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wwilsonbarness · 1 year

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I messed up.. (part 2)

pairings: bucky barnes x reader

summary: Bucky tries to apologise for the things he said... do you accept?

warnings: angstttt, some fluff, anxiety?, idkk i think that's all :)

word count: 2535

a/n: I'm so sorry it took so long for part 2. I hated what I first wrote and my week ended up super busy. I'm so scared to post this lmao I hope it doesn't disappoint!

Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)

I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.

part one

masterlist

Sam insisted you took it easy for the rest of the night, he brought you dinner in bed, checked on you every hour, and brought you everything you could need. You appreciated it but at the same time you just wanted to lay in bed alone and cry. For the first few hours it was out of sadness, seeing Bucky that angry with you made your chest ache, the thought of disappointing him was something you couldn’t handle, but as the hours passed the sadness slowly turned into anger. The more you replayed his words in your mind the angrier you got, how could he imply you didn’t care about your baby?

Ever since you were a little girl yourself you had wanted to be a mom, it was your dream and Bucky knew that.You had both spent countless nights talking for hours on end about how excited you were to have a baby together, you thought he was excited too but were you and your baby just a burden to him? A problem he had to sort out? Did he even want this?

Hours had passed and you were starting to drift to sleep when you heard voices outside your bedroom door. Part of you wanted to stay in bed and ignore whoever it was but when you heard Bucky’s voice you jump out of bed.

“I just want to check if she's okay.” You hear Bucky’s voice through the door, slightly louder than he normally speaks, a clear sign he was getting frustrated. You hear a second voice but you can’t figure out who it is until you move closer, it was Sam.

“You… chance..screwed up..” It’s muffled but you can guess what he said. You keep walking closer to the door and go to open it as you hear a third voice.

“Barnes, you need to leave her be, you’ve done enough tonight.” That was definitely Tony, he was the only one to call Bucky by his last name.

You weren’t ready to face Bucky yet but you didn’t want to have to listen to them arguing any longer so you opened the door, to be faced with Bucky standing right in front of you, Tony to the side of him and Sam a few doors down outside his room.

“Can you guys argue somewhere else please?” Bucky’s head flys round at the sound of your voice. He instantly looks you up and down, focusing on your bump for a few seconds longer than anywhere else, which reminds you of how he had looked at you earlier. You bring your hand up to your stomach without realising.

“Doll, are you okay?” You could see the concern in his eyes this time but you couldn’t get past the anger you were feeling.

“I’m fine, Bucky. I just want to sleep so can you three go somewhere else if you’re gonna shout at each other.” Bucky’s face started to lighten up in relief for a second but tensed up again as you continued.

“I’m sorry, can we please talk?” He starts to walk closer to you but you flinch and move backwards into your room. You weren’t scared of him but you couldn’t handle this tonight. Bucky’s face drops as he watches you move away from him. “Doll I just want to-”

“I don’t have the energy tonight Bucky, please can you just leave me alone.” You look at each other for a few seconds before you plead again, “Please.” Bucky slightly nods his head but you don’t wait for any other type of response before you close your door.

You lean your head against the door as it shuts, taking a deep breath in as an attempt to keep yourself calm. You hear Bucky and Tony throw a couple more sentences at each other, resulting in Tony asking F.R.I.D.A.Y to lock your door to anyone but him and Sam. You didn’t want to shut Bucky out but the things he said to you really hurt your feelings and if you were to talk to him about it now you would end up saying things you regret. You just wanted and needed time to yourself to calm down. You climb back into bed and go to sleep to try and forget about the whole situation, it takes a few hours but sleep finally washes over you.

You could only sleep for a few hours before your morning sickness hit. Without Bucky there to help you like every other morning it was a lot harder to deal with. After sitting beside the toilet for a few minutes you manage to run yourself a bath and relax for a bit. You wanted to put off talking with Bucky as long as you could, you knew he’d already be awake as he was every day, probably in the kitchen making breakfast.

You hear a knock at your door as you're in the bath which brings you out of your thoughts about Bucky, but when you reach the door all that’s there is a tray with waffles, fruit and orange juice on it. You pick it up and place it on your desk to find a note, recognising Bucky’s handwriting straight away you pick it up.

I’m sorry for everything I said and did. I want to make it up to you when you are ready to talk. I know you’ve probably been unwell this morning so I hope this makes you feel better. I put some gummy bears on the waffles since I know you’ve been craving sweet things. I love you and baby so much - Buck x

You feel your eyes tear up as you read each word, and even though you’re mad at him all you want in this moment is for Bucky to hold you. You quickly get dressed and start to walk towards the kitchen, hoping he’s still there. To your luck he was still hovering around the cooker cleaning up his mess from cooking breakfast.

“Buck?” His head whips around at lightning speed to the sound of your voice. He takes one step towards you before stopping himself, remembering how you reacted last night. The last thing he wanted to do was scare you more.

“Doll, are you okay?”

“Mhmm, can we talk?” Bucky lets out a huge breath he wasn’t aware he was holding as you speak, he wants nothing more than to talk to you.

“Of course doll, wanna sit over here?” He points his hand towards the couch in the corner of the room. You nod your head and walk over. When you both sit down it’s quiet for a few minutes, both of you equally scared to break the silence until Bucky speaks.

“Are you scared of me?” He asks, tone soft as if he’s scared of what the answer might be.

“No, Bucky I’d never be scared of you.” His shoulders start to relax in relief but not for long as you continue. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not mad at you.”

“I am so so sorry y/n, I promise you I didn’t mean anything I said, I was just scared which I know isn’t an excuse but it’s the truth. My worst fear is losing you, and now with the baby on the way I’m even more scared of losing you both. When I heard Sam telling Tony and Nat that you were seen with a bump it was.. It was like my brain just took over, I kept imagining you being hurt and I just wouldn’t be able to live with myself if that happened. I can’t lose you, either of you. If you let me, I promise I will try my best to make things back the way they were.”

Bucky’s speech took you off guard, you were expecting and hoping to speak first so you could get everything out while you felt able to, you had to try so hard to hold back your tears. You could tell he was sorry and honestly part of you just wanted to say it’s okay, tell him you forgave him, that everything was fine but the other part of you was still focused on his horrible words yesterday, and you knew things would never be okay again unless you told him how he made you feel. “I just need to get this off my chest Bucky, I know you’re sorry but I still need to say this. He nods his head to show he understands you.

You take a deep breath and prepare yourself to speak. “First off, I just want to make it completely clear, that” you bring your hand to your stomach and cup the small bump you have, “I love and care so much for this baby, more than anything or anyone else in the world. So when you said that to me, said that I.. That I didn’t care, it really really hurt me. I know I went against what we agreed, I know I scared you, but that didn’t give you a right to talk to me the way you did.”

“I kno-” Bucky tries to respond but you don’t let him. Your voice is beginning to shake and there are tears starting to fall from your eyes. Bucky’s heart was breaking at seeing you so upset.. all because of him.

“No, please let me finish. I.. I know you care about me and our baby, I know you do but you went way too far. You were so worried about other people hurting me you didn’t realise that you were the one doing it.”

You can hear Bucky swallow deeply as he listens, his eyes growing wetter with every word, it was hard for him to hear but he knew everything you were saying was true. He had done the one thing he swore he never would, he hurt you and he wasn’t sure he’d ever forgive himself for it. “You promised me that you would never hurt me, and I believed you.” Your voice cracks with your last words, and the tears finally escape. “You made me feel like we were burdening you, like we were just a problem to you, something you had to deal with.”

Bucky desperately wants to reach out and comfort you but he stops himself. He keeps his eyes locked with yours and you nod your head a little, a silent way of telling him that it was his turn to talk. He nods back and readies himself, he had a lot he wanted to say but now he’d heard how much he had hurt you, it was like his brain had forgotten everything.

“You have to know that you both are the most important people in my life, you could never be a burden to me, ever. I'm so sorry I made it feel that way. Y/N I know I hurt you, I want.. I need you to know that when I made that promise I meant it, I’ve never intended to hurt you, and for the rest of my life, as long as you’ll have me I promise, with every single part of me that I will care and love for you and our baby.” You are starting to choke up at what he is saying but try so hard not to let it show.

“I’m not going to lie to you, I’ll always be scared of something happening to you both and nothing’s gonna ever change that, but I know now that I need to find other ways of working through that. I’ll do anything it takes for you to forgive me. I want to be there for you and our baby forever.” He looks down to your bump, his gaze softens, a slight smile grows, and with a quiet, soft voice he continues.

“I can’t wait to see you be a mom, you’re gonna be the best there is. I really mean it, our baby is so lucky to have you as a parent.” When he looks up he tries to understand how you’re feeling but your face is pretty much blank, you were in shock. You’d only been in two relationships before Bucky but not once had either of them apologised for something they did, now Bucky was practically begging you to forgive him, you didn’t know how to take it. You just knew you couldn’t lose him.

“Buck.. As much as I hate how you spoke to me, I don’t want to let this argument get between us, I want things to change. I know you are scared and I understand that.. I’m scared too, but we can get through it together. We are strong enough to not let this break us apart, okay?”

Bucky lets out a huge breath he didn’t even realise he was holding in. “Doll, I want nothing more than for us to be okay.”

You stand up and put your hand out towards him, “Come on, I got you something.” He hesitantly grabs your hand, and follows you to your room. Just as you reach the door he stops, and drops his hand out of yours. “Bucky.. It’s okay you can come in.”

“Are you sure?” He asks hesitantly.

“I’m positive.” He smiles slightly at your answer then follows you in.

“I got youu…” You trail your words out as you dig for his gift. “This.” You pass him the teddy, expecting to smile but instead he frowns, rubbing his thumb over each word as he reads it.

“You don’t like it?” you ask him, taking a seat next to him.

“I do,” He forces a smile out, “I’m just worried I won’t be a good dad. I’m just scared doll.” He looks up to you again and sees your eyes still glossy, and he feels he has to defend his words. “I am excited, please know I am. I just don’t wanna mess up again.” He reaches out to touch your stomach and you see him hesitating so you put your hand on top of his and gently push it onto your stomach.

“It’s gonna be okay Buck, I trust you.” You lay your head on his shoulder and cuddle into him, “We’re gonna be okay.”

“I love you both so much.”

“And we love you too.” Just as you finish speaking your stomach rumbles, which startles Bucky.

“Oh my god. Was that the baby??”

You had to hold in your laughter as you replied to him, it was way too early for the baby to kick. “No Bucky, I’m just hungry.” He follows your gaze to the tray with the breakfast he made you.

“Dolll… you didn’t eat?” You shake your head and Bucky stands up and brings it to bed.”Wanna share?”

“Of course.” He picks up a gummy bear but before he can put it in his mouth you grab it.

“Hey!” He looks at you confused.

“Sorry,” you say between your giggles, “you aren't getting any of the gummy bears, baby wants all of them.”

“Oh yeah? Baby wants all of them? Sureee.” You were both laughing now, as you tried to get all the gummy bears before him.

tags: (tagging everyone who was interested, sorry if I miss anyone!)

@missvelvetsstuff @learisa @pattiemac1 @satanstittyss @opheliabarnes @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @kandis-mom @lokislady82 @k4t13l0u1s3 @jbbarnesgirl @nikkivillar @sarahjoestewy-blog @aboobie @queerqueenlynn @shabanggg @topguncultleader @wintrsoldrluvr @invalid-croissant @ada728 @that-girl-named-alex @spoopiloops @mayusenpai666 @paarthurnax59 @cl7ire @hereforfun22-blog @almosttoopizza @trixiekaulitz @aweleyirene @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @mavrellover91 @yeselmolovesyou

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supersoakerfullofblood · 7 months

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Dialogue Tags and Action Beats, Pacing and Scene Development; a Brief Overview

I've seen a few "dialogue tags to use instead of 'said'" posts now, but most of the tags provided by these posts are trying too hard and are much more distracting than "said" would be. "I'll kill you," he declared; "It's okay," she exonerated; He remarked, "He shouldn't have done that." These are clunky to varying degrees, and if you don't recognize that now, you will with practice.

The truth of the matter is that "said" is pretty much always blank space that the reader will skim over without a second thought. It's maybe the only word we have with this function, and it should be treated as such! So why don't we use dialogue tags that add meaning to the dialogue? Something like "argued," "rejoiced," "remarked"? You can, and these should be used now and then (maybe not "rejoiced"), but overusing them weights down the prose, and in general, they should be replaced by action beats or description.

In much the same way adverbs and adjectives should be avoided if the noun they modify already has the qualities of its modifier, wordy dialogue tags should be avoided if you can show the character's emotions through other means. Dialogue tags are telling; action beats and description are showing. Look at these examples:

He remarked, "I can't believe it's not butter."

His eyebrows rose. "I can't believe it's not butter."

"I told you not to do it," she cried.

Her body shook; words rasped her throat. "I told you not to do it."

"Cried" and "remarked" here aren't bad, but they are weaker than they could be. In the first example, "remarked" indicates tone, but it doesn't do anything else. "His eyebrows rose" indicates tone and also develops the scene. It places the character in the reader's mind's eye, and we understand how that specific character reacts to margarine. How would a different character react differently? This dialogue feels embodied; it belongs to a specific body, a specific host. The second example is embodied too, and a little flowery, though not excessively so. We see how a character reacts to whatever "it" is, and we aren't told how they react. How does she cry in the first sentence?

The debate about dialogue tags, however, misunderstands what tags are actually for. Probably 10% of it is imbuing meaning where there is none (a simple word like "whisper" is a great replacement for "said" when used with restraint), but 90% of it is about tempo/flow/beat/pacing/whatever you want to call it. Read these sentences:

She said, "This is none of your business, and you aren't telling anyone about it."

"This is none of your business," she said, "and you aren't telling anyone about it."

"This is none of your business, and you aren't telling anyone about it," she said.

These sentences convey the same information, but to the careful ear, they carry a world of difference. The first reads snippy, like a terse command; the second gives some added gravity to the second half of the quote, landing hard on the last clause; the third one may be effective if the character is responding immediately to something another character said, since there isn't anything to preface the dialogue, and there's nothing halting it in the middle. All this happens in the two syllables of "she said." Use this word to affect the flow of your writing; use this word to affect how people read your writing. Another sin of other dialogue tags is that they may have too high of a syllable count to warrant use. "He expostulated" is a wild distraction from otherwise smooth prose. "She interrupted" is also clunkier than just having the character interrupt with your choice of dialogue tag/action beat placement or omission. In general, I'd be wary of any dialogue tag longer than two syllables.

Wordy dialogue tags can also be avoided by seeding description in your conversation scenes! Just as the world still operates when we have conversations, so too should it for your characters. Here's an exchange from a story I wrote:

He smiled. “Sleep well?” “Girls were up late.” “Is that a yes—” “No. I didn’t sleep.” She squeezed her eyes closed. “They were screeching.” The crowd caught up with them, swallowed them, and they were carried along the cement. “Oh.” Carmen paused. “Sorry.” “It’s okay.” “Is it all bad?” Bodies shifted in the crowd, and Piper glimpsed Beatrice again. Familiarity warmed her chest. Here was the world outside the camp; here was everything Piper knew. She stood between Beatrice and Carmen and lived again in band class, lived again on the bus home, let public streams flood her roots and grow her as a social monolith, an independent and undisputed landmark in her social circles. But at camp, she was little more than Beatrice’s friend, than Carmen’s apocryphal lover. “It’s not all bad,” she said. “Bea is here. And you.”

Description can easily mold into a character's internal monologue, as it does here. You can also go straight to the monologue if you'd like:

Was she sad, Piper thought, or coy? No, it was the start of a joke. “You didn’t think you were a big deal?” But Beatrice didn’t smile. “I didn’t think people cared that much.” She drew her hands close on the table, covered right with left, and looked into her knuckles. This was defeat, Piper recognized. Beatrice conceded, but of her own will. Piper won, but her score was sour, and Beatrice seemed to crumple her arms into the abject statue of her body. And Piper felt as she never had before, as if a storm of locusts ate at the border of her stomach, as if her skin turned to deep and polluted waters, as if moving one hand or twitching one muscle would irrevocably alter the course of life; the drumming of a finger would set off some idle paranoia in Beatrice, or a sniff of the nose would throw her from the wide window, drop her thirty feet down the wooded hill, and crack herself in two on the base of an implacable oak. This was grief, Piper felt, or something approximating it, something resembling internally a dark and blank horizon, something feeling as a stone feels in a pond whose size may only house that stone, something taking shape in the woman before Piper, shrinking now to a girl, now to someone uninspiring in a world of couplets. Piper sat still, because she did not know how to affect the world without ending it. “I’m sorry,” she said.

Imagine if the second example read:

"You didn't think you were a big deal?" Piper said.

Beatrice frowned. "I didn't think people cared that much."

Piper frowned because Beatrice was sad. "I'm sorry."

Much weaker! Why is the description so long in the second example? Because it's a big emotion! In the world of pacing, big things get big descriptions. In both examples, you feel exactly what the characters are feeling, even though I never used a dialogue tag besides "said." And I used "said" a few times to affect the pacing, which adds to how you perceived the characters. You understood the characters because stronger, more descriptive, more pacing-aware things replaced what could've been clunky tags.

Still, you can do whatever you want with tags, beats, and description. I've read incredible prose with zero tags and sparse beats, prose with paragraphs of beats and plenty of tags, and anything in between. It's all a matter of style, which is to say, experiment! Writers will be stubborn and say things like, "I don't use anything besides 'said' in my prose" or "I'll never use 'said' in my prose again," but neither of those are your personal style. They're declarations that you'll die on this hill you don't fully comprehend, to take a stand on an idea you've never genuinely played with. Go full maximalist; go full minimalist; find what feels right for the pacing you want to incorporate into your style, and recognize how pacing changes depending on the context and content of a scene. Nearly every word is permissible somewhere, it's just a matter of finding the right scene for it. And "said" is permissible always.

#writeblr #writing #writing advice #writing questions #creative writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writer

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unluckilyimnot · 7 months

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do you know who much am i in love with tsundere man ???

i wanna kiss raichi's face sooo bad, with lipstick on, all over his face, until he tripped over his words and is all blushyy

don't forget cuddles and sitting on his lap like AAAAA

i love your loki and sae's making out writings btw 🫶 can u do the same thing but with raichi but in this version?

making out - raichi, isagi

mlist || rules || requests are open :)

note : thank you sm for your request, both of you ! they're so cute, as you should queen (in a neutral way) i love them a loooot too. i post this Isagi one at the same time bc i did them with a similar vibe

I've been busy these day im sorry ! And I have a busy weekend as well with my gf so I'll do as much as I can today and post it later !

Raichi acts tough but deep down he knows he can’t fool anyone when you order him around. You two invited some of your friends over tonight to have a nice dinner together and you kept calling his name to get things done. He tried to boss around a little at the beginning, saying he was talking with the tip of his ears red but you just had to whine a little please for him to be by your side in a second. He's the grumpy type, but still ready to help whenever he's asked to.

He spent the whole night eyeing you from head to toes. His hand lingering on your thigh below the table and your seemingly innocent gaze let him know you get where he wanna go. He's a little impatient but that's nothing you can't handle.

When you finally say goodbye to your last friends, you stretch your back as soon as the door is closed. 'What a night' you thought, excepting Raichi around you but he was nowhere to be seen. Taking a few steps to the kitchen to find him cleaning up a little. Leaning against the door frame, you stared at him until he noticed you.

"You're less clingy suddenly." You spoke as soon as his eyes lay on you, a cute smile on your lips. Lips that got his attention all night. He shook his head, muttered things you couldn't understand but still amused.

"Come on, leave all of this. I'll take care of that tomorrow." Taking his head in yours, you dragged him along your bedroom and kindly pushed him on the bed. "You weren't that concerned about the dishes earlier," you whisper in his ear, slowly taking a seat in his laps.

Cuddling up against him, you played with his hair while debriefing the night with him. Your arms lay around his neck and, despite his red cheeks, his hands finally hold you closer, rubbing your back in a needy way. His eyes on your lips once again, you're sure it's already messed up so you don't mind making it worse.

When Raichi finally cuts your chat by kissing you like he wanted all night, the shadow of a satisfied grin on your lips. You broke the kiss and chuckled.

"What's so funny ?" He barked like he always does, making you laugh even more.

"Nothing, you're just cute." You answered, shutting him up with a kiss before he can argue. Pecking his face over and over again, all over his face not without leaving a red tint at the same time. His poor soul can't even speak a full sentence without stutter before grabbing your face and kissing you again.

You deepen the kiss instantly, done joking around and finally into it. You put his hands back on your back and thigh, feeling his short nails digging into your skin and you're here for it. It's intoxicating, you're lost in the way his tongue licks your lips, making you smile. You didn't realize how both of you wanted it too until now.

Your hand slowly drawing circles on his shoulders, you were thinking when you could finally take his shirt off when you felt his hands coming closer to the zip of your dress. He started pulling it down, exposing your bare back for him and only him. You glared at him in an amused way.

“I'm helping you.” He defended, putting his hands away from you to try to annoy you in some way. You shook your head with a loud chuckle.

“Go ahead.” you said before pushing him down on the bed, kissing him again.

Isagi is too cute for his own good, you’re sure of it. He can’t be rude to save his life. Well, besides football. With you he’s a sweetheart, always saying yes to anything you ask, even the weirdest things. So you like to mess with him a little. A sly smile forms on your lips before you hand your phone away.

“Yoichi I wanna try something !” you cheered, leaning on his shoulder, taking a look at his phone. He wasn’t really doing anything, only scrolling through his social media.

“What is it ?” he’s used to that, you wanted to try silly thing you saw on internet. You’re always after him to try tiktok trend, he’s sure it’s that once again. You grinned, taking his phone from his hands and tossing it nearly yours before sitting in his laps. You already got him gulped hard. Not that he’s not used to it, it’s even a position you like to cuddle but something in his mind tells him that’s not related to cuddle.

His hands find your waist, laying there comfortably, waiting for your next move. You get closer, your chest flat against his and you take his warm cheeks between your hands. He blinks a few times, already anticipating but flustered at the same time - not trusting that smile of yours. You cradle his face a little, pitching his cheeks and leaving small pecks here and there, on his cheeks, his nose and finally his lips.

“What do you wanna tryyy ?” he whined trying to escape the kisses attack but you shush him quickly, kissing him seriously this time. He takes some time to melt into the kiss, pulling you closer. You shiver at the coldness of his cold hands crawling under your shirt, meeting your warm skin and you smile in the process. His hands go up and down, smoothing your skin, grabbing it a little too hard from time to time, making you moan but mostly chuckle.

“You’re so cute Yoichi.” you purred in the middle of the kiss, leaving small pecks on the corner of his lips.

“Am I ?” he grinned, happy to realize one more time the effect he has on you. It’s easier for you to know how he feels so he appreciates it when you vocalize it. You can already feel him hard under your weight and decided it wasn’t too early to grind on him, wanting him so bad already. Just so he knew, you know.

Taking this as a green light, his lips started going down your neck to your shoulders, kissing it all the way, biting from time to time just to feel your hand pulling his hair at the tingling sensation. He loves that a lot, sometimes he’s a little brutal just for you to pull his hair or scratch his skin at the pleasure. He likes to mess around too, not that he’ll tell you. He likes the way your gaze darkens when he acts innocent. He has his way.

Coming back to kiss you after almost eating your shoulder, one of his hands stays on your hip, encouraging you to move in a back and forth motion ; hoping he will not be the first one to ask for more. But deep down, he knows he won’t or else you wouldn’t almost be riding him already. You were the desperate one this time, but it’s ok. He likes to take care of you.

I hope you liked it ! ♡

#blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock headcanons #bllk headcanons #isagi x reader #raichi x reader #isagi smut #raichi smut #isagi headcanons #raichi headcanons #blue lock #bllk

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falling-star-cygnus · 8 months

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somebody reblogged my appleradio post and tagged it as "not a ship" ...

anyway, budding qpr Lucifer and Alastor because i love them :D Duckie Deer pt.1 {pt.2}

{Lucifer is hunched over his new desk in Charlie's hotel, his grin bordering on maniacal as he puts the finishing touches on his newest rubber duck. In a flourish, he holds the little thing high- or as high as he can feasibly reach anyway- in the air}

"Now presenting..."

{The King of Hell pauses for dramatic effect, despite not actually having any audience except the judgmental stares of his scattered ducks}

"The Wendigo Peace-Offering Red Radio Rubber Duck! ...That switches hands!"

{Lucifer grins a bit more genuinely as the little thing teleports from one hand to the other, twisting into the shadows between his fingers and out to his palm. The more tolerable version of it's intended recipient, he thinks}

{For the sake of Charlie, he had begrudgingly decided to try and befriend the agitating Radio Demon. After all, if they were going to be sharing the space here for the foreseeable future it only made sense for them to get along, right? Or at the very least, try to tolerate each other}

{And what better way to do that then with a rubber duck?}

"Heh heh heh..."

{The king chucks the duck at the door}

"Who am I kidding, nobody wants a rubber duck look-a-like. That's weird, it's a weird gift!"

{As Lucifer rants, he fails to notice the rubber contraption nailing the object of his ire in the forehead. It bounces with a squeak into red tipped hands}

"I'd argue talking to yourself is weirder, your highness."

{That familiar mocking drawl and static covering, the sarcasm on his title, it causes the king to whirl around. Alastor is indeed standing in front of his door, pinching the horn of the duck between his claws with a raised eyebrow}

"Alastor! Just the annoy- uh- just the demon I wanted to see. At this exact moment. ...How much of that did you hear?"

{Smooth. Totally nailed that.}

{One of the hair tufts upon Alastor's head twitches in his direction, confirming Lucifer's suspicion that they were, in fact, ears. It's embarrassing how much effort it takes to stifle the coo that wants to erupt from him at the subconscious movement}

{He has a feeling the Radio Demon wouldn't take kindly to it}

"Hm... Is there any particular reason for this... look-a-like, as you called it? I can't imagine anyone in either of circles would appreciate a duck of my visage."

{Oh good. So just the last part, then. He could still salvage this}

"It's for you!"

{…Damnit.}

{Lucifer sounded too eager. Waaay too eager, actually, if Alastor's steadily raising eyebrow was anything to go by. The king clears his throat}

"Ahem. Uh- it's for you, actually. A peace offering! Since we're going to be around each a lot more often, I figured- well, we might as well try to get along- right? For Charlie's sake. Not- not because you're tolerable. Or because I like you. Heh. No."

{The deer demon blinks slowly, raising the rubber duck up to his eye by it's horn. His perpetual smile- seriously, is that thing stitched on or something? -looks painfully strained.}

"Is that so?"

{His voice is less staticky then usual, which encourages the King to keep going. Lucifer nearly lunges forward, grabbing Alastor's hands and adjusting the duck to rest in one of the Radio Demon's palms}

{He feels a little bad for the flinch and hitch if static that comes with it, but he ignores it for Alastor's sake. He'd like a comment about that even less then a comment about his adorable ears}

"What are you do-" "It switches hands!"

{Alastor quiets at that, his glare softening just slightly around the edges with a blink. Again, Lucifer takes the small allowance and runs with it. He uses his thumbs to push against the joint of Alastor's fingers, furthering flattening his palms; an awkward laugh spills from him}

"Hah- Give it a try! Just- think about it switching and-"

{The duck slinks into Alastor's other palm before the king can finish his sentence. It goes back and forth a few times, filling the deer's eyes with a sense of unguarded wonder that has Lucifer's breath hitching}

{It's gone as soon as Alastor remembers his company}

{The Radio Demon pulls his hands away from Lucifer's, keeping the duck tucked securely in his hand. The king tries not to mourn the loss, both of his surprisingly warm fingers and of the glimpse into his head Lucifer was so graciously privy to today}

{Baby steps, he reminds himself. Something dangerously hopeful stirs in his chest}

"I see..."

{Alastor looks, on some level, like he's lost his footing. He came in here expecting to trade insults like usual, no doubt, especially after getting bonked with a rubber duck of all things upon entering}

{And instead he's left cradling a gift made in his image}

"Well! It'd certainly be rude to refuse such a thoughtful gift from his majesty. Even if it's a silly one."

{It's a feeble attempt at regaining control at best, they both know it. Lucifer sticks his hand out with a flat expression.}

"If you don't like it, give it back."

{Alastor's smile tightens, just like his grip on his rubber duck}

"Now, now, I just said it'd be rude to refuse. Surely your manner aren't lowering themselves to your height?"

{And just like that, normalcy is restored as Lucifer sputters at the jab. The king stomps forward, maybe childishly but no one who matters is around to judge him-}

"What did you even come up here for? If I recall, your 'radio tower' is on the other side of the other side of the-"

{The deer demon had stepped on a wild rubber duck in his subtle attempt to keep distance between them and with a burst of static, Alastor had begun to fall backwards}

{Lucifer acts on instinct and summons his cane,- he's pushed his luck with touch already today- bracing it behind the wendigo's back.}

{It leaves the two in an... awkward situation to say the least. Alastor's long legs pulled out from under him and his lanky torso held up purely by the thin rod of his staff.}

{It leaves Lucifer looking down for once to make eye contact}

"...who's the short one now?"

{Alastor melts into shadows, still holding the rubber duckie look-a-like in one hand as he reappears behind the king. He can feel the radio demon's hand on his collar preventing him from falling flat on his face.}

"Still you, my friend."

{...friend. Lucifer could get used to that.}

#i just think they're neat #if anyone likes this i'll make a part 2 #appleradio #radioapple #duckiedeer #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel 2024 #lucifer's rubber ducks #alastor the radio demon #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer

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firesnap · 7 months

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i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.

ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?

its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?

im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.

This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.

I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.

This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.

My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.

With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.

Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.

(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)

But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.

#the current state of things

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trialbywombaat · 4 days

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🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

Okay so I might not be able to commit to 171 sentences 😂 But I will for sure give you a good chunk 💖💖💖

He hesitates, trying to figure out how much Howie knows. He never technically came out to Howie, or anyone else at the 118. He'd relied on the LA first responder grapevine, the same one that had let him know that Bobby and Athena had gotten hitched; that Chim was engaged and had a kid. He settles on a vague-ish response and presses send. Not exactly what I was asking... He waits, and wonders if it takes longer for text messages to travel overseas. He doesn't know much about the science behind it, and he's never had much reason to look into it before, but maybe Evan would know. It seems like something he'd be interested in. If it doesn't take longer for text messages to travel overseas, though, Howie is being frustratingly slow. Probably for a good reason, but it's annoying nonetheless. He swipes out of his messages app and opens Instagram. He barely uses it, and only even has an account because an ex had convinced him to download it, but now he finds himself typing 'Evan Buckley' into the search bar and tapping on Evan's profile. It's only been a few hours, but already he'd started to wonder if he was exaggerating Evan's attractiveness in his mind. But looking at Evan's profile, at the endless supply of thirst traps and selfies he's posted, it's quickly apparent that Tommy hasn't misremembered a damn thing. Evan is exactly his type. His finger hovers over the 'follow' button. It wouldn't be weird to follow Evan, would it? They've already exchanged numbers, after all. Before he can tap the button, though, his phone buzzes again. A response from Howie. Not a particularly helpful response, though. It just says, ohhhh. He watches the three little dots appear and bounce around while Howie is apparently typing more, and he tries not to think about how much he cares about the answer. Finally, another message appears. Sorry man, but he is famously into women. Okay. That's okay. He won't deny the disappointment he feels settling deep in his stomach. He really had thought Evan was flirting with him. And usually his gaydar is pretty accurate. But he's not infallible. Part of him wants to argue that Evan could be into women and men. Maybe Chim just doesn't know about it. But the word 'famously' gives him pause. There's more to the story that Tommy doesn't know, so if Howie thinks Evan is straight, who is Tommy to disagree. He allows himself to feel the disappointment for a moment, to ride it out. But he isn't going to dwell on it. It's not the first time Tommy's been attracted to a straight guy, and it probably won't be the last. He knows how this goes by now. Maybe they'll drum up a decent friendship, and Tommy will have someone to watch Fight Club with when they're back in LA. Or maybe they'll drift apart, and five years from now they won't even remember each other's names. And even if it seems to hurt a little more this time, if he can't seem to get Evan's face out of his mind, it's probably just because they've spent so long together already. Because he'd sat there for five hours refusing to move for fear of waking Evan, of losing the warm pressure of his head against Tommy's shoulder, and he'd imagined what it might be like to wake up like that every morning. So it might take him a little longer to move on than usual. But he'll figure it out. He allows himself one last look at Evan's instagram before he tries to get some sleep. A goodbye of sorts. At the top of Evan's profile he sees a notification that's just popped up. Buckaroo_Buckley_ wants to follow you. He has no choice but to follow back.

#911 abc #bucktommy #evan buckley #tevan #tommy kinard #firepilot #my fic #make me write

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viennacherries · 7 months

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Hiya!! I finished Kiss the Cook a little bit ago and loved it!!! Your writing has such good pacing to it, I really enjoyed reading it!

I also have a request, if you're interested: Rolan (or Gale tbh, works with any spellcaster) is in the middle of casting a spell but Tav/reader wants to tease him so they either 1, pin his hands together so he can't do somatic components, or 2, stick their fingers in his mouth to keep him from doing verbal components. This ofc leads to some nsfw shenanigans lmao

(My ao3 is Nightreader13)

Hope you're having an amazing day, and tysm for making such wonderful content, love ya 💜💜

tried to post it as a gift but it didn't let me! sorry about that.

this got away from me a bit but i hope you still like it! as requested: fingers in mouth to shut up a spellcaster. rolan/tav because i have brainworms.

thank you for the lovely message and prompt and for enjoying my writing! hope u love it <3

read on ao3 here

~~~

Summary:

NSFW, Rolan/Tav

"His hands curl into somatic shapes by his sides, and you realise he's speaking the incantation for Ice Storm. You're both backed into a corner like fish in a barrel, if he lets the spell loose you know you're done for.

You don't think. You shove your fingers into his mouth."

~~~

Rolan's temper lands you both in an alleyway, hiding from Flaming Fists, and you do what you have to in the name of shutting him up. In the end, neither of you stay very quiet.

~~~

Rolan has a fierce temper, when it comes down to it.

It surprises you somewhat, after seeing how he let Lorroaken walk all over him. Sure, he'd backed you and Aylin up when it mattered, but it had taken weeks for all of the bruises from the previous 'master of the tower' to heal. Though, you suppose you saw hints of it at Last Light, when Cal and Lia were missing.

It has its uses, admittedly. When you were ambushed by Bhaal worshippers in Bloomridge Park, and an innocent woman was struck down by one of them, his subsequent attacks were absolutely devastating. You could've stood back and left him to it, and he would've more than managed.

The fact he looks rather pretty when he's angry is an additional bonus; all tense muscles and sharp breaths. You blame your physical reaction to watching him fight on the fact he's the first male tiefling you've been around for an extended period in years. Your stupid infernal hindbrain had been telling you to bed him since he first raised his voice in front of you at the Grove.

Unfortunately, his temper has its downsides too. Like right now, for instance.

The two of you split from the group to search for Mol, who still hasn't turned up after being snatched from the inn in the Shadow-Cursed lands. Pairs made the most sense; more discreet than the whole troupe travelling together while still ensuring everyone had back up. Astarion had smirked when suggested you and Rolan pair up, arguing it looked less suspicious if the tieflings travelled together.

"If anyone asks, you can pretend you're lovers," he'd chortled. "Oh! And if you need to hide you can stuff yourselves into an alley and-".

You had elected not to let him finish that sentence, dragging Rolan away from camp before he had a chance to protest.

It had actually been reasonably pleasant. Despite initial impressions, Rolan is rather delightful company. Sure, he's still a dick, and nearly every other sentence that comes out of his mouth is an insult, but that just makes things more interesting. You'd found you were actually enjoying spending time with him.

Well. You had been. Until now.

It was your fault. You were distracted. He'd laughed at something you said, and you were busy looking at him. You could see a peek of his canines as he threw his head back, and the movement had pronounced the sharp line of his jaw and the muscle in his neck. You'd been so struck with the sight, and the awful realisation that you were actually starting to become attracted to him, that you'd smacked straight into the chest of a Flaming Fist.

"Oi! Devilspawn! Watch your fucking step!"

The man's voice was laced with malice. It's been years since you've been to Baldur's Gate, and it seems in your absence the city has become remarkably less tolerable. You suppose it's something to do with Elturel's descent, but the casually thrown slur stung either way.

"Sorry," you'd averted your gaze in a display of faux meekness. Usually you'd have him out on his arse for talking to you that way, but the streets are crowded and full of Fists. It's not worth the hassle. "Won't happen again, Manip."

"You sure as shit better hope it doesn't, or I'll put you and your Hellspawn boyfriend in the ground where you belong." He sneered around every word, flitting his eyes between you and Rolan. "Fucking foulblooded freak."

You'd grit your teeth, and started to nod, but just as the mercenary was about to step away Rolan had piped up.

"What the fuck did you call her? Watch your fucking mouth, Nul'zereb."

And now you're here. Next to a seething Rolan, in front of a Flaming Fist Sergeant, being slowly surrounded by other Fists as they take note of the commotion.

You raise your hands up in front of you defensively, "easy, please, he didn't mean it. We've had a long journey and-"

Rolan scoffs, seemingly intent on digging his own grave. "Bullshit , I meant every fucking word. They call us Foulbloods but these imbeciles probably can't tell a shit from a stew."

You shoot him a glare, but he doesn't look at you. Clearly he plans on dealing with this the hard way. Idiot. You feel your core twist. He's going to get you killed, for sure, but the fact he's willing to fight a crowd of people because they insulted you is unfairly attractive. Stupid. Dangerous. But really fucking attractive.

"You cheeky demon bastard!" The Fist shouts at him, and yep, the hard way it is. "I'll fucking flay you!"

Rolan is shouting back now, and his tail whips around violently behind him in a display of his mounting rage. "I'd like to see you try, you spoon-eared piece of-"

Okay, yep, that's more than enough of that.

You grab his wrist and utter the incantation for Dimension Door as quickly as you can manage, teleporting the both of you out of reach of the group of mercenaries surrounding you. As soon as your feet hit solid ground again you break into a sprint, dragging Rolan with you as he makes an indignant noise behind you. You hear the group shout, and the thunder of footsteps on the pavement as they pursue you.

Luckily, clad in robes compared to their metal plating, you and Rolan are quicker. You drag him through a few side streets, and then at the last minute you duck into an alleyway. It's a tight squeeze, but it's better than nothing.

You hiss your admonishments through your teeth at him in an attempt to keep your volume down. "What the fuck were you thinking, Rolan? I thought wizards were meant to be smart! You almost got us fucking killed!"

His eyes widen in shock, and he hisses through his teeth back at you as he argues. "Are you joking? What was I doing? You're the one that fucking walked into him! Besides, did you hear what he fucking called you? I can't believe you just-"

"Shut up!" He's raising his voice with every word and you have no idea how close behind you they are. "Of course I heard, but the middle of the street isn't the ideal spot to pick a fight with a group of Flaming Fists! They would've fucking flattened us!"

He scoffs, "as if, I fucking had them."

"Oh sure , sorry, I forgot how great and mighty you are. You obviously could've taken on a crowd of twelve blokes with military training."

He grits his teeth, "I still will if they fucking find us, what sort of hiding place is this anyway? If they spot us we're fucking cornered."

"You didn't give me much choice, did you? It's better this than-"

You cut yourself off at the sound of footsteps in the street. Rolan opens his mouth to say something but you place a finger over his lips to shush him. His mouth clamps shut reluctantly.

You can feel your heart beating in your ears as the footsteps get closer. They're right within earshot now, the slightest noise will alert them to where you are. You hold your breath.

Six of the Flaming Fists round the corner, and suddenly you're peering at them from the alley perpendicular to the street they stand in, barely 10ft away. You're shrouded by darkness, but if one of them happens to look this way carefully you're sure you'll be spotted. You daren't move.

You hear muttering and turn to look at Rolan, and you realise he's preparing a spell. His hands curl into somatic shapes by his sides, and you realise he's speaking the incantation for Ice Storm. You're both backed into a corner like fish in a barrel, if he lets the spell loose you know you're done for.

You don't think. You shove your fingers into his mouth.

His head whips back around to look at you, eyes wide in shock and anger. It suddenly dawns on you that. Well. You've got your fingers in his mouth. Three of them.

Not the most elegant solution to a problem you've come up with, that's for sure. But hey, it works.

He tries to draw back to free himself, and you can tell from his eyes that he's absolutely seething, but you can't risk him speaking and alerting the guards. You press your fingers down on his tongue and push them further into his mouth. His head backs into the wall, leaving him nowhere to go, and he writhes around the digits in his mouth. You press a little deeper. He makes a quiet, strangled noise in the back of his throat, before he finally resigns himself to his fate.

You stare back out of the mouth of the alley. The mercenaries are still there, pacing through the side-streets searching for you, but they haven't spotted you yet. After a few moments, they're all out of view, and you hear their voices disappear into the distance.

As soon as you can't hear them anymore, you let out a sigh of relief.

It's at this point you remember rather suddenly that your fingers are, in fact, buried in Rolan's throat.

You turn back to look at him.

He still looks angry, absolutely. But his eyes are softer around the edges, a little glazed over, and his tail whips around wildly where it's pinned behind him. He's panting a little around the digits, and you realise there's a weight against your thigh that wasn't there before. You raise your eyebrows and smirk.

"Is that a quarterstaff in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

He scowls, and makes a noise as if he's trying to speak, but you press down a little harder on his tongue and it turns into a whine.

This is an interesting development. Not an unwelcome one, but definitely unexpected.

You feel the smirk on your face widen, "you know," you say, as if you're pondering something, "you're much less annoying with your mouth occupied."

He scowls, but his breathing harshens. You grin.

"This is the problem with wizards," you know you're goading him, but you can't help yourself. Your hindbrain has kicked in, and he's right where it wants him. "They're all talk, aren't they? Take away your hands or mouth and what are you? You couldn't even cast a simple cantrip right now, could you?"

He makes a noise like a growl, and you can feel yourself rapidly approaching the point of no return, but you're finding it hard to care with his length pushed rock hard against your leg. You push your weight against it experimentally, and he whines around your fingers.

"Gods, you make some pretty noises. You look fucking delicious when you're angry, you know that? Defending my honour in front of all those people, spitting infernal curses at them. You wanna be the only one who talks to me like that, huh?"

His eyes are locked on yours, and he hesitates.

"Go on, now, tell me the truth."

There's another brief moment of pause before he shuts his eyes and nods.

"Good boy." He groans at that, and the noise sends heat rushing to your core. "Maybe you'll get a chance, but not til I'm done with you. Wanted to fuck you since I heard your petulant grousing in the Grove, I'm gonna fucking enjoy this."

He's writhing against you now, seeking pressure against his erection, but you pull back enough that he can only brush against you. The noise he lets out is pitiful.

"Shit, Rolan. You look lovely like this. Mouth wrapped around my fingers, all needy and desperate underneath me. Suck my fingers, show me how much you want this."

He responds instantly, hollowing his cheeks around you and stroking the length of your fingers with his tongue. You moan at the feeling. His mouth is hot and warm and his tongue is enthusiastic in its movements. Your noise seems to spur him on, and his eyes roll into the back of his head as he closes them, redoubling his efforts as he works your digits. You can feel slick pooling in your small-clothes.

You adjust your stance, rearranging your bodies so that his cock is rubbing against you between your thighs. The friction is delicious, but not enough between all the layers of clothing you're both wearing. Even so, he still moans as you grind into him.

Undoing the clasps of his robes is difficult with just your non-dominant hand, but eventually you free him from the confines of his robe and undergarments, gripping his cock in your fist. The noise he makes is completely lecherous, and it has you tightening your grip and twisting your wrist on the upstroke. He's not sucking your fingers anymore, just moaning around them, but it doesn't matter. He sounds fucking obscene and you're completely addicted as you wrench every lewd noise you can from him.

He's grabbing at your own robes now, trying to undo them, but he's struggling between the movement of your hand on his cock and the distraction of your fingers on his tongue. You pull your hand from his mouth, and the minute you do he groans and pulls you into a bruising kiss. It's feral and uncoordinated, both of your hindbrain's completely running the show now, overcome with the need to rut into one another. You release your grip on his cock to give him better access to your own robes.

He makes quick work of them, pushing them out of the way and pulling your small-clothes to the side to rub his cock against your slit. You both groan, and you lean backwards into the wall behind you as you hoist a leg up to plant it on the wall opposite.

He leans into your ear, hissing in a low tone that has your walls fluttering, and you bring your hands up to clutch at his chest. "Is this why you really dragged us down here? You're that desperate for my cock that you have to accost me in an alleyway? Fucking sorcerers. So full of yourself, when what you really need to be full of is a nice fat knot."

You moan wantonly and he groans against the shell of your ear, rubbing himself against your clit. The action has you keening.

"Gods, Tav, you're fucking dripping. Not sure you even deserve anything after pissing around like that earlier. Tell me how much you want my knot, maybe then I'll consider giving you it."

The logical part of your brain knows he's as desperate as you are, hard and heavy against your core, but the feral infernal instincts that have taken over would rather die than risk him stepping away without fucking you. The words spill from you easily without a second thought.

"I fucking need it, Rolan, need your fucking cock in me. Need you to bite me and mark me up while you split me open on your knot, need your cum inside me."

He teases his cock against your entrance, but he doesn't sink in. His words are breathless. "Yeah? Yeah you need it? Need my knot?"

You wail, "yes, fuck, please I fucking need it. Had me so wet, defending me like that, wanted to mount you then and there-".

The noise he makes is absolutely ruinous, and you moan back in answer. There is absolutely zero upper brain function going on in your skull anymore, you need him to fuck you into this wall right now or you might actually die.

He seems to feel the same, and slowly he eases his length into you. He buries his face into your neck and you wail and shudder as you feel the ridges on his cock drag against your walls with every inch he sinks further. By the time he's sheathed fully inside of you, his pelvis against yours, you're panting and writhing around him. His tail reaches around and wraps around yours, and they snake together in a tight coil.

He's shown remarkable restraint given the circumstances, sinking his cock into you slowly, but as soon as you clench your muscles around him his resolve snaps. He pulls his hips back and snaps them back into you, setting a brutal and rapid pace that has you sobbing. The angle, with your leg hoisted up, has every thrust hitting the soft spot inside your walls, and when you close your eyes at the sensation you swear you're seeing colours that don't exist, that's how intense and all-consuming the pleasure is.

He teases the soft skin at the base of your throat with his canines, and the sharp drag has you whining and baring your throat to him on impulse. It's pure instinct, your body begging for a mating bite, and he growls into your skin as he gives in to his own instincts and sinks his teeth into you.

The pain shoots through you like ice in your veins, but your mind and core sing . The pinch and sting is the perfect crescendo to the mounting pleasure, and with several shaky, panting moans you come undone around him, crying out as your whole body tremors. It's the most intense orgasm you've ever had, and your toes tingle as your release crashes over you.

He cries out, releasing his hold on your throat, and his hips stutter and pace falters as he chases after his own release. You feel his knot growing every time is catches against the rim of your cunt. Just as you start to cry at the feeling, half convinced it's going to rip you in half, he sinks it fully into you and it pulses and expands as he empties himself into you with a loud shout of pleasure. With every rope of hot spend he spills into you, his cock twitches hard into that perfect spot inside you, and without warning you're met with another orgasm which has you squeezing around him as he finishes. He groans at the feeling, low in his throat, and grinds himself into you as his cock finally gives its last, valiant pump of seed.

He groans into your neck, nosing his way up your throat and planting open mouthed kisses under your ear. You whine, and slowly lower your shaking leg back down to the floor. The change in position pushes his cock into you again, and you both grunt, overstimulated and spent. You stand there, locked together and panting for breath. He laves his tongue over the spot where he bit you, sucking a mark over it. The pain is almost too much, but the primitive part of you loves the feeling and you moan despite yourself.

There's silence after that. It stretches for a long moment as you both attempt to catch your breath, stuck together in the tight space of the alley with Rolan's knot keeping you tied together. When you speak, your voice comes out hoarse and blissed-out.

"I'm sorry for. You know. I didn't actually mean to, if you believe me."

He laughs into your throat, and rubs his nose into the pulse point under your ear in an uncharacteristically intimate gesture, "I'm not sure I do, but I'm not sure I particularly care anymore, to be frank."

You laugh too, "fair enough. I'd do it again, to be frank."

You both break down into warm, breathless laughter as you hold eachother. Slowly, you feel his knot shrink and he slides out of you. His spend gushes down your thighs, and he bends sideways to look, before moaning and throwing his head back against the wall behind him.

"That's absurdly hot. Fuck . You're lucky I just knotted you or I'd have you again right here."

You rub your thighs together, and whimper quietly, "I'd let you."

He moans again, "don't fucking say shit like that. That's not fair at all."

You shrug, "wasn't trying to be fair. If you don't like it, maybe you should do something about it."

He rolls his head forward to look at you, opening his eyes and levelling you with a hooded-eyed look that has your core pulsing. "Shut your mouth, or I'll have to shut it for you."

You shrug, then smirk. "I dare you."

In hindsight, you think Rolan was onto something earlier. Doing things the hard way is much more fun.

#bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 rolan #bg3 smut #bg3 fic #bg3 fanfic #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanfic prompt

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redthefortuneteller · 7 months

Text

About Snake's death

*Edit: I had to edit out a mistake I made, which was that I wrongly assumed the 20+ people Agni hung upside down in London had died! Thank you for letting me know in the comments and apologies for that! The main focus of the post still stands of course, which is to consider and wonder how the rules of justice in Kuro are applied and which are the rules exactly, if there are any. I also couldn't deny myself of adding a few other things, I once again hope you will tolerate my tendency to ramble on too much!*

From what is generally understood, Yana has a penchant for punishing characters for their wrong doings. I'd mentioned before that we can see this in Snake's case with him getting cut in the same side of the neck that Phelps got the snake bite on. It doesn't look like a coincidence, especially knowing how Yana operates in terms of details and foreshadowing. *Edit: I should like to add that Phelps dying was an accident. Snake, although he wanted to kill Smile, really didn't kill Phelps, specifically, on purpose. I've read someone argue that Snake isn't even to blame for the murder as it was a black mamba who killed Phelps, not Snake. I do not share that opinion, simply because he was the one who sent the snake. But it's still an interesting thought to consider as in "what does the author think or consider in this case?"* This being said, it's still a little hard to stomach that Snake should be dealt with in this way. I will try to explain what I mean. He died not even properly acknowledging Doll's presence, nor all his snakes surrounding him. He saw Finny leaving him behind. He died alone in his mind, wondering why he had such a horribly unfair life, treated like an animal, getting tricked and lied to by everyone, not understanding why or having anyone explain anything to him about why he was made a fool by everyone.

As he had just realized he was in the middle of it all, he was killed. He was dead before he could understand what had been happening all this time. Take Agni for instance, one of my dear long time favourite characters. He died a violent death, but at least died peacefully and happy that he got a chance at redeeming himself by doing good and living for Soma, after his sinful past in which he said he'd lived a life of sin in India and that he "hurt a lot of people". He did get sentenced to death but we don't know for certain, if what he'd done included killing. So I will still refrain from taking that into account. *Edit: Here's a link to a separate post I made, explaining why I assumed Agni had killed those people in London*

So all things considered, why did Agni die with a smile on his face, while Snake died with "why-?" as his last words? Indeed, why..?

I wonder if Yana is also taking into consideration the envenomation of the soldiers in the Emerald Witch arc to up the numbers? If we were to consider this to be Yana's "sword of justice" (haha sounds quite dramatic!), should we expect to see other characters dying such abominable deaths? Because there are so many characters who have killed a lot people and others that have killed some. Starting with the Phantomhive servants and ending with Wolfram, it could be a lengthy list. *Edit: Take Baldroy for example, he likely killed too many to even count. If there's such a concept as a "sword of justice", I dread to even wonder what will happen to him in the end.* Of course, don't consider for a moment that I'm wishing such things! I'm simply entertaining the possibility of this implicit method of justice being employed by the author, if, we were to consider that Snake's death came as a sort of payback for Phelps, that is all. Part of me wishes Snake's death would have been handled with a little more gentleness and grace. As he's such a kind hearted character... he didn't even get the chance to understand what he'd unknowingly gotten dragged into. But alas, this is the Kuroshitsuji universe after all where life's injustices are abound!

Thank you for reading and a virtual hug to all of you who love Snake! ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #snake #black butler snake #kuroshitsuji snake #kuroshitsuji agni #agni #yana toboso #kuro chapter 209 #black butler chapter 209 #kuroshitsuji morality #justice

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radmalenia · 1 month

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Most retarded zionist shit I've seen. Cringe settler moment

Ah...wow. This response will be a little lengthy. There is a shit ton to unpack in these two braindead sentences and I won't even get to it all here.

So first off, you used an ableist slur. Great start /s.

Second, you must have seen a post on my blog earlier with a message that boiled down to - "Hamas have done Very Bad Things, and intend to do more if they can (specifically to Jewish Israelis;) and so they must be seen for what they are and stopped" - Because that's all I can remember reposting in the last few weeks concerning this conflict. So apparently you decided that wanting them stopped is "Zionist"?? Not only that but some of the most dumb "Zionist" shit you've seen?

...I'm not buying that. It feels like you're just saying bullshit to be inflammatory.

And it seems you wouldn't know genuine Zionism if it smacked you in the face. Because you just think "Zionism" is anything that says something else beyond a simple "free palestine". Right?

It's telling how people like you never want anyone to discuss anything else - you want the discussion to simply be "Palestine good, Israel bad, no other players involved and no further nuance". You never want people to freely discuss Hamas... even as Hamas harms Palestinians all the time. If people try to you call it "zionism"; trying to shut it down on the spot.

- Would you even believe it if you were shown proof of Hamas stealing trucks full of food and aid meant for palestinians? Of them shooting any palestinians who tried to get to the trucks first?

- Would you even condemn the horrific rapes and murders they committed against innocent festival goers back in October; or would you ignore it? Or dismiss the horrors they committed as lies or exaggeration? Despite all the nauseating, traumatizing video and photo evidence? Despite a photo of some of them with their boots on the corpse of a woman they gangraped and murdered, literally winning a fucking "photo of the year" award?? Or worse, would you maybe argue it's "justified" because they've "had their land stolen and been oppressed for decades" or some such bullshit?... Because I've read people say that more than once now.

And if so, you should go die; because that would make you a vile disgrace - seeing how plenty of people have been terribly oppressed and yet never turned to violently raping and torturing to "protest" it or to "defend themselves". Seeing how rape is never self defense. And how there is never any justification for rape. Period.

So! We can and should criticize Hamas. And that is not fucking "Zionism" - it's criticizing terrorists. Hamas also wishes to wipe out all Jews; if somehow they won this conflict they would carry out genocide in Israel against the seven million Jews there. Whatever you believe Israel is or is not doing; they do have to contend with this threat. Palestine needs to be freed from this mess, but its freedom cannot come at the cost of the psychopathic rapist monsters who believe they have a religious mandate to wipe out Jewish people (and ideally other non-believers too;) being allowed to enact their sick intentions.

Speaking about this is no indication of Zionism OR anti-Zionism, it is simply the truth. Regardless of whatever the current actions of the Israeli government are; the truth about Hamas remains the same - that they are an Islamic terrorist organization who has committed atrocities, abuses israelis and palestinians alike, and says how they intend death to all Jews. An organization who are run and funded by a group of multi-billionaires who live safely in Qatar and have worked with media and other sources around the world for years now to make it so that, once this happened; many people would fucking defend Hamas instead of condemn them for the monsters they are.

They've gotten people like you to talk like criticizing them is some fascist action. To throw around shameful nonsensical things like "criticizing Hamas...is a settler mindset" .

Your brain is more twisted around than a complicated knot. At best you are deeply cringe and embarrassing and are projecting that onto others. At worst you might defend horrific atrocities and do apologetics for violent rape; and therefore are someone who would be better off not wasting oxygen.

Hopefully it's just the former.

Either way, you've just made a complete fool of yourself here in my ask box.

I hope if you read this then at least it will untie the knots in your brain a little.

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postive-rainworld-anarchy-conf · 2 months

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i’ve been waiting for people to realize azriel was a terrible person since last december. he reblogged a callout post (full of false accusations about zoophillia and stuff, as per usual) and then just DUMPED this huge rant about how incest fanfiction made him think it was okay to kiss his brother when he was 14.

no i’m not joking. obviously i can’t put a link here but: tumblr dot com / azrielfiend / 737002511661187072/tws-for-a-much-of-stuff-im-reblogging-again-but

just remove the dots and spaces and it’ll take you to the post, but in case you don’t want to, a DIRECT QUOTE from it is: “proshipping influenced me SO much that i almost (romantically and unconsensually) kissed my brother on the lips before my dad stopped me. speaking of my dad, i had intrusive thoughts about him and having crushes on him too.”

it just goes to show that this guy is fr not okay. even at 14, all the incest fanfiction in the WORLD could make me EVER make me think that incest is okay?? you couldn’t waterboard that info out of me either idk why he just randomly decided to dump that shit on some post like that (probably for pity points and to get attention…)

looking at it, and btw for anyone that doesn't know, you HAVE TO make your stuff screenreader accessible, not just because someone else might need it, but because if you ever need it for whatever reason, even for a bit (like after an eye surgery) it sucks to not be able to read what you've written.

especially when in tags, it makes it worse since people who wish to avoid those things can't when you do stuff like put zeros instead of an O, or a 4 instead of an r.

this is just a massive pet peeve of mine, but I read stuff like this and wonder why they are even censoring it like that?

read it and uh.

no yeah, no. ok no what I see what you mean, holy fuck. I mean way to sacrifice yourself to make a point there but damn.

"that sentence is also ableist because it assumes everyone can just tell it apart easily and youre dumb for not being able to."

uh, eh, ah. ok, I mean like. ok???? in that case, don't read it??? what

"i cant rest easy knowing proshippers would influenced kids like how they influeneced me in the past. its haunting, if you say this isnt harmful. then youre surely mistaken. im done. do not argue me on this im just so upset people are defending moonstone."

I think this just you, honestly???

I'm sorry but what the fuck did I just read

huh. that sure was a take & the half

I don't think this was developed because you were in the proshipping community, I just think you had incestuous thoughts about your brother and father? and then tried rationalizing why you did that as being convinced to do so because of proshipping. (even though most proshippers, not all, but most will tell you to not fuck your family, and instead read stuff about it instead or something) instead of realizing that maybe you just wanted to kiss your brother and were looking for an excuse.

this is all on you probably?

like you don't just get thoughts like that from outside sources. that comes from you.

but also at the same time, I don't know the situation, so who knows.

like it's fine to have incestuous thoughts and all, alot of people do. but the problem is acting on them... especially when it's non-consensual...

you have to work through them, not work for them.

well that was interesting

#positive rainworld confessions #rainworld

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thefreakandthehair · 6 months

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WIP Weekend ✨

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post.

tagged by @griefabyss69! thanks, friend! I finally get to these again because I have WIPs I can talk about now!

the WIPs:

sub eddie week

football AU

aspiring olympian days, beer league nights

lovers rage

icarus' life, chapter 2

no pressure tags: @cuoredimuschio @steveseddie @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @wynnyfryd @steddielations + anyone else who wants to jump in; it's always an open invite!

snippet of football AU:

“That’s it! I've had enough! Harrington, Munson, my office, now!” Hopper’s voice booms above their arguing, echoing off the metallic lockers that surround them. Eddie’s back reflexively pulls straight as though he’s been scolded. He hasn’t felt like a kid in a long time, but damn if he doesn’t feel like he’s about to get himself grounded. “Goddamn it,” Steve mutters, nostrils flaring and face pinching up into a grimace. “You know, I never got in trouble with Coach Hopper until you fucking showed up.” It’s not meant to be praise, but Eddie preens all the same, tacking on a wink meant to push buttons that he somehow just seems to know to press instinctually. “Thanks, it’s a gift.” Steve looks about ready to snap, tendon flexing from his jaw down the side of his neck, but he doesn't have a chance to snark back. “I said now!” Hopper pokes his head back around the corner, voice ricocheting off the walls.

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie fanfic #steddie fanfiction #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #myfic #football au #tag game

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incognitajones · 2 months

Text

writing patterns tag game

Rules: post the last sentence from your 10 most recently posted fics (less if you don't have 10 is also fine).

@mosylufanfic tagged me in this one - thanks!

She'd called his bluff and he'd lost, but it was only now that he felt shamed. (no one could save me but you, Rebelcaptain noir-ish AU)

He doesn’t argue with her any more. (bend me back in two, Rebelcaptain modern AU) - this would make more sense with the context of the previous line, but it's not strictly SFW so I left it out

Maybe his big mouth worked in his favour just this once. (Only Joking (Unless...), Din Djarin/Migs Mayfeld) - a rarepair exchange fic that was a lot of fun!

Cassian tries not to wonder what that light, careful touch would feel like grazing his bare skin, and fails. (Art Appreciation, gen-ish Jyn & Cassian)

In their first weeks here, while her skull rang with screams she couldn’t silence, he sat on the floor beside her and sang, sang for hours, until his voice wore down into gravel and he could only hum. (there will be singing, Bix & Brasso post-Andor S1)

Jyn wasn’t ready to make any promises—yet. But... “I’ll try,” she whispered in return. (a weight shared, Rebelcaptain)

“Do your worst.” Cassian kissed the top of her head. “I’ll look forward to it.” (no other place to be, Rebelcaptain)

And then she pulls his head down for another kiss, deep and melting and as slow as though they have all the time in the world. (a conspiracy of two, Rebelcaptain)

She slung her right arm and leg over his body, blanketing him with her slight weight. “Even better, if I sleep on top of you, you can’t get up without waking me.” (don't wake me, Rebelcaptain MSF AU)

“At least try to be a bit more careful—I don’t want to see you here again.” “Don't worry,” Jyn snarled. “The feeling’s mutual.” (Difficult Patient, Rebelcaptain MSF AU)

The only patterns I can see (other than that I write from a male POV more often than I thought) are that my endings tend to be stronger than my beginnings - at least, I usually manage to end on a pithy sentence or decent line of dialogue. I also find it amusing that 6 and 7 almost work together in sequence!

(The depressing part is that only 1 of those 10 stories was created outside of an exchange or challenge. I haven't written much under my own steam for months 😐)

Tagging: @englishable @luciechat @lucymonster @rain-sleet-snow and anyone else who feels like it!

#i did the thing #tag you're it #writing memes

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marvel-and-chicago-fan · 1 year

Text

Family Isn't Always Fair

Matildas age: 14 years old

Tw: Seizures, Hospitals, Family Arguing, Yelling, Mentions of shots

Summary: After Matilda's sister got diagnosed everything changed and she didn't get much attention as she used to. That was until she was diagnosed with Epilepsy and their entire family crumbles with one Chaotic night.

______________________________________________________________

Of course they didn't show up. They are always paying attention to my older sister Sophia. Ever since Sophia test results came back they've been acting like I don't exist. It's been like this for 3 years now since I was 11.

My competition was today for ice skating and they promised they would show up but turns out they had something “come up with work” I just know thats a code sentence for something that came up with sophia.

I haven't even had the time to tell them something that's been going on. My teachers and friends notice i blank out a lot and i've brushed it off for awhile but it's gotten to the point where i even got detention for not paying attention in class

***

Walking through the door I don't hear anyone or the house being filled with chaos. “Mom? Dad? I'm home”I shouted. Just as I thought no one, not even Sophia. All I see is a note on the counter with dads card saying I can door dash if I want too.

I heard someone knock at the door and I waited 30 seconds before getting up hoping the dasher had already left.

***

I was finally dozing off when my family came home

“Mattie we’re home” My dad yelled while putting the groceries on the counter.

I walked into the kitchen to see my dad already preparing dinner. “Wanna help?”

“Sure, it's not like I have much to do, '' I replied, finally relieved that I got to do something with my dad for once.

“Hey, so i made first in my ice skating competition” I said, trying to make some small talk

“That's good Mattie, so are you moving onto the final round? Jay asked while finishing up the pasta on the stove.

“Yeah and i'm going up against my biggest comp-”

“Your biggest what?” Jay turned his head towards Matilda when she didn't reply. “Mattie? Can you hear me” Snapping his fingers in her face.

(Authors Note, Even though abscess seizures last less than 15 seconds I'm going to make this last for around a minute reading it may seem longer but it's not that long).

Jays POV

I called Hailey to come downstairs because either Mattie was pranking me or something was seriously wrong with her.

“Yeah jay what's up?”

“Somethings wrong with Mattie, it's like she's just staring into space and she's not moving.”

“What do you mean she's staring into space?”Hailey tilting her head in confusion

Jay waved his hand in his daughters face and she didn't respond

“Alright i'm calling will”

I was keeping an eye on Mattie but before Hailey could call will, Mattie started moving aging.

“Mattie, are you ok? What happened”

“Yeah im fine and i don't know what happened” Her voice obviously confused

“What were we just talking about?” I asked. Will taught me in these situations I should ask questions if something bad were to happen.

“Uhh, I don't really know. It's like there's fog everywhere in my head”.

“Hails stay here with soph im taking her to med” I said almost dragging matilda off the kitchen bench.

“Ok, keep me posted. I'll tell voight you can't come in tonight.”

***

Connor “Ok so we ran some tests and it's epilepsy. It seems like she suffers from absent seizures from what she told and what you experienced with her. “

As Connor checks up on Mattie I feel ashamed to even be a father. How did I not notice this, she had been suffering for a while. I made it seem like Sophia is my only child, I made her feel left out, I made her… I made her feel like a glass child.

“Jay, JAY!” i was snapped out of my thoughts when will was trying to get my attention

“Sorry just thinking about something” I murmured

“I'm going to tell you this now, whatever happened whatever your think isn't your fault. You couldn't have prevented it no matter what you do. She's gonna have to live with it for the rest of her life and you guys will manage it I promise you.” will said while walking to sit down with me.

9 months later

Things are different nowadays. Hails and I have been arguing more now over Sophia on how I never pay attention to her and I spend all my time with Matilda now. We started attending couples therapy 5 months ago, and so far it's working . We've been arguing less and spending an equal amount of time with the girls. I still do spend a lot of time with Matilda but Hailey does have to know.

“Sophia, hurry up if we wanna get good seats then we have to leave now” I yelled upstairs while grabbing my keys and matilda's small bag.

***

“GO MATTIE” i cheered probably louder than everyone else.

Matties POV

Spin, Jump, Spin again anddd pose. I received an applause from the crowd and started to skate off the ice. I headed to the locker room and took my skates off and put my guards on. I walk around to find my family talking with my coach.

“Ahem?”My mom gives a look that means stop and behave.

Finally they finish and come over to me

“You did an amazing job honey, are they not doing awards today?” mom said as she hugged me

“No, they said something was wrong with there scoring so they'll release them out by email to us” I groaned

'`How about we go out for dinner, whose turn is it to pick?’ My dad asks

Before I can answer my sister shouts out “Olive Garden '' I don't really like olive garden that much but I prefer to have a nice family outing than to argue.

***

Once again me and my sister are fighting but this time it's bad. She had snuck out last night and got caught. She blames me because I didn't answer my phone to let her in. She ended up having to go through the front door which sends a notification to our parents phone every time the doors open. In my defense I had to sleep for my competition. I wasn't about to have dozens of seizures because I was sleep deprived.

I was talking on the phone and my sister overheard me saying “She was a spoiled brat and she's annoying” Truthfully i was talking about this girl in school that everyone hates. Next thing I know I was hanging up on the phone then next I was being pushed to the floor.

Haileys Pov

Me and Jay agreed that we would just let the girls fight now. They always made up and the fights were never physical, only verbal.

We caught Sophia coming back home at 3 in the morning. We grounded her until winter break which is in 1 month. The whole fight went on for about 20 minutes before jay told them to shout

Quieter before the cops came.

I was showing Jay an instagram post when there was a loud thud. Me and Jay both shot our heads up towards the ceiling. “Girls stop throwing stuff” i just looked down at my phone then looked back up when i didn't hear them shouting. “Matilda?...Sophia?” Me and jay both shared the same look and got up to see the damage

“Mattie, soph what's going-”Jay's voice in a mad tone “Mattie, oh my gosh.”

Walking in we see matilda having a seizure and sophia just standing there in shock

“She's having a seizure, Sophia. I need you to run downstairs and get my radio” Sophia just stood there looking at me. “Sophia so help me if you don't go get that radio you will wish voight would have dealt with you instead”. By saying that Sophia snapped out of whatever she was in and ran downstairs.

“What happened? She never has epileptic seizure in awhile” i asked

“She could’ve hit her head or something because i don't know how you get from standing the ground” Jay replied while checking his watch as hit the 30 second mark.

Sophia finally brings up my radio and radio for an ambulance. “This is 50-21 gorge. I need an ambulance to my location, 15 year-old female having a seizure.

At a minute and 30 seconds the seizure finally stopped. We rolled Matilda on her side in recovery position. Jay checked her pulse to make sure it's steady.

I ran my finger through matties hair, i couldn't hear jay asking where the ambulance is i just kept playing the scene in my head.

(Forgot to change the pov so this is going to to be in 3rd person until Voight is done yelling at Sophia)

“Hey Mags” will said while putting his tablet down

“Hey will, you need to control your niece”

“What did she do this time?”

“She told me last week that she wanted to live with me because i let her eat ice cream while she was over at my house because "everytime i come to your house you let me ice cream"” She replied and made a squeaky voice

Will let out a small chuckle “She for real said that? I can't blame her i would want to eat ice cream all the time too”

Just then the buzzer went off signaling that someone new came in. Will ran over

“What have we got”

“14 year old Matilda Halstead, found having a seizure in her bedroom” The paramedics said

Will knew he couldn't treat her because she was family. Connor and Ethan stepped in for the place of will.

“Ok, we're gonna move her to the bed on 3, (1-2-3).” Ethan said while getting ready

“Hey matilda, can you tell me how old you are” Connor said while rubbing her sternum

Will just stood there looking through the open door. It took will to fight off every thought to go in there and help.

Just then Natalie walked in to begin her shift. “Hey will, how are you?” When she didn’t get a response she turned around to see Will standing there. “Will are you good?”.Natalie caught a glimpse of what was going on and decided that will shouldn't be seeing this. “Will, how about we go sit down.” Natalie brought will into the waiting room where the rest of his family was.

***

“Ok Matilda you're going to feel a small poke.” Connor was telling Matilda what they were doing even though she wasn't responding.

“I want her taken up for a CT scan and I want the results as soon as possible, say Dr. Goodwin orders it.”

Connor didn't care if he got in trouble for lying about Sharon Goodwin's words. Matilda was family and he would do anything for her no matter the consequences.

***

Connor walked into the waiting room to see Jay, Will and Natalie. “So she had a seizure because of how hard she hit her head. She also has a mild concussion. I want to keep her for 3 nights just for observation. She wasn't reacting to the meds we originally gave her so I want to rey giving her something else.” Connor explained

“Why wasn't she reacting to the meds”. Jay asked obviously concerned

“I don't exactly know why, I wanna take her up for testing if it's ok with you and hailey”

“You can do it, Me and hailey give you permission to do whatever it takes to help Mattie '' Even though hailey was here he knew she would give permission.

“We moved her to a room on the Peds floor, but she is awake so you can go see her,” Connor said.

“I have to go take care of patients but ill make sure to come see her when i can. I’ll find someone to cover you for a couple of hours” Natalie said while getting up

“Thanks Nat” Will replied while walking away from her

***

“ARE YOU INSANE SOPHIA?” Hailey yelled at her eldest child “MATTIE COULD HAVE SOME SERIOUS DAMAGE NOW, DO YOU REALIZE THAT”

“Hailey take a break or go see your daughter, I’ll deal with her” Voight stepped in.

Sophia let out a gulp knowing shes dead. If you were in trouble and Hank Voight stepped in to deal with you, you might as well just go to jail.

But this time was different, something about the way he was talking was completely different from when he would usually yell at the kids when they were in trouble. This time he was…he was Comforting and nice.

Hanks Pov

“Sophia, you do understand that your parents are extremely mad at you”

Sophia was too scared to even talk. She thought if she said something Hank would blow up at her.

(Idk what else to do for this part let's just say that hank didn't yell at her and he listened to why she did what she did)

***

Matilda’s Pov

All I could hear was ringing and muffled voices all around me. When I tried to open my eyes I immediately shut them because of the blinding light. I can feel someone holding my hand and I finally open my eyes to see my dad sleeping in the chair, he moved close to my bed and my uncle will talking to my mom catching her up on what happened, to wherever she went…

My head is pounding and my mind feels hazy. “Did I have a seizure or something?” I think to myself.

Just then my dad wakes up and sees me looking around the room.

Jays pov

I can see Mattie’s eyes and she is obviously confused and wondering why she's here. It's not our first time here and everytime she ends up crying because she doesn't remember what happened and she's confused.

“Hey Mattie, how are you feeling?”

“Like I was thrown in a washing machine on a spin cycle.”

“I can see your humor and attitude hasn't gone away.” I chuckle

Just then will and hailey come into the room asking all type of questions

“Maybe you guys need to calm down on the questions and-” Before I could finish Mattie started crying.

“Why’s she crying?” Hailey asks concerned

“She usually cries after waking up because she's confused and scared. Plus you two bombarded her with questions as soon as you saw her” I reply with a snarky tone

Just then the pager went off“ Shoot i gotta go take care of a patient i’ll be back later Mattie.”

“So did you talk to Soph” I said breaking the silence

“Yeah i yelled at her for like 2 seconds before voight came in.”She said looking down at the floor

“And what did she say?”

“She explained everything and i understand why she pushed her”

“Really hailey, you're protecting sophia again? She's the reason why we're having this conversation right now.” I yell but in a whisper

“Jay, how about we talk about this at home, we're in a hospital.” She says

“Fine, we'll talk at home. ”

***

I am so fed up with Hailey always protecting Sophia in these types of situations and using her disability as an excuse for her actions. “You're never here to see what's going every time she's in the hospital the first night, You're always at home with sophia.” I snap

“Well, yeah who else is going to watch her?”

“HAILEY, she's 16 years old, Mattie was staying at home watching her at 12 when we were at work and when sophia wasn't home” I yell but none it down because it's night time and i don't want Sophia and Mattie to wake up.

“I WAS WITH SOPH ALL ALONE HAVING TO DEAL WITH HER” she yelled back in a whisper.

“You seem to prioritize Sophia over mattie. Did you forget that you have another daughter? You made me feel like i needed to pay attention to Soph more than Mattie”

“Jay I-” She tried to speak but I cut her off. “No, I need to talk. Matilda has felt miserable for 3 years because of us. I didn't even realize I was making her childhood like mine. She felt like a glass child for years hailey…YEARS, and now when i try to hang out with her and be with her you need to put yourself there and say that “You should take Soph with you” I imitated her “Sophia this, Sophia that” I imitated her again “Do you ever get tired of talking about sophia?, NO YOU CLEARLY DON'T” I yell this time “GOD HAILEY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU HAVE TWO KIDS NOT ONE, BUT TWO.” I shout in her face “I am so done with you right now-”

Just then Matilda walks in the kitchen wondering what's with all the shouting

“Dad, what's going on?” she asks

“Nothing Mattie, go back to bed i’ll be there in a minute” I reply with a smile

She runs back up the stairs and I turn back to my wife. “You don't even go to her competitions anymore…” is all i could say. I couldn't stand to see her right now.

I walk up to mattie room and knock on the door frame “Hey my favorite ice skater, can i come in?

“Sure”

I walk into Mattie's room and sit on the bed.

“Hey dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you and mom gonna split up?” she asks me with tears in her eyes

“Oh Mattie, I really don't know honey. Me and mom are just going through stuff and we aren't happy with each other right now” I tell her while bring her in for a hug

“I heard you arguing about me and Soph, but mostly me”

“We just had a disagreement about something that had you in it. It's fine, nothing bad was said about you. I reassured her

“You don't have to talk to me like i'm five anymore dad” She said making the word five very clear

“You're still gonna be my tiny little baby forever though” I chuckle “Mind if I sleep here tonight?” I didn't want to sleep in the same bed with hailey let alone be in the same room with her.

“Why” Shes asks

I quickly come up with a lie that she will believe due to the recent events “Will and Connor said i need to watch you just incase you know”

“Sure you can go get the spare mattress in my closet because i know you wont sleep in my bed because you complain i move in my sleep, plus i don't wanna sleep by someone who snores like a bear”

“You got one thing right, you move in your sleep like crazy and two I do not snore like a bear, I sleep peacefully like a baby.” I say while bringing the mattress and blanket to the room.

While setting up the mattress I realize I don't have a pillow “Hey Mattie do you have a-” I get cut off with her throwing a pillow in my face.

“Here's your pillow you big baby”

“Alright go to bed before i ground you for doing something stupid, i'm gonna use the bathroom real quick”

“Ok”

I came out of the bathroom to see Matilda passed out in her bed. She definitely missed her bed while being at the hospital.

I get into bed, well the mattress and think about what I'm going to do tomorrow. I can't continue living with someone who acts like this and doesn't recognize her other daughter. Let alone see her when she's in the hospital.

***

Things are different now. Hailey wouldn't agree with me on how she's wrong about Sophia and how she “can’t” take care of herself. A few months after the whole thing with Sophia and Matilda we got a divorce. We dropped the charges that were held against Sophia because we didn't want it to hurt her future. Me and her still work at intelligence but i don't come in for work unless i need to. I do cases from home in my office so I can be with Mattie and I don't have to see Hailey as much. I do go into work every couple of days to be with the team and talk about cases and whatnot.

Mattie alsojust celebrated her 15th birthday with family and friends. As an extra gift from me to her I took on her dream vacation to paris. I even tried to ask hailey if she wanted to come but she said no and that she had work that week. I knew it was a lie because I knew her schedule and she probably just said that so she could take care of sophia. Mattie, even a national titIe when she went to Nationals. She was the highest scoring out of the entire competition. I couldn't be happier.

Although I do miss our whole family being together it's been better now that we're apart. I've gotten to know Mattie way more and had to listen though all the girl drama. Even had to help her when she first got her period and i didnt know who to call because Hailey and Kim were undercover.

Life may be different than it was. What maybe a year and a half ago, but were going to be fine and were going to live with it.

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family” - Anthony Brandt

This is way longer than it is on wattpad because i combined both chapters into one plus i like changing the title in tumblr for the fun and looks if it. Just a little quote to close out this story

#connor rhodes #will halstead #jay halstead #one chicago #chicago pd #halstead sister #halstead brothers #tw: epileptic content #epilepsy #non epileptic seizures #family #glass child

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