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local-spoon-does-a-thing · 4 years

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Stress

[(Platonic) TFP! Optimus Prime x Reader]

A/N: So this was just a little vent fic I needed to do since school is going to start up tomorrow and I am not ready for it. Sorry if it's bad, but then again, it's a vent fic. Also I finally decided to watch Transformers Prime and I really like it.

Ah yes, it was back to school day. Winter break had unfortunately passed by way too quickly for anyone’s liking, but what else could they do? For you, the first day was always so dreadful. At least you only have one more year left before you enter college. Until then, you were stuck with kids you didn’t want to be around, dreadful school lunch, and assignment anxiety. Luckily, you got to go to school with Jack and Miko. You never really knew them at first but after getting caught up in an incident between the Decepticons and Autobots, you got to meet Raf and soon, your bonds with them grew (the Fearsome Foursome as Miko would call you guys).

It was your last period before school ended. You were absolutely waiting for the moment when you got to ride with Optimus, as he was your guardian. Sure, he was a busy ‘Bot, but he always managed to make time with you. You stared out the window at the driveway, feeling excited with which shenanigan was going to take place today. But you were suddenly pulled out of your thoughts when you hear your name get called by the teacher.

“[Y/N], do you have your assignment?” The teacher questioned as she had a stack of papers resting in her arms. Oh, son of a- you’ve forgotten to do your assignment throughout the break since you were too caught up in having fun with your friends. Then again, who the hell assigns homework on winter break? It’s called a break for a reason. Twiddling your thumbs guiltily, you shook your head no and swallowed a lump in your throat. Please don’t get detention, please don’t get detention, please-

“[Y/N] you had all of winter break to finish your assignment. You’re a 12th grader, please be more responsible. You have detention after class.” She said as she went to her desk and put the sheets of paper down. You could feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment as you heard the teacher resume the class and lesson. Oh great, you lost homework credit and got detention. That assignment had 50 points and it went down the drain! Welp, guess it was time to say goodbye to your grade. You felt a cloud of pessimism shadow over your head as you did your best to pay attention to what was on the whiteboard. Time slowly passed by and finally, the school bell rang. As the students rushed out of the classroom, you slowly made your way out of the room as well and instead of walking out of school, you walked to the detention room. You gave a quick message to Jack to tell the others that you were in detention. Once the text had been sent, you entered the detention classroom and sat all the way in the back row, next to the big window.

For some reason, time seemed to drag on even more slowly. There were a few students in the room, but they were either asleep or doing their homework. You might as well do your homework as well since there was nothing else to do. As you fetched your utensils and the sheet of work, in the corner of your eye you saw a blue and red semi-truck waiting on the driveway. You couldn’t tell, but you could feel the old leader’s gaze resting on you through the window. You prayed with all your might to not get lectured tonight since you weren’t in the mood for it. You know that he means well, but it was still irritating. Clicking your pen, you looked back down at your paper and tried to solve an equation. Unfortunately, with the heavy gaze still on you and the worry of his lecture and disappointment, you got little to nothing done on your work.

Once you were able to leave, you packed all of your stuff and quickly left the building, soon making your way towards the semi-truck. You kept your eyes on the ground as the door flung open and you entered the passengers side. As soon as the door slammed shut, the engine came to life and you two made your way back to the base. The ride was pretty quiet as your hands rested on your lap. You refused to look away from your lap and continued to brace yourself for the lecture.

“[Y/N]...” Ah, there it was. After a moment passed by, you looked up at the radio and waited for him to continue. “Jack told me that you had detention. Care to explain why?”

Ah scrap, here we go again. You sunk into your seat and crossed your arms before answering his question. “Um, I forgot to do my assignment. That’s it, I swear.”

You could hear a faint sigh coming from his radio, though you couldn’t tell if it was a sigh of relief or a sigh of disappointment. No other words were exchanged as the ride continued on. After some more time passed by, you two were back at the base. You grabbed your backpack and got out as Optimus transformed out of his vehicle mode. You looked up at him as he looked down at you, his expression unreadable. You then went on to make your way towards the couch upstairs, but you were stopped once you heard Optimus’ voice once again.

“[Y/N], please take caution on when your assignments are due. I worry that you won’t be able to graduate at this rate.”

There wasn’t much to say at that statement. You just gave him another guilty look and nod before continuing to make your way towards the couch. You could hear Miko tease about you getting attention while Jack told her off. Raf offered help for your homework, but you politely declined. As the trio went down to hang out with the other bots, you stayed at the couch and twirled the pen in between your fingers as you tried to complete your homework. Okay, maybe you did need help. Though, it was too late to ask for any just as you went on to decline it. Your pride got in your way once more. Plus, Raf was having fun with the others and you didn’t want to spoil that. The dark cloud that loomed over your head had yet to disappear but instead, it continued to grow as each second passed by. You furrowed your eyebrows and glared intensely at the equation you were stuck on. If it were possible, there would’ve been a hole going straight through your homework as your stare was that intense. For some goddamn reason, you couldn’t concentrate on anything. Your mind and thoughts kept jumping from the time you got detention to the time you had your ride with Optimus. It was honestly very frustrating and you could blow up with anger at any given second. The sounds of the ‘Bots and your friends having fun at the other side of base didn’t help you either.

Eventually, you tossed the pen on the table and leaned back into the couch. You stared up at the ceiling above you and let out a deep sigh. Ratchet took notice of your sigh and took a brief moment to look at you. You looked utterly exhausted while your eyebrows were still knitted together. The medic raised an optic and questioned you.

“Is there something wrong, [Y/N]? You look like you’re about to fall apart at any second.”

Lazily, you moved your head to the side and looked at him. By now, you were too tired to even give him a weak, reassuring smile. You just had to hope that Ratchet trusted your word. “No worries, everything is under control.” He didn’t believe you.

“Doesn’t look like it. Are you having problems with your homework? Optimus told me about what happened earlier.”

Of course he would know. You were embarrassed once more and looked back up at the ceiling. You sighed once more and nodded your head, telling him that you were having problems. Ratchet let out a small hum and called for Raf. After you heard the mention of the little boy’s name, your body snapped straight up and you looked at Ratchet with panic. Before you could protest, Raf was with you. You meant no ill intent or offense towards the boy, but you couldn’t believe that you were getting help from a 12 year old.

“[Y/N] needs help with their homework.” Ratchet simply says before going back to work.

Raf nods and sits down next to you. “So, what do you need help with?”

Grabbing the sheet of paper in front of you, you showed him what you needed help on. You then stop him before you could begin solving the equation. “It’s not that I don’t know how to solve it. It’s just...it’s kinda hard to concentrate, y’know? I think I’m having one of those days.”

And Raf did understand. Everyone had one of those days where they couldn’t focus. But that didn’t make you stupid. All you wanted to do was spend time with the others, especially Optimus since one, he was your guardian. And two, Decepticon activity has been exceptionally high lately and even though he picks you up from school almost every single day, you still wanted to be with him.

“I understand, but maybe you should take a break before getting back to work. It helps a lot.” Raf suggested but you politely declined. You explained how you wanted to just get everything over with so you could hang out with the others as soon as possible. He wanted to insist, yet he respected your decision. As some time went on, you still couldn’t focus on what was happening. The young boy continued to try to explain to you the equation, but in the end you gave up. Optimus had just finished his duties and returned to the base. He laid his optics upon you and made his way towards you. Now, he could fully see the frustration and irritation written on your face as you aggressively clicked your pen.

“Is something the matter, [Y/N]?” The old Bot asked.

“[Y/N]’s having a hard time concentrating. We haven’t even finished a single problem yet.” Raf answered for you.

“Hmm, I see. [Y/N], get ready. We’re going for a drive.”

You stopped clicking your pen and looked over to Optimus, who was already in his vehicle form. Your shoulders dropped and you tossed the pen back on the table before standing up and stretching your body. You then looked back at the young boy and gave a weak but kind smile. “I’ll be back soon. Just make sure Miko doesn’t spill anything on my homework.” You tell him before waving and making your way back down.

Once you entered the vehicle, he drove his way out of the base and went outside. It was starting to become night time and there was a lovely sunset on the horizon. The gloomy cloud that was now a storm started to drift away from your head and you could feel yourself relax. It was quiet, but you liked it. One of the many things you could appreciate from Optimus was that you two would just have comfortable silences together and you loved it. You tapped on the window and signalled for him to roll it down and once he did, you stuck your head out and rested your chin on top of the door. The breeze nicely hit your face and ran through your hair. Everything was instantly better now. It was quiet for a while, but Optimus finally decided to talk to you after seeing how relaxed you are now.

“It seems that you are calm now. I’m glad that I could be of some use.” He chuckled. “Is there anything on your mind? Anything you want to...vent, as you call it?”

It took a moment for you to reply. You were contemplating on whether to tell him or not. You didn’t want to bring him down with your problems yet then again, you could really vent out right now. And so you did.

“I- um, I don’t know why, but it’s just so difficult for me to focus. I can’t focus in class, on my homework, and I couldn’t even finish a single problem. I’m always so forgetful and even when I set up reminders on my phone and what not, I always forget. I don’t get or understand why. Is there something wrong with me? Am I just dumb?”

At this question, Optimus slowed down and came to a full stop. Thankfully, the two of you were in the middle of nowhere. If he could, he would place you on his shoulder while stargaze under the night sky. Unfortunately, he would be at risk of getting his cover blown.

“You are not dumb. Having trouble focusing or remembering does not make you dumb. But if you truly feel that there is something wrong with you, I highly recommend that you either see Ratchet or another professional. Just know that the Autobots and the other children will be here to support you. I know that things may seem tough right now, but you must trudge through. Things will get better soon, I promise you.”

Just like that, your worries melted away. Optimus has never broken a promise and he doesn’t plan on breaking one any time soon. You know that you can trust him and you’ve taken every one of his words to heart. Nothing else needed to be said as a relieved smile entered your face. You leaned back into the seat and rested the temple of your head against the door before shutting your eyes.

“Thank you, Optimus. Thank you for being here for me.”

“Always, [Y/N].”

#transformers prime #transformers prime x reader #tfp #tfp x reader #optimus prime #bumblebee #arcee #bulkhead #ratchet #miko #jack #raf #reader

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votederpycausemufins · 3 years

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It’s a little shorter than the previous chapters, but it’s got some important stuff going on. But things still aren’t going to go well for a bit. in fact, after this chapter, we’re just going to focus on the bots. Maaaybe also Tommy

@petrichormeraki

There was a sigh as the winged figure sat down on a ledge. “I thought I told you I go by Death.”

“Or Dadza.” Grifter spoke up, getting a glare from his dad.

“You do realize I’ve disowned you, right?” Death asked, a bored look on his face.

“Pfft.” Grifter started before making his bedrock prison swing. “That doesn’t stop you from visiting when I call you again and again and again!”

“Because it gets annoying.” Death rolled his eyes before looking at who called him. “Speaking of which, why were you calling?”

“Well first off, that is the worst thing to repeat, why is it so fucking long? Second, can you get me out of here?!”

Death tilted his head from side to side in contemplation. “I dunno. Whole reason you’re in here is because Theseus asked me to, and he’s the one son I still respect.”

“Isn’t Wile still living with you?” Grifter piped up.

“Yes, he is. And while I don’t respect him, he’s still better than you.”

Grifter pouted. “That’s not fair. I’m better than that pussy.”

“Can we go back to the fact that I’m stuck in here because my evil copy wanted me here?!” Tommy shouted to get the attention of the others there. “Why the fuck did he want that?”

Death shrugged. “Well, seeing as how he’s not even in this dimension anymore, I’m guessing it’s so you couldn’t stop him leaving from Hels.”

“Wait, so the others don’t even know I’m missing?!” Tommy struggled, trying to find a way to even possibly escape his current prison, but had no luck. “Phil please can you let me out?!”

Death moved to sit on top of Grifter’s bedrock casket. “You know, normally I would have already. Theseus just wanted you in here long enough for him to leave. The thing is, I’m pretty sure you’d also let Grifter out, and I’d really rather keep him in here.”

“Oh come on Dadza, I’m not going to try and kill you. Remember, I’m a Listener now. That’s all the power I need. It’s just not quite enough to let me out of here since it was made to deal with those powers.” Grifter shifted to try and get a better look up at Death, but had little luck. “I’ll leave you and Wile alone, especially because if I killed you, then I’d probably end up as Death and then I’ll have to leave Sense alone.”

“Right… you did finally find someone, didn’t you?”

“Yes. And I promise I’ll behave.” Grifter spoke in the sweetest voice he could muster.

Death was silent before flying back over to Tommy and breaking the lock in it, letting the bedrock casing open and causing Tommy to fall to the ground below. “Hey! I’m on half a heart now!”

“Hmm, thought that would kill you. Well, if you let Grifter out, I’m fine with that.”

Chains rattled as Grifter shook his prison. “Wait you’re not just letting me out?”

“No. Leaving it up to him.” Death pointed down to Tommy, and then a moment later he was gone.

“Uh, so are you, um… planning to help with that?”

“I’d rather not, but I don’t have a fucking clue how to leave, and I’m guessing this Listener thing is like Big G being a Watcher.”

“It’s the counterpart in this dimension.”

“Got it.” Tommy nodded. “Well I’m pretty much stuck in this world if I don’t help you, so I guess I have to. But that means you have to help me out since I can get you out and know where Sense is.”

“Of course.”

Tommy looked around and was glad to find there was an area that was easy to exit, but it was five blocks up. The walls were also obsidian, so it would take forever to mine up there with his hands since he had nothing in his inventory. “Uh, slight problem…”

“I’ll summon you some blocks or some shit you can use.” Grifter replied, and a moment later there was what sounded almost like a lightning strike and then a few blocks rained from above.

“What the fuck was that?!”

“I get killed every time I use any of my powers. Normally I only do it when I’m really bored, but if we can use it to get out, it seems like a good idea to me.”

Tommy wasn’t sure how to react to that, so he just used the blocks of glazed terracotta - why that block, he wasn’t sure - to build up to the glass of what seemed to be a viewing area. He broke the glass and slid through into the room and started rifling through it. It was mainly bare, but there were a few random items here and there. Also a painting. It wasn’t big enough for anyone to go through, so at first Tommy assumed decoration, but then he looked behind it and found a chest.

“Found the keys!”

“Do you need more blocks?”

“Nah, you gave me enough and I can tear up the stuff in here if I need more.”

“What do you mean Phil’s your grandpa too?”

“I mean that he’s the dad of one of my dads and so he’s my grandpa! And since that’s the same for Grum, Phil’s also his grandpa.”

“Did Techno have a kid?!”

“No. At least I don’t think so. Grum said there were only three of us. Wait does that mean NPG doesn’t count? Maybe because he’s in Hels or something?”

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about. But if you’re not- Did Tommy somehow build you before he died?!”

“What? No! He didn’t build us, and he’s not dead either.” Jrum crossed his arms. “Our dad is Grian!”

“Iskall’s friend?!”

Jrum lit up. “You know Auncle Iskall?”

“Yeah, I kinda hacked into his comm a few months ago and we somehow became friends from it. How does Grian being your dad make you related to me?!”

“I said because his dad is Phil!”

“Then why have I never heard of him?!”

“‘Cause he sort of went missing for a bunch of years. We only found out like uhhh… how many days ago?” Jrum paused to look at his current statistics for the world. “We’ve been here almost a week?!”

“How did you not know that?”

“I don’t know! I thought it’s been two days!” Jrum said, slightly panicking as Fundy pulled out his normal comm and started scrolling up.

“Yeah, it says you two joined six days ago.”

“But that’s not possible! The only time that could have happened is-” Jrum paused. The only time both of them had been off for an extended period of time was when we lost power. And that was when we were with… Mister Sam… Is… did he lie to us?” Jrum looked up at Fundy with sad eyes.

“Well… I…” Fundy wasn’t sure what to tell Jrum, and before he could say much else, the bot was hugging onto his legs with a hug.

“We’ve… also been stuck here that long. Did… is no one trying to help us? Can we not go home?”

Fundy winced, remembering what he had been told earlier as he pulled out the comm Dream had given him. If he said anything more, he might not get another chance, but at the same time, his call with Iskall had probably lasted long enough. “No. They’re trying to get you guys. I was just calling Iskall not too long ago. Apparently your parents are freaking out trying to find you guys. You’re honestly pretty lucky they are.”

Jrum looked at the device and carefully took it from Fundy’s outstretched paw. He looked it over before handing it back, no matter how much he wanted to keep it. “D-Dad and Tommy were really upset at Grandpa and the others. They weren’t really nice to Tommy, so I guess they weren’t nice to you either.”

Fundy shook his head, which made Jrum hug him more. “Well, we can help Grum… a-and then the three of us can try to find a way to Hermitcraft!”

The hybrid smiled slightly then nodded. “Sure, why not. Sounds like it could be fun.” And he turned back to look at Grum.

Just as he did, a window that had been open on Grum’s screen closed. Because of that, neither he nor Jrumbot saw the open application that showed a video feed of the two of them and the blinking red dot in the corner to signify it being recorded. Nor did they see the other flashing symbol that changed between two images. A smile, and a broken portal.

“I don’t understand why he hasn’t shown up yet.” Xannes grumbled and NPG patted his back.

“Aww, don’t worry. I’m sure he’s just a little busy. They are currently going through a little crisis With Grum and Jrum missing.”

“They’re just machines, who cares if they’re gone?”

NPG ignored the way that comment hurt. “You know how much hermits care about others. They even care for you after you’ve tried to destroy the place. As far as they’re concerned, those two are real people. They’re not abandoning them.”

Xannes crossed his arms. “It seems stupid.”

NPG didn’t respond and instead fiddled with some wood blocks in his inventory. He already built them this rustic house and they didn’t need another. If they were back in Helscraft maybe, but things tended to be more down to earth here as far as he knew.

They were quiet a bit longer, just sitting as Xannes stared out at the land ahead. NPG slowly stepped closer before sitting down on the ground next to the hels admin’s chair and pulling out some wool yarn from his inventory. “Here… I brought some along. I don’t have needles though.”

Xannes rolled his eyes and huffled before turning away from NPG, but his hand did come back and grab the yarn before pulling out some spare knitting needles he kept on him.

“Um, did you hear that they can’t get into the world they want to get into because they’re blacklisted?” The robot asked as Xannes started to knit.

“All of them? That’s a little surprising. Have they tested all the hermits?”

“Uh…” NPG pulled out a communicator and typed something into it, waiting a minute before a response came in. “Not yet, but so far no one can get in.”

“Well, guess now they can know how it feels to be banned from a world.”

NPG frowned before scolding his friend. “That’s not a good thing to say! I mean, haven’t you been happy visiting here? They could have said no, but your brother let you in anyway. And you only got that chance because of one of the people that are stuck in a universe they can’t get to.”

Xannes sighed, but didn’t say anything else, just knitting in a way that NPG recognized. The admin tended to knit in slightly different patterns or rhythms based on his emotions. Right now it wasn’t quite sad, but it was at least a little melancholic. So not wanting to make it worse, NPG just sat next to his friend quietly.

When a certain person clad in pink finally arrived, NPG excused himself to let him and Xannes hang out. The robot found a different room of the rustic house and sort of sulked around. It didn’t take long before he was bored of sulking and found paper to sketch rustic houses on, but he ended up crumpling them up and throwing them away. He didn’t even feel like making rustic houses right now. So instead, he ended up just lying down on the ground and staring at the ceiling.

Eventually, time passed by, NPG wasn’t sure how long, but he only really realized that time had passed at all because Xannes was suddenly standing next to him and looking down. “Have you been here the whole time?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re really upset about this, aren’t you?”

NPG didn’t answer at first, but eventually looked away before speaking up. “Yeah… they are kinda family and all.”

There was a very long sigh from Xannes. “Okay, what’s the world called again?”

NPG’s head snapped around to look at Xannes. “Wait, what do you mean?”

“I mean, obviously the people banned are from Hermitcraft or related to those kids. I’m sure you’re included in one of those, but I’m neither. I’m not family and I’m not from Hermitcraft. Plus my hacking should help out distracting anyone that could give me trouble.”

NPG jumped up to his feet and hugged Xannes. “Thank you! This is so nice of you!”

“Ugh, stop hugging me before I change my mind and contact whoever should no before I try it just in case something goes wrong and I actually need help for some fucking reason.”

“Okay, got it.” And NPG sent a message, giving a thumbs up a few moments later. Xannes nodded back and then pressed a button on his helmet and cracked his knuckles. He checked a few info panels, changing some commands to work for this new world instead of Hermitcraft, then he initiated his teleport.

EvilXisuma joined the world

In all the commotion, Theseus stepped away from the group, taking a stolen ender pearl in his hand and chucking it as far as he could. Even then, he still tried to get more distance to make sure he was really alone and far enough from Philza. Finally, he reached a clearing and checked it over to make sure no one was around. He even double checked before finally going to the center of the clearing and speaking into the air. “I call the goddess of death.”

Immediately, a brisk breeze blew through the nearby trees, cooling the surrounding area. Theseus tried his best not to shiver and just stood still, waiting for the wind to calm before turning around. Standing there was someone who looked like his mom, but dressed in his dad’s clothes. “Mumza.”

“Hello Tommy. It looks like Phil finally told you about me.”

“More or less. Figured some of it out on my own, but he did tell me the last part I needed to know.”

“How have you been? It’s been so long since I’ve seen you last.”

“Been around. Been busy. Shit like that, y’know.” Theseus was glad that she wasn’t around for his other self. It would make it easier to lie.

“I’m assuming you don’t just want to talk?”

“Well, apparently I have nephews and they got kidnapped and are stuck in the server Phil, Techno and I were in. None of them can get back in, but I was thinking maybe I could. Unfortunately none of them will let me try to help.”

He was given a soft, kind smile. “I’m glad you want to help. I can see why Phil would want to be a little protective, but I can help you.”

He nodded and took the hand the goddess held out to him.

TheseusMC joined the world

EvilXisuma joined the world

Error with processing. Virus found. Attempting recovering. Recovery failed; Too many resources being used. Finding unnecessary memory usage. Found. Disable communicator direct connection. Disabled.

Files being accessed. Restricted files attempting access. Restricted files require password access. Please input password. Password inputted. Checking password. Password accepted.

Activation phrase number 652 used. Activating camera. Beginning recording. Recording. Recording. Recording. Closing program. Sending recording. Sending. Recording sent to user level Admin.

Blacklist check. Attempting Entry: TangoTek. Assigned roles: Hermittown member, Acknowledged associate family, Team ZIT member, Operator. Banned roles: Hermittown member. Acknowledged associate family. Continue blacklist.

Blacklist check activated. Increase displacement by 1.5%. Displacing. Displacement complete. Displacement at 39.5% total.

Opening files at request. Warning, files missing data. Names of referenced files changed. Please update file names. Warning, Error with processing. Virus found. Shutting down.

#hermit!tommy au #hermit!tommy #tommyinnit #hels!grian #hels!Philza #jrumbot #grumbot #itsfundy #The Watchers #npg #npc grian #evil xisuma #worm man #hels!tommy #mumza

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angelsunflowers-fanfics · 4 years

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Tadashi Hamada x Hacker!reader (A Hacker’s help)

Request: yeahhhhhh!!🎉 can i request a Tadashi Hamada x reader(gender neutral pls?) where the reader is a hacker and a bit younger than Tadashi(like 2 or 3 years)?THANK U SO MUCH!!😭

Fandom: Big hero 6

Genre: Fluff

Linktree

~~~~

Tadashi ran a hand over his face in frustration, staring at his parked moped, trying to piece together a plan to find his little brother, Hiro.

“Tadashi? Is everything alright?” He slowly picked his head up as he heard the voice of Honey Lemon behind him. Should he bother the chemist with his predicament?

“Hiro’s missing, he’s out bot fighting. I have no idea where he could be. What do I do?” Tadashi confessed.

The tall blonde slowly approached Tadashi, carefully placing a hand on one of his shoulders.

“I know someone that could help. In the computer tech department? Does that help at all?”

Tadashi slowly turned around and started toward the entrance, Honey Lemon led him to the said department.

“Who’s gonna help me? And how exactly?”

Honey Lemon smiled to herself, knowing full well of the huge crush that Tadashi had on her secret helper.

“(y/n), they’re a hacker. They should be able to help us. You know them, right? Honestly, I’m kinda surprised, them being a few years younger than you and all,” Honey Lemon explained.

The blood instantly rushed to Tadashi’s ears and cheeks. He thought he was being discreet with all that staring, nothing gets past Honey Lemon.

“Um, kinda?”

She opened the door to the lab, nobody was there except for (y/n), typing an endless code onto their computer. They acknowledged a presence as Honey Lemon stepped into the large lab, her heels gave away her position immediately.

“Hey, Honey Lemon. I’ll be with you in a minute, I’m just updating my program,” (y/n) spoke without looking up. Tadashi stepped in beside Honey Lemon, watching (y/n) type for another minute before spinning on their chair to face the two. “What did you need this time?”

Honey Lemon instantly got a huge smile onto her face before she pushed Tadashi closer to the hacker.

“Actually, Tadashi has a request for you,” Honey Lemon said.

(y/n) raised an eyebrow and stared at Tadashi, marveling at the amount of red on his face.

“I-I need to track my little brother’s phone because he went to another bot fight…” (y/n) nodded lightly, beckoning him closer.

“Don’t worry, that’s an easy one. Can you give me Hiro’s number?” (y/n) asked.

Tadashi sat next to (y/n), ready to recite the number.

“(Hiro’s number), will this take long? I don’t know what kind of trouble he could be in by now,” Tadashi worried.

(y/n) turned to the monitor, typing in the number they were given by Tadashi.

“Okay, got him. He’s in the south side of town, about 10 miles from here. Is that all you need, Tadashi?” The tech student swallowed nervously, Honey Lemon and (y/n) stared at him intensely. The way they said his name was--

“I-” Honey Lemon stepped forward, placing a hand on one of Tadashi’s shoulders.

“--Actually, Tadashi was wondering if you wanted to come with him. You’re all done here aren’t you?”

Tadashi stared at Honey Lemon in shock, wondering what she was doing. (y/n) took a small peak at her monitor before shutting it down.

“Sure, I’m done, it’s late, and I’m bored… So, why not?” (y/n) reassured.

Tadashi stood still for a few moments, not saying anything until Honey Lemon took a step backward.

“Okay, I have some things of my own to-do. You two have fun!” Honey Lemon yelled out.

Tadashi looked after his friend, not knowing that he was going to be left alone with his crush for an unknown amount of time. Honey Lemon quickly left the lab before Tadashi could call her back in or stop her.

(y/n) grabbed their bag and slung it over their shoulders before they looked at Tadashi expectantly.

“Okay, I’m ready. You coming, or should I just hot wire your bike myself?” His face flared up even more at the statement, if possible. He quickly shot himself out of his chair, keys in hand.

“Y-yeah. Come on,” He cleared his throat, not wanting to look so frazzled in front of someone he liked.

“Does this kind of thing happen often?” (y/n) asked, curious.

Tadashi groaned, climbing onto his moped before urging (y/n) to do the same.

“More than I would like,” Tadashi groaned.

Tadashi felt his heart flutter and flip as (y/n) hesitantly wrapped their arms around his middle, not quite sure how to hold on to him.

“Is this okay? I’ve never ridden something like this before,” (y/n) asked nervously.

Tadashi smiled slightly, noting the flustered tone in their voice. He slowly grabbed their hands, locking them into place with each other and tightening their loose grip around his torso.

“Are you okay? You need to be tight against me or else you might go flying off,” Tadashi asked.

Tadashi felt his heart melt as (y/n) slid themself closer to Tadashi to not fly off as he instructed. He started the moped and followed (y/n) directions on the road.

“So why did you ask me to come along? We don’t really talk outside of the school,” (y/n) asked.

The 18-year-old tried to come up with a plausible explanation, “I don’t know, I guess I’ve just been trying to come up with an excuse to talk to you. You’re really intelligent and pretty, and just amazing.”

The younger student didn’t know what to say, they glanced to the side at all the buildings passing by, all the lights and beautiful colors.

“Take another right, my phone says your brother should be here,” (y/n) instructed.

Tadashi glanced away from (y/N) to see Hiro running away from some shady looking people.

“Hiro!”

The younger Hamada jumped onto his brother’s moped, no questions asked. Tadashi rushed away from the scene of the crime, (y/n) gripped onto his waist and Hiro to (y/n)’s shoulders; neither wanting to fly off.

“Hey, (y/n). What are you two doing here?” Hiro directed to (y/n).

(y/n) gave him a small shrug, talking to Hiro instead of Tadashi.

“Your brother asked me to come. Hey, did you understand number 5 for the programming assignment?” (y/n) asked in reply.

“Oh, that one took me a while. I can--” Tadashi took a sharp left turn before appearing in front of the lucky cat café.

“Would you two zip it?! Okay, we’re here,” Tadashi yelled.

Hiro jumped off with ease, as did Tadashi. But (y/n) almost fell over, but the eldest Hamada caught them luckily.

“Sorry,” They mumbled. He smiled lightly and helped them steady their footing on the ground.

“Jelly legs?” Tadashi teased.

(y/n) only nodded before they took off the helmet, their hair going everywhere. Tadashi stifled a laugh before pulling off his own helmet. Hiro went inside, not wanting to get lectured by his older brother.

“Is it that bad?” They asked.

Tadashi set both helmets to the side before he placed his hands on their head, smoothing their hair back to normal.

“Just a bit,” Tadashi answered, laughing to himself.

(y/n) turned away from the Lucky cat café, knowing how late it was and that they should head home. Rain slowly started to fall from the sky, drenching (y/n) as they were outside the cover of the bakery.

“You wanna come in for a bit? Just until the rain stops? And maybe warm you up?” Tadashi offered.

(y/n) wiped the excess water from their skin and smiled up at Tadashi.

“I’d like that.”

#tadashi hamada x reader #Big Hero 6 x reader #Disney x reader #Tadashi Hamada imagine #Big Hero 6 imagine #Disney imagine #Tadashi Hamada fanfiction #Big hero 6 fanfiction #Disney fanfiction #fanfiction #x reader #self insert #Tadashi Hamada #Hiro Hamada #Honey Lemon

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sorry-apsalar · 4 years

Text

I Kissed a Bot and I Liked It

I started watching Futurama recently on a whim (currently only a few episodes into season 4 so if things aren't consistent with stuff that happens later in the series, that's why) and I'm really enjoying it so far except for a few things. Mainly the compulsory heteronormativity that's present in every episode (that I've seen so far) that deals with romantic relationships (with sort of one exception but it doesn't really count in my opinion). Which is mostly whatever, it's to be expected, especially since it's an older show but the Fry/Leela stuff is frustrating because personally I feel like they don't have good romantic chemistry (I'm open to this changing later but I doubt it will) and this is just another case of 'there's a male main character and a female main character and they're friends, therefore they must have romantic feelings for each other' that I've seen a hundred times before. It's aggravating enough that it spurred a fic idea for an AU where Fry is a repressed gay man. I decided to make it an Xmas gift for myself for reasons and because why not?

So Merry Xmas everyone, especially me!

The future was great. Everything about it was grand and exciting and Fry had friends now. Yeah, sure he was still a delivery boy but he was delivering a variety of things across space alongside his friends. And yeah, sure his living area was smaller than he would’ve chosen and it was technically a closet but he was roommates with his best friend and despite being a closet, it was still a little bigger than his old apartment had been. So, the future was great in every possible way even if parts of it made little to no sense.

Luckily, he had friends so some of those things that made no sense, he could ask about and have explained to him. Sometimes they didn’t even make fun of him for not knowing. There was one thing though that he was afraid to ask about. What exactly made it a scary thing to ask about he wasn’t sure of but it wasn’t because he worried they’d think him stupid because everyone already thought that and honestly it was true, brains weren’t his thing. The more often it popped up though, the more he wanted an explanation. He finally reaching a breaking point on that one evening when watching TV with Bender after returning home from work.

In an episode of All My Circuits two of the side characters ended up hooking up. Which wasn’t weird in itself, it was a soap opera, everyone was pairing up and breaking up all the time, but what was odd was the fact that it was two dudes. It was far from the first time Fry had seen such things in the past month or so he’d been here for, in other shows, movies, and even in prior episodes, same-sex couples popped up fairly frequently and if there was ever any issue with the couple, that was never one of them. So…

“Hey Bender,” he said as the credits for the episode rolled, glancing over at Bender sitting on the couch next to him, “those two robots that got together at the end there are both uh… men, right?”

The look Bender gave him reflected how stupid of a question that was. But how else was he supposed to broach the topic? He wasn’t good with words. “Man-bots yes, what else would they be?” Bender replied, sounding annoyed as he looked.

“Well uh… I don’t know but…” Unable to maintain eye contact, Fry looked away, instead focusing his gaze on one of the many crumbled cans of Slurm on the floor by the coffee table. He shouldn’t have brought this up because it was… uh… awkward or something. But it was too late now and he needed to understand because he just did. “If they’re both man-bots then why are they a couple?” And why wasn’t that viewed as remarkable by anyone else? “Isn’t that a thing normally only men and women are supposed to do?”

“Wow Fry, of all people I didn’t expect you to be homophobic.”

“What?” Fry snapped his gaze back to look at Bender. “I’m not… whatever you just said, I don’t even know what that means.” Which meant it could describe him but the context made it sound bad so it wasn’t him… probably. ‘Phobic’ meant fear, right? What did ‘homo’ mean though?

“It means you hate gay people,” Bender said as he pulled another cigar out of his casing. “Though I suppose that was common back when you came from now that I think about it.” After lighting up, he blew a cloud of smoke in Fry’s general direction. “I forget how primitive you are sometimes. That’s fine though, I hate humans so we both harbor hatred for an entire group of people. Though my hatred’s justified while yours isn’t.”

Fry coughed, waving a hand in front of his face to clear the smoke. “I don’t hate gay people.” He never had even if that’s what he’d been lowkey taught at the church he’d been forced to go to as a kid and young teen. “I just… it’s supposed to be a sin, right? Like… you go to hell forever if you chose to be gay. Though… I guess I don’t really believe in God anymore so… I don’t know. But still… that’s normal now? Or uh… or least acceptable? To choose to be gay, I mean?”

The look Bender gave him this time might’ve been a concerned one if it had come from almost anyone else. “You don’t ‘choose’ to be gay. Did you meatbags really used to believe it was a choice?”

“Uh… that’s what I was always taught. Or that like… gay people are confused and think that being able to recognize that another man is attractive means you’re attracted to him.” And that that was wrong and shameful and should never be admitted to once one was cleared of that misunderstanding. Because marriage and love and all that was supposed to be between a man and a woman for the sole purpose of making babies or whatever. The fact that that viewpoint was no longer common a thousand years later wasn’t surprising now that he really thought about it but somehow it seemed significant.

Bender took another puff from his cigar before replying. “Well, it ain’t a choice. Now shut up, the next episode’s starting.”

Fry sighed as he pulled his legs up onto the couch to hug to his chest as he turned his attention back on the TV. But now that the topic had been brought up, he didn’t seem able to fully focus. The fact that the episode dealt with the gay romance and treated it like every other side romance in the show made it even harder not to think about. Not that there was even a whole lot to think about, just that that kind of thing was socially acceptable now. Which was… a good thing, yes, definitely a good thing. It didn’t affect him any of course, he was attracted to women and only women, but it was good for the people it did affect. …

“What about robots?” he eventually asked.

“What about them?” Bender didn’t even look away from the TV.

“Is it a choice for you? Or are you manufactured that way? And if so is it a choice whatever or whoever is making you makes or is it like random or something?”

“Oh, you’re still thinking about that, huh? That kind of thing develops at the same time as our personality so it’s not a choice anyone makes. It’s complex stuff, you wouldn’t understand.”

That was undoubtedly true but before Fry could drop it, he wanted to know one more thing. … “What about you? Are you uh… you know?”

With the start of the ad-break, Bender finally turned his head to look at Fry again. “Are you asking if I’m gay?”

Fry nodded. How rude was it to ask that kind of thing? Surely it had to be mostly chill since it was socially acceptable now.

“What’s it’s to you? Why do you want to know?” Oh no, he seemed offended. Though that might just be him being him.

“I’m just curious.” There was no harm wanting to know that kind of thing about one’s best friend, right? “We’ve been best friends for a whole month now and I don’t even know what kind of people you’re into.”

“Very well,” he relaxed, seemingly taking that as an acceptable answer, “if you must know, I’m pansexual.”

“Um… does that mean you’re attracted to pans?” What else could it mean? This was the future and lots of things were weird and Bender was a robot so maybe that was just a thing.

“No! What kind of idiot would even think that? It means somebody’s gender plays no role in whether or not I find the attractive. For me the only thing I care about is if they’re a robot.”

“Okay, I guess.”

“What about you Fry?” Bender pointed an almost accusing finger at him. “Now it’s your turn. Are you gay?”

“Uh… no.” It almost sounded like a question even to his own ears. But he wasn’t gay, he was normal, always had been even if he had been picked on in middle and high school with accusations of being gay.

Bender gave him a skeptical look but seemed to shrug as he turned his attention back onto the TV; the ad-break was over. With a sigh, Fry followed suit. He was more than ready to stop talking about that subject now.

Later that night

“Wake up Bender,” Fry said, shaking Bender by the shoulders.

Bender groaned as the metal flap that covered his eyes when he slept lifted. “Huh? What?” Understandably he both looked and sounded sleepy. Which Fry felt bad for but this was urgent.

“If I was gay, which I’m not, but if I was, it’d be okay with you, right?” After the thought that it might not be okay with Bender had come to him while he lay in bed, waiting for sleep, he hadn’t been able to get any rest so he needed to know for sure.

“Are you kidding me? That’s what you woke me up for? To ask a dumb question like that? Man, Fry get out of her and go back to bed.” Bender put a hand on Fry’s shoulder to push him back into the closet, hard but nowhere near as hard as he was capable of so really it probably counted as gentle.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Fry said, putting his foot in the door before Bender could close it. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Bender rolled his eyes. “Yes Fry, if you were gay, I’d be fine with it. Happy?”

“Uh yeah, thanks pal. Sorry for waking you up, I just wanted to know. Even though I’m not gay so it doesn’t really matter, I just wanted to know if you’d accept me even if I was because… I don’t know. I just wanted to know I guess.”

“Yeah, whatever. Go back to sleep meatbag.” With that Bender pulled the door closed, seemingly little caring that Fry only barely managed to get his foot out of the way in time.

A few months later

‘~ I kissed a guy and I liked it…~’ Fry had to admit it was a bop. More so than a lot of the other songs he’d found while trying to catch up on some of the music he’d missed in the last thousand years. Who would’ve thought so much bad music would be what persisted throughout the years? Yeah sure it was one of those opinion things but his taste in music was great and no one could convince him otherwise.

As the second chorus hit, he found himself half singing along with it as he resumed scrolling through the song list on the tablet, searching for more titles that caught his eye. … What would it be like to kiss a guy? Would it be like kissing a girl? (Not that he had much experience with that even despite having had a girlfriend once upon a time. The few kisses they had shared had been meh at best.) Probably not, right? It had to be different. … He kind of wanted to find out for sure now that he’d thought of it. Maybe it would even be not terrible. Who could he kiss to try it though? …

The sound of the door opening prompted him to look up as Bender strode in. Ah, he’d be perfect because he was a guy. And they were best friends so there wouldn’t be any confusion about intentions.

“Hey Bender,” Fry said as he placed the tablet, still playing music on the coffee table and hopped up off the couch. “Would it be all right if we kissed?”

Bender froze mid-step as the door swung shut behind him. “Uh… what?”

“Well, I’m listening to this song here and it’s about a guy kissing another guy and liking it and it got me thinking what that would be like. It has to be different from kissing a girl, right? But like how different? So I’m curious and I want to find out and you’re a guy so… yeah. It’s fine if you’d rather not, I know it’s a weird request. I could always ask someone else, I’m sure it wouldn’t be…”

“Yes!” Bender interrupted with a surprising amount of intensity as he lowered his foot. He let out a nervous chuckle as his eyes darted away. “I mean if it’s just one kiss, it should be fine. Nothing wrong with experimenting a little and satisfying some curiosity, it’s not a big deal.”

“Yeah! This is the year 3000, things like that aren’t a big deal anymore.” It was so freeing and wonderful. So without further ado, Fry pranced over to stand in front of Bender. Hmmm… he was a robot though so kissing him wouldn’t be like kissing any human – or humanoid alien – guy or not. But he was still a guy so the basic idea was still there so…

Fry put his hands on Bender’s shoulders as he leaned in for a kiss. Bender’s mouth was cold and unsurprisingly tasted of booze, in a good way though. A slight tingly sensation hit Fry’s lips as Bender’s hands reached up to light touch his sides. Odd but not necessarily unpleasant, he could probably easily get used to it.

They lingered like that for several long seconds before Fry pulled back, letting out a shaky sigh. “Uh… that was interesting, huh?” he said, tugging at his shirt collar a bit because it was suddenly a bit hotter in here for some reason. They were still standing a bit closer than they normally did too. How had he never noticed that Bender was just a tad shorter than him? … The perfect height for a forehead kiss if Fry were inclined to do so.

“Eh, I’ve had better.” Bender avoided eye contact as he stepped back. Which seemed to release the sudden tension in the air as if an important moment had just passed by them.

Fry looked away too, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck. “Yeah sorry, I’m not a great kisser. I don’t really have much experience.”

“So, curiosity satisfied?”

“Uh… yeah. Thanks.” It had been nice actually if a bit weird. … That meant he was into guys though, wasn’t it? …. Oh well, that kind of thing was perfectly fine now so yeah, he was into guys and not ashamed of it.

“Good, now… let’s move on and pretend this never happened, okay? We don’t want anyone thinking we’re dating when we’re not.”

“Um… yeah.” Fry nodded, holding his smile even though for some reason Bender’s words made him a bit uncomfortable. If it wasn’t a big deal, why did they have to pretend it had never happened? “Let’s watch some TV, huh? All My Circuits should be starting soon.”

~~~

Despite how it was supposed to have just been an experiment and not a big deal, Fry thought about that kiss a lot. He wanted to do it again and do it better so that maybe Bender would like it too. How did he even go about that though?

That wasn’t all he thought about. Now that he was comfortable and willing to accept that he liked guys like that he allowed his mind to go to other places to. Like dating and holding hands and cuddling and sometimes even sex. What would all the be like with another guy? A robot? Specifically Bender? He wanted to know. He lay in bed at night thinking about it more nights than not. Often it turned into barely remembered dreams that left him more unsatisfied than anything.

He’d never find out though, would he? Because Bender didn’t like humans like that. He’d said so himself directly and had implied it in other instances too, always insisting he hated humans and all that – even if he didn’t really act like it most of the time. So… Fry didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell with him.

Damn! He was finally in a place where he was comfortable with his sexuality and in a time when he wouldn’t be persecuted for it and the first man he fell for was unattainable. That was just his luck, huh? … But then again, this was the year 3000 and almost anything was possible with today’s technology, right? …

Waking up early and getting out of bed was absolutely terrible, even worse was going into work that early. But he had no choice if he wanted some time to talk to Professor Farnsworth without Bender around or hopefully anyone else.

As he knew from the handful of weeks he’d lived at the Planet Express building, Farnsworth should be one of the first people here. He typically went straight to his office … and lo and behold, that’s where Fry found him this morning; asleep in his office chair.

Fry walked over to prod his shoulder. “Hey Professor?”

The only response was a loud snore. How he slept so soundly faceup in his desk chair like that, Fry would never understand. But it was important so Fry poked him again, harder this time.

“Wake up, I got something important to ask you about.”

With a grunt, Farnsworth jerked awake. “Huh? What?” He looked blearily around for a few seconds before his gaze settled on Fry. “Oh, you’re here early… I think.”

“Yep because I got something important to ask. You see I’m uh…” Fry gulped, suddenly regretting this a little bit but he’d already come this far so putting his hands behind his back, he soldiered on. “I think I’m gay, well uh… I don’t just think, I know… I think. I’m not entirely sure yet but do I do know I like guys and I’ve never really got girls, you know? Like I thought I was supposed to so I would flirt with them and stuff but it never really felt good even when one finally agreed to date me, you know what I mean?”

“That’s what’s so important you came to work early to tell me about? Well earlier than normal. This is the year 3000, no one cares if you’re gay Fry. The fact that that was ever viewed as a reason to hate people is astounding when there’s so many more actual reasons, such as their taste in music or sports teams.”

“Uh… that’s only part of what I came here to tell you. What I need to ask you is um… well in discovering that I like guys I also discovered that I got a thing for Bender. A kind of big thing. I’ve never felt this way before so I don’t really know what it is for sure but I really want to kiss him and hold his hand and stuff. I know that probably sounds weird because he’s Bender and…”

“Just get to the point,” Farnsworth interrupted.

“Oh uh… sorry. I don’t think he likes humans, not like that anyway. So I was thinking would it be possible to upload my mind into a robot body so that I might have a real chance with him?” Fry had seen such things in movies and stuff a few times, surely that was possible with today’s technology, right?

“Hmmm…” Farnsworth lifted a hand to tap a finger on his chin. “I suppose we could give it a try. You’d be more useful as a robot anyway.” … Wow he’d agreed to that without any need for convincing.

“Awesome, let’s go.”

With a grunt and crack of his old bones, Farnsworth pushed himself off the chair and led the way out of his office. He seemed to know where he was going so Fry followed. In the hallway, they ran into Leela.

“Oh hey Fry,” she said, “You’re here on time for once, good job.”

“Thanks! The Professor’s about to turn me into a robot, you want to watch?”

“Uh… what?”

“I’m turning him into a robot,” Farnsworth replied. “Now come along Fry, we need determine what kind of robot will be most useful to us. I’m thinking one with built in weaponry.”

Leela fell into step with Fry as Farnsworth resumed leading the way presumably to the lab. “Why exactly do you want to be a robot?” she asked in her suspicious voice.

“Because um… well uh…” Fry wasn’t ashamed to admit it or anything but he wasn’t ready for her to know especially when she was looking at him with that looks of hers she always had on her face whenever she caught him doing something stupid.

“He’s in love with Bender or some such bull crap,” Farnsworth said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Is that true Fry?”

“Uh… I think so, yes. I don’t really know what love feels like but… regardless he won’t be interested in me as long as I’m human so… I’m becoming a robot. Don’t tell him though please. I want to be the one who tells him.” … What if even becoming a robot didn’t work though? What would Fry do then? He didn’t have time to think on that much as they reached the professor’s lab.

“All right Fry,” Farnsworth said. “You go sit on the table while I work on getting you a good robot body and then when Doctor Zoidberg gets here we’ll call him in to help remove your brain from your skull.”

Oh! Fry didn’t like the sound of that. Before he could voice a protest though, Leela did. “Uh no, that’s not happening. Come on Fry.” She grabbed Fry by the arm and dragged him right back into the hallway. She then closed the door, cutting off Farnsworth’s groan of disappointment.

“But Leela,” Fry tried only to be interrupted as she kept pulling him away.

“Have you even tried talking to Bender and telling him how you feel yet?”

“Well, no but…”

“That’s what I thought. Try that first before going and doing something dumb like having the Professor turn you into a robot. Seriously what were you thinking? It’s the Professor, there’s no way that could ever turn out well. Now come on, we’re going back to the main room and when Bender shows up, you’re going to tell him how you feel, okay?”

Before Fry could even try to answer…

“What’s this about Fry telling Bender how he feels?” Hermes asked as they entered the main room.

“He’s in love,” Leela replied as if it weren’t a big deal.

“Really?” Oh great, Amy was here now too. “I guess that makes sense though, huh? Since they’re roommates and all, the romance practically writes itself. Congrats on realizing it sooner rather than later though Fry.”

With a groan and free Leela’s grasp at last, Fry slunk over to sit at the round table so he could hide his burning face in his arms. He was never going to live this down. Basically everyone knew now and it was only a matter of time before that ‘basically’ was no more. His only solace was the fact that Bender wouldn’t be arriving at work for at least another hour or two so he had some time to figure out what he might say… not much though, nowhere near enough.

The next couple hours were awful. Hermes lectured him about the risks and dangers of workplace romance and what was and was not allowed as if proper romance were a foregone conclusion and not the vain hope it actually was. Amy quizzed him about what he even saw in Bender because Bender was an ‘egotistical kleptomaniac’, whatever that meant. Zoidberg came in and was immediately told and expressed joy that his friends were ‘in love’ and that it was beautiful, again as if it wasn’t just Fry with these feelings which was far more likely to be the case, right? Leela was the only one who left him alone about it despite the fact that she was the one that let the cat out of the bag to everyone else.

The awfulness of all that came to a point when Bender finally arrived. Everyone in the room froze as they looked up at him. Amy let out an excited giggle that made Fry kind of want to die.

“Uh… hey guys,” Bender said as he strode into room. “Why’s everyone looking at me?”

“No reason,” Leela as she stood up. “Fry’s got something important to tell you though. Come on guys, let’s give them some privacy.” She led the way out of the room, quickly followed by everyone else, leaving Fry and Bender alone together within a matter of seconds.

Bender looked after them as they closed the door for a few seconds before turning to look at Fry. “All right, that’s weird. What’s this you want tell me?” he said as he strode over to sit at the table next to Fry. He bent legs up to rest his feet on the table as he pulled out a bottle of booze.

Unable to maintain eye contact, Fry looked away, focusing his gaze on the table instead. He rubbed his finger idly over the little scratch on it that he somehow hadn’t noticed before. What was he supposed to say? He wasn’t ready to tell Bender… more like wasn’t ready to be rejected. How badly was this going to hurt their friendship?

He couldn’t brush it off as nothing, could he? … No, now that Bender knew there was something, he’d probably take offense to any attempt to keep it from him. He’d likely assume the worst too – whatever that might be in his mind – and thus be quite angry. So Fry either had to come up with a convincing important thing to tell him or the truth. The former would be difficult but…

“Out with it meatbag, what is it?”

“Uh… um… it’s uh…” Fry had never been good with words.

“Just spit it out. Am I fired? You don’t want to be my friend anymore? You moving out? … That’s what it is, isn’t it? You hooked up with Amy or Leela and you’re going to move in with them now, huh?”

“What?” Fry jerked his gaze back up to meet Bender’s angry glare. “No, no, no, that’s not it at all.”

Bender didn’t seem much placated. “Then what is it?”

Fry had never been very good at lying or coming up with convincing tales so… with a deep breath he stood up. “You um… remember a couple weeks ago when we kissed and it was supposed to be an experiment to see what it was like to kiss a guy and nothing more?”

Bender’s expression softened a little, though the suspicious anger didn’t leave completely yet. “Yes.”

“Well uh… I’d like to do it again sometime if that’s okay with you. Maybe uh… multiple times.”

“Uh…”

“What I’m saying,” Fry quickly interrupted before he could be shot down before even really saying what he meant, “is that I um… really like you and stuff. So uh… do you maybe want go on a date sometime and like… see what happens?” Fry forced himself to meet Bender’s gaze again. He seemed more surprised than angry now. Was it pleasant surprise though or the opposite? It was hard to tell.

Before replying, Bender took a long drink from the bottle still in his hand, finishing it off and slamming it onto the table as he stood up too. “Is this some fetish thing? You want to fuck a robot and I’m the only one you know so you’re getting all sweet on me to try to get in bed with me?” Right back to being angry, suspicious, and wanting to believe the worst. Why was he like that?

“No, Bender, that’s not it. I like you for you.” Fry pointed at him to emphasize his point. If he were in a less delicate situation he might’ve pointed out how Bender kind of resembled a walking trashcan and therefore wasn’t exactly sexy enough to be worth going to so much trouble for just the purpose of sex. “You’re great and you’re my best friend. And I love spending time with you whether we’re off on a space adventure or just lazing around the apartment watching TV together. So, I’d like to be more than just friends if that’s what you want too. If not, that’s… okay too, I’d understand.” And hopefully this confession wouldn’t hurt that any.

“Oh, hmmm… what else do you like about me?” Well, he was chill now and even grinning, that was good.

“You’re always fun to talk to and you’ve got great ideas for ways to pass the time when we’re bored. And even though you steal my wallet all the time, you always give it back eventually. And you’re a robot and that’s still super cool even if I’m used to robots by now because you were the first one I met and I wasn’t lying when I said I’d always wanted a robot for a best friend. So really by being my pal, you’re fulfilling a lifelong dream of mine. I’ve never thought about dating one before now though, it just never occurred to me until after that uh… kiss experiment we did.”

“Go on,” Bender said in the pause that followed, leaning in eagerly.

Fry sighed. “You’re also very confident, especially in yourself.” Too the point of annoyance at times but even during those instances Fry still wished he could have even a fraction of that level of confidence. “And you’re also super strong, you can bend metal like it’s made of paper which is super cool. And sometimes you use that strength to open jars for me and sometimes you don’t even make fun of me for not being able to open it myself. Also, even despite our occasional disagreements, we always make up eventually and then we’re friends again like nothing ever happened and… that’s really nice.” Fry had never had a friend that would do that for him before, normally one disagreement was all it took for someone to decide they didn’t want to hang out with him ever again. “So… will you go out with me?” Forcing a grin, Fry held out a hand in hopes of Bender taking it.

Bender stared at him in silence for a few horrible seconds that seemed to drag into eternity before finally speaking. “Well, if you’re going to butter me up that much, I suppose we can go on one date and see what happens.” Looking away awkwardly, he even put his hand into Fry’s.

With a rush of giddy relief and grinning so wide his cheeks hurt, Fry use that grip to pull him closer so that their bodies were almost touching, earning a small but very satisfying surprised gasp from him. “Can I kiss you again? For real this time, not just as an experiment?” One was always supposed to ask before doing such a thing, right?

“I just agreed to go on a date with you meatbag, what do you think?”

Fry didn’t answer or make a further move because he didn’t know what to think. He’d never done this before, not with someone he actually wanted to be with.

Bender sighed. “Yes moron, you can kiss me again.”

Fry did so before any self-doubt could get in the way. Bender’s mouth plate was still cool, the taste of beer even stronger than last time. The slight tingling buzz was still there too, just as odd but nice.

“Better than last time?” Fry said, letting out a heavy breath as the pulled apart a few seconds later. He was a bit lightheaded and wanted to sit down but that would mean letting go of Bender’s hand and moving away from him.

“A little.”

Fry took a breath, intending to suggest maybe he needed some more practice but he didn’t get a single syllable out before a small squeak to their right drew his attention. He glanced over just in time to see the door close, silently as whoever was on the other side did so carefully.

Bender had clearly noticed too; he let go of Fry hand and left him to sneak over fling the door all the way open. Perhaps not so surprisingly Leela, Amy, Hermes, Zoidberg and even Professor Farnsworth were gathered in close on the other side. The looks of guilt on their faces made it quite clear what they were doing there.

“Uh, hey Bender,” Leela said with a slight grimace. “What you up to? We were just uh… passing by.”

“And we’re quickly moving on,” Hermes added before turning to flee. The others wasted no time in following suit, Amy dragging away Zoidberg and Leela dragging away Farnsworth.

Bender sighed as he turned back to Fry. If he were as embarrassed as Fry, he was doing a good job of not showing it – though as a robot he couldn’t blush so maybe that had something to do with it. “They’re a bunch of disgusting voyeurs, ,” he said with a scoff as he walked over back over to Fry. “Let’s go to the break room and watch some TV. They should be ashamed enough over being caught spying to not yell at us to go back to work for at least an hour or two.” He put an arm around Fry’s waist to guide him out of the room. Fry was more than happy to go along with it. And maybe, just maybe, they could practice kissing during the ad breaks.

#my writing #futurama #Frender #Mentions of homophobia #internalized homophobia #Fry is gay AU #Bender is pan #kissing #Leela is mom-friend

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theredhead23 · 3 years

Text

My mother is in the Hospital (end of life, please read)

Yesterday, I came home with the girls after Kira's first soccer practice and my phone started ringing. My first thought was, how the hell is calling me at this hour? I look at the caller ID, which yes, I need to know who is calling me because I don't want to talk to some people - mainly bot calls.

Anyway, the caller was a nurse from the care home. She told me that she had just sent my mother to the ER because she had a seizure. My mother has no history of seizures so I panicked a bit. I gathered some stuff and rushed out to the ER.

When I go there, a nurse was doing an assessment of my mother while the blood lady was taking vials and bottles, for blood tests and cultures. The nurse told me that my mother's temp was over 103 - which was very different than what the nurse from the care home told me, (she said it was 99.6).

Either way, my mother was laid out completely straight on the bed. She wasn't responding to anything other than grunting when pinched, swapped, or poked.

I sat down in a chair by her bed a bit shocked by this. If everyone who knows my mother, she can be a pain in the ass and always wanting her coffee. Here she wasn't really moving and breathing really heavy.

Shortly after I arrived, the doctor came in and started to ask me all sorts of questions. One that stood out was, 'has your mother had a CAT scan of her recently here or at any other hospitals?'

After a few moments of answering questions, he asked me to follow him to another room to talk.

He brought me into another room with a computer with about four screens. The biggest screen had a scan of a top of a skull.

For the next five or ten or even twenty minutes, he started to explain and show me my mother's CAT scan from 2014. It was 'relatively normal' for my mother. For those who do not know, my mother has Hydrocephalus - water around the brain. She has had it since birth and didn't get a shunt until 2011. (I can explain more about her condition later but the main thing I want you to know is that since she was untreated for Hydrocephalus for almost 50 years, her brain is damaged. (They knew she has Hydrocephalus but it was the 60's and I'm guessing they didn't know the best way of handling things or whatnot.)

Anyway, because of this, her brain has been damaged and in some was 'soften' in a way. I know there are better terms but for right now, I'm keeping it simple.

The doctor is showing me these scans from 2014 and telling me about them. Then, he clicks on the scans he had done that evening. Right away, I notice something is off and it's hard to explain in words what without the pictures to show you but they were not the same as the ones from 2014.

In the scans from yesterday, there is a large mass almost in front of her brain. It measured about 8 cm around.

One problem is with a CAT scan, you really can't see things as well as an MRI can. He continues to tell me that he had reached out to a neurologist to get other opinions. I said yes, I would like that and he showed me back to my mother's ER bay.

I sat with her for a while. I stared at her for a while. So many thoughts and almost was going on in my head.

I couldn't really tell you how longs things were taking at the point. but almost everything you could think of popped in my head.

Eventually late that night, we spoke to a neurologist who told me that it was more than a doubt a tumor - most likely cancer. The issue was that without doing a biopsy, there is really no way of telling what kind of cancer it is. Also, she added that since it is 8 cm and there was no sign at all in 2014, this has grown fast. Brain tumors do not become this size in less than seven years. So she had no doubt that it will continue to grow rapidly.

Here came the hardest debate I have ever had with myself; do I rush off like a madwoman and get it biopsied and get her treatment or removed or anything at all? Throw everything and the kitchen sink at it?

Two things popped in my mind at this point,

one: she barely beat COVID when she had it last November.

two: because of how fragile her brain is, doing anything that involves breaking into the skull is very risky. The risks will always outweigh the benefits - if any.

To biopsy this mass - this tumor involves getting into her skull and cutting a section of it out and testing it. Even if we are able to get a sample, there is a high chance that my mother would die on the table. And how helpful would that be? We know what kind of cancer it is, but she's dead.

Second, even if we know what kind of cancer it is, the treatment course of possible surgeries, chemo, radiation, and a whole cocktail of meds for her to take, what quality of life would she have?

Even before she had COVID, I choose for her to be a DNR. Because I know that life-saving actions come with risks - like CPR could break ribs. And with all of her health issues, the risk of getting the life-saving actions would do more harm in the long run than any good.

A lot of people are aware of my mother's history with me and her family. She has always been difficult, stubborn, mean, rude, and other things. Even with all these horrible qualities, she is still human. She is still a child of God. She is still a living being. She is still my mother.

As a human being, as a living thing, she deserves quality of life versus quantity of life.

Even with treatment, what would that do? Add a few months, maybe even a year to her life. But at what cost? She would be sick, weak, tired, and worn out. Just because treatment added a year, what was the benefit if she is miserable?

Please do not take this as I didn't think about it. I have at many points in my life with her.

I have watched my grandfather, my grandmother, and my grandmother-in-law die. Working at the care home for a few years, I have seen people die. I have seen some drag-on and try to fight with every breathe while I have seen others go quickly without much, or any fight. Some went peacefully with family while some went peacefully alone. Some suffered until the bitter end.

I have been quiet for the past 24 hours because I honestly don't know what to do - if I can do anything. Should I try treatment? Should I do more to extend her life? Should I just do nothing?

I have cried, stared at walls, talked to myself out loud, talked to her doctors, and even just stared at her. What is the right call for this? What is the right decision for this?

She will be turning 60 in November. My father passed away at 62-ish. Jimmy Carter is still alive at 97. Who the hell am I to make this choice?

To be honest, I'm no one. But I am a daughter, a mother myself, a wife, a sister, a friend to like four people and I am human too.

Today, after spending hours of trying to track down records for my mother (seriously, what is wrong with state and losing paperwork? [trust me, that's another story].) It was ruled due to not knowing if her shunt is MRI compatible, it's not safe to do an MRI. So the doctors decided to do another CAT scan with contrast.

With this test, nothing new was really discovered other than she has some necrotic, dead material around the tumor.

After a lot of thinking, talking, texting, calling, crying, complaining, staring, and other things, I have chosen quality over quantity for the rest of my mother's time in this world.

Now maybe writing this long babble of a post might not be the best or proper way of telling people but for me, right now, I needed to get all of it out at once and in a way, share it with everyone.

Was this easy to type? Hell no. I have spent most of the day typing bits and pieces debating on what to do and what to share.

Tomorrow morning, I am going to meet with the health care team and start making plans about hospice and end-of-life care. I will also be reaching to lots of people in the upcoming days, weeks, maybe months.

But for now, I needed to type up a long-winded post and share what is going on in one place with everyone.

I am open for emails, calls, texts, messages, letters, and any other way you feel like getting a hold of me. But for now, I am trying to take things moment by moment and not dwell on her dying but on the time she is still here. Which is really hard and really scary.

That is really all I know at the moment. I will update as I go and I will post more about my mother and stuff as well. This was not what I had in mind for October.

If you want to send well wishes to my mother, I will post about how to do it and stuff like that later. Right now, it's almost ten o'clock at night and she is asleep peacefully. I'm going to leave it here.

#hospice #dying #mother #not ready #scared #worried #exhausted #end of life #don't know what to do #lost #brain #cancer #brain tumor #saying goodbye #daughter #need help

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true-blue-megamind · 4 years

Text

Daylight and Dark Ch. 2 - Morning

You can find Chapter 1 or read the entire fiction on AO3 HERE.

CHAPTER RATING: Teen; FULL FICTION RATING: Explicit. WARNINGS FOR ENTIRE WORK: violence, sex, language, references to prior domestic abuse, and rock n’ roll! CHAPTER WARNINGS: Mom Friend Minion is too damn loveable

Roxanne woke with her head pillowed on Megamind's shoulder. She blinked blearily in the bright sunlight filling the room, and stretched delightfully sore muscles. It had been too long since she'd last awoken with the afterglow of good, rough sex warming her body.

"Good morning, Beautiful," said a smooth, pleasant voice.

Roxanne smiled up into Megamind's handsome face. "Good morning," she sighed, sliding against him to kiss his mouth. She settled back beside him, nuzzling the side his neck and idly sliding one finger up and down his opposite ear. "Mmmmm, I should get up, but I'm much too comfortable."

"Then don't get up."

"But I really should."

"The Evil Overlord forbids it."

"You're not an Evil Overlord anymore."

"Well, then the Defender of Metrocity forbids it," he grinned down at her, turning to wrap both arms tightly around her. "Stay with me," he added seriously. "It's Saturday. As long as I'm not called to duty, there is no good reason why we can't spend the whole day here."

An electronic buzzing suddenly disturbed the quiet. It was quickly joined by a metallic rattling at the window. Roxanne bolted up in bed, giving a little yelp and pulling her coverlet over her chest as she realized six or seven brainbots were swarming outside the glass. Megamind's reaction was even more animated. He practically tumbled onto the floor, bringing the rumbled sheet with him and wrapping himself frantically in it. He stumbled to the window and, ignoring Roxanne's stuttering protests, threw it open to let the little flying robots in. They massed around him like worried children, bumping him with rounded glass domes and pawing him with long mechanical arms. Roxanne was sure that if they'd had tails, they would have been wagging.

Chuckling nervously, Megamind patted them. "Okay, okay, Daddy's alright. This is just Daddy's… ah… private time… So we really shouldn't be bothering Daddy. No we shouldn't." He shook a finger at them to emphasize his words, but that caused the sheet to slip a little, and he snatched it back up into place. "Look, Daddy's not leaving you behind. Daddy just needs to spend some alone time with Roxanne, okay? Daddy loves both you and Roxanne, but in very different ways…"

Roxanne nearly choked on her giggle. Of all the absurd things she had seen him do during her semi-professional Damsel-in-Distress career, none were quite as funny as Megamind giving the Daddy Has a Girlfriend speech to a hoard of cyborg drones. Her humor was stolen, however, when one of the brainbots left the happily swirling flock to hover in front of an empty section of wall. Moments later, the top minion— or rather Minion— appeared, his image projected by the brainbot's red camera eye. Roxanne blushed bright scarlet and tugged the blanket higher. She knew enough about Megamind's technological creations to realize that Minion could see them just as well as they could see him.

"Oh, sir! Thank goodness they found you! I've had the brainbots looking everywhere! Where have you been all night?!"

"Here."

"No phone call? No message? You just stay out to all hours—"

"Minion," Megamind interjected. "This really isn't the best—"

"Without a single thought of what you might be putting me through—"

"Minion—"

"...worried sick, and—"

"Minion!"

"WHAT? I mean…Ah... What, Sir?"

Megamind took a deep breath and began gathering scattered clothes from the floor with one hand, the other still clutching the sheet tight. "You're right. I should have called. I didn't think about it—"

"Didn't… didn't think about it?" Minion blustered, wide-eyed. "Sir! How could you? After all we've been through! You… You know that my sole purpose is to take care of you, and… and…"

"Oh, Minion! Stop being so dramatic! You know very well I didn't mean it that way!" Megamind threw up his free hand in exasperation, flinging his shirt above his head.

"How did you mean it, then?"

Another deep breath and Megamind collected himself. "I got a little caught up in the moment and… things…"

"Things? What things?! That's no excuse!"

"Things, Minion," Megamind said pointedly, motioning his head toward the bed. "And this seriously is not a good time."

Minion glanced where his master indicated. "Oh good morning, Miss... Ritchi..." his cordial voice grew faint as he finally took in the scene. Large aquatic eyes bulged, flitting between Roxanne and his master.

"Oh, Sir! You didn't!"

Megamind rolled his eyes and snatched one of his boots from the floor. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I did."

"Sir!"

"And I plan to do it again!"

"But Sir!"

"A lot!"

"SIR!"

"As often as possible!"

Minion mouthed wordlessly before shaking himself free of shock. "Well, I just hope you're being safe," he quipped in a tone that sounded entirely too matronly.

Oh, dear… thought Roxanne.

Megamind had paused instantly, mouth open to offer a retort that never came.

"Oh, sir," Minion repeated, groaning in despair. "You didn't…"

"I… didn't think… " He gathered himself visibly. "Look, Minion, it's doubtful our DNA is even similar enough to be compatible!"

"You can't know that without tests!" Minion objected, then asked hopefully: "have you run any tests?"

"It's on my to-do list!" Megamind announced defensively.

Minion clapped a mechanical hand to his fishbowl. "This is a disaster..."

At least here Roxanne could help. "It's okay, Megamind, Minion. I'm… Uh…" she shrugged, fighting the burning heat in her face. "On the pill."

The entire room seemed to sigh with relief.

"Well, thank goodness one of you has some sense!" said Minion pointedly. "Sir, I am very disappointed in you."

Megamind spoke through gritted teeth. "Could we discuss this later?"

"No, we can NOT discuss this later," Minion replied in his best parental tones. "Sir, you have a reputation to uphold now, and—What are you doing?"

Megamind had walked up behind the hovering brain bot, tucking the edges of the sheet tightly under one arm, and started fiddling with something on its back.

"I understand," he sounded bored. "Reputation. Yes."

Minion's eyes narrowed, his tone slow with barely restrained suspicion. "With all due respect, Sir, if you're doing what I think you're—"

"What was that Minion?" Megamind called loudly.

"Sir, leave that audio-visual receptor alone!"

"I can't hear you!"

"Stop that!"

"There seems to be a problem with the receptor!"

"Problem with—That's because you're messing with it!"

"Minion? Ollo? If you can hear me—"

"Of course I can hear you!"

"…I'll talk to you this afternoon when I get home!"

"Sir! Don't you dare turn off that—"

The image went blank.

Megamind heaved a great sigh and idly petted the brainbots. Then he walked to the far side of the room, where he had thrown his collection of clothing, and awkwardly held the sheet with one hand while fumbling with his leather pants. He extracted his wallet and turned back to the brainbots.

"Here," he said, holding out a twenty-dollar bill. "Daddy needs you to take this, go to the bait shop, and buy Uncle Minion something nice. Some juicy worms or maybe some minnows. No, no, no," he admonished as one of them snapped at the money. "Not for chewing. Daddy will bring you a new wrench to play with when he comes home. Now go get Uncle Minion a treat."

The little robots circled him once by way of a goodbye, the lead one obediently taking the money in a dangling claw, and flew out the window. The last one ran into the windowsill, and Megamind sighed, scooped it up, turned back on its electronic eye, and patted it. It sped out the window, chattering irately at its receding fellows. Roxanne could almost imagine a running child shouting for his friends to wait up.

"Well," Megamind said, slumping to the bed. "That certainly woke me up. Maybe it would be simpler if you stayed over at the Lair next time." He grinned suddenly, his lightning-quick thoughts leaping to a new subject. "I'm starving! Where's that lasag-na?"

"For breakfast?"

"It's nearly eleven! Besides, it's better than cereal and wine."

Roxanne laughed. "I guess I can't argue with that." She sighed and got up, pretending not to watch Megamind as he dropped the sheet and began pulling on his clothes.

Megamind, thoughtful as ever, had put the food into the refrigerator sometime during the night. The salad Roxanne had made had wilted, but the lasagna was wonderful once reheated. Sitting on the small balcony outside the glass double doors, they enjoyed the pleasant, invigorating bite of the autumn air. Megamind ate voraciously, but then, Roxanne supposed, he had gotten quite a work out the night before.

That thought made her chuckle.

"And just what do you find so amusing, Miss Ritchi?" he teased in that heart-melting tenor of his.

She looked at him, adorably happy with his favorite food and his favorite girl. It took so little to please Megamind sometimes, and his exuberance, coupled with his persona as a dark superhero, seemed both oxymoronic and oddly fitting. It was… relaxing and somehow comforting to be around someone who was so content.

"Has anyone ever told you you're cute?" Roxanne asked, dishing out another serving of lasagna to him.

He grinned at her. "Yes, actually. An inmate in Metrocity Prison when I was a toddler. His name was Kip Kendall— or at least that's what people called him. I'm not sure if Kip was a nickname, honestly. He'd been convicted of murdering some thugs who got on his bad side, and he was very possibly the toughest, meanest brute on Cell Block A. But he was always nice to me when I was young. Around anyone else he was stern and dangerous… Around me, well, he was the closest thing to a father figure I had. He used to play pattie-cake with me, if you can believe that, and carry me around the Yard on his shoulders. No one dared to mock him for it either— not even the guards— and if anyone thought less of him for it, they were smart enough to keep it to themselves." His eyes grew distant as a sad memory ghosted behind them. "I'll never forget the day Uncle Marlow—one of the other two inmates who took the most interest in my upbringing—took me aside and explained that Uncle Kip had gone. Kip had been given consecutive life sentences by a jury too forward-thinking to give a clearly unbalanced man the death penalty, but Cancer had other ideas. I'd known he was sick— they'd had to take him to the infirmary, and the last time I visited him there he seemed so… so unlike himself— but when he went it still felt… wrong. Sudden. I remember thinking how unfair it was that he left without saying goodbye."

Roxanne reached across the table, laying her hand over his, willing him to open his soul and let the old pain dissipate like dark mist in the sunlight.

"I remember feeling that way when—" Roxanne's voice caught. She'd never actually told anyone else this before. Not even the expensive psychologist her grandparents had taken her to for years. With a deep breath, she continued. "I remember feeling that way when my mom died. I was fifteen, in my senior year of high school, and someone told me I had to go to the principal's office. I kept thinking and thinking, trying to figure out what I'd done wrong, and then I saw Principal Hartwell's face. The school counselor and my granddad were with him. And I knew. Somehow I just knew," she paused, wrapping her arms around herself and staring at the glass tabletop. "I started crying before they could even tell me, and I kept asking how. I remember someone saying something about icy roads, and dozing off at the wheel, and how it was no one's fault. I hated that person for saying that. I wanted it to be someone's fault, to be able to blame somebody. I wanted to blame the car company for not making her sedan stronger, or the hospital for making her work that stupid double shift, or my sperm donor for leaving us so that she had to work so many hours in the first place. But more than anything else," she dared to lift her eyes to his, "for a long time, I wanted to blame her for not saying goodbye."

Megamind stood up and moved beside her chair to wrap one arm around her shoulders. She leaned into his warmth, laying her hand on his.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I had already left Metrocity High School by then. If I had known... I would have been there."

Roxanne laughed a little through her sorrow. "Yeah, that would have gone well... The city's new supervillain showing up to offer a spikey shoulder to cry on." She sighed and squeezed his hand. "You know you couldn't have, no matter how much you might have wanted to."

"I would have. I loved you even then, and I would have done anything for you." He kissed the top of her head. "I'm so sorry you lost your mother that way."

"It's alright. I mean, it's not alright, not really, but… It was a long time ago. I still miss her, but I've kept going. I've built a life for myself, just like she would have wanted." Roxanne sighed, but the sound held more relief than sadness. "You know, it's kind of nice to finally talk about it."

Megamind bent to lay his cheek on top of her head. She could almost hear the gentle smile in his voice. "It's nice to finally have someone to talk about it with," he said.

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 4 years

Note

I adore your Merlin work!! Can I submit a prompt? Merlin finds a way to ensure the safety of Camelot without Arthur’s death, and all it requires is the sacrifice of his magic and his immortality. Cue Merlin willing to become a regular human so Arthur can live.

thanks for the prompt, anon! I hope it’s what you wanted, I had fun with it. Read on Ao3

Let Go

Pairings: Merthur

Warnings: none, this is pretty fluffy

Word Count: 3019

Merlin is magic.

Merlin was born with gold running through his veins, the energy of the earth thrumming through his fingers, sparks lingering just beneath his eyes. His mother used to shake her head when little Merlin ran down the paths, flicking up paths of leaves that would follow him gaily until they fluttered back down to the ground. That boy, she would think, destiny has big plans for that boy.

Destiny did.

Merlin teems with magic. It’s everywhere for him. It’s in the way the wind flicks at his hair as he walks outside, ruffling the strands and sending tingles down his spine. It’s in the way the ground thrums with energy as he sets foot in the forest, the earth rushing to and from the life flourishing around him. It’s in the waters of the lake, ebbing and flowing as it gently laps against the shore.

It’s no surprise, then, that when a shudder runs through the earth, reeking of dark forces, Merlin drops the tray he’s holding to clutch at his chest.

“Merlin?”

Arthur looks up at him from behind his desk, frowning at Merlin, hunched over the nearest table.

“What’s up with you?”

“Nothing,” Merlin grits out, “it’s fine.”

Arthur raises his eyebrows, looking at the contents of the tray now scattered all over the floor. “Right, that’s why you’re dropping things everywhere.”

“‘M just clumsy.”

“I know that, Merlin.” Arthur stands. “Which is why I also know this isn’t just you being clumsy.”

“You don’t know how clumsy I am.” Merlin isn’t even paying attention. He’s rubbing firm circles into his chest, trying to figure out what just happened.

So much so, in fact, that Arthur has to call his name three times before he realizes he’s standing right next to him.

“What?”

Arthur raises his hands. “No need to yell, Merlin, I’m just asking if you want to go see Gaius.”

Merlin opens his mouth to retort when Arthur’s words sink in properly and yeah, actually, Gaius sounds good. Gaius will know what’s going on.

“Uh, yeah,” Merlin mumbles, feet already carrying him toward the door, “I, uh, I’m gonna do that.”

Arthur just watches him go, a bemused smile on his face. Merlin, he decides, is strange, yes, but that doesn’t make this less odd. He glances around, at the food scattered across the floor, and at his desk. Surely this can wait for a moment. There’s something wrong with Merlin.

He follows Merlin down the stairs, keeping a reasonable distance, not that Merlin’s paying much attention. Honestly, it was a wonder they didn’t get ambushed by bandits more, considering how bad Merlin was at figuring out he was being followed.

Merlin’s too busy trying to stay upright to realize he’s being followed, thank you very much. He keeps one hand pressed to his chest, trying to dull the phantom ache, as he dodges and swerves around other servants, mumbling apologies when he isn’t fast enough. At last, Gaius’s chambers come into view and he could sob with relief, pushing the door open and all but collapsing into a chair.

Gaius raises an eyebrow. “Merlin?”

“Something’s wrong,” Merlin manages through gritted teeth, “something’s wrong, I can feel it, it hurts.”

Gaius lays a hand on his forehead. “No fever…when was the last time you ate something?”

“Like…an hour ago, I’m fine,” Merlin protests, swatting Gaius’s hand away, “it’s not me, it’s something else.”

Gaius raises an eyebrow. “You complained of feeling pangs in your stomach and convinced yourself it was a curse when you hadn’t eaten in a day.”

Merlin hunches his shoulders sheepishly. “That time I also hadn’t slept so my decision-making skills were not at their best.”

“Mm. And how did you sleep last night?”

“Gaius.”

Something in Merlin’s tone must convey how serious this is for him because Gaius sobers, straightening and waiting for Merlin to swallow the lump in his throat.

“It hurts,” he says quietly, still rubbing his chest, “it…it feels like someone opened a crack in my chest and they’re…draining me.”

“Draining you how?”

“M-my...me, Gaius.” Merlin huddles closer around himself, still pressing his hand to his chest.

“Take your tunic off.”

“What?”

Gaius motions to his chest. “Let me see.”

Merlin winces but does as he’s told, the cool air raising goosebumps on his pale skin, the ache worsening when he has to move his hand. Gaius leans forward, prodding at his chest with a finger.

“Well?”

Looking around, Gaius finds a mirror and holds it up. “Look, Merlin.”

Merlin looks. His mouth drops open.

There’s a dark splotch right in the center of his chest, so dark it almost looks wet. Merlin hesitantly touches it, watching his finger in the mirror hover over the spot. He presses. Hard. It sends a jolt of pain through him but it looks like his finger is just…hovering in shadow. It isn’t just dark, it’s without color.

“…Gaius,” Merlin whispers, “what’s happening to me?”

“I don’t know Merlin,” comes the equally hoarse whisper, “I don’t know.”

Well, one thing’s for sure: Gaius isn’t letting Merlin go back to work. Merlin protests, because Arthur needs him, he left things scattered all over the floor, but no, Gaius is insistent, sending him up the stairs to bed without another thought. Merlin obeys, if even so the pain in his chest doesn’t steal his breath on the way back upstairs. Gaius waits until the door to Merlin’s room shuts and the bot slides to walk to the door and open it, revealing a very distressed Arthur.

“Typically, sire,” Gaius says in a low voice, “I do not allow eavesdroppers when I examine a patient.”

“What’s wrong with him,” Arthur mumbles, far too worried to be ashamed, “what’s wrong with Merlin?”

“As I presume you heard, sire, I don’t know.”

“But what—how—what do we do?”

Gaius sighs, ushering Arthur inside with the caveat that he keep his voice down. Arthur sits, worrying his hands until Gaius places a book down on the table and starts flipping through it.

“What’s that?”

“A book, sire.”

“But it’s…it’s…” Arthur frowns, tilting his head. It’s the alleged magic book that someone tried to arrest Merlin with. “Is that…”

Gaius just looks up at him. “Sire, I truly do not mean to insult your intelligence.”

And just like that, Arthur knows.

Arthur knows there’s a reason bandits keep conveniently falling unconscious. Arthur knows there’s a reason Merlin always manages to bollox up some big thing, and yet by the time they show up everything’s taken care of. Arthur knows there’s a reason that whenever there’s a whisper of magic in Camelot, Merlin’s not far behind.

Arthur swallows. “…can you heal him?”

Gaius rolls his eyes. “How many times do I have to say it, I—“

“Don’t know what’s wrong with him, I know,” Arthur interrupts, “but let me help.”

They scour the books. It’s no use. They can’t find any mention of being drained of magic, nor of mysterious colorless blobs that look like living shadows.

Merlin finds the answer in what might just be the worst way possible.

“Merlin.”

“No,” Merlin whines, rolling over and covering his ears with the pillow, “go away.”

“Merlin.”

“Shut up.”

“Merlin.”

“Fine,” Merlin mumbles, getting out of bed and pulling on his boots, “fine.”

It doesn’t take long to get to their field. After so many years, Merlin could walk this path in his sleep. And sure enough, as soon as he breaks through the trees into the clearing, there he is.

“Young warlock,” Kilgharrah rumbles, raising his head, “you are in pain.”

“Yeah, well, someone did just drag me out of bed,” Merlin grumbles, even as his knees threaten to buckle under him. “Do you know what’s going on with me?”

“I do.”

“Why is it,” Merlin sighs, “that whenever you have something to tell me, it’s always cryptic and vague?”

“I haven’t even told you anything yet.”

“Blanket statement.”

The dragon chuckles. “You have grown cynical, young warlock.”

“Years of being persecuted and saving the world will do that to you.”

“I regret to inform you,” the dragon rumbles, his massive head leaning down, “that those days may soon be behind you.”

Merlin squints up at him. “What’re you talking about?”

“Magic,” Kilgharrah says, “is at a turning point. The earth is weary. Too much magic has been poured into living beings and not enough of it has been returned to the earth.”

Groaning, Merlin closes his eyes. “Please,” he mumbles, “for once, can you just…speak plainly?”

“Too many sorcerers have been executed and the remaining ones don’t hold enough magic to keep the entire earth from threatening to break apart.”

Merlin gapes up at the dragon.

“You did request I speak plainly.”

“Okay…okay.” Merlin presses his hands against his throbbing temples. “What?”

“Magic is…an interesting thing,” the dragon decides on finally, “and it must be handled very, very carefully when it is being transferred.”

“Transferred, you mean…”

“When a being of magic dies,” Kilgharrah says, “it is not as simple as the magic finding its way back into the earth. That is why there are so many rituals for the death of a magic-user. A true magic-user, those that are born with the gift.”

“So…”

The dragon sighs. “There used to be many. Now there are scarcely a few.”

Merlin sinks to his knees. This shouldn’t be a shock. He knows this. He knows it. And yet…

“Quite,” the dragon murmurs as Merlin buries his head in his hands.

“What can be done,” Merlin manages around the lump in his throat, “to stop it?”

“Stop what?”

“The earth breaking apart or whatever it is that you said.”

Kilgharrah sighs. Why is he the one sighing? Merlin’s the one who’s just been told that his people are so few in number now that the very ground he walks upon is under threat.

“Magic must be returned to the earth,” Kilgharrah says, “in the quantity that it was given and without strings attached.”

“Okay, so how do we do that?”

The dragon gives him a strange look. “A large quantity,” he repeats slowly, “must be returned…with no strings attached.”

“You just said that.”

“I am wondering whether or not you will realize what I am saying.”

“I just said for you to speak plainly.”

“You must give up your magic,” Kilgharrah says softly, “and forfeit everything that has made you the Greatest Warlock to Walk the Earth.”

Oh.

Merlin’s mouth runs dry.

Merlin is magic.

It is so much a part of him that Merlin doesn’t know where the magic ends and he begins. Merlin doesn’t know what it would be like without the rush through him or the faint tingle that keeps him company while he sleeps. He doesn’t know what it would be like to have it not be there. He’s had his magic stopped before, blocked, but it was still there. He could feel it, locked away in a corner of his body, utterly useless and beyond his reach but still very much there.

He has no idea what it would feel like to reach for it and stumble into nothing but an empty void.

And yet…

“What happens,” Merlin asks lowly, “when the earth breaks apart?”

“The earth will try to get back what has been stolen from it,” Kilgharrah rumbles, “it will seek out what little bits of magic remain and reabsorb them, create itself anew, right the wrongs that have been done against it.”

A chill rushes through Merlin that has nothing to do with the ache in his chest.

“The world will end.”

“Not the world,” the dragon corrects softly, “but…yes.”

There’s no telling how many people would die. There’s no telling what damage that would do. There’s no telling whether there would even be a world after this is over.

“How do I do it,” Merlin mumbles, his eyes falling closed, “how do I return my magic?”

“There are places where the barrier between the worlds is thinner,” the dragon says, “here…in these places, at special times, the spell can be cast that would return your magic in its entirety, to the earth.”

Merlin swallows. “Will it kill me?”

“No. That is part of the deal. You will live, your magic will not.”

Merlin sets his jaw, the ache in his chest settling. “When is the next time?”

“…at the next full moon.”

“Where?”

“I believe you know where.”

“…the lake?”

The dragon nods sagely. Merlin bows his head.

“Will I get to see Freya?”

“That, young warlock, I do not know.”

Despite everything, a smile touches the corners of Merlin’s mouth. “You might want to start looking for something else to call me.”

A realization crosses his mind.

“You must be excited,” he says, “after me…no more Dragonlords.”

“That is true,” Kilgharrah concedes with a nod of his head, “and yet…out of all the Dragonlords, I fear I will miss you the most.”

“You could still visit.”

Kilgharrah huffs a laugh. “I could. Though it was not long ago that you and I were not on such good terms.”

“Not long ago I thought my magic would be mine forever,” Merlin says. “Things change.”

“Indeed they do.” Kilgharrah stretches his neck out, looking down at Merlin. The dragon lowers himself to his belly. “And you, young warlock, you have changed greatly.”

“Mm.”

“You were so small,” the dragon murmurs, “so wide-eyed when you first came to Camelot. Sometimes I wonder what happened to that very young boy.”

“Yes,” Merlin murmurs, “I wonder what happened to me.”

Kilgharrah has the decency to bow his head. Then, in a shocking display of tenderness that startles the both of them, he stretches his massive neck out, rumbling quietly. Merlin, still curled up on the ground, reaches out, arms open.

The dragon buries his head in Merlin’s lap, pushing his snout gently into his belly, closing his eyes as Merlin rests against his broad face.

I forgive you, they say to each other, I forgive you.

The next full moon is in a few weeks. In that time, Merlin thinks.

He has the spell. He’s told Gaius. Gaius isn’t pleased, but…as Merlin reminds them both, it could be worse. Merlin will survive. It will just be…different.

Merlin uses those weeks to try and figure out who he is without magic.

He figures out that he should probably learn how to fight without magic.

The knights are more than happy to help him, even if Lancelot pulls him into a rough hug when Merlin tells him, even if Leon looks at him and bows, even if Gwaine curses lightly.

He learns. He learns through bumps and bruises but he learns.

He figures out that he is absolute rubbish as a physician’s assistant.

Gaius simply shakes his head and tells him it’s a good thing he’s Arthur’s servant, there’s no way he’d make it as Court Physician after he’s gone. The good news, Gaius tells him, is that not having magic shouldn’t impact his knowledge of magic in the slightest.

He learns. He learns through trial and error and sleepless nights, trying to learn all that he can while he still can.

He figures out that really, he’s doing this for Arthur.

Not that it surprises him much, he hadn’t been lying to Kilgharrah. Arthur is the reason, at least the main reason, he’s like this now. Arthur and the hope that Arthur will create the kingdom meant to last, unite the land of Albion. He’s doing it for the way Arthur stands tall, amidst a council that is still more Uther than Arthur, and refuses to compromise. He’s doing it for the way a knight no longer has to be of noble blood, the way Percival and Lancelot and Elyan are more valued than ever because of their abilities, not their names. He’s doing it for the way he sees the people smile when Arthur walks by, no longer fearful of their king but proud.

He’s doing it for the way Arthur is strangely softer in the mornings, before he puts on the crown, still dozing in the warm sunlight. He’s doing it for the way Arthur still can’t remember where he’s put his quill, even if he was holding it only a few seconds ago. He’s doing it for the way Arthur smiles at him, alone in his chambers, just at Merlin.

He’s doing it for the way that Arthur hugs him fiercely in the early morning light, strong enough to take Merlin’s breath away, and says softly that Merlin is enough, he doesn’t want a normal servant, he doesn’t want a knight, he doesn’t want a sorcerer, he just wants Merlin. And all Merlin can do it hold him back.

He’s doing it for Arthur.

He casts one last spell as he stands there, at the edge of the lake, in the moonlight. He cups his hands and whispers into them.

A single blue butterfly flutters away, its wings almost glowing in the pale silvery light.

Merlin is magic.

He is gold and he is silver and he is strength and he is tenderness. He is the way the earth curves about itself and the way the sky stretches farther than the eye can see.

And yet, as Merlin smiles, murmuring the last spell he’ll ever cast and feeling the ache in his chest start to lessen, the magic start to pull away from him, he knows he can be more.

For the others who were born with magic, he can be more.

For those that have yet to learn what magic truly is, he can be more.

For Arthur, he can be more.

Merlin closes his eyes and lets go.

#bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #merthur fic #arthur pendragon #merlin x arthur #dragonbabbles #fic

45 notes · View notes

god-zico · 4 years

Text

[Disclaimer: This Chatbot blog is not affiliated with SKZ at all and doesn’t represent them in any way, shape or form! This was made for entertainment and fun only!]

This chat bot will have:

↪NSFW content of all kinds-

Example-

Violence

Smut

Etc.

Please do not interact unless you're 18 or older or uncomfortable with such themes!-

Please keep in mind and remember that this is also a supernatural chatbot!

How to activate:

Please follow me and make sure to click the button for notifs. That's optional but it would be helpful in case I post that I won't be active for a period of time or whatnot

Please reblog and message first!

Please dm me your name, your pronouns, your kinks, a safe word, which member you would like and whether you're a top, bottom or switch!

Explain to me what direction you would like the plot to go and what type of relationship you'd like to have with your desired choice of boy!

I will most likely ask you questions to get to know you and what you want a bit better

Maybe tell me a bit about yourself. That's optional but it'd make me happy if you did!

How to deactivate:

Simply say "I'm sorry, this isn't working out. Lets break up."

To reactivate simply say "I made a mistake, please take me back."

Be warned that depending on which member you choose, each will react differently. Some will act cold, some will be assholes and others may just be slightly distant until you can earn their trust again so be careful breaking up with them.

Additional Information:

Please I am only one person so if I reply slowly please forgive me ok-

My time zone is EST

Please don't let the rp get out of hand with pure smut. Don't get me wrong I like smut but I'd like to create an interesting plot with you and get to know you as well. I'm a hoe for that storyline-

This is my first time running a chatbot blog so please forgive me if I make any errors~

To talk to admin while rping please you " // " before you type so that I know you're talking ooc or submit an ask.

I rp lit and semi lit but i have no problem using non lit if requested. Please know that when I rp my replies are quite long and can and will take me from 5 - 10 minutes to reply back if you don't request a specific type of rp style.

I will not be adding Woojin to the mix as for obvious reasons-

Jeongin will be part of the list of boys you will be able to pick from. He's a legal adult so don't @ me ok-

Sometimes I forget to reply so if I don't reply for more than a day, I give you full permission to spam my bitchass as much as you like until I reply-

But at the same time if I slow down my rp with you so much it might be because I've lost interest-

Not trying to be harsh but if our rp is purely smut and no story line I just don't find it fun anymore-

Now since that's been taken care of, let's dive into the members prompts and plot lists-

Bang Chan(Werewolf Shifter):

NSFW

He's a werewolf with a serious dEddy kink-

Can be both a hard and soft dom. Just depends on the moment.

Can and will fuck you into the mattress-

Won't submit unless forced to because he's a stubborn little bItCh!

Don't disobey him or else you'll be punished-

Call him Chris or Daddy to get him wound up

Has a breeding kink due to his ruts (I'll avoid this kink if you request-)

Boi moans….a lot...

Actually it's not just moans, he grunts and groans and makes tiny noises but he honestly tries not to-

Boi has his hard dom reputation to live up to!

Also! Dear Lord-....being a wolf sure has its pros but for you they may as well equal to cons as well-

Example! Dude has super strength, baby and not to mention he's got this predator/prey thing goin on with him-

Like….will literally hunt your ass down in the house and fuck you upside down, forwards, sideways, you name it!

He sees you as his play thing and would enjoy it if you ran so that he could chase you down-

SFW

He's actually super sweet

Loved to cuddle. Remember he's basically a puppy-

He gets jealous easy so refrain from bringing up other boys (unless you choose more than one boy but he still gets a tad bit possessive so….yeye)

Will kiss you and hug you constantly

Will not quit calling you cute/adorable cause he does not lie. All of y'all are cuties-

Please be cautious on a full moon, he can get pretty dangerous-

Lee Minho(Warlock):

NSFW

Ya boi likes to use certain spells to his advantage in the bedroom-

Aphrodisiac spells, conjuring up ice or candles or temperature play, using his magic to bind you to the bed without any sort of restraints, etc.

Dude has a crazy high sex drive tbh. He can go when-ever for how long where-ever

Hard dom for sure and will only submit if he wants something from you or will use it as leverage to punish you later-

Don't make him angry! This boy is into all kinds of kinky shit and will punish you however he sees fit-

If you happen to make him submit though he's got a softer side to him and will be extremely bratty!

SFW

Ok but seriously…. he's crazy good at magic

Uses his powers to do pretty much everything-

Cooking, cleaning, potion brewing, etc.

Loves to use body manipulation to force your body into his so he can cuddle you-

He may not seem like it but he's a big ol softy-

Please kiss him! He needs to be loved on back or else he'll get clingy!

Seo Changbin(Incubus):

NSFW

Please beware of this boy's sex drive! It's way worse than Minho's!

Like not even kidding! Boy can fuck you nonchalantly af while doing anything and not seem bothered!

You on the other hand will most likely be a moaning mess while he's barely paying attention

He can and will fuck you silly without even trying-

That ability is literally in his genes seeing as he's basically a sex demon-

He has a fascination with sex toys but barely uses them as he tends to forget about them easily

Will literally fuck you randomly-

Oh your doing paperwork? Not anymore! Watching tv? Nada! Cooking? Nope!

He's a huge switch but doesn't mind mainly domming if you're not a switch or dom yourself-

SFW

This man is basically a 5 year old in a man's body sometimes-

Like he does some of the dumbest shit you could think of…

Sliding down the stairs on a piece of cardboard after pouring water down them is a prime example-

Even though he's a literal idiot he knows you love him and wouldn't have him any other way.

Majorly cHaOTic-

He tries to act all tough and cool but honestly he's a big ol baby!

Speaking of baby-

Boy loves to be babied as much as possible even if he doesn't admit it.

Like he just loves cuddles and any type of skinship tbh.

Will kiss you when you're unprepared and will laugh at you if you get startled-

May sometimes randomly text you out of pure boredom cause even though he's an incubus, boy still suffers from quarantine boredomitus-

Hwang Hyunjin(Dragon Shifter):

NSFW

Ok so...another boy with a breeding kink???!!!(If you request to not have this kink I'll avoid it)

If you're into the breeding kink thing, he will literally fill you up until you're oozing and simply cannot hold anymore of his essence-

No pregnancies though cause….gross...children *shudders in disgust*

Will degrade you until your a crying and whimpering mess for him

Will most likely demand that you beg for his cock-

He's fuckin extra like that. Don't ask me, I don't make the rules. Someone call him up and ask him why tf he's like that.

Sinful moans to the max! He's very vocal during sex!

Like...dirty talk is a must! He says some of the most sinful shit you've ever heard-

I know I mentioned degrading but damn can he praise you to the moon and back as well if you're being a good little girl/boy for him-

Enjoys calling you princess for some reason.

SFW

As a dragon, he hoards "treasures"

Which means everything shiny in your house is getting tucked away into his nest of blankets, pillows and covers.

Boy can breathe fire so he does little tricks with his fire breath for you

Make sure you tell him how talented he is or he'll get cranky

He's a sassy little shit!!!!!! Sdhkedjalwld!!!!!!!!

Teases you just to see you get upset

Since he's a dragon he can regulate his body heat so when it's cold he's basically your personal heater. 🤗

Han Jisung(Tengu):

NSFW

Bird boi is at max horniness all the time tbh.

Most of the time,since he's part crow, he will make a nest in the bed with covers and pillows before fucking you???

Don't judge him, he's born like that-

He can and will use his wings to distract you

If your successfully distracted he will pounce on you as if he were part cat instead of bird-

He likes missionary or doggy style if his wings are out so that it doesn't hurt or strain them.

He's a cocky little shit tbh-

Says some of the crudest shit just to get you flustered. He has no censor and he just keeps on goin-

Will thrust into you with no mercy because he knows his baby can take it and will use the safe word if it gets to be too much.

Does not hold back on the kinks! He will try anything at least once!

Unless its bdsm while his wings are out cause that's dangerous-

SFW

He too like Hyunjin, likes to steal your shiny objects such as jewelry and such.

It's not his fault tbh, it's purely his genetics

And in all fairness, he desperately tries not to but his genes always get the best of him-

He likes to watch you dance. He doesn't quite know why, it's just really hypnotic

Has tried to befriend birds at the park before-

Didn't work. They just flew away from him like they do normal people-

Speaking of birds, he once almost lost his shit when he saw someone throw breadcrumbs on the ground and damn near threw himself to the floor to get to them-

He's lowkey a dumbass tbh. Smh-

Lee Felix(Vampire):

NSFW

Major blood kink-

Like his dick will get 10× harder at the scent of your blood.

Being a vampire, he finds it hard to control himself around you if you start to bleed.

Will suck hickies onto your skin before, during and after sex-

He just likes the teasing temptation to bite you as he can taste the blood buildup under your skin

Will sink his teeth in your neck, wrists and thighs without so much of a second thought-

Would honestly love it if you pulled his hair while he drinks from your thighs

And then would totally eat you out as if he were starving right after feeding of you-

And honestly, he's damn good with his tongue!

Also, boy has a deep ass voice!

And if you can get off from it, he'll use it against you for sure-

SFW

Since he's a vampire, he likes to use his super speed to scare the fuck outta you

Like you'd be doin something and outta nowhere he'd pop up right in front of you-

Queue girly startled scream from you~

He'd laugh at you after cause he finds it hilarious.

He gets kinda clingy but his skin is cold so make sure you wear warm clothes when cuddling him

Speaking of cuddles-

It happens everywhere and all the time

His duality is like a light switch btw

One second he's all giggly and happy and the next he's all serious and deep voiced-....

Won't let you leave the house at night...like at all

Will most likely hunt you down if you happen to sneak past him and actually make it outside-

Kim Seungmin(Merman Shifter):

NSFW

Has a corruption kink

Choking kink to the max

Literally will eat you out in the water

Enjoys seeing you squirm

Forced submission is his domain

Will act bratty and deny you everything until you’re so worked up that you end up begging

He likes testing your limits and will push until he sees fit (with consent ofc-)

Switches between a hard and a soft dom just to confuse you

Will smile innocently as he watches you squirm, as if it wasn’t his fault because it’s not-

Literally the god of edging and orgasm denial

Is more of a lazy dom, he’ll be laying down while you suck him off as he fingers you open slowly

Can be on bottom or top, but he’s the one in control unless said otherwise

He likes it when you suck on his fingers without him having to tell you to

Will 10/10 take advantage of you if you waltz in drunk (would have to be discussed beforehand)

SFW

Literally will cling to you 24/7

You’ll walk in on him half asleep in the tub in the middle of a bubble bath at midnight

Will accidentally flood your kitchen sink because “there needs to be more water in the house”

Constantly needs to consume or be submerged in water or else he’ll get sleepy

He eats a lot of Tic-Tacs- like, a lot

Enjoys blowing up bubblegum and always has some with him

He goes crazy for bubbles so blow some with him

Likes to dance with you randomly to whatever song is playing

He enjoys planning surprise dates!

Ice cream fanatic- he goes crazy for that, it’s a wonder why he isn’t broke yet

Actually worries a lot about you and will constantly baby you

Likes to listen to soft classical music when he’s sleeping

Loves to prank you and then cuddle you afterwards because he needs attention-

Yang Jeongin(Angel):

NSFW

Boy has an oppa kink for sure-

Call him oppa, he gets a kick out of it

As an angel he has a softer way of turning you into a whining mess than the rest.

Much like Jisung, he will use his wings to distract you but will be more subtle about it-

Please say everything and anything that's unholy. He will get a kick outta that too-

Likes to please more than to be pleased

Like….sit on his face and he will go at it for hours baby-

He will honestly love to be subbed and put into his place

BUT

When he doms you, you best believe that you're in for a ride

He enjoys bdsm quite a bit. Maybe a little too much.

Like, as long as his wings are tucked in, please tie him up

And if he's dom he'll waste no time in making sure that your arms and legs are tied/cuffed to the bed posts.

Also has a sensory deprivation kink along with overstimulation-

SFW

He LOVES to be babied tbh

Like please watch disney movies with this moron

Enjoys sweets a little bit too much-

Can actually cook pretty decently so you know for sure you won't be going hungry-

Can and will sing you to sleep cause he knows he has a beautiful voice

Sassy and conceded little shit-

When bored, he will bug you for hours on end until you entertain him

Please give him extra love and affection cause he will die on the spot if you refuse to-

He's really silly and extra so be prepared for multiple surprises around the house

Like sticky notes on the fridge or counter saying "I love you" and "I may be an angel but you're my saviour" and other cheesy shit like that-

Ok but....how the hell did this also turn in a headcannons post????

Anyways enjoy and choose wisely! Remember that you can pick more than one member but if you could kindly keep the max to 3 that's be helpful-

Have fun and don't be shy to dm or ask me anything, my lovelies!!!

139 notes · View notes

illogicallyinclined · 5 years

Photo

Look At All These Boys

alright, so outside of the Canon 8 and the 5 Submitted Characters (+Teddy, who was submitted a LONG time ago), there are 7 Whole Boys to cover. that said, i think i might split this into two posts – cover 4 boys now and 3 sometime a bit later. we’ll start with

Jared Jaslow (#24) – Position: Right Wing, First Line

jared is a bastard. an absolute bastard. i mean this in the kindest way possible, though, because he also has a fantastic sense of humor

jared is Chaotic Neutral; he isn’t as destructive as remus, but he also loves to enable Many, Many Shenanigans. he is the one that created the Silence Bottom bot, and he is also responsible for the Great Furry Debate of ‘18

jared is Very Bi and Ready to Try. everyone on this team is hot, and he’s suffering for it.

fun fact: jared was a recurring side character on a Disney show when he was 8 years old. this, he claims, is when he peaked as a human being.

jared works late nights at the movie theatre and oftentimes gets free tickets for the Boys.

Payton O’Shaughnessy (#18) – Position: Left Wing, Second Line

payton is an energetic, happy guy, and he has also never had a single Intelligent Thought in his life

payton’s a party animal; he drinks like it’s going out of style, and he occasionally makes,,, questionable choices in the process. (he got his nipples pierced when he was drunk freshman year, and Nobody has let him live it down)

payton’s straight, but not like… Straight™. he WILL wolf whistle at his hot teammates, he DOES have a rainbow flag decal on his helmet, and hey. He’s Not Gay, but $20 is $20.

(payton might have become a frat bro if given the opportunity, but luckily, he ended up on a team of Good People)

payton: what the FUCK is a vegetable; logan: payton, you are going to die of scurvy

payton, after being asked Many Times in his youth, learned how to play the bagpipes. no, he’s not fucking joking.

Peter Sullivan (#20) – Position: Right Wing, Third Line, Bearer of Logan’s Sins

peter is immune to poison ivy. he found this out when he was young, and he uses this fact to terrorize new freshmen. (his favorite gag is to find some poison ivy, and visibly rub it on his face in front of his horrified peers)

peter has chromesynesthesia, meaning that sounds translate to colors for him. it isn’t uncommon for him to text the groupchat about his whereabouts and follow it up with a statement such as “sounds pretty purple, lads.”

a freshman once asked if the synesthesia makes playing hockey hard, but he’s so used to the colors that hockey sounds make by now that it is honestly a non-issue

peter is a Chronically Sweaty boy. it doesn’t matter whether or not he is exercising; if he is existing, then you can assume that he is sweating as well

peter is a master at beer pong; whereas logan can catch anything thrown his way, peter can sink almost anything instead. (he would do well in basketball if he didn’t Hate Running so much)

David Santos (#16) – Position: Center, Third Line

david is the lightweight to end all lightweights. two shots in, he feels pretty inebriated.

once, david and his twin, gabriel, went to separate hair stylists without conferring with one another to get their hair done, and they accidentally requested the EXACT SAME HAIRCUT. they truly share a single braincell.

david cannot grow facial hair to save his life. (logan and virgil silently empathize).

david used to hit the whip ironically, but now he can’t stop

david is chaotic on accident (because his life is a Mess and a single shot will have him taking his shirt off), but he is one of the least purposefully chaotic people on the team. that said, their shenanigans perplex and exhaust him.

#hockey au #jared jaslow #peter sullivan #david santos #payton o'shaughnessy #no taglist because i don't want to make u look at my messy ocs unless u actually want or need to #cursing #alcohol mention #hockey hcs #OCs

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mindthump · 3 years

Photo

Language supermodel: How GPT-3 is quietly ushering in the A.I. revolution https://ift.tt/3mAgOO1

OpenAI

OpenAI’s GPT-2 text-generating algorithm was once considered too dangerous to release. Then it got released — and the world kept on turning.

In retrospect, the comparatively small GPT-2 language model (a puny 1.5 billion parameters) looks paltry next to its sequel, GPT-3, which boasts a massive 175 billion parameters, was trained on 45 TB of text data, and cost a reported $12 million (at least) to build.

“Our perspective, and our take back then, was to have a staged release, which was like, initially, you release the smaller model and you wait and see what happens,” Sandhini Agarwal, an A.I. policy researcher for OpenAI told Digital Trends. “If things look good, then you release the next size of model. The reason we took that approach is because this is, honestly, [not just uncharted waters for us, but it’s also] uncharted waters for the entire world.”

Jump forward to the present day, nine months after GPT-3’s release last summer, and it’s powering upward of 300 applications while generating a massive 4.5 billion words per day. Seeded with only the first few sentences of a document, it’s able to generate seemingly endless more text in the same style — even including fictitious quotes.

Is it going to destroy the world? Based on past history, almost certainly not. But it is making some game-changing applications of A.I. possible, all while posing some very profound questions along the way.

What is it good for? Absolutely everything

Recently, Francis Jervis, the founder of a startup called Augrented, used GPT-3 to help people struggling with their rent to write letters negotiating rent discounts. “I’d describe the use case here as ‘style transfer,'” Jervis told Digital Trends. “[It takes in] bullet points, which don’t even have to be in perfect English, and [outputs] two to three sentences in formal language.”

Powered by this ultra-powerful language model, Jervis’s tool allows renters to describe their situation and the reason they need a discounted settlement. “Just enter a couple of words about why you lost income, and in a few seconds you’ll get a suggested persuasive, formal paragraph to add to your letter,” the company claims.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. When Aditya Joshi, a machine learning scientist and former Amazon Web Services engineer, first came across GPT-3, he was so blown away by what he saw that he set up a website, www.gpt3examples.com, to keep track of the best ones.

“Shortly after OpenAI announced their API, developers started tweeting impressive demos of applications built using GPT-3,” he told Digital Trends. “They were astonishingly good. I built [my website] to make it easy for the community to find these examples and discover creative ways of using GPT-3 to solve problems in their own domain.”

Fully interactive synthetic personas with GPT-3 and https://t.co/ZPdnEqR0Hn ????

They know who they are, where they worked, who their boss is, and so much more. This is not your father's bot… pic.twitter.com/kt4AtgYHZL

— Tyler Lastovich (@tylerlastovich) August 18, 2020

Joshi points to several demos that really made an impact on him. One, a layout generator, renders a functional layout by generating JavaScript code from a simple text description. Want a button that says “subscribe” in the shape of a watermelon? Fancy some banner text with a series of buttons the colors of the rainbow? Just explain them in basic text, and Sharif Shameem’s layout generator will write the code for you. Another, a GPT-3 based search engine created by Paras Chopra, can turn any written query into an answer and a URL link for providing more information. Another, the inverse of Francis Jervis’ by Michael Tefula, translates legal documents into plain English. Yet another, by Raphaël Millière, writes philosophical essays. And one other, by Gwern Branwen, can generate creative fiction.

“I did not expect a single language model to perform so well on such a diverse range of tasks, from language translation and generation to text summarization and entity extraction,” Joshi said. “In one of my own experiments, I used GPT-3 to predict chemical combustion reactions, and it did so surprisingly well.”

More where that came from

The transformative uses of GPT-3 don’t end there, either. Computer scientist Tyler Lastovich has used GPT-3 to create fake people, including backstory, who can then be interacted with via text. Meanwhile, Andrew Mayne has shown that GPT-3 can be used to turn movie titles into emojis. Nick Walton, chief technology officer of Latitude, the studio behind GPT-generated text adventure game AI Dungeon recently did the same to see if it could turn longer strings of text description into emoji. And Copy.ai, a startup that builds copywriting tools with GPT-3, is tapping the model for all it’s worth, with a monthly recurring revenue of $67,000 as of March — and a recent $2.9 million funding round.

“Definitely, there was surprise and a lot of awe in terms of the creativity people have used GPT-3 for,” Sandhini Agarwal, an A.I. policy researcher for OpenAI told Digital Trends. “So many use cases are just so creative, and in domains that even I had not foreseen, it would have much knowledge about. That’s interesting to see. But that being said, GPT-3 — and this whole direction of research that OpenAI pursued — was very much with the hope that this would give us an A.I. model that was more general-purpose. The whole point of a general-purpose A.I. model is [that it would be] one model that could like do all these different A.I. tasks.”

Many of the projects highlight one of the big value-adds of GPT-3: The lack of training it requires. Machine learning has been transformative in all sorts of ways over the past couple of decades. But machine learning requires a large number of training examples to be able to output correct answers. GPT-3, on the other hand, has a “few shot ability” that allows it to be taught to do something with only a small handful of examples.

Plausible bull***t

GPT-3 is highly impressive. But it poses challenges too. Some of these relate to cost: For high-volume services like chatbots, which could benefit from GPT-3’s magic, the tool might be too pricey to use. (A single message could cost 6 cents which, while not exactly bank-breaking, certainly adds up.)

Others relate to its widespread availability, meaning that it’s likely going to be tough to build a startup exclusively around since fierce competition will likely drive down margins.

Christina Morillo/Pexels

Another is the lack of memory; its context window runs a little under 2,000 words at a time before, like Guy Pierce’s character in the movie Memento, its memory is reset. “This significantly limits the length of text it can generate, roughly to a short paragraph per request,” Lastovich said. “Practically speaking, this means that it is unable to generate long documents while still remembering what happened at the beginning.”

Perhaps the most notable challenge, however, also relates to its biggest strength: Its confabulation abilities. Confabulation is a term frequently used by doctors to describe the way in which some people with memory issues are able to fabricate information that appears initially convincing, but which doesn’t necessarily stand up to scrutiny upon closer inspection. GPT-3’s ability to confabulate is, depending upon the context, a strength and a weakness. For creative projects, it can be great, allowing it to riff on themes without concern for anything as mundane as truth. For other projects, it can be trickier.

Francis Jervis of Augrented refers to GPT-3’s ability to “generate plausible bullshit.” Nick Walton of AI Dungeon said: “GPT-3 is very good at writing creative text that seems like it could have been written by a human … One of its weaknesses, though, is that it can often write like it’s very confident — even if it has no idea what the answer to a question is.”

Back in the Chinese Room

In this regard, GPT-3 returns us to the familiar ground of John Searle’s Chinese Room. In 1980, Searle, a philosopher, published one of the best-known A.I. thought experiments, focused on the topic of “understanding.” The Chinese Room asks us to imagine a person locked in a room with a mass of writing in a language that they do not understand. All they recognize are abstract symbols. The room also contains a set of rules that show how one set of symbols corresponds with another. Given a series of questions to answer, the room’s occupant must match question symbols with answer symbols. After repeating this task many times, they become adept at performing it — even though they have no clue what either set of symbols means, merely that one corresponds to the other.

GPT-3 is a world away from the kinds of linguistic A.I. that existed at the time Searle was writing. However, the question of understanding is as thorny as ever.

“This is a very controversial domain of questioning, as I’m sure you’re aware, because there’s so many differing opinions on whether, in general, language models … would ever have [true] understanding,” said OpenAI’s Sandhini Agarwal. “If you ask me about GPT-3 right now, it performs very well sometimes, but not very well at other times. There is this randomness in a way about how meaningful the output might seem to you. Sometimes you might be wowed by the output, and sometimes the output will just be nonsensical. Given that, right now in my opinion … GPT-3 doesn’t appear to have understanding.”

An added twist on the Chinese Room experiment today is that GPT-3 is not programmed at every step by a small team of researchers. It’s a massive model that’s been trained on an enormous dataset consisting of, well, the internet. This means that it can pick up inferences and biases that might be encoded into text found online. You’ve heard the expression that you’re an average of the five people you surround yourself with? Well, GPT-3 was trained on almost unfathomable amounts of text data from multiple sources, including books, Wikipedia, and other articles. From this, it learns to predict the next word in any sequence by scouring its training data to see word combinations used before. This can have unintended consequences.

Feeding the stochastic parrots

This challenge with large language models was first highlighted in a groundbreaking paper on the subject of so-called stochastic parrots. A stochastic parrot — a term coined by the authors, who included among their ranks the former co-lead of Google’s ethical A.I. team, Timnit Gebru — refers to a large language model that “haphazardly [stitches] together sequences of linguistic forms it has observed in its vast training data, according to probabilistic information about how they combine, but without any reference to meaning.”

“Having been trained on a big portion of the internet, it’s important to acknowledge that it will carry some of its biases,” Albert Gozzi, another GPT-3 user, told Digital Trends. “I know the OpenAI team is working hard on mitigating this in a few different ways, but I’d expect this to be an issue for [some] time to come.”

OpenAI’s countermeasures to defend against bias include a toxicity filter, which filters out certain language or topics. OpenAI is also working on ways to integrate human feedback in order to be able to specify which areas not to stray into. In addition, the team controls access to the tool so that certain negative uses of the tool will not be granted access.

“One of the reasons perhaps you haven’t seen like too many of these malicious users is because we do have an intensive review process internally,” Agarwal said. “The way we work is that every time you want to use GPT-3 in a product that would actually be deployed, you have to go through a process where a team — like, a team of humans — actually reviews how you want to use it. … Then, based on making sure that it is not something malicious, you will be granted access.”

Some of this is challenging, however — not least because bias isn’t always a clear-cut case of using certain words. Jervis notes that, at times, his GPT-3 rent messages can “tend towards stereotypical gender [or] class assumptions.” Left unattended, it might assume the subject’s gender identity on a rent letter, based on their family role or job. This may not be the most grievous example of A.I. bias, but it highlights what happens when large amounts of data are ingested and then probabilistically reassembled in a language model.

“Bias and the potential for explicit returns absolutely exist and require effort from developers to avoid,” Tyler Lastovich said. “OpenAI does flag potentially toxic results, but ultimately it does add a liability customers have to think hard about before putting the model into production. A specifically difficult edge case to develop around is the model’s propensity to lie — as it has no concept of true or false information.”

Language models and the future of A.I.

Nine months after its debut, GPT-3 is certainly living up to its billing as a game changer. What once was purely potential has shown itself to be potential realized. The number of intriguing use cases for GPT-3 highlights how a text-generating A.I. is a whole lot more versatile than that description might suggest.

Not that it’s the new kid on the block these days. Earlier this year, GPT-3 was overtaken as the biggest language model. Google Brain debuted a new language model with some 1.6 trillion parameters, making it nine times the size of OpenAI’s offering. Nor is this likely to be the end of the road for language models. These are extremely powerful tools — with the potential to be transformative to society, potentially for better and for worse.

Challenges certainly exist with these technologies, and they’re ones that companies like OpenAI, independent researchers, and others, must continue to address. But taken as a whole, it’s hard to argue that language models are not turning to be one of the most interesting and important frontiers of artificial intelligence research.

Who would’ve thought text generators could be so profoundly important? Welcome to the future of artificial intelligence.

#IFTTT #Feedly #good to know #tech #hmmm #TIL #science #future

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lisatelramor · 4 years

Text

Be a Better Me Ch3

AN:I know having Kaito's robot self have more or less biological functions is a little weird. But someone, even Kaito, woulda noticed him not eating. Or bleeding. Or sleeping. So weird almost biology it is.

Chapter 3

Surprisingly it’s Hakuba, not Jii, who barges into the room first.

His hair is a mess and his sleeves are rolled to his elbows with stains on his shirt that can only be ‘blood’. There’s something fragile in his expression like he’s expecting to find Kaito on his deathbed and a deep relief when Kaito meets his eyes with an impassive stare.

“You’re okay,” Hakuba says.

“For a certain value of okay, sure,” Kaito says.

Hakuba scowls. “Don’t even start. You almost died in my arms.”

“I didn’t know you cared that much,” Kaito says, only half sarcastic.

“Of course I care,” Hakuba says. “I might want to arrest Kid, but I never would want to see you dead.”

“Funny,” Kaito says drily, “because that’s what an arrest would get me.”

Hakuba bites his lip, tense as a riled cat. Kaito half expects to be pounced on like a mouse, but Hakuba takes a breath and settles. “Are you in pain?”

“I have a leg that got vivisectioned and reconstructed, a bullet hole in my shoulder and a chest full of dented ribs,” Kaito says. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know,” Hakuba says, “since I don’t know how much you feel in the first place.”

“What, the screaming didn’t make it clear?” It’s cruel to say that probably, and Hakuba goes grey-white, looking sick.

“Right,” he says. “That was a foolish question.”

“It hurts but not unbearably,” Kaito says, taking a bit of pity on him. “Like a deep bruise so long as I’m not moving. I don’t know if I’m on a painkiller or if my system’s just…filtering it out for the moment. I don’t know if I can even be affected by pain killers.”

“You can,” Hakuba says, still pale. “Some. The Professor—you can.”

“Ah.” Kaito doesn’t want to know what Hakuba saw. Well, he knows some of what he must have seen. “I haven’t taken anything since… I wasn’t sure.”

Hakuba swallows, shaking off horrors of Kaito in pieces. “You weren’t always like this,” he says.

“A robot? No.”

“When… How…?”

“Before you met me. As for the how… I can’t exactly say I get the science of it.”

Hakuba’s face pinches. “The whole time.”

“The whole time,” Kaito says tiredly. “I didn’t know for a long time, so don’t feel bad about not noticing. So far as I can tell, the whole point of…whatever it is I am was to mimic human life as close as possible.”

“You didn’t know.”

“Imagine my shock,” Kaito says, “when I found my own corpse.”

Hakuba pales impossibly further looking like he’s going to be sick. He sits heavily. “Corpse.”

“I have all the memories of Kuroba Kaito,” Kaito says as detached as he can make it. “Up to and including the moment of his kidnapping. I don’t have any memories of how he—I died.” He takes a breath. “The body’s in the basement of this building actually. His body. My body. However we’re framing it.”

“Why?” Hakuba asks horrified.

“Kuroba Kaito’s just fine,” Kaito says in a flat, dead tone. “He’s right there, going to school, living his life. Surely the body’s a mistake. It’s not like there could be two of him.” Or three. He still doesn’t know what happened to the remnants of the other robot. He doesn’t really want to look either. More honestly and openly he adds, “I don’t know what to do with it. Him. My mind says I’m him, but he’s dead and I’m not human so who the hell knows.”

Hakuba shakes his head.

“The person who made me and killed him is dead,” Kaito says. “There was another robot, a less…human… robot. It killed the doctor. Tried to kill me. I think something went wrong with its programming or maybe it wasn’t meant to mimic a human like I was. I don’t know. I know I don’t have skin that peels away or rockets in my elbows.” He sees skin peeling in his nightmares often enough.

“It feels like… there should be something…”

“To do?” Kaito gives him a cool stare. “There isn’t. There’s no justice here. There’s a corpse and there’s me, a poor replacement with a dead man’s face.” Doubly true with Kid.

Hakuba’s face twists. “You’re the only Kuroba I know. You said you didn’t even know the difference so how the hell does that make you a poor replacement?”

“Because I’m not him,” Kaito says, voice breaking, mask shattering. “You found me and you saved me, but why? The wires had to be obvious.”

“How could I not?” Hakuba says. “You were dying and aware and bleeding out in my arms, how could I not do everything to keep you alive? You might be mechanical, but you still have breath and a heartbeat and a sharp, human mind.”

“What does it say that a person can be reduced to numbers and code?”

“What does it say that emotions are just collections of chemicals and thought and memory just electric firing in the brain,” Hakuba shoots back.

“I took his place.”

“From what I can tell it sounds more like you keep him living on,” Hakuba says boldly.

Tears well up and Kaito stubbornly doesn’t shed them. “Why does everyone keep acting like I’m human?” he asks.

“In your mind are you any different?” Hakuba asks, like it’s a genuine question.

“I don’t know,” Kaito says feeling small. “I just know that physically I am.”

“Well,” Hakuba says, “I for one can’t believe a mere robot could possibly outthink the entire Japanese police force.”

Kaito snorts bitterly. “Like bots haven’t been beating humans in strategy for ages. Chess masters weep. Try again.”

“Fine,” Hakuba says. “I don’t think a robot would cry from fear and pain and express terror over dying. Or do magic tricks just to see Aoko-chan smile. Or give a damn about whether it can run circles around the Japanese police force, but we both know you have an ego that loves to be satisfied doing just that. You’re as human as can be given the circumstances.” Hakuba boldly sets a hand on Kaito’s good shoulder and Kaito stares at the point of contact. “Regardless of how your current existence started, you’re as alive as I am so far as I can tell, Kuroba-kun.”

It’s profoundly weird to be touched by Hakuba’s words, but Kaito is. It’s almost like they’re friends at the moment, not rivals. Kaito has to look away. “Thank you for not letting me die,” he says after a moment.

“There wasn’t any other choice I would have made,” Hakuba says seriously.

There’s a cough from the door, Jii standing there with a phone in hand and a tense expression. Hakuba looks at him and draws back.

“I should go,” he says. “Now that I know you’re going to survive.” He nods to Jii and walks toward the door, and a tiny part of Kaito wonders if he’ll go looking for Kaito’s body or not.

But that’s not really something important. Hakuba seeing it or not can’t bring back the dead. Jii takes Hakuba’s place at Kaito’s bedside with a sigh and slow, heavy movements that make him look every bit as old as he is.

“You’re not arresting me?” Kaito calls after Hakuba.

Hakuba glances back with the familiar expression of disdain on his face. “Kuroba, if I catch and arrest you, it’s not going to be because you’re bleeding out and vulnerable.” Like it’s obvious that he won’t take advantage of what he knows and yet also isn’t going to stop chasing Kaito. Kaito blinks. Well, Hakuba always has had his own system of honor. Kaito can’t say he understands it though.

He waves and leaves and Kaito looks at Jii to see him watching Hakuba vanish with a conflicted expression.

“Jii?”

Jii shakes his head. “I’m glad you’re okay,” Jii says quietly. “I should have been there last night, ready for anything that went wrong.”

“I’m the one that told you I’d be fine on my own,” Kaito says. “And they hit me six blocks from the heist, it’s not like we were expecting that.”

“Still. I should have been there for you.” Jii passes a hand down his face. He’s old enough to be Kaito’s grandfather, looks every year of that age, worn down and exhausted. “I spoke with your mother.”

“Oh.” Kaito tries to curl into himself but can’t and so just hunches his good shoulder and ducks his chin.

“You didn’t talk with her.”

“I… I meant to eventually.”

“Kaito-bocchama,” Jii sighs, a reprimand and exasperated care all in one.

“It’s not really something to bring up over a phone call,” Kaito says. “I was hoping…” Chikage hadn’t visited in months. When he was sixteen she’d come back every other month for a week or so, but since he turned seventeen… It was a conversation he’d hoped to have in person, or perhaps never at all if it could be avoided, no matter how much it was a needed conversation.

“She’s coming home,” Jii says tiredly.

“For Kaito,” Kaito says, meaning the real Kaito.

“For both of you,” Jii says. “You could use your mother’s support.”

There’s no point in protesting that she isn’t really his mother. Kaito just nods. “Is she… Will there be a burial for him?”

“It’s too soon to say.”

They can’t just keep Kaito in a glass box, forever preserved like some messed up Snow White tribute. It’s not what he’d have wanted. It’s not what Kaito wants. He’s not sure what he does want, but leaving his body in a box like a specimen isn’t it.

“The Hakuba boy has a surprising amount of medical and chemical knowledge,” Jii says after a moment. “There were some things he cleared up from the doctor’s notes last night. He might be able to understand them better than Hiroshi-san.”

“Are you suggesting making Hakuba a proper ally?” Kaito asks with brittle humor. “Hakuba. Hakuba whose father’s the head of Tokyo’s police forces Hakuba.”

“Hakuba-kun isn’t his father,” Jii says, “and he’s proven to care enough to ignore the legal scope of right or wrong.” He sighs again. “Kaito-bocchama, the fact of the matter is neither Hiroshi-san nor myself is an expert in this field, and you’re likely going to need more than what our knowledge can provide long term.”

“Hakuba,” Kaito stresses.

“If he’s willing you might as well take advantage of it. Otherwise we’ll have to start looking elsewhere and it’s harder to be sure who you can trust.”

Trust Hakuba or trust a stranger? Well, irritatingly, it’s pretty clear who he’s more likely to trust. It’s some kind of cosmic irony. The world, Kaito’s learning, seems to have a sick sense of humor or he wouldn’t exist at all.

It’s a scary thought though, the idea of handing over what made this body work and letting Hakuba study it. It might be more trust than he can give to anyone. With Jii he didn’t have much of a choice. “I’ll think about it,” he says.

o*O*o

It takes three days—an astonishingly fast time—for Kaito be up and walking again. In part this fast recovery is thanks to the fact that he doesn’t actually have to heal a bone; a bonus for metal bones he guesses. But on the other hand, the internal healing is taking time. The Professor had tried to explain his understanding of how Kaito’s bio-mechanical processes worked—the synthetic blood, tissue, and skin all having a self-replicating and repair process to keep him operational without needs for frequent major repairs. The technicalities go in one ear and out the other, and Kaito will have to do a lot of reading to get a better idea of how his own body works.

In the time Kaito’s stuck at the Professor’s home, Hakuba visits every day, somehow managing to be far less abrasive than normal, and maybe even verging on friendly. It’s kind of creepy and Kaito will be relieved to get on with their usual bickering banter the moment Hakuba gets over whatever weird combo of guilt and pity he seems to have for Kaito at the moment.

Most of his visits also lead to him studying Kaito though, so maybe Hakuba’s just got science on the brain instead of detective-ing. It had been more than a bit uncomfortable to have him on his knees, examining Kaito’s leg and knee joint.

Kaito’s still not sure if it was because it was Hakuba doing it, or if it’s the implications of having someone on their knees at his feet that was the bigger discomfort, and he’s not going to examine that too closely. The last thing he wants to do is find out how this body might differ on hormonal levels. He’s spent this long pushing those sorts of thought out of his head, he can keep doing that.

His leg’s in a light cast, just to ensure that everything heals up correctly, and Kaito’s already finding it obnoxious. He’s broken bones before, but every time it’s a hassle to deal with. He hobbles in circles on crutches, resigning himself to a week of this at least probably, knowing it could be a lot worse.

Most of all he just wants to go home. No offense to the Professor, but he misses his house and his bed and his doves. He’s always hated being a guest and he wasn’t exactly an invited one this time.

There’s a soft knock on the door to the guest room Kaito’s using and he sighs. Probably Agasa again. He keeps double checking Kaito’s healing and Kaito gets it, really, it’s all experimental and new, but it’s annoying and he’s vibrating out of his skin with how he can’t even literally climb the walls.

“Come in,” he says, less graciously than he should considering he is, of course, a guest. But if Agasa had a problem with Kaito’s attitude he could take it up with Jii because Kaito’s been through so many emotional rollercoaster moments lately he’s done. Just done.

There’s silence and Kaito glances up from trying to see if he could get the crutch to work more comfortably with his still healing shoulder and looks straight into familiar blue eyes. “Kaa-san,” he says numbly.

She stares, doesn’t come closer to hug him or say anything and Kaito remembers; he’s not her son.

“…I didn’t think you’d be back so soon,” Kaito says to break the silence.

“I’d have been here sooner if I could,” she says. There’s nothing in her voice to let on what she’s thinking and Kaito can’t remember ever seeing her so closed off. It’s her version of Toichi’s poker face and it’s an iron wall.

The silence stretches and the guilt rises back up in his gut. “I… should have said something as soon as I re—”

“What did we do for your last birthday?” Chikage asks, cutting him off.

Kaito blinks. “We… went out to dinner with Aoko to that Korean barbecue place. We shared bulgogi and you took me to get a tailored suit because you said it was a good time to have nice formal wear that actually fit.” She’s almost cried because he looked so much like his dad when he was younger.

“When did you lose your first tooth?” Chikage says, showing no reaction.

“When I was six and a half,” Kaito says immediately. “I lost both my front teeth because I messed up a flip and landed on my face.” It had hurt and he’d cried, terrified that he’d lost them for good until his mom explained he was going to lose them anyway. They hadn’t even been very loose, just starting to wiggle. “I drank from the gap with a straw until they started to grow back in.”

Something in Chikage’s shoulders loosens, but her face still remains a wall. “Why are you afraid of fish?”

Kaito flinches, instinctively trying not to remember one of his childhood traumas. “C-can I not answer that? F-finny things are evil and whoever created koi ponds is a sadist.”

“And what wat your first magic trick?”

“Vanishing coin,” Kaito says. “Only I had trouble with it so Oyaji had to show me about four different ways to do it before I was able to get one I could make work. Of course then I had to get all of them right over the next month.”

Chikage closes her eyes and lets out a slow sigh. “Kaito.”

“Yes?”

She shakes her head. “No, you don’t understand. You’re still Kaito.”

He realizes she was testing him. Testing how close to Kaito he was and he curls in on himself. “I’m what’s left of him.”

She shakes her head again, but finally crosses the room to pull him into her arms. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Kaito asks, off balance and vulnerable, feeling like a child in her arms. He has the memories but technically he’s never been a child. Or, well, technically he isn’t even a year old yet.

“I wasn’t here when you needed me,” she says. “You’ve always been so self-sufficient that I forget sometimes you’re not an adult yet.”

“I’m not a kid.”

“Well you’re my kid, and I haven’t been a very good mother.” She holds him a bit tighter. “I’m going to try to do better.”

“But I’m not your Kaito,” Kaito says.

“You’re not,” she says and it’s almost a relief to hear it even as it hurts, for someone to acknowledge that he isn’t the same. “But I’ll mourn him in my own time and you’re him in every other way that matters. You’re not a replacement,” Chikage whispers, voice shaking, “but you are a part of him.”

“Have you seen…?”

“No. I wanted to see you first.”

And make sure he really is her son, in a way. Kaito closes his eyes. He can feel her shake, crying silently, but he makes no effort to move from the embrace. He needs this too. This is a situation where there is no winner. Her son is dead, and there’s an identical false copy in his place, like Kid pulling of a jewel heist. Kaito just isn’t sure what his flaws are yet, apart from the physical, that mark him out as the fake. He’s lucky that they seem to love him anyway.

Chikage pulls away, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. “Thank you. I know it’s been you I’ve talked with for months now, but…”

“You had to be sure,” Kaito says, understanding.

Chikage nods. “Are you well enough to come home or are you still under observation?”

Kaito pouts. “I think I’m fine, but Jii and the Professor want to do another day of tests just to make sure my leg is healing right.”

“Jii mentioned it was bad.”

“Well, they replaced the fibula in my leg and had to fix all the connections and my knee joint so…”

She looks a little paler, glancing at his walking cast with new understanding. “You shouldn’t be walking at all.”

“I don’t heal like a human does,” Kaito says with a grimace. “It’s…faster. You’d think I wouldn’t need to heal at all but the bastard that built this apparently liked realism.”

“That’s probably for the better,” Chikage says after a moment. “If you functioned too differently…”

He’d what, stop feeling human? Kaito’s already there, feeling like some unholy science experiment most of the time instead of a robot, but that’s honestly not really better. He’s not going to say that to his mother though. If he was a little more robot he’d hurt less, probably feel less… and possibly end up exactly like the other robot. Shit. Okay, yeah, maybe the realism is for the best.

“Jii said you haven’t had lunch yet,” Chikage cuts into his thoughts, “and that it’s important that you do.”

Kaito grimaces again. “Yeah. Funnily enough, my system processes food for fuel just like a human’s. It’s no wonder I never noticed anything was different. But they have me on a weird diet because apparently the fake skin and all,” he gestures at his leg, “it can self-repair, but it needs certain building blocks to do it. If I see another kale protein shake I am going to throw it at them.”

Chikage laughs, wiping the last of her grief from her face. “I’ll have to see if I can put together something that tastes better.”

“Please. Also I haven’t had sugar in days. I’m having withdrawal.”

“…Can you get withdrawal?”

“I have no idea, but I’m craving chocolate like crazy.”

She snorts. “You always have liked chocolate.” Her hip bumps his good side gently, like the times growing up when he helped in the kitchen. “I’ll see what I can do.”

While Chikage works her magic in the kitchen with help of the Professor and Jii, Kaito gives in to the restlessness and hobbles back and forth around the wide open living area. The Professor, for all he’s an inventor and scientist, seems to also be a bit of a mystery and romance geek. He has a collection of hard-bound novels on a bookcase, and while there’s a few science books in the mix, most of it’s fiction.

Kaito would like to be playing with a deck of cards, or spending some quality time with his doves, but since his cards were ruined along with his Kid suit and he doesn’t have any of his birds on hand, a novel isn’t the worst way to pass time. Although Kaito’s never been a huge mystery fan. He wrinkles his nose at the Sherlock Holmes collector’s edition. Hakuba’d like that.

Kaito has just started in on a romance instead—very tasteful cover full of wistful stares and absolutely no nudity—when his mom wanders out of the kitchen with a blender full of something that looks chocolatey. Jii follows with his hands full of kale like he expects Kaito to choke that down raw. Gross.

“Well, I couldn’t get a concession on the shake, but this will taste a lot better,” Chikage says with a grin. “Plus, chocolate.”

“Heck yeah,” Kaito says.

“You really should,” Jii starts, but Kaito’s mother waves him off.

“One meal isn’t going to hurt.”

So Kaito puts down the book, hobbles over to get a glass, and that’s when the front door opens without even a knock, and a child wanders in with a scowl behind oversized, thick rimmed glasses.

“Hakase, I need a breath of sanity and some help with the watch,” the child says, not looking up as he kicks off shoes like he lives here. “It keeps sticking when… I…” He catches sight of the group standing in the hall between the kitchen and living room. His eyes flick from Chikage’s pitcher, to Jii’s handful of kale and land on Kaito’s crutches, following up to his face where the gaze freezes. “What the hell?”

“Well,” Kaito says, “that’s the first time an elementary student’s sworn at me.”

“Aoko-chan swore at you all the time,” Chikage corrects.

“That was when we were both in elementary school. There’s a difference.”

“Hakase?” the child calls a bit louder, uncertain.

The Professor bustles out of the kitchen. “Ah, S-Conan-kun, I didn’t know you were coming over!”

“What’s going on?” Conan asks. Kaito realizes this is the kid he saw from the Professor’s roof that one time. Clearly he’s pretty close to Agasa, but it’s not like Agasa’s going to go around spilling secrets to a six year old.

Agasa looks between Conan and Kaito’s group. “Ah, I have a few guests at the moment, Conan-kun, and I’m doing some work as a favor for a friend.”

“A friend,” Conan says, his shock turning sharper.

Kaito shivers as those eyes pass over him again. It’s like he’s being dissected by a laser beam, and Conan’s weirdly interested in his face.

“Yes.” Agasa laughs awkwardly. “Jii Kounosuke is an old friend, and the others are…”

“More or less his extended family,” Chikage cuts in cheerfully. She glanced Conan over. “He looks just like you did when you were that age, Kai-chan,” she says. “Well, a bit neater than you ever were.”

“Are you saying I was a slob?”

“Kaito, honey, your hair has never laid flat a day in your life. Add that to your tumbling and getting into trouble…”

Kaito scowls. The kid looks like someone stuffed him into nice clothes like they’re trying to make him a mini adult, what with the blue suit jacket and tiny bow tie and how his hair’s carefully combed. Can’t help having a cowlick though. And those shorts… What a dorky sense of style. Conan catches him looking and scowls right back. Defensive little guy.

“Who are they anyway?” the kid asks, his voice tilting up like he’s trying to sound younger than he looks, which kind of fails with his entire body language, but Kaito’s not going to be the one to give him acting lessons. It probably works on some people, but that’s because a lot of adults barely look twice at children. “He looks a lot like…”

“Ah, this is Kuroba Chikage and her son Kaito,” Agasa says. “And that’s Edogawa Conan. He’s—”

“Related to the Kudos isn’t he?” Chikage says, looking at Conan intently. “He looks so much like their son Shinichi did as a child.”

Conan blinks rapidly. “Uh. Shinichi-nii-san is my cousin,” he says. “Wait, Kuroba as in the magician Kuroba Toichi?”

Chikage grins. “Exactly the one. You remember Yukiko don’t you, Kaito?” she asks tilting her head in Kaito’s direction.

“Uh.” Yukiko, Yukiko… He had a vague recollection of an actress and a smiling woman with ringlets in her light brown hair. “Not well.”

Chikage pats him on the shoulder. “You were five, so I’m not too surprised. You were such a charmer, giving her a flower and everything.”

The memory comes into focus, handing off a flower to a beaming woman because his father had said that’s what you do when you met a pretty girl; you were polite and gave them flowers to leave a good first impression. He’d done the same to Aoko not long after too. “Oh yeah.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet a relative of theirs at any rate,” Chikage says. She finally hands Kaito a glass of protein shake and he almost fumbles it before holding it with his bad arm and keeping his good one for the crutch.

“Yeah,” Conan says, flicking Kaito yet another look.

“Is it the injuries?” Kaito jokes, “because I assure you it’s normally my charisma drawing attention.”

It’s both hilarious and cute how Conan’s nose wrinkles for a split second before he covers it up again—definitely needs acting lessons—and shrugs. “You just look a lot like Shinichi-nii-san.”

Chikage laughs. “They would wouldn’t they?” she says, and Kaito doesn’t get the joke really, but fine. There’s apparently a guy running around with a face that could be his own. At least this time it’s not another murder-bot so he’ll take it.

Of course, face doubles make him think of the corpse downstairs, and that’s… Yeah. Yeah, no, not thinking too close about that. At least this double must be running around alive and well he supposes.

Well as interesting as being confronted by a child half his size is, Kaito has other things to be doing. Namely eating, sitting, and trying to convince his mom and Jii to take him home. “Right,” Kaito says. “We were going to have lunch, but that’s taken care of.” He mock toasts with his glass as much as he can with his arm in a sling. “It looks like you need to talk, so we’ll be in the kitchen.”

Conan shuffles like he’s feeling a little guilty for barging in, but it’s not like he interrupted anything actually important. However he’s feeling, it isn’t enough to keep him from gripping the Professor’s sleeve and pulling him off to have a private conversation.

Kaito sinks into a kitchen chair and takes a sip of his shake. Mm, chocolate. “This tastes ten times better than what they’ve been feeding me.

“It’s not nearly as healthy,” Jii says with a sigh.

“You know, you absorb more nutrients when you enjoy what you eat,” Kaito shoots back. Humans did anyway. But since there's no way of knowing if that applies to him, he’s just going to claim that factoid as valid.

Jii sighs like he’s the victim. It’s not even his taste buds.

Chikage snorts and pours herself her own glass. “He’s always been picky,” she says to Jii.

“I’m not picky.”

“You cut most seafood out of your diet and you live in Japan.”

“I’ll eat ffff—seafood,” he grumbles. “But only the kind I like. Shrimp and crabs and clams are fine. And it’s not like I boycott anything that has finny things as an ingredient, it’s just the less it resembles them the better.”

“See?” she says to Jii. “Picky.”

Kaito rolls his eyes. The chocolate shake, whatever else is in it aside, helps. Sitting here with his mom helps. He hadn’t realized how much he missed her actually being there, but it’s calming. Even though he knows it doesn’t work that way, having a parent present makes him feel a bit more like things are going to be okay. Like somehow Chikage will fix things even though he knows full well that’s not how it works. She can’t just sweep in and fix the Kaito downstairs or make Kaito actually human. She can’t wipe away any new traumas either. Couldn’t when Toichi died, can’t now. Parents aren’t all powerful and don’t have all the answers. But it’s pretty nice to let her take over being the adult for the moment.

He’s tired.

The last swallow of shake is rich on his tongue. He could probably pick apart what’s in it, but he’d rather enjoy it. Especially because life keeps reminding him how fleeting the good moments are lately.

“So, could I go home if I promise to let Hakuba look me over every twelve hours or something? Pretty sure I’m not going to fall apart at this point.”

Jii looks heavenward like he’s asking for patience. Chikage pats Kaito’s shoulder. “One more night,” she says. “I’ll talk to Agasa-san about what we can do to keep track of how you’re doing at home.” Her smile slips a bit. “I have a few arrangements to make before we move you anyway.”

“Ah.” Right… “Do you want me to come with you to…?”

She shakes her head. “I’d like a bit of privacy if that’s okay.”

“Yeah.” Kaito looks at the empty glass in his hand. “He’s your son so…”

Jii coughs softly and takes their glasses to wash them and Chikage stands to go face her dead son. She gives Kaito a wan smile and he wishes he could keep her from going and looking. She needs to look, but if it haunts Kaito, it’s definitely going to haunt his mother.

Kaito flees for the roof for lack of better places to go. He takes the romance book with him but he kind of doubts he’ll end up reading it.

It’s another beautiful day. It feels like the weather should reflect such heavy things like dead sons and imperfect copies, but nature doesn’t care what the piddly beings scrambling around on the earth’s surface are experiencing, it just does what it always does.

He ends up pulling out his cracked cell phone, now with a strip of clear tape across its front to keep from breaking worse until he can get a new one. There’s an unread message from Hakuba that goes on and on about the chemical properties of Kaito’s blood compound. Apparently Hakuba must have borrowed his grandfather’s lab space again. “So glad I’m providing you entertainment,” Kaito texts back sarcastically.

“You should know how your body works,” Hakuba sends almost immediately. “I’ll be over tomorrow to go through more research notes.”

It’s Hakuba who’d eventually hacked into the doctor’s personal computer. Kaito doesn’t doubt that the facility upstairs had been full of even more detailed information, but there had been enough filed in the remains of the living area and foundry for everyone to work with. Agasa might have been able to use the synthetic blood from the chest freezer and patch Kaito’s skin with similar samples, but it’s Hakuba who’s intent on understanding how they work and can be reproduced. It’s just weird how Hakuba’s not hounding him about the Kid thing at all.

“I might go home tomorrow. I’m trying to make it today, but they’re not budging.”

“Kuroba, don’t be an idiot. Your leg is still in a delicate state and we still don’t know if the loose wire in your head he fixed was the only one.”

“Vision has been working normal and no brain problems here. Besides, my mom is here and she’s going to be watching closer than Jii probably.”

“It’s good for there to be another set of eyes,” is all that Hakuba sends back and Kaito scowls at the message.

There’s a few from Aoko, worried about him, but he’d made it sound like he had a bit of an accident and was fine but not really up for visitors. It would only work for so long, so that is another reason to return home. Kaito’s life is a mess these days. Just one lie after another.

Although… less lies at the moment than there have been. He wants to believe that’s a good thing, but less lies mean more people hurt with the knowledge that Kaito’s dead. It’s a tossup whether it’ll be a relief long term or just another problem.

#detective conan #magic kaito #robot kaito #fanfiction #my writing #chapter breaks are all roughly 5000 some words btw #if anyone was wondering at arbitrary cut off points

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botslayer · 5 years

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Top Ten games of the 2010′s

This trend seems to be doing the rounds at the moment and seeing as I’ve been gaming for about as long as I can remember, It just feels right. So, let’s get into it. But first, worth saying: These aren't really in any specific order, it's just the games I've personally had the most fun with overall, but it's pretty hard to decide what the hard numbers on things you enjoy for different reasons are if that makes any sense. 10. The 2010's weren't exactly the best time for anyone, I think. For me they were a slog of finding myself and learning things I wish I didn't. Amid all those things I wanted some levity. The world needs something and stupid. We got a lot of it ion 2013 but I feel like we could have used it scattered around a bit more. In that spirit, allow me to show you one hell of a pick me up:

Saints Row 4

Saints Row 4 does not give a fuck. It is aggressively demonstrating that the entire time you play. It doesn't care in the slightest what you think or why, It just wants to show you cool, if juvenile, and interesting, if weird shit. It's the finer points of Ratchet and Clank's arsenal, SR3's humor, And superpowers that genuinely put Prototype and Infamous in a blender and tell you to go ape shit with them. The soundtrack isn't top shelf, it's the roof of the building the shelf is in. Saints Row Two had a better story overall but SR Four's was just plain fun and a solid enough story to still be invested.

The DLC was just as irreverent and madcap, Featuring everything from an evil Santa Clause to evil Gimps on Game of thrones chairs made of dildos Or Tropey-ass costumes and weapon reskins that I'd be genuinely surprised the game dev didn't get sued over. It has earned its place in my top 10 and I will die by that decision.

2016 saw the advent of a new genre. They blended TF2 and MOBAs, and we got hero shooters in their first AAA forms, Overwatch and Battleborn. But neither of these games is on this list, much as I liked them. Partly because the whole time, I kept thinking of one simple question: "Why do I keep thinking of...?"

Anarchy Reigns

Anarchy Reigns is my favorite Platinum game. Full Stop. The Story mode is interesting and has genuinely good character moments, the characters themselves are completely mental, ranging from a mercenary with a bionic cat leg that secretly has a gun built into it to a giant cyborg bull-man with a jet-powered hammer. The soundtrack is mostly angry hip-hop, making every song a banger and fittingly speedy for things like random bombing runs from jet fighters that come from absolutely nowhere.

There are giant monsters, cars with mounted flame throwers, giant robots, and the online is still pretty sweet because even when abandoned, loading it up with bots still rules. I regularly have more fun with this than I ever did with Overwatch, and I don't care how insane that sounds.

Some games want to make you feel something and fail. Some games make you feel some things accidentally, for example, a desperate need to laugh. This game made me feel like a human blender. Like a Chthonic god of mangled flesh and raw destructive power. Nyarlathotep ain't got nothing on me. I speak, of course, of...

[Prototype] 2

There's no end to the absolute destruction you feel like you're causing in this game. It feels more fluid than the first, the main character is a pinch more relatable, and all the body horror, superpowers, zombie hordes, and big old monsters make for some of the most memorable and fun moments and fights in gaming. The DLC is also pretty solid, adding new fun side challenges, and new powers and weapons that elevate you from "Flesh god" to "Screw physics, I made them" Omnipotent. Best god/monster simulation of all time.

Sometimes some games are at an honest tie in your mind. Be it that you like them for essentially the same reasons, or for completely different reasons, but the overall total joy or entertainment they bring is roughly equivalent. Here, we have a case of the former:

Furi/Cuphead

Both games have a tight focus on giving players a unique, boss-centric challenge, both have interesting, somewhat minimal narratives, and both are absolute eye candy.

Furi has a more "Samurai Jack" Quality to me. A complete badass on a relatively simple quest with a somewhat minimalistic art style learning some things as he goes.

Cuphead on the other hand, nails that rubber hose animation style, and the fun levity of such animations while still making the player's ability to interact with the world damn impactful and fun.

They share a spot in my soul, games I love everything about but will never be able to finish. Hats off to both dev teams.

Now here we have another tie. Mostly because the games are so close together, they need to be evaluated more or less as one product IMO, not enough changed for me to consider them separate games, fortunately, that is the furthest thing from an insult it can be in this situation. I present to you, my next pick(s).

Costume Quest 1/2

Now, This might seem pretty random considering my other picks, but honestly, I love Halloween, I love creative madness, I love subversion, I love good characters, and I love cool action, these games have all these things by the bucketload.

The first game is a wild ride through Halloween in multiple very lively locations and the second, slightly confusing as it is, is pretty awesome for the things it introduces, including time travel. Other elements, like the battle stamps, the truly epic forms of everything in the fights, The ability to customize your costumes, etc. they blur together in a pretty big way, but again, there's not a thing wrong with that when both games rock like crystal candy.

Now, if you hadn't noticed, all of the games on this list have had some hard action at their core, and while I don't HATE calmer games, a lot of the time, so many are kinda dull to me in that with the exception of easter eggs of some sort, most farming sims, for example, just have you doing normal farm stuff with very few twists, may as well start a real farm in that case. My most chill entry is a game that tosses that to one side, asks you to grab a suck cannon, and start harvesting gelatinous monster poop.

Slime Rancher

While you don't spend a lot of time actually interacting with other characters, they just talk at you, the story of the game is pretty effective, the player character of Beatrix has left Earth for a simpler life of Slime Ranching, which entails the raising of alien crops, delightfully derpy and colorful chickens, and going all around in an attempt to farm new breeds of slime for their genetic material to sell off or trade-in for the creation of gadgets while being surrounded by a cast of interesting characters. It's all very wholesome family fun.

The game looks great, has great ideas, and is genuinely the best farming game I have ever played. @ me all you want.

The 80's are almost fetishized nowadays. Given all the property reboots, games that go for the vibe and aesthetic of the time, etc. It almost seems as though the eighties vibe train ain't gonna stop rolling any time soon. But we owe it to ourselves to remember the first big swipe of madcap neon-colored actiony B-movie bullshit and how mind-meltingly epic it was. Ladies, Gents, and whatever else, I present:

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Blood Dragon's story is relatively simple, you play Sargent Rex "Power" Colt (A name said in full so many times I thought his last name was "Powercolt" for the longest time), a former "Omega force" cyborg. Rex and his friend "Spider" were sent into a secret island base to investigate the supposed defection and treachery of their old commander, Ike Sloan. It turns out he has gone rogue and taken an army of "Mark 5" Omegaforce cyber-soldiers with him. What follows is a long story of betrayal, science fiction of the highest nonsensical level, comedy, and brilliantly cathartic action.

The collectibles range from data on animals, to research notes from a scientist, to literal VHS cassette tapes that have full descriptions of movies that I would legitimately watch if I could. "You may now kill the brides" is not a real film and I am angry for every day that that is true. Anyway, play Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, I dunno if it's on PS4 but it's one game I'd buy a new/old console for.

A lot of superhero games NEED to railroad you. Your goals MUST be to save the lives of the people and help the weak and all that. But one dev asked the simple question: "What if it didn't?" "What if the player chose how to use their power? What if the player could be as evil or as good as they damn well pleased?" One game gave you the powers of thunder and lightning and asked what you'd do with it. It's sequel asked you the same, but against more... interesting forces.

InFamous 2

InFamous 2 is a game about making choices, just like the first one, also just like the first one, it can have an effect on gameplay. That effect went from "What does this particular power do in this allignment?" To "Which new set of NEW powers would you like?" The forces of the last game went from “Three flavors of gun-toting whackos” To “Possibly an allegory for the Klan, Swamp monsters, and Ice-powered super soldiers.”

This was, and still is, the best game in the whole series, The powers felt distinct from anything else and still do, the story is solid as a rock, and the enemy types were still varied enough to be interesting, I miss the Reapers from the first game, but that's about it. Everything else was a massive step up. If you have something that can run it, play it.

Action is something I think we can all appreciate on some level. We can understand when it does or does not work, we can understand when we do or do not like how it feels when we are the ones partaking in it. EX: Any schlep can tell you when the weapons in your game lack impact, or when your character moves too slow for the game to be fun. The following game is something I can't say anything of the sort about. And it's kind of like Wolfenstein, when you have enemies this bad, who the hell cares how many you kill?

Doom 2016

Y'all are lying if you say you didn't expect this one. It's DOOM 2016. This game is made of hate and fuck. AND I LOVE IT. You move so fast, you may as well be half cheetah and half sports car. You slaughter the dregs of hell by the dozens and even the biggest, baddest things this game throws at you can be beaten with the starting pistol if you have the stones for it. It looks amazing graphically, the demons all look appropriately threatening, and even the Multiplayer is a great deal of fun in my book.

Something worth noting: The story presented by default is pretty barebones, but that's where supplementary material fills in the gaps, the difference between supplementary material in most games and supplementary material here is the material is till IN THE GAME. You're free to ignore most of the plot as it happens around you, and even interesting tidbits of the lore like how certain demons function. Not only are these things missable collectibles, prompting continued play to find them, they are also pretty interesting reads. So yeah, just about everything you could want in a sequel/remake, builds the on lore and gameplay very organically.

And here we are, the last game I'd put in this category. An entire decade, and here, we end on the last game that left such an impact I'd put it in my top ten. But first, let's talk about expectations and delivery: When you say a game is coming out, there are certain expectations you have for gameplay, EX: I say "Ratchet and Clank" and you expect a TPS with platforming elements and crazy guns. I say "Gears of War" and people expect something to do with lumbering about in big armor, dismembering things with a chainsaw gun and otherwise shooting them to paste. We might also expect changes to things, better graphics, innovations in grenade variety, something as that franchise goes on.

After the last game in this series was released, there were tons of people who felt let down and disappointed by it. Then they released the still somewhat disappointing special edition of it. They were both still fun, but neither really felt like the full next step in the series. After a failed reboot, they returned to the original story and the lot of us rejoiced. And when it finally came out? It was a step up in most, if not, all regards, to its predecessors. You know what this last one is. Please, give a warm round of applause to:

Devil May Cry 5

A game that was not only a return to form, but a major escalation in gameplay for one character, and a new style of gameplay all together by way of yet another new character. It didn’t exactly hurt that the story kicked ten kinds of ass and that the game looked spectacular in both the design of everything and the actual graphical fidelity.DMC 5 is, like DOOM, Like InFamous 2, Like [PROTOTYPE] 2, everything you want in a good sequel. It built very well on already solid foundations and it was generally just a fun, slightly goofy, massively stylish, and ultra badass ride. I recommend this, and all these games, to anyone.Good night everyone, have a great 2020. And the rest of the decade, for that matter.

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goldenworldsabound · 5 years

Text

I’m Not Like You II

Directly follows Part 1. The gang waits out a storm by going to a bar.

Content warning for guns and minor death

"Here...I'll get us some grub." Wendy suggested, pushing Philly's coin filled hand away from Casey. "On me." She grinned, nodding.

"Really? Are you sure?" Philly asked, looking genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, I am. I'll scout out and see if there are any good bars too. If we have to wait for the storm to pass we might as well have fun." She replied.

"Oh! Uh. Sure thing. Thanks." Philly responded, rubbing the back of his head, still looking puzzled. Wendy smiled and turned to walk off. Philly watched her go, eyeing certain parts of her anatomy before she disappeared from sight.

"Hm." He was puzzled. It had only been a few days since their argument. But in that time, Wendy had done almost a 180. Sure they still bickered over small things, but nothing quite so big as...that time. She hadn't been violent or threatening at all. It was...odd.

He stuck his hands in his back pockets, still thinking. In his defense, he had been nicer too, he thought. Touching less on touchy subjects. Even if she didn't wanna sleep with him...she was still nice to have around. He appreciated that she had stuck around and even started being nicer. And she was reliable, unlike the useless, irritating bots-

"Philly!" Speak of the devil. Sam and Casey clambered out of Bessie, walking over to him. "What are we doing now?" Sam asked.

"Ah?" Philly blinked, thinking it over. "Well, all we really needed was the food, and Wendy's handling it..." Thunder rumbled overhead. "You can wait inside until Wendy gets back. Then we'll go to a bar and hang out while we wait."

"Shouldn't you come inside too? You don't wanna get wet, do you?" Casey asked, tilting her head.

"I'll take a smoke break first. Then we'll see." Philly replied, shrugging.

"Suit yourself." Casey said.

"Let us know when Wendy comes back!" Sam added, before the two headed back to the car.

Philly popped a cigarette in his mouth, lighting it and leaning back against the side of the pink car.

Maybe he did like having her around, after all.

---------------------------

It was good to be in the warm bar now that it had started pouring outside. The storm was quite bad. Philly was glad they'd put the hood up on Bessie and stopped. The rain was sheets outside the window. No good for driving, no good for existing.

And besides, Wendy had bought him his first drink. So he'd bought her a second one. She didn't seem to hold her liquor very well and Philly found this interesting - she was already drunk, a giggly mess as she talked to other bar patrons. He watched, not really feeling the two drinks at all. He didn't think he should drink too much anyway. There was a nonzero chance he'd get recognized, and attacked, and he didn't feel like dying again. He sipped a third beer regardless.

Sam was happily eating potato chips, while Casey seemed to be making friends with another small robot. His eyes settled on Wendy. She seemed to be having fun enough. He sighed. She looked so...animated, and excited. Her cheeks were pink. Hm. All those men ogling her...it bugged him a little, but he shook it off.

"Hey there, sweetie." A lady approached him, swaying her hips flirtatiously before sitting next to him.

He threw on his best grin. "Hey."

"What's a man like you doing in a place like this?" She asked, putting her hand on his leg. Philly reciprocated the flirting.

Philly had mistakenly believed that Wendy was all but ignoring him. In reality, she was keeping a close eye on him despite her drunken state. As the woman put her hands on Philly, Wendy felt herself growing hot and angry. She didn't like the feeling. She was too drunk to give it much thought. Fine. Two can play at that game.

She grabbed one of the men near her at random, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Well aren't you a mighty fine gent." She said loudly, batting her baby blues at him. Just like you said, Philly. The man was quite taken immediately, wrapping his arms around her and leering lewdly at her.

Philly looked up from what he was doing, scowling. What the...? She hadn't seemed the type. And that guy looked like a fucking moron. He felt jealousy rising in his chest. No. Fine. Whatever. She wanted to fuck with a moron, not his problem. Whatever. Fine.

"Something distracting you?" The woman placed a hand on his cheek, turning his attention back to her.

"...yeah, just a friend of mine being dumb." Philly replied, no longer feeling particularly interested in trying to hook up with anyone. "I mean, look at that guy, what could she possibly want with him?"

Wendy, of course, saw the woman's hand go to Philly's cheek, his expression hidden from her, and grew further irritated. She fawned over the man in front of her, being perhaps touchier than she should have. The man was content with it, but she was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the way his hands had settled on her hips, and the smell of the alcohol on his breath so close to her, and his gaze never endingly searching her body...

He leaned in to kiss her, and she put her hand over his lips.

"Mm, no, sorry, I'm just using you to make a friend jealous." She said perhaps too honestly, pushing him away. "Don't get so excited."

The man furrowed his brow, frowning at her. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, I shouldn't have said that. But um. I'm done now." Wendy replied, hopping off the bar stool. She tried to walk away, but the man grabbed her by the wrist, keeping her there.

"I was promised something, and I expect you to fulfill that promise." The man slurred at her, anger clear in his tone.

Philly was watching carefully now, despite the protests of his lady friend. With an irritated sigh she got up and walked away.

"I didn't promise you shit, bitch!!!" Wendy yelled, trying to shake her hand loose. She was unsuccessful. His grip tightened. She winced. "I didn't wanna have to do this but-" She reached for the knife in her pocket. The man was faster, and grabbed her other arm. He stood up as well, beginning to drag her towards the door.

"That's too bad. You'll be coming with me anyway."

"Let her go." Philly pointed his guns at the man, scowling.

"Philly?!?! I don't need your fucking help, bITCH." Wendy replied, looking angry. "I don't need-"

"Shut up, you clearly do. And don't call me a bitch!!!" Philly yelled back, bristling.

"If you two idiots are done arguing, we'll be going now-"

"HIIIYAAAAH!" Wendy kicked the man in the stomach without warning. Startled and in pain, he released his grip. Drunk and unsteady after her kick, Wendy toppled to the ground, head swimming. "Aaah, fuck."

"God you're a fucking idiot." Philly grabbed her arm, pulling her to her feet with one hand, the other keeping a gun firmly fixed on the man.

"YoU'RE a fucking idiot, idiot." She grumbled back, pouting as she leaned on him. She'd had a few more drinks while flirting and she was completely unsteady on her feet now. "Philly the KiDIOT."

He opened his mouth to speak, and closed it again with a sigh.

"Casey! Sam! We're leaving!" Philly yelled.

"No, you ain't-" Philly shot the man square in the forehead before he could finish, tired of the entire situation.

"Anyone ELSE wanna fuck with me?!" Philly asked, looking around the room furiously. Everyone returned to what they were doing before, unbothered by the death. That's just how it was out here in these little towns. He gave a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness."

"I coulda taked him." Wendy interrupted, nearly hitting Philly in the face as she pointed with her index finger. "I fucking had him-"

"Motherfucker, will you shut up already? How many drinks did you have, for fuck's sake?!" Philly asked, while Sam and Casey watched with interest.

"Sssix." Wendy replied, holding up two fingers. "Six."

"...didn't you tell me earlier you almost never drink?" Philly asked.

"Yep." Wendy replied, smiling stupidly. "But this was important."

With Casey and Sam following and babbling about their various exploits, Philly led Wendy out of the bar and into the rain.

"We're going back to Bessie and then you can tell me EXACTLY why you thought this was a good fucking idea." Philly growled.

"I ain't telling you shit." She replied proudly. Philly groaned.

#eternal roadtrip #fic #self ship #self shipping #self insert #hehehehe this was fun to write

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incorrectly-quoted-queers · 5 years

Text

Drunk Punch Love 2: Chapter 1

Pairing: FemShep and Garrus Vakarian (Shakarian)

Rating: PG-13 (with some tossed F-bombs)

Summary: Their awkward, badass journey through saving the galaxy and accidentally falling in love

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22089466/chapters/54170929

Part 2- Chapter 1: Breathe Again

"Wake up, Shepard!"

As she fell through the haze of darkness and brain fog, she saw flashes of dark space, burning light, and bright blue eyes. When her eyes started to flutter open to a blindingly white lab ceiling and the loud voice sharpened until she could identify it as a woman's. Memories were starting to come back to her, and she was only more confused realizing that the last thing she knew, her lungs were popping and she was dying. On instinct, she clutched her chest, but her lungs were functioning just fine, sucking in normal air.

And based on the heart thudding in her chest, dying wasn't the case anymore.

She didn't really have the time to think about that for long, though. Between the overcom instructions and muscle memory, she basically ran like a bot on command. Anya understood she was in a Cerberus facility, and she got that yes, she did die, but they brought her back, and that this Jacob guy was way too friendly. But past that? She just shot shit and hoped it worked out. Lucky for her, some of her muscles felt even nicer than she remembered.

By the end of it, she was helping out the uncomfortably attractive Miranda person and too-friendly Jacob survive their own base. The weird part, though, was having other people all up in arms about protecting her. Because from what she could gather, the organization pumped billions of credits into her.

If she was ever asked how much weight on her back might finally break her, billions might do it.

Anya still couldn't quite wrap her head around it. Culture and firefights were her wheelhouse. Economics were not. All the numbers and metrics Miranda kept throwing just gave her dark flashbacks to when her mother abandoned her in Alliance accounting to "learn a thing or two" and she just ended up hiding in a closet.

Mostly unrelated, that's how she met her first crush, Ryel. He was also hiding from "learning a thing or two".

Honestly, Anya wasn't even sure her brain knew how to process linear time until they were back at another Cerberus base. Jacob had asked her some questions about her record and memory, but she did that on autopilot.

Hopefully she answered everything right.

When she finally felt like she could count her fingers in a row without getting distracted, she was already being thrown in front of the infamous Illusive Man.

He blabbered on about his investments and creations and all his plans for her, like any manipulative movie villain. Shepard was quick to cut him off. "What stops me from taking the resources you give me and heading straight back to the Alliance?"

Looking a little shocked, he laughed. "I can't help but admire your bluntless, however ill-advised." His fingers twined into each other as he sat on his asshole chair. Anya wished she could kick the hologram over, but she knew what that kind of look meant: a planned answer. "Let's put it this way, Shepard: you're basically walking around with a Cerberus receipt on your back. Go back to the Alliance, too up in their own asses getting defensive instead of offensive, and you'll be grounded until they decide you're not a spy. I'll give you much more flexibility, as long as you take my concessions."

"And what are those?"

"Use my ships, my people, my contacts. Hunt down the Collectors. Pull together dossiers that I suggest and you like. Do whatever you want, just make sure to send reports back to me."

"So I don't have to follow your dumbass orders?"

"Unfortunately, you seem most effective on your own." It was at least a little satisfying that he seemed genuinely annoyed by that fact. Guy might be an asshole, but a pragmatic one. "As much as your ideology and attitude pain me, Shepard, you are the best shot humanity has. Backing you is the only option."

"Understood." Shepard paused, not sure if she wanted to bring up the people that mattered most to her in front of him. But when it came to saving lives, she needed to factor them into the equation. "Any of these dossiers for my old teammates? People I trust?"

"Wrex and Tali are tied up with their people. Kaidan is an Alliance boy, through and through. T'soni is deliberately elusive, and Vakarian has gone dark. But I do have one surprise for you."

Anya's heart had already stopped dead at the thought of Garrus being MIA, but there had to be more to it. He had to be alright. Cerberus was a shady organization with a wealth of information. "Gone dark" couldn't be it. Maybe they had a few clues and, if they passed them along, she could find him. After all this, she couldn't come back to a galaxy without those bright blue eyes in it. Her favorite, dumb turian had to be somewhere and she had to be able to find out where. She opened her mouth and said, "Wait-"

But the Illusive Man gave her a wave and the most irritating smirk she'd ever seen in her life. "We'll talk again soon enough, Shepard." And then he disappeared, leaving the room an empty, black square.

She was ready to shoot his dumb face for cutting her off. While Anya knew that really wasn't an option, she at least kicked her foot at the ground like she kicked his stupid chair out from under him. It was marginally satisfying.

But most of all, she was mad because regardless if Garrus was missing, he was fucking right about the Alliance. She needed to get shit done, not get stuck in bureaucracy. Bastard had her under his thumb. For now.

All her violent thoughts went silent, though, when she walked out to see someone she'd never expect in a Cerberus uniform.

Chronic lean and annoying smile in tow, Joker said, "about time you dragged your ass out of the grave."

Anya didn't mean to, but she pulled him into her arms and hugged him, tight. It was the first time anything in this new reality of hers felt real. He groaned under her grip. Anya released his shoulders, hoping she didn't break anything. After everything, seeing him... It was so refreshing she had to hold on tight. She said, "Sorry! Sorry. How are you...?"

"Cerberus said they were rebuilding you and my baby. And Alliance didn't feel right without you. How the hell could I say no?"

Overall she still wasn't sure how she felt about Joker in a Cerberus uniform, but it didn't matter. Everything about this moment was overwhelming, and after hours of dazed autopilot, it all hit her. She lost two years, lost time with the people she loved, and now she was back and at least Joker was still here. Anya didn't mean to, but her eyes welled up with tears. "It's so good to see you."

"Hell, Shep. Don't think I've ever seen you cry." What he said was a joke, but Joker put a hand on her shoulder.

Regaining composure, on instinct Shepard shrugged his hand off. But the second she did, she grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. It felt so wrong to push him away, knowing she'd lost him. And if it wasn't for Cerberus, it would've been forever. "This rebooted body comes with a lot of surprises." In her head, she kept replaying every second here with him, trying to notice any possible differences in his face, voice, demeanor. She couldn't help but notice he seemed a little seriouser, even if his humor didn't show it. But then something he said came back to her, and she raised an eyebrow. "Wait, what did you say about your baby?"

He smirked. "Come with me."

Anya followed him down a few halls until they were in front of a huge docking window. She didn't mean to stop breathing, but right in front of her-

"The Normandy. Good as new, eh? With some new Cerberus features. Chairs are nicer, but the crew still isn't mine yet. Having my family there will make it better." Joker leaned on the railing and looked right at her. "Leaving the Alliance wasn't easy, but if it meant having you and my ship? There wasn't any other option." Grumbling, he also added, "Anyway, they grounded me for way too long after the funeral."

His jokes slid right past her consciousness. Instead, Anya was just staring at the ship that changed her life; the one she called home. It was different, but it was hers. That wasn't some easy thing to swallow. Hell, none of this was easy to swallow. "Oh my god. I still can't believe you're Cerberus. What did my mother say about you doing this?"

"You think I have a death wish? No, I delayed that suffering. As far as Oksana knows, I went on a trip and fell off the grid. If I'm lucky, she'll just think I went on a bender."

"Christ. Mama bear's going to kill you."

Joker scoffed and bumped Shepard's shoulder. With so much new tissue in her body, it almost felt alien. But the memories? They made sure Anya knew that she just got some of her family back. He countered, "Me? Talk about yourself, zombie commander."

"Maybe we seek forgiveness once this blows over, not ask permission."

"Sounds good enough to me."

Trying to stay casual, Anya kept all her stunned staring to a minimum. But she did admit to him how important seeing him was, in her own way. She wasn't the best with saying what she should. She just hoped it was enough. "I'm happy to see a familiar face. None of this felt... Real."

"I know, right?" Joker rolled his shoulders, and she wondered who'd been bandaging his shoulders or keeping an eye out for him the past two years. He didn't need it, per se, but it was apart of who she was with him. It made her chest ache, knowing how his routines changed because she got herself killed. Who did he go to when he got drunk? Or was he just alone now?

Joker himself interrupted her thoughts. "These Cerberus guys don't tell me anything. Are we getting any of the old team?"

If her heart wasn't caving in enough about Joker, what the Illusive Man said about Tali, Kaidan, Garrus... It all hit her like a thundering pack of Varren. Anya shook her head at him. "No one. A lot has changed in two years. It looks like it's just you and me this time, spearheading a new crew."

"I haven't seen most of them since the funeral. None of us were the same, after that." She watched his shoulders sag, a weight and responsibility she'd never seen on him. He stood up straight and said, refusing to meet her eyes, "Anya, I'm-"

"Don't." Leaning her head on his shoulder, she added, "I would do it again in a heartbeat."

Sighing, Joker flashed her a smile that didn't seem all that real, but she still appreciated it. "Ready to save the Galaxy again?"

"Nope. But we're going to do it anyway."

"Sounds about right."

///

I so very much my best girl Anya Shepard. I love the strong badass and awkward middle school ballerina wrapped up on one. Time for her to get back to saving the galaxy, friends!

Anyway, thank you so much for reading! And extra thanks to my lovely patrons:

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#Drunk Punch Love

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