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andkisses · 4 months

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♡ a good way | beomgyu ♡

despite the director casting you and beomgyu, your best friend, as the romantic leads, you both promise it won’t change anything between you

♡ beomgyu x gn!reader | wc. 9.1k ♡ genres/tropes: college!au, friends-to-loves, theater!au, hurt/comfort ♡ mentions of/warnings: injuries, lmk if there's anything else ♡ a/n: this is a rewrite of a fic i wrote and posted YEARS ago; unfortunately it was eaten up when i accidentally deleted my blog :’) it was originally for joshua from svt; i changed some of the times in the fic from the original, so if it’s a little wonky that’s why :’) pls enjoy ! <3 at the time it was my longest fic, now only second to roman holiday ^^ a/n 2: apologies for my absences ! i had some health issues even tho it was supposed to be my break :') im doing well now ^^

♡ masterlist ♡

It was strange. Weird. Practically unfathomable and there must be some kind of mistake. The play had those two characters as romantic leads. The ones who slowly turn to look at each other, catch the starry glint in the other’s eye before slowly leaning in, before slowly closing their eyes, before slowly feeling their heartbeat accelerate because oh heavens this is it—before slowly kissing each other for the first time with such tender passion some members of the audience start to cry.

Those roles were not ever meant for the ones who have been friends since seventh grade, where one of them accidentally tripped and tossed their lunch all over the other, rendering the former an apologetic mess and the latter slightly smelling of garlic for the rest of the day. Not for the ones who stayed up far too late binge watching whole seasons of anime because they finally turned in that big project and it’s in fate’s hands now. Definitely not friends who are each other’s best friends, always. Never them.

But when the director swings back to the two of you, the mischievous and excited glint in his eye is unmistakable. His giddiness even bubbles over and he repeats himself, happily gazing between you and the best friend of 8 years standing beside you. “Beomgyu, Y/N, you will be the best two leads this stage has ever seen.”

You don’t want to talk about it. You avoid it for as long as possible. Have every conversation about everything else possible except the one topic that actually needs discussion. The trees outside are slowly losing their crunchy leaves, littering the ground with crimson and gold and sprigs of chocolate in between. They rustle and fuss when walked over, and shuffle down the street in a hoard of warning, proclaiming threats of the bitter winds of winter that would soon approach and engulf everyone whole.

Some mornings, you can see remnants of late-night frost on window panes, icy designs laced over the glass in the early morning hours. The grass glistens and shimmers with frozen dew, and the sidewalk is slippery enough to encourage walking slowly or bypassing concrete altogether and walking through the dead leaves. Some nights, you can see your breath curl as you wait outside the diner, a translucent white beast disappearing into the night. As night draws darker earlier, the air grows colder, like a mysterious ghost. One moment, you’re warm—the next, a bitter chill sprints around you, immersing everything in a coldness that drills past your layers and settles into your bones.

But you’d wait a thousand years in the cold just to walk him home. You’d wait forever if it meant seeing him one last time before the day ended and blurred into the next through a series of dreams and quiet darkness.

Beomgyu is one of the last few people out of the diner; he never closes, but he stays as long as he can, helping out and cleaning before his boss gets angry and tells him to “go home! Don’t you have homework?” When he steps out onto the street, making sure to close the door behind him, he’s safely bundled up in a black pea coat and a plaid woolen scarf that, when wound up, nearly encompasses his neck, chin, and even the bottom tips of his ears. When he sees you waiting for him again, he smiles, eyes lighting up like firecrackers and his grin is so warm it starts to defrost your bones, slowly but surely.

“You know you don’t have to wait for me?” he says, falling in step with you as the two of you began the chilled trek back to your apartment.

“Yeah,” you shrug, “but then who will make sure you don’t get lost on your way back? Or, I don’t know, get eaten by a star-monster?”

“A star-monster?” He quirks his head towards you, raising his eyebrow in mild but amused confusion.

You nod your head. “What if the stars gang up on you and snatch you right off the face of the earth and you disappear into the sky? And no one knows or can save you because I wasn’t there? Hm?”

A bitter chuckle escapes his lips. The white curl of his breath fills the air in front of him before it fades, taking the bright look in his eyes with it. “Then I guess I wouldn’t have to be a part of the musical, would I?”

Silence washes over you like a breaking wave—it hurts and stings, knocking everything away and tossing the tiny ships around into chaos. The only sound now is the brush of the wind skirting the leaves down the street with you and the distant city noise. The heels of your shoes hit the pavement in time together, and your breaths slowly start to match up. But something’s off; you feel it in your heart and your bones begin to ache again as the cold ice returns once more, spreading their chilled fingers across them.

Somehow, you find your voice, but it’s quiet and small. “It couldn’t be that bad, could it?”

Beomgyu shrugs, looking anywhere but you. He throws his head back and stares up at the night sky, where the stars kindly twinkle back at him, almost as a promise of we’d never steal you away. You look up, too, but all you see is a menacing darkness that you’re not sure you can get rid of. It feels like it’s bearing down on you, pressing down on your head, your shoulders, and your heart. With it comes a dark doubt, one that oozes into the cracks of your armor and makes you start to question things. It beckons out the dangerous thoughts—the what ifs—and coaxes them into the light and forces you to acknowledge them. What if... this changes things. What if... it ruins things. What if...

“Y/N?”

Your gaze drops back down. Beomgyu stands a few yards ahead of you, in the light of one of the yellow streetlamps. You must have stopped while lost in thought, slowing down until you ended up stuck in between two lamps, in the shadowy part. “Hm?”

He shakes his head. “You just stopped walking.” He turns toward you completely and quickens his pace until he’s beside you again. The look on his face screams of concern, of wondering if his best friend is fine or if it’s something he can’t fix. He reaches out to take your hand in his. “Is everything okay?”

Your heart swells, but it still feels as if it will break, shatter, crumble at any time or place. It feels like porcelain, that if it isn’t handled with care and marked FRAGILE, it will ruin to the point that nothing can fix it. You know what question you have to ask; it’s weighing down on your tongue and you’ll have to force it out.

You gulp, and you can feel your hand shaking in his. Beomgyu’s eyebrows knit together, his starry eyes trying to search for what’s wrong. For what is in need of helping. You stare back at him, garnering the courage to ask the question that’s been plaguing you since roles had been assigned. “The show–it won’t change anything between us, will it?”

And then, he does something unthinkable.

He laughs.

Beomgyu lets go of your hand and bends over in half, practically cackling at the idea, whisker dimples on full display. When he stands back up again, he’s still laughing hard enough he crinkles into your frame, resting a hand on your shoulder and burying his head into your neck, an arm resting across his stomach. His body shakes with laughter, and it’s infectious. A grin slowly spreads across your face, and then a giggle works its way out until the two of you are both laughing like fools. You may be between two lampposts in the shadows, but there’s light where you are.

When the laughter finally subsides to gentle smiles, Beomgyu takes your hand again and tugs you close. He starts walking again, pulling you along, swinging your arms between the two of you. He knocks into your shoulder jokingly, and the both of you smile harder. “Of course not,” Beomgyu says. His smile is pure, assuring. The hand in yours is warm, stable. “Nothing will ever change us.”

Seventh Grade.

The auditorium was full of anxious students, the buzz of noise telling the story of those who were waiting for their turn to shine on stage. The lights were turned on as bright as they would be for a performance, and the stage was decorated with real props from last semester’s performance, a steampunk rendition of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. No one thought the director could pull it off, but when the curtains closed for the last time that first showing, everyone was left starstruck and a new round of students was inspired to try out for the next performance.

A loud clap from the director thundered through the auditorium, signaling for attention and shocking you into your seat a little further. The red fabric bristled against whatever skin your sweater didn’t cover. Outside, the harsh winter weather pummeled the barren landscape, the dead, empty tree branches getting whipped by the bitter, unforgiving wind. The light dusting of snow made everything brighter, almost to the point it hurt to look out the windows at the white world. Inside, however, was full of warm tones and warm breaths. The heat of the auditorium practically had you sweltering, making you wish you had worn layers instead of a bright green sweater. The threads around the collar began to itch at your neck, and you tugged at the hem in search of relief. You really wanted to be here. You really wanted to audition. But the number of people and how long you’ve waited has started to play mind games with you. What if they don’t get to you today? What if they skip over you entirely for someone else? Someone with more theater experience from prior years than you, a complete newbie? What if—

“Hey, uh, is this seat taken?”

You looked up, still fiddling with your itchy collar. It was the boy from the day before—Beomgyu. The one who had accidentally tripped over someone else’s backpack and thrown his lunch all over you. He looked like a complete wreck, one hand holding onto the wrist of the other arm, his dark brown hair falling into his eyes as he struggled to even look in your direction. You shelf your own nerves and offer up a kind smile and pat the seat, which he hastily filled.

It’s quiet between the two of you for a while afterward. On stage, more students rotated through songs and performances, some spectacular and others a little lackluster. It was beginning to become monotonous, and your mind started to wonder if you had gotten here earlier, would you have already auditioned by now? But then something happened. A student walked on stage, introduced themselves politely, and then began to blow everyone and every other performance out of the water. The way they moved, spoke, sang—everything they did was captivating and you felt yourself leaning forward in your seat, drawing ever nearer to the practically perfect audition. There was no music playing in the background, but their vocals and stage presence was more than enough. The entire auditorium erupted in applause when the student on stage finished.

“Wow,” you breathed out. You’d practically fallen out of the chair—feet standing on tiptoes, elbows on knees, chin rested in your cupped hands with a shimmer in your eyes. That. You wanted to be like that. Bewitching, enchanting, and utterly spellbinding.

“I know right?” the boy whispered beside you. The two of you turned to look at each other, and somehow, in the back of your mind, you registered he was sitting the same way you were, looking completely and utterly enraptured with the previous performance. He stared into your eyes—the first time, you noted—and you could see the stars, like a secret milky way full of wonder. There was a serious note in them. “Let’s both do our best so when we grow up, we can be that good.”

“No.” You shook your head, and Beomgyu’s face collapsed into confusion. You shook your head again, this time with a mischievous grin spreading across your lips. “No, when we grow up, we’ll be way better.”

A murmur ripples around campus. Sophomore year of college, and all of high school behind you. You’d think you would be used to it by now, the way quiet words spread around so sneakily but somehow always managed to make their way to your ears, too. But when the girls in the bathroom see you and slyly turn away, whispering how you and Beomgyu have the romantic leads, how of course they do, you can’t help but feel the knot in your stomach form and twist your insides until you feel pressure on your heart as well. Until it feels like you’re about to burst and spill everywhere. You want to spin at them, throw your hands out, and tell them how it’s not like that! That there’s nothing between the two of you except for friendship, the purest of kinds! Stop thinking that way!

But the wiser part of you, the one that’s been through high school, knows that they would just nod their head and try to hide their smirk. You can’t change their minds; they’ll always be thinking and imagining what they want.

Outside, the halls teem with people trying to get to their next class or break. You debate on stopping by your locker near the theater—you won’t need your books again until you go home thanks to rehearsal, but it would be out of your way to get there, on the opposite side of the arts block. But your books are heavy. Really heavy. Like shoulder-breaking, premature back pain-inducing heavy. You find that your feet have started to take you through the crowds to your locker before your mind decides on the plan itself.

In middle school, your and Beomgyu’s lockers were practically as far as they could be from one another. Yours by the gymnasium and near the arts building and the theater. With your mismatched class schedules, you only got to see each other at lunch and for theater. As your friendship grew, he would let you borrow locker space. It got to the point where you basically co-owned each other’s lockers; everything for classes on his side of the building was in his locker and everything for classes on your side was in yours.

By the time high school rolled around two grades later, the two of you were inseparable. As were your lockers. His at one end of the hall, yours at the other end on the opposite side. This only caused trouble junior year, when the two of you had such a bad falling out you could hardly bare to walk past one another’s locker let alone the other person. You would end up taking roundabout ways to your own locker, which worked until you ended up running into him one day without warning.

But you don’t have that problem now. As you walk past Beomgyu, who’s standing by his locker talking to another theater kid, you lightly slug his shoulder. You turn to walk backward and catch his reaction, and he’s staring back at you with fake confusion and his arms thrown up in the air. “You’ll pay for that!” he calls after you.

“Yeah, yeah, sure I will!”

You reach your locker, a happy smile on your face, glad your best friend is the kind of person you can beat up on. You spin the lock with precision, ready to open the door, slam your books inside on the shelf, and hurry to the theater for rehearsals. You can’t wait to see what strange exercises the director would have up his sleeve today; last time, he had everyone stand on the steps in the audience and each time they recited a line correctly, they got to move up two steps. First to the top wins; you and Beomgyu tied for first.

When you pull out the lock and swing the door open, what you see ruins your mood instantly. The crisp, white, inch-thick script stares back at you with quiet remorse. Remember me? it seems to say. Don’t forget about me. You’re almost afraid to touch it, knowing exactly what it holds in its pages even without having read a single line. If your fingers were to graze it, it’s as if an electric shock would shoot out and stop your heart from ever beating again. A tiny part of you wonders if, if your heart really did stop beating, would Beomgyu come to your side and rescue you?

Or would it be like the other night, with a sharp, bitter laugh and a mild happiness over a forgotten kiss.

You’re jostled out of your stupor by a neat punch to your arm, and you fall back into your locker with a metallic clang. When your vision focuses back on the real world, you see Beomgyu walking away from you towards the theater with a confident smirk on his face. He throws out his hands, his smile growing even wider. “I told you, you’d pay for that!”

You’re smiling too, now, and you hurry and grab the script and race after him.

It will all be okay. The two of you had already talked about it, how nothing could change between you two. Regardless of what the girls in the bathroom would dare to say in front of you. Regardless of what anyone else on campus or your major are thinking. Regardless of the script that burns slightly in your grasp, the crisp paper threatening to cut tiny slices into your delicate skin. You and Beomgyu—inseparable best friends for the rest of time.

It would always be that way. No play, no roles, no romantic leads, would get in the way of that. You’d promised each other you’d be each other’s best friend, always.

Freshman year.

Sunlight streaming through the loosely drawn curtains was what woke you, lit patterns playing across your face. Your back ached from sleeping on a couch at a crooked angle for who knows how long. You stretched and tried to pull at your sore joints, attempting to return them to pre-crooked status. The room was still dark; the lamps were all off and the only other source of light was the television, where Netflix was playing some random anime you don’t remember ever selecting or talking about. Vague memories float up to the surface slowly as you finished waking up: you and Beomgyu had turned in a big semester final project that neither of you had thought would be finished on time but somehow managed to pull off. Deciding to get take out and stay up as long as possible watching as many seasons of anime as you could fit in and—

“Boo!”

Your scream echoed through the small dorm and you pulled at the blanket on top of you, trying to hide behind the soft, comforting quilt. On the other side of the couch was Beomgyu, laughing so hard he nearly rolled off onto the shag carpet rug. You half thought about being kind, and warning him to be careful because if he fell he could hit his head on the coffee table, but the other half said he scared you and deserved whatever happened next.

“How could you be so mean!” you whined, reaching behind you to grab a pillow to throw at your best friend’s face. “How long had you been planning something like that?”

Beomgyu paused his laughter to think. “Probably since I woke up about ten minutes ago. It would have been more elaborate, but then you woke up and I ran out of time.”

“You’ll pay for that, you know,” you muttered, drawing the blankets closer against your chest, where inside your heart still beating faster than usual.

“Even after helping you with that project and pay for dinner? On a college budget?” He paused for another moment, resting his chin between his thumb and the rest of his fingers. “Wait, pay for dinner... seems like I’ve already paid for it, Y/N.”

“Beomgyu!” You lunged forward, diving towards his end of the couch. Instead of a successful attack, you landed squarely in his arms, where he proceeded to tug you tightly against his chest. Escape, you soon realized, was futile. You’d have to talk your way out of this one. “Beomgyu, let me go. Now!"

“You know, you sure are whiney when you wake up,” he commented, rustling the hair atop your head. Your heart was still beating quickly and you were convinced the flush of your cheeks was due to large bouts of boiling hot rage streaming through your veins. “And why should I?”

“I would be in a nicer mood if you hadn’t scared me!” You tried to wriggle your arms up and pry your way out, but his grip was solid still, strong and warm. Since when was he ever this strong? His cheeks, you noticed, were warm and rosy as well, but that was from laughing too hard, you were sure. Why else would they be flushed?

“You may have a point…”

“Of course, I have a point! Now let me go!”

Mischief swam around with the stars in your best friend’s eyes. You could practically see the gears turning in his head, planning something you could only hope wasn’t entirely embarrassing. One eyelid dropped shut, and the smirk on his lips was unmistakable. “I will, but only if you pay for breakfast. From somewhere nice,” he rushes to add. “Student union doesn’t count.”

You released a terse sigh, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. “Fine! Deal! Now, release me!”

His arms slid away and you rolled over onto the floor, gently landing between the couch and the coffee table. The carpet was rough against your bare arms, but you were glad to be freed from Beomgyu’s death grip.

He was situated on the edge of the couch, chin resting lazily on his forearm, his eyes filled with mild shock and awe. “Really?” he gasped, as if he couldn’t actually believe you’d agreed. “Even if it’s the overpriced brunch food from the boutique down the street?”

You sighed, staring back at him. “Yes. Even the brunch food from the boutique down the street.”

A moment of stillness, then...

“I’m glad we’re best friends," he said plainly, no hesitation in his voice. His dark eyes had warmed to a welcoming honest color, the kind some people could describe as home. The air around the two of you was still, a precious silence that quietly begged to be broken softly. Outside, the morning birds began to sing their late winter tune, beckoning spring to arrive as soon as possible. The sun filtered through the tiny windows brightly now, filling the dorm with warm yellow like that made everything feel nostalgic. Like the perfect ’80s movie.

When you found your voice, your words were soft but not timid. They held the same amount of honesty and weight as his had. “Me, too. We’re best friends, always.”

A soft smile played at Beomgyu’s lips as he echoed your promise. “Always.”

The walk back to your apartment is chilly. Even though the sun shone brightly ahead, the first freeze of the season the night prior plunged your town from late autumn into early winter. What few leaves remain on the trees might as well be frozen on, and the rest of the dead ones scattered around on the pavement, crunchy husks of their former selves. It’s daylight, but you can easily imagine if darkness were shrouded around you, your breaths would be rising out in front of you in vague translucent puffs. Cold describes everything in sight.

Beomgyu is close by your side, nestled in that ridiculously oversized scarf of his. Christmas is a while away, but you’re already planning on getting him a nice, Beomgyu-sized scarf, probably a deep brown to match his eyes.

“What’cha thinking about?” His voice, clear as crystal, cuts through the air like a sharpened knife, but it doesn’t startle you. It’s warm and inviting against the bitter winter weather, a gentle fire among the cold.

“What I’m gonna get you for Christmas,” you reply, burying your hands into your coat pockets. The pavement scuffs beneath your boots, the walk back home growing boring. As you crossed the street where you two used to part ways freshman year, him to the left and you to the right, you remember when he said his parents told him they were moving during high school. How distraught the two of you became, only to find out he was moving in across the street from your house. Now, you split the rent for a two bedroom apartment. “How about you?”

“To be completely honest, I’m wishing I had remembered my gloves this morning, because right now, my hands are extremely cold.”

You laugh, a bright chuckle, and pull your own hands out of your pockets, staring down at the grey gloves cloaking your fingertips. You hold out your hand towards him. “Want to take one?”

Beomgyu scoffs. “And let you suffer from an equally terrible fate as myself? I think not. At least one of us needs to live.”

You laugh again, throwing your hands back into your pocket. “Fine, be that way.” You cut in front of him, dashing over to the short decorative stone wall running as a divider between the grassy park and the sidewalk. In a quick hop, you’re walking along the top as it gradually slopes higher to the point your feet are even with Beomgyu’s waist.

He stares up at you as you hold your arms at length on either side of you, a small frown playing on his lips. “Be careful,” he warns, the tone of his voice surprisingly stern, something he rarely treats you with. When you look down, you see his brows creased as he follows your pace.

“Yeah, okay, dad,” you laugh, finding the bitter look on Beomgyu’s face amusing. The stone wall beneath your feet is sturdy, and your balance is just as solid. Years of strange theater exercises had brought you that. You can even see your apartment down the street; you’d walk all the way atop this wall, taller now still, and show him. You’ll get to the end and hop off dramatically and tease him for worrying. He keeps pace with you perfectly, still by your side even if there’s distance. The look in Beomgyu’s eyes tells you he wants to reprimand you, take you by the waist and set you safely on the sidewalk before scolding you on every reason why you shouldn’t have done that. But you don’t need him to. You’re perfectly safe with no reason to worry and—

You’ve misstepped.

Your foot is too far from the center, closer to the edge of the stonewall than you had anticipated. There’s not enough foot on the edge to save it. Your impressive balance is misplaced even further as your arms circle widely at your sides, trying in vain to regain some semblance of stability. You can feel yourself pitch sideways, your feet finally coming out from beneath you, and now you’re looking up at the crystal blue sky.

There’s not a cloud in sight, odd for this early winter day, and for the shortest of moments, it’s like you're falling through the atmosphere. The cold wind biting at your cheeks is caused by your descent. The screams you hear are just the air rushing past your ears, calling your name, not anyone else. The clunk of bodies hitting the pavement is just an illusion.

Your vision snapping to black is just a mistake, a cruel trick of fate, like the dark doubts that swarm around your head when you’re all alone. The blackness is almost welcoming, and you succumb quietly.

Twelfth Grade

Four weeks. Just under a month. Your life had gone from bold with color and emotion to two steps from dead and lifeless. Subjects you’d once enjoyed, now dull and monotonous. Walks to school were boring. Lunch and free period were non-committal. You’d skipped theater more than your fingers could count; you’d gotten an email from the director asking if everything was okay.

But it wasn’t. Nothing was.

Because it had been four weeks, just under a month, since you’d talked to your best friend.

What you’d even been fighting over, you couldn’t remember. That entire night is a fogged mess in your memory banks, existing but inaccessible. You know it’s there, but your brain, or maybe your heart, refuses to replay the details for you. The only information it relays is that there was a fight, and somehow some kind of words were said that ended in hot tears and storming out of houses with no goodbyes, take cares, or any sign of always.

Life since then had been weird, like you had shifted from one plane of existence but the world didn’t shift with you. Like a blurry camera shot, where one part of the image is in focus with fuzzy edges but everything else is shaken and smeared like thick wet paint.

All the love and joy theater had brought you since seventh grade was gone, five years nearly shattered to pieces inside your nearly-broken heart. You had no idea when the light would return, or if you would ever act again. It was so closely entwined to him, it physically hurt to walk near the theater or even think of certain plays.

Just like it hurt in the classes you shared. Sitting across the room from each other as far as possible, as opposed to right next to each other and sharing looks and soft smiles. The other students and even the teachers were left in a mild tailspin of confusion. There was never a scene made, nor any words spoken. Glances weren’t exchanged anymore. You never looked in his direction; your heart would ache far too much to handle.

Different pathways were even chosen to get between classes. You didn’t want a chance encounter in the halls, you couldn’t handle it. You guessed he couldn’t either, because you never saw him. There were never any accidental meet ups by your lockers, either.

Your plan had been to skip theater again and take the bus home, riding it around until it dropped you off last. You wouldn’t have to see him, it wouldn’t have to hurt, for that day at least. But you were running late, another teacher asking if you were okay needing brushing off. You needed to hurry and stop by your locker to retrieve your books. The bus was leaving soon; if you wanted to leave, you’d need to rush.

The halls were empty, everyone either in their after school clubs or outside waiting for the buses. You hurried to your locker, fingers anxious to spin the code in, grab your books, and leave. You reached inside, ready to retrieve the books by their spine and disappear from this place for what would feel like a short eternity. The hall was too bright, too empty, too--

“Y/N?”

Your heart skipped a beat, head whipping to the side. Beomgyu stood mere feet from you, but he might as well have been a thousand miles away. There were no longer any stars in his eyes, no warmth or cheer. They were sad, dark pits of self-doubt. They were muted screams, begging for help but not being quite loud enough. The dark circles under his eyes pleaded as well, and the downturn of his lips was what sent your stoic, bored, “I can make this” facade spiraling downwards.

You reached forward instinctively, wanting to cup his cheek with your hand and gently rub away the dark circles with your thumb, but you froze midway. Your voice even hitched. “Beomgyu... you look…”

“Awful? Dreadful? Like hell?” he filled in for you, and you couldn’t help but nod. Your chest was tight, almost to the point you wanted to clutch and tear at your heart to find relief. And the way your best friend was standing, shoulders slumped and body looking one strong wind from caving in like a fragile house of cards, it seemed like his heart was aching, too.

“What happened to us?” you asked, voice quiet and quivering. The hot buildup of tears began behind your eyes, making the edges of your vision blur together in a mass of sad, muted tones. “Why did we—”

“I don’t know,” he answered quickly, anxiously, as if he doesn’t speak fast, he’ll lose you again. He took a tender step forward, leaving only a few feet between you, but it was still too much space. You missed being side by side, close enough to bump into each other’s shoulders or elbow each other’s sides. Beomgyu took another tiny step towards you when you didn't move back. “What were we even fighting about?”

“I don’t know.” You felt like one step away from crumbling inwards, clasping in on yourself and all the way to the cool hallway floor. Your hands were shaking now at your sides, and you gripped your hoodie hem to prevent the shivers from racing up your arms and shaking the rest of you until you shattered into tiny shards. The moment your fingers curled around the soft hem was when you realized: it was his. You’d thrown in on that morning without even thinking. Now, all you could notice was how strongly, how nicely it smelled like him. You took in a solid breath of air to prevent the tears from spilling over, but it was shaky and unconvincing. “Whatever we were fighting about, it’s not worth this. I miss you, Beomgyu.”

His eyes were still empty, no stars in sight, but now they were glossy with tears. His chin quivered, and his lips moved to say something but couldn’t. His fingers curled and uncurled around the leather strap of his messenger bag. His voice was quiet when he finally spoke. “I miss you. So much it hurts to breathe, so much I can’t stand to look at you in class or else I feel like crying. Whatever I did, I’m sorry. Please, please, forgive me and be my best friend again. I don’t think I can take life without you anymore.”

The both of you lunged forward at the same time, wrapping each other in a hug. Your arms clung to his neck while his encircled your waist, holding you close. Warm, salty tears finally spilled over, running down your cheek and onto the soft denim of his jacket. By his shaky breaths, you figured he was crying, too. “I don’t want you not in my life anymore either,” you managed, hoping somehow that you’d made sense.

Beomgyu laughed in your arms, drawing you even nearer. “Good, because I really didn’t want to have to explain to your father why I was standing under your window with my guitar instead of just letting myself in like usual.”

You laughed too, but the kind of broken laugh where you find pure happiness just after harsh sadness. Your heart swelled with joy, knowing that Beomgyu was still yours. The time you’d spent apart, not talking or goofing around or shoving each other playfully with stupid grins on both of your faces, had been life-draining. You’d never get it back, even if you spent forever together. You never wanted to go through anything like that ever again.

Beomgyu nestled into the crook of your neck, words whispered so quietly you knew instantly that they were just for you. “We’re each other’s best friends, always. Right?”

You wrap your arms around even tighter, a true smile on your face for the first time in weeks. “Right. Always, Beomgyu, always.”

The apartment is quiet. The shades are drawn open, allowing late afternoon sunlight to spill in and swim around on soft carpet floors, bathing them in warm yellow light. The television in the corner is on but mute, the news airing with no noise. The heater kicked on a minute or so ago, filling the house with nicely warm air. Outside, soft baby snowflakes begin to fall out of the sky, the first snowfall of the season. If the sound had been on, you would have known that the weatherman said the snow was no reason for concern—it wouldn’t accumulate to the point it was dangerous. Just a light dusting, something to make the outdoors look nice and wintry.

But you are unconcerned with whatever the weatherman’s words may be or the consequences of the snow. There are more pressing concerns.

Your voice warbles as you pull out the first aid kit from above the washer and walk back into the living room. “Beomgyu, I’m so so sorry, I—” You bite down on your lower lip to prevent yourself from crying; there wasn’t time for that now. The white plastic lid snaps open, and you pull out the gauze, the alcohol wipes, and the bandages with shaky hands. He sits on the edge of the couch, one hand bracing himself on the cushion, the wounded one resting tenderly on his lap.

You lower to stand on your knees and reach out to take the hurt one in yours. You stare down at his split second knuckle, an ugly gash that would surely scar no matter how kindly or tenderly you treated it. Caused because of your stupidity, your recklessness. Caused because you tripped or slipped or something and fell off the wall. Caused because he risked his safety to catch you. You feel your heart break, knowing the scar would be your fault, forever, and you can’t ever fix it no matter how hard you try.

There’s no going back, or rewinding time to try again.

Beomgyu winces as you wipe at the cut with the alcohol wipes, and you mutter sorry after sorry. It’s beginning to not even feel like a real word. You can feel your chest heaving, one step away from a total breakdown as you swim through deep and measured breaths. Guilt pours over you like a thick syrup, sticking to every surface and threatening to drag you down and drown you whole. It fills into the cracks of your armor, bubbling up inside you like a witch’s brew. As you place the gaze and wrap the bandages around his hand, your breaths are coming shallower and shallower, your ability to keep it together fading. When you tie the bandages into place, you let go and drop to sit on your heels, all energy gone. Your head hangs in shame, and you wish you could crawl away and hide somewhere until further notice.

Which would be easier if you didn’t share a damn apartment.

However, your best friend won’t let you.

“Hey,” he calls, his voice soft and soothing. His healthy hand curls under your chin, gently begging you to look up, and you comply. His eyes are calm and filled with stars again, and other emotions you can’t quite place. He smiles kindly, and you can feel your heart shatter at that instant. Right now, you don’t deserve that kindness. Your shoulders spike up and tears begin to spill over. Beomgyu’s face collapses into concern, and he slides off the couch to sit on the floor next to you, legs crossed.

When he places his hands on your shoulders, you try to shake them off. “Please, just...” Your voice falls away. How could you ever apologize for what happened? You knew you shouldn’t have, and yet you did. You knew he seriously disapproved, even if he didn’t voice it totally, and yet you continued. You knew, deep down, that you were getting cocky, and yet you didn’t stop. You had plans on teasing him, mocking him for his concern. The guilt presses down and down, crunching against your head, your shoulders, and your heart until you could scarcely breathe. Quiet sobs heave against your frame, from your torso down to your whole body. You could tell, soon, that you’d simply shake apart into fragments that could never be pieced together again.

You injured your best friend from your own stupidity.

“Hey,” Beomgyu says again, and this time, he reaches for you and pulls you into his lap, safely tucking you under his chin. You don’t resist, and even if you wanted to, you doubt you could have done it past all the crying. He gently rocks you back and forth, rubbing your back, soothing you as one would a small child. Once your sobs have subsided, and your breaths return to a semi-normal state, he speaks again. “I don’t hate you for what happened, if that’s what you think. I could never, I…”

You pull yourself slightly from his grasp, enough to stare at him at eye level, coming out from underneath the warm spot of his chin and neck and shoulder. The emotions swirling around amongst the stars in his eyes are new and unusual to yet, and some part of you feels at home with them. Your voice is quiet, almost hesitant, when you talk. “You... what?”

Beomgyu takes a breath, as if steeling himself. "I have something I need to tell you."

"Need?" you echo, head quirking to one side in confusion.

He nods, staring straight into your eyes. When he speaks, his tone is something you’ve rarely ever heard before. “Need. My chest might burst if I don’t get this off it, and that wouldn’t really help me graduate. Or tell you this. So... and seeming we might as well have almost died…” You roll your eyes at his dramatics, and Beomgyu seems hesitant, but only for a moment. Years of going up on stage have prepared him, but you can tell in this instance, he’s honest, 100% himself, and your best friend, not some actor playing a character for some play.

He takes another breath before: “I think I’m in love with you.”

Your eyes grow wide, a small gasp escapes your lips, but he doesn’t stop.

“No, that’s not right. I know I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you for a long time but this... this is different. I want to keep you safe, to wipe away any of your tears. Seeing you sad just... tears at my heart. It hurts. Whenever you're sad or upset, I feel the same way, even if it’s just words over a text message. I really did feel like I was going to die when we had that fight. Living without you was unimaginable, but I had to go four weeks without you. Without your voice, your stupid jokes, your laugh. I guess I was in love with you then, too, I just didn’t know it.”

Words escape you, any witty comeback gone. You stare at him, the honesty in his eyes, thinking you’d see him differently after his confession. But you don’t. He’s still Beomgyu. He’s still your best friend. He’s still your Beomgyu.

One of your hands raises, and you tap yourself on your sternum. “Me?”

Beomgyu rolls his eyes now, as if he expected some kind of response like this. “Yes, you. I mean, who else would look up at the night sky, invent a star-monster, then worry about it taking me? I’ve wondered if I was really in love with you, like really actually in love with you. But when you fell and I caught you and you blacked out and I didn’t know why... Y/N, I was so worried. I could feel my heart breaking and I knew that if you never woke up, I wouldn’t ever be the same again.”

He’s mere inches from you, arms around you, body heat radiating off in such pleasant ways you feel okay with melting straight into the floor. His hands move from around your back to ghost around your face, like they want to caress you but are too afraid you might shatter like a fine porcelain under his touch. And his eyes—damn, his eyes. Every star, every galaxy, stirring together to create a beautiful milky way, a gaze so firm and caring you feel as if you’ll never look away. That if you somehow managed, too, you’d feel as if you were missing something dear and important.

Your heart flutters in your chest, its beat stuttery against your wrists. Oh, how on earth did you get here?

Maybe it was when one was so starstruck by the other they stopped watching where they were walking and dripped over someone’s strewn out, overstuffed backpack. When the other offered up a seat beside them during the audition to help settle nerves. Maybe it was when they woke up next to each other after having fallen asleep after binge watching an entire anime season or two, with Netflix on some other autoplay show, one was wondering how the other could look so soft and delicate just after they wake. When the other was happy that they were in each other’s lives. Maybe it was when they declared they’d always be friends, best friends, but now always seems to be more weighty and mean a little more than before.

Maybe, just maybe, this is when they slowly turn towards each other, catching the starry glint in the other’s eye. When they slowly lean forward, ever closer, to the point they can feel one another’s soft breath. When gazes go from eyes to lips and back. When heartbeats slowly start to be harder and louder. When you feel like you might be the one crying because oh heavens—this is it.

But there are things those plays never mention, things the audience can never detect.

They never mention how the palms of hands become sweaty, or how automatic it is to take a soft breath before another pair of lips meets yours, a touch so delicate you finally understand what all the hype is about.

How nice it feels to have two hands cupping your cheeks so gently, their little fear of shattering you gone, or how your own hand curls into the fabric of his shirt as if it’s second nature, the most right thing in the world.

How tantalizingly dizzy a first kiss is.

How soft lips are, how soothingly warm to the point you wouldn’t mind if they were all you felt. How tender goosebumps trail down your spine until something begins to pool in your stomach.

How, even though you’ve become utterly breathless, you can’t stop at just one, because now something that's been building and growing for years has unlocked.

Hands that trail from cheeks to ghost over the nape of the neck, sliding down arms softly to then find purchase at your waist. Kisses, more warm, tantalizing kisses that leave you craving for more. Kisses that roam from lips to chins, then trail down the jaw to tease and nip tender patches of skin on necks, only to return to corners of lips for more wholehearted, dizzying kisses.

You’re warm, almost hot, but it’s so pleasant. What exposed skin you have tingles with feeling, with a craving touch and affection, too. The two of you rest your forehead on one another’s, breath still shallow from all the kisses exchanged, hands softly interlocked with fingers entwined, or as much as one can with bandaged knuckles. He finds his voice first, though even it is soft and a little hoarse. “I should have done that a long time ago, huh?”

You giggle and snuggle closer, nestling into the crook of his neck. You place a kiss underneath his chin. Beomgyu rubs even patterns on your back with his healthy hand while you take the bandaged one in your own, cradling it gently. You pull it up to your own lips, kissing where each knuckle is softly. When you look up, you see the stars glowing in his eyes, brighter than anytime you’ve ever seen them.

Beomgyu sighs, eyes softening at the corners. “I guess the kiss in the play won’t matter anymore, hm?”

You lightly slug in him the shoulder, a love-filled smile playing on your lips. He smiles back in a similar manner, his eyes lighting up with happiness. “Oh, and I guess this means you love me back, too.”

People fill and mingle around the diner, looking for an open seat among the crowds of customers. And older couple swoops in as soon as you vacate the booth, not even caring that your dirty dishes were still neatly stacked at the edge awaiting pick up. But you didn’t mind. You push through the doors to wait outside while Beomgyu paid. Even though there’s a small crowd at the counter, you knew exactly which one he was. Beomgyu wore his light blue jacket, the one that accentuated all his features nicely. You’d have to make sure that whatever Beomgyu-sized scarf you bought matched that jacket. He needed to wear it as often as possible.

The first official date was almost over, but you knew there would be many more to come.

Once he’s finished paying, Beomgyu makes a beeline for the door, carefully navigating around all the people crowding the entryway. “Is it always this busy?” you ask when he rejoins you.

Beomgyu shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah, I guess so. But knowing you, the most gorgeous person ever alive, would be there waiting for me was very motivational.”

You do little to hid your smile.

He takes your hand in his, interlacing your fingers as if it were second nature. Maybe, it was, and you two had just been trying to ignore it. This walk from the diner back to your apartment had been done countless times before, but this one is special. And now, you think, it really is your apartment.

Beomgyu starts to casually rub gentle circles onto your skin with his thumb. “It’s the perfect kind of weather for me to take off my jacket and give it to you to keep you warm, you know.” He then takes a deep sigh and throws his head back. His next words come out playfully clipped. “But, someone had to be smart and wear their jacket.”

“Well, you’re not dating a fool,” you chuckle. When you notice Beomgyu pouting, eyes downcast away from you, you laugh again and poke him in the shoulder to get his attention. “Thank you anyway, Beomgyu, for always thinking of me.”

He turns back to you, all smiles. “Darling, I don’t think I could stop thinking of you even if I tried.”

“Ew, gross.” You laugh, white curls of breath forming in front of you. But, unlike last time, there is no cold or ice in sight. No dark thoughts and doubts plague you tonight. You’re delightfully warm and happy.

“Ew, gross yourself,” Beomgyu mimics, throwing his tone to match yours. “I’m cold too, by the way. So I guess thanks for thinking of me by thinking of yourself. God, you’re like the smartest person ever.”

As the walk home continues, so does the conversation. "Our parents seemed pretty happy when we told them, huh?" Beomgyu mentions, a smile playing at his lips.

“Maybe they planned it,” you muse. “Maybe the director was in on it. They wrote it all together because they decided it was now or never.”

Laughter fills the air, and even in the dark spots between the lampposts are filled with light.

You nudge your shoulder into Beomgyu’s, garnering his attention. “Can I ask you a question?” When he nods, eager to hear what you have to say, you continue. “Why did you throw your lunch on me that day in seventh grade?”

“That was an honest mistake!” he exclaims, eyes filled with desperate honesty. The blush along his cheeks as he looks away is readily apparent. When he looks up, his eyes are filled with sincerity. “But sitting next to you on audition day wasn’t.”

A soft smile plays at the corner of your lips. “I’m glad I got there late, then.”

“Me, too.” A moment of silence falls between you, but it’s comfortable, like an overtly fluffy blanket made just for two. Afterward, Beomgyu is the first to speak again. “Okay, I’ve confessed something from our past that’s mildly embarrassing yet still endearing. Now it’s your turn.” He turns to you with a mischievous grin on his lips. "’Fess up, darling."

It takes a small instant, before: “Oh! You know that time we stayed up all night and watched anime after that big project? When we woke up the next morning, even though you scared the hell out of me, I thought you were pretty cute.”

Beomgyu’s eyebrows quirk up, his grin grows wider. “Cute? Me? You thought I was cute?”

Pink blush rushes to your cheeks before you smack him on the shoulder. You drop his hand and quicken your pace. “You were cute, you’re not anymore.”

Beomgyu races to catch up with you, takes your hand again, and bumps into your shoulder gently. “Of course I’m not cute anymore. I’m handsome.”

You make a fake gag. “Oh, please!” There’s no sense of lightness when you shove his shoulder.

“Hey, now,” he says, rubbing his shoulder with his free hand, another fake pout on his lips. “Be nice to your boyfriend.”

You scoff. “Is that what you are now?”

“What else would I be? More than friends but not a boyfriend…” Beomgyu’s eyes brighten as he lets go of your hand and snaps his fingers. “Aha! Your husband!”

You shove him with two hands this time. The idea of being with him like that is overwhelming to the max. “Fine, you’re my boyfriend, then.” The word feels foreign on your tongue, but you can easily imagine them growing comfortable. Your best friend. Your boyfriend. Your Beomgyu.

He slings his arm over your shoulder and pulls you close as your apartment slowly grows larger in the distance. He leans his head over and rests it gently on yours. “I guess I lied,” he mutters, and you pull back confused even with his eyes on you, rich and loving. “I told you the play wouldn’t change things between us.”

A smile slowly spreads across your face. “But... we changed in a good way, right?”

Beomgyu answers you with a gentle kiss to the crown of your head, caressing your shoulders kindly and pulling you just a little closer. “Yeah, we changed in a good way.”

#kdiarynet #kwritersworld #kflixnet #k-labels #txt fluff #txt headcanons #txt scanarios #txt imagines #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu headcanons #beomgyu scenarios #beomgyu imagines #fluff #angst #scarios #imagines #all #prose #txt

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 4 months

Text

A Twist of Fate: No Hard Feelings**^

Thank you everyone for your patience. Here is Part 2 to this star-crossed lovers story. This part really focuses on the break down of the relationships so it can be angsty. Part 3 will be the last one in this short series. READ PART ONE

Series Masterlist

Warnings: sexism, unprotected sex, argumentative and rocky relationships, drug and alcohol use, break ups

WC: 16K

…. JANUARY 2024 ….

The holiday season had been interesting for you and Sebastian. You had gone over to his family’s for the festivities and it was interesting to say the least. You felt like you had transitioned into a weird dystopian dimension after that first dinner.

Seb’s mom wanted his first meal back to be his favorite home cooked meal, a green enchilada casserole; he had been talking about it since you’d left LA. So were excited to try it, so when dinner time came and his mom, Renee, started to serve up a plate of food, you followed suit and she gave you a knowing smile. It confused you but you finished up and followed after her to the table. When Seb glanced up at you with a smile your brows furrowed in confusion; you weren’t sure why Seb was just sitting at the table if he was so excited about this meal? But soon enough you were in front of your seat and set your plate down and then sat. You glanced up when you realized it had grown uncomfortably quiet and everyone was looking at you. When your eyes met Renee’s, she was frozen with the plate she had served her husband laid on the place mat before him. It was then that you noticed that this was not a self-serve situation, you were the only woman at the table and the ladies were serving their husbands before they could sit to eat.

You were mortified. You hadn’t grown up like that, your parents were very lax with gender expectations and roles, your mom wasn’t in charge of cooking and cleaning up after your dad. They were both working so much that they both did everything to keep the household running. Besides, you had never served Sebastian his food. You had cooked for him plenty of times and sure he never cleaned up after himself (unless asked), but he had always fixed his own plates so you had no idea why he would expect it now. It was even more awkward when his sister came in right behind you just moments later and placed a plate of food before him.

“Thanks, Amy.” He smiled and she nodded and looked at you briefly, you swore there was judgement in her eyes, and then everything picked back up again.

After, that it was just awkward and tense. Seb’s mom stepped up the babying for the rest of the trip. You were shocked the amount of work this woman did for her husband and Seb. You started doing the same to blend in, but it had been too late. Christmas Day at lunch, you were heading to the kitchen to offer your help with anything when you overheard his sisters and mother talking to maybe their aunts or other cousins saying how they had all been telling Seb how selfish you were and that you couldn’t take care of him how he needed. It was impressive that just from that one incident they had already discarded you and started shit talking you to Sebastian and others. You were glad when you finally got to leave and get back to LA, but it had been days now and you were still a bit in your head.

“Hey, babe.” Seb hummed as he came into your bedroom.

“Hi.” You offered a smile before glancing back down to your sudoku book. You felt the bed dip and glanced up to see him climbing onto the bed, heading over to your side.

“How was your day?” He asked.

“It was fine. Yours?” You asked as you put down a ‘9’ in it’s designed box.

“Finished another song today, think this will be the single. It has good energy.”

“That’s good.” You hummed as you glanced up at him and when he saw he had your undivided attention he got going. Sebastian started talking about all the things they’d done and how he got inspiration for new lyrics… He’d been talking at you for an hour already, it was nearly midnight and you were tired. Then, in the middle of his story you had the urge to yawn and you did. “Oh sorry, am I boring you?” He asked with irritation and you frowned.

“No, I just yawned. S’late. I was up at 5:30am for that stupid yoga class.” You explained to him and he frowned.

“You’re being weird.” He said.

“What?”

“Ever since we got back you’ve been off.” he said and you sighed. You supposed you should just get your concerns off your chest now.

“OK, so I ummm…I overheard your mom and sisters talking shit about me on Christmas.” You said and he frowned, “And I know they were talking about me to other people and to you.” You said.

“And?” He asked, “I mean, what did you expect after that first night?” He asked you.

“What’d you say when they talked to you about me after that?”

“Nothing…just heard ‘em out. It’s better to not argue with them about their opinions.”

“And is that…is that how you expect me to be?”

“Well, I get that’s not how you grew up. Trust me, meeting your family was a culture shock for me too. But we'll get there. With a little training.” He joked, but it was ill timed, “They know there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me when we’re on more serious turf.” He assured you.

“Ummm…I don’t exactly know what you mean by that.” You said as you straightened up a bit and raised your glasses up to your head. You set your book down as well to really just ensure all of your senses were in tune as you had this conversation.

“I mean that once I move in here we’ll get you to a stage where you’ll feel more comfortable assuming the more traditional feminine role in the house.” He said and you were shocked to hear him say this.

“Traditional feminine- OK, I hope this is not what I’m thinking…”

“And what’s that?”

“You want me to wait on you like that? Like your mom and sisters?”

“It’s called acts of service.” He countered.

“Babe, i-if I just sat here all day and did nothing outside of the house, then sure! I’d do work here. Your laundry and iron, clean up after you, and fucking spoon feed you if I wanted to. But you also forget one big thing, Seb. This is my house. My name alone is on the mortgage and every other expense. You should be cleaning up after yourself in my house, especially if you invite yourself over for days at a time!” You raised your voice in frustration.

He looked so offended by what you’d said but this was something that had been frustrating you for quite a while now. Of course you wanted him over, but he just took over your space. He’d stay for days and disrupt everything, like sleep in later than you and not do the bed. Eat and pile up dishes in the sink, he’d leave his dirty laundry and towels on the ground, and he left cups everywhere! But what was most annoying was that he’d leave everything to you. And when you’d call him out on it he’d get it together for a couple days and then go back to his old ways. At first you thought it was just laziness but after spending 10 days with his family you saw that it wasn’t just laziness. Seb had an expectation that you’d soon be doting after him at all times and keeping a nice home for his comfort. He knew that if he’d left a mess you’d eventually grow tired of it and clean it up for him, which was true. But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t gripe about it, but he expected that to diminish and soon become extinct the longer you were together. That was concerning to you and you suddenly found yourself seeing him in a completely different light.

“Well, sorry for taking up your space.” He muttered bitterly as he rolled off the bed and made his way out of your bedroom.

You didn’t stop him from going, you heard the front door lock and that was that. You hadn’t seen this type of attitude from him before, he had never shared those expectations with you before so you were quite shocked to hear him say that and you still hadn’t quite processed everything he’d said. You immediately called Caitlyn and told her all about your trip and now this.

“…Oh my god, so he’s a chauvinist!” Caitlyn gasped and you hummed.

“I just can’t believe this…I mean if this is really what he expects of me then I can’t be in this relationship. Of course I believe in doing things, acts of service for your partner, but what he wants is a maid, mother, and lover wrapped up in one! No…just no.” you sighed.

“I agree. I mean, it’s good it’s only been a bit, yeah?”

“I guess so…” you sighed, “I just can’t believe this.” You muttered, your brain felt like it was about to overheat.

“I mean, he’s from a red state, friend. What did you expect?” Caitlyn said joking and then you both sputtered on a laugh. “So…what’re you thinking then?”

“I’m thinking that…” You sighed, “I saw how his mom was with his dad…I couldn’t live like that.” You explained. “I want to feel like I have a partner, not a boss at home. I can’t be with someone like that. I can’t.”

“Yeah.” Caitlyn said in understanding, “I mean, if that’s truly how he is then it’s for the best to just let this go.”

“Yeah, it wouldn’t end well.” You agreed “I think we both need to cool off a bit and then talk about it.” You said with a sigh and she agreed with you.

You were in a shit mood now and had wandered into the kitchen to grab yourself a bottle of wine and some of those Trader Joes takis. You were soon back in bed and watching a movie as you got drunk and ate your chips. You had a moment of weakness…and against your better judgement you now went on instagram and searched up Harry. You just wanted to see him going about his day, you missed him and knew he’d be so supportive right now, even seeing his smile would be comforting enough. But what you saw coming up had your heart stirring with envy instead of a fuzzy and warm feeling.

For the first time you felt entirely un-special to him. Just four years prior you’d been at the same fucking Anguillian resort frolicking about on the beaches, lazing around in cabanas, getting day drunk on fruity cocktails, and making love to your hearts content. But there he was again but with another person this time. Well, not just any person, his girlfriend, and it was making your blood boil. Was nothing sacred to this man? Did he have to recycle every single thing to lure another person in?

And then you clicked on a post and decided to just see it all and you sighed as you looked through the images of him, so gorgeously tan and buff swimming in the ocean and the final image was of her getting her pictures taken on the sand while he enjoyed the warmth of the Caribbean Sea.

“She’s not even getting in the water with you?!” You nearly shouted at your phone, “What a fucking waste of a vacation!” You grumbled. “I would get in the water with you.” You mumbled drunkenly, “No, no…I did! We went there and I did get in the water with you, no one could get us out!” You said as your tears started to streak down your face, “And we did take pictures too, a lot of them. But we went to have fun, not just to take pictures at sunset like influencers who’d never been to a beach before…” you said bitterly and then frowned.

“OK, but she’s so pretty of course she’s having her fucking picture taken instead of getting in the water with you.” You sighed in defeat. “Also it’s her fucking vacation too, so she can do what she wants with her time…” you said to yourself, rationalizing her choices and deciding not to take out your frustration with Seb on her. “I’m not being a girl’s girl right now.” You scolded yourself for your harsh judgements.

You didn’t even know each other so you had no idea how she was or what her intentions could be at all. But if Harry was with her then she had to be nice and sweet, something that you just weren’t any more. You weren’t being nice when you kissed Harry despite you both being in relationships. You weren’t nice or sweet when you blew up on Sebastian earlier and felt and thought bad things about his family. Instead you were full of spite and sadness. You felt stuck in a loop of negativity that would never end. You were lost, but you didn’t want to be. You wanted to be like you were when you were with Harry. Happy, confident, full of hope…you wanted that back. You were crying so hard and were so drunk after having half a bottle of wine that you just tuckered yourself out.

********

“Tempt fate with me, love. Just one more time.” You heard Harry’s voice purring lowly. You were covered in goosebumps as you nodded, noses nudging lightly.

“OK.” You agreed easily.

“Yeah?” He asked you, grinning wide.

“Yeah.” You agreed happily.

And then your lips met eagerly with some lingering hesitation. But after your eyes met it completely disappeared and your lips were joining again. And then you were on his lap and his hands were fighting not to grab you in places he shouldn’t, but his resolve melted away quickly and was guiding you over his lap, letting you feel his evident need for you.

Suddenly you glanced down at him and he was naked except his briefs and you were too, just your bra and panties, both of you impatient and fighting to not take it to the next level. You felt harry’s fingers gliding up your back, right up to the clasp of your bra but not daring to remove it, instead opting to just lose himself in your kisses.

“Just…mmm, wanna touch you, baby.” He whined into your lips.

“Then touch me.” You whispered back.

“Can I? Can I really?” He hummed and you nodded. He was quick to unclasp your bra and bring his hands forward to cup your breasts. When his kisses trailed down to your chest, you leaned back and let him lick at your nipple teasingly before just sucking your perked up little bud between his lips. You were getting so wet for him, grinding down harder and with more intent.

“Please…I need you. I’ve missed you.” You whimpered and he grinned up at you.

“I’ve missed you too. So fucking much.” He said quietly, “What if he comes home and-”

“Then we should be quick.” You panted and he nodded. Magically, his briefs were gone and he was guiding his hard, thick length to your entrance, holding it up so that you could sit over him and get him inside of you, “Can I?”

“Please. Yes, go.” He rushed out and you both moaned in ecstasy and relief at being connected this way once again.

You rode him slowly, getting used to feeling him deep in your guts like this from how big he was. He was panting and kissing at your neck, his fingers gripping your ass tight as he helped you move over him in ways that were beneficial to the both of you. You picked up your pace then, needing to hurry things along and he groaned against your throat.

“Fuck Y/N, you’re so fucking good.” He mumbled, “Missed you…missed your body, s’my favorite body, baby.” He muttered as he sloppily kissed your neck, “Gonna make me come. But I want t’come inside, can I?”

“Har, I-I don’t know…” you winced as he held you down, his cock impaling deep inside of you. “What about your-”

“Forget everyone else.” He interrupted, “We’re here now, s’just us. It’s us.” He appealed as he started to thrust up.“Don’t tell me you don’t want it like that.” He said, “I know you, love. Know you better than you know yourself.” He mumbled and you choked on a moan as he started to rub your clit.

“Yes, yes please come inside me.” You begged, finally giving in to what it is you wanted.

“Yeah, you want it inside you, my sexy little slut?” He questioned and you moaned and confirmed.

“Yeah, of course you do. You’re a filthy fucking home wrecker, you know that?” He muttered and when you glanced down it wasn’t Harry anymore, it was Sebastian. “Gonna throw me away like that and go after him, aren’t you?” He asked and suddenly you felt stuck in a bad way.

“Please just…” your pleasure was fading fast. He wasn’t fucking you. He was actually fully dressed, just holding you still in his lap and you were stuck there. Still fully naked though, to signify your shame over lusting after Harry.

“You’ve fucked it up with me and now you’re gonna go fuck up his life too. You selfish, greedy bitch.” He seethed with spite.

************

And that’s when you woke up and immediately started crying again. Already, your head was pounding with inhumane levels of pain from the wine you’d drank the night before. But also the shame you felt for your thoughts the night before…it was monumental and sitting on your chest heavily. You felt like you needed to apologize to them for it, that’s how guilty you felt.

Obviously, you missed Harry. You hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since you’d seen each other late last year. You hadn’t even spoken since! He hadn’t made any moves to rekindle the friendship between you as much as you had insisted that that’s what it was all about. Maybe he saw you and just got lost reminiscing the old days, but when he got back home to his girlfriend and his friends he realized that everything was exactly as it should’ve been. Maybe he needed to be with you to verify whether he was going down the right path now and clearly, he was. But you were just lost…so terribly lost.

************

It was a few days later when Sebastian finally came around to talk about your relationship and he was the one to hit you with the break up speech right off the bat. He made it seem like it was all your fault for not being more accommodating to his needs as a man. You had no idea what he meant by that, but you were in no condition or place to argue with him because you had wronged him. He did go off a bit about how he should’ve listened to his sisters and dumped you the moment you came back from their house. He was angry at you for not wanting to change or make compromises for him even though it was your job as the woman to look after him and your home and that’s when you lost your shit.

“THIS ISN’T YOUR HOME, SEBASTIAN!” You shouted with anger boiling over and he stopped talking, “It’s my fucking house! My house. I bought it with my money! I didn’t buy this house because I was planning a future in it with you! I just wanted a place of my own! That’s it! We weren’t even together when I got the house! What makes you feel like you have any sort of ownership over it or me?! You come here to do laundry and charge and wash your car, using my resources without ever even pitching in. You eat my food and use my AC in the summer-”

“Well you know I don’t have the same amenities at my apartment and-”

“Then tell your mom and dad to get you a better one!” You shouted and he frowned, “You’re spoiled and inconsiderate and completely helpless, Sebastian. I can’t be with a person who can’t hold their own or even bother to google what the symbols mean on the tags of your fucking clothes so that you don’t shrink them in the dryer!”

“Well you already know so I was calling you so that you could tell me-”

“I was busy with my fucking label rep! I couldn’t pick up the phone. But the fucking point is that, like you, at some point I didn’t know! I didn’t know a lot of things! So I had to grow the fuck up and figure them out for myself! And that’s the problem with you, you don’t try to figure things out, you don’t face any problems or obstacles, you just back yourself into a corner, telling yourself that you don’t know! You make everyone else jump in and sort things out the second an inconvenience arises for you.” He was pouting now.

“Is that really how you see me? A spoiled man-child who can’t do things for themselves?”

“Yes.” You said and he chuckled.

“Who changed your tire when you got a flat? Who mows your fucking lawn when the landscapers can’t make it-”

“I can change a fucking tire, Seb! And I can mow a lawn! It’s not fucking rocket science! You insisted on doing those things for me because you said I “wouldn’t do them right”, don’t forget that detail.” You said and he shook his head.

“Well, no one ever wants to be with a know it all so…fuck you.” He said before leaving your house with a loud slam of the front door.

All you could feel was relief. It was like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders and you just wanted to run. So you did, you called up Caitlyn and you drove down to the beach and just ran and ran along the shore until you were shivering from the cold and could hardly feel your nose and lips. You were panting, struggling to take in a nice deep breath as you guys dropped down into the sand. Caitlyn being in much better shape than you wasn’t nearly as winded.

“How much did we run? Like two miles?” You asked as you swallowed thickly and she laughed.

“Try a 3/4’s of a mile…maybe a full one.” She said and you groaned and just let yourself fall back into the sand and stared up at the sky, it was slowly growing darker. You could feel your legs tingling a bit from the constant running, and as you laid there, letting all of your feelings from the past few weeks process you stopped feeling cold. “Want some water?”

“You brought water?”

“Yeah, my camelback.” She said and took it off and handed it to you. You thanked her and sucked some out of the straw before handing it back. “You good?”

“I don’t know…” you said monotonously, “No, actually.”

“Mmmm, I have a joint?” She said and you chuckled.

“Light her up.” You mumbled and she smiled and did just that.

Soon she was laying back as well as she handed you the joint while she blew out the hit she’d taken. You took your hit as well, holding just a little bit because you were so bad at smoking and it was also bad for you as a singer. You still choked on it and shot up, snatching the water from Caitlyn as she giggled at you.

“God…” you groaned before laying back down, “You know, I saw pictures of Harry on vacation with Taylor the other day…internet stalking is the fucking worst, you know that? Why would you want to do that to yourself?” You asked Caitlyn.

“Mmmm, so nothing catches you by surprise. Or at least that’s what I like about it. I mean, if it’s just speculation at least you have that possible scenario in your head and you can process it before it’s just shoved in your face randomly, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess…I was judging her for not swimming in the ocean with Harry.” You said and then started laughing, “I don’t know why that particular thing pissed me off so much!” You laughed and Caitlyn did too, “Like what’s so fucking special about swimming that just triggered me…so ridiculous.” You mumbled.

“Just a bit…” she said.

“I think I’m starting to realize that…nothing about us was really special. Like we did all the things they do now just in secret…it’s like…I’m watching my relationship with him being reenacted.” You said with welled up eyes, but you didn’t cry this time. “It’s…it’s so weird.” You hummed and then you were silent for a few minutes, passing the joint back and forth.

“Wanna hear a rumor I heard?” Caitlyn said and you turned to her in interest, “I heard from Mer that-”

“Mer Winston? You’re still friends?”

“Oh yeah, we talk all the time.” Caitlyn confirmed, “But she said that they got in a huge fight before Christmas, he came over and had this whole venting session with them over lunch one day. And she said that H had a lot of making up to do if he wanted to make it work with her.”

“I hope that wasn’t my fault.” You mumbled.

“Maybe he decided to tell her about meeting up with you.”

“Maybe…” you sighed, “We haven’t talked at all or anything like that. It was part of the deal. If things were meant to happen then they would.” You said and Caitlyn hummed.

“Maybe it’s like an apology vacation…”

“Who knows, but like…they’re there now so whatever…”

“Harry’s a bit annoying though, isn’t he? Like clingy if I recall? Like lanky ass wrapped around you all the fucking time, no?” Caitlyn asked and you chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah, sounds about right…”

“Then why wasn’t he clinging to her? I saw the pictures too, by the way…” she added and you chuckled.

“Maybe he was? But he gets nervous when he knows people are watching.” You explained. “And besides, you should be the voice of reason here, not the conspiracy theorist!” You reprimanded and she chuckled as she handed you the last bit of the joint and you declined.

“Sorry, it’s the weed.” She said and you sighed.

“Well I’m not feeling shit.” You said, still completely sober.

“You’re not doing it right, s’why.” She laughed and you huffed.

“Damaging my lungs for nothing…” you muttered.

“I assure you with how shallow your inhales are that shit didn’t reach your lungs.” She cackled and she couldn’t stop from there.

You walked back to where you parked with your arms linked together as you talked about other things. You were fine now, you just needed to get all the emotions out of your system. And well, just because your relationship had ended it didn’t mean that Harry was meant for you. Or you for him. All this meant was that Sebastian wasn’t right for you and you weren’t right for him. And as you walked along the shore you decided that you weren’t going to seek Harry out, you were going to forget about the little deal you made yourselves, that was just wishful thinking and you couldn’t set yourself up for disappointment like that. He was just so far away, it wasn’t cute, it wasn’t realistic, it was just sadistic and psychologically damaging. If you love someone you let them go.

“I know this is so gross but I have to use the bathrooms here before they close.” Caitlyn said and you chuckled and nodded and she took off for the bathrooms. You just wandered back to the concrete wall that separated the pavement from the sand. The sun was just about to disappear and it felt so perfectly poetic. It was cathartic, thinking of him while the sun set second by second. And when the last little sliver started to fade you smiled and exhaled shakily before whispering.

“Bye, Harry.”

*************

The news of your breakup with Sebastian had come swiftly to the public as the very next day Seb released a statement via an Instagram post asking for “privacy in this difficult time”. It was interesting to you because he was the one who did the dumping. But then the questions started pouring in from your manager and publicists and you confirmed that you’d broken up and explained why and they decided that they would not give him the satisfaction or even an acknowledgement with a confirmation to the media.

You did get papped outside of your preferred grocery store the week after he announced the break up and you believed it was to do with the fact that you nor your team had done a thing to acknowledge his announcement. You had a strict plan for grocery shopping as to prevent being papped or seen by too many people and the one person who knew that apart from Caitlyn was him. So it was about 9 at night and the paps were bombarding you with questions about this break up as you unloaded your groceries into the car and all you said was “Yep, Seb broke up with me.” with a bright smile. You wanted to give “Nicole Kidman divorced from psycho cult follower, Tom Cruise” vibes. You felt like you’d escaped a super shitty future. You were sure he could find someone who would happily be all the things he wanted them to be for him, but that’s certainly not what you wanted from a relationship. You did wish him well, but that was all there was to it.

Unfortunately for Sebastian, his plot with the paps backfired a bit. People were pointing out that you seemed happy and relieved about the breakup as you just carried on with life. And then that turned into speculations that he wrote that post on instagram for some compassion from the public since he had broken up with you. And yeah, that was all true, but you weren’t going to fuel the fire. The public could be your bestest friend of your greatest foe, so it was better not to try and involve the masses when possible. That’s something you had learned from Harry, regardless of whether things were good or bad, the public always had something to say and the best thing to do was not to give them any ammunition.

*************

Harry’s POV:

Harry had heard about your break up through the grapevine and his first instinct was to check up on you. It’d been a few days and he was still teetering on the edge of whether he should or not, he’d have to go through some lengths to do so, but he wanted to. Admittedly, he was already on thin ice…

When he got back from LA he was just really in his head about everything and when Tay asked what was up he was honest with her. Except the kiss, he didn’t tell her about the kiss. But he shared with her that he asked to see you. He told her that he chose to stay longer in hopes to see you again. He was honest about why he didn’t want to tell her that he wanted to hang out with you. He was honest about how much shit it stirred up in him to have run into you. Obviously, she was pissed at him, even said it was probably over, he had never seen her angry before but it came at him strong and she was gone for a few days. That’s when he took advantage to talk about all this to someone else, so he made his way over for lunch with Ben and Meredith and told them all of it.

Once it was off his chest he reached out to fix things with his girlfriend. And while she agreed to work through this with him there had been a lot of conditions given until he regained the trust that he had broken. She wanted him to remove your number from his phone because as she’d put it, he had no business trying to talk to you while you were in a relationship and while he was in a relationship. He genuinely couldn’t argue with that logic so he did right there in her face so that she could see for herself. She also wanted to understand what it was about you that made him suddenly lose all his self control. And against his better judgment he told her about you and he saw for himself how the more he spoke, the bigger the hole he dug for himself.

The holidays were a little weird, there was still some tension and it was good that she got to be around his family to distract a bit from all the hurt and anger that was still lingering beneath the surface. So when the new year came by he suggested they get out of town, have a nice little change of pace to start out their year together. And now here they were, he had just seen another post about you and Sebastian being over and he just needed to check.

“Mate, d-do you think you can reach out to Jen and get Y/N’s number?” Harry asked Tom quietly.

“Jen?”

“Yeah, Jen Lockley, her manager.” He said and Tommy sighed.

“I know that I work for you, but this is stupid, H. Is this really something you want to be doing? Especially with the situation you’re in right now.” He admonished.

“Look, her boyfriend just broke up with her, I just want to make sure she’s OK.” He explained and Tommy sighed and pulled out his phone and was typing something up before handing his phone over. It was a video of you getting papped, smiling bright as you confirmed the break up.

“She’s fine.” He assured.

“OK.” He sighed.

“Why is she so happy about it?” Tommy asked.

“I don’t know…maybe if I talked to her I’d know.”

“So this has nothing to do with you?” He asked.

“No! I just came and asked you for her number! If that’s not an act of desperation, I don’t know what is…”

“So what are you trying to do here? Are you not as happy as you let on or what?”

“I am, I just…I miss her. She was my best friend, you know? I was rocked when I saw her. I didn’t expect to feel as much as I did. I couldn’t help that, running into her was out my control.” He explained

“Yeah, I get that. But look, you’ve got someone really great right in front of you.”

“I know that…s’just, different. She’s a different person.” Harry said, “Which is great, it’s just…different.” He said again.

“Was that relationship the one that like…changed everything?” He asked and Harry nodded. Tommy had been working with Jeffrey for a while, but he and Harry only started getting close after Jeffrey and Glenne got married, he wasn’t with you by then anymore. So he hadn’t really seen your relationship like everyone else had.

“Yeah. I wanted to marry her. Have a baby with her, everything. We met when I was still in the band, she’s was there for the whole transition out of it, she helped me with my songs for my first album…we grew up together, you know? Challenged each other, encouraged each other.”

“And you ended it because?”

“We were both way too busy, we hardly had time to see each other during the last 2 years we were togther. We were doing extreme things just to have a weekend together, you know? It was draining and exhausting for the both of us so ummm…we just decided to end it.”

“Well, regardless of how you feel now, it’s over H. I just don’t want you to…to look past what you have now just because you’re clinging to the past.”

“Well what if she’s in my future?” He asked and Tommy sighed.

“If that’s really how you feel then what are you doing here with someone else? What’s the point? Just killing time until you can have the person you want?”

“It’s not like I don’t love Tay, I just…also love Y/N. I think I’ll always love her and I’ll always wonder about her. She’s the one that…got away, so it’s always going to be like this.”

“Does your girlfriend know that?”

“I think she’s starting to figure it out…” Harry sighed.

“Well if that’s how it is you still need to focus on the relationship you’re in now. You have nothing going on with Y/N, not even a friendship, so you need to be present. Turn a new page, like you promised.”

“I will. I will.” He repeated, almost as if trying to convince himself more than Tommy.

Tommy could understand why it was hard for Harry to just move on when he felt like the person that was his person was slowly pulling further and further from his reach. He believed that you could be torn between two people, love more than one person at a time, but not everyone accepted that kind of love or relationship. He didn’t think Harry would start a full blown affair with you, but for some it was worse in a way, knowing that their partner felt love for them and someone else. It couldn’t be easy for Taylor to come to terms with that; especially if she wasn’t aware that Harry even had the ability to love this way. Or that there was someone who had the ability to affect him that much that wasn’t her.

“I know this is fucking unfair of me but I really just have no control over these feelings, mate. I saw her again and it hit me like a fucking train that I love her, you know? It’s weird for me too to suddenly have all these different feelings for someone else when I thought I had moved on; it was unexpected. I even…love her in a different way than I do Taylor.” Harry explained with a furrowed brow.

“Well don’t say that to her. Ever.” Tommy advised.

“Well, I just think she’s understanding this all wrong…like she thinks that seeing Y/N raised up some conflict or doubts in me about our relationship. That I’m “torn” between options and it’s not that at all. I enjoy our relationship and I love being with her, so much, but it’s not what Y/N and I had. So I’m not looking for that in Tay nor am I comparing her to Y/N at all. Like I love Taylor for Taylor and what she does for me and how we function together. But I also love Y/N for all of what we had and all that we could possibly be. It’s completely separate…she’s still on this “emotional cheating” argument, which I get what she means. But it’s not like I’m looking for something she’s lacking, you know? I’m not even looking for anything else with anyone else. It’s just feelings.”

“Love is a big feeling, H.” Tommy said. “It’s getting messy.”

“I know and like…she just wants me to let it go and move on which is impossible. I can’t just stop loving Y/N on command, you know? If it’s going to happen it’s going to take a lot of time. I mean, I thought I was past all this until we were face to face. Who’s to say that won’t happen again 10 years from now or something?”

“Yeah, I see your dilemma.” Tommy hummed. “I mean, the fact that you deleted her number should be a good start for Tay. Show her that you’re willing to just focus on you two.”

“Yeah…”

“I mean, you get why you guys can’t even be friends, right?”

“Of course, I do. It just…it sucks.” He sighed.

************

Harry didn’t think Taylor would be keeping an eye out for you after he deleted your number, but she was. And it was late and he was tired and a little sunburnt and he just wanted to plop into bed after his cold shower, but the concerned look on her face made him realize that something was about to go down that would prevent him from resting as he hoped.

“What’s the matter, love?” He asked right away instead of waiting for her to get around to stating the problem.

“She broke up with him.” She said to him with a slightly nervous tone.

“Who broke up with who?” He asked, playing dumb.

“Y/N, with Sebastian. My friend just send this to me.” She said turning her phone to him as he came over to the bed. It was a tabloid cover with the news.

“Well good for her, he was kind of a prick.” Harry said as he climbed in.

“So you’re happy about this?”

“If she’s happy about it then yeah. And again, I’m not his biggest fan, so why wouldn’t I be?” He questioned.

“I’m sure she’s doing it for you.” She said with a slightly accusatory tone, “Does that make you happy too?” She asked him, challenging him. Harry sighed and rolled his eyes.

“She’s not doing it for me. When we talked she was telling me that they were having some issues that she was having a hard time getting past. Seems like it was coming. Maybe they both reached their breaking points.” He reasoned. But the thought did cross his mind, was she sending him a sign?

“Harry, I hate feeling this way…” she said, “This isn’t me.” She shook her head, “You know this isn’t me. But I feel…like we’re up in the air.” She repeated and he sighed.

“I’m sorry.” All he could really do was apologize. “You have no reason to feel that way though, babe. I’m not looking for anything with Y/N, love. When I said I still have feelings for her, it’s just that, they’re feelings. But we’re not gonna talk, I’m never gonna see her again-”

“You don’t know that, Harry.” She interrupted.

“Well, not on purpose, I won’t, not if you don’t want me to.” He said and she sighed.

“My whole point is that I shouldn’t have to put restrictions on you, like a child! I should be able to trust that you won’t hurt me.”

“Then trust me. I’m not going to do anything with this.” He assured and she pouted.

“What if you never stop loving her?” She asked him and he sighed.

“Babe, I don’t know…”

“Well what then? I just have to live in her shadow for however long we’re together? What if that’s my whole life?” She asked with a frown and he was getting a bit frustrated that people weren’t understanding that this wasn’t a competition for him.

“Babe, it’s not like that…you’re not in her shadow because you’re never going to be her!” He groaned and she frowned, “Let me finish.You’re not Y/N and Y/N’s not ever going to be you. It’s not a competition…I don’t want you to give me what I had with her. I like what we have now. I’m not comparing, I’m not trying to get pieces of that relationship back through you. They’re two mutually exclusive things! If I continue to be here for you how you need, and I’m faithful, and supportive, and am fulfilling all of those duties we talked about… how do my feelings for her impact us?” He asked.

“See, to me that feels like a cop out.” She said and Harry sighed.

“How?! How on earth?”

“Because you can continue loving her for the rest of your life if you want under this mentality you have! What if loving her from afar stops being enough? I don’t want to share you with someone else! That’s not what I signed up for.”

“You’re not sharing me with anyone!” He groaned.

“See that’s what you’re not getting, Harry. I know you feel you’re not and you can even make the distinction, but I can’t do that, H. I don’t function that way. How do I know that one day your mind won’t change and you’ll want to be with her instead of me since you’ve kept this channel open?” She asked.

“My feelings for you can start to change at any given moment for any number of reasons that are completely unrelated to Y/N, so-”

“You’re a dick.” She said and got out of bed and just locked herself in the bathroom.

He tried to explain what it was he was trying to convey but Tommy was right, this was getting messy. She said she’d only come out when he was out of the bedroom so he made his way to the general area of the large condo style suite they’d rented out at the resort and just laid on the couch. If there was an off-switch to loving you, Harry would’ve made use of it ages ago. It wasn’t easy to love someone who life kept pushing out of your reach. He just loved you

from afar, he reckons he always would.

…. February 2024 ….

You were at your wits end with Sebastian. It took him about a month of you two being broken up before he started trying to spark things up between the two of you again. You wanted to believe it was because he’s considered his antiquated (in your opinion) expectations of you, but your gut told you it had more to do with the fact that you were what gave him more exposure. You hadn’t really run into him anywhere during awards season or even any parties, though he had been persistent to talk to you. You’d declined and rejected him so many times, yet once again, you got home from the studio to see your assistant had left yet another fresh bouquet of roses on the console table you had by the door. You sighed and grabbed the little card that was tucked in among the greenery.

Thinking of you today, Y/N. I hope we can talk or see each other soon. I’ll be waiting.

- XO, Seb

You sighed as you picked out the little card and crumbled it in your hand. Now you had a dozen red roses you had no use for. It irked you quite a bit, like everything was though as of late. This foulness of your mood was brought on by the visit of a mutual friend a few weeks prior. They were based in London though, so you hadn’t seen each other face to face in at least three year. But when you met up, they talked about your old circle in London, and obviously that led to the mentioning of Harry and how happy he was with Taylor. They said that the pair had been traveling together a lot, and just really immersing themselves in what they had going on. Hearing that solidified your decision to just steer clear of anything that had to do with Harry. Especially if he was really focused on making things work in his current relationship, as he should! But this also reminded you that you really needed to move on and not just say you would, like you often did. You slipped out of your loafers and migrated to the kitchen to figure out your dinner when your phone started ringing and you glanced down to see it was one of the guys from the studio.

“Hey Ricky, what’s up?” You asked with some pep.

“Hey Y/N, it’s going good. We’re almost done with the single. Ummm, I was actually calling about something else though. You know how my younger sister’s in a band?” He asked.

“Yeah…” you said as you opened up your fridge.

“So they’re doing this charity concert to raise money for an emergency student fund for students in financial need at UCSD. She asked me to run the sound system and if I could rope in any friends to volunteer for the main performance last minute? They’ve got a few local bands and singers lined up and them plus a surprise guest is what they hoped. But the surprise guest decided to drop out since they weren’t going to be paid.”

“What an ass.”

“I know, they knew about it too! It’s for charity!” He said, “Obviously, they’re at a loss and don’t want the event to flop. I told my sister she had one favor a year and she called it. So I was wondering if-”

“Oh my god, you don’t even have to ask. It’s for a good cause! When is it?” You asked.

“It’s going to be on March 9th, it’s a Saturday, at the SDSU amphitheater.” He shared and she pulled her phone away to put him on speaker and look at her calendar.

“Ummm, I don’t believe I have anything lined up for that weekend…yeah, no. I’m all clear so I can definitely participate.” You assured.

“Seriously?!” Ricky asked in disbelief, “Like they can’t pay anything though. The school pitched in for some thank you gifts, that’s all.” He said and you chuckled.

“No problem. I would love to help out.”

“You’re a saint! Let me text you her information so that you can reach out to her and get the lowdown on all this.”

“Sounds good.”

“Thank you, Y/N. Seriously, thank you so much! You’re the tenth person I’ve called.” Ricky confessed.

“Ummm?” You exclaimed, face twisted in full offense, “I’m offended that I’m the tenth choice.” You chuckled, “Unless you were like calling in personal favors from like Lana or Rihanna.” You added and he chuckled.

“No…I just know you’ve been going through a bit emotionally lately, so I didn’t want to rope you into anything last minute and burden you with anything else.” He explained.

“Oh, I’m up for anything that involves singing.” You assured him and he chuckled.

“Well thank you, she’s going to be so happy about this. She’s kind of a fan…” Ricky sighed in relief and you chuckled.

“Anytime. See you tomorrow?”

“Yep. Have a good night.”

“I will. And Ricky, don’t stay too late, please.” You said and he chuckled.

“I’ll try…” he mumbled and you both chuckled before hanging up.

…. MARCH 2024 ….

Time had flown by and you had rehearsed with Alondra, Ricky’s sister, and her band the weekend before the show. You’d actually spent the weekend with them, at Marisol, their drummer’s house. You’d all slept over and they took you around to some of the low-key spots in the area. You really enjoyed spending the weekend with them, Marisol’s parents were so sweet and hospitable. But on Sunday afternoon you moved to an AirBnB that was closer to the campus and would provide you all plenty of space and privacy to rehearse later in the week. Ricky drove up on Tuesday night with Caitlyn and Melissa to stay with you for the rest of the time as well.

On Friday night you were doing your rehearsal/soundcheck at the amphitheater right before the city’s noise curfew. This was because there weren’t as many people on campus around at that hour and a larger area had already been blocked off from public access for the event. So thankfully you guys finished that quite fast and Ricky had all your settings down for the following day.

“You guys sounded so good.” Ricky assured as his arm draped around Alondra’s shoulder as you guys rallied up on the now cleared stage.

“Yeah?” She asked and he nodded with pride.

“OK, so are we getting drinks or what?” Their keyboard player, Pablo interrupted, “I need something to distract me, please.” He mumbled and you frowned, you had no idea what was wrong, but going out to get shit faced before a gig day was a poor idea.

“Well in the interest of ensuring you don’t feel like shit tomorrow, we can go to the house? We have a pool and hot tub, and I know Caitlyn has weed on her, and we can get drinks and order food?” You suggested.

“You’re really just giving away your friend’s weed?” Pablo chuckled.

“I can get her more.” You chuckled, “What do you guys say?” You wanted to ensure that whatever had Pablo so worked up didn’t make him lose control.

“I like it, let’s do it.” Alondra said and with that you were making your way over to the AirBnB.

After making your purchases and just ordering some pizza’s you guys were all hanging out in the patio enjoying the refreshing breeze of the night. Pablo was definitely a little crossed and looking quite bummed out. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, but didn’t want to seem nosy. So you headed inside to find Alondra, she had gone in to get herself some water.

“Hey, what’s wrong with Pablo?” You asked as you came into the kitchen.

“Oh, he found out that his ex-girlfriend is now dating one of the guys from another band that will be playing tomorrow, he saw her name on their guest list. They haven’t seen each other since the break up which actually was maybe a year ago. It was just a really sad time for him.” She explained quietly.

“Oh…yeah, running into an ex can be weird after so long.” You shared from personal experience.

“Yeah, they’d been together since high school, so I think the relationship had just run its course and she knew it, but he didn’t see it like that. He talked about marrying her and having kids with her all the time and she’s so sweet, but he was just really giving up on everything else to stay with her and she didn’t want that for him, so she ended it before he sacrificed too much, you know?”

“Yeah, I know how that is…” you assured. And suddenly you heard a familiar song play loudly from the outside…

“No hard feelings honey

There’ll be no bad blood

Losing your love has been hard enough

Life can be short, but life can be sweet

No hard feelings honey, the next time we meet”

Your heart shriveled in your chest because this song had been played a lot by you. The single had come out maybe a month or two after you and Harry ended things. You’d cried so much to this song, it still made you feel things, clearly. You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard Pablo and Caitlyn all singing along loudly and you and Alondra rushed outside as Ricky smiled at you guys. Pablo was sandwiched between Caitlyn and Jesse, the bassist, as a few tears streamed down his face as he sang the lyrics to “No Hard Feelings”.

“We need to add this to the set list…please!” He sniffled as he stopped singing along, “I learned how to play it a bit ago. Please….” He begged Alondra with tearful, puppy dog eyes.

“I mean, w-we can, but I actually don’t know this song, I don’t think I can get it down by tomorrow.” She explained. Pablo was not a singer, he hated it, so he glanced to Marisol who also was not all that confident in learning the song right now for a performance the next day.

“Y/N?” He turned to you, “Do you know it?” He asked you.

“She does!” Caitlyn cut in, “Sing it with him!” She pouted at you and you glanced to Pablo who looked so hopeful now and you forced a smile.

“I do. I also know the bass part.” You shared and he smiled.

“I just want her to know that I’m glad she’s happy. It hurts, but I’m so happy for her.” He said and everyone hummed in understanding and then Caitlyn’s eyes glanced to yours as you swallowed thickly. ‘SORRY’ she mouthed to you when she realized what she’d done and you just smiled at her to assure her it was fine. Even if it wasn’t, it had to be fine.

The next morning Pablo was up with you, earlier than everyone else, and with some coffee in your hands you got to figuring out an arrangement. Luckily, Ricky had brought along a guitar, bass, and travel sized amp for the work you’d be doing during the week and so you practiced on that. There was a piano in the house, so Pablo practiced on that for now. You were both so familiar with the song that it was so fast to get an arrangement set and for your guys to get it down. You had agreed on starting out the first verse/chorus with the keyboard like in the lullaby version and then you’d come in with the bass and transition into the regular studio version. You went over it a handful of times before deciding that it was perfect.

And so far, it was going perfect, the concert was sold out and the bands were doing great. People were singing along and having a nice time. You didn’t get nervous so much anymore, but it nearing the end of the show and you were waiting back stage to have Alondra call you out to play alone with Pablo.

“Thank you everyone.” Alondra spoke into the mic, “Before we wrap it up, we have just a couple more songs for you guys.” she said and the crowd cheered, “Thanks, you guys are great. Now, we’re going to bring Y/N out one more time for a special song with Pablo.” and upon mentioning your name the crowd started to cheer louder, “We hope you like this one.” She smiled and moved away from the mic.

Jesse took off his bass and handed it to you. You got it on as you walked further onto the stage. You smiled as you got it in a comfortable position and glanced to Pablo who nodded that he was ready to go. You felt your stomach swirling with nerves and nostalgia, but you had to use that to push forward. You let out a long exhale as you gave the bass a couple plucks to test the volume in your earpiece and when that was good you walked up to mic properly.

“Please be gentle with this one.” You said softly and then glanced back to Pablo and gave him one more nod as you inhaled and started to sing.

You faintly heard some gasps and coos when people recognized what you were singing before everyone fell mostly silent and just listened. The entire amphitheater started to light up with flashlights from people’s phones, making the moment feel magical as well as solemn as you sang through the first two verses. When you got to the instrumental you angled yourself towards Pablo to be able to see his cues. You then turned back to the mic as you guys got ready for the final verse, you eased out of playing the bass and went back to just Pablo playing the keyboard, letting his final note resonate as you took a deep breath as you leaned into the mic. And when your eyes shut gently to envision the words Harry’s face appeared and you knew your facade would crumble.

“The threads that kept us together were already wearing thin…” your voice faded into breathy whisper as a huge knot formed in your throat. Pablo noticed and you swallowed thickly and he slowed his tempo to let you get to the next part, “Would we ever have tied the knot? Well how long is a piece of string?” You sang sweetly as your tears started to silently streak down your face. “And for everything that ends, something else must begin…” Your voice cracked as you inhaled shakily to finish the song. The crowd cheered you on, giving you the courage to finish the song, “No hard feelings, honey. And we both will take the win.” You finished softly and you quickly turned away from the mic as a sob escaped you. The audience was so kind and generous with you two as an also crying Pablo came up and hugged you tight.

“You were so good…thank you for doing this for me.” He hummed before he let you go. Your hands squeezed his and you nodded and smiled at him before waving and walking off stage for the final time. You couldn’t even hear Alondra’s final thanks as you hurried down the steps to find a place to be alone and cry it out for just a bit before you had to face everyone again.

**************

You kind of felt like an idiot for agreeing to sing this song with Pablo over the weekend because the performance had gone viral overnight. Then, first thing Monday, the university’s media department posted a full length, HQ video of it. Obviously, the story was that you delivered such an emotional and beautiful performance because your break up with Sebastian was so fresh. A bunch of reporters and blogs had reached out for commentary and you had declined, of course. That didn’t stop Sebastian from reaching out several times trying to reconcile things between you two. It had all been turned into one big, chaotic, and raging dumpster fire.

Noticing the chaos that had ensued from his performance you were invited out to a wine bar with a couple friends just to loosen up. And on your way out you were swarmed by a small group of paparazzi, and as you tried to get through, one of the paps asked about how you were actually coping with the break up because you had seemed happy about it before. Then, another asked if the performance was for Sebastian. Maybe it was because you were a bit drunk, but you decided to give a response because you didn’t want to keep encouraging Seb.

“Look, that song is just special to me, it has been for years. And performing it kind of transported me back to that time of my life where it was my lifeline.” You explained, “There’s a lot of history with this song and a lot of feelings I had been holding in for a while came out during the performance, that’s all.” You explained, “I promise, I’m fine and everything’s good with the break up.” You assured before being tugged away by Ricky to his car as he muttered something about you not owning anyone any explanations.

****************

HARRY’S POV:

Harry was sure that everything had been going well between him and Taylor. He really had focused on her and on them and things had been going great. She had been back to her old self and then at some point over the weekend something shifted because she was a bit annoyed again and it only got worse during the week. Harry figured it was something personal because he was pretty sure that he had done nothing to illicit any type of irritation from her. But he could see she was having a hard time with not taking out any frustration on him so he decided to ask, just in case.

“Babe, is everything alright?” He asked as he strolled into the entertainment room, she’d been in there reading after dinner. When she glanced up he was met with an exasperated and somewhat angry expression and he wished he had left it alone, “Have I done something?” He followed up as he sat at the edge of cushion with her legs on it. “Please tell me if I have, I thought we were doing good.” He said as one of his hands smoothed up her ankle to her knee, this was to placate both him and her. He really needed to know because he felt like he was walking on eggshells the last few days.

“No, H. You’re…good. I’m sorry, I’m just really trying my best not to take my frustration out on you for something that I know isn’t really your issue-”

“OK, well what is it? Maybe I can help.” He offered.

“No, it’s super insignificant and stupid…”

“I think not if it has you in this state, babe.” He countered her logic. “C’mon, let me help you.” He insisted and she shook her head.

“Trust me, Harry, you don’t need to know about this.” She assured. That made him a bit annoyed because whether she meant to or not, she was being weird with him and he wanted it to stop.

“Well I think I do. You’re trying not to take it out on me but you’re still acting strange and cold and are super irritable anyway so-”

“It’s freaking Y/N, OK!?” She finally said, voice raised and laced with irritation. Harry frowned and now his anger was aimed at you. Had you said something to Taylor? He couldn’t see a world in which you would, but maybe you had. And well whatever it was, it had to have been really personal for her to be reacting like this and being upset over it for days now.

“OK? Did she do or say something to you?” He asked and she sighed.

“No…not directly, but she…she’s doing a bad job at fixing that stunt she pulled over the weekend and-”

“What? What stunt?” He asked. He really had completely blocked out anything about you because he didn’t want to make Taylor feel like he was keeping tabs on you or his options open. So he truly had no idea what you had done or were up to recently.

“She sang at some college charity show and she sang this song…but she did it on purpose because the song’s about you! It’s a break up song about seeing your ex again!” She insisted. Harry’s curiosity was piqued. What song had you sang that she was so sure it was about him?

“Maybe it was about her recent break up, babe.” He tried to think of anything else that would make her let this go and not worry about it so much.

“Not according to what she told the paparazzi yesterday.” She added and Harry sighed but couldn’t prevent the chuckle that slipped past his mouth.

“Oh my god, love…since when do we care about anything the paps have to say? Hmmm?” He asked and she sighed.

“There’s video.” She informed. “I’ve seen it…multiple times, much to my misfortune” she shared and upon hearing this Harry felt defeat overcome him. He needed to choose his next words carefully, because it was something that might upset her further, but she needed to hear.

“Look, I know you have every right to be wary of this and even to doubt me, but babe, this has gone too far. Way too far.” Harry stated his concern and she sighed, the same defeated look over her face.

“I know, babe. I know it has.” She admitted.

“I just…I’m trying to understand it, babe.” He sighed with confusion, “All this time I’ve been putting all of my focus on us and improving our relationship, like I told you I would. And honestly, t’s feeling like you hardly notice or care for it all because all you do is obsess over my ex!” He explained his feelings, evidently quite forlorn.

“The ex you still love, H.” She reminded him of that pertinent detail. Harry nodded in understanding and scoffed out a defeated laugh.

“Tay, I can’t do anything else to prove to you that I love you and am committed to you. I feel like I’m losing my mind trying to get you to just be here again. Please, just be here with me.” He beckoned she blinked rapidly as she drew her eyes up to the ceiling.

“I feel like I’m losing my mind too.” She confessed softly, “I promise I’m trying to move past this, H. I am. But honestly, I’m starting to think that maybe I just…can’t.” she confessed and he nodded silently. “I see the effort, babe. Thank you for it, I appreciate it, I promise you, I do.” She insisted, “I just…kind of wish you had never said anything to me about this…” she confessed. Harry was feeling that way too. He should’ve just made something up about why he was acting strange.

“I think I’m just going t’go to bed. Sleep on it, hopefully wake up feeling a bit more optimistic about this than today.” She said and he nodded as she got up from he couch.

“I love you, sleep well.” He said. She leaned over him and kissed his forehead and gave him a smile before leaving him alone.

Harry felt super shit now. He had fucked up a catastrophic amount. He truly did regret being honest about the situation with you. He should’ve kept it to himself because now things were just getting weird. Sure, he was a bit annoyed with Taylor’s recent hobby of stalking you, but he couldn’t blame her or label her insane for it, he had done that to her. And for the first time he truly questioned what it was that he had gone and done with you. She didn’t deserve to doubt herself or their relationship like she was now. They were both having a miserable time and it was entirely his fault. He wasn’t sure what to do from here, he didn’t even know if there was anything he could do to help fix this.

*************

It took Harry a few days before he decided to look up the videos Taylor was talking about to see for himself why she was struggling so much to let this one go. But when he saw the video of you singing “No Hard Feelings” with so much emotion he knew it had nothing to do with Sebastian. He had to force down the growing lump in his throat and blink away the tears accumulating in his eyes, this felt like a goodbye from you almost and it confused him. The emotion was definitely tangible even weeks later though a screen, he could understand why it was haunting Taylor. And then he saw the pap video she mentioned, he couldn’t agree that what you had said was damning evidence, but if she felt that way, what could he do? He wasn’t going to tell her he watched them. They did make him want to call you though, but of course he’d leave it alone and decided against it, both for his and Taylor’s sake.

Instead, he called Caitlyn, he needed to see what in the world you had been thinking when you decided to do that. He was genuinely curious. Of course, he first texted her to let her know he wanted to talk when she could. He didn’t want to just spring a call on her and risk you being there. And finally, the time they had agreed to talk had come and she was calling him. He strolled out to his back yard, taking advantage of the evening breeze while Taylor got ready. They were going to Mitch and Sarah’s place for dinner in a bit.

“Hey, Har!” Caitlyn greeted him energetically for her time of day.

“Hiya.” He greeted, “You sound chipper.”

“Just came in from a jazzercise class.” She explained and he chuckled.

“Oh shit, did it go well?”

“Yeah. It was really fun. How are you? How’s it going?”

“I’m alright, but it’s been a bit…tough.”

“Did something happen?”

“Well I told Taylor about seeing Y/N, so I’ve been making up for that…but I guess there was a show a couple weeks ago and she sang a song that has her a bit upset. She feels like Y/N did it on purpose I guess, to like…bait me in or something. And then she said some bit about it being important to her in the past and that’s kind of what…made Tay just lose it a bit.” He explained and Caitlyn hummed.

“Well, the song wasn’t to bait you, it’s kind of my fault she ended up singing it. The guy she played it with found out his ex was going to be at the show with someone else just the night before and he wanted to sing it for her. It was very last minute…she was the only one who knew the song well enough to pull it off with him the very next day. I volunteered her and put her in a difficult position where she couldn’t really decline…I knew she knew the song because she did listen to it a lot after…I didn’t know it would…affect her like that though.” She explained sadly, “I’m sorry it caused trouble for you, H.” Caitlyn apologized.

“It’s alright, Cait.” He assured. Now that he understood the context he felt relieved. He knew you weren’t a petty person like he could be, and he was a bit upset at himself for even considering that you would actually do something on purpose to bait him or cause turmoil in his relationship.

“I just feel awful…as you probably know now, she’s gone viral for it and it’s caused her some problems. It was such a vulnerable moment that she didn’t expect either so I know she hates that it’s kind of blown her up a bit.”

“I mean, she sounded incredible and it was just so sincere. Of course everyone’s obsessed with it.” He said with understanding.

“Yeah. She just feels really exposed, I think. And also, when she said that to the pap, about it being something form her past, she was super drunk. She called me the next morning asking if it sounded as awful as she felt it did, which I personally don’t think it did. But I mean, I could understand why Tay’s feeling upset about this.” Caitlyn said and Harry nodded.

“Yeah…I just don’t know what I can do to…fix this.”

“That bad?”

“Yeah…a few days ago she said that she wasn’t sure if she could get past all this. I don’t blame her…it’s a lot to get past.”

“Well what did you say to her when you told her about Y/N?”

“I…admitted that I still had feelings for her.” He sighed and Caitlyn did as well, “But like, I didn’t even know that for sure until she was right in my face. Like I knew I missed her, but just being with her again, it just brought everything that I’d been repressing up to the surface. I regret being honest with Tay, about it all.” He sighed, “She regrets it too apparently. Wishes I never said anything.” He added with defeat.

“Well it is quite a lot to get through. Especially if she knows you still have deep feelings for Y/N. It can be scary thinking that you’ve given your whole heart to someone only to discover that you’re not the only one they love.” She explained “She might feel like a place holder until you and Y/N can get back together.”

“Well she’s not. I love her too.”

“I know, but that just doesn’t work for some people, H. Maybe this is what’s supposed to happen.” Caitlyn said and he sighed.

“I never meant to hurt anyone like this…”

“Well, it’s collateral damage. There’s always going to be someone who gets hurt. S’why I was warning you guys to be careful with this.” She reminded and he hummed.

“Did she end things with Seb for me?” He asked after a beat of silence.

“No. They went to his family’s for the holidays and as it turns out they function under this idea that men’s love language is acts of service, as in, women should wait on us hand and foot while we sit around with our dicks in our hands…” she said with some disdain still feeling salty about the whole thing.

“Get out…” he groaned with secondhand embarrassment for the male species as a whole.

“It was a whole thing…his sister’s and mom were talking shit about her for it after the first night. She knew he was babied by his mom, but not that she was like his fucking PA! Either way, when they got back they talked about it and he basically said that she’d ease into it and learn how to treat him and take a more feminine role in their home as their relationship advanced or some shit like that…and she was like “umm, you should be cleaning up after yourself because it’s actually my home”, and he got all sensitive about that, the fucking free loader…” Caitlyn said.

“God…good for her though. I’m glad she stuck up to him.”

“Yeah, and well, he actually broke up with her…she’s not upset about it or anything. Just more annoyed really as now he’s trying to win her back, but she’s just ignoring him.”

“Good. That’s good to hear. When I heard about the break up I wanted to reach out but I can’t.” He explained.

“Yeah, I’m glad you’re seeing that. Especially with the situation you’re in.”

“Well that, but like I literally cannot. Tay asked me to delete her contact in case I got tempted to reach out again and I did, so I don’t even have her number anymore.” Harry let out a breathy laugh and after a few moments he inhaled and started to cry. Caitlyn frowned and tutted as she heard him breaking down.

“Harry, hey…” she cooed, “What’s the matter?”

“Ugh…nothing. I think I’ve just been holding that in.” He sniffled, “I kind of hate myself for making Taylor go to these lengths…I know she hates doing that kind of stuff too. And Y/N…god, why is she always on my mind. I can’t shake her, Cait. I just can’t…if I could change my heart I would. I know that it’s hurting us more than helping us.” He sniffled.

“If it helps to know, I think she’s made peace with the fact that you’re with the best person for you.” She said and hearing that physically hurt him, it made his chest tighten up and feel hollow at the same time. “I know it hurts her sometimes but she’s genuinely really happy for you, H. She truly is. So give it your all, yeah? Make this right.” Caitlyn said and he sniffled.

“OK. Thanks, Cait.”

“Anytime, H.” She assured him.

“I know you’re best friends and all, but just keep this between us, yeah?”

“Of course.” She assured, “If there’s anything I can do at all just let me know, OK? Or just listen if you need it.”

“Thank you. Bye.”

“Bye.” She said and they hung up.

Harry felt like a full blown asshole. He had hurt the two people he was in love with and now he had to choose. He had hoped that things cleared up on their own, but they were as murky as ever. It shouldn’t be hard to just choose the person he was with, but it was. It felt like he was losing. Well, who was he kidding, he had already lost you.

…. MAY 2024 ….

It was the night of the MET and you had just finished getting your hair and make up done for one of the after party’s. Caitlyn was your +1 to the parties and was more than excited to be tagging along with you for her first ever met. You’d been invited before, when Harry hosted, but you just laid super low. You even left his after party early because you had a work event in LA the next morning. Being the man of the hour you didn’t really see much of him that entire night. You did kiss him goodbye, but he was balls to the walls high on you weren’t even sure what, and that was that. This time, you were invited without any internal connections, but you were sure it was because you were still riding on that viral wave. You weren’t going to go, you didn’t want to keep calling attention to yourself. But your manager and friends insisted that you needed this, just to have a fun night out without cameras. And well, that was true, there were never cameras at these things, just outside.

“You ready?” Caitlyn asked you as you looked over your reflection one more time.

“If they’re where we are, we’re leaving.” You said and Caitlyn nodded in agreement.

You had been strategic and decided to party hop to decrease the likelihood of you running in Harry and Taylor after learning that they were attending together. You were feeling good, you’d successfully made it through two of the three parties you had been invited to and having a blast. Normally, you’d be dying to get home, but you had taken some E as you were leaving the first party in hopes to have endurance for the next two parties. You felt floaty and happy and tingly under its influence. You could quite literally feel the music around you, the hard hits of the bass tickled from the soles of your feet and up your legs. You were surrounded by people, probably in a similar state as you, dancing through their highs with racing hearts.

And through all the dancing and euphoria you were making out with someone. It was in a dark corner and you had no idea who it was. All you knew was that your mouths were moving together eagerly. Suddenly, you were being tugged away, much to your dismay, because it did feel very nice especially while you were under this high.

“Cait…” you huffed as she apologized to the person you were with as she dragged you away.

“I think it’s time to go.” She said against your ear as she chuckled and you mumbled something about not wanting to go yet. “Babe, I just saw Harry and Taylor across the bar. We should go.” She said to you and that made your heart tighten and ache.

Your smile dropped and you glanced around the busy room. When you heard a British accent behind you, you whipped around hoping to see Harry, but it was someone else. Then, you thought you heard his laugh and you turned in another direction, but maybe it was just in your head. You were at the peak of your high, so things were very murky. And as you looked for Harry, that nice feeling was starting to turn ugly. Caitlyn realized what was happening and grabbed your face in her hands and your gaze met hers for a few seconds.

“Hey, they’re all the way across the room. They’re nowhere near here.” She assured and you nodded.

“I need to use the bathroom before we go.” You said and she nodded.

“OK, c’mon.” She said grabbing your hand and guiding you through the crowd and to the bathroom. “Give me your bag, I’ll call your car. I’ll be right over there by the security check.” She pointed and you nodded a few times as you handed over your purse.

You walked into the bathroom and the white lights over the sink were far too bright for your overly dilated pupils. You hurried into a stall and struggled a bit with getting your dress enough out of the way so you could use the bathroom. And as you sat in the stall alone with your thoughts you started to feel cold and trembly. Your ears were ringing in the relative silence of the bathroom and you felt like the stall was starting to get smaller. You sped things up and hurried out to wash your hands, trying your very hardest to ignore your erratic heartbeat and the churning of your stomach. You didn’t even bother with drying your hands, you just smeared them against your dress as you rushed out of the bathroom. You were ready to get out of this situation before it brought on a full blown bad trip.

But you came to a screeching halt when you saw Harry chatting animately with Rita Ora and Taika Waititi just a few feet away from you. They were laughing, heads knocked back in enjoyment. You were frozen for a few seconds as reality caught up to you and you glanced around for Taylor. She wasn’t in your line of sight yet, you’d wait in the bathroom. You took a few unsteady steps back before deciding that was the best course of action. You twirled around and hurried back, your heart was hammering in your chest and your breathing was completely shallow. You felt your body trembling like a dying leaf in the wind and your stomach was twisting as you stumbled back into the bathroom. Much to your misfortunate, you were met with Taylor drying her hands. You sighed shakily, about to turn back around but she glanced over with a lovely smile, but when she realized it was you it dropped entirely from her face in a moment. You turned around to leave again but then remembered Harry was actually right outside.

“You were with him just now, weren’t you?” She asked you with a frown and disappointment drenching her tone.

You suddenly felt sick to your stomach and you whipped back around and rushed past her into a stall and just started to throw up. You felt completely overwhelmed and overstimulated. Feeling as much as you did now was not to your benefit. But you were more than grateful to hear her footsteps receding as you spat out the sour taste from your mouth. You wiped your mouth with some toilet paper and flushed away your mess, trying your best not to get sick again just from seeing the mess that had come out of you. You were alone now and took your time to rinse your mouth and your hands, hoping they’d go before you had to face them again.

***************

HARRY’S POV:

Harry glanced over to the hallway for the bathrooms to see Taylor coming out with an unreadable expression on her face. He was still smiling from the laugh he had just had with Rita and Taika before they headed out.

“You were with Y/N. Weren’t you?” She asked with an accusatory tone and he looked baffled by this accusation.

“Babe, no. I’ve been standing here this whole time-”

“Well then why did she get one look at me and get sick?” She asked with confusion and a frown on her face. Harry’s face scrunched with concern.

“I didn’t.” He said and she looked skeptical, “I swear!” He insisted and she rolled her lips together for a moment.

“I want to leave.” She said decisively and he nodded.

“OK.” He nodded, “I-is Y/N alright though? Does she need any help or-” Taylor walked off towards the exit leaving him mid sentence. He was reluctant as he followed after her and glanced back down the hallway of the bathroom before rushing after Taylor who was practically out the door now. He was making his way towards the exit when he saw Caitlyn standing by the door on her phone. Surely she’d come along with you. Taylor hurried outside and Harry stopped for a moment to greet Caitlyn.

“Cait!” He called her name and she glanced up and her eyes widened and she glanced around quickly before she smiled at him as he came up and hugged her.

“Hey! How are you?” She asked as they pulled away.

“M'alright. Ummm, Y/N had a run in with Tay in the bathroom.” He said and Caitlyn frowned.

“Oh, sorry.” She said glancing over to Taylor who was now looking at them expectantly. She offered a smile and Taylor returned it before quickly glancing down to her shoes.

“She said something about Y/N getting sick. Maybe you should go check on her if she hasn’t texted you.” He said.

“Oh shit, thank you. I actually have her phone with me, we’re waiting for her car.” She explained.

“Then yeah, please check on her.” He said and she nodded.

“Yeah, she’s pretty fucked up too. But ummm, is that why you guys are leaving?” She asked and he nodded.

“Tay thinks I spoke to her…which I didn’t. I didn’t even see her tonight, I swear it.” He said and she nodded.

“I know, Harry. I believe you.” She assured and he sighed.

“Thank you.” He said and she smiled at him with sympathy.

“Alright, now get going.”

“Please, make sure she’s OK.”

“I will.” Caitlyn smiled and they kissed cheeks before he hurried out.

Taylor watched as Caitlyn hurried back inside and then turned into the hallway that led to the bathrooms. She swallowed thickly and hugged her arms around herself when Harry tried to grab her hand when he came up beside her.

“I didn’t speak to her, babe.” He insisted again with frustration. “Did she say something to you?”

“No.” She responded monotonously. “Just call the car, please.” She said and he nodded and did just that, “Five minutes.” He informed her once he hung up and she nodded.

A few moments later Caitlyn was rushing you out of the venue, but even the chatter outside didn’t mask the sharp inhales of you trying to breathe through your crying. You two hurried past him and Taylor and into the car that was now waiting by the curb. She opened up the door for you and helped you get settled in the car. Harry found himself taking a few steps towards you but stopped himself. He wanted to see you, even if it was just for a second. But Caitlyn scooted in behind you and mouthed one final ‘thank you’ before shutting the door so that you could take off.

The car ride back to his hotel was tense and uncomfortably quiet. He genuinely didn’t think that Taylor had any reason to be upset tonight. This was a huge event, lots of people were bound to be there. And still, he hadn’t seen or even spoken to you once in the entire time. He didn’t think it was wrong that he was concerned for you when she told him that you’d gotten sick. He would’ve been concerned for anyone who was in that position, especially at a party like this where he knew there were drugs and alcohol around. He tried not to be upset at her though because he had no idea what was going on in her head that made her upset.

When they got into their hotel room she immediately slipped out of her heels and headed into the bathroom. He heard the door shut and then the shower come on. He made his way over and listened through the wood to see if she was crying, but she wasn’t. At least there was that. Maybe she just needed to cool down from the situation because truly there was nothing that he did wrong. He debated for several minutes whether he should call Caitlyn to check on you or not. And who was he kidding, he needed to check in.

“Hey H.” She answered him right away, “Don’t you worry, she’s alright. She’s just having a shower now.” Is the first thing she said and he smiled a bit.

“Good. Nothing bad happened right? With Tay?”

“No. She said that when she was leaving the bathroom she walked out and saw you waiting in front of the hallway, so she hurried back into bathroom. Y/N didn’t want to stir up any trouble by saying hi or just being near you if Taylor was around. But when she came back into the bathroom, kind of in shock from seeing you right there, Taylor was there and she asked if you’d just been together, that’s all. And well, Y/N said she just felt trapped and got anxious from the fucking molly she took and just got sick. She was just crying because you know how much she hates throwing up. Not because you were with your girlfriend.” She assured him.

“Yeah.” He smiled as he recalled this detail about you, “The throwing up is probably why Taylor thinks we spoke. Just from her reaction to the question, I guess.”

“Maybe so…but in all honesty, we party hopped all night because we were trying to avoid you. And when I saw you guys when I went to the bar I told Y/N we needed to leave.”

“Oh…” he said with some hurt radiating through his chest.

“Yeah…S’just that after we spoke last time I just didn’t want to give her any reasons to doubt you or to think Y/N was meddling or something. Obviously, Y/N doesn’t want to ignore you, but she also doesn’t want to complicate things for you. But…”

“Shit happens.” Harry sighed.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’m glad she’s fine. She’s coming down alright?”

“Yeah, she’s good so far. I’ll take good care of her.” Caitlyn assured him.

“I know you will.” He smiled.

“And are you alright?” She asked him.

“I think so…we haven’t spoken about it yet, so we’ll see. I just- I don’t want you guys to think Taylor’s a bad person for this. She’s not usually like this.” He explained.

“We don’t, H. She’s just navigating this situation the way it comes, you know? She has every right to feel apprehensive.”

“Yeah. Thank you for understanding.” he sighed.

“Of course.” She responded.

“Well thanks for answering, I just want to check in. And I’m sorry if we ruined your evening…” he apologized with a regretful sigh.

“Who are you talking to?” Harry heard from behind him and he glanced back to see Taylor wrapped up in her towel.

“My friend Caitlyn.” He said and she looked skeptical.

“It’s cool, H. Go deal with that.”

“Thanks. Good night.” Harry said before hanging up. He stood and then handed his phone over to her to see the call history. “See.”

“But Y/N is with her.”

“She was in the shower.” He said and she bit her lip, “I didn’t talk to her. I didn’t even see her until they walked out, babe.” He said.

“And why are you apologizing for ruining their evening? Now we have to walk on egg shells to protect her feelings?” She asked him and he sighed.

“No, I’m apologizing for that because they had been party hopping all night precisely to avoid running into us and causing you to think something was up.” He said signaling between them and she frowned.

“Is that how you’re telling it to people? That I’m just angry about your ex?” She asked him.

“No! I mentioned to Caitlyn the thing that you told me before about the song and the paps. I just needed to be sure that Y/N wasn’t trying to get a reaction of me or you. I know she’s not like that, but when people are upset they can sometimes do things that are out of character.” He said looking to her, hoping she’d catch his drift. She scoffed out a laugh and headed back into the bedroom. “Babe…” he sighed as he sat on the bed as she dug her pajamas out in silence. “Did you confront her about being with me tonight?” He asked her.

“I’m not going to feel bad for that, Harry. I wasn’t rude about it, I just asked.”

“I’m sure you weren’t but-”

“She was probably going to though-”

“For fucks sake! She was running back into the bathroom to avoid having to run into me!” He shouted, “She saw me and decided to wait in there until I was gone. She’s the one walking on fucking egg shells as if she’s the one driving the wedge deeper and deeper into our relationship!”

“So you’re saying this is my fault?” She asked him with a confused frown and he sighed.

“Tonight, yes.” He said. “I have…done what I can. Everything you’ve asked to try and make this work, to make it better. To have you believe me-”

“Harry, she’s still in love with you!” She shouted in exasperation.

“And what?! She’s happy for me! She’s happy for us! She didn’t delete my number and hasn’t reached out at all! Look at the fucking lengths she tried to go through tonight just to ensure that we weren’t uncomfortable! For fucks sake, just let it go! Please!” He was panting from how frustrated he was. He swore that smoke was blowing out of his ears as all of his pent up frustration reached its boiling point. He felt that he had been as understanding and as patient as possible, but it had been months of the same thing. She bit down on the inside of her cheek for a few moments. “I’m sorry for shouting at-”

“I think we both know that this has been over.” She said softly and his chest tightened. “I don’t like myself anymore.” She said with a frown, “I hate feeling insecure in us or just like I’m second best.” She sniffled. “I know you’ve never said that to me but just the fact that your heart’s in two different places makes me feel that way. Believe me, I have been trying to not let it bother me or just to understand how this can work for you, but I can’t.” She explained.

“I’m so sorry.” He apologized and she shrugged. “I never meant to make you feel that way. I just…I wanted to be honest with you, I felt bad for keeping that from you-”

“I know. I think you did the right thing in telling me but…I just, I can’t make peace with that.”

“I get it. I do love you, though. You have to know that.”

“Yeah. But not like you love her.” She said and he sighed, “Babe, if you loved me like you love her then keeping your distance wouldn’t feel like a sacrifice to you. And clearly that’s how you see it. Even now, instead of checking on me you called your friend to check on her? I mean…” she let out a sardonic laugh.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to check on you, I just figured you wanted some space.” He explained.

“So you check on me and ask if I need space, H.” She argued and he swallowed thickly and nodded.

“You’re right.” He said.

“H, I can’t keep doing this to myself. I can’t even recognize myself.” She said with a frown, “Like I…I feel like I’m losing myself in trying to keep you and I’m not okay with that. I’m sorry.” She sniffled and he nodded.

“Don’t be sorry. I get it. It’s my fault.” He said with a sad smile.

“Yeah.” She whispered and bit down on her lip. "No hard feelings?" she asked and he shook his head.

"Of course not." he smiled.

If you enjoyed this feel free to check out some of my other fics...

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readychilledwine · 6 months

Text

Bound by Fate pt 5

Summary - When Kaylee Archeron meets Azriel, her world turns upside down. Between balancing her trauma, new powers, a mating bond, and war looming over her new home, Kaylee learns everything is not as little as it once seemed.

Warnings - implied cheating, implied sex pollen use, intense make-out session, miscommunication, love triangle trope getting messy

A/N - forgive me, but it serves a purpose.

Series Masterlist Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Azriel couldn't take it anymore.

Kaylee and Lucien giggling softly as they ran through the woods, through the halls, through the gardens.

Rhys had banned the red headed male from all the Archeron sisters, minus his Kaylee. Lucien for some fucking reason was given access to Kaylee at all times.

And it was infuriating. Azriel hid behind the mask he had well as he held Elain's hand, listening to her cry and whisper her sorrows of lost love, lost opportunity, of how she'd always be alone.

“You will never be alone, Elain,” he countered softly. “You have your sisters, us, you will make friends.” Azriel didn't mention her mate. He knew it was too sore of a topic, and one she and Nesta demanded to avoid like a plague.

“And will I always have you?” The question seemed innocent to Azriel. The male too blinded by his love for the blonde's younger sister to realize what she was asking, what she was inferring.

“Of course, Elain,” the answer was a placement of a nail. One he'd soon have to stop for going into a coffin. “We will always be friends.”

Nights were Azriel's favorite. Kaylee was currently straddling his lap, their chests pressed together, his fingers laced in her silky hair as he allowed her to led their movements.

Her small hands ran up his arms, over his shoulders, then down to his hare chest, resting there as she kissed him deeply. His own hands began to roam. Fingertips dancing down the back of her neck, down her exposed upper back, bunching his shirt before pulling back from her and raising a brow.

Kaylee nodded at the silent question, allowing him to pull the top off and leave her upper half bare to him. “So beautiful, baby,” he trailed the back of his hand between her breasts, admiring her soft skin, her perky tits, the way goosebumps erupted across her. “I am the luckiest male.”

“More kisses,” her voice was breathless. “Now.” He started kissing her again, pulling her as close to him as possible to feel her skin to skin. He sent every ounce of love and longing down their bound, and Kaylee responded in kind, letting him feel how deeply she missed him. How it was like a dull ache in a lingering sore muscle.

While there was nothing innocent about the way she had crawled to him on hands and knees to straddle him, this kiss was clearly about needing connection, about needing to feel him, and they both poured every slipped away and lost moment of passion into it before parting to breathe.

Azriel rested his forehead on hers, large hands resting on the curves of her hips.

“I'm proud of you,” he stated evenly watching as her eyes fluttered shut and shoulders sank. “You are truly doing everything you can to make the best of this situation and I could not be more proud to call you my mate.”

Kaylee kissed him quickly again, then placed her head between his neck and shoulder. “Sing to me?”

“Forever,” he whispered back.

Everyone almost froze as Nesta and Elain came down for breakfast. Elain seemed frozen in her spot at the doorway as well. Azriel had Rhysand to his right as they discussed a small mission Azriel would be going on, and Kaylee was to his left. The scent of their bond lingering heavily in the air. Lucien was across from Kaylee, feyre to his right and Cassian to his left. The two of them took the spots by Mor and Amren. Not speaking as they did and began to eat.

Kaylee was too blind in her happiness to notice the way Elain seemed to stab and cut things while staring aggressively in her direction, nor did she notice the disapproval in Nesta's face as Azriel leaned down to kiss Kaylee's nose.

“What's that smell,” Nesta finally asked. Her piercing silver eyes hitting Kaylee and Azriel.

“That,” Rhysand spoke for them, his beast urging him to protect Kaylee from a viper, “is the scent mates give off when they're content and happy emotionally. They smell like nighttime and toasted sugar. Feyre and I smell like sea salt and lilac. You will get used to it.” Rhysand allowed his beast to comfort a now embarrassed and uncomfortable Kaylee. Watching as the youngest sister recoiled into herself.

Feyre gave her a look of sympathy, as did Lucien, who stood and walked around the table, looking at Azriel before offering Kaylee his hand. “Let's go find you another animal to bond to, my dear.” Her and Lucien left, after Azriel kissed her palm, a silent promise to find her before he departed for a few days.

Amren shot Rhys a look the second Elain moved to take Kaylee's seat, now clinging to Azriel and Nesta gave her own plate a smug look. He then shared one with Cassian, the both of them watching as Elain attempted to flirt with Azriel. I think I may have made a mistake. Rhysand admitted to Feyre through their link. We may need to start weening her off of time with Azriel.

Feyre sent a wave of confirmation. Preferably before something stupid happens.

Lucien and Kaylee returned late that night. The Autumn male was carrying the youngest sister, releasing her instantly to Rhysand when asked. “She did great. She made a new friend. I need to figure out what the fuck it was, though.”

Cassian's brows instantly reached his hairline. “What do you mean?”

Lucien shrugged leaning against the wall as Feyre brought him wine. “I think it was a Thunderbird. White and gold, feathered, large, sun seemed to bend and break as it flew. It rained on Kaylee, just Kaylee as it hovered above her.” Him and Rhys held eye contact. “This would be her third beast of legend, would it not?”

Rhys nodded. “She has not linked with the fire drake yet. But she did link to the unicorn. Hence why she's able to use more magic lately. It will be interesting to see what ability a Thunderbird would share.”

“She sensed a rock slide,” Lucien answered. “It shared with her the ability to sense danger. The Stag gave her command of the forest, the hawk gave her eyesight, the only one I'm confused about is the otter.”

Feyre giggled beside them. “You mean the one that scales the House and climbs into her and Azriel's bed every night?”

All three heads turned towards the High Lady. “There's a what in my house every night?”

“So, what did it offer her?”

Lucien answered the question softly. “Comfort. It offered her comfort. She's been… upset and lonely lately,” he turned to Cassian. “I think you and can empathize slightly.”

The general nodded, tucking a piece of Kaylee's long sandy blonde hair behind her ear. “Will she be ready for the High Lord's meeting? Rhysand's beast called for her first, they haven't fully linked yet, but Rhysand's beast is constantly calling for her. She needs to be able to block out all of them. For her safety.”

Lucien shrugged. “I don't know. I do know everything she links to is coming with a price,” he turned to Feyre. “Can you feel her in you?”

The High Lady's brow knit, silent confusion all over her face. “No?”

Lucien just nodded and chuckled lightly, twisting a dagger in his hands. “Well, she can feel you. How is Elain?”

Rhys shrugged. “Refuses to come out for anyone but Azriel. Refuses to eat for anyone but Azriel. Slowly becoming obsessed with Azriel,” the confession hung in the air. “And Nesta is encouring it because “fuck the mating bond and fuck Kaylee,” lovely little snake ypu find yourself attached to, brother.”

Cassian kicked off the wall. “We need separate them before he does something he will regret for the rest of his life, or before that one,” he inclined his head to Lucien, “says fuck it. And in turn, that one,” his head went to Kaylee this time, “decides to say fuck it too.”

Lucien didn't tell them Kaylee was already there. That he was getting there.

A week later -

Azriel's hands shook as he left Elain's room. Deep unstable breaths trying to stabilize evenly as he stared at his hands.

A throat cleared down the hall and Lucien leaned against a doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, legs crossed at the calves. No words had to be said between the two. No words could be said between the two. The scent of it lingered in the air, on him, and Lucien had felt every damned second through the bond.

“It's not what it looks like, Lucien, I swear.”

The Red head clicked his tongue. “You're leaving my mate's room at 3am and I can smell sex on you. Don't fucking play me like a fool, Azriel.”

Lucien left him there alone. Not allowing Azriel to explain what had happened. How it had happened. He stalked to his room, opening the door quietly to see a sleeping Kaylee.

He reached out to touch her, but stopped, instantly going to the bathroom and stripping himself of his leathers for the first time in several days. He scrubbed his skin raw, feeling the last bit of whatever the fuck Elain had managed to get a hold of leaving his system. It hadn't gone further than her offering him a late night drink to celebrate his return home. It hadn't gone further than Elain kissing him before that thing living deep inside of him roared out for Kaylee and Kaylee only, trying with desperate claws and warnings to get him away.

He hadn't even touched Elain. Not when she stripped herself bare for him. Not when she began to touch herself. Not when she came loudly, possibly alerting every awake ear to the sound of his name leaving her throat in pleasure.

He got out of the tub, drying himself off instantly and pulling on sweatpants before getting into bed behind Kaylee and pulling her close to him. He scented himself on her neck, mixing his cedar and chilled night air with Kaylee's soft scent of toasted sugar and snowfall.

She whispered his name in her sleep, one of her small hands finding his and lacing their fingers together.

This was the calm before the storm, Azriel knew this. Lucien had heard. Kaylee would possibly scent it in the morning. Elain would tell Nesta. And Mother help him if Nesta knew before Kaylee.

Rhys and Azriel were absent from breakfast. Then Cassian. The shadowsinger was currently sitting next to Rhysand in his office telling and showing him everything while Cassian searched Elain's room and then Nesta's, finally finding a vial clearly supplied by the House of Wind.

Cassian tossed it to Rhys before comforting Azriel, knowing damn well where this was going. How it would end. “You have to tell Kaylee and explain what actually happened before Nesta, Elain, or Lucien does.” Cassian spoke softly, forcing Azriel to look at him. “I will handle my mate. You need to protect yours.”

Azriel nodded. “Where did she get that, though?”

Rhys looked up at the ceiling. Twin shadowy figures appeared, looking down in guilt. “We gave it Nesta,” Nuala refused to look at Azriel, her eyes locked on the ground. “She told us she was going to use it to experiment with herself. She had read about it in one of her… novels,” the males all snorted at the amusing choice of words. “Had we known she would try to use it on Azriel and Elain, we would have never supplied it.”

Cerridwen had not spoken, her lower lip trembling. Azriel moved to her instantly. “It's not your fault. You two can repay me by befriending Elain, get her some hobbies. I need space from her and Nesta, and you two are wonderful company.” The twins nodded, both throwing themselves into Azriel's arms. “I am not angry with you two. I'm mad at myself for allowing it to get as far as it did.”

The three males walked down the stairs to a silent breakfast. Nesta was standing, smirking down at Kaylee who just sat still as a ghost. Feyre's eyes were wide. Mor was shaking her head as if something didn't make sense. Amren was glaring to Elain. And Lucien, Lucien was silent rage. He stood slamming his hands down and left the room, shoving the other three males before going to his own space.

“Kaylee,” Feyre said softly. “Do you want Rhys to take you to the Riverhouse?”

Then the three of them knew. They knew Nesta had told Kaylee, and the silence and stillness in the youngest sister was shock.

“No,” Kaylee whispered. “I'm leaving with Lucien. I'll go help him find the lost queen.” Kaylee stood on shaking legs, looking down as she walked away. Azriel followed her up the stairs, grabbing her in the hallway.

“Please let me explain what happened.”

Kaylee shook her head.

Lucien appeared in the hall, a bag packed and slung over his shoulder. “What the fuck is there to explain, Azriel. Pretty sure Nesta painted a pretty visual picture for all of us.”

Azriel held eye contact with Kaylee only. “Let me explain, please. Come to our room and talk to me.” Kaylee tried to pull her arm away, noticing now the second bag Lucien held in his hands. Her bag.

Azriel's grip in her tightened, and Lucien scoffed, “I watched you leave her room at 3am before heading into Kaylee's. Nesta and I heard everything.”

“Let me explain.”

Kaylee finally let go, letting the anger, frustration, and annoyance finally peak. Her voice hardly seemed her own. “You don't need to fucking explain. I was a pretty stepping stool to get to my beautiful sister. You used me.” She ripped her arm from Azriel going to Lucien's side. “Take me with you.” He handed Kaylee the bag, his amber and gold eyes locking Azriel in place. “Do not follow us,” she commanded his beast, not him. “I'll come back when I'm ready.”

The second the door to the entry way shut and Lucien's spell cleaving was felt long enough for the two to winnow, Azriel lost it.

He destroyed his room. He destroyed the bathroom. He destroyed the mirrors.

Azriel sat on his bed seething as Feyre and Rhys entered. “Elain told us everything. Nesta is sticking to the story she made.” Rhys watched as the house repaired his brother's room. “Elain has been informed time with you is going to be limited, and that she needs to be the one to tell Kaylee and Lucien the truth.”

Feyre moved to the smashed bottles of Kaylee's perfumes and oils. “You'll have to forgive her for whatever she does next, Azriel,” Feyre sniffed her fingers, memorizing her little sister's scent incase she and Lucien didn't make it back home. “She's impulsive when she's angry, and she's hurt-”

Azriel finished the thought, knowing it was true and showing Rhys the memory of Kaylee's skin changing hues. “and wounded animals are the most dangerous.”

Taglist - @impossibelle @luvmoo @wallacewillow0773638 @nightless

@cat-or-kitten @knmendiola @holb32

@mis-lil-red @minakay @whatsupb18 @deeshag @justdreamstars @pyrostatic @acourtofmarvels @no1massassin @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @acourtofbatboydreams

#acotar #azriel acotar #azriel #boundbyfate #azriel x archeron!oc #azriel x oc #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fic

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drewharrisonwriter · 8 months

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On the Mend - Ch 1: Not Today

No Outbreak Joel Miller x Female Reader

Read this on AO3 | Masterlist

Summary: You were having a really, really bad day in the midst of the scorching Austin summer, and seeing your ex boyfriend, Joel Miller, is the last thing you need.

Word count: 829

A/N: (EDIT 09/17/2023) Okay so I heard ya'll! LMAO and decided to turn this into a mini-series. Not sure exactly how things will play out for these two, but I've written a part 2 and decided to call this mini-series On the Mend. LOL hope you like it. This is a one-shot for now, not sure if and how to continue this. I just got this idea recently and wanted to write it.

The merciless sun bore down as she parked her car. The Austin summer had been relentless, and today, it seemed as if even the universe was conspiring against her.

It had been a thoroughly miserable day. Work had been a disaster; she'd spent hours redoing half of a project her co-worker had botched because she was still hungover from the previous night.

The Texas summer heat, relentless and unforgiving, only added to her misery. As if fate had a personal grudge against her, she realized she'd left her house keys on her office desk when she was already halfway home.

She sighed in defeat and turned her car around to retrieve them. All of this was compounded by her lingering morning sickness, a term she found deceptive as it had resurfaced with a vengeance upon entering her third trimester. She had naively believed she had bid it farewell for good when she'd crossed into the second trimester.

"Whoever called it morning sickness should be shot for lying," she grumbled, attempting to quell the rising nausea that threatened to surface.

Dressed in biker shorts and an oversized t-shirt she kept in her car for emergencies, she got out and beelined to the frozen aisle for a popsicle stick and savored the brief respite offered by the melting ice cold treat.

She sighed in relief and grabbed a pushcart. Her only mission in the store was to grab some Oreos, pickles, and frozen pizza to satisfy her cravings that were so intense, she literally cried in the car on her way over.

As she rounded a corner in the store, she was suddenly face to face with the last person she wanted to see: Joel Miller.

Great. She thought to herself. Couldn't have been on a better day.

Ah, Joel fucking Miller.

The man who had once been the love of her life.

The same man who had taken her on the most memorable first date she'd ever experienced, and had filled the past five years of her life with the kind of joy she'd never known before.

But this was also the man who made it clear to her months ago, after five whole years of being together and living together for three, that he has no plans of marrying her and having a family with her.

She and Joel were arguing at the time when he said it.

In the midst of their emotional clash, she couldn't help but speak her mind, her frustration boiling over.

"Joel," she began, her voice trembling with pent-up feelings, "if you get mad at every damn little thing, what's going to happen if we were married? That's not the life I want, and it's not the husband I need."

Joel's eyes flashed with anger as he retorted, "Of course it’s not! And who told you I was going to marry you?" His words cut like a knife, and she felt her heart shatter into pieces.

"We never talked about it, what put the idea into your head?" he continued, his tone harsh and unyielding.

Her jaw went slack in shock, as tears welled up in her eyes as she choked back her emotions.

"But I thought we--," she whispered, her voice barely audible, she couldn't even continue her thoughts when Joel cut her off.

"No." He barked. "You knew from the start that Sarah is my priority. Always was and always will be. I'm not going through the whole marriage thing again." And have our hearts broken all over again when you realize that we're not what you want, he wanted to add. But instead he allowed the silence to linger.

Silent tears slipped from her eyes but she did not respond.

Instead she stood up and went into the closet and started packing. So be it, she told herself as she zipped the last of her bags before going into the bathroom to hastily shove her toiletries into another bag.

She stopped when she pulled one of the lower drawers open. The positive pregnancy test sticks under her box of tampons glared at her, and for a brief moment she contemplated telling Joel. But when she heard the front door slam shut, she pulled herself together and shoved the sticks in the bag as well.

That was seven months ago and she hasn't seen nor heard from Joel since.

Their eyes met for a moment before his gaze fell upon her very round baby bump. Acting on instinct, she hastily placed her handbag in the shopping cart, a futile attempt to hide it from him, though it didn't do much given the fact that she looked like she had tucked an entire watermelon under her shirt.

She grimaced, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. When she locked eyes with him once more, she began walking backwards, her eyes not leaving him and before he could say anything, she had rounded the corner and all he heard was, “Nope. Not today!”

Next Chapter 👉🏻

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greetingfromthedead · 2 months

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Shepherd Story 1 (God!Knives x GN!Reader)

Plot: In a world where fallen gods live among you, there is the god of winter and death who leaves behind merciless blizzards and famine wherever he goes on his eternal search for his other half he fell for many millennia ago.

Series: Shepherd. Check out Story 2 (smut) and Story 3!

Pairing: God!Knives x GN!Reader

Raiting: Teen and up (some mild sexual/intimate content, no smut)

Tags: fantasy AU, no use of "y/n", gods, feathery plant, fated love, romance, legends, nature magic, reunion, intimacy, possessive behavior, tenderness, some fluff, body worship, implied smut

Word count: 4.2k

Author's Note: This story is heavily inspired by the incredible @triplesilverstar's god AU stories A so called God on a mountain top? Well, better then freezing to death and So its a tradition? Weird. These stories are just way too good for you to not go read them. So gogogo (unless you are underage or not into smut)...

In a world much different from our own, where fallen gods live among people, there is a story that spans over many millennia. In that world, there are countless higher beings, each with their own unique powers and abilities. They guide nature in the endless cycle of creation and destruction. Among them is a man more feared and despised than the rest, known as the god of winter and death. His icy touch is said to bring misery and despair to all who encounter him. None can escape his chilling grasp, as the harsh winters can last for years on end. Children are born within his icy domain; they live and die, never knowing the warmth of summer. But only a few know the curse put on this world by the jealous gods of ancient times.

The god of winter and death roams solemnly through the lands, bringing icy winds and blizzards in his wake. The soft steps of his bare feet on grassy fields spread frost, and the lakes get covered in ice as he passes by. He doesn't bring famine and illness, but they follow him like a shadow as he moves south on his endless search. This world has never seen a winter like this before; it has lasted for fifty years and brought the northern lands to their knees. Grain stores are empty, and people are starving. Yet the god moves further and further south with each passing day, leaving death in his wake. He is still looking, searching for the one who bears the curse.

Restlessness has sunken its claws into you as of late. It's like something's tugging at your soul. You have always felt lucky that you were born quite far in the south, away from the dark shadows of the north. You are a winter child, and never in your years have you seen the bountiful summers the elders speak of. However, you haven't been plagued by winter's chill either, and for that, you are grateful. But as of late, your dreams have frozen over, set against a backdrop of white fields and icy winds. You feel it seeping into your waking hours; the breeze hasn't been gentle for weeks; instead, it cuts like knives into your flesh, leaving you shivering.

The fire roars in your little house, but its warmth can't chase away the chill in your bones. You wrap yourself tighter in blankets, trying to hold onto the last bit of heat before the darkness of night takes over. You count the herbs in your collection; you need to make sure you have as much stock as possible if winter indeed is to claim your little corner of the world too. You know you can't afford to run out; you are the herbalist that the entire nearby village relies on for healing remedies. As you put away the jars of dried leaves, you wonder if you can sleep tonight or will you be tortured again by the dangerous desire luring you into the night.

The flickering light of the fireplace seems to dim, the dancing of the light more lazy, barely reaching your feet, let alone your workbench. You shiver, feeling a chill run down your spine as the shadows in the room grow darker and more sinister. You turn around to inspect whether you need to add more logs to the dwindling fire, but your attention is grabbed by the window to your side. Icy flowers begin to form on the glass, their sharp angles glistening in the fading rays of the day.

Are these the last remnants of your blissful life? You wonder how long it will take for the cold to overtake the countryside and turn it into an icy wasteland. How many people will die, and will you ever see summer? You shake your head, trying to dispel the dark thoughts, and raise your gaze over the forming ice, as beautiful as it might be. You look at the grassy field and see glittering snow start to descend from the sky. While frost isn't all that uncommon, you've never seen it snow quite like this. The delicate flakes twirl and dance in the air, casting a magical spell over the landscape. You're in awe, and rush to the door, pulling the blanket around your shoulders tighter before stepping outside into the freezing twilight. The air is so still, not even a whisper of wind dares disturb the enchanting scene, like nature itself is holding its breath in anticipation. The soft flakes brush against your cheeks, melting on contact and leaving a cold, damp feeling on your skin. You try to imagine your home being transformed into a winter wonderland, with snow covering every surface in sight. You know you should fear that image more than anything else, but there's a strange sense of peace that comes with it.

You glance over your little yard to the edge of the forest, and there you see a figure. Your eyes are caught by his icy gaze, and you can't see anything else beside his piercing blue irises. You feel a chill run along your spine, but not from the cold, but from the kind of terror you would feel while staring down a wild wolf.

"I found you at last, my sweet darling." The nearly emotionless words of the god of winter and death carry over the silent landscape, echoing in your ears like a haunting melody. The coldness in his face softens slightly, replaced by something akin to a gentle smile.

You are too stunned to speak or move; the knowledge of who you've come across freezes you in place. But it isn't all fear that has made your legs so heavy; the restlessness of your soul is rearing its head again, calling out to the unknown like it's an old friend. You stay quiet as you look into the eyes of the god before you, feeling a sense of both terror and excitement. He turns toward you and steps closer. Your eyes are released from the shackles of his gaze. As you look at the rest of the figure, you see the mass of wings behind him. They aren't made up of feathers, but of shards of ice that reflect the light in a dazzling display. His body is clad in a flowy white robe, partially revealing his pale skin, some of it covered by the icy shards, the same as the wings. His hair and eyelashes look like they are frosted over due to the cold that emanates from his very being. He is breathtaking as he approaches you, his bare feet make no sound as he walks along the path. The blades of grass freeze in his presence, the puddle of water forms jagged crystals on its surface like razors.

"It has been too long, my dear," he whispers, his voice low and level, the sound crossing the empty space between you effortlessly to caress your ears.

His expression is tender yet filled with a cold intensity. This is not how you imagined such an infamous god to look at a mortal being like yourself. His eyes seem to pierce your very soul, making you feel both terrified and strangely alive.

With every step he takes, the surrounding air gets colder. Every inhale stings your lungs, every exhale produces a white cloud. Your fingers grip the blanket tighter. You can't shake the feeling that he knows something about you that you don't. His eyes have never left your face as he finally stops at your doorstep.

"I am sorry for being so impossibly late," he says, holding out a hand to you, palm up. His voice has a cold edge to it.

"Am I going to die?" The words slip over your lips before you even realize you've spoken them.

"One day, darling, but hopefully not any time soon. I cannot bear to lose you again." A slight smile flickers on the corners of his lips. "Take my hand."

"What do you mean? What do you want from me?" You know you should be afraid of him, but your soul tells you to place your hand in his.

"You will remember, sweet Shepherd." He waits patiently. "Take my hand."

"I'm not a shepherd; I'm a herbalist. You must have confused me with someone else." Saying a god is wrong seems like a surefire way to die, yet you do it anyway. Your reaction paints a slightly more obvious smile on his face as he looks at you through his low eyebrows with amusement. Your heart tells you to reach for his fingers.

"I will recognize you in any life, with any face. I will always find you, as your soul calls out to me. Take my hand." His piercing blue eyes look into yours, and you know that he is the source of your restless nights. You take a deep breath and finally allow yourself to surrender to your heart and soul. Your right hand lets go of the blanket and reaches out into the freezing night air to rest on his open palm. His skin feels like marble against yours, but his touch is comforting and familiar.

"Wake up, my love." His words echo in your mind as you realize the meaning behind them. Hundreds of previous lives come flooding back to you with a sense of recognition and understanding.

"Nai!" Your eyes open wide as you remember who he truly is, "You found me!" The cycle of reincarnation finally feels familiar once again.

He shifts closer, leaning his cold forehead against yours, your hand pressed against his chest.

"Do you still have it?" he asks softly.

"Of course I do; it's been with me all this time," you reply as you shut your eyes. His cold fingers squeeze yours tighter, and he lifts his forehead, replacing it with his lips. A gentle kiss on your skin as his free hand caresses your cheek. You would be shivering if it weren't for the fire lit up inside you.

"Thank you, sweet Shepherd," he says, placing his cheek against yours as he speaks by your ear. "For keeping it safe all this time."

"It is yours after all," you say, keeping your eyes closed, savoring the moment.

"No, sweetling, it is yours," he replies, his voice warm and comforting. He doesn't quite sound like a god of winter and death, one that brings merciless cold and darkness wherever he goes. Instead, he is the guardian and lover of all your past lives, reaching back to the ancient times before you were cast out from the Higher Plane. He is the one who cradles you in his arms and whispers promises of love eternal. The freezing stares are saved for everyone else but you, for you are his chosen one.

"Why don't you come inside?" You smile as you turn your head slightly towards him, feeling the frigid air of his breath against your ear.

"I doubt I would make it through the door," his silky voice chuckles softly. "I've been searching for so long, I fear I myself have frozen."

You can see his massive, crystalline wings over his shoulder. It has never gone on so long that he himself starts to freeze as well. His body feels more rigid, and the softness of his flesh has turned to ice.

"I can fix that, my love," you say softly, reaching out to touch his frozen skin with warmth in your fingertips. The blanket that you released slides off your shoulders, exposing the goosebumps on your skin. The cold air bites at your uncovered flesh, but you don't mind; you are in love with winter. Your fingers slide along his jaw, turning his face toward you. Your breath escapes you as a white vapor before you close the gap between the two of you, capturing his lips with yours.

The kiss you share is deep, filled with a kind of longing that has been building up for many thousands of years. You feel his body warm up; the coldness of his skin no longer cuts you like knives; and your fingers get to press into the suppleness of his cheek. The quiet air is filled with a sound reminding you of delicate glass breaking. His hand that has been tracing the curve of your neck moves down to rest on the small of your back and pulls you closer, flush against his body. You feel his feathers brush against your skin as he wraps you up in his numerous wings, enveloping you in his embrace, protecting you from the frost he brings to the rest of the world.

You pull back to admire the sight you know you will find—the glowing markings etched into his eyes and skin, the pattern traveling along his body, gracing his face, and decorating his arms with intricate designs that seem to come alive in the dim light of nightfall. He is still pressing your hand against his chest, where you can start to feel the steady beat of his heart, a rhythm that matches the intensity of your own.

The frost in his hair is gone, his skin taking on a tone of warmth, a blush of cold darkening his cheeks and the tip of his nose. The marks still linger on him, pulsing lightly, and you are mesmerized by the blue eyes that no longer remind you of a dangerous beast but of a soul who carries too many burdens.

You lead him into the warmth of your cottage, but with every step he takes, the fire flickers, threatening to die down completely. A kind of darkness and cold emanate from him, yet it doesn't touch you anymore. His hand in yours is warm and comforting, a stark contrast to the atmosphere around him. You refuse to let it bother you as your heart is set ablaze. His hand slides out of yours and he takes a longer step forward to be right beside you. His hand moves onto your back, and with gentle pressure, he guides you to the seat by the window, where the silvery moonlight starts to creep in. With a rustle of feathers, he spreads his wings before sitting down on the soft cushion, pulling you with him. Not once has he averted his eyes, looking at you like you're a treasure of priceless value. The hand not resting on your lower back caresses up your arm, sending shivers through your body. This seems to amuse him as you see the curve of his lips in the dim light. You settle more comfortably into his lap, and his wings fold and reach over to you like a soft blanket.

"Tell me, Shepherd, do you remember it all now?" His knuckles brush gently over your cheek.

"I have lived so many mortal lives that I can hardly keep them all straight, so I'm still piecing it together." You rest your hand on his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath. "But I remember you in all of them, one way or another. Why do you keep calling me Shepherd, love?"

"I don't mean to be impatient with you, but I've been waiting to find you for so very long. I can call you by your new name if you would like me to." His fingers trace along your jaw and lips as he speaks. "But you are the Shepherd. My other half. I may be the god of death, but I need you to guide the souls of the deceased into the afterlife so they can be born again."

"What?" Your eyebrows move closer together in confusion. He takes your hand out of your lap to place kisses on your knuckles.

"I meant to find you sooner, my love. This winter was never meant to last so long. But it is over now. We are reunited. I have made you a lot of work. I am sorry. Some of these souls have been waiting for 50 years to move on. I reaped them from their earthly existence, I brought death, and now they need you so my brother can bring them life once again. To offer them a new beginning in spring so that my sister can fill them up with the joy of summer. Don't you remember?"

His eyes are solemn as they look into yours. Deep regret plagues them—a kind of hurt you don't remember seeing in them before. The pain is clearly etched in every line of his face.

"I will. Just keep holding me, and it will come back; it always has." You squeeze his fingers tightly, and his lips move to your wrist, brushing against your skin.

"You can ask me anything you want, love." His piercing eyes look into yours as he measures your forearm with his kisses. "Perhaps it will help."

"Your brother—he lives on a mountain, right?" You watch him carefully. "Why do you have to roam around and not him?"

"Because people don't pray for winter and only the desperate hope for death," he replies softly. His lips trail to your shoulder, and you can't see his eyes anymore. "But even if I had the power to dictate winter and death from just one little corner of the world, I still need you to put an end to it. I do not wish to turn this world into a wasteland because you still live in it. You alone can rein in the northern winds and calm the raging blizzards, for I only love you. You alone."

You feel his sharp teeth brush against the skin of your neck, and you lean back, letting out a deep sigh as you enjoy his touch. Your hand that's been resting on his chest moves to his head, your fingers lacing into his hair. You close your eyes and savor the moment, knowing that you are completely captivated by him.

"Why must gods be so cruel and jealous? To not only curse us but the whole world with it. All that because you gave your heart to me. How spiteful, they cannot kill me, so they force me into a mortal body to ensure I'm a slave to reincarnation until the end of time." Your quiet voice fills the room as you feel his mouth move to your ear.

"And I would wage another war and fall all over again just to rectify it," he whispers into your ear. "You just say the word, my sweetest love, and I will fight for an eternity, I will lay waste to everything. Until then, I will keep searching for you in each and every one of your lives."

His hand on your back pulls you tighter, and the cocoon of feathers surrounding you rustles softly as his breath gets heavy against your skin. His lips trail along your cheek until they reach yours. He moves softly, capturing your mouth with a gentle kiss that speaks of promises fulfilled and passion unleashed.

"You are so breathtakingly gorgeous," he whispers, his voice filled with love and desire, barely moving away from your lips. "No god of beauty could ever compare to you. To think you are mine... all mine."

You lean into him as his lips meet yours in a passionate kiss, knowing that this love has not dwindled over the passing millennia. Your souls date back to a time before this world was created, in the Higher Plane, among other gods, you had found each other, and now, in this mortal realm, your devotion continues to burn just as brightly. His hands trace along the curves of your body, exploring every dip and valley with a hunger that matches your own. The kisses of the winter god burn on your neck as his face presses into your skin. You lean back as his fingers undo the buttons on your blouse. The fabric falls away, revealing your bare chest as his lips map every inch of it.

"Open your eyes, my darling, look at me." You hear his insistent voice as a gap forms between your bodies, "I have been waiting for too long to see them glimmer in the moonlight, for they hold all that my soul yearns for."

The god of winter and death spends most of the night worshiping your mortal body. He kisses every mark and freckle that adorn your skin like stars. He whispers poems of adoration against the scars time has etched into you. He declares his unyielding love for you in every way two people can. He leaves trails of fire in his wake that burn with his passion. Every inch of your body is a canvas for him to paint upon. His love leaves marks where his teeth have been and where his lips have lingered. His desire leaves bruises on your skin, but you know he takes care not to break your human body.

You lay in his embrace, surrounded by the massive wings that shield you from the cold he brought with him into your home. Your fingers trace patterns into his skin, your body is exhausted, but you know that dawn is creeping ever closer and the time for him to leave is near. Your eyes remain on him as he strokes along your tingling skin. His sharp gaze catches yours.

"You're staring," you say with both amusement and slight awkwardness.

"I can't help it, you're beautiful." His low voice caresses your ears.

"Why must you leave?" The words escape you.

"Because I'm the god of winter and death, my passing alone brings calamity, I cannot linger for long," he says mournfully.

"Then can't I come with you?" You say hopefully, a glimmer appears in your eyes.

"Alas, you are chained to a mortal body, and I reside in the north, far beyond human settlements, where only demons roam the dead forests. Even if my presence alone wouldn't kill you, the merciless nature of my frozen hell would. It's no place for someone as precious as you, my sweetling." You feel a slight chuckle ripple in his body. "Yet every time you wake, you ask me that same question."

"Then when will you return?" Your voice gets quieter as you see the darkness behind your window retreat.

"An army of war gods wouldn't be able to keep us apart. They tried." His voice is soft, and he touches your cheek. "I will come back once it's my turn again, the year will be guided through its seasons, and now I know where to find you. Until my return, guide the ones I have reaped back into the circle of life, sweet Shepherd. Guide them well until we meet again."

"I hope it won't be this long again, for our sake and theirs. I don't want the humans to fear you as much as they do."

"I too wish to be apart from you for as little time as possible, yet I will engulf this world in eternal winter if it means I can return to you." His voice has a sharpness to it, his words are both a promise and a threat. "Their fear means nothing to me compared to your love."

Dawn arrives too soon, the first rays of light brushing the tops of the trees acting as a warning. Your time has run out, and your fated love must bid you farewell. His touch lingers longer, the fingers tracing the outline of your face as if etching it into his memory for eternity. His stern eyes can't hide the tender look of adoration they hold for you. His lips press against yours as the layers of wings peel away from you. Before the coolness of the outside air reaches you again, your love drapes a blanket around you, never breaking away from the kiss.

You want to reach out to him, but his long fingers catch your wrists into his grasp. He holds on tight, gripping your hands with his. He pulls away slightly and places a kiss on your cheek.

"I love you, my darling," his voice whispers in your ear. You feel another firm press of his lips on your forehead. "Keep it safe for me."

"Your heart is always safe with me. I will guard it, and I will warm it when you come again." You smile as you look up into his piercing blue eyes. "I love you in every life I live."

He releases your hands, his fingers lightly brushing your chin, before he turns to leave. He steps away from your door into the snow covered yard. His majestic wings unfurl into the still air, each feather seemingly stretching out.

"Until I see you again, my sweet Shepherd!" He doesn't show you his face, but you hear the warm smile in his voice.

"Until then, darling!"

The god's quiet footsteps lead him towards the forest again. The bare feet don't make a single noise, and the white robe emits only the slightest rustle. He might be leaving, but the world itself seems fundamentally different to you than it did yesterday. Even as he disappeared, leaving snow and ice behind and a coolness in your chambers, the dawn that came brought new colors with it you had never seen before in this lifetime.

This was originally going to be smut, but I got carried away and then it didn't seem right anymore. If my brainrot doesn't pack its bags in the next few days then I might make a part 2 that follows the original plan...

There is now a smutty Part 2.

And even a 3rd installment.

Did you like this? Go check out my MASTERLIST and drop a follow for any and all future projects!

#trigun #trigun stampede #tristamp #trigun 98 #trigun maximum #millions knives #knives x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #plant boi #writing #knivesxreader

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insufferableprotagonistpoll · 4 months

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Please note that a character currently needs at least 3 submissions to make it into the poll

That said:

Has 3 Submissions or more:

Aang - Avatar: The Last Airbender

Anakin Skywalker - Star Wars

Batman - DC

Bella Swan - Twilight

Bloom Peters - Fate: The Winx Saga

Bojack Horseman - Bojack Horseman

Brambleclaw - Warrior Cats

Clary Fray/Fairchild - Shadowhunters

Coriolanus Snow - The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Elsa - Frozen

Evan Hansen - Dear Evan Hansen

Frank Reagan - Blue Bloods

Gregory - FNaF Security Breach

Harry Dresden - The Dresden Files

Harry DuBois - Disco Elysium

Heywood Floyd - Space Odyssey

Holden Caulfield - The Catcher in the Rye

Kazuya Kinoshita - Rent-a-Girlfriend

Kiris - On the Emperor's Lap

Mal - Descendants

Peter Pan - Peter Pan

Rand al'Thor - Wheel of Time

Rintaro Okabe - Steins;Gate

Scott McCall - Teen Wolf

Stolas - Helluva Boss

Ted Mosby - How I Met Your Mother

Tim Jackson Drake - DC

Tony Stark - MCU

Walter White - Breaking Bad

Wanda Maximoff - MCU

Xander Harris - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Zoey Redbird - The House of Night

Has 2 Submissions:

Ash Ketchum - Pokemon

Bloom Peters - Winx Club

Claire - Ship It

Dawson Leery - Dawson’s Creek

Duck Dodgers - Duck Dodgers in the 24 1/2 century

Dr Gregory House - House MD

Elizabeth - Bioshock Burial at Sea

Ezra Bridger - Star Wars Rebels

Ferris Bueller - Ferris Bueller's Day off

Feyre Archeron - A Court of Thorns and Roses

Harry Potter - Harry Potter

James Bond - James Bond

Jaune Arc - RWBY

Kyouya Sata - Ookami shoujo to kuro ouji

Netsa Archeron - A Court of Thorns and Roses

Odysseus - The Odyssey

Owen Grady - Jurassic World

Piper - Orange is the new Black

Pucca - Pucca

Quentin Coldwater - The Magicians (books)

Rey - Star Wars

Richard Rahl - Seeker of Truth/Legend of the Seeker

Riley Matthews - Girl Meets World

Robin - Teen Titans Go

Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan) - Scum Villain’s Self Saving System

Tom Paris - Star Trek: vVyager

Velma - Velma

Wade Watts - Ready Player One

Has 1 Submission

Achilles - The Iliad

Akiyama Shun - Ryu Ga Gotoku/Yakuza

Alexander Hamilton - Hamilton

Animal Crossing New Horizons' Player Character - Animal Crossing New Horizons

Aquamarin Hoshino - Oshi No Ko

Aragorn - Lord of the Rings

Arek - So This Is Ever After

Artemis Fowl - Artemis Fowl

Arthur Pendragon - BBC Merlin

Ataru Moroboshi - Urusei Yatsura

August Landry - One Last Stop

Ayin - Lobotomy Corporation

Bakugou Katsuki - My Hero Academia

Betty Cooper - Riverdale

Billy Buddy/Dr. Horrible - Dr. Horrible's Sing Along

Blake - Pokemon Adventures Black 2 and White 2

Blitzo - Helluva Boss

Bubsy - Bubsy 3D

Charley Pollard - Doctor Who

Charlie Morningstar - Hazbin Hotel

Choromatsu Matsuno - Osomatsu-san

Colin Bridgerton - Bridgerton

Corrin - Fire Emblem Fates

Cory Matthews - Boy Meets World

Dal - Star Trek Prodigy

Damian Wayne - DC

Daphne Bridgerton - Bridgerton

Data - Star Trek The Next Generation

Dr. Hanna Heath - People of the Book

Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way - My Immortal

Ellison Oswalt - Sinister

Elric of Melniborne - The Elric Saga

Emma Nelson - Degrassi: The Next Generation

Equality 7-2521 - Anthem

Eren Jaegar - Shingeki no Kyojin

Faust - Goethes Faust

Frasier Crane - Frasier

Galadriel Higgins - The Scholomance Trilogy

Geralt of Rivia - The Last Wish, The Witcher books

Go Siwon - A Guy Like You

Gray Wing - Warrior Cats

Haruyuki Arita - Accel World

Homer Simpson - The Simpson

Howard Roark - The Fountainhead

Jaypaw - Warrior Cats

Jean-Luc Picard - Star Trek The Next Generation

Jeff Winger - Community

Jim Hopper - Stranger Things

JJ - Cocomelon

Joaquin Monegro - Abel Sánchez

John Proctor - The Crucible

Jughead Jones - Riverdale

Kai - The Witch King

Kang Jinha - A Guy Like You

Katara - Avatar the Last Airbender

Katnis - Hunger Games

Khai - Theory of Love - Thai BL Show

King Arthur - King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)

Korra - Avatar: Legend of Korra

Koyomi Araragi - The Monogatari series

Kun-chan - Mirai

Kvothe - The Kingkiller Chronicles

Lelouch Lamperouge - Code Geass

Leroy Jethro Gibbs - NCIS

Lionblaze - Warriors (Power of Three and Omen of the Stars)

Luna - Retro

Luffy - One Piece

Lyn - Fire Emblem

Makoto Naegi - Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc

Mal - Firefly

Manaow - Love Senior

Mark Watney - The Martian

Mary Poppins - Walt Disney's Mary Poppins

Meliodas - Seven Deadly Sins

Merlin - BBC Merlin

Mia - La La Land

Mike Wheeler - Stranger Things

Miyo Sasaki - A Whisker Away

Mordecai - Regular Show

Nick Carraway - The Great Gatsby

Nightheart - Warrior Cats

North Italy - Hetalia

Okajima ""Rock"" Rokuro - Black Lagoon (Anime)

Oscar - Shark Tale

Otis Milburn - Sex Education

Patrick Bateman - American Psycho

Peppa Pig - Peppa Pig

Piper McLean - Heroes of Olympus

Pippa Fitz-Amobi - A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder

Rebecca Bunch - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV show)

Robert Langdon - The Da Vinci Code

Rodion Raskolnikov - Crime and Punishment

Rorschach - Watchmen

Ruby - Max & Ruby

Ryo Saeba - City Hunter

Sabrina Spellman - Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Satou Kazuma - Konosuba

Shiori - Six Crimson Cranes

Shiro Emiya - Fate/Stay Night

Shrek - Shrek

Skullduggery Pleasant - Skullduggery Pleasant

Snow Villiers - Final Fantasy 13

Star Butterfly - Star vs The Forces of Evil

Stiles Stilinski - Teen Wolf

Sydney Atherton - The Beetle

Tai Kamiya - Digimon Adventure

Takao - Garden of Words

Tara Webster - Dance Academy

Tarl Cabot - The Gor Chronicles

Violetta - Disney's Violetta

William Afton - FNaF Ultimate Custom Night

Yu/Ai - Final Fantasy Unlimited

Yuri Zhivago - Doctor Zhivago

Yuusaku Godai - Maison Ikkoku

Zack Morris - Saved by the Bell

Available for Resubmission (needs at least 1 resubmission to participate)

Atsuko Kagiri/Akko - Little Witch Academia

Beca Mitchell - Pitch Perfect

Elena Gilbert - Vampire Diaries

Izuku (Deku) Midoriya - Boku no Hero Academia

Katarina Claes - My Next Life as a Villainess

Scott Pilgrim - Scott Pilgrim

Sophie Foster - Keeper of the Lost Cities

The Tenth Doctor - Doctor Who

Wei (Ying) Wuxian - Mo Dao Zu Shi

Currently unavailable for a new Round:

Aelin Ashryver Galathynius/Celaena Sardothien - Throne of Glass

Alex Eagleston - YIIK

Caillou - Caillou

Dean Winchester - Supernatural

Eragon - Eragon/Inheritance Cycle

Erika Shinohara - Ookami shoujo to kuro ouji

Kirito - Sword Art Online

Light Yagami - Death Note

Marinette Dupain-Cheng - Miraculous Ladybug

Naofumi Iwatani - The Rising of the Shield Hero

Peter Griffin - Family guy

Rachel Berry - Glee

Ross Geller - Friends

Tori Vega - Victorious

Victor Frankenstein - Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus

Y/N - Fanfiction

#insufferable protagonist tournament #insufferable protagonist poll

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slytherhys · 5 months

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Threads of Fate & Magical Inns

Synopsis: Elain is driving to Velaris for Christmas but a snowstorm forces her to spend the night at a remote inn in the middle of the Illyrian woods. With only a few days until Christmas, Elain finds herself snowed-in in the middle of nowhere, a solemnly-looking cat her only company. Or so she thought.

This series can also be found on AO3!

TW: Strong language & explicit content

Chapter One: 22nd of December

When Elain had first told her sisters she’d be driving to Velaris instead of taking the train, they’d been rightfully dubious. Besides her hatred for driving, it was known to snow quite frequently in the mountains. Elain had thought her car could’ve endured it despite being a relic from ancient times, but she had seriously underestimated the snowstorm heading her way.The roads were slippery, the heater in her car was broken and an old Christmas CD had gotten stuck in her radio, meaning she had been listening to the same song for the past 40 minutes – a nightmarish rendition of “White Christmas” that consisted of the last 2 verses on loop. She was fearing for both her life and her sanity.

Still, Elain had persisted - it wasn’t like she had any other choice.

Whatever remained of her usual optimist was slowly dwindling as she parked on the side of the road. Nothing surrounded her but a grove of trees, growing snowbanks and the empty road. She couldn’t quite recall the last time she had seen a road sign, but she knew that although she was close enough to Velaris that she might’ve gotten there in under an hour under normal circumstances, she was absolutely not getting there when a blizzard loomed over her.

She knew she should’ve stopped as soon as she had first listened to the announcement of the impending storm on the radio, but truth be told, it hadn’t felt right stopping then. Elain wasn’t entirely sure why – could’ve been the Venti black coffee she had had for breakfast, could’ve been the fact that she hadn’t eaten anything but chocolate candy all day (‘tis the season, after all) – but her gut had told her she should’ve kept driving.

Now, she was stranded in the middle of nowhere, inside an ancient metal contraption with only M&Ms for sustenance.

Elain rested her head against the headrest of her car with a sigh, cursing her fate for the millionth time that day. She wasn’t a big fan of fatalisms or hyperboles, but she was probably the unluckiest person alive. At least, that’s what it felt like watching the snow fall on the hood of her car, a flurry of snowflakes surrounding her at an alarming rate.

Her eyes snagged on something. Just a few miles ahead, a wooden lamppost unexpectedly came to life, its light glaringly bright against the snow covering the ground. Elain could just make out a small wooden sign from under it, even if she couldn’t quite read what it said. Maybe a motel? A service station? If only fate was on her side for once.

She turned her car back on, closing whatever distance remained between her and the sign. But the closer she got, the odder the sight in front of her became. Despite all the snowflakes falling around her, the lamppost remained remarkably undisturbed by both the snow and the wind. With the way the wind was howling, the sight nearly made her delirious.

Through the glare of the light, Elain could easily make out the words in front of her.

THE DUSK INN - Just up the winding road.

Hope bloomed inside her chest as she let out an embarrassing loud yelp. There was no time to question if the inn was open, let alone time to make sense of the weird lamppost and its too-bright light. Elain quickly turned her car to the narrow country road, elation coursing through her veins at an alarming speed. For the first time in a while, Elain felt like fate was on her side.

The more she drove along the gentle incline of the will, the more the temperature inside her car seemed to drop. Here, the sun could barely penetrate the wood’s canopy. Evidence of the last snowfall remained frozen in clumps around the trees where the awning was thicker.

Just as apprehension started to trickle in, Elain turned the corner, a soft gasp coming out of her mouth when she finally spotted what she had been looking for. Standing like one of Feyre’s paintings, a small house stood against the eery, frigid landscape. The inn itself was merely an old-looking cottage with white stone walls and a grey slate roof. Smoke was coming out of the chimney, and the lights to at least two separate rooms were filtering through the thick drapes. Elain could just barely make out the silhouette of someone pacing in their room.

If she hadn’t been looking for it, she doubted she’d be able to find it. Other than the inn and one parked car, there was nothing around her and from the state of the untouched woods, Elain doubted many people ventured to this side of the countryside.

Parking her car, Elain quickly grabbed her things before rushing to the inn’s thick, wooden front door. She pushed the door open, goosebumps covering her skin as warmth quickly chased the cold away from her frozen limbs.

She dropped the suitcase on the floor, looking around the empty foyer. “Hello?” She called, but the sudden stillness was too noticeable. Elain chose to observe her surroundings instead, a pleased smile on her lips as she noticed how absolutely adorable everything was.

The warmth, she quickly realised, was coming from a small carron fireplace just near the door to her right. A cup of tea had been left forgotten on the desk, but other than that, there were no other signs of life. The walls were covered in a dark green flowery wallpaper that played beautifully against the dark wooden panels, the same colour as the floor. Under her feet, however, was a large, rust-coloured rug that muffled her every step as she walked around the entryway. To her left was a door that led to the darkened living room and to her right the dining room. The staircase, Elain assumed, led to the rooms – including the one where she had seen someone pacing. She tried to listen for the sound of footsteps, but a sound from behind her quickly distracted her.

Elain turned around, panting slightly as her eyes locked with an older woman.

If only seconds ago the entryway had seemed completely abandoned, now it was brimming with life. The lamp on the desk was now lit, emanating a soft light onto a leather notebook. The cup of tea was suddenly steaming, though no teapot was in sight.

“Welcome to the Dusk Inn.” The old lady smiled gently. “Running from the storm, are you dear?”

Elain chuckled nervously, brushing off the oddness of it all. “I didn’t have much of a choice.” She looked around, still a bit uncertain.

“We rarely do.” The old lady said in a feathery voice, eyeing her with clear, grey eyes. “I’m guessing you need a room.”

“Is there an available one?” If the silence was any indication, she had several, but it didn’t hurt to be polite.

The old lady chuckled, shaking her head as if that was the silliest thing she had ever heard. “The Dusk Inn welcomes only those it wishes to welcome.” Her eyes glinted, but Elain was momentarily distracted by a moving shadow in the corner of her eye. She frowned, leaning her head back as if to try and see whoever lurked beneath the darkness. “Of course, I have a room for you.” The lady’s voice said.

Elain smiled, sweet relief coursing through her veins. Her gaze snatched on the vase in front her, a beautiful pairing of roses and baby’s breath. Had it been there before? She wasn’t quite sure.

“Here you go, Miss Archeron.” The old lady smiled, handing her a key. “You’ll be in room 6.”

Elain took it, grateful. “Thank you, Mrs…”

“No need for formalities, dear.” She gave her a crooked smile. “Just Rhiannon is fine.”

“Rhiannon, is there anyone else staying here for the night?” She asked, a bit restless at whatever she had seen in the living room.

Rhiannon beamed at that. “Well, of course, Miss Archeron.” She said. “Fate will always have its way, will it not?”

Elain wasn’t sure how to reply, so she opted not to, sending Rhiannon a gentle smile before going up the stairs.

Her room, much like the rest of the inn, was perfectly quaint. The walls were painted in white, the ceiling made up entirely of irregular oak wood beams. Thick drapes covered the only window in the room, but it did little to shut out the howling sound of the wind. The queen-sized bed, however, looked like a dream. There was a fluffy, burgundy comforter as well as a plaid blanket.

All things considered, this inn was the closest thing to paradise Elain had down in the past 24 hours. Sure, some things might’ve sent a saner person running for the hills, but Elain felt oddly comforted. Like she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

At least for the night.

Rhiannon had been amicable enough to make her feel at home, but her sisters were expecting her. Her whole life was expecting her in Velaris, and Elain, for one, couldn’t wait to let everyone know why she had dared drive through the hellish hills of Illyria to get to them. Hazel eyes flashed in her mind, but Elain quickly brushed them away. There would be a time for that. She refused to let herself fall into a spiral of hope and despair as she weighed the cons and pros of what she was about to do.

Elain looked around the room, wondering if Rhys and Feyre were aware of this little cabin in the middle of the woods. Rhiannon hadn’t seemed familiar in any shape or form, but there had been a familiarity to her when she had said Elain’s name for the first time.

Although…had she told Rhiannon her name? Suddenly, going over their conversation from downstairs was like threading through murky water, and even Rhiannon’s face seemed to change the more Elain tried to focus on it.

By the Mother, she needed to eat something, or she’d be passing out soon.

She wondered if Rhiannon would let her use her kitchen, considering there didn’t seem to be enough guests for the inn to serve dinner. Rhiannon, however, was nowhere to be seen. The entryway was empty once again, and other than the flare from the fireplace, no lights illuminated the room.

“Rhiannon?” Elain called, going down the last steps of the staircase. “Hello?” The dining room was darker still, as unfamiliar as the sudden urge to bolt back to her room and only come out in the morning. The charming inn now seemed too cold, too empty. The blizzard made itself heard outside, raging against the windows with enough strength to be menacing.

Through the corner of her, a shadow moved before disappearing once again. Elain was trying not to panic, but all of a sudden, the idea of staying at a remote inn seemed like the worst thing she could’ve done. She rushed to the light switch, heart racing as her hands clumsily turned on the light.

Only to find a white cat staring right back at her, long tail swishing from left to right.

“Oh, hello there,” Elain beamed. “Are you the other guest fate brought to me?”

“Is that why I’m stranded here?” Elain’s head snapped to her right, a gasp escaping her as she made sense of the deep voice coming from the doorway.

There, leaning against the doorframe, stood Azriel Rosehall in all his glory. Elain felt her cheeks heat under his stare, felt her tongue turn to dust as he smiled knowingly, eyeing her from head to toe. His eyes flickered to the solemnly looking cat. “Have you been making deals with the fates, Elain?”

#elriel #elain archeron #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #elriel fanfic #elriel fic #elriel fanfiction #christmas story #threads of fate and magical inns #my writing #christmas prompts #idiots in love

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annamatix · 2 months

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episode 1 of the jenny-anna taylor jurdan collab series YIPPEE (that's a mouthful we'll need to find a better name)

@viivdle did cardan's pov in two parts (linked at the bottom of this post) and i did jude's here

today’s topic: dancing with our hands tied (jurdan’s version)

“i, i loved you in secret” = jude didn’t tell a single soul that she had feelings for cardan

“first sight, yeah we love without reason” = after their first kiss she was super confused and didn’t understand why she was growing feeling for him, hence the ‘without reason’

“oh, 25 years old” = they weren’t 25, but they were very young so this could mean how literally the fate of the land fae was thrust into the hands of ‘kids’ (18?? 19??)

“oh, how were you to know, my love had been frozen. deep blue but you painted me golden” = in tcp jude clearly states that she is not interested in marrying or has feelings for anyone, but cardan kickstarted those feelings, clearly

“oh, and you held me close” = she was around cardan a lot, he kept her close to stead as seneschal and whatnot

“i could’ve spent forever with your hands in my pockets” = this could refer to the way cardan was slowly becoming more spy-like, learning from the roach (‘hands in my pockets’ = him stealing stuff, like her heart)

“picture of your face in an invisible locket” = 1) this is elfhame, so invisible lockets are totally normal, and 2) this could also mean how cardan was always on jude’s mind, like when he turned into a serpent she still imagined him sitting there, giving her pointers in his own sarcastic way

“you said there was nothing in the world that could stop it, i had a bad feeling” = the way when jude was seneschal, cardan would always say things like ‘what a shame not one of them knows who their real ruler is’ and jude always feeling like this power could slip out of her grasp soon

“and darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis” = smirk (sorry) basically this could be about when jude and cardan did something together and agreed on it, it was a rare moment, making it 'sacred'

“people starting talking putting us through our paces” = there’s lots of whispering in courts like elfhame’s and jurdan was definitely affected by them

“i knew there was no one in the world who could take it, i had a bad feeling” = jude crowned cardan against his will, and she had to bear so many responsibilities, so again she felt like the power could fall from her anytime soon

“but we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied” = even though she was seneschal, jude felt powerless in many ways, frustrated that she couldn’t control cardan, hence the ‘hands tied’

“yeah we were dancing, like it was the first time, first time” = jude and cardan kept repressing their feelings for each other, and then whenever they felt something/did something, they were always surprised (‘like it was the first time’ = signaling even though they did it before, they were still shocked, like the first time they did it)

(skipping the rest of the chorus, it’s basically a repeat)

“i, i loved you in spite of, deep fears that the world would divide us” = painfully obvious, a mortal and a faerie?? jude duarte and the beloved high king of elfhame?? not even in your wildest dreams, right?

“so baby can we dance, through an avalanche” = jurdan has been through a LOT together, this somewhat symbolizes that

“and say, say that we got it, i’m a mess but i'm the mess that you wanted” = do i even have to say it? jude i-poison-myself-every-day-and-made-a-deal-with-prince-dain-who-made-me-stab-clean-through-my-hand-plus-i-did-a-shit-ton-of-other-insane-things duarte, and cardan is head over heels for this woman

“oh, cause it’s gravity, keeping you with me” = its so hard to keep cardan under her thumb, and also unbelievable he would do it on his own accord. this could also work romantically, its crazy to her that cardan actually loves her

(skipping the chorus cuz i already did it above)

“i’d kiss you as the lights went out, swaying as the room burned down. i’d hold you as the water rushes in, if i could dance with you again” = symbolizes the time when cardan was a serpent, jude didn’t care which type of cardan he would be, what would happen, or anything else, she just wanted him next to her again. girlie was highkey desperate

(the rest of the song is basically the chorus)

wow thank you for reading until here *bows*

sorry if its shallow jenny is the better analyzer between us two 🙏

cardan's pov part 1

cardan's pov part 2

#phew thats a wrap #cardan greenbriar #jude duarte #jude x cardan #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #tfota #the folk of the air #jurdan #holly black #taylor swift #taylor swift songs #song analysis #analysis #how the king of elfhame learned to hate stories #idk what else to put that should be it yayy

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aladyofgoodtaste · 3 months

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A Court of 'It's giving beauty & the beast' and 'Except you can't tell which one is which'

Spring is rotting away. Not just its Court but across the lands as well. Without it, there can be no new beginnings, no rebirths and nature itself will cease to a halt. And thus Fates dictate that a human and a broken Fae must create a miracle together.

Tamlin thinks that the Mother is cruel for the salvation of his home requires another human’s help while Juno curses whatever entity that Isekai’ed her into this shitty ass book series.

AO3

Chapter 2: It’s the panic attack for me

Juno shares some discoveries. Tamlin is trying to process said discoveries. No one wins.

CH1 |CH3

Tamlin and Juno’s misfortune began when they woke up beside the Rot. For clearer context, both of them woke up in different parts of the Spring Court, yet at the same time. The sun was shining high in the afternoon sky, the grass had patches of darkness that upon contact, became ashes, and the air was foul. Juno found herself underneath a sad, dying tree that used to be oak. Tamlin opened his eyes beside a murky lake where dead, sickly-looking fishes floated on the surface - both of them terribly confused with a voice faintly lingering in the recess of their mind:

“Stop the Rot. Restore Spring.”

What happened next was a series of more misfortune, more confusion, and an altercation that could only erupt from a Fae who had been betrayed by a human and a human who had no idea where she was. Tamlin, who cursed when he discovered that his magic became so weak that it forcefully shifted him back to his Fae form, wandered further into his Court; where the Rot had feasted upon the lands that all was left were husk. Juno, who was supposed to crash at her best friend’s apartment for their sleepover, searched for civilisation. Both ended up meeting in a wasteland that used to be a flourishing wheat field.

The two made eye contact. The two had no idea how to react at first.

The exiled High Lord proved quicker, eager to lose himself in rage. His life had never been the same when a human female walked into it. From then onwards, his prejudice against mankind had turned to the worst. With his last bit of magic and rationality, he transformed back into a beast and launched himself at the poor human female.

Except the human isn’t as ‘poor’ as Tamlin thought. The beast completely missed his claws despite the human being frozen in shock. He scrambled to his feet, snarling mindlessly. The High Lord was more feral than Fae, and that, in itself, is one of the sweetest forms of escapism. All that drives him are pure emotion and needless violence. So he tries again and attacks, only to stumble upon a weak knee. Tamlin was exhausted in every way - magic, body and mind - and the sight of him was beyond pathetic. The once powerful and dignified High Lord of the Spring Court was reduced to an incoherent mess. Yet he tries to attack again and again… and again. None of the blows were delivered.

“Ok. So. I have no idea what I just did, but this is sad, man.” The human female confessed, a complicated expression on her face. She warily - and a bit annoyed - stepped around Tamlin. “You could talk earlier, so can you quit it already? I really need some answers, and you’re the only one around.” Well, he didn’t talk so much as screaming at her about how humans bring nothing but destruction and that he’ll rip out her throat. Not the most sane person that Juno could’ve come across but at this point, she’s desperate for some information.

The beast didn’t give her an answer, for exhaustion finally took him over, and he passed out.

Tamlin was the only one to wake up a second time. The sun had long set beneath the horizon; the night air was chilling and was only kept at bay by a crackling fire.

“You’re awake, Beasty?” It’s the human female again, and that’s when Tamlin realises he’s in a cave and tied up by dry vines when he tries to wiggle. “I bet you can easily break free from those ropes. That wasn’t an invitation, by the way. I’m really hoping you finally chill the fuck out so we can talk.”

She’s right. He can easily rip the vines off of him, even in his weakened state. “You should’ve killed me when you had the chance,” Tamlin scoffs. “I don’t know what you’re planning, but I can promise you, you won’t be making it out of here alive.”

The human pauses from kindling the fire to stare incredulously at him. “Dude, I told you earlier. All I wanted was some answers! A-And you’re the one who attacked me! What the fuck is your deal?”

“Give them an inch, and humans will always take a mile. Your kind is beyond ungrateful even when I… I…” Anger, self-loathing, and despair threaten to choke Tamlin as the image of one female keeps replaying in his mind. He closes his eyes and lets out a shuddering breath.

“Right…” For a brief moment, the human worries that Tamlin is about to dissolve into a crying mess of a puddle. “I’m gonna be honest; I don’t really care what you’re going through right now. I just want to go back home. So if you can shelf your mental breakdown for some other time and tell me where we are right now, that’ll be great.”

It took a herculean effort for Tamlin to calm himself before finally pushing himself up so he could sit properly. Shadows from the fire dance upon his figure. “Wandered a bit too far away from home, mortal? Did your curiosity drive you to explore beyond the Wall?”

Instead of bristling with embarrassment, the human merely blinks. “What Wall? I woke up somewhere here, underneath a tree.” She explained, and Tamlin did not sense any lies. “Which is weird because I can clearly remember that I was walking up to Nora’s apartment. I don’t think I was jumped or murdered because the street was busy with people. Sunday afternoon - you know how it is.”

She speaks freely with no hesitation or any underlying misdirection. This human is honestly lost and… utterly strange to Tamlin. From the clothing that she wore (he had never seen a female wearing a pair of strange dark, circular glasses on her face before) to her manner of speaking. She worries about her current predicament, that much is given, yet nonchalant too - as if she had already resigned to her fate. Curiosity begins to take root within Tamlin, and after staring at the equally strange-shaped bags beside the human, he decides to ask, "Who are you?"

The human tilts her head as if she didn't expect him to cooperate. "Juno." She replies, still honest. "No last name. I see those pointy ears. I have a good guess as to what you are."

"And what am I?"

"Elves. Maybe Vampires? I know some versions have pointy ears, but I don't see fangs. Siren? But we're not even near the ocean. I guess... a Faerie then."

Tamlin's eyebrows nearly raise to his hairline. She's astute. However, he doesn't know what kind of creature she listed as the second option. "Wise of you to keep your name close to your chest against a Fae."

"Play it safe instead of going in aggro; that's my kind of play style," The human female - Juno, as he now knows - speaks with stranger phrases and words. "Since you're in a chatty mood, can you tell me where we are right now?"

Tamlin tosses her an unimpressed look.

"Aww, c'mon! Look, I'll give you some fruits if you just give me one tiny answer." Juno wheedled and presented two pears from behind her back. They look juicy and healthy. A stark difference from the nearby vegetation. It seems she did some foraging while he was passed out.

At that moment, something unthinkable happened - Tamlin's stomach growl. Hunger finally caught up to him.

"Fine," He snaps, refusing to be embarrassed even when Juno smirks. "Release me, and I'll answer your question.”

“That sounds stupid, but what the hell. I got a feeling that you can't do much in your current state anyway.”

The High Lord has never felt so... so degraded! Even against Rhysand and Feyre! This human female is seriously pissing him off. So he makes his displeasure known through his glare as she unties the vines and plops a pear on his lap. When she turns her back on him, Tamlin entertains the thought of slashing her into ribbons... and decides that he's not in the mood. The two dined on whatever fruits Juno could forage and washed their sticky hands and parched throats with clean water. The food wasn't enough to fill his stomach, but it'll have to do for now.

"Well?" Juno prompted once there was nothing but the crackling fire to fill in the silence.

Tamlin sigh. Something he would have never done before an introduction, something his father would beat him to a pulp for his lack of decorum. However, there's little that he gives a fuck about nowadays. "You're in the Spring Court. My Court - I'm Tamlin, its High Lord." He doesn't even know why he gave the human his name and title. It's not like she would even -

"Are you fucking serious?"

Tamlin expected a tilt of the head, he expected a sign of obnoxious confusion or even a mouth shaped into an 'o' because the information means nothing to a human. Or at least, it should mean nothing to her.

What he didn't expect was Juno's face to twist in utter hatred and recognition that ignited his fight-or-flight instincts. Every bit of his training as a warrior warned him that whatever was in front of him couldn't be human, for Tamlin was familiar with animalistic rage, but this? This goes beyond that.

"You're Tamlin... the High Lord of the Spring Court," Juno repeats slowly as if she couldn't believe it. A part of Tamlin feels insulted, but he doesn't know why. "OH, FUCK OFF! SHUT THE FUCK UP! HOLY SHIT, SHUT THE FUCK UP! FUCK YOU, SJM! I'VE BEEN ISEKAI'ED INTO THE COURT OF THORNS AND ROSES!"

This is how the fates of the world change; the worldviews of two characters flipped into a 180°.

Sometime in the night, the fire has long died off. Outside of the cave, a new day is creeping ever closer. Not that it matters to Tamlin and Juno, who might as well be frozen in time due to the sheer absurdity of what they've discovered from each other.

" - LOSE WHATEVER BRAINCELLS I HAVE LEFT WHENEVER I READ SCREENSHOTS OF PAGES FROM THE BOOKS! I CAN'T FUCKING STAND FEYRE EVEN BEFORE SHE WAS RETCONNED IN THE LATER SERIES! I HAVE NEVER HATED A CHARACTER WITH EVERY FIBRE OF MY VERY BEING UNTIL I FOUND OUT ABOUT THAT STUPID PIECE OF WHITE GIRL SHIT AND HER CUNTLICKERS!"

Juno screamed, ranted, cursed, and generally complained very heatedly about a book series called A Court of Thorn and Roses written by a human named Sarah Janet Maas as she paced for hours and hours. Her words were a jumbled mess of pieces from the books and her opinions about the characters, lore and even the maps ("I KNEW THE SERIES IS NOTHING BUT DUMPSTER FIRE WHEN PRYTHIAN IS LITERALLY ENGLAND! SHE CAN'T EVEN CREATE HER OWN MAPS!? WHAT LAZY WRITING! AND PEOPLE LET HER GET AWAY WITH IT? LET HER VILLAINISE IRELAND? WHAT THE FUCK!?"). She's a passionate human - or maybe hateful? - who looked as if she was about to crack open Feyre's or any of her courtiers' ribcage and dig out their hearts so she could feast on them. The manic gleam in her eyes is even more frightful than the King of Hybern’sl.

As for Tamlin, he's provided with two options: Decide that this female is utterly insane or accept the fact that it was fate by a white, mortal woman and her mediocre writing for him to be a villain in someone else's story. And he hates how he's leaning to the latter.

Everything that came out of Juno's mouth aligned with everything that Tamlin went through, everything that he did and did not do. The world that he always knew had been yanked from underneath his feet because -

“ - THE AUDACITY OF THE FUCKING BITCH TO BELIEVE THAT HER ACTIONS HAVE NO CONSEQUENCES WHEN SHE KILLED ANDRAS AND HELLO? WHY WAS HE NOT MENTIONED EVER AGAIN AFTERWARDS!?

Tamlin is nothing more -

“ - AND ANOTHER THING, THAT CLARE BEDDOR BIT!? SCUMMY. SHITTY. AND THE WORST PART? ABSOLUTELY NO ACCOUNTABILITY. ACTUALLY, YEAH, LET’S TALK ABOUT ACCOUNTABILITY - ”

A character to be -

“EVERYTHING THAT YOU DID AS THE STORY PROGRESSED? IT GAVE ABUSER. YOU’RE WAY TO DAMN EMOTIONAL FOR SOMEONE WHO IS A LEADER, MIND YOU, AND LASHED OUT AT EVERY PERCEIVED SLIGHTS AND HARM! I GET THAT YOU WANTED TO PROTECT FUCK’S HER FACE. I GET THAT YOU GOT MAD BEEF WITH RHYSAND ‘CAUSE OF THE PAST. I GET IT! BUT FOR FUCK’S SAKE TAMLIN! YOU COULD’VE PLAYED THE GAME A LOT BETTER!”

Juno suddenly pauses here. She finally turns to Tamlin, who had been silent the entire night. Seeing his grief-stricken face and faraway gaze made her sigh. She strides forward to plant her ass beside him, her voice now soft. “And yet, you’re a much better person than me, Tamlin. ‘Cause if I was told to save my ex’s new lover who has done so many horrible shits to me and my family? I’d spit, piss and shit in Feyre’s mouth before laughing and driving off into the sunset.”

“Used. I’ve been used my entire life.” Tamlin croaks out. His voice is uncomfortably dry. He feels like throwing up, screaming at the high heavens.

He wants to disappear.

“Don’t beat yourself up over it,” Juno sighs. She begins looking around and patting the pockets of her pants. “Apparently, SJM likes to villainise you. You were so thoroughly retconned that it felt like a fanfic where she bashed your character. Don’t let her win. Hell, don’t let the Covid-carrying batboys win either.”

“You just told me that none of this is real! This world, its people and by extension, me!” He roars. He whips his head to the side, hands balling into fists. “I’m a monster, always have been! An irredeemable villain meant to be forgotten while the ‘main characters’ get to enjoy their happily ever after! They won, human!”

Juno rolls her eyes. “So what if you’re ‘irredeemable’? I don’t care about you enough as a character or even hate you! And besides, this isn’t the checkout counter, and you’re not a coupon. Here.” She fishes a piece of chocolate from her pocket and hands it to Tamlin. “It’s valid for you to be upset, but if you don’t face the fact that your story has already ended, you’re gonna continue to spiral like this. It’s not healthy, man.”

Tamlin begrudgingly accepts the chocolate. He unwraps to take a small bite, pleasantly surprised to find it’s filled with caramel. The flavour bursts onto his tongue, and for a moment, the sweetness is enough to tamper with the choking bitterness that threatens to overwhelm him.

“I’m gonna be honest with you - ”

“You weren’t the whole night?”

Juno’s mouth hangs open; she didn’t expect his dry quip. Soon enough, her dark brown eyes dance with mirth.

“That’s cute. Ok, so, what I was trying to say is that exile? Clearly, not a good look on you, Tamlin. The hobo aesthetic isn’t it. Don’t you want your pound of flesh from Shitsand and French Fries?”

She’s genuinely curious, Tamlin understood. Revenge… how many nights did he dream about it? Sometimes, the ‘what ifs’ were the only thing that could help him sleep. What if he still had his army, his sentries? His loyal band of warriors after the wake of Amarantha and Feyre’s attack? He would overthrow Rhysand, finally kill him and then… kill Feyre? The once mortal girl he thought he loved, and she, loved him in return? Thinking about her never fails to send him into a vicious cycle that revenge is merely a pipe dream. And truth be told, he is done with violence especially after the war with Hybern.

So, instead, what he says is, “I just want to be left alone. I’m done with everyone’s bullshit.” It’s as honest as someone like Tamlin could give.

“Fair,” Juno shrugs. “Though I don’t think everyone is done with you just yet...” She trails off. Tamlin follows her attention to the world outside of the cave. Morning has finally risen, and instead of luscious green, what greeted the two was an expansion of black and dry cracks on the ground and lifeless trees. “Quick question: Does the sentence, ’Stop the Rot. Restore Spring.’ means anything to you?”

“Stop the Rot. Restore Spring.”

Tamlin's heart stutter a beat. He recalls that sentence, spoken in his mother’s voice. Now, it echoes in his mind as he meets his eyes with Juno’s.

“Guess you have, huh? Aite. I’ve seen enough anime and read Manhwas about this premise.”

“How… you’ve heard my mother’s voice as well?” Tamlin asks incredulously.

This time, it’s her who is startled. She and Tamlin share the same expression. “What? No! When I first woke up here, I heard that same sentence rattling in my head. Though, I heard it in my Mum’s voice, which is weird because she would never say something so formal to me. It would have been, “Juno! Stop being lazy and go fix Spring already!”

She cackles and slaps her knees. Tamlin ignores her. What does this mean? They both heard the same sentence but in their own mother’s voice? He has never come across such a peculiar conundrum. A single glance at his Court is enough to see the issue at hand - everything is dying or rotting to the core. Tamlin recalls seeing patches of land that appear sickly months after the downfall of his rule and home. Is magic itself leaving the Spring Court? Is that why everything is turning into a husk, and him growing weaker by the day?

As Tamlin ponders about this, Juno entertains herself by rummaging through her bags. Sorting out the items that can help her survive in the long run.

“This is a sign from the Mother,” Tamlin suddenly gasps out, eyes wide with realisation. The cogs in his brain are shifting rapidly as everything starts to fall into place. “I must restore the Spring Court to its former glory before the Rot destroys it completely.” ‘And me along with it’ was what he didn’t say.

“Congrats! You figured it out.” Juno applauded him. In her hand is a thin, rectangular object; her eyes are glued to it. “And it looks like I’ll be helping you out.”

Tamlin immediately scoffs. “I’ve paid the price of needing a mortal’s help,” That’s an overflowing can of worms he never wants to open. “I don’t need anyone’s help. Least of all, you.”

Juno simply hums; his ire sluices off her like water. “Yeah, no, that’s gonna fly with dear, old Mother,” Tamlin bristles, but she continues, “Like I said, I’m familiar with this schtick: The MC falls into a fictional world, gets caught up with the drama, and the only way to go back home is to help solve said drama with some OP powers or whatever. So face it, Legolas Wannabe, your Mother brought me - a puny human - to this shit hole to help you.”

“Just like Amarantha’s curse.” Tamlin replied bitterly.

“Hey, I’m way better than Fry-Her-Face Feyre, alright!?” Juno counters, affronted. She spread her arms as if to prove a point. “I’ll definitely beat your ass if you even think about pulling your old shits again. So! Have we got a Bargain?”

Tamlin narrowed a piercing gaze at her. “You should know better than to strike up a Bargain with me. What? You couldn’t have forgotten what it entails. Not with all your hatred of this world.”

“I didn’t actually read the books. Just picked up enough bits and pieces from mutuals and online posts to get the entire gist of it,” Juno admits without shame. For a moment, Tamlin wondered how someone could hate something so passionately without even properly engaging with it. “You’re right, though; let’s not do a suicide pact. We actually have common sense, unlike some people. So… how are we going to do this?”

“I cannot think of any reasons why you’ve heard the Mother’s voice,” Tamlin ran a hand down his exhausted face. “If the Fates has truly bound us together then… then I will adhere to her words. I will do whatever it takes to stop the Rot. Restore the Spring Court, and you will be helping me every step out of the way. Once it’s over…”

Juno easily jumps in. “Then the opportunity or pathway that can get me home should open up!” She thrust her hand towards him, a pleased grin curling her lips. “I got some ideas on where we can start. You’re in?”

“Tell me more about the books, and I’ll hear you out,” Tamlin demanded, and with nothing else to do, he clasped her hand with his. They’ve sealed the deal. For better or worse, the two of them are in this together now—a human from a world beyond he could ever comprehend and an exiled High Lord who has become Prythian number 1 pariah.

“Oh, I’m gonna dump so many shits on you that you’re gonna regret that sooner than later.” Juno smirks. “Now then, let’s go to your manor. We can start there.”

The annual High Lord meeting hosted by Helion was a success more than any of them would ever know. Except for Juno and Tamlin, of course.

After her friendly chat with Feyre, Juno made no detours and headed straight to where her ‘Mate’ was - hanging out with Tarquin at one of Helion’s more publicly accessible libraries. When she found the two High Lords, they were conversing near the lit fireplace. A cosy atmosphere sets around them like a warm blanket on a winter’s morning. Juno would’ve loved to join them (steal any opportunity to talk to Tarquin since he’s her favourite character among the barrel of proverbial rotten apples), but she and Tamlin need to return home so they can plan their next move.

“Hm? Oh!” It’s Tarquin who notices her first when she enters the room. His blue eyes are akin to the loveliest sapphires, and they light up when she approaches them. “Juno, right? It’s very nice to meet you; I’m Tarquin. The current High Lord of the Summer Court.” He pushes himself off his chair to shake her hand—ever the perfect gentleman.

“Same here,” Juno replies, her voice soft, almost shy. A dramatic contrast when she was talking to Feyre. Internally, she giggles like a high school girl who has been acknowledge by her crush. “Thanks for keeping Tamlin busy. His bark is worse than his bite nowadays, don’t worry.”

Tamlin, in his defence, silently sneers at her.

Tarquin cocks an eyebrow as he stares at him and then back to Juno. He wisely kept whatever thoughts he had to himself. “I don’t know about that, but Tamlin has been an excellent company. He was kind enough to share the foundations of this ‘democracy’ that you spoke about during our meeting. Will you reveal your plans about the new form of governing system in the Spring Court?”

Not so much as spoke but more of dropping a bomb on the High Lords and their Mates’ heads. Juno purposely gave details of the barest bones within 10 minutes, enough to get everyone curious yet leave room for doubts. It took everything in her not to laugh when Beron was the first one to fall for it. But since this is Tarquin…

“Everything will unfold in due time,” Tamlin answered for her instead. He casts a knowing look at Juno. She might rant a lot about how terrible the Court series is, from the author to the very cartography of the world, but she also ‘simps’ a lot about Tarquin and Nesta. Her… bias. “I believe the changes that will be happening in the Spring Court would serve as great references to you in the future.”

(When you’re forced to work together with someone in close quarters for an indefinite amount of time, It’s unreal how quickly Tamlin could decipher her otherworldly phrases, slang and words to the point that he’s semi-fluent when it comes to her manner of speech.)

Tarquin inclines his head. “I will look forward to it.” He suddenly hesitated for a moment before genuine happiness overtook him. “I hope I’m not overstepping when I say this: I’m glad to see you back to your old self again, Tamlin.”

The High Lord of the Spring Court searches for any mockery from Tarquin (steadfastly ignoring how his ‘Mate’ is vibrating out of control and is in the process of cutting the blood circulation off in his arm via clenching), and when he finds none, Tamlin is oddly humbled and embarrassed. It was Tarquin who sought him out after the meeting. It was Tarquin who suggested they relocate to the library when he noticed how tense Tamlin’s shoulders were when eyes followed him into the dining hall. It was Tarquin who was the only one among them who treated him as a fellow High Lord instead of as a traitor of war or a mindless beast.

“The old Tamlin died when my Court fell into ruin - ” Tamlin says after a while. His voice is thick with emotion.

“I’m sorry, the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now - “ Juno interjects underneath her breath, snickering. Tarquin tilts his head, confused.

Tamlin gently elbowed her for the interruption. “Shut it, peanut gallery. As I was saying, it’s better that the old me is dead. Spring is about rebirth, and it’s time I follow suit.”

“Very poignant,” Tarquin replies with a smile. Changes are always heralded by Spring, and he’s glad to see that its High Lord is taking the helm once again. “Then I wish nothing but the best for you and your Mate, Tamlin. May the two of you always be happy.”

“You’re so sweet!” Juno suddenly blurts out, unable to hold back any longer. This beautiful Fae needs to be protected at all costs! “You totally don’t deserve the bullshits from Rice Fail and his Inner Cave. The fucking audacity of those Zionists to trespass into your Court, steal your shit, destroy your building and then reprimand you when you confronted them!? Not to mention how the two of them argued like fucking toddlers over who’s the most jealous, and-and how dare Fugly Fucker use you! You! One of the few things that SJM did right in this world! And can we talk about how if those motherfuckers just talked to you about that damn Books, you’d have easily negotiated with them? What the fuck!? None of them are fit to rule! Oh, and “She’s the High Lady of the Night Court; she can do what wishes” Bitch!? You guys were in the Summer Court! What does that have to do with anything!? Is accountability a word they’re allergic to!? If I was you, I’d - ”

Juno’s mouth is immediately muffled tight by Tamlin’s broad hand.

“She’s your biggest fan,” Tamlin apologises through gritted teeth while Tarquin is utterly taken aback with his eyes wide open. “Don’t pay her any mind.”

“How… How do you - “ Tarquin splutters. Why does she know the exact conversation that transpired between him, Rhysand and Feyre!?

“I’m afraid we must be going now. It was a pleasure, Lord Tarquin.” Tamlin smoothly interrupted. With a glaring Juno in his arms, he Winnowed the two of them back to the Spring Court. Back to the entrance of his manor, which is still under construction.

“What happened to you promising to behave when we’re in the Day Court?” Tamlin demanded once he released the human female. It’s quiet just as they left for the meeting, but now, the night sky greets them with twinkling stars overhead.

“The crimes committed against Tarquin by that shitty ass Court are fucking disgusting.” Juno scoffs with disdain. Without waiting for him, she stepped through the newly repaired doors, and Tamlin rolled his eyes. He follows her stride.

“You realise that he’s probably scared of you now, right?” Tamlin dryly says as the two head deeper. Although it’s been a few months since the two of them started rebuilding the manor, there were still some parts of the area that are in ruins, and the two just can’t move the large rubbles and crumbled hallways all on their own (“What are those muscles for if you can’t lift a simple rock, human!?”, “I work as a dancer you insensitive, fuck! I’m not used to this kind of physical labour!). Still, they have running water, working plumbing and kitchen and a roof above their heads. It will have to do for now. His family home is a shell of its former glory, but after talking to Tarquin, a blooming part of him is excited to start everything from scratch. To create a home where no ghosts of the past or painful memories haunt the walls. “Was there a point to your word dumping on the High Lord of the Summer Court?”

They’re now in the kitchen. Juno perches herself onto one of the high stools, her face scrunched up. “God, you sound like a fucking boomer. Wait, you’re way older than that generation. You’re, what, 500 something? You should be in a museum.” She says, distracted as she rummages through her make-up case.

“I don’t know what that word means.” Tamlin snaps, though there’s no heat behind it. He’d learned that her ire is solely reserved for the Night Court, so whatever else comes out from her mouth is either empty insults or rambles. He rounds the table to heat the stove. He had given Juno what little money he had left from the treasury for grocery and supply shopping this week, and for his part, he became the designated cook and rationed whatever his partner could buy.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Fine. Now, did you get everything you needed from the meeting?”

Juno looks up from her self-appointed task for the evening: Removing her acrylic nails. A broad smirk transforms her unremarkable face into that of a cruel goddess. “Everything and then some. I got to hit my newest punching bag, so that’s a bonus!”

“Right…” Tamlin grimaced when an unknown scent from Juno’s bottle itched his nose. “Will you now explain why you insisted on following me to attend the meeting? And please tell me it’s not because you just wanted to see Tarquin.” To combat that piercing and irritating scent, Tamlin begins cooking a light dinner.

“Tarquin is everything I imagined him to be,” Juno sighs, a little lovestruck. She giggles to herself when Tamlin tosses a deadpan stare. She then focuses back on her nails. “Nah, but for real, I wanted some insurance. You’re in your Healing Era, Tamlin, and that means our goal is to get you back to full power - mentally, emotionally and physically. It’s your rebirth, remember? And I don’t want anyone from the other Courts to interfere with that.”

The word rebirth continues to strike Tamlin’s core. He’s so exhausted from rage… from grief. He wants to change, but…

“Redemption. Do I even deserve it?”

“Not this again. Rebirth and redemption are two different things, Tamlin. The way I see it, you’ve paid your dues in your own way already. You don’t owe anyone else. You wanna turn your life around? Good. Noble, even. But you gotta do it because YOU want it, not because you’re expected to.”

“I didn’t know that you’re capable of such profound words. It seems that tonight is full of surprises.”

“This bitch! I’m trying to help you feel better!”

“Spare us both and stick to insults instead.”

Because Juno is facing Tamlin’s back, she couldn’t see the tiny grin on his face. The mortal woman has been growing on to him like a moss. He doesn’t know if they’re friends yet, but so far, he enjoys having some company again.

(He misses Lucien.)

“You’re so weird,” Says the literal alien from another world. “While you sort out the remaining bits of your existential crisis, I’m gonna be focusing on the security of the Spring Court. Not a lockdown per se. More like… feeding any unwanted parties some false information.” The last of her black nails clatter on the table. Pleased with the shine of her natural nails, she went over beside Tamlin to wash her hands in the sink before wiping them dry. When Tamlin handed her two plates of simple stir-fried noodles with vegetables, she carried them to the table.

“And how exactly will you be doing that?”

“So… remember what I said when we were in the cave?”

“You have to be specific; I got lost among the venomous spew about the Night Court and the fact that I live in a fictional world.”

“Cute, Tamlin. I meant about how Isekai protagonists are usually given some bullshit OP ability.”

“Elaborate what’s ‘OP’.”

“Urgh, overpowered, you amoeba.”

Tamlin stops eating; his fork hangs in the air. He cautiously asks, “You can wield magic?” He sensed nothing! Absolutely nothing from this human the moment they met.

Juno taps her foot against the floor, contemplating. “I don’t know if it’s magic, but I definitely have something. In fact, it saved my fine ass when you tried to attack me.”

The High Lord remembered as clear as day. He has never been brought to such a pathetic state that every time he tried to attack her, they all missed. A stumble. A mis-aim. A stomach wreck with hunger so bad that he could barely stand upright. A disgraceful performance as a warrior. Was it truly because of his weakened state? Tamlin’s pride wanted it to be otherwise, but the more logical part of him warned him that the unknown was a lot worse. “What did you do?”

For the first time since they met, Juno looks… scared and for some reason, Tamlin’s heartstrings twist. “Ok, don’t freak out. I sorta… control which actions you would take among the many possibilities. And time froze too when I was picking them, so that’s cool.”

“You… controlled my actions?” Tamlin repeats slowly.

She sighs and leans back against the chair, arms folded across her chest. “This is an ability that I’ve seen in Blazblue and Umeniko. Let me try my best to explain it to you in the simplest way since it’s quite abstract in theory. I’ll give you a scenario: Aelin wakes up. She’s sitting at the dining table, about to have breakfast. In front of her is a pancake and a bowl of porridge - two possibilities. She picked the pancakes, but I chose the porridge. The world corrects her actions, and without her knowing, she’s cleaning that porridge bowl.”

Tamlin’s jaw is now hanging, and understanding sinks in. “You can change the Fates themselves.”

“In a way. When you launched at me first, time stopped. I could see 4 other possible actions - you would lob my head clean from that jump. The second possibility was you thrusting a claw at my abdomen, tearing out my entrails. The third is you using your sharp teeth, tearing out my neck. The fourth, now this is interesting, was you stumbling after launching at me. So I picked that instead and did the same for the rest of your murderous attempts.”

Juno could control Tamlin. Just like -

A crash. A shout. Precious minutes vanished from Tamlin.

“ - keep it a secret. No, no - keeping such an OP power as a secret is usually the fastest route to the Bad Ending. Like hell would I follow those YA and Manhwa heroines. Fuck! I can’t remember what you’re supposed to do when someone is having a panic attack. Not touch them? Talk them through it? Uh, Tamlin? Tamlin, can you hear me? At least you’re not blindly lashing out, so that’s good. I hope you can listen to me because I promise you - I swear it, OK? - that I won’t ever mess with you like that.”

“How could I possibly trust you?” Tamlin rasped, his eyes are dull. He struggles to ground himself once more, but when he slowly comes to his senses, he finds himself slumped on the floor. The table is flipped, and their dinner is scattered on the floor with bits and pieces of the porcelain plate. “When you’re the second coming of Amarantha.”

Kneeling at a good distance from him, Juno is insulted. Still scared but uncharacteristically solemn. “How can I assure you, Tamlin? A Bargain? Some kind of blood oath? I don’t know what’s available in this world that can make you trust me.”

Tamlin heard stories about the gods when he was still a Youngling. How they are callous, indifferent, and so easily bored by the monotony of life. How it’s considered an honour, a great blessing to be chosen by them. Hah. Tamlin has lived long enough to understand that being unnoticed by heartless divinities is a true blessing.

It’s mind-shattering to realise that Juno is a young god masquerading as a human to stave off the boredom. One that is still growing, still coming into her divinity - a petulant, playful god with venom running in her veins and hatred burning her forever warm. This is who the Mother invoked as a symbol of salvation for Tamlin.

“Will you use your powers on me?”

“Only for your best interest,” Juno admits. “I’m planning on taking the role of a Support Class whenever you’re in a fight. The books claimed that you’re a powerful High Lord - but not as strong as Rice Failure, tch - and I believe it. But just in case, I can make sure that you won’t encounter any close calls or nasty surprises. Plus, I’m not a healer, but if you’re badly injured on the battlefield and, god forbid, no one can get to you in time, I can just replace your body with another version of Tamlin who is strong, whole and not exhausted by the fight.”

He listens, and he processes everything that this capricious creature says. It’s unfathomable.

Silence stretches between the two. Juno is at a loss; for the first time in her life, she desperately wants to convey her most sincere feelings to another person (other than her bestie and parents) and has no idea how, while Tamlin is painfully aware that there’s really nothing that can stop her from turning every living creature in this world into her playthings.

“I need some time to think about this.” Mother, he suddenly has the urge to get rip-roaring drunk just so he can escape for more than a few minutes. “Are you going to dictate what I’ll do next?”

Juno grins. It’s utterly plastic. “I don’t care about you enough as a character to control every aspect of your life, Tamlin.”

Trust is a fickle thing. In Tamlin’s case, who is a Fae, he could only take Juno’s words as a form of trust. How ironic.

He pushes himself up, choosing not to comment when she flinches. He needs to change his skin and, maybe later, find some leftover bottle of wine or whiskey. Just as he was about to exit the kitchen, he paused and asked without turning around. “Who did you play with?” The implication is clear during Juno’s explanation.

“A vertically challenged hag.”

#lady writes #fanfic #acotar #anti ic #anti sjm #modern girl in prythian au #pro tamlin

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annaofthenorthernlights · 1 month

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @firawren

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 123 (year 2021-2024)

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,036,044

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Frozen, Beauty & The Beast (Disney 1991), a little Encanto, House of the Dragon

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Instincts – or the beast inside (E-rated, my first batb1991)

Bury me in your fur (E-rated, batb1991)

Blame it on the books (E-rated, batb1991)

The beach case (T rated, Frozen, collaborated work with @hiptoff)

Love can see the good (T-rated, my first Frozen fanfic)

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, I do! That´s a must 😊

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don´t have angsty endings, but might happen within a fic – f.e. Fall to rise (Gaston redemption au)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All my fics have happy endings 😊. One that means a lot to me is Never too late (Frozen, kristanna elderly residence au, where old Kristoff/Anna fall in love)

8. Do you get hate on fics? Thanks heavens no.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yep, I do! Well, not on my very first writings. The naughtiness grew along the ride 😊

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes, I do – and the craziest is surely All you need is love... actually (Frozen, Brave, Hercules, Moana) and Smut in space (crazily E-rated, Frozen x batb1991) - which is losely based on the legendary christmas movie "Love actually)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I pray not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I translated my own fic Boat ship into German (Boot-ship ahoi) a kristanna vacation au (rated T)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I did the collaborated fic-writing together with @hiptoff as mentioned at 4. (does that count?)

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? Anna/Kristoff, Belle/Adam (Belle/Beast)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? "Of sweet delight in physicality" (title might change…), a hotd canon divergent au, pairing: Alicent Hightower/Laerys Strong, where Alicent and Laerys meet as kids and become friends, Alicent caring deeply for the crippled boy until they grow older and fall in love, but need to hide it due to Alicent´s fate of arranged marriage with king Viserys.

16. What are your writing strengths? Fluff, definitely fluff & dialogues (I must give credit to @hiptoff again who was my very idol for dialogues in the beginning of my writing years). And I think my descriptions of atmosphere and sceneries are draw the reader right into the middle of things (that´s what I have been told 😊)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Angst (that´s longer than just one chapter… lol), hurt, diving into very deep feelings and just scratching at the top to get the fic going…

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I am currently working on a novel in German, but that´s mostly for Nanowrimo…

19. First fandom you wrote for? Frozen

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

That´s a hard one, because I think I love all my fanfics equally the same (seriously), but I think I am very proud on my first fanfic baby “Love can see the good” (kristanna, canon divergent au, post Frozen 2 where I wanted to tell the story of Anna/Kristoff from breaking the damn and going back to Arendelle up to Anna´s coronation and finally a kristanna wedding). And currently I am posting the sequel Love can see beyond. So, this series is my longest and hardest worked on fanfic for Anna/Kristoff and I care deeply for them.

Tagging all for fun @luthien-under-bough @hiptoff @justfrozenthings @sweetpeapod @99goosebumps @shield-agent78 @reconciledviolence729 @endlesstwanted

#tag game #ask game #my writing #fanfiction #frozen #batb1991 #other fandoms

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theagentsofdisney · 1 month

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Welcome to the official blog of my gigantic Disney crossover fanfic!!

What is it, you may ask? Well, to put it simply, it's a crossover of every single Disney movie (and most shows) designed to answer the question of how would they all work as one story, and what would that story be?

Well, here's my (very long) attempt!

Starting off with Book 1: When You Wish Upon a Star, we focus on 4 main stories:

1. The Black Cauldron (re-write): Taran of Caer Dallben learns of the beauty and ugly nature of humanity in a war that holds the fate of magic.

2. Frozen Moon (Sequel crossover of Tangled and Frozen): Set after Frozen II and Tangled the Series, Cassandra goes on a journey of redemption when a secret force threatens the spirits of magic and the seasons.

3. Marcus and The Agents of D.I.S.N.E.Y in The Atlantis Complex (OC): In the 1960's, a young man named Marcus joins a secret organisation designed to protect magic. Alongside Jane Darling, he must solve a dispute between Atlantis and Atlantica.

4. Big Hero 7 (sequel): set after Big Hero 6: The Series, Hiro Hamada tries to fix the eternal loop of super heroism, but he has no idea what he's done...

Updates once a week when possible, but art and writing take time, so there will be plenty hiatuses.

I truly hope you enjoy, it's a labor of love I've worked on for years! I accept any asks and engagement (it really helps motivation too)!

This blog will mainly be used to: promote the story and notify of new chapters, show the art my sister makes for it, answer questions, reblog any and all art or posts about it (I know that's unlikely but let an author dream) and just serve as a hub for my passion project!

Thank you and enjoy the ride!

#Agents of D.I.S.N.E.Y #disney #writing #disney fanfiction #black cauldron #tangled #tangled the series #cassandra tangled #my ocs #jane darling #atlantis the lost empire #the little mermaid #merlin disney #princess and the frog #big hero 6 #frozen

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keithtreason · 9 months

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youtube

29 songs - so many sources of footage

Tattoo | The Dragon Prince Promare Raya and the Last Dragon Arcane Nimona Demon Slayer How to Train Your Dragon Pokémon: Twilight Wings Naruto How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World Weathering with You Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Cha Cha Cha | Jujutsu Kaisen Chainsaw Man

Unicorn | The Rising of the Shield Hero Tower of God Fate/Grand Order - Absolute Demonic Front: Babylonia Beyond the Boundary The Case Study of Vanitas One-Punch Man Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic

Due Vite | BlackWolfsspirit Liz and the Blue Bird Your Name A Silent Voice Weathering with You

Queen of the Kings | Balto The Lion King Raya and the Last Dragon The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride Corpse Bride Kung Fu Panda Lady and the Tramp The Rescuers Down Under Tarzan Brave Wolfwalkers Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Oliver & Company Onward Turning Red

Heart of Steel | The Bad Guys Zootopia Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Gorillaz (Silent Running, Cracker Island) Because of You | Fellerya An Extremely Goofy Movie Raya and the Last Dragon Spirit Untamed Sing Tangled Hazbin Hotel - Addict

Bridges | The Legend of Korra Nimona Arcane Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Dragon Age: Absolution Revolutionary Girl Utena Wolfwalkers Over the Moon Vinland Saga Mulan Princess Tutu

Promise | Aleu the Husky Ice Age: Continental Drift The Lion King Kung Fu Panda 2 Wolfwalkers Bolt Balto Cool World Raya and the Last Dragon Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole Kung Fu panda Tarzan Puss in Boots: The Last Wish The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride Wolf Children Pokémon Journeys: The Series Oliver & Company The Croods: A New Age

My Sister’s Crown | Cirera Pocahontas Mulan Aladdin Anastasia The Hunchback of Notre Dame Atlantis: The Lost Empire Beauty and the Beast The Little Mermaid Hercules

Stay | zuckarr Destiny of the Shrine Maiden No.6 Terror in Resonance Devilman Crybaby Sasaki to Miyano Tales of Zestiria the X Violet Evergarden Tsurune Seraph of the End Free!

Mama ŠČ! | Freak Kitchen The Aristocats Mulan The Emperor’s New Groove Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Nimona The Super Mario Bros.

Who The Hell Is Edgar? | The Hunchback of Notre Dame We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story Black Tulip (1988) Anastasia The Little Mermaid Rock and Rule Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas The Pagemaster The BFG (1989) The Princess and the Pea (2002) Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs FernGully: The Last Rainforest The Black Cauldron

Evidemment | K/DA Frozen 2 How to Train Your Dragon Raya and the Last Dragon Super Smash Bros. Ultimate - More Fighters Kiriko - Overwatch 2 Animated Short Komi Can’t Communicate Fate/stay night: Heaven's Feel III. spring song Chainsaw Man My Little Pony: The Movie Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken The Mitchells vs. the Machines Encanto Demon Slayer Lilo and Stitch Turning Red Appleseed Helluva Boss Big Hero 6 Wishing Dead - Rainimator KonoSuba Fire Force Nikki and the God of Dreams | A New Nikki Story JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Genshin Impact

Eaea | The Prince of Egypt The Hunchback of Notre Dame La Reine Soleil Zarafa

Soarele și Luna | Centaurworld Primal (2019) Corpse Bride Mune: Guardian of the Moon Wakfu Kirikou and the Sorceress The Dragon Prince The Princess and the frog The Prince of Egypt Birdboy: The Forgotten Children Sahara

Solo | Blueangelj Rosario + Vampire K-On! Sk8 the Infinity Golden Time My Little Monster Uta no Prince-Sama Cardcaptor Sakura Movie 2: The Sealed Card Bungo Stray Dogs Sasaki and Miyano Clannad Given the Movie Given: Uragawa no Sonzai

Watergun | MovieEdyt Ferdinand Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole How to Train Your Dragon 2 Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron Raya and the Last Dragon The Lion King Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio Ice Age Luca White Fang (2018) Disney’s Dinosaur

Carpe Diem | btloov Bambi The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride The Fox and the Hound Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure Oliver & Company The Aristocats The Lion King Bambi II

Duje | Encanto The Lion King Bambi 2 The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure

Ai Coração | Gepardzia Animash 101 Dalmatians My Little Pony: The Movie Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Bolt Isle of Dogs Tarzan Zootopia The Lion King Scarborough Fair Don't Starve Together: Disconnected [WX-78 Animated Short] How to Train Your Dragon 2 Beauty and the Beast My Little Pony: A New Generation The Boxtrolls The Road to El Dorado Puss in Boots

Samo mi se spava | How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse How to Train Your Dragon 2 How to Train Your Dragon Trollhunters Wizards (Tales of Arcadia) Atlantis: The Lost Empire Rise of the Guardians Mune: Guardian of the Moon Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole

Blood & Glitter | Persona 5 Launch Trailer Seraph of the End No. 6 Persona 5: The Animation

Echo | Star Wars: Visions (Screecher's Reach, The Spy Dancer, The Village Bride, Lop & Ochō) The Tale of the Princess Kaguya Wolfwalkers Amphibia Assassination Classroom The Owl House Infinity Train Monkie Kid Arcane Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Kaguya-sama: Love Is War—The First Kiss That Never Ends Nimona Tear Along the Dotted Line Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio Centaurworld Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

Breaking My Heart | Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Miraculous Ladybug Roadside Romeo Arcane Laputa: Castle in the Sky Princess Mononoke Kiki’s Delivery Service The Wind Rises She-Ra and the Princesses of Power Helluva Boss The Bad Guys Beastars Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole Naruto Wolfwalkers Violet Evergarden

What They Say | Ranking of Kings Spirited Away The Ancient Magus’ Bride The Legend of Korra To Your Eternity Mushishi A Silent Voice Hotarubi no Mori e Hunter x Hunter Heaven Official’s Blessing Banana Fish Violet Evergarden Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Bungo Stray Dogs

Like An Animal | Toy Story Cars Bolt Zambezia Turbo

We Are One | Zootopia Tangled Rio Brother Bear The Aristocats Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure Oliver & Company Puss in Boots: The Last Wish The Lion King The Fox and the Hound Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked An Extremely Goofy Movie Aladdin Beauty and the beast Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

Tell Me More | The Cat Returns From Up On Poppy Hill Kiki’s Delivery Service Howl’s Moving Castle Spirited Away The Secret World of Arrietty When Marnie Was There Whisper of the Heart My Neighbor Totoro Ocean Waves The Wind Rises Tales from Earthsea Princess Mononoke Ponyo Porco Rosso Laputa: Castle in the Sky Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

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greetingfromthedead · 1 month

Text

Shepherd Story 2 (God!Knives x F!Reader)

Plot: In a world where fallen gods live among you, there is the god of winter and death who is also eternally bound to you with body and soul. The time has come for him to visit you again.

Series: Shepherd. Check out Story 1 and Story 3!

Pairing: God!Knives x F!Reader

Raiting: NSFW!! 18+!! R!! Explicit!! Minors DNI

Tags: fantasy!AU, god!AU, no use of "y/n", smut (I just got carried away in the beginning), established relationship, gods, feathery plant, fated love, romance, legends, nature magic, reunion, intimacy, possessive behavior, tenderness, some fluff, body worship, light bondage, vaginal fingering, oral f receiving, hand job, p in v sex

Word count: 4k

Author's Note: This is a continuation of Shepherd. This story is inspired by @triplesilverstar's god!AU. There isn't much lore here, but I already have ideas for a 3rd installment. This AU will rot my brain out.

The cycle is nearly complete again. The summer heat caressed your cheeks, and the trees took on a yellow hue. This body had not felt the heat of midsummer or seen the different colors of nature. Despite living in the south, the creeping winter lasting 50 years still left its mark. But you remember from all your past lives the changing seasons that seemed to last forever. You don't miss the sunny days or the shades of spring. You welcome the falling leaves and the chilly northern winds, for they are brought on by something more precious.

The song of your heart has gotten louder and louder as the weeks have passed, and the familiar restlessness of your ancient soul has been tugging you towards the dark forests surrounding your home. But you know there is no need to go; you are found, and the melody echoing from your chest will always guide him back to you without fault.

You look up from your workbench as the silent whine of ice forming touches your ears. He is here. The god of winter and death has arrived, greeting you with breathtaking bouquets of frosted flowers covering your windows. They glimmer in the last rays of daylight as you set aside your book and rise to meet him.

You open your front door into the frigid evening air. It is snowing again, just like last time, and once again, you see him approaching from the edge of the forest. This time he isn't frozen over, his beautiful feathery wings trailing behind him with soft rustling. His ice cold eyes are on you, but tonight they don't nail you to your spot with terror. In them, you recognize the hundreds of lifetimes you've lived, your love reaching back to times so old that even the stories from it have died.

"I've been waiting for you, Beloved," you say as you step off your doorstep onto the freezing pathway. The frost brought on by his presence melts under your bare feet, and it gets colder with every step you take towards him.

"I've been yearning for you, my love," he replies, his steely gaze looking through this mortal body of yours and only seeing the soul he fell in love with millennia ago. "I patiently waited for the day to lay my eyes on you once again."

"Come now; I have something of yours." You reach out your hand with a smile to invite him to take it. He closes the distance and traces his digits along the lines of your open palm. His cold touch chills the blood in your veins, but just for a moment. His fingers find the spaces between yours, intertwining effortlessly as if they were always meant to be there. With that, the markings covering his body light up with a dim blue light. The sight only lasts for a few seconds before the patterns disappear again.

"As always, I thank you, sweet Shepherd, for keeping it safe." His voice is quiet and soothing, painting images of snow covered meadows and peaceful forests in your mind. He presses your hand to the middle of his chest, where you feel his heart awakening. The beat hastens as he holds your gaze. "You consume me. I dream of you every hour of every day."

His fingers let go of yours to trace along your bare forearms. You don't even notice the cold anymore as his touch leaves burning trails in its wake. You lean in closer, unable to resist the pull of his soul.

"For tonight, I am not a mere dream. I am yours to hold, and we have a lot of time to make up for, darling." You reach out your free hand to touch his sharp jaw line and feel the warmth emanating from his skin. The god bows his head to you as his lips find yours. It fills you with euphoria, reaching into the farthest corners of your being. Your heart beats like a wardrum, echoing the sounds of times past. His arms wrap around you, pulling you flush against him as he leans you back. His kiss acting as a wordless prayer.

The snowflakes gently falling from the heavens land on your face like delicate touches, and the feeling of them melting on your skin lingers for long after they are gone. His stiff hands clutch tightly at your waist and lift you up from the ground. Your palms find balance on his broad shoulders. His sharp gaze looks up into your dumbfounded face as he carries you back to your cottage. A familiar feathery tendril slinks out from between his mass of wings and gently brushes against your cheek, drying up the wetness left there by the thawing snow. You lift one arm from his body to touch the tendril and let it slip through your fingers.

He sets you down as he reaches the doorway and lets you guide him inside, where his presence fills the small room with shadows. The door can barely shut behind him as you feel more soft touches trail along your skin. You recognize them as the slim helping limbs, and you feel two of them trying to slink their way under your blouse. His large hands land on your hips as you feel him press against your back. He leans down and whispers in your ear, "You fill me with desire and make me lose my mind. I am nothing more than a pathetic and weak man in your presence. My thoughts focused on every way to please you. I crave your touch and long for the warmth of your body."

His hands travel around you, pushing the thin fabric of your top with them, baring your skin around your waist. You feel the contour of his muscles against you and the warmth of his cheek pressing into yours. His fingers start to undo the buttons as a hand slithers underneath to dance along your bare skin.

"I come like a rabid dog to your doorstep, a starved animal desperate for the smallest particle of your affection. I come with my teeth bared and my chest full of longing. You have me crawling in desperate devotion for you." His voice cuts like a knife into your hazing thoughts.

"You're a god," you remind him as he opens the front of your blouse.

"And I am powerless in your glory." His hot breath touches your skin at the base of your neck, and his lips trail down your shoulder.

Both of his hands travel along your figure, exploring every curve and crevice with hunger. A few of his tendrils sneak under your skirts, caressing along your legs up to your thighs. Your hands cover his as his long fingers press into the supple flesh of your breasts. The creeping feathers lick over the hot core between your legs. Your breathing gets heavier as his hands get rougher, and his kisses are replaced by sharp teeth trailing over your skin. A shiver runs along your spine as he makes his way up your neck.

He whispers into your ear as the tip of his nose digs into your helix. "Will you allow me to be reminded of your sweetness? So it can turn to bitter longing when we are apart?"

You swallow hard, and he doesn't wait for your response. He turns you around, and his lips find yours in a searing kiss. His hands push off the garment, still trapping your arms, and the tendrils pull down your underwear. He guides you backwards, and you can only take a few strides across the little room until the edge of your workbench digs into the back of your thighs. He effortlessly lifts you onto the edge and settles between your legs. His fingers frame your face as he kisses you deeply, his tongue exploring every corner of your mouth. Your hands travel along his body to undo the clasp of his robe on his shoulder and let it fall between your bodies. Your fingers trail down his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your touch. As he leans in closer, his breath hot against your neck, you feel a shiver run down your spine. The anticipation builds as he whispers his desires in your ear, sending a hot wave into our belly.

Your arms reach around him, and your digits find where the wings meet his back. Your fingers are grabbing onto the mighty and soft bases as his kisses move along your neck, leaving you softly moaning as his hands caress you. Some of his tendrils have moved on to peel back the layers of your skirts, carefully bunching them up onto your lap and holding them there. The god's tender hand runs along your thigh, and two more tendrils appear to weave around your ankles and calves. His touch moves closer to the heat emanating from your longing sex.

The little helping limbs pull your legs apart for him to run his thumb along your wet slit. His fingers expertly tease your folds. With each gentle stroke, you feel yourself surrendering to the pleasure he effortlessly evokes. More tendrils appear that wrap themselves tenderly around your form. They hold you securely in place as the god's touch becomes more intense, sending waves of pleasure through your body. You can't help but arch your back and moan softly as he continues. His lips move down from your collarbone and skip over the tendril making its way to your neck. He focuses on the space between your breasts before picking one and lapping at the hardening bud in the center. The feathers tickle you gently and help to keep you up as his looming form forces you backward. A finger presses its way through your entrance, and the juices gush onto his hand. The god groans against your skin, and you can feel the vibration all throughout your body. His digit is quickly followed by a second one as they start to stretch and explore your inner walls, seeking out every sensitive spot within you. The sensation of his fingers moving inside you, combined with the soft feathers caressing your skin, sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body, leaving you breathless and wanting more. His kisses move down along your sternum, and two tendrils make you release the wings on his back that you had held on to with all your might. Finally free from your grip, he can lower himself to the floor. He looks up at you from between your legs before turning to brush his lips along your inner thigh.

His mouth finds its way to your throbbing clit, his tongue flicking and circling with precision. The sensation is overwhelming, pushing you closer to the edge of ecstasy. The tendrils tighten their grip further as your body jerks, and your belly contracts in anticipation. His tongue buries into your folds as he laps up your desire for him. Strangled cries and whimpers escape your throat as he keeps you teetering on the edge of climax, prolonging the exquisite torture. The little feathery limbs around your wrists let go to allow you to lace your fingers into his pale blonde hair and pull on it. The fingers of his free hand dig into your hip with enough fierceness to leave marks. The other hand pumps into you with curled digits. With a final flick of his tongue, you shatter into a million pieces, your body convulsing with pleasure as you ride the waves of climax.

He doesn't stop yet, his tongue replacing the fingers he pulled from you, drinking up every spilled drop like a dying man presented with the fountain of immortality. Both his hands hold on to your hips, pulling you closer as you slowly come down from the initial high, but his actions still cloud your mind with pleasure.

His face pulls away from you, and you get to see his adoring eyes look up at you. This gaze is yours alone; no other soul is privy to it. His one. His only. Despite the soft nature of his expression, his lips aren't graced with a smile; an iciness fit for the god of winter lingers there. You know this face too well; it's nothing more than a mask, trying to hide his inpatient intentions. As he rises up to stand before you, the distance grows enough for you to bask in the glory of his form. You see the sparse little feathers growing by the collarbones, his wide and muscular chest, now bare for you since his flowy white robe hangs from his hips. Yet the layers of fabric are not able to hide his desire for you.

As he steps closer, he relieves his body from the garment and lifts you up from the wooden surface with the tendrils to remove your skirts leaving you as naked as the day you were born. He presses himself between your legs as he lowers you down again and you wrap yourself around him, your feet locking together on his ass. His cheek presses against yours, his warm breath tickling your neck as his hands stroke your sides. You enjoy his closeness, and the slight tickling makes you look down. You feel his hard length press against you, but as you look, you see the tip poke out between your bellies. It leaves a wet spot on your skin. You scoot your ass back enough to fit your hand between your bodies.

You touch your own dripping sex first, collecting some of the slick on your digits before capturing his shaft and starting to run your palm along the length of it before wrapping your fingers around it. You continue to stroke him firmly, feeling him twitch in your hand. With every pass, your thumb strokes over the tip, and his heavy breath caresses your ear as silent moans threaten to escape him. Your other hand holds on to his hair as you continue your steady pace. He arches his back and lets out a low groan of pleasure as you twist your hand around him, and the sound turns into a growl as he nips at your ear. You know he is at his wit's end, unable to control himself any longer. You release the vice like grip of your legs, and he knows to lean back. You run his sensitive tip through your folds before lining him up at your entrance. You are dripping in anticipation, and he can slowly sink into your heat as the walls clamp down around him. You let out a soft moan as he fills you completely.

His hips start to move in shallow thrusts as your fingers grip his hair and feathers. His panting lips move to your throat, forcing your head back, but the pleasure is too much to keep your eyes open anyway. You let yourself enjoy the overwhelming sensation. He grinds himself to the bottom of your well, hitting that spot inside you that makes you tighten your legs around him. You feel the tendrils around you come to life again with new vigor as they strangle your torso and opening your legs wider for him. You are too bound by him to do much of anything except moan with overwhelming pleasure towards the heavens. You are completely lost in the moment, surrendering yourself to his every touch. Your mind is consumed with desire, and your body aches for more.

As if sensing your despair, he increases the intensity of his movements—no longer shallow thrusts but deep, powerful strokes that send waves of delight through every fiber of your being. His teeth graze your skin as his lips move hungrily against the skin of your neck. He relishes the vibrations escaping your throat, his hands grabbing you tight and pulling you closer to him.

You quiver around him as your body tightens in pleasure, every nerve ending on fire with lust. His pace has turned into a frantic pounding as he drives deep into you. The small room is filled with a symphony of your voices, moaning in unison to the building crescendo of ecstasy.

The coil that has been tightening with every thrust of your lover finally releases, sending you over the edge into a state of pure bliss. You call out his name as your body convulses around him, tripping him too over the verge of climax. He fills you with warmth as your pulsing milks him. You feel yourself spilling over as your hands release their tight grip on him. You go boneless as the last of the intense pleasure washes over and retreats. You are kept up by his strong arms and tendrils wrapped around you. His lips move down to your chest, where he leaves more of his burning kisses as you still feel him panting against your skin. You are so entangled in him, you aren't sure where he ends and you start.

The tendril that has been around your neck like a necklace slithers away and is replaced by the god of death's long fingers. He squeezes just enough to slightly restrict your airway, making your heavy breath hitch in your throat. He kisses the edge of your jaw, and you turn your burning gaze on him. What you wouldn't give to crawl out of this mortal body and return to the time where you had no need for it. You curse the gods who turned you this way, forcing the two of you to hold back every step of the way. Your love transcends the limitations set by this meek form. You don't want him to be vigilant about your weak body; you want the love you make to thunder across the land with the strength of a thousand storms. You want him to stay. Yet he will bring death even to you if he lingers too long. You grab hold of his chin and move his lips to yours so your tongue can taste the sweetness of his mouth. A groan escapes him as his other hand pulls on your lower back, pressing you even closer to him. You are left gasping and desperate for more.

His fingers release you again, and he grabs hold of your hips. There is no chance of you sliding away from his grasp, as he holds you both with his strong arms and the tendrils woven around you. He picks you up from the workbench and heads to where he knows your bed to be. You can still feel him inside you, as he never pulled away far enough from your body to break that bond. As he steps into the shimmering moonlight, he stops. Long shadows are painted on his skin, and his pale blue eyes glimmer, reminding you of ice crystals, making him appear otherworldly.

"My gorgeous nymph, beautiful as the day I first saw you," he whispers, his voice sending shivers down your spine. You know his calm demeanor hides a raging fire just beneath the surface. You know you are the moth to his flame, and you cannot resist being drawn closer to him, even though you know it will eventually consume you.

"My Beloved." You whisper back, your hands cradling his face.

He doesn't linger by the window any longer but continues onward to your bed. He turns and stretches out his enormous wings before sitting down and situating you on his lap, your legs kneeling to either side of his thighs as you are spread out for him again.

He looks up at your face, the ancient fire you share burning in both of your gazes. The storming of your soul against the confines of your human body is a tempest, spilling over into his soul.

"I want to lay waist to their domain, to set fire to their realm, where they look down upon us, until their marble stairs melt away. I want to make them grovel and beg for forgiveness at your feet for the shackles they have placed upon you. Let me seek justice the only way I know how. Tell me to go to war, Shepherd!"

"You will lose without your heart, and I refuse to give it back," you say with a tone that won't allow him to argue. Instead, you put your hands on his shoulders and grind your hips into his lap.

You feel his breath shudder for a moment before his hands run up your body, cupping your breasts as you lean back. The need grows again, fed by the flames of your love, as you roll your hips against his, feeling the heat between you intensify. His lips find yours, and you lose yourself in the passion of the moment. You feel him hardening inside you again, aching for more. His fingers dance over your sensitive skin as the tendrils retreat, and he gives you full control over your body again. Your movements grow bolder as he swells inside you. Soon enough, you find yourself feverishly riding him, unable to hold back any longer. He uses the tendrils to move the both of you further onto the bed without disturbing your bouncing. You force him onto his back as you continue to rock your hips against his with a passion that consumes you both. Any attempt to prolong the moment is futile, as the sight of him relishing in your beauty is intoxicating. His fingers dig into your thighs as he starts to buck up into you with an urgency that matches your own. A tendril pushes against the tender bundle of nerves to brush against it. There is time for tenderness later. For now, you are a wildebeest in heat, desperate for his touch and his seed. You are lost in the moment, consumed by the age-old desire between you.

As your bodies move in perfect synchronization, the world around you fades away, leaving only the two of you in a whirlwind of passion. The intensity builds until it reaches its peak, leaving you breathless and completely enraptured by him. As you collide into him, he pulls you in for a breathless and passionate kiss that leaves you wanting more. He wraps you in his wings as he turns and pins you underneath him. The god still looks ravenous as he pulls away from you and continues to grind his hips against yours. He kisses the deepest part of you, and it makes you whine out his name until you're begging for him to never stop.

Chasing one release after the other, you are soon spent, your body exhausted and limp, yet your soul begs him to keep going. The night goes by with him mapping your body with his blazing lips and exploring every inch of your skin with his fingertips, leaving you breathless and thinking you might die in the arms of the god of winter and death.

As the sun begins to kiss the tops of the trees, you find yourself tangled in his embrace, feeling a sense of completeness and contentment. You know the time has come again for him to leave your side, but for a little bit, the yearning in the pit of your stomach has found its fill. You know you will see him again as another cycle of nature reaches its end, and until then, you have a job to do.

The bittersweet goodbye stings your heart as his lips linger on yours for longer than they need, his fingers gripping your waist tightly, a rigidity in his body betraying the calm facade he's trying to maintain. As he pulls away, your loving gaze meets his stern eyes. Your thumb trails over the beauty mark on his cheek, a moment of silent understanding passing between you. You know he has no desire to leave, yet he must rip himself from the beautiful dream that is your embrace.

"I will wait for you, my darling," you whisper into his ear before placing a last kiss on his cheek.

"And I will return to you, forever and always," he promises before turning away from you with sorrow in his eyes. "Keep it safe for me, sweetling."

Check out Story 1 and Story 3!

"Foolish man, that's why I don't give it back." You chuckle lightly and watch him silently walk across the frosted yard to disappear before daylight floods his path.

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