#I barely have the energy to be myself let alone anyone else

[asirensrage]

You nasty. Leave. You not welcome in the OC community and neither is your alter ego vixen. We speak the truth about you and other people 👌

Babygirl, you can't even use proper grammar when sending anon hate, let alone be willing to use logic and accept that you don't speak for everyone. If you don't like me, you're free to unfollow or block me. Same thing I do to blogs I don't want to see. Strange concept, I know. You're just out trying to cause problems because you're upset about something. Sounds like a you problem, not a me (or anyone else's) problem.

btw, since you seem to have a hard time grasping the concept, baseless accusations isn't proof. Neither is reaching out and pretending to be others. Proof is that thing you can't seem to provide when people ask for it when you make those accusations...

[prettyinpurplelights]

hii ur writing is SOO SOO good im practically going insane over ur mbappe writings. could u pls write smth about mbappe being sick and reader having to take care of him but he's just enjoying being a brat and clinging to reader ? like imagine taking care of this manchild. imagine the HAVOC he would wreck if he didn't get a kiss from his gf

HOUR OF NEED

Heyy, thank you for your lovely words, means so much 🫶🏿 hope this is okay!

“You’re leaving me here all by myself? This is your fault.” Your boyfriend sniffles, pouting as you put on your jacket, ready to leave the house.

“I warned you about kissing me last week when I was sick.”

“But your mouth was so nice and warm.”

“And now here we are.”

“So you’re going to abandon me in my hour of need?”

“Kylian, it’s just a cold. You’ll survive.” You roll your eyes.

“I hope you know those may be your last words to me. Ever! Who knows if I’ll still be alive and breathing when you get back.” He shivers dramatically and you grab your bag, placing your phone in your coat pocket.

“I spent all day yesterday playing nurse Ky, I have to go to the office.”

“And you think if nurses just left their patients before they got better, anyone would recover?”

“You are a ridiculous man Kylian Mbappe. You have a runny nose and a high temperature, just keep hydrated and take your pills. I’ll see you at 6.” You reach over to kiss his forehead and he rolls over and pulls the covers high over his head.

“You don’t deserve to kiss me.” His voice his muffled under the blankets and you laugh.

“Whatever you big baby.” You call as you shut the bedroom door behind you.

————

“So if we push the campaign from this angle, I think the overall engagement would-“

PING!

Your phone buzzes for the hundredth time in the last 10 minutes since you started giving your pitch to the newest clients at your firm. You reach for your phone to turn it off, apologising profusely, when it starts ringing and you see your boyfriend’s face lighting up the screen.

“I’m so sorry, I just have to take this very quickly, I really apologise.” You hold your hands in a prayer sign before scrambling out of the office with the phone to your ear.

“Kylian, what the hell do you want.”

“Y/N…” his voices sounds strained and breathless, and you immediately begin to worry.

“Kyky? Baby what’s wrong?”

“I just…can you…” He coughs violently and you wince. He really doesn’t sound good, and you feel start to feel a little guilty for leaving him alone. “Can you…come home please? E…Emergency.” He croaks out that last part, as though he doesn’t have the energy to do anything else.

“Oh baby. I’ll be there as soon as I can okay? I’m sorry for not taking you seriously. I’m leaving the office as soon as I can.”

“Thank you,” he breathes before hanging up abruptly and you think the absolute worst. Maybe it wasn’t just a cold, maybe it was something worse, and now he’s alone and confused and deteriorating. You head back into the conference room, chewing on the inside of your cheek anxiously.

“Everything okay Y/N?” Your boss asks.

“Yes, ummm, it’s just my boyfriend is really ill right now, and he’s just called me and he doesn’t sound too good so I’m a bit worried that’s all. But we can get this pitch finished up and I’ll go and quickly see him on my lunch break-“

“Kylian is ill?” He says, shocked as if you’d just told him his own mother on was on her death bed. “Oh no, you must go to him right away. We have the PowerPoint and your notes, Lisa can finish your pitch.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes of course, I hope he makes a speedy recovery.”

“Thank you so much, and I really am sorry.” You disconnect your laptop from the hdmi cable connected to the project and slide it into your handbag.

“Don’t worry about it Y/N, please let us know how he’s doing tomorrow, you don’t have to come in if he’s still not feeling well.” He smiles. You thank him one last time before rushing out of the office and down to the elevator to the underground car park. You barely lock your seatbelt in place before hightailing it out of the building.

“Kylian!” You yell as soon as you make it back into the apartment. You drop your bag at the door and hurry up the steps, taking them two at time. It’s not long before you’re bursting into the bedroom. “Ky, baby what’s wrong? Have your symptoms gotten worse?” You sit on the bed, taking his sweaty face into your hands. “I’m sorry for leaving you baby.”

“You’re back.” He croaks.

“Of course,” you sigh leaning in to kiss him and he lets you this time. “What was so urgent?”

“I…the bistro is out of chicken soup and I really want some chicken soup, I was wondering if you could make some for me please?” You drop his head, and he falls back onto the pillow violently.

“Ouch!” He moans, rubbing his head.

“Kylian…” you close your eyes, your right hand pressing on the bridge of your nose. “Kylian, do not tell me you pulled me out of work because you want FUCKING SOUP!”

“I missed you too?” He pouts.

“Kylian! I was in an important meeting with my boss!”

“The one that’s the PSG fan? I’ll have someone send him some tickets to our next game, he’ll be fine.” You roll your eyes.

“Of course that’s why he let me leave the office without hesistation….but that’s not the point Ky!”

“Look babe, I’m sorry for making you leave work.” He doesn’t look sorry in the slightest and it pisses you off even more. “But I mean…you’re here now? So…”

“So???”

He opens his arms, his eyes wide as he smiles. “Come spend the day in bed with me.” You throw a pillow at him, landing in the space his open arms created, before storming out of the room.

“Where are you going?” He calls out.

“To make YOUR FUCKING SOUP!“ you shout back. “Tu es un putain d’idiot!”

———

You feel someone’s arms wrap around you as you’re stirring the soup and you shrug your shoulders.

“Get off me Kylian.” You mumble.

“Are you mad at me?” He asks, holding you tighter as he presses a kiss into your neck.

“Kylian Mbappe Lottin, I’m within an arms reach of very sharp objects. Get the fuck off me.”

“No.” He insists, burying his head further into your neck. “I want to hug you. I read somewhere hugs and kisses when you’re sick are very healing.” He moves from behind you to stand by your side, his arms around your shoulders instead, leaning forward with his eyes closed and lips pursed. You shove the teaspoon you were using to taste the soup into his mouth instead and push him off you as you untie your apron and place it on the work surface.

“You can keep your kisses. I’m not trying to get sick again.”

“You kissed me earlier when you came back?”

“Yeah when I thought you were on your death bed you manipulative man child.”

“Oh Y/N, come on!” He whines, stomping his feet. “I’m not a baby.” You look at his stomping foot and raise an eyebrow. He stops and his lips turn up in a little smile. “Okay fine, maybe I am a baby. But I’m your baby. And your baby is sick and needs you. He needs your kisses. Desperately or he might drop to the floor right now.”

“Drop. I don’t care, I’m not kissing you.”

“But I said I’m sorry!” He groans.

“And you’re forgiven. But I’m not kissing you. I don’t want to get sick again.”

“Actually,” he says, coming up to you as you reach into a cabinet above the sink to grab two bowls. “Since I caught this cold from you, it’s the same strain, and you can’t catch a cold twice with the same strain of virus. So you can kiss me as much as you want.”

“And since when did you become Dr. Mbappe.”

“I did some reading in the 3 hours you abandoned me.” You slide past him and start serving up the soup in the bowls.

“Good for you.”

He takes the bowls from you and sets them on the island before backing you up against the counter. The blanket around his shoulders falls to the floor as he rests his arms either side of you on the granite worktop, trapping your body between his.

“Just one kiss.” He whispers against your lips, his face barely an inch from yours. “Please. Just one.”

“Fine.” You press your lips against his lightly, ready to pull away but his hands cage your face, and he presses his lips harder against yours, deepening the kiss. You both pull away eventually breathless, your hand around his neck.

“Better?” You ask in a low voice.

“I’m cured.” He murmurs, before he suddenly recoils and sneezes all over your face.

“DUDE!” You shout, pushing him away as you reach for a tissue.

“Well, almost cured.” He laughs, stopping when he sees your stone cold expression, your eyes shooting daggers at him. You shove his bowl of soup into his chest and go to sit on the sofa with yours. You soon feel Kylian snuggle up next to you, lying down dramatically with his hand over his forehead.

“I suddenly feel weak and dizzy, I don’t think I can hold myself up Y/N.”

“What? You want me to feed you the soup now?”

“If you insist.” He smirks.

“You are unbelievable,” You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling too as you pick up the bowl and hold a spoonful to his lips.

“I also think a kiss in between each spoonful will really help speed up my recovery process.” He nods as he slurps the soup from the spoon.

“You know what, you should legally change your name to Mbaby.”

“Haha funny.” He retorts. He points to the soup, then his lips before opening his mouth wide. You intentionally put the bowl down and pull out your phone, flipping the camera to selfie mode and holding it up so both you and Kylian are in the frame simultaneously.

“Look at this big baby here,” You start, as you press the live option on your instagram. “Big boy Kylian Mbappe lying here while I feed him soup because he’s got a little cold he can’t handle.” Kylian reaches up to grab your phone but you leap from the sofa to the other side of the coffee table.

“Y/N, turn it off.”

“Oh look,” you say into the camera. “Suddenly he has the energy to get up. You should’ve seen him merely a few seconds ago guys, acting as though he had the plague.”

“Y/N, I’m warning you.”

You laugh as you read some of the comments from the fans on your live, getting louder as you see one from his teammate.

“Ky, Achraf said stop being such a pussy!”

“That’s it!” Kylian says before leaping over the table, but you’re a tad quicker than he is, dodging his lunge and making a break for it into the kitchen. “Cut the live Y/N, or I swear-“

“Or what?” You taunt, flipping the camera so it’s facing him as he stares you down from the other end of the island in the middle of the kitchen. You quickly slip through the door and up the steps before he can reach you, but Kylian proves himself to be one of the fastest men in the world once again because he’s grabbing onto your shirt just as you reach the top of the steps pulling you to the floor, his full weight on top of you as you raise your arm as high as you can out of his reach.

“Okay guys, I have to go, it’s time to feed baby Kyky his cough syrup.” You say just as Kylian grabs the phone out of your hand and turns it off.

“Looks like you’re suddenly feeling better hmm?” You tease, laughing.

“You…” He starts but his sentence trails and he pulls the blanket over his mouth before sneezing into it loudly. He sniffs, rolling over so he’s lying next to you, wheezing and breathless. “You’re so lucky I’m ill. Once this cold is gone, you’re dead.”

———

Tried to make it a bit fluffy, I feel like it probably wasn’t that fluffy aksjsksk enjoy ! <3

[sparrowrye]

Demi Demo || Alastor x Reader, A2 part 19

Synopsis: It’s been over a year since we were brought under Alastor’s watchful eye. We’ve unlocked our Demonic powers, discovered our own talents, and began building the Safe Haven with Charlie and co. Alastor seems increasingly interested in the power we hold as one and intends to use it properly.

Previous part

Part 19: magic or not

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was left alone.

No amount of screaming or silence got anyone's attention. The pain contorted my body, my veins pulsing like needles, and spine spasming. I slammed the back of my back against the wall to get the headband off but it did nothing. There was nothing vital on that side to make it break or fall off. It only made my head hurt more.

Tears streamed down my cheeks until I had no energy left, slumping to one side against my arm. My body twitched and convulsed, but I had no energy left to do anything about it. My vision darkened as my lungs lacked precious oxygen.

Something stirred inside me. It felt like a thread being unwrapped. It was magic related, I could tell, but I didn't know what exactly was happening to me. I worried what would happen next but there was nothing to do except wait.

The feeling happened again. It was in the back of my mind, as if it wasn't actually part of me. I wondered if it was supposed to be freeing but it didn't quite have that effect. It tickled the inside of my mind and body, nothing else.

I thought back to Alastor. I might end up killing us both. Why was I always failing? I had been successful my entire life up until I met him. I had defeated all my opponents yet now I barely managed to kill a single powerful Demon. It took so much effort just to kill Striker and he wasn't even a true Overlord.

I thought to when I first tasted his blood in the kitchen. I could almost feel his hands in my hair again, gently tugging on it to get me to stop. I remembered dancing with him in the living room. He had held true to his promise and hadn't made fun of me. He had finally revealed parts of himself and his past.

I remembered when he kissed me. I remembered how warm I had felt. His lips had been oddly soft and his earthy scent made me feel like I was supposed to be there, supposed to be next to him.

Guilt gnawed at me. He had probably been honest. He was probably telling me the truth when we were talking after the fact. Had he actually fallen in love with me? When had that happened?

I remembered his hand on my shoulder as we argued with the Vees. I had felt confident with him there. Even when Vox taunted him, I still felt somewhat confident. The two of us. Together. If people feared me as much as they feared him, I would never find myself in this kind of situation again. People would never come near us or the haven.

Yet here I was, trapped and helpless. All from my own doing. And now I would lose Reagan because of it.

As much as I hated needing him, I wished Alastor was here to help.

As if hearing my plea, he melted out of my shadow and came to stand in front of me. I felt his cold claws lift my face as the headband broke into pieces. It clattered to the floor and my magic gradually came back. Alcine finally came out of my normal shadow.

"Blood," I murmured. An instant later his black blood touched my lips. I lazily ran my tongue along the cut on his palm and tried to bite down, but failed. My physical energy was still gone. My jaw was weak from clenching it so tight for so long, making it next to impossible to press my teeth further into the wound.

He attempted to make it deeper, the blood falling faster, but even my tongue and lips couldn't move very fast. My arms suddenly dropped from the chains and I let out a cry of pain. I fell back against the wall, foot claws sliding out from underneath, still shackled to the floor.

My head lolled to the side and if it wasn't for his hand I would've fallen over on my side. I tried calling on the shadow souls for energy but it was as slow as my physical movements. Just breathing hurt.

"My apologies dear." His other hand lifted my chin as his presence went straight through my shields and filled my entire mind with him. Green filled my vision as his hot magic seeped into my veins. His magic blended with mine, twisting and melding it into something else.

I didn't realize until I felt his blood soothing my aching throat that he was kissing me. His own blood pressed through his teeth and straight into my mouth. My body lurched forward as the combination of all kinds of magic took hold of me. My body buzzed with our shared energy as a magenta color spun around us.

He broke the kiss and I snapped the chains off my feet. I pushed off the wall with newfound energy. Anger coursed through me as Blackwater opened the door, his shadow stretching across the floor to sit at my feet.

Alastor's shadow suddenly disappeared and half my energy went with it. What just happened? I leaned on Alastor for support as he bristled at the new threat.

"Nice to finally meet you, Alastor." He closed the door behind him but didn't come any closer. Something was wrong. My magic was gone as quickly as it had been gifted back. I could feel Alastor's magic just out of reach, too.

"Blackwater, I presume." Alastor spoke as if nothing had happened, as if his magic wasn't just striped from his fingers. His glaring eyes paired perfectly with his smile.

"You'd be correct. Like my new invention?" He raised his hands to the ceiling. "Why be restricted to just a headband when I can turn it into a whole room? Now, we're just two equal men."

"I'm afraid magic isn't what puts you on the same level as someone," Alastor answered. "You have yet to prove yourself as my equal, and I'll have you know, no one has gotten there."

"Not even your precious soulmate?" He nodded his head to me, hands back in his pockets.

Alastor's grip on my shoulder tightened. "You have my attention, Blackwater. So what would you like to do with it?"

The man let out a chuckle. "Keep you out of my way." He threw his hand out of his pocket and sent a blaze of fire at us. We both pushed the other away as the fire split us, the flames nearly reaching the ceiling. Alastor used his cane to stand up and face Blackwater.

I ran at the man first but he casted wind to throw me back against the wall. A small crack popped in back as I slid to the floor. How was he using magic but ours was gone? How was he even using magic at all? He wore no metal backpack.

Alastor's form was entirely black through the flames, smile wicked and wide open as Blackwater casted again. I stayed on all fours and ran along the edges of the room. It caught Blackwater's attention long enough for Alastor to move. The man threw me head first into the wall before Alastor managed to impale the back of his shoulder with his claws.

Blackwater cried out and casted water over Alastor's head. He wrenched his claws out of Blackwater's body and tried to bat the water away. It stayed wrapped around his head, preventing him from breathing.

World spinning, I pushed off the wall and threw my body into his legs. He fell backwards over me and slammed his head into the floor. I closed my eyes to keep myself from getting sick, grabbed at his coat, and buried my claws in his leg.

He screamed and casted fire at my face. Alastor just barely managed to pull me back by my collar. The heat grazed my face as I fell back on top of him. I shook my head, world orienting itself right, and watched Blackwater struggle to his one good foot.

I got back on all fours and zig zagged. I jumped over the casts of fire and went his wind, using its momentum to move faster along the edge of the room. Alastor grabbed his cane before moving towards Blackwater. His main concern was obviously Alastor as he ignored me to cast at him.

I jumped for his feet again, sliding across the floor and knocking him down a second time. I stood up against the door, barely avoiding the wave of fire he casted up. He rolled onto his feet, hands up again.

Alastor pointed his cane at Blackwater but did nothing. They stared at each other, both breathing heavily from the fight. I looked to the door that was partially melting away. I took one step back and threw my body into the lower half.

It folded against my weight and I slipped out the hole. My magic immediately came back to me like fresh air. I quickly casted an illusion on Blackwater to allow Alastor time to snake out of the room.

Something cold wrapped around my throat and hoisted me to my feet. Alastor froze in place as he eyed the person restraining me.

"Don't come any closer!" Finn yelled in my ear. He took several steps back then held a knife right over my heart. "It'll end you both. Don't test me!"

I noticed Alastor's shadow on his wrist before he did. The shadow pulled his hand away from my heart and threw him over the railing. His yell was cut short when he landed on something that splintered apart.

Alastor raised his hands and the sound of large metal screeching echoed through the warehouse. I could feel exactly what he was doing with his magic. The earth opened its mouth and was slowly swallowing the entire building. He punctured gas pipes and lit them aflame, casting everything in a huge, hot orange fire.

"Reagan. Reagan!" I looked around the warehouse. Where did he take her? Where was he? We both turned to see the room empty save for puddles of blood.

Then I heard Reagan. I heard her yelling my name and pounding on a door. I followed the sound, avoiding the collapsing metal beams and blowtorched gas lines. My entire body was sweating and muscles aching.

I found the door she was hitting on. I bent the metal door handle and yanked it open. She immediately wrapped her arms around me, nearly sending us over the railing like Finn. I enclosed her in my own arms and accepted Alastor's hand.

He took us through the shadows far away from the warehouse. Reagan refused to let go of me even once we touched the ground. Alastor looked through the trees and bent the building further into the chasm he had created, the earth successfully swallowing it whole.

Then all was silent.

Alastor kept his gaze on where the building had been. Reagan kept her arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I kept my eyes on Alastor's back and my hand on her shoulder.

"Alastor," I breathed. His ear twitched and he turned his head just slightly to look at me over his shoulder. "Thank you."

He glanced at the now empty clearing. "A thank you is in order for you, as well." He finally turned to face us, eyes briefly looking at Reagan's crying form. "I will send you two back. I must stay here a while longer."

I nodded, understanding perfectly why he needed to do that. He reached over to push a collection of hair out of my face, knuckles gently grazing my cheek. A moment later, we were back in the center of the Haven.

****

Blackwater pushed everything he had into the latch. It groaned open, weeds snapping and dirt crumbling into the manhole. He put a knee up on the surface and leaned into his shoulder to open the latch the rest of the way. He fell forward, cheek hitting the soft grass.

He laid like that for a while, pain radiating through his chest and shoulders. His team of six were all nursing their own injuries back to health.

"You alright, sir?" Finn knelt beside him. He accepted the help to sit up, groaning as he did. "What do we do now?" He helped Blackwater shed his bloodied coat. The sacks of blood taped on the inside were empty now, one of them with claw sized holes. Finn carefully took the tubes out of the back of Blackwater's arms and tossed the mess to the side.

"We recover and try again." Blackwater held a hand over his heart despite the pain being in the back of his shoulder. How close had Alastor been to impaling his heart from behind?

"I need a scout," Finn ordered, looking to see who was the least injured. One of his arms was completely immobile and he was holding himself up at a funny angle, probably from the fall.

Blackwater wasn't one for accepting help, let alone working as a team rather than as a command. Yet he was grateful to have Finn with him. The man had joined him when he was just a teenager and has never come back from a job empty handed or unsuccessful in some way.

Finn ordered the scout to run to the nearest village to get contact. The nearest Blackwater asset would send a team with magic to come get them. They just had to last until then.

It was well into the afternoon by the time their team arrived. He had lost two men in the meantime. The healer fixed Blackwater first before moving to the others who were still alive.

He stood up and snatched a phone from the nearest person, tossing it into Finn's lap so he wouldn't fumble it like he did with Python's blood.

"Get the damn doctor on the phone," he ordered, turning to look at the injured group. "Tell him his timeframe just got shorter."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note:

Alakazam!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@wendigonamecaller @saccharine-nectarine

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Catch and Release

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: AU where Jason doesn't die in the explosion and he and Tim end up attending the same high school months later.

Chapters: 8/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Sebastian Ives, Jack Drake, Janet Drake

Relationships: TBA

Additional Tag: Jason Todd Lives, Jason Todd-centric, POV Jason Todd, POV First Person, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Jason Todd is Not Robin (Anymore), Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Alfred Pennyworth Knows, Stalker Tim Drake, Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain, Jason Todd Has PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unlikely Friends, Injury Recovery, Emotional Baggage, Rage, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating

Chapter Eight: Pain in the Head

I hung out with Tim's friends and worked on character sheets. I spent three hours there before I told Tim I had to go. I had a great time. Don't get me wrong. But I was nauseous and didn't want to be sick at his house. Ives planned on sleeping over at Tim's place, so I didn't have to feel bad about leaving him home alone. I got a ride to the manor, and Bruce sat on the porch waiting for me as soon as I arrived. "Where have you been?" Bruce asked.

"I could ask you the same thing, Bruce... Can I go inside now?" I asked.

"You're pale," Bruce replied.

I wanted to lie down and nap, but I could tell Bruce didn't plan on letting things go. I didn't have the time or energy to explain myself, so I did what any reasonable teenager would do. I made myself throw up and burst into tears. "Jason," Bruce sighed before helping me to the family room. He couldn't accuse me of anything while I was sick. That and throwing up stopped the onset of a migraine.

"I'm so sorry, Bruce-."

"It's fine... When is the last time you took-. I swore I wouldn't ask you that," Bruce replied.

"I didn't think I needed them anymore... I thought I'd been feeling better lately," I replied. Bruce felt my forehead.

"I've been home for two days, and you-. Jason, I'm sorry for walking out on you. I wasn't trying to hurt you... I'm-. Our bond is different from the bond I have with anyone else. I'm holding on for dear life with you... And I know I'm losing you. I feel like you're slipping away when I look at you.

"I can't take the thought of knowing you suffered because I chose to leave you alone that day. Jason, you're so precious to me... And I'm terrified that if I let you talk about what happened, you'll say what I've been most afraid to hear," Bruce confessed. I wasn't in the mood for a serious conversation, but he was finally willing to speak about what happened to me.

"I don't hate you... And I don't blame you for what happened. I've been trying to tell you all this time," I paused, "I'm sure Dick told you I wanna die sometimes... But you don't realize what I have to experience every day."

Bruce exhaled through his nose. "Go ahead..."

"I wake up under debris almost every day... And then I lie about my nerve pain, which I know everyone can see. By the time I get to the mirror, I'm already so disheartened by the countless efforts I've made to appear normal that I barely notice my scars anymore. When I shower, my skin still hurts like the burns are fresh, and I want to cry, but if I do, I'd never get anything done. Then, I come down for breakfast... And sometimes the medications I'm on make me so sick I don't want to eat, but I know I'd be worse off if I didn't.

"Then I go to school, and you wouldn't believe what they say about me," I swallowed hard.

"Jason-."

"But I endure it because I know I have to... What I can't stomach is the isolation. Don't ice me out, Bruce," I begged. Bruce sighed.

"I don't know how-. I can't pretend that almost losing you didn't change the entire way I had to look at our life. You can't be Robin anymore, Jason, and I feel awful for having to take that away from you," Bruce whispered.

"You're saying our, but you mean mine. How can you expect me to step down from being Robin when you can't even walk away from being Batman?" I asked.

"Jason, it's been over a year, and you're still healing. I can't risk putting you out in the field again. Gotham needs Batman-."

"Bullshit," I snapped.

"Language-." "Oh! Go to hell! I told you about all my issues, thinking you would finally see me, and I realized you're no better than the rest of them!" I yelled. I couldn't help but get mad. I should've seen it coming. He'd never had the guts to say it, but I knew this was his way of shutting me out for good. It pissed me off. I threw my crutches and hobbled upstairs.

"Jason! Jason, you can't-!"

"Screw you!" I yelled as I went to my room. I slammed the door and packed my bag. I almost forgot I felt sick. He saw me as weak. That was the worst thing he could've ever opened his mouth to admit. He was no better than everyone that gaped and gawked at me. I was his walking tragedy, and I'd be damned if I let him treat me like a ghost.

I started packing with tears in my eyes. I wanted to get out of there before I said something vile. "Jason, don't be like this! Please come out and talk to me-."

"Bruce, I need to get the hell away from you before I say something I regret!" I hollered. "And I guarantee that if you follow me, I will never come home! Leave my crutches and get away from me!" I sat down and texted Tim. He was the only person I could trust at that moment. I asked him to come to get me, and he texted me immediately. I waited in my room until Tim texted me, and I left my bedroom. Bruce left my crutches in front of the door and retreated like always. I slung my duffel across my body like a messenger bag, hoping it wouldn't throw me off balance.

I swung the door open and left it like that. Tim took my bag and opened his mouth to ask if I was okay, but he kept quiet. It was for the best because I was in a particularly heinous mood. I fell asleep in the car and woke up in Tim's guest room. He was on the floor with Ives, eating pizza. My head throbbed, and I felt sicker than I did earlier. Ives glanced at me and got up to turn the lights down. "Sorry, were we too loud?" Ives questioned.

"No, I-. How long have I been out?" I asked.

"Thirty minutes... Maybe an hour," Tim answered, "Do you need an aspirin?"

I pressed my palms against my eyelids. "No thanks... Tim, do you-? Who carried me in?" I asked.

"We both did. Tim got you out of the car but wasn't strong enough to get you up the stairs. It was a team effort," Ives answered, "You're heavier than you look." I let out a soft chuckle despite the pounding in my head.

"Know how I asked you to move in with me?" I questioned. "Could it still work if it were the other way around?"

"You wanna live here?" Tim asked. I nodded. "Alright." I was shocked. I thought he'd say no, but he looked thrilled.

[isa-ghost]

shaking you by the shoulders. gnawing at the bars of the enclosure. begging screaming yelling sobbing crying for some happy qphil hcs . phil and his children. what do they do to destress. how do they recover from tragedy . p lease

Yknow what I need these so badly rn, I'm doing this ask first. Happy qPhil time.

qPhil headcanons masterlist

qPhil is a simple man. His kids are happy, he's happy. I've touched on this previously but they make him laugh so much. They're the fastest way to make him happy.

Seeing random pretty birds while on wandering adventures is another thing that makes him happy. They make him think of Rose.

I have to mention flying. I have to. I know it's angsty bc his wings are fucked. Shhh. Shut. Shut the up. It made him so happy. It still does, he has a glider and a grapple hook and a trident with riptide SHUT UP LET HIM FLY.

The times he and the kids share music together. The kids fucking love Battlecry and Dreamland and the three of them will start belting it out together.

Obligatory sparring mention. Listen some of the fandom makes pvp his whole thing and personality and that's not true but he's still good at it and likes it a lot. Esp when he gets to be unnecessarily homoerotic with Fit or Etoiles.

Building makes him happy ofc. Creating in general. He can't remember atm but he used to be an architect you could say, discovering the creations of the hardcore gods and tidying them up. Getting to make creations of his own for someone like him to discover one day feels fulfilling, even if he doesn't quite know why currently.

His friends' laughs make him happy. Fit's especially. You know the one. The one he does anytime he gets to be up to some fun destructive rebellious bullshit.

Messages aren't the only way the gods, especially Rose and Kristin, communicate with him. They give little signs that are subtle enough to go unquestioned by others but noticed by him. They're always with him and that makes his heart full.

I can't not mention his own stupid jokes he makes with the purpose of making Tallulah especially die inside a little. His lame jokes are for him and him alone sometimes.

The funny thing is when you ask what makes him happy without the involvement of other people, it might take him a second to answer, if he can answer at all. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Yes, he's very "care for others and only the bare minimum for myself," but it's also a testament to how being loved and loving others makes him happy. Having people to make smile and laugh. Having people to show cool shit and teach cool things. Human connection makes him happy.

His crows and their dumbassery make him happy. For all the shit they affectionately subject him to and all the disapproval he puts on about the said shit, he'd be pretty lost without them. They've always been reliable to make him smile or at least feel heard when he has no one else.

He fucking loves all the cultural exchange he experiences with his friends. He could listen to Missa or Cellbit or Etoiles or literally fucking anyone talk for hours. God his friends are so cool and so are the things they tell him about.

Obligated to mention that the thought of Chayanne, a child, beat Ender King's ass for 3 days straight and bruised his ego so hard he gave up using Phil as a meat suit. It always cracks him up without fail.

Getting to reminisce to people about things. Especially memories of Techno or things he's done with Goddess of Death. He loves any excuse to talk about them and how awesome they are.

Crow brain means adventuring and finding cool loot makes him happy. Fuck EK he tainted it a little but Phil will reclaim the hobby if it kills him. He loves the rush of opening a new chest and seeing what cool shit awaits inside.

Okay listen this idiot is allergic to self care sometimes but god does he love the chill days where he and the kids just sit around or stay in one place and just hang out doing something fun and low energy. It's why he hates the reset. He wants the goddamn places they'd do that at back.

[chaeinedup]

Defeated

It's moments like these that you would rather be living alone. No offense to Wooyoung, he's an amazing housemate, but when you're on your period you become a different person. Due to the pain and disconfort you get irritated easily and just want to rot in bed for as long as you can.

Wooyoung is more than willing to take care of you, you just don't want anyone to see you in such state. So when he knocked on your door you couldn't help but tell him to go away.

"C'mon y/n you can't stay there a whole week. Imagine how boring it would be. Let me at least keep you company."

"Noooo, go do something else, please let me be."

He's not a quitter so he simply barged in like it was his own room.

"You know you're being a pain in my ass by not being a pain in the ass. You're supposed to yell at me for having the TV too loud, or for forgetting to take the trash out. This is no fun."

"I barely have the energy to have this conversation, do you think I'd yell at you?"

"Then let me take care of you for once, it's not fair you baby me when I catch a flu but I can't do the same to you."

You kept rolling your eyes mostly because of your sickness but he had a point. So after much thinking you gave him what he wanted, there's no way you could argue with wooyoung in this state and win.

You lifted the covers on the empty side of the bed and he flashed you his most honest smile.

"I knew you couldn't resist me."

"It's never too late to kick you out, quite literally."

"Not if I glue myself to you. If i go down you go down with me."

He tried wrapping his arms around your body but you quickly slapped his hands away.

"I'm too uncomfortable to be playing with you."

"I'll be gentle I promise, I'll rub your back, I'll play with your hair, playful woo is not in the room with us."

You once again gave in, his proposal was very tempting even if your pride wasn't letting you accept it fully, your silence was enough of a confirmation for Wooyoung.

He didn't lie when he said he'd be gentle, not like you ever doubted his words, but somehow this was helping way more than any medicine ever did.

And before you knew it you were sound asleep in your best friends arms.

previous// //next

[atomic-thomas]

(Fake ASMR Commission) Yandere Giantess Kidnaps You [REMAKE]

*giant footstep sounds right out the gate until specified stopping point*

“Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum! How much longer are you able to run?”

…

“You know I’m just toying with you, right? I’m walking slowly on purpose. I can end this silly game whenever I want.”

…

“It’s a game to me. I find it quite entertaining to watch you try & flee, futile as it is. By all means… Continue running as fast as your little legs can carry you. It amuses me. Ahaha~”

…

“Aww, what’s the matter? Slowing down already? Tiring out so soon? But I was having so much fun.”

*footstep sounds stop*

“Pity… It appears that you’ve tripped over a tree branch. Such a shame. Now you lay there… Exhausted… And helpless. Now it’s my turn to strike.”

“Here comes my giant hand~ Hehe~”

“Now… To firmly wrap my fingers around you… And clench my fist shut.”

“You’re all mine now. Mine to do whatever I want with. What shall I do? Hmmm… Perhaps I could… Crush you~ Or maybe even… Eat you~ You’d probably taste delicious.”

…

“You really want me to just get it over with already. My, my… I didn’t think you’d be so eager to meet your fate. Very well. If you insist.”

“Mmm~” *kiss sound*

…

“Ahahahahahahahaha~! I wish you could see the look on your face right now! I’ve never seen such a stark expression of shock & confusion on anyone before.”

“Ahhhhh… Well, I suppose the jig is up now. I’ll just go ahead & say it.”

“All of that… Was a jest.”

…

“Hehehe~ You certainly look delighted to hear that. I never had any intention of hurting you. I would never do that to you.”

…

“I did all that because… It’s just fun acting like a storybook fairytale giant. With that poetic catchphrase & the menacing facade. Flaunting my incredible size & awesome strength.”

“But it was all just for show. A bravado. A spectacle. In reality… I’m actually quite the soft-hearted individual.”

…

“Don’t mince words, little one. Being soft-hearted doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m ‘Pure’-hearted. Despite everything… I have a confession to make.”

“There’s another reason why I did this.”

…

“My reason for picking you up is because… I’m kidnapping you now. Not exactly something a pure-hearted person would do.”

*giant footstep sounds continue until specified stopping point*

“I know that sounds alarming seeing that I just spared your life. But I shall explain where I’m taking you & what my plans are. I think it’ll be of great interest to you. So please remain calm & hear me out.”

“I’m very deeply in love with you.”

…

“Do I really have to justify myself? What do you want me to say? ‘Oh, darling~ I love you because X, Y & Z~! I’d go to any length to show you my dedication~! I’ll destroy anyone who does so little as breathe in your direction~!’ Or other such ridiculous Yandere stereotypes.”

…

“Yes… I am a Yandere. I’m well aware of that fact. Although… To be honest… I barely qualify. I’m more of a Soft Yandere.”

…

“Tell me, little one. What comes to mind when you think of Yanderes? Crazed obsessive girls who’ve driven themselves insane over their romantic interests & build shrines for them? Blood-stained knives? Black-mailing? Other such criminal activity?”

…

“Yeah, you see… None of those apply to me. I’d much rather not bring harm to others. It’s wrong. And it would also make me a huge target. I know better.”

“I’m surprised that I was willing to go as far as kidnapping you. This hyperfixation I have towards you is hard to resist.”

…

“The reason I chose you instead of anyone else… Let alone a fellow giant… Is for the same reason why I love you.”

“There is no reason. It’s unconditional.”

…

“Do you finally realize the situation you’re in? A beautiful, powerful giantess has decided to dedicate her time & energy to you. And devote her entire life to loving you. Just because.”

…

“Okay, well… Fine. You got me. It’s not JUST because. I admittedly don’t like being lonely. I was just torn for so long as to whether or not I was willing to kidnap a human for my cause. And well… Here we are.”

…

“Yes… It IS selfish. I won’t defend my imperfect behavior. But then again… I wasn’t trying to be perfect anyway. And I don’t think you’d do that either. Most people probably wouldn’t.”

“So tell me… How do you feel about getting kidnapped now that you know all of this information?”

…

“Still unsure. Well… Since you are to be my partner for life… It’s out of love & respect that I should listen to your concerns. What are you worried about?”

…

“No… You’re not going to be my ‘Pet’. That would be so degrading. Imagine… Locking you in a cage… Feeding you unfulfilling crumbs of my food… And watching as you wallow in a prison of boredom for the rest of your life. You’d surely go mad. You deserve better.”

“I don’t want you to feel restricted or restrained in our relationship. I want you to feel free. To feel as if you were never kidnapped in the first place.”

“I want this relationship to feel normal… And equal.”

“You want that to… Don’t you? Do you understand now? We’ll be so much better off together. It’s mutually beneficial.”

“Just say that you love me… Please…”

…

“Haaaaahhhhhhh~ My heart feels like it’s fluttering! Thank You so much, darling.”

“Mmm~ *kiss sound*

…

“Oh! Yeah.. Haha… I still haven’t told you where we’re going. It’s just my home. Plain & simple.”

“Well… Maybe it’s not so plain & simple. I actually live in a hollowed out mountain. I didn’t feel like settling for a traditional giant home. They take up so much real estate. So I went for something more natural. And… Bonus… It has a clean waterfall in it. So I have a perpetual shower that’s active all the time. It’s great!”

…

“Well… Yes. I still need giant furniture & other various utilities. Can’t really survive without the essentials, you know?

“Anyway, we’ll be there soon. I know exactly what we should do when we arrive. You’re going to love it. And I know I will to.”

*footstep sounds stop*

……….

*door opening & closing sound*

“Here we are. Quite spacious, isn’t it? This mountain is enormous. Perfect for a giantess such as myself. And the luminous mushrooms make for great natural lighting. It’s so cozy.”

“Speaking of cozy… Would you like to cuddle on the couch? Twas what I had in mind.”

…

“Well, obviously we can’t cuddle in the traditional sense due to our drastic size disparity. But that’s okay. I know just the thing.”

“I’ll lay down… Place you on my bosom… And cover you with my hands. You know what that means, right?”

…

“Indeed. You’re going to be in the softest, warmest & most loving embrace that you’ve ever experienced in your entire life. So let’s do it.”

…

“Alright… Now… To place you on my chest… And rest my hands over you.”

*heartbeat sound for the rest of the audio*

“There we go. Hahhhhh~ This is so nice.”

“You can hear my heartbeat, right? It must be booming for you. Mighty, yet soothing. Good for the mind, body & soul.”

“I’m going to brush your hair with my thumb now, okay? Just want to make sure that you aren’t surprised by it.”

*swedish fish kun or grennifer intensifies for the rest of the audio*

“No matter how small you are compared to me, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still a person. I promise to always show you utmost respect.”

…

“Of course you can venture out & do your own thing. I’m not your captor. I’m your partner. If you want to visit your friends & family then that’s perfectly alright. In fact… You should introduce me to them sometime.”

…

“Well… Yeah. They might be afraid & bewildered at the sight of me, but… You’ll put in a good word for me, right?”

…

“Hehe~ I knew you would.”

“I love you, darling~”

_______________________________________________

THE END

[sebastianstansqueen]

Lost in The Shadows Sixteen

A/N: Hey I'm back, this is a little bitter sweet I will post the final part of this series soon, but that maybe my last post depending on later feelings, I'll always keep this account up however just very little interaction, Tumbler hasn't been what it was when I started using it like 4-5 years ago, when I was a freshmen in High School, it was a lot more fun and had a lot more interesting stories being posted at that time, I haven't found myself coming on here intentionally more out of boredom, and even then I don't see anything I'm interested in anymore. But this also could be a hiatus that last a few months to a year I don't know, my app will still be on my phone so don't be afraid to interact or ask me things, I still have another project I was working on and then stopped, I've also been so busy with my Job, that I just haven't had the energy to Wright like I used to be able to.

Wordcount: 1,404

Warnings:  Angst, Guns, then obviously Brock, kid’s, possible torturer, , If forgot anything let me know please!

Masterlist // Series Masterlist // Taglist open// 

Tags:@cherryblossomsky- @babylooneytoonz- @wonderlandfandomkingdom - @miraclesoflove - @amelia-song-pond- @leyannrae- @avengerlex- @pineprincess - @nik2write - @dorothea-hwldr - @rosie-posie08 - @scxrletrecsmarvel - @sebsgirl71479- @missvelvetsstuff- @hadesownhell - @casa-boiardi- @winterslove1917- @hallecarey1- @ash-craze - @barnesxstan - @unaxv - @bethexo07 - @itsmytimetoodream - @sebastians-love -@stoneyggirl2 - @ordelixx - @arunabrak - @cjand10

Four Years Ago

After coming back from being gone for months verging a year, Steve seemed to show up out of nowhere looking for Bucky. When Y/n answered and saw the policeman, her already pissed demeanor seemed to intensify, as her eyes shot looking at him that he knew he should already be ten feet into the earth with, he. “What do you want, Rogers?” She hissed. “You couldn’t give a mourning widow and Pregnant woman her space?” 

“Mourning Widow?” He asked, making her eyes widen with realization. 

“Uh, I’m sorry, you didn’t know, Bucky and I were attacked in Romania, where he was shot… twice.” Her fingers knocked themselves around each other. At this moment, Steve was seeing the woman, and not the crime syndicate boss. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry.” He said softly, not really knowing what else to say, he left to process what he’d been told.

A week later he came back. “I want all the information on Brock, Y/n, I want to help you finish this.”

_______

Y/n learned as much as she could about this new chest piece Brock had added to the puzzle, he had insane abilities that matched nothing anyone she had, Y/n wasn’t ever going to send her men, nor Natasha into an unfair fight. So she  decided that tonight, she would end this war that had taken her babies father away, and a good portion of her time away from them as well. They were young, so Y/n knew if she died now, when they were older hopefully they’d forget. As she busted her way through the doors of the warehouse, allowing only the moon’s light into the dark building she could barely see anything. She had her gun ready to go off as soon as she saw anyone. “You came alone.” Brock's voice echoed. 

“I’ve seen what your guy can do. I wasn't going to risk any of my men.” Her voice was cold looking for where the man could be.

Brock’s laugh echoed through the building. “I’m the one who sent Romanoff the tip, I let him be seen by her, Y/n, I’m the one who gave you those videos. I wanted you here.” Brock’s voice turned dark. “I wanted you to see him, come out.” The tall brooding man stepped out of a shadowed corner, moving forward in the darkness, Y/n was only able to see the outline of his foreboding frame, when her arm came into contact with cool metal, the shiver it sent down her spine was one of memories, of being on the sandy beach of the Island in Romania and Bucky’s prosthetic running down her bikini clad back, or when it was nice and cozy that one whiter night and Bucky’s hand reached to pull her impossibly closer. 

By the time her brain caught up with her body she was thrown on the dirt looking up into a cold blue eye that held the moon's rays in them. “Bu-Bucky.” It came out in almost a sob of fear, relief, and sadness. In his eyes however all they held was nothing, maybe confusion, but mostly nothing. “This isn’t you.” 

Four Years Ago

It happened so fast Bucky hadn’t been thinking, as Brock lifted his gun at Y/n, Bucky swiftly moved so that she wouldn’t have gotten hit, as the gun went off once then twice, and the brutalizing pain that went through Bucky’s stomach and chest was worse than when getting his arm amputated, then again that had been done when he was partially in a coma and by professionals, but as he saw Y/n’s wide eyes he realized that for her and for his unborn baby he’d do it again for either one. “Get out! Leave Y/n!” She began running on instinct. 

“Grab him!” Brock’s voice of frustration was the last thing he heard.  Before waking up to himself being operated on by Brock's guys getting the bullets out, he tried to fight them off but quickly found his arm was strapped down and his prosthetic missing. 

“Don’t worry Barnes, you’re gonna be very useful in the downfall of your wife.” Brock Spoke from somewhere out of Bucky’s view. “Give it to him.” 

A blue liquid began to be put through two IV’s and Bucky felt everything in him burn.

_______

“That isn’t going to work Carter, he doesn't know you anymore, we put his mind into a blender.” Brock spoke passively, fueling Y/n’s anger. She only needed to get him, she didn’t want to hurt Bucky, if it wasn’t necessary.

She looked around for an out, so instead She let a low pitched whistle through her lips, making Brock arch a brow, The door’s she had just burst through, came in Steve and a squad of feds. “So you work with cops now?” He recoils into the shadows for his escape. “Ascetic, atack.” And as if a wire was plugged into a TV Bucky’s eyes seemed to darken, as he began to stock towards Y/n.

Steve ran to follow Brock, before he could witness what was about to happen, and all of the feds followed him choosing this time to rade the building, all while she was there facing him alone, he quickly got a hold of her forcing her to the ground, she swiftly jabbed his side. “Bucky, stop this, you need to come home, we have two beautiful babies waiting for us at home, Autumn and Aiden, and they would love to meet you.” She spoke softly, leading him outside as she moved backwards towards the doors. 

“Stop acting like you know me.” His voice held virtually nothing in it.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.” She shook her head. “So you can kill me now, and leave Our kids orphans, or you can return with me.” He faltered taking a step back when Y/n offered to immediately be killed, it was shocking, but he felt a twinge of something when she mentioned the kid’s being orphans, why did he care? He thought.  She could see it in his eyes. “Death and I have shaken hands a few times, I’m not scared, and I’ve made my peace, so if you're going to kill me get it over with.” 

He knew he couldn’t he knew what this would result in when he’d go back, they’d beat him for not completing this, this is what he was made for this is what they told him that he would have to do no matter what, and sure he could and had killed people before but this was different. “You don’t have to go back with him either, you can come with me.” She spoke softly, as the moon shone down on them and made her eyes sparkle, he just shook his head before bolting away into the night. Y/n on fast feet, chased him, she wasn’t about to let him go again, but she only got so far until she felt as if her lungs were going to give up and her legs felt as if any more movement would cause her to collapse, the red, blue, and white, of a cop car was flashing nearby, she fell to her knees, as Steve came and found her his hand went to her shoulder. “We’ve got Brock.” He spoke looking for any sign of Bucky in the shadows, but there would be none, he was so fast he had to be at least a mile away by now. 

She nodded, getting up and composing herself, before getting into Steve's car. He turned to her with a look of concern as he drove. “What is it Steve?” She huffed.

“Are you alright, when you chased Bucky, Y/n you both ran ten miles in thirty minutes.” Steve told her, making her brows furrow, it hadn't felt that far or short for the distance, but her vision had gone into tunnel as she followed Bucky back there. 

She just brushed it off, shrugging, but her thoughts began to stir thinking of Bucky’s strength at the where house, when he tried to force her to the ground there was no possible way to fight back, and his speed he was a decent amount a head of her though still in view, she had no clue what Brock had done to him and she didn’t know if she wanted to. 

[my-soupy-brain]

Been Better

I am feeling under the weather so I'm writing a little drabble for myself. If anyone else is also not feeling great (physically, mentally) I hope this gives you a little comfort.

---

Relationship: Ted Lasso x reader

Warnings: Illness, flirting, mostly comfort

---

Ted could hear you retching as soon as he walked in the door.

"Hon?"

When he saw you on the bathroom floor, your face sweaty and pale against your arm as you leaned against the porcelain, his heart broke into a million pieces.

"Honeybunch! What happened?"

Your pale lips could barely muster a word.

"I dunno, sick," is all you squeak out. Ted got down on the floor with you, pushing your sweaty hair back, trying to catch your eyes.

"What can I do, sweetheart?" he asks quietly.

Before you could answer, your body heaved and you dipped your head just in time. Ted, bless his heart, held your hair back.

"Oh, darlin'..." he murmurs, rubbing your back. "It's OK, I've gotcha."

You sat back again, trying to gather yourself.

"Wa...wa..." you started to ask and Ted nodded quickly. "Water?' You nodded back.

He was at your side in what felt like seconds, a glass of ice water in hand, and a cold rag. He gave you the water and dabbed your face and it was the most refreshing minute of the last few hours.

"You wanna get into bed? Or want me to bring you a pillow?" Ted asks gently, trying to find a way to accommodate you.

When you nodded weakly he wasted no time picking you up and carrying you to bed.

Once you were down, you breathed out a sigh of relief. The cool sheets felt good against your feverish body. He brought your water, he got your book from the living room, turned upside down on the page you were on before the stomach bug struck, and sat it on your nightstand.

Without wasting a beat, Ted was stripped down to his undershirt and boxer briefs, climbing into bed with you.

"You'll get sick, babe," you murmur into the pillow, unable to turn your head. He scooted next to you and brought his big hand over your arm to caress your shoulder and back.

"Hush your butt," he answers. "I'm takin' care of my girl."

His phone rang then and he let it go to voicemail. Once he saw the transcript of the message, he fired off a text.

"I'm stayin' home with ya until you work this thing out. And if you need to go to the doctor, ya ain't goin' alone."

You smiled weakly at that. He always managed to put other people first, especially you. With a little energy you turned over and looked into his eyes.

"My, my, look at those beautiful eyes," he cooed, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"I must look a fright," you mumble, rubbing your eyes.

"Nonsense," Ted says. "You're as beautiful as the day I metcha. Now, why don't you get some rest."

You nod and your eyes flutter closed, and then stay closed. The exhaustion of illness has taken the last of your energy. Ted kisses your sweaty forehead and falls asleep with you.

...

A few hours later you wake, feeling slightly better but still weak. You're sweaty again, almost worse than before. Ted stirs when you do and he smiles.

"Your color's comin' back there, sweetcheeks," he says, his long fingers tickling the apples of your cheeks.

"I'm so sweaty," you murmur drearily, and he smiles.

"Shower?"

You nod and Ted helps you out of bed, leading you into the bathroom and helping you take off your clothes.

In most situations, you'd gladly jump in the shower and let adult activities transpire as they often do together, but right now you're just weak and and want to be clean.

With a gentle touch and caresses, Ted washes you in the shower, holding you up so you have somewhere strong to lean. He adjusts the temperature to your liking, washing your hair and combing out the tangles.

He helps you out of the shower, wrapping you in a towel, brushing your hair, and leading you back into the bedroom.

"You hungry yet, sugar? I can make ya some dry toast and get you a cup of juice if that's all you can muster," Ted offers.

"That sounds nice. Thank you, sweetheart."

He kisses your cheek before disappearing in the kitchen.

"Anything for you, darlin'."

---

That was just for me because I'd given anything to have someone to take care of me when I feel this shitty. I wish you were mine, Ted.

[forever-fan]

My FNAF Hyperfixation has inspired me!

So I've been reading a bunch of FNAF time travel fix-it fics. If you don't know what I am referring to, they are basically fics where Michael/William/Henry/basically anyone else finds themselves in the past by some circumstance. They then try to fix the future.

Now that you know what I'm talking about I can actually get to the point. I have decided to write a FNAF time travel fix-it fic. It is tied to an AU, so don't come at me about "canon". Here is a sneak peek at it.

-

Michael wished he died in the fire. Well, technically he was already dead. He had no pulse and he couldn't breathe. His brain had long since stopped working and he got his energy from Remnant rather than digesting food. In all reality, he was a stubborn spirit trapped within his own corpse.

Michael hadn't died in the fire that Henry had set. Hell, his body was barely harmed. All he remembered was passing out before waking up in a random alley. Michael realized someone saved him, but now he was even more alone than ever before.

When the Mega Pizzaplex opened on top of Michael's old restaurant, he knew there would be trouble. Sure enough, there was. Michael took a job as a security guard and found that, while they weren't murderous, the animatronics weren't quite right.

Michael also found his fellow guard, Vanessa, to be a little shifty. She turned out to be way more than shifty when she pushed him into the daycare ball pit from a height that would have maimed or killed anyone else.

Michael's afterlife only got worse when he emerged from the ball pit and found that he was back in Fredbear's Family Diner in 1980.

-

This short introduction obviously doesn't tell you all the fun little headcanons that I have for this fic. I guess you'll just have to read it to find out. Of course, I haven't written in yet. But! I am so hyped about the movie that I think I'll probably finish the first chapter before twenty-four hours have passed.

[Edit: My entire document on Microsoft Word deleted itself from reality... RIP. So... I'm rewriting the first chapter all over again. :> And trust me, I looked through all of my files and drives. Let it be known, I have turned on auto-save cause it sucks to rewrite dialogue, and know for a fact that it's not the same as it was. Also, I lost a doc with half of my headcanons for a different fnaf au. Sadness.]

Real quick, I do have only a little bit of important information for anyone who wants to understand the timeline. (Also so I can remember the basic timeline I made for myself.)

Original Timeline

1968 - Michael is born.

1973 - Elizabeth is born.

1974 - Charlie Emily is born.

1975 - Evan is born.

1980 - William discovers something called Remnant.

1981 - The Missing Children Incident happens and Fredbear's barely stays open.

1982 - William begins to create the Funtimes to harvest Remnant.

1983, March - Elizabeth dies at her friend's birthday party, three days after Circus Baby's Pizza World opened.

1983, August - Evan dies a week after the bite of '83. (FNAF 4)

1983, August - Mrs. Afton [Yet to be named] dies after driving her car off a cliff.

1983, October - Charlie is murdered by William at her own birthday party.

1986 - Michael goes to college to get away from the tragedy and gets a little therapy.

1990, April - Michael receives a letter from his father asking him to find Elizabeth.

1990, June - Michael dies in the Sister Location. (FNAF 5)

1991, January - Michael assumes the name 'Fritz Smith' and works at Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria before being fired on his first day. (FNAF 2)

1993 - Michael uses the name 'Mike Schmidt' and works at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. (FNAF 1)

1993 - William dies in the Spring Bonnie suit

2000 - Michael works at Fazbear's Fright. (FNAF 3)

2010, Late December - Michael opens Freddy Fazbear Pizza Place. (FNAF 6, Pizzeria Simulator)

2010, Early January - Henry sets the fire, and Michael survives. (Still FNAF 6, Pizzeria Simulator)

2020, July - Michael works at the Mega Pizzaplex and is pushed into the ball pit only six days before the events of Security Breach.

Time Travel Timeline

[To be edited as chapters are added. Peek under the cut only if you have read the most recent chapter, or if you don't give a shit about spoilers.]

1980 - Michael arrives in the past. He is not happy.

[marsgalaxias]

if you like friends to lovers yearning here's a little writing piece I did

'I frequently have such vivid, realistic dreams where my brain throws together what I call a perfect little mind salad. The perfect person. Someone caring, gentle, funny, soft, sweet. When I wake up, there’s this terrible, terrible feeling in my chest. That perfect person is torn from me, and I’m left with the bitter reality that no, no one has loved me like that. I spend all day reflecting and mourning that dream, that person. What hurts the most is the fact that I cannot see their face after I wake up, I can barely recall it once I stir. And so I mourned for someone I never knew, who never lived.

Last night felt like one of those dreams. So perfect that I was scared that as soon as I left the moment, I would never return. I’d wake up in my bed and realize that no, they did not exist, and I was truly losing my mind. But I woke up today and I went to school, and there they were, in the flesh. For once there was no need for a funeral.

I don’t typically connect well with people. I’m able to get an instant sense when I’ve run into someone who I know I will get along with. It was like that with them, that intuitive feeling that this stranger who I tracked down on the internet would be important. I just wanted to acquaint myself with people who would be in my class, and they happened to be one of the first I stumbled upon.

Even more rarely do I feel that I am completely alone with someone. Very rarely do I block out everything else but the person I’m with. But with them, that’s exactly what happened. Nothing existed outside of the now, in those moments. I can still recall the fine details, the way their messy hair flipped about in the wind, the green boxed flannel they wore, the rings on their hands as they gripped the steering wheel, the soup they ordered from panera, what songs they softly played in the background.

I will be honest, I was not picturing a small bridge when I imagined what we would get up to that day, rather a dock. However, that's still eerily similar. How it lined up so perfectly. I shot a few polaroids, and then I sat back and we chatted. But there was still so much distance between us. I hate it, the way I’m so eager for their presence. So I laid down, knowing it was only natural for them to follow. Slowly, as the sun sank further, we grew closer. I have never had the chance to meet someone so genuine, honest, open. From a foot apart, to shoulder to shoulder, my legs eventually bent up and resting against theirs, absentmindedly fiddling with their hands while they felt mine. By the time we had to leave, I found our faces only inches apart. And they curved a hand around my cheek, holding me like I was paper, like I was too delicate to truly grasp, lest they harm me, but they had to keep me from blowing into the breeze.

It was too early for a kiss, and I think we both knew that, but I think we both dearly craved for our flesh to connect. Their thumb brushed my lips, the closest they could get to them now. When we finally pried ourselves from the wooden boards, I clung to them. They clung to me. I was so scared to let go, to let this energy go. I was scared to wake up.

I’ve rewound the film in my head, over and over. I played it while I muttered my choir lyrics, while my English teacher droned on, while my friend babbled about some dumb assignment. I’ve found myself reaching my hand up to my face, to re-feel what they felt, because I am too scared to love them like that openly. I wish I wasn’t, but I’m so scared. Scared that I’m wrong, that they don't actually care that much, that I’m being tugged along by someone who will discard me in the end, because words seem to mean shit to anyone else. Time after time of being left by people who I would have died for, I’m so scared to go through that all again. To plan more funerals.

I’m so deep into this already. I’ve lost my appetite. I’ve lost sleep. I’ve lost focus. I have been infatuated with people before, but it’s never been this bad. I wonder how they would feel, knowing all that I’m going through because on that bridge I refused to sit how friends sit.

“And I know you’re scared, well I’m scared too, but everytime I try to make lunch for someone else, in my head I end up dreaming of you. And you come to me, good morning,” you sang as I weaved my hand through the wind out the window. You’d sworn that the chorus was good, to be patient, and apologized if it was a song I disliked. Now I sit here and I play it on loop, because as I write, the film is becoming blurry. I’m scared I’m waking up like I thought I would. And you’re off playing with your friends, and I know I shouldn’t panic, I know I shouldn’t rotate around you, but I can’t keep my mind off of it. I’m so scared that if I don’t keep watching the film, I’ll lose it. And so I’m still watching. I’m still watching us tip toe around the topic we both are internally begging to discuss. I’m watching us silently explore how the other person makes us feel. I’m watching someone touch me with one of the purest forms of love I think I have ever experienced. I’m watching a dream.

But it’s not, and I know that, but it may as well be. We’ll never discuss it, especially not at school. This tightrope we’re walking is very, very fine. I tremble with each step, and you hold me as if to promise I won’t fall, but we don’t say a word to each other.

“I get lost, I freak out, you come home and hold me tight as if it never happened at all.”

Can you sense my desperation? My fear?

“Show me the place where he inserted the blade.”

Perhaps that’s a story for another star gazing session.

“Good morning.”

Good morning. Am I still dreaming?'

(the song referenced is The Place Where He Inserted The Blade by Black Country, New Roads)

[lizzielikeborden]

no dying

1.1k words

“There is no way you’re gonna get anyone to join Reggie’s cause. I think it’s sweet you guys made up, but I don’t think that the others are gonna see him that way.” You walked with Klaus down the hallway trying to get him to understand that not everyone was going to be willing to accept the idea that this timelines Reginald was a totally different guy then the one that abused them as children. 

“But Y/n he’s changed! He’s also got a plan to save us all.” He walked ahead of you and then stopped moving completely putting his hands on your forearms. 

“I would love to believe that, I really would, and I understand that it’s easy for you to think that he’s changed because you see how different Ben is. You remember him best, you had him longer than any of us,” you returned Klaus’s gesture and put your hands on his forearms as well, “I know you miss him, but that doesn’t mean Reginald is any different. If he took someone as good as Ben and turned him into whatever the hell that is, how good can he really be?” You felt bad for bringing up his Ben, you knew how bad that got to him, but you couldn’t let him blindly trust Reginald, not this time. 

“He gave me ice cream, he wants to help me learn how to actually do something with myself.” Klaus was talking quietly, almost like he was just now hearing the words that were coming out of his mouth. He was hurt, torn, tired, and unsure. 

“He gave you issues, he knows that, and he sees them,” taking one of your hands off his arm you touched his cheek, rubbing the other up and down his arm, “I am not saying that you are by any means easy to pick on, he just knows how to make people, especially his kids, feel small and then use that to make them fuck up.” 

“Five isn’t helping, no one else is, and dad’s the only one who’s doing anything. I wanna learn how to use this,” he flashed his hands at you, taking them off of you for just a moment, “It’s the only chance we’ve got to live.” 

“Klaus, are you scared you can’t die? That you can’t control how long you’re dead or how you come back to life? That you’ll be alone?” His head was bowed, he wasn’t speaking anymore, just taking in breaths getting ready to say words each time. 

“That’s just a bullshit question, I wouldn’t let you die.” Suddenly Klaus was back, hyper, overactive, and acting like the conversation you had just started was over. He wasn’t ready to really answer those questions or even begin to have that conversation. Everything was already confusing to him, this whole situation had him messed up in many ways for many reasons. It wasn’t that he didn’t wanna break down in front of you, this just was not the time. 

“But this is out of your control, you can’t stop the apocalypse.” You giggled and played along with what he was doing, holding each other's hands and swaying around while you talked. His eyes were bright like they were most of the time, for someone who was considered lazy he was certainly full of energy right now. 

“Right, but I could march,” He started doing all the things he was saying, keeping his hands in yours, “right down to hell and drag you back up here to live in apocalypse land with me.” It was almost like a dance the way he marched in place and then took both your hands pulling you forward like a dragging motion. 

“What if I was fully at peace and didn’t wanna come back?” Klaus immediately looked offended as he took one of his hands off of you and put it onto his chest. But kept one intertwined with yours, he knew he had to keep this conversation running as long as he could so that you wouldn’t go back to the other one. 

“If you didn’t wanna come back to be with muah?” Pulling his hand off his chest you just kept laughing and messing with his hands as the two of you talked in the hallway barely moving. 

“Yes, if I decided that I was happy, content, and ready to stay in the afterlife.” You were just messing with each other's hands now he was pulling you close against his chest. 

“I don’t care what you want, you think I am gonna live without you,” he bopped the tip of your nose before continuing his speech, “who’s gonna wake me up in the morning? Who’s gonna baby me when I make bad choices? But most importantly, who is gonna get drunk and dance around with me?” Spinning you around in a small circle he smiled at you the moment he saw your face again. 

“Awe, honey, you’re gonna have to make some new friends.” You thought about him for just a minute, what would he do without you? What would he do without his siblings? Without people to care about him, look after him, and be there for him he needed people to just exist around or possibly annoy? That had happened before and he turned to drugs and alcohol to make his way, but even then he had Ben in his ear. He had never been truly all alone before, even though he had certainly felt like it. You played the words he had previously spoken in your head and then realized something he had said, “Wait, why would you be pulling me up from hell? Why am I in hell?” 

“Is that really a question?” Klaus seemed surprised that you questioned him at all. 

“Yes!” You giggled and let him put his hands on your waist, placing your hands on his face waiting for his answer. 

“Have you met yourself? You act and fight like my siblings which makes you evil, and anyone who acts like they’re a part of this family heaven is not gonna just let in. The gates are not gonna open for any of us and that’s okay!” He was really trying to be reassuring and kind about what he had said since he hadn’t meant it with any malice. 

“I’ll take that any day.” You hugged him around his neck encouraging him to hug you. Maybe he didn’t wanna talk about all of that with you just yet, and maybe he never would. Maybe he was right and all of this would fix itself somehow. Maybe you didn’t wanna live in the afterlife if it meant that you had to be without him. You couldn’t trust him to be alone, to survive without you to help him and take care of him. Either way he would follow you around, no, you’d follow each other. No matter what…

[stayandot8]

Track Two: Airplane

Genre: Fluff

Relationship type: established boyfriend/girlfriend, early stages

Important Contents: Third in the Playlist series. If you read, thank you. Let me know what you think. <3

WC: 2.8k

Next part I Last part I masterlist I Add-on

2. Airplane

Eating takeout in his room was always my favorite date with Chan. Today was no different. This time he was splitting his energy between eating with me and packing for his performance in some exciting city and leaving me again. He said I could stay at his place while he’s away only after I admitted how much I missed him. I had yet to take him up on his offer but this time I was seriously considering it. I had been staying here for the past couple weeks anyways so what was a couple more days alone?

“You have to bring me back something this time. I still don’t believe you actually forgot when you were in Japan.” I heard him laugh with me this time.

“I told you I was sorry,” he said with a smile as he grabbed my box and put it on the nightstand. He laid down to wrap his arms around me, his bare chest warm through the shirt of his I was wearing.  “We just got so busy and we were so tired and they wouldn’t let me out of the hotel. I was stuck in hotel jail. They said it was too dangerous.” The force of him hugging me forced me to lay fat, him on top of me and laying his head on my chest. This was his preferred way of hanging out, according to Chan. Running my hands through his hair, I kissed the top of his head gently. He had been working so much lately, he said I was like his place of solace where he didn’t have to talk about work or anything to do with it. He could relax and just be Chan with no expectations. 

“I know, I’m just messing with you. You know you don’t have to bring me anything but yourself. I just need you back in one piece. That’s all I’ll ever need.” I said, whispering the last few words into his hair and just breathing in the scent of him. He always smelled like home.

A few minutes passed as we just laid there like that. I thought he had fallen asleep on me again until his head moved to look at me. 

“I have to pack.”

“I know.”

He made no move to get off me so I let him stay there, just rubbing his back up to his hair and down again. He laid his head back on my chest. 

“You could come with me, you know,” I heard in a muffled voice. 

My hand paused its movement, stunned for a moment. This was the first time he had even mentioned it as a possibility. 

“There’s no way they would let me come with you officially.” Especially since we weren’t out in the public either. My hand resumed its path. 

He looked back up to my eyes, his eyes determined. “I could talk to them. At least see what they say.”

“And how would the others feel about it? The other members might have something to say about someone else joining their field trip.” I’d become close with the other members but I was still unsure. 

“They won’t care. It actually might be preferable. They won’t have to room with me this time. I would get a room to myself. Well, we would get a room to ourselves. I would much rather share a room with you than Lee Know.” His usual playfulness had come back to his eyes at that as he snickers to himself. I rolled my eyes and smiled at him. 

“I’ll tell you what. If it will be no trouble for anyone and the other members don’t mind, then I’ll go. But you have to ask each of them and they have to be honest. I don’t want to be in anyone’s way.” I grimace at him. He considers my words and jumps up from the bed. He puts his shirt back on and leaves the room. I stare after him, wondering what he could be doing before it hits me. He’s going to ask them now. I needed to do something other than sit with my nerves so I crossed his room to his closet to resume his packing for him. 

Ten minutes later, his suitcase was half packed with all black clothes when I heard shuffling in the hallway. Chan came back with a big smile on his face. 

“What did you do? I don’t like that mischievous smile on your face.” I narrow my brows at him, confused as to why he’s smiling in that way. He said nothing as he peeked in his suitcase, nodded his head in approval of what I’ve packed, and continued where I had left off as he opened his pants drawer. I spun around to him, still confused. “Chan what did you do?” 

He still said nothing but that grin never left his face. 

“Christopher!”

He laughed loudly at that. “Just give it a minute. Patience.”

At that moment, my phone buzzed. And then buzzed again. And again. And again. I walked back over to the bed where it was sitting and opened it to a stream of texts from each member. 

Felix: I hope you’re prepared for what you’ve just gotten yourself into. ;) This is going to be so much fun!

I opened the next one. 

Changbin: Now you can cook me breakfast while we’re away too!!

I laughed out loud with that and opened the others.

Seungmin: Why would you sign up for this?! At least I’ll have someone else to laugh at them with.

Hyunjin: Will you braid my hair this time? You promised :( 

Lee Know: You’re doing this by choice?

I.N.: Welcome to the crazy train :)

Han: YYEEEEEESSSSSSSS!! :D

I picked up my head to glare at Chan, but he had disappeared again. I threw up my hands in exasperation as Chan came back into the room with another suitcase. 

“And what is that for?” I asked as I tilted my head in question.

“It’s for you!” Chan had that big smile again. “Now you can start packing too!” 

I just stood there, looking at him in bewilderment. I gave up with a small sigh as the smile began creeping onto my face and I took the suitcase from him.

 “The clothes I would take are at my house. I’ll be back in an hour, okay?” I said laughing to myself. I kissed him and left, not knowing what I had just gotten myself into. 

***

Packing was the easy part and before I knew it, a black car was outside my apartment with my boyfriend, Felix, and their luggage tucked inside. I followed closely behind Felix so I wouldn’t get lost going through the airport, my grip on his sweater causing permanent wrinkles in it. I promised him I would pay to get a new one, but he brushed me off saying he used to be the same way with Changbin. Passing through the airport was easy enough with the other members in front with me and Chan bringing up the rear. He always had to keep everyone in his front view so he could keep his eyes out. He was like that whenever we were alone in public too. 

Once we were clear to relax until our plane arrived to take us to our destination, Felix invited me to hang out while Chan got dragged away to attend to some business with his manager and left me to fend for myself. 

“Come one. It’ll be fun, I promise.” I couldn’t resist his grin as he led me to the lounge set aside specifically for them. He opened the door to the rest of the members with drinks already in hand. The older members had umbrellas in their cups while Jeongin and Seungmin seemed content with glasses of water and baked goods on the tables in front of them. They all looked up when Felix opened the door and I had never heard such a small room explode with noise so quickly. Shouts all competing for my attention as Han, Changbin, and Hyunjin rose from their seats, trying to drag me to the empty seats beside them.

“Come sit by me so we can discuss what you should wear in the city.” Hyunjiin forcefully dragged me to the seat next to him before I could object. I turned and pouted in the others direction, shrugging my shoulders in surrender in a ‘what can I do?’ gesture, and took my place in between Hyunjin and Felix. After I dropped my bag onto the floor in front of me, Hyunjin moved it aside and sat on the floor at my feet, back to me so he could look upside down at me with his head in my lap. I smiled down at him and raised my eyebrow.

“Can I help you?”  I asked, amusement written in my smile down at him. He closed his eyes and smiled back at me and pouted as he asked me to braid his hair like I promised. I sighed and closed my eyes, feigning exasperation. “If you can find me a hairbrush, a small hair band or two, and a drink then yes.” Hyunjin scrambled to his bag next to the chair beside me and grabs just that. He tapped Felix on the thigh and motioned for him to take his headphones off. 

“Felix, can you grab a drink for our friend here while she braids my hair?” Hyunjin fluttered his lashes at the boy, making Felix let out a small huff while he smiled at me. 

“What can I get you, darling?” He stood from his seat, placing his headphones on the chair behind him while I told him. He nodded and walked to the bar across the room. I nudged Hyunjin with my foot in his side until he yelped. 

“I said YOU get me a drink. Why would make him do that?” I shook my head at him, feeling mildly guilty. 

“But I’m already comfortable here.” He said as he laid his head back in my lap to grin at me again. I swatted at his cheek and motioned for him to hand me the brush he brought over. 

“Do you want one braid or two small ones?” I asked as I ruffled his hair out to brush back, taking my opportunity to comb through his locks with my hands first. I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about doing it before now so I was not going to waste it. 

He lifted two fingers in the air and I saw his eyes close as I started brushing, humming softly to himself. He had told me before that he liked having his hair brushed by someone else like this, with no stage to get to or performance to shoot. Hyunjin liked to take his time when he could and I was happy to be able to provide this for my friend. Just this once, of course. 

Just as I had started to gather his hair in my fingers to start braiding, Felix came back with my drink in his hands and sat it down on the table in between us. I smiled my thanks and nudged my foot into Hyunjin’s side again. He giggled and shied away from it while staying in place as best he could. 

My drink gone and Hyunjin’s hair done, he stood up and pranced around the room asking each of the members how he looked. Each one looked at me to compliment how it looked, saying it had everything to do with my handiwork and nothing to do with Hyunjin. They always knew how to make me laugh. 

“I want mine done now!” Felix exclaimed as he took Hyunjin’s place in the front of my seat. “Hyunjin, get me some hair ties from your bag.” As Hyunjin did just that, Chan opened the door and immediately caught my eyes. He made his way over to collapse into Felix’s seat, letting out a long sigh.

“Everything okay?” I gave him a quizzical look, searching his face for any signs of stress. At least, more than usual. He nodded.

“Just missed you, that’s all.” He rolled his neck and his gaze landed on me as he gave me a soft smile. I rolled my eyes and returned to the blonde head in front of me, chuckling to myself. I felt his hand start a trail up and down my back. “Whatcha doing?” 

“Making his hair look like Hyunjin’s.” Hyunjin, who had returned to his seat with a new drink in hand, was drawing on his tablet, too engulfed in his new drawing to hear anything else. Chan gave him a slight push in the arm, breaking him from his stupor and giving his leader a questioning look. 

“Did you say thank you to your hairdresser?” Chan was always quick to remind the boys to use their manners around me. Not that I minded of course. 

Hyunjin was quick to lay his head on my shoulder and say quietly into my ear an elongated ‘thank you’. I lowered my head to rest in his for a second as I mentioned that it was no problem and he went right back to his drawing. These boys never fail to make me laugh. Chan’s hand returned to his path on my back as I got to work on Felix’s hair.

By the time the plane had come to take our pack to our destination, half the boys had some sort of braid in their hair. They each had their own forms of bribery, not that they needed it. I was happy to do it. They had grown to be like little brothers to me, closer than my own family. Chan couldn’t help but express his gratitude about it once we were seated on the plane. I could tell Chan knew I was nervous to fly with them this time by the way he was stroking my hand with his thumb. I was surprised my grip wasn’t crushing him. 

“I guess they really do like me. It’s actually a relief.” I was trying to change the subject to distract myself from the roiling in my gut. As excited as I was to go somewhere exciting with Chan and his members, I couldn’t help the nervous feeling that something would happen while we were away. And for some reason, I had chosen this subject.

Chan turned his head sharply to look at me, confusion written on his face. “Why wouldn’t they?”

“I don’t know, really. I guess I was just afraid that they would just ignore me if I was around or act like they were just being polite because I was here or something.”

“Why would you think that?” Chan’s grip on my hand tightened as he brought my knuckles to his lips. 

“I couldn’t tell you. But I’m glad they seem comfortable around me.”

“That’s because I never stop talking about you so they feel like they know you already. Sometimes they beg me to talk about something else because I can’t stop talking or thinking about you.” He’s doing a good job of distracting me, that’s for sure. I could feel the blush growing on my cheeks the more he stared at me. My heart was still racing but definitely for a different reason than it was an hour ago. 

“You always know what to say to get me blushing don’t you.”

“I can tell when you feel anxious because your face becomes very stoic. You’re usually so expressive so I can see it. You know you can always come to me when you feel those things, right? I want you to know that you can always find me.” I nodded. 

“Do you want to pick up the podcast we were listening to earlier? I’ve got my headphones ready for us both to listen.” I had gotten Chan into crime podcasts early in our relationship and we had grown accustomed to listening to the same ones while cooking together or simply lounging around in the apartment. 

I nodded, grateful for something to focus on while waiting for the plane to take off. He released my hand to shuffle around in his bag for something. I glanced out the window to look at the runway we were rounding, waiting our turn to enter the skies. I felt an arm on my thigh and I looked back to see this beautiful man handing me a bag of gummy bears. 

“For the nerves.” How he knew that they were my favorite candy I still couldn’t tell you but that was the final straw before I finally admitted to myself that I was falling head over heels in love with Bangchan. 

[mantleoflight]

Dragon in the Rafters

Echo sat in the Helm's rafters, quivering and hoping not to be seen. She was transparent now, a rare use of void light to keep her hidden from the people below. What had happened? How had she ended up like this??? All she'd done was what she always did when she wanted to burn off energy and started pacing with thoughts and ideas of 'what if?' but when that thought became an action and then a form, panic set in and sent her into the rafters.

"So quick to wish," cooed a familiar, creaking voice. "so quick to fear... are you so flighty as to turn away from your own desires, oh hatchling mine?"

Echo lifted her head. She didn't answer, but she felt her heart sink into her gut. She didn't remember wishing, she didn't remember asking for anything like this. But somehow, she'd made the mistake of making a wish that Riven could hear. Was it when she was helping gather the wish dragon's eggs?

She had to admit... she had had conversations with Riven about the nature of wish dragons, but being careful never to make wishes around her or even bring it up. No, everything was always in relation to what would be done for Riven's eggs, and how she could prepare for them, to defend as well as care for them.

The dragon seemed intrigued by her earnestness though something in their conversations always carried an undertow of danger. But she never said anything that could lead to this.

She remembered her breakdown with Mist over feeling small and alone in the galaxy fighting against the Witness. How even with the Light, she still felt like she couldn't match up to what everyone needed... and if a guardian couldn't measure up, what good were they? Even worse, when a guardian couldn't measure up, when they just couldn't fight anymore who was there to back them up?

Caiatl, Misraaks, Devrim, and others were all there, all warriors and citizens now in their own right... but what were they to the magnificent power of the Black Fleet...? Against the devastating power of the Witness? 'We need help...' she'd told Mist. 'I just wish I could do more...'

Another conversation came to mind, one she'd had near the aquarium on the other side of the Helm... She'd been writing, scribbling all she could on what she could do to help the cause, to help the cause at scale, when Drifter came over with an ether spritz and a statement of "Sister, I gotta say, if I worked as hard as you, I would've worked myself inta the ground by now. Here, have a drink. Better cool down those servos before they melt. Don't want your ghost to have to rezz you from that."

Echo had accepted the drink, rationalizing that it was just a spritzer and she could hold at least that much.

Unfortunately, it apparently only took one or two of the spritzers before Echo had her head on her forearm, barely able to hold it up. She mumbled something into the crook of her elbow, something she'd wanted to say but couldn't even remember it as she said it.

She'd heard Drifter say something. He sounded weird in with the spritzer buzzing in her ears but before her positronic brain could decipher what he said, the guardian slumped over and conked out.

The fish were swimming idly when she woke up, her head cushioned with her own cloak rolled up for her on the seats beside the aquarium. her head ached and whisper hovered over her. Dread filled her as she realized what she'd done to earn this hangover, but instead of a scolding, she felt Whisper scan her and the headache ease.

At Echo's stare, Whisper huffed and rattled her shell. "Look, don't think I like what you did just because I'm doing this. If it were anyone else, I would've bitten your audio fins off and left you to deal with it until you'd learned your lesson again about drinking. But…" the ghost paused and looked at her guardian. "you needed this talk… with Drifter, I mean, and he wasn't going to get anything out of you sober. So for this once, I'm letting it slide."

Echo stared at her incredulously and she rattled her shell again. "Hey! Don't look at me like that! I have a heart too y'know!"

Echo had given a startled chuckle. "Yeah, where Baribus keeps his!" she said with a grin, earning an offended chuff from her ghost. She gave her ghost another grin before heading out walk off her hangover and get some food and fluid in her.

But that was all she remembered.

"Do you wish to remember?" came the cooing voice of the wish dragon.

Echo thought a moment and made a reluctant decision. "I wish I could talk to you without anyone hearing us," she whispered and earned a sinister chuckle.

"Ahhh you're very free with your wishes, how refreshing…"

'What happened? What did you to me?'

"I granted your wish," Riven said simply.

"What wish?" Echo asked, "I don't remember making a wish."

Riven made a noise, and Echo got the impression that she was canting her head, as if egging her on to do something.

Whisper rotated her shell agitatedly. "Echo, I don't know what you're doing but if you're going to wish to know what the hell Riven is talking about, hurry up and do it, and maybe let me in on the conversation too?"

Echo lifted her head and blinked at her ghost, "Oh, sorry," she apologized, but even as she spoke, her voice came out weird, disjointed… not quite solid…

"Oh, my little whim… what a pace you must grow… you who gave up your guardianhood… to become one of mine…"

"I didn't give it up!" Echo hissed at the disembodied voice. "I still feel the light, and I still have Whisper!"

"Oh, but you have… a price is a price… though yours…. has exceptions…"

the pair gazed at each other in dread as they tried to make sense of Riven's words. They heard the dragon's chuckle, deep and warbling in their thoughts.

"But… I am willing to give, as you have been in aiding my eggs… Come… I will guide you, for you…. will be my eldest, my guardian wyrm…"

"Wepl, I don't like the sound of this," Whisper said, shaking her shell.

"Well, it's not like I have a choice," Echo answered, leaning over the rafter grate.

"Oh, you always have a choice," Riven's voice cooed, "you can either learn or die. Wish dragons cannot live in between."

Echo huffed. "Squished, might get squished. Still not much of a choice. But better you than death by Shaxx or Eris."

The hunter balanced precariously on her perch, gazing down at where she wanted to go. But how was she going to do this? how was she going to get by without alamring everyone in the Helm?

She thought about asking Riven for help but she didn't want to get more indebted to the dragon than she already was. What could she do to get by without panicking everyone? She couldn't keep a stable form to save her life! All she wanted was to go down and go back to normal!

"Riven?" she quieried silently. "how do I do the shapeshifting thing?"

"How? Did you not change your shape to what you are? Did you not follow your own whims, oh, hatchling mine?"

Echo blinked and considered the question. She frowned to herself and shifted nervously. She supposed she had, pacing around, thinking about what she could do if she were one species or another. She'd done it when Eris was a hive god, thinking about what it would be like to be one herself. She'd done it while working with Mithrax and Eido, wondering what she'd look like if she were Eliksni… and she'd done it now… moving on impulse to hop to the rafters in her own little idea of a wish dragon.

'Imagination…?' she wondered and recalled theories about dragons shifting to match the desired expectations of the prey they hoped to gain wishes from. Echo hummed to herself and shifted on her perch. Expectation… the others saw a hunter jump up into the rafters… they'd expect one to jump down…

She took a breath and began imagining herself… as herself… She thought of her armor, her cloak, her turquoise plating. She thought of everything, even the mods she'd gotten from an exo modder in the City. She filled herself with what she remembered it being like to be herself and imagined herself, cloak and all, as she hopped down from the rafters.

Boots hit the floor and a swell of relief rolled over her.

"Echo!" Whisper breathed, and pressed against her head in a ghost's form of a hug.

Echo pressed a hand against Whisper's shell, returning the hug. "Ohhh I'm glad that worked," she whispered to her ghost. "Otherwise, that might've ended really badly."

A low, rattling chuckle echoed through the hunter's thoughts, drawing her attention to the nearby chamber where Mara's throne sat. The pair looked at each other, and with the hesitancy of a guardian on a dangerous, unwanted mission, the pair of them made their way to Riven's chamber.

The chuckle echoed louder as Riven lifted her whale-boned head. "Ahhh, so you've come, oh hatchling mine… I knew you'd find your way eventually. Guardians and ahamkara always do…"

"What's your angle here?" Whisper demanded, flying up to snap her shell at Riven. "What did you do to Echo?"

"Nothing that she didn't want done herself," the dragon replied easily. "After all, that's what we ahamkara live for, to grant wishes. And my whims could not wish for a finer elder in their midst…" She looked down at Echo and canted her head almost smuggly. "After all… that's what big sisters do… Isn't that right, oh hatchling mine?"

Oh hatchling mine…

Echo swallowed.

"Ohhhh boy…"

[vergess]

I think you’re right to be upset with the antisemitism present in Letters to Watson, but I think you risk hurting people who are in your corner by framing those who have disagreed with you as violent antisemites. It’s not my place to tell you to calm down and that isn’t my intention, but I think it’s worth reconsidering a call out post, and redirecting your energy into a discussion, if you’re so inclined. I hope you’re doing well.

Oh man, oh man, you would not believe the vigour of my victorious dab as I slammed open the unpublished draft of part 3 that I barely, barely resisted posting because I felt I had adequately made my point, and surely, surely no one could possibly find room to be weird about it as a """"callout"""" and not sheer fucking exhaustion at yet another fucking microaggression.

But alright!!!!!! Let's goooooo!!!! :D

---

I've no qualms whatsoever with the substack operator, btw. They have done a lovely job thus far. The CW list available on the collaborative google doc looks very thorough, far better than anything I could have organized.

I'm not upset with the book club as a whole, I'm not going to quit or anything.

I just don't think many gentiles understand the scale of antisemitism. So many of you, bless your kind intentions, think it's a historical thing. You think that because it's old and gone, you're on our side by simple virtue of history.

It isn't over. These are not old scars lightly touched.

These are bleeding wounds, often torn open that very day, being poked and prodded during what should be our relaxing hobbies.

Think about whatever marginalizations you have, I'm sure you have them.

And then imagine antisemitism as another one, added on top. Another whole stupid bonus layer. Another shit-icing on the shit-cake.

And then think about all the people telling you that you should just be more grateful for the google doc telling you in advance about the shit corn!

Think about all the kind-hearted anons withing you a good day, with a smile and a wave, so sweetly confused that you aren't smiling back.

That you're not grateful for their utterly, spectacularly useless, meaningless, unhelpful advice. The google doc with the whole "hey, there's gonna be some corn in the shit" warning doesn't really make the shit less shitty.

And it certainly doesn't make the entire process more fun or bearable to have a bunch of condescending little fuckers telling you that the goddamn google doc full of corn warnings really should be more than enough I mean what more do you want them to do, listen to you talk about how unpleasant all this shit-corn is? It's a bit gross you know. Kind of impolite really.

Honestly, at this point you're making it more uncomfortable for everyone else. Can't you just, you know. Leave the poor baker alone?

It's so mean.

---

So, anon, I appreciate the advice.

But, with all my fondness and all my kindness, may I in turn offer this advice to you:

If you're one of the people who Did The Thing?

You're not a "violent antisemite" or fucking whatever.

You're a person who made a mistake. You accidentally did an antisemitism. Happens to the best of us. I myself probably do about 3 antisemitisms a day, and I'm Jewish. It's the nature of the world we live in.

The trick is to acknowledge it when you realize you did one, apologize to anyone you hurt, and try your best not to make the same mistake in the future. You will make it again, btw. You're human. And when you make that mistake again, the solution will be to repeat the same steps then.

What it damned well won't be, it to fucking pretend you're incapable of doing any harm, claim that the real victim is the person running the email chain, and then double down on the bugshit insane idea that antisemitism ended 100 years ago.

So try. The fuck. Again.

You goddamn fucking morons.

[sinnershavesoulstoo]

I made this post on fb and I'm going to post the same thing here just because.... there's going to be a reblog and extra stuff added once I'm not in public. That part is going to be whiny.

Today is my half birthday. I'm going to be 30 in six months.

My entire life I have too often based my self worth on how other people view me. Do they think I could be thinner? Do they think I could dress nicer? Do they think I could be friendlier? Do they think I should be doing more? Do they think I'm lovable? Do they think I'm good enough? Because, honestly, I don't know if I've ever thought I was enough. And I always think I could be more and that I could be better. I've been praised in the past for my openness and my honesty, but that almost feels wrong. Because I'm not being open and I'm not being honest. I'm just like everyone else on social media - only willing to show what I want people to know, what I think people want to see. Curating my posts, combing through pictures and text posts to make sure it doesnt sound too much like a cry for help, or that I'm complaining too much, and only trying to be profound and raw when I think that's what people expect. But I'm tired.

I'm tired of feeling like I have to try so hard all the time. I'm tired of getting the most minimal effort in return. I'm tired of people expecting more from me than I want to give. And I'm tired of being the person who just let's all of this happen, who gives from an empty cup, who acts unkind and abrasive to those who don't deserve it all because...I'm tired.

I don't even want that much from anyone. I want respect, I want kindness, I want love. Basic human decency. I don't need people to match my energy, because I know I'm 'a little too much' - but I know I don't want the bare minimum.

I see people that I want to be more like, I'm around some people I want to be more like, I'm trying to be around more people I want to be like - but this is one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do. Growing and changing as a person is always challenging, but trying to do this while also making everyone else's opinions your main priority is even worse. Dealing with stuff that you've pushed down for years is extremely tiring, especially when you feel like you're alone. Emphasis on feel, because I know I'm not entirely alone - but I sure feel like that a lot of the time.

As I'm trying to become a better version of myself for myself, I'm going to have to work through some stuff that I haven't wanted to deal with - and I'm absolutely going to make it as weird as possible. I know this is going to be a lifelong project. I don't expect to be the best version of myself over night - but it sure would be nice.