#Everytime I make myself some time to draw every idea I have/had seems no fun anymore :c

[kyuhu]

Ment to draw something spooky for today but I don't think it'll still happen so I'll just share the brainless doodles I did while thinking about what to draw

Also zoom in on gremlin looking piano Feliks because he made me laugh and is my fav here

[unlocktxt]

hi 😄 i saw your reblog and i want to ask the same thing: what was your first impression of your moots?

First i want to say that I may of gotten a littleeeee carried away. I wanted to include as many people as possible, but some I don’t have enough to say. Despite this I might add more. I’ve met so many various people on this app and I’ve loved interacting with them all or just seeing them around. So much so that I can’t list everybody. I really love all my moots and there are so many of them that I’ll forever be grateful for. (yes i added a keep reading because this was so long and please excuse my gramtical errors)

@hoes4hoseok - our first impression was playing among us WHICH WAS SO FUN. I don’t remember much about talking to her in the game BUT I do remember that she was the first one to ever make the group chat filled with those who played with us. honestly I’m so grateful that she did that because I wouldn’t have been able to become friends with her and many others. I remember thinking that she was beyond kind and that she was good with trying to include everyone. After that I just remember hearing her voice and then DYING because she has a wonderful voice. I felt as though I related to you just a bit. Now I’ve gotten to see different aspects of her and really value her as a person and friend. She keeps things real and is so helpful. Sometimes I wish I could see what goes on inside her head because sometimes I think she reserves herself or overthinks and I’d like to give her a big hug.

@binniebutter - amie... oh amie 🙄 just kidding 😂 amie well... I also met her while playing among us in that same group. we played a lot with each other and I find that nice BECAUSE I CANT REMEMBER WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT DURING THE FIRST TIME WE PLAYED. I think I do remember laughing about her and gen tho. In our first gc I remember thinking that she had a bright personality and could keep the conversation going. I also find out we live about an hour away so I was able to connect with her about that (I also was so excited just because IVE NEVER MET AN ONLINE FRIEND IN THE SAME STATE) After that we played among us a lot together and I just remember thinking amie was EVIL. She was funny though and I felt comfortable around her. Now... I honestly think I’m pretty close to amie emotionally. It’s very rare that I put down my guard and talk to someone about certain things (I don’t really think I’ve talked to her about certain things tho) I still feel as though I can talk to her or that I can cry or rant to her without feeling judged. I don’t know how much she’s come to me about, but anytime I try to comfort her i feel like I get to know her better. I usually don’t start joking with my friends and being “rude” to them unless I know that they know I love them, which is why I’m starting to show amie sarcasm at times ☺️ I may of written too much 😅

@hyukaite I ACTUALLY REMEMBER MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF KAT. oml we’d send asks every now and then and I remember thinking she was a crack head. From the videos I’d see her post to that one drawing. Man if only I could go all the way back to it, but it was monthssss ago. I also remember relating to her about having to help our sisters with math 💀. I wanted to be her friend after seeing her interact with some of my other moots, but I was too shy to actually message her so I stuck with sending in asks every now and then 😂 then we started playing among us together. I remember thinking “NOOOO SHE STOLE YELLOW” which led to me falling in love with the dark green among us color JFKAJFLW. After that I remember getting betrayed by her in the game SO MANY TIMES. she killed me during the Simon says task... to tell you what grudge I hold... I still remember it. ITS SUCH A HARD TASK AND SHE DIDNT LET ME FINISH IT. She also killed me in electrical when I thought she was INNOCENT. Now... kat I don’t even know how to describe her. She has many aspects to her that I love. She also is able to help me think straight whenever I let my anger get to me.

@yawnjunie - I thought she was shy at first because when I first met her she didn’t talk much, so I felt bad because I thought she didn’t feel all that welcomed by us (no specific reason we were just introduced to blu so abruptly 😂) After that I think I was intimidated by her at first JFJAKFJERI. We also compared our schools and our grade mindset which I think really opened my eyes a little bit more. I still believe she’s really smart Zknfaltn. She makes me laugh though and she also started the network moacabinet. She’s really sweet with so many ideas, but I feel bad because sometimes I think she gets stressed easily. She’s not on much, but everytime she’s online I’m blessed with her presence.

@kkuming - gigiiiii! my first impression of gigi was fairly simple. We met on the au group chat and she seemed really sweet. I wanted to try and give gigi a warm welcome and make sure she felt comfortable. I wish I remembered more about our first meeting. I DO HOWEVER remember thinking she was v v innocent. I sat back and watched gigi get thrown into the group and laughed my ass off at how she interacted with kat. I was worried that because the others were already so comfortable with her and joking around about things that she may actually think that the “divorce” or whatever it was that kat and her had would make her upset, so I wanted to remind her that I appreciated her Zofnakfjeof. She also was taking a lot of stressful classes so I could only hope this girl didn’t die underneath all that stress. Now I- she’s crazy guys. Just kidding 😂 she’s still really sweet and jokes around with all of us. I’m glad she’s online a lot more now. she’s also really funny.

@lipbeom - I’m like 99.9% sure rynn was the first person I ever really talked to on tumblr. I thought she was a really good writer and saw that she was a senior as well, so I was glad that I wasn’t the only one on tumblr that was going to suffer through the last year of school. I was so glad when she messaged me first like Y’ALL HAVE NO IDEA. When I first met her I remember thinking she was really sweet AND BEYOND SMART. I’m really grateful for rynn and I actually miss her a lot because I feel like I don’t interact with her as much as I should. She was very supportive and still is. It’s only been a few months since I first talked with her but I’m reminiscing 😂 She also got me hooked on selling sunset WHICH WAS AMAZING but I was talking like the girls on the show for WEEKSSSSSSS.

@bbhyeoliskooks - I don’t really remember how I came across her, but I realized she was a new moa writer and wanted to check her out. My first impression... hmmm I guess you could say that I believed she was very grateful even when she didn’t have to be. Sometimes she makes me feel old 💀 but she’s reminds me a little bit of my sister... just way sweeter. She’s very loyal and anytime you tell her you’ve posted something oml she’s wonderful. She’s the type of person who is really supportive and I appreciate that, but sometimes I feel like I don’t give her enough of ittttt. I really need to go stalk her blog now as for some reason I don’t see her notifs half the time. I’m really proud of her and think she’s one of the sweetest people on tumblr NOT TO MENTION SHE SINGS BEAUTIFULLY.

@txthearteu - oml cj 😂 she is also one of the first people I talked to on tumblr. I don’t really remember our first impression tho :/. I DO REMEMBER I READ ONE OF HER STORIES THO and i sent an ask about it because she deserved the recognition for it. Hmmm at first I believe I was intimidated because she is older than me 😂 however she was so extremely sweet and I loved talking to her. I tried talking about various different things with her because I wanted our conversation to continue hehe. She stays feeding me 😌 and even if I can’t physically eat del taco I get full off of the love and support cj gives me. My eyes light up when I see her in my notifs. I think she deserves the world and I always want to be there for her. I don’t think I can ever repay her for the love she’s given me.

@sung4oon - SAM I SWEAR IF YOU CHANGE UR URL BEFORE I HAVE A CHANCE TO POST THIS! I met her when her url was... 👁👄👁 lixxie sumtin. I think it was lixieebear. I truly don’t remember her first impression 💀 the only thing I remember was thinking that she was also a crack head. She was really funny and sweet and DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE WHOLE BRAINCELL THING. I should’ve given her my brain cells for christmas. I still think she’s really fun to talk to and I literally try to remind myself as much as possible that I need to go stop by and send an ask every now and then. Even so she still says hi to me ☺️

@beomiebear5 - R A I N A. hehehehehehe I actually love this first impression for me. At the time I saw her anon asks to rynn. I saw that she was going to start posting stuff on her blog soon and she gave a hint about how to find her. Ofc I let rynn do that herself BUT I went searching KFJSIFIWFKW I couldn’t help it I saw it as a challenge. My first impression was rlly just that she was sweet. Then after a while KFJAOFJWOF I really love interacting with her and seeing her rants. Gosh she’s so funny and ✨inspires✨ me. I’m always down to talk to her because she’s amazing and sweet.

@magicisland9-34 - lillie ☺️ I honestly don’t remember our first impression? I do however remember when she first sent an ask! I would always get so excited when I got an ask from her 😂 I loved talking to her and she let me ramble on and on. Whether that be about gymnastics or ballet. Once again even lillie is sweet, but she’s betrayed me for siding with amie about Christmas 😤. She’s also one of the people that I try to remind myself to go and visit their blog and see what they’ve posted.

@spookybias - if I remember correctly gen was the first one who reblogged my about me post, which ended up allowing others on this app to see that I was a new writing blog. She was also one of the first people I followed and one of the first who followed me, so I was really grateful and thought she was beyond helpful and nice. I also really believe she’s a great writer and i admired how she would tell things how they are. She’s always been sweet to me even if she’s threatened to shoot me a while back 😤. OH YEAH we also played among us together in that group as well and I always suspected her at one point. IT WAS BECAUSE THE ONE TIME I TRUSTED HER SHE KILLED ME.

@bffsoobin - My first impression of Sara was pretty simple like I found her blog and fell in love. she writes so well and I’ve loved everything I’ve read from her. I thought she was really pretty and pretty funny too. When she’d talk about some of her stories revolving school it honestly made my day as well. I admire her especially because she’s such a good writer and LET ME TELL YOU when she followed me back I think I did a little cheer. I was reading her fics before I even started writing on tumblr.

@soobcxre - I saw Sara around because we had a lot of moots in common and when I saw them interact I would just think about how I wanted to befriend her 😂. When she texted me I got so excited, but I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN SCHOOL TOO. She’s also really sweet ajfjwkfjw and I’m glad to have met her.

@lovesickchoi - MADDIE 🤩 I.... I don’t remember my first impression of her 🥲. It may of revolved around asks? I think I ended up trying to get to know her more at the time I was trying to get to know yoonie. I say this because I remember always seeming to get their urls mixed up... I think it’s because the h at the beginning. I LITERALLY DONT REMEMBER HOW WE STARTED INTERACTING. She’s also an amazing writer tho! Now I still think she’s sweet and we’ve talked about yeonbin together 😂.

@sunoo-luvs - 🥺 zaara JFJAJRKSKF literally my first impression was “cute.” That still stands btw. She’s absolutely the sweetest and is really considerate of others IM SCARED BECAUSE SHE MAY APOLOGIZE FOR THINGS THERES NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR. Even so she can easily add happiness to people’s day with just a hi and a hug.

@i2gyu - I- first impression: scary. IM KIDDING wait... actually even though that was a joke because she used to stop by and say “boo” I MAY OF ACTUALLY FELT INTIMIDATED BY HER AT FIRST. I think one of the first times we interacted was about a network and at the time I was ready to join a network SO I FELT SO BAD FOR SAYING NO. Afterwards tho I realized how nice she was and I always end up getting a little energetic once I see she’s sent in an ask. One day I’m scared I won’t see her change her url or blog, but that’s if she does again.

@fairycore-gyu - I haven’t interacted with anyone new recently and when I saw kira that obviously changed 😂. I related to her with music taste and stuff. LET ME TELL YOU when someone seems to have the same music taste I JUST my eyes light up. She was really welcoming and I instantly felt like I could message her anytime. I also just realized she’s a pisces 🥺.

@yoonjunie - I just remember thinking ooooo new moa writer! I think anyone who comes across her can say she’s very welcoming and sweet + she deserves everything she has. I really just wanted to support her 😂 I need to interact with her more and read more from her blog.

@hyeyoonwrites - yoonie 🥺 AHHHH okay 😂 first impression: LITERALLY THE SWEETEST. I know I’ve said that so many people here are sweet but yoonie is a different kind of sweet. I don’t know every single time I’ve interacted with her has felt like a soft hug. She’s supported me a lot and I really need to check up on her more frequently I feel guilty about it aifoshf.

@txtextme - gon I- even though we haven’t talked much she’s extremely funny and relatable. she just has this vibe that I love about her. I know I don’t have much to say, but I had to add her because she’s left an impact.

@yeonbins - VIVI HAS WONDERFUL GIFS. Every now and then I’ll see her post some stuff just talking and akfjskf. I mainly remember (I think) Starbucks getting her name wrong. Her names so pretty tho. I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH OLDER SHE WAS THAN ME. I also played among us with her for a lil... I was scared she was gonna murder me 😂.

[franeridart]

Anon said: Not an ask, but I frickin love your art style! 👌

Ah heck, thank you so much!!!! <3

Anon said: I refuse to use Emojis but You. Do. Not. Need. To. Apologize. For. Taking. Breaks! We are not entitled to you and you are not required to provide art for us! These are stressful times, and even outside of these times, taking breaks from social medias is completely acceptable.

Thank you for the kind feeling!!! But it’s fine, I’m not beating myself up over it or anything, just apologizing for my habit of going on breaks without letting anyone know beforehand haha

Anon said: your outfit ideas are amazing ! do you have a source of insperation?

Thank you!!! I do a lot of people watching, and that’s about it tbh! I do look at fashion photos and magazines and, like, clothes displays in stores? when I happen across them, but most of my inspo when it comes to outfits starts from me watching people and liking how they’re dressed - in that sense I like watching vlogs and stuff like that too, people these days are so stylish...

Anon said: I really love your lineart and coloring style!! Would you mind sharing your brush settings? Or some art tips? If you don't want too this okay too, keep up the good work !!

Since my brush settings are a reward for my $6+ patreons, I don’t really feel like it’d be fair to share them! But you can probably find some old version of them in my art tips tag :D as for art tips... for lineart the only thing I can really say is to not overthink it and just go with the flow, whatever feels comfortable for you will make for the most visually pleasing lineart too, in my experience! Coloring is something I’m constantly experimenting with as well, but there too my usual mindset is “the easier and faster the better” - generally, I just use flats and then add shadows on them with any color that goes from light blue to pink-ish purple on a layer set on multiply, anything that makes it look fancier than that is just me adding small details like sparkles or shines or anything of the like!

Anon said: GUESS. WHOS. GETTING. OLD!!! me. It’s me.

Everyone is! Constantly! It’s how the passing of times works, terribly enough

Anon said: hi!!! as someone who really admires you as an artist, has very little experience in art and would /really/ like to get better at it, i'd like to ask you: how did you get so good at it? (apart from constant practice, of course, i realize how important that is!) this is coming from someone who really has no idea where to start! what was your starting point, and are there any tips you can give a complete beginner like me?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm the thing is that drawing a lot really is all there is to it, but if I had to give one single serious tip for this it would be to find something you really really really really enjoy drawing and to just draw it - draw it badly if that’s the only way you know how to draw it, but make sure to always draw it while having fun, and slowly you’ll get better without even realizing you are. If you like a ship, draw that ship! If you like plants, draw plants! If you like animals, draw animals! It’s okay if you don’t know how to draw it, or if you feel like your skills aren’t good enough for what you mean to draw, because honestly I felt like that when I started too, and I still feel like that every time I pick up my pen, and I’m sure I’ll forever feel like that for as long as I’ll draw - my ideas will always be bigger than my skills, and maybe so will yours! So what’s it matter if you start drawing stuff beyond your skill level now or later? At least you’ll be having fun with it, and the only way to learn how to do something new is to go and do it, anyway

Anon said: hi! do you do commissions?

I don’t, sorry! Thank you for being interested, though!

Anon said: Hi there! So I'm rereading Quote Love Unquote (a classic for sure) and had the urge to go find the art you had made for it. And oops, like, two hours have gone by of me just scrolling through all of your older comics and art. I love it all SO MUCH. Your artstyle is just so damn enjoyable and all of your comics never fail to make me smile. I'm always looking forward to whatever you choose to make in the future regardless of fandom. Thank you for being awesome!!

God that’s such a nice thing to hear, thank you so much!!!!!! ( TT-TT)<3

Anon said: I made an ask before (u answered it dw) but u thought I was saying u missed my first one. U didnt! I was saying it made me so happy that u responded you’re an angel! Ily v much!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that’s good then!! that’s very very good!!!!!! ily too!!!! <3<3

Anon said: How can one's art be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good?

Thank youuuuuuuu ;;;;;;;;;; I do!!! my best!! ( ;u;)9

Anon said: You like tododeku?

Yup!

Anon said: Zero grafity kisses are the opposite of the spiderman kiss

How so? :O

Anon said: Hi! This is seriously out of nowhere but I wanted to tell you I reread your Bokuto-Kuroo-Terushima tattoo au strip all the time because it's just so delightful and seriously cute. Polyfidelity is the kind of poly my partner and I practice and I don't see it played out too much, so to see a relationship like that with characters I love and an art style I adore fills me with such warm fuzzies. It's so so lovely. Have a great day!

I’m so damn glad to hear that!!!! In that sense that comic still means a lot to me, so I’m happy to hear it means something to you too!!

Anon said: Friendly reminder that I fucking love you.

I love you too anon!!!!!!!!!

Anon said: Ma lo sai che sei sempre più brava?

aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! (TTATT) grazie mille!!!!!!!!!

Anon said: Hi um did you know that 🤰🏻🤱🏻 this lady had her kid?????? wtf i didnt know

I can’t even see the emojis from desktop lmao but good for her!!! 

Anon said: hot take: jirou, momo, kami, and shinsou in a poly relationship.

You know what anon, you’re incredibly valid and I respect you

Anon said: I just absolutely love your art! Whenever I see it, it makes my day! Your Kiribaku stuff gives me life! Keep making beautiful art, and stay safe during this time!

Gosh, thank you!! You stay safe too, anon!!!!

Anon said: HOW do you draw cloths

You keep in mind that gravity is a thing and let your hand do kind of whatever while hoping no one will notice you have no clue what you’re doing!! (...seriously tho I never studied these things I just do whatever feels like and hope for the best hahaha any experienced artist looking at my stuff is probably wondering what the heck it is that I’m trying to do...)

Anon said: Your style is so amazing and distinctive. Everytime I see it I’m like OH ITS THEMMMM and get super stoked

That’s so cool to hear!!!!!!! I genuinely have no clue what makes my art mine, but I like knowing people can recognize it anyway! It’s such a neat thing!!!

Anon said: Were you the person who did those "stopping an angry...." posts? Am I remembering this wrong? If that was you, where could I find those?

Are you talking about my bakuboys comic? If so then it’s in my bakuboys tag! :D

Anon said: Hey, you’ve seemed kind of tired and sad lately. I’m not going to ask you if you’re okay because you’re probably not, but I wanted to say I really do hope you feel better soon!

!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much ;;;; I’m doing my best!

[aprils-arcadia]

A Weekend in Rome

Pairing: Kihyun x Reader Genre: Fluff Word Count: 2,2k Summary: Your business trip to Rome turned out completely different from what you’d imagined, as your attractive co-worker decided to accopany you. 

You never really like rules. It was easier to not restrict yourself, in the end you would just be disappointed with yourself for not being able to follow them. So you only had one thing that could be considered a rule. A simple one that you had just put out there for yourself to keep an eye out. You never really thought that you would find yourself in a situation that required you to listen to yourself. Your rule had been to never date or get romantically involved with a co-worker or to simply fall for one. The emphasis lies on the ‘had been’ because at this very moment you couldn't be further away from following it. 

You were sitting in a cafe and fidgeted with the sugar packets, neatly putting them in their container and then spilling it out again to arrange them differently. It wasn't out of boredom, rather out of pure nervousness with a slight hint of terror. 

When you had agreed to come to this conference you never would have dreamed that the head of marketing would tag along. You had envisioned this trip as a nice getaway, a possibility to work with it not feeling like work at all. 

Rome had been a dream destination for you since you were little and to have the opportunity to go there for a long weekend with it being completely paid by your company had made it even better. You only had to attend a few talks and give a 30-minute presentation yourself, easy peasy. The rest of the time you would have been free to roam the city and to do every touristy and non-touristy thing you could think of. This plan had been crossed effortlessly by Yoo Kihyun himself. 

The small cafe near the venue was nearly empty apart from you and Kihyun, who now made his way back to you, two coffees in hand. He sported you a bright smile and sat down opposite of you. You quickly grabbed the sugar packets that were still sprawled over the entire table and shoved them into the container, ruining your last 5 minutes of meticulous work. You tried to smile back at him but knew that this was not your usual charming professional smile but the awkward smile of your thirteen-year-old self trying to talk to a boy. You had been thoroughly convinced that you had dropped that bashful, clumsy version of yourself ages ago. But here you were surprising yourself in the most uncalled for and unwanted way possible. 

"I gotta say you were pretty impressive up there," Kihyun loosened the slim black tie around his neck and opened the top button. It was a hot day, the sun almost at its highest point grilling all that stood in its way. Part of you missed the wonderfully climated hall you had spent the last 3 hours in because now the only thing that cooled you slightly was the soft fresh breeze which gradually flowed through the stuffy mediterranean air. He rolled up the sleeves of his button down without breaking eye contact. And with that simple course of action he made the day a little hotter. You felt your ears slowly turn red as you tried to look as normal as you could even after the unexpected compliment and now the slow transition from business to casual was messing with your brain considerably.

You couldn't be serious. This wasn't your first date. In fact you didn't know if this could even be called a date. You had held your presentation an hour ago and afterwards he just asked you to grab coffee. 

That is all this was. 

That is all this was, you repeated to yourself. But you had no chance in avoiding how handsome the man before you was. You had seen him in a few board meetings before and even though your two departments usually worked closely together you seldomly had any face-to-face contact with him since his office was in a different building complex. Luckily for you, because even though you never really fell for him, which would definitely be against your rule, you still were very much attracted to him and had trouble staying focused in the very few times you actually occupied the same space just like now.

"Thanks," you were able to mumble. You took your coffee from the tray and gave him a small nod. 

"So tell me more about what you found out.” 

After hearing those words you immediately relaxed. This wasn't a date. Not at all. He just wanted to talk to you about your work. That you could do. There was no reason to be awkward, this was strictly professional. You sighed in relief and started to explain all the various components of your talk and went further into detail. He listened to you attentively while sipping his coffee.

"So as I said it is extremely vital to continue monitoring -"

"-You know I gotta say I like you better that way"

"Excuse me?" 

"Well you seemed really uncomfortable since I invited you. It's nice to see you relax a bit. Makes me feel less like I am forcing you out on a date"

"A....a date?"

"Yeah a date. Did I not make that clear?" He looked a little lost and you could clearly see the gears inside his head turning. "I'm sorry. I really thought that would have been obvious." He chuckled and you were completely unable to focus.

Your response probably took you longer than it was comfortable for both parties. But you couldn't believe that you got this all wrong. So this was supposed to be a date. Well that changed things. Or did it really? If you were comfortable talking to him a second ago why would you now be this damn flustered. Sure he was intimidatingly perfect and having taken an interest in him over the last year or so made you not wanting to screw up. So sure nervousness was perfectly appropriate. Still this was your chance. Your chance to get to know him. And what did you plan to do, run? Like hell that would be a good idea. You were here, he was here and you were in goddamn Rome having clearly left your one rule at the airport. So screw it. Might as well make the best of it. 

You brushed a stray strand of hair back over your ear and mustered your courage.

"I’m sorry. A date sounds great and it gives us some time to get to know each other and even though we've been working together for a year now I hardly know you." 

"Well it's not like you ever gave me a chance. You usually just rush out of the meetings I am part of and I rarely see you at the cafeteria." You knew exactly why you didn't try to get any close to him because you would have probably fallen for him instantly. As you were doing now. 

“I mean I could have asked you out via email but let's be honest that would have been really weird. Attached you can find the overview we discussed and also would you be interested in grabbing a coffee with me' I don't think so." You giggled. 

"Actually I got one of those once. From Minhyuk in sales. I really didn't know how to respond”

"Funny I got one or those as well." Both of you burst out into laughter.

“But seriously though. It's like whenever I see you, you are running all over the place your bright yellow binder in hand. And I never see you at the cafeteria. You're really not that easy to get close to."

"I'm sorry I feel like I was just dashing through life the last couple of months. I mean you know how stressful the whole project was. So I never really had time to myself or for others"

“Well sounds to me like it’s about damn time you had some fun.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you from your seat, quickly wrapping an arm around your waist to prevent you from stumbling. You were close to him. Too close. You could feel the heat rushing towards your head and forgot to breathe for what felt like forever. His face was now only a few inches away from you. Your eyes were drawn towards his lips and for a split second you couldn’t stop your mind from going places you had tried to avoid. You could just simply kiss him, it would be so easy. The only thing you’d had to do would be to place your hand on the back of his neck and slowly draw him in. You could do that. Probably.

“So where do you wanna go first? I know some really nice spots”

You steadied your footing and straightened your skirt steadily brushing away the wrinkles and the thoughts that were filling your head. “Sure surprise me”

And surprise you he did. You spend most of the day going from gallery to museum and marveled at the beautiful architecture. Your plan had only involved the mainstream tourist spots, the blatantly obvious go to spots. But it was paling in comparison to the places he showed you. 

He excitedly told you everything he knew about the places he showed you all the while never leaving your side. You tried your best to let your eyes remain on the things he was telling you about but ever so often you couldn’t stop yourself from admiring the man beside you. 

The bright midday sun was highlighting the sharp edges of his face making it look even more perfect than it already was. His laugh and smile were intoxicating, making you smile brightly everytime and making you want to spend every waking second of this weekend with him. Seeing him wildly gesticulate in the air because words were not enough to convey his excitement, seeing his eyes light up when he noticed how interested you were and most of all making you feel like you were the only thing that mattered. He was able to casually take your hand whenever it was necessary to not lose you or simply because just standing next to you didn’t cut it. 

“How do you even know of these places?” you had asked him once you entered a quiet alley looking for a specific restaurant he’d been talking about for the whole day. 

“Well I spent the last few years at this conference, just with a different employer. So once I got the main touristy things out of the way I got bored and started to wander around, talked to locals, that kind of thing. I mean touristy spots aside those small places have their own charm and they are not so damn crowded all the time” you turned a corner. 

The alley you had entered was gorgeous and it looked like an old painting or at least a picture perfect little world. The narrow cobblestone path wound around the houses. Not the straight lines of streets that dictated where you were going but rather like a little stream that was built gradually to connect the houses without wanting to disturb any of them. The buildings were overgrown with ivy and every house seemed to have their own little hanging garden perched upon the small balconies. Everything was framed in green and a few radiant specks of colour in the form of tiny flowers. You hadn’t moved but were just admiring the view. Trying to take it all in and commit it to memory. 

“Ah there we are” The place he pointed to was a small window front, not more than the little shops at home that had been neatly arranged next to each other. It only had a few chairs outside.

“Come on. Let’s eat” 

Kihyun was standing right beside you and took your hand, gently guiding you towards a free table. “

The meal had been delicious and after it was over none of you had the intention of leaving instead you spent the rest of the evening talking until the sun was slowly setting. The twilight illuminated the small world you were currently lost in. Sitting in this tiny restaurant and talking to the man you had tried so hard to avoid.

Giving in had been so easy. You didn’t want to fall in love, hell you even went to such length as to not give him any chance to really talk to you. And absolutely you were right. Because right now that mushy feeling in your stomach had grown to a size you could no longer ignore. No you didn’t want to fall in love but you sure as hell were. He’s shown you his favorite places, the hidden gems in his tour all putting one thought in your head that you couldn't shake: He seems to like you. Or was he just playing with you? Taking you along to not spend the weekend alone and ditching you once you were back home? Maybe just maybe he’d be capable of this. And let’s be honest just because you were getting attached wouldn’t mean he’d do the same, now would it. But right now you didn’t care. Even if he was just playing some wicked game with you, you had already fallen too deep. Too deep to realize it even if you wanted to and too deep to care that he might destroy that little world of yours in 2 days time.

[honeyhan-123]

The Artist ~ III

Summary: When Steve meets the reader at an art class he immediately becomes enticed and maybe, just maybe, she can help heal his wounded heart.

Warnings: none (smut in later chapters)

Word Count: 2.6k

AN: I am so sorry it took my a while to come out with the next part of the series but I hope y’all like it. Also Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to everyone! 

As always a massive thank you to the beautiful @imanuglywombat​ who designed the amazing moodboard. 

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Part One ~ Part Two

Steve had woken up the next morning in a funk. It had started the night before when he had awkwardly walked back to the tower with Bucky. He wanted so badly to say something, to say anything to the other man but everytime he tried, he was just reminded of that night and his heart shuddered in his chest. He had thought they were finally in a good place again but it still hurt. He knew he was being selfish but he couldn’t help it. He had waited so long to finally get Bucky back and to have him so close but not in the way he wanted was torture for Steve.

It was as though the entire tower could feel Steve’s sour mood as hardly anyone bothered him throughout the day. He had spent most of it in the gym, either destroying yet another punching bag or sparing with his teammates as they drifted in and out of the room. The hours that he didn’t spend in the gym were occupied by a small amount of paperwork and mission planning. 

They had recently caught wind of some illegal arm dealing off the coast of Portugal and while it would have normally been left to the authorities, they had reason to suspect they were dealing with alien tech so the team had been brought in. There wasn’t much information circling about it so Steve knew he still had a couple weeks to plan but it still made him slightly ansty being so unprepared.

The hours passed slowly but finally it was six o’clock and Steve felt no guilt as he packed up for the day. There was a slight spring in his step as he left Avengers tower with his sketchbook tucked under his arm and his sour mood from earlier was almost completely forgotten. His legs jiggled as he took the J train out to Brooklyn, equal parts nerves and excitement ransacked their way through his veins. 

To help pass the time as the train rushed through underground tunnels Steve watched those around him. Not like he would on a mission trying to figure out whether or not they were actually civilians but as he imagined an artist would watch them. He tried to figure out how he would draw each and every and every passersby. He tried to memorise the way the old lady’s smile lines deepened as she spoke to who Steve assumed to be her grandson, or the way the little boy looked up to her with complete adoration in his eyes. 

He felt so much more at ease than he had all day as he stepped off the train and began the short walk towards the studio, his mind never once drifting to his brunet best friend. Despite the darkening sky the streets were packed as people bustled around and Steve had to squeeze his way through the throng of people. He smiled as he passed a group of carolers despite it only being late November. The familiar tune of ‘Good King Wenceslas’ floated through his ears and he stooped to donate a hefty sum in their collection tin, earning him a round of ‘thank yous’.  

The studio was only a block away so when he finally dashed up the steps, he could still hear the melodic voices of the group. As he pulled the door open, a warm gush of air washed over him and he couldn’t wait to get inside but he heard someone call out to him that made him pause. 

‘Hey! Hold the door please!’ He turned as you came bustling up the stairs, your face barely visible behind the large canvass you carried. Steve stood back and ushered you in ahead of him and you gave him a small ‘thanks!’ 

Already starting to feel a little too warm in your multiple layers, you set down the canvass just inside the entryway and shrugged out of your heavy winter jacket. ‘It’s bloody cold out there isn’t it? I reckon we’ll get some snow for sure this year.’ Steve nodded his head somewhat absentmindedly, trying to tear his eyes away from you. 

‘I - uh - yeah, I hope so. It used to snow heaps in the city when I was growing up but it’s been a while since we’ve had a proper winter.’ 

‘Oooh that must have been so nice! I’ve always wanted a white Christmas like in all those Hallmark movies but I grew up in Australia so that was never going to happen.’ 

‘You’re from Australia?’ The slight twang of your accent had been one of the first things Steve had noticed about you, but he thought maybe the average person wouldn’t have been able to tell. It definitely sounded like you had been in New York for a while. 

‘Yeah, Melbourne actually. I moved here after university. I have no idea why though. Probably some preconceived notion that to be an artist, you have to struggle in New York for a bit first.’ You laughed as you mocked yourself and Steve smiled, knowing exactly what you meant. ‘What about you? Are you originally from the Big Apple or are you a newbie like me?’ Your eyes locked with his as you asked and Steve felt his smile deepen. 

‘I was born and raised here in Brooklyn actually.’

‘Right of course, you literally said you grew up in the city earlier. Sorry about that.’ Steve shrugged away your apology telling you not to worry about it. The door was pulled open and you tried to move out of the way as a gust of cold air drifted inside following another class member who you smiled in greeting at.

‘We should probably head in, it’s nearly seven.’ Steve said as he checked his watch. ‘Do you need a hand with that?’ He gestured towards the large canvas leaning against the wall.

‘Oh yeah. If you wouldn’t mind? It’s just a bit awkward to carry by myself.’

‘Not at all.’ He easily lifted it into his arms and followed as you led the way down the hallway and into the studio. He had no choice but to follow as you headed towards one of the easels towards the front of the room, where you had sat last week. Even though he didn’t want to be noticed by the rest of the class, Steve couldn’t resist the temptation of sitting down in the empty stool next to yours. 

He watched as you pulled out your oil paint and started setting them on a very used palette and Steve was reminded of last night. He wasn’t sure if he should bring it up, as you hadn’t mentioned yet, but he thought maybe you just hadn’t seen him. After all he and Bucky had been towards the back. 

‘I uh, I saw you last night. At Ronan’s bar for the wine and art night.’ He clarified, determined not to seem creepy. ‘I was going to say hi but you seemed a little busy.’

‘Oh, really? I’m so sorry I didn’t even notice you were there! But how good is it!? $25 for unlimited wine plus some art fun. It’s just a shame they only run it during winter.’ You looked slightly remorseful and Steve couldn’t help but agree.

‘I didn’t realise that. I just found the flier over the weekend and decided to give it a try.’ 

‘Well I’m glad you did. If you don’t mind me asking, why the sudden interest in art?’

‘Oh, well I don’t know really. One of my friends, Nat, found my sketchbook that’s basically been abandoned the last few years and wouldn’t stop nagging me to get back into it. She and Tony are always pushing me to have a life beyond work.’

‘Tony as in Tony Stark?’

It only crossed Steve’s mind as he nodded that perhaps not all of Tony’s employees were on a first name basis with him. He needed to be more careful with the words that came out of his mouth. Eager to shift the conversation away from Tony he quickly divulged even more personal information. ‘I uh, I think it might have something to do with my friend, the one I told you about last time.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah, growing up he was practically always my muse and we’ve only recently found each other again - he had to go away for a while. Maybe it’s because he’s back again that I’ve found the inspiration…’ He drifted off, unsure of what he was saying. ‘That probably didn’t make any sense.’

‘No, no, it did. I totally get what you mean. I used to have this dog, his name was Bear and growing up I used to draw him all the time. But when he passed away, I just didn’t feel that spark anymore, you know? It took me a while to find it again but when I did everything just made sense again.’ 

Steve was refrained from replying by the entrance of Madame Maxine to the studio as she quickly called the class to order. 

‘Today we have the wonderful Jerry modelling again. Since it is his second week, he will be modelling nude for us today.’ Her attention drifted back to Jerry who was wearing a dark red silken robe. ‘If you could please derobe Jerry and get settled into position B that would be brilliant.’ Jerry nodded and followed her instructions, setting himself down on the stool in front of the class. Steve had to admire his confidence. He knew that even if it was purely for art he could never model nude for anyone, he struggled enough doing promotional shots when he was fully clothed. 

Steve was too aware of you sitting next to him for the next hour. Everytime you shifted on your stool or bent to mix some more paints he noticed and his eyes followed your movements. As a result his own sketch was barely half complete by the time the hour was up and the small bell rang. He would definitely be voting to keep the position. 

Your painting on the other hand was beautiful. Despite the limited time you had not only managed to capture Jerry as he was, but also his essence. Steve was enraptured and stammered his way through a maze of compliments which you humbly shrugged away. 

‘I just have experience with Jerry, he modelled last winter and he works here part time too.’ 

‘He works here?’

‘Yeah Maxine rents out the studios to aspiring artists if they need a large space. I had this massive project over the summer on three canvases that were each four by five meters and my apartment is a shoebox so it never would have worked if it weren’t for Maxine.’

‘Wow, that sounds impressive.’ Steve could hardly imagine working on as big a canvass as you were currently using, never mind one nearly three times the size. ‘How long did it take you to finish?’

You glanced down, slightly avoiding his eyes. ‘It’s not… well it's not technically finished yet. I’m so close to being done with it but I just…’ You trailed off, unsure how to put it into words. 

‘There’s something missing?’ Steve filled in for you and you nodded eagerly.

‘It’s almost right but everytime I think it’s done I realise just how much I hate it and I have to leave the room to stop myself from painting over it again.’ Although Steve had never done something quite on the same wavelength he could relate to the need for perfection. He had lost count of how many pages he had ripped out of his sketchbook and thrown in the trash only to start all over again. 

‘What’s it of?’

‘It’s a collection, mainly of my favourite places in New York and it’s all about the human footprint… or at least, it’s meant to be.’ 

‘If it’s anything like your painting of Jerry I’m sure it’ll be incredible.’ 

Steve didn’t have to be able to see it to know that your cheeks would be flushing with heat at his compliment. He didn’t understand why you doubted yourself so much, it was clear that you were incredibly talented. ‘Thank you, you’re far too sweet.’ 

Maxine clapped her hands once again calling the attention of everyone. ‘It is now that time where we decide if we would like Jerry to stay as he is or if we would like him in a new position. Raise your hands for the same pose.’ Steve eagerly raised his hand along with you and most of the class.

After a quick headcount Maxine nodded firmly. ‘Well that settles it, Jerry, if you would be so kind as to return to position B.’ Once again the silk robe fell to the floor as Jerry repositioned himself on the stool and Steve promised that he wouldn’t let himself get as distracted by you this time around. 

+

By the end of the second hour Steve had a half decent looking sketch that paled in comparison to yours but he had long since resigned himself to its fate. 

‘Your painting is amazing.’ He told you truthfully and you smiled up at him abashed. 

‘Thank you Steve. That really means a lot.’

‘Well, it’s definitely true.’ Once again, Steve’s heart constricted in his chest as you flashed a sweet, bashful smile his way. He really felt a little ridiculous, being so completely enticed by someone he had only just met but being with you, it just all felt different. 

He watched as you packed up your paints and helped you carry the drying canvas over to the corner of the room where Maxine said you could leave it for the night. 

By the time you were by the coat rack you and Steve were the only students left in the studio, everyone else had filed out fairly quickly. Steve shoved his coat on and quickly plucked your own from the hook, holding it out for you. 

He wondered briefly if he was perhaps overstepped but the smile of gratitude you flashed him put him at ease as you daintily slid your arms into the open holes. ‘Thank you.’

‘Anytime.’ He walked with you out of the building and down into the street. 

‘Well, I’m heading this way.’ You pointed in the opposite direction of the train station and Steve felt a brief flash of chagrin. He wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye just yet and he got the feeling that you felt the same. 

‘I’m the other way. But uhh…’ The invitation to coffee at a cafe just down the street was on the tip of his tongue as his phone rang. ACDC’s Back in Black rang through the cool night air, breaking any tension that had been building up. 

You flashed what looked like a remorseful smile and raised a hand in farewell. ‘I’ll let you get that, but will you be at Ronan’s next week?’

‘Yeah, yes. I will.’ Steve hadn’t really thought about returning to the little bar but if that’s where you were going to be, that’s where he would be too. 

‘Great! I’ll uh, see you there.’ You flashed him that sweet and bashful smile once more before turning on your heel and getting lost in the crowds of New York. 

Steve watched you go for longer than he really should have and by the time he finally fished his phone out of his pocket Tony had nearly been sent to voicemail. 

‘Tony, what’s going on?’

+

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[thebluenebula]

This just an idea I had for a Batfam story. Batman takes in a new child after they lose everything. I don't have any idea where this story will go or if I'll continue it for long.

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Day 2

Day 3

A New Bat Pt1

I stepped out of the limo and looked on at the huge mansion looming over me. "Holy shit."

"Indeed Miss Ashleigh." Alfred had gotten out if the car and was now standing beside me. "You head inside now and I'll grab your bags."

"Let me help you Alfred."

"Nonsense. Master Bruce is waiting for you inside. It's best you go see him immediately."

I nodded to him and walked up to the door. It seemed so much larger now that I was in front of it. I knocked gently on in it. Within a minute the huge door swung open and behind it stood Bruce Wayne.

"Welcome to Wayne Manor, Ashleigh."

I looked in awe at the huge entrance hall.

"Ahsleigh. I'm glad that you are here. I tried to make sure most of the children are out today. I imagine meeting them all at once would be overwhelming."

"Exactly how many people live here?" I asked.

Bruce shrugged and laughed a little. "Honestly I'm not sure. It varies from day to day. At any one time there's usually at least eight people here."

"Jeez."

A voice chimed in from behind. "I couldn't have said it better myself."

I turned to see Alfred walking in the door carrying my bags. "Let me help you with those."

"No need Miss Ashleigh. I see no reason in bringing these any further until you have picked a room."

I turned back to Bruce. "I get to pick a room?"

"Well there's quite a few unused room in the manor. I'll get Dick to show you around and you can choose any of the unused rooms."

"Shall I retrieve Master Grayson?" Alfred asked.

"If you wouldn't mind Alfred." Bruce turned back to me. "Dick is my eldest and between us, he has more common sense then most of my other children."

A moment later Dick appeared out of one of the doors. "Alfred said you're ready for me to show the new kid around." He turned to look at me. " And there she is. Nice to meet you, I'm Dick Grayson."

"The names Ashleigh."

"Well Ashleigh, I'll show you around the place." He motioned for me to follow him.

Bruce placed a hand on my shoulder. "You go with Dick and Alfred will prepare dinner. Any allergies or general dislikes he should know about?"

I shook my head. "No none."

Bruce nodded and I took off after Dick.

"B's happy to take you in. Despite the fact he has like a dozen kids he's still not all that good at this parenting thing but he tries. I mean really how bad could he be. I turned out alright.

Dick showed me around the first floor. It had all the practical everyday rooms you would expect in a house. Kitchen, dining room, living room, etc. We chatted as we went through the rooms. Little fun facts about the manor. When it was built, what extensions had been added, etc. He even told me about himself. How he ended up in Bruce's care. He seemed like a nice guy. I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy it here.

"The second floor is mostly like hobby rooms." Dick said as we climbed the stairs to the next floor. "You got any hobbies?"

"I like to draw."

"Well theres a drawing room, a painting room, a music room, a gym, and a room for just about every other hobby you could have."

"Every hobby?"

"Every." Dick put a lot of emphasis on the word.

"Archery?"

"There's a range in the garden.

"Metalwork?"

"There's equipment for that down in the basement, along with woodworking equipment and the sorts."

"How about a shooting range?"

"There's one down in the cave. Jason kept at B until he had one installed."

The idea of Red Hood bugging Batman until he gave in paints a beautiful image in my head.

Dick pointed to a piece of paper hung on the wall. "Steph insisted on putting these maps around on this floor. There's one in almost every hall. She kept getting lost looking for Cass everytime she took up a new hobby."

I examined the map for a moment. "That's a lot of different rooms.""Yeah, it's B's way of showing interest in what were up to. Any time someone mentions an interest in something he has a room renovated to suit that hobby or interest."

"That sounds awesome." I was slightly in awe.

Dick smirked. "Yeah, one of the many perks of being adopted by a billionaire. Babs once complained about the price of cinema tickets, a week later we had an indoor cinema."

"Guess I should just complain a lot." I joked.

Dick laughed. "Anyway I don't think I need to show you around this floor. The maps should be enough direction. Steph works hard to keep them updated." Dick started up the stairs to the third floor. "This floor is all the bedrooms."

Suddenly a shape jumped down from the floor above and landed in from of me. I jumped back and lost my footing. I land back on the second floor. I opened my eyes to see Dick and the shape, a cat, a fuckin cat running down the stairs to me.

"Are you okay Ashleigh?"

I got to my feet. "I'm fine, just a little bruised." I glared at the cat.

"That is Alfred the Cat. He's a bit mischievous."

I watched the cat run off. "Yeah I think I got that. Any other pets I should know about?"

"Well we have two dogs, Ace and Titus, and Batcow."

"Is Batcow a mix between-"

"No, she's just a cow."

"Okay. Yeah a cow bat hybrid would be ridiculous."

"Well should we tour the next level?" Dick gestured up the stairs.

"Sure."

This time we reached the top of the stairs uninterrupted.

"I can't really show you inside the rooms, cause you know invasion of privacy and all that, but I can show you where my room is if you need me, and I'll show you the empty ones."

We walked down a couple of hallways and then stopped outside a door. Dick pushed the door open. "This is my room."

I looked inside. A large double bed against one wall. Gym equipment in the corner but other than that is was pretty ordinary, A dresses and a wardrobe. A big Tv and one one wall a large poster of The Flying Graysons. "It's nice.

"Thank you. Most of my personal belongs are in my apartment in Bludhaven so it's a little bland here. Theres plenty of empty rooms on this floor but I figure you probably want one with a window."

"That'd be nice"

We spent the next twenty minutes or so going through rooms I could choose but to me they all had the same problem. They were two big. I didn't own a lot of stuff. At least I didn't bring a lot of stuff here with me and the last thing I wanted was to be in a big empty room. Eventually we came to a smaller room. I took one step in side and it felt warm. Welcoming even. I turned to Dick. "What about this one?"

"You sure this ones okay? It's a lot smaller than some of the other ones."

"Yeah, its enough room for me." I smiled at him.

"Okay then. Remember you can always change to another one later if this one doesn't suit. I'll have Alfred bring your stuff after dinner."

"I'll bring them up. I'm sure Alfred is busy enough."

Dick smirked. "I think Alfred will like you. Dinners probably nearly ready. You can chill here for a while or wonder around. Just come down to the dining room soon. If you can remeber where it is."

I giggled. "Im sure I'll find it."

He left and I just stood there. Thinking. A month ago my life was completely different but after today everything changes. I smiled out the window. It overlooked the huge back garden. Honestly if I was just passing by the outside I'd assume this place was a hotel. I guess I should go down for dinner. Today is the beginning of a new life.A few flights of stairs and a couple wrong turns later I was in the dining room. The huge table was empty bar Dick sitting near the top.

I sat down across from him. He looked over to me. "Dinner might be another couple of minutes." Looked around to make sure no one else was in the room. "Apparently B tried to help Alfred. Which always ends in disaster."

"Not always." Bruce's voice chimed in from the other side of the room.

Dick flinched at the sound of the voice. "Piece of advice. If you ever talk bad of B, he usually pops up behind you."

Bruce laughed a little and took his seat at the head of the table. "Alfred is just finishing up the meal and will be joining us soon. I hope you enjoy spaghetti bolognese Ashleigh."

"One of my favourites."

"Trust me." Dick chimed in. "Alfred is the best cook in the world."

"While it may not be quite as good as Master Dick says it is most certainly above average." Alfred said as he walked into the room carrying a tray.

"Humble as ever Alfred." Bruce smiled.

"Of course Sir."Alfred set the tray down on the table and began to head back out of the room.

"Won't you be joining us Alfred?" Bruce asked.

Alfred stopped and turned to us. "Of course Sir." He took a seat next to Dick.

"So Ashleigh, have you chosen a room yet?" Bruce asked as he ate.

I had a mouth full of food. Typical. Silence for a second as I swallowed it. "Yes, it's one at the back. It looks over the garden. It lovely out there."

"She actually picked one of the smallest rooms." Dick pointed out.

"Huh." Bruce seemed intrigued. " I don't think anyone has deliberately picked a small room before." He then points to Alfred. "The garden is for the most part Alfred's work."

"It's a nice way to keep myself busy on my days off." Alfred commented.

Dick looked over to me. "Saturday and Sunday are Alfred's days off. Though he does usually still cook those days."

"Yes. Cooking is another thing I find to be relaxing." Alfred then glared over at Dick. "And if I didn't this manor would have burnt to the ground years ago.

"We're not that bad Alfred."

"Shall I tell Miss Ashleigh about the time-"

"No."

"Or perhaps-"

"No Alfred, that's quite alright." Dick turned to me. "Okay so maybe there's a reason most of us are banned from the kitchen.

I giggled and from the head of the table table Bruce let out a small chuckle."

Both Alfred and Dick stared at Bruce for a moment before they began to chuckle themselves. The rest of the dinner went by with lots of chatting and laughing.

"Alfred, delicious as always." Dick complimented the food as he took the last of it up in his fork.

"Thank you Master Dick." Alfred stood up from the table and gathered all the empty plates. "Now if you dont mind, I must tend to the dishes."

Dick stood up. "I'll help you Alfred. You should give Ashleigh a heads up about tommorow B."

Bruce nodded to him as the two left the room.

I looked to Bruce slightly concerned. "What happens tommorow?"

"Nothing serious. Dick just meant all the people that'll be around."

"Oh, how many people?"

Bruce shrugged. "Honestly I'm not sure. As I said it varies. Probably at least four, but it could be like ten. My guess is quite a few. Once they know theres a new person in the house im guessing most of them will come around for a while hoping to meet you."

"Oh." I was slightly worried at the thought of meeting so many people.

"I've warned them not to swarm you. My guess is they'll 'bump' into you across the day. Probably in groups of one or two."

"That doesn't sound too bad."

"I'd warn you about each of them individually but i think its best you learn about them each yourself. Also ever door in this manor can be locked. If you need some time alone."

I nodded and stood up from the table. "Thank you. I should probably head to bed early after the flight. Jetlag and what not.Goodnight. If you need anything dont be afraid to ask."

"Of course. Goodnight."

I walked back to the entrance and grabbed my bags. I went up to my room, only taking one wrong turn this time. It took awhile to fall asleep but eventually it came to me.

I sat up. I was sweating. It was still dark outside. I stood up and threw on my clothes from yesterday. "It was just a dream, just a dream." I took a moment to settle my self. "Now where was that bathroom Dick showed?"

A couple of minutes of aimless wandering later and I found it. After I had emptied my bladder and washed the sweat off my face I headed back to my room. I approached the door when I saw two men walk out of my room. "Dick?"

"There you are." Dick walked over to me. "We just got back from patrol figured I'd check in on you."

I looked him up and down. He was still wearing his Nightwing costume. "Are you expecting something to happen to me?"

"No. Its just wanted to check in on you."

The figure behind him joined in. "He's very motherly kid. Best get used to it."

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I noticed the other figure was holding a helmet.

Dick pointed to him. "This is Jason or just Jay. Jay this is Ashleigh."

"Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." Jay turned to Dick. "Im gonna go get some shut eye. You can put the kid back to bed." He walked by by me and into one of the rooms.

"Jay's like that with everyone." Dick assured me. "You'll get use to it. The rest of the gang came in a while ago, they were asking about you."

"Oh."

"They're excited to meet you." He patted my shoulder. "Im going to get some rest my self. You know where I am if you need me."

I nodded and headed back to my room. I managed to fall back to sleep for awhile.

[rohad93]

Sea Glass: Ch 8

18+ Yellow woke the next morning, stiff and sore from yet another night laying in an awkward position on the ground. She briefly considered not even opening her eyes. Maybe if she was lucky she could just lay here with her eyes closed and never have to move again, that was what she really wanted at this moment.

To not be chained to Blue, to not be out in the middle of the forest and not wondering where her ship was and if her crew had managed to not kill each other or sink the damn thing yet. 

She just wanted to cease being for a short merciful little while.

She let herself lay there in the dark behind her eyelids for a little while longer before finally peeling them open, though under great internal protest.

The trees blocked out most of the harsh sunlight so it didn't take much for her eyes to adjust to what morning light was filtering through the leaves.

The first thing she noticed was Blue, sitting up beside her, leaning back against the large outcropping of rocks they had used to make their camp. 

She had her knife in hand and was carefully whittling at long stick into a point. 

She slowly started to sit up, drawing Blue’s gaze.

“Morning,” she said distractedly as she went back to her stick. Yellow grunted in response, carefully stretching out her neck as she pulled herself up to sit, her muscles slowly coming to life.

She missed her bed more and more with every passing day, she thought idly as a jaw cracking yawn worked its way out of her.  Blue glanced at her and smirked, watching the groggy captain come around.

With a sigh she dug into their bag and pulled out some of the dried meat, turning to watch Blue as she chewed on the leathery food. 

“What are you doing?” she mumbled around the mouthful of food.

“I…,” she started, shaving another bit of wood off the tip of the stick. “...am going to have fish for breakfast,” she said matter of factly. 

“You’re going to spearfish?” she asked, cocking a brow at that and glancing back over at the river.

“I am.” She tossed the knife down, it stuck, blade pinned into the ground between Yellow’s knees and it was at this moment the blonde seemed to have an epiphany as she looked at the blade buried into the dirt

Yellow realized that Blue could have cut her loose at any time with one quick cut while she was sleeping, and that more than anything over the last few days made Yellow think. Why hadn’t she?

Either one of them could move so much quicker and easier if they weren’t attached. Blue was smart, very smart. She surely knew this. She didn’t need Yellow for anything, staying together made everything more difficult. 

If she were chained to anyone else she would have already slit their throat and cut their hand off by now.

“Come on…” Blue gave the chain a gentle tug and with a sigh Yellow stood and followed her back to the river’s edge where Blue perched herself on the bank, staring into the water. 

Yellow watched her as she sat, looking into the water for fifteen minutes, not even making a sound.

"You're not going to…," she started when Blue sprung forward, stabbing the stick into the water like a shot from a pistol. Yellow jerked, looking at the grinning woman as she pulled the stick back a fish flipping back and forth weakly as the life drained out of it.

Blue grinned victoriously, already knowing what she had been about to say. 

"I'm sorry, what?" she asked with a knowing little smirk. Yellow’s mouth snapped shut with an audible click. 

Within a few minutes, it was sizzling over the fire and filling the area with a mouthwatering smell.

Blue looked up to see Yellow looking at it out of the corner of her eye and grinned.  

“Would you like some of my fish, Yellow?” Blue asked sweetly but the grin on her mouth betrayed the tone.

“No…,” she huffed, biting down into a piece of hardtack and grimacing as it crunched between her teeth. Blue rolled her eyes.

“So stubborn…,” she mumbled under her breath as she bit into the fish, watching Yellow gnaw on the remainder of her own breakfast. 

“Why haven’t you offed me yet?” Yellow asked suddenly as they were putting out the fire.

“Do you… want me to kill you?” Blue asked, brows furrowed as she looked up at Yellow, confused. Yellow scoffed at that.

“No, I’m just curious why you haven’t when we both know that this wouldn’t be so taxing if we weren’t attached at the wrist.” She frowned. 

“Perhaps, but we did agree to not strangle each other until we were free and while I know you may not trust me… I am just as good to my word as you are,” she said, holding that amber gaze for a moment before going back to kicking dirt over the embers. “No games,” she said, not looking up. 

Yellow only watched her

They didn’t talk about it again.

~ ~ ~ 

“I’m bored…,” Blue announced by late afternoon. Yellow rolled her eyes.

“And what exactly would you like me to do about that?”

“Entertain me,” she declared.

The look on Yellow’s face told her exactly how she felt about that and she couldn’t help but grin.  

“Oh, come on, hiking through the woods so we don’t die is a little dull, you have to admit.” She nudged the blonde.

“What did you have in mind?” Yellow sighed. She was learning that in little things like this it was just so much easier to let Blue have her way and avoid a headache-inducing argument. 

“I spy something green…,” Blue suddenly said out of nowhere, making Yellow pause mid-step.

“What?” She turned to look at Blue.

“I spy something green,” she repeated, looking at Yellow expectantly, as though the phrase had any more meaning to her the second time around. She just looked back at Blue, confused

“By the gods, did you never play ‘I spy’ as a lass?” Blue looked aghast at the idea.

“I don’t know what that is, so I’m going to say no.” She started walking forward again, pulling them both along.

“It’s a game. Rose and I played it a lot when we’re young…It was one of the few things I was allowed to do...” her gaze turned distant for a second before she noticed Yellow looking at her. 

“It’s easy, I name the color of something I see and you have to guess what it is and then it’s your turn,” she explained.   

“Alright, fine.” Yellow submitted. 

“I spy something green.” 

Yellow glanced around.

“Trees?” she took a guess.

“I made it easy since it’s your first time.” she winked and Yellow pursed her lips. “Now it’s your turn.” 

“I spy…something blue…” she said after a second and Blue glanced around.

“The sky?” she guessed and Yellow shook her head.

“We’re in the woods, what else could you possibly see that’s blue?” she asked, giving Yellow a clear look of distrust but then she saw the blonde’s eyes flicker upward briefly and realized.

“Oh, maybe I underestimated your abilities. My bandana,” she said with a smirk.

“It’s a children’s game Blue and I’m in my thirties,… roughly.” she shrugged. It was hard to keep track of the years when you didn’t know exactly where you started.

“Well, what did you do for fun as a kid?” she gave the chain a yank, drawing Yellow’s attention.      

“I didn’t, I was busy surviving,” she grumbled.

“Oh? You learned all those little sleight of hands tricks while surviving?” she cocked a brow, but the smirk on her face made it clear she already knew the answer.  

“Fine, yes, I did occasionally entertain myself in ways that weren’t drinking, or stealing before I became a pirate.” She rolled her eyes, lips pulling up at the corners. “Little tricks like that, that I learned from… a mentor I had…” 

“Oh? 

Yellow just hummed, frowning now and it seemed like the conversation was over. 

“Do you want to keep playing?” she asked tentatively, sensing the sudden turn in Yellow’s mood.

“Not right now,” she mumbled, looking straight ahead of them. 

~ ~ ~  

It had been raining for a solid two days all along the coast now.

The pouring, relentless, torrential kind of rain that made it hard to see more than a few feet in front of you at a time. 

They had slowly been trudging along through the thick, and now wet, forest. Clothes soaked through and even their boots had filled with rainwater. 

Every step in their boots and the shin-deep mud squelched wetly. 

Rivulets of water dripped constantly down Yellow’s face but she had long given up any attempt at wiping it out of her eyes, she couldn’t see even when she did.

Her coat hung, soaked from her shoulders, weighing her further down with every step.

“Is it EVER going to stop raining…,” Blue practically had to yell to be heard over the pouring rain, her hair was plastered flat to her head, her clothes also hung off her in a soggy mess. She looked like a rat that had been thrown overboard. 

Yellow was too soggy and grouchy to find any amusement in it though. She had had her fill of rain for a while too. She was sick and tired of her feet being wet and cold, not to mention every other part of her.

“It’ll either stop, or we’ll drop dead and I won’t care anymore...either is fine…,” Yellow yelled back, trudging along, Blue was falling behind if the constant tugging on the chain was anything to go by.

Yellow winced everytime the metal dug into her skin.It had become raw with the constant twisting and tugging of the cuff. At one point dried blood  had been flaking off the inside, though it had been all washed away by the constant rain at the moment. 

“Will you please walk faster?” She didn’t mean it to sound as harsh as it sounded, being yelled over the rain. Blue looked up at her from beneath the hair plastered to her face and frowned.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but we’re fucking sink into the mud with every step!” she yelled back with a glare and Yellow just frowned, it took every ounce of her willpower to hold her tongue. Yelling back would not make anything better and the last thing they needed was to be fighting.

The sun was dipping below the horizon and they were both soaked and tired; tempers flaring easily. Yellow just sighed, running her right hand through her sodden hair tiredly. 

Her silence only seemed to further upset Blue though, who was now passing her, stomping through the mud.

“Happy?” she bit out as she passed the blonde, who could only sigh again as she followed. She was just too tired to bite back.

Blue was so busy purposely stomping through the mud she didn’t notice them cresting a hill until where her foot should have met flat ground, it did not.

Blue screamed as she went carrening forward, jerking Yellow right along with her as they tumbled down the hill, sliding through the mud and water, hitting sticks and rocks all the way down. They rolled to a stop Yellow flopping down on top of Blue in a muddy puddle at the bottom. 

With a grimace, Yellow quickly flipped herself off of Blue who pulled her head out of the water with a gasp, face caked in mud.

Yellow laid panting on her back in the mud, rain splattering down on her face. She just closed her eyes, letting the water come down. She couldn’t find the energy to stand. Several parts of her body ached dreadfully. No doubt she’d hit an array of things as they fell down the hill. Her left wrist burned from knocking the cuff into it all the way down.  

Blue carefully pushed herself up, spitting mud out of her mouth as she did, but didn’t make any move to get up yet.

Yellow somehow found the power to sit up, trying in vain to wipe the mud off her face with equally muddy hands. She felt so defeated in every way.

Apparently she wasn’t the only one. 

Blue’s frustrated scream made her jump.

She watched the other captain bury her face in her hands as she sat in the mud, slight tremors wracking her body and it was with a start that Yellow realized she was crying. 

Yellow sat in the mud, rainwater running down her face,dumbfounded, watching Blue.

For the first time in a long time, she felt helpless and she didn’t have a clue what she should do. The idea of trying to somehow comfort her was so foriegn to her it bordered on bizarre, but it felt more than wrong to just sit and watch her cry too. Blue may not even want her to do anything, but for some reason the idea of doing nothing rubbed her as raw as the cuff on her wrist.

Blue couldn’t help the scream of complete and utter frustration that tore its way out of her throat and it felt like the plug had been pulled and all her exhaustion and frustration came pouring out in tears right after it. She pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes, she didn’t want to look at Yellow nor have the blonde see her, here, at what felt like her lowest.  

She was just so tired and the skin of her right wrist stung everytime the cuff touched it, which was always. Rose was probably out of her mind with worry for her as well. She sniffed, thinking about her sister and for the first time since this had started considered that she may never see her sister again. Something that tore her to the core. 

At this point she was just hoping to sink into the mud and disappear. 

She didn’t even notice when Yellow moved over to sit next to her at first. She felt the blonde’s body heat radiating into her rain chilled frame first. She looked up, the tears running down her cheeks lost in the rain.

Yellow was sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest, arms folded on her knees and looking straight out into the forest, perhaps sensing those ocean colored eyes one her, she glanced at Blue from the corner of her eye, but said nothing.

A quiet understanding seemed to pass between them and Blue leaned her head on the blonde’s shoulder, letting her frustrations bleed down her face with the rain.   

~ ~ ~ 

After a little while the two managed to pull themselves out of the mud and trudge back up the hill. They had stayed just beyond the treeline to avoid being spotted by any royal navy ships, but with the pouring rain that wasn’t going to be an issue and they stumbled down to the beach to wash the mud off.

Even in the pouring rain, the ocean washing away the dirt and mud did lift Blue’s mood somewhat. The salt of the ocean always had nostalgic taste to her. Even better when it washed the gritty mud out of her mouth.  

She was even happier when they found the mouth of a cave down by the water, a cave that was dry inside with an abundance of washed up driftwood they could use for a fire.

It was amazing how much getting dry and sitting next to the fire with some food in her, even if it was crap food, could improve her mood. 

“We should be just south of Grenada in a day or so, then we can steal or get on board a ship,” Yellow hummed. 

Blue had the idea to keep their map in one of the empty rum bottles and luckily Yellow had listened to her, because the map stuffed in the bottle had been the only dry thing they had at one point. 

Blue looked up from the dried meat she was working on to peer at the blonde from beneath her finally drying hair as she poured over the map. 

Those were the first words the blonde had uttered since they fell down the hill. Blue hadn’t known what to say to her, and honestly she still wasn’t sure what to say, at least not about the moment they’d had sitting in the mud.

“Good,” she mumbled around the meat. 

Yellow dug through the sack and pulled out a bottle of rum and handed it to Blue before pulling out a second for herself. She pulled the cork out with her teeth and spat it into the dirt before tipping the bottle back. 

“I think that’s the best idea you’ve ever had…” Blue smiled as she followed suit.

It burned her throat and in that moment nothing else had ever felt so good.

By the end of the night Yellow wasn’t sure if it really was one of her best ideas or not. 

One bottle turned into two and the quiet atmosphere around the fire turned loud. Loud enough that Blue’s laughter and badly sung and slurred sea shanties sometimes drowned out the sound of the rumbling thunder outside, though the occasional flash of lightning did further light up their camp inside the cave.

Yellow just watched her, highly amused. Only having just started on her second bottle while Blue’s was nearly empty. She set the empty ones outside, wedged between rocks to fill with clean rain water. 

“Come on Yellow…,” Blue wheedled, poking the blonde in the shoulder. “Sing with me.” She had plopped herself on a small rock sitting directly across from the blonde, the chain hanging limply between them.

“I don’t sing, Blue.” She batted away the hand with a smirk. The happy look on Blue’s face was contagious and a complete one-eighty from where they had been only a few hours ago. “You can sing as many bad shanties as you want, but I’m fine…”

“Even the one I made up about you?” She was giving the blonde a sly look.

“No” she glared, making Blue laugh. 

“You are just no fun…,” Blue sighed, but the smile didn’t leave her face as she took another long swig and leaned back to regard Yellow with slightly unclear eyes. 

“What?” she cocked a brow, looking at Blue over the bottle as she took another long drink of the burning amber liquid. 

“Nothing…,”she said with an amused airy lilt that told Yellow exactly how drunk she was.  

Blue went quiet for a long moment but Yellow could tell by the look on her face that she was chewing on something. All she had to do was wait, and sure enough, Blue didn’t disappoint. 

“You asked me why I hadn’t offed you yet,” Blue suddenly asked with a heavy slur as she swallowed another mouthful of amber liquid. “You really wanna know?” she sing-songed.

“Not really…” She smirked around the mouth of the bottle

“Well, it’s a secret, but I’ll tell you…” Blue continued on, not even paying attention to Yellow’s answer while the latter chuckled. “You are an ass… but!” she started, holding up a finger and leaning forward. “I’m rather fond of you…,” she finally said, tapping her raised finger to the blonde’s nose, who went crossed eyed following the digit.

“Fond of me?” Yellow blinked as Blue sat back and took another long swig out of the bottle. “As in…,” she hesitated, blinking. She wasn’t nearly as sloshed as her companion but the rum was muddling her thoughts.  

“Even when you’re cranky, you're kind of cute…” Blue didn’t seem to be paying any attention to what Yellow was saying. 

“Since when?!” Yellow yelped. Blue hummed in thought, taking another long swig, the bottle nearly empty now.

“Since the galleon.” she nodded to herself, after a moment of thought, satisfied with the answer.

“When we were arrested?” 

“No, no!” Blue waved her left hand with the bottle in it. “The one with the silver, when we first met.”

“What?” Yellow didn’t know what else to say to Blue’s drunken rambling. 

“Mhmm… don’t… don’t sound so surprised!” Blue slurred. “Commanding and exacting with a razor wit… your reputation preceded you and I was kind of excited to meet you…,” she admitted, swaying a little from her spot on the rock. “You lived up to it too,” she said with a grin. “What I didn’t expect was the tall, blonde bits… and those eyes…,” she trailed off before another thought seemed to pop into her head. “A really good shot too,” she laughed to herself. 

If Yellow’s face hadn’t already been flushed from all the drinking it certainly would have been now.  

She was trying to push the hazy drunken cloud that was trying to push into her thoughts away to process what Blue had just said. 

That for years she had been attracted to her? She was having a hard time correlating this with her past interactions with Blue. She shook her head. She couldn’t think about this right now, she couldn’t get her thoughts in order.

“I… uh…” was what came out of her mouth instead. Blue grinned at her, cerulean eyes glassy and bright, she leaned forward on her toes, coming off the rock, her face barely a few inches from Yellow’s. She could feel the warmth and smell the rum on her breath. 

“See… even right now, I could just kiss you senseless…”, her low voice trailed off, leaning forward. Yellow stilled at that, waiting, when Blue pitched to the side, falling to the ground.

“Blue!” Yellow yelped but the other captain only started to laugh, still laying on the ground. She rolled over onto her back, the empty bottle still clutched in her hand as she looked up at Yellow, lit by the flickering flames of the fire.

“No one should be that attractive…,” she mumbled to herself, watching the light bounce off the blonde’s face, making her eyes and hair seem to glow in a golden light. The flush on Yellows face darkened 

“Are you alright?” she mumbled, reaching out a hand. Blue grabbed it, letting Yellow pull her back up, this time she settled right next to her on the ground, her body weight pressing against the blonde’s side.

"I'm fine," she drawled, her head leaning on Yellows shoulder, her eyes shut.

Yellow hummed and they lapsed into silence for a while.

"You can trust me ya know…," she spoke up after a while.

Yellow hummed, taking a long swig of her own bottle. She was not nearly drunk enough for this she decided.

But she was just drunk enough to be looser with her words.

"The last time I trusted a cunning trickster like you, I got burned… literally," she mumbled under her breath, itching to reach up and run her fingers over the scarring on her upper right arm. A grim reminder of betrayal she would carry with her all the rest of her days.

"I don't want to burn you…," was the groggy, grumbled reply.

Yellow chuckled at the irony of that. Maybe not intentionally, but everything Blue did seem to set her on fire inside.

Yet

She glanced at the chain still clamped around her wrist and thought about the knife she knew was tucked in Blue’s belt. Where she could have used it at any time. 

“Maybe, I believe that…,” she mumbled under her breath.

Her answer was a quiet snore and she blinked, craning her neck to look and see that Blue had fallen asleep leaned against her. With a roll of her eyes, Yellow carefully slid her to lay on her side.

She stayed up a while longer, watching the fire and listening to the rain outside and the slowly distancing rumble of thunder.

[moo-deps]

Sweet Flavour - PJM

Pairing: Park Jimin x reader (you)

Genre: Smut / Fluff

Summary: You come home to Jimin touching himself, you take the matter into your hands mouth to slowly go down on him to help him out. 

Word count: 2,800 words

Warnings: sexually explicit content, oral (male receiving), licking, hickeys and biting (lowkey)

AN: This one-shot is an ode to Jimin’s beautiful body which I think we should worship 💕. Comments and pieces of advice are always welcome. 

For the first time since you were dating, Jimin was the one alone in your apartment waiting for you to come back from work. At first, he found things to occupy himself with like doing the dishes after breakfast, doing the laundry and cleaning up a bit. As the day progressed, he grew bored of being alone and when the third afternoon romantic film began to play on the second channel, he started to imagine you as the lead female character of the story. Which led to him actually fantasizing about you in general. The movie was soon forgotten as he was working himself up with his hand on his hard cock, erotic images of you flooding his mind. And yet, he couldn’t come.

He heard the keys jingling as you opened and shut your front door. Jimin could hardly stop from touching himself in time before you entered your living room. He lamely tried to cover himself up with a cushion before you had time to look at him. 

“Hi baby, how was your…”, you trailed off as you approached him on the sofa. “What are you doing?”

Jimin couldn’t look up at you, too embarrassed to do so. He was panting, his sweaty hair plastered on his forehead. His sport short were hanging really low on his hips while his right hand was covered by the cushion. Even a blind person could understand what he had been doing. You hadn’t been dating for a long time and he was afraid that you might find it disgusting. Jimin felt the sofa sinking a bit on his right as you sat down beside him. He still refused to turn his head towards you. 

“Baby,” you called again softly nudging his shoulder, “it’s fine, you don’t have to be embarrassed.” He could hear the teasing tone in your voice. He finally turned his head to face you but took his time to look up at you. You were biting your lower lip trying to make the joking grin on your face disappear. But you failed miserably as you let out a loud laugh. 

“Don’t make fun of me.” Jimin complained as he looked down feeling his whole face turning red of shame. 

“I am sorry, it’s just the face you’re making!” you tried to explain as you calmed your laugh down. “Okay, news flash: I touch myself too when I am alone.” To that, Jimin turned back his head to you with a shy smile.

“But you don’t get caught.” he said with a defeated tone. 

“That’s because I have more experience in the whole ‘staying home alone’ thing.”

You leaned forward to press a loving peck on his cheek, Jimin humming in response to the warm contact of your lips on his skin. You stayed a moment with your forehead resting on his temple, one hand playing with his still damped hair at his nape. Jimin leaned against your touch that he had been craving for all day, almost forgetting the not so innocent actions he had engaged into before you arrived. 

“Do you want me to help?” you then ask in a breathy tone, mouth over his ear. Your words traveled Jimin’s body from his ear to his cock that he had eventually let go of. An unabashed moan escaped his lips before he nodded eagerly. You smile against his ear before taking his jaw gently with your fingers to turn his head completely to yours. You locked your lips with his for a slow yet deepening kiss. Jimin let you take the upper hand as you brush your tongue on his lips before he allowed you to explore his mouth with it. He let out a groan as he felt your fingernails scraping his scalp lightly as you continued to kiss him deeply. Jimin broke the kiss to get some air before reattaching your lips together for an even more feverish one. You were the one to let go of his lips this time as you move back a little from him. Jimin looked at you questioningly as your eyes couldn’t seem to stay connected with his. 

“What is it?” he asked gently while his hand met your cheek to stroke it lovingly, knowing all too well when you were hesitant to tell him something.

“Can I… Can I lead this time?” you inquired cautiously without looking at him. “I want to make you feel good.”

“Fuck.” Jimin whimpered as he felt his dick twitch against his thigh. In the short time you had been together, you had always been the most shy about anything intimate. You rarely voiced any desire, always following Jimin’s lead when it came to sex. 

“Was that a yes?” you asked with a shy smile, chewing on your cheek expectantly. 

“Yes, that was a fucking big yes. Help yourself love.” Jimin replied panting as the idea of you taking things into your hands was exciting him more than he would have imagined. 

You chuckled with a triumphant smile before kissing him again, more tenderly this time. Jimin settled his hands on your waist without guiding you in any sort, letting you take your time to explore, with delicate fingers, his hair then his jaw, his throat and neck, and then his shoulder and torso. He watched with adoring eyes and complete surrender as you grabbed the hem of his shirt to remove it from his body and tossed it on the floor. He didn’t miss how your hands trailed on his chest before heading to his abs and finally to his lower abdomen, earning a deep groan from Jimin when you sent the caushion hiding his hard-on to floor along with his top. He nudged you to straddle him so he could feel more of you on his body, but you shook your head no.

“It’s the wrong week of the month for me.” you explained with a pout. Jimin knew that you usually didn’t enjoy any kind of physical contact when on your periods. “Let’s make it all about you.”

Another high pitched whimper escaped Jimin’s throat at your words, not believing how selfless you were being. He let his head fall on the back of the couch, lips parted as his breathing started to quicken in anticipation of what you had in store for him. You kissed his jaw briefly before nipping at his throat for a bit, but settled for the crook of his neck to suck there thoroughly. It was all tongue and teeth for awhile on this particular zone and Jimin knew without looking that you were drawing a hickey on his skin. He also knew that his staff would scold him for it as it was way too high on his neck to be covered by a shirt alone. The thought made him smile. A harsher bite from you brought him back to the present moment. He hissed at the pleasurable pain and goosebumps traveled throughout his body. 

“Sorry” you whispered as you chose his collarbone as your next stop for your mouth. 

“Don’t be, that feels amazing,” Jimin reassured you as he brought a hand at the back of your head to massage you gently. “You feel amazing.”

Encouraged by his word, you began a slow but steady descent on him. First a suck on his hard nipple which had Jimin moaning loudly, the massaging turning into a tight grip in your hair. Then a lick between every one of his ribs in a vain attempt to calm his breathing down, he was a panting mess above you and his hand went loose on your strands. He had never seen you this focus on his body before which made his ego burst and his cock as hard as ever. And you hadn’t even touched him there once yet. 

As your mouth went down on Jimin, so did your body. When you reached his abs you were on the floor in front of him. You made a new lengthy pause there, kissing the muscles of his abdomen with utter care. You sucked and licked right below his navel, you were the one moaning this time. Everytime he contracted his abs under your touch, a light groan was leaving your mouth and you were sucking his skin even more. When Jimin understood that this was as pleasurable for him than it was for you, he started playing with his muscles on purpose. And soon another purplish stain appeared on his skin, this one Jimin would be able to keep to himself, he thought. Satisfied, you licked it goodbye and sunk further in his pelvic area, still working with your lips, teeth and tongue, until you reached his hip bone. 

You kissed that new spot gently and nuzzled his skin while inhaling his scent. Jimin was now going crazy above you, squirming, twitching, tossing, doing anything that would give him any type of contact between you and his painfully hard cock. You laughed at his antics as you remove his shorts and briefs from him and started to kiss along his thigh, showing no sign on aiming towards where Jimin wanted you. At that realization, he desperately thrust his hips upwards in the air to create a friction of any kind on his throbbing member. In vain. You paused your travel on his thigh, drawing circles with your thumbs on his hips to calm him down. 

“Patience, baby.” you asked, connecting your eyes with Jimin’s for the first time since you last kissed him. 

“But I need you there now!” he childishly urged you, bringing on the best pouty face he could master. Big puppy eyes, eyebrows raised, lower lip exaggeratedly stretched out and the head tilt to the side slightly. And yet you remained unfazed by his ultimate weapon. Externally that is. You were actually screaming inside, wanting to give him the world if he needed. You were the first one surprise by your cold exterior. You didn’t know where all your patience came from as usually you would have just gone straight for his cock to pleasure him under his guidance. But you were enjoying this newly discovered little act of yours and wanted to make it last a little longer. Having your boyfriend physically begging for your touch felt empowering. 

“Maybe, but I’ll go there when I decide to.” you sternly answered his plea, which made him whimper even more. 

Your attention went back to his delicious thigh. You loved the contrast between his firm muscle on the top of it and the tender flesh in the inner part. While you caressed the toned area, you attacked his soft skin directly with your teeth as close as possible to his groin, taking care of not actually touching his erected cock. Every exhalation from Jimin turned into a moan as you were working on giving him a third hickey, on a much more sensitive part this time. You lifted your gaze upon to see Jimin’s head completely tilted back against the couch, eyes closed, one hand in his hair, the other gripping his untouched thigh with force. He wanted to touch himself so badly but wanted to respect your desire to lead him to his high. You felt a bit bad for him for not giving him what he wanted. 

You finally left his thigh and readjusted yourself on your knees in front of him to look at his member for the first time. This position always seemed kind of intimidating to you, often feeling powerless kneeling in front of a man’s fully erected pride. But right now not so much as all the tension in Jimin’s body was the result of all of your work on the rest of his body. Your smile was held as proud as his red, already leaking cock. When you blew some air on it, you thought that Jimin would come right away. His body jerked immediately forward, almost throwing you to the ground, his head violently coming back up to look at you with lustful eyes, his hair was all over the place. 

“Please, please, please…” he begged, a hand attaching with your hair to nudge you forward. 

You laughed slightly at his distressed state. You kissed his wrist to tell him that the teasing was over, feeling his alarming rapid pulse on your lips. His whole body was strangely relaxed under you for a second when your leaned forward to take a first lip on the head of his cock, tasting the precum that was leaking. Jimin let out strangled noises, you were not sure if they were just moans or if he wanted to tell you something. You took the base of his dick in your hand to make it more comfortable for you before engulfing as much of him in your mouth as you could. Jimin thrust his hip at the same time, not able to control himself any longer under the long awaited pleasure you were giving him. His hand in your hair orienting your head so you could fit more of him in your mouth. 

“More, more!” he chanted, head thrown back again. You tried not to gag as you took him down again, coating his member with saliva to ease the sliding in your mouth. Your hand latched on his cock was pumping the part that couldn’t fit in your mouth. You did your best to instaure a rhythm that was pleasurable for him, twirling your tongue on the head of his cock every time it slid outside of your mouth. It seemed that your were doing a pretty great job hearing the words and loud moans of encouragement coming from Jimin’s mouth, his hand still firm in your hair. 

“I’m close.” he announced breathlessly as the thrusts of his hips became erratic, even though he was doing his best not to be too rough on your mouth. You hummed on his cock in response, feeling it twitched inside your mouth. A few more licks, thrusts and moans, and he was coming on your tongue and down your throat, surprising you a bit as you had never let him do that before. You swallowed his cum as best as you could while he rode out his orgasm in your mouth, his hand keeping your head steady. 

He then let go of your hair while your mouth let go of his softening sex. You admired the heavy breathing and sweating masterpiece that you made, completely satisfied with your work. You ignore the aching and wetness of your core which went unnoticed until now. You rose tiredly on your feet, your knees hurting a bit, and sat back down on your original place beside Jimin. You nestled your head on his shoulder, one hand back on his nape, the other caressing his chest to soothe his panting breathing. 

“That was incredible.” Jimin complimented in a sigh, finally coming down from his high, making you smile shyly. He kissed your jaw lovingly several times to apologize for the uncontrolled thrusts of his hips. He held you close to his chest with an arm around your waist. “I can’t wait to see more of you in charge.”

“Really?” you asked sincerely concerned about your performance. 

“Definitely.” Jimin replied with certainty and a warm smile. “How many days left?” he asked as he tapped your lower belly gently.

“Three, why?”

“Okay, in three days I’m making it up to you.” Jimin assured before leaving small kisses on the top of your head. “I didn’t know you had a thing for biting though.” he added after a pause, the smirk evident on his voice.

“Are you blaming me? Your skin tastes just too good.” You nuzzled further into the crook of his neck as you traced the purple stain below his navel. “And I love your tummy.”

Jimin giggled as your soft touch drew new goosebumps on his bare skin. He grabbed the plaid that was hanging on the other side of the couch to cover you both, his attention going back to the TV, that stayed on the whole time completely ignored, while he started to draw random patterns with his fingers on your hip. 

“That looks like the sequel of the other film.” Jimin explained.

“What was the other film about?”

“Don’t really know, I started thinking about you and, you know, you decided to lick me up and down as if I was some sort of ice cream.” 

“Stop it, you loved it.” you cooed after hitting him playfully on the chest. 

Jimin bit his lips not to talk, settling for a simple smile instead. Three little words threatening to come out of his mouth but he couldn’t brace himself to spell them, not quite yet.

[imagine-your-kh]

✬ I’m Back ! ✬

Oh gosh, it took way more time than what I expected, I’m sorry.

Okay, I have a few things to say, so let’s dive in... !

It will be open this Sunday ! Please check the Rules before sending any !

I will try to use a countdown that will be linked in the post to show how much time is left... ! This will be a test to see how it goes, you’re free to tell me if you like this idea or not... !

I will try a few things, slowly, so if it doesn’t please you, don’t be scared to speak out... !

Like I said before, I will try a countdown system for the MatchUp when it’s open. For now I’m hesitating between 24 hours of open MatchUp or more; we’ll see Sunday. I don’t know if it will stay or not, if I won’t need to close the MatchUp before the end of the countdown or something, depending how the test goes... !

I will try a few things for the design of the blog : changing the Pages of the Global HC (relationship and nsfw), some pictures, the divider, ... I want changes. So don’t be surprise if you notice a few things here and there in the following month(s) ! Again, don’t be scared to give your opinion.

I remembered there was a Chrome extension to change the y/n by your name. I always tried to avoid these ‘code’ because it break the flow of the text to me, but are you interested by more “y/n” to play with Chrome’s add-ons ? I wanted to try the html code to make it possible on my blog (without add-on), but it’s annoying to me to add it in my post everytime and breaking the formatting (that the new design of Tumblr make me upset already). If you know a Firefox version of it, please tell me... !

Long story short : I got little problem after little problem after my huge surgery in August. Next week there will be the (normally) last fix...

On the top of that, we learned that my mother has leukemia. She’s actually on the hospital. She got better and better now, but there were some bad time.

Now if you want the long story, it’s under the cut

It ended that she was waking up late, came in the sofa waiting for the energy to kick in and... It didn’t. She was sleeping all day long in the sofa or in her bed. 

My father and I insisted for her to see a doctor, but she hates it, tries to avoid medicines, and she had a very very strong contradictory mind.

She did, the doctor taking blood.

Leukemia.

Since then, she’s at the hospital.

My father and I were left alone in the house and let me tell you a few (shameful) things :

- My mom was taking care of the house mostly on her own. I was helping her here and there, but not much because she wasn’t pleased how I was doing it, the result, “I can do it” or as kindness to give me peace. With the fact she has a very strong contradictory mind, she also become very aggressive when we insist. I grew up with her, my fear of conflict probably came from this, but in any case I never insisted because I didn’t wanted to fight for something so trivial and using energy for a fight I would never win in the end. So what happened when my mom goes to the hospital? I became the housewife. In a house that isn’t organized in my way (fun fact : it’s organized “where I found place” word my mother) and that I can’t reorganized like I want because my mother will come back, of course. But there weren’t just about that, she was also taking care of the papers. The food. The first weeks my father and I were just running everywhere to know where the papers were, what we needed to take care of (my mother knew when she needed to sent papers and wasn’t telling to us so we got a few surprises for example) and the freaking food. I’m ashamed that we ended to throw food away because we were trying to cook what we had, but a few elements were supposed to make a (complicated for us) meal or that we thought we were out of and it wasn’t. This running in circle for weeks was stressful and I ended to do the most. And guess what? I ended at the hospital because I had pushed my limits and got a infection on the result of my surgery. At that time, I had a few request in Queue but I just hadn’t time to write one to add in the Queue. It was stressful to see the number approaching zero but I couldn’t write. When I finally got time in the end of the day I wanted to relax.

- My mother was the mediator between my father and I. Left alone in a stressful situation where I was thinking “I can do it, I can try, let me do it, I’m right” and where he was thinking “you can’t do it, don’t try because you’ll fail, I’m right” it was inevitable that at some point we ended to scream at each other. My father is really affected by my mother’s situation. I had more than one depression in my life. I couldn’t have one right now. I became the support of my father, reassuring him, trying to stay positive, I couldn’t have a depression. I just couldn’t. It’s hard to fight ourselves and supporting someone else at the same time. I could have tried to see the “psychologist” of the hospital, but I have the bad habit to keep everything inside.

-Next to all of this, I was trying to resurrect my Discord Server. I’m not a leader, I try to make everyone happy even if I know it’s impossible, I still tried. Trying to please everyone displease everyone and I was open to make just a little change, not enough. We were something like 30 persons on it, a “fight” happened before between me and the Mods (long story that could be resumed as : lack of communication and I panicked), I asked who wanted to join the Mods to be sure that they were motivated, I reworked the Server.. I won’t enter in the detail of what it was because I don’t want to enter again in the debate, but a few people weren’t happy about a situation. I tried to mediate but the persons wanted just it to be gone from their view so left the Server, and I didn’t wanted to get rid of it because I wasn’t seeing the wrong of it. In the end of the journey, it was 1a.m in my timezone when a friend that was on the Server and left because of it wanted to talk about it with me and it ended in a fight because their anger grew more and more that I wasn’t understanding how wrong it was (supposed to be). When they started to use capital, very upset, it clicked in my mind that this situation was stressful, making me sick and anxious... For a Sever that was already dying. And I couldn’t afford at that time with my mother to have a drop of mood. So I chose my IRL life and abandoned the Server in a rush, something that was in my mind since the first “fight”. It took me a full month to lose all the habits I got from a year to be on the Server. I miss to see all the OCs, all the news and ideas of my friends and people. I miss to not just drop a fanart in it, knowing it will please people without having to come in private and be scared to bother. I don’t miss to be glued on my phone every minute to be sure that nothing wrong was happening on the Server and be on charge. Be a leader isn’t for me.

I just couldn’t bring myself to write for the blog. When I had time, I just wanted to relax and doing nothing. For a long time I didn’t even draw. I love seeing your reactions, reading your ideas, interacting with you, but English isn’t my first language. I’m learning with this blog. I check less and less my translator, but this is still more difficult for me to write a request than what @lucky0stars​ can do. I’m also a procrastinator, I never was so productive before, but it’s because I’m “forcing” myself to focus. When everything is alright, I still end sometime to slap myself because “dude, you need to write your request. Do at least one”. So you can imagine that in the situation where I’m right now... It just blocked.

So I announced the break, without knowing when it will be done.

A few things happened (like my mother who had a few weeks in an artificial coma) that you don’t need to know, but it seem to calm down. I’m slowly coming back.

I’m here now.

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 10)

A/N: I am so sorry that I have not been on for a full week. The phone I had used to edit this in broke and I had to buy a new one plus this is the last chapter and apparently the longest, regardless of my recent claims of the previous ones being the longest lmao. I hope this won't disappoint, I couldn't think of a more consistent flow due to the days I've been without my phone to type some ideas in. I hope you guys will enjoy this last part anyway, and thank you so much for supporting this entire series! I have a new series in mind but it's a WIP. Thanks again for all the love! IMPORTANT NOTE: I WILL BE CUTTING A PART IN THIS CHAPTER AND PUTTING IT UNDER A PART 10.1 IMMEDIATELY AFTER I POST THIS FOR THE SAKE OF THE LIMIT. TAGS WILL BE MENTIONED IN THE COMMENTS

Summary for this part: A wedding brought you apart and it will be a wedding that will bring you back together.

Warnings: A good balance of fluff and angst, mention of injuries and alcohol and some long ass writing.

WC: A whopping 10k

Parts: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

You are painfully a feet away from the door and yet here you are, frozen after having turned 180 degrees only to stumble upon those eyes you had hoped to gaze into again. One swallow from you and you begin gliding along the tiled surface towards him, checking through every pad whether or not he's really awake.

After stopping at his side, you are now certain you're not anywhere close to dreaming. "Ben?" His name leaving your lips like an answered prayer. He's staring back at you with his left eye half-open – taking into account his current sensitivity to light– but with the same energy he exudes everytime you're together.

His chapped lips curl into a smile so slow yet so sweet at the same time; almost an upgrade to his classic 'Benny beam' which you had fun dubbing back in the days. "Y/N..."

And once again, you disrupt the orderly function of your tears and let them gush down, quickly but carefully wrapping your arms around him in bittersweet joy, exclaiming his name thrice into his hospital gown. "You...you bloody idiot! I thought you'd never wake up..."

Having just woken up from a coma, his voice comes out extra breathy and brittle but full of life, chuckling at how you're greeting him back into the conscious world. "Is that...is that how you welcome your best mate back?"

You shake your head ardently, sniffling against his chest and taking in the scent of mint. "Shut up. You frightened us!"

He really wakes up seconds before the clock strikes 'it's too late'. The convenience is hardly believable.

"I'm gonna call the doctor and tell him you're up." You act swiftly on your feet but a grip as strong as you least expected it to be hinders you from taking a step away and you turn around at Ben who's woven his fingers around yours. You give him a concerned yet quizzical look for it.

He sighs deeply, closing his logy eyes for a brief moment before opening them to you– gazing up at you meaningfully as he draws you close with the little, physical strength he has left. "You frightened me, rather."

"What... are you talking about?"

You won't admit it now but the way his fingers are currently snaked around yours could make your heart palpitate any second now.

His green eyes bore into yours effectively, suddenly invalidating your surroundings and making it seem like it's just you and him on the face of the entire planet.

He struggles to swallow before repeating. "You frightened me. You're still leaving..."

His voice crack as he said 'leaving' obliterates the fragments of what was once your soul, punching a gaping hole as a replacement. How is he able to remember your emotional outburst at the after party when he has just woken up and should at least forget a few details?

But then you realize you've been talking to him a lot as he was out of order.

You nod unfortunately, laying your hand on his which is still fondling your other one. His skin has warmed up a notch and that's a progress. You need to clarify this to him again since the last time you did, you both ended up in  disarray and in the middle of the road.

"I...I've already told you everything."

"I don't wanna- I don't wanna lose you."

"Ben..." You cut off as your hopeless gazes meet like lightning, his irises  darkening at the manner in which your eyes have transfixed on his.

"Please..."

Worried that his stable condition might shift due to the rising agitation he's showing, you sit beside him and bring his knuckles up to your lips, hearing the beeping of the heart monitor quicken which sounds incredibly alarming, an indication that his heart rate has elevated due to his induced stress.

You press your lips into his pale knuckles with your eyes thoroughly shut hoping to soothe him through it, tears trickling from your cheeks and onto the back of his hand as you choke on your words. "Ben...come on. You know I can't stay, you have to understand that."

He slowly shakes his head, biting his bottom lip as he grimaces at the bitterness, softly but agonizingly begging for you to reconsider. "You have to. Please, love. I need you to. I want you to."

Do the short term effects include stubbornness? Cause he's really determined to get you to stay no matter what. Joe must be tortured with waiting by now and at any given moment, he's bound to consider barging in.

You kind of hope he would. God, you should be out there notifying his attending physician about his regained consciousness and for goodness sake, Rosy ought to be here for this. She can't just wander out whenever she likes when her fiance's an injured man struggling to recover.

While keeping his trembling knuckles close to your lips, you move closer and question him, your voice downsizing to an unsteady whisper. "Why? Ben, I'm leaving primarily to pursue a career. Not just because of some heartbreak, this is a dream come true. I'm finally a stair close to reaching it. Why aren't you at least happy for me?"

"I am..."

"Then you have to let me go."

"It's not that easy..."

"Do you think it's any more easier for me? No! But this is what must be and you have to trust me on this," it's as if your heart is in your mouth from feeling so harrowed by all of this, but you have to make him see that this is the only way and that it is also important that you leave, "I'm sorry if I said some things that night that weren't exactly the way I felt. But I have to leave. You're getting married to Rosy soon, you know. Don't worry about me..."

He wishes he could just sit up with ease and cage you in his arms but all his incapacities at the moment are inhibiting him from doing so. Knowing he can't do anything about it emotionally deflates him.

He withdraws his hand a little and presses it to your flushed cheek, kneading your delicate skin as he shakes his head gently to prevent the dressing around his head from becoming less taut.

"I think I know well enough who I want to marry now..."

You can't distinguish what present beating has accelerated; the heart monitor's, your own heart, or at best both. But you're sure as hell his words weren't a product of your own imagination, your eyes drifting from one of his orbs to the other in a daze, looking for any sign that would prove that it's not you he's directed it at but it does otherwise.

"What are you saying?"

The skin of the front of his neck moves along as he swallows dryly to assure you the realness of his words, his thumb traveling up your face to wipe  the moist corner of your eye. "I'm a bloody wanker for taking so long to see...that you're the one who has always kept me grounded, who has always made me feel more like myself. Even as far as making me feel like I don't need all this fame to lead a good life, " his breath shortens between each sentence and your jaw goes slack as he exploits the atmosphere to continue, eyes buried deep into yours as if the space in between doesn't even matter anymore.

"I'm an idiot...for not realising sooner that it's always been you."

"Ben-"

"I love you too, Y/N L/N, more than the way I used to. How could I ever be happy without you? We promised neither of us is going anywhere, right? "

Definitely not in the context of mere friendship. For a moment, you make it your quest to find your voice to react and you do.

"You can't. You can't- I mean, what about Rosy? Surely your feelings for her wouldn't just go away like that-"

"It's been doused for so long with the ones for you growing," he's thumb is now gingerly stroking circles on your cheek, the green in his eyes gleaming, "that dance at the after party put me in my place and I asked you if you were still coming to my wedding because...it was my way of telling you how I felt at that moment."

Despite the idea coming off a little incoherent, you immediately get the bottom line. It would've been like coming to your own wedding. You study his gaze confusingly before coming to believe that he actually does love you back in the way you always have.

The words have been built up from the moment he whipped out his share of the polaroid and reestablished his promise as the way he felt towards you took a dramatic turn.

Yet no matter how badly you want to stay and finally work some things out with him, he's engaged and you're leaving in 45 minutes.

And what of Rosy? Hopefully Ben wouldn't think of just fragmenting her like that.

Your deafening silence puts Ben under a heap of worry as he painfully anticipates for your reaction. You shake your head at the unlikelihood of your present situations, bringing your eyes shut as you respond in the only way you can without any words needed to express how sorry you are and how much you've waited for him to say it.

Against your better judgement, you lean your body towards him and catch him off guard with the most bittersweet, goodbye kiss anyone could ever exercise on a moment's notice.

You can tell his positive response with how rapid the heart monitor pulses are becoming and how his lips have begun moving passionately against yours.

His eyes flutter shut in return, tangling his fingers in your hair as he dares to deepen the kiss, eager to feel every inch of your lips as he knows that you still won't be staying after this.

Wait for me to come home...

You pull away catching your breaths as you rest your forehead on his, his hand stroking the back of your hair for the little time you have left in your hands.

This feels so wrong yet so right at the same time. Howbeit strong the desire to stay put, you break away before the spark between either of you becomes magnetizing enough to change your mind.

"Please tell me where you're going...please." He pleads yet you refuse to tell him where you're headed to avoid a fuss, shaking your head apologetically with the space between you both increasing.

"I'm so sorry." You whisper, retreating quickly to the door as you ignore his broken pleas and just in time to be welcomed by the doctor, Rosy and some nurses who are here to conduct another assessment. Your pulse picks up at the sight of an uneasy Rosy along with an extra glimpse of a tuft of red and a head of blonde hair overtopping from behind her, eager to check up on whatever is occurring.

Joe and Lucy.

You clear your throat as you utter quickly to the doctor, unable to set your gaze steady. "He's awake." Your update stirs them to hasten on their steps inwards and you don't bother to stop to give Rosy a glance as she brushes by you, with you feeling the slightest, if not an immense amount of guilt for kissing her fiance– your best friend, who now has to make a troubling choice in choosing between you and her. Most importantly, you wouldn't dare to contend with Rosy over this, you'd rather let it happen naturally and see where it would lead but that's the least of your priorities.

You've whizzed a meter past Joe and Lucy but freeze in your spot at Joe's frail call of your name, your shoulders relaxing after a brief pause. "Y/N...how did- how did it go?"

You remain static in your spot, just wanting to leave the building and basically see past everything.

"Let's just go."

Of course he and Lucy half expected your last conversation to be balanced on a scale of nonchalant to vehement but it went off the boundary of vehemence. With one more look at the closed door, the two catch up with you on your way out with a plan on revisiting Ben on their way back from the airport.

You lengthen the sleeve of your sweater and dab your eyes with it, striding towards the car and slipping into passenger's seat gracefully with the two trailing from behind. Once they climb in after you, they begin bombarding you with questions you'd expect them to drop but being so exhausted from all of drama just lessens your likelihood of elaborating your answers. With a few questions dismissed, you ask Joe to just step on it and he complies sadly.

Lucy gives you a sympathetic, lopsided smile and however stagnant your expression is at the moment, you return the favor as the car accelerates on the road ahead.

You bother to give the distancing hospital one last look; giving him one last look.

At the same time the doctors are asking Ben some questions and performing a few physical tests on him, you make it to the airport with some time to spare. Joe and Lucy accompany you into the waiting area agreeing to stick around just until your flight number is announced.

Propping your luggage bag against a vacant seat next to the ones Joe and Lucy are seated on, you dig through your pocket and pull your phone out to check if there are any calls you've slept on. So far nothing of the sort but a dozen texts from friends and acquaintances wishing you the best on your flight to Spain, though you still have to return to London to collect your essentials.

Their words coax a small smile on your lips and after pressing the button to your home screen, the wallpaper brings a small tear to your eye– you and Ben with your arms wrapped around each other beaming goofily at the shutter of the camera.

In this instance, you begin wondering why photos and pictures

have become such a recurring emblem in your friendship. Joe and Lucy notice the sadness spring out of your eyes and cloud your features as you gaze one last time at your phone, and they instantly figure out what you were looking at. Lucy gets up and turns you around softly by the shoulder, prompting you to talk it out to them prior to leaving. If it unloads the stresses you're under then you agree to it, telling them what went on inside the room not too long ago.

Upon mentioning the bit where Ben confessed to you and was insistent on not letting you leave, Joe breathes out a firm, "I knew it" and Lucy shakes her head incredulously at Ben's 'perfect' timing but overall they're both glad he's opened his eyes– in a metaphorical and physical sense– to the person who has always been worthy of that spot in his life. As your conversation comes to a close, the announcement of the boarding of your flight number limits your bittersweet goodbyes however you do promise that you'll call them as soon as you touchdown.

"You better do well out there! Don't forget to call us every once in a while. Or everyday, damn it!" Joe calls out after blowing multiple kisses to you, he and Lucy bidding you an effective farewell.  You wave back at them with a reassuring grin before disappearing into the crowd of bustling passengers, huffing sadly underneath your breath as you trail your finger smoothly across your bottom lip– where Ben had left his precious, goodbye mark for you. Something you ought to hold on to dearly for the moments you'll be missing out on.

Many months later

During your first day in the University of Barcelona, you could've sworn it was all but a dream and at any given moment you could've awakened; but it wasn't. It was right before your eyes and you were standing upon the solid concrete that held those opportunities. In the first days you were but a foreigner; merely wandering around the campus with your textbooks in hand making your journey to the lab and cafeteria a noble quest. Like your life depended on finding your way through every twist and turn on a day to day basis, asking fellow students where particular rooms were as you struggled to maintain good eye contact.

It was an everyday uphill battle for everyone.

However things have improved immensely in the following months, you have gained new friends in most of your classes, developed a good sense of direction around the campus and you've scored solid 90's in your classes which you thought would be bumpy the first time but attainable anyway through nights spent with ounces of coffee, extensive reading and episodes of academic agony.

Despite the pressures in your first year, you still keep in touch with your friends and family back home, especially with Joe and Lucy to whom you had once swore to always call. They're glad to know you've been at your peak in the past few months plus they wouldn't stop making a fuss about how much they miss you and long to have some sort of reunion once you decide to go back for a break. They've been well too– Joe's planning on producing a new movie although he's not certain with the details yet, Gwilym has talked to you as well and he's thriving with new projects which you were quick to congratulate him on and Lucy - oh, darling Lucy- apparently Rami had taken her out of the country again and popped the question out of nowhere just two months after you left.

Of course, when she told you the news the hot brew you had nearly swallowed came spewing out of your mouth in surprise thereby catching the attention of the people you were with at that time. But that was out of happiness too, she's invited you to her wedding –a few months after breaking to you the news of her engagement– which is to take place two weeks from now, something you're unfortunately unsure of attending since you are steadfast on getting heaps of classwork done.

But you promised to update her if ever you found an opening on that week to squeeze in a flight.

"Aren't you coming with us? They're waiting downstairs and it's our only night off this week. " Ava, your roommate and closest friend among the others, asks as she slips on her cardigan, ready to leave for a night out. You've got a book propped up in front of you and you were just getting immersed in the lines you've taken your eyes off of. "Er, it's kind of a cold night out. You girls have fun anyway."

"You sure?"

You nod, flipping your pen in your fingers. "Just bring me home a smoothie while you're at it."

"Get your butt off the chair and do it yourself!" She whines as she throws a nearby ball of cotton at you and you giggle lightheartedly, wishing her and the girls good luck as she heads out, shutting the door behind her.

You're just relieved they can communicate fluently with you or you never would've gotten around the city easily. Just as you begin turning your attention back to your book, you suddenly lose the interest to continue and just close it for the night, picking your phone up and tossing yourself on the bed with a small jounce as you land.

You shift on your spot as you check through your messages, emails, some posts from friends and whatnot to pass the hour, eventually noticing a message from an unknown number sent just earlier today. Curiosity peaks in you and you don't think twice before clicking on it to read.

You've changed your number weeks prior anyway so it could be from someone you know whose phone number you haven't asked for yet.

Hey, Y/N.

I know this is out of the blue but it's been a while since I've heard from you and in all honesty I didn't even bother to contact you the first time out of the assumption that you might have busied yourself a lot and don't have the time to check your phone. But I've become so worried then that I had to decide to ask you how you're doing. How you're holding up wherever you are. If you're not overworking yourself since you tend to do that a lot. I know it's been months since we've last talked to each other but I just miss you. I miss seeing you, having those late night conversations that got you late in the morning for work, hanging out and your voice. I kind of want to call you but you might be occupied and I don't wanna be a bit of a bother.

I miss you so much, love. Every single day. I'm trying to distract myself with the new project I've taken but you're just impossible to sleep on. When will you ever be back?

Why does the tone of the message seem familiar?

You reread along the last lines and your heart comes to a stop at one word that gives away the possible identity of the sender.

The lingering silence in the room making it possible for you to hear the elevated throbbing of your heart. It's been a while since he's slipped into your mind and even until now, the love you have for him is still flourishing wholly. Even when you had your mind set on your studies, your heart unknowingly had some other priorities.

So has he called things off with Rosy because if he hasn't yet, the tone of the message wouldn't come off as sincere as this.

That's a question you don't need answered for the meantime however you wonder how he was able to text you when you've pretty much changed your number.

You hope he's fully recovered from that head trauma though it's been nearly a year since that happened. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard, thinking about replying.

Hey. Ben if this is you, it's great to hear from you again.

Your eyes dart to the send button, taking a brief pause before hitting it and discarding your phone to the side at least hoping he wouldn't respond immediately because then it would lead to a conversation that might just turn awkward.

Never have you had an awkward talk with him so it's something you wouldn't want to acquaint yourself with.

You grab your pillow and press your cheek against it in uncertainty.

"Don't even start...thinking about him." You mumble groggily into the pillow and lay flat on your back as you begin wallowing in your own doubt, your eyes becoming droopy at every second spent on staring at the pale ceiling with your right arm and leg thrown over the pillow like you're never gonna let it go.

You never even considered seeing someone else because deep down, you still hoped for him. Though you had exchanged some stares and 'interactive' words with a few guys in your classes, none of them ever came or would ever come close to Ben.

- - - - - - -

This week's lab work gave your brain a mild whiplash with all the hustling you were required to do.

Every morning, you either had breakfast or not and it all depended on how early you had to be there. Provided that you had to take off in the early hours, you had to skip a good  bite nearly every morning; plus you were all being assessed closely by your professor and so a downshifted movement was every bit as unacceptable.

At least now that you had just gotten off from your last period you can reward yourself with some good Mediterannean food that should be the ultimate dinner of your night.

You and Ava are seated around a table laughing and enjoying each other's companies with your plates and glasses half-filled with leftovers after a quick chow down, but your attention is quickly divided as a text from Lucy surfaces. She's asked you about your availability next week and you ought to re-check your schedule for it. Once again upon pressing your home screen button you can't help but let a longing smile take form on your lips at your wallpaper and with you being oblivious to Ava noticing, to your demise, she takes a sly peek at what you're looking at and disrupt your train of thought.

"Who's that?" Ava asks with a cheeky grin to which you quickly recoil with your phone held loosely in your hand.

"Nothi- no-one. "

As nosy as she is tenacious, she swiftly

snatches your phone from your weak grip and dares to unlock it, the  wallpaper of you and Ben making her swoon in delight. "Y/N, how on Earth did you get Ben Hardy to hold you for a photo like this?" Squealing like a schoolgirl, Ava grills you with an inquisitive look. You've never bothered to tell her or any of your new found friends anything about your friendship with him and so now she thinks you're a fan who merely got luck in her favour for a picture.

If only she knew.

"I don't know? How'd you know it's him?" You speak up your mind, a fleeting blush crawling its way to your face.

" Bohemian Rhapsody was a hit, of course. Queen rocks and I was all for it," she gesticulates as a matter of fact and winks playfully, "and later on we were all for the cutie who played Roger Taylor."

You try your very best not to let a single squeak of laughter escape your lips as she begins drooling over him. What are the chances of her finding out, right? You would tell her about it and have her meet him however your situation is too dire to act in. Come to think of it, you haven't received a reply to your reply to his message. He could be juggling a lot in his hands at the moment, perhaps.

"Cutie. Yeah, he's cute. But the guy seems clumsy enough to drop your heart." Here you are throwing a sportive shade all the way from Barcelona.

As if she's taken a fake offense at your comment, Ava overdoes a gasp. "Is that how you say thanks?"

You respond with a one-shoulder shrug, your voice neutral to keep yourself from giving away the screams of your heart. "I'm just saying. What are we doing next week by the way?"

"As I've been told by Mr. Gomez, the school will be hosting an array of meetings with the BOD and so we're given a time off."

You blink thrice at her. "Seriously? Like a week?"

She forks a tapa from her plate and bites down on it, nodding at you. "Three days max." So you don't have the entire week off, but that's great. Given that you had told Lucy you'd update her about your availability during that time and now that you have a few days to spare, you're conditioned to go. You quickly get up from your chair and excuse yourself from Ava, making your way to the terrace to dial Lucy who you hope is reachable at the meantime.

"Hello?"

"Lucy, hey!"

"Y/N, thank goodness you called!"

"About my weekly update?" You bite down on your lip in excitement, swinging your leg back and forth aimlessly.

"What about it?"

"I'm free next week."

- - - - - - -

"And cut! Okay everyone, lunch break. We're not cleaning up the rubble yet so we'll leave it there for the next scene." At the sound of the clapperboard slamming, all stunts have been ceased until the next roll and the main actors retreat individually to their own trailers, one of which is Ben who is walking back within beads of sweat dripping from his forehead as a result of a car stunt he had to perform on set. He's glad he can finally swing his left arm with unbridled ease after disposing of the sling just two months back although he's left with a few scars; the primary one on his forehead from the trauma he had.

A PA hands him a bottle of water and he thanks her for the save, cracking the lid off and chugging away. He waves at his fellow co-stars before entering his trailer and slipping out of his sweaty shirt, dumping it on the edge of the bed.

He places the bottle on a coffee table and swipes his phone from his drawer, being welcomed by a heap ton of messages, one days older than the next. He scratches his head at the result of his constant business; not being able to find time to reply thereby impregnating his inbox with miscellaneous messages.

Three from Lucy which he is 'obligated' to check first and foremost. Ben's lips twitch to an uneven smirk as he reads her messages, amused that he's been invited to her wedding, along with other people.

He replies with a simple yet sincere, "Thanks, I'll mark it on my calendar" before proceeding to put his phone down on the bed. He sighs, taking out his wallet from his drawer and opening it to pick out something, the dual polaroid he's folded in catching his eye and all of his attention; and for a moment, his heart stops.

He pulls it out from its slot and unfolds it, the tape used to stick it together  crinkled but still an effective adhesive. Without taking his eyes off of the polaroids, he plops down on the edge of the bed and wipes his forehead, hiding the ridiculous smile he now has on his face behind his hand. The memory still does things to him apparently and he has never let go since the day you kissed him goodbye. He can still feel the touch of your lips linger on his and admittedly, he traces his finger across the spot every time you cross his mind. The things you had said to him while he was unconscious ultimately stuck in his mind and he just longs to hear your voice once more. There are multiple times he forgets that you're not around to vent to or watch a good game of rugby with or do whatever you used to do together, no matter the trouble.

Generally speaking, he just yearns to be with you.

On a side note, he had long called things off with Rosy, exactly a day after he had awakened. Of course, she didn't take it easy but he knew damn well who he loved.

A heavy sigh leaves Ben's lips as he lowers his head at the frustration he feels for never owning up to his feelings.

She probably has some other guy in her life now. What are my chances? He thinks dryly to himself. "Hey, Ben? Break is over." The assistant director knocks on his trailer door and he tells him that he'll be out in a few. Tucking the polaroids back into his wallet, he snags the fresh shirt that's been laid out on the sofa across him and pulls it on, combing his blond hair back with his fingers before heading out to get the day done without realizing that he has skipped your reply.

With the days leading up to Rami and Lucy's wedding, they have never been more busier about any other event in their entire lives. They've decided on a beach wedding and to hold the reception there as well. Lucy has made you one of her bridesmaids yet you declined at first because that would mean you would have to fly in early for a practice down the aisle but she's assured you that practice wouldn't be necessary. She has taken care of the dresses and such and all you need to do is just fly down to California, again, to attend. Speaking of dresses, you bought her a little wedding gift yourself. It's something small but it's bound to suit her look.

You've told Ava about the wedding– excluding essential details like whose wedding it is specifically– and she's a little disheartened that you wouldn't be around to hang out with for the week but you've reassured her that you won't be long; considering you'll also be reviewing for upcoming tests.

"Okay, so it's a beach wedding? Drastic times call for some drastic measures, chica!" She exclaims and throw her arms up in the air, springing out of her bed and rummaging through her wardrobe as you throw what you can into one, just one luggage bag.

She pulls out a black two-piece bikini from the drawers and upon beholding it, you feel your eyes burn to a crisp. "There won't be any swimming, as far as I'm concerned."

"You'll never know. Just toss this in, it might come in handy." You swear you saw a mischievous glint in her eye as she said that. You press your lips into a tentative, hard line before surrendering,  grabbing the pair from her and stuffing it in the unreachable depths of your luggage.

"Happy?" She nods vigorously and you sigh in defeat, zipping your bag close.

The day came and the jet lag is still real. You've flown in a day prior,  exactly the day of Lucy's bridal shower and well, a literal bone crushing hug welcomed you on your way into the arrival area. She looked really fresh and bloomy before you arrived but afterwards, it was a messy head of hair and a waste of makeup, not to give it a stretch but it was. She's shed a few tears from how long you've been gone and you couldn't help but shed a few yourself, awfully missing her and the rest.

She's prepped a hotel for all her bridesmaids to stay in and you had some thoughts on how much she's spent but it's her wedding so who are you to question? As she helps you settle in your room, she pauses and brings you in for another big hug.

"Aww, Luce." You chuckle over her shoulder, rubbing her back.

She snaps her eyes shut and hums. "Oh Y/N, I've missed you. We all have. I know we call a lot even from a distance but it's been so long since we've last seen each other."

You sigh heavily, still holding her close.

"LAX. Yeah. It's only been a year but it feels like forever," you pull away deliberately, hands still firm on her shoulders with a heartfelt gaze, "Congratulations, Luce. You and Rami better make wonderful babies."

She smacks your arm lightly as an appropriate response to your little tease. "Shut it. Tell me everything."

"Everything?"

"Yeah," she planks down on the edge of the duvet and crosses her legs, leaning her body forward, "how's Spain? How's the school? The agony? Been seeing someone?" The last bit catches you by surprise; as if she's emphasized the question enough for it to be the main thing you have to answer. You disregard it for a few seconds until she brings it up again. You turn to give her an incredulous brow lift, something she returns with a curious grin. "Are you seeing anyone?"

In your mind, she should know that you've only ever had one guy in your heart but knowing Lucy, she just wants to hear you say it yourself .

You huff underneath your breath, planting your hands on your hips as you perpend on saying the following. "Spain is amazing. School is both heaven and hell. The agony exists in every divot, and no, I'm not seeing anyone."

"That's good."

You glance sideways awkwardly. "Okay? Is what good?"

"Everything, except the agony part, especially the last."

"I'm not seeing anyone?" You repeat and she nods with a blossoming smile. You don't say anything else since it's obvious that she's keen on letting you talk about Ben but today's not the day that you do. It's the day before her wedding and every present air particle should be all about her.

"Regardless, Miss Boynton. This week is all about you so," you alter your stance and skip to your luggage bag, unzipping one compartment and pulling out your wedding gift for her, "it's not much but I figured this looks better if it's on you." You hand her the palm-sized object and she lets out a little gasp at what you got her. It's a hair comb adorned with two, white roses and pale rhinestones that glimmer under the spilling light.

Something that would upgrade her sun-kissed beauty on a clear day. You try it on her and step back to picture her with the full ensemble as she walks down the sandy aisle tomorrow. "Good lord, look at you all grown up." You pretend to tear up and she tilts her head back in a burst of laughter, walking to you with welcoming arms and green eyes that are nearly brimming with tears.

"Oh I love it, Y/N! I knew something was missing in the outfit but you've completed it. It's perfect." She mumbles happily against your shoulder and her contentment tickles your insides.

"I'm glad you like it."

After giving you a look of what you'll be wearing tomorrow and a few, friendly  introductions to the rest of the bridesmaids, the bridal shower is where everything is at. Ranging from colorful streamers to champagne to cake strippers, the latter putting you under uneasy situations when you just wished to enjoy your drink and your own space. At the same hour you're enjoying yourselves, on the other side of town is where Rami and the boys are on full swing with his bachelor's party. It has the same vibe, only without the strippers and streamers and constant belly-aching movement.

You just pray none of you will be waking up with hangovers at the hour you'll be fixing yourselves.

And indeed none of you have.

You've all waken up like ladies but clumsily as the realization of the time nudges you out of your beds. Ceremony starts at 9 and you're 5 hours early to ensure that everything progresses smoothly.

It's a condensed hustle within your separate rooms; the pattern of getting ready ever so similar. Shower, makeup, hair, dress, and retouch; all done in complete unison. With all the bridesmaids, including yourself, conditioned outfit-wise, you all gather in Lucy's room to assist in psyching her up for the big day. Her mom's in too to witness every precious second of seeing her daughter fly off on her own.

She's still in her robe but her hair and makeup have been beautifully done by one of her makeup artist friends. She's about to step into her gown, a sight the girls are just dying to see.

"Alright, Lucy. Let me just zip up the back." Says one of the girls who has helped with her makeup as Lucy stands confidently but nervously in front of the mirror, scanning her reflection. You fold your hands together in anticipation, gasping as she turns around slowly with the skirt of the gown gracefully following her turning motion. Her radiance could put the sun's to complete shame.

"Well, say something, girls." She prompts with a chuckle and as expected, it is followed by the uproarious squeal of everyone in the room including yourself. Rami is guaranteed to have his gaze super-glued to Lucy the moment she reveals herself. After having a dozen compliments shower her, you and the rest of the girls retreat outside to give her and her mother a time to talk. As you lean against the door frame, you fish out your phone from your purse and check your messages; coming across your reply to Ben which hasn't received another one from him yet.

You wipe off the downhearted smirk on your expression as the girls' murmurs increase as Lucy steps out holding a bouquet of flowers with her mom on her arm and the edge of her gown lifted by two assistants. She turns her head to find you and crooks her finger at you upon seeing you inclined against the frame, letting you walk by her side.

You notice she's sporting the gift you've given her and the sentimentality makes you want to tear up but in doing so would ruin your makeup and so you decide to save it for the kiss.

You lean in close to her and whisper in a flat but playful tone, your words making her giggle. "Rami's totally getting it."

"I'm not the only one who's getting it today." She winks at you and leaves you questioning what she meant. She made it sound like it's something you have to find out for yourself later on. The weather is fine and not as humid as you thought; the ideal atmosphere to marry under. The bridesmaids are to ride in a separate vehicle that will follow up behind the one Lucy and her mom will be taking. To say that your ride with the the girls to the resort turned out fun and noisy is an understatement; you couldn't be any more conscious about smudging your makeup as you busted your guts laughing at your topics. The driver had given you weirded out looks but you know he was just trying to feign a laugh. By the time you arrive at the resort, a gust of wind from the seaside welcomes you out and nearly messes up your hair though you've put it up in an elegant bun with your tendrils hanging loosely from the sides of your head. You traverse closely behind the rest of the girls and find the venue nearly packed with attendees in their most sophisticated dresses and suits. The altar is set meters away from the shoreline and a red carpet has been rolled out to serve as the aisle between lines of pillars decorated with tropical flowers. A gentle music piece is being played by a violinist and a cellist situated on the left side of the altar with waiters serving some four-seasoned refreshments for the guests to enjoy as they wait.

With all these people around, you can't help but wonder if either Joe or Gwilym made it. You haven't contacted Joe about arriving, given that you wanted to surprise him with your arrival. You peer down at your wristwatch and it's only an hour before the ceremony starts. Rami's nowhere to be seen and you badly want to congratulate him on this, but either way, he's probably attending to some other people and so you put that chance on hold.

As you had wished for yourself to be void of any mishaps today, you bumping into a tall figure as you turn around to walk away deters that possibility and mortifies you for a moment.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry-" You quickly apologize but cease as a familiar face meets your lifting gaze.

"What- Y/N?!"

"J-Joe?!"

"Y/N!"

"Joe!" After shamelessly screaming each other's names, you put no thought into the action of jumping into his arms for a tight hug. He's crushing you in one anyway. "Oh my g- what- when did you arrive, you little sneak? " He exclaims and lets you go for a split second, careful not to ruin your satin outfit. "You're going to murder me for this but yesterday."

His brows furrow in disbelief as his mouth hangs agape. "How dare you not tell me? I mean, I knew Lucy would invite you but...actually how dare you both for not telling me." He whines in a joking manner and you respond with a quick shrug. "Surprise, surprise."

"You sure did and wow," his eyes travel up and down your outfit and you click your tongue at him as he does, pointing your finger to your eyes that are aimlessly roving around his suit in the same manner. "Hey Mazzello, eyes here."

"Hypocrite, eyes here." He mimics your action mockingly and you take eye-rolling to the next level.

"Damn it Joe, I've missed you."

"Missed you too. Been a year but it feels like a decade and you look beautiful, by the way, in that outfit as a bridesmaid." He places his hand on your upper back and leads you into the lounging area that is close to the pool but not far from the event area.

"You don't look so bad yourself for a groomsman. "

"How'd you guess?"

"This is Rami's wedding. I'd know."

You got an hour to talk before you take your positions anyway so catching up would be vital. You settle down on the sofa and fit your talk into the time limit, telling each other about what went on in your lives for the past few months. A lot of interesting stuff has happened to Joe and he's absolutely lively as he talks about it however yours hasn't been much, just adaptation to a new environment and the academic agony. Your talk takes an interesting turn as Joe asks you a question related to something you haven't thought about for a few days.

"Since you're pretty much still on the market, you ever think about...you know."

Your brows crease at him. "What?"

"You know," he lifts his shoulder in a half shrug, "Ben."

"Oh." Is the only thing you can say. The answer is pretty clear, you do think about him but not on a daily basis. He comes across your mind when you've drifted off into oblivion with your thoughts or when something that may remind you of him catches your eye.

"Sometimes I guess. But not as deep as I used to."

"I know you miss him, Y/N, and he misses you too. Believe me, he tells me everytime he calls."

You cast him a short gaze but look back at your fingers, a little comforted by the thought and it motivates you to ask. "Is he still with Rosy?"

Joe scoffs, mildly amused and wholly relieved at the contrary. "That's the good news. He's broken things off with her long ago. Just a day after he regained consciousness."

"Really?" You won't admit it but part of you feels bad for her.

"Yeah and I'm not spoiling you the rest," he rises from his spot on the sofa and reaches out for your hand, pulling you up gracefully. "The thing's about to start." He gestures to the chairs that are beginning to get occupied by the people as the priest arrives. You walk back out alongside him, leaning in to ask out of curiosity. "What do you mean you won't spoil me the rest?"

"You'll see, now go skedaddle to Lucy. She needs her crew." He pats your shoulder with a crooked smile on and you sigh inwardly, waving at him as you divert paths; with you headed to where the rest of the bridesmaids and the bride herself are gathered.

"Gwilym! You're just on time." Spotting Gwilym making his way to join Sami – Rami's brother– at the front row of chairs on the right wing as one of the groomsmen, Joe greets him with a brief hug and takes his place next to him. Sami greets the two men as well, exchanging some remarks before being joined by Ben who had been caught in traffic on his way. "Benny!"

"Ben!"

"Hey, you guys! Am I late? Did I miss the vows?" He asks with a hint of irony as he takes the spot between Gwil and Joe, shaking hands with Sami at the same time. Not a minute longer they are joined by the remaining groomsmen and Rami who has finally garnered up the physical strength to stand on the altar without breaking a sweat.

"You got this, mate. Just don't look down. Your boutonniere looks nice if I might add." Gwilym simultaneously advises and compliments an already nervous Rami hoping to appease him yet earns a quick yet teasing smack from Joe for making a small joke out of the situation. To show them that he's actually better on every possible level, Rami stands tall and rests his hands on his front to exude that confidence and excitement of being minutes away from watching his soon-to-be Mrs. Malek grace the aisle with her presence.

The guests simmer down with their chatters as the first ones who will be walking down the aisle take their positions. The musicians stop playing as they wait for the cue to initiate the main piece in accordance with the first walk.

Among the ones that will be walking before Lucy's big entrance is you and though you'll be joined by your fellow bridesmaids, it somehow just quakes your nerves, tightening your grip around the small bouquet of flowers you've been given as a prop.

You can't understand why you're feeling nervous; you're not the one that's getting married but you just don't know why. The musicians are given the cue and they begin playing a familiar song, something contemporary but heart-achingly romantic.

"You okay?" Asks a fellow bridesmaid and you nod, telling her that you're a bit anxious. She reassures you with a smile and it unknots your tension. The guests and attendees turn their heads towards the threshold of the aisle and the sponsors begin walking down first. Next are some of their relatives, then you– the bridesmaids. There are at least seven of you and you come in fifth. As you begin sauntering down the aisle, you feel relaxed yet piercing eyes trail your movement yet you beg to differ and keep your head up with a mellow smile on your face as you keep your eyes ahead, your unsteady gaze fleeting from the altar and to the groomsmen seated at the front row of the right wing.

Your eyes land on Joe and Gwilym who start giving you bright beams as they notice you in an instant. If you weren't trying to walk sophisticatedly with all these people staring, you would let out the loudest, most awkward giggle. It's nice to see Gwilym again though. Just as you begin turning your unwavering attention away, you take a subtle double take at a certain pair of eyes that has found you long before you found them. You are meters away from reaching your end of the aisle and yet it seems as if you've only started walking with how the music has turned up and how you're exchanging astonished yet longing gapes with Ben who knows he is seconds away from exploding with who he's finally seeing. You're here as a bridesmaid for Lucy and yet ridiculously, you feel like the bride.

Of course he's here. Of course he's one of the groomsmen. Of course Lucy and Joe wouldn't tell you. Of course this is the thing Joe didn't want to spoil about. Why didn't you think about any of this earlier? It would've saved you the shock regardless of it being so obvious.

You gather the strength to break away from the trance you've put yourself in and stand next to the girls, using up all the willpower in your body to avoid risking a peek at the groomsmen– at one groomsman rather. It's the same struggle for Ben who is every bit as stubborn as the next person and does the contrary, going as far as tilting his head to one side just to cop a longer view of you, an action Joe notices and slaps his hand for. Ben winces a bit and gives Joe a questioning look for two reasons.

"Save it." Joe whispers flatly and yet Ben dismisses it and feels his breath hitch in his throat as the sight of you appeases his worries yet makes his heart run a mile. With the ring bearers and flower girls at the edge of their walk, everyone rises up at the reveal of Lucy. The music slows down to fit the pace of her walk with her mother by her side, her eyes finding Rami's and establishing a home in them. You glance at both of them and feel your heart inflate at how strong their love for each other is, something that usually only exists in novels and fiction. Lucy's eyes well with joyful tears as she reaches the altar and her mother finally surrenders her hand to Rami.

It's too much.

With you being too distracted by the spark between Rami and Lucy, you overlook Ben's unbreakable gaze at you. The moment you grew a smile, it invalidated everything else surrounding him.

The priest requests everyone to finally sit down and witness the lifetime commitment blossom. Throughout the ceremony, you can't help but feel his eyes sear through you yet you stand your ground and fix your gaze at the happenings on the altar, briefly failing every once in a while by finding yourself looking back at him. The moment has come for them to exchange their vows and you listen intently at every word sincerely uttered by the two. There are parts in their vows that make the people giggle and tear up at the emotion put into every word expressed. It seems surreal to you that the moment Rami tells Lucy that he's never going anywhere, your gaze meets Ben's and it becomes undeniably bewitching, Rami's words acting as a call back to your promises. As the rings are exchanged and the "I do's" are said, the priest pronounces them husband and wife and you tear your focus away from Ben just in time for Rami and Lucy to share their first kiss as a married couple. Cheers and applauds fill the air and even more tears of joy are shed at the start of their lifetime bond. They both couldn't look any more blissful, with the pair of them giddily flaunting their rings with grins so radiant and bright it undermines the power of the sun upon them.

The cheers and excitement continue at the reception which, of course, is hosted at the very same place. After the ceremony– you, the girls and Lucy took off to the rooms you've booked in the resort for the meantime to change into the appropriate apparel to match the vibe of the venue and even the venue itself. Rami and the boys drove back to their respective hotels to change as well and it was a bit hard for the newly weds to go their separate ways for a few hours just to change clothes. Now that you've all rejoined for the reception, lively doesn't even begin to cut it. It's just like any other wedding reception and like any other wedding reception, it's upbeat, smooth and a little haywire on the egdes. After going through with dinner and a couple of toasts and remarks about the funny side of Rami and Lucy's relationship, the dance floor is open for business. At first glance, the girls take you for someone who is in need of a lot acquainting with the dance floor and they're right; because of that they haul you in themselves and you end up enjoying moving around to the music. You decide to refreshen yourself with a glass of iced tea before returning to your fun. One gulp is all takes to replenish the energy lost and you turn around to head back but freeze in your spot at the sight of Joe with his hand out, asking you for a dance.

"Seriously?" You're not surprised but your brows shoot up in question.

"It's my way of saying 'I need to talk to you'. "

"We can do that outside." You gesture to the vacant space yet Joe insists that he dances with you as you talk. You purse your lips together, letting him take your hand and he pulls you along with him almost too abruptly, eliciting a ticklish squeal from you.

"Don't do that!" You whine as you both settle among the multitude of dancing people. He lowers his head in laughter and twirls you under his arm, drawing you close afterwards. You rest one hand on his shoulder as he holds up the other. "Where's the fun in talking outside now, huh?"

"Alright," you grin ridiculously, spotting Rami and Lucy in each other's arms as they slow dance near the mini stage, looking and feeling at one with the other. "Hey, doesn't it just warm you?" You poke Joe and gesture to the  newlyweds. He peers over at them and hums in a heartwarming way. "Yeah. Man, it's like they're communicating with each other merely through their close-knit heartbeats."

"Speaking of communication," you clear your throat and give him a direct look, " what did you want to talk about?"

He snaps out from gauging at the two and leads you on a gentle sway as he swallows, increasing the volume of his voice just loud enough to cut through the music and for you to hear. "Right. About the thing during the ceremony," you immediately catch on to what he's trying to say and interrupt his next words.

"Okay, thanks for implying, but are you kidding me? Giving me stroke by hiding Ben's attendance?"

"It was for dramatic effect," your eyes flatten puzzlingly at his defense. "What was so dramatic in that besides the awkward... staring?" You know the truth and it really wasn't awkward; in fact it felt like time dilated between you both.

Joe ping-pongs his gaze from one end of the place to the other and back to you. "You paused after 'awkward'. You liked it." The smile on his face teasing you. He's really that sensitive to the nuance of your voice, making it easier for him to figure out how you actually feel about anything.

You evade his prying look and clear your throat, trying to keep up with the transition of the rhythmic music to a slow tune. "So what if I did?" You mumble intentionally.

"Nothing bad. Just Ben wouldn't stop fidgeting in his spot after seeing you. He was this," he makes small jerky movements with his upper body as to imitate Ben's inability to keep still during the ceremony, "antsy and I was this close to losing it."

You snort as you let an explosive laugh overcome you, recollecting yourself shortly as you are flattered by Joe's report. "I felt the same. It took every cell in my body to prevent myself from launching at him honestly."

"I'm glad we sat in separate tables or else neither of you would function like regular...human beings." The grin on Joe's face fades in the same manner as his last words, staring off at a figure approaching from behind you. He regains his voice in a matter of seconds, only with a sly twinkle in his eyes this time.

"You okay?" You ask him, slowly removing your hand from his chest and he nods vigorously, taking position to whirl you off but with a sneaky twist.

"I'm fine. Just... Gwilym wants to dance with you and he's right behind you so I'm going to spin you off to him, sound good?" He lifts your arm up and you shrug in agreement, going with what Joe's planning to do.

"Ally oop!" He twirls you around and releases your hand just in time for you to cling onto a firm frame, giggling at the rush you felt. "Hey Gwil! Good catch, that was a strong spin-" You take a hard pause the second you lift your eyes up with the expectation of meeting Gwilym's sapphire blues, greeting a pair of forest, green orbs instead and it becomes more than what you've bargained for. His veiny arms have caught you with ease and you're sinking, both literally and metaphorically, your arms awkwardly thrown over his shoulders for support.

He helps you regain your balance and smiles the smile you had craved to behold again, breathing out your name like he hasn't said it in a long time. "Y/N, hi."

You find your voice just in time to reply. "Ben...h-hi." He's looking quite good in an all white attire. His white dress shirt is tucked in and has three buttons undone, exposing a lot of his clavicle and a preview of his pecs and the way his white pants just hangs loosely around his legs– you've lost the proper words to describe the sight.

Joe, you crafty asshole.

[spazzbunn]

Thank You

The brown rabbit and the red panda couple were walking down the streets to explore the nightlife. Technically, they were out on their date. They have been having a lot of them lately. Going to places. Either somewhere new or most of the time some place they know of. No matter what, they always seemed to have the most fun. Spazzie looked over to his side to see his girlfriend, who was smiling and looking at the gorgeous lights the park and streets had setted up. This caused him to smile too. “This is pretty wonderful huh?” Spazzie questions Katrice and she nods and agrees with him. “Yeah! Thanks for walking with me. I know you didn’t have to do that.” Katrice says as the two were done having dinner in a restaurant for their date. “It’s no worries.” Spazzie was hearing what she was saying, but his mind was elsewhere. Thinking back to the days of when he wasn’t true to himself. The blue boy stage. Having to be lonely. Be scared of life. Feeling awful about himself. The smile on the rabbits face was starting to go down. Quickly, Katrice noticed. “You ok Spazzie?” The red panda said with worry as the rabbit just couldn’t lie to her “Honestly, I have been thinking lately about my past.” He shivers slightly. “God, I didn’t know I was that cringey. Why did you say yes to me being your boyfriend again?” He was able to get a chuckle out of her. “Because I love you for being you.” Katrice says as she holds his paw firmly as it causes him to slightly blush. He still can’t stop blushing when it comes to be romantic with her. She is just too special. “Heh. I remembered I used to talk to myself, practicing for when I was going to tell you my feelings towards you...yeah, it is weird, I know.” The rabbit really did fall for her. With that, he could see her ears perk up. “No no. I don’t think it’s weird. I just have one thing though.” She stops walking and the bunny stopping as well. “Well, I never asked this but, why did you fall in love with me?” Normally, Spazzie would be freaking out, sweating like bullets and having to be a nervous wreck with a question like that. This was a different Spazzie. He seemed more calmer, though his mind was racing and his heart was pounding hard like drums. “I fell in love with you for so many reasons.” He held her paws as he softly smiled and blushed. The same goes for Katrice. “Oh?” She said as he nodded and he was beginning to list them off. “You have such a lovely voice. Everytime I hear it, I go weak because of how soft and gentle you sound, which fits your personality well.” Katrice felt weak right now just from that. She did feel her voice felt ‘bleh’. But to Spazzie, it was like music to his ears. “You also are so caring towards mammals. Towards me.” “Well yeah.” Katrice says. “I just want to be nice and expect to be nice back. You have always been the most supportive towards me.” “Well I wanted to make you keep going with your future. To have you do whatever you want, and I would be there to support you every single step of the way.” Spazzie felt himself feeling bolder yet his heart beats were fast with the look of Katrice’s face showing that she could see and feel his chest pounding. “I also do love your talks. Either some anime or some art you and/or the Kit Kats made, you talking about it really interest me. I never get bored of our talks.” “Awwwee. So I really ain’t boring?” Katrice joked with Spazzie objecting that, only to add in the sweetness. “Your singing is really smooth like silk chocolate.” Spazz says from the heart that really got the red panda blushing and acting shy. “No no no. I ain’t that good.” Katrice tries hard to object yet the rabbit boyfriend of hers kept going. “It’s true. Every time you sing I stop everything just to listen. To hear your beautiful lovely angel like voice.” He felt himself going slightly closer to her. “I love it.” No other mammal complimented her singing except her parents. She felt warm and fuzzy inside knowing that her singing makes the bunny feel happy and good. “Thank you.” Katrice says to him. “Also...you are not like me.” He smiled softly. “I have been with mammals that were like me. Yet always ended in failure. You and I talk about different things, like different things, and yet I feel so happy and thrilled to talk to you about any topic you like or I like.” He scooted closer as if an unseen force was slowly pushing him forward. “You know.” Katrice adds in the conversation. “I kinda figured you had a crush on me.” “Oh really?” Spazzie groaned softly but still kept his smile. “It was that obvious huh?” “Well, we talk a lot, you always support me, you help me out with the kits and enjoy every single second with me and them. You even helped me with my drawings. So many times.” She chuckled from remembering. “Heck, didn’t you had an idea about a rabbit knight saving a princess red panda from the evil dragon?” “Hey that was something for the Kit Kats y-you know?” The rabbit felt his face flushed red from her remembering that crazy story idea as she laughed softly yet cutely. He always loved her laughs. Spazzie went on. “The point is, inside and out, you are beautiful the way you are.” He slightly gripped tightly on the paws of hers. “You sing like an angel, you look so beautiful and breathtaking, your talents are outstanding and your kind, caring, heartwarming personality is what brightens me up.” With in a quick second he letted go and wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close to him. She was slightly taller than him, but still he hugged her and felt a smile. “So thank you, for being the one mammal I trust my heart, my life, my whole reason for being happy with.” Spazzie felt a tear starting to drip from his closed eyes. “I love you. I always have loved you, and I will. I will never let go...and I know you wouldn’t either. Right?” Katrice could only hug him back with her smile growing wider. “I love you too. And I will never let go either. You make me happy too ya know? Like how you are always happy and ‘spazzing’ out when you get lovey dovey on me.” Her words made him nervous chuckle but smile as he blushed red. “You are everything to me.” He slightly lets go but faces her, still his arms wrapped around her. “I'm glad you are in my life Katrice.” “Oh Spazzie. I’m happy that you are happy. We are partners. We are best friends.” Katrice brings her face closer, their noises touching and lips barely close to form a kiss. “We are a loving couple that, when together, can take on the world if we wanted to. You and I...we are different mammals, we like different things, but our love is too strong and we understand each other. We both agree on things so we wouldn’t fight. No mammal would ever say that I was right. Only you...and we got each other now because of your sweetness and good heart” Spazzie was being a blushing dork now “We both are right about one thing...we got each other. And I am happy we are together. Truly happy.” “Really?” Katrice says, knowing full well he meant it. Spazz’s response was a soft small couple of kisses under the dark blue sky and the moon light. She happily accepted his sweet love filled kisses as she gave some back, holding closely as mammals passed by with some feeling happiness seeing love was spreading like wildfire to sweet adults like the rabbit and red panda. They slowly halt their kisses and took a couple of seconds of snuggling up against each other. Feeling their loving embrace that made their hearts mellow with ease and feel butterflies in their stomachs. “Please don’t leave me.” Spazzie says in almost a whisper. “I don’t want to feel alone again. Not when I feel happy waking up to your calls and texts. Please Katrice.” “I never would leave you. Not when you make me feel special and treat me better than any mammal could.” Katrice meant every single word of it. The two mammals did their kisses on the cheek to both brighten up their spirits as they started to go back to walking down the street, with the two having to agree to head back to Spazzie’s place to watch some movies on the couch and sleep on it together. “Sorry I said that...I just had that instinct you know? I had so many horrible relationships in the past...I want this to work, I want us to work. You are the only one who treats me right and makes me happy and make me feel energized and full of love when we spend time! And when-” Spazzie was ‘spazzing’ out again, but thankfully Katrice held his paw as he slowly came to a halt and took a breath before apologizing. “You are ok. I %100 percent know how you feel. I feel like that every time, every day, every second when we are together.” Katrice says to her rabbit as the two smiled and felt blissful. Peaceful because of love under the moon and stars. They were happy in their company. That was all that mattered to them. They were happy together in their relationship, and felt trusting, felt loving, felt joyful to each other. Katrice and Spazzie smiled throughout the whole night since that talk. Their jaws would hurt the next morning, but the night will forever be in their memories. Forever in the years of the future to come. (Katrice Russets belongs to @msitubeatz GIVE HER SOME GOODNESS AND LOVE! also a follow too) (ALSO Kazzie is a joke/wholesome ship)

[demiemdi]

Blog #08

February 24, 2020

I remember holding a plate of graham and sitting in an old wooden chair outside my aunt's house in Cavite, patiently waiting for 12 midnight 'cause it was New year's eve. Beside me was my niece playing with her nurse kit, passionately checking my pulse as if I was really her patient, and when she was in content, she raised her hands and asked for a high-five. I asked her to go inside so she can sleep and told her I'll wake her up when september ends, char, when it's already twelve. At first, she was hesitant, but as a tita of course, of course, HAHAHA I knew it was the time I'd act in character, lol. So she went inside wearing her "walang magawa look" and I laughed secretly. Okay, it was nice to do that sometimes. 😂

When I finally had some time alone outside the house, I reminisce previous events that happened, some were in detail, still. I couldn't forget. I remember people, their words, whisper, laughs and the way they looked at me. That time I was afraid I'd be involved in cases like that, I was never into fights, only that time, in the most impossible way I couldn't imagine. Of course, I was hurt for like years until I decided to let go of them. I told myself, I keep coming back in that memory, why don't I just delete them or forgive them instead, we were young, maybe it's not only me who had learned from that, but as well as those people who once turned their back at me. Hopefully.

But good thing about that, I have learned not to trust anyone that easy, like trust them simply because were friends? And were classmates? And I laugh with them? And we do make fun things in high school, so might as well trust them? No. I came to realize that maybe it's the reason why we have choices in life, to think in a broader sense, to see possibilities, the pros and cons, to weigh every other choices so we could somehow in some way forsee decisions we are about to make.

I have learned to say no. Honestly, there's no harm to disagree, I always believe that it's up to people how they interpret and understand your motives and reasons. You don't have to explain everytime, unless needed and must.

I have learned that trust is powerful as forgiveness is. Learning to adapt from sudden changes, accepting apology and forgiving them are the best things that we can reward ourselves. Freeing yourself from being chained in the past and not just forgetting, but forgiving yourself from your mistakes and what other people have done to you can replace the space in your heart that kept blank in the years you refuse to do so. For years, I cried everytime I remember them. The feeling of you cannot stand for yourself and prove people that whatever has been drawed against you is not what they must believe. I wanted to be heard that time, but my mom speaked for me, wilson stood by me too, Kuya jes also!! People whom I can always thank because they were there. They saved me in times when I find it hard to speak and fight. These people shall not be forgotten.

I fought hard to overcome that, what I am today is a proof. I had their names and faces in my head, but I freed them in the New year's eve. I was determined to forget and forgive that night, four years was enough, I'm setting myself free and that's a period.

People, I'm happy to say that I have let go of the idea of what people expect me to be. I have let go of the people who gave me a hard time sleeping and doing every actions I must do while I always ponder how they draw me as their antagonist inside a story I never did. I set myself free from all the pain it caused me, from everything that made me feel lost sometimes. I wish not to return how I was back then, but I wish to become stronger and braver this time. Someone who won't be afraid anymore, who can independently stand for herself and someone that is wiser and braver.

This is me telling that I have all let you go. It seems that I was the only one stuck and nobody was aware I was hurt up that day. I'm happy that you are all doing well in your studies and life. I really had a hard time talking to all of you because I feel like all along it was my fault, and I shouldn't speak to anyone of you anymore. I'm still happy to meet you in this life, the pain deeply taught me a lot of things. Thank you and I want you to know that I'm still here, I may not be the first person you'll run to, but I'm here and that's what I can offer to start over again. I'm looking forward to all of you in your graduating attires, all the best!

Love,

Demi

[the-umbrella-academy-ff]

Saving you

I’ll probably do a part 3 for The Family’s little secret, but I had an other idea and wanted to start it as well. Still a Klaus x Reader as I’m deeply in love with him at the moment. Taking place after Season 1. Have a nice reading :) 

Again. It was the same shit, all over again. His siblings – well, especially number 5 – rewinded the time and tried to save the whole world. They failed every single time.

Superheroes, my ass, Klaus thought.

The first rewind, they totally fucked up. They tried to hide everything from Vanya, killed Harold and ended with Vanya discovering everything and killing Luther and Diego before starting the Apocalypse. They rewinded and then, they discovered that, if they change something in the past, their memories could be altered. That broke Klaus’ heart. He had to go back and meet Dave everytime if he didn’t want to forget him. If he was completely honest, he’d say he was really happy to see him again. But then, he had to lose him again and again and there was nothing he could do about it. He tried though. He saved Dave’s life but history completely changed and the war didn’t even have the same issue, so his siblings got pretty mad at him and they rewinded, again.

The worst part maybe was they also had to see Ben die, again. When they did save him, he died the same way a few days later. As if his own power was ment to destroy him at some point.

Klaus was sick of it. He wanted everything to stop. He almost thought about letting the world down and just die peacefully. He just got out of rehab. He tried to stay sober the first two times, but he died both times because of some stupid accidents. Now he was literally depressed. Dad was dead -again-, everyone was back at the academy except for Vanya because they still weren’t sure what they had to do about her and they were all making some stupid plans, which, probably, won’t work.

He grabbed some money in his pants and ran to the drug dealer. Really, he didn’t even want to try anymore and it was as if he was supposed to be a complete mess anyway.

So be it, he thought.

When he was about to hand over the money though, something changed. Maybe it was the first time he took so much time to leave the rehab, so some events would probably be different now. Great. Someone he never saw before, grabbed his wrist.

“Don’t do that to yourself.”

He blinked. Why would someone he didn’t even know do that ? The drug dealer turned back to him.

“Is she causing you trouble ?”

Klaus was speechless for a second, you flashed a bright smile.

“I’m his cousin, and he made me a promise.”

The dealer waited for Klaus to say something. He waved it of.

“Er yeah, she’s totally my cousin. Dear cousin, what are you even doing here ? I’ve not seen you since Christmas ?”

“I was on a business trip. Let’s go.”

You dragged him away before he could react, not releasing his wrist. You didn’t know why either. You usually were too shy to interfere, but this time, when you saw that guy, you felt something weird. There were definitly some good vibes about him and you wanted to know why, which you couldn’t if the guy was high.

“Honey, I’m very flattered, but who are you ?”

You turned to him, realising that you kept walking without introducing yourself to the man you were dragging with you nor asking him who he was.

“Oh, sorry ! (Y/N). What’s your name ?”

“Klaus.” He hesitated for a second. Not sure if he should tell you his last name. It was kinda strange for him to have someone doing something to help him.

“I’m sorry. It’s not my business, really I know. But you still have that bracelet… Just got out of rehab ? I thought it was really dangerous for you to just start again right after leaving the center. I’m really sorry though.”

He felt a bit mad to be honest. He wanted to be high, badly. You were a stranger and couldn’t possibly know that he was living hell and just felt like he deserved to be able not to feel anything anymore. Then again, there was something special in this meeting and he was thinking about giving it a try. You just let go of his wrist and seemed a bit surprised.

“What ?”

“Do I…Have we already met ?”

Klaus was positive you hadn’t.

“I don’t think so. Doesn’t ring a bell. Or I don’t know, do you often go to parties ?”

Maybe he met you when he wasn’t really conscious ? You laughed a little bit.

“No, never. I’m not an outgoing person… Let’s say I don’t even leave my home more than necessary.”

“Oh. Then I guess not ! But nice to meet you. And where did you plan on taking me ? I mean, I won’t say no to anything and I like to be a little surprised but I need to be sure that you don’t intend to kill me in a dark alley. The world needs me !”

He winked, you blushed lightly.

“I just prevented you from taking drugs, you can already tell I don’t want to hurt you. But you got a point, I don’t know where we’re going. There’s a coffee shop down this road though, would you come with me ?”

The junkie shruged his shoulders. He was more than ready to try some new adventures. You seemed nice and he didn’t want to go back to the academy right now.

“Sure. Got nothing better to do at the moment. Wait, weren’t you outside for a reason ?”

“Oh yeah, right. I wanted to buy a few things, I don’t even have pasta anymore, can you believe that ? I might die this week ! But I can do that later.”

Klaus decided he likes you and since Ben seemed to agree with him, he liked you even more. You talked about anything and everything really. You didn’t even feel like a stranger to him. It was the most casual chat possible. You talked about your job and your passions and he told you a few stories about his love life and some events at the previous parties he went. To be honest, he didn’t want to tell you about the whole umbrella academy stuff. It was nice to talk about random stuff and not mention the whole “saving the world” thing.

He also appreciated the fact that you payed for his coffee, eventhough you obviously knew he had money – to buy drugs-. He made a mental note to do something for you in return. You started to get up, it made him realise he was a bit sad to leave you and not be sure wheter he would see you again. He wanted to ask you your number but didn’t know if you’d think he was some sort of creepy guy.

“I have to go now, but please don’t go buy this shit again. I can tell you’re better than that.”

“Alright, but I want a date.”

He didn’t know why the hell he saied that. He heard Ben caughing in the background. Worst way to ask for a date, for sure. He could tell you were surprised as well but you still gave him your phone.

“Give me your number, I’ll call you and we’ll see then.”

It took him 5 whole seconds to blink and realise you actually agreed.

“You’re serious ?”

“What ? You’re asking me out but don’t really want a yes as an answer ?”

He shook his head.

“Of course I wanted a yes, I just didn’t think it would work.”

He was glad to give you back your phone with his number in it though. Now it was your turn to make a move and call him. He didn’t know if he just wanted to chat or just hang out but spending time with you was nice and that was all that matters.

When he got back to the academy, Five was the first to say something.

“You’re not high and unusually happy. What happened ? Did you figure something out?”

“Nop. Nothing at all. Even forgot about all of you for a moment !”

“How’s that supposed to help ?”

“Never saied I was helping you, but I met someone.”

Five sighed and went back in his room, trying to find a way to include Vanya in their next family meeting and drop the news about her power without making her freak out like last time. She already started an Apocalypse just because she got scared once, they didn’t want that to happen again. Especially since it almost killed Five and then, it would have been game over for real.

Klaus expected to wait a few days before hearing about you again. He was wrong. He intended to take a nice bath to chill, took his phone to listen to some musics, play with the water and try to empty his mind but the phone started to ring. When he looked up, it was a number he never saw.

“Hi ?”

“Klaus !”

It made him happy that you called him right after the coffee. It did mean that you wanted to see him again just as much as he did, right ?

“I knew you couldn’t live without me anymore darling.”

“Aw. How’d you guess ?”

“I have this effect on people.”

“Then I’m lucky you picked up !”

“Indeed. What can I do for you ?”

“I’m working late monday and the day after. But is wednesday fine to hang out ?”

He was actually drawing with the bath bubbles and tried to think. He would be kidnapped in a week and will meet Dave, but he was free this wednesday. He could try to think about something else before all this shit goes down.

“Yeah, I’m in. Could we go to your place ? I don’t really have one myself and if we go outside…”

She cut him off.

“Don’t worry, that’s perfectly fine. I just neet to clean this mess…”

He laughed realising he didn’t picture her as messy at all. But you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover.

“Don’t make fun of me !”

“Oh I won’t. If there is embarassing stuff, you don’t have to hide it.”

You could almost hear his cheshire grin on the phone.

“Erm. There is actually a lot of papers on the ground and even on the bed. I write stories but my ideas come at the worst moment.”

“Oh really ? You’d let me read one ?”

“Mayyyyybe. We’ll see.”

He was curious. To be honest, reading wasn’t something he liked that much, but something told him he’d enjoy it if it was from you.

“Then I’ll see you wednesday yeah ?”

“Yes. Have a nice evening Klaus !”

“You too !”

Did he know, it was the beginning of a true friendship. Well, somehow, a part of him was telling him that he’d probably change history to know you better and it was worth it.

[tea-and-toblerones]

Unison  Chapter 13 - Better Love

Better Love- Steel Train

Hey, remember once upon a time when I used to write fan fics? Well, I finally finished the chapter. 

Here’s Chapter 11 and Chapter 12 for a refresher and if your brand spankin new, or just want to reread the whole damn thing, here’s the master list. 

Enjoy guys...sorry it took a forever and a year...

You would think sleep would overtake me quick and easy, with everything that had gone down. Yet here I laid, now wide awake, my mind racing. The fallout of tonight's events playing like a skipping disc, just bursts of memories. Drinking and laughing, dancing on the floor. The guys hands on my waist...wandering down...wandering down. I flung the heavy comforter off me, a small part of me wondering if it was the reason I was covered in sweat. Ed had grumbled a little as I eased out of bed. His face buried deeper in his pillow. His pillow. The thought had pulled me to a stop. My hand hovering over my doorknob, trying to think back to when I started lumping our stuff together. When I had started splitting stuff up into my stuff and his stuff. Which, seems innocent enough, but in this moment it seemed like a huge deal. 

I shook my head. I'm making too much out of it. I pushed the door open, the little whiny creak caused him to flop over. I used to hate that creak. When Nate or someone crashed on my couch, they'd wake me up everytime they would come in to use the bathroom. I was so adamant about the door remaining open. Until Ben. A lot of things had changed after that. I can almost draw a line in my life. BB and AB. Before Ben and After Ben. Ben....fucking Ben....

I scooped up the discarded trash and dirty dishes, depositing them in their proper receptacles. I pulled down a pot and began to make tea. Something normal after such a hectic night. Choosing a night time blend over my normal lemon and ginger. I hovered over the steam, breathing in the sweet, flowery scent. I scooped up the cup, and headed out on the fire escape. I let my legs dangle off the edge as I stared off, letting my thoughts run rampant. 

Tonight was a complete and utter shit show. I could shame starting to creep in as the shots wore off. I buried my hands in my face, like that would just wipe it away. It's true, I had been spending most of the night avoiding him. Hearing that he was an abusive stalker was quite a shock. Why hadn't he told me? That's important information to know going into a relationship. I pushed a sigh through my lips. I guess I'm just as guilty about withholding information from him as well. I felt the urge to go in, snag my shoes and go for a walk to clear my head. Deciding against it, I laid back with a huff, staring up at the sky trying to spot what few stars you could see in the city. The little voice in the back of my mind was telling me I jumped in too fast and I wasn't ready for all this yet.

I hadn't realised I fell asleep until I heard Ed's frantic voice above me. I slowly blinked my eyes open, his worried face coming into view. The sky was  streaked gold and pink, casting him in an ethereal glow. I groaned as I sat up, taking his hand to help me up. Every muscle felt stiff as I moved. Ed sat down beside me, his arm coming around my waist. His free hand stroking my hair. I expected him to bombard me with questions, yet he remained silent. Finally I broke the silence. 

"I'm sorry about last night. I should have just asked you about the allegations instead of distancing myself from you and seeing how you reacted. It was childish and if I hadn't been keeping my distance, that guy wouldn't have been able to do what he did."

His concerned expression morphed into one on anger. His brow had pulled down, his hand had froze in place. 

"It doesn't matter what was going on, he never should have done it period. It's not your fault. It's his," He seemed to deflate a little bit, "I'm also sorry. I acted like a child too. I should have told you about those allegations. I just...it wasn't true and I didn't want you thinking I was something I wasn't."

"Hiding it makes it seem like there's more to it than that...but I can't be too mad. I haven't shared everything with you."

"Well, let's fix that. I'll tell you everything. Everything about Allison, the fallout and the reason I'm on this break. I owe you that," He stopped, "No, I owe you more, but that's a start."

"Well, let's make some breakfast and get comfy. We don't need to add uncomfortable due to hunger."

We pitched ideas for a fabulous breakfast spread, both drooling over potential delicacies we could be eating. After 15 minutes of saying you know what sounds good...this...we settled for the high quality, four star meal of toaster strudels, because let's face it. We wanted the food, but neither one of us had the energy to cook said spread.  So we settled into the couch, still giggling over the attempt at stupid doodles that inevitably turned into a giant white puddle.

"Alright, I think I've procrastinated enough now..." He stated as he placed the plate down on the coffee table, "So I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you know next to nothing about me and Allison?"

"Erm...not next to nothing." I wiped the remaining frosting off my face, "I know nothing about Allison and you."

"Okay, then I'll just start from the beginning. Looking back I can see how stupid I was. How young and naive..." He shook his head, "I thought she was perfect, made specifically for me. I couldn't believe my luck. Well...she ended up being too good to be true."

"I know that feeling..." I muttered, then apologised about cutting him off. He waved his hand, taking a sip of water. 

"I met her at the market. She took the last bag of crisps and we ended up chatting a bit before going our separate ways. Ended up running into her a couple days later at my favorite take away place. Made a joke about it being fate and traded numbers so we could plan our next meeting. Took her to an upscale joint and had a typical first date, talked about typical first date things, but she did seem more interested in my touring and  career than my personal life. I didn't think much of it. Most people have questions and I don't mind telling some of my more wilder stories, which she really seemed to enjoy." 

I listened to him, focusing on the way his lips moved, the way his eyes looked. I thought back, about how I had asked about the places he had visited. Places I had dreamt about visiting. He had told me about some of the parties he had went to, but those hadn't really interested me. I never really saw the appeal of giant parties. 

"I just brushed it off as her just living vicariously through me. A lot of people like hearing those types of stories. She'd offhandedly mention how cool it would be to go to one and so, one night I decided to surprise her invited her along. I had expected her to be thrilled, it was all she talked about. Almost to the point of accusing me of being embarrassed of her. Instead, she got angry, saying I had to give her more than a day's notice because she had nothing nice enough to wear. No biggie I thought, so I took her shopping. Let her pick out some clothes, we had plenty of time before we had to be there. We went from store to store, and not to sound like the typical male but, I was getting both bored and frustrated. Every time I'd suggest something she'd get upset and accuse me of rushing her or wanting her to look bad. Finally, she had picked something out that was pretty pricey but at that point I didn't care, I was just ready to leave."

I watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed.  I could tell he was trying to get his story in order by the expression on his face. I sat in silence, my hand resting on his knee, in what I hoped he saw as comforting. He had just started but I could already tell she was no good. I know you're not supposed to make snap judgements of people but she really was coming off as a spoiled princess. It had me wondering what Ed had seen in her. He didn't strike me as the shallow type so it had to be more than a pretty face. 

"When we finally made it to the party, after she had to go home and put on what she called evening makeup." He gave me a little side eye, the corner of his mouth curling up, "I had asked her what was wrong with the makeup she was wearing because she looked gorgeous." He made a face, "Because Ed," His voice high and mimicky, "This is for day, I need a bolder look for night." He did an imaginary hair flip with a scoff. I couldn't help but chuckle. "Seriously though, I'm glad you're lower maintenance than that. Not that you're a slob, but you have more of an effortless beauty, y'know."

"Hey Ed?"

"Yeah?"

"I get what you're saying, you can stop."

He chuckled, "Right, well, We get there finally and we go our separate ways. Which I was cool with. I don't like feeling like a chaperone. So, the night goes on, a lot of drinks have been poured, a lot of joints passed and she's nowhere to be found. After searching the entire house, I find her out by the pool, in just her skivvies, waving around a bottle of booze. I had called for a ride back home and gather up all her shit and get her in the car, all while she's whinging about wanting to stay and party more. She eventually just passes out, I let her sleep it off on my couch and we continue like nothing's happened. This goes on for a couple months. Rehearsals and sound checks during the day, shows in the evening, partying at night."

"The non stop touring was starting to catch up with me. I was getting tired, I was missing home, missing my family and friends. I still had a whole leg of the tour left and I didn't know how, or even if, I was going to make it through." He paused and a somber look passed over his face, "I should have ended it with her when she first offered me molly, but I was lonely and she seemed to be the one that understood me. 'It'll help you get through, baby. You won't feel as worn down. It'll be fun.' Honestly, it didn't take a lot of persuading on her part." He let out a wry chuckle, "She knew I had an addictive personality. She did her research and she did it well. She knew I'd get hooked easy. She knew I'd get hooked on the feeling, the rush, but slowing it stopped working and I would just be numb. So she switched to coke. Line after line. It was all I could think about for months. She made it where I relied on her. Made it where I needed her."

"Stu tried to intervene, but I blew him off. I blew a lot of people off because of her. I almost lost everything. I gave her whatever she wanted since she supplied what I mistaken as happiness. I bought her so much stuff. A house, car, clothes, shoes, purses. I was stupid. So fucking stupid." 

I squeezed his knee, his hand coming over mine. "I've been through dark times before. Couch hopping, sleeping on bus benches. When I first moved to America, but I made it through. This was worse. I was always angry, I lashed out at everyone. Me and her always seemed to argue and after one huge fight, I told her to go back home to give each other space. I stopped partying, finally came to my senses and officially ended things with her. The withdrawals were awful. The body aches, the trembles, the night sweats. The physical stuff lasted a couple weeks, but the mental stuff..." He trailed off, " I wanted it for months. I wish I could say I kicked it completely but I switched to pain pills, I convinced myself that was better since my whole body hurt." 

"Then the public backlash began. I had managed to stay under the radar the entire time but when she went back home, she began telling the press that I was stalking her. That I was sending her unwanted gifts to try sway her. That when she found out I was an addict I tried to buy her silence but giving a house and car, but she 'Couldn't be bought' and that caused me to become violent. She was raking in even more cash by trashing my name. The tabloids loved it. I went from Music Superstar, to deranged druggie singer. My tour was over and I honestly thought it was the end of the road for good. Of course, like all scandals, it blew over and it was on to the next story."

"I wish I could blame it all on her but it was my choice and I have to live with it. I fell for her act. She pegged me right off the bat and it was my choice to stick with her. She was after me for my money and her fifteen minutes. She broke me. She broke my trust and not to sound dramatic, but she broke my soul."

I just sat in silence, trying to process everything. I didn't know what to say, it was just... a lot. I could just stare at him, his head bowed a little, his gaze directed at the floor. My heart hurt for him. I wrap my arm around his shoulders and pull him toward me. I began stroking his hair and he collapsed into me. 

"When's the last time you..." I trailed off timidly , not entirely sure I wanted to know the answer.

"I had some pills the day we fought and I thought it was over," he said quietly. The remorse dripping from his voice. 

"Ah..."  I had a feeling but I still felt my heart sink down into my stomach.

"I'm sorry...it seems like I just keep hurting you..." His voice cracked. I could tell he was close to tears. 

"I stand by what I said. I'll stay as long as you keep working on the underlying issues, but  I won't put up with you popping pills."

"I'm done with that part of my life. I choose you. I want you in my life. You make it so much better and I don't want to do anything that could jeopardize that."

He pushed himself up and looked at me for the first time since he started talking. I half expected his eyes to be red and puffy because it had sounded like he had been crying. Yet, they were the brightest blue I had yet to see, with a gleam behind them that I hadn't seen. He pressed his lips against my temple. 

"I just don't want you thinking I'm a magic cure, okay?"

"Of course you're not. I know it's going to be a lot of work. All relationships are, but you're worth the work Adi. I know there's gonna be hard times, but it's safe to say that the honeymoon phase is over. I'm willing to do the work and effort, the question is, are you?" 

I am? He just dropped a lot of information on me that I still haven't processed. Just how bad was his usauge? Do I really want to know? I mean, that was the past right and we don't live in the past. I kinda feel like that's naive thinking. Of course it impacts the present and future. I did say I would stand by him but how far am I willing to go? Where's the line? 

"Well...I do have concerns...I don't want to be responsible for your relapse if something would happen between us. That's a lot of pressure."

"It would be my choice if that was to happen. I know saying don't worry about it, isn't going to help. What I can say is, I'm getting to the root of the problem. I'm taking the steps help myself. I know things have went kinda fast and everything and that this break isn't going to last forever...but I just want that one special person that I can spend my life with. That enhances it. That makes my life better."

I just stare at him, causing his expression to turn sheepish. 

"And you think that's me?" I barely whisper 

"I think it could be you, yes."

"Wow..." I breathe. 

"Sorry, too much?" 

"Um...I guess I hadn't realised how much of a romantic you are and how much you thought about the future." I began picking at my nails, an old habit I had never been able to shake.

"You don't?"

"I think about the future, but...I guess I've been career oriented too long...I just been focused on that for so long..." The whole 'lumping our stuff together thoughts' crossed my mind again, "But...I could see us being together for a while..."

His face split into a grin, "We just had the where do you think we are in this relationship talk."

I nodded, "Yep, we did."

Ed blew a burst of air out of his lips, "Well, enough for all this seriousness. Let's go and do something fun."

I arch my eyebrow "You got something in mind?"

He smirked, holding out his hand, "Of course I got something in mind."

"Well, then after you." I said, taking his hand. A smile spreading across my face, pushing my fears to the back of my mind. 

I could see a future with us, but will that last when he goes back on the road? How much is going to change then?

[aimaileafy]

A decision

About the future of my drawings. 

Some weeks ago my mother and I had a conversation that left quite some impression on me. It started at our usual breakfast. 

Me: I need to go. I have to draw before work.

She: Why do you sound so down about that? Isn’t drawing enjoyable for you?

Me: Enjoyable? No. Not at all. Its endurement and pain that one does in order to see the final result. 

She: You didn’t used to think like that. Wasn’t drawing... fun for you? 

And there I realized it. Not that drawing isnt fun for me, I knew that since quite some time - but that it used to be different. There has been a time where I LIKED to draw. Where I thought about it as fun - and not as a duty.  

So when I looked back at all the pictures I did in the past year I understood what has happened... nearly every picture makes me down, outright depressed and sad. And I thought “Why? Why do I think so negative about those pictures I spend hours and hours on?” 

The answer is quite easy actually.

You know... back in time I drew what I wanted to draw and everybody where happy with the motives I’ve chosen to use my time and effort on. Four years ago my interests started to shift. I started to get interested in BL more then in NL, started to ship Nocturn and Youma; started Opus Magnum and Pianist. Many where not happy about that. They where so not happy about that that I got asked that I please go back to my old motives. I felt ashamed of what I liked and what I drew. I where sorry. Deeply sorry. I felt like a traitor. I made extra accounts for my new interessts so that nobody should be annoyed. I locked my passion and my feelings away as good as possible. The plan was, that I should just fill those accounts with my new passion and ideas: but it didn’t worked. I felt locked away and ashamed every time I dared to draw Youma and Nocturn. 

I told myself that I should only use my effort and my time on motives everybody would find enjoyable. So with every picture I worked on and uploaded I thought about making other people happy. All those pictures where like presents for other people... except that nobody seemed to care. Looking back on the pictures I drew in 2018 there are soooo many where I sat down and thought “Oh, this will make person x happy, because I added character y!” But no. Just no. I didnt happend. My present wasn’t.... making anybody happy.

And I dont think you realize that this present... is a sacrifice.

A sacrifice of my time. The time I could have used to draw something that is a present for me. Something that has no other purpose then making ME happy. I know that there are plenty of reasons to not react on a picture. No time for example. But I also dont have time! I work 37 hours and sometimes more just like everybody else does. I am really good at managing my time. I am good in negleting my bodies need for some relax-time. Sometimes I even take arguments in order so I can draw. For who? For You. 

Yes. For you.

Not for me. 

And yes, I did draw Glasshipping and Königsshipping the past year. But everytime I did I searched for some excuse that would “allow” me to draw my OTP. Like “Tekuu asked me” or... if I just couldnt take it anymore. I am a human. I am a fan just like you. I am also a Person that needs her OTP. And while all of you can just search on the internet for content and read fanfictions and find beautiful FanArts on Pixiv I cant. If I am in the need for my OTP I need to create something myself. But everytime I did I couldnt enjoy it. I stared at the pictures on the edge of tears, ashamed of myself, feeling like a traitor. I cannot count how often I have deleted tweets in which I expressed my sadness and frustration and yes... anger as well. 

And my anger rose. “Why am I doing this?” “For what!” “Noone is thanking me!” “Nobody cares!”

Do I hate my other characters? NO! No I freaking dont! Do I not care for them anymore? OF COURSE I DO! But every time I draw and I look at those pictures all I can think of is “Nobody will be happy again. Nobody will care. You did this for nothing.”

And I cant continue this anymore.

Guys, I am sorry, but I really cant. 

I want to go back to draw what I want. I want to enjoy drawing again. I want to smile while drawing. I dont want to feel ashamed. I dont want to be pissed at other persons. I dont want to suffer anymore. I dont want to cry on my Cintiq or my sketches. 

I used to love drawing so much. I want that back. 

I am not a professional. I am not getting paid for my work. I am not a slave. I am not a drawing-machine. 

I am sorry that I cannot deliver you a “good service”. That I cannot draw every character all the time. I am sorry that I wont be drawing your favourite character or shipping. But this cannot continue. This is unhealthy for myself and also for my creativity. 

So in the up-coming year I will draw whatever I like. And if I want to draw 50 Glasshipping-Kisses in a row I will freaking do that. I will continue to draw the chapter-pictures and of course I will continue with writing DeA. 

But everything except that? 

Is only up to one person.

ME. 

So if you dont want to see 50 Glasshipping Kissing Pictures in a row feel free to un-follow me now.    

[nine-prcnt]

because it’s your last

part two to as if it’s your last

these were supposed to be together but woops! i hit the max text blocks on the first part 😬😬

not a request again, just for my enjoyment i guess even though my heart died a little while i wrote it but sure

word count ; 1,552

genre ; angst

pairing ; poor!zhu xingjie x rich!reader

au ; prestigious school

part one // part two

The room was warm, a sickening mix of heat and the scent of flowers, an almost direct contrast to the lifeless cold of the outside winter. In the center, lying on the bed was you. You had been toying with the bed covers before he walked in. He was as beautiful as the last time you saw him.

Plump, porcelain skin and cool, dark eyes to match his messy black hair. If anything he reminded you of the season you were in right now, a cold beauty.

He took his place in the seat next to your bed. Rightfully, you couldn’t help but think.

His eyes seemed to avoid you, only snapping to focus on you when you covered his hand with yours.

‘Hi.’ Your eyes searched his for a small tell, anything. Although it was everything but his eyes that gave him away.

He didn’t say anything back to you.

‘You achieved it, your dream. I’m so proud.’

He stared hopelessly at you, as if he had nothing and finally he showed some signs that you existed, clasping your hands.

‘I’m sorry.’

There was stunned silence on your part, only your intertwining breaths filling the space.

‘What are you sorry for? If anyone is sorry, it’s me. We should have had our eventual reunion under better circumstances but better to have it than never.’

He didn’t smile and kept his gaze cast down. You caressed his cheek, guiding his head up.

‘You’ve accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. I remember you had the natural talent but now it’s skill that you have as well. I’ve always been in awe of you and that feeling has only increased with time.’

He met your eyes, only for a moment but for you, it was a lifetime that ended too quickly. He stood up, pacing the room and you saw him trying to collect himself, his thoughts and everything he wanted to say to you before it was too late because this time at least, he had a chance to make things right.

‘I’m sorry for all those things I said. I’m sorry that that was the last time and although I didn’t know it, I should have been more careful and treasured you.

‘I’m sorry for all of my insecurities and giving them the shape of you. Im sorry that I wasn’t good enough for you and that it’s taken me so long to say all of this, but there is one thing I know for certain and can say with confidence.

‘Everytime I look out onto a crowd, I look for you. I search for those eyes that never seemed to tire of me . I look for the lips that knew exactly how to tell me everything without a single words passing through them.

‘Let me tell you, there were so many times I thought I saw you. I-’

‘You did Xing. I couldn’t stay away. I was at every fanmeet and concert, no matter how small.’

‘Then why didn’t you just-’

‘He loves me, I knew that if I- if we- we would just try to pick right back up where we left off and I couldn’t do that to him. He’s a good man, I just couldn’t bring myself to be unfaithful to him in body as well as in mind.’

Silence overtook you both again. It was easier now though. He understood. You knew that much.

‘Were you happy?’

‘I was. I am, right now.’

He leaned over you, pressing his lips to the top of your head.

And as he turned away to make his exit, you grabbed his hand, entwining your fingers like all those years ago.

‘Sing me a song please.’ It’s one thing to hear his voice amongst thousands and thousands of people, but it’s another to have him just for you.

He sighed, defeated. How could he say no, to you of all people and in these circumstances?

But once again, you couldn’t finish your sentence and hid the words that would poison the atmosphere.

Because it will be your last.

-

The funeral was long over and your parents had been gone for half an hour but they stayed, gazes still fixed on the freshly filled grave and the rectangle of disturbed dirt.

The two of them stood together in silence.

There was so much to be said, yet no one was saying anything. Without a single shared glance, they turned and left, going their own ways.

It wasn’t until the following spring and you in the ground for a year. The two of them met by chance in a coffee shop. Xukun invited Xingjie to sit with him and although he was in middle of working on his next album, he couldn’t say no.

History began to repeat itself with them sitting in silence, staring into the rapidly cooling coffees.

‘I saw you last month.’

Xingjie looked up.

‘At her grave.’

‘Oh.’

He felt guilty now. He didn’t know why but something gnawed at his heavy heart.

‘I’m glad you were there. I’m sure that she enjoyed the company.’

Xingjie didn’t know what compelled him to say what he said next but he did.

‘I try to go as often as I can. Make up for lost time, I don’t know.’

Xukun nodded. He knew the situation, he could understand what Xingjie meant.

‘But she was always helpful when I would write, just her being there was enough.’

Xukun looked at this man in front of him. He seemed cold, as he always had but when he spoke of you there was a sudden gentility to his words and moves. It made Xukun happy, that even after all that time neither of you forgot each other in your hearts.

‘Y/n was always talking about you. Blasting your songs around the house and dancing along.’

They laughed together, the image of you prancing around in their minds.

‘They were terrible at dancing.’

‘Oh yeah. I tried to teach them a long time ago and that didn’t go too well.’

The air around them was warm again. Not from the hot aroma of coffee or the people that sat in the booths around them, but from them, their familiarity with you and the endearing memories they had of you.

‘You know, I actually went to your last concert.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, I had never been before. Y/n liked to go alone.’

Xingjie hummed a response.

‘It was really good. I honestly didn’t know what to expect but I had a lot of fun. It’s a bit embarrassing to admit but I actually know all of the fan chants for your songs.’

A shy smile crept onto Xukun’s face and the tips of his ears were pink.

‘Really? Did you cheer along?’

‘Maybe.’

‘Thanks, that means a lot.’

Xukun furrowed his brows slightly, drawing a crease between them. Xingjie caught the expression.

‘I just-‘ He sighed.

‘Hearing the crowd is one of my favourite things about doing music. I’ve always wanted to be able to support myself and my life with music, so it’s the people who those voices belong to that allow me to do that. They mean the most to me. I’m living my dream because of them.’

Xukun understood now, exactly what you had seen in Xingjie, aside from his handsome exterior. He had an attractive heart, filled with compassion and loyalty. He never seemed insincere but it was visible, the change that came over him when he spoke of things he loved.

‘Well, I’ll be happy to go to another and I will make sure to cheer loudly.’

Xingjie broke out into a pleased smile, trying to hide it by sipping on his drink.

They exchanged stories of you and talked about what they had done with themselves until their cups were empty and the murmur of people calmed.

The tree on the corner was dark against the white sun. Its branches were filled with buds ready to burst and decorate the tree.

‘You know there were times that I couldn’t sleep because she would be tossing and turning and the only name on her lips, while she slept and when she woke up, was yours. I hope you know how much she loved you and how lucky you are to have had a love like that.’

‘I do. She shouldn’t have even known me but she spoke to me, got to know me and for that time, I have been and will be eternally grateful.’

There was a silence now between them, and like the winter winds had stolen you away, the spring breeze thawed the cold hearts of the men who loved you. 

‘She loved you too. Maybe she didn’t love us in the same way, but you meant too much to her that she didn’t try and come back to me. She couldn’t bear to hurt you, and if that doesn’t say something, I don’t know what will.’ 

They stood on the pavement for another moment.

‘I’m actually working on my album right now. If you’re free, do you want to join me?’

A slow nod and the men left, finding the company they had been missing for a year now and the pieces of you that you had left in each of them.

-

woot. this is done! im kind of surprised that i managed to actually write this bcos usually when i get ideas, they don’t usually get finished. i hope you guys liked this! it’s a bit shorter than the first part but tbh i wasn’t planning on having two parts but i wrote too much hehe c:

-kee

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