#Hopscotch to your doom

[misfitsstudios]

So I’m obsessing over Squid Games like many are at the moment and the whole “Squid Games in America” thing got me thinking of games they could use. This is mostly just so I can voice my ramblings to people that don’t have the power to put me in therapy.

The obvious ones are Tag and Hide-and-Seek. They would be timed games and if you’re tagged or found you get killed off because you lost. This does require a guard to participate or maybe a robot that’s normal human size so that definitely makes them harder to do but they could probably do it if they try hard enough. Same goes for Sharks-and-Minnows and Bulldog. Both are similar enough they wouldn’t be done in the same year.

Capture the Flag and Dodgeball are other classics that they could do. If you get captured by the other team you die and obviously which ever team wins lives. Dodgeball would definitely be a good replacement for Red-Light-Green-Light as the starting game and Capture the Flag could replace the Tug-of-War.

Jacks is kinda like the Marble game for obvious reasons. Simon Says is simple, you fuck up you die with a time limit. Another one is BattleShip, not sure who else played this in gym but it’s a team game with a wall between the teams the goal is to hit the other teams players with out seeing them by throwing a ball over the wall and it ends when a team is fully eliminated.

Shoots-and-Ladders (or Snakes-and-Ladders) would work kinda like the Glass Bridge, you wouldn’t know where the shoot is until it’s too late. It would be timed if, you’re not at the top when time runs out you die. Shoots could lead to death or simply just another level depending on how high risk you think they’d make it.

The final game should be Double Dutch or Musical Chairs. Nice elimination style games, last man standing wins. Twister or Spoons would work too. Monopoly or Uno could work, but I think they would end in physical violence. Or Four Square to get it down to play Jenga, Rummicub, or Rummy. Maybe even Hot Patato. Connect Four determining the winner if it gets down to two.

As much as I love Heads-Up-Seven-Up I’m not entirely sure how it would work in this setting, however you’d probably die if you got it wrong up. Mao is entertaining to watch but would never work, but I’ve seen it end friendships so it can end lives. Thumb War and Arm Wrestling aren’t “entertaining” enough it be anything but mini games. Telephone would have to be a mini game, same for Leapfrog. Never-have-I-ever could work.

Patty Cake and Say-say-my-playmate don’t have winners unfortunately but Red Hands/Slapsie technically does and would be the recruitment game. Cat’s Cradle or Hangman instead of Dalgona. Pass the Ring first team done lives. Twister would be hell. Charades and Pictionary as team games. The guards are just former customer service employees with guns. Those cup and string telephones are the only way the guards can communicate and they all hate it.

This isn’t even touching on actual sports and I’m ignoring most board games and card games because there are too many.

[akariamai]

Claws, Blades, and Botanical Love

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Mutant!OC

Word Count: 1642

“Where are we going?” Logan asked in a steely tone as Wade forcefully shoved him into the discolored and slightly wrecked stolen car. It had been a day since the small celebration of the multiverse was saved and now, Wade was forcing him into another adventure.

“Listen up, my little honey badger of doom and gloom, we’re about to inject some much-needed joy into those dead fish eyes of yours. Seriously, would it kill you to crack a smile for all the lovely readers out there? They’re lying in bed, wide awake, thinking about your mopey ass at 2 in the morning. Give ‘em a little something to dream about, will ya?” Wade finished with a boop on Logan’s nose.

“What the fuck are you yapping about?” Logan snapped, slamming his fist onto the headliner of the car.

“Chill your claws, Logan. So there I was, doing my little multiverse hopscotch, trying to find the you that’s not you but is still you—don’t think too hard about it. And guess what? Every single one of you grumpy furballs has the same weak spot. I mean, color me shocked when I find out Wolverine’s out here simping hardcore for a mutant angel, Mother Nature herself with all her leafy green goddess vibes.” Wade paused, turning the engine on, before continuing, “And oh, wouldn’t you know it? She’s your soulmate, bub. Yep, the big bad Wolverine falling head over claws for Mother Earth. Who knew you had it in ya? And for my grand finale after saving the multiverse, I asked the TVA to track down your leafy soulmate right here in this universe. I know, I’m a hero. Now, where’s my applause, Logan? Or, you know, a little thank you pegging wouldn’t hurt either. Your call!”

Logan absorbed the information in silence. He gripped the side of his seat, knuckles turning white and claws threatening to come out, as the weight of the words spoken sank in. His breath hitched — a soulmate. The concept circled around his mind, relentless and overwhelming. He blinked rapidly, trying to focus, but the car seemed to close in on him. A soulmate. His soulmate. The thought pounded in his skull, echoing louder with each beat of his heart.

His eyes darted from one side of the car to the other, unfocused, as his breathing quickened. Every face he’d ever known flashed through his mind— mutants, friends, enemies— all blurring together in a desperate search. He released his grip on his seat to only grip it tighter, digging deep into his memory, trying to pinpoint who it could be. Who from his world could possibly be the one.

“Oh, I can practically hear the gears grinding in your noggin, Wolfie. Relax, it’s not like you’ve missed out on a soulmate meet-and-greet. You never met them in your universe—they kicked the bucket before your paths ever crossed. Just like the Logan of this universe bit the dust before he got his chance to meet them. So, no need to lose any more sleep over it, bub.” Wade reached into the hidden compartment of the car and handed Logan to file. “Alright, feast your eyes on this bad boy—it’s got all the juicy deets about your little sweet pea right here. Buckle up, Logan, it’s time to dive into the love story of the century!”

Logan’s fingers hover over the file, trembling slightly. He shallowed hard, his throat dry as he stared holes at it. His breath came in uneven gasps. The file lay heavy in his hands, a stark contrast to his tight grip as if it might burst into flames of open with a truth he wasn’t ready to face. He became a monster after the death of his friends — his family — a vicious and heartless animal with no regard for human life. He had a fiery temper and alcoholic tendencies. He hesitated, his eyes darting to and from the file, each movement slow and deliberate, as if he were bracing himself for impact.

The file contained a possible future, a future he was not worthy for, but he was a selfish man who wanted nothing more than peace. Once the file was opened, his eyes were drawn to a picture of a gardener, Flora Winters.

Flora was the right mix of grit and grace. She had this magnetic way of commanding the camera’s attention, her presence effortlessly filling the frame with a blend of strength and elegance. There was a subtle, almost intangible quality that made her stand out.

“Hey, Earth to Perve, are you done giving her the ol’ eyeball striptease yet? You haven’t even met her and you’re already panting like a dog left out in the summer sun all day. I can only guess what’ll happen when you’re actually in the same room. Actually, I can totally imagine it— and if you don’t mind, I’d love to join in on the bedroom fun!”

~~~

Flora Winters spends the day slicing into the strawberries she’s grown in her greenhouse, experimenting with different recipes to find the one that’ll make her taste buds dance. She plans to sell them alongside the rest of her crops. Her life is mostly mundane, except for the occasional boost she gives her plants with her powers.

She senses a subtle tremor in the grass—a quiet warning from the trees that someone is near, getting closer. She feels the presence of two individuals stepping onto her porch, brushing against the ivy draped from the roof, ready to knock on her door.

Cracking the door open just enough to peek out, she narrows her eyes at the two men standing there. “What do you want?” she asks, taking in their ridiculous outfits. One is decked out in a red-and-black bodysuit that looks like a walking dildo, complete with a mask that only leaves his bug-eyed lenses visible. The other guy’s in a yellow-and-blue getup that looks straight out of a comic book, his muscles practically bulging out of the suit. They look like they’re about to audition for the weirdest superhero team ever.

Logan’s heightened senses pick up a scent that calms the raging animal inside him. It’s subtle—like the earth after rain, mixed with blooming flowers and a hint of something uniquely her. For the first time in what feels like forever, a deep sense of peace settles over him, like he’s found something he didn’t even know he was searching for. Every instinct tells him he’s exactly where he’s supposed to be.

Wade practically bounces on his heels. “This is it, bub! Your happily-ever-after, complete with a side of rosebuds and thorns.”

Logan shoots Wade a withering glare. “Shut up!”

But Wade, being Wade, ignores him and keeps running his mouth. “So, Flora, you should know—Logan here is a real softy under all that muscle. Sure, he’s got the claws and hair of a kitty and the whole brooding loner vibe down pat, but deep down, he’s a big ol’ teddy bear. Just don’t tell him I said that. Anyway, I’ll just leave him here and pick him up after this little playdate.”

Flora’s eyes flicker between the two, her brow furrowing as she narrows her gaze. The walking dildo keeps yapping nonsense. The vines hanging from the roof pulse with energy, eager for her command to snap into action. The thought of wrapping those vines around these idiots and flinging them far from her home is very tempting. It would be so easy.

Her eyes dart to the door—a simple barrier she could slam shut if they don’t retaliate. She hears the dildo’s yapping and the other guy’s low growling. They’re not really a threat, more like oversized children.

“Enough with your childish bickering. I want names. Who the fuck are you, how do you know my name, and what do you want?”

Wade starts to speak, but Logan cuts him off, his voice low and growling. “The moron here thinks we’re soulmates.”

Wade jumps back in, grinning. “The TVA stamped it, laminated it, and probably put it in a scrapbook labeled ‘Destined Couples of the Multiverse.’ Ain’t love just precious—like a rabid wolverine with a bowtie! So, congrats, lovebirds. Now kiss, fight, or do both. I’m just hyped to see good ol’ Logan drop the whole grumpy routine and maybe—just maybe—stop looking like he’s got a permanent wedgie. Fingers crossed he cracks a smile without breaking a mirror.”

Flora crosses her arms and tunes out the rest of the nonsense. The vines behind the two men sway towards them like serpents, coiling around their bodies and lifting them off the porch. With a flick of her wrist, the vines hurl the intruders as far as possible from her farm. She hears their screams fade as she calmly shuts the door, ignoring whatever mess is happening outside.

Wade and Logan watch the farm grow smaller and smaller until it vanishes behind the trees. Logan lands flat on his back, the wind knocked out of him, silently cursing Wade for dragging him into this. Wade, not as lucky, ends up impaled on a lonely tree stump. “Motherfucker.”

Logan gasps, “That went well.”

Wade pulls himself off the stump, glaring at his ruined suit. “I knew I should’ve handled the chit-chat! This is what happens when you let amateurs do the smooth talkin’—awkward silences and cringe-level dialogue. Next time, leave the witty banter to the pros—me.” He points at himself with both thumbs before inspecting the lacerations in his suit. “Well, there goes my uniform! Ruined! You know how hard it is to play arts and crafts with my own skin-tight, butt-hugging suit? This is what my life has come to—reconstructing fashion disasters caused by homicidal landscaping and that damn Vine Vixen.”

Masterlist

[perlelune]

Oxytocin | Coriolanus Snow | iv.

One act of kindness from a peacekeeper may be your salvation or your doom. Possibly both.

Warnings: NON-CON, Blackmail, District 8 Reader, Stalking, Kidnapping

This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

A smile blooms on your lips as you watch Tilly play hopscotch with her friend near the street. Snow’s melted enough this morning to be able to draw chalk patterns on the cobblestones. The young girl woke up excited to enjoy the day. And while you’re nowhere as thrilled, seeing the joy and life return to her gaze is more than enough for you. 

The little girls’ buoyant laughs fill the street and you let yourself bask in the moment. It’s rare that you get time to yourself lately.  Your shifts at the factory take up most of your time. And you’ve been spreading yourself thin, hoping to keep concerns at bay by remaining busy. White wisps surround you as you blow a long breath. You readjust your scarf and rub your gloved hands. Cold air seeps through the tiny holes in your gloves. You’ll need to stay after hours on your next shift to mend them. Perhaps you could even purloin enough throwaway remnants of wool to make Tilly a new pair. She’ll soon outgrow hers.

Besides, her health might have improved for now, but you never stop worrying about her catching another cold, one that might be deadlier than the last.

Lost in contemplation, you draw a sharp breath when an object drops from the sky onto your lap. Your eyes widen as you lower them. A pair of knitted gloves rests in your lap. They’re clearly brand new and the wool quality is unlike anything you’ve ever laid eyes on. You can tell from the thickness and vibrancy of the twining threads. You’re tempted to give it a brush with your fingertips, revel in the warmth oozing from the fabric. But you refrain.

“I don’t want that,” you snap, whipping your head up.

A towering, lanky frame clad in the peacekeeper’s signature blue uniform fills your sight. 

You toss the gloves at him and he catches them with a deep sigh. He sits near you on the steps. The hairs on the back of your neck bristle with his proximity, his broad shoulder grazing yours as he turns to study you.

You shiver as his gaze runs along your frame. You don’t look at him. You don’t want to. You’ve done your best to forget about him these last few weeks, even if his ever-lurking presence is hard to ignore. Whatever you do, wherever you are, he’s never hovering too far away.

He seizes your hands, forcefully slipping the gloves on your frostbitten fingers.

“Come on, you’re freezing,” he says. Your lips tighten as you meekly comply. Arguing with the peacekeeper has never worked in your favor. So why even try? You let him put the gloves on you, cursing the comfort you feel when the warm fabric hugs your fingers. An absent thought drifts in your head as you admire the wool. You never owned anything this nice. The quality evokes the clothes that usually head straight to the Capitol.

All the nice things go to them first while District dwellers beg for scraps.

Coriolanus leans back, his large hands spreading over his knees. His stance is far too relaxed for your taste and you shrink further on your side of the narrow stairs. 

As his icy blue orbs settle on your cousin and her friend, you tense.

“She seems to be doing well. I’m assuming the medicine helped,” he notes, smugness oozing from his words. His attention scorches your skin as you pointedly evade his stare. You loathe the satisfaction he draws from this. More leverage to use against you. More opportunities to make you feel small, helpless.

“What are you doing here?” you curtly ask.

His small chuckle makes your stomach coil.

“Is this any way to greet a friend?” His tone becomes light, playful. “Especially one that comes bearing gifts?” 

Your brows knit. “Friends…”

Hot air tickles your earshell as he bends over you, whispering, “The closest of friends.”

Your heart skips a beat.

He grabs your chin, angling your face towards his. A shuddered breath leaves your lips as stark blue eyes drink you in. “Really birdie, not even a smile? Come now.”

You nudge a tremulous smile onto your lips. 

His thumb grazes your trembling bottom lip as his mouth twists skyward. “Better,’ he praises quietly.

A winning glint sways in his eyes and your stomach lurches. 

“Hi!”

Tilly’s cheerful voice shatters the moment. Coriolanus releases you and relief billows inside your chest. 

He beams at the young girl, replying in a similar tone, “Hi.”

Your young cousin bounces on her feet, excitement rounding her gaze as she admires  the peacekeeper. Your frown deepens at the exchange.

“I’m Tilly,” she announces solemnly, offering her hand to shake.

Coriolanus laughs as he takes it, mirth lighting up his handsome face.

“I know. I know all about you.” A mix of shock and awe decorates the young girl’s features with that information, as if the peacekeeper knowing anything about her was the most extraordinary thing in the world. “I’m a friend of your cousin. My name’s Coriolanus.”

“Coriolanus,” she repeats, as if mesmerized by the sound of his name alone.

“Here. I have something for you,” he says. 

He reaches inside the pocket of his uniform and pulls out a bag. Your cousin jumps, her eyes sparkling with joy when he hands it to her.

“Candy!” she exclaims. 

Your face pinches at the sight of the colorful sweets in the bag. These aren’t easy to acquire. 

“Tilly…”

“What?”

The young girl’s expression is dejected as she looks at you, almost like she can sense your disapproval and is preparing to return the gift. Your shoulder sag. You don’t have it in you to refuse her this small sliver of delight. 

You shake your head and smile.

“Nothing.” You hunker in front of her. “We should go back inside.”

“But I want to play…” she pouts.

“You have chores. And Coriolanus…” Your eyes lift to him. Amusement hasn’t left his expression. “is very busy.”

He doesn’t say anything as you shove your cousin inside the house. He lingers by the door and you fidget beneath his heavy stare.

“I’m guessing you have…somewhere to be.”

His gaze drags over you as a small smile dances on his lips.

“Yes, I hear I’m very busy,” he teases. Shock fills you when he leans to brush his mouth against your cool cheek. “See you soon, birdie,” he mumbles, his deep voice making your stomach flutter.

You’re relieved when he finally leaves. You chase away the peculiar sensation his closeness sparked as you shut the door.

You don’t get time to collect yourself,  your little cousin immediately asking, “Is he your boyfriend?”

The pitch of your voice goes high with shock. 

“What? Are you crazy?”

Tilly frowns. “But I saw him kissing you.”

Heat nestles in your cheeks. Maybe from an outsider’s perspective, Coriolanus’ closeness could be misinterpreted, the peacekeeper perpetually crowding your space despite your reluctance. Still, you can’t believe it’s what the little girl thinks from looking at the two of you. 

It couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Every fiber of your being burns with hatred for him.

“No, we weren’t. It wasn’t…” you sputter, your embarrassment cresting as the excitement in your cousin’s eyes doesn’t dwindle. “He wasn’t kissing me. We were just talking.”

“About girlfriend and boyfriend stuff,” she insists. 

You sigh. You approach her and grip her shoulders. 

“Tilly, I need you to promise me something.”

She blinks up at you. “Yes?”

You crouch before her so you’re at eye level. 

“You need to stay away from peacekeepers.”

She purses her mouth, glancing down at the bag of candy.

“Yes, but Coriolanus…he was nice to me.”

Your stomach sinks.

“Well, Coriolanus isn’t like the others.”

She nods in understanding. You’re glad she doesn’t ask any further questions. You wouldn’t know how to begin to explain your relationship with him.

Not in any way that makes sense at least.

For a fortnight, you don’t see much of him. You bask in the tranquility of your usual routine, going back and forth, from home to work, and preparing to celebrate the end of the year with your cousin. It won’t be lavish, of course, but you’re hoping to save up enough from your wages to get Tilly a teddy and perhaps even a toy this year.

While most of your family has passed away, you want to cherish the things you still have. Perhaps you can even create new memories for your cousin, happier memories. She has been bedridden for months now and it’ll be the first holiday she’ll get to truly enjoy as a healthy, normal child. 

He appears again as you’re working your usual shift, casually switching places with another guard. While you pointedly avoid looking in his direction, you feel the weight of his unwavering eyes, watching you as always.

Still, you diligently weave the silk on your loom. Your attention cannot stray. One mistake and the fabric will be ruined. 

“Your shadow’s there,” Yara notes from her station right next to yours.

Your eyes flick upward briefly as you nod.

“Yeah.”

Silence hangs in the air a while before your friend speaks again.

“It doesn’t seem to bother you that much.”

You shrug. “I’m getting used to it.”

Her eyes land on the gloves peeking from the pocket of your long skirt.

“By the way, I meant to ask…Is that from him?”

You hesitate a little before begrudgingly admitting, “Yes.”

She moves her head in acknowledgement. 

“I see, gifts now.”

Stepping on the treadle to slow down the motion of your loom, you snap your head to Yara.

There was something in her tone just then, an implication you didn’t like.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

She shakes her head and scoffs, “It’s just interesting, is all.”

“My hands were cold,” you defend.

“You could have thrown them away. I made my own. It’s what we do every year. Make our own.” Her gaze locks with yours. Licking her lips, she seems to mull over something before she asks,  “Is there something going on between you two? I mean other than what I already know.”

Your face grows hot.

“There is nothing.”

She studies you for a few minutes before turning her focus back to her loom.

“Right,” she says.

Your annoyance mounting, you give the treadle a vigorous push and start weaving faster.

You let your friend’s prickly comments fade somewhere in the back of your mind. You have no desire to explore this dangerous line of thought any further. 

There is indeed nothing going on between you and the peacekeeper. You keep repeating it to yourself as your fingers assemble the threads as if your life depended on it. 

It helps you ignore the way your blood races in your veins.

Relief fills you when your shift ends. Tension built in your body and firmly remained since Yara began questioning you. You can still feel it in the stiffness in your limbs, the heaviness in your chest. You make haste as you dart across the hallways, eager to return home.

Your escape is halted by a pair of strong arms pulling you in a dark corner of the factory. 

You look up at him through wide eyes. That teasing smile you’ve grown all too familiar with decorates his lips.

“Why the rush, sweet bird?”

“Coriolanus…” You step back from him. “Can’t you just leave me be, just once?”

He approaches you, forcing you to shrink against the wall. He cages you, his hands on each side of you as he drinks you in. You dip your head, overwhelmed with the scent of roses washing over you. 

“I can’t actually.” Warmth swirls in your belly as his tone lowers. “Look at me.” He puts two fingers below your chin to angle it upward. His eyes narrow. “You’re upset.”

“Just had a long day,” you elude with a shrug. 

He scrutinizes you. Your mouth quakes, his silence unnerving you. 

After some time, he finally announces, “I’m getting discharged soon.”

“Oh, where?”

“I’m getting sent back to the Capitol.”

You gape at him. That’s not what you expected to hear. Though you surmise it makes sense, with him being around less. A strange mix of feelings surges inside your chest. But mostly, relief, freedom. You’ll be able to breathe properly again, without the uneasy attention of the peacekeeper tailing you everywhere you go. 

Though you try not to let your emotions show. You give a tilted smile.

“Isn’t that a good thing? You get to go home, return to your life.”

His knuckles sweep over the apple of your cheek. 

“Well…I’ll miss some things about District 8.”

You clear your throat. “I should get back home.”

“Meet me tonight,” he says bluntly. 

“What for?”

His eyes darken, running over your trembling frame. His thumb skims over your bottom lip.

“I’m leaving. We should celebrate, just the two of us.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. You truly hoped to avoid…colliding with the peacekeeper again, in any way, but you suppose it was inevitable. One way or another, he’d have asked for more of you, simply because he could. Your fate is in his hands after all. He could easily make your life here hell just by whispering in the right ears.

Still, you can’t help voicing a feeble protest.

“Is that necessary?”

His eyes flare with danger. Your breath snags as he grips your jaw, his fingers digging painfully into your cheeks. Your pulse thrums beneath his palm.

“I don’t want to be mean to you right now, so don’t make me.” Though his tone is soft, his expression is harsh and inflexible. “Just do as I say.”

You give a shaky nod.

“S-See you tonight.”

He releases your face and you take a deep breath. His crooked smile is wide and victorious as he hops away from you.

“I look forward to it, sweet bird.”

You put a hand on your chest as he disappears, willing your thundering heart to slow down. You find comfort in a single thought. At least, after tonight, you will finally be rid of the peacekeeper.

[bell-swamp-fitzjames]

oops all lieutenants! playlists for the terror (2018)

What an auspicious day! Not only did the davechella playlist post early enough for me to enjoy it as usual, I get the joy of sharing my Edward Little playlist. Along with the other lieutenants of my fav show, minus Jopson who I know could & should be on here, but he got dropped with the doctors in honor of DJ Doll Eyes Sunday. Below will be all the playlists linked & every playlist made thus far can be found on the pinned post in my blog. Check it out, I got a lot of guys so far. Thanks to all who listen to me yap (or check out the playlists), as always this is a lot of fun. And without further ado...

Edward Little [LINK]

пачка сигарет by Kino || Angel by Massive Attack, Horace Andy || Tom's Diner by Vega, DNA || Ladies of the Canyon by Joni Mitchell || She's Lost Control by Joy Division || Cherry Came Too by Jesus and the Mary Chain || Don't Know Why by Slowdive || A Forest by The Cure, Mark Saunders || Ana by Pixies || Deep Water by Strawberry Switchblade || My Evil by Palehound || Deep Water by Vundabar || Ghost by Neutral Milk Hotel || Under Ice- 2018 Remastered by Kate Bush || The River Song by Donovan || Sea, Swallow Me- 2024 Remastered by Cocteau Twins, Harold Budd || Static Shape by Chad VanGaalen || There Is a Light That Never Goes Out- 2011 Remaster by The Smiths || Tibetan Pop Stars by Hop Along || Tainted Love by Soft Cell

John Irving [LINK]

Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain || Losing My Religion by Hootie & The Blowfish || Little Big Mistakes by Tom Rosenthal || God Only Knows by The Langley Schools Music Project || Goodnight Bad Morning by The Kills || Everyman Needs a Companion by Father John Misty || Oh Holy Night by Andrew Bird || Troubled Waters by Cat Power || Divine Loser by Clem Turner || Monkey Gone To Heaven by Pixies || Dissonance- Demo by AJJ || O Come O Come Emmanuel by Sufjan Stevens || Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam by The Vaselines || This Night Has Opened My Eyes- 2011 Remaster by The Smiths || First Love / Late Spring by Mitski || Don't Get Lost in Heaven by Gorillaz || Knife Going In- Demo by Tegan and Sara || Your Silent Face - 2015 Remaster by New Order || Picture Of My Dress by The Mountain Goats || Unfucktheworld by Angel Olsen

George Hodgson [LINK]

Shangri-La by Electric Light Orchestra || POOR GEORGE by James Supercave || Erreur 404 by L'Imperatrice || Let's Get Lost by Chet Baker || Adoro te devote by Stirps lesse, Enrico De Capitani || Postcards from Italy by Beirut || Theme From New York, New York- 2008 Remaster by Frank Sinatra || Tried And True by Ween || Soil, Soil by Tegan and Sara || Dreamer by Supertramp || Oh l'amour - Edit by Erasure || Heatwave by Martha Reeves & The Vandellas || Radio Ga Ga- Remastered 2011 by Queen || Boys Don't Cry by The Sure || Waterloo Sunset by The Kinks || Send Me An Angel by Real Life || We Three (My Echo, My Shadow, And Me) by The Ink Spots || Love & Pride by King || It's My Life - 1997 Remaster by Talk Talk || Girlfriend In A Coma by The Smiths

Graham Gore [LINK]

Glow In The Dark by Lil Pump || Lucid Dreams by Juice WRLD || EARFQUAKE by Tyle, The Creator || Doomsday by NERO || The Blonde Leading the Blond by Wax Fang || Outsiders by Franz Ferdinand || Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk || Hit the Ground by No Mana, Bertie Scott || Alien Boy by Oliver Tree || 3005 Childish Gambino || Fade Out by Seether || Pursuit of Happiness by Kid Cudi, MGMT, Ratatat || Hay Ya! by Outkast || Party and Bullshit by The Notorious B.I.G. || Oblivion by Grimes || Dammit by blink-182 || 4th Dimension by KIDS SEE GHOSTS || Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz || Beast of Burden - Remastered 1994 by The Rolling Stones || All Caps by Madvillain, Madlib, MF DOOM

Henry Le Vesconte [LINK]

Cold Cold Cold by Cage The Elephant || Frostbiter by Saintseneca || Hopscotch by Pinc Louds || Electric Funeral by Slothrust || General Discomfort by Serpent Cobra || Rainbow in the Dark by Dio || Gouge Away by JEFF The Brotherhood || Guts- 2013 Remaster by Budgie || Mansion of Misery by Miniature Tigers || If I Stay (Awake) by The Worn Flints || Feel the Heat by Me Like Bees || Polly's God by Perfekt Square || Don't Forget the Sun by Wailin' Storms || Codeine by Welles || Sick Day by Fountains of Wayne || Keep in Mind by Breakneck Flow || Sick Shit- Live from Lincoln Hall by Together Pangea || What's Done Is Done by Madde || Black Cat Heaven by Dan Luke and the Raid || Grapefruit High by French Thyme

James Fairholme [LINK]

Frostbite by punkett || Beheaded by The Offspring || Barcelone by Tommy Hools || Eleanor by Cake Bake Betty || Surchin 4 U by Naked Giants || The Party's Crashing Us by of Montreal || There Is No God by Mrs. Magician || I Still Love My Body by Yabadum || Shut Me Down by Godflesh || Jazzhole by Free the Robots || Out Of Gas by Modest Mouse || Fuck Off by The Frogs || Winter's Going by DJ Signify, Buck 65 || Bitin' the Bullet by GROUPLOVE || Like a Star by Mike Krol || Cold Cadaver by King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard || Angel Eyes and Basketball by Foot Ox || Fell Down a Hole by Wolfmother || Hello Cruel World by Dent May || Woof Woof by ARTHUR

[artbyblastweave]

I was thinking the other day that Red Hood is a compelling character but inherently an extremely high context one. It's really obvious that he's a character who required the two-decades and change of publication history, editorial evolution and fandom debate that it took for him to bake. Red hood presupposes, bare minimum:

that there's an established Batman/Joker rivalry that's been going for a while

That Batman has gotten past the year-one section of his career and brought at least one Robin into the fold

That after the crowbar incident Batman has continued to operate as Batman for a significant amount of time

That the version of the DCU you're looking at includes some method of resurrection, be that the Lazarus Pit or the retcon punch

Ideally, you'd have Dick Grayson as Robin first, because you obviously lose a lot of the crunch if Jason doesn't exist uncomfortably in Dick's shadow prior to his death, but if you had an executive breathing down your neck about how the narrative has too many moving parts you could maybe drop this

On top of all this the story arc also presupposes audience familiarity with the out-of-universe debate about the no-kill rule, and moreover it presupposes that the version of Joker you're looking is specifically awful enough that there's an actual utilitarian argument in favor of breaking the no-kill rule- Can't do Under the Red Hood with Ceaser Romero's take on the character. You may or may not have had time to establish his track record.

Oh, yeah, and it's gotta be a version of the continuity where the censors let you kill people on screen! Nearly forgot that. I recall thinking that despite the obvious scramble to introduce all the priors, Under The Red Hood was remarkably effective for being able to import everything it needed to create the sense of time, place and progression of Batman's character, the very specific point in his development where you need to catch him for Red Hood to make any sense. By contrast I remember thinking that the half-hearted attempt to backport Red Hood into the DCAU in the comics-IIRC he actually post-dates that continuity- was just very obviously doomed, like come on, you're trying to cram a third robin into an established timeline? You already made a decision to hopscotch him when you went right from Dick to Tim, no backsies! There are other characters I bucket like this, characters who I think have some there-there, but are immensely high-context in a way that seems tough to negotiate in an adaptation. Miles Morales is one, and I was amazed at how gracefully the Spider-verse films navigated that, how gracefully something with a four-or-five hour runtime integrated the broader concept of continuity lockout/creep/what-have you into the story. Power Girl is another, and they've never really figured out how to integrate her as far as I'm aware- Galatea in JLU being the closest I know of. I have no doubt that if I were more familiar with the Teen Titans side of things I could start rattling off ancillary characters from that space. I don't have anywhere in particular I was going with this, I just think about this category of character a lot.

[violetganache42]

Highlights from Saturday's Oops! All Episodes! night celebrating everyone's favorite adorable and badass pink duckling, courtesy of @knuckles-junior and yours truly!

(I couldn't make it to most of it, so any highlights I do add in the episode up until "The Last Adventure will be anything that catches my eye while scrolling back through the chat. As such, mine will be in purple while Any's are in pink. If we both have the same highlight, then it'll be left uncolored.)

Garfunkel and Oates - Rainbow Connections

Learning this song was originally for Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome's friend

Discord and YouTube already experiencing technical difficulties to where everyone went straight to the episodes/There was a delay but don’t worry, Will. Thanks Puffy for hosting!

"Cold Duck"

Huey, Dewey and Louie are hunting for Beakleys (*Elmer Fudd laughter*)

Launchpad appearance!

Literally everyone being racist/sexist to the girls (1987, everyone. Shit like this is why the phrase "product of its time" exists.)

Dreamy: Webby is my favorite fan artist.

I never like HDL in the 87 version. Thank god I didn’t get jumped. (You're in good company with the Cafeteria Table, and we don't tolerate getting jumped for different opinions. ^^)

Puffy: WHO RAISED THEM TO HATE WOMEN SO BAD Will: Uncle Donald Puffy: "NOOOOOOOOOO BUT DONALD LOVES WOMEN HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THE THREE CABALLEROS" Dreamy: "He respects women while craving that bisexual crisis"

Everyone agreeing the DT87 triplets deserved to get sent to penguin jail

Club Penguin

Puffy: "it's not a toro it's a uuuuh goes to google morsa"

"Um, Mr. Scrooge?"/"Call me Uncle Scrooge."

Webby gaining a new sister in the form of Skittles the Penguin

"Daytrip of Doom!" (Rewatch)

Me freaking out about Scrooge being spectacless

OW MY TAILBONE (That line always cracks me up. 😂)

"Um, ocupado." Me: HOUSE MEETING. NOW.

“Wait are they gonna kiss?” (Again: I don't need that image burned in my brain, Llewellyn. >< This is why you're the evil triplet!)

*Webby kicks a sack into a tree, causing it to fall down* “WEBBY DAAAAANNNNGGGG” (This is what I would've shared in response to that scene. lol)

Spider Webby real

The entire scene with Donald flooding the mansion's main bathroom with his hose and Scrooge's golden reaction to it

Jane appearance!

THE SPORK (Shout out to @danaterrace for storyboarding that scene!)

"Like New Zealand" (I did recently hear New Zealand is a great place to live in.)

Just the entire Beakley and Donald subplot in general

Webby being a mood

Ma Beagle appearance!

THE COINS JUST SHOWED UP OUTTA NOWHERE (THAT SHIT IS SO FUCKING HILARIOUS. 🤣)

"Well, that's not something you wanna hear when you're tied up in a meat locker."

"Normal's overrated."/"We want you to be Webby normal."

Everyone when Donald attacked Bouncer and Burger:

Surprise batman appearance

"I'm on Webby's team!"

"The Good Muddahs" (Rewatch)

Us remembering Bubba was in the later seasons. -_- (Yeah, I don't blame you guys at all. 😓 DT17!Bubba can stay though; he's cool, especially since he didn't replace DT17!Webby in the group unlike his original version.)

The return of whitewashed Daffy Pt. 2: Electric Boogaloo

Missy's Discord making a random ass scream thanks to a server she's in

HDL continuing to be sexist (Seriously, WHO THE FUCK GENDERS SOMETHING LIKE HOPSCOTCH?!)

Beagle Babes appearance!

I DIDNT KNOW THERE WERE BEAGLE GIRLS CALLED “BEAGLE BABES”. (Unlike the Beagle Boys, they're not created by Carl Barks. They're a trio of one-off characters exclusive to DT87.)

THE COPS DON’T DO SHIT JUST LIKE IRL COPS

Pink guns!

(It's around this vicinity that Any's highlights for this episode dramatically decreased because she still couldn't believe what she watched, so the rest will be handled by me. Besides, she was more eager to cover Confidential Casefiles and TLA.)

Any: 12 HOURS (Remember, DT87!Webby is younger than her reboot counterart by what? A few years or something? It's normal for a kid as young as her to cry. Between how the DT87 triplets treated her and being kidnapped at literal gunpoint, she was not having a good day, so of course she would be upset. That being said, 12 HOURS? Someone get this girl some water to rehydrate herself with because that cartoon logic went into overtime!)

Shoplifting list

THE ICONIC WORRY ROOM

Missy and Puffy rooting for Beakley

nepdapurrbeast: "the police shouslve been pigs smh"

caro: "Bubba thinks he’s part of the team 💀" (FR)

WEBBY WITH A GUN

puff

The triplets behind the wheel, with Dewey driving

"From the Confidential Casefiles of Agent 22!" (Rewatch)

OTTOMAN EMPIRE MARATHON!

Black Heron appearance!

Louie having Pep priorities

Webby's special interest in Scrooge and Clan McDuck

Donald somehow locking himself in the pantry (Easily the FUNNIEST moment in season 1. 🤣)

LUDWIG APPEARANCE!

Scrooge being a sassy bitch in the flashbacks. (He was a lot cockier in the 1960s. lol)

"First ever Webby-McDuck team-up!"

Beakley punching Scrooge in the face

Story Blossom: "A rubber ball? PERRY THE RUBBER BALL?"

"Louie mostly just cries." (He is not wrong. In all seriousness, someone give Louie all the hugs.)

Scrooge McFucking dies ("Worse. I got a stem caught in my throat.")

Vengeance for Number 4

"Aww, that was gonna be so impressive." (NGL, I would do the same thing. XD Just chucking a nearby object at a runaway enemy and feeling bummed about it missing.)

Scrooge and Webby bonding (I can hear the scene in my head and I am SMILING. 😊)

spam: "every evil plot starts with a declaration of hatred speech…"

Any and Puffy: "OH NO"

Everyone freaking out about Webby almost getting killed

The art book revealing Black Heron realized Webby is April after seeing her kick the Gummiberry Juice out from her hand, drinking it, and untying Scrooge

“Call me Uncle Scrooge.”/“I’m Webby!”

Any: Several episodes later (STOOOOOOP. 😭 IT'S BAD ENOUGH DISNEY XD AIRED LAST CRASH A FEW HOURS BEFORE WEBBY NIGHT.)

Oh, and we were jumpscared by Goldie three times. (THREE?! Aw, man!)

"The Last Adventure!"

Pt. 1: A Tale of Three Webbys!

Crazy that Lena can rig an import game.

Can we talk about how Scrooge only wasted money on a birthday party at funzo’s for Webby? Slay king. (YES, WE CAN. FULL. FUCKING. PRICE. FOR HIS DAUGHTER. IT SPEAKS VOLUMES ON HOW CLOSE THE TWO HAVE GOTTEN.)

Us when Missy wants to smash both Bradford and Drake:

Violet joining at the right time ^^ (Glad to have made it in time for the family storming the Funso's base!)

Darkwing showing off by walking on two fingers

MAY AND JUNE

Any and I commenting about how OP Lena is/Violet: “We may need to start putting handicaps on Lena XD”

“You already got sisters.”

Me and Violet: AMONGUS (btw you read my mind) (I had to. 😂 On a related note…)

Puffy: "WEBBY VENTED SHE'S SUS"

"Have you eaten a hamburger?"

“COUGH UP THE INFORMATION, BENTINA!”

Webby's conspiracy board now turned into her family board

Puffy: "you know who else came out in 1996" Me: "MY MOM!"

Beakley lying to Webby./Everyone calling out Beakley and her fabricated story about Webby's parents

SHES FIBBING FIBBING FIBBING. (Oh, hey! I quoted that! :D)

NOT THE VULCAN NERVE PINCH

Webby vs. June:

Pt. 2: The Lost Library of Isabella Finch!

Donald wearing his signature blue sailor outfit again

spam: "The ducktales logo looks like a censor there i cant"

Bradford abuses/manipulates children/Us talking about Bradford being a child abuser in the finale

"It's Webby."

Scrooge smiling proudly at the kids as they board the Sunchaser

Bradford being a manipulative creep towards Huey

Phantom Blot and Pepper appearance!

Scrooge: "Any questions?" Me: "GOLD TEAM RULES!"

Lena being really op by making the sunchaser invisible.

THE ORIGINAL THREE!/TRIPLE MCDUCK FAMILY TEMPER!!!

Gyro being the biggest baby ever./Pepper obliterating the twink

"I live again!"

Violet—the character, not me—panicking

“Finally!”

Everyone after Bradford after ripping the pages off the journal: 🤬🤬🤬/Me, Toku, and Any: "BASTARD"

Donald and Della gushing over baby Jeeves

Us talking about the implications of Bradford killing Duckworth

Steelbrain

Gandra appearance!

Ludwig revealing he got way too busy to die (King shit. XD)

The revelation that Bradford kidnapped EVERYONE! EVEN SANTA CLAUS!

April.

Beakley killing Jeeves

This out of context photo Any took:

Jeeves and Don Karnage die/Dewey officially getting a kill count in the funniest way possible

Everyone freaking out at the end of part 2.

ME POINTING OUT A VERY HEARTBREAKING PARALLEL RIGHT AS PART 2 ENDED

Pt. 3: Tales' End…

Dewey hitting the dab

Puffy, Missy, and I complimenting the finale

Manny being a living Gargoyles reference

"When they do something right, they're heroes. When it gets a little hard, wE’rE cHiLdReN!"

"Aw, phooey."

Me and Missy: "STOCK POSE"

"All women… are queens!"/"If she breathes… she's a THOOOOT!"

Puffy: "hard cut to scrooge getting his spine broken lmao" EllaKai: "legit i vocalized 'agh my back'"

"How do you think Della found out you built the Spear of Selene?"/This scene and everyone freaking out in the chat again myself included:

I’m literally the only one who is happy that Heron died. Rest in Piss. (I'm sure Scrooge would agree with you on that, mainly because he did not react to her erasure from existence at all. Like, that boy just STOOD THERE. 😂)

The Webby twist never gets old. 🙂 (HUGE agree. Also…)/YOUR DAILY FUCKING REMINDER, EVERYONE:

Launchpad becoming Gizmopad

ALL OF US PANICKING AT BRADFORD NEARLY ACHIEVING VICTORY (NO FUCKING JOKE! MY BODY WAS SHAKING WHEN I SAW THAT SCENE AGAIN! ><)

"Ow?"

“GET AWAY FROM MY DAD!” ("Wait, what?")

FAMILY IS THE GREATEST ADVENTURE OF ALL!

SCROOGE FINALLY SAYING "WEBBY DARLING" 😭💖/WERE ALL DEFENDERS OF THIS FINALE DUCKBLUR FOR LIFE. SCREW THE HATERS.

Team Uncle embracing their fatherly roles, from Donald taking May and June under his wing to Scrooge making a parallel to "Woo-oo!" and worrying about Webby's safety

THE FINAL END CREDITS

[tongueofcat]

Magic Lessons

Chapter Four: Drenched

Fandom: Detroit: Become Human

Pairing: Connor RK800/F!Human Reader

Tags: Innocent Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Eventual Smut, Father-Son Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Post-Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human)

Word Count: 4,572

Masterlist | Link to Ao3

Notes: This is a longer chapter for me, and I ended it on what I consider a cliffhanger. Oops! Also, the explicit rating comes to play in this chapter.

The rest of your day had been boring: grocery shopping, doom scrolling through various forms of social media, and dinner. It’s nice to take a break from your studies, but now you’ve found a new distraction: six foot, brown hair, and brown eyes with a smile that can liquify your insides to a gelatinous goo. Honestly, if you didn’t know better, you’d think your body was trying to liquify itself as his deep eyes flashed in your memory: focused and precise; intimately interested.

But what kind of ‘interested’ was Connor? That must be your own egg to crack.

Rain was pelting on your window, the sound soothing and pleasant as you spent the rest of your day before work daydreaming about Connor on and off. Then your phone vibrated near you on the bed as you were idly browsing a streaming service, looking for something to watch. Your eyes lazily focus on the screen of your cellphone before realizing the preview bubble of the text message is addressed from Connor.

You’ve never opened your phone so fast.

Connor: Hello, how is your day going?

Your thumbs all but stab your phone screen as you hastily type out your response.

You: Good!! I’m just wasting time before work. Looking for something to watch and turn my brain off for a while, you know?

There’s a pause, you hungrily watch your phone for a response, even though you just sent your reply. You must’ve waited for a whole minute, eyes glued on the lit screen of your cell before you see the ‘…’ bubble pop up, notifying you that Connor is building a response. Then it comes.

Connor: Please don’t turn off your brain.

You blink, your mind taking a moment to catch him taking your turn of phrase literally. Maybe? It’s unclear without the nuance of audio cues, body language or facial expressions.

Connor: I like your brain.

Connor: A lot.

You giggle, butterflies bumping around in your belly as you formulate your response.

You: Is that all you like, detective?

You: Just my brain?

The little ‘…’ bubble pops up, animating small pulsing periods, before retreating, then coming back.

Connor: No.

Your stomach is playing hopscotch now, you were sure of it. Heat pools low in your stomach and you feel your face get hot. No, you’re supposed to be getting back at him, not letting yourself pant excitedly like a dog at his heels. You had to derail this before it got out of control and you were begging on your knees, heart eyes and all…

You: Shouldn’t you be busy, mister detective? You know, solving crimes and making criminals squirm like worms. Stuff like that.

The reply was almost instant.

Connor: I can multitask, madam.

A smirk plays on your lips as you reply.

You: What about your internal clock earlier today? Ignoring your alarm for little ol’ me.

You watched the little bubble pop up fast.

Connor: I won’t deny you’re distracting. Also, I wasn’t ignoring it, I didn’t notice it. That is a key difference.

You feel like a schoolgirl giggling and kicking her feet. You’re positively obsessing over texting this stupid boy, unashamedly caught in his web. Another text comes through when you don’t respond within a mere handful of seconds.

Connor: I do not ignore things.

Connor: Ignoring things is not in my programming. I’m highly advanced, you know.

Affectionately you roll your eyes, typing.

You: Oh? What are your features, mister highly advanced.

You’re giggling like an idiot when your phone flashes with a green phone icon notifying an incoming call, the name flashing atop clearly reading ‘Connor’. You gulp, frozen for a moment in time before anxiously accepting it, pressing your cell to your ear.

“C-Connor?” Your voice comes out in an undignified croak. You hear him laugh in your ear and fight hard not to swoon, to get lost in his stupid spell.

“Did I frighten you in some way? You sound scared. Or, perhaps, anxious.” His voice is so pretty, damn it.

“D, all of the above…” you breathe, calming yourself by a large fraction. He laughs again and you can hear a muffled voice in the background.

“Talking to yourself now, kid? That’s new.” You recognize the voice as Lieutenant Hank. You snort.

“No, I’m just multitasking.” Connor replies to his partner sweetly and you hear a groan.

“I’m putting in my earbuds if you’re gonna yap to yourself like that.”

“Good idea, Lieutenant.” you can hear the smile in his voice.

You find courage sparking in your heart, enough to ask Connor a question.

“Why did you call, Connor?”

“I wanted to hear your voice.” He responds back fast, catching you off guard. Your brain falls on its ass and you scramble to reply.

“Don’t you have like… super memory that can replay things? Can’t you just remember how I sound — replay it over in your head?” The words come out in sputters, flustered and meek. He makes a soft, contented hum in agreement.

“It’s not the same.”

“Lord, Connor…” you’re holding your stomach now, trying to physically stop the jumps and bumps inside your gut.

“I am not a lord.” He quips, voice all smiles.

“I am refusing to believe you don’t know what I mean…”

More laughter and he coos, “You got me. ‘Twas just a jest, m’lady.”

“You are so cheesy.” You snort, leaning back into your mattress and staring blankly at the ceiling. If you were a cartoon you probably would have dumb little heart eyes right now.

“I don’t know about that…” you hear what you presume is his desk chair squeak as he moves, probably swiveling.

“Nah, you’re a dork. Admit it.” You giggle, closing your eyes and just listening to him. All ears for this stupidly attractive android.

“I will not confirm that for you. I do not believe I am socially awkward — the definition of dork. I have a very sophisticated social relations program that has only been expanded on since my deviancy.”

You snort again, “English, Connor.”

“I am speaking English. Plainly, in fact,” he pauses for a few beats, and the smile is again evident in his voice, “Would you like me to put it in layman’s terms for you?”

Cheeky ass. You chew on the inside of your cheek before relinquishing the flesh and responding.

“Knock yourself out.”

More laughter, “I don’t think that would be enjoyable. My self-preservation protocol won’t allow it, either. I checked.”

“You checked, huh?” You coo sweetly back into the phone, managing to sound breathy and soft, “Just for me?”

There’s a what you would call a loud pause. Connor doesn’t respond long enough that you even check to make sure the call is still connected. It is.

He clears his throat suddenly, voice soft, sincere, “J-just for you… yeah.”

“Good boy.” You find yourself saying. Then you smack your head with the heel of your palm — stupid! Cringe fills your gut and you squirm anxiously in your bed.

Another pause. You’re about to fish out a pregnancy test for how long this one takes because you’re pretty sure it’s a pregnant pause. You've almost passed away from embarrassment when he pipes up.

“I… am confused why I liked that so much. Why did you say that?”

You can’t say you’re stunned at his words, but you’re sure feeling something. You hastily make up an excuse.

“Because you remind me of a puppy! You have that kind of face, y’know?” You’re laughing albeit nervously as you let him process that.

“I’m not sure how I feel about that…” the android confesses and you laugh awkwardly, feeling a tad guilty. You hadn’t told him a complete lie, really…

“I meant it as a compliment! Who doesn’t like dogs?”

“Some people, but I am not one of them.” You visibly relax when you hear that smile in his voice again. Phew, thank god for small miracles. You did not want to explain the intricacies of the sexual connotations of the phrase ‘good boy’ to Connor. At least, not yet.

But one thing is for sure: Connor has a thing for praise. Might even have a praise kink if one of his many features included the ability to derive sexual pleasure, let alone have sex. You briefly wonder if he has the equipment to do the deed installed.

You jump when you hear your name soft through your phone’s speaker.

“Y-yeah?” You’re definitely blushing.

“I’m about to clock out… thanks for talking with me.” His voice is so warm, so thankful and sweet. You melt a little.

“Thank you for talking to me, too, Connor.” You murmur back. You hear him make that soft hum of contentment again, except this time he sounds a little dopey doing it.

“I’ll see you tonight.” He promises and you find yourself turning in your bed, smiling.

“See you tonight, detective.”

“Bye…” he says and you’re pretty sure you’re akin to melted chocolate right now.

“Bye, Connor…”

He doesn’t hang up, you both stay on the line and then you giggle.

“What?” He sounds almost reverent, but in a strange dreamy way. Curious and kind.

“Connor, you’re supposed to hang up.”

“Right. I will do that now. Bye…” he says your name and the call ends. You let your phone drop beside your head and let out a long sigh, coming down to Earth from what you can only define as heaven. Where the angel boy lived, perfectly pristine.

You needed to get ready… but you found your vision unfocusing; your eyes glazing over with heated thoughts invading your dumb, dumb mind. Connor’s face, his voice, even his hands flooded ever synapse — he spread like a virus in your mind and body. He turned your mind into mush and raised your body temperature.

You didn’t normally do this, usually you had more self control… but as you imagined Connor’s soft synthetic fingers tracing down your spine you couldn’t ignore the agonizing heat pooling in your lower belly. His voice caused your body to catch fire, burning hot at your core; you replayed your conversations over and over in your mind — your brain adapting, cutting and mixing his voice to say new things, things you wanted to desperately hear from him. Absolutely naughty, impure things.

Your hand slinked down your stomach and under the waistband of your panties until you found your wet core. You gasp, eyes snapping down to your hand as it retracts slowly for you to examine it. You’re absolutely fucking soaked — from tame flirting by a man you honestly don’t know enough about to feel this strongly about so fast.

But… you didn’t find it in you to care. Connor is so sweet, kind, and honestly more than worthy of your time. Your hand finds its place again, at your most sensitive epicenter. Another hand reaches up and cups one of your breasts, pinching your already taut nipple. Hot pants escaped your mouth, breathy and needing as you started to circle your clit before swiping at it. With a squeak of stimulation you snap your eyes shut, brows furrowing in focus as you worked yourself, thinking of Connor speaking sweet words in your ear and pretending your touch was his. It didn’t take long for you to unravel, moaning as your thighs quivered and toes curled. You road out your orgasm, everything muddy and distorted with pleasure as you opened your eyes and scanned your room.

“Fuck…” you breathed, your voice still heavy with lust. Slowly, you came back to yourself, the room refocusing. With a small, almost guilty sigh, you sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed.

You’ve never masturbated to a real life person before. You wondered about the moral ethics of doing so, feeling your stomach sinking lower and lower with every passing anxious thought. You had been so impulsive, masturbating to Connor like that. Did that count as objectifying him? Reducing him to just a means of pleasure for yourself… no, he was more than that to you.

You think.

No, you’re pretty sure.

Connor was… special to you, he didn’t just envoke sexual feelings from you. You wanted to know more about him, to grow to care for him.

So perhaps you will do just that.

…

The rain hadn’t stopped by the time you got to work. You had to pop the hood of your hoodie on and hug yourself as you braced the cool autumnal breeze and braved the downpour of rain to get inside the club. Once inside you made a beeline for the women’s dressing room to peel the wet fabric of your hoodie off.

“Hey!” A bubbly voice called from behind you, almost causing you to jump out of your skin mid-strip. Your head was caught in the hoodie temporarily, but then you finished, throwing it off and onto your section to the long counter that made up the vanity area. You saw your verbal attacker in the mirror behind you, your fellow dancer and coworker, an android named Hannah, but she went by Pearl here. Perfect ginger hair, green eyes, and pale, freckled skin. She had on her work clothes: a lacy black teddy with her nipples covered by heart-shaped pasties. You finally smiled at her, “Hey to you too, Pearl.”

Her LED was a soft blue as she moved over to sit on the counter, her legs dangling from it as she looked at you with interest, “I didn’t know if you would be at work today after last night.”

You squeezed the excess moisture from the rain that managed to invade your hair, annoyed because you had thought it was made up cutely before you left home. Then you glanced back up at the mirror, looking at Pearl.

“Nah, I’m okay. Honestly? I’ve had worse.” You unceremoniously point to your bruised throat, now rid of the makeup you’d painted to hide it earlier; it had come off with make up remover and soap in the shower. You had been thankful it wasn’t as sensitive as last night or this morning.

Pearl gasped at the bruises that kissed your skin, “Ow!”

“Yeah, ow is right.” You plop yourself down on your stool and place your purse on the counter, digging for your makeup bag in it.

“Also, hold up? You’ve had worse physical abuse before? Talk about yikes — I hope that was long ago!!” Her lips formed a pout of concern as she looked down at you, legs idly kicking as she studied you. Your eyes meet hers in a brief glance and you nod in agreement.

“Yeah, long ago.” You do not elaborate and pull out your bag full of cosmetics. More people file into the dressing room, causing a momentary respite from Pearl’s all-seeing eyes. A few other women comment on how you’re at work and you give similar responses out like candy on Halloween.

You were dressed in your attire for the night: a blue babydoll gown with lacy cups, much like Hannah’s, including nude colored pasties as well as a matching thong and short white heels. It was lingerie night, apparently. Other girls were clad in similar outfits — the dressing room turned into a sea of multicolored lacy tits and ass. Makeup application was a fast process, you spent more time covering up the bruises on your neck than you did your face — dreamy swaths of nude colors and shimmery angelic highlighter. Your lips were the color of a bunny’s tongue, perfectly soft pink. Satisfied with your appearance, you locked up your purse and clothing in your locker and made your way out into the fray.

It was still early, the music actually just turning on as you walked around, bored. There weren’t any patrons yet, and you found yourself watching the door so hard you don’t even realize your name is being called.

“Girl, oh my god, hey there — Earth to Magic!” An effeminate voice croons over your shoulder, fingers slinking around you to snap in your face. You jump like a cat then whip around and frown at him.

“Sunset, damn it! Don’t sneak up on me!”

The dark complected man frowned back, crossing his arms over his bare chest with a huff; a curl of his beautiful black hair bouncing onto his forehead with the motion, “I’ll have you know I did not sneak up on you this time — I was calling you, Magic! I called you at least a gazillion and one times. Your head is off in lala land, honey.”

Your eyes lurk back to the entrance, movement catching your attention. Not Connor. You relinquish your focus back to Sunset, who most definitely saw that. He grinned like the Cheshire Cat, “Ooo, expecting someone?”

You scoffed, crossing your arms as he relaxed his, “No! Well, maybe! Shit…”

He squealed in what you can only assume is glee, placing his hands on your shoulders and shaking you excitedly.

“Spill the beans, the tea, all the fucking groceries, honey!!”

You stabilize yourself by placing your hands on his chest, stopping his nonsensical shaking. Sunset’s dark, almost black eyes gleamed like two shiny onyx marbles at you — full of interest. You removed your hands from him and plucked his hands from your shoulders, one by one.

“Fine, but you cannot bother him…” you glance back at the entrance, “If he comes…”

“Girl, we just opened. Don’t get your panties in a wad because he wasn’t waiting at the door like a fucking dog.”

You sighed, “You have a point.”

Sunset nodded solemnly, hands on his hips, nodding, “I always do!”

You’re delusional to think you’ve escaped Sunset’s glittery clutches, as he jumps you with another question.

“Is he cute? What’s he look like? Is he bi? Maybe I can tease him, too!”

Thoughts flutter across your mind: Connor’s visage, his laughter, then a question that you honestly didn’t know. What is Connor’s sexuality… was he even capable of true sexual behavior? You assumed his original programming didn’t include sex and the nuances of sexuality… could he, did he download the information like a file off the internet. Click here for bisexuality! No, it has to be more complicated than that.

Then jealousy bubbles up as Sunset jabs you about teasing him. That’s when you realized something.

You didn’t want to share the detective.

You wanted him all for yourself.

“He’s a brunette… tall, brown eyes. White, I guess…” you begin, offering Sunset physical attributes of Connor. He raises a curious eyebrow.

“You guess? Do you think he’s mixed and white passing?”

You sigh, shaking your head, “No he looks white. But, he’s… well, he’s an android.”

Sunset blinks, taking in that information. He taps his lips with his pointer finger, “Hmm…”

“Hmm?” You feel defensive under Sunset’s gaze.

“Can he… reciprocate properly?”

“Excuse me?” Your voice comes out as a growl. Sunset looks sheepish, maybe even sorry.

“It’s just… the whole revolution and deviancy was just twoish years ago, right? Have they had enough time to develop enough of their psyche to have complicated relations - sexual or otherwise? I know androids can fuck, but can they feel — I don’t know — passion?”

You dropped your guard, mulling that over, turning over the information in your mind like a 3D object — you really bit down and chewed on it. Sunset brought up a good point: was it even ethical to play these games with Connor? Is that why you felt guilty after masturbating to him earlier? No, surely…

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by your name being called by your manager, “Magic! Come here for a sec, would you?”

“Yeah, coming!” You call over your shoulder, about to leave before you feel Sunset’s hand on your arm. Your eyes meet his, concern swimming in them.

“I don’t mean to rain on your parade, girlie-pop. Just… be careful, ok?”

You can only manage a tight, but sincere, smile. You nod and he sets you free to go to your manager.

Your manager, Dawn, was an older butch woman, heavy set and intimidating to those who didn’t know her. Deep down, she was a softie and absolutely spoiled her workers, whom she called her babies. Blonde hair was cropped short, close to her head and her eyes were a brilliant shimmering gray, akin to a smooth, wet stone you could pluck from a river. Dawn had a smart tablet in her hand, swiping down what you can only assume is a list, maybe opening inventory. She sees you approach and gives you a warm smile.

“Hey baby girl, how are you feeling after last night? Sure you’re up to riding in this god-forsaken rodeo?” Her voice is humorous, light, but there’s for sure some concern in there the comedy is masking. You nod, smiling.

“Yeah, I’m feeling good tonight. Don’t worry about me, Dawn.”

Your manager shakes her head, “That’s my job, baby. Now, if you’re sure you’re up for it, I have you scheduled as floor candy. Just have fun, no dancing tonight unless they shove a huge wad of cash in your face or something.”

You snort, internally cursing.

“I’ll set a five hundred minimum fee for tonight, then. For the private Magic experience.”

“Baby, raise it to a thousand at least, you got bills to pay… now get outta here and have fun!”

You giggle and take your leave.

Time passes and you find yourself hovering around the entrance, basically greeting patrons. You pray you’re not pulled away before Connor gets here. If… Connor gets here. You glance at the clock on the wall, the digital numbers conveying the time in bright white light: 10:12 pm. You nervously rolled your lip with your teeth. You wished you could have your cell out here, but where would you keep it? In your fucking thong strap? You sigh, turning to the rest of the floor when you hear your name, causing you to whip your head towards the sound so fast you might have whiplash.

Connor is there at the door, absolutely drenched and dripping wet from rain. You stare at him, daring yourself to pinch yourself. But you don’t have time as he approaches you with long, fast strides, shrugging off his sopping wet blazer, exposing his equally wet dress shirt that clung deliciously to his pale synthetic skin; you could even see the color through the fabric, you could see his nipples poking through.

“Hey…” He said, breathless and right in front of you. You force your eyes up, to his face, like the proper lady you are. You want to be cute, maybe even sexy, but all that comes out of your mouth is a mirrored, “Hey…”

The android smiled endearingly at you, his eyes crinkling and a dimple forming in his cheek. From this close you noticed subtle freckling in his skin… you marvel at him and he finally looks you over.

“What took you so long?” Your voice sounds like a whine. Your question is petulant; he has a life, just like you. He wasn’t attending to you hand and foot. Still, his eyes found yours again, his face apologetic and puppy-like. He was like a long lost puppy, drenched to the bone.

“Sorry, it was Sumo’s birthday. I should have mentioned that.” He chuckles softly, getting distracted by something again as he scans you over. Its dark in the corner you were hiding in by the entrance, but you’re almost certain he’s blushing that beautiful blue blood - thirium, it’s apparently called. The clubs sold drinks of it at the bar, but android patrons were not common, usually only the android workers ordered that stuff.

“Sumo?” You finally ask, and his eyes snap back to yours, having been traveling elsewhere. He nods, laughing, “Yeah, Lieutenant Hank’s dog. It was his birthday. I got him a doggy birthday cake… he really liked it.”

“That’s so cute, Connor. Are you made of marshmallows and rainbows, too?” You giggle, eyes twinkling.

“No… I’m unfortunately inedible.”

“Have you tested that out?” You croon almost immediately back at him and, yep, he’s for sure blushing — even harder now,

“I…” he looks down at you, something deep burning in his eyes. An unmistakable wanting, a need. Without a word, you take his hand, pulling him into a VIP room. He follows you wordlessly, his shoes squelching wetly behind you with each step. You lead him to the center of the couch cushions, pushing him with a gentle hand on his chest to sit. He compiles obediently, looking at you like you’re made of something precious. Gold, perhaps? Diamonds? He’s enraptured, pupils blown out and curious, seeking more of the stimulation only you can provide.

You reach out to him, your palm cupping his cheek, fingers brushing his face, one brushing the edge of his LED, which is spinning a fervent yellow. Your thumb rubs soothing circles in the flesh of his cheek.

“Can I…” his voice is so sweet, almost saccharine in your ears; he balls his fists, squeezing down before releasing them — he does this a few times as he musters up the courage to finish his sentence.

“Can I… touch you?” Connor asks. He sounds so innocent, so sweet. Your breath catches in your throat and he quickly adds, his voice turning soft, whispering, “Is that allowed? I don’t want to break a rule…”

Your hand slowly retreats from his cheek, leaving him with a silent plea in his eyes. That is, until you sit down on his sideways, turning to him, placing your hands on his shoulders and looking down into those deep, rich brown eyes. In the light of the VIP room, red, they gleaned a color akin to maroon. You carefully straddle him before sitting back down.

His face is so blue, even his ears, again, are not just dusted but burning with it. His breaths are shallow, measured, as slow. Each breath coming out in cool puffs that tickle your skin.

“You…” he gulps, his chest expanding visibly in front of you, “You haven’t answered my question…”

Now was the moment of choice: what were you going to do? Technically you weren’t supposed to let patrons touch you — no getting handsy and all that. But, you two were in a private room… and he was practically begging you. Then a thought occurred to you: was Connor a virgin? Did him being a virgin complicate things? You didn’t think so, he’s obviously been enthusiastically consenting to everything so far. You watch him in wonder as he gazes back up at you, sitting on the edge of the metaphorical ocean cliffside, waiting for the okay to take to the water.

Fuck it.

“Yes, Connor, you can touch me.”

You thought he would jump at the opportunity like a fish to water, swimming fast through the currents, but as he raised his quivering hands, he looked to you, uncertain but also drowning in what had to be lust.

“Where… do I start?” the synthetic angel speaks, his voice gilded and perfect in every way; his voice held a clear passion that caused you to melt a little inside. Blush dusted your cheeks as you let out a long breath to cool down. Then you asked with the softest, feather-light voice you could muster.

“What do you want to do?”

[enigmasepiphanies]

Give the chloroplasts freckles

Doom be the dew

Watch aloe morph into pineapple

See petals become thorn edged

Purple dots upon a green ground

And the throb not yet moist

Lifeblood intact I suggest you walk away

The jungle has a bite unlike a mouth

Not of any animal

Not Seymour nor Venus

Can trap my ass

Ima crab dance away

Send axles at least two

It’s a get out of jail free card I need

I’m a plant

Give me your legs

I want to walk

I want to run

I want to hopscotch past the pots

Let’s swim and splash

I don’t need two tails

I want on my one tale

A tale older than my new shoes

But younger than stupidity

[cuprohastes]

The use of (Super) weapons

By the time they breached the core, there weren't many of them left. And for some of them, there wasn't much left individually.

The men thought they'd been lucky. Any more of a delay and the rumour was that the commander was going to give the injured a field promotion to KIA, as the euphemism went.

But despite the ancient guardian systems: The traps and mechanisms that had been designed so that the survivors of the builders could pass on access to their descendants via a priesthood, the automatons, weapons exhausted, reaching out with talons like scythes, the pitfalls and doors hidden in the walls, they'd done it.

The commander sent the last priest on ahead, the old man's mumbled recollections of the Steps Of The Inheritors had gotten them this far, and the old man carefully navigated to the centre of the room.

The old man stopped at the Altar, and turned, voice hoarse.

"You slew my people to claim this holy treasure but now it is I wh-" the old man got out before the Commander shot him in the face.

"Predicatable." the commander said and hopscotched over the trap tiles, kicking the old priest into the tranch that ranged the Altar.

"Now let us see what the Ancients have left for us?" he said with satisfaction and deftly twisted the lock to open the altar.

It unflowered silently, movements smooth unlike the lurching armoured guardians, it's surface unmarred by time. A pedestal rose with the seated human form of the Executor of The Will.

The being opened it's eyes and looked at the commander.

"Fuck off." it said succinctly and vanished back into the altar.

After pitching a minor fit and executing the injured anyway, the commander and the remaining Fathian Guards ringed the alter with anything that might prevent it from closing and unfastened the lock.

The executor once more rose into place, wound up and then smartly kicked the commander in the nuts.

"I told you to fuck off." it said.

The third time, the commander stayed far enough back.

"I have summoned you. I have the authorisation!" he said.

"Oh. Well, that's nice." said the Executor and vanished back into the later, snapping two crowbars and taking the hand off of one of the soldiers who reached into grab the being.

The fourth time, the commander yelled "Auth code Alpha one seven amber nine one four victor!" as fast as he could.

"OK then," the executor said. "What's on your mind?"

The Commander shot his two remaining men. "I am declaring myself the Emperor of the Fathian Realm. With you beside me we will take the throne, crush all dissent and a new golden age will rise, where I will rule all..."

"mm. No." said the Executor.

"... i , what?" the Commander (Now nominally Emperor) said, dumbfounded. "I have the command codes!"

"This is an ultimate weapon, and I am an ultimate safety catch." the Executor said. "And you seem, pardon my Fathian, to be a complete shit."

"You can't talk to me that way!"

"Why not? Oh wait, were you planning to shoot me and y'know, permanently disable the Ultimate Weapon?" the Executor asked casually, "Maybe threaten to shoot..." it looked around and then made a show of looking into the trench where the old priest had fallen. "... never mind, you already did. Whelp, looks like you're out of leverage!"

"But... I have the command code." the Commander said, waving his gun vaguely.

"Sure but that didn't work out the first time around. How do you think the people out there ended up living in the ruins of their own civilisation? They built me, pointed me at the entire rest of the world and told me to do my thing. And since ethically the best possible course was to not kill eight and a half billion people, that's what I did."

"But... you're a weapon. The weapon."

"No I'm the user interface."

"You can't refuse to fire!"

"Historically it would be safe to say that's what I am known for."

"... there have to be manual controls."

"Oh sure. They're in a hermetically sealed doom just over there." the Executo said. A door opened, lights coming on, showing a pristine clean room airlock.

"The instructions are about two and a half thousand years out date, language-wise but you seem to speak it fine. Shouldn't take you more than a couple of days to learn." the Executor said cheerfully.

The Commander squinted at the suddenly compliant Executor then spun about, and marched to the airlock. He checked it very carefully, and entered the control room, spinning to check for traps. They crossed to where the instructions were engraved on titanium sheets, and looked back through the glass door, smirking and pulling gloves on in case of poison.

The executor mimed pressing buttons and then a big kaboom.

The commander checked under the seats and consoles for booby traps and then started reading.

The Executor watched the Commander... by the fourth page they'd slumped over sleepily, swaying. They sat and gently tipped over, asleep.

The executor watched with crystal eyes until the Commander had stopped breathing. "Oh well. I guess a high nitrogen atmosphere will do that," the executor said to themself, as they started up the hidden factory below the citadel to create scavenger units, repair drones and cleaning bots. They took a last look around and climbed back into the altar.

[woozisnoots]

svt in college! | alex edition

° pairing: ot13 x reader ° genre: fluff(?), what my stream of consciousness finds funny, college!au ° word count: 1034 ° warning: slightttt violence ° a/n: i know i have requests to write >< but i really needed to write smth fun :( act as a shot of of serotonin into my veins ahahaha [insert fratboy emoji] disclaimer tho - this was ENTIRELY SELF INDULGENT and very very catered to me which is why vernon’s is unnecessarily long SO IM SORRY !!! i still hope you guys think its fun :D

° masterlist! 

seungcheol: a business major, minoring in international relations. has the slightest crush on you but suppresses it pretty well without you realizing because he knows you like someone else. he likes to take you on what he calls bestie dates to a nearby arcade or places to eat when you’re stressed.

jeonghan: a psych major, minoring in communications, whom you oddly spend a lot of time with because he asks for homework help every other day when you’ve only taken 1-2 psych classes in your entire life :P but he’s a good listener and subs in as therapist on the weekdays so you let him stick around. 

joshua: an english major. doesn’t know why and slightly regrets it but if it means he can keep the tinie bookshelf he has in his doom to make it look like he’s smart, then that’s motivation to keep him going. you tolerate him because you guys randomly go on trips at 2am and buys you food :D

jun: a childhood education major. the friend of a friend of a friend of someone’s cousin that happen to be your friend and so you see him at parties sometimes :) actually really fun to be around when you’re not too much into the party scene and play hopscotch or bean bag toss outside the persons’ backyard. 

soonyoung: the loud dance team captain that won’t give you 5 minutes of quiet time waiting for your chem professor to open the door to the lab room because he has his speakers on at max volume dancing to kelly clarkson,,,, he’s pretty chill otherwise, he’s in my math class. claims hes the eye of the tiger when he comes to class in leopard print

wonwoo: premed that’s somehow taking enough classes to graduate with a literature minor. he and cheol talk a lot because they’re in the same broadcasting club or something of the sort. you guys acknowledge each other’s presence and share a moment of tea together sometimes with cheol.

jihoon: double majoring in music composition and theory. says he absolutely hates it because he thinks the work he does is completely pointless. but then goes on to write you like 27484737 love songs within a week for a single assignment. denies to other people that you’re his best friend and that he hates your guts but you’re the only one allowed in his private studio on school days and can fiddle with his equipment sometimes :3

minghao: an art major minoring in history. eventually wants to be a gallery director so he can hold his own. you make him drag you everyone for his work when you’re bored or have free time bc he takes pictures for the school newspaper/website. you guys strike a negotiation that you drive and he buys snacks. 

mingyu: you only know him for playing in your uni’s (american) football team. his tall ass is like linebacker or some shit you don’t even know his major. you had to take a kickboxing class for PE credit and you swept him to the ground and put him a choke hold. you never let him live that down everrr. you also steal his lunch money from his bag when he’s at practice.

seokmin: a musical theatre major, minoring in music composition. you guys met through jihoon. you were absolutely FLOORED when you heard him sing as the lead for the school’s spring musical. it is now tradition that you guys get crepes after every show and make jihoon pay B) he hangs out with you and jihoon a lot and randomly make music together. and ahahaha people think jihoon and seokmin are fighting over you!! >:( that’s absolutely preposterous, seokmin is too good of a soul (you say this as you help him kneed dough for the pizza you guys are making together)

seungkwan: an education major, minoring in music because he wants to teach music to little kiddos ^-^ THE BESTEST OF THE BESTIES!!! like if you’re not hanging out with jihoon/seokmin or cheol, you crash at seungkwan’s apartment and raids his kitchen when you run out of groceries ;D he keeps making fun of you for your car until you remind him that he can’t drive. on the weekends, you guys love to bake muffin, cookie, or cake recipes to prep for the daycare on mondays :3

vernon: okay actually, he doesn’t go to college SHDJSJSHS you met him on the side of the road once when you decided to walk instead of using your car (silly you!) and you saw vernon doing some cool graffiti art (IT WASN’T VANDALISM!!!). which was a total coincidence because at that point, you were ready to take a bus and wait right at the bus stop where he set up. since it was a long wait, you guys talked and he kept you company. you learn that this is actually a big project he’s been working on and is finally getting paid big bucks for something he really likes doing. you learn that he’s a great conversationalist and you miss the bus first bus ride home and have to wait another hour or so whoops! this becomes more and more of a daily thing, slowly getting to know each other. fast forward months later and it’s your birthday :D and you don’t expect anything at all because how would he know, you don’t really like your birthday anyways UNTIL vernon surprises you with a spray paint drawing of your favorite animal! and then asks you out on a date and you guys fall deeply in love

chan: a linguistics major. yeah, he doesn’t know why either, he’s just rolling with it. says he’s liking it so far, but no one really knows if he’s lying or not, including yourself. you drag chan to college events like club fairs and rallies because you’re too embarrassed to go alone and no one else wants to go LOL he begs you to drive him places during your three day weekends because he always wants to go off campus and do stuff with you and the guy pals, but he doesn’t like the freeway :/ its fine though because he pays for gas. 

[adimelymanner]

Sweetest, Biggest Fan

This will literally waste your time so...you’ve been warned.

Just based off of this picrew (mine is last) because it gave me crazy Bakugou fan vibes. I’m not going to wait because it will end up like the other things and never see the light of day so apologies if there’s editing mishaps. I know it’s Feb but new year new me!

Words: 1.2K

Warnings: This plays with the Yandere theme so keep that in mind. No smut, no “kinks” of mine, just a random post that I already warned you about ,but see you are refusing to listen and need to learn for yourself...

Honestly it’s just me being a menace writing about a menace...Also this didn’t paste how I wanted so... enjoy 😉

Begin Scene 👏🏾

Anyone else would have simply turned off the television. Or maybe pause and squeal with joy that the real life Dynamight was going to be in the same neighborhood at such close vicinity. Hell they might even call up their friends to start planning a meet up at the location. But fuck that - you weren't just anyone. What would be nothing to anyone else sent anger pulsing through your veins, but who could blame you? You were his biggest fan. When you saw the interview with that wretched bakeshop owner a few blocks away on the news stating that Bakugou Katsuki “Lord Undercut” Explosion Murder (and greatest hero in your mind) would be gracing them with his presence you were almost happy. Almost. But that damn woman with her damn rosy cheeked smile seemed soooo thrilled that her rank little shop had been damaged by him during a villain pursuit. So thrilled because the incident caused the agency to force Bakugou to make an appearance once they reopened to get business back up and running. You remember her lips stretching ear to ear sharing that she would make him the best dessert he had ever tasted. 

You scoffed. She was so annoyingly enthusiastic, but he didn't even like sweets! Pathetic. Of course you weren’t surprised, not everyone knew him like you did. The poor girl was just stupid is all but it still pissed you off. You weren’t jealous you just knew he didn't want to subject himself to wasting his time because you knew him. She wasn't even his type! How could she be? She wasn't you. You wanted to wipe that little smile off of her face and knew just the way to do it. It was an efficient way to kill two birds with one stone honestly. Save him from wasting time and save her from the embarrassment. Heh maybe she would be calling you a hero afterwards, but there wouldn’t be a chance for her to get the words out. Unfortunately she wouldn’t have a chance to see him take his first bite.

You even got a little cute beforehand juuuust in case you happened to run into him. You were always prepared to see him. A turtle neck here, a pair of ass blessing leggings there and voila! Oh..and your spiked brass knuckles - a cute accessory and essential for handling your business at the bakery. 

It was late - surely no one would hear you. The neighborhood wasn’t that great, so the chances that someone would notice the sound of glass breaking when you took your metal bat to it was little to none. You didn’t mean to make such a rude entrance, it’s that bitch’s fault for locking the door! Honestly you didn’t have time to feel bad. You stepped into the shop, music still playing probably because she was either too excited to remember or she was still oddly in the shop. You didn’t care. You hopped over the counter, not even caring about the cupcake display you knocked over, it was probably stale anyway. If she was really a fan she would have made a fresh display for him, but no she didn’t and that’s why you couldn’t allow him to waste time on scrubs like her. Honestly the things you do for that man.

You made your way to the kitchen where you couldn't decide if it was heaven or hell. All of those (albeit delicious) delicacies on any other day would have called your name, but today you only thought about how people would be lining up in a matter of hours to have the chance to see him - YOUR idol dammit. The thought made you grab the nearest tart and  throw it against the wall. Ooh - that was therapeutic. You ripped the plastic off of the tray of cupcakes grasping one in each hand as you closed them within your fist feeling the cream filled dessert squish between your fingers. “Red velvet” you questioned as you sniffed the air - not bad. You slammed down palms first onto the table flattening two more as a jelly bursted out onto the table meeting their doom. Taking hold of a few cookies you crushed them together and twisted, making them crumble in your hand. The cakes at the other end? They tasted the ground as you swiped your arm shoving each one off the surface. The last thing it saw was the bottom of your boot as your shoe came down, filling the grooves of your sole with fudge icing and cake. After a quick game of hopscotch you took a break from stomping all over her precious time and continued your search.

There was a door in the back that was slightly cracked. That has to be it! You printed the floor with your icing covered footsteps, closer and closer until you reached the room and slowly pushed the door open further. 

Jackpot. 

You just knew the precious little thing wouldn’t leave the bakery. Back in the corner, sweating alllll that time before you figured out the hiding spot. Little shit probably knew what was coming. You were staring directly into the very thing that would cause your precious Dynamight so much trouble tomorrow.You were quick in getting close landing a nice swift kick from the side; you couldn’t wait to knock that bitch off the pedestal the media had delicately given up. You didn’t want to stop kicking but you wanted to get more personal. You looked down and took it all in, broken, leaking red on the floor admiring your work before you got on your knees and put those brass knuckles to use. It was almost too easy the way the spikes punctured through causing the dark rouge color to splatter all over your face. It was cold once it hit your face and dripped down your cheek. “Take that” as you landed another spiked smash. 

You were breathing heavily reviewing your work. Shattered and painting the walls it looked so pretty, so...tasty. You knew you had to leave soon but couldn’t help yourself as you took two fingers and swiped them across the red liquid bringing it to your tongue letting your taste buds relish in the moment. “Mmmmm”, tangy yet sweet, a delicious mixture of flavors coming from the cherry filling even after being battered into almost nothing. You almost felt bad for what you did - it wasn’t too sweet, he actually might’ve liked it. Still, you got up and made your way back to the front of the store reviewing your work as you strutted towards the window. People would surely be showing up early to see him, so you had to run home to make sure you were ready. He’s going to be so relieved! Maybe he’ll take you on a private trip to show his gratitude. You had saved him. You felt the crunch of the glass and looked back one more time. What would she think? Poor girl just had her bakery repaired... “Oh well”, you thought, “sorry it didn’t work out it’s just...I’m his biggest fan ya know? No hard feelings.” A toothy grin consumed your face as you hopped outside and waltzed your way home licking the cherry goodness off your lips wishing it was caramel instead.

[cardest]

Solar System playlist

Look up!  It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s....the Solar System playlist.  Click play here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC18LD_V5saMr7QzWS1Q3VAU6 

What’s out there beyond our own planet? A mystery at every turn. Mercury to Pluto. The Sun and the Moon, even Phobos gets a mention here. So come by the Neptune Towers and enjoy this Solar System playlist.

SOLAR SYSTEM

001 Amorphis - Far From The Sun 002 The Beatles - here comes the sun   003 Swans - Song For The Sun 004 Mastodon - Once More 'Round The SunStiff Little Fingers 005 Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun 006 Isaac Hayes - Driving In The Sun 007 Tom Petty - dark of the sun 008 DREAMTIME - Sun 009 Circus Diablo - Red Sun Rising 010 Tiamat - The Sun Also Rises 011 Covenant - Bringer of the sixth sun 012 Agoraphobic Nosebleed - hung from the rising sun 013 Alice in Chains - When the Sun Rose Again 014 Lindemann - Children Of The Sun 015 Paradise Lost - Return to the Sun 016 Popol Vuh - Morning Sun 017 Spiritual Beggars - Blood Of The Sun 018 Queens Of The Stone Age - My God Is The Sun 019 TREMENTINA - Kisses in your eyes (Almost Reach The Sun ) 020 Voivod - Divine Sun 021 Blues Pills - Little Sun 022 Neurosis - Enemy of the Sun 023 Extol - Behold The Sun 024 Septic Flesh - Infernal Sun 025 Lamb of God - Straight For The Sun 026 Ensemble Economique - Red For The Sun 027 Black Sabbath - Under The Sun 028 Jesu - Opiate Sun 029 Orchid - Into the Sun 030 The Young Gods - Kissing The Sun 031 Iron Maiden - brighter than a thousand suns 032 Swans - I Am the Sun 033 Therion - Son Of The Sun 034 Sun Ra - Sun song 035 Pink Floyd - eclipse 036 Mike Patton - Eclipse Of The Sun 037 Bonnie Tyler - Total eclipse of the heart 038 God Is An Astronaut - First Day Of Sun 039 Elton John - Don’t let the sun go down on me 040 Eddie Fisher - Sunrise, Sunset 041 Hopscotch Songs - The Planets of our Solar System Song 042 Michael Schenker Group - Blood Of The Sun 043 Iron Maiden - total eclipse 044 Solefald - Sun I Call 045 Man or Astro-Man? - Antimatter Man 046 Kreator - when the sun burns 047 Creedence Clearwater Revival - bad moon rising 048 George Harrison - beware the darkness 049 Heretoir - To Follow The Sun 050 Cat Stevens - Moonshadow 051 Hypocrisy - Adjusting the Sun 052 Rush - Between Sun & Moon 053 Manfred Mann - blinded by the light 054 Sevendust - Black Out The Sun 055 Sunbeam Sound Machine - Real Life 056 Bill Withers - Ain’t no sunshine 057  Gwar - They Swallowed the Sun 058 Katatonia - Ghost Of The Sun 059 The Beatles - I’ll follow the sun 060 Sammy Hagar - little eclipse/sunshine 061 Stevie Wonder - you are the sunshine of my life 062 Pink Floyd - fat old sun 063 Sun Ra - Sunology 064 Mystic Sunship - out there 065 Cream - sunshine of my love 066 Diesto - High As The Sun 067 Sunwølf -  SOlar 068 Kyuss - Molten Universe 069 Moonspell - Shadow sun 070 Neurosis - A Sun That Never Sets 071 Therion - An Arrow From The Sun 072 Candlemass - The Killing Of The Sun 073 Xandria - Kill The Sun 074 Morgoth - Drowning Sun 075 Primordial - Wield Lightning to Split the Sun 076 Lake of Tears -When My Sun Comes Down 077 Jackie DeShannon - Where Does The Sun Go 078 Peter Criss - Down With The Sun 079 Walker Brothers - The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore 080 Devin Townsend - Midnight Sun 081 Sigh - Midnight Sun 082 Black Label Society -  Dark Side of the Sun 083 AMORPHIS - Moon and sun 084 Cynic - Moon Heart Sun Head 085 Sun Ra - Planet Earth 086 David Lynch - Sun Can't Be Seen No More Sarah No More 087 Opeth - Moon Above, Sun Below 088 The Eternal - A Quiet Death of The Sun 089 High On Fire - The Sunless Years 090 The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Third Stone From The Sun 091 Bruce Dickinson - Navigate The Seas of The Sun 092 Voivod - Mercury 093 Melechesh - Of Mercury And Mercury 094 Gustav Holst - Mercury, the Winged Messenger 095 Clutch - Mercury 096 Soilwork - Mercury shadow 097 Satyricon - Mental Mercury 098 Moonspell - Moon in mercury 099 Poisonblack - Mercury Falling 100 Alejandro Jodorowsky, Ronald Frangipane & Don Cherry - Venus (Vond) 101 Boney M - Nightflight to Venus 102 Red Hot Chili Peppers - Subway To Venus Nihal Chahdi 103 The Nefilim - Venus Decomposing 104 Electric Wizard -Venus In Furs 105 Popol Vuh -  Venus Principle 106 Bananarama - Venus Venus Mosquera 107  Apocalyptica -  The Shadow of Venus 108 Archgoat - Sodomator Of The Doomed Venus 109 Ordo Rosarius Equilibrio - Phosphorus Ascending Anthem of Venus 110 Gustav Holst - Venus, the Bringer of Peace 111 Billy Idol - Venus 112 Boyd Rice - Between Venus and Mars 113  Dee D. Jackson - Venus, the goddess of love 114 Therion - Dark Venus Persephone 115 T-Rex - Venus loons 116 Television - Venus 117 Paul McCartney and Wings - Venus and Mars & Rock Show - 118  Theatre of Tragedy - Venus 119 David Bowie - Space oddity 120 The Byrds - Spaceman 121 To-Mera - Earthbound 122 Borknagar -  Inherit the Earth 123 Devin Townsend - Earth 124 William Shatner - Planet Earth 125 Clutch -  Earth Rocker  Jen Rocker 126 DEVO - Planet Earth 127 Misfits - Earth AD 128 Les Baxter - Earth light 129 Louis and Bebe Barron - Come Back to Earth with Me 130 Tristania - Tender Trip on Earth 131  Joseph Arthur & The Lonely Astronauts -  Lonely Astronaut 132 Voivod - Target Earth 133 Samael -  Son of Earth 134 Billy Preston - Space race 135 Alice Cooper - Last Man On Earth 136 Agalloch -  ...and the Great Cold Death of the Earth 137 Deep Purple - space truckin 138 Steve Miller Band  - space cowboy 139 Crowbar -  Liquid Sky And Cold Black Earth 140 Jesu - Mother Earth 141 Devin Townsend - Earth Day 142 Animals as Leaders -  Earth Departure 143 Amorphis -  Enchanted by the Moon 144 Goatsnake -  House of the Moon 145 Elton John - Rocket man 146 Cramps -  Rock On The Moon 147 The Stranglers - Rok It To The Moon (Bonus Track) 148 Frank Sinitra - fly me to the moon 149 Blood Ceremony - Drawing Down the Moon 150 Elvis Presley - flaming star 151 Les Baxter - The other side of the moon 152 In Flames -  Moonshield 153 Ozzy Ozbourne - bark at the moon 154 Fields Of The Nephilim - Moonchild 155 Iron Maiden - Moonchild 156 Blue Oyster Cult - stairway to the stars 157 Voivod -Moonbeam Rider 158 The Black Crowes -Black Moon Creeping 159 Grand Magus - Silver Moon 160 AC DC - next to the moon Craig Norman 161 Manilla Road - fires on Mars James Daniel danke 162 Alejandro Jodorowsky, Ronald Frangipane & Don Cherry - Marz (Esla) 163 Entombed A.D. - Down To Mars To Ride 164 Grateful Daed - dark star 165 Orange Goblin -  Return To Mars 166 Ascension of the Watchers - Mars becoming 167 Styx - come sail away 168 Faith No More - Woodpecker From Mars 169 Kreator -  Mars Mantra 170 The Misfits -  Mars Attacks 171 Gustav Holst - Mars, the Bringer of War 172 Judas Priest - invader 173 Electric Wizard - Priestess Of Mars 174 Queen - Flash Gordon 175 Stone Temple Pilots - First Kiss On Mars 176 Hoodoo Gurus - mars needs guitars 177 War Of The Worlds ~  The Eve of the War 179 Noble Jackals, Penny Dreadfuls and the Systematic Dehumanization of Cool -  Mars Needs Women 180 Alice Cooper - Might As Well Be On Mars 181 Total Recall Jerry Goldsmith - First Dream (Total Recall) 182 Laibach -Mars On River Drina 183 Lantlôs - Neige de Mars 184 The Misfits -  Teenagers From Mars 185 Voivod -  Phobos 186  2001_ A Space Odyssey Theme Song (Also sprach Zarathustra) 187 Covenant -  Planetary black elements 188 Killing Joke -  Asteroid 189 Kyuss - Asteroid 190 Alejandro Jodorowsky, Ronald Frangipane & Don Cherry - Jupiter (Clen) 191 Blues Pills -  Jupiter 192 Samael -  Jupiterian Vibe 193 Earth Wind & Fire - Jupiter 194 Tumbleweed - Jupiter  Aje Morris 195  The Cure - Jupiter Crash 196 Devin Townsend -  Jupiter 197 Gustav Holst - Jupiter, the Bringer of Jollity 198  Celestial Season - Jupiter 199 KATAKLYSM - EMBRACING EUROPA 200 David Bowie - I Took A Trip On a Gemini Spaceship 201 Isao Tomita - Space Fantasy 202 The Misfits -  Lost in Space 203 Gwar - Lust In Space 204 Alejandro Jodorowsky, Ronald Frangipane & Don Cherry - Saturn (Sal) 205 Älgarnas Trädgård - Rings Of Saturn 206 Electric Wizard - Saturn Dethroned 207 Les Baxter - [ Saturday night on saturn 208 While Heaven Wept -  Saturn And Sacrifice 209 Ash Pool -  On The Rings Of Saturn Adam And Eve Conceive Cain 210 Scott Kelly -  Saturn's Eye 211 Gustav Holst - Saturn, the Bringer of Old Age Ximenenes Y. Zeroth 212 Samael -  Born Under Saturn 213 The Devil's Blood -Everlasting Saturnalia 214 Stevie Wonder - Saturn 215 Circle - Saturnus Reality 216  R.E.M. -  Saturn Return 217  The B-52's - There's A Moon In The Sky (Called The Moon) 218  Fu Manchu - Saturn III 219 National Geographic Space Kit - The Eerie Sounds Of Saturn 220  AYREON - To the Solar System 221 Voivod -  Meteor 222 Alejandro Jodorowsky, Ronald Frangipane & Don Cherry - Uranus (Berg) 223  Klaatu- Anus Of Uranus 224 Arcturus -  Kinetic 225 Gustav Holst -  Uranus, the Magician 226  Cathedral - Suicide Asteroid 227  Movie Moment - Contact (First Contact) OST 228 Alejandro Jodorowsky, Ronald Frangipane & Don Cherry - Neptune (Axon) 229 Lisa Gerrard - Neptune 230 Neptune Towers - To Cold Void Desolation 231 Fu Manchu - Neptune's Convoy 232 Altar of Plagues -  Neptune Is Dead 233 Lenny Breau -  Neptune 234 Gustav Holst - Neptune, the Mystic 235  Darkthrone - Neptune Towers. 236 Neptune Sounds - Celestial Love Songs (NASA Voyager Recordings) 237  Jimi Hendrix - Valleys Of Neptune 238 Vista Chino -  Planets 1 & 2 239  DEATH - Vacant Planets 240 Black Sabbath - Planet Caravan 241 ZZ Top -  Planet of Women 242 Alejandro Jodorowsky, Ronald Frangipane & Don Cherry - Pluto (Lute) 243 Alchemist - Brumal - A View From Pluto 244 B 52s - Hallucinating Pluto 245 Charlie Hunter - Astronaut Love Triangle 246 YES - Arriving by UFO 247 Ramones - Zero Zero UFO 248  Jefferson Airplane - Have you seen the saucers 249 saxon - watching the sky 250 Devin Townsend -  Planet smasher 666 Voivod - Moonbeam Rider Hit play: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC18LD_V5saMr7QzWS1Q3VAU6

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 254: Who the Hell Is Bucky

Previously on BnHA: All Might welcomed 1-A back after the new year with a pun he’s probably been working on for the entire winter break, the poor man. Aizawa received a call :’) and drove down to Tartarus with Mic to meet up with Naomasa and Gran Torino. Nao and Gran were all “so you’ll NEVER GUESS, but we found out that Kurogiri’s quirk is apparently a FAKE QUIRK which was created from a bunch of other quirks -- AND GUESS WHICH ONE WAS THE ORIGINAL QUIRK?” and Aizawa was all (ಠ ∩ಠ), and Mic put a hand on his shoulder, and Nao was all “YEAH YOU DID GUESS, IT’S YOUR OLD DEAD PAL SHIRAKUMO, FROM CHAPTERS 59 THROUGH 65 OF VIGILANTES!” And okay, so (1) OH MY GOD, and (2) I originally thought this meant that Kurogiri is straight up a zombie!Shirakumo, but others pointed out that he might be some random other dude who just has Kumo’s quirk, among others. And like, okay. SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH.

Today on BnHA: Y’ALL HE REALLY IS A ZOMBIE!KUMO, AND NAOMASA AND GRAN BROUGHT AIZAWA AND MIC TO TALK TO HIM AND TRY TO RESTORE HIS MEMORIES SOMEHOW. Aizawa is all “this isn’t some fantasy world with happy endings, this is THE REAL WORLD WHERE MIRACLES DON’T HAPPEN!” but Gran is all “sometimes they do!” and Aizawa is like “!!” and so they sit down to chat with Kumo. Aizawa launches into a passionate speech about how great Kumo was and how he pulled him along and inspired him, and how he (Aizawa) is strict with his students now and -- get this -- FAKE-EXPELS THEM IN ORDER TO PUT THE FEAR OF GOD INTO THEM JUST ONCE LMAO, BUT IT’S BECAUSE HE CARES, and because he wants them to be great heroes and not hapless redshirts who get killed offscreen. And by the end of it he’s crying and imploring Shirakumo -- “if you’re still in there somewhere” -- to become heroes with him and Mic just like they always wanted. All of it is exactly as emotionally devastating as you would figure, btw.

you guys I have been playing hopscotch on my dash since yesterday trying to avoid spoilers about the popularity poll until I actually had time to write down my reactions! all I know is that of course Bakugou is #1 again, because this fandom always comes through lol. my other predictions are that the rest of the trio will receive lots of love again as well, and Hawks will once again be high on the list, and Aizawa too because of the Vigilantes flashbacks (at least HE BETTER), and probably the villains will get a big boost as well after their arc, Tomura in particular. and Endeavor might break the top 10 again too with the newest arc, although I can’t quite remember whether or not the poll was still going on by the time that started (ETA: actually I don’t think it was). but yeah. anyway so there’s a real possibility that most of the kids will actually be shut out of the top ranks because of these GROWN-UPS and VILLAINS stealing all their glory, smh. your time will come, kids

“more than anyone, you were a hero” oh is this chapter going to play with my feelings yet again. is this just going to happen every fucking week now. okay

HELL YEAH MY BOYS ON THE COVER

@unboundednamelessfuture, to answer your ask about whether I’m planning on watching Heroes Rising, the answer is a resounding YES, POSSIBLY EVEN MULTIPLE TIMES IN THEATERS IF I CAN SWING IT, because I’m pretty sure it’s actually just going to be All My Dreams Come True: The Movie. and yes I have seen some spoilers for it, although I’m not clear on whether or not they’re actual spoilers or just rumors. so because of that I won’t post my thoughts just yet, except to say that if it is true, see above re: All My Dreams Come True: The Movie, and also add a bunch more exclamation points at the end of the title omfg

anyway so my sons are famous now. they’re in Hollywood. good for them

AND NOW THE POLLLLLLLL YES

oh shit, I heard about “Deku & Bakugou Rising”, but is that out this week?? shit I’ll have to do a separate post if that’s the case. I’m assuming it’s more of a bonus chapter than an actual spinoff, kind of like the All Might chapter we got for the last movie. either way, to say I’m hyped would be a massive understatement, needless to say

(ETA: okay so I’ve seen Korean scanlations of this -- which I didn’t look at closely because spoilers -- but no English scans yet. so stay tuned!)

so I was wrong about the kids being shooed out of the top 10! I have never been so pleased to be wrong! so we have Kacchan at #1 (I love his face so much. ghlkhf), Deku at #2 (he beat Shouto this year! good for you!!), Shouto at #3 (wouldn’t be surprised if he and Deku were neck and neck again though), Kirishima at #4 (we stan one bright ray of sunshine), Iida at #5 (YOU DESERVE IT SO MUCH SWEETHEART. I’M SO GLAD FANDOM ISN’T SLEEPING ON THE ACTUAL BEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES), Tomura at #6 (DID YOU NOT GET THE MEMO ABOUT WEARING A NUMBER ON YOUR OUTFIT? MAKING ME FIGURE IT OUT FROM THE PROCESS OF ELIMINATION IS A REAL BASTARD MOVE. THEY SHOULD HAVE PUT YOU AT #8 TO MATCH YOUR CURRENT NUMBER OF FINGERS YOU STUPID SEXY JERK), Aizawa at #7 (THANK YOU FANDOM, YOU’VE REDEEMED YOURSELVES FROM LAST YEAR), Ochako at #8 (I LOVE YOUUUU), Toga at #9 (LADIES!!!!!!), and Momo at #10 (YES GIRRRRRL)

I think this is the strongest showing of ladies yet in the top ten (ETA: actually no, the second poll was slightly better) and I’m all about it. also can they all please keep these costume upgrades because YES. I don’t care if Horikoshi would get sick of drawing them. THAT’S WHAT ASSISTANTS ARE FOR. KATSUKI HAS A FUCKING BULLET BANDOLIER, COME ON, YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS JUST A ONE TIME THING YOU ASSCLOWNS, THIS IS FOR THE PEOPLE

lol here’s the abridged version of the Shirakumo flashbacks, I guess. everyone was saying last week how Vigilantes was now required reading, and like, I get that everyone’s excited about the crossover, but they still have to make this comprehensible for people who only read the main series. I’m guessing we’ll get the short version here, but Vigilantes gets to provide the more in-depth story for people who want to know more about everything, which is more or less what Vigilantes’s role has been in general

anyway so here’s Kumo doing his usual Naruto impression and cheerfully dooming himself by being ceaselessly optimistic and tempting fate’s sense of irony

you sure can! just so long as that crisis doesn’t involve big, heavy rocks, or gravity. I’m sorry kiddo

“‘let’s all form an agency together.’ it happened just after he said those words.” well there you have it, the BnHA equivalent of “one week left till my retirement.” hero training should really include a mandatory course titled Death Flags: The Silent Killers. there are children’s lives at stake here

lol yeah this really is abridged

“once upon a time we all wanted to be heroes and then Shirakumo got crushed by some rocks the end.” yeah, so maybe not quite the full emotional impact of the original lol

OH SHIT SON

so it is his reanimated corpse, then! which means the potential for him somehow dramatically regaining his memories is very high. since this is a shounen manga, I’m gonna go ahead and put it at... 100%. is that too low

guys I don’t know what to do when Present Mic is making faces like this

when even the Comic Relief Guy is getting all traumatized and serious, you know it’s bad. sob who will I turn to now for comfort. Horikoshi’s really just gonna go full dark no stars here and leave me just stumbling around lost

OH IF IT ISN’T THE ORIGINAL PIECE OF SHIT HIMSELF!!

yeah it makes perfect sense actually, you bastard. you steal the bodies from the crematorium and then give the families fake ashes or something. holy shit you really will not stop until you find the lowest possible level to stoop to, and then grab a fucking shovel and start digging so as to GO DOWN EVEN LOWER. just. god everything about this is just so wrong

oh btw, now seems like a good time to bring up this ask I got last week!

anon you blew my mind, just so you know. you’re absolutely right. so that’s one mystery down! though the way that this is going, I’m not so sure I’m gonna like any of the other answers that the Noumu arc is gonna provide us sob

holy shit look at this fucking simile

dead children = leftovers. sure why not. just in case we all forgot how evil he is

and also, YEAH BUDDY THAT’S WHAT I JUST FUCKING SAID, PLEASE KEEP UP. and who even knows how many other times AFO has done this. I hope they’ve started investigating crematoriums, then. I’m just waiting for them to make some connection that leads to them finally finding out about Ujiko, but that might take a while still

(ETA: although if they actually can get Kumo to talk...)

and did he really just solemnly call Mic “DJ” because omfg. Gran, are you the comic relief. do you even know. are you even aware

oh hey look another dagger to my heart

ouch. that was cold. and... not necessarily true, though, is it? because he was kind enough to Tomura. idk, I know my villain mom has done some horrible things, but you’ll be hard pressed to get me to think of him as all bad, even so. he was the one keeping Tomura from going FULLASS MURDER MODE!! for a long time

HEY WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF COP-OUT IS THIS

well then WHY DID YOU EVEN BRING THEM IN HERE! DID THEY NOT SEEM TRAUMATIZED ENOUGH TO YOU?? “well idk they seem pretty shaken up already, but just to make sure they grasp the full repugnant horror of the situation why don’t we make them visit him face to face.” OKAY THEN YOU SADISTS

son of a bitch and speaking of twisting the knife, Horikoshi keeps showing us these increasingly wrecked glimpses of Aizawa lowkey falling apart and I can’t

at this point the shadows under his eyes have their own shadows. and god dude, I know you’re rational, but it’s really hard to watch you just outright dismiss any and all possibilities of hope just like that :(

what the fuck Gran

so you really are the one in this scene who’s trying to lift everyone’s spirits now. well all right then, just what are you alluding to

OH SNAP

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD NOUMU BACKSTORY AT LAST! jesus christ, do Nao and Gran just know everything already, and they’ve just been keeping it all to themselves for the hell of it?? how long before they casually swing by U.A. and are all “oh and by the way, the traitor is...”

ANOTHER AIZAWA FACE BUT THIS ONE IS SOFT OH GOD!!

HEY WHAT’S UP I’M GONNA CRY. SOMEONE TURN ON SOME SAD MUSIC. AND I WON’T GO, AND I WON’T SLEEP, AND I CAN’T BREATHE, UNTIL YOU’RE RESTING HERE WITH ME

AND I WON’T LEAVE, I CAN’T HIDE, I CANNOT BEEEEEEEE

hey Nao. you know what really would have helped with getting him to talk. NOT KNOCKING HIM UNCONSCIOUS. ??? move over do you need someone else to do your job for you or

-- OH THEY’RE TALKING TO HIM NOW LMAO OKAY

“go ahead and do your thing guys. don’t be afraid to make it real gay”

this would be even more dramatic if Kurogiri actually had a face. but even so... OH I AM WHAT I AM. I’LL DO WHAT I WANT. BUT IIIIIIII CAN’T HIIIIDE

oh my fucking god Aizawa is all “but what about his family?” and Naomasa is literally “if you two are unsuccessful, then...” like straight up acknowledging that the three of them were so fucking gay in high school that their odds of getting through to Kumogiri are stronger than that of his OWN FUCKING FAMILY. wow

chin up my sexy man. you got this

OH SHIT AHHHHHHH

LDSKFHL EASY THERE CHAMP, THAT’S TOO MUCH SEX TO BE CONTAINED IN A SINGLE PANEL, PLEASE TRY AND DO ME A FAVOR AND FUCKING HOLD IT TOGETHER HERE FOR THE KIDS WHO ARE READING THIS!! [frantically googles ‘can a shounen manga get you pregnant’]

so Aizawa is all “I’ll be damned if I let his family hear this sickening story” and like, I’m sure he means that in a “they don’t deserve that pain” kind of noble and principled way, but if it were my child I sure would want to know regardless. and aren’t they going to find out either way?? either you do get through to him, in which case obviously you would want the family to know “HEY, GOOD NEWS!”, or you don’t manage it and Nao has to call them anyway as we just established. but you go ahead and get all fired up then, Shouta

now there’s a panel of him staring at Kumo and Kumo is just a big shapeless blob of black smoke just sitting there lol. don’t tell me he’s still unconscious?!

oh

thank you

anyway so Aizawa, did you know that while you were off being an underground hero, Kumo was studying at Oxford to get his medical degree while bartending on nights and weekends to make ends meet. the two of you have so much to catch up about

Mic’s thinking that even with Aizawa using his quirk, the fog isn’t dissipating, so it means Kumo’s body is now made up of fog. well but then what about the metal neck thingy! huh??

and Mic’s opening his big mouth to complain that Kurogiri is far too polite and classically educated to really be their old pal, but before he can finish, Kumo is interrupting to ask about his son!!

he’s. uh. I guess you could call it “well”? maybe a little too well [marge simpson noises]

well Mic is clearly back to being the comic relief here. but Aizawa is keenly spotting those mom instincts that have remained in Kumo to this day!

yes Aizawa the core of your friend is still in there deep down!

OH MY GOD

LMAOOOO. “EMO PUNK... WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE -- !!” [AUDIBLY GASPS AND LOOKS DIRECTLY AT AIZAWA]

oh my lord. like, I don’t think this is actually meant to be funny, but just the fact that he immediately associates “emo” with AIZAWA FUCKING SHOUTA so strongly that it makes him go (•̪ o •̪) all knowingly has me fucking deceased right now good grief

so Kumo says he doesn’t resent his mission at all. some people like looking after emo punks, Mic. you should know

AND NOW MY FEELINGS ARE BEING TOYED WITH AGAIN!! JUST STRAIGHT UP OUT IN THE OPEN!! THIS ISN’T FAIR

heh. don’t mind me I’m just looking for some sort of emotional support to cling to here for my breakdown that’s about to happen about 0.2 seconds after Aizawa starts crying, if he indeed starts to cry. which it looks like he might. oh god I’m not ready for this at all. my hatches are not even remotely battened; my shutters are just gonna go flying right the fuck off

by the way what the fuck is up with the chairs at Tartarus. why do they look like swiss cheese

hmm, Nao and Torino are all “no reaction”, but to me it looks like there clearly is a reaction, though? he can’t even look Aizawa in the eye all of a sudden. it’s clearly getting to him. Nao seriously, do you need someone else to do your job

oh Aizawa

(ETA: Kumo really first-named Aizawa two seconds after meeting him. this man knows how to adopt his introverts.)

okay but Present Mic in a summer uniform is the most punchable version yet, SORRY I JUST HAD TO SAY IT I’M SORRY MIC I LOVE YOU. it was just gonna come bursting up out of me if I didn’t

anyway so Aizawa is gaying it up just as promised

him using his quirk is definitely making the scene more intense, but I’m not really sure why he actually is using it, since we’ve established it’s not having any effect. unless he’s trying to possibly undo some of the brainwashing somehow??

(ETA: so it occurred to me that just because his quirk isn’t dissolving Kumo’s mist body doesn’t mean that it’s not having an effect on his warp abilities. this way they can interrogate him without fear of him trying to use it and them having to knock him out again.)

so Kumo’s continuing to try and play it off all smooth while Aizawa unleashes the full force of fifteen years of pent up grief and trauma!

starting to think Aizawa never did go to therapy after that whole thing. typical U.A. “so you saw your best friend die suddenly and violently right before your eyes and subsequently suppressed it and hallucinated his voice talking to you to avoid facing that reality, huh? eh, you’ll be fine”

oh no a close-up of Aizawa that doesn’t show his face completely. this kind of thing never ends well

BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT THEM TO END UP LIKE YOU [sobs forever]

wait are we really going to talk about this?? omg

wait what. so do you mean to tell me he expelled them but then continued to guide them afterwards so they would have long, happy and healthy careers but more importantly would be safe omfg I’m not fucking ready for this shit

we’re cutting to U.A.’s class 2-A! Aizawa’s former class? does that mean he literally expelled EVERY SINGLE ONE of his students last year omg

so then. does every single standout characteristic of the Aizawa we know and love stem from his tragic past and his relationship with this boy then, or what? meanwhile the feelings continue to torrentially lash against my house while I huddle in the basement

I can’t fucking believe we’re actually getting a legit reveal about the “Aizawa expels all his students” gag holy shit

re-enroll!? what?? and “expel” in quotation marks?!?

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS -- HE DID IT JUST TO SCARE THEM!? AND THEN WHAT, WERE THEY PICKED UP AFTERWARD BY THE OTHER HERO CLASSES INSTEAD? SO HE TEACHES THEM A POTENTIALLY LIFE-SAVING LESSON AND THEN GETS TO LAZE AROUND THE REST OF THE YEAR, LOL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. THIS MAN IS A GENIUS

(ETA: and by this logic, Deku really ought to have been expelled half a dozen times by now. don’t ever try and tell me that this man doesn’t play favorites.)

so Aizawa is taking his goggles off and saying that he’s strict with his students because he wants them to live long, fulfilling lives

OH NO

SOMEHOW HORIKOSHI MADE KURO’S FACE LOOK SOFT?! I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW, IS THERE ANYTHING HE CAN’T DO

AHHHHH

OH NO HE DID IT AHHHH THE TEARS, FUCK. WELL MY HOUSE IS FUCKING DESTROYED, I’M CLIMBING UP TO THE ROOF TO AWAIT RESCUE

wow. anyways that really did get gay as fuck at the end, didn’t it. given the meaning that those goggles have to Aizawa, can this be taken as a form of marriage proposal? no? well I’m taking it that way anyway, so. congratulations you two. I’m off to go sob into a pillow now

[piracytheorist]

Keep Doing That (1/1)

Summary: The only thing hotter than watching one Killian is watching two Killians getting it on. And then getting some yourself. Pr0n Without Plot.

Notes: So you’re in bed, about to fall asleep, but an idea hits you. You share it in the group chat, then immediately put the phone down and go to sleep. And you wake up the next morning with @hollyethecurious and @shardminds shouting at you for leaving them like this. Ya gotta write the thing, even if you’ve never written something like this before, right?

Okay so this is Captain Swan x Wish Hook threesome smut and it’s the first time I’m writing this kind of thing, shamelessly so though. No warnings apply here though if you’re curious about the details you can check the tags on AO3.

Also a clarification, I'm borrowing an idea from other authors where “Killian” refers to OG Hook while “Jones” refers to Wish Hook.

RATED E FOR EXPLICIT Y’ALL.

Word count: 2k AO3

~

Killian had never imagined what good company his own self could be. Having spent so long hating parts of himself, it was certainly a pleasant surprise to be happy to spend time with someone just like himself. Jones could understand him so well; though he had to admit there were times that they frustrated each other - probably because seeing their own behaviour exhibited by someone else made them more aware of it.

But through the months after Jones moving in Storybrooke, Killian had never imagined it would lead to this.

It had started with Emma going for an errand at the station; Jones had popped in for a casual visit; they’d talked and talked, after all, small talk was always easy and comfortable between the two; they had been sitting next to each other at the couch; and before they even knew it, they were too close to each other, it only took a soft nudge of his head to bring his lips against Jones’.

Killian felt a bit of stiffness against the man’s lips, but damn, were they soft still. But Jones didn’t pull away, instead, Killian felt those lips relax and yield against his. He sighed into Jones’ mouth. Was he always such a good kisser?

Killian brought his hand up, softly resting it on the crook of Jones’ neck, softly touching his scruff with the tip of his index finger. Jones let out a tiny moan, and then his hand rested on Killian’s waist. Killian wrapped his hook around the other man’s wrist and leaned forward, leading him to put his head back on the armrest as Killian followed him with his lips. Jones turned his head, allowing them a deeper kiss, and Killian felt the hot blush on his face when a tongue reached inside his mouth.

He started moving his hand downwards, slowly dragging it over Jones’ chest, intending on reaching his zip, until he heard the familiar sound of a magical teleportation whoosh.

Opening his eyes wide, he turned his head, feeling the now stiff again lips brush against his scruff as both men turned to look at a shocked Emma.

She just stood there, staring with eyes wide open as well, jaw slack and eyebrows nearly touching her hairline.

Killian felt one normal and one mechanical hand softly push at his chest, and he barely managed to give Jones the necessary space to move away from under him. Jones stood up clumsily, hand fidgeting like crazy on his side before he dropped his head and headed for the door. Just as he put his hand on the door handle, Emma spoke.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

She was still looking at Killian, her eyes now slightly narrowing, eyebrows dropping to their usual place. Killian saw Jones swallow hard, take a deep breath to steel himself, then walk back to stand in front of Emma.

Killian sat down on the couch awkwardly, feeling his heart nearly beat its way out of his chest in anticipation for Emma’s ire. He doubted Jones felt any different.

Emma finally turned towards Jones. She gave him a smirk Killian had never before seen on her face.

“Keep doing that,” she said.

Now it was the men’s time to raise their eyebrows to their hairlines.

“Wh-what?” Jones stuttered.

“Do you want me to spell it out for you?” Emma said and nodded towards Killian.

After missing one single beat, his heart started beating even faster. He was looking at Emma, but when he saw Jones walk back towards him, his eyes turned to him, in near-disbelief of what was happening and what he was actually doing.

Jones looked scared but still he sat down next to Killian and leaned his head towards him. Killian chanced a look at Emma, who threw her head slightly back and looked at them, that same new smirk still on her face. He then turned to Jones and captured his lips again. His heart was still beating crazily fast, and he could feel both his and Jones’ erratic breaths land on each other’s faces.

He felt Jones’ trembling hand rest on his waist, then Killian tried deepening the kiss again. He felt Jones moan against his lips, then a soft moan from Emma had them both turning their heads towards her.

She was still looking at them, though now her smirk had softened a bit.

“Swan?” Killian said. “Are you-”

“Hopscotch,” she breathed their code word, letting him know it was really her. “Keep going.”

This time it was Jones that pushed Killian backwards, now with a ferocity that took him by surprise. He closed his eyes and focused on the kiss, the tongue finding its way in his mouth... and the hand trailing down his torso. Jones didn’t bother with zips. His hand reached immediately under the waistband and wrapped around Killian’s length.

With a moan, Killian threw his head back. Bloody hell. Opening his eyes, he spotted Emma having her own hand inside her pants.

“Swan,” he breathed. “What are you... doing?”

“Enjoying the sight,” she said in a deep voice that, along with Jones’ hand, had him spring fully hard.

Without thinking, he tried to extend his hand towards her, but Jones was in the way. “Let... me...”

“Shh.”

She took a few steps back and positioned herself on the armchair there. She spread her legs and breathed hard as she pleasured herself on the sight.

Killian sighed and allowed Jones to keep kissing him. By now Jones had undone Killian’s zip and had his erection firmly in his grasp. Killian shivered slightly, realizing he stood no chance against the familiar, knowing hand. With Emma’s deep breaths and moans beside them, he reached orgasm within seconds, pulling away from Jones’ lips and grunting hard, the sound slightly echoing in the room.

He opened his eyes and saw that Jones had his closed, resting his forehead on his, obviously unbothered by the substance now staining his clothes. Killian looked at Emma, who was still focused on her task, eyes now closed.

“Think it’s... your turn now... eh, mate?” Killian managed.

Jones sighed and started preparing himself to lie down, but Killian stopped him.

“Wait.” He stood up from the couch and knelt down in front of Emma. Bringing his hand and hook to drag her jeans down, he whispered, “Let me, love.”

Emma pulled her hand away, resting both arms on the armrests as Killian took her boots, jeans and underwear off. She looked at him, eyes narrowed, lips parted and wet. He then turned to look at Jones, who was slightly panting. Killian beckoned him forward as he lowered his own pants and positioned himself. Emma flicked her wrist and suddenly all three of them were naked.

“Are you sure?” Jones whispered.

Killian simply nodded. He wasn’t sure he could trust his voice right now. He turned to look at Emma, felt his belly nearly explode with want, then he leaned in and buried his face in her wet, ready sex.

He felt himself harden again at Emma’s broken gasp. He felt her hand softly rest on his head and brush through his hair. A cool shiver run down his spine when he felt Jones also position himself behind him, hand and glove softly grabbing his hips.

“Here,” Emma said and Killian heard another magical whoosh.

He looked up, as much as he could without his tongue losing contact, and saw Emma hand a bottle of lube over to Jones.

Killian opted to close his eyes and bring his hand to assist in his ministrations. He needed to focus on Emma for as long as he could before-

He realized he was doomed the moment he heard the squirt of the bottle and Jones breathing hard behind him. Killian positioned himself firmly, still trying to focus on pleasing Emma even as Jones’ wet fingers entered him, preparing him.

He was breathing hard against Emma’s sex, and judging from her moans rising in volume and her hand grasping his hair more firmly, it was having the desired effect. Luckily, Jones, like himself, was not a man to wait and stall. He entered him with a steady thrust and Killian grunted hard and deep against Emma. With a broken moan, he relaxed, tongue slipping out of her as he struggled to move his hips along with Jones’ thrusts.

He moaned again, feeling his body shake with need. His hand trembled, and it was only when Emma grabbed it that he realized he’d left her unsatisfied. Gathering his wits, forcing his mind to land back to earth, he buried his face in her again.

Slowly, he felt Jones’ body lean against him, left arm wrapping him in an embrace and in a way helping him stay grounded as Jones’ thrusts kept threatening to send his mind flying again. He felt like screaming when a wet, warm hand wrapped around his member again. There was only so long he could contain himself.

Luckily, Emma seemed to take pity on him. “Leave it, Jones,” she gasped. Jones let go.

He wasn’t sure if he felt gratitude or a want for retribution when his hand left hers and brought it back to toy with her clit. With every thrust from behind he moaned against her, and every moan seemed to bring her closer to climax.

Suddenly, she stiffened around his lips, grabbed his hair and softly pulled him back. Without a word, she stood up and waved her hand at the armchair. It disappeared in a puff of smoke, and Emma immediately lay down, opening her legs for him. Shaking with need and making sure Jones was following him, he leaned forward and entered her, barely biting down a grunt.

Emma wrapped her legs around his hips, letting him in deeper. Killian buried his face in her breasts, letting Jones control his thrusts inside her for him with his own inside him. He grasped her hand in his and brought it over her head; she did the same with her other hand after she took his hook in it.

Now Emma was shaking against him, her nipples hard against his lips, and he knew they were both coming close. Jones too, if he judged by the moaning against his back.

Just as he’d guessed, he felt Jones finish inside him at the same time he and Emma finished together, a mess of gasps and moans and deep breaths the only sound heard for some long seconds. Killian could tell Jones was barely holding himself from collapsing against him, if only not to cause him to crush Emma under both their weight, and then he felt him start pulling off.

“No,” he tried to say, and uncertain whether his voice had made his intention clear, he brought his hand to push Jones’ hip back against him. Jones sighed and relaxed against him, and Killian felt Jones’ erratic heartbeat and quick, hot breathing against his back slow down a bit as both his own member and the one inside him went soft together.

Emma sighed deeply, untangling her legs from around him and nudging him a bit to the side. Both men, still connected, lay down on their side as Emma turned as well, facing them. Killian put his arm around Emma, pulling her close as she buried her hand in his hair and Jones wrapped his arm around Killian’s waist, resting his head against his so his hot breath fell on Killian’s neck. Killian let out a shaky breath and watched as Emma's eyes fluttered close.

Realizing he could stay like this forever, he left a soft kiss on Emma’s lips before he too closed his eyes.

[luv4fandoms]

Christmas Angel (Spn Gabriel X Reader)

@freakygirlforeve7-blog-blog. Suggested

So sorry this took so long, my house got a bit busy working on Christmas gifts and for some reason this story took me a bit to actually come up with lol. But I hope you enjoy it! 😊

Warnings: Slight angst, fluff

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader

Words: 2,355

You wiped your eyes while you wandered around, the light snow falling softly, dusting your hair and shoulders as you called once more for your dog. How many years would this happen? How many more loved ones would you lose? You felt cursed, afraid that you were simply meant to be alone. The first year had been your grandmother, the next year, your beloved family cat (C/N), then your grandfather, then your oldest dog (D/N), then your aunt, and now your other dog (D/N), every year around Christmas you always lost someone close, and the weight of it crushed even the smallest spark of "Christmas spirit". 

The holiday was done for you, long since lost it's magic, and you dreaded it every year. Sighing, you sat down on a nearby park bench and tried to warm your hands. You had been looking for (D/N) for days, and still no trace of them, it was like they just vanished into thin air. While lost in thought, you hadn't noticed the stranger approach the bench, so it started you when a voice spoke up.

"Why so down sugarplum?" 

Looking up you were met with the most beautiful whiskey eyes.

"Oh...Um" you started, but couldn't find the words and couldn't break your gaze. He quirked an eyebrow, a small smirk gracing his lips while he watched you fumble for a sentence. Finally you seemed to find the willpower to stop staring and instead look at the ground.

"My dog is lost...So I'm out looking for them" You replied, fighting back the tears, you didn't need to break down in front of him. 

"Awe I'm so sorry sugar, how long have they been missing?" He asked, looking up at him again he looked genuinely concerned.

"A couple of days, I'm hoping...Since today had been the first day it snowed" you trailed off, not wanting to even voice your concerns, though, the way your life was...You knew that was the most likely of outcomes.

"Why don't I help you look for them?" He offered after a moment.

"Oh no it's ok really" 

"Nonsense buttercup" he dismissed you, before adding.

"Besides, with two people we're bound to find the pooch sooner right?" He smiled, you finally took a good look at the man; he looked like he was maybe in his early thirties, light golden brown hair, whiskey colored eyes, a gray t-shirt, leather jacket and blue jeans...honestly...He was hot. 

"I suppose you're right" you smiled back, standing from the bench.

"I'm (y/n)" you smiled

"My dog's name is (D/N)"

"Gabriel" he replied, coming to stand beside you.

"Let's start our search for the infamous (D/N)" he added with a wink and held out his arm for you. With a smile you took it and the two of you began your search. He asked you where you usually take your dog after the park, you replied with your old house, having grown up in that neighborhood, you still knew a lot of people there and visited often. While you both made your way towards the neighborhood, Gabriel made small talk, asking things like what kind of music did you like? Favorite foods? Simple things, you also found out he worked at a local college.

"So how come you moved?" He asked once you entered the neighborhood and began looking around for (D/N).

"My parents and I lived there with my grandma, it was my mom's childhood home, but after my grandmother passed, my mom said it was too painful living there...So we moved" You explained, remembering how your grandmother had been the first in this long line to pass.

"I'm sorry for your loss" he spoke while running his thumb over the hand that was still wrapped around his arm, surprisingly it helped hold back the tears.

"How long ago did she pass?"

"Six years" he nodded, both of you falling silent as you continued to walk, still searching for (D/N). You stopped a few moments later, looking up at the old house that held so many memories. You remembered growing up on that porch swing, taking the stairs inside two at a time much to your mother's worry. You remembered playing hopscotch on the driveway, coming home from school, learning to drive here...even having your first kiss on those very same front porch steps.

Gabriel dragged you from your swimming thoughts with a tap on the arm, looking over at him he pointed to the front gate which was open.

"I take it no one lives here soo...Worth a shot right?" He asked before pulling you into the yard to check around the house.

"I bet you always had a lot of fun around this time of the year" he stated from in front of you, still walking along the house.

"Why would you guess that?"You asked, honestly confused, he simply shrugged. Before answering.

"You just seem like the type who likes Christmas is all" he looked back at you with a smile, and in that moment you wondered if he was being honest, or teasing you about your sour disposition. But his words did bring back more memories, ones of you, your mother and grandmother all in the kitchen baking cookies and pies. It was something you all loved to do, and it became a tradition around Christmas time. You used to joke and say that you were going to grow up and become a baker...But lately you didn't have the drive to do much of anything...Feeling like it wouldn't even matter in the end. As you finished rounding the house, your shoulders slumped, still no sign of (D/N). Seeing your saddened expression, Gabriel rested his hand on your shoulder, causing you to once again get lost in his gaze.

"Hey, we still have plenty of daylight, let's keep looking" he smiled, you gave a small smile back before you both continued on your way, you explained that you would also walk (D/N) into town sometimes, so you both began walking towards town. Gabriel started up the simple conversations once more, it surprised you how easy it was to talk to him, like he was an old friend, it also surprised you how comfortable you were around him, a stranger you had only met  earlier that day. He was the jokester type, that was for sure, and he could easily put a smile on your face which he seemed to enjoy doing because every time your laughter would die down you would catch him staring at you, a small smile on his own lips.

"Come on! You have to have some big plans for the future. I know! An actress, no no, a model, ya know, why not both?" He teased after you had stated that you didn't know what to do in life. 

"I don't see either of those things in the cards for me" you gave a slight laugh, eyes looking forward at the lighted window displays inside each shop, the sun had set only a little bit ago, and now the town was lit by joyous Christmas scenes.

"Why not? You're beautiful enough" he replied, catching you off guard and your cheeks to reddened not just from the cold. Your eyes met his whiskey ones again, though this time the twinkling lights surrounding you both made them constantly shift between whiskey and honey, and you found yourself getting lost in them just as you had that morning. Gabriel was so far, as cliche as it sounded, what you had always looked for in a guy, sweet, caring, a sense of humor, and very easy on the eyes. There was this strange pull to him, and an odd sense of safety and...home...That you hadn't felt in a long time. But the nagging reminder of your unlucky life had you looking away, already knowing that the two of you wouldn't work, you were doomed to be alone if fate had anything to do with it. 

"Thank you, but...How my life is…Nothing good will ever come my way" 

"What do you mean (Y/N)?" He asked, the first time he used your actual name all day. You sighed, unsure if you should unload all this emotional baggage on him, but one look back at him brought back that sense of safety, like you could tell him anything and he would make it better. Looking down at the ground you started.

"You were wrong...When you said I looked like someone who liked Christmas...I did, at one point. But after everything..The first year I lost grandmother, the next year, the family cat (C/N), then my grandfather passed, then my oldest dog (D/N), then my aunt died, and now (D/N) is missing, every year around Christmas I always lose someone close. So that's why Christmas has lost its luster, and that's why I don't see anything good happening for me in the future...Fate doesn't like me very much." You sighed, never once looking up at him...You wouldn't be surprised if he left, he would probably fear for his own life, after all, you were like walking bad luck. So when he grabbed your hands, you quickly looked up, seeing that small smile on his face.

"Screw fate, you've had some horrible things happen, and for that I really am sorry, but if there is anything I have learned from living amongst people...in this town" he laughed.

"It's that people can change their lives at any moment, no matter what plans some divine cosmic being has in store for them" he stated, and even though he still had that smile, the conviction in his voice made him seem like he knew much more than he showed.

"What did you always want to be?" He asked, confusing you as you looked at him, tilting your head slightly.

"You said no to model and actress, though I still think you could absolutely do both" he stated with a wink.

"So what did little Y/N always want to do when she grew up?"

"I...wanted to be a baker" you answered, blushing slightly at the awed expression he gave you.

"You are even more perfect than I imagined" he whispered causing you to laugh.

"Then be a baker! Look!" He dragged you over to an empty shop.

"This could be yours, I can see it now Y/N's tasty treats" he motioned across the glass, earning another laugh from you.

"You seem like a strong and stubborn person, don't let some silly little thing like fate stop you sugarplum" he stated, returning to your side, you looked at him again, getting lost in his gaze for what felt like the millionth time that day, the smile never leaving your lips as you asked.

"Then what led us to meet?" You asked 

"I've been to that park almost everyday,I've never once seen you" you added.

"You'd have remembered me?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows and causing you to giggle again.

"Of course" you smirked.

"Well, maybe fate decided to be nice for once" he shrugged.

"Well...I'm glad" you smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I'm really glad I met you today Gabriel"

"I'm glad we met too sugar" he smiled, and again, the feeling of home swept over you, maybe fate was being nice for once, maybe your luck was finally turning around, maybe just maybe…

"Awww" a woman stated while she and her boyfriend passed by, looking over at them for a moment you looked back at Gabriel confused, he simply smiled and pointed up. Right above your heads, hanging from a tree branch was a small piece of mistletoe. Blushing you looked back at Gabriel who simply shrugged.

"Only if you want to sugarplum" smiling, you slowly leaned in, Gabriel meeting you halfway, and your heart feeling like it wasn't shattered for the first time in years. His hands rested on your hips while yours rested on his shoulders, the kiss deepening while only one thought crossed your mind...Maybe you didn't have to be alone.

Breaking the kiss you rested your forehead against his, smiling while you tried to catch your breath.

"Wow" you spoke after a moment, causing him to laugh.

"I'll take that as a complement, and right back at cha sugarplum" he smiled. Maybe he was right, maybe fate was a silly thing, but at that moment you were happy it led you to him. Just as you were about to state that though, you felt something brush against your leg, and upon looking down you couldn't stop the tears.

"D/N!" You cried out, dropping to your knees and hugging the dog, their smiling face making you smile as well.

"The mystery of the missing D/N has been solved! Good work agent Y/N" Gabriel joked, getting down to pet D/N as well. You looked over at him and felt your breath hitch, from here, the Christmas lights gave him an ethereal glow, almost...Angelic in a way. That thought had you giggling at how accurate it was. A Christmas angel.

"What's up sugarplum?" 

"Nothing...It's just...You're kind like mine and D/Y's guardian angel" you blushed and looked at D/N, but caught the smile Gabriel gave you from the corner of your eye.

"Anytime you need me" he whispered to you, placing a soft kiss on your cheek before standing up.

"Now how about I escort you two home safely huh? After all, as your angel I have my duties" he stated with a wink, holding out his hand for you.

"Just angel duties?" You asked as you stood up.

"Well...I've always been one to mix business and pleasure" he smirked, wrapping his arm around you while the two of you began to walk, D/N trotting happily beside you both. Looking over at him once more you couldn't help but smile...Yeah...Fate finally decided to be nice to you, and maybe this Christmas wouldn't be so bad.

I hope you all enjoyed it! Let me know what you think!

Also I was largely inspired by this quote.

[pigeontheoneandonly]

Serendipity

I saw a reply to a post over @ao3commentoftheday suggesting it’s impossible to write a slow burn in less than 10k words.  My dumbass brain took this as “challenge accepted”. Who knows if I hit the mark, but I’m pretty happy with the result!  This baby clocks in at 2487 words.  Tucked under a read more, because that’s still a lot for tumblr.

Fandom: Dragon Age

When we met, I couldn’t see any part of you beneath the mud you’d earned trying to kill me. I don’t know why I took you with us, except that you were an elf without anywhere to go, and in Ferelden an elf with no home was good as dead, and we just don’t do that to each other. Naturally none of the shems understood. I bound up your wounds alone, thinking it would’ve been easier if you’d just fucking died.

The first prick of sympathy came when we arrived at the Dalish camp.  You called me my dear warden, mocking the double-meaning of my title and your technical captivity.  You flirted shamelessly with me the whole way, undeterred by my gender or my cold silence, and put me in a bad mood because I couldn’t tell if it was genuine interest, or something you felt you had to do, offer yourself to me, to stay in my good graces.  With a man for sale it could go either way.  But I saw how your ears went red and your tongue fell silent, when our wilder cousins sniggered at your tattoos, your so-called “city vallaslin”.  It’s horrible to be an in-between, unwanted alike by the society that spawned you and the one you live with, to be lumped in with those who keep you in squalor and kill you at will.  Watching their whispers subdue you angered me more than all the flirting put together. And fuck, wasn’t that annoying.

I bought you a pair of gloves.  I don’t know why.  They didn’t deserve my money, you didn’t deserve my kindness, but you looked at their tooled leather like you were reading a secret map, and I had to know what you saw written there.  You didn’t say thank you.  But you told me your mother was Dalish.  I told you mine had died.  I told you how she died, even though that’s a thing I don’t tell anyone, because my mouth moved before my mind could scream stop.  

You made a joke.  I shoved you hard into the underbrush and stalked away before I killed you.  We never talked about it again.

In fact, we barely spoke at all, the whole long, rainy road to Orzammar.  We didn’t speak through the political battle, we didn’t speak cooped up for days in a king’s mansion, and we didn’t speak as the heavy stone gates of the deep roads clanged shut behind us.  

I had been a Warden for all of eight weeks.  Alistair warned me that Wardens Joined in a Blight always were more sensitive, and all my newfound awareness remained raw as a fresh-hewn board.  In the deep, I could hear them everywhere. Feel them, crawling through my skin like worms; smell them in the still and sour air.  I could fucking taste them when we stopped to rest and I had no distraction.  

The dwarves told me this was where Wardens went to die.  I hugged my knees in the weak torchlight of our camp, feeling myself lost in the dark with them pressing in all around me, until they tore me apart, and for the first time, I hoped the Blight would kill me.  Sleep was a fantasy.  It showed, more and more, the deeper we went.

I didn’t notice the first time you offered to carry my knapsack, so tired I gave it over without question, numb to anything but the need to keep walking.  The occasional darkspawn nest was a respite. Better to fight them than sense them waiting, a constant pressure of millions of eyes on the back of my neck.

I didn’t notice when you started staying up with me.  I figured you weren’t tired, either.  I still wasn’t speaking.  But you rambled, about your childhood, about your exploits with the Crows, reciting snippets of awful Antivan poetry and singing bawdy songs you couldn’t quite remember.  But it came as a shock when I woke up, the first I’d slept since we entered the roads, curled up against the cave wall, beside you.  You smiled, still awake.  Wished me good morning.

We fucked for the first time the first night we camped above ground again, drunk on dwarven ale and being out of that thrice-damned hole, that endless crushing darkness.  In the morning we agreed it didn’t mean anything. Just the mindless choice of two bodies almost sick with relief.

You flirted less, after that.  I talked more.  I told you about coming up to the sealed gates of the Denerim alienage, hearing the word purge from the indifferent shem guard, and how I still didn’t know if my father or Shianni or any one of  these people who’d been my entire world were alive.  The ridiculous story I made up for those two kids, because elves survive on hope.  My absolute disaster of a wedding, doomed long before the kidnapping; I was all my father had left, and the truth, that my  inclinations were not reproductively compatible, would have crushed him.  That if I closed my eyes, I could still feel a ghost of euphoria remembering my sword plunging into Vaughan’s gut, that I was only sorry I only got to do it once.

I don’t know why you listened.  Put together, the whole thing rang absurd, not very sane and certainly not much like a Warden.

I do know that when the sloth demon snared us in nightmares, and I saw you stretched on that rack, my vision went red.  When I came back to myself, your brother Crows were in pieces and you were gone. A little of whatever-the-fuck that was lingered when we woke; I took two running steps toward you, so damn happy to see you without joints popped and bruised.  You stumbled one step back, on instinct, a portrait of humiliation.  I faltered and the moment died.

You moved back to your own tent.  We’d taken to sleeping side-by-side.  The nights grew colder as the season waned, and the Blight spread, and the presence of another body in the night was an affordable comfort.  I stared at the large space you left behind, startled to miss you this much.

Things stayed like that as we marched back to Denerim for the Landsmeet.  Cordial, but distant.  Hurt without reason and annoyed over it, to the point that Leliana warned me that compelling a Landsmeet as an elf would be hard enough without a pissy attitude.  Maybe that was why it was so easy for Anora to betray us, because irritation makes me impatient and rude.  But you snuck and charmed your way through the most heavily fortified prison in Ferelden to get us out— to get me out.  And somehow I was still annoyed.  

I said you must be really hard up for protection.  You crowded me into the wall.  For a wild moment I thought you’d shank me, and then for an even more terrifying one, that you’d kiss me.  Instead, you told me to consider your blood debt paid, and shoved off down the street. Angry as I’d ever seen you.

And what was worse, you stayed angry, and I stayed on edge, and maybe that’s how we got jumped by a dozen Crows in a dead-end alley, one of your bad decisions come home to roost in earnest.  Their leader offered to wipe your slate, to take you back to Antiva, make up a story and let you go home.  Not like an order, but like a friend, offering you a way out.

You looked at me.  Months on the road, and I couldn’t read your face.  And what I remember isn’t thinking I was about to die, but that I was about to lose you to this smug shem jackass, of all people.  

Then you said no.  And the shit hit the wall.  

We lived, somehow.  Your old friend went down last, and hard, your Crow-hilted dagger quivering between his ribs as his heart pumped itself out.  You fell down beside him.  Uninjured beyond a few nasty scratches, curled into a ball on the cobbles like you were dying, too.  

I asked something that amounted to what the fuck.  And it all came pouring out.  You grew up together, you and him and some girl named Rinna, a little family inside the unending terror of Crow education.  If you couldn’t love the Crows, you could love them, and for a time the comfortable rewards of your harsh training were made sweeter by their sharing.  Until Rinna betrayed you to a mark.

He killed her while you watched, you told me, your head in my lap.  While she begged your help, you taunted her.  She died with her love for you on her lips.  You both went forward with the job, a loose end to clean up, and discovered there proof of Rinna’s honesty, her fidelity. You killed her together and now you’d killed him, too.

The silence stretched as the torrent of words finally stopped.  Feeling your face damp on my leg.  There was nothing to say, but that silence was a wounding kind, so I told you the stupid story about the bluebird in the vhenadahl. Recited rhymes we used to sing as kids, playing hopscotch and tag in the dirt.    On and on, until the sun slipped below the buildings, and you were able to sit up, and we left.

It never came up between us again.  In fact, very little had changed.  A mild thaw in an undercurrent neither of us wanted to address.  It seemed impossible we’d be able to swim it; diving in could only lead to drowning.

Returning to the alienage put it out of my mind.  My family spared by the purge, but still not safe.  Murder and disease and hints of darker things make good distractions. When we discovered elves were disappearing, you volunteered to scout, as you had so many times before.  I thought nothing of it.  Until I was sitting up alone at my childhood dinner table, more than a day past when you should have returned, too paralyzed to do more than stare at the door and plead with the Maker or the gods or whoever might be listening for you to walk through it.

Sometime after midnight, you finally did.  You caught sight of me, and tendered a look of exasperation.  My dear warden, you said again, chiding this time, and before you could continue I flung my arms around your neck, too tight for you to get anything else out.  And we stood still there, like that, because if I let go I’d slap you. I hated you.  You were the most important person in my world, and if you died it would change me, and I hated you for it.

We went into that warehouse together, and pulled people— my people— out of cages together.  We read the manifest of those already sold away.  You put your arms around me, when I stepped into an alley after it was done and screamed and screamed and screamed into my own hands, because even if we somehow got justice this time, there was no undoing it, and no way to stop it happening again.  Because this was the Black City we all had to live in.  You told me then that you’d been sold, too, into a different fate but one ugly in its own way.  And my hand slipped into yours where it wrapped around my chest, just for a moment, until someone called us back to the mess we’d made.

You watched as I took the bastard Loghain’s head, and if it didn’t feel like justice for my kin, it did feel good.  You stood beside me as I promised a collection of the most powerful people in Ferelden, shems all, that I could save their country, and hours later, when I was sick back at the manor where we stayed.

You weren’t there when Riordan told me I was going to die.  It’s hard to remember now how out-of-our-minds, slap-happy with relief Alistair and I were when he showed up, fucking finally a senior warden who knew what he was doing.  That went up like a matchstick when he explained a grey warden giving their life to contain the archdemon was the only way to end the Blight.  He said some other things after that, but I didn’t hear them over the sound of one solitary thought:  I cannot put Zev through that again.  I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…

And you weren’t there when Morrigan caught me as I shambled from that room, weak with shock and grief.  You weren’t there when she told me there was a way out.  You weren’t there to see my revulsion— not at what she suggested, but at myself, because I knew my answer immediately.  I could not do that to you, not even with the entire world in the balance. That whatever the consequences, whatever pain this brought on me or on the child to come, if it spared you another heartbreak, the price felt fair.

I stumbled to your room no more than half-dressed.  You smelled the sex on me immediately.  Your face twisting with hurt and rage, until I fell down at your feet, my head on your knees, and told you everything.  What waited for us in the heart of the Blight.  The blood magic Morrigan wrought.  That I’d done it for you, that I begged your forgiveness, that if you left now I’d never be the same and please, please, Maker, please stay.

Your hand lifted my chin.  Your expression like I’d never seen before, tender and fond and something else. Something electric.  Your voice a whisper.  “My dear warden…”

“I love you,” I said.  It was what I’d been trying to say through all the incoherent babble.  Maybe for a lot longer than just this night.

You bent and kissed me.  And in the softness of your mouth, every worry and doubt melted away.

We’d seen each other many times before.  But you never trailed your thumb slowly across my every scar, from the faded wounds of Ostagar to the scrape from just this morning.  I never traced over the swirls of your tattoos with my tongue. We never drifted back to each other every other moment for a lingering wet kiss, never burrowed a face into a neck or tangled our legs or clung so close together that we seemed more one person than two.  It never felt right, not like this.  

And as I looked into your face in the dying firelight, brushing my fingers over your cheek, I thought about you covered in mud and pain and waiting to die.  Maybe the world didn’t care about us, but in its making, if there was just enough serendipity to let me find you, maybe that was all the care I needed.