#I can’t do this I am TIRED of school I’ve been on break and I do not want to go back

[cryptidkey]

I have to go to school on Wednesday, devastating.

[lyriumsings]

took my quiz before my exam and i got a perfect score but i still have nerves and really feel compelled to procrastinate by like eating yogurt or something

[flippedorbit]

i think dropping out is in my best interest at this point

[srjlvr]

,, 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT MY EX ’’

JUST when you thought your life couldn’t get any worse after your biggest break up of the year, someone posted your (very) much hateful list about your ex.

PAIRING. Ex!jake X Ex-fem!Reader

GENRE. fluff(look at me putting this first in genre) , angst , exes to lovers.

WARNINGS. y/n is kind of a bitch towards jake ig, jake is a big big player, lots of miscommunications, also very much not proofread!! i shall add more if i missed something!

WORD-COUNT. 7.8k+

NOTE. there we go again with this story cover, im outta here, graphics and me are not friends UGH i gotta start paying for someone to actually do this for me smh. anyways!! everything here is FICTIONAL!! i do NOT see jake nor any of the characters like that in any way!! if you don’t like it—youre very welcomed to skip!!

you thought you had your brightest future in your hands.

being an ace student, scoring A+ in all of your tests and winning the teacher’s favoritism, all of that while also being the most popular cheerleader of your school.

you’re literally living everyone’s dream, not only being a popular student, but also dating the most popular student who also happened to be your highschool’s basketball team leader, jake sim.

girls swoon for him, beg him to notice them, even go as far as to send him gifts that costs probably more than their own house, but no, his eyes search for one person and one person only, and that’d be you.

“i’m sorry, i can’t continue all of this”

“this? what do you mean—“

“i mean us, this relationship, i don’t think it’s going to work anymore”

“oh”

“that’s all you got to say?”

“do you expect me to cry and get on my knees, begging you to regret this?”

“what?”

“speechless now, are we? i’ve been waiting for this day”

denial was your best friend, and you might’ve realized it a bit too late.

you were hurt, fuck you wanted to break down and cry. but he doesn’t deserve to see that.

you ignored so many red flags in your relationship, you were lovesick and pathetic, all for him, it broke you apart. but you do not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

“y/n…”

“i don’t want to hear it jake, i’m actually glad you took this step”

you’re not glad at all, you do love him.

“i wish you the best” he said quietly and left.

this whole relationship felt like a mistake for the both of you, it was toxic, too toxic.

like those you see on TV shows where the popular girl and guy just date for fame and nothing more, yeah, just like that.

but you loved each other, you really did. communication was your biggest enemy, and that’s what lead to this whole toxic relationship mess.

“what a fucking asshole! it hasn’t even been a month and he’s already all over the girls! pathetic”

“yeji!”

your best friend rolled her eyes, “am i wrong? he was always a player”

you shook your head.

she wasn’t totally wrong, even before you started dating he used to hold a different girl in his hands every other day.

big player indeed.

you on the other hand, no matter how popular you were, you stayed reserved. many boys tried their luck, but it was no use.

though being reserved, you didn’t mind the looks the other boys gave you, and took every chance you had to show yourself off.

therefore it was so surprising to everyone that you and jake started dating.

the biggest player and the reserved popular girl, dating? this had to be a joke.

the truth is that jake had been keeping his eyes on you for long, and he knew that he has to hold you in his arms and show you that a player like him can actually love.

at first it took him time to break down your walls, but he did his best to assure you that he’ll never let anything bad happen to you.

that was….well, until he decided to break things off.

“yeah, he was, once a player, always a player” you agreed with her, glancing at jake and rolling your eyes when noticing that the girl he was flirting with is having too much fun.

“let’s just go, i’m tired of watching those clowns” you sighed and walked away.

“y/n! i’m sorry you had to witness….well—“

“it’s okay sunghoon, really”

before you and yeji could walk too far, sunghoon stopped you.

sunghoon is jake’s best friend, you and him weren’t the best at making conversation while you and jake were still together, but when you broke up, something changed between the two of you.

“don’t mind him, he can be a total asshole sometimes”

“sometimes?” yeji chuckled and sunghoon nervously scratched his nape.

“thank you sunghoon, i’m fine though” you gave him a weak smile and walked away.

“well if there’s one thing that’s good about jake is that his best friend is smoking hot and totally into you!!” yeji clapped her hands.

you rolled your eyes in disbelief, “yeji i don’t think you get it, he’s just being nice because he feels bad about his best friend acting like a dickhead”

“oh y/n, i can read face expressions, he’d definitely ask you out if only things weren’t so difficult”

“don’t push it!”

“that’s the ONLY good thing about jake though, i feel bad for that walking red flag, he’s so bad at keeping his relationships”

“i should make a list of things that i hate about him and send it to every girl in school so they’d know they need to run away from him!” you joked.

“i’d definitely help you, i’m sure as hell that it’ll make his ugly face vanish” she was joking as well.

you both were joking, you knew it very well.

so how the hell did you find yourself sitting in your room desk, writing a list about the things you hate about your ex?

“one, he’s smoking hot, his visuals can mess up your mind” you’re writing everything down as you’re saying them out loud.

complimenting him on your first point? way to go girl!

“two, he’s a big fat player, once your date is over he’s already probably running to find his next” you rolled your eyes to this one.

not even a month passed and he’s already flirting with others? what a loser!

“three, so full of himself! it actually hurts to see a person who loves himself so much he could probably die!”

that one time he wouldn’t stop talking about how many girls asked him out in one night? yickes!

“four, so toxic and possessive! don’t want you around any guy while he walks around and talks with any girl he sees”

when he got jealous that you spoke with your childhood friend about the most random thing ever? disgusting!

“five, puts milk before cereal, i don’t even need to explain!”

a walking red flag or what?

after finishing the rest five points you had to make, you decided to call it a night and drifted away to dreamland.

“psst”

“hm?”

“i know we were joking about the hateful list yesterday, but i actually made it”

“what?!”

you put your hand over yeji’s mouth and giggled.

“it just felt so good! i feel so relieved now! i don’t even want to post it, but it just felt so right to just let everything out”

“so proud of you, girl! finally let it go and move on!!” she pat your shoulder and then proceeded to hug you.

“where did you hide that list?” she raised her brow.

“i just brought it with me today, i put it in my locker and i’ll probably burn it by the end of the day, i just wanted to show it to you first before i do it”

“now that’s my girl!”

yeji is the bestest friend you could’ve ever asked for. she was always there for you.

ever since you were little you were stuck like a glue, you had each other’s backs and you were more than thankful to have her in your life.

“hey y/n! i was just wondering, do you perhaps have notes for the last maths class? i missed it because of practice and i’d really like some help” sunghoon showed up with a grin.

“sure, they’re in my locker, i’ll bring it to you” you nodded and he shook his head.

“i’ll come with you”

“oh? okay”

he followed you to your locker and waited for you to give him the notes.

“what’s in this paper?” he asked as he looked at the very cute designed paper.

“oh? that’s nothing really” you shrugged it off and quickly closed your locker, “bring them back to me when you finish”

“i will, thank you!” he said and walked away.

you opened your locker again to take out the paper, you sighed heavily and shoved it into your bag.

“six, he can’t keep his promises! if he’ll ever tell you he’ll play some video games with you, don’t believe it!!” yeji read it out loud and laughed.

you laughed with her, suddenly finding this list so funny.

“seven, his puppy eyes are definitely misleading! he’s a one manipulative bitch and he won’t be afraid to use his cute puppy eyes!” she rolled her eyes, “is that a good or a bad thing?”

“bad thing obviously! it’s literally written there that he’s manipulative!”

“girls love puppy eyes! you should know that!” she preached and you rolled your eyes.

you spent the rest of your lunch break giggling and laughing about this stupid list.

“i’m returning this to my locker, i’ll burn it after practice today” you told her and she nodded.

“i need proof of that, video call me when you do it!” she said and sent you off to practice.

arriving at the field, you found your friends and practice started.

“hey, y/n!” as you were packing everything in your bag and exiting the dressing room, sunghoon, who was already there waiting for you called you.

“hey, you” you grinned.

“will you let me do the honor and walk you home today?” he asked ever so nicely.

“sure!” you smiled and began to walk with him, completely forgetting about the paper you had to burn.

“i can’t believe you forgot the paper in your locker! what if someone steals it?” yeji complained over the phone right after you texted her that you forgot about it.

“yeji! no one knows it’s there except you! it’s not ‘to all the boys i’ve loved before’ story! you can calm down” you sighed.

you were right though, who knows this locker holds up something that can completely ruin not only yours but also your ex’s image?

“i guess i’m gonna let this slide today, but i’m going to burn this paper with you tomorrow!”

“hm”

“how was your walk with sunghoon~?” she teased.

“it was cool, he’s such a cute guy, surprised that he’s still single honestly”

“i think we both know why”

“i’m gonna go sleep!” you changed the subject and before she could ask any more questions you hang up.

the next day you found yourself yet again a victim to yeji’s new gossips while trying to take out a few things from your locker.

“so as i was saying—are you even listening to me?” she looked at you while you looked at the mirror that was hanged in your locker and applied your lipstick on.

“hm? oh yeah”

“you’re a lost case”

“we’re gonna burn this paper today! and then i will finally be able to feel free from this relationship” you smiled, explaining to her that it was the only thing on your mind.

“you’re damn right! this hate list about jake is going to be burnt today!!”

“this hate list about who?”

you jumped hearing someone else’s voice behind you.

“oh! yena, didn’t see you here” you chuckled nervously.

“just here to tell you that coach said there’ll be another practice today, i came here privately because, you know, you’re too busy in other things to care” oh she’s a one of a kind bitch.

you gave her a sarcastic smile, “i already know that, but thank you”

she returned the fake smile and walked away.

“that was so close!”

“you should be more careful, this girl is just looking for something that’ll bring you down” yeji whispered and you nodded, “i guess you’re right, at least she didn’t really hear all of this”

school ended and so did your practice, yeji leaned on the wall next to your locker as you searched for the paper.

“i could’ve sworn i put it right there!!”

“y/n think!! maybe you put it in your bag?”

you handed her your bag for her to search it.

“oh! i found it! it was between those notebooks” you giggled, “but i could’ve sworn i put it under all of my books”

“at least you found it” she sighed and put her hand over your shoulder.

“let’s burn this bitch!”

looking at the little fire you made with yeji made you feel excited and mostly happy.

you let all your thoughts together with this paper to burn.

your relationship was toxic, but this time was the most beautiful time in your life.

you and jake really did love each other.

one time you were sitting together in the library, trying to study the new material your teacher gave you.

“what are you up to?” he asked.

“studying, that’s why we’re in the library” you smiled.

“that’s so boring!” he pout. you giggled and pecked his lips, “you can be on your phone or something until i finish”

“no” he shook his head, “i want to do something with you”

“jake—“

“let’s go! i’m taking you on a date!” he grabbed your hands and dragged you out.

you spent the rest of your day together, sharing a few snacks and joking around.

it was the perfect kdrama couple everyone dreams of.

you ended up sleeping at jake’s house that day, and he made sure you knew how much he loves you.

“i can see our future together,” he smiled and held your hands, “me, a famous basketball player and you, my pretty partner”

you were sitting right across him on his bed and raised a brow, “oh? so i get to do nothing?”

“i’ll make sure to work hard so you could rest and never work for your entire life” he hugged you and pecked your cheek.

“remember that promise, i’ll use that against you in the future” you joked.

“that means…..you too see a future for us?”

“of course”

he put his hand on your cheek and moved you closer to him, he kissed you so deeply you could feel his love to you was sincere.

that small flashback of this romantic moment made you smile, you really do miss him.

but a dark memory came right away, not leaving any place for the sweet memories to stay,

“oh so i didn’t pay attention for you for once and now you’re giving fuck eyes to my best friend?” he yelled.

“you’re such an idiot sometimes! sunghoon was actually kind enough to apologize on your behalf! you were basically embarrassing me in front of everyone!”

“so now sunghoon’s the hero? go to him then!”

“why are you so stup—“

“i don’t want to hear your complains, y/n!”

“oh really?—“

“yes! go away!”

thinking about those moments reminded you why you’re still here looking at the hateful list you made about him.

he was toxic, possessive, and full on narcissistic, it was so hard to love him sometimes.

yeji came up to hug you when she noticed a few tears streamed down your face.

“let it go now, you already proved yourself you don’t need him” she smiled and you nodded.

“let’s go home”

the next day felt a lot better than the others, the sun was shining brightly, birds were singing, a big smile was smeared all over your face and most importantly, you felt free.

“morning, y/n!”

“morning yeji! lunch is on me today”

“i look up to you so much, my queen” she faked a bow and you giggled.

the day is going to be amazing, and so are the other days! you’re so sure of it.

you decided to keep up with jake’s game and even started flirting with other guys, not even minding if your ex was watching or not.

usually you would, but not now, or never again.

“what’s your fucking problem?”

while talking to some guy you don’t even remember the name of, jake grabbed your wrist and stopped the conversation.

“what do you mean—“

“i mean flirting with him, he’s supposed to practice—“

“you don’t return from break for the next ten minutes, i can talk with him in the meantime” you rolled your eyes.

“coach said—“

“don’t make up things now and don’t act like you care, we’re already over”

“y/n—“

“don’t play this game with me now jake, you can return to your fangirls and leave us alone” you scoffed and released his hold on your wrist.

he rolled his eyes in annoyance and walked away.

“did you see the way he looked at you? i bet you my whole money that he still loves you” yeji sounded as annoyed as he was.

“be ready to go bankrupt because there’s no chance”

“this asshole thinks you’re still in a relationship, he’s sooooo pathetic!”

“yeji, let’s stop talking about him” you groaned and she nodded.

you were in a really good mood today but he totally just ruined it.

the next few days went by so fast, you felt happier by each day that comes by, and nothing could ruin your mood.

that was until today’s morning.

as soon as you stepped your foot in the school’s hallway, people started gossiping.

“y/n! about point five, does he really put his milk before cereal? that’s disgusting!” a random student just popped up and asked you that question straightforwardly.

“huh?”

a few more students gathered around you and you couldn’t even understand a bit of what they were saying.

“excuse me! coming through!” yeji yelled and pushed everyone aside.

when she noticed you in the middle of the circle, she grabbed your hand and dragged you away.

“are you crazy? why would you post the list?!” she asked frustratedly.

“what list?”

“don’t play dumb!”

“no i’m really serious, what are you talking about?”

she glanced up at you and showed you her phone.

“no way!” you gasped.

someone posted your list!

“yes way! are you that stupid?”

“yeji that wasn’t me! i would never do something so dumb!” you reasoned yourself.

right, why would you even post this if you knew it was going to ruin your reputation?

she sighed and walked back and forth.

“it wasn’t me either!” she said almost instantly.

“yeji, you’re the only one who knows about this list” you said suspectedly.

“y/n, do you really think i’d post this? after shit-talking about him and threatening to kill him multiple times?” she looked genuinely hurt.

you know her ever since you know yourself, she wouldn’t do such a thing.

“you’re right” you sighed.

“so,” she spoke, “who’s the asshole?”

“i wish i knew” you scoffed, “i’d like to know who wants to ruin my image”

there were a few seconds of silence, “yena!” you and yeji shouted together with wide eyes.

“this bitch!” yeji spat, “she probably heard us talking about it!”

“oh i’m gonna give her some good bea—“

you were cut off by the bell and had to head straight to class.

you waited for everyone to get in and told yeji you’d come right after you get to your locker and take your notes.

the hallway was empty and you sighed in relief.

“YOU!!” you heard someone shouting across the hallway.

guess it wasn’t so empty after all.

you looked at the person and found the last person you wanted to see.

“you ruined my life!” the person just got closer and closer and you closed your eyes tightly.

“is it because of our break up? that’s how you get back at me? you ruined everything!”

you sighed heavily.

“and what’s with those points? eight, he’s such a nerd for physics it actually hurts, he won’t stop talking about it all the time, nine, thinks his dog is the cutest and will argue you if you don’t think like him, and ten, he’ll use your deepest secrets against you, he cannot be trusted???” he read out the list for you in disbelief, although you already know it.

“those are all lies aren’t they? why did you even—“

“well what am i supposed to do now? it’s already posted, and no! these are not lies! they’re the truth, if you only cared about how i felt in our relationship you’d realize how much of a dick you were” you scoffed and closed your locker, prepared to go to class since you were already too late.

you glanced at jake one last time, he looked speechless, confused and hurt.

were you too much? maybe. but he deserves it.

“hey y/n! should i be careful if i want to date you? i don’t want a hateful list posted about me if i ever break up with you” a random student yelled from across the hall as you were busy talking with yeji.

you glared at him and decided not to reply.

“ignore them, this whole thing will probably vanish in a few days” yeji caressed your back and you sighed.

“i hope you’re right—“ before you could continue, a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you away from yeji.

you looked at the person in charge and when you noticed it was very angry looking jake, you started panicking.

“hey, let me go!” you tried to let go of his hold but it was no use.

“why didn’t you delete it yet?” he asked angrily when you got into an isolated place.

“delete what?”

“are you that stupid?”

“obviously if i’m still talking to you”

“i’m talking about the post”

“it wasn’t me!” you argued.

“sure, and i’m actually queen elizabeth” he rolled his eyes, clearly not believing you.

“think about it, why would i ruin my reputation?”

“i don’t know, to get sunghoon’s attention? that’s all you ever did” he shrugged.

“you’re a piece of shit, you know that? try to figure who it was on your own” you spat and walked away, leaving him deep in thoughts.

“oh! there you ar— are you okay?” sunghoon who casually bumped into you noticed your frowned eyebrows and tightly closed fists.

“go to your friend, i think he needs you more than i do”

he slowly nodded, still worried about you but you just kept walking away.

“hey dude! what’s going on?” sunghoon noticed his friend’s weird behavior.

“sunghoon,” jake spoke, “who do you think posted it?”

sunghoon shrugged, “it could be anyone”

“who wants to destroy my image? do you think there’s someone that does?”

sunghoon looked at his friend in disbelief, does he really think only about himself now?

“maybe it was someone who wants to get back at y/n and not you? not everything revolves around you, you know”

ouch. truth hurts sometimes.

but it seemed to hit a nerve and jake suddenly got up.

“yena!”

“ugh! just when i thought my life got better without him now i have a huge scandal because of him” you whined.

“are you sure it was only because of him? i mean, you did leave it in your locker and…” yeji was about to continue but stopped when she noticed your glare.

“on who’s side are you?”

“every coin has two sides and you know it” she pressed her lips and you sighed.

maybe she’s right, instead of always blaming your ex about your life problems, you should face the truth sometimes.

“well if it isn’t the famous y/n!” you heard a voice you wished you’d never hear again.

“yena! it’s so good to see you here” you faked a smile, “what brings you here?”

“i study here” she answered sarcastically and you tried to resist the urge to punch her in the face.

“anyway, your list got so famous that everyone at school talks about it! i think you should thank whoever posted it”

“maybe i should! it really got me some fame, even your boyfriend came up to me today” you teased and her face turned red.

“you’re lying!”

“your boyfriend would say otherwise”

she scoffed and ran away, “tell him i agree to go on a date with him!” you shout as she walked away.

“you should go easy on her” yeji, who was there to witness everything that happened shook her head.

“it was her who posted it, she deserved it” you huffed and sped up your walk to the classroom.

your last class was finished after what felt like a year and as you got out you finally took a deep breath.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, try not to think about what happened today!” yeji sent you off and you smiled at her.

as soon as you stepped your foot in school you wished you could run away.

before anyone would notice you, you tried to sneak around and look for yeji.

“y/n!” god how much you hate universe.

“what do you want jake?” you answered rudely.

“just wanted to say thank you for that list,” he said sarcastically, “it’s not like you ruined my reputation or something like that, hey by the way! do you think i should make one too? i think that would be fun”

“don’t you dare” you groaned.

“then let’s date again”

“what?”

“are you deaf? i said let’s date again”

“what makes you think i’d actually do that?”

“well, we could lie to everyone that we tried to trick them into thinking that we hated each other to see how others will react” he shrugged, “think about it, it’ll save our image, plus you owe me”

“i owe you nothing”

“it’s because of you that we’re in this shitty situation!”

“you can just let it be and people will forget about it sooner or later, now let me go—“

he caught your wrist before you could leave.

“one week, one week of just pretending and then we’ll part our ways peacefully”

truth is, his idea didn’t ring so bad, but you were scared. you were scared you’d fall in love with him all over again.

“what is it, some fake dating love story? you can go fake date sunghoon and that’ll create a bigger scandal than this one” you shoved your hand and rolled your eyes while walking away.

a part of him just wanted to hold you back again in his arms, for real.

“hey jake!” sunghoon greeted him and jake gave him a weak smile.

“did you just talk with y/n? i thought you were angry with her?”

“i don’t know, sunghoon” he sighed, “i just want my old life back”

“yeah you kinda fucked up your life, hey why did you even break up with her in the first place?”

when sunghoon heard about your break up, he was the first to come up to jake and ask him about the reasons, only then he realized jake didn’t really want to speak about it at all.

but now jake felt ready, he felt like he needed someone to hear his side of the story, every coin has two sides right?

there they were, sitting in the field’s seats, looking at the empty space, it was just the two of them.

“when we first got together i was so happy, you already know how much i liked her that time, you even helped me planning all those dates” jake sighed.

“‘sunghoon how do you take someone on a date without telling them straightforward it’s a date?’ i remember you asking me those questions nonstop!” sunghoon laughed.

“yeah, i was on cloud nine, but,” jake paused, “i was scared to lose her, i was so scared to lose her to the point i became overly possessive and anxious when she was around other boys, i was so used to have a one time thing and i didn’t know how to keep relationships, it all became messed up, this whole relationship happened in the wrong time”

sunghoon pat his friend’s shoulder, feeling sad for him.

“each time i tried to fix it, it got worse and i didn’t know how to stop, so i just decided to break it off, it’s better to let her live her life than to stay selfish and keep her to myself” jake sighed yet again, emphasizing the disappointment he feels with himself.

“i actually wanted to say this for awhile, but deep down i know you’re insecure about yourself, and you tried to hide it by boosting your ego and lying to everyone about your true self” sunghoon chuckled, “you were some kind of an asshole before you started dating y/n, and even became more of an asshole after getting into a relationship, you should’ve just talked it out with y/n”

“well it’s too late now isn’t it? she made that very clear that she hates me by writing down that list” jake groaned.

“maybe you should just make one about her and ruin her chances to have any relationship in highschool as well” sunghoon shrugged but jake looked at him curiously.

“i was joking! don’t do that!”

“well? how are we feeling today?” yeji handed you your favorite snack to cheer your mood up.

“thinking about ways to kill yena, how about i poison her food?”

“how about you just talk it out with her?”

“not a chance! i can’t look at her face without fighting the urge to punch her”

“well it isn’t going to help you, is it?”

“no, but it’ll make me satisfied”

“maybe i should just accept his offer?” you murmured.

“offer? what offer?” yeji asked.

“promise me no matter what happens, you’ll never abandon me” you grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at you straight in your eyes.

“have you gone mad? i—“

“promise me!”

“okay, okay!” she laughed, “you’re acting like you’re planning to get back with jake”

your silence told her everything.

“don’t you dare—“

“i have the perfect plan! you know how yena always wanted jake, right?”

“doesn’t she have a boyfriend—“

“boyfriend my ass, she was all over jake all the time”

“continue please”

“she probably posted my list to make sure i’ll never date him again, so she could have her chance,” you raised a brow, “by dating him i could only piss her off, but maybe that’d actually get her to confess about it”

“and then what?”

“then HER reputation would be ruined forever, boyfriend? gone, cheerleading? gone, friends? gone!”

“y/n,” yeji held your hand, “you’re so smart i feel like a proud mom!” she wiped her fake tears away.

later then you searched for a specific person you knew you’d find in the field.

“so,” the person said, “you actually agree?”

“jake, don’t make it harder than it already is” you rolled your eyes, trying to keep up with your cool girl energy, but deep down you were so excited to be close to him again and to hold him in your embrace.

“have you heard? jake and y/n are back!!” as you were walking towards your classroom you heard mumbling from other students.

“i literally just now agreed to this stupid idea how-“

“you know how fast rumor spread here, it’s actually scary”

your thoughts kept running through your mind all the way to lunch break, which was the only time you could ever relax and—

“attention please!” oh no.

“yes, me and y/n are back! this whole list thing? it was just to check everyone’s reaction about it! it’s so smart isn’t it? my sweet baby thought about this idea, and we did figure some weird actions after this whole thing blew up” jake dragged you right next to him and stared right into your eyes, “you’ll never break us apart”

cheers and claps were heard all over the hall and the only thing you thought about now is how to run away.

“congratulations! i was so scared it was real, was just now about to pay (student’s name) a hundred bucks, who lost the bet now huh loser?” one of the students came up to you with a wide smile.

you awkwardly smiled back as you set her off.

“did you really have to do that?” you glared at him.

“i did, see? now no one’s talking about it again” he shrugged.

“everyone stopped talking about it a day after! you’re just too busy thinking about yourself to notice your surroundings” you rolled your eyes.

“you agreed to do that, so be my guest, you knew there will be consequences”

“you’re the worst!”

“you don’t mean that”

you just rolled your eyes in return and stormed off.

“hey my sweet darling, how’s your day?”

“jake, we’re out of school, drop the acting”

you failed to notice his smile dropping.

“can’t i just be curious about your day?”

“jake, it’s weird, it’s been a while since we last talked or had a normal conversation, don’t act like nothing happened”

“what do you mean?”

“see you always does that! even when we were in a relationship! you fail to understand how badly you always hurt me and proceeded to just move on so fast, always running away from your problems”

he stopped his tracks as you continued walking away, this left a huge impact on him.

the next day you were back to acting, according to you, to jake it seemed very real.

you were sitting on one of the benches, casually talking with sunghoon about whatever.

jake seemed to notice every small detail about you.

the way you smile when he’s complimenting you, the way you crack at any of his jokes, even those who weren’t so funny.

you never laughed at his jokes.

“hey, can i steal my girlfriend?” jake sounded calm but his whole face screamed anger.

sunghoon, his best friend who had already recognized that face, slowly got up and smiled, “she’s all yours”

“hey, what was that?” you scoffed.

“you were being too close to him”

you rolled your eyes, “i can’t believe we’re back at it again”

“again?”

“yes, again! jake, get it right into your mind, we are not together! we’re just putting a small show for everyone’s entertainment and that’s it, it’s all about saving your ass here as well” you sounded really pissed off.

jake was taken a back for a few seconds but got right back to his senses, “oh”

“yes, oh! we’ll act like a couple when we’ll really need it” and with that you walked away.

“so,” you heard a devilish voice haunting you from behind as you were taking books out of your locker, “you and jake?”

“oh hey yena!” you smiled, “fancy seeing you here”

“answer my question” she furiously said.

“why are you curious? dropped your boyfriend because you thought you’d get a chance with him?” you smirked.

“oh! here’s my boyfriend!” you called jake who seemed to be very deep in thought.

he looked straight into your eye but decided to just walk away and ignore you completely.

“what the hell…” you cursed under your breath.

“boyfriend, huh?” yena was the one who’s smirking now, “well have fun!”

“what the hell was your problem back then?” you let yourself yell at him as you were out of school and on your way home.

“oh, i thought that we need to act like a couple when we really need it—“

“don’t play dumb right now!”

“i don’t get you y/n seriously! you’re always saying something but mean the exact opposite, what do you want, really?” he returned the attitude.

“what?”

“if you’re that suffering you should just go to sunghoon!”

“again with the sunghoon scandal—“

“yes, again with him! how come you never laughed at my jokes? how come you never smiled at any compliment i’ve given you? why did you always push me away when i tried to get closer?” the heated conversation turned into a quiet one, his tone made it very clear to you that he was hurting.

“w-what…” you whispered.

“you just don’t get it do you?” he chuckled, “my reason to being this jealous”

you stopped to think, all this time, all those arguments, he didn’t mean any bad at all.

“have you tried thinking about those beautiful moments we had? those were the most precious moments that ever happened in my entire life” you voice came quiet, “it was my first relationship ever, my first love, my first everything, i didn’t know how i should react, or what i should do in order to keep you to myself”

his glossy eyes were looking at you.

“you were so not used to doing ‘first time’ things that you failed to notice every little thing that i tried to do to keep us together, have you ever thought about that?” you preached, “i loved you, maybe i still do, but that won’t change anything, will it? it just doesn’t matter anymore”

he tried moving closer to you but stopped, “i-i’m sorry…”

“just go” you wiped the tears that were already streaming down your face.

both of you were hurting, but you didn’t know how to fix it all, it’s so stupid really, you think you’ve grown up to be a better person, but somehow communication puts on a wall that stops it all.

“have you heard? i think y/n and jake are over now, for real!”

“how the fuck did i became the hot topic again? and how come everyone knows about what happened yesterday?” you asked yeji.

“rumors, they spread so fast here” she shrugged and you rolled your eyes.

you watched jake pass you, you took the time to focus on his face.

his eyes seem so tried, puffy and hurt…. you thought.

“well someone had a rough day yesterday” yeji commented and you nodded slowly, still lost in thoughts.

“hey, can you let teacher know i have a meeting with coach today?”

“hm? but you don’t have any—“ “thank you!” you ran off quickly before she could ask any more questions.

“psst! sunghoon!” you whispered as you watched him getting ready for class.

“oh? y/n!” he smiled widely.

“come with me!” you grabbed his hand and dragged him outside the school building all the way to the back.

“y/n can we do this other time? class starts soon and—“

“shh!!” you put your finger over his lips and kneeled down with him, hiding from any teacher or student.

“i need you to help me” you gave him puppy eyes.

“yes of course, what happened?” he instantly asked.

“i’m gonna guess that you’re already aware of what happened yesterday”

“yeah, whatever that was i’d rather forget hearing about this”

“focus! i need you to help me figure out this!”

“what do you mean by ‘this’?”

“i mean everything! you’re his best friend, i’m sure you know about our whole relationship status, i-i just need to know why he broke up with me in the first place” you sighed.

“y/n, you’re not going to like what you’ll be hearing, are you sure you want that?” he genuinely asked.

you looked down to the ground and sighed, “yes, tell me everything please”

maybe asking him not to drop any detail was a mistake, because now after he told you everything and left you alone to get some time to think, you can’t help it but overthink about any step that you did.

“that only shows how bad you were for each other” sunghoon’s last words sent shivers down your spine, maybe he’s right.

“miscommunication sucks!” you laid back on the wall next to you, was this whole relationship a big mistake?

it did nothing but to hurt the both of you.

“there you are!” yeji sounded out of breath.

“so, jake might’ve gotten himself into a tiny fight and—“

“what? where!”

“it was right outside of our classroom but—“

before she could even finish her sentence you ran all the way back to your classroom and she after you.

“there’s no one here” you frowned, “you did this on purpose!”

“i tried to tell you he’s already in the nursery!” she yelled after trying to catch her breath.

“fill me up with information please” you asked quietly.

“you asshole!” as soon as you stepped into the nursery and saw jake laying down on one of the beds, a few tears came down your face.

“y/n! be careful he’s still recovering!” the nurse warned you from causing any more harm.

jake slowly opened his eyes and you scoffed, “fight? really? because of me?” you looked at him in disbelief.

he stayed silent, as if he knew what he did was wrong.

“you have nothing to say?”

“he called you a whore who likes to play with any boy that comes around, what did you expect me to do?” he sounded defensive.

“oh, i don’t know, maybe try to insult him with words and not physically! you got yourself into trouble now because of me” you complained.

“it was worth it” he smirked.

“jake, i’m being serious right now, you can’t act like we’re a couple when we’re absolutely not” as soon as you said this the nurse got the clue and went out of the room.

“that is exactly the problem!” he shout, “i can’t pass another day without you being by my side, you drive me crazy only by looking at me, and hell, i cannot look at any other man flirting with you without fighting the urge to punch him!”

“jake…” you whispered.

“i still love you, don’t you get it?…..i feel like i just can’t continue my day without holding you in my arms….” he held your hand.

you wiped the tears that continued to stream down your face, “you’re probably still suffering from concussion after the fight, i’ll go speak to the nurse”

you let go of his hold and walked out of the room.

a lot of thoughts were haunting your brain, how you wished things would be as simple as they sound.

he confessed to you and you love him, what’s stopping you from running into his arms?

“you’re just scared of giving whatever this was a second chance” yeji said as she took a bite of her food.

“whatever this was, it was toxic, i don’t want that to happen again” you sighed.

“yeah, it was pretty shitty to watch from the side, but i think he genuinely mean it this time” she took another bite from her food.

“how do you know that?”

“i mean really, ever since that list was posted he was around you 24/7, probably looking for excuses to be with you, that whole ‘oh we were just joking, we’re still dating’ thing was a dumb excuse for him to be next to you more, any nine years old can tell you that”

“you don’t have to be that harsh” you scoffed.

“i’m telling the truth babe, as much as i hated his guts, and still do, i think he was genuine about his feelings this time, and by the way you told me everything that happened, i think he really wants to fix it and try all over again” she shrugged.

“i….i don’t know what to say”

“just go and tell him yes already” she rolled her eyes and you nodded.

it’s time to fix your broken relationship.

you walked—ran back to the nursery only to find it empty.

“um…do you know where’s—“ “i saw him going to the field” the nurse answered before you could ask.

“thank you!” you smiled and walked excitedly to the field.

“i did it” you heard a familiar voice, “i posted that list”

before you could see who’s talking, you quickly hid behind a side wall.

“what?” you’re 100% certain this is jake’s voice, but who is he talking to?

“i thought this would finally break whatever you had going with her, i mean, you always had heart eyes for her even after your break up, it was making me sick”

“still, how could you do this to me?” jake sounded betrayed and…hurt.

“you had to move on, seriously, it was becoming unhealthy, i didn’t think it’d only bring you closer, it was such a mistake”

“please stop…”

“when you broke up i thought i’d finally have chance with her, but she was actually always looking your way, not even batting an eye at me”

“sunghoon just stop! i can’t believe my best friend would do this”

was it sunghoon this whole time?

“so it was you?” your thoughts voiced out.

“y-y/n?” you saw jake and sunghoon standing right in front of the other, sunghoon wore a shocked expression while jake just stood there looking completely hurt.

“what kind of an idiot would call himself a best friend? and to think you did all of that for what? to hurt not only him but me as well” you tched, “you’re nothing but an egoistic asshole”

“please just—“

“just go the fuck away! you did nothing but to hurt people, you’re disgusting me” you tried to shoo him but he didn’t budge.

“not going? okay then” you grabbed jake’s hand and walked away, not before shooting him an angry glare.

after a few minutes of walking you sat him down on one of the benches.

“you okay?” that was the first thing you asked.

“yeah, not like my best friend tried to sabotage me or anything” he chuckled.

“i’m sorry for that” you placed your hand on his shoulder, pressing it lightly, “he does not deserve to be called your best friend though”

he looked up to you and his eyes were filled with tears. you wiped the tears away and smiled at him.

“i don’t know if it’s going to help, but i didn’t feel anything for him, and never will”

he chuckled and sniffled, “i always trusted you, but i couldn’t find myself to trust him, i guess now i know why”

you rolled your eyes, “yeah, yeah you were right, i was wrong”

he gave you his infamous smile and the butterflies you felt never felt this good, “thank you” he said.

“for what?”

“for being there for me, and even if you don’t want to fix things right now, i think we might be—“

you shut him down by kissing his lips, he was shocked at first but quickly caught up, caging you in his arms and holding you tightly.

as you broke the kiss you smiled, “i do want to fix things, i want that more than anything”

“do you mean it? aren’t you afraid?”

“as long as i’m with you i have nothing to fear” you smiled.

“ugh! you’re back again? i can’t keep up with this anymore!” you heard an annoying voice.

“hey yena? fuck off” you flipped her off and she stormed away.

“since when did you become so confident?”

“ever since i realized i want to cherish and hold the most precious thing to me forever”

“i love you” he held your hand and kissed it, “i love you too” you replied with a quick peck on his lips.

“aww lovebirds, get back in class now the day’s not over yet!”

PERM TAG-LIST ; @sungwhoonz @unlikelysublimekryptonite @deobiis @manooffline @miumiuoi @in-somnias-world @filmofhybe @wonbinsnovia @daegutowns @aurumiee @soobywon @firstclassjaylee @watamotee33 @moons-v @s00buwu @hoonheepretty @jjeoni-7 @dimplewonie

••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.

[x0xomady]

But Daddy I love him! (pt.2)

(part 1)

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

warnings: smut, 18+, phone sex, angst, sex toys (this gets kinda filthy at the end lmao)

summary: after graduating from high school, harry decides he wants to move back to England for University. (long distance relationship)

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

watching harry get ready to leave is terrifying.

as i stood watching harry pack his belongings into the box, my body tensed with unease. there was something about the way he moved that filled me with uneasiness, and i couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. finally, i spoke up, breaking the heavy silence that had settled in the room.

“why do you have to go?" i asked harry, my voice low and laced with vulnerability. he looked up at me, his face betraying signs of tiredness as he let out a weary sigh.

"i miss london," he said, his tone carrying a hint of nostalgia. "and i have to go to medical school. it's something i've always wanted to do, and this is my chance to follow my dream.” harry meets my eyes for a second before leaning back down to put his clothes away. “plus… ya know being a doctor will make me loaded someday.”

as he spoke, i could see the passion and excitement in his eyes. i knew how much he had always wanted to go into medicine. we spent countless times together with harry ranting about how badly he wanted to become a doctor. he has always had the natural urge to help others, which is ironic considering he sells weed to make extra cash.

i couldn't begrudge him for taking this opportunity. but the impending feeling of loneliness and separation only grew heavier. i sit down on his bed and cross my legs watching him pack.

"but what about me?" i asked, my voice hitching in my throat. i felt a pang in my chest as tears welled up in my eyes. "what am i supposed to do without you?"

it felt horrible being this vulnerable in front of harry. i know i should smile and cheer for him, but the sense of abandonment i am feeling outweighs the excitement.

harry let out a sigh and stepped closer to me, his expression sympathetic. "you’ll be fine," he said, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "we can make it work, i promise pretty girl." he pulled me into a hug, and i buried my face in his chest, feeling the comforting beat of his heart against my cheek.

even as he held me, i couldn’t shake the feeling of anxiety and doubt that persisted in my mind. but for now, i chose to bask in the warmth of his embrace, treasuring the moments we had left together.

"you just don’t get it, do you?" i said, my voice tinged with frustration. i was tired of his nonchalance, as though everything was so easy and simple. i stood up, my fists clenched at my sides. "you're leaving me behind, and you're just acting like it's no big deal!"

harry looked at me, his expression a mixture of frustration and exasperation. "that’s not fair," he replied, his tone equally defensive. "i’ve had this planned for months, and you knew about it the whole time. you can’t expect me to just abandon my dreams."

"that’s not the point!" i shouted back, feeling my emotions rise to the surface. "i’m not asking you to abandon your dreams, but sometimes dreams can change. what about us? what about our relationship? can’t you just go to university here? there’s plenty of good schools. you don’t need to go to london!"

harry ran a hand through his hair, clearly growing frustrated. "it’s not that simple," he said, trying to maintain his composure. "i’ve been accepted into one of the best medical schools in the world. this is my chance to study with some of the top doctors in the field. it’s an opportunity that i can’t pass up."

i felt a rush of anger and disappointment wash over me. "so that’s it then?" i said, my voice cracking with emotion. "you’re just going to go halfway across the world because it suits you, and i’m just supposed to be okay with that?"

"what do you want me to do, y/n?" harry retorted, his patience starting to fray. "i can’t just give up my dream because it would make things easier for you."

i turned away, tears welling up in my eyes. "i don’t know what i want," i muttered, feeling defeated. "i just want you to understand how hard this is for me. i’m not just some afterthought in your life."

harry’s expression softened, and he took a step towards me. "you’re not an afterthought," he said, his voice quieter now. "i know this is hard for you, and believe me, it’s hard for me too. but we can make this work. i promise."

i turned back to him, my gaze locked with his. "how?" i asked, feeling desperate and uncertain. "how can we make it work when you’re halfway across the world? we’ll be stuck in different time zones, and we’ll barely get to speak."

harry gently took my hand and pulled me close, his expression earnest. "we’ll find a way," he said, his voice full of conviction. "we’ll talk every day, text each other any chance we get, and facetime on the weekends. we can make it work, i know we can."

the stubborn part of me wanted to resist, to continue the argument, but the look in his eyes made me falter. i knew he truly believed that we could make it work, and i didn’t want to hurt him any more than i already had. i let out a shaky breath and nodded, reluctantly giving in to his optimism.

"okay," i said softly, feeling a mixture of frustration and resignation. "we’ll make it work."

even as the words left my mouth, i couldn’t help but feel a nagging sense of doubt and uncertainty about the future. but i pushed those thoughts aside, choosing to believe in harry's optimism and trust in our love. besides, he didn’t need anymore stress at the moment.

and with that, our argument ended, leaving behind a strained atmosphere. we continued packing up his belongings in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts and concerns about the impending separation.

as i'm helping harry pack up the last few items, the sound of the bedroom door opening interrupts our silence. harry's mother, anne, walks into the room, her expression a mixture of sadness and excitement.

"harry, it’s time to go," she says, her voice tinged with a hint of urgency. "we don’t want to miss the flight."

harry nods, zipping up the last of his luggage. i can feel the tension in the air, the realization that the moment we’ve been dreading is finally here. i glance over at him, my heart heavy in my chest. the sight of my beautiful, loving, sarcastic boyfriend hits me like a gun. this is the last time i’ll be with him until christmas.

“come give me a kiss, pretty girl” harry’s usual flirty tone returning, masking the sadness both of us are pushing away. he gives me a playful smirk and holds out his arms. the sight of his bright green eyes looking at me is enough to pull me into his arms.

harry places sweet little kisses all over my face, making me laugh lightly despite the situation. he peppers my cheeks, eyelids and forehead with delicate kisses. as he peppers my face with kisses, harry whispers "i love you" in between. he pulls back, his expression filled with affection and adoration.

"i love you, y/n," he says, his voice full of sincerity. "always have, always will."

he takes my hand in his, intertwining our fingers.

harry smirks and leans forward his lips against my ear whispering so only i can hear. “and i’m especially gonna miss that sweet little-” i instantly cut him off by smacking a hand over his mouth.

“harry edward styles!” i can’t help but giggle at his words, despite his mom standing in the doorway. he grins smugly and places a kiss on my lips.

“alright lovebirds, we need to head out soon or harry is going to miss his flight. let’s get going.” we hear harry’s mom call out, her tone filled with affectionate reproach, she smiles at the scene in front of her but nods for harry to hurry up.

harry just gives me one last kiss before turning to his bags, picking them up and heading towards the doorway. “oh! i have one last present i need to give you baby-“ harry turns around and faces me.

i can’t help but raise an eyebrow in curiosity, watching as harry searches through his pockets. he withdraws a small black bag, a cheeky grin spreading across his face. “don’t open it till you’re at home”

his words are accompanied by a wink, leaving me to wonder what his surprise could be. i take the bag cautiously, feeling the weight of whatever is inside. i’m about to question him further when harry’s mom calls out again “we really need to get going”.

i nod, pocketing the gift into my purse, before letting him pull me into a tight hug. his arms wrap snugly around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder. i bury my face in his chest, taking in his scent and memorizing every little detail of him.

with a sigh, harry reluctantly pulls away, knowing it’s time to say goodbye for now. his thumb gently brushes against my cheek, a silent gesture of reassurance. “i’ll call you as soon as i land, okay?” he reassures me.

i nod, mustering a small smile, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall. harry leans in and places a tender kiss on my forehead before stepping back. “i love you curly” i smile and kiss his cheek one last time.

harry grins at the nickname, his eyes softening. “love you too, pretty girl. don’t worry, we’ll make this work.” and with that, he turns and follows his mom out of the room not without throwing me a dramatic little kiss and a wink.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

i lay on my bed, boredom and restlessness gnawing at me. i can't help but think about harry. i SHOULD be doing something productive like cleaning my room or hanging out with my friends, but for the last 7 hours i’ve done nothing but sob and stare at pictures of harry and i. oh and of course, listen to lana del rey like i’m in a heartbreaking movie.

so far, life without harry was not thriving.

i was feeling incredibly anxious about everything. what if his plane crashed? what if someone kidnapped him? i know he’s a muscular 6’0 man but, it’s possible!

finally, my phone breaks the silence, a chime signaling an incoming call. i quickly grab it, my heart skipping a beat.

"hello?" i answer, my voice carrying hints of anticipation and nervousness.

"hey love," harry's deep, familiar voice replies, instantly erasing my doubts and fears. i can practically hear the smile in his voice, and i can't help but feel a wave of warmth wash over me.

"how are you holding up?" he asks, his tone filled with concern and compassion. i can hear the soft hum of music playing in the background, and i imagine him sitting in his dorm room, surrounded by his belongings, making a new life in a foreign country.

"i've been better," i admit, my voice cracking slightly. "i tried to convince myself to be productive, but all i've done is cry and look at pictures of us." i can hear the sound of his soft chuckle on the other end of the line.

"i know it's hard," harry says softly. "i miss you too." his reassuring words calm me down a bit, but the ache in my heart remains.

"you know, i bought this new phone case in the airport just because it had sunflowers on it." harry suddenly blurts out, causing me to giggle.

"yeah? what's so special about sunflowers?" i ask, my curiosity piqued. harry laughs on the other end, his voice sounding fond and amused.

"they remind me of you," he says simply.

i can feel my face heat up at his words, a mixture of happiness and shyness coursing through me. "why's that?" i ask, my voice still a bit shaky. harry takes a moment to respond, and i can sense him contemplating his answer.

"well, sunflowers always turn towards the sun," he explains, his voice tender. "and you have this way of brightening up every single room you enter. you're like my own personal ray of sunshine…. plus you’re always chasing the sun so you can tan.” i can practically hear the smug smile on his face.

i can't help but burst into laughter, harry's dumb sense of humor never failing to put a smile on my face. "yeah, yeah, very funny," i reply, still giggling. "but i can't help it, sunbathing is like a way of life, you know?"

"oh i know trust me," harry responds, his tone full of familiarity and affection. "i've seen pictures of you on the beach, don’t think i've forgotten." i can basically hear him smirking through the phone.

my cheeks flush at his words, a mix of embarrassment and fondness washing over me. "yeah, you've been stalking my instagram, haven't you?" i tease, my voice laced with playful accusation.

"i wouldn't call it stalking," harry replies, his tone filled with mock defensiveness. "more like admiring from a distance." i can practically hear the cheeky smirk in his voice, and i can't help but smile.

"yeah right," i say, rolling my eyes even though he can't see me. "i know you're secretly glued to your phone, checking my insta every five minutes." i can hear harry chuckle on the other end of the line, his voice full of amusement.

"guilty as charged," he admits, his tone full of playful admission. "i just can’t help myself, my girl just happens to be so fucking pretty." i can feel my heart flutter at his words, a warm feeling spreading through my chest.

“yeah okay h.” i smile and roll my eyes at his words.

“oh speaking of- have you opened your present yet?” harry asks.

i’m taken aback by the sudden change in subject, but intrigued all the same. “my present? no, not yet. what is it?” i ask, unable to hide my curiosity, glancing over at the black bag harry had given me. i was too busy crying earlier to open it.

i can practically hear harry’s cheeky grin on the other end of the line. “oh it’s nothing special,” he says, trying to play it off nonchalantly, but i can tell there’s a hint of excitement in his tone. “just a little something to remind you of me.”

i feel a mixture of curiosity and excitement wash over me. i’ve always loved surprises, especially when it came from harry. “well, now you’ve got me intrigued,” i reply, my voice filled with eagerness. “i can open it right now, if you want.”

my mind can’t help but feel a little bit concerned at the gift. sure harry was a great gift giver, but he always liked to give me sex-related jokes to annoy me. there is a 50% chance that’s a dildo.

“yeah, go ahead,” harry says, a smile in his voice. “but you have to let me hear your reaction.” i can hear the anticipation in his tone, mirroring my own eagerness.

"okay, i'm going to open it now," i say, nerves and excitement mixing together. i grab the black bag from my bedside table and start to carefully pull out its contents.

as i pull out the contents of the bag, i am instantly hit with a smile. i find a little baggie of weed from harry with the note ‘light up 4 me ;)’.

i can’t help but laugh at the sight of the baggie, a mix of amusement and fond exasperation washing over me. “really, harry, weed?” i ask, still laughing. he chuckles on the other end of the line, obviously pleased with his gift choice.

“what, i thought it would help keep you entertained while i’m away,” harry replies, his tone playful. “plus i had to get rid of my stash before i flew on the plane and i knew you would use it wisely”

"oh, so you were just trying to get rid of some excess baggage, huh?" i playfully retort, shaking my head at harry’s antics. "but i guess i can’t complain, it’ll definitely help me unwind after my emotional breakdown earlier."

“see, i always know what you need,” Harry says, his tone pleased. “and how could i not get you some weed? it’s part of our love story after all.” I can’t help but laugh at his reference to our past, remembering all the memories we made together while high.

"oh yeah, how could i forget,” i say rolling my eyes and smiling. “our first date was basically a joint and a make out sesh. romantic.”

“hey that was fun!” harry is practically cheesing through the phone. his playful tone instantly makes me feel better about this whole situation. “oh and theres something else in there”

"oh really?" i say, lifting up the small black bag and checking inside. my hands brush against something small and my heart races a bit. could it be-

i gingerly pull out the object, instantly bursting out laughing when i see a vibrator. harry never failed to make sex jokes in serious situations.

“really?” i ask, unable to keep the laughter from my voice as i eye the vibrator. “harry, if you wanted me to use this, you could have just come right out and said it…” i tease, waiting for his reaction.

“oh trust me, if i was there, i would be the one replacing that thing,” harry teases back, his voice low and seductive. “but since i can’t…” he drawls, his playful tone making my heart skip a beat.

“harry i seriously can’t believe you casually handed me a bag of weed and a sex toy in front of your mom.” i burst into a fit of giggles at the randomness of harrys actions.

“what?” he responds casually. “my mom practically raised me with weed and sex toys. she understands the importance of self-care.” i can practically hear him winking on the other end of the phone.

"god harry. what would i do without you?" i ask, feeling a rush of affection for this ridiculous man. i am so in love with his dumb cheesy smile, bright green eyes, and unbrushed mop of curls.

“probably be bored out of your mind,” he teases, his voice filled with confidence. i laugh in response, knowing he’s probably right. “but don’t worry, i’ll make sure you never have to find out.”

“yeah yeah okay calm the ego down.” i smirk and roll my eyes teasingly. harry’s deep chuckle comes out the speaker and i can’t help but smile.

“oh cmon! open the vibrator babe” i can hear harry’s smile.

“are you seriously trying to have phone sex with me right now, h?” i continue giggling at his words.

harry scoffs playfully. “um duh. open that thing up.”

i hesitate thinking about the fact that my VERY strict parents are asleep down the hall but harry’s voice convinces me.

“fine fine” i put the phone down and connect my headphones so i can do this hands free. my hands pick up the vibrator and i look at it curiously. “you sure about this h?”

“fuck yeah baby. cmon y/n reach down there and play with your little clit for me.” his deep voice sends shivers down my spine as i follow his words. my hand reaches down beneath my pink sweatpants to my panties.

“just how i would do it, love. play with it like you know i would if i was there with you.”

i imagine it was harry’s hand instead of mine. reaching beneath my panties and pushing between my legs. i gasp softly as my fingers reach my bundle of nerves.

“o-okay” i mumble as i close my eyes, wishing it was harry’s hand searching between my legs.

"bet you're wet for me, aren't you pretty girl?” he murmurs into the phone. i hear him unbuckle his belt as it hits the floor on the other side of the phone.

“yeah…” my cheeks flush as i feel the wetness beneath my fingers. i gently trace my slit gathering my fluids.

“oh fuck…” he groans out. my hole flutters at his noises as i imagine his tattoo and ring clad hand taking ahold of his thick cock. “taste y’self for me baby…”

i obey and bring my hand from beneath my panties to my lips. my lips instantly wrap around my two fingers just like i would if harry was here instead. i hum at the taste and clench my legs together in search of relief.

“good girl. my mouth is fucking watering at the thought of you baby… wish i was there in between your legs right now.” he lets out another soft groan making me moan quietly in return.

my hand moves quickly from my lips to my panties desperately looking for that feeling. as my fingers reach my silky clit i gasp softly. without hesitation my fingers start rubbing tight circles on the sensitive area.

“shit… h-harry” i bite my hand to muffle my moan as my other hand stimulates my bundle of nerves.

“that’s it pretty girl… i’m throbbing at the thought of you playing with yourself.” he mumbles into the phone. “pick up the vibrator for me y/n.”

i obediently pick up the pink vibrator sitting on the bed next to me. confusion hits me as i look at the vibrator trying to find how to work it. “h? how do i- ”

“don’t worry bout that baby… i’m gonna control it on my phone.” harry says smugly.

blush instantly scatters across my face when i hear his words. i should’ve expected it though, harry always like to be in charge. “o-oh.”

“good. put it in for me baby.”

i bite my lip and do as he says, moaning loudly as i push the vibrator inside of me. i can practically see harry’s smirk as the vibrations start inside me. the throbbing at my center increasing as the sensations fill my body.

“there ya go pretty girl… push it all the way inside.” harry moans out. my thoughts are filled of him and his fat cock filling me up as i push the vibrator all the way up.

the dual tips of the vibrator hit my clit and g-spot at the same time making me release a pitiful whine. it doesn’t take long before harry is turning up the vibration speed even more.

my body shakes with pleasure as harry plays with the different settings. “fuck harry!” i gasp as he turns it on all the way.

“yeah? does my girl like that?” he lets out a whimper that sends shocks through my body.

“so much harry- shit!” i whine fucking the vibrator into my sopping entrance quickly.

“oh- no fuck this i need to see your face when you cum baby.” harry quickly hangs up the phone before calling me back through facetime. i smile a little and pick up the phone.

“fuck there ya are” harry’s bright green eyes and flushed face meets my own pulling a smile out of me.

i instantly let out a whine as harry situates his phone on his bed. his large fat cock now visible to me. i do the same with my phone and continue fucking the vibrator into me.

“that’s it good girl.” harrys face scrunches up in pleasure as he fists his cock steadily. i match his pace feeling my climax approaching steadily.

my droopy eyes are fixated on harry’s bright red tip and thick shaft. his creamy pre-release dripping down the sides of his cock deliciously. i let out a muffled moan as i watch him move his hand at the same pace i’m moving my new vibrator.

i watch harry do something on his phone and i’m instantly hit with the strongest vibrations yet. “f-fuck!” i groan into my hand and buck my hips up into the vibrator.

“that’s it pretty girl” harry watches me carefully through the phone, his own hand unrelenting. “how’re you so fucking wet?” he lets out a little laugh “i’m flattered baby- i mean i’m not event there and you’re making a mess.” he teases with a smirk.

i’m too focused on the pleasure coming from the powerful vibrations on my clit to come up with a retort.

“h- i’m gonna cum” i whimper out and press the vibrator as far as it goes. the dual vibrations on my clit and the spot between my walls is too much.

“yeah? good. cum with me beautiful.” he throws his head back and leans against the wall. harry’s hand grips his cock tightly as he quickens the pace. my eyes are locked on the way his body reacts, his pants, the way his hips buck up in pleasure, i just want to kiss him.

it only takes a few more vibrations from the vibrator for my cunt to clench tightly around it and release. i let out a whine as i fuck myself through my orgasm. harry finishes himself moaning through the last few strokes.

after the sensitivity gets to me i pull the vibrator out and watch as harry releases onto his stomach. his ferns being painted with his cream.

“damn- ” i giggle and clean myself up as harry sits there with a smirk still panting softly.

“yeah damn is right.” he chuckles and picks up his phone. “that was a good way to celebrate me being in london.”

i smile and laugh softly getting back beneath my covers. “i love you harry.”

“you know i love you, pretty girl”

[msbigredmachine]

New To This - Chapter 5

MASTERLIST

“Sup, trick,” a soft voice chuckled next to Delilah, and she turned to see Tiwa, her co-worker at the supermarket, presenting her a can of Mountain Dew and a bowl of jollof rice and stewed chicken as she joined her to sit on the staircase outside on their lunch break. “Want some?”

Delilah grimaced and bit into her carrot stick for emphasis. “You know I can’t have that. I’m workin’ out and shit.”

“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting about your wrestling. Shoulda brought you a salad or somethin’,” Tiwa joked, causing Delilah to roll her eyes good-naturedly. The two women had known each other since high school and had run in different social circles back then, but working together for the past four years had closed that gap between them.

“So, how’s wedding planning going? You still got time for that with your wrestling and all?” Tiwa asked as she threw her braids behind her shoulder.

“It’s going,” Delilah shrugged, staring out into the empty backlot of the supermarket. “My Mama’s making sure it’s going, anyway. We’ve put a deposit on the reception hall, but haven’t decided on the catering. I haven’t even thought about a dress yet. Luckily I got my mom’s wedding dress to fall back on if everything else goes to shit.”

“You sound bored outta your fuckin’ mind,” Tiwa pointed out, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve never heard any woman sound this uninterested about planning her own wedding.”

“It’s not boredom. I’m just…tired,” Delilah insisted, shuffling her feet on the step she sat on. “Training and working two jobs hasn’t given me much time to think of anything else.”

“What about your man? Is he going to Panama City with you for the show? I mean, that’s gotta be exciting, right?”

“For me? Absolutely,” she responded, turning her face toward the sun. “The networking opportunities are beyond my wildest dreams. For him? Not really. He’s never been a wrestling fan. And he still thinks I’m outta my mind,” she added with a roll of her eyes. In reality, she knew that half the town thought the same way, but she never let it deter her. What she wanted to do with her life was no one’s fucking business.

Tiwa nodded in what seemed like understanding and chewed her food slowly. “That bad, huh?”

“Yeah, that bad. He’s not cooperating at all.” Delilah huffed, feeling her blood begin to boil already. “First off, he refused to come to my first match. My very first match! He bitches about my training schedule all the fuckin’ time now. What is scaring him so much?”

“Gee, where do I start?” Tiwa snorted.

Delilah looked back at her co-worker, startled by her response. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, girl. Look at it. Y’all supposed to be getting married soon and then your wrestling picks up. I saw your match on YouTube and it’s already at like a hundred thousand views. That’s a fuckin’ big deal, ya know? Not to mention you’re spending time with that steaming hot Jey guy that just might end up being your co-worker. And from all the buzz you’re getting, it’s only gonna be a matter of time before that happens. That’s gotta make Andre uncomfortable.”

She didn’t know her match had made it onto YouTube, but she would get back to that later. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I am. And I’m happy for you. This town is boring as fuck. Someone needs to get outta this dump and do something interesting with their lives.” Tiwa took a swig of her Mountain Dew. “So back to you and this Jey dude. He seems to be giving you a lot of attention.”

“Y’all making it sound like me and him are seeing each other every day or somethin’,” said Delilah, her tone a little gruffer than she wanted. “That ain’t the case. Jey’s been like a second coach, like Tank. I want to make it to the big time, and if Jey can help me get there, I’ll take it.”

“You sure he hasn’t hinted at something more? Like, you know…”

Delilah shook her head. “Nope. We only talk about wrestling, that’s it. He’s been very professional.”

“Or he’s just waiting to get you alone,” Tiwa cut in. “Maybe that’s why he invited you to Panama City.”

“He invited both Dre and me. I won’t be alone. Tank’s coming along with me since Dre can’t make it.” She wasn’t sure what Tiwa was trying to insinuate, and though she didn’t like it, she tried not to show it. “Girl you trippin’. Relax. I’m getting married to the man I love. Jey’s already married, I think.”

“You think?” Tiwa repeated, and only then did it dawn on Delilah that she’d never seen a ring on his finger. Still… “He knows better and so do I. I got only one goal in mind, and that’s all I care about.” It had been two weeks since her first match, and she was just getting started with building a reputation for herself within the independent circuit. She was working hard and earning every bit of respect she was gaining, and she really didn’t want to throw all of that away.

“Okay,” said Tiwa. “I’m just looking out for you, girl. Do you, and make sure you’re happy while you’re doing it.”

“I know.” Delilah smiled and looked at her watch. Their break was almost over. “You coulda come with me to Panama City too, ya know.”

“Ha, if I do, who’s gonna cover your shift?” Tiwa said, getting to her feet. “Besides…I got a date on Monday night.”

“Oh. So you’ve finally gotten over your crush on Tank, then?” Delilah smirked as they walked back into the supermarket.

Tiwa gasped and avoided her friend’s teasing stare. “How many times am I gonna tell you, Parrish, it ain’t like that with Tank! It never was.”

“And yet, you’re blushing.”

“…..Bitch, bye.”

—------------------

From her place on the ring apron, Delilah watched in complete awe as Liv Morgan and Becky Lynch practiced in the ring for their match, still a good three hours before Monday Night Raw was set to air. The women were opening the show tonight, and she was very excited to see how it all played out. But watching them rehearse was so much better than anything she could have imagined.

The only thing that would have made her day better was Andre being with her. Of course, they had argued about the trip, in which Tank had tried to step in. He was being completely asinine and paranoid. She would never have stopped him if he had the chance to meet LeBron James or Patrick Mahomes, his favorite athletes. This was a once in a lifetime chance for her, and she really couldn’t understand why he was taking all of this so poorly.

“Now that’s a finisher right there,” Tank interrupted her thoughts as Liv Morgan hit Becky backwards in her signature Oblivion to get the pinfall.

Delilah turned back to look up at the huge Titantron as Liv’s theme song rang out in victory. “This is so cool,” she whispered. How amazing would it be to see her own name in lights that bright?

“Ayyy, look who showed up, uce,” a familiar deep voice sounded from the shadows behind her, and she looked over to see Josh making his way down the ramp. 

Without thinking through it, she rushed towards him and leapt into his arms. “This is so amazing! Thank you so much, oh my god,” she squealed happily, not caring if she sounded like a total fan girl at the moment. Never did she imagine she could ever experience all she had since coming down to Panama City; the backstage access, getting to meet the amazing wrestlers she watched on TV every single week; it was sensory overload for her as a fan.

Josh laughed as her legs tightened around him, supporting the woman in his arms with her round backside in his hands. “You welcome, baby girl. You enjoyin’ yourself?”

It was then, as he set her back on her feet, that Delilah noticed how good he looked in his Nike tech fleece outfit. At the same time, Tank appeared from the corner of her eye, and she quickly took a step back from Josh. “Yes! Everyone’s been so nice. The wrestlers, the officials, it’s been awesome.”

“Good to hear. Wanna go talk to the girls?” Without waiting for an answer, Josh grabbed her by the hand and tugged her toward the ring where Becky and Liv now sat on the apron. They looked over at the approaching trio and waved. “Hey, Jey, hey Tank,” greeted Liv, her eyes skating over Delilah’s form. “Wanna introduce us to your friend?”

Sneaking behind her, Josh shoved the shy woman closer to his colleagues. “This is Delilah Parrish. She’s an indie wrestler in the Pensacola region,” he introduced.

“Oh, fellow hometown girl, huh?” Becky’s friendly nature was infectious as she extended a hand toward the new woman. “Nice to meet you, Delilah. I’m Becky.”

“Delilah. Like Samson, right?” Liv inquired. When Delilah nodded, her smile widened. “Such a cute name. I like it. You stickin’ around for the show tonight?”

“Yeah.” Delilah muttered shyly. It was the exact same tone she had taken with pretty much everyone she had met so far. It was all so overwhelming, she felt like she was in a dream.

“Ay Livvy Liv, you busy?” Josh asked. When she shook her head, he nodded toward Delilah. “How ‘bout you show our guest here how it’s done in the big leagues?”

Liv set her towel aside with a shrug. “Sure, why not?” she answered, turning her gaze to Delilah. “You up for it?”

Shocked, the trainee looked back and forth between them. “Wait, you want me to wrestle her? Right now?” 

“Now’s as good a time as any,” Josh shrugged, raising an eyebrow. “Unless you think you can’t do it.”

Offended, her eyes darkened right away. “Hell yeah, I can do it.”

He stepped closer to her, staring her right down, “Then show me,” he whispered.

Liv leapt back into the ring and backed up, beckoning for Delilah to join her. “Come on, show me what’cha got,” she challenged.

Before she knew what was happening, Delilah was locking up with Liv freaking Morgan in the middle of the ring, listening for her rushed verbal cues as they sparred like old partners. So immersed was she in the match they were constructing, Delilah didn’t notice that Josh and Tank had been joined by a few other men.

“Who’s the girl?”

Turning his head slightly, Josh took his boss’s hand in a handshake and then returned his attention to the action in the ring. “She’s one of Tank’s,” the Samoan spoke of the trainer who was now shouting instructions to his pupil from outside the ring, while Becky cheered on Liv on the other side.

Triple H watched with a critical eye as the new woman launched herself off of the ropes and knocked Liv to the mat with an impressive, albeit stiff clothesline. “She’s unpolished,” he deduced.

Josh shrugged. “She’ll get better,” he assured the older man. “Her very first match was just two weeks ago and she killed that shit, man. Two hundred thousand views on YouTube already,” he added, a hint of admiration creeping into his voice.

“I see.” The multi-time World Champion nodded his head, his gaze still fixed on the story the women were trying to tell in the ring.

As Liv wedged her horizontally between the ropes by the turnbuckle, Delilah glanced to her left, her heart nearly jumping into her throat when she saw Triple H of all people, watching intently a few feet away, as though waiting for her to do something special. She was so distracted that she didn’t hear Liv’s reminder to brace herself for the impact of her double-knee attack. Liv’s knees and shins colliding with her sternum knocked the air right out of her, causing her to collapse hard in the corner, limbs twisting everywhere as she hit the canvas.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” Liv screeched, as Delilah rolled to her side and slowly made her way to her knees with a moan. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It was my fault,” she puffed, taking the other woman’s extended hand to pull her up.

“Yeah, Triple H has that kind of effect,” Liv said, winking at her. “I was the exact same way the first time I saw him.”

Risking another glance at the base of the ramp, Delilah breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that Hunter had left them alone, but dread quickly filled her insides as she wondered what he’d thought of her performance.

“What the hell was that?” Josh’s laughing voice interrupted the ladies’ conversation. Delilah blushed wildly and ducked under the bottom rope. “I panicked,” she admitted softly. “So tell me the truth,” she said. “How bad did I fuck up my only chance to impress that man?”

Josh helped her out of the ring and set her down on her feet. “You tried. Let’s just leave it at that.” Her nervous expression caused him to wrap an arm around her waist for a quick hug. “But ay, you went for it, and Hunter appreciates that,” he whispered.

The feel of his breath on her ear sent shivers down Delilah’s spine. She shook it off quickly, deciding that she was still being a fangirl, that it was just his breathtaking presence that still affected her. She would have felt the exact same way if it had been Andre holding her like this.

Mistaking her inner turmoil for something else, Tank nudged her from her other side. “You did good, kid. I could tell Hunter liked it,” he said.

The uncharacteristic compliment from her usually no-nonsense teacher caused Delilah to blush, but before she could respond, a stage hand called for Tank to follow him up the ramp, leaving her all alone with Josh. She felt very self-conscious as she walked next to him towards the backstage area.

Somewhere along the way, Josh had invaded Delilah’s thoughts and fantasies on more than a few occasions. Never, since getting with Andre, had she ever thought about another man while making love to her fiancé, until lately. She wanted to blame it on seeing him every week on TV, recalling his deep, seductive voice on the phone, all of which left her imagining things she never dreamed of. Yeah, he seemed to be a bit touchy feely, but he had never made an outright pass at her, and had done nothing beyond a few flirty words and gestures. Maybe she was overthinking it too much and just needed to relax.

Josh looked down at her, trying not to stare into her tank top from his considerable vantage point. She was engaged to be married, but he couldn’t seem able to tell himself that it meant she was off limits. He was drawn to how unaware she was of her beauty and her sexiness, and it made her that much more attractive in his eyes. “You quiet. What’s on your mind?” he asked her, forcing himself out of his wayward thoughts.

Delilah followed him into a huge locker room. “Just thinkin’ about how surreal all of this is. It’s one thing to see it on TV. It’s a whole ‘nother thing to see it all up close…” she trailed off, shaking her head in awe.

Grabbing two bottles of water, Josh directed her to a table and sat across from her, opening her bottle before sliding it to her. “Yeah. Wait until you become an actual employee.”

Scoffing, she drank from the bottle and leaned back in her chair. “Right. Like that’s gonna happen.”

“What makes you think that?”

With a sigh, she looked around the empty room. “I don’t know. For all intents and purposes, I’m still a rookie,” she reasoned. “I got so much more to learn. I don’t even look like the typical WWE Superstar. My hair’s too damn big and curly. I haven’t put on enough muscle yet.” Casting a glance over her own body, she sighed again. “And I’m gonna need implants, which I definitely can’t afford,” she added.

Josh looked her over, zeroing in on her chest. After seeing her in her wrestling outfit a couple of weeks ago, he was convinced there was nothing wrong with her hot body. “You don’t need no implants,” he assured her.

Shock washed over Delilah at his blatant assessment. “Okay, um, so where else are we going after this?” she asked nervously, hoping to break the suffocating tension building between them.

“Whatchu doin’, Delilah?” Josh ignored her question, watching her brush her hair out of her face for the hundredth time, the glint of the rock on her engagement ring seemingly taunting him every time she did so. “What exactly are you puttin’ in all the hours training and wrestling for? To achieve your dream? Or to get away from your fiancé?”

Recoiling a little, Delilah narrowed her eyes at what he had asked. Why was he being so intrusive? “Dude…” she stammered, her defenses going right up. "I’m not…I’m not sure how that’s any of your business.”

“Baby girl, this business is everything to me,” Josh said to her, his tone strangely serious. “It’s my whole life. And I get a kick out of seeing other people who love it too and get immersed in it for all the right reasons.” Shaking his head, he crossed his massive arms over his broad chest. “I need to know which side you’re on, so I’ll know whether I’m wasting my time with you or not.”

“Wasting your time? What the fuck…I never asked for your attention, Josh!” she shot defensively, staggered by this sudden change to their conversation. "To be honest, I don’t even know why you are showing any interest in me.” Behind her, she heard the door open, and she forced herself to lower her voice, even though she was seething at his audacity. “Maybe I should ask you. What’s in this for you, huh? Why me? There are a million other new wrestlers that you could be focusing on.“

Shrugging a shoulder in agreement, Josh leaned back in his chair and let his dark gaze scan her from head to toe. "Maybe,” he conceded, a smirk playing on his lips. “But it’s not them I wanna fuck.”

The words struck her like a blow to the gut. Did she hear him right? Was he suggesting that he wanted to sleep with her? That he was as attracted to her as she was to him? Did he fantasize about her too? Did he forget she was engaged? Wasn’t he married? How could he make such an open confession?

Before she could say something, the room began to fill up with members of the Raw roster, Josh stood up and gestured for her to do the same. “Come on. Let’s go find Tank,”  he said to her.

--------------

Thoughts?

🏷️: @jxtina-86 @wrestlingprincess80 @fame-ass-ers @southerngirl41 @alyyaanna @squishyguishy @jstarr86 @murrylove @thewarlordsworld @mzv11 @cozyaliensuperstar7 @nayys-world @hunnidmilly @cyberdejos2 @papireigns-05 @niknakbucks92 @captainwithoutmakingitlove @sovereigngoth @aisharmi @kennedi0818 @alichesmi @thesamoanqueen @herwickedlittlesins @questionable-behaviour @tribalchiefreigns @2-muchsauce @thatbxtchsblog @raya-hunter01 @marchi36753 @lovelysuccess @christinabae @wooahmiri @thatonecarebear @tabletheofhead @rheaanddamianfan @vebner37 @hanley1577 @princessesareforsuckers @-naturally @joannasteez @bbygirlky18 @lilucey @theninthwonder @melaninsugababy @chocovibesonly @msbluehaz3 @scarlettnoir01 @heerah34 @empressdede @tbmotw @darkangelchronicles @visionarymode @marasdeathnote @aintnorainbows @meggylynnloves @shantinextdoor @harlemblipster @trc-punzel @afterdarkprincess @nbanenefrmdao @sassginaswanmills @purplehairgawdess @holisticcoach @girlwhogaf @royalkay23 @heyitsnajabrinee @stoner2k @reci1996 @catxo @iamimanim @lookmais @ts1mp0ne @shonny09 @lizzyd1ish @m3llowww @skyesthebomb @final1miya @mzv11 @kia1996 @randomuser0711 @yourtribalqueen @caramelcleopatraa @katymae12344 @that-one-anxious-mango @yana3sworld @ajenae @truefant4sy @thetribalqueen @bhjszsdxc @paigereeder @christinabae @justazzi @maknaehyucks @mindairy @headoftheetable @paigereeder

[sc0tters]

So Long | Quinn Hughes

summary: after years of no contact you finally reach out to Quinn, but in the way he’d least expect.

request: yes/no

warnings: swearing, mentions of death.

word count: 2.03k

authors note: so I’ve never written anything like this before. But it felt interesting and I rolled with it. Going through that “I don’t know if I like what I write” phase again so just bare with me for the next few days.

You were meant to be the girl where things didn’t work out.

Quinn met you during the summer of 2015. You were both still in high school and your family had just made the move from Tennessee to Michigan, where your father purchased the new lake house.

Quickly you two became as thick as thieves constantly at each others side. That was how your summers were when you two built onto your friendship constantly growing closer than you ever thought possible.

So it was no surprise when you both landed up at the university of Michigan where you were quickly asked to be Quinn’s girlfriend.

The whole Hughes family adored you much like how your family adored him.

You were in the car arguing about how Quinn intended on moving to Vancouver to join his new team, the Canucks “don’t you love me anymore?” Quinn felt his throat grow raw as the argument seemed to ensue.

Tears ran down your face as your heart broke at the question “of course I love you baby,” you reached out to grab his hand as you wanted to feel some kind of comfort from all of this but he instead decided to pull away.

Quinn stared out of the window watching the raindrops dance on the glass seeming unaware of what was going on inside of the car “then why are you breaking up with me?” His question rang through your ears.

There were many reasons that came to your mind, you were mainly trying to protect him as you hoped that he would hate you after this all. But instead you couldn’t reveal the truth “we just aren’t meant to be together.” In the logical part of your brain you knew that it was true, but your heart wanted to erase this conversation from your brain forever.

Your comment only hurt him more “you can’t mean that.” You were the first girl that Quinn opened his heart up to entirely, it was all in the palm of your hand and that terrified the eldest Hughes boy.

Quinn couldn’t even look you in the eye as he heard your sobs over the hum of the engine “I want you to be happy-” you made it sound like he needed more than you “I am happy goddammit!” Quinn yelled turning around as he flung his arms in frustration.

It made you choke on your tears as you shook your head “I need you to be happy without me.” It was tough for you to admit but some sense of comfort was going to be brought to you if you knew that Quinn had moved on.

It had been years since that moment in the car. Quinn tried to move on from you, but your abrupt exit from his life left the hockey player wondering how this is his fault.

Despite Ellen and Jim’s efforts to tell Quinn that you leaving was a choice that you made, it seemed to always fall on deaf ears.

So when your moms car pulled up to the Hughes lake house, it was safe to say that the whole family was taken by surprise when only your mom seemed to leave it.

She looked tired as her cheeks seemed tear stained and she carried a stack of letters that represented the way she felt carrying the world on her shoulders.

Ellen was quick to open the door trying to urge your mom inside for a coffee so they could catch up “I can’t stay.” Your mom sighed shaking her head.

Her hand seemed to shake as she held out five letters “I came to drop these off.” She explained holding them out for Ellen to grab.

It was clear that the blonde was confused but she still listened “send your family my best okay?” Ellen’s voice was soft as she could tell that something was up.

All your mom could do was nod before she made her way back to the car trying to avoid being in tears as she knew you would have hated seeing her cry.

Quinn was quick to run to his mom to see what happened “what did she want?” He enquired trying to figure out what was going on.

Whilst Ellen tried to piece the bits of information together she shrugged “I don’t actually know.” She mumbled realising that each of the letters were addressed to someone in the family: Ellen, Jim, Lukey, Big Shot, Love.

Ellen held out the final one to Quinn “I think that this one is for you.” She sent her son a comforting smile as the boy grabbed it from her hand.

His finger ran over the name inked out in black pen. You were the only one who called him that and it was in your writing, a style he would recognise from anywhere.

Quinn knew you didn’t like letters, they were weird and you always seemed to thing they were meant to tell some sad sob story. So it made him nervous that you had written one.

Ellen watched as Quinn shook his head “I don’t want to read it.” It had been all these years since you two last spoke, so why were you reaching out like this.

Surely if you wanted to talk you would have driven up to the house yourself “just give her a chance.” Ellen urged him as something in her gut told her that this was serious.

Rolling his eyes Quinn figured he’d listen to his mom “fine but don’t be surprised when I come back and tell you that it’s stupid.” Given his knowledge of your dislike for letters, Quinn hoped that he would find some kind of comfort there.

It was warm as the sun shone on the water “what are you thinking about?” Quinn asked as your feet danced in the water beneath the dock.

You smiled as you looked up at him “I always feel close to you when I’m by the water.” You confessed seeing his cheeks turn pink.

Quinn rubbed his elbow against yours “you make it sound like the water is our place.” Quinn couldn’t help but laugh at his comment before he went silent seeing that you looked like a lightbulb had gone off above his head.

It made you smile when you thought about it “when you miss me visit the water, and I promise I’ll be there too.” You proposed sticking your pinky finger out to him “you know what? Okay.” Quinn shrugged licking his finger with yours as he smiled.

𝐻𝑒𝓎 𝒬𝓊𝒾𝓃𝓃,

𝐼𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓁𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝐼 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓁𝓎 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃’𝓉 𝓂𝒶𝒹𝑒 𝒾𝓉. 𝒜 𝓈𝑒𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝓀𝑒𝓅𝓉 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑒𝑒 𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓀𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝑒𝒻𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒱𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓋𝑒𝓇, 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝑔𝓃𝑜𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓁𝑒𝓊𝓀𝒶𝑒𝓂𝒾𝒶.

Quinn felt his heart drop as he read out the first line “what?” He asked feeling emotions all come flooding into his brain as he thought back to that summer. How on earth could he have not picked up that the love of his life was sick?

𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓁𝓎 𝓌𝑜𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝑒𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒾𝒸𝑒. 𝒲𝒽𝒾𝓁𝓈𝓉 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃’𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝓈𝓌𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝒾𝓇𝓈𝓉 𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝑔𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝒶 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓀. 𝐼𝓃 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝓉𝒽 𝓃𝑜𝒷𝑜𝒹𝓎 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒾𝒸𝑒𝒹, 𝓂𝓎 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓎. 𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇.

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑜𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝐼 𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓀𝑒 𝓊𝓅 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝐼 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓊𝓈, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒶𝓈 𝐼 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝐼’𝓂 𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝒩𝒶𝓃𝒸𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒩𝑜𝓇𝒶 (𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝓌𝑜 𝓃𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓈 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒 𝑔𝑜 𝑜𝓃 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊.) 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝓉𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝓂𝓎 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓈𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒾𝓉 𝑜𝓊𝓉. 𝒲𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝐼 𝒻𝒾𝓇𝓈𝓉 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓃𝓉 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝑔𝓃𝑜𝓈𝒾𝓈 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓂𝓈 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝒶𝒸𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝓂𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒹𝒾𝑒 𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃 𝐼 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒𝒹. 𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁 𝒶 𝓈𝑒𝓃𝓈𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒻𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝑒. 𝒩𝑜𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊.

Quinn felt a tear roll down his cheek before it dropped to land on the letter. The hockey player still loved you, and it brought him some comfort that your time with him left just as big of an impact on your life as it did his.

𝐼𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝒜𝓁𝑒𝓍 𝑜𝓇 𝒞𝑜𝓁𝑒 𝐼 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒽𝒶𝓊𝓃𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓂𝓎 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀 𝐼’𝓂 𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇𝓎. 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃’𝓉 𝒶𝓁𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝓎 𝑔𝑜𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓉, 𝐼’𝓂 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝒹. 𝒮𝑜 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝒽, 𝐼 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒷𝑒𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓉 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃’𝓉 𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑒 𝐼’𝓂 𝓌𝓇𝑜𝓃𝑔.

As unintentional as it was, Quinn couldn't help it when a laugh left his lips mainly when he read that last line. You could have told him anything, literally, this was your letter as you got to say your final goodbye. And here you were telling him you won at something that was never meant to be a competition.

𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝒷𝑒𝓎𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓊𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒, 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝒾𝓁𝓈𝓉 𝐼’𝓂 𝒷𝑜𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝓁𝑜𝓊𝒹𝓈 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒶𝓉𝒸𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝒶𝓎𝒷𝑒 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓎 𝒶𝓈 𝒸𝒶𝓅𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓎.

Not even two days ago had Quinn gotten the call, that day when he became captain, was the present. And it seemed to hurt him that two realities he never put together, he never wanted to put those two together. Where you were dead and he was captain.

𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓈𝑒 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒. 𝐵𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓁𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝓅𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝓏𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓅𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝑜.

𝐼 𝓌𝑜𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝑒 𝓉𝑜𝑜 𝒻𝒶𝓇 𝒻𝑒𝓉𝒸𝒽𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓈𝑒 𝓂𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒶 𝓌𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓁𝑒𝓈𝓈𝓁𝓎. 𝒟𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓉𝓇𝓎 𝓉𝑜 𝒶𝒸𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝐼’𝓂 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹, 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹 𝒾𝓈 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝒷. 𝒴𝑜𝓊’𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉𝓉𝒶 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒻𝓊𝓃 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝓌𝑜 𝑜𝒻 𝓊𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼’𝓂 𝑔𝑜𝓃𝑒.

Quinn didn't like the idea of moving on before, but now he definitely hated it. How was he meant to be okay moving on when there was an alternate universe where you never got sick and he was still with you "'s not fair." Quinn grumbled to himself shaking his head as he clearly disagreed with what you were trying to tell him.

𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒸𝓇𝓎 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒶 𝒻𝑒𝓌 𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓀𝓈, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓃 ��𝑜𝓊 𝑔𝑜𝓉𝓉𝒶 𝓂𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝑜𝑜. 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈𝓁𝓎 𝓌𝑜𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝒻𝓊𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝒶𝓊𝓃𝓉 𝒾𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊’𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓈𝒶𝒹.

𝑀𝓎 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝓇𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓀𝒾𝒹𝓈 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝒸𝑒𝓈, 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝑒. 𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓂𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓈𝑒 𝓈𝓅𝑜𝓉𝓈, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹𝓇𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓀𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝒻𝒻 𝒶𝓈 𝓌𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒹𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓀𝒾𝒹𝓈.

You always wanted to be a mother, it was something you dreamed about doing as you grew up. Quinn wanted to be a father as well and that caused you two to very quickly realize in this essence that your futures were more than likely connected to each other.

𝐼𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓈 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝓂𝑒, 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝑔𝑜 𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒷𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝑜𝑜.

𝒩𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓅 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓂𝑒 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓊𝒹,

𝓎/𝓃 𝓍

Quinn didn’t know how to feel as he reread your letter trying to make sure that he had not missed anything that you had written. Tears rolled down his cheeks as his hands shook so hard he let go of your letter “shit!” Quinn realised what he had done as he reached out to grab the letter that was brought down to the lake by the wind. There was nothing left for him to do besides for just to stare at the letter as it absorbed water letting the paper get wet, much like his cheeks.

The battle between the water and the paper finally seemed to end as the letter paper began to rip.

As sobs left his lips he rocked his body back and fourth coming to terms with something he never thought he would have to worry about.

You were officially gone.

[quinnylouhughesx43]

Peter

based off of Taylor Swift’s song from The Tortured Poets Department

warning: a bit sad, longing for ex-lover, use of y/n

Ethan Edwards x fem!Reader

summary: Ethan and reader childhood friends —> lovers —> break up —> reader heartbreakingly waiting for his return.

author’s note: the photos are intended to tell the story them growing up. the last last picture are two quotes from the book “better than the movies” by Lynn Painter. (can be found on Amazon, books a million, barnes & noble, etc. links were too long to post)

Ethan and (y/n)’s older childhood friends always joked the two would fall in love one day. It was always a big laugh between the two of you because what business do 8 year olds have thinking about love?

In a blink of an eye you’re dancing at your end of the year eighth grade formal together, your heart has never reacted the way it was at that specific moment. Confused and a bit scared you kept your head staring at the floor while your hands were firmly placed on Ethan’s shoulders. His hands placed awkwardly on your waist. He cleared throat and paused both of your movements. “Hey (y/n)? Can I do something and you promise you not get mad if you don’t like it? We can just forget about it after if it’s weird.” His words were rushed and hands shaking. Your eyes connected with his, a slight nod yes to confirm you were okay with whatever it was he was asking for. As if the world moved in slow motion and no one else was in the school’s lobby, where the formal was happening but the two of you, Ethan ducked his head down just the few inches he needed to in order to give a quick kiss.

The first kiss for both of you.

Awkward, yet not weird for either of you. The beginning of what turned into a long beautiful journey. Until it wasn’t beautiful.

꧁꧂

“(Y/N) I am so tired of this repetitive argument. It happens over and over. I got accepted to Michigan and I got a scholarship for hockey. Their program is notorious for building up their athletes and getting them drafted. Drafted! You’ve known since we were kids that the NHL is what I wanted for myself.” Ethan tried to keep himself composed until he couldn’t. His desire, compassion, and dedication to chasing his dream often overshadowed his love and dedication to you. His childish mannerisms peaking through. “I just want to know where I fit into this plan? This future of yours.” You tried to keep your voice strong and unwavering but just like each time before the lump in your throat prevented you from even being able to breathe properly.

He sat down on the edge of your bed. Quiet minutes passed before he finally spoke again. “Maybe there isn’t an us in the future..” His words are so quiet you aren’t sure if you heard him correctly. “E?” You whimpered. Tears streaming one after the other. He didn’t look at you right away. Knowing if he did his resolve would shatter.

Taking a deep breath, starting over. Looking at you after a couple minutes had passed by and leaning over to wipe your cheeks dry. “I know this is going to be hard to hear. It’s killing me to even say it. It killed me to even think about it recently. I’m going to be gone for a long time for school. I won’t be returning home. My parents will be coming there over the holidays. It will be easier with training. I can’t ask you to sit here while you’re going to school yourself and be tied to me. Especially when we will never see each other. Neither of us have the money for traveling to and from. I’ve been so physically sick thinking about leaving you. We’ve only argued since I decided but honey this is what’s best for me and my dreams. I’m sorry I’m being so selfish but I can’t pass this up. If I stay here I take a chance at never having an opportunity at the NHL at least I know I’ll have an opportunity there.” Your tears stopped at some point. Sadness turned to numbness. Lost to the words he was saying.

“(Y/N/N). I can go and grow up while I’m gone. Get drafted. Or not. Then I’ll come find you if you’re still single. . We can live our dreams then. I just can’t ask you to sit here and be miserably alone.” Pressing a quick kiss to your forehead he left your house. That was the last thing he said to you in person. You didn’t see him again before he left. He tried but you declined. Not wanting to hurt anymore than you already were.

꧁꧂

You just watched Ethan’s NHL debut with the New Jersey Devil two weeks ago. Pride swelled in your heart for him but heartbreak also overtook you. He never came back for you. You’re both 24 now, he could’ve come back after college since he was drafted pre-degree but he never did. Since ‘goodbye for now’ turned into ‘goodbye’ you sat down at your desk and started writing him a letter. You were going to mail it to his mom’s house. She can mail it to him.

Dear Ethan,

I hoped you'd return with your feet on the ground, tell me all that you'd learned because love is never lost when perspective is earned and you said you would come and get me, but we were only 17. My shelf life on the fantasies has expired. Please forgive me, Ethan, I really tried to hold on to the days you were mine. But the young girl turned into a woman who sits by her window has turned out the light.

You said you were going to grow up and you were going to come find me. Promises that were oceans deep, but never to keep.

Sincerely,

(Y/N)

Little did you know he was back in town at his parents’ house and received the letter himself. He was there to see you. He was back for you now that he was settled and could care for you both properly. But he was too late. You had shut the door on him. You stopped supporting him quietly. Stopped following the scores of the games and watching. . Ethan played the rest of the season terribly, not having his number fan, supporter there. It didn’t matter if he knew or not that she was always cheering him on. It just solidified for him, he no longer had his rock. His reason for being. That he fucked up all those years ago. That he no longer had a reason for what he thought was his dream. His dream was really your dreams. He wanted the future you wanted with him and now he will never have it all because of his selfishness back at 17.

[spicyspiders]

not a chance to slow down

Peter Quill x male reader smut

1.8k words

Tags: unprotected sex and age difference

A/N: I’ve been obsessed with Star-Lord since I played the Guardians of the Galaxy game around the beginning of the year. The one written about here though is from the MCU and was pretty much inspired by some gifs I saw and couldn’t stop thinking about lol. I’ll probably end up writing something about Adam Warlock too because how could I not when Will Poulter looks as good as he does.

The first time you spoke to Peter, it was in passing. You were tired and cranky, having driven many miles to get home during your summer break from school. You were on your last box when he came out of his house.

“Nice shirt,” you said casually when he walked by you.

“Thanks!” His eyes darted down to the box you held, “you need some help with that?”

“This is the last one, thankfully,” you answered and used one hand to wipe the sweat that had gathered on your brow.

“I wish I knew you needed help, I definitely would’ve been out here to help you,” the man responded.

You couldn’t help but eye him over. With how broad his shoulders looked, you’re sure he would’ve been able to help without getting as sweaty as you did.

“I appreciate that, but it’s okay,” you said, sending him a smile, “that mail does look pretty heavy after all.”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle,” the man responded, and raised the few pieces of mail like a dumbbell, making his bicep flex.

It was probably from the time you spent in your car making you go a little crazy, but the man’s joke made you laugh harder than you expected. The other man’s face went red as you laughed, but after a second, he almost looked smug, like he was happy his joke had such a reaction.

“So,” the man says when your laughter has died down, “you here for the summer?”

“Yeah. After a long semester, I’m finally home,” you said, sending a grateful smile toward your house.

“Well, I’m happy to be the first person to welcome you back,” he says, sending you a soft smile.

You didn’t want to tell the man that he wasn’t the first person you saw since you’ve been home, instead, a smile matching the one the man wore landed on your lips. “Who do I have to thank for such a warm welcome?”

“Peter Quill, at your service,” he said, adding a bow.

You couldn’t help but laugh again at the display. You introduced yourself around the fit of giggles as Peter went on to laugh at himself.

“Let me know if you need any help unpacking,” Peter called from his door after you walked up your respective driveways. “Hopefully I’ll be seeing a lot more of you,” Peter said as he stood in the open doorway.

“I hope so too,” you responded, sending one last smile his way before you closed the door. The smile on your face lasted until you got to your bedroom, and fell once you were reminded of all of the boxes you needed to unpack.

-

Though you were tempted to walk out of your house and head next door to see if Peter would come to help you unpack your boxes, you didn’t end up seeing him until the next day.

“Are you on mail duty too?” Peter asked as he leaned against his mailbox.

“It’s one of my most important responsibilities. Nice robe, by the way,” it was pretty boring as far as robes go with its plain white color, but you weren’t about to tell Peter that.

“You like it?” Peter twists himself to the left and right to make sure you have a full look at the garment, “I just bought it.”

“Am I the first to see you in it?” You ask in surprise.

“You are. I saved it just for you.”

You let out a chuckle, though you weren’t sure if Peter was being serious, “what’s it gonna be tomorrow?”

Peter crosses his arms over his chest, looking away with an intense look of thought on his face, “I could break out my birthday suit, but that’s reserved for my bedroom and the bathroom.”

You look at him with your brows raised, a slow smile spreading across your face, “I think I would get pretty lonely if you got arrested for doing that, so I’d think of something else to wear.”

“Or you could come up to my room and I could just show you, that way I don’t have to think of what I should wear to impress you,” Peter said with a smirk.

“I know thinking can be hard at your age, so that sounds like a good idea.”

Peter’s smirk morphed into a look of offense, “how old do you think I am?”

“You were wearing a Metallica shirt yesterday.”

“So? They’re a good band, that doesn’t make me old,” Peter responded.

“How old are you?”

Peter looked away, and glanced at the mail you held in your hand before looking back at you, “40,” he answered before looking away again.

“You’re not that old at least,” you responded, smiling when Peter shook his head.

You couldn’t ignore the nervous feeling that started to sink in when you stepped up to the man, “I have to put this inside then I’ll be over, okay?”

Peter nodded, sending you a small smile, “better hurry, you don’t want me getting any older, do you?”

-

You meant it when you said Peter wasn’t that old. It even made more things about him make sense, like his taste in shirts, and the way his eyes crinkled yesterday when he laughed at his joke. What didn’t make sense, or really, what you didn’t expect, was the way that he fucked you.

It almost reminded you of the guy you went home with last semester. Like the guy you went home with, Peter fucked you fast and hard. You honestly expected it to be over just as quickly as that last time, but when Peter rolled over onto his back and sat you down on his cock, you let out a punched out noise of surprise.

“Tired?” You asked.

Peter grinned, “I’m not as young as I used to be,” he said, running his hands up and down your thighs. When he pulled his hands away, he crossed them behind his head, looking relaxed.

You watched in confusion as Peter lay there. When his eyes fell shut, you clenched down on his cock, hoping to get the man back into action, but he stayed still. When you clenched back down on his throbbing cock, that’s when Peter’s eyes opened again to watch you.

“That all you’re going to do?” Is that enough to get you off?” He asked with a smirk.

“Fuck you,” you snipped back. You knew from the first time that you brought yourself up with your thighs that they would quickly start to ache, but it only spurred you on. You fell back down after bringing yourself up with a moan, feeling as if the cock inside you went deeper than the poison that you were just in.

“There you go, baby,” Peter said, his smirk now a toothy smile, “I knew you had it in you,” he said, still just fucking laying there.

In retaliation for his stillness, you reached down to twist at one of his nipples with your fingers, but it only made Peter let out a groan filled with pleasure. You took to settling your hands on his broad chest, finding purchase to help fuck yourself down on his cock.

You didn’t expect after only having met yesterday that you would be bouncing up and down on his cock the next day. You could see when you met him yesterday how broad his shoulders and chest were, but now, seeing it uncovered from the shirt he wore yesterday, and the bathrobe he wore today, you could see the way his muscles were covered with a soft layer of fat.

Your head fell back as you let out moans as the cock inside you hit your prostate as you filled yourself to the brim over and over again.

When the inevitable burn in your thighs began to set in, you paused to lean down and press your lips to Peter’s. You moaned into his mouth, feeling his cock throb against your prostate, even as you sat still.

Peter answered with a noise of his own and moved his hands back down to your hips. He traced his fingers over the sensitive skin of your hips bones, making you shudder, and once the kiss was over, his hands moved to the globes of your ass.

Peter gripped the skin tightly and used the harsh grip to lift you before he loosened his grip so you could fall back down.

You felt your body go boneless in his arms from the effort that you had put in, but with the way that Peter lifted you so he could fuck his cock in and out of your hole, you were happy to let go under the effort he gave.

You panted into his sweaty neck, letting out little grunts as you tried to still fuck yourself back down on his cock. You could feel yourself approaching the edge, too focused on that to respond when Peter turned his neck to connect your lips.

In reprisal, Peter bit harshly into your bottom lip before he soothed the mark over with his tongue. The headboard slammed into the wall as Peter thrust over and over into your tight, warm hole. The sound was accompanied by the slick sound of sweaty skin on skin.

When you leaned up, Peter followed so he could stay close and connect your lips. You tried your best to keep up, but ended up with your forehead pressed to his as you panted into his mouth once the kisses were over.

With one hand still braced on his chest, you used the other to wrap your fingers around your cock. After a few tugs of your cock to the rhythm of Peter’s thrusts, your back arched and your head fell back as your orgasm washed over you.

You opened your eyes during the aftershocks as Peter chased you into orgasm. He held your asscheeks in a bruising grip as he thrust inside your hole. You almost wanted to open your mouth and let out a whimper of pain at the grip he held you in, but he soon relaxed as he fell over the edge.

Peter gave one final thrust when he let go of your ass, instead moving his hands to your back so he could pull you close. He groaned over and over again, each noise ending with a breathy moan as he came deep inside you.

You buried a hand in his sweaty hair as he ducked his head down into the crook of your neck. Peter held you close even after his cock had gone soft, his only movement being a slight shift for his cock to slip free.

You felt warm and sticky in his arms. You knew Peter had a mess that coated his chest from where your cock had shot ropes of cum, and you knew that you were equally messy where Peter’s cock had been, but you didn’t want to move.

Peter fell back down to the bed with a groan before pulling your body down on top of his. Though he wrapped you tightly in his arms, you still couldn’t contain your shiver as everything on and leaking out of you began to cool.

Peter gave a low chuckle, “did I not warm you up enough?”

You pressed your smile into the sweaty crook of his neck, “I might need your bathrobe.”

[calissto]

On Writing Every Day

Possibly the most ubiquitous piece of writing advice: write everyday. Write every day or you’re not a writer, your work has no value, you’ll never get good, you’ll never go pro. Maybe I am at a bit of a disadvantage because I’ve never published a book, but I feel like I have some place to question this motion. 

Don’t write every day. Write often.

Because I agree; writing is like a muscle; you must train it. You have to exercise your vocabulary, your voice, your prose — all as often as you can. It’s essential. But you can do all of these things without gluing yourself to the chair each and every day. Some of us just can’t do that — some of us have obligations; a job, school, sickness, or emergencies. Things come up. And some of us just don’t want to. And that’s okay, too. 

I say write often because it’s a promise you can keep. No matter how pressed for time, you can construct a schedule around often. You can stick to that. Practice becomes joyous instead of overwhelming. You will improve without being weighed down by guilt clouding your judgment, adding on to the already compounding series of worries and doubts you have about your identity as a writer anyway. 

Often can look like this: every other day, a few days a week, a few days a month. Often is up to you. It’s a malleable guideline, and that’s why I like it. It’s about constant practice — routinely coming to dance with your writerly spirit without letting it die nor allowing it to overshadow everything else you are. You can be a writer and other things, too. It’s essential you are other things, too, otherwise you pigeonhole yourself and dull any unique perspective you may bring to the vast, ever-broadening literary table. Have something to share with your peers. Something to bestow. Besides, some of us have dreams besides writing we would like to pursue, and we have every right to pursue them. 

I think writing (well) is so demanding we sometimes forget writing is an incredibly forgiving art. It doesn’t usually feel like it. Writing is difficult (because it is everything) and mystifying and capricious. It feels like the most unforgiving art (because it is: it can be forgiving and unforgiving all at the same time, because it is everything). The muse coquettishly woos us one day then sets us on fire the next. You can have amazing ideas and, propelled by the whirlwind it conjures in your mind, sit down to write and hate everything you put down. The inner critic can be restricting, mean, impossible to satisfy. Plots can get dizzyingly convoluted and messy (and sometimes they don’t come at all! Yay!), wips take years and decades to perfect. You can spend hours, days, weeks, months, years in confusion as to what the fuck you’re even meant to be doing in order to make your story work. Just thinking about all this makes me tired. Writing can be grueling.

But it is also forgiving. 

We can take our time. We can fix our stories again and again and again. We can wait until we're ready for the world to see it.

A contradictory mistress, writing is. The truth is your writing hands will not fall off if you choose to take some time off. You do not really forget to write creatively. Oh, you can get rusty, and it can take some time to get your groove back, but the talent you’ve accumulated (and, perhaps, have been born with) does not evaporate out of thin air just because you step away from your word processor. I, myself, have stepped away from writing for large swaths of time only to return just as strong as I was before. If this is indeed a problem for you, I suggest reading more often — just so you can remain close to writing without actually doing it. You can stay familiar and play with language and characters and plotting without actually doing anything— watch essays on movies and characters. Stay engaged. Don’t feel like your talents will be irrevocably blunted by a break, no matter how long it is.

I often think writers are their own jailers, while other writers you associate with and look up to can function as fellow wardens; what exactly is gonna happen if you don’t write everyday? I’ve come to really detest writing “rules.” There are no rules — they aren’t even rules to be broken. There are guidelines and things that have worked in the past. The trick is to learn what has worked for others, why, and what works for you. Mix and match at your own discretion. The life of a writer is often a solitary, lonesome affair. Not just because you do it yourself, but because you are your own god; a huge part of being a writer is fashioning things for yourself, coming up with your own rules, if you dare to call them as such. You conjure up worlds for your own amusement. So, the way we find ourselves chained to the so-called rules and those who espouse them has become kinda hilarious to me.

Also, go ahead and accept this: a lot of what defines good writing is completely out of your hands. What is popular and lauded as a masterpiece today may be rejected and ignored tomorrow. There are principles to help you bridge the gap of generations — compelling characters, thoughtful plotting, and, oh, idk, basic understanding of storytelling elements etc, but we all will have our own personal talents as writers. Rest assured, you’ll be an acquired taste, so go ahead and study your own talents and strengths as a word person. What are the things you love about writing? What do you like to zero in on? What do you look forward to? Focus on those things, and just try to have a basic grasp of other, essential things.

The point is this: if writing really is that important to you, it will be in your life somehow. You won’t have to make room so much as it will wedge itself into one of the movie theater seats in your mind. Your mind will wander to your wips. You’ll think of your characters at random times. You’ll picture your settings and scenes will just randomly come to you. Don’t worry about it so much! Write often, stay engaged, but if you need a break, take one.

[jinkoh]

 tell me what’s wrong, little bug

kevin x gn!reader

wc: 1.5k, tags: hurt/comfort, childhoodfriend/neighbor!AU, y/n is in their last year of school, mentions of a friendship break up & college struggles, older brother!Q

a/n: i wrote this at 2 am when i couldn't sleep so it's rlly just self-indulgent comfort tbh

masterlist

“I knew I’d find you here,” Kevin said as he sat next to you in the tall grass near the meadow where a bunch of cows were chewing on the lush green.

“You’re back,” you stated, and even though you wanted to be surprised and excited about his return after not seeing him since he’d briefly come back from college for your birthday months ago, you can’t seem to find the emotions within you. You were tired, your eyes still feeling puffy from crying and lack of sleep.

“Mhm,” he hummed, “Someone told me there’s a little bug at home in dire need of counseling.”

“My brother called you?” You scrunched up your face, too embarrassed by the fact that Changmin had tattled to him to realize that he’d come back, driven all those miles, just for you. 

Kevin lightly nudged your shoulder with his own. “He means well. You know he really loves you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“And so do I,” he added with a little grin, and you knew he meant like your brother does, like a sibling. It’d always been like that, you’d never been anything but family to him. And yet it still managed to make your heart ache. But what was one more ache on top of everything already weighing you down?

“I know,” you said again, not meeting his gaze.

“So, tell me what’s wrong, little bug.”

You wanted to tell him, you really did. It had always come easier to talk to Kevin when something was bothering you. No matter how much you loved your brother and no matter how much you knew he cared, there was something about Kevin that made it feel less intimidating to open up.

But right now, it was still impossibly hard. Just the thought of trying to put it into words had your throat clogging up.

“Just…school,” you said as if that could summarize the way everything had been falling apart around you, your last year feeling more like a hellscape than the exciting time you’d always imagined. You’d known which college you wanted to go to since forever, your best friend and you making plans about it since middle school. Except she had suddenly changed her mind about going together, and while you understood that these things could happen you thought you at least deserved an explanation. But you never got one, not really. I can’t always be considerate to you, I need to think of myself too, she’d reasoned, and it’d felt like a punch in your face that she saw the situation that way, naturally assuming you would blame her when really all you wanted was to talk about it, to understand, to be part of the conversation. It hurt that she seemingly trusted you too little to be open with you. And you couldn’t even talk to anyone about it all because your friends were hers too and you didn’t think it was appropriate to pull anyone else into this mess. “Just school,” you repeated, “my grades have been dropping,” you added and you weren’t even lying.

Kevin hummed in understanding. “Are you worried about not getting into your first choice?”

You bit your lower lip so hard you thought you tasted iron. “I don’t even have a first choice anymore,” you pressed out. There were tears welling up in your eyes that you aggressively tried to blink away.

“Oh,” he said and you knew by the way he looked at you that to some extent things must have clicked. He'd known about your plans for the future after all so it wasn’t hard to connect the dots. “Do you wanna tell me what happened?”

You shook your head but then nodded before ultimately shrugging. “It’s just over, I guess,” you knew it sounded like you were talking about an ex rather than a friend, but the heartbreak felt the same either way, “It’s—I’ve tried to fix it over and over but I don’t think we can. I don’t think I can. But now that we’re not talking anymore I’m realizing how much of my life revolved around her. It’s—,” you paused, trying to find a fitting word, but when nothing better would come to mind, you settled for “weird." Your fingers fumbled with the grass next to your feet, "I haven’t had to be myself all by myself in a really long time. It was always—it was our dreams and plans and wishes. Maybe hers more than mine. But now it’s suddenly just me, and I don’t even know who I am outside of all of that. How am I supposed to choose a future like that?”

“You don't have to put yourself under so much pressure, y/n,” he said softly and somehow he made it sound like a good answer, “I know it's always framed like this giant decision that will determine your whole life, but it's not. Life is way more complicated than that. Which isn't to say you should just decide randomly, but you don't have to pressure yourself into finding the perfect choice either. You won’t know how it turns out until you're there anyway. So just go for a place with interesting courses or a pretty campus or good financial plans or," he playfully nudged you in the side, "you could also go some place where you already have an ally. My school is pretty good you know?"

“You probably just don’t have friends at college, so you want me around.” You rolled your eyes at him but you did feel a little better. 

“Rude? I so have friends,” he mocked offense, “but I do want you around. Would be great to not have to travel a zillion miles just to annoy you in person.”

“You do know that you were the one who left, right?”

“Fair enough.”

“Why did you go anyway? Why that far?”

He shrugged. “It wasn’t that deep. It just seemed like a good path for me. Good chance to leave my comfort zone too.”

“Hm.”

“Why? Did I manage to grab your interest? Are you considering it?”

"Don't get me wrong, I already had it on my radar beforehand," you justified yourself and when you saw his smug grin you quickly added, "because of the courses!"

“Sure, little bug. Or maybe you just really miss me.” 

"Shut up."

“Seriously though,” Kevin went back to a more serious tone, “no matter where you go, it will be fine. You’ll be fine. You don't have to have it all figured out just yet. And you’ll always have me to call when the going gets rough.”

“Thanks, Kev. Really, thank you.”

“Mmh-mmh, not for that,” he hummed, "and by the way, about the other thing you mentioned, I think I have a pretty good idea of who you are. So if you ever need a reminder I could easily make you a list."

"That'd be great, actually," you replied and it sounded less like a joke than you'd intended. Not that it really was one in the first place.

"Hmm, let's see" he hummed, "you're a little stubborn—" "Not true," you pouted and he just raised an eyebrow at you in place of a response. "You're also kind," he continued, "but maybe a bit of a people pleaser." 

"Aren’t you supposed to say nice things here?"

"Oh, I thought you wanted an honest list and not a nice one."

"Fine."

"You're also creative."

"Creative?"

"There’s some crayon drawings on my bedroom wallpaper to prove it,” he grinned and you couldn’t help but smile at the memory—not that you actually remembered drawing the flowers on his wall, you’d been 4 or 5. What you did remember though was the way he hadn’t gotten rid of them, even going so far as to put an empty picture frame around them at some point as if they were actual art and not some childish doodles.

"Fair enough," you chuckled.

"You're also funny. And very cute when you have leaves stuck in your hair," you felt his fingers move through your hair, carefully picking out something that got stuck in it. You wished he knew what that was doing to your heart. 

"And most of all you're a little bug of course." He dropped his hand to your shoulder once he was done, his thumb drawing gentle patterns. "You need to hear more?" 

"No," you shook your head, "it's fine."

"I could go on, you know?"

"Yeah, I know."

“Do you feel a little better?”

“Yeah,” you leaned your head against his shoulder, “I do.”

 "That's good." You thought you felt him press a little peck to the crown of your hair before he rested his chin on your head, but maybe it was just your wishful thinking. "That's good," he whispered again.

masterlist ♡ pls consider reblogging/commenting if you enjoyed this ♡

[ornii]

Folie à deux II: Addams

As the crowd roars as the final note plays, (Y/n) stands before them, exhausted but smiling. He raises the mic to his mouth and gives one last speech.

“Before I leave.. i Wanna say something, you can do anything you put your mind to, put your mind towards it and you’ll reach the top, legends never die. “ with those parting words he departed the stage to applause that could be heard around the world, (Y/n) walks off stage and to his manager, Karl, after a bit of reluctance he accepted one, and he’s never looked back on it. He slumps down wand Karl sits with him.

“Last city, and ended it with a bang, gotta say you did perfect, Celebes are all over your Twitter.” He said smiling and pats (Y/n) on the shoulder.

“Thanks..” (Y/n) Said, obviously weary.

“Look get on the bus, we’ll head home and you take a long break, I’m sure you got more music to work on.” He says and (Y/n) nods and stretched, and headed back to the tour bus, after sitting inside the exquisite bus, he hears the tv play.

“(Y/n)‘s “Welcome World” Tour had ended and with over 40 concerts done it ends and overall fantastic reception, after a debut single and his first Album “Beyond.” Eyes Are on the young star and we can only imagine what he has in store.” They say, he turns the tv off and falls into a deep sleep.

A Few months pass, and all seems well for you, while a big chunk of the internet is absolutely crazy for you, you never let it get to your heard, more importantly your music is slowing down unfortunately, working 20 hours straight trying to focus on producing a beat takes its toll physically and mentally. As you slump in your chair across your station, Karl enters and peers over.

“You Look Tired, Cmon take a Break, i Wanna talk to you about somethin.” He said, you reluctantly stop the beat and remove your headphones.

“What’s up?” You say and Karl sits down.

“I’ve been thinking and you’re burned out, you can’t keep this up forever and you’ll end up hating it, so, why don’t you focus on somethin different for a bit?” He says.

“Like?” You say asking for an example. Karl leans in.

“This is between you and us, but I chatted with some executives on Netflix and they’re producing a show, you know the Addams family right?” He says, and you smirk and snap your fingers twice.

“Who doesn’t?” You reply.

“Okay Okay Smart ass.” He replies jokingly, “Netflix wants to do a series on the Uh, what’s her name? Wednesday.. yeah and it’s going to be in a boarding school, and with that type of young actors, it’s perfect for you to get your feet wet.” He explains.

“Sounds cool Enough..” you say. And check your phone. “How longs the shoot?”

“Few months? They got the girl from scream or whatever.” Karl says, which immediately catches you off guard, your head jerks up and you lean in.

“Jenna?” You ask.

“Uh yeah that’s her name, she was in other movies but yeah— so—“

“Yes!” You say a bit too excited for Karl, who was caught off guard. He chuckles, “Okay kid don’t go kissing her feet when you see her.”

You scoff at this.

“Ha! As if I-I don’t.. do that.” You say, and Karl shrugs, “I’ll call the executives and let Em know.” He says and leaves you alone, a giddy feeling in your chest goes wild as you stand up, reinvigorated!

The next week was the first week of shooting, and was nerve wracking, sitting inside your trailer you read the script, the director, the Tim Burton stood across from you, a legend who made some of the most unique films, a Nightmare Before Christmas, The Corpse Bride, Beetlejuice! Even the 1989 Batman film! It was like meeting a figure from your childhood.

“Okay, so.. who am I going to play?”

“You’ll be playing a man named (Y/n) Healy. An Irish demon, you’ve heard of the old tale of Balor and the evil eye? Basically that, but a more, human aspect.”

“Okay… and his role is he the, Villian?”

“No, in fact he’s going to be with Wednesday.” He says and your face loses color, wether it was excitement or embarrassment, you weren’t sure but you don’t hate the idea. “Okay.” You say nodding.

“I’ll method act the blindness, I’ll need a cane..”

“The props we have will work wonders, but it’ll be up to you to make the watchers believe it.”

“Yeah.” You say with confidence, Tim nods and leaves and you read over the first episode, and start to come to some terms with what you’ll be doing. You stand up to go get dressed and out of the trailer, and you’re suddenly almost face to face with a blonde haired girl.

“Oh! Sorry.” She says, and you step back, but accidentally bump into the the trailer with a bang.

“Oh! Hey!!” You day as she obviously tries not to laugh. You awkwardly chuckle. “My bad if this was your trailer..”

“It’s not.. i just came to say hey, I’m Emma, I play Enid.”

“Myers?” You reply and she nods, you shake her hand.

“It’s great to meet you!”

“You too! Your musics pretty amazing, so when I heard you were a part of this I just had to say hello at least.” Emma says and you thank her immensely.

“Thanks, seriously I mean it, so.. are you heading to make up?”

“I am, ready?” She says and you nod, following, entering another trailer to get your face to look as unrealistically handsome as possible, you continue to talk.

“So, your character is a, Werewolf? That’s.. pretty cool.”

“really?” She replies, “I’m glad, Tim showed me how her character works and, I think I can make it, yours sounds charming, charismatic and kinda chaotic.”

“Huh, then I’ll do just fine.” You say, the words barely rolled in your mind before you said that, which made you just sound egotistical, but Emma smiles

“You’re confident! That’s good!” She says, and you couldn’t help but crack a smile. You get dressed with your glasses and work on your script with Emma, and prepare for the first scene for you to shoot. You sit on a stone bench and are awaiting, and you hear a “Action.” You pretend to drink Tea, before Emma, (Enid), walks over and places her hands over your “Blind” eyes

"Guess Who~" She says, and You play your role to perfection

"Enid.. you know that doesn't work, right?" You say, and she lets go, and sits next to you. You turn to her, but act as if you can’t see her.

"I know, but I didn't want to cover your ears, you couldn't hear me then (Y/n)." She says smiling.

"Well, what's new? You're pretty exited.." You ask. And she acts so; amazingly, her cheerful tone, the cute highlights in her hair.

"I should and called you about it but let me give you the deets, I'm getting a roomie!" She says, and you smile in response to this

"That's great, is someone changing dorms?" You ask.

"No, she's transferring from another school, Wednesday Addams! I did. my research and she got expelled from her last school." She explains and you Sip from the tra

"Yeah she tossed piranhas into the school pool and a boy lost a testicle." She flatly said, and you, which wasn’t part of the script almost cough up the tea. Instead of asking to stop you roll with it

"E-Enid, are you... sure You want someone like that to Room with you? I think Principal Weems would understand you wanting a transfer."

"What? No! We're going to be the best of friends! I can already picture it! Doing each others hair, nails, talking about all the gossip at Nevermore, the Boys~" She says, you nod sadly and go with it

"Well, I hope you have fun then." You said, before Principal Weems spoke up from behind you.

"Miss Sinclair." She said with this gaudy and proper tone, Enid quickly turns around, and smiles.

"Please, allow me to bring you up to your new Roommate, good morning also to you Mister Healy." She said, turning her attention towards you, and give a bow.

"Good Morning Principal." He replies, "Could I ask you what time it is?" You say, and she checks her watch.

"Nearing Seven."

"Ah, well I should get to feeding the crows then." You stand up with your cane and walk over to a cage of birds, granted the bird keeper said they don’t bite, but you don’t prefer to take risks, you “feed” them, you act oblivious of the two approaching and you recite the lines in your head.

"And this, is (Y/n) Hearly. (Y/n), this is Wednesday Addams." Emma says, you turn around to act oblivious again, but you couldn’t this time, her clothing, her deadpanned face, even though she showed no emotion you were absolutely smitten by her, Wednesdays Addams, Tara carpenter, those names meant nothing to you, the only word that rang though your mind, was “Jenna”.

[stemcellee]

lately I’ve been absolutely consumed by my summer research projects and I really love it and I find a lot of fulfillment in doing experiments and hurriedly analyzing the data bc I just can’t wait to see what my results are and I truly feel a lot of passion for it

but im scared because 1. haven’t rested all summer, and this is literally the last summer “off” in my life (of course unless I take an extended leave or something idk) 2. because ive been so consumed I start to notice im losing myself LOL like I feel too tired to spend time with my family and friends after working so hard and so much. and because I want to get so many things done I likely won’t have a break before 2nd year of med school starts (which is supposed to be more challenging than first year) so will I burn out to a crisp??? but also I like what I’m doing so will it cause burnout?? am I psyching myself into thinking doing all this will cause burnout bc when I scroll instagram all I see is “you need to balance work and life” “im burnt out” etc. Like what do i actually feel and what is influenced by literal influencers opinions on their circumstances

ANYWAYS YEAH IM AFRAID BUT ALSO im doing what i like. why can’t I convince myself that doing what i like is enough why do i feel like i have to give 100% to every aspect of my life. I can’t give 100% to everything because then id need infinite% i have to learn that the % I give to everything can only add up to 100

[auschizm]

This is just a ramble about medical neglect:

I’ve followed the schizophrenia dialogue for a few weeks now and I’m beginning to have another one of those “oh so that’s what they label it as” moments that I’ve had with basically all my labels. I’ve always had these differences and in some form been aware of them. But one of my biggest difficulties is communicating. I’m not non verbal but I do think I fall on a minimally verbal spectrum and language in general feels like shoving putty through the gears of my brain. So even though I try and tell anyone and everyone my symptoms they are at best downplayed or ignored. I’ve always been hyper aware of how I feel about certain things and have gotten really good at accommodating myself. But that only came after late realizations to things that where hurting me severely. Panic attacks taking me out of extra curricular, depression stopping me from going to school, adhd making me unable to focus in school, autism making me unable to hold meaningful relationships (at least with the people I know), being queer and trans making it hard to relate to peers. It’s always been a matter of my body and mental capacity being pushed beyond where it can go, a break down and slump, realizing and research on my own, and then learning to cope and accommodate myself. It’s happened so many times that I’ve built up a decent foundation for survival but doing it alone means there are deep cracks. I’m so tired all of the time and the idea that I can’t keep pushing past my exhaustion was itself exhausted years ago. I have to keep pushing, I’m the only one putting time and energy into myself so if I stop, I fall, immediately. It’s been a terrifying way to live life. Especially now, my last break down being trapped in a house in the dessert with several not well people, experiencing immense psychosis and ending up homeless for months after. I’m in an apartment and significantly better now, I’m also learning the symptoms I’ve been experiencing, that can’t be explained already, sound a whole lot like schizophrenia. I’m not sure where to go from here, I never really have. I’ve never had proper medical attention before. There where times when even obvious physical injury’s where ignored by family and professionals, addressing anything mental has been impossible. I have a therapist now but I can’t even get them to agree with me about depression, so we only work on material improvement. I’m exhausted, I love myself and I deserve better than this, but I can’t do much better.

Thank you for raising awareness, it’s genuinely made my life easier and I appreciate you a lot. Would you have any ideas for non medical accommodations for living with schizophrenia. It’s okay if not

I am so sorry that you haven't received the support and accommodations you've needed, and I am really impressed that you have managed to care for and stand up for yourself regardless. That's very impressive and inspiring. And depending on the details of your experience with schizophrenia, it might not be particularly helpful to medicalize it. Because as you've clearly already noticed, often the people who are supposed to help you don't actually help much, professionals included. And while there are definitely situations where a label like schizophrenia is a necessary evil, it is also a target that can make you vulnerable to various kinds of discrimination and bigotry. I am not telling you not to seek medical help, but I strongly encourage you to think it through first. Even though I unfortunately can't write you a guide to coping with schizophrenia on the spot.

[pilot-boi]

What made you fall in love with Jaune?

His dad loser boy attitude captivated me

No but for real, when I started watching RWBY I did so very reluctantly, if you can believe that from how invested I am in it now. I’ve never been a big fan of fluffy school anime like School Rumble, no matter how much my friend tried to show it to me

And then, no kidding, the Jaunedice Arc happened

I know, I know, practically everyone in the fandom freaking hates this arc. But as is probably obvious by now, there’s nothing I like more than a when a character who is just trying their best gets their ass kicked at every turn

Jaune was already one of my favourites before that, but I wasn’t INVESTED until his whole scene on the roof

“I know I’m going through a hard time right now, but I’m not THAT depressed” while standing on the edge of a building and leaning out too far

“I’m tired of being the lovable idiot stuck in the tree while his friends fight for their lives” oh shit turns out our comedy relief character KNOWS his role and he freaking hates how helpless it makes him

“If I can’t do this on my own then what good am I?!” when all the evidence is showing that he CANT do this on his own, and he knows it, further cementing that holy shut this boy has the self-esteem of a damp rag

It’s just a great freaking scene, and Miles acts it fantastically

After six or seven episodes of Jaune being this background goofball getting stuck in trees and put through shenanigans, the hard left turn of him clearly KNOWING that he’s the universe’s comedy punching bag and HATING it?

Laughing off things an episode earlier and then holy shit our comedy relief character is like ACTUALLY suicidal and depressed, and it’s not being played as a joke?

Trying SO HARD to be more than what he is, breaking the law to hold up a legacy that is crushing him, all while clearly knowing in his heart that he’ll NEVER be enough to live up to it?

I mean how was I NOT supposed to fall in love with that

[briarpotter]

Warning: Kinda angsty, if you don't like, don't read.

N-38: I never really gave up on you. Not really. I always hoped…

Summer, 1999

“You’re never home! If you can’t commit to this relationship, how are we gonna work this out?!” She screamed. “I’m trying to make the world a better place, Gin, cut me some slack! I come home tired and hungry every day, if you can’t understand that, then what am I supposed to do?!” He shouted at her. “Fine, then. I think we need to take a break.”

His eyes widened in surprise. The pain she saw there made her own heart hurt, but it was for the best if they took a break and came to terms about their relationship. After the war, they had jumped back into a relationship, thinking that it would work out, but the war’s effect was too much, and it affected them too.

They kept arguing, something they had never done before the war, and they never seemed to understand the other, something that was second nature to them when they dated in school. It hurt, but it was for the best. Well, she was hoping that if she told herself that enough times, it would turn out to be true.

October, 1999

“Hey Gin. Can we talk?” Harry asked, approaching her. Her eyes widened in surprise before she nodded at him, and followed him out the Great Hall. As soon as they reached the Entrance Hall, she crossed her arms over her chest and stared at Harry. “What’s this about?” She asked.

Harry grinned sheepishly at her, making Ginny’s heart melt. She wanted to take him back right there, but she knew that rushing into a relationship would do nothing more than hurt both of them. They needed to heal their wounds.

“I never really gave up on you. Not really. I always hoped that we could make it work. But I guess that the war left its scars, so I’ve been going to therapy, and I’ve realised not everything is my fault.” He started. Ginny startled. Harry was going to therapy?

“Growing up with the Dursleys gave me a guilt complex. It made me think that everything was my fault, even though nobody blamed me.” He continued. “Your mum has been so nice to me, even when she’s lost a son. Every time I see your family, I’m always surprised that they don’t think Fred’s passing is my fault. If I had given myself up earlier-”

“That is not your fault, Harry!” She interjected. Harry made to protest, but a glare from her shut him up. Her eyes softened. “I’m glad you’re getting help.” “Y’know what, I am too.”