#Dates will still be slow but hopefully I’ll be able to get some more out

[sees-text-shenans]

Here’s another dumb idea I just got:

SEES chat bullies the tarty tower.

Once again you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, thanks again for all your content.

guess whose back

[greywritesthings]

Silence (1)

Spencer Reid x SelectiveMute!Morgan!Reader

warnings; panic attack, parental death, bullying, murder, arson, general cm violence described

A/N; This is the start of a hopefully 5 ish part series possibly more, any reblogs comments and likes are very much appreciated <33

( Kinda proofread but I'm exhausted when posting so corrections are welcome)

SR Masterlist

Masterlist

Read on Ao3 instead!

Next

You - I’m coming up the elevator, your floor 6 right?  

Der Bear - Yeah, I’ll be right outside them don’t worry.  

You - KK Thnx :) 

You close your phone and put it back in your pocket, bouncing on your heels as you wait for the unreasonably slow elevator to take you up six floors. You're both excited and nervous, it's your first day at the BAU, something you never thought you would be able to do with your anxiety disorder. You were adopted at the age of seven but you had known the Morgans as a whole before that, your mother was friends with Derek's mother so you spent a lot of time there as a child. 

You were five when your parents died, you were being babysat by Derek while they were going on a date, you were to stay the night at the Morgans, go to kindergarten the next day and they would pick you up, but that night the house burnt down and they didn’t get out in time. The Morgans had adopted you as soon as they could, you had no other living family so they took you in, you were practically family to them already so it made sense to everyone. 

As you grew up it was realised you were a lot smarter than the average child, you were able to test into a private school who gave you a scholarship through elementary and middle school, it gave you a good setup to go through to their partnered high school. You had an agreement that if you consisted with your performance that you would go through to the high school with a full ride scholarship then most likely go to some form of an ivy league but one day in middle school you were learning about arsonists who intend to kill in criminology, not a normal subject but it was offered so you took it, and you were taught about your house fire. The house fire you thought was due to faulty sockets, Derek and Fran had told you that at the time. 

You were frozen, listening to the teacher talk about how your parents were a part of a string of murders where the houses were then burnt down to cover them up, they were not explicit on the details, you were all still in eighth grade, but it was enough to shake you. You got lucky in the fact it was the last period of the day so you could get out of there immediately after, you practically fell over your own feet trying to get out of the room, only half sure you remembered everything. 

As soon as you had gotten off the grounds you ran home, you knew Derek was the only one there as your mom was working and your sisters had moved out. You were thanking the gods he was home for the weekend. He had moved out some time ago but stopped by when he could now that it was just you and your mom. Despite your thirteen year age gap you were closer with Derek than you were your sisters, you had always spent the most time with him while he lived in the house and you both kept in regular communication once he moved out, unlike with your sisters. They were never mean to you, you just never formed as close of a bond. 

Once you do reach home you fall through the door, tears threatening to fall, both in anger and in bitter sadness. You were angry you were lied to and devastated that your parents were not just murdered but apparently tortured in their own home. You bolt straight to the living room knowing that's where Derek would probably be. 

“Hey hey hey, what's wrong sweets?” Derek asks as you appear around the doorway, chest heaving and tears now flooding your cheeks as sobs wrack through your body. “THEY WERE MURDERED DEREK, MY PARENTS, NOT JUST MURDERED, TORTURED THEN BURNT ALIVE AS THEY BLED OUT!” you yell at him, for the first time in your life you yell at him in anger, you had been angry at him before, typical sibling fights growing up but you had never shouted, it just wasn't in your nature. He looked confused, then guilty quickly followed by sympathy and sadness. “How, how did you find out?” he asked, he looked like he wanted to approach you but you glared at him in a way he hadn't seen before, you looked both scared and furious, he knew he didn't have much time to explain before you decide to not talk to him until you could trust him again. “Can you sit. I'll make hot cocoa and explain everything, promise.” He sees you relax slightly but you go the opposite way around the couch purposely to avoid him. 

To Derek's credit he did explain most of the details, he left some out and told you he did so, he knew you understood more than practically anyone your age, you were doing highschool courses in middle school but that didn't mean he wanted you to know the full details of how your parents were murdered, no matter how old or smart you were. You were a mess by the end of it, you were so angry but it wasn't directed at Derek or Fran anymore, just the man the BAU caught and had put away for life. 

That day had instilled a determination and an anxiety in your mind. You were determined to join the BAU one day, human behaviour was already a fascination of yours so it seemed like the right choice, it had been on your radar anyway, but you also began struggling mentally. You started struggling to speak in places that weren't home, it didn't matter who it was trying to talk to you, you just couldn't get the words out.

Where the school was filled with genius children a high percent of your grade was based on participation meaning when you stopped speaking, your grades started dropping, rapidly. You knew what was coming before it officially came. 

You got the letter. 

You have been rejected from Sweetwood High School for the upcoming academic year and have been denied scholarship from The Towers foundation. Due to policy you will not be able to reapply. We thank you for your application. 

And you cried. A lot. But no matter how much you tried you still couldn't get yourself to talk when you weren't at home. The school wasn't all that supportive, the counsellor just told you to talk and teachers just got frustrated with you, often yelling at you. Kids began bullying you for your lack of speaking. It just became a hellish place on earth. Then Derek moved to Virginia just after you graduated middle school. 

You managed to keep the not talking and the slipped grades to yourself, you even managed to keep the rejection from sweetwood from your mother. You had gotten acceptance from the local high school just down the road from your house given your middle schools C equalled out to their A* they were happy to have you.

You managed to keep up your act until you had Derek on your bed one evening, holding your report card, the letter of concern and rejection letter. You were expecting a lecture, maybe he would yell at you like you had those months ago. “I'm sorry, I don't know why this is happening.”  is all you said, sagging in defeat. “Come with me over to Virginia, kid. I've been getting phone calls practically off the hook and I didn't want to confront you but I think you need a change of place. I spoke to Mom already and as long as you still visit when I do she's okay with it.” So that's really why you hadn't been caught out, noted. “What's going on kid?” 

And now you were here, walking into your job at the FBI, with two doctorates with an in progress third, two master's degrees and three fast tracked bachelors degrees to boot, you had skipped high school physically but you had done high school courses in middle school and late elementary so you had the credits. You focused your first two Bachelors on having fun as they took you a year a piece so you had them at fifteen, One in psychology and the other in Mechanical engineering. Then you got serious and gained your bachelors in criminology, masters degrees in psychology and linguistics then completed your PHDs in Linguistics and Psychology and you were now around six months away from finishing your third PHD in Mathematics. You had plans to gain another degree, be it a masters or another PHD. But you were going to take a break to get settled into the BAU once you had finished your current work. 

“Hey sweetheart, you ready?” Derek asks, giving you his million watt smile as the lift doors open and you step out into the lobby. You nod signing to him. “Yeah but talkings just is not going to happen. Can you translate? The last thing I want is an actual translator on my first day.” Derek had learnt sign language to make life easier for you, and him really, no more writing down everything. “Sure thing sweetheart, Hotch has text to speech software set up on a designated laptop for you as well for when I'm not there as you’re go between or for meetings.” and you visibly relax at that. This place already seemed more welcoming to your lack of talking than anywhere else and you had barely started. “Cmon, let's go to Hotch's office, you have paperwork and introductions to do.'' He led you through the bullpen up to Hotch's office and poked his head in to tell him you were here where you were then told to come in. 

“y/n, good to see you again” He greets, reaching across the table to shake your hand. You nod giving him a smile in greeting. “We do have a case so the team is in the round table room down the hall now but I have to make a phone call so you have about ten minutes to make introductions. You can do the substantial paperwork when we get back just sign this form so I can give you your standard issue and Agent ID.” He explains, you appreciate him running through everything and sign the form on his desk, taking the gun and badge he hands you. You give him another nod and smile as you go to leave the room. “Oh and y/n? The team knows your selective mute, so they won't ask questions, I hope that was okay.” You nod, you're fine with people knowing your selective mute. You just hoped that once you were comfortable around the team you were going to be able to talk to them, atleast at the office.

You head down the corridor to the meeting room where the team were gathered, You had their names and faces committed to memory from pictures of the team Derek had around the house. You could have moved out years ago but Derek preferred you stayed with him, he had a great security system in a much better area than you could afford and it was closer to the Bureau and the university where you did research and professor work and it was a comfort to him knowing he could protect you easier where you lived with him. He also had you trained in guns and self defence so you could look after yourself and for his own piece of mind when you were alone at home or out and about once he started at the BAU.

Your anxiety ramps back up as you step into the room, all eyes turning too you as you walk through the doorway. You look towards Derek pleading with him to start introductions before it gets awkward. “This everyone is my baby sister y/n, she's a new agent with us.” He introduces you as you hover slightly towards him. Recognition spreads across the agent's faces, “Your Derek's sister? Oh my god you're so pretty!” A woman you recognise as Penelope squeals, rushing over to hug you. You hugged her back, Derek had warned you she was one for physical affection before you came. “It's so nice to meet you but I have to ask, what are we calling you given your both agent Morgans?” she asked as she pulled away. You smiled and began signing, not entirely sure Derek would be able to see your hands but he knew the answer so it didn't matter anyway. “I have two doctorates so Doctor Morgan or Doc works in the field, other than that you can use my first name.” Derek manages to translate for you despite the awkward angle. With the team nodding. You turn to face them where Emily, JJ Spencer and Rossi all introduce themselves, Spencer asking you in sign if you could talk about your PHDs later to which you nod excitedly, partly at being able to speak to another person about your PHD and having a second person on the team speak sign. It was then that Hotch came in to begin the briefing. 

“You ready? You can always start the next case you know right? No one expects you to hit the ground running, you know.” Derek checks in with you as you head out of the room. “Yeah I know but I'm here to solve cases not sit around Derek, I'll be fine, I have a bag in my car.” He gives you a nod as he diverts to his desk leaving you to carry on down to the parking lot before heading to the tarmac.

Once you get settled onto the jet Spencer joins you, opting to sit in front to make it easier for him to read your hands, you guessed he knew ASL but hadn't had much practise using it with other people. When Derek joined you on the jet he just nodded at you and sat in a chair not far away, knowing you were happy where you were, talking about the things you loved with someone who actually understood them for once in a way that wasn't awkward for either of you. A perfect match in his eyes.

Taglist; @reidstheyfriend

[karmic-vibes]

Oh, Baby, Baby

premise: t4t steddie where Stevie gets her six kids.

1 - One Drink’s What Led to Change

art credit: shinydirtycoin on twitter

cw: teen pregnancy, gender dysphoria, rapid progressing labor, accidental misgendering/use of deadname

Year: 1984

“Is Eds really making out with the Stevie Harrington? This can’t fucking be real,” Gareth gawked.

“Yeah, they’ve been dating for nearly a month. Where the hell have you been?” Jeff teased.

“Yeah, they’ve been dating for nearly a month. Where the hell have you been?” Jeff teased.

“Clearly not here. How’d he even bag her? She’s Hawkins royalty.”

“I dunno, maybe because they’re the only trans people for miles and find comfort in each other?”

“Christ, no need to go all sappy, Jeff.”

“I think it’s cute,” Grant shrugged.

“Can you assholes stop staring at us,” Eddie hollered.

“I gotta head to class,” Stevie sighed. “See you tonight?

“I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“Can’t wait.” Eddie placed a chaste kiss on her lips as she walked away.

“God, the things she does to me.” He clutched his chest and dramatically flung himself against the lockers. “Boys, I might be in love.”

“Slow your roll, Ed, it’s only been a month.”

“Hey, when you know, you know.”

Later that night, Eddie picked Stevie up at her house and the two drove off to the quarry. Eddie packed dinner for the two of them, but it was quickly forgotten when Stevie dragged her boyfriend into the back of the van. They had been making out since they got there, both desperate for more.

“God, Stevie,” Eddie breathed between kisses. “Fuck me, please.”

“Mm, you sure?” she panted.

“Never been more sure of anything. I need you… please…”

“Anything for you, pretty boy.”

While neither of them imaged their first time together being in the back of a dingy van, they wouldn’t have it any other way. They both left that night satisfied and smiling, eager for the next time they got to do it. Hell, they were eager just to see each other again. The time they spent together was addicting—better than any drug out there.

The couple spent every waking moment they could together. On each other whenever possible.

One evening, when Stevie’s parents weren’t home—because when were they ever—the couple was making out on the couch, ignoring the movie they had popped in. Suddenly, Eddie felt sick to his stomach. He had to pull away from his girlfriend to catch his breath and hopefully ease his stomach. When he still felt queasy, he gently pushed Stevie off his lap and sprinted to the bathroom. He heaved up his dinner, struggling to get a breath in.

“Eddie, baby? You okay?” Stevie called.

“Mhmm, just peachy.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Just don’t feel good. Stomach hurts.”

“Was it from dinner?”

“Dunno.”

“Okay, well, let’s go run to the drug store and get you some pepto. Sound good?”

“Yeah, just… just give me a sec.”

“Take all the time you need.”

When Eddie was finally able to summon all his strength, the two headed to the closest convenience store to find something to help ease the poor boy’s stomach. As they wandered the aisles, Stevie grabbed whatever she thought would help. Eddie managed to get separated from his girlfriend, somehow ending up in the feminine hygiene section. He figured he’d get some more period products while he was there.

As he reached for his usual brand of tampons, it hit him—why hadn’t he had his period yet? He should’ve gotten it three weeks ago. When the realization set in, he fumbled to grab the cheapest set of pregnancy tests he could find. He tucked the box into the waist band of his pants so he wouldn’t have to explain himself to Stevie.

I’ll test in the morning, he thought.

Sure enough, both of the them were positive.

He couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid. Him and Stevie only had unprotected sex once—but then again, that’s all it takes. Eddie dreaded telling his girlfriend. What if she dumped him? What if she gave him an ultimatum he couldn’t dare choose between?

God, he didn’t know if the stupid fetus or his own ramped brain was making him more nauseous.

Eddie decided to pull the trigger and tell Stevie during their next date night. When the couple was in the middle of eating dinner in Stevie’s massive dining room, Eddie was busy psyching himself up.

“Hey, Stevie?” he whispered.

“Yeah?”

“I have to tell you something…”

“Is everything okay?”

“No, not really.”

“Are you okay?”

“I mean, I could be better.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m pregnant…”

“What…”

“Yeah… I don’t know what I’m gonna do yet. Kinda wanted your opinion.”

“I… shit…”

“Yep.”

“I guess my biggest question is… would you be okay going through with it? Y’know, mentally. The last thing I’d want is for you to get dysphoric.”

“Wait, you… you wanna keep it?”

“I mean, yeah, why not? I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Never thought this young, but, yeah… if you want to, then I want to.”

“Your parents are gonna kill us.”

“My dad might, yeah. My mom will probably help us out a bit.”

“If not, then there’s always Wayne.”

“We’re gonna be parents…”

“Shit, yeah, we are…”

Slowly but surely, the couple broke the news to their friends and family. Wayne was in shock, but supportive nonetheless. Steve’s mom, Pattie, was disappointed, but assured she’d get a nursery together for the little one. Then, Mr. Harrington—John—demanded that if the couple were to go through with this, then they would need to get married. He refused to have a kid that was going to be a teen parent with a bastard child.

“Dad, we’re only seventeen. We’re not gonna get married,” Stevie sighed.

“Steven– I, ugh, Stephanie, either you two get married or I give your girl– fuck, boyfriend a ride to the Planned Parenthood clinic.”

“Dad, Eddie would have to ask his uncle and he’d have to sign the consent forms. There’s a lot that would go into it. Plus, Eddie gets a say in this too.”

“I mean… if it’s our only option, then, yeah… I’d be okay with it. I’m sure I can rope Wayne into signing the papers.”

“Good. Stevie?” John raised a brow.

“Yeah, fuck it… let’s do it.”

Within the week, Stevie and Eddie were officially married—John even struck another deal that if Eddie became a Harrington, he would support them until after high school and were able to get on their feet. While Wayne wasn’t thrilled with everything happening so quickly, he was just happy that his nephew was being taken care of.

The rumor mill in Hawkins was spinning like crazy—between the two teens getting married and Eddie’s stomach getting larger and larger, they couldn’t catch a break. And before they knew it, the nine months had flown by—Eddie had gone into labor while in the middle of chemistry.

“Shit, fuck,” he cried. “Someone get Stevie!”

“Took ya fucking long enough to pop,” Jeff teased.

“Not now! Someone get my fucking wife!”

“On it!” Gareth yelled.

“Jesus Christ, c’mere, Eddie. Let’s get you down to the nurse,” Mrs. Click said.

“What the fuck is the nurse gonna do,” he sobbed.

“She can monitor you while Gareth gets Stevie.”

“I’m here, I’m here!” Stevie panted as she ran into the classroom. “Okay, baby, let’s get you to the hospital.”

“Good luck, Eddie!” the class cheered.

“Okay, one last– fuck,” he cringed. “One last tally. What does everyone think it is? Raise your hand for a boy.” A few shot their hands up. “Okay, girl?” A majority raised their hands. “Alright, I’ll be back in like a month so everyone can meet it. Okay, time to have a human shoot out of me.”

“Nice way to be modest, Ed,” Stevie said.

“Shut it and get me to the fucking hospital.”

By the time Stevie got Eddie to the hospital, he was nearly fully dilated. He was hunched over, screaming in pain as Stevie pulled onto the curb by the ER entrance.

“Ah, fuck, I read this was supposed to take hours!”

Sweat poured from his forehead as Stevie helped him into a wheelchair. Eddie was brought up to labor and delivery, hauled into a bed just in the knick of time. The nurses stripped him of his clothes, promptly unbinding his chest.

“Why-Why do you have to take that off?” he sniffed. “I-I wanna keep it on.”

“Eddie, dear, you can’t have anything constricting you. It could be dangerous.”

“Okay, Missus– sorry, Mr. Harrington, you’re nearly there. Get ready to push soon.”

“Why is it moving so fast? I thought this was gonna take like a whole day…”

“Labor varies from person to person. You just lucked out with it being quick,” the doctor explain.

“Lucked out!? The stupid thing is trying to shoot out of me!” Eddie screamed.

“Eds, breathe.”

“Shut up, Harrington! God, she’s coming out, I feel her!” Eddie shrieked. “Stevie, baby, do it for me, please.”

“I can’t, Eddie.”

“Please! I don’t wanna do this! God, I can’t do this!”

“Eddie, on your next contraction, you’re gonna push,” the doctor said.

“I can’t!” he whimpered.

“Yes, you can,” Stevie assured. “Give us our baby, Eddie.”

“Ahh, god help me!”

“Push, Ed.”

Within ten minutes, Eddie had managed to get an entire human out of him. His head hit the bed as the entire room spun. His body shook uncontrollably as he tried to adjust to the pain, blinking hard, trying to get a sense of what was going on.

“It’s a girl!” someone cheered.

“Oh, Eddie, she’s beautiful,” Stevie cried.

“Here you go, Eddie. Congrats, daddy,” a nurse beamed, placing the screaming newborn on his chest.

“Oh, my god. Hi… oh, god, hi, baby girl.”

“You did it,” Stevie beamed.

“I made this,” he panted. “I made this, Stevie. Holy shit…”

“Mom, dad, do we have a name?”

“Shit, do we?” Eddie breathed.

“Yes, we do,” Stevie giggled. “Maggie Mae Harrington.”

“Oh, yeah… sorry, my brain is mush.”

“Don’t be sorry, Eddie. You just gave birth, for Christ’s sake.”

“God, we have a kid… we’re parents, Stevie…”

“We’re parents, Eddie…”

When Eddie and Maggie were moved into a postpartum room, Stevie took it upon herself to call her parents and Wayne. Everyone poured into the room, one by one, eager to meet the new baby. Even John, who didn’t outwardly show it, was excited to meet his granddaughter.

“Here she is,” Eddie smiled.

“Wow… she’s beautiful…” John said.

“Yeah, she sure is. She has Stevie’s looks—thank god.”

“Shut up, she has your eyes,” Stevie smirked.

“She has your nose.”

“Poor thing.”

“May I hold her?” Wayne asked.

“Oh, yeah, of course.”

The adults gradually passed her around as the two teens rested against each other contently in the hospital bed. Maggie eventually drifted off to sleep in Pattie’s arms, to which the new grandmother took with stride, getting to hold the baby the longest.

“So, how’re you feeling, Ed?” Wayne asked.

[borderline-gays-club]

4/24/24. 11:38am

Some recent thoughts that have been stewing in my head for a few weeks:

I’m slowly feeling my BPD symptoms shedding and dissipating from my body and soul. And this current shedding does not feel temporary but rather a beginning to a new growth.

I’ve finally delved into the roots of my shame and am really going head first into it. Already this initial step has relieved such a huge weight off of myself. I feel lighter everyday , I feel more purposeful, and closer to healing this relationship with myself. It actually feels possible to enter remission before I’m 35. Honestly I might be able to by the time I’m 30 but I’m not gonna focus too much on the age, and will continue to take the time I need.

A few things that have really been working for me:

-moving very slow: I’ve had a really bad habit for basically my whole life of moving way too fast. I have to do 10 things in a day to feel accomplished. I have to finish this difficult thing by a very short period of time etc etc. I didn’t give myself time to just exist, and my whole existence was dedicated to production and proving my worth through that. And I lost myself completely in that. I didn’t give myself time to literally smell the flowers. I would feel guilty if I leisurely went about my day without doing a productive thing. But now I’m actually understanding productivity in a different way. This production mode I was in was really fuckin killing me. Both my body and soul. My identity became even more obscure and distant to me. And now I can sit and just talk to myself for hours without feeling like I have to rush through the day. I really am more intentional about rushing as little as possible. Ofc capitalism forces us all to move too fast, but I do my absolute best to fight that speed and to always prioritize slowness and gentleness.

-actually talking about my shame and trying really hard to understand it: this one is the most recent thing I’ve finally had the ability to pursue. It’s taken so long to actually enter this phase of my understanding of myself, and I’ve known how crucial it is but I was just too scared. This one has been really fucking hard to break through and I’m just starting so I don’t have much to say yet. But I’m moving through the process: no matter how painful the truth is more important than hiding in myself and being secretive. That has been the reason for this rot I’ve felt in my body for so long.

-doing things that are purely pleasurable and that are fully self ignited: when I say fully self ignited I mean something that doesn’t rely on outside things. And I guess I’m still trying to find a better way to say it, but I’m thinking of pleasure that doesn’t rely on things like substances or addictivite people or etc. basically pleasure outside of addictive highs whatever the source of that is. Cus even video games or food can be addictive which I’ve talked abt before. For example things I’ve found the most pleasurable have been things I make or actively participate in. Like writing stories, or singing, or boxing etc. I’ll find a better way to describe this one but hopefully I’m getting the idea across.

-revisiting and participating in childhood interests and joys: this one has been so healing for me in terms of understanding identity. I feel like the moment I started to lose a sense of self was when I started to try really hard to be liked and accepted instead of doing what I do and finding like minded ppl. So revisiting childhood interests has been reminding myself of what was important to me before I started to absorb others. It’s a good starting point to build upon and to shed all the ppl I’ve absorbed throughout most of my life.

-treating myself like I’m in a full time dedicated relationship with myself: I take myself out on dates. I have a dedicated day every week that is just for me, my solo day. I do whatever I want when I want. I eat what I want, I play my games that I want, I watch what I want, etc. and even throughout the week I’ll have moments where I get a nice coffee for myself or do something I’ve wanted to do for a long time but haven’t been able to. This isn’t like necessary lol but I do kinda treat myself like 2 ppl and will have full convos with myself. It helps to think of myself as 2 bc then I can feel like I’m caring for another while also caring for myself.

-reading/listening/learning abt vast range of topics that eventually overlap with BPD related things. Basically diversifying my sources of knowledge instead of boxing myself in just psychiatry/therapy worlds: this one took a long time bc the immediate resources you find when you just Google BPD fuckin suck. And everything that is easy to find is stuck in DBT and western thought. With that said, DBT has definitely helped me a lot, but I think it was best as an introduction rather than the full solution. I mean I remember being like huh?? When I found out that DBT was treated like a bible within BPD treatment. I knew deep down that relying on one method to treat such a vast range of experiences is not realistic. There’s no such thing as one size fits all. Every individual is too complex and layered even with the same diagnoses. But I will say it’s very tricky to navigate finding other ways of treatment/understand self bc it can be easy to fall into traps of cultish ideologies or “self help” things that are really actually fucked up and make you regress. Outside of DBT stuff though a lot of things that have helped me better understand myself has been general emotion science, anything that really analyzes shame, reading books abt my own specific sources of shame, disability justice, and idk a lot of other stuff! I still haven’t allowed myself to get into reading abt spirituality stuff cus I’m just not ready yet. But slowly I’ll get there to better understand where I come from and where my lineage lies.

-finding and maintaining community: this one is also hard in the beginning and tbh is not always possible. But the more I grow, the easier it becomes to maintain relationships that eventually lead to a community. Like my immediate community is only 3 ppl including myself but even just that has been so amazing. We all have slowly learned how to support each other esp as we are all neurodivergent and disabled and it’s been genuinely beautiful. I’m lucky to find the friends that I have, and I’m also so happy to be in a place where I can healthily support my friends too. And now I’m able to look for community in different ways. And I’m also at a place where I can set boundaries with others and a lot more quickly sniff out red flags and keep distance when it’s needed.

Anyway I’m really proud of myself to be in the place I am. I really could not see a future for myself until Mayb like 2 yrs ago and now I’m more hopeful than ever. It’s been so fucking hard but I’m so grateful that I have been dedicated to change. And!! Not to mention I haven’t been able to go o therapy as much as I wud like bc im broke as shit, but I’m still able to grow on my own in a steady pace. And now I’m really seeing it in myself as I continue to work through all of it. I can genuinely say I love myself and wow I haven’t felt that way since I was a kid probably (excluding euphoria and manic episodes lol). Thank u to anyone who’s read this far and I wish you the absolute best in your own healing journey.

[princessjellyfish]

Here are all the books I read in 2022  – and those I haven’t finished (yet)!

It might not seem like a lot, but I only read two books in 2021, so I set a modest goal of 12 books for 2022 and am pleased to have been able to surpass it!

More discussion below the cut.

I completed 14 books, plus two comic books (Let’s Get Burgers by Ash S. [loved it] and Boy’s Club by Matt Furie [not for me]) which I’m not including here because it feels like cheating.

In addition, I’ve been slowly going through the massive Azumanga Daioh: The Omnibus (Kiyohiko Azuma) since early in 2022. I also am still working through Jorge Luis Borges’ Labyrinths (my partner and I read short stories to each other while we wash dishes, so this will be a slow one), and am almost done with The Left Hand of Darkness (Ursula K. Le Guin). 

The one book I started but gave up on is The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck). I should have checked the page count of this epic before requesting it from the library... I actually didn’t dislike it, but I just found it a bit too overwhelming. Hopefully I’ll be able to revisit it in the future. 

My two five-star books from this year are Smoke Gets in Your Eyes (Caitlin Doughty) and The Plague (Albert Camus), but I also count Noor (Nnedi Okorafor) in my top three. Other highlights were Acceptance (Jeff Vandermeer), the conclusion to the Southern Reach trilogy (a series that took me way too long to finally complete, but which I absolutely loved), as well as Thrawn (Timothy Zahn). The Hot Zone (Richard Preston) was also absolutely thrilling, though some of the more dated aspects kept it out of my favorites.

Breaking down my reading stats from StoryGraph (which includes the two comic books), I read 69% fiction and 31% nonfiction in 2022. I think this is pretty good! I like to read a mixture of the two, though I lean more towards fiction. I’d like to keep this balance up in 2023.

Below is my genre breakdown:

Not surprised that sci-fi came out on top, and I actually think it will actually be a higher proportion next year. I’m debating whether I want to consciously branch out into other genres / try to be more “balanced”. It could be a fun challenge, but I kinda just want to stick with what I know I love!

And here is my “mood” breakdown:

Not completely sure what to make of this, but it’s a fun feature that StoryGraph has! Honestly I think these are a little vague, so not that useful.

I’m pretty proud of myself for coming out ahead of the goal I set for myself, and I’m really looking forward to reading more in 2023. Not in any kind of order, here are a few books that I look forward to reading in 2023 (it will be interesting to look back in a year and see if I actually read these!):

Convenience Store Woman, Sayaka Murata

Terraform: Watch/Worlds/Burn, multiple authors

Before the Coffee Gets Cold, Toshikazu Kawaguchi

One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez

Binti, Nnedi Okorafor

Roadside Picnic, Arkady and Boris Strugatsky

To anyone who actually read this long post, if you have a favorite book you read in 2022, let me know! I’d love to get recommendations or just hear about what you liked. And shout out to @umbralglade​ for letting me chat with you about books this year and helping inspire me to keep on track, even if you didn’t know it! :)

[sweetiepie08]

A note for my fanfic readers (if you’re out there)

Hi, not sure how many people who read my fics follow my tumblr but Ao3 doesn’t really have a good way of putting out a mass update, so I’m putting it here.

For the readers of my current multichap fanfics, which include Gifted Kids, Through Your Teeth, and Truth Be Told, I know that it’s been a couple months since I posted knew chapters. But I want to make sure everyone knows, NONE OF THESE FANFICS ARE ABANDONED!!!

I am still working on all of them. However, there has been real life stuff going on in the past few months that has drained my energy and made it difficult for me to focus on my writing. I’ll be able to get down a few more sentences one night, or manage a couple paragraphs, but overall progress has been slow.

Basically, I’ve just been in a writing slump.

However! The good news is, some of the real life stuff (leaving my old job and starting a new one) does have a set end date! Hopefully when I am fully transitioned out of my old job, some of my stress will be alleviated and I’ll be able to focus when I’m writing again!

If you do have questions about my fics, or just want to talk fandom in general, feel free to send an ask and I’ll get back to you whenever I can.

I look forward to continuing these stories and still think about them everyday. So if you’re a fan and you think these fics have been abandoned, just sit tight! Hopefully they’ll be more updates soon!

[vtforpedro]

general update

Today has been one of the worst days I’ve had in a while. Emotionally, but also with this fatigue that won’t go away. Blegh. Realized I’m less than two months from a year since the lumbar puncture that ruined my life. My mom’s life. I’m able to do a lot more, but I still can’t turn on the shower or help with food. I can’t bend or twist even slightly. My mom has to get the apt ready for me to be able to reach what I need throughout the day. I’m missing all the PT I have left because of this fatigue. Anyway I’ve had a few ‘one year anniversary’ dates that were Not Good but uhh it’s been a decade as of next month since the last one got to me lol What’s with April man My relationship with my mom isn’t the same anymore and I don’t know what to do about that. Gonna have to focus on it later because more than anything else I want to be left alone. I’m tired of being made to feel like I’m an inconvenience and after almost a year of it it’s kinda. Old. Still a lot there that needs to be fixed but some of it is permanent damage. Anyway, I was thinking about my grandma this morning because she’s turning 90 in a few days. My mom came over at lunch and told me she was in the hospital. Thankfully, she’s home and resting. She fell while taking her dog on a short walk to the mailbox and back. She said she waved for help at all the cars that passed but not a single person stopped to help this 90yo woman at least be on the sidewalk rather than in the street. IIIIIIIIII wish I could talk to those people :) just :) a chat :))))) I love my grandma and I haven’t seen her since 2019. We were really close all my life. Now she suffers dementia, anger issues, and isn’t who I knew in 2019. All very normal for aging, as unfortunate as it is, but I wish I knew I was saying goodbye that holiday season. I don’t think I’ll ever see her again. The world pretends covid isn’t a thing anymore but I have to continue taking precautions because it very much is and could very much kill me. And even if covid wasn’t around, IIH prevents me from doing anything, as y’all know. It’s such a weird, shitty, lonely place to be. Got no end in sight for my own health problems. My PCP is sending me back to rheumatology, but they’re booked out until July. Not looking forward to these next few months. I haven’t heard about disability, but one month down. Hopefully it’ll be soon that I’ll at least know. Hoping for good things because they narrowed me down to zero jobs and that usually means disabled so 🤞 I’m sorry for being so slow to respond or not responding at all. I don’t have many spoons to start my days. Love you all. Stay safe and as happy and healthy as you can. 💜

[djnusagi]

What is MANGADEX

I just put out a seven track album called MANGADEX that I’ve been working on since 2020 and I wanted to talk a little bit about the process behind it.

MANGADEX is about a particular part of my life. For a lot of my life, especially my adolescence, I was extremely antisocial, and I still am to some degree. I’ve known I was transgender since I was 12, and I’ve explicitly “wanted to be a girl” since I was 7. Like I was always a little bit “off” and uncomfortable with maleness and bad at performing it but when I was 7 I became obsessed with wanting to be a girl. But I didn’t know about trans people yet, and I knew enough to know that if I started telling people I wanted to be a girl it would go badly for me. When I finally learned what being trans was I told my parents. They reacted really badly but after a year they relented and took me to a “gender clinic”. That only made things worse. I won’t go into detail but I was like 13 and spent hours being interrogated by adults about my sexuality, masturbation, and all variety of unpleasant topics. Eventually they determined I wasn’t trans and I would  eventually grow out of.

After that I tried really hard to repress my dysphoria, which didn’t go well. It only got worse and worse as I got older. I became extremely withdrawn and antisocial, I never left my bedroom except when I absolutely had to and spent most of my free time engrossed in escapist fantasy through video games, anime and manga. I also used the internet a LOT. The internet was also where I read most of my manga and watched most of my anime, specifically through the websites MangaDex and kissanime.

In 2020 I had the idea to make two albums that would work as companion pieces. They would both be reflections on dysphoria, escapism and isolation. The first album, which I decided to call MANGADEX, would be a more positive album, focusing on the trying to find a way out of this state and what little good I could scrape out of it. This album was planned to be shorter (at one point it was a four track EP), with more emphasis on flashy sound design and high energy tracks influenced by dance music. The second album would be called kissanime. It would be longer (I’m anticipating about 10 tracks), with a focus on how fucking depressing and miserable this period in my life was/is. kissanime is going to be a lot sadder, with more atmospheric production (basically a bunch of Drain Gang type beats).

I’m aiming for a march release date for kissanime, but who knows when it’ll actually come out. MANGADEX was meant to come out in October and it just dropped a few days ago on December 2nd. If nothing else there’s a track on kissanime about aging and birthday’s that I wanna put out as a single on my actual birthday (March 6th) so hopefully I’ll be able to do that. I also have way more than 10 tracks in various stages of creation for kissanime, and I had to cut a track I was really excited for from MANGADEX because I just couldn’t figure out how to finish it. So after kissanime is out I’m gonna finish up all the leftover shit, maybe pad it out with some loosies, and call the resulting album nhentai (thanks to my friend PixelQuiet for coming up with that name, she’s a really cool gamedev and you should follow her)

But the thing about these two albums is that they don’t 100% represent where I am in my life anymore. The part in my life they’re about will probably always be with me to some extent and I’m honestly not fully out of that space yet. But when I started HRT in August 2021 it triggered a very slow move towards a more healthy social life and a healthier (though still extremely negative) relationship with my body. I’ve learned a lot about myself since then and I think I’ve grown a lot as a person. After I’m done with this series of albums I wanna do an album about where I am now. I’m stuck in my home town living with my parents and wanna get out. I’ve already begun writing for that album actually. I also want that album to be more guitar-centric and have sort of a post hardcore influence. Anyways, if you read all this then thank you. I hope you’re enjoying MANGADEX and I hope you enjoy kissanime when it finally comes out.

- V

[sungbeam]

HELLO?? ACTUALLY NO YOU DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO SHOW THE WIPS(/jkjk) BC NOW IT’LL BE THE ONLY THINGS I THINK ABT NAURRRRR

ARGH I JUST KNOW THAT SLOW DANCING WILL BE PEAK 2000S ROMCOM AS WELL AND I SHALL EAT IT UP 😮‍💨🙏🙏 e2l, rekindling of love, A WEDDING, FAKE DATING??? RAH TOO GOOD

AND THEN JACOB ALTER EGO OK I SEE YOU I SEE YOU 🫣 AND PLEEK HAWKEYE IS ONE OF THE ONLY MARVEL MOVIES I HAVENT WATCHED HELPPPP BUT I’LL SEE IF IT’S ON DISNEY+ LMAO AND THEN AN ANGSTY KISS IN THE RAIN??? LEMME KISS YOU BEAUTIFUL BRAIN RN

And also…. Bloodied up Sunwoo…. Phew… I HOPE NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO THE BOYS AND THAT THEY NEVER DROP A SPECK OF BLOOD FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES BUT YOU’RE SO REAL FOR THAT LIKE THE MAVERICK ALBUM PICS HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPA WAYYYYYYYYYYY 🫣🫣🫣🫣 but eek the perfume counter scene sounds SOOO COOL can’t wait to see it!

And I’m not sure if I would be a casual marvel fan or an actual marvel fan like I’ve watched nearly all the movies and I know most of the lore but I din’t really catch up with the comics and I’m basically only gated to the movies and series spinoffs 😭 I’ve been a lil slacking since covid but I’m trying to catch up with the wasp and now quantumania! (Hopefully I spelt that right) but yeah! I’ve been watching marvel since I was a little kid lolol so I’m always down every year to see the new marvel movie!

But yeahhhhh I feel like I was somewhat prepared to see GOTG3 just cause I saw the Rocket floor clip on youtube but damn it still didn’t prepare me to see how horrific,y they were treated 😭 Floor’s design freaked me out the most but she was still so sweetie and it just ARGH ☹️☹️

But yeah! MANIFESTING THAT TBZ COMES TO BOTH OF OUR CITIES THIS TOUR I SWEARRR 😭🙏 and hold awn, how were you able to write the Changmin fic on a PLANEEEEEE pla I’m always so embarrassed when I whip out my ipad to even watch a movie 😭 like phew you are wayyyy stronger than me JSUNFJGNE

Also, just a fun lil question, if you were to turn ANYYYYYY of your fics into a live action movie, which one would it be 😳 (could be published or a WIP 🤭)

- Love you 3000, 🌷 anon

THIS REPLY GOT SUPER LONG LMFAO

SLFNKDNFKDJFJ HEY IF THEYRE STUCK IN MY HEAD, IMMA MAKE EM STUCK IN URS TOO 😁😁😁 PLS THE 2000S ROMCOM ALLEGATIONS ILY AHAHHA i just need to write more tension for that man like it's nearly impossible NOT to atp, and i found this thing on pinterest the other day

ITS SO HARD NOT TO THINK OF HIM FOR THESE AND AKDNKEKD (´Д⊂ヽ I THINK SLOW DANCING WOULD BE THE PERFECT EXCUSE

okok i found the one hawkeye ronin scene from end game for reference, and im sure u can find the one scene on yt somewhere cuz it was FIRE

LMAO I JUST REALIZED BUT NAT IN THE BACKGROUND LOOKS LIKE 🧍🏻‍♀️ AHHAHAHAHAH BUT essentially, i saw jacob in the roar mv and thought of this IMMEDIATELY !! omg no cuz i also wish them all the good health in the world, but i just have a morbid obsession w bloodied and bruised aus and whump tropes, like i wanted bruised knuckles and busted lips and split eyebrows y'know ??? and GODDDD THERES A REASON MAVERICK HAD ME BY THE NECK FOR SO LONG LIKE IT WAS THE FIRST TBZ TT THAT I WAS OBSESSED W it's like,,, my perfect concept like it was MADE TO APPEAL TO MY DERANGED AESTHETIC??? so yeah im ready to beat up sunwoo, chxngmxn, and jacob 🙏🏼

ahhh icic, i think i would have also been a casual watcher but my parents were so into it so my brother and i also, naturally, became hooked !! i also was not able to really read the comic books bc they cost money and there r just so many of them :')) but yeah, hope ur able to catch up !! it's taken me a bit to catch up too esp w college 😭🤧 but im getting there !! quantumania was prob my least favorite release so far of the recent mcu releases and that makes me SO SAD like JUSTICE FOR PAUL RUDD!!!!!

OMG FLOOR :(( TEEFS AND LYLLA ALL OF TJEM HAD ME SO SAD AND TERRIFIED AT RHE SAME TIME?? pls what animal was floor....... a goat?? a bunny?????? FLOOR'S MOUTH TOO LIKE WHAT'D THEY DO TO HER 😭😭😭😭😭 i didn't realize they completely gave lylla ROBOT ARMS EITHER LIKE I WAS PREPARED FOR A SEA OTTER NOT A CYBORG SEA OTTER skcneknfk okay but it's also like they're all kind of disabled but super cool and i loved teefs' little wheelchair?? even tho the high evolutionary def did some cruel fkn shit to them :')))))

AJAHHAHAHA im used to writing on my phone !! so writing on a plane's no problem for me as long as im not in writer's block yk 🤡🤡 im def worried abt my neighbors seeing the banners i make tho LMFAO

KSNFKSJDJDN TULIP I LOVE U MWAH 😚😚 I HAVE THOUGHT ABT THIS QUESTION SO MANY TIMES ??? and tbh i think if i had the time energy and resources, i would've gone into film for real bc i write so many of my fics in the view of like a movie rather than like a book, idk how to explain it skcnekkckf okok but hmmmm this one isn't tbz specifically, and idk if u stan txt or know them but

this one is another superhero au and i've honestly REALLY thought abt turning the idea into a proper novel idea, or maybe a screenplay !! I've thought abt the music and cinematic scenes for a couple plot points, but it might be a little too similar to spiderman in some instances 😅😅 but it's essentially a txt choi line au where reader is the superhero, and i don't really wanna give away too much bc im very gatekeepy w ideas that i like A LOT haha but yeah skfnskfmkf

SKFNKD I JUST REALIZED THIS IS ANOTHER SUPERHERO AU PLS 😭😭😭😭 BUT this is another one i think would be SICK as a tv show/movie, maybe it's cuz it's based off of like moon knight and ms marvel and shangchi and spiderman but i think that the quality and vibe of the storyline and characters would work so well as one?? and just the potential of lighting as symbolism in this is just TOO HIGH and osdjoenfk ugh i get so excited talking abt this

THIS ONE. THIS. ONE. would work so well as like a show or movie???? i just envision it with like taylor swift's miss americana and the heartbreak prince and im in tears at how cool it would be akcnkenfkf just the vibe of that song is what that entire thing would be like, like imagine how the sky looks JUST after the sun has set, but the glow of light is still in the sky and making it this reddish kind of color— it's called half-light and just imagine that with like stadium lights and darkened school hallways and kscnkenfk it's a time travel au, so i think those r always so much fun to depict in media and yeah :')))((

i could literally talk abt this all day every day but i almost forgot to go to class so i will sign off here LOL o7

I LOVE U 3000 TULIP 🌷🫂💖

[iwas-baby]

— ☼broken pieces

vii. un-official babysitter / date night

includes: matsukawa issei x f.reader, iwaizumi hajime x f. reader

about: where iwaizumi hajime leaves his now ex-girlfriend, unknowing she’s pregnant while matsukawa issei is left to pick up the broken pieces.

cw: fluff, slight jealously, domestic fluff, slightly angst ending, heavily unedited

a/n: i’m so sorry that it took SO long to update, hopefully i can get back into a more steady updating pace

masterlist | next part

After a week of kindergarten, your fridge had turned into an art gallery; stick figures labeled ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy’ alongside an orange blob marked as ‘Ninjin.’ All had been affectionately drawn by Kumiko, presenting them to both you and Issei with a wide and proud smile.

Though, while Kumiko was enjoying her schooldays, you were spending more time at work. Which evidently lead to being much more exhausted than usual, your feet sore and pouring yourself a second glass of wine at night to unwind.

Issei seemed to notice this, trying to plan out a way to give the two of you some time off. Besides, it had been a while since you two had had a date night. He wanted it to be special and more romantic than your past dates. More importantly, though, he wanted it to be a surprise.

The black haired man sat in his office, staring at the family photo that sat at his desk. It was a slow day, meaning it was the perfect time to plan out the date, except the first thing he needed to do was to sort out who would look after your beloved daughter.

He started by calling Makki, who, surprisingly, had gotten a job as a delivery boy for some chain restaurant. Meaning, he wouldn’t be able to watch Kumiko. Issei grumbled as he hung up, losing the man he’d dubbed his ‘Official Babysitter.’

Next in line was Emiko, although Issei doubted that she would be able to, considering her grandmother was in poor health and that any day she’d be leaving for her village in Kyoto to take care of her.

Sighing, Issei rubbed his eyes, he only had one other person in mind but he didn’t want to make plans without you and he didn’t want to give up the surprise. Chewing on his lip, he guilty punched in the digits of a certain person’s phone number.

“Hello?”

“Hey Hajime, how’s it going?” He hummed, tapping his fingers against the wooden desk before leaning back in his office chair.

“Uh, good.” The other man awkwardly responded. “How are you guys, is Kumiko enjoying school.”

“She is, she is,” his voice was distant, trying to figure out how he was going to phrase his question. “I’m going to get straight to the point. I know you and Y/N have arranged when you’re going to next see Kumi, but I wanna take her out tomorrow night and I need someone to babysit.”

“Oh.” Was Hajime’s slow reply. “Look, I mean I don’t-- are you sure you want me?” Issei could tell that Iwaizumi was still getting in his own head about that day at the park.

“Yeah, besides it’ll give you a chance to actually bond with her,maybe with things she likes,” Issei laughed a bit at the joke. Yet, he paused, pressing his lips together, a bit hesitant, “I’ll let you in on a little secret: if you wanna win her over, bring her those bourbon fettuccine, y’know the peachy gummies, those are her favourite right now.”

“Okay. I will, and Issei?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks for calling me.” Issei silently sighed again, hearing someone knock at the door.

“No worries, man. I’ll see you tomorrow at 6:30?” Iwaizumi agreed from the other end of the line, leaving the men to say their goodbyes as Issei welcomed in a client.

Now, he just hoped that the weather would agree with his plans.

You walked through the door, dropping your purse at the door, you’d been working overtime which meant Issei was already home with your daughter.

The exhausted look on your face soon diminished as you heard the light and cheery footsteps that belonged to Kumiko. She ran to you, a bright smile tugging at her lips as he engulfed you in a hug, wrapping her arms around your legs.

Issei was soon to follow, your pet cat in between his legs as he walked over to give you a kiss.

“Ew,” Kumiko whined, covering her eyes which made the two of you laugh.

“Kumi, take Ninjin and play with that new laser toy.” Issei told her as she scurried away, taking the orange tabby with her.

Now that it was just the two of you, Issei planted yet another kiss on your soft lips, whispering against them: “I have a surprise for you.” To which you raised an eyebrow. Issei’s hands moved down your body, giving you a little squeeze.

“Go and put on something nice, I’m taking you out.” He smiled, clapping his hands, “and before you say anything, I’ve already found a babysitter for Kumiko.”

You smiled, giving him yet another kiss in thanks before rushing off towards your shared bedroom to find something to wear, although Issei hadn’t told you the exact location of this surprise date.

After trying on a number of dresses, you finally landed on one that complimented both your skin tone and body shape, slowly walking out with a matching purse, biting your lip and waiting for his response.

Only, as you stepped out into the hallway, there wasn’t just one man there, there were two. Hajime was talking with his hands, as Issei gave him instructions. Was this really who he’d picked out to watch your daughter?

In the midst of your mental panic, Issei looked up, eyes widened and a grin forming as he saw you. He left Hajime for a second, wrapping an arm around your waist and kissing the crown of your head, “you look lovely, baby.”

You said your thanks, still eyeing Hajime as if he were a threat, only for the shorter man to scratch the back of his neck muttering, “yeah, you look nice.”

“So,” you tried to change the subject, trying to ignore the compliment from your ex-boyfriend, “has Issei gone over everything you need to do?”

Hajime nodded, listing off everything from her bedtime, to what to do if she gets hungry in the middle of the night. As he kept going, the worries that plagued your brain slowly disappeared as you sighed. You knew you could trust Hajime, but you really did wish Issei would’ve asked you. Though, it was nice of him to organize a surprise for you.

“Have fun you two,” Hajime said, waving you off at the door as Kumiko stood behind his leg, wishing you goodbye.

“This place is incredible,” you exclaimed, with stars in your eyes, you stared at the view from the cliff side. Issei had driven you out of town to look at the evening sky along with a picnic he’d laid out for you.

“Only the best for you.” He poured you something to drink, smiling. Now in the midst of eating, you watched as he looked at you with such amusement in his eyes “I’m just glad you like it.”

With blankets around you, bringing the two of you closer, the sun had almost completely set, “of course.”

Resting your head against his shoulder, you rested your eyes. “Thank you, Issei, I really needed this.” You reminded him how much you loved him as he returned the kind words.

The moment was followed with a moment's silence as your boyfriend let out a sigh. “There’s something I need to ask you.”

Hajime waved the package of gummies in front of the little girl's face, watching how she lit up, and squealed out of happiness.

“But you can’t tell your mother about this, okay?” She nodded her head quickly in agreement as Hajime opened it up for her, luring her over to the couch, hoping that a movie would put her to sleep.

Kumiko practically licked her lips, putting her hands out as Hajime placed the candy only on her open palms.

“This stuff probably isn’t good for you,” you mentioned not even wanting to look at the ingredients. One thing he hated about all his years of study was that he found it almost impossible to enjoy any sorts of snacks without a guilty conscience.

“I know,” Kumiko hummed, munching down as Hajime only sighed, reaching for the remote. “Can we watch the Princess Ballerina movie?”

“Have you seen it before?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then why don’t we watch something new?” Truth be told, Hajime didn’t want to watch said ‘princess ballerina movie’ and was praying that Kumiko would be able to reason with his logic and pick something else.

“Okay,” she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout. Yet, Hajime didn’t miss the words she muttered under her breath, “Uncle Hiro lets me watch Princess Ballerina.” Though, she didn’t stay frowning for long as her babysitter fed her more candy.

Scrolling through the streaming sight, Hajime’s lips tugged into smiles at the selection. He was surprised it was even there: “Godzilla” from 1998, a movie he had watched with his own father when he was younger, maybe just a bit older than Kumiko herself.

“How about this one?” He asked.

“Is it scary?”

Hajime twisted his lips, not sure how to answer, maybe his judgement had been a bit off that day as he shrugged, “not really, there’s just a lot of fighting.”

With his promising words, Kumiko agreed to the film, leaning closer towards him as the movie began.

Although the movie wasn’t even near half way through when Hajime found himself yawning, the movie was much less exciting as he remembered it. Maybe it was just the out of date special effects or underwhelming acting, but there wasn’t the same amount of thrill that was once there.

That was when he felt something at his side, peering down to see Kumiko hiding her face in his shirt, gripping onto him tightly.

Instantly Hajime panicked, his heart only breaking when he heard a small sniffle from the girl. His hands went to pat her head, gently peeling her off of him, looking at her puffy cheeks.

“You lied, Iwaizumi, it’s scary.” His heart quickened, patting her back, trying to sush her not to cry.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright, look it’s just a movie, there’s nothing to be scared off.”

“How do you know? What if Godzilla eats my school?”

“He won’t.” Hajime stared down into Kimiko’s watery eyes, pressing his lips together, “I promise.”

Slightly unconvinced, the young girl nodded, though she was quick to wrap her arms around Hajime’s torso (or at least as much as she could reach) while burying her head into his shirt.

Feeling his heart swell, the trainer smoothing over her small head, bringing one of his own arms around her. “If Godzilla shows up to eat your school, I promise I’ll fight him myself, okay?”

“Okay,” she sniffled, while a wave of relief washed over Hajime, muttering a small ‘but don’t tell your mother about this.’

The pair proceeded to munch down on more snacks, while Kumiko insisted on giving her babysitter a makeover, bringing out all her barrets and princess jewelry to adorn Hajime with.

So, the grown man sat there, a bright sticky lip gloss against his lips, butterfly clips in his messy hair and around his neck a handful of plastic necklaces. Yet, he couldn't protest because his heart swelled at the sight of Kumiko’s bright smile, and who was he to ruin her fun?

The night went on, no text from Issei to let him know when you'd be coming home. Signing, the television only continued to play in the background, some cartoons with cats Hajime wasn’t familiar with. He tilted his head back against the couch, feeling the weight of Kumiko leaning against him, snoring soundly. He figured he should take her to her bed and tuck her in soon, but he was so tired, he could only imagine what you and Issei went through every day.

He also couldn’t help but think that this could’ve been his life if his cards had been dealt out a little differently. He only frowned: he’d missed everything, first steps, first words, hell, he’d even missed the day she was born. How could he make up for all the missed birthdays? Hajime was always taught not to be jealous but looking at the precious girl beside him, how could he not be envious? He’d give up his life as he knew it so quickly to make sure he would never have to miss anymore birthdays.

His eyes closed momentarily and he tried to picture it: you and him, Kumiko by your side, walking up in the morning to her little footsteps rushing in while she wiggled between the two of you. He felt empty at the thought of it, missing something that was never really his. You weren’t his, it made him want to scream.

Quickly, his thoughts were interrupted by the creaking at the door, mixed with the shushed adults stumbling through. Kumiko didn’t budge, but Hajime realized it was time to move her to her bed.

“Hey,” Hajime greeted quietly, easily carrying the girl in his arms, “she’s been asleep for a little bit, I’ll go tuck her in.”

There was a bright grin on your face, clearly the date had gone well. Another twitch in Hajime’s heart, as cheesy as it may seem, all he wanted was for that to be him, making you smile.

As Hajime laid Kumiko down beneath her sheets, he felt her grip onto his sleeve, unconsciously not wanting to let go. The man smirked softly, pulling her tiny hand off and laying it down on her side, making sure to tuck her in tightly.

Leaving her nightlight on, Hajime met the two of you out in the hall, giddy smiles plastered on both your faces.

“So, how’d the date go?” He questions, awkwardly putting his hands in his pockets, almost forgetting about all the accessories tangled in his hair.

Though, his expression began to drop as he watched you lift up your arm, the palm of your hand facing your chest as something caught his attention on the dim lighting.

“Good,” you breathed out, “we’re engaged!”

taglist: @luvrinnie @bakugouswh0r3 @milkteeboba @kamalymaly @kameko-ko @tatiquichi @fandomtrashpandasposts @witcherydotcom @literaleftist @its-the-aerieljeane @daphnxy @paintedstarres @sunahyejin @lilith412426 @otomefan @yoitsseulgi @iheartkuroorin @boosyboo9206 @bbyhaji @elianetsantana @asaitashi @erinoikawa @borpcorp @asdfghjkl7things @emazzello @tanzaniiite @whorefornoodles @hornime @officialfictionalwreck @on-crows-wings @d0llpie @seleselenge @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @putmeinyourdeathnote @iznui @bluepancakemix [closed]

© all work belongs to iwas-baby on tumblr, please do not plagiarize, repost or translate anywhere

[vicious-vixxxen]

SugarDaddy!Enji X SugarBaby!Male Reader <3

Not entirely sure where this came from, but couldn’t help myself once it started :3 nothing crazy, and kinda short, so apologies for that, but I hope you guys enjoy it! Prompt fills should be out later this month: In the midst of a move, so slow going getting fills, out, but hopefully soon <3 thanks for the patience, and the continued support. Much love to you guys! Enjoy :3  Sugar Daddy!Enji x Sugar Baby!Male Reader

 (Sort of, kind of, it is but also not entirely the focus)

“What would you do without me, dad,” Fuyumi sighed, though her smile was palpable, even if Enji couldn’t see it- as she’d stepped behind him to lint roll his dinner jacket. Enji adjusting his watch, and catching the time, puffing his chest up a bit as he shooed his daughter back, and glanced at himself in the full length mirror once more, briefly. Enji would lie down and accept the sweet, bitter kiss from the grim reaper, before he ever told his daughter just where he’d found his date from. But, and as hard as it was to so much as admit it, Enji did know when to wave the white flag of defeat, and after three hours of trying to pick his own outfit, he’d shuffled off to her room and mumbled the bare minimum about having a date from an app tonight. Fuyumi had freaked out for all of ten minutes, before growing startlingly serious, and rifling through his closet for articles of clothing Enji had no idea were even there. And now...well, he looked more presentable than he had in ages. Granted, his wardrobe consisted of his hero suit ninety nine percent of the time, but still. Bidding Fuyumi goodbye was a whole other ordeal, but soon enough, Enji found himself- or rather, his driver, pulling up along the curb of the restaurant he’d asked you to. Not even a moment to gather himself, or suck in a few lungful's of crisp evening air, before his eyes landed on you. Your dazzling smile so bright, Enji had to keep himself from squinting, as you hurried over, and without so much as a hello first, threw your arms over the hero’s broad shoulders, and brought him down into a tight, warm hug. Enji squeezed back awkwardly, though your cologne was mouthwatering, and the feel of someone wanting to be in his arms almost made the older man dizzy, as he pulled back, and smoothed out the front of his jacket. Just to busy his hands, as you eyed him up, and your smile grew softer. More intimate. “It’s so nice to meet, finally. In person.” You laughed, gesturing for Enji to follow you to the front door, as there was already a man waiting to escort you back to your table. Well, Enji thought. Here goes nothing. 

“You’re nervous,” you pointed out quietly- gently, reaching across the table to lay one of your hands over Enji’s much larger one: meeting the older man's gaze as he stopped jiggling his leg, and focused his full attention on you. “Observant,” Enji huffed, though not unkindly, as he took a deep breath, and reached up with his free hand to tug at the neck of his sweater. Cheeks flush, both from the heat within himself, and his nerves. You were much more...handsome? Pretty? Drop dead gorgeous?- than your profile pictures had given you credit for, and even then you were one of the most beautiful specimens he’d ever laid his eyes on, so that was really saying something. “I try to be,” you laughed, bringing your other hand around to sip at your champagne, before laying your glass-chilled hand over the other covering Enji’s, to clasp them on either side- just holding his hand, and smiling. Awkwardness creeping back up Enji’s neck as his throat worked around the words he couldn’t quite find. “I could talk, if you’d like? And you can interject whenever you’d like. No pressure to, if you’re not ready. I could probably talk enough for the both of us.” You we’re trying to cut the man some slack, bless his big confused heart. Your online chats hadn’t divulged much, though you did get the gist from Enji. Bad relationship with his children. Not too close to anyone of his own age. He was lonely. And so were you. You were also broke as fuck, but all thoughts of monetary value flew out the window the second you hugged the man when you’d arrived. Seen the restaurant he’d asked you to; and the private balcony dinner he’d arranged. Enji was trying so hard, and it made your heart beat a little too fast. Your smile almost too bright.  “That...would be preferable, thank you,” Enji replied gruffly- though he cleared his throat after like he’d done it by accident. It only made you smile wider “Of course. A very considerate daddy you are,” you teased, referencing the website you met on jokingly- or at least, half jokingly- though the way Enji’s blush deepened had you stuttering around your first few sentences- glancing down suddenly as Enji turned his hand palm upward- holding your hands in return, as you laughed, suddenly, and began speaking smoothly. Squeezing the man’s hands in silent thanks, as he listened intently to you rambling on about your life. Where you went to school, what instrument you played, your favorite movies, and books. He really /listened/, grunting every so often to show you he was- and even interjecting with questions every so often; Enji really wanted to know about you. He wanted to listen. You’d never quite had anyone like that before. Not even close friends who cared enough to really listen to you. Your chest felt tight suddenly as you began touching on your most recent life happenings. Pausing slowly, voice getting quiet as you held Enji’s gaze, you lifted the older man’s hand to press a kiss to his palm. Snickering into it as Enji’s flames burst across his face at the contact. “Ah-Ahem. What uh...what’s that for?” He questioned, voice husky as he turned away slightly. Embarrassed at his flames for the first time since he was a pre-teen. “Just thanks, for listening,” you admitted with a shrug, kissing his palm again, even softer this time. Enji turned then, pure honesty in his gaze as he gathered his courage to speak clearly, “I could listen to you speak...for hours, if I’m being honest. You have..a lovely voice.” “Ah,” You nodded, your cheeks just as flushed as the hero’s as you swirled your champagne in its glass gently. Missing completely the way Enji’s face fell, and he withdrew his hands from atop the table, and back into his lap. The rest of the night went pretty much the same, though you noticed Enji seemed slightly more reserved, and gruff than before. Still just as attentive, still nearly mute, just more...withdrawn. Less open then he’d become as you spoke. It wasn’t until the date had come to an end, and he was escorting you out of the restaurant, and to the car he’d called to take you home, did you realize why. “Here you go.” Enji spoke quietly, yet clearly, crowding you in slightly so the valet couldn’t see the wad of cash he was holding out to you. Crisp bills neatly folded into a money clip, engraved with Enji’s initials. “Oh.” You’d almost forgotten by this point that this was sort of part of it. Or...well, it was the whole point, really. Or had been. “That’s….quite a lot of money,” You thought aloud, frowning at the way Enji’s brows drew down tightly, and he thumped the money into your chest gently. “I apologize for the evening. Please, just take it. It’s triple the amount we originally spoke of. Compensation for the poor company I’ve been.” You froze, staring between Enji’s eyes, that wouldn’t meet your own, and the cash being held out to you, Enji’s grip so tight on it his knuckles were white. /Oh/. So that’s what he thought. Earlier in the evening, your reaction to his sincerity, he’d read into it wrong. ….Sweet old man. “Silly daddy,” You sighed, smiling despite the situation- reaching up to tug out one solitary bill from the stack, before pressing Enji’s fist back into his own chest with one hand- the other snaking up and around the man’s neck, to ease him down to your level gently. “I can’t say I’ve ever had a more wonderful time with anyone before in my whole life. You listened, and saw me. And only me. For hours. I don’t think I can properly describe how absolutely wonderful that was. Truly. Silly,” You laughed again, watching the way Enji’s shoulders hunched, and tensed, a myriad of emotions flitting across his face, before he settled on bewilderment it seemed. The tiniest flames danced across his cheeks as you leaned up on your toes, brushing noses briefly, before capturing Enji’s lips in a soft, chaste kiss. Hand carding up and into the soft hair at the nape of Enji’s neck, scraping your nails through his scalp gently as your lips began to move against one another. Unsure, and hesitant, before that quickly melted away, leaving only the deepest desire, and want. A soft, needy noise leaving your mouth, that Enji swallowed up happily. Panting into your face as he pulled away, breath a wash of champagne, and the chocolate cake you’d both had for dessert. “Tip...for your driver,” You breathed, slightly dazed as you fell back into the car, feet firmly on the ground now- tapping your pocket where you’d slid the bill from the stack he’d held out to you at first. “I...should get going. But if I don’t have a text from you with the details of our next date when I get home, i’ll be one very disappointed boy,” You admitted quietly, cupping Enji’s cheek briefly- thumb sliding across his plump bottom lip, before you opened the back door of the car, and slid in. Wishing Enji a goodnight, before the door was shut, and you were being driven off towards home. Enji checked the time briefly as you pulled away, and once more when he finally was able to get his legs working again- nearly an hour had passed, in which he’d tried and failed multiple times to collect himself. Had that really just happened? The feel of his lips twisting up into a smile felt strange, and foreign for the pro hero. And as he walked home, to allow himself a chance to breathe finally, he began to laugh. Cupping his own face, and touching his lips, an incredulous laugh bubbled from deep within him as he threw his head back and allowed it to overtake him. Smiling in a way he hadn’t in...so, so long. Pulling his phone out, he immediately began texting you, checking your schedule for the next night, before suggesting going to a play. A quiet, private balcony just for the two of you. Close seats. Beautiful music. He could watch your reactions under the bright stage lights. It sounded fantastic. A text from Fuyumi chimed into his phone as he was nearly home, and still smiling like a love struck teenager. So? How was it!?-FT Enji sighed heavily, catching himself in a nearby shop window- looking too happy to be real, and recalling your words from earlier. Wonderful.-ET It was wonderful, Fuyumi.-ET

[the-insomniac-emporium]

I love your writing.

if it's not too much trouble may i make a request? I'm thinking the Dimitrescu women meeting and/or courting a fellow immortal.

the circumstances of the immortal's powers and possession of immorality are entirely up to you. I just like the idea of them meeting someone they could literally spend forever with...because they deserve it ❤

I wasn't sure if you wanted a story or headcanons? I went with HCs, here, but if you wanted more of a drabble or whatever just lemme know and I'll write something like that.

Also, I got excited and carried away so this has the whole Dimitrescu family, plus shorter ones for both Mother Miranda and Donna. Admittedly Alcina's is also a little on the shorter side? I tried to write everything that came to mind, but I am kinda tired right now, sorry. Might reblog this and add some more later.

(Under read-more for length)

Cassandra:

Tries (and fails) to hide her excitement. Mortality is one of the bigger things that has made her keep her distance to others, at least in the past. Every Maiden she’s ever been the slightest bit smitten with, up until this point, has been incredibly fragile. Seeing as she’s not exactly the softest person, one can easily imagine why that would be a turn off for her. But now that’s no longer a problem!

On the other had… having an immortal partner gives Cassandra pause. Why? Because what if they breakup? Normally, she can just, ahem, “dispose” of any exes (regardless of how much it hurts) so she doesn’t have to see them/deal with them anymore. If that’s not an option, she’ll definitely take longer than usual to do anything about her feelings. She wants to be sure, 100%, before she gets in over her head. Chances are she won’t hold back for as long as she wants though.

Likely to have a loud, messy confession. She’ll have been avoiding you for a few days, always ducking out of whatever rooms you enter, leaving you both hurt and confused. After enlisting the help of her sisters, you’ll be able to corner her outside. She’ll tell you, under no uncertain circumstances, to leave her alone. But you’ll refuse, demanding an explanation.

“I thought we had something. I thought you cared,” you’ll snap, eyes watering. “If that’s changed… if I was wrong, just tell me. I’ll leave and I’ll never come back.” Cue thunder and raining (because tropes) and Cassandra dramatically pulling you into a kiss, holding you so tightly you think you might bruise. Then she’s demanding that you stay, refusing to apologize but making it clear just how much she does care.

Being immortal, you’re not as defenseless as some of Cassandra’s past interests. Naturally, she doesn’t get quite as protective as she normally would. She’ll still have your back no matter what, ready to fight by your side against any foe, and will probably consider doing so a “fun bonding activity”. Oh, some lycans are encroaching on Dimitrescu territory? Time to go destroy them, as a power couple!

Despite having all the time in the world, Cassandra won’t change much of her actual courting behavior, nor the rate at which things advance. She’s still gonna get handsy fairly early on, still gonna “rah!” at you in the hallways, and still going to struggle with her jealousy.

Immortality Compatibility: I can see Cassandra going for another vampire (or vampire adjacent) creature, or someone demonic. She likes her lovers a bit rough, with some nice bite to their personalities. If you’ve got sharp teeth, or claws, or glowing eyes? Oh boy, she’s gonna be making heart eyes at you all the time.

Bela:

If your immortality isn’t immediately obvious, Bela is over the moon with joy when she finds out. Her eyes will go wide for a moment, before she tries to seem calm (so as to not freak you out), but her heart is pounding. This is what she’s been hoping for. As much as Mother Miranda has done for her family, there’s no guarantee that she’d be willing to give more. Even if Miranda granted Bela’s lover her “gift”, there was no telling what the results would be, or if the lover would survive. Now that there’s no need for such a transformation, it’s far easier for Bela to imagine herself in love (and eventually be in love).

Slow-burn romance over a decade or longer, oops. Doesn’t even necessarily mean to take things so slowly, just doesn’t feel a need to rush things, preferring that they develop organically. With both of you having unlimited time, you’re both used to working on a very large timescale. Maidens watching the two of you probably place bets on how long it’ll take you to hold hands for the first time. Everyone knows it’s coming, but no matter how much Cassandra and Daniela complain, Bela refuses to jump into things. By the time the two of you are officially together, you’re probably madly in love with each other.

More protective than Cassandra, if only because she knows just how rare you are. Immortal or not, you likely still have a weakness, and Bela will do everything in her power to make sure no one else knows what it is. If applicable, she will also ensure she has a countermeasure readily available. For example: If you were weak to fire, she’d make sure that the castle keeps extinguishers handy, just in case. Though they should probably already do that. Not that the Dimitrescu family cares much for OSHA compliance.

Somehow grows more in love with you with every passing year, and makes sure that you know this. Whether you’ve been together for one year or one century (because in this house we ignore canon), she’s always performing little acts of love, giving constant reminders of how strongly she feels. Gifts, special dates, book recommendations, etc.

Immortality Compatibility: Bela seems like the type to go for someone with a calming presence, and perhaps somewhat of a contrast to herself. I can picture her with someone somewhat angelic, or druidic, someone very in tune with nature. She’d love to feed deer with you and relax in the forest! Or lay against a tree by your side, listening to you talk about various microorganisms for hours at a time.

Daniela:

Practically tackles you when she finds out/connects the dots. This is just like one of her romance novels, where a lonely (attractive as fuck) immortal spends years in isolation before finally meeting the love of their life, who they get to spend the rest of eternity with. Absolutely ecstatic about the whole situation. Won’t stop kissing you and pulling you close, rambling about how great it’s gonna be to spend your lives together. Honestly? Kind of overwhelming. You might have to remind her a few times that you don’t have to rush into things, considering you have all the time in the world.

Introduces you to people as her “super cool/rad immortal life partner”. Genuinely cannot bring herself to not brag about you. If her sisters haven’t found someone like you yet, you can bet that Daniela will tease them about it all the time (much to their annoyance). If Momma Alcina doesn’t, though? Dani will keep her thoughts to herself, thank you very much (being grounded at her age does not impress the s/o).

Tries not to show it, but she’s actually very nervous. You’re immortal! You’ve probably seen a lot of shit (she certainly has)! Worries about keeping you interested in her, though she would never admit it. This tends to lead to her performing ridiculous acts to showcase her affection, regardless of the cost or, like, whether or not you’d even enjoy whatever she has planned. In order to counter her anxiety, you’ll want to reassure her whenever you can, and give her plenty of “I love you”s.

Strikes a decent balance between Cassandra’s nonchalant attitude and Bela’s protectiveness. Will defend you if you need it, playing up the romantic aspect, but also entirely willing to hide behind you in a scary situation.

Immortality Compatibility: Having probably read Twilight… Dani would date a werewolf, as long as they weren’t the smelly kind. Also interested in a sort of “magical”/elemental type, especially if their powers are influenced by emotions. In other words, if someone flirts with her in front of you, and your response is to subconsciously light your hands/the other person on fire? She thinks that’s hot, pun intended.

Alcina:

“Oh? Interesting,” she’d say, smiling softly (and trying to ignore the heat rushing to her face). Similarly to Cassandra, she’d try to play it off, not wanting to seem too excited. And, well, she’s not as excited as any of her daughters are. After all, she’s had more time than them to “get used” to the idea of outliving any potential romantic interests. So, she’s not exactly desperate for a relationship, even with someone she could spend an eternity with.

That being said, if she is romantically interested in them, she’s very relieved. Outliving a loved one can be incredibly traumatizing (fuck you c*pcom, you know what you did), and knowing that you’re safe (or at least safer than most) brings her no small amount of comfort.

Also, just glad to have another person close to her age around. Her daughters are somewhat stuck as young adults, and I imagine Alcina would want someone who gained immortality a little later in life, such as herself, as opposed to, ya know, reminding her of her children. That probably goes without saying. Hopefully.

More so than her daughters, Alcina would change her level of protectiveness depending on her s/o’s power level. If you’re a shapeshifter who can also turn into a big ass dragon? Then she’s not going to coddle you. If you’re immortal but still vulnerable, then she’s going to do her best to keep you safe, even going so far as to enlist the assistance of her daughters. “If you see a single Maiden growing mistletoe, or bringing some in from the village, let me know immediately,” or something like that, depending on your weakness.

Immortality Compatibility: Definitely would want someone in a situation similar to herself, having once been truly human, only to be “elevated” by something. Bonus points if you’re another disciple of Miranda, double bonus points if Miranda specifically “made” you to be Alcina’s boo/honey/darling/dear.

Bonus! Mother Miranda:

Oh god finally someone who won’t leave her (can’t leave her). No one can take you away from her, and that’s a relief that she’s been craving for over a century. Even if romance isn’t high on her priority list, she welcomes it with open arms, glad to have someone by her side through all of life’s chaos.

Admittedly slow to trust at first, probably just using you as a tool at first. But prove yourself enough, show that your devotion is more than just misdirected self-interest, and she’ll start to warm up to you. Forming a real relationship would likely take a couple decades, similar to with Bela. Once you are together, however, the two of you are inseparable in all matters.

You’d be her #1 follower, most trusted adviser, and the only person allowed to understand 100% of her thoughts and motives. While Miranda wouldn’t allow you to be seen as the same level as her (sorry), you’d still be a legend among the villagers. To them, you’re Mother Miranda’s champion, the epitome of a devoted follower that they all aspire to emulate. Not that they know the two of you are a couple, though.

Immortality Compatibility: No gimmicks, no cheap tricks, she wants (and respects) a fellow scientist, someone who clawed their way through adversity and forged themselves into something indestructible. Double the interest if you did so for a similar cause to her own, as she would appreciate your ability to relate to her suffering.

Bonus! Donna:

Someone to play with! FOREVER! No more losing people she cares about, no more accidentally breaking people, no more people scrambling to leave. Now that she has you, she can finally spend some quality time with another (living?) person. Honestly her dolls (or at least Angie) are just as excited as she is. Regardless of her relations with the other three Lords, Donna much prefers the company of a lover.

For real though she’s shy as hell and you might not even realize who’s pulling the strings until you’ve been in her house for over a year. She’d probably use her powers to trap you inside, at least at first, though they’d be nice hallucinations. You’d have to treat the dolls nicely, especially Angie, before she’d let you interact with her.

Eventually you’d be allowed to leave, and you’d be given a key to return whenever you wanted to. Assuming that you do, in fact, come back, the two of you would have a very, very slow romance, if only because of Donna’s anxiety. Hand holding makes both of your faces turn beet red, seriously.

Immortality Compatibility: *chanting* GHOST GIRLFRIEND GHOST GIRLFRIEND POLTERGEIST PARTNER POLTERGEIST PARTNER WOOHOO! Something with a flexible, only-sometimes-tangible form, who absolutely could have left at any time but didn’t because they wanted to stay.

[eliemo]

Call Me When You're Sober

Summary: Remus tells Janus he loves him for the first time. Or at least...Janus thought he had.

TWs: alcohol usage in the beginning and talk about being drunk throughout, misunderstandings, hangovers

Notes: Human au, loosely based on a drawing from @underdog-arts their art is amazing go support their patreon.

Established romantic Demus/Dukeceit and background (very background) Prinxiety

“I’m not going to kiss you.”

Janus frowned, something that could probably be considered a pout with how out of it he was. He chased Remus’s mouth as the other man pulled away, one hand still carded through Janus’s hair.

His frown was definitely closer to a pout judging from the way Remus laughed out loud, eyes softening in a way anybody else rarely got to see, and Janus felt his cheeks flush even further. They’d been tinged with pink since his second drink (Remus hadn’t stopped pointing out the color in his face all night, adorably smitten by it) but at this point there was no way to blame his blush entirely on the alcohol.

“I’m not gonna kiss you, Jan,” Remus repeated, grinning insufferably when Janus slurred an illegible plea. “Not right now.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re drunk,” Remus said, moving his hands from Janus’s hair to keep him steady on the bar stool. “You won’t even remember any of this in the morning.”

“I will,” Janus protested, tongue slow and heavy in his mouth. “I always do.”

“Alright then, party animal.” Remus smirked, standing from the bar stool to drape one of Janus’s arms over his shoulder, helping him stagger to his feet. “Let’s get you home. Pat bought us an Uber.”

“But--”

“You can have a kiss when you’re sober,” Remus said, waving at a blurred shape Janus thought might be Patton. “Ok?”

Janus couldn't even make out his own reply, stumbling and leaning heavily against Remus’s side. He felt weightless, floating through the air, and it took him a moment to realize it was because Remus had picked him up and carried him out of the bar.

It felt like forever since he’d let himself get this drunk at a party before, and even longer since Remus had been the one sober enough to take care of things.

It was...nice. Really nice. Even if what rational thought he had left knew for a fact he would feel like shit tomorrow.

He was vaguely aware of Remus gently putting him in the backseat of a car and carefully following in after him, their hands loosely intertwined.

The driver said something before pulling away from the curb and driving off but Janus couldn’t make anything out, overcome by giddy exhaustion, and focused entirely on Remus.

He snorted when he caught Janus staring, and Janus knew he’d never get Remus to admit to blushing at the attention.

Janus leaned into the touch when Remus carefully framed his face, running his thumbs along his cheekbones, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

Nobody else got to see Remus like this, thoughtful and loving and gentle. It was rare, but Janus always felt honored in some way. Even if he was so drunk he could barely comprehend it.

Remus suddenly leaned closer to press a gentle kiss to Janus’s forehead, slow and careful, one hand still cupping his jaw. He pulled back, just barely lit up by the passing streetlights, gaze soft as he looked Janus over.

“I love you,” he said for the first time, and Janus’s heart soared. “And I know you won’t remember this tomorrow.”

His face was beginning to ache with how much he was grinning, replaying the words over and over again in his head despite the fog weighing him down. Janus fell into Remus’s chest and shut his eyes to the sound of the car’s engine, trusting Remus to get them home safe.

---

Janus unfortunately did remember the night before, blurred and distant as it was, and that last conversation with Remus was the only thing keeping Janus from swearing off alcohol for the rest of his life.

His head was pounding, the light filtering in from the window felt like someone was poking knives in his skull, and every time he tried to sit up every single bone in his body violently protested, stomach lurching dangerously.

But he couldn’t even be annoyed at any of that right now.

Remus had said he loved him for the first time last night, holding his face like the most precious thing in the world, and that was the only thing on Janus’s mind.

He’d known Remus loved him. Or at least, he’d assumed. Remus tended to show love every way except verbal. It had taken some getting used to, insecurities Janus refused to voice always making him doubt that Remus actually felt the same, despite them dating for months and being friends for longer.

But Remus had said it last night. Remus had kissed Janus’s forehead and looked at him with soft fondness and told him he loved him.

He loved Janus.

And he had assumed Janus would be too drunk to remember, which meant he got to mercilessly tease Remus for the rest of the day about it.

Janus forced himself out of bed, noting with a small smile the water bottle that had been left on the bedside table. He could hear some commotion from the other room, probably Remus looking for food in the kitchen.

He sipped at the water, untangled himself from the sheets and slowly stumbled to his dresser to get a change of clothes. As uncomfortable as sleeping in jeans was, he appreciated Remus not changing him into pajamas while he was passed out.

When he felt human enough to leave his bedroom, wrapped up in sweats and a flannel, Janus slipped out of his bedroom and padded down the hall where Remus was sprawled out on Janus’s couch with a half eaten poptart on the coffee table.

“You could have slept in the bed, you know.”

Remus grinned up at him, disheveled and probably a bit sore. “Yeah well, you smelled gross.”

Janus knew Remus would never admit he just hadn’t been sure he was allowed, if Janus would be comfortable with someone sleeping next to him without clear permission.

Remus had a brass sense of humor, he was forward and grossly affectionate in public, but he was always so careful with Janus. There were so many unspoken questions, silent searches for approval, and private check-ins.

“You’re cute,” Janus said, grinning when Remus stuck his tongue out. “Do I get my kiss now?”

Something unreadable flashed in Remus’s eyes, and Janus assumed it was the realization Janus hadn’t been drunk enough to completely forget the night before.

It was gone in an instant, and Remus pushed himself up off the couch to shuffle across the small room, gather Janus in his arms, pull him close and kiss him just like he’d wanted the night before.

Remus pulled away with a wink that made Janus scowl playfully, and made his way to the connected kitchen. “I can’t figure out how to work your coffee maker.”

“If you break anything else in my kitchen I’m killing you.” Remus had managed to break his old toaster when they’d first started dating, and Janus never planned on letting him live it down. “I’ll make you some.”

Remus jumped up on the counter, watching Janus refill the pitcher in the sink and grab the coffee grinds from the counter, eventually distracted by scrolling through his phone while the pot brewed.

“Hey,” Janus called when it was done, smirking when Remus hummed nonchalantly. “Did you tell me you loved me last night?”

Remus jumped and nearly dropped his phone, fumbling for a second before managing to put it down on the counter, hands ridiculously unsteady.

Janus expected the momentary surprise, but he didn’t expect Remus to bark out a panicked laugh and shake his head.

“What? No.” He scoffed, swinging his legs over the side of the counter. “I didn’t say that. Jeez how much did you drink, Jan?”

Oh.

He’d been ready for a bit of embarrassed denial, some teasing and flirting that had become normal between them. Last night had made Janus stupidly happy- happier than he remembered being in months- but Remus had jumped straight to denying it, like it was the most ridiculous thing in the entire world.

He suddenly felt cold, and a little bit like someone had shoved him to the floor. He quickly averted his gaze so Remus wouldn’t see how much that had hurt.

“Right,” he said, sliding Remus his mug of coffee. “Yeah, duh. Sorry. I was...super out of it.”

“It’s cool.”

Janus didn’t know what he was supposed to say now. There was a lump growing in his throat, something a little more crushing than simple disappointment weighing down on his chest.

“I’m...gonna make some food,” he said after a few seconds of unnatural silence. “We still have those frozen waffles, you want any?”

“Sure.”

Remus was being abnormally curt and dismissive, and Janus could practically see him searching for an excuse to escape the tense atmosphere that had never existed between them before.

“I, uh, have a change of clothes in my bag,” Remus said, waving a hand at the hallway. “I’m gonna go get dressed.”

Janus nodded, not trusting himself to speak as he went to rummage through the freezer to hopefully distract himself with making breakfast once Remus disappeared.

This wasn’t a big deal. He could blame his suddenly blurry vision on the hangover.

He’d...really thought he remembered last night. He could still feel Remus’s hands in his hair and that stupidly sweet smile on his lips when he refused to kiss him when he was drunk.

He remembered the pink blush on his nose when he’d said those three words, quiet like they were in their own little world that night. The scene had been replaying over and over in his head until he fell asleep, and had picked right back up when Janus had woken up.

It had felt so real. He’d thought...he’d thought it was real. He thought he’d finally be able to say it freely without worrying about moving too fast for Remus.

It was possible it could have all been a dream, but...

But Remus had answered so quickly. He’d been so adamant about how he hadn’t told Janus he loved him. Like he would never even consider doing such a thing.

Which...which was fine. Janus wasn’t going to hold Remus’s feelings against him, and he certainly wasn’t going to make a big deal about it.

He’d just been mistaken assuming he and Remus wanted the same kind of relationship. Janus loved Remus and Remus...didn’t. Janus wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted, but he’d made his feelings on the matter pretty clear today.

Janus had just been too blind to realize it after months of spending nearly every waking moment together.

That was fine. It was a stupid misunderstanding. Janus wasn’t going to cry like a heartbroken idiot just because Remus didn’t love him back.

He hissed out a curse under his breath when almost immediately there were tears slipping down his cheeks, and Janus pressed a hand firmly to his mouth to muffle the sobs that tried to escape.

He was so stupid. It wasn’t like this was the first time this had happened, Janus figured he would have been able to see the signs by now. People just didn’t want him like that.

He’d just...really thought Remus was different.

He didn’t think he would ever laugh off the idea of loving Janus.

Janus wrapped his free arm around himself, swaying slightly in the middle of the kitchen as he stared blankly at the toaster, trying and failing to get himself to suck it up and stop crying.

He was being ridiculous- shaking with the force of trying to hold back his sobbing, blinded by endless tears gathering in his eyes and flowing down his cheeks- and he needed to get a hold of himself before-

“Woah, what the fuck?”

Janus jumped, refusing to look at Remus standing in the hallway as he quickly tried to wipe his tears away with the palms of his hands. “Do you want syrup?”

He heard Remus move closer and kept his head down, staring resolutely at the kitchen tiles until he could see socked feet step into the room.

He still didn’t touch Janus, still so focused on his comfort (was any of it even for Janus’s comfort? Maybe Remus just hadn’t wanted to touch him this whole time) but he moved as close as he dared and lowered his voice.

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying,” Janus said automatically, choking on another hiccuping sob. “I just...have a headache. Stupid hangover.”

“Oh.” Remus hesitated, and Janus could feel him staring. “Did you take an ibuprofen? I can get you a couple from the bathroom. And like...gatorade. You still have some, right?”

Janus nodded and took a shaky breath, hating the way the tears still wouldn’t stop falling. “Yeah. In the fridge.”

“Good,” Remus said, and Janus still couldn’t bring himself to look him in the eyes. “I don’t want you hurting.”

“I’m fine. Just drank too much.”

“You were pretty drunk.”

“I don’t remember last night at all,” Janus said, more bitter than was probably necessary. “Clearly.”

It was enough to give Remus pause, plunging the kitchen into heavy silence. Janus crossed his arms and risked a glance up when he awkwardly cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. Anyways, gatorade—”

“I can get it.”

“No, I got it,” Remus said, and Janus watched warily as he pulled out a chair from the table. “Sit down.”

Janus hunched his shoulders, tears still sliding down his jaw just as fast as before, but he did as Remus said and shakily made his way over to the table, lowering himself carefully until he could curl up in his chair.

Remus returned almost immediately with a bottle of blue gatorade from the fridge and two painkillers from the bathroom medicine cabinet. He handed them over silently, standing awkwardly by the table while Janus took them.

Janus did his best, carefully swallowing the pills and sipping the gatorade with shaky hands. But he couldn’t get himself to stop crying, or even slow his tears, wracked with seemingly never ending sobs no matter how hard he tried to get a hold of himself. Remus standing there just made it so much worse.

He saw Remus crouch down to Janus’s level, breaths only coming out more frantic when Remus frowned and moved to hold Janus’s face in his hands.

“C’mon,” Remus said softly, brushing Janus’s cheeks with his thumbs. “What’re you crying for?”

Janus couldn’t answer. Remus sounded so gentle and adoring and it only made him cry harder, choking on a pathetic whimper as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“Hey, hey, you’re ok.” Remus kept wiping Janus’s tears, his touch light and grounding. “It’s just me, Jan. You can tell me.”

Janus shook his head, weakly clutching at Remus’s sleeves. “N-no, I’m just...I’m being an idiot. Go get your waffles.”

Remus didn’t move, and Janus could practically feel him staring. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m being stupid,” Janus insisted, because he was. He knew he was. “I sw-swear I just...you don’t want to deal with this right now.”

“I’ll be fine, Jan. Tell me what happened.”

Remus kept brushing his tears away, warm and gentle, and Janus couldn’t catch his breath. Maybe there was a way he could fix this, get Remus to change his mind, or at least understand how he’d misread everything so horribly.

Janus finally managed to take a shaky breath, loosening his hold on Remus’s arms. “Did...did I do something wrong?”

“Wh- no?” Remus frowned, straightening a little to try and look Janus in the eyes. “You didn’t do anything.”

“You just,” Janus hesitated, wondering if it would be easier if he just gave up and dropped it. “You answered really fast when I asked about last night.”

Realization dawned on Remus’s face, and Janus’s heart dropped when he suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Oh.”

“I get it,” Janus said quickly, because now Remus was the one refusing to meet his gaze. “I do, it’s fine. I just...didn’t know if I had done something, or—”

He cut himself off when Remus suddenly pulled back, taking his comforting warmth with him, leaving Janus feeling frigid and empty.

He curled in on himself, wondering if at this point it would be a better idea just to kick Remus out of his apartment so they could start over and pretend none of this ever happened.

“It’s not...you- you didn’t...” Remus was stumbling over his own words, shuffling uncomfortably where he stood, and each attempt to explain only crushed Janus further. “It isn’t—”

“Yeah, no I get it,” Janus snapped, any venom overshadowed by the misery in his tone. He was hurt and tired and he just wanted to go back to bed. “It’s fine, Remus.”

“No, I’m—”

“I said I get it! It’s ok, I...I shouldn’t even have asked.”

“I lied.” Remus wasn’t looking at him, his back turned to Janus as he pulled and fiddled with his chain necklace. “Sorry.”

“Oh.” Janus...suddenly wasn’t sure what to say. “That you...loved me? Or that you didn’t say it.”

“That I didn’t say it,” Remus confessed, and Janus’s tears started to slow. “I, uh...I did. I said it.”

Janus didn’t move, terrified that he might somehow break the illusion and Remus would turn around laughing again, waving off any silly ideas of love or commitment.

“Did you mean it?” he asked carefully, hating how shaky his voice was. “If you were drunk we can just drop it.”

“I wasn’t drunk,” Remus said. He sighed, running a hand over his face, still turned away. “Yeah, I...I meant it.”

“Oh.” Janus expected to feel relieved, but now Remus was shaking too, and he still wouldn’t turn around, and Janus just felt scared and numb. “Why did you—”

“Because I wasn’t ready,” Remus blurted. “I don’t...I don’t know if I’m ready, and I don’t know if you...I didn’t think you would remember. It’s...it’s a huge jump, Jan. And usually I’m all for being impulsive, you know that, but you just...this is different. You deserve better than that.”

Janus wiped once more at his eyes, but something had loosened a bit in his chest at Remus’s words, the other man still tense and refusing to look up from the floor.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, rubbing his sleeve over his face until his eyes burned. “I shouldn’t have pushed, I just thought...something else.”

“What?” Remus finally turned to face him, but his confusion only lasted a moment before his eyes widened. “Oh, fuck I didn’t even...I didn’t think about your feelings. Shit, I’m- I’m so sorry, I didn’t—”

“No, Remus it’s fine—”

“I wasn’t thinking,” Remus pressed, running a shaky hand through his hair. “I’m sorry.”

“I jumped to conclusions,” Janus said, trying to sound casual despite how his face was stained with tears and it felt like he’d just been punched in the chest. “It’s ok.”

Remus nodded, though he still seemed a little frantic. “We can just...ignore this. If you want to.”

Janus wasn’t sure how he felt about that solution, but he wasn’t going to push Remus out of his comfort zone any more than he already had today. “Is that what you want to do?”

“I don’t want to make you...uncomfortable,” Remus said slowly, and he smirked at the irony of his own words. “Not with this, anyway. Feelings are fucking gross and dumb and I know you don’t want any part of that, and I’m really sorry.”

“What?” Janus sat up a little straighter, wondering how he’d managed to find someone just as stupid as he was. “No, Remus—”

“I understand!” Remus kept going, barrelling over whatever Janus had been about to say. “Like, obviously I understand. I’m awful but I’m not gonna—”

“God, you’re such a dumbass.” Janus scrubbed a hand over his face, smiling into his palm. “I was upset because I thought you didn’t love me.”

Remus froze, staring with wide eyes like Janus had just said spoken in a foreign language. “Oh.”

“You answered so fast when I asked you,” Janus explained. “I thought I did something to fuck this up. Or that I’d just...misunderstood your intentions.”

“You didn’t,” Remus said. “I was- you know. Just scared.”

Janus nodded, forcing himself to take a deep breath and look Remus in the eyes. “I know. I...I know. I love you.”

Remus’s head snapped up. “You do?”

Janus actually laughed outright at the shock on Remus’s face, like a child that had just been told he was getting his first puppy. “Yeah. Fuck, yeah of course I do, Remus.”

“For real?” Remus asked, even as a huge grin began to take over his face. “Like no joke? You’re not fucking with me?”

“Well, I did think it was obvious,” Janus said, and he couldn’t help but match Remus’s smile. “I love you, you idiot.”

“Me? Shit, Jan, you need higher standards, dude.”

“Don’t call me dude.” Janus took another sip of his gatorade to hide his obvious smile. “I literally just confessed to you.”

“You confessed to having horrible taste.”

“I love you,” Janus said again, because Remus was blushing and he was absolutely using this to his advantage. “Obviously. I’m sitting here crying at ten in the morning because I thought you didn’t.”

Remus had the decency to look embarrassed, another thing almost no one besides Janus got to see. “You could have been crying because you were hungover.”

“No. I was heartbroken, dumbass.”

Remus made a face like he’d tasted something sour. “That’s gross.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Janus scoffed, capping and pushing away his drink. “You said you loved me first.”

“Gross, don’t bring it up,” Remus said, and Janus smirked as he pushed himself to his feet. “I sound like a sap.”

Janus laughed, moving to wrap his arms around his boyfriend’s (Boyfriend? They’d have to talk about that one later) waist and rest his head in the crook of Remus’s neck. “You told me you loved me. While I was drunk.”

“You cannot tell anyone.”

Janus scoffed, having no intention of honoring that wish. “Why not?”

“Because,” Remus said. “It makes me sound gross and gay.”

“You’ve always been gross and gay.” Janus pulled back, just enough to grin at him. “Besides, you’ve been teasing Roman about Virgil for months.”

“He deserves it,” Remus declared. “He needs to get over himself.”

“At least he doesn’t confess to people while they’re drunk and then lie about it the next day.”

Remus’s blush deepened and Janus finally relented. He leaned forward to press a kiss to the corner of Remus’s lips- which quickly turned into something deeper when Remus moved to capture the rest of his mouth and pull him closer.

He only pulled away when he realized he'd started crying again, the relief that Remus loved him, that he hadn’t been wrong, that he wasn’t losing what they had, hitting all at once.

Janus shuddered and struggled to catch his breath, his breathing coming out in quick gasps again, and he clung onto Remus’s shirt like a lifeline.

“Oh, shit.” Remus’s eyes went wide in panic, and Janus found himself laughing around the tears. “Sorry, I didn’t—”

“You’re ok,” Janus assured him, leaning forward again to rest his head on Remus’s shoulder. Remus didn’t hesitate before wrapping his arms around him. “I just...really thought I was losing you.”

“You’re not. I’m still here.”

“I know,” Janus said. He was overwhelmed and exhausted and he’d never been awake this long with a hangover. “The ibuprofen didn’t help either.”

Remus had one hand carding through his hair, the other cupping his jaw as he pressed a kiss to Janus’s forehead. Just like he had last night when he’d told Janus he loved him.

When he’d told Janus he loved him and meant it.

“We should get you back to bed,” Remus said, every bit as adoring as he’d been when Janus was too drunk to stand. “How about I bring you your waffles and we can put on a movie?”

“You’re going to get crumbs in my bed again.”

“No I’m not.” Janus didn’t even get a chance to protest further before Remus had his arms around his waist, hoisting him into the air and over his shoulder. “And you’re too hungover to stop me.”

Janus couldn’t argue with that, relaxing into Remus’s hold as he carried him down the hall and back into the dimly lit bedroom, the darkness already soothing his pounding head.

Remus set him down on the bed, kissed him again for good measure, and returned a moment later with the waffles Janus had left in the toaster. He put the plate on the nightstand beside the half empty water bottle, and settled in beside Janus.

He didn’t even pay attention to Remus’s laptop opening, or the waffle that was offered to him. Janus just wrapped his arms around Remus and rested his head on his chest.

“You’ll stay with me?” Janus asked, already drifting off to the smell of waffles and the clicking of Remus’s keyboard.

“I never planned on leaving,” Remus said, muffled from where he’d pressed his nose into Janus’s hair. “And I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

Janus muttered something even he couldn’t make out, letting his eyes slip shut, breaths steadying in sync to Remus’s own.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later, when he must have thought Janus was already asleep, that Remus began running his fingers through Janus’s hair again, leaning forward to press one last kiss to his temple.

“I love you too,” he said, barely above a whisper. “I love you, Janus.”

Janus smiled, content with letting Remus believe he’d fallen asleep before he could hear the words. Just this once.

People who asked to be tagged for this one:

@self-taught-mess @hannahdra-ws

[miiamour]

Hi!!!! I don’t know if you are taking requests, but could you write some ron weasly angst??? Maybe with a fluff ending? Maybe him making the reader feel insecure or something like that, I don’t know :) Love your writing so much :):)

am i that girl you dream of?

fem!slytherin!reader x ron weasley

summary: you and ron are in a secret relationship— scared of what others will think, but it still doesn’t stop you from getting insecure when he’s flirted with.

warnings: angst, fluff at the end, mentions of cheating, insecurities in relationship, alcohol, illusions to sex/making out hermione slander but only if you squint.

word count: 1.7k

a/n: eek thank you for the request <3 btw i’m literally 4 away from 200 so hopefully this helps me hit 200!

⊱ ──── ˗ˏˋ✧*♡*✧´ˎ˗ ────⊰

the smell of alcohol lingered throughout the room, along with the slight aroma that sweaty teenagers gave off when they’re dancing against each other. the lights in the gryffindor common room were slightly dimmed with a red tint, but still bright enough to see hermione granger flirting with your boyfriend.

granted, she didn’t know— nobody did, but that didn’t mean she have to grab onto his arm every time time he made a joke. it was upsetting to say the least, but it technically wasn’t your place to say anything but it took every ounce of self control to not walk over there and kiss him, showing everyone that ron belongs to you or ram hermione’s head into the wall; either worked for you.

you and ron had been secretly dating for a few months. you were both terribly afraid of what others thought, him more than you; he was a gryffindor with slytherin hating friends and you were a slytherin.

honestly, it was but fun in the beginning; pretending to hate each other, sneaking around, the thrill of possibly getting caught was exhilarating but now, now it just exhausting. you were tired of simply just hanging out in his dorm when no one was around; you wanted to be able to hold his hand in the halls and go out in hogsmeade dates like regular couples.

at times you questioned if he was ashamed of you but he assured you that he wasn’t— although you weren’t so sure now, it had been months and he had yet to tell a soul about the two of you and he was allowing hermione to hopelessly flirt with him.

to be fair, you weren’t sure if ron was even aware that she was flirting or not. but you, you knew. the whole common room could’ve seen it but ron wouldn’t recognize a flirt attempt if it danced naked in front of him wearing dobby’s tea cozy.

but you couldn’t do anything about it; you simply stood there, watching the boy you weren’t supposed to love but did, as girl— who, now that you think about it, is prettier— flirt with him.

your usual self confidence was being teared down, bit by bit, as you watched hermione bat her eyelids at your boyfriend. your finger danced along the rim of your red solo cup that was previously filled with beer, some muggle alcohol— which is nothing like butterbeer.

you honestly couldn’t blame ron, just look at her; she had perfect smile, big doe like brown eyes, and she was smart— ron always admired that about her. you knew that ron had a crush on hermione prior to the two of you dating but he always assured you that he didn’t have any feelings towards her anymore but watching them flirt gave you doubts.

“hey y/n, you alright?” blaise zabini had interrupted your thoughts, he attempted to look in the direction of your gaze “weasley? why’re you staring at him? you fancy him or something?” he asked teasingly.

“what? no! i’m not staring, i just— just zoned out, that’s all” you lied as you turned to the drink table to pour grab something stronger— firewhiskey.

blaise and you had been bestfriends since your first year, and you hadn’t told him about you and ron. you felt a bit guilty about it but ron always told you that you guys could tell people when the time was right, but the time was never right.

“alright then, but if you do fancy him you better hurry up because seems like him and hermione are going up to his dorm” he said casually while pointing his hand in their direction, ron and hermione were walking up towards the boy dormitory.

you turned so fast, you were sure your neck would’ve snapped. “what!” you felt your face redden and your stomach was doing flips.

“y/n!?” blaise called out after you but you were already half way to ron’s dorm.

your heart beat faster with every step you took, exasperation flooding through your veins. your hand— your body shook as it gripped on the door handle, you quickly prayed that what you thought what was going on, wasn’t actually going on.

you forcefully opened the door, the first thing you see being ron— shirtless. “ronald weasley! what the bloody hell do you think you’re doing!” you yelled out at him as if the door didn’t startle them enough.

“y/n! hey, what— what’re you doing here?” his eyes bulging out of his sockets as he jerks his head towards hermione.

“y/n?” hermione yelled out as she backed up away from ron with a rag in her hand.

you ignored hermione and turned to ron, “what am i doing here? i see you walk up to your dorm with another girl! what do expect me to do?” you walked closer to him, pushing on his bare chest with your finger.

“what? another girl?“ hermione mumbles to herself. “if i may—“ she interjects only for you to put your free hand in her face and shout out, “no!”

“how dare you ron! if you didn’t want to be with me anymore, just say so! merlin, you are infuriating—

“no, love, hermione spilled firewhiskey on my shirt!” he throws his hands up in defense as you kept walking towards him until his legs hit foot of his bed.

“i don’t give a damn if hermione spilled—“ you stopped yourself once you properly processed his words “she spilled firewhiskey on you?” you looked between ron and hermione, she was holding a rag, helping ron get cleaned up.

“yes, darling, firewhiskey; that’s why we came up here and why my shirt’s off” he explained before reaching for another shirt to slip on, and before you could apologize hermione spoke.

“l-love? darling? wait, wait— are you two together?” hermione babbled out like a fish out of water.

“surprise!” ron mocked jazz hands,

“nearly eight months” you add.

hermione’s nostrils flared as she walked up to ron “why. didn’t. you. tell. me.” she hit him with the rag between each word.

“y/n, i apologize if he has done anything stupid in the last eight months; he hadn’t had a girl tell him what he’s doing wrong” she said half-jokingly.

well now you felt worse; you thought hermione had tried to after ron, they really were just friends.

“i’ll leave you two alone now” hermione began to walk out the door, “oh and don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone; secrets safe with me” she said after peering her head through the door and ‘zipping’ her lips together and throwing away the key.

you sat next to ron, your heart was slowing down from the fast pace it was previously going at. after a few moments you started, “i’m sor—“

“i’m sorry” ron interrupted.

“why’re you sorry? i’m the one who went all crazy girlfriend.” you shifted closer to him.

“it’s understandable. if i saw you go up to your dorm with another guy, let’s be honest, i’d be way crazier” he placed a hand on your knee and sparks erupted. you were so sensitive to his touch that even the slightest graze of an elbow when you sat next to each other left your stomach doing flips.

“but i still shouldn’t have. you assured me that you and hermione were just friends and i didn’t believe you— i was just being insecure” you said the last part i’m a quiet voice, slightly hoping that he didn’t hear.

ron moved closer to you and wrapped an arm around you “there is no need to be insecure, you’re the only girl i want to be with”

“am i?” you asked, shifting away from ron.

“what’s that supposed to mean? there aren’t any other girls that flirt with me— right?” ron’s eyebrows furrowed.

“this isn’t about girls flirting won’t you l, i’m just saying— do you really want to be with me? am i that girl you dream of?” you stood up in front of him. your throat burned with every breath.

“of course i want to be with you!” this time he stood up.

“then why do act like you’re ashamed? why do we have to keep our relationship hidden?” you yelled out, partially startling ron. tears brimmed your eyes but you refused to let them down.

he walked up to you and grabbed the sides of you face. ron’s eyes were glossy and sunken; filled with guilt and sympathy. “i am not ashamed of you. i’m scared of what people would think about us— people would think ‘what a weird couple, she’s way too fit for him” he flayed his arms mockingly.

you playfully slapped his shoulder, “you care way too much about what others think, ron. besides, i’m tired of sneaking around.” you said more seriously.

“so what? you want to break up?” ron sat back down on the bed and pressed his lips together to keep from smirking.

you took a deep breath to keep yourself from ripping ron’s head off, “no, i— ugh, nevermind” you began to walk away

“i’m joking!” ron gently tugged your arm, and pulled you towards so you stood in between his legs. “y/n, do you want to be my public girlfriend?” he asked you as he wrapped his arms around you.

you put a finger to your chin, pretending to be thinking about it. “hmm, no thanks” you replied.

ron began poking and tickle at your sides.

“you know, if this is your way of getting me to be your girlfriend— stop it!— it’s not a very good one” you giggled in between words.

“merlin, you’re lucky i love you” ron breathed out, not quite realizing what he said.

“you what?” you asked breathlessly.

“oh shit, erm— i love you. yeah. i love you. that’s okay right? i mean you don’t have to say it back but if you want—“

you interrupted ron by kissing him, “i love you too” you mumbled against his lips.

everything worked out. ron loved you and you loved him back. fireworks erupted in your stomach every time you kissed him and your brain went foggy; focusing on nothing but him.

turns out that you are that girl he dreams of.

taglist: @keepawaythenargles @anywherebuthere @myloveforluna click here to join!

[redpandaramblings]

Like Caramel For Chocolate- An Omega Bakugou x Alpha f!Reader fic. Part 2.

Part 1- Here

Next- Here

Content Warning: Negative headspace, omegaverse, self deprecation, depressive thoughts, pushy parental figures, ambiguous omegaverse reproduction, unhealthy relationships, relationship that could be easily fixed if idiots would use their words and communicate

Where we left off-

You twisted the hem of your shirt, silence growing as you thought. Your mother wasn’t saying anything new. On your lonelier days, like today, the words sounded eerily similar to your own thoughts. If this conversation had happened on any other day, you knew how forceful your ‘No!’ would be. But today was today.

“Okay.” Your whisper seemed more like a shout into the quiet. “I’ll do it. I’ll go.”

“You will? Oh Y/N! How wonderful! Since I already said yes, of course. You’ll need to come home right away, the omiai is the day after tomorrow, and we need to get you a proper outfit!”

“So soon?” Your mind raced. Bakugou was still in heat. What would you do? There was no way… Your thoughts slowed. But there was a way. Plenty of ways. Katsuki had many friends that could look after him. Friends he was actually comfortable letting into his apartment. You knew he’d let Kirishima take care of him. Mina absolutely could convince him to eat and drink, no matter how grumpy he was. There was a pain in your chest as a familiar thought wound through your brain. Katsuki didn’t need you. He never had. As if in a fog, you heard yourself saying, “I’ll need a little bit to take care of some things here; but I can be home tonight. See you soon.” You heard your mother happily continue rambling even as you hung up. You stared at the wall for a few minutes, unseeing. You were really doing this, huh? Pushing yourself up, you rummaged around your kitchen; finding bags and filling them with snacks and drinks. Before you could think better of it, you dialed Kirishima. He answered on the fourth ring. “Hey dude! What’s up?” “Kiri, I need your help. Can you come over now? I’ll explain when you get here.” “Yeah man, I’ll be right over. Hang tight.” A few short minutes later, there was a knock on your door. You opened it to see a tall, concerned looking redhead. You ushered him inside as you went back to the kitchen, continuing to make up care packs. “Hey, now what is it, Y/n? It sounded serious.” “It is and it isn’t,” you say; looking over at him as you shove gatorade into bags. “There’s a… family emergency. I need to go home right away for a few days.” “Ouch, that’s rough man! It’s Bakubro having his heat right now?” “Exactly. That’s why I need your help. Can you bring one of these bags to him each day? Make sure he eats and drinks at least? I know he trusts you.”

Kirishima nodded enthusiastically. “Of course man! Anything to help!” He looked over the supplies, inconspicuously checking what you’d already packed. “You want to scent some stuff for him before you go too?” You shook your head, forcing yourself not to wince as you lied to your friend yet again. “I’d better not. I don’t want to give him a bag of stuff soaked in distressed alpha scent. Besides, I scented some stuff for him this morning; that should be enough.”

Kirishima frowned but nodded. “I guess that makes sense. Have you told him yet?”

You shake your head. “No. No reason to stress him out until I know for sure what I’m dealing with, and call when I have a better idea. Might not even take a full day if I’m lucky.” “Yeah, hopefully. It’s really shit timing, isn’t it.” You nod as you place the last of the bags on the counter, satisfied with your work. “It is. But I trust you to take care of him. You’re a great alpha like that.” Kirishima chuckled and preened at the praise. “I am great, aren’t I? I’ll do my best, but I’m no match for you.” You give a small, tight smile as you walk to your junk drawer, rummaging until you find one of your spare keys. You chuck it at your friend, who catches it easily. “Here. This way you can let yourself in and just grab a bag each day.”

“Can do, Dudette! Anything else?”

You considered as you retrieved a duffle bag, making a mental list of what you’d need to pack. “Not really? I haven’t told anybody else that I’m going yet. Wasn’t sure if I should ask Mina or some of the others to check in too. You know how Bakugou can be with his heats, and I want to make sure he’s comfortable.”

“Oh yeah, that makes sense. I’ll probably wait til tomorrow and see what he wants to do.” Kiri watched you as you paced around. “Need any help packing?”

You nodded with half a smile. “Yeah. Thanks, Kiri.”

In a few short hours you were packed with enough supplies for a few days, and on a train headed home. Your mother had agreed to meet you at the station. The scenery rushed by a window in a blur. Your eyes were unfocused as you watched the view whip by. You were really doing this. For the first time in years, you were leaving your omega… No. You were leaving Katsuki alone for his heat. You were leaving him alone so you could go to a marriage date. To meet an omega theoretically with the intention of bonding. Guilt weighed heavily on you as you exited the train hours later. You saw your mother waving to you from across the station. This was it. No turning back now.

~~~

Bakugou growled as the morning light streamed in his window, smacking him across the eyes. He wished he could just sleep until the whole fucking heat was over. He hated everything about it. He hated the itching of his skin, the hazy fog affecting his brain, the slimy slick that oozed out of him steadily. He hated the burning need to fuck and breed and to have his alpha close. Bakugou snarled to himself. He refused to be a slave to his weak ass biology. He wasn’t some weak, pitiful, flower. He was a top ten hero! He was going to be number one! And the next bastard who told him he should be home tending to his pups and letting an alpha take care of him was going to get an explosion up the ass. As if he needed some knotted headed alpha. Bakugou glanced at his clock, frowning when he saw the time. Usually his alpha would be here by now to drop off his care bag. He scratched at the swollen, irritated scent glands on his neck. It’s not like he fucking cared if Y/N was late. Just, he couldn’t remember the last time she had been. And maybe he was getting antsy because the strength of his heat scent was already starting to overpower the scented blanket he had woven into his nest, close to his pillows.

A knock sounded from the door, and with a relieved huff Bakugou rushed to answer it. He took a deep breath in to calm himself, before flinging the door open.

“About fucking time you showed up, shitty…” He trailed off as his brain registered the tall, red-headed man standing in front of him was very much not his alpha. “What the fuck are you doing here, shitty hair?”

Kirishima rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish. “Hey man, sorry not to call beforehand, but I told Y/N I wouldn’t.” Confused, Bakugou looks Kirishima up and down again, this time spotting the familiar bag the redhead was holding. “What the fuck are you doing with my stuff? Where’s my shitty alpha?” Kiri frowned and held up the bag. “Don’t call Y/N shitty. She asked me to bring this over. Look, man, can I just come in and explain what’s going on?”

Reluctantly, Bakugou stood aside holding the door open as his friend came in. The blond stuck his head into the hallway, half looking for his alpha. His inner omega growing restless when there was no sign of you. With a grumble, he slammed the door, turning to where his friend had thrown himself onto the sofa. “So what the fuck, Kirishima? Where’s Y/N? Why didn’t she come here herself?”

Kiri tilted his head back, looking at the ceiling. “She had some sort of family emergency and had to go home for a bit. She didn’t want to worry you because she didn’t know how serious it was or how long it would take. She said she’d call and update us when she’s able to.”

Bakugou’s omega whimpered in his chest. His alpha was gone? His alpha had left him alone when he couldn’t follow to make sure they were alright? He knew how much your family stressed you out normally, let alone in an emergency. A traitorous part of his brain whispered to him, asking if this wasn’t exactly what he had wanted? Hadn’t he growled at his mate, wanting to be left alone? Bakugou hadn’t realized there was a plaintive whine escaping his throat until Kirishima wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Hey, bro, it’s okay. I know it’s rough, but I’m here. And I can call Mina and Sero if you want company. Been a while since we’ve had a pack get together. Y/N might not be here right now, but she wanted to make sure you’re as comfortable as possible.”

Bakugou nodded stiffly as he went to go paw through the bag Kirishima had brought.

Jerky, drinks, chocolate- Bakugou frowned. “Was this the only bag?”

“I mean, there’s a bag for each day for about a week’s worth; so I just grabbed one. Why man, something missing? Need me to go get you something?”

Katsuki shook his head. He wasn’t going to ask Kirishima of all people where his usual bag of scented items was. If Y/N was in a rush, that would explain it. Bakugou hoped that was the case, and he wouldn’t have to actually ask you to scent things for him again. He’d rather be kidnapped by villains again than admit to how much your rich chocolate scent soothed him and helped him sleep peacefully. There was no way the items you had left yesterday would last him through the rest of his heat.

“Actually, shitty hair, could you go get me some Yakult? Been craving it this heat.” Kiri jumped up with a grin. “Sure, bro! No problem! Be right back!” The omega gave a lazy wave as Kiri jogged out the door. As soon as the door shut, he bolted to the bathroom and applied as much scent blocker as he could stand. It wouldn’t hold up long against his heat pheromones, but should work for what he intended to do. Bakugou grabbed his keyring from the hook by the door, rushed down the hallway to the stairway, and started climbing upward; taking the stairs three at a time. In less than a minute, he was standing outside the door to your apartment.

It felt strange, Katsuki thought as he flipped through his keys until he found yours. It was strange that in all your years of dating he had only been inside your apartment a handful of times. He unlocked the door, pushing it open and stepping inside. As the wall of scent that was uniquely you smacked him in the face, he felt the tension in his shoulders ease. Maybe the strangest thing was that you lived three floors apart instead of sharing a space together. Because then he wouldn’t be here, doing this; he thought as he made a beeline to your bedroom. He knew exactly what he was after. Recently scented items lost their smell fairly quickly. But something you used daily, with your scent glands brushing against it every time? That would last him a month, if not longer. Besides. You were his alpha. He wouldn’t have to come in and steal your pillow if you had just scented more stuff for him in the first place. He buried his face in your pillow and inhaled deeply. He whimpered as your rich scent filled his nose, causing his slick to increase. Reluctantly he made his way to the door with his prize, even as every instinct told him to build a nest on the soft bed and wait for his mate to come home to him.

~~~~~

You sighed, adjusting the cuffs of the outfit your mother had picked and shoved you into. Today was the day. The day you met your perspective “bride.” You snorted at the old fashioned ideology. At times like these you felt like you understood Bakugou better. Omegas deserved to be treated as more than just their dynamic. Luckily, most of society agreed nowadays; with omegas able to hold any job and no one being forced to marry. Unluckily, the omiai remained one of the last extremely traditional accepted ceremonies. Your parents were in another room, exchanging your scented handkerchief with one from whoever the poor omega was. According to tradition, if you both went into heat and rut upon scenting each other; you would both be married and mated that same day. What happened more often, you thought cynically, is as long as you didn’t gag at each other’s scent, you’d meet in person to see if you found each other compatible.

You were broken out of your ruminations by the sound of a door opening. Your mother practically skipped toward you, holding out the paper wrapped package with the hanky inside. You tuned out her nattering about how good this match could be as you unwrapped the paper and brought the cloth to your nose. Your brow furrowed. You inhaled deeply, just to make sure. The sharp tang of citrus hit your nose. You knew this scent from somewhere. “Hey mom,” you spoke softly. “I think I’d like to see them now.”

“Oh!” Your mother blinked in surprise. “Of course, of course! This way!”

Your mother led you into an elegant private room. You settled onto a cushion as your parents went to see if the omega had agreed to meet. Glancing about the room, you wondered exactly how many times you’d see the inside of this teahouse if you kept agreeing to these meetings. It didn’t feel right, you thought with a frown. But if you gave up on Bakugou, this was your destiny. Awkward meeting after awkward meeting until you clicked enough with someone to risk settling down.

You glanced up at the sound of the door. In came your parents, then the Yokomadas. You did a double take as the final person, the omega you were here to meet, entered the room. They looked equally as startled as your eyes locked.

“Y/N?”

“Denki?!”

That's it for part 2! Thank you for reading, and stay tuned for part 3! If anyone has any questions regarding the fic or how this particular omegaverse operates, please feel free to shoot me an ask.

Taglist- @yzviea, @not-a-pushover, @thelilypieforever, @kumihayu, @aomi04 Also, please note that @snuggleyourredpandas is my main account, so it you see a message reply from them, that's me!

[funnyexel]

Daydream December | Voicemail

Bruce Banner x Black Female Reader

A/n: Hello everyone! Since I’ve been procrastinating all month, I’m going to be posting a lot of stories between now and December 31st. I don’t know which ones I’m going to be posting yet but hopefully some of my longer ones.

Summary: You are getting ready for your date with Banner, unfortunately you are one of the many people who get snapped. But before you got snapped you were able to send a voicemail to him.

More Stories Here -> Mega List Masterlist

Listening to rnb music to get you in the feel good mood, you smile in the mirror. Lip syncing to the words, you apply blush and some finishing touches to your makeup before messing with your hair. You were obsessed with it, recently installing the lace front. The color complimented your skin perfectly, the lose curls giving it volume and its length being manageable. Slipping on your dress and spraying perfume, you make sure your hair doesn’t get snagged. Grabbing all the necessities to put in your purse, you grab your phone and call him. As you put on your shoes the phone rings next to you. Sighing as you finish putting on both your shoes and the phone goes to voice mail. “Hey, I’m ready but no rush. You might still be busy so call me when you get this or come over, either is fine. Hopefully you and him aren’t fighting again.” You chuckle at your words. “I’ll be here. Bye, Bruce…I love you.” You smile and hang up. Putting your phone in your purse, you look at yourself in the full length mirror. Your eyelids began getting heavy and your body becoming weak. More than half your body was fading. Nothing to do now. “at least you tried” You close your eyes not sure what might meet you after you’re all gone.

He stayed in his room longer than usual today. Getting Tony, Rocket and Nebula from space gave him some sort of déjà vu, from the times you were here. Going through his phone, he puts up his volume and holds it close to him. “Hey, I’m ready but no rush. You might still be busy so call me when you get this or come over, either is fine. Hopefully you and him aren’t fighting.” He lowly chuckles with you, missing you. “I’ll be here. Bye, Bruce…I love you.” He didn’t want to give into despair or sadness. He was going to get you back, no matter the amount hard work he had to do. Leaving with a neutral attitude, he refuses to let you go so easily. There and then he silently promises himself to fix their mistakes.

The interaction with Thanos left them astray. Is this the end? If not, where do we start? While almost everyone has given up on the idea of bringing everyone back, he was the last one to hold on but he did eventually give up. He didn’t want to, he wanted to see you again but he just didn’t have the knowledge to figure out anymore ways to fix the worldwide mess. Over the five years he became professor hulk to get along with the green giant better but it honestly didn’t feel right without you…or hulk to say the least. Thanos beating the crap out of him and losing you being the topping on the disastrous cake. Hulk hasn’t talked to him in five years. Once he heard of the new idea Scott brought to the table he was hesitant at first, not wanting to get his hopes up but the statistics proved more than reliable. Giving him and everyone else hope once more.

Opening your eyes, you see a frantic New York. Time seemed slowed as more and more people kept appearing. They all look confused as if they don’t know where to go. A scrambling woman soon bumps into you. Looking at her on the ground, you give her a hand. Her shoes very out of place with her outfit. Your eyes traveling to her shoes then yours. She seems like the same size. “Would you like to trade?” You point to her shoes then yours. She nods and next thing you know, you’re getting out the cab at nightfall. Running around the wrecked compound in converses and a formal dress. “what happened..?” You ask yourself, looking around. Squinting your eyes you see a green figure in the distance. Pacing towards them you make sure who they are. “Hulk?” You ask. They turn around. “Y/n.” He freezes. “Bruce? Hulk? I am so conf-“ He embraces you in a tight hug, cutting off your sentence.

His body gets bigger in your arms as you hug him back and slowly returns to normal. Letting go of you and taking in your presence he smiles. Guiding his hands to your cheeks, he leans in hesitantly. As if it was all a dream, as if his mind was fooling him once more. Your soft lips against his in a soft tender kiss. It was honestly a reflex. Taking a small step back and breaking the kiss, his mind finally confirms that you’re back. “Is that dinner date still up for grabs?” You smile, nodding. Holding him tight and resting your head on his shoulder. “I love you.”