#I TOLD YOU THE SCENE SHE ASKED WOULD BE SOF

[lunaetis]

@crimsontroupe asked :

The sound of metal hitting against grass is heard as he misses his mark; there are no practice weapons, only the real deal. There are no practice weapons on the battlefield, just the certainty of death. After a moment, Equinox straightens his back and removes his sword from the ground - bringing with it dirt and bits of grass.

There is something she said to him, once. He has been thinking of it since then. Wordlessly, he gestures that this would be enough sparring for the day. Sits down without saying anything, brows furrowed. It has been haunting him, he acknowledges. Refuses to admit it out loud as he cleans his weapon. "... What did you mean by--"

Ah. He catches himself too late. And Eula is now looking at him. For some reason, his face feels slightly warm. How stupid. How-- simply --- argh. "See, you talked to me some time ago about what you do. Do you not feel... angry? That people will never see you for what you are?" He simply cannot ask her if she wanted to throw everything up in the air and leave. That kind of reckless attitude is what he would do (and what he did). Equinox sighs and scratches his head, messing up his hair more in the process. "I get it, but it's... not fair to you. Makes me almost angry in your behalf. But I can't just go yelling at people from a place I don't even belong to. That'd just cause you trouble.

But it's still not fair. You deserve more. And you deserve better."

unprompted. || always accepting

─「エウルア」─  if the OUTRIDER had seen them now, she probably would be scolding both of them for how serious they took their sparring and practice sessions. the SPINDRIFT KNIGHT and the dark warrior are always like this, despite it being practice fights, they made it as real as possible. in the lives they both lived, there are no redo, no retry, so they took it seriously. often, they'd make each other BLEED and caused others around them to think they were really after each other's neck. that was never the case, however, but it wouldn't stop them from going all-out when they faced one another. not to mention, they were keeping scores, and it had been a TIE for quite some time.

                spinning herself around, the knight captain had her dual-colored hues landed upon him after the signal had been understood. his words, however, drew her attention from cleaning her trusted blade and head tilted to the side with curiosity presented in those eyes. his following sentences came rather unexpected, however, and her gaze softened.

                " you see me for what i am, no ? " the tone she carried was soft, if her eyes that were looking at him didn't speak of her feelings already. but in all honesty, she knew what he meant. what he was trying to convey. which was why she quickly followed up with a small thoughtful hum, head tilting upwards to look at the sky, then glancing out into the horizon line, seeing the CITY OF MONDSTADT in her line of vision. " not exactly angry, i suppose. it does make me sad, and a little lonely, sometimes. " if it were anyone else posing the same question, she would never admit this. the LAWRENCE HEIR would never allowed any others to see her in such a state, or to confess to feeling the sharp pain inside her heart every time she cannot escape the shadow of her family name.

                you deserve more. and you deserve better.

                her HEART did that thing, how it was skipping its beat when he said that. she knew, after all, of the fury he harbored and how he was getting angry on her behalf. she saw every time he bared his fangs at strangers, and his hand that gripped upon his claymore as though ready to use it against someone who treated her poorly. every single time, it made her heart pound in more ways than one.

                a place I don't even belong to.

                " say, nox — " the words were swallowed down her throat, for a split second, and she showed a hint of hesitation to the things she was contemplating to say. lips thinned, and gloved digits toyed with the hilt of her claymore, feet scraping against the grassy ground slightly. a show of doubt, but only for a moment. " what do you think about the knights ? ordo favonius ? " he was someone who thinks, and acts, like a knight. at least that was what she felt, and she looked at him almost expectantly, almost hopefully. the KNIGHT CAPTAIN could feel her cheeks reddening slightly, fingers thrust behind her light locks, and tucked a few strands to her ear.

                another second passed, and the silence was broken on her part.

                " what would you say ... about becoming a knight of favonius ? "

                if i asked, would you join the knights, for me ? i want to be with you.

[ghostofwriting]

Kildare Split Part Three: Bleach

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Chapter 3: Bleach

Note: Hi! I love you all so much, thank you for reading and being absolutely wonderful. Here is Chapter Three, it covers the smau basically up until Rafe blocks Topper. Still no answers on that 💋

Warnings: none, not edited, angst, swearing, sadness, julio.

Word Count: 5,343

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favourite band.

Chapter Three: Bleach

That didn’t go how he planned it. He hurt her inconceivable amounts and it’s not going to be easy to get her to forgive him. He needs to work for it, he knows that. Hearing her say that she meant nothing to him when she meant the world to him hurts more than he could have ever imagined. He’s so mad at himself for ever saying those same things to her. He doesn’t deserve her. He knows that too. He’s always been selfish when it comes to her though, he needs her back. He needs to figure out how to talk to her first. 

“Let me get this straight, you told her to listen to your album for what?”

“To understand what I’m feeling.”

“Rafe, the girl doesn’t need to understand what you’re feeling, she needs you to apologize to her.” His dad’s voice comes through the speaker. He was getting ready for bed when Ward called.

“The album is like an apology.” He tells his dad like it’s obvious. 

“Unless you have a song in that thing that says ‘Y/N I’m sorry,’ for 3 minutes straight, she’s not going to hear it as an apology. She’s going to take it as an excuse.”

“I’m just so ashamed, I don’t know how to approach it.” he stares at the phone screen, a picture of his dad and Wheezie stares back at him.

“I miss you, dad.”

“I miss you too, son. You’ll be home soon and we’ll go golfing, how about that?” Rafe smiles softly. 

His relationship with his dad hasn't always been this good. When he chose music over a ‘real’ career, his dad almost disowned him. Y/N had been the one to talk Ward out of it. Giving him a plan that if they didn’t make it in two years, she would drag him back by his ear and make him take over the company. They had to work their asses off but it happened, and Ward had accepted it. It had been a long road, they spent a lot of time not speaking to each other, communicating through Sarah. Ward hadn’t been to a single show before their first album was released. He remembers seeing Ward walk in next to Sarah and feeling his five-year-old self again, prepared to put on the best show for his dad to finally be proud of him. And he was, at the end of the night he hugged Rafe and told him everything he had ever wanted to hear from him. That he was proud of everything he had accomplished, that he was meant to perform, and that he loved him. 

And he owed it all to her. It always goes back to her. 

“That sounds great, Dad.”

“Have you talked to Sofia about this, you know girls, she might have some insight you don’t.”

“I don’t think Sofia’s up to giving me advice about Y/N.

“Rafe, this is only to get her back as your friend, correct? You and Sof are good?” Ward asks, concern lacing his voice.

“Yeah, of course. Sof and I are great.” Denial. Always in denial, Rafe Cameron.

“Okay well, I wish you luck with all of that. Get some rest. I’ll be out in a couple of weeks.”

“Bye Dad, love you,” Ward tells him he loves him too and hangs up. 

+++

Kiara of all people tells her to listen to his album. As if everyone else who’s telling her isn’t enough.

“Hold on, I thought I got you in the divorce?” Kie laughs at her joke. 

“You did, but I think you should listen to what he has to say.”

“Kie, he hasn’t even apologized in person, why should I?” She’s playing with the thread that’s hanging off of the comforter. 

“Because he’s always been better at explaining himself in song.” She says matter of factly.

“This is unbelievable.” Kie groans on the other side of the phone.

“Look, he’s a piece of shit and he was horrible to you. I know that, but god can he write.”

“I know he can. I work with him.” 

“Y/N.”

“Kie.” She mocks 

“Just listen.” She’s shaking her head and rolling her eyes, glad that Kie can’t see her. 

“Okay, whatever, I don't want to talk about this anymore. What happened between you and jayj?”

“Ha! Nope.” She whines, wanting to know the drama between her two friends.

Sarah walks in with Penny in her arms. They had gone for a walk, Y/N citing vocal rest to skip going out in the rain.

“Vocal rest but you’re talking on the phone?” Sarah calls her out.

“My baby!” Sarah drops the small dog on the hotel bed, Penny running into Y/N’s arms.

“Thanks, Sarah.” She pouts at her. 

“So what are we talking about?”

“Trying to get Y/N to listen to ‘Angel.’” Kie’s voice cuts through the speaker.

“Absolutely no use. She won’t.” Sarah says. She nods along agreeing with Sarah. 

It’s not that she can’t listen to the album. She doesn’t want to. Why should she care about whatever he said in the album when he can’t tell her directly? The last time they talked he didn’t say sorry, albeit she didn’t let him say sorry with her whole speech she had been internalizing for three years. Even still, if he had just opened with ‘sorry’ she might have been more inclined to listen to his stupid album. She already knew it was about her, what more could she possibly learn?

So why can’t she get the thought of listening to it out of her head? She’s alone now, her dog next to her, sleeping tucked between her pillow and her neck. Sarah went back to her room a few hours ago and Y/N’s been trying to go to sleep to no avail. 

So she plays the stupid album that she told Rafe to shove up his ass. 

By the end of the album, she’s angry again. It’s great. Of course, it is. It’s him and he’s amazingly talented. Everything he touches turns to gold and she despises him for it. The chord progressions the tempos, the synths. Everything is amazing. Even the stupid lyrics that she wishes she could hate. How dare he be so talented and make her hate him just a fraction less?

The lyrics bother her. ‘I bought a house to live in but you’re the home I’m missin'?’ His fault. ‘I watched the weeks fly by, I’m not myself when you’re not there.’ His fault. Again. ‘I’m not a sentimental guy, I need you in my life.’ Well Rafe Cameron, why do you think she’s not in your life? It’s like he’s trying to hide the fact that he completely obliterated her heart and is pretending that she just walked out on him.

Fuck you, Rafe. You don’t get to pretend.

+++

She hears Topper in the lobby of the hotel. He’s most likely the first one down here, waiting for the rest of them to wake up so they can take the car to the arena. 

She stands off to the side, their manager Ash, handing out their backstage badges. She sees Topper take two from Ash out of the corner of her eye. 

He extends the badge out to her for her to take and offers her a smile. 

“Thanks.” She tells him. 

“I know this is probably a long time coming and not the best place to have this conversation but I’m sorry.” She looks at him eyes wide, she tries to hide her shock, a small frown still visible on her face.

“Thanks.” She says again, not knowing how to respond to him. 

“I know I’ve been a shitty friend. I didn’t know how to act when everything went down. I knew about Sofia and I felt like I betrayed you. You were so hurt and I didn’t deserve your friendship. I let you isolate yourself and I’m sorry. I should have done better.”

She feels her eyes welling up. She won’t let herself cry. Not where anyone could see them.

“Yeah, you have been shitty.”

“Is it too late for you to forgive me?” She shakes her head, launching herself into his arms. Strangely it feels like coming home. She is finally hugging her best friend again. The guy who used to want to fight anyone who even looked at her wrong. 

“I missed you.” she breathes into his shoulder. 

“I missed you too, I’m sorry.” She lets go of him sniffling. She sees unshed tears in his eyes too. 

“It’s going to take some time for me to trust you, but I’ll work on it.”

“I will get on my knees, beg, and cry if you need me to.” She laughs

“I’ll let you know.”

As soon as the other two arrive, their badges are given to them and they all walk towards the car. She usually opts for sitting in the front ever since everything happened between them. She thinks that this time she can sit next to Topper. 

“Hey, Ash?” She calls for her manager's attention, “Mind if you sit in the front this time?” Ash looks at her surprised but nods her head anyway. 

“Of course, go.” She motions for Y/N to step into the car, Rafe and Barry look at her questioningly from the very back. She smiles at Topper and sits directly next to him, he offers her one of his airpods and she takes it. He’s listening to something she’s never heard and she doesn’t mind at all. For the first time in a long time, she doesn’t feel like the loneliest person in the car. 

Rafe burns holes into the backs of both their heads. What the fuck is going on?

+++

“So are you going down there for your anniversary?” He hears Sarah ask. She and Y/N are getting their lunch. 

“Ya, it works out perfectly with the tour ending just in time,” Y/N responds, 

“So are you expecting a ring?” His ears perk up at the question, willing everyone around him to shut up so he can hear her answer clearly. 

“I wouldn’t be opposed.” Y/N has a teasing tone to her voice and he feels like throwing up. He gets up from the table where he’s eating with Barry and Topper. His fork clanged against the plate as he stood up and stormed off. He can’t eat with the bile already rising in his throat. What’s wrong with him?

+++

He notices as Topper and Y/N fool around during their private soundcheck. They’re playing off each other, Y/N messing with his guitar as he sings into her microphone. He notices that it’s a little awkward but it’s better than it has been in years. He gives Barry another questioning look and Barry just shrugs. He makes a note to ask Topper what happened. 

“I can’t hear myself in my left ear, I just hear Barry’s excessive screeching,” Y/N speaks into her microphone at one of the sound techs. 

“Oh, I’m sorry we can’t all be professionally trained singers, princess.” Y/N scoffs. 

“You’re in a band Barry, maybe learn how to sing.”

“Why are you being such a bitch right now?”

“Hey!” Topper yells turning towards Barry, “cut that shit out.” Barry makes a face at Topper but drops it. 

“What the fuck is going on with you two?” Rafe asks, done with waiting to ask Topper after soundcheck. 

“Just have her back, man.”

“Since when?” He raises an eyebrow. 

“Since he apologized, maybe you should learn how to do that.” She purses her lips and instead of being annoyed, he can’t stop thinking about how cute she looks.

“I tried to apologize and all you did was yell at me for 10 minutes.”

“You didn’t try to apologize, Rafe! You tried to get me to listen to your album.”

“If you would have just heard me out.”

“What? I would know that you’re so apathetic it’s pathetic but you need me now? Or how about that you’re down on your hands and knees Beggin' me please, baby.”

“You listened.” He feels a sense of relief overtake him which is quickly washed away by her tone.

“Under duress.”

“What did you think?”

“I think it’s bold to sing songs about me when your girlfriend is ready to marry you.” He wants to deny that any of the songs are about her. It doesn’t work like that. Everyone knows. Instead of denying it or calling her conceited for thinking it’s about her, another question rises up and out of his mouth before he can stop it.

“Are you?”

“What?” She asks, confused. He wants to keep his mouth shut. Why does he need to know anything, why does he want to hurt his feelings so badly?

“Ready to marry him?” Oh, he’s so stupid.

“Yeah.” There is no hesitation in her answer and his heart breaks a little.

“Great.” He says shortly.

“Great.” She turns away from him and back to her microphone, talking to the tech until he gets the volume in her left ear right. He storms off the stage shoving his guitar into Topper’s chest, narrowly missing Topper’s guitar. 

+++

“What’s your problem?” They’re waiting to be called to the stage for their second soundcheck with the fans. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You have been insufferable all day, more than usual. I can usually ignore you, I’ve been doing it for a really long time but you’re all pouting and grumbling. What’s wrong with you?”

“How could you forgive Topper and not me?”

“I haven’t forgiven Topper, but he apologized for everything, it’s more than you have ever done.”

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out.

“Rafe. Stop.” She goes to walk away but he grabs her arm, stopping her. 

“What? You beg me to apologize and now you don’t want to hear it?”

“I didn’t want to beg you for it, I wanted you to apologize because it’s the right thing to do.”

“I know that I haven’t been a good friend to you. I’ve been so absent from our friendship. I let people get in the way of us and I self-sabotaged and pushed you away.”

“Rafe please.”

“I think that I pushed you away because I couldn’t be with you but I couldn’t be your friend.”

She holds her breath, waiting for what he says next. 

“I couldn’t be just your friend because I was in love with you.”

“And I’m stupid okay? I’m the biggest idiot in the entire world for saying the things that I said to you.” He pauses to gauge her reaction. She’s looking directly at him, her gaze not faltering.

“You were never just someone I fucked. You weren’t some girl or someone who didn’t mean anything to me. You are the girl, you mean everything to me. You always have. And I am sorry. I am so sorry that I ever said those things.”

“Why did you?”

“I was terrified. It’s an excuse I know. The way I treated you should have never happened but- I just- I was so scared to ruin our careers and take away what we had been working for since we were practically babies. The work that you put into the band and I was just being so careless with it, I could have ruined everything. I didn’t know how to deal with that and being in love with you and high all the time. I couldn’t do it.”

“You got clean right after.” 

“I knew that sabotaging us was the first step to me ruining everything else and I needed to make the sacrifice worth it so I got clean.”

“I’m a sacrifice. You sacrificed our friendship to keep the band but if you had just talked to me we could have decided together. We could have made something work.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” They hear the five-minute to curtain call announcement and Y/N sighs.

“Do you think you could ever forgive me?” He asks her, hopeful.

“I don’t know. You hurt me more than anyone ever has.” She shrugs.

“fuck, b- Y/N I’m so sorry. You have to believe me.” She nods.

“I think I do. I need time. I need to get used to the idea of letting you back into my life before I do.”

“Okay, yeah. What can I do?” He feels hopeful for the first time since he started trying to get her to talk to him. 

“Just give me space for now. I’ll let you know.” She walks past him towards Topper. That’s a good start, he thinks. 

+++

“Baby!” She yells as she gets off stage, running into Julio’s arms. His flight had been delayed so she didn’t get to see him before the show. 

His arms wrap around her waist as he lifts her off the ground, spinning her around. 

“When did you get here?” She asks him, kissing his lips before he answers. 

“Just as you started the second song.” He pulls away to answer but buries his head in her neck, kissing her. 

“Thank you for coming. I missed you so much.” She tells him, still not letting go. 

“Always.” He pecks her lips again as the rest of the band comes up behind her. 

“Hey, guys.” Julio greets them the best he can with a Y/N-sized necklace still hanging off him. 

“Hey, man!” Topper taps him on the shoulder as he passes by him. Barry mumbles a ‘hey’ and Rafe just nods, his jaw tight. 

+++

Julio had only been here for one night and already he knew everything that Rafe had told Y/N, Which is how he found himself sitting alone with the man in the green room.

“Y/N told me what you told her last night.” He really doesn’t want to have to explain to Y/N why her boyfriend is on the floor bleeding but if he throws the first punch, Rafe is only defending himself. 

“Yeah?” He looks up from his phone and at Julio.

“Look, you hurt her. A lot. To the point where she thought she had no one because of you. She cried herself to sleep every day because of how alone she felt.” Rafe’s stomach churns at his words.

“I’m going to make it up to her.” He puts his phone down next to him. 

“And you better mean it. Don’t lead her on. Be honest with her. Do not hurt her again.” 

“I won’t.” He assures him.

“Good.” He thinks the conversation is over but Julio speaks up again.

“Rafe, I know how you feel about her. You need to back off. I love her. And she loves me. I will be here until she no longer wants me. Please don’t get in the way of that.”

“I’m engaged.”

“That doesn’t change the way you look at her. Your heart isn’t in it. Respect my relationship and I will respect you.” 

“You don’t have anything to worry about. I just want my friend back.” It’s not like she would take him back anyway. Even if he wanted to.

“Okay.” Cleo and Pope walk in to save him from the awkward silence. 

“I’m going to head out.” He picks up his phone and stands up from where he was sitting on the couch.

“Nice talking to you,” Julio calls.

“Yeah, you too.” He all but runs out of the room on a mission to find Sarah.

+++

Sarah Cameron is not one to spread rumours. She’s very much the type to wait for confirmation. She blames the circumstances and constant stress she’s under juggling her brother’s stupid feelings with Y/N’s and vice versa. 

There has been way too much talk about marriage, Sofia finally arrived and all she can talk about is wedding dresses and the caterer and the first dance and Sarah is exhausted. And of course, Rafe is panicking about things he really shouldn’t be worried about like ‘Oh is Y/N getting married? Sarah, she said that she was ready.’ and Y/N herself teased that she wanted the ring and she wouldn’t say no if Julio proposed. So what is Sarah supposed to think when she hears Y/N squeal from her dressing room as she screams “Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you.” Sarah is tired. 

She should have known there wasn’t an actual proposal when it happened in the dressing room of all places. She knows Julio, he’s a romantic guy, thinking back on it, there’s no way he would have proposed like that. Again, Sarah’s tired and she’s not thinking and she needs to tell someone and the first person she sees. Barry. Bad idea. 

“Julio just proposed to Y/N and she said yes.” The information spills out of her mouth, it takes Barry a moment to process what she said but once he gets it he’s laughing. 

“Shit. That’s going to kill him.” Fuck. Rafe. She hadn’t even thought of her brother’s reaction. She wants to be the one to tell him but he’s out with his trainer. She has to make sure no one tells him before she does. 

“Topper!” She runs down the hall towards him.

“What’s up, why are you like sweating?” She waves him off.

“When does Rafe get back?”

“An hour still.”

“Shit.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Y/N just got engaged and I need to be the one to break the news to him.” 

“Holy shit. Good for her. Where is she?” Sarah shakes her head at him. 

“That’s not the point, I need you to find out where Rafe is training so I can find him.”

“He’s probably running laps outside or at a nearby park.”

“Do you have his location?” 

“No, security list.”

“Oh my god! I hate that you’re all famous sometimes.” She says through gritted teeth. 

“I need to find John B. Make sure Rafe doesn’t find out!” She says running off down the hall again. 

“Find out what?” Sofia’s voice comes from behind him. 

“Jesus, Sofia, be louder next time.”

“Sorry. What’s going on?”

“Oh, nothing. Y/N just got engaged and Sarah doesn’t want anyone to know yet.’

“Fun! Congratulations to them, that’s so exciting!” He sees her pull out her phone and walk in the direction of the busses.

“See you, Top!”

“On the bus?” He asks her. 

“Yeah.” She gives him a toothy grin. 

Shit. Topper thinks. She’s going to tell Rafe. 

+++

Kyle had just made him run way too much. Keeping up his stamina was important to perform every night. This time though Kyle really wanted to kill him. 

“You hate me, man.” He says opening up his phone. Kyle laughs. 

“You did great.” He tells him as they start their walk back to the arena. 

He has a few notifications from Instagram from friends back home sending him reels and Wheezie tagging him in stories. He swipes out of Instagram and goes on to his Twitter quickly checking to see if the lineup for the show had started already, trying to see which way they took back to the arena without being seen. 

Something catches his eye as he scrolls past it, he scrolls back up trying to find the pink icon. 

‘@KSUpdates: 💍💍💍’ He reads through the other tweets wondering what that’s all about, were they promoting something he forgot about? He keeps scrolling until he sees someone say that Y/N’s engaged. He stops where he is, Kyle looking at him questioningly. 

“You okay?” His head is spinning, his heart is racing faster than when he was working out, and he feels like throwing up. No, he’s not okay. 

“I need to go.” He starts booking it to the arena, Kyle trailing behind him. 

He has three unanswered texts from Sarah, a call from Topper, and one from Kelce by the time he makes it back to the arena. He says bye to Kyle and rushes to the bathroom. He’s going to throw up, he feels lightheaded. 

He didn’t realize how not okay he was with losing her forever right until this moment. He couldn’t face it for the longest time. He loves Sofia. He does. She has been important to him, his growth, and his life, she’s been an amazing partner. But that’s all she’s been. A friend. Because he couldn’t give her his heart. Not when Y/N was out there already walking around with it. She had never given it back. She owned it, owned him. He knew that now. With every fibre in his being, he knew that he was still in love with her. And she was marrying someone else. He was losing her. 

His breathing feels laboured. He feels the room continue spinning, he slides down the bathroom wall trying to keep the panic attack at bay. How could he be so stupid? How could it take him so long to realize that he couldn’t live without her no matter how hard he tried? It would always be her. 

He hears his phone ringing again but ignores it. He needs to get his breathing under control before he can talk to anyone. They can’t know he’s losing it. 

He needs to do something. He needs to get his shit under control and talk to Y/N. He hasn’t had a panic attack in so long. He’s not used to dealing with it. He needs to find Barry first. 

+++

She’s in one of her moods again, every time Julio leaves she gets sad and it takes her a day or two to get back into the swing of things. It’s been a week since she had asked Rafe for space. She thinks that she’ll be able to work towards forgiving him or at least putting the past behind her. After talking to Cleo, Sarah, and Julio, they had all given her the same advice. Do what she believes is the best next step for her. 

She notices Sarah hovering over Rafe like a mother hen, checking in on him, asking him if he’s okay every two seconds. She doesn’t know what happened but Topper had told her he went missing for the entire day until their show. And she’s pretty sure he showed up high. She’s scared for him. He’s been clean for so long that getting into drugs again now could shock his system. He’s not her responsibility anymore but she cares if he lives or dies. 

That same day that Rafe went missing, everyone was congratulating her for being engaged. The updates account had hinted at her being engaged too, she doesn’t know where they got that information, she not only had to tweet, she had to tell the entire team that no, she was not engaged. 

It had been a stupid misunderstanding that Sarah had apologized for a significant amount. Cleo had asked Julio how he would propose so Julio had set the scene for her and gotten down on one knee and Y/N had played along. Stupid and dumb. 

She’s reading a contract for a new magazine shoot she’s doing when Rafe comes up to her. 

“Hey.” He seems anxious. He can’t seem to stand still and his hair’s a mess.

“Hi, you good?” She asks him. 

“No.” She gives him her full attention now. Wondering what he’s about to say to her. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m selfish.” She doesn’t like the tone he says it in. Like he knows he’s about to tell her something he shouldn’t.

“Whatever you’re about to say don’t.” She goes back to her contract, staring at it blankly.

“When I thought you were engaged-”

“Rafe. Enough.”

“I had never felt so heartbroken in my life.” She’s shaking her head at him, trying to get him to stop.

“And I thought, I have to stop this now. I have to do whatever I can to stop it before it goes too far and I have to ruin your wedding. Because I would. Because I’m selfish.” She doesn’t know what to say to that so she says the first thing that comes to mind.

“It’s too late.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” There’s desperation in his voice, his eyes glassy.

“You’re engaged!” She yells, getting up and in his face.

“No, I love you.”

“I love Julio.”

“I love you.”

“Stop!” She turns her back to him and tries to find her breath.

“None of that changes how I feel. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to figure myself out.” She feels him behind her, looming over her shoulder.

“Why are you telling me any of this?”

“I can’t lose you. And that’s what’s happening because I’m an idiot. But I can’t lose you and I’m going to fight for you.” She turns around to face him, taking a step back, creating distance between them.

“There’s no fighting for me. We’re done. We’ve been over for so long. For three years I only spoke to you on stage or in interviews! There’s no us.”

“Tell me you don’t love me.”

“Rafe.” Her voice is firm but he doesn’t care.

“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll go. I’ll leave you alone and you won’t ever have to see me again.”

“Not possible. The band.” She doesn’t know why she needs to make sure the band is safe in this moment, so much has happened between them to keep it alive, it can’t be at risk now.

“Outside of that then. Tell me.” She stays quiet, shaking her head once more.

“Please.” She snaps.

“I was in love with you for years! Since I was 13 years old you have lit up my goddamn world and when you finally gave me that chance, when you started looking at me like we could be something you ripped it all away. You hurt me so much and now? Now is when you want to come back and tell me everything I’ve been hoping for for years. Now when you’re getting married and I’m in a happy relationship?” She finishes, her chest heaving anger leaving her body in droves.

“You’re not in a happy relationship.”

“Rafe.” Her tone is warning him to not continue.

“Come on!  He doesn’t understand you the way I do! Doesn’t understand the life we live, and the sacrifices we have made to be where we are. He’s not good enough for you.”

“And you are?” 

“No.” She throws her hands up, “but, I understand you. I know who you are at your core, baby.” 

“Stop.” She’s sure she’s shooting daggers at him now.

“Why?”

“You don’t get to call me that.”

“No, why are you with him?” He’s close to her again, she can feel his breath hitting her face.

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“Because I love him!” Rafe’s face falls. She exhales. “I love him.”

“No, you don’t.” She stays quiet. 

“You can’t.” He backs up a little, his head shaking, eyes sad.

“Rafe,” she says softly, stepping closer to him. She reaches out but pulls her arm away quickly.

“It’s too late.” She repeats her words from earlier.

“But I love you.” She doesn’t want to hurt him but she knows she has to put an end to this.

“I don’t love you.”

“I’m so stupid. Oh my god, how did I ever let you go? I’m an idiot th-“ she cuts him off putting a hand on his arm.

“Hey hey, stop. It’s okay. We’ll get through this.”

“How?” Tears are threatening to spill over now. His eyes are red. She doesn’t know if it’s from holding back tears or from smoking.

“By being friends.” His blue eyes pierce into hers.

“I’ll try.”

“Okay.” There are a lot of things left unsaid between them. She hugs him for the first time in years and he puts his face in the crook of her neck. She feels him crying. His tears soaking her neck.

“I love you.” She does too. Not in the way that he wants. Not anymore.

“I know.”

[myherowritings]

PART 2. LOVE IS FAKE, MARRY A WEALTHY SUITOR

SUMMARY. Todoroki Shouto was a wealthy, young CEO who inherited his father’s enterprise. You were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. One day, Shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. To your surprise and complete pleasure: It was not.

PAIRING. ceo!todoroki shouto x barista!reader

WORD COUNT. 2.5k

GENRE. ceo/barista au, fluff, eventual smut

WARNINGS. none in this chapter

A/N. thank u guys for all the positive feedback on this series so far and i really hope u enjoy this chapter too ! ^-^ xx sof

SERIES MASTERLIST

© myherowritings — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, copying, or translating of any kind is not allowed. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

It seemed your subtle pleas to the gods to see the mysterious businessman again had been answered, since only the day after Shouto gave you a $100 tip, you saw him at the cafe. 

You looked to the skies with a hint of suspicion. This seemed too easy— You were expecting at least a few weeks of your heart pining as you wondered where-oh-where your dreamy customer could have gone. But instead, after a mere 24 hours later, you saw him enter the store in a pair of pressed trousers and a light blue, button up shirt that was rolled just below his elbows. 

Blinking, you drew your attention away from his exposed forearms. You knew he was attractive from your first encounter, but was he always this hot? 

Sadly, you couldn’t focus too much on that since he had to get behind the line and obstruct himself from your view, and you had to take the order of the next customer. 

“Hi! I can take the next person in line.” You smiled. “Good morning! What can I get started for you today?”

After repeating that five or so more times and starting a few drinks on hot bar, you finally reached Shouto’s place and, thankfully, there didn’t seem to be too many patrons piling behind him. 

“Good morning, Shouto!” you greeted when he stepped forward to the counter. “How are you this morning?”

“Better now that I saw you.” 

Your smile faltered as your cheeks heated up, but you tried to brush it off with a laugh. While Shouto had the definite looks of a so-called businessman playboy, his words held none of the flirtatious intonation as one might expect. In fact, he sounded like he genuinely meant it— Like he was only stating a simple fact and had no reason to be shameful. 

It felt both like an attack on your heart and like a refreshing glass of water at the same time. 

“How about you?” he continued. 

“I could say the same thing,” you said with a chuckle, but you found yourself meaning everything you told him. Though you didn’t expect to see him again at the cafe so soon, you couldn’t deny the instant he walked through the doors, your morning felt just a little bit brighter. “Didn’t think I’d see you again so soon, but this is a pleasant surprise.” 

Shouto had the decency to look a little bashful as he averted his gaze slightly. “Yeah. I…really liked the...cheese danishes.” 

Surprised, a small giggle left your lips. “Don’t tell me you finished all three dozen of them!”

“Well…” He looked even more sheepish. “I didn’t exactly… I guess you could say that.” 

“I’m glad you liked them so much you came back for more,” you teased, looking down at the pastries from the oven you just stocked. “Sadly, our fresh pastry today is a chocolate croissant. I can tell my manager to have cheese danishes made again soon though!”

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll try the chocolate croissants today then. Maybe five dozen this time.” 

Five multiplied by twelve… A whole 60 chocolate croissants? Were they all for him? You shrugged, not one to judge. If someone wanted to eat 60 croissants, so be it. Though you did hope he wouldn’t eat it all in one sitting. That might give him a stomachache. 

“Alrighty, five dozen chocolate croissants,” you repeated as you typed it into the register. “And would you like any beverages with that? Another flat white maybe?” 

“Actually, I’ll have a large macchiato with two extra shots of espresso this time.” 

You nodded with a hum. “Long day ahead?” 

“Unfortunately.” 

“I hope the coffee and croissants can carry you through, Shouto!” you said, wishing his day would go by smoothly. “Will that be all for you today?”

“Thank you, Y/N. I hope so too. And yes, that’s it.”

“Great. $73.24 is your total then! Will you be paying in card again?” 

He nodded. 

“Go ahead and scan and sign when you’re ready.”

You busied yourself by writing his name and order on a large cup and starting the espresso pulls. Your manager was helping get the pastries and other orders ready this morning, so it was nowhere near as hectic as yesterday. 

“Your order will be to your right. It was nice seeing you again, Shouto.” You smiled, giving him a small wave and already wishing you could hold the line up to talk to him longer. “See you tomorrow morning?” you asked almost hesitantly.

He returned your smile with upturned lips of his own. “Yeah. Tomorrow.” Before he left the counter, he pulled out another $100 bill—did he go to a dry cleaners to have his cash steamed and ironed? It was almost ridiculously crisp—and handed it to you. “A tip to show my appreciation for your service.”

“A-Again?” you stammered, eyes wide. That was $200 in two days from just his tip alone. That was more than you made in two weeks when you worked part-time! “Are you sure?”

Whether he had money to spare or not, this was incredibly generous of him and you would never have expected this amount from anyone. And it wasn’t like Shouto made it a scene for everyone in the shop to look at and gawk; he was subtle yet unashamed. Like he wanted to do it for no other reason than to do it. 

“Of course. You deserve it for your work, Y/N.”

The customer behind him made an impatient noise and you winced. You wanted to be able to thank him more, but all you had time for was a simple, “Thank you, I really appreciate it.”

Shouto nodded in response before walking to the other side of the cafe to wait for his order while you managed the other customers in line, a fuzzy but warm feeling lingering in your stomach from your bizarre interaction. Money or not, you enjoyed seeing him in the mornings and were already looking forward to your brief conversations that would take place the next days to come.

He certainly gave you something to look forward to amidst the inconsiderate customers who barely saw you as human every morning. Sometimes, that was all you could ask for. 

When Shouto left the store and the line had died down towards the end of rush hour, your manager approached you with a curious look on her face. 

“That guy named Shouto…?” Miyazaki said. 

You nodded. 

“A friend of yours?”

“You could say that… We just met yesterday’s morning shift,” you said as you finished up the green tea latte for one of the remaining stragglers from the last hour’s boom. “But he’s really friendly I think.”

“You only recently became associated?” she asked, lifting a brow. “It seemed like you two were quite chummy today.” Then, nudged your side. “He was rather attractive don’t you think? And rich-looking.”

Fumbling with the lid on the beverage, you stifled a surprised cough. Sure, you got along with your boss and thought she was one of the more understanding and kind individuals you have worked under, but gossiping about the looks and potential income of a customer with your 56-year-old manager was not on your bingo sheet as a worker here.

“I…” You called out the order for the latte before turning back to your manager. “He is.”

“Ooh, he’s rich?”

“I meant he’s attractive!” you sputtered, feeling abashed at her blunt words. You thought of the tip he gave you in your pocket and his orders of dozens of pastries. “Rich…maybe so. Not that it matters!” 

Miyazaki tsked. “Of course it matters! Marry rich and your life will be easier. That’s what my mother told me and what her mother told her.” She shook her head. “Should’ve listened.” 

You laughed, feeling only a little awkward. It wasn’t the first time you heard that sentiment from someone older than you. It wasn’t uncommon for family members or even workers you were close to to share that same advice—if you could even call it that.

While you agreed money could make a lot of things easier, marrying someone for wealth didn’t appeal to you. But you recognized that even that may come from a place of privilege to be able to say. 

“He seems like a wealthy suitor for you, yes?”

“Suitor—?” you choked out. “No! I mean— We just met! We don’t know anything about each other really.”

She sighed, “Young people and their obsession with marrying someone they ‘know’ for true love. When do you really know someone anyway?” Waving a hand she changed the topic. “But enough of that. What I wanted to say was next time that man comes in here, we can offer him a complimentary box of a dozen pastries— Since he’s spent so much in so little it feels like the right thing to do.”

“Sure. A complimentary dozen.” Finally. Work. A topic you felt much more comfortable talking about. “That, I can do.” 

“And then maybe offer a hand in marriage while you’re at it.”

“Mrs. Miyazaki!” you gasped, feeling only mildly affronted. 

“I joke.” She ruffled her hair and smoothed down her apron. “I’m going to make more pastries now. Can you hold up the front?” 

“You can count on me.”

“I know I can. Thanks for your hard work!” 

And with that, she headed to the backroom where the kitchen was to leave you alone with your thoughts in a quiet cafe. Rush hour ended so there were only a few customers trickling in, most much kinder and more pleasant to talk to than the bustling businessmen of the earlier shift. 

Throughout your small conversations with the patrons, you found yourself thinking back to two things— One, how interesting traditional values and teachings in collectivist cultures were and questioning where you fell into place with them, and two…wondering about Shouto. 

Tomorrow, he had said before he left. You’d see him again tomorrow. 

Oddly enough, you were looking forward to it more than you’d like to admit. 

— ✩ —

It was the fifth day of the week, the fifth time he had seen you at the cafe, and he was already tempted to see you again. Would it be invasive to get another pastry after work? Would you even be there working at that hour?

Shouto saw you this morning (along with all the other mornings before that) and yet he couldn’t quell the pull he felt towards you with only the short interaction time you had together. But he would take what he could get without being weird. 

He had been told in the past he could be too forward and dysregulate his feelings and scare people off, and that wasn’t something he wanted to risk with you, though he was certainly much better at it now with learning and practice. If he was reading things correctly, you at least seemed to enjoy seeing him during your shift. 

“You got more pastries, sir?” an employee from the medical supplies sector asked him gleefully. “I swear they get better each time!”

Shouto nodded with a smile. “I’m glad you like it. I’ll be sure to relay your compliment.”

With the dozens of pastries he’s been ordering from your cafe (each order seeming to grow every time he visited after realizing just how much his employees enjoyed it), he would place them around the breakrooms and staff kitchens in the establishment. Those areas were always fully stocked with drinks and sandwiches and chocolates in case anyone needed a little boost, but nothing seemed to bring as much comfort as freshly baked pastries did. And a different baked good almost everyday seemed to give people more to get excited about. 

He owed it all to your sales’ pitch and blinding smile that made him want to buy it. And your personality, of course.

His Personal Secretary had started to wonder why she no longer was tasked with his early morning coffee runs, and Shouto had to find a way to answer without saying it was because there was a barista he wanted to keep talking to. 

Not even he was that shameless. 

The first time, his PS had just called in sick and Shouto decided he might as well head to a cafe himself for the first time in a while. He worried he might have been rusty while ordering, but you did such a good job at being welcoming and guiding the transaction that he found himself actually enjoying it. (Enjoying you, maybe. But it was too soon to admit that.) 

And now, after that initial meeting, he decided it was worth half an hour of his day to give his PS some early morning break time and visit the cafe himself. 

It was worth it so much, in fact, that the next morning on a Saturday, despite most of his employees being given the weekend off, he still went to buy some coffee and pastries. 

“Good morning!” an older lady called as he entered the front doors. Shouto had seen her assisting in shifts and baking pastries when you were busy working the cash register. “What can I get started for you today?”

He looked around the store—relatively quiet compared to the rush hour during the weekdays—and to his disappointment, saw no sight of you. 

The current barista laughed, seeming to read his very thoughts. “Looking for someone? Y/N perhaps?”

His gaze shot up, feeling like a kid getting caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to by his guardian. Cautiously, he gave a small nod. 

“‘Fraid they have the weekends off, actually,” the lady—her name tag read Miyazaki—said. “But don’t look so down, they’ll be back on Monday morning to greet you with a smile.”

He nodded again, feeling his face heat up. Was he that transparent or did Miyazaki just know too much? “Thank you, ma’am.”

She chuckled, waving him over. “No need to be so formal. Now, is there anything I can get for you? Or were you just visiting in hopes of asking our dear Y/N out?”

“No— I…” Shouto felt himself averting his gaze. “I’ll order something.”

At his apparent discomfort, her mischievous gaze softened. “Of course, hon. Sorry for teasing too much. I was just excited seeing how adorable you and Y/N were.” She cleared her throat. “I mean, that’s not my business. Anyway. What can I get started for you?”

He asked for a macchiato and a couple dozen of today’s pastries, paid, and tipped. (Though, it was initially met with a blatant rejection. He didn’t take it too hard; he knew some older members of society thought of tips as insulting and he’d never force anyone to take a tip if it made them feel bad. But after offering again, she thankfully accepted it.)

When he left the cafe, although the exchange was pleasant enough, Shouto still found himself disappointed he wasn’t able to see you. 

At least he had something to look forward to next Monday morning, though part of him wished the day would somehow come sooner. 

a/n: hope u enjoyed miyazaki’s words of wisdom u.u FHKDF i’m totally kidding, but if ur asian like me then u kNOW what convos like that are like omg ,, just had my mom and two grandmas tell me that recently :’/ kskskfd but anyway i hope u enjoyed this chapter and liked seeing a glimpse of shouto’s thoughts ;3 tysm for reading!

what to expect in the next part:

more shouto and y/n :>

maybe some ~flirting~ pfft idk idk u.u

some minor...misunderstandings 

“hello, zuko here” vibes

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends — Part 20

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she’s brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues both of them, my girl Sofia kinda messy.

Series masterlist

Sofía opened up her eyes because there was so much fucking sun on the bedroom, as soon she opened one eye she knew. She knew she fucked up when she realized it was Chris's bedroom and his fucking thing about sleeping without curtains. 

She turned around on the bed and indeed, he was there, sleeping as an oak. On his belly, one hand under the pillow and looking peaceful as he can be. 

She sighed and looked under the covet, not naked but she wasn't on her clothes, one of Chris's shirts and some basketball shorts, real sexy. 

"I need to get the fuck out." She whispered to herself and stood from the bed, as quietly as she could and tipped toe out of the room just to be received by Dodger, jumping and barking because he was happy to see her. 

"Oh God, I love you but shut up baby," She tried to sush the doggo by rubbing his face but Dodger wasn't having it. She cursed under her breath as she heard Chris moving on the bed and beeline to the living room to grab her things. She only wanted her phone to get the fuck out because she was remembering the shit she pulled last night on her fucking alcohol mania episode. 

"Morning," Chris said, walking up on her throwing the sofa pillow to the side as she was looking for her phone. 

"Have you seen my phone!?," She asked without even looking at him. Chris hummed and walked past her to the kitchen, where he left it charging before sleeping. It's started to ring on Chris's hands. 

"It's Ron, " He said, showing her the phone and Sofia grabbed the phone from his hands and started talking business right there, hangover as she could possibly be and her ex boyfriend watching her pacing in the living room with an amuse smile on his face. 

"Ron, hold on a second," She said on the phone and put it on mute. "Where's my shit?" Sofia asked Chris and he pointed at the other sofa and indeed her clothes were there. "Thanks," She muttered and went there and started talking with Ron again, ignoring Chris as much she could. "Yeah, okay. Look, we will figure it out, I'll be there as soon as I can." she said and hung up. 

"Everything okay?" He asked, looking how she was quickly getting dressed. 

"No," She muttered and took off the shirt and put on hers. "Look, whatever happened last night I was drunk," 

"I know, don't worry—

"It won't happen again," She said and sigh. "Thanks for not leaving me alone, I was pretty fucked up."

"Sof, it's okay…" He said and gave her a side smile. "Want breakfast?" 

"I can't, I have to go—work and stuff," She looked down and put on her shoes. "Thanks." 

Sofia took a step forward, wanting to say something or at least hug him but she decided against it. "I'm just—" She pointed at the door and started walking towards it. "Yes, bye thanks."

"Bye," Chris said, watching her go and rubbed his face, signing. "Jesus Christ."

-

Sofía was literally screaming while she was taking shower, memories flooding her mind of the things she did last night. 

After Chris told her that, all that she had left to do is either cry or get fucked up. She chooses the second and proceeds to drink all she can. 

"Okay, what happened?" Scott asked once Chris reunited with them by the grill, grabbing a cold beer. 

"Nothing, we just… Talk." He shrugged. "I don't know, men. It's so complicated between us. I don't wanna lose her by any means but," He shook his head. "We both stupid around each other."

Sofia was again by the little bar and Alex was there, still talking with Ryan. 

"Hey," She said with a smile, he did too. "sorry about that, you still got that drink?" 

"Yeah, yeah. Beer it's good?," He asked and she shook her head. 

"Let's try something stronger, shall we?," She said and pointed at the vodka, Alex chuckled and went for it. 

And they did, a lot of shots later they were still chatting and chasing down the vodka with some beer. She was drunk as she could be, all inhibitions were out of the window and Chris was staring at her like a hawk the whole time.

"Hey, you wanna get out of here?" She asked, giving him a look and Alex laughed. 

"God, yes," He said, biting his lip and looking her up and down. "But I gotta be straight with you," 

"Alright, shoot."

"I was told you're off limits so I can't mess with you," 

"Excuse me?" She said surprised at what he just said and instinctively looked at the crowd outside and saw Chris looking at them, beer in one hand as he smoked with the other. 

"Yeah, you're Chris Evans ex and he's here… Boston ita a pit stop for me and I want to be an actor, if you know what I mean—

"Oh my God," She rolled her eyes and let out an annoyed grunt.

"Believe me, I would absolutely love to rail that ass you got but he's an A lister, think of the connections he—

"Just shut the fuck out." She wave a hand at his direction and grabbed the vodka, taking a sip and bee line to Chris not fucking caring at all about making a scene. 

"Excuse me," She said walking between the little circle of friends around Chris and all of them went quiet, knowing that was about to go down. "You," She said pointing at Chris and he looked at her, giving his beer a chug. 

"Yes, Sof?" 

Sofia scoffed and had to take a swing at her vodka, straight out of the bottle. She literally don't give a fuck anymore.

"Don't yes Sof me. What the fuck are you doing?" she muttered and Chris frown.

"What are you talking—

"oh, don't you pull what you are talking about, bitch. You know, what the fuck I'm talking about." She said with an accusatory finger pressed to his chest. 

All the guys ohh at them and Sofia had to laugh because she went for it, she was mad but not that mad. 

"Baby," Chris said, smiling and grabbed her by the hand. "Come on." he led her again to the side of the house where it was somehow private. 

"Not your baby, you dumped me." She reminds him again as he leads the way to talk, again. 

"And I told you I'm an asshole, what are you talking about?",

"You're cockblocking me with your fame." She explained with a pout and Chris had to chuckle. "Why are you laughing? This is-is bad. Like—

"Why is it bad?" he asked, drinking his beer, still smiling. "I Don't want to see some other asshole kissing you."

Sofia had to blink four times, slowly as her drunk brain tried to process. Was that… Christopher… Jealous? 

"Oh, my Dios mio. You—Christopher. The audacity, oh-" She was throwing her hands on the air and ranting in Spanish at him. "Boy, imma throw hands at you right now. I swear to God almighty I want to slap the shit out of you." Sofia pointed her finger at him and let out a scream with both hands on her mouth. 

"At least I'm saying what the fuck I want."

"Well, I don't want to see you getting back with all your fucking exes right on my fucking face." She rubbed her face messing up her eyeliner because she was feeling anger, frustration and honestly a little aroused at him behind fucking toxic because she was used to that and bring her some twisted type of comfort and validation. 

"That includes you?" He asked and leaned on the wall right beside her and Sofia turned around so fast that she tripped on her own two feet. Chris pulled her into his body, right between his legs and held her there. He tossed his beer on the ground and put both hands on her hips. He's drunk, he has to be drunk. She thought for a moment as she just…let him… touch her. 

"God, fuck you." She said pressing her lips onto his mouth, he kissed her back with no hesitation. 

"You didn't answer my question." He said pulling back and Sofia rolled her eyes at him and tried to pull away but Chris grabbed her by her neck and pulled her in again, Sofia let out a subtle moan and curse. 

"Fuck," She breath out, closing her eyes as Chris pressed her lips against her jaw, nipping and kissing. 

"And?" 

"I'm answering you shit." Sofia whispered and grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him again. Chris grabbed her ass and pulled her up, Sofia wrapped her legs around his hips and Chris turned around and pressed her against the wall, she forgot everything for a moment and it felt exquisite. 

Kissing him, feeling him against her skin, his perfume, the softness of his hair between her fingers and the roughness of his hands on her body. 

"God, I love you," She muttered as he nipped her neck and Chris stopped right away to look at her, making Sofia open her eyes and find him looking at her, serious. "What?," She asked, leaning. "Kiss me." She murmured against his lips but Chris didn't respond. 

"You meant it?" He asked and Sofia stared at him. 

"What?" She asked avoiding his eyes and lean on again but he pushed her away. 

"Do you love me?" He asked and Sofia let out a sigh. 

"There's no point. We're never getting back together," She now pushed him away, untangled her legs around him and tried to walk away but her legs gave up as soon she hit the floor. 

[justkindaoverhereobsessing]

2020 IN WRITING

tagged by: @indestinatus​

tagging: no one, because I am unable to think straight. But whoever is interested in doing this: I’m interested in reading it. <3 

Wow, okay, I’m getting real in this little questionnaire... read at your own risk, friends.

1. List of works published this year:

I genuinely can’t write them all out here... there are too many of them! (I’ve done so little besides writing this year!) But I keep a running list of all my projects here. I’m sorry for cheating on this one, haha. 

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

This question comes up a lot on these things, and I always put the same answer: That We May Forgive. It’s has emotional moments, silly moments, heartfelt moments where the warmth made me cry as I wrote. It was written in one sitting, and it’s the story where I felt most connected to the characters I love so much. It sums up the joy I feel knowing that these (fictional) friends of mine have finally reached peace after too many years of trauma and hardship. I began the story with a single line in mind, after which the characters took over and told the story for me:

Ziva's second pregnancy is nothing like her first.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

You Stumble, You Soar, which was written for one of my dearest friends in the world, @why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee​. I wanted to do so much better by her, but as I ran out of time to complete the story by the end of her birthday, I rushed the writing and I think the story suffered for it. It made her happy, though, and that’s the most important thing. She deserves all the happiness, all the time—but especially on her birthday. 

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I can’t think of a favorite excerpt of my writing, because I’ve written so much that I can’t think back!

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

“Wow. Let me just tell you that I am absolutely in love with this story. I wake up everyday and, as I log into fanfiction, my only hope is that you've uploaded a new chapter because DAMN. The characters are so well written, the story is beautifully constructed and this last chapter just broke my heart into tiny little pieces. What a remarkable job you've done. Please, don't ever stop writing NCIS/Tiva fanfiction- specially this one story: it's one of my all time favorites. Thank you :)”

An incredibly kind and inspiring comment by a reader named Alexandra on my longest (WIP) fic, We Are an Ocean.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I’ve had two periods of NCIS hiatus this year—and actually, I’m still in the midst of the second one right now. These have periods of turmoil in my own life. When I’m upset, feeling sick, feeling sorry for myself and I’m depressed and aching... that’s when I write the best, because writing is my safety blanket. When I’m feeling numb, though, or lost... the characters are lost to me, too, and so are the words I use to wrap them (and myself) in comfort.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I’m going to deviate here from NCIS, which is—I’m well aware—why most of my followers have chosen to follow me. But in the last month, I’ve written a single fic for Criminal Minds—it’s called In Possibility, it’s unpublished, and it’s now over 100,00 words. It’s centered on Spencer Reid, who was intimidating to me when I started writing the fic. He’s far more intelligent than I am, requiring me to do a lot of research to give him realistic lines, he’s a deep and complicated character with complicated motivations and a tangled, traumatic past. He also has a sweet, really good heart that’s been scarred by years of difficult work and an emotionally taxing personal life. 

I thought he’d be difficult to write; to my surprise, he comes as naturally to me as any of my other favorite characters ever have. He gave me my first nanowrimo win! To be frank, he’s gotten me through a lot of shit this year. That was the best surprise.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

To be honest, I wasn’t much of a writer before this year. I enjoyed writing, especially in a roleplay setting with fandom friends... but I deeply struggled with trying to write alone. I didn’t do much of it.

Then, this year, well... the concept of writing exploded into the most important distraction, escape, and joy I could imagine. 

I didn’t grow as a writer this year. I became a writer this year.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

My most recent project—the one that, as I’ve said, is (and will remain) unpublished—has given me a new perspective. It’s written for an audience of me and only me... so I’ve given myself permission to engage in the most ridiculously self-indulgent writing I’ve ever embraced and thrown myself into. 

And it has been the greatest joy I could imagine in a time of great pain.* 

Next year, I want to throw myself into every project I work on with as much reckless abandon as I’ve done in this last project. I want to stop worrying so much about what people will think and pursue the words that are bursting out of the fingers on my laptop keyboard. I want to have confidence in my ability to draw out emotions—if from no one else, at least from myself.

“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.” —Emily Dickinson

And it’s alright if that one heart is mine.

That’s what I want to accomplish in my writing next year, and what a growth that would be!

* I’ve mentioned this in my last post, but I’m recovering from brain surgery, I also have the COVID-19 virus, and I’m working on passing a kidney stone that may be too big to pass. I’m writing 10,000 words a day to get through it—and it’s working. Distraction is everything to me right now.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Like Sof, I have to tag three people here, because I really couldn’t choose just one. My three best friends in the world all influenced my writing in their own ways! <3 (Sorry for deviating a little from the writing thing in some of the following lines, oops. I just have emotions that are all over the place this week!)

@indestinatus — One of a few best friends who has had my back every day for so long now. She listens when I need to talk things out—whether or not I’m talking about writing. She really gets me when I need to be silly, or I need to be serious, or I just really, really need a friend. Also, she inspired me to start learning Portuguese this year, and I’m actually practicing by writing a fic in Portuguese, lol. It’s slow going... but Sof encourages me (and corrects me, haha) whenever I work on it, just as she does with absolutely anything else I work on. Truly, I’ve had few friends in my life that are so special to me, and I love her. I really do. 

@why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee — Is there a better cheerleader on this earth? Is there a better friend? Doubtful on both counts. She thinks I’m a disaster—and, by the way, she’s absolutely right—and she sometimes has to remind me to eat and sleep, but she’s totally cool with being my internet mom. Doesn’t matter that she’s nearly a decade younger than I am, lol. All of these things have bolstered me when the writer inside of me has faltered, and she has carried my burdens as I wrote them out. Anyway, she reads everything I write, and she has requested to gain access to all of my unfinished chapters and unpublished works in the event that I die—I completely trust her with that nonsense. I’ve written it into my will. Really. Like with Sof, I genuinely love Tiz, and I’d do anything for her. 

@honeybadgerdocare — Best friend of 20 years. She doesn’t watch the same shows that I do, and my endless ranting makes very little sense to her... but she listens. She’s my sounding board for everything I write, everything I read, everything I watch, and everything that gives me big feelings. I genuinely can’t describe how much she has helped me with my writing every single day, so I’ll leave it at this: I could not do it without her. I’d drown in my own struggles and I’d stop creating the art that sustains me. She’s my soulmate—sorry to her fiancé. All of my love goes to her!

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

HAHAHAHAHA it’s cute how you think my writing is anything other than a re-organized and fictionalized version of my life and my feelings. Real life shows up in my writing, and my writing shows up in my real life. It gets crazy and obsessive, but like... I had a trip to Israel booked this year (obviously canceled due to the pandemic, but still) because Ziva comes from Israel. (Also because of my Jewish adoration for the spiritual homeland, but the thought of going and the trip planning all started with Ziva.) I went to Baltimore so I could run down an alley yelling “YOU CAN’T OUTRUN ME, I’M WEARING TUBE SOCKS!” to encourage my inner Tony DiNozzo. I nearly froze to death in Washington, D.C. and called my mom every time I saw a little red mini coop that looked like Ziva’s, or came across a place that was featured in an NCIS scene.

And to answer the actual question here, because I obviously flipped it around like the moron I am... when the pandemic canceled things I was desperately looking forward to, I wrote a fic where Tali’s excitedly anticipated dance recital got canceled because of the pandemic. I lost my appendix (last year, but the fic was written this year — does that count?) and wrote a fic where Tali loses hers, too. (I swear, I don’t always write things that torture Tali, lol, these are just my best examples!) When I lost a couple of loved ones this year, I wrote a funeral scene where Tony and Tali remembered Ziva. Writing is definitely free therapy, y’all.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write for yourself—write what you love, and you’ll love what you write. That’s all. That’s it. That’s my advice, something I’ve learned this year.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’ve been working on We Are an Ocean for roughly a year now, and 2021 needs to see it finished. I’ve got a number of lovely, dedicated readers who deserve to see the story play out as it’s intended to be played out. 

Also, my greatest love right now, In Possibility, will probably write itself to an end in 2021. Or... who knows? Maybe it will worm its way into 2022, too. :-)

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year:

Since I already went into detail about my favorite fic of mine from this year (That We May Forgive), I’ll recommend a different one: The Stars Always Make Me Laugh. It has some of the darkest moments I’ve ever written, but it also has some of the lightest moments I’ve ever written. It was an answer to two different challenges, and if I can say this without sounding arrogant, I think I met the challenges beautifully. It gave me comfort, catharsis, and closure for a few things in my own life... and I hope it comforts my readers, too. 

15. Year word count: 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT (excuse my French). I just added up my AO3 word count + my current unpublished project, and... my word count is:

428,557.

FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN WORDS

I nearly just fell out of my chair. Goodbye, friends. I am deceased.

[drawlfoy]

Honey, Honey

masterlist request guidelines requests are open! 

pairing: draco x reader

request: yes! hopefully you’re into this!

summary: reader is confused as to why draco suddenly pulled away from her after an..interesting night. loosely based off of my interpretation of ABBA’s Honey, Honey.

warnings: fluff, underage drinking, draco being a lightweight, me not knowing how to write drunk people because i’m a law abiding american woman, language, some blood mentions 

a/n: this is the very first song fic i’ve written, and i’m not going to do it the classic way they’re normally executed. i’m not a big fan of injecting the lyrics into dialogue or just pasting the lyrics into the space in between scenes. instead, i’m going to alter the lyrics to fit into certain moments of dialogue to aid the flow of the story. also i’ve never seen mamma mia so if i totally took this song out of context i’m sorry!

taglist: @accio-rogers

music recs: believe it or not i’m gonna rec honey, honey by ABBA and even writer in the dark from lorde, if you’re feeling rebellious

word count: 1,873

She’d known of the Slytherin for years and years, ever since she’d started at Hogwarts. How could she not have noticed him? He was notoriously skilled at drawing attention to himself--his uncommonly pale, shiny head did the job quite well.

Countless times, Y/N had watched him as he gracefully sat himself across from her at the table, shooting her a dazzling smile while still controlling his composure, appearing as nonchalant as ever. They’d toss a few words at each other, some to test the sparring waters, others to wish each other luck on the upcoming exam. Y/N could go as far to say that she was proud to be acquaintances with her crush, no matter how hopeless her feelings were.

And that’s why it was such a shock to see a very inebriated Draco Malfoy stumble about in her common room on a wild Friday night. He always made appearances at parties, maybe sipping a few drinks and playing a classic game of Truth or Dare, but never getting drunk enough to lose his cool, unbothered image. 

Y/N watched from the dark green leather couch, nursing a still-full cup of firewhiskey while her legs were tucked up under herself. While it was concerning, she couldn’t deny that it was at least a little humorous. Draco Malfoy didn’t stumble, he glided from place to place on his swanky, custom-made dress shoes.

She glanced down at her drink for a second, looking up only when she heard the unorganized shuffling of feet in front of her. 

“Hey, Draco,” she greeted the blonde, smiling up at him.  “What’s up?”

He didn’t say anything, choosing to look down at her with his mouth agape instead.

“Do I have something on my face? Or...” She furrowed her eyebrows.

“Can I sit?” he managed, only slightly slurring his words. Y/N thanked Merlin that the party had mostly cleared out by now, each member having returned to their respective dorms, otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to make out his words. 

“Yes, yes, do you need help?” Y/N unfolded her legs, positioning herself to aid his way down. He raised a hand to block her in protest, heavily flopping down on the couch.

“Hey, that’s my spot!” she complained, placing her drink on the coffee table and shooting him an exaggerated frown.

“Still could be,” he muttered, opening his arms up as an invitation. 

Y/N blushed furiously, choosing to sit down next to the blonde boy instead of on top of him. 

“So, what’s going on? I’ve never seen you this drunk before.” Y/N had a feeling that she had no business pressing the issue, but she couldn’t help but be curious.

As expected, he rolled his eyes and evaded meeting hers. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Why’d you come over here then?”

“’Cause I’m lonely and I like you,” he grumbled, his posh accent lost on the lazy words coming out of his mouth. 

Y/N’s eyes widened. “You...what?”

“I’m lonely? Yeah, not sure if you noticed, but all my friends left,” he complained, leaning over so his now ruffled hair brushed against her cheek for the briefest of moments.

“You know that’s not what I was asking about,” Y/N said, focusing all her energy on not letting too much excitement into her voice. 

“Then ask me the question, I don’t have all day,” he said. Before Y/N could begin formulating a coherent answer, he leaned into her so her side was now holding up his upper body.

“Draco, you’re acting weird,” she noted, observing the flush on his cheeks that was visible, even in the dim lighting up the common room. “How much have you had?”

“You’re evading the question, Y/N,” he taunted, his cheek rubbing across her shoulder. Who knew Draco would be such a cuddly drunk?

“You like me?” The words blurted out before she lost the confidence to do so. 

“We talk every morning,” he told her, turning his head up to be level with her ear. Each inhale and exhale made from Draco sent shivers down her spine, and she fought to keep them at bay. “You really think I would do that if I disliked you?”

As one of his hands began to fiddle with the sleeve of her jumper, another wave of courage hit her. 

“But do you fancy me?”

She didn’t know what she was expecting--perhaps for him to freeze, pull away, to get up and sneer at her--but he didn’t do anything she could’ve thought of.

Draco was suddenly wrapped around her arm, drawing circles on the bare skin that had been exposed and still resting his cheek on her shoulder. 

“Don’t be daft,” he murmured. “How could I not.”

This time it was Y/N whose body grew rigid. “Oh.”

“I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that,” he confessed, his own fingers ceasing movement. “Yeah. I really wasn’t supposed to tell you. Forget I ever said anything.” 

Draco seemed to sober up, leaning away from her and releasing her arm. Y/N watched in shock as he got up to walk away.

“Wait!” Her hand shot out to grab his own, keeping him from moving any further. “Please don’t go. I lik--fancy you, too.”

He turned to face her, a bittersweet expression swallowing his elegant features. Within seconds, he was kneeling in front of her, his face level with hers. He took her face in his hands, a gesture he did so tenderly that tears pricked in her eyes. 

Their lips met, and Y/N felt her heart stop.

He pulled away after just a few seconds, meeting her eyes with a pleading look.

“I know.” His thumb dragged across her cheekbone, lingering there for a second before he finally moved away, leaving Y/N to try and decipher his actions. 

oOo (oooh that’s right, i’m changing up my scene breaks because even tho the hearts looked cute on desktop they looked ugly on mobile and i love you guys too much to do that)

After that night, Y/N began seeing much less of Draco. His unassigned assigned seat moved down to the very end of the Slytherin table, leaving her with Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode to converse with. He no longer showed up to dorm parties, and she often saw him coming and going out of the common room at odd hours. 

She couldn’t exactly understand what was going on with him. Sure, she’d heard the rumors of him being a Death Eater, but she couldn’t imagine that being the case. Draco was too young, too sweet to accept such a thing.

Perhaps he was just avoiding her. Y/N was somewhat flattered that she may have had such an impact on his life, but she was also deeply hurt. She missed having someone to bitch with at every meal, as silly as it sounded. And she didn’t think that she was that bad of a kisser. 

Y/N let herself believe that it was just the courseload. 6th year was a difficult time for every student, and Draco was no exception. His parents expected too much out of him, and while she understood their motives, she couldn’t help but pity him. 

She was at a pained peace for the next few months as she attempted to forget about the night in the common room and how sweetly he treated her. Unfortunately, her introspection was interrupted one winter afternoon when she saw Snape helping a certain blonde Slytherin to the hospital wing. His white dress shirt was bloodied, and Y/N couldn’t help but yelp at the sight. 

“Miss Y/L/N,” Snape greeted briskly. She saw Draco’s head bob up in recognition. “I trust that nobody will be hearing about what you’re seeing from you.”

It was an order and an underhanded request for her to leave them be, but Draco mattered to her, and now she was certain that something wasn’t right. There was no way this was just coursework. 

“What happened to him?” she shrilled, wincing at her voice. 

“Nothing to see, Y/L/N,” Snape affirmed, walking past her and shooting her a dangerous look. “I’d hate to take any house points away.”

She stood with her mouth hanging open, frozen in shock. “You can’t be serious! He’s hurt!”

“How kind of you to inform me,” Snape snapped. “Run along, or detention for a month.” 

Her eyes widened and she dashed off, embarrassed that she could be bought off with the mention of detentions. But, at the same time, she knew that all she had to do was wait, wait for Snape to leave him be. Madame Pomfrey had a soft spot for Y/N, and she would most likely allow her to see him. 

oOo

“I really don’t think a visitor is what he needs right now,” Madame Pomfrey stated, wringing out bloodied rags and reshuffling bottles of Dittany. 

“Please, please, I promise I won’t do anything to upset or fatigue him,” Y/N pleaded, meeting the woman with her most convincing look. “I’ve been so worried about him, and he’s my friend. I brought him the homework from today.”

Madame Pomfrey studied her for a moment.

“Fine. Leave the curtain open, though, and if I say you need to leave, you need to leave.”

Y/N grinned, restraining the urge to jump with joy. “Thank you! Thank you!”

Pomfrey shooed her off, pointing her in the general direction of where Draco lay. She strode over, opening the curtain and sitting in the chair by the bed.

Draco was deathly pale, even more than usual. His eyelashes were closed, casting faint shadows on his very prominent purple eyebags. Even though he looked sickly, his hair looked as soft as ever.

“Draco,” she said softly, reaching her hand out to touch his. He jerked awake, he eyes snapping open and focusing on her.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” he hissed. He tried to sit up but groaned, laying back down after the pain hit him. 

“I had to come see you,” she admitted, stroking up and down his arm. “I’ve been worried about you. I miss you. Did I do something?”

He blinked hard. 

“No, no, this has nothing to do with you.” He flinched at the dismissive tone, but he didn’t know what else to say. “You’ve heard the rumors. Things are getting strange and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Get hurt?” She wrapped her fingers around his arm, noticing how tense he became. “I can take care of myself, and I really, really like you, and I wish you’d stop avoiding me.”

Draco shut his eyes, falling back onto his pillow so he was looking up at the ceiling.

“You’re gonna be the death of me.”

“There’s nothing else I’d rather be, Draco,” she quipped, releasing his arm to intertwine his fingers with hers. 

He shuddered, thinking for a few moments. 

“Okay? You’ll stop avoiding me?” she asked hopefully, making to leave.

“As long as you stay here a little longer, I could use the company.” He smirked at her, peering through his eyelashes.

“Of course,” she agreed, setting her things down and sitting again. Y/N moved the chair closer to the the top of the bed, carding her fingers through his hair as he shut his eyes, finally content. 

final a/n: i was gonna go for adding song lyrics at the end but i was like uhhhh better not. did not edit or get a beta to read this. if you’re just dying to be a beta reader let me know since my grammatical errors from lazy writing are getting out of hand haha. thanks for reading, let me know what you thought!

[finding-the-daylight]

So, now that my finals are officially over, I am going to proceed to have a drink or two or three and rewatch Eclipse. Here’s (soberly) what I remembered from the film prior to starting this account (since starting this account, posts re:Eclipse have reminded me of things I’m not going to include in this introduction): 

1. Bella is basically playing tic-tac-toe with Edward and Jacob and her feelings for them. She can’t make up her mind. When I watched it the first time, my dad was in the living room half paying attention to it and said she was very selfish. 

2. Edward tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

3. Jacob tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

4. Both fight for her affection and even though she’s engaged to Edward, she won’t let go of Jacob.

5. When the newborn army shows up, Bella cuts her arm with a rock.

6. There’s awkward tension in the tent.

That’s literally all I remember of the movie while sober (aside from what I have relearned from posts about Eclipse on this blog). My drunken thoughts will be below the break:

Okay, so this dude I think his name is Riley is lowkey kinda dumb, no offense. Like he just stood there and screamed “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” This is how all horror movies end badly. You don’t talk back. You run or hide or esape.

THE MEADOW IS SO FUCKING PRETTY. IT’S THE PUREST THING WE HAVE IN THIS FANDOM OMG HE’S PLAYING WITH EHR HAIR AND I JUST WANT SOMEOEN TO PLAY WITH MY HAIR. DAMN BELLA, MY FINALS ARE OVER. SUCKS TO SUCK, DOESN’T IT?

I never noticed the CUllen cuff before, but now thanks to this blog it’s all I’m looking @ lmao. 

I FCKING LOVE CHARLIE TOO MUCH AND HE DESERVED BETTER THIS WHOLE TIME. HE IS SUCH A GOOD FATHER AND HE DESERVES THE BEST.

THERE’S A GLOWING RED LIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WTF I THINK IT’S THE REFLECTION OF A CAR LIGHT BUT I FUCKING SWEAR

NVM ITS GONE

WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD?? YOU MESSED WITH BELLA’S TRUCK SO SHE COULDN’T SEE HER FRIEND? FUCK. I WOULD’VE DUMPED YOU AND LEFT YOU IN THE WOODS BRO.

Edward sitting with Bella’s friends. We can’t help but stan. He’s still a bitch for the truck thing though. 

I love how Alice looks @ Edward and tells him the party will be fun because she knows nothing bad will happen. But then he reads her mind and looks conerned wtf is ognna happen?

Side note: I really like the lighting in this movie. Everyone has a healthly glow. They lokk happy.

The fucking Volturi always gotta ruin everything. Bitch ass hoes. Ol’ crusty asses acting like some outdated monarchy. Why don’t the vamprires start a democratic government?

Charlie really deserved better. Like I know they couldn’t tell him teh truth but they could’ve been slightly less untruthful prbabl.

I WANNA FIND SOMEONE WHERE MY MOM SAYS WE’RE LIKE MAGNETS WITH EACH OTHER. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK @ ME LIKE I’M THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. DAMNIT EDWARD. DAMNIT STEPHENDW. 

Y’ALL ARE TELLING ME THE ENTIRE CULELN CLAM COMBINED COULDN’T TKAE OUT VICTORIA? THIS SHIT IS GETTING UNREALISTIC LMAO.

THE MUSIC THAT STARTS PLAYING WHEN JAKE TURNS AROUND IN THE PARKING LOT SENT ME LMAOOOOO. 

Leah is such a badass and I wnat to be best friends with ehr plase. 

ALSO FCK THIE IMPRINTING STORYLINE. 

SAM AND LEAH WERE HAPPY TOGETHER.

NO BELLA YOU DON’T FUCKING WANNA KNOW WHAT IMPRINTING IS. NONE OF US WANTD WTO KNWO. IT NEVER SHOULDVE BEEN WRITTEN.

Taylor and Kristen are such babies in this movie. They’re so young and precious. WHIH REMINDS ME WHY TF DID SPTHEJNFNWFNA MAKE THIS SEIRESO ABOUT CHIDLREN??!?! I STILL SAY IF THE CHARACTERS HAS BEWNNF MORE MATUEE AND IN LIKE THEIR MID OR LATE TWNETIEMS OR THIRTIS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. FIUCKUNG FIGHT ME.

INITING BELLA TO HEAR THE TRIBE’S HISTORIES? THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION FUCK STEPHEN0AWFJQ. BITCHJ.

SETH IS SO PRECIOUS. AGAIN. THEY’RE ALL SUCH BABIES. THESE POOR CHILDREN.

this hwoel shite is sof ukcing offensie. bitch. listen. why tf did stpehwb fafb have to appropriate cultues like this? BITCH>> you do realize if the legnds are actually like this they’rel ike that because it’s aout defeating yo white as sright? like your’e aware stpehebe ? 

omg bree is so scare d poor baby. literally why did stephenjdbawfbi do this? she just wnated to be ok not hurt anywaon.

exuce me vut CARLISLE IS HOT AS FUCK BITCH

edward is saying some real romantic shit and i sill hate him for the turck thing but like he loves her so much btu he’s stil an asshoel in this smovie

I’M ABOUT TO HATE JACOB I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES I’VE SEEN THE GIFS HOE WE GONNA GIGHT. BITCH SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU DON’T PUSH HER LIKE THIS. DUMBAS S HOE BITCH. YOU’RE GONNA FIGHT FOR HER? I’M GONNA FUCKIN FIGHT YOU BTCH. I WISH SHE WAS ALREAYD A VAMPIRE SO RTHAT PUNCH WOULDA HURT BITCH YOU DESERVED IT.

THESE FUCKWITS ARE FIGHTING OVER HER AND NOT LISTNEING TO HER THEY ARE BOTCH CANCELLED. BELLA NEEDS TO LEAVE BOTH THESE HOES AND GET A NEW MAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO LISTNE. BITCHES.

I love Emmett so much. BELLA SHOULD FINA A MAN LIKE HIM. IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES.

ROSALIE IS ABOUT TO POP TF OFF. SHE IS A QUEEN AND I LVOE AND SUPPORT HER. the saddest thing about this is that she thought her life was perfect and then some fucking asshoes ruiend it. she was so happy. wtf im gonna cry. fuck. i hate sptehej n so much. these gross ass hoes i’m gonna cik all theyre assses. this is so gross i’m so angry literaluy setthing beithc. BUT THEN SHE GETS HER REVENGE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. FUCK THOSE BASTARS. but she;s so sad it breaks my heart. she wants to be human so bad. this scene is so sad and it’s theonly good scene in twilight and nikki reed deserves an ocsa like if you agree.

jane and alec more childrne who should’ve been able to be children fck the volturie

why the hel is jessica the fucking valedinact ion? it should’ve been bella they made her seem so damn smart but now she’s not theo ne? i don’ beliee it. but anna kendrick is a gift and now i wanna watch ptiche perfect. CHARLIE is so pure he deserved better and i’m gona kep saying it.

i love those fucking rose colored lamps hanging at the cullens house int he window at hte party scene can anyone link them to me i need? 

why the hell is the wolfpack athe cullesn hosue? this doesnt make sense and it doesn’t seem real am i too drunk and imabginf this?

jno wait it’s real. jake’s appolgoizng.

how fucking conventinet the woflpakc is there hwen alice realizes there abotu to be attacked. this aint realistc. bitc.

why are these kids being forces to act like audls? “I wans;t asking for permission” hoe you’re like 16 go home and go tib ed and odnt go to war.

these woflies gonan kick yo ass edward get tf out

i’m laughign nrow but nothigng funy is happening lmaoooo

fck carlisle is really hot as fuck his jawline kills me

i hate jasper’s hair here i’m sorry i know we all lovehim bt heis hair is a dam nmess

belal is so fuckign negative all the time no one is gonan get killed exceptsvictoris

THE COWBOOIIIII WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE OWNE WILSON IN THIS DAMN LIGHTIN? ALICE AND JASPER LOVE EACH TOHER SO MUCH MY APLOGIZKE MAAM FCK IT UP.

why thfe fuck is hake comparing his situaton with leah and sam and emily? We are nto the same hoe wae are not the same. bella is choosing edward sit yo ass down. but i still thin kyall are both problemastic as fuck in thos movie and hse deserves better.

CHARLIES DESEVRS  BTETER THEY KEEP LYIGN EVEN WHEN THEY DUCKGN DONT NEED TO

reblog if you thought edward and bella wre gona fuc, when she went over to his house in eclipse when yo ufirst read the book or saw the movue

he really oes love her a lot though fkcn i’m so alone 

 he looks si sad wgen he mentind ices tea on the porch poor edward

EVERY DANM MOMENR OF FOREVER BITCG I WANT  LOVE LIK THST 

LITERALLY THIS IS THE SUTPEIDEST PLOT EVER. A WHOLE FUCKIN ARMY TOO ATTACK ONE IGRL? BITCH. THIS AINT EVEM A THING. 

im gettign ral tired yall dik if i waill mke it to the end of this movie but i will tru

i hate the enrgey from jae and efard in this tent. ya’ll are both dumb hoes and she could do better than either ofy ou. 

WRHAT THE FUCK FASTER IF YOUR TOOK YORU CLOTHS OFF BITCH WHAT THE FUCK NOW I AM GONNA FUCKIN PUNCH YOU IB HOEP BELLA OUBCHES YOU WHEN SHES A VMAPRIE STUPID HOE 16 YEAR OLD SHOULD BE AT HOME IN BED INSTEAD OF IN A TENT TRYING TO FIGH A FCUKCN WAR

edward is such an emo boi in the tent and he thinsk she doesn;t lve him any more. yo ua stipiud hoe edearf but she still loves you anwyab ithc.

wheb edward said i’m not gonna force her into naythign ever agin i realized he was hte better man good for you eddie you fickun manned up you win

MY REASON FOR ESXITNST HOE I JST WNAT TO BE LOVED

now edwards bene a fuckboi again trying to hurt jake b ymaking sure he knew they were getting maried edward what the fuck iw was just starting to be on your side agian and you let me down like this

jacob is beign an emo boi now jake go be a child @ home and stop this nonsense you’re not a man go be a chid and take a nap and eat some grilled cheese youkk feel better

now she told him she wants to kiss him wtf bella don’t kead this bitch on he’s already in pain let hom gp home and eat a grilled cheese

mow bella’ supsetti spaghetti because edwards know she kissed jake

this shit is so unenecasialr dramtic wht the fuck yall  like a whole army ofver one girl and then its like all everyboyd trying kill everybody this is bulshittheyre all children who should eb at home eating grileld chesses not at war

victoria is a real bitch lying to this boy telling hin she lvoes him hoe bitch

og shit efward ifs pissed now he’s tauntign ab ithc

i acutaly kinda fel bad for riley he wnet through so mcuh and was manipulated i wish the cullens could have adopted him and bree

oshit is the volutire 

SAM DONT FUCKUGN TALK TO LEAH LIKE THAT EVER AGIAN YOU HOE

CARLISE AND I REPEAT AGAIB IS HOT AS FUCK FUCK CARLISRL

I LITERALLY AHTE THE VOLTURIE FOR KILLIGN VREE THEY WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN

JASPER KNOWS WHATS GOOD HE DOESN’T TURST THESE HOES

I’M SO PISEED THAT THE CULLENS NEVER FUCKING IFHT THE VOLTURIE LIKE CARLISLES IS SMART AS FUCK AND EHS TILL WONT START A DEMOCRAY LIKE YALL KNOW ROSLAIE WOULDVE FOGUHT FOR THAT SHIT TOO

 I LVOE YOUDADY CARLISLE

THIS 16 YEAR OLD LYING UP HERE BECAUSE OF TE DUMBASS WAR I TOLD YALL TO GO GOEN AND EA A GRILELD CHEDWE

poor jakie he knows hed better good for her but she reallys loves eward jake deserved better than what he got reblog is youf agree he jst said he’s even love her after she’s a vamprie bruh go eat a grilled chease and love yourself

WERE BACK IN THE FUCKING MEADOW ITS LIT AND ITS LOVELY I WANNA FALL IN LOVE IN A MEADOW WITH A HANDAOME MYSTERIOUS MAN WHO LOVES ME UNCODNITONATLY

KIRSTNE STEQARD IS THE WBEST AND SHE DESERVED AN OSCAR FOR THIS MOVIE HER AND NIKKI REED AND NODBOYD ELSE

fianlly this bitch is gonna beh onest with chalrie took you long enough

that was an anticlamtnc ending but i love love

[pug-bitch]

That’s not why I’m staying (4)

Messes, and a small fire

Book: The Royal Romance, Book 2

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez

Rating: some foul language, some extremely suggestive, and a VERY steamy scene, right at the beginning (I guess I now start every chapter with some people getting it on :D). This is absolutely NOT appropriate for people under 18.

Word count: about 3,700 (Sorry for the absence of a Keep Reading option - I’m on mobile!)

Notes: This picks up where we left off, during Liv and Rashad’s date (pre-boeuf bourguignon), starting with Olivia’s POV. This chapter is slightly shorter than my usual ones, but I needed to have a shorter one to get myself back in the spirit of writing for pleasure. I’m sorry I’ve been MIA for a couple of weeks, my job is taking over, and writing is a big part of it, so opening a Word doc has been quite the scary experience. But I’m doing my best, and I intend to keep writing this series, because it makes me happy :) Thank you for sticking with me!!!

*****

Olivia’s lips find Rashad’s and capture them seamlessly. She feels him lean into her kiss, as he closes his eyes and lets out a quiet moan. Fuck, he’s sexy, she thinks. How had she never noticed before? Now she can’t get enough of him.

‘Fuck, Nevrakis,’ he sighs. ‘You’re so hot.’

She smirks and kisses him again, all the while unbuttoning his shirt. Rashad’s hands run down her spine, giving her chills as they do. They grab her ass firmly, and press her further against him. She can very clearly feel his hard cock under his pants. The mere thought of it makes her wet.

She can’t wait anymore. They had multiple makeout sessions, endless flirting, and a lukewarm sex session. She needs the real him, now, or else…

She grinds him more and more intensely, until they both can’t take it any longer. His right hand leaves her ass to find the spot under her dress, between her thighs, and he gently pulls her already wet panties onto the side. Breathlessly, she follows suit and unzips his pants, and quickly pulls down his boxers, finally freeing his big cock. He moans harder onto her kiss.

She can’t wait anymore. He teases her entrance with the tip of his cock, but she wants more, now.

Once he’s completely inside her, they both let out a low groan.

Finally, she thinks. That’s what she’s talking about.

*****

Liam can’t stop his eyelid from twitching. The collar of his white shirt is hurting his neck, suffocating him. He wishes he could just run away and never look back.

His encounter with Drake this afternoon did him a world of good. Finally someone listened to him, not in a fake way like Madeleine used to, when she was trying to seduce him with her pretend compassion.

He has his best friend back. They can count on each other again.

Madeleine is wearing a pre-bridal outfit — white everything. She looks so angelic, Liam himself has trouble believing that she really is a schemer, just from looking at her. But when he thinks back of their awkward, forced interactions… He shudders. No more thinking.

Leo pats him on the back. The two brothers smile at each other. They had a heart-to-heart earlier, and Leo perfectly understood that Liam can’t ask him to be best man, with the history that he and Madeleine share. It felt good to be supported, even by just two people.

Madeleine holds out her hand for Liam to take. Together, they walk onto the platform, surrounded by reporters and various representatives of the Cordonian press. King Constantine is already on the platform, and Liam can’t help but think that he hasn’t really seen his father in motion for a very, very long time. Can he even walk anymore? In any case, he’s good at concealing. If that’s what being a King means, well, Liam won’t be any good. He can feel the beads of sweat dangling over his brow.

His father gives him a curt nod. It’s time.

He clears his throat. ‘People of Cordonia. It is with great pleasure that I officially announce my engagement to Countess Madeleine of Fydelia.’ He turns to Madeleine and they offer each other their fakest smile. ‘We couldn’t be happier about the news, and we look forward to the upcoming festivities. In four days, this Friday, we will depart for our engagement tour, which will stop in Rome, then Paris, then London, finally culminating in a trip to New York City. With us, we will have the pleasure to welcome our wedding parties. Please, Lady Madeleine,’ he says as he turns to her.

She smiles and says, ‘My maid of honor will be Lady Kiara of Castelsarreillan. In my wedding party, I will be delighted to count my fellow former contestants Lady Penelope of Portavira, Duchess Olivia Nevrakis of Lythikos, Lady Hana Lee, and—‘ she pauses and Liam could swear she let a slight smirk show. ‘Lady Amara Suarez.’

The crowd lets out a slight gasp. Liam hurries with his list. ‘And my best man will be my longtime friend Drake Walker. In my wedding party, I am welcoming my brother, former Prince Leo, Duke Bertrand Beaumont of Ramsford, Lord Maxwell Beaumont of Ramsford, and Lord Rashad Domvallier.’ He takes a long breath. ‘Thank you, dear people of Cordonia, for your well wishes. We both wish you all the happiness we are experiencing ourselves, and to all a good night.’

*****

‘Well, I guess it’s official,’ Drake says as he turns off the TV. ‘We gotta do this thing.’

Hana nods as she takes a sip of her wine. ‘Yep. Just the thought of pretending to be helpful to that bitch is giving me hives.’

Drake has to chuckle at Hana’s swearing - he might never get used to it. ‘And I have to be Liam’s freaking best man. Which, like… it’s fine, of course I want to be there for him, but—‘ He trails off. Amara meets his eye.

‘You’re nervous about being in the spotlight,’ she finishes his sentence. He nods. She continues, rubbing Drake’s hand in support. ‘I know, me too, babe. But think about it. It’s for the best. We’ll be on the frontline, ready to pounce if Madeleine shows her hand in the slightest.’

Maxwell nods. ‘Exactly. We’ll be there for each other, too. Oh and, after these drinks, let’s all write our acknowledgements to Liam and Madeleine. That way, tomorrow, we can go to the cabin without a care in the world.’

Drake smiles earnestly. ‘I can’t wait. We all need it. You’ll see, Mike, it’s as calm as what we’ve seen of the coast today, but even more remote.’

Michael smiles excitedly. ‘I’m excited! I’ll take loads of pictures for Callie, she’s been asking about where we are. She’ll love that.’

Drake looks to Amara, who is smiling quietly, a sneaky tear in her eye. Without saying a word, Drake takes her hand again, and squeezes it. He knows how much she’s missed her niece. How badly she wants to be a part of her life again. Drake can’t help but imagine Amara’s family visiting Cordonia, coming to the cabin, having long dinners on the patio, overlooking nature… He may not have much of a family —it’s broken, it spans over two continents and three countries, it’s riddled with lies and unspoken things— but Amara makes him want to fix things. With her folks, with his… He wants their ducks to be in a row.

‘Guys,’ Maxwell whispers dramatically, ‘has anyone heard from Liv?’

This takes Amara out of her daydream, and she replies, ‘Oh, not at all. Let’s hope she’s too busy to text.’ She performs a theatrical wiggling of her eyebrows.

Hana joins in, ‘Maybe she’s just too tied up at the moment.’

Michael nods, a cheeky smile on his face, ‘Maybe she needs to remain on top of things.’

Maxwell, a proud look on his face, chimes in: ‘Maybe she can’t talk because her mouth is full.’

Everyone looks on in horror, until a collective roaring laughter takes over the silence.

‘Holy shit Max,’ Amara says, crying with laughter, ‘too far, honey!’

Michael wipes off a tear, ‘Jeez Maxwell, we were trying to be subtle over here!’

Maxwell shrugs. ‘I just wanted to be a part of it, guys.’

*****

‘Please Michael, go to bed,’ Maxwell waves him off. ‘You don’t need to do all this.’

Michael continues to carry plates from the living room to the sink. ‘No, I want to help! Drake cooked, Amara made the after-dinner drinks, I want to do my part.’ He pauses and makes a charming face at Maxwell. ‘Please.’

Max sighs. Why must they always meet like this, in the kitchen? All Maxwell has ever done in here is messes, and a small fire once —Bertrand still won’t let him use the oven—, but these days, he finds himself drawn to this space. This is where he puts plates together for his friends. Even though he can’t cook, he loves to entertain, and while he happily leaves the roasting and chopping to Drake, Maxwell loves preparing snacks and apéritif trays.

Not to mention the late-night cleanups. Which Michael always joins in on.

He chuckles and busies himself with the dishes. He told everyone else to go to bed, that he’s got it. Truth is, he was kinda hoping this would happen. People going upstairs to pack for tomorrow’s trip, and, if we’re being realistic, Drake and Amara probably going upstairs to get it on. Bertrand went to bed a while ago, as soon as he came home, and that leaves him here, now.

Dammit, he thinks. Why did the girls have to put these ideas in his head?

Well, once again, if we’re being honest, the ideas were already in there, but Maxwell was simply burying them under piles and piles of insecurity, laced with unwavering friendliness.

Maxwell had never been the one in charge before —no one trusts him with anything usually, see the kitchen fire anecdote—, but ever since Michael turned up, it had been Max’s pleasure to show him around, make sure he’s okay, and, most importantly, help him and Amara fix their relationship.

He knows Amara trusts him, and considers him like a brother, which is of course reciprocal. From the moment he told her about Savannah, and instead of judging him for keeping that secret from Drake, she helped him come clean, he’s known that she is a true friend.

So, if she herself is telling him that she sees something between him and Michael, could there be some truth to it?

‘Hey Max,’ Michael says softly, interrupting his incessant internal questions. ‘Is your brother ok?’

Maxwell smiles. ‘Yeah, Bertrand’s fine. He’s just stressed out. He found out that he’s part of the wedding party and needs to come on the Tour, and he’s like Drake in a way. He doesn’t like the spotlight.’

Michael nods. ‘I see. It’s crazy how different you guys are.’ He pauses. ‘I don’t mean that you love the spotlight or anything, but you’re just more...comfortable. In any situation. It’s really admirable, actually.’

Maxwell chuckles and turns back to his dishwashing so Michael can’t see that he’s blushing. ‘Oh, thanks, but it’s nothing, really.’ He bites his lip, annoyed at himself for not finding the right words. It used to be so effortless between them, why did the girls have to fill his head with stupid fantasies?

But Michael doesn’t seem to mind. He sits at the kitchen island and starts putting cookies back in their tins, slowly, one by one, as if he wanted to drag this moment for longer. ‘I’m serious,’ he adds. ‘It takes a lot of guts, and a lot of adaptability, to be able to navigate any social situation without too much anxiety.’

Maxwell turns around to grab another dirty dish. He meets Michael’s eye. ‘Well thank you, but I don’t think I navigate that well. Plus, I was born into it, I guess, so I have no merit. Amara, on the other hand…’

Michael laughs. ‘Yeah, Amara has always been good with people. She’s analytic, too, you know. She figures people out really quickly.’ He pauses and absentmindedly plays with a cookie. ‘Like with Drake. You said he was basically the broody type, right?’

Max smiles. ‘Yeah. Not much of a social butterfly, our Drake.’

Michael chuckles. ‘Right. But I don’t know, around her, he seems to light up. Around us too, actually, when I went on the tour with him this afternoon, he was all friendly and talkative.’

Max puts down the last dish and put the kettle on, without even thinking about it. ‘Yeah. He and I have known each other forever. His sister is one of my closest friends. But before Amara showed up, I don’t know, he didn’t really open up. His dad died ten years ago and he really closed off afterwards.’ Maxwell stops himself. Shit, he thinks. That was a really sensitive topic to tackle, why did he have to talk about death right now?

Michael gets up and sets up two teacups on the island. Maxwell joins him while the kettle does its thing. ‘Well, Amara had closed off, too, as you know,’ Michael responds. ‘Just punished herself. Became a different person. Look, it’s really simple, I hadn’t seen my Amara for two years. But the minute I came here and saw her with you guys, with Drake, I knew. She’s back.’

Maxwell smiles brightly. ‘That’s really beautiful. I like that idea —they found each other and allowed each other to be open again.’

‘Right. But not just the two of them. Amara loves you, and Hana, and Olivia, and Bertrand, too. This isn’t just about Drake and Amara’s love, although that’s the obvious part. It’s more than that, it’s a group effort. You all support each other in ways I didn’t know were possible for people who’ve only been friends for a few months. It’s quite beautiful.’

Maxwell lets the silence wrap them both up, until the aggressive sound of the kettle draws them from their rêverie.

*****

‘Guys, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!’ Drake yells out from the front door. He’s been ready to go for a while, but Amara is carefully reviewing her bags to make sure she didn’t forget anything. They woke up very early and had a nice breakfast all together—Hana made a frittata—, and now Drake is loading up his Jeep.

‘One second babe,’ Amara responds, ‘Maxwell and Hana are still upstairs.’

Bertrand comes out of his study, and unsnaps his reading glasses. ‘Well, Amara, I wish you a pleasant stay, and I shall see you on Thursday.’

Amara wonders how someone who is under 35 years old has reading glasses that snap in the front. And are tied by a string that goes around his neck. Even her dad wouldn’t wear that. ‘Bertrand,’ she says as she pats his shoulder, ‘are you sure you don’t want to come? We can take two cars, we’d love to have you come with us.’

He blushes. ‘No no, thank you very much for the invitation, Drake insisted too, but I shall get my affairs in order before the tour commences on Thursday. I didn’t expect to be a part of it, you see.’

Amara smiles. ‘If you’re sure. But please, if you change your mind, call us and join us, ok?’

He nods. ‘Will do. Enjoy yourself, please.’

She squeezes his shoulder and heads outside. ‘Drake, relax,’ she says as she rolls her eyes, ‘they’ll be right out.’ She smiles upon seeing Michael outside, already loading his duffle bag into Drake’s Jeep. ‘Well someone else is eager,’ she teases.

Michael smiles, his blue eyes sparkling. ‘I gotta say, this is super exciting. Living in the city doesn’t give you too many opportunities like this one.’ He hops into the backseat.

Amara throws her luggage in the back and settles into the front seat. ‘You know,’ she says to Michael, looking at him in the rearview mirror, ‘you don’t HAVE to live in the city. From what Dad tells me, you have plenty of offers in Philly, you could comfortably live in the suburbs.’

Michael’s smile falters a bit as he nods along. ‘Yeah. I know Callie would love to get closer to Grampie and Grammie. But--’ he interrupts himself and shakes his head. ‘I can’t bring myself to sell the apartment before I find a place that I can really feel at home in. That’s the only home Callie has ever known. I can’t uproot her unless I’m sure.’

Amara nods and stretches her hand towards the backseat, reaching Michael’s knee. ‘You’re right. Sorry. You know best, it’s not my place.’

He grabs her hand. ‘It’s ok. I know it sounds silly, but nothing has clicked yet. Jorge and I visited this beautiful townhouse in Bryn Mawr, which is perfect on paper. I don’t know, it just didn’t work for me, for some reason.’

‘Listen to yourself. To your gut,’ she says. ‘It’ll happen.’

‘Wooooo here we come!’ Maxwell yells out from the front door. ‘Hana, give me your bag!’

He throws both bags in the back and opens the door for Hana, who makes quick eye contact with Amara before saying ‘Oh Max, would you mind getting in the middle? If I’m not near a window I’m gonna get nauseous.’

Amara has to fight the urge to roll her eyes and giggle. Maxwell isn’t wrong --acting must be the one thing Hana sucks at.

‘Sure thing babe,’ Max responds. He gets in right next to Michael, who smiles at him softly.

‘Alright guys,’ Drake says excitedly. ‘Let’s gooooooo!’

*****

‘Father, is everything alright?’ Liam asks, his fingers still rattling the door to ask for permission to enter.

He is met with a faint sound, emanating from his father, who is lying down on his bed, eyes half closed.

He gets closer, his hands shaky. He’s never seen him like this. He knew he had gotten worse, he knew his cancer was terminal, but he didn’t know just how bad it was.

‘Father?’ he asks hesitantly.

‘Li--Liam, you shouldn’t be here, I asked for no one to disturb me today.’ He swallows, but it’s obvious that he’s in pain. ‘Please go.’

Liam gets closer to his father. He feels like crying, but he can’t. Firstly, because it would make his father feel badly. Secondly, because Constantine has never been one to encourage displays of emotion.

‘Father,’ he whispers without making eye contact. ‘Bastien sent for me. He said you told your nurse to leave, and that you refused to take your medicine. Leo and I are concerned. Tell me what happened.’

Constantine rolls his eyes and sits up with tremendous effort. ‘Liam, this is none of your business. If you must know, this medicine is not helping, my pain is unmanageable. Please keep this to yourself, we’re not here for a pity party. The monarchy is strong, don’t let anyone think otherwise.’ He looks his son up and down. ‘How are things with your betrothed?’

Liam feels a pang in his heart. That’s the only thing his father cares about, visibly, and he’s not about to make the situation worse by opening up. ‘Things are fine. I’m hesitant to go on the tour, though, and to leave you alone here.’

Constantine lets a rare smile show on his face. ‘Don’t stay here on my behalf. Go, do your duty. You will come back here after London and attend the Engagement Ball. I’ll be here.’ He nods decisively.

Liam lets out a long sigh. ‘Alright, Father, as you wish.’

*****

‘Welcome, everyone!’ Drake yells out with a smile, as he opens the front door.

Michael takes in the gorgeousness of the scenery, before grabbing his bag from the Jeep. He shouldn’t feel so relaxed and happy without his daughter around, right? But something feels right around here. No stress, obviously, since he has zero responsibilities, and loving, supportive people surrounding him.

A pang of guilt goes through his chest. He should call Callie. Ever since Sergio passed, it’s been the two of them, always together, getting each other through life. Of course, his parents and in-laws are awesome and always around, but at the end of the day, it’s the two of them, the Hansen-Suarezes.

Drake distributes the rooms. Amara stays with him in his original bedroom, Max and Hana share Drake’s younger sister’s, and Michael is allotted the master bedroom.

‘Make yourself at home, Mike,’ Drake says to him softly. ‘I’ll let you get situated, if you need anything, let me know.’

‘Thank you so much,’ Michael replies gratefully. ‘This is amazing. I’ll be down soon, I wanna check in with my daughter really quickly.’

Drake nods. ‘Of course. Amara and I will be downstairs preparing drinks and snacks.’

Michael puts his bag down and opens it. Most of the clothes inside are too formal, too lawyery, but he notices that Maxwell snuck a couple of outfits in there for him. A note is pinned to a pair of jeans.

They suit you better than they suit me. All yours! :)

Michael smiles warmly. Maxwell never ceases to be thoughtful. He’d have to remember to buy him something as a thank you. Drake could help him sneak out and pick something.

He picks up his phone and dials Jorge’s number. His father-in-law’s warm voice picks up.

‘Hi sweetheart. Is everything ok?’

‘Hi Jorge, I’m doing great, how are you?’

‘Great,’ he says, ‘we’re in the countryside at Drake’s cabin for a couple of days.’

‘Wonderful, dear, is Amara ok too?’

Michael smiles. ‘Doing great, Jorge. You can rest assured, she is very happy here.’

Jorge’s voice lights up. ‘That’s so good to hear.’ He pauses. ‘Callie, sweetie, it’s your daddy. Come chat with him for a bit.’

Michael feels himself regenerate as he talks to his daughter. The conversation is short, it basically revolves around how much she loved going to Dilworth Park with Grampie and Grammy, and how fun it was playing in the fountain. Michael hangs up with a light heart.

He was silly to feel like a bad dad, just because he felt relaxed without her. Ever since Callie was born, he has been a reliable and loving father, who managed to maintain as stable a life for Callie as he could, after Sergio’s death. He juggled all the grueling paperwork, the grief, and the parenting duties, making sure she had enough love, hugs, support, tenderness in her life.

If anyone was good at being a widower, it was Michael. It fucking ruined his life, but he handled it like a champ. Stable in the face of adversity. Always even, only letting his feelings overflow when it came to his sister-in-law, whose grief he could not handle too well.

He had been stable. But not happy.

Of course, Callie makes him happy. She’s the light of his life, and always will be.

But he’d been on autopilot.

Seeing Amara actually thrive as her life got ridiculous and out of control had been eye opening. Maybe he needed that, too. Just for a while.

*****

Taglist:

@drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @andy-loves-corgis , @jovialyouthmusic , @mariahschoices , @drakesensworld , @thequeenofcronuts , @notoriouscs , @drakewalkerisreal , @nikkis1983​ , @simsvetements , @alesana45 @iplaydrake @emceesynonymroll @lily1999love @silviasutton1989 @dcbbw @texaskitten30 @furiousherringoperatortoad @hollygirl1269 @sirbeepsalot @ladyangel70 @thisperfectmemory @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @mrsmairstanley @addictedtodrakefanfic @msjpuddleduck @kimmiedoo5 @furryperfectionlover @princessleac1

Thank you for your encouragements, everyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

[aka-indulgence]

Okay- so I'm not asking for much from my understanding, or really anything specific- I just would like a gay imagine for my female brain because having a soft male mc/reader with a nice husbando or a big heckin' tough-seeming monster wifeu to this smoll gf mc/reader. May you please grant this wish of mine to see any imagines you have involving the gays? If not- thank you for at least existing so that we can try to make each others days better and not so bleek.

(Going through inbox again!)

Anon I hope you’re still here because I love this ask, hell yea- And thank you for existing and sending this ask because ovo I too think that sounds, mm, pretty nice-

(So there was an ask similar to this asking what would be different in the fics if reader was male- but for the life of me I can’t freaking find it ;A;;; … So here’s more behsbesh)

For A Murderer in the Subway,

Yes, reader as a male is sof and smol, and the absolute love of Sans’ life. He’s small, he’s cute, and he’s soft to touch… (You) don’t think yourself as very… Masculine so to say… Fidgets with his hands a lot, fiddling with the hem of his shirt and shy, always hesitating to make the first move in a conversation or any other interaction, so to say. And Sans… Sans is the most fucking intimidating, uh… Man he’s ever met, tall, big, with enough strength to snap him like a twig if he wanted to. He wears a tie because of work, and what do you know, Sans likes that… In a scene like in chapter 3, Sans will most definitely play with it, tugging it and tightening it if only to watch him struggle more, but… Once Sans stops being a douchebag and stop, er… Touching him without him wanting it… Well-

Here you have the smol, sof boy of a human, with a crooked smile on him and the giant, don’t-ya-fuckin’-touch-my-lovely-husband monster of a skeleton behind him, cracking knuckles for anyone who tries to give shit to his sweet bf. Reader’s has been told he’s weak and that he’s spineless- for being so passive. He prefers to be passive- he doesn’t have… That much physical strength, and when you’re a guy in a city like this… They expect you to fight, and so he tries to keep as invisible as possible, so as to not look like a weakling. What does Sans say to that?

“so… ya can’t punch, huh? then i’ll just do the punching-”

“Sans, no!”

Sans wants the exact same thing as he does with female reader in the fic- a lot of affection, touching and holding him close, and fucking. He doesn’t hide the fact that he’s absolutely enamored with a human male… And when human-sourced stigma around the fact that a male monster is with a male human- reader will be worried and afraid the both will be attacked by rival gangsters and homophobic people alike- but he doesn’t have to worry. All Sans needs to do is to show how much he’s more… Capable in hurting them, possibly making a few permanent reminders of why not to bother the murderous, sharp toothed skeleton with the tiny human… It wouldn’t be a problem.

As for big scary wifey and smol gf…. Sans’ll wear the same exact clothes as she does as a guy, hoodie and shirt and pants with black shoes…

… She’s still the same, touchy, thirsty, kidnap-y skeleton as her male counterpart- difference being she’ll be less gropey, preferring to give many… Uncomfortably light touches, teasing and suggestive. Tugging at her clothes, a hand sliding down her back, playing with her hair, making her phalanges linger in a few places more than you’d like. Once everything calms down and like the other guy- learned not to be a jerk to the tiny scared thing reader is, you’ve got yourself a big scary wife who has a tiny gf she’ll protect with her life. Reader’ll be more easily, er.. ‘coaxed’ into her cuddles, Sans preferring to stay in bed a lot with her, giving lots of kisses to the face. She’ll give more teasing and suggestive comments and questions to you while giving those light touches, by the soft, squishiness of the human body.

Female Sans with reader when everything’s cleared up would have… A lot more talking than physical contact than male Sans when it comes to showing affection- though it’s still a big part of it. She’ll compliment you a lot, encourage you a lot, remind you how pretty and hot you are- and she’ll be snickering smugly when you turn into a blushing mess from all her words. “cute.” is her favorite phrase.

Like the gay couple above, female reader would be worried about discrimination, preferring to stay inside, and even Sans understands what could come, she’s female herself, and while she’s made a name for herself… She still remembers the shit some people give her for having the monster equivalent of having two X chromosomes- but she’s never have a problem with that, why should this be a problem? Anyone call you or her a freak or anything else-

“hey sweetheart, look who jus’ appeared in the ‘missing people’ list in the mornin’ news!”

“Sans- wait you didn’t-”

“whoops, that scum deserved it-”

[another-blog-bites-the-dust]

Not her type.

Summary: While hanging around on the set of the BoRhap movie, the four boys compete to try and get your attention...not knowing they aren't exactly your type.

Warnings: A few swears nothing major

A/N: MAN THIS IS FOR ALL THE GIRLS WHO LIKE GIRLS BECAUSE IM ONE OF THOSE GIRLS AND DAMN I DO LOVE LUCY SHE IS BEAUTFUL AND SO TALENTED AND THE LACK OF LUCY X READER FICS HURT MY LITTLE BI HEART SO I HAD TO WRITE A LITTLE SOMETHING. Enjoy 💖

"Y/N! I picked you up a coffee!" Gwilym grinned and handed you the takeaway cup before being pushed out the way by Rami.

"Yeah, well, I got you a triple chocolate muffin, Y/N," he smugly smirked and he handed you the little brown paper bag.

You smiled, a little overwhelmed "Oh wow! Thanks! You really didn't have to do that."

"Hey Y/N!" Gwilym and Rami lowly growled hearing Joe's voice. "Oh!" He paused with a hand behind his back and pulled out some flowers like he was performing a magic trick. "What's this?" He handed them to you and you suddenly realised how full your hands were so held them close to you with your arm.

"Joe! They're gorgeous! Thank you!" You grinned. "I need to go and find my dad, 'scuse me!" You lightly bowed your head to and headed off.

The three boys watched you walk away before glaring at each other. "What do you think you're doing?" Gwilym snapped at the both of them. They were currently on set, about six months into filming Bohemian Rhapsody and the four boys were all competing for your attention and affection. They all had developed a crush on you.

"I'm just being the kind and generous self I am," Joe replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "I mean...flowers beats coffee and muffins any day," he smugly smirked, giving Rami the side eye.

Rami gasped "I think you'll find that flowers only bring short term delight- oh wait," he placed his finger on his chin in feigned thought "It makes so much sense now why you bought them." He teased and Joe huffed, crossing his arms. "Whereas a muffin satisfies lots of cravings."

"You're really weird, Malek..." Gwilym uttered.

"Coming from the guy that's trying to get with her while dressing like her dad?" Joe retorted. Gwilym rolled his eyes- flirting with you dressed as Brian probably wasn't the best idea he had.

"She prefers blondes," the three groaned hearing a cocky voice come out of nowhere. Ben tapped Joe's shoulder while joining the group. "Watch and learn boys- there isn't many that can resist my charm."

You arrived back on set after putting the stuff the boys got you in your dressing room and began chatting with your dad, he was discussing how much he was enjoying the whole experience. You grinned and gave him a side hug. "I'm happy you're happy, dad. I'm sure uncle Fred would have loved this too."

Brian shook his head with a small smirk "He'd be up there on that podium showing everyone up," he chuckled and then sadly smiled "I wish he could have been here to see it."

You tightly smiled and squeezed his arm "I'm sure he is," you softly whispered. "Anyway, I'll let you see the producer and catch up with you in a bit!" He nodded and you both went your separate ways. You felt someone tap you arm and you turned seeing Ben there. "Ben! Hey!"

He opened his arms and you have him a hug and a peck on the cheek, Ben stuck his tongue out at the three boys who flipped him off behind your back. "How are you?" Ben asked as he pulled back, still holding your arms with his hands.

"Good! How are you?" You asked with a grin. All the boys were so friendly and kind to you, hugging and pecking them all on the cheeks was a normal thing to do.

"I'm great," he licked his lips slightly- he knew it would be hard to resist that. "I was wondering...are you busy tonight? We could get some drinks after filming?" He suggested.

"Ah! I can't!" Ben's small, flirty smile fell. "Dad's invited me over to his for dinner!" He nodded understandingly "Hey! Why don't you come along?" His face instantly lit up. He was back in the game. "Dad won't mind!" You turned around "You all want to come around at say...seven?" Ben's smile dropped- that was not the way it was supposed to go.

Ben awkwardly chuckled "Uh...Y/N-"

"Sounds perfect!" Joe cut him off with a tight grin, pissing Ben off at how smug he was being.

"Great! See you boys then!" You chirped and left them to get organised for their scene.

Ben loudly groaned and took the boys teasing laughter on the chin. "I was so close! I'm telling you- it's me she likes the most!" He told them, full of confidence.

"In your dreams, Ben," Rami chortled. "Let's see what happens at dinner tonight, shall we?" The four boys were called to the makeup trailer while you spent most of the day hovering beside your dad.

"I invited the boys to dinner tonight- is that alright?" You asked him.

Brian blinked from behind his glasses "Course! Did you invite Lucy too?"

You laughed "Yes! That's the whole reason why we where having dinner in the first place!" You nudged his arm "Don't embarrass me in front of them all tonight."

"Hmm..." he pretended to think about it.

"No!" You laughed. "Don't!"

"I'm a dad- it's my job to embarrass you!" Brian chuckled.

You loudly groaned "Uncle Roger!" You whined, knowing he'd stick up for you. "Dad's going to embarrass me...again!"

Roger placed his arm around your shoulder "It's not too late for me to adopt you and become a Taylor!" He laughed and Brian rolled his eyes at the pair of you. "Don't you embarrass the poor girl, Bri." You smirked, victorious. "I'll come to dinner and help you out."

The two men loudly laughed as you groaned "You're both doing it right now! God! I'm going to get another coffee!" You couldn't help but smile. You spotted the four boys and sent them a small wave- they all waved back and then debated between themselves.

"She was waving at me." Gwilym said.

Rami shook his head "Nope- she waved at me!"

Joe blew a raspberry "Oh please, she was looking at me and waved."

Ben rolled his eyes "Sure thing- keep telling yourselves that. You all know she was waving at me."

•••

Gwilym knocked on the door, he was a bit early but he wanted to get to Brian's house for dinner before the rest of the boys. He had a bunch of flowers and wine in his hand and just about managed to hit his knuckles off the door, disregarding the bell. You opened it and Gwilym's face was taken over by a huge smile. "Hi, Y/N!"

"Hey, Gwil!" He bent down slightly and kissed your cheeks "Come on through!" He handed you the flowers and wine "Thank you! They're gorgeous! I'll put these with Rami's!"

Gwilym blinked "H-He-Rami is here? Already?" He asked, wondering if he had picked that up right.

"Yeah! Only arrived about ten minutes before you- Ben has been here for about twenty." 'Bastards' Gwilym thought to himself but didn't let his smile falter.

"Oh that's great," it was a good job he was an actor- he would have received an Oscar for that fake enthusiastic line alone. Gwilym walked through to the sitting room where Rami and Ben were already there chatting with Brian- they were trying to avoid eye contact with Gwil when he walked in. "Hello, boys..." he gritted out before genuinely smiling at Brian. "Hey, Brian," they shook hands before Gwil sat down.

"Gwil, darling," you placed a hand on his shoulder and looked up to you with a smile "Can I get you a drink? Beer? Wine?"

"Wine is great thanks," he tapped your hand before you went to the kitchen. Gwilym looked to the other two who were glaring at him. That didn't happen to them.

The doorbell rang just as you handed Gwilym his glass "I'll get it!" You grinned and answered it. "Hey Joe! Love the flowers!" The three boys sighed and subtly rolled their eyes. Of course he'd being you more. "I'll put them with everyone else's." Joe walked through to sitting room and just as you fetched him a drink, the door went again. The boys all furrowed their brows, they didn't know anyone else was coming.

"Hi!" They could hear Lucy's distinctive voice float into the sitting room and they all let out a collective sigh of relief- she wasn't a threat to them. "How's things?"

"Good! I love your dress! I'm so glad you could make it!" You grinned and hugged her before she took off her jacket and scarf. "I'll fix you up your favourite!" You winked "Go on through- dad's in the sitting room with the boys." You squeezed her arm and she walked into where everyone was while you went to the kitchen to make her a gin and tonic and check on dinner.

"Hi Lucy!" The five of them all greeted at the same time when she walked in.

"Hi everyone! So good to see you all!" She didn't get the chance to sit down as you called everyone to the table. The four boys pushed and nudged each other as they tried to get a seat either side of you. Brian was at the top of the table and Lucy, Joe and Gwil sat on one side while you sat on the other with Ben and Rami. You and Lucy were in the middle of the two boys which also meant that you were directly across from her. You bumped your foot against hers and she sent you a shy smile across the table. It was reassuring to her knowing you were right there if she needed you.

"So Y/N," Joe shifted in his seat "I've gotta get you to the bar for karaoke sometime!"

You laughed and so did your dad. "There's a reason why she's a writer and not a singer, Joe." Brian chortled and you shot your dad a small glare. "Nails down a chalkboard sound better than she sings..."

"Thanks, dad..." you shook your head with a small smile on your face. "But he has a point, Joey." Joe shot the boys a cocky grin as if to say 'She gave me a nickname- ha ha!' "I'm an awful singer!"

Ben cleared his throat a little "We should check out that exhibition at the," he clicked his fingers trying to think on the spot "The Shard!" He said a little too loud when he remembered. "It's really great! Gets smashing reviews and I hear the restaurant is fantastic- views over London, apparently very romantic!" The three boys rolled their eyes at Ben's blatant attempt at trying to flirt.

You grinned and nodded before turning back to Lucy and softly smiling finding her already looking at you with rosy cheeks. Her fingers were playing with the stem of her glass and her lips parted ever so slightly and then shut before she spoke- you loved watching her think about what she was trying to say. It was like watching a renowned artist paint something in front of your eyes it was such a masterpiece. All her little quirks were. "I was thinking we could see that play you've been talking about? What do you think, Y/N?"

"Sounds amazing! We should go this weekend!" You suggested and she nodded, taking a sip of her drink.

"If you want to see a show, I have a friend that's in a sold out run of 'Hamlet', Y/N. I can ask them for tickets and we could go together next week?" He felt Joe's, Rami's and Ben's eyes burn into him.

"Sure! Sounds good, I'd love to see it." You took a sip of your wine, lightly choking on it when you felt Lucy's leg brush against yours. She sent you a playful smirk from behind her glass and you couldn't help but blush- of course one of the four boys thought they had done that to you. After dinner they all had to head home, filming was starting early tomorrow and they needed their rest. You brushed your fingers up Lucy's arms giving her goosebumps- no one thought anything of it. It was a small sign of affection but it meant so much more to her. "Still up for the cinema tomorrow night?" You asked.

"Course! Wouldn't miss it for the world!" She looked over and found the boys staring at you. "They're looking again...I told you! This is the billionth time I've caught them doing it."

Your heart skipped a beat at her jealous tone, it made you slyly grin. "You have nothing to worry about." You whispered so only she heard you. "You're cute when you're jealous."

"Oh be quiet you!" She giggled and nudged you. "Can I see that top you were telling me about before we leave?" She suggestively raised her brows a little to try and make you understand what she was trying to say. She wanted a moment alone with you.

You nodded, catching on and grabbed her hand "Just showing Lucy something! She won't be a minute!" You smiled and dragged her up the stairs.

Brian quirked a brow at the four boys when they all turned to him after following you with their eyes as you hurried upstairs. "Can you be honest with us, Brian?" Rami asked and Brian gingerly nodded. "What one of us has a better chance with Y/N? I'd personally say me but-"

"Course you would," Ben cut him off "Brian, sir, I would take such good care of your daughter she were to date me."

Gwilym scoffed "Sure thing, drummer boy..."

"You all don't have a chance- we all know she likes me best. Even gave me a nickname..." Joe proudly grinned.

They all groaned "I knew you were going to bring that up!" Ben uttered.

The boys then got into a bit of a spat and it was up to Brian to break it up. "In all fairness boys...I don't think any of you are her type." They all stopped bickering and furrowed their eyebrows at the guitarist.

"Wait!" You softly giggled and pulled Lucy back towards you again by the wrist. "Lipstick..." you wiped some of your lipstick off her bottom lip with your thumb. "You suit that shade..." you grinned and stroked her face with your fingertips.

Lucy kissed your palm "Give me more then," she purred and pressed her lips to yours before slowly pulling back and then winking "I'm glad I saw that top..." she cheekily grinned and squeezed your hip slightly, you began blushing furiously. "See you tomorrow," she pecked your lips again "I'll text you when I get home." You nodded and then headed back downstairs. "You boys ready to go?"

They all hummed and flung on their coats, still wondering what Brian meant. You and your dad bid your goodbyes and you shut the door over behind them. "Oh no!" You gasped "Lucy left her scarf!"

"If you're quick you might catch them before they leave the street," Brian motioned for you to go and you hurried out the door and down the front steps.

"Guys!" You yelled out and jogged to catch up with them. They all turned around with hopeful smiles on their faces thinking one of them was in luck. "Lucy- your scarf!" Her hands went up to her bare neck and she gasped suddenly feeling the cold biting away at it. "Good job I caught you!" You smiled and wrapped it around her "Wouldn't want you getting a cold!"

"Thank you!" She sweetly smiled, lovingly gazing into your eyes. You were so taken aback by her beauty and facial features in the fluorescent orange streetlights that you forgot the boys were there. Her eyes were twinkling just as much- if not more than- the stars above. Her lips were curved just enough that her smile reached those sparkling eyes of hers. You used her scarf to pull those lips to yours- she gasped feeling the sudden contact of your warm lips on her cold ones.

She wasn't the only one that gasped. The four boys stared at the pair of you with eyes as wide as saucers and gaping mouths. "Get home safe, I love you." You murmured and then pulled back. "Bye guys! Take care! Tell me when you get home!"

You gave Lucy another peck and she hummed in delight "Bye, I love you too." She kept her eyes on you- making sure you were safely in the house before she turned and made her journey home with the four boys who were still frozen on the spot with shock. When she was a few yards ahead she turned around and raised a brow with a sly smirk on her face. "Are you guys coming or what?" They dumbly nodded and managed to utter out a 'yes' each.

Joe was then suddenly hit with a wave of realisation after they walked Lucy back home. "'Not her type'," he hit his head "I get it now!" The three others shared a glance and then laughed between themselves.

"I was right though," Ben spoke up and the three looked at him with a raised brow. "She prefers blondes."

———————–————

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[myherowritings]

PART 5. THE INHERENT EROTICISM OF BUTTONING SOMEONE’S CLOTHES

SUMMARY. Todoroki Shouto was a wealthy, young CEO who inherited his father’s enterprise. You were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. One day, Shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. To your surprise and complete pleasure: It was not.

PAIRING. ceo!todoroki shouto x barista!reader

WORD COUNT. 3.0k

GENRE. ceo/barista au, fluff, eventual smut

WARNINGS. sexual tension !! and umm sexual frustration ;p, not explicit but prob rated 16+, just read the title of this chapter BAHAHA

A/N. sorry this is coming a little later than planned ! :( but i hope the dressing room scene can make up for it u.u tysm for reading and for all the feedback! enjoy :3 xx sof

SERIES MASTERLIST

© myherowritings — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, copying, or translating of any kind is not allowed. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

What were you supposed to wear to a shopping date? you asked yourself. Not that today was a date or anything. Though maybe you sort of wished it were… 

The Naruhata Charity Gala was in a little over a week and Shouto would be coming over to pick you up in less than one hour and you still sat in your room with nothing but a towel on feeling more and more hopeless. 

It was a strange dilemma. He met you in your work apron wearing an unflattering work shirt and work pants. And when you met up over the weekend previously, you never paid too much mind on what you would wear. In fact, you were positive he wouldn’t even care how you looked. So why was it such a big deal to you now? 

Probably because of your recent admission of your growing feelings towards him, you thought crossly. 

In your defense, it wasn’t like it was your fault! Right? Seeing someone everyday… Wanting to see someone everyday… Texting regularly about the most random things, having the most banal objects you saw throughout the day remind you of something Shouto did or said… With all those occurrences it would’ve been practically impossible to not start crushing on him! 

Time passed as you stared at your ceiling blankly. If you kept this up, he was bound to show up in your house and find you half-naked. (Now that you mentioned it, that didn’t sound like the worst idea. But it wasn’t something you’d randomly spring upon someone.)

“Get up, Y/N!” you scolded yourself, rolling off your bed and heading towards your closet. 

In the end, you ended up settling for another variation of your usual go-to outfit and called it a day. It happened to be perfect timing since, by the time you finished getting ready, you got a new message on your phone. 

Shouto: Parked in front of your place

Shouto: Sorry I’m a little early. You can take your time getting ready :)

Y/N: it’s okay i’m ready now!! 

After hitting send, you put your shoes on, gathering your belongings you wanted to bring with you, and headed out the door. Excited to hang out with Shouto again, you walked with a skip in your step down the path until you reached his car. 

“Hi!” You waved through his half-opened, tinted window. To no one’s surprise, his car was a sleek black color with dark, tinted windows, and gold details along the sides. If it didn’t look so oddly sexy you would’ve laughed at how cutely dorky he was for matching his car with his credit card. “This is one hot car.”

He turned his head to the side when you entered the passenger’s seat. “Should I turn the AC higher?” 

“Huh— Oh!” You stifled a giggle when you processed the pun he made. “You’re funny, Shouto.” 

He only looked a little confused. “Thank you.” 

The interior of his car was no less—for lack of better term—sexy than the outside. Leather seats, a large screen for the radio and carplay, and the dashboard and side doors lit up a nice blue color. 

“Pretty!” you complimented, poking at the colorful light.

“Want to pick a color?” 

Your eyes widened. “It can change colors?!” 

Shouto nodded.

“Can it be pink?” you asked intently. 

“Light pink or hot pink?”

“Light.”

He swiftly obliged and with a hit of a touchscreen button, the interior lighting changed from blue to pastel pink. 

“Green!”

It turned green.

“Orange!”

Cue the orange. 

“Purple?” 

Purple. 

Once you were thoroughly satisfied with Shouto showing you the whole color selection (you were almost embarrassed to admit it kept you entertained for a good ten minutes), you settled on a bright turquoise that reminded you of the color of his left eye. 

“Ooh, this color! My favorite,” you said simply, giving him a wide smile. 

A faint blush dusted his cheeks as he developed a sudden interest in adjusting his rearview mirror. “Hm.”

Shouto drove the rest of the way in a comfortable silence, occasionally asking how your week was outside of work and what type of outfit you wanted to wear so he could have a better idea on where to take you. 

“Did you eat?” he suddenly asked when he hit the next stoplight, one hand holding the wheel and the other resting comfortably on the gear shift. 

His hands looked nice and slender and soft to the touch. Pretty hands, you thought but shook yourself out of it because you could go down a rabbit hole of examining his hands and going into detail about them. 

You remembered the single, measly granola bar you had due to your rush getting ready. “I didn’t really eat yet, no. Did you?”

He shook his head and pulled into a food plaza with lots of stores to choose from. The two of you agreed on a noodle restaurant that apparently had some of the best cold soba (once you learned it was his favorite food, you wanted to be able to have some with him and today was the perfect opportunity to do just that) and promptly headed to the location. 

In the shop, a waiter sat the two of you down at a dimly lit booth with the perfect amount of ambience that if someone were to casually look over, they might even mistake this outing as a date. 

You grinned at the thought. 

“Excited for the soba?” asked Shouto, examining the smile on your face thoughtfully. 

That’s not why you were smiling, but it was close enough. “Mhm. And the udon. You can never go wrong with noodles!” 

Yes, you got both udon and soba. But in your defense, where else would the fun in life be if not in sugary sweets and carbs? 

As the two of you waited for your main dishes, you ate some fish cakes and edamame while talking about the ways in which capitalism could be dismantled. Rather sexy of him, if you did say so yourself. 

Before you knew it, you were done with your meal and headed back into his car to go fancy-people shopping. On the remainder of the ride, you asked yourself what color you should pick that would match well with both you and Shouto. After all, nothing said a cute couple who totally liked each other going on a totally real date to a gala like color-coordinated outfits, right?

He parked in front of a street of buildings with a dark glass reaching from ceiling to floor with security guards at the door. Just standing near it made you feel fancy. 

“This is a place my sister told me she liked,” he said, leading you to the store front with his hand on the small of your back to guide you. “I hope you’ll find something to your liking.”

You tried your best not to pay too much attention to the warmth you felt both on your back and your stomach from the fuzzy feelings that spread. 

“Hello, welcome!” the both of you were greeted as you walked through the doors. The interior of the store was lined with designer dresses, some long, some short, and all incredibly stunning. There were only a few other patrons in the store, but all of them looked so elegant as they tried on their dresses. “It’s so lovely to see you again Mr. Todoroki.”

Shouto nodded subtly. “Hello. This is Y/N, my date to the gala who’ll need your assistance today.”

“Hi!” you chimed in at his cue. “Nice to meet you.” 

The worker smiled and made her way over to you. “And you as well. I’m Masuda and I’ll do my best to make sure you leave the store satisfied with your purchase! Did you have a particular style or perhaps color in mind?”

“Umm,” you said sheepishly, looking around the wide variety of clothings and unsure where to start. “I’m not too sure. It’s my first time going to one of these things so maybe something comfortable, but also still...fancy?” You scratched the back of your neck. “Does that even exist?”

“Of course— Just have to find something that feels comfortable to you.” She told you to hold on one moment as she disappear into the rows of fabric. 

As Masuda collected some starter dresses for you to try on, a customer walked by with bags of clothes in her hands, her gaze lingering on Shouto, though neither of you paid her much mind. 

“In this setting, you look almost fit to be a sugar daddy,” you said jokingly, looking around in awe at the sophisticated yet lavish dresses. “You take all your sugar babies here?”

“Only the ones I really like,” he teased back. His voice was deadpan but there was the telltale hints of a smirk on his face to let you know he was only messing with you.

The door chimed to signal that a customer left and by then Masuda had returned with bundles of fabric draped on her arm. She led you away in a hurry and you hesitantly looked back at Shouto who followed in a safe distance. Seeing your moment of panic, he gave you an encouraging smile that somehow was enough to ease a significant fraction of your nerves. This may be new and confusing territory, but at least he was here to help you through it. 

Masuda set a dressing room up for you—it was one of those rooms in the middle of the store with curtains that reached the ceiling and mirrors all around—and placed a bunch of outfits she thought would suit your taste. It reminded you of when a bride would go wedding dress shopping with their family. When you had enough outfits for the first round, she told Shouto to sit down on a leather seat in front of your dressing room while he waited for you to try the different dresses on. 

In a way, it felt oddly intimate: Shouto sitting just a few feet in front of you as you undressed, only separated by the veil of a curtain. Would he offer to help button the back of your dress up, fingers brushing against your bare skin? The thought made you feel almost hot inside as you changed out of your street clothes and into the first dress. 

Unfortunately for you, this dress had no such difficult buttons to reach. 

“How’s it look?” you asked shyly as you emerged from the dressing room. 

The dress was pretty and didn’t feel uncomfortable to walk in, but there wasn’t any sort of attachment you felt towards it. In other words, it was simply...meh. 

Shouto looked up from his phone to take in the sight of you. He smiled. “You look amazing as always.” 

“You think so?” You spun around and curtseyed jokingly and he chuckled. “I don’t think it’s bad, but I’m not sure if it’s the right one.” 

“We’ll be here until you find the right one you want, then. Take your time, Y/N.” 

His voice was normally on the deeper side, but it sounded even more sensual and gravelly at this very moment. You felt goosebumps on your arms and it wasn’t just because of the sleeveless dress you currently had on. 

“T-Thanks, Shouto,” you murmured, turning around and walking back into the changing room to hide the look on your face. You didn’t even know what kind of look you had on your face, but you knew it was one that might give too much away. 

It wasn’t fair that he had to be so sweet and caring and thoughtful and handsome and rich… Most guys you met barely fit into one of those criteria, let alone all five. (Sure, the last two weren’t necessary in your opinion, but you couldn’t deny they were a nice bonus.) It was too bad you had no clue how he felt about you. 

There were moments where he felt flirty and teasing, like maybe he viewed you in a more-than-friends way. But other times he was so polite and proper and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was just being nice because that’s simply the sort of person he was to everyone. 

While you were trying to sort through all your thoughts, you completely forgot to change into a new dress the whole time you were in here. 

You saw a shadow at the floor of the curtain before a voice said, “Y/N? Are you okay in there?” 

Jumping at the sound, you scurried to put the next dress on, a blue one with almost translucent fabric and a delicate neckline. Judging from the proximity of Shouto’s voice and the shadow of his shoes, he was right next to you as you changed. 

“I’m okay!” you managed, hoping you didn’t sound as wobbly as you felt. You held the dress closed at the back, fumbling with the fastens. “I just, ah, needed help buttoning this one up.” 

A light ruffle on the curtain then a pause. “Should I...come in and help?” 

Your eyes widened, not expecting him to actually offer to button it up like you fantasized earlier. You fully thought he might called the worker to aide you just so he wouldn’t risk making you uncomfortable. (Not that he would’ve. At all.) 

“I apologize,” he said somewhat tensely after you didn’t respond. “That was indecent of me—”

“No, no!” you said profusely, poking your head out of the curtain while holding the fabric at the front of your dress to your chest. You tilted your chin to meet his gaze with a determined one of your own. “I’d love your help, Shouto.” 

With a dusting of pink coloring his cheeks, he nodded and entered your dressing room. “This dress is a nice color on you.” His voice was loud against the silence. 

Shouto ran his hand down the length of your spine and then up to unfold the column of buttons on your dress that curved inwards at your movement, his knuckles grazing against your skin like lightning striking water. You jolted at the sudden feeling but he didn’t remove his touch when he felt it.

“Sorry.” His voice was low, almost like a whisper. “Was just getting the buttons out.”

“N-No worries!”

His fingers began working on the bottom-most button at your lower back as he applied a steady pressure on the base of your spine to control the motion. Shouto slowly began his way up, fingertips cold to the touch. But you knew that wasn’t the only reason you felt yourself shiver. As he fastened the dainty buttons with immense concentration (much more concentration than was actually needed to fasten buttons, you were sure), you felt the heat of his breath tickling the back of your neck. You almost couldn’t keep yourself from arching your back in a mixture of anticipation and delight at his constant touch. 

When he finished the last button, Shouto let one hand rest on your hip, grasping the fabric between his fingertips to examine its silken texture. Your breath caught in your throat as you stepped back and bumped into his chest, but he was already there to steady you. 

With his arm on your waist and your back leaning against his chest, you made eye contact through the mirror in front of you. You weren’t sure if the pounding you felt was from your heart or his or a combination of both. 

There was something almost erotic about holding each others’ gaze in the mirror after Shouto just helped you dress, the two of you still not letting the other go despite the task being complete. 

“The dress… You look gorgeous,” he said, not taking his eyes off you for one moment. 

You nodded slowly. It did look amazing on you. And it was breathable and soft. (Plus, Shouto liked it, which made you happier than you’d care to admit.) “The only downside would be I need help getting into it.”

“We could get ready together so it’s no issue.” 

“I’d...also need help getting out of it.” 

You held your breath as his eyes darkened, his grip on your waist tightening ever so slightly in a way that made you curve your back before you remembered you were flush against Shouto and he could feel even the most subtle of movements coming from your body. But by the time you stopped yourself, it was too late. He already felt it and you wanted more.

His voice was hoarse. “I could help you with that too.”

Instead of beginning to unbutton the dress like part of you thought he would, he surprised you by spinning you around to face him, your shoulder blades pressed against the cool glass of the mirror and your palms lingering on the muscles of his warm chest. The contrast of the cold glass and Shouto’s body heat left a shiver down your spine.

“And how do you plan to help take off my dress when you can’t even see the buttons?” you said challengingly, a smirk on your face despite knowing full well your body was showcasing just how affected you were by this situation. By Shouto.

He tilted his head to the side in response to your daring tone, hands swiftly finding their way to your back and unbuttoning the top five buttons. It wasn’t enough to completely expose your breasts, but it was enough to loosen the fabric at the neckline in a way that made you gasp. 

“Seems doable to me,” he commented. 

You tugged him down slightly by the collar of his shirt. “I don’t quite believe you. Maybe you should prove it.” 

A guttural noise sounded from the back of his throat as he cupped your jaw and leaned in closer. You inched forward, eager to meet his lips. But before they could touch, a knock came from the wall next to the curtain, causing the two of you to freeze in your spots, bodies pressed against each other in an intimate flush.

“Hello, Y/N?” said Masuda cheerfully, blissfully ignorant about what was about to happen in a public dressing room in the middle of the store. “How are the dresses coming along? Did you like any?”

“Ah, actually…” you trailed off, exchanging frustrated but amused glances with Shouto. “I think we’ll take this one.”

a/n: so...mirror sex/sex in a dressing room as a bonus chapter? u.u why yes of course. i’m one step ahead; did u even have to ask? LMAO and hm i wonder if y/n’s fEeLiNGs~ are reciprocated skfkfkdg ALSO THEY WERE SO CLOSE TO KISSING BUT DIDN’T I CRY hopefully the wait will be worth it ;3

what to expect in the next part:

GALA TIMEEEE

yes y/n finally gets the fancy candy they so desired

we get to see shouto’s sexy penthouse

shouto says eat the rich >:c

[robinskalechip]

home - chapter thirteen

robin buckley x reader

a/n: this one’s a tough one, also idk why i keep putting “x reader” even though i’m literally inserting a whole character into stranger things but oh well

warnings: homophobia, death, suicidal themes, language, smoking, drugs, abuse, blood, alcohol

masterlist

not my gif!

this chapter is mainly revolved around sofia

chapter thirteen - your love terrifies me

sofia was laying on the couch, eyes closed, completely unaware of the physical constructs around her

robin felt concerned “how exactly does this work”

mike turned to her “basically el will be able to see some of her most emotionally draining events from her life and then the last one is supposed to be her current biggest fear”

eleven was sat in front of the television with her blindfold on, concentrating

everyone around watched in anticipation

robin was internally acknowledging how sweet sofia was. she knew she didn’t talk about her past but the fact that she was about to make herself vulnerable for the sake of el made her feel warm.

the tv began to trip out as it rapidly switched from channel to channel on its own until stopping. on the screen, everyone could see a house its all from el’s point of view as she walks through it all

steve seemed a bit taken back and robin took notice, “that’s her house, well, her old house”

on the screen a car drove up, it was sofia’s car

a young sofia exited the car, dufflebag in hand. she was wearing a hawkins high track uniform and a varsity jacket.

the sixteen year old sofia walked into her home as el quickly followed behind

a man and a woman sat on a couch together, looking at the girl angrily

the man spoke “che diavolo c'è di sbagliato con te”

everyone was confused except robin. steve turned to her and asked what he said.

“he asked her what was wrong with her”

the man continued as the woman next to him looked at her feet, “jarod chiamato. mi ha raccontato di te e di maria”

robin translated, “he got a call from a guy named jarod and he told him about sofia and some girl named maria”

steve helped her understand “maria was her best friend, she went to boarding school a little after sofia left”

sofia looked scared “wait wait it’s not what you think-“

the man got up and walked towards the young sofia and slapped her across the face, making her head turn. el could see her face, her face now red and her eyes watering as the man began to push her towards the door, the woman getting up and following behind

he pushed sofia down the few steps of the front porch, leaving her on the grassed area with her dufflebag now on the ground as she began to cry and begged “per favore, lasciami spiegare”

robin was getting teary eyed “she wants to explain”

the man grabbed a bag from the house and threw it to sofia “tua mamma ti ha fatto una valigia”

“her mom packed her a bag”

the woman slowly peaked around the man to look at sofia as she cried out “mamma, per favore” barely able to get out the words as she was so choked up on her tears

the man and the woman closed the door and el approached it but when she entered out of the other side, it wasnt the living room she had just been in, it was a night club.

music was booming from all areas of the room a gay club yall

el turned slightly to see sofia approaching the door she had just gone out of in a tee shirt and jeans and the same dufflebag she had previously.

as she got someone near her to light her cigarette, she walked out of the door as el began to follow her down the new york night time street.

a group of three men walked past sofia to then look up at the building she had just exited

“HEY”

another man began to shout “HEY DYKE”

sofia turned around to see the same man screaming at her “you work here?”

they were all clearly intoxicated so she turned back and went on with her night before she felt a hard mass hit her head.

the men began to beat her as she fell to the ground. they did not quit until police sirens could be heard and they ran off

el ran to the girl as she saw blood coming from her mouth and a large cut on her head

robin looked at the cut on her forehead, remember the scare she noticed on her while she slept

paramedics arrived at the scene and gently took sofia

el looked up to see a woman in a large coat watching the whole scene unravel while smoking a cigarette before redirecting her attention to the now shut doors of the ambulance

she went and opened the doors to then find herself in a hospital

the woman she had previously seen watching the scene was entering the building to then approach the front desk and be directed to room 504

el followed the woman to then which hear their conversation

“can i help you?”

“my name is natalie illuminous”

sofia chuckled “illuminous? what kind of last name is that?”

“the kind that can save you from all of the shit and piss you have to deal with on the daily”

sofia adjusted herself to where she was sitting up straighter as she asked “pardon?”

“i’m a mother of a house. every week i take myself and my children to balls and we showcase our beauty in order to obtain trophies. in exchange i provide shelter, food, water, and everything else you’ll ever need”

sofia looked at her confused, “and that applies to me how?”

“i’ve seen you. more than on one occasion. you live in your car, you work for lauren at the club, you’re known for your beautiful smile and you’re somehow always so nice to everyone you meet” the woman stepped closer “i’m going to go pay the bills for all of this, while you think about whether you want to be living in a large apartment that you get to live in for just walking a few minutes...or if you want to stay living out of your car for the rest of your life”

the woman walked out, leaving sofia in a confused gaze. she was almost convinved she was drugged.

robin turned to the unconscious sofia on the sofa and saw a slight smile on her face.

el followed the woman as she exited the hospital room and found herself in a large hall that looked like a ballroom she had once seen in a movie.

sofia was seen walking around with a man around her age on her shoulder as they laughed amongst themselves.

as they walked out of the door el had just came from, the man started to feel nauseous and collapsed to the concrete pavement to which sofia dropped with him to see if he was okay.

another woman followed and asked what was wrong, causing sofia to scream to her “GO GET NATALIE”

sofia turned the man over and started examining his face that was sweating “are you using again?”

he weakly shook his head no

sofia thought about anything else it could possibly be and her mind only went to one place, the place that had taken so many of her friends

“shit when was the last time you were tested?”

no answer

el jumped as the door swung open and a very dressed up natalie approached the two

“what happened”

“i don’t know he just collapsed. he said he wasn’t using but i-“

her voice was shaking

“i don’t know when he was tested last”

natalie looked worried and so did sofia as natalie went to the payphone and called for an ambulance

once the ambulance arrived and the boy was lifted inside, sofia followed, as did el. however once she entered the ambulance doors, she found herself in a hospital waiting room where she could see sofia on one of the chairs with her head down and her hands on her head.

el went to touch the girl’s hand when she moved her head up and el could see her face clearly. she was crying. nay, not crying. sobbing. el could tell she could barely breathe.

the woman el remembered as natalie came towards them with a sympathetic look on her face as she bent down in front of sofia.

“it’s okay darling. it’s okay to cry. i’m right here”

el felt herself about to cry as she backed away from the scene and through a set of push doors to be met with the inside of a large apartment. she was standing in a long and narrow hallway as she heard the sound of keys jiggling.

in entered sofia as she laughed her way past el, even though el followed her anyways, and down to the end of the hallway as she yelled “hEY NAT I FOUND THAT JACKET YOUVE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR, IT WAS IN THE TRUNK-“

she was cut off when she felt her stomach turn inside out as she saw natalie holding her own stomach in a pool of her own blood sweat and tears.

“what happened- i-“

“shhh it’s okay” natalie raised her hand, although she was weak, and brushed away sofia’s tear

she was practically whispering “i was in the wrong place at the wrong time while coming home” she took a breath “but what’s done is done”

sofia frantically looked at the woman, examining her “no no no no no not you.”

she held natalie’s hand, “anyone but you”

natalie continued to hold sofia’s face in her one hand, even though blood was now being transferred to her cheek, “non piangere per me do not cry for me”

el started to walk through the doorway before she was met with another club scene within the literal blink of her eye.

within a few seconds, people parted and el caught a glimpse of sofia who was now sitting on a couch, drink in hand, laughing

el began making her way towards her, still eyeing her movements and actions

sofia took a joint from another girl and took a hit, blowing the smoke in the air as she leaned her head back and get up to yell “BENNY SAID HE’S GOT SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR US UP STAIRS”

el hurriedly followed the group of four upstairs to see a man waiting for them, smoking a cigar

sofia walked towards a table where a white powdery substance awaited her, “oh shit benny” she grabbed the metal straw and took in a line of it to then rub her nose before getting up and letting the others have a go

a girl started to laugh “imagine if nat saw us now, that old whore would be shitting in her pants, especially seeing sof so shit faced”

sofia turned around, wiping her nose and sarcastically laughing “ya know what megan-“

sofia pushed her against the wall by her collar “dont talk about her”

one of the boys pulled her way while saying “come on let’s take a walk”

sofia broke free from him before walking back downstairs almost falling “i can go by myself im not five”

the girl she had previously called megan yelled out to her “YOU BETTER BE AT WORK MONDAY”

she was ignored as sofia made her way to the exit of the night scene and out into the street

sofia was out of it. she was feeling everything and nothing all at once. she thought about her life back in hawkins and her life in new york.

she lost both of her mothers

she lost her home

sofia approached a bridge that catered to the view of a gorgeous river

robin was in tears watching everything unravel as she looked to sofia laying on the sofa and spotted a tear fall down her cheek

sofia looked out to the river before getting on the edge and turned around, el being able to clearly see her face as she closed her eyes and tilted her head to the sky and fell

once she hit the water she was awaken to the same bridge but now she was alone and was more conscious than before as el was able to now look at the tv after taking off her blindfold and embracing mike as she cried

will redirected everyone’s attention to the television “wait this is her current fear?”

mike loosened his grip on el “yeah it’s supposed to be”

sofia was standing on the bridge’s edge once as she searched for people, but the streets were empty and she thought she was alone until she turned back to see robin

robin watched in shock, as did everyone else

robin took sofia’s face in her hands as they stared at each other, tears flowing from sofia’s face as she whispered “i’m sorry”

robin whispered back “it’s okay” she kissed her gently

as she released her, once again, sofia fell to the body of water below her

this time as she hit the water, she woke up from the sofa, gasping for air as she looked around, trying to understand her surroundings. it wasn’t until joyce began to hug her that she began to break down into tears as she tried to not look at robin

next chapter

[winnipegpatty]

to all the boys i’ve loved before [pt. iii] | s.m.

a/n: ummmm this baby is a little over 3k and has an entire beautiful sappy cutesy fluffy scene that is not in the movie, i love it. i’m so happy with it. pls enjoy i hope you enjoy. send me some feedback if you would, i love hearing from you!

part i. part ii.

I was used to being invisible. But with Shawn by my side, people were looking at me. Talking about me. I could practically feel Gen’s eyes searing into my back as I walked through the cafeteria with Shawn, his hand in my back pocket. And he thought that wouldn’t do the trick. He spun me around to face him, and suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe. But it wasn’t because the people were looking at us, it was because Shawn was looking at me. His eyes were always so intense, and how does he look like he cares so much when this is all for show?

“This is for you,” Shawn whispered into my ear, as he handed me a note. There were little music notes on the paper. My first lyrical note from Shawn Mendes. What an accomplishment. “Good job. I’ll see you in a bit?”

It was weird and almost off putting, being congratulated for doing nothing more than accepting a note, and having an ass pocket for Shawn to stick his hand into. But, I guess that’s where life has me now.

___

A knock on the front door interrupted a serious baking session that I was right in the middle of. And when I say it was an interruption, I mean it was the biggest interruption it possibly could have been. It was a Shawn Mendes sized interruption, and one I wasn’t exactly wanting to deal with currently.

“Hello to you too, Pillsbury Dough Boy.” Shawn muttered to me as he stepped into the house. It was a fair comment, I suppose. I was wearing an apron and was covered in flower. So I wasn’t a master chef, sue me.

“I’m making cupcakes for Sofia’s bake sale,” I replied flatly.

“You know brownies would be so much easier. That’s what my mom always did.”

“Shawn Peter Raul Mendes, what are you doing here?”

Shawn laughed at the name, “What did you not read my note? It wasn’t just an amazingly written lyric ya know? I’m taking you to a party.”

“What? No you aren’t.”

“Uh, yes. I am,” Shawn fought. “First off, Gen’s gonna be there. Second of, parties are in the contract. And you can’t go back on the contract. A deal’s a deal.”

I rolled my eyes at him, “I’m sorry. I can’t go.”

“Can’t go to what?” My dad waltzed into the conversation at the exact wrong moment. He knew I had nothing to do today. Tonight. Or ever, really. “Is that Shawn Mendes?” He looked at Shawn with wide eyes. “Little Shawn Mendes? You’re as tall as me now.”

Shawn laughed, “It’s good to see you Dr. Y/L/N.”

“You can call me Dan.”

“I’m just here to pick up Y/N and take her to a party. The parents will be home, and I will have her home early.” God he’s so good. Too good. He knows exactly how to work parents. What a shocker. “Is it alright if we go?”

“Yes!” Dad practically shouted in glee at the same time as I said, “Noooo.”

“I can’t go, I have to finish these cupcakes. I promised Sof.”

“I think Sof and I can handle some cupcakes, you go have fun with your friends.”

___

“Shawn really, please I don’t want to go.”

Shawn was basically dragging you up the stairs to the house party at this point. And Shawn wasn’t having any of your lame ass excused. “No, Nope. Nope. We’re going. It’s in the contract.”

We stood outside the door for a moment, and I nervously began pulling my hair into my favorite scrunchie before Shawn was grabbing my hands. “What are you doing? Stop.”

He took the scrunchie from me, despite my protest. “Stop, I like your hair down.” And if it were for his dumb stupid kind eyes, you would have fought him on it. “You look pretty, and I’ll prove it to you.” He pulled out his phone from his pocket and quickly took a picture of me before I could ruin it with some silly face.

“Fine, but you can’t lose that. It’s my favorite scrunchie.”

“Deal, now give me your phone.”

“Why?”

Shawn rolled his eyes, “Would you trust me?” Sure. Why not. Why wouldn’t I trust my fake boyfriend who up until a week ago, only spoke to me if forms of apologies for his horrible ex girlfriends behavior.

Shawn took an admittedly cute selfie and made it the background on my phone, pulling out his phone with the picture of me he’d just taken of me as his background. “Now, let’s gooooo.”

I tried one last protest, before he was pulling me into the depths of the party.

Shawn almost immediately left my side to get us drinks. I found myself floating around, awkwardly, hovering over peoples games or conversations, until Gen called out after me.

“Hey Y/N come sit with us,” one of Gen’s friends called.

Figuring this is exactly what the parties were in the contract for, I ventured over at sat.

“So, you and Shawn? Spill the deets.” Gen’s same friend said.

“Well? What do you want to know?” There wasn’t much to know, other than the fact that it was all fake, but that was obviously off limits.

“Well everything, duh.”

“Drop it,” Gen told her friend, “They obviously haven’t done anything because it’s Y/N.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, Gen?” I asked quickly.

“It’s pretty simple. I know Shawn. And I know you. And Shawn doesn’t go for people like you. So you really don’t have to pretend, honey. He might have kissed you in the seventh grade, but we all know that meant nothing.” Gen laughed as she stood up to leave, “Would you like a drink? A juice box? Maybe some chocolate milk.”

“I’m good, Shawn’s actually getting me a drink. But thanks for the offer.” I threw my best smug smile at Gen, right as Shawn hopped over the couch.

“Hey babe.”

Gen was leaving now, but Shawn didn’t seem too concerned. I took my drink from his hand and took a sip, smiling up at him. In another world, where Shawn Mendes wasn’t...well Shawn Mendes, he’d actually be the perfect boyfriend. He was so pretty. The curls were irresistible. And he had this perfect mix of charm and class that just made everything about him ideal. But that wasn’t the world I lived in. I lived in the world where Shawn Mendes was hopelessly in love with Gen. No matter how horrible she was.

“Hey let’s take a selfie,” Shawn says.

I leaned in a gently kissed his cheek as he snapped the photo. If anyone ever asked me, I’d deny it, but being with Shawn was comfortably easy. I’d expected to be annoyed constantly by childish behavior. Or maybe that he’d try and push the boundaries we’d set. But...I was wrong. About everything really. It made sense why Gen had liked him, but Shawn liking someone like Gen; that was different.

___

“Where are we going?” I asked as Shawn drove away from the party.

It’d only been an hour since you’d arrived, and there was still at least a solid two hours before Dad would expect Shawn to have me home by. Shawn’s excuse for leaving: “I just can’t handle Gen’s eyes on us anymore. It’s unnerving. And annoying.” I’d been under the impression that Gen’s lingering eyes were the exact reason for our situation to begin with. But it’s not like I wanted to stay at the party, so I’d followed as he pulled me through the house without an argument.

“Just...be quiet.” Shawn huffed.

Folding my arms across my chest, I replied. “Fine, but I’m putting on music at least.”

Fleetwood Mac quickly filled the speakers of Shawn’s Jeep as he rolled down both the front windows and threw his arm out of the window. Not even a few minutes later, Shawn was grunting in frustration as he hit the steering wheel.

“Shawn, what’s wrong?” I asked quietly.

He just shook his head staying silent. I honestly didn’t know how to handle a frustrated Shawn. Especially when I didn’t know what had him in the mood to begin with, so I stayed silent, deciding to hum quietly to the songs instead.

Fifteen minutes later, and Shawn was still driving. He’d still given no clues to where, in fact he hadn’t said a single word since entering the car. But the tension in his shoulders had eased when Leather and Lace by Stevie Nicks came on. He smiled at the road, and sang the song under his breath. He didn’t know I was paying attention, but how could I not. A relaxed Shawn was something special to witness, let me tell you.

Ten minutes later, and whatever was on Shawn’s mind upon getting into the Jeep was a distant memory. He was happily, and might I add loudly, singing along to Slow Hands. He’d occasionally throw funny glances my way, and hopefully he couldn’t see the fond look that I know was creeping onto my face. That would just be embarrassing. But how could you not look at this Shawn Mendes and be fond? He was giggly and happy and just being himself? I honestly don’t think I’d ever seen this version of Shawn before, now that I think about it.

“So where you taking us, bub?”

Shawn shot up an eyebrow at the name, but said nothing.

“Geesh, Y/L/N, just let me surprise you, will you?”

You choked out a laugh, trying not to think too hard about Shawn putting together a “surprise” when this was all just supposed to be fake. (For something so fake, it had a way of feeling kind of real.)

A couple minutes later, Shawn pulls his Jeep onto a deserted dirt road, and I’m just now realizing that you’d left the suburbs behind quite some time ago. We’d been driving on somewhat country roads for a while now.

“You’re gonna kill me in the woods, aren’t you?” I deadpanned.

“And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids,” Shawn joked right back. Shawn rolled his eyes at me before continuing, “Seriously though, shut up for like five minutes, and you’ll see.”

Deciding to once again not argue (a novel idea really), I just leaned back and surveyed the surroundings. You know, just incase I had to call the authorities.

But really all there was to look at were trees. Like...lots of trees. And a minute later, Shawn was driving through the woods. On a somewhat paved path. And suddenly, I was very thankful that we’d taken his Jeep to the party, and not my rinky dink car. It most definitely would not have made the drive.

And as if Shawn had timed it perfectly, he came to a stop in a small clearing of the woods as Slow Hands came to a dramatic close.

Shawn turned off the car and reached into the back of his Jeep where he pulled out a thick fleece blanket.

“You just have blankets laying around back there, Mendes?”

“Actually, yes.” Shawn looked directly at me, “My mom always told me to have a blanket in my car incase I got stranded while it was cold.”

I blinked at him for a moment, not expecting a real response. “Valid,” I finally muttered, hoping not to look like the fucking idiot I truly, truly was in this moment. “So what are we doing?”

Shawn hopped out of the Jeep, blanket in hand, and rushed over to my door to help me out of the Jeep. The grass was getting wet under my feet from the dew forming. Shawn’s hand held mine as he guided me further into the clearing, and again, I’m just hit with the this feeling too real. Not fake enough. Not manufactured. This was not in the contract. But pushing the anxieties aside, I could see the moment forming around me. Almost as if I were observing from the outside.

Shawn laid out the blanket on the grass, and layed down, gesturing for me to do the same. Eventually, after standing astonished for a second too long, I followed suite. Close enough to him to feel his body heat radiating out, but not close enough to touch.

“So we’re here because…” I whispered, not wanting to interrupt the quiet atmosphere.

“Because, sometimes you just gotta get away, you know?” Shawn’s face turned to look at me. “You know sometimes I think I like Gen, but then there are days like today when I can’t understand why I bother with her,” his breath fanned over my face, intermingling with my own. “You know she cornered me, in the bathroom of all places.” He turned to look back at the stars. “She just pisses me off so much, Y/N. I wish I could just be like you, ya know?”

I didn’t really mean to laugh, but it came out anyway. “Like me? What do you mean?”

“You’re not afraid of her.”

I scoffed, “Shawn, I’m terrified of her.”

He shook his head, still not looking at me. But I was looking at him, how could I not? “No you aren’t. Like that day she was making fun of your boots. And you didn't even fucking care. You didn’t let it get to you? You told me she had a chemical imbalance,” Shawn giggled softly as his hand came to cover his mouth. Almost as if he hadn’t meant to laugh at something so rude.

“You remember all that?” I asked shyly.

“Yeah, I mean… I couldn’t say anything because we were together. But...those shoes weren’t just cool. I thought they were….you looked hot in them. They worked well on you, yeah?”

“Thank you…” I whispered.

Staring at the stars with Shawn Mendes was surreal. The night was beautiful, the stars were shining, and Shawn’s gravitational pull felt indeniable. Like, I had to be closer to him. I didn’t want to be closer to him, god, no. He’s Gen’s ex boyfriend. And Gen was honestly the last person I should have been making enemies of, and yet… There I was, laying next to Shawn. So close that our pinkies were touching, and if I wasn’t mistaken, Shawn was moments away from wrapping our hands together completely.

But it was fake. It was all supposed to be fake. So why? Why do this?

“I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with her, honestly?” I blurted out. Apparently lacking complete control over my body in this moment.

“What? I’m not obsessed,” Shawn stuttered.

“She’s your only girlfriend you’ve ever had, eh?” Shawn nodded, “And she’s left you for some other guy, yet you just wanna get back with her? Shawn, if she doesn’t see what you’re worth then she’s not worth the time.”

Shawn scoffed, “You’ve never even had a boyfriend, you can’t really be handing out the advice.”

“I just think you should move on, if she doesn’t want you. That’s her loss.” Okay, that was a little bold for my taste, but I guess bold is what we’re doing tonight.

“You know, for someone so quiet all the time, you sure have a lot of opinions,” Shawn muttered under his breath.

“I think you’re just not used to people being honest with you.”

Shawn laughed again. He rolled over on his side, completely facing me. He rested his head on his arm, propped up and said with a hint of mirth, “You wanna talk about honesty? Be honest, why haven’t you ever had a boyfriend?”

“I guess no one's ever liked my like that,” I shrugged simply. Avoidance was key here.

“Lies. I know for a fact that you were asked to spring formal and you turned it down. That is a verifiable fact. So don’t go denying it. There are no secrets between fake boyfriend and fake girlfriend.”

“Okay, well it’s simple really. Love? Dating? It’s fun to read about. To immerse yourself in a fictional world. To put all your feelings into a character or a storyline. To see something epic take place. To get a happy ending every time, in words or even just in your mind. But people are different. Real life, it’s different. Giving yourself over to someone. Trusting them. Trusting that they won’t hurt you…or leave you. That’s...Shawn, that’s terrifying.”

“Why? Why’s that so scary?”

I turned on my side to mirror Shawn, “Because...the more people you let in. The more people you let have little parts of you. The more people that come into your circle. Into your life...the more than just walk right out.”

“Just...like your mom, right?” Shawn whispered.

It wasn’t supposed to be a sad conversation. I hadn’t meant for it to turn out that way. It was all just teasing Shawn about Gen and yet here I was...pulling out the dead mom card. But it was the truth, it was my truth. When you feel the loss of someone so deeply, it changes you. And it had certainly changed me.

Shawn sighed, “You know, I’m really sorry. I don’t think I ever told you when it happened. That’s not something a kid should ever have to go through.”

“It’s just hard...without her sometimes.”

Shawn smiled sadly. I hated those smiles. The smiles that just shot pity at you. That said “I can’t relate, but I’m here for you”. Or that said “it’ll get better in time”.  

“But you know,” Shawn started, “Your mom didn’t just walk out. She loved you, but she didn’t leave you. Not the kind of leaving you’re talking about being afraid of. She’s still always going to be with you. In her heart. In your memories. That’s nothing to be afraid of, Y/N. That’s something to treasure. You hold onto the memories and the stories. That’s how you keep her with you. How she doesn’t leave.”

There wasn’t really a proper response to that. It was more of a thing you thought about, slept on, took home with you. And so I just stared into Shawn’s eyes. Wondering who made him so smart. Who made him so perfect. Who made him so irresistible that it was completely and totally too easy to realize that he was just pretending.

That it was all fake.

tagged: @rosecth @honestlygarbage @peacedolantwins2

[soflsms]

   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  

trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name  :   sofie sydney almeda

nicknames  :   sof

age  :  twenty - two  .

birthday  :  december  eleventh  .

zodiac  :  sagittarius  .

gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .

pronouns  :  she    &    her  .

height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .

hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .

nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .

ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .

label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .

occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  

quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .

background

         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho  she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.

         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!

        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel  any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .

         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion  for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  

          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .

        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen  go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  

        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)

personality

        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!

        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear

         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  

         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much

has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  

tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .

wanted (* = mw)

friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  

friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 

come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!

*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  

*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)

fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls

***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh  itd  be  messy  pls !!

party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by  them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it

 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them

music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  

* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  

* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(

exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  

i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all  

[words-writ-in-starlight]

hi! if you're still doing the headcanons thing, can I ask your headcanons about Constantine from Robin McKinley's Sunshine? (I hope you feel better soon!!)

HELL yeah, I love Con.

Send me a character and I’ll write 10 headcanons!

Constantine doesn’t remember with any degree of specificity when he was born, but he knows he was already a vampire when he came to the New World.  He remembers a war, from when he was human, a war over nothing, between mercenaries.  He thinks he might have been German--he remembers someone who called him Konstantin and doesn’t remember when the shift happened.

Constantine doesn’t remember what shifted him away from what he calls the usual way of being a vampire, either.  There was no single dramatic event, it was just sort of gradual.  Something about clean deaths and humans and vampires.  He thinks, sometimes, while he’s watching wars, that there’s no such thing as a clean death between two thinking beings, human, vampire, no matter.

Vampires aren’t much given to strong emotions in the way humans are--they might be vengeful or amused or bitter, but there’s generally a very small margin of error for them to work with.  But Constantine might categorize the way he feels about the stars and the moon--the sky, something so often lost to his kind, especially when they’re as old as he is--as love.

Constantine hasn’t been afraid in many years, by the time he’s captured by Bo’s soldiers.  Enough years that he was beginning to think, idly, that fear was written out of the body when the transformation took hold, like the ability to walk in sunlight.  Even being faced with what will inevitably be his own death, there’s only a cool, aloof assessment and acceptance of the reality.  Then a human pulls him into the sunlight and Constantine knows fear for the first time in centuries.

I do not know what you have given me, he told Sunshine that night when he healed the poison in her wound.  Standing outside Old Town and feeling something strange and still unfamiliar in his chest, Constantine thinks that it might have been emotion.  Emotion in the way humans feel it.  He thinks that she has infected him with her humanness--very different from humanity, given the circumstances--from the moment he told her to remind him that she was a rational creature.

She pulls Bo’s heart out through his chest and screams his destruction through tears and the explosion of power is deafening, and Constantine has some of that vampire calm again when he thinks so now we will all die together.  It is the revelation that Sunshine is not dead yet, or at least has the potential to remain not-dead for some time, that makes him realize that he would like them to survive this.

Sunshine works for SOF, sometimes, after it all.  When she needs help, Constantine provides it.  He thinks he’ll never feel safe in sunlight, but the light bound into her skin by the wardsmith doesn’t frighten him.  Their ongoing lie, about Mister Connor from out by the lake, innocent wayward human, gets more fragile every time he comes to her call, but he thinks that if she didn’t call, he might worry enough to come anyway.  

Constantine meets the wardsmith first--meets her properly.  He’s listening to Sunshine explain to him the ward she’s trying to figure out.  It’s something for his earth-place, a way to prevent the kind of manipulation that Bo was able to achieve, but Sunshine works her magic in food, mostly, and while he’s physically capable of eating it, it won’t do him any good.  So Constantine is sitting at her table while she flutters around the kitchen and makes brownies and mutters.  His input is not required.  His silence is probably why the genteel knock at the door gets a distracted come in from Sunshine, immediately followed by the sound of the door opening and an expression of horror on the baker’s face.  It is bright and sunny outside, and so for a moment Constantine very seriously considers the likelihood that the wardsmith will manage to end him before Sunshine can stop her, until he hears a very even, “I did not realize you had company.”

Sometime in their...symbiosis, Sunshine gets past his warning to not tell him names.  This is how he knows about the warlock.  The cook, according to Sunshine, but Constantine is very old and knows a warlock when he sees one.  He does not entirely realize that he is dealing with a warlock until he meets the man properly, but the way the cook throws out a tattooed palm and projects a fireball the size of a prize pumpkin is a clear giveaway.  Constantine is not especially concerned by the fireball, but he does need this warlock to hear him out, because someone who can walk unaided in the sunlight will be required to find Sunshine.  Her penchant for trouble amazes him.  Getting the warlock to listen to him takes a touch of violence, but Constantine doesn’t leave more than a bruise around his wrists, from where he pinned the man against a wall while he said evenly, “If you do not stop fighting, we will not be able to find Sunshine.  Do you wish to help her, or not?”

They lie to SOF for a respectably long time.  It may, in fact, be the longest time that a vampire has ever successfully passed, especially after a multiple-hour interrogation and a brief stint in the sun.  It’s years later, by the time the lie breaks down--and honestly, there’s just nothing else to be done, when it finally does.  They can’t get inside and Sunshine has nothing but her hands to protect Constantine from the dawn, and there’s no other explanation for the way she lunges across a circle (Sunshine’s SOF friends, the partbloods, asking him suspiciously why he’s at yet another crime scene with Sunshine) to grab Constantine’s hands.  He can feel the tiny frail glamour he’s erected shatter when the sunlight hits him directly, and the sharp pull of her magic shielding him, and the absolutely grisly silence of revelation.  Constantine blinks down at Sunshine as she stares at him with something not unlike panic in her eyes, and then she whirls around, managing to keep a hand on his wrist the whole time.

“You can’t stake him,” she says, flying right past any attempt to maintain their fiction.

“I--” Pat splutters, and there is in fact a wooden stake in his hands already, although really all they’d have to do is knock Sunshine down and stand back from the fire “Stake him--that’s a vampire!  How is that a vampire?  Sunshine?!”

Constantine already has a headache.

[thfrustration]

Wildest dreams - Chapter 12

TITLE OF STORY: Wildest Dreams

CHAPTER NUMBER/TITLE/ONE SHOT: Part 2 (Chapters 12/13)

AUTHOR: Anonymous

WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: Actor Tom

GENRE: Angst, Smut, Drama, Romance

FIC SUMMARY: It’s been three months since Tom and Sofia last saw each other. Memories from the past year come back to them, as they are now thrown together doing PR for their upcoming movie. Will they be able to sort out their feelings and the messy situation that they’re both in?

RATING: M

AUTHORS NOTES: These next two chapters are told from Sofia’s perspective **

————————————————————————————————

Chapter 12

- Before -

Okay, Okay. Just relax, this isn’t a hard decision. I stared at the three different tops I had laid out on my bed. I studied each one before deciding on just a simple white tee. This seems casual enough. I walked over to the mirror and studied my face. I tugged at a lock of my hair, the island’s salty water has caused my curls to spiral wildly. I avoided heavy make up except for mascara, and a light tint of red on my lips.

My heart has been fluttering since I had left the set earlier. I couldn’t believe that it was me suggesting this insane idea. But you know what? I needed to get out of my comfort zone, and if I was attracted to Tom, there is no shame in exploring that…I think?

I snuck out of the villa without Iris or Gina noticing, and walked over next door. My heart was pounding harder against my chest with each step I took. I know that Tom has the villa to himself tonight.

Knock, knock, knock.

I rocked my feet back and forth, completely unaware of how the night was going to go. I had thought of it a thousand times, all different scenarios. There was a thrill in not knowing even though it made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

Tom leaned against the doorway. He was fresh out of the shower, and I could smell a hint of eucalyptus coming off him. A small smiled appeared across his face.

“You actually came”

“Did you think I wouldn’t?”

“You know, I’m not quite sure what to expect from you” he answered as he reached his long arm forward, his hand meeting my waist and he pulled me inside closing the door behind him.

“So, I think we should talk first” Tom stated quite matter of factly. “Just so we know our boundaries with one another”

“Right…of course…well, this obviously isn’t a relationship. It’s just an exceptionally good way to…relieve….stress?”

Tom froze in place, I looked up to see a change in his expression and I could tell that he was trying suppress a laugh. “So this is purely to reduce our stress levels?” He teased.

I covered my blushed face with my hands. “I don’t know how to have this conversation”

He took my hands in his own pulling them down gently rubbing circles on my palm with his thumb. “I just want to know what your expectations are”

“I’m not expecting anything…it’s just…sex” I clarified. Confidence Sof, you’ve got this.

“Well then…” He lifted his fingers to my face, pulling back a strand of curls.

I lost myself in the way he looked at me…I knew it was about to happen…

“Ow!”

“Oh shit…”

I felt my head tilt all the way down to the right, and Tom had a slightly amused facial expression. “Sorry, you’re hair got caught on my watch”

“This is some interesting foreplay”

He laughed, “hold on, I got this…”

“I’m sorry, my hair is a disaster today”

Tom detangled himself before waving his wrist in my face. “Don’t worry, I managed to escape”

“I’ll just hide this chaos” I started to pull it up into a high bun.

“Hold on now…” Tom answered, “Who said I want it hidden?”

I let it fall on my face. “Don’t you think it’ll get in the way?”

He laughed “I think it’ll be fine…besides your hair is lovely”

Heavens, it’s like he knocks the wind out of me with every compliment. He placed his arm around me pulling me close to him. “Sofia…” He said his voice low “If we do this…no one can know. It’ll just be easier if we avoid as much gossip as possible”.

“I agree…” I let out a small sigh. “Also…I don’t want this ruin our friendship? It’s just that we’ve grown so close, and I don’t want this to mess that up”

His gaze softened as I said those words, he looked almost relieved. “I was hoping you would say that, because I feel exactly the same way”

——————————

- One Year Later -

I’m trying really hard not to panic. Despite my clumsiness, Tom’s demeanor changed when Serena appeared by my side. His engrossing personality won her over in a heartbeat, and somehow this encounter eventually led to me sitting securely between Tom and Serena outside.

“You really didn’t do him any justice” She whispered in my ear. I rolled my eyes at her comment. I haven’t seen Adam at all. He was busy being a host, and I just hoped he stayed busy. A short encounter with Tom is one thing, but a long and engaging conversation? I would like to avoid that scenario at all possible costs.

“I’m going to grab myself another drink, anyone care to join?” Serena asked as she stood up.

“I’ll get one with you” Tom chimed in following her.

To my surprise, they got along exceptionally well. They talked about a number of things, and laughed at each other’s jokes. I can’t help myself but think if circumstances were different…

“Is this seat taken?” An older gentleman whispered in my ear.  

“It is actua-“

The man sat anyway. His suit looked untidy, and his face beet red from all the alcohol he had consumed. “My, my, you are pretty”

My skin curled as he said those words. “Sorry, but this seat is taken” I answered sternly.

The man didn’t feel shy at all by placing his hand on my bare thigh. “You look familiar…”

I brushed it off instantly. “Please leave, my friend is heading back now”

“Oh yeah! You’re the actress on those movie posters! Damn, you sure are a hell of a lot sexier in person” He swayed back and forth, his eyes wandering down to my breasts where they stayed. I raised my brow in disgust, and placed my drink on the table. “Excuse me” I said standing up trying to move away.

“Wait hold on” He slurred, grabbing my wrist holding it tightly before pulling me back down. “Can I get your number?”.

“No” I said attempting to pull away from him. No one standing outside seemed to take notice of either me or the man.

“Come on, I’m a great guy…and you are…” He licked his lips which only grossed me out even more “You are…something aren’t you?”

He was definitely stronger then he looked, I felt a sting of pain around my wrist as he squeezed a little harder. I began to panic, I need to think of escape plan now before this guy tries something.  

“Hey!” I heard a voice call from behind. I looked up to find Tom, his  presence relieving my stress.

“What the hell do you want?” The man responded angrily.

“Let go of her” His intimidating eyes fixated on the man. He looked like he was mentally ripping him into shreds, but I knew Tom had too much integrity to cause a massive scene in front of everyone.

“Fuck off” The drunk man answered, only tightening his hand around my wrist even more. “This is a private conversation”

“No it isn’t!” I argued back.

Tom walked over to him placing his hand on the man’s shoulder and giving it a hard squeeze before repeating more menacingly. “I said let go”

A wave of fear overcame him, and he finally eased his grip.

“Whatever” He stated, giving me a disgusted look before standing up and wobbling the other direction.

“You alright?” Tom asked placing an arm around my shoulder as he sat back down.

“Yes, I’m alright” my voice broke as I spoke.

“Did he hurt you?” He looked at the red finger marks imprinted around my hand.

“Women learn to cope with drunk men regularly, I think I’ll survive” I gently rubbed my throbbing wrist, the pain quickly dissipating.

“He’s fucking disgusting” Tom uttered under his breath.

“It’s fine, he probably didn’t even know what he was doing”

“That isn’t a good enough excuse”

I looked up at him, only realizing just how riled up he is by the noticeable vein popping out of his neck. “I’m alright Tom” I stated, placing my hand on his thigh. “Thank you for helping me”

“You know you never have to thank me for that” He answered softly.

We both looked at each other, and I found myself forgetting where we were. For a moment, it was just the two of us again. Tom let out a small sigh before lifting his arm away from me, leaning back back against the chair.

“Sof?”

We both looked up to find Adam standing in front of us. Serena was behind him giving me a questioning look. Tom casually picked up his drink. “Serena! There you are!” he exclaimed enthusiastically, completely playing off the situation. Serena walked over to him, but didn’t hesitate to hide the curious expression she had on her face.

Adam stood motionless, his eyes staring directly at Tom.

“What’s going on?”

————————————

Chapter 13

- Before -

Tom had me pressed against the archway of his room. He was taking charge this time. His hands made there way to the bottom of my t-shirt and he gently tugged it upwards, his fingers grazing my skin as he pulled it up.

I broke away from the kiss and giggled against his shoulder.

“Well someone is ticklish” He responded letting out that small, distinctive laugh.  

I poked him in the rib. “Don’t use it against me”

He lifted my t-shirt over my head and tossed it aside on the floor, before tugging at my jeans pulling me closer against him. “I’m just a little bit amused that I get to find out all your secrets”

“Now, now…”

He undid my jeans, slowly sliding them down my legs. I stepped out of them and kicked them aside as well.

Tom’s eyes wandered hungrily all over my body. “You are a vision”

It was like an electric shock went through me. My hands made their way to his t-shirt, and I could feel his muscles underneath. Tom grabbed both my wrists with one hand pulling them over my head, while disapprovingly shaking his head.

“That’s not fair” I pouted my lips in protest.

“I don’t want this to be about me” He traced his finger down the line of my stomach to my lower abdomen. “Let’s just focus on you right now”

His words flustered me. Before I could even answer he was kissing me again, slow but passionately like he was trying to control himself. I wanted to do more than just stand there, but Tom asserted his dominance. He slipped his hand in my underwear, and I could feel his fingers press against me. He started to rub slowly before moving in fast circular motions.

“God, you’re so wet” He whispered.

This felt good. Really good. He kept rubbing his fingers and I felt one slide inside me, and then another. I let out a small gasp, and noticed a devilish grin appear on his face. He moved it in and out slowly, as he gently nibbled my ear. My body went limp against the wall, but he slipped his fingers out before he got me any further.

He picked me up and carried me to his bed laying me down on the soft silk sheets. His hands moved behind my back and he unclipped my bra with ease. I slipped out of it, tossing it away. I felt the brush of cold wind from the window gently blow against me, causing my nipples to harden.

Tom licked his lips. I could see the hunger in his eyes, but he was taking his time teasing me. I felt his lips brush against my nipple, he took it in his mouth swirling his tongue before gently biting down. He massaged my other breast with his hand, surprising me by gently twisting the nipple. My back arched, and I let out a satisfied moan.

“Now I do enjoy that sound” Tom spoke seductively. Every touch I felt was like an outer body experience, and I was desperate for more. “Lift your hips” he commanded.

He gently slid my underwear off, leaving me naked on his bed. He spread my legs, his eyes taking in every inch of myself. I blushed furiously, realizing just how different he was looking at me. He left a trail of kisses along my inner thigh, moving higher and higher until I felt his hot breath against me.

“Do you have any idea how often I think about you lying like this in my bed?”

Just the sound of his voice tantalizing me with his words was enough to get me off. “What do you think about when I’m like…ohhh”

My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I felt his tongue stroke me between my legs. My toes curled with every wave of pleasure that entered my body. This was too much, I tried to wiggle away from him but he held my hips down securely, licking me faster.

“Oh god, yes! Don’t stop…” I begged. I trembled feeling that familiar build up. I let out a helpless moan as I orgasmed. Tom sat up, leaving me as a bundle of nerves, my body shaking from the aftermath. My eyes wandered down and I could see the line of his erection pressing against the fabric of his pants.

Tom pulled a condom out of his back pocket before taking off his pants. He slid it on and my eyes widened at just how big he was. Tom spread my legs again, stroking his dick against my slit. “What do want me to do?” He teased.

The only answer I could give was a moan that escaped my lips as I felt him move against me.

“Say it” He growled with an authoritative tone.

“Fuck me, Tom” I begged as he continued teasing me. With those words he entered me, and I had to catch my breath as I felt him slide inch by inch. He started fucking me slowly, before he speeding up and thrusting his body against me. I instantly went numb, digging my nails into his skin causing him to let out a grunt. He fucked me deeper, as if he was taking out all of that pent up frustration he felt in this moment, and I am enjoying every minute of it. I called out his name as I came again, and he held me close as he followed.

We both were coming down from a wild high. Tom pressed his forehead against mine, steadying his breath. He looked at me with those sharp blue eyes, giving me a knowing stare. This was something we were going to keep between the two of us, and we both knew there was no turning back now.