#I am still trying to figure out why my brain wanted to insist on making this a picture of statues than of the people alive

[whisperingvoids]

Cody and Obiw-Wan as Greek Gods/Greek God statues.  Or rather, Cody as Helios and his wife Obiwan.

[musical-chick-13]

I know the point of "Don't have your characters use therapy-speak" is "Don't put dialogue in your story that makes things seem stilted/breaks immersion for the purpose of proving that This Isn't Actually An Unhealthy Situation, I Promise Guys," but nonetheless it is starting to give me a complex over writing these characters like. Communicating. Just at all.

[ryanmarshallryan]

I've been having a lot more people reach out about the vore stories I write, so thought I'd throw it out there if anyone wants to donate to help me have more time to write stories, or likes my style and wants to commission something let me know over dm!

I usually write thinking from a prey perspective, but was feeling hungry after eating salads for a month and switched to pred for this story.

DIET BACKFIRED

I love my weight. I think my belly looks great on me. When I see those old statues of historical figures with dad bods I see myself and love it. But after gaining 25 pounds in a few months from stress, I decided to try out a diet for a bit, just to be cautious of my health. Man, it was hard. And this morning my hunger took control.

I was preparing a salad, heated up some chicken to mix in, sprinkled in some shredded cheese, spinach, lettuce, cucumber, tomato and such. All I could think about was how wonderful it would feel to have a full belly again. Not just feeling satisfied, but pigging out and shoving as much down my maw as possible. Feeling the gainer bug while also trying to diet was not going to work for me. I tore through my cabinet to find an old box of cookies. I opened the box, came to my senses and closed it, then decided I didn’t care and ate the remainder in one sitting. To try to slow myself down and tire out my palette, I tried to eat a bunch of lettuce, but then added a bunch of croutons and snacks without thinking. I still felt hungry, but just left the kitchen to stop myself.

Later, I hung out with my work-out buddy, Max, and vented about my hunger, “I’m still eating a lot! Just replacing chips with a lot of low fat snacks. So if the quantity of food I’m eating is the same, why am I always feeling sooooo hungry? Ugh.”

“Bro, sounds like you need a cheat day. But, hey, if you’re stressed about having too much high fat food, I can help you eat big while still holding back on the chips.”

“Well it can be helpful to sit with the feeling for a while. So if you start feeling hungry, write down exactly what you are craving and what that feels like. By the time you are done writing it out, if you’re still hungry for it… go for it. If the feeling passes, then move on,” Max continued.

“I’m sure we could try it, but I don’t see how much of a difference it’ll make.” I replied. I knew Max worked as some sort of private personal trainer or something on the side, so I felt inclined to believe him, but my stomach was doubtful.

After our workout, we visited a smoothie place and got large chocolate banana protein smoothies (after writing out what I was craving and waiting a moment before deciding to go through with it). I sucked mine down so fast I got a mild brain freeze.

“So how are you feeling? Hungry for another one?” Max asked, playfully placing a hand on my gut and giving it a quick rub.

“Ugh, I would totally go for a burger and fries right now… no, onion rings… actually both,” I replied, as Max handed me a notepad and pen. I wrote down the menu in my mind and thought about how it can be nice to feel so full without another care in the world.

“It’s been a few minutes… still hungry?” Max said with a sly smile.

“What do you think?” I asked him, lifting my gym shirt up to reveal my hairy belly, which gave a perfectly timed gurgle.

Max drove to my favorite burger joint and ordered a few meals and insisted on paying “This is my idea, don’t worry about it… for science!”

After downing two large burgers, a full bag of onion rings and a couple sides of fries, plus an apple that came with Max’s meal that he was too full to finish, I sat with my gut extended out in front of me.

Max leaned over to me, pulled my shirt up over my belly and patted it with his closed fist as if knocking at a door, “So how are you doing, hungry guy?” He put his ear to my side and listened intently to the stomach gurgles, occasionally making sounds of “Mmm,” “Yes, I see,” “Interesting.” I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the absurdity of Max speaking to my belly.

“What’s so funny about listening to your gut? Intuitive eating is no joke,” Max said with a joking smile, “What is your stomach telling you?”

I thought for a moment, grabbed the notepad and wrote down ‘Though I should be full and done eating… Ice cream would hit the spot right now… Surely that would fill me up, and fill the void the low fat snacks have opened.’ I handed Max the written note.

Max looked from my belly to my eyes with a poker face, “I know just the place.”

In a few minutes we rolled up to Max’s apartment. Inside he pulled out some pints of cookies and cream ice cream and some mint chocolate chip. He handed me a spoon and opened the containers and sat across from me.

“Do you want me to get a bowl?” I asked.

“Nah. Try to intuitively eat. Just eat until your body feels done.”

“So… eat until there’s a nationwide ice cream shortage?”

Max threw his head back laughing, “If we get to that point, maybe we’ll pivot to a new tactic, but for now, feel free to eat as much as you want.” He looked endearingly into my eyes, and I felt my gut rumble, whether by digestion or hunger, or both, I couldn’t discern.

As I scooped down ice cream, we chatted about hunger, about scarcity mindset when it comes to food, and he told me some interesting facts about digestion and how to make room in one's stomach faster than normal by laying on the left side.

“Is this the stuff people need to know for your personal training work and such?” I asked.

“Personal training stuff?” Max gave a look of puzzlement then laughed, “I think I said that sarcastically a while back. A few guys pay me to help them gain weight and eat big. So sort of a personal trainer, but kind of the opposite effect that most would expect.”

“Ohhh, this tactic makes a bit more sense now,” I replied, continuing to eat the ice cream.

“Well, I thought if I encouraged you to experience the ability to eat as much as you want without restriction, you’ll realize that you don’t have to eat everything. It sounds like you are always hungry, because you are always denying that you want food.”

“Hmm, I suppose that’s true,” I went to scoop up more ice cream then realized I’d eaten all of it.

“How are you feeling?” Max asked, rubbing the top of my belly.

I felt a grumble deep in my stomach.”I can definitely feel my belly full of food, but I also could definitely do the whole thing all over again.”

Max considered me for a moment, then started listing off some random digestion facts again. He put his head on my stomach again, lifted my shirt off my body, listened again, took his hands and gently opened my mouth wide and peered down my throat, until I started laughing and he couldn't hold my mouth open.

“What are you doing? You think my stomach is gonna speak back to you in English?” I joked.

“No… but I wonder if I could better understand your hunger if I could better see inside your gut. Hmmm, maybe even just peering down your esophagus…”

“Don’t you need a fancy scope for that or something?”

“Not if you’re willing to relax your throat for a moment…” Max said. I shrugged, and he straddled my lap and shoved his head into my mouth. I could feel his energetic breathing against my tongue and wondered how on earth he could see anything down my throat with his head blocking light from the outside.

I heard a muffled “I’d like to see a bit further…” and felt him push his whole body forward into me. His shoulders shoved their way into my maw and stretched my jaw wide like an opera singer. I choked a little bit feeling his scratchy hair make contact with my uvula and the bottom of my tongue. I reflexively closed my lips over his skin and swallowed as the hair and breath tickled my maw. I realized that my peristalsis must have taken a bit of control, because I was surprised to see that I was looking down at his lower back with his arms pinned to his sides. I felt his nipples and pectoral muscles sliding against my tongue and felt his head squeezed tightly through my lower esophagus. What was going on? Though the sensation was filling me with dopamine and adrenaline, I realized that somehow my body was getting ready to eat a whole human, so I mentally prepared myself to try and regurgitate him. But instead I felt him force himself deeper into my throat, as his feet pushed off against the floor, and his upper torso wriggled and squirmed to slide deeper into me. I felt a sloshing in my gut, and heard a muffled intake of air and the continuation of more digestion facts being spewed out of Max’s ever curious mind obsessed with digestion.

Since Max seemed so intent on getting inside my stomach, and I knew I would need to breathe soon, I decided to help him out. I lifted his legs up over my head and felt gravity pulling him down my throat. I pulled his gym shorts and such off him and felt the interesting texture of his little belly over his abs, mixed with gym sweat and belly hair, felt past his hard on and groin, and his thick thighs as they all passed over my tongue and against my soft palate. My stomach finally began to feel full, as it sloshed with its soupy contents of dinner encasing Max’s squirming upper body. I knew Max’s hands had been freed from the tight grip of my esophagus as my inner stomach felt a peculiar tickling sensation with Max rubbing it from the inside. I felt him poke around and heard his muffled casual observations about my stomach.

I felt Max’s muscles seize up as he put his legs together tightly and let them slide easily down my throat. I felt his cold feet tickle my tongue, uvula and esophagus until they finally plopped into my stomach and I felt my throat open enough for me to exhale and breathe in more oxygen finally.

I took a few moments to gather my thoughts and catch my breath, feeling Max move around and curl up into a ball inside my tight stomach. I looked down to see the bulge his head made toward the top of my belly, with other odd bumps sticking out that I assumed were his knees and feet pressing up against my stomach walls. I felt his clammy hands push up against my stomach as he surveyed his new situation.

“Max, I forgot to write this craving down first.” I said, jokingly.

“Don’t worry I already did!” I heard him shout back, hearing it almost come up through my own throat. I stared in confusion at the opened notepad next to me and flipped to the last written note that read ‘Ice cream and everything else isn’t satisfying enough. Maybe eating me will do the trick. - Max’

My belly gurgled in surprise, “You planned for me to eat you?”

“I did shove myself down your throat, didn’t I?”

“But why would you -”

“Hey you didn’t try and stop me, bud,” he replied. I felt a pat against my belly, and shivered a little bit.

“Yeah, but I thought you just wanted to glance inside, but you wriggled in deeper!”

“Are you mad that I did?” Max asked. I felt him shifting his weight inside my gut and resting into me.

I considered the events of the night. I had really craved a day to just eat all I wanted, and Max gave all that to me and more. Even though I definitely didn’t expect him to force his way onto the menu, my belly felt much more satiated than it had been. “... I’m not mad at you… just want to make sure you know what you’re getting into… but I do have a confession.”

“What is it?” Max asked, shifting around and pressing his head up against the place where my hand was resting on my belly.

“I could go for some orange sherbert right now… I think your diet tactic failed.” My stomach added a large grumble and groan in agreement.

“Failed for you, maybe. But I’m cozy!” Max tried to stretch out a bit and I watched my stomach bulges shift in a funny manner, and felt my belly tighten and knead Max in response. “Plus, I think I figured out why you’ve been so hungry lately.”

“And what have you discovered?”

“That you should have eaten me ages ago! Once I’m digested into belly fat you’ll have more energy stored in your cells for longer, so you won’t be as hungry all the time! It’s simple science,” Max replied matter of factly.

“I’m not sure that science is sound, but as long as you’re happy, I’m fat and happy.”

“If you don’t think the science is sound, maybe you ought to repeat the experiment. Have a cheat day every once in a while,” Max replied, as he curled into a tight ball again and let my stomach relax and get to work over him. “I know I’ve been seeing that cute guy at the gym drooling over your gut, you know, the one who always wears that green hat? I’m sure he’d love to be a part of your next cheat day once you’ve had enough of your salads and diet again.”

I enjoyed the peace of feeling Max getting comfortable deep in my gut. I took deep breaths and felt my diaphragm move Max around slightly as my chest expanded and contracted. “Maybe I’ll ask him. But I’ll leave it up to him whether he wants to take it as far as you did tonight.” I rubbed my belly and stared, mesmerized at the lumpy spots on my belly indicating Max’s body relaxing against my stomach walls. I felt his heartbeat in polyrhythm against mine, with his breathing patterns tickling my stomach walls. I tasted the lasting flavors of his skin on my tongue, mixed with ice cream and other sustenance I had downed throughout the evening. Good thing we worked out first, to balance out this sharp intake in calories. So I suppose even if I had a cheat day from my diet, eating a whole human balances out to be healthy, right?

[herehavesomeheadcanons]

Hihi! I saw you were taking requests and so I was wondering if I could have Poe or Sigma fluff (and maybe angst if you're up for it, you don't have to!) hcs? Like where you are sick or smth and they take care of you? And possibly how they make you feel better? Can I also be 🍥 anon if you're okay with it?

Whew, back to writing requests. Sorry for the long wait, but my brain shut down after I finally finished that Christmas event. I'll try to get on with the requests still waiting in my inbox!

Anyway, fluff is absolutely my specialty, and these two dorks are the perfect characters to take care of a sick s/o! I had the idea floating around in my brain, so I added an accidental confession for Poe as well <3

Edgar Allen Poe and Sigma taking care of a sick reader~

As usual, snatched the images off Pinterest

Poe

🤎🦝 Poor Poe freaked out when he heard you were sick. He immediately rushed over to your house and insisted on taking care of you! It doesn't matter how many times you try to push him away and tell him he'll get sick too, he's determined to take care of you!

🤎🦝 The reason for this is that Ranpo gave him the idea. Poe wanted to know how he could win your affections, and Ranpo suggested that he should go and see if you needed care, since you called in sick that morning.

🤎🦝 So now you're being forced to lay on the couch while Poe spoon-feeds you soup that he made himself. I don't see why you would complain, except if you're one of those Akutagawa kinnies that won't admit you're sick until you're dead.

🤎🦝 Poe insists on doing everything for you. To be fair, he is a pretty big help, considering it feels like someone fucked with the Earth's gravity settings and turned them all the way up. Oh, and you're delirious with fever, so no amount of willpower is going to make you able to do chores.

🤎🦝 As you feared, Poe gets sick too. Somehow, he still managed to drag himself to your place, so now you're both lying inert on different couches with a bad flu. You have some absolutely hilarious conversations while you're both completely out of it with fever hallucinations. Unfortunately, you probably won't remember them.

🤎🦝 After a few days of this bullshit, you're starting to feel better. Poe isn't, but your head is starting to clear. One night, you wake up to him rambling on and on about something to Karl. As you listen, you realize he's talking about you.

🤎🦝 "Oh Karl... What am I to do?" *Karl noises* "Yes I suppose you're right... You're so wise, Karl!" *More Karl noises*

🤎🦝 If he didn't talk to Karl like this all the time, you'd probably suspect that the fever had addled his brain to the point of no return. You decide to speak up and see what this nonsense is all about.

🤎🦝 "Hey, Poe, what are you going on about?" "Y/N! You're awake?" "Obviously. Now what are you asking Karl about?" "Oh, I was just trying to figure out what to do about my feelings for you." "...your what?"

🤎🦝 It takes a moment for Poe to realize what he just said. Once he does, he hides under the the blanket for ages. He refuses to come back out and speak to you for the rest of the day. He won't even eat! He's going to need lots of reassurance after such an embarrassing mishap!

Sigma

🤍🎰 Sigma doesn't really have a lot of time on his hands, being the manager of the casino and all. So, when he hears that you're sick, he has an existential crisis. Should he take care of you? Stay? What if he gets sick too? Can the casino run smoothly without him?

🤍🎰 Seeing how worried he is, some of the people working directly under him (I couldn't think of a good word, ok? Leave me alone-) convince him to go look after you. They can handle running the casino in his absence.

🤍🎰 Let's get one thing straight: Sigma is a fabulous caretaker. He just has the instinct for it, I guess. You'll be perfectly fine under his care. He gets you any medicine you need, cooks for you, does chores, and anything else you need. He has absurd multitasking skills, and will keep everything neat and orderly to ensure your speedy recovery.

🤍🎰 He is an absolute sucker for you, so you could probably get away with a lot while sick. You want him to read to you? On it. You want him to sing you to sleep? He'll try his best. He won't do anything that could get him sick, though, so no physical contact. Sorry, but he can't afford to get sick too.

🤍🎰 He is rigorous about keeping your stress to a minimum. He sets limits on who can visit you, how often they can visit, and for how long. He's like your nurse or something. You know Madam Pomfrey from the Harry Potter series? Yeah he's like that.

[roohuh]

💌Only The Best Ones💌

Summary: You Ominis and Sebastian try and understand how you lost all memory of Ominis

Warnings: none

Part 2 of the Obliviate series

“Well it’s no use covering what you don’t remember since you can’t remember. So I guess what do you remember?” Sebastian asks.

“From when? That is a broad topic. When did I meet Ominis? Let’s start with that.” You sit cross legged on the stone floor of the Undercroft pulling some blankets and pillows from a nearby crate.

“Do you remember how those got there?” Ominis asks eagerly. You purse your lips and think hard.

“Oh well now that you mention it, I don’t.” You say pensively.

“Do you remember Solomon?” Sebastian asks in a low sorrowful voice. You nod and give a soft “yes”

“Do you remember why you were at the catacombs that day that IT happened?” Ominis asks

“I remember receiving an owl…” you pause trying to remember who the owl was from. Everything in Ominis is screaming at him to take you in his arms and shield you from this. He wants to protect you, hold you, comfort you but judging by your attitude toward him that would do more harm than good. To you he is an absolute stranger.

“What about the first time I brought you down here? Do you remember Ominis throwing a fit over that?” Sebastian is questioning you relentlessly.

“I remember you teaching me confringo and the undercroft but no Ominis.” You shake your head and turn to the silent companion, “Ominis, you said you knew who did this?”

“I do.” He slowly answers. “Or at least I think I do. Your list of enemies is a long one but this-this is targeted. No, this was certainly my family.” Ominis lets out a shaky breath taking your hand still bruised from the heel of his mother. You wince at the pain which Ominis mistakes as a reaction to him.

“I am sorry.” He stammers, beginning to lose the battle with his emotions.

“No! Do not be sorry. I will not hear those words from you.” You insist on taking his hand once again. “I just have a bit of a bruise on that hand” you explain trying to comfort Ominis.

“It is quite the bruise too.” Sebastian remarks taking your hand from Ominis inspecting the welt.

“What happened?” The blonde worriedly hoveres.

“Oh well-you know- I am not entirely sure now that I think about it.” You all three stand in silence for a moment trying to puzzle through this problem each in your own way.

“We should probably figure out when this happened. Fairly recently by the looks of that hand.” Sebastian offers “When was your last letter from MC?” He asks Ominis. Reaching into his robe Ominis retrieves a large stack of letters, handing them to you.

“They are all dated. You should be able to find the latest one although I think it was a week and a half ago.”

“Do you keep every letter on you?” Sebastian laughs at his blushing friend.

“Not everyone, just the best ones.” Ominis awkwardly mumbles, giving Sebastian a shut up or die glare. You scan the letters for the date which you neatly left in the top right corner of each letter. The handwriting is certainly yours but you have no recollection of the words. Chewing your lip you read through the sweet  sentiments penned onto the parchment.

“Do you remember anyone coming to your home in the last few weeks?” Sebastian continued his interrogation.

“A tall blonde lady?” Ominis offers.

“I do not remember any lady but I do recall someone coming to visit me while my family was away. All I can recall is my house elf telling me there was someone in the parlor and rushing to see them but then it’s more of this a cursed brain fog.” You cross your arms in frustration, shaking your head, willing yourself to clear up the memories. Ominis moves to comfort you but you pull away shyly

“I am sorry. I can tell by these letters that my affections for you were real and passionate even, however” you pause trying to decide how to proceed. Ominis opens his mouth to speak and you cut him off.

“However, my inability to recall any of my time knowing you makes it hard to feel anything towards you more than I would a person I have just met. From what I can tell you seem kind but this is all so much. I just need some personal space. It’s nothing against you but it is a lot to take in finding out you have a forgotten lover and all.” Your words trail off at the end worried you had caused offense. Chest tightening you fight the strong confused urge to kiss him. It feels as if your body remembers him but your mind is clouded.

“Of course MC. I do apologize. For everything.” He stammers.

“Hopefully we did not study together often or I am in trouble.” You laugh trying to lighten the mood.

“Almost exclusively.” Sebastian says knowingly.

“MC I am-“ Ominis begins through tears before you cut him off

“Stop that! None of this is your fault it is obvious to me that you and your family's values do not align. I am also guessing this was more of an assault on you then one on me. So stop apologizing.”

“Once we get this spell reversed you two will be back to your nauseating behavior and we will all laugh about this.” Sebastian offers. Laughter fills the room as the three of you start to feel the exhaustion from the long day. Ominis quickly wipes his tears inwardly cursing his own weakness.

“I vote we all retire for the evening and take a crack at this problem with a night of sleep behind us.” You suggest. Sebastian heartily agrees while Ominis quietly nods knowing he will not be sleeping tonight. You offer Ominis the letters back a red tint creeping across your face even if he had already committed them all to memory it felt strange giving him the love letters back. Ominis took them gently being careful not to brush your hand in the process. He rifles through the stack gingerly feeling the edges of each. Eventually he pulls one from the stack handing the rest back to you. “Keep these and read through them maybe it will help you remember.” You hum then thank Ominis curiously eyeing the one he holds close to his chest.

[kateac12]

Jerome and Jeremiah having a daughter would include...

Jerome

He's over the moon to learn that he's having a girl, and he'll do anything to protect his "little princess"

Will spend hours just looking at his baby girl sleep in her crib

Always takes her to the park and out for ice cream

"Is that boy in your class still picking on you? Don't worry princess, I'll take take care of them" *winks*

Almost never yells (except when his criminal professional life is really stressing him out)

Will apologize over and over for losing his cool. Makes it up by making her favorite meal, or taking her out to do something fun like ice skating, mini-golf, paint-balling

Goes all out for holidays. Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, you name it. Jerome didn't have those things growing up, and he'll be damned if he doesn't make his child feel special

Will happily help with projects (especially arts and crafts). His daughter will likely get first place in the science fair for making something blow up

The type of dad that will definitely excited to take pictures of his daughter going to prom (and of course, she'll be going with friends, because Jerome will kill threaten any boy that tries to get close to his baby). He knows how boys are, and he refuses to let his daughter get her heart broken by a dumb teenager

"Aww you look so beautiful in that dress I stole got for you." "Dad, stop, you're embarrassing me!"

"Dad, I'm 17. When are you going to let me have a boyfriend?" "I already told you that you can't date until you're 25!"

Jeremiah (pre-spray)

Acts like he doesn't care much about the baby

High key terrified that his little girl will be like his brother or mom

Over time, he warms up to his child, but he's still a very distant father

"Daddy, do you want to do a puzzle with me?" "My dear, I'm a bit busy with work. Ecco, can you play with her?"

Homeschools the kid in his bunker, because he's too paranoid to let them out

Jeremiah will absolutely insist on his daughter going to university, because education is very important to him

Will help with homework

It's only when something drastic happens (such as his daughter getting injured at school or kidnapped for ransom) that he starts caring more for his baby

"Sweetheart, I know I wasn't the best father when you were growing up. I really do love you. I'm sorry"

He tries to make an effort to spend more time with his daughter, like watching a movie with her or taking her out to eat

Isn't super strict with dating, but he will insist that the boy his daughter is interested in meets up with him first

Jeremiah (post-spray)

It would be a stretch to say that he loves his child. It's more like, in his own very twisted way, he cares about his daughter, but only if she's useful

Is a more hands on father than (pre-spray) Jeremiah. But it's not a good thing because he is just trying to gauge how skilled and intelligent his daughter is

He will absolutely want to know what his daughter's skills are. Is she good at math and science like him? Is she a poet? Is she drawn more to the arts?

Any skill that she has will be utilized for his personal gain

If she doesn't have any talents? She better stay out of his way and not cause any problems

He doesn't care as much about getting an education. After all, why use those brains for college when you can use your intelligence for helping him do crime?

Will make his daughter pull all nighters (because he needs help figuring out how to destroy buildings around Gotham)

"Dad, can I go to sleep now? It's 4 AM." "You can sleep when I successfully take over Gotham."

If a boy likes her, he'll kidnap meet the boy. "You have two choices. Either follow me as your leader, or you die."

If the boy agrees to follow Jeremiah, he will dig up some dirt on the boy's family, or embezzle them for money

"Dad! Please don't hurt him! I love him!" "Sweetheart, anyone who's around my family needs to declare their undying loyalty to me"

[massivedrickhead]

Hi hello, could you do (25) “I didn’t mean to wake you.  Go back to sleep.” I am very here for all the cute and soft sleepy prompts you've been doing 🥺💙

Thanks so much! It's like this list of prompts was made for me 😅

This is another one that's short and sweet!

25. “I didn’t mean to wake you.  Go back to sleep.”

Prompt taken from here

Read on AO3

-

The sound of a thud followed by muffled cursing woke Chloe up.

“Bec?” She mumbled, one eye open as she searched for a recognisable figure in the darkness. “Is that you?”

“Sorry,” Beca whispered. “I didn’t mean to wake you, go back to sleep.”

Chloe reached blindly on her nightstand until her hand came into contact with her lamp and she switched it on. The light was harsh and she had to blink several times to clear her vision.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Beca said, sitting on the edge of the bed and removing her shirt.

“You’ll just keep fumbling around in the dark otherwise,” Chloe said, trying to get back into a comfortable position. “What time is it?” She asked through a yawn.

“Late,” Beca said, sounding as tired as Chloe felt. “Like 1:30.”

Chloe groaned and Beca crawled into bed beside her.

“I’m sorry,” Beca said. “I really tried to be quiet.”

“I know,” Chloe said. “I always sleep lightly when you aren’t home.”

They shared a quick kiss, and Beca leaned across the bed to switch out the light.

“How come you’re back so late?” Chloe asked, eyes closing as Beca pulled her close. 

“Theo,” Beca said, the annoyance clear in her voice. “He’s stressed about the album. I mean, we all are, but he’s next level.”

“Want me to beat him up?” Chloe mumbled. 

Beca let out a soft laugh and kissed whichever bit of Chloe’s skin she could reach without moving. “Please.”

“Thank you for calling to say you’d be late,” Chloe said.

“I told you I would,” Beca said. “I promised I’d do better.”

“I still appreciate it,” she said. “Did you make much progress on the album?” She asked, trying not to fall back to sleep. She knew Beca liked to debrief when she got home from work. She knew if she didn’t, she was at risk of being awake for hours and spiralling.

“We can talk about it in the morning,” Beca said. “Go back to sleep, you must be exhausted.”

“Sure?” Chloe asked.

“I’m sure,” Beca said. 

“Promise you’ll sleep too? If I wake up in an hour to pee and find you in your office I’ll be pissed.”

“I promise,” Beca said. She had no desire to hide in her office and throw herself into her work. No desire to sit and pour over track after track, each time waiting for Theo’s response that it wasn’t quite there yet. She had no desire to be anywhere other than right here. 

After their argument the week before, about how Beca was giving too much of herself to her job, not properly taking care of herself, and leaving Chloe to pick up what was left at the end of the day, Beca knew that work wasn’t her top priority anymore. 

Chloe was.

Really, she always had been, but Beca had gotten a little lost along the way.

“You’re still awake,” Chloe mumbled. “I can hear your brain whirring.”

“Sorry,” Beca said, laughing softly. “I was just thinking about you.”

“A likely story,” Chloe replied, trying not to smile.

“I was,” Beca said. “Believe me or don’t, but you have to be up at six. Go to sleep.”

“I can’t sleep when you’re thinking,” Chloe replied.

“Oh my god,” Beca said, laughing. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Tell me about your day,” Chloe said. “Please.”

Beca sighed, and she started talking. She told her about the pointless meeting that could have been an email. Told her about the intern who’d managed to spill an entire order of seven coffees in the elevator. Told her about the recording session that went on for hours and hours because Theo insisted she could do better. 

“I will fight him you know,” Chloe said, her voice becoming mumbly the way it always did when she was about to fall asleep.

“I know,” Beca said. “It’s why he’s so scared of you.”

Chloe let out a soft laugh that was closer to a grunt.

“What else?” She asked, failing to stifle a yawn,

“There’s nothing else,” Beca said. “That was my full day. Do you want to tell me about yours?”

Chloe’s light snores were the only response Beca got.

[clever-and-unique-name]

Oh. Something in me is snarling and snapping. Okay.

Sorry, most of you aren't going to have a lot of context for this because it would take far too long to explain and these feelings are melting my brain. The short story is I made a discord server 4 years ago for friends with OSDDID and just left it yesterday.

I still have a couple friends there still. So I've been kept abreast of the conversations that happened in the wake of me leaving. Because nothing can ever be discussed openly, to the face of who it's about, right? That's a big part of why I left in the first place.

So, some things, to recap, mostly for my sanity. Sorry, this is going to get extremely long, because I want to say all I need to say.

Initially, I made the server to foster a small, intimate community of people with OSDDID. One of those people is someone who groomed me as a teenager.

Over time, some of the people there helped me realize I was in a toxic relationship with that person. When things finally came to a head and that person left the server (2? years ago?), I was...very not okay. But I had people there supporting me through it, and we got closer through the fallout. I am genuinely thankful for their support through it. It would have been exponentially more rough without them.

Time passed. I went from being unemployed to working full time. I had less time to spend socializing online, partially due to the strict divide between our work-parts and home-parts. I began to neglect my friendships, and though we tried--god, we really did try--we just couldn't figure out how to talk more than maybe once a week, when the right alignment of parts were out to be Home and Social in the way we felt we needed to be. And it just dwindled from there.

At some point around there, I started talking to B. We bonded over our shared love of art and character creation. She was welcoming to all of my parts, insisted on talking to anyone who was present. A novelty for me, to be individually recognized and not have to hide anyone. She got me on my stressful days and rough nights--vulnerable times I didn't feel I could share with people previously. We have talked every day for two years.

Resentment began to grow from the people I'd previously been close to. Obviously...it hurts to be told that someone doesn't have space for you like they used to, while they're clearly engaging in a close and intimate friendship with another person. I tried to reassure that I still cared about people, and tried to reach out when I could, but it kept cropping up with different people in the server: you don't care about me anymore, we're clearly not friends anymore, well you can make room for her so why not me. It was almost like clockwork for a bit, once a month someone new would step forward and I would try to put out the fire again.

(The thing is, every single one of these people expressed that they completely understood and sympathized/empathized with my limited social ability. They insisted that our level of contact was fine, until it apparently wasn't and they confronted me about it. So as I was having a conversation with one person with them saying "No it's totally okay that we don't talk much, I still love and care about you sooo much!", I was fielding a convo from a different person who had said the same thing to me weeks/months ago, talking about how I had actually been horribly neglecting them and that we weren't friends anymore.)

Then around a year ago, that person I mentioned, the one I knew as a teenager, created a new account to bypass my blocks, and reached out to me again. Trying to "apologize" for something, the subject of which had me questioning if someone I knew was tipping them off to things I was processing semi-privately. Right at the crescendo of all the other social issues.

Lit match. Powder keg. Boom.

I withdrew hard. From absolutely everyone but B. I didn't know who to trust with their reassurances of "we're totally okay, love and care about you!" I didn't know who harbored resentments. I knew, from past experiences, that there were people in the server prone to gossiping with each other, and I had stepped on their toes by pulling away from them. I mean. That's how we had bonded in the first place--by us privately talking about the person I knew, among others. You know what they say about bad karma.

I all but disappeared from the server, owner in name only. I fought the urge to delete it, and instead promoted others to mods so I could further remove myself. Every time I attempted to talk there, I was overwhelmed with anxiety to the point of physical illness. I tried to convince myself that it was all in my head, that I was just having attachment trauma, that I could sit with my discomfort and everything would be fine. More and more, it felt like the only person I could truly trust to be emotionally attached to was B. Out of 20-odd people, 6 had heel-turned and told me I hurt them with my distance. I was just waiting on the rest to do the same. And waiting. And waiting.

And suddenly, a couple days ago, another server "friend" (I hesitate to call anyone that because it was impressed upon me, multiple times, that I was not being a friend to people) blocked me. I found out when I went to send them a meme and discovered I couldn't. I thought I was used to it, I thought I couldn't be blindsided anymore. But it had been a while since it had happened; I thought everyone who had a limit with me had reached it.

I checked our convo history. Yet again: us talking about how much we understood each other, how we're both prone to isolation, how we still cared about each other.

Upset, I told B, who was also friends with them. Who immediately found out she was blocked too.

So we both decided to leave the server. We announced it yesterday afternoon, and hung around to talk a bit, wanting to leave as little confusion as possible without outright calling anyone out. We knew there were people there who didn't know about any of this going on (I'm so sorry for all the drama that's been dumped on your feet, guys.) We also knew there were people there who had been talking about all this behind our backs--we just didn't know how many. Again, the suspicion and speculation and "when will it happen again" was really what was eating us alive.

We left amicably. And then as soon as the doors were closed, of course people stepped forward to talk about how I had just stopped caring about them to focus on B instead. As if it was that simple. As if they had stopped at any point to talk to me about it (and the ones who did vehemently denied that it was an issue of comparing our friendship to mine with B.)

Caring was never the issue. I cared about people until they blocked me, or outright told me I wasn't a friend to them anymore. I kept caring about people, against my fears that it would end like that again, because it's just my nature to care. But caring in silence doesn't feel like much of anything, does it? I know that. I'm sorry for the way I've made people feel from that. But connection is a two-way street--where the hell were you? B has talked to me every day for two years. When someone talks, I respond. If you wanted me there, where the hell were you?

[actuallyastingray]

Spiderman/DC crossovers

So i’ve noticed that whenever someone writes a crossover between Spiderman and DC in general, I notice that he’s always dropped in Gotham City. Granted, I can understand why. Batman and Spidey have similar origin stories. They both have the combination of brains, brawn, and technological edge that keeps them alive against criminals. Bruce already has 12+ kids, so he has experience taking in and housing other vigilantes. With the release of the MCU Spidey and Tony being his mentor/father figure, it’s not hard to realize that Bruce Wayne is the Tony Stark of DC and people want this to echo. That said, I like variety and I started thinking about what would happen if Spidey ended up in a different DC city. This is my personal take on what would occur. 

These would basically start with Peter getting zapped into another universe out of nowhere and has to make do. Also, I am not sticking with one specific incarnation of any characters (sorry MCU fanbase) but instead trying to create a character amalgam based on various depictions across comics, movies, and games. In other words, I am taking certain liberties with characters/locations, but considering this is all a total AU, I feel like I am entitled to do so.

Metropolis:

Spidey would likely start living in the Suicide Slums seeing as he can’t afford his own apartment yet. He’s grown up in New York (and SS is based of East Side NY) so having to deal with this lifestyle isn’t too hard for him.

He would make friends with his landlady, Natasha Irons, and her uncle pretty quick

Peter would try to apply at the Daily Planet for photography, using a resume that isn’t totally inaccurate but he’s hoping nobody goes looking to see if the Daily Bugle exists in this world

Perry wouldn’t hire him as a photographer, he’s got Jimmy already. He would more likely hire Peter as the on-site IT repairman and maintenance guy to keep the computers running and up to date. Pete is thrilled by this

Needless to say, despite losing his intended job, he still makes friends with Jimmy. Lois takes a bit of warming up, but she comes around eventually

Lois knows Peter is homeless (Ace reporter on the case) and she starts finding ways to help him out, like dragging him out to lunch with her and Jimmy or bringing him things from home. Peter promptly annoys her to death by insisting he’s alright and doesn’t need help.

Metropolis is a lot different from New York. Peter is pretty stunned the first time he debuts and gets praised and cheered on instead of scorned as a menace. It’s a bittersweet feeling that he had to get blasted into another universe in order to be appreciated

Most of the criminals are used to going up against Superman, so they have some serious power behind their punches. Spidey is very unused to not having to pull his own punches (cause Spiderman canonically has to hold back in order to not take someone's head off)

Inversely, there are a lot of superheroes as well. Supes and the Kryptofam aside, Metropolis has plenty of non-Kryptonian superheroes (Steel, Black Lightning, Booster Gold) so Spidey would definitely run into them and start making friends. I mean he’s already got the Metropolis red and blue down

Spidey would unintentionally start saving Lois, Jimmy, and Perry from danger just like Superman did during his early years. Clark is lowkey salty that Lois is teasing him about “switching out for a younger model”. 

Lex Luthor is also pretty steamed that he has to deal with ANOTHER superhero getting in his way. He would be privately impressed that Spiderman can handle most situations with brains over brawn as opposed to Superman, but a hero is a hero.

Jimmy is the first to find out Peter’s identity, mostly because he doesn’t have the “awkward reporter” identity on lock the dame way Clark does. 

Jimmy insists on being Spidey’s wingman, because hey he’s already Superman’s best buddy, why stop at one?

Lois is the second person to find out (mostly because she can always tell when Jimmy is lying to her). She is a little mad that someone else beat her to the finale, but she would by now have warmed up to the skinny IT nerd.

Clark is the last person to find out. He and Spiderman would meet somewhere on the rooftops and have a heart to heart. Peter feels safe venting to Supes about being from a different universe, and how he has been struggling to survive in a strange universe and being a good hero at the same time.

At this point, I feel the story would move out of a Metropolis/Superman crossover and into a full Justice League one because Supes is going to do his best to help Spidey get home. Thus, he needs to get the JL involved

Star City

I don’t know much about Star City’s layout, but I assume it is built like most cities in Northern California. Peter would likely find a low-income apartment and get a decent paying job to make ends meet.

At some point, he meets Roy Harper who just got back from rehab and finds that his old apartment is being rented out by a skinny little twerp who reminds him of Nightwing

For the record, as much as I liked New52 Roy with the Outlaws, I also enjoyed pre-52 Roy being a successful father and leader of the Outsiders. My take would be Roy just returning from a forced stint in rehab while Ollie and Dinah watch Lian. He didn’t exactly part with them on good terms and is afraid of what they and Lian with think of him.

Roy and Peter end up living together after Roy finds out Peter can barely keep up with rent and uses his detective job to help make ends meet. Peter realizes this was how Aunt May used to feel when he was the one paying the bills at home.

Commence hijinks of Roy and Peter trying to pull off dual identity jobs while not telling each other

Roy and Peter both know things aren’t copasetic with each other. Roy is still struggling with his history as a drug addict and is still avoiding Ollie, while Pete is starting to feel homesick and worry about the people he left behind. (Don’t worry, they end up talking and making each other feel better)

Roy’s friends and family keep showing up and making it hard to keep a secret identity: Jason pops up with beer from time to time, Nightwing shows up in full costume not knowing Roy is not living alone, Artemis is pissed when she thinks Roy abandoned Lian and picked up another kid (yeah I put Artemis in the DCU, sue me if I like her), and Dinah just coming over to talk and finding out she has two angsty boys that need help instead of just one

Star City has fewer criminals and more assassins than other cities. I would reason Peter isn’t prepared to deal with Merlyn or Slade and takes a bad hit

Roy throws apprehension to the wind and books it to Queen Mansion in order to save his friends life. This results in a whirlwind of everybody freaking out when Roy shows up with a bloody, dying teenager pleading with Ollie for help (Ollie, I should mention, was not aware Roy was back until this point)

Dinah is the only one who stays calm enough to help Peter while Roy, Ollie, Mia, and Artemis all have a family feud moment.

The end result would be Roy getting back together with his family, taking back custody of Lian, gaining temporary guardianship of Peter, and getting back in touch with the superhero community. 

As before, I’m sure Ollie would drop it to the JL that Peter is from another dimension and he needs some help, but brags that if they can’t get him home, he’s one-upping Batman on the adoption chart

Central City

Yes, I know Keystone also exists. But considering the two are in different states and Spidey doesn’t have superspeed, so I’m restricting it to Central.

He manages to get a well-off apartment, unfortunately it’s right across the street from the Keystone Saloon. He manages to lies about his age in order to get work as a cleaner/barkeep. (For the record, I can totally see Peter’s chemistry skills coming in handy here with drink mixing. Keep in mind that Flash, who is a chemist by trade, once worked as the barkeep too)

The Flash Rogues are pretty pissed that the owner hired a kid to work the counter, but after getting some (not at all believed) reassurance from Peter that he’s just small for his age, they decide to keep an eye on him while there

Meanwhile, outside the bar, the Rogues are a bit surprised/annoyed that a non-speed related newbie is foiling their heists. That lasts all of five seconds when they realize Spiderman is another minor.

Spidey, who is used to crazed egomaniacal maniacs swearing to kill him ten different ways, is very put off with the Rogues acting like overbearing uncles to him (”I know it’s finals week kid, WTF are you doing out this late” “Kid fix your damn costume and patch yourself up before you do this again, you're gonna get hurt” “Kid do you even eat?”)

They warm up to each other, especially when Spidey offhandedly mentions he’s not used to people being so nice to him (cue Captain Cold to assume child abuse)

The Flash family proceed to make Spidey’s head spin. Barry, Jay, and sometimes Wally stand still long enough to have casual conversation, but Iris, Jay, and Bart are a different story. 

Barry starts to suspect Spiderman is hiding something. He doesn’t follow him home out of respect, but after talking with Cold during a heist, he starts to subscribe to the “child abuse” theory

The fact that Peter is more or less living bare minimum with fewer calories to fuel his healing factor doesn’t help. Those bruises after a fight aren’t healing as fast. It also doesn’t help that he’s showing up to work with half healed injuries.

The ruse is up when Trickster barges into Peter’s apartment one night in order to settle the debate and finds him still in costume patching up after a fight with a non-Rogue villain. 

The Rogues proceed to haul Peter over to Keystone and dump him on Barry Allen (” Here, take this. He’s not allowed back out until he’s been fed, healed up, and fixed his suit. Don’t make us come back here Flash”)

Barry and Iris get the full story from Peter while they patch him up. Peter is pretty surprised that dimensional travel isn’t the weirdest thing Flash has ever done (the guy has created parallel universes for crying out loud)

Peter is very self-conscious about eating enough to maintain his healing factor and metabolism, until he realizes he’s among people who deal with the same problems in day-to-day life outside the house. It’s a touching moment

Once again, queue Justice League to swoop in and take over.

Yes I know not everybody is used to the Flash Rogues being so close with Flash, but I grew up with this particular variant of the characters and I like that it’s a change in dynamic between heroes and criminals

Coast City

Again, I’m not super familiar with Coast City other than it is DC’s take on Californian cities.

Peter takes a job as a delivery driver to make ends meet. One of the people he delivers to more than most is Hal Jordan (because I assume Hal is just like any other mid 30′s bachelor and prefers to order take out instead of cook for himself)

Hal is extremely put off by the pizza delivery boy who looks like he could be a clone or long lost son

By comparison, he is only mildly annoyed by the arrival of a new vigilante in Coast City. (As far as I know, Coast City doesn’t really have any hometown villains. The majority of the bad guys who attack are aliens who are after Jordan for being a member of the GL corps) Hal never really had time to go out patrolling like Spiderman does, so he doesn’t care at first

Ultimately, due to teasing from the other Lanterns and Carol about “staking his turf and laying down the law with the newbie” Hal goes out as GL to talk with Spidey. Halfway through their “conversation”, one of Hal’s enemies shows up to try and settle the score

Spidey and GL team up, but Spidey isn’t exactly prepared to deal with the things a power ring can do. His costume gets shredded and immediately gets ousted as the pizza guy less than a week after dropping in Coast City

Hal is having a crisis over this. (What if this kid is his long lost son after all? I’m not enough of a bastard to just leave this kid to struggle with homelessness knowing I could help him. Dammit Batman, you are a terrible influence!)

Hal makes Peter quit the pizza gig because, “kid you are way too young to be working anyway and CPS will eat me alive if they find out I was okay with this” 

Hal, predictably, is zero percent ready to be taking care of a fidgety superteen. Like this guy's level of parental incompetence would terrify Batman. Here he is having spontaneously taken in a kid off the streets when he can’t even feed himself.

Carol hears about this and puts him through the wringer about “How to Parent” Queue Hal doing the most ridiculous things from buying cheesy Parenting For Dummies books to attending seminars for single moms

Long story short, he gets his act together over this because if Peter is in fact a lost family relative, he wants to make an impression/make up for lost time (Peter meanwhile, is oblivious to this thought process and doesn’t think he and Hal look that much alike. They do XD)

Hal and Peter having a bonding moment over at Ferris Air, with Hal taking Peter flying in one of his jets. Hal is shocked that Peter is so familiar with and enthused by the inner workings and considers pestering Carol about getting Peter a position as a mechanic. Carol says not until he graduates.

Word gets out about Spidey and Hal slowly, mostly because Hal is the only hero in Coast City and manages to keep his secrets under wraps. Batman mostly figures out the truth due to Hal’s change in character (Sorry Bats, can’t be on for monitor duty tonight, I gotta get home and cook for my ki - I mean, for Carol. Cause she’s the one who over at my place. Totally. No one else)

Flash and Green Arrow show up in Coast City to throw Hal a “Welcome to Parenthood” party. Hal is not amused, but Carol very much is.

Peter finally breaks to Hal, and then the JL about being from another universe. Hal is pretty crushed about Peter not being a blood relative due to entertaining the fantasy for so long. 

The League starts trying to find ways to send Peter back. Meanwhile, he starts parading Spiderman around during League meetings going on about how he proved them wrong and being a successful parent. It especially annoys Batman. (”What’s the matter Bats? Mad that you aren’t one of a kind anymore?”)

Fawcett City

For starters, I’m really not sure which variation of the Marvel Family to use: the New52 or Pre-52 versions. It makes it kinda hard to nail down plot elements since I go back and forth. 

I like the idea of Peter and Billy being homeless together and helping each other out, Peter being an older brother which is something he has no experience with.

That said, I’m not super familiar with how DC handled Billy later in the timeline other then he started growing up, joined the radio station as the host, and met Mary. Might not be the best storyline to use seeing as it seems a bit spotty

I like the idea of the New52 Marvel Family finding Peter out in the cold and inviting him in. Peter is thrust into the role of the awkward older brother with six small children looking up to him

Of course, when they transform in front of him, they aren’t so small anymore.

Despite having a caring family, food, and support, Peter is afraid of telling everyone who he is. The fear of overstaying his welcome keeps him up at night.

Not to mention, the Marvel’s have the crime fighting down cold, meaning there isn’t really a home for Spiderman either.

I think a moment where Peter privately confesses who he is/where he comes from to Billy would set up the story. Now Billy realizes his new big brother is going through the same problems he went through with trying to fit in. 

As Captain Marvel, he tries to find the Marvel (haha) universe via the Rock of Eternity, but gets no results. Now Billy is afraid of telling Peter the bad news because he’s pretty sure Peter is depressed and doesn’t want something to happen.

Billy starts subtly asking Cyborg at the watchtower about research into alternate universes because maybe science can succeed where magic failed

The opportunity for Spidey to shine comes when Dr. Sivana starts up a machine that drains magic and makes the Marvel’s powerless. Queue someone with no magic powers but a lot of technical know-how to swoop in and show what he can do.

I feel something that could potentially happen is the machine backfiring and giving Peter some magical abilities as a result (I mean, the Marvel’s are basically the sources of Earth’s magic from what I can remember. Anything can happen)

From here, not really sure what could happen. I suppose Peter having to accept that he can’t go home, but is happy he can stay with the Vasquez family and still continue being a hero to his adopted siblings in and out of costume. Alternatively, the magic blast could shoot him back to the Marvelverse, with Peter being upset that he never got to say goodbye. (Spoiler: Captain Marvel now knows where the Marvelverse is and comes for a visit)

[noir-drabbles]

Drafts 1

Summary: Just an unfinished solo writing thing while playing Iron Valley. Basically it was just me testing out what it is I wanted, trying to create my own setting and characters, but then my brain got bored of it. So, I figured I may as well dump it here.

(I said I was going to start dumping my drafts here and I am going to commit to it. Drafts will be half actual prose writing and rambles on the side because I want people to enjoy the ideas and characters I have in my head. Hope this is fun!)

(Oh yeah, here's the link to the game I was playing. Lot of reading but it's easy to start and understand. Really does test out one's creative muscles.)

Today’s Spring pick for the Luminariae Post is as follows:

When a new branch grows, I always worry for what it may carry. The bark upon the trunk is many years old and yet it still insists on growing new leaves, new buds, and new fruits. A large and wise old tree, and yet it didn’t know age. It didn’t know where it should draw its limits. It simply grew and produced, as it always has, even when the threat of disease was always there.

But I’m not scornful. I’ll simply grab my polished clippers and snap off whatever rot has caught onto the leaves, onto the branches. I’ll eat the fruit it gives me, and carve a flute out of the wood I snipped off.

I’ve been there when you were young, when each new leaf would make me dance in the mud because I keep forgetting not to over water you. When your fruits would spawn out of seemingly nowhere, like your love for the world could not be contained, so you had to give it back as much and as fast as you could.

You’ve long outgrown me. I can’t even climb up to the very top of you as I once used to with my own little sister. You could still support me, but the youth in your new branches are not what they used to be. And yet, you still try and grow just as much fruit as you can, even when it’s no longer anything anyone can eat.

You’re just an old fool. You and I are two of a kind. And that it why you will always be one of my dearest friends.

And every day, I thank you for being who you are.

– Carmen

Heyo, author Noir here. So, the idea I had for this little segment is that every start of the new season, the Luminariae Post would post a submission that was sent to them by one of the residents in this small town of Arbor Hills. Typically they pick submissions that have something to do with the current season, or just a general connection to nature that can be connected to said season. It's also meant for the regular folk to take a peek into a small part of that resident that wrote the piece. Just fluff writing things.

Oh, and Carmen is a big ol dragon man, the one that basically provides the Reader with a house and a job, a nice bouncing point since the Reader starts off with literally nothing, not even clothes. He's a nice man, good roommate and clearly misses having other people live in his house. There's this big tree that the whole town pays their respects towards because of the sheer size and reach of its roots. In fact, most of the plants and trees you find often end up connecting their roots to that big tree, as it provides nutrients to said plants, leading to them weathering even the toughest of disasters. Rumor has it that Carmen was the one that planted that tree when it was a sapling, but that's just a rumor.

Spring 2

Time: [0/4]

| Forecast: Sunny | Luck: Neutral | Lucky Color: Lemon |

“Did you hear? Apparently our dear local baker has been in need of a new recipe to put as a potential special.”

“Oh? Which one? Is it that sweetie Ivory or that nutty Obsidian?”

“Don’t be mean Martha. But it is nutty Obsidian. Apparently he’s going a little crazy from lack of inspiration and just wants something new to really make his day pop from grays to happy pinks.”

“Hehehe, well in that case, you think he’ll want to try out some of my homemade cookies? Maybe that’ll perk him right up and get his head out of the pizza oven ashes?”

“Bleh, if you want to kill him… But yes, let’s. I’ll be the merciful one and bring him some of my delicious tea.”

“Let’s poison him together, Lily.”

The idea I had here is basically a cutscene being played out every day, where a couple of characters do something or have a conversation that implies a very long request. The town bulletin is still a thing, but those quests will end up being pretty short. The short requests do change often, I'd say once every two days, while the longer requests are more persistent, changing once every five days. Obsidian is basically this mad scientist-like baker that loves to go crazy with the designs and flavors of his baked goods. And, well, he's prone to losing inspiration and just wants something to get that flow going. He's a pretty intense cosmic star dude, the kind of energy that easy to be overwhelmed with. He has a sister named Ivory who helps out in the bakery, but is mostly found working with wood as the local carpenter. She's not gentle, she has that quiet intensity about her, and is just as wacky with her woods craft. She will get the request done, and will probably add some else to it. A weird feature that you probably won't notice until you accidentally activate it. Like a table that can convert itself into a suit of wood armor. You never know with these two.

Oh, and I have no clue who Martha and Lily are. Just that they're best friends who love to gossip, and were once very competitive rivals in school before someone tried to accuse them of cheating so they'd be unable to participate in theater. Yeah, those two were theater kids, and their rivalry, for the most part, was a fun exaggerated thing on their part that got a liiiiittle too real, but they're good now. They're middle-aged and married to their respective spouses.

“You doing alright?”

You snapped out of your reverie by a rumbling voice that’s not quite meant to overpower the general noise, so much as it should rumble underneath one’s feet.

You didn’t look at Carmen. You looked at his horns instead, all scratched up and chipped at in all their ridged and curling glory. It’s hard to look at him in the eyes. They aren’t particularly piercing, they’re just filled with a love for the world around him. A gentle and boundless love that he’s willing to share with you, a fellow roommate but a stranger still.

It’s… a lot. Too much. But it’s fine. He’s good and nice. He makes you all those warm and filling meals, and lets you take up a room in his house. You had nowhere else to go, but he gave you a hand anyway.

So, are you doing alright? He did ask.

You hummed out a yes. Because words would be too much in all this noise. The sensation of your throat rumbling, of moving your lips and making a conscious effort not to stutter. You’re already a little on edge as is.

“Hmm,” he copied your tone, though you didn’t know if that meant he believed you or not, “I know there’s a lot of little noises, but a small outing like this is good. It is something to get used to, that’s for certain.”

It’s… yeah, he’s right. It is a lot. Carmen’s farm isn’t exactly all the quiet either, with all the cows, chickens and bees he has, but there’s a different quality to the noise of people. It’s a… a rhythm, of sorts. The livestock back home are always keeping out a listening ear to the nature around them, so their own noises follow that beat, usually. But people… don’t really care, nor can they truly listen.

The rhythm isn’t bad, in the sense that it’s wrong and that people should pay more attention. It’s just… different. Absorbed in their own little pocket of time. And those pockets just, overlap in your ears.

You’ll probably get used to it, in the same way you got used to Carmen when you first woke up to his face looming right over under the arbor. It was an adjustment. The man’s over seven feet tall with a broad frame to fit, built over the years from heavy farm work. But, you suppose that’s the average height of all dragons. Well, his specific branch of dragon anyway. You don’t know any other dragon.

You nodded and let your eyes wander over the sparse crowd around you, to the area you’re both sitting on a bench in.

The village’s center, built around a pretty fountain that’s filled with little seashells, all in various pastel colors of white, blue and pink. One little kid in white sandals had to lay her belly on the ledge of the fountain just to reach in and drop her shell. Her little transparent wings fluttered with her excitement, dropping flecks of pink dust here and there.

A water spout spat right up her nose and the little fairy girl snorted then gave a big powerful sneeze. She launched herself right into the air. Luckily, before you or Carmen could rush right over, her father was right there to catch her.

Chuckling, her fairy father said, “I got a precious gift from the heavens!”

“No!” She yelled, raising her arms high like claws, “I am your worst nightmare! I eat your dreams and your banana splits!”

He gasped, “A monster! Oh no!”

She kicked her feet and lost a sandal in her giggles.

You jumped when Carmen gave chuckles of his own. The sheer volume of his voice never ceases to surprise you, that his happiness can be something so… loud? Strong? It’s solid. Which is kind of dumb now that you think about it. You’ve seen him lift an entire tree trunk with his arms and shoulder alone. It shouldn’t be shocking at all to find that his laugh has just as much power behind it.

But it is, because he would always bend down just so people could hear him. He didn’t like raising his voice just as much as he hated going into the details of his private life.

And with a flinch, Carmen realized as much. He looked to the side, scratched the back of his neck, and sighed out, “Sorry.”

Did you look bug-eyed? You probably did.

You shook your head at Carmen. He doesn’t need to apologize to you. It’s not his fault that you’re easily startled. Besides, he’s the one going out of his way to get you situated in this place. He didn’t have to do it, but he did anyway.

He nodded to you then hovered a hand right over your shoulder. He stopped, waited, and when you shifted closer, he patted you. The weight and strength of his bones alone almost made your joint creak.

“I’ll be going on ahead. I need to buy some things for the gardening day this week.” Carmen reached into his pocket and took out a few notes that you don’t really need. He pays you plenty for your services, but saying no to him–especially when he wants to spoil or be nice–just leaves a sour taste in your mouth. He stuffed them in your hands. “Go around, explore. Or relax by the community garden if you’d like. I’ll be by Peach’s place for the most part. I won’t go home unless you want to, okay?”

Ah, here it is, the big send off. You can’t really complain since you asked for this kind of time for yourself, but augh… It’s difficult all the same. You’ve been here for the better part of one year and you’ve yet to make a single friend. You haven’t really been trying, to be perfectly honest. Whenever you go out into the village on your moped, you’re strictly in working mode, schedule and time all planned out. Whenever people would try and talk to you during those hours, you get antsy and anxious.

You hate being off schedule. On top of that, if you weren’t working, you were around Carmen all the time. He’s a friendly and well known face. It’s only natural for people to gravitate towards him rather than you, especially when you would rather hide in his shadow than look at anyone.

You weren’t trying to make friends. Everything was just too unfamiliar for you to do that, or even think of it. And nobody pushed you to do that. In a way, you’re grateful for that, that the people here left you alone for the most part. A nice respect of your time and attention. They made attempts to talk to you, certainly, but that was about where the pushiness ended.

And, now, you’re calmer-ish. You can take the time and try.

You can go anywhere and make a friend.

…

Augh, you still can’t talk. Words just really don’t want to come out.

Well, baby steps, baby steps.

Carmen has since left you to yourself, with money in your hands. A nice sizable amount. Can’t buy a microwave with it, but you can grab a while feast of pastries if you wanted to.

…you know what? That sounds like a good idea. Having something to munch on while trying to make a friend would help calm you down some. Besides, a lot of people frequent the bakery. Surely you’ll be able to find someone who wants to befriend you.

That and you’ve heard of the gossip between those two women over there. Apparently the local baker needs some help. You don’t have any ideas, but maybe you’ll come up with something by the time you get there?

The crowd didn’t really get any thinner as you walked down the white stone path. Lots of people were gathered in small packs, but they were polite enough to shift slightly out of your way. You followed the scent of bread and soon enough found yourself inside the cozy atmosphere of a bakery.

Honestly, it seemed more like a home than it did a bakery, which makes sense since it looked like a store/home hybrid from the outside. But, rather than a home that seeks to hide emptiness with store bought furniture the owner vaguely likes, each table, chair and even the frame of the mirrors in this place were clearly handmade.

It was small though, and all the furniture had people either gathering or sitting on it. There wasn’t anywhere you could just pick and sit down for an hour or two while you mindlessly pick at your pastry and watch the people go by.

A healthy routine makes for a good base for potential friendships. At least that’s how Carmen puts it. You’re not sure if it’s true, but you may as well try, right?

You walk to the back of the line and wait. At the front, behind the register was someone that you can only describe as a galactic black hole. The white light that makes up what you think is hair slowly swirls around in a clock-wise motion, collecting light like a vent does smoke as it slowly gathers in some dark center you can’t make out. The white light hair fades into a dark shadow dappled with white little star pinpricks, doing nothing to to take away from the bright eyes that look around this way and that.

This person had no mouth to speak of as he nodded and packaged a new box of pan dulce. It’s interesting to you, watching the way their body never quite stabilized into something truly solid, but it was enough for his clothes to hang on. He didn’t have a uniform, it was just a set of comfy billowing clothes that had little tears and big patches over what was probably holes.

His form stretched up, bending in ways a shadow would as he gave the box to the person waiting in line.

“You wanted a surprise and a surprise is what you’ll get!”

Aaaand this is where I lost my steam, and I had a pretty good pace going too.

Reader is basically this dryad person that was born from the big tree(of which I have yet to name, eh) and as such, has little to no knowledge of many things beyond the general basics. Socializing is obviously not their thing. Many of the towns people just think they're a traveler from afar that suffers from amnesia, but since nobody witnesses the Reader coming out of the tree, it can't really be disputed that they're not a traveler.

There's a biblically accurate angel just, hanging out in Arbor Hills. He's the current master carpenter and boss of Ivory. He spends most of his time sleeping, and in the rare times one manages to make a request to him, you can be sure that whatever furniture he makes will never break, and will even have a little buff to them.

The angel's name is Peach, because someone called him "an absolute peach." With the last name Angel for the sake of simplicity. No matter how you poke and prod at him, you can't get details about his past, you'll just get references about how empty of an existence he was living before coming here. Now he can dream all he likes.

There's a tradition at the start of a new year to share stories you may have or have written. Arbor Hills is all about communal story crafting, so often the whole town will come together to either craft a new fairy tale, or add on to another existing tale. The only rule is that it has to have at least one true event in there, or be based on a true event. So you could have witnessed a bug trip over grass and flip itself over and craft a tale about a malicious weed that seeks to grow and prank all the bugs that nipped at it. That kind of thing. So, one of the Promises is to get ideas and make a story before Spring 1 rolls around. There are usually two groups, one group that's full of people that have written their stories on their own, and the other group that shares their ideas for a group story making session. Perfection is not expected. Just have fun. And if you don't want to make a story, just be a listening ear.

There's also another tradition where, after reaching a certain age, kiddos go to the community garden to pick out a seed they like and plant it somewhere in the town. This tradition does stretch out beyond just for the kids, you can do this as a new adult, or when you reach a huge milestone in your life. Don't worry about having to take incredible care of it, these seeds are magical and are often deeply connected to you. They grow as you grow, and if they get sick, you can be assured that they'll be taken care of by the garden spirits of the forest.

There aren't many dragons to be found. There be different types of dragons, but their lifespan varies quite a bit between them.

Same for the dryad. There's nobody else quite like you, and if there is, they're usually no bigger than the size of your palm. Tiny, squeaky things.

I know I have more things sitting in the brain, but I need to prodded at to really remember. So, if you want to poke at my brain, be my guest!

[writingwhimsey]

All's Fair In Love & War- Nobunaga Epilogue

Epilogue

It had been some time since the Hono-ji incident. There had been a few territories try to rebel, but Nobunaga quashed those rebellions soundly. Sometimes just himself and his troops, but other times he would bring me along. It truly depended on what the situation needed. We were still waiting for Kennyo or the Uesugi-Takeda Alliance to make a move, but so far everything was quiet once we had stopped those small rebellions.

I had been away from my territory too long and it was time that I returned. Nobunaga true to his word, came with me. Jiro and Sato, accompanied me of course. Hideyoshi, Mitsuhide, and Masamune came with us as well, leaving Mitsunari and Ieyasu to keep watch over Azuchi.

“We’re going to have to figure out exactly how we are going to be splitting our time.” I said to Nobunaga as we rode beside each other.

He grinned at me. “Yes, we’ll have to work that out. But for now we’ll just go as we are needed.”

I couldn’t help the happy smile that came to my face. We truly were a couple, figuring out how things were going to work. Though it was a little more complicated than a simple your place or mine situation, given that we were both daimyo…but thankfully we had supportive vassals who could look after things in our stead while one of us was staying in the other’s territory.

“The bigger issue will come once we’ve accomplished your goal of uniting the country, Lord Nobunaga.” Sato said.

“I think that is more easily solvable.” Nobunaga replied.

I gave him a look. “How so?” I asked.

“I have always planned on building a new castle to rule from anyways. We’ll just have to live there.” He answered, giving me a roguish grin that made my heart pound in my chest.

“You really do want me to rule the world at your side then?” I replied.

Nobunaga reached over, his hand taking mine even as we continued to ride through the plains. He brought my hand to his lips. “I was not just spouting useless words. I do not say things I do not mean.”

I felt my cheeks flushing a bit, though a smile was on my lips. Though I knew Nobunaga meant his words… it was still hard to get used to. Most men that I had met here…they only wanted me to get my power. “I know…just takes some getting used to.”

“I will find a way to assure you that I mean what I say.” He told me.

“I would have thought them being on separate horses would solve some of their flirting.” Jiro commented.

“It’s truly like the rest of us aren’t even here.” Hideyoshi agreed.

“I think it’s sweet.” Sato said, grinning. “Besides, just look how happy they are.”

“And would either of you ever truly object to anything that makes your lords happy just because it doesn’t seem…appropriate to you two?” Mitsuhide added, his tone teasingly challenging.

After traveling for three days, we finally arrived at my territory. When we arrived to my castle, Kei was greeting us. “Welcome home, my lord.” She said. “And welcome to our guests.” She bowed to each of them in turn.

Other attendants were coming up to lead the others to their guest rooms, while Kei looked at me expectantly. “Is there already work?” I asked. “Jiro and Sato kept me updated on things and we had a system in place…”

“We just have to discuss preparations for the banquet, my lord.” Kei answered.

“A banquet?” Nobunaga asked.

“What are we celebrating? And I am more than happy to cook up the food.” Masamune said, grinning.

I wracked my brain for what the banquet could be for. “What are…”

“Did you really lose track of the date, my lord?” Jiro asked me.

I looked at him and then I let out a groan. “Dammit…”

“What is it?” Nobunaga asked.

“Nothing important and I still don’t understand why all of you insist on this stupid tradition…” I answered and then looked at my vassals and my aid.

“It’s her birthday.” Sato said, grinning.

“Your birthday?” Nobunaga asked. “That seems a perfect cause for celebration.”

“Well, it’s not really my birthday…or at least not the day I was born.” I said. “It’s the day I was officially adopted into the Yamada clan.”

“Still, it’s a day worth celebrating.” Nobunaga replied, his arm coming around my waist.

“You know your mother and father always loved celebrating it.” Jiro pointed out.

“Yeah and I loved it then too.” I replied. “But now…”

“We have also gotten word that some of the guests have already started to arrive.” Kei said. “Some are requesting an early audience with you as soon as possible, my lord.”

“Dammit.” I groaned, knowing exactly what it meant.

“You know it’s not that big of a deal.” Jiro said.

“It’s exhausting.” I replied.

“It’s only customary to receive tributes as a lord on your birthday.” Hideyoshi pointed out.

I sighed. “Alright, Kei let’s go.” I said. I gave Nobunaga a quick kiss. “I’ll see you later.”

Nobunaga watched Ava walk off with her aid. He wondered exactly what she found so exhausting about receiving tributes for her birthday…or adoption day in this case. Most of the others had already gone off, but Sato was still in the hall with him.

“You wanna know about it?” Sato asked, grinning.

Nobunaga looked at her. “You know why she dreads this?”

Sato nodded. “Follow me, my lord.” She said, gesturing for Nobunaga to follow her to a storage room deep within the castle. She slid open the door. “Here are all of the tributes she has received over the years.”

Nobunaga walked into the room and looked around. He took all of the gifts, noticing various trinkets and items…some clothes. He noticed a theme amongst all of these gifts. “They all have family crests on them…and none of them are the Yamada crest.” He noted.

“All of those tributes came from various men, second sons typically or the occasional warlord who wants to expand his own forces.” Sato explained. “Each gift has come with a marriage proposal.”

“I see.” Nobunaga replied. “So, these guests that are arriving, they are all men who will be bringing such gifts and marriage proposals?”

Sato nodded. “Yes, and that is exactly why Lord Ava finds it exhausting.”

A plan began to form in Nobunaga’s mind. “Sato, would you be able to show me to one of your most skilled tailors?”

Sato smiled. “Of course, my lord.”

A few days later…

It was finally the day of my “birthday” banquet. I had been dealing with a handful of visitors a day, bringing me gifts and their stupid proposals. The only thing that made it all bearable was getting to spend my nights with Nobunaga. After the hard days, spending time in his warm embrace was truly peaceful and relaxing.

I dressed for the banquet, putting on my finest robes and Sato helping me to style my hair and put on a bit of makeup. “You know, I hope once all of the guests see Nobunaga sitting beside me, they’ll back off.” I said.

“I am sure.” Sato replied. “If they’re smart they’ll be intimidated by Lord Nobunaga. Even though they really should be just as intimidated by you.”

“I am probably less patient with them and would be more likely to run them through.” I replied.

Once we had finished getting ready, we were heading to the banquet hall. Everyone was gathered there… though the seat that was beside mine, reserved for Nobunaga was curiously empty. As I walked past Hideyoshi I looked at him. He looked a bit guilty of something, but nodded. 

“Lord Nobunaga said he would be running just a bit late.” He whispered to me. “But he swore he would be here.”

I nodded but frowned despite myself. I was really hoping that he would be here already. I composed myself and made my way over to my seat. I looked around the room, noticing all of my guests…thankful that at least Iksu wasn’t here.

“Thank you all for coming to celebrate my birthday.” I announced. “Now please enjoy the food and drink.”

The banquet began and soon, the guests started to get up to come before me and present their gifts. A string of men with gifts containing their family crests and offering marriage proposals. Lord Isamu, one of the few landed lords, was bowing before me and presenting his gift. It was a pretty kimono that was in the colors of his clan and had his family crest on the back.

“Lord Ava, please accept my gift and consider my humble gift and consider joining your forces and clan with mine, as my wife.”

I fought off a sigh. “I appreciate the gift, but I must decline your proposal.” I replied. 

“I beg of you to reconsider, Lord Ava. I believe we would be a good match and I could help you…” Isamu began, before being interrupted by the doors at the back of the room sliding open and Nobunaga striding in. He wore his confident smirk and carried a parcel in his hands.

“Step aside.” Nobunaga said to Isamu.

Isamu’s eyes widened. “L-lord Nobunaga…?”

“Good you know who I am.” Nobunaga replied. “Now step aside.”

Isamu nodded, bowed and then quickly moved out of the way.

Nobunaga smiled at me as he came to kneel down directly in front of me, which surprised me and honestly flustered me a bit. “Ava, please accept my gift.” He said, placing the parcel he held in my hands.

I untied the twine and then pulled the lid off the box. I had to fight the gasp that threatened to escape at what I saw. Slowly, I lifted a beautiful haori from the package. It was white and pink and lined with black… but what stood out more was the crest on the back. One half of the crest was the Oda crest and the other half was the Yamada crest. They were of equal size and quality. It looked beautiful and what it all meant.

“Ava.” Nobunaga said my name so tenderly, causing me to look up at him. Then in a louder clearer voice, he spoke. “I will never ask you to be anyone other than who you are. You are a fiery, confident, and capable woman and warrior, and wise leader of your clan and your people. I will never ask you to be less than that. I want you at my side just as you are. I want you as my partner and my equal and I will accept nothing less. Rule at my side and continue to be the remarkable woman you are.”

My heart was pounding in my chest and I could feel tears stinging at my eyes. I wanted nothing more than to fling my arms around this man…this truly amazing man who really did mean every word he said. But I knew I couldn’t do that…at least right now. I smiled at him. “I accept your gift, Nobunaga and your offer. I will have no other man at my side but you.”

The other men in the room were all murmuring amongst themselves, but I didn’t care about them. Nobunaga was moving to sit beside me even as they all murmured, his arm coming around my waist. “I am glad you accept.” He said, placing a gentle kiss on my lips.

After the party, Nobunaga and I were in my room. I had put on the haori. “You made quite the show.” I said to him.

“That was part of the point.” Nobunaga replied, his hand coming up to stroke my cheek. “I had to make sure all of those fools know you are too good for them and that there is only one man to stand beside you.”

“What was the other part of the point?” I asked.

Nobunaga’s smile was tender. “To make sure you know that I want you at my side as my equal.” He told me, calling back to our conversation on the way here.

I smiled up at him, leaning into his touch. “I know…I’ve no doubts.”

“Good.” Nobunaga replied, pulling me closer. “I love you, Ava. You are my fireball and I want you by my side always and I will never ask you to change or step back.”

“I love you, Nobunaga.” I replied. “I love you for everything you are and I am happy to spend the rest of my life at your side and with you at mine.”

Our lips were soon meeting in a kiss that quickly became passionate. We sank to the floor together, our hands starting to undo the ties of each other’s clothes. When we broke the kiss, Nobunaga was giving me a devilish grin. “This haori looks wonderful on you. It’s a shame to take it off.”

I grinned at him. “Who says that it has to come off?” I replied. “We could remove everything except the haori.”

Nobunaga grinned. “I think that is a most excellent idea.”

It was moments later, I was down to wearing nothing but the haori Nobunaga had gifted me. His eyes took in my form even as his fingertips reached inside to trace over my bare flesh. We kissed and caressed each other, expressing our love and devotion to each other.

“I love you, Nobunaga.” I gasped out as our bodies slowly melded together, arms wrapping around each other.

“I love you, Ava.” Nobunaga replied, his eyes warm with pleasure, love, and desire.

We spent the night showering each other in love and proving our devotion in the way that words couldn’t. This was real and true love. We were two people who shared so much and loved each other as we were. This was a once in a lifetime love and I knew we would spend the rest of our lives seeing our dreams come true together. It wouldn’t always be easy, but we would have each other and we would be partners in all things. 

This love would last a lifetime and more.

Finished...I hope you have all enjoyed this! I do plan to write a sequel to this after I write a few other warlords. I hope you've enjoyed this ride as much as I have and I look forward to writing more of warlord Ava!

[quietly-by-myself]

An Earthly Cosmological Redshift - Chapter 7 - Fragile Beauty

Masterlist

Thank you to @darkthingshappen for beta reading and helping me work this!

CW: vampire caretaker, human whumpee, cancer, terminal illness, broken bones, suicidal ideation, emeto, human being turned into a vampire, discussion of death and killing, discussion of humanity

===

Being a mafioso, Fearon had seen countless horrors, countless atrocities. He really thought he should’ve been desensitized to suffering, to death. However, as he looked at the skeleton on his bed, the love of his life, withered away into a shell of lumps and skin, he found it one of the most disturbing sights he’d ever seen.

Jules was dying. There wasn’t any other way to say it. Jules’ days were numbered and there wasn’t much time left.

Fearon wanted to relieve his love’s pain. As a vampire, his body would heal from the cancer over time. He knew Jules was scared, but after over two hundred years of life as a vampire, Fearon had trouble understanding Jules’ fear.

The insistence of eating again was, of course, an excuse. Yet, Fearon couldn't figure out what in the world his love was hiding with that excuse. Fearon could smell the death on Jules. He knew that Jules had maybe a week or two at the most. 

When Jules awoke and Fearon made an attempt to feed him, only for Jules to throw half of it up, Fearon finally thought to ask the question.

“I know eating is an excuse, Jules.”

Jules froze. Anxiety filled his eyes full of pain. “What do you mean?” Jules’ voice was shaky, afraid. Fearon knew that the fear was from the cancer in his brain - the confusion and delirium that always accompanied the end of a human.

“There’s another reason you don’t want me to turn you.” 

For a moment, Fearon considered whether or not he was doing the right thing by pushing Jules for an answer. He was as afraid as Jules was - he didn’t want his love to die before he could do anything.

Jules laughed a little. “Are you really so oblivious, Fearon?”

Fearon sat up a little straighter, rubbing his hands a little. “I guess that I am.”

“I’m scared of losing my humanity.” Jules smiled shakily, tears filling his eyes. “It feels like my humanity is all that I’ve ever had. You reminded me I was human because you fed from me. Our sex was good and connected me to my own humanity, even if you were a vampire. If I’m not human, then what am I?”

Jules broke down into sobs, his smile fading. “I’m too young to die.”

Fearon stayed quiet, trying to feel out if Jules was going to say anything else. When it was clear that it wasn’t a rhetorical question, that Jules genuinely wanted an answer, Fearon decided to speak.

“I thought the same thing, when Galileo turned me. I wasn’t - it wasn’t something that happened willingly. I was younger than you, Jules. I was twenty-four.” Fearon swallowed. “I wasn’t a good kid, either. The whole reason that Galileo was able to turn me - well, it isn’t much different than yours. My parents kicked me out when they found out that I was a homosexual - I was fifteen.”

Jules’ face rippled with surprise. “I thought you would’ve been killed.”

“I don’t know why I wasn’t. I should’ve been, by all means. Nobody ever knew except them and a boy I was dating at the time. But, it didn’t take me long to die. Nine years.” Fearon looked away from Jules, unable to meet his gaze. “When Galileo turned me, well, I abandoned my humanity. I became ruthless. I did a lot of things that I don’t regret. I’ve hurt a lot of people - humans and vampires. I was a monster.”

Fearon shook his head. “The answer to your question I guess, well, is that undead life is what you make it, just like human life. Humans can be ruthless and awful just like vampires. If you aren’t human, you’re still Jules. You don’t have to abandon yourself just because you’ve become undead. There will be a lot to learn and you might not like all the changes, but you’ll be without pain. I think… you’ll be happier.”

Jules seemed to consider what Fearon said for a while. He kept quiet, even as Fearon turned to look at him. Fearon began to worry that he’d scared Jules, that he’d convinced Jules to die a human. After all, it wouldn’t take much.

“I’m sorry if I said too much.”

Jules shook his head. “Thank you, Fearon. I’ll think about it.”

—

The rest of the night passed peacefully, or as peacefully as it could. However, the next night, early enough that the sun poked out, Fearon awoke to a scream.

Jules had rolled over onto his broken arm. However, his head was also tilted to the side in an awkward position. 

“My neck! My neck!”

Fearon immediately sat up and ran around the side of the bed to meet at Jules’ side. He gently moved Jules onto his bed, which earned another scream.

“I heard it snap! I think I broke my neck.”

Jules broke down into incoherent sobs. 

Panic filled Fearon’s chest. He felt his body go cold, then hot, then cold again. “Can you feel your body?”

“Yes! It hurts, Fearon. It hurts.”

Fearon tried to calm his nerves. He needed to be there for Jules. Jules needed him.

Fearon went to Jules' neck and put a gentle hand on it. Jules screamed in pain again. The flesh was warm and lumpy under his touch.

“Is this cancer going to take me one bone at a time? I fucking hate cancer. I want to die.”

Fearon went cold, as though he were frozen in time. What was he supposed to say to someone who just broke his neck? There was nothing more he could do other than kill Jules - whether to turn him or to put him out of his misery.

Human life was so fragile - their minds so frail and afraid. Fearon couldn’t exactly blame them, either. Nothing hunted vampires like vampires hunted humans.

“I know.” Fearon looked at Jules. “I can’t take away your pain any other way than killing you. Either I kill you to turn you or I kill you so you don’t have to suffer.”

The thought of killing Jules made Fearon sick. The thought of never seeing him again - the thought of being the cause of his demise. He didn’t want to, but he didn’t want to see Jules suffer through the end of his life when there was nothing that could save him.

Jules’ eyes went hollow, empty. “I- you would do that?”

Fearon felt tears well in his eyes. “I would. I love you, Jules. I love you more than life itself. If you want to die and not become a vampire, I can make it painless. But I’d miss you for the rest of my days.”

Jules went quiet, unable to even look at Fearon. 

“I’ll do it,” Jules whispered.

“Do what?” Fearon asked, measured, trying to seem neutral but failing entirely.

“I’ll become a vampire.” Jules looked like he hardly believed his own words. “Just make it quick.”

“It’s going to hurt, because of your neck.”

“I know.” Jules seemed less and less sure with each word.

Fearon was starting to get nervous, starting to believe that Jules would really die without anything afterwards. “Are you sure?”

“Do it before I change my mind and die like this!” Jules begged.

Fearon scanned his face, looking for any insincerity. He found none.

Fearon nodded and approached Jules. With all the care he could manage, he tilted Jules’ neck. Jules cried out in pain, but that was just the beginning of it. Fearon sunk his fangs into Jules’ neck, the venom from his fangs spilling into Jules’ blood soon after. Jules broke down into sobs, but Fearon had to ignore them.

He drank and drank and drank. He focused on putting as much venom as he could into Jules.

Eventually, the crying stopped. Jules went limp on the bed. Fearon immediately panicked. Had he done something wrong? Had he really killed Jules? How long would it be until Jules awoke, if he’d done it correctly?

The worry drove him to things he would never normally do. He stroked Jules’ hair, waiting for his love to wake up. If he woke up. Would he wake up?

Tears formed in his eyes again. What if he really had killed Jules? He took Jules’ hand in his own, rubbed circles into Jules’ cold palm. A sob formed in his chest. 

Please wake up.

The answer came when Jules moved to stroke Jules’ face.

Those eyes of Jules’ opened, revealing a deep crimson color.

Jules looked hollow, confused. Suddenly, Fearon remembered that newly turned vampires needed blood quickly. He ran to his fridge and grabbed out a packet of blood - the sustenance he’d been living off of while Jules was ill - and broke it, placing it near Jules’ mouth. Jules drank with the hunger of someone who hadn’t eaten in days.

Fearon knew it would be days before Jules could speak, months before he would heal from the cancer. Until then, he would feed Jules. He would take care of Jules. He would make sure that Jules stayed alive.

“I’ll call you Jules. Jules Fallows.”

Something in Jules’ eyes flashed, but Jules gave few signs of life other than his blinking eyes.

It’s going to be okay. He’s alive.

He’s alive.

Well, Jules wasn’t quite alive, but at least it wasn’t the cancer that had killed him.

Fearon had killed him. In doing that, he’d also saved Jules.

Fearon had done the right thing. He’d saved Jules.

Right?

===

Tags: @i-can-even-burn-salad @whumpsday @pigeonwhumps @oddsconvert @sparrowsage @darkthingshappen

[compassionatereminders]

This is, I think, a vent post. Even though I want to beg anyone and everyone for answers to the impossible questions swirling in my crazy head.

I've been in a toxic living situation for a long time and my CPTSD near-constantly triggered. This year between escalating abuse and suicidality, I lashed out at nearly all my closest friends with years worth of built up resentments, causing them to end their friendships with me. All the hurt they've caused me is still playing in endless loops even months later, while all the love and help they gave me feel distant and vague. I don't know how much of my pain is valid and how much this is just my traumatized brain distorting everything. It doesn't help that this is a pattern of behaviour with me. I invalidate my feelings and internalise hurt until I'm at too much of a low point to fight them, lash out, and lose the relationship. Granted, some of them really did treat me shittily, but it's still a dysfunctional and destructive way to interact with people.

I know I should find a therapist, but they've consistently invalidated and traumatized me, and the last one was so bad she made my suicidality go turbo. But I can't help thinking this is all my fault for not trying harder to get help, even though it's hard to pencil that in between wanting to die and stressing about money. My OCD is insisting that I'm a terrible, toxic person who's dangerous to associate with and has no appreciation for anything my friends have done for me over the years.

I just feel torn apart. I'm so angry at my friends but I can't figure out whether I just inflated it all in my head. I think the correct answer is that I didn't deserve the way I hurt them but my feelings insist they did, because they hurt me for so long. I can't figure out why they ended our friendships just because I was angry at all the wrongs they did to me. I think this might not be true and I probably really did mess up. I think I'm making my feelings everyone else's responsibility.

I want to know the correct answer. I want to know whether I'm a bad person who's not worth helping or befriending. I think I probably am, because I hurt everyone who loved and helped me and I'm not even sorry. I think I'm in a lot of pain and being very unkind to myself, but who could be kind to someone so self-pitying and destructive that behaves like this?

I'm so tired of hurting people and being hurt. I feel like those are the only two options as long as I'm living like this, and I can't see a way out of this situation, so I'm never going to be a good, safe person worth loving.

The thing is, even IF your trauma/mental health issues caused toxic behavior in past relationships, this does in no way equal you being irreparably broken and not worth loving. All that this would mean is that there are some patterns you would need to be aware of and work on in future relationships

[cookinguptales]

I have genuinely been too sad to talk about Colin Robinson much, but it’s been a few days and I am blearily clinging to my coffee so let’s give this a try.

Like many of you, I am intrigued by the hints that Colin Robinson at least subconsciously remembers his time being raised by Laszlo. The way he smiled when Laszlo talked about going to see the rhinos, His genuine concern for Laszlo’s health when he’s asking about stroke symptoms. His newfound interest in home renovation. And obviously, the way he was humming “Rap Tap On Wood” as he walked away.

I don’t think that Colin consciously remembers anything; despite his tendency to fuck with the vampires, I really don’t think that’s going on here. I think he was genuinely confused when Laszlo was asking him about their former life together. To me, it feels more like the slight hints we’d see in Baby Colin that he had remnants of Colin Robinson in him, like the fact that Rap Tap On Wood sounds so similar to the theme song of his favorite show that they only show in the hotel room in Atlantic City. Or the whole hammering walls thing.

It seems that in some ways, Colin Robinson’s mind works like a computer that makes backups. By using his own detailed notes, he’s able to upload prior existences of himself and add onto it with each lifetime. That said, he’s only able to upload the memories that were recorded, which is why he loses his memories of himself as a child -- and why you should make regular backups of your computer. (I say, not doing that.)

Moreover, it seems to be implied that the act of getting back these memories made him into the person that he is. He physically transformed into Colin Robinson as he got back the memories of that lifetime. Some of this is probably a metaphor for loss of innocence (particularly the hair thing) and the way that our personalities are nothing but a collection of decisions, experiences, and memories, but it also seems like these memories fundamentally make up what he is. Laszlo was right; he was a different person when he was Baby Colin. He didn’t physically become Colin Robinson until he gave up his memories of Colin Robinson and uploaded the old version of himself.

(This also implies that this was his first time going through this cycle; he still only has 100 years of memories despite it being canon that he continues on uninterrupted after the... I guess we’ll call it pupal cycle. That is, unless this is just the first lifetime that he’s attempted to take notes. It’s difficult to tell if the note-taking is an innate energy vampire instinct or if it’s a quirk of Colin specifically. Or hell, even just this lifetime specifically.)

But, unlike a computer, it seems that even when he’s in a new body, even when his brain is unformed, even when his fledgling powers seem to mostly steal energy from those around him without his knowledge, there are still events that leave indelible echoes on his psyche. Like the journals. Like his time with Laszlo.

I think to some degree, it’s probably a metaphor... Human children are all energy vampires. They soak up love and frustration and every bit of energy their parents have for a while in order to properly grow. But there’s also this through line in the entire season of fatherhood and how your childhood affects who you become as an adult even if you don’t want it to. Sean, Laszlo, and Guillermo all show signs of serious damage due to their upbringing and lack of a good father figure, and it affects how all three of them deal with Colin.

So then we have Colin (who has almost become an absentee child, a whole other meta right there) who insists that Laszlo’s (and Guillermo’s) parenting has had no permanent affect on him... but who shows clear signs of being influenced anyway. Just like Sean, Laszlo, and Guillermo, he cannot help but be affected by his childhood as an adult, even if he cannot remember it. Even if, like all children becoming adults, he has grown out of his old toys and old bed and old relationships, a part of them will be lodged in his personality forever.

I’m really curious to see if they interact more with the ideas they’ve brought up here. Like, Laszlo is canonically skilled at helping people recover lost memories. He already did it for The Guide. Is he going to try to make Colin remember what he forgot? Is he willing to let sleeping dogs lie?

Hell, for that matter, was it all the physical experiments he did on Colin’s still-forming brain that made it so Colin could remember him at all...? I know what strobe lights are used for, Laszlo!

idk, this is a bit rambling, I’m still a bit worn. I’m still going to answer the asks I got on this subject to try and help narrow my thoughts down a little. But yeah, these are some of my initial impressions. I’m... probably going to write about this a lot. lmao

[missvelvetsstuff]

Low Expectations

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Chapter 4

Warning: swearing, angst & fluff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Y/N ran into Terri Sunday night, Terri started to ask about her date but stopped when she saw her face blotchy and eyes red from crying.

Terri bristled "What did he do? I swear I'll kill him."

Y/N shook her head "It was me. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes but after I got home my brain started and I freaked. Spoke to him earlier and told him I like him and want to keep seeing him but I'm not ready to commit.

Terri, he sounded so sad and I feel awful. I've never been treated so well and I'm afraid he's too good to be true. I fucked it up all by myself" she broke into tears. "I tried to call him but it went straight to voicemail."

Terri hugged her "Oh, honey what am I going to do with you? You have to stop letting your mind run away with you like that. You are just as deserving of love as anyone else, more than some. Send him a text telling him you're sorry for freaking out and would like to talk to him when he's up for it. And take a mental health day tomorrow, we'll eat junk and watch sappy movies. I'll make you those on the rocks margaritas like your mom taught me"

"I miss her so much. I still can't believe she died and I wasn't here to take care of her."

Terri rubbed her back. "I know, I know but you still have me." She snickered "I could call aunt Kathy if you want"

Y/N pulled away and gave Terri a dirty look "Don't even joke about that. She thinks the only way to mend a broken heart is to get laid by at least a dozen people. I'm just not like that. Besides she's in Florida and I don't want to give her any excuses to come up here.

The next afternoon, Bucky was guzzling tequila for the second day in a row, wishing he knew how to get in touch with Thor when his doorbell rang. He grumbled as he got up and answered it.

"Sam, what are you doing here? I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone." He left the door open and sat back on the floor.

Sam looked around "Dude! What is that smell? How much have you had to drink?"

"Not enough, I'm still sober"

Sam shook his head "I'm here to check on you because you were supposed to pick me up from the airport. And why the Hell are you trying to get drunk? Wasn't your big date the other night." Sam paused

"Shit, was it bad? What happened?"

Bucky sighed "I'm sorry, I forgot. The date was perfect, at least I thought it was. She said she would be my girl and we had a really good time."

Sam nodded "Ok that all sounds good so what's the problem?"

Bucky teared up a little "I called her yesterday afternoon, just to see how she was and she changed her mind."

Sam looked confused "What do you mean she changed her mind?"

"She said she isn't ready for a commitment yet. Insisted it was her, not me, and that she still likes me and wants to see me but. Fuck! I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong. I thought it went really well. I thought she might be my person."

Sam thought for a minute "Didn't you say she has self esteem issues? Because of guys she's dated and because Terri always gets all the attention when they go out, right? Maybe she's like you and got caught up in her own head. Like thinking it's all too good to be true, you know."

Bucky nodded "I mean yeah but I tried to be perfect. Do and say all the right things"

"Exactly. You're this good looking, superhero with greatest generation manners. For someone who has been treated badly or taken for granted that would seem too good. Maybe give her a couple of days and call her, see if she wants to go out again."

"She tried to call me last night but I didn't answer. I want to talk to her but I'm scared." Bucky shook his head "What if she says no and tells me to leave her alone?"

Sam chuckled "From what you've told me I doubt it but if she did then at least you would know. Come on, take a shower and I'll buy you dinner."

"Thanks Sam but I'm not up for going out"

"We don't have to go anywhere, I can order in but I'm not staying here unless you wash your ass. You reek" Sam held his nose for emphasis.

"Fine. I'm not really hungry but we can hang out for awhile. Lemme go shower." Bucky said despondently

Meanwhile Terri and Y/N were half drunk, eating chocolate like it had divine healing properties and laughing at A Fish Called Wanda.

"What would I do without Monty Python and everyone involved?" Y/N asked "Those guys always make me laugh."

Terri pouted "Yeah, I still can't get into British humor but this movie is pretty funny. Kevin Kline is so perfect in this.'Asshole!!'"

Y/N looked at her with a gleam in her eye. "Let's see if BBC America has some Benny Hill when this is over."

Terri shook her head "Oh come on. Let's watch The Notebook next"

"No, no, no. I refuse to watch such emotionally manipulative tripe."

Terri scowled at her "How do you know its tripe if you've never seen it? It's really good. And you like Beaches, it's pretty manipulative."

"Not the same. It's about best friends not pining after some guy. Besides I saw Beaches with my mom before I was old enough to know better. Plus, Bette Midler is a BadAss and one of my heroes. She gives zero fucks about what others think of her. Like Pink. I wish I could be like that."

Terri rolled her eyes "Fine but no Benny Hill, he was just a dog. How about the Mummy movies? Brendan Frasier is always fun to watch."

Y/N thought for a minute "This compromise is acceptable to me as long as you don't want to watch the last one where they recast Evy. That lady had no chemistry with Brendan at all.

Do you think I should send Bucky another text? He never responded to the one I sent last night or when I tried to call him. Maybe that's his answer and I blew it before it even really started. Maybe I'm going to be alone forever. Maybe-"

Terri cut her off "Didn't I tell you we aren't doing that? I said give him a couple of days. It's been one day. I'm sure with his history he's had challenges dating in the future. Remember you told me he was sure you would walk away because he was the Winter Soldier? He might be struggling too and not ready to talk.

Honestly, the more I think about it the more I'm convinced that you two are meant to be. He'll call, by the end of the week. Just you wait."

By Thursday Bucky and Y/N were both antsy waiting to hear from the other. Bucky had helped Sam on a mission in Texas, some militia with weapons they definitely shouldn't have been able to get a hold of, for a couple of days but got home around dinner time. Working had helped keep his mind off of Y/N but coming home to his empty apartment brought it all back. He checked his phone and read her last message again. Fuck it he thought, I'll just call her.

Terri and Y/N were eating dinner when her phone rang. She saw it was Bucky and grinned, then froze. "It's James. What do I say to him?"

Terri looked at her "Maybe start with Hi. Before he gives up, don't just stare at the phone"

Y/N dropped her phone trying to answer and it went to voicemail before she could answer it "Jesus, I'm shaking too much. I can't do this, Terri."

"Nope, you absolutely can. Call him back!" Terri insisted

"What if he's calling to tell me he changed his mind? What if he thinks I'm too much?"

"No! You're doing it again. Call. Him. Back. Right now. I'll give you some privacy but I better hear you talking to him or I'll have to do something drastic." Terri got up and went to her room

Y/N took a drink, tried to calm her breathing and called. She almost started crying when it went to voicemail and jumped when it started ringing again.

"Hello? James are you there?"

"Hey, Y/N. How are you?"

She tried to answer but couldn't make any sound come out. What finally came out was a squeak and then a sob. She still couldn't form words.

"Y/N? Are you ok? Are you still there? You're scaring me, doll. Please say something" Bucky pleaded.

She finally spit out "I'm sorry, I don't mean to get so emotional. I was worried when I didn't hear from you. I'm sorry about what I said. Sometimes I get caught up in my head and act stupid. I'm kind of a mess."

Bucky smiled "It's ok. I totally understand, that's a bad habit of mine too. I just got home from a thing with Sam, and I was away the last couple of days. How is your week going?"

She tried to calm her breathing "Pretty unexciting. Terri and I hung out and watched movies on Monday and the rest has been work.

Would you like to-"

"Do you want to-"

They both laughed "You first, doll."

"I was wondering if you wanted to get together this weekend."

Bucky laughed "That's what I was going to ask."

"I'll take that as a yes" she smiled

"Definitely a yes. When are you available?"

She thought for a moment "I dont have anything planned this weekend besides the usual housework and errands. Terri is going out of town so, you could come over here for dinner on Saturday. I'm not a great cook but make a mean spaghetti. And I can bake up a storm. I'll make my grandma's pound cake."

Bucky smiled "That sounds wonderful. What time should I be there?"

"Late afternoon? Early evening? Anytime after 3pm should be fine. I should be able to get my housework done and go to the store before that."

@lokisasgardianvampirequeen

"Then its a date. I'll see you Saturday doll."

Chapter 5

[terresdebrume]

A scene that will definitely not be in the modern Webgott fic but also it assaulted me this morning and refused to let go of my brain so. Yeah. Featuring trans!Webster before anyone knows he's trans.

Mom is in the middle of lighting the shabbat candles when Joe's phone goes off, and no one says a thing. Which is fucking rich, because Joe's always on Ruth's case about phone use during holidays and he's away most of the time, and he doesn't even shut the thing down right away! Ruth turns to Al, whose eyebrows are gratifyingly up in shock even though she's not saying anything.

"Joseph," Mom says, always in German, "turn that thing off, please."

"It's from Germany," says Joe, frowning and not actually turning it off, the rotary phone ringtone growing louder on the second run.

"Just ignore it," Jake says, glancing at Mom before turning back to Joe with a frown. "You don't know anyone in Germany."

"There's Virginia," Joe frowns, thumb already hovering over the screen. "And it's, what, two am over there?"

"All the more reason to ignore it," Ruth dismisses, trying not to sound as annoyed as she feels. "She's probably just drunk at a party somewhere and having a laugh."

Joe's mouth twists to the side, in that way he does when he thinks something might be a load of shit, which Ruth thinks is fucking rich. Virginia Webster has been a little shit in Joe's periphery for as long as Ruth can remember: apparently she insulted him on his first day working for her stupidly rich parents and hasn't stopped being a pain in the ten years he's been driving her and her equally rich and obnoxious family around. Ruth may have never met her—of course not, she lives in New York and is part of the reason why Ruth's eldest brother is a figure mostly confined to high holidays and the occasional New Year break—but she's heard enough to know it's not worth blowing shabbat for her.

"Joseph," Mom says, much calmer than Ruth feels, "ignore it or don't but stop that noise."

"Right," Joe says frowning harder as he gets up from his chair, prompting Judith and Rachel to finally join in the outrage. "I'll be a minute."

Ruth is still gaping, searing at Joe's retreating back as he makes his way up the stairs and tells his employers' daughter he's kind of busy—and in German, no less. At the head of the table, Mom and Al don't even look angry.

"Are you kidding me?" Ruth asks, watching Mom shake her match out. "We're waiting for him?"

"Of course we are, don't be rude, Ruthie," says Mom, frowning at where Joe disappeared.

"But it's not fair!" Ruth protests, not bothering to check her volume. "He's always on my ass about not having my phone out—"

"It's his job," Alma sighs. "He can hardly refuse to answer."

"So what, he could have just said he didn't hear his phone! They see more of him than we ever do already, and now they want him to pick up the phone when he's on leave, too? That's just bullshit!"

"Ruth come on," Jake tries, sighing on the last word, "it's the one time—"

"Yeah, that's how they start!" Ruth insists, frustration mounting at the lack of reaction from the rest of the family, "Next thing you know they'll be doing it every five minutes—"

"After ten years of respecting his time and right before his contract ends?" Judith asks, skeptical. "I think it's more likely there's a real emergency."

"Okay, and if there is why can't she call her rich family about it?" Ruth retorts. "We hardly ever see Joe—"

The heavy footfall of a grown man sprinting down the stairs cut Ruth short, Joe reappearing in the cramped, tiny living room and immediately going for the coat rack. That, at least, makes everyone pay attention. He doesn't even look pissed, is the thing, like it's perfectly normal for your boss--not even that, your bosses' kid--to call you from halfway around the world and start giving you orders long-distance. Ruth is about to protest, when Esther asks:

"You're leaving?"

"Just a couple hours," Joe says, sinking a hand into his pocket, presumably to check for his keys.

"She's not seriously sending you on an errand right now," Judith scowls, but Joe shakes his head.

"She had a car accident."

"Oh, shit," says Mom, one hand coming up to her mouth, "is she okay?"

"She says she's fine," Joe sighs, pausing to rest a hand on the back of Jake's chair and sighs in a way that makes him look profoundly relieved and unfairly burdened at the same time. "But Hoob and Van--I mean, the two guys she was traveling with are dead so she's probably downplaying her stuff."

Ruth's stomach clenches. She doesn't like any of the Websters on principle, and she's big enough to admit she's jealous, sometimes, that this Virginia girl seems closer to her brother than she feels... but she's not enough of an asshole to resent her Joe's concern right now. Basic decency and all that. That doesn't mean Ruth can't get confused, though.

"I don't understand," she tells Joe, "she's in Germany, what the hell can you do from here?"

"She's not in Germany, they were on a road trip to Belgium," Joe says wiping a hand over his face. "Place called Bastogne, apparently. She's got a friend who'll be willing to fly out, but he goes incommunicado during holidays so since his break residence isn't far she asked if I could drive there and let him know the what's what."

"What about her parents?" Mom asks, having firmly veered from potential irritation to concern.

Joe scoffs, dismissive.

"I'm the driver and she called me first, Ma, what do you think?"

Ruth stays quiet, but quietly adds a new, somewhat surprising reason why the Websters sound like fucking assholes. It doesn't make it okay that Joe's going to miss his last shabbat before he has to go back East, but it does make it easier to decide not to give him grief over it. She sighs, twisting her fingers together, and tells Joe:

"You'll be careful on the road, right?"

"Sure."

"And you let us know how it goes," Al adds, no room for argument in her tone.

"Yeah," Joe says, sighing again and fishing his car keys out of his pocket. "I'll eat when I'm back, don't wait up."

Mom nods, but Ruth knows they're all going to wait anyway. It's not like the food can't keep, after all, and as miffed as she was that Joe has to leave at all she doesn't want him to be penalized for helping a friend, thanks. So: they wait. Ruth trounces Jacob at pocker, then looses all of her peanuts to Alma when they bet on UNO, and then they dust off the snakes and ladder board with a corner chewed up from when Esther was little and in her eating paper phase.

And when Joe comes back with the reassuring news that the guy he want to fetch is flying out in the next couple of hours--thank you private jets, apparently--it's with a gift basket that's worth more than Jake's rent, so. There are compensations too.