#I always want to want it but I actually have it pretty rarely...

[polyamorousmood]

Hey there :)

So I have no problem with my bf dating other people, and recently hes started having sth with someone else. Good for them! Legit, no problem with that by itself

But.. now I'm being left on read a lot, like majority of the time it feels like, no matter the topic or time. I just feel.. forgotten, I think, or replaced idk. But it feels pretty bad.

I dont want them to think I'm jealous or mad, I just wish he would still show me the same attention/care as before. Ive talked about how left on read makes me very insecure, due to fake friends and person past experiences before so I dont want to bring it up again.. but it hurts. Idk what to do?

Bad news, babe. You're gonna have to say something again. The good news though is that you can productively procrastinate it, because there's some stuff I want you to do first.

But before I get into that, I let having a cool opening distract me from very important other things that need said: That sucks, and I'm really sorry, but you can make it through this.

Now then. Time to productively procrastinate a difficult conversation. Look, I'm procrastinating it more by making it a read more! (It, um, it is A Lot. I took "blogging platform" literally on this one😅)

It sucks. Believe me, it bothers me too when I can't hear from my partner📵📴 because they're with my meta. It has been A Problem I've had to work through, so I think I'm actually pretty qualified to give advice on this.

Some of what I have to say is going to smart (old-timey word for sting) a bit, so I want to make it clear that I understand where you're coming from, so you can trust the part that stings is necessary. I imagine its something like this:

You relationship with your boyfriend is great! So great, you're happy for him to have someone else to love! That's. That's so rare and incredible, its a love beyond what most will know. And then he takes that love and wads it up and throws it in the back seat to make room for this new schmuck. The love is still there, it's just... in the back seat. And you never thought that would happen, because the relationship is so good! And you already said something, so you worry you're being a nag, which you don't want, because you ARE happy for them, you're so happy for them... except when you're not because you can't be happy when he can't be bothered to text you back. Its not really so much to ask, and you EXPLAINED why its important to you, so why doesn't he seem to care? You communicated, you did your part, and it was hard and scary! Surely harder than texting you back would be! And you don't want to feel like this, but. There's this anxiety that... shouldn't he want to text you back? Isn't that how he would act if he really did still care about you just as much?

Any of that resonate? I don't know you, so maybe some of it was way off base🎯, I don't know. But I hope enough of it was close enough to right that you know I get it when I say:

This isn't just your boyfriend fucking it up. This is, in part, probably you asking something unreasonable. To give you the exact same level of time an energy as when it was just you too is a big ask. To be able to supercede his time with the other person any time you want is a big ask. If you're only okay with your boyfriend having someone else if it doesn't cut into your time at all, how okay with it are you actually?

So before you talk to him about it, you gotta step back. Its not that you're wrong for feeling sidelined. But a poly relationship just isn't going to be the exact same as a monogamous one. It it were, I wouldn't have bothered making a blog, and I wouldn't have needed to because I wouldn't have a trail of loving, wonderful, burnt to ashes monogamous relationships behind me. Let's take a deep breath together. Pause here if you need.

Now, there are some questions here that do affect what I think would be fair. For example, if you're living with your boyfriend, and he's taking you for granted, always texting the other person when he's with you, you don't have any special time with him anymore, and then when he goes out its radio silence. That's a very different situation from you being in a long distance relationship so texting is your main form of communication/bonding and now he's got a new person that lives near him so he's with them constantly and now, what are you, chopped liver? for example. I'm going to give a list of things you might be doing that's unfair, and I want you to take a minute and evaluate as honestly as you can where you fall on that. This is a self-reflection, not an accusation, so please resist any temptations to get defensive (if you even feel them). I recommend taking out a pad of paper and committing to an answer for each. Some you may not be doing at all! Some okay maybe a little. And some now that you think about it, yeah actually, you're doing a lot. That's okay. You not handling it perfectly is okay, and doesn't mean we can't ask the boyfriend for accommodations still.

Are you valuing 1:1 time with your boyfriend as much as you're valuing (negatively) the time he spends 1:1 (not texting you) with his partner? IE, are you more bothered by him not texting you than you are appreciative when he takes time for you?

Are you texting him compulsively out of anxiety instead of because you have something more important to discuss?

Are you accidentally infringing on his other partner's time?

Are you trying to infringe on his other partner's time to reassure yourself that you're important to him?

Are you texting him to "test" him?

When you communicated that you didn't like being left on read, did you properly convey how big of a problem it is for you and what your expectations were?

When you communicated, did you allow space for negotiation and to work on the problem, or was it more like a list of demands?

Are you misplacing your feelings somehow? Is there something else that's bothering you that you don't feel comfortable bringing up?

Are you letting your anxieties run you? Is there something you could be doing to address your feelings?

Are you forgetting to weigh other allocations or shows of love he's making or you?

Is there anything else internally you might be overlooking in regards to this?

Whew! Heavy stuff. But you made it!🎉 Now, we'll dig into how his actions are making you feel. That last set was about what you could be doing better, and this one will help determine he could be doing better. But just like we weren't making accusations about you, we aren't making accusations about him either. We are assuming good faith on your boyfriend's part. This is still ultimately about your feelings and what reasonable accommodations could be made for them.

Do you feel the time allocation for you vs his other partner is fair? Why?

Does he seem to text them back more than you?

Does it seem like he's not taking your concerns seriously enough?

Does this issue look like a larger pattern? If so, what? How will that look long-term?

Has he made specific promises he hasn't kept to you in regards to this? If so, what were they and how hasn't he lived up to them?

Do you feel he's made adequate time for you to discuss concerns, or do you feel like he tries to rush through them?

Do you think he gave you a reasonably clear expectation of what him dating someone else would look like (or did he make it seem "nothing will change")?

Has he not responded to something critical?

Is there anything else he's done in regards to this that doesn't sit right with you?

You did it! 🎉Now we can officially start working on problem-solving. I imagine that was a lot more than you bargained for, for such a simple problem as "I want a text back," but its important to get everything laid out. This helps in a lot of ways. It helps guard against striking on a "solution" that isn't actually sustainable. It makes sure you're starting a discussion in good faith. And hopefully, it will help minimize having to return to the issue.

For the sake of formatting, we're going to address the questions for you first, then the questions about him, then how to have the hard conversation, then workarounds that you may not have considered that aren't really your or his problem. I actually think that third group has some of the better "quick fixes", if you can find one that works.

Starting with the questions about what you could be doing better, in order, skip any that don't apply:

Re: valuing 1:1 time -- Make active efforts to appreciate the time you do have more. Use this time as a guard against negative thoughts when he is unable to respond ("We spent all day together yesterday, a few hours today without hearing from him is fine")

Re: texting compulsively -- Be more vigilant about self-soothing. I find self-talk to be most effective for me. I cannot possibly cover everything here, but it sounds like it stirs up fears you're losing your partner. Since you cannot guarantee that will never happen, I find it most helpful to reassure myself I will be okay even if I do lose them. Another option is to make a reassurance bank, where you can store and see evidence of his affection without asking it from him. Your mileage may vary. If you really struggle with this, there's always therapy.

Re: accidental infringing -- Be more mindful of what you send. Save things that are non-urgent to discuss later, when you have his attention anyway.

Re: deliberate infringing -- Stop it. It will only strain things and make the outcomes you don't want more likely. See self-soothing. Find something else to distract you that you can put energy into.

Re: "testing" him -- See above. I know, its easier said than done. Do the hard work. That shit can ruin your life.

Re: didn't adequately express importance -- Well, its a good thing we're about to talk about it anyway! Really think through how you can explain how badly it makes you feel. We'll get into that more when we discuss How To Have the Conversation

Re: list of demands -- Well, its a good thing we're going to talk about it anyway! This time, see it as a negotiation. Ask him if that's feasible, or if its too much. But open to trying alternate solutions.

Re: misplaced feelings -- Take the advice on How To Have a Conversation and apply it to the thing that's actually the problem.

Re: managing anxieties -- Again, you'll have to find a way to self-soothe somewhat. That's not to say your partner shouldn't meet you halfway, but you do have to do your half.

Re: forgetting other expressions of love -- Literally make a list of all the things he's done/is doing for you. As many as you can think of. Add to it often. Pick a couple and do a deep dive on why that mattered so much to you and how you felt. Tell him, too. You gotta be grateful consciously, bro. This applies to all of life

Re: anything else -- Take that into account. Work on that, too, however you can. Be honest with him about your shortcomings when you address it.

A lot of these will require upkeep on your part (kind of mirrors🪞how texting you back consistently requires upkeep on his, huh?). Be prepared to discuss the changing you're going to make and have an actionable plan for them. Okay, his turn, same as before:

Re: fair time allocation -- does he need to make more time for you? Do he need to make protected time that is only for you? You said you feel forgotten, replaced, so maybe this is part of it.

Re: unequal texting -- first, consider why. If he lives with you, he's probably going to have to text the other person in front of you sometimes. If you still think its too much, again, protected time for you may be appropriate, he may need to do a better job keeping his New Relationship Energy (NRE) in check. Be prepared to discuss this, possibly including him defending himself!

Re: not taking concerns seriously -- Well, its a good thing we're discussing this again! Make sure you have an actionable, measurable metric he can do to show you progress here. (IE ❌"I need you to care more" ❌ but ✅"When you're unable to respond, I need you to say that you're busy so I know you thought of my needs" ✅)

Re: bigger patterns -- You will have to tell him you're concerned about those too. If it could become untenable for you, this will probably be a recurring discussion. Consider scheduling check-ins where you say one thing you think is going well and one thing you're worried about, for example.

Re: unkept promises -- here, you are super justified in being mad. Try not to be anyway. Try to be curious and interested in addressing the root problem. Ask him what got in his way, what middle ground he's confident he can manage. It is you and him vs the problem, even here, not you vs him.

Re: inadequate room to discuss -- Set expectations before the talk, and remind him of them if he forgets. (IE "I know this isn't nice to hear, but I need you to let me say my piece and talk through solutions, even if it takes awhile." and "I said I needed to talk through the solution. This sounds nice, but I'm concerned about X. How can we make sure that doesn't happen?") Consider reserving specific time to discuss it, consider reserving recurring time to discuss any problem, if you need it.

Re: didn't set expectations appropriately -- ask. Ask what this would ideally look like to him. If he's having trouble getting started, point out some differences you've already noticed, and ask if he thinks those are the new norm.

Re: didn't respond to something critical -- Establish a way he can see what is critical and what isn't. This might be texting something that can wait, but calling for something important, for example.

Re: anything else -- address that too. Give him a chance to explain himself. etc.

Okay, you've done everything up to this point alone. You're prepped. Now How Do You Have The Conversation?

For this type of stuff, I recommend the WIBS format. That is, "When [something happens], I feel [feelings] Because [explanation] So could you please [change]". But of course, it can't be that simple either. Critically you CANNOT say "you" before the "so could you please". The example I'm about to give is going to use the texting issue specifically, but if you've done the soul searching and found there's a bigger problem you want to address (which ngl, sounds like there might be something bigger based on what you sent), adjust accordingly! This is good general advice for any tough conversation. Anyway, here's what that might look like on the texting thing:

"When I am left on read, I feel anxious and betrayed, because I've had a lot of friendships completely fall apart, and that's always how it started. So could you please make a point to text me something when you read my message, even if its just 'lol' or you saying you want to discuss it later."

But wait a minute! That doesn't include any of the bullshit I just made you do. What the hell am I trying to pull? Okay okay, so we have to modify this a bit. Our new format is going to be something more like this: "When [something happens], I feel [feelings and impact], because [explanation]. I have tried [things you've tried], and I am still struggling because [reason why that hasn't helped, including what you could do better]. So I was hoping to look at some more solutions, like, would you be willing to try [change]." Which might in practice look something like

"When I am left on read, I feel so anxious and betrayed I start spiraling thinking the relationship is doomed, because I've had a lot of friendships completely fall apart, and that's always how it started. I have tried dropping some hints and self soothing, and I'm still struggling because this is a really bad anxiety that I didn't have to deal with before recently and even with the hints I'm not getting the response rate I would like. So I wanted to talk about it and see if you'd be willing to try making a point to text me something when you read my message, even if its just 'lol' or you saying you want to discuss it later."

And then! The discussion continues. Maybe he says "oh my god, yeah, I didn't realize it was bothering you that much, absolutely I can do that" and maybe he says "I'm with you all the time how is this still a problem?" or maybe its "actually, [other partner] gets really anxious when I text, which is why I don't respond unless its important. I figured I could talk to you about dinner plans any time" and whatever the case is, you keep talking until you've set on clear goalposts and have reassurance they feel okay to all parties. So in order, your responses might be something like "are you sure you can manage that? I was really worried by my hints not being picked up on that that was the reason", "I know its a problem. That's why I'm talking to you about it. If that's not a good solution to you, let's come up with something else, because the way things are is really hard on me," and "okay. I don't want to make [other partner] anxious either, but this isn't working for me, can we find something else to try?"

Allow him to explain, be prepared to explain more yourself, and be willing to try a variety of solutions. Acknowledge

Is this my longest post yet? Maybe! Wild. Let's top it off with something easier: The Hack Solutions🧑‍💻. Sometimes, anxiety isn't logical, and goofy workarounds can be super helpful! Here are some off the top of my head, but feel free to get creative, too! Not all of these may be feasible, not all of them may help. But a lot less work than some other solutions so worth mentioning!

You said being "left on read" is what bothers you. Can you just... turn off read receipts? Or switch to a messaging app that doesn't have them? Can he just not read your texts until he has the time to respond?

A lot of phones have a driving mode, that will send an automated reply to texts. Can he turn that on when he's with his other partner so you get a reply like "hey I'm busy rn, but I'll text back later!" and would that help?

If you just want to feel more involved, maybe it would help if he just like, took a picture of his pizza to send to you. Reminds you you're thought of, doesn't require conversation.

Something that I've done with friends is write like, a dozen short affirmations/reassurances, and have them keep them in a special spot. When they need to feel loved, they can take one out to read. This has worked PHENOMENALLY for them, and still protects your partner's time away while allowing you to get love direct from your partner WHENEVER you want.

Can he just kick it with you both concurrently?

Can you have a friendship with your meta where you text THEM like "tell [bf] to text me back real quick" and then your bf doesn't feel bad about texting in front of the other partner because they're telling him to do it?

Classically condition yourself. Like, every time he leaves you on read, eat a chocolate. And then sometimes instead of it being "boyfriend won't text me :(((" it'll be "oooo! candy time!"

ai yai yai! That's all I have, though! Come back if you need help working through some specifics. I'm very happy to help however I can. Its not your fault you're struggling with this. Most polyam relationships have to deal with this to some extent, but with a little effort, you can make it through. Best of luck to you, friend. 💙💖🖤

[campbyler]

the ppl that complain abt updates are actually so bewildering to me bc im literally 2k words into my fic and it has taken SO LONG 😞 not to mention the fact that no matter how long i wait for your updates, i truly never get bored because i js come on your tumblr everyday to see what you guys have been posting on here and it 100% makes up for the long awaited updates (not that you have anything to make up for anyway) you guys are truly SO incredible for what you do bc i could NEVER 😭 i literally talked to my friend abt ur fic and how the waits are usually long (wasn’t complaining abt it) and she was like “oh my god i could never wait that long for a fic” and i immediately came to your defense and was like “yeah but it’s okay bc the long ass chapters always make up for it and the fact that they post on tumblr almost daily”

prefacing my accidental ramble by saying that if we ever seem disproportionately annoyed at something someone said then it’s definitely because it is not disproportionate to Us!! little comments and things like that add up over time, so it’s rarely about just that one thing someone says and absolutely more of an overarching pattern that gets tiring really fast. and not to dredge everything back up again bc it’s rare that we get someone being super weird and rude outright about longer or delayed update times but we get soooo so many asks or comments etc like the one thea answered earlier which just include little remarks that come off as just passive aggressive and just kind of kill the vibe of getting a really nice message?? very much like “oh i miss when we only had to wait a couple weeks for updates but your fic is so good!” or “this was so good but don’t know how im going to wait months for the next chapter :(“ and just stuff like that which gets pretty frustrating over time, especially when they’re coming from people who blew through a 30k update in like 45 minutes lol. we see so much of this over on twt especially, maybe because we’re not as active there and people are not saying it To Us so they think we don’t see it but there’s also a lot of likeeeeee “i want to start acswy but im Traumatized by authors abandoning their fics so im just waiting until they’re done” or “i want to catch up but the update intervals are so long😭” and that sort of thing which is also just kind of frustrating to see come up over and over again, esp bc sometimes people have actually said that to us? like in our inbox??? for some entirely unknown reason??? like why are you telling us on this blog that you don’t want to read our fic until it’s done. good luck getting through 500k in one sitting then idk what to tell you 🤷🏽‍♀️

anyways all that to say thank you so much for your message of support it’s very much appreciated! sometimes the demands (even if they’re said as a joke) and little side comments that are slipped into really nice messages can def make us feel like our readers see as us people who are putting out a product and not people who are just trying to share a passion project with our little corner of the internet, but we also know that most of you are not like that and especially the people who regularly interact w this blog and send in asks and comments are so lovely! thank you for coming to our defense 🫡

[jesperfaheys-defenseattorney]

Andreil headcanons?.cuz you've been posting about them

I have been! Thank you for asking Anon I'm flattered<3333

I've already made a post about Neil having a bunch of random marathon t-shirts and hoodies from just signing up for them cause he runs sm and Andrew stealing said marathon shirts but I really like that one so I'm going to put it again here

They do get married but they don't have a ceremony but they do all the legal things because ofc one of them gets injured and one tries to see the other at the hospital and they're like "Sorry family only" and they're like "time to sign paperwork I guess" and like a few weeks later Andrew shows up with two rings with their initials inscribed in each other's rings (because he's a SAP at heart) and his excuse is he's tired of getting flirted with and people asking Neil put so if they wear the rings it might put a stop to it. Neil only takes it off for games.

Andrew gets cavities frequently and will go to the dentist but he hates it and every time he has to go Neil drives, he always stays in the room, and if Andrew is having a bad day he'll call and reschedule his appointment because he's simply not going to subject him to a dentist on a day he's hesitant to even let Neil touch him let alone a doctor. Before every filling he puts milkshakes in the freezer without Andrew knowing so that when the numbness goes away later he can give one to him.

Neil has a super low alcohol tolerance and normally he doesn't drink, especially if Andrew does, that way he can drive, but he can be convinced by the other foxes if he's in a good enough mood. Andrew has observed Neil's five stages of drinking. 1. At first he's fine, he's just a little more talkative than usual. 2. As he gets tipsy he can be convinced to dance (typically Nicky's fault) 3. He's suddenly very friendly but overly paranoid. He wants to talk to Matt but he also won't stop glancing at the nearest exit every 5 seconds. 4. He gets competitive but it seems like he's just joking around so on the rare occasion Neil is drunk enough and around an equally drunk Kevin, Andrew is kind of in hell 5. Passed out. Low alcohol tolerance, Neil is out.

Neil actually wears a lot of Andrew's old stuff and they fit pretty well because even though he's shorter than him, three inches isn't that much of a difference for their clothing length, and Andrew has a broader shoulder build and is generally pretty muscular (person HC) so like, Andrew's stuff fits him. Neil wears his old jerseys, mostly, especially when they become long distance. Those two aren't face timing if Neil isn't wearing Andrew's clothes that he kept when Andrew left.

Controversial headcanon, Neil gets an honest to god tattoo that he wants. He gets a sleeve on his forearm that really nicely covers up the burns, anyone looking at first glance and not knowing they were there would mostly just see the design. When Neil tells Andrew he's thinking about doing this, Andrew comes very close to death by choking on coffee. They spend the next like, week sending each other tattoo designs and Andrew starts thinking about getting some over his scars, but decides not to since he wears his arm bands all the time anyways and he's not a big fan of the idea of a stranger putting a needle in his arm for several hours.

Andrew cuts Neil's hair. He trusts no one else.

Andrew is in fact a sucker for Neil so should Neil ever get injured or sick in the slightest Andrew does have a small tendency to hover. Neil's just trying to make some breakfast and Andrew is standing behind with cough medicine like "You should rest" and Neil swears he wasn't there three seconds ago.

Actually they didn't get the cats at the same time they got them individually (agreed to) and they picked them out together when they were visiting each other. However, when they moved in together they had to introduce Sir and King and it was a bit of a painful process and Andrew eventually just sprayed catnip all over the apartment while Neil was out and waited for those two to lose their shit and fall asleep together. This was a repeated process until they stopped fighting each other and started sleeping together and getting along. Andrew refuses to tell Neil how he did it and says that he just told them to do it

Thank you Anon!! Enjoy 🤗

[garmmy]

2024 jp trip report (food edition)

i had originally planned to visit tokyo in 2020, but covid happened and...finally this year i managed to go on the trip! ;w; i rarely go overseas but it was really fun just walking around and stumbling upon things. i want to save up for the next japan trip already...

i'm making the post mostly to remember where i've been! i'm splitting up the food and the sights because of tumblr's image limit per post 🙄 will be posting the food here!

(sights edition here)

Day 1 (13/5/2024)

we arrived at night so pretty much everything was closed, but before i went to bed i had some cold haikara udon...i love cold udon so much and wish there was a way to get it cheap back home 😭 i also added some chilli oil with garlic, but it wasn't spicy..only the first day in and i miss singapore's spicy food 😂

Nakau なか卯 (chain store, multiple outlets)

Day 2 (14/5/2024)

we spent day 2 at ikebukuro and nakano...mostly browsing weeb shit 😭

started the day with some breakfast at komeda's coffee, they have a morning set and auugfhjhghh the bread used in japan cafes' toast is always so soft and fluffy..obsessed

Komeda's Coffee コメダ珈琲店 (chain store, multiple outlets)

at nakano broadway, the basement had some supermarkets/grocery stores and one of them sold sashimi. i didn't end up buying from here, but...LOOK at this sashimi, for 580jpy?? omg 😭😭😭 i want

we had lunch at a hayashi rice place near nakano broadway! i had curry omurice myself while my friend got the hayashi omurice. the omelette was sooo good...society if i could cook an egg like this on my own

Hayashi-ya Nakano-so ハヤシ屋中野荘 164-0001 Tokyo, Nakano City, Nakano, 5 Chome-55-15

and for dinner we had monjayaki at ikebukuro..we've never tried like, actually cooking the monjayaki before? so it was a fun experience!

Monjaya Mon もんじゃや紋 170-0013 Tokyo, Toshima City, Higashiikebukuro, 1 Chome−12−10 ヤンズビル 3F

Day 3 (15/5/2024)

on my morning walk i decided to try a canned drink from a vending machine. satsuma-imo milk! so in singapore, there was recently a 'nutri-grade' rating introduced mandatory for all drinks to indicate the sugar level in the drink. i didn't think i would miss it in japan LOL i'm sorry but drinking this drink was like drinking sugar syrup T_TT i think as i got older my sugar tolerance has drastically dropped..

we started at akihabara, and had brunch at niku no mansei (yes the well-known building with like 10 floors of meat before it closed, i think it split into a couple of places?) we went to the akiba place branch for their hemborger hamburg steak...how am i supposed to go back to eating it in singapore after this?? 🫠 IT'S SO GOOD (i'm also laughing at the token broccoli though)

Niku no Mansei Akiba Place 肉の万世 アキバプレイス店 101-0021 Tokyo, Chiyoda City, Sotokanda, 3 Chome−15−1, Akiba Place, 3F

after akiba we went to asakusa, and since it's asakusa we had to have some tendon..we just went into one of the tendon places we spotted but i didn't realise it was akimitsu!? we have akimitsu in singapore too 😂 but loved the tempura eel!

Akimitsu 秋光 111-0032 Tokyo, Taito City, Asakusa, 1 Chome-29-11

Day 4 (16/5/2024)

i got some plum onigiri from famima for breakfast on my morning walk. oughgkhghjh i already miss conbini onigiri so much...affordable yet tasty! i really love onigiri, but our convenience store onigiri in singapore is a bit overpriced, which wouldn't be so bad if the onigiri itself wasn't also terrible with cold hard rice :')

we started the day at tsukiji outer market. SEAFOOD..... we finally got some sashimi today, my beloved,,, we had engawa truffle salt sushi and also a sashimi bowl of the day. and also it was my first time trying shiokara! apparently it's squid in a kind of sauce made from fermented fish/sea animal innards. i'm not sure if it might be an acquired taste, but for a seafood lover like me it was so good 🥺 the lady serving us food was also really nice and we had a little chat even with our terrible spoken japanese lol.

Taneichi たねいち 104-0045 Tokyo, Chuo City, Tsukiji, 4 Chome-9-5

i also found shirako in the market! it was my first time eating it (i think it can be found in singapore? but not particularly common). other than the shiso leaf it was served plain though, while i like the taste i kinda wish i had rice or something to go with it.

also we got some matcha latte from the market before leaving! i got the 'less sweet' which was perfect, when a lot of times the least sweet (without being zero sugar) option from drink stores are too sweet for me..

Matcha Stand Maruni マッチャスタンドマルニ 104-0045 Tokyo, Chuo City, Tsukiji, 4 Chome−14−18

some ramen for dinner at ryogoku! admittedly i'm not a super into ramen person 😅 but butter in noodles is always such a nice combo!

Tadokoro Shoten 田所商店 (chain store, multiple outlets)

and some parfait for supper. look at their logo!! so cute 🥹🥹🥹

Mayonaka Farm (Ryogoku Yokozuna Yokocho outlet) 真夜中牧場 両国横綱横丁店 130-0026 Tokyo, Sumida City, Ryogoku, 3 Chome-22-8

Day 5 (17/5/2024)

started the day with some zaru soba. it was nice but cold soba was kind of a mistake because it was raining that morning and so COLD lol

Yudetaro ゆで太郎 (chain store, multiple outlets)

we started at shinjuku today and walked our way down to shibuya. with my friend's recommendation we tried blue bottle coffee? the latte was nice and even had this natural sweetness(?) to it despite not adding sugar.

Blue Bottle Coffee ブルーボトルコーヒー (chain store, multiple outlets)

and then we went to takeshita street. i think marion crepes is the most well-known one, but the queue..??? so we ended up going to another crepe store. it's still a treat and has a variety of flavours! i got the regular strawberry whipped cream.

Santa Monica Crepes サンタモニカクレープ 150-0001 Tokyo, Shibuya City, Jingumae, 1 Chome-16-16-8

late lunch at yomenya goemon! i had the tarako butter one and i really liked it...i think i could try buying some mentaiko from donki back home and trying it out myself..

Yomenya Goemon 洋麵屋 五右衛門 (chain store, multiple outlets)

Day 6 (18/5/2024)

conbini haul for the morning. i would like to shoutout to famima's pudding in particular; i feel a lot of store-bought pudding tend to be closer to the jelly-like consistency, but i prefer my pudding to be closer to the creamy? eggy? like consistency and famima's pudding is perfect for the price ;w;

we went to miura peninsula in kanagawa for the day using the misaki maguro ticket (it's so worth!! highly recommend if you want a day trip from tokyo). for breakfast we had some coffee and toast at coffee house poem. their signature blend (kaigan blend) in particular was really unique and nice..kinda regret not ordering that for myself 😂 love the rustic interior too!

Coffee House Poem (Miurakaigan outlet) ぽえむ三浦海岸駅前店 238-0101 Kanagawa, Miura, Minamishitauramachi, Kamimiyada-3130

nearby there's a souvenir shop selling mainly jams, and pickles (including daikon, one of miura's specialties). did you know that i hated eating radish until japanese daikon changed my life 🤣 i also got some persimmon jam to try since i'd never really heard of it! and also some honey+daikon candy.

Temiyage Iroiro Miura Store 手土産いろいろ 三浦ストア 238-0101 Kanagawa, Miura, Minamishitauramachi, Kamimiyada-3255

and finally we got SUSHI...i could cry the maguro here is so good 😭😭😭😭😭 the place is called 'kaitenzushi kaisen', but the sushi does not actually 'kaiten'/revolve, the chefs just serve it 😂 we used the maguro ticket on this so we got some maguro and some local catch!

Kaitenzushi Kaisen 廻転寿司 海鮮 238-0101 Kanagawa, Miura, Minamishitauramachi, Kamimiyada-3372-18

we then took the train to misakiguchi station, and the bus to misaki port. there's a market there called urari marche, which sells seafood and veggies mainly. we got some skewer hotate (scallop) and maguro karaage there! i was not a big fan of the maguro karaage though..i still think maguro is best as sashimi lol

Urari Marché うらりマルシェ 238-0243 Kanagawa, Miura, Misaki, 5 Chome-3-1

right next to the port was a cafe i used my ticket on, for some danish loaf with pistachio ice cream and a coffee drink. the ice cream goes so well with the fruity loaf!

3204 bread&gelato 238-0243 Kanagawa, Miura, Misaki, 3 Chome-12-10

Day 7 (19/5/2024)

went for a short walk at ueno park in the morning. there were some food stalls there! we tried some of the freshly roasted hojicha, and also some mitarashi dango. there's some skewered fish that looked good but i didn't try because i was scared of the bones 😅 and other kinda matsuri-like foods such as kakigori and yakisoba, a bit higher priced i guess because of the tourists there but i'm not a fan of yakisoba so 😆

also there was an asian food festival going on near shinobazu pond! i didn't try the food (it seemed largely SEAsian food, we can get cheaper thai, viet food etc in singapore anyway), but also for some reason there is a food truck for US food? and the representative food is 'american long potato' 😂 is that a thing in US? (ok but i know US is huge)

i met up with a friend for lunch at akiba and they recommended ootoya! a restaurant chain for teishoku. i got the recommended fried fish and veg in sweet vinegar sauce and 🥺 the taste mix is so good! i also wanted to randomly bring up something i'll miss about japan: pretty much every eatery, whether cafe or restaurant, serves free water, or even green tea! you rarely get free water in singapore eateries even though we have friggin drinkable tap water here 🙄 (except in japanese chains like saizeriya or sukiya..lol) you'll have to buy overpriced bottled mineral water or something even if you just want water to go with your meal.

Ootoya 大戸屋 (chain store, multiple outlets)

after some walking around akiba (i.e. combing weeb stores), we stopped for some thick fluffy toast and drink (mine was cinnamon toast and almond cafe latte) at vault coffee. true it was a sunday, but we were surprised that it was some random cafe hidden in third floor of what looked otherwise like a normal commercial building on the outside, and it was still soo crowded, we had to wait a little while to be seated!

VAULT COFFEE 101-0021 Tokyo, Chiyoda City, Sotokanda, 4 Chome−5−1 3F

and this marks the end of our week-long food journey in japan 😆 i had to save a lot of funds for my splurging on weeb and stationery stuff LOL, but i hope the next time i come i can focus more on sightseeing and food maybe! but for now it's back to capitalism to save up first 🏃

[blujayonthewing]

god I wish I liked hot chocolate more, I love it so much in theory but in practice I'm always just kinda done with it like four sips in

[roobylavender]

i missed that class what dont you like about starlins rendition of their relationship?

(and also like, DID you think he did something in particular well or was it all…meh

the crux of my issues in this regard stems from batman #416. in the post-crisis era you began to see this way more lopsided depiction of bruce and dick's relationship wherein the former was portrayed to be almost.. bitter that dick had moved on to establish his own life. and it stood in great, great contrast to the bruce of the pre-crisis era, who was certainly devastated at the realization that dick was growing up, but also very intent for him to find his own happiness and way in life. they would have their disagreements on occasion (e.g., bruce initially disapproving of dick dropping out of college, bruce immediately taking leadership of a situation where the titans were involved when dick was better equipped to handle it, etc.) but the outcome of those situations was never outright bad yknow. bruce was very much capable of recognizing where he might have overstepped and subsequently stepped back to let dick have his own space. and i think initially max allan collins expanded on that dynamic in the post-crisis era in interesting ways by juxtaposing bruce's desire to see dick flourish against his own constant fear for dick's life. so instead of mike w. barr's comedic and lighthearted backup stories in early 80s tec where bruce disguised himself to keep an eye on dick's shenanigans and assure himself everything was going alright, you got this more serious confrontation within bruce with regards to his position as a parent. i don't think a lot of people read it that deeply but i've always viewed batman #408 as one of the most sensible depictions of that dilemma. the general complaints tend to be that this issue robbed dick of his pre-crisis decision to retire robin on his own, and i'll concede that as a worthwhile concern. but i don't think it's esp damning what with the implication that bruce no longer wants to be the person indirectly making the decision for dick to continue to be in this line of work. their moment at dick's bedside is less about bruce robbing him of the decision and more about him saying, if i let you still be robin, that's a direct reflection on me, bc i'm the one who got you to do all of this originally. i'm the one who put you directly in harm's way. if you're going to do this from now on, you need to do it on your own terms. you need to decide for yourself that this is who you want to be, without your relationship with me even being a factor.

it's a moment contributive to that delicious dynamic between them wherein every decision bruce takes to service dick's agency is inevitably read the wrong way by the latter to imply that he's not valued or not worthy of being seen as bruce's equal (and before the hounds pounce on me this obv does not include the increasingly abusive depiction of their relationship as the 90s progressed). that is an unavoidable dilemma when you're simultaneously someone's ward/adopted son and also their partner-in-crime! dick wants to be bruce's son and to be entitled to all of the love and care and protection that that entails but he also wants to be bruce's brother, his equal, his confidante, the one person he trusts more than anyone else in the world, etc. it's a tough place to be! it is paradoxical! and i'm so, so open to seeing that explored and think the way collins attempted to approach it in #408 was marvelous. but the way starlin (and other writers as well) totally swerved right in #416 to create this sudden resentment in bruce that dick had grown out of needing him was.. so utterly bizarre. like completely out of left field in a way i don't understand why people don't question it anymore bc in light of everything in the immediate fifteen years prior to the crisis it makes so little sense. their relationship with each other was so valued, bruce was so anxious to see dick establish himself while nonetheless maintaining a protectiveness over him, but it was all very much in good will even if he could overstep on occasion. it had all of the potential to allow for a very nuanced, empathetic exploration into the dilemmas of parenthood and esp when you are someone like bruce who has to forever live and contend with the crime of taking kids with him out onto the streets. bc he has to feel guilty! there is no escaping it. this is history, done and dusted forever, can't go back in time, so on and so forth. whatever harm comes any robin's way he has to live with as in some part being traceable back to his own actions. and i frankly believe that would be far more likely to evoke grief and anxiousness and concern than it would be bitterness that his son is charting out his own life

[wayhavenots]

.

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

I was just about to make a post that said something like 'Eliza Scarlet and Inspector Wellington wish they had what Bobby Jones and Lady Frances Derwent have,' but the truth is they still have a looooonnnggg ways to go before they're actually to the point of actively desiring to work as an effective a team, instead of turning very single one of their interactions into either a competition or an opportunity to pointlessly take offense at the other (and most often, both at once).

[magnoliaalchemist]

i’m finally attempting a may star wars theme! here’s the twin suns i painted before i stick them in with everything

[bibberbang]

i dont think you should be able to take coffee and alcohol together like it shouldnt be possible. that sounds like a combination of drugs that should kill you

[astrxealis]

damn i never thought i'd get into stardew valley this much but here we are !! makes perfect sense tho

[zealctry]

i'm always puzzled as to why people assume that a religion that promotes mass slaughter and using your own body (or others') as a conduit ( Ryuki ) or as a voodoo doll ( Hidan ) . .. . would give a damn about the social construct of virginity & general sexual practices. like. why. what's your justification. the body isn't a temple here, my dude, it's literally a tool.

( attachment is another story. )

[donghoonie-3]

Panicking rn 💀

[catcatb0y]

Does anyone else hit that point in conversation where it's like. Everything is a wall.

Not because everything actually IS a wall, but because you hit a wall once and that makes you suddenly doubt /everything/ you have to say?

Like, 'well I picked the wrong answer once, and I don't want to do it again-' it's like the equivalent of picking the same answer bubble too many times on a test, but you can't take the answers back and the first time you used that letter it was a guess (and it told you immediately after that you were wrong).

With every minor mistake, that wall just gets higher and higher and you get smaller and smaller...

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

wonder what will happen first. me finishing the (first) teshes fic and publishing it, or tapas reaching That Chapter.

[rowarn]

afab!reader, no prns, praise, edging, wet&messy, könig using ur clit as a fidget toy <3

könig, a trained lethal soldier, who suffers from anxiety. you would never know if you didn't know what you were looking for.

his biggest tell, for you, is the way he fidgets. with you.

you're like his own personal little fidget toy. his hands are always on you, kneading and squeezing your skin. most times you don't mind, you rather like having him touching you — your thighs, your waist, your butt, wherever he can get his hands honestly.

but sometimes...his hands wander. it's mindless, truly.

his eyes fixated on the tv playing some random show he decided he wanted to watch. but you couldn't pay attention, not when one big hand was shoved up your shirt groping your breasts and the other was haphazardly stuffed into your sleep shorts and under your panties.

he's toying with you so mindlessly, callused fingers sliding over your clit that has grown increasingly slippery with how wet you've become. occasionally he dips down to prod at your slick entrance.

his movements have no rhyme or reason. he's not even moving very fast. just sloppy back and forth flicks and occasionally he simply taps his fingers against the little bud that has grown so sensitive from his playing. sometimes, when something interesting happens on tv, he stops completely until the desire the fidget returns to him.

you're sitting with your back against his chest, situated between his spread legs sprawled cozily on the couch. he can't see the heated, dazed look on your face from the come-and-go pleasure he inadvertently gives you. he's edging you without even realizing it, full attention still focused on the damn tv. he isn't even hard.

that thought alone is enough to make you clench around nothing. he's really just playing with you like a little toy and that thought is so hot to you. it makes you cheeks burn in embarrassment as you continue to leak into your panties.

if you listen close you can hear with wet clicking noise that comes with his movements. your eyes roll back in your head as that sound alone has your back arching but you quickly settle yourself down, not wanting to tear his attention from the tv — he so rarely had time to settle down and just enjoy tv, you didn't want to disturb him.

the episode he's watching ends and you cast a hopeful glance up at him but he's waiting for the next episode to start and it makes you whine against your own wishes. but your clit is so hard and twitchy from being edged that it's actually hurting and you're so wet now that your panties are uncomfortably sticky.

it's your whine that gets his attention, pretty blue eyes flicking down to your face where he finally sees the desperate way you're looking at him, teary eyes and swollen lips from biting them to keep quiet. you can see in his eyes when he registers how soaked you've gotten his fingers and he has the audacity to look sheepish.

"ah, my sweet..." he whispers, ears tinged pink, "i-i'm sorry, i did not realize..."

he moves to pull his hand out of your panties and you whine again, grabbing his wrist with both hands to stuff him back down. your nails bite into his skin and he stops trying to pull away, instead pushing his hand back down and it's then that he fully resisters how wet you are.

"don't stop, please...i-i've been so close..." you pitifully beg and he takes pity on you. how precious of you, he thinks.

"i'm sorry, my love," he coos, fingers starting to work once again — properly this time with quick little circles on your clit, "i'll make you cum for being so good for me."

you can't even formulate words, instead nodding and spreading your legs even further apart, your feet on either side of his legs. he hums softly in your ear, chin hooked over your shoulder as he watches his hand move under the fabric of your shorts.

he spreads your sticky folds apart and begins to swirl messily around your clit, occasionally lightly tapping against the bud just to watch the cute way your thighs twitch at the feeling. you reach back and clutch his t-shirt in your fists to ground you. his cock throbs, churning up quickly, at the loud, wet noise of him playing with your cunt.

it doesn't take long at all before your stiffening against him and twitching in his lap as you cum with a cute little gasp of his name. he moans softly in your ear as he feels your clit throb under the pads of his fingers. you let out the loveliest moans that has his cock hardening fully against his thigh.

when you slacken against his body, aftershocks making you twitch periodically as you pant, he's tempted to stop but the fact you had sat there so sweetly and let him practically torture you while he watched his show made him want to make it up to you.

he sees the excitement in your eyes when his fingers dip lower and begin to press into you and he can't believe just how sweet you are. your so sticky and wet with the amount of cum he worked out of you with such ease.

"let me really make it up to you, my little one..."