#Did Jesus willingly go the cross?

[thinkingonscripture]

Who Crucified Jesus?

The question is sometimes raised as to who crucified Jesus? According to Chafer, “Closely related to the contrast between the divine and human sides of Christ’s death, is the question: Who put Christ to death? As already indicated, the Scriptures assign both a human and a divine responsibility for Christ’s death.”[1] According to the testimony of Scripture, Jesus’ death on the cross was the…

[shotmrmiller]

Tormented by a Ghost

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader

TW: small mention of smut and simon being kinda mean

TY TO MY BETA FOR MAKING THIS 10X BETTER @c-h-a-r-n-i-k

Tired of living with your family, you decide to move out. There's just one problem— Rent is too costly to afford on your own. You complain about it to your friend, and they tell you that they know someone who's also looking for a roommate and preferably another female. Fantastic!

Your friend gives you her number and ya'll are moving in together by the end of the month. It was great. No nagging parents, no micromanagement, nothing. You loved it. Until your roommate brings her man over. And he's a fucking bully.

--

You're crawling home from a hard day at work, and you want nothing more than some wine on a quiet night. Unlocking the door, you step into the flat. The lights aren't turned on so you assume your roommate isn't home.

Dumping your bag in your room, you make a beeline towards the kitchen. As you're bent over in the fridge, your roommate's door opens.

"Hey,” you call out, "I'm pourin' myself a glass of wine if you're interested!"

Then an assertive, baritone voice speaks from behind you.

"You must be the roommate."

You give an ear-piercing scream as you jump, whipping around to face him with a hand over your racing heart.

"Fuckin' hell! No, it's okay, I don't need my hearin' er nothin'." he scolds.

"What the fuck! I almost flat-lined with my head in the fridge because of you!"

Then you get a good look at him. This monster of a man is a minimum 6'3, with a black balaclava covering his face, a black long-sleeve shirt, and grey sweats. You tried real hard to not ogle the tattoo that stains his exposed left arm. And the grey sweats, we all know why. Cursed be your fetish for thick forearms and big hands.

He leans his head back, looking down his nose at you.

"I think it'd be an improvement," he says, "You face down, I mean," and your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline as he chuckles.

You don't know who he thinks he is, talking to you—a complete stranger— like that but you aren't about to take his shit.

You sneer. "Fuck you. Yeah, I bet that's the view you get the most. Women willingly turn away to not get a look at your mug. Did my roommate ask you to put that mask on so she could face you during sex?"

He steps forward, his height allowing him to tower over you, and growls out, "You callin' me ugly?"

Smirking, you roll your eyes. Of course.

"I don't see any other reason for you to hide your face. Not that it matters to me— I'm not the one that has to tolerate it."

His eyes squint at you as he retorts, "I'm quite the opposite."

Opening your mouth, you're about to tell him that he can say whatever helps him sleep at night when your roommate calls out to the big brute in front of you.

"Ghost? What's taking so long?" she asks.

You tried and failed miserably to hide your mocking giggle at hearing his name, and he leers at you in response. "Go on, Ghost. You're being called back into the realm of the dead."

As he steps away, he says with contempt, "Dumb little bird doesn't know what she's talking about," before walking over to your roommate, looping his arm around her shoulders and going into her room.

He probably doesn't even know your name and he laid into you like he's hated you his whole life. After pouring yourself a glass of wine, you shake your head and walk towards your bedroom. Freak.

--

One day, after having your friend with benefits over in the morning for some nice stress relief, you walk him out. And fucking Ghost is sitting on the couch with his arms crossed. You quickly shuffle your friend out the door, face glowing with embarrassment.

Why was he here? Jesus Christ, now he's going to watch you do the walk of shame around the flat. Hopefully, he won't say anything. As you walk away from the door to the kitchen to get a bottle of water, Ghost speaks up.

"Well, that was pathetic."

You hang your head and close your eyes in resignation. Should've known someone as toxic as he wouldn't mind his own goddamn business.

"What now, Ghost?"

He sounds oddly smug as he says, "I've been here for a couple of hours, and I didn't hear anything coming out of your room. Sounds like he doesn't know what to do with a cunt."

Behind gritted teeth, you grind out, "Don't worry about my pussy, bud. You've got yours coming in," and you hold the n as you look at your watch, "30 minutes. Now piss off."

As you stomp away towards your room, the bottle of water all but forgotten, you hear him let out a deep chuckle. He's an asshole. A physically attractive one, sans the face, but still an asshole. You're going to have to get your friend to come over more often if Ghost is going to continue being around with those jacked arms and deliciously tight grey sweats.

Sucking your teeth, you make a mental note to ask your roommate why she gave him a key to your shared flat without asking.

--

A week later, your roommate has Ghost over and you figure it'd be a good time to get some action yourself. You send him a text and in less than 20 minutes, you're letting him in. Hugging him, you tell him to go to the bedroom. But he's not paying attention to you— he's looking directly behind you.

Turning around to look, it's Ghost. Goddamn it. And this time he's shirtless with his arms crossed and a skull mask on. God fucking damn it. Pulling the arm of your friend, he looks down at you and you tell him to go on, that you'll be there soon.

He nods, walking away with one last look at the phantom leaning against your roommate's door. Exhaling a ragged sigh, you turn back to Ghost.

"Can I help you?"

He shakes his head mutely before responding, "No, lovie, but I can help you." You shake your head at his nonsense.

"No. I'm not doing this with you."

You turn to walk away when he speaks again.

"Yer really gonna let him touch you again? He clearly doesn't know what he's doing— Bedroom's silent as a crypt. Even with those glasses he's got on, he can't find what he should be lookin' for."

Insulted for your friend, you face Ghost with a disbelieving look on your face.

"You're not seriously standing here trying to cockblock me. You—" his audacity has you stammering, "You have no idea what I'm like. Maybe I'm just naturally quiet in bed."

Ghost stares at you for a solid minute before he shrugs and goes back to your roommate.

Unbelievable asshole. Why does he have to look so good shirtless, the berk.

--

You start noticing that Ghost is there a couple of hours before your roommate gets there and you'd think it's weird if you weren't too busy being distracted by the fact that he's always taunting you one way or the other. And then one day, you question him on it.

"You do know your girlfriend won't be home until the evening? It's barely 3."

Ghost turns his head from the TV to look at you and grunts.

"Not my girlfriend." That's news to you.

"Then why you spendin' so much time over here? You're gonna have me thinkin' you like spending time in my delightful presence." you banter with a teasing smile.

Ghost continues to stare at you and the heated look in his eyes confuses you but then he turns back to the TV.

"I can't stand ya, ya daft bint."

You pretend you don't hear the muted tenderness in his voice.

--

And on a sunny day, it all comes crashing down. The boys are over again, but this time Ghost is boring holes into the back of your head as you both go into your respective rooms. You're straddling your boy's hips shirtless when you hear your roommate's furious yelling from the other side of the flat and then stomping towards the front door before it slams closed.

After your bedroom door is busted open, the bolt being broken out of the faceplate from the brutal strength behind the force— and you're jumping off the bed and crossing your arms over your exposed chest.

It's Ghost and he's staring directly at your friend on the bed.

"No." He stomps over to grab your friend by his shirt and drags him off the bed and towards the front door before tossing him against it with a nasty-sounding slam.

"Get the fuck out."

Your friend is spluttering when Ghost cuts him off.

"If I see you here again, I'm turnin’ those silly little glasses," and he taps a lens with his finger, "into contacts. Now get the fuck out. I won't repeat myself." And with that, he trips over his own feet running out the door.

You're standing in the living room. eyes are wide in disbelief. What just happened? There's a moment of silence before Ghost breaks it.

"Your roommate won't be coming back today." He walks over to you picks you up to sit you on the kitchen countertop and lifts his mask over his mouth.

"Now. You're going to come on my tongue before I fuck you and personally test out this 'I'm quiet' theory, pet." You look down at him and sigh.

"I think I'm gonna need a new roommate," you lament.

Pulling the gusset of your knickers to the side, he says, "Don't worry your pretty little head over that. I'll be moving in with you. Also, no. You don't have a choice."

He digs his fingers into your thigh and purrs against your skin, “If you find it in you to scream, my real name’s Simon.” 

And with the way his usually sharp tongue delicately rubs against your clit, you can't find it in you to argue.

A/N: dreamt of this and it had me in a chokehold.

[lovecla]

IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME KNOW | jack hughes.

chapter four:

➴ warnings: angst, jealousy, insecurities

➴ word count: 3.9k

➴ author’s note: this is a mess, soph and jack are a mess, quinn’s a sweetheart, grace’s funny af and i’ve reached 100 followers today. can’t even describe how happy i am with the attention IYLM,LMK is getting. i adore u all so much and i hope u stick with me for a while. prepare your seatbelts because shit is about to hit the fan. :,)

SOMETHING changed between you and Jack that day at the Skims set, a week ago.

You finally realized that you are, very much, in love with Jack Hughes. Which was something that you never, in a million years, would’ve guessed. Because, what; you told yourself you’d never get your heart shattered again, yet here you were, walking straight (and worse: willingly) into a trap, falling in love with the man whore of the Devils team.

Despite all of the mean things your mind wanted to tell you, you just forced yourself to remember that not every man is like your cheater ex boyfriend and that not every man would completely crush your heart and tear it apart.

And even though you wouldn't put your hand on the fire and say that he felt the same way as you, if he didn’t, that man was good at pretending. Because no way in hell he’d take all of his fuck buddies to their family lake cabin to throw a Halloween party.

“This is crazy, Jack, you are in the middle of the season, and I’m in the middle of releasing something…” you started, watching as the car took a turn. “Also, how the fuck did you manage to organise a party in, like, thirty minutes?”

“Uh. I’m literally a NHL player. What did you expect?” He scoffed, so full of himself it was almost impossible to stand. You rolled your eyes. “And it’s just a night. I’m not screwing everything up for having fun for one night only, baby, and neither is you.”

“I guess you’re right.” You mumbled, answering some texts messages on your phone.

“I’m always right.” You rolled your eyes again, watching as he drove with ease. “What are you wearing tonight?”

“My fans have been dying for me to dress up as Rapunzel, so I might as well please them.” You shrugged, locking your phone and putting it on your pocket.

“I don’t know about them but I am definitely pleased with the idea.” He smirked.

“You’re just horny, Hughes. Happens to the best of us.”

“Or you’re just pretty. Happens to some of us.”

You laughed, cheeks warm and heart beating fast. “You’re a flirt, Jack Hughes. I missed that. Is it always this crazy during the season?”

“Like you can’t even imagine. My life is just games, working out, eating plain shit and practice for seven months straight.”

“And you love every second of it, don’t you?”

He smiled, white teeth making the view seem a whole lot brighter. “I do, yes. It’s like… the only thing that makes me feel truly alive.”

“Yeah, I know what it feels like,” you whispered. “I feel like that when I’m on the stage too. It’s just… I don’t know. Makes me feel good.”

“I like seeing you on stage,” he nodded and you raised your brow. “What? I do, really. That concert I went to with Nico was fun. Besides, watching you dance with those little dresses of yours is something else.”

“Boo, you’re just an idiot!” You laughed. “But thank you, Jackie bear.”

“Sophia, Jesus, do not call me that,” he whined, but the smile was still on his lips. “Gross.”

“Okay, Jackie bear, whatever you want, honeypot.”

“Sophia!”

— ♡

THE cabin was packed with people, and you were amazed with how fast people arrived, even with the short notice.

You were waiting for Grace to finish getting ready— she would be wearing a Tiana costume, matching your Rapunzel one— so you both could go downstairs and enjoy the party.

“Jack’s going to have a heart attack when he sees you with that little skirt,” Grace said, while applying lip gloss on her plump lips.

“Yeah, about that… I might need to talk to you about something.” You started, crossing your legs.

She stared at you through the mirror, raising her eyebrows. “Go on, Pinky Pie.”

“I thought we’d established that I’m Twilight and you’re my Mordecai?” You giggled, making Grace laugh too.

“I guess we can pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars…” she sighed. “Go on, then, baby. We don’t have all night.”

“So. I may or may have a thing for Jack. Actually, maybe more than just a thing. Think I’m in love, to be honest,” you waited to see her reaction, not expecting her to jump out of the vanity and start twirling around the room, making you laugh. “What are you doing?”

“Are you joking?” She looked at you like you’d grown a second head. “I just won two hundred bucks!”

Confusion took over your face. “What do you mean?”

“I told Nico that you’d be in love with Jack by the end of October and he said you’d be in love with him by the end of November, and since you confessed it now— perfect timing, by the way— I get my two hundred bucks!” She started dancing and jumping, like she wasn’t a nepo baby.

“Grace! What the hell, this is serious!” You raised your arms.

She sat back on the bed.

“Girl, no it isn’t. Just go to him and say: hey, buddy, here’s a secret not so secret: I’m in love with you.” She shrugged. “Just don’t sing the Airplanes song, please. That’s, like, our thing.”

“Grace, I— I can’t even— what the hell,” you wanted to run your hands through your hair, but you remembered that you were wearing extensions and a tiara. So you stick with biting your nails instead. “First of all, why the fuck would you and Nico bet on something like this? That doesn’t even make sense. Second, I can’t just go over there, call him and tell him I like him. That’s not how it works.”

“Well, Nico was the one who proposed the idea of betting so that’s on him!” She raised a finger. “And yes, that is literally how it works.”

“You’re forgetting that this is Jack Hughes. A guy who, apparently, can’t stay a week without a pussy and fucked every Jerseywoman who walked on God’s green earth.”

“Ew, don’t say that! You know my mom’s New Jersian…” she sighed, making a disgusted face. You smiled, apologetically. “Okay. I know that Jack’s past may not be the ideal background you want for your baby daddy but hear me out!”

“Baby daddy? What—”

“Jack hasn’t touched anyone else since you guys started… well. Fucking.” She blushes, like she wasn’t calling him your baby daddy not even a minute ago. “And he’s a great, great person. I’ve seen how he looks at you and if that man isn’t in love, then I’m white as a sheet of paper.”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, feeling frustrated. “Harris also seemed like a great guy, and when we got together, everything changed. I don’t want to go through that ever again.”

“I know it hurt, and God knows I’d rather mop the entire ocean than to see you like that again,” she scooched closer, grabbed your hands and pressed her lips together, the REM Beauty lip gloss making her lips look magical. “But you have to give yourself that chance again. It’s been more than a year, and I’ve seen you and Jack together.”

“I know that, but—”

Grace clicked her tongue, a tsc reverberating on the bedroom walls.

“I’m telling you this as someone who isn’t inside that little head of yours,” she whispered, holding your hands tighter. “You and Jack together? Girl, that’s meant to be. That’s like Achilles and Patroclus, Romeo and Juliet, Hazel and Gus—”

“Girl, what the hell, can’t you find a couple who at least one of them is still alive?” You scoffed.

“Sorry, I just love depressing stories…” she apologized before starting talking again. “That’s not the point, anyway, Miss Girl and you know it! Fuck whatever your head is telling you, Soph: you deserve to be loved and you deserve to love.”

“I didn’t say I love h—” she put a hand over your mouth, interrupting you.

“You don’t have to. I know you, Soph, and the look you get on your face whenever you talk to him, or even better, talk about him, is enough for me,” she kissed your cheek, quickly wiping the lip gloss stain on your face. “And let me tell you a secret, honeybun, he has the same look on his face.”

You smiled, cheeks carmesim and heart full. Thanking Grace for saying all of this wasn’t enough, you needed to buy her a house on the beach with a very naked Nico Hischier inside of it. Maybe that’s what you were going to do.

If only you knew how to convince Nico to be naked at a beach house, you’d certainly—

Someone knocked on the door, and you both got up, surprisingly fast, remembering that you were not alone and that there was a whole party happening downstairs.

Opening the door, you faced Jack who looked way too hot with his own jersey. Of course he’d be wearing a Jack Hughes, NHL Player costume. Of fucking course.

“You were taking too long up here so I came to check on you but maybe we’ll be here for a bit longer.” He smirked, hands finding your corset-covered waist instantly.

“Hum—”

“Excuse me, Mr. I-can’t-keep-myself-in-my-pants, I’m still here.” Grace yelled behind you, and you watched as his entire face showed his annoyance.

“Yeah, I can see. Feel free to leave, though,” he rolled his eyes, holding your right hand and twirling you around. “You look so pretty, baby.”

Your entire face felt like a fireplace but you still smiled nonetheless. “Thank you.”

“You both are disgusting, excuse me,” Grace walked past the both of you, mumbling something about checking in with her husband.

“Let’s go.” He offered you his hands, which you promptly held.

Going downstairs, you were surprised with how full the house was. Like, there were at least fifty people there, which seemed insane for a cabin, no matter how large it was.

Jack dragged you around, saying “hi” to every person you walked by, true to his NHL playboy persona. To your amusement, some people also acknowledged you. Mostly some girls and a few guys. It was nice.

“Sophia!” You heard a shout and immediately knew who it was. Trevor Zegras, wearing a pirate costume, which was just an excuse for him to be shirtless, really. One of the most annoying people you’ve ever met. Truthfully. “Damn, I’d climb that tower for you.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’d push you down that shit, Zegras, fuck off.”

Jack laughed softly beside you, moving until you were both sitting on the couch. Quinn, Luke, Nico, Grace and Zegras were all there, talking with a few people you didn't know the name of.

“You can't say you don’t like me without trying me first.” Trevor suggested, looking directly at your face. You showed him your middle finger.

“No one wants to try you, Zegras, now fuck off,” Jack stated before sipping on the beer he stole from Luke, who was dressed as a cooking chef. Or at least that’s what it looked like.

“See, this is why Quinn’s my favorite Hughes,” he mumbled, smiling at Quinn. “Anyway, Soph knows where the heat’s at.” Pointing at himself, Zegras moved on to the girl on his right, who seemed awfully pleased to be his second option.

“Asshole.” You heard Jack mutter under his breath and you giggled, amused.

“Be nice. He’s just… in heat, I guess,” you shrugged, already used to Zegras’ comments. Every time you saw him, he had something new to add to the list. Usually, you’d tell him to fuck off, and he would.

“He’s a pain in my ass, that’s what he is.” Jack bickered, pouting like a ten-year-old child. You found it cute.

“Poor Jackie, huh?”

“Shut up, Soph.” He smiled, blue eyes bright and kind.

Now that you knew what those backflips your heart did every time you saw him smile meant, it was much harder to control them.

Confessing to Jack would break the no-strings-attached arrangement that you both had silently made. It would meant either dating him and having your happily ever after (even if you hardly believed in those) or having your heart broken (again) by a really nice guy who just wanted to fuck you.

Besides that, you were both well-known people, especially you. You remember all too well when you were at home, chilling after a concert, and you got several texts from your friends and family, regarding a bunch of pictures of Harris kissing another girl at a bus stop station. A fucking bus stop station.

The situation dragged on for months, every time you’d post something, people would mention the fact that your ex was a cheater, you had been cheated on and that somehow you deserved to get cheated on; because of the things you sang, because of the clothes you were. Just a shit show with an even shittier audience.

“Hey,” you heard Jack’s voice beside you, and you turned your head around, looking at him. “Where'd you go?”

“Nowhere,” you smiled; it didn’t reach your eyes. Jack seemed to be ready to talk back when a girl— brunette with the greenest eyes you’ve ever seen— threw herself at his lap.

“Jackieeee.” She whined, kissing his cheek. “I missed you.”

You could tell she was a little tipsy, but even so, it made your stomach ache anyway. That ugly, shattering feeling of feeling like less than less came back, and it was as if you could feel the narrator of your story preparing himself to repeat the same shit again. Here’s Sophia again, the girl who likes to mistake butterflies for cardiac arrests.

“Hi…” Jack sounded unsure, something he rarely did. You looked at Grace, and she looked right back at you. Only then you realized that basically everyone was staring at you.

“You don’t remember me?” The girl sounded like she was pouting and you cringed. She was so close to you, sitting on his lap, that her left thigh was brushing against your arm. “That’s fine. I’ll make sure to be unforgettable this time, baby.”

“Wow, I think that’s it for me,” you muttered, getting up from the couch, moving to the kitchen without looking back. You knew that you’d throw up if you did; not because of Jack and Mrs. Unforgettable, but because of the pity stares you knew people were giving you. It sucked.

You also knew that if you stayed inside the house for too long, you’d end up drunk and pissed off. And you didn’t want that. So you did the only thing that you knew would put your mind in the right place again: going to the lake.

You walked outside, feeling the cold breeze hit your face and legs and arms and— everywhere, really. You should have worn a sweatshirt, but now it was too late to go back. You’d rather turn into a popsicle than to go back there and watch that again.

Sitting on the dock, you watched the lake in front of you, listening to the sounds of insects and trees moving. It was a nice view, but probably nicer in the summer. Right now it just looked like a Criminal Minds crime scene.

Lost in thoughts, you didn’t hear the steps coming from behind you. “You’re gonna get sick.”

Letting out a scream, you turned around, facing Quinn, who was wearing a pilot costume, with a scowl on your face.

“Sweet Jesus, Quinn, what the hell,” you put your hand on your barely covered chest, taking a deep breath. “Don’t you know how to, I don’t know, make noise while you walk?”

“I did that, actually, you just didn’t hear it,” he sat down beside you, handing you a Canucks sweatshirt. “Thought you’d get cold.”

You smiled, thanking him and putting it on, trying not to ruin your hair and makeup.

“Thank you, Quinn. That’s nice. Go Canucks!” You raised your hand, making a fist bump, hearing his soft chuckle beside you. You sighed. “I don’t know if you’re here to try to make me feel better or anything like that, but you don’t have to. I’m fine, really.”

“I’m just here because you needed a sweater and because it’s kinda creepy to be here alone. Nothing else, I promise.”

You looked at him, once again surprised with the Hughes men. But then, they were raised by Ellen, so you shouldn’t really be surprised.

You nodded, choosing not to say anything, just feeling the breeze on your face, a million thoughts in your head.

Now what? What would you even say to Jack? Hey, yeah, I know that when we started this we said that we didn’t want to fall in love but guess what! I’m in love with you.

And what would he even say to you? It wasn’t his fault he didn’t like you back. He’d probably say something like yeah, you fucked up our arrangement now I’ll have to find someone else to fuck every week. You were fun, though! and move on with his life.

And you’d move on with yours, just like you did before. The thing is, you didn’t want to move on again. You spent five years into your twenties trying to move on from things and it was tiring as hell. Moving on from broken friendships? Tiring. Moving on from toxic people? Tiring. Moving on from your cheater boyfriend? Tiring and humiliating.

You were pulled from your thoughts by Quinn throwing rocks at the lake, laughing when he couldn’t make them float like he intended to. He looked at you with that tired expression of his, and smiled back.

“Great album, by the way,” he blurted out of nowhere.

You frowned. “Thank you, I guess. Did someone leak it?”

“No,” he laughed, shortly. “Jack talked about it in our family group chat a while ago. Ma asked about you and he went on rambling about it, which was really funny. He was like, putting on his uniform before practice and recording a voice note at the same time, which he never does. And then he went full rambling about all of the songs and how shitty your ex was. Sorry about that,”

You looked at Quinn like he had grown two more heads, four more arms and five more legs. You had no idea Jack talked about your songs with his family. At all.

You wanted to ask more about it to Quinn so bad but you were kinda scared about what you were going to hear in response. Does Jack talk about me?

About you? Yeah, and a lot of other girls too.

“Sure,” you mumbled. “Yeah, Harris was a dick,”

“I liked some of his movies but now he’s banned from my watchlist forever.” Quinn announced like the statement didn’t make your heart break and mend at the same time, his tone calm and distant. “It’s good that you found something to channel your pain though. I do that a lot during my games.”

“Singing for me is like breathing. I’ve done it since I was, like, eight or even younger,” you nodded to yourself, looking at the stars above you. “This album means a lot to me, in a lot of ways. So thank you for telling me this.” You smiled, not sure if he could see it. He was also looking at the stars.

“Don’t need to say ‘thank you’. You have a gift, Sophia. I hope you know that,” he stretched himself, yawning and wrapping his arms around his middle. “I wish I could write songs but I suck at that.”

“Why do you sound like you’ve tried that already?” You smirked, fucking with him.

Or at least you thought you were, because Quinn went quiet, which confirmed your suspicions.

“What!” You looked at him, throwing your arms up. “Have you written songs before?”

“I was thirteen, okay? I just thought that maybe if I didn’t make it to the NHL, I could at least be a rapper or something.” He shrugged, again, which only made you start laughing. “I know, it’s funny. Thankfully, I made it to the NHL.”

“I don’t know, it’d be great to make a song with you,” you said, playfully, before realising something. “Oh my God, Quinn. That’s what I need!”

“What?” He smirked. “Make a song with me? I don’t think that’s a great idea—”

“No, not a song with you. Just a song. I need to write,” You nodded to yourself, getting up and fixing your skirt with your hands. “Do you think I could get a cab here? I came with Jack and I think he’s…” you bit your lip. Focus. Write the song; it will all be better. “Busy. And Grace needs to have her fun, too. She’s been working nonstop.”

“A cab? Soph, it’s like midnight,” he got up, too, standing in front of you. “I can take you home. It’s no biggie.”

“What? No! Enjoy the party! I’ll just try to catch an Uber or something.” You went to grab your phone, just to remember that you left it at the cabin. “Ugh, fuck, I need to go inside again.”

“I will take you home, no need for Ubers or anything like that. Just tell me where your things are and I’ll pick them up for you. I’ll talk to Grace on my way there.” He affirmed, walking with you towards the cabin, the loud music slowly filling up your ears again.

“That’s… so nice,” you breathed, more grateful than you’d like to admit. “Thank you, Quinn, seriously. I owe you.”

“It’s fine,” he replied, hands in his pockets. “Wait a second here, please.”

You did, and it wasn’t long until he showed up with your backpack, your phone and a very worried Grace beside him.

“Girl, what the hell?” She yelled, probably not even realizing how loud she sounded. “I’ve been looking for you like crazy and out of nowhere Quinn shows up with your stuff, saying he will get you home.”

“I have to write a song.” You reasoned, raising your shoulders.

Grace stared at you for what felt like forever, until she pressed her lips on your forehead and sighed. “Alright. I’m not even going to ask. Be safe, please, and remember that I’m only a phone call away.”

“Thank you, I love you.” You kissed her back, following Quinn on the way to his car, not bothering to look back.

Jack was probably busy anyway.

— ♡

HANDS around the guitar, you replayed the same melody you’ve been playing for five hours straight now.

You arrived home at one thirty in the morning, and even though you were awfully tired, you had to get the lyrics, the feelings, the emotions out of you. Fuck sleeping.

You offered your guest room for Quinn but he just shook his head, saying that he’d crash at his parents’. You made him call you when he arrived there so you knew he was safe, which he promptly did.

After that, you made yourself tea and sat in your home studio, writing obsessively. It had been a long time since the last time you had a song practically written in your head, and honestly, you couldn’t tell if that was good or not.

What you knew, though, is that now, five hours later, seven a.m. in the morning, you had a song. Bad for Business. You sent it to your producer and Grace before laying on your bed and drifting away immediately, the exhaustion taking over you.

[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

Creature of the Night

Task Force 141 X Platonic!Reader

While that was always true, there was something about the situation you couldn’t shake. You knew better than to poke a sleeping bear, even if Price was only a bear figuratively.

A/N: hi! I've had this idea stuck in my head for a few days, and thanks to @gaylemonshark for always fueling my ideas I finally had ambition to sit down and write, so I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: none really, maybe mentions of wounds(nothing graphic, just a small accident)

You’d only recently joined the task force, Kate being the reason your file had ended in the hands of one John Price. You were thankful, not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, however you were also skeptical of some things. While the Captain, as well as the other recruits, were friendly and treated you well, they seemed…odd. They would leave on missions at the most random times, never calling you into briefing. More often than not it was strictly the four of them heading off, assuring you it would only be a couple weeks before they came back. While that was always true, there was something about the situation you couldn’t shake. You knew better than to poke a sleeping bear, even if Price was only a bear figuratively.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“I’m telling you, there’s something going on and I’m going to figure it out,” You huffed softly, crossing your arms over your chest.

“You think they’re selling secrets to the enemy?” Private Johnson was a newcomer, fresh faced and barely old enough to even legally be in the army.

“No, John’s too ‘fuck the enemy’ to willingly sell information,” It was one of the theories you’d had, but after writing up reports it was pretty clear that wasn’t the case.

So what would the case be if they weren’t running off to the enemy to spill secrets, and none of them had secret families, not that you could find at least. You’d done all the research you could, slightly illegal at times you were sure, but curiosity had gotten the better of you. Johnny was the middle child between two sisters. Gaz was the oldest, a younger brother and sister he often visited when able. Simon was a lot harder to figure out, his file was almost entirely blank except for his name, age, and birth date. John’s didn’t surprise you at all, oldest brother of six kids(jesus)and had joined the day he turned eighteen. His father had been a general before he passed away, it seemed so fitting.

Your eyes locked on Gaz and Johnny as they walked into the mess hall, Johnny’s accent thicker than a bowl of oatmeal in the middle of winter. No one could understand a word he said whenever he got excited, or angry, or stressed. Frankly, most of the time no one could really understand the Scot. He did his best around you to keep his words clearer, considering Simon’s accent tended to get thicker whenever he was pissed off.

“You look like you’re thinking real hard,” Johnson leaned closer, whispering softly so no one could hear your conversation.

“I swore that Soap shaved this morning, but he’s already got a five o’ clock shadow going,” Your eyes narrowed as you stared at the other man.

The stubble on his cheeks was darker than this morning, you were absolutely positive of that, but how would that even be possible? You’d walked in on him shaving, he had the razor against the skin of his neck, the sound of thick hair being shaved off. So, how in the actual fuck was he sporting stubble dark enough it was mere days away from a beard?!

“Maybe his facial hair just grows fast, I’ve seen it happen before,” Johnson shrugged, as if your words were nonsense.

“There’s no way in hell it grows that fast. I’ll eat my left shoe if that’s true,” Okay, maybe that was taking things a step too far.

Suddenly, as if some higher power had called the man’s name from your direction, Johnny’s eyes landed on you and Johnson. Your heart plummeted, eyes widening as you immediately turned to face Johnson and pretend you weren’t staring down the other man.

“So, have you talked to that recruit you have a crush on?” You needed to change the subject lest Soap realize you were talking about him originally.

Johnson’s eyes widened, jaw dropping open as you suddenly called him out on the secret he’d drunkenly whispered to you only a few days prior. Was it a risky move bringing up something like that out of the blue? Maybe, but you were desperate.

“No, I haven’t had the chance to talk to her yet,” His cheeks flushed a light pink, it was kind of cute if he wasn’t so young, and dumb.

“Aye, what’re we talkin’ about over ‘ere?” Soap slapped his hands down onto the table in front of you, a smirk pulling up his lips.

“Sorry, my lips are sealed MacTavish,” You mimed locking your lips and throwing away the key as you smiled up at the other man.

He laughed loudly, a deep belly laugh as he threw his head back. Gaz watched with a raised eyebrow, though you could see a faint smile on his own face. It made you happy knowing that you could make your teammates laugh, though sometimes you wondered if it was genuine at times.

Okay! No more depressive thoughts at the dinner table.

“I’m sure they are, but Gaz ‘n I have to head out soon,” Johnny nodded over to where Gaz was standing.

“Oh? Where are you guys heading to?” Would he admit the truth? Or would you be wondering once again?

His lips parted as if he was about to answer before Gaz’s hand landed on his shoulder, grip tight as he whispered lowly into the other man’s ear. Johnny’s eyes widened almost comically before he straightened up suddenly.

“Sorry, duty calls.” Johnny didn’t wait for you or Johnson to say anything before he and Gaz were heading off.

You were definitely more curious now, what was so important that Johnny couldn’t even tell you whatsoever? You guys told each other everything, at least most of the time he actually bothered to come around. Maybe…maybe you just weren’t as close friends as you suddenly thought.

“Do you think they don’t like me?” Your voice was much softer, an edge of hurt at the mere thought the people you saw as friends saw you as nothing more than a nuisance.

“They definitely like you, the missions probably got them stressed and they’re doing their best not to worry you,” Johnson shrugged his shoulders, lower lip pushed out in a playful pout.

Your mind was racing with a million and one different thoughts, surely if any of them were truly stressed out they would come to you, right?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Okay, so maybe things hadn’t really gone back to normal once Gaz and Johnny came back from that last mission, but they were talking to you again! Price had even taken you on a mission with him, except now you were beyond sore and could barely get out of bed. An enemy had managed to sneak up when you’d had your back turned. Hell, the only reason you were even alive right now was because of your tac vest, their blade barely piercing the thick material.

“Sergeant, how’re you feeling?” Simon’s face wasn’t something you saw often, the man preferred keeping his personal life private, so seeing him in your room was a surprise.

“Like shit, didn’t think falling nearly two stories would hurt so much,” You chuckled weakly, wincing as pain shot up through your side.

“Yeah, that’ll happen,” Simon shook his head with a soft sigh, stepping over to your bedside before gently lifting your gown.

It was nothing more than a large bruise, the very center of it nearly black from how hard you’d hit the concrete. He hummed softly under his breath as he laid a gentle hand against the surprisingly large bruise. You groaned loudly, gripping the sheets in your fists as the heat from Simon’s hands seeped into your skin. Jesus, why the fuck was he so hot?(pun intended).

“I knew about the dangers of war when I signed up, falling out buildings wasn’t on that roster,” The heat of his palms slowly soothed the throbbing ache in your side.

“Accidents can happen, you know that better than any of us. Johnny nearly lost his head trying to disarm a bomb,” You weren’t entirely surprised by that, the man was insanely smart, but sometimes the enemy was just a little bit smarter.

You both sat in silence for a few more moments until Simon pulled his hand away from your skin, laying the gown back down so it covered your mottled skin. There was a slight tension filling the room, the urge to understand who your Lt. actually was.

“Try and get better, we need you in top shape,” Simon didn’t wait for your response before leaving the room quickly.

Your mind was suddenly racing, his skin felt like fire against your own, and while you’d spent a lot of time around a lot of different people, there was no way that was normal. No, that’s stupid to be thinking about, he was just a normal guy who tended to run hotter than the average guy. Nothing more than some silly thoughts.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You were exhausted but couldn’t sleep as usual, so what’s better than sneaking out of your room and heading down to the mess hall to get a bite to eat? They wouldn’t care as long as everything was cleaned up afterwards, and you never left a mess anyway. Sighing softly you slipped on a pair of slippers and pulled a hoodie on to keep the chill out. As you slowly and quietly made your way down to the mess hall you realized there were more people inside. Who else would be awake this late at night?

“C’mon! I’m starvin’,” The voice was muffled by the door, the only light being the one they were using by their table.

You pushed the door open slowly, seeing Johnny, Gaz, Simon, and Captain Price all sitting around the largest table in the mess hall. The table was loaded with food, a slightly smaller pile of trash at the opposite end. Gaz was stuffing his face with what looked to be a burger and fries, while Johnny was stuffing his own with…garlic bread? To each their own.

“Hey,” You mumbled as you walked inside, heading straight for the freezer to see if your pizza rolls were still in there. 

You had threatened everyone on base that if they ate your food there would be hell on earth, mainly because getting into town to buy food wasn’t easy. Johnny’s head whipped around to stare over at you, almost as if he wasn’t expecting anyone to drop in on them. Then again, it was nearly one in the morning and they were all stuffing their faces as if they hadn’t eaten in days. Come to think of it, they almost always have appetites like this, keeping the fridge stocked is nearly impossible at times.

Getting a plate and your pizza rolls out of the freezer you pour a few onto the plate before placing it into the microwave. The boys were nearly silent as you waited for your food to cook, murmuring amongst themselves. Reaching to stop the microwave from beeping loudly as it hit End you pulled the plate out. Thanks to the many calluses on your thumb you could barely feel the heat from the plate.

“Have a good night boys,” You nodded quickly before heading down to your room to eat in peace.

You could have easily sat down with everyone and eaten, but there was something off about the way they stared over at you, as if they were watching you like predators. No, you weren’t going to sit here and assume your friends were secretly out to get you, that’s weird. With a soft grunt you plopped down onto your bed, pulling open your laptop to turn on a movie. Your eyes caught on a title you hadn’t watched in years. Twilight. Snickering you turned it on, picking up a pizza roll to see if it was actually cooled enough to eat. Not that that ever stopped you of course, but maybe this time would be different.

Normally you would eat your snack and fall asleep within a few minutes, tonight however was going to be a nightmare. You were absolutely hooked into the terrible movie, clicking onto the next one, and the next, and of course you couldn’t not finish the saga. Suddenly it was morning and you were shocked to see the sun, well now you were definitely going to be in trouble. Groaning you turned off your laptop and pulled your blanket up and over your head, exhaustion seeping into your bones like a weight.

By the time you opened your eyes again it was dark outside, the sky lit up with stars as you groaned. You were half tempted to go back to sleep, your body still aching for those few precious minutes. Unfortunately your stomach was rumbling, and your bladder was nearly bursting from being in bed for so long.

Pushing up and out of bed you headed into the bathroom to do your business and brush your teeth. After you’d done everything that was urgent you grabbed the plate from the night before and headed back down to the mess hall. As you headed into the mostly dark area you could see the boys all sitting together. They were eating again. This time though it looked like they had gotten take out from one of the Italian restaurants nearby. God, what you wouldn’t give to have a big plate of spaghetti ragu.

Shaking your head you ran over to the sink to wash your plate and make yourself some more pizza rolls. You didn’t have much energy to actually cook something proper, so something easy would have to be the way you went for the night. Price was staring over at you, waiting to see if you would make your way over to their table. Considering you hadn’t the night before the other three didn’t think you would bother.

The microwave beeped loudly, indicating your food had finished cooking while you were daydreaming about future missions. You quickly grabbed your plate and headed over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

“Have a good night, boys,” You nodded towards them before heading back to your room.

Your shoulders were sagging with exhaustion when you made it back to your room, carefully setting the plate and water down before sitting in bed. Instead of turning on a movie, knowing it could keep you up, you turned on a show. It was mainly background noise as you quickly ate your dinner, sipping your water every now and then. Once your plate was empty, and your belly full, you scooted down into bed. Your eyes slipped closed, unable to keep them open a minute longer as you fell asleep. Dreams plagued with different werewolves and vampires, though they seemed so…similar.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The entire base was in full swing, everyone letting loose with good food, and enough beer to drown an entire village. It was a way to thank the soldiers that were risking their lives daily, and it felt damn good. You’d had your fair share of drinks, laughing at Johnson’s jokes when his crush wasn’t around so she didn’t get the wrong idea. You made it clear to everyone on base that you had no romantic intentions for anyone, refusing to ruin a good thing. Johnson had wandered off, following Ashley, Amanda, Amber? Shit, maybe you were way more drunk than you’d realized if you couldn’t even remember her name.

“Gonna get some fresh air.” You mumbled to no one in particular, heading outside to see if the chilly air could help sober you up.

The air nipped at your exposed skin, goosebumps rising as you stared up at the full moon. It gave off a beautiful light, the stars that surrounded it twinkling in the inky blackness. You’d always been fascinated by space, and getting to actually see the stars meant a lot. Your body had a mind of it’s own, turning and stumbling off towards the barracks. As you kept walking you soon realized you weren’t in the barracks at all, in fact you weren’t on the base anymore. Shit, were you going to get lost in the woods and have to have someone find you? That’s beyond embarrassing.

A deep rumbling growl stopped you in your tracks, heart racing as you slowly turned to face the noise. If it was a bear you could possibly manage to outrun it, but being as drunk as you were there was a chance you’d just get killed. Two bright glowing eyes stared back at you, lips pulled back into a snarl as your heart dropped and you took off into a sprint. Branches tore at your skin, the scent of blood permeating the air as you pushed your legs to run even faster. You were thankful you’d worn your boots, not wanting to ruin a pair of nicer shoes.

Your feet came to a grinding halt as suddenly you were surrounded by what could only be described as giant wolves. You knew they were big, having seen the comparisons to a regular Siberian husky, but these? They’d be able to kill you with one swipe of their giant paws.

“Oh shit, I’m gonna die, this is how I die,” Your heart was racing, eyes comically wide as you watched the three wolves and…oh god were those mountain lions?!

“Y/N! It’s us!” Gaz’s voice echoed around you, the trees swaying slightly as the wind whipped around you.

Your throat closed up slowly as the rest of the task force and both Rudy and Alejandro walked over to where you’d stopped. How were they all here if you had just been surrounded by wolves and mountain-

“I fucking knew it!” You pointed an accusatory finger at each and every person standing around you.

Simon’s jaw dropped open, did you just say that you knew about the secret they’d tried so hard to keep hidden?! Are you serious right now?!

“How the fuck did you know?” Simon was almost angry, though he wasn’t sure if he was angry at you or because you somehow knew?

“You guys run off whenever there’s a full moon, you eat way more than everyone else, your skin nearly burned me when I fell out of that building…also I may have watched Twilight and found some similarities.” You admitted sheepishly.

Price was shocked and also affronted that you’d found out their hidden secret because of a movie made for teenagers?! Jesus, maybe he really was getting too old to deal with any of this shit. 

“So, are there more of you guys?” Your curiosity was piqued now, if your friends were werewolves and werecats, could there be more?

“Yes, but it’s not our place to say so when the time comes we’ll let them tell you, alright?” Price wanted to get back to the compound and sleep for the next few days if he could.

You were excited at the idea of meeting more people like your team, but you were also nervous they wouldn’t like you knowing who they truly were.

Sometimes real life is even stranger than fiction.

[ohraicodoll]

Gifts from the Barn Cat

Lol yall just want me to write their reactions so here you go! (In response to this Ask)

Tommy doesn’t know what the hell is so funny. There he was, sharing his valid concerns and Joel is about to have a goddamn heart attack from cackling at him.

“You wanna let me in on the joke?” he grunts angrily, arms crossed. Joel’s laughter doesn’t quite die off but he tries to form words past his chuckles, “Who the hell do you think would leave stuff on your doorstep?” He doesn’t want to accuse his brother’s girlfriend-wife-partner-guard cat-whatever of doing it. Whether out of fear or anxiety, but admitting it in his head draws a whole new concern, “Fuck, is this like a warning or something? Did I piss her off?”

Joel laughs again and finally straightens up, rolling his eyes, “Jesus, boy, are you dumb or did you willingly give your kid all your braincells? They’re gifts, moron, not threats.” They don’t feel like gifts. He never sees her around their house and they’re always there way too early in the morning, sitting on his doorstep. Tommy wasn’t sure if that meant she was watching them or just always awake because they feel like they just magically appear.  “Why the fuck doesn’t she just give them to us? Why’s she gotta do it all ominous and shit?” he grumbles, trying not to pout but feeling a little dumb and like the butt of his brother’s joke. It wasn’t his fault Red didn’t do anything normally and liked to leave them things in the same way cats leave dead birds. Somewhere in his mind, he remembers that cats did it because they thought you weren’t capable of feeding yourself and he wonders if the gifts aren’t an insult after all. “Because you’ll probably make it fucking weird and awkward and she’d rather skin herself than deal with that,” Joel shrugged as if her way was a totally natural alternative instead. Sometimes he worried about his older brother and what he has gotten used to.  “Whatever, just tell her to put it in the mailbox or something next time,” Tommy doesn’t want to admit that in a way he’s a little pleased with being considered enough in her mind to get gifts from Red (though the knife is still a little concerning) even if the method is unusual. He throws in for good measure as he heads for the door, “And, I don’t know, tell her thanks but like not directly from me. Like say it in passing-” “Okay I got it, dumbass.” At least it’s not actual dead birds.

[404-found]

Blameless Before the Judge

John 18:10–11

[10] Then Simon Peter, having a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s servant and cut off his right ear. (The servant’s name was Malchus.) [11] So Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?” (ESV)

Luke 22:49–51

[49] And when those who were around him saw what would follow, they said, “Lord, shall we strike with the sword?” [50] And one of them struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his right ear. [51] But Jesus said, “No more of this!” And he touched his ear and healed him. (ESV)

Jesus in all of his love, grace, and mercy healed him.

Why?

To be a nice guy? Sure! But I believe it goes even deeper.

As you read earlier Malchus was a servant of the high priest. It was a capital crime to harm a servant of the high priest in any form! Let alone lobbing an ear off. Peter would have been executed by law. However, when Jesus restored his ear he erased all evidence that Peter had ever transgressed. So if Malchus would have went before the council and accused Peter of the crime there was absolutely no evidence that Peter ever committed the crime.

That's what Jesus did for us. Ultimately we chose to sin against Him, to rebel against Him, to disobey Him, to in a sense substitute ourselves as god, attempting the de-goding of God, living our life by our own standards, and bringing ourselves glory instead of Him. Because we've done that, we've willingly separated ourselves from God, not wanting to relate to God, but to be god ourselves. In doing that, we've put ourselves under the judgment of God instead of the grace and mercy of God.

Even though we've done all of this, that God lovingly came into human history as the man Jesus Christ, fully God and fully man. He was born of a virgin, without the affects of generational sin, and lived a life without sin, even though he was tempted in every way you and I are. Even though Jesus lived a sinless life, he willingly went to the cross to die a sinners death, and in doing so substituted Himself for us, the sinless One for the sinful ones. Our first parents in the garden substituted themselves for God, just as we would have, and do, and at the cross Jesus reversed that substitution and substituted Himself for sinners. So when Jesus went to the cross He willingly took upon Him the sin of those who would come to trust in Him. That means that Jesus Christ, God who was a man, died in our place for our sins, satisfying the justice of God toward sin and securing the grace and mercy of God for those who believe in Him. Jesus dead body was then put in a tomb, and for three days he was buried. But on the third day Jesus rose from the grave, proving his authority over sin, death, hell, Satan and demons. When we believe and are reborn in Jesus Christ we are washed clean by his blood. Jesus sacrifice takes away all evidence that we ever transgressed. And it doesn't matter who accuses or what evidence they say they have. When we stand before a holy judge who's a holy God and he looks at us he will see Jesus whose blood we have been cleansed by.

Jesus lived a life we could not live (a sinless life), He died a death we should have died (a sinner's death), He rose to give us a life we could never have otherwise (resurrected life), and He alone is the way, the truth and the life – the only way to God.

John 8:10–11

[10] Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” [11] She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”]] (ESV)

[theprinceofpeacesposts]

Love On the Cross

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

As we commemorate Easter, God wants us to remember one thing only: that He loves us. And this love He demonstrated by giving His only Son to die for us who were lost in sin, so that we may be saved and have eternal life.

Our Savior, Jesus Christ, agreed to die for us because He loves us, as He said, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” John 10:11. Jesus willingly died on the cross because of His love for us.

Jesus Christ, together with God our Father, had a Unity in the redemption of mankind along with the Holy Spirit.

Jesus said, “Just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep.” John 10:15. He also said, “The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again.” John 10:17 and again He said, “No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” John 10:18. You see the fellowship between Jesus and His Father and that it was His choice to go to the cross because He loved us. And as for the Holy Spirit, the Word of God says, “How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God...” Hebrews 9:14. Therefore, it was the Holy Spirit who enabled Jesus to go to the cross, it was by His power and His strength that Jesus was able to endure all the punishment until He died on the cross, and remember, He is the one who raised Him from the dead.

In your reflection today when you see Jesus on the cross, know that he died because He loves you. He died so that your sins may be forgiven and you may have eternal life.

If I were to summarize today's message briefly, I would tell you two things:

1. Jesus died on the cross because He loves you.

2. Jesus did not come to judge you, but to save you. John 3:17.

So today, accept Him, ask Him to forgive your sins and if you have already accepted Him and been saved, today go to the cross by faith, lay down your burdens, and receive all the promises He has made to you. Receive your healing, your deliverance, receive your blessings, and receive your life.

PRAYER: Thank you, Jesus, for dying on the cross for me. I approach that cross in faith and lay down all my burdens. I receive your blessings and promises. Amen.

[orcasoul]

Reckless

Summery: Joel and reader are paired up as patrol partners. Both have suppressed feelings for each other. He's frustrated with her sometimes impulsive actions and she's fed up of his coldness towards her. After an almost fatal encounter during a supply search they both admit their feelings for one another.

Warning's: Swearing, angst, infected attack, age gap (reader is in her late 30's and Joel is in his late 50's), Use of Y/N.

"Stay close and don't do anything reckless!" Joel turned to you and gave you a look that left no room for arguments. You rolled your eyes and in a mocking voice replied "Yes sir," with a salute. Joel rolled his eyes in return before turning away. You can't help the smirk growing across your face, knowing how much it bugs him when you do that. But you can understand why he felt the need to say it. You wouldn't admit he was right when he accused you of acting before thinking sometimes, but there are times when risks are worth taking and you'd never willingly put yourself in a risky situation if you weren't confident you could handle it. You and Joel have been patrol partners for two months now, since you happened to stumble across Jackson on your way to..... nowhere, really. You were just existing at that point and so close to giving up until you were fortunate enough to cross paths with one of Jackson's patrol groups, and were welcomed into the community. They'd given you a purpose again so you took your patrols very seriously, wanting to do all you could to serve your community and prove yourself as a valuable member of Jackson.

At first your patrols with Joel were a little awkward. The man hardly spoke, unless it was to give you orders, or to voice his displeasure of being "stuck with a kid" on patrol. Kid! I guess to a grumpy 56 year old dinosaur a 37 year old is a kid, you once scoffed mentally. "I'm not here to babysit. I'm here to show you the ropes so you can do your part efficiently, got it?" Joel gruffed at you from his horse on your first patrol. "Good thing I don't need a babysitter then," you snapped back, glaring at him. Joel huffed and rolled his eyes. "Look you'd better be able to handle yourself out here because you're not my problem and I'm not gonna make you my problem, Okay?" "Jesus Christ" You muttered to yourself. You now spoke louder so he could hear you. "If I couldn't handle myself I'd have been dead a long time ago. I don't need a protector and you and I know damn well I wouldn't be assigned to patrol if the council didn't deem me capable. So how about we just get on with the task at hand, eh?"

Joel turned back around on his horse, letting out an annoyed mumble. The truth was he'd already made you his "problem" and he didn't like it one bit! He'd caught the odd glimpses of you when you'd first arrived at Jackson and was immediately struck, not only by how beautiful you are but also by the look of disbelief written across your face. A feeling he knew all too well. Shock and awe, that a place like this could exist. A piece of heaven in a hellish world, he'd once described it, and if this was heaven then you must be an angel. After a few brief chats with you (well actually Tommy and Maria did most of the talking while he mostly just sat and listened to how sweet and genuine you came across) he knew then that you were different to other women he had known. There was just something about you. It was ridiculous! He hadn't felt this way about a woman in over twenty years, and he sure as hell wasn't going to start acting like a love-struck teenager at 56. So he decided it was best to push down any feelings he had developing and keep you at arms length.

And that's what he did. He barely spoke to you and quickly shut down any conversation you tried to strike up with him. After a few weeks he'd noticed you'd stopped trying. A part of him felt that maybe he was being too harsh and probably came across as an asshole but he couldn't allow himself to get too close to you. The more people you care for, the more you have to lose, besides it's not like someone as sweet and beautiful as her would be interested in a middle aged grump, he'd keep reminding himself when he felt like letting you in. So he did what he does best; He built a wall and hid behind it. At first Joel's stand-offish attitude irked you but you thought if you were going to be partners you'd at least try to get him to loosen up. Maybe he just needs me to take the first step and initiate the conversations, you mused. But after a few weeks of trying and being met with short answers and gruffs you realised you weren't going to get anywhere with him, so you just accepted the silence that mostly accompanied your patrols.

You tried to convince yourself that it didn't bother you but truthfully it did. And you knew why, even if you refused to think about the reason too much, trying to distract yourself whenever your thoughts went "there". You were attracted to him, had been since you met him. Even though he didn't speak much, something in his eyes and the way he looked at you ignited a desire and a need for this quiet, but extremely handsome man. You wondered if he was like this with everyone. He had a good twenty years on you so maybe he'd just seen a lot more horrors than you. Horrors that have no doubt moulded him into this brooding entity of a man. He also seemed to have had a lot more encounters with infected than you have, if the rumours were anything to go by, and they were probably true otherwise he wouldn't be alive now. So giving his experience you decided to mostly follow his orders while on patrol. Better safe than sorry, eh?

Today's patrol was going to be somewhat different than the usual checking and resetting of traps and scanning the area for trouble. You'd both been sent out to a small town about four miles to the east of Jackson, to a veterinary surgery to pick up some medical equipment that had been hidden away by the last patrol group, their bags being to full to take them at the time. You loved Jackson's animal's and since veterinary equipment and supplies were always in short supply this was like hitting the jackpot! Upon arriving you both dismount your horses and tie them up in an overgrown wooded area not far behind the building. Joel quickly sneaked around the building as you followed suit, guns at the ready for any kind of trouble. Peering in through the once glass glass entrance doors it appears the building is empty. "Let's go," you say with confidence as you begin to walk through the door frame, only to be roughly pulled back by Joel's calloused hand on your upper arm.

"What the fuck you doing, Joel?" you scold him as you rip your arm out of his grasp. "What the fuck are you doing?" He shot back angrily. "Just because it's quiet here it doesn't mean there's no infected further inside the building. I'm going first." As he brushes passed you, you can smell hints of sandlewood, earth and something.... Joel like. Damn it, does he have to smell so good? You shake your head to try and rid yourself of the intrusive thought. You hated that whenever he got too close you felt a rush of heat to your core and your heart would beat faster. Sure, you'd known from the moment you'd met him that he's the most handsome man you've ever seen, but you never imagined in a million years he'd be interested in someone so much younger than himself. Not when there were plenty of women his age in Jackson literally fawning all over him every Friday night at the Tipsy Bison.

So for the most part you'd just try to ignore your feelings and focus on your patrol duties with him. Even though sometimes you got the feeling he saw you as a hindrance, sometimes you felt like he hated you, you weren't about to let that get in the way of doing your job. And today is no different. You follow Joel quietly into the surgery, your senses on high alert, looking in every direction. As you pass the front desk you notice leaflets about pet insurance with the most adorable cat and dogs pictures on them, covered in 20 years of dust and mould. You smile sadly, imagining what this place would have been like in it's heyday and how you would have loved to work in a place like this. Focus, you idiot!" you mentally scold yourself, snapping your attention back to the present moment. You follow Joel down the darkened corridor of the building, the only light coming through the windows of rooms with open doors, just enough to see clearly.

Both of your heads scan from left to right as you make your way past the doors, some open, some closed. You'd both been instructed to go to the operating theatre at the back, push the grey cabinet from the wall and you'd find the supplies hidden in a hole behind it. You both approach the theatre slowly and silently. Once you were sure you were alone you closed the door and shrugged off your backpack, dropping it to the floor, as did Joel. "I got this," you say to Joel before he can walk over to the cabinet. As you pushed the cabinet the high pitched sound of metal scraping across the floor made you clench your teeth. To you it was like nails on a chalk board! But that sound was nothing compared to the sound that came next and it made your blood freeze. "SCREECH!" "SCREECH!" "SCREECH!", all at the same time. BANG! BANG! BANG! Both of your heads snap to the rattling door, then back to each other.

"Shit!" Joel cursed. "Hurry, fill the bags and hide." Looking around the large theatre it's evident that there aren't many things to hide behind, just some operating tables and crates. You only manage to fill the bags half full before the door bursts open, slamming against the wall. Joel grabbed your hand and pulled you behind an operating table with him, communicating with his eyes that everything will be okay. He brings a finger to his lips, silently telling you to be quiet. You hadn't realised just how hard you'd been breathing, as your rapid heartbeat had filled your ears with the sound of rushing blood. You take slow, quiet breaths, desperately trying to calm your nerves. You both pull your knives out. Guns are loud and clickers are abnormally fast. If there were only two of them you could take one each, but it's just your luck that there are three of the fuckers, making it too risky to fire your guns. Joel throws his head over his shoulder, gesturing for you to follow, the both of you taking agonisingly slow, crouched steps around the table.

After a series of deafening screeches and clicks, the three clickers began to clumsily stagger around the room, scanning for whatever had caused the noise. As you follow Joel across the room you suddenly realise the backpacks have been left behind. You gently pull on Joel's arm to get his attention and point to the backpacks. Joel looks to where you are pointing but he shakes his head 'no'. The supplies are important, yes, but all that matters to him in this moment is getting you to safety. He can see the silent protest in your eyes and he knows just how stubborn and impulsive you can be. Before you can begin to crawl back to the bags Joel roughly grabs your wrist, pulling you closer "Leave them," his words are barely a whisper. Frustration bubbles within you, leading to anger. You hate having to leave such valuable and needed equipment behind just because these rotting bastards chose now of all times to turn up!

They must have turned up not long after you and Joel entered the building because the previous patrol would have put them down or at least warned you two before hand. Great fucking timing! You think to yourself, sarcastically. You roll your eyes and reluctantly nod, following Joel's lead. He seems so confident in this moment that you wonder how many times he's had to do this in the past, and for the first time since your patrols began you're grateful to have him with you. As you cautiously sneak behind Joel across the room you can't help but notice how broad his shoulders are and you find your gaze heading lower to his ass, his thick thighs, the sliver of skin between his jeans and jacket, now visible because he's crouching..... now's not the time, you quietly chastise yourself.

It's becoming more difficult to navigate the room with these fuckers aimlessly wandering around, and every click and shrill screech makes you freeze for a few moments. Joel seems to sense your unease and he gentle reaches back to take your hand in his. This is the gentlest he's ever touched you, and the sensation of his warm, big hand engulfing yours has your heart racing and butterflies flitting in your tummy. The concern and care he's showing you now is a stark contrast to the usual treatment he gives you.

Joel's heart is in his throat! The door is so close, yet so far. Gripping your shaking hand he slowly leads the way to the open door. As you both approach it he stops and pulls you in front of him to go first, then turning, he grabs the door, slowly moving it so it doesn't make a sound and pulls it ajar. He stand up, shaking out his aching legs one after the other. He turns to you as you stand, brings his hand up to cup your cheek, and whispers "you okay?" You can feel your cheeks heating up at his touch, his intense gaze boring right into the depths of you. Nervously you nod, trying to calm your breaths. It's not the infected that has you breathing heavily this time. Joel's hand slips from your cheek, down your arm and into your hand, linking his fingers through yours. Quietly you both make your way to the entrance doors, the sounds of clicking becoming more distant.

Once outside Joel breathes a sigh of relief while sheathing his knife. This could have ended badly, so badly. Weather you like it or not he has taken on the responsibility to always keep you safe and he would never have forgiven himself if he'd let you get infected or killed. He's pulled from his pensive state when you stop suddenly, releasing his hand. He hates the emptiness he feels in his palm, now that your soft warm touch has abandoned him. "Joel," you mutter as he turns to look at you in confusion. "We can't just leave everything behind. We can't go home empty handed," "Forget it," Joel replied with finality. "We're not going back. I barely got you out of there in one piece." It wasn't lost on you that he'd said you instead of us and it brought a warmth to your heart to know he cared about your safety somewhat. "We wouldn't have stood a chance in there but I'm sure we could handle them from out here. We just have to lure th-" "no!" he cut you off sharply. If he'd been with any other partner they would have dispatched those clickers quickly but he's not going to risk your life.

You huff and narrow your eyes at him. "So what? We just leave them behind because of a few... obstacles? They're too important. we need them." Joel shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Look, I'll come back with some of the others in a few days. We'll get rid of the infected and grab the supplies," " But they're all over the floor in clear sight. What if raiders come back through here and take them before you can return?" you ask with your hands on your hips and irritation in your voice. "Well then.... they take them," Joel snorted. "Let's get to the horses," he orderd before walking away from you. Sighing, you reluctantly follow, but not before throwing a glance over your shoulder and silently cursing those damned infected for ruining this golden opportunity. Golden opportunity, you thought. Yeah, this is a golden opportunity and how many of them do we get these days? After a few more moments of deliberation you decided it's worth the risk. "Fuck it," you muttered to yourself, slowing your pace behind Joel. He was already quite a way in front of you but you wanted a bit more distance between you two so he wouldn't notice you walking back.

When enough time had passed you slowly turn and make your way back to the surgery. Part of you feels foolish for doing this but damn it, Jackson needs these supplies and you're not going to fail them. You understand it's risky to take on clickers, especially alone but now you have the upper hand. You quickly form a plan as you near the building, grabbing a brick off the ground to use as a distraction. As you cautiously re-enter the surgery you draw your pistol, taking the safety off. Creeping stealthily down the dark corridor, the clicking becomes louder, making you tremble and your adrenaline spike. You silently open the door on your left, doing a quick check to make sure it's empty. A brick to the window will make for a pretty good distraction. Leaving the door wide open you slink to the theatre door, opening it as quietly as you can while trying to keep your breathing calm. The clickers are now almost motionless, swaying like jellyfish in the ocean, with no purpose or goal. You carefully retreat backwards, placing every step as delicately as you can to avoid making any noise, until you are in front of the other door. With your gun ready in one hand you lift the other hand holding the brick, take a deep breath, pray to any god that might be listening, and throw!

Joel knew it didn't make sense to leave the supplies behind and you were probably right to say you could both handle them now that you're outside, having space as an advantage, but in the two months you've been patrolling together you've never come as close to death as you did today and he won't lose another person he cares for, not now, not ever! The more he thought about it, the more he realised that pushing you away doesn't change how he feels about you. He hoped these feelings would fade away over time but if anything, he cares for you now more than ever and today has proven to him just how much you mean to him. Shit, he inwardly groaned while shaking his head. What the hell do i do about this? After a few more moments lost in his thoughts it dawned on him that he can't hear your footsteps behind him anymore.

Spinning on his heel his eyes frantically search the surrounding area for you but you're nowhere to be seen. His heart feels like it's about to bust through his rib cage as fear grips him with an unrelenting force. Before he can call your name the sounds of smashing glass and inhuman screams fill the once silent air. "Y/N!!" Joel screams your name so loudly his throat feels like it's on fire and he makes a desperate sprint for the surgery. A series of shots ring out as he nears the building. Now matter how fast he's running, it feels like he can't get to you fast enough, all the while imagining the worst. Charging through the foyer he hears clicker screeches mixed with your own screams. The sound of your screams absorb deep into his being, fuelling the same fury he felt when he learned what the fireflies were planning to do with Ellie. He rounded the corner of the front desk to the corridor and the world slowed down when he took in the sight of you pinned under a clicker, desperately pushing at it's neck to keep it's face from yours with one hand, and wildly flinging your other arm above your head in a blind search for your knife that is just out of reach.

All rational and deliberate thought abandoned Joel's mind and a primal need to protect possessed him. He lunged toward the clicker, knife drawn, and plunged it deep into it's decaying skull. The horrid, clawing monster became limp and silent before being lifted and thrown aside like a rag doll. In it's place was Joel, bloody knife pointing downwards, heaving deep breaths and looking at you with a mixture of anger and terror. You've never seen such raw emotion etched onto his face before and you were sure you were in for it now. "Joel," you rasped, relief mixed with trepidation. Still trembling from the encounter, you slowly sit up while staring at Joel wide eyed. You braced yourself for the angry admonishment you knew you deserved, but to your surprise Joel dropped to his knees in front of you, his knife clanging as it hit the tiled floor. "Are you hurt?! Are you bit?!, Are you okay?!" The words came tumbling from his lips a hundred miles an hour as his hands wondered from your face to your neck, to your shoulders, to your arms, to your legs and finally your torso.

You can only stare at him in bewilderment, noticing the tears glossing over his eyes and how his entire body is shaking. You place your palms over his trembling hands to try and calm him. "I'm okay Joel, really," you reassure him in a gentle tone. He looks down at your hands placed on his and realises he's holding tightly onto your waist. Embarrassed, he swiftly drops his hands, clears his throat and stands up. He offers his hand to pull you up, which you gingerly accept. You stand, looking up into his dark eyes that now seem to want to tell you... something. No words are spoken for what feels like forever. You break the silence first. "Guess we can get our backpacks now," you whisper nervously, your arms and legs still shaking from the adrenaline that hasn't quite left your system. Joel stands as still as a statue, his face now emotionless and it was unnerving to say the least. You're used to him being grumpy and irritable, you're used to seeing him confident and meticulous, but this was something else, and you don't know how to even speak to him right now. It's almost as if he's not even there, as if he's in a trance!

You swallow the lump in your throat as you head towards the theatre, glancing at the bodies of the other two clickers you managed to shoot in the next room. After filling the backpacks with all of the medical equipment, you rise to find Joel standing in the doorway, still staring but now he looks furious. "Um... here you go," you murmured as you walked over to him and held out his backpack. Joel snatched it from your grasp, causing you to flinch slightly, and stormed outside. "Shit," you mutter under your breath and follow him outside with your head hanging low in shame. The walk to the horses was unbearably quiet, the air thick with tension and unspoken words. You know you had just fucked up, big time! He'll probably never patrol with you again after this.

At least one good thing has come of this. You have the supplies, so maybe it wasn't all bad. "Hey, Joel?" you utter his name shyly as you reach the horses saddles. Joel stops, slightly turns his head to the side, huffs and mounts his horse. Blinking back tears you mount your horse and gently kick it's sides to make it move, making sure to keep a few paces behind Joel's horse. The silence is deafening. With nothing else to occupy your mind it replays that almost fatal encounter over and over again. If Joel hadn't have got there when he did you'd be dead now, that's for certain. You had been so sure you could handle them yourself, but once again Joel was proven right; You don't think before you act, and this time you almost paid the ultimate price. But the worst part for you was that you'd put Joel in danger. If he had died because of your actions you'd never be able to live with yourself. Guilt begins to gnaw at you, an oppressive and gut wrenching sensation that just grows stronger the more you think about it.

You could have gotten him killed and now you're responsible for this strange.... episode he's having. Unable to suffer the crippling guilt and uneasy silence any longer, you sidle up beside Joel. He's still looking dead ahead, unwilling to acknowledge your presence. "Hey," you clear your throat, awkwardly. "Thanks for saving me back there." Joel just tensed his jaw and nodded ever so slightly. "I'm sorry about what happened. Can we talk for a minute?-" "No," Joel snapped. "Joel," you say quietly. "I said no." Joel kicked his horse to make it move faster. You glare at him and sigh in frustration at his stubbornness. For god's sake, I'm trying to apologise and he's being a dick, you bitterly think. You pull on the reigns, bringing your horse to a sudden stop and dismount. Joel quickly stops his horse and turns to face you. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked in exasperation. "I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me," you reply with your arms crossed over your chest, chin held high.

"We're not doing this now. Get back on the horse Y/N." "Not until you talk to me!" you yell at him, frustration seeping through your words. Joel could feel his anger flare and before he could think, he jumped off his horse and stormed over to where you stood defiantly. "You wanna talk? Fine. What the fuck where you doing, going back in there by yourself?!" He roared. "You got a fucking death wish, or something?!" His hands are balled into fists at his sides, chest heaving with angry breaths and his face turning red. You've never seen him this angry before. It was confusing that he'd show this level of care over your well being when most of the time you could swear he hated you. "I'm sorry," you sigh. "I didn't think it through-" "No, you didn't, as usual!" Joel retorted. Okay you'll give him that one. "I just didn't want to fail the community. These supplies are important-" "More important than your life?" Joel asked, his words laced with frustration. "Well... maybe... yeah," you spoke quietly.

Joel blinked and snapped his head back in stunned silence at your words. He didn't expect you to ever say that. "What do you mean 'yeah'?" he cried in disbelief. "The animals are vital to Jackson. Everyone depends on them for food, clothing, transport. So maybe it was worth risking my life. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do. I just hate myself for putting you in danger. I'm really sorry Joel." Your voice trembled slightly on the last few words. Joel couldn't believe what he was hearing! "I don't care about me, I'm furious with you for putting yourself in danger. What if I had been a few seconds later? You be fucking dead now!" "I know," you looked down at your feet, feeling like a child who'd broken their parents' favourite ornament after being told to leave it alone. "I just can't believe how god damn stupid you are!" Your head snapped up like a pissed off cobra as he spat those words out at you. Here you are apologising and he goes and calls you stupid, oh hell no! Your cheeks burn in anger as the blood in your veins begins to boil. "Excuse me?! I've just apologised and accepted all your criticisms, but don't you dare call me stupid!" Now it's your turn to curl your fists.

"What else am I supposed to think when you do shit like that? You almost died!" Your guilt is now being burned away by anger, filling you with a need to defend yourself. "What do you care if I died anyway?" You throw your hands up in indignation. "Yeah I made the wrong decision, but it was mine to make. Don't pretend that you care all of a sudden. Most of the time you fucking hate me!" Joel's eyes widen at your accusation. "Y...You think I hate you?" He asks, taken aback. "Well....yeah," you reply as though it should have been obvious. "I mean in two months you've only ever spoken to me to order me about. You won't even speak to me when I pass you in town. So what am I supposed to think?" "I don't hate you!" Joel can barely contain his vexation at this point. "Christ do you realise what it would do to me if I lost you?" He stopped suddenly, realising what he had just let slip. He could see the astonishment on your face and knowing there's no turning back now, he continued, his voice calm but hesitant, "I don't hate you. I hate how I feel about you."

His confession was the last thing you had expected. After a few moments you collected yourself and walked closer to Joel so that you were looking up into his eyes. "And what do you feel?" you asked softly, while searching his rich brown eyes. The want and longing he feels for you is now abundantly evident in his gaze but he's unsure of what to do next. He was determined to keep his distance, so if he ever lost you it wouldn't hurt as much. But distant or not he almost did lose you and it was excruciating! He realised now he'd wasted enough time trying to push you away and he doesn't want to do that anymore, especially not now with the way you are looking at him. You delicately bring your hands to his chest and repeat the question. "Joel, what do you fe-" before you can finish his lips crash onto yours, his hands grabbing your waist to pull you against his body.

You return the kiss eagerly, wrapping your arms around his back, opening your mouth to allow his tongue to caress yours. His hands tenderly wander up your back, one staying there while the other gently cups your cheek. After several more seconds he pulls away from your lips, guiding your head to the crook of his neck. "Fuck Y/N, I can't lose you, not you," he breathes the words into your ear. You smile deliriously into his neck, hoping this isn't a dream. You dreamed about having him for so long, but never once thought it would ever happen. "So you don't hate me, then?" You grin as you look up at him and rub your nose against his. Joel looks into your eyes adoringly and chuckles, "Of course not." "Then why have you been acting so cold towards me?" you enquire with genuine confusion. "I just didn't want to feel... anything for you. I was afraid to." You've never heard Joel speak with such vulnerability and it made your heart swell for him. "I've lost too many people and I thought pushing you away was for the best. But I can see now that it's the stupidest thing I've ever done. And I never even thought you would feel the same way about me. God, I can't believe how much time I've wasted when I should have just been honest with you."

The sincerity of his words has your head swimming and you kiss him again, hungrily. The tickly feel of his beard, his strong arms wrapping around you, the warmth of him as you press against his chest has you yearning for more of him. "I really like you Joel," you pant as you pull away. "I really like you too, darling," Joel replied just as breathless as you. His southern drawl on the word darling made your knees feel weak! "So let's not waste any more time. Meet me for a drink at the Tipsy Bison later? "Definitely," he answers while placing a quick peck on your nose. "I'm sorry for calling you stupid. You're not. I shouldn't have said that, I was just afraid." "It's okay." you reassure him. "And I promise, I won't take risks like that anymore." "Good, cause next time I'll kill you myself." Joel teases. You roll your eyes playfully and salute, "yes sir." Joel shakes his head and laughs under his breath, causing a giggle to leave you and he knows now he'll be enjoying the sound of your laughter for a long time to come. You both return to your horses and mount to begin the journey back home side by side. This time the silence is comfortable and cozy, filled with soft glances and gentle smiles.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Living His Word

… that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death… — Philippians 3:10

For the Apostle Paul, being a Christian means having an intimate, personal relationship to Jesus Christ. Christians are so closely connected to Jesus that he could say we have been "buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life" (Romans 6:4). Thus, when Paul says that he wants to know Christ, it is not just an intellectual knowledge of who He was and what He did; it is to know what it means to be spiritually identified with Him at the most fundamental level.

In our verse for today there are three aspects to this knowledge of Christ.

First, he wants to know the power of Christ's resurrection. In this context, to know the power of Christ's resurrection does not refer primarily to the resurrection of our bodies that will occur when Christ returns, but to our spiritual resurrection from the deadness of sin into the life of righteousness through Christ. This resurrection power is a spiritual power that enables Christians to live and walk in newness of life in every area of life. We used to be spiritually dead, but now we are spiritually alive (Colossians 2:13).

Second, he wants to share Christ's sufferings. This does not mean that Paul wants suffering to come his way, but when suffering comes to go through it the way Christ went through it. The disciple who has been spiritually resurrected willingly does what Christ said a disciple should do: "deny himself and take up his cross and follow me" (Matthew 16:24). To know Christ is to also know what it means to suffer in order to fulfill the call of God.

Finally, Paul wants to become like Him in His death. Paul is not saying that he wants martyrdom, but to go through it the way Christ went through it if it happens. The disciple who has been spiritually resurrected willingly goes through the ultimate act of surrender to God's call on his life should that be necessary.

You have not just been buried with Christ. You have also been raised with Him. Today, rise up through the newness of life you have in Him, no matter what comes your way.

© 2016 by Bible League International

[avionvadion]

Part Three of "I have no self control so here ya go"

Warning: El isn’t affected by the song magic in Hell/Heaven so she ends up singing whatever songs she knows from her time on earth. In this chapter, it's "Two Birds On A Wire".

I've decided this takes place just before the Pilot episode. So Angel has not been recruited yet, and the hotel is still the "Happy Hotel".

This one is a LONG one.

Eleanora took a seat at the table while Lucifer got to work, the letter set beside her just so he wouldn’t toss it away after having second thoughts. One leg crossed over the other, she propped an elbow up with a hand against her cheek, and watched as the devil king stood at his desk, hyper-focused as he fiddled with magic and various materials that he summoned out of thin air, his back facing her. 

She didn’t want to bother him, seeing as he finally had motivation and was willingly doing something without panicking or trying to run away. Making rubber ducks really was something he seemed to be good at… which makes sense, seeing just how many he had. 

The brunette leaned to the side, staring at the ducks that were leaning against her legs and feet, before shifting so she was looking at Lucifer again. She observed his blond hair, eying his slender form closely. 

It was a little embarrassing to think, but…

Charlie really took after her daddy, huh? Not just in personality, but looks too. Her height is probably from her mom, though. 

Hot damn. 

Eleanora may not have ever dated anyone, actively going out of her way to avoid relationships, but she does admire a beauty when she sees one. It just so happens that said beauty is the father of the person who saved her life, and  also just so happens to be the literal King of Hell. 

Is he much shorter than she was expecting Lucifer fucking Morningstar to be? Absolutely. Is that because of the ridiculous beauty standards from the country she was raised in? Most definitely. Did it bother her at all? Hell no. 

If anything, it made him… cuter? While simultaneously more intimidating. Rather than looming over her, he could get right up in her face to threaten her- which he has done once already, as well as made a few rather intimidating faces, but also… just… 

Flustered her. 

Was the King of Hell supposed to be so touchy-feely? She can still vividly remember the feeling of his hand on her waist as he pulled her in close and danced around the magical lake he had created with his song. Eleanora was very much not good with eye contact for extended periods of time, but he made it so hard to look away. 

Gods, being in Hell has been a super bad influence on her. 

She’s only been here for the better half of a week and, after all those years she spent avoiding relationships like the plague- which she literally did have to do due to the recent pandemic, she's now checking out the literal devil, Lucifer Morningstar, while he makes a rubber freaking duck that’ll spit out rainbows and glitter. Sure, they’re technically in each other’s age range, but he was immortal, older than the earth itself, and she was a measly human. He’s literally the father of the person she made a pact with. 

Someone splash me with holy water, please. 

Her face is burning, the woman having made herself flustered due to her own indecent thoughts. 

Is this a fucking genetic thing? Her eldest sister definitely had a thing for single fathers, considering her recent track record of partners, but Eleanora didn’t realize she also had a thing for them. Perhaps this was just proof of their relation? Jesus, I’m in trouble. 

Their first meeting was bad enough- Eleanora had a nearly ten year difference with her eldest sister, and because Lucifer looked like he was in his thirties and Charlie in her very early twenties- like, barely past twenty-one- the woman fully believed he was the princess’ brother. 

Not that… Eleanora knew Charlie was the Princess of Hell at that time. 

Eleanora was fully convinced that he was Charlie’s brother, and was very confused because she knows Charlie said it was her dad coming over, but he sounded and looked so much younger than she had been expecting. 

And he was gorgeous. 

Did he look like a snake, with his big yellow eyes and red-slit pupils? Oh yeah. Even his skin was as white as snow, and if she hadn’t felt it herself by accident during the songs when he got a bit too close she would have believed it if his skin was actually scales. His teeth were admittedly a little terrifying, what with how large and sharp they were, but it wasn’t in a bad way? They were scary, in a… good way. 

Pleasant way. In a way she definitely shouldn’t be thinking about, since he was Charlie’s dad. 

Who the hell said the devil should be a short king that absolutely loves his daughter, is both terrifying and gorgeous, is kind of ridiculous, and has one hell of a singing voice? 

…God themself, probably. 

Damn it. 

Eleanora has been getting used to people bursting out into song- and by that, she means Charlie- but being dragged into the musical numbers was certainly a first. Who’d have thought she’d actually dance with the devil? Her life has gotten so out-of-hand. At least she can breathe now; that’s really the only good thing that’s happened since coming down to Hell. 

Well, untrue. 

I’d be dead if Charlie and Vaggie didn’t find me when they did… 

Everything had happened so fast that Eleanora doesn’t really remember everything, but one minute she had been drawing on her cintiq and the next she was falling, falling, falling down into darkness. Things went black and when she woke up, this creature covered head-to-toe in fur with shredded clothes, piercings, and horns was standing over her, knife in hand like he was about to sacrifice her. 

Probably was, too, since she was laying on a pentagram drawn of blood surrounded by dozens of lit wax candles. 

She barely lifted her head in time to see Vaggie, a woman with long silver hair and ashen purple skin, stab the demon through the chest, delivering unto it the very fate it had been trying to do unto her. Charlie was shrieking, absolutely losing her mind at the sight of Eleanora. 

The Princess of Hell scooped Eleanora up into her arms, muttering dozens of apologies and asking even more questions about how a human like her got here, while Vaggie went through the dead demon’s phone- because demons have phones in Hell- and discovered the bastard had tried to reverse engineer a summoning circle only to summon her, and then tried to sacrifice her while she was still unconscious in a second attempt of getting to Earth after his first scheme failed. 

It was… weird, and made very little sense to her, but Eleanora didn’t have any choice but to go along with it and let herself be carried to the Happy Hotel the two were attempting to run. 

Charlie asked Eleanora some questions, asked even more, panicked when she started to have an asthma attack, on the verge of falling unconscious, and frantically made a pact with her to save her life. The actual terms of the pact came after. 

A couple days later… Charlie called her father. 

He showed up immediately, teleporting to the front door, and Eleanora then embarrassed herself thinking he was Charlie’s brother. She then learned Charlie was a fucking princess and her dad was the King of Hell. 

Of all the people- she was saved by the heir to Hell’s throne? Holy shit. 

But, perhaps even more embarrassing, was Charlie trying to get Eleanora to sing to Lucifer about her situation and how she ended up under his daughter’s care. He was the same height as her, but his gaze had been fierce and intimidating, cane in his hands as he stood tall beside his much taller daughter, and practically ordered her to sing since that was what Charlie wanted. 

“It was… pitch black, I was laying on my back? I opened my eyes, saw a knife, knew things weren’t right? And… there was a demon, I was screamin’. A-And then Charlie… ooh, I can’t do this. This isn’t working. Charlie-!” 

“No, no, you’re doing great!” The princess had exclaimed. “Keep it up! I’ll be your backup vocals!” 

“I don’t think-” 

“It’s okay.” Lucifer had told Eleanora then, holding a hand up, looking very unimpressed by the whole thing. “Take your time. My daughter wants you to sing… so sing.” 

She felt like an utter clown. 

Thankfully, Charlie took over the majority of the song so Eleanora actually ended up as the backup vocals. Vaggie, unfortunately, wasn’t at the hotel at the time since she was out grocery shopping, so Eleanora had to face the King of Hell alone. 

After that horrible first meeting, Charlie made the two exchange numbers in case of an emergency. 

Eleanora should be fine since she has the pact with Charlie and merely has to summon her if she’s ever in danger, but Charlie was worried because the brunette was a live human in Hell and didn’t want to take any risks. Charlie was absolutely terrified for Eleanora’s safety. It was sweet of her, if not baffling, as Eleanora was unused to such heavy concern from anyone that wasn’t one of her siblings, and as a result found herself going along with it. 

Who’d have thought that would lead to Lucifer calling her frequently to ask after his daughter and her wellbeing? 

And now… here they are. 

Man, the back view of him with his tailcoat should not be as nice as it was. It was pure white, accented with only the slightest bit of red, two dots resembling an apple core embroidered in the curve of his lower back, and it fit him. Very, very well. Lucifer was giggling and muttering to himself, saying something about how these rubber ducks had to be perfect. He was incredibly excited now that he knew for sure his daughter would like the gifts. It was ridiculously attractive. 

Suddenly, a small yawn escaped Eleanora’s lips.

She blinked slowly, realizing just now how sleepy she was. It had been late at night when Lucifer called her, the woman having just been about to get ready for bed, but then he abducted her. 

“You’re calling… to ask about Charlie?” Eleanora remembered asking, baffled that he was doing this so late in the night. She had grown used to the frequent calls asking about his daughter, but this was definitely a first. “Why not just call her?” 

“Call her!? She’s- well… She’s busy! Probably. She might not pick up!” Yeah, because she’s asleep. “Just answer the question! Has anyone been bothering her? Give me names! W-Wait, no, has she been eating properly? She’s not wearing herself out with this hotel business, is she!?” 

Panicked. Concerned. 

Lucifer had sounded absolutely frantic. 

“Ah.” That explained the late night call. It was hard to imagine, but his anxiety must have gotten the better of him- and though she was tired, Eleanora tried her best to answer and calm him down. “Y-Yeah, she’s fine. And she’s not so busy that she’d ignore a call from you. I got so scared when your name popped up on my phone.”

Seriously- 

“Why not invite her over for some tea so you can catch up?” 

A pause, and then- “Invite… her over?” 

Eleanora had nodded, even though she knew he couldn’t see it, a sleepy smile on her lips. “Yeah, she’d love that! She once told me that she always wished she could get to know you better! If you aren’t comfortable calling her, why not write a letter? If you want, I could deliver it for you?” 

There was a long moment of silence.

“Y-Your… Majesty?” A surge of panic rushed through her. “F-Frick, was that out of line!? I’m sorry! Forget I said anything! I-“ 

Looking down at her phone screen, she blinked, realizing the call had ended. Lucifer had hung up on her. 

“Fuck.” 

Eleanora had begun to panic, fearing the worst and that he might kill her for her impertinence, when the devil himself appeared behind her several minutes later, grabbing her arm and flashing her a wicked grin. He told her she would only die if she “messed this up” and proceeded to envelope them in red mist, teleporting them to his castle. 

Thus, Lucifer kidnapped Eleanora… and demanded her assistance in writing a letter because all the ones he wrote in that short span of time had been horrible. 

“I don’t know what to write.” He stated bluntly. 

“…Ha?” The two of them ended up sitting on the floor, surrounded by crumpled papers and rubber ducks, and he had yet to let go of her arm. 

“What should I write in the letter?” 

Man, looking back on it, even though it’s only been a couple hours, it feels like an eternity since that conversation happened. What time is it now? It’s gotta be way past morning, 

A pact with the princess, a deal with the king… 

Her head fell from her hand to rest on her arm against the table, eyes sleepily watching the ever-focused back of the hardworking Lucifer before slowly closing, drifting off into sleep. 

Doubt I’m ever gettin’ into Heaven now. 

Her parents would literally cry. Well, not that she really cares. She was already a disappointment, anyways. 

…

The next time Eleanora opened her eyes, she wasn’t at the table anymore- instead finding herself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, a bright crimson blanket tossed over her resting form.

Blinking her eyes open and groggily looking down, she saw she was now sitting in a much larger chair, a pink-and-white striped pillow strategically placed between her head and the armrest. At first, she was very confused because she could have sworn she was at a table, but then crossed that out as a weird dream, before realizing she wasn’t exactly at the hotel either. 

Maybe that was also a dream, but… she didn’t recognize this chair and she especially did not recognize this blanket. 

“Huh?” Ah, whatever. She’s too tired for this. 

Her legs dangling off the other end, she yawned and closed her eyes again, about to doze off once more into sleep. Until it hit her… that the only way she could have moved was if someone had carried her. 

Eleanora also remembered that she wasn’t at the hotel right now, and since this wasn’t her house that meant the hotel wasn’t a dream, which meant this wasn’t a dream, which meant the only person who could have moved her was Lucifer. The King of Hell. 

She was still in his castle. 

The brunette immediately shot up into a sitting position, the pillow falling to the ground. “What!? Huh? How did-” 

The door to the room opened, and Lucifer came walking in, a tray holding a circus elephant-designed tea set in his hands. He jumped, eyes wide upon seeing Eleanora awake, and he let out an awkward laugh before rushing over to set the tray down on the table she had fallen asleep at. “O-Oh! You’re awake! Hi! Good morning! Kind of. It’s actually afternoon now. So sorry! I know I’m the one who brought you here and all, hehe, but, uh, yeah!” 

Lucifer stood up straight, clapping his hands together, looking very uncomfortable and like he’s forgotten how to talk to her during the time she’s been asleep. 

“Sooo….” The short king held up a finger, offering her a weak smile. “You hungry? I mean, it’s the least I can do, seeing as you stayed up all night to help me with the letter and even came up with the idea for the glitter-and-rainbow rubber ducks, and… all of that.” 

“Uh…” Eleanora stared at him blankly, then glanced at the tea tray he brought. She looked down at the pillow that had fallen and the blanket she was still using, before looking up at him again. She offered an equally awkward smile. “A little? Um, i-if… you really don’t mind. P-Please and thank you…” 

She really doesn’t want to intrude or overstep whatever boundaries and rules there are for this kind of thing. He was royalty after all, among other things. But she was really hungry. 

Lucifer practically jumped out of his boots in his excitement. “Yes! Of course! I mean, we’re basically friends now, right? Ahaha! A friend should offer a friend food! H-Here!” 

He rushed over to stand behind the chair she was on, grabbing the sides, and Eleanora let out a startled shout when he pushed it and her towards the table, knocking over several mountains of rubber ducks in the process. By the time the chair had stopped moving, Lucifer was already pouring her a cup of tea, setting it down in front of her and then snapping his fingers, several plates of breakfast food appearing in front of her- most of which were pancakes. 

Eleanora was frozen in place, eyes wide as could be. 

When she looked up at him, she saw Lucifer was rocking on his heels by the other side of the table, sharp teeth bared in a smile, one eye somewhat squinted. He nervously tapped his fingertips together. “D-Does it look alright?” 

“Y-Yeah!” She choked out, wondering if maybe this was the dream. “Uh, thank you! Really. I- uh, appreciate it.” 

“Good, good! Glad to hear it!” Lucifer laced his hands together, beaming, and stood there for a long minute, body completely stiff, before he reached out and tugged out a chair, several rubber ducks falling to the floor. He took a seat. Lucifer waved a hand at her. “G-Go ahead and eat! Don’t mind me.” 

Perhaps it was because her eyes reminded him so much of a doe, but she truly looked like a deer-in-the-headlights. “O-Okay…” 

Eleanora tentatively picked up a fork, poured some syrup onto what she prayed were normal eggs, pancakes, and bacon, cut herself a slice, and took a bite. She relaxed almost immediately, humming happily with the fork still in her mouth. 

Lucifer’s shoulders became noticeably less tense, his smile more relieved now. “Good, right?” 

“Mmhm!” Covering her hand with her mouth once she removed the fork, she chewed for a moment and swallowed, flashing him a grateful smile. “Thank you for the food!” 

He beamed. “Of course! Can’t have Charlie’s favorite human starve now can I? Haha, ha!” 

Well, that was a fake laugh if she ever heard one. 

“I’m actually rather fond of pancakes myself! The softer and fluffier, the better!” 

Lucifer shifted in his seat, starting to fiddle with his fingers before grabbing at a random non-deadly rubber duck and messing with it. 

“But th-that’s not- that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. We, uh, you and me-“ He coughed into a fist. “We made a deal! And… I-I think things with Charlie might actually go well?” 

Taking another bite of food and cutting one of the pancakes, Eleanora looked up at him with raised brows and curious eyes. 

“Charlie seemed- over the phone- she seemed really excited, a-and she said she liked all the things you thought she would, which means she might really like the letter and the gifts, and- well, y’know, I feel like I can- like I might actually be able to be a dad to her again!” 

Eleanora said nothing, merely letting him get his thoughts out. 

He ended up rambling the entire breakfast, and stopped only long enough to pour her another cup of tea with the elephant teapot when he saw she was about to do it herself. “You’re the guest! Don’t bother! Uh, where was I?” 

“...Charlie?” 

“Oh, yes!” Lucifer brightened immediately. He was squeezing the rubber duck like it was a stress ball. “So, I just- really, kind of- wanted to thank you? For… being so understanding and nice and not… getting upset… with me?” 

Finished with her plate, the brunette took a small sip of her tea before making a face. “The only thing I think I should be upset with is the kidnapping bit.” 

“Which is totally valid!” He exclaimed, standing up, the rubber duck being sent flying over his shoulder as he tossed it behind him. “I get it, really, I do! You were just minding your business and then the big boss of Hell came waltzin’ on in and stealing you away!” Lucifer waggled his eyebrows and let out another awkward laugh, holding his hands in the air. “Makes perfect sense. But I-” 

Seeing her quietly raising a hand, staring at him, waiting for a chance to speak, he cut himself off and blinked. 

“Yes?” 

“I… I said I think I should be upset with it- not that I am. Or was.” She made a face. Lucifer furrowed his brows. “You haven’t hurt me and you didn’t kidnap me with nefarious intent, so…” Eleanora gave a small shrug, lifting the cup up to her lips to take another sip of the tea. “It’s fine.” 

“...I see. G-Great! Wonderful.” 

He sat back down. 

Sitting completely still, Lucifer puffed out his cheeks, his eyes big as he stared into nothing, his thoughts running a hundred miles an hour. “Glad to… hear it.”

Outside, Eleanora was appearing calm. 

Inside, she was losing her absolute fucking mind. 

The King of Hell kidnapped her, then dragged her into a couple musical numbers. After giving him some advice and making sure he couldn’t back out of giving his daughter the letter he wrote, Eleanora fell asleep at the table. When she woke up, she realized he had carried her over to a much more comfortable chair so she could sleep, and then he pushed said chair with her still on it towards the table, and summoned pancakes for her to eat. 

Now he was apologizing… and thanking her? He was calling her a friend? 

No person has ever given her whiplash as much as this man has, because holy shit what is happening? Why is he being so nice to her all of a sudden? Is it really because they made the deal and because he truly believes the letter will go over well? He’s supposed to be the devil.

Honestly, she was a little worried… but overall Eleanora was convinced everything would go over well. 

Lucifer truly seemed to love his daughter- and Charlie said to her once before, on the day she introduced Lucifer and Eleanora to one another, a short while after the man left the hotel, that she always wanted to get to know her father better. So long as they communicate, it should be okay. 

They… do know how to communicate, right? 

Eleanora stared down at her empty teacup, purple-and-white stripes staring back at her. 

I think… I might be in trouble. 

She glanced up at Lucifer- only to freeze when she saw him just staring at her, smiling. 

“So!” He began, somehow looking both excited and terrified at the same time. “How… e-exactly are we gonna go about giving Charlie the letter? And… the rubber ducks?” 

Eleanora set the teacup down, doing her damndest to keep her breathing steady and to not panic. Something she likes to think she’s gotten good at after ending up in freaking Hell- where she could literally die if she took a wrong step upon leaving the hotel- even though she totally did panic earlier when Charlie called. “Well…”

Stay calm. Just breathe. 

Even if the King of Hell called her a friend, there’s no way he actually meant it. He might very well keep his promise to kill her if this goes wrong or if his relationship with his daughter worsens due to her interference. 

“I was thinking…” How can she say this without crossing the line? She fiddled with the teacup before slowly speaking with her hands, heart beating so fast she was scared it would burst out of her chest. Eleanora prayed- oh, the irony- that the devil king couldn’t hear it. “How about… after you take me back to the hotel…”

Lucifer leaned forward, nodding with each word, eager to hear her plan. “Uh-huh, uh-huh!” 

“I call Charlie, ask her to wait in the lounge, and…” 

“Give them to her!?”

She was thinking more along the lines that he gives the letter and gifts to Charlie with her acting as backup, but… okay. 

Maybe she can bring that up at the hotel. 

It’ll be fine. 

“Y-Yeah!” 

Lucifer jumped up, knocking his chair over as he threw his hands up into the air, laughing excitedly. “Great! Shall we go right now!? The sooner we get it to her the better!” 

“Huh? O-Oh! Uh, yeah! Sure!” 

Okay, no, Eleanora is starting to panic. This could go really bad. Maybe. She doesn’t actually know. 

This is the first time she’s getting involved in another family’s drama other than her own. She’s given advice plenty of times and that’s always seemed to work- it was the sole reason why the “friends” she had kept her around for so long before completely ditching and abandoning her after graduation- but she’s never been actively involved in the drama. 

Not to mention that her whole survival is sort of depending on this working out well…

“Alrighty! Let’s get going then!” Lucifer ran around the table to reach her, and Eleanora yelped when he snatched her hand and yanked her up onto her feet. The short king was practically vibrating in his excitement. “Whoa, can’t forget the gifts!” 

He snapped his fingers.

Eleanora didn’t know where the gift box and letter had been moved after she fell asleep, but wherever they used to be didn’t really matter since they suddenly appeared in front of her. With a small screech, she shot her arms to catch them, yanking her hand away from Lucifer’s. 

Cradling the items close, she gave the devil king an incredulous look. “W-Warning!? Please?” 

He just flashed her a beaming sharp-toothed smile, gently grabbing her shoulder, and as a look of confusion crossed her face they began teleporting. Eleanora’s vision was completely obscured by red mist, and as soon as it cleared and she could see again she saw that they were standing in her old dingy hotel room. 

Whoa. “That’s… some really smooth magic.” 

Lucifer grinned, chest puffing out a little proudly. “Well, I am the king. Or did you forget that I’m the Lucifer Morningstar?”

She pretended to think about it. “I meeeean…”

“Wha- oh, really!?” He looked deeply offended. “You actually forgot!?” 

“No!” Eleanora couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her, and Lucifer blinked. “I just wasn’t expecting it! I was so scared the first time I didn’t really focus on the actual teleporting. I always figured it would be kinda like… I dunno…”

He watched her struggle to explain, curiosity in his gaze. 

Eleanora twisted a hand awkwardly in the air. “Being pulled apart on like… a molecular level? Disassembled and reassembled? Or maybe painless and whole, but really dizzying?” 

“That sounds awful.” Lucifer deadpanned. “And highly uncomfortable.” 

The face he made was so disturbed, Eleanora barked out a laugh, finding it hilarious. Lucifer startled at the reaction, eyebrows raised high on his forehead. “Y-Yeah, it really does! But that’s how everyone writes it as being! Which… makes sense? In a way? I guess it’s just us humans trying to “logic” it even though it’s just plain “magic” and “magic” is… magical! Ahaha!” 

“Hehe…” He let out a small chuckle, not looking nearly as disturbed as before. Lucifer’s features actually started to soften, and he began to lean forward- only to stop upon realizing he didn’t have his cane to support his weight. He settled for awkwardly resting his hands on his hips instead, tilting his head and grinning at her. “I suppose that’s true. You humans don’t exactly know how to accept a miracle as it is.” 

She nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. “T’is true, t’is true. I’m still trying to rationalize how Charlie managed to rescue me in time before that demon sacrificed me, buuuut there’s probably not much point in wondering about it.” 

Lucifer is actually questioning that himself, but he’s more curious why it was Eleanora that was summoned and not another filthy rotten Sinner. This definitely isn’t the time to be thinking about it, though. 

“…So…” 

Eleanora blinked, turning to face him. Lucifer flashed her a nervous smile. He moved so he was standing face-to-face with her, lifting his hands up to nervously press his index fingers together. 

“This is the part where you call Charlie, right?” 

Panic round three, here we go. “R-Right! Of course. Th-That’s the whole point of this, right? Haha… uh…” 

Nerves utterly wrecked, Eleanora carefully moved to set the gift box and letter down on a nearby dresser and pulled out her phone, tapping open her most recent contacts and hitting Charlie’s name. Lucifer hunched over, hands curled close to his face, biting his lower lip in anticipation as he listened to the phone ring. 

When Charlie picked up, he inhaled sharply through his dagger-like teeth, holding his breath. “El?”

“Heeeey! Um, are you at the hotel right now?”

“Yes! Is the surprise ready?”

Eleanora glanced at Lucifer, her smile a bit strained. “Just about~? Uh… c-can you go wait in the lounge for me? I’ll be there in… like, five minutes. And… close your eyes? Pretty please?” 

“O-Oh, of course! Absolutely! Eeeek, I’m so excited! Okay, okay! I’ll see you in five! Ooooh, I can’t wait!” 

Charlie hung up. 

Eleanora felt like she was standing on a tightrope, one that was wobbling and leaving her to dangle precariously as she struggled not to fall off the edge. Her stomach churned when she saw Lucifer looking up at her in confusion. 

“Eyes closed?” He echoed, brows furrowing. “Why would she need her eyes closed?”

Oh, gods, this was going to be hard. 

Careful not to drop her phone, Eleanora flashed the devil king as encouraging a smile she could muster, gesturing to the gifts and then to him. “I was thinking, maybe, just a suggestion, really, that the surprise would be even better… if you’re there as I give them to her?” 

Lucifer’s face immediately went blank. 

“O-Or!” She stammered, stepping back and holding a finger up. “Even better! You could give them to her, a-and I’m there for emotional support! Charlie would love that, y’know!? Sh-She’ll be so happy to see you, and combine your presence with the letter and the ducks- I mean…!” 

Eleanora let out an awkward laugh. 

“She’ll be bouncing off the walls!” 

“…You-“ Lucifer’s face seemed to recover some form of emotion, his brain finally catching up and processing everything she was saying. He pointed at himself, face a mixture of concern and confusion. “You want… me… to deliver the letter?” 

“I’ll go with you!” The brunette hurriedly exclaimed. “It’ll be good for you guys! R-Really, really good!” 

He looked hesitant, turning partially away from her as he brought his fingers up to his lips, starting to gnaw at his gloves again. “I-I dunno…” 

“It’ll be great!” Eleanora insisted, becoming a little pleading, as neither confrontation nor persuasion were her strong suits- but she really needed to convince him to do this. For both her sake, and theirs. “You… trusted me this far, so why not a little further? She’s waiting downstairs. I-I mean, sure, I haven’t known Charlie very long, but… she’s super honest! I know she’ll be happy to see you.” 

At her words, Lucifer fell silent and lowered his head, glancing over at the gift box and letter she had set down. His teeth were really starting to dig into his fingers, golden droplets of ichor starting to glimmer through the torn fabric. 

Eleanora could feel a slight frustration build up in the midst of her anxiety, but she tried to calm herself and think. She’s been able to get him to come this far, but now he’s trying to run away again. 

To give up. 

He was scared of the responsibility he’d have to take if he followed through with it. That’s why he always quit while he was ahead and settled for waiting. Yet waiting doesn’t do anything, except broaden the gap until the years fly by and an abyss has formed. If left on his own to deal with this, by the time he’ll figure out what’s happened… it’ll be too late. 

Eleanora could feel some of the strength leave her, gazing at the depressed wreck that was the King of Hell, only to squeeze her eyes shut and rip her gaze away to stare at the old wooden door, wracking her brain to try and figure out what she could say to get him to work with her. 

Does he need another song? What is even with Hell and its need for musical numbers? 

Eleanora loves a good musical and listened to music constantly every single day before coming down here, but she’s never had to sing to comfort someone or cheer them up or to make a deal or… anything of the sort. She only ever sang for the fun of it, but even that was limited due to her severe asthma. After she graduated and was ditched by her friends, and her health fell so downhill right before the pandemic, she even stopped socializing with people that weren’t her siblings. 

She doesn’t know how to comfort people. She’s amazed she’s even gotten this far. 

Encouraging Lucifer, convincing him to finish the letter and to make the rubber ducks… all of it had been so difficult for her. She was lucky she could even think of the right songs to sing. But what is she supposed to sing now? 

What would even resonate with him? 

The sun goes down, the stars come out, and all that counts is here and now; the universe will never be the same, I’m- 

No, that won’t work, even if she did change up the lyrics to make it sound like she was talking about Charlie. The middle part didn’t fit at all. 

History Maker? 

Eleanora dismissed that one, too- although she should probably keep it in mind in case he needs encouragement for something that doesn’t involve his daughter. If he has a big idea he wants to make but thinks it’ll go bad even though it’ll be fine, she can sing that then. Yeah. 

But what about right now!? 

In a moment of desperation, she unlocked her phone and flicked through one of her many playlists, nibbling at her bottom lip. Her heart was racing again, the woman feeling as though everything- her survival, Lucifer and Charlie’s father-and-daughter bond- was hinging on her finding the right song to sing. 

After a painfully suffocating moment of her stomach dropping into the pit of her stomach, Eleanora feeling the seconds tick on by like the end of the world was about to occur, she finally stopped scrolling, finding something that may just work. 

Googling the lyrics to refresh her memory, she pocketed the device and took a deep breath, mentally screeching at her heart to calm down. 

She can do this. 

How is she going to do this? No idea. But Lucifer is still biting his fingers and- 

Dude, stop, you’re hurting yourself! 

Eleanora had moved before she realized it, boldly snatching his wrist and tugging his hand away from his mouth. His red gaze shot up to meet hers, eyes wide as could be, and she swallowed down the lump that had caught in her throat. 

Lips parting, not knowing what to say, the lyrics came out.  “Two… birds… on a wire~!” 

Fuck, she’s gotta commit to the bit now. 

“One~ tries to fly… away, and the other… watches her close… from that wire.” 

It didn’t take Lucifer long to figure out where she was going with this. 

“He says he wants to, as well,” Lucifer curled his lips back at Eleanora’s words, seeing her narrow her eyes at him as she slid her hand down to grab his, squeezing his bleeding fingers, “but he is a liar.” 

“I’m not-“ 

“Aren’t you?” She questioned. Lucifer faltered. “Do you or do you not want to see your daughter?” 

So much pain crossed his face then, Eleanora felt like an absolute villain for this. Thankfully, the next few lyrics were exactly what she wanted to say. Loosening her grip, she let a small smile fall across her lips, and she stepped back towards the door, bravely grabbing and lifting his two hands up in an attempt to get her point across. 

“I’ll believe~ it all~!” Oh, ew, her voice cracked. “There’s nothing I won’t understand.” 

Lucifer lifted his head, yellow eyes growing wide as his red irises dilated. 

“I’ll believe~ it all~!” Giving his fingers a gentle squeeze, she tugged him towards her. Rather than pulling away or keeping his heels rooted in place, he found himself walking towards her, and she laced their fingers together as she rested their hands against her chest and over her heart. Eleanora gave him the gentlest smile she could muster, internally cursing herself as she could feel her eyes water. “I won’t~ let go~ of your hand.” 

She doesn’t know how to fight or survive in Hell without help, without relying on the princess or her kingly father, but she genuinely did want to help them. 

Charlie has been so kind to her, saving her without even knowing her name or how she got there until Vaggie figured it out. She made a pact with her just to keep her healthy. Eleanora owes Charlie so much. 

And Lucifer… 

Well, he could definitely be scary, but he’s clearly been through a lot and had a lot of anxiety on top of his fairly obvious depression. He’s probably been on his own for so long, and had been hurt so badly by his divorce, that he didn’t know how to show his emotions properly, or how to even act on them. He was so terrified of being rejected by his daughter that he’d rather reject himself so she wouldn’t have to. 

He wasn’t very friendly when they first met, but he hasn’t been mean to her. When she fell asleep watching him work, he carried her to a more comfortable chair and not only gave her a blanket, but also set a pillow under her head so the armrest wouldn’t mess up her neck. 

Lucifer was… kind, which is something she never expected from the King of Hell. But maybe that’s just because she never gave it or the old biblical stories much thought in the past. He was the devil, a fallen archangel, and yet- at the same time- he was so… human.

Fitting, considering it was he who gave humanity free-will in the first place. 

“Two birds… on a wire~!” The brunette sang softly. “One~ says “come on” and the other says “I’m tired”. The sky is overcast… and I’m sorry…” 

His eyes began to water, but when he tried to look away Eleanora moved to meet his gaze, careful not to let her smile fall. 

“One more or one less… nobody’s worried. I’ll believe~ it all~! There’s nothing I won’t understand.” The corners of her eyes crinkled sweetly, and the blond king bit his bottom lip, staring into her sincere eyes, his emotions threatening to spill out in the form of tears. “I’ll believe… it all~ I won’t let go of your hand.” 

She tugged him towards the dresser she set the gifts on and unlaced her fingers from his left hand, but didn’t let go as she lifted and rested that very same hand on the letter. Eleanora could feel his hand tense beneath hers, the man so deeply terrified of something that should be so simple. 

“Two… birds…  of a feather, say that they’re always~ gonna stay together.” Brown eyes glanced to the side to stare at the so-called devil king, and Lucifer lifted his head, desperation painting across his handsome reptilian features as he looked at her. “But one’s… never going~ to let go… of that wire. He says that he will, but…” 

Eleanora paused, and Lucifer’s hand twitched against the letter. 

She let her smile fall. “Is he just a liar?” 

“…No.” Lucifer’s expression hardened. When he turned to face Eleanora this time, his crimson eyes were burning with determination. “He’s not.” 

Picking up the box and letter, he took in a deep breath and then gripped Eleanora’s hand tight in his, surprising her when he began to march towards the door. His gloves sparked with magic, fixing the tears his teeth had made, hiding any and all blood that had been spilled. 

“Let’s go find my daughter!” 

Eleanora yelped as she had no choice but to take after him. “I-I wasn’t done with the song!” 

“Doesn’t matter, you did good! We’re doing this! No take-backs!” 

Well, that works out, she supposed. It’s a little… weird he’s still holding her hand, but... she doesn’t really want to bring it up. It was just a part of the song, but he seems to be taking it pretty seriously. If holding his hand is all it takes for him to actually talk to Charlie, then that’s fine with her. 

She’d actually kind of like to be friends with Lucifer- even if said friendship is just another lie in the end and she’s bound to be forgotten and left behind. 

Two birds… on a wire~! 

It’ll be nice in the moment, and that’s what she wants to focus on. 

One~ tries to fly away and the other~ watches him close from that wire! She says she wants to as well, but she~ is a liar… 

There were a lot of twists and turns, and after a little too long of running Eleanora had to dig in her heels and ask the devil king to slow down, wheezing and struggling to catch her breath. He was visibly startled by her exhausted state, having not realized how fast he was making her run, and flashed her an apologetic smile as he waited for her to recover. 

Two… birds… on a wire~! 

Lucifer made himself walk after that, the nervousness starting to show now that the hotel lounge was in sight. All that was left was for them to head down the staircase. He looked at the woman beside him nervously, the anxiety making itself known now that they were actually here. 

One tries to fly… away… and the other…

Eleanora gave him an encouraging smile, and giving his hand a small squeeze she gestured with her chin towards Charlie, who was sitting patiently in a chair, a large beaming smile on her round, very pretty face. Vaggie was standing beside her. 

Lowering her voice to a whisper, Eleanora said, “Trust me.”

Then, without further adieu, began to guide the King of Hell down the staircase. 

Hearing the footsteps, Vaggie looked up- only to gasp when she saw Lucifer beside the human woman. “What!? Why is-“ 

Eleanora was quick to hold a finger up over her lips, silently asking her to be quiet. Vaggie’s jaw dropped, and her expression only twisted more, brows furrowed in heavy confusion, when she saw the way Lucifer’s hand was entwined with hers. Charlie swayed in her seat, leaning towards her girlfriend excitedly. “What is it, Vaggie?” 

“Uh, n-nothing!” She stammered. “The surprise is just… very… surprising?” 

“Oooooh~! Does that mean I can open my eyes now!?” 

“Not yet!” Eleanora rushed over upon hearing the question, panicking, and once they were both standing in front of the two women she tapped Lucifer’s hand. 

The short king blinked, looking down with a befuddled face, only to jump, having not realized he was still holding onto her. He released the human, moving to hold onto the gift box and letter with both hands, and Eleanora grabbed Lucifer’s shoulders so he was in front and standing directly in front of his daughter. She gave Vaggie a thumbs up, and then directed it towards Lucifer, flashing him one last encouraging grin. 

He was completely frozen, a smile plastered on his face in his fright. 

“It’s okay.” Eleanora mouthed, “You got this. I’m here.” 

Swallowing thickly, Lucifer nodded, and they turned to look at the blonde who was doing her absolute damndest to stay still and not open her eyes. 

“Okay, Charlie…” Eleanora began, feeling her voice rise alongside the stress and excitement. “Open them!” 

Charlie’s eyes snapped open so fast, it took a second for her to process what she was seeing. She stood up, alarmed. “Dad!?” 

“Surpriiiise~!?” He made himself sing, while Eleanora threw her arms out from behind him, popping out to the side. 

“Tad~ah~!” 

“What… you…” She clearly did not know what to think, fumbling for words and pointing at the two adults. “Huh!?” 

Vaggie smacked a hand to her face. “I said it was surprising…” 

“Wait, hold on!” Charlie brought her hands to her face, looking at Lucifer and then Eleanora. “You… were with my dad? This whole time!?” 

“Maybe? Anyways, not important!” The brunette jumped sideways and gestured to Lucifer, trying to focus everyone’s attention on him and what he was holding. “What is important is what he has to say!” 

Charlie has never felt more lost, but turned her gaze back to her father anyway. He cringed a little as he smiled, lips spreading wide and his sharp teeth baring themselves to the world. “H-Hey, Charlie~! Sweetheart. We, uh, didn’t… r-really get to talk before, but, uh, hey! Hehe.” 

An awkward pause. 

Eleanora stepped closer as subtly as she could and tapped his boot with her shoe. He stiffened, and in an almost robotic fashion held the gifts out to his daughter. “H-Here! I… um… I-I was wondering, if… if… you aren’t… aren’t, um, y’know…” 

As he struggled to get the words out, Charlie shared a look with Vaggie before reaching out to take the gift box from him, the young blonde woman holding the envelope up and observing it with both curiosity and confusion. There were several cutesy looking doodles on the paper that Eleanora definitely did not remember being there before. She could make out rainbows, hearts, Charlie’s name, and a duck. 

“Busy? Uh… haha…” Lucifer was sweating.

Eleanora could feel the second-hand anxiety. 

Deciding it was now or never, she rested a hand on Lucifer’s shoulder, causing him to inhale sharply and go silent, the man freezing in place. Eleanora flashed Charlie the sweetest smile. “Your dad was wondering if you were free sometime soon! He wanted to invite you over for tea. Maybe hear more about what you’re trying to do with the hotel?” 

“Wait…” Her eyes widened, and she looked at her father in shock, unable to believe what she was hearing. Slowly, her features began to soften, her eyes welling up with tears. Charlie held the gift box close, pressing the unopened letter to her chest. “Really? You… actually want to spend time with me, Dad?” 

Lucifer snapped out of his daze, hearing his daughter call out to him. “Y-Yes! Of course! Charlie, I-“ 

Lips curling back, he stepped forward, and Eleanora moved to stand beside Vaggie, quietly watching the scene take place. 

“I always want to spend time with you. I just…” Lucifer hesitated, and after a moment looked away, ashamed of himself. “I didn’t… want to bother you.” 

“Dad…” Charlie was fully crying now. 

She practically threw herself on him, gift box in one hand and the letter in the other, as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tight. Lucifer wasn’t much better, tears stinging his eyes as he curled his arms around his daughter’s back. 

“I’d love to come over and talk! Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to ask!?” 

His lips curled back and he tightened his grip on her, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. “Charlie-!” 

“I’ve missed you~!”

“I’ve missed you~!”

“I always wanted to know you~ and now I have this chance!” She pulled back, arms resting on his shoulders, as they gazed tearily into each other’s eyes, smiles on their near identical happy  faces. “I won’t let it pass me by, so don’t you even try! Dad, I can’t wait to come over! I’ll have to start planning in advance~ what to tell you, of course, because there’s just so much to go over!” 

Charlie let out a squeal, and Lucifer laughed in both anxious relief and overwhelming delight. She pulled him into another hug. 

“I can’t wait!” 

They stood there hugging for quite some time, to the point where Vaggie raised a brow and turned to Eleanora, who blinked and stared up at her. “What?” 

Glancing at the father and daughter duo who were hugging and smiling through their tears, Vaggie grabbed the older human’s arm and dragged her over to the stairs so they could talk without disturbing them. Once there, she looked down at her with narrowed eyes. “How long have you two been planning this?” 

“Huh? Oh…” The brunette made a face, looking up at the dusty ceiling and thinking about it. “Since, like… three or four am? He called me before I went to bed and… yeah. I suggested he write Charlie a letter, but he was having trouble so he kinda… kidnapped me?” 

Vaggie no doubt was remembering them very specifically asking if she had been kidnapped, and looked at Eleanora in disbelief. “So… what? You were just at the King of Hell’s house… all night?” 

Eleanora shrugged, trying not to think about what Vaggie could potentially be implying. “He needed help- and I like Charlie. She’s a sweetie.” 

At that, Vaggie paused… then smiled and let out a soft chuckle, turning to gaze affectionately at her girlfriend who was now chatting happily with her father, opening the gift box and absolutely bouncing in excitement when she squeezed the rubber ducks just to see that they spat out rainbows and glitter confetti. They had adorable little ribbons tied around their necks. “Yeah… she is.” 

The silver-haired woman looked back at the awkwardly smiling brunette, who was definitely wondering if she was in trouble and about to be kicked out of the hotel. 

Thankfully, that was not what Vaggie was thinking. It was the furthest thing from it. “Thanks, El. I don’t know what you did to convince him to talk to her, but… you just made Charlie’s year.” 

She choked. “H-Her year?” 

“Charlie’s?” Vaggie laughed. “Ohhhh, yeah.” 

Suddenly, the Princess of Hell called out, waving a hand at the two of them, one of her arms wrapped loosely around her short dad’s shoulders. “Oooh! Vaggie, Vaggie, come here! I didn’t get to introduce you last time!” 

Now it was Vaggie’s turn to tense up and look awkward, having to face the most dangerous and deadly thing of all… the father-in-law. “O-Oh! Right! Of course. Um…” 

She walked over and gave Lucifer a timid wave, mustering up a smile. 

“Hi.”

Pulling away from Lucifer, Charlie set the rubber ducks and unopened letter down, moving to stand beside Vaggie and lift up one her hands, smiling down at her encouragingly before they both looked at the blond king, who was beaming brightly up at them. “This is~ Vaggie! She’s my girlfriend!” 

Lucifer’s eyes practically bugged out of his head, and Eleanora cringed, realizing just now that he had no idea his daughter was a lesbian. 

He seemed to take it fairly well, though… in the only way an awkward and formerly estranged father could. 

“Oho, my golly! You like girls!” Lucifer laughed, resting a hand over his chest- his poor heart nearly jumping out of his ribcage from the surprise that his daughter was dating someone. He brought a hand to his cheek, then fervently gestured from himself to Charlie and back to him again. “Yes- well, uh- so do I! We have so much in common!”

He tossed his arms out, his panic evident with how quickly he was speaking.

“You put ‘er there, Maggie!” Vaggie reached out to shake his hand, not at all seeming perturbed he got her name wrong, only to yelp when he tugged her into an abrupt hug. “Welcome to the family! Ahaha! Ha! Yeah…!” 

He released her and she stumbled back, laughing awkwardly herself. “L-Lovely to meet you! Uh, sir?”

“Call me Dad!”” Lucifer looked up at Charlie, praying she approved of him approving. “Sh-She’s so pretty! Hehe.” 

Charlie flashed him a smile, wrapping an arm around Vaggie and pulling her close. She pressed a kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead, her red eyes shimmering with what was most certainly the purest form of love as she gazed down at Vaggie, who was deeply touched by Charlie’s affection. “Isn’t she?”

Eleanora remained standing by the staircase, silent and forgotten. 

Okay, well… this looks like it’s going well. Eleanora nodded to herself, taking a step back up onto the staircase. They don’t… need me anymore, right? 

Lucifer seems like he’ll do just fine on his own. 

I’m just… gonna run away now. 

She’s not part of the family, and she’ll just feel uncomfortable if she hangs around, bound to stand in a corner silently the entire time the three talk. Eleanora has spent the majority of her life as an extra forgettable wheel in her old so-called friend groups; she’s not about to continue that in Hell. 

Besides, her job here is done. 

Charlie and Lucifer… can only go up from here. 

Seeing them, and Vaggie, happy was good enough for her. 

Taking a deep breath, she turned around and started to quietly sneak her way up the staircase, doing her best to avoid the creaky steps. She had gotten halfway up when she suddenly heard a loud, 

“Whoa! No, no, no! Where do you think you’re going!?” 

By the time she looked behind her, Lucifer had already snatched her hand, having run up the stairs with incredible speed. The brunette was frozen, eyes wide as could be, baffled by the look he was giving her. 

“No running out on me!” He exclaimed, voice a hushed growl. “You promised!” 

“B-But you-“ Eleanora was so confused. “You’re doing great! You got this!” 

Lucifer yanked her hand, and if he wasn’t right there to catch her, she might have fallen down the stairs. He lifted his face right up to hers, the brunette’s nose nearly touching where he should have one. “I do not got this! I am clearly panicking! I could say the wrong thing at any second! Please! Don’t…” His expression softened. “Don’t leave me on my own.” 

Brown eyes gazed into pleading red, and as she stared at him, observing his facial features and taking note of the sheer intensity of his emotions, trying to pinpoint what it all was she was seeing, Eleanora started to have the strangest feeling that this was about more than just being afraid of talking to his daughter by himself.

Unfortunately, before she could say anything else or ask him about it, she heard Charlie calling out from her spot in the lounge,

“Dad!? El? Is… everything okay?” The blonde couldn’t hear what either of them were saying. “What’s going on!?” 

Eleanora peered at the blond from over Lucifer’s shoulder, feeling his hand squeezing hers in a desperate search for encouragement, the devil king needing someone by his side. “Uh… nothing! Um…” 

Frick. This probably looks super weird, doesn’t it? 

“I, uh…” Should she bail or stay with him? It’s hard to run off when he looks so scared. “I was just-“

“Charlieeee~!” Lucifer sang, spinning on his heel and tugging the brunette down so she was standing beside him. “Sweetie! Sweetheart. I-I just didn’t want little Ellie here to sneak away before I could give credit where credit is due! Haha! Isn’t that right, Ellie!?” 

“Credit?” She echoed, befuddled by his declaration. “What… credit? Credit for what?” 

He didn’t answer, instead making his way down the staircase and taking her with him, his hand holding firmly onto hers. When they were in front of Charlie and Vaggie again, he tugged Eleanora close and held up the hand he was holding, flashing the human a wide grin. “You came up with the idea to gift Charlie the rubber duckies! I made them, but you came up with the idea!” 

“Awww, is that true!?” Charlie gushed, squishing her hands against her cheeks. “El~ that’s so sweet! I can’t believe you really worked with my dad just to surprise me!” 

“I-I was just- oof!” 

Eleanora was not prepared to be tackled by the Princess of Hell. “Thank you, thank you, thank you~! I don’t deserve a friend like you!” 

Wait, what? 

“I’m so glad it was you who ended up down here!” 

Charlie paused. 

Loosening her grip, she pulled back and gave the stunned human an apologetic look. “I mean, I’m not glad you were forcibly summoned against your will or anything like that and are kinda stuck down here in Hell until we figure something out, but like- I’m glad it was you that was summoned? Because you’re super nice? Not that I’m glad you’re down here, or that I’m glad you’re down here, but I’m glad that it was you who ended up down here? I mean-“ 

Realizing Charlie was about to ramble herself into a stupor, Eleanora snapped out her shock and held her hands- and Lucifer’s, since he still hasn’t let go, like he was afraid she’d run away- up to try and calm her. “I-It’s all good! I got it! I… know what you meant.”

“O-Oh! Good.” Charlie smiled awkwardly and stepped back, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I started to confuse myself a little, hehe. Uh…”

Her gaze landed on the hand Lucifer was holding. 

Charlie’s red eyes flickered over to her father, who was smiling, focused solely on his daughter, to Eleanora, who was also staring at the blonde. “Well! We don’t… have anything super fancy we can prepare for dinner, Dad, and we only just started working on the hotel so we still have a lot of work to do to make it more… presentable, but… if you’d like to join us…” She raised her arms up in a hopeful shrug. “The offer’s there?” 

“Abso~lutely!” Lucifer exclaimed, stepping forward and pumping the air with his free fist. He was grinning as wide as his face would allow, practically standing on his tiptoes. “I’d love to!” 

Charlie clapped her hands together, beaming. “Great! Vaggie?” 

The silver-haired woman was already heading up the steps, making her way to the kitchen to start cooking. “On it!” 

“I’ll show you around in the meantime, Dad! Come on!” She waved him over, gesturing for him to follow her, tactfully deciding not to question why her father and the human she recently made a pact with were holding hands. “We’ve got so many plans for this place, just you wait! When it’s ready, maybe you can come over and have another look!” 

In the end, Eleanora had accepted her fate, realizing she had somehow unintentionally become Lucifer’s emotional support human. But whether that was a good thing or bad… 

She didn’t really know. 

“Oooh,” Charlie squealed, waving her fists excitedly in the air, “I can’t wait until we get our first real resident! Today’s a great day! And I can just tell tomorrow is gonna be amazing, too!” 

Eleanora also didn’t really know why Lucifer’s hand felt as nice as it did. 

She just hoped no one would say anything weird about it.

[blood-mocha-latte]

person, illustrate, rampant, jealous, hilarious - webgott drabble

for an ask from @mutantmanifesto || request an edit/drabble || this got way more introspective than i meant it to be, oopsies

“Janovec was a good guy.” Joe said from behind Webster, as the other faced the lake.

“I know.” Web said. He didn’t turn around. “Good guy, good soldier, good person.”

Joe hummed, and walked the length of the pier to stand next to him. Web sat with his boots unlaced next to him, feet in the water. Joe stayed standing. “Least it was quick.” He offered.

“Maybe.” Web said. Joe turned to look at him, to study his profile. The wedge of his nose, the curve of his jaw. The reflection of his eyes off the lake, making both seem more vivid than they actually were. 

Joe shifts, and the wood of the pier creaks under his boots. “Y’alright?” He offered.

“No.” Web said, and looked down at the closed notebook in his lap. He must have shut it when he’d heard Joe coming. “But it’s fine. Who is, anyways.” Joe shrugged.

“Fair point.” He said. Webster kept his eyes on the notebook.

“Think it might have been my fault, you know.” He said absently. Joe didn’t say anything. “I was rushing him.” Joe shrugged.

“When Tab got stabbed way back after D-Day,” He said, and paused for a moment, finding his thoughts. “When he was trying to wake up Smith for watch, I knew it was just him in Kraut getup. I still didn’t do anything ‘till after he was hurt.” Web frowned at his hands.

“That’s different.” He said. “You probably just thought that Smith knew it was just Tab, too.” Joe shrugged.

“And you probably just thought he’d be able to get back to town quicker and see his new German girlfriend.” He said, and Web huffed. Not exactly happy, but lighter all the same.

“That doesn’t make it any better.” He said, and for the first time, looked up at Joe. Joe just shrugged a second time, grunting as he dropped to the ground next to Web, crossing his legs.

“Nah.” He says, and looks back out at the lake. “It never will.” Web’s quiet, for a moment.

“Never, you think?” He asked. 

“No.” Joe said. “Why would it? Blood’s still blood, even fifty years later.” From next to him, Web hummed.

“I guess that’s true.” He said, thoughtful. Then, “I like talking to you, when you’re not being an ass.” Joe snorted, but didn’t say anything. The lake moved in soft ripples, barely even visible, and he watched it with something close to nostalgia, which was ridiculous. He didn’t even like going to the ocean, back in California.

They stayed quiet until Joe couldn’t stand the silence, and then he said, “I got enough points to go home. Guess I will be, anyways.” Web huffed.

“I don’t know anyone who’d go to the Pacific willingly now, anyways.” He said. Joe shrugged.

“Just stating the obvious.” He said. “What about you? Thinking about going home?”

“Can’t.” Web said, and it surprised Joe all the same. “Four points short.” 

“You jumped on D-Day.” Joe said, just to say it. “And at Market Garden.”

“I know.” Web said back. “It’s just not good enough.”

It was quiet again.

“Sorry.” Joe said grudgingly.

“It’s fine.” Web said, and looked back down at his notebook. “I figure I’ll either find some sort of inspiration there to write what I want to, or I’ll end up strewn along like bloody hamburger across an island. Either way, it could be worse.” Joe wrinkled his nose.

“Way to paint a picture, Web.” He said. “Jesus.” Web hummed.

“I like to illustrate my words.” He said.

“Well, quit it.” Joe said back.

Web didn’t say anything. He just smiled, softly, at his notebook. Joe didn’t let himself smile back. It was quiet, and this time Web broke it.

“I’m not going to apologize for what happened.” He said, and Joe needed no further clarification.

“Would respect you even less if you did.” He said. He shifted against the pier, which was sun-warmed and almost scorching against his palms.

“I just don’t want to run rampant and kill if I don’t have to.” Web said. He seemed unbothered by the warmth, pressing into it and baring up to it. Joe didn’t agree with what he said, but didn’t say so. He didn’t need to.

“Well, you didn’t.” He said, and paused. “Kill, that is. Skinny did.” Web snorted.

“And how the hell do you think he feels, having that on his conscience.” He said. It wasn’t a question. Joe didn’t answer it like one.

“Some people shouldn’t live.” He said, and thought of barbed wire and the men that built it.

“I know.” Web said, and Joe knew he was thinking of the same thing. “But we’re not in control of that.”

“Well, what if I want to be?” 

“Then I feel sorry for you.” Web murmured, voice dropping slightly. He ran two fingers down the spine of his notebook. Joe snorted. It came out a little bitter.

“Please, you’d probably be jealous of me.” He said. “I heard what happened, with the baker.” 

Web sighed and shifted, turning so he faced Joe fully. Joe met his eyes like a challenge, even though Web just looked… tired. Done, with everything.

“Most of the time, I still wish I’d shot that fucker through the neck.” He said, the vivid blue of his eyes giving his words an even more unsettling feel as they bore into Joes. “That’s what scares me. That if I could redo that moment, I probably wouldn’t hesitate to pull the trigger.”

“But you’d leave a man even guiltier than that baker alive?”

Web shrugged and looked back out at the lake. “I’m a shitty person, Lieb.” He said. Joe snorted.

“I know.” He said. “It’s fine, though, because I’m an angel.”

The corner of Web’s mouth twitched. “Hilarious.” He said dryly. Joe grinned.

“I know.” He said again. He watched Web for only a few more moments before he shifted again, pulling himself back up. “C’mon, let’s go back.” Web huffed.

“Where?” He asked. Joe shrugged.

“Barracks.” He said. He looks at Web’s profile again, then his boots at his side, then at the notebook in his lap. “After that… I’m not sure.”

Web’s mouth curved into a smile. “After that, huh.” He said, and sounded needlessly smug. Joe grinned, reached down to curve a hand across the back of his neck and tug him upright.

“C’mon,” He said again. “You asshole.”

Web laughed, and let Joe pull him up.

[hiswordsarekisses]

“I am deeply grieved that so many in this day(she lived 300 years ago, people never change)even some good people, allow themselves to be led astray by the enemy. Has not God warned us against false prophets and lying wonders of the last days? All true prophets have spoken in the name of the Lord-”Thus says the Lord.” The enemy gains great advantage because people love extraordinary manifestations, signs and wonders. I believe the inordinate love of external signs is used of the enemy to draw people away from the Word of God and from the inward way of faith.The signs that come from God encourage you to die to yourself. (Intimacy with Christ..p21)

Madam Guyon spoke prophetically when she said that “the inordinate love of external signs is used of the enemy to draw people away from the word of God.” According to Barna , this generation is the most Biblically illiterate generation for almost 300 years.

You see, what the Jewish people wanted, much like Christianity of today, was signs and wonders that would enhance their lives. Their illnesses would be healed, they would be fed, but most of all that it would lead to the destruction of their enemies and position them in a place of power and influence. They needed outward signs that would not only prove God was who He said He was, but that He served their worldly interests. If they could not have God serve them, then they would not believe or follow Him. This is actually the opposite of faith.

They wanted the substance of things seen. The Greeks wanted wisdom, they wanted to fully understand and master a philosophy. If they could not understand the subject, in this case God, then He would be rejected. They only wanted to follow what they could understand in their own minds. They were in effect their own little gods. Again, the opposite of faith. What they both got was Calvary. And by being focused on outward signs and philosophies, they missed the greatest event in the history of the planet.

God Himself had stepped into time and space. Not as a rich man, not a highly educated man, but as a poor working man. The Lord Jesus was born amongst the filth and stench of a manger, not in a palace or in a temple, but in the very lowest reaches of the earth. If you are a religious man or a worldly man, Jesus is going to disappoint you every time. He will not perform at the whim of men, He came to die and to bid others to do the same. To the Jews and much of Christendom today, a stumbling block, to the Greeks and the educated class of today, foolishness. Let no one doubt this though, Jesus had come to conquer, and conquer He did. He conquered doubts, He conquered fears, He conquered death He conquered pride and He conquered sin.

So for most people Calvary is offensive. They want, no demand victory over their circumstances. They want to follow a God that will give them their best lives now. Yet the way of the cross is the same today as it was then. It signifies death, death to ourselves and the things of this world. It signifies victory in the midst of our circumstances. We see in the cross the perfect example of obedience which followed Gethsemane. When we embrace the circumstances of our lives, that the steps of a righteous man are ordered of God, this is the beginning of faith. When we surrender to the Lord in the very midst of the most difficult circumstances, then a whole other world opens up before us as we willingly take up our cross, this is the narrow road that leads to life and ironically the road that leads to the miraculous. This is a life that leads us to embracing and moving in the unconditional love of God that casts out all fear and fear is the deadliest enemy of faith.

Many times circumstances were overcome by the Apostles, just as many times they were not. Yet the Apostles discovered true faith in the very midst of their trials and tribulations. The Apostle Paul learned to be content in whatever circumstances he found himself in. It is worth remembering that all of the Apostles and a good many of the early church were eventually tortured and killed, were they abandoned by God? Did they lack faith or a good confession? The truth is that we are not called to live our best lives now enhanced by miracles that elevate us above the rest and prove that God is God. We are called to the battle. God elevates Himself in us in the midst of our infirmities and trials. He is glorified in the saint that is dead to this world and alive to the next.

Regardless of your circumstances today, know that Jesus is in the midst of the storm with you. The fact that you are in a storm does not mean He has abandoned you, in fact quite the opposite. All who live Godly in Christ Jesus will encounter one battle after another as they move along the narrow path of life with their cross that signifies death to the flesh and to this world. If you are trying desperately to live your best life now and require God to move miraculously on your behalf to establish that, you will face a life of disappointment and fear and lack of true faith.

You will have a leanness in your soul and walk in very shallow waters, you will certainly not walk in the overcoming power of Christ. If you would walk in His wisdom and power you must cast yourself into the deepest part of the river of life where you cannot stand upon your own two feet but where you are taken by the current of God to whoever or wherever He chooses. This takes obedience and surrender, this takes actual faith, not the ” faith,” that requires a sign which is no faith at all.”

~ About Madam Guyon by Frank Mceleny

[renee-writer]

He was thinking of him when He took those lashes.

Thousands of years before I’d ever considered having a baby, my sons were on the mind of Jesus as He went to that cross.

He was thinking of her when those nails were driven through His flesh. He took the pain so He wouldn’t have to go eternity without her.

Thousands of years before I’d ever given birth to her, my daughter was on the mind of Jesus as He went to that cross.

He was thinking of them.

The agony.

The lashes that tore open the skin on His back.

The nails that pierced His skin.

The asphyxiation as He struggled to take in each breath as He hung up on that cross.

All of it.

Not done just for me, but for them too.

Jesus hung on that cross, carrying the pain and sin of this world–all for them.

And as a mother who loves her children unconditionally and would do anything to protect them, I know the love He has for them. It’s a love that’s even greater than mine because, well, I can’t say I’d ever willingly endure that kind of torture and pain.

He loves them more than me because He did what I could not do. He willingly and obediently took it on His own shoulders and guarded them with His very life against the power of sin and hell itself.

He did it all for them–for all of us.

He was thinking of them as He went to that cross.

[living-for-jesus-and-telenovelas]

An Example Worth Following Jesus stood there in silence as he was stripped, spit on, beaten, and mocked. He stood there as they twisted thorns into a crown and shoved it onto His head. He watched as they gambled for His clothes. He was rejected, accused, and crucified—and He endured all of this willingly, because of love.  Imagine having unlimited power and authority, and giving it all up. Imagine voluntarily sacrificing your life so that others could also experience God’s deep, unconditional love. This is what Jesus modeled for us.   "You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges… When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.”  Philippians 2:5-8 NLT Jesus knew He belonged to God, and He knew what He was called to do. He knew that selfless service mattered more than selfishness. He knew that humility was greater than pride. And He knew that obeying God would lead to our freedom and His glory.  Jesus modeled humility by laying down His life so that we could know the love of God personally. And if we say that we follow Jesus, then we need to have the same attitude and outlook on life that Jesus did. But we can only do this by staying united in Jesus as we follow His example together.   So, how do we stay united? We show love to each other. And how do we show love to each other? By thinking about other people first, and choosing not to hold onto bitterness. True love requires a willingness to let go of pride, and to serve without expecting anything in return.  “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”  John 15:12-13 ESV So who can you show love to today? Spend a few moments allowing God to reveal how you can practically embrace humility, stay united in love, and serve others selflessly today.

[alligatorpawnshop]

Up in Smoke - Chapter One

word count: 4814

rating: mature

After months of avoiding them following the fall of Vecna, Nancy reconnects with Steve, Eddie, and Robin, and they get absolutely zoinked out of their gourd. Hijinks ensue...mostly the gay kind.

Yes it's a Cheech and Chong song inspired fic title and epigraph. Shut up.

read on ao3

Up in smoke That's where I wanna be 'Cause when I'm high The world below Don't bother me When life begins To be one long And dangerous road I take a toke And all my cares Go up in smoke

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

- 🜁 -

"What's up, Ro–Jesus, is that weed? Holy shit," Steve opened the door to his and Robin's apartment and immediately let out a big (read: dramatic) cough.

Robin and Eddie sat on the floor, huddled around the coffee table. "Hey, Steve-o," The girl said, waving her hand in an oddly stiff way. Her body felt weird. A goofy smile played on her lips. Steve looked funny, his arms all laden with grocery bags, a milk gallon squished in his armpit area. Silly man. "Got us some food?" Man, she was hungry.

"Yeah, what'd you get us, big boy?" Eddie said, setting his nice, black and red bowl down on the table alongside his lighter and his baggie of weed. He looked equally as silly as Steve—actually more so, with his glassy eyes and funny smile. It was nice, seeing Eddie smile. He looked like a big Labrador when he smiled, Robin decided. She laughed at the thought, and Eddie laughed too. Maybe he could read her mind. She wouldn't put it past him.

"Nice to see you, too, Eddie," Steve did not look as amused as the pair giggled. He set the groceries down on the counter (the kitchen was right on the den, no walls separating it from the sitting area) and crossed his arms over his chest. "You can't even bring that shit outside? You have to do it where you're stinking up the whole apartment?"

"Doin' it in luxury, Harrington," said Eddie, picking up his bowl again and the lighter. "Mosquitos are terrible this time of year. Wanna bite?" He held it up to Steve. It took all of Robin's willpower to not try and snatch it from him. It was her first time smoking, and she really liked it. She wanted more.

"I don't smoke," said the other boy, rather pretentiously, if Robin was any judge. "I didn't think you did, either, Robin."

Robin giggled. "Now I do," she said confidently. "This is fun. Better than drinking. Blegh," She stuck her tongue out. "It's like…it's like the Russians, their thing, but you don't wanna puke your guts out. And you're doing it…willingly and stuff," Jeez, was that just her, or was the floor moving in waves under her?

"Are you sure? You're swaying there, dude," Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Oh. Yeah. Food?" Robin steadied herself as Eddie lit the bowl again, lighter flicking. She liked that sound. Flick, flick, flick.

Robin, when she was younger, had always thought doing drugs sounded very stupid. She was a social pariah, sure, but she'd pile stonerdom on top of that. However, a lot had changed in the past year. She had also thought that monsters didn't exist, and that Hawkins didn't have any superheroes, or other dimensions, or Soviets, or…you know, any of that. So maybe Robin Buckley smoking a little bit of weed wasn't the most unexpected thing to happen in the Lord's year of 1986.

Steve rolled his eyes at Eddie as he breathed out a big puff of heady smoke and then threw her a bag of Twizzlers—Robin's favorite snack. If her brain didn't feel like it was slowly turning into the beads inside a Beanie Baby, she'd think about how sweet that was. How close she and Steve had grown over the past almost-a-year, so much so that they moved in together after Robin's house was absolutely wrecked and her parents had to move out of town (there was no way in hell Robin was leaving the only people who shared her experiences of absolute armageddon). She loved that guy.

"I love you, Steve," She said gravely, after absolutely, horribly failing to catch the Twizzlers. They fell on the carpet next to her, wrapper crinkling in a fun-sounding way. Instead of grabbing them like she had meant to, though, Robin went down right after them, face hitting the ground.

"Hey, you good there, Buckley?" Eddie said, pulling her up by the back of her shirt. He handed her the candy. He'd done this a million more times than her, so he wasn't off his ass quite as much as she was. He wisely chose to not pass her the bowl. "Greening?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm good, bud," Robin nodded, re-stabilizing, and attempted to rip open the candy package but failed once more. His fingers were like jelly. At least it was making that fun wrapper noise.

"Oh, Robin," Steve shook his head, all disappointed and mom-like. He put the milk in the fridge, then went and sat on the couch behind Robin, grabbing the package and opening them for her. "Here, weirdo."

"Unkind," The girl pouted, taking the open package and snatching a few of those good, good twists. It took her a little longer than expected to get the candies unstuck from the rest of them, fingers not cooperating with her brain. She passed them to Eddie before getting more for herself and leaned back on Steve's legs, head in his lap.

"Unkind of you to stink up my house," Steve huffed, but she could tell he was at least a little entertained, just by the way his face was as he looked down at her, kneeing her in the back to make her sit up so she wouldn't choke on her spoils. He had such a funny face. If Eddie was a big poodle thing, Steve was like…hm. A weird but cute mutt dog. Yeah. Ha, everyone's a bunch of dogs in her head today. She and Steve should get a dog. A real cute one. She'd never had a pet. Did their apartment allow them? She couldn't remember.

"Apartment," Eddie corrected, blowing more smoke out of his nose like a dragon. Cool. Steve scowled. Those two always seemed to hate each other in the most shallow, see-through-able (was there a better word? Her brain wasn't on) way. Robin thought it was so funny, especially the more she got to know Eddie. They were similar, in weird ways. 

It was fun hanging out with Eddie. He and Robin had known each other, sort of, in high school, but were never really friends. He was older, way older than her in high schooler years, but they were both outcasts, and they knew their kind. Where they were different was how they handled it—Robin accepted her fate and bowed out, sticking to the sidelines, and Eddie sharpened his rejection into a tool to build his own little D&D and drug empires. Despite their lack of any meaningful interaction, she'd always been acutely aware of him for a specific reason. She had heard the rumors of Eddie Munson, the Freak. The Queer . She was never one to believe those kinds of rumors, usually. High schoolers loved calling people names, especially gay ones. But she knew Eddie's handkerchief. She remembered when she was first coming into her own as a lesbian, getting her hands on every piece of queer media she could; every letter, newspaper clipping, article, anything she could find even vaguely mentioning homosexuality in the library of the small town of Hawkins. She remembered finding a pamphlet sandwiched in the pages of a newspaper that was declaring homosexuals horrible dangers to society. It was made for some kind of gay club detailing the hanky code, left by some other queer probably long since fled from their little town. She remembered, a few years later, seeing that black hanky in Eddie's pocket and all her blood seemingly simultaneously draining and rushing to her face.

And so, deep down in her heart, in the pit of her stomach, for years as he stalled at Hawkins High, Robin had always been keenly aware of Eddie Munson, the only other queer she'd ever known. And now, here they were, high as shit on her and Steve's floor, months after defeating an insane otherworldly wizard man that almost destroyed the whole world.

Wow. That was so crazy. Really, if someone had told her a few years ago that she, Robin Buckley, would be smoking weed with Eddie Munson and leaning on her best friend, Steve "The Hair" Harrington, friends with a bunch of kids , who would surely be over later to hang out, one of whom had crazy superpowers…she would have thought they were crazy. Wild stuff.

"You OD?" Steve kneed her again, pushing her forward. She almost slammed straight into the coffee table. She felt like she had lost all parts of her spine except the fluid part. Was brain fluid a thing? She probably had that, too.

"Nah, I'm good," Robin said, uncharacteristically quiet. This being high thing was crazy. Her brain was moving slower than it ever had before. It was kind of nice. It was cool to be able to think about the past without getting horrible flashbacks. Without shaking, without crying. She hadn't been able to do that in a hot second. "Steve, Steve, listen to me," She turned around, hands on each of her friend's kneecaps, chin on her hands. She had to tell him. "You have got to try this shit, Steve. It makes your brain, like, normal. You know?"

Eddie choked out a good laugh around a Twizzler hanging from his mouth. "Poor Buckley, you're gone."

"I love you, but your brain seems to be the furthest thing from normal right now," Steve said, pushing her head back and failing to hide a fond grin. "You need to sober up before giving me any advice."

Robin looked at both of them, a confused frown gracing her lips. She wasn't that out of it. Just kept getting caught up in her thoughts, that was all. It was rare that she could think like this nowadays. "I'm fine, guys," She said, trying to exude seriousness. Before they could protest, there was a knock at the door.

"Oh?" Eddie said, raising his eyebrows. "A visitor? At this late hour?" It was only around 5, last Robin had checked. Silly Eddie.

"I'll get it!" Robin offered immediately, excited at the idea of a guest (Maybe it's one of the kids! She loved those guys), and stood up to open their door. She immediately felt her head go straight to space, orbit around the sun at least once with the rest of the planets, and wobbled on her feet. She fell onto the couch—she would have fallen on the floor if Steve didn't grab her and pull her back. 

Eddie laughed, and Robin laughed too. It was the kind of laugh where it bubbled up from her stomach, causing her to roll up and lean back into the couch. Eddie rocked back, tears tinging the corners of his eyes, and Robin fell over on the couch. Steve scoffed. "Coming!" He shouted to the door, then wheeled around to glare at the other two. "Jesus, guys, someone's over and it smells like ass in here—just hide that shit, okay?" He motioned rather exasperatedly to the bounty laid out on the coffee table.

"Ew, coming, gross," Eddie gave Steve a look of mock disgust, which Steve returned with the true version. "Fine, fine, don't get your panties in a bunch," He said under his withering glare and put the bowl beneath the couch. He placed the lighter and weed in his backpack, and Robin hid the Twizzlers with the bowl, just in case.

"Does Steve always have such a stick up his ass?" Eddie leaned toward Robin, who was now sprawled across the couch instead of sitting, and cocked an eyebrow.

"It comes and goes," Robin grinned. She knew he knew the answer already—after their return from the Upside Down, when he nearly died by demobat, he'd been spending a lot more time with the party, especially the older members. They'd grown close and he was over at their apartment all the time now. There wasn't much else for the poor guy to do—they were pretty much the only people who didn't hate him, so it was a safety thing for him to stick around them as well. He'd been absolved of his murder charges after the government cleared him with a skewed trial and a ton of NDA shit, but there wasn't much that could convince the town that he hadn't killed those kids…and hadn't caused the earthquake with some demon magic.

Oh, if only they knew the real demon magic going on.

Steve grabbed some air spray (poor ozone layer) and doused the room in it before going to the door, mouthing Act normal to the pair. He peered through the peephole, a look of surprise appearing on his face before flattening back to normal. He opened the door, a shiny fake smile on display. "Nancy!"

Robin and Eddie looked at each other in disbelief. That disbelief just barely overcame the laugh that was fighting to be let free upon seeing that guy's red, red eyes again. We're fucked, she mouthed, and he nodded virgorously. Why on earth was Nancy Wheeler here, as Eddie would say, at this hour?

Following the defeat of Vecna during their raid, their concert , as Eddie liked to say, Nancy had practically fallen off the face of the earth. Which kind of sucked, since the other girl had started to grow on her. But Robin wasn't going to chase her down—they weren't that good of friends yet, and she had no clue how to even do that without seeming like a weirdo. A crazy stalker or something. A weirdo dyke.

So, it had been a few weeks since any of them had seen Nancy. With school canceled for the rest of the year to be used as a trauma center for the earthquake, and graduation postponed to somewhere in the middle of the summer, there was no circumstance to. Mike had said that she was in her room a lot, or with Jonathan, who had moved back in with his family a while ago.

"Hey, Steve," came Nancy's voice, that soft but sharp tone she always had piercing the haze of smoke and aerosol like a butter knife. Robin perked up. She sounded weird. Kind of sad, maybe?

Steve moved to let Nancy in, and Robin got a look at her. She was wearing a pink skirt and a white frilly top, all covered by a denim jacket, her equally pink lips pressed in a tight line that she tried to make a smile. Her perm was perm-y as ever. She looked funny, as did everyone right now. If Robin could assign her a dog, it would be a toy poodle or some kind of spaniel. Like Lady from Lady and the Tramp .

"This is a nice apartment–" Nancy scrunched up her nose as she stepped through the threshold, eyes falling on Eddie and Robin strewed around the sitting area. "Is that dope?" The weight had gone from her voice, replaced by confusion.

"Nope," Robin said, shaking her head convincingly. Acting normal, that's what she was doing.

"Nuh-uh," Eddie agreed, furrowing his brows and causing his hair to whirlwind around him with the ferocity of his disapproving nod. They were so good at this.

Nancy raised an eyebrow. "I know that smell, no matter how much air freshener you put over it," She remarked with a smirk. Of course she knew, with what Robin had heard about Jonathan's adventures in California. Busted.

Eddie held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, Harrington, the jig's up," He said, leaning back with a little bit of a smile. Steve shook his head at him from behind Nancy, locking the door once more.

"Robin, are you high, too?" Nancy looked at her, blue eyes always so piercing. Like she was reading her like a paper, or a line of code, or something else people analyze really closely. She thought back to their adventure in the library, feeling like one of its books. She shifted around in her seat, uncomfortable, and fidgeted with the hem of her shorts.

"Hey, what's with all the interrogating? Strutting into their place and immediately demanding answers," Eddie butted in, saving Robin's life. She hated feeling like she was being read, and for once, being high was not helping soothe her mind. It was probably why she was feeling this way, she realized numbly. She could feel Nancy's eyes running over every line of text in her head. She definitely could not form a sentence, not even a word, with Nancy looking at her like that.

"It was just a question," Nancy shrugged, her watchtower eyes mercifully flitting to Eddie. Phew, Robin could breathe again.

"Here's a question: why are you here, Wheeler?" countered Eddie a bit rudely. He leaned forward again, resting his elbow on the coffee table and his chin on his hand. He flashed a sweet smile to soften his last comment. "It's been a while."

Nancy paused. "Yes, it has been a while," She echoed, looking between Eddie and Steve as the latter moved to sit on the couch, moving Robin's legs out of the way. They flopped to the ground, dead weight. Thump . "I…I don't know, I haven't seen you guys in a minute. I figured I should stop by and see how you were doing. See the apartment, and stuff," Oh, right, she'd never seen the apartment. Robin and Steve had moved soon after the earthquake. Nancy had already disappeared by that point.

"Uh-huh," Eddie said doubtfully. Robin knew he thought that Nancy still believed she was better than him—she had thought similarly of the girl for a long while. Years, actually, following Barb's departure to become her best friend instead. She had only recently shaken that idea after lying their way into a crazy hospital-prison and killing an evil demon wizard with her.

"We're just chilling out," Steve said, resting his arms on the back of the sofa. Robin leaned on him, her head sort of on his armpit/shoulder area. He was comfy. "Have been, since, you know…" He swirled his hand in the air.

"Yeah," Nancy said, a little awkwardly now that she was the only one standing. A lone lighthouse, her gaze a big beam of light swooping between the three sitting. "I…I've been busy, you know, writing about all of the earthquake stuff. Sorry I haven't been around a lot."

"No worries," Steve shrugged, moving Robin's head a little. She felt those eyes turn to her again and mustered up the bravery to meet them. Nancy was looking between her and Steve, an odd expression on her face. "Wanna hang for a little?" He asked, dodging an incredulous look from Eddie. Robin didn't blame him. This was painful, even with the weed filling up her mind like stuffing.

Nancy nodded and moved to sit on the worn red armchair next to the couch, curls bouncing in a way Robin found fascinating. It was weird, seeing Nancy this out of her depth among people who she'd walked with through literal hell—or really seeing her out of her depth at all. She felt kind of bad. Nancy had probably avoided them on purpose. Before it all went down, she used to drop by Family Video sometimes to pick up a movie, but after, she never returned. While Robin, Steve, Eddie, and the kids found themselves seeking out each other to cope, taking comfort in the fact that they—the only ones who knew what hell was like—were still there, still together, Nancy had withdrawn, vanishing for months except an occasional visit to Max in the hospital, usually when no one else was there.

It wasn't like they'd sought her out, either. Guilt prickled at the back of Robin's partially numb neck. She should probably say something. "Uh, how's it been, Wheeler?" She asked, forcing her insanely dry throat to work. "How's, uh, the reporting, and stuff been?"

Nancy looked at Robin, seeming appreciative. "It's been…something. I mean, I'm sure you've seen how they've been trying to fill the rifts the gates made. With school getting shut down, and so many houses destroyed, it's all just…a lot. And no one knows what it really was. They just think it was a 7.4-magnitude earthquake. That's the biggest earthquake to ever happen in Indiana, so a lot of seismologists have been here to study it. The last one was in ‘68, and that was only 5.4–"

"That's two more magnitudes," Steve nodded wisely. 

Robin snorted. "Quite a few."

Nancy gave them that weird look again, but Robin avoided her magnetic eye contact, instead looking at Eddie. The other boy had leaned over and reached under the couch, retrieving his bowl. A pleading look from Robin got him to fetch her Twizzlers as well out of pure laziness on her part. 

"Seriously, dude?" Steve sighed.

"She already knows, what's the deal?" Eddie shrugged, packing it. "Want some, Buckley?" "I think Robin's cut off for now," Steve said, giving up on trying to stop him. "I mean, look at her. Blasted," He waved his hand in front of her face. 

Robin tried to swat his hand away, but missed, her hand landing on his arm. "Shut up, I'm fine. Do I really look that bad?"

Eddie laughed his friendly, loud laugh, and Steve chuckled and shook his head. Even Nancy smiled a little, raising an elegant eyebrow. "Hey, stop laughing!" Robin pouted, squeezing Steve's arm. "You guys suck."

Laughing at Robin seemed to lighten the tense air a little bit. Nancy, bemused, reached into the little purse she had been carrying and retrieved a small, pink disc. She leaned over and handed it to Steve, who handed it to Robin. She stared at it dumbly. "What is this?"

"Open it, idiot," Steve took the foreign object from her and pried it open, revealing a mirror. Woah. The magic of modern science.

"Oh," Robin took the compact from him, holding it up to her face to get a good look at herself. Her blue eyes were red and glassy, her cheeks all flushed. She pressed a hand to the side of her face. "Oh."

"Ha, yeah," Eddie laughed, lighting the bowl again and taking a hissing hit. "That's what it does to you, Buckley. Totally worth it, though," He said, breathing out a thick puff.

"Yeah," Robin kept moving the mirror, looking at herself. God, how embarrassing! Of course Nancy showed up, after a nearly two months' absence, to her stoned out of her mind and looking like a crazy person. She prickled, ashamed.

Nancy chuckled. "You guys have been having fun, huh?" She said. That sad tone came back to her voice, barely detectable, but Robin's expert (stoned) ears rooted it out.

"Oh, no, no, no," Robin shook her head, furrowing her brows and waving her free hand. "First time doing this," She had just earned Nancy's…respect? When they went to the Upside Down, and now, having not seen her since then, she was in their apartment, watching her be high as shit for the first time ever. "First time."

"Okay," Nancy hummed. She seemed to be relaxing a little bit. "I did mean it, though. This is a nice place, despite the smell," She chuckled a little bit, and Steve directed a pointed look at Robin and Eddie. Mostly Eddie.

"Thanks, Nance," Steve said. "We try."

On their Family Video budgets, it had taken some time to really decorate the apartment. It was still pretty bare—an old blue couch, a worn red armchair, a coffee table, a TV, a toaster for the kitchen. A fun rug Robin found at the thrift store. Everything was kind of old, all second-hand (Except for the toaster: that was brand new and Steve's pride and joy), but it was good enough for both of them and the kids. It was home.

"Wish you coulda been here to help them move," Eddie lamented, taking a long hit. "Getting that couch up the stairs was harder than the whole Upside Down deal."

"You just like to complain," Robin could practically feel Steve roll his eyes. "It only took, like, thirty minutes."

"Yeah, for one flight of stairs!" Smoke poured out of Eddie's mouth as he spoke, getting that wicked smile that was practically reserved for moments where he annoyed Steve. Robin watched the smoke wind and curl up to the ceiling, its movements slow and hypnotizing. Maybe they should open a window.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," Nancy said, her serious tone contrasting the boys'. "It's been a lot. It was easier to work, you know, focus on the earthquake, than think about everything that really happened," Her pretty blue eyes were round, apologetic.

"It's fine," Steve waved his hand. "Everyone deals with it differently, Nance," It was very similar to what he'd said to Lucas a few weeks ago when he and Robin went to visit Max. Lucas had barely left her side since the raid. He had shut everyone out except her…it was painful to watch. Steve had managed to convince him to spend at least one day with the party a week, just to get a break, after much deliberation.

"You're so good," Robin said, hoping that sounded supportive. She was very aware now that she was not properly functioning, but she was trying. She wanted to soothe Nancy's fears; it weighed her body down like an anchor to think that the other girl had been suffering from such guilt on top of the beaucoup trauma they'd all garnered. 

It was Eddie's turn to roll his eyes. "Whatever, Wheeler," he said, eyes narrowing. "Wanna smoke?" He held the bowl out sloppily, a sharp joke at her expense. God, Eddie could be so insensitive sometimes. Robin wanted to cuff him for that, but she was unsure her impaired balance would allow her to, so she refrained.

"Sure," shrugged Nancy. Everyone in the room's eyebrows shot through their hairlines as she reached forward and took the bowl in her thin, scarred hands and expertly lit it, tapping her thumb against the carb and inhaling smoothly.  

Robin watched Nancy take a hit, her eyes glued to the other girl. She inhaled and then blew the smoke out in a thin stream that slowly expanded into a swirling cloud. She was far more elegant than Robin, who had spluttered and coughed through the whole process.

"You smoked before?" Eddie asked, genuine surprise overtaking his condescension, dark brows raised.

"A few times," Nancy said nonchalantly, almost sheepish. She fiddled with the pipe. Her fingers analyzing every crevice of the blown glass as her gaze flitted inbetween the others.

"Oh, yeah, Jonathan's a major stoner now, isn't he?" Steve asked. Robin gave him a gentle slap on the arm. Don't be rude, Steve . 

Nancy shifted a bit in her seat at the mention of her boyfriend. "Yeah. We smoked together a couple times," She said before taking another, larger hit. She was mesmerizing to watch, the way the smoke dripped from her rosy lips to curl into gorgeous slithering plumes with her soft exhale.

"That's cool," Robin remarked intelligently. She tore her eyes away from the other girl's mouth, feeling guilty.

Eddie nodded in agreement, silent, for once. It seemed Nancy had possibly won his forgiveness, or at least understanding, for going no-contact. Or he was just very high.

"Well, if you all are smoking, I'm getting a beer," Steve said decisively, gently pushing Robin off of him so that he could stand up. As he walked to the kitchen, Eddie hummed his disapproval.

"Hey, before you drink, Harrington, wanna run grab us some pizza? We can make a night of this," He gestured to all of them, grinning his lopsided grin. "A reunion feast."

"I just went to the grocery store," Steve motioned to the grocery bags still laying out on the counter, exasperated.

"Yeah, but that's not fun food, Stevie," Eddie stood, using the coffee table to support his ascension. He teetered for a moment, then steadied. "Come on, I'll go with."

"I could go for some pizza," Robin shrugged, and Nancy nodded in agreement. The other girl was catching up quickly to the other two on hit count. If only Eddie felt the desire to berate her dope-hogging, because Robin sure didn't.

"Three to one," Eddie said triumphantly, walking over to link arms with the other boy, who stiffened. "You're driving."

Steve shot Robin a look of betrayal as she allowed Eddie to drag him out the door. "Have fun, you two," She said as the door shut.

Now it was just her and Nancy.

[gatekeeper-watchman]

Daily Devotionals for February 1, 2023

Proverbs: God's Wisdom for Daily Living Devotional Scripture: Proverbs 4:20-22(KJV): 20 My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. 21 Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them amid thine heart. 22 For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.

Thought for the Day

Verse 20 - "Attend to my words" simply means to pay attention to my words. We can hear the Word of God with our physical ears without paying attention to it. "Incline thine ear" (verse 20) means to listen with our "spiritual ears" or "ears of our hearts." Many times after speaking to a multitude, Jesus is recorded as saying, "He that hath ears to hear, let him hear" (for example, Mark 4:2-9). He knew that no one can hear what the Spirit is saying unless we have a proper heart attitude; willing to hear Him. That is why those who do not know Jesus cannot understand the Bible. They may agree it is a book of history or literature, but cannot spiritually understand it until they are converted.

To be converted, we must come to God in humility, accepting that we are sinners who are separated from Him. We must turn from sin and give our lives to Jesus. Until we acknowledge our sins and ask forgiveness for the cause of our guilt, we will never be free from it. It will eventually lead us right into hell. It is not God's will that any should perish, "but that all should come to repentance" (2 Peter 3:9).

Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was nailed to the cross by ungodly men for no sin of His own. He was innocent of wrong - the only Man who was perfect and sinless. He willingly took our sins by accepting a death that He did not deserve. He was raised from the dead by His Father and given life and authority over the powers of darkness. God now imparts that same life and authority to all who will come to Him and receive His provision for their sin, for "…the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin" (1 John 1:7).

Verse 21 - We should not only read God's Word diligently but hide it in our hearts. If we desire to grow in faith and wisdom and be pleasing to God, we must apply His Word to everything in life.

Verse 22 - If we apply His Word, we will experience true life. Life is not just a spiritual encounter, although spiritual rebirth is a glorious experience. By applying God's Word, we can also have physical health. The Lord wants to make us whole in spirit, soul, and body! Prayer Devotional for the Day Dear heavenly Father, I am so glad that You gave up Your son, Jesus, so that I could know You and be saved from hell. I do not understand why You did it, but I am very grateful for the gift of eternal life. I rejoice that my name is written in the "Book of Life." Lord, I need to read and study Your Word more. Help me give up the things that are robbing me of the time I need to be spending with You. I know if I put prayer and Bible study first, then You will make a way for me to take care of all my pressing responsibilities. Things just go better when I take the time to spend with You. I also thank you for the health of my body. I am grateful You are not only my savior but my healer as well. I ask for strength and health today so that I might serve You and those around me. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.

From: Steven P. Miller Founder of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups Jacksonville, Florida., Duval County, USA. https://www.facebook.com/groups/Sparkermiller.JAX.FL.USA https://www.tumblr.com/blog/gatekeeper-watchman https://www.facebook.com/ParkermillerQ/ Twitter: @GatekeeperWatchman1, @ParkermillerQ, @StevenPMiller6; #GWIG, #GWIN, #GWINGO, #Ephraim1, #IAM, #Sparkermiller, #Eldermiller1981

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