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#and the more you overthink it the worse it becomes
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In Mockingjay, if Snow’s objective was to emotionally break Katniss to the point where she would be unable to be the symbol of the rebellion, wouldn’t it have been more logical to show Peeta in his real deteriorated and abused state since the beginning? After all, it was only after seeing Peeta’s first propos where he looked healthier than ever that she made the decision to be the Mockingjay. If the first propos had actually shown Peeta was actually being tortured, how would have Katniss reacted? She was really fragile by this point and hadn’t actually become involved in the rebellion. Also, Katniss theorizes that Peeta’s first propos was actually filmed only a few days after he was captured, so Snow held onto that footage for several weeks before deciding to use it which is really interesting. I also realize that he wanted to use Peeta to manipulate the Capitol’s citizens, so his propos weren’t meant only to hurt Katniss. Am I overthinking this? 😅 I really love all your opinions so I’d thought I’d ask you about it it. Sorry if it’s all over the place. Thanks in advance and a have a great day ❤️
Hi non, I'm flattered you think so well of my opinions! Let's see what we can discuss about this one.
Idk if you've ever played with a cat, but in play with their humans, cats will wait and monitor before pouncing. They want the toy from the start, but they're calculating hunters. Snow treats Peeta and his appearances like Katniss is a cat trying to capture him. One appearance will not be enough, especially not with D13 involved. So his first move is to simply keep him away. Let her grief destroy her. Then, as she might be returning to functioning, hit her with her first sight of him in weeks. Then a little later with him looking so much worse that her "hunting" instinct becomes elevated. She can't trust anything she sees from the Capitol even more now and wants him. The third appearance is the one where he warns them 13 will be bombed.
I think that this appearance and Peeta's slip was all planned. Are we really to expect the highly controlled Capitol doesn't have a 10-second delay in their live feed? How would Peeta have known such sensitive information if it hadn't been given to him? The Capitol freaking out and cutting off the feed was all part of the act.
Snow didn't want Katniss dead from the bombs. She would become a martyr, a face on a poster to rally the troops. Even in D8, they bombed the hospital after she left. Makes you wonder if it was all a game for Snow's biggest show and break down for Katniss: getting her to kill Peeta.
Prim is the one who assigns Snow's motivation to break Katniss with Peeta. It would be a disservice to Prim and Suzanne to try and pull a "nuh-uh!!" to this point, however, I think it's telling the method Snow chose. It was to try and force her hand to take the life of the boy she loved, as Coriolanus had been willing to do to the girl he loved. To him, the world is an arena, yet Katniss never played by the rules she'd been given and that had been the problem. By Katniss finally killing Peeta as he wanted her to in the 74th Games, she would no longer be a martyr with a spotless reputation and she would have to live the rest of her life with the fact that she killed the boy she loved. To the audience, she would be a husband-killer, drawing her own weapon against the father of her would-have-been child. The lovers act would be proven to be nothing but a sham, because survival is more important than love, violence more key than compassion.
And like every time, Katniss proved him wrong.
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catcatb0y · 1 year
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Does anyone else hit that point in conversation where it's like. Everything is a wall.
Not because everything actually IS a wall, but because you hit a wall once and that makes you suddenly doubt /everything/ you have to say?
Like, 'well I picked the wrong answer once, and I don't want to do it again-' it's like the equivalent of picking the same answer bubble too many times on a test, but you can't take the answers back and the first time you used that letter it was a guess (and it told you immediately after that you were wrong).
With every minor mistake, that wall just gets higher and higher and you get smaller and smaller...
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sunsburns · 1 month
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friend or foe?
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pairing: dodge mason x fem!reader
summary: dodge mason has always had a hard time trusting people, but then he found you, and you made his life a little easier to get by. however, after becoming entangled with carp's wicked game of panic, he's starting to doubt your loyalty when you gain more points than him during a challenge.
—or: dodge mason is convinced you’re a traitor after you knock him off the top three
word count: 1.8k+
warnings: SMUT 17+, p in v, unprotected sex, slightly public sex (in a closet at a party), mean!dodge... but let’s be so fr he'd do anything to win panic, dom dodge, no use of y/n, manipulative tactics, situationships, summer hookups, kinda friends with benefits (?)
a/n: the lack of dodge mason fics is unsettling and i knew i had to take one for the team and wrote this short fic i hope yall enjoy!
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Dodge Mason is convinced you're working against him. 
In Panic, alliances were unspoken but understood. The game didn't officially recognize teams, but if you wanted to make it far, a little bit of teamwork never hurt anybody. Dodge thought the two of you had that kind of alliance. It was in the stolen glances you shared across the room, each one lingering just a heartbeat longer than necessary. There was a silent communication in the way your eyes would meet and hold, speaking volumes without a single word.
When you suggested he jump from a higher point on the cliff, promising more points, he believed you. And when he whispered the answers to the riddles hidden around Carp, he trusted that you wouldn't use them against him. The time you shoved him out of the way just before he could step onto one of Spurlock's bear traps—saving him from a potentially crippling injury—solidified his belief that you had each other's backs. The memory of the rusted metal teeth, camouflaged under layers of dirt, was a grim reminder of how close he had come to disaster. He owes you his leg, maybe even his life, this summer.
But gratitude turned bitter when you emerged from the farm with triple the items he had managed to gather. The look of triumph on your face as you snapped your haul with photos, pulling yourself from seventh place to the top three, was a knife in his back. Each item you produced knocked him, and the others, further down the rankings. 
Dodge felt his blood run hot the next day as you walked with a noticeable pep in your step, grinning from ear to ear. The pride radiating from you was like salt in a wound. As if to make matters worse, Dodge's anger simmered when he spotted you giggling on a lawn chair with Ray Hall at your side during the Players' Ball. 
You hold a plastic cup loosely in your hand, leaning closer to Ray to hear him over the music. Your short dress rides up as you lean in, but you don't seem to mind, bursting into another fit of giggles and playfully smacking his arm. Ray watches you with a sick grin, clearly enjoying your attention.
Dodge frowns. He had thought you were better than falling for Ray Hall's desperate antics. Seeing the two of you trade whispers and giggles like middle schoolers sharing secrets only confirms his suspicions. After the Walk the Plank challenge, he knew Ray wanted him to fail and had done everything possible to ensure Dodge wouldn't win. 
He had told you about it, but you had brushed it off. "You're overthinking it, Dodge," you had said. You swore that Ray was just trying to mess with his head, not that he actually wanted him to get hurt. But now, watching you laugh with Ray, grinning about your position in the top three, Dodge could no longer see you as a friend or an ally. You were an opponent. You were against him now. He's sure of it.
Dodge replayed the events in his mind, trying to pinpoint where things had gone wrong. Had he misread the situation? Were you playing him the whole time? The anger and confusion twisted inside him, morphing into a resolve. 
The game is ruthless, and so are you, it seems. 
"Uh oh, trouble in paradise?" Natalie slumps against his shoulder, the contents of her cup nearly spilling. Drunk as she is, she tries not to laugh when she spots you with Ray. "She's probably just trying to butter him up for Heather."
"Right," Dodge mutters, his eyes never leaving you.
"She's too sweet for Ray. He's all rough edges." Natalie frowns and steps away from Dodge, barely holding herself up. "I'm gonna go look for Heather," she says, but before she leaves, she pats Dodge on the back and leans close to whisper, "If you really think she's double-crossing you, remember: keep your friends close, enemies closer."
And close he kept you.
Chest pressed to your back, his arm circles your waist, free hand gripping your neck and chin, keeping your head up so it falls back against his shoulder. You try to hold onto something, reaching for the walls of the small closet as Dodge fucks you from behind to the muffled sounds of music and chatter from the other side of the door.
His hands had pushed up the ends of your dress, letting it sit high up on your stomach, your panties lost somewhere in the heated moment where his lips had once been pressed against your own, lipstick smudged on his mouth and your own. 
You're making noises that only spur him on; broken moans and cries and whimpers. Breathy praises of, "so good," and "yes, just like that," or "please, don't stop," and his favourite was your whisper of his name. "Dodge," where you were so gone that you couldn't think of anything else to say but his name. "Dodge, fuckfuck- Dodge. Mason. Fuck."
It makes him wonder, almost wistfully, what it would be like if neither of you had joined Panic. He imagines nights spent in the quiet intimacy of just the two of you, free from the game's pressures. Every morning, he'd wake up with you by his side, your presence a comforting constant. Each second of summer would be yours to share. 
Before Panic, there had always been something unspoken between you, a spark that ignited in stolen moments. Hidden kisses behind the diner where he worked felt like secret treasures, each one a promise of something more. The lingering touches when you'd pass him a pen in class sent shivers down his spine, a silent communication of desire. He had wanted you for so long, and he knew you felt the same. It was in the way your eyes would lock onto his, a shared understanding that needed no words.
While Dodge had his own reasons for taking Panic so seriously, he couldn't fathom why you would cross him the way you did. The betrayal cut deep, not just because of the game but because it was you. Maybe you enjoyed watching his heart crumble, deriving some twisted satisfaction from his pain. The thought tormented him, feeding his growing resentment and confusion. How could something that once felt so right go so terribly wrong?
"Fuck, Dodge-"
Your hands find a home in his hair, unable to find anything else to stabilize yourself with. His hand on your neck slides down from your collarbone to your chest and rests on your breast, fingers teasing your nipple through the fabric of your dress, the ghost of his touch has you shuddering. 
You turn your head and try to kiss him, but he dodges it and readjusts his grip on you, loosening his arm around your waist so his hand could trail further down to find your clit. The rough pad of his finger brushes over it a few times, eliciting whimpers from you before he settles for simply resting his finger on your clit. With each thrust, your hips are jostled against his finger just enough to send sparks of electricity shooting through your veins.
He pushes into you a little rougher, a little faster and holds onto you harder, hard enough that his hands will leave marks on your skin when he brings one of them back to your neck, squeezing. Dodge leans down to bite your shoulder so he can hold back his moans, shutting his eyes tightly so he can only focus on the way your walls are tight and wet around his cock, sucking him in with each thrust, pulsing as you creep to your orgasm and he works himself to his own.
"Dodge," you huff, "I- oh, oh,"
Dodge wonders if you know that he knows about your alliance with Ray. He wonders if it's true at all or if he's made it all up in his head and is causing himself to spiral with Natalie telling him things like the devil on his shoulder. 
"You-" he groans out, too far gone to string together a coherent sentence, a bit afraid that if he spoke he'd only call you a traitor and a liar. "You feel so good, baby." 
You try kissing him again, but he doesn't let you, your lips meeting the shell of his ear as he bites onto your shoulder again. You pout, tugging his hair once before dropping your hands to hold his arms.
"Please, Dodge." You whine, "Kiss me, please, I-" A moan causes you to stutter, "I need it- you so bad, please."
Then, there’s a savage thrust of his hips, one that has both of you crying out in surprise and pleasure: he freezes buried to the hilt inside you. "Yeah?"
"Yes, please," you gasp.
"Just how you need Ray, right?"
You falter, "Wha-what?"
"You heard me."
Dodge holds you by the hips, pulling his arms from your grasp and starts to pound into you again like a petty whore, as if you owe it to him to have your night ruined and his a little better as he chases his orgasm with your tight cunt.
And when it comes, his teeth skin into the skin of your shoulder again, muffled moans slipping past his lips, and he digs his fingernails into your sides, letting your unsatisfied whimpers coax him through it. Dodge keeps rolling his hips against your ass in shallow movements for a few seconds. His mouth is occupied with sucking bruises into your shoulder, up your neck and across your throat: he’s mumbling something incoherent, slurring words of "traitor," and "trusted you" into your skin. Each fresh bruise has you gasping for his name.
He stuffs his cock back into his pants, even tugs the ends of your dress back down to your thighs for your own sake, or maybe it's to embarrass you further. Dodge doesn't wipe your lipstick from his mouth before he presses his lips against your cheek, ignoring the way you weakly say his name, refusing to let you explain yourself. 
He pulls away and leaves, slamming the door behind him.
Dodge never realizes that he should've heard you out until Heather Nill rushes up to his search of you, breathless and panicked even through the drunken gaze in her eyes. "Ray's lookin' for her. Nothing good."
Heather explains that Ray is on the hunt for you, furious after discovering that you had given him false information about someone who supposedly had intel on future challenges. The lie had cost Ray twelve points, getting him caught by a judge and knocking him out of the top three, bringing Dodge back up, his name right under yours.
He almost turns back, to find you in the darkness of some forgotten corner, where he imagines you, broken and tear-streaked. But the resurgence of himself in the top ranks fuels a different fire within Dodge, one that drowns out the empathy he feels for you. This time, when the next challenge looms, he can't afford any more distractions—not from Ray, Natalie, or even you.
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moonit3 · 7 months
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THE HAREM
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➥ warnings/notices: yandere, gn! reader, harem (both of men and women), obsession, mentioned pregnancy, reader isn’t straight, mentioned children, nudity but nothing too much, the retired emperor (your father) wants grandchildren.
➥ synopsis: maybe a harem isn’t a bad idea after all, not with a bunch of people wanting to be yours.
➥ yandere! concubines harem x gn! reader
➥ a/n: here it is, my friends. an entire piece of a bunch of people obsessing over chasing the reader and able to anything to make you their. as the people has speak, the harem consists of men and women to let you guys choose or imagine about the concubines. I don’t what to say more, so enjoy it!
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inheriting the throne of the empire, father and the council decided that you should get married soon as possible, which wasn’t bad. you already expected to enter a marriage like everyone told you so, but you didn’t expect that father would send a bunch of concubines to the palace…why did he do that? is he crazy?
according to him, it would be beneficial to the empire to have more connection with nobles of the territory and other people from other part of the world. but also that he desperately want grandkids to be running around the palace and since you are unsuccessful in striking a conversation, father is more than willingly to help you. he is lucky that you love him, because you were ready to choke him for those stupid actions.
things gotten worse by the time you receive the many proposals from people that are willing to join your harem, it’s shocked you a little. many nobles, foreigners and even politicians are offering themselves to become your concubines.
many palaces were build or reformed to be home for those who were assigned to enter your harem. the walls of golden, silver and other expensive material are a great to show how the leader of the nation isn’t above to spend his fortune to accommodate the people that will be part of their daily life, but it’s also a remind that none should interrupt the emperor/empress in their work, but some of those concubines ignore that.
it’s easy to find the most boldly and shameless people from your harem inside your office, whispering to your ears things that none should say during work hours and trying to move their hands to your lower parts. that irritates you, they are supposed to be bothering you on your free hours like you expected, but they don’t care. your beloved concubines knows that you don’t have courage to punish or exile them for their actions, aren’t you a sweetheart? so they often try to make a move on you when you less expected.
one of those unexpected moments was during your bath, when you prefer to be alone and peace that didn’t last long. a man and a woman appeared from nowhere and they were complete naked, showing their intimate part to you. before you could disappear or command them to leave, the men with white hair made you take a seat on his lap while the woman, with green hair, wash your body, speaking that someone so hard working like you should take a moment to rest with them.
your mind quickly remembers whose the two are, both of them are foreign knight who joined the harem not a long time ago. the scars they carry on their skin that tell stories of fights and conflicts, sunburn marks of spending hours under the sun working to archive the body of a warrior and good looking who could easily choose anyone to marry if they weren’t part of the harem.
neither of them dared to take things further, knowing that you are almost on the limit by having two concubines in your private bathroom, but that don’t stop them from trying to strike a special subject with you. asking if you already chose with who you will bed first and who will be the one to carry the first born/make you pregnant.
the two questions were enough to make you overthinking, how could you forget such an important thing and the main reason why there concubines? you need to give the throne a minimal of four potential heirs (father’s words) and for that, you need to choose at least three concubines.
with the bath ending, the two waved goodbye as they didn’t want to intrude your personal chambers when they notice how focused you got by his words. you didn’t saw the smiles on their faces, you failed to realize their plan is working and nor you perceived how the others concubines whispered to each other about the incoming rumors about you.
“it seems that our beloved is finally choosing someone to bed with them! it’s my chance to show myself to them!”
“w-will they take my consideration? the letters i wrote for them might work…”
“maybe they will choose more than one. the retired emperor said he wants at least four heirs from different people, so everyone has a chance!”
many days that were wasted to talk with father about the potential candidates were a lot, the old man couldn’t stop talking how happy he was when hearing yours words. “im going to be a grandfather! can’t you see how much proud am i to finally see you taking the first step to being with someone? i promise to help you raising the little ones!”and for next couple of hours, he didn’t stop talk about the potential scenarios with the hypothetical grandkids that he will spoils with no end.
when father finally stopped talking and went to retire for the rest of the night, you walked back to your office with the intention of finish paperwork that is meant for next month, but you found someone there. one of the tallest ladies of the harem with white curly hair that reach her chest and a dark skin that reminds of you callas lilies. a beautiful, no… a gorgeous woman stands in front of your with her hands holding your chin to look up at her starry eyes.
“my dear,” her voice is sweet as honey, but you can hear the undertones of it, holding back her true energy and you know she is more than a pretty face. “is that true of you choosing a concubine to bed with?”
“y-yeah.” you stuttered. why you did? you never did that before. “everyone knows it, why the question though, my lady?”
“because i was hoping to be the first one to experience it.” she whispered, holding your face closer to her chest, feeling how soft its feel against your cheek. “would you give me the pleasure of being your first, my dear?”
she is a bold one. unlike others who works at the shadows, manipulating and even killing those who are in their paths, the second born of the grand duke knows how to use her charms to enchants you to open your heart to let her in. her starry eyes are too bright to the darkness to the room, but you don’t move away from her gaze, at least not on your own.
a knock on the door reveals another concubine and it’s a familiar face, but also an old face from your childhood, the general. one of the greatest things to ever happen to the empire and responsible to bring many territories to the throne, he is also part of the harem. to think a powerful man like him left his own land to become a concubine for you is extraordinary, but worrying. none of them spoken, just keep staring at each other for minutes until the woman left the office without saying a word, but not before kissing your lips, it tasted like strawberries.
alone with the general, he step closer and guided your hand to his chest, letting you feel his heart skipping faster and faster just by your touch. his cheeks are burning red, an unlike view from the so called the coldest man of the empire, and when he opens his lips to speak, you can’t help but feel surprised.
“would i be selfish for asking to be the only one inside your heart? i can’t help myself when others talk with you, none of them deserve to be around you and touch you, but i do.” his face get closer, too closer to your lips. “give me a chance to show my love. give me a chance to be responsible for the first heir of the empire. let me be the father of your children and please, let me stay at your chambers every single night for the rest of our lives.”
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nrdmssgs · 10 months
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Kissing König on the forehead
Masterlist Kissing Ghost on the forehead Kissing Price on the forehead
TW: mentions of social anxiety
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His life consists of you. Literally: you have become the measure of everything. There are no more 'Fridays' or 'Novembers' - there are days, weeks and months, until he sees you again. No more rooms in his house - there is a wall to which he pressed his back, giving you more space to pass by, when he first saw you. There is a stove where you burned your fingers, making his heart ache when he saw your tears for the first time. There is a window, by which he fell on his knees and frantically stroked and kissed your hands, after he heard your timid confession. Anything beautiful he witnessed, anything meaningful he heard or read, made sense, only when he thought, how would he share it with you.
König knows, It's too much, his eagerness to be by your side constantly, his hunger for your touch, his feelings - he is too much. And he is afraid, so terribly and utterly afraid, that one day you see it too and leave him. So he restrains himself, tries to be less vocal, clasps his hands around his elbows to not hug you every minute, he is around. König carefully plans every conversation, you two will have, when he is back from deployment. Sometimes these imaginary chats end good, other times - you yell at him, but what is even worse - you cry. Your tears, even ones, he imagines pain him so badly - he immediately takes out his phone and texts you.
"I am so sorry, Schatz."
He snaps back to reality only when he gets your worried answer. Of course, you get scared and want to know, what happened. So he has to come up with some excuse.
"I am sorry for not being right now with you. I know, it's evening back at home, and you are probably watching some show, and I remember, how you like cuddling, while doing it. I'm sorry for not being there."
König finally puts the phone away, hissing at himself for this episode.
When he finally returns, you refuse to wait for him at home and come straight to the station. He allows himself to squeeze you in his arms, but deep inside his head, König counts. "One-two-three-four-five-it's time to let her go, you can't just stand there and embarrass her with your tenderness in front of everyone. You are becoming too much once again."
You interrupt his inner tirade. "Let's go home, love."
An entrance door shuts behind his back, and he finally takes a deep breath in, feeling the familiar scents of your shared house. König hears some strange repeating noise, lowers his eyes and notices that you are immersed in the fight with a jamming zipper on your jacket. On the very next moment, he kneels before you, moves your hands away from the zipper and tries to figure it out himself. It takes him a while, because he is afraid to pull too hard, finally destroying the jacket. You look at him warmly and laugh softly. "König don't worry, I can handle it."
At that moment, zipper finally breaks. König frowns.
"You couldn't just mind your business, you idiot? Now she is going to finally see, how overwhelming you are, how you break everything, you care for, how you smother those, who you love. Is that what you wanted?" An angry voice inside his head shouts and silences everything around, including König himself. He doesn't feel his lips starting to tremble, forming some apologetic mumbling. He doesn't hear, when you try to reassure him.
So you take a quick step forward, and embrace him, pressing your lips against his forehead. Maybe that angry voice exists only in his head, but it's not the first time, you witness König tearing himself apart for no reason.
"You are overthinking again, love. But its going to be ok, I promise." Another kiss on his forehead.
"You are not overwhelming to be with, you are not annoying. No." By this time, you know all the terrifying things König's mind whispers and shouts to itself.
"No one is going to get tired and leave you. Especially not me." You kiss his closed eyes, not caring for remains of dark camouflage paint on his skin.
"You are overthinking, and it is ok, because it shows, that you really care. It's not your fault." You press your lips against his face, so that he not only hears, but also feels, what you are saying.
And that silents Königs anxiety and self-doubt. He suddenly feels tired, but endlessly loved. He finally comes back home, pulling you into a long and tight embrace, not counting seconds this time.
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chaedomi · 8 months
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𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍 ✦ twtptflob
fem!child!reader x the blue pedelian (platonic!yan), kidnapping, mild injury, implied violence, unhealthy relationships; flowers don't attract butterflies alone. suddenly, others are gravitating to you, expanding your long list of obsessive admirers. pt. 1 ꨄ — masterlist
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HOW DID it end up like this? It all happened in the span of one night while you were asleep. And when you reopened your eyes, you quickly discovered that you were no longer inside your bedroom. You had time to explore every place in your manor, so when you couldn’t identify which part of the manor you were in, you began to panic and overthink.
Your distress got worse when a silver-haired female burst into the room and grabbed you into a hug as if there wasn’t some problem with this. At this point, you began to cry, fully convinced that you were kidnapped, pushing the woman away from you, and startling her. It was in chaos for a while, your screams mixing with your words as you wailed for your freedom. The woman tried to reassure you with sweet words, inclusive of the maids present who stepped in to assist by dangling pretty jewelry in front of your face to distract you.
Unfortunately, their efforts to appease you only increased your wails. When a masculine figure barged into the room this time, it was only then you stopped crying, in favor of blinking at him while the stray tears fell from the corner of your eyes. Staring at the male, you knew he looked familiar, your panicked mind just couldn’t identify who. 
When he approached you with a gentle smile, patted your head, and began this monologue of ‘protecting’ you, you finally put the pieces together; this male was no other than the heir of The Blue Pedelian, CASSIS. Oh, boy…
In truth, your kidnapping was all ROXANA's fault, and she had no choice but to admit that. God forbid if her family found out that she was the whole reason for your disappearance, it would even make her kind-hearted mother hold some form of grudge against her and result in her execution. Luckily, no one was able to trace the doings back to her… except her red-eyed freak of an older brother.
Satisfying her curiosity was not worth it. As they say, it killed the cat. Now, she was stuck reaping the consequences of her stupidity; distraught over your disappearance, and additional work that could have been avoided, in her plan.
…If her life didn't depend on his, you bet she would have already retaliated without mercy. How foolish, she gave him an inch and he took a mile.
But, who is to blame other than herself? To explain, it was a fleeting thought that crossed her mind one morning to which she initially paid no mind… till it stubbornly stuck inside her brain. From what she remembered, in The Abysmal Flower, Sylvia displayed extreme and obsessive feelings toward you, despite being the enemy, willing to risk her safety to keep you by her side. Due to her intervention, however, Sylvia remained out of the picture. Still, she began to wonder.
If Sylvia wasn’t immune to your adorable charms, could it possibly be the same for Cassis? And thus, it marked the beginning of her little experiment. It came as no surprise to her that Cassis was on guard when she first introduced you to him. After all, almost every Agriche child was a demon spawn.
Regardless of the precautions Cassis took, his guard quickly crumbled once he was exposed to your innocence and purity, much to Roxana’s amusement. His hostile attitude quickly evaporated, he even held you on his lap (with Roxana’s permission), reciting stories that would intrigue a child your age. …She wished he was that cooperative with her as well.
She continued this pattern for a few weeks… every day, she would spare some time to take you to Cassis and observe how it played out in the distance. And each time, it never failed to entertain her. A righteous and kept man like him becomes nothing more than a slave for a child, an enemy’s child. She was long satisfied with her discovery, it’s just that Cassis was always in a better mood and more willing to listen after he spent his time with you.
But the day Cassis got too comfortable and had the guts to refer to you as one of his SIBLINGS, she realized, she may have spoiled him too much. She never had a problem when Sylvia referred to you as her ‘little sister.’ However, that was BEFORE she was thrown into the novel world. Now that she had the opportunity to experience your kindness herself, anyone who tried to make their claim on you outside the family is nothing LESS aggravating. And that was the end of your little visits.
That’s when it went downhill. Of course, Cassis was quick to pick up on your sudden absence throughout the days. He tried to ask, but once Roxana's tone progressively got more aggressive the longer he persisted, he finally got the hint. He wasn't seeing you again.
Roxana was grateful that Cassis had shut his mouth after a while. But, she found it odd how compliant he remained without your presence. More so, she hated the way he stared at her, a hidden intent she couldn't figure out in his eyes. It intensified when she gave him a map of the manor, a faint sighting of a smirk ghosting his lips. …Out of all people, Roxana would have never expected Cassis to kidnap someone. Trust no one, as they say. What an arse… Repaying her good deeds with this.
And so, the manor of The Black Agriche was thrown into a frenzy, having lost something very precious. Unless Roxana wanted to stir more trouble with hasty actions, she must sit quietly for now. …At the very least she didn’t need to worry about your safety. Unlike The Black Agriche, The Blue Pedelian will never torture their captives, let alone a young child like you…
Meanwhile, you were having your own crisis. This was a very drastic change. Although the violent nature of your family often terrifies you, you have grown used to it… kind of. Now, with the serene environment of The Blue Pedelians, you've grown antsy, anticipating some form of chaos to arise.
Ignoring how he took you without your agreement (no matter how hard he tried to justify his actions in a good light), you felt more comfortable being around CASSIS than the rest of the family. You weren’t sure if the times spent together back in your manor contributed to your lack of fear around him or relieved over the fact that your situation could have been very worse, and you didn’t care all that much. Cassis's attitude toward you didn’t change from when he was held prisoner, instead, his doting habits only increased now that his actions were not limited and monitored. He spoils you a lot, more than he spoils his younger sister. He will try his hardest to provide whatever you want, as long as it stays within the 'reasonable' range.
And by 'reasonable' he means, stop asking him to return you home. Suddenly, he understood Roxana's frustration. Is this what she felt when he continuously persisted? He doesn't get why you would want to return home out of all places; your family is vile.
It's not like you wanted to return, you had to. Although you wished to run away and never return, the odds were still not in your favor for you to make your escape plan. Something also told you that residing in The Blue Pedelian Manor was its own kind of hell…
The possible feud that can brew if your whereabouts were revealed made your skin crawl with fear. Knowing your value between the two families as well, you would be caught in the crossfire, and who knows what would happen to you then… You were trying to make things better for you, not destroy all your chances.
Cassis still didn't listen to your concerns (he never does), shutting down your complaints with a stern glare. …You just hope whatever war was to break out, it would happen later rather than sooner…
Just what was wrong with you? He’s trying his hardest to get you accustomed to your new surroundings, spoiling you with gifts, spending time with you along with his sister, anything to put you at ease. Yet, you just didn’t care! All you did was flush his efforts down the drain. He thought he was making progress with you, so he would never expected it, hell, even imagined it. But, when he caught you creeping around the exit gates, your freaked-out expression said it all. Now, here you were, leg chained to the bedpost back inside your prison-like bedroom. Seeing you chained up reminded him of himself, and it was interesting to see the roles switch to some extent. Truthfully, your tears pained him, but, he didn’t see the point in you crying. He wasn’t doing anything bad and he wished that you’d stop acting as if he was.
"Why can’t you understand that this is for your benefit?"
Oh? SYLVIA adores you? Why, that's no secret and is obvious to anyone who witnesses the interaction between you and her. Why wouldn't she love you!? You're everything she ever wanted in a younger sister… well, minus the looks, but, she can get past that!
MORE doting than Cassis, it's overbearing, honestly. Ever since your first encounter, you don't remember a time when you were left alone; it's always some lousy excuse to be around you. She hugs, kisses, cuddles, squishes, and any affectionate gesture she can think of, she does it to you. It was like she was trying to merge herself with you.
Honestly, her compassion spooked you. Her behavior reminded you a lot of your second stepmother, Maria. So, you weren't surprised when she had some hostile reaction whenever a maid would unintentionally interrupt your 'bonding' time. The sweeter they are, the more aggressive. Well, at least there weren't any dead bodies scattered on the ground…
Have you ever been so upset that you began to cry? Sylvia is a perfect demonstration of that. Perhaps you were right to compare her to Maria, the rage evident on her face was akin to the deadly glare your stepmother wore when she was furious. Flashbacks clouded your mind of how Maria snapped when a servant accidentally spilled milk on your gown. This situation was much different; a maid somehow cut your hand with the teacup. The one time Sylvia thought it was a good idea to let you get some fresh air outside your room, the fun atmosphere was ruined by something silly as this. It’s no surprise if your family lashed out, but to see a sophisticated woman such as Sylvia spew out words of profanity and behave so hostile was unexpected. At the very least, you appreciated she held back for your sake. With the way her hands shook with rage the longer she chewed out the maid, you had the impression Sylvia wanted to do much more than a stern talking to.
“There you are! I looked for you everywhere. I was beginning to worry that you’ve run away, but, you won’t do that to me, right?”
Your fear of RISCHEL was reasonable. Given his position inside his household, you two never met that often. However, the rare times you do meet, his piercing gaze never fails to make you shrink back on yourself. If you think about it, his hateful attitude made sense. You were one of the many offsprings of his biggest enemy, Lante, and said enemy kidnapped his son and tormented him mercilessly. Some of his son’s many torturers included Lante’s children, so you could just imagine the many scenarios that went through his mind. You don’t blame him if he was tempted to torment you, solely for Lante having a taste of his own medicine.
While Rischel’s expression came across as wanting to bury you six feet under, in truth, he was very much intrigued by your existence. It was confusing to see his son return with an unconscious child after escaping. And for a moment he feared that his son went mad when the child held in his arms was an Agriche and pleaded for your protection.
He was hesitant (for good reason) but ultimately agreed in the end. If his son saw something valuable in you, then there must be some worth in keeping you around. However, it didn’t mean he automatically trusted you. Without your knowledge, he monitored you, planting eyes everywhere. Any suspicious activity he was informed of would be enough validation for him to throw you out with no hesitation.
…So how exactly did his wariness morph into overwhelming softness toward you? (like father like son) The feeling just dawned upon him and he noticed it all: your mannerisms, your innocence, it slowly rubbed on him in a positive light. This was strange. He wonders if you had used a spell on him, no one should fall under anyone’s whims so suddenly as if you possessed this charm that melts even the hearts of the cold-blooded. But, oh, did the feeling around you feel so nice. And soon, he simply gave in to the desire to love you and protect you.
You realized how much more tolerable he became of your presence, to your relief. Even so, the feelings you saw on the outside couldn’t begin to compare to the rapidly developing obsessive feelings he harbored for you. And by the time you began to pick up on the dangerous signals, the damage was already done.
You were beyond speechless when you looked into the reflection of the mirror, staring at someone else entirely. Her hair was a shade of pure silver, and her eyes resembled the golden rays of the sun. As you reached your hand out to touch the glass, your body froze as reality sunk in. This was not another person, but rather you, with a new appearance and identity you were forced to carry. Looking over your shoulder, you glanced at the faces of Rischel, Cassis, and Sylvia, hoping for all of this to be one big joke. But, the pleased glances they returned alerted you that this situation was far from a joke, and you had to accept your new fate.
“Sylvia was correct. This look suits you perfectly.”
You were stressed and rightfully so. How could all of this happen? And why did it have to be you? You were still young and didn’t deserve to deal with these problems. In such a short amount of time, along with new obsessors formed, you temporarily resigned to a new lifestyle, switching from agriche to pedelian.
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©chaedomi. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of the works published.
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dumplingsjinson · 3 months
Text
List of “presenting: an overthinker” prompts
“Do they actually like me?” 
Mind racing with a million thoughts about the possibility of things, and being scared they’ll actually happen, even if they are irrational as all hell. 
“So I… You know what, don’t worry about it.” “Are you sure? Because when you say that, that makes me worry more.” 
“I don’t know if I can do this.” 
“Do I even deserve any of this?” 
The constant need for reassurance, and even that isn’t enough to keep your thoughts at bay. 
Feeling the need to apologise for something you didn’t even do wrong.
Sitting in your anxiety and muddled up thoughts for hours when you don’t get a reply from that one person in a timely manner; wondering if you’ve fucked it all up with whatever you’ve said.
Reaching out to them multiple times and making your spiral worse when they stay silent on you.
It gets to the point where your overthinking feeds into your already growing anxiety, overwhelming you and eventually drawing tears out of you.
It gets so bad to the point where your chest feels tight, you feel numb and the world around you eventually becomes a monotonous blur because you’re too focused on this one thing you’re overthinking about. 
The rational subconscious of yours tries to drag you back to the side where things are okay and it’s really not that bad because it really isn’t that bad, but that small, irrational part of you takes ahold of you and continues to anchor you down.
You try to redirect your thoughts and it works for a bit… But then you eventually come back around to those thoughts. Sometimes, redirecting doesn’t work so you end up drowning in your own head.
Wondering if you’re being annoying by reaching out, even though you’ve been holding yourself back quite a lot, knowing you’re not being too much at all. Far from it, in fact. 
There are days when you so desperately wish you can escape your brain. Crawl out of your own skin, be someone who isn’t… Whatever the fuck this is. 
“I don’t want to be too much. I don’t want to need constant reassurance. It’s as suffocating for you as it is for me, maybe even more so, because I’m living in my own head, constantly. And it’s not something I can fucking just get out of overnight.” 
“I need to end this for my own good.” 
Drowning in your own never-ending spiral of negative thoughts. 
“Do you even care? Do you still love me? Does any of this even…”
“I’m sorry that/I hate that my brain is wired this way.” 
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adelheidvonschicksal · 2 months
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Megumi falling in love for the first time?
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Attempts at Friendship are Unappreciated
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Synopsis: Megumi doesn’t have a need for friends, let alone a lover. But upon getting his first crush, he learns some new things about himself, like maybe he cares more than he thinks.
pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x GN!Reader
content warning: SFW, potential friends to lovers, Megumi sorting out his feelings sort of stuff because cynical, overthinker Megumi is my favorite Megumi.
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If you were to ask Megumi, he didn’t have any need for friends. And he has been asked before by people like Gojo and his sister. The answer was always the same. He prefers being alone. People were too complicated. Too selfish. Too good. Too everything, really. And he was, well, himself.
Even after arriving at Jujutsu High, it’s still unnerving to him to have someone talk to him so earnestly, like his eyes weren’t permanently fixed with irritation, like he wasn’t constantly avoiding others, like he didn’t wear indifference like a new fur coat in the height of winter.
Itadori was an unexpected exception. An outburst of emotion intravenously linked him to the other boy, the golden strings of their destinies twined and knotted together on Fate’s spinning wheel.
You, on the other hand, have no reason to befriend him. He’s never had anything to offer others in return for their company, which never bothered him until he met you.
Megumi questioned what it was about you that allows you to get so close. So, he lets you talk, chattering his ear off in the covered walkway hosting the vending machines.
He studies you inch by inch, searching for something in the bright expression on your face and the crinkle of your eyes when you smile; he still doesn’t know exactly what he’s looking for. Your motive – the reason for wanting to talk to someone like him?
“What’s your favorite color?” you ask.
“I don’t have one.”
It may sound like a rude dismissal of your question but it's the truth, the painfully boring truth. He’s never put much thought into trivial things like that. The fact settles heavily in his stomach and rings hollow in his chest like when his sister said he’d never learn to make friends if he didn’t put himself out there.
Back then, Megumi pretended not to have heard her. In truth, it bothered him when she said it, only for the feeling to quickly fade away before he even left school that day. That strange void he felt back then always seems to resurface at the worst of times.
“Would you say that you like black or silver better? How about blue?”
Megumi looks down and plays with the tab on his orange juice can, avoiding the thing about you that makes him want to hear you talk. Megumi has no need for friends. Attempts at friendship aren’t appreciated.
“They’re all fine,” he grumbles out. It’s the maximum he allows.
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Megumi doesn’t have a type. It’s another one of those trivial things he’s never bothered to think about until his head was literally cracked through the pavement.
He knows all about types though, and he knows as much as he cares about romance from the bad to the good. Sweaty palms, blushing faces, pounding hearts were all reoccuring themes in his books.
Megumi never thought he’d have romantic feelings for anyone, no matter how fleeting. He reckons he isn’t capable of it. He just isn’t wired that way.
It’s comforting in a sense. It means he didn’t have to worry about attachments. Sure, he loves his sister, and Gojo, well, he cares for his benefactor, but he’s never considered the older man someone he felt okay investing all his feelings into. People his own age were complicated enough; adults were worse, his father was worse; the little he remembers anyway.
When he thinks about the way he met Gojo who too conveniently saved him from the Zen’in clan in exchange for becoming his student, it’s hard for him to let his trust flow purely even after all this time; even when Gojo took it upon himself to do Megumi favors like putting Itadori's room right next door (another thing Megumi didn't appreciate).
Megumi blames his long-seated resentment for the reason his heart starts to work overtime the day you present friendship bracelets to everyone. They’re fancy; many steps above the cheap kind that you’d find at some discount convenience store with plastic alphabets and random beads and symbols. He assumes a couple of the pieces might be real.
Kugisaki’s is green, shining on her wrist like emeralds. Megumi thinks it suits someone like Kugisaki, who would undoubtedly love to be covered in jewels. Itadori has a similar one, rotating with a pattern of red and opaque white pieces.
Standing in that hall, drowning out the conversation between Kugisaki and Itadori about who has the prettier bracelet, Megumi realizes he’s next.
It starts when you step in front of him; there’s a cautious tone to your voice when you say his name because you already know: attempts at friendship aren’t appreciated.
It's with a roll of anxiousness, the one that always comes with the mystery of whether his exchange with someone will be positive or negative and the skeptic thought in his head that reminds him most people always want something in return, that makes him throw up a wall.
“These probably aren’t your thing but I made one for you too,” you preface. “I hope you like it. I wasn’t really sure what to put on it so I made some guesses.”
You’re right. Friendship bracelets aren’t his thing; needing a token like a bracelet to prove your relationship to someone is asinine. It’s against what is supposed to make a friendship special. Strong friendships should need no words, right?
Most importantly, he doesn’t need it, and there’s no reason for you to give him one.
“You keep it,” he starts. However, it’s already too late as you grab his arm and slide the trinket over his hand.
“I don’t—” he starts again; there’s a bit of surprise in the way you look at him, the way everyone stops and looks at him actually. This quickly becomes one of those times where it’d be easier to go with the flow than to fight the current. “Fine.” He clears his throat. “Only because you already made it,” he explains more fully, stifling the embarrassment that wants to bubble from his chest with so much attention.
Like before, he finds himself too focused on watching you, the way your eyes soften from surprise and rejection to shining stars. He thinks this must be how the protagonists in those books feel when heat creeps up their neck. Those books also left him sorely unprepared that it would go past neck to his face and ears.
He breaks away from the situation, finding a way to retreat into the background to shield himself from the gooey feeling permeating the air. He drops his gaze to his arm, focusing on the bracelet with his name accompanied by a repetition of blue and silver, connecting the two—four—of you together.
Megumi fixes his sleeve over the bracelet, but he can’t hide how painfully aware he is of the charms rolling against his skin.
It was both a pleasant feeling and completely alien.
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It broke.
Megumi was a bit reckless against a low-level curse, and it broke. He didn’t even realize it until after the battle was over and one of the silver charms were rolling under his foot.
It shouldn’t have been a big deal. It was bound to happen eventually considering this line of work. Yet, he still picked up the few pieces he could separate from the gravel, and the entire ride home his wrist feels unreasonably bare.
Thinking about how he messed up makes him annoyed at himself, especially when he wonders what you’d think if you noticed he wasn’t wearing it. You’d probably think he tossed it somewhere; that he didn’t like it. He liked it. The same way he likes to listen to you talk on car rides home after missions or when you ask him to hang out with you and the others or when you read all the books he recommends with the protagonists that are quickly becoming too relatable with every skipped heartbeat and tongue-tied word. He’s frustrated to acknowledge why that’s the case.
It’s only been three months since the start of the school year, he thinks. It took only three months for his thoughts to start drifting to his classmates, with you almost always center stage in them.
When he arrives back at the school, he finds your room and knocks on your door. He shows you what little remains of the gift you gave him, as if he needs to immediately absolve himself of any wrongdoing.
“Do you want me to make you another one?” you ask cautiously.
Megumi can guess why you’re hesitant considering he only accepted your gift because of peer pressure. He still believes gifts like this are silly and unnecessary.
But…
“If you wouldn’t mind.”
He wants it.
So, he goes into your room where he watches you begin the process of making him another bracelet. You ask him which accessories he would prefer, and like always he doesn’t have much preference other than what you think is best. As long as it isn’t too silly, of course.
He gives his undivided attention to how your fingertips pour over your work kit and the many square boxes filled with different miniature shapes before you carefully pick out one with a little dog face.
“I think this one is good,” you whisper to yourself before continuing your search for another complementing bead.
You smile as you work. It’s nice. Cute even as you bite down on your lip in concentration; and right now, he isn’t quite sure what to do with that information other than note the way it makes his palms feel clammy especially when he notices your eyes lift back up to his.
Megumi notices a lot about you actually. He notices how you always go out your way to get his, well, everyone’s opinion on everything. He notices that whenever you share your snacks with everyone that you always save ginger for him. He notices how your gaze lingers on him when you ask if everyone is in one piece after difficult missions. He also notices how your finger stops over a silver square, one with a little black heart carved in each side. He wonders, perhaps too hopefully, if the charm is just one you think he’d like or if it means more than that.
“Why do you always keep trying to talk to me?” he asks, fighting the urge to beg you to stop getting stuck in his mind so much.
Your head snaps up from what you’re doing.
“What do you mean? We’re teammates,” you answer simply.
“Aren’t missions enough? We don’t need to interact aside from that.”
You pinch your eyebrows at him, and there’s a frown on your face. “Sure we do.”
“There’s no reason.”
It’s not like he ever saved your life, not like Itadori. It’s not like he has a somewhat familial relationship with you, like Gojo. You’re not his sibling or his parent; he’s not the friendlist either so there’s no reason to try to get closer any more than necessary, and there’s no reason for him to be feeling so nervous right now.
“How about because I like talking to you? I think you’re pretty funny, and you’re a kind person.” You shake your head, laughing. “I don’t know. I just like being friends with you.”
Megumi doesn’t know what he was expecting. Some deep explanation why you keep trying to get close to him? Some selfish excuse from you that he could use to warrant pushing you away. A reason to justify why he likes you so much? A reason to hope you like him just as much?
Maybe.
There doesn’t need to be some special reason for you wanting to be his friend, which means he doesn’t really need a reason either.
“I see.”
“Finished,” you say, holding out his newly made bracelet to him. “I poured some of my cursed energy into it, so it won’t break so easily next time.”
Megumi feels calm once again when he feels the weight and roll of the beads on his skin again; the aura of your curse energy humming through it makes the connection back to you much more noticeable.
“What about me?” you ask, drawing his attention. “Do you like being friends with me?”
Megumi can’t answer that, not because he doesn’t have an answer, but because he feels like his tongue weighs more than lead as you lean closer into him.
His eyes find your lips, soft and parted. This is the first time he’s gotten the urge to kiss someone. It makes his stomach whirlwind, and he quickly finds a way to answer you without having to look at you as he picks at one of the charms.
“Can I make you one?”
The next morning, Megumi decides to go out with you and the others for breakfast, which in hindsight was a mistake as Itadori points out the new accesory you’re wearing on your wrist.
“Hey, you got one too now.”
You smile, holding it up proudly. “Megumi made it for me!”
“Megumi?!” Itadori blurts out.
“Made it for you?” Nobara asks with raised eyebrows and a hand on her hip.
“He did a really good job.”
It’s like the time before when you first gave them their gifts, and everyone is looking at him again. “I didn’t do anything special; a monkey could do it,” he mumbles out.
Itadori is the first to crack a laugh followed by Kugisaki. Then, the two of them start muttering and teasing him in unison.
“He’s so modest,” Itadori points out.
“Loverboy,” Kugisaki whispers.
“Can we call you Megumi too?” Itadori asks.
Megumi doesn’t have the patience to consider whether the other boy is being genuine or not as he grits his teeth and growls out a quick “shut up” before konking Itadori on the head to prove his point. It’s enough to make them leave him alone for now as Itadori accidentally trips into Kugisaki from the force.
“That was completely unnecessary, Fushiguro,” Kugisaki grumbles as she pushes Itadori off and stands back to her feet.
Megumi sighs.
This is why he doesn’t want friends.
“Did you just sigh at me!”
“If that’s what you heard,” he tells her.
“You better sleep with both eyes open!”
“I’ll be sure to do that.”
Yet if it’s those two then he guesses having friends isn’t completely unbareable.
Suddenly, Megumi loses focus at the timbre of your laugh.
“You guys are starting early today.”
You’re still laughing at them, harder now actually, and it’s precious. He throws his gaze to the wall as if he’s ignoring Kugisaki and not trying to hide the heat blooming on his cheeks when you glance at him, making him aware that he’s the reason for your laughter.
Megumi shoves his hands in his pockets and rolls his thumb over the bracelet and the heart you left behind there.
Friendship is something he’s coming around to. Having a crush for the first time, well, he still needs work on figuring that out. 
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heartlilith · 7 months
Text
Self Care
Self Care for the signs; use your moon sign & house placement (transit moon and house placement work as well, you can even use your venus sign if you're feeling up to it)
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*TW: mental health disorders are talked about throughout
ARIES MOON/ARIES VENUS/1H MOON/1H VENUS: For these natives, I imagine a lot of energy swirling around the head and face. Stress can lead to overthinking, headaches, acne breakouts, and in more serious cases; vertigo, migraines, and hair loss. Exercise can really help these placements dispense of all the extra energy. It doesn't have to be something intense like body building or running miles (although it can be), it can be as simple as walking in nature or playing a sport with friends. Playing catch with your dog or playing a game of basketball. Other than exercise, Aries and 1st house placements can benefit from a spa day; whether at an actual spa or at home doing a skin care routine and a face mask. Guided meditation is great for these placements too in order to quiet the mind chatter. One last simple thing these natives can practice is turning off their phone for an hour a day; they're so involved in the world around them and sometimes that's a good thing but other times it can be very draining. Tune out the world and tune into your body.
TAURUS MOON/TAURUS VENUS/2H MOON/2H VENUS: Stressed out Taurus and 2nd house placements can struggle with their self esteem whether that shows up as arrogance or insecurity (Moon and Venus here can signify fluctuating self esteem). They also tend to hold a lot of stress in their shoulders creating soreness or even bad posture. Extreme stress can cause these natives to either withhold or indulge in things; usually in terms of food, money, or material possessions. This can lead to disordered eating, stinginess, overspending or possessiveness over their belongings, they do this to feel a sense of control in the midst of chaos. Taurus/2nd house placements would benefit from a massage either at a spa or from a loved one. Since the 2nd house rules over material possessions it's important for these people to reconnect with their element; Earth. Connecting with the Earth can look like gardening or caring for house plants, playing with animals, a simple walk outside, or nourishing their body with fresh fruits and vegetables. Since the 2nd house and Venus rules all things pleasurable, playing up the senses can really benefit these natives. Soft blankets, nice smelling candles or aromatherapy, listening to relaxing music, eating sweets or drinking warm tea are all things these placements can do to relax.
GEMINI MOON/GEMINI VENUS/3H MOON/3H VENUS: Gemini and 3rd house placements are very efficient people, normally. They are great multitaskers and great socializers. Stress with these placements usually shows up mentally at first then it starts to effect them physically. Their body is directly effected by their emotions, like Virgo. Stress can show up as restlessness, anxiety, shakiness or in more serious cases; anxiety attacks, becoming withdrawn, and dermatillomania (Gemini rules hands). In order for these natives to relax, they must take their air energy and create something tangible with it. Journaling is a great way to do this, also painting or blogging. Since Gemini rules the hands, a lot of stress can be relieved by keeping them busy. Knitting, crocheting, video games, playing instruments (double points if these activities connect the brain and hands in some way). Gemini and 3h placements would also benefit from breathing exercises, reading nonfiction books (Geminis love to learn), or even just venting about their problems to a trusted friend.
CANCER MOON/CANCER VENUS/4H MOON/4H VENUS: For people with Cancer or 4th house placements, stress can show up primarily through emotions (surprising I know). Cancer feels all the feels, good or bad. Stress can show up and create sadness, anger, anxiety, pessimistic behavior and being on edge. In worse cases; depression, an anxiety disorder, and rumination. In terms of self care, it's important for Cancer/4th house placements to get in touch with their inner child. This can be achieved by spending time with children, looking back at photos with happy memories, blowing bubbles, watching their favorite children's movie or eating their favorite meal growing up. Since the 4th house also rules family, spending time with blood or chosen relatives is important too (even pets!). Since Cancer is a water sign, taking a bath and staying hydrated are great forms of self care for these individuals. To cater to their nurturing side, taking care of someone else (a relative, loved one, a pet, even a plant) can help them forget their own problems which is great but if this is the only thing they do it can create a habit of avoidance to their own problems. One last thing Cancer/4th house placements can do for self care is cook themselves a hardy meal since Cancer rules the stomach and because, well, they deserve it.
LEO MOON/LEO VENUS/5H MOON/5H VENUS: For Leo and 5th house natives, stress can show up and drain these peoples' sunny disposition; like clouds covering the Sun. Stress can lead to them becoming uninspired, unmotivated, lazy and even bitter. In more extreme cases, Leo/5th house placements can slip into depression, ice out loved ones and hobbies, and become unsure of themselves - which leads to a lowering of self esteem and makes them second guess who they are. High blood pressure and heart palpitations isn't uncommon when these people deal with extreme stress over a long period of time. In order to relieve this stress, Leo/5th house placements can benefit from acupuncture or cupping (Leo rules the back and spine), a massage, or even reiki as a form of self care in order to move their stagnant energy around. Exploring somewhere new, going to an art museum, or going out with friends to a party or out to eat can inspire these natives and get them motivated to create again. Other forms of self care for Leo/5th house placements is reciting affirmations in the mirror daily, affirmations they know to be true about themselves. Pampering themselves in some way can boost their self esteem; whether that be getting their hair done, going shopping, or treating themselves to their favorite meal. Practicing self care for these natives is extremely important in order to keep their sun shining.
VIRGO MOON/VIRGO VENUS/6H MOON/6H VENUS: Virgo, virgo, virgo, always worrying your pretty little head off. I can say this btw I'm a Virgo moon and know this all too well. This goes for 6th House placements too, they are the busy bodies of the zodiac. Like Gemini and 3rd house placements, Virgo and 6th house placements feel stress mentally first and then physically. Stress can make them physically ill; stomach aches especially. When these natives are stressed, it shows up physically as digestive issues, stomach aches, disordered eating and even skin picking (dermatillomania). Mentally, these people can become cold and short with others. Virgo and 6th house placements can also become reactive to situations and look at things quite negatively. In my opinion, it's hard for Virgos and 6th house placements to get in the habit of self care since they are very sacrificial and put people before themselves. They also have a million and one things to do and want to get them done or else they can't relax. Self care for these people should be activities where they can unwind while still feeling productive. Exercise in any form is great for these natives because they love health and wellness. Yoga in all forms is PERFECT for Virgo/6th house placements since they're the epitome of mind, body, and soul (what effects their mind, effects their body, and then effects their soul). One last self care activity for these people is reading a book. Learning and relaxing? A Virgo/6th house placement's DREAM.
LIBRA MOON/LIBRA VENUS/7H MOON/7H VENUS: Libra and 7th house placements become stressed when things aren't harmonious. Relationships, work, their health - if it's not balanced, they really feel it. Stress for these people can show up as acne breakouts, becoming unmotivated, neglecting their physical appearance, and passive aggressiveness. In more extreme cases, these individuals can isolate themselves, be on the verge of tears all the time, and become volatile. Self care comes in the form of facials, baths, getting dressed up for a date. Libra/7th house placements want to look and feel good. Buying gifts for themselves or receiving gifts (big or small); especially clothes, makeup, skincare products, hair care, jewelry, candles, etc. Like Taurus/2nd house placements, they like things that satisfying their senses. Other forms of self care for these natives are spending time or talking one-on-one with a friend, family member, or partner whether that's for receiving advice, venting, or simply distracting them from their issues.
SCORPIO MOON/SCORPIO VENUS/8H MOON/8H VENUS: Scorpio/8th house placements feel stressed when they're lacking connection; emotional, physical, mental or spiritual. They might not like to admit it but they need a shoulder to cry on too. These people are also prone to mood swings so sometimes it's hard to pinpoint why they're feeling the way they do. These natives feel emotions strongly, just like the other water signs and house placements. Stress can show up as a low libido, dark eye circles from lack of sleep, and anger that comes on fast. In more extreme cases, they can experience depression, intrusive thoughts, and develop phobias. In order for Scorpio/8th house natives to relax, they need to channel their emotional energy. This can be hard, especially because sometimes they don't even know what's wrong or what exactly is stressing them out. Writing, painting, sculpting, any form of art is extremely beneficial to these people because even if they can't put a finger on why they're feeling a certain way, they can still express it in other ways. Other forms of self care can include taking a shower, swimming, taking a bath - anything that connects them back to their element. Having sex, reinventing themselves through dying their hair or changing up their wardrobe, and even witchcraft can help them incredibly. Diving into taboos and embracing them can do wonders for these people.
SAGITTARIUS MOON/SAGITTARIUS VENUS/9H MOON/9H VENUS: Do Sag placements even get stressed out..? Just kidding of course they do! These natives become stressed when they feel trapped, bored, and stagnant. You can always tell when they feel a certain way because they will tell you, bluntly and unapologetically. Sagittarius/9th house placement's symptoms of stress is restlessness, becoming impulsive, and being straight up mean. These placements need stimulation and will do things, good or bad, to get it. Self care comes in forms of traveling, learning, and winning. Whether down the street or to a different country, these natives benefit from exploring somewhere new. To them self care is indulging in their wants, and they WANT to explore new places and learn new things. Eating their favorite country's cuisine, going to a new place (a store or a park or a vacation), or reading a book are all forms of self care for them. Sagittarius/9th house placements would even benefit from planning a vacation even if they never take it. Other forms of self care for these individuals is playing board games or sports with friends, gambling (in moderation), eating good food, having a few drinks, throwing a party. They need to indulge, just a little bit.
CAPRICORN MOON/CAPRICORN VENUS/10H MOON/10H VENUS: These natives will never let you know that they're stressed out because they can handle it, they can handle anything and everything all the time, right? NO, but they want to be able to which creates more stress - they literally stress about stress. For them, stress can show up as feeling tightness and soreness in their body, lack of sleep, and disordered eating from trying to gain a sense of control. In extreme cases they will throw themselves into work because they can't feel the stress if they're distracted... this leads to endless problems which, guess what... leads to MORE STRESS. Capricorns/10h placements, take a day off. The world will still go on if you rest. Other than that, these natives benefit from stretching, yoga, meditation, a nice hot bath or shower. They need to slow their roll. One self care activity that benefits them the most is laughing; funny movies, seeing a comedy show, playing with their kids or telling funny stories are all things that can remind them that play is just as important as work. Have fun you guys, you deserve it the most.
AQUARIUS MOON/AQUARIUS VENUS/11H MOON/11H VENUS: Similar to Capricorn/10th house placements, you guys have a good poker face when it comes to being stressed out. What's different though is that instead of throwing yourself into work, you fake a smile until you're all alone... that's when the symptoms of stress take over. Anxiety, loneliness, sadness are all things these people experience when stressed out. They have plenty of friends and support systems but no really gets them, at least that's how they feel. In extreme cases, Aquarius/11th house placements can experience depression, depersonalization, and feeling more and more alienated and different than everyone else. Self care for these people includes meditation, journaling, walking barefoot outside, even hugging a damn tree - anything that pulls them back down to Earth. Planning a day with friends or loved ones to do something spontaneous or adventurous can really help these people. They need to get out of the "box" they put themselves in. Other forms of self care include things that are wild, fun, and get the blood pumping; playing paintball, video games, snowball/water balloon fight, pranks, partying and letting loose with your friends, and creating silly YouTube videos. The best self care for them is connecting with like minded people and having stimulating conversations or doing things that are crazy and silly.
PISCES MOON/PISCES VENUS/12H MOON/12H VENUS: When these natives feel stress, like Cancer/4th house placements, it comes in the form of emotions. Sadness, passive aggressiveness, and even shutting down emotionally in order to not feel anything at all. Pisces/12th house placements feel things so strongly and on every level - so for them, it's better to shut the emotions off because that's easier than dealing with it head on. But, those suppressed feelings will always come back to bite them. Stress shows up as lack of faith and trust, the inability to focus and stop daydreaming, and mood swings. Since the 12th house rules the subconscious mind, sometimes they don't realize why they feel stressed or unbalanced, like Scorpio/8th house placements. These individuals benefit from swimming, visiting a body of water, jumping in a puddle, or even going outside to feel the rain in order to reconnect with their element. Anything art; painting, sculpting, knitting, singing, creating is probably the best thing they can do to channel emotions. I always joke and say Pisces/12th house placements love "old lady activities" but I think it's true. Knitting, playing bingo, spending time with children, baking are all things that can really help them. Other than that, self care for these natives can be as simple as taking a nap to tune out the world. Or giving yourself alone time in a judgmental free place to do what you want. I think the theme here is to tune out the world and tune into yourself, however you can achieve that.
*Note: No placement in astrology is exempt from experiencing mental health disorders, just because I didn't mention it for every sign doesn't mean it can't happen to them, it can. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, my ask box is always open.
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babysukiii · 3 months
Text
regina’s puppy (4)
// regina has a soft spot for you, but when she refuses to accept why, someone else might swoop in and take your attention away from her. //
warnings: soft!regina, fluff, pining, LOTS of pining, regina is falling for the reader hard, reader is a gay mess, regina is a lesbian who’s terrible at emotions. (don’t get too used to fluffy chapters this is the calm before the storm…)
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(this part 4 of the series, read part 3 here)
you end up replaying gretchen’s party in your head over the weekend. you can’t seem to stop thinking about the look in regina’s eyes when she saw you and dani talking. it was the angriest you’ve ever seen her, and then afterwards she just pretended as if it never occurred. yet it was engraved into your brain like a branded memory; permanently there for you to think about at night.
you couldn’t figure out why regina was so enthralled by you… if you could call it that. as you started to become more aware of what dani said on friday night, how you were regina’s “puppy”… it caused you to overthink a few things. this entire time you thought regina was getting closer to you all of a sudden because she enjoyed your company. now you feared it was because she just wanted some new pet to play with.
you and regina had developed a routine on the nights you couldn’t convince your parents to allow you to stay the night. she’d call you, and you’d talk for hours; sometimes till you fell asleep. though saturday night you used a flimsy excuse of being at your grandmas house; she new it was a lie. then on sunday, you barely texted her at all. she knew something was up right away, and she wasn’t going to tolerate it.
as soon as you walked out of your house to catch the bus on monday, regina’s jeep was parked on the side of the street. your heart immediately began to flutter as it usually does whenever you see the blonde. she rolls down her window, and you catch a glimpse of how gorgeous she looks. your legs have a mind of their own as you begin to walk up to her car, furrowing your brows. “don’t you usually pick up gretchen on mondays?” you question, and she shrugs, flashing you that colgate smile that makes your knees week. “she can take the bus. get in, loser.” she taunts you.
you can’t help but sheepishly smile as you get into her passenger side. “she’s gonna freak out. she was texting the group chat all weekend about how her parents found puke in her grandmas ashes.” you giggle, and regina lets out this strained laugh that isn’t her usual one. “yeah, i tried calling you but you were busy.” she grumbles, and you tense up slightly. “and you were dodging my texts. what gives?” she asks, as she begins to drive. she doesn’t turn on music like she usually does, only showing you how serious she is.
“i just couldn’t stop thinking about what happened on friday.” you start cautiously, and she frowns, an agitated expression etching itself onto her features. “seriously? that fucking bitch deserved a slap, y/n.” she defends herself, and you flash her a look. “i’m not talking about the slap… i mean, i’m actually surprised you didn’t do worse.” you joke softly, trying to lighten the heavy tension in the air. regina lets out this tiny exhale; if it weren’t so quiet in the car you may not have heard it. that’s when you take in how wrought up she seems, as if she’s been stressing over something.
surely she wasn’t stressing over you avoiding her for two days… right?
“then what is it? why are you being weird?” she questions demandingly, sounding genuinely upset. “because i can’t stop thinking about what dani said!” you huff out, sounding the most frustrated she’s ever heard. upon seeing your exasperated demeanor, she calms down slightly. realizing something was actually wrong. “y/n, everything that loser said was bullshit—“ she starts, but you cut her off, “she was right though! i am such a different person now and it’s only been a month.” you counterpoint, causing her to bite her tongue.
regina hates to be interrupted, but she really enjoys you and whatever it is that’s budding between the two of you. she doesn’t want to lose it because some stupid jock said something at a lame party she only went to in order to save face. “and you don’t like who you are? you don’t enjoy the way we’ve been hanging out all the time?” regina questions, you shake your head. “i love spending time with you… but dani called me your puppy, gina. is that seriously what people think of me now? is that what you think of me?” you ask persistently.
the blonde shakes her head rapidly in disagreement. “i don’t think of you as my puppy… just because you have the qualities of one, doesn’t mean i consider you one.” she tells you, and you frown. “how do i have the qualities of a puppy?” you can’t help but ask, and she shrugs. “loyal, obedient, always happy to see me.” she flashes you that infamous smile, and you roll your eyes in response. “y/n, dani is just jealous because you’re hanging out with me and not her. she only said that to get under your skin, and clearly it worked.” she states, and your silence causes her to reach for your hand.
her touch sends shockwaves throughout your body. “don’t be angry at me over some comment a dumb jock made because you wouldn’t go into a basement with her.” she practically pleads, and you know it’s the closest thing you’ll get to any sort of comfort from regina george. “besides, don’t you like hanging out with me?” she questions, and you throw her a look that says “are you serious”. “of course i like hanging out with you, you’re like my favorite person.” you admit, and regina feels something tugging on the heartstrings she didn’t even realize she had.
“then stop listening to what anyone else says.” this sounds more like a command, so you find yourself nodding dumbly. your brain always goes fuzzy whenever she tells you to do something, and the only coherent thought is to do whatever regina says. god, maybe dani was right, you are regina’s puppy.
you walk into school with the blonde by your side. you’ve adjusted to the gawking students that ogle regina as she walks by. you really don’t blame them; ever since freshman year you’ve been one of those people who gaze at her in admiration. until now. regina’s strange interest in you hasn’t gone unnoticed by anyone else, and you’re now beginning to adjust to all the attention.
“please never make me take the bus again!” gretchen exclaims as she storms up to the both of you, and regina rolls her eyes. “i had to pick up y/n today. you’ll survive.” the blonde sounds unamused, causing gretchen to huff in response. “i already said i’m sorry, even though it’s totally not my fault i have a totally hot basement that makes people horny.” she says, and regina narrows her eyes at her friend. “we discussed this already. i’m going to be taking y/n to school from now on.” her tone is up for no disagreements, and you shake your head in protest. “it’s okay, gina. i don’t mind taking the bus—“ you start, but she cuts you off.
“i like picking you up. hush.” she shushes you quickly, and you try to ignore the way the back of your neck heats up. gretchen pouts, but doesn’t argue any further. as the three of you approach regina’s locker, karen bounces up to you guys. “did you guys here about the new girl who’s transferring here tomorrow?” she asks curiously, and regina quirks a brow in clear interest. “a new girl? why wasn’t i informed about this?” she questions, and karen shrugs. “i heard it from arnold who says he heard it from elizabeth g.” she explains, and the blonde presses her lips together tightly.
“a new student nobody bothered to tell me about… huh.” she says as she thinks about it for a moment. “she better be more interesting than the last new student we had. jeanette renolds is such a bore.” the blonde adds simply, and that’s that. the topic of the “new student” doesn’t come up again. at least not in front of you.
during lunch gretchen begins to talk about how close homecoming is, regardless of it being 3 months away. “you’re running for homecoming queen again, right regina?” gretchen asks, and regina glowers. “of course i am. why wouldn’t i?” she responds with a question, before looking at you. “are you going to vote for me to be homecoming queen?” she asks, her voice flirty and sweet. your cheeks flush under her gaze, “of course, i voted for you last year too, gina.” you confess, and this elicits a large smile from your favorite blonde.
“everyone voted for regina last year, and this year it’s not gonna change. i don’t even think you need a campaign manager this time either.” gretchen says, and regina rolls her eyes. “i am my own campaign manager, idiot. but i have y/n to help me with more stuff this year, like what color scheme i should go with.” she says suggestively, as her gaze flickers over to you. your eyes widen in slight panic, “what?? i can’t pick your color scheme! i’m terrible at picking out stuff. i mean, you chose my entire wardrobe.” you remind her, and she shrugs.
“don’t care. your opinion is the only one that matters to me, so we’ll start looking at dresses next week. for you too.” her tone is left for no debates, and you don’t really pay attention to anything past “your opinion is the only one that matters to me”. the heat rises to your neck and face, and regina’s grin deepens. “are we still hanging out after school, or are you bailing on me today again?” regina pointedly asks you, and you nod eagerly. “we can try that new pretzel place—“ regina cuts you off, “you’re so cute, i can’t do too many carbs but i’ll get you pretzels on the way to where i’m taking you.” she declares, and your eyebrows perk up.
before you can question the blonde the bell rings, “i’m not doing anything after school—“ gretchen tries to say but regina cuts her off. “i didn’t ask, and you weren’t invited.” she hisses, and gretchen huffs. nobody dares question why regina is so adamant on spending time with you; especially alone time. honestly, you’re a bit scared to ask her as well. not because you think she’ll be mean to you, regina is never mean to you, no, you’re just afraid you may mess up whatever this is.
you’re ashamed to admit regina has become the center of your universe. she takes up all the spaces in your brain, and you can’t even go an hour without thinking about her. you and regina end up hanging out after school as promised. you end up sitting in the passenger seat of her car, a medium sized lemonade in your hand along with your mini pretzel bites. regina steals glances at you every now and then; you contentedly hum along to the song that’s playing as you curiously gaze out the window.
the only thought that keeps circling her mind is how much she likes this. just being around you.
“are we going on a hike?” you ask your hundredth question, and regina groans. “no, i hate walking.” she reminds you, and you have this adorable expression on your face as you think about other possibilities. the further from town you get, the further your mind wanders. “the beach?” you ask, and she shakes her head. “nope; i hate getting sand in my shoes and car.” she deadpans, and you go quiet for another few seconds. “we’ve been driving for almost forty minutes… what time are we coming back?” you inquire, and regina rolls her eyes, feigning annoyance.
“you already wanna leave me?” she responds with a question of her own, and you shake your head rapidly. “no! i love hanging out with you, i just gotta text my mom and let her know before we end up somewhere with no service.” you explain yourself, and regina pretends as if she’s thinking about it for a moment. “just tell your mom you’re gonna spend the night at mine.” she orders, and you flash her a look, “gina, i can’t spend the night on a monday.” you remind her, causing her to huff.
“fine, tell her i’ll have you home by ten-thirty.” she mutters begrudgingly, and you smile in satisfaction. you send the text to your mom right as regina turns onto another highway to leave town. “okay, now i’m really curious! please tell me where we’re going.” you sound more excited than before, and the eagerness in your voice tugs on the blonde’s heartstrings. “it’s just a little place i like to go when things are too much. todays like the first pretty day we’ve had in awhile, and i wanted to take you.” she reveals, causing something inside of you to melt.
“y-you wanna take me to your spot?” you sound genuinely stunned, and regina snorts. “duh, who else would i wanna bring there? gretchen talks too much, karen doesn’t know what’s going on half the time, and everyone else only hangs out with me because i’m “regina george”… it’s only natural for me to take my special girl to my special place.” she retorts easily, causing the blood to rise to your face. regina smirks as she notes how flushed your cheeks are; she doesn’t think she’ll ever get tired of the affect she has on you.
“we’re almost there; finish your pretzels.” she commands, and you don’t have to be told twice.
the sun is nearly setting by the time you both pull into a secluded area off a random road in the middle of nowhere. you can’t help but wonder how regina knows about this place; how long she was driving to find it one day. as she drives further into a green grassy area full of trees, with beams of sunlight peaking through the gaps in the tree lines. your eyes widen as she drives further, only going deeper into the beautiful woods.
you roll down your windows excitedly, “oh my gosh this place is so pretty!” you squeal tempestuously. regina tries not look at you in fear she may swerve and ram into a tree, but your sudden uncontrolled behavior causes her to smile widely. if anyone she knew were to see it, they would hell froze over. she’s glad you aren’t paying any attention to her, because you would’ve seen the unusually soft expression on her face. you turn to look at her, catching her grinning from ear to ear, “we haven’t even gotten to the really cool part.” she tells you, and your eyes enlarge as they gaze into her.
“cooler than a literal forest out of a picture book!?” you ask and she chuckles, “you’re way too easy to impress. i’m starting to think i could park behind the 7/11 with you for an hour and you’d have fun.” she murmurs, and you shrug as you look back out the window. “as long as it’s with you.” you say this so easily, and it causes her smile to fall. her expression morphs into a baffled one, and she can’t stop herself from wondering why... why do you enjoy being around her so much?
regina makes a slight turn, and you let out this breathless gasp as your eyes land on a creek with a waterfall. it isn’t big, but it’s beautiful. “oh my god… gina! this is so beautiful!” you shriek erratically and you unbuckle your seatbelt as you the car comes to a full stop. you run out, and her eyes widen, “hey! i said i hate walking!” she hisses, trying to sound angry but she can’t even recognize herself.
if the girls heard me right now, they’d never respect me again.
“come on, gina!!” you order her, and regina— the girl who never takes orders from anyone— sighs as she turns the car off and gets out. “look at how clear the water is!” your enthusiasm causes regina to approach you, and act as if she hasn’t already seen this place a hundred times before you. it looks different when you’re here… regina can’t seem to place why. she isn’t sure if she’ll ever enjoy coming here without you again, and she doesn’t care. all she can do is stare at how the light of the sunset reflects off your big, wondrous eyes.
“if i would’ve known you liked this place so much, i would’ve brought you here awhile ago. i just never thought of bringing anyone till now.” she admits softly, and your smile deepens, which is something she didn’t even think was possible. “you haven’t bright anyone else here?” you ask timidly, and she nods earnestly. “just you.”
her confession causes you to wrap your arms around her, hugging her abruptly. her eyes widen a bit; she’s never been the hugging type… yet as your delicate grasp tightens around her lovingly, in a way she’s never felt, she can’t help the way her stomach flutters pathetically. she hugs you back, and can feel you practically melt into her. you’re so happy, and it hits her that you’re happy because of her. she’s made people cry, yell, curse, and run in the opposite direction… but she’s never made anyone feel happy.
the fleeting thought alone terrifies her like nothing else ever has. regina george is falling in love with you, and she isn’t sure how to stop it.
a/n: please don’t hate me but tumblr wasn’t letting me tag some of your accounts 😭💔
taglist: @xvyzxx @spideyznss @whateveryouwantsee11 @alwaysgoodnight @chaoticcoffeequeen @mcu-junkie @lottienatswife @vanessashands @natashas-whore @southelroys @dandelions4us @ylenabelxva @probs-reading-fanfics @dont-emily-me @luz-enjoyer @flocon-neigeux @jjiwoo06 @aminetil @pyro-les @tyler-06 @justlovemaths @teenybean @emskies @tulipatheticee @marvelwomenarehot0 @syddie-reads @slaysksmska @cas-is-weird-ig @scarlettbitchx @pianogirl2121 @puppy-danvers2016 @messsor @dmenby3100 @that-one-little-soybean
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 7 months
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YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GLAD I AM THAT YOUR WRITE FOR SPTO THANK YOUUUU
UGH okay, my craziness aside; could you try “I think I’m in love with you” with Matthew Patel? It doesn’t matter who says it, I jsut think it’d be adorable (I adore that funky theatre punk so so much <3)
Thank you so much and have a wonderful day/night!!
"Do it!"
"Come on, Lord Matthew!"
"We're getting impatient.."
"Maybe we'll go in and tell them ourselves-"
"Ladies, that's enough! I will tell them myself...i-in a minute. First, I need to rehearse what I'm going to say..I can't mess this up."
The demon hipster chicks could only stare at their master with blank expressions, knowing damn well that he was stalling the inevitable:
That being his confession to you.
You two go back as far as middle school, with you being the first friend he ever made who didn't mind his weirdness or mystical powers. Plus, you shared his admiration for the theater and dramatics when he started obsessing over those, becoming his number one supporter.
Until now, Matthew never thought he'd fall for you like he did Ramona. But he feared rejection, ridicule, or worse--the relationship being extremely short-lived and him never getting to experience a "true love's kiss".
Once was painful enough.
He couldn't go through that again.
Of course, his demon hipster chicks knew all about this and the months he's spent pining after you. As much as they didn't like you "stealing" away his attention...they realized you made their master genuinely happy.
And above everything else, they wanted him to be happy.
So they were thrilled when he summoned them, seeing that they were at the doorstep to your apartment and squealing upon noticing the giftbox he had for you.
Finally, he seemed ready to move on from Ramona.
Yet....he had spent ten solid minutes pacing along the floor and trying to hype himself up, his confidence totally shot, before he eventually stopped in front of your door again.
"Okay, I got it! Erm..."Roses are red, violets are--" no, that's stupid. It's too cliche! Everybody uses that!" Shaking his head, he tried to think of something else. ""Hey, would you like to be the Romeo to my Juliet--" ohh, what am I saying?! That's not romantic!! That would mean our relationship could end in tragedy...UGH!!"
"Don't overthink it, my lord." One of the demons whispered to him. "Just tell them how you feel."
"....it can't be that simple, can it?"
"....."
"..alright. I'll take your advice. I'm going for it." With a nervous swallow, he bowed his head and raised a hand to knock at the door-
Only for it to swing open, causing him to freeze in-place and look up to see you on the other side. He quickly hid both hands behind his back, hoping you didn't see the gift. "H-Hi.."
"Oh hey, Matty. Hey, girls." You smiled, looking past him and waving to the demons. But as your gaze shifted back to his, you wondered why he seemed extremely nervous. "Are you feeling okay?"
"..yeah. Just..wanted to see how you were doing." Pink was starting to dust his cheeks. "Did you uh...know I was going to come visit?"
"Um...yeah? You texted me earlier."
"......"
"And I saw you outside my window and figured you forgot the spare key."
"Shit..did I?" Matthew checked his coat pockets, feeling more embarrassed to know he forgot such a simple thing. All because he couldn't stop thinking about you. "I guess I did forget.......how about I go get it?"
You blinked in confusion. "Huh? But you're-"
"I'll be back, I swear-?!!"
The second he tried to run away, two of the demons grabbed a hold of his arms, dragging him into your apartment, while the other two guarded the door it in case he attempted another escape. He yelled in outrage, putting up a bit of struggle before they let go.
At this point, he was seething red, prepared to yell at them for their betrayal and the humiliation it brought upon him...
But they just winked and disappeared, the last one wishing him luck.
Of course.
"I can't believe it! The nerve of those-"
"What was that all about? You're acting kinda..odd, Matthew." Raising an eyebrow, you sat down on your sofa, having no clue why the man in front of you looked so flustered.
"I....have something I need to say." He decided to sit beside you, sighing heavily. "[Y/n], I think....I..I..."
"Yes?"
"...I-I think I'm in love with you!" Finally blurting it out, he closed his eyes and handed you the box, too afraid to see your expression. "I know it's sudden but..you've always been there for me. Ever since I found my passion for theater. Ever since Ramona dumped me...you were by my side. A-And I feel like I took that for granted. I thought I only wanted revenge against those who wronged me....but no. I want something better. I want love...and I want to be yours. So please...let me prove that I can be a good boyfriend and not evil!"
Part of him wanted to curl up and die as he continued babbling on and on about his feelings, thinking about the hundreds of other ways he could have done this.
He could flawlessly play the role of a love interest in a musical or play and move the audience to tears so effortlessly. But off-stage, he felt like a bumbling lovesick idiot who isn't making any sense to his crush..
There's no way you could love him back.
Not after seeing him like this.
Yet after feeling the box being removed from his hands, Matthew bravely opened his eyes, watching as you took out the black and red roses he put inside it. The thorns have been clipped off, allowing you to twirl the stems in your fingers for a moment or two.
Then you looked at him with the brightest of smiles, laughing softly. "Of course you'd give me roses, you dork. That's so....you." You set them aside before moving closer, taking his hands into yours. "I'm trusting you to uphold that promise."
His heart was soaring.
He must definitely be dreaming right now.
"S-So...it's a yes?"
You chuckled, nodding. "Yes. And...I promise to be with you for longer than a week."
That got him choked up. He couldn't say anything else in that moment, as his only response was pulling you into a tight hug and hiding his face in your neck.
Thank god he didn't ruin this.
You just smiled and held him close, relieved that he finally decided to try loving again. When he calmed down enough to look back up into your eyes, that's when you both decided to go for the kiss--just in case he had any more doubts in his mind.
And there were sparks galore.
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envies-writing-corner · 6 months
Text
"What if I left?"
Synopsis: With a previously "gifted kid" partner who's burnt out and questions if NRC would be better off without them.
Genre: Angst
Contains: Jamil Viper, Leona Kingscholar, Malleus Draconia, Rook Hunt
CW: panic attacks, thoughts of not being good enough, overthinking, talk of sewerslide, etc. Not Proofread
Word Count: 1.3k
Yes we are ignoring the fact that this was accidentally deleted from my drafts and was a request.
Part 1, Part 2
-------------------------------
You sighed shakily as you stepped out of the classroom and into the crowded hallways, clutching your folders to your chest as you tried to force down the lump in your throat. How did it come to this? You were the 'gifted kid' in your world, had excelled in these new classes during your first few months and even helped tutor Ace when he was failing. Now, you had forgotten your assignment for Professor Crewel, been late to nearly every class today, and had gotten failing marks on two tests. What happened...?
It didn't matter at this point, all you knew was the tears were coming and fast, you couldn't cry, not here, not in front of everyone. You just had to breathe, right...? When did It become so difficult to breathe? Your mind was running miles a minute as you pushed through the crowd, not caring who you accidentally ran into, mumbling quiet apologies as you tried to run, not expecting your partner to find you.
Jamil Viper
"Prefect!" The vice-housewarden called after you, stunned in place after having your body slam against his in the hallway, watching your quickly retreating form for a second before running after you. Despite how fast you were, he saw the tears beginning to slip down your cheeks, he heard the hitching in your breaths. Every thought besides you left his mind, it no longer mattered that he would be late to class, or that he wouldn't have everything ready for Kalim's party this weekend. You were more important.
Jamil followed you all the way back to Ramshackle, gently opening the door to come face to face with your curled up form on the barely standing couch, head in your knees as sobs wracked through your body. His gaze softened as he closed the door behind him and kneeled in front of you, heart clenching at the sight of his lover in shambles.
A kind hand on your knee pulled you from your crying fit and surprised the boy as you pushed yourself off the couch , sending yourself flying into his arms as you hid your face in his neck, breath hitching and getting stuck in your throat as your body wracked with desperate cries.
"Oh Jamil...! I can't stand it anymore, I'm so tired of it all... I'm done with being Crowley's punching bag, I'm done with being not good enough for this school...!" you cried out, completely breaking down as the vice-housewarden gently shushed you, rubbing your back gently, pressing soft kisses to the top of your head and temple, wanting to help soothe you before things got worse in your mind,
"Please love... Calm down, it'll be ok... You're more than enough for this school, and you're enough for me. I promise you'll be ok." He whispered, tightening his arms around your waist as he gently cradled your head against his neck.
Leona Kingscholar
The lion jolted awake as the doors to the botanical gardens slammed open, quickly followed by the sound of your hysteric crying and sharp breaths. He watched from afar as you kneeled in front of the small pond, tears dripping into the still water making it ripple your reflection. Hands coming up to cover your face as you curled in on yourself, coughing out sobs as your chest began to burn from the lack of air.
Leona frowned as he carefully got up and squatted next to you, placing a hand on your head, not expecting your to turn and collapse against his form, your sobs no longer being held back as you clutched his shirt for some kind of way to ground yourself. The prince took a moment to fully grasp the situation before sighing and holding you close.
"Herbivore, you better have a good reason for interrupting my nap." He tried to joke, the tone of his voice making it clear there was no real annoyance behind his words, but it was the exact opposite of what you needed to hear right now. Instead of making you feel better, he had made you cry harder, unknowingly affirming the dark thoughts swirling in your mind.
"I can't do it anymore... I want to disappear, Leona! I'm not enough anymore, no one would care anyways... I'm just an errand dog to Crowely, and all I've done is make your life harder..." You whimpered out, more tears slipping down your cheeks as they dissolved into Leona's shirt. Your lover frowned as he laid back, pulling you on top of his chest and whispered to you.
"More people love you than you think, and I can say with full confidence that you're the most important person in my life, so don't go dying on me. Ok?"
Malleus Draconia
It wasn't even the dragon fae who found you sitting in the mirror hall during the middle of class, bawling your eyes out into your knees as scattered papers surrounded your curled up form. It was Lilia who initially sat with you until you felt better enough to return to classes, letting you release all the stress and sadness that was building up, letting you vent until no words would leave your lips. Once situated back in your next class, the vice-housewarden went straight to Malleus, telling the prince how things seemed to be getting worse and worse the longer you stayed here. The campus had never emptied out quicker than it did when the students saw the looming green-tinted storm clouds.
Malleus was already waiting at Ramshackle for you by the time you'd been able to leave the college, a sympathetic look on his stoic features as he stood there, arms already open to welcome you into a hug. It didn't take long for the waterworks to start up again as you buried your face against the male's chest, sniffling as he held you close, combing his fingers through your hair to help calm you.
"Child of man, Lilia informed me of your situation, how you wish to leave from this world permanently. I know it's not much, but I'll always be here to aid you when things grow sour." He'd speak softly, helping you inside the dorm building you called home, closing the door gently behind you both. The events afterwards of cuddling and long speeches of his love for you was only for you two to share.
Rook Hunt
The hunter had taken notice of your feelings long before they bubbled over, already informing Vil of his absence from the dorm for tonight. Rook sighed as he walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder, one hand holding a bouquet of flowers to your chest, wanting to make you smile instead of the tears that are spilling from your precious face.
"Mon Amour, you don't need to speak, I know... Your disappearance would break my heart, leaving me a shell of the man you love." He'd whisper against your temple, leading you away from crowded areas, letting you take the blossoms before cupping your face and resting your foreheads together, wiping away any tears that threatened to spill. He'd do everything in his power to cheer you up, using the most flowery words that you know he fully believes, leaving little love notes around the ramshackle dorm for you to find along with little trinkets that would remind him of you.
Rook would sit with you as you slowly calm down, pressing kisses to your eyelids to cease the bubbled liquid that fell from them, brushing your hair behind your ear before lifting you, all of his attention focused on chasing away any nasty and terrible thoughts that might still remain. "Mon chéri(e), never doubt yourself, if only you could see the way I view you. Maybe then, this way of thinking would vanish and you could smile once more..."
-------------------------------
Authors Note: I lost so much motivation while writing this, BECAUSE IT DELETED RIGHT AS I FINISHED :,) so I apologize for how bad the writing got during Rook's part. Whoever requested this, thank you requesting and I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK THIS LONG T-T
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vampiretendencies · 1 year
Note
JJ thinking about your future together - especially when he is drunk
he can handle his liquor to a certain extent, though when you’re near he loses half his brain.
so normal obsessive boyfriend jj times a thousand, because he sees double of you and that’s an epiphany all in one.
jj didn’t hone in on the future as of late, now it’s all ‘i want us to have two dogs when we get our own place’ and ‘when our kids this’ and ‘when our kids that’. truth be told, jj has a penciled in notebook in the drawer of his nightstand, labeled ‘if i’m lucky enough to keep her around’ and any minuscule detail you say pertaining to the future— he repeats it to himself until he’s alone and can get to that damn notebook.
from the paint that you mentioned you want on your ideal forever home, to the decorations he notices that you gravitate more towards.
he’s sat under a large unoccupied tree, the two of you escaping the boneyard party. especially upon the realization that he’s had one two many. but he’s got his girl cozied daintly between the comfort of his legs, arms meeting at the centre of your torso— so what more could he ask for ?
your head was on his broad chest, his chin fitting like a puzzle piece to your forehead. thumbs rubbing in circular motions at the skin of your torso for not only you but himself. it’s been silence for the past twenty minutes, yet neither of you seem to mind— it was the presence that mattered.
“when we get our own place…” he started, lips fumbling a bit as he licked them. you grinned knowing what was to come would be evident of his love for you. jj was referring to the home the two of you get after apartments, after rentals, the home the two of you will spend the rest of your life in making endless babies. “we will be married ideally right baby?”
“mhm.”
“s-so i was thinkin’— y’know how when we would do dishes or whatever we have to take our rings off yeah?”
“yes…” unsure of where he was going with it
“m’gonna put a little hook on one of the cabinets, so we can hang them there until we’re done. they’ll be together, and we won’t lose them … just like how i don’t lose my way when m’with you.”
you failed to comprehend how he aimlessly comes up with ways to make you become besotted with him. your heart seizes, fluttering tenfold. living inside his words, you forget to answer and when you don’t he overthinks it being the worse idea humanly possible.
“or maybe not, m’just spitballin’. if you don’t want that we’ll figure something else out, pretty girl.”
eyes averting to yours, you drown him in a kiss that says all that went unsaid.
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starillusion13 · 11 months
Text
Winning Dessert
Tumblr media
Pairing: boxer! San x f! reader x manager! Wooyoung
Genre: Strangers to lovers, Mature, SMUT
W.C: 6.3k +
Warnings: sexual themes,explicit SMUT, nipple play, oral (f receiving) , m x f x m, threesome, double penetration,unprotected sex(please don’t do irl),aftercare (please idk if anything more needed to add or not.)
Request from: @kitten4sannie
Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity
Thanks for helping me out to come up with an idea with woosan fic @mymoodwriting
Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @yeoobin @anyamaris (I thought you may like it) @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames
Note: Thanks for joining the event and loving my works. I love interaction so please do tell me how you all like my works.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT UNDER THIS POST 18+
*under the cut*
🏆
Boxing Clubs? Are you really interested in them? No, not really. Your opinions don’t matter to your friend who is really jumping around like a fool in your bedroom for finally getting the tickets for herself and you to watch the tomorrow’s event of the Django Boxing Club. You have heard about the boxers in your town but never got the interest to dive deeper into the information about them. Your friend has mentioned her favourite’s name a lot in your conversations but you only pretended listening her.
“When are we going there?” You asked her in a bored tone contrast to her over-excited self. She stopped jumping and sits beside you, resting her palms on your shoulder and turning you to face her with excitement overflowing her eyes.
“Finally, I am going to their special show and even with you. I would probably faint there when seeing them that close but you will catch me okay! We will hang out to nearby café before and then we will go the event’s place. It will start at 9 o’clock.”
“No way! We will be out there late at night.” You didn’t expect to be a night event, you never been to any place at late night so you are a bit conscious right now.
“It’s okay Y/N. Many audiences will be there and it would be pretty much crowded to become somebody’s target for bad intentions.”
“I don’t know how to not worry but please we have to come back as soon as possible after the show ends.”
“Deal. Anyways I’m heading out for my home because I need to get a proper sleep today’s night even though I know I can’t sleep knowing I will be meeting Sa-“
Suddenly a ring interrupts her statement. The call was from her boyfriend asking her when will she get back home. She hurriedly makes her way out of your apartment waving you a quick farewell for the end of the day and you smiled in return to see her so excited for every little thing in her life. Maybe, you should also date someone then it would make yourself a little bit more interested in life.
Preparing yourself to the bed, you are still lost in thoughts about tomorrow’s event as to what can happen there. Not that you are expecting something worse but as you never been to such places and also late at night, you are a bit confused and overthinking.
————
Next day, early in the morning, your sleep got disturbed by a call from your friend to remind you about the events for the later in the day. You spent your Saturday morning as usual with treating yourself a nice healthy breakfast and cleaning stuffs all around your apartment.
Afternoon comes with the arrival of the exciting-self of your friend. Looking at her, you realized how she always dolls her up for every little occasion and being excited for her favorite stuffs. Where on the other end, you are always so bored with your usual plain life and dress up in casuals with no make up and all. Shaking your head to let this thought out of your mind, you picked up an outfit of a baggy pants and an oversized t-shirt.
“Are you wearing that?” your friend made a disgusted expression on your choice.
“Yes. Why? Is there something wrong with this?”
“Of course. Everything.” She moved you aside and starts to rummage through your closet and chose a light pink shirt with a white sketchy skirt. The skirt has a descent height to cover your thighs properly but to you the outfit is a bit too scandalous for the event.
“I’m not wearing that to a place where there will be lot of boys and men.”
“Its not like I’m asking you to wear revealing clothes to attract boys but atleast wear something girly please and perhaps this will look good on you maybe you will get a boyfriend for yourself there.”
Trying out the outfit, it reveals not that bad to wear to such events and eventually you agreed on it with her. You leave your wavy mid-length hair open and put some lip tint to go with the casual look.
Feeling of refreshment hits your body while walking along the side of the streets with your bestfriend. Maybe you should go out often to such exciting events or you will die of boredom in your room someday.
————
You spent your evening quite nicely with your friend in the café and later hanging out in the nearby mall. It was a thirty minutes way to the club from the mall so you left at 8:00 pm. Due to traffic, you both reached the place at 8:45 and on arriving, you could see how these events actually look like. The place is not bright enough to read the posters in the alley to know the information written on them. The club is situated at the end of the alley and while making your way towards it, you can feel people spread in the alley are eyeing you both up and down which making you a bit uncomfortable but your friend reassures you repeatedly not to mind them because they always look at others in that way. Reaching near the club, you could feel a lot more girls are there which made your anxious self a bit calm. The girls were either in groups of two or many but all were immersed in some exciting topics and with posters in their hands.
“Take this. This is a cheering board. I have only two hands so I can’t hold this and I will be holding these two photo sticks.” She shows her two sticks with one having a picture of an attractive male and other one with a name written on it, ‘Choi San’.
“Is this your favorite boxer?” Taking the cheering board from her hand on which is written,
‘I am cheering for you so do your best Choi San.’
You chuckled on her hardworks on making all these for the event. To your question, she nods her head aggressively with a big smile on her face. You both look towards the entrance finding out that the people have start entering the club because it’s already the time for the start of the event. Not realizing what to do, your friend dragged you hastily inside to get a better place for the best view to the show. Fortunate enough, you both got the front row from where you can see the ring of the wrestling show from an eight feet distance and the bright lights above it is making the surrounding view of the ring clear as well.
“Y/N! I swear if you don’t fall in love with the wrestling shows today. Just have a look on San’s match.”
Nodding your head reluctantly, your gaze focused on the various displayed posters around the ring of San. In every picture, his intimidating sharp eyes with a slick jaw is making you attracted towards him. His black hair complimenting his look even more and now you are hoping to see this individual in person soon. You look to your side to find your friend busy texting her boyfriend and so you start to look around to get in the surroundings more.
The place is only brightly lit in the center where the stage ring is situated so that every audience can have the clear view of the show. To the end of the ring on your right, a table where two judges were sitting and discussing something between them. Behind them, a man was standing who caught you staring there and then he smirked at you while checking you out all over. You shifted in your place and he shook his head and turned back to enter a door. Creep!
To your back, some were either sitting or standing but everyone has an excitement in them with energetic self for the show. You were looking at each person to recognize whether you know anyone or not when suddenly an announcement brought back your attention towards the center.
“Hello, everyone. Welcome to Django Club’s Night Show. This is the most anticipated show for you all and us as we know our boxer Choi San of our district will be competing against the State’s most renowned boxer Johnny. Let’s begin the show and cheer for them.” Everyone cheered on the end of the announcement and not to think otherwise but suddenly you were also excited for the show.
The cheering went wild when San entered the ring, one hand holds the middle ring rope tightly to make a swift entry from beneath it. His other hand is adjusting his white sando on his sweaty body. His muscles are well reflected for the sweats under the bright lights, looking like a fresh exotic meal served in a 5-star restaurant. Oh gosh! What the hell are you imagining now.
The stage is made of wood plank so his sudden steps made a thud sound and your friend is grinning for the excitement to see him so near. There are four steal beams in the corners of the ring stage covered with foam padding and a canvas mat is covering the wooden plank with a fabric skirt on the elevated sides to cover and prevent the spectators from seeing underneath. He made his way towards the bean on your left to lean his back on it when his opponent entered the ring from the other side in a similar way and the cheering from his end was also quite loud. The man whom you saw before behind the judges appeared again but he is having some deep conversation with San. He is whispering into San’s ears and you were squinting your eyes to know what is going on.
Oh girl! The moment that mysterious man turned around and all he found out is you being interested in his private life. He smiled at you and you got startled on this sudden interaction. He tapped on San’s shoulder and again whispered something but now they both looked at your direction and both of them having dirty smirks on their face, while San is smirking with a dark expression and the other one with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Your wide eyes quickly look over your friend, who turned towards you the same moment.
“Have you seen them looking in our way?”
“Yeah, I have but who is that man standing behind him?”
“That’s his manager, Jung Wooyoung like I have heard they are best friends more like brothers but whatever decision one has to make, they always consult with each other before hand. The manager is quite popular among girls because of his flirty nature but as far as I have heard that they both are single so you can have a chance.”
“Shut up! What the hell are you even talking about? Me and them? Never is this happening in this lifetime.” You hit her arm and both focused on the match which has started with San punching Johnny directly to the jaw and making the man stumbled to the floor. Everyone cheered on the act and your friend literally stood up and started jumping. She made you hold up the board a bit higher and then she is waving her sticks to cheer. The match was going quite well for San’s end because he was on the winning edge and now it’s the time for the last round. San is leaning to the beam same as before and Wooyoung came up to him with a bottle to give him some drink. They were talking between themselves when suddenly they abruptly turned their heads towards you. You thought at first that they were looking at someone else but you could see his lips were moving as if he is reading out something.
“Y/N he is reading the cheering board you are holding and see everyone is staring at us.”
Okay! So, all this time, you thought they were having those little interactions with you but it was only them looking at the audience cheering boards and posters. Maybe you are really overthinking. But why are you feeling a bit disappointed on knowing this!
The last round started with a loud whistle followed by the cheering sounds from the dimly lit place from every corner of the club. At this point, the atmosphere is little bit a mixture of smoke and alcohols and even you can hear people betting money on the contestants in a small corner of the club. Suddenly, San made an eye contact with you and you were doing your best to not think it that way and can see his opponent approaching him when he suddenly got a hit on his face and falls to the ground. He closed his eyes on the impact and resting his body on the knees and on two palms to take deep breathes. Panic starts rising your mind as if you are feeling guilty of the cause. You were looking all around to see whether any eyes are accusing you or not but all you could find is eyes focused on the stage and a wave of disappointment washed over the audience.
“What the hell! Where was he looking at?” You look over your shocked face.
“Maybe something distracted him.”
“But what?”
Me? Oh no! it can’t be even possible. This is your first time coming to this sort of shows and probably they have seen lot more beautiful girls in their life. Your eyes travelled back to the stage where san is now wiping the drop of blood from the corner of his mouth and also you can see a cut on his forehead which might be causing pain to him. You failed to notice all this time after the hit, Wooyoung’s gaze was all focused on you and following your every action. San glance at your direction and punched his opponent in such a way that the man couldn’t hit back and didn’t have anymore energy left. San’s white sando is fully drenched with sweat and his squinted sharp eyes are focused on the man before him when he pressed his elbows one on the neck and the other on the lower back to restrain him from getting up and with the time up, San is declared to be the champion of the show.
The digital board above the ring displays
‘ Choi San The Winner 🏆’
You smiled on the result and as expected your friend is shouting his name on top of her lungs. You calmed her down and looked to your phone to see it’s almost 11 at night and urged your friend to head home. San is staring at you while receiving the prize and you hesitated to look that way. You friend is still not willing to go back home but people emptying the place indicates you should head back soon before any worst thing happens.
————
When you both were about to walk out of the exist, a voice made you stop.
“Hey you girls!” a high-pitched voice calling out in your direction so on turning your head, you found out the manager is on the stairs beside the front row and looking in your way. Your friend smiled towards the man and he winked at her. He comes near to your presence.
“Hello girls! Myself Wooyoung, you can call me Woo in short. I have something to ask and that’s why I made out some time to speak with you.” All this time he is speaking, his gaze was focused on you.
Your friend happily introduced herself and you as well in which he extends his hand for a shake and before you can give in your hand, your friend shakes his hand aggressively. You and him chuckled on her excitement but he suddenly spoke up.
“Well! Can you stay a bit longer? I have something to ask.” You and your friend looked at each other in confusion as to what this man has to talk about.
“Us?”
“No. Only you.” He is directly staring in your eyes.
“We can’t stay here further because its too late for us to stay outside and even in this place.”
“Hey Wooyoung!” A familiar voice calls out from behind you all and you all turned towards it to find out your friend’s boyfriend Yeosang is standing at the doorway. Your friend run towards him and hugged him tightly and then they both quickly exchanged greeting kisses. They walked to where you and Wooyoung is standing.
“Yeosang? Do you know them and is she your girlfriend?”
“Ah yes! I never introduced her to you because I knew how crazy fan she is of San. She would probably leave me for him.”  They both laughed and your friend hit him and yeosang turns towards you to give you a smile. “And she is her bestfriend. Her name is Y/N.”
“Oh cool! I was going to ask her to come help me with something and now when we all know each other then it would be much easy.”
“Help?” You watched how Yeosang and Wooyoung exchanged glances as if they were silently communicating between them. Wooyoung’s expression become dark and Yeosang laughed lightly, “Well we are leaving as am taking her to my house for tonight and I suppose you can help him. Trust me you are safe with him because he is my bestfriend and also knows how to fight well.”
“Y/N I trust yeosang so if he is assuring you on this matter then please trust him for me.”
Your thoughts are debating on whether to trust them or not but deep down you want to escape the boredom of your life and experience something thrilling so you accepted the offer. Your friend and her boyfriend took a leave and you know well what is their plan for the night so you just chuckled and turn towards Wooyoung with raised eyebrows to know why you are here exactly.
His gaze is on your legs and you just brushed your skirt to show your uneasiness for his act. He quickly looked up and grinned, “You are really pretty but you should not have worn this dress which is apparently looking too good on you and getting the attention it needs.”
“Thanks but I don’t usually go out and that’s why I thought to wear this maybe don’t know when again I would get the chance to wear it again.”
“Never.” Wooyoung whispered but when he saw your confused look, he quickly spills out the reasons to keep you here.
“Well Y/N, you did notice how San got the punch there and do you know why did that happen?”
You shook your head when suddenly he came forward and slide his hand around your neck to pull you closer, “Umm Wooyoung….”
“Yes?”
“Why did it happen?”
“Because of you. Your pretty face was distracting my boy and it leads to him getting a punch.”
“Me? But I-“
“You are not sorry for that?” you shyly look down but his other hand grips your chin to face him.
“Are you not sorry for that?” You nodded and he smiled when his gaze moves down from your eyes to your pink lips.
“You need to repay for that you know so come with me to our van and clean up his wound. I hope you won’t deny this.”
“I am sorry but I need to go home.”
“I will take you back home only when you help my boy to clean his wound and pain.”
Your eyes taking in his look, he has a sharp facial feature with veiny neck which is revealed due to his black and white Versace-Greca printed shirt which has three buttons open from the top revealing his chest teasingly with a black baggy pant. You quietly agreed with him and he took you to the backside of the club to a darker alley where on one side a van was parked. Every step nearing the van is making your heart beat faster and also being so close with wooyoung is not helping the situation.
————
Coming to the side of the van, he moved away from you and entered the front passenger seat. You are following his movements to contemplate the situation accordingly. You can only see him turning back inside and removing a curtain separating the back portion of the van which is almost like a travelling mini room with a quite enough space for two persons to sleep and also rest of the space to hang clothes and keeping all necessary place. These were not visible properly so out of curiosity you were leaning a bit forward to see what was inside and suddenly you meet San’s eyes, he smirks.
Wooyoung came out and holds your hand to take you to the back of the van. He opened the door and signalled by his head to you to enter it. The yellow hue light coming from inside the van is the only bright light in that alley right now and then when you looked inside, you can see everything clearly what you were imagining from outside and out of all things, the most eye catchy to you now is that San is sitting leaning his back to the driver’s seat staring at you.
“Hi sweetheart.” The way he said the nickname to you is so seductive and the deep voice is making the nickname a sweet venom from his mouth.
“Ummm Hi….” You entered the van and quickly sit on the seat which is taking the half side of the van to whose other San is sitting. The seat is in a somewhat shape of a sofa which can fit almost two people to sleep. Next in the way, Wooyoung entered the van and shut the door.
“Help me.” He is not asking you, this way he is totally commanding you so you quickly asked them for the necessary medicines and cotton and water and lastly the bandages. His black loose leathery pants are matching with the way his sweaty muscles and neck are shining under the yellow light seems like a smooth buttery material is wrapped around his skin.
Wooyoung provide you with all the things you asked for and you scooted near san to start clean his wounds but his hands pull you close and made you sit on his lap while his one leg is folded to make you sit on it and the other one is spread in front and near the feet, Wooyoung is sitting eyes bored in his phone.
“You need to come closer to take a proper look at the wound.” You want to scream for this close proximity but keeping your mouth and mind shut, you just nodded on his words.
You are so immersed in cleaning his wound, you didn’t notice a small smile on his lips and the way his hands moving upward to caress your back. The sudden touch made you shift in your place and when you look at his eyes, they are still closed. You brushed off the feeling and continue doing your work when his one hand grabs your neck tightly but not much to make you uncomfortable and the other hand holds your hand which was resting on his shoulder. You stopped what you were doing.
“Did I tell you to stop?”
“I a-am  do-doing it.” You know he is up with something but a tingling sensation inside you is making you excited and let him to do whatever he wants.
“What happened? Is there something making you uncomfortable?”
“……no.”
“Then continue.” You resume your actions but this time his hand holding your other wrist leaves it and put it on your knees and sliding them upward in the way folding your skirt slowly revealing your thighs and the grip on your neck tightens. This cause you to scratch the wound a bit.
“Ah!” your and wooyoung’s worried eyes looked his way. Wooyoung asked him when taking his and yours position precisely, “What hurt you again?”
“Nothing Woo, just someone is being a bad girl here.”
“I’m sorry but……” But? What will you say? That your damn hand is distracting me and now you have to repay me for distracting me from my one-night healer job? You remained quiet.
“But?” Woo asked you from behind so you turned your head to see him smirking.
“I think she is not willing to help me with this so maybe she can help me with something else.”
“Huh?” You didn’t get what San is referring to when he suddenly make you sit facing Woo and leaning your back to his chest. You tried to sit up but he grabs your throat lightly and pressed your torso down.
“Woo why don’t we celebrate the night in our own way?”
“I’m liking the celebration already.”
“Celebration?”
San whispered in your ears, “You are going to help me in this celebration or you are not getting home tonight. I know your body is also aching with the excitement for this.”
Wooyoung scoots near to your figure and he unbuttons your shirt revealing you in a white bra underneath it. His hungry eyes scans all over the exposed part and in action your hands moved to hide them but got held back by San.
“No need to hide this prettiness from us.” Your eyes following how wooyoung shifted your skirt a bit upward to reveal the dark wet patch on your panty.
“San she is already so wet for us.”
“Mhm….She is equally excited for us to devour her as she is our main dessert for the celebration for my win.” His hands slide down your shirt from the shoulders to prepper your neck and shoulder with wet kisses and biting on some places. You whimpered when he bit you near the ear and then he got to know that is your sweet spot so he repeatedly bit you in that region. Meanwhile, Wooyoung slide down your panties slowly and removing your shoes in the way. He placed himself between your legs and him sitting on his knees holding your knees apart to view your folds.
“San I want to taste her first. I want to taste whether the dessert is as delicious I have expected or more than that.” San chuckled on Woo’s dedication and paused on his way of devouring you. He grabs your chin and made you look at him, “Woo please eat her out and I want to see how long she can keep her little mouth shut from us.” Then San kissed you, a dominating kiss and when he said you are their dessert, he really meant it because the way he is sucking your lips and then he bit you to open your mouth and obediently your mouth opened to which his tongue exploring the inner mouth all over. Wooyoung’s tight grip on your inner thigh and his hot breath fanning over your folds made you alert of his presence between your legs and your exposed parts.
“Mhmmmm” this is what you could manage to say between the kiss when your aching heat comes in contact with wooyoung’s hot breathe.
Suddenly, Woo takes a long strip from the lower regio to the upper fold and this made your body arche but held back in place by San. San detach his lips from you to look at Woo and you also followed his gaze to see him looking upward with lust in eyes and your leaking arousal on his lips.
“She really tastes like the most delicious dessert than I ever had.”
“She tasted exactly the same up here as well.” San replied to agree with Woo.
San pushed your head on his shoulder when his one hand grabs your throat and the other one on your thigh. His mouth attached with the side of your throat to suck on them. Woo is sucking your folds as if that is his favorite dessert he got after years and this is the last time he has his hands onto. The overwhelming sensation is causing to building up a knot in your stomach and you close your eyes tightly to keep yourself enough with the feel of taking you to the edge.
“San….Woo….”You breathily moaned and then San spoke up. You gripped Woo’s hair tightly making him grunt in pain and pushing his face more inward while the other hand is gripping SAN’s thigh, almost your nails digging in.
“You are not going to cum unless we are satisfied enough to let it loose.”
You shook your head as it was already too much for you to control and now his commanding voice is making it impossible to hold it in. To your disapproval san’s hand travelled down to your clit and starts rubbing circle adding to the already stimulated region.
“SAN!......please no….please….I want to….”
“Should we stop?” Your ears are taking in the wet sounds of woo sucking your folds and San’s wet kisses on your throat but his words warned you.
“NO.”
“Then take what we are giving or else we are leaving you here.” You are totally whimpering under the touches and sucking of two males. Woo’s grip on your thigh is making a read handprint and while san’s other hand is messaging your covered tits and one is rubbing circles. Woo’s tongue entered your wet folds and San inserted one finger into the hole making a sloppy sound. Thrusting of tongue and finger is too much for you and keeping you on edge for so long is making you overstimulated with the sensation.
“Cum.” San’s whisper sends an electric wave to your body and you let it loose.
“Woo!…..I- I-…. San.” You are heavily breathing and you didn’t notice that San has removed your cloth covering your tits and woo removed the skirt from your waist. Woo tiredly comes up to take one of your breasts into his mouth and messaging the other one.
San again welcomed you to a more rough and needy kiss this time. During the kiss, San removed his sando and woo got up to free himself from every clothing from his body. You look towards Woo and then you see how well built his body is. Probably he also goes to practices with San. Woo smirked when he caught you staring at him.
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Do you need one?” Why is this man suddenly interested in my private life? I mean I know I am having nothing to hide here at this point but still.
“ I don’t know.”
“ But we know.” San suddenly interjects between you and Wooyoung.
“What?”
“You don’t need boyfriend anymore when you got us.”
“Us?”
“Oh Y/N, our sweet dessert. The moment we saw you in that cute pink outfit, we were determined to make you our only dessert.” Woo made his way near both of you.
“Moreover you are my fan.” San spoke from behind when Woo took you from him to hold in his embrace and facing you both towards San. Your eyes following him how he throws away his pants and quickly get off his boxers revealing his hard length to you.
“I’m not your fan. I just came here to accompany my friend and that’s how you saw me holding that sign board.”
“That’s pity that you are not a fan of my boy but you are still my girl.”
“I’m not your girl.” San quickly made his way in front of you holding you tightly to enter your entrance. His length teasing you and Woo’s hard length poking in your lower back from behind making you anxious to feel them inside you.
“Look at me.” Your eyes quickly look up to meet San’s eyes.
“Have you done this before?”
“no.”
“We will keep that in mind but we won’t go easy on you .”
“We?”
“We both will enter you the same time and maybe then we will take turns if you can keep up.”
“ I don’t think-“ San entered you and his big length makes your eyes teary and san kissed away your tears and cooed you.
“Its okay sweetheart. I know you can take us. Trust us and everything will be fine."
You nodded your head on his words and he entered your entrance with ease again and his length widens your holes which cause your eyes to water even more. Your hands move upward to touch his abs and to feel him more close than already he is.
“SAN!”
His thrusts are sloppy and he is caressing your back and cooing in your ears to make you calm. He kissed away your teary eyes to make you feel the little comfort in that state. Woo entered you from behind and the pain for taking another length makes you to cry out.
“Woo..”
“It’s okay sweetheart. Take it. You can do it well.”
Woo added, “ I know you can do take me too.”
You made your concentration focused on the two lengths inside of you to make you at ease. You didn’t have sex with anyone before but you have taken off this sexual frustration off from you on your own. Relationship is a big deal for you as you overthink about every little thing in your life but tonight you let all of your thoughts to be aside and just go with the flow.
Their thrusts are sloppy and in sync with each other. They are praising you with their nicknames of their own, San is calling you his sweetheart and woo as his girl but the common name they have given you is ‘Dessert’. Why not because tonight you are their desert for the celebration for his win.
“San….Woo…”
You can feel a familiar knot is building up inside of you and their thrusts are increasing in pace. SAN’s thrusts are more aggressive and faster in pace while Woo’s thrusts are rhythmical and a bit gentle.
“You are so tight…agh…” woo growled and sucked on your neck.
“You feel so good wrapped around me. You are doing so well for us.” San praised you and pulled your hairs backward to rest your head on woo’s shoulder and then he leans forward to kiss your chest and gliding his mouth to one of your breast and sucking them hard and messaging the other in process. Woo’s one hand gripping your hip similarly like San to maintain his pace and the other one playing with the nipple of the one San is messaging. They repeated the same action with the other one in the same way.
You are a whimpering mess now and under all these touches with two males thrusting inside of you making you talk rubbish. Your are choking on your words because of the pain and also the pleasure you are feeling making your vision go white. Their pace increase and you are about to let it burst and you can feel by their words that they are also at their edge.
“SAN I’m about to cum. Woo please let me cum. Please San”
“Yes sweetheart. I know , just wait a bit more.”
“My girl. I will cum soon.” Woo thrusted deeply and after three thrusts he came. He rested his head on your shoulders and breathing heavily. SAN’s thrusts increase again and the sloppy sound in your entrance making you to let it go by any instant. Woo hold one of the breast and the other hand rubbing circle on your clit when he suddenly puts his lips on you.
“Woo….please…this is too much.”
“Cum.”
“San!”
You both cum together but he didn’t take it out of you rather sloppily thrusting inside you. The exhausted self of yours is very sensitive to this overstimulation but they didn’t stop their action until you all ride out your high.
“ my girl is the best and did so well.” Woo leaned to his back and let you rest against his body. San pulled himself out of you and pulls a cloth from nearby hanger and wiped your face. He threw that cloth away and take you on his lap and embraced your body as if protecting you from the whole universe.
“Sweetheart you did so well for me and for us. Thank you.”
“Hmmm…” San is rocking you on his lap. Woo sit beside him and caress his hand all over your body to make you feel at ease.
“My girl is so sleepy.” Woo caress your head lightly.
“SAN I need to go home.”
Woo asked you, “ Do you think you can walk?”
“It’s okay sweetheart. You sleep and we will drive you home later.”
“You don’t know my address.” Your eyes are hooded and can’t think of anything as your brain is still foggy brain.
“It’s okay I don’t need it when we can take you to our house as it’s also yours from today.”
Woo added, “ if we need your address then we can ask it from Yeosang.”
You nodded and clinged to San and your other hand hold woo closer to your body. San kissed you on your forehead and woo kissed you on the shoulder and pulls a cover over to cover three of you.
“Sleep my girl. We have so much to talk about tomorrow.”
“Sweetheart don’t worry about anything as you are now with us. We have to take care of you, our dessert who has melted with all the exhaustion and we are not letting you go now. Sleep.”
Maybe this is something you really needed in life. A life with these two about whom you didn’t know anything few hours ago but now they are the ones comforting you in their embrace and protecting you from the whole universe. Your life possibly can be better with them and maybe something more interesting the future holds for three of you.
You fell into slumber and them holding you close tightly in their embrace away from the whole world.
In the silence of the night, there is a sweet dessert kept warm. The happiness can only be ended on a good note with a dessert.
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This is my first time writing SMUT so please do tell me whether I should write further any smut fics or not.🥹
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Hello! I'm so happy I found your blog! I like your story, the way you write it! And it’s so easy for me to imagine my OC with your story, because our OCs are a little similar, only my character is something like a god/demon of death, a little more cold and his pets are snakes))
Sooooo... Sorry for taking a lot of time with my character 😅 the request for headcanons is haulian x reader and how will Xie Lian and Hua Cheng react if the reader feels like the third wheel in their trio and become a little bit distant because want to give them some space? (I have the idea in my head that the reader is basically like your OC, i like him soooooo much)
Sorry if it's not clear, English is not my native language. And if you don't like the idea, just ignore it))
Closing The Distance
Hua Cheng x M!Reader x Xie Liam
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I'm so happy you like my writing and I love to hear about your OC so don't worry. I'm happy our OC's are so similar 🥰🖤
I like writing stories with my headcanons soooo bare with me, bear with me???
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You've been distant. Well you've never reached out to people before this either, but you're more distant than usual.
Xie Lian and Hua Cheng noticed immediately.
How you start declining things, how you just sit to the side, you don't talk much, You let them sleep alone, eat dinner alone.
You stop being near them. The kisses you give dwindle down to nothing and the words "I love you" have been reserved.
They haven't a clue why. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng have tried to think of every reasonable possibility but don't know why
Why would you want to be alone when it's supposed to be the three of you together?
It gets to the point where they have to visit you instead of the other way around. Paradise Manor, and Puqi shrine is all of your homes but you don't show up to either one anymore.
You're hiding away at your own place and they just don't know what to do
It really breaks Xie Lian's heart because you've been by his side all these years why do you want to leave now?
Hua Cheng is equally devastated. He would do anything for you and Xie Lian but you're pulling away.
The two can only think that maybe you just don't love them anymore, maybe you're tired of them?
You would never do that though
Xie Lian doesn't like it and neither does Hua Cheng. They intend to get to the bottom of it because they love you.
They would try to give you space but when it seems to only make it worse they don't stop bothering you
That's what it seems like you need, to be bothered.
Xie Lian keeps asking, and caring for you
Hua Cheng gets insecure. He knows he's good that Xie Lian loves him but do you? You aren't disgusted by him are you? Contrary to popular belief ghost kings get insecure too
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You are pathetic, at least you feel like you are. Hiding away like a bug under a rock. You don't know when it started and you couldn't control it when it got out of hand. It's nothing against Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, you love them dearly. But the problem you have feels like a problem you can't even bring up. You don't want to hurt them.
Would you hurt them more by bringing it up or staying hidden?
So you've been... Lying here. Bed rotting. If you can even call it that. You're actually just lying under a rock. Very literally. You're hanging out in a small cave. It's nothing you aren't used to you used to do it with Xie Lian all the time.
You could've gone to the heavens and hidden up there but you don't have friends. You have Feng Xin, and Mu Qing but you know they would snitch on you if it came to Xie Lian. So here you are under a rock. Overthinking.
You always overthink, it's why you left in the first place. You also felt selfish. It's hard to see Xie Lian and Hua Cheng together. You love them both, honest! But what do they even need you for? They look perfect without you, like they were made to just have each other. You felt like you were getting in the way, or like a third wheel.
You know they love you too but... It feels so difficult to be included. When Hua Cheng first showed up he immediately was able to take Xie Lian's side and help him with missions. Which was fine you guys needed the extra help anyways but then you learned their pasts. They're just so intertwined with each other
Hua Cheng built temples for Xie Lian, released 3,000 lanterns, built statues, fought in war, challenged 33 gods, cut out his eye, and died 3 times for him, and broke his shackles! What could you possibly add to the relationship. No one could care for Xie Lian better than Hua Cheng.
Xie Lian saved Hua Cheng when he was a child, and stayed with Wu Ming. Gave him a coral pearl, and red string. What have you done?
All the heavens talk about is Xie Lian and Hua Cheng. The ghost realm is the same. You were never a prominent figure so people forget you're even there. They don't even know you're their lover too.
So yes it's hard, and maybe it's selfish that you want to feel more included when they already spoil you when anything you could ask for. Which is why you're hiding in a small, dumb cave. You eventually fall asleep to the pitter, patter of rain.
When you wake up you aren't under a rock anymore. You're in bed. In red sheets, in a red room, red, red, red. You're at paradise manor. You wouldn't mind that if you weren't actively avoiding your lovers. You sit straight up in bed and before you can tumble out Xie Lian is at your bedside. He's frowning and has this worried look in his eyes that makes you feel guilty.
"Where have you been, y/n?" You look away and shrug. "In the cave you found me in" your lips wobble a little. You don't know what to say. What excuse could you use this time? You pick at a loose piece of thread on the blanket and notice that Hua Cheng isn't in the room with you two. ". . . Where's San Lang?"
"A-Lang" Xie Lian interrupts you and his hand finds yours "You've always called him A-Lang"
You want to crinkle under his piercing gaze. "Where's A-Lang?" You whisper glancing back at the blanket.
"Standing outside the room. Baobei why have you been avoiding us?" Xie Lian turns your gaze back to him.
"I-I just was dealing with my own issues" Your hands fist in the blankets and your eyes get watery just thinking about how selfish you've been.
Xie Lian's hand caresses your cheek, "Our issues. We can help you if you tell us."
You bite your lips and bring your hand up trying to wipe your tears before they get the chance to stream down your face. "It's selfish" you spit, venom covers your tongue. "It was a pathetic reason, really. I just was overthinking and I felt like. . . A third wheel. It's not a big deal though" You glare at the blanket. Your anger of course isn't directed at them but at yourself. Xie Lian knows this too.
"A third wheel, how come?" He runs his fingers through your hair. Him and Hua Cheng have tried everything to include you so how could one feel left out?
"It's my own fault, I just don't feel like I have anything to add. I've nothing to offer. I've done nothing compared to you two" You're completely useless like always.
Xie Lian's questioning is interrupted when the door slams open. You both jump when Hua Cheng storms in and grabs a hold of your face. He would never hurt you, you all know this. "Nothing to offer? Just who are you talking about right now?" He frowns at you with furrowed brows. "I don't think we're seeing the same person." He doesn't let you divert your gaze keeping you there.
Hua Cheng knows what you're feeling, your insecurities stemming all from feeling useless. He knows how it is. "You have everything to offer and even if you didn't we would love you anyways. You don't have to add anything y/n, you can just be" he frowns and sits on the bed.
"I think you're going blind in your other eye. I really don't have anything" you blink away tears. "This one offers so much and he doesn't even know, he's done so much for the two of us and doesn't remember. Right gege?" Hua Cheng looks at his other husband for approval and Xie Lian nods.
"This one is a heavenly official. You have to work hard to become a god in the upper court" Xie Lian adds. You scoff though. "That's not what I'm talking about, I-I haven't done anything for the two of you"
Hua Cheng wants to shake you in a jar. "You have though!" Now he's yelling and Hua Cheng doesn't yell only when it comes to the two of you. "Who's rayed by Xie Lian all these years protecting him when I was lost? You did! Who took care of Hong er when Gege's other servants wouldn't dare touch him? You did. Who gave a mongrel child their family heirloom because he had sympathy and was kind? You did!" Hua Cheng holds your face in his hands still.
"You work so hard, and have gone through so much just like the rest of us and yet you still worry about others still!"
"every night this one takes care of us and helps Gege make dinner. Every day this one protects us, every day this one thinks of us and gives his best for us!"
Hua Cheng gives endless reasons small to large. You're crying in his hands and Hua Cheng wipes them away for you.
"No one is allowed to insult my lovers, even if they're doing it themselves" Hua Cheng finishes and kisses your forehead. Xie Lian is smiling and he kisses your forehead too.
"Don't run from us anymore, you can tell us what you're thinking anytime. Me and San Lang have no problem giving you the reassurance you need" he hums and joins you two in bed. All three of you cuddle for the rest of the night and the two practically suffocate you, not allowing you to leave bed. But you love them and would gladly lie here tangled in their limbs.
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I hope y'all like it! Also ignore my grammar mistakes guys I always have some. 🖤
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haknom · 1 year
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A COMPLETE GUIDE TO DANCE (AND DEFINITELY NOT LOVE) — NISHIMURA RIKI
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SYNOPSIS: Niki felt his world crumble after hearing his doctor’s words—he wouldn’t be able to compete in his biggest dance competition. After an incident that left him injured with the need of 4 months to recover, life was considered terrible. When he receives the news that you, a newcomer, would be taking his spot he knew he had lots to teach you. Starting with putting you in your place.
PAIRING: dancer!niki x dancer-fem!reader (ft. enhypen, soobin from txt, jisung from nct dream, dino (chan) and wonwoo from seventeen, sunwoo from tbz, and mentions of many more).
GENRES: highschool au, dance au, (kinda) enemies to lovers, unrequited love, romance, some angst, and lots of humour.
WARNINGS: crying, a lot of insulting (they hate each other at the start), injuries, mentions of blood (nothing rlly serious), eating, kissing, mentions of overthinking, lmk if i missed anything!
PLAYLIST: here!!
NOTE: special thanks to @soov and @hanniluvi for helping me write parts i struggled on ☝️☝️ but here is the final product!! i was determined to finish this so It took me about a week. very happy! title is also from @sunoksunny and it literally fits the fic so well which makes it even better. ty to @amakumos for proofreading as well🤗
WORDCOUNT: 15604 words
TAGLIST: @soov @redm4ri @ox1-lovesick @urszn @feeeli @taejays @hanniluvi @dakkisz @dimplewonie @ddeonudepressions @xiaoderrrr @ja4hyvn @mmaplepastries @essmarye @w3bqrl @jennaissantes @yenqa @yeokii @yyunari @wvnkoi @flwrshee @starz4hyunz @eulris @alicesolengg @ohmylix @txtbrainrot @miyaheartsjortega @eneiyri
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STEP 1.
Dance was Riki’s most prized possession. Growing up he was told he had impeccable talent in dancing which only made him love it even more. He loved the compliments he got and took them in as motivation to continue improving his talent to wow others even more.
As a child, he always peeked inside his parents dance studio when classes were happening. He learned a few tips and new moves that he made a mental note for to practice once he returned home in front of his mirror. 
The dance studio was like a second home to him. Although his parents were the ones who owned the studio, he was spotted there way more than they were. 
If you couldn’t find him in his room playing video games, he was most likely in the dance studio with dimmed lights and dancing flawlessly in front of the mirror. 
It ended up becoming a habit of his; rushing to the dance studio once school ended and staying there until dinner was served. His uniform drenched in sweat, tie loose, his shoes squeaking once harshly pressed against the polished floor with music playing to back it up.
Nothing—besides video games—but dancing with friends or alone could bring him the joy he needed to survive. 
But for it to all crumble away after hearing a few words made it feel like everything meant nothing to him. 
“What?” He didn’t want to believe what his doctor said was the truth. “I said you’ve severely injured your ankle. It must’ve gotten worse since you continuously danced on it and ignored the pain until it became unbearable.” Wonwoo spoke while pushing away from his desk causing his chair to roll over to Riki.
“Therefore, you won’t be able to partake in any practices and competitions for 4 months.” He said in a disappointed tone. Riki’s eyes widened. Suddenly it became harder to breathe upon hearing those words. Words that he never wanted to hear.
He felt like he was suffocating. Body becoming immobile with the throbbing in his ankle not making it any better. It made him irritated and frustrated. He wanted to cry there and then but fought back the tears until his appointment was over.
His opportunity to attend the biggest dance competition he ever had that could practically predict his future career was gone in a mere second. It was 3 months away but he would still need an extra month to heal. There’s no way he’d heal in time.
“Here, you seem like you need it.” Wonwoo’s voice pulled him out of his suffocating thoughts as he looked up in confusion but the single droplet that fell from his lash line was enough to answer his unsaid question. 
He was crying and he hadn’t even noticed it. The grip he had on the edge of the chair tightened as he harshly bit his bottom lip—hard enough to draw small droplets of blood. Wonwoo felt terrible. He knew how much dancing meant to Riki. 
Ever since Riki was a little kid, he always had something new to say about dancing every time he visited Wonwoo’s office. It was something that never changed. So breaking the terrible news to Riki was already hard enough but seeing his reaction made it even more difficult.
“Dr. Wonwoo, please come to the main office.” The nurse said on the intercoms. “I have to go, stay healthy. Don’t knock yourself out because of this, it won’t be that bad. Mum, please monitor how he is for the next 4 months and come back monthly for a checkup. Call if you have any worries.” He smiled at her, she smiled at him, and then he was gone.
“Riki, let’s go. It’s best if you start resting now.” His mother said as she reached for the crutches left by Wonwoo but he didn’t move an inch. He was still trying to process the sudden heartbreaking news. 
He wasn’t able to dance nor partake in the competition that was in 3 months. The one he had been training for his whole life only for it to be swept away before his eyes. How else was he supposed to react?
During the drive home he didn’t bat an eye at the studio. Looking at it then at his ankle would only make what was supposed to be reality be reality. It had been an hour since they left the doctor's appointment. An hour for Riki to take in everything that had happened. And he did, sadly.
Slowly, one by one, tears began flowing from his eyes in silence. It wasn’t a bad cry but more of a silent cry. It began to progress into something even worse causing his shoulders to shake to his sobs and sniffles. 
It was a terrible sight to see which only made his mother feel even worse. She knew it wasn’t her fault but seeing her own son react in this way made it seem like it. 
Rolling into the driveway didn’t stop Riki’s sobs. Nothing did. Not even the so-called comforting hugs from his sisters and parents. Once it was time to sleep, his eyes were dry and puffy. It was like he cried out every salty tear he had within him. 
“Riki?” His mother called from his doorway. She sighed at the silence and walked over to his bed. His body shuddered at the sudden cold feeling of the ice pack on his injury. 
“Lift your leg, if you can.” She whispered as he followed through. Gently, his mother placed a soft object, most likely a pillow, motioning him to relax his leg once again. She covered him with a medium weighted blanket and smiled at his drowsy state. 
“Sleep well.” Her voice sounded distant and close to a mumble as he felt himself slowly falling asleep by the minute. With the little amount of energy he had left, he thanked her, causing her to stop in her tracks for a moment and smile even brighter. 
It was like the moment his door clicked shut, it felt as if a switch labeled 'SLEEP" was activated, swiftly transporting him to dreamland. 99.9% of him was hoping whatever had happened earlier was a part of his dream. The other 0.1% knew it most likely wasn’t. 
Waking up the next day with the same throbbing pain from yesterday proved his hope was useless. In return, he can never dance again no matter how hard he tries or prays. 
STEP 2. 
It had been a week since the doctor’s appointment. He was doing quite better than before. The news finally sunk in, leaving him to cry less but it wasn’t as bad as he expected. 
Once he found out the more he rested the faster he could heal, fighting the urge to dance wasn’t that hard. He even switched to singing to distract himself—but spoiler alert, it’s definitely not his thing. At least he still had video games and friends to keep him occupied for the time being. 
He took his seat on the bus already tired from using his crutches to get to the bus stop. “Woah, what happened to you!” His friend Jake exclaimed from the seat across from him. He turned around to face the boy and sighed.
“Long story.” He was tired of explaining it to everyone who had asked before. Jake hummed in response, grabbed his backpack and fled to the empty seat behind Riki.
“So, how’s the dance for your competition coming along?” His question made Riki freeze. Although he was getting better, that didn’t mean the thought of the competition didn’t hurt him. “Wait, are you not competing?” Jake asked.
“Apparently, my ankle will heal in 4-5 months. Maybe even 3 and a half if I’m lucky.”
“So you’re not participating?”
“Only if my injury doesn’t heal before the performances,” he explained. “But you’re still going to be behind, right? Soobin might have a replacement for you instead.” Riki looked directly at Jake with daggers. 
“Just saying, that’s what happens during our choir performances, especially the solos.” He backed away, hands in the air for his defense and took his seat.
He wasn’t completely wrong and that’s what Riki hated. 
He didn’t like the thought of being replaced after working so hard to get to where he was. If he were to get replaced, he hoped it would be someone with enough talent and skill like him, for example, Chan or Jisung, his close friends on the team.
The bus stopped at another spot, picking up new passengers. Riki adjusted his crutches to make an easier walkway and leaned his head on the window.
He really didn’t want Jake to be right. 
Monday mornings always had a scheduled 7:15 AM dance practice before attending classes followed by one during lunch but Riki's condition made him limited to many things and waking up early wasn’t one of them. 
The dark circles showcased under his eyes proved his point. The constant throbbing pain he felt throughout the night made sleeping a struggle. He definitely would be napping the moment he got home.
As he walked with his crutches under his armpits, heads turned at the sound in shock. The boy who boasted about dancing 24/7 was now incapable of doing so. 
“Dude? What's up with you?” Chan came running over to Riki in a hurry. “April Fools is a month away, are you perhaps doing it earlier?” He inquired. Riki looked at the boy in confusion. “Are you being for real? Chan, I seriously injured my ankle.” Chan’s eyes widened at his words. 
“Impossible! What about your competition, the one you’ve been training for since forever?” 
“Can’t,” Riki exhaled, “I can’t participate in it anymore.” They stood in front of his locker with a crutch laying on Chan’s. 
“You’re lying.” He spoke in disbelief. 
“I’m not, but I wish I was.” Riki pulled out his notebooks, slipping them into the opened pouch of his backpack. 
“And this isn’t bothering you? Come on, it’s the biggest event of your life!” He exclaimed. Riki looked at Chan while shutting his locker shut with a loud slam.
“Of course I was sad—very sad. But still, why are you offended by this more than I am?” Riki truly was unsure of how and why Chan felt like this but the way Chan walked away in annoyance was not a good enough answer.
“Okay then…” He mumbled, swinging his backpack on then grabbing his crutch. All he had to do was walk to his next class which was located upstairs. Hopping up the stairs on one foot would definitely drain his energy.
Usually, he and Chan would walk to History together but that wasn’t the case for them today. He was long gone—nowhere to be seen, and that only took him 5 minutes to get there. It was like he was teasing Riki but really wasn’t.
The bell rang the moment he stepped foot in class, shocking everyone especially his teacher, Mr. Junhui, meaning he would have to go through another explanation process.
“What happened, Riki?” Mr. Junhui questioned as he sighed, opening his mouth to speak whatever flew out but someone beat him to it.
“He hurt his ankle and can’t participate in the upcoming competition.” Chan said, anger visible in his voice. 
All heads turned to look at Chan, including Riki’s. “Really? Is that true?” A classmate asked. Riki cleared his throat and nodded. “Sadly, yeah.” He said as the classmate gasped.
“How did you feel when you heard the news?” She asked once more. “Heartbroken. I cried a bit, which is quite embarrassing to admit, but it’s not like you can choose what happens in your life.” He took his seat, beside Chan, while placing his crutches at the side of his desk.
He slouched over his desk, letting out a deep sigh. Once Mr. Junhui began teaching, Riki looked over to Chan in curiosity. “Stop,” Chan mumbled and looked away from his curious gaze. 
“What am I doing wrong?” Silence. “Come on, are you really mad?” Silence, again. 
“Chan—”
“Are you really going to throw away the competition just like that?” He whisper-shouted, startling Riki with his sad but slightly annoyed tone. “Look, I really don’t have a choice. For the most part…” Riki hesitated. 
“You or Jisung could replace my spot. That’s an even better opportunity for you both.” As much as he didn’t want to say those words, there was still a high chance of them being his replacements.
Chan tucked his bottom lip underneath his teeth at the thought. They promised each other to pursue a career in dance together. This competition being the only one that could decide whether or not it was possible just had to take place at the wrong time.
“No thanks. There’s no way I’d take such a big opportunity like that away from you over a silly injury.” Chan said dryly but nicer than before. His attention was then brought back to focusing on Mr. Junhui’s teaching. Riki smiled to himself with the urge to tease him even more. 
“Hey, can I have a pencil?” He asked, gaining his attention again but his eyes still on their teacher. “Get your own, you probably have one somewhere in your backpack.” He’d emphasize. 
“Chill, I organized it the other day. I had nothing else better to do.” Riki said while reaching for his own backpack as Chan hummed in amusement. He pulled out a pencil he kept for this exact occasion. “Perfect,” he mumbled in satisfaction and began writing on the assigned worksheet from a while ago.
Chan glanced at the boy then did a double take at his pencil. “What the hell is that?” He asked. “A pencil, what else?” Riki said, stating the obvious with a chuckle. “Riki, that’s at least 5 centimeters. Is this your way of making me give you a pencil instead?” The said boy looked over at Chan offended. 
“Hey! Is that what you think of me?” Riki questioned as Chan nodded. “Well then, you know me so well!” He whispered with a smile, opening his hands for a new pencil. Chan scoffed at the action but still handed him a pencil either way. 
It was way better than the one he was previously using. “Thank you,” he said, smiling growing even more. Chan looked at Riki’s happy state as he wrote the date and his name on the blank worksheet, a smile slowly growing on his own features. 
There’s no possible way for him to stay mad at a boy like Riki.
Riki was starving. A slice of toast wouldn’t easily fill him up for the whole morning. Once he arrived in the empty gym, he took a seat on the edge of the stage and placed his backpack on his lap. 
His crutches leaned on the edge of the stage as he waited for the rest of the dance team to arrive for practice. It was silly that they were having practice in a gym where competitive team sports members trained all day long instead of a studio like usual. 
But after the incident during one of their practices that caused what looked like a distinguishable fire to take place, left many more damages than they all had expected. Lesson learned at the time; don’t leave a fireworks machine near inflammable objects near a group of teenagers.
The sound of the heavy metal doors opening echoed through the silent gymnasium revealing his dance team. “Well you’re here early.” The coach of their team, Soobin said. “I have nothing else to do,” Riki joked while pointing at the obvious cast on his foot. 
“You hurt yourself? How?” Soobin asked,shocked and confused. “Riki injured himself?” Jisung said, appearing from behind Soobin. “Fouettes,” he started, “I must’ve injured myself the day we were practicing them.” His words elicited a few reactions from the crowd of students. 
“I thought the pain was from me practicing a lot which should go away eventually but the more I kept practicing, the more painful it became. Almost unbearable.” Riki said before taking a bite of his sandwich. “Then my mother took me to the doctors, and guess what. That’s when this came in,” he pointed to his covered ankle and crutches. 
“Did it hurt?” Yunjin, another member, asked. “Eh, not as much as before since I stopped putting pressure on it. But when receiving the news, yes. It’s going to take at least 4 or 5 months to heal.” He said, gaining Soobin’s attention. 
“That means you can’t participate in the final competition.” Soobin seemed worried about Riki's condition and the final competition. His slender fingers delicately weaved through the strands, messily fixing up his hair obviously stressed at the thought of having to change the final lineup. The real question is: who would match his dance style the most? 
He’d let out a deep sigh with a shake of his head. “Everyone, let’s start with stretching.” He said as they placed down their belongings and claimed a free spot in the gymnasium. Riki watched in amusement as they all went about with doing their own different stretches. 
“So this is what we look like…” He mumbled, stifling a laugh at the same time. It wasn’t because they looked weird but more so silly. He was glad he didn’t have to partake in the stretching session.
“I’m here! I’m sorry that I was late,” a voice exclaimed from the entrance of the gym doors. All heads turned to look at the exhausted figure. Soobin’s eyes seemed to have lit up at the sight of you as he approached you with a huge grin. 
Why aren’t you angry… You thought at the sight of Soobin’s expression not changing. “Ah, Y/N, just the person I was looking for.” He said as you raised an eyebrow at his words. What the hell was that supposed to mean?
STEP 3.
“What?” You questioned, confusion evident in your features. “I’ll tell you in a bit, first join the group of stretchers.” He instructed as you hesitatingly nodded, cautiously dropping your bag to the ground and heading off to join the crowd.
Soobin smiled to himself, satisfied with his mind. Since Riki was incapable of participating in the final competition, you could cover for him. Your dance styles were very similar and were both passionate in the things you did. Determined to complete it flawlessly no matter what the consequences were. 
It was as if you two were the same person placed in different bodies. Quite creepy. 
You weren’t able to forget about Soobin’s words from a moment ago. Curiosity crept up your body with an even bigger urge to find out what he was talking about. In silence, you stretched your limbs as the others partnered up to assist each other with specific stretches. 
It was awkward. You had only recently joined the team, around a month or two ago, and seeing everyone in friend groups and so on made you feel like an outsider. In your time alone, you were able to learn the names and faces of some members on the team. 
For example, Yunjin who hung out with another group of girls; Karina, Chaeryeong, Jiwoo, and another face you couldn’t place a name to. Then there was a group of both males and females consisting of Haewon, Changmin, Haerin, and Jaemin. And once again another face you couldn’t place a name to. 
Although you knew most of their names and faces, that didn’t mean you had spoken to them one on one. There were many times when you’d coincidentally eavesdrop on their conversations whenever you were nearby and eventually picked up their names. 
As well as those times when Soobin would call them over or say their names during group sessions. It helped a lot with matching their names to their faces.
Riki packed away his container into his backpack, unaware of Soobin’s tall figure approaching him. “Riki!” He called from a few steps away from him. He looked up at the sound of his voice, flinching once he noticed Soobin standing right in front of him. 
“Yes, coach?” He asked. “So, I understand you won’t be able to participate in the final competition…” Soobin started as Riki’s eyes lit up. “Oh, about that. My doctor informed me that if I rest a lot my ankle may heal in 3 and a half months instead.” He said, causing Soobin to ‘ah’ in understanding. 
“But either way would you be ready in time?” He asked the boy who sat before. Riki pondered for a moment. He wanted to say yes but if he was being honest, he didn’t want to perform.
With his injury holding him back, all his team members would improve their dancing to perfection while his would look sloppier than ever. He would be behind.
“I wouldn’t,” he said with a frown. Soobin gave him a tight-lipped smile in return. The way he felt was understandable. Once known as one of the team’s best dancers and ended up as the ‘worst’ in a blink. 
“That’s okay.” Soobin reassured him, feeling even more terrible. He wasn’t sure if he should still tell him about the news or keep it to himself. “But enough of that. What is it that you wanted to say?” He asked as Soobin hesitated. 
“I mean, you seemed like you had something to tell me when you first arrived in front of me.” Riki said as Soobin shook his head. “Well, since you’re incapable of performing…I was thinking of having someone take your spot,” he started as Riki nodded. “Yeah I was thinking that was going to happen. I was thinking of someone like—”
“Y/N.” 
“—Chan or Jisung—what?!” He exclaimed at his words. It’s not like he didn’t know who you were, it was only because of how long you’ve been on the team.
“Why her? There’s way more capable people on our team who have been here way longer than she has. Are you even sure she has enough potential and is prepared?” He asked, leaving Soobin quite offended by his choice of words.
“First off, be nice. Second, you guys are practically the same people. Your talents are similar and your desires to complete tasks perfectly are the exact same.” He said, Riki’s face contorted in discomfort.
“Although she’s only been on our team for a month or two, she was still able to show her true skills and determination, which is why I think she deserves to be qualified for something like this.” Soobin finished his sentence. What nonsense was he even talking about?
Riki couldn’t argue back. Soobin was his coach and whatever he had ready to say back wasn’t anything nice. “Okay,” he mumbled, “Go ahead, it doesn’t bother me.” He said in a convincing unbothered tone.
That was a lie.
It bothered him a lot. It felt like he wasn't being appreciated for his skills. Yes, he was jealous. How could he not be after losing his biggest opportunity to someone he wasn’t even acquainted with? 
If it was given to someone he knew or had incredible talent that he had seen before, that wouldn’t have bothered him as much as you did. 
Soobin smiled and nodded while clasping his hands together. His actions infuriated Riki even more but he held back his anger and watched Soobin walk off to gather the group of dancers in silence. 
“So, as you all may know, one of our dancers is terribly injured and won’t be able to participate in the final performance.” Soobin said as they all nodded with frowns displayed on their faces. “No worries! Riki and I had come to an agreement that someone else will replace his spot in the competition. Y/N, congrats!” He cheered while clapping, alone.
Everyone gasped, eyes wide as they hastily looked over at Riki who seemed more furious than ever. You, on the other hand, stood in confusion. Who was Riki and why were you chosen to take his spot? 
Suddenly all eyes were on you, some shocked, scared, and confused but one face in particular caught your attention. He didn’t show a physical reaction to Soobin’s words. Instead his eyes showed it all. It carried many emotions, specifically sadness, jealousy, and most of all, anger. 
What trouble did Soobin put you through now?
STEP 4.
You filled up your water bottle using the water fountain that was located outside of the gymnasium. The wind blew the trees as they swayed in sync. Nature reminds you a lot about dancing. There were many aspects that were similar to the things used in dance which made you fall in love with nature as well. 
Photography was also something you enjoyed. Combining it with nature only meant perfection. It was even prettier than alone. 
You’d place the cap back onto your water bottle after taking a short sip, sighing in satisfaction. It had only been 10 minutes since practice ended. You noticed everyone was gone from the gymnasium when you peeked into the windows. 
Walking around the corridor that led you to another building of the school—Drama class, you sighed at the thought of your group presentations that were due today. Everything was finished and ready to be shared but you still felt slightly nervous. You continued your walk to the building before being brought to an abrupt stop. 
“What the—” 
“Listen, I don’t care about teaching you the 4 dances I choreographed myself, but just because you replaced my spot in the big competition after joining our team only a month ago doesn’t mean you’re better than me.” He said while staring daggers into your narrowed eyes. 
You were genuinely very confused. Who was he and why was he talking about the incident from a few minutes ago? Why the hell did he look like he was about 2 feet away from you? 
In your peripheral vision, you located a blurry silver-grey item that caged you in his little compartment. You turned your head to get a better view of the item which appeared to be a crutch. 
You looked back at the boy who stood in front of you then down to his feet. He stood on one foot somehow maintaining his balance. Connecting the dots in your head, you were finally able to figure out who he was.
“Oh, you must be Riki.” You said, slightly unphased by his approach. He definitely wasn’t what you were expecting him to be like. At the sound of his name and reactions from everyone in the room, he seemed to be very admirable. You were quite excited to meet him but he turned out to be nothing of that sort.
“Are you really trying to intimidate me with your crutches?” You said in disbelief. He stiffened in his spot. Clearly his plan didn’t work. You bursted out in laughter. That’s definitely a new way to approach someone.
“Whatever, keep my words in mind. Meet me today after school in the gymnasium. We can start practicing there,” he said as your laughter came to a halt. “Yeah, no thanks. I’m not free today.” You explained as his brows furrowed, unsatisfied with your response. “Let’s just start tomorrow,” you said and began walking away. 
He was speechless. For someone who's quiet during all practices you sure knew how to run that mouth of yours. He hated it and slowly began to hate you as well. It was safe to say the feelings were mutual. 
Riki kissed his teeth in frustration while raising up his crutch at your now far away figure to only drop it by accident. He sighed at the sight of it on the grassy ground and reached down to pick it while maintaining his balance on one foot. 
It would’ve been a lie if he told you he didn’t have time tomorrow to start your practices because he did. His injury made him unavailable for many extracurriculars nowadays. 
He took a seat in the same place from yesterday’s practice during lunch, the edge of the stage. He awaited your arrival, watching time pass by on his phone, timing you. It was 3 minutes past 3:00. Only 3 minutes ever since the bell rang. Yesterday’s practice showed your habit of being late and he hated it.
The opening of the gym doors echoed through his thoughts as he looked up from his phone, spotting you in the distance. “You’re late,” he said in a stern and annoyed tone as you walked over to him. “Why should I be on time for someone like you?” You said while rolling your eyes leaving him to scoff at your words.
He ignored your previous sentence and watched you place your backpack down on the polished wood floors. Even the way you placed your backpack down ticked him off. Who throws it so carelessly as if there’s nothing delicate inside? 
You began stretching on your own as an unsettling silence fell between you two until his irritating voice had to break it. “Do you have anything prepared to showcase your skills?” He asked as you stopped in your stretching position.
“What?” You asked, genuinely confused. You were never informed of this. “Like a premade dance… Have you never attended auditions or something?” He asked as you shook your head. “I only dance for fun, why should I compete to win?” For some reason, your answer irritated him. 
Should he really let you take his opportunity at this rate? You both had different mindsets when it came to dancing. Your responses left him unsatisfied and frustrated which was never a good sign.
He took a deep breath to calm himself down before proceeding with asking questions. “So you have nothing to show?” He asked as you thought for a moment. “Well, there’s one thing,” you started while walking over to your backpack to get your phone. 
“So unprepared…” He whispered but with the shallowness of the gymnasium, his words echoed over to where you stood. You rolled your eyes while mocking his annoying voice in return. On your phone you pulled up a song you normally enjoyed on a daily basis and walked over to where he sat. 
“It’s nothing long, so don’t get your hopes up,” you warned as he laughed. “I wasn’t going to anyway.” Once again, you rolled your eyes at his words and waited for the song to play while getting in position. 
As the first beat sounded, your position switched. You proceeded with the choreography you had practiced for most of your teen years. Riki didn’t know what he was witnessing or whether to be traumatized, amazed or both. 
He had always been too focused on his own movements and never noticed yours. You practiced at the back end of the gymnasium while he practiced in the area near the doors. That was definitely something different about you two. 
Your movements were sharp and clean, similar to how he viewed himself. It was impressive how similar your dance styles were. Maybe Soobin wasn’t saying nonsense like he thought he was.
He watched in amusement as you went along with the dance. It’s been a few minutes since you’ve started the dance. He wasn’t sure how long it was supposed to be but he truly wanted to see more.
“Okay… You can stop staring at me now,” You said in an awkward tone. “I was not!” He exclaimed with slightly wide eyes. You nodded with a hum as he rolled his eyes. 
“Anyways, I could do way better than that.” He insulted you as you scoffed. “In those crutches? Yeah, please.” You retorted with narrowed eyes. He cleared his throat in embarrassment as you stifled a laugh. “That’s what I thought,” you mumbled.
“So, we have only 3 months, meaning you’ll have to practice a lot. There are 4 dances; 2 solos, a duo, and a group dance. Are you sure you could do them all?” He explained as you nodded. “Yeah, right.” he mumbled and you raised your hand in a punching motion.
“Whatever!” You exclaimed and walked over to your backpack for a sip of water. Thinking back to his words before, you were curious as to who the second person included in the duo was.
“You said there’s a duo dance, right? Who’s included?” You asked, eyes filled with genuine curiosity. Mostly everyone on the dance team didn’t take a liking to you. A few would start up short and quick conversations with you but nothing else.
Judging by yesterday’s incident, their perspective on you had gotten a lot worse even if you hadn’t done anything.
“It’s Chan, my friend.” He said while searching through his phone for previous dance practices to show. “He’s a great dancer and quite closed off. It’ll be hard to build a relationship with him, so don’t try to.” He warned. 
After witnessing Chan’s anger once he found out Riki injured his ankle, he was worried about how he felt after finding out about the news. He would’ve been 100% against that fact.
You had no clue who Chan was. There wasn’t a face you could match his name to but didn’t bother asking for an in-depth explanation of who he is.
“What about the group dance?” You asked. “Right. It consists of most of our team members; Jisung, Changmin, Yunjin, Haerin, Jaemin, and Chaeryeong.” He lists as you nod. Finally, people you knew.
The lineups weren’t bad at all. You’ve watched their dances many times and admired how they moved in their own ways.
“Here,” he said while handing you his phone. “Don’t do anything silly with it.” He warned with narrowed eyes as you took the device from him. “Wasn’t planning on it.” you looked at the screen.
It showed him in what seemed to be a dance studio. The lights were dimmed but his face was still visible. The subtle shine on his forehead showcasing the sweat from his hard work that caused a few strands to stick against it.
You began to play the video, revealing the first solo dance. By the looks of it, the dance seemed to be intermediate level which wasn’t bad for you. But the more you watched the choreography in his other 4 dances, it became harder. 
During the duo performance, he and Chan moved very fast. It was almost impossible to distinguish what moves they used. You weren’t sure if you’ve seen Chan’s face in person yet. The video didn’t show his as well as it showed Riki’s aggravating one.
“Okay. Like I said before, there’s only 3 months to learn those 4 dances. In the group dance, there’s not many solo moments but more duo moments. I’m not sure if they’re going to tune the dance to fit everything again, but yeah. Goodluck.” He smiled and took his phone back from you.
These 3 months will definitely be the worst moments of your life.
STEP 5.
Although it's only been a few days since your first practice with Riki, you hated it. You returned home with sore limbs at least everyday. Your mind was occupied by learning these dances before the deadline that you even forgot about the semester switch.
Semester 1 was finally over while semester 2 rolled in meaning there would be new classes, new assignments, and new classmates. You were usually excited to see who your classmates would be but today wasn’t the case.
“What are you doing here?” You asked in annoyance. “I was going to ask you the same thing.” He said. Biology, previously known as your favourite class, was now your most hated timeslot on your schedule. You looked around the room, looking for any other empty seats but there was nothing.
The only empty seat happened to be beside Riki, your new lab partner. He held a cocky smile across his lips as you grimaced at the sight. “What are you planning, weirdo?” You insulted and took your seat beside him.
“What makes you think I’m planning something?” He asked while twirling his pencil between his fingers. “I don’t know. But whatever it is, don’t bother asking me. I’d rather be the one walking in crutches than do anything for you.” He looked at you, smile faltering. “Well, that’s insulting.” He mumbled. 
At least you only had to share one class with him in the morning. 
Or so you thought. Walking into all 4 of your classes being greeted by an unpleasant sight, Riki. And to make things worse, the only free seat was always beside him. How bad must your luck be?
“Can I have a pencil?” He asked but you ignored him. “Hello? I’m talking to you.” He said while lightly poking you in the shoulder. He acted like a child who wanted attention from their parents.
“Hello—” 
“Take it.” You harshly placed the pencil in his hand and searched through your pencil case for a new one. “Thanks,” he said. You sighed, thinking that was the last of his troubles but no, it was only the beginning.
As class progressed, he only bothered you even more. Asking for an eraser, highlighter, for you to get him a new sheet of paper. You would’ve declined all his requests and forced him to do everything on his own but he always found a way to use his injury as an excuse. 
“It’s literally two steps away?” You said in disbelief. “Two steps I can’t take. Hello, did you forget?” He pointed at his cast as you rolled your eyes in return and followed through. 
After this, every turn you took whether or not you were in class, he was there. His back and injured ankle was pressed against the brick wall with his crutches under his armpits. You quickly turned on your pivot foot and immediately began to walk the other way. 
All you wanted was a peaceful lunch but he just had to ruin it. There was no dance practice too, it was perfect. 
The sound of his crutches tapping the concrete floor quickened from chasing after you as hope began to drain from your body. Each tap showed his determination and strength, showing that he wasn’t letting an injury stop him from doing what he wants. He created a distinct rhythm that echoed through the surroundings, making you want to walk even faster. 
Each step, the intensity grew, finding a way to overcome the physical obstacles you put him through. He just wouldn’t stop–his determination was killing you. You trying to tire him out only fueled his passion to catch up, wanting to annoy you even more. 
Finally giving up, you turned around with a very annoyed look as he staggered on his feet, trying to maintain his balance from the sudden stop. 
“What do you need now?” You asked, the annoyed tone still lingering in your voice. “Why do you always suspect that I have a reason?” He asked back, causing you to narrow your eyes. “So, you did that for no reason?” The annoyed look on your face never left and only deepened at the sound of his laughter.
“Of course not,” his laughter died down, “... Um, what was I here for again?” He looked up from his shoes and was met with your irritated face. “Hurry up or I’m leaving.” You warned as his eyes grew in size. 
“I just remembered,” no he didn’t—he didn’t have a reason to talk with you but still wanted to do so, “Mr. Sunwoo said he wanted to see you.” He explained. “That’s all you had to say? And what does he need to see me for?” You asked as he stiffened. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water as the thought of an excuse. “All he said was that he needed to see you. I don’t know the rest,” he said.
You looked him up and down and walked away. His hesitation was skeptical but you still went to the teacher’s faculty office either way. The walk over wasn’t that bad but with the humidity from the sun, it only felt worse. 
Once you opened the office door, you were greeted by the sound of banging. You were concerned and confused at what it could’ve been but shrugged it off and continued your walk over to Mr. Sunwoo’s desk.
But to your dismay, the closer you got to his desk, the louder the unpleasant sound became. You stood at the opposite end of his desk, his back facing you. “Mr. Sunwoo,” you called but there was no response.
“Oh, hi sweetheart,” he said as a female teacher walked past his desk. He was known to be a flirt amongst many of his colleagues but the more you got to know him, you were able to see how nice he was. “The printer isn’t working at the moment…” He pointed at the said object and banged on it even harder. 
You swore you heard a crack in response. He clears his throat at the sound and stands up tall, “Lovely day, isn’t it?” She hesitatingly nodded as he laughed awkwardly. “Fancy a coffee later? If you’re free, of course!” His voice raised in volume as she quickly walked away from him, shaking her head frequently. 
He sighed as she disappeared into thin air and looked down at his now broken printer. “Mr. Sunwoo,” you called, startling the poor man. “Oh, Y/N! Hey,” he greeted with a slight smile. You smiled back as your eyes flicked over to his printer. He followed your gaze and sighed once more.
“Printy—I mean, my printer broke just now. I think I printed too many things at once…” He says, staring at the huge crack displayed on the printer’s surface. “I can tell…” You mumbled while looking directly at it. “Anyways, what brings you here?” He asks while grabbing his half filled coffee mug that sat near his computer. 
“Riki said you needed to see me?” You said with an unsure tone. He didn’t seem like he needed to tell you anything. Did Riki lie to waste your time? “Uh… I don’t recall telling him anything about that?” He said also confused. 
He definitely did lie. 
“Oh, then that’s okay! I’ll see you tomorrow in English.” You waved goodbye as he did the same and went in for a sip of his now cold coffee. Today was just not his day. 
STEP 6.
Riki sat on the bench, still dressed in his P.E. uniform. “What’s the point of wearing the uniform if you can’t even participate?” You teased as he rolled his eyes. “At least I still get marks for wearing it.” He retorted as you flipped him off and walked away. 
You returned to the court, ready to play. Dodgeball was always a competitive game. Always having to dodge the balls that were thrown at you while trying to get others out added to the thrill of it all. 
Your team members, Jake, Haerin, Sunoo, and Hyunjae and the opposing team members, Changmin, Chan, Eunchae, Heeseung, and Chaewon all stood on opposite sides of the court as everyone else stood on the perimeter of the court. 
You all awaited for the blow of the whistle that commenced the game. As it blew, everyone ran to the middle, grasping a ball immediately. Some were thrown there and then while others ran back to their side of the court.
Riki watched from his spot on the bench in boredom. He focused more on the opposing team than he did with yours, finding theirs more amusing to watch. There were a few moments when he’d glance over at your team but it never lasted long. 
You grinned in satisfaction at the sight of someone being hit by the ball you had thrown a second ago. He looked over at your team, catching a glimpse of your smile. He rarely saw you smile. Whenever he was around, you scowled. 
However, something about this particular instance felt different. It was as if he saw you in a different light, finally seeing you without that angry face you’d make at him all the time. Seeing such a brief moment of your smile, made him feel…wait, what is he saying? 
Side tracked from his thoughts, he notices Chan sitting beside him, a clear sign he had been eliminated from the game. “Why are you looking at her like that?” He asked as Riki immediately averted his eyes to the floor.
“Who?” Riki asked in an attempt to act clueless. He was clearly flustered that Chan had caught him looking at you, who would’ve thought. “You were staring at Y/N with a weird gaze,” he explained as Riki laughed nervously. 
“Actually, I was staring at a bug that happened to be flying around her.” Riki explained in return, hoping Chan would buy it. 
“Where is it?” Chan said in disgust. They both hated insects anyway. “Well, um, it flew away. Yeah…” He said as Chan nodded. Maybe he was seeing things. 
“So, how is the training going?” Chan asked while looking at Riki. “It’s not bad, really, I think you two will be ready to practice with each other by next week.” He said as Chan grimaced. Right, the duo dance. 
Before he could respond, you appeared before them. You stared at them with a blank look, you were spaced out. The boy who sat beside Riki looked quite familiar but you weren’t able to pinpoint where you had seen him. 
“I’ll see you later,” Chan said to Riki while rising from his seat. “Is class over?” He asked you as you nodded to leave, not sparing you a glance. “Who was that?” You asked as he looked at you in disbelief. “That’s Chan, the boy you’ll be working with.” He explained as you nodded in realization.
Now you were able to pinpoint where you had seen him; during the big news at practice. He was the boy who looked at you with many emotions through one single glare.
He didn’t seem to like you at all. How were you supposed to do a duo dance with him if you two couldn’t even get along? You sighed and walked off to the changing rooms to prepare for your next class.
Riki, on the other hand, still questioned what happened earlier. What was he thinking about after he saw your smile? Why did that happen?
“You haven’t changed yet?” Your voice echoed through the silent gym as he looked over at you, startled. “Oh yeah, let me go do that. For now, start practicing? I don’t know.” and rushed over to the boys’ change rooms to change. 
You watched as he hopped away in confusion. He was acting more differently than before but you weren’t sure why. 
Instead of thinking even longer, you decided to go start with your stretching routines so you were ready before he returned. 
While finishing up with your final stretch, the sound of crutches approached you, causing you to look up. 
“Okay, let’s work on the last solo dance today and practice the first one.” He said while walking right past you. He didn’t even spare you a glance. You nodded at his words as he took a seat in the same spot as usual and got straight to work.
As you danced, he evaluated your moves. Your phone was set below his feet against the stage’s foundation, recording your moves. 
During this moment, he took time to steal a few glances at you while using the excuse of evaluating you. 
He was impressed. It had only been a few days, almost 2 weeks since you guys started practicing the first solo and you already got it down during that time being. 
Once you were done, you walked over to your phone and crouched down to stop the video recording. He didn’t realize it until you stood back up that you were really close. 
You watched the video with a slight smile on your face, not moving from where you were which only made Riki’s heart race even more.
But why? 
STEP 7.
It hasn’t been long since Riki claimed that he hated your guts. During his moments of bothering you, he felt joy. But he was unsure why. Was it because he got the chance to annoy you or to speak with you? It confused him.
As time went on, the two of you began bickering less. It hadn’t come to a full stop but occurred ever so often. During those quiet moments, he was able to see more of your personality, even from afar. 
You weren’t that bad of a person he thought you were. Forget about those times where he had insulted your skills and capability of participating in the competition. You were way more prepared than other team members and he was sure of it.
It’s not that he didn’t feel bad for his previous remarks, yet there was still a lingering feeling where he wondered why he uttered such hateful comments. 
“Mr. Crutches, stay focused.” You said while tapping his worksheet with your pencil. “I get that you may not want to be paired up with me because I don’t either but we still need to pass this class.” You flipped through the stapled pages while releasing a hefty sigh.
His eyes looked at you then down to the booklet in front of him titled in bolded letters, “ROMEO AND JULIET (THE SCRIPT)”. Mr. Sunwoo seemed to be a sucker for romance. He was always speaking about plays even if they had a teeny tiny bit of romance. 
You glanced at Riki who looked down at his script. Your desks were situated in front of each other which only made things even more awkward. Holding eye contact was not his best forte. You’d be lying if you said he wasn’t attractive at all. If only he kept his mouth shut, maybe you would’ve developed a crush on him a long time ago.
The longer you stared at him, you were able to notice more of his features. His lashes weren’t long but if you looked at them for a while, you could pick up on the separated lashes. His nose bridge was proportioned almost perfectly as well as his lips. 
“Why are you staring at my lips?” He asked as you looked into his eyes in shock. “What are you talking about?” You asked instead of answering him. “If you like them that bad, just say that. I get that almost everything about me is perfect. For example, my dancing, mindset, friendliness, confidence, me looking great everyday—”
“Okay. Can we focus again?” You asked, interrupting his non stop complimenting. “I wasn’t finished though.” He frowned, leaving you to roll your eyes. “Save that for another time. We have to present this section to the class and attend practice right after.” You explained, avoiding eye contact with the boy.
“It’s a team practice and with your history of being late, I’m sure Soobin wouldn’t care.” You raised your hand in a punching motion at his words. “If we weren’t in class right now, I would’ve actually done it.” You said as he chuckled. 
“Sure.” He teased. In return, you harshly flipped to the next page in your booklet, startling him in return. You were quite the scary type.
Unlike Riki’s words from English class, you arrived to practice on time. The only thing that was different from the usual setting was the quiet and dark atmosphere. At first, you thought you were late but that turned out to not be the case.  
As your eyes adjusted to the dark gymnasium, you were finally able to spot something in the distance. “Where is everybody?” You asked the figure that stood far away from you. Their back faced you as they shrugged at your question. 
In any horror movie, the main character would be cautious in situations like this but you weren’t. You were genuinely curious as to where everyone was and with the urge to find out, you approached the figure. 
“Are we too early?” You asked. It was a quick assumption to think they were on the dance team and not something else, for example, the Badminton team. You were now standing behind them as they began to turn around. “I doubt—”
“What the hell are you doing here?” His sudden harsh and annoyed tone caught you off guard as the lights suddenly flicked on. “Amazing timing!” A voice exclaimed from the entrance. You both looked over at the boy in crutches with a confused but annoyed face—for two different reasons. 
Of course, you were both confused on why the lights were off in the first place but Chan was annoyed with the fact that you were standing right in front of him while you were annoyed by the sight of the boy walking towards you two.
“Where is everyone?” Chan asked while pushing past you. You looked at him in shock but he still didn’t apologize. “Enough questions, we have work to do.” Riki said while hopping over to the stage. 
“Work? What work?” Chan asked as you both looked over to Riki. “The duo dance… Did you really forget?” Riki reminded Chan, causing his brows to furrow. “You mean I have to do the duo dance with… her?” He pointed at you and whispered the last part but it clearly wasn’t quiet enough. 
“Hello? I’m literally standing right here.” You said as he waved his hand in your direction as a way to shrug you off. “Enough of that. You expect me to dance with her? Why not Chaeryeong or Haerin? I’ll accept anything else at this rate.” You scoffed at his words and walked over to the sidelines. 
“You’re like Riki but worse.” You insulted while slipping off your backpack. Riki whipped his head in your direction in confusion. “As if you’re any better,” Chan mumbled. Your words didn’t have an effect on him like you thought they would. He would love to be compared to his best friend. 
Although he knew how Riki could be towards others, it didn’t bother him. “Moving on…” Riki said in an attempt to clear the awkward air. Something you didn’t understand about Chan was why he had something against you even though the two of you never spoke. 
Only a few days ago, you found out about his name. You share P.E. with him and Riki this semester but even then you weren’t able to figure out his name until now. 
“Listen, if you two are going to argue like this, clearly practicing won’t work. So… I have an even better idea!” He cheered while grabbing his crutches once again. The little amount of movement he did made you both realize he had never sat down in the first place. “That’s why I’m leaving you two to practice on your own. If Y/N and I could do it then you can too.” He said, ready to walk (more so hop) away using his crutches.
“Aren’t you the same person who told me not to build a relationship with Chan?” You asked the boy who froze in his spot. “Forget about that and just focus on the dance please. There’s only 2 months left.” He explained. “But where are you going?” Chan asked Riki. 
“Monthly doctor’s appointment. Wish me luck,” he mumbled and left. There you were, both you and Chan looking at each other with a present scowl on each of your faces. He looked like he didn’t want to be near you at all and you were glad you could say the same.
It was like the situation with Riki all over again. Although the two of you were slightly starting to get along now (a few insults were still thrown into the conversations between you two but other than that it wasn’t so bad), it took a lot of bickering and eyerolls to get there.
“As much as I don’t want to dance with you, we have 2 weeks to practice. Don’t fall behind,” he said while walking over to his phone then back to you. You mimicked his words to yourself as he pulled up the dance video from his perspective. 
You were now able to see his face more clearly than the video taken on Riki’s phone. Once the video ended, he pulled his phone back while placing it on the ground. “Sadly, I have to teach you this dance, alone.” He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his sweats. 
You rolled your eyes. “Let’s just get this over with.” You said while walking away to begin your stretching. “Till this day I wonder how Riki tolerated you while practicing.” He mumbled and walked away to begin his own stretches.
Real question was, how were you supposed to tolerate each other for 2-3 weeks?
STEP 8. 
Forget what you said earlier about Biology becoming your most hated subject. It was like your teacher, Mrs. Jihyo knew what you loved most—nature. Her announcement gained many different reactions from the students around you, especially Riki.
His jaw dropped with a very disgusted expression present across his features. The thought of being out in nature for longer than 10 minutes gave him chills. 
“What’s wrong with you?” You asked the stiffened boy beside you. “What? Nothing.” He said, shaking off the jitters from earlier. There’s no way he’d make it obvious that he was afraid of insects to you.
You hummed teasingly as he softly nudged you in the shoulder. “You’re way scarier than nature anyway.” He insulted you, making you glare directly at him. Suddenly, your gaze softened as your eyes lit up at the memory. “Oh right, I just remembered. Why did you tell me that Mr. Sunwoo wanted to see me although he never said that?” You asked as his brows furrowed.
Trying to recall the moment, he tilted his head side to side. “I don’t recall doing so?” He lied. What was he supposed to say if he didn’t know why he did that in the first place? “Oh, okay. I was just wondering.” You said and directed your attention back to Mrs. Jihyo. 
Why did he feel guilty? You didn’t seem to be hurt by his comment but still it felt terrible lying. He’s done it before in other situations but this one made him feel most guilty for what reason? Whatever he felt when he was around you was a feeling he hated.
It was almost like he went to sleep with a burning hatred for you and woke up with…feelings? As much as he wanted to refuse this thought, there was still a possibility. 
“Riki and Y/N? You two will be partners for the walk. Y/N, stay with him so he doesn’t fall behind, no offense, Riki.” Mrs. Jihyo said, pulling Riki from his thoughts. His eyes slightly widened after taking in her words. The two of you would most likely be alone for the next hour in nature. Could his situation get any worse? 
You stifled a laugh at Mrs. Jihyo's unintentional insult. “Alright everyone, let’s get moving!” She exclaimed with a bright smile as everyone followed through. “Dude, pay attention.” You shook his shoulder, bringing him back to reality. “Oh right.” He mumbled and grabbed his crutches as you began walking away. 
He inhaled deeply in preparation for what torture he would have to go through. 
One step outside was already enough to tell Riki that this trip would be terrible. It was humid and slightly muddy from the previous rain storm a few days ago. 
The group of students were quite far from you both. You had a silly smile on your face as you looked around, examining every detail of the scenery. Riki, on the other hand, struggle with dodging any crawling insects that approached his shoes. 
He held back the multiple screams he needed to release so badly but refrained from doing so. It would’ve been embarrassing. 
“I love nature.” You said with a relaxed sigh. “You what?” His voice was slightly shaky as he continued swatting at mosquitoes that flew within his vicinity. “It’s a relaxing place to be. It helps clear my head whenever I’m worried or stressed about something.” You explained as he stopped moving in disbelief. 
“So you’re telling me, you find an environment invested with feces and disgusting insects relaxing?” You turned around at his voice and nodded your head. “It’s not that bad.” You defended. “How?” He asked while catching up to your spot away from him. You two walked alongside each other, him hopping on his crutches but still managed to stay neck-and-neck with you.
“It’s similar to dancing—well, that’s how I view it.” You started, a smile slowly making its way on your face. He looked at you, intrigued by what else you had to say. “For example, the trees. When it’s really windy outside, they sway in sync, right?” You used your hands to emphasize your words as he nodded.
“That’s similar to, I don’t know, dancing as a group?” You said as he nodded once more. From his perspective, you looked like a child explaining their favourite game or toy. The corner of his lips turned up slightly which he was unaware of. 
Your smile was contagious. Eventually the subtle upturned smile he wore before grew into an even bigger one. You continuously boasted about your love for nature and how similar it was to dancing while he watched with a gaze everyone but him could specify. 
Next thing he knew, you both were standing in front of the group of students led by Mrs. Jihyo. His smile dropped the moment his eyes landed on the familiar faces as a light shade of pink covered the tips of his ears. Hopefully, nobody caught him smiling like a dork.
STEP 9.
It’s been a few days—almost a week since you and Chan began practicing with each other. At the start, you despised each other, and with every meeting, your hatred for him grew stronger. He would continuously belittle every move you made during practice with him, making his presence unbearable. He was even worse than Riki, whether you wanted to believe it or not. But now, that anger is fading away, and he seems a bit more likable. 
It was 7:20 AM, 30 minutes before the team practice. You and Chan both came to an agreement to meet an hour to a few minutes earlier to perfect what parts needed perfecting. 
“Let’s take 5. By that, I mean let’s rewatch the practice video.” He suggested as he walked over to stop the phone from recording while you went to grab more water. 
“Here,” you handed him his water bottle as he accepted it with a smile. Out of breath and tired, you both took a seat on the cold polished gymnasium floors. The lights were dimmed with the cloudy sky darkening the room even more. 
The two of you pointed out little details that could be changed or worked on, taking turns each time. 
Riki didn’t know what to do. He was very early for practice and doubted that the doors would be unlocked anyway. Hopping over to the doors, he tested if the door was unlocked by pulling the knob lightly. There was no jammed noise and instead it clicked open quietly. 
About to walk in and head over to his designated spot, he paused. His eyes squinted in an attempt to make out the figures— you and Chan.
It was understandable since you were both practicing for the competition anyway but the way Chan looked at you as you spoke and the way you laughed at whatever words he said made his heart pang from what could possibly be jealousy. His best friend who originally hated your guts because he felt as though you robbed him of his biggest opportunity now smiling while staring directly into your eyes? How else was he supposed to feel?
Instead of walking further inside he left. He shut the doors softly and took a seat on the nearest park bench and thought of the quickest excuse to tell Soobin once he arrived. 
The only thing that made whatever he felt feel worse was his confusion. He still was unsure why he felt this away around you and what he felt when he was around you. And the question that bothered him most, did you feel the same way around him? 
“Riki? I didn’t know you were here this early! What happened to you not being able to wake up around times like this?” A familiar voice spoke a few steps away from him. He looked up from his fiddling fingers and was met with a sight he went head over heels for. 
You were smiling at him, shocked but happy. “Oh hey.” He greeted, putting on his most convincing smile. “Chan’s here as well if you wanted to say hi. I mean, you’re best friends after all right?” You teased and walked towards the water fountain. You filled up your empty bottle, still on your break time as Riki watched.
You were so concentrated on filling up your empty bottle without creating any spills, yet you looked so beautiful, causing a small swarm of butterflies to form within him. Seriously, what was this feeling? 
“You should come watch us practice.” You suggested, breaking the silence between you two. “I’m practically done learning the dance, it’s been at least a week. There was a lot of dedication.” You explained as he hummed. He found you very impressive and he meant it everytime.
“So,” you turned around with a full water bottle in your hand, “Are you coming? Team practice is in a few anyway.” You said. He pondered for a moment but eventually gave in. He trailed behind you as you held the door open for him to enter. Chan turned around at the sound of your return, eyes landing on Riki. “Riki, hey!” Chan cheered while rising from his spot on the ground and walking over to you both. 
“Practice starts in about 10 minutes. Spare us 4 minutes to show you the dance?” Chan asked as you nudged his arm. “He already agreed to watch. There’s no time to waste.” You said while setting up the music. 
Riki sat in silence while watching you both perform the dance he and Chan choreographed together. If he was being honest, you and Chan danced great together. There was definitely chemistry between you two. He was jealous but still watched with open eyes to spot any subtle mistakes.
He couldn’t help but keep his gaze set on you. He glanced at Chan whenever he got the chance but they never lasted long. Seeing you two slightly smile at each other, compliment each other’s dancing, and do so many more things that he and Chan were supposed to do only fueled his jealousy even more.
But what was he jealous about? The fact that Chan had gotten close to you and shared smiles with you or the fact that you got the chance to dance with Chan on one of the biggest stages to the dance that they both choreographed together? It was confusing. 
The doors opened as all your heads turned to face the entrance. “Oh, you guys are early.” Soobin said while placing his bag on the ground. “Chan and Y/N, did you finish learning the duo dance?” Soobin asked the two as you nodded in sync. 
“Okay that’s great. Rest for a week or perfect your previous dances, anything works. After that, we will work on the group dance. The final project before we put everything together.” Soobin explained as everyone nodded. “1 month left,” Jisung muttered to Chan who stood beside him. 
“It felt like we just found out about Riki’s replacement just yesterday.” Chan said as Jisung agreed. “You guys are so extra,” Changmin said with a sigh. “Goodluck on practice, I’m heading to the store nearby. I haven’t eaten anything and I’m starving.” Changmin said while grabbing backpack and leaving the gymnasium. 
Jisung and Chan chuckled at his sudden appearance and walked over to Riki who sat on the edge of the stage as always. 
“So…? When are you getting your cast removed?” Jisung asked, gaining Riki’s attention. “Not sure. He hasn’t given me a date yet,” He responded dryly. “You know, Y/N isn’t that bad of a person. I guess I was just being selfish.” He said while smiling softly at the memories from the past few days.
“Really? I figured.”  Riki said while reaching for his water bottle in his backpack. He was acting drier than usual but Chan and Jisung didn’t bother asking why. Instead, they shared a confused look to each other and shrugged it off.
“Oh! Also, you know about the group dance? Who will be my partner now since it’s quite different from before.” Jisung asked while leaning on the edge of the stage. “Most likely Y/N. She’s replacing Riki’s spot anyway.” Chan responded as Riki nodded. “Either that or Soobin may change the setup.” Riki said, then took a sip from his water bottle.
“Ah, okay. I’ll see you guys later. I’m going to practice my parts.” He explained as he pushed himself up from the ledge. “Goodluck, don’t injure yourself like this guy.” Chan teased while pointing at Riki who glared at him as Jisung laughed. “Promised.” He said and began his stretches.
“I’m going to head to class,” Riki said while grabbing his backpack and crutches. “What? The bell doesn’t go till’ 15 minutes.” Chan said in confusion. “I have unfinished homework to complete.” He said and left the gymnasium without letting Chan respond. Weird.
He had no homework to complete but he couldn’t last in that gym any longer. It felt like the moment at the doctor’s office all over again and he hated it. He hated the suffocating feeling of jealousy but couldn’t say anything about it. Why? Because he didn’t want to lose his best friend.
STEP 10.
“What’s wrong?” His older sister said as she took a seat beside him. The comfort of the couch engulfed her figure as she held back a relieved sigh. “What do you mean?” He asked Konon as she scoffed. “You’ve been looking down ever since you arrived home. Is it because of the competition next month? I thought you accepted the truth last month…” She said as a frown appeared on her face.
“It’s not that.” He said while placing a pillow on top of his legs. “Then what is it?” She asked and turned to face him completely. He hesitated. “Riki, what is it? If it’s not something you want to tell me then that’s okay.” She reassured him as he sighed. “What does it feel like to have feelings for someone? Or a better way of putting this—What do I if I think I have feelings for someone?” He asked in embarrassment. 
“You like someone?!” She exclaimed, shocked. “Shh, why are we yelling?!” He whisper-shouted and searched the living room for anybody but there was nothing. “Okay, maybe I do, but I’m not sure! That’s why I’m asking you for help.” He explained as she nodded in understanding.
“Okay… Let’s get straight to the point, was there ever a moment when you wanted to, you know, kiss her the moment you laid eyes on—” She asked as Riki rushed to cover her mouth. His head dropped low as his skin flushed a dark shade of red, earning a muffled laugh from his older sister. 
“So it really happened. I was only kidding, Riki.” She teased as he removed his hand from her mouth. “Can’t believe my younger brother is in love…before me…” She said in disbelief. “Who’s the lucky person? Tell me more!” She sat up straight, more intrigued than ever. 
“It’s someone on my dance team. She’s the one who replaced my spot in the competition so I’ve been teaching her the dances recently. But, we hated each other at the start.” He explained, leaving Konon to nod. “So, enemies to lovers basically?” She asked as he shrugged. “I guess, I don’t know. But ever since then, I mean you could say I fell for her? Believe what you want.” He said as Konon laughed.
“Okay… What’s holding you back from confessing?” She asked. 
“My best friend.”
“Oh, well that’s new…” She awkwardly rubbed the nape of her neck unsure of what to say next. “Why’s that?” He looked at her then down at his hands. “I think he likes her? I’m not even sure if she likes me back in the first place. They seem way closer than we do.” He said a slight frown present on his face.
“Worst thing of it all, I don’t want to do anything that’ll make me lose my friend, you know?” He said and looked over at Konon. “No, I understand you completely.” She took his hands in hers. “I say… Confess. You never know how wrong that can go.” She suggested as Riki shook his head.
“It won’t end well, trust me. It’s fine, I’ll just push down these feelings until they’re gone.” He said while getting up from his seat. Konon grabbed his hand, pulling him back down into his seat. “How would you know that if you wouldn’t bother trying it out?” She asked as Riki looked at her in annoyance.
“It just won’t go well.” He said. “At least try?” She pleaded as he stared into her eyes. “No promises,” he said and grabbed his crutches to leave. At least she tried.
“Alright, the lineup is quite uneven.” Soobin said while pacing down the line of dancers. “Jisung, who was your partner previously?” Soobin questioned as Jisung pointed at Haerin. “Okay… Who doesn’t have a solo performance in this competition?” He asked. Yunjin raised up her hand, gaining his attention.
“Since the numbers are uneven, you can have a solo part in this. Technically you’ll be leading the group, kinda?” He shrugged as Yunjin smiled. She’d be noticed for a bit at least. “Then we’re all set!” He cheered with a clap. “Jisung and Y/N, you two can be partners. The rest stay the same.” Soobin instructed and walked over to the stereo, playing the song associated with this dance. 
“Let’s get to work!” Soobin said as everyone nodded.
Jisung hasn’t seen you dance up-close before. Observing from afar, he noticed how Riki and Chan hated you at the beginning but now it was different. You all seemed like friends and to be honest he wanted to join in on the small group too but was too shy to communicate with you.
So, after hearing that he had a chance of being paired up with you he was thrilled. This could be his chance to finally communicate with you after chickening out everytime he built up the courage to. 
You could say, he looked up to you a lot.
“Is this right?” You asked, bringing him back to reality. “Is what right?” He asked with a confused expression. You showed him your attempt of doing a certain move in the choreography. “Oh, yes that’s correct. If you can, you can try extending your arms a little more just for a bigger effect. Can I adjust one of them?” He asked, seeking permission first. 
You nodded as he reached for your left arm, extending further. “There, much better.” He complimented. “Now try putting it all together.” He said and you did as told. He hummed in satisfaction and gave you a smile. “Here, take a break for now. You seem a little tired.” He suggested as you nodded. “Okay, tell me when you’re ready to continue.” Then you walked away to your backpack.
First of all, you were a very nice person. Very determined as well. This might be one of his favourite performances yet.
Riki sat on the floor, legs outstretched due to his cast. Watching you and Jisung train together only reminded him of the conversation with his older sister yesterday. Should he really tell you how he felt and face the chance of rejection or keep everything to himself and most likely watch you end up with Chan? He didn’t know which one to choose, they all sounded like terrible options and the outcomes didn’t make them any better.
To distract his mind, he pulled out unfinished work that he had to complete before his morning classes. It was a perfect distraction in his opinion. Chan was absent from school today which made his day survivable. Not that he didn’t like Chan anymore, he just couldn’t stand the sight of you and him smiling at each other left and right. 
Reflecting on the conversation from yesterday, Riki was definitely jealous and definitely had feelings for you. There was no other way he didn’t. All the signs were obvious and explained why he felt like that whenever you were around him. Did it really take him that long to figure it out?
The snapping of his pencil pulled him out of his thoughts. The previously sharpened tip now shattered and jagged made him sigh. He didn’t have any spare ones on him nor did he have a pencil. Maybe finishing unfinished work wasn’t the best idea.
There was one month before the final competition and eventually that month became 2 weeks. He didn’t know how to feel. He was over the whole situation but he still felt worried. Worried for you and your performances. Were they going to go well or would they be a complete disaster? 
He ran his fingers through his hair while letting out a heavy sigh. Maybe he should confess to get rid of part of his stressful thoughts, right? 
“A penny for your thoughts?” Your voice suddenly came from out of nowhere as you took a seat beside him. He fought back the heat that rushed up to his face and dropped his hand into his lap.
“I’m fine,” He said, lying straight through his teeth. “Really? You looked like you were stressed out over something.” You brought your knees up to your chest with your arms. “Are you really, really, really sure?” You said while peering over at him. 
“I’m fine, don’t worry. What about you?” He asked and looked at you. The two of you made eye contact for a few moments before you looked away and sighed. His gaze was too intense for you. During those few seconds, you could sense the sincerity behind his question. 
You were really worried about your performances but tried to take your mind off of them many times. It was a big opportunity and you didn’t want to disappoint anyone. 
“I’m just worried about the performances. Like, I don’t want to disappoint anyone especially you since, you know, you choreographed everything. It was also originally your spot which only makes me feel even worse if I mess it up.” You ranted as he listened. 
“Don’t worry about me. You’re not upsetting anyone if you make one tiny mistake on stage. It’s the same as practicing. Is this your first performance?” He asked and you nodded. “Then don’t worry too much about it. Take it in as an experience.” He said, looking at you as you did the same. 
“Break is over, let’s get back on track!” Soobin exclaimed as he walked back into the gymnasium—no one noticing that he left in the first place. You two stared in each other’s eyes for a brief moment before he ushered you to head back to the centre. 
“Goodluck, I’ll be here if you need anything.” He said while giving you a slight smile. You smiled back at him and jogged over to the forming group of dancers. 
It felt like he was forgetting something after you had left. It wasn’t until you began practicing with Jisung again when he remembered what he was supposed to say. His confession. He was so caught up in reassuring you that everything would be fine that he even forgot about the most important thing. 
Seems like it’ll just have to wait. 
He began packing up his belongings as you walked over to him. “It’s finally over. But there’s still rehearsals.” You whined and grabbed your backpack. You were tired of practicing to the same 4 songs for the past 3 months. You could most likely guess every single one of them by the first 0.1 second. 
“You know what, let’s go somewhere.” You suggested as Riki looked up at you confused. “Like where?” He asked but you shrugged, unsure of where to go too. “Let’s just walk—or hop… and see whenever it takes us.” You said as he sent you a glare, causing you to laugh. “I didn’t mean it that way, I swear.” You defended.
You both followed random paths, majority of the time hoping you wouldn’t get lost. “Are you sure this is trustworthy?” He asked as you stopped in your tracks. “Honestly, I’ve never been down here but it’s cool.” You said while looking at the small river nearby. “Look!” You pointed at the stream of water. 
“Doesn’t it have a nice flow?” You asked as you both walked over to it. “Yeah, I guess.” His disgust for nature was slowly going away the more you forced him outside. You looked over at him as he looked back in confusion. You seemed like you had something to say but judging by the scenery he already knew what it was.
“It reminds you of dancing, doesn’t it?” He asked, causing you to crack a smile and nod. “You know me so well,” you stood up from your spot on the grassy floor and dusted off your pants for any excess grass.
“Okay. What now?” You asked the boy behind you. He shrugged, “I don’t know.” He said. “Yeah, I don’t have anything either. What time is it?” You asked and he shrugged once more. “My phone’s dead in my backpack.” He said. “Yeah, mine too…Okay, let’s pray that we get home safely.” You said, all hope gone from your body. 
You walked past him as he fought back the urge to stop you but failed miserably. “Wait,” he called, hand holding your wrist. “What?” You asked as he avoided eye contact with you. Silence fell between you both as he hesitated uttering the words he’s been waiting to say for the past week only to have to wait longer once they didn’t come out. 
“Nevermind, it’s nothing.” He said while softly letting go of your wrist. “Oh okay, then let’s go.” You mumbled, trying to clear the awkward atmosphere. Half of you wished what he stopped you for was what you thought it was—a confession. But to your dismay, it ended up being nothing. 
The walk back wasn’t any better. It was filled with silence as you both thought back to the supposed conversation from earlier. His thoughts were filled with him confessing while your’s were filled with different thoughts. If he confessed, would anything good happen? And did he even like you the same way you liked him?
STEP 11.
Today was the day you’ve been worried about. It was finally D-Day. To be honest, it felt like you and Riki hated each other’s guts a day ago but now that you got along you weren’t sure how to feel. One thing you were sure about were your feelings for him. 
You always tried to make it less obvious in case he didn’t feel the same way to save yourself the embarrassment and always covered it up with silly remarks. Ones that you didn’t mean after your so-called enemies arc.
You wiped your sweaty hands on your pants out of nervousness. The crowd was huge, that’s for sure. One peek through those curtains was enough to spot around 400 people. 
“You’ll be fine, I swear.” Riki said while using his crutches to get to you. “There’s so many people out there, are you sure we’re seeing the same venue?” You said anxiously while reaching for the dark red curtains once more. “Yes but looking outside will only make things even more nerve wracking.” He said while using one hand to close the curtains before you could fully open them.
“I don’t get how you’ve done this many times.” You said as he laughed at your words. “I’m not sure either.” He said, laughter dying down. “Here,” he let go of his crutches and placed both of his hands on your shoulders to direct you to the nearest chair. “Take a seat for now to calm down. You’ll do perfect during your first two solo performances. The other two are with other team members so you’re not alone.” He reassured you. 
He struggled to balance on his non-injured foot and you took notice of it. “Don’t let go of your crutches before you end up falling to your death,” you scolded while picking them up off the ground and heading them to him. “Right,” he said, taking note of your words. 
He looked at the time on the clock that hung above you. “You’re on in 5 minutes. I’ll be backstage in the meantime cheering you on, okay?” He asked as you nodded. The thought of having to go on stage under 5 minutes was terrible. You watched Riki exit the stage, heading through the doors that led backstage and exhaled a shaky breath. 
“Are you nervous?” The voice from the boy in front of you asked. “Pretty much yeah.” You bounced your leg anxiously as Chan chuckled. “You’ll be fine. I overheard your’s and Riki’s conversation a bit and he’s right. You’ll do great during your solo performances.” He said and you smiled slightly. 
“Thank you, I—”
“On call, the first performance starts in 3 minutes.” A member of the stage crew said. “That’s you,” he said and gave you a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll see you for our performance, goodluck.” He waved goodbye and you did the same.
Everything went well during rehearsals but you were still nervous. You were now performing to a way bigger group of people than before. There being recruiters who would evaluate your performances as well only added to your nervousness. 
You sat there overthinking for too long judging by how fast those 3 minutes went by.  Next thing you know, you were standing on stage as everyone in the crowd awaited the start of your performance. 
All you had to do was leave everyone satisfied and impressed. And so you did. Although it wasn’t as good as other contestants, you were still glad you were placed on the podium for solo dances.
You were thankful for the silver medal that hung around your neck. You ran over to backstage, 30 minutes left to spare before the duo dances began. Riki sat on one of the seats near the monitor that showcased all the dances on stage. He had a dorky smile on his face. One that you mirrored as you ran over to him in joy and pulled him into a hug immediately.
Once you let go of him, you held the medal higher for him to get a closer look. “I saw it, I watched the whole thing.” He said with a proud smile. Although you had only 3 months to learn all of the dance moves to these 4 songs, you learned them perfectly. There wasn’t one mistake he could spot on the monitor when watching you. Were you always this good at everything?
Seeing you in the medal that he previously claimed to be his while showcasing your beautiful smile was enough to set him off the edge. But this time, there wasn’t a feeling of anger nor jealousy. He’s not sure what came over him and made him feel any of these feelings but next thing you know, you felt his lips on yours, leaving you both in shock. 
You both pulled away from each other, eyes wide. “Wait, I’m sorry for that.” He apologized immediately, embarrassment fueling his body. You cupped his face or cheeks with your hands as he looked back up at you. 
You searched his eyes for any signs of regret from his previous action but there was nothing. Instead, his eyes glanced down at your lips for a brief moment yet you still caught it and smiled. With no more time to waste, you immediately pressed your lips against his once more. 
If this was what he’s been imagining for everytime he saw you, he sure didn’t blame himself. Although there was no verbal confession between you two, the act of a kiss spoke more than you two ever could.
But not for all.
Too focused on what was going on between the two of you made you both unaware of the boy who stood at the entrance. All he wanted was to tell you congratulations on the medal you had earned, not you earning your first kiss with his best friend—the boy you probably had feelings for.
With 20 minutes left to spare before his performance with you, he walked away from the doors, heading towards the nearest window for fresh air. All he had to do was pull himself together to be able to face you again. That wouldn’t be so hard on his part. Although he felt terrible from what he’s seen, he knew there was never a chance of you liking him back.
For most of his time knowing you, he was mean and ignorant. You two only became ‘friends’ recently but he still doesn’t know why he fell for you so fast. It was odd. But still, he’s happy for his friend. From the looks of it, he seemed to be head over heels for you since that day in P.E. class. 
It was quite obvious but he only played along instead of embarrassing him further.
You and Riki pulled away from each other silly smiles plastered on both of your faces. “You know… Do I still have to verbally confess my feelings to you even after that?” He asked as you laughed. “I guess not unless you really want to. But also, you should really start a habit of using some sort of lip balm or something.” You teased as his hand flew up to his lips in a haste. 
You let out a laugh at his reaction and let go of the sides of his face. “I was only kidding, don’t worry.” You said as he rolled his eyes. “I was going to do a silly pickup line on you but I don’t think you deserve that anymore.” He said while taking a seat on the nearest chair. 
“Wait, now I’m curious. What was it?” You asked but he shook his head and refused to respond. “No, honestly. I was only kidding, I swear!” You pleaded as he sighed. “I guess you deserve to hear it,” he started as you became intrigued. 
He pointed at your medal as you looked down at it then back at him in confusion. “Notice how you got a 2nd place medal? That’s because I’m the one for you.” He said and you looked at him in disgust.
That’s what you begged for? He stared back at you, no embarrassment shown. How was that even possible after saying an atrocious sentence like that one? 
“If you just asked me out I hope you know I’m planning on saying no.” You said as terror appeared on his face. “Oh come on, that was a good pickup line! I thought about it once you received your medal, see I’m a really creative person.” He complimented himself, causing you to fake gag. 
“Creative where? That was traumatizing. Never do that again please.” You said as he scoffed. “As if you could do any better,” he said while crossing his arms. “Let’s not go back to that arc, it wasn’t our best one to be honest.” You suggested with a tight-lipped smile. 
“Oh right. I forgot all about that.” He said and laughed awkwardly. “Anyways, I’m sure you have to go soon, right? At least 15 minutes passed with us talking, and well, you know.” He said, becoming slightly embarrassed and flustered at the memory. “You’re cute and yet so childish,” you teased with a smile. 
“Am not?!” He argued.
“You quite literally are…Did you not hear the ‘pickup’ line you told me a few moments ago?” You said in disbelief.
“Hey, in my defense I warned you before I even said it.” He said as you nodded in a teasing way. “Yeah, yeah, okay.” You patted him on the shoulder, showing him that you ‘believed’ him even if he did warn you. Teasing him was quite fun.
“On call, duo performances start in 5.” The same member in the stage crew from earlier said. “Oh well, I’ll see you later.” You told him and waved goodbye. He smiled and wished you good luck while waving goodbye all at the same time. 
Although it took quite a while, it was all worth confirming his feelings in the end. If there was something he learned during these three months, it was definitely these new feelings and his love for you and only you.
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