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#I can see the whole interaction in my head
charliemwrites · 1 day
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Part 12 SpecGru reader!!
No content warnings for this chapter.
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You mull over your captain’s words in the hours before dinner. Sitting behind Nova in her temporary room, Doctor Who’s opening theme warbling from your laptop’s speakers. You gently work oil into her scalp, following the precise alleys formed by her braids.
It’s a soothing ritual, not just for her, but for you. An act of care for a woman who’s been so kind and patient with you. Who always stood her ground on your worst days, and never allowed herself to be goaded into a useless argument. She’s warm beneath your fingers, soft against your chest, the scent of coconut and cinnamon sweet in your nose.
Slowly, you begin to card through memories you put great care into neglecting.
The day you left the hospital, feeling more pathetic than you ever had in your life. A packet of care instructions folded over in one hand. You remember the way Gaz hadn’t quite looked you in the eye, mouth tight and regretful at the corners. Almost guilty. Even when he handed over a bag of fresh clothes, saying he was glad to see you on your feet.
Did you know then? Was there some twinge of foreshadowing in your gut? Did you hear a foreboding whisper in your mind, of how the following twenty-four hours would devolve?
Maybe you did or maybe hindsight is a liar.
What really stands out, even after all this time, is how betrayed you felt (still feel) when you reflect on that interaction with Gaz. That the best he offered was a weak warning that Ghost and Price were pissed off at you. The hurt that he didn’t even ask how you felt before disappearing for the rest of that awful day. You never saw him after your initial discharge, he might as well have borrowed his lieutenant’s namesake.
And then there was Johnny.
Soap, who made himself perfectly visible, if only to express how pissed off he was. He never bothered to ask how you were doing either – didn’t even seem relieved to see you conscious and in one piece. He was tight-jawed and tense; the few times he deigned to speak to you was clipped and terse.
When you finally left, you remember how your chest ached, knowing (intending) you’d never see his thousand-watt smile again. A fair few of your tears on that flight had been in self-deprecation for expecting anything but his total, unwavering loyalty to Simon. It stung that for all his crowing about being a team, looking out for each other, no one left behind – he couldn’t spare you a crumb of forgiveness for a mistake in the field.
Price and Ghost had almost made sense, really. But Gaz and Soap had been a peculiar sort of pain. Your fellow sergeants, who had made you feel welcome and comfortable in the beginning – who had been the bridge and buffer between you and your intimidating superiors. And maybe it wasn’t their fault that you never quite felt like you had a seat at their table, but they’d tried.
Still… at least you can look at them. You can’t imagine opening your mouth to face Price or Ghost and anything but acid pouring out.
“What’s on your mind, babes?”
You blink, palms automatically cradling Nova’s head as she tilts it back to peer at you. On autopilot, you dip down to kiss her forehead, then the gentle curve of her lips.
“Hmm?”
“Don’t get me wrong, the massage is nice,” she teases, “but you’ve gone over my whole head at least twice now.”
“Oh,” you intone, swiping your thumb behind her ear. “Just thinkin’ is all.”
“I can tell,” she giggles, “there’s practically smoke comin’ outta your ears.”
You grimace a bit, arms lowering down to circle her shoulders in a hug. She curls her clever, slender fingers around your forearm, tracing soft patterns with her blunt nails.
“Sorry, love,” you mumble, flicking your eyes to the screen. Realize you’ve only got a vague idea of what’s going on. “I’m being a bad date.”
“You’re not,” she insists, squeezing your wrist. “This s’all been a lot, yeah? I just don’ want you being on your own in there.”
She taps two fingers against your temple. You used to spend all your time alone in your own head. Not because it was safe – it wasn’t – but it was familiar. It took her and the rest of the team concerted effort to pry anything of value from you.
Now, you muster up an appreciative smile as you nuzzle into her hand.
“I’ve just been trying to decide…”
She pauses the show and wriggles to get a better look at your face, hums for you to continue.
“If I should try talking to the 141,” you continue. “Cap said I should consider it. See if we can put all that old shit to rest.”
“Do you want to put it to rest?”
“I should.”
“But do you want to?”
The question brings you up a bit short. Being mad is easy. You’ve been mad at them for so long, one step short of loathing, that you’ve settled into the feeling. Dug your heels in. It’s an easy way to put a stopper on all the complicated hurt lying beneath.
“I want to talk to them the same way I want to go to the dentist,” you muse.
She picks up what you aren’t saying.
“You don’t want to, but you know it’s healthier if you do.”
You grunt, still too proud to admit it outright.
“The wound closed over, but it never healed properly,” she says. “Maybe you’ve got to reset it, yeah?”
You sigh. “Yeah. Just not sure where to start.”
She shrugs. “Wherever you want to. Do it on your own terms. Only way you’ll be able to stomach them.”
You chuckle. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“’Course I am,” she chirps. “I’m used to navigating bad weather.”
You nip at her fingers, prompting a bright peel of laughter as she tries to squirm away. As you wrestle her back into your lap, your nerves soften and settle.
Even if you excise this wound, you know you won’t be left bleeding alone. Not ever again.
You haven’t come to any concrete decision after dinner. Not that anyone asks. Nova isn’t one to push and your captain has already said his piece. You haven’t told Nikto or Keegan about your dilemma yet, and you’re not sure if you will.
Nikto’s take on the situation isn’t obvious – though if you had to guess, it would be similar to Nova’s. But Keegan? You already know what his answer would be.
Of anyone in SpecGru, he had to work the hardest to earn even an iota of warmth from you. He reminded you too much of Ghost – and how could he not? The perpetual mask, the sharp one-liners. Gruff and closed off, frighteningly capable, and a crack shot with a sniper rifle to boot.
It used to take everything in you to pull your punches during spars. The rare instances that you would agree to eat with your new team were never if Keegan was present. And more than once, you walked into the rec room, saw his looming figure, and turned right back around.
The only time you could stand to look at him was during missions, but your captain was always sure to receive a killer glare if he paired the two of you together.
Keegan was your partner on the mission that changed things.
It had been a week straight of shit sleep and bad memories, sick on loneliness and anger. When boots hit the ground, you stormed right in, eager to prove to yourself (but really, to them) that you were valuable. Didn’t wait for Keegan, but that had never stopped him from keeping pace with you before.
You didn’t clear your corners, got sloppy and hasty.
Took two stab wounds before Keegan shot the hostile in the temple. When he tried to call the others, you demanded that he finish the mission first. Would have rather bled out than be the reason another mission failed.
The pain and blood loss dragged you under as soon as you choked out the demand.
Then, Keegan’s face was the first thing you saw in the hospital room. Not the mask, him.
Even with dirt and black paint smudging his face, you could see the dark, worried circles beneath his eyes. Could read regret in his angular jaw, relief in the slant of his scarred mouth. For the first time, you looked in his eyes and saw more than an echo of your former lieutenant.
You saw your teammate. The partner you’d left to fend for himself because you’d been handicapped by your own pride. You saw Keegan.
“Did you finish the mission?” you rasped.
He frowned, but your captain stepped forward. “He did – once we were there to stop the bleeding.”
You never saw Ghost in the weave of his mask again.
And soon after, Keegan was the first person you opened up to about the 141.
It was that very same week. You’d been sick on shame and embarrassment, using your injuries to nurse your wounded ego. Skipping meals in exchange for raiding your snack drawers and moping in your cot.
Keegan hadn’t made himself scarce after your discharge. None of your team had, really – but he’d made a point of checking on you. And lacking your usual sharpness, he hadn’t been deterred by your comparatively mild standoffishness either.
Which was how you found yourself stubbornly tucked into the corner of your cot one night, while Keegan sewed the holes in your shirt. He kept shooting you amused looks – probably because you hadn’t taken your eyes off him once. Half wondering why he was there, half waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“You gonna say something, or you just glare all night?” he drawled eventually.
You narrowed your eyes. “Do you plan to stay all night?”
He shrugged, but his eyes flicked to yours, the corner of his mouth ticking up. (No mask. He hadn’t worn one around you since the hospital. Not unless people outside your team were around.)
“If you’ll have me. Been meaning to get you caught up on the show we’ve been watching.”
You huffed, frustrated. “Why?”
He arched his brows at you, needle paused. “Because I like you, despite your best efforts.”
You stared, a little appalled, a little touched. Keegan just chuckled and went right back to mending your shirt. You drew your knees up tighter and hid your quivering mouth with your arms.
“Cap says your last team was shit to you,” he said into your sullen silence.
You scowled. He put a hand up as if in surrender.
“He hasn’t said more’n that, don’t worry,” he continued, “I’m just sayin’… I don’t take any of it personal. You’re a good teammate, I trust you with more than my six.”
Why, you wanted to demand, flabbergasted and all the guiltier because you knew you didn’t deserve it. Why did he trust you? Why was he so patient? Why was he there at all?
You sniffled, but he just kept talking.
“I want to return the favor, ya know? I’m not askin’ you to trust me after the mission, but you don’t gotta be on your own either.”
You were crying quietly by that point, face so hot that your tears felt cold, stomach aching from more than stab wounds. He finally looked up, saw how you were falling apart. But he didn’t shy away, didn’t close himself off. It wasn’t pity or sympathy that softened his eyes.
“The shit you and I carry, we’re not meant to do it alone, sweets.”
And what else could you do, but spill your sorry guts?
You remember the expression on his face when you got to the part about Ghost. Remember how tightly he held you on your cot, all the distance (emotional and physical) closed between you two. Remember waking up the next morning, Netflix still open on your laptop and flopped gracelessly over Keegan’s stomach like a childhood sleepover.
You couldn’t have iced him out again even if you wanted to, after that.
No, there’s no question what Keegan would tell you, if you asked about talking to the 141. He would say there’s no good reason to waste oxygen on a single one of them.
So, you don’t ask.
You climb into his lap in your temporary room that evening, peeling his mask up and off with slow hands. His eyes are already half-lidded, the corner of his mouth curved fondly. His hands spread across your thighs, warm and rough. The scar twisting across his left palm is sweetly familiar when he draws it along your skin.
“I’m going to try talking to the 141,” you admit.
His jaw twitches, eyes flickering. “Now why the hell would you do that?”
You sigh, curl your fingers into the brassy crop of hair he’s been growing out. He’s got a quick temper, and a habit of misplacing it when it’s been triggered by something out of his control. You don’t take it personally, you never have – it’s gratifying to see how much he cares.
“There’s no good reason to waste oxygen on a single one of ‘em,” he growls.
“There might be.”
He sits back, skeptical but waiting.
You continue, “I’ve got a lot of shit to say to them, and they seem eager to hear it.”
“Why give ‘em the satisfaction?” he asks.
“Maybe it’ll help with the nightmares.” That gives him pause. You draw your thumb soothingly across his temple – a bullet graze from saving your life. “We’ve got too much shit to carry, you and me. Unloading some of it is as good a reason as any.”
His hand drifts up your side, grazes the tattoo coiling down your arm. (The second you ever got – a big piece that took hours, Keegan never leaving your side. Nikto, Nova, and your captain periodically dropping in to provide snacks and water.)
He cups your jaw, guides your face down until your foreheads touch. You stay there, breathing him in. He smells like yours.
“What if they make it worse, huh?” His thumb caresses over your cheekbone the way it has a dozen times before, wiping away tears. “I’ll have to kill ‘em.”
You huff softly, amused. “Then kill ‘em. But I’m stronger than I was, Kee. There’s nothing they can weigh me down with that I can’t carry.”
“I know,” he whispers, tilting his chin to drop a sweet, aching kiss on your lips.
“Besides, I wouldn’t be carrying it alone anymore.”
His expression lightens, pride shining from his eyes. “Damn right.”
It’s nearly midnight when you wake from a light doze. Keegan is snoring softly, an arm and leg each hanging over the side of the bed. Your mouth is dry, but you realize it’s your stomach that woke you – pangs of hunger from picking at your dinner earlier. You need to eat.
Quiet and careful, you crawl out from beneath the sheets. Keegan is a heavy sleeper compared to the nearly supernatural senses of Nikto; he hardly stirs as you pad for the door. The hall lights are dim, but you only open it a crack to slip out.
The hall is quiet, no lights on beneath any of the other doors. You hope that means the rest of your team is sleeping peacefully. If you remember right, Nikto and Nova crawled in with your captain this evening. They’re all in good company if nightmares creep in; you pray Keegan doesn’t have any while you’re up.
Thankfully, the rec room is only two halls away. Light is spilling out as you turn the corner – there’s a sensor that shuts them off if no movement is detected for a while. Someone is either in there now or was recently. You half hope it’s the latter, but that doesn’t deter you from entering.
Your surprised to find Soap leaning against the kitchenette counter, a steaming mug in hand. His expression is flat, grim. Tired. You pause just inside the doorway.
“Might as well come in,” he says, voice low and rough. “I’ll clear out in a mo’.”
Even from where you’re standing, you can see that his cup is mostly full.
You exhale and shake your head. “Don’t have to.”
“How gracious,” he rasps, brows twitching like he wants to scowl. Like he can’t quite commit to being as bitter as he should be.
You’re too tired for your usual acid, as well. Just sigh and reach for the fridge door.
“Is that how you want this conversation to go?” you ask.
“Is this a conversation?” he replies.
You pluck out a yogurt cup. “It can be.”
He’s glaring into his coffee now, index finger tapping at the ceramic. Thinking. Or maybe just leashing all the things he wants to say but knows will drive you right back out.
“Why now?” he says finally.
You shrug. “Because I’m ready now.”
A tendon in his jaw twitches. “That’s not fair.”
A hot flicker of anger ignites in your chest. You tamp it down with a spoonful of yogurt, measuring out your words and tone.
“How do you reckon?” you inquire.
“You left,” he says. It’s been a while, but you can detect the hurt underlying the accusation. You suspect it’s something he’s wanted to say for a long time. “You left us behind.”
You click your teeth off your spoon, take a deep breath. It’s factually true. You are the one that left but—
“I wasn’t going to wait for you all to kick me out officially.”
He finally raises his eyes, a dark storm of emotion swirling within them.
“We wouldnae have.”
You tilt your head, cynicism in the flat line of your mouth. “Didn’t seem that way to me.”
“I ken you and Simon were—”
“Don’t.”
His mouth snaps shut, brows furrowed. You point at him with your spoon warningly but bite back the sharp remark on your tongue. Arguing isn’t the point here.
Settle instead to say, “Don’t speak for the others.”
There’s a beat of silence as he digests that, then finally nods. “Alright. Just you ‘n me then.”
You turn back to your yogurt, swipe up another spoonful as you reorganize your thoughts.
“I didn’t leave because of Ghost,” you begin. “Not entirely. I left because I was never part of the team. And what happened after that mission just… made it all very clear.”
Soap frowns, opens his mouth like he wants to deny it, but you hold up a finger to stop him. He takes a long sip of coffee and waits.
“You didn’t check on me at all. You weren’t there when I woke up. You never asked if I was okay,” you continue. “You were too busy being angry on Ghost’s behalf.”
“You almost got the both of you killed,” he argues.
“But you cared more about Ghost almost being hurt than the fact that I was,” you say. And dammit, you feel your sinuses burning, but your eyes stay blessedly dry. The anger disappears from his face all at once as realization sinks in. “I mattered to you less than Ghost.”
His hand tightens around his mug, knuckles blanching. “No. No, lass, tha’s no’… you were always… you survived.”
“I felt the worst I ever had in my life, but you didn’t care because I crossed the almighty Ghost,” you insist.
“I cared about you,” he denies.
“But not more than you did about Ghost.” You drag your gaze up to his. Even his eyes look a little wet now. “And that… that wasn’t enough for me.”
You suck in a shuddering breath, trying to loosen the tightness in your chest. Clear your throat once you feel the threatening prick of tears subside.
“I didn’t… it wasnae that,” he rasps. “I ken you think I’m full of shite, but ‘s true.”
You do think he’s full of shit. Maybe not on purpose, maybe he really does think he cared about you as much as Ghost, but you know better.
“I was just… so angry wi’ you,” he explains. “You could have died. Nearly got Simon killed, all because you thought you knew better.”
You exhale hard. “You’ve never made a bad call?” you challenge.
“It wasnae your call to make. You should have listened to Ghost. Instead, you—”
“I what?”
Your fingers tingle, numb. Can’t even feel the spoon, or the chill of the yogurt cup anymore.
“You disobeyed orders, it was so—”
“I didn’t.”
He stops. Stares. “What?”
You stare right back, “I didn’t disobey orders.”
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Utterly gone - Lewis Hamilton NSFW
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Can be read as part 2 to A smile like that but it's a piece on its own.
warnings: unprotected sexual activities, oral sex mainly.
Wrap it before you tap it.
wordcount: +3k
a/n: Wasn't gonna post this, but I think we could all use some soft smutty comfort after the shit show this race was.
a/n.2: Special mention to Lewis adjusting in front of the cameras in the quali press conference
As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!
EXPLICIT CONTENT UNDER, -18 DO NOT INTERACT
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The suite was quiet when I finally slipped inside, the faint hum of the almost rising city life seeping in from the balcony. I dropped my bag by the door and kicked off my heels, feeling every ounce of fatigue settle in.
Singapore always did that—drained you without mercy, and yet, it was beautiful enough to make you forgive it.
Lewis had beaten me back to the room, not that it had surprised after hearing he wouldn’t be making the media round.
Sure enough, I found him in the bathroom, leaning his weight on the counter, fresh out of the shower, a towel slung low around his waist.
His skin gleamed under the warm lights, and his face… tired was a understatement— he could probably sleep for a week straight.
Dark circles under his eyes, the slightest furrow to his brow, as he absentmindedly worked his moisturizer into his skin.
God, how was it possible for him to look so good after almost being dehydrated?
I should probably say something snarky. After all, I had asked for a win, and what did I get?
But I knew better in that moment and honestly watching him rub lotion into his skin with those deft, practiced hands—he was so gentle with himself, it was almost unfair how much I melted at the sight of it.
My eyes trailed down his back, appreciating the little flex of muscle every time his hands moved, before finally pushing off from the door and walking toward him.
The whole thing felt so domestic, so… normal. Like this was our routine after every race weekend. Like I wasn’t still getting used to seeing him like this—bare, unguarded, with no cameras or crowds around.
“Hey,” I greeted, leaning against the counter beside him, my hand brushing his skin. He glanced at me through the mirror, a tired smile tugging at his lips.
“Hey, love” he murmured, still focused on his task. I watched the way his fingers traced the lines of his jaw as he applied the cream, and a warmth spread through my chest.
“Not quite what we expected, was it?” I tried, still feeling the mood in the room, my eyes twinkling as I caught his gaze in the mirror.
He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Guess I owe you a win.”
I gave a mock frown, crossing my arms. “Yeah, you do. But, hey, at least you managed to sneak in that kiss before the race, so maybe I can forgive you.”
He turned to face me now, that infamous grin spreading slowly across his lips. “Couldn’t resist” he said, reaching out to pull me toward him, his arms wrapping around my waist. I let him, his body sinking into me while my body betrayed any pretense of annoyance.
I rolled my eyes. “You know I hate that. Not in front of all the cameras.”
He chuckled again, the sound low and rich, vibrating against my chest. “You liked it, though. Don’t lie.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I quipped, trying to ignore the way his fingers trailed up and down my spine. “But for the record, I also owe you.”
He breathed in almost sighting, leaning in closer, his breath brushing my ear. “I’m knackered, babe.”
I pushed him gently toward the bed, unable to hold back my grin. “Don’t worry, this reward doesn’t require you to lift a single finger.”
I brought the lotion from the counter. Lewis was sitting on the edge of the bed, his shoulders slouched, towel still hanging precariously low on his hips.
His eyes tracked my every movement as I made my way over, like he was too tired to speak but too intrigued not to watch.
I stood in front of him, letting the lotion warm in my hands before I gently placed them on his arms. His skin was still damp from the shower, and as I worked the lotion into his forearms, I could feel the exhaustion radiating off him. His muscles, taut and defined, finally relaxing under my touch.
“Thought you said this was my reward,” he muttered, a half-hearted attempt at a banter playing at his lips as he watched me. “Feels more like I’m getting spoiled.”
“Shh,” I said, quirking a brow at him. “Don’t ruin the moment, Hamilton.”
He chuckled softly, but he didn’t argue. Smart man.
I let my hands wander further, rubbing the lotion into his biceps, taking my time. He deserved it.
God knows how much strain he puts his body through during that race, and seeing him like this—vulnerable, letting me take care of him—made my heart do that stupid fluttering thing I still wasn’t used to.
As I moved to his shoulders, massaging the knots and tension out of his neck, he let out a low, contented hum, his head dropping forward just slightly.
“This alright?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer. It was in the way he was practically melting under my hands.
“Mmm,” was all he managed to get out, his eyes fluttering shut as I continued my work.
My hands moved to his chest, spreading the lotion across his smooth skin. His breath hitched, just for a second, as my fingers grazed his collarbone.
God, he was beautiful. I tried to keep my thoughts from spiraling, but it was hard not to admire every inch of him—the way his chest rose and fell beneath my touch, the warmth radiating off his skin.
By the time I got to his abs, his eyes were back on me, half-lidded but focused, watching my every move. I couldn’t help the grin that tugged at my lips.
“You really know how to spoil a man” he murmured, his voice husky.
I shrugged playfully. “I did promise you something, didn’t I?”
His gaze softened, and for a moment, we just stood there, me between his legs, him looking up at me like I was the only thing keeping him grounded.
And maybe I was. At least for that night anyway.
I cupped his face in my hands, my thumbs brushing over the light stubble on his jaw. His beard was a little more grown out than usual, and the roughness beneath my fingers made me smile at much we had grown used to each other.
“Whatever this is between us,” I started, my voice quieter now, my heart pounding harder than I cared to admit, “I’m ready for it, if you are.”
His breath caught in his throat, and for a second, I wondered if I’d said too much. But then he smiled—God, that smile—and it was all I needed.
He pulled me down to meet his lips, soft and slow at first, like he was savoring every second.
When we finally broke apart, there was a look in his eyes—something vulnerable, something real—and it made me laugh softly, because Lewis Hamilton, the man who could keep his cool under any amount of pressure, looked like he was trying to make sure he hadn’t just imagined this whole thing.
“You really are unbelievable” I teased, brushing my thumb over his bottom lip.
He gave me that lazy smile and pulled me closer, his voice low, almost reverent. “And you’re mine.”
And in that moment, I knew it was true.
As I knelt between his legs, my fingers trailing along his soft, warm skin, a single thought crossed my mind: How did I get here?
One minute, I was dodging his cheesy messages, and now the man was sitting there, half-asleep, eyes half-lidded, as vulnerable as I had seen him.
And me? I was utterly gone for him.
But, God, he looked so damn good. Even tired, fresh out of the shower, with his braids slightly damp and that towel sitting low on his hips. The way he sat, like he knew he had all the time in the world, like he could wait for me forever.
We were both worn out after the weekend, the clock read 5.a.m and the man had just lost around 3kgs in under two hours. Yet here I was, determined to give him the kind of reward he wouldn't forget.
Because, if I was being honest with myself, I wanted this as much as he did.
His breath hitched as I ran my hand down his abs, my fingers teasingly hovering near the edge of the towel. He shot me a look—half amused, half daring. His smirk was infuriatingly confident, even now.
I could tell he was fighting exhaustion, but there was no way he was going to let me out of this one.
“Don’t tempt me,” he murmured, low and sultry, as though I hadn’t already made up my mind.
I raised an eyebrow, my lips curling into a playful grin. "Oh, I’m not tempting." I let my fingers slip just under the edge of the towel. "I’m delivering."
Before he could get another word in, I tugged the towel loose. It fell open in his lap, and his throat pushed down a gulp as he realized exactly where this was heading.
His breath hitched when my fingers brushed lightly over his soft dick, and I couldn’t help but smirk. “What was that about ‘a heatstroke’ Hamilton?”
He chuckled softly, though it was a little strained, his eyes never leaving mine as I wrapped my hand around him, giving him a gentle squeeze. “Was told to not lift a muscle and be mindful of heavy activities”
“Mm-hmm, don’t worry I’ll take it from here”
As my hand wrapped around his soft dick, I could see the exact moment the cockiness melted off his face. His lips parted, and a shaky breath escaped him as I gave him a slow stroke, feeling him harden in my hand.
My inner voice was screaming with victory. That little smirk? Gone. Reduced to nothing but ragged breaths and soft moans.
I kissed along his length, starting slow, teasing. Because even though I wanted to give him exactly what he craved, I wasn’t about to let him off that easy.
His hips bucked just a little, his eyes fluttered shut for a moment and his lips parting slightly. All reminders of how much he needed this, needed me.
And honestly, I loved every second of it.
My lips grazed his tip, already glistening with pre-cum, and I flicked my tongue against him, tasting him for the first time tonight. The salty-sweetness on my tongue made me hum in satisfaction.
He groaned, his head tilting back as I took him into my mouth, inch by inch, my hand still stroking what my lips couldn’t reach. He was getting harder, thickening in my mouth, and when I peeked up at him, his eyes were half-closed, his face contorted in bliss.
“Fuck, love…” His voice was low and ragged, like he could barely string the words together.
Encouraged by the sound of his pleasure, I picked up the pace, sucking him deeper and harder, my free hand gently massaging his balls.
His breath hitched again, his hips involuntarily thrusting forward, pushing himself further into my throat.
I wasn’t just giving him head; I was savoring him, relishing every reaction he gave me. He wasn’t just a F1 champion right now—he was mine, completely undone by me, and that thought made me chuckle.
His fingers went to back of my neck, his fingers tugging at the soft skin, gently guiding my head as I bobbed up and down on him. His touch wasn’t rough, though—more like he was hanging on for dear life, trying not to lose control.
But I wanted him to lose control. I wanted to be the reason.
It wasn’t long before his body started to tense, his breath coming out in sharp gasps, his grip on my head tightening as I took him deeper, my lips wrapped tightly around his now fully engorged dick.
“Love, I’m—” His voice broke, a guttural moan escaping his lips as I felt his cock pulse in my mouth. And then, with one last thrust, he came.
His warm, slightly fruity-tasting seed spilled into my mouth, and I swallowed him down, feeling the tension leave his body in waves.
I stayed there for a moment, his dick still in my mouth, gently holding him as he came down from the high. When I finally released him, I couldn’t help but leave a soft kiss on the tip, smiling up at him.
For a moment, I just watched him, wondering how I could feel this good about someone else’s pleasure. But it was him. It was Lewis. The man who could make me smile just by walking into a room, the one who posted cheesy Instagram captions just to get a reaction out of me.
His chest was heaving, his head thrown back, and when he finally looked down at me, his expression was somewhere between disbelief and utter satisfaction.
“Jesus” he muttered, still catching his breath.
I wiped the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand before standing up and leaning in to kiss him softly. He kissed me back with lazy, contented strokes of his lips, tasting himself on me.
“You good there, champ?” I teased, brushing my hand on the skin of his thigh.
He let out a weak chuckle as I stood up, leaving Lewis in a blissful haze, he watched me with those half-lidded, dazed eyes, his lips still parted and a silly smile danced on his lips.
“Just need a quick shower,” I said, my voice lighter now, as I brushed a hand over his damp chest. His skin was warm under my fingers, still slick from the lotion, and for a second, I just wanted to crawl into bed with him right then and there.
Lewis chuckled softly, his hand slipping lazily over mine before letting it go. “Take your time, love. Not going anywhere.”
The playful edge in his voice was replaced by something softer, and it made my heart flip. He didn’t need to say it, but I could hear the unspoken words between us: I’m here to stay.
As I disappeared into the bathroom, I let the water run warm, and my mind wandered back to him, sitting there on the bed, probably still recovering.
It felt like the most natural thing in the world, this routine between us—like we’d been doing it for years instead of months.
Under the warm stream, I couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot. My mind couldn’t help but flicker back to yesterday, to that moment in the presser where the world had caught him, not-so-discreetly, adjusting himself in his fireproofs.
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. Not in a dirty way… okay, maybe a little dirty. But mostly, I couldn’t stop picturing his hands, the way his muscles tensed.
Like he’d hoped no one would notice. Like I hadn’t already memorized every detail about him, including that not-so-little part he was trying to rearrange.
I’d tried to play it cool, ignoring the way the image stuck with me since, but now that I’d just had him falling apart under my hands, it only made the memory that much more satisfying.
The teasing was fun, but the way he trusted me with parts of himself no one else saw—that was something else.
When I stepped out, towel wrapped around me, I found him exactly where I’d left him.
Only this time, he’d shifted to the middle of the bed, his head resting on the plush pillows, the towel from earlier discarded somewhere, and the duvet pulled over his waist.
He looked so at peace, the kind of peace you only find after you've completely let go. His eyes fluttered open as I crossed the room.
“You know,” I said, sliding into bed beside him, “I wasn’t planning on making you that blissed out.”
He chuckled, his hand immediately finding my waist, pulling me closer. “Didn’t hear any complaints from me.”
I laughed softly, snuggling up to him as his arm wrapped securely around me. My hand found its place on his chest, where I began tracing lazy circles against his skin, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breaths beneath my fingertips.
It was quiet for a moment, the kind of comfortable silence where nothing needed to be said.
The world outside didn’t matter. The race result didn’t matter.
It was just us, tangled together in a king-sized bed, far away from the noise of the race, the cameras, the expectations. It felt like we were in our own little bubble, and I didn’t want it to pop.
As his head found its way to my lap, his hair tickling my thighs, I continued my absent-minded tracing on his skin, enjoying the closeness.
His body started to relax even more, sinking into me like he was using me as a pillow.
And then, just when I thought he’d drift off completely, he murmured, his voice thick with sleep, “That was better than a podium.”
I blinked, momentarily confused. “Wait… the head?”
He let out a soft chuckle, his lips curling into a sleepy smile. “Nah, love. Having you here… as mine. That’s what’s better.”
My breath hitched, and for a second, I wasn’t sure how to respond.
My heart did that stupid thing where it felt too big for my chest, and all I could do was smile like an idiot.
The man could win championships, sure. But moments like this? When it was just us, no pretense, no show—this is where he truly wins me over.
I looked down at him, his eyes closed already, lashes brushing his cheeks, and I brushed a soft kiss to his forehead.
“Mhm…” he muttered, already half-asleep. “Love you too.”
And just like that, I was a goner. The words weren’t even fully processed in my mind, but my heart knew.
It always had.
I didn’t even need to say them back. Not yet. He knew. And he’d wait, just like he always did.
As he drifted off, his breathing slow and even, I felt a warmth settle in my chest. I could’ve sworn he was smiling, even in his sleep.
And yeah, maybe I had fallen hard for him, but if this was what it felt like? I wasn’t in any rush to stop.
______________________________________________________________
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robinsfilm · 2 days
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OH, TAKE ME BACK (TO THE NIGHT WE MET)
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PAIRING: jason todd ✗ gn!reader ;
SYNOPSIS: the promise between the two of you never broke, not on that roof as children, not even now.
ANON ASKED: " Reader meets/is with Jay after he becomes Red Hood. After finding out that he used to be Robin, she recalls an interaction she had years ago with the Boy Wonder, unaware that they would paths again years later. " ;
WORD COUNT: 0.8k ;
NOTES: i like this one, i truly do, writing angst is a whole different experience. this is angst/comfort though, because i'm not evil (because i can't handle it). cross posted on my AO3.
♯ MASTERLIST ; NAVIGATION.
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THE NIGHT SKY OF GOTHAM HOLDS NO STARS TO COMFORT YOU. No stars to shed the soft and guiding light on you as you sit on the steep edge of the roof. Small feet dange from the brink as a heavy feeling settles in your heart, spreading like an infection, all-consuming in your body.
The tears falling from your eyes onto your cheeks go unnoticed by you, even as they drop onto your wobbly and scarred knees. They burn.
You wish the sky did not look somber and dim tonight. The cold air bites at any exposed flesh, even crawling its way into your clothes. Any semblance of comfort had been stripped from your hands; no amount of clawing and hanging on mattered. You were alone, on an abandoned roof, overlooking Gotham in all her melancholic glory.
Only the sounds of cars passing and the distant murmur of people filled your ears until a shuffle behind you caught your attention.
Turning your head, you tried to focus your gaze on the person—the kid behind you.
He seemed to be around your age, with messy hair, cheeks red, and chests rising. The red and green of his suit standing out next to the washed-out color of our surroundings. But the golden ‘R’ engraved above where his heart should be leaves no chance for you to mistake who the boy in front of you is.
The Robin.
Robin stands here with you. He opens his mouth to speak, although hesitantly, “You’re not going to jump, are you?”
You stare at him for a moment, taking every detail of him in: his jet black hair—a mess of ink on top of his head—his slightly tan skin; he has a hand out, reaching out to you; you can feel his eyes taking in your state.
“You’re not very good at this.” You mumble as you shuffle away from the edge, “I’m not going to jump, bird boy.”
He straightens up, his spine going stiff. You think you're imagining the pink hue on his cheeks.
He pouts, “It’s Robin, actually.”
He takes a single step closer to you, as if asking if it's okay. When you don't decline, he settles down next to you, his yellow cape grazing your hand.
“You should get that cleaned,” he motions to your scarred knees.
“I will.” You answer with pensiveness in your detached voice.
He considers something for a moment before moving next to you. He takes your hand in his. He feels warm, you note.
“C’mon. I’ll help you.” He speaks as he pulls you away from the edge, away from the somber and dim sky, the biting cold air.
He glances back at you. When he sees the unconvinced look in your eyes, his jaw tightens. “I swear.”
“You’re not going to fly away somewhere else, bird boy?”
“I’m staying here.” With you.
His stare doesn't leave your gaze, just as his hand doesn't waver in its hold of yours. You don't pull away; you don't push him away.
You hold onto his hand, letting him guide you instead of the stars of the dim sky.
Strange, you note; your heart doesn't feel so heavy anymore.
*****
The mellow air spreads through the shared apartment of you and Jason as it wraps you in its warm hold. The dim night sky is lit by only the moon and a single star following the crescent moving through the coal-black sky.
Jason settles his head on your chest, bringing his ear to your chest, feeling your heartbeat. It flows through his body as a solace, bringing him comfort.
When you recall the interaction with the young Robin, he could see the bittersweet memory in your wistful eyes. Your saudade voice rings out in his mind over and over again.
He remembers an icy cold night, so unlike this one in your arms. He remembers the biting air, the starless sky, how even the moon decided to abandon Gotham City that day, how it left its people alone.
How it left you on that roof.
He remembers approaching you, seeing the way you curled into yourself, the way you hid from the word that night.
He remembers taking your freezing hand in his, clutching it in his hold as a feeble attempt to warm them.
He remembers how unsure you looked and how you were already getting ready for the chance for him to let go and leave you alone on that roof. The hesitant shaking of your hand in his leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.
He remembers the moment of trust appearing—the moment when you let him tend to you. Two confused children on a cold Gotham night, looking for warmth wherever they found it.
Jason wraps his arms around you tighter, tangling his lips around yours as one. You return his hold, arms wrapping around his neck, burying yourself in the safety of him, wherefore the word ceases.
“I’m not leaving, not again.” He mumbles in the crook of your neck. You're thankful he can't see you right now.
The tears you shed for him, he already knows.
“You swear?”
“I swear.”
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© ROBINSFILM ﹕ I do not give consent for my writing to be posted or used on any other platforms without my permission and proper credit.
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mamirhodessxox · 2 days
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Okay hear me out.....
After Cody's titties injury he needed physical therapy, right? Right?
So......
Physical therapy intern who just finished school and started the real world experience is assigned to assist the Doctor who's helping Cody and this said Doctor often lets her do all the work so she can learn.....
She ends up bonding with him and maybe catching feelings and then you decided what to do.....i just wanted to spring the idea by you.🤭🫢🫣🫣
By the Beach
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Cody Rhodes x Phsyical Therapy Intern Female!OC
(Alicia Sanchèz)
Desc: Cody had been in a recent injury within his pec but he refuses to tap out of his Hell in a Cell match so he does whatever Phsyical therapy he can do to be able to get medically cleared enough to participate in his match with the help of the new doctors assistant who’s learning a lot within the medical field
Contents: soft Dom & sub duo, Drinking, foul language, fluff, controversial relationship (Cody is 36 & Alicia is 23) pectoral injury, smut, praise kink, crybaby!oc, p in v action, brief cockwarming, public/beach sex (private property) That’s all for now.
🏷️ list: @alyyaanna @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @mini-rollins @southerngirl41 @harmshake @femdisa @kabloswrld @claymoresofinfamy23 @bones-rhodes @cococodysleevlesshoodie @edtomh @actuallydrew
Since I’m back from my break of writing it’s only in good taste that I return with one of my favorite request concepts sent by the amazing @alyyaanna
{~I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) likes and comments are strongly appreciated so please COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMEENNTTT the more comments the more content <3!!!~}
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Alicia had recently finished med school to work in the Phsyical Training medical field but for her to do that she needed training herself! So she was assigned to Dr. Stevens to be an assistant & also learn along the way, but when he mentioned she would be taking the reigns for this she didn’t expect the whole shabang.
She sat in her apartment just before heading out into the Georgia heat during the very end of may, Alicia did a once over in her uniform and quickly put her dark red hair into a short pony tail “I can just fix it later.” She mumbled in a quick tone before turning over to her newly adopted LeonBerger puppy & smiled down at her fluffy companion “I’m sorry daisy but this one you can’t come too.” She pat the pups head gently and grabbed her bag before she officially headed out.
The entire drive to the doctors office she’d be assisting/training at was miserable, humid & hot, Dr Stevens was on the phone for the first half of the drive to do a run over with her “This is a regular patient of mine, he’s gotten into a recent injury within his pec & we’re going to be focusing on physical therapy for him so far, surgery has been in the talks but after his big event, I’m gonna let you learn for a little bit and I’ll let you take over in the other half clear?” Alicia furrowed her facial expression within the heat before pulling into the parking lot “You got it Stevens. I won’t let you down I promise.” The call ended as she was getting out of the car & pranced her way into the office & was met with Dr. Stevens
“It’s nice to meet you in person Ms. Sanchèz, follow me the room please.” She smiled politely and shook his hand before making their way into the examination room & being faced with a blonde male “Mr Rhodes it’s good to see you again, I hope you don’t mind but my trainee will be helping me assist you through your check-ups & all of that good stuff how does that sound.” The man smiled kindly & looked over in her direction, Alicia smiled bad politely before shaking his hand “Alicia, Nice to meet you.” He nodded and shook her hand back “Nice to meet you Alicia, I’m Cody.” The young girl smiled politely before taking a seat in the corner of the room to observe the severity of his injury.
“It’s nice to meet you Mr Rhodes, may I ask how you injured your pec?” Alicia questioned as Dr. Stevens handed her a clipboard and pen for her to jot down information, Cody cleared his throat awkwardly & nodded “I was working out in a gym & I kinda didn’t really stretch or prepare for anything since I assumed I could just get started right off the bat & I ended up tearing up my pec when I tried doing a bench press. It felt like velcro a little bit but it hurt like hell.” He explained while Dr Stevens had him take off his shirt to examine the injury but once Alicia laid her eyes on the purple, red, slight green & yellow bruising her eyes went a little wide “Oh my god?” Cody nodded his head and winced a little bit when Stevens had checked his blood pressure before coming down to the final decisions “Well, luckily you had stopped whatever it was you were doing before it could get any worse, surgery is recommended but depending on how well you do in Physical therapy you could get off from it for a little bit until after your next match, but there is still going to be hell of a lot pain.”
Cody nodded in an understanding form while focusing more on the young girl who stood in front of him thinking over what training would be best for him so far, Dr Stevens eventually set his clipboard next to Alicia “I’m gonna leave you to it, you’re smart so I trust you enough with him, be careful alright?” She smiled politely and nodded “Of course, He’s in good hands.” He eventually walked out of the room leaving the two in silence while she went over her & Stevens notes before smiling up at Cody “So for the first week I’m gonna have you practice some of this physical therapy at home with mini weights specifically on the arm where your pec injury is, I’m gonna give you this Thera-band too work on and I’ll see you in a week from now to see how your doing how’s that sound?” Cody grinned at her words while putting her shirt on “sounds good to me doll, and uhm…is there a way I could get your number? Y’know incase there’s an emergency and I may need your help if I can’t reach Dr. Stevens.”
Alicia smiled at him politely & nodded her head “Of course, I’ll write it down for you on a piece of paper before you head out alright?” He agreed on her offer as he grabbed the keys to his car from his back pocket & left happily within minutes knowing he got her number at the end of the appointment.
For weeks on end Cody & Alicia would talk over the phone while he did his assigned training on his arm, she gave him check ups and saw that he was getting better but noticed he would lie about his pain tolerance every now and then, it was a week before his match & they were both heading out of the doctors office when the millionth appointment had ended between the two, Cody stood in-front of his truck for a little bit while he gained the courage to ask her a question “Hey um- if you don’t have anything going on after this, I was planning on going paddle boarding for a bit at the beach, you can tag along if you want it’s right in-front of my house & I can send you the address”
Alicia’s lips curled into a smile before leaning into her car “are you asking me out to a date?” He laughed at her words & shrugged his shoulders “Maybe, maybe not, but I have a thought that you’re not gonna say no so..I’ll text you the address.” She winked in his direction before getting in her car & driving off to her apartment where she would be packing a small beach bag she wore a swimsuit under her sundress before crouching down to her pups level “you gonna be good daisy?” She hyped up the puppy as Daisy barked playfully and tugged on the hems of her dress with her teeth trying to play “not right now baby, I gotta go!” She picked up her pup & setting her back in her little bed before going back down to the car as Alicia pulled up the address & began heading towards that direction of town.
Cody sat on his porch inflating the two paddle boards & carrying out the cooler towards the beach since it was quite literally in front of his home until he heard tires slowly push against the gravel before realizing it was Alice, She got out of the car snatching off her sunglasses before prancing in his direction “I hope you don’t mind but I brought some drinks, wine? Alice held up her bag showing the bottle that peeked out of her bag a bit “anything you bring is as welcomed here as you are. The beach is literally down there why don’t you go ahead and wait for me?” He pat her lower back as Alicia smiled and walked down towards their hang out spot near the water while he continued pumping air into the boards.
After a solid few minutes he carried them both down & finally sat next to her “what do you think so far?” He questioned before pouring a glass of wine into the two clear cups he brought down with him and gave her one “The sunsets nice, i bet the water is relaxing.” He smiled at her opinions & took a sip of his wine “Glad you think so, c’mon why don’t I get out on one of those boards?” She laughed to herself as she shook her head “Oh god no, I wouldn’t be able to do it by myself.” Cody chuckled as he grabbed her hand and taking her to the paddle boards making Alicia sigh out and take off her sundress to fully be in her swimsuit. “I’ll even stay on one with you alright? I got you.” He chuckled as she hesitantly sat on the board in front of him before he made her learn how to use the paddle sticks. She sat crisscrossed in her swimsuit while his hands rested subtly around the curvature of her waist “you’re doing great for your first time.” She smiled as she dipped the stick back & forth into the water of the lake “yeah?” He nodded and rested his chin against her shoulder before making her set down the paddle stick & turning her head to look at him “Hi.” She mumbled while he admired her beauty & carefully turning her around to completely face him “Hi.” He repeated her words in a short mumble before locking his lips against her pink plush ones & holding onto him, she sighed into the kiss before slipping her tongue past his lips while her hands tugged on his hair a little bit before pulling away and paddling their way back to the sand.
For the remainder of the night they both sat on shore staring a towel & a bottle of wine “Can i tell you something?” Cody asked while handing the bottle over to Alicia “I don’t see why not” she smiled as he took a deep breath “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen Ali, I mean it, I’m so fucking in love with you.” He stared at her nervously before he processed the fact her hands were already up to his face as she inched closer, the moment was so sweet & intimate, two people who’ve craved each other since the day they met. Cody wrapped his arms around her before rolling her onto her back against towels that laid above the sand “Cody..” Alicia whined softly as her nails dug into his hair as his hand reached inbetween her thighs & laid flat against her bikini bottoms while resting his head against hers taking many breaths, her hands ran up the sides of his torso while her head was already nodding “I need you so bad Cody..” she whispered out while he smiled & untied her bikini top before taking her breasts into his hands while grinding himself against her “so damn perfect…” he breathed out as she bit his lip gently.
Cody was usually the type of guy. too at least tease a woman before giving her what she wants, but he was too impatient for Alicia, it was a craving, a need, and he knew she felt the same about him, the pair just needed each other to be as close as can be, connected like two peas in a pod. All he wanted was her & all she wanted was him. So it was no surprise that once the two were undressed & Cody eased himself inside of her he was a mess, her nails digging into his back while he nuzzled her face into the crook of her neck, he was completely bottomed out in between her legs, being inside of her was like a spell being casted upon him.
His thrusts were slow, gentle, each time he pressed his hips right up against Alicia’s she’d let out a soft cry & roll her head back as she became a moaning mess herself. The tip of his cock basically kissing her sweet spot & causing her legs to spasm around Cody’s waist “I got you baby..t-taking me so fucking good.” He moaned into her ear as his hand slipped in between their bodies allowing his thumb to toy with her clit as she scratched up his arms “fa-ahh-faster baby p-please” Alicia begged with a tear drop as big as a pearl rolling down her cheek before Cody made her pleas come true as he started drilling his cock in & out of her her mouth locked with his while he swiped his tongue over her lips & groaning lowly “taking me so fucking good baby o-oh my god.” He held the side of her face in his hand, even though he was a bit occupied with fucking her absolute brains out his need for her became irresistible, he admired every detail on her body & face, the way her eyebrows furrowed with each moan, her eyes either shut from pure overstimulation or rolled back, the way her hair was laid perfectly out on the towel, her nails running across his skin, the way she cried out anytime he was barely pulled away from her, He adored her, he would get down on his knees & kiss the very ground she stepped on if he could right now, his chest pressed against hers as she’d cling to him like a koala. Tears streamed down her face for a whole other reason than pleasure & he could sense it hence him putting any movement to a stop while he held her close.
“What’s the matter sweetheart? Talk to me beautiful” he breathed out while sitting up & pulling her onto his lap about to pull out until she stopped him & cockwarmed him instead “j-just need you closer to me..” Alicia whimpered and ground herself against him tearing up causing Cody to smile sweetly and kiss away any of her tears “Baby I’m as close to you as I can be, why don’t we take a breather really quick okay? You’re all worked up sweet girl.” He assured her in an amused expression while his hands explored her hair, who knew she was this emotional when it came to intimacy.
Alicia clung too him as she kept her face rested onto his shoulder while he scattered kisses all over her neck & shoulders completely devoting himself to her. He readjusted their current sitting position until he let out a slight moan & rolled his head back completely forgetting that he was deep inside of her. Cody gave up being patient & rolled her over onto her stomach against the towels that laid beneath them before pulling her hips upwards while trailing kisses up & down her back, his hand dipped back in between her thighs as he kept toying around with her clit before carefully easing himself back inside of her pussy & thrusting into her at a steady pace “fff-fucckk baby!” Alicia cried out & held onto his wrist that rested against the flesh of her thigh “c’mon beautiful I know, I know y’just feel so fucking good right now don’t you gorgeous” he mumbled words into her ears that he knew would drive her insane at the moment as she nodded vigorously
“g-gonna cum- Cody- fuck!” He chuckled as her mouth spewed a bunch of babbles & whines as her brain completely became foggy & fucked out, despite being outside the air felt thick & hot even when the subset was at it’s lowest, Alicia was all flushed & disheveled as much as Cody was, her hands clutching onto either the towels or grabbing at him as he fucked her from behind, his & hers breath hitching with want & desire, Cody buried himself inside of her as deep as he possibly could while his hands greedily groped at her ass while dipping himself down & pressing his chest against her back, Alicia lifting her head up & looking back at him “Y-You’re so perfect” he moaned against her shoulder tiredly before gently tugging on her hair “Cum with me, please baby I’m begging you” she cried out for him & felt his head nod with approval while his hips rolled into her ass as the pair came together, Cody not pulling out by accident but once he did & laid down breathing heavily while she rested beside him, the silence was thick, neither of them knew what to say, until of course Alicia grew the courage to say something “I’m uh- I’m on the pill by the way..” Cody chuckled tiredly before sitting up & putting his clothes back on before getting her cleaned up & at least back into her sundress “Good to know beautiful.” Alicia smiled over at him & stared at his still bruised pec injury, he was insufferable when it came to this injury, “Are you still doing it?” She questioned while he looked away from the stars & the night sky “I’m dedicated too this sweetheart, it just scratches my brain the right way knowing that I could still have a chance of winning & knowing that this thing” he pointed at his bruised chest “isn’t going too hold me back from anything.” She smiled at his dedication & nodded her head before pulling him into a kiss
They weren’t fully aware of what to do from now on after this night but they did know they were willing to make something more bloom out of it, Cody fully believed that Alicia was meant to be the love of his life for many reasons, she was scared of committing to something that was so foreign too her after years but she saw his willingness to make her finally his & that was all that mattered, whether they liked it or not they were still connected & damn close to being tethered to each other.
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manirhidessxox’s Masterlist
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restinslices · 1 day
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Hello, I saw the publication, idea of MK1 characters with a combat medical reader, and I was wondering if you could do it. With the Lin Kuei brothers and if possible Harumi 😔☝🏻
Sorry for the bad English, it's not my mother tongue
L.N
Hey pookie. Ngl, I was having trouble making all of them different so imma pick one brother to do and if you want the rest, you can request again. Maybe spacing them out will let my brain marinate and actually work lol. Also I don't know anything about Harumi. I won't even lie to you-. Also your English is legit perfect.
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I imagine that he'd meet combat medic reader at a young age
You're apart of the Lin Kuei, so he meets you when he's "adopted"
You still fight and all that jazz but you're also being trained in healing
He was adopted after his family was killed so um, yeah, he's a bit shook up and nervous
He doesn't know how he feels. He just stays in his room. He absolutely hates how everyone stares at him. He feels like he's being watched all the time
You're good friends with Bi-Han and Kuai Liang, so you're used to spending time with them at their place
I can see the first interaction being something simple. Like, his new dad (who is the Grandmaster of the clan that murdered his family) (I just CANNOT get over this shit) asks you to get him for dinner
You peek your head in his room to tell him dinner is ready. That's it. That's all.
He doesn't know who you are and honestly he has no intentions on finding out
But then over time he starts actually training, and that comes with injuries. He gets a real fucked up shoulder and is sent to your area
He's quiet the whole time for multiple reasons; he doesn't know you fr, he's still not sure about this clan, and he's watching you work your healer magic
You try to make smalltalk but he's kinda in and out of this world. Keeps zoning out. You can understand why though. Everyone knows what happened to his family
That's how your relationship is for awhile. He comes to get healed, then he leaves without really talking
Things change though when you're sent to get him for dinner again and you walk in on him crying
You're not an asshole, so you close the door behind you and sit by him
Neither of you talk. After some time you leave then come back with two plates of food
"I lied and said you were sick. Also asked if I could give you company" "Why'd you do that?" "I didn't want you to be alone in here" "Oh... thank you. Seriously" "It's all good man. You uh, wanna talk about something?
That's when the friendship truly starts. That act of kindness really sticks with him and now he truly thinks you're a good person to be around
He comes to you when he gets seriously fucked up in training or on actual missions. Sometimes he just chills out in your area and you two chat while you work on healing someone
I could see him take an interest in anatomy and shit after seeing what you do
I just see y'all vibing in your little healing hut a lot
I do think going on missions would be funny though-
"I gotta pop your shoulder back in place!" "You can't magically heal it?!" "Not this time!" "Hurry up then!" *pop* "DAMN!
"Do you get injured on purpose more when I'm here?" "I'm doing my best here"
As for when you start dating, honestly I don't see you dynamic changing much
A relationship with Tomas is like being friends but y'all hold hands occasionally
Oh and obviously you join the new clan (I am not googling how to spell that rn)
Gotta give y'all a happy ending sometimes
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deans-queen · 1 day
Text
Repairing Hearts 👷🏻‍♂️❤️‍🩹
New Mini Series
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader (Y/N)
Summary: Reader (Y/N) is a single mom, struggling to fix her leaky roof. She posts an ad on social media desperate for help. When local repairman, Jensen Ackles offers to help, the two grow an unexpected connection that grows.
Warnings: SMUT (p in v, wrap it up kids), other mature themes, mild language, emotional topics. (If there is any that I missed please let me know) I will label the warnings in each part!
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Part 5: Reader’s POV
Warnings: language, arguing/angst, light smut, and fluff.
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The air was crisp, with a soft breeze carrying the scent of freshly popped popcorn and cotton candy as we made our way through the zoo. Aria skipped ahead, her excitement practically radiating off her in waves as she tugged at Jensen’s hand, pulling him toward the direction of the elephant exhibit.
“Come on, come on!” she squealed, her little voice filled with pure joy. “I want to see the elephants first!”
Jensen grinned down at her, letting her lead the way. “Alright, princess. Elephants it is,” he said, his tone playful as he glanced back at me with that familiar warmth in his eyes. It still took me by surprise sometimes—how naturally he fit into our lives, how easily he had bonded with Aria.
We had spent the whole week planning this trip to the zoo, and Aria had barely contained her excitement the night before, chattering on and on about the elephants. They had always been her favorite. She loved their big ears, their gentle eyes, and the way they moved so slowly and gracefully despite their size.
When we finally reached the elephant exhibit, Aria pressed her face against the railing, her eyes wide as she stared at the giant creatures.
“Look, Mommy! They’re so big!” she exclaimed, pointing at the elephants as they slowly lumbered across the enclosure.
I smiled, leaning down next to her. “They are, baby. Aren’t they beautiful?”
Jensen knelt down beside her, his hand resting gently on her back. “Did you know elephants are one of the smartest animals in the world?”
Aria’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Really?”
“Really,” he said, nodding. “They can remember things for years, and they even have their own way of talking to each other.”
I watched them interact, my heart swelling with affection. Aria hung on Jensen’s every word, soaking in everything he said as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world. And the way he looked at her—with such patience, such care—it made my chest ache in the best way possible. He even bought her a stuffed animal elephant that she’s going to love and cherish forever.
The day passed in a blur of laughter and excitement. We explored every corner of the zoo, from the giraffes to the penguins to the big cats, and Aria loved every second of it. Jensen carried her on his shoulders when her little legs got tired, and I couldn’t stop smiling, watching the two of them together. It felt so easy, so right—like we were already a family.
As the sun started to dip low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the zoo, we decided to head home. Aria had fallen asleep in the back seat before we even left the parking lot, exhausted from the excitement of the day. I glanced at Jensen, his hands resting on the steering wheel as he drove, his eyes soft as he watched the road.
“Thank you,” I said quietly, reaching over to rest my hand on his arm. “For today. It meant so much to her.”
Jensen smiled, his hand covering mine, squeezing gently. “It meant a lot to me too, Y/N. I love spending time with you both.”
I smiled back, feeling the warmth of his words settle into my heart. “We love spending time with you too.”
When we got home, I tucked Aria into bed making sure she had her stuffed animal Elephant close to her, which she decided to call him “Dumbo” from the Disney movie. Jensen and I were sitting on the couch, basking in the glow of the perfect day, laughing about Aria’s excitement over the elephants and how she had tried to convince Jensen to adopt one as a pet.
But then we heard a knock at the door — wondering who it could be at this hour. And to my dismay, standing at the front door, leaning against the frame with a scowl on his face, was Aria’s dad. I hadn’t seen him in months—hadn’t heard from him since the day he decided being a father was too much responsibility for him. And now, here he was, showing up unannounced like he had any right to be here.
I felt my stomach twist with a mix of anxiety and anger as I looked at him. Jensen’s eyes were immediately on me, his expression hardening when he followed my gaze and saw who was waiting for us.
“Y/N,” my ex said, his voice dripping with annoyance. “We need to talk.”
I straightened my back, trying to keep my voice calm. “What are you doing here?”
He shrugged, pushing off the doorframe. “I figured it was time I saw my daughter. I’ve got rights, you know.”
My jaw clenched. The audacity of him showing up here after all this time—after abandoning Aria and me—was almost too much to handle. “You don’t get to just show up out of nowhere, acting like you care.”
He rolled his eyes, stepping closer, and I could see the anger in his expression. “Don’t act like I’m the bad guy, Tianna. You kept me out of her life.”
“YOU abandoned me when I got pregnant! And now all of sudden that’s my fault that you’re not part of her life!?” I say, frustration and anger in my voice. I couldn’t believe the bullshit that was coming out of his mouth.
I could feel the tension building, my chest tightening with the familiar hurt and frustration that always seemed to follow him. But before I could say anything else, Jensen stepped forward, placing himself between me and my ex. His presence was solid, protective, and the look in his eyes was cold as steel.
“That’s enough,” Jensen said, his voice calm but dangerous. “You’ve got no right to talk to her like that.”
My ex narrowed his eyes, clearly irritated by Jensen’s presence. “Who the hell are you?” he snapped, looking Jensen up and down like he was sizing him up.
Jensen didn’t back down. “I’m the one who’s been here for Y/N and Aria while you’ve been off doing whatever the hell you’ve been doing. You want to talk? You do it with respect.”
My ex let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Respect? You’re just some random guy she’s messing around with.”
Jensen’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t rise to the bait. Instead, he took a step closer, his voice dropping low. “I’m the man who’s taking care of your daughter and the woman you walked out on. So, unless you’ve got something useful to say, I suggest you leave.”
There was a beat of silence, tension crackling in the air. My ex stared at Jensen, clearly trying to decide if he wanted to push the issue, but something in the way Jensen stood—calm, steady, unflinching—made him think twice. With a scoff, he turned his back on us, muttering under his breath as he walked away.
I stood there, my heart racing, watching as he disappeared into the night. It wasn’t until he was completely out of sight that I let out the breath I’d been holding.
Jensen turned to me, his eyes softening as he took my hand. “You okay?”
I nodded, feeling a wave of relief wash over me. “Yeah... I just can’t believe he showed up like that.”
Jensen pulled me into his arms, holding me tight. “He won’t bother you again, sweetheart. I’ll make sure of it.”
I melted into his embrace, feeling safe in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. “Thank you,” I whispered against his chest, my voice shaky with emotion.
Jensen kissed the top of my head, his hand stroking my back. “You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart. I’m here for you. For both of you.”
Later that night, I stood by the window, staring out at the street, still shaken from earlier. My ex’s sudden appearance had dredged up so many emotions—anger, hurt, fear. Even though he was gone, the memory of his harsh words lingered like a dark cloud over the perfect day we had spent at the zoo.
I hated that he had this power over me, even now. I hated that he could show up and stir up all that hurt after being absent for so long. He had no right to disrupt our lives like this, especially not after everything I had built with Aria on my own. And now, with Jensen in the picture, things were different. We were different.
I felt strong, but in moments like this, that strength wavered.
“Hey,” Jensen’s voice was soft as he walked up behind me, his arms slipping around my waist. I leaned back against him, closing my eyes and letting the warmth of his body calm the storm inside me. “You’ve been quiet since he left.”
I sighed, my heart heavy. “I just can’t stop thinking about him—how he thinks he can just show up and disrupt everything. It’s like he thinks he has some right to Aria, when he’s never been there for her. Or for me.”
Jensen turned me around to face him, his eyes filled with understanding. “I get it, babe. He walked away when you needed him the most, and now he wants to pretend he’s entitled to something. But he’s not. He doesn’t get to just come in and make demands.”
I looked up into his eyes, grateful for the reassurance, but still, a part of me couldn’t shake the fear. “What if he tries to come back again? What if he causes trouble? I don’t want Aria to be hurt by him.”
Jensen’s expression hardened, his jaw tightening. “He won’t, I promise you that. I won’t let him near you or Aria. He had his chance, and he blew it. I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”
The intensity in his voice sent a wave of comfort through me. I believed him. I always did. Jensen wasn’t just saying those words—he meant them. Every touch, every look, every moment we’d shared had proven that he wasn’t going to leave. Not like my ex had.
I reached up, brushing my fingers along his jaw, feeling the stubble beneath my touch. “I’m so glad you’re here,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion.
Jensen leaned down, his lips brushing against mine. The kiss started soft, but there was something deeper there—something more urgent. His hands tightened around my waist, pulling me closer, and I felt that familiar spark ignite between us.
“You have no idea how much love you, Y/N,” he murmured against my lips, his breath warm as his hands slid up my sides, teasing the edge of my shirt. “Every time I look at you, I fall harder.”
My heart raced, the weight of his words sinking in as his mouth moved to my neck, leaving a trail of heated kisses down to my collarbone. His touch was intoxicating, making me forget everything but him—forget the pain, forget the fear.
“I love you too,” I breathed, my fingers tangling in his hair as I pressed my body against his. “Jensen…”
He lifted me easily, my legs wrapping around his waist as he carried me toward the bedroom, his lips never leaving mine. The air between us was charged with that electric pull, that undeniable need that had been building since the moment we met.
Once inside the room, he laid me down on the bed, his body hovering over mine as his gaze locked onto me with a fierce intensity. “You’re mine, baby. All of you. I’m never letting you go.”
I shivered at the possessiveness in his voice, feeling the heat in my core build as his hands slid down my body, tugging at the hem of my shirt before pulling it over my head. “I don’t want you to,” I whispered, my breath catching as he kissed me again, deeper this time.
Every kiss, every touch was filled with that unspoken promise—that no matter what happened, Jensen was here to stay. And as his hands roamed my body, exploring every inch of me with a burning desire, I knew that he was right. We were building something real, something lasting, and no one—especially not my ex—could take that away from us.
Jensen’s POV
Watching Y/N underneath me, her lips swollen from our kisses, her breath coming in soft, ragged gasps, I knew there was no turning back. I’d never felt anything like this before—this all-consuming need to be with someone, to protect them, to make sure they knew just how much they meant to me.
She looked up at me, her eyes dark and full of trust, and it hit me right then and there—I didn’t want to spend another day without her. I wanted to be the man she and Aria could rely on for the rest of their lives.
“Y/N,” I murmured, my hands sliding down to her hips as I kissed her again, slower this time, savoring the way her body responded to mine. “There’s something I’ve been thinking about.”
Her eyes fluttered open, her breath catching as she looked up at me. “What is it?”
I paused for a moment, feeling the weight of the moment settle in my chest. I’d never done this before, but with her, it felt right. Hell, it felt like the only thing that made sense.
I sat up, pulling her with me until we were both sitting on the edge of the bed. Her shirt was gone, and her hair was a mess, but she looked so damn beautiful, it took my breath away. I reached into the pocket of my jeans, my heart pounding in my chest as I pulled out the small box I’d been carrying around for days, waiting for the right moment.
“This,” I said softly, holding up the box, “is what I’ve been thinking about.”
Y/N’s eyes widened, her hand flying to her mouth as she stared at the box in my hand. “Jensen…”
I opened it, revealing the simple yet elegant ring inside. “I know it’s fast. I know we haven’t been together for that long, but I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. You and Aria… you’re everything to me. I want to be here for you, every day, for the rest of our lives.”
Tears filled her eyes as she looked from the ring to me, her lips trembling. “Jensen…”
“I love you, Y/N. I love Aria. I want to build a life with you, and I’m asking you to marry me. To let me be the man who takes care of you, who protects you, and who loves you for the rest of my life.”
For a moment, she was silent, her hand still covering her mouth as tears streamed down her cheeks. My heart raced, waiting for her answer, but the look in her eyes told me everything I needed to know.
“Yes,” she whispered, her voice breaking as she smiled through the tears. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Relief and joy surged through me as I slipped the ring onto her finger, pulling her into my arms. I kissed her deeply, pouring every ounce of love I had into that kiss, knowing that from this moment on, everything was about to change.
She was mine, and I was hers. Forever.
Reader’s POV
And in that moment, I knew without a doubt that he meant every word. Jensen wasn’t just part of my life—he was part of our family, and nothing, not even Aria’s dad, could change that.
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Authors Note:
Hope you enjoyed this part because I certainly enjoyed writing it! The way Jensen stepped in to protect her from Aria’s dead beat dad like 🥵Y’all they’re gonna get married!!! 🥰🥹😭😭 Let me know if you want me to write the wedding/honeymoon part! 🫶🏻
Feel free to let me know what you think! I always love reading feedback!
Like & follow for more !! Xoxo
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skachacharealsmooth · 2 years
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I know classic sonic can talk but going w the train of thought that he just doesn’t talk much/talks rarely in the classic era is just so funny bcs imagine one day Dr eggman is like “heeeheehoohoohaha sonic I finally have u now I can eliminate u and you’ll never be a thorn in my side ever again blah blah blah blah” it literally goes on forever and then sonic is so fed up a bored and he’s like “okay can we just skip to the part where I beat your ass” and eggman is just standing there like :0 BCS HES NEVER HEARD HIM TALK ???? LIKE EVER BEFORE LOL ?????
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mintcrows · 1 year
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my ass in bg3 ea: haha astarion falls off cliff
me now after finishing the game once: IF SOMEONE LOOKS BAD AT ASTARION I'LL EXPLODE EVERYONE, HE'S GOING THROUGH A LOT RIGHT NOW, LEAVE HIM ALONE
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mcybree · 9 months
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"if you happen to fall in the subcategory of people who are really into third life and also rain world lets talk. please. i have an au come back"
i am staring at u with my artificer plushy in my hands
*walks onto the stage. taps mic.* um. Jimmy sliver of straw incident. *jumps off the apron breaking all of my bones immediately upon contact with the floor*
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Aveline is one of those companions in Dragon Age that makes me say, "God, you're such a bitch... tell me more right now."
I don't hate Aveline; honestly, I don't hate any of the companions from any of the games, their flaws and negative aspects make them interesting... but oh my god, Aveline is infuriating and sometimes I just want to grab and shake her.
She's such a hypocrite. She believes she's so lawful good and would never fall to corruption but she absolutely does?? Just because it's not the same sort of corruption as Jeven doesn't mean it's not corruption??
The Magistrate's Orders quest where you go to find Kelder who has a history of kidnapping and killing elven children? Aveline strongly agrees with bringing down hard justice on Kelder. When one of the guards there says Kelder's father will have Hawke's head, she says, "Only if it's reported."
If you kill Kelder, Aveline gives you Friendship +5 because she understands that if you let Kelder go, he'll never face justice for his crimes because his father won't let him. If you let him go, she gives Rivalry +5. In this situation, Aveline is more approving of Hawke killing him because yeah, it's bad that Kelder is killing these elves and everyone is just covering it up.
Fast forward to the end of Act 2 where Aveline comes to Hawke like, "The qunari are harboring two fugitives, we can't let them do that, it'll be real bad if people think they can avoid punishment by hiding with the qunari, come help me."
But then you get there and the two fugitives are a pair of elves who admit they killed a guard who forced himself onto their sister because no one did anything when they reported it. So they took matters into their own hands... and Aveline has the balls to say, "That doesn't excuse murder."
What are you talking about??? And if Hawke asks her if it's true, she hesitates and says there were rumors and she'll investigate and I'm just.... what do you mean you'll investigate??? you heard rumors?? did you not investigate before??
Aveline "I don't coddle my men" Vallen, you KNEW someone reported this about that guard and what? You didn't investigate because?? Because nooo, not one of your men?? Aveline, just because you're in charge now doesn't mean ALL of the guard are as lawful and good as you supposedly are! There's always going to be corrupt guards and a good Guard-Captain would do everything in their power to seed out those guards for the betterment and safety of the people! They would take those accusations seriously! But the elves say no one did ANYTHING.
Then the part that really gets me, right? Is if Hawke says they would've done the same thing, Aveline gets pissed and says, "Hawke! That's not helping!"
But that's the thing- If it WAS one of Hawke's siblings in this exact situation instead of a nameless elf, Aveline would've taken it seriously. If the same guard forced himself onto Bethany or Carver and Hawke killed him for it, Aveline wouldn't be stomping around like, "That doesn't excuse murder, Hawke! How could you? You need to face justice!" No, she would've been all for killing the guard because it's Hawke and their sibling.
Aveline cares about Hawke and has a bias for them, so it's okay for them to do that but a couple of elves who, like Elren from the Magistrate's Orders quest, are sick of no one helping them when they need it do it.... Noooo, that doesn't excuse murder!
It's like Aveline can't ever admit she's in the wrong, either. She never takes accountability for this. Even if she just admitted that she should've investigated and she'll make an effort to be better for the sake of ALL people in Kirkwall [because Aveline believes "I stand for all of us!" so strongly that it's something she consistently says in battle] moving forward then I would be less what the fuck about it, but she just doesn't.
It's like with Emeric and the murders happening... she and her men supposedly investigate Emeric's claims that all these murders happening in Kirkwall are connected, but Aveline keeps dismissing him that there isn't enough evidence.... except there's SO MUCH EVIDENCE when Hawke goes to investigate DuPuis, funny enough.
It's takes Leandra going missing before Aveline takes the case seriously. Even Emeric dying is like.... "oh no, he's dead, he was right... let's not do anything about it." It's takes Leandra dying for Quinton to be caught and killed, and my Hawke always lashes out at her for this and she just.... stands there like "Okay. Nothing I can say will make it better. Sorry for your loss."
but actually, yes, you COULD say you'll learn from this and do what you can to be better.... but again, Aveline just doesn't want to hear it?? then the qunari shit happens after!
And I get it. Aveline is only one person. She's Guard-Captain but she can't be everywhere at once and sometimes there really isn't enough evidence to convict someone of a crime. I'm sure she has a lot of work and stress in her position... but god, it's her inability to face the fact that she isn't this great embodiment of lawful good and that she IS corrupt in a lot of ways.
Turning a blind eye to the corruption in your guard, coddling your men and getting pissy when Hawke comes to you like, "So, Cullen sent me a letter that there are complaints about you and he wants me to investigate because he's scared of you and really don't want your job so.... are you coddling your men?" and having your husband, someone completely biased in your favor, vouch for you like.... that's being a little corrupt, Aveline??? a little dishonest?? a little abuse of your power?? why are you so frustrating???
I have a lot of criticism of her [like don't even get me started on how she ruined Carver's opportunity with the guard when that absolutely was not in her right to do] but I still find her to be interesting in a complicated, frustrating way. I have theories about why she's Like This that stem from her father and upbringing, but that's an analysis for another day. I just needed to get these thoughts out because I'm replaying DA2 and Aveline always hits a nerve.
#aveline vallen#aveline critical#dragon age 2#da2#long post#i don't hate aveline because for me i get more enjoyment out of playing these games when i try to view companions from all angles#and understand why they are the way they are and let them be flawed#rather than being dismissive and saying 'i hate them' the second they do something i don't like#even if they do shit that reeeeally pisses me off like aveline tends to do#plus there's usually deeper reasons when characters hit a nerve with me apart from a simple 'that's wrong and i don't approve'#like this whole thing I have with aveline here totally stems from the fact that i play as a tabris in origins#my tabris goes through a parallel situation as the elves aveline's going after except rose was nearly the victim in the situation#but it did happen to shianni and rose didn't hesitate in killing vaughan for what he did#what vaughan's gotten away with for years and no one stopped him because he's an arl's son#but then rose kills him and here come the guards to arrest her for her crimes...#never mind that vaughan kidnapped her with sadistic intentions and it was justified self-defense on her part#and it really makes me wonder what aveline would say to my tabris if confronted in this situation because rose would've chewed her ass out#if not worse and wouldn't have accepted 'there's nothing i can say that will satisfy you' for an answer like my Hawke had to#like rose knows guard corruption when she sees it and she'd make sure aveline knew it too but y'know...#unfortunately that's an interaction that only exists in my head#in conclusion: aveline's a bitch and i would like to know more please sksksks
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morninkim · 1 year
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Rise of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers - The Green Ranger
The Power Rangers refuse to accept that killing her is the only way to free Tommy from Rita’s control, determined to find a way to end RIta without risking their friend.
One by one, over several battles with the Dark Green Ranger, the team are able to summon their Dino Zords, all inspired by a comment made by Billy when they first found the Power Coins. Once all five are summoned, they make a last stand, taking down Rita’s Dark Dragonzord with their newly formed Megazord, the Rangers fight on the ground, urging Tommy to fight her, don’t let her win!
Zack cries out, holding her back from the rest of the team, “Tommy! Don’t let her decide who you are! You decide that!”
Jason on her other side adds on, “You’re one of the strongest people I know! Fight her!”
Trini supports, disarming the Dragon Saber from Rita’s grip, “You have to be brave for us! For yourself!”
Billy, staff of the Power Lance pinning the Dark Green Ranger to his stronger teammates, “We’re not giving up on you! It doesn’t make sense for you too either!”
Kimberly rushes into Tommy with all her strength, wrapping her arms around her so tight that no power in the known universe could break her grip, face pressed into Tommy’s chest, “Please, you have to come back to us! You have to come back to me!”
From then on, Tommy officially joins the team as the Green Power Ranger.
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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sudokuplayer · 4 months
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i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be
#no it's not pms :( Jeremy is still missing and i haven't slept well waiting for him#it's getting so cold too#all my ''''progress'''' this year means nothing to me#also my sister is here because she didn't have to work yesterday and today and my brother video called her not knowing she was here#and when she picked up he was all cheerful and happy and it sounded like they video call often#(he texted me only a few times when he moved to the north and not a single time since he moved to Argentina)#and when he realized she was here he sort of got quiet and asked if i was around and she pointed the camera at me which always makes me sic#so i didn't look or wave and i didn't say anything and he said “she's got he headphones on” and my sister said no lol and it was awkward#then she told him we are all sad about Jeremy and said me in particular#i've been so sad and moody and angry#i can't do anything because of this anguish i feel#can't read or watch movies because i can't concentrate#i watched the emperor's new groove the other day to cheer up a little but it made sad#nostalgia doesn't work for me when i'm down like this because i see through it lol and i remember i spent my whole childhood scared#i remember i was certain something bad would happen to me (and it did but not as tragic as what i was scared of)#i'm rambling. i should be journaling instead#...#Keanu is with me now and i can't even look at him without tearing up because i start thinking about Jeremy#it's so cold and he's probably hungry. if he's even alive#the cats are all i have. i spend more time with them than with the only 2 humans i can interact with without throwing up (mom and sister)#you know how they say cats mirror twhe personality of their humans :( Jeremy is exactly like me. my mom and siblings used to joke about it#he hides when people come over to the house:( he pees himself when strangers touch him :(#we have the vet come over so we don't have to take him out of the house#and the vet is the only person he's forced to see. he pees himself when she touches him too#i can't stop thinking about how he's doing if he's still alive because he gets scared so easily and he's so anxious#i'm so angry because i should go outside and look for him but i can't even picture myself out of this house#i feel so betrayed too. because one thing is my stupid sick head thinking there's no amount of therapy or meds that could work for me#but why is my family listening to me when i say these things. why don't they get me lobotomized or something#maybe it is a bit of pms#📓
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p2ii · 9 months
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its so sad when a story has all the perfect components for a good romance, but the author doesn't know how to write romance/put those components together to make a compelling dynamic and story.
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monty-glasses-roxy · 11 months
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Had a dream about a magic school AU. Like... Literally my school but with magic and with Roxy as a protag because Blorbo. She was the only one in the school without magic so every magic lesson, she'd literally just take a nap on the desk. What else is she gonna do?
But also I dreamed how she was compensating for not having magic. She was mixing chemicals into explosives to win fights and like... Yeah it's kinda hard to argue against the dog with Potion of Kaboom™️
However, because it was a dream, my brain combined the Glams with the cast of Ni No Kuni 2 and got very confused when I woke up because the Kuni 2 cast actually fit a magic environment but FNaF guys do not lmao
There was also a bit where Roxy not having magic means naturally, she doesn't rely on it to solve problems. So while everyone was given the task of making a candle go out without blowing on it, she just. Stared in absolute bafflement as everyone around her immediately dove to figuring out spells that extinguish flames. Instead of just. Water. From the tap. Right next to them.
She decided to freak them out a bit for fun and when the teacher asks for volunteers to come forward to show what they've come up with, she immediately puts her paw up and gets called on. She wets her paw under the tap before anyone has their attention on her, walks up to the candle at the front desk, turns so everyone can see, says all professional "Today, I've learned..." pauses and then... just pinches the flame out. Literally just pinches the wick between the paw pads on her fingers and it goes out immediately. "That you guys are idiots." And walks back to her seat in silence with a smirk.
Naturally, a bunch of kids are yelling that she can't just do that what the fuck?! But she did just do that. It took her half a second to do what's taken all of them a good forty minutes to figure out at least. Teacher asks how she knew that would work and she just "you can't have a flame without oxygen. Obviously." and you get a chorus of "WHAT" and "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!" She's so damn smug about it lmao these people make showing off too easy sometimes.
Like sure, she physically can't pass a mandatory magic exam unless she's able to figure out ways around it, but she can at least fuck around in lessons lmao. She tried skipping them but they started getting on her family with all the typical mandatory attendance shit so she has to go now :/ she just sleeps in them or fucks with people for fun since everyone likes to flaunt their magic on her every day anyway. Eat shit assholes she knows how to put fire out with minimal effort!
I think there was also a bit about her trying to convince teachers that a non-magic sports club would be a good idea?? And failing miserably because they just don't see the value in a magic school with non-magic sports. Thinking now, she could probably make her own club after school but probably wouldn't get that much traction with it... Resenting her family and teachers and every power that be forever because she could be a top student and could be doing amazing in school if she was just in a non-magic focused one. But she's stuck here and it sucks.
I don't know where I'd go with the story but eh it's neat I like it! Definitely different to my normal stuff!
#fnaf security breach#i feel i can't do anything with this without getting accused of inspiration from the worst piece of media ever...#because this site is mostly american and the school from that is literally just the uk's school system... but magic...#all i can see in my head is my buddy restless thinking that fucker made up christmas crackers man#so I'd be very wary touching this one cause i do NOT want to be associated with that bullshit#i never even liked it that much i jusf thought 'hey magic thats neat' and that was it before i Found Out the rest#so like#yeah uhh#new au I'm not sure i CAN do anything with??#without some bright spark making a connection where there isn't one???#uhh... hooray???#I'd love to make it a thing i think it'd be neat even if it would serve OCs better probably#so I'd love to talk about it#but you can see why I'm hesitant to post anymore about it without prompting right?#you guys can see why...?#for most people that aren't from here that series is the first interaction with the british school system they've seen#so a lot of people seem to think it was designed and made by that fucker when it legit wasn't#we have school houses here that's fairly normal... and christmas crackers...#and whatever else cause i don't remember a damn thing I've never seen any of those films the whole way through lmao#but anyway on that note... if you were wondering from that tag...#i was in the blue house in primary school. we were the falcons :)#we won the house points a lot it was great!!#anyway yeah I'm up to talking about this one and developing it more! I just... maybe won't unless someone specifically asks about it#ya know?#ask away if you want to!!! would be happy to fuck around with it!!!#otherwise I'll just. keep it to discord rambles... which is less fun honestly#but hey it works
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oars · 8 months
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sumtimes i go i dont care about romance or physical affection etc etc but will occasionally writhe and mourn that im not loved in a specific way so badly i want to rip my hair out. can i be kissed and held without feeling like im going to be killed or throw up pleaaaaaaaase . anyways im gonna eat some icea cream yayyyy
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