#He followed some people far away once but he can't remember it very well because as much as he hates to admit it

[pathetichimbos]

It all started with a road trip.

Nothing new, nothing special. Just a group of three teenagers driving halfway across the country to see their favorite musicians live in Nashville, Tennessee. It was supposed to be an amazing, unforgettable trip for the trio, a way to make timeless memories with their closest friends, make new ones and grow as people.

Of course, we all know how this ends.

"I am sick of this stupid freakin' house! I hate it here! I never get to do anything!" Loud stomps storm up the stairs as if they're trying to knock the whole house down, "I hate this family, and I hate you! You are the worst dad in the whole stupid universe!"

The bedroom door slams loudly, followed by angry yells and things being thrown as Thomas flinches, staring up the stairs.

His daughter's words sting as they ring in his head, and he swears he can almost feel his heart snapping in two.

"She doesn't mean it, hun, she's just angry..." You seem to read his mind once again, a gentle hand rubbing his back as you see his entire demeanor deflate before your very eyes, "Just give her some time. She'll come around."

He sighs, letting his head hang. He had always been close with Mariella, ever since she had been born. He was the one she'd fall asleep with, the one she'd stop crying for, and as soon as she could walk he was the one she'd follow around the house.

He loves his son as well, of course, his twins are his angels, but Nicholas was a Mama's boy through and through, and while they weren't distant by any means, Mari had always been much closer to her father.

With her knack for sewing and love of rock, the two of them got along very well, even despite their fair share of disagreements.

Maybe their closeness was why she assumed he'd say yes and let her run off 13 hours away from home with her two best friends for a concert.

But the thought of his sixteen year old daughter being that far away from home with two other sixteen year olds he didn't know all that well practically gave him a heart attack.

It didn't seem to matter now, though, given that he was sure the ache in his chest was far worse than any heart attack could be.

She doesn't come out of her room for the rest of the night, blasting her music loudly in some sort of retaliation against the two of you. It takes Hoyt beating on the door well past ten pm to get her to finally turn it down so everyone could get some rest.

"That girl is such a handful," You huff, closing your book and setting it on the side table, "She's got too much of you in her, that's for sure."

Thomas doesn't seem to react to your playful jab, turned on his side and away from you in silence.

"...Thomas?" You lean over, almost assuming he's asleep.

He sighs, staring at the wall intently, a hurt look plastered on his face.

"Oh, Tommy, come on now, you know she didn't mean it." You place a comforting hand on his side, slowly moving it up and down, "She's a teenager, all teenagers hate their parents."

He grumbles, turning towards the bed more.

You sigh, wrapping your arm around him and trying to pull him to turn towards you, "Come on, come here."

He rolls over with ease, settling into your side with a familiar comfort as he rests his head on your chest.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Thomas. She's just angry. At you, at me, at the world. It's tough being a teenager, you know." You run your hand through his hair as he nods, "You've gotta remember, hun, she's experiencing a lot of new emotions for the very first time. To her, being told she can't go off with her friends on a road trip is the worst thing in the world because she's never experienced anything worse. And that's a good thing. She has a good life, and she knows that. Just give her some time. She'll come around."

He sighs, nodding and seeming to relax as you explain it to him.

"...And you're not a terrible father. You're an amazing one, actually. Even if she doesn't realize it now, one day she will. Just keep doing what you're doing, love. It'll get better, I promise."

He closes his eyes, burying his face in your chest as he huffs a little, his eyes tearing up at your words.

His children are his greatest accomplishment, and he's always put 110% effort in to give them the best lives possible, and he always will. The mere thought of Mariella hating him made his heart shatter with overwhelming emotions, and hearing you tell him that he's a good father simply sends it into overdrive as he quietly sobs into your shirt.

"It's okay, Tommy, I've got you." You lay your head against his as he cries, working through everything that had happened today.

And, of course, you're right. It takes three days and a lot of the silent treatment from his daughters end, but soon enough she comes back to her father, apologizing for the things she said and did. He forgives her, to no one's surprise. In fact, you're quite sure he'd forgive her for shooting him in the leg for shits and giggles.

In the end, everything works out for the best. Her friends promise to tell her everything and take plenty of pictures to share when they get back.

That is, if they get back.

After all, two teenagers, going on the road all alone?

Well, we all know how that ends.

[crusty-chronicles]

hii! i really love your airhead s/o series!! especially that ging one, perhaps can you make a part 2 of airhead s/o x ging? i really love it😭😭

You know what, why the hell not. There simply isn't enough of this stinky man out there and I truly do love him. He's cute in the feral rat kinda way 🥺

BONUS AIRHEADED S/O HEADCANNONS: Ging part 2

Like a thorn in his side, you simply won't leave

He doesn't recall how exactly he met you, but he does remember what he said that started all this.

"Keep up with me if you can."

And keep up you did. A little too well. And now he was stuck with you.

Buys plastic plates and Styrofoam cups because you can't break them.

Seriously, every good dish he had is shattered in the trash somewhere.

No plastic spoons or forks though

He tried that once and you had broken them, unawares that the extra crunch to your cereal was plastic

Is amazed and a little curious to find out you set the sink on fire.

Like honsetly, what the fuck???? Should he be impressed or scared.

Ging is a lazy stinky man

He has you in one of those backpacks with leashes when you go out in crowded places.

Cannot be bothered to go looking for you, so the next best thing is to leash you so you don't wander far.

You'll see something you think is cool and rush off, only to be stopped by a small tug pulling you back.

"Can you focus for one second?"

And for the first time he actually looks the part of a parent as he tugs you back towards him.

"Quit running around, pup."

God forbid the leash is detachable and you find out how to get free

"Yes, I need some help. My idiot got loose and I can't find them."

"Sir this is a Mcdonalds."

The one thing he made sure to tell Gon atop the Great tree, was to make sure he found somebody who always kept him on his toes.

"Why?"

"Life is better when the person you're with makes it interesting." Completely unaware you were only a few branches down listening.

Panics when you leave for hunter business because of that one time.

"Pick up your phone, idiot!!!! Damnit! How many times have I told you not to go by yourself!"

Waits for you like an upset parent that just caught their kid sneaking back in

Arms crossed, sitting on your sofa style

Waiting impatiently as you bump into the vase by the door after breaking the lock to get in.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

And you stare up at him with puppy eyes holding out a small box.

"I got you a souvenir." 🥺

And it's most likely broken but he appreciates it anyways.

All great hunters are liked by animals.

You get adopted by nearly all the apex predators you come across

And Ging is distressed because 'That is a fucking lion, Y/n. You can't just cuddle it.'

He tries to take you away from it, only for whatever creature had you hostage to growl at him.

Then it continues licking you and eventually whines when you get up to follow a very perplexed Ging.

(He secretly thinks it's cool)

Ging knows you're stupid, but that you're not an idiot

He knows you get lost on missions frequently and for the life of you can't not break something for five seconds.

But he also knows that you can tell when people are lying and being disingenuous

You hate Pariston for a reason

That and he lied to you once about something which resulted in you refusing to talk to him for weeks

He totally didn't care

Totally didn't try to send you a message only to see you'd blocked his number (how you accomplished that, he'd never know)

Totally didn't ask Kite to check up on you and make sure you hadn't died or something

What him? Never

And he also totally didn't swing by your apartment to leave a box of your favorite snacks on your doorstep

Couldn't be him 🙄🙄🙄

Yeah, he never tried to lie to you after that.

He refuses to baby you, but if someone makes fun of you for not being able to do something, he's kicking their ass

Makes you teach Gon some of your nen tricks

Just because he knows you're capable enough to do so

You're not a two star hunter for nothing.

Plus it means you two get to bond. Which is something he'd deny to his grave

Him, wanting his partner and son to be close???

You're delusional, he doesn't care 🙄🙄🙄

Yes he does and what he lied to you about was having a kid in the first place.

He just knew you'd spill the secret on his whereabouts is all

Gon thinks you are the coolest person he's met so far.

Alluka, who can grant wishes? She's cool

You, who took him fishing and caught an alligator by wrestling it????

You're his idol 🤩🤩🤩

And Ging is so damn proud because the next day his son brought home this huge sea monster he caught with your help.

"Why wouldn't I settle for a capable partner," is the biggest compliment he'll give.

He is a man child who fights for your attention with anybody. Not even poor little Gon is safe 😞

The barista's hand brushed against yours while handing you a drink?

Ging is dragging you out by your hand, glaring behind at the confused worker.

You're catching up with an old friend?

Okay, but they're clearly not that interesting if you ditched them for him. So quit wasting time and follow him to this cool thing he just found.

Gon wants you to teach him and his friend a new ability?

It's a family event now

Physically cannot say he loves you

He's just not used to it

And he can't even hint to it through romantic gestures because you don't understand subtlety

But, he's more physical with you than with most people

You get to jostle him around in your excitement and pull him everywhere you go

Doesn't mean he won't complain about it

He just won't push you off

"That's enough, pup. You'll make me dizzy."

"But I haven't seen you in a while, don't be all mean."

And he regrettably lets you keep your arms tight around him

You can't read maps and he's so surprised you accomplish anything that requires travel

Showers

He showers with you or he doesn't at all

He just wants to make sure you don't fall in there okay. 🙄You already trip on dry land, so imagine the wet tile.

It's because he likes the way you're so gentle when you wash his scalp. And because you always have the best scented soaps.

Kissed you one time and collapsed from embarrassment

Like a real kiss, not the little forehead ones he gives when you've been good.

Red in the face and unable to look at you properly

All because he said he stole your favorite sweet and taunted you for it.

You'd tackled him down and kissed him, swiping your tongue on his lips.

And he was 😳😳😳

And when you pulled away with a triumphant smile on your face, he actually did faint.

You were so confused because he didn't taste like your candy??? Did he lie to you again???

Gets flustered if Gon asks him when he's gonna marry you.

Like c'mon kid, don't say things like that!!! They're literally right there!

(Doesn't want to marry you because he couldn't take it if you decided you couldn't stand him after all. But he also really does because you keep his life interesting)

"I want what I can't have."

Didn't know he wanted an idiot until trying and failing so many times to get you to see he actually does care

MASTERLIST

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Here we go: a selkie reader making a deal with Azul and using his seal coat as collateral. Bonus if Azul has to do research on selkies once homeboy leaves.

Azul: "Jade I need you to run to the library and get everything you can find on Selkies!"

Have full creative freedom! (I just love selkies and it makes me sad when people try to ignore the whole coat gimmick that's super important to them!) NSFW or SFW go nuts!

Yuu is Killed

Yuu has hair mentioned and is a selkie. They’re a ray of dumb sunshine like Kalim to make this hurt more The first year squad are all homies before ch 3

“You won't get away with this Azul! I swear to the seven!” Ace snarls at Azul as he is forcibly escorted out of the headmage's office by Deuce who is shaking in silent rage. “Watch yer back!” Epel shouts, face red and flustered as Crowley forcefully pushes him out of the room followed by an enraged Sebek.

“Curse you Azul! It's all your fault!” The fae shouts as he's escorted out by Jack, cradling a crying Ortho, in shock over the news. Jack shot the trio a wordless glare as he rushed out with Ortho in one arm and Sebek's hand in his own as the man shakes in pure hatred. Azul shook as well, but this time, in fear and grief.

“Azul. You are very lucky that that student had no home or family to speak of. Because of this, and also because it has nothing to do with the blackmail you have on me, I will allow all three of you to continue your education here. Under one condition.” Crowley paused, for once in his life being serious. “ You get rid of the anemones once and for all. That is what started this.” 

“Y-yes, sensei… I understand…” Azul trailed off in a daze. Nothing felt real at all. He… He didn’t mean it! He truly didn’t! Yuu had to be alive! he couldn't imagine it any other way! H-he was just talking to them yesterday! They couldn’t be dead! His little ‘gang’ was just that: A few young adults causing some mischief! Nothing more! It wasn’t ever supposed to go as far as it did. Never as far as this! 

The tear-stained and solemn look on the usually cheerful Floyd’s face cemented reality. Jade’s genuine frown and glossy eyes showed that even he was shaken up. Yuu was dead. And it was all. Their. Fault. Crowley dismissed them hastily, and the group took their leave.

Azul was going to rip up every single one of the contracts to get rid of the guilt as he mulls over what happened. He remembers their conversation just the other day as well. Such a bright, young student. Gone.

***

“Ah, evening there Yuu…”

“Hmm?” The prefect tilted their head as they turned around to face the trio where they stood in the hallway. Floyd to the left and Jade to right with Azul standing in the center. An obvious attempt at intimidation that went over the ‘magicless’ students head as they brush down the oversized fur coat they wear. 

“Oh, it’s you three!” Yuu says cheerfully, pulling out a thermos from their bag, before turning their full attention to Azul. And yet, at the time he only smirked at them, seeing them as nothing more than easy prey. What a fool he was to not recognize the gem of a person that stood in front of him. Jade and Floyd stole a few glances at each other.

“As you are aware, finals are tomorrow.” Yuu nodded. “Yup I’m quite nervous since I’m not from this realm, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. Oh! And you all as well!” Oh, what a bright smile they had…

“What if I can guarantee you a good score, Yuu? In fact—“ “Oh sorry! I can't study with you guys.” Floyd snorted. “Huh?” Yuu frowned slightly. “I'm much too busy with my study session with Deuce, and then there’s Grim, so yeah, sorry.” How hardworking they were…

Azul was taken aback for a moment before clearing his throat before the other two could interject. “No you misunderstand, I was going to make a deal with you and offer you a study guide.” “For the test?” Yuu asked just to be interrupted by Floyd with a ‘duh.’

Yuu just chuckles. “Seems the rumors are true. You’re a hard worker Azul.” Azuls expression turned to disbelief before he preened himself, “That I am.” “However, I am afraid I cannot accept this study guide. You have put a lot of work into it, I cannot imagine using it without having earned it. ‘Sides I do better studying on my own.” Yuu put their hands in their large, oversized coat pockets, messy hair adding to their charm of them. If it was real fur, Azul notes, it must have been really expensive.

“No, no, you will pay me back in time-“ “Sorry Azul, I don't have much money since this world has different currency.” Jade and Floyd were now snickering at Azul’s failed attempts to hook this student into a contract. “Plus I would forget to go over it. Anyways…” Yuu said, shaking their thermos in their hand before pulling something out from their bag., “Want some hot cocoa? I would have offered coffee, but the juniors were just lining up for it since it's the night before exams, I guess they’re gonna cram tonight.”

“Oh! Oh!” I want some!” Floyd shouted. “You’re… giving out hot cocoa?” Jade asked, amusedly. Yuu just nodded. “Made some cocoa and some coffee for my class but still have a lot of cocoa leftover. Want a cup?” “Sure.” Jade replied. “And you Azul?” 

Azul crossed his arms, “No thank you.” Yuu nodded and pulled out a few containers, looking closely, Azul can see that the cups were made of plants— leaves to be specfic. As Yuu poured out some cocoa into the strange containers, Azul interrogated them. “You’re giving out free drinks?” “Of course?” “Youre not charging for it all?” “Nope!” Yuus sincere smile made him sick, “I know not everyone can afford it and I made a lot anyways, so I'm giving it away.”

Yuu handed over the first cup to Floyd who squealed before taking a sip. “Those cups…” “I made them out of a type of non-toxic leaf that doesn't affect the flavor at all!” Yuu poured another glass for Jade who nodded and took it from them politely.”I’m so used to seeing plastic on the ocean floor, I was sick of it, so I made a few biodegradable alternatives… The ocean is my love after all, it hurts to see it polluted.” They frown.

Before Azul could even ask, Yuu cut him off for the final time that night. “In any case, get some rest tonight you three. Your mind needs to rest if you want to do your best, after all! Especially you Azul.” “Me?” Azul asked, as Yuu leaned in close to his face. “Yup! You work too hard sometimes, you know? We all see it…” 

They tucked a strand of hair behind his ear before letting go.“anyways… Bye guys!” Yuu waved, walking off into the hallway, leaving Azul confused as ever…

***

Then came the day. The day before it all went to shit. The last day he would see Yuus bright face. A bright, hopeful face so full of love and knowledge. A true sweetheart much like Kalim. 

As expected of Azul’s plan, Crowley sent Yuu after him with his most recent exploits. Now it was up to Yuu to stop his plan, unaware how they fell right into his trap. A simple deal was all it was supposed to be, Yet Yuu was determined as ever to barter. Azul always admired their fiery attitude.

“I agree to your terms on one condition!” He smirked so cruelly at them, who didn't deserve it. “Oh?” “I will give you my pelt instead, and you are only allowed to take my dorm after three days if I fail! Got it?” “And remind me, why would I want your pelt?” Yuu just tilted their head at him.

“Because it has all my magic in it…” Yuu stated. “I am a selkie. Our power is in our pelts! Without it, well, it's just important to us.” Yuu trailed off, taking off their fluffy coat, shaking the whole way, yet brave as ever they held it out to him. “Do we have a deal?” They ask.

***

Selkie pelts… selkie pelts… It only took a few quick searches on his phone to understand the significance of them. Without their pelt, a selkie is never allowed in the sea again. Oh this was rich. Utterly perfect. 

They would not be able to even go anywhere near the ocean to fill out their part of the deal! Azul wore a wicked smirk as he gave the order to the twins. He was winning this contract easily.

 “Jade, Floyd? Go keep an eye on Yuu. You know the drill…”

The two eels gave a slimy smile. “Yes boss…”

***

Azul was none the wiser of what was happening underwater. As far as he was concerned, it was an easy win. He wasn't aware of the fight Yuu had to put up the second they stepped into the coral sea. As they waded through the ocean depths with their friends. 

The sea was suffocating even with the potion, as the waves and riptides tried to tear Yuu to shreds for even entering the water they were now exiled from without their pelt. All they had to do was to hang on a bit longer… Push a little harder. WIth their friends by their side that would be no problem. Jack and Ace helped to support the, as Deuce made sure their breathing was normal.

All they had to do was hang in a little longer and grab that photo. From there all will be well and they can head back and get their pelt again! It was going well until a certain pair of eels came around.

With a blast of magic, the eels stopped the group where they stood, with the only way to continue being to fight. They ruined everything. As the battle dragged out, the ocean’s water became even more suffocating to Yuu as they fought to even stand without keeling over in pain, the water practically crushing them.

With a final blow from the wand, Floyd sent out a weak water spell… that ricocheted off of Jacks spell and aimed directly at Yuu. At most all the spell could do was knock them out, however Yuu was a selkie in forbidden territory. Water was deadly to them. The instant the spell made contact with their skin, they crumpled. 

For a minute they held their throat in pain, crying out. Air bubbles escaped their throat. Were they drowning? “Yuu!” Ace shrieked rushing to them, battle forgotten. The eels tensed up before diving down to check on Yuu. Despite their fight, they didn't want to truly hurt anyone.

Yuu’s tears merged with the ocean around them. As Jade went to grab them to take them up to the surface it was too late. The second Jade went to touch Yuu they dissolved right in his hands. All that remained was sea foam.

Yuu was gone. Forever. And it would haunt the trio for the rest of their lives. They killed someone. A genuine and kind someone. Someone who made the world a better place, now snuffed out, forever. And they would have to live with the guilt and the looks of absolute hatred from Jack and the rest of their friends, forever.

As seafoam washed against the island shore. They hoped that could see Yuu once more.

[luveline]

maybe this is too cliche but for the zombie au, what if reader is running low on meds and steve goes out to find her some, because he’s dumb and reckless and doesn’t want her to panic?

baby I love cliche! thanks so much for your request, this is a great idea. i decided to make it so that the meds r needs are not critical but make a big difference to well-being, hope that's OK! ♡ zombie!au | fem!reader

Steve knows he's making a mistake. He's just too bone-headed to turn around and go home. Home as a funny word, home as nowhere permanent, home as wherever you are. He should turn around and march straight back to your side where you're sleeping in a derelict but otherwise secure condo just outside of the Michigan border. He should not be out alone.

He and you have been walking for weeks. It's miserable and exhausting and Steve knows you're not telling him how tired you are. Of course you're tired, as he is, as he imagines every survivor out there is tired of this life.

He scoffs and steps over another smashed bottle. He's not sure you can call this existence a life, anymore. The irony isn't lost on him.

He trudges through the wreckage of a pharmacy about thirty minutes from the condo. Remarkably close. Steve had searched every rest stop along the road you'd followed to get here for usable maps, half too old and simplistic to make proper sense of, the others destroyed by mould or wet or blood. When he'd finally found one yesterday morning — inside the miracle condo, his first stroke of luck in months — he'd immediately searched for a pharmacy. Upon locating it, his plan was born.

Wait for you to fall asleep. Secure the condo. Find your medication.

To leave you asleep and vulnerable isn't the sort of thing he ever wants to do, but he'd weighed his options heavily. Bring you with him, tired and sick and especially open to attack, or leave you behind.

He can't decide if it was the right thing to do even now. He thinks of a geek scratching you in your sleep and has to take pause.

"Fuck," he mutters, wiping his eyes. They start to sting, sweat and dirt rubbed into his bottom lashes.

There's no time to waste. The quicker he can find your meds the quicker he can get back to you.

The pharmacy is pretty badly ruined. He doesn't know where to start or where to look. There's obvious signs of multiple struggles, most anything worth having has been looted.

Steve picks his way towards the appropriate section. He makes no sound that he can't help, practiced now in silent footfall, in holding his arms at a certain height to stop the chafing of his jacket. He tries very hard to remember the exact name that he'd seen on the bottle in your bag, the brand, the specification.

He's stricken when he can't immediately find it. He's put you both in danger for nothing.

A sound echoes from the front of the room.

Steve is immediately on pins, sliding the baseball bat where it hangs from the strap of his rucksack into his hand. Its weight is both familiar and disconcerting.

He holds his breath. The barest hints of daylight stream into the room, the water of a river broken by a thousand rocks. Steve looks between each ray of light and finds only dust, dust, and more dust, motes like pinprick stars drifting between them.

The zombie appears as a dark silhouette.

Steve takes an impulsive, unfortunate step backwards and his bag scrapes the shelving unit. Pill bottles rattle, a minute sound that may as well scream his location in the quiet.

Fuck, he thinks.

There's no telling what kind of zombie you'll be met with. Some are faster, some are smarter, some can smell you from very far away. Like the people they once were, each geek possesses their own strengths and weaknesses.

In life, this one seems to have been an imbecile. Its gory mess of a face looks toward him, looks straight at Steve and his hammering heart, and then looks the other way. He drifts from the room like a grey, disgusting apparition, and Steve's left alone in the room

Somebody grabs him from behind.

Steve shrieks and forces the entirety of his weight down to the floor. It's the first trick you'd taught him, that to be grabbed by the hair is hardly easily escapable, and that your best chance of surviving is to let yourself fall swiftly and fiercely into the force of it. It goes against everything the body desires to do, to move toward the thing grabbing you rather than away, but it always works.

His scalp tingles with shattering pain. His spine aches from the sudden collapse. Above him, a geek turns his dripping maw down to look at him, bloody saliva pooling at the chin. Freshly dead.

Steve scrambles away gracelessly, a half turn, on hands and then up, he stands and brings the baseball bat to his chest. He should run. If he fights this thing the sound might be enough to draw the second, and a second would probably kill him.

But Steve's just spotted your medication.

"Fucker," he says, and snaps the full force of his strength across the zombie's face. Metal bruises its way through flesh like a baton into pear flesh. A depression gets left behind. Steve from before the apocalypse would've gagged.

Steve now takes a second swing.

-

You're crying with both hands pressed to your face when the door downstairs opens. You immediately choke on your tears, half terror and half hope.

It could be Steve, you think. It could be him. Maybe he didn't leave after all, maybe he just went for a walk, maybe he just-

Of course he left. He was always going to leave. You can't hold him to his promises, because why would he stay? To always look after you? And you've been so tired, so unwell, you've caught him looking at you with this awful unhappy look like he can tell how much of a burden you're going to become.

If it isn't Steve, it's someone else. If it's someone else, you're in danger.

You press your hand over your mouth and try not to breathe. All your things are in the bedroom. If they come in here they'll see what's left. They'll know someone was here, but maybe you'll get lucky. They'll take your stuff and never think to look under the bed. You'll survive.

And then you'll die of starvation.

But if you can drag your things under the bed with you they won't know you're here at all.

You crawl across the floor and breathe hard through your nose, a sluggish tear falling over the slope of your cheek as you go. It falls into the rug, lost forever, and you climb over it. You loop your hand around the strap of your backpack and tug it backward with you, suppressing a sob as footsteps sound up the stairs.

Hidden again, you wait. You hold your breath until your throat burns.

The door creaks open.

"Y/N?" Steve asks. He talks as he always does, quiet and steady. "Are you in here?"

You loose the breath you'd held like a barb. The sound is pathetic, like a crying little kid.

"Y/N?"

You push your bag away from you and crawl out from under the bed, wiping desperately at your tearstained cheeks.

"I thought you were somebody else," you explain quickly, standing on wobbly legs.

You check him over and then avert your gaze, not wanting to look him in the eye, only he's covered in blood. You do a double take.

"What happened?" you both demand, staring at one another in shock.

You press your lips together and wait for Steve to explain first.

He drops the backpack off of his shoulder and unzips it. "I went to the pharmacy. Had to fight a geek for it, but I have something for you."

"What..."

Steve holds out a bottle of your medication.

His hands are white with cold and ice to the touch as you take it. Your ear is ringing.

"Why would you go by yourself?" you ask, numb.

"I don't know if you've noticed, babe, but you're not really up for expedition right now."

You laugh wetly and fight against another oncoming wave with your dirtied shit sleeves. "I'm not that bad."

"No, you are. And that's fine. But hopefully these'll help."

You stare at him, his dirty hair and unshaven face, the blood dried over his jacket and the similar splatters under his jaw. It looks as though he'd tried to wipe away whatever was on his face, iron streaks dissapearing into the shorter hairs of his sideburns.

You're not sure if you're too emotional to see the truth or if you're delusional with sickness or both, but you're almost a hundred percent sure that Steve initiates the hug, and not you.

His arms go over your shoulders. It's a slow, sweet thing, hesitant in his hand placement and the pressing of his cheek to the top of his head. You're not nearly so tentative, desperate for reassurance as you wrap your own arms around his back. The cold clings to him. You rub your open hand uselessly against it, trying to pour every bit of warmth you have into the gesture. Your other hand clutches the pill bottle so hard your knuckles ache.

"Sorry for scaring you," he says, "I would've used the signal, but I thought you'd still be asleep."

You're embarrassed. You want him to forget all about it as fast as possible.

Regrettably, with you and Steve, it seems as though every interaction is its own chapter of an increasingly long book. There's nothing else out there. The desolation and loneliness of your lives has made it so that each interaction is felt in excruciating detail.

Though sometimes that's nice.

His hug seems to go on forever. His arm tightens around your shoulder and his hand encircles your upper arm while the other bunches up the fabric of your hoodie.

"Are you okay?" you ask.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're like a Jackson Pollock of gore, Steve."

"What's a Jackson Pollock?"

You rest your cheek against his shoulder and stare at his neck, all his little hairs and pores and skin. "He was a painter. He did, um... splatters. He was quite famous."

To your surprise, Steve still doesn't let you go. He hugs you and hugs you and it's not like he's never hugged you before, he has, usually in similar times of high emotions. But still. He's not exactly tactile. Not with you.

"You shouldn't have- You shouldn't have risked-" You clear your throat. It's a struggle to say it aloud without insinuating a second meaning. "Thank you," you say instead. "I don't know how I'lll..." make it up to you. Make it out of this without you.

"Would you look at the back of my head?" he asks abruptly.

"What?"

"I fell. Think I might've cut myself. Or gave myself a killer concussion, at least."

"Oh no," you murmur, genuinely sympathetic.

Steve and you set down on the bed. He lets you card through his hair, careful, delicate, and search for his injury, a patch of irritated skin and a small lump. You fawn over him and rub a little antiseptic into the wound. Only afterwards when you're laying down to sleep beside him with the door barricaded do you realise what he's done — Steve doesn't care about small bumps or scrapes, he'd let you look after him because he'd known it would make you feel better.

When you're sure he's sleeping, you bracelet his wrist with your fingers. His pulse capers under your touch.

-

more steve zombie au

[yuri-is-online]

Damn I'm really like the storyline of this game.But FUCK Leo,if I ever get a chance to smacked the shit out of him, please Chancellor one chance.He fucked with the Mc head, how Alan and Thoma didn't kick him out that car if beyond me, there better than me honestly.Sho isn't much better because he's going along just because he's isn't mean.

Just because there isn't cruelty that doesn't mean kindness.But he's the lesser evil.Makes me sad for Alan.

Let's talk about Lucas I wonder if the soul system is like JJK,like if your twins you share the same soul and that's why the demon took his brother.

Also which character did you pick for your first

-🤡

I picked Thoma first, but I didn't take screenshots of the opening. Probably gonna use my emulator to take a crack at screencapping all of the boys intros because I am insane and want to pick it apart for lore research.

Twins sharing the same soul/being seen as the same person is very common in Japanese folklore if I understand correctly? But that might just be me overthinking the plot of Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly. So yes that's my assumption too, the demon likely took Luca's brother in his place since they technically share a soul.

Now. Let's talk about Leo. The main reason Alan and Thoma didn't immediately kick him out of the car was to not make a scene. Thoma specifically seems to respect the opportunistic sort, and thinks that Leo shows promise if he shapes up. He's skilled with tech, good at reading people, quick on his feet, all of those things are arguably good traits that Vagastrom, and Alan, could really use! Besides it's not like he has enough on either of them to get in their way yet, best to play it cool and walk away with the upper hand. Another thing we learn from this conversation that might be easy to miss is that unlike Twisted Wonderland where each dorm has rules about who should be the leader, Darwick's Administration picks the Captain and Vice Captain of the dorm, and grades seem to be more important to them than say. Whether or not the person has a good character, as we have seen from both Thoma and Leo, is significantly less important.

But if there is one thing I sort of have to point out that I think Alan gets and tries to call him out on, Leo is incredibly short sighted. He sees MC's power as worthless not because it doesn't work but because he already used it and got what he wants from it. He doesn't see anyone other than himself, and maybe Sho, as a person so he doesn't feel any guilt about using MC to get what he wants and then trying to get her kicked out of the school. He's also the only bitch in this house that completely ignores that MC can't leave, he doesn't mention her curse once when talking about her and honestly I don't think he was paying attention enough to remember that she can't leave because of that. Allan makes a point at the end of the Vagastrom book that I really hope is followed up on:

I sort of read this as applying to his friendship with Sho and his own reputation. Sure, it's all fun and games now while he snatches up the Vice Captain role and still has Sho doing his bidding, but well. Sho does occasionally do what he wants, he didn't go along with Leo's plan, not completely. He didn't outright lie about MC's power, and he hates how Leo keeps asking about why the ghouls made their wish on a demon. He thinks it's wrong, he hates it. Leo's treatment of MC did bother him, and I know he doesn't want MC to die. I don't know how far you or anyone else has made it, but something happens in Book 3 that makes it seem like MC has gone missing, and according to Hyde all of the Frostheim, "and one or two" of the Vagastrom ghouls have to be talked out of going to look for her.

As of right now Leo's only real ally is Sho. If Sho gets fed up with him and stops covering his ass, then Leo has no one, and I don't think that's occurred to him since according to Sho's bio they've been friends since long before Darkwick. Anyway I hope they get divorced and Sho gets to keep his food truck. Like I said, we can run Leo over with it for the insurance money.

Have some Side Notes:

The ring of Solomon, or the ring of wisdom, granted Solomon the power to make demons do his bidding in the original myth. Since ghouls powers come from demons, in some way, shape, or form, my theory is that the ring is likely enhancing the demonic part of them.

The "like doves" supposedly appear when someone is thinking of you positively/likes you. The first people to make these doves appear around MC are Luka and Kaito. The second is Sho, which is honestly why I am a bit softer on him then I should be. The third time it shows up is at the end of Jabberwock's book with all three dorm members present, meaning literally the only bitch in this house who does not respect MC is fucking Leo that dick-

while it isn't specified, Professor Dante appears to be the advisor for both Frostheim and Vagastrom, something I think is more or less confirmed by Hyde being in charge of both Jabberwock and Sinostra. Anyway the point I want to make is that we are missing a dorm if we follow the rule of each advisor being in charge of two, and no I don't mean the two missing characters from Obscuary I mean a whole dorm that seems to have specialized in exorcisms (perhaps of curses 👀):

My personal theory is that their dorm used to be in the Cathedral we are staying in and that it was destroyed during "the Clash" that's been alluded to in the first part of the story, we don't know much about it other than 1) it was between ghouls, perhaps exclusively 2) there is a spy of some sort Thoma and Alan are looking for that might have had something to do with it and 3) a Frostheim student behaved very badly during the Clash to the point Thoma seems to think they should take some responsibility for it. But that's just my speculation, don't know how much of it's real.

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

If you could rewrite the paw patrol movie and give more characters screen time and make it as in where Chase doesn't fully get over his fears how would you all do it

Despite being a great movie YOU GET IT, YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP WITH THAT MOVIE, THANKS FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY, I love writing stuff so I just hope it'll be to your liking too XD

Under the cut for more than obvious reasons- very VEEEERY LONG post ahead. Don't say I didn't warn you. Let's GO.

There's not many things I'd change by the beginning of the movie to be honest. Even the short talk Ryder had with Chase to convince him to go with them to Adventure City was okay enough for me. Plus it shows just how much Chase puts his trust in Ryder, above his fears and trauma, which is a VERY IMPORTANT POINT later down the road. Also, we did get to see Chase was uncomfortable upon arrival, which is important as well. Slowly, it gave way to curiosity and wonder, thanks to seeing their new headquarters. I would ignore my fears too if it meant I'd get to go into such a cool place and be allowed to call it my home far from home.

The things I would possibly change... Maybe Mayor Humdinger. There was something REALLY OFF about him in this movie. I mean, it's not THAT MUCH DIFFERENT from the show, but I feel he went a bit crazier than usual on his ideas. I can't put my finger on it... He seemed more like a bad guy for the sake of being evil, and not like someone who came from a sad town and just wishes for recognition and praise.

Now there are four main points about the pups I'd probably have worked a bit differently: Chase, Marshall, Zuma and Skye.

First, let's go about Chase.

I agree his panic attacks were greatly addressed and handled. There was no exaggeration, there was no "let's make it seem way bigger/impressive than it is" kind of thing. Some shows or movies, when going about a character panicking, like to make it look SO DEEP, with so many thoughts crossing their mind, and so many scenarios, and things looking more threatening or bigger and-- most times it's nowhere near like that at all. That would be more like an anxiety attack, actually. For panic attacks, there's nearly no thoughts at all, we don't process what's happening. It can be a little different for everyone, given we're all not the same people, but I can say by personal experience, when I had panic attacks, I literally BLANKED. All I can remember is my body tensing so hard I was unable to move, so I just cowered in my chair, my eyes were darting everywhere totally unable to focus and both my head and my chest felt like they could explode any second. I stayed like that until I could hear my father talking to me and taking me away from the place where I was, taking me back home to my bed. That was almost exactly how they made it in the movie: Chase tensed, froze, was unable to act, and then he cowered away, closing his eyes and hyperventilating until he heard Skye talking to him and then she took him away from that place.

As for his trauma, though... At the beginning, yes. It was nicely addressed too. From all we've seen in the show, Chase tends to literally blindly follow through with Ryder's orders, no matter what. That pup has in Ryder not only a leader, but also a best friend he would go through hell and beyond for. He would do ANYTHING for Ryder. And so, he puts his trust in Ryder once more and accepts the fate of being taken with them to Adventure City, despite his own wish of not setting a paw in that place ever again in his life. Because he trusts Ryder more than himself. And when he felt his trust was broken, Chase was devastated. We know that was not the case - while Chase felt like Ryder was benching him because he was unable to act (for being scared/a failure), Ryder was actually benching him because he was worried about Chase's mental health. He KNEW Chase was panicking badly, what Chase had to go through in that very city was traumatic, and Ryder KNEW all that. But Chase thought Ryder didn't trust him, so he ran away.

Everything handled pretty okay up to this point. And then, there's the one thing I'd change about Chase in this movie:

Later down the road, they (probably unintentionally/mostly due to the movie timing) made it look like Chase was able to just overcome his trauma with that city with just some small talks- I'm not saying those talks were NOT important, ON THE CONTRARY, they were VERY WELL DONE AS WELL. The issue is just the simple fact that these kinda things don't go away SO FAST. Of course, we needed him to be able to literally jump into action because the movie needed to end XD But still... He didn't need to do that ALONE either.

What I would change is literally THAT. Chase didn't need to go rescue Ryder ALONE, especially when he KNEW he could end up freezing in panic. He's still in Adventure City, he's still pretty much EVEN MORE TRAUMATIZED. He wanted to prove a point, fine. He wanted to prove that he is able, to prove that he is a hero like everyone believes him to be. He wanted to prove he CAN BE TRUSTED. But he didn't need to do the rescue ALONE to prove that.

Personally, I think the scene when Chase rescues Ryder could/would have gone differently if the other pups would have joined him - for example, we probably wouldn't have that dramatic leap of faith, sure. That works when the character is alone or carrying someone else. Not in a group. But can you imagine if Chase's first thing was to contact the other pups to let them know the tower collapsed with Ryder still inside it? They all would go there and they would work TOGETHER as the team they are, to reach for Ryder, rescue him and successfully bring him back down to ground level, safe and sound. And they would all support Chase as they do so. Chase doesn't need to deal with his trauma alone, he doesn't need to fight his fears alone. He's got his team, his friends, his family with him. In my opinion, they should have worked together to rescue Ryder and the impact of the "you don't need to deal with your fears alone" message would be more special than "overcome your fears on your own".

Now, about Marshall.

I actually liked the fact Marshall was the one taking over whenever Chase was unable to act for one reason or another. It literally makes sense, not because they're close friends/best friends or whatever, it's literally because of their jobs. Cops, firefighters and paramedics (I know he's an EMT, shush, let me generalize the thing here) are the jobs among all the pups' jobs that ARE to deal with crowds, to deal with people more directly during rescues. They're the ones to talk to people, they're the ones to give instructions, ANYWHERE, anytime. They are the authorities there. So, whenever Chase is unavailable, Marshall is the logic choice to take over and I'm glad they did so.

What I would change, would be two small things: I'd give him some time WITH CHASE, and our old fandom beloved main complaint, I'd let his clumsiness show more.

Marshall should have had a talk with Chase at some point- any point at all. The show portrayed these two as best friends in the beginning, they always did things together, be it for work or for play time. Marshall should have been there for Chase too, and I'd do that after that first incident when Marshall had to go put out the fires and make sure Chase wouldn't get burned while he was lowered back to ground level. Y'know when Chase was unable to sleep and went to the main room to look out to the city in the middle of the night? That could have been a good moment for that, maybe right after the song played.

As for Marshall's clumsiness, I don't have much to say. It was badly portrayed, as in he was clumsy in a way that it wasn't HIS clumsy way- any of the other pups could have been put in his place and be just as clumsy. I'd give him at least two scenes where he would "be himself" in a way we'd be like "YEP, that's our Marshall!" I don't have specific ideas right now but I could think of some, given some time.

Surprisingly, I wouldn't change much about Zuma.

When I saw complaints about his lack of screentime in the movie, I honestly thought it would be worse. Like my father commented on my post with his reactions to the movie, to take Zuma - a pup specialized in WATER RESCUES - to a big city, it's SO NOT his "natural habitat". Zuma is literally a fish out of water there. I wasn't expecting him to have any water-related rescue AT ALL, maybe he'd just do a regular ground rescue. To have him go in the sewer/river canal to rescue that car was legit a pleasing surprise for me.

But then, why is he in this post, Lary?

Simple: All of Zuma's moments of "important" screentime in this movie only happened because Liberty was there with him. I feel like he was the one riding on her for screentime, rather than the other way around, which is kinda disturbing as he IS one of the main six and she's a literal newbie there.

Pulling her little cart;

Later when they were being deployed, Liberty was there watching as they all launched and was the most excited to see Zuma's hovercraft being deployed (ngl I'd be as excited as her, seeing a hovercraft up close like that IS AN EXPERIENCE);

And then, they worked together to rescue the family from the car which fell in the water. This last one is important: Zuma wouldn't have been as successful with this rescue if he didn't have someone else to sail his raft down the stream following his sub. And who was it? Liberty. Even with the convenience, they paired those two so both could have screentime at all.

So I'd find another way to give Zuma screentime without relying it on pairing him with Liberty at least once. I'd probably make it happen for the group rescue on Ryder. He could have some moment there, as well as all the others.

And last but not least, there's something about Skye that bothered me a bit.

It's not about her character or anything like that- she was alright for the entire movie, really. The one thing that bothered me wasn't her, but something that happened WITH/BECAUSE OF her. Namely, the clouds dispersing instantly after she dive-bombed the shit out of that cloud-sucker machine.

I'm sorry but they spent the whole movie building up the tension of that machine getting too stuffed with clouds, the density going nuts, and then the machine releases the clouds creating a huge storm... Only for all of them to magically DISAPPEAR once the machine is no more? They were already OUTSIDE of the machine. Maybe the storm itself would stop, nice, but that thing was literally a high pressure pan ready to explode and Skye did just that. She exploded the high pressure pan. It should've released ALL THE CLOUDS, maybe the air displacement would PUSH THEM all over and beyond the city, and only then the winds would take them away, but that wouldn't happen instantly. For fucks sake Skye literally exploded a ticking high pressure bomb LMAO let it have SOME effects! Give us some sky spectacle of clouds going all over, being pushed away and only then slowly opening up the sky once more.

So, yeah, these are the things I'd change in the first Paw Patrol movie. Nothing too drastic really, just small but important details, the only BIG change would be how Chase got to deal with his trauma in the end.

Whether he and/or Ryder like it or not, that city will ALWAYS bring Chase the memories of the worst times of his life - being abandoned as a baby, all alone, later also the memories of his panic attacks and the memories of the panic he must've felt once he saw the tower collapsing knowing Ryder was still in there - even if it ALSO brings now the memories of the best thing that ever happened to him: Being found and rescued by Ryder. We could've added now the good memory of Chase finding out he's not alone with his fears, finding out he doesn't have to suffer alone, finding out his family will always back him up no matter what, just like Ryder said, that's why they're a team, to support and back each others up in their times of need.

I swear it took me A WHOLE DAY typing this (in between teaching classes). You guys love to make me work my brain out, huh? Hope you'll like it, these are my points of view in this whole thing, my PERSONAL ideas. If you have different ideas, NICE! If you agree with mine, NICE TOO! Everyone thinks differently and let's go XD I need some food now, need to go make my dinner after teaching this night's class, see ya XD

[insipid-drivel]

Ahoi, horse question -

I knew most facts on your list but it’s a fun read, thanks for that.

I also knew that horses can overeat themselves to death but I always wondered:

What’s different with wild horses, how do they regulate themselves? And didn’t they occasionally eat bad plants and mushrooms, too, that poisoned them?

Wild horses can and do poison themselves by eating toxic plants, it's just that herds of wild horses are remarkably rare to see EVER, so the whole "toxic plants in reach of horses" discourse is almost entirely limited to domestic settings. Tansy, especially, is a poisonous herb that can appear to blend into other safe grasses and herbs a horse may eat, and the horse will eventually die of colic (intestinal spasms that cause the horse's GI tract to literally tie itself in knots, cut off bloodflow, and result in an agonizing death; it's one of the most common causes of premature death in horses). That's why responsible owners pay out the nose to have their paddocks ID'd and and cleared of any toxic plants the horse may accidentally graze on. Most experienced horse/ranch owners practically qualify for an honorary botany degree, because the best owners learn how to identify most - if not all - of the toxic plants their horses may encounter in their area, and keep their horses far away from them until/unless the plants can be removed.

With many wild horses you may see in photos, those are the ones that made it to adulthood. Horses are prey animals, and so wild horses you see in film or pictures - even babies - may not have survived to the publication of the picture you're looking at. As prey animals, only the strong and lucky survive to old age without human intervention on some level to improve their mortality rates. Foals are just as vulnerable to predation as baby deer, and usually can't survive if they're injured or sick in any way that keeps them from keeping up with their herd. The herd usually follows the dominant mating stallion, who typically decides when it's time for the herd to move (unless the mares decide he's not worth listening to, which happens sometimes). There aren't really that many places in the world where you'll see truly wild horses, so most people don't think of them as prey animals that are as vulnerable to environmental dangers as any other prey animal.

It's well to remember, too, that pretty much all true-blue, wild horses today are the descendants of domestic horses to some degree. In the American West, wild herds of Mustangs were captured by the US Army and westward-bound settlers in the 18th and 19th centuries so voraciously that wild mustang populations pretty much went entirely extinct (Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron is very much taking place during the final years Spirit will ever know freedom as a wild animal. A few years later, the horses will end up broken and domesticated by soldiers if they aren't tamed and separated by other humans, and there will be no more mustang herds to see on the western frontiers for well over a century).

All horses are thought to descend from the OG horse, the Przewalski's Horse, aka Those Cave-Painting Horses:

The very first true horses to ever appear were initially native to what is now steppes and grasslands in Mongolia and Russia - so basically Central Asia. It's theorized that, thousands of years ago, these horses gradually migrated into North America via the Bering Land Bridge that once joined North America to what is now Russia, and evolved and were domesticated into now what we recognize as the American Mustang:

American Mustangs don't bear a very clear resemblance to their Przewalski ancestors due to thousands of years of domestication, separation from their original species, and selective breeding practices by humans.

Both the Przewalksi's Horse and American Mustangs have recently been on the rise thanks largely to conservation methods when it comes to wild populations of them. The Przewalski's Horse was so rare that it was functionally extinct in the wild in the 1960s, with the only significant populations of surviving horses being kept in zoos and wildlife conservatories. Now, the horses have made such a big comeback that some of the first wild herds have been released back into their home environment in Central Asia.

The main difference is in how the horses are treated by their human protectors, or if they have humans looking after them at all. Domestic horses that are raised privately and kept essentially as very expensive pets spend their entire lives having humans providing them with most, if not all, of their required resources and care, so they don't typically get the same experience with food that they would in the wild. Herds of wild horses can have roaming territories of hundreds, if not thousands, of hectares and be comprised of a dozen or more individual horses, while most domestic "pet" horses are usually limited to much tighter pastures that only span a couple of acres, maybe in the double or triple digits if there's money-money involved, but the horses still largely have their dietary needs and daily routines decided for them by their owners - not natural instinct and rearing by other horses.

A horse really can't get everything it needs nutritionally or behaviorally in a paddock-and-stable setup without humans to feed and look after them, because they don't have a huge range of places they were evolved to travel between to sustain their health; horses, like other ungulates, need vital minerals like those found in natural salt deposits to maintain their health, and the soil in your horse's paddock may be so nutritionally deprived that the grass your horse grazes on doesn't actually contain enough nutrition for the horse to survive without supplementation to their food. They also need more than grass to be nutritionally stable; horses will seek out and eat fruits, veggies, grains, herbs, and especially love molasses and other forms of sugar for their sky-high amounts of carbohydrates (and because they taste good). But they don't know how to properly regulate what they eat when presented with an unlimited supply without a human to handle the portion control side of things, so it's easy for them to overeat to the point that it kills them.

Wild horses are born and raised feeding and taking care of themselves and each other in highly maternal, matriarchal communities (mostly females of reproductive age and their babies with only one or two adult breeding males; the stallions are usually the ones that lead the herd, but the mares really have the final say). Aside from eating something they didn't know was toxic, wild horses learn from their peers and elders when it comes to where they can find the best food and when, and rely heavily upon their understanding of their territory/range when it comes to knowing where and what they should eat to stay healthy. They also have to share resources with other horses in their herd, and don't get access to huge 200lb barrels of oats or 150lb bales of pure feeding hay, so they usually don't find opportunities like domestic horses do to find Enormous Stores Of Unprotected Food and make themselves sick.

Horses have a muscle at the top of their stomachs referred to as a French Tie. It literally makes it physically impossible for a horse to throw up, even if they've eaten something bad or overeaten and would stand a better chance at surviving if they could spit up what they ate. Being grazing animals with long necks, they can't have the internal structure to throw up with, because otherwise they would never be able to get their food or water from their mouths to their stomachs. Gravity would prevent them from being able to eat without constantly raising their heads up to gulp down food like an alligator with a chicken drumstick (seriously, try taking a drink of water while you're dangling upside down; that's why NOT being able to regurgitate is more valuable for horses), which is not what grass-eating animals want to do: grass and plant life is very hard to digest efficiently, horses only have one stomach compared to other ungulates like cows, and horses and similar grazing animals spend so much time chewing on their food in order to make it easier to digest and draw nutrition from that it generally makes their food intake pretty steady for their digestive systems to cope with.

Domestic horses that live their lives in paddocks and barns know where things like the grain store/feed room are, and don't really understand why we stingy humans will only give them a scoop or two of oats as a treat and not give them as much as they want 24/7. Their instincts almost always are to graze, graze, graze, so what's wrong with going face-down in a barrel full of oats? It's just tasty food!

Except we know that overeating means they can't puke up what they don't need or can't digest the way your dog can if they managed to rip open your 50lb bag of cat food while you were away at work. They don't know better, and there's no way to teach a horse NOT to eat when food is right in front of their noses, so farm-horses essentially have their entire diets managed for them to keep them safe and healthy, while wild horses just don't have access to that sheer quantity of unguarded food to overeat at all under typical circumstances.

[milflewis]

i'd love to hear your thoughts on surfer!mick encountering mermaid!lewis (can you tell i can't stop thinking about that photo)

1. “I’ve been looking for you,” Mick says, and the mermaid looks over his shoulder, spotting him. He doesn’t move from his perch on the rocks so Mick paddles closer.

“Not in a weird way,” Mick quickly follows up with, floundering. “Just — over the years. I’ve kept an eye out. Normally. Casual. Just to see if I saw you again. Yeah.”

He winces. That could’ve come out better.

The end of the mermaid’s tail is draped into the water and the scales Mick can see are a dark purple, shiny and slick like oil in the sun. They run up his stomach, fading strangely into skin at his waist. Mick is too far to see the details of his tattoos.

Normally, Mick knows from school, they can reach up past the middle of the ribs but he must have human in him somewhere for them to be so low.

“You saved my life once.” Mick clears his throat, tightening his fingers around his board. He pulls one leg up under him. His throat is dry.

He loves the sea, always has, even when he is scared of it. Maybe especially then.

He had known better than to go surfing when it was that choppy, with winds that high, even at that age, but he had just gotten that new board and ignored every voice in his head that told him no.

He had been sure he was going to die there, coughing and cold and wet, too dark and swirling to tell where was up or where was down.

“It was a while ago,” Mick says. “You might not remember.”

“You were shorter.” The mermaid’s voice is soft, softer that Mick expected, and his teeth are sharp.

“Well,” Mick shrugs, cheeks heating. “I was thirteen so.”

He remembers how his nails dug into Mick’s shoulders, how he pulled and pulled and pulled until Mick could feel sand on his knees and pushed at his chest until Mick choked, bone sore and shaking. His eyes were very bright in the dark when Mick looked at him. Mick remembered how he looked right back.

He’s looking at Mick right now.

“I remember,” he says, and smiles. He’s very pretty actually. Mick is helpless not to smile back.

“I wanted to say thank you, for that, so, um, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” the mermaid replies and Mick gets the faint feeling he’s laughing at him.

2. “Woah, man, is that, like, fish?”

Lewis pokes at smoked salmon on top of the cracker Mick gave him, face unreadable. The sun is setting behind him and the loose off white beach coverup that Mick stole from Gina’s room is slipping off one shoulder. The whole effect is slightly devastating to Mick’s insides. It might even be giving him indigestion.

He looks at the fish, and then at Lewis’s face, just barely frowning, not quite a grimace, and back at the fish before it clicks. Oh god.

“Oh, god,” he says out loud. “Can you — I didn’t even think to ask, I’m so sorry. Can you even eat fish? I mean, do you eat fish because, you know —“

Lewis pulls a face, mouth pulling up, one eye squinting. He peers sheepishly at Mick. He looks like he might try eating it anyway. This is definitely giving Mick stomach problems. He’s ruined everything.

Lewis gently puts down the cracker, exhaling. It’s almost a sigh. “Fish are friends,” he says, quiet. “Not food.”

Mick closes his eyes. He’s so fucking stupid. He planned this entire thing out — getting the time right with the sunset and the weather and the lack of people on their corner of the beach and — And. And.

“I love Finding Nemo,” he states calmly. Lewis grins at him, all seriousness come from his face. Mick hates him.

“Such a classic, right?”

“You know, Hamilton,” Mick says, butterflies melting away. “You’re a bit of a dickhead, has anyone ever told you that?”

“Nope!” Lewis says, popping a grape into his mouth, eyes crinkling. Mick flicks some crumbs at him with his fingers.

3. Mick goes very still as he lifts a hand, palm first. A raindrop falls in the centre of it, light and warm.

He doesn’t bother saying just one moment to Sebastian, taking three long running steps to shove Lewis off the edge of the pier and into the sea.

When Lewis’s head pops up out of the water, eyelashes dark and curls flat, he’s laughing. The rain isn’t quite a lash but it’s not a drizzle either. It’s water whatever way you spin it.

“Really?” Lewis says, grinning. His pearl necklace matches the ones in his ears. Mick picked up a bracelet that he thinks would look nice with it at one of the stalls at the market in town a few days ago.

There’s a shiver of deep purple shimmering below where Lewis’s legs should be if you squint.

“Yes, really,” Mick replies, shifting so Sebastian can’t see his face. He raises his eyebrows meaningfully. Lewis rolls his eyes.

“Huh.” Sebastian comes up beside him, his sensible sandals quiet on the stone pier. He pauses to lick messily at his ice cream cone. “I thought it is just salt water that activates your tail. Does regular rain water do it too?”

Mick stares at him, and then at Lewis when he says, “Nah, it’s just salt water. Has to be from the sea too. Mickie here is just being overly cautious.”

“Overly cautious?! What if someone saw —“

Mermaids are rare enough and nearly every part of them is worth a lot of money. They’ve been an endangered species as long as Mick can remember.

Sebastian hums, solemn. “So serious, our Mick.”

“So sorry for being concerned,” Mick declares, throwing his hands up in the air because he knows it’ll make Lewis laugh. It does. Mick, very seriously, ignores the amused look Sebastian sends him.

4. “Wait,” Mick says, a while after. He and Sebastian are sat side by side now, feet dangling in the water, cool against their calves. Strands of Lewis’s hair tickle Mick’s leg whenever he floats too close.

“How did you know Lewis was a mermaid? I never told you.”

He looks quickly at Lewis to make sure he knows that. Lewis’s mouth tilts up at one side and he doesn’t say anything. Mick curls his toes and uncurls them.

“I didn’t either,” Lewis says, looking up at Sebastian. He wraps a wet hand around Mick’s ankle, thumb brushing along his instep.

Sebastian shrugs, face flat and still in that way that he does right before he’s about to tell a joke that he is particularly proud of. His mouth is twitching.

“Ah, you know,” he starts, shrugging. “The smell of fish is very strong around him, yes?”

He catches hold of Mick’s t-shirt when Lewis pulls Sebastian in by the foot, dragging both of them down. Mick swallows a dreadful amount of sea water, laughing and then choking. Lewis’s hands are cold and soft on his elbows when he pulls him back up to the surface.

5. Lewis’s shoulders are bare and broad as he arches in the air, whole body twisting and tucking as he dives back into the water. Show off.

Mick reaches out a hand and Lewis swims closer, humming. It’s still too early for other surfers to be out, sun not yet risen, tide in and calm.

Mick lies his chest flat on his board, one arm folded under his chin, the other still outstretched. Lewis’s curls are damp at the edges and loose around his face. Mick tucks one behind his ear when he gets close enough.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a while,” he says, and Lewis only raises is eyebrows.

“Have you?”

“Yes,” and when Mick kisses him, he tastes of salt and his lips are cold but his tongue is warm and everything is wet. He realises if he holds Lewis’s chin in one hand, fingers on his cheek, he can feel how the lines around Lewis’s mouth deepen when he smiles.

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go.

Chapter 14.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

You were never very good at getting people gifts. What made it even harder was to get someone a gift during an uprising of the dead when you had also accidentally got them shot in the foot.

Troy walked beside you with his arm slung lazily over your shoulder as you neared Mike’s caravan. He was smirking and trying not to laugh out loud as you listed off ideas of how to make up for his lost toe.

“I don’t know why you’re worrying so much, I was the one who shot him.”

You rolled your eyes, refusing to be drawn into another argument over who bore the most responsiblity for the events that occurred a few days ago.

“Isn’t he your best friend? I just want him to like me-“

“He will like you.” Troy said confidently.

“How can you know that?” I frowned, unconvinced.

Troy gazed down at you with a lop-sided grin as you scowled.

“Because I like you.” He teased, pulling you closer to his side.

Since the night spent in your bunk Troy had become more outwardly affectionate toward you, not caring who saw the way you held his hand or how his arm would wind possessively around your waist. You had blushed at breakfast that morning when Gretchen had raised her eyebrows at the sight before winking at you across the canteen.

You mostly ignored the curious eyes and whispers from the others. Your growing relationship with your soulmate meant far more to you than gossip from a group of strangers. And if Troy didn’t care what people thought than neither did you.

Except, of course, for the people that mattered most in his life. You may have formed a sibling like attachment to Jake and Cooper always gave you a friendly nod whenever you made eye-contact but you still had Jeremiah and Mike to win over.

Troy didn’t understand your need to be liked, to be welcomed by those who were family by both blood and bond, but he indulged your desire to try with some amusement.

You reached the caravan where Mike and his family were staying, a large canopy was set up beside it giving them far more space than any other rancher. You supposed it was a perk of being a Trimbol and one of the founding fathers, or so Troy had explained.

He’d pointed out the Brown’s home further in the distance and explained that Russell lived with his wife whilst Phil McCarthy was more of a loner who remained at an outpost away from the ranch. You’d made a mental note to introduce yourself to the couple, apparently Mrs Brown loved to gossip so Troy had conveniently remembered some other duty he had to attend to whenever you suggested an appropriate time to visit.

Troy knocked none too gently on the caravan door, his arm still wrapped around you as it swung open to reveal Mrs Trimbol’s sour expression. You hesitated, not having expected to have to face Mike’s mother.

“Your son around?” Troy asked easily, “or has he run off somewhere?”

You tried to discreetly elbow him in the ribs as Mrs Trimbol’s mouth tightened into a thin line. She seemed to be avoiding looking at you.

“Troy,” she said tightly as a way of welcome, “he’s inside. Recovering.”

Troy rolled his eyes but the cocky grin never left his face.

You stood a little sheepishly, your feet fidgeting in the grass as you dropped your gaze. Troy must have sensed your discomfort, either through the connection you shared or your sudden tension. You felt something spike in your chest, a feeling that wasn’t your own. Annoyance? At Mike or at your less than warm welcome, you weren’t sure. These shared emotions between you were becoming more regular as you grew closer but were still confusing.

“We just came to wish him well, Mrs T.” Troy drawled. “But if Mike is too busy being a puss-“

“Alright, I’m here!”

Mike appeared over his mother’s shoulder, gently prying her from her defensive stance in the doorway as he hobbled from the steps leading inside and landed on the grass with a wince. He closed the door behind him before his mother could speak and eyed Troy with a wary eye.

“You’re lucky she thought you were a cute kid. If Gretch or I spoke to her like that she’d knock our heads off.”

Troy shrugged and snorted. “What do you mean were? I’m still cute.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes. Troy had his moments but cute wasn’t exactly the word you’d use for him. The words you would use brought a slight blush to your cheeks which neither man noticed, thankfully.

You couldn’t help but notice how at ease Troy seemed around Mike compared to Jake. He seemed more relaxed, his smile genuine if teasing. You tucked the observation away for another time to consider.

“Mike,” you finally spoke, “I wanted to say how sorry I am for what happened. I… wasn’t myself. I didn’t know it was you chasing after me.”

Troy interjected before Mike could respond.

“I’ve already told her you’re good with what happened, but she insisted on apologising in person.”

Mike, without the gaze of his mother upon him, also seemed more relaxed even if you could tell he was struggling to stand at his full height without putting weight on his injured foot. It was as if he didn’t want to show weakness in front of Troy, which made sense you supposed. He was technically his superior within the militia.

Also you were sure there was some male pride involved in the whole interaction.

Mike ducked his head and offered a lazy smile. His hair was shaggy and his beard well overdue some maintenance.

“You know, I can help you with that.” You said gesturing to his hair as a sudden idea came to mind.

“You some kind of stylist, before?”

You shrugged, “Sort of, for a while.”

Pre-apocalypse you’d been a student working part time jobs to earn some money as you figured out what path you wanted to follow in life. You’d spent some time learning to cut and style hair before moving on to your next job whilst you procrastinated on choosing which subject you would commit to studying.

When you’d asked Troy about his school life he’d gone quiet before changing the subject. Perhaps getting to know Mike might help you learn a little more about Troy.

“I can’t make you look any worse. And I promise not to drop the scissors on your other toe.”

Both men laughed and the sound helped put you at ease.

“You know what, sure. It’s either you or my mother and if she had it her way she’d leave me as bald as Coop.”

You said your goodbyes and you walked away from the camp site with a spring in your step. Troy nudged you, giving you a sideways glance that clearly said told you without him have to speak.

“Do you feel better now?” He smiled.

“You know I do.” You smiled back.

And you did. Was this finally it? The lightness in your heart, was this the way you were supposed to feel with your soulmate? It felt good.

It was hard to think that you’d almost thought Troy would turn his back on you. You felt guilty, having doubted him. Especially since Troy had taken care of everything before he’d come back to you in the bunk, moving the body of the man you had… who had died… far from the ranch.

“What did you do with… it?” You asked the next day, unable to bring yourself to say the word “he”, to acknowledge the monster who had hurt you as human.

Troy had said nothing for a few moments as if weighing up whether to tell you the truth or not. You supposed you didn’t really care as long as you’d never have to set eyes upon that burned face again.

“Finished the job someone started on him.” Troy said eventually. “There wasn’t much left in the end.”

Finish the job? It took you a moment to realise…

“You burned…?”

No burial. No, people buried people. Not monsters.

You’d felt a tug in your chest and looked up to meet Troy’s eyes. He was watching you closely with that expression you hadn’t quite figured out how to read yet. You felt within you to the bond you shared but whatever he was feeling wasn’t strong enough for you to read at that moment.

“Something wrong?” He asked.

You had shaken your head, trying to keep your expression calm as you inwardly fought off the memories of hands all over your body, the smell of alcohol and fire and burning skin…

Troy stepped closer.

“Because you’re shaking,” he had told you.

You raised your hands slightly and realised he was right. Your body had begun to tremble, how had you not noticed?

Carefully, as if waiting for you to give him permission, Troy began to wrap an arm around you and pull you against his chest. You couldn’t help the way you collapsed against him. You felt as if you would cry at any moment but no tears would come.

His embrace grew steady and firm, but not tight enough that you felt trapped against him. He would have offered you comfort if there had been any to give.

“You can tell me, you know. Anything.”

You closed your eyes and listened to his steady heartbeat beneath your ear. Troy didn’t need you describe the horrors you’d been put through. Between everything that had been said already he could figure out the men he’d saved you from before were not the first to try and harm you.

“It was me,” you’d said quietly, almost hoping it had been too quiet for him to hear. “I burned him. Him and his father, while they slept…”

The words kept coming and Troy merely waited patiently as you confessed to your own monstrous act.

“I wanted them to feel it. All the pain and fear they inflicted on me.”

Troy made a sound low in his throat. You’d waited for him to recoil from you or begin asking questions, he simply held you until your trembling stopped and your breathing slowed back to a normal pace.

“Do you think I’m a terrible person?” You had whispered against his chest.

Troy did move away this time, but it had only been to look you in the eye.

“Never.”

You tried to believe him. You remembered his words before. How he understood having to do things that were necessary…

If only he could have found the words to tell you that what you’d done was a mercy compared to what he would do given the chance to get his hands on those men now. But you had taken justice into your own hands and he could only admire you for it.

Troy had been so afraid when he’d found you. Afraid you would die. Afraid you would leave. Afraid you would see him for who he really was and be just as revolted by him as everyone else in his life. His father turned a blind eye, his brother made excuses and his “friends” were either too scared to say anything or just relieved to have someone else willing to do the dirty work so they wouldn’t have to that they pretended not to see the darkest parts of him.

His mother had never hidden what she thought of him though. She could see the rot that had taken root in him as a child, she’d told him daily before she died how she wished she were strong enough to take him with her. She couldn’t leave Troy to be a burden on the world.

And then the world had changed, and Troy was no longer a burden or a thing to be frightened and ashamed of. Troy understood the world now.

And you, when he’d seen you wield that knife over Derek’s bloody throat he’d known everything he’d been through had been to lead him to you.

A mere few days had changed so much, but as Troy led you through the ranch he could finally believe that in his soulmate he had found the only person who could understand and accept him.

You allowed yourself to be led by Troy as he finally gave you a much overdue tour of the entire ranch. You scratched the heads of the cows and horses as they wandered the fields, were shown the fields they grew crops and Troy explained how they gathered power for electricity in the house. You didn’t walk all the way to Jake’s place, but Troy pointed it out and you waved to a distant figure who was sat atop the roof whom you assumed was his brother. He tolerated a whole thirty minutes talking to the Brown’s until they’d started talking wistfully about their wedding day - which apparently had taken place not long after The Pull had drawn them together.

Troy made and excuse for you to leave as soon as you were given pointed looks when Mrs Brown offered to show you her wedding dress.

You laughed as you walked the hill back to the main campsite as Troy looked horrified.

“I could be offended you know!” You mocked as he shot you a sideways look. “Perhaps I’ve always dreamed of being a bride!”

Troy groaned, “I’ve never seen the point to be honest. My father married twice and was just twice as miserable.”

You quietened at the mention of Jeremiah. You hadn’t seen nor heard from him since the night of, well, the incident.

Troy hadn’t brought him up either and you wondered if that was a good sign, or him simply avoiding a difficult conversation.

Your sudden shift in mood didn’t go unnoticed and Troy reached for your hand, pulling you against him.

“Hey I didn’t mean anything by that.”

You shook off the worry on your features and smiled, “I know. I was thinking about… it doesn’t matter.”

Troy squeezed at your hand gently.

“If it’s on your mind if matters.”

I took a deep breath.

“I was thinking about… your dad.”

A series of expressions crossed Troy’s face, from confusion to disgust.

You slapped playfully at his chest before your own expression grew more serious.

“I just meant I’m surprised he hasn’t had more to say about everything that’s happened. Have you spoken to him since…?”

Troy’s nod was slow and deliberate, as if buying some time before he’d have to answer any more questions. Your stomach drops.

“Not good, is it?”

Troy sighed.

“My old man’s a pain in the ass. You shouldn’t be worrying about him.”

How could you not? Jeremiah was head of the ranch and although the place wasn’t run like a dictatorship you knew he held a lot of influence over people.

“I don’t understand why he hates me.” You say flatly. When Troy remained silent you send him a sideways glance before speaking again. “That was very reassuring, thank you Troy.”

Blue eyes snap to yours and Troy frowns.

“What?”

You get caught between a sigh and a chuckle as Troy’s shoulders stiffen.

“Relax, I was just messing with you. Look we don’t have to talk about your dad, not today. Let’s just enjoy ourselves.”

You try to coax Troy out of his mood for a little longer but it’s clear there is something on his mind. Something he isn’t ready to share. You feel within you to the connection keeping you bound and find what feels like a wall…

You try to keep my worried expression off my face, but of course Troy can sense how you are feeling and he nudges you softly with his elbow.

"Hey, don't overthink it. You're here with me now. I'm not letting anything change that."

You try to smile and swallow down your concern. However Troy learning to keep a wall up between you was something that certainly caused you more worry.

[cipher-zoo]

First off to the birthday anon you own me financial compensation because one gonna be thinking about that forever

And kinda expanding on that maybe when buggy is a bit older its his birthday again and this time they didnt forget and they get a party set up that night. And then buggy doesnt show up. He is gone for hours and they are freaking out. Its well past midnight when buggy shows up scuffed and bruised but okay.

And they are demanding where is was at and why he didnt come to his own birthday party and to that buggy is just dismissively like “oh that was today”

And when the press further about where he was (cuase he wont tell anyone) he is just in general confused he is like “ sorry about the party but like you usually dont care when im usuallyout”

And before his mind can catch up Rayliegh ask “ what do you mean your usually out?”

And the look and buggys face is enough to tell them they once again fucked up and now everyone is trying to remember the last they saw buggy actually on the ship whenever their docked.

Buggy had assumed they knew when he was gone and just never asked either becuase they trusted him or just didnt care, they hadnt left him yet (there had been some close calls). He bother to hear the rest and just heads off to bed

Reggie, my friend! You can't demand financial compensation and then break MY heart in return! What did I do? I'm just the messenger here - well, a very unreliable messenger who adds their own thoughts and takes to other people's messages 🤔 ... but a messenger nonetheless!

All this being said, holy hell, I love this.

I have this Headcanon that, over the years, Buggy turned out to be a far bigger troublemaker than Shanks. At least on one hand, because he had less to lose than Shanks - after all Shanks was the golden boy, and we can't ignore that that must have put a lot of pressure on his shoulders as well - and on the other hand, because Buggy, as we know him, just gets himself into the most miserable situations. [Rayleigh definitely had to have the 'you can't follow strangers, just because they tell you they have treasure in the back of their carriage' conversation with Buggy MULTIPLE times]

Now I'm not just saying this to ramble, but because I think that maybe this is how the situation could have started.

When he was younger, Buggy would every now and again get in trouble for staying away from the ship for too long. I believe in the early days this was by no means on purpose, he was simply set on some goal or another that had him so focused he simply forgot to get back in time (that, or he got in trouble). Which in turn would get him stuck with more chores or maybe being stuck with guard duty for the next island etc.

But over the years, Buggy noticed that he would get in trouble less and less often. And he started to assume that Rayleigh simply realized that he could trust Buggy to stay out longer, since he was getting older and even if he wasn't as strong as Shanks, he could defend himself if necessary.

Only then to realize that the real reason was that nobody even NOTICED that he wasn't there... yeah, that must have hurt.

I don't know if you listen to musicals, but there is this song: "Superboy and the Invisible Girl" from the musical Next to Normal. And I have to say, this whole situation reminds me of that a lot.

Thank you very much for sharing these thoughts with me. Even if it hurts.

[Also, part of me feels like I need to write some happy Roger Pirate head canons, because as I said, I love them so much, and I know I am portraying them in a negative light a lot right now, but that's just one verse of them I could see!]

[loaksky]

Hello love, I'm so so happy for youuuu, i saw your 1k follower post and now this!!!! Ahhh I'm so happy, you really deserve this for your hard work, and i saw some angst prompts i can't decide between 19, 32, 33, 38, 42, and 48 with like neteyam, lo'ak or Jake, like cheats on the reader, Like they were forced into a marriage or something? Yeah no comfort, I'm in a sad era rn, i need some heartbreak 😭🤌🏼 and again a very hearty congratulations 🎉👏🏼🫶🏼💙

fourth installment for the party; thank you for participating !

jake sully x fem omatikaya!reader, angst w an open ending, prompts 32 + 42, wc: 1046

not typically fond of the whole 'neytiri's sister' trope, but tried to do something a little different and i think it works well enough in this case !

It’d always been like this, the burden of the clan’s future on your shoulders, yet the eclipse of your younger sister’s shadow looming like a snuffing darkness. You’d been born out of obligation, Neytiri born of pure desire, and out of all the things that graced the small moon to intensify this gnawing feeling, you hadn’t expected it to be the clumsy dreamwalker who stumbled upon your village. 

Jake Sully was a peculiar thing and, even more peculiar, you were tasked with showing him the way of the Omatikaya despite having other pressing duties to tend to. So as the sun sits high at its peak in the blue skies, until it disappears and shrouds Pandora in the glowing luminescence of the moon’s heartbeat, you toil with blood, sweat, and tears to make sure that Jake Sully won’t disappoint you or your people. 

But the biggest disappointment doesn’t come from Jake, though. It comes from you. Because try as you might to separate your duties from the ministrations of your temperamental heart, you fall hard. Can’t help it when Jake doesn’t make you feel the pressure your parents and the villagers do. When he makes you giggle, makes you forget that you’re doing this out of requirement. Especially so when his fingers brush yours and your skin lights like livewire beneath a cool surface. 

Jake Sully makes you feel and you begin to wonder if you’re willing to give in and lay yourself bare at the expense of everything you’ve worked hard for since you can remember. 

So when Jake tells you that your father and mother want him to choose a woman to solidify his place in the tribe, it makes your stomach lurch like the waves of the relentless ocean. There are women, far and wide, who fawn over the newcomer. Whisper the most decent and indecent things about your Jake. 

But most importantly, Neytiri is among those eyes, the quietest of those whispers because if there’s anything she hates more, it’s the idea of crossing her beloved older sister. Of taking away yet another thing that dangles just within your reach. 

“Have you chosen?” you ask with bated breath, stoking the dying fire at the center of the tent. 

Jake blinks at you like you’re stupid, a silent gaze that asks if you’ve been experiencing the same things that he has over the course of months flooded with an overwhelming yearn for you. 

“I have,” he opts to say, swallowing down the knot of fear that wedges at the base of his throat. He moves the smallest of spaces closer, pinky finger reaching for your own as he watches the flames cast harsh shadows over the soft contours of your stoic face. 

You nod once, a long stretch of silence making the ache in Jake’s chest pinch tenfold. 

“You’re not going to ask me who?” he asks quietly. 

“Should I?” you reply, fixing the final pieces of your bravado into place. 

He blinks once, twice, in disbelief. 

“Don’t make me feel like I imagined this whole thing,” he pleads softly. 

You want to be selfish, want to push yourself into his arms, want to whisper against his lips that of course he hadn’t imagined this whole thing. That if you didn’t have your whole world on the line, that you wouldn’t think twice about giving yourself to him, of taking him as he is. 

“Perhaps you have,” is all you say, shifting to settle a sizable distance between you two. 

He’s incredulous, speaking to cover the sounds of his breaking heart. 

“I think I…,” Jake trails off. “I know that I’m falling in love with you. And I also know that you feel it, too.” 

You scoff out a humorless laugh, unable to meet his gaze because you know you’ll crack. 

“There are hundreds of other women you could set your sights on, Jake,” you say flatly. “Why me?” 

“Why not you?” he argues shakily. “I don’t care about other women, and maybe I’m being presumptuous, but I also don’t care about your sister.” 

That makes you look. 

It means that he’s noticed. He’s noticed that the same way he yearns for you, Neytiri yearns for him. It makes it burn all the more, that you’ll always be his first choice despite having to put an end to whatever this is between the two of you. 

“I have a duty to this clan, Jake,” you say, feeding more fuel to the fire. “My future has already been mapped out and you are not a part of it.” 

His face falls, ears flattening as he jerks away like he’s been burned. 

“I should’ve…” He shakes his head. “I should’ve already known I wasn’t good enough.”

Your eyes shake with tears, scalding as the flames start to lick the edges of the enclosure. Of all the things Jake could be in your book, good enough would always be one of them. 

“Don’t say that,” you whisper. “It’s not like that. It’s just–” 

“Then tell me what I did wrong!” he hoarses, chest heaving. “What’s wrong with me?” 

Your lips twitch into a frown and you hiccup as Jake unravels before you. You reach a trembling hand towards him, but he’s drawing farther and farther away from you. 

“I’ve been trying so hard,” he shudders, standing to tower above you. “To make you see that this is all for you. And I’d be a damned liar if I said that I went into this with the purest of intentions, but you made me fall for you. You made me want to be a better man for you.” 

The first tear slips and you’re dashing it away angrily. 

“Jake–” 

“I’ve fucked up a lot of things in my life, but I’m just now finding something actually worth living for,” he swallows. “So please, just be with me and let me live.” 

You’re blinking away the sheen that glosses over your eyes and pools at your waterline. 

He watches you with desperate eyes, watches as your fists clench and you sniffle over the roar of the crackling fire. It burns nearly as much as he does for you, but when you don’t meet his gaze, or make no moves to follow him after he leaves, he gets his answer. 

neng © 2023

[scenicphoenix]

some more Gloom link au ranting (some repeating just to have almost everything in one place)

Au of He came back "wrong", his memories are there but incredibly foggy, the only crystal clear memories he has are Zelda and Ganon. He spends a long time just wandering the depths in a haze.

He's made entirely of gloom at this point, mostly. If you stripped the gloom away far enough you would find his mummified body. The a mix of his old magic/soul and gloom is literally keeping him alive at this point. Without the gloom his body would fail him and he would die. Pruha and Robbie thinks he can be cured, uh oh! Impa is unsure.

The reason this au happened in the first place is because Raru's arm didn't have enough energy when detaching from Ganon and dissipates. Zelda picks up the Zonai stone as normal, Link protects her from the awakening Ganon as normal, they all fall and Zelda is sent back in time. But no one is there to catch Link from falling into the depths with Ganon.

Ganon takes advantage of the situation, wants to use their hero against them. He tries to control his mind in different ways but none of them work, Link is too stubborn, he won't be controlled. So he decides to just let the gloom overtake him completely and start from scratch with the heroes soul as a baseline. Is this new gloom created Link still Link. Link doesn't know either, who is he, why is he. He does know he isn't going to be taking orders from this asshole, and when he's gained enough strength back makes a run for into the depths. Learning to teleport between sources of gloom.

He is very protective of his tattered champions tunic, the broken master sword (he does later manage to get it to the temple of time), and his only clear memories (mostly being of Zelda) his later interactions with old friends goes as well as you would think when he's a walking corpse now and barely remembers them.

His first interaction with another person after being turned into gloom was with a Yiga, who needed help escaping a Lynle. Link has been enjoying fighting stronger monsters lately just to let off steam. This first yiga doesn't know how to feel about this, they're alive thanks to the guy they want dead, and are they a little more unhinged than usual?

Link is still kind and caring at heart, he collects brightbloom seeds to give to people who can't see in the dark like he can. He will gladly show lost explorers towards the nearest sign of life or an exit. He has become a sort of cryptid/myth

He physically can't talk, he screech like those hands though. And as his control of gloom gets stronger he is able to make different types of noises, like chirping, growling, and laughing. He is still unable to produce words, that would require functional vocal cords and his are unfortunately mummified

He likes covering up completely, usually in the depths set as it contains the gloom he's made of so it's less likely to harm nearby people. It also helps if he needs to go to the surface, the sun is a tad painful these days. Light itself and light magic being particularly harmful to him.

Getting the fully healed master sword from zelda (the light dragon) has a very good chance of outright destroying him. He's the only one who can wield the sword, and the only one who can retrieve it. He will figure it out

He ends up making quite a few friends with Yiga due to his acts of kindness. He doesn't notice he's getting a small following until it's too late to do anything about it. His ability to manipulate gloom has been seen as impressive he guesses. The following gets bigger when he's able to start controlling monsters with the gloom

Can use gloom like glue, can still use Zonai devices to his advantage. They are more likely to fall apart on him though do to the nature of gloom.

Prefers being in the depths at this point. Is concerned about what Zelda will think of him once she's turned back. I'm thinking of having her come back "wrong" too. Anthro dragon princess and the love her life mummified twink resurrected by gloom. Don't worry (worry actually she will over work herself) she'll find a way that they can safely be together.

[dent-de-leon]

Once again, throwing my Molly thoughts upon you.

Sometimes I think about the times Molly is like extra soft with kids. Like Toya and that little firbolg child. I know there was a little bit of contention with how distant he was from Kiri, but I think it made sense because he and the Nein are a travelling adventuring group sent out on a dangerous task for the Gentleman, and like that is not safe for a growing baby Kenku, no, sir.

And sometimes I think that if he were to reconcile with Aldreda and meet his niece and step-nephew, he be so fucking great with them.

Yes!! I can't get over how compassionate Mollymauk really is ;; I think a lot about how Molly tries to hide the sight of Kylre's body from Toya, to shield her from the worst of it all...

When Molly was lost and all alone in the world, it was Toya who first saved him; he followed her song back to the carnival. To his new home. Toya reminisces fondly on how they both found their voice together, were able to really connect and anchor each other.

"The newest people we've had are Mollymauk and Yasha...He came after I did. We both found our voice together. I was very scared, and he wasn't talking--and together, we helped each other learn to have fun again."

Molly only lived a very short two years. In some ways, I imagine he still feels a bit childlike--and wouldn't be surprised if Toya still thought of herself as Molly's protector as much as he was hers. After all, she's the one who first takes him in, who tries to convince the rest of the circus he should stay. When Molly stumbles into their camp naked and shivering, looking so desperately lost and all alone? She wants the circus to keep him like a stray kitten, to make him a part of their little family.

I think Molly is able to connect so well with kids because it wasn't too long ago that he was so young and vulnerable and new to the world himself. He admits to Beau, "Oh! I just realized--I never had a childhood," and seems to agonize a bit over that loss. He recalls of his early life at the circus that, "I was a bit out of it. It's hard to remember. I wasn't speaking really. Do you have...memories, from your childhood?...It felt like that. It was all bright and more meaningful than it should be. There was just nothing. I was practically catatonic; I was barely speaking."

So it's easier for Molly to understand kids I think, because he still feels like his own childhood was just two years ago, because he's still finding his way in the world--still the Fool at the beginning of his journey.

I think about how Molly and Toya always had each other's backs. How Toya first brought him home, and then Molly picked her up in his arms and carried her away from Kylre's body. Promising her that everything would be okay. "I'm scared." "I know. It's going to be a bit rough, but it was for the best. I'm so sorry. Some people just turn. I'm so sorry...He got sick. There was something inside him. Something that made him do bad things, but it had to be taken care of. You're going to be alright."

He's gentle with her, comforting. When Jester reveals Kryle's head, Matt describes Toya as, "sobbing into your arms at this point. You feel her body shaking against her grasp." And Molly does his best to just hold on and reassure her. "I'm going to take her to the front of the boat and keep her far away from all that." Whenever Molly's being soft with Toya, I can't help but imagine it was exactly the same for Lucien with Aldreda.

As for the firbolg child, that always just breaks my heart; if this were any sort of scripted show, Molly being the one to comfort them and try to make them smile after everything, this moment of such compassion right before Mollymauk sacrifices himself...that would be a death flag if I've ever seen one. Mollymauk performing a little magic tragic to cheer up a child whose just lost everything? Completely fumbling it, but still being so earnest and warm, it made the kid happy all the same? Gifting him one of his own little trinkets, like a good luck charm?

The way Molly made sure to prioritize their comfort first, to check that he wouldn't scare them--because god, Molly's used to people only ever looking at him with fear. A devil, a demon, an outcast. But for just a moment, he's back at the circus putting on a show again, bringing a bit of joy to another lonely child? It's such a tiny thing, but it's another reminder of how much Molly's "choir practice" really means to him, how he really did try to leave every place better than he found it--

And the thing about Kiri is...even though Taliesin admitted Molly avoided ever getting too close to Kiri because he thought they were going to lose her, it's also very much because of Molly that she even survived to begin with.

In the swamp, Jester hears a desperate cry, and runs to help. Everyone else in the Nein try to tell her that it's a lost cause; they're not going to make it, it's too late, it's too much of a risk. Jester worries over what she should do, whether her chance to save them is already long gone.

And Molly? He's the one who makes a snap decision, who chooses then and there to go with Jester's instinct and try to protect this little creature in need. When he casts Enthrall, he ensures that they stay in the fight--and that Kiri isn't devoured right away. "Are we doing this? Well, we're doing this." It really feels like the deciding factor in whether or not Kiri was going to make it.

Molly is just...so soft hearted, and we see that side of him a bit in Lucien too. Especially with children or someone in need, Molly's always had this fierce protectiveness about him. I think a lot of it maybe stems from Lucien's own childhood--how he always tried so hard to shield his little sister from their parents, did everything he could to give her a better life. How he tended to his older brother's wounds after what their father did to him.

I want so badly for King to get the chance to reunite with Aldreda and his niece one day, I really do think he'd still be very good with kids, and very protective of the family he has left.

It just...breaks my whole heart that Lucien ached so terribly to be a part of their life, dreamed of it every day in the Claret Orders. Always imagined he'd get to come home one day and they'd be a family again. And even as Aldreda can't stand the very sight of him, wants absolutely nothing to do with him--it makes it hurt all the more that her other child clearly wants to know Lucien. He looks so excited to meet someone who looks just like his mom!! He gives Lucien a little wave before Aldreda sends him away! It just...really hurts to think that even though Aldreda herself turned him away, at least one of her children still wanted Lucien in their lives.

I can see Lucien's little niece and nephew maybe finding King one day, really wanting to get to know him--even though Aldreda wanted to burn that bridge. I don't think it'd ever stop them from being curious, from wondering why they've never met anyone from their mother's family or past. But when they're older, I can see them wanting to reach out to Kingsley, to reconnect. Especially if their mother is still as unhappy as she seemed that day.

I genuinely think the most tender moment we ever see of Lucien is when he tries to reach out to his niece for the first time. When he sees this baby tiefling that looks so much like his dear sister, the tiny bumps of her horns, her little round face...you can tell he's trying to be so very gentle and ginger with her, but the very moment he reaches for her, Aldreda reels back in disgust.

And it's his scars that make her react like that. The blood hunter scars from all the times he let himself get hurt chasing the desperate hope that he could ever see his sister again. That's just haunting. Of all things, it's Lucien's own pain and trauma that terrifies and reviles his sister the most. The final straw that makes him unworthy of being family to her. It's Aldreda seeing him as nothing but a stranger, a monster, another reminder of the horrific nightmare she always tried to forget.

"And what could you do for me? For us? You've been ignoring me for years, and at first it hurt, but then I came to realize it could be for the best. I could forget our family, leave the nightmares behind, make something good of my own...I don't recognize you anymore. Who knows what kind of danger you've brought to our doorstep just by coming!...You can't even tell me what you are now or what you've become!...It's too late, Lucien. It's too late. Maybe years ago, I don't know...I can't think properly. Just looking at you stirs up such evil feelings in me. It isn't fair, I know, but it's true. I look at you and I hear distant screams, I see again our brother's face leering, bloated with unnatural life."

Aldreda stabs him in the heart with every confession, every admission that her own brother terrifies her. That he just feels like some other terror of the past come back to haunt her. Lucien gave everything to try and spare his sister from their cruel parents and a bloodthirsty hag, but it still wasn't enough. It was never enough. He isolated himself, risked his life again and again, did whatever he thought was necessary to keep his sister safe--baring the scars of it all alone for years, trying to shoulder all that pain himself--and still. In the end...he's alone.

I think about Aldreda demanding, "How? How could we be a family again? I don't even know you." And Lucien's heartbroken promise that, "But you will know me. You could." And what hurts even more? I could see that same exact conversation playing out years later, between her and King. I want them both to have that kind of closure so bad. I want a oneshot where we get to see King meet his family again for the first time. A world where Aldreda would let her brother hold her child. A time where they can finally reunite and start to understand each other--

[salsa-di-pomodoro]

About the Ingo + Arceus road trip: waitwaitwait, what do you mean by consequences in a trip to the future of his own timeline? 👀

Well, as i said it's nothing actually too concerning, just a setback. You see, since the last world he traveled long enough that he would take at least a week to fully recover from the strain of it that's what he should have done. But because of the knowledge that he is so very close to going home and finding Emmet and finally getting his answers, along with the added stress of trying not to see anything about the future (cause yeah that's going to be. Stressful. What if it's not something he wants to know?), he decided to leave earlier. He does not tell the future people of how long he should have rested. (They'll figure it out either way, looking at records of Ingo's many future (past?) Interviews 🥲. They're not going too upset over it though. They understand, they're just worried. They decide to keep a closer eye on any future fallers or interdimensional travelers they find.)

Either way, Arceus is understandably concerned over this fyi like they do care, they've spent the last few months with this guy and are pretty aware of his limits, but Ingo is really just... Tired. He insists over this, and they cave. They make sure to go particularly fast and be even more careful than usual this time, but of course they can't do everything.

Ingo gets only to see the shoreline of the forest underneath the entralink area and realize he made it before he gives in to his body and he passes out. He tells Arceus he's going to sleep, and they, not really knowing any better still (they're horrible at social interactions outside of divine intervention ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ but hey what else was it going to be. They spend all their time doing who knows what managing the universe. This is just one arm after all.), trust him in that. They hang around in the faint way you'd imagine they were looking over Akari in the game, sort of looking over him and waiting for him to wake up and making sure he doesn't die. If he were to die now they would feel so upset over it. They became friends with Ingo over time (i don't think they will completely leave once he is settled in his life either; they're probably going to be a metaphorical call away :)), which is probably the closest they're ever going to get to being a Pokémon companion, something i believe they wished to experience if the battle with them at the end of the game tells me anything.

He is found by a family of zorua and zoroarks. They aren't used to seeing humans so far into the forest and got curious. Ingo's Pokémon, who were starting to get really worried (it has been a while since he went to 'sleep' by now), sense them and they decide someone should come out. The first one to do so is Ingo's alpha zoroark (the others are happy to know someone is out there helping Ingo and calm down for the moment. They do listen in though). It was particularly excited about getting to Unova, knowing it was the land its ancestors came from that was spoken of so longingly by the oldest zoroarks in the packs, the ones that still remembered when they were kits, leaving that place with their parents, following humans. It is immediatly blindsided by the sight of ALIVE zoruas and zoroarks, and for a moment it only revels in the knowledge they they are There, finally, before remembering why it was so impatient to get out. It finds it cannot wake up Ingo. And immediatly asks for help from the zoroark's family. The poor guys are incredibly confused and maybe a little afraid and or disturbed to see such a visibly scarred (i mean like. The red things) zoroark (also it's huge, cause its an alpha) and would really like to ask a few questions, but they accept either way. Why would they not, after all? (They do not know that in Hisui asking for help on behalf of a human to any Pokémon would be So dangerous)

So with a bit of help from some of Ingo's Pokémon they bring him back to their den. Arceus, whose full attention has been attracted by now, comes back in the right plane of existence, and once informed Ingo isn't waking up, promptly freaks out a little and wakes him themself, by using divine powers or something.

Ingo wakes up with a terrible, terrible sense of déjà vu and no idea of where he is or how he got there. He is terrified to realize he doesn't remember nearly anything.

-

-

-

Lmao SIKE i would never do that to him. He thinks he doesn't remember anything, but really he's just in that state where you wake up and don't even know who you are for a hot second, except he's exausted enough that he doesn't even realize he hasn't quite woken up completely and therefore will be in that state for a while, along with the added effect of the harsh travel causing a more serious version of the confusion effect Pokémon can get. Except he's a human so even that's different. So he's basically just tired and confused and panicking and the void travel temporarily blocked his memories. This time fr temporarily. He isn't thinking straight enough to realize he recognizes all the Pokémon in the room by name, but to be fair to him at this point he can barely move still, so.

Arceus, who is also internally panicking by now, decides that if Ingo truly once again doesn't remember anything they'll help him, this time not just out of duty, but because he is a friend and really, this is te first time they truly realize how much they've come to care for him, but if anything happened to him they'd truly grieve. They've only felt grief such as the one they re afraid of now, years and years ago, with the original hero. Ingo may not be the here but that doesn't matter.

So despite having no idea of how to do that, they decide to take a page out of Ingo's book, and decide that no matter what, they're going to fix this, just like he resolved to fix his situation, no matter what it took.

So they tell Ingo not to worry. They tell him to not try to force himself to remember, and they reassure him that he is going to be fine, they'll make sure of that. He has nothing to worry about. They tell him to go back to sleep.

And really, is anyone going to look in the face of a god, with the subconscious knowledge they they are your friend, telling you that you are going to be fine and NOT believe them?

Ingo goes back to sleep. When he wakes up next, a day later, he is still extremely tired, but he can move and think properly (courtesy of his Pokémon feeding him persim and lum berries ground into paste, also courtesy of the zoroark family's berry stash. They did not sign up for Arceus showing up in their den but there doesn't seem to be any danger and MAN are they curious by now), and finds that he can remember everything just fine. He finds by checking his (somewhat recently repaired) xtransreceiver that all the pictures and videos he took of the worlds he has been in match with what he remembers. He isn't missing any time. (Arceus is secretly SO relieved when he tells everyone this. They had been getting dirty looks by everyone when they refused to explain how exactly they were going to fix this, and they are glad he doesn't actually need their help. Also he's just their friend and they're glad he's fine.)

Ingo promptly starts trying to get up and leave to go home and has to be forcefully kept in the den so he doesn't overexert himself again. He has not learned anything from this experience. He needs so much therapy poor boy <3

(they can't keep him there for long though. The next day they depart, with a promise to go back to visit (Ingo's zoroark is so happy to have made a few friends already :) the zoruas love their weirdass new family member as well. They're so cool and weird :) they will not stop asking questions, as kids do.) and manage to get on the other side of lostlorn forest by the time it's night. It's not long to Nimbasa from there. The roads feel so familiar already, even this far from the city itself.)

(Chandelure has been feeling a disturbance in the force, but she knows not to leave. Ingo will get here soon. Emmet has noticed how chipper she has gotten in the last few days. He has also noticed how she tends to stare towards the wall, in one particular direction. He will not need to wait for much longer, he knows.)

Extras in the tags! Reblogs are very appreciated.

[sinceileftyoublog]

This Is The Kit & Gruff Rhys Live Show Review: 10/19, Lincoln Hall, Chicago

This Is The Kit's Kate Stables

BY JORDAN MAINZER

On This Is The Kit's latest album Careful Of Your Keepers (Rough Trade), Kate Stables asks many questions without expecting answers to all of them. "When are we gonna get there, when are they?" "If we're holding hands, will we walk at the same speed?" "Boy, I'm talking to you, are you listening?" Okay, maybe that last one is easy (he's definitely not listening), but for the most part, Stables' philosophical quandaries and mantra-like repetitions are metaphors for the uneasy and paradoxical nature of relationships and time. "This is a how shit is this measuring stick," she sings, tongue twisted, on album opener "Goodbye Bite", having difficulty pinpointing exact beginning and ending points of certain eras in her life. If vagaries are the name of the game for This Is The Kit, the band's live performance last Thursday at Lincoln Hall brought to life, via instrumentation, Stables' gently agitated state.

This Is The Kit's Stables and Rozi Plain

Take "Goodbye Bite", and its concoction of sinewy guitars, bass, synth, and woodwinds: When you're listening to it, it feels like it's encircling your brain, threatening to wedge its way in. Stables, bassist Rozi Plain, guitarist Neil Smith, and drummer Lucien Chatin made sure it finally did when presented live, with a looser structure. Holding it all together, though, was Stables' voice, smoky in contrast to the wiry guitars of "Slider", seeming like it wanted to leap off the page on "Stuck in a Room", a song about wanting to leave where you are but having to stay. Stables' deft delivery sported the stamina of an MC, but over the band's taut music, it sounded like it was bursting at the seams. The elastic-rigid dynamic made its way to even old songs, like on the interplay between Stables' spritely banjo and Chatin's controlled toms on "Bullet Proof".

This Is The Kit

I should emphasize one more time: Just because Stables--and really, almost all people--has trouble quantifying abstractions like time, doesn't mean the band can't show off their tightness. On the Nick Drake lilt of "This Is When The Sky Gets Big", Stables and Plain staggered their harmonies to stunning effect. "Inside Outside" captivated with a jazzy groove. Really, the main image on "Scabby Head and Legs", that of a pigeon who holds eggs too tight and breaks them, seems like a warning signal for the band itself, who instead follow Stables' repeated advice of "cutting once, measuring twice." Yet, they break the rules when they want to, as long as they know that they're breaking the rules. Or, as Stables sings on "Dibs", "Let's pretend to not know that we're out of time."

Gruff Rhys

Though This Is The Kit's growth is certainly organic, enlisting Gruff Rhys of Super Furry Animals as producer on Careful Of Your Keepers is as natural a match as I can remember in recent memory, his experimental whimsy bringing out just enough circular strangeness to the band's sound. Lucky for us, Rhys gave an opening set on Thursday, which meant that he did come out to do backing vocals on a couple TITK songs like on the record. It also meant we got to hear some unreleased songs from his upcoming album Sadness Sets Me Free, the title track, "Bad Friend", and the already released "Celestial Candyfloss" among them. That Rhys played mostly an acoustic set meant he didn't give away what the new songs sound like on record. For one, he admitted to not knowing them very well. The finger-picked guitars on "Celestial Candyfloss" are totally overshadowed by the orchestral chamber pop of the studio version. Sure, some back catalog highlights, like "Lonesome Words" and the metronome-laden "If We Were Words (We Would Rhyme)", were not far cries from their respective studio versions. But Rhys was able to play with volume and his ever-changing distance from the microphone to create a sonic spaciousness on "Pang!" and the melancholy hum of "Shark Ridden Waters". Best, these versions may eventually see the light of day, as Rhys claimed he was recording for a live album, as he held up title cards to a surprisingly sparse crowd that said things like, "Generic audience reaction" so we knew when to cheer. He didn't have to, though. Those of us who were there knew it wouldn't be every day we'd be able to witness two forcefully creative entities on the same night: Our cheers were constant.

[kenshiramblings]

My Three Playthroughs

I picked up Kenshi as a birthday present in 2020 after being pretty isolated that year. I'd held off buying it but finally caved.

So far, I have had three playthroughs of Kenshi. I will not disclose how many hours I have in the game but I will say that it's in the triple digits. But each playthrough has been different overall (though the second and third did have one bit of overlap).

Playthrough 1 (?): Mods: None

I've got to be honest, I can't even remember the first guys name. I think it was Stump/Stub/Stamp? Something like that. The reason that I can't remember is because the first playthrough lasted last than an hour. I was a Scorchlander and was trying to play as in character as possible. The game said that Scorchlanders didn't like authority and were loners so I mined up enough copper and iron to buy food/building materials before leaving to build my own shelter away from everyone.

What I didn't know was that once you set down stakes, it put you on everyone's radar. I also didn't know that people would come to your new base. I learned the hard way when the Holy Nation came for Prayer Day.

During the conversation, I got the option to slap the Holy Priest. Well, Scorchlanders are supposed to be anti-authority and this guy was annoying so I slapped him. I guess I hadn't thought about the 8 or so armed guards with him who promptly drew they're swords and absolutely ruined my level 1 character.

I remember still being in the main character mindset of 'they got me good but I'll get up, get stronger, and get revenge'. But my character didn't get up. He slowly bled out and died right there. I didn't even take a screenshot of him. I can't even remember his name. And as the game kept playing, allowing me to watch my corpse and people walking by in the distance, I understood what kind of game Kenshi was. Your character didn't have a grand story or immense destiny. You could die in the first two days of playing, broke and in front of a half built small shack you never even got to finish building.

And while that may have been off-putting for others, it made me want to try again. This first character's story was over but I'd learn from it and do better in the second one.

Playthrough 2 (Peace): Mods: Compressed Textures, 256 Recruitment Limit, Recruitable Prisoners

I didn't give Peace his name. It was the name generated for him and I just never changed it. I don't know why. I might not have expected him to live that long. Little did I know.

Peace's story starts very similarly to my first characters but the difference was that I played much more cautiously. Any sign of bandits, I'd have him run or hide. No fighting unless cornered. Because of this, his athletic and stealth stats went up pretty quickly to the point that he could out run most bandits easily.

Another skill he leveled up was from healing dying bandits that got attacked by the town guards. Maybe it was due to his name but I just couldn't sit back and watch the bandits bleed out so I'd heal them all up. This started a routine of me healing any dying bandits I could find and taking their weapons as collateral. I actually made a decent chunk of money this way.

At some point, I had him follow a group of slavemongers that had captured a bunch of unconscious bandits. After what felt like forever, they ended up passing Blister Hill where I decided to resupply. It was there that I found the first recruit, Moo.

Moo wanted to leave Blister Hill but complained that she couldn't because women weren't allowed to travel alone. I was looking for a bodyguard for Peace so I recruited her and after resupplying, I had them return to the Hub. I had Moo fight bandits which increased her toughness. I'd make Peace hide and if she got knocked unconscious, he was fast enough to swoop in and out run them with her on his shoulders. She eventually became strong enough to handle a small group of hungry bandits by herself.

As I mentioned, I had the recruit prisoner mod on which I hadn't used at that point but it would soon come in handy. And boy did it.

At one point, I happened upon a bunch of bandits who had gotten into a fight with Holy Nation Paladins and gotten destroyed. I healed them up like usual. I was finishing up when I saw a group of slavers coming our way. I decided to start grabbing some of the bandits up and hiding them in a nearby shack. I only managed to grab two before the slavers showed up and took the rest. I ended up taking the two I hid back to town where I recruited them.

After that, the group stayed at a relatively small size. After Peace's stealth got up to a ridiculous degree, I made a habit of sneaking into dust bandit camps, knocking them out, and stealing their gear to sell in town. We ended up making a ton of money. We ended up recruiting two Shek (one from Squin and a captured Dust bandit).

The turning point came when we got attacked by the Holy Nation and half of my party nearly died. Annoyed, I ended up sneaking into the nearest city (Stack) and abducting their top ranked guy. After turning him into the Shek, we made a ton of money and the Shek took over Stack which later became our base of operations.

The thing I love about Kenshi is that there is no set goal or end game that you have to follow to progress the game. You have to set your own goals to progress. My main goal became to make Peace the best blacksmith and learn the highest level of weapons, Edge class. And so, the party had to venture out to find books. Over time, we recruited more bandits and traveled to a bunch of different parts of the map. After another Holy Nation attack, I finally kidnapped the Holy Phoenix and left him chained to a post in the foglands. But Stack was always the final destination when it was all done.

After getting Peace to the highest level of blacksmithing, the next goal was to make our own base. I picked a spot across the road from Stack. Slowly but surely, our small base grew and eventually became a small stronghold. We survived many bandit attacks and raids with the attackers either ending up in cages or in beds. Most raiders usually ended up walking out of their own free will minus their weapons and gear. The kill count was very low. I'd be surprised if it even cracked the triple digits.

Eventually, I got bored and decided it was a good place to leave things off. Peace started with nothing but ended up with a small army and a large self sustaining base the size of a small town. I wanted to try a different scenario so I ended it there.

Playthrough 3 (Moon): Mods: Compressed Textures

For my third and most recent playthrough, I thought I'd try something different. I picked Son of a Captain backstory where you're the son of a United Cities captain who ends up in The Hub. Because of this backstory, you have a good relationship with the United Cities but the Holy Nation's hostility is at 100. But to get back to the United Cities, you have to travel through Holy Nation territory.

This time I named the character Moon. I just thought it fit with the world. I set out to play this character much differently from Peace. He was to be a lot more cunning and resourceful. The main goal was to make money and build him up enough to make the journey back to the United Cities safely.

After venturing south to Squin to get the travel supplies I would need (backpack, map, food rations, etc), I ended up recruiting Ruka. At some point, I ventured out to the swamps. I didn't go too deep just to the first town close to the outskirts. While there, I sent Ruka to a shop to get fish. Unfortunately while I was paying attention to her, blood spiders attacked the town and Moon. It happened so fast that by the time I noticed that he was fighting, he was already unconscious and dying. I had to buy a small shack so I could have somewhere safe for him to heal. It wasn't until after that that I realized he'd lost his left arm in the fight.

Returning to the Hub with one less arm, I basically built up their athletics so that they could outrun bandits and paladins. Once I decided that they were fast enough, I set them off to get a robotic arm from the Hivers and then through Holy Nation territory. In order to avoid a real fight, I sent them through the valley sneaking past farms. To avoid going through Okran's Shield, we took the long way around through the Northern Coast. It took a bit but we eventually made it through and eventually arrived at Stoat, which would become their home.

After that, my goal as Moon was to make money. After buying (and freeing) a couple slaves, I had them each learn different skills and bought a building to make our shop.

We ended up making several different things from bandages to armor but the main staple of the shop was food and liquor. We sold rum and sake at a pretty decent pace as well as foodcubes and gohan.

One thing that I wanted to do playing as Moon was see more of the map as I rarely ventured beyond a certain area as Peace. And as Moon, I ended up venturing out to see all the weird and crazy parts of Kenshi I didn't see the first time in half as many hours.

And while there were some close calls, we always made it back. I've been taking a break from this playthrough after putting a big chunk of time into it but as of right now, Moon owns three buildings in Stoat, has several skilled employees running his shop, has a million cats to his name, and generally just travels to far out places to find blueprints and science books.

The crazy thing is that if I decided to start again, there's still so much I haven't done and so many areas I can still explore even after three years. There are so many games that have little to no replay value but Kenshi is the type of game that you can go back to with different goals and have a completely different experience to the game you played before.