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lovendermist · 1 month

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i dont know if u do aus but if u do🥹 i have a tini tiny request of an actor au where reader and hange are both famous actors, they get casted in a movie where its their first time working together and fans begin editing their chemistry and after some time they get together because maybe one of them already likes the other and finally asked the other one out hmmmhmhmhm🤨🤨 if u ever decide to write this THANK YOU

a scenario and headcannon PLEASE

Actor!Hange x Actor!Reader

Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you... even I do

Type: Headcanons, Scenarios, fluff

WC: HC: 332, Scenario: 4k

Pairing: Actor!Hange x Actor!Reader

hange masterlist

A/N: Firstly, I had written too much than I expected and I feel very guilty. Secondly, this was fun to write. Thirdly, I hope you like this one anon, cause oh my, did I have a lot of giggling done while I was writing this. I honestly have low hopes for this one to go well, but I wanted to do it justice, hence the late upload. I hope you like it regardless! ;v; I also forgot if there was anything else I should've italicized. I did this on the notepad on my laptop, so. Please ignore any typos or else I will die.

(Also, a text with [this] means it's your text. I just didn't feel like doing that y/n business for this one.)

HANGE ACTOR AU: PROJECT 1

ACT 1: HANGE

I wholeheartedly believe Hange is naturally flirty, even to their past co-stars and actresses

It's kind of what they're known for, actually. If it's not their big projects in the past, it's their flirtatious and witty behavior

Hange stars a lot in action, thriller, and crime films

Very rarely in some sci-fi movies

Hange doesn't always wear glasses, they're wealthy enough to afford contacts

But when they do, the public screams how perfect they'd look in sci-fi films, especially with the type of glasses they have

The public also screams how insanely hot they look with it

There's been some times where Hange does wear their glasses during movie premiere red carpets

And what makes the public lose it when they wear their glasses is that during these interviews, they occasionally look at their co-star with such adoration

A straight up half-lidded gaze, tilted head, and occasional lip twitches as their co-star talks

It's all inadvertent, they'd say in another interview

But the next victim of Hange's glassy-eyed stare? You.

ACT 2: YOU

Your career consists of mostly side characters in arthouse films

The sharp-witted, helpful, sometimes annoying side character

You occasionally get a center role, though

Sometimes you star in drama, horror, or even action

But soon, you get paired up with Hange in one of their main career genres

A crime film, with you as Hange's sidekick, an assistant of sorts

The film has a certain twist to it, where your character is actually the one pulling some of the strings behind the case Hange's character and you yourself were working on

And it includes a scene where— if seen under a different assumption, a different light— you'd think it wasn't a heated interrogation but a build up to something more

A different kind of heated, let's just say.

But after all that time on set, and now during that red carpet interview,

You're not sure if Hange's scrutinizing gaze is all part of the act anymore

ACT 3: ACTION

The cameras flash and the people scream out both of your names to get your attention. You two are the stars of the night as the movie premiere's red carpet event takes place. You answer some of the interviewers as best as you can, trying your hardest not to give out any spoilers, but other than the paparazzi's gazes, you can feel someone else's eyes on you.

From your peripheral vision, you can see the way Hange towers just beside you, ready to jump in to give an answer of their own if needed. You think you're seeing things, but after a while you notice that Hange's eyes are not on the interviewers where they should be— but on you instead. Their grey glasses glimmer under the light of all the flashes sometimes. When you turn to look at them, they only smile back ever so softly.

You've known them to be a flirt. You do a bit of your own research before jumping into a project after all. It's been said by their past co-stars time and time again that they have a charming and playful personality, and flirty is not exactly far from the top 5 words the world has been using to describe them.

Was it your turn to be under Hange's watchful, half-lidded gaze this time? Instead of mulling on it over and over, you decide that it's best to focus on the event for the meantime. You don't want the cameras to catch you zoning out now, do you?

"So you and Hange have amazing chemistry on-screen. Was it hard to maintain that bond off-screen, considering it's your first time working together?" The interviewer asks.

"No, not at all! They have an easygoing personality, so you can imagine what that's like." You both smile as you answer the question, "Hange knows this is a bigger project than what I usually do, and they helped a lot in making me feel settled and welcomed. So that already helped a lot with our dynamic even off-screen."

"Aw, isn't that sweet?" Hange's soft voice speaks up as they pull you a little bit closer by your waist. You laugh in surprise at their sudden action, and even the interviewer can't help but be entertained by Hange's antics. You can't tell if they're just playing around or being true to themselves at this moment.

Throughout the event, all eyes are on you two. Hange is much more of an expert than you in dealing with the public and reporters, so for the most part, you let them deal with it. But you work together really well, the answers and banter flowing easily without a single problem.

"Well don't you two seem awfully close. Did the on-screen chemistry match the off-screen one?" Another interviewer asks.

"Oh, well you know. On-screen chemistry often translates off-camera too." Hange leans in closer to the mic, their voice low and teasing, confidence in full display as they answer the question. They even add a wink after answering.

"Oh, you flirt," You tap Hange's arm playfully, "Ignore them."

Hange laughs at your interjection, "See what I mean?" Hange pulls you closer to them, "This one keeps me in line."

As they pull you closer to them, you realize you're not exactly sure anymore if Hange's flirtatious character is just a front or if they're being serious for real. Sure, there's truth to their words: You do have great chemistry on and off-screen, but how much of Hange's flirty answers are true? Are you their next victim? Were you willing to be, anyway?

In the midst of this excruciatingly tiring event, you don't miss the way Hange's concerned eyes land on you as if to ask if you're okay. It's one of your first big events as an actor who mostly does small, indie projects after all. You smile at them throughout the night as a silent response.

During the movie premiere itself, you and Hange talk occasionally. You two make fun of your own characters, pointing out which scenes were hard for you two to film, which moments in the movie you loved best, and the likes. Sometimes, and yet again you think you're seeing things, but it looks like Hange's eyes are not on the screen but on you instead. You try to catch them, but the frame of their glasses and the darkness make it hard to see exactly where they have their eyes on. And even then, by that time, Hange's eyes are already back on the screen.

Before long, the moment of your character's betrayal was shown. Hange watches, their eyes almost sparkling in excitement.

"You were absolutely brilliant in this scene." Hange whispers, eyes glued to the screen. You mutter a thanks to their praise.

It was rather intense, the confrontation scene. Your usually apprehensive character's demeanor changed into a defiant, cheeky troublemaker the moment Hange's character figured out your plan. Much to the dismay of their character, your character wasn't exactly eager to spill out their secrets, leading to a bit of heated argument and some physicality.

Things resolved in a way that you were already sure would lead to split opinions in the community. This much you've discussed with Hange, but fan theories and scene dissections aside, you two were happy with how your characters resolved their own arcs in the end.

During the afterparty, Hange doesn't leave your side either. You were glad for this, as there's still a lot of people you didn't know aside from the filming crew.

"Thanks for sticking by me," you mutter, "I don't exactly know what to do during these events. It's all such a headache."

"Oh it's no problem, darling," Hange's hand settles back down on your waist as they speak in a low voice. "I'm more than happy to accompany you."

But it's not long before someone else calls for Hange's attention. Of course, it's to be expected. Hange's the more popular one in this industry, in this event. They excuse themselves from you with a wink, slipping their arm away from your waist and reluctantly leaving you alone for the meantime to talk to another actor.

As you wait for Hange, someone else comes up to talk to you. You try your best to engage in conversation, but you're more than eager for this to end so you can go back to Hange's company again. You spot Hange in the corner of your vision, and they're just as aware of your new chatmate.

Hange watches with a slight tension in their shoulders, their eyes occasionally darting to where you and the other actor are talking. Hange tries their best to maintain a cheerful conversation of their own, but their eyes remain watchful and annoyed at the fact that someone already talked to you the second they left you alone. It's not unexpected, it's a social event after all and you're the main star as well. But it does irk Hange to no end.

After what seems like hours, Hange's conversation ends first. They keep their eyes locked on you as they make their way over to where you are, excusing themselves along the way as they bump into other people.

"Hey! Hi, sorry, I just need to borrow this one for a second," Hange exclaims sweetly as they interrupt your conversation, "Mind if I steal them away for a bit?"

"Oh, of course, no problem."

And with that, Hange happily snakes their arm back around your waist and leads you away somewhere with less people.

"Was that a bit of jealousy I heard in your tone?" You tease Hange as you two settle somewhere quiet.

"Me? Jealous? Hardly." Hange teases.

You two walk around for a bit, greeting some guests and some crews. After some time together, you finally bring up what's on your mind. All that staring during the red carpet, their flirty behavior, even the way they whipped you away just now, it all comes flooding back to you.

"So, all that staring you've been doing." You turn to face their tall figure. It didn't really register to you how good Hange looked tonight— they had a dashing coat on, colors fitting to the aesthetic of your film.

"What about my staring?" Hange crosses their arms, a smirk appearing on their already smug looking face.

"You know what it does." You look at them, stern yet playful.

"And?" Hange urges you to continue, that smug look never leaving their face.

"Well, I would just appreciate it if you dropped the act."

"What act, darling?" Hange tilts their head, which you grow a little annoyed at. But you can't deny that it's an endearing sight too.

"The flirty comments, the…" You wave your hand around in an attempt to express yourself better, "the lovesick gaze…?" You cringe at your own words.

"Oh, darling." Hange drawls out, their tone playful yet serious, "I wasn't acting at all. I'm not playing pretend here."

Hange leans closer, close enough to the point where you can smell their perfume on them. It smells expensive, and it takes every single fiber in your being not to squirm where you stand.

You're seeing it again, up close and personal— Hange's pretty face so close to you, a sly smile tugging at the corners of their lips. The last time they were this close was during the shooting of that damned confrontation scene. After what seems like an eternity, they finally speak up, their voice dangerously low and sultry.

"Unless… you want it to be part of the act?"

It takes you a second to reply, but even then you stammer in your own words.

"Wha-"

Someone calls out to both of you, distracting you momentarily. Apparently, the afterparty is done and the cabs are here to take everyone home. Hange looks at you, that smile still etched on their gorgeous face before taking you away, back to where the people are. Your little conversation will have to be postponed for now. You're not worried for the lack of time at all, for there will be plenty of promotional interviews this week with Hange. But the suspense will be enough to leave both of you with a bit of tension until you two see each other again, with the perfect amount of privacy for you to talk your feelings out.

"I'll see you soon." Hange murmurs before kissing your hand. Their lips linger a second too long, and so do their eyes as they look at your stylish outfit.

"See you, Hange." And with that, the waiting game begins.

—

It takes a few days and a bunch of interviews before a long string of messaging happens between you two. It was Hange who reached out first, with a rather interesting message.

Hange: Have you see the edits?

You smile to yourself before replying to their message. For sure, they’re talking about how your movie is all the rage at the moment, including online.

[yeah. they're definitely something, aren't they?]

Hange: It's like they can't get enough of our chemistry. Hange: I guess the fans just see us and can't help but ship us. But it is kind of flattering, isn't it?

[its entertaining, yeah]

Hange: Though I guess that means we make a good pair, huh? 😉

[we do :)]

From your message alone, Hange already has a hunch that you two had totally different ideas in mind. After a few minutes, you receive another notification from them, confusion obvious from their message.

Hange: Wait, which edits have you been seeing exactly?

[the interview ones. what else?]

Hange responds rather quickly. From their end, they’re grinning mischievously from the newfound knowledge that you haven’t seen everything yet. They keep their message short and cryptic.

Hange: Oh.

You grow confused. What other edits could Hange be talking about? You wait a few seconds before receiving another message from them.

Hange: So you haven't seen the ones of us during the confrontation scene?

[the confrontation scene?]

Hange: So I take it that you haven't.

[,,, no? why would they be making edits about that ?]

Truth be told, you haven't exactly been online too much since your movie had shown in theaters everywhere. But from your social media's algorithm, that's really all you've been seeing: edits of you and Hange during past interviews this week, the videos cutting to when you two locked eyes and what the fans say is you acting shy from Hange's actions. Nothing more, nothing less.

Hange sent a link.

Hange: So you haven't seen these kinds of edits??

[no.??? wait i'll watch them now]

And watch them, you did. It takes you a second to get it, but you know what it is. You've seen these kinds of edits float around before; clips of movie scenes together to make a narrative, sometimes even to fit a certain song. And these fans certainly outdid themselves when it came to your movie, specifically catering to that scene where Hange’s character finds out and confronts you about your betrayal on them.

You scroll past a few of them, but another very particular edit grabs your attention. You make a mental note to never mention it to Hange and bury it in your mind. After a few minutes of replaying that edit, you decide to reply to Hange.

[ohhhh. those kinds of edits]

Hange: Ha! See? Aren't those cool?

[they’re certainly creative, thats for sure]

You hide the fact that that one particular edit makes your heart swoon a bit.

Hange: Come on, give them more credit than that. Hange: Or maybe you’re saying very little because you’re flustered from watching them?

[no, no, they’re good, really. im just surprised, i didnt know abt these.?]

Hange: They’re amazing, is what. I definitely see it now, how that confrontation scene can ultimately look a rather different kind of… intense 😉

[u are a joke. but i dont disagree]

You leave the conversation at that, and Hange lets you be. Unbeknownst to you, Hange has been uncontrollably smiling all the way from start to finish of your conversation. They already miss your presence and the time you had on set. In fact, their mind has already wandered back to how you looked in the red carpet. They just couldn't let you go, and you didn't let them.

After a few busy days, you decide to revisit some of the edits on social media. But before you could fully succumb to sleep, you decide to view that one particular edit that caught your attention. Yes, you did replay it a bit. Was it so wrong? It’s not like anybody will know. It’s not long before sleep takes ahold of you after the last replay of that video.

Soon you wake up well and refreshed, that is until you read Hange’s message. It's not like there was anything wrong with it, but it was odd enough that your gut tells you otherwise.

Hange: You sure are amusing

[good morning to you too. and what does that mean]

Hange: Well good morning! Looks like someone forgot to log in to a dummy account last night

[???]

Now you’re not only confused, but nervous as well. Nervous enough to double-text Hange.

[Hange??]

Hange sent a link.

It's a tweet of your activity online, a screenshot that you've liked that one particular edit of Hange from a different movie of theirs, a scene where they were alone and the scene itself being rather impure. The edit itself is a 2 month old upload, and netizens are going crazy for your unexpected interaction on such a late upload, additionally the fact that it's an edit of your co-star, and most especially the fact that its in the middle of your promotion for your movie with Hange.

When Hange saw that tweet, they were more than ecstatic to talk about it with you. It took everything in their bones to not post anything exclaiming their happiness of your sudden activity, especially that it's content of them.

You distinctly remember clicking like on it after multiple replays before dozing off to sleep. It happened quickly. So much for keeping your attraction to it under wraps.

[fuck]

Hange: Hehe Hange: I'm coming over

[???]

Hange doesn't reply anymore, making you nervous. The fact that you know they live pretty close to where you are puts you in such unease.

In the meantime, you look at how people are reacting to your activity, and in some ways it soothes you. Most are shocked, obviously. Who wouldn't be, when edits of your movie are going all around and here you are, barging in with an interaction on an old, and rather spicy edit of Hange.

It worried you, what this might do to Hange's reputation. Are they coming over because they're pissed? Probably not, they put a 'hehe' there. But still, you're worried how this would unfold for both of you, but especially for Hange, being the more popular actor they are.

Some reactions are… excited? Looks like some already shipped you two the moment some behind the scenes photos were posted. You're just thankful there's not a lot of negative feelings and thoughts being shared.

After some time, your doorbell rings. Hange's here. From your peephole, you can see that they're wearing a mask and a cap, most likely to hide from any paparazzi. You let them in with a guilty look, averting their gaze.

As soon as Hange walks in, they take off their disguises and the hoodie that they were wearing. They're wearing a white blouse that looks good on them. In addition to that, they're also wearing that stupid smug smirk on their face that also, unfortunately, looks good on them. After closing the door, they turn to you with their arms crossed, grinning as they speak.

"So looks like someone liked a pretty steamy edit of me in one of my older films." Hange says, their tone a matter-of-fact.

"Hange, I-I'm sorry if that weirded you out or anythi—“

"No, no. It didn't, don't worry about that. But I do want to know, though…" Hange cuts you off, leaning a bit closer again with their folded arms, the same way they stood when you accused their lovestruck gaze as mere acting. The same way they stood when you smelled their perfume the night of the premiere, only this time they smell a bit like a part of home.

Hange's lips curl up a bit slightly before they speak again.

"Tell me darling, was I a good actor there?" They ask, their voice low and raunchy, and you find you can't give an answer the way they just explicitly asked you such a bold question with such a tone, right after entering your apartment.

Your mouth remains hanging open as Hange chuckles softly, leaning a bit back to give you more space.

"Sorry, too much? But you do look cute all flustered like that. But really, you must've found it good if you liked such an old post of me like that."

It takes you a while to compose yourself. You sigh and let your shoulders down a bit.

"Fine, you were a good actor there. Happy?"

Hange nods, "Very. Although pestering you to the point of blushing about that post wasn't the only reason why I wanted to come here," Hange fixes their glasses before mumbling under their breath, "But it made for a very good reason, too."

"Okay… so why are you here exactly?"

"I wanted us to continue our conversation from that night. You know, the red carpet? movie premiere?" Hange looks at you warily, gauging your reaction to their words.

"Oh, when you were looking at me so dearly?" You say, your tone fully dipped in sarcasm.

"Exactly." Hange smiles at your remembrance of that night despite the sarcasm.

"Okay. What about it? Didn't I tell you to quit it?"

"You did, yes." Hange adjusts their stance, "It's just that I also told you that I wasn't acting."

"Right. So where are we going with this?"

"Darling." Hange sighs before looking into your eyes, "Is it not obvious how much I'm pining for you?"

You look at them warily but don't stop them from continuing.

"You know, ever since filming wrapped up, I just couldn't keep myself from being curious about you," Hange admits. From the way they look right now, so unsure and cautious of their own words, you wouldn't even be able to tell they're an actor with such a confident reputation.

"Well, honestly, even towards the end of filming, I think there were some obvious signs that I had some feelings for you," Hange adds, their hand scratching their nape bashfully, "But I think everyone was too busy on the project to notice. Including you, of course."

"Don't fuck with me," You tilt your head at them, still confused about their sudden admissions, your mind rejecting the fact that this confession will make you fall bit by bit for them, "You're acting."

"Do you think I'm acting?" Hange bows their head, a smile dancing on their lips.

They walk closer to you, taking in your hands as they speak in a soft voice.

"Maybe you think I'm acting, maybe you think I'm playing around," their thumb draws circles on the back of your hand, their touch light and soothing.

"Maybe you think I don't mean any of these words or these touches. But I'm not acting. I'm not playing around. I know I started liking you in the middle of production, but…" Hange locks their eyes with you, their gaze unwaveringly soft and stern.

"I tried my best not to let it show even during our time on set. I only acted a bit on my feelings after, and that was way after filming too."

"So you really are serious then…" You take a deep breath, looking down at your hands then were being held by Hange's before looking back up to meet their gaze. They nod their head with a smile.

"Yes, of course. I'm not messing with you. I'm not playing some kind of game with you. Why do you think I've been looking at edits of us? I'm not that egotistical, darling. I'm watching them because I… guess I wanted to see more of you. You don't even know how happy I was to see that news about your activity last night, with that edit of me," Hange chuckles.

"It's good to know you're serious… but shit, why tell me all of this now? We're in the middle of our promotion." You squeeze their hand a bit, furrowing your brows, "I was here worrying about how me liking that post would do to you or… ruin your reputation or something. And here you are confessing to me right after I did that."

"You didn't ruin anything," Hange chuckles lightly, "And, well, even if there's going to be some.. dating allegations after that…"

Hange chucks their head side to side, a smile playing on their lips.

"Well, they're just fan theories. Mere speculation. Just harmless gossip, don't mind them too much. Unless…" Hange ducks their head to meet your gaze once again, their eyes visible just below the frame of their glasses.

"Unless you want to disprove them, darling?" Hange chuckles again, "Because after all that confession I've been doing, I didn't exactly hear any rejections."

"Well…" You ponder for a second. You have had your eyes on them for a while now. And who knows, maybe it'll be fun, hiding this relationship for a bit, having Hange to yourself before the world's speculation proves themselves right. "I'm not rejecting you, no."

Hange smiles, a glint in their eyes appearing.

"Good, good." Hange kisses your hand softly. "So…" Hange straightens their posture and looks at you with a rather mischievous, playful look in their eyes.

"What do you say we recreate our confrontation scene and make our own spin on it?"

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666writingcafe · 2 months

Text

Questions (NB 14A)

A Side Chapter That Takes Place During Diavolo and MC's Impromptu Vacation After The Kingsblood Crucible

Slight NSFW Content Warning

I should have known this was coming. We've pretty much exhausted all other topics of conversations during our time here at the villa. Still, I didn't expect him to broach the subject so...abruptly. We were simply sitting outside and watching the sunset when he glances over at me and states calmly,

"So, you've fucked my butler." I nearly choke on my drink.

"I-Is that a bad thing?" I ask, setting it on the table between us.

"Not necessarily. I just want to know how it happened. He's normally not one to indulge in such pleasures." I pull up my text conversation with Barbatos on my D.D.D. and show it to Diavolo. He gently takes the phone away from me as he reads that particular string of texts between the two of us. When he finishes, he hands the phone back to me.

"I didn't realize you were attracted to each other," he remarks.

"He's a nice-looking man."

"That's all?" I nervously swallow.

"Well...we've managed to bond over metal music in both timelines. In fact, it's what led to it happening the first time."

"Really?" I nod, proceeding to tell him about the events leading up to and after the Severa concert I went to with my version of Barbatos.

"I see," he responds once I'm finished. "The main reason that I asked is because I've noticed Barbatos growing more attached to you. His scent's grown a lot stronger since your arrival, to the point where it seems as though he's not trying as hard to hide it as he once did." He briefly pauses before adding,

"It's also beginning to overpower yours, which is a bit of a shame. You smell nice." Out of context, this would be very creepy, but I know his comment is innocent enough.

"Is he this territorial over you in your timeline?"

"Not usually," I answer. "He was pretty handsy before the concert, but I think that's only because he felt like he could get away with it in that context, if that makes sense." Diavolo nods his head.

"He likes keeping his professional life separate from his personal." We each take sips out of our drinks. "So, obviously Solomon and you are like an unofficial married couple, but what's your relationship like with the others? Is it similar to what you have with Barbatos, or do you merely see them as friends and colleagues?" I swallow nervously. Having the future king of the Devildom wanting to know this aspect of my life is nerve-racking, to say the least. Would he think less of me after this?

"Well...to put it simply, I'm a wee bit of a whore when it comes to them." Diavolo hums lightly in response.

"Wouldn't have pegged you as the type."

"I didn't use to be, but then the exchange program happened, and as I got to know everyone, feelings naturally began forming, and one thing led to another, resulting in me wanting to engage in those activities more and more often."

"Interesting. Is there anyone in particular that you feel the most drawn to?"

"There's three."

"Including Solomon?" I nod my head. "And the other two?"

"Well...there's Lucifer." Another hum, this one deeper and more drawn out. As if he's displeased.

"That's always been a bit of a sore subject between us," I tell him. "In fact, I think that's part of why we really didn't get along at first. I felt like you were taking advantage of him, and you thought that I was taking him away from you." Diavolo sighs.

"Lucifer...he means a lot to me. He's unlike anyone I've ever met, which makes me all the more attracted to him. But even if I'm successful in implementing my goal of uniting the three realms, I doubt there would ever come a time where I'd..." He trails off, appearing to collect his thoughts.

"At the end of the day, I have to consider who'd be fit to rule by my side, and even if I didn't have to abide by tradition, I just don't think he has it in him to be able to do it successfully." Well, this is interesting. I was under the impression that he'd marry Lucifer in a heartbeat if he could. He certainly acted that way in my timeline.

"You seem confused," Diavolo observes. "Is the relationship I have with Lucifer that much different where you come from?"

"In a word, yes." He sighs again.

"The biggest problem is the mark. Its influence is making him act increasingly subservient towards me, and I want my future partner to feel like they're equal to me. If I'm being stupid, I'd want someone to tell me that and help me change my behavior. That wouldn't be possible if I'm constantly surrounded by yes men.

"As it is, it's difficult to find objective people. They're either too afraid or too enamored to stand up to me. My father used that to his advantage. I won't make that same mistake."

"I see." I'm a bit surprised that he's being so open about all this. I mean, it's not like I'm going to tell anyone, not even when I get back home, but still. My Diavolo and I have never been able to get this close. We've had deep conversations, sure, but never about this.

"So, Solomon and Lucifer. Who's number three?" I find myself hesitating to answer. It's not that I don't want to; I'm simply too nervous about his potential reaction to be able to form words.

"It's okay, MC. Just move your head. Sound good?" I nod.

"Is it a member of royalty?" Nod.

"Is it someone from the House of Lords?" Shake.

"Is it one of their servants?" A confused shake.

"We generally treat them as part of the royal family," he explains. "After all, they help ensure that things run smoothly for us." Nod.

"Is it someone that I'd know?"

"Kind of?" Oh, so now my mouth decides to work. Diavolo tilts his head and studies me. A couple minutes later, he gets up from his chair and walks over to me. Leaning over me, he gently lifts my chin up so that I'm looking directly into his eyes.

"Is it me?" His voice is much huskier than it was before, making my heart begin racing. I'm afraid to tell him the truth, but I also know that he's going to see right through whatever lie I tell him.

Might as well be honest with him. It'd be better than the alternative.

"Yes." He smiles softly.

"Good."

Good?

Diavolo's lips touch mine, causing my brain to shut off momentarily. He's pleasantly warm. Makes me all tingly inside.

Even though the kiss doesn't last very long, I still find myself slightly out of breath when he pulls away.

"Strange," he whispers, taking a step back to give me space.

"What?"

"I thought that would have satisfied my curiosity, but I..." Is he getting nervous?

"You were curious about me?" He nods.

"After I first told you about my trial, I had a vision. It appeared as a brief flash of color at first, but when I was able to focus on it, it showed you and me sitting beside each other on thrones. Your behavior at the Kingsblood Crucible proved to me that you'd be more than capable of ruling alongside me, but then I began wondering how we'd even get to that point in the first place. If the House of Lords didn't like me allowing the seven brothers to live here, then in what world would they accept me marrying a human?"

"That hasn't stopped you from broaching the subject before."

"I figured as much, but I still wanted to know why."

"And?" Diavolo takes a deep breath.

"You taste ridiculously sweet. It's awoken something in me, and I find myself wanting more. In fact, it's making it increasingly harder to concentrate on anything else."

Oh. Is this how the others feel about me? It'd certainly explain some of their behavior towards me; I'm like a drug to them. Whether it's due to my powers, my ancestry, or something else entirely, I'm not sure.

But that's not really that important right now.

"Do you want me to enable you, or stop you?" I ask Diavolo.

"I...I don't know." A blush develops on his face, and he suddenly seems unable to look at me. I'm not used to seeing this side of the prince, but I can't say I mind it. It's rather adorable.

"Do you trust me enough to make the decision for you?" He nervously swallows before nodding his head, and I get up from my chair and stand in front of him. Standing on the tips of my toes makes me just tall enough for me to kiss Diavolo.

The next thing I know, I'm sitting in his lap as we practically devour each other. At least that's something that stays consistent across time and space.

I'm sure both of us are going to be littered with marks by the time we're done.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch, @interconnectedmatrix

#obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me mc #obey me diavolo #obey me lord diavolo #obey me lucifer

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bad268 · 5 months

Note

Hello my friend! I've recently discovered your work for the frog boys and also saw you have requests open (if this isn't true anymore I'm terribly sorry!) I was wondering if you could write something about Pezzy (and maybe the rest of the frog house included if you want) playing horror games with his s/o? Have a good day!

Scared in Love (Frog Boys X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Miscellaneous

Requested: Clearly (I decided to make this part of [Blank] in Love. I could be read alone though. Thank you my friend <3)

Warnings: Horror games

POV: First Person (I/me)

W.C. 1027 (about 250 each)

Summary: Horror games are scary, who knew?

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

Technically can be read alone, but Part 4 <-

Puffer (At Dead of Night)

“This is stupid! All we’re doing is running from a bald guy,” I laughed as I controlled the movements in the game as we ran between rooms. Puffer had been asked to play At Dead of Night. Despite knowing he did not like horror games, he agreed as long as I was there for it. Neither of us had heard much of this game, and so far it was pretty boring. “Am I supposed to lock this door?”

“Maybe? Isn’t the guy chasing you?” Puffer answered as he leaned closer to the screen. He broke his glasses recently, so he was blind for this stream, and that’s the main reason he asked me to join. “Wait, why is that light flickering?”

“Like I know,” I scoffed as I immediately moved toward it. Nothing happened. “See chat, y'all just be hyping up this game, and it's plain.” I turned around in the game and jumped in my seat as some random person showed up. “Holy shit!”

“Dr. Bose was accused of the worst crime possible,” Puffer joked with mock seriousness. “We need to go to the ground floor now to see the police lights!” He took over the controls, again leaning close to the screen to see.

“Maybe you shouldn’t speed run out of the room,” I advised.

“Nah, we’ll be fine,” And almost like Jimmy was listening, he jumped out from around the corner to kill us. Puffer jumped back in his chair, causing it to fall back.

“What did I fucking say!?”

Pezzy (Doors)

“It’s Roblox. How scary can it possibly be?” were going to be my famous last words. I was sure of it.

“I swear to god if one more of these things pulls me out of the closet again, I will throw my controller at the screen!” I shouted as I died once again.

“Welcome to the club,” Pezzy laughed, “It only gets worse.”

“I’m going to cry,” I joked as I respawned. “This is literally torture! I did not agree to do this!”

“Yes, you did!” Leave it to Pezzy to pull up the receipts in the form of a text you sent him a while ago. He briefly showed it to the camera before clearing his throat, and imitating my voice, “I doubt it’s even that hard. I bet that I could speed run it faster than you.”

“I don’t remember saying that sober,” I admitted as I ran through the doors, ignoring Pezzy’s laugh. “I really don’t. In fact, I think a certain someone stole my phone and texted someone while we were drunk. I wouldn’t put it past you honestly.”

“I cannot believe you would accuse me of such a thing,” Pezzy gasped as he put a hand to his chest. “I seem to remember you bragging about not being scared of anything. You’re eating your words now, huh?”

“Never,” I said definitively. It didn’t last long as, almost immediately, the red skull thing chased me through the rooms. “I swear! PLEASE!”

Droid (FNAF Help Wanted)

“It’s not even that bad,” I laughed as I glanced at chat while Droid stood behind me playing Five Nights at Freddy’s: Help Wanted. I had played it before since I was practically a FNAF channel, so Droid made it his subgoal to play it when they hit 5,000 subs. Granted, he did not think it would happen that quickly. “Just wait until you get to the third game.”

“You’re kidding me!” He shouted as he frantically looked around the room. “There’s no way it gets worse than this! You’re capping!”

“Nah, you’re just a baby,” I laughed as a highlighted chat caught my eye.

“You should shove him.” it read. Thankfully, he could not read chat while in the game, so I took this as my opportunity. With a smirk, I stood up and walked around to stand behind Droid. Just as the music picked up in the game, I grabbed his shoulders and he was jumpscared. From me and the game as Bonnie jumped out at him.

He flung his arms back to try and drab me, but I ducked and ran back to my chair. He pulled the headset off and immediately glared at me. He let go of the joycons as he pointed and slowly approached me.

“I will murder you,” He joked as he leaned down to be at eye level with me. “I will threaten domestic violence live on Twitch.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” I joked back as I raised my eyebrows.

“WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! Nah, don’t even!”

Grizzy (GMod Horror Maps)

“I don’t like the squidward-looking thing or the witches,” I cried as I ran my character through the dark maze. “Why did you mod them in?”

“Because I knew you didn’t like them,” Grizzy laughed as his character followed mine around. “I can remove one of them if you want.”

“Please do,” I laughed as I purposely let myself get killed by Squidward, so I would respawn. Grizzy exited the game to fix the mod as I stayed on the call with him, entertaining his chat. Eventually, he got it changed but did not tell me what he put in.

“Can I know what was spawned?” I asked as I reloaded the game. I had to update it since the mods changed, and I got stuck on the loading screen for a minute. I thought he would have told me at that point, but no. When I loaded into the game, I saw a hoard of witches immediately. I slowly looked over to Discord to see Grizzy’s face cam, and of course, he’s got that malicious smile. “I will murder you.”

“You always say you could outrun the witches,” Grizzy laughed as his character also loaded it. As soon as he spawned, he threw a bomb at the group. “I’m testing you.”

I screamed as I ran my character the opposite way through the maze, “What the fuck is wrong with you!”

“See!? It’s not so easy, huh?” Grizzly laughed as he watched my character run. ”What are you mumbling?”

“California girls were unforgettable,” I said a little louder than before as my voice got higher. “Daisy dukes bikinis on top.”

~~~~~

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janmisali · 1 year

Text

FAQ

Q: wow, you're on tumblr?

A: that's not a question, but yeah, this is the Official blog of youtuber jan Misali. I also have my main blog @hbmmaster where I reblog stuff and make more low-effort text posts.

Q: wait, you're on youtube?

A: yeah, I make videos. for new viewers I recommend checking out the best of jan Misali playlist. for people who already watch and enjoy my videos I recommend watching my inspiration playlist, which is a curated selection of videos I personally keep finding myself coming back to.

Q: can you put your name and pronouns in this FAQ?

A: you can call me Mitch, jan Misali, or Misali. "jan" works too, just make sure not to capitalize it. I use he/they pronouns, with no strong preference between the two sets.

Q: when is [video you've announced] coming?

A: by asking this, you have delayed it by another month. sorry!

Q: when is [series that hasn't had a new installment in a while] returning?

A: when I want to go back to working on it, and no sooner

Q: are you going to make a video about [thing you mentioned in a post]?

A: no. some things are just posts

Q: I want to make something based on something you made. is that okay?

A: I'm not a cop. I broadly approve of any stuff people make that's derivative of my own work, as long as I'm given the appropriate amount of credit for it and you tell me about it once it's posted somewhere so I can see it. the only exceptions to this are if you're like just fully reuploading something I made (not cool!) or if it's something I'd disapprove of even if it wasn't derivative of my work (do not write fanfiction with me in it, or like, south park character AI covers of song translations I've made).

Q: you're into languages, right? how many languages do you speak?

A: none

Q: what font do you use in your videos?

A: Noto Serif

Q: what software do you use to make videos?

A: Google Slides and Audacity

Q: can you reblog the scoobypost again?

A: only if you ask nicely.

questions about "the /hj tone indicator is worse than useless" (March 2023)

Q: I think what /hj (half-joking) is supposed to mean is...

A: the reason I find /hj confusing is not, in fact, that not enough people have told me their own personal definitions of what they think it means. I do not need or want to hear any more, thank you.

Q: I think I get what the /oj anon was saying, it's something like...

A: I am not exaggerating by saying that I spent years coming up with interpretations of what the /oj anon could have meant. there is a 0% chance that I haven't at some point considered the exact interpretation you're suggesting. if you want to share your interpretation with someone, find a different person who thinks they understand it and tell them instead of me.

questions about "how many Super Mario games are there NOW?" (May 2024)

Q: will you release the full survey data?

A: no. the full survey data includes the anonymous comments of 5500 random people on the internet who didn't sign up for that.

Q: will you release an edited simplified version of the survey results?

A: I already did! it was in the form of a video called "how many Super Mario games are there NOW?"

Q: will you release the full survey data, but without the open answer sections?

A: no. the raw numbers are not in a comprehensible format, and it would take about as much work as it took to make the video itself to get them into a comprehensible format. I'm not doing that myself, and I'm certainly not going to allow other people to do that on their own just so they can find out what I decided wouldn't be worth mentioning in the two-hour video. if you have a specific question about the results, ask that question instead.

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accirax · 7 months

Text

Elliot Cuevas Lore Check (Yoidoreshirazu MV Analysis)

After the intellectuals in our community had the thought to check the description of DRDTdev’s latest MV masterpiece, one fact became pretty clear: DRDT’s sparkly new MV is not fronted by one of our main cast of sixteen, or even a particularly pre-established side character. Instead, it’s time for Elliot Cuevas to take the stage, and bring with him a lot of questions ranging from “wait, that’s what he looks like?” to “wait, is the killing game predicated on a basis of lies?!” There’s… a lot running through my mind right now, and I see no better way to process it than to start answering the questions that I and others may have as best I can through a theory post. I’m living!

And when I say “answering the questions,” I mean that quite literally. I think that the best way to frame this analysis is to divide it into headlining questions, and tackle what we know and what we can learn piece by piece. Therefore, I think the most obvious question we can start with is:

#1: Who is Elliot Cuevas?

We don’t have a ton of information about the guy, but I’ve tried to compile what we do. By far the most information we’d gotten on Ellie prior to this MV was from the Chapter 2 Part 1 Q&A, where DRDTdev described a little about all of the major siblings we’d heard of so far. Here’s what DRDTdev said:

So, we know that Elliot was given the nickname “Ellie” (and presumably likes it, given that he’s credited in the MV as “Ellie”), and he looks really similar to Charles, which we also saw in the MV. Given how similar he looks to Charles, I’m going to assume that they’re biological brothers, which would make Ellie hispanic/latino. Similarly, I’m assuming that he identifies as male, due to his use of he/him pronouns and the term “brother” being applied to him. He likes pancakes and dogs, which… we’ll get back to later. Charles is stated to be 18+ at the start of Despair Time, which would make Ellie 29-32+ if he were alive today. Which… huh. Is he?

#2: Is Ellie alive?

The belief that Ellie is dead isn’t just a popular headcanon that metamorphosed into “fact”– his death is directly referenced in the text in the form of Charles’ secret. Your older brother, Elliot, died.

However, this MV does make it tempting to believe that Ellie could be alive, so let’s give it the benefit of the doubt for a moment. If Ellie is alive, there are two sets of two questions to consider.

Question #1: If Ellie is alive, why did people think he died?

Ellie was in a life threatening scenario that people believed he didn’t escape from, but he did. After this, he either took the opportunity to disappear, or something prevented him from reuniting with his loved ones.

Ellie did die, and the DRDT universe contains some sort of necromantic magic or time travel properties that could bring him back to life.

Question #2: If Ellie is alive, why does the secret say that he’s dead?

Whoever wrote the secrets (likely the mastermind) did so intending to tell the truth. They learned the information from a source that led them to believe that Ellie had died, and if Ellie turned up alive, they would be just as surprised as everyone else.

Whoever wrote the secrets (likely the mastermind) did so intending to lie. They knew that Ellie was really alive, and included his “death” in the secret just to fuck with Charles. This could also imply that other students’ secrets incorporate some level of lies.

If Ellie is alive, I think that the #1 situation is more likely for both questions.

If Ellie is dead, we don’t know exactly when his death happened. Given that Charles cites it under the umbrella of “childhood amnesia,” we can pin Ellie’s hypothetical death down to a time when Charles was a child. The National Institute of Health defines childhood as 3-11 years old. So, if Ellie died when Charles was 3-11, it would mean Ellie’s age of death would fall between 14 and 23.

I made this little moodboard to try to piece together around what age Ellie might be depicted as in the MV based on how DRDTdev has drawn people of various ages before. This is important under the assumption that Ellie canonically looked like this at some point during his life. ‘Cause (picking obviously wrong numbers here), if Ellie had died when he was, like, 2, it’d be weird if the MV showed him when he was, like, 50, right?

Allow me to take a little detour to discuss the Nageishi sisters and establish their ages. I initially ballparked Arei’s age as around 13 in that picture, which would have made her sisters (who are 2-5 years older than her) 15-18. However, there’s some actual evidence we can pull upon to clarify when that image might have come from.

In Arei and J’s FTE, J says that Arei “definitely [*was*] a highschool bully,” and Arei confirms that she was “the queen of her school.” Assuming that these two are to be believed, we can estimate based on the average age at which an American enters high school as a freshman that Arei has been a bully since at least around 14. While I don’t necessarily expect that Arei came in and became the queen bee on the first day of freshman year, it certainly would have been easier to establish her reign if the other students hadn’t previously seen her being bullied and tortured for a year or so beforehand. Therefore, Arei is probably in a maximum of eighth grade (12-13) in that image, so that she would have had enough time to sabotage her sisters before entering high school.

Additionally, although it isn’t stated in the secret the killing game handed out, Arei confesses to David and Teruko that she “got [her sisters] unlawfully sent to reform school.” Through a bit of googling, I learned that many reform schools cap out at about 16-17 years old, although it’s impossible to confirm that without knowing which state Arei grew up in. If that’s the case, then Fuyuko and Natsuko could only be a maximum of 17 years old, which is in the same sort of age range as Arei being a maximum of 15 in that picture. However, I don’t know if the Nageishi parents/the government would find it too useful to send the sisters to reform school for only one year, so it seems more likely that they’re younger than that in the picture. I might ballpark that Arei is 12 and Fuyuko and Natsuko are 15 in the picture.

Anyways, I think we can definitely rule out the possibility of Ellie dying when Charles was on the lower end of the age spectrum. He looks way older than any of the characters drawn “when they were kids”, and notably older than Arei as well. To me, he also looks older than Ryan, meaning he probably reached the age of an 18+ adult.

Unfortunately, there’s a really large age range that’s gone undepicted between the “18+” killing game participants and Mariabella, the only “parent-aged” adult we’ve seen so far. I would probably put Ellie’s appearance between the two, but it’s also possible that his unkempt hair and eyebags are making him look older than he actually was, a la Syobai Hashimoto of SDRA2 (the link is a spoiler-free picture of him). Syobai’s exact age is unknown, but generally young, yet many people think he’s an old man when they first see him. That phenomenon could be going on with Ellie as well.

If he is, we’ll say, 20 or older, though, there’s a limited number of ages he could have died at that would still fall within Charles’ childhood. If Ellie died, he did so when Charles was in the 8-11 kind of age range. Otherwise, for Ellie to reach the age he’s shown at in the MV, he probably survived to grow older than Charles’ family last remembers him. I think Ellie’s death is probably more likely, but, hey, that means we’ve narrowed down the period in which Charles could have acquired his childhood amnesia. That’s something!

#3: How does Charles feel about Ellie?

Well, okay. Obviously, in the current day, Charles doesn’t know who Ellie is, and therefore probably doesn’t have any strong feelings about him other than confusion. But, before Charles forgot about him, what was Charles’ opinion?

I actually thought that Charles really admiring Ellie was a canon fact, but looking back at it, I don’t think it was ever directly stated. That said, there are several reasons why I thought that their relationship was a positive one.

Told you we’d come back to Ellie liking pancakes! I’m sure it’s not a coincidence that, when Charles thinks of what he’d like to learn how to cook, he comes up with Ellie’s favorite food. It could be that Ellie used to make pancakes for Charles, or that they simply used to go out and get pancakes together, but Charles clearly has some sort of repressed memories about pancakes with his brother that makes him want to seek them out again.

We already knew that Charles and Ellie were known to look very alike, and this MV confirmed that was true, down to the length of their hair. If Charles didn’t like Ellie, he easily could have kept his hair short, like the haircut he had as a child, as a way to make them look less similar. However, Charles is very attached to keeping his hair in a long ponytail, just as Ellie wears it. That implies to me that Charles saw Ellie as enough of a role model to seek replicating the image of his brother through his own style even when he doesn’t remember that Ellie existed. That’s powerful.

#4: Why does Ellie look… like that?

Now this is a point that I’m still confused about. Charles’ affluent backstory has been alluded to multiple times. Both his inability to do his own laundry and his lack of knowledge in the kitchen imply that he had people to cook and clean for him. It’s possible that Charles’ parents were the ones doing that for him (which implies some level of wealth, but not so much as living in a house full of butlers and maids), but the general vibe I’ve gotten is that Charles’ family was well-off enough that they hired help.

If we assume that Charles and Ellie are biological brothers who spent enough time together to form a notable bond, it really seems like they would have grown up in the same household for both of their youths, together. So then, what gives with Ellie’s appearance? The patched up jacket, blemished face, and basic cigarette don’t match at all with the pristine white mansion with hedges that many might imagine for Charles. How would that have played out?

Option A: Ellie was the family’s rebellious wild child

I’m having trouble coming up with good examples, but there’s definitely a trope out there of a big brother character who’s a bit of a rude rebel, but still a pure-hearted dreamer that their younger sibling(s) can really look up to. Ellie was just the member of the uptight Cuevas family that couldn’t be tamed, no matter how hard his parents tried to cramp his thrifty style or stop him from going out and partying(?).

Notably, this option is quite confusing for Charles. Even if this figure is considered the typical epitome of cool, I don’t know if it’s someone who Charles would really gel with. As a child, Charles is depicted as pretty wide-eyed and innocent with his adorable little bubbles. I’m not saying that that kind of kid couldn’t come to idolize their rockstar big bro– just that, if they did, they probably wouldn’t turn out like Charles. Still, it could be an opposites attract situation, or perhaps forgetting Ellie and the ensuing trauma changed Charles more than we would have expected.

This interpretation is also… a bit of a leap, considering what we’ve seen of Ellie.

Like, these are not particularly the expressions of a thrill-seeking party animal who loves to crack open a cold one with the boys. Most of his expressions look wary, scary, or contemplative, and even the two that are smiling are doing so in more of a wry/teasing way. Fun-loving scamp Ellie might fit the way he’s styled his body, but not so much the expressions on his face. Perhaps the characterization was a little off?

Option B: Ellie was the family’s edgy black sheep

Instead of Ellie’s cigarette and messy ponytail implying that he’s supposed to be punk and cool, perhaps they’re meant to indicate that he was more emo and nihilistic. I don’t imagine that the Cuevas household would’ve liked this too much either, but it’s still a plausible way for a privileged teen to rebel against his family system. This kind of attitude matches more with the range of expressions we can gather from Yoidoreshirazu.

However, if it would be hard for Charles to relate to the last guy, I have no idea what Charles would be doing looking up to this guy. Maybe if their one-on-one moments showed Charles the soft heart behind Ellie’s tough exterior, Charles would’ve come to appreciate his perspective on life…? Yeah, I don’t really imagine these two enjoying a plate of pancakes together, either. Also, this would have been when Charles was, like, a kindergartener.

But if that’s the case, what then? Is my image of the Cuevas household just totally off? Or is this version of Ellie not compatible with the Cuevas household at all?

Option C: Ellie was kicked out of his family and left for dead

Especially in front of the grimy brick background and neon street sign, Ellie’s worse-for-wear appearance did make me think that this image of him could have been taken from a time when Ellie was without a home and living on the streets. As in, this look was never associated with the Cuevas household at all.

This option has some definite appeal because it allows a lot more flexibility from Ellie’s personality before he was kicked out. He could have been a stand-up guy, smart like Charles and a great mentor too, and only have adopted his more dour personality once he was kicked out of home. There are plenty of reasons why someone could be disowned that don’t (necessarily) reflect poorly on their character: Google lists being LGBTQ+, dating someone of a different race or religion, getting someone pregnant, or not following the profession your parents wanted for you as possibilities, depending on who the parents are and what they believe.

Any interpretation where the Cuevas parents are somewhat ashamed of Ellie would also help to rationalize why Mr. and Mrs. Cuevas lied to Charles about being an only sibling. If they really loved Ellie, they might have tried to bridge the subject with Charles one day, and not let the memory of their elder son fade into history. If he was someone they didn’t want to associate with in the first place, covering up his death would have been much more emotionally viable.

So, if the Cuevas parents are the kind of people to disown their kid for less-than-fair reasons, Ellie could have still been the kind of treasured big brother figure to Charles one might have expected while also getting kicked to the curb. However, this option raises the definite question of… how did Ellie’s death happen?

On the surface, that might seem like a strange question. Sadly, homeless people in the United States have an average life span that’s 17.5 years shorter than the average housed person’s life span, and the number of deaths have only been increasing in recent years. Especially in a civilization that was once home to the biggest, most awful, most tragic event in human history, trying to survive without a home might be quite difficult.

All that doesn’t really apply to Ellie, though, because we have a pretty decent lead on how he died: dog attack.

Even if he might not remember why, Charles dislikes dogs, and has a remnant of that turbulent relationship etched into his very skin. Ellie actually likes dogs, an interesting point of contrast, but one that makes it clear that dogs are important to Charles’ backstory in some manner. I and others have then speculated that the attack in which Charles got that scar on his arm may have been the time at which Ellie died. Both events– the attack that created the scar and Ellie’s passing– were erased by his childhood amnesia.

The story would play out as something along the lines of “Ellie and Charles used to both really love dogs, and were approached by a dog one day. However, that dog was feral, and attacked Charles. He was bitten on the arm before Ellie told Charles to run as Ellie stayed behind to protect his brother. However, Ellie couldn’t fend off the dog himself, and was instead mauled to death. Charles escaped with an injured arm and a head full of trauma that would cause him to fully erase the memory of his brother from his mind.” Don’t know how feasible that exact scenario is, but I always imagined it as something like that.

So, if Ellie was living on the street at the time of his death, how would the two of them have come together for the dog to attack? Maybe Charles could have been visiting Ellie on his own, but, again, he would have been 8-11 years old at the time. Would the 8-11 year old Charles have really had the means or motive to set out alone to see his brother, and would the Cuevas family have really let their elementary school-aged son wander off into the streets alone?

Then there’s the issue of Ellie’s age again. Look. I’m not trying to say that every 23 year old should be able to 1v1 a feral dog in a fight. I’m 23, and if I had to fight a street dog to the death, I would probably lose! However, while I am a quiet nerd who likes to write thousand word essays about anime video game fanfiction characters in her free time, Ellie seems like a fairly athletic young man. If he looks like Charles, he’s also probably around Charles’ height of 5’9”. Plus, it probably didn’t have to be to the death. Couldn’t Ellie have used those long legs to run away, or his human hands to make an improvised weapon, or something? To me, it feels much more plausible for Ellie to have been killed in a dog attack if he were also a child/teen when it happened. But, that should be incompatible with his appearance in the MV. Unless–

Option D: Ellie became this way… after he was “dead”?

Wait, what? No, wait, I thought I had already determined that Ellie was dead! What do you mean it might ACTUALLY MAKE MORE SENSE IF HE WAS ALIVE??? WHAT HAS THIS MV COME TO?! AAAAAAAAAA–

Well. If this version of Ellie is what he “became” after he faked his death (or had it faked for him), certain elements start to line up. There is no conflict with the Cuevas family, because Ellie’s personality could have been completely different than what we see in Yoidoreshirazu. Similarly, we don’t have to solve why Charles would have built such a bond with this guy because this guy may not have existed when he was interacting with Charles. The brothers growing up in a household together would make it considerably easier for them both to encounter a mean dog at the same time. And, if Ellie didn’t have to reach this 20+ age before he disappeared from Charles’ life, the whole story could have been set much earlier, such that Ellie could have been fending the dog off when he was more of a kid or teen himself. Then, being separated from his family and presumed dead is what caused Ellie to lose his faith in life, take up his smoking habit, and hardly be able to sleep or smile.

This could still involve him being forced to live on the streets, although I would then wonder why he didn’t ever try to get back in contact with his family. Maybe he did and they turned him away? But, if he was an admirable son, I see no reason why they would do that. Perhaps he had expressed a bit more discontentment with the Cuevas family prior, and decided that, given this opportunity, it was for the best to sever his ties with them? That seems like a pretty extreme decision to keep up with given the state that Ellie seems to have wound up in, and would call into question how much Ellie cared about Charles if he was so willing to leave him behind.

It would kind of make more sense to me if, in this scenario, an outside force was stopping Ellie from reuniting with his family– for instance, if XF-Ture Tech offered Ellie a deal like they did to Min (somewhat forcing his hand), which included that he could never contact his family again. That could certainly make Ellie more important to the plot moving forward, and explain part of why he even got this MV. But, what would XF-Ture Tech want to do with some kid who was just near-fatally mauled by a dog attack? An near-fatal attack that… he doesn’t even seem to have scars on his face, neck, or right hand from???

Option E: this is how ellie looks in heaven or hell or whatever i don’t freakin know

Some of you may have been screaming at me the entire time that Ellie’s design may not be “canon,” so to speak, and you know what? That’s valid. It could simply be a projection of what Ellie could have looked like if he’d ever grown to this point in age, or his appearance may have been modified to better match Gumi’s disheveled vibe in the original Yoidoreshirazu MV, and not reflect his true personality. Ellie and Gumi do have really similar poses, cigarettes and all.

However, it would seem a little odd to me to give the audience what’s basically an AU design of Ellie before we got the original version. That would lead to insanely wrong conclusions like what I just wrote above if true, which could potentially cause people to interpret future content incorrectly. That’s not good. Besides, the song was still chosen for Ellie, and the song carries the same sort of gritty, nightlife vibe that the Gumi design does. Could the lyrics of the song really fit Ellie so well that the entire energy of the song and appearance of the MV could be waived?

#5: What’s up with these lyrics?

Sigh. I hate to move on to the next talking point when I haven’t yet resolved what we were last discussing, but, to be honest, I don’t know if I can resolve why Ellie looks and acts like that with the information we currently have. I’m kind of banking on the lyrics swaying me in the right direction when it comes to that interpretation, but given that I’m probably going to have to reverse engineer a lot of the lyrics’ meaning, I don’t have high hopes.

Well, we’ve already seen how I think these lyrics would apply to Rose, so how do I think they would fit Ellie? More questions ahead, but please note that I may be taking certain lyrics more specifically than they’re meant to be interpreted. I don’t have much else to go off of, so for the sake of gaining pretty much any knowledge I kinda have to assume the lyrics are total slam dunks.

#6: What can we learn about Ellie’s personality?

I woke up as an unaware drunkard All of this bickering goes on til the dawn comes

Ellie wakes up and immediately begins to complain. Unless he’s bickering with himself, he isn’t alone, although that doesn’t necessarily mean he has friends. In the original song, I imagine this lyric to be more about passersby or the general state of the world, so it could be the same case for Ellie.

In Ellie’s case, it’s unclear exactly what being a “drunkard” means. It could just be the literal interpretation, where Ellie is an alcoholic. I wouldn’t know. Being a drunkard could also extend to being an addict in general— we can be pretty certain that Ellie is a smoker (unless see Option E above). It could also be that the “drunkard” part of the phrase is less important and it’s more just about being unaware. Although, that would require further interpretation for later lines like “getting drunk again and again,” and Drunkard is also half of the song’s title (“An Unaware Drunkard”). Still, Elliot could be enveloped in the same sort of general haze I described back when I gave this song to Rose. Or, he could literally just be a guy that likes to drink a lot. Either way, it gives off the impression of someone who spends more time centered in his own world than butting into others’ businesses.

The singing voices are uncountable And once one gets lost in them, they end up at your xx Hey, look at how pretty it is, the day dream rondo I hide a thousand and can only spit out ten

More introvert coding– he really doesn’t like being in large groups of people. Ellie keeps the same pretty neutral expression throughout all of these lines in the MV, which makes it kind of hard to discern exactly what these statements mean for him. Like, is “look how pretty it is” supposed to show how he’s easily distracted by dreams and frivolous things, or how he’s using positive things to distract those around him from how he “hides a thousand and can only spit out ten”? In either case, that latter line seems to imply that Ellie is dissatisfied with whatever he’s doing in life (or death?) right now– “can only spit out” makes me think that he feels he should be doing more.

Giving in, I’m living Getting drunk again and again, unexpectedly- Ah, it's not half bad

Ah, the infamous screenshot from the presumed dead man. This smirky face gives some definite context for the attitude of these lines. Ellie seems smug or proud that he’s living… because he’s beating the death allegations? Well, it could also be that he just enjoys living a life of sin (smoking and drinking), and/or enjoys defying the expectations of the Cuevas family in this way. There’s also a certain irony to saying “I’m living” while flaunting a cigarette in his hand. Ellie may also be someone who enjoys tempting fate and defying the odds.

Ellie’s facial expressions with these lines make me believe that he actually thinks that getting drunk again and again is pretty cool, and it’s not just a deflection from a tumultuous mind. Which, again, begs the question of whether the “drinking” is literal, or a metaphor for something else. With not much other information to go off of, I’m kind of assuming it’s both at the moment. Ellie (in this state) probably is someone who drinks and enjoys doing it, but also someone who doesn’t feel any guilt over ignoring– or forgetting– his problems.

#7: Did Ellie also forget about Charles?

There are a strange number of lines in this song that could imply that Ellie isn’t just being ignorant, he’s actually forgetting about something big. That something could be the memory of his younger brother, just like how Charles forgot the memory of his elder. Runs in the family, I guess?

I woke up as an unaware drunkard

Starting at the very first line, you could begin to view the lyrics through the lens of someone who lacked information about their past: “Elliot woke up somewhere random mostly forgetting who he was in a hazy state of being.” To be clear, I’m not saying that that’s the interpretation of the line, just an interpretation of the line. It’s an interpretation that builds further connections with later lyrics, though.

And then The sacred mountain is covered in mud, it’s smeared and chipping away, ah yes, it's not half bad

That's my muddy, obstructed, and broken vision of the future- It’s not half bad

These lines focus on something being damaged or broken. Ignoring the original song’s references to Mount Penglai, which are completely absent from this MV, I would interpret a character’s “sacred mountain” as their central motivation. The pursuit of this goal would be very important, or “sacred” to them, and just as majestic as it is difficult to traverse and achieve. That pairs well with Ellie losing his view of the future, as both indicate that he’s completely forgotten what his purpose in life is.

And yet, he insists that it’s not half bad. Why? The most likely reason is that, for whatever reasons made him look like this, Ellie has just adopted the same sort of fatalistic behavior as Gumi did in her MV. However, you also might not think that forgetting something was bad if you ever forgot that you forgot it. For the majority of his life, Charles hasn’t thought that forgetting Ellie was a terrible ordeal because he had no clue that Ellie even existed. For Ellie, it could be frightening to know that you’ve forgotten a lot of who you are, but also freeing. That dichotomy could be what resulted in his current pensive yet playful behavior.

Getting drunk again and again, unexpectedly- Ah, it's not half bad I'm a drunkard unaware of my rival in love, so

I'm a drunkard unaware of the story

These lines are ones that really made me think that Ellie could have forgotten Charles in particular. I’m really not sure what “rival in love” was supposed to mean in the original song, but for Ellie, that rival being his brother makes sense. He doesn’t have a lover, as far as we’re aware, but he may have had to fight against Charles for his parents’ affections in the past. Many siblings have a competitive relationship with one another, so Charles could also be described as a rival who Ellie loves. Charles is an easy stand-in for “the story” as well, as long as we assume that the main plot of the killing game is considered “the story.” Charles is a major player in the killing game who’s already been going on a major story arc of his own, and, being Ellie’s little brother, it would make sense if Ellie’s priorities in the story were Charles-focused were he aware of the killing game.

What would it mean if Ellie had forgotten Charles, though? It seems most likely to me that, if both brothers came to forget one another, the trauma would have stemmed from the same event. But, if Charles forgot about Ellie because of that dog attack, Ellie could have only had time to forget who Charles was if he survived for long enough after the attack to have that revelation. Also, don’t know how important this is, but if the attack gave Charles childhood amnesia, would it have had the same effect on a 20+ year old man? I don’t know enough about amnesia to know if the same circumstances that would cause a child to discard their memories would also result in an adult forgetting about aspects of their life. Then again, Ellie almost certainly suffered greater damage than Charles, so any aftereffects may have been more severe.

I obviously can’t declare with 100% certainty that Ellie forgot who Charles was, nor can I even get particularly close. Still, these strange threads seemed to be too prominent to ignore, and this was the best solution I could find to them with the information we know now.

#8: Who is “you”?

Twice in Yoidoreshirazu’s lyrics does the singer reference a character as “you.”

Neglecting my happiness, I never want to sober up until it's time to listen to your voice I’m giving into you, but you don’t even have anything to say and my body is dyed

Please don't let this fleeting happiness go away, until I can lend an ear by your side I’m giving into you, but you don’t even have anything to say and my heart is dyed

This person is quite important to the singer, as the singer craves their voice and succumbs to their person, their body and soul colored by the experience. And yet, there’s a sense of isolation, as “you” refuses to say anything back to the singer. It’s a classic tale of immense devotion met with quiet rejection for Ellie to partake in with… someone. I don’t know who.

For what it’s worth, I do think the lyrics imply that this is another human person as opposed to, say alcohol. While alcohol can certainly have a profound impact on a person, causing their happiness to come and go and changing aspects of their physicality, “you” is referred to with enough human traits that it doesn’t match up. Maybe anthropomorphized alcohol could have a voice, but when has it ever needed you to listen to it? To my knowledge, lending an ear to the bottle itself is pretty unheard of.

So, is “you” Charles? That makes some sense, as Charles is the only relevant character to Ellie’s story that we know much about. Based on what we’ve already established about Ellie and Charles’ probable bond, Ellie could definitely fit the devoted older brother character in one flavor or another. But then, why would Charles have rejected him? Could be the whole childhood amnesia thing, but then Ellie would have had to exist during a period of time when Charles had already developed the amnesia and also remember who Charles was enough himself to care. Charles could have also just not liked him much, but that contradicts with the evidence presented back at Question 3.

Honestly, I don’t think Charles is “you,” despite my lack of other options. Perhaps “we” can figure this out?

worn out, we all look horrible until all thousand voices become hoarse

Yeah, there’s also a “we” in Yoidoreshirazu, which furthers the idea that, wherever he is/was, Ellie isn’t alone. The lyrics make it unclear whether the “we” is the singer + you (and maybe others), or just the singer + others– I’d probably lean that it probably wasn’t meant to include “you” in the original, but who knows how DRDTdev chose to interpret the song. Still, as alcohol isn’t normally described as “looking horrible,” this further implies that there are other human characters referenced in Ellie’s MV. In the case of “we,” Ellie also has to associate with these people enough to include himself as part of them. He’s in a group. Why? How? When?

#9: What differences are there between this MV and the original?

This one goes out to all the people who thought to go back and check the original Literature Girl Insane MV for differences while we were dealing with that whole project! It inspired me to try the same thing here, and see what happened.

Yoidoreshirazu is a much easier task than LGI, though, because it’s a simpler song and MV on all fronts. Both MVs only portray one character, one location, and one color for the lyrics to be transcribed in. (There’s also only, like, a max of twelve words on screen at a time, unlike David’s mental library.) For the most part, the two Yoidoreshirazus are very similar. None of the lyrics were edited from Magenetra’s translation on the vocaloid lyrics wiki, the lights turn on and off at the same times, and the DRDT version doesn’t appear to include any additional puzzles or easter eggs. Still, they aren’t exactly the same, so I’ll write out the differences I found playing them side by side for both my own and others’ purposes.

Gumi is on screen at the start, then quickly disappears and comes back, while it takes Ellie until the lyrics start to appear.

Not much extra to explain on this point. It may indicate that Ellie was missing or absent for a longer period of time, or at least that he’s more mysterious/quiet than Yoidoreshirazu’s Gumi.

Gumi has her tongue out a lot more at the beginning of the song.

Before Ellie takes off his hood (so, basically for the first half of the song), he only sticks his tongue out for one part of the song, from 0:52 (“getting drunk again and again”) to 0:59 (“my rival in love”). Meanwhile, Gumi has her tongue out from the moment the lyrics start (0:09, “I woke up as an unaware drunkard”) to the end of the first stanza (0:25, “all thousand voices become hoarse”), and then does it again from 0:43 to 0:59, the entirety of the first chorus (“the sacred mountain” to “rival in love”). This gives Gumi the appearance of being more rebellious, while Ellie is more moody.

Gumi smiles a lot more than Ellie.

When Gumi returns from the first chorus (1:00), she’s already smiling. While she shifts from a satisfied smirk to a smug grin to an enraptured beam to a content smile, she doesn’t actually stop smiling from the minute mark on until the vocals stop (2:10). Meanwhile, Ellie doesn’t smile at all until 1:50, and drops the playful tongue-out expression after a mere six seconds. The only lines that Ellie smiles for are “I’m living / Getting drunk again and again– Ah, it’s not half bad,” which is quite interesting. The overall result is the same as the bullet point above; that Gumi is at least better at pretending to be happy while Ellie is lost in his sorrows.

Ellie and Gumi’s expressions are pretty different in general.

Here are all of Ellie’s expressions versus all of Gumi’s expressions. In the end, Gumi actually had more expressions, which I wasn’t expecting. Some of their faces are mirrors to each other, while others are different.

Both Ellie and Gumi have a serious eyes closed face, a bored/neutral face, a bored tongue-out face, a scary face with big eyes, and a sleazy grin. The only unique faces Ellie has on top of those are the more playful tongue-out smile (present only when his hood is off) and the contemplative downward gaze. Gumi has a knowing smile, a hopeful smile, and a content smile. With those differences, we conclude that, on the whole, Gumi seems to have a bit more hope in the world, while Ellie is downcast. I’m sure you couldn’t have guessed that by the results of the last two points (/s).

Ellie has a costume change.

Not hard to notice; Ellie takes his hood off mid-MV while Gumi keeps her outfit the same.

There’s a part of the song where Ellie disappears while Gumi is present.

If anything in this question is going to be important, it’s probably this tidbit. At 1:39 in DRDT Yoidoreshirazu and 1:37 in original Yoidoreshirazu, the line “and my heart is dyed” plays. At this point in the MV, Gumi is present on screen, but Ellie is not. Gumi then disappears alongside Ellie for the following “sore wa” before both reappear for the chorus, but the difference is still notable. Something about the line “and my heart is dyed” caused DRDTdev to remove Ellie from the MV when he otherwise should have been there. This could mean that Ellie’s absence is what caused his heart to be dyed, that Ellie was actually absent when the heart dying occurred, or something else. Regardless, the difference in visuals– especially one that leaves the lyrics as the only thing on screen for you to look at– means that “and my heart is dyed” is likely the most important lyric of the song for Ellie.

Ellie is doing a whole lot more in the final chorus.

This is probably why I thought that Ellie had more sprites than Gumi did, other than the whole two outfits thing. Throughout the entire second chorus, Gumi only uses one face, the smile with big eyes. Meanwhile, Ellie rotates through four different faces before returning to the one he started with; scary stare -> neutral -> eyes closed -> grin -> tongue-out smile -> scary stare. It gives Ellie a whole lot more character than Gumi had in that final portion. Granted, the inverse is also true: Ellie switched faces less frequently than Gumi at the beginning of the song. It leads me to believe that the lyrics at the end of the song may be more important to Ellie than the lyrics of the start, as the end is featured as the most memorable portion.

#10: So, um… What did we learn, exactly?

Honestly… I don’t know. Unlike the Chapter 2 murder, which is intended to be basically solvable, or even the characters’ secrets, which have had much revealed with minimal possible permutations, so little has been confirmed about Ellie that it makes it near impossible to settle on one answer as absolute truth. I can write out my current best theory about what may be going on with Ellie, but it’s honestly so implausible that I don’t really think it’s going to be canon myself.

If we prioritize the information given to us in this music video and the Q&As and disregard the effects that our conclusion might have on the story of DRDT as a whole, then I think the most likely option was actually Option D, Ellie became this way after he died. I think that Ellie was a bright young man– maybe not perfect, but still an older brother that Charles could look up to. Ellie and Charles were really close when Charles was a little kid, and they loved to hang out and eat pancakes together.

One day– maybe when Charles was about 4 and Ellie was about 16?– Ellie saw a dog on the side of the road and, loving dogs, brought his baby brother over to say hi to it. Unfortunately, the dog was feral and mean, and it bit Charles on the arm, injuring him greatly. Defending Charles, Ellie attacked the dog and told Charles to run away for safety. Charles made it back to his parents, bleeding and horribly traumatized, while Ellie did not. Ellie never came back home, so his parents had no choice but to assume he was dead. They chose to conceal the existence of their elder son from their younger, whether to avoid triggering Charles’ phobias or because they too wished him erased from the history books.

However, even though the world believed that Ellie had died, he actually survived! Though, not in one piece. He was probably severely wounded (perhaps leaving behind scars on any part of his body that wasn’t shown in the MV), and, just like his brother, suffered amnesia that caused him to forget who he was. From there, it depends on how he would have survived the dog attack.

If he barely emerged victorious from the battle due to his own power, then, with no memories, he was forced to live on the street. He gained his washed-up attitude from experiencing life’s hardships while being right on the cusp of remembering something more.

If he received aid from and then was indebted to a group like XF-Ture Tech, he may have been given some kind of help, but not without a cost. He probably started working for them in some capacity, even if he wasn’t a fan of his work/coworkers, and gained his washed-up attitude from years of nihilistically supporting the shady company.

The MV takes place in a time close to present day, when Ellie is reflecting on the state of his life and what he does remember. He hates the people he’s surrounded by, and can only lean on his bad habits (substance abuse and/or appearing more uncaring/airheaded than he actually is) to get by. He knows that he’s a shell of a person with no memories of his past or aspirations for his future, but there isn’t really anything he can do about it, right…? The vague memories of a “rival in love” and a main “story” are the only things giving him a taunting yet unerasable hope.

Woohoo, drama. But, like, that’s ridiculous, right? The secret literally said that Ellie was dead! How the hell could he still be alive? Did the mastermind’s source– whatever it was– just have the facts wrong, or are they actually lying? Wouldn’t the Cuevas family have looked harder for the body? Does amnesia even work like that? Does XF-Ture Tech even work like that???

Needless to say, I am still quite confused. The answer above is still the answer that makes the most sense to me, but it also has its own obvious flaws. I feel like I must just be straight up wrong about the identity of the Cuevas family, the method of Ellie’s death, the age at which Ellie appears in this MV, or something like that, but I don’t know what it would be. Even more than usual, I’d love to hear everyone else’s thoughts on this mysterious character. I feel like more analysis of the guy is going to come out soon, so hopefully some of the more numerical data like trying to pin down Ellie’s age or noticing the differences in the two MVs will help someone else make a breakthrough. Still, I encourage you to come forth with anything you have to say, because I want to hear it.

Thus concludes your instructional pamphlet on how to write an essay on a music video at a rate of 54 words per second of the music video. Thanks for reading!

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt spoilers #elliot cuevas #charles cuevas #fanganronpa #yoidoreshirazu mv #i “finished” the analysis hooray #wish i had a conclusion for it #this was a very different theory to write than usual but that did make it fun #i feel like i totally lost my mind in there somewhere though so hopefully i don't come out looking like too much of a clown #the heart is dyed thing dude... what does it mean...#also glad people are listening to yoidoreshirazu in this house we stan kanaria #my theories

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mission-light-if · 15 days

Text

Mission Light - Lawyer Path Part 1 - Out Now!

Hello, everyone :)

Here’s the long-awaited update for the lawyer path, part one. I’ve had some unexpected events recently—my flatmates had to call an ambulance for me last Sunday, and I’ve been dealing with some issues with my university credits. These things have delayed my progress.

There are still some additional notes and changes I wanted to include, but for now, I’m just going to publish what I have and save further changes for the next update. I just need to get what I have out there.

I’ll also work on answering the remaining messages in my inbox from June (sorry for the delay!). I aim to have the full chapter, including part two and my remaining notes, finished by the end of September or mid-October.

The chapter has undergone numerous rewrites, as did the prologue. I’ve had friends proofread it and make small changes, so while I’ve tried to ensure everything fits together, there might still be some inconsistencies, also because sometimes I write when I am really tired in the middle of the night. Please bear with me and enjoy it as it is.

This is my first time writing my own story, especially one with multiple routes and in English. I’m both excited and nervous to share it, even after the prologue. I faced challenges, particularly with making sure that all the choices and the general text fit together no matter what you pick. I didn’t always succeed, but it’s a work in progress. I plan to rewrite everything once the first draft of the novel is complete.

I hope you enjoy it and understand the story I’m trying to tell. There’s a lot of exposition and dialogue to set things up, but there will be more action in part two.

As with all my writing, this reflects my feelings and experiences. Many of the main character’s emotions and thoughts are inspired by my own—overthinking, daydreaming, delusion (rip).

This update includes:

Updated Prologue

Getting lunch with Marcos/Maria and Hongyu

Dealing with Noel’s tasks and your workday

Meeting your boss, Sebastian

Revelations and confrontations

Flirting

A CG (computer graphic)

Choosing your name and voice tone

A romance tutorial

The main character going through something

Everything is roughly 90,000 words long now, including code.

I initially wanted to include more specialized roles, like different types of lawyers or doctors, but that was too much work for now. I may add it after finishing the first draft. For now, I’ve kept things open so you can decide on specializations yourself.

That’s it for now!

Take care, Cassian

Play here

Spoiler

The idea for this chapter was to show the main character’s development from a grey and boring life to suddenly feeling something new. They take a quick solution without fully considering the consequences, becoming obsessed and losing themselves in fiction. This obsession leads to mistakes and dealing with the fallout. The later theme explores the main character feeling like a puppet or side character.

#interactive fiction #interactive game #interactive novel #interactive story #mission light #if #mission light if #lgbtq

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concerningwolves · 1 year

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Hey! Do you have any tips for breaking writers block when you're adhd and/or autistic? Be it your own tips or a link to another post? My friend and I need help haha

Ahh sorry you got buried under spam and old ask game asks. (I... really need to sort my ask box >.<' ). But here we go, a month late, and hopefully better late than never:

Quick ideas for beating writer's block when autistic and/or ADHD

I've got this old post I wrote on writer's block and focus troubles. Ironically, this was before my autism diagnosis but the tips still happen to be things I, an autistic person, did to manage writing when faced with executive dysfunction (except I didn't know what executive dysfunction was at that point lol). I'm linking this with one important caveat, though: if you have ADHD, "stepping away" might do more harm than good; struggling to start tasks is a Big Thing with ADHD, so not starting the task at all is entirely counterproductive. (Unless you're in burnout! Here's a post about the differences between block and burnout with some ideas on what to do for each, in case that's at all helpful to you).

And here's something yoinked from another old ask-answer:

sometimes a break from more “serious” writing is what you need. Maybe try and take the characters from your main project and drop them somewhere else for the hell of it. I like to throw my characters into the MCU without warning like “lmao have fun in a strange modern world where there are gods and a guy in an iron flying suit bye.” Or, if fandom cross-overs aren’t your thing, find a writing prompt or take an idea you like and use it to form a short story with your characters instead.

Some other ideas I've seen around for writer's block with ADHD/Autism are:

Try voice recording or text to speech (i.e., absolute stream-of-consciousness unfiltered brain-to-mouth, giving yourself permission to 100% bullshit if you like, and see what rattles loose in the brain box)

Stream of consciousness writing in general, not even necessarily about a particular prompt or particular project. This one can be done in combination with:

Writing sprints! One minute timers, two minute timers, five minutes – set it for as long as you want, but when you're fighting executive dysfunction and/or difficulty focusing, the burst of urgency that comes from a shorter timer is very helpful.

And speaking of the sense of urgency: gamify your writing! There are different ways to do this, with varying elements of risk. I'll link some ways to do this at the end under "resources".

Exercise. I don't necessarily mean hitting the gym, but a quick burst of exercise prior to writing to get the heart rate up can help wake your brain up a bit. (Or, if you find repetitive exercise mind-numbingly boring like I do, the writing sure does start to look appealing lol).

Meditation. Okay, this one is sort of 🤔 for me, because I do often hear from fellow autistics and our ADHD cousins that meditation is literally impossible for us. It is for me. But! Like with exercise above, if meditation bores you instead of helping relax and ""clear your mind"", you can probably use that boredom to your advantage. Or, it might work as intended.

Change your workspace/situation/routine. Sometimes the problem is that you need new sensory input, or that your brain has gotten thoroughly bored and decided not to tell you. Use a different chair. Move to the kitchen table. Write at a different time of day. Have a different snack (or try having a snack while writing...). Basically, look at what you're currently trying, and see how you can do it differently.

It's also really good practise to get comfortable with Being Bad At Writing. Perfectionism and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria are the biggest, meanest brain weasels with the sharpest teeth. Don't let them bully you. It sucks. It takes a lot of time and effort and internal work, which is why I was loathe to include this on a post of quick solutions, but. It is important.

And getting comfortable with this doesn't necessarily mean learning how to accept critique, or accepting that sometimes you'll write things that suck. It means accepting that sometimes you won't handle critique or feedback well, and also accepting that you won't always manage to beat the writer's block or be productive. Sometimes you have to make peace with the fact that you're going to feel horrible, feel your feelings, and try to remind yourself on the other side that none of it means you're a talentless hack.

Resources

Anything with a 🪙 next to it is paid only (I've tried to limit these and find alternatives).

The resources are split into things that "gameify" writing (i.e., hack your dopamine/serotonin in ways that reaaaaallly help autistic and ADHD folks), writing programs that are designed to help you focus, writing programs that track your habits and appeal to the "ohhhh numbers going up" brain, focus-aiding apps, and some miscellaneous stuff. Under the cut to save your dashes.

"Gamifying" your writing:

The Most Dangerous Writing App – You can't stop typing before your set timer runs out, or you risk losing your work. Excellent for warming up, stream-of-consciousness, or if you're feeling reckless, working on your actual project. I did a lot of the second draft of When Dealing with Wolves on this thing (it was terrifying yet highly effective).

Written? Kitten! – Get rewarded for meeting your set writing wordcount with kitten pictures. Haven't used this one personally, but heard wonderful things about it.

4TheWords 🪙 – This one gamifies writing in the most literal sense. As in, it's an online game where you defeat monsters, explore and level up by writing words. I did the free trial a couple years back, and I've heard there are a lot of different ways you can lower the subscription cost. The only reason I haven't gone back to it is because I feel like I can't justify spending money on it when I'm doing fine with Scrivener and free resources, but maybe one day I will purely for the fun factor...

StimuWrite – similar idea to Written Kitten; the app provides visual/audio stimulation while you write, which is great for many ADHD-ers and autistics. There's a progress bar, soundscape options, typing effects and emoji reactions as rewards, among other features.

Write or Die – This is The Most Dangerous Writing App meets Written Kitten. As far as I can figure out, the basic web version is free to use; you can set the parameters like how how long you want to write for, how many words to reach, and whether you want rewards for meeting goals or punishments for failing to meet them. There's also a stimulus mode, where the nice auditory stimulus goes away if you stop writing.

Minimalist/Focus writing programs:

Focus Writer [Windows] – thoroughly stripped-down minimalist word processor. As far as I know, it has basic functions like find-replace, but mostly it's designed only for writing. Not for formatting, spellchecking or editing.

iA Writer 🪙 [iOS] – Similar to Focus Writer, it's designed to fill your screen with a simple workspace. Allows you to use markdown formatting, and has a feature called Focus Mode that blurs out everything except the sentence you're typing. (If I could find a Windows-friendly alternative to this with that same feature I would be so happy). A cheaper alternative is 1Writer, but that doesn't have the focus mode.

Typewrite Something – Absolutely bare minimum web-based typewriter simulator. Basically just a blank screen that you start typing on, and the words appear in a typewriter font. Great for stream-of-consciousness without the risk level of TMDWA because you can't backspace. If you don't like the clacky sound, turn off your volume.

Focus Apps

Cold Turkey – Block applications and websites on your laptop/computer for a specified period of time. You can even block the entire internet.

Forest – Similar to Cold Turkey in that it stops you from seeking distractions or getting distracted. Set a timer and the app starts growing a tree. If you leave the app, the tree dies. Once you have a tree, you add it to your forest.

Habit-building writing programs:

Novlr – Simple, minimal layout, and tracks your writing goals per month and day, and your daily streak. There are more features in the plus and pro versions, and you can only have five projects in the free version, but otherwise it looks like a good free alternative to the next two programs:

750 Words 🪙 – Made for free writing, but also very useful for drafting. I had it for a month or so a while back on the free trial. It tracks writing streaks and gives you fun graphs and statistics at the end of each session, including number of distractions, actual typing time vs total time and average words per minute. Also, it analyses the mood of what you wrote, which I always found delightful.

Writing Analytics 🪙 – If writing streaks, badges and analytical graphs get your dopamine going, then I really recommend this one. The writing screen itself is very minimalistic, but it still shows your writing speed (I loved watching that go up) and your goal progress. In terms of analytics, it tracks a LOT of different things, including time spent writing vs revising, average wordcounts per day/month/year, and words written vs words deleted. I used this for about a year before I switched to Scrivener, and the switch was purely because I needed something that wasn't subscription-based. (Apparently since I stopped using it there's also a new feature that lets you create private writing rooms and see other writer's progress).

Misc.

WriteTrack – Not a word processor, but it has very good tools for tracking and planning your writing. Again, if graphs going up helps your brain, this is excellent, but you can't see it in real time.

10 ADHD-friendly brain tricks for writers – what it says on the tin: ten tips for writers with ADHD; I'm particularly fond of "Put away one knife", which breaks the nebulous task of "start writing" into something really simple like just... pull out your desk chair.

#autism stuff #adhd #writer's block #writing advice #writing resources

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whats-she-gonna-post-next · 2 months

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So I just finished binding Trust Life by the absolutely amazing @chaiandsage (Hello, I am ready to be perceived now, I hope that I have done your story even the slightest bit of justice) and I just wanted to make a post both showing it off, and going through what I learned doing this bind because I did a few new things here and want to talk about it.

Also I'm not going to subject you all to this, so most everything but the final product here is going to be below the cut.

(Also so sorry that the photos aren't the best. I am... Very bad at photography, lmao)

Ok, so let's start off with some of the cool things I learned during this bind. Or, maybe not necessarily cool, but they are things I learned and I think that learning is cool!

First off, I learned how to download and add fonts to Microsoft Word, which while not interesting, does open up a whole world of fonts for future binds. Is it a little late in the game to have found this? Probably. But it is what it is. I actually downloaded a pretty good chunk of different ones, but the fonts I actually used were MF Love Dings for the heart motif dividers, which was a new download, and then a few standard fonts - Edwardian Script ITC for the title pages, Baskerville Old Face for the chapter headers, Book Antiqua for the chapter titles, and good old Garamond for the actual text of the novel.

Here is the divider and the title fonts. I just think they are neat.

Another thing I learned was how to make book cloth! I found these squares of white cotton fabric at a dollar tree and decided to give it a go. The way I did mine was by painting them first (a task in and of itself, and as you can see on the cover, did not turn out super even, but I love them nonetheless) and then I glued down a layer of tissue paper to give it a little stiffness and make it stick to the chipboard easier, it was a super cool process and I look forward to trying it again in the future now that I have done it once and have a better idea of how I can improve in the future

And now onto some of the other cooler parts of the process!

So I had a lot of fun doing the formatting, it's my favourite part of any binding process, I cannot tell you how many fics I have formated that I have yet to print out and actually bind because I enjoy the process so much (the answer is actually 5 that are completely formatted and ready to go, 3 that I am actively in the middle of formatting, 4 projects completed - including this one, which... may technically count as 3, granted 2 of them were gifts for other people - and 3 that I am planning on doing that I haven't gotten to start on yet. Oh, and a 5 part series that I have printed out but haven't actually bound yet. I have a problem, lmao.) As I mentioned, I downloaded a few fonts for this but it just ended up looking so good in the end. Here is what some of the inner formatting looks like (I did just take the screenshots from word, I thought it was easier than getting the pages in the book)

Something else! This was the first time I actually broke a single fic into multiple parts, and I do not regret it. Each section is fairly large on its own, so it would have been a monster all together. I gave them basically the same title pages and such, just used the main stories summary for all of them and copy pasted everything - work smarter, not harder - and kept the same format for the chapters and such. There were 2 obvious spots (at least imo) for breaking things up, those being at the end of chapter 24, and then again at the end of 57, if you know, you know. However, that made the divide be 24 chapter, 33 chapter, 9 chapters. I was a little worried about how that divide to affect the look of the books, but I was pleasantly surprised how well it worked out. Book 2 there is quite obviously the largest part (it's basically double the length of book 1) but book 3 was surprisingly long for being only 9 chapters and I think they look fairly cohesive together. I didn't realize how long the last nine chapters themselves were. The first and third ones are actually about the same size together as book two, which is pretty cool!

When it came time to put together the actual books, I stuck with my tried and true french link stitch, as I find it to be a sturdy stitch, and then used green, yellow, and red card stock for the end pages, I felt it thematic.

I'm super excited to have this as a physical book now, thank again to chaiandsage for allowing me to bind this amazing story and just for writing it in the first place! I read it like twice in the span of a month, and I swear I have read chapter 57 and 58 themselves way too many times to count. Not even going to mention the amount of times I read the last 6 chapters because I just love a good happy ending.

But yeah, I'm really happy how this bind turned out, I still have to put an actual cover in these - which I plan on doing, I have a friend who is going to help me with the cover design when they are free, so there will be an update at some point.

#I genuinely had so much fun doing this #ask any of my friends #i would not shut up about it #fanfiction #traffic smp #traffic light smp #trafficblr #life series #trust life #bookbinding

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dirtbagcore · 3 months

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HELLO im thinking about your saiki k / spyxfamily au...... im so fascinated by this family dynamic. does kuriko still have all her powers, or just telepathy? in your comic it looks like she still does the telepathic communication which i LOVE. pairs well with anyas constant yapping...... also, if kuriko does have all her powers, how powerful is she? id imagine she'd be about at the level of 16-year-old saiki with limiters, since in the time travel episode he was a bit older and a bit stronger (but he also didnt have glasses so i guess he didnt have the power to turn people to stone yet? i wonder if there are other powers he unlocks later. its probably in the manga but im only halfway through 😭). man, just imagine the shenanigans those kids would get up to..... even just putting kuriko in anyas place would be hilarious, but then also throwing anya AND kuusuke into the mix???? these kids are gonna accidentally destroy the world lmfao

but im also fascinated by the dynamic of. anya and kuriko being siblings and knowing about each others powers, but no one else knows about them (except probably kuusuke?). cause like. kusuo originally can use his powers at home, so now he can use them less freely, but anya originally had NO ONE who knew about them and now she has 2 siblings who do, so she can use them more freely. which would probably result in an even more reserved kuriko and an even more outgoing anya. plus kuusukes inferiority complex would be doubled..... loid has no idea what he just got himself into lmao. just absolutely insane family dynamics all around im obsessed

ANYWAY sorry for yapping in your inbox but i would love to hear any other thoughts you have about this au..... if you wanna share.....

^((TLDR; [in my S×F / Saiki K crossover AU where kuriko & anya are twins] what are kurikos powers? what's the new family dynamic?))

HIII! ( ≧∀≦)ノ THANKS 4 THE ASK!!! v happy to answer, i was thinking kuriko would:

1. still have all her powers, and

2. they would be weaker than in canon since she got her limiters early⬇️

this obv includes the fact that she can remember all her time as an infant, so thinking of that (considering the vague experiments anya went thru in canon) i deffo think ur right about her being even more reserved ( ´,_ゝ`) </3 tho tbf anya being kuriko's voice and seeming (from an outside perspective) to always just KNOW what she wants, no matter how specific, sounds really freaking cute ( T∀T)

i imagine her other powers coming up in little scenes (+ prob main plot stuff but im not writing allat for a thought experiment lol)⬇️⬇️

overall, i think the family dynamic would be like this⬇️⬇️⬇️

kusuke wouldnt be threatened by anya cause all she can do is read minds, shes no genius on top of that. his relationship with kuriko tho, i feel like would be similar to how it was in canon, except that since kuriko is more fragile here, id imagine that she'd be less willing to indulge kusuke's games- leading him to harbour more genuine resentment, in turn leading her to kinda fear him. it'd make their dynamic more angsty than the og, but tbh i feel that that lends well to the new setting/kusukes new role.

i dont think kuriko would mind loid or yor, but since she can remember their bio parents (kuniharu & kurumi) better than anya, i dont think she'd be able to accept them as her parents right away, especially yor.

the only other thing i wanted to mention was:

how did kusuke get into eden without parents, you ask? (you didnt but--) YOU ASK?? well obvi its cause he's a super genius and probably achieved something so crazy that the schoolboard REALLY wanted him as an alum, so he completely skipped over the regular admission process. he would live in the dorms and probably avoided talking abt his parents entirely (cause who would share their personal trauma with ants??), leaving a very convenient spot for loid to slip into lol

anyway! thats basically it!! thanks again for the ask, hope at least some ppl appreciate our wall of text!! (me n you are like this 🤞 btw. YAPPING 🔛🔝🔥) ☆(゜∇^d)!!

#saiki k #spy x family #crossover #alternate universe #dirtbag's saiki k vault >:)#dirtbag's spy x family vault >:)#yes i drew the lion by hand; first use of all that realism practice probably since i graduated hs LMFAO

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fiercynn · 1 year

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otw july 2 board meeting: what the hell was that

so the otw (@transformativeworks) board had their Q2 meeting yesterday, which was highly anticipated given everything that's gone down in the past months:

the @end-otw-racism campaign demanding action from otw on their own commitments made three years ago to better address racist harassment in otw and on ao3 (btw, support end otw racism's current campaign #Vote To End OTW Racism!)

recent revelations about how otw has mistreated its volunteers, regarding azarias and how the org reacted after the CSEM attacks on volunteers last year, as well as how the policy & abuse committee (PAC) is overworked and treated by the legal commitee overall (documented here)...

...and ongoing mistreatment of chinese, chinese diaspora, and chinese-speaking volunteers, particularly regarding an incident last year that put volunteers in mainland china at risk, and the board's recent unilateral decision to close the otw weibo account without input from the weibo account leads or any chinese-speaking volunteers

the AI shit

and probably more that i've missed, honestly. so! this is my summary of the meeting, focusing mostly on the issues related to racism; i have screenshots of the whole meeting but will at this point only share those i find most relevant/interesting! alt text will be included for every screenshot in the image, not below it.

and hold on, because this is going to be LONG!

pre-meeting ableism in #help channel so shit actually started going down the previous day in the otw board discord's help channel where there was a pretty ableist resposne to a person who asked if the board could consider adding the pluralkit bot to the server. i wasn't there, but hojarasca on dreamwidth posted about it, and i believe some other folks who were there will post screenshots soon too.

all of that conversation was deleted from the help channel by today, which is not unusual but did mean that a majority of people at today's meeting might not know what went down.

board meeting starts; immediate chaos the board meeting started at 8pm UTC, and it was clear almost immediately that the board was unprepared. what you have to understand about otw board meetings is that they are not really meetings where the board members discuss anything with each other. basically otw board members show up, share an agenda , give written updates on the items on the agenda, take votes on board decisions (but without any discussion publicly), and take questions. none of the materials like the agenda or relevant documents were shared ahead of time, and the board did not offer a way to submit questions ahead of time specific to the board meeting. (otw does have a contact us form to email their board or committee chairs, but i've never gotten a response lol.)

another weird thing that happened before the meeting started was that board member alex tischer was active answering questions in the help channel up to five minutes before the meeting, but didn't stay for the meeting. i don't think a reason was shared for this. this is relevant because alex has been criticized for racist responses to chinese volunteers, particularly those that ran & interacted with otw's weibo account, both in the past & last month when they closed their weibo account without any notice to the volunteers. this will also come up again later in the q&a section...

anyway. the meeting starts. all of the discussion directly about the meeting is supposed to happen in one discord channel called #public-board-meetings; the #help channel is supposed to be for tech issues etc. there is no separate channel for asking questions to the board - those are supposed to be posted in the main board meeting channel. and as far as we can tell, there are no mods of either of these channels apart from board members.

at the start of the meeting there are at least 209 attendees. for context, the last board meeting in march had 31. i've heard from people who have attended board meetings for the past couple years that there are usually 10-40 attendees per meeting. but again, given what's been going down, it's not surprising that so many people showed up!

and because there are a lot of people who haven't attended these meetings before, attendees immediately start asking questions, both process questions about the meeting and actual questions they want to ask the board. which again is understandable because there haven't been many answers given in the #help channel, and the board immediately muddies things further by giving confusing instructions about when to ask questions. they first say this - that they are going to proceed through their agenda, so people should hold questions that are NOT about any agenda items until the end. they imply that questions that are about agenda items are okay as they go through the agenda, but there will be conflicting instructions about this later...

agenda is posted & actual meeting content begins...kind of here's the meeting agenda that was shared. not...terribly descriptive lol

- Decisions taken since the previous meeting - Strategic Plan vote - Update on OTW's Diversity Work - AOB (Any Other Business) - Time for questions

people immediately start asking questions about various agenda items & also procedure questions. very few of these are answered. the first agenda item is posted - decisions taken since the previous meeting.

the board gives us "a couple minutes to read the above". everything's getting a little muddled already because people keep asking questions (reasonably!) about agenda items. there are several questions about the specific agenda item of "decisions taken since the previous meeting". some of the questions are getting answered by otw volunteers but none by board members at this point.

the board moves on to the next agenda item without answering questions about the "decisions" item. people are asking for a separate channel for questions but none is created. board members tell us they will try to get to all the answers at the end, but that we should send any additional answers to the board through the otw contact us form. many people point out that they've rarely gotten responses that way.

board gives a brief update (that was NOT on the agenda) from the finance committee chair, who was not at the meeting, to say that the 2023 budget was posted earlier this year, and that people can send questions via the contact us form. i'll note here that i sent a message to the finance committee with a question about the 2023 budget two months ago and have not gotten a response.

strategic plan update + question procedure still unclear the board then starts to give an update on the strategic plan, which board members are to vote on today. attendees ask if the full strategic plan draft was shared publicly before this meeting and we are told it was only shared with volunteers, not with members or the public.

they do share an infographic summarizing the strategic plan. hilariously, the first version they upload is so blurry that it's unreadable. they then share a gdoc with alt text. if you are new-ish to otw stuff, this infographic and the jargon in it are probably pretty confusing.

the board keeps giving us "a few minutes to check things out". people ask them to not do that and proceed because we can read while they are typing. questions to the board keep going unanswered and various other people say that we're supposed to hold questions until the end. we again get told conflicting things about how to ask questions. a board member asks us to hold ALL questions until the end, but an otw volunteer points to an earlier statement from a different board member & says that questions on the current agenda item are allowed.

at 45 minutes into the meeting, when most questions are going unanswered (and a lot of only being answered by otw volunteers, not board members), the board disables messages in the main channel so that they can proceed with the agenda. this is not usual board meeting procedure and was unannounced until they did it. people start getting really creative with emoji reactions because they can't ask questions. the board admits that they were unprepared for the number of attendees at this meeting.

attendees then start asking questions in the help channel, which has been put on "slow mode", which means each user can only post every thirty minutes. multiple otw volunteers share in the help channel that they warned the board about preparing for the meeting, and the only change the board made in response was to make it 30 minutes longer than usual.

in the main channel, the board does not have any public discussion on the strategic plan (which has not been shared, only the infographic has), and votes unanimously to approve it.

diversity work update, aka a glorified otw news post the board moves on to the "diversity work update", which is now a standard section of every board meeting. they share two updates - firstly, that caste has been added as a protected class in the code of conduct, and secondly that they've heard the concerns coming from @end-otw-racism supporters and others. both of which were already shared a month ago in this OTW news post from a month ago, which they link to.

seriously, nothing new is shared in this part of the meeting that wasn't in that post. some update!

q&a part one the board asks for emoji reactions again to see how many people are in attendance. unclear why they do this unless they were hoping people might have left? but alas for them, there are still 182 people that emoji react saying they are in the meeting!

the board FINALLY starts answering questions, but they do not yet re-enable messages so that users can ask more questions. they start by addressing the pluralkit issue from yesterday, but they don't give any response about the ableism that was allowed to go unchecked in the channel.

then, BAFFLINGLY, they start with answering questions from someone who wasn't able to make the meeting. how did this person submit those questions beforehand? NO ONE KNOWS. fortunately this person had (imo) good questions, but again, why were their questions given preference? unclear.

okay there were a LOT of questions and responses, so i'm going to stick to sharing the ones that were most important to me, which were about addressing racism within the otw and on ao3. hopefully someone else will summarize other issues!

we finally get our FIRST REAL NEW RESPONSE on a diversity/racism issue! the board says they plan to hire a diversity consultant by the end of the year.

we also hear that changes to otw's terms of service are being proposed to give the policy & abuse committee more tools to address harassment, including "racially-motivated" harassment.

board says the best way for people other than otw volunteers to get involved with anti-racism issues is...to stay up to date on what otw is doing, attend public meetings, and send questions through the comment form. what.

the board does not answer how they have reached out to fans of color in their work to address racism, which i assume means they haven't; they instead say that fans of color are free to provide input/feedback via the contact us form. emoji reactions explode

the board says that the strategic plan has initiatives to combat racism including improving diversity in recruitment (of...who? volunteers, board members? potential future paid staff?), hiring a diversity consultant, & forming "volunteer coalitions"

slight digression from my focus on racism issues because of how many times the board has told us to submit questions via their contact us form: very little clarity on how long it will take for answers to be questions, or how long people spend on responses

the goals for the future diversity consultant are to do an audit of the organization and offer recommendations on how to proceed. couldn't be vaguer lol

otw does not currently have plans to have an internal committee for diversity, equity, and inclusion work, since they're relying on the external consultant, but if the consultant recommends it they'll consider

by the time they've gotten through these responses, there are only five minutes left in the meeting! remember, messaging by attendees has been disabled for the past 40 minutes, so everything the board has answered so far is from people who got their questions in during the first 45 minutes (or, apparently, one person who managed to get in questions before the meeting).

q&a part two at this point, the board FINALLY re-enables messaging for new questions, but clarifies that they will only take them until 9:30pm UTC. which means anyone who did actually wait to ask their questions now only has five minutes to ask them! questions start rolling in immediately. again, going to focus on the ones about racism.

i'm listing questions in chronological order that they are asked, but please note that the corresponding answers from the board are coming WAY later than the questions. the board took until 10:20pm UTC (almost an hour after the meeting was supposed to end) to answer all the questions. mostly i'm telling you this because the emoji reactions on the answers by the board get more limited as people understandably have to leave the meeting lol

the first question of round two is about how chinese & chinese diaspora volunteers have been treated re: the weibo account closure, & board member alex tischer's role in this.

board response is horrifyingly empty, only promising the creation of a new "anonymous form" to receive feedback from chinese and chinese diaspora volunteers on the situation.

an attendee asks for better prioritization of racism & equity issues in the meetings, and better preparation from the board. (note that the addition of "diversity work update" to the agenda is not new, i believe it was instituted late last year)

in response, board admits they were unprepared despite volunteers warning them, says they will take advice from this meeting forward. emoji reactions are out in full force

an attendee asks more details about how the diversity consultant research officer (who is NOT a hired diversity consultant, but an otw volunteer in charge of the hiring process for a consultant) engages with the board & what goals they have for the future consultant

response from board is that they meet weekly, and that the research officer is herself in charge of identifying goals for the future consultant

an attendee points out that "curate your space" tools are not enough to protect users from targeted abuse, including racist abuse, and that asking fans of color to reach out to the board instead of the other way around is bullshit (my words haha)

the board's response to this is to offload that onto the future diversity consultant. SERIOUSLY.

an otw member asks if the diversity consultant will also look at accessibility for disabled users across the otw

board essentially says "yeah, sure" lol

an otw member asks how otw will remove barriers to becoming a voting member and diversifying membership & committee leadership

board's response is that they don't know the demographics of their members or volunteers, which...somehow means they can't remove barriers that would help fans of color or non-western fans from becoming members and volunteers? lmaoooooooo

an attendee asks for accountability in ensuring that the incoming board keeps the current board's promises re: DEI, pointing to improvements made by the 2015 board that were later reversed by a new board make-up

board does not seem to understand this question so answers an entirely different one! (seriously, i double-checked which question they were responding to.)

an otw volunteer asks what the plans are to deal with the "ongoing exclusion and alienation of chinese-speaking volunteers"?

the board repeats that they have opened a feedback form for chinese-speaking volunteers. that's it.

so those are all the questions i saw on racism; as i mentioned, there were TONS more good questions on board transparency and communications, protection of volunteers, moderating board meetings better, lack of feedback collection on the strategic plan, etc.

at PRECISELY 9:30pm UTC, messages are disabled again so that no more questions can be asked. all of the otw board responses that i shared above are from after messages were disabled again.

takeaways this meeting was a complete mess. the process was extremely unclear and made things inaccessible; while the board did (from what i can tell) answer all the questions posted, people were not able to ask all the questions that they'd planned because of the unannounced disabling of messaging.

and then, of course, there's the fact that the majority of the answers are bullshit, which is probably the least surprising thing about this meeting.

it's just ridiculous that they weren't prepared for this. given everything that's gone down in the past months, why on earth wouldn't they assume that people would show up with hard questions? the mismanagement and incompetence is frankly astounding. which i guess is the story of the last few months re: OTW anyway!

so...see you at the next one in a few months, i guess? 🤷🏾‍♀️

#this was fucking wild you guys #how does everything otw leadership do keep proving their incompetence #and recalcitrance to change #like how do you ignore the advice of volunteers who said this meeting would be big?#that's more than head in the sand at that point #they don't want to be responsible for everything that's come up #so they're just...ignoring it #and hoping the backlash won't be too big #we have to make sure that they're wrong & keep them accountable #fandom racism #organization for transformative works #otw #otw board #end otw racism #vote to end otw racism

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