#I am also so stressed welp

[thelastconfessor]

Spain’s line up against Germany

[gatorinator]

Can God translate me. Just for like 3-5 business days. I just need a little break—I’ll come back I promise.

[lynaferns]

The Forest On The Other Side

Chapter 1: I want to go home.

Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]

A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...

Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.

This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.

I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.

AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.

The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.

Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.

Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.

Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.

CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.

Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)

Welp.

Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.

We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.

Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.

It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.

Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.

I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.

There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.

And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.

I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.

I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.

I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-

I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-

They're getting closer.

I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.

...

...

...

Where am I?

Fuck.

Where am I?

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

…

—

Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.

...

I'm going to disappear.

...

For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-

...

There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...

What's this?

I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.

In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.

Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?

A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.

It's still there.

…

For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.

...

...And the rock? It's not there.

I go back and look from inside the portal.

The rock is there.

...

I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?

Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.

Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.

...

Welp.

I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.

I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?

A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.

...

I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.

...

Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!

Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.

This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.

*cling*

...?

I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.

There's nothing inside.

?

There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.

*...*

Nothing.

I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.

—

I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.

*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.

Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...

“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”

“-HEEEEELLO!”

“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.

“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”

“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.

“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.

It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”

He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”

“Yeah- but- WHY?”

“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”

“...What?”

“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.

“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.

“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”

“…”

“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”

“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”

“...” “No idea!”

“...”

“...”

I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”

“...” “You don't seem like it.”

*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”

He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.

“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...

“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”

He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.

“um...”

“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.

I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”

“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”

“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.

“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”

“...”

“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”

I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”

“...Consequences...?”

“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”

“...”

“...”

“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.

“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.

“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.

I shrugged.

“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”

“...”

“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.

“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”

“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”

I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.

“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.

“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”

He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”

“You're still not my friend.”

“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”

“Hm?”

He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”

“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.

“Come with me!”

“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.

—

Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.

“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.

“Do you want us to paint something!?”

“Not really...”

“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”

“Nah.”

“...And in star leaves-?”

“I don't want to paint, Sun.”

“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”

“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.

—

He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”

“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.

“Oh... well, theeen-”

—

We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”

“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.

“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.

“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.

“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.

—

“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.

“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.

“He's a little rascal!”

“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.

—

“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”

“...” “...no, pass...”

“…”

—

“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.

“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.

“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”

“No...”

“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.

“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.

“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.

—

“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.

“Yeah, I see.”

“We call 'em Adoquín!”

“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”

*THUMP!*

“…”

The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.

Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.

“...” Alright.

—

“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”

I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”

“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.

“To... I don't know, pine cones?”

“...You don't look very convinced.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.

He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.

We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.

I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.

“…” I nod.

We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.

“…”

*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”

“…”

“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”

“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.

“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”

“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.

We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.

“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-

*rush*

“........eh?”

A rope.

A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.

“.......”

What?

…

He said he knew a better place.

No. It can't be this.

“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...

It can't be.

A better place.

He can't be referring to this.

A better place.

A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.

“Can you put your foot in?!”

“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”

“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”

“..............”

“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"

… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”

“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.

I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”

“Are you ready!?”

“Yes!”

“Okay!”

He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”

“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.

We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.

…

I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.

“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”

“…”

“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...

“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.

“...” “Well, I do.”

“…”

“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.

“…”

“...” “What brings you to the forest?”

“...” Really? “I got lost.”

“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”

“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”

“...” “Only that?”

“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?

“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.

“...” “What?”

“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”

“Cycles?”

“Mhm” He nods.

“...What are cycles?”

Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.

“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”

“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”

“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”

“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”

“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.

“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.

“What do you mean they left-?”

“They 'left'!”

“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”

“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.

It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”

“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.

“...okay. What is this forest?”

“My home! And the home of many other animals.”

“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”

“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.

“Oh... and who's that someone?”

“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.

“Um-”

“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!

“eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.

“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”

“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”

“You can keep some of mine!”

“No, it's okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You suuuuure??” He insist.

“Yeees.”

He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.

“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”

“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”

“Don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”

“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”

“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.

“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”

“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.

“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”

“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.

“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”

“Comics?”

“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”

“...It's a book with drawings?”

“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”

“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”

“I didn't bring them anyway.”

“Do you normally carry them around?”

“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”

“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”

“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.

“Why did you stop coming?”

“...That's personal.”

“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”

I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”

“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”

“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”

“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”

“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.

“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.

*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *

…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.

…

Okay.

I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.

…

—

It's been a few hours now.

…

I can't sleep, I simply can't.

…

It doesn't look like he's coming back.

*creek*

…?

*rin*

*tap tap, creek*

Sun?

“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.

*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*

*rin dirrin*

If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.

*dirriring dirring*

I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.

…

The glow is gone.

*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*

It's on the roof.

…

*tap, tap, tap...*

It moves again.

*rin *

…

It sounded on the other side of the wall.

…

…

“nghehe...”

It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.

…

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no no no no.

I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.

*creeek*

It came from the door. It's trying to get in.

*rin*

The trapdoor.

*rin dirring*

Where was the trapdoor?

*creek creeeek*

I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.

*tap tap ring dirring*

…!

I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.

*rin, creeek...*

…

Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-

…

I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-

…

It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-

…

A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.

…

I slowly peek out from behind the tree.

*rin*

…

It sounded above me.

…

I don't look up, I run.

“nnghehee...” He laughs.

He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.

I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.

“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.

“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.

I throw a rock at him “AGH!”

The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.

“...”

“...”

…

I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.

…

…

…?

Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?

“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.

“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.

“Fïer pehgïer.” Sun responds.

“...” Moonman remains silent again.

“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.

“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.

“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”

…

The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.

“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.

“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”

“...” There's no response from the moon man.

“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”

“...”

…

The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.

“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.

…

He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.

—

…

…

…

A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.

…

My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.

“Oof...” Hurts.

*creek, tap tap tap tap*

Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.

*creek... *

The door opens.

Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.

“ah?”

“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”

“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.

“Mm?”

“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.

…

He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”

“...”

“No?”

“...”

“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”

“...” I want to leave.

“You don't like them either...?”

“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.

“...”

“*snif... *”

“u-um...!”

“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.

“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”

I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.

“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.

“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.

“...W-what? Um...”

“...” *hic, hic *

“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”

“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”

“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”

“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”

“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.

“I want to go home...”

He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.

“...”

“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.

“...” I nod my head.

—

…

We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.

…

Sun has been quiet the entire time.

He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”

“...”

I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.

A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.

…

Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.

I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.

...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.

I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.

…

The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.

…

…

…

I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.

—

…

…

…

“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.

…

It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.

…

My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.

I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.

*rin, diring diring*

“...”

I open it.

…

It's empty.

[a-closet-emo]

Why Am I Like This?

4043 words, GrayGhost, written for @duchi-nesten's prompt for last year's phic phight that I never posted on here 😭. Welp, had to get it done before this year's phight. Enjoy!

“You know how there were rumors a while ago that I had a girlfriend?” he asked, and, Ancients, did his voice have to crack on that last word?

“No need to be so embarrassed, Danny-boy! We already know that you’re dating the Red Huntress!” his dad bellowed.

What.

“Yes,” his mom said curtly, “ we do.”

Or

Danny’s brain was short-circuiting.

How was he supposed to explain that he’s dating Valerie Gray, who was definitely not a vigilante ghost hunter, without giving away that he was definitely not a half-ghost vigilante ghost hunter, too?

He got a feeling that Clockwork was laughing at his pain.

Danny set his fork down carefully, grateful that tonight’s dinner wasn’t trying to kill him. He didn’t need that tonight, not when his plans were already going to be so stressful. 

“So,” he started, and immediately three pairs of eyes zeroed in on him. His parents were looking at him expectantly, like they’d just been waiting for him to speak up which was… not a good sign, but Jazz was giving him her encouraging-yet-I’ll-be-disappointed-if-you-don’t-do-it look, so he kinda had to follow through now. 

“You know how there were rumors a while ago that I had a girlfriend?” he asked, and, Ancients, did his voice have to crack on that last word? His parents were still waiting for him to get to the point.

“Yes, sweetie?” his mom prompted, her violet eyes shining with feigned nonchalance as she picked at her plate. At least she was pretending to be casual; his dad was openly staring at him again. He inwardly cringed, remembering the last time his dad thought he had a girlfriend.

He coughed and started rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, well,” Why did it have to be so embarrassing to tell your parents about your love life! “There’s this girl, you know. And she’s super kickass and fiery but also determined and loyal and compassionate? Uh, sorry, you already know her–”

Suddenly his dad clapped him on the back with enough force, ghost-enhanced physique or not, to nearly make him faceplant into his mashed potatoes. “No need to be so embarrassed, Danny-boy! We already know that you’re dating the Red Huntress!” his dad bellowed.

What.

“Yes,” his mom said curtly, “we do.”

Danny sent a look Jazz’s way that was more a cry for help than anything else, but she was just as bewildered. Their mom sighed. 

“After ghost fights,” she said, “Jack and I still hang around the area just to collect extra samples or run a few numbers while the ectoplasm’s still fresh. But we also see you there, sweetie, talking with the Red Huntress or even riding around with her on her board going who-knows-where.”

Danny’s brain was short-circuiting. He was half tempted to check if dinner had been contaminated with ectoplasm, after all. 

The reason he was hanging around with Val after ghost fights was because he had fought alongside her during the fight. And somehow, instead of figuring out his identity, his parents… figured out his love life? Sort of? He wanted to think it was a stroke of good luck, or - more likely - another case of his bad luck to be added to the file. How was he supposed to explain that he’s dating Valerie Gray, who was definitely not a vigilante ghost hunter, without giving away that he was definitely not a half-ghost vigilante ghost hunter, too? He got a feeling that Clockwork was laughing at his pain.

“What?” he says a bit too cheerfully, “No -pfft- come on, I’m not dating some masked ghost hunter! I was just there after ghost fights because, uh…”

His dad guffawed before slapping him on the back again. “You’re a riot, son! Maddie and I once saw you exit a janitor’s closet in your school after a fight with ol’ Red, the both of you looking pretty flustered.” The big man was waggling his eyebrows at Danny. 

Danny wanted to phase through his chair and into the floor.

“Of course, we all know that proximity to ghosts and ghost fights is very dangerous,” his mom was all business. “If that girl is putting you at risk, sweetie, we’re going to need to have a very long talk with her. And you’ll need more combat lessons!” she added cheerfully. “I know you’re afraid of the ghosts, but if this relationship is turning your interests toward them, then…!”

And that was when Jazz intervened. “Mom, Dad! You’re embarrassing him, look!” She went on, “This is not the kind of conversation that is conducive to a healthy psyche, especially not when the subject is so touchy among boys his age. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants to leave the scenario you’ve created.”

He so owed her. “Yep! I’ll be going now, bye.” And if he used a little of his ghostly speed to get out of the dining room and up the stairs faster, no one would know. Except for Clockwork. 

Clockwork was definitely laughing at him.

–

Danny started eavesdropping, invisible outside his parents’ door, in time to hear his dad sigh loudly with relief. 

“I told you he couldn’t be dating Valerie, Maddie! The girl’s way out of his league!”

Danny had to hold back a scoff. Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad. 

“And the Red Huntress isn’t?” his mom challenged. 

Danny pouted. Et tu, Mom? (Aha! A Shakespeare reference. He was so going to actually get higher than a passing grade this semester.) He was so tempted to barge in and loudly declare that he was, in fact, dating both of those girls. That girl. He sighed. There’s the problem. 

“Even if she is his age - and so help me if she’s older - we’ve seen them meet up before and after ghost fights!” He could hear his mom’s light footsteps as she paced the length of the room. “What happens when ‘before’ or ‘after’ becomes ‘during’? You’ve seen how aggressive she is sometimes! She puts him in danger!”

Danny heard the creaking of a bed as his dad flopped down onto it with a sigh. “She’s probably swept him off his feet, too.” Okay, so maybe Val has rescued him a few times, even carried him bridal style once, but he’s saved her, too!

His dad continued, regardless of Danny’s wounded pride, “I know how hard it is to resist a force of a woman.” 

Danny’s thoughts came to a halt. What was with that tone…

He heard the shuffling of sheets. “Speaking from experience, are we?” his mom asked with a chuckle. 

“You’d know it, you were there,” his dad replied - and nope! That was about enough for Danny. He was glad his parents had a happy marriage but he did not need to hear how happy it was. 

He retreated to his room, head buzzing with the mess he and Val had gotten themselves into. 

Crud.

–

Danny had been trying for a week. 

He’d flunked his English paper (the assignment wasn’t about Caesar, go figure), and he’d been dodging Valerie all week. A few months ago, he would’ve meant dodging her blasts and hits, but now he meant trying to get out of hanging out with her or - Ancients forbid - having her come to his house. It also meant that by virtue of not wanting to make Valerie feel like she was being excluded, he couldn’t have Sam or Tucker over, either. He was starting to lose his mind all alone in the house. And no, he was not going to Jazz for help about it.

Look, it was an embarrassing problem, okay? His parents disapproved of the relationship they thought he had with the ghost-fighting alter ego of his girlfriend because they thought it was reckless and put him in danger. And they knew about it because they’d basically walked in on their more… private moments. Letting them actually meet with Red and lecturing her on how to properly protect him and save him like the damsel in distress they thought he was for being so afraid of ghosts this whole time was a total no-go - he’d never hear the end of from Val!

He was trying to figure out why this whole situation felt so familiar when Jazz walked in on him pacing the length of his room. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. “Can it. I don’t wanna hear it, Jazz.”

She pouted a little at that, then huffed. “If you’re not going to listen to my advice about healthy communication in all relationships in your life, just let me say that our parents are stubborn to a fault. If they latch onto an idea, they need solid proof to discount it.” She shot him A Look. “You know that better than anyone.”

She turned on her heel with a little ‘harrumph!’ and disappeared from his doorway, her orange hair swinging as she went. 

Danny sighed, and tried to get back into brainstorming convincing arguments against his parents. He’d tried to completely deny that anything had happened between him and the Red Huntress, claiming that in this freaky town, it could’ve been ghosts! (You know, the ol’ reliable). He’d told them that at most, the Red Huntress was just a friend. Then his dad started to ask him why he blushed whenever they brought it up and started to tease him and… he lost that argument pretty soon after. He went for a partial denial after that one. He wasn’t dating the Red Huntress, they’d just made out a couple of times. Sort of like a fakeout-makeout, even. That one made his parents angry. “Son,”  his dad had said with a distinct tone of fatherly disappointment, “I did not raise you to play with people’s feelings. If you’re not dating the Huntress, then–” “Just kidding! Haha, I meant that we weren’t dating at the time! Wait. I mean, we’re not dating!” Danny resisted the urge to put his head in his hands. That went well. He’d even considered outright telling them that he was dating Valerie and showing them proof, but he shut that idea down. What if they thought he was a two-timer (ugh.). What if they put two and two together for once and figured out that she was the Red Huntress? And he didn’t want to drag Valerie as proof over just to have her watch him either be very awkward with his parents or argue with them. Valerie had too much on her plate for her to be wasting her time in his family drama.

Wait, what was it that Jazz had said about ‘proof’? That his parents were stubborn and needed it to be convinced of something. Well, duh. They were scientists. Sure, though they had definitely dropped the idea a while ago, they used to be extremely biased against ghosts. They held onto the idea that all ghosts were evil so stubbornly that Danny was legit afraid to be around them in the beginning. At least they’d warmed up to Phantom lately. 

But what proof did his parents need? They actually had too much proof on their side, evidence that Danny couldn’t refute. 

Something green glinted in his peripheral vision, His head whipped around to look at it, and he found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror. In his stress, his eyes had turned that otherworldly green, a shade that seemed so out of place with his regular complexion and black hair. 

Oh, right. There was something else that his parents were being stubborn about. 

(Maybe it was related? Jazz could look into their family’s seemingly genetic stubbornness, but – she probably already has several papers on it.) 

He sighed. He didn’t need to convince his family that he was dating Valerie, not the Red Huntress (because, hey, they were right for once. Sort of. And he didn’t want to ask Val to fake-date him or something, it’d just be too complicated). He needed proof to convince them that dating her was not putting him at risk.

He ran a hand across his face, and in the reflection he could see that his eyes had smoothly transitioned from green back to blue. He sighed. He was going to need to ask his sister for advice on this one.

–

Danny waited until the last second to dodge a glowing green ghostly cube of doom, stepping nonchalantly to the side in midair and watching the Box Ghost’s frustrated reaction with smug satisfaction. But he’s not ignoring the guy just to mess with him. He was just focused on someone else.

“Red!” he hissed. Normally, he’d love to just watch her during combat, because in the fruitloop’s words, she really was good at this, but he needed to talk to her. They were flying higher than some of the buildings around, but his parents were directly beneath them and for all he knew, they’d made a Ghost-Whisper-Detector-Inator or something. 

“Oh, so now you wanna talk!” she replied, the distortion from her helmet making her voice sound more metallic and making her angry tone all the more sharp and unsettling. She grunted as she hefted one of her heavier canons onto her shoulder before taking a shot at the Box Ghost. Danny winced as the projectile hit its mark directly and the poor guy got launched a couple blocks down the road. The two of them sped toward where he’d crashed into a wall and blocked his exits, one of them on either side of him. It was way overkill and the Red Huntress was clearly fuming, but Danny couldn’t resist saying, “Guess you could say we boxed him in.”

He couldn’t tell if the groan that came from the Box Ghost was a result of his injuries or Danny’s pun. 

Red came closer, pressing a finger to his chest. “I’m about ready to box your hide–” 

Danny’s voice cracked as he interrupted her, “Yep! So, can we have this little lovers’ spat over there,” he pointed at a nearby rooftop that was just tall enough to give them some privacy from people on the street, “you know, where my parents won’t see?” He put his hands in the air as he floated away slowly, toward that rooftop. Behind him, he heard Red huff before the telltale humming of her board followed him there. 

As soon as they alighted on the roof, the Red Huntress stored her board away and took off her helmet. Valerie’s long, brown curls billowed in the wind and Danny tried not to stare. The whole Technus-enhanced suit she used to have was cool and all, but it was a little creepy, especially since Technus had been so… involved in their first relationship. He much preferred this suit, made by Tucker and the rest of the team using both Vladco and Fenton Works tech. She crossed her arms. “Start talking, Ghost-boy.”

Danny blinked. That took him back to the good ol’ days of when she was trying to kill him - was he sure Clockwork wasn’t messing with the timestream or something? 

“Right,” he started, “So, sorry for ghosting you this past week.” His eyes widened in alarm. “Pun not intended, pun not intended!” 

She just scoffed and muttered under her breath, “Yeah, right.” But some of the tension left her shoulders, and he could tell that she was holding back a smile. He took it as a sign to continue. He’d been trying to figure out the best way to explain the whole thing, but in the end he just said, “My parents think you and I are dating.”

She cocked an eyebrow at that. “And is that the problem?”

“Sort of.” He reached for her helmet. “You see, they think you,” he gestured to the red helmet in his hands, “are dating me,” he quickly transformed and gestured to his human self. “They think you’re putting me in danger,” he sighed, handing the helmet back to her.

Valerie took the helmet back and his words in slowly. Then she burst into laughter. “They think that I,” she said in between chuckles, “am putting Danny ‘Protector of Amity Park’ and ‘Heir to the Ghost Throne’ Phantom in danger?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Danny groaned. He knew it. He was never going to hear the end of this. She was going to tell the rest of the gang using the groupchat that he was definitely not a part of. 

“So that’s why they’ve been chasing me down all week, too,” she added, calming down.

“They’ve been what?” Danny felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him. He’d been so caught up with trying to keep Valerie free from the stress that his family was causing him that he hadn’t even bothered to check in with her.

She shrugged. “Guess their shouts of ‘Something something my son!’ and ‘Stay away!’ make a lot more sense now. For a moment there, I thought they were tryna run me outta town.” She looked him in the eye. “Is that what it was like for you, y’know,” she said quietly, “before?”

Danny stepped closer to her, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Sorta.” He held her hands through her suit’s gloves and was happy to feel her give him a returning squeeze. “But that was before, and my parents have been harassing you all week. Are you okay?” “They’ve been harassing both of us all week and we just didn’t know it,” she chuckled. “What idiots. I just missed you, is all.”

He sighed. Jazz was right (Jazz was always right), if he’d just communicated with his relationships or something… “Sorry,” he said again. She just nodded. 

“So, what’s your plan?”

–

“You sure you’re okay with telling my parents?” “Oh, yeah, it’s totally fine.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “It’s not like you already revealed my secret identity to my dad and got me in a lot of trouble.”

“Hey!” he protested. “It was one time…” he added guiltily, rubbing the back of his neck.

She grinned and punched his arm playfully. “I know, I know. Not like I didn’t deserve it.” 

He frowned a little. That was true, but he still felt like the action had crossed a line. If anyone knew the importance of a secret identity, it would be him. He reached for her hand and she accepted the gesture, holding his hand as they walked to the edge of the roof. “True,” he said. “You used to be pretty morally Gray.”

“You are lucky I love you, Fenton.”

He stopped just short of being visible to those on the ground and gaped at her. She was shorter than him, but she stood tall with all her confidence and an expectant smirk. There was a challenge in her eyes, even if maybe the effect was kinda thrown off by the blush on her cheeks.

“I love you, too,” he said, and she rolled her eyes as if to say ‘duh.’ “And I love that you won’t whoop my ass in front of my parents? Unless, uh, you wanna show me all fifty shades–”

Valerie pressed a quick kiss to his lips before he could finish that sentence. “I love you, but that won’t help you if I hear the end of that sentence.” Helmet back on, she pulled him by the scruff of his shirt and yanked him onto her board before launching them both off the edge toward his parents. 

“There she is, Maddie! And Danny-boy’s here, too?”

“Red Huntress! Be careful with my son!”

Red guided the board smoothly over until they arrived in front of his parents. 

“Don’t worry, sweetie,” his mom greeted him as soon as he and Valerie stepped onto the street, “we already dealt with the Box Ghost that Phantom just left for us.”

“Now, Maddie,” his dad interjected. “The Box Ghost is small fry! Phantom trusts us with that kind of thing.” “I suppose you’re right,” she conceded with a sigh. And– Danny knew that this truce was the longest one that had ever lasted between Phantom and his parents, and he knew that Jazz had beaten the anti-ghost bias out of them a long time ago, but hearing the way they were so quick to defend and accept his alter ego now was still jarring. In all this time, even if he didn’t realize it, he was already a lot more relaxed about his identity, not caring if he let something suspicious slip or sometimes even being careless on purpose. It’s just that his parents were too stubborn to see it.

“Speaking of the Ghost-boy,” his dad continued, “where’d he go?”

“We’ll deal with that in a sec,” Danny dismissed easily. He gestured to the Huntress behind him. She stepped forward as confident as ever, her hand outstretched for a handshake. “Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend, the Red Huntress.” He watched as his mom accepted the gesture easily, though somewhat stiffly, while his dad’s handshake threatened to pull Red off her feet. “But you also know her from somewhere else.”

On cue, his girlfriend took off her helmet, and Danny continued despite his parents’ shocked gasps, “Val, these are my parents.”

His dad was the first to speak up. “Damon’s girl?” He chuckled with delight. “I knew you were out of Danny’s league!”

“Hey!” he started, but Valerie spoke up for him instead. “If anything, Mr. Fenton, your son’s too good for me,” she said, looking back at him with big, green eyes. He shook his head at her, and put a hand on her shoulder. 

“You can call him, Jack, dear,” his mom said. She’d taken off her hood and goggles and she was smiling softly at the two of them. “And I’m Maddie. It’s nice to really meet you.”

Danny and Valerie smiled at each other. “It’s good that I can tie a face that I trust to your girlfriend, Danny,” his mom said. “But! That doesn’t mean that she can take you around with her to ghost fights if we don’t set some ground rules first.” The older woman turned to Valerie. “I know you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself, but poor Danny’s been afraid of his own shadow since the ghost portal went up, you see.” Danny’s dad nodded. “Gotta make sure our boy is looked after!”

“Actually,” Danny butt in, “I can take care of myself.” His parents went quiet and looked at each other. His heart was pounding.

“It’s good to be confident, Danno! But–”

“No ‘buts’, Dad. I haven’t been completely honest with you guys, and it’s not fair to ask Val to reveal her identity when my reveal is way overdue.” He looked down at the street, missing  the way his mother’s hand traveled to her mouth and his dad’s jaw was set with knowing determination. Valerie’s hand found his and squeezed it reassuringly. He took a deep breath. 

The rings of his transformation glided smoothly over his form. When he opened his eyes to look at his parents, he tensed for just a moment as his vision was filled with the sight of the two of them barrelling toward him. But then they both crushed him in a hug, and all the tension left his shoulders. Even Val was squished in here with him and he laughed wetly. “I guess you guys finally caught the Ghost-boy, huh? Guess you weren’t ex-specter that one!” Then everyone groaned. 

After a while, they all pulled away. 

“Don’t think we won’t be having talks about all of,” his mom gestured vaguely to him, then to themselves, “this.”

“Oh, sonny, there’ll be a lot of talking to do.” The man looked to his wife. “And I’m going to have to edit the ‘birds and the bees’ spiel a bit, eh? We gotta take into account all your ghostly biology, after all!” 

“My ghostly…” Danny turned as green as ectoplasm. Val was as red as her suit.

“Dad!” he whined, making his parents chuckle. 

It wasn’t perfect, but, eh. They’d figure it out.

–

“So, how did you end up thinking that Danny was dating the Red Huntress?” Valerie asked, and Danny choked on his mom’s mac and cheese. He glared at Jazz from across the table, and she tried her best to stifle a laugh. 

“Well…” his mom started, looking at her husband with a knowing smirk on her face. 

“Mom!” he said, accidentally flashing his eyes green. 

“No ghost powers at the table, sweetie,” she replied without missing a beat. He huffed and sat back in his seat. He met Valerie’s eye and she had one eyebrow up in an expression that felt like she thought she should be amused, but she didn’t know why yet. Oh, she was going to regret that fast.

His dad picked up the story, “You know the janitor’s closet on the third floor of Casper High?”

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Red or Blue

Tangerine x reader <3 based on this lovely prompt

it's kind of a slow burn, which is so unlike me, but- welp. whatever? ig? no triggerwarnings anyway, they don't even kiss

masterlist

(he's genuinely so fine i am unwell)

"This is all your fault", you huff, crossing your arms as you stare at the array of candies in front of you.

"How's any of this my fucking fault?", Tangerine seethes, trying to keep his voice down somewhat (which is already better than what he does most times), but hardly succeeding.

"If you'd listened to me, I wouldn't have been backed into that corner in the first place and Lemon wouldn't have had to come save me", you bite back, narrowing your eyes as you pluck a bag of gummies off the shelf. "Ergo, he wouldn't have got hurt."

"Lemon likes the red ones better", Tangerine grunts, taking a step closer to you as an elderly couple turns the corner and pushes their cart into your aisle. "And 'ergo' what the fuck do you mean, love? I wasn't the one to fucking break his leg."

"You don't use ergo like that", you correct, tilting your head back to him as if that nickname hadn't just sent your heart into cardiac arrest. "Also, I'm pretty sure Lemon likes the blue ones just fine."

"Yeah, just fine, but he likes the red ones better, that's the difference."

Tangerine reaches for the bag of red candy and his arm brushes your shoulder, immediately restarting your heartbeat with a deafeaning thump.

"I thought the red ones 'made his stomach feel funny' yesterday", you argue, even though you can already hear the way your resistance is crumbling as his eyes meet yours again, some of that feral fighting instinct in there that you recognise from missions.

"That was the green ones, love", he corrects, plucking the bag of blue candies from your grip and shoving it back into the shelf. You gasp in outrage. "Just listen to me for fucking once and take the goddamn red candy."

You put your hands on your hips and narrow your eyes at him.

"Oh, since when is the fucking problem me listening to you?", you seethe, your lips still parted, ready to shoot a whole tirade at him in the middle of this 24/7 supermarket when you're suddenly interrupted by a hearty chuckle to your left.

Tangerine's head snaps around a nanosecond before yours does.

"I'm sorry", the elderly lady says, her hair white as snow and her arm looped through what you guess to be her husband's. "I didn't want to interrupt you two, I just- I can remember how stressful that was, being young, just married, dealing with the little ones..."

"I'm sure if we'd had these twenty-four hour stores when we'd just had children, we would have stood right there arguing too", her husband laughs.

You blink at them helplessly for a few moments. What the fuck is happening? Hello? Marriage? Kids?

"It gets better", the woman chuckles. "We're happy and stress-free now, aren't we?"

Her husband hums in agreement and presses a kiss to her temple.

"And you look like a lovely couple", she goes on, smiling at you. "You'll manage this stage too."

This stage.

Oh, dear lord.

She's talking about this stage of being married. This stage of having young children. Because you're standing in a 24/7 supermarket candy aisle with Tangerine, arguing about which colour to get for Lemon, which she seems to have interpreted as a nickname for your son.

Your fucking son. Your and Tangerine's son. In your marriage.

"Oh, um", you stutter, brushing a hand through your hair as you stare at the couple, doing your hardest not to cast even a fucking glance Tangerine's way. Your cheeks are stinging with heat. You don't need him to see that. "Actually, we're not-"

"Not married yet", Tangerine interrupts, his hand flexing and clenching around his bag of candy. Any train of thought you'd previously had shatters completely and your head whips around to him after all - is that a faint dust of pink on his cheeks? Is it really what you think it is? Fuck, should your heart be hammering this fast and strong and loud?

"Ah", the woman grins. "How times have changed. We'd had to get married as soon as I was pregnant."

"Are you engaged, then?", her husband asks, raising his eyebrows and smiling pleasantly.

They're so calm. Meanwhile, your heart is doing somersaults in your chest.

"Uh", you say, not all that intelligently.

"Yeah", Tangerine rasps, his voice hoarse somehow. "Few months now."

You blink wordlessly at him. What the actual fuck is he doing? There's no reason to lie. None. You're not undercover.

"That's nice", the woman smiles. "Well, have a good night then."

They're already half-turned away when she looks back over her shoulder.

"Oh, and for those candies", she adds with a conspicuous grin. "Just take both. Let your son decide which he likes better when they're side by side."

You swallow.

"Uh, thanks", you mutter, unsure if they can even still hear. "Good night."

Tangerine drops the bag of candies into your cart. Then he's quiet. And you're quiet.

Too quiet.

For too long.

You don't know what the hell has just happened.

"Tangerine", you breathe, your voice low, and your eyes settle on him slowly. "Since when are we engaged?"

He grunts and drags his eyes away from you, grabbing your bag of blue candies off the shelf again and putting it in the cart with the other one.

"Since fucking never, love", he grumbles, just before his hands close around the handles of the cart. "But I wasn't about to say that, was I?"

"No?", you guess with a frown as you force yourself to move, to trail after him down the aisle. "Because?"

Tangerine turns to look at you like you're mad.

"Because they could've been fucking spies, love", he snarls, as though that's obvious and you're somehow dumb for not thinking of it.

"You're not serious."

He can't be serious.

But he stops the cart and turns to look at you, way too close and way too tall, and if you'd thought you had seen a blush on his cheeks before, it was definitely gone by now. There's that familiar dangerous glint in his eyes instead. Somehow, that puts you more at ease.

"Do you see me bloody laughing?", he seethes, his fingers clenching so hard around the handle that his knuckles turn white.

"I don't think I've ever seen you laugh", you mutter and swallow hard at the way his eyes fixate on yours. "You really made up a whole ass lie for an eighty-year old couple because you thought that they could be spies?"

Tangerine huffs and turns back, pushing the cart with even more ferocity now.

"Yes, love", he grunts.

Your stomach drops. You don't know why.

Instead of dwelling on it, you fiddle with the rings on your hands and fall in step with him.

"Well", you hum. "If you ever do buy me a ring, I don't want it in blue or in red."

[your-absent-father]

Children in writing: my personal pet peeves

Okay, some might know that I work as an elementary school aid, done it on and off since I was 19, so I have the credits lol. Last december I even got my trade school papers for it. I preface this this way bwcause I have worked with shitton of kids, and will in a future. My background also means that I am very quick to notice when people don't interact with kids that much.

Even the savant syndrome kid is still a kid

One thing that annoys the hell out of me is when the 8 year old smart kid character acts like a 32 year old with all the emotional cababilities it entails. Yes, some kids have an higher intelligence, emotional or otherwise, but in the core of them, they are a kid. They get temper tantrums, they are in awe of new discoveries, they love to play in their own way.

For example, the class I'm in now, we have a kid I will call James. James is raised by his grandparents and it shows in everything he does. He is an old soul, always getting striaght As and almost helping the adults in conflicts. James also giggles as I race with him during recess, he sulks like a kid after not getting what he wanted and laughs really hard at fart jokes. He is 8 even if he has an emotional intelligence of an older kid.

Children are sponges, in bad and good

Speaking of James, he is a great example of children being sponges. This 8 year old, he uses terms like "gosh darn it" or "welp, it is what it is", terms I could see his farmer grandpa using. When he is stressed, he poses like a 73 year old looking at a broken tracktor. You can see his grandpa in him clearly.

I want to say it because a lot of people only write like "I am bad because my dad was bad" characters, even though it isn't that simple moat of the time, and children being sponges could be used in so many different ways, and not just bad.

Kids knowing big words doesn't always mean they are smart

This adds into the "kids are sponges" segment. Lot of kids, especially now, pick up different words, some very difficult, but they themselves don't know what they mean. Just today I had to explain what a dictator meant to a kid talking about North Korea. (That is an other thing too I like to add: kids try to explain with their own understandkng of the world what things they don't understand are)

Children's are adults in progress

Thus is a thing that peeves me the most of all, because a lot of people think children are thing entire different entity than adults. I like to explain it in videogame logic, like as a kid you are doing the first levels and progressing trough. You still the same character at the core of it, you just leveled up and got new tricks up your sleeve. Children are humans, they aren't that difficult to comprehend.

kids with disabilities have presonalities

Omg I am such a passionate person towards this, especially because I am specialized in special ed. It annoys me in no end when a special ed kid's presonality is "ehh they are disabled?". Every single special ed kid I have been with have different personalities and likes and dislikes, if they can't show it to you themselves. I don't think I have met two disabled kids (nor adults) with same personalities, even if they have exact same disability.

In the class I am in now, James's best friend is this kid named Jackie. I don't know Jackie's diagnosis but she can't walk straight, and uses multiple walking aids when her legs hurt too bad. She can't talk very well, struggling with her speak. Still, those things weren't the first thing I'd use to describe her. I'd describe her as a dramaqueen, always ready to complain about something, i'd describe her as a sporty, always running after her friends, even if she is much slower than others. I'd describe her as kindhearted, and clingy as she is always ready for a hug. Her disability is n intergal part of her but not everything.

I could complain about this all day. I have worked with kids and adults with disabilities and they have all been do different from each other (like able bodied people). Maybe another post lol.

Okay rant over.

Tldr: Chldren are humans too. Lol

[montcumbry-gaytor]

Heya! Do you mind doing soldier x reader x reaper? The plot can be whatever you want.

Also your writings awesome! Keep up the good work

Everlong

Reaper x Reader x Soldier smut

A/N : I am so sorry for taking absolutely forever to write, it takes me a while to even find inspo to write and then to write in general, ntm I was very busy recently 🙏 again I'm very sorry and hope this comes to your liking

FEM ALLIGNED DNI || MLM / NBLM IS TARGET AUDIENCE

CW : Commanders x Private, Threesome, Good boy, Hinting at overstimulation, Double Penetration.

Getting into Overwatch was not easy, To you at least, but others in your field said it was for you, bitterness in their voices.

You had to get used to field work quickly with Overwatch, Not only the stress of it all, but caring for everyone on the team.

And also being called 'rookie' By Commander Morrison and Commander Reyes.

Behind their backs, you would roll your eyes at the name, knowing full well it would stick until you had done something notable, that or had been around more than the few months you had.

Nonetheless, You found friends, Rather— they found you, Lena specifically, Quick to greet you once you were recruited and quicker to get to know you, being a valuable asset on the field she was on a lot of missions.

Needless to say, you got along well, and she was the first person outside of your immediate family to know that you were into men.

Those men being your commanders.

( And oh how she teased you )

"I can see why you'd like Jack, A smooth American criminal but, Reyes? He's so grouchy all the time!"

She said, a sinister grin on her peachy lips.

"Keep it down- You make me regret ever telling you."

"Telling her what, Rookie?"

Soldiers voice slyly hummed out from behind you, when you whipped around to look at him, Reyes was close behind him, Peering down at you with a fierce gaze.

"N-Nothing important, Commander."

You jumbled out, Nervously smiling at them both.

"Yea! It was just a bit of playful banter!"

Lena chimed in, her accent carrying her words, your heart nearly leaping out of your chest as Reyes let out a small "Hmph." Behind you.

"Anyways- What was it you needed, Commanders?"

You asked, eyeing them in hopes you didn't do anything wrong, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up.

"You're due for training, Rookie, Figured you'd learn from your Commanders than anyone else."

"Mhm."

Your peers eyed down on you, Reyes' eyebrows furrowed, Intensifying his gaze, though you could swear his lips twitch upward into a smirk for just a second.

"Yes Commanders." You said, your hand flattening and meeting your forehead, Morrison's light chuckle causing your face to flush.

"Meet us in Ten, Got it Rookie?"

Reyes boomed, Prompting you to nod in acknowledgement.

"Good."

And with that your Commanders filed out of the area, Whipping around to eye Lena, Who had a smug grin plastered to her lips.

"Got a date with the Commanders, Aye?"

"Lena!"

You gasped, hands slamming down on the table, Face flushing deeply as she giggled.

"Welp, You better get ready, Pretty yourself up! Bye Y/N!"

She said, Blinking away in a matter of seconds, leaving you to your embarrassment, cursing her in your mind, you stood, rushing to your quarters to get into sparring clothes,

The black snugly fit turtleneck with sleeves that hugged the middle of your forearm slipped over your body, following behind was a grey pair of sweatpants, and your shoes, Jogging out of your quarters as the door shut and locked behind you, Thanks to ATHENA.

You reached the training room in a matter of minutes, As you entered, Your commanders had already been sparring with each other, teetering on who would win as they easily swayed each others attempts.

'I hope it's not them being really hot but their sparring looks really....intimate?'

You thought, eyeing their sweaty bodies counter eachother, Morrison being the first to notice your presence in the room, tapping on Reyes' shoulder to tap out.

"Rookie! Right on time, As I would hope of our new soldier."

Morrison said, walking over to you, Slipping a hand around your shoulders and hooking around your forearm, guiding you to the training mats.

"You'll be sparring Reyes today, Understand?"

"Yes, Commander."

"Good, He won't go easy on you, Remember what we've worked on."

Jack said, winking in your direction as he patted your shoulder, sending you to the mats with Reyes, Who stared expectantly, Arms crossing into themselves.

"This should be fun- You ready, Rookie?"

"Fuck no."

You muttered, Morrison's Light laugh making your ears burn, you felt his eyes burrow into you as you readied yourself.

By the command of Morrison, the sparring began, Reyes jumping to action, Clocking close to your head, Huffing as you blocked it, his opposite hand gripping your wrist and spinning around, the motion making you lightheaded.

He pinned you in a Headlock, Being careful not to choke you, You took action to bend down, your left hand snaking around Reyes' right leg, In swift motion, you bent near backwards, Reyes' Back slamming to the mats with a 'oof' Feeling confidence flutter In your chest as he loudly tapped the mat.

"Nicely done Rookie."

Morrison chuckled, Clapping his hands before kneeling down the grab Reyes off the ground.

"Believe you deserve a reward for your good work."

Morrison's voice hummed close to your ear, your face flushing, you couldn't deny the shiver ran down your spine.

"I-I don't think that's necessary, commander."

You stammered, throwing your hands up in defense, your body stilling as Reyes pressed into your back, breath ghosting your ear.

"You're not as quiet as you think, Private."

He hummed, fingers grazing over the hem of your pants, slipping around to the strings, pulling them tight into your hips, making you gasp.

"I don't understand, Commander-"

"—Glad to know I'm a Ten in your eyes, Rookie."

Morrison hushed you, pressing his hips against yours, His erection prominent through his pants.

"Commanders- I- I dont—"

"Quiet now, Rookie, Don't speak unless spoken to."

Reyes huffed, nuzzling into the crook of your neck, leaving light kisses in his wake, His fingers slipping to caress the smooth skin under your boxers.

"Y-Yes Commander."

You muttered, hands shaking as Morrison's calloused fingers slipped between yours, kissing your knuckles with his coral lips.

"You want your reward, Don't you?"

Morrison asked though you could tell what he was trying to say, it made your heart flutter, though you'd never admit it.

"Yes, Commander."

"Jack is fine, Rookie."

"Y-Yes Jack."

You're breathing hitched as Reyes sly hands slipped to palm your length, running his thumb along the veins.

"Ha—ah.. R-Reyes.."

You whined, Stilling has he halted his movements.

"You call me Sir, Private, I'm not as friendly."

"Yes! Yes sir- Please just.. touch me again."

You whimpered, trying desperately to keep your hips still.

"You look cute at the mercy of your superiors, rookie."

Jack hummed, grasping the hem of your shirt and lifting it up over your chest, teasing with your blushed nipples, The pad of his thumb stroking over the nub, His mouth coming to bite and suck on the unoccupied bud.

Precum dribbled from your tip and onto Reyes' hand as he stroked your cock, pace speeding up as you rapidly approached your climax.

"Plea—ase~ fuck! Ha-ah.. "

"Did I give you permission to cum, Private?"

Reyes said, his Gruff voice vibrating in his chest, you could feel it in your back.

"Please- please let me cum— I'll be good."

You stammered, Grasping on Jack's shoulders for stability, cock twitching desperately as Reyes thumb rubbed at your slit.

"Cum for me."

He whispered, and like it was on command, your body shuddered, cum spilling out like a fountain, Face flushing as Jack traveled down to lick your cock clean, Your dick twitching in overstimulation as he did so.

"You were good, but- you haven't had your real reward yet."

Reyes said, licking his fingers clean, using his free hand to grasp the back of your neck and guide you into a kiss, you could taste yourself on his tongue.

When he pulled away, a string of saliva followed, leaving you breathless and panting, you all quickly adjusted as Jack laid down on the mat, Reyes guilding you to sit on his thighs.

"I'm gonna need to make sure you can fit us both, Don't need an injured rookie."

Jack explained, stroking your flushed face, A gentle smile curved his lips as you nodded, still dazed from your high, though your glazed eyes cleared quickly, cold, slick digits slipping into you, though it felt like very little, the chill shocked you.

"That was easy, Tell me, Private, Do you fuck yourself thinking of us?"

Reyes hummed out, curving his fingers into that bundle of nerves, prompting a thin gasp from your lips, shivering as his deep lips pressed on your ass and lower back.

"Answer, Rookie, You wouldn't want to keep Gabe waiting."

"..Y-Yes."

You meekly answered, averting your gaze from Jack, head hanging as Reyes mercilessly fucked his fingers into you.

"Careful, Rookie, Stay focused."

Jack said, Cupping your face and forcing you to meet his eyes, though you could see the strain in his eyes as he struggled to keep his composure.

"Please- I'm ready just.. just fuck me- please, sir."

You pleaded, helplessly leaning into Jack's touch, Chest heaving as your body shook with anticipation.

"Jack, Wanna do the honors?"

Reyes said, peeking over your shoulder, leaving a small bite where he had been, Jack nodded, Pushing down his trousers and briefs, His cock slipping out, head grazing just below his bellybutton.

"I'll try not to hurt you."

Jack said, kissing your cheek and leaving your heart spiraling, slowly guiding your hips over his, using his opposite hand to position his cock to slip into you, sighing as you slipped down him with little effort.

"Shit... You feel amazing Rookie."

The little clarity he gave you was interrupted by rough hands gripping you by your waist, wasting no time pushing his thick cock into you, thinning your breaths as you felt your body push limits you didn't know you had.

Tears welled in your eyes as you adjusted to the stretch, Embarrassing you and prompting you to hide your face, keeping yourself up by one shaky arm as you wiped your tear stricken face.

"I know it hurts, it'll all feel good soon I promise." Jack said, petting the top of your head, though you could feel Reyes rut into you every now and then, impatient.

"I'm fine, Please, I can't wait."

You panted, breath hitching as Reyes wasted no time fucking into you by your words, prompting lewd moans to slip from you kiss plumped lips.

"Y-Yes- just like that~ thank you Sir- ah.."

You moaned, your back arched as Reyes pulled your back against his chest, bouncing your hips over Jacks while pounding into you mercilessly, cock easily rutting against your prostate.

"You're being so good for us, Private, Do you feel like a good boy?"

Reyes hummed into your ear, his voice rumbling in his chest accompanied by his low groans, one hand on your hip and the other hugging your thigh, teasing the idea of touching you.

"Yes! Im a good boy, I am~ I swear~"

You mewled, drool spilling out of your mouth as it hung open, your hazy eyes flitting to Jack, who bit the back of his hand, eyebrows furrowed as his pale blue eyes focused on your shaking body.

"Such a good boy for your commanders, Carino."

Reyes said, stroking your twitching length, your body becoming like a furnace as precum spilt out of your head, your climax edging it's time.

"I'm gonna cum~ ah.. please- I wanna cum- I wanna cum please~"

You whined, your words failing you as Reyes and Jack fucked you, their cocks rubbing against eachother inside you, both edging near their end aswell.

"C'mon Carino, Cum for your commanders."

Reyes whispered into your ear, biting your earlobe like a tease, pumping your length and riding you out your orgasm, both Reyes and Jack soon following, pulling out of you, Reyes cumming on your back as Jack came on yours and his lower abdomen, leaving a mess in your wake.

"Fuck-" you said, your legs shuddering as you tried to stand from the collective spillage, failing as you dropped back to the comfortable mats.

"Our good boy can't walk because of us, Jack, Isn't that cute?"

Reyes said slyly, leaving kisses over his hickey's.

"You did good rookie, Let's get you cleaned up though."

Jack said, slipping out of the pile of limbs to help you up and guide you to the showers connected to the training room, Reyes following suit.

This was going to be a rough night.

A/N : CANT BELIEVE I FINALLY FINISHED THIS IM SO HAPPY I DID THO BECAUSE I THINK IT CAME OUT REALLY GREAT!!! I HOPE YALL ENJOYED IT ALL

[whatswrongwithblue]

There I was, so confident my married acespec ass could easily write and sell a version of Alastor where his ace identity is still intact but he is also still in love. I know very well what it's like to not care for romance or relationships in anyway and then one day find myself like "aww fuck, I actually love this girl. Welp, she's mine now." That's the vibe I've been trying to give Alastor through this entire fic and I feel like it's gone well.

And then I get to the chapter where I have to write their wedding. And you guys, writing his vows is more stressful than writing my own was!

This chapter is far from ready to be published but this little bit right here took me over two days to come up with and I still not sure how I feel about it . . .

“It may come to no surprise to anyone here today, that I . . . am not a good person. And for that matter, I do not strive to be. I gave up on that endeavor long ago. And I am aware, I have certain traits that make me difficult to be close to. I can be cold, distant, controlling; all horrible traits to have in a friend or a partner. And when I met you, I showed you all the worst versions of myself. I tricked you, manipulated you, tried to own you, all for the benefit of myself. And you threw that all back in my face and it was only when I had utterly failed in those regards, only when I had pushed you away that I realized . . . I missed you something terrible. You had added something to my life that I was no longer interested in going without. And the strangest part of that story is that you felt the same way for me. I’ll never understand why you love me, as unconditionally and passionately as you do, but I hope I have made it clear to you, and to everyone who would dare come between us, that I cherish that love above all else in my life. And if I continue to strive for power and dominance within this realm, it is only out of a desperate desire to keep my life as perfect as it is now that you are a part of it.”

[akiramona]

Non-human SSO designs dump

Welp--- Today I drew the umm... how I imagine the aliens and extradimensional beings in SSO :> Or I mean... disclaimer xD i CAN'T stress enough how much more i would like to know about the Dark Riders to draw their designs properly IF THEY'RE ALIENS TwT like are they even the same type of alien?? No clue alright--- so i decided to picture how i feel it ^^ i'll make notes to it accordingly--- *cough cough* tada!

Now I know what you're thinking, it's a bit empty, it's a bit muddled because of how small it is--- which is because i made the canvas with the intention to compare the size to something else---

My design opinion for a long time about Garnok was that he is too fleshy of an alien--- if Aideen brought life to Jorvik, she's the embodiment of it... so i decided to redesign Garnok into something really "out of this world"--- a 2D puddle of shapes in a 3D environment :> His generals kind of mimic that design like... they look like their human selves but if you were to put them in a similar environment as Garnok is in, they would start to dematerialise too :D I also noted in the dark riders post that i didn't like that Garnok is so pink (since--- Aideen's magic is also coded in pink so unless they wind up to be the same entity or something like Marika and Radagon and i am making a fool of myself here xD) so i added a bit more colour to him--- like i think it might be that the shapes are starting to catch pink due to Pandorian energy xD

Oh and speaking of Pandoria...

Since Ydris is really the only pandorian we know to date (except for Zee but i couldn't land on good shapes for her ^^) i kinda had to jur reverse engineer this design. Like we know pandorian's have masks and the only creatures we've seen in pandoria were shadow-seekers and those cliché manta rays--- so i added a bit of both to my design... I think i'll be using this as my default for designing pandorians in the future (i have an OC, wink wink, nudge nudge ;3) It is very likely bro will just be a masked humanoid in pandoria, but i really like to think of Pandorians as beings UNRESTRICTED BY SHAPE OR FORM and such xD

I would really love to do something more with these designs i had in my head for a while but erm... this will have to do for now ^^"

I'd love to hear opinions of these--- are they good? are they bad? are they ugly? xD And what's your take on the creature design for them? Idk, i have read neither of the books so... i'd love to hear the take of someone who has and has some inside info on this 👀

[greypetrel]

15 Lines of Dialogue

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

Tagged by @shivunin, thank you so much Mo! It's been so fun. Also a nightmare because I chose Aisling and my goodness someone make her shut up please. Referenced from Monster Fic (which is still getting views?? :"D Welp.), This one Radha fic , this prompt . Five minutes of silence for the one poop line that didn't make it to the final cut of this meme. Always remembered.

🦄✨ Aisling Lavellan ✨🦄

"We look like a swan and the ugly chick of a cuckoo.”

“I do. He’s just been mistreated. The Idiot started training him as a war horse, but it didn’t go well. He’s been beaten and whipped and given little food for too long, and relegated to do the work horse when he’s not. He just needs to learn that people can be trusted again, but he’ll be stronger and swifter than all the others, I’m sure.”

“Hey, I’m trying to stay in the role. I was told I’m a religious figure and I should behave! You’re ruining the mood, people need to think I’m the Herald of Andraste for real and that you can’t laugh! Stop, or I’ll have to sing a very lewd drinking song, you’ll laugh loudly, and they’ll all know!”

“I am aware I must sound like a child. But I believe people are good, deep down. And that everyone deserves a second chance.”

“In the case I’ll tragically fall to my death on horseback, I’ll leave a note to allow you to talk to my funeral and tell everyone that you told me so, is it all right?”

“The bad and the good, Cole. The good is better if there’s bad, like when it stops raining and the sun shines again, or when springs melts the snow and the flowers grow. But, humans can’t choose one, you know it. There must be snow and rain and thunder to make the flowers grow. I’m fine, don’t look at me. What do you want to do?”

“Honestly, I think all the time that you would have made a way better job as Inquisitor, if I hadn’t convinced the Keeper to send me and not you. You would have done a better job as First than I ever did, if… And I’m… I’m trying to prove that it’s not so, that I can be good too. Been doing it all my life, honestly.”

“Mh. I’m not really sure. Care to try again? For science?”

“You wished for a Cinderella, your Grace, but I am a bad one. You would know if you ever had paid more attention to anyone that’s not yourself.”

“But then, even if I feel nauseous and I hate everything and I would beg you to just take the title from me, I can’t take it, it’s too much and I’m just me… Then I remember that if I had run, I’d never met any of you, and you’ve all become family, and… And I do believe that we’re doing something good to the world. And that’s… That’s enough when the walls seems to loom upon me and I think that I can’t shoulder another impossible decision that shouldn’t be mine to take.”

“What if you explain and nothing changes? I know about loneliness, and of thinking you don’t deserve the love you get. You don’t have to face it alone.”

“I know. But I can still do some good, and the important people will remember me. I don’t care for the rest.”

“I’ve been alone ever since people started calling me the Herald of fucking Andraste, but I guess you wouldn’t understand being imposed by others a part that means nothing to you and you hate, right, Blackwall?”

“But if thinking he deserves another chance makes me a traitor, than be it. He’s more powerful than any of you realize. If you really think that hate and open hostility will ultimately save us all, I am glad to call myself a traitor and die as one.”

“No. You will let me finish. I know my shit, I am good at it, I am happy that you worry and care for me, really! I am and thank you for it, but this is getting ridiculous and I’m only doing worse because I’m stressed about you not trusting that I am competent and constantly watching me like… Like… Like a fucking vulture!”

Special mentions:

"Bad horsey!"

“Hey! I also have good days!”

Tagging: @ndostairlyrium @underneathestars @melisusthewee @rowanisawriter @pinayelf @zenstrike @inquisimer @heniareth and YOU!

[honeybuns-bb]

My Bad Batch Season 3 Predictions

Ok listen. I am NOT a critical thinker or predictor when it comes to my comfort media, and this show falls into that category, BUT in honor of Bad Batch Eve I thought it'd be fun to try my hand at making some theories anyway just so that if any of them happen I can brag that I predicted it. So let's try this out.

Thing I think will happen by the end of the series:

Phee dies

Cody shows up + Cody dies

Pabu is destroyed(I saw someone say they thought the Zillo Beast would be the one to destroy it and tbh I agree)

Wolffe comes back. He sighs dramatically about something. Perhaps even incorporating an eye roll. And if we're REALLY lucky, he'll even cross his arms.

CX-2 is Tech

DARTH VADER APPEARANCE

Things I WANT to happen by the end of the series:

Quinlan shows up(I will accept a name drop but NOTHING LESS. Give me his FACE or give me his NAME. No vague references)

Ahsoka pleeeeeease!!!

At least one (1) group hug with TBB

Ventress shanks a bitch

Crosshair gets a new outfit/armor. Someone help this outdated fashion disaster of a man.

emerie picks up hemlock and dunks him into the garbage. fucking obliterated(i saw someone ship them once. i want that person to know: im going to kill you)

Omega gets a lightsaber. As a treat. She deserves it.

DARTH VADER APPEARANCE. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.

Things I think will happen in the finale specifically:

Crosshair, Echo, Wrecker, Hunter all die

Omega lives

Those three itty bitty clones(Mox, etc.) go with Rex

Cid pulls a Lando and tries to make up for her betrayal

Howzer dies and i die too

Crosshair momentarily overcomes his hand trembling to make a heroic and epic shot that saves someone's life(Rex/Wolffe/Gregor?). The music swells dramatically. The sun comes out. Omega wipes a tear from her eye. He will immediately die after this.

CX-2(Tech?) kills one of the bad batch

Then Omega/someone will be in danger and CX-2(Tech??) will overcome his reprogramming or whatever to save her life. He will also immediately die after this.

I haven't decided if I think Batcher will live and stay with Omega(symbolic of the rest of TBB still being with Omega metaphorically despite their deaths) or will die before the rest of them in a sooner episode(foreshadowing that they're all going to fkcing die)

I unfortunately don't think Hemlock will die. I have never hoped to be wrong about something as much as I hope to be wrong about this.

DARTH. VADER. APPEARANCE.

Welp. That's it. Happy Bad Batch Eve. See you all tomorrow if we're all still alive.

[blue-jisungs]

bad hair day

summary. this day is awful, and luckily it’s coming to an end. but it was exhausting and it’s just one of those days when y/n didn’t feel gorgeous. however, yeonjun won’t let such thoughts cross his girlfriend’s mind

a/n. pink yeonjun owes my heart :(( also it’s to messy, silly and chaotic but cmon i feel like shit during summer i hope u get what i meant in this one >.<

you groaned and entered the bathroom, sloppily placing your steps. yeonjun was already there, applying his skincare products. when he saw you, a chuckle left his mouth as he stopped his actions.

"you seem tired" he sighed and you came up to him, nodding.

"because i am" you just said, lazily reaching for your toothbrush. he reassumed his actions but yet this time, watching you in the mirror.

you put the toothpaste on your brush and started brushing your teeth. you closed your eyes, feeling the stress and tiredness hitting your body like a truck.

when you finished, you put away the toothbrush and washed your mouth. you looked back at yeonjun in the mirror, hesitating.

you felt like shit today. it was too hot to function normally, you were all sweaty. your hair greasy too. mentally you wanted to wash your hair, do your skincare routine and just go to sleep. but you were so tired.

"whatcha thinking about in that little pretty head of yours?" your boyfriend hummed, putting down one of his face creams.

"i’m tired" you mumbled, sighing "i’ll just take a quick shower…"

he nodded, sending you a comforting smile.

after all day he still looks glamorous. how does he do that? that’s just unfair.

"i’ll wait in bed" yeonjun grinned and placed a soft kiss on your temple.

when he left, you just sighed looking at his skincare products and then at yourself in the mirror.

with a shake of your head you decided to shower quickly so you can fall asleep in his arms sooner.

but you couldn’t help but tear up a bit. he’s so perfect all the time. of course, he’s an idol but how…?

"yah, y/n, come on! i wanna cuddle already!" he yelled and you just smiled, wiping the tears.

in a matter of time you were out, in your pyjamas. you didn’t do your skincare routine nor dry your hair.

you sat at the edge of your bed and looked at yeonjun, biting your lip in deep thought. his brows furrowed as he noticed right away that something’s wrong. but before he could speak up, you asked him:

"how do you do that?"

yeonjun tilted his head, scanning your face.

"you look so pretty all the time. your skin, your hair. it’s never greasy" you mumbled, looking down and started playing with your fingers.

"i don’t get it, y/n. i wash my face and my hair, that’s all." he chuckled and moved closer to you.

"i know but… i do too, right? and then at the end of the day i look awful and- and tired and just horrible. sweaty and swollen, hair greasy. while you manage to look so… perfect" you sighed.

"oh, y/n that’s not true" yeonjun whined and hugged you, placing his chin on top of your head "you don’t look horrible. it’s summer, it’s normal we all sweat. but that doesn’t make you look awful. you’re gorgeous"

"no, it’s gross" you giggled, leaning into his touch.

"i’m sweaty and stinky after a dance practice and it’s gross too. but you always want to hug me, even if that’s the state i’m in. and it’s the same for me." he hummed and his fingers danced on your arm, tracing shapes "i look so perfect all the time because of the specialists around me. makeup and hair stylists, yknow?"

"i know…" you mumbled. yeonjun grabbed your chin and tilted your head slightly, making you look him in the eye.

"i’m glad you know" jun smiled and leaned closer to place a tender kiss on your lips. then he pulled away and put a strand of your hair behind your ear "now let’s go to sleep, hm? you said you’re tired"

"i’d turn the ac on but i was too lazy to dry my hair…" you nodded and laid down. yeonjun turned off the light and scooted closer to you.

"it’s alright…" he hummed and wrapped his arms around your waist gently "welp… we’ll wake up sweaty and greasy together”

"you’re gross" you giggled and just melted into his touch, eyelids becoming heavy.

"but you love me" yeonjun whispered before falling asleep too. and he was right.

[ masterlist <3 ]

taglist: @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @lhsng ,, @ethereallino

[the-witch-with-the-raven-tattoo]

After about a decade of building up my crystal collection, I can no longer close my eyes to what I've been supporting. Far from the good vibes that crystals are purported to have, I need to be honest that their trade funds the same human rights abuses and environmental destruction that I've spent most of my life decrying. I need to address this cognitive dissonance within myself, and can no longer endorse buying mass-market crystals anymore. I call myself an earth-worshipper, or nature-worshipper, yet I'm contributing to the destruction of the Earth and her people. This no longer sits right with me. Yes, there are likely minerals in my phone that were mined using less-than-ethical practices, however a cell phone in this day and age is kind of a necessity. Decorative crystals and fossils, though, are more difficult to justify in this way.

I'm still going to keep the ones I have for now, because, welp, the damage has already been done, and getting rid of them now won't undo what I've been endorsing with my dollar. I still have a box of gems that I bought to make wire-wrapped jewelery with, and I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with those, so they're tucked away until I can decide.

If there's interest, I may make some pieces with them and put them up for sale as a Crystal Clearout sale, since I did spend a lot of money on those supplies. Or I might wear or gift them. We will see.

Back to my spiritual practice. What am I going to use instead?

River rocks!

Or lake rocks. Park rocks. Parking lot rocks. Farm rocks. Forest Rocks. Anything except store-bought is fine. Look at these cool rocks I've found in my city so far! These are geologically tied to the place I live, they carry the history on the land I'm on, which is not mine to live on. It is Treaty 6 territory—the traditional and ancestral territory of the Cree, Dene, Blackfoot, Saulteaux and Nakota Sioux. This territory is home to the Métis Settlements and the Métis Nation of Alberta, Regions 2, 3 and 4 within the historical Northwest Métis Homeland.

These stones carry the memory of the people who were here before me, and that of a not-so-distant history I need to address time and time again, examine my own biases, and do what I can to address inequalities right here, right now. They are a connection to this land, and those who live on it.

These stones can also hold my own memories, for instance this petrified wood reminds me of a day a friend and I went rock-hunting by the river, and on a trip to Ontario with this same friend, we found some jade (I think). Which brings me to another point. I am not a geologist. I plan to learn about minerals local to me, but I'll never have the assurance of some shopkeeper (whatever that's worth) that what I'm holding is 100% a piece of pure amethyst, and here is a list of its properties. Instead, I'll be able to find my own meaning in the stones, feathers and flowers I find while walking in the world, and use them in my practices the way I feel intuitively guided to.

In spiritual practices, what we are working with is energy and intention. The rest are simply tools, symbols for our brain to understand what we are channeling towards or away from. The most important quality you can develop as a witch, a pagan, a yogi, a spiritualist, whatever you wish to call yourself, is self-trust. Trust that you are enough. Trust that this stone made its way to you so that you would find it exactly when you did. Trust that the herbs you lovingly grew, watered, bundled and dried are sufficient for clearing any stale energies. Learn from those who came before you, but at a certain point, you have to free yourself from reliance on corporations, merchants, readers, authors, course creators, and anyone else looking to make a buck off your lack of experience and confidence.

When you have a true need, harken not to others' greed. (the Wiccan Rede)

Consumerism has its hooks in us to such a point where we feel like we have to buy our way out of all of our real or perceived inadequacies.

Feeling down? Buy this sun lamp!

Tummy hurts? It's this scary new syndrome I just made up! Peer review, what's that? Nevermind. Buy this supplement!

Want to feel really cool and attractive? Buy this new outfit!

Want to make friends? Learn a new hobby! Oh, but this hobby requires you to buy all this gear before anyone thinks you're serious about it! And make sure you buy a t-shirt that says you're into this hobby while you're at it, so you can talk about it to everyone!

McSpirituality works the same way. Feel like you don't belong? It's definitely a past life thing, buy a reading with me to find out! Looking for love? Make sure you buy a rose quartz to send a lover your way within 24 hours. Hmm, it didn't work? It must not be big enough. Make sure you buy this one instead! Trying to get into meditation? You'll need to buy a zafu, some mala beads, and a buddha head with some very questionable history Are you broke after all these purchases? You can just buy this abundance generating spell kit, and this $10K course (I have seen this price point, it's not hyperbole) on dissolving your subconscious blocks to abundance!

It's not your fault, it's the system we all live in. I was, and still am, immersed in it too. If you're in a tough place, it can be so easy to be swept up by the promise of a quick fix, because spiritual work is hard. You'll have to confront yourself in some tough ways, work through traumatic experiences and spend years building discipline and focus.

It's a lot easier to just walk into a crystal shop and pick the one you like, isn't it? But I want to remind myself that life doesn't work that way.

Do you just walk into a store and pick out the partner, the job, the house, the experiences, the circumstances that look prettiest?

Okay, maybe some of you do if you're very lucky or have certain privileges, but these choices aren't always the ones that guarantee long-term compatibility or happiness.

In real life, it's a lot more like walking down a riverbank with a friend, catching up on life, and showing each other the cool thing you found, maybe deliberating on what it might be. Your rock might look different than hers, but you found it and it feels good to you. Maybe the shape feels satisfying and built just for your hand. You feel like it was waiting for you all this time.

Or maybe it's like walking home after a difficult day, and seeing the little sparkle of something glimmering in the sunlight. Maybe this represents hope and silver linings. Maybe a bird eyes you as you examine your rock, offering you company and understanding in a way that words fail to.

That feeling certainly isn't for sale in stores, or online. If I find it at a garage sale, I'll let you know.

[lokiprompts]

A Second Chance - Part 2

Welp, guess I am going to make this a three parter. The third part will be the last part, I swear!

Summary: You didn't really like Loki, but you lost your memories and Loki takes advantage of the situation by pretending to be your boyfriend. What could go wrong?

Warnings: Some smut if you squint. Also didn't proof read this cuz I'm le tired. Sorry.

Words: ~ 3k

Part one on my master list.

You furrowed your brows at the man in front of you, who apparently was named Loki and was your boyfriend. None of this looked familiar, but something about him being so close to you felt…weird, but also right. You believed every word he said. Loki, or so he calls himself, was rubbing his thumb over your hand and you were thankful that you weren’t here in this hospital bed alone.

“I’m sorry that I don’t remember you.” You continued to look down at your joined hands and you genuinely did feel bad. How horrible must it be for him for his lover to forget who he was? You said so out loud and he gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

            “It’s okay, Darling. I am not upset. I am just glad you are okay.” His eyes were glassy, and he looked at you. The love and affection were apparent in his eyes, and you felt obligated to give him a little smile.

            “How long have we been together?” It was an innocent question, but Loki seemed thrown off by it. Thankfully, the God of Mischief was good at thinking on his feet.

            “It’s relatively new,” He cleared his throat awkwardly, “but we are very happy.” He looked so stiff, but you just assumed it was because his girlfriend forgot who he was and the stress of that.

            You laughed and that seemed to perk him up a bit, “I will take your word on it.”

            There was a knock on the door and a nurse, followed by Dr. Strange came into your room. The doctor flipped through your chart and smiled at you, “I see you are awake. You hit your head pretty good, Y/N. How are you feeling?”

            You shifted a bit, looking to Loki because honestly, you had no idea who this doctor was, but he spoke to you as if you knew him. “I, uh, I don’t remember much. I will be honest; I am very confused.” The more you thought about it, the more upset you got. You had a raging headache, the more you tried to remember, but it was all static. It was so frustrating!

            “I don’t know where I am. I feel like I should know, and I feel like I should know who you are too, but I don’t.” By the time you finished, you were choking your words out in between tears. The sympathetic looks from everyone in the room felt like knives to your heart. All you wanted to do was remember, but you couldn’t.

            “I know it is so frustrating Y/N. Thankfully, all your tests and scans came back fine. You just have a mild concussion and so, with amnesia like this, your memory will likely come back very quickly and probably all at once. So, you just have to be patient.”

            The news was reassuring, but you were never one to be patient. That is something you knew about yourself, at least.

            “We can make arrangements for someone to help take care of you. You shouldn’t be alone, and you will need help with your leg.”

            You looked to Loki, confused. Maybe the doctor wasn’t aware of your relationship, “Well, I just assumed he would –“

            “I will take responsibility for her, Doctor!” Loki interrupted, jumping to his feet with a big smile and a wave of his hand.

            Strange looked between you and Loki with narrowed eyes, “Are you sur-“

            “Yes, yes, I am her partner. I will be helping her. The rest of the team is busy on missions, and I am here, so it makes the most sense.”

            That answer seemed to placate the doctor as he went over discharge instructions with Loki. Though, you wondered why Loki didn’t mention your relationship.

            Then, before you knew it, you were making your way out of the Med Bay to your room, or what you were told was your room. You hobbled down the hallway on your crutches and Loki was there to catch you as you found your rhythm. The staples that were in your leg was gruesome, so you were thankful for his help. It was sweet, actually.

            Loki took your room key from you and opened the door. He helped you in and started with a barrage of questions.

            “Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Are you in pain?” You smiled softly at him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

            “Did you always worry like this?”

He looked down at your hand on his shoulder and then back at you. “Always. I always worry about you. I just want you to be okay, to be happy.”

“Well, some pasta would make me very happy, Loki.” You shuffled your way over to the couch, with Loki on your heels of course, and sat down.

“Yes, right, of course. Right away, Darling. Whatever you need!” And the tall man made his way into your kitchen. While you heard him banging pots and pans in the kitchen, you took in the apartment around you. There wasn’t very much there. There were a few photos of you with the Avengers, but no family that you could recognize. You remembered your initial training days with the team, but after that it was a blur. The décor in the apartment was quite plain, outside of some plants here and there. Overall, the apartment did not give you many hints about the time you had lost.

You heard whispered yelling coming from your kitchen in a language you didn’t understand. You strained your neck to try and peak and see what was happening.

“Is everything okay in there?” You called out and Loki popped his head out from the kitchen, so you could see him.

“Oh yes, perfect, Darling. It will be the best pasta you have ever eaten. The most magnificent!” Then, as quickly as he appeared, he was gone. Loki seemed very confident, but something was telling you that he was bluffing.

“You don’t know how to cook do you?” You yelled. As soon as you said that there was a giant crash of pots and pans in the kitchen. Frankly, he sounded like he was destroying your kitchen.

Loki scrambled back out to your line of sight again. He wiped chonks of his hair out of his face as he tried, but failed, to keep a cool and collected image. You covered your mouth, trying to stifle your giggles.

“No, what makes you say that?!” You gave him a pointed look, and he all but crumbled under your gaze, “Okay, fine. I am not a great cook, but I want to take care of you. Please let me try.”

            Loki towered over you, but here, hanging outside of your kitchen, he looked so small and so unsure. So far, as much as you knew, he was the only one in your life to come check on you. He wanted to make you a meal, even if it meant going outside of his comfort zone and even making a fool of himself. The gesture warmed your heart, so you decided to throw the man a bone.

            “Okay, but will you let me help you maybe?” He glared at you, as if he was daring you to get off of that couch, and you laughed, “From the couch, okay? Grab the orange box from the cupboard and come here.” He disappeared for a moment and then was by your side. You were craning your neck to try and look at him.

            “Do you mind?” You motioned for him to join you on the couch, but he surprised you by falling to his knees in front of you. You asked him to turn around and he looked skeptical at first before complying.

            “The first thing we have to do is put that hair back” You grabbed a stray hair tie that was on your coffee table and ran your fingers through his long, black hair and gathering it in your hand for a low pony. You could have sworn you heard him purr and you smiled. You twisted the tie around his hair and secured it into a neat ponytail for him.

            “I like your curls.” You simply said. He turned around to face you and he had a lovely dusting of pink on his cheeks. Loki’s hands gingerly touched his hair and he smiled softly at you before murmuring a whispered ‘thank you’. You wondered if he was always this shy, but either way you thought it was cute.

            Picking up the box of pasta, you showed him the instructions on the back. “See this tells you how to cook it. You know how to use the stove, right?” He nodded his head enthusiastically, but really, he had just figured it out not even five minutes ago when he accidentally lit a potholder on fire. The less you knew, the better.

            You told him where to find the pasta sauce and assured him it’s hard to mess up a pasta dinner. He made a joke about how anything was possible with him and when he winked at you, you couldn’t help but blush yourself. Loki surprised you, and he seemed genuinely surprised himself, when he reappeared with two plates of perfectly cooked pasta. There was some sauce on his face, so you reach forward and swiped it off with your finger and tasting it on your tongue.

            “This is good!” You exclaimed, carrying on and taking a bite from your plate as if you didn’t just cause Loki’s heart to burst with pure joy.

            In between bites you continued to talk to him, “I just glad that I remember pretty much everything. I think it is just this last year and a half that I don’t really remember. Like, how did we meet? How did our relationship start?”

            He slurped up some pasta and a sauce covered noodle flicked over his nose. The man was huge, but he was so childlike. It was endearing. He sheepishly wiped his face with a napkin and turned to you.

            “Well, I came to the Avengers very…reluctantly. I admit, I was sour about the whole situation, and it reflected in how I interacted with others. I wasn’t pleasant to be around,” He smiled tight lips. It was clear he was embarrassed by his behavior. “But you were always kind to me. No matter how rude I was or how I tried to push you away. You always tried to make sure I was included. You wanted me to feel like this was my home.”

            He looked into your eyes, and you found yourself getting lost in his. There was so much emotion pooling in those crystal blue eyes, and you couldn’t tear yourself away even if you wanted to, but you didn’t want to, “That is how I fell in love with you. Your heart is so big and so pure, and you are amazing out in the field. Really quite impressive. And you’re stunning. The most beautiful creature I have ever seen. I just want to be around you all the time…and I am rambling.” He put his head in his hands out of embarrassment, but you did hear him laugh a little bit.

            “Loki?”

            He lifted his head from his hands to look at you. He looked terrified of what you were going to say. “Yes?”

            “You love me?” You bat your eyelashes at him as you teased him.

            He chuckled, “Yes, I do. It took me a long time to admit it. You actually were the one to call me out on it. You knew before I even knew I was feeling. Of course, you teased me about that too.” It wasn’t a lie.

            “And do I love you?” Loki’s eyes locked on you. The God was frozen. He knew the answer, but he didn’t know what to say to you. So, he tried to answer as honestly as he could while still maintaining the façade.

            “Honestly? I don’t know. You haven’t said it to me yet, but it doesn’t matter. I am content to just be in your presence. It’s an honor, truly.” The way he looked at you told you that every word he said to you was genuine. He looked at you liked you hung the sun, the moon, and the stars and while you did not remember him, you liked the way he looked at you.

And you liked looking at him.

Your eyes danced over his face, taking in his features. His sharp jawline. His black, long curls that still hung in your ponytail. His impeccable cheekbones and pillowy lips. There was no denying that he was incredibly handsome.

“You’re starring, Darling.” He smirked. That smile, too, oh it was starting to do things to you.

You nudged him playfully with your elbow, “You’re my boyfriend. I can stare if I like.” He smiled back at you and tenderly brushed some of your hair behind your ear.

“You certainly can, Darling.”

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence and now with a full and happy belly, you couldn’t help but yawn.

“Ahh, time for bed then.” You nodded at him, the exhaustion really hitting you hard. You reached for your crutches to help you get to your bed, but he stopped you. With one quick, yet careful movement, he scooped you up in his arms as if you weighed nothing and started to make his way to your bedroom. You wrapped your arms around his neck and nuzzled in. His arms felt so comfortable, like you belonged there. It felt wonderful and you wondered how often he carried you like this to bed. You wished you could remember.

“Do you always carry me like this? It’s nice.” You murmured into his chest. Loki squeezed you closer to him. He was committing this feeling to memory. He had always wondered what you felt like in his arms, all warm and cozy. The only other time you were in his arms was when he was carrying you to the Quinjet, unconscious. If he could cast out that memory and replace it with this one, he would in a heartbeat.

“Not as often as I would like to.” It was another non-answer, answer, but you seemed satisfied with it. The god knew he was on borrowed time. It was only a matter of time until you remembered everything and realized he was lying about being in a relationship. Typically, Loki was a planner, and he was always three steps or more ahead of whatever problem he was facing. But now, he had no plans. He will face your wrath with pure gratitude that he even got to dream of a life with you.

            Tenderly, as if you could break like glass, he placed you on your bed. He tucked you in so sweetly, your heart swelled. You wondered if he always cared for you like this. You missed those memories. Loki wished you a good night and turned to leave, but you called out to him.

            “Can you please just hold me?”  The god stood awkwardly in your bedroom, bouncing on his heels.

            “I am not sure if that is a good idea. You don’t really remember me. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He argued, looking down at his feet that shuffled on the floor. But really, he worried that you would hear his heart beating so loudly just being next to you.

            “I am asking you to stay, so I am not uncomfortable. I don’t want to be alone…and I trust you.”

            Loki’s eyes shot up to yours, “You-You do?” You smiled up at him.

            “Of course. I know it is silly since I don’t really remember you. You could be lying through your teeth,” You laughed at the idea and missed the slight wince that crossed Loki’s face, “I just know I can trust you. You will take care of me. Please? Will you stay?”

            You gave him your best puppy dog eyes and you saw him melt into a puddle right in front of you. This man was truly putty in your hands, and you were starting to love it. Without another word, Loki crawled into bed with you. He insisted on being on top of the covers, something about decency, but he still wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close to his chest. Over your shoulder, you heard a contented sigh and you fell asleep with a smile.

            Sometime, during the night, Loki had made his way under the covers. He had a death grip on your body as he held you so close to him like you might try to escape. You bit your lip, feeling his bulge poke against your back. The man behind you was sound asleep so you boldly wiggled your hips against him. The low, rumbly growl that came from his chest lit your whole body on fire. Part of you felt a bit promiscuous since you still didn’t remember him, so it was like grinding on a stranger. But this stranger was crazy hot and technically he was your boyfriend, so why not right?

            You let out a quiet moan of your own when you felt wet kisses under your ear and the back of your neck. And just as quickly this all started, it ended. Loki woke up and registered what was happening. His lips on your neck and his hard on rubbing against your ass. He jumped out of bed, almost tripping on it as his long legs got caught on your comforter. He turned his back to you and quickly readjusted himself in a feeble attempt to hide his obvious erection. The God was blessed, he knew this, but he still wanted to do this right. This was his second chance, after all.

            You turned in bed to face him and giggled at his frantic behavior, “I didn’t realize I was so unappealing.” If there was one thing you learned about your relationship with Loki, it’s that you love teasing him.

            His brain just about short circuited, “No, no, no, Darling. No. You are amazing. I mean, your face! Your body!” He gestured with his hands towards you, as if you knew exactly what he meant.

            You flashed him a sweet smile and it seemed to help ease his panic, “Thanks Loki. So, what’s the plan for today?”

            He sat down on the edge of the bed, and he caressed your messy bed head with his hand. The feeling was so nice. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so loved, but a part of you was just blaming the amnesia.

            “I was thinking we could do something today that might help with your memory. I wanted to recreate our first date.” He beamed down at you. You thought the idea was so incredibly sweet, and a great way to maybe trigger your memories back. But little did you know that it would, truly, be your first date with Loki.

            “I love that idea.” You smiled at him, lost in his sweetness. He offered you his hand and helped you out of bed, careful of your leg.

            “Then let’s get you ready, my love.”

--------

Unicorns 🦄: @theawkwardavenger @nonsensicalobsessions @purplekitten30 @lostgreekgod @slytherinintj13 @huntress-artemiss @midnights-ramblings @xorpsbane @ravenmailey @vbecker10 @lazulifoster @winterfrostsarmy @ada17h @lokisprettygirl22 @theaudacitytowrite @lokis-little-love @themorningsunshine @strawberry-canyon @howdidurhammergrowchris @michelleleewise @80strashbag @mochie85 @kat-nee @mischief2sarawr @dangertoozmanykids101 @anonymousfiction211

[rhoorl]

Week in Review | Nov. 12

Hi there! How’s your November going? I can’t believe we’re already almost halfway through. The time change has been kicking my ass this week, although it has meant that Baby Rhoorl now goes to sleep at a more reasonable time…for now.

Ok, here’s the recap…

Fics I read this week:

Frankie Morales

It’s the Sniffles by @undercoverpena - I was in a mood for some sweet Frankie and Jo delivered with this sweet fic of Frankie taking care of a reader who came down with a cold.

Give Up the Bagel by @nerdieforpedro - Again, I wanted some sweet Frankie and found this on my TBR list and it hit the spot!

Marcus Pike

Headshots by @secretelephanttattoo - EL! Congratulations on ending your series! I have loved following along with Marcus and Ella and I was just swooning over their travels these last two chapters!

Dieter Bravo

@mysterious-moonstruck-musings, my sister in Dieter. I am so excited about this fic she has cooking up, Closed Position.

Jack Whiskey Daniels

Two Fingers of Whiskey by @morallyinept - This fictional cowboy just does things to me. I can’t help it. Also, what Jett is able to convey in 496 words is a triumph (especially coming from a long-winded bitch like myself 😉)

Two Left Feed by @linzels-blog - I had never thought about Jack line dancing and now I have and I can’t get it out of my head.

Tim Rockford

Steep is the Mountain by @sin-djarin I’m in a Tim Rockford spiral as of late, and a fic like this one only helps fuel the feralness. So thank you, Becca. 

Current Compulsory Series:

These are the series I am keeping up with at the moment.

Delta Palms Tropical Resort (Frankie) by @linzels-blog 

I Like the Way You (Frankie) by @undercoverpena

Destiny & Deliverance (Dieter) by @mysterious-moonstruck-musings

Paranoid Heat (Javi P) by @goodwithcheese

It’s Never Too Late (Javi P) by @javierpena-inatacvest I’m almost all caught up, now I’m just one chapter behind!

Posts from the week:

Self Care with Dieter & Jett is always a highlight each week!

@goodwithcheese is a tremendous artist and made me absolutely laugh out loud with this depiction of @legendary-pink-dot’s Hinterland (which is a great read by the way!). 

Putting a little plug here for these fun pencils by @fuckyeahpaperco! I already ordered the Javi and Joel set and I NEED the Frankie set!!

Feral corner:

This gif continues to fuel thots. As does any mention of Sequins!Joel (thank you @trulybetty). Frankie Friday got off to a hot start thanks to @intheorangebedroom. And then there’s this set of photos. I love picking up little things that Pedro does across characters, like this. Here’s your reminder (as if you could forget) that this photoshoot exists. Seriously, thank you Esquire, and everyone who made it a reality.

There’s been a lot of Benny Miller on my feed this week (thank you to those who tag me to make sure I don’t miss a post 😘). But this little moment from Triple Frontier gets me every single time. And I have to throw one in with the baseball cap.

Things I watched:

I went to the movies to go see The Marsh King’s Daughter. Would I normally have seen this movie? Probably not. So why, Jess did you go? Welp, because Garrett Hedlund was in it. I did a little movie review of it in case you missed it.

Personal Stuff

Because @maggiemayhemnj asked so nicely, I'll share a couple of months from the 2024 Pedro calendar I've been working on (this will replace the calendar my coworker got for my cube).

Week three of my health journey. I’m really trying to not stress about the scale this time, but I did reach a little milestone this week which is encouraging. 

Mr Rhoorl and I are going to the Ice Nine Kills/In This Moment concert soon and I'm so excited. We saw Ice Nine Kills earlier this year when we went to Metallica, but it was a huge stadium. I'm looking forward to seeing them a bit closer. And In This Moment always puts on a good show. We've been debating how many times we've seen them, I think this will be the third.

Anyways, I'll be trying to listen to set lists all week to prepare. It looks like my favorite song isn't on the list but I'll keep listening to it anyway:

Fic updates:

Delta Landscaping Chapter 9 came out this past week and I’ve been plugging away at Chapter 10 - for the Frankie fans, I hope you’ll like it because he gets a bit of a spotlight. I’m also adding in two more PPCU characters too (just mentioning them by name at this point).

Thank you as always for reading and interacting!

Masterlists

Working Title (Dieter, series, ongoing) | AO3 

Delta Landscaping (Triple Frontier, series, ongoing) | AO3

Turbulence (Frankie, one-shot) | AO3

Are You on Mute? (Benny Miller, one-shot) | AO3

[latenightmining]

content warnings: ableist self-talk, self harm via water, vague mentions of experimentation, typical c!dream behaviors.

“welp, here we are…” he’s walked all this way, but it’s still late at night. he could go home if he wanted to. back to his family, and never tell anyone about this.

but then he’d never know. and knowing is better than not knowing, it always is.

and so ranboo makes sure his helmet is secure, and dives under the water, down into the secret staircase, and descends into the lab.

it hasn’t been all that long since he was last here. in fact, there’s still a lantern he forgot to snuff out illuminating the cramped room. ranboo doesn’t bother lighting the rest of them around the room; the lava underneath the table works just as well.

he brings out ingredients for the harming potion, and sets them out next to the brewing stand line along the lab countertop. 

“now, i don’t know if i’m gonna need to use this, but- but just in case, i’ll have the ingredients ready. but- but we should just- just need water. it’s basically the same thing for me anyways.” he sighs. “i don’t want to waste time. if i think about it too much…. then i’m gonna enderwalk, and he’s gonna make me go back home.”

ranboo pulls out his memory book. in it is a conversation between him and his enderwalk. he pleads to himself to just be allowed to know, and the enderwalk refuses every time. 

“he doesn’t want me to know. he doesn’t- he doesn’t want me to know. but what am i gaining from being like this? i have the chance to finally fix myself, to- to fix everything! but he’s not letting me! and- and i’m tired of it. i’m sick of living like this. i don’t want to sit here and be a burden to- to everyone around me! if wilbur can fix his memories by trying this… then i can too.”

“you’re making a huge mistake! don’t you get it? you’re not a burden- you’re not going to hurt anyone, who cares if you don’t know your past? you know your present, isn’t that enough?”

“my present is affected by my past! everything i do today is because of my past. and if dream is the reason behind it all, then he’s never going to truly die until i know what my connection is to him… maybe then i’ll be able to finally apologize for everything i’ve done.”

with the particles still screaming at him, ranboo claps, blowing them all away. he can’t take hearing them anymore. he feels that telltale swell of stress bubbling up in him that signals an oncoming enderwalk. he doesn’t have much time, he needs to do this now.

ranboo looks at the brewing stand with the ingredients laying next to it. he doesn’t think it’ll be fast or effective enough. but he does know what will be effective.

with careful and confident movements, ranboo unbuckles his armor. he starts at the helmet, and then works his way down. he strips off his suit jacket and tie as well. he also makes sure he still has his totem in his hand. he’s not an idiot. he knows if this goes wrong he could die, and he’s not taking that chance. if he turns out to be bad all along, then tubbo will kill him himself.

with shaky hands, he finds himself grabbing for his memory book, and pulling out his quill. his hands write on their own.

he throws the book and quill to the side, and heads to the back corner of the room to the tank of water he built two years ago.

he climbs the stairs, and stares down into the water. last chance to back out now.

ranboo drops into the water, and blacks out.

-

he’s in a tank.

how did he get in a tank? it burns, it burns so bad, and he doesn’t remember how he got in here. a hand pulls him out of the water and onto the floor. it’s cold, and solid.

“haha, oh man, you still get burned by the water? i figured by now there would be enough dna in you to make that stop. here, let’s get you dry. can’t have you melting before we’re done.”

there’s a voice, and he doesn’t remember who it is. he recognizes it though, and he knows he’s scared of that voice. something soft is tossed down onto him. he grabs it with his… why is his hand white? what- what happened?

he doesn’t know where he is, the last thing he remembers was joining that new server. what even is his name again? everything is fuzzy. 

rolling over onto his back, ranboo- that’s his name his name is ranboo- is met with that haunting white mask smiling down at him. the person turns to a collection of books and quills, and begins writing more down. 

“how do you feel, ranboo?”

he stares up at the person, confused. “.... who are you?”

the person scoffs. “again? i know we’re messing with your dna here, but fuck, i- i didn’t think your memory would still be this bad!” he scoffs, leaning down and pushing his masked face far too close to ranboo. “i’m dream, and i’m your best friend.”

-

ranboo is thrown back into his body again when a deafening bang erupts, shattering the glass of the tank and spraying water all over the floor of the lab. his body courses with green and gold sparks, the shattered totem in his hand’s faint glow dimming. ranboo can barely focus on anything, his mind littered with fleeting memories of experimentation. of tests, and potions, and- and- and- 

he whimpers, blearily looking down at his white hand, broken totem gripped inside of it. the lab around him only thrusts more to the front of his brain. he regrets doing this alone, he knew that he should have asked tubbo, wilbur, anyone for help- but he didn’t.

and so ranboo passes out, eight thousand blocks away from everyone, with dream’s laugh echoing in his ears.