#He's a Barbie Boy

[admiral-arelami]

HE'S BACK 🎹🎶

I know I'm about 3 weeks too late, but the "I'm a Barbie Girl" pianist is BACK, y'all. This one is just so clever, so well done!!

[lomlompurim]

What if instead of waking up in the mushroom body, sqq woke up in a doll.

Something something while lbh was away in the abyss, sqq without noticing offended a misterious (demonic-succubi-esque???) cultivator with a weird thing for making dolls. She had dolls all over her secret workshop that she very kindly let him into when she heard about the famous Xiu Ya sword being in the city.

What she wanted of him? Who knows, sqq couldn't bring himself to care. She probably wanted his money or try to steal his hair, the hair of those dolls seemed very much like real hair, although he had to admit the level of details on these dolls were amazing.

(she wanted to trick him into buying one of her cursed dolls and steal his life energy little by little, but got wifebeamed by widow sqq during their conversation about how talented she was to be able to make so many dolls, and without really understanding he rejected her with little to no emotion on his face)

So she cursed him, and since sqq didn't feel anything bad at the moment he thought it just didn't work and left, not sparing the curse a single thought after their encounter.

The rest of the story goes as usual, excep that after he self detonates his soul doesn't go into the mushroom body, instead it got directly into the shape of a doll in the workshop of this woman.

His first thought is thinking someone snitched the mushroom body bc wtf wasn't he supposed to wake up under the dirt??? Why this place smells slightly familiar? Like paint and humidity and floral perfumes?? and why everything looks fucking giganourmus?!?! A teapot should NOT look that big from his position....Oh no, did the mushroom body turned out as small as a squirrel? WhAT is happening?!

And then he looks at his arms and legs, and he has joints. White paper skin with joints in his wrists, elbows, torso, waist, knees, feet. And he panics, a lot.

The woman who cursed him starts monologuing about how she trapped him now, and you are mine, I made this doll specially for you master shen, this is my revenge for your insolence to leave me yada yada- Sqq stoped listening a while ago.

Somehow he manages to escape from this woman and now he is roaming around as the size of some apples. Everything is huge. Everything is dangerous, even the grasshopers! And this body is fragile! He can't feel heat nor cold, neither hunger or other things, but he is useless with no spiritual veins inside, and if someone is not looking carefully, they might crush him. And the way back to cq is gonna be a hell of a trip! But he needs airplane to fix this. He can't stay as a doll forever! He needs a mushroom body and then fly into the sunset far from this mess! Adiós! Goodbye! So his new plan is to infiltrate into cang qiong, look for that rat and disappear. Sneaking into some disciple's pouch must be enough to break in.

Something something it only had passed a few months since lbh stole sqq's body and everything is still very fresh. CQ mountain is a hot mess. Sqh frankly needs to lay down and take a nap. Lqg keeps figthing with Lbh practially every day and coming back beaten bloody, he has his king pestering him and a lot of paperwork to do, Lbh is a pain in the ass, Yqy is really close to snap and start a war with HHP, and he knows nothing about his bro. So yeah. Such a great time to be alive.

The mushroom bodies should had been ready, right? He must be alright...Yeah. He has enough already to keep him busy. Cucumber bro is gonna come out and stumble across at any moment. No one would bat an eye if he takes a nap, right? He deserves it. He is overworked enough for another lifetime, his head hurts, his bones hurt everywhere, a short nap should be fine...

Until he feels something small tugging his robes and a cold tiny finger poking his eyelids. But he doesn't want to. He is very comfortable on the floor of his office. Whatever bird decided to pick a fight with his face can keep trying.

"AIRPLANE, WAKE UP, YOU HACK! I NEED YOU TO FIX THIS! WHY IS A WITCH WITH ANACHRONISTIC HAUNTED DOLLS IN THIS NOVEL? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

That voice. That fucking annoying voice was of just one person and one person only. He opened his eyes, looking for the source of the unmistakable voice of his No1 hater, but he came across with a pretty porcelain doll. With a very ugly sneer in it's face.

"W-Wha-?...Bro-?!"

"Fucking finally! Why are you sleeping on the floor in your ofice?! I was looking around your bedroom like an idiot! Do you know how close I was to falling from your window?!"

-TBC-

[rivercloak]

so, you're telling me that big-time millionaire director christopher nolan knew löded diper but not one direction??? that's a win for music in my eyes

[introvertpluviophile]

Ryan Gosling’s improved lines vs what made the final cut 🤣

credits to owner: @mr.mcmuffinm4n (instagram)

[nelkcats]

Movie Problems

After enduring weeks of comments from his friends, Danny decided to watch Barbie, unlike Jason who was quite interested in Openhaimer, both met by chance in the middle of the movie theater after being informed that both movies would be delayed.

That was fine, until they walked into their respective theaters and the movies were switched, and shortly after they failed. The cinema manager couldn't help but chuckle as he looked at the boy dressed in pink next to the acclaimed Crime Lord of Gotham. He explained to them that both movies would be repeated one after the other, and that the failures were due to minions of the Joker ruining the projectors.

Danny, tired of wasting time, dragged the Crime Lord to see Barbie and promised to see Openhaimer with him later. Before entering the room he made sure to knock out the clown's goons, so Jason couldn't say anything as he was dragged away. At least the tickets were free after so many failures.

[darunyama]

Homelander in his yandere era

[libraryofgage]

Saw the Barbie movie the other day and Billie Eilish's "What Was I Made For" (click the song title to listen to it lol) hit so fuckin different good lord. Anyway, it's perfect for Steve angst with a dash of platonic Stobin and romantic Steddie fluff so ;)

---

Steve is five when he learns that he was made to keep his parents together. At least, that's why his mother made him.

He learns it one night when his father is staying late at the company (before his mother started accompanying him all the time, leaving an empty house and Steve behind; Steve can confidently say his presence did, in fact, fix their relationship: it gave them something to unite against). His mother is three large glasses of red wine in, draped inelegantly on the couch and slurring her words with a glassy film covering her eyes.

"Steven, you were supposed...supposed to make him stay," she says, her fourth glass of wine dangerously close to spilling across the white rug. "An-and he's still gone! What did we do wrong?"

Despite the use of "we," Steve knows very well (even at the age of five) that his mother means "What did you do wrong?" He doesn't have an answer for her--he never will--and that seems to be just one more thing she holds against him.

Steve is seven when he learns that he was made to keep the family name strong and respected. At least, that's why his father made him.

He learns it when his father brings him to work, his stern expression and tense shoulders telling Steve to behave himself, to be seen and not heard the entire day (he did, and it worked a little too well; after falling asleep on the couch, his father had forgotten him at work, leaving him to spend the night in the locked office). His father is sitting at his desk, expensive pen in hand and phone just hung up after a tense conversation that ended with the most genuine smile Steve has ever seen from him.

"Steven, I hope you've been paying attention today," he says, placing the pen on the desk and fixing him with a suffocating gaze. "You'll be working here one day, and I expect you to make something of yourself when you do. You're to be a model man, someone I can proudly introduce to others."

When his father says proudly, Steve knows he means that he can't do that now because Steve has yet to make something of himself. Steve nods once, says a firm but not too loud, "Yes, sir," and his father goes back to work.

Steve is sixteen when he learns Nancy made him her boyfriend for...for a distraction? Because it's what was expected of her? Because she was curious? At least, that's what Nancy seems to be saying.

Honestly, Steve isn't sure she knows, either. But she definitely knows that he wasn't what she wanted, that he wasn't what she expected, that he couldn't live up to the expectations she had made for him.

Either way, he learned it over the course of their relationship, but it all hit him at the very end, when fights and names (idiot, asshole, and dick, to list a few) compounded into a breakup that left him aching, angry, empty, hurt, and desperate to know what he did wrong.

Maybe then he'd be able to save himself from making the same mistake over and over. Because it must be him, right? It must be something he's doing; if only he could figure out what that is.

Steve is seventeen when he learns that maybe he was made to be a shield. At least, that's how he understands the plan Dustin comes up with wherein he calls Steve their tank.

He learns it when they're huddled together at some point, readying to face demodogs and whatever else the Upside Down has decided to throw at them. Dustin is explaining the plan, his eyes bright as he throws around terms Steve can't recognize. "And Steve is going to be our tank," he says.

"What's a tank?" Steve asks, at least certain they don't mean the military kind of tank.

"Like a meatshield, duh," Mike tells him, the explanation short and quick and then disregarded in favor of the rest of the plan.

Maybe Steve should have felt hurt, but part of him is more excited by the fact that he could do well as a tank, a meatshield. He could, in fact, be made for that role. He's great at taking a punch, great at jumping back to his feet, great at putting himself between the kids and whatever wants to kill them.

The only way he could possibly fail at being a shield is by dying, and he doesn't plan to die just yet.

Steve is eighteen when he wonders if maybe he's made to love. At least, that's a realization he has after befriending Robin, getting tortured together, and learning he doesn't need romance to love someone. It's a realization he throws himself into wholeheartedly one day when he looks at Robin and sees her trying to drink a slushie with a Twizzler.

"I think I love you," he blurts out, unable to hold the words in and feeling bad for it when Robin subsequently chokes on Twizzler and Cherry slush.

She spits out the slushie, tosses her Twizzler into the cup, and spins around to look at Steve. "We've definitely talked about this, dingus," she says, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. "You got amnesia or something?"

Steve rolls his eyes and pushes her. "Not like that. I mean, like, a friend. I love you, Robin. You mean a lot to me, and I hope we're still friends when we're 80 so we can make fun of other people in our nursing home."

Robin breaks out into a grin that she quickly suppresses. "Ugh, affection," she sneers, turning her nose up. It lasts all of three seconds before she glances at Steve from the corner of her eye and adds, "I love you, too, dingus."

Steve is nineteen when he decides that he's made for love, to give and receive and bask in its warmth. At least, that's what he decides when he's with Eddie, sprawled across his bed and listening to the mixtape he made for Steve.

They've been dancing around each other for a while up to that point: obnoxiously obvious flirtations, finding any excuse to brush against each other or share space or lean together, creating reasons to hang out with some as simple as "I'm just bored." Steve has been enjoying it; they both seem to understand what's inevitable, and they're just taking their time getting there.

And right now, listening to Eddie sing along to Metallica, Steve thinks that he wants to stop dancing around each other and dance together, instead. So, he turns onto his side, places a hand on Eddie's arm, waits until Eddie is looking at him with a bright smile and curious eyes, and says, "I was made for loving you."

Instead of the joy Steve was expecting, Eddie just looks confused. "How'd you know that was the next song?" he asks.

"What?"

"On the mix tape. I Was Made for Loving You by KISS. That's the next song," Eddie explains.

Steve blinks and frowns. He sits up, throws a leg over Eddie's hips, and settles on top of him. Eddie doesn't look surprised, since it's not the first time Steve has done this. Usually, it just means Steve wants him to pay close attention. "I didn't know it was the next song, Eds."

It takes a few moments for Eddie to fully understand what he means. And Steve gets a front-row seat to the confusion that morphs into understanding that morphs into amazement. "Oh," Eddie breathes, pushing himself up to rest on his elbows. "Could you say it again? I don't think I heard you the first time, Stevie."

Steve snorts but humors Eddie anyway. "I was made for loving you," he says, softer this time and leaning closer.

"Yeah, much clearer that time." Eddie's grin is wide and blinding before he closes the distance between them. "I was made for loving you, too, sweetheart," he whispers back, his words pressed against Steve's lips and searing into his heart.

[fcb-mv33]

Martin back on his “Max is an angry person” narrative🙃dude was calm as fuck in that interview and if he was pissed off he has every right to be?? He was on for 10 in a row?? Dude was literally so chill my god.

The narrative that Max is this angry person and driver is literally so shit because man literally is one of the nicest guys around, soft as fuck around his team and family. Yeah sure he has had his moments when he was a TEENAGER and in moments that have seriously mattered but never outside the car. Honestly it’s so infuriating to see how Sky Sports constantly want to damage his character to suit their own needs.

[moothemotherfucker]

HIS FACE STOP I’M SOBBING

[sanamustdie]

this barbie is a war criminal!!

[twistedappletree]

You cannot tell me that when Lan Sizhui improves his guqin language, he wouldn’t be out using inquiry every damn day to talk to spirits and make little ghost friends.

The minute that boy knows how to have full conversations via guqin, he’s gonna know every spirit in Gusu on a personal level and casually bring them up in conversation with the other juniors.

LJY: “These loquats are sooooo goooood!”

LSZ: “Right? Reminds me of A-Liu, he loves loquats”

LJY: “….Who the hell is A-Liu?”

LSZ: “Hm? Oh, he’s the spirit who likes to visit the cold springs.”

LJY: “The… the cold springs? How often is he there?”

LSZ: “Um, I don’t know? A lot? Whenever he wants to be there, I guess”

LJY: *panicked* “Was he there last night?!”

LSZ: “…..How would I kno—“

LJY: “WAS HE THERE LAST NIGHT? ASK HIM RIGHT NOW”

[aioliravioli-69]

Here you go!!

Silver in a pretty dress, that ISN'T her usual one!

Some of you may already know this, but I LOVE drawing frilly and poofy dresses! ESPECIALLY when they're moving!!!

I love the ways the folds rearrange themselves!!!

This first dress wasn't really inspired by some barbie doll dress, just a random redesign I guess??

I feel like the lineart isn't that visible though, but I'm too lazy to fix it lol

Aight, up next is a request!!

This dress was requested by @tea-132 and I thank them!!!

It's REALLY pretty and I would've missed out on it otherwise aqnd it was extremely fun to draw so thanks a lot :DD

here it is!!

And yes, before you ask, she will come in more poses I just need to figure them out and nothing seemed more fitting for this dress than the 'joyful-walk-with-a-new-skirt' pose!!

I will say that I totally put no effort into the design on the outer lace and ibis Paint was a giant help with the stars (I love you ibis, marry me <333)

I'm happy with how it turned out and be prepared to expect more dresses soon

I will draw them until y'all are drowning in them

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[smoozie]

Why is Scar Like That abt boat boys. What's going on in his head rn. The only person more obsessed with boat boys than boat boys themselves is Scar.

[awfullyadorable]

So I started an Etsy store. ♡ Kicking it off with these fun matching couples tees in anticipation of the new Barbie movie coming out this month!  🎀

[mayasaura]

can you elaborate on your tag meta on the socioeconomic indicators in the john backstory chapters in nona? and do you think john and G had a similar background having grown up together?

So John is a stingy ass motherfucker when it comes to definitive information, and he doesn't talk about his family or his childhood much, but what little he says when he does gives me the impression he grew up fairly poor. Probably in a community where being poor was normal.

The way John talks about his nana, it's clear he loved her in the way a child loves an adult they feel secure with. He spent a lot of time at her house as a kid, enough that playing there is one of his core memories. She may have even been his primary caretaker starting from the age of seven, because he sure never mentions having any other family. So it stands out to me that all he had to play with at her house was a box of his mother's old hand-me-downs. And while he knows it wasn't much, there's no resentment in his recollection. He didn't feel neglected.

John didn't expect to have toys of his own when he was a kid. What that says to me, as a kid who grew up on second-hand and hand-me-downs, is his family didn't buy much of anything new. It being so normal to him is also why I think he grew up in a poorer neighbourhood. Hand-me-downs are only embarrassing if you're the only one who has them.

Then there's how Nana died. Pneumonia, when John was still a teenager. Not a lot of rich people out there who die of lung infections before their grandchildren are grown.

And yeah, I do think G— had a similar background! He and John grew up on the same street, and he was (also?) raised by his grandparents. John's totally joking when he says spotting G— for mince pies when they were kids meant that of course G— would let him cut off his arm, but it's the kind of joke with subtext. Like sharing food was a big deal when they were kids. Reminds me of our Gideon being forever fond of Camilla for sharing her leftovers, and the intense barter between the children of New Rho over the lunch fruits. The childhood food insecurity of it all.

[jmoonjones]

🩷

I stand by each costume decision.