#Deadpool just want to have shits and giggles and I hate him and love him at the same time

[qcomicsy]

It's so funny to read Jason todd's comics after being a Deadpool fan, they're all "killing is bad killing is bad" brother I don't give a shit.

My last blorbo used to kill people to buy unicorn belts this is a huge upgrade.

[dyns33]

Deadpool x Cute SHIELD agent Y/N

Y/N tried to explain to Wade that they didn't trick him, that they really love like him, but he won't listen. Even when the agent came to Sister Margaret and asked Weasel to help, knowing that everyone in the bar is ready to jump on them, because they are like a cop, and they broke Deadpool heart (they don't really care, they are not his friends, but Wade is a real pain in the ass when he's heartbroken)

After some weeks, Y/N accepted that it was over  

Wade didn't. Well, he did, in a way, but he thought it was true love, he was happy with the little agent, and so he doesn't know what to do.

        Kill them.

       Forget them

       Follow them. If they fuck someone else, kill the assholes. They have no right to touch our Y/N !

       How do we do that if we killed Y/N ?

       Kidnap them and keep them for yourself in a cage

      Fuck someone and send them pictures. They'll see what they lost

      If they cry, kill yourself

Yeah, his brain was a real mess, and so he was messing with everyone else, trying to ignore the stupid boxes

When SHIELD calls him, it's not helping. Even if when he learns it was Spidey idea. What a good bro, saying he's a hero. Whatever.

Of course he wants to impress the spider and do the right thing, Deadpool loves money but he also hate bad guys.

But he doesn't want to help the SHIELD. Not after what happened.

      "What happened ?" asks sweet innocent Spidey

       "One of their agent used me."

        "Oh. Sorry. But all of them are not like that. Just do the right thing and fuck the rest !"

        Haha, he said 'fuck'

        He's so precious

Deadpool accepted to help. But he's a bit nervous around SHIELD agents, sure they are staring at him, and talking about what Y/N told them about him. One day, he snapped.

        "Go on, say what you have to say about my face and my dick !"

        "... What ?"

        "I know about Y/N's files on me !"

        "... What ? Files ?"

       "L. O. L. Yes, play dumb big guy.”

        "Wait, Y/N ? How do you know them ? What did you do to them ?!"

         They don't seem to know what we are talking about.

        They're lying. Spies, remember ?

         But what if they really don't know ? Y/N tried to tell us they didn't lie to us. I think ? We were yelling a lot and breaking things.

         Oh shit.

        "Oh shit. Y/N ! BABY !"

         "Deadpool, where are you going ?! Come back here, the offices are not for..."

He didn't listen. Wade is really not good at listening, he should work on that. But he's great at finding people, and fortunately for him, Y/N is here. Hiding in a room, knowing he's here and trying to avoid him to not cause any problems. They are sure he won't like to see them. So they are surprised when he entered.

         "Wad... I mean, Deadpool. What can I do for you ?"

          "You didn't write any files about me !"

           "Uh.. No. As I said to your friend Weasel, I..."

           "You never used me !"

            "Well, you helped me, in the bar, but it was not the plan. And... When we were... When we were in the office, I was not really thinking about the mission. Or just that I would have to come back later."

           "OMG ! You really love me ! Baby !"

           "I..."

          Oh oh. I don't like this.

          Look at their sad puppy face !

         Well, you said they were a liar and other stuff. You didn't trust them.

         You hurt our baby ! Bad Wade ! Kill yourself !

          Yes, do it.

          "I'm so sorry Y/N. I... I should have listen to you, but when I discovered you were an agent... Everyone lie to me. They mock me, manipulate me, and betray me. So it was logical to think you were like that. I mean, you're too fucking good for me. I felt stupid to believe you could want me. Damn, I wish I was like Matt, he knows when people lie, I wouldn't have act like an ass."

         "Matt ?"

          "... Forget that. The point is, I was happy with you, and like every times something nice happens to me, I ruined it."

           "... I understand. I'm sorry too. I couldn't tell you, it's on my contract. I can only talk about my job to my family or the person I'm married to."

            "... So we're married now ?"

            "Wade." Y/N giggled.

            Aaaah, I missed this laugh.

           And this smile.

           You made them smile, you don't have to kill yourself, they'll be sad again and we don't want that. Kiss them !

           Make them moan your name. Take them on the desk, now !

The door opened behind him before he could move.

          "Uh... Deadpool ?"

          "Yes Spidey ?"

          "The mission ?"

           "Oh right. Gotta go baby ! See you tonight !"

Wade quickly kissed Y/N on the nose then he ran with Spiderman, happy and ready to play hero.

[artzychic27]

In honor of the glorious pride month (Coming up soon), please enjoy these Miraculous Pride Headcanons!

Inspired by this post by @transvoltronhc

You a TERF? Fuck off, beeyatch!

Marinette- The Pan Trans Queen we all Need 🏳️‍⚧️

She/Her- Pansexual/Polyamorous

Every time Marinette inhales, a terf gets punched

Every time Marinette exhales, a trans kid gets a flag

She and Nathaniel supply the face paint

She’s very vocal at pride and gets super violent with protesters

Marinette: *Punching protester while her friends cheer* I don’t wanna see your disgusting face here ever again, you filthy pig! Same goes for the rest of you!

Terfs go to protest, walk away covered in bruises and with a tiny crush on the bluenette

Got into a muscle-flexing contest and won first

Dyed her hair the colors of the pan flag and walks around with a brightly colored, bedazzled trans flag cape

Supplies juice boxes and cookies for the pride kids

She and Marc pass out colorful binders, flower crowns, and starter makeup kits

Drag Queens and Kings LOVE her and are always giving her hugs whenever she walks by / She’s even been commissioned by them to make outfits for their next shows. The audience loved them

Alya- The Badass Pansexual Pirate 🏴‍☠️

She/Her but is not opposed to They/Them

Actually has dressed like a pirate with a sword the colors of her flag. Anarka was so proud

Will punch TERFs with their Pan bestie any day

Ships random people

Leaves many girls swooning as she walks by in her thigh high leather boots

Alya: Sorry ladies, I’m spoken for. *Kisses Nino*

No one dares to flirt with her because she’s out of everyone’s league

One protester made a transphobic comment about Nino, and Alya immediately hit em with a frying Pan

The chaotic aunt of pride

Death drops are flawless!

Hands out phone cases they painted the colors of different pride flags

Born This Way is her anthem

Has many pride-themed superhero tank-tops ‘Super Gay 4 Super Girl’ ‘I’m Bi Man’ ‘Deadpool was at Stonewall’

Nino- The Insanely Cool Bi Trans Guy 😎🏳️‍⚧️

He/Him

Marinette made him a bedazzled cape so they could match

Mari and Kim’s brother in Transness

Dresses in hoodies no matter how hot it is

One of the mom friends. / Everyone wants to be adopted by him. / He once put everyone on baby leashes so they wouldn’t wander off

Everyone refers to him as “Trans DJ Jesus” because he wore sandals with a long curly wig one time. (To this day, no one knows why he did it)

Takes a five-minute break to Vogue with the drag queens

Supplies the music while skateboarding. He blasts every gay national anthem known to humankind

Alya, Adrien, Marinette, and Kim are very protective of him. Once, a TERF pushed him to the ground. Alya, Marinette, and Kim beat up the TERF while Adrien treated his friend to some ice cream

Adrien- Shit! We lost the baby! 🏳️‍🌈😱

He/Him & She/Her- Bigender/Bisexual/Polyamorous

Can’t stop, won’t stop wandering off because he’s never been to a Pride parade before

He was surprised at how accepting his father was. Although, it probably had something to do with Nathalie and Gorilla threatening to expose him as Hawkmoth if he didn’t let Adrien go

The class goes ballistic whenever she goes missing and will interrogate anyone

Myléne: *Interrogating a drag queen* Are you hiding him in your wig?! / Marinette: Get her out! She’s so frail! Her dad doesn’t feed her! / Nino: Found him! He was getting ice cream. / Myléne: ... You are free to go.

Nino has to put him on a baby leash every time

Drinks the most juice boxes and eats the most ice cream

Can’t tell when he’s being flirted with / Rando: Hey, cutie. / Adrien: ... My name is Adrien.

Bigender legwarmers, bracelets, and headbands

Dresses in pastels every year, and people just wanna hug him / He's happy to oblige and will hug anyone / Vows to hug the hate out of protesters

Every time Adrien smiles or laughs, a transgender child is accepted by friends and family and then gets a flower crown

Keeps getting asked if she and Marinette are dating. / Adrien: No, we’re just shopping buddies. (Secretly wishes for more)

A girl once asked if he was Cinderella when he wore a blue headband, and he immediately said yes. Now every week for Pride month, she dresses as a different Disney Princess

Nearly fainted when Marinette and Luka entered a flexing contest and Luka’s sleeves tore

Kim- Mari and Nino’s Bi brother in Trans Pride🏳️‍⚧️

He/Him & They/Them- Gender nonconforming

Kim: I’m a guy, I like blouses and heels, deal with it, people!

Kim/Mari/Nino: Bedazzled Cape Squad!

Muscle shirts and converse sneakers / Has a tank top that reads, ‘I flexed so hard the sleeves came off’

Got into a muscle-flexing contest against Luka and Marinette and got third place (No one beats Marinette)

Also can’t tell when they’re being flirted with

Alix and Max convinced him to dress in drag, and he went all out. Now he has the respect of many drag queens. And every pride parade, he wears heels and a huge wig

Gives everyone (Mainly Max) piggyback rides

Asked Max to be his boyfriend at one pride parade, and people thought it was so cute! They named that day, ‘Kimax Day’

Max- Not a Robot, I’m Agender 🤖

They/Them

Has many pride tank-tops and pins with puns / ‘Error 404 Gender Not Found’ ‘I Don’t Speak Binary Code’ ‘2/3 of the Invisible Trio’

Has Marinette paint their cheeks the colors of the agender and asexual flags

Has one of those digital backpacks with pixelated images on the front

Downloads Pride songs for Markov to blasts from their speakers

When they and Alix convinced Kim to dress in drag, Max may or may not have drooled a bit

Progress Pride Flag cape, socks, and nails

When protestors attack, Max goes all LGBT scientist on their butts, explaining the difference between gender and sex, what hormone blockers actually do, and how not every gay person has AIDS

Once beat up a sleazy protester for... Feeling Kim down there / Max: *Hitting protester with a baseball bat* If you ever do that again, I will fit Markov with a laser and have them slice your rotten dick off!

Marinette and Nathaniel helped them make pride bracelets with the sexualities and gender identities written in binary code. The pride nerds LOVED them

Nathaniel: Our Beautiful BiRomantic Son 🎨

He/Him

He and Marinette paint everyone’s faces before every pride parade

Painted an asexual heart on his Bi flag and wore it as a cape

Cuffed jeans, boots, tucked-in shirt, beanie, pride buttons / Paints pride flags on his denim jacket and shorts

Marc does his makeup, and he looks fabulous

His grandma teaches him how to fight in case of violent Christian protesters / Grandma: Sweetie, you’re Jewish and Bisexual, the world is gonna tear you apart. Learn how to give a mean left hook.

Once took over a face painting booth, now he does it every Pride Month

Enters the 'Crush a watermelon between your thighs' contest every time and always wins first

Saw couples cosplaying as Mightillustrator and Inverser, and cried tears of joy

He and Marc cosplay as couples at every pride parade. The fan favorites are Keith and Lance, Tweek and Craig, and Michael and Rich

CANNOT have too much sugar or he goes crazy and wakes up with no memories of what he did

The next day after an intense sugar high, people were saluting as he walked by and calling him ‘General of the Bisexual Battalion’ / He’s not complaining or questioning it / He has an army now and will one day take over all of Europe. Then the world.

Marc: The Rainbow Flag has Taken a Human Form🏳️‍🌈

Nonbinary- He/Him & They/Them

A True Pride Legend

Born on June 1st at a pride parade.

A singer helped deliver him, his cord was cut by a sword Lesbian, he was swaddled in a drag queen’s glitter cape, and their name was thought of by a drag king

This moment was so beautiful that many protesters cried and decided to join the parade

Everyone will literally stop what they’re doing just to get a picture with them / Everyone loves Marc!

Got into a splits contest and won

Makes flower crowns and knits rainbow flag scarves to pass out to everyone

Certified Mom Friend

Does everyone's makeup

Loses his shit when his shorter friends get lost in crowds

Hugs pride kids who were forced to sneak out or were kicked out of their homes then buys them ice cream / He and Nathaniel have adopted over fifty Pride kids who were kicked out of their homes

Joins Adrien in dressing like a Disney Princess. He SLAYED as Snow White

It may not seem like it, but Marc can throw a punch and fight with one hand right behind their back

Beat up a transphobic asshole for trying to “correct” a trans boy by forcing himself onto him. / They never did find the man’s body. In fact, all of his personal information was gone. Almost like he had never even existed... / Marc looks cute, but he can be terrifying when he needs to be

Alix: Two Out of 3 💚💜🖤🤍

She/Her & They/Them

Leaves many girls swooning as they skate by

Devious little shit

She doesn’t beat up protesters like her classmates. She pranks them until they cry / One year, they all ended up covered in rainbow glitter and pink feathers / Adrien and Rose help them make glitter bombs to throw at protesters, then they run away giggling

Wears sarcastic Pride shirts and black shorts with her roller skates

She and Jalil come out to their father every June

Alix: Father. I am AroAce! / Jalil: Also, I am gay! / Alim: Kids, I know. You’ve been doing this every year. / Jalil: Well... Thank you for being an ally!

This is the only time she’ll wear makeup / She wears it like war paint. Only it’s rainbow

Drinks the most juice out of everyone

Ships people with Alya. SHIPPING BUDS!

Myléne: Smol Asexual Bean ♠️

She/Her

Goes all out for Pride Month / Rolls around in glitter with Rose and Sabrina before every parade

Dyes her hair all rainbow / Wears a ‘Shakespeare was Here’ shirt with her asexual flag skirt

Has also beaten up homophobes and transphobes

Is the most vocal when it comes to putting those assholes in their place. Ivan has to hold her back sometimes

After an acephobe after they made certain comments (You ace folk know what I’m talkin ‘bout) She roundhouse kicked them / Every protester knows not to mess with the bohemian girl

Will blast The PROM soundtrack at max volume from her phone

Cosplays as musical characters. Veronica Sawyer was a fan favorite

Part of the “Where the Hell is Adrien?” Squad

Ivan: My Girlfriend is Stronger than Me, and it’s So Hot 💪😍

Prefers He/Him but is cool with other pronouns - Questioning his gender so isn’t using any labels right now

The responsible auncle

Mari and Alya’s partner in Pansexuality/ He can’t help if everyone is attractive, he just can’t!

Looks like he can kill you, but is actually a cinnamon role. Myléne on the other hand...

Has let Marc do their makeup and nails, and looks gorgeous!

Did drag. Slayed. Rocks those three-inch heels.

Tank tops and shorts club

Like Marinette, no one dares to flirt with him. Not because he’s out of their league, but because they’re scared of his girlfriend

Dyes his blonde tuft pastel pink every year

More pacifistic than her friends are when it comes to protesters, but if the right buttons are pressed, hell shall be raised

They join Alya and Alix in shipping random people

Rose: The Lovely Lipstick Lesbian💄

She/Her- Breaking lesbian stereotypes est. 2004

The kind aunt who supports all of her niblings

Has been going to pride with her dads since she was born/ One of her dads is a retired drag queen

Wears her rainbow fairy wings every year

Has a lesbian flag with dozens of girls' phone numbers written on it. / Doesn’t wear it anymore now that she has Juleka

Throws fistfuls of glitter at protesters and yells at them, “LIGHTEN UP!”

Sprinkles glitter on pride kids and tells them to sparkle

Marinette helps her make rainbow unicorn plushies to hand out to children every year

Dresses as Disney Princesses with Adrien and Marc. Princess Squad!

Bakes cookies to pass around

Drag Kings and Queens love this girl! She’s cute, loud, and carries glitter everywhere

Butch lesbians learn not to flirt with her after their encounter with Juleka

To piss of protesters, she dipped Juleka and kissed her for ten whole seconds / Rose: I bet your husbands don’t love you like that. / Drag Queens: BUUUUUURN!

Juleka: The Gay Witch 🖤🏳️‍🌈

She/Her & They/Them - Total lesbian

Was there when Marc was born, and will never forget that day. (She has an impressive memory, even as a baby)

They swore they saw a rainbow when he was born

Dresses as a witch and wears red eye contacts to every pride event so she freaks out protesters

Has actually cursed them / They just bought the spellbook off of Amazon

Carries around a rainbow parasol

Carries Rose under every threshold she comes across

Is a lot louder at pride events than on regular days

She actually sang Girls Like Girls up on stage, and everyone went wild

Sometimes wears suits

When they saw Rose being flirted with by some butch lesbians, they went ballistic / Now the butch lesbians are terrified of her forever

She and Luka help out with painting her friends’ nails and dying their hair

Dyes her hair rainbow every pride month

Luka: The Responsible Hot & Chaotic Auncle 💖💚💙

Agender- They/Them, He/Him, She/Her - Polysexual/Polyamorous

“For me, gender is like silence... I’m just not into it.”

Doesn’t really care what pronouns people use for him

Wears dresses to every pride parade. Anarka and Juleka have never been so proud

Is always doing drag cosplay. Marc and Nathaniel have never been so proud / They had people gawking when they did Jessica Rabbit cosplay

Purposely bends over in front of people, while wearing leggings, skirts, skinny jeans, or short shorts. Marinette, Kagami, and Adrien got nosebleeds

Marinette/Kagami/Adrien: Luka's ass in those shorts is a Godsend.

Dyes her hair rainbow every pride parade

The minute June starts, they’ll get up in the morning, grab their Polysexual flag, and just run around the city

Has been coming up with Pride songs to sing at protesters. Many of the songs insult them. / Luka: Okay! This one goes out to the trash behind barriers, it’s called, “Please shut the fuck up, you homophobic dildos!”

Got into a flexing contest and won second, but at the cost of their sequined sleeves

Asked Adrien, Marinette, and Kagami to be his significant others at a pride event. They all said yes

Has carried Adrien and Marinette on her biceps, and Kagami on her shoulders

Adrien: ... I marrying them first. / Marinette: Get in the back of the line, blonde wonder! / Kagami: Both of you move to the back.

Kagami: While You Were Busy Being Hetero, I Studied the Blade 🗡

She/Her - PanRomantic/Polyamorous

Surprisingly, her mother was very supportive. She even bought Kagami a rainbow sword / Turns out, Tamoe had a few flings herself. 😉

Kagami came out to the whole fencing team by wearing a pansexual-flag print fencing mask. Adrien squealed all through practice

She didn’t quite understand what polyamory meant and was confused as to why she had crushes on Adrien, Marinette, and Luka at the same time

After a bit of explaining and reassuring her that it was totally normal and not being disloyal to a partner, Kagami came to terms with being polyamorous

Tamoe allowed Kagami to go to her first Pride Parade. On the condition that she take her sword to ward off protesters

She was so overwhelmed and wasn’t entirely sure what to do until she found Marinette, Luka, and Adrien in the crowd with their friends

The four of them hung out together and got closer

Believes Adrien in pastels is one of the purest things on Earth

When Marinette and Luka entered the flexing contest, Kagami had to keep Adrien and herself from fainting

When Luka asked her, Marinette, and Adrien to be his significant others she tried to resist the urge to jump and squeal, but couldn’t hold it in

Likes it when Marinette wraps her trans flag around her. It’s so warm

Chased off a protester and TERF with her sword. They said some shit about Marinette being ‘fake’, Luka being ‘greedy’, and Adrien being a ‘pansy’, and she just snapped / While screaming in rapid Japanese, she chased about fifty protesters away. Her SOs were so proud.

Sabrina: The Ginger Gent 👑🏳️‍🌈

She/Her, He/Him in Drag- PanRomantic

Rolls around in glitter, as is a Drag tradition

Dresses in drag. / The Ginger Gent is her drag king name and she’s got like a glam rocker theme going on

Sequined leather jacket, coiffed toupee, glitter makeup

Started doing drag when she was twelve. Her dad supported her wholeheartedly and even entered her in junior drag contests. She took first place three times

Sometimes puts on private drag shows for Chloé. (Nothing weird!)

Marinette helps makes most of her costumes

Luka’s partner in Drag / Together, they kick ass and still look glamorous

A makeup expert (Next to Marc)

Roger taught her self defense / If you're going to Pride, learn to fight

Has taken down thirty protesters, his hair still looks awesome, and there's not a sequin out of place.

Chloé: The Badass Polysexual Demigirl 💖💚💙

She/Her and They/Them

Not really that attracted to guys

Best dressed. / Marc/Luka/Sabrina: She wishes!

Only allows Marc to do their makeup, no one else!

She has her own float in the parade / She passes out rainbow boas

Taking names and kicking butt

Has actually choked a protester with their flag and they don't do a thing about it since they're the mayor's child

Chloe: It pays to have political power. / Marinette: In this situation.

Doesn't tell people, but they came to Marinette, Nino, and Kim about gender stuff when they were questioning their identity

The day was spent teaching Chloe about the trans spectrum until she found the gender that felt right to her

Whenever Chloe gets excited, she makes out with the first girl she comes across. / Many young female protesters started questioning things when the blonde's lips grazed against theirs'

[negasonicimagines]

Tell Me I'm Not Funny

Request: darkandmysteriousbutheartofgold!ellie and wholesomeanddoesn'tunderstandwhyelliedoesn'tlikeher!reader where they're both part of the friend group but ellie just thinks reader is straight and messing with her pls

Notes: I don’t usually write MCU!Peter, so if he comes up in any future fics (like as the reader’s stepdad 👀 I’ve loved spideypool longer than I’ve loved Negasonic) you can safely assume it’s Andrew Garfield. But, for this time, this is MCU!Peter. Everyone in the friend group is 18-20, just to be clear.

This really isn't my best work, but it's a fun little slice of life piece. A lot of my ideas are pretty cinematic, I can picture them in my head but sometimes those pictures don't really translate into words. I may revisit this one day.

Warnings: D-slur (reclaimed by Ellie in one line), allusions to prior assault (an unwanted kiss that could've been more had another character not stepped in), and that's about it. Oh, and a little swearing, but this is an imagine for a character from Deadpool. If you can't handle swearing, you're on the wrong blog.

Synopsis: You’re into Ellie, but she’s with your good friend Peter. She treats you like you don’t even exist, and in the few instances she does acknowledge you, it’s usually just to make some sarcastic remark. You’re head-over-heels, though, and decide to deal with your unrequited love by writing her a song she’ll never hear.

“Fuck, that movie was terrible,” Michelle groans. “I’m just glad it was a matinee show and we didn’t have to pay as much to see it.”

“The special effects were good, but can’t Disney just leave stuff alone?” Peter agrees.

“Next thing you know they’ll be making a live action Toy Story, as if the original wasn’t traumatizing enough. I don’t want to imagine Watermelon as a sentient being. She’s seen some shit,” you snicker.

“Who’s Watermelon?” Ellie asks with a dark chuckle, and you clam up. How had you forgotten she was here?

“Oh, uh, nobody.”

“Don’t tell me you still sleep with a stuffed animal,” she snarks. “You really do need to grow up.”

“Don’t be mean, Ellie,” Peter protests.

“Watermelon is cute, everybody likes cute things!” Yukio adds.

“I think a live-action Toy Story could be cool,” Ned says. “It’d look really good if they did stop-motion animation.”

“Oh, you’re right!” you chirp. “It’d be quite the undertaking, but it would look badass.”

“I think you’re using that term a little loosely,” Ellie grumbles, and you have to stop yourself from frowning, instead you laugh it off. Why does she always pick on you? Sure, she’s got a witty remark for everybody, but she’s way harder on you. It hurts, she really is so gorgeous and funny and mysterious and everything you want in a woman, but she acts like she can’t stand you.

Ellie and Peter head off together, Peter still hasn’t gotten around to getting his license and Ellie seems happy to give him a ride. You really don’t stand a chance.

You and the others pile up in MJ’s SUV for some late-night band practice.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” you admit to Yukio in the furthest row back.

“You can,” she insists. “You’re a way better singer than Lola, anyways.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to give her the wrong impression, I-”

“For the millionth time, Y/N, you didn’t. If she hadn’t left the band, we would’ve kicked her out. Not just for cheating on me, but for hurting you.”

“I guess,” you sigh. “Why can’t you sing instead?”

“Because I’m flat.”

“Yukio, breast size doesn’t have anything to do with singing ability, you’ve just gotta practice,” you joke.

“Shut up!” she giggles, punching you in the arm. “Plus, when you sing, the songs are being sung as they were written. We’re getting the real feelings.”

“Speaking of… I have something new I’m thinking about sharing tonight. Do you mind if I text you the demo?”

“Ooh, a first look! Hell yes!”

You text her the audio file and she puts in a wireless earbud, nodding along. Her smile gets wider and wider as she listens, and when she’s done, her assessment shocks you.

“Oh my gosh. You’re into Ellie.”

“What?!” you squeak. “No way!”

“You are! But, uh-”

“Don’t even say it. I know I don’t have a chance in hell. She only tolerates me for the sake of you and Peter.” Despite the gloominess of your tone, Yukio gets a mischievous glint in her eye, it confuses you. But, that’s just Yukio. Her thoughts are all over the place; she and Ellie balance each other out that way. They dated a couple of years ago, but it didn’t work out. They decided they were better off as friends.

“Screw that other song, we’re using this as the lead single. Everybody’s gonna love it, do you have the sheet music?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s in my bag.”

“Awesome.” Yukio’s grinning like she’s won something. Is the song that good? “We’ll have to practice this one a lot, we definitely need to have it ready by the concert this Friday.”

Right. Liz’s 19th birthday party. Apparently Peter had convinced her to let the band play, it’d be cheaper than hiring a more established artist.

“Our first paying gig? I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you remind her. She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“We’re mostly gonna be playing covers of Liz’s favorite songs, and she only has so many. We’ve gotta beef up the setlist with originals, and this is perfect! Has that pop-y fun vibe, it’ll fit right in.”

“Yeah, but if it’s that obvious how I feel about her after one listen-”

“Only because I already had a hunch after Daft Pretty Boys,” Yukio clarifies cheerily, and you sigh.

“Fair enough.”

The gang makes it to Michelle’s house, travelling down to the side door and going into the basement from there. MJ’s parents have encouraged her creativity from day one, and were ecstatic when the band was formed. You speculate that they’re mostly happy that she’s made friends. Writing and photography can be lonely hobbies.

“Y/N has something new for us!” Yukio chirps.

“That fast?” Ned’s surprised as you hand him the sheet music. He skims it. “Holy shit, this is a wicked solo! Thanks, Y/N!”

“Well, I’m hoping highlighting everybody else’s talent will disguise my lack thereof,” you chuckle.

“Don’t be stupid, we’ve all heard you sing backup,” MJ says. “You’re Ryan Ross, she’s Brendon Urie. I’m just glad we booted her out before she decided she was gonna be the only pangolin in The Pangolins.”

Everyone laughs at that.

“Let’s try it,” Michelle continues, and everybody agrees. After a sound check and a few runs of the song, it’s still clumsy, especially on your part. You’re not really used to playing and singing at the same time, outside of backup vocals, which require far less focus.

“I suck,” you mumble, but it happens to be into the microphone.

“You don’t!” Ned insists.

“With that attitude, we’re not going anywhere,” Yukio says. You hate it when she gets to the tough love stage of her support. You wish she’d stay in the shallow reassurances stage, it’s easier to brush off. “You wouldn’t be the lead singer if we all thought you sucked. We would’ve just put an ad in the paper. You’re awesome, get over it!”

You sigh.

“Fine. Thank you.”

“Say it,” she insists.

“I’m awesome,” you huff, it’s hard not to smile when Yukio tries to look serious.

“Damn straight,” Yukio says. “Or, I guess not, considering that was about Ellie.”

“Yukio!” you squeal.

“That’s about Ellie?!” Ned exclaims.

“Obviously,” MJ scoffs, fiddling with her tuners.

“Is it that obvious?!” You can’t help but feel embarrassed. Ellie probably knows exactly how you feel, maybe that’s why she dislikes you so much. Her boyfriend’s stupid friend has a crush.

“Wait, but at the beginning…” Ned trails off, before laughing. “Oh my gosh, I get it.”

“Get what? Oh… Y/N, have I ever told you how much I love you?” MJ asks.

“I- I love you, too?” You’re puzzled by their words, but you’ve got enough on your plate.

“Let’s go ahead and practice some of Liz’s favorites while we’re here,” Yukio suggests. “It’s a pretty big set list.”

You practice until dinner, getting a pizza and deciding to make a night of it since it was a little late for Michelle to be dropping you all off at your assorted residences.

You all sleep on a pallet in the basement, and despite your worries, you manage to get some rest.

Over the next few days, The Pangolins practice at every free moment, until it’s finally time for the party.

“So, just pictures of everything?” Oh, shit. She’s not supposed to be here. How are you supposed to sing that song with her here?

“Yeah! I know with how many people are coming, I’m probably not going to get as much time as I want with everyone, so pictures will be a good way to remember the night.”

“Why not just invite less people?” Ellie wonders.

“I want all my friends to be here,” Liz explains. “How’s the sound check going, Y/N?”

“It’s going great,” you say into the microphone, demonstrating the quality and volume with a smile. “Thanks for letting us play here tonight.”

“Well, Peter said you guys are great. Are you really gonna debut your best song so far tonight?”

“Oh, um,” you stutter, stepping away from the microphone. “Maybe not.”

“What? Oh, come on, please, it’ll make the night even more special! You’re playing covers of all my old favorites, sing me my new favorite!” Liz presses, but she’s not being demanding or bratty, she seems genuinely excited.

“If the birthday girl says so, who am I to say no?” you concede. Hopefully Ellie will be too distracted taking pictures. “You have way too much faith in me.”

“If you don’t quit with the self-deprecation, I’m gonna duct tape your mouth shut,” MJ interjects.

“But, Daddy, how will I say my safe word?” you tease, giggling at your own joke with the rest of the group. Yukio’s laugh seems the loudest. Ellie glares.

“We should practice a song!” Ned suggests.

“Ooh, a private show!” Liz seems excited.

“Any requests?” you ask her. Ellie’s resting scowl intensifies. If she’s more pissed off the more you open your mouth, you’re not sure how she’s gonna survive a night of you singing without going nuclear.

“Oh, oh, Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, please?”

“You’ve got it,” you agree.

The song goes smoothly.

“What happened to the old singer?” Ellie asks, clearly unimpressed.

“You didn’t tell her?” you ask Yukio, grateful for the excuse to turn away from the sharp-tongued girl you adore.

“Didn’t want her to get the wrong impression,” Yukio explains. “She already makes enough rude comments towards you.” Yukio leans over her drum kit to give Ellie a pointed look.

“Oh, wait, shit, I didn’t mean it like that. You, uh, sound good, Y/N.”

You can’t help but whip your head back to look at her with a flabbergasted expression.

“What?! It’s true,” Ellie defends herself.

“Uh, yeah, but you just said something nice. About me. Liz, do you mind checking her for a fever?”

Liz obliges for the sake of going along with the joke before quickly withdrawing her hand.

“Jeez! I know you were kidding, but she’s burning up,” Liz declares.

“My internal temperature is higher due to my mutation,” Ellie quickly explains, looking a bit bashful. “Besides, I say nice shit about Y/N all the time.”

“No, you don’t,” the whole band says in unison, including you.

“Well, clearly I shouldn’t if everyone’s gonna make a big fucking deal about it,” she retorts, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna go get some pictures of the decorations before there’s a bunch of fucking people here to block them.”

She stomps off in her heavy boots, and The Pangolins get back to work, putting on the final touches and making sure all the blocking looks right.

Soon enough, guests start flooding in, and Liz zips around to greet them, eventually meeting up with Peter and keeping him with her. He and Liz eventually pull Ellie away from her picture-taking, confident she’s done enough and needs to just relax and enjoy the party.

So much for distracting herself with work, she thinks.

They sit on the couch and eat, the dining room was monopolized by The Pangolins due to its elevation and space.

Ellie’s mesmerized by the way your fingers move until she hears Peter talking to Liz. They really are a cute couple.

“You really do need to hang out with us. Yukio told me Y/N thinks Ellie and I are a thing,” he says.

“Gross, you’re like my annoying little brother,” Ellie remarks.

“And you’re like my bitchy older sister,” Peter retorts with a shit-eating grin.

“Both of you, quiet! They’re about to play the new song. You’re in for a real treat, Ellie.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

Liz gives Peter a confused and slightly irritated look.

“I haven’t said anything to her, I didn’t know how,” Peter squeaks, blushing a little at the look in his girlfriend’s eyes.

“Explain, quickly,” Ellie demands.

But, then you start to sing again.

“Y/N-” Peter starts.

“Shut up.”

“But you asked-”

“I said, shut up,” Ellie insists.

“You know me as your boyfriend's goofy friend. I seem to have this effect on women, and your friends aren't as goofy as I am. I try my best to keep you entertained, always laughing at the jokes you are saying. I nod my head when you make a point, oh oh…

“Kiss me, kiss me with your eyes closed! Whisper that your heart shows all I want is you, yeah, you… Hold me, hold me I'm your bunny! Tell me I'm not funny, tell me I’m legit! ‘Cause I feel weak, in your hands and your feet… A precious end, I’ll never feel your touch…”

Ellie continues to listen to the song, all expression drained from her face. All the yearning in the words and your voice, all you want is…

Ellie looks at Peter, who’s looking at her with a triumphant smile.

“I told you.”

Ellie feels like she’s about to faint. She notices you’re talking to Liz— when did she leave? —your hand over your mic. Despite the knowledge that Liz is taken, Ellie gets jealous. You look so happy to be talking to Liz, to just about any girl you talk to.

She wishes you’d smile at her that way.

You nod at whatever Liz said, and the band starts packing away their instruments. Liz sets up her phone on some Bluetooth speakers, and songs that sounded so much better when you were singing them start to play.

No! Ellie internally protests. Sing for me again, please, sing that stupid song about how you think I don’t like you.

Yukio’s dragging you somewhere. Gosh, Ellie wishes it was her holding your hand.

Suddenly, though, you and Yukio are approaching her. She knows what she has to do.

“So, what’d you think of our- Eek! Finally!”

Ellie parts from the kiss to tell her to fuck off and not ruin the moment before kissing you again.

“Holy fucking shit,” you breathe. “Uh, I thought you were-“

“Dating Peter?! Seriously?! Do I need to write ‘dyke’ on my fucking forehead? I practically already have with the way I dress and act and-”

“I, uh, I try not to make assumptions,” you mumble, fingers touching your lips.

“I’m, uh, sorry for not asking.”

“No, it’s- It was good. I’ve wanted you to do that for a while. It’s just that that was the first time somebody’s kissed me, since, uh…” Your eyes dart to Yukio, who’s ruffling Ned’s hair and laughing.

“Yukio?!” Orange flickers in Ellie’s eyes for a moment, but she keeps it under control.

“No, no, of course not, uh… The old singer, Lola. She and Yukio were dating, but apparently I was the one she really had her sights on, and… She was entitled. Thought that because she wanted me, I must want her. That wasn’t really the case, I was already pining over you. Didn’t stop her from forcing a few kisses on me and trying to go further. If Yukio hadn't shown up early with cupcakes, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

“I am such an asshole,” Ellie says softly. “Can I kiss you again? The right way.”

“I’d say what you did before was pretty right, but sure,” you consent.

Her kiss before had been rough, needy, and impatient. Just the way you like it. This, though, this is gentle, soft, and exploratory. You tangle your hands in her hair and kiss her harder. She moans into the kiss before pulling away, bewildered.

“That was…” Ellie trails off, trying to find a positive adjective that won’t sound to frilly or lovesick.

“A mistake, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, fuck, no. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she corrects you. “Just- Didn’t really know how. Even when you were kinda flirting with me at first, I just thought you were messing with me, so I- I am so stupid.”

“So am I,” you scoff. “I thought you were dating Peter.”

“I was spending a lot of time with him, but… I was just using him as an excuse to avoid you so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. And I was asking him for advice. I figured if he could land somebody as far out of his league as Liz, maybe I stood the slightest bit of a chance with you. But I kept fucking it up. I’d just get so nervous, all of my compliments would turn into insults, all of my teasing turned into straight-up cruelty. I don’t know how you actually like me.”

“I’m a little bit of a masochist, I’ll admit,” you tell her. “I’m really glad you don’t hate me.”

“I’m really glad you don’t hate me,” Ellie replies, but she can’t help but think that what she‘s really saying is ‘I love you, too.’

She takes your hand, and you two rejoin your friends, swept up in a group hug. They wanted this to happen almost as much as you two did.

[fantasticstoryteller]

New Amsterdam Chapter 56

Daredevil stood broodingly on the roof, like a living gargoyle protecting his small corner of the city from those who would prey on it. Head bowed slightly to allow his ears to hear even the slightest of wrong-doing in the city beneath him.

“Yoo-hoo! Double D!” called Wade as he tumbled into place on the roof next to the masked vigilante. “How are you—urk!”

One of Daredevil’s hands closed around Wade’s throat. “Deadpool,” he said stoically.

Deadpool pushed him away and he allowed it to happen. “Man,” said Wade. “What’s with the grabby-grabby?”

{Rude. We should shoot him.}

[We’re not going to shoot him. We came for his help, remember?]

{If you’d just let us kill the bastard—}

Daredevil sighed. “What do you want?” he demanded tersely.

“Oh. I see. Brooding and morose. Well, I didn’t come—heh heh—to talk to the masked Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, I came to talk to the Badass Blind Lawyer.”

“A lawyer.” Wade was certain that if Daredevil’s mask was emotive—or had, you know, eyes—the man would be rolling them. “Why do you need a lawyer?”

“It’s not for me!” protested Wade. “It’s for my boyfriend! Well, I think he’s still my boyfriend? He hasn’t broken up with me yet, and he needs a lawyer.” Wade paused. “And, uh, I’d appreciate it if you could pretend to be taking the case pro bono. I’ll pay you,” Wade added quickly, “but he gets a little—finicky about that sort of thing.”

“You—have a boyfriend.”

“Aw, and he’s the sweetest thing!”

[He might not still be your boyfriend. You did kidnap him.]

“I had to! He would die otherwise!”

“Is that what you need a lawyer for?” asked Daredevil.

{Please. As if we’d need help with that.}

[Given that your plan was to kidnap the hot boyfriend who loved us, yeah. We need help.]

“I can hear your curiosity,” taunted Wade in a sing-song voice. “But no. We’ve got it covered.”

[We do not, you costumed ass!]

“So what do you—your boyfriend, need a lawyer for?”

“I think his landlord is pulling some shady, and I mean super shady, Shady Pines, shit with his lease.”

“That’s—surprisingly appropriate,” said Daredevil slowly. “I’ll look into it tomorrow.”

“Thanks, mi amigo!”

“Now go away. I have things to take care of.”

“Things? What things? Maybe I can help?”

[Maybe you can make it worse.]

“You don’t know that! Neither of us know what’s going on yet!”

Daredevil sighed. “This gang is having a meeting with a new player. I need to see,” the vigilante continued over Deadpool’s giggles, “if it’s something I’m going to have to interfere with.”

“Well, give me the down-lo on the low-down, and maybe I can help.”

“Can you shut up?” demanded Daredevil. He took a deep, slow breath.

{Wonder if that helps him calm down?}

“Deadpool,” said Daredevil slowly, carefully. “I need to go in stealthy. I do not want them knowing I’m there.”

“No problem,” Wade drawled. “Let’s go.” Daredevil glared at him, but turned to lead the way.

[He’s probably realized that fighting you over this will be loud enough to alert the people he’s trying not to alert.]

{Be vewy vewy quiet. We’ah hunting Dahdevil.}

[Shut up!]

“Shut up!” hissed Daredevil, alerting Wade to the fact that he was humming the Ride of the Valkyries under his breath.

“Sorry,” hissed Wade as they snuck into the abandoned theatre. Well, abandoned by the officials, anyway. Judging from the clutter below, it seemed that squatters had moved in. Judging from the tagging on the walls, these were gangs.

[Odd. Why isn’t the outside of the building marked?]

That—was a good question. Wade watched carefully. There were several gang members lounging on what used to be a stage while even more hid in the shadows on either side of the stage.

{Look! They’re wearing the red scarves as belts!}

They were. Wade silently swung around Daredevil to get a better look. The one in the center of the stage was clearly the leader and even though he was lounging in an oversized beanbag chair, Wade could tell he was tense. They all were. Whoever this “other player” was, they were on edge.

Footsteps alerted Wade to the new arrival and he turned as a teen walked confidently towards the stage, huge wings tucked close to her back.

{Isn’t that the girl we raised in another reality?}

[You mean, ‘Isn’t that the girl Peter raised in another reality.’ I seriously doubt she’d still be alive if we raised her.]

The teen on the chair began a slow clap as she approached and she stopped just before the stage, still mostly shrouded in shadows. “If it isn’t our very own interferer,” the teen said as he heaved himself out of his chair. His hands shot into his pockets and Wade could see the handles of guns in them.

[She’ll be fine. Remember, she heals faster than we do.]

“Interferer?” drawled the girl. “That’s rich, considering what you’ve been doing.”

What was she talking about?

[If you shut up and listen, we might find out.]

“Not something we’ve been able to do. And we didn’t attack your little sister again.”

{She has a little sister?}

The girl spread her arms wide. “They’re all my little brothers and sisters,” she said before settling her hands over her hips.

Wade was many things. He was flaky, he was insane, he didn’t have a good grasp (or any grasp, really) on social norms. But he knew a perfectly balanced fighting stance when he saw it.

[Maybe we did raise her.]

“Oh, they are? Then where were you when we started?”

“Not here; that’s for sure. You never would have gotten as far as you did.”

“Do you even know what we’re doing?”

“Do you?”

The banter was light, almost playful. The looks and body language were anything but. Wade stared, fascinated by the scene in front of him. The boy had the high ground (literally), but it was clear the girl was in charge. How had Daredevil put it? The girl was a player.

But—when had that happened? As far as he knew, she’d been in town for less than two weeks. How had she gotten mixed up in this mess, whatever it was?

“I know about the demon,” said the boy as he leaned forwards. Wade shifted. He recognized that tone of voice; it was the same one those religious freaks who’d tortured mutant kids had used. “I saw it with my own eyes.”

“And it was tall, had eight legs, six eyes, and huge fangs,” replied the girl. She sounded—bored, of all things. “And you saw it transform right in front of your eyes, from a normal person you never would have looked twice at if you passed them in the street.”

[That was specific.]

The boy faltered and the girl nodded. “Yeah; I’ve seen it all before. You’re not the first to be roped into this, but I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you are the last.” Even from the catwalks Wade could see the amber eyes glitter. “I have my own problems with that one.”

“Oh? And what about the seal?”

The girl scoffed and rolled her eyes. “There is no seal,” she told him firmly. “There never was a seal. You’re being used to create a horde of monstrous minions.”

“Better to walk at the Devil’s side than be in his way,” said the boy, recovering remarkably.

The girl sighed. “I adore how naive you are,” she told him. “I really do.” She paced a step forward. “Those things have been changed. Those things are being controlled by a power-hungry psychopath. Despite all of this—they still need to eat. What do you think they eat?” Another step forwards. “What do you think they’ll eat when that one no longer needs you?”

The boy’s eyes narrowed. “You’re playing with fire,” he told her, voice shaking. She’d clearly said something that hit him hard—but he wasn’t willing to back down.

“Oh, are you referring to the ten armed people you have waiting in the wings? Yeah,” she continued as he broke out into a sweat, “I hate to break it to you, but you’re toddlers attacking a tank. It doesn’t matter how many of you there are, I’m a tank. You can’t hurt me.”

The boy, despite being on the stage and using the height to tower over the girl, took a step back. There was something in that flat tone of voice, something with that subtle hint of exasperation, that showed she was telling nothing but the truth.

“We can try,” the boy said as he pulled out a gun. He shot her.

Daredevil tensed and leaned for a jump down, but Wade stuck out a hand to stop him. He knew the girl would be all right. She had to be—even if she’d grown up in another version of his world, she was raised by him and she wouldn't have survived if a mere bullet could kill her.

The bullet hit the pink leotard, sank inwards—and then bounced back as the girl rounded back out to normal dimensions around where the bullet had been. “This is armor you idiot,” she said as she reached out and caught the bullet. She lined it up on the palm of one hand before flicking it with the other. The bullet grazed the cheek of the boy in front of her—exactly as it would have if she’d shot it from a gun. Impressive, considering it was flattened out of all recognition from the impact with her chest.

“Just to warn you,” the girl said, “I have perfect aim. I didn’t want to kill you.” She gently rubbed at her chest through the material of her leotard and grimaced. “That is changing quickly,” she muttered.

Wade drew himself up to his full height. “You can’t kill these kids!” he announced in his deep, SuperheroTM voice before dropping down in full Superhero landing style.

“That,” commented the girl dryly as he stood up, “is so bad for your knees.”

“I know, right?” said Wade. “But everyone does it!”

“To be fair, most superheroes don’t live long enough for the repeated damage to be an issue,” the girl responded.

“Eek! Dark humor; me likey!” He gave the girl a high five before clearing his throat and donning the voice again. “Spiderman will be pissed if you kill these children.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes and chanted the next part in time with him. “Because with great power comes great responsibility.” She dipped her head for a moment and then looked at Wade again. “Yeah,” she said. “Heard that one a lot.”

He smirked. “I bet you have.” He turned to the boys who were staring at him. They all knew who Deadpool was, and they were hesitating to engage.

“Remember Deadpool,” the girl said impishly, “Spiderman will be pissed if you kill these children.”

[Forget the children. Spiderman’s going to be pissed about Peter.]

{But Peter isn’t pissed!]

“Stay with witnesses,” the girl said grimly. “Hopefully, the army isn’t too big yet.” She turned, gently bumped her fist against Wade’s shoulder and started to walk out. She paused. “I didn’t make a mess in your turf Daredevil,” she said firmly with a wave to the vigilante before continuing out.

“Daredevil?” asked the boy.

The vigilante dropped behind the boy, landing almost silently on the stage. “Yes,” he hissed.

[angelkurenai]

Imagine having the ‘Wired Autocomplete Interview’ with Jake and seeing all the things people have googled about him and you, only to find more ways to flirt with him and tease him.

“Hello, I'm Jake Gyllenhaal.” the man smiled at the camera for the intro.

“And I'm (Y/n) (Y/l/n).” you introduced yourself the same way with a smile while adding “And we're doing a wired-”

“Autocomplete.” Jake added without you even having to look at him.

“Interview.” you ended, your smile getting even bigger when you heard Jake chuckle next to you, already knowing what was on his mind “This is like the perfect intro for us. You wouldn't even need to tell us, we complete each other's sentences on a daily basis like some-”

“Some old married couple. As Ryan says.” Jake completed your sentence once more with a nod of his head.

“Well, at least one of us is old enough, so-” you only shrugged, looking completely serious at the camera and without even having to glance at the blue-eyed man next to you, you knew he was giving you a look so in the end you burst in laughter.

“Ouch!” he placed a hand over his heart “My heart, no, my heart is bleeding! Ah they were not wrong when they said that love hurts.”

“Alright you drama queen, stop hanging out with Ryan and you'll be just fine.” you chuckled at his small act and he grinned as well “Now time for the interview!”

“We'd like you to answer this one question first, before you get the cards.” the person in charge said behind the camera and you nodded your head a bit “Have you ever googled your own name?”

“Googled your own name?” Jake pursed his lips nodding his head with a thoughtful look on his face “I think everybody has at some point, right?” he turned to look at you, comfortable in his chair as you still thought about it.

“Googled my own name. No.” you shook your head looking back at the camera “No I don't think I have googled my own name. Goggled Jake's name? Hell yeah! You bet!” you said so casually your made the blue-eyed man laugh in surprise “I spend hours upon hours googling this dude. So a warning: Half of the questions will be things I searched!”

“I'm-” he still couldn't even breathe properly because of all the laughter “I don't know if I want to ask whether you're joking or not.”

“Do I look like I'm joking, Gyllenhaal?” you raised an eyebrow at him smirking “What you don't want to know is the things I've googled.” you laughed “No, I'm kidding. I have googled your, I won't lie about that, but I think it was back when I was first getting started and I stumbled upon a movie of yours.”

“Oh, makes sense, yes.” he nodded his head “I'd admit I've done it too and it's how I became a huge fan but this will be out on the internet and Ryan won't let me hear the end of it, so... yeah.”

“Alright, we're good. We can get started now, here's the first card.”

“Oh you've played this game before, right? You were with Ryan too, weren't you?” you asked your co-star, taking hold of the first card.

“Yes, yes we have. You've seen it? How were we? I think I've completely forgotten.”

“Oh you-” you shrugged “You sucked.” you looked him seriously in the eyes “Just kidding. Kidding.” you chuckled “Alright... maybe I'm not. But hey, that's a good thing. How much worse can it be this time? Plus, I'm not Ryan and that makes everything 100 times better.”

“I guess it did show our- how do you say it? Our energy.”

“Yeah. That's for sure, I agree: 100% chaotic.” you shrugged, grinning casually while he looked hopelessly at the camera “Alright, onto the actual interview now cause this will get out of hand real soon.” you looked at the card “Oh I see it has your name. So I'll do yours and you do mine, yeah?”

“Sounds about good enough.” he nodded his head before you both looked at the card.

“Is Jake Gyllenhaal-” you pealed the first sticker “In the MCU?” you both nodded your heads as you spoke “Pretty easy. Yes, yes he is. He is Quentin Beck or better known as Mysterio or better known as that little shit in the new Spider-man movie you don't know if you want to love or hate.” you said matter-of-fact with a smirk, glancing at Jake when he laughed “Yeah I suppose you know what character I mean by now. Anyway, I remember I had to drag him to audition for the movie. I said either he auditions or he sleeps on the couch for the rest of the month.He complained like a little kid at first but really what other choice did he have? I could torture him even worse if I wanted to and he knows it. In the end he definitely enjoyed it, though. Don't deny it, Gyllenhaal.”

“I won't, really I won't.” he said when he recovered from his laughter “It was uhm a unique experience that you won't get to live every day, let me tell you, and the character himself is one that in many ways is similar to the kind of characters I want to portray and chose to portray. He is definitely a character to remember and one I will remember for a long time. Plus, we had so much fun on set that it made it all ten times more worth it.”

“Would you say you liked it that much as to play Quentin again?” you asked, leaning back in your chair.

“Oh yeah, yeah absolutely.  I had such a great time, I think doing a Marvel movie as Quentin again would be lots of fun!”

“And then he got to be Quentin in a movie with Deadpool.” you looked at the camera with a grin “And regretted everything he said that day.”

“Don't give them any ideas! Don't!” he said with wide eyes, unable to hold back his laughter though.

“Ryan will be visiting Kevin very soon I predict.” you giggled “Oh that's a movie I'd pay millions to see. But since I can't have it now yet, let's see the next one. Is- Oh this one's tricky. Is-” you pealed the sticker “Oh (Y/n) (Y/l/n) the reason why Jake Gyllenhaal auditioned for 'Light between oceans'? Oh alright-” you laughed “First, how did you google such a thing? This is a whole sentence. And second, I want to hear it from you Gyllenhaal, this is an interesting one. Am I?” you smirked, looking back at Jake.

“Alright, so there's actually a story about this.” his laugh was less nervous than you expected “I did admit I had been a fan for years and of course Ryan knew it and he wouldn't miss a chance to try to point it out. So uhm the promotional tour for the movie 'Life' which I did with him around the same time was no more than a month right after our movie and as you might expect he had to mention it every time we had an interview. One time a question came up about 'Light between oceans' and, well, leave it to Ryan to say that I auditioned for it because I knew you'd be my costar. Which-” he laughed a bit “I have to admit it was true, but I didn't give him the satisfaction back then by saying that yes I wanted to work with you on project that much. And after that it sort of became a big thing, I think, hence the google search.”

“How come I haven't heard of that before? I mean what the hell, I could have used that to my advantage!” you grinned even though Jake shook his head next to you “I think I should keep up with the net more.”

“What about you? Why did you audition for the movie? I don't think we ever talked about that.”

“Oh for me it was even easier. I saw 'making out' and 'Jake Gyllenhaal' in one sentence and I was immediately like-” you snapped your fingers “I'm in!” you shrugged innocently, only to make Jake double in laughter “It was that easy for me. I didn't even care to find out about the plot. I think I remembered to read it about a day before filming started. Let's be honest, I'm just in it to make out with Jake, don't thin I even remember any of my lines now. I only went in to be able to kiss this guy and let me tell you I didn't regret it one bit.”

“That's-” Jake started but pressed his lips as he tried to fight his laughter, or even a smile, but much as he tried he was failing miserably “An interesting reason, I must admit. Certainly good to know.” he glanced at you from the corner of his eyes and you giggled shaking your head.

“Much as I'd like to ask-” you cleared your throat, looking back at the board “I think we're going to get a lot out of this interview so the next one: Is Jake Gyllenhaal... real?” you both snorted “Wow now this! This is something I've googled. You know what?” you glanced at Jake before looking straight at the camera “I don't even know. I keep asking myself the same thing all the time, still no answer. Some would argue, namely Ryan, but-”

“We all know what Ryan would say, so let's just skip that part.” Jake completed your sentence.

“Yes, let's.” you agreed “Ok the next one. Is Jake Gyllenhaal... an actor?” you snickered while Jake made a funny face “Wow someone out there is having some serious doubts about your entire existence buddy.”

“What's up with that? Why am I getting all these weird questions?” he looked at the camera, his voice coming out slightly high pitched “Yes, yes I am an actor... I think. Or at least I try to be, for five minutes. Once a week.”

You laughed as he snickered “Come on! Yes-” you turned to the camera “Yes he is, and an incredible one at that. Whatever Ryan Reynolds tells you after this is a lie because he is jealous and on the occasion a mean little shit. Let me tell you that all jokes aside and I'm 100% serious when I say Jake might as well be one of the best if not the best actor I've had the pleasure to work with in my entire life.”

“Wow, I think I'm going to cry.” he said a bit jokingly but you could also tell there was sincerity in his words “Nobody has ever been that nice to me since I was a baby.” but of course his words were still funny so you couldn't hold back a laugh.

“Alright let's move onto the next one because we've got so many cards left. Ok the last one: Is Jake Gyllenhaal... single? Wow straight to the point huh? Now this-”

“Did you- Did you google this?” he grinned and you laughed.

“Wouldn't you like to know huh?” you winked at him “No, see, I didn't need to. You guys out there though-” you smirked at the camera “You really wanna know huh?”

“I'd like to see you answer this one.” he eased back in his seat.

“Easy.” you shrugged casually before looking back at the camera “No. He's mine. Sorry.” your smile was far from innocent, especially as Jake burst into laughter next to you.

“Have something to say, Gyllenhaal?” you raised an eyebrow at him and he raised his arms in surrender.

“No, no I definitely don't. If you say so, who am I to say no?”

“Gad to hear that. So there you have it.” you grinned at the camera before getting rid of the first card “Onto the next one!”

“Oh it's going to be a long interview!”

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[xaz-fr]

Starting a new mini vignette series called Us Two. Basically: I'm my own dragon pairings biggest fan (except maybe newt....) and damnit I want to write my pairings doing CUTE SHIT (for the most part)

Up first we got Layali, my Progenitor, and Najaïr, a Shard of the Windsinger. I love them both SO MUCH like wow. I love them ;0;

@deadpool-scar-bro @hikayelastoria @cornsnoot-fr @redlion-fr @mushroomdraggo @murdoch-fr @tales-around-sornieth @frxemriss @rainhearts-hatchery @rexcaliburr-fr @starry-ampelope @reanimatedfr @ally-fr @golden-lionsnake​ @rookfern​ @khadjin-fr (let me know if you’d like to be added to the lore pinglist)

The wind made the bamboo wind chimes clatter softly. Layali had made them. Najaïr had never known anything like wind chimes before. With the Bamboo Snakes it was utilitarian or mechanical because of Kala. He’d never seen something to have because it made you happy unless it had another use. Bonten thought it was stupid to have extra ‘garbage’ to carry around with you. Najaïr didn’t totally disagree because it he did hate hauling stuff around. As the biggest of the Snakes other than Kala he always had had to carry everything and any extra thing was something he had to shoulder. So. Not fun.

But Nadalin just made the wind chime wherever they stayed for more than a few days. She hung it above their sleeping nest and when Bonten complained about she’d just look into his bright green eyes and tell him to do something about it if it made him so upset. Bonten, always more of a whiner than a dooer… never did. Najaïr didn’t mind. He liked them.

He was laid with Layali in their nest. Her slight form was curled against his in the pre dawn light, sleeping soundly as he was watching the wind chime. He liked that she slept so soundly. She said she used to sleep so horribly before, rarely getting a full night’s sleep, rarely sleeping without nightmares. But not with him. He had an arm around her shoulders as she cuddled against him, watching the sway of the bamboo and listening to the chime. He knew Jos was keeping watch a distance off with Green.

He sat up, still looking up when something started to move across the sky behind the leaves of the bamboo. It was a huge thing. Next to him Layali woke with a noise of complaint.

“Najaïr? What it is?” she muttered in Shingari, pulling on his arm. His ears perked when off in the distance he heard the high pitched thunder.

“Get up, c’mon,” he pulled her up.

“Whaaat?” she complained but did disturb their leaf and bamboo nest as she got to her feet, rubbing her eyes.

Using mostly his own magic and wing power he pulled her into the air. “You’ll see. C’mon,” he said urgently. Layali got her wings under her by the time they crested the bamboo tops.

Up this high dawn was more pronounced. The horizon was starting to lighten, the bamboo forest turning almost pink as a soft dawn peeked over the rising and falling mountains of the Ascent. “Look, look,” he pointed up and into the distance.

“Oh!” she cried. Out in the distance was a pod of sky whales. Three mothers with two calves and maybe a male. They played high up in the low hanging clouds, the young skimming against the bamboo to reach an itch they just couldn’t scratch. They were soft gray and green with curled and winding markings across their flanks with three sets of pectoral fins and short flukes meant more for speed that allowed them to swim quickly through the sky and clouds.

“C’mon, let’s go see,” and he grabbed her hand and started pulling her towards the pod. She didn’t fight him and when two Wind dragons wanted to fly somewhere they did so at speed. It took them moments to get closer to the pod.

The calves noticed them first and swam close to their gigantic mothers. But the mothers recognized them as the Windsinger’s children, same as they and were unbothered by the two small dragonoids flying between them. Even the babies were nearly as large as Najaïr had been before he’d taken on this form, their mothers truly massive next to them, larger than Imperials, larger than anything Najaïr had ever seen.

Layali let go of his hand to go closer to one of the calves. He just watched curiously and smiled when she coaxed it from the shadow of their mother. The calves were quicker than their mothers with greater dexterity and could almost keep with Layali’s casual flying but were very excited and keen to do so. Najaïr watched for a moment not really knowing what he was seeing. It took him far too long to realize she was playing with them. He hadn’t grown up playing with anyone else other than Kala and Jeddie and even that was never like this. He didn’t really know what play looked like. And now he saw Layali doing it and it felt like his hearts were much too large for his chest in a good way? He was a confusing feeling. He quickly flew over to her to play a chasing game with the calves.

Layali was more nimble in the air in this form than he was and didn’t just fly circles around the calves but him too. Watching how graceful she was made him smile. She looked so different from the girl he’d found on the Plateau bleeding from the nose. It made him happy seeing her like this, flying freely through the air, catching both his tail and the calves’ tails as she flitted around them. She made him dizzy and he didn’t want it to stop.

But it did have to come to an end. The pod was moving on. The mothers sang to their children as the sun broke above the low clouds, bathing them in glamorous golden sunlight, beckoning them away from the dragons to follow the pod. Layali called after them in Sinhgari and Najaïr smiled. Then she flew back to him and he felt his skin prickle all over like his scales were raising as she brushed against him.

“That was fun,” she said.

Najaïr’s mouth worked a moment, caught off guard with being asked to speak. “Y-yeah,” he blurted out, feeling really stupid.

“Do you want to go after them?” she asked him, stopping to hover next to him, her butterfly patterned wings barely moving.

“I think Bonten would wonder where I went,” he said.

She shrugged, “I guess,” she said.

“But if you wanted to-- I’d go anywhere with you,” he blurted out.

She giggled. “That’s sweet,” she said. “But we shouldn’t make the “Shard Chosen” any more cranky than he already is,” she snickered.

“Right,” he said. “We could stay out here a little longer,” he said.

She flew a bit closer to him, the clouds beneath them turning the color of white gold. “That’d be nice. I like it when it’s just the two of us. No Snakes. No Bonten,” she curled her rosette patterned tail around his and Najaïr felt both his hearts pounding like crazy in his chest.

“Me too,” he said. They were closer now than dragons could usually get. Only because they were both so skilled at Wind magic could they get within touching range without needing to move forward.

“Najaïr,” she said, sort of looking at the clouds, sort of at him. He was only looking at her. “You know,” she tapped her lips thoughtfully, “There’s a thing my old clan would do- well, the couples anyway,” and he sort of stopped hearing for a moment. All he could hear was the pounding of his hearts. He was able to hear properly after a few seconds, “”Have you heard of such things?”

“I’ll be honest,” he said, “I didn’t hear a thing you said.”

“What?” she seemed hurt.

He grabbed her hand, which surprised her, and pulled her as close as their big wings could accommodate and keep up their slow beats. He put her hand against his chest and she could feel the furious beating of his hearts through his thin skin. “I can barely hear you over the sound of my hearts,” he said softly, the second one only started beating like this when I met you.”

Her face softened. She took her hand off his chest and instead put his hand on her chest. “Mine too,” she said and he could feel the pounding of her hearts in her chest, making her soft, brown, skin thrum under his fingers. He smiled slightly.

“They’ve never done that before,” he said, licking his lips.

“No?”

“No.”

She smiled softly, “You know why?”

“You know why?” he asked, green eyes getting big. She sort of giggled.

“So what I was saying before,” she said. “It’s something those in my old clan did when they found someone who made their body do things they weren’t expecting.” He nodded, he wanted to know. “Just, this,” and she carefully pressed her lips against his. It was a funny feeling but he liked it immediately. He didn’t know what it was but it felt great and he was sure he wanted to do that again even as she pulled away.

“Oh,” he said.

“What do you think?” she asked him.

“I think one; we shouldn’t tell Bonten about that at all or he’d get real mad,” he said in a sort of staccato sing song tone that made her laugh. “And two; we should definitely do that again,” he continued in the same verse.

She just laughed again, “You’re lucky I like you or I’d say no after that silly voice you just used,” she said and cupped his jaw with both hands and pressed her lips against his again. It felt so nice he forgot to keep beating his wings and they started to fall towards the earth.

They caught the air in their wings as they broke through the bottom of the clouds. Najaïr wrapped them in a pocket of Wind magic with a hard flap of his wings and kept them levitating so they didn’t even have to fly anymore. He liked that better as she got very close to him, pressing her chest up against his, and kept kissing him.

[bakugou-tm]

Could I request that Bakugou was having issues with his s/o pomeranian dog who barks at him often when he is too close to the S/o. If he doesn't listen, the dog would bite his ankles as a response. The dog and Bakugou somehow get in one term when the dog bites Deku ankles and chase him off away from the s/o. XD I AM SORRY! I JUST HAD TO! Can the s/o be fem!reader? and it can be hcs or scenario

AWh this is a cute idea I love it. There is a tiny bit of nsfw in the beginning but only because I wanted Bakugou to get cockblocked by a pomeranian, it was too good not to write. Hope you enjoy!

The date night Bakugou and his girlfriend had was coming to a wonderful end, at least to the public’s eye that was. He still had loads of plans with you.

After the fancy dinner he was able to score at a hole in the wall restaurant downtown, his s/o was rather pleased to find no paparazzi waiting. Just a wholesome meal with the two of you, both of you talking about your current lives and futures.

Now as the two of you tried to walk down the hallway, the ash blond grinned at the sound of your whimpers and giggles mixed into one when he kissed down your neck while trying to walk down the hallway to her apartment.

“Katsu..” You muttered, taking large bigfoot like steps while trying to walk over him without causing you both to fall while his lips caressed every bit of your skin, “Can’t we wait till we get inside you kinky little shit?”

Bakugou chuckled at this, not even giving you time to fish out your keys before slamming you up against your door, “You’ve been taunting me with that fucking dress all night long.”

“Babe come on I can’t.. get the k..keys in the door.” You muffled out in between kisses, your hand feeling the knob behind you to find the key slot until the ash blond bit sharply on your neck causing a sharp moan to escape your lips, “Katsuki! The neighbors will hear us!”

“Like I give a fuck..” Bakugou hissed against your neck, a smirk forming on his lips while you breathlessly leaned your head against the door until your key finally jammed into the socket, your wrist viciously turning it causing the door to fall open.

If it weren’t for your boyfriend’s strong arms you would have crashed to the floor, but luckily he caught you before pressing you back against the nearest wall, letting his leg kick your door shut.

“Now I’m not holding back shitty girl.” The ash blond growled, his calloused hands grabbing under your thighs and lifting you into his arms, a burst of giggles escaping your lips while your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist.

Kissing Bakugou was almost like a workout within itself, he was restless.. passionate about the things he loved. Whenever you got him riled up like this there was no stopping him until the job was done.

“I’m gonna do you over every inch of this fucking house, you hear me?” Bakugou whispered into your ear, his hand squeezing at your cheeks causing a squeak to escape your lips before you melted back into his kiss.

Though, the ash blonds promise didn’t make it very far until the familiar sound of paws patting against the wood floors came to his ears. The very sound making him cringe in expectation as if having war flashbacks of the furry fucktard.

And just as Bakugou predicted, the shrill sound of the small creature barking echoed throughout the house. While he would have preferred to just keep going with you and ignore the damn mutt until it shut up, he let out an annoyed growl when your head immediately perked up, your form already slipping out of his grasp.

“Sparky!” You cried with a grin, tip toeing over to your pomeranian before lifting him in your arms and placing warm kisses on his head, “How could I forget about you my little pumpkin, did you miss me?”

The dog only barked in a chipper manner at you while he licked your face, the bright look of joy on your face making the ash blond even angrier knowing he wasn’t the source of all your joy.

Glaring down to the dog Bakugou folded his arms stubbornly until he noticed the dog look up to him, it was clear that if a dog could glare at someone it was. Barring his teeth up to the ash blond it began to let out a low growl, Bakugou’s eyes widening in shock before he clenched his fists and growled back.

“Your fucking rat always ruins everything.” The ash blond growled, grabbing your arm once you set your dog down before dragging you towards your living room.

Looking up to your boyfriend with a look of offense you pouted your lip out before he pushed you down on your couch, your back hitting the plush cushions rather roughly, “He is not a rat! He’s my adorable little baby.”

“Oi enough about the damn mutt,” Bakugou growled, crawling over your body with a smirk that sent chills throughout your spine while he caged your body in with his muscular arms, “The only thing that’ll be on your mind tonight is me.”

“I think I can manage that.” You purred with a grin before the ash blond re-captured his lips in your own, enjoying the lewd sounds that came from your mouth once more.

All was going great, the boy effectively getting you back into your trance like state from before until he felt something furry against his ankle that was dangling off the side of your couch.

“What the f-UCK!”

The ash blond’s sudden scream caused your eyes to widen, moving yourself up on your arms while Bakugou jumped off you and away from the couch.

“The damn rat fucking bit me!” Bakugou yelled, his crimson eyes fuming with rage as he stood up until the dog charged at him again, sinking his small teeth into the side of his ankle, “Fucking hell stop that!”

Looking at the two go back and forth they both seemed to get distracted by the sounds of your giggles filling the air, both turning their eyes to you as you bursted into laughter on the couch.

The dog only seemed to bark at your reaction, meanwhile Bakugou’s palms began to smoke up as he looked at you with grit teeth, “You think this is fucking funny you asshole?!”

Looking up once you noticed your boyfriend actually growing angry you rolled off the couch, prying your dog off of Bakugou’s leg while stroking him with a loving smile.

“I can’t help it Katsuki you screamed like a girl..” You admitted with a grin, earning a growl from your boyfriend while he watched you stroke your pet, “Sparky was just playing around, weren’t you boy?”

Seeing the two of you play around before him put him in a state of rage, his fists clenching as all he could do was watch the two of you while he had a boner and blood dripping from his ankles now.

“One day while you’re at work, I’m selling that damn thing on the black market.”

Your eyes widened at his taunting words, picking up the pomeranian while bringing him close to your chest, “Then I would sell you on the black market!”

----------

Days turned into months with you and Bakugou and sooner or later the two of you moved in after almost two years of being together.

Sadly along with the two of you moving in together, Sparky joined in as well. Of course the wild dog cockblocked the ash blond many times, making the hero want to drop kick him into the neighbors yard, but for your sake he remained calm.

Eventually as time went on Sparky came to get used to Bakugou being around, only attacked the ash blond when he saw him torment you like pinching your butt or taking something away from you while you begged him to give it back.

It wasn’t until one Halloween party that the bond between Bakugou and Sparky truly became forged, all because of one person they both hated equally.

Midoriya Izuku.

Bakugou practically did everything but beg (because let’s be real Bakugou doesn’t simply ‘beg’) you not to invite the green haired hero, but since he had been your best friend since childhood you didn’t give him much of a choice.

There weren’t many people at the party that Bakugou liked, but you forced him to invite everyone including all of his old classmates so not to be rude to anyone.

The fact that everyone was in his home dressed up in costumes made him a bit uncomfortable, but having his (s/o) by his side was enough to get him through the night.

“How much longer is this damn party?” Bakugou whispered to you as the two of you stood behind your kitchen counter, picking at the snacks you laid out for everyone.

Rolling your eyes you looked up to the ash blonnd with unimpressed (e/c) orbs, “Katsuki it’s only been two hours..”

“Two hours too long..” Bakugou growled in a huff, folding his arms as if he were a stubborn child before he looked back down to your form, a wicked grin spreading across his features, “I just can’t wait to pry that thin little costume off of you.”

You couldn’t help but shutter as you felt your boyfriend’s warm breath creep down your neck as he whispered in your ear, how you wanted to just grab his face and kiss him into an oblivion but you knew not to do so in front of all these people.

“Keep that wild dick of yours under control for once, got it?” You hissed threateningly with a playful grin, the ash blond’s mischievous expression drooping back into his pout as he shot you a glare before whipping his head down to his feet.

Below him stood Sparky resting between the two of you, his big beady eyes looking up at the ash blond while he pouted, “What are you fucking looking at dumb dog?”

Bakugou looked ready to challenge the dog once more until the familiar voice he was hoping not to hear all night came into sound.

“(L/N)!”

Looking up your lips formed into a wide smile when Midoriya came up to you, his green locks gelled up into the All Might hair style while he wore the prior number one hero’s old uniform.

“Izuku you look amazing!” You exclaimed with a grin moving forward to hug him tightly before stepping back, “How have you been?”

The green haired boy smiled back to you, happily hugging you back until he locked eyes with the familiar ash blond he went to school with, his crimson eyes glaring daggers into the boy’s soul, “U..Uh I’ve been good... I like you and Kacchan’s costumes, they look lie Deadpool’s real uniform!”

“Don’t they?” You said with a bright grin as you wrapped your arm’s around your boyfriend’s torso while showing off both of your Deadpool costumes, pointing to the masks on the counter, “Katsuki’s dad is a fashion designer so him and his mom made these for us aren’t they adorable! Oh and look...”

Midoriya chuckled a bit when you excitedly bent down before lifting up Sparky to show how he also had on a mini red suit to mirror Deadpool’s, “We even got one for Sparky, isn’t it adorable?”

“You guys really outdid yourselves..” Midoriya muttered with a sheepish grin, growing uncomfortable upon seeing your dog and Bakugou now glaring down to him.

Nodding with a bright smile you unlatched yourself from Bakugou’s hold and moved closer to Midoriya to catch up with him, much too close for the ash blond’s liking.

It’s not that he was jealous of Deku of all people, he knew where your heart belonged. But just seeing you so overjoyed to see him made Bakugou’s eye twitch, but little did he know a certain pomeranian wasn’t too excited with the green haired boy’s proximity either.

Once you gave Midoriya one last hug your dog went off, his low growling turning into high pitched barks as he latched onto Midoriya’s ankle causing the boy to scream as he quickly jumped away.

The dog only followed Midoriya, nipping at his ankles once more until the green haired boy broke out into a full sprint around the house.

“Oh my god Sparky stop that!” You called out with wide eyes, your gloved hand covering your mouth before you looked to Bakugou with wide eyes, “S..Should we go help him?”

Bakugou smirked, coiling his arm around your waist before pulling you to his side with delighted crimson eyes, “Nahh Deku will be fine babe, besides...

Sparky’s just playing around, right?”

[somethingpoetichere]

DATING SCOTT MCCALL WOULD INCLUDE-

’(I’m sorry if this sucks I wrote it forever ago and just added a few things lol)

You’re the new girl, arriving (before beginning of s4) to stay with your long time friend Lydia Martin, and when you walk through the doors for the first time, Scott accidentally hits himself with his locker

You try your best to suppress a giggle as you open your locker beside his, but end up hitting yourself with your own locker and end up in tears laughing right alongside the brown haired boy

“I’m Scott McCall.” He smiles at you as the both of you finally calm down, extending his hand out for you to shake.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” You grin at him, and Scott is head over heels for you the minute your eyes meet his

Lydia had told him a lot about you already and he’d seen the pictures before, but no description or photo could have possibly done you justice in Scott’s eyes

He helps show you around on your first day, and you end up quickly befriending Scott and his intensely sarcastic yet endearing best friend Stiles

You become really good friends with the pack, as they all fell a little bit in love with your attitude and carefree smile

You stop by your locker after lunch and share a smile with Scott as Stiles corners you once you’re away from Lydia, immediately badgering you about any potential past crushes...

“Did my name come up like once maybe? Or was there a boy with moles mentioned??”

“Sorry about Stiles, he’s been in love with her for years.” Scott apologizes  to you about him for the fourth time, but you laugh it off

“Don’t worry about it, its actually really sweet. I wish a guy cared about me like that.”

As you walk off, Scott smiles dreamily at you and thinks about how you just might have one who does

Becoming really good friends with Stiles, who may or may not send you snapchats of Scott every five seconds captioned with obnoxious and sexual comments

“Our favorite puppy is staring at you again.”

“Really?” You ask as you whip your head around in history class, falling off your chair and making Lydia burst out laughing

“Shut up.”

Scott is left a little more than breathless by you, but puts his breathing problems around you down to his asthma (Lydia and Stiles make fun of him and motion him using his inhaler whenever you walk in the room)

Lydia and Stiles ship you together so hard

Scott uses any excuse he can find to talk to you

“Do you want me to help you with calculus?”

“Scott, have you even taken calculus?”

“Well, no, but I mean how hard can it be?”

You stay behind with Lydia and Malia to watch the boys practice during an offseason training session, doing homework and joking around on the bleachers as you try not to admire Scott for too long

“McCall really does have a great ass.” You add, almost dreamily

“And he can probably hear you.” Lydia smirked at you, laughing loudly as your face flushed scarlet

He definitely hears, and plays even harder after that

You’re screwing around after lacrosse practice, and he’s sort of teaching you how to play and sort of watching in amazement as you flawlessly make shot after shot

“Let’s see how good you really are, hotshot. Up for a game?”

“Terms?” You ask with a brilliant smile, tugging his spare helmet on

“If I win, you go on a date with me.” He smiles confidently back at you, and you shoot him a wink, still a little surprised by his sudden burst of confidence

“And if you lose?” 

“Then you get whatever you want, Y/L/N.”

“Game on, pup.”

In a moment of pure luck, you make one more shot than he does, and when he slumps in defeat as Lydia shouts that five minutes is up, you go to stand next to him

“I know what I want.” You declare with a soft smile, wrapping your arms around his neck, and you giggle lightly as his eyes widen in shock

“Go out with me, McCall.”

Needless to say, he really did need his inhaler after that...

You share smiles with Scott from across the library and through the book shelves while you are supposed to be studying, but neither of you can really focus on your books

You send each other the cheesiest pick ups lines imaginable in class

After he bites Liam, you get text updates from Stiles from Scott’s house, and demand he sends you pictures of Liam duct taped in the bath tub.

“I guarantee you this black mail will come in handy some day.”

You’re staying in Lydia’s guest room, so it scares the living daylights out of you when you hear knocking on your window

You throw the window open, brandishing a baseball bat and knocking Scott off the side of the house, having to stifle a laugh as he lands unceremoniously in the rose bushes

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“You know, I was trying to be cute.” He groans playfully, climbing back up the side of the house

“Try a little harder next time.” You tease, helping him through the window

You stumble a little and he falls through the window, grabbing your waist with lightning fast reflexes and shifting so that he would hit the floor and you would land on top of him

Your faces are literally centimeters apart and you can feel the erratic pattern in which his chest rose and fell beneath you

He can sense just how fast your heart is racing, and looks up at you in wonder as he brushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear

“You’re incredibly beautiful, did you know that?”

In a moment your lips are on his, one hand gripping your waist while the other caresses your face, and your hands are resting on ground beside his face

He rolls you over so that he’s on top of you, and you’re enveloped in his heavenly scent and the warmth that seems to radiate from every inch of his body

You spend the rest of the night watching Netflix, sending a snapchat to Stiles of the two of you captioned “Netflix and chill w your man”

Stiles absolutely loses his shit and is texting you so much that you eventually just shut your phone off

Considering that Liam undoubtedly harbors a small crush on you (as seen when he ran into the goal after you arrived at the field on the first day of practice), they decide you’re their best shot at getting him to come to Lydia’s lakehouse

“Y/N, please?” Scott begs you with that damned puppy dog look of his, and you grudgingly agree (Honestly, even the most heartless of bastards couldn’t say no to that look)

I hate you, you mouth to him as Lydia forcibly pushes you through the front doors, mock pouting as he shoots you a brilliant grin

Scott is a little surprised at the surge of jealousy that runs through him at the sight of you cheerfully persuading Liam to join you at a party that night

“Is it too late to agree with Stiles and chloroform the little bastard?”

“Is Scott McCall jealous?” 

“Maybe.” He answers with a sheepish smile, wrapping an arm around your waist. “I just don’t like other people touching what’s mine, babygirl.”

“Yours? And since when was I babygirl?” You ask with a raised eyebrow and barely concealed smirk

He presses a sweet kiss to your cheek in answer, guiding you into your shared literature class, and you can’t help but smile

God, that boy can make you swoon like no other

He has a smile that literally makes you go weak in the knees, and he has no clue what he does to you

The drive to Lydia’s lake house consists of your phone being bombarded with texts from Scott making sure you’re alright, and you ignoring them as you sing along to cheesy pop songs with Liam

You curse as you note that Stiles changed Scott’s contact name to “daddy” when you weren’t looking

Honestly, Stiles is like that annoying little shit of a brother that you never really wanted but were forced to love anyway

Your contact name in Scott’s phone is “babygirl” so Stiles thought the nickname for Scott was only fitting

After the whole Liam fiasco and the party, Scott drives you home as you wonder aloud how he stays calm during full moons

“Perfect control.”

He doesn’t notice your smirk as you lean over the console, lips hovering just above his ear as your hand rests on his thigh and whisper lowly, “You sure about that, babe?”

He curses as he swerves on the road, and you laugh so hard that you nearly cry

All Scott can do is watch you laugh, just completely and totally enamored with you

For your first date, he picks you up on his motorcycle and takes you for a scenic hike around the Beacon Hills Preserve

He’s definitely the type to open doors for you and pull out chairs, because lets face it, Melissa McCall raised her son to be the perfect gentleman

He takes you home afterwards to meet his mother, and she’s a little wary at first because yeah, she liked Allison, but his first girlfriend also tried to kill a few of his friends and had the crazy family and huntress dynamic thing going on

Melissa is pleasantly surprised when she comes home to find you and Scott in the midst of an all out water gun war in the backyard, and decides you're perfect as you hit Scott with a water balloon right in the face

She smiles as she watches the two of you from the kitchen window, unable to remember a time when her son looked so carefree

You’re huddled in a spiderman towel as Melissa comes outside to call the two of you in for lunch, and you’re hit with a wave of nerves at the thought of meeting his mother

Lunch is filled with the two of you chattering like you’ve been friends for ages, and as Scott grins at the two of you, you can't quite remember why you had been nervous at all

“I hope you know I’m only dating you because I love your mom.”

You often have lunch dates with Melissa, as she needs the girl time and you really just love spending time with her (Scott doesn’t hide how thrilled he is that the two of you get along so well)

“Your phone is ringing.” You point out to Scott as the two of you are inhaling fries at some diner and studying for history together

“I know.”

“Aren’t you going to answer it?”

“They can wait.” He grins at you, kissing your hand

Whenever you’re up late studying, he presses gentle kisses to your shoulder as he pleads for you to just get some rest

The deadpool freaks the absolute hell out of you, and you and Stiles privately share your concerns about it to each other

“I mean, I’m not genetically enhanced or anything, but can I get put on there for being supernaturally gorgeous?”

“Maybe for being a supernatural ass, Stilinski.”

You help Scott take care of Liam, and although Scott certainly isn't fond of the fact that the young beta has a crush on you, he appreciates the calming affect you have on him

Secretly plotting to set Stiles and Lydia up with Malia, Kira, and Scott

Scott loves to surprise you with cute little picnic dates

You proudly wear your McCall sportswear to every lacrosse game

He calls you babygirl when he’s jealous or in private, and the nickname never fails to make your knees go weak

Sweet kisses on the cheek in greeting when you meet up in the halls

Intense make out session in empty classrooms in between classes, during free periods, and sometimes when you manage to talk your way out of history class

Everyone’s heart melts just a little bit at the sight of the two of you lighting up whenever the other comes into view

Making silly faces at each other from across the classroom when the teacher looks away

Every time a new piece of the deadpool is discovered and more names added, you feel your heart break a little

“No one else is going to die, Y/N. I swear on my life.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of, Scott! That you’re going to die. Don’t you get that? I care about you, way more than I probably should, and that terrifies me.” You scream, the anger draining out of you as exhaustion overwhelms you

Scott tucks you into his chest, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head as you let out a sob. “If it makes you feel any better, I care about you way more than I probably should. Thats why I’m doing this, Y/N. I just want you to be safe.”

“You’re a very difficult person to be angry at, McCall.”

“It’s my heartbreaking good looks and killer charm.”

Leaning your back against his chest, and he immediately leans down to kiss the top of your head as his arms encircle your waist

Adventurous dates, like white-water rafting or paint balling... anything that gets your adrenaline pumping

Chill dates, the two of you just cuddled up on the couch watching Friends or attempting to make breakfast together

As long as the two of you are together, it doesn’t really matter what you do

When the school is placed on lockdown during the testing, you’re left panicking alongside Lydia

As soon as the barriers are removed, you tackle Scott to the ground in a hug, half sobbing with worry

“I could get used to a greeting like that”

“please just shut up and hold me”

When Scott fakes his death to attract the benefactor, he has the Sheriff keep you occupied at the station with some paperwork you offered to help with (he didn’t want to worry you)

You find out about his plan a few hours later when he stumbles into the Sheriff’s office looking like death, and after you scream a little about how much of a complete dumbass he is, you collapse in his arms muttering something about him being your dumbass, and Scott can’t help but smile a little

“If you ever pull some shit like that again, I will kill you.”

“Point taken, beautiful.”

He likes to bring you flowers randomly every once in a while just to brighten up your day

Sweet, heartfelt compliments

“You’re beautiful to me in the mornings, at 2AM, after practice, when your makeup is only half done, when you can’t be bothered to brush your hair... you are so goddamn beautiful to me that I still get butterflies when you walk into the room.”

Flirty text messages in class... ALL THE TIME

“those jeans look good on you but they would look better on my floor;)”

He loves when you run your hands through his hair, sometimes just laying across your lap just so you’ll do it to him.

“You are SUCH a puppy, Scott McCall.”

He feels his lungs constrict in his chest just a little bit every time he wakes up next to you, with your bedhead and sleepy smile

FOREHEAD KISSES

Whenever one of you goes to hold the others hand, he brings yours up to his lips absentmindedly to kiss your knuckles and just SHIT it kills you every time

Being each other’s support system 

“You may be the Alpha, but you’re also just a teenage boy- one who is allowed to mess up and feel sorry for himself at times. You’re not perfect Scott- and I love you precisely because of that.”

“You love me?” He asks breathlessly, a brilliant grin on his face

“Obviously, puppy.” 

Hours later when you’re tangled up on bed together, a rerun of Friends blaring in the background and popcorn in between you as he mumbles in your ear, “You know, I love you too.”

Singing along to cheesy pop songs on the radio and having rap battles on long car rides

“SHAWTY HAD THEM APPLE BOTTOM JEANS JEANS BOOTS WITH THE FUR WITH THE FUR-”

Knowing that for the rest of your life, you have the privilege of waking up next to someone who loves you more than you could ever imagine- and being lucky enough to have someone that loving them feels as natural as breathing

“Sometimes I catch myself thinking about the future, and I used to be so scared of what tomorrow may bring, but now that I have you, it’s almost like nothing could possibly go wrong. And even if it does, I’ll still have you- and as long as I have you, I’m always going to be a winner.”

“Of course you are. You’re the hot girl, Scott”

[rantingnbanting]

It’s finally time

Spider-Man: Far From Home Movie Review

Hee hee i had a shit ton of this done already and then my dumbass accidentally closed the tab so yeah :’)

For some reason, this took me so long to want to write. I saw the movie this afternoon, and it’s almost midnight as I’m writing this. Granted, I am on vacation and was a little busy, but I just needed time to process this movie. The movie seemed really dense to me, and I just had to scroll through tumblr looking at other posts to finally get the nerve to write this.

So, the moment you’ve all been waiting for...

***SPOILER WARNING. MAJOR PLOT POINTS AND THE ENDING OF THIS WILL BE DISCUSSED SO IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS DO NOT CONTINUE***

Just as an FYI, I saw this with my sister, a fan of the MCU, and my dad, a diehard DC fan but just saw this for shits and giggles. And I will be referencing endgame a lot during this too.

- Did I like it?

Yeah!!!! I loved the humor in it, and the plot was well written. Mysterio is an awesome character in this, though he is a villain.

- What didn’t I like?

(I’ll go into more detail later) The cgi in this, the lack of some of the topics introduced in endgame, the casts’ age, and some of the Peter X MJ scenes (I said some! I do love Peter and MJ together!)

- Pacing?

Honestly? Pretty good for a marvel movie. Marvel usually has some issues with pacing *cough cough endgame cough cough*, but I was thoroughly impressed with this one. Everything seemed well drawn out, and I was never left feeling that a certain scene was too long/short. Kudos because that I am very picky with pacing lol

- Humor

This movie is probably one the funniest movies in the MCU, and it was one of the most memorable aspects of the movie. The morning announcements made my sister and myself wheeze and I had tears rolling down my face as I cackled. Ned and Betty were the truest presentation of Highschool romance I have ever seen. Starting on a whim, being attached to the hip for a few weeks (maybe even a few months), and then breaking up. I honestly loved them together. I’m happy they didn’t go down the “sad and neglected best friend” route with Ned because he deserves so much better. “I’m strong and sticky” made my stomach hurt because I was laughing so hard. PETER BITCH-SLAPPING FLASH WHEN HE WOULDNT GIVE BACK THE GLASSES. AHDHDBDJDHDJ

- plot?

I thought the plot was really clever. Like I said earlier, anyone could see mysterio’s real side from a mile away, but the way they went about the conflict and the climax of the story was very interesting as well. The only thing is that when they were first explaining the secret plan and thinking everyone, I got a little lost. I did finally realize how the bots produce an illusion, but I kind of had to figure that on my own. I was confused how things were being broken and destroyed by the creatures, but the team said that nothing was actually getting broken because it’s all just an illusion. Idk there were some plot holes, but they got mostly filled, so I’m not worried about it lmao.

- Favorite character?

While I do love Ned with every fiber of my being, he just didn’t have the same spark that he did in homecoming. Maybe that’ll change as I see the movie again, but my favorite character in this movie was definitely Mysterio. Jake Gyllenhaal is a phenomenal actor, and I don’t think anyone could have pulled off Mysterio like he did. As I assume most of the internet knows, Mysterio is an actual villain in the Spider-Man comics, and he has powers that create illusions, and I thought that this was a really cool way to portray Mysterio with making him a person. Even without knowing that Mysterio is a villain in the comics, it wasn’t that difficult to predict that he would reveal that he’s a villain. Thinking back, there was a part during the the fight with the fire monster in Prague when something broke off of the Ferris wheel, and I thought to myself “damn, it was almost like the Ferris wasn’t really there” And the illusion scene was by far the coolest scene in the entire movie. It gave me strong Doctor Strange vibes (I wonder why I like I so much lmao) and it showed how vulnerable Peter is. But Mysterio has the aura that just made you love to hate him, and I love characters like that.

- Soundtrack?

It was awesome. Mysterio’s theme is definitely the best. I actually listened to the soundtrack before I saw the movie, and it was cool to hear some of the familiar tunes. It would fucking awesome to hear an ensemble perform the Far From home suite live.

- Peter and MJ

Okay, I understand what they were trying to do with their relationship: display a typical, awkward high school relationship. Ngl, they kind of overdid the awkwardness. Not every relationship is both people constantly stuttering and muttering when they’re next to each other. And that fuckin kiss. It made me so uncomfortable. Me and my sister literally looked at each other and said, “That was the most awkward thing I have ever seen in my entire life” after the kiss. I like that the writers were trying to break from the stereotypical high school relationship, but I do think they overdid the awkwardness a bit.

- WHERE THE HELL WAS MORGAN STARK

HOW DARE YOU RIP A FATHER FROM A BOY AND GIRL AND NOT HAVE THEM INTERACT AT ALL. This is probably one of my biggest critiques because this movie makes it look like they introduced Morgan just to take her away. Same with Harley! Imagine how awesome peter and Harley could be together.

- CGI

Okay, I blame my dad for this. He was the one who introduced me to CGI (Computer-generated imagery) and how to spot it. In marvel movies, CGI is not uncommon, especially in the fight scenes. And I honestly did not give endgame enough credit when it came to CGI hulk. He looked absolutely phenomenal, but I have to say that a good amount of the CGI in this movie was rough. I always say, if you can tell it’s CGI, then it’s bad CGI. It’s really hard to explain, but if something looks like it belongs in a video game rather than in a live action movie, then the CGI is pretty rough. It takes experience to learn how to point it out. Mysterio didn’t look bad the entire time, but some shots of him floating (like the rooftop scene) just looked so fake. And the swinging scene at the end was absolutely horrendous. It looked like MJ was swinging with the peter from the ps4 videogame. The background imagery and the elemental monsters looked real for the most part, and they looked great and real. Just some character mods were really wonky.

- Cast

Okay, I’m going to just say it. What the fuck was that cast? To me, everyone looked so much older than the first one. Like I get it that some of them were “blipped” and aged, but holy shit Ned and peter looked so much older than in the first movie. And, holy shit, Peter is ripped in this movie. I know Tom mentioned in an interview that he was more buff in this movie compared to homecoming, but he was so much more, for lack of better phrasing, wide.

I mean, come on

If the next movie is set in high school again, I honestly have no idea what they will do because, right now, Tom is 23 and Zendaya is 22. And yes I get it that it’s not that old, but if the next one is going to wait 2 years at least for the next Spider-Man movie, they’ll be less like high school students and more like adults.

And while I would have been extremely pissed if they changed the cast, I’m just kind of peeved on how mature the cast looked.

- Ending?

The first ending was what everyone wanted. I could have left the theater then and would have been perfectly fine. But I had to watch the end credits scenes. And then my world crumpled. Hearing Mysterio reveal Peter was so surreal. Almost too surreal... but that’s for another post ;). It provides for a great cliffhanger, but it makes me wonder how they’re going to continue the MCU from here. Obviously, they’re going to do the Black Widow Movie and Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 (hopefully) but what next? Is there going to be another “avengers” movie? If so, what about Peter? Bc he’s in quite the pickle rn. And the pair credits scene just confused me ngl. So, Fury and Hill were never actually there? It does make sense why fury didn’t catch onto some things, but it does allow for some interesting conversations. This plus BARF equals who knows what for the future because this stuff is practically the reality stone. No one knows what’s real or not. And that’s scary. Also, does the multiverse exist? I know Beck and his crew made some stuff up for the purpose of tricking Fury and Peter, but the avengers still used the quantum realm to time travel, and who knows what types of alternate universes that created.

What does the future hold? No one knows

But it does allow for interesting theories ;)

Side note: I really noticed the resemblance in these in ffh

Hey marvel please introduce Deadpool played by Ryan Reynolds into the MCU thansk ily

[negasonicimagines]

blending in - {ellie phimister x reader}

You, El, and Wade hadn’t been on the mission for long before you got to your destination.

The neon, pulsating lights were glowing in the dim streetlight across from the club where you stood; in normal street clothes, your typical black jeans and longer blue sweater, and El, in her leather jacket adorned with pins of every possible cause.

God, those pins were cute. But that was a statement for another time.

“So, I’m gonna head in, do my work the way I do best. Quick penetration, fast withdrawal,” says Wade, Deadpool suit on and katanas slung across his back (as usual).

“Gross,” Ellie mutters under her breath, leaning back against the building across the street as you scoffed and grinned, shoving your phone back into your pocket.

“Think he can come up with something better?” you say, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back on the wall beside Ellie.

“Yeah, just give him a chance,” El says, laughing and frowning at the red-suited man. “Maybe get in there and save us the dramatics, Jeff Dunham.”

“You got it, Angst Monster. Try not to corrupt Fashion Week Felon while I’m doing your work for you,” he says, tapping her lightly on the nose and walking away as you blushed and looked down at your ring-clad hands.

“He’s such a douche,” Ellie says as she turns back to you, smiling and tucking her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. “Lucky I have good company.”

You felt your blush come back. You and Ellie knew each other decently well; Colossus and her had found you fucking up some muggers in an alley behind your apartment, and when your cuts healed instantly, they knew that you belonged at Xavier’s.

Your parents were out of the picture, so when you were offered a warm bed, classes, and a place to stay, you didn’t really complain. You moved into the mansion close to instantly and you and Ellie caught like a house on fire; you had the same sense of humor, dislike for Wade’s slapstick jokes, and, ironically, were already mutuals on Twitter.

It wasn’t long before you started feeling things for Ellie; she was smart, beyond gorgeous, and being around her made your chest feel like your heart was dropping out of your ass. Hangouts were spent with you constantly putting your feelings out of your mind, doing little favors for Ellie, and butterflies anytime your hands accidentally grazed. But, as you kept reminding yourself, although she’s into girls, that doesn’t mean she’s into you. 

“Hello?” Ellie repeats, snapping her fingers in front of your face. “Anyone home?”

“Sorry, sorry,” you breathed, silently admonishing yourself for getting lost in thoughts of your friend. Well, arguably, best friends. You were best friends by each other’s standards. A light blush overtook your face again, and you forced it down with a stone-faced expression. “Just wishing I could be home right about now.”

“Tell me about it!” Ellie half-yelled, causing you to giggle back and, for a second, lose your badly-kept composure. “We could be halfway done with those fucking Domino’s brownie cake things by now-“

“And finishing the Dr. Phil binge, yes, I know, don’t remind me,” you remarked grouchily, lightly tapping her on the shoulder with her fist. “Instead we’re here, waiting for the miraculous case of Benjamin Button’s humor to give us the go-ahead.”

Ellie cracked a smirk then, leaning back and looking at you under the dim glow of the streetlights.

God, she was fucked.

She’d been practically in love with you since the day you’d met, when you’d fought off a catcalled-turned burglar and throat-punched him so quickly that she didn’t even have time to start her powers up; she still remembers the second you’d seen her, knowing what she and the metal giant were there for and how they’d been tracking you for weeks. Your hair was falling over your forehead and your knuckles were bloody, but not for long, until your eyes glowed and the cuts healed and the brilliant smirk of confidence that crossed your features made her weak in the knees.

From then on, it was stolen glances during your chemistry class (ironic, she knows), shared pizzas and dinners on your respective beds while watching shows that made you laugh until you had tears in your eyes, and the occasional hand hold when both of you wanted to leave a party but didn’t know exactly how to say it. She knew that you weren’t straight, that was a given by the amount of things you retweeted, but she didn’t want to make anything weird. Ellie Phimister didn’t do weird.  But the way the light hit you just right in the alleyway, combined with the sweater that you didn’t know she loved made her want to risk it all.

That is, until-

“Hey! A little help, The L-Words!” came Wade’s screech from the earpiece and you were both jolted out of your thoughts and into action. Ellie shoulders started smoking as you walked with confidence across the street and into the club, pushing past sweaty clubgoers and dodging easily spilled drinks. Ellie reached across the threshold and intertwined her fingers with yours to keep each other together, and you kept moving.

You both knew there were four guys in the back, private rooms; guys that were part of a group that had tried various times to break into Xavier’s and wreak havoc, and you weren’t planning on having your rent-free haven blown apart by assholes.

The second the two of you started to move to the hallway leading the rooms, lined by drunken couples devouring each others’ faces, Wade’s voice broke through again.

“Hang on!” he yelled, and you could picture the rapid hand movements that usually came with Wade’s abrupt speeches. “They know you’re coming and they’re getting ready to go out. You have to blend in and throw them off while I do some back door recon. Two minutes. Don’t be an asshole and ruin this for me!”

“This isn’t just about you, asshole-“ Ellie barked into the comm’s receiver, but it blinked out before she could keep going. “Fuck.”

You both heard shuffling coming from the end of the hallway, knowing that you were about to be descended upon, and, against all odds, you two maybe kinda sorta were gonna go with Wade’s plan. The thing is that you had limited time.

“Shit,” you mumbled, looking at Ellie and waiting for her to make the first move, but she looked just as panicked as you; without a second thought, your brain kicked into overdrive, and you grabbed a discarded jacket on the floor and wrapped it around your shoulders. Then, you quickly moved back against the wall and looped your arms around Ellie’s neck.

“What are you doing?” she breathed, hands already forming around your waist.

“Blending in,” you said, and something clicked in her expression. The two of you both seemed to move in at the same time before your lips connected, and then the music started fading away.

Ellie’s hands slowly made their way up your back, her ring-clad pinky finger teasing the skin above your waistline. You moved in closer, tongue teasing her bottom lip to deepen the kiss, and she leaned back into you with equal force as you felt your back start to press against the wall. The two of you were entirely lost, both completely engaged in what was happening between the two of you, and oblivious to the agents and panicked clubbers that were running through the hallway and into the street.

One of Ellie’s thighs moved in between your own, and you felt your hands reach up and tangle themselves in her short, dark hair, finding their home in the longer bits of fringe at the back of her skull. She shivered at your touch, pressing more urgently against you, and the two of you continued your back-and-forth, a mess of hearts and hands and lips. Every repressed bit of attraction was coming out in full force, and there was nothing the two of you could do about it.

She started sucking your bottom lip into her mouth, and you let out a small moan at the feeling, shivering and feeling like your head was about to combust. She seemed to take that as a hint to keep going, this time nipping at your lip, and the pleasure and heat and sharp pain that came with her teeth caused you two to break apart.

“Sorry,” she breathed into your mouth, your fingers reaching to touch your lip.

“Whoa,” you spoke back, feeling the cut heal over in a second and looking back into the eyes of the girl you loved. “Ellie,” you sighed out, like her name was another word for God, and just when you were about to reconnect, Wade’s crimson form appeared over her shoulder.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Ellie, yelled, leaping back and shoving Wade so hard that steam rose from the spot where she’d pushed.

“As much as I hate to interrupt your lovefest, you both fucking MISSED the agents coming through here. I gave you a time distinction, and we missed it. They’re already gone, and we’re gonna have to go reconnect at the X-Fuck House,” Wade said, hands piled on the top of his head in exasperation.

He pushed past the two of you then, and you both looked back at each other, dissolving into giggles and starting to walk away.

Neither of you had spoken, only silently acknowledging that something major had changed in the last few minutes between you two.

On the way out of the building, Ellie reached out and lightly grabbed your arm. “Hey, Y/N,” she spoke in the moonlight, and you were more than happy to look back.

“More than friends?” she said, cut off by your leaning in and kissing the smile right off her face. Yes. Definitely more than friends.

[misc-oneshots]

She gets that from you

Tony Stark x Ex-assassin reader Platonic co-parenting!Wade Wilson/Deadpool x Reader Words: 1920

So this actually ended up more like Iron Man & Deadpool friendship than anything else.

-------

Tony knew that you kept secrets, he knew that those secrets had something to do with the loud mouth mercenary that sometimes found his way into Tony’s tower, ate his food and messed with his stuff. Wade Wilson. Tony hated him. He shouldn’t have, not really, they had the same sense of humour and Tony liked how much shit Wade gave Clint and Natasha. But he couldn’t get over how Wade would break into his tower, pull you to one side and you’d whisper things together and then disappear.

That’s what you were doing now, you and Wade where having a hushed discussion in the corner of the lounge while Tony leaned back in his arm chair, whiskey in hand and blatantly tried stared at the pair of you. You pretended not to notice Tony’s staring whenever Wade appeared because you weren’t ready to have that conversation with him. Your relationship with Tony was barely on it’s feet and you were sure that if you told him about your daughter, Freya, that he’d run for the hills so instead you chickened out. The truth was that all the Avengers had noticed your constant disappearances and your unwillingness to move into the Avengers tower, instead keeping your address off the SHIELD records. Clint and Natasha knew about Freya, they were her god-parents after all.

Hell, Clint had delivered Freya after you’d gone into early labour. Before working for SHIELD you’d worked with Wade as a mercenary, in all ways he was your best friend and for years you never ventured past that, then one night and two bottles of whiskey later you were in bed together. You both agreed that it was too weird and that you’d never mention it again. But then three weeks later you found yourself sat on Wade’s bathroom floor with a positive pregnancy test between you on the floor.

Your sex ed teacher had been right, sometimes it only takes that time. Wade helped you move to a bigger flat and, even though he shuddered at the idea of being a father, he was there for you 100%. But there were no romantic feelings between you and when Wade asked to bring his new girlfriend to Freya’s sixth birthday party last year you were thrilled to meet her. Wade was horrified at how quickly all the women in his life had clicked – Witches come in three you know!

You clinked your tongue at the paperwork that Wade was showing you, it was a bill from your daughter’s school, “When’s it due?” “Couple of weeks, Freya’s scholarship covers most of the cost, but we need to make up the rest.” He mumbled. “Why are they sending this to you and Vanessa when her primary address is with me?” You asked and gave him your best mercenary glare. He shrugged, “Being a superhero pays you fuck all most of the time. I do alright money wise, enough to cover this usually so I asked them to send me the bill, but it’s been a slow month.” “Not many people to kill?” You asked amused. “Like hardly any, I might have to go into stripping.” “I’ve seen you naked, stick to killing and leave the stripping to Vanessa.” You laughed, and he gave you mock offended face before flicking your cheek.

“So, the Tin Man keeps staring at us? Think he’s after a threesome?” Wade leaned down to tell you. You rolled your eyes at him, by Tin Man you knew that he meant Tony. You hit his chest with the back of your hand, “That’s my sort-of boyfriend that you’re mocking.” “And he thinks that we’re what? Bumping uglies? Making the beast with two backs? Just tell him that we’ve been there, done that, got the lifelong financial dept.” Wade offered.

“You don’t understand, I like him Wade. Like I really like him, but I don’t see if ending well, he’s really not a kid person.” You mumbled and glanced round to give Tony a grin. Wade shrugged, “Neither am I, all those other little fuckers can go suck it but Freya, ya know, she’ll cool. Don’t worry, I’ll sort it baby mamma.” He tucked the bill inside his jacket pocket and blew a raspberry against your cheek before quickly leaving.

You shook your head at him and wiped your cheek with the back of your hand as you made your way over to Tony and sat of the arm of the chair that he was sitting on. “Hey you, I could feel you staring a hole into my back over there.” You told him. He put down his empty tumbler on a side table and gently pulled your legs so that you sat in his lap. You giggled at his antics. He reached one hand up to run through your hair and the other sat on your hip, his thumb running circles on the waistband of your jeans. He held your gaze, “Are you in love with him?” The ugliest snort laugh was the only response that you could give him for a moment before you schooled your features and brought both of your hands up to his face, “No, I’m not in love with him. I won’t deny that I have a great deal of love for him though but as a best friend.” “So nothing ever happened between you?” Tony asked. You sighed, “In the interest of being honest, yes we slept together once. Years ago.” “Years?” He mumbled to which you nodded. He pulled you closer again and nuzzled into the side of your neck.

---

It had been weeks since that conversation with Tony and things were going well between you both but every time that you tried to tell him about Freya – the most important person in your life! – something got in the way. It was frustrating Tony because he knew that you were trying to tell him something but the over Avengers where getting in the way.

The whole situation was getting out of hand but tonight was your mummy-daughter night and you weren’t going to let anything bother you. Together you and Freya came out of the lift to your flat and let yourselves in as she told you about something one of her classmates had done. “Good job you were there baby, now why don’t you go wash up and I’ll set out the food that we got, okay?” You told her. She nodded but didn’t move. You put the take-out on the table, a little place that Tony had gotten you into, and crouched down in front of her, “Everything okay sweetheart?” Freya played with the ends of one of her pigtails, “Mummy, I like when we do Mummy and Freya nights.” You smiled, “I like them too.” Freya smiled shyly, “Do you think that Vanessa could come one-night mummy? Not every night but …” She trailed off. You rubbed the tops of her arms, “Of course she can sweetheart, you don’t need to get worried about asking me anything, okay? I can call her now if you want? Arrange it for next week?” “Yes please! We can have snacks and she knows all the words to Moana Mummy!” Freya giggled. You opened your mouth to answer her but paused when you heard a familiar charge of energy weapons. You caught Freya was one arm, pushed her under the table and pulled out the two guns that you had strapped to the under side of the table just in time for your front door to explode open.

Under the table Freya screamed and covered her ears as you shot at the intruder. The bullets bounced of Iron Man’s armour as you recognised who it was. “Tony?!” You breathed.   His armour came away from his face and Tony came to stop in front of you, “Are you alright? And your little girl?”

“Tony what the hell-?” You hissed at him and dropped down the floor and pulled Freya from under the table and into your waiting arms. Tony’s eyes softened at the scene before he spoke, “Someone is coming after each of us, I phoned Wilson to find out where you lived so that I could come for you. He told me everything.”

“How long do we have to get out of here?” You asked as you stood with Freya in your arms. “Not sure, Thor is on his way over here now, but the tower is the safest place for Fay.” Tony told you. Freya perked up in your arms, “My name is Freya, not Fay.” “Sorry, Fee.” Tony teased lightly, even though he looked at little uncomfortable. “Freya!” Your daughter corrected again, this time with a giggle, “Are you the real Iron man?” “I am and I wanna take you and your mum somewhere safe, that okay with you?” He asked.

Freya nodded, “Don’t worry, Mummy will keep you safe.” She told him, and you had to stifle a laugh at her. This time Tony spoke to you, “Yeah, she’s got your attitude.”

---

“Wilson.” Tony acknowledged and passed the man a beer while Tony himself had a whiskey. “Stark.” Wade gave him a flirty wink that no longer bothered Tony.

The pair sat together at the bar of Tony’s rooftop pool and watched as Freya jumped onto Thor’s back and splashed around the pool trying to splash the other Avengers, you and Vanessa. “So, are you used to the idea yet? Of Freya?” Wade asked him, it had been some months since Tony had smashed down the door to your flat and officially met your daughter.

“No, not really but she’s alright, for a kid. Smart, runs rings around Fury, loves the Hulk, she’s got an incredible mind. She’ll make a good engineer one day.” Tony mused. “Yeah she gets all that from Y/N, the only thing she gets off me is the potty mouth.” Wade told him. “And constantly playing dubstep, that’s you too.” Tony offered.

They sat in silence drinking for a while, just watching their make-shift family of idiots rampaging until Tony cleared his throat, “Y/N told me that you’re not well.” “Well you just go straight in there, don’t ya?” Wade shook his head, “Yeah, not well. I proposed to Vanessa, she said yes then I hit the deck. They know it’s cancer, but I find out how bad next week. Then we can figure out how to tell Freya.” Wade mumbled and picked at his beer bottle.

Tony patted Wade’s shoulder once before letting his hand drop, “Wilson, I want to help. I want to sort your medical bills.” Wade paused and studied Tony’s expression before smirking, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you were flirting with me Mr. Stark. I’m flattered, really. But there is something you can do for me, if it all goes tits up and I end up six feet under, look after those three for me. I know you’ll look after Y/N and Freya and that Y/N will try to look after Vanessa, but she’ll need help.” “Help I can do.” Tony mumbled and got up to get them other drink. “Thanks bud.” Wade mumbled and watched his daughter, baby mama and future wife play in the pool and hoped to whoever would fucking listen to him that he wouldn’t get bad news next week.

[lady-divine-writes]

Kurtbastian one-shot - “The Nightmare Before Christmas” (Rated PG13)

Another Christmas skating show, and Kurt has poor Sebastian shoved into another inflatable snowman costume. But when Sebastian hears Kurt's reasons, he may not exactly hate it. (955 words) 

(Blaine friendly.)

Part 50 of Outside Edge.

Read on AO3.

“I’m a star athlete you know, Kurt,” Sebastian grumbles as his boyfriend, too gleefully, adjusts his costume.”

“I know,” Kurt answers.

“Some might even say I’m handsome, too.”

“You are. Very handsome.”

“More handsome than Blaine?”

“That’s an opinion held by many, yes.”

The audience roars with applause as Blaine lands one of his signature effortless triple combinations, and a grumpy Sebastian flails his stubby arms. “Then how come he gets to play the prince, and I’m stuck as the frickin’ snowman for the second year in a row!?”

“Because last year’s Christmas show had the highest audience turn-out of any Christmas show this rink has ever put on!” Kurt says, shaking Sebastian to get his full attention. “And do you know why?”

“Because of Prince Sex-on-a-stick-and-skates-like-a-dream out there pulling triple after triple out his ass?”

Kurt stares at his boyfriend, eyebrow raised at that very specific, descriptive, and not exactly insulting moniker. “No, silly! Because everyone loved seeing you play the big, lovable, goofy snowman!”

“Great,” Sebastian moans, staring at his skates. “So me making a fool out of myself made the skating school money. Nice to know I’ve found my true purpose in life.”

“Could you stop being so negative there, Frosty?” Kurt says, straightening Sebastian’s mile-long scarf for the hundredth time. “No one came to the show last year to see you make a fool of yourself.” Kurt looks into Sebastian’s face when he notices him tapping the toe of his skate. He’s met with a crooked scowl and Sebastian’s sad attempt at crossing arms over his chest. Sebastian only succeeds in moving his limbs vaguely with that intention before dropping them angrily to his sides. “Okay,” Kurt concedes, “maybe some of them did. But they came the second night because they finally got to see the part of you that isn’t all sarcastic remarks and vicious insults. They glimpsed the gooey center inside your hard, crusty exterior, and they wanted more. So, that’s what we’re giving them.”

“Yeah?” Sebastian asks, thinking Kurt’s words over, a smidgen of doubt pulling down the corners of his mouth. “Well … why couldn’t you think up something else goofy for me to be that isn’t shoved into a giant, inflatable monstrosity? Like a lovable anti-hero? Like Deadpool!”

“Deadpool!? Sebastian! We’re doing a Disney medley!”

“Disney owns Marvel now. Ergo, they own Deadpool. I know you know this because you follow Ryan Reynolds on Instagram.”

“Sebastian …”

“It would be great, Kurt!” Sebastian continues, carried away on the wings of his own incredible idea. “Blaine’s Prince Eric will rescue Ariel, but then I can enter the ice, stab him through the stomach, and rescue her back!”

“Sebastian!” Kurt snaps in that voice that calls Sebastian down out of the rafters when he’s wandered off too far.

“What?” he whines, knowing full well that his dream of being the merc with a mouth, who gets to slay Blaine, finishing him off with a breathtaking back flip, and rekindling his reputation as a skating bad ass, will never be.

“I … I didn’t want to tell you this, seeing as this is a family show and all …” Kurt bites his lower lip, smiling wickedly at his dejected boyfriend, “but I happen to think that you in this costume … are kind of hot.”

This time Sebastian stares at his boyfriend with a raised eyebrow of disbelief. But watching Kurt trace the lines of his costume with gentle fingertips, chewing that lower lip of his like it’s Sebastian’s own earlobe, he can’t help but believe him … no matter how ludicrous he sounds. “Really?”

“Uh-huh …” Kurt circles his arms around Sebastian’s waist, tugging him carefully into a corner with little light and no traffic.

“Why?”

“I … I don’t know why,” Kurt admits with a giggle. “I don’t know if it’s because it’s so puffy and soft, or because … you know … it’s Christmas-y, and everything about Christmas fills me with joy. I just …”

Kurt’s sentence dissolves into contented hums and, for once, Sebastian has no idea how to react. He never thought about his costume that way. If he had, it probably would have killed every boner he’s ever had since the beginning of puberty. But seeing the gleam dancing in Kurt’s eyes as he nuzzles against him makes Sebastian thankful that this costume is as massive as it is, since the hard-on he has would definitely be visible from the nosebleed seats.

He still thinks Kurt should give seeing him in a Deadpool costume a chance, but he’s not going to mention it and risk breaking the mood.

Sebastian tries to close the gap between them, tries with all his might to reach his boyfriend past his bulbous body, but the more he crowds Kurt, the more he begins to deflate. If he deflates too much, it’ll take forever to re-inflate him. That’s why they get him dressed an hour in advance.

Sebastian doesn’t really give a shit if he goes on the ice a few pounds light and with a flaccid top hat, but he wants to keep whatever fire this costume sparks inside Kurt going until the show’s over, when he can drag him into the locker room for an unscheduled after-hours make-out.

“You know, I may not be a master thespian,” Sebastian whispers, sliding away from Kurt to allow his bottom to re-inflate, but managing to get close enough to his face to ghost kisses around his lips, “but I do have more artistic range than bloated ice person.”

“I know.” With a whimper, Kurt breaks away from his boyfriend and leads him to the ice so he won’t miss his cue. “That’s why, next year, you’re playing a tree.”

[mojoflower]

Bodyswap in my various fandoms:  fic recs

Trust Fall by Stoney E, 144k.  Sterek.

Stiles is fairly certain that a case could be made for every bad thing in his life coming back to Peter Hale. This time it's pissing off a powerful witch, who retaliated by swapping Stiles and Derek a la Freaky Friday, because sure. That makes sense. Um, there are GPAs on the line, not to mention the whole thing where his dad wants to shoot Derek on sight. Except who he sees as Derek is actually Stiles, and Stiles did not sign up for filicide.  //  Great. Wait...does this mean he's the Alpha until they figure this out? Holy. Shit.  //  ****  //  Derek had stood in front of the bathroom mirror for a few minutes trying to control the panic as he saw himself as Stiles. As the loud mouthed human friend of the pack. He was going to kill Peter. He was going to kill the witch, then he was going to kill Peter. Maybe even resurrect him again just to kill him all over.  //  They were going to have to play this cool. They would have to stay calm and focused. Which is of course why the universe threw him into this situation with someone who physically couldn't be calm and focused.  //  Of course.

Note to self: I'm pretty sure this is the one I've been trying to remember where Stiles is always asking why no one wants him as a boyfriend, that he'd be such a good boyfriend:

“If people would just look, they'd see that how I am, who I am is pretty great, actually.” Stiles quietly cleared his throat past the lump that was forming and blinked rapidly. “I could be pretty great if someone would just let me be great for them.”

Fuzzy Logic by Sparseparsley E, 7k.  Sterek.

Derek and Stiles switch bodies because of wizard reasons and Stiles just wants to know what that awesome scent is.Derek and Stiles switch bodies because of wizard reasons and Stiles just wants to know what that awesome scent is.

Perfect.

Bonds of Power by Miya_Morana T, 18k.  Sterek.

When Stiles suddenly wakes up as an Alpha werewolf and finds out that Derek has become human, he reluctantly accepts Derek’s pack as his while they attempt to find out what exactly happened and how to reverse it. But as they all try to adjust to the situation, the Alpha Pack is breathing down their neck, and they’re going to need all the help they can get to face that threat.

Such a delicious premise! Felt like a kind of abrupt ending, I'd love to see this expanded, but definitely worth the read as is.

Might Not Make It Back by GotTheSilver E, 23k.   Sterek.

Bodyswap. Because of the fun.

Sweet.

copywritten (so don't copy me) by etben E, 13k.   Sterek.

"Oh, shit," Stiles says, and flops as far backward as their mysterious body-swap connection will let him.

hot and funny (omg, ALL THE BONERS)

I'll Walk with Your Wolf by iCheat no rating, 38k.   Sterek.

When Stiles wakes up in Peter's body, he's understandably freaked out. As Stiles starts connecting with the man's wolf, he can't help but reconsider his opinions of Peter. Needless to say, it's a rather confusing time for all involved.  //  For Day 5 of Steter Week, Body Swap.

Good story. I was most interested in Stiles' intrigtuiging ability to resist, and even direct both other Alphas (and so was Peter, lol) even when he was in werewolf Peter's body. I'd love to pursue that and see where Steter shake out in the Beacon Hills Pack, because they're kind of sneak Alphas, both of them. Stiles learned a lot about Peter by being in his body, because Peter's wolf stayed there (there's a funny scene, on the first full moon, where the Wolf tries to get his Mate and his Man together in one place and hunker down.)

Synchronicity by LadySlytherin E, 36k.  Drarry.

When Harry returns to Hogwarts to complete his final year of schooling, he does so with an unexpected new friend at his side - Draco Malfoy. An accident in potions leaves both boys in an unusual position, which leads to a friendly wager. The wager leads to revelations, realizations, and - in time - a happy resolution that no one was expecting. Well, almost no one...

Draco snorted. “As if that’s all of my personality.” He rolled his eyes. “Let me put it this way, Harry. You are, quite simply, not gay. And I am. Rather openly, since coming out to you and then everyone else. So unless you have some secret fashion sense and flamboyant urges you’ve been subduing, you won’t be able to manage this.” ... Harry huffed in annoyance. “You’re being ridiculous. Besides, I’m in your body, right? So the whole gay thing should come naturally. ... I think I’m feeling gayer already.”

Draco blinked several times, then said. “You’re a complete and utter twit. You cannot feel gayer simply because you’re in my body. My body isn’t gay, I am. ... If you’re feeling gayer, it’s got nothing to do with my body!” Draco snapped, moving closer to Harry in his fury. He itched to hex the other teen, but reminded himself sternly that doing so would only damage himself. “Especially as I don’t feel any less gay.”

“Are you saying my body is equally as gay as yours?” Harry frowned at that implication, not sure how he felt about it. “Because that’s ridiculous. I like girls.”

“I’m not saying anyone’s body is gay.” Draco pressed his fingers into his temples, trying to stave off the headache that was forming. “I’m saying I am gay, regardless of the switch. Therefore, you cannot possibly be gayer simply because you’re in my body right now. That’s patently ridiculous and more than your usual level of stupid.”

“Maybe you’re just so gay that it soaked into your cells.” Harry suggested, mostly because it was funny to watch Draco’s irritation twist his face into new expressions. “So now I’m stuck feeling all of the gay that’s surrounding me. Did you ever consider that? Because I think it’s a valid hypothesis.” Ignoring the way Draco had curled his hands into fists, he added. “In fact, I’m positive that’s what’s happening. I’ve woken up newly gay because of this whole switch and now I’ll have to explore just how gay I - which is to say, you - are.”

Draco snarled - literally snarled - before saying in a low, dangerous voice. “If you dare to pretend to be me, I swear I will convince everyone you are the biggest ponce to ever live simply by acting just as gay as I always do, while still pretending to be you. Don’t push me, Potter.”

My Only Hate by VivacissimoVoce M, 35k.   Drarry.

Harry has been cursed and now inhabits the wrong body. Draco Malfoy may be the only one who can help.

Hee, hee.

We're More Than Ordinary by digthewriter M, 13k.  Drarry.

After a freak accident, which was totally Potter's fault, Draco has to live as Potter for three days. It isn't a party for Harry, either.

Yellow Heart Emoji by HelloAfternoon E, 2.8k.  WIP.  Spideypool.

This had begun by accident at the zoo. Things exploded. People evacuated. Animals trumpeted and roared and bleated. Somewhere, Loki had giggled spectacularly.  //  Deadpool had thrown someone into the ape enclosure.  //  Peter had been thrown into the ape enclosure.

Ha! I love bodyswap, and this was delightful enough to make up for the fact that there is only one chapter. Go on, dive in, an unfinished fic won't kill ya: it's fun.

Displace by dontcareajot T, 10k, WIP.   Spideypool.

Peter thought he’d mentally prepared himself for… this. For seeing himself outside of himself. But it turns out he wasn’t prepared at all.  //  Wade evidently wasn’t prepared either. He looks Peter up and down, expression growing more and more incredulous. “What,” he says finally. “The fuck.”  //  (or, one of those body swap fics)

Aaaarrrgh, I love this. It's Peter's POV, and he's sweet, and reserving judgement, and kind of shocked at how much being Wade is actually physically painful, like, ALL THE TIME. And Wade is DELIGHTED to be Peter: to be young and pretty, but also, he's such a huge Spider-Man fanboy. And, just as they start sharing their lives and their thoughts and all that, ack, the story ends. Still worth reading, though. 4/?

Woke Up New by Zee (orphan_account) E, 22k.  Merthur.

Merlin and Arthur switch bodies; complications ensue.

Nice. The one where they switch, and Arthur figures out Merlin's magic because, oops, the magic stays in his body, and an angry Arthur accidentally levitates a chair. Also the one where Arthur starts to get off a little on being the servant and taking orders, and Merlin slowly wakes up to that.  [Dom/sub undertones.]

Buggre Alle This by Signe (oxoniensis) T, 12k.   Merthur.

Bodyswap.

"What now, then?" Merlin asks.  //  "Now, we sleep."  //  "Maybe we'll wake back up in our own bodies?" Merlin says hopefully.  //  "Yes, Merlin, that's what's going to happen. A powerful sorcerer has cast a spell over us, but it's just a harmless prank and it'll fizzle out in the night, and we'll wake up back to normal."

********

I love this author. You should also read "a tree and a bee and a flea, fiddle-dee-dee" (genderswap) here on AO3, and the fairy tale one where Merlin is the moon (which is only on LJ: The Prince and the Captured Moon).

And If You'll Come I’ll Take You Somewhere To Go by luninosity  T, 11k.  Cherik.

April Fools' Day mansion-fic. Which has to mean body-and-power-swap fic, right...?  //  “Yes,” Charles says, rather apologetically even though this can’t possibly be his fault, “you seem to be me. And I…well, I’m you. At the moment.”  //  “Charles,” Erik says, with what he considers quite remarkable patience under the circumstances, “how long is this going to last?”

Well, this was marvelous. Erik's POV, and he's a little ooc he's so utterly smitten, and his thoughts are something like Charles Charles so pretty Charles I'll protect him Charles Charles. It's kind of amazing he gets anything done, heh. And then they're switched, which turns out being rather more serious and unpleasant that you might guess, and there's some h/c, and some admissions, and some cuddling, and everything is lovely.

Amateur Theatrics by galaxysoup T, 27k.  Avengers.

In which Thor’s primary problem-solving method (a mighty blow from Mjolnir) fails to have the desired effect on a magical artifact, and his secondary method (a mightier blow from Mjolnir) proves to be actively disastrous.

Clint makes the absolute best Loki Daddy-uncle-brother-guardian-whatever. And kid!Loki is sweet as a pie. More or less.  [The bodyswap here, Bruce - Natasha, is pretty incidental.]

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous E, 21k.  Destiel.

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."  //  Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.  //  Dean was done with this shit.  //  ***  //  Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

Not technically a bodyswap so much as it is a bodyshare.  This is the one where Cas "assists" from inside Dean's head while he's with some girl, and then he lets Dean experience her viewpoint as well, and Dean notes that it's like Cas is fucking both of them... expertly, of course. It's pretty hot. Then they get to do it solo, later on. Nice.

Through Blind Men's Eyes by ladyblahblah E, 46k.  Spirk.

The obligatory Pon Farr story . . . with a bit of a twist.

absolutely gorgeous: sacrifice, angst, bodyswap (totally realistic, not at all intrusive), pon farr.... what more could a reader want?

[zillanewt]

Merc With A Trashmouth

Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three // Chapter Four

summary: Despite growing up in Derry together, the two boys went down two very different paths. Richie is the world’s most notorious mercenary and assassin, while Eddie is none other than New York’s sweetheart - the literal poster boy for bringing justice to baddies without unaliving them. This is the self-indulgent spideypool!reddie au that literally nobody asked for. 

pairing: reddie

words: 1.2K

warnings: gratuitous cussing (bc this is deadpool!richie ofc), non-graphic violence (again, deadpool au), mentions of child abuse (it’s only one or two lines)

A/N: wow so idk if ive ever told yall, but im such a huge marvel fanboy and this is a fucking pleasure to write. ok so Richie’s backstory on how he became a mercenary is very vague for a reason, because nobody is actually sure of Deadpool’s backstory in canon, soooo. There’s also quite a bit of fourth wall breaking because Deadpool. I feel like this kinda sucks and is a little underdeveloped, so please let me know what you think! Please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!

Kids who left Derry were fucking strange. But that wasn’t saying much when those who stayed were either absorbed into the evil cogwork of the town’s sinister behaviors or abducted by a demonic sewer clown.

Though, none of these things truly mattered to Richie Tozier.

He supposes he would’ve been strange even if his parents hadn’t even birth to him in that shithole town. Besides, he’s 95% sure all that Pennywise shit happened in another universe, so it’s not like anybody would know what the fuck he’s talking about if he brought it up.

Still, you had to be a special kind of fucked up to be sitting masked in a Toronto bar while a man offers you money to kill another man.

“There are important business transactions happening here, so you won’t get my tragic backstory quite yet, sweetheart.”

The man sitting across from Richie looks confused, yet unsurprised that the mercenary is speaking to thin air. There are always whisperings about how crazy the man is, so nobody expects him to be any less than completely psychotic. If you walked away from a conversation with him without a bullet in any of your limbs, it could be considered a complete success.

“We have an offer for you,” the man said in a low voice, sliding a manila folder across the table. “High-pay target. We suspect him to be Spider-Man. He has been interfering with our drug rings in New York.”

The second Richie opened the file, his heart was hit with a pang of worry, then a wave of rage. In small black typed letters was “Eddie Kaspbrak,” then stamped over in a bright bold red were the words “TERMINATE.” There’s going to be hell to pay for whoever thought this would be a funny April Fools joke to pull on him.

“No,” he growled, tossing the file back onto the table. “He’s from Derry. This guy couldn’t even complete a lap in gym class. What in the fuck makes you think he could possibly Spider-Man?!”

The man instantly shrinks back from Richie’s yelling, slightly in fear for his life.

“People change, Tozier,” the man reasons, then chooses to go for the low blow. “You did, didn’t you?”

Every patron in the bar eavesdropping knew the comment was a mistake and so did the man, as regret instantly washed over him and his face paled. He took those few quiet seconds to silently say goodbye to his limbs.

“Get out,” he mumbled very quietly, almost like a hurt teenager.

“What?”

“Get out!!” he yelled at full volume now, not holding anything back. Sure, he killed people for a living, but damn...he still had feelings.

The man quickly gathered his belongings, sweeping Eddie’s file into his arms. His breathing stopped when Richie placed a crushing grip on his arm.

“Leave Kaspbrak’s file with me,” Richie demanded, determining the amount of pressure it would take to break this guy’s arm.

“I can’t do that Mr. Tozier! My boss will kill me,” the man said panicked but gave in when Richie began applying said pressure. “Ow! Ow! Ok! Ok! Take it! Just please don’t hurt me!”

As soon as he handled the file over, Richie let go, but he wasn’t quite satisfied yet. Before the frightened man could run away, he whipped out his gun.

“One more thing, Mrrr…” Richie said very calmly, a complete contradiction to his behavior only seconds ago.

“Reynolds,” the man whimpered, not taking his eyes off the gun in Richie’s hands.

“Mr. Reynolds,” Richie began, putting the barrel of the gun against the man’s forehead, in between the eyebrows. “You tell whoever the fuck you’re working for that nobody touches Eddie Kaspbrak or every single one in your filthy operation will become very familiar with my good friends here.” He gestures to his guns and the twin katanas strapped to his back.

“We Gucci?”

The man whimpers and nods, fleeing from the bar as soon as Richie puts his gun away.

“God,” Richie giggles, “they are so fun to scare.”

Sitting in this dirty bar, he realizes now he has Eddie’s information, but he’s not sure what to do with it. They haven’t talked in a good 10 years, and he’s not even sure Eddie would even care about him anymore.

It’s not like anybody really does.

But, some crazy part of him is screaming at him to find his childhood best friend and love.

“Uhhh no,” Richie says to no one in particular. “Eddie probably has a perfect life and family, and we kill people for a living.”

Would Eddie hate him if he knew who he grew up to be? Would he be disgusted? Would he find out what’s under this mask and be horrified?

It’s times like these he wishes he still had Stan to be his voice of reason. But then again, if that were reality, Richie wouldn’t be “the Merc with a Mouth.” He’d just be regular old “Trashmouth,” like he was when they were kids.

Constantly, he lays awake at night due to the pain and wonders whether his life would’ve been different if he didn’t move from Derry when he was 15. There was nothing Richie wanted to do more than stay with Eddie, but his father was relocated Canada. Though, that sounds like a relatively safe place to be, right?

It should’ve been, but his parents just would never stop fighting. It wasn’t that bad back in Derry, but the move put too much stress on them and they all snapped in their own ways. Mrs. Tozier yelled at her husband and son whenever she got drunk (which was quite often). Richie’s dad decided to take his anger out on his “idiot son” and would throw Maggie’s empty bottles at him.

Richie?

Well, Richie was a teenager. There was nothing else to do, but fall in with the wrong people and turn to violence. The violence provided money, which was his ultimate independence from the disaster of the Tozier household.

Truthfully, he doesn’t remember much else, due to his state of mental health. All he knows is that he now owns a full arsenal and always has weapons strapped to him, like a fucking lunatic.

And to think, just ten years ago he and the Losers were spitting loogies at the quarry and telling ghosts stories about “Pennywise the Dancing Clown.” Richie was at least glad he didn’t exist in the universe where that stupid clown actually tortured and tormented them. He didn’t need any more problems.

Carefully, he opened the file and looked at the picture of Eddie. This is him at 25, and he’s just as amazing as he was when they were kids. His skin is sun-kissed like it always was when they were younger. He still has all those freckles on his face. There’s a woman with him in the picture, probably his wife or girlfriend, kissing him on the cheek as he laughs.

Richie should be more bitter Eddie has all this - the beauty and a happy life - while Richie has literally nothing, but he just simply can’t be. He remembers how much Eddie struggled when they were kids, as his mother continually manipulated him and the Bowers gang constantly beat on him, but he was always kind to other people. If anybody deserves to be happy, it’s Eddie Kaspbrak.

And if Eddie really is Spider-Man, then Richie would truthfully be impressed and slightly aroused because he’s seen how tight that spandex is.

Maybe, it’s time to pay his old friend a visit….just to make sure no goons try to whack him off.