#I can't be the change I want to see because. honestly I fundamentally feel a kind of automatic repulsion for most kinds of 'interfacing"

[tinkatonnageoffun]

Transformers folks

I understand the impulse.

But why are we giving the robots dicks? Don't misunderstand me, I literally could care less, but why are we not getting funky with it? Why's it got to be a spike on the pelvis in the entrance?

We've got a body that can, theoretically, feel any range of anything across its entire surface and below, or even outside of it, including pleasure and well beyond, and we're just. Goin' straight past that to good ol' biological framed interfacing?

I could get explicit in my examples but we have access to FULL BODY INTERFACING WITH A HUNDRED DIFFERENT ENGAGEMENT METHODS AND RANGES! That leaves literally ANYTHING open!

Cybertronians could be their own bloody vibrators, they could get off to getting cut open and put back together, they could get off to entirely merging consciousnesses and interacting in the code, I could go on, those are just the uncreative examples.

Fair sparks, ignore my advice if you please, but I'd recommend getting in touch with the mech & pilot & handler community and groups related. It can go so much farther than just. Slapping penises and vaginas on the metal aliens made of code strings and unobtanium when you've got an entirely blank canvas to play with here.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi sex witch,

how can I ethically continue to be a slut if i have hpv? I have the gardasil-9 vaccine and I've never had any symptoms (and i was told its not the strains that cause cervical cancer), but knowing that I could potentially continue to spread it even if i have safer sex and let everyone I hook up with give informed consent - what if im hooking up with people with penises who can't be tested and could then spread it further? the only person I feel comfortable sleeping with anymore is the person ive been hooking up with for 2 years who probably gave it to me, but i don't really like that person outside of sex and I want to hook up with people i like more. but I don't feel comfortable hooking up with multiple people because I might spread it.

any words of wisdom?

hi anon,

the use of the word "ethically" is so interesting here. personally I don't see anything unethical about being sexually active as a person with HPV, especially given that alternative seems to be penning up people with STIs and denying them the experience of sexual intimacy. in addition to being cruel this would be fairly impractical, as the CDC estimates that something like 85% of sexually active people will be infected with HPV in their lifetime - although those infections are rarely permanent, as around 90% of cases clear up on their own within two years, so the pen would also have a hell of a revolving door.

the vast majority of HPV infections do absolutely fuck all to the people infected; after the strains that cause cervical cancer (which you don't have), the next worst effect is likely to be uncomfortable but thoroughly nonfatal and utterly treatable genital warts. it's worth noting that even this is unlikely; there are nearly 200 known strains of HPV and only two are known to cause genital warts (as opposed to the thirteen that can cause cancer).

even if you do - what, that's one extra nugget of information to slip into conversations prefacing future sexual encounters? "I have HPV, it's not really a big deal, there's a very slim chance you MIGHT develop genital warts in a few months but probably not, would you still like to have sex?" and that's assuming, again, you have a warts strain; if not, the conversation goes more like "I have HPV, it does absolutely nothing and will probably go away on its own even if you get it. would you still like to have sex?"

you're not a toxic waste dump; you're a human being with an incredibly common infection. you can ethically be a slut that same way you did before, by talking honestly with your partners and taking their needs into account alongside your own. fundamentally not a single thing has changed about you as a person.

[gyrovagi]

(nimbly dodging an assortment of hammers that are falling from the sky aimed directly for my head) ok. will contain spoilers for all games at some point but i'll put the avowed ones at the end and mark them for oomfs who haven't finished it yet. Please finish the game so i can tell you about ambrose (i am smiling but you can see me visibly white-knuckling the edge of my desk). anyway

i honestly think this is in large part just the natural conclusion of focusing in on reincarnation as a known, provable, central mechanism of your universe. so this is more scattered 'what's all this then?' thoughts and not, like, an essay with an argument. what IS all this then

because if you know for a fact that reincarnation is real, then birth and death are two sides of the same coin. the god of death has two faces, the god of rebirth/redemption is also the one reaping souls to sow again. which is a concept people on earth are already familiar with, but it's literally true in eora - and what tips it over into something horrific for me is the fact that you don't get a clean slate with the next turn around the wheel. every newborn infant is already a ghost. there's always a chance, however slim, that something from decades, centuries, even millennia ago could come back to haunt you. we don't see people experiencing awakenings and then having a good time! even if aloth comes to accept iselmyr, his awakening was a direct result of the physical abuse he experienced as a child. your fucking soul keeps the score!! and you have no way of escaping samsara other than hoping the god of entropy blasts your souls into bits, a mercy which he fails to extend to some of his most devoted followers in poe1. for his own reasons ❤️

which leads into the Second Fundamental Horror of eora, before we even start thinking about the hollowborn: the wheel of life and death is controlled - was hijacked, even - by gods who are completely unaccountable to the mortals whose lives they play around with. you can dedicate your life to rymrgand and he'll put you back in the game in the exact same position and there's nothing you can do about it. if you're born a godlike, if your child is born a godlike, whatever trials and tribulations arise as a result, a god chose to do that to you. you most likely won't ever get the chance to ask for an explanation, and even if you do, you won't get any answers.

the watcher learns essentially by chance that the ultimate 'function' the godlikes are born for is to act as backup bodies or batteries for the gods. even for the godlike we see that seem more favored by their gods/the people around them, the horror is still there just lurking in the background. a godlike does not exist by chance, they exist as the conscious act of a god who exerts control over their life and death as a matter of course. i feel like i can't put this into words the way i want to - like, it's not an accident, it's not a complication of birth or pregnancy that can just happen and it's nobody's fault. it is someone's fault. without your knowledge or consent a god reached into your womb and forever changed your baby, or a god forever changed you before you were even born. you know this for a fact, and there's nothing you can do about it.

and we still haven't gotten into the fucking hollowborn!!!! which is just right there on the page. what do i need to say about it. a baby that's physically fine - that is, strictly speaking, alive and breathing, with a beating heart, and warmth in its little fingers, but will never be capable of living. fifteen years is a generation. that's a long fucking time for whatever odd percent of babies to just be born... empty. and then woedica in the burned book of law tells you that soul maladies like the hollowborn weren't uncommon before the gods took over the wheel. like. jesus. you have some limited amount of control over trying to make sure an infant's born physically healthy but what can you do to make sure it's born with an intact soul?

[major spoilers for both poe games commence but deadfire is almost 7 years old. if you are oomf who hasn't finished though it's fun to experience it yourself.]

and THEN deadfire leaves eora with the wheel broken - and there's no follow-up of what's developed from that in avowed three years later, most likely to just plain avoid spoiling the game lol/having to refer to any concrete 'worldstate.' but if it didn't immediately result in a new spate of hollowborn births (which it could've! people just might not have put the pieces together on that just yet), eventually like. it's not just that life on eora will die out if kith can't figure something out, it's that 'life' on eora will be soulless. which is if anything more existentially terrifying.

and the gods. the fucking gods. their unnatural, engineered birth directly demanded mass death on an inconceivable level. not just the deaths of willing engwithans, but the unwilling ones, too. not just the end of one civilization, but the devastation of the huana who were left completely in the dark about thaos' intent. how could you possibly expect gods who came into being like that to assign any value to mortal life? the gods were born from death; they are, in fact, still actively parasites latched onto the cycle of death and rebirth, which they twisted from its natural existence and bent and hammered to serve their purpose. they were born horrific and unnatural and then they made all birth horrific and unnatural.

[AVOWED SPOILERS FROM HERE ON]

this is why this one avowed note text makes me so crazy like. go make a bloody birth of them. the goddess who presides over childbirth, who came into being from the deaths of thousands of peoples, says: these people are soulless heretics worshipping a false (true) god. Go make a bloody birth of them. (She was a bloody birth!!!) Kill them so they'll be reborn under our control. The Engwithans had to die for our (unnatural) birth; the Ekidans have to die to pay for their god's (natural) birth.

what avowed ends up bringing to the table is the idea that a 'naturally-born god' is, arguably, no less horrific. sapadal, as far as we know, just coalesced into being from essence in the living lands over time. no mass murder required. but whatever horror they were spared in the nature of their creation, they're instead horrific by nature of being something with the power of a god but all the emotional intelligence and self-control of a child. they didn't choose to be born, they didn't have any control over the circumstances. they're innocent, but that doesn't make them any less dangerous. it was terrifying for the engwithans to realize they could find no gods, but it's also terrifying to think that something that powerful could just be born out of nowhere and wreak destruction without understanding any of it. and of course that if you let them they are just as capable of overriding the autonomy and identity of the godlike they created (by accident) (honestly no less horrific than the godlike the other gods made on purpose)

They were real for this.

[palmolli]

Kinda wish that dlc where you play as sksw Zelda actually got made. Imagine it had the memory recovery system of Breath of the Wild. That would be so freaking sick, but Nintendo doesn't have the balls. The implications of what happened during the war between Hylia and Demise is honestly horrific. In the opening cutscene with the cave paintings, it showed a LOT of people just being straight up BURNED. Hylia definitely saw a lot of that. So... in theory, Zelda was ALSO subjected to that, AGAIN. SKSW ZELDA HAS WAR PTSD. IM TELLING Y'ALL. And to relive all of that at the ripe ol age of seventeenish... is not good for the psyche. Nobody talks about her trauma enough, and it makes me big sad. ALSO. If I'm remembering correctly, Zelda's way of speaking sorta changed? Like... uhhmmmdjdj...

You can't convince me something didn't fundamentally change in her brain. Is this a stretch??? WHY IS SHE TALKING LIKE THATT??? gosh, the agnst potential here is CRAZY. Like. Be Link. Save the world or whatever, and now your girlfriend is suddenly spitting out philosophy and talking like a poet out of nowhere. That'd be kinda disorienting. Even more disorienting is having the memories of a past life along with your own. Like, uh... what if she asked Link about something she thinks happened, and he's just like... "Huh?" And she'd just be like, "Oh, that happened when I was Hylia, nvm."

ALSO IMPA!??!?!? like she DEFINITELY had a close relationship with her as Hylia maybe, I headcanon she saw Impa as a daughter, and then the roles got swapped when she became Zelda. Or... oh God PLEASE DONT MAKE THIS A PEARL AND ROSE QUARTS SITUATION PLEAAAHAHEEESEEEE 🙏🙏

Anyways. During that journey, she definitely grew attached to Impa, especially because she already knew her in a past life, which is kind of a special connection my dudes. And then BOOM she disappears. Bye bye warrior woman you will be missed dearly.

Cough. Okay to sum this up:

Live life normally as just a girl in school. Yippie, everything is awesome. Everything is cool when you're part of a team. Oh, sick, your crush won the race thing despite not studying a day in his life, and you've built up the courage to FINALLY ask him out-

Uh oh! TORNADO! and now you're in an entirely different land basically surrounded by monsters, defenseless, apparently despite the fact you've been attending a knight school for twelve or so years, you freaking nepo baby (affectionate). Grandma lady saves you. Then uh cool mysterious lady starts guiding you, and apparently you've known her in a past life-

War flashbacks. Some ash baby lookin ahh dude slaughtered a bunch of people bc he wanted some golden doritos, also, you used to be a goddess, the same one you worshipped and prayed to all the time. What the flip. What's Link gonna think about this? WHAT? YOUVE BEEN BASICALLY USING HIM? WHAT? PARDON? NO?! WHAT THE FLIPPITY JIPPITY. You tell him after he does some stuff belehsiebr then get sealed away and have to see him claw at you at bawl his eyes out. Not traumatizing at all. Then when you finally get reunited, a RuPaul's Drag Race reject pops in and kidnaps you and steals your soul to revive Temper Tatrum Ash Baby. Link beats both of them up. Also that dude who bullied him and had a crush on you is cool now. How sick! But OH SHART. IMPA ISNT COMING WITH YOU BACK TO THE PRESENT? oh haha she was just the old lady this whole time she's right there-

And she exploded.

Just great!

Not traumatizing at all.

idk, I just feel like she's such an interesting character who gets kinda mischaracterized all the time without taking into account that she suffered too. STOP VILLAINIZING MY BABY, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE SHE'S NOT EVIL.

[hello-nichya-here]

Honestly, I don’t get how people can watch everything Ashley puts Andrew through and still think she isn’t the worse of the two right now. And saying she’s worse doesn’t mean Andrew gets a free pass, far from it, but come on, she absolutely wrecks him in episode 2 and especially in Decay. She’s the one who pushes him to the edge and breaks the promise she made back in episode 1. Every time someone tries to reason with Ashley or calm her down, she just doubles, even triples down. It’s the same cycle over and over: promises to change, only to spiral even further.

Now, if we’re talking about before episode 1, sure, Andrew was a total asshole and definitely played a big part in how Ashley ended up. But seriously, try raising a traumatized kid while being neglected yourself and see how well you turn out.

You are fundamentally misunderstanding what makes Andrew tic as a character, WHY he'd rather die than be separated from Ashley no matter how awful she gets, and why those two things make people go "He's just as bad as his sister, maybe even worse"

Andrew's entire inner struggle can be explained by his thoughts on Julia after she breaks up with him "You'll never see her again, and the fact that it doesn't bother you bothers you."

Unlike Ashley, Andrew has at least some understanding of what a normal, healthy, GOOD person does or doesn't think/feel/do. But he still has all the same petty, immature, selfish, possessive, controling, manipulative and violent impulses Ashley has.

That's why, no matter if the player is making Andrew stand up for himself or revert back to Andy, the parents and the campers still die, because Andrew resents the former and doesn't care about the latter. Why his relationship with Julia is doomed, and why he'll get furious at the very thought of Ashley being with someone else. Why Ashley's obviously fake tears still convinced him to leave Nina, a girl he knows is asmathic and has clearly heard said the words "I can't breathe", locked up in a dusty box all night.

Despite knowing better, he still goes along with all the vile things Ashley wants - because even though he knows it's wrong, some sick part of him either doesn't care about these people (and thus doesn't care what Ashley puts them through) or actively ENJOYS their suffering just as much as his sister does.

Ashley is a chaotic, impulsive, reckless type of evil, and thus acts on impulse. Andrew is all about PREMEDITATED evil. He doesn't really "snap" and "get pushed too far" or even "gives into pressure/manipulation" that often. Most of the time he's making the conscious choice to ignore what he knows it's right. He doesn't care about the harm he causes, but he knows he should, and that brings him shame.

That's why in Burial, if he embraces the "Ashley and me VS the world" mentality, he is SO calm with all the vile things he's doing, that even his sister is shocked, and both demons/entities take an interest in him (as he likely "hatches" into a Tar Soul like Ashley in that route, instead of being just a grime one like in Decay, wich we explicitly know is all about self-perception - aka despite lack awareness of most things, Ashley was the only one between the siblings, up to that point, to not kid herself about the evil they did).

That's why Ashley doesn't just break her promise about never mentioning Nina again, but also points out that Andrew chose to kill her too.

Being "the doormat" that is simply "too weak willed" to tell Ashley no is far more comfortable for him than admiting that, even if she had never been born, even if he had been an only child, he would still be a terrible person, and would actively seak out someone like Ashley so he'd have someone who can understand and accept him.

"Snapping" at her only when she (admitedly) does horrible things to him that no one else would tolerate gives him a way out of acknowledging that there's a part of him that, no matter how much he loves Ashley, genuinely wants to hurt her simply because he's a monster too, not because of anything she did.

That's why he's so codependent to the point of killing himself right after murdering her - she's a terrible sister, friend, girlfriend and partner in crime, but she's still the scapegoat. If she's not around anymore, Andrew will run out of excuses, and in Decay he'd rather die than accept responsibility. In Burial? We'll see.

"Ashley is worse than Andrew" is and has always been bullshit. They're both violent, controlling, possessive, manipulative, and abusive towards each other in every way imaginable (verbal, psychological, physical, sexual). They're the exact same. And Andrew is well aware of it because, to some extent, Ashley is his creation as much as Renee's. And while he knows that should be tragic for several reasons (including the fact that he couldn't have been expected to act differently since he was just a child too) there's some part of him that is PROUD of having damaged his sister that much.

That's why he'll say things like "you're the most alluring thing I've ever laid eyes on", or mentally gush about how "his" Ashley summoned a demon on her first try, beat her to break her down even more, or actively use their feelings for each other to get her to fall in line, just like she does with him.

Andrew doesn't want Ashley to be "better", despite seeing all the harm she causes to everyone - including the two of them. At some point, he went from "Innocent child that should have never been raising another child, especially one like Ashley, because he's obviously unfit for the job and will accidentally enable her" to "Bastard that is actively shaping his sister/girlfriend to be the perfect scapegoat/partner in crime."

If she weren't exactly what she is, Andrew would have gotten rid of her a long time ago, like he did with all their victims.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/768686563949428736/honestly-i-do-kinda-think-the-discussion-around?source=share

idk, I think the "what's the alternative" argument still misses the point somewhat though.

for me, the point of "my body my choice" is literally just that - forcing a pregnancy on someone that they don't want (or forcing them to abort one they do want, for that matter) is SUCH a massive violation of bodily autonomy that the "reasons" for doing that don't matter. pregnancy fundamentally changes your body and affects everything about your health for 9 months. pregnancies that go wrong can threaten the life of the pregnant person AND their baby. that shouldn't be something people have to go through if they on board with it, period. for the same reasons you can't be forced to donate any part of your body if you aren't okay with doing that, even if you could do fine without it and the other person would die.

that's why as a disabled person myself i have no patience for the people who cry about "disability abortions" or compare it to eugenics. because sorry but people with ableist beliefs still deserve bodily autonomy, and it's just as much of a violation of their autonomy - and therefore their most basic human rights - to force them to go through with a pregnancy because their reasons make YOU, a person who is not going through that pregnancy, feel troubled. as i've seen posts on here say, you can't "perform eugenics on your own uterus." you are not obligated to give birth to any person you don't want to, and that is fundamentally different than a government or society killing people for who they are. same with people who want to abort because of the baby's sex. same with people who want to abort because, idk, they were given an expected date in the first week of january and they don't want their baby to be a capricorn. (i know this sounds like a joke but i have friends who are a hippie lesbian couple who announced the birth of their son with "it's a [his expected astrological sign]!" which was really funny because he was born a couple weeks early and then turned out to be the previous sign. so, people who take astrology way too seriously DO have babies)

i think that unfortunately and especially for a lot of people with conservative upbringings, a lot of people tend to see a hypothetical fetus with some identity in common with them and project themselves into that situation. the "what if i had been aborted?" thing but somewhat less self-aware about it. some feminist writing in the 80s talked about men doing this with aborted fetuses, seeing themselves as a male fetus being "killed" by a woman, but i think it's clear some women do it too when they share a (potential) identity category with a fetus. and i think the bigger issue here is that it erases the pregnant person. even the argument anon is making here, which again they're right about, still focuses on the outcomes for the baby rather than the person carrying them. and i think you "get" pro-choice politics better when you make a point of centering the person who is pregnant, and resisting any framing that (consciously or not) frames them as just a place where the baby grows. for instance, as a disabled person, my disability comes with a low pain tolerance that is a big part of why i never want to be pregnant. there are a lot of disabled people where that disability interacts negatively with their pregnancy in some way, and disabled pregnant people are usually among the first whose rights anti-choice people try to take away, whether it's their right to choose an abortion, or right to procreate in the first place, or right to raise the child they give birth to. i just really cannot take your disability rights advocacy very seriously when "disability + abortion" for you is only ever about the fetus and never about the pregnant person! (or also, when people fearmonger about autism screening for abortion. both because a lot of those people seem to think that's currently happening when it's not, but also everything we know about autism so far suggests it's extremely unlikely to be something we can ever detect with precision in utero. starting with that it's probably not caused by purely by genetic factors in the first place, and also that it's likely not just one specific thing caused by one gene. they're able to screen for down syndrome because it involves an extra chromosome, which is extremely easy to detect. also, sidenote, before people go into shaming people who abort fetuses with trisomy 21, keep in mind that there's a lot more to down syndrome than intellectual disability, including most people who have it having life-threatening heart problems that tend to keep them in the hospital for the first several months or even years of life. there are a lot of reasons people don't want their children to go through that, especially people without consistent access to health care, that is not just "ableism" toward the intellectually disabled.) geezus, this got long. sorry about that. i guess i just had a lot of thoughts about it, hope they were enlightening enough to anyone reading along to be worth the verbosity! but they were a lot of what convinced me when i used to be one of those people who was uncomfortable with "disability abortions"

--

Well said.

I think it's important that we let ourselves have our emotions about other people's choices without thinking they're a basis for policy. What if my child needs my kidney? Should I be legally obligated to donate? People will think I'm an asshole if I don't, but should I be obligated to?

[genericpuff]

hi, i know the episode came out weeks ago, but i wanted to talk about ep 277 and your essay on it. i thought it was very well thought out and had brought up lots of concerns abt apollo's other victims and the harm persephone caused to others that i just. hadn't really thought about myself because honestly this webcomic is a BLUR to me LOL. thank you for writing these insights and putting them online for others to read ! i think you manage to keep a respectful distance to rachel [1/]

Yeah, regarding how the SA was handled...

I think Rachel did exactly as well as anyone might have expected someone like her to write a plotline like that.

Honestly if Rachel really did want to do the arrow thing, I think it would have worked WAY better if she had used the arrow of hate. First of all, because it had already been established back in S2 when it was shot at him by Psyche, but ALSO because making it an arrow of love confirmed that Eros literally did what Apollo asked despite the fact that he's Persephone's best friend and should have been more suspicious of what he was going to use it for. Why not just do a bait & switch where Apollo is under the impression that it's an arrow of love but Persephone trusts in her friend and pieces it together that it's probably an arrow of hate? It would also payoff the whole "news crew being nearby" thing (as well as all the other gods that just randomly showed up) because uh oh now they all see his true nature and he can't hide behind his lies anymore!

After all, as I mentioned in my previous post about this (the one I believe you're referring to) it's not like there wasn't already foreshadowing that Apollo was going to fall on his own sword the way of Mr Waternoose from Monster's Inc, he was already showing signs of cracking under the guilt that he was feeling towards how he treated Persephone/Eris/Hermes/etc. so why did it have to be Persephone taking a massive risk by sticking him with an arrow of love that still doesn't fully explain why he would even suddenly be a changed man? Loads of people like Apollo think they're in love / define their infatuation as love so I don't see how an arrow of love would suddenly make him empathetic to her pain. Especially when, again, he still begs her not to make him confess, so the guilt he's feeling is still completely empty and unmotivated.

I will leave this with one final thing that I saw the other day that very much reminded me of the Apollo SA plotline and I think it rings very true for the misdirected conclusion of the plot itself:

One of the biggest issues of the Apollo SA plotline, at least in my opinion, is that it never really gets to the root of why people like Apollo exist. There absolutely were strong foundations for this - he's the son of a guy who's known for being a serial cheater, he's popular and egotistical and is used to women wanting him, etc. - but all of those foundations kind of fell to the wayside in favor of turning Apollo into just another boogeyman, especially to lift Hades up as a "good man" by comparison (when Hades himself also falls on this spectrum). But many people like Apollo aren't just random guys in an alleyway or conspiring with some "higher power" that's manipulating them, they're men who fundamentally do not understand consent and assault on the varying spectrums in which it exists from "SA just exists, oh well" passiveness to "I'm an actual monster who gets pleasure out of victimizing women" aggressiveness. I think there's a lot to discuss about how people like Apollo exist WITHOUT sympathizing with them, but LO manages to do neither - not only does it give us uncomfortable and unnecessary looks into the rapist's POV more than we get the victims, but it does it in a way that doesn't actually address the issue of how people like Apollo come to be, it's just "Apollo is the big evil boogeyman who raped Persephone". Not only does it not actually put enough focus on the victims, but it reduces the societal and cultural complexities of where Apollo's brand of egotistical entitlement comes from to just "some guys just be evil like that". Guys like Apollo don't just come out of the womb like that, they're often shaped into what they are by a society that both excuses them for awful behavior towards girls ("Boys will be boys!") and enables - if not outright encourages - them to objectify women as trophies that they're entitled to. Even the seemingly innocent and sentimental practice of "giving away a bride" at a wedding is rooted in these patriarchal systems, with the belief that a woman first "belongs" to her father before being "given to" her husband.

It's the part of feminism that often gets overlooked - it's not just about uplifting female voices and helping survivors speak up about and heal from SA, it's also about deconstructing and challenging the patriarchal systems that lead to SA victims being created in the first place. Sure, Apollo got sentenced to building temples in the Mortal Realm, but what is that actually doing to address the bigger topic of how men like him come to exist in the first place? Especially when it was also treated as a good thing for TGOEM to be disbanded, instead of, idk... reworking it into a women's support group for survivors like Persephone?

IDK, it's a very complicated subject that you can approach from a million different angles, I don't think that my criticizing it should outweigh the opinions of those who were satisfied with the punishment that was given to Apollo (my saying the SA plotline sucked doesn't mean you're not allowed to find your own validation in it) but I do think that, at best, Rachel ended the SA plotline the only way she could because she herself is just not equipped to tackle such broad subjects that require a lot more education, experience, and nuance than what she's capable of writing. There are definitely 1298423108 better ways that plotline could have been resolved, but not with Rachel Smythe at the helm.

And that's my many cents on that.

[turnleftonlastlaughtlan]

The line by twenty one pilots just dropped and i think might die if it’s actually about vik but the lines are hitting a way too close to home.

"honestly, i thought i was fully prepared for the threshold in store, stay your pretty eyes on course. i guess i never really faced my fears before. so stay with me because. my body's on the line now, pull the blanket tight now. i can feel the light shine on my face.

My body's on the line now I can't fight this time now. ”

“i thought i was fully prepared for the threshold in store”

Viktor knew he would die young and had been battling death for all his life, he thought he was prepared to die but isn’t truly.

“i guess i never really faced my fears before” Could be interpreted as many things. Viktor although he knew he would die young did everything to save himself, even argumenting himself with the hexcore. By trying desperately to search for a solution he never confronted the fact he simply would have died.

“my body's on the line now, pull the blanket tight now. My body's on the line now I can't fight this time now.”

honestly pretty self explanatory, viktor’s body has always been on the line, always been fighting for life. He might be transforming into the Herald and by doing so fundamentally changing his body, putting it on the line.

As for the blanket it could be a reference of the blanket jayce gave him when they had the “ divorce” . Also a blanket his usually put upon a deceased person…

“I can feel the light shine on my face” him in the intro:

“Did I disappoint you?

Will they still let me over?

If I cross the line?”

I see this as viktor asking jayce if he is disappointed in him, seeing what he is become and what he has done (although not conscious of it, maybe he realized later). “Will they let me stay over” could be referred to a lot of things, piltover for once, zaun for second, and all the other characters for third. Will they let him live there? Will they let him live at all? If he crosses the final line of becoming the Machine Herald.

“Take a seat

But I'd rather you not be here for

What could be my final form

Stay your pretty eyes on course

Keep the memories of who I was before”

Again, very self explanatory. Viktor wouldn’t want his best friend to see him as an unemotional machine that in the name of the “glorious revolution”, his final form, doesn’t respect others rights. Since he can’t stop jayce to see it tho, he invites him to take a seat. To see the monster, and to remember who he was before: the silly, sassy and ambitious scientist jayce got to know over the years.

The true Viktor that now is gone.

[nectar-cellar]

thornton & morgana makeover.

thornton looks like a soap opera star and morgana looks so goffik i can't. they look like an odd pair, side by side ... i guess it fits their lore. how did they ever end up together, i wonder??

i kept morgana's whole purple thing. morgana, if you like it i love it!

very long headcanon ramble below:

in high school thornton was a theatre kid and morgana was the emo girl who sat with the queer kids, #ally. they were both really smart straight-A students but thornton had very strict parents and morgana's parents were a lot more chill and hippy. morgana has big dreams, she's a modern woman who wants to have it all - while thornton feels like he has been forced into living and pursuing a certain socially acceptable lifestyle created for him by his family/society. they got married young and as they mature through young adulthood, morgana finds it increasingly difficult to relate to thornton's personality and worldview. (i think morgana's parents were probably always surprised she ended up marrying a man who seemed so fundamentally different from her.)

when they were young, thornton was drawn to morgana because of her open-mindedness, her kindness, her ambition, and her creativity - all qualities he admired about her. and he always thought she was very pretty. she was so different from anyone else he knew, and he loved that she was never afraid to not fit in with the norm.

morgana was drawn to thornton because he was charismatic and handsome, sensitive and in touch with his emotions, and seemed to have his life and future figured out compared to their peers. they could talk for hours about anything. he was always respectful towards her, she never felt weird or creeped out by him like she did with other guys. she could see him as a good husband and a present father to their children.

so they kept dating and eventually he proposed and she said yes because that's what you're supposed to do, right?

thornton has never wanted kids. he thought he might change his mind when he got older but he hasn't. and lately he's not sure he even likes women. he envies the childhood and family that morgana has, he envies her confidence in herself and her hobbies and her freedom of self-expression, things he never had and perceives to still be out of his reach. he resents her for wanting a family and for the pressure it places on him to continue playing the role he has cast himself into.

but they're both doing well for themselves considering their youth, they have a comfortable life together if they don't think too deeply about things, and neither of them wants to ruin that picture-perfect suburban life.

i think deep down they both genuinely have love for each other and care about each other, so it's that much harder to honestly acknowledge that they're incompatible as life partners and they're unhappy and the marriage isn't working.

regarding jamie jolina: i think the reason thornton hit off so well with jamie is because jamie has many of the same qualities as morgana: she is smart, open-minded, kind, and caring. she accepts him for who he is. she listens and doesn't judge. and he can be honest with her about his sexual orientation because she's not his literal wife.

[twopoppies]

Confession time no one asked for: I feel like I love a Louis that doesn't exist anymore... Or like I am clinging to a version of him that he himself has been denying or pushing away long enough for me to feel alienated. And obviously I don't really know him, he doesn't exist in my real actual life so I wouldn't really ever be able to know what he really is like as a person and that's how it's supposed to be anyway. So I am aware that what I love or relate to has always been more me than him if that makes sense, what feelings or ideas I have been projecting onto him. But it's also been kind of based on what he chooses to put out there and how much of himself he shows, even if it's glimpses.. And for so long I felt that what little glimpses I saw were raw and vulnerable and in any case they just allowed me to connect with him. Whereas now I feel that whatever reaches me is part of an image that might be curated, it might be all him and the person he has grown into, it doesn't really matter in the end since the result is the same. I just can't see what drew me so effortlessly to him in the first place, I am not even excited when I see him pop up on my dash and that is such a scary realisation for me. And yeah I know that to some people it might sound so silly, like how can you be affected by your fading adoration for someone who is essentially a stranger to you? But it's not like that is it? When you have spent years following them, rooting and caring for them, being invested in them and yeah loving them in that way you can love someone who you might not know but who has also found a way to carve a little place in your heart and warm it with their presence, their music, their personality... It's such a foreign feeling to me I find it so hard to accept that I might not care about him the way I did, that if I saw him now I probably wouldn't even give him a chance. It actually really hurts. Maybe he isn't the only one who's changed, maybe that's me as well. Maybe it's only me after all. There is just this empty space now where my excitement used to be and I don't know what I am supposed to do with it because let me tell you I don't know how to be a casual fan of him. I want to put a huge disclaimer here and say that this has nothing to do with possible stunts or his personal life and who he is or isn't with (my beliefs on that front have more or less remained the same). And I still believe he is a lovely, talented human being and I will always want what's best for him. I just also think that I have to accept he doesn't mean to me what he once did. Which... Ouch. Anyway all these are my own personal thoughts and feelings and I just wanted to share in a safe space 🩵

I think it’s honestly inevitable as we grow and change, that some things we once loved start to fade in importance. But it’s very hard to not feel impacted by that.

I feel like that about this fandom, as a whole. It’s been such an important part of my life for almost a dozen years. It’s fundamentally changed who I am. But it no longer makes me happy the way it once did.

I hope, with Louis, you can find a way to hold on to the parts you loved and still find joy in them. I’d imagine your shifting feelings are a bit of you outgrowing what his presence in your life meant for you. It’s natural. And it doesn’t mean he’s done anything wrong. I think it’s hard to expect that a person you don’t actually know, is going to grow and change in a way that you can relate to.

[yandereunsolved]

how do you think mgs3 ocelot would treat a darling if he managed to capture them? Differences between how he'd be in mgs3 vs mgs5?

“ ‎An ocelot never lets its prey escape. ”

‎𖤐 He's so happy. He taunts his darling alot and is a show off of his abilities. It's like being kidnapped by an overly-excited, possessive feline. He always needs to have a hand on you. And he shoots anyone who touches you without his or your consent (with a few exceptions, like Volgin, for instance. But he'll still get protective over you).

‎𖤐 Ocelot very much wants to own you. This is why capturing you is such a big deal. I will keep reiterating this point because his possessiveness centers his obsessive tendencies. He will mark his darling to show people that they are his. He will dress them up like him and most likely make them wear a collar or some type of jewelry that indicates that you are his.

He knows it's dangerous because people want him dead. But he'll keep you safe, no matter what happens.

‎𖤐 Honestly, all in all, not the worst yandere to be kidnapped by. He may have an urge to try experimental torture methods on you, but he won't push your limits. You're also pretty spoiled for 1964 standards as long as you behave. You're his pretty kitty.

“‎Hmph. That's Major Ocelot to you, and don't you forget it.” (MGS3)

.ᐟ He brags about them to Naked Snake. "Look at what I caught. You can't have them!" He wants to show this man that he is capable of taking care of loved ones. It's just a precursor to what will eventually be the evil polycule.

.ᐟ [insert adjective] kitty is also a nickname he'll use in MGS3 that he doesn't use in his later years. Pretty Kitty, Handsome Kitty, My Kitty, Naughty Kitty, Little Kitty, etc ... He just grows out of it. In MGSV he sees it as a reminder of when he was weaker—more naive.

.ᐟ He's younger here. He's more cocky and full of himself. Yet he's more lighthearted. His yandere tendencies don't center around coping, sadism, and full control. I know you are like "!" Those traits are still present but they aren't overwhelming.

.ᐟ It's puppy love. A schoolboy crush that evolves into an obsession. He's inexperienced with how to handle these feelings. So while being genuinely terrifying sometimes with his actions, you can't help but smile, because he's selfish with you—but in a cute way. He owns you because he needs you. And it's in the most syrupy-sweet, all-consuming, Ocelot way possible.

(Psst, you can also exploit Ocelot's mommy parental issues here. Use them to escape while you still can. He heals from it after a while and will just become triggered if you bring it up: aka huffy, defensive, and torture-happy.)

“‎We Diamond Dogs are now a force to be reckoned with. We've got the world's attention.” (MGSV:TPP)

.ᐟ Methodical is the first word that comes to mind. He seems tame but there's always a dominant undertone to his actions. He's still a switch but he'll mostly be dominant with darling. Seeing subby MGSV Ocelot is a treat. He'll blush, turn his face away, and maybe even whimper if you get him good enough. Then he'll act like nothing happened (or perhaps he'll lean into it a little).

.ᐟ His yandere tendencies now center around coping, sadism, and full control. Full control is possessiveness but possessiveness is not full control. He will have darling. But he's more secure in his relationship with them. He'll threaten people that step too far, but he'll let them take that step because he knows he can "take care of the problem" if need be.

.ᐟ What I would argue is the biggest change, because it fundamentally changes the dynamic of his yandereism, is being in the evil polycule. Anytime I write MGSV the dynamics of the evil polycule will affect those within it, even if I am only specifically talking about one character.

Even if Ocelot wants to have darling all to himself, he'll want approval from Big Boss. If Big Boss, specifically Naked Snake, tells him that he has to do or not do something that pertains to darling, he listens.

It takes longer for him to build that obedience to Venom. But because Naked Snake trusted Venom so much, he's more inclined to listen to V when it comes to darling.

He's also more willing to let Kazuhira step over that line with darling, unless they are in one of their rivalries. There are periods of time when Ocelot and Kaz are more at peace when it comes to darling. Other times they fight over you like starved dogs protecting their territory while prowling for their next meal.

It isn't just him anymore. It's the evil polycule.

[idea-less-author]

I'm rewatching Doctor Who, and first of all, I forgot how much I not only loved this show but also Rose Tyler as a whole. Also nine needs more love. Anyway, I just finished episode 1×6 Dalek, and all I could think was how interesting it would have been if the Dalek survived and joined the time traveling duo. Walk with me a second.

We all known the Daleks, what they're like, what they are, what they've done, what they're capable of. But, this Dalek has spared 2 human lives. It's just kinda meandering with Rose questioning everything. It just wants freedom, but what does that mean really? The Doctor comes in and threatens it, sees that it's changed due to Rose's DNA, and is feeling something other than hate for the first time in it's existence. It's no longer a true Dalek, but it's still alone. It asks Rose for it's final orders. And, what if, she says no. And doesn't change her mind.

This is the first time the Dalek has ever felt the full spectrum of emotions. Of course it's over whelmed. It's neever felt anything more then maybe anger and hatred and now there are so many new things to feel.

Grief for what it once was and for all it once knew, fear of all of the unknown ahead, I'm sure some guilt for not only what it has done, but for even allowing itself to be changed in the first place. It gained human emotions for the very first time, moments after finding out that it was alone, and after being tortured for who knows how long. It's standing with the being that ended the time war by massacring both of their people, and the woman who' s DNA changed you so fundamentally that you know longer know what you even are. You're feeling sunlight for the very first time. That does not sound like a being that should be making life changing/ending decisions at that moment.

So, what if Rose refuses to give that final order. She recognizes all of the above. She's a lover, she's compassionate, she's emotionally intelegent. She doesn't like the suffering of anyone, including her enemies, but death would not be her first answer. It hasn't been before, it wasn't after, so why this time?

No, what if instead Rose chose to be kind to the Dalek by being a bit crule, and refusing it's request to die. Instead she convinces the Doctor to bring him aboard the ship. She picks the Dalek up, right out of the exoskelton, and not only gives the Dalek, it's first ever physical contact, but a new home. (I understand that the Dalek is squid-like and slimey but honestly I don't know how much Rose would care about that when trying to show compassion. Hell she tried to show compassion by carressing the Dalek earlier in this very episode.)

Nine would not be thrilled with these developments. You want to bring one of the creatures that helped end his people, terrorized the Universe, and is the reason that his alone, onto HIS Tardis? Are you mad? And they would bicker a bit. Shouting would happen, and the Dalek might even be on the Doctor's side. But I think in the end Rose would look at Nine with her big doe eyes, passionate about life in the way that she always is, and he would cave. He would be upset and cross (with himself mostly), but he would let Rose bring it onto his ship. I mean the Dalek has changed, and let's be real, he's the reason the Daleks alone, as well as himself. He had his reasons, but do they even matter at this moment? With this Dalek?

Now the next episode does take place near immediately after this one on station 5 and whatever, but even with the Dalek I think that the adventure with what's his name (I can't be bothered to look it up atm but you know the guy) can go much of the same as it did. The Dalek get's let on the Tardis recovering from it's ordeal, rethinking everything, and what the implications for it are now that everything is different. I think all of the Canon episodes for this season are much of the same too, just add a couple of new adventures showing the Dalek what life can be now with a full sectrum of emtions. And because it got these emotions from Rose, probably a shit-ton of compassion. I also think that it would start to build itself a new mechsuit, or whatever you want to call it. But this time, it has more uses then just death, destruction, and conquering.

The Dalek and the Doctor would have a whole frenemies thing. The Doctor doesn't trust the Dalek because it's a Dalek, and the Dalek knows that the Doctor should be it's number one enemy. But, they are cohabitating. And Rose wants things to work out, so they try to not be hostile. But every now and again, they find themselves... talking. Specfically when the Dalek is working on it's new suit, the Doctor will, help? Tbh it starts out with him being extreamly suspicious of the Dalek and wanting to keep an eye on it. Which leads to helping, segestions, being a sound board. And if I'm being honest, if it were a someone other than Nine I would say that this would be the time he notices what's happening and go and skulk around for a it before the cycle happens again, but I honestly think Nine would notice, and just continue on. Get to know the Dalek. Trust in Rose. At some point I do think that the Dalek chooses a name for itself, at Roses prompting. No idea what, but just another way that the Dalek changes and differenciates itself from the rest.

Now while this is all happening, they are still going on the rest of the adventures in the season. Jack joins the T.A.R.D.I.S. team. I think he'd kinda love a Dalek that's no longer a Dalek, who wants to live life, and maybe do some good for once. He joins the building sesions. Rose is there, it started off as her chaperoning The Doctor and The Dalek, but it just became hanging out and providing commentary fairly quickly. They're all having a grand time. It's strange, but it's theirs. Then Station 5 part 2 happens. The Doctor, Jack, and Rose get yoinked into their respective game shows. Rose gets disitegrated. Their Dalek and the T.A.R.D.I.S. are found and The Doctor and Jack are mourning. Their Dalek knows something is off. They figure out that the Daleks are back. They go to the Emperor.

Now I can't quite decide if Our Dalek would even be tempted by the emperor or not. Maybe at first? but It's changed so much. The Emperor likely wants nothing to do with It anyway because It's no longer a True DalekTM. And Our Dalek has changed so much. SEEN so much. Has been cared for by Rose Tyler, which we all know is a life chaging experience.

Once again I'm not entirely sure how the fight against the Daleks end for Their Dalek. It gets sent with Rose to protect her while everyone else fights and dies against the Daleks. It help Rose get back. Or It stays behind with Jack and The Doctor, completly fine with sacrificing it's life to save humanity as long as Rose is safe. If we go that route there are several ways you can go from there. It dies fighting what it once had been a hero. It dies, and comes back like Jack. In that case I think that It would continue on with Jack as a companion. Or maybe It goes It's own seperate way from Jack after resuraction. It lives, no need to be resurected. It could continue on with The Doctor and Rose. It could be left behind with Jack. It could stay behind with Jack. It could decide to go separate ways from the Doctor and Rose (I don't think Ten would be as tolerant of Our Dalek and It would sense that, so It goes on it's own adventures. Or maybe it goes and finds Jack after The Doctor becomes Ten.) Idk So many ways that it could go and I like a lot of them. I think bringing It back like Jack and letting them Travel together is my favorite.

I was just overtaken with this idea and had to share. I have no idea if this had been done broe, I'm sure it has, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I just started rewatching and it's over taken me. I'd love to hear other people's thoughts.

[pagingdoctorcarter]

I am here because I just finished reading “The most certain way” for like the third time and tears were shed. Your writing is so inspiring and honestly just a masterclass in storytelling. I aspire to even reach one quarter of your skills, i’m honestly so shook and grateful I found your story. Anna is such an underdeveloped character it’s honestly comical how she was written off the show, so i’m just grateful you’ve taken the task to flesh her and Carter out, mostly what could have been. Even with all the odds stacked against them I hope they make it. Anna has such a great sense of pragmatism it makes her come off as cold and unfeeling but the warmth she has with Carter…the way you’ve given us a glimpse into her feelings and emotions, how even she can’t make sense of them sometimes, it’s just so beautiful. It’s prose.

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for creating this wonderful piece of art!

I too, am on a deep rabbit hole of obsession with Noah Wyle, moving on (not quite) from The Pitt to ER. I’m so happy to have read your recent contributions. do you have any other projects cooking? Absolutely no pressure I’m honestly just curious and would want to make sure to keep my eyes peeled.

So, first, I want to let you know that this comment changed my whole day. I woke up to it, and I was so moved that I ended up setting aside real life things in order to sit and start the next chapter. Your kind comment directly impacted this fic, and absolutely inspired me to get into it with more enthusiasm and clarity than I'd felt in a while.

To be honest, I was feeling a little overwhelmed. The fic has gotten so long, and by virtue of its subject matter, feels so complex and sometimes convoluted that I was in danger of losing sight of where I was going and how to get there.

But I read your comment, and then I reread my fic trying to see what you saw, and realising that I knew where to go next.

Your kindness and generosity, in addition to the unspeakably wonderful and insightful support of @maisiec33 and @secretegret make this possible. And if you're looking for additional ER work, I would highly suggest you check them out on AO3. I can't express my love for them both with anything approaching adequacy.

Now, to your comment in particular, I am SO SO thrilled you're enjoying it so much. And I'm deeply, deviously glad to know I've made you cry.

I think your analysis of Anna is spot on, and her exit from the show is one of the things that truly *puts on tinfoil hat* think fundamentally altered the direction of things. It's so abrupt, and she was so involved in so many other characters that, to me, season five feels thematically and narratively aimless without her.

I love that you put your finger on the idea of her being pragmatic to the point of almost being cold. I hadn't really considered that, but I do spend a lot of time considering how her pragmatism and self-consciousness holds her back from being as effusive and expressive as she might truly feel. And "cold" is exactly how that would read to others. I love how precise she can be, and how compassionate, but also how impatient and demanding. One of the reasons I think she works really well with Carter is because she's basically the only relationship he has on the show that isn't compromised by some (big or small) social taboo or power imbalance. She holds him accountable without expecting perfection. She only demands he examine his own actions, not that he atone for anything. I love that.

And I think that, combined with her history with Max, would have made such a compelling conflict during Carter's addiction arc.

AND I'M SO GLAD YOU THINK I'M DOING HER JUSTICE.

As for things in the pipeline...nothing specific. I do owe @maisiec33 a whumpmay fic (I've not forgotten), and I've got several little pots simmering. Some more self-indulgent than others, but I do mean to get to them sooner rather than later! So sit tight!

In the meantime, here's a little snippet from the next chapter.

[lookingthroughmirrors]

Opinion on how annabeth punches and pushes percy, the judo flip and percy being reduced to a himbo malewife in hoo (can't make his way out of a paper bag without annabeth).

(Please note most of knowledge comes from PJO and HOO as I have not read much of the later series, but I do know the main points and events that happened and have read certain pages *cough* judo flip *cough*

I’ll start with the first part, Annabeth punching Percy (which happens the first time long before HOO) and the infamous Judo flip, which is for some reason very controversial.

Most of the arguments I see are one of these few things.

1. Annabeth was worried and did it out love

2. They were raised as demigods (child soldiers) so it’s not the same/ they are used to violence therefore it excuses her actions

3. There is nothing wrong with her hitting because it wasn’t like

First off, all of these arguments and any other ones I’ve seen when it comes to this topic and defending Annabeth are bullshit. Why? Because there is no excuse to hitting a partner. Slapping someone’s shoulder while joking or something in a similar context is miles different to what was happening here. Annabeth hit Percy hard, and she did it with the intention of making it hurt. There is no excuse for that. Sure, they were raised as Demigods and violence has always been a large part of their lives, but then shouldn’t Percy also lash out and hit Annabeth if that’s the case? And shouldn’t that be fine too? You don’t hit someone out of worry or concern either, not hard enough for an army to believe you to be a threat. Annabeth has never been nice to Percy, she canonically say in TLT that she doesn’t care if he dies, only that she can go on the quest. And ok, maybe that could be written off as an immature twelve year old, if her actions in later books didn’t continually prove that she hadn’t changed or developed. I think another fundamental issue in her relationship with Percy is that she can never be wrong, Luke being the biggest example of this.

Percy, even with his history and past friendship with Luke, was able to look at things objectively to an extent. He says multiple times that Luke had a point. I honestly think if it had’ve just been Luke, if titans hadn’t of been involved, that Percy would’ve joined Luke. But that’s a whole other thing. I only bring it up because I think Luke particularly is the best example of Percy having far better judgement than Annabeth, who refuses to be wrong. Something that again is addressed within BOTL, when she challenges the Sphynx because of her pride, and is an asshole to Rachel because she doesn’t want to rely on another person and is jealous. She likes being the leader, she wants to be the person people rely on, but that has always comes naturally to Percy despite how much he himself hates it.

I personally would’ve far preferred Perachel to be canon than Percab*th. Percy is always stressed about Annabeth, about doing the wrong thing where with Rachel feels like he can be himself, not like he has to live up to some invisible standard he can’t ever hope to meet.

I also, as I’ve written about before when discussing Percab*th is that Annabeth is not an essential character to HOO, and that she could’ve easily been interchanged for someone more interesting and dynamically different. I think Percy was sidelined to try and give Annabeth more purpose in the story. I also think Percy is consistently put down, berated and underestimated. He literally has people thinking he’s a god when he first meets them, that isn’t someone who lacks power. I also think Annabeth has always been a little bit scared of Percy to certain degree. Or at least acutely aware that she would not be able to put a fight if Percy turned on her and he put in a tiny bit of effort.

I also Percy is never given enough or really any recognition of everything he did. That he took the prophecy so it wouldn’t go to Nico. That he turned down immortality, not for Annabeth, but because of a promise he made to Luke and his years long stance that nothing is worth living forever for. I think the nuance of Percy as a character, and his ability to connect with and understand characters like Like and Ethan is severely underdeveloped. He has never been blind to the gods faults, he didn’t do what he did in the name of the gods. He did it for the campers, for the demigods who’d carry out their parents burdens simply because they had the audacity to be born. Demigods doomed to die from the moment they’re born because of their parents, like him. I particularly think Percy is too far often used as a scapegoat for Nico’s issues and often either villainised or dumbed down into a himbo.

It’s ridiculous, since Percy has repeatedly shown himself to have both better judgment and better strategising skills than Annabeth. Percy is better than Annabeth, and he has far more power than she ever will.

Percy is such an amazing and nuanced character with so much room to explore different characteristics he’s shown at different times and he is too often sidelined to boost another character (most often Annabeth and Nico)

Overall I don’t really like Annabeth, and I’ve yet to hear a viable reason as to why what she did should be ok. And I truly believe HOO did a disservice to Percy by dumbing him down, and making him reliant on Annabeth.

I hope you like my answer! Thank you so much for asking I absolutely love getting questions and I also love a chat so please feel free to keep it coming!

[archivalofsins]

Thoughts on Life Trailer?

Okay, I want to preface what I say in here with this is going to be incredibly blunt as I have a lot of feelings on Yuno's character, the fanon surrounding it, and what has happened since the release of the Life trailer.

Also because it's that time of the month for me and I'm just a bit more irritated than usual. So this might be all over the place.

I've made a lot of posts on Yuno, my feelings around her character, what I believe her crime to be, etc.

Fuck them kids.

The Big Yuno Post (that links to other ones)

I've never humored the idea of her crime being abortion or anything less than murder. I'm not going to start now either even with the lyrics shown in the Life trailer my opinion on this has not changed. I will never consider abortion murder.

Just not going to do that.

That's just my personal line. I'm not going to tell others what they can consider murder or not I'm just saying how I feel personally. I would not have cared about that baby regardless of how it died and when. I've said it before and I'll say it again-

I simply honestly don't give a fuck about Yuno's potential children at all.

Look I understand this is interesting to some people and many would enjoy having that sort of story. As well as the fact that there are more ways for a baby to be involved in this narrative without relating it to abortion. Even while still having it so Yuno did in fact have an abortion I've spoken about the many ways this is possible.

I'm well aware there are people who commit filicide. I consider that murder but depending on the circumstances it's not something I would personally vote Yuno guilty over.

Because postpartum depression is real and absolutely devastating and a lot of people develop it. This impacts not only how they take care of and view their child but themselves. So if it was a situation of Yuno had that, wasn't getting proper treatment for it, and that impacted her doing the things that she did. I would not vote that guilty.

However, I would simply not vote at all because that sort of story wouldn't interest me. So, I would not engage with it. It's just a matter of my personal preferences I've seen other works do that story and well many times before. At this point I'm just a bit like show me something I haven't seen before.

So, that would honestly bore me. Then on top of that I tend to like my murder mystery victims like I like myself usually alive before dying, having had a life that they lived and were now having ripped away from them too soon for no good reason, connections that would feel the loss of them, and a future.

That's the thing that hurts me about Mahiru dying. We knew her plans for the future. Her wishes and desires what she wanted to do when she left Milgram. An unborn child would not have planned out their life to that extent yet. Something can't plan out what it never had.

However I fundamentally believe once that baby is out of your body. It's looking forward to something, waking up the next day, it's favorite thing of baby food, seeing it's caretaker it's a baby at that point. You get what I mean? It can't think of tomorrow in the broad terms say all of the Milgram prisoners can. But it's no longer apart of the person that birthed it whether that person wants to be in the kids life or not...

I will never believe in the "I brought you into this world I can take you out of it". However, I do believe one has to at least be brought into the world to be taken out. I am not counting the death of something that was alive in theory as murder but again that's just me.

Yuno's sentiments in the lyrics displayed in the trailer did not surprise me. It couldn't surprise me that Yuno felt this way about abortion because she'd said so before.

"You want to make clear the truth...huh? Fu... Haha!"

(-273.15°C) 4:20s

Yes. Of course. As Milgram's guard, in order to correctly judge your sins-

"The result of doing loooots of sugar-daddying; ......abortion."

...!

"That's probably my murder. Well, please go ahead and partake of the truth."

...

"How is it? Satisfied? Then can we be done already?"

Yuno...you.

"You don't surprise much. As I thought, you knew it from the song extraction."

It's not as though Yuno was being subtle. Plus we still don't know how much the prisoners know of each others songs and their own. However given the direct references to MeMe in Doubles, This Is How To Be In Love With You in I Love You, how Cat seems to start off the tail end of Half, Kotoko's reference to Undercover and all of the first trial songs in Deep Cover, and now Futa referencing The Purge March with The Appare March.

I think we've hit the point past coincidence and can say for sure the prisoners are viewing their song extractions and the one's of others inside of the prison. Or have access to do so after the trial is complete in order to allow them to prepare for the next one.

Yuno plays it off like it's because I was hearing these voices but hearing isn't seeing what happened in the extraction. She wouldn't know we gleamed that from the visuals of the extraction unless she saw the visuals herself.

On top of that the phrases she claim to have heard that alluded to this have nothing to do with abortion,

(-273.15°C) 6:19s

"Second cool off reason is...... To put it simply, the fact that I was forgiven." What? "Well, to be precise, it's not the forgiveness itself, but..." I don't understand say it clearly. "Hm... Well then, should I tell you what I heard the voices in my head saying? "Because she's pitiable.", "There's no mistake that she has some kind of reason." "She's become like this because there's some problem in her home life- Because she doesn't know love yet!" Ah...! "Because of that... I'll forgive her."." It's true that I arrived at those kind of analogical reasonings. "Ah, yes yes. Well, this is going to be a purely- purely personal opinion but...... I find those kinds of assumptions preachy and unpleasant!" ...

"They're worthless! Arbitrarily deciding that I'm pitiable. Arbitrarily making up a backstory for me."

"Creating a personally idealized version of me. Creating an acceptable version of me."

"What changed her wasn’t MILGRAM." / "Not the judgements of MILGRAM, or being found “innocent” by strangers."

Oh Yuno learned through Mahiru's death that all life is precious and by extension that what she did was wrong. The reason she's suddenly reevaluating having an abortion is because of how much she cared about Mahiru and how much having a family and children mattered to her friend. Now she finally understands the value of what she gave up through seeing Mahiru try so hard and never be able to achieve her dream of being a mother.

Broke mindset abortion is never wrong if you wanna get one go ahead. Doesn't matter if that woman over there wants to get married, have and then raise several children you're not living her fucking life and if she can't do that you didn't stop her from directly achieving her dreams sometimes people can't do the things they want to. That doesn't mean one should stop themselves from doing what they want to placate some internalized guilt around having the options when others don't.

I can't have fucking steak often if my friend started eating steak daily I wouldn't ask them to abstain for my benefit I'd be like yeah buddy you eat that steak, that's a good steak right there send me pictures I'm really missing out right now but I'm so happy for you. My friend going out of country my whiney bitch ass who makes everything about me for some reason,

"But I don't have the financial security to leave my country right now so you should stay home in solidarity."

I can't have kids you have one for me individual that is what a surrogate is for. Modern problems have modern solutions. Live vicariously through someone a consensual way. Not whatever weird I wanted to be a mom again through you daughter shit being projected on Yuno right now. Where everyone expects her to leave Milgram and live out all of Mahiru's dreams for her.

Then look into the sunset and go I'm doing right by you as Mahiru's visage covers the sky cheering her on. Because that's how it has to be. Because that's how a bunch of strangers looking in on someone else's relationship would view it. So it has to be that simple.

It can't be because- I don't know the one person who tried to know her for who she was and accepted her for how she naturally is just died right in front of her as a bunch of strangers continue to try to tell her how she should feel about her life and her choices. Still creating the best personally idealized version of her to like instead of looking at her for who she's consistently been.

Also while we're here-

What's with this assumption that Mahiru was just over here talking to Yuno daily about wanting to go off and have kids. We saw Shidou during the intermission literally go you should become a doctor Yuno,

24/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)

Shidou: Thank you for your assistance with Shiina-kun’s treatment. It’s been a big help having you here. Both for her and for me. It’s good to know that even if something happens to me, you’ll still be around. Yuno: No way. I can’t do anything on my own. All I’m doing is helping with whatever you’re doing. It’s just like playing pretend as a nurse. Shidou: No, you’ve got a good sense for things like this. You’re quick to notice things, calm, and fearless. If you haven’t decided what you want to be in the future, maybe you should consider becoming a doctor yourself. Yuno: You think so? ……haha, stop it. I don’t want to be thinking about the future right now. And for someone like me to have other people’s lives in my hands…… that’s no laughing matter.

We saw Mahiru literally have conversations about kids with Shidou???

23/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Mahiru: You have a family right, Shidou-san……? How does it feel, being married, having kids……? Shidou: ……yeah, it’s a wonderful thing. Children…… yeah. They really are hope for the future. When you have your own, suddenly it becomes fun growing old. Since as you grow older, you get to see them grow up. Mahiru: Ah…… how lovely. It was always my dream to become a bride. Though maybe that seems a bit outdated. I wish it could’ve come true…… Shidou: It isn’t too late. I’m going to make sure you live. So let’s get out of here, and you make your wish come true. ……you still have so much to live for.

Like it wasn't even Mahiru's fucking dream to have kids. That's just what Shidou Kirisaki homed in on. Mahiru asked if he had a family but her first thing was literally asking how is it being married and the secondary thing was kids.

Then she plainly states that her dream was to get married. After he's like having kids is a beautiful and amazing thing Mahiru she goes that's nice I want to be married. I need to make that clear I want to be wed. You could say my dream is to be a bride not a mother. How was the marriage.

Shidou, "It isn't too late" Mahiru Shiina who did not get the answer to her fucking question, "..." When you want to vicariously feel what marriage is like through someone else but this guy is like kids, kids did you mention children?! Raising a kid is great when you have your own suddenly growing old isn't that bad anymore.

This would have been a great time to display her interest in having kids instead narrative had her blow past this and go I want to be a bride. Like I can guess where this assumptions comes from.

It more than like originates from this question and answer,

Q.17 If you had to describe yourself with an animal, what would it be?

Shidou: A ray, maybe. I don’t have any particular reason, I just like them Mahiru: Penguin! The way they raise a child together as a couple is wonderful!

But even then the focus isn't on the child it's the fact the couple is doing the work together.

Oh and maybe this assumption could be tied back to this timeline as well,

20/07/06

Amane: You want to know about my family……? My father is a truly wonderful person. He’s honest, values fairness and justice above all else, and will work himself to the bone for other people’s sake……. Why do you want to know? Mahiru: Oh, I was just wondering what sort of parents you must have for them to have raised such a good child like you. Fufu, I’ll keep it in mind for the future when I raise my own family. Amane: I see. If it will be of use to you, I’ll tell you more. It’s still a long way off for me, but for someone your age the prospect of finding a partner and having a family must be feeling a lot more real. Now that I think about it, I recall my mother was around your age when she gave birth to me…… Mahiru: Oof…! Even though you meant no ill with that statement, Mahiru onee-chan is suddenly really feeling the pressure~~!

Even so saying that Mahiru's dream was to raise kids and create a family is just not what she said. She said what her dream was being a bride. Sure being a bride can lead to doing those things of course. However being married doesn't always mean having kids or raising a family sometimes people are just married.

Outside of that we'd have to assume that Yuno was just around listening to all these conversations when anyone could just as easily look at all the conversations they had together.

In fact let me practice what I'm about to preach real quick here's every conversation they ever had,

20/06/29

Yuno: ……mmm, the food here is actually pretty nice. I wonder if the guard made it…… Oh yeah, Mahiru-san, do you cook?

Mahiru: Hm? I do~ Cooking, washing, cleaning, I love doing all those sorts of things~ Fufufu, I passed all my self-imposed training to become the perfect wife with flying colours!

Yuno: Wow, incredible… I don’t know whether to call that old-fashioned or what. ……isn’t it a pain?

Mahiru: Eh~? I don’t think it’s a pain at all~ It’s fun~

20/08/02

Mahiru: Yeah, I’m asking for what you like in the opposite sex! I mean, with a lifestyle like this we have a lot of free time, right? So earlier when I was talking with all the other girls we got onto the topic! It’s not often you get a chance like this to live with a mix of men and women together, so I thought it might be nice to use the chance to talk about stuff like this in preparation for when we leave.

Kazui: Ah…… Haha, I understand. I can see that’d be the sort of thing girls your age would be interested in, huh. How peaceful. What I like in the opposite sex… I don’t know if what I say will really be a good reference for you…… Ah, you know, since I’m at this age. I like a girl who can just smile free of worries. Seeing that’d make my old, tired heart feel young again.

Yuno: Uh-huh, I see, I see. ……that’s a total lie, right?

Kazui: Haha…… Give me a break here. You sure don’t make things easy for people, Kashiki-chan.

22/01/17 (Mahiru’s Birthday)

Mahiru: My birthday…… the day I was born…… But was there really any reason for me being born? Lately I’ve started to wonder that. Do you ever think about stuff like that, Yuno-chan?

Yuno: Eh? Not really. I mean, Mahiru-san, you’re really the romantic type, right? Not that I have anything against that. But isn’t it a bit much to think that everything in life has a meaning? If it makes you happy to think like that then go ahead, but if it doesn’t, then isn’t that in itself meaningless?

Mahiru: : ……you might be right. I’ve always just lived my life like this, so I don’t really know.

Yuno: We’ve all just gone through a bunch of things in life that happened to lead us here. It’s nothing more than a coincidence. Definitely not fate or anything. Probably. Even if there isn’t a meaning, you can still be happy that it’s your birthday. That sort of thing’s all you need in life really. So happy birthday, Mahiru-san.

22/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)

Mahiru: ……no, I’m fine. As long as I don’t move too much I don’t even feel any pain. Sorry for making you worry.

Yuno: Oh, really? That’s good then. Mahiru-san, if there’s anything you want then just ask. It’s not like it’s a huge burden, I can just ask for it along with my own stuff.

Mahiru: Ok…… I’m fine for now. Sorry, for making you worry. Ah, Yuno-chan…… Today’s your birthday, right? Happy birthday.

Yuno: ………… Haha, thanks. Thank you, but y’know. Is it really ok for you to be saying that to me when you’re in that situation? ……you really aren’t suited for Milgram, huh, Mahiru-san.

There every timeline conversation they ever had not one mention of kids having them or otherwise. However Mahiru pondering,

"But was there really any reason for me being born?"

With Yuno is more than likely what prompted her to ask Amane if she ever wished she were never born,

23/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)

Amane: What is it…… Kashiki Yuno. Don’t sit so close to me. Go away. Yuno: Sorry for barging in when you’re getting into your worldview thing. But Mahiru-san’s finally managed to get to sleep. Humour me with some small talk while I take a break. By the way, Amane. Have you ever wished you were never born? I’ve thankfully lived a pretty fun life so far, so haven’t really. But you seem to be struggling with something. So I kinda wondered if you thought like that. Amane: ……I don’t think that. Being born into this world is the first miracle any person experiences, and is something to celebrate. Even if after birth I was put through trial after trial, the value of that will never disappear. Yuno: Hmm. Ok. ……happy birthday, then. It’s good that you were brought into the world, I guess.

My main point by getting sidetracked by Yuno's relationships with other prisoners and Mahiru specifically is to touch on that Mahiru probably has nothing to do with Yuno's beliefs around abortion because those sentiments predate Mahiru's death,

(-273.15°C) 8:52s

"Yes yes. Of course, I think criminal offenses fundamentally aren't good." ... "But immoral acts that don't cause anyone misfortune do exist, right? Just like sugar-daddying, because it's been deemed ethically wrong, I was hiding it... But... Is someone being troubled by it? it's a win-win engagement, isn't it?" ... It's as I said before, I have no intent to pursue the rights and wrongs of your acts outside of murder. However, the reality is that that is connected to your murder. "Hm... that's true. I have no intent to say abortion isn't murder. I'm a respectable murderer after all."

One could say that the only reason that Yuno began to consider abortion in the way she did is because of the audience and Es. Es over the course of the Yuno's second interrogation states that they consider abortion murder and they are unwilling to weigh in on anything else outside of that.

Not even humoring engaging in Yuno's point on the other things she was more uncomfortable displaying and to her own admission hid because she recognized how socially unacceptable those things were,

"Just like sugar-daddying, because it's been deemed ethically wrong, I was hiding it..."

Until Es could relate it to what they and the audience believed Yuno's murder to be they weren't even going to consider what she was saying or her feelings on that topic,

It's as I said before, I have no intent to pursue the rights and wrongs of your acts outside of murder. However, the reality is that that is connected to your murder.

However this is the topic that matters to Yuno.

Because it's a topic that impacts her personally. There's no real use in arguing with Es about if abortion is murder or not because ultimately when she gets out of here she's going back into a society that has had legalized abortion since 1948 but only under special circumstances and the woman needs the consent of their spouse to have one. This is still true to this day.

"The Maternal Health Act requires spousal consent for all abortions without exception."

"Chapter II Sterilization Article 3(1)A doctor may perform Sterilization on a person who falls under any of the following items after obtaining consent from said person and said person's spouse (if said person is not legally married, including a person who in practical terms is in a relationship like a marital relationship with said person; the same applies hereinafter) if one exists. However, this does not apply to a minor: (i)a person whose pregnancy or delivery may endanger the life; and (ii)a person who currently has several children, and whose physical health may be lowered significantly with every delivery. (2)In the cases listed in the preceding items the doctor may also perform Sterilization on the spouse pursuant to the provisions of each item of the preceding paragraph. (3)Regarding the consent provided in paragraph (1), the consent of the spouse is not necessary if the spouse is not known or cannot express the spouse's intention."

I mean I guess it took two people to make that baby so they should both discuss what to do about that. However, it is a bit of a culture shock to read the the pregnant individual needs their partners consent in order to get an abortion. That is simply something I never expected in all honesty.

However, this is how my Yuno didn't want that guy's kid specifically thing can still win. Because hear me out what if you just personally don't want to have a kid with that specific person, never did, never will and you're pretty damn sure of that but the guy does want a kid with you and the law says his word matters more than yours in this instance. Unless you're a minor which Yuno was at the time of Milgram's start so honestly if she can legally get away with it then yeah do it.

This could mean that Yuno is more than likely saying I selfishly aborted you to allude to the I didn't get the father's consent before going forward with getting an abortion. I made that decision all on my own because it was what was best for me which is illegal under Japan's abortion laws actually unless you're a minor.

This could play into why she is asking for the person who conceived this child with her consent throughout all of Umbilical,

"What do you want to do? Please tell me."

Something that I didn't pick up on as necessary until finding out this other information. In the states it's just polite to discuss what one is going to do about the pregnancy with the person who conceived the child with them. It's just the appropriate thing to do even if you plan to get an abortion.

This is something depicted pretty decently in the movie Juno. Where the girl ultimately makes the decision on how to handle the pregnancy on her own throughout the movie. She does tell the guy in the situation but he's just supportive of whatever she wants to do because she's the one carrying the life.

So, my American ass just assumed she was just being very considerate when she kept asking this or wanted him to tell her not to have the abortion. I was unaware of the other contexts of this question could be viewed under until literally looking into stuff for this post.

“Abortion and Spousal Consent in Japan”

"This article discusses the legal situation surrounding abortion in Japan, with particular attention to the requirement of spousal consent. In essence, the legal system surrounding abortion in Japan lacks a women’s, trans, or nonbinary people’s “rights” perspective. 1. Maternal Health Act and Abortion Japan was one of the first countries in the world to legalize abortion. Although the crime of abortion continues to exist in the penal code, the Eugenic Protection Act was enacted in 1948, opening the way for legal abortion. In 1996, the eugenic provisions of this Act were removed, and the Act was renamed the Maternal Health Act. However, it still retains abortion as a crime in the penal code, and the Act with a history of population policy makes abortion possible. Article 14 of the Maternal Health Act provides that, with the consent of the spouse, a designated doctor may perform an abortion in cases where- 1) The continuation of pregnancy or delivery may significantly damage the pregnant person’s physical health due to bodily or economic reasons. Or, 2) A person was raped in a violent or threatening manner or at a time when the person could neither resist nor refuse and becomes pregnant. The term “abortion” as defined in the Act means artificially discharging a fetus and its appendages out of its pregnant person’s body in a period when the fetus cannot survive outside the pregnant person’s body, and the notice stipulates that the “time when life cannot be sustained outside the pregnant person’s body” is up to 22 weeks of pregnancy. "

Now I can't talk about abortion laws of other places from where I'm sitting... Oh; wait yes I can~ Because I'm from Michigan born and raised and in 2022 we legalized abortion on a state level. Put that shit in our state constitution. Like we don't do everything right here but oh my god looking into this stuff has made me appreciate some things. Having to ask a man for permission to abort when his pull out game was weak, condom was thin, or no contraceptive was used. People with a sperm count out here pregnancy entrapping women okay men can do it too I see y'all again.

Seriously everything keeps going back to what that one student that taught my sex-ed class said, "Pregnancy entrapment doesn't know gender stay alert out there." If nothing else got me I know that one dude junior year of high school who gave the most thorough sex education speech because he had to leave on time and our teacher was squeamish got me. I don't believe in fate but I'm thankful I happened to be in health class with him.

I should've applied the golden rule before this... It's not like I forgot it. Everyone is always looking for a shortcut to a committed relationship and there are people in the world who view pregnancy and children as that. Hope that dude is doing well.

Thank you for everything...

Like I might not be wrong in my last Yuno thing. However, I just thought that she tried to entrap a guy and got the wrong dude and went no don't want your kid goodbye. I didn't think she got "no you" on the entrapment gambit. Like I didn't even think of the possibility of a reverse uno in this situation because that's shit wild to me. She's over here trying to trap a completely different man into a pregnancy and then she gets trapped herself- Wait oh my god....

"I messed up, I found out."

New connotations to the entrapment theory this information adds soooo many fucking new layers. At first I only took this as her finding out that the person she wanted to be the father wasn't and this other guy was. But this adds so many more layers in this the final hour... Oh my god girl you're so fucking messy this is ridiculous not as messy as your fans but we'll get to that.

Like I'm willing to admit I never thought that looking into this would lead to oh yeah you need the guy who conceived the child with you to consent for you to get the abortion if you know who they are unless you're a minor.

Honestly, I think I would kill that man in this situation too. I think I would do it. I'm not even in this situation and would never be in a circumstance that could result in me being in this sort of situation. But if she did not kill this man I will write a fic where she did for my own sanity.

Because fuck that dude.

This man over here like I said before being a pick me. Like,

"We could be a family together. It would be great I always wanted to be a father don't do it. I don't consent to you doing that with your body."

Well I don't need your consent if you're dead that's an option too. We can abort two things today because I don't want to have kids with you and I never will want to have kids with you fuck off!

Chat should I fold that bitch, no yoga mat? Do I let him bump his gums or get him whacked? Because he's talking game like he's not afraid of the death screen right now. Got me fucked up; I gotta carry this baby to term and you around for life naww fuck that.

Like I would be out my body if someone had the audacity to go,

"I've never carried my own weight let alone that of another life but I'm gonna make you do it for my personal convenience and to fulfill my wishes."

I would have to throw hands publicly I'd catch an assault charge. It's pissing me off right now. Whatever it always devolves into this each time I talk about this character just ignore that. Fuck it.

Where were we? Oh yeah...

The time allowed to get an abortion was later shortened in Japan to 21 weeks because,

"A new regulation became effective that shortened the duration of pregnancy termination from 23 weeks of gestation to 21 weeks in view of the advancement of medicine that made it possible for prematurely born children to survive outside the uterus. In one case in 1988, when the fetus of a 16-year old girl was aborted in the 25th week of pregnancy and left unattended although alive, the doctor was indicted and punished, although the probability of survival of the child was estimated at about 50%. Under law the doctor who has performed a legal abortion is obligated to report it to the authorities who compile annual statistics. Since 1955, when the abortion rate was the highest (about 1,150,000 abortions), the number has been decreasing steadily. In 1991 the abortion rate was 13.9/1000 women of reproductive age (15-50 years); however, great differences existed between prefectures (6.4-26.0/1000). The decline of the incidence of abortion can be attributed to the increase of contraceptive usage.

Abortion in Japan

The same link states this if that helps for some reason that is unnecessary for me to specify.

"According to the law, the artificial abortion is restricted to the period, in which the fetus is not viable outside of the uterus. This period is prescribed by notification from the Ministry of Public Welfare; up to now it has been shortened twice (1976, 1991). Due to the introduction of economic reasons in the list of conditions and the simplification of the procedure the artificial abortion in Japan was virtually liberalized. Prosecution for illegal abortion is very rare in recent years. The number of reported artificial abortions decreases; in the about last 30 years it reduced by half. However, the increase in the number of abortions in women younger than 20 years of age is a problem. The abortion in teenagers is late compared with that in other age groups. Although the number of neonaticides does not seem to increase, the increase in the number of abortions in teenagers remains a serious problem in Japan."

So, that may give a bit of cultural context to why Yuno's statements on abortion are the way they are. However this isn't about all that. This is about how Yuno has always had this complicated relationship with the concept of abortion far before Mahiru died. As shown in her second voice drama.

The lyrics highlighted in the trailer and on her cd cover only serve to expand on this,

"LIFE, it can’t be ok that I’m the one who survived. LIFE, I thought only of me, and aborted you. LIFE, I wanted you to care enough to scold me and tell me I was wrong. Damn you."

This is just the continuing her narrative arc the one that was implied since the series began. So lyrics or the fact that Yuno herself views abortion as murder and something selfish didn't really surprise me. Because to be honest Milgram has been going on for several years I would have to simply be watching the series in a way where I was putting the interpretation that makes me feels the happiest first to not notice these things about Yuno.

She isn't specifically subtle in her beliefs. In fact she puts forth the effort to be true to herself and speaks her mind openly. She gives her personal opinions and prefaces them with those are her personal opinions. She admits to hiding what she did in regards to sex work because she recognized it was something look down upon in the environment she came up in and that made her feel the need to hide it.

Yuno has always had a complicated relationship with the concept of abortion. This is something that's been alluded to since the start of Milgram. The first thing she thought of upon being incarcerated for murder within Milgram involved blatant imagery and phrases that could easily be related to pregnancy and abortion.

Those were the images that came from her own mind at the very start of this. It is not surprising for someone who upon being arrested of murder thought it must be because of the abortion I had or simply focused on the abortion to hide the whole sex work thing which she does blatantly admit to attempting to hide that so I can't fully rule that out. Just clarifying that second part because I don't want to come off as being unfair to Yuno or saying she has sentiments that would be viewed as antiabortion under an American framework without giving due deligence.

Because she could simply be lying and picking the lesser of two evils that she has committed in order to receive lenience. But it doesn't seem like that's what she wants. Because the only thing being innocent has done for her is made her more upset. She does have a desire to be told she was wrong and held accountable to the same extent that Kazui does so that enforces this idea that she genuinely believes what she has done is wrong and wants it to be viewed as such.

That's something consistent with her characterization over the series.

Plus...

I can't help but find this situation Yuno's case is now in incredibly hilarious. Like I just can't help but laugh. The entirety of trial two people were harassing others for even being slightly critical of Yuno's behavior and saying if anyone voted her Guilty they were pro-life. They used the overturning of Roe v Wade at the time of the release of her second trial to push for her innocent verdict.

MILGRAM / Yuno - Tear Drop [The Second Trial Music Video] Premiered Sep 21, 2022

In June 2022, in a devastating decision that will reverberate for generations, the U.S. Supreme Court abandoned its duty to protect fundamental rights and overturned Roe v. Wade, ruling there is no federal constitutional right to abortion. The ruling in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization abandoned nearly 50 years of precedent and marked the first time in history that the Supreme Court has taken away a fundamental right. 

Like the fans of the series were the ones to connect Yuno's case to a very real issue millions of Americans were reckoning with at the time in a shameless bid to get their favorite fictional girl a innocent verdict with no concern to anyone in real life.

Unlike a good portion of the Michigan constituents and legislature who had me when no one else did. Just want to shout you out too real quick. Like that shit was overturned in June 2022 and y'all came together and said we're getting it back this fucking year it's going to state vote. Did that shit with a quickness. I don't think Yuno's trial even ended yet before that happened.

I'm saying this to point out it was Yuno's defenders and diehard fans who put her in this situation. Those are the people who put her case into this pro-choice or pro-life framing. Nobody else and I believe they did that because it was the easiest way to secure her innocence not because they ever cared about women's autonomy and right to choose.

This framing was at times the only justification a large majority of people hinged their forgiveness of her on.

So of course now these same people are scrambling trying to convince people that conflating abortion to murder isn't a "pro-life" sentiment. Contorting themselves as much as they can to go in fact the belief that abortion is a selfish act is a totally okay belief that should go unquestioned especially if the character making these statements is a woman herself that has had an abortion.

We shouldn't police how people feel about their individual actions. Women should have the freedom to feel the ways they do about the choices they make with their bodies, their lives, and so on. Doing anything can led to a plethora of different responses and the same act won't impact people the same way. Just like they won't have the same reasons for doing it.

Yes, Karen. People are allowed to have complicated feelings on actions they've done and your strawman is doing a bang-up job on the soapbox you placed it out on today. However, this actually has very little overlap with blatantly stating abortion- An at times life saving medical procedure that everyone should have the right and safe access to is the same as murder.

We all recognize that right?

Also just because everyone should have the right to their feelings and space to process them doesn't mean the statements they make during that process exist in a vacuum. If someone says some discriminatory shit simply because they were having a bad time that doesn't make the thing they said any less rooted in discrimination or above being interrogated.

Moralizing getting an abortion a medical procedure that people decide to receive for a myriad of reasons is something I personally consider wrong no question because of the ways that mindset has been used to disenfranchise women in my environment. Especially when that escalates to comparing the act to murder or to the unfortunate death of an adult. Sure there may be cultural reasons as to why Yuno views this topic in the way she does and those reasons do deserve to be respected. However claiming that one cannot have pro-life sentiments or conservative values simply because they don't know what that is and that's not the language used around it where they come from...

Is like me responding to someone saying I hurt their feelings with,

"Well what I did wouldn't hurt my own feelings. So, why don't you just look at it from my perspective. Just put yourself in my shoes for a little bit then you'll see why you shouldn't feel so badly about what I did to you."

I'm not telling Yuno how to feel about her abortion.

Saying that certain statements mirror a sort of ideology that is prevalent in your own culture and examining that isn't a personal attack on the person making those statements. It's just an observation. Usually it's considered this cool thing called starting a dialogue.

However in this case it seems like a lot people simply ended up feeling personally attacked then wound up getting offended. In a similar way to how someone gets offended when a minority goes hey that thing you said was kind of discriminatory which made me feel this way and instead of going oh shit how could I change that, that wasn't my intent I'm so sorry. They go, "Are you calling me a bigot?! Are you saying I'm [form of discrimination of your choice here]."

Then the person who brought this up to begin with has to feel like an ass, try to deescalate, and assuage the other persons bruised ego and go no I was just trying to say that what you said has a cultural connotation that comes off as exclusionary and it made me feel uncomfortable and unwelcomed. It wasn't an attack on your character but an assertion of my boundaries and what I'm okay with. So, I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak about those things around me or like that to me again. Which at worst will ultimately end in the other party going everyone's too sensitive *continues punching down* no one can take a joke.

Instead of even attempting to learn about the social issue that the audience was so quick to weaponize in order to push Yuno to the innocent verdict she received last trial. A social issue that is rooted in the United States where the terminology and case used to push for that verdict came from. People would rather spend their time going no she's not that she can't be that and it's fine to have complicated feelings on the abortion you got.

To me everything I've seen mostly from comments on the trailer for Life on YouTube appear to be incredible leaps the audience has taken in order to end up landing on,

"This is why abortion is morally wrong and unethical as well as why viewing it that way even if you had one is correct and should go unquestioned."

Even if a person has one it's emotionally understandable for one to consider that as taking a life in the same way as murder is taking a life. It's fine for those that do it to find it sinful and indefensible. Especially if that's only their personal belief and they have no intention of pushing it on anyone else.

That's a really weird sentiment to see getting spread around and discussed as though it does no harm. As though it actually exists in a vacuum simply because the person says it is like well this is just how I feel though. It even weirder with how people previously framed voting Yuno Innocent or Guilty as Pro-choice vs Pro-Life debate.

Like trial two if someone even considered the guilty verdict for Yuno they were a misogynist who didn't think women should have autonomy and the right to choose. Like everyone pretended to be ten toes down for a woman's right to choose until it came down to having to question how some woman in society are not down for a woman's right to choose and do think abortion is morally wrong and comparable to murder.

It reflects this belief in modern society that just because someone is a part of a marginalized group in this case a woman they cannot inflict marginalization upon others in that group. I.E I can't be sexist I'm a woman, I can't be homophobic I'm lgbtqia, I can't be racist I'm black. All convenient things people tell themselves to avoid having to reckon with their own internalized biases and capacity for bigotry.

I mean I can't believe I'm gonna say this in 2025 but maybe these lyrics from Everyone's A little Bit Racist from Avenue Q will be helpful here.

"You're a little bit racist. Well, you're a little bit too. I guess we're both a little bit racist. Admitting it is not an easy thing to do." "Between me and you, I think everyone's a little bit racist sometimes. Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes. Look around and you will find no one's really color-blind. Maybe it's a fact we all should face." "If we all could just admit that we are racist a little bit- Even though we all know that it's wrong maybe it would help us get along."

Overall the song is about recognizing that everyone has biases and makes snaps judgments on others based using racism as the vehicle to display this concept. Basically it displays racism to showcase that everyone has biases and no one is exempt from discriminating.

It's best lines in my opinion being,

"Bigotry has never been exclusively white." And "Everyone's a little bit racist it's true but everyone is just about as racist as you."

The lines to me serve as a reminder that just because one is marginalized or one is in a position of privilege it doesn't immediately mean one person is more or less discriminatory than the other. The only thing that can cause a person to remain inconsiderate, bigotted and discriminatory or racist is them being to afraid to interrogate the fact they can be that. So, instead they keep coming up with justifications as to why they can't.

Which is exactly what's happening with Yuno in this case. Because instead of interrogating the idea that the mindset she has could be harmful to not only others but herself. People want to explain it away because they don't want to accept that this character they've spent years justifying can have beliefs they may disagree with and consider wrong due to their own experiences.

However, I can accept and I can fully say that her stance on abortion is wrong and it does bring to pro-life and anti-abortion sentiments that I've had to deal with in my own life. It simply is what it is. Also I personally don't believe someone's personal beliefs on abortion should impact whether their right to get one should be respected and secured. I don't give a fuck what someone's personal beliefs on abortion are I give a fuck about people having access to the procedure if they want to receive it or need to.

It really is that simple a person doesn't have to be signing praises for abortion, what it is, or even believe an unborn child isn't a person until after a certain number of weeks. They could very much think it was murder and consider that bundle of cells a life. The point is they had access to the option not how they feel about the act itself.

It's simply my personal belief we shouldn't be moralizing medical procedures. That's just a me thing.

Hell, at the time her case was being looked at under this framing during trial two I found it really silly. I also thought wow can't wait to see how this bites you all in the ass which lol, lmao even. I mostly thought this because it was just a gross misuse of that terminology.

To me it seemed as though those using these terms don't seem to understand the full weight, connotations, and historical context of them in American culture even if they live in the west.

I feel if people did understand they would recognize a lot of what they're saying about Yuno's case aligns a good deal with antiabortion sentiments within the US. As well as calls back to Americans tentative history with abortion rights and access to them.

Abolishing Abortion: The History of the Pro-Life Movement in America By Organization of American Historians

"Whatever the rationale, few abortions were prosecuted before the mid-nineteenth century because quickening was so difficult to prove. Only women themselves could testify to fetal movement. This system of legal but quiet abortions fell apart in the mid-nineteenth century. The first “right-to-life” movement was not led by grassroots activists, but rather physicians, anxious about their professional status. Before then, physicians had been a largely unregulated bunch, without the institutional or cultural authority to corner the market on healing. In the early nineteenth century, a variety of other healers competed with physicians for business, especially the business of women’s reproductive healthcare. While many physicians believed that scientific medicine would benefit their patients, some, in order to hurt lay healers’ business, sought governmental licensing and regulation to weed out the competition. Physicians used anti-abortion laws, pushed in state legislatures, to increase their own stature and undermine their opponents. Of course, many would have narrated this story very differently. Some physicians claimed that this campaign was a product of superior medical knowledge. Many argued that women (and rag-tag group of healers who offered abortion) did not have adequate embryonic knowledge to determine when life began. But historians have noted that this medical insight was not a result of any advancements in embryonic knowledge. In fact, there were none during these campaigns. Instead, the fetus was merely a stand-in for a broader cultural project. Here, the movement tapped into concerns over women’s increasing education, autonomy, and the extension of rights, as it reasserted women’s connection to and limitation by their own reproductive anatomy. Women’s bodies, not their words or actions, confessed to doctors the “naturalness” of uninterrupted reproduction and the “truth” about fetal life. Bodily processes could “speak for themselves,” though they did need doctors to translate. This effort largely succeeded. By 1900 every state had a law forbidding abortion at any stage, whether through the use of drugs or procedures. Almost all the laws passed during this time included a therapeutic exception, where licensed physicians could provide abortions at their own discretion as long as the abortion preserved the life of the mother. "

"While this loophole allowed many women to obtain abortions, it also made doctors the ultimate arbiters of the morality and legality of abortions."

Which continues,

"In 1959 the American Law Institute, a group of professionals that put together model legislation, advocated for the liberalization of abortion law. They suggested that the law should make exceptions for women who were raped, whose fetuses were deformed, and whose mental or physical health was at stake. The abortion reform movement was made possible by a larger cultural shift in Americans’ ideas about reproduction and abortion. In the 1960s Americans witnessed the heartbreak of infant death and extreme fetal deformity. Thalidomide, a sleeping pill, caused thousands of birth defects in Europe and the United States. Later, an outbreak of German measles produced thousands of stillbirths and cases of babies born with major abnormalities. Images of white middle-class women and their deformed infants peppered American media, capturing the imaginations and parental fears of many Americans.  In the late 1960s a nascent feminist movement began to argue that women could not be full citizens unless they could control reproduction. Together these shifts helped push state legislatures to reform their abortion laws. Colorado was the first to amend its law in 1967, followed quickly by others, most famously California in 1967 and New York in 1970."

Now I'm not going to quote this whole thing only highlight the important bits so we are all on the same page about this. Instead of just throwing around terms like they mean fucking nothing and pretending something isn't what it is.

However, I do highly recommend reading the whole thing.

"In the midst of states’ efforts at abortion reform, the modern antiabortion political movement was born. Small groups of Catholic doctors, nurses, lawyers, and housewives joined together to oppose liberalization. In 1967 the National Council of Catholic Bishops aided their campaigns with support, money, and the formation of the National Right to Life Committee. Early Catholic activists were often joined by a handful of non-Catholics, usually Protestants, Mormons, or Orthodox Christians. Supporters of abortion reform argued that “right-to-life” forces were attempting to push Catholic values on a diverse American populace, and consequently many antiabortion groups worked to present themselves as ecumenical or non-denominational. Most of these early groups failed to stop changes in their state’s abortion law but they did have some successes in the early 1970s, suggesting that not every state was ready for abortion reform. The 1973 Roe vs. Wade decision, legalizing abortion in all fifty states, changed everything and nothing. In the 1970s the anti-abortion movement remained heavily Catholic, and they continued to pitch their issue as a rights issue rather than a religious one. But in other essential ways the movement changed. Before Roe, the anti-abortion movement was very small, geographically disperse, and focused on individual state legislatures. After 1973 activists and state legislators alike worried that Roe prescribed a one-size-fits-all abortion law that could only be addressed at the national level. Thus, in the 1970s, activists promoted the Hyde Amendment (which successfully prohibited federal funding of abortions through Medicaid) and pushed, unsuccessfully, a constitutional amendment banning abortion. After 1973 the direction of pro-life activism changed, even as its demographics and core political arguments remained the same. "

"While antiabortion activists retained their focus on individual fetal rights, they began to develop new ways to convey that message to the public that focused on the fetus and excised the woman."

"The tools that had the largest effect were graphic pictures of aborted fetuses, the most important drawn from John and Barbara Willke’s Handbook on Abortion. Some later called it the “Bible of the pro-life movement.” The Willkes were a Catholic couple, a doctor and a nurse, who became convinced that pictures would help end legal abortion. The four pictures they put in their book, collected from sympathetic doctors and pathologists, were quickly reproduced and used in all parts of the movement."

"Their work built on a longer, medical history of viewing and personifying the fetus."

That is a person the individual it's in however is not. They're a selfish demonic creature that is trying to rob this other person of their right to life. They're stopping them before they can even start.

I love it when people are like that's not a pro-life sentiment.

Doesn't know the history and the myriad of other ways people have illustrated this belief that would make it abundantly clear yes it is the thing. Also doesn't care to educate themselves. Because in actuality most people now a days don't care about women's autonomy and everyone's right to it further than trying to make other people believe they do.

So, they can feel like a good person for a few fucking milliseconds by parroting her body her choice mindlessly and never engaging further than that catchy little phrase.

"Feeling magnanimous? INNOCENT? I’m so not that."/ "Where’d you get your half-baked sense of justice?"

Because all they really want is to be able to pat themselves on the shoulder and go I was really pro-choice today, that was so progressive of me, I'm such a good person. Even if they were only that in theory.

Because the woman in the scenario remains a vehicle for the speaker to assert their own moral superiority and intelligence either by the speaker coming to their defense or scrutinizing the woman's life choices. Never realizing the woman has been excised through the act of the public reducing her choice into their moral dilemma but let's not talk about that.

Because that would actually be facing the problem.

Instead let's just put a convenient labels on the situation and then do mental gymnastics to say that's not what's going on when the dichotomy of those labels are no longer in the favor of those who placed them there.

She still has the right feel however she personally does over her abortion. If it was something she feels guilt or has trauma over that's natural and saying that can't possibly,

"In the 1980s and 1990s, many pro-lifers, especially those who remained in more mainstream right to life groups, focused on making access to abortion more difficult on the state level. Due to their efforts, states across the country passed laws that required parental notification, “informed consent” (mandating women view materials about fetal development and the risks of abortion), and waiting periods between the initial consultation and the abortion. In 1992 the Supreme Court validated the legality of such laws in Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Pennsylvania v. Casey, crafting a new rationale to determine the constitutionality of laws regulating abortion. Restrictions were legal as long as they did not place an “undue burden” on women seeking the procedure, validating the work of anti-abortion activists and making abortion increasingly difficult to access—especially for rural or poor women. The radical and moderate groups differed in terms of strategy, but together they succeeded at reorienting the conversation about abortion. Both types of groups worked to make pro-life politics central to social conservatism and by extension the Republican party. They made fetal life central to how many Christians viewed their religion and their politics. They asked conservative children to think of themselves as “survivors of the Abortion Holocaust.” And they helped new “family values” constituents consider the fetus a member of the family and legal abortion the biggest challenge facing the modern family. In all these efforts, activists were successful, not for all Americans but for enough to build an expansive movement with the defense of fetal life as its core. Perhaps most importantly, activists from the 1980s onward reinterpreted women’s relationship to abortion. They brought back the old argument about the “truth” told by women’s bodies and gave it a modern twist. Feminists, they argued, had persuaded women to deny the fundamental truth of fetal life. Abortion damaged women’s bodies, but also their psyches. Women, they argued, were traumatized by abortion and like veterans, suffered from a form of post-traumatic stress. Only the pro-life movement could turn the tide against the psychological and physical damage of abortion and feminism. In the 1980s and 1990s pro-life activists recast themselves as both the protectors of women and the true women’s rights movement. Increasingly, they claimed to be an individual rights movement, a civil rights movement, a family values movement, and a women’s movement. "

Bitch the pro-life movement in the states wrote that before any of Yuno's fans thought it don't let them people in the states play you like it didn't. Because they're about to make people who don't know get acquainted and it's a slippery slope and they're hoping you're all stupid enough to slide down it. I mean in their opinion you already did once,

Hey you know the game. Give some off us an inch and we'll take a mile before you even start. As Shidou Kirisaki said this world is cruel and merciless. Best to remember that before trial three start hitting different. Because once it hits you might not have time to counter.

I mean they even went the extra mile to assert that this is the authors personal opinion and he's the one making it come off that way and not a consistent part of the characters characterization up until this point that the audience ignored and the choices made by the voters exacerbated.

So much so that the writer made a comment on it,

"The debate over whether one is pro-life or pro-choice is not something that tends to be discussed with the same intensity or frequency in Japan as it is in many other countries. Even the terminology itself is not particularly embedded in everyday discourse here. This is not to say that such discussions lack value, but because I depict the characters as people living in Japan, it wouldn’t feel realistic to have them directly express those kinds of positions. Ideologies and philosophies don’t come first—they are formed through personal experiences and emotions. The characters in MILGRAM are currently encountering such formative moments. Had they made different choices, they would have encountered different experiences, felt different emotions, and perhaps even arrived at entirely different philosophies. There are many possible outcomes for how they might have felt, and how they might have thought. This isn’t unique to MILGRAM. In all of my works, I don’t aim to present a single “correct” answer. What I try to depict is the process of being human—uncertainty, inner conflict, and the ambiguity that comes with it. If I had a fixed message or ideology that I wanted to convey through the characters in MILGRAM, I would have written a predetermined, closed narrative. I wouldn’t be using the kind of interactive system that the project is built on now. As a writer, I would be truly grateful if readers could focus on what a character feels and how they change in response to the events that unfold before them. It’s not about saying, “this is how all people should be,” but rather, “this is how he or she ended up.” If that humanity—the individuality of each character—can be acknowledged, I would deeply appreciate it. That said, I fully believe it’s valid and even important for the story to be received and interpreted through the lens of each culture’s unique values and sensitivities as it spreads internationally. I only hope that these differences can be respected—and even enjoyed—as part of what makes diverse perspectives so meaningful."

SOURCE

Also,

"I would also like to clarify that the characters in MILGRAM are not intended to represent all Japanese people, or even people of their generation or social category. Haruka, Yuno, Futa, Mu, Shidou, Mahiru, Kazui, Amane, Mikoto, and Kotoko are simply who they are. They may be like you, or they may be entirely different—and both are valid possibilities."

SOURCE

All again while using labels most seem to not know the meaning of because they truly seem to believe that getting an abortion immediately means someone is in favor of reproductive rights, woman's right to choose, or even simply believe abortion is ok when none of those things have ever been mutually exclusive.

Regardless of how either side of the this issue has been labelled over the years one having many more labels than the other antiabortion, abortion abolitionist, pro-life- Pro-choice, abortion reform. The sentiment has remained the same and it's a sentiment the audience echoed not only in the states but globally in regards to Yuno's case.

That unborn child is just as alive as the twenty-two year old woman that was brought into Milgram and died over the course of it. That unborn possibly not even half-bakes bundle of cells had just as much of a right to life as any of the people in that prison and that evil wretch of a woman decided it didn't. Decided that life wasn't convenient for her and snuffed it out. No, I will not interrogate her killing anything else it must be this and me believing that says nothing about my beliefs or relationship with the concept of abortion.

What type of cruel callous person with the ability to conceive a child wouldn't realize they're ending a life by not carrying that to term?

Me, actually. What the fuck do you have to say about it? Why is it your business, why did you make it your business? Contraceptive does not have one hundred percent success rate, plan b fails, condoms break, birth control goes bad, you forget to take it, or it also just fucking doesn't work sometimes magically even if you get that shit put in your arm. Then sometimes fetuses develop in such a way it could literally kill the mother.

But again you know what being pro-choice means it means accepting the fact you don't need to know any of that information or receive justifications that are reasonable to you to respect someone else's choice.

I don't go up to guys being like,

"How, how could you be so reckless? One of those sperm cells could have grown up to be the person who created the cure for cancer but since you were jacking it millions will continue to suffer. That could have been the kid, our kid! Yet, your early ejaculation and/or pull out game stopped it before it even had a chance! You're a fucking murderer. You are a diseased and sinful perverse person who cares about nothing but your own satisfaction. Sexual gratification, no; sex done for anything outside of the expressed purpose of reproduction is wrong and you sir should be ready to have child if you want to feel the pleasure of intercourse. It doesn't matter if you did it alone Kevin it's wasteful and wrong you didn't even give them a chance to swim for it- So gross; disgusting."

Because that sounds fucking wild- That is weird! Yet, this is exactly how it's sounded to me each time people have treated abortion like it was Yuno's crime. That's how so many people have sounded talking about Yuno from jump.

Like oh you've got me fucked up. I'm supposed to drastically uproot my life because the little swimmer that could swam the mile to fertilize one of my eggs instead of ending up in a sock or sheet of tissue. No, ridiculous assertion. Ridiculous to actually assert and conflate my basic human right to get a medical procedure if I so choose and if it's of benefit to me, my safety, and well being to selfish filicide.

I will actually throw hands one hundred percent that is my line.

But to then state that the views expressed around the concept of abortion by the audience including how the audience criminalized it by putting it on the table as her crime and only focusing on that. Regardless of if this was done because it was the easiest way for others to sympathize with her or find it in their shallow hearts to forgive her.

To see it stated that view is not pro-life and how the audience engaged with her story had nothing to do with her feeling how she does now.

Naw wild, I'll vote her guilty simply because y'all pissing me off now. 2025 is fuck around find out year. I'd do it if turns out she's in here simply for abortion because I'd be voting her guilty for wasting my fucking time at that point. I was on the phone with a friend yesterday and they asked what do you think of that and I said,

"I think that if the only reason she's in here is because she's conceptualized getting an abortion as being as bad as murder to the extent that her guilt over it brought her here. That's a skill issue."

Like Yamanaka said the prisoners could be like you and they may be nothing like you at all both of those things are valid. We can vote for any reason and I don't like having my time wasted on things that aren't murder. I just don't. Literally the guy coming up after her is coming closer and closer to going I committed arson on a local building many people died and the person before is going boo-hoo I had a medical procedure and believe I deserve to be punished for doing so because that was akin to murder and you're being mean by not saying it is.

Alright be punished then. Sorry damn. Okay have fun with that. Yeah, girl pop off I'll give you what you're asking for.

I don't like being made to be apart of your self flagellation routine but have at it. I don't know I feel really uncomfortable right now I don't think I personally need to be involved in your degradation kink but if you're making it into that... Yeah...who's a terrible murderer? For getting that abortion you baby killer you- Is this doing it for you??? What do you want girl I don't understand...

Meanwhile over in cooler Milgram where murder is murder and we party about it,

"Clear roads ahead APPARADE, the dogma can't be stopped."

When I compare this line to these,

"LIFE, it can’t be ok that I’m the one who survived. LIFE, I thought only of me, and aborted you. LIFE, I wanted you to care enough to scold me and tell me I was wrong. Damn you."

All I can think is Jackalope saying,

"It all feels very emo and I can’t bring myself to be very interested."

Something that makes sense because Yuno does admit she is the most like Kazui without a doubt.

Q.18 Which of the other prisoners is most like you?

Yuno: Kazui without a doubt.

Yet, this feels more like it may turn out to be like her Half song where she's just getting down on herself for things not going how she wanted or expected them to.

Which outside of all the politicizing and misuse of terminology thing is fine.

It's just not something I'm excited for given the current state of politics where I live.

Ultimately I ended up having a lot of thoughts because in my excitement for more Yuno content I looked at the comments on her trailer and learned of this is she pro-life or pro-choice debacle. So when I did set out to write this I was actually really annoyed. I was so annoyed at the comments on Life that I actually just went fuck it let's watch Juno and Easy A then wound up doing that with friends.

I just fucking despise the way in which people consistently belittle women then try to soften their choices and statements to make them more palatable ad better fit their personal preferences like they're doing the other person or character a service like,

"So nauseating...so creepy...will you please disappear."

Glad this statement by her continues to be completely correct.

Whelp I'll end with this which is I was super tempted to just answer this ask with but ended up writing all this instead,

"Very tempted to answer the ask, "Don't fuck with Milgram fans they'll shun a woman for having bodily autonomy so hard it makes her socially conservative.""

Got mention this a joke and huge reduction of what transpired here.

[yuseirra]

I really enjoy drawing them as gods! :) I'll keep drawing this version too while I can (and even after things clear up~)

I jotted about these guys earlier AGAIN and it's so funny, I'll put it in the read more

(was written in another language, translated in bulk by chatgpt~)

I set up my tablet to draw all weekend and started listening to Fatal again.

Seriously, this song… it’s just Kamiki, saying, “I can’t live without Ai~~ I want to see Ai so badly… Without her, I’m really going to die, I feel like I’ll die—what am I supposed to do?” That’s exactly what it sounds like.

It’s like Ai is Ame-no-Uzume, and Kamiki is her husband. He’s like a god who lost his wife and went completely insane. I can’t hear it any other way, seriously. If this isn’t the case, I’d be so disappointed! There’s just no other explanation for all the bizarre situations in the story. Every time I hear this song, I feel like I’m losing my mind because of this interpretation…

This isn’t Aqua. Right now, Aqua let go of his wish for Ai and is sinking deeper as he saves Ruby. No, it’s Kamiki who’s crying about not being able to live without Ai, wanting to see her that badly. What are we supposed to do with him? Why does he love Ai this much? (To be fair, the backstory is there. Watching his character unfold, I thought, "Yeah, it makes sense he’d fall for Ai.” Even before the song and Chapter 154 came out, I was certain of it.) He’s the only character who’d have such a “lack of Ai.” He lost Ai, and now he’s like, “My destiny is to get her back!” I’m sure that’s what’s driving him. He studied science in college, built a company, and went around doing all these things while telling himself, “It’s my fault, my fault,” and witnessing people dying. Seriously… what is this?

And his eyes—I feel they were originally golden, but it feels like something mixed in because of that black star, which changed the color. His eyes look so murky. I don’t think they were meant to be purple. Every other character has clear eyes, but whenever they show his in the anime, his color is cloudy, almost like something else is mixed in.

The Hoshino family’s eye colors connect to their names, but Kamiki’s name means “light,” so why the sudden purple? It could be, but his eyes look so cloudy, and no other character’s eyes have that quality. He’s not in his right mind… he really seems possessed. And why are the lyrics like this? Why do they have this meaning? If this isn’t revealed, I’m going to seek out the author myself. It’s almost funny. This song is just so strange.

It sounds like constant crying—a song of intense longing, he’s losing his mind. Once again, this isn’t Aqua’s emotional arc. Kamiki’s emotions are ten steps deeper than Aqua’s, maybe even more unhinged. He literally seems unable to live without Ai. But this makes sense if they’re a divine couple; they literally can’t function without each other. They need to be together, which even aligns with the things Kamiki says in the story. He was hers and she was his- What is he, really? He isn’t your average person. He’s genuinely strange. What he does is something that can't just be explained with charisma or “because he’s charming.” No, Ai and Kamiki must have originally been gods.

Honestly, Kamiki must be a god who was deeply devoted to his wife, driven to madness because people killed her. That’s why Aqua was assigned to dunk him into the sea to get him… This storyline would make so much more sense if this is it.

Ai must be crying in heaven if she sees what’s become of her husband. It’s so absurdly tragic. I feel like this direction would make more sense. I mean, what kind of story would it be if Kamiki were just “the bad guy”? We already know he was fundamentally a good person. How could an ordinary person even do all these things? I know the setting is modern, with cell phones, electronics, law enforcement, etc. But honestly, people buying into this guy’s ideals to this degree is baffling. He could only pull this off if he were a god.

Fatal… I’m sure I’ve shared my thoughts on this song countless times, but every time I listen to it, I feel like I’m one step closer to understanding its meaning. This song’s emotions are just so Kamiki. If this is Kamiki, though… well, he must really have loved Ai. He’s struggling so much, and you can really feel what it means to not be able to live without someone. He simply can't bear it. That’s how strong his love is.

At this point, can’t we just let him meet Ai again already? He fell apart because he couldn’t see her, even though he wanted to so badly. Was he really at fault for all of this? Is he actually responsible for Ai’s death? I don’t think so… If Ai had been there, he probably wouldn’t have ended up like this.

We need to find out the real reason Ai died, don’t we? This song has to mean something, right? There has to be a reason this song came out. I wouldn’t have started down this path if I didn’t feel I already knew the answer. If I were the author, I’d never make a character who wants to see Ai so desperately into her killer. Maybe Kamiki has some godly power that became unstable out of his anxiety, causing the chain of events that led to her death, but...

Now that we know Ai truly loved Kamiki, I can’t believe he’d even lay a finger on her. It just doesn’t fit his character or story. His behavior shows he isn’t capable of that. This is the same person who couldn’t even retaliate against people who treated him horribly, even those he cared less about than Ai. He was a kind person.

Looking at Kamiki’s consistent behavior, there’s always this gentleness, almost peacefulness. Even if he’s lost it now, that gentleness seems closer to his true nature. I feel like something forced its way into him and twisted him.

The person Ai loved was probably this part of Kamiki, the gentle exterior. If you look at it, it makes sense why she’d fall for him. He’s fundamentally that kind of person, but something happened to him.

I’m rarely wrong about things like this… There aren’t many chapters left now, so if I’m wrong, I’ll just take it as it comes.

Was Kamiki really the kind of person Aqua could treat that way? Honestly, I wasn’t satisfied watching the interactions between Tsukuyomi and Aqua. It didn’t feel good to watch them connect and talk sympathetically. Plus, if it turns out Ai loved someone who was truly insane, that’s another problem.

If Kamiki really did do horrible things, it would make more sense if they were god-level punishments from a god who went insane. If he were just a regular boy who lost it and became a serial killer… what even is that? That would be so disrespectful to people who have similar backgrounds. For a character like this, I feel like there should be a certain amount of care in how he’s handled. Otherwise, I'd really be upset. I’m sure the author understands that.

Anyway… it feels like the answer’s already in the song. Like the answer’s already been given. There aren’t many chapters left, so I guess we’ll find out soon.