#I could fly home tomorrow and just feel Healed

[idsb]

It is so fucking WILD listening to Lover while traversing across Melbourne,,,,, thought I’d never walk my Cornelia Street again cried and cried and cried because leaving felt like death by a thousand cuts and here I am, walking it, alive, London Boy fresh in the DMs in a happy friendly way. Couldn’t listen to this album for like 2 years because of it. And I love it and I eventually found the way to and I’m listening and I’m smiling because the memories make me happy instead of sad and yearning and I’m just! I’m just here! After all this time in the place I never thought I’d be listening to the album I never thought I could play

[puckinghischier]

Suds n Sorrows

Nico Hischier x fem!reader

summary: reader comforting nico after losing the last game of the season

notes: y’all i kinda love this one 🤭. me being a cancer, i’m patiently waiting for the day i can nurture and comfort nico. that’s all. hope you enjoy !!

request: Nico coming home after that last game of the season and obviously he really needs some cheering up from his girl.

(also, i used google translate for any german present in this fic, so if its wrong, oopsies)

[2.9k]

part 2 (18+)

~

You already felt terrible you were having to miss the last game of the season, but as you watch the clock hit zero on the screen of the tv in front of you, signifying another Devil’s loss, you really wished you could be there. You think about how defeated your boys look, not being able to secure one last win for the fans this season. You watch as they skate to the middle of the ice, thanking their fans with rounded shoulders and sad smiles on their faces.

You curse your professors, hating that their review schedules for finals fell right in the middle of the end of the hockey season. You were supposed to be there tonight, supporting your friends and boyfriend; but a last-minute email from a professor informing you of a mandatory review session, starting only an hour before puck drop, threw your plans out the window.

You pick up your phone to send Nico a quick text, telling him you love him and are proud of him no matter what. You know he won’t see it right away, with post-game interviews and the added responsibility of fan-appreciation activities, he won’t be home for another hour or two at the earliest. You turn the tv off, not wanting to see the dejected looks from the team any longer.

You go to the kitchen and start to busy yourself by making one of Nico’s favorite treats, wanting to give him something to smile about when he gets home. You make plans in your head to either make something or order something to take to the rest of the team tomorrow during their locker cleanout. Once you’ve finished the task at hand and cleaned the kitchen, you make your way back into the living room, figuring Nico will be home any minute.

You were scrolling through Instagram, lost in the comments on the Devil’s most recent post about the fans, when you heard the front door to your apartment open. You sat up, turning your body to face the entry way, watching Nico walk towards you. He dropped his bag as he reached the couch, wordlessly flopping down beside you, throwing his body half on top of yours. He buried his face in your neck, inhaling the comforting scent of your perfume, squeezing your body against his own.

“I’m so proud of you,” is the first thing you said to him, taking the beanie off of his head so you can run your fingers through his hair.

“Nothin’ to be proud of, Schatz. We lost. Didn’t you see?” You feel him mumble against your skin.

“Hey, now. No more pity party, alright? You still went out there and gave it everything you had. I’ll always be proud of you, win or lose,” you scold, hating when he doesn’t give himself credit for all the work he puts in for this team.

“Just wish we could’ve won one last one. For the fans. For the guys. For Jack.”

“How is he, by the way? You heard anything?” You ask about the middle Hughes, knowing how upset Nico was he wouldn’t be finishing the season with the rest of the team.

“Yeah, talked to him before the game. Sore, but good. Already trying to weasel his way back onto the ice, but Ellen has him under house arrest.”

You chuckle, causing Nico’s body to shake with yours, knowing how stubborn Jack can be.

“I swear, if he doesn’t just let himself rest and heal I’ll fly out to Michigan myself to babysit him,” you tell your boyfriend, earning a laugh in response.

The conversation falls silent soon after, the two of you just soaking in each other’s company. You had adjusted your bodies so Nico was fully laying on you now, one hand continuing to play with his hair, the other lightly tracing shapes up and down his back. You worry he’s fallen asleep until you feel him lift his head, resting his chin on your chest so he can look up at your face.

“Wanna talk about it?” You ask him, looking down at his soft, sad eyes.

“Not much to say. We lost. The game, the season, the cup. We just didn’t perform this year. Got a lot to work on going forward,” he shrugs, not meeting your eyes.

“Okay, when I asked if you wanted to talk about it, I didn’t mean give me locker room answers. I meant, do you want to talk about why you’re being so hard on yourself? Why you’re acting like you won’t ever play hockey again? I know how hard this is on you all, especially after the season you guys had last year, but not every year is a stellar year, Neeks. Sometimes you have to have a bad season before you know how to have a great one,” you pushed him off of you slightly, both of you sitting up so you can face each other.

“I know we can’t be great every year, Y/N, but I at least expected us to do as well as we did last year. Coming off of such an explosive season, even though we didn’t win the cup, I figured everyone would show up ready to go, ready to win some games. And then then everyone started getting injured, and the longer the season went on, something shifted. It’s like they gave up before we even got started. It’s like they didn’t even want it anymore!” Nico cries out, letting himself get worked up.

You simply nod, encouraging him to keep going, knowing he needs to get it out of his system.

“I just-“ he hesitates, calming himself from his outburst mere seconds ago. “I worry about who’ll be coming back next season. I like this team. I love these guys like they’re my brothers, and I wanted better for so many of them. Nothing is ever guaranteed in the league, and I just want to keep playing with this team. Tonight could’ve been the last time I ever stepped onto that ice with a few of them.” He continues, emotion so raw on his face you almost want to cry for him.

There it was. The real reason he’s so upset. You knew this was more than just a loss, even if it was a hard one. He hardly ever comes home and just allows the two of you to sit in silence, always going over what they could’ve done better, and what they need to work on in the future. He’s upset about losing his team. Nico always gets so attached to his players, wanting to give every person he plays with the best guidance and outcomes he can. You figure its why they made him captain.

“Oh Neeks,” you start, reaching out to grab his hands. “These guys love you, you know that, right? They want to do their best for you, always. You think they don’t beat themselves up for letting you down?” you pause, wanting your words to truly reach him. “But…you know this is always a possibility. Trades get made, contracts expire. It’s just part of the world you signed up for. I can guarantee you, nearly every one of these guys would come back next year if it was up to them. They love this team just like you do,” you reiterate, having been told this by his teammates more times than you can count. “You gave them everything you could this season. I can assure you, not a single player left that arena tonight thinking of what you could’ve done differently, instead focusing on what they could’ve done differently.”

Nico sat for a second, absorbing your words. He takes his hands from yours to place his head in them, trying to collect his thoughts.

“Wenn es nur so einfach wäre,” you hear the foreign words muffled by the sound of his hands.

“Neeks, you know I’m learning, but I have no clue what you just said,” you chuckle slightly, not knowing if he’s even aware of the language switch.

“I said, if only it was that easy. I know you’re right, I do. But I just can’t make my brain hear the words the way my ears do,” he sighs.

You look at the man in front of you with sad eyes. You wish you could carry some of this burden for him, but you can’t. At the end of the day, you don’t know what it’s like to be the captain of a hockey team. You don’t know the full extent of the pressure not only his coaches place on him, but the team management, as well.

“My sweet, sweet boy,” you coo sadly, reaching out to cup his face, his own sad, brown eyes looking into yours. “Why don’t we just relax for the rest of the night, yeah? I was thinking about a bath earlier, if you wanted to join me? I’ll add some of that bubble bath you like. The one that smells like oranges and raspberries?” You question, deciding you’d talked enough hockey tonight.

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” he agrees, leaning into your touch, letting his eyes flutter shut.

You lean forward to give him a small peck on his forehead before standing and making your way to the bathroom.

You make sure the temperature of the water isn’t too hot, but still wanting it to be warm enough to soothe the ache not only in Nico’s muscles, but the ache in his chest, too. You decide to light a few candles, wanting to make the space as relaxing for him as possible. The bathroom door opens as you’re lighting the last candle, Nico having already discarded most of his clothing, standing before you only in his boxers.

He closes the door behind him, walking fully into the bathroom and leaning against the counter next to you. You set the candle away from anything that could potentially catch fire, and walk over to Nico. You wrap your arms around his torso, resting your cheek against his bare chest.

The two of you stand like that for a few moments, trying to transfer every ounce of love you have for the man through the contact. Eventually he pulls back, placing his hands on your shoulder before cocking an eyebrow, eyes raking down your body at your still fully clothed figure.

“Shouldn’t you have much less clothing on if we’re meant to be taking a bath together, Schatz?” he asks, the teasing in his voice a nice change from earlier.

“Are you trying to get me naked, cap?” you try to act shocked, but you can’t help the amused smile that breaks out on your face.

“Always, Mrs. cap,” he cheekily responds, using his teammates’ nickname for you.

You step back with a giggle, undressing yourself as Nico removes what little clothing he had on. After you walk over to turn the bathroom light off, the two of you step into the steaming tub, settling into a comfortable position. Your back rests against Nico’s chest, head resting on his shoulder, his clasped hands resting on your stomach. He begins tracing shapes on your stomach like you were on his back a few minutes ago, letting the warm water heat your skin and wash the stress of the day away.

“You know, even though I’m sad the season’s over, it does mean I get to spend more time with you now,” Nico breaks the silence, head tilted to rest against yours.

You hum in response, smiling at the thought of no more early morning alarms or late-night interruptions when he gets home from a roadie. You daydream about lazy mornings and breakfast in bed, something the two of you don’t get to indulge in nearly enough. You open your eyes, the thought reminding you of the treat you made Nico before his arrival home, nearly forgetting about the baked good sitting in your kitchen.

“Oh, I almost forgot, I baked you a little something before you got home!” you sat up a bit, water splashing around you.

“You did? What ever for?” Nico asks, eyes widening a bit at your sudden burst of enthusiasm.

“Just because. Knew you had a hard day, wanted to make sure you had something sweet to brighten it up a bit,” you shrugged.

“Not necessary. Not with the promise of getting to come home to you already.”

Your cheeks flush red, never really getting used to the sweet words Nico always throws your way.

“Well, I guess you don’t want any Luzerner….Luzerner…Leb…” You start, but can’t remember how to pronounce the Swiss dessert. You huff, crossing your arms over your chest, aggravated with yourself and your lack of fluency in Swiss-German.

“Luzerner Lebkuchen?” Nico finished for you.

“Yeah…that.” You roll your eyes at his perfect pronunciation.

“You really made it for me? From scratch?”

“Mhmm. Used your mom’s recipe. I hope it turned out. I didn’t want to cut into it to try it before you got home. Wanted to surprise you.”

Nico’s heart swelled at the confession, amazed that you’d go through all of that effort just for him. It wasn’t an easy dish to perfect, by no means. It took his mom years to get her gingerbread cake perfectly moist and flavorful. Regardless of how it tastes, he’ll savor it like it’s the last food on earth, simply because you made it for him.

“Well consider me surprised,” Nico murmurs, leaning in to kiss you.

You love moments like these. Lost in Nico, the two of you in your own little world. No hockey, no schoolwork, no responsibilities. Just two people hopelessly in love with each other, soaking in every ounce of affection the other has to offer.

Nico runs his hand down your back, causing your body to shiver at the contact. He pulls you closer, his other hand coming to tangle itself in your hair, tugging just enough to cause your mouth to open in a gasp, using the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues fight one another, his winning the struggle for dominance in the end, a groan working its way out of his throat. When he starts to move his hand lower down your back, grabbing the flesh of your ass in the process, you pull back, lips swollen and out of breath.

“Nope. Slow your roll, hot stuff. This was meant to be a relaxing bath, not a sex and suds party,” you push him back by the shoulders, earning a pout from the man across from you.

“But, a sex and suds party sounds pretty relaxing to me. No better way to unwind after a hard day than watching your face as I make you cu-“

“Nope! Not happening right now! Keep it up and it won’t be happening at all tonight,” You warn, turning back around to resume your earlier position, hands resting over his on your stomach to keep them from wandering.

Nico laughs, finding amusement in your commitment to the relaxing bath you promised him. He places a kiss to your temple, deciding to leave it alone for now, knowing he’ll revisit the subject later.

The two of you sit in the warm tub until the water runs cold, talking about anything that crosses your minds. From your upcoming finals to summer destinations you’d love to visit, the security of your bubble filled world allowing no room for hockey talk or stressful situations to infiltrate the delicate space.

After you start shivering, having put up with the cold water for as long as you could, Nico reaches forward to drain the tub, deciding that its time the two of you get out and dry off. You step out of the tub, reaching for the towels you had placed on the closed lid of the toilet seat, grabbing one for yourself before handing one to Nico. The two of you dry off your bodies, no sound other than the draining tub in the room. You look over to Nico, towel wrapped around his waist, and admire the man you love. You love him for so much more than his physique, but you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t the cherry on top of the already perfect soul before you.

Before he catches you staring and gets anymore ideas, you look away and wrap your own towel around your body, trying to shield yourself from the cool air on your damp skin.

“Thank you, Schatz,” Nico breaks the silence, causing you to look up at him, noticing he had closed the distance between the two of you, reaching out to place a piece of hair behind your ear, hand falling to your cheek.

“For what?”

“For always being here when I need someone. For always knowing exactly what I need, even before I do. For being you,” he states, referencing the many times you’ve been his sanity after days like today, always managing to take his mind off of his troubles and filling his head with thoughts of you, instead.

“Always,” you turn your head, placing a kiss on his palm before placing your cheek back against his palm, flashing Nico one of your loving smiles.

“Now, what about digging into that cake I made you? It’s not going to eat itself, you know?” you perk up, wanting to find out if you efforts paid off or not.

“Oh, I have a different kind of dessert I’d rather dig into, if you don’t mind,” Nico smirks, watching your eyes widen as he picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, laughing at your squeal as he heads towards the door of the bathroom, ready to savor his sweet treat.

[girlgenius1111]

you aren't a chore...

mapi x ingrid x reader

r tears her ACL. her girlfriends struggle to help her heal. angst + fluff. mapi didn't tear her meniscus in this because i said so <3

Tearing your ACL while on national duty was less than ideal; not just because it was a months long, intense injury that you knew would be hell to go through. It happened while you were in England, and your girlfriends were in Norway and Spain, respectively. You were dreading having call them with this news, news you knew would hurt them almost as much as it hurt you, but there was no avoiding it.

You were at the hospital, and the doctor had just left the room, confirming what you'd known since you'd gone down on the pitch a few hours ago. You were finally alone, and you couldn't put off calling Ingrid and Mapi any longer.

You started a group face time, wincing when you noticed in the camera how red your eyes were from crying. It only rang a couple times before both girls clicked on, almost simultaneously.

"What's happened?" Ingrid asked frantically, not needing to see more than your tearstained face to know that something was wrong. Mapi's excited smile dropped into a frown, too, and you took a deep breath.

"It's my ACL." You told them, swallowing the lump in your throat.

"No, amor," Mapi said in disbelief.

"It's completely torn. I need surgery." You continued, gripping the sheets under you in your hand, not wanting to cry.

"Are you sure?" Ingrid asked.

"Yeah, I just got the scans back and the doctor confirmed."

"How did it happen?" Mapi's questioned, voice shaking as she spoke.

"I planted my foot and twisted I guess, and it just. Really hurt. I heard it pop."

"Amor, I am so sorry. I'll come to you, I'll fly tomorrow," Mapi said, shuffling around, clearly looking for her computer to book a flight.

"No, no, it's okay. They're flying me back tomorrow to Spain tomorrow. They offered to do the surgery here but I wanted to be home. With you guys."

"Love," Ingrid began, and you could tell from the desperate look on her face what she was thinking.

"No, Ingrid. You'll stay with your team, and win for me. Mapi will take good care of me." You insisted. Ingrid's teeth bit at her lip, an anguished expression etched across her features.

"Love, I want to be with you," She said, and you could tell she was fighting back tears.

"I know, I want that too. It's only a few more days, though. The team needs you, Ingrid, you have to stay."

"Y/n's right. You have to stay with the team. She'll be a handful, but I can handle our girl." Mapi joked, face falling when you only cracked a small smile. She wanted to reach through the phone, to call up one of the English girls and tell them to give you a hug, anything to make you feel better. Glancing at Ingrid's face, the Spaniard could tell she felt the same.

"Can we do anything?" Ingrid asked, thinking that she would move heaven and earth to get rid of the sad frown on your face.

"No, I'm fine, I promise." You said, although your voice and expression told a completely different story.

"Cariño, neither of us expect you to be fine." Mapi said softly.

You forced a smile onto your lips, hoping it was convincing. "Really, I'm fine. I have to go though, they're about to discharge me. I love you guys." You hung up, rolling onto your good side, muffling your sobs in the pillow.

Ingrid and Mapi hung up with each other soon after, both agreeing that they needed to keep a close eye on you. You'd never handled injuries well, but the state you were in on the phone was worse than they'd ever seen. This was a worse injury than you'd ever had, so it made sense, but they were still incredibly worried.

-----

Mapi had wanted to pick you up from the airport, but Barca had insisted on you going to meet with the surgeon right away, sending a car to grab you and take you there. Mapi promised to meet you at the hospital for your consultation, and arrived there in the parking lot a full 10 minutes before you did. She wanted to prepare herself for whatever you were feeling. Honestly, she had no idea how to best help you; neither her nor Ingrid had ever had an injury of this magnitude, they couldn't know what you were feeling. The defender had never felt more helpless in her life, watching you slowly get out of the car, grabbing your crutches, and making your way towards the door, where she waited.

"Mi amor," she said as you neared her, moving forward to carefully wrap you in a hug. You were stiff in her arms, jaw set stiffly, as you murmured a greeting into your ear. It became clear to your girlfriend that you had completely shut down, not allowing yourself to feel the intense emotions she knew must be tugging at you. Not wanting to challenge that unhealthy coping mechanism at the hospital, she simply kissed your cheek lightly, before leading you into the building.

You were quieter than Mapi thought you'd ever been in your life as you made your way into the surgeon's office, face pinched in pain as you settled into a chair next to her, moving your crutches to rest next to you with a disdainful look at them.

You waited for the surgeon, turning to the team doctor that had accompanied you and speaking, voice raspy from lack of use.

"When do you think they'll do the surgery?"

"Depends. Some doctors like to do it sooner rather than later, to preserve muscle strength, while others think the more time taken to reduce swelling, the better. This guy did Alexia's, and he only had her wait a week."

You nodded absentmindedly, reaching one hand over to grip onto Mapi's. She squeezed your hand comfortingly, pulling out her phone to update Ingrid.

Your meeting with the surgeon may as well have been 2 seconds, for all the information you absorbed. Once he told you that he'd operate in a week, you couldn't force yourself to focus on everything he said about the recovery process. If you didn't take this one step at a time, you were sure that you would fail. Mapi could tell you weren't all there, and she allowed you the time to process on the way home, not bothering to speak to you until she asked if you wanted to call Ingrid and update her.

"Can you just tell her?"

"Of course, amor. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Thanks Maps."

If this was a hint to how you'd be for the next week, Mapi felt like she'd almost rather have torn her own ACL. She could tell that you were hurting, not just physically, but deep within you. You wouldn't speak about it though, repeating the words "I'm fine" until they no longer sounded like words. You weren't overly upset, nor were you overly happy. Instead, Mapi got used to the version of you that was quiet, giving her only small smiles and chuckles when she tried to joke around, instead of the full laughs that had been part of the reason she'd fallen in love with you.

As the days passed, and your surgery grew closer, Mapi noticed you become more irritable, frustrated more easily. She talked to Ingrid often about it, completely at a loss for how to help you, as nothing she was doing seemed to work. Her and Ingrid agreed that this period of waiting was especially hard for you; you couldn't do any rehab work, nothing at all could be done until after the surgery. The hoped that being able to focus your mind and body on recovering would bring you back to yourself.

Ingrid, for her part, made up her mind to leave the national team and come home to you at least 10 different times, but you and Mapi always talked her out of it. She was due home the day of your surgery, and you both were adamant that this injury not affect Ingrid's playing time with the team. Ingrid was packing one day, after a particularly rough night where Mapi confided that she wasn't sure you'd slept at all, and Mapi was clearly failing at convincing her to stay. You'd grabbed the phone from Mapi's hand, expressing the most emotion that they'd seen from you since your injury.

"Ingrid, please don't do this for me. I love you, and I miss you, but I want you to stay. Coming home now will only make me feel guilty. Besides, watching you play is one of the only things I'm looking forward to right now."

Mapi practically froze when you spoke, waiting to hear Ingrid's response.

"Okay, elskling. If that's what you want." Ingrid sighed, dropping her clothes back into her drawer. She wasn't happy about it, but she trusted that if you really did need her, you'd ask for her.

"Mapi is taking good care of me, anyway. Not as good of a job as you could, but it'll do." You joked, shooting Mapi a smirk. She feigned being supremely insulted, but really, she was just happy to see you smile again, even if it was at her own expense.

"Alright, you can shower by yourself tonight." She teased, and you glared at her.

"I might as well be showering by myself, for all the help you are."

"I shaved your legs for you yesterday!" Mapi gasped.

"That's not the kind of help I'm talking about."

"If I had sex with you while you were injured, in the shower, while Ingrid was in another country, I think she'd kill me." Mapi defended.

"I absolutely would. You'll just have to be patient and wait for me. And till after your surgery. Think of it as a fun challenge." Ingrid smiled, enjoying the glimpse of the you she was used to seeing, not the empty version that you'd been for the past few days.

"What is fun about that, Ingrid, be serious."

"What's fun is that we're all waiting, and we will all have a very good time together once I'm back, and it's safe for you. I promise, you can be a pillow princess the way you like, and Mapi and I will do whatever you want." Ingrid said sweetly, and you tried to ignore the way you felt suddenly warm at her words.

You gave a dramatic sigh. "Whatever I want?"

"Whatever you want." Both girls promised together. Mapi saw the most excitement she'd seen in you all week, and couldn't help but leaning in and leaving a gentle kiss on your temple. You softened at her loving action, growing slightly more serious.

"I'm sorry I've been so awful this past week. I know I haven't been very much fun to be around."

"You have every right to be grumpy, mi amor. You're doing your best, we don't expect any more than that." Mapi promised.

"I can't imagine what you're feeling, elskling. You can act any way you feel like acting." Ingrid assured you. "It'll get easier post surgery, yeah?"

You nodded like you agreed, but you weren't exactly sure about that. You hoped Ingrid was right, you really did. Mapi caught your reluctance.

"No matter what, we've got you, mi amor." She said, tilting your chin to look into your eyes as she spoke.

"Always, kjære." Ingrid echoed, and this time, you felt more confident when you nodded. You weren't sure that you trusted your body anymore, not when it had betrayed you so grievously. You did, however, trust your girls with everything. Everything.

-----

Mapi hated being in hospitals. When she had gone to your initial appointment with you, it was just the surgeons office you were visiting, which was tolerable. But a hospital, with patients and sick people, and doctors and nurses in scrubs, she hated. She always had, and the night before your surgery, you could tell she was getting nervous. You were nervous too, but magically, your stress evaporated when you realized that Mapi was anxious, and all you cared about was making her feel better.

Ingrid was set to touch down in Barcelona after you went back, and she would probably arrive at the hospital right as you were coming out of recovery, which wouldn't be very much help to your other girlfriend who wouldn't hear a word about leaving the hospital while you were in surgery.

You were debating on making Mapi talk about it, when she started bouncing her knee rapidly, and picking at her cuticles; 2 things she only did when she was really nervous. You knew if she continued like this, she'd get no sleep. More than that, she looked miserable, although she tried to hide it, and you hated seeing her upset.

"María," you called softly, getting her attention. She turned to you, and you watched her literally change her face from one of slight panic, to one of reassuring confidence. If you didn't know her so well, you would have bought the second face with no questions asked.

"Come here," you said, gesturing for her to move closer. She must have thought you were seeking comfort, because otherwise there was no way she would have accepted your comfort, and she moved closer, resting her head on your shoulder.

"Are you nervous?" She asked.

"A bit. You seem really anxious though, baby. Are you okay?" At your question, she sat up, leaning away from you.

"I am fine, amor. Nothing to worry about." She said. "I am going to go shower, and then I'll help you to bed, alright?"

"Okay." You agreed, letting it go for now. She smiled at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead, before leaving the room.

You sighed once she was out of earshot. You'd let Ingrid know that Mapi seemed more anxious than normal, but you didn't want to overly stress out the Norwegian, not when you knew she was already kind of freaking out at the thought that you were having surgery before she arrived home. You pulled your phone out, hitting the contact of the one person you knew Mapi trusted almost as much as she trusted you and Ingrid.

"Alexia? I need your help with something."

-----

Worrying about Mapi turned out to be a wonderful distraction for you, as you both woke early and headed to the hospital. You were nervous, but your attention was on your girlfriend, who had a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel with one hand, and yours wrapped tight in the other.

"Maps?"

"Sí?" She said, looking at you out of the corner of her eye, her worry evident in her slightly shaky voice.

"Ale is going to meet us at the hospital."

Mapi blinked. "That is nice of her to come for you." She said, although she was slightly confused. You hadn't wanted to see anyone recently, and although you'd been talking to Alexia, as someone who had, and was currently, having issues with her knee, Mapi was surprised that you'd agreed to her being at the hospital, and seeing you in such a vulnerable state.

"She's not coming for me, she's coming for you. I don't want you sitting alone around the hospital for hours, not when you're already nervous." You stated plainly, never having planned on hiding the real reason Alexia was invited.

"Amor, you should not be worrying about me," Mapi complained, although her grip slackened slightly on the wheel.

"Well, I am. So is Ingrid. And with Alexia there, we won't worry as much. Really, you'll be doing both of us a favor."

"You will be unconscious, but worrying about me?" Mapi rolled her eyes.

"I always dream of you, baby. Even when I'm under general." You winked at her.

Mapi snorted, but you were delighted to see a faint blush on her cheeks. She was quiet for a moment.

"Thank you. I appreciate it." She spoke softly, and you could just barely hear her over the sound of the engine.

You pull her hand over, still laced with yours, kissing the back of it. She smiled at you, eyes crinkling the way they did when she smiled really genuinely. You returned the smile, feeling incredibly glad that you weren't really freaking out.

-----

You sat in the hospital bed, all dressed in the stupid gown, feeling significantly less calm and collected. Mapi had settled after learning that Alexia would be around, and her decrease in stress had allowed you to focus back on your own.

You were visibly nervous, hands shaking, teeth chattering, holding rather tightly to Mapi's hand. They put the IV in, and you noticed Alexia mumble something to one of the nurses, who took one look at you, nodded, and disappeared from the room.

"What did you tell her?" You wondered.

"Nothing, just a question." Alexia replied calmly, but the her eyes flicked away from your eyes; Alexia could lie, but she couldn't meet your eyes while doing it. The nurse returned before you could press your captain.

"Something to help you relax, alright?" The nurse said with a kind smile, injecting something into the IV. You didn't know what it was, but the effect was almost instantaneous. Your neck went limp, and your head dropped onto the pillow. Your body drained of tension, and you loosened your painfully tight grip on your girlfriends hand.

"I feel better," you said, fighting back a yawn. The nurse left the room, telling you that they would be ready to take you back in a couple minutes. Mapi was looking at you, amused by the sudden relaxed version of you in front of her.

"Alexia, you really are a great blonde." You said, squinting at her.

"Thank you chica," she said with a laugh. "They gave you the good stuff, huh?

You turned to look at Mapi, raising a clumsy hand to boop her nose. "You're so pretty. Like so, so, pretty."

"They really did give you the good stuff," Mapi laughed. You returned her grin, eyes beginning to flutter shut. You were lightly snuffling against the oxygen tubes not seconds later, out cold, still clinging to your girlfriend's hand.

"What did you tell them to give her?" Mapi asked, turning her attention to her best friend.

"I just asked if they could start her early on the stuff to relax her. My mom had them do it for me when I had my surgery, because she thought I was going to break my sister's hand, I was holding it so tight." Alexia commented.

The nurse entered again, followed by several others, and Mapi knew it was time. She leaned down, placing a light kiss on your cheek.

"Good luck, mi amor. I love you." She whispered the words into your ear, squeezing your hand once more, before allowing them to roll your bed away. She watched as they wheeled you down the hall, feeling a flutter of worry in her chest. They better be careful with you.

Alexia stood next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"She'll be fine, amiga." Alexia reassured, and Mapi nodded, trying to convince herself.

"Thank you for being here. I really appreciate it." Mapi mumbled.

"Of course." Alexia replied. "You better text Ingrid and tell her y/n went back. You know she bought plane wifi, and if you don't update her, I wouldn't want to be you when she arrives later."

-----

Ingrid hated plane wifi, potentially more than she'd ever hated anything in her entire life. All she wanted was to hear that you'd gone back for surgery okay, and also that Mapi was alright, but the wifi was hardly functioning, and Ingrid felt like chucking her phone across the plane. Her texts began to load, finally, as the plane was landing. Perfect timing. She had a text from Mapi, and a text from Alexia.

"They just took her back. She was nervous but they gave her something and she was... no longer nervous. Waiting with Ale now. Fly safe, princesa. Te amo."

"Mapi's alright. Definitely anxious but I'm distracting her by asking her to tell me what her favorite goal she's ever scored is. She's been talking for 20 minutes."

Ingrid relaxed, even cracking a smile at Alexia's text. Her and Mapi's relationship was so entertaining to watch. They spent most of their time together giggling, making fun of each other, but if one of them needed the other, she would be there. No matter what.

Ingrid made her way off the plane, resisting the urge to shove everyone out of her way. She made record time getting to baggage claim, and was just pulling out her phone to call and uber when she felt someone land squarely on her back.

"La princesa! Your taxi service has arrived!" Ingrid tried to be annoyed, she really did, but when Pina climbed off her back, and Ingrid turned around to find her and Patri smiling goofily at her, she couldn't manage it.

-----

Ingrid arrived at the hospital, leaving her bag with Pina and Patri, who had promised to get it home for her, before heading inside. She'd gotten a text from Mapi a couple of minutes ago, one that had worried her.

"Taking longer than they expected. Not sure why. We're in room 402 when you get here."

Ingrid hauled ass to room 402, her stiff legs from playing a full 90 the day before, and then getting on a plane making it rather difficult. She made it at the same time, apparently, as the surgeon, and she felt slightly nauseous as she walked into the room. There were plenty of reasons why a surgery would take longer, but Ingrid could not, for the life of her, think of one that wasn't negative.

She walked right into the room, just before the doctor, quickly hugging Alexia before pulling Mapi into her side. They all looked at the doctor expectantly. He looked frazzled, which didn't make anyone feel better, and he scrolled through your chart for what felt like minutes before finally speaking.

"The surgery was successful, and y/n is in recovery. There was, however, a slight, unforeseen complication."

-----

You woke up slowly, and you could hear before you could open your eyes. You weren't sure where you were, or what was happening. You heard rhythmic beeping, and it sped up as you grew more aware. You shifted lightly in the bed, unable to get your eyes to open. The beeping sped up faster, but someone laid a hand on your cheek, and a soft voice filled your ears.

"You're alright, cariño, we're here with you." You settled instantly when you heard Mapi speak, the beeping that you now realized was measuring your heart rate slowing down again. It took a few more minutes before you got your eyes to open, and, by that point, you remembered where you were, and why you were there.

It was bright when you looked around. Mapi was in a chair next to you, hand holding yours. You looked around, realizing Ingrid was supposed to be there, as was Alexia. Even just waking up from surgery, you wanted to see your girlfriend, more than anything.

"Ingrid?" You croaked out, directing the question to Mapi. She smiled when she heard your voice, and helped you take a few sips of the water on the table in front of you.

"She's just talking to the doctor, she'll be back in a bit," Mapi informed you. There was something off, though, a tightness to her smile that shouldn't be there. It could have been her general discontent being in the hospital, but something in your gut told you that it wasn't that.

"What's wrong?" You asked, forcing your eyes back open when the slid shut again.

"Nothing," Mapi lied, looking at the door almost pleadingly.

"María, what is going on," you said. Before she could lie again, Ingrid and Alexia appeared in the doorway, the doctor behind them. Ingrid smiled softly when she saw you awake, moving forward to sit next to the bed, and kiss your temple. You returned her smile, but focused back on the doctor. He looked... not troubled, but like he was about to deliver bad news.

"What went wrong?" You asked him, feeling suddenly much more awake.

He smiled sympathetically. "Nothing went wrong, the surgery was successful. There was more damage to your surrounding muscles than we expected, so we had to go to the hamstring instead of the patellar tendon for replacement tissue. It means a slightly harder recovery, as you also need to strengthen the area where the graft came from."

You were quiet for a moment. You'd thought so hard about the surgery, considered every aspect, but didn't think that this was a possibility. You weren't quite sure what to think.

"How much longer will recovery be?" You asked.

"The time shouldn't be affected, but you'll be in more pain at the beginning." He explained. You let out a sigh of relief. You could handle more pain, what you couldn't handle was being off the pitch any longer than you already were going to have to be. The doctor informed you that you were free to go once you were more awake, confirming that you'd made a follow up appointment to remove the sutures, before leaving the room.

You looked down then, seeing your leg wrapped up in heavy white gauze, encased in a black brace. Your knee had been swollen before, yes, but it hadn't really looked like anything was wrong with it. Now, though, it was glaringly obvious, a stark reminder of the long months ahead.

"Hey, what are you thinking?" Ingrid asked, tearing you from your thoughts. It took you a minute to gather your thoughts, but when you did, you addressed everyone in the room, trying to put their obvious nerves at ease.

"It's fine. As long as I can get back to playing in the same amount of time, I don't care what they use. I can deal with the pain." You smiled at your girlfriends, and at Alexia. They all returned the gesture, glad to see that you weren't too upset.

-----

You were feeling less confident the next day. The initial drugs wore off, leaving you in considerably more pain than before. Your knee felt hot and swollen, and it throbbed painfully anytime you got up. You were in the extra bedroom, having insisted that Ingrid and Mapi sleep in your bedroom together, so no one would worry about accidentally bumping you. They were reluctant, and Mapi checked on you at least 10 times the first night.

Ingrid had finally managed to get a enough sleep, though, after struggling the whole time she was gone. She was exhausted, and slept for 14 hours. When she woke up, she was furious that you and Mapi hadn't woken her, seeing as though both of you had been up for hours. You, because your knee felt like it had been run over by a snow plow, and Mapi, also because your knee felt like it had been run over by a snow plow. She hated seeing you in pain, and she had hovered over you all morning.

Ingrid shuffled into the extra room a few minutes after finally waking up, curling up next to you in the bed.

"How are you?" She mumbled, looking up at you, face still scrunched with sleep. You smiled down at her, running your finger over the sleep lines etched into her skin.

"Did you sleep well?" You asked, ignoring her question. She yawned, snuggling into your good leg, laying her head on your thigh.

"Slept good. Would have slept better with you there, though." She said, voice muffled against your skin. "You didn't answer my question."

"It hurts." You said simply. You didn't want to talk about it, so you changed the subject. "I missed you." You said. You'd been so out of it yesterday, you didn't really feel like you had enjoyed having Ingrid back home.

"I missed you too, elskling. I'm sorry I wasn't home sooner."

"Don't be. You were where you needed to be. You're home now, that's all that matters." Ingrid smiled at you, eyes fluttering shut again. Sleepy Ingrid was your favorite, and you began to run your fingers through her thick hair, avoiding the tangles. She hummed with pleasure, relaxing further into you.

"How are you feeling, amor?" Mapi asked from the doorway, looking anxiously at you. The smile fell from your lips. Was this what the next 9 months would be like? Every nice moment interrupted by your stupid injury?

"I'm fine, Mapi." You said, voice slightly harsher than it needed to be.

-----

This began a new pattern to your behavior. When you were distracted, you were fine, happy to be with your girls. When you weren't distracted, though, you were miserable. In pain, mostly helpless, and in a foul mood. It only worsened when you girlfriend's asked you questions about how you were feeling; you knew you were being ridiculous, but you felt like the only think you guys talked about was your knee.

Your newfound grumpiness did not, however, mean that you were expressing your emotions. On the contrary, they had never been more inaccessible. Your anger never faltered into sadness; frustration, sure, but neither of your girls could get you to acknowledge that you were upset.

As the weeks passed, and the recovery felt like it was going too slow, you grew more resistant to the help your girlfriend's were anxious to provide. Things were tense around the house, your girlfriends felt like they were walking on eggshells around you, waiting for your frosty exterior to crack, which it eventually did.

-----

You were in the Barcelona gym, 3 weeks post op. You were doing simple exercises, walking from one end of the room to the other, bending and flexing your knee, raising up on your toes. Things that should be easy, but weren't any longer. Alexia was on the other side of the gym, doing a much more complicated exercise. Ingrid and Mapi were out on the pitch, presumably. There was just one physio with you guys today, watching carefully as you did the world's lamest and smallest squats, barely bending your knee, leaning against a table. There was soft music playing throughout the gym, and it was rather peaceful.

That is, until Alexia dropped the barbell she was lifting with a loud clatter. You startled at the sound, twisting without thinking to look towards the noise. As soon as you did, you realized your bad leg was still planted when you turned. It didn't turn much, but it was enough for your knee to erupt in pain.

"Fuck!" You shouted, and Alexia was at your side in a second, as was the physio. "Fuck, something's wrong, jesus," you said, leaning back on the table and taking the weight off your knee.

"Alright, relax, let me look," the physio said, guiding you to lay back on the table. Alexia moved to stand by your head, laying a hand on your shoulder.

"Something is wrong," you said again, even though the pain was rapidly fading. The physio looked at your knee, poking and prodding at it gently, before looking at you.

"How much does it hurt?" He asked calmly.

Tears were stinging your eyes, and your voice trembled as you responded. "Not-not much, it's fading."

"No pain?" He asked again after a minute, applying pressure to each side of your knee.

"No, not anymore," you choked out.

"I don't think anything is wrong. If it was, the pain wouldn't be fading. The incisions look fine. You're okay, you just tweaked it."

"No, no, no. Something is wrong, it doesn't feel right, Ale it doesn't feel right." You cried, turning your attention to Alexia over you, her hand moving up and down your arm. You were fully panicking now, tears falling freely down your face, hands gripping at your shirt as if to tether you to the present. Alexia exchanged a look with the physio.

"Chica, you're okay, this is normal, nothing is wrong." She assured you, but you just shook your head frantically in response.

"No, I messed something up," you gasp. You sat up suddenly, almost smacking your head into Alexia's face. "I need scans, I need to do something," you say, moving to get off the table. Your knee didn't hurt anymore, but you couldn't shake the feeling that you had messed something up, horribly so. Alexia stopped you, resting her hands on your shoulders, holding you down on the table.

"Y/n, you need to calm down. You haven't messed anything up, everything is okay." She soothed. It clearly wasn't working to calm you, so she turned to the physio. "Get Mapi and Ingrid," she murmured before turning her attention back to you.

"Come on, amiga, you need to calm down," Alexia said. You could only shake your head, broken sobs falling past your lips. You hid your face in your hands, completely disconnecting from the world around you. Your ears were ringing, the only thing you could hear was blood pumping in your ears. You didn't know how much time had passed before different set of hands were cradling your face, urging you to look up. You do, and find the worried faces of your girlfriends in front of you. Ingrid has her hands on your face, and Mapi has taken one of your hands in hers, squeezing gently.

"Somethings... wr-wrong, help," you get out, looking between them frantically.

"No kjære, it's okay, nothing is wrong." Ingrid promised. For some reason, you believed her when you hadn't believed the others.

"Are you- are you sure?" You asked.

"Yes, cariño, the physio said you just tweaked it. You are completely fine." Mapi said softly.

"I didn't mess it up?"

"No, darling, you didn't mess anything up."

You nodded jerkily, leaning forward to rest your head on Ingrid's sternum, tugging on Mapi's hand until she moves closer.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry about the barbell, it slipped out of my hands," Alexia begins from the other side of the table, and you can hear the guilt in her voice.

"It's okay, Ale, it's not your fault." You mumbled into Ingrid's chest, reaching a hand out to the side. Alexia grabs it sighing in relief, squeezing once, before pulling away, giving you and your girlfriends some privacy. You stayed hidden away, leaning against Ingrid. You're clearly still emotional, but you don't seem interested in speaking, or moving again. It's quiet for a few moments, before you finally pulling away, wiping at your eyes.

"Can we go home?" You asked.

"Yeah, let's go home." Mapi agreed easily. You stood, taking a tentative step. Your face burns with embarrassment when you don't feel anything out of the ordinary in your knee. You'd freaked out for nothing. Absolutely nothing.

-----

You'd been sitting in silence on the couch since you'd arrived home 20 minutes ago, staring blankly at the dark TV. Your knee was propped up in Ingrid's lap, an icepack wrapped snuggly around the swollen appendage. Mapi was on your other side, resisting the urge to take you by the shoulders, shake you, and beg you to talk to them. Her and Ingrid had agreed to let you come to them, though. There was no use pushing you. Their patience is finally rewarded.

"Sorry I freaked out and you both had to leave training early." You said, raw voice startling your girlfriend's out of their thoughts.

"Don't be so-"

"-Please don't tell me not to be sorry. I've been such a burden for weeks, and you keep telling me not to be sorry about it. I am sorry about it, and I don't understand why you aren't annoyed with me." You cut in, spitting the words with an intensity neither of women was expecting.

"You are not a burden, y/n," Ingrid said, hurt bleeding into her tone.

"Yes I am," you dismiss. "You've had to do everything for me these past few weeks, and all I've done is act like the world has ended. It's just a knee injury, I don't know why I'm acting like this."

"Amor, it is okay if you feel like the world has ended. This is a big thing, and you are allowed to feel things. You don't have to push everything down, it's not healthy."

You shifted uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact. "You already have to take care of me. You shouldn't have to deal with the mess inside my head too."

"You could not be burden, darling, not to us. We don't mind taking care of you, not at all. And we want to know what's going on inside your head. It's been driving us crazy, not knowing what you're feeling. We want to know, y/n, we want to know it all." Ingrid's voice has a clear undertone of determination in it.

"You guys are so busy," you argue weakly. They were; the past weeks juggling you and the team had been draining. It was obvious to you. They hadn't realized how much you'd noticed it.

"We are never too busy for you, amor, and I'm so sorry if we've made you feel like we are." Mapi said gently. "You are our priority."

You finally looked up at them, eyes glistening with unshed tears. "It's just been hard. You guys get to go play, and I stay here, or go to the gym. And you spend all this time together at training. All the time you spend with me is you guys making sure my knee is okay."

Both of your girlfriend's faces are ones of horror at your confession. They hadn't realized you'd been feeling like this, not at all.

Mapi places a hard kiss on your temple, resting her chin on your head. "If I could switch places with you, cariño, I would. Watching you go through this, be in so much pain, has been killing me. I want to fix it, but I can't. All I can do is try to help, try to make you feel better. I didn't mean to make you feel like you were just a task for us, just a chore to be taken care of. You are our girl, nuestra niña bonita, and we love you, more than anything."

There are silent tears falling from your eyes when Mapi is done talking. She's said everything you've needed to hear this whole time, but were too nervous, too worried about being a burden to them to ask for their reassurance. Ingrid's hand lifts, carefully wiping a tear off your cheek, prompting you to look at her.

"No more of this, okay? When you need us, whether it's attention, or our help with something, or just a distraction, you tell us. You tell us, and we'll do it, whatever you need. You're not alone in this, darling. We're here for anything, really. Just like you would be for us if the roles were reversed."

You feel slightly silly when she reminds you of that. Obviously, you would do everything within your power to help one of your girlfriend's if they were going through this. Why you expected them to not really want to do the same was beyond you.

"Okay." You murmur, eyes on Ingrid as she scoots closer, pressing into your other side. You've been reminded of something, something Ingrid had promised you over the phone. Whatever you want, she'd said. You knew what you wanted, and you knew you needed to ask for it.

"Could I ask for something now?" You wonder quietly, and you hear Mapi laugh above you, clearly anticipating what you're about to ask for. Ingrid has the decency to pretend she doesn't know.

"What would that be?" She asks, placing her hand on your upper thigh.

"You promised me something about you and Mapi doing whatever I wanted?" You grin.

"Hmm, do you think you're ready for that, elskling?"

"God, yes. I'm ready, I promise." Your voice is already needy, already desperate.

"Mapi, go get things ready." Ingrid instructed, and you feel Mapi rise from next to you, and walk away into the bedroom.

"How do you know what to get ready if I haven't said what I want?" You questioned, looking up into the Norwegian's dark eyes.

Ingrid leaned forward, pressing light kisses in a trail up your jaw, stopping just by your ear. "I know what you want better than you do, pretty girl. I thought you knew that by now."

You shivered with excitement. "Don't be too careful with me, okay?"

"We'll be as careful as we need to be," Ingrid promised. Ingrid's lips meet yours, pressing harder than she has in weeks. It's the most she's touched you since your surgery, really, and you wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her closer. The wait will have been worth it, you're sure of that.

-----

[zegrasdrysdale]

wyatt johnston x hughes sister

she brings wyatt home with her to the lake house for the summer and her brothers really getting to see the two’s relationship

[ michigan summer ] w. johnston

part of the “falling for a hughes” au

paring : Wyatt Johnston x hughes!sister

summary : once Dallas gets eliminated from the playoffs, Lizzy brings Wyatt up to Michigan to spend the summer with her at the lake house with Quinn, Jack, Luke, and some friends

warning(s) : making out, slightly nsfw (nothing too bad), implied sex

author’s note : finally got healthy enough to actually sit down and write something. this isn’t my best work but i didn’t wanna leave y’all hanging. there is a lil something that i added in memory of johnny gaudreau in this fic bc it felt like i needed to do a lil something for him. fly high johnny & matthew gaudreau 🤍 (this is not gonna be the only fic in this universe that takes place at the lake house btw)

au masterlist

༺═──────────────═༻

She didn't mind staying in Dallas while the Stars were playing in the playoffs. The Pavelski's opened their house to her so she didn't have to stay in a hotel until either they got eliminated or won the whole thing. It could have been two weeks or it could have been two months. Lizzy is forever grateful for The Pavelski family and everything they've done for her and Wyatt, especially knowing that Joe is most likely retiring now that the season is over.

Now though? She's excited to go to Michigan like she does every summer. This summer is a bit different in that she gets to bring her boyfriend with her. Spending time with her brothers and some of their friends is her favorite thing to do in the offseason.

They depart Dallas about three days after Wyatt cleans out his locker and does his exit interview. There's an extensive and very emotional goodbye between Wyatt and Joe at the airport. There isn't a dry eye between her and Sarah as they watch their boys say goodbye. Lizzy thanks Sarah for the both of them before she and Wyatt make their way through security to get on their plane.

The plane to Michigan is filled with naps and laughing with Wyatt until it lands in Ann Arbor. Quinn waits for them with a car outside the airport. Jack sits in the passenger seat. Lizzy and Wyatt hop in the back once their things are loaded in the trunk.

"What's up, Sling Boy?" Lizzy asks as she slides in behind Jack. "How is your shoulder? Ready to get back on the ice?"

Jack turns and looks at her. "It's healing fine," he tells her. "You know I would get on the ice tomorrow if I could, but doc says I'm not allowed to skate until I'm cleared."

She smiles and scoots as close as she can to Wyatt. Quinn glances at the two of them in the rearview mirror and says, "No funny business in my backseat. You two hear me?"

"Aye, aye captain," Lizzy replies with a salute. She rests her head on Wyatt's shoulder and closes her eyes.

Quinn drives off with the windows down and she feels the Michigan air on her face. She feels like she’s finally home after a long season by being surrounded by all the people she loves in the place she loves.

The drive is about a half an hour long. Luke waits for the group on the back deck along with Seamus Casey, Ethan Edwards, and Mark Estapa. He greets his little sister with a hug. Lizzy says hi to his friends as she grabs her things from the car.

They walk into the house and Luke body blocks the stairs as he looks between his sister and Wyatt. “I want you to know that the walls are very thin and I am the room right next door to you two,” he tells them, his eyes more on Wyatt than her. “I don’t wanna be woken up at three in the morning because of the two of you. Got it?”

Lizzy’s cheeks get hot like all the blood from her body shoots to her face. “Luke, please,” she pleads. “This is so embarrassing.”

“You didn’t hear the conversation Pavs had with me after you went home after I introduced you to the team as my girlfriend,” Wyatt tells her. “That was embarrassing. This is just your big brother looking out for his sanity.”

Luke moves to the side. “It’s not a warning,” he says. “It was just a heads up that the walls are thin. I’ll sit you down later with Jack and Quinn to have The Talk.”

“Oh my God,” she gasps as she runs up the stairs. Wyatt laughs behind her as she runs into her usual bedroom. The door shuts when Wyatt is inside.

She opens the window to let the cool air into the room. It's a crisp 75 degrees with a breeze on the lake right now, which is a lot cooler than the weather she was faced with in Dallas the last few weeks. She sits on the bed and watches Wyatt look around her room.

The room is slightly bigger than her brother's rooms. Quinn has a room on the first floor, Jack and Luke share a room next door to her, and her parents' room is down the hallway. There are two guest bedrooms that Ethan, Seamus, and Mark are splitting.

She's updated her room over the last few years so it doesn't look like a childhood bedroom and has a more "adult" look, but she couldn't bring herself to pull down the One Direction posters that have been on her walls for ten years. The walls are still light pink from when she was 12 and she asked her father to paint them because she loved the color pink.

As she grabs her suitcase to unpack her things, Wyatt laughs. "Cute room," he comments. "Didn't know you were such a fan of pink."

"I was twelve, you asshole," she laughs. "I was obsessed with Barbie too. My whole room was pink at one point. Sheets, blankets, lamp. I had pink fairy lights around the mirror. All I wore was pink. It was really bad.”

Wyatt comes up from behind her and drapes his arms around her waist. “I would’ve loved to see that,” he tells her. She rolls her eyes with a smile on her lips while she continues to unpack her things.

“You would’ve thought I was a nerd or something if you knew me back then,” Lizzy explains. “We wouldn’t have been friends, Wyatt.”

“I like to think we would’ve been friends, or more, no matter how old we were or in any universe,” Wyatt mumbles next to her ear. Lizzy turns her head and looks up at her boyfriend. “I don’t think anything would stop me from knowing you.”

She lays out a shirt on top of the already forming pike and turns in Wyatt’s arms. He leaves his arms where they are as she drapes her arms around his neck. “Sap,” she teases.

“Duh.”

The pair share a laugh before Lizzy pulls him down to her level as an urge to be close to him suddenly overwhelms her. She gently claims his lips in a kiss that starts soft. It doesn’t take very long for the soft, gentle kiss into a heated, needy kiss.

Hands begin to roam over and under clothes as the kiss grows hotter. Wyatt pushes her onto her back on the mattress and he follows her as he climbs over her. She pushes his hair out of his eyes and decides that he’s not allowed to get anything more than a trim because she’s grown used to his longer playoff hair. She was already upset when he shaved.

Lizzy wraps his legs around his waist to keep him where he is as Wyatt’s lips leave hers to attach to her jaw. She bites her lip to keep herself from making any kind of noise. “Wyatt,” she sighs. “Gotta unpack.”

“This is more fun,” he tells her, lips brushing the sensitive skin on her jaw under her ear. Wyatt pulls back and meets her eyes. “Please? I spent all my time after we lost moping or packing my things or at the arena to clean out my gear. I rarely got to see you.”

He isn’t wrong. The first day after they lost, he moped in his room despite her, Joe, and Sarah trying to get him to come out. The second day he packed up his room. The third day he did his exit interview and was at the arena to clear out his gear. Then it was back to packing and looking for a new place to rent for next season with Logan. She rarely did get to see him.

That’s the only reason she says, “One round. Quick before my brothers come looking for us.”

“Deal.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

A half an hour later, they can barely keep their hands off each other while they finish unpacking. Lizzy gives him half of the closet and one drawer for his things. She lets him take as much of the bathroom counter space as he needs since he doesn’t need much, and he does what he can with the space that’s left in the shower for his supplies.

It takes them an hour longer to unpack than it normally would because they get so caught up in each other. There was a five or ten minute interval where they stood in her bathroom making out. Lizzy called it a “much needed break” to justify it.

The pair leaves her room about two hours after they get to the house. Lizzy’s hand is in Wyatt’s as they walk down the steps to find her brothers, Ethan, Seamus, and Mark. The six of them sit around the living room when she and Wyatt walk in. Luke and Quinn have controllers in their hands and Chel is on the television.

“Predictable,” she comments as she leads Wyatt to one of the chairs adjacent to the couch that isn’t in use. Her boyfriend sits in the chair and she makes herself comfortable on his lap. “Do you guys play anything else besides hockey?”

Jack looks over to her. “Do you do anything besides your boyfriend?” he retorts. “I mean, two hours to unpack? We got bored waiting for you two to get done.”

She rolls her eyes as Wyatt drapes his arm over her thighs and she wraps an arm around his neck. “I had a lot of things,” she lies. “Sorry.”

Her older brother hums a “mhm” and turns his attention back to the game that’s being played. Luke is playing as Columbus and Quinn is playing as Calgary. Quinn has a tight two-to-one lead over his youngest brother. Being Luke’s twin, Lizzy takes his side and roots for him to win the game.

Wyatt and Jack play a round after Luke sneaks into the lead and wins three-to-two after scoring two goals late in the third period. Some good old fashioned Devils versus Stars in Newark. Lizzy turns on her brother and roots for Wyatt. Jack gives her a look every time Wyatt score and she cheers.

At the same time, Wyatt sees and experiences firsthand how competitive the Hughes siblings are because Jack begins to play dirty despite his shoulder being in a sling. Lizzy fights for Wyatt so he can focus on beating Jack.

"That all you got, Johnston?" Jack asks when Wyatt hits one of the Devils players -- she's pretty sure it was Jack his player hit -- and he goes down.

"Focus on your game, Hughes," Wyatt retorts instead of Lizzy. "Maybe you wouldn't be losing right now if you scored instead of trying to psych me out when you’re already at a disadvantage because of your shoulder."

Lizzy's jaw drops at his comeback, Quinn and Luke burst out laughing, and the Michigan boys smile. Jack sends him a glare and tries the Michigan goal with himself, and fails.

At the next stoppage, she leans into Wyatt’s ear and whispers, "That was kinda hot." He smiles and scores another goal to make it four-to-two going into the third period.

When Jack loses, he starts claiming that Wyatt cheated. “Lizzy was definitely helping him!” he accuses. “I mean, come on!”

Quinn claps his younger brother on the good shoulder and says, “I hate to break it to you, but Wyatt won fair and square.”

“I want a rematch.”

“And I want to go on the boat before it gets too dark or cold out,” Lizzy tells the group. “Wyatt’s never been on the boat either. I don’t know how to drive the boat so someone has to come out with me. Dad never taught me how.”

Her boyfriend puts his controller down on the table and taps Lizzy’s thigh so she moves. Lizzy stands up and looks around the room before she turns to walk out of the room. Quinn follows first, then Luke. The Michigan boys are next. Jack wallows in his loss.

When she gets to her room, she grabs one of the one piece suits that she packed. She’s not going to waste a bikini on a mid-70 degree late afternoon when she’s here all summer long. It’s a solid black piece with a very low cut neck that shows off a lot more cleavage than her brothers would probably like. Wyatt doesn’t seem to mind when she wears this bathing suit. He matches her with a pair of black swim shorts and one of his Stars hockey shirts with a 53 on his chest. She throws one of the shirts she stole borrowed from Wyatt before leaving the room.

The boys are down on the dock by the time she and Wyatt get outside. Quinn is in the driver’s seat and the rest of the group is scattered in the back. She and Wyatt find a place to sit next to each other, then they’re off.

Lizzy laces her fingers with Wyatt’s and rests her head on his shoulder while her boyfriend converses with her twin brother. Her eyes are closed and she listens to the two of them talk about the playoffs and how great Wyatt’s performance was.

“We couldn’t stop cheering for you guys,” Luke tells him. “Especially you. You were a point machine, Wyatt. Gave playoff McDavid a run for his money. You most likely would’ve passed him had you guys moved on to the Cup finals.”

A small smile forms on her lips as she hears her brothers all compliment Wyatt. She knows what their words mean to him. Not only are they coming from a Calder nominee, a top forward, and a top defenseman in the NHL, but they’re coming from his girlfriend’s brothers. Their words mean a lot to Wyatt, and he’s told her that nearly a dozen times since February.

The cool late afternoon Michigan air feels good on her skin after being in the humid 90 degrees in Dallas for the past month and a half. The breeze coming off the lake whips through her hair. Lizzy feels herself begin to relax as the boat bobs up and down with the waves. Quinn steers the boat into deeper lake water before they anchor so they can swim.

Luke immediately is in the water when Quinn drops anchor. Ethan and Mark are right behind him. Jack sits on the boat with his feet in the water since he’s still not cleared. Wyatt jumps in with Quinn and Lizzy sits beside her older brother. Seamus sits on his phone behind them.

She looks over at Jack and asks, “How are you really? I feel like I haven’t asked you that enough since you ended your season early to get surgery.”

With a shrug and a sigh, Jack replies, “Frustrated that I can’t do much until I get cleared. Hopefully that’s in two weeks or else the cover shoot is gonna be jeopardized in July. I need to be able to fully skate, take passes, shoot the puck. Do all that in full gear and uniform. I feel good but I’m frustrated that I feel good and can’t do anything.”

“I’m sorry, Jacky,” she says with a frown. “I will say that I am glad you’re taking the doctor’s advice to rest and do your physical therapy without pushing yourself. I know you want to get back on the ice with our brothers but I am glad you’re not pushing yourself to get there.”

He looks over at Lizzy. “I want to have a healthy season,” he explains. “I haven’t hit the one hundred point mark yet because of injuries. I could’ve hit it in the 22-23 season, but I was out with injury for a handful of games. Then last year I was on pace for it then was out for nearly twenty games. It’s incredibly frustrating to be so close but so far, you know?”

She nods but in reality, she doesn’t know. Lizzy played hockey and she’s good, but not good like her brothers. She wasn’t going to the PWHL, but she’s occasionally been on the US national women’s team. There was never any pressure on her like there are on her brothers and her boyfriend. Yes, her last name is Hughes, but she’s never been under that pressure of being a Hughes since she’s decided to go into college and temporarily suspend her hockey career.

The boys splash in the lake and Quinn is trying to drown Luke, but Lizzy’s full attention is on Jack right now. She drapes an arm around her middle brother’s neck and pulls him into a gentle side hug. “Love you, Jacky,” she tells him. “No matter what.”

Jack rests an arm around her waist and his head on her shoulder. The pair of siblings stay like that for a few moments, watching their brothers and friends in the lake.

She watches Wyatt swim up to the boat. He treads water in front of her and asks, “You coming in on your own or do I have to drag you in here?”

“Don’t you dare touch me, Wyatt Johnston,” she warns him as she lets her brother go. “I swear to God, you won’t like it if you pull me in the water.”

A mischievous smirk forms on his lips. Wyatt glances over at Jack. Lizzy looks over at her brother as he shoves her into the lake with his good arm.

She gasps and holds her breath as she goes under the cold water. Her head breaks through the surface and she looks up at Jack in the boat. “You’re so lucky that you’re hurt or I’d be pulling your ass into the water,” she tells him.

Jack sticks his tongue out at her. “That’s what you get for helping Wyatt beat me at Chel,” he retorts. “Enjoy the water, baby sister.”

A pair of arms wraps around her waist and she spins. Lizzy is face to face with Wyatt. He kicks them away from the boat and she wraps her legs around his waist as he kicks but drops them as soon as he stops. She wraps her arms around his neck.

Water droplets roll down his face from his hair. His blue eyes are brighter as the sun reflects off the water. Lizzy can’t help but smile at the sight.

“Is it bad at that I think it’s hot that you’re soaking wet in my t-shirt?” he questions. “Because all I can think about is how it’s going to hug your body when you get onto the boat and I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep my hands off of you.”

She smiles and plays with the wet hair on the back of his neck. “Only you would find me hot in a wet t-shirt,” she teases. Wyatt laughs and pushes a wet strand of hair out of her face. “I mean, come on, Wyatt.”

He pulls her closer to him by her waist until their noses touch. Her chest is flush against his. “Sorry that I find my girlfriend hot,” he mumbles.

Lizzy barely rolls her eyes before Wyatt captures her lips in a tame kiss. She reciprocates with the same gentleness as Wyatt had. Her hands slide to his jaw and she cups his face.

One of Wyatt’s hands slide into her hair and he cups the back of her neck. The kiss deepens very slightly when she tests the waters and licks across Wyatt’s bottom lip. Wyatt grants her full access and she takes advantage. A quiet hum bubbles from Wyatt’s throat. It’s only loud enough for her to hear.

Wyatt’s free hand slides up the shirt she’s wearing and rests it on her ass. She giggles into the kiss that follows.

“Ayo!” Luke shouts from twenty feet away. “Keep it PG! We don’t wanna see you trying to eat our sister’s face, Wyatt!”

She waves him off without breaking the kiss. Wyatt just laughs against her lips before he pulls back. “Are they going to say something every time I touch you?” he asks.

“Probably,” she admits with a soft smile. “I don’t think they’re used to the fact that their baby sister has a serious boyfriend. This is the first time you’re spending more than a day or two with them.”

Wyatt smiles. “Guess I’ll just have to keep it PG then,” he teases.

“It’s okay to push it to PG-13 sometimes,” she tells him. “They’ll get used to it.”

“Hope so,” Wyatt says. His voice lowers for a second as he continues talking. “Because I like touching you like I am right now with my hand on your ass.”

He gives her butt a little squeeze and she laughs. “I can’t stand you,” she lies.

“Mhm.”

༺═──────────────═༻

MAIN MASTERLIST

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[loose-angel]

Hi can I request a headcanon with Jake, Lo’ak, and Neteyam where their female mate gets angry at them one day for them being very protective of her yelling at them to leave her alone as she feels a bit suffocated and she just wants freedom to do her own thing and they react by putting their head down with their tail between their legs and ears lying flat against their head apologising very quietly before leaving with tears in their eyes and how they’d react when they’re sad and their mate coming to them to fix things with apologies from her as well ending is fluffy please? Thanks 😊

𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 Jake, Neteyam, and Lo’ak headcanons notes: i had a lot of fun making this!! esp for Lo'ak cuz its my first time writing for him... also sorry that jakes is a little short i unfortunately see him as a dad but i tried to make it somewhat romantic xDD hope u all enjoy!

Jake Sully

Jake was super protective over you, despite him being rather ‘new’ to the Na’vi lifestyle,  he still felt it was imperative for him to be your protector no matter what.

Because of this he stopped you from doing a lot of things

But if he’s with you then go right on ahead!!

But sometimes you just want to do stuff, alone.

But again, he just doesnt get that

One day, you try to go out hunting with your friend, but before you could even grab your bow, jake stops you

“Where ya going sweetheart?”

The usual phrase that made you feel so warm, now just ticks you off.

Before you could control yourself, words just start spilling out of your mouth.

“Jake! I don’t need any protecting! I was perfectly fine and alive before we even met! So just leave me alone!”

Jakes ears flatten against his head and he lets out a sigh

“Baby I –” He reaches out for you but you storm off before he could say anything

You come back from the hunt, filled with regret.

You knew you shouldnt have yelled, and you could’ve phrased things differently, but it was so frustrating!

You expect Jake to avoid you when you arrive home, but instead he greets you right at the entrance

He carries a bouquet of flowers, handing it to you

“I’m sorry for being a little overprotective over you my angel, I’m just afraid that something bad would happen to you”

“I’m sorry, I know you just want to protect me, I didnt mean to yell”

The two of you make up and nuzzle together in your hammock for the rest of the evening

Neteyam Sully

Neteyam grew up with three younger siblings, so it was inevitable that he would be protective over you as well

But he lets you do as you please

The over protectiveness began after a hunting accident that ended up with you having a fractured leg

thankfully the medicinal herbs helped speed up the healing process

But ever since then Neteyam was wary of letting you do anything without him

You try going hunting with your friends, or flying on your ikran but Neteyam simply refused.

“I can’t let you out of my sight my love, how about we go hunting tomorrow instead?”

You turn away, not responding to him, he reaches out to you but you hiss at him

Hes obviously taken aback, you’ve never so much as frowned at him, so this was new

But he was used to conflict, and even more used to solving conflict, so he stays calm

“My Tanhi, you know I just want to protect you, I promise we'll go hunting tomorrow, and you can even invite your friends too”

“Neteyam, I am not a weak child, I can do things on my own” You growled, ripping your arm from his hold. You go to leave your tent but Neteyam stops you.

“Don’t touch me! You treat me like i'm incapable, well sorry I’m not like your squad buddies but I don’t need you!”

Neteyam frowns, his ears flatten against his head, he falters in his step and lets go of your arm.

“Well if you feel you are better off in the hunt without me. . .” He trailed off, refusing to meet your eyes

You sigh, mostly in annoyance with your own actions

“I’m sorry my love, I didn’t mean it like that, I didn’t mean it at all, I just want to be able to do things on my own again”

He nods along to your words but still refuses to meet your eyes

You gently grab a hold of his chin, lifting it up, you nuzzle against his nose lightly

“I’m sorry ma’Neteyam, I will always need you”

Lo'ak Sully

Lo’ak was on the normal side of things

Once the two of you became a legitimate couple, he did feel some sense of protectiveness over you, but he never let it guide his emotions and decisions

Up until he realized that other men of the clan had no respect for your relationship and would continue to flirt with you

You being your kind self, you didn’t notice these advances as anything more than kind compliments, especially since you were already with your beloved Lo’ak

But Lo’ak saw thru their ‘kind’ words

It was no secret that Lo’ak faced a little bit of insecurity about himself, so seeing that these seemingly better men (they are not) are trying to take you away from him, his overprotectiveness kicked in

Lo’ak then decided that you were under no circumstances allowed out of his sight.

He tried to not be overbearing about it, if you wanted to hang out with friends he would simply watch from a distance, ready to pounce on any man who bothered to approach you

You were fine with it at first, waving it off as one of Lo’aks antics but as time passed and Lo’ak kept at it you started to feel bothered about it

“Lo’ak, do you really have to come along?” You and your friends decided to go out to the forest to pick out some fruit for the clan (which was also a secret gossip session) and yet again, the boy was trailing behind you

“Yeah, obviously, cuz these guys can’t get the hint” He grunted

“Well I don’t need you trailing behind me all the time!” You rolled your eyes

“It’s not like you reject these guys, you let them come all over you!”

“Leave me alone! I don’t want you anywhere near me!” You hissed, you turned around and continued your trek to the forest grounds.

Lo’ak keeps his eyes on you as you further the distance between you both

His ears flatten against his head, tail swishing softly

Once youre out of sight, Lo’ak turns around to begin walking back to his home

A few hours pass before you come back from the forest

“Ma’Lo’ak? Where are you my love?”

You approach the na’vi boy on the hammock, you lock eyes and you notice a slight puffiness to his own

Immediately you felt 10x worse

“I’m sorry my love,” You climb into the hammock with him, thankful that he opens his arms for you, “I’m so sorry about what I said earlier”

He doesnt say anything, so you resort to peppering his face with kisses

Soon enough he lets out a giggle and the both of you are able to hug it out

[plooto]

it broke your heart to watch the sully family leave. there was nothing you could do to help. help their family, help your best friends, help your mate.

neteyam’s breathing was fast, uneven. he wanted to tell you everything..and yet nothing at all. he cupped your face. your union was recent, only mates for the last few moons..

“ i will come back, if it is the last thing i do, tiyawn. ” your heart pounded in your ears, tear stained cheeks speaking more volume than yours words could ever have. you didn’t want him to leave..you could bear him to. his hands cupped your face, eyes never leaving yours as he clung to this moment—the moment that very well might be the last time he sees you. he rests his forehead against yours, sucking in a breath, encouraging himself to speak he has to get off his chest—no, needs. words that were no longer able to be said tomorrow. words he so desperately needed to change the outcome of his future—your future together..

“ neteyam. ” your ears rang as you watched neteyam’s lips move, you couldn’t hear anything. not over the sound of your heart sharing into millions—no, billions—of tiny little shards. neteyam pressed a longing kiss to your lips, wishing to freeze this moment forever. to stay in here with you, to stay with you, to grow old with you. his hands lingered, his father calling him again. he pressed a kiss to your forehead, hands gliding down your arms before he turned. begrudgingly stepping to his ikran, he glanced at you one last time before flying off, following his family.

“ you skxawng. i’m shot.. ”

even with growing anxiety for neteyam’s well being, the sully family pressed on. however, quaritch was the last of their problems.

meanwhile, your heart burned, body shaking with pain as you fell over. eyes barely open, you muttered,

“ neteyam.. ”

his mother cried as his eyes fluttered open. everyone—jake, tuk, even ronal, let out a sigh of relief. lo’ak’s eyes blurred, unable to hold back his emotions anymore, he hid his face in his hands as sobs shook his form. the injury he caused.

kiri’s arms wrapped around him, “ eywa has grated us another chance with him, brother. ” lo’ak nodded slowly, the image of his hands stained with his brothers blood slowly flowing into his mind. voices, shouts filled his head, overthinking at its worst.

“ lil bro, i am fine. ” neteyam mumbled, slowly listing his arm to place it on lo’ak’s shoulder. the younger brothers eyes darted to neteyam’s, clouded with tears of doubt. neteyam’s chest throbbed, not just from healing pains, but feeling his brothers pain. neteyam pulled lo’ak in for a hug, gently, not to put a halt to healing the holes in his body.

“ i- i’m sorry, neteyam..it- it’s all my f- fault. ” neteyam choked on a laugh, wincing in pain. moving a hand to the back of his brothers head, he spoke again, sighing.

“ why must you always make things so hard..? ” he asked, tugging on his younger brother’s kuru with three of his four fingers. lo’ak hissed in return. the family laughed, relieved that their relationship has not changed a bit.

“ y’n will be happy to see you again, son ” jake rested a hand on neteyam’s left shoulder, long fingers resting at the base of his shoulder blade, giving it a reassuring squeeze. neteyam’s eyes flickered to his father, grown out braids swaying to the side as the tilted his head in confusion.

“ y’n, w- who’s y’n? ” neteyam stuttered, eyes blinking rapidly. the sullys fell silent, ronal even excusing herself to avoid the tension. the family’s silence lasted longer, growing louder as no one spoke up, too surprised from the words he just spoke. neteyam’s eyes scanned the room, waiting for someone to explain just what was happening.

“ guys..seriously, who is this y’n person? ” neytiri drew a sharp breath in, the reality of the situation finally sinking in as she glanced up at her mate.

kiri broke the silence, voice sure but wavering as she explained, “ brother..y’n is your mate back home.. ”

ext . 2

published . october 22 , 2023

[flowerpotmage]

Tight Grip, Broken Dam (16)

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You don’t question it anymore, when Miguel appears in your bed at night. He’s not there for sex, no, you’ve never even kissed—though you would be lying if you said you weren’t open to the idea of kissing him. He’s there for comfort. For rest.If only it could stay so simple.

Pair: Miguel O'Hara & GN!Reader

Notes: for chapter: feelings? slight timeskip at start of chapter. someone remembers a sex dream. A/N: if you're still reading, thanks for waiting so patiently!!

Word Count: 2k

Read this chapter on Ao3 here. If you like my work, please consider leaving kudos there as well! You do not need an account to do so.

Gwen stays, and goes. You stay in your own dimension more often, going into the city as Spider and writing for the paper. You find yourself spending even more time with your new friends, Karen, Foggy, and Matt. They don’t say anything about your odd hours or frequent bouts of ‘illness’ when you get a bruise or scrape you can’t easily hide and won’t heal in time for you to make an appearance. You begin to notice that you’re not the only one with odd hours or mysterious injuries—Matt has more and more frequently been appearing with mysterious bruises, stiff movements, and the rare split lip. You’ve caught Karen and Foggy whispering quiet concerned words to him once or twice, hushed voices silenced when they notice you.

Despite these odd occurrences, life continues pleasantly on its way.

“Do you want to go out for breakfast tomorrow,” you whisper quietly one night, raking your fingers through Miguel’s hair and back away from his forehead.

“Tired of my cooking already?” he whispers back, all sleepy half lidded eyes and the corner of his mouth tilted in a smile.

You huff a quiet breath through your nose, amused. “Don’t be dramatic. I just thought you might like to see some of my neighborhood, since I’ve seen some of yours.”

His brows furrow, his mouth opening slightly.

“The headquarters,” you roll your eyes. “Don’t look so concerned. Everyone knows you practically live there.”

He sighs, body relaxing back into the mattress, eyes closing as you continue on with his hair.

“I do.”

“Do what?”

“I have an apartment on the upper floors,” he explains.

You frown slightly. “So you really spend all your time there?”

He smiles again, cracking his eyes open to look at you. The cherry amber red hue of his eyes takes on the rich depth of red velvet cake in the dark, and you smile back.

“What?”

“I’d say I spend plenty of time here too,” he says, and you chuckle. He closes his eyes again. “Breakfast out sounds great.”

“Great,” you repeat, your smile softening.

The next morning when you leave the apartment the air has that liminal just-before-fall and just-after-summer feeling to it. The shade would be just barely too cold if you were any sort of normal human, the sunlight just a bit too warm, and when you look you see that the green leaves on the city trees have just barely started to change.

“We’re a bit behind here,” you say, hands in your pockets to resist the urge to hold Miguel’s hand in your own. You nudge him playfully with your elbow when he looks at you, the furrow of his brow asking you to explain. “Y’know. Our cars still have wheels,” you grin.

Miguel chuffs at that, amused. “Flying cars are overrated. Sure, it creates a whole lot more lanes, but it also creates a whole extra spatial plane to have accidents on–”

You happily listen to him criticize his home dimension, walking along to your favorite nearby spot for breakfast. Happily enough, anyway, given the odd sensation of a far too empty palm.

You struggle to swallow the fluttering down again when you’re sitting across from Miguel at a little table away from the windows, watching him curiously read the menu and then later carefully using the too small silverware that feels just right in your own hands.

You’re out on a rooftop in the late hours of the night, chill air blowing across your suit. It's quiet, the city surprisingly sleepy for one that supposedly never sleeps, and so you’re left with a muddy whirl of thoughts and feelings and no distractions.

You’d be lying if you said you—

“You seem deep in thought.”

The voice pulls your attention away from the hypnotizing whirlpool you’d been staring down into the center of, and back onto dry land. 

“Daredevil,” you greet, turning to look at him over your shoulder. “I didn’t realize I was back in your kitchen.”

“Eh,” he shrugs. “You’re not. It's just over there,” he says and points at the stretch of buildings across the street with his thumb and a little smile. “Noticed you over here and thought I’d say hello, make sure there’s no trouble bringing you this way.” This last part is polite with a hint of concern: he wants to know if he needs to keep an eye out for something suspicious entering his little neighborhood.

You shake your head. “No, just… thinking.”

“Ah,” he nods, and walks closer, all straight lines and friendly air. “Mask, or personal?”

You pause, watching him approach to stand a respectful arm’s length away. You turn away and exhale, crossing your arms loosely, leaning your weight on one leg. “Both.”

Daredevil nods in your periphery, a quiet “Ah” of understanding leaving his mouth. “Someone who knows?”

You nod. “He knows.”

Daredevil pauses, tilts his head to the side in that way he does. “Must be complicated.”

“You have no idea.”

He doesn’t pry, but instead keeps you silent company for the next long moments of night. It's pleasant, really, the quiet company of someone presumably living nearly as strange of a life as yourself.

“I should head home,” you murmur after some time has passed, and he nods.

“You know where to find me, if… well. If you need a hand. Or an ear.” He seems slightly unsure about offering the latter, but there's no doubt in your mind about his commitment to offering the former.

You smile. “Thanks. I’ll swing by again sometime, just in case you need a hand sometime.”

He smiles, gives a short nod, and you swing off into the night.

Peter B. Parker watches Miguel with narrowed eyes across the table. MJ suggested they invite him for dinner again, sans you, for one of the casual nights together they used to have more frequently. But something is off.

Miguel is distracted.

Normally present, somewhat conversational, and at the very least engaged with May, today his mind is somewhere else. He asks MJ to repeat herself not just once but twice, and seems only three-quarters aware of May’s babbling and reaching hands. Peter shares a look with MJ and they separate off into different rooms; her upstairs with the baby, and Peter in the kitchen with Miguel on cleanup.

“So,” he begins, putting away tupperware while Miguel helpfully rinses plates in the sink.

Miguel spares him a glance, eyebrow lifted.

“What’s new?” Peter asks with exaggerated nonchalance.

Miguel’s second glance is bemused. “With what?”

Peter shrugs, crossing his arms and letting his eyes wander around the room lazily. “With, I dunno, whatever.” His eyes snap to Miguel, who is finally focused and slightly suspicious.

“I feel like you are trying to imply something, Peter, and I’m not sure I follow.”

Peter purses his lips slightly, holding back a smile. “You just seem distracted, is all. Something on your mind?”

Miguel shakes his head, turning back to the sink.

Peter sorts through his own thoughts, through the roulette wheel of ways he can needle his friend about his life.

“Someone on your mind?”

Miguel’s shoulders tense, but he continues on with his small helpful task. “Don’t be ridiculous, Peter.”

He’s hit the nail on the head.

“There’s nothing wrong with being happy. With having a life.”

Miguel is silent for just a heartbeat too long. “Whatever you think is going on—”

“Come on, Miguel–”

“Leave it. There’s nothing.”

Peter leaves it. For now.

“How did you meet?” you ask the other Miguel. You know you shouldn’t, but… curiosity is crawling everywhere your mind turns. You try to rationalize it away — you’re just getting to know a friend, you’re curious about your alternate reality self. Everyone else here has gotten to compare lives, so why shouldn’t you?

He smiles, eyes taking on that faraway look of reminiscence. “I was getting my master’s degree. I wasn’t… I wasn’t Spider-Man, yet,” he shrugs, a small smile creeping over his lips. “We had a conversation on campus, in a library. I was looking for a paper referenced in my reading on the genetics of pain tolerance, and y– well, the other you,” he gives an apologetic, rueful smile before continuing: “You were in the last year of your bachelor’s, and totally lost. The student librarian gave you the wrong directions, so I helped you figure out where you really needed to be.”

You smile softly. “How nice of you.”

“Well, not really,” he laughs. “I was trying to be friendly, but I had this… this sarcastic know-it-all thing going on. We didn’t see each other for a year after that, and then suddenly you were a paid intern where I had just gotten a job.”

“Alchemax?”

“Alchemax,” he confirms.

As he tells the story of how he met the other you, the way the two of them slowly became friends and then more at the end of the internship when the dimension-209 version of yourself left for a different job, the way they fell in love, and he became Spider-Man but you figured it out together and still got married, the way he loved the living version of your aunt and….

You listen, and can’t help but picture yourself in this life. One where you finished school and never got bit by that spider, where your aunt never died, where you live a normal life with—

Shit. You might not be able to ignore this for much longer, after all.

“It sounds like you had a good life together,” you offer, when 209 falls quiet.

He nods, smiling sadly. “We did.”

It’s after dinner and you’re watching Miguel clean up the dishes from your seat on the couch. He’s long since relinquished total control of the kitchen and now includes you in the process of cooking, even if the space is a little cramped. But he refuses to budge on cleanup, insisting on doing it on his own.

“Are you sure I can’t–”

“Don’t even think about it,” he says firmly, shooting a stern look over the counter before he loads the dishwasher.

The dishwasher. The–

Whatever noise you let out would embarrass you beyond belief, if it weren’t for the hand now snaking down your front.

“Dishes,” you say, breathless. That’s right—you had been loading the dishwasher before this.

Your face heats, stomach flipping, as the memory of a dream from much too long ago comes rushing back. You swallow, averting your eyes from the kitchen, unable to stop the careening train in your head that’s rebuilding the dream from scratch, the roles reversed.

Miguel, standing in the kitchen. You, this time behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and letting your hands wander–

“Alright, sheesh,” you finally say. “My apologies, Kitchen Lord.”

You don’t have to look to know that Miguel is rolling his eyes.

As he finishes up you escape down the hall to the bathroom, closing the door behind yourself with a hard click. You don’t know why you’re so… whatever the hell this is. It’s not like you’ve never had other dreams about him, it’s not like you’re completely unaware of the steadily growing feelings you secretly harbor. It’s just… it’s just…

It’s just what?

You flush the toilet, wash your hands. Miguel’s toothbrush—how long has he had a toothbrush here?—sits innocently in the cup beside your own, staring back at you.

It’s just that now it doesn’t feel like harmless attraction to a friend. It’s just that now, when these moments happen they send you fleeing into the bathroom. It’s just that now it’s—

Shit.

You dry your hands on the hand towel, open the door, turn off the light. You stand in the darkness of the hallway, though it really isn’t all that dark with your slightly enhanced vision, heart pounding.

And then Miguel steps into view at the other end of the hall, the light behind him casting a soft glow on the hard angles of his face and the soft curve of one side of his mouth.

He opens his mouth, and you can see the gentle frown in his brow before you cut him off. It comes out before you can stop it, before you can think through what it is you’re asking and what might follow.

“Can we talk about something?”

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[legacygirlingreen]

SNEAK PEAK: Farmer Sebastian Sallow x Reader Story

Hi everybody! I’ve been working on a fic featuring Farm Boy Sebastian sallow based on @localravenclaw ‘s art and as promised here’s a short sneak peak from the beginning of it… hope everyone likes it and I can’t wait to post the full thing…

Edit: story is up and completed! Find here!

Warnings: slight mention of abuse / drunk Solomon sallow, mention of parental loss

Word count: 3,300

One month. One, cold, depressing, and exhausting month in Feldcroft. The neighbors she had met were nice enough, she supposed. One of the merchants was always kind enough to offer her and her siblings sweets, feeling sorry for their disrupted childhood. Another man in the town had started teaching her younger brother how to fly a broom, as he loved quidditch The only exception being Mr. Sallow next door.

One night she had been out in her own yard reading with a small enchanted lantern, a habit her grandmother had secretly endorsed despite her mothers protests. The moon was high and full, the brisk air being combated by the blanket she’d wrapped around herself as she laid on the soft grass. It had to have been close to midnight when the neighbor in question stumbled back up the hill, bottle in hand. As he came around her home she turned a page with a sigh, seeming to startle the drunken man, and he suddenly went into a fit of rage.

“What in Merlin’s name are you doing outside so late ?! You’ve scared me nearly to death! Reading in the dark no less? I ought to go straight to your Gran-“ he started shouting, waking her mother and grandmother, as well as several of the neighbors as he roared into the night, frightening her. As he had come closer she had backed up, accidentally knocking over the lantern, starting a small fire along the grass at her feet.

The flames quickly moved up, catching her right foot in the process, and she cried out in pain as her mother rushed outside to see what was wrong. Immediately her mother flew into protective mode, shouting at him to back up as her Gran made it over and doused the flames before she was burned too badly.

“Go home Solomon.” Her grandmother said sternly as the man threw the glass bottle against the side of their new home, shattering it as she knelt down beside the girl to examine the burn.

“I pity those children he watches, especially the boy” her gran muttered under her breath as she helped calm the pain with a simple charm. The burn still aches but not nearly as much as it had.

“I’m sorry I hadn’t told you to steer clear of Sallow… he’s usually fine but sometimes when he’s got a hand on the bottle-“ her Gran started but she stopped the women.

“I - I was just reading” she said with a wobbly voice, tears continuing to fall from her eyes as her grandmother looked at her softly.

“I know. That man is just very bitter, for reasons no one will truly understand. Let’s get you inside. We will sort it out tomorrow. I’m sure once Solomon sobers up he will be back over with his head hung low.” The older woman said, as she brushed her hands on her skirt, and she hobbled in the house to get something more effective at healing the burn on her foot.

That had been the previous night and she went down stairs that morning to her mother’s grim appearance. She tried to push the fear she’d felt at the neighbors outburst from her mind as she hobbled across the kitchen. In her mothers lap sat the youngest of her siblings, munching away on some fresh fruit.

“How’s your foot looking this morning” her mother asked and she didn’t respond, simply bringing it up to her mothers free knee so she could inspect it.

“A little better but it still looks quite awful. How about I run to hogsmead and see if the potions shop as anything to help?” Her mother asked and she just shrugged, putting her foot back down as she moved to the kitchen to retrieve an apple before going to the front door. Sliding shoes on, careful with her burn, she left without much of a word.

Stepping outside, she moved slowly, trying to avoid putting much weight on the foot. As she walked her skirt moved up and exposed the portion of the burn along her ankle to the brisk air. As she made her way around the towns circle, she came to sit at the base of the floo flame.

Since moving here she’s taken to sitting along its back. The thought she could just toss in some powder and be back in France made her feel less alone. From the backside of the stone she has a view of the ruins atop the hill and privacy from the town. Given feldcroft was populated by few people, rarely was the floo network even used.

Given her normal spot made her visible to the sallow home she opted to sit in front of the flame, hiding behind the small stone wall in case Solomon was out and about. Grabbing her book she sat there for a while, looking up every now and again to stare at the flame and thought of their home in France…

She ran through the lavender fields, hiding in the massively overgrown flowers. To a normal adult the flowers came up over the waist but to her small childlike frame she could hide easily within the rows.

“I’m going to get you my little flower fairy!” Her dad shouted playfully as she ran through the fields before dropping down and hiding.

They often held this routine when he got home from work. He’d chase her and actually would give up until she snuck up on him.

“I guess my little fairy isn’t here today… I suppose that means I have to eat all her dessert myself…” he said, whistling before she heard his footsteps heading back towards their home.

Taking that as her opportunity she moved, sliding closer to where she could see him in the fields. Just when she was about to reach out and touch him she felt someone touch her shoulder-

“Sebastian! Don’t startle her” a girls voice called out as she jumped.

Quickly she realized she had fallen asleep by the floo flame her book still propped up on her knee.

Brown eyes. That was the first thing she noticed when she looked up. Not far from her own, she saw dark brown eyes, similar to the color of chocolate frogs, staring down at her.

The boy was kneeling, trying to match her height the best he could, despite still being much larger even while bending down. He still had his warm hand placed on her shoulder from where he’d woken her up. As she looked at him, still startled from being awoken so ungraciously from her dreams of France, she took in every detail of his beautiful face.

Concern evident in his drawn, dark eyebrows. Round button nose, with nostrils slightly flared. Full lips, slightly parted showing just a hint of straight white teeth. His face was absolutely covered in freckles. It was hard to find an inch of his skin that didn’t seem to be covered in blemishes now that she really got a good look. His dark eyelashes fluttered as he looked to her, seemingly to determine if she was alright. All she could do was examine how his dark curls fell over his brow and down his collar so brilliantly...

Are you alright?

She hadn't even realized he had spoken until he quirked one of his bushy eyebrows at her.

She simply nodded, still finding words difficult as she stared at him. It wasn’t until his sister laughed and spoke that she stopped her gawking.

“I think you’ve rendered the poor girl speechless” the girl spoke with a chuckle as the boy, whom she vaguely recalled being referred to as Sebastian, rolled his eyes at his sister.

“Cut it out Anne” he said, annoyance in his tone before he turned back to her. “I apologize for my sister. We weren’t exactly expecting to step back into Feldcroft and see a sleeping girl… although I don’t blame you if you’ve been reading Mystical Secrets of the Ancient Magical World , the title is a bit misleading as it is dreadfully boring” he said carefully grabbing her book.

Before she could speak he offered a hand. For a moment she simply stared at it, analyzing the freckles which spilled down onto the skin along his knuckles. She hasn’t seen many boys close to her age’s hands, but she quickly noted the way his looked much more square than her own. Realizing she was still just looking at him she placed her hand in his, allowing him to pull her up.

“There we are. Do you live around here or did you wander off?” He asked and she turned towards her grandmother’s home, pointing to it.

“You must be Mrs Evelyn's granddaughter from France! Your gran always speaks about you and your siblings. She said you love to read. What are your favorite books? Do you attend Beauxbatons? You look a little young, perhaps you haven’t gotten your wand yet… mine is aspen wood. Did you know aspen wands are used by those said to become accomplished duelists? I am actually in a secret dueling club myself at school. I don’t mean to brag but I’m quite good… Are you here for a visit or-“ the boy began to ramble without so much as a breath between his questions and anecdotes.

She hardly cared, simply looking up at him and smiling bashfully in his face as he rambled. She kept looking at him, stealing glances at his robe, baring a green crest with a snake, along with the 3 piece suit he wore also in a pale green plaid. His sister wore a similar outfit, only difference being a skirt instead of pants and a slightly different collar to the button down shirt.

“Sebastian you’re going to overwhelm her” the girl, Anne, spoke, pushing her brother out of the way with a smile.

“I’m Anne and this annoying boy who doesn’t shut up is my brother Sebastian, we live here with our uncle Solomon-“ Anne started but at the mention of Solomon the girl's eyes grew wide with fear.

Sebastian picked up on the girls immediately fear at the drop of his uncle's name and watched intently as her eyes dropped down to her feet. When he did so, Sebastian realized she had been putting her weight on one foot instead of both.

“What did my uncle do that frightened you?” He asked sternly, interrupting his sister as the girl looked at him wide eyed.

“Sebastian I don’t think-“ Anne said but he cut her off once more.

“She looked like she was going to immediately swell up with tears at just the mention of uncle Solomon. Not to mention her foot or leg is injured. So again,” he said turning towards her before continuing, “what did my uncle do that scared you”. She was taken aback by how gently he spoke, eyes laced with concern as she looked from the home back to him awkwardly.

“I, I was reading late last night, on the lawn of my Gran’s house. He must’ve come back late from the fields I suppose… but when I turned the page I think startled him because he started to yell and shout at me and then…” she said softly, looking down at her feet to avoid eye contact.

Once again Sebastian bent down while setting her book on the ground, having tracked her eyes looking down at her leg. Gently he pushed aside the edge of her long skirt, seeing the burn going from her leg down into the confines of her shoe.

“The lantern got knocked over by accident -“ she tried to reason as his finger gently reached out to brush against her burned skin before he looked up at her apologetically. He was no stranger to his uncle's violent outbursts but he felt awful knowing such a young girl had to experience one all alone.

Carefully bringing out his wand he muttered a spell she didn’t quite hear and suddenly the pain in her injury stopped. The skin didn’t fully heal externally, remnants remaining visually, but the pain went away fully. He once again brushed a gentle finger over her skin before pushing the bottom of her skirt back down and standing up.

“I’m sorry you had to experience that. Might I ask where your parents or Gran were when this happened?” He tried to gauge the gravity of the situation, as she shivered, having finally realized how much she enjoyed the way he carefully caressed her skin.

“My mom and Gran were asleep…” she said as he moved the trunk he had out of the way, gesturing to his sister to head back to their home. At his movement the girl nodded, using her want to levitate both their trunks and start heading back towards the house without a word.

“Why on earth were you out so late on your own?” He asked. From his tone she gathered that the boy had immediately felt a sense of protectiveness over her, most likely due to her age. She realized he was a few years older, but inside she was screaming that she didn’t need to be treated like a child.

“I- I’ve been going outside to read at night. I can’t stand the way the house sounds at night.” she said as if it explained the odd behavior.

The boy only sighed, looking at her, trying to make sense of her aversion to sleeping in the house at night. “It takes some getting used to how all these old houses settle in the late night with the cold air and the wind on them. I know it's loud sometimes but-” he started only to be stopped mid sentence by her.

“This house is too quiet... I miss my Papa’s snoring…” she said quietly as she looked down, a small tear working out of her eye. She brushed it away, holding back the rest as she didn’t want to cry in front of the boy.

He didn’t say anything as he looked at her. Truth be told he understood the feeling quite well.

“I miss my father’s snoring as well.” He said quietly, placing a hand on her shoulder again, attempting to explain that he too understood how grief often manifested itself in odd ways. “He used to nearly shake our flat back in London with how loud he was. My first nights here were… also quiet.” Sebastian explained, turning the girl’s body around slightly before slightly pushing her to start walking her back to the home.

She didn’t say anything. Neither did he. They simply traversed the small walk to her grandmother's home while he kept a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Does it… does it go away?” She asked him after a moment.

“No. It doesn’t. It gets easier but never goes away fully.” He said looking at the young girl. Her accent confounded him. He’d never heard someone speak like her. It must’ve been the hybrid of having a Scottish mother and a French father, because her inflections sounded odd.

Before long he found himself on the stoop of his neighbors home, hand comfortingly still on the girl's shoulder when he knocked. As he did so, he looked down. The poor thing was shaking like a leaf, for reasons he’d never know. Her shoulders felt so fragile, and bony, much like a little finch. She stood so much smaller than he did, despite not being that much younger.

Eventually his staring was disrupted when the old woman next door, who had patched up several of his injuries inflicted by Solomon, opened the door seemingly startled to see him alongside the girl.

“Oh Sebastian I see you’re back home for the summer. Met my granddaughter y/n have we?” She asked with a mischievous grin.

“I have, although she hadn’t exactly told me her name. It’s nice to meet you y/n” he said looking down into her eyes with a soft expression, loosening his grip on her as he came to stand behind her.

“Why don’t you get inside dear, you’ve been in the sun a while, you look sunburnt. Go find that aloe plant I keep on the windowsill of your room” her grandmother said, gesturing to the house.

Taking one last glance at the boy the girl smiled and turned to him with a small curtsy. “Thank you Sebastian” she said, with a grin before ducking under her Gran’s arm and stepping inside.

When she came inside she lingered on the stairs, catching glimpses of the boy, as well as his hushed whispers with her Gran.

“I’m sorry about uncle Solomon”

“It’s not your fault dear… you know better than anyone how he is drowned in the bottle”

“Your granddaughter had no reason to be on the receiving end. Poor thing looked like she was going to faint just hearing his name mentioned earlier” she heard him say with a sigh and she caught a brief glimpse of him pushing his hair out of his face.

“She’s been through a lot lately. Losing her father, having to move to a place she doesn’t know, around people she doesn’t know. I’m sure she just needs time to adjust” her Gran spoke.

“Still. I’ll try and keep the wrath of Solomon off her and her siblings the best I can. Might be best to warn them not to go near the house if at all possible. Nor leave the little ones out alone just to be on the safe side.” Sebastian said to the older woman, giving her his word and advice.

“I appreciate it, Sebastian. Now get home before your uncle has a meltdown” she said shooing him from the doorstep before closing the door.

“I know you’re listening, you can come down now” her Gran said with a smile.

She simply sulked back down the stairs, realizing she’d been caught eavesdropping. She expected a reprimand for being rude but the older woman surprised her.

“He’s a very handsome lad. Very smart too, you know?” Gran said and she immediately blushed as the woman looked at her.

“I, I -“ she panicked as her grandmother laughed

“Dear, that’s the first time I’ve seen you smile since you got here. There’s nothing wrong with harboring an innocent crush on the farm boy next door… Why don’t you help me cook supper tonight? I’m sure a feeble old woman like me could use the help of such a strong girl like you” Her gran asked as she nodded.

Later that evening after she’d helped with dinner, and aided her mother in getting her younger siblings into bed, she returned to the private loft and saw the window open. She recalled leaving it cracked but not fully open. On her desk sat the book she had earlier. Sebastian had taken it out of her hand and set it on the ground, neglecting it in the grass. Strange it was back here on her desk.

When she opened the cover a small note spilled out as a quiet snoring sound filled the air. It wasn’t obnoxiously loud, but it filled the silent room with background noise.

She put the book on the table next to her bed, letting it lull her to sleep. And sleep she did, soundly, and with a smile on her face as she replayed the image of his unruly curls and brown eyes in her mind.

To be continued very soon!

I love you all and thanks for the continued support! Also this is from @localravenclaw please check out her farmer Sebastian content it’s inspired the work thus far 😭

Also “Bienvenue en Ecosse” —> “welcome to Scotland”

[cowboylikedean]

one year ago, i went to hang out with my best friend i hadn't seen in 5 years after he ripped my heart out and stomped on it. prior to sledge leaving, this was the most painful breakup i'd ever had. i was so nervous and unsure. i knew i missed him and had never let myself heal from the loss of him because i didn't want to. i knew i'd never found someone who lifted my heart like he had. i knew it could be weird and awkward, but i knew i had dreamed of this day for 5 years.

so i got in the car.

i left my house early because i was too anxious sitting around. i went to my dad's, which was on the way. i was hanging out there for a few minutes and almost cancelled. i was nervous and thought for a second "i don't want to do this, what if it's so weird." i shoved those thoughts down by telling myself "i dreamed out this, i deserve to at least try, to see this out. if it's weird, i'll know. and if it's not, then i mean... maybe i'll get my life back!" i left dad's slightly late because i was dragging my heels in this internal debate.

i put on electric touch on repeat on my way to him. "this could either break my heart or bring it back to life" is the best way i could ever describe that feeling. i remember driving and feeling so unsure but getting more excited with every chorus. it could bring me back to life!!!

i pulled up and saw him sitting outside the starbucks he works at, and all of the sudden, nothing was wrong. there was no fear this wasn't going to work... all there was was joy. that was my best friend and i had pulled up to starbucks to pick him up from work SO many times!! this was just... normal. this was what my life was supposed to be!! i knew it was going to be okay, i didn't have a tiny drop of doubt. we've spoken about this and he told me he felt the same way when he saw my car. he was nervous and anxious, but then he saw my car pull up and it was just like old times. there was no anxiety, it all dropped instantly. we were still us. before we even said hello.

i got out of the car and came up to him. we hugged, and again, it was like we were just us. we went to dinner at the olive garden nearby. i dropped food on my shirt and he laughed. i kept staring at his smile, just completely absorbed by how much i missed it. i had ordered a diet coke with no ice (like i usually do). the straw was floating (as straws do) and i hit it while speaking with my hands (as i do) and the straw went flying. he laughed and said "oh zoe" in such a familiar tone. i said "i'm still me" and he said "i love it." i don't remember if i responded "i love you" out loud or not, but i remember that's what i was thinking.

we left dinner and went to a nearby park to talk and catch up. we lost track of time. my phone died somewhere in there, and i didn't care. i had the love of my life in front of me. nothing else mattered. while we were talking, he referenced a secret i had forgotten i'd told him. to my memory, there was one (1) person i'd told: sledge. but he knew. i realized how much i trusted him before he left. he told me some stuff that had happened that he felt ashamed of. i told him that shame wasn't necessary. there is nothing, absolutely nothing, anyone can do and not grow from. shame is the enemy of growth, so there's no reason for it to be here. he told me i'm going to be an amazing therapist when i finish school.

we left the park when a police officer came and told us the park closed at sun down. it was well past sundown. i wanna say it was near midnight. we realized then what time it was... we both had to work in the morning so i remember us both being like "tomorrow's gonna suck!! but it was so worth it" and you know what? it was!!!

i got home and i told him that the day was so beautiful and i'd realized i couldn't keep it casual, i couldn't play it slow. i was either gonna be all in in trusting him or i wasn't going to be able to do this at all. i told him to please not do this if he's not being true. that i was in this. he told me he was in this too. i told him he was one of the greatest loves of my life and he said he adored me. that there was a missing piece that was back.

a year ago today, i took a chance on a man who had destroyed me and now his cats live in my house and the left side of my bed is no longer mine. he's left things at my house and held my hand at my mother's funeral. a year ago we had no idea what we were getting into..... but he's the love of my life.

[incendio22]

FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL

Chapter 16: The Story of Another Sallow

During Christmas me, Ominis and Sebastian stayed at Hogwarts. Sebastian and Ominis because they don't have a family to go home to and me because I wanted to stay at Hogwarts with them. My parents were disappointed, but eventually gave in and allowed me to stay. The last month Ominis and I had spent lots of time trying to trace Anne Sallow's footsteps in order to find her whereabouts. She had done a very good job hiding, but we managed to track her down to Manor Cape. Both Ominis and I found it curious, since there weren't many residences in Manor Cape. Mainly abandoned castles and animal dens. Maybe that's the reason why she was almost impossible to track down.

A couple of days after Christmas, but still before the new year, Ominis and I decided to head off to Manor Cape. The professors were busy taking time to themselves and didn't really look out for the students in the same way they normally do, which made it a whole lot easier to sneak away from the castle for two days without being noticed. We only told Sebastian we were going to see Anne, but not where. It seemed to upset him, which was reasonable. He did, however, tell us to give Anne his best.

I put on the sweater Sebastian gave me for Christmas. It was a maroon knitted sweater and I absolutely adored it. He had explained that he found it funny, because 'I was the only Slytherin who looked good in red'. With his words in my head I put my hair into two braids and put on a hat. It was freezing outside and we would have to fly for several hours in order to get there. I had talked Imelda into letting Ominis borrow her broom. It was hard to convince her, since she had gotten it only a year ago and she wanted to take it with her home so she could practice over the holidays. However, here we were. Standing on the courtyard, getting ready to leave.

''Ominis.'' I begin. ''I know your wand helps you out with practically everything, but are you positive that it's safe for you to fly?''

''Relax, Y/n.'' He laughs. ''As long as you don't fly me into any danger, it will be alright.''

''I just had to ask. I mean, I wouldn't be able to fly if I couldn't see.'' I state the obvious.

''Well, I'm not on the quidditch team for a reason. But, I can get from point A to point B without any problems.'' He explains.

We take off and start our journey. It's snowing quite a lot, but the sun is shining which makes it look magical. Just like a picture, I think to myself. The sun is burning my eyes, but it also generates a small amount of heat which I'm thankful for.

By lunch we land and have one sandwich each. I try to explain to Ominis how beautiful the nature is, but you can only do so much with words. He tells me that he can see it by picturing it in his head, but of course that cannot possibly resemble the beauty that actually is.

Before the sun sets we arrive in Cape Manor. It's getting dark and cold so we find some shelter for the night before we seek out Anne tomorrow. Ominis lights a fire in order to keep us warm. Throughout the night we discuss several topics. Sebastian's healing process, my feelings towards him, Anne, the loss of Professor Fig. Ominis is clever and has many insightful thoughts.

''What do you think this prophecy means for us?'' I ask him.

I have been unable to process the actual meaning of the prophecy. The awful images flashing in it, the voice cold as ice freezing me into the core. The worst part is that we don't even know what it means for us, right here and right now.

''I don't know.'' Ominis' face looks almost camouflaged from the lights coming from the fireplace. ''But I fear that it might force me to reach out to my family.''

''I can only imagine how difficult that must be for you.'' I say sympathetically. ''How long ago did you cut them off?''

''After I begun my 2nd year at Hogwarts.'' His voice is low. This is obviously something that is bothering him and that he finds difficult speaking about. ''Ever since, I haven't had a family. I practically lived with Sebastian during summer. Which is why it was so hard for me watching him getting consumed by dark magic last year. I saw him revitalize my family's fate.''

''It must have been difficult. Cutting the cords with your family and having to fear about your best friend walking down the same path.'' I say in a soft voice.

''Oh, it was. But it's better this way, not having anything to do with my family.'' He says calmly. ''But it's also why I fear that this prophecy might mean that I have to see them again. Naturally, I have to do it if it means I can save the future from even more and darker wizards, but it will cost me a lot.''

I never even thought about it that way. To me, it was all about the future of the wizarding world. It never even occurred to me what it might cost for the people close to me. And I find it so altruistic that Ominis would reconnect with his family if it meant saving our future. For a prophecy we might not even live to see happen.

We wake up the next day, freezing to our cores and exhausted after a night of awful sleep. In our best efforts to make the most out of the day, we immediately head out and start looking for Anne's house. We have no information about her exact location, except that it's a small cottage next to the sea.

We quickly realize there are multiple cottages by the shore, a whole lot more than when I last was here about a year ago. But one cottage draws our attention. It has a small garden filled with magical plants as well as a thestral. I almost have to rub my eyes. I have never seen anyone have a pet thestral, but I suppose most people cannot even see them. For some reason I am intrigued and walk closer to get a better look.

The house is tiny, not more than 25 square metres and I notice that the yard must be bigger than the house itself. On the door I read Sallow. It feels as if my heart stops beating for a second. Of course this was Anne's house. The plants are exactly the ones Sebastian started growing this summer. The house even screams 'Sallow'. I tell Ominis that this must be her place.

We walk up to the house and I knock nervously on the door. A face shows up in a small window in the door, looking even more nervous and scared than me. The face quickly alters into confusion. Anne opens the door stands in the doorway.

''Y/n? Ominis?'' Her voice sounds as if she doesn't believe her eyes. ''Why are you here? How did you find me?''

Ominis gives her a big hug. He looks incredibly happy, so does Anne. They both must have been to the same hell and back after what happened last year, but could not even find peace and comfort in each other. They let go and she looks at me.

''I can't believe this.'' She says, admitting that she is doubting whether or not this is actually happening. ''Did Sebastian send you?''

''We sought you out. Sebastian didn't send us.'' I explain to her. ''We found something that we think you might be able to help us with. You wanted to become an auror, right?''

''Oh, yes. Like Uncle Solomon.'' She says and smiles. Her eyes look sad. ''But I don't see how I can help you.''

''We found a prophecy. We think it has something to do with me, or at least my family.'' Ominis says. ''Please, have a look.''

He hands over the prophecy to Anne. She looks full of doubt and hesitates before she looks at it. It takes almost a minute of her processing what she just saw before she opens her mouth.

''Oh, Ominis. I'm so, so sorry.'' She says and takes his hand. ''You're the last person in the world that should have to go through this.''

''What does this mean?'' He asks.

I sit in silence, trying to understand what's going on and if I can grasp whatever it is that Anne saw in the prophecy that we were unable to. Anne gives me a strained face. It is obvious that she doesn't want to tell whatever it is she realized.

''I'm just gonna say it. No sugar coating or anything.'' Anne says. Ominis and I nod simultaneously. ''Someone in your family will give birth to the probably greatest dark wizard we have yet to see.''

We all sit silently, exchanging looks and unsure about what to do with this information.

''Do we need to kill them?'' Ominis asks after a good moment of silence.

''I'm not sure.'' Anne admits as she suddenly starts gasping for air, obviously in pain.

She stands up, walks out the door to her thestral and pets it. She is taking long, deep breaths as she is calming herself.

''Are you getting any better?'' I ask her regarding her curse.

''Not really, but I've learned to live with it.'' She looks sad. ''I just have to ask... How is Sebastian?''

''He's getting better. He has been struggling, but he seems to be on the right track.'' I tell her and smile gently.

''I'm glad to hear.'' She gives me a kind smile. ''You know, he wouldn't stop talking about you. I'm glad he has you in his life. Despite the things he did, I still think he deserves happiness. If he can ever give himself that kind of peace.''

I smile at her, thankful to be in Sebastian's life but sad that they can't be in each other's.

''How have you been?'' Ominis asks her.

''Not too well. He took away my last family. I'm still unsure if I will ever be able to forgive him.'' The tone in her voice is sad, but she still sounds very kind.

''I understand what you mean.'' Ominis says. ''I'm still trying to forgive him, too. It's not an easy thing to do.''

''How do you do it?'' Anne asks him.

''I try to put myself in his shoes. Even though I would never walk the same route as him, I still understand why he wouldn't give up on you.'' Ominis gives her a gentle smile. ''There are many bad people doing good things, every day. He's a good man that did one bad thing. And it's really unfortunate that the price for his mistake would be this high.''

A single tear is running down Anne's cheek. I wipe it away and wrap her in my arms.

''I know he only wanted to help, but I cannot forgive him for taking away Uncle Solomon. I just can't.'' She's struggling to put her words together as she bawls her eyes out.

''You don't have to.'' I try to comfort her, hoping that she can find the peace to forgive him. But I also understand why she can't. At least not now.

''But I want to!'' She's still bawling.

''Then you're going to find it in your heart to do so, when the time is right.'' Ominis says gently. He is really good at comforting. ''But now is not the time. You need to be patient with yourself and your feelings.''

Anne offers us a cup of tea and some pumpkin scones. It is really delicious and filling since we didn't eat any breakfast. We sit at her kitchen table for a couple of hours, talking about life, thestrals and magic plants. As the sun begins to set, we must head back to Hogwarts. I give Anne a big hug and some comforting words. As Ominis tells her goodbye, she takes his hand.

''Ominis.'' She looks into his eyes. ''Don't overthink the prophecy. You know what you have to do.''

He looks just as confused as I feel. Anne quickly finishes her sentence.

''Oh, don't get me wrong. The prophecy will come true if no action is taken. But you will find a way so we don't have to walk down that road.''

[remycroft]

Cross my heart, Hope you die || Heimdall X Reader

Chapter 14 - Imprisoned

She was to die tomorrow. It had been three days since the Einherjar stole her from her bed and transported her to the cells beneath the Great Lodge. I thought that it wouldn't matter, that I could continue on with my duties and not care what happens in the morning. Yet, when I tried to focus, I would go back to her taking that lightning for me, to when we first fought and met, all my memories of her would attack my mind and no matter how hard I fought - the thought of her would stay and my emotions would cloud my head. I didn't understand any of this and I hated it, hated her. She was my enemy, absolutely nothing to me, why is she now haunting my every waking moment?

Surely, it wouldn't matter after tomorrow. She would walk up the stake, she would say her final words, and then she would burn. Her ashes would then spread into the wind that had been causing chaos since she was imprisoned.

In that moment the sound of her screams and the crackling of fire filled my ears. It overwhelmed my senses, and I lost my balance. Why was I like this? I don't care for her. Yes, she was tolerable but nothing particularly special. Was it because she sacrificed herself for me? That was the only answer that made any kind of sense. My life was never in danger (obviously), but the intent to protect me was clear. 

~

It would just be one moment, a singular moment, and then I could go back to my normal life and never think of her again. I reminded myself of the dream where she burned Asgard to a crisp. She can't hurt my home if she's dead.

*~*~*

What have I done to deserve this?

I came here, to enemy territory, because I could not bear the thought of Atreus being here alone. I stayed true to myself no matter what was done. I stuck to my aim and did my best. Before this, I was the loyal daughter to a grieving mother who mistreated her. I did everything that was asked, even if there was protest. Was it my desire for vengeance? Was it my naivety? Was it because I felt emotion and wasn't purely logical, therefore failing as a Goddess? Maybe that was it, I needed to feel less.

If I was mortal I'd curse the Gods. I walk among them, so I will not curse all, just the ones who deserve it. I curse Odin. I curse Thor. I hope they die screaming; I hope they lose everything and are begging for mercy when they're time comes but it is not bestowed. 

I curse Loki. My old friend is a traitorous little brat and I hope he dies in agonising pain. 

~

The Einherjar barely speak, the only time they did was when they told me when I was to be executed. I would die tomorrow. I would be dragged from this dark cell, clasped in chains, and burned at the stake. There would be no escape. All I could do was ensure my head was high. I would not scream either, I will not give them that pleasure. 

I wish I had a single moment where I could return to the dwarves home. I would see my mother and Kratos again. I could apologise to Lunda and Brok for not being able to hold onto my knives and arrows. I could strangle Loki; watch as the light in his eyes fades and relish in the sounds of him choking to death. I suppose I could remove the air from his body, but I'd prefer to use my hands.

~

I had been staring into darkness for hours now. I couldn't really do anything at all. I'm still weak from the lightning, and my healing factor was dormant all together due to the chain. I haven't eaten or drank a thing since I was placed in here, and while I could last longer than normal mortals, I couldn't last forever, and the effects of starvation and dehydration began yesterday (I think). At least I would die tomorrow. 

I was also unable to sleep, whenever my eyes started to flutter and I felt sleep start to take me, the chain would constrict around my ankle, and it would force me awake. It was horrendous and all it did was make my hatred burn even brighter. 

The sound of two arrows flying and the Einherjar dropping caught my attention. I stay as I am. If they're here to kill me, an arrow will be faster than the flames. "I told you to take the poison." The sound of Dagna wakes me up entirely, how the hel did she get here? Why is she here? Does she have a death wish? , "In these circumstances, my lady, I'm quite glad you didn't. I wouldn't be able to save your life otherwise." 

I freeze in shock as she approached my cell door, took out a gem glistening with bifrost, and unlocked the cell door with it. "Why are you -? How?" I ask.

"Don't trouble yourself with that, we need to get to the wall and quickly. My Lord is on his watch and is waiting to send you home to Midgard."

"You're here on his orders?" I was absolutely bewildered. I had thought about being saved in the past. I thought maybe my mother would have found a way to get through to Asgard, would kill Odin, and rescue me. Sometimes, I would think Forseti would try, and then in one moment of desperation, when that mortal instinct to survive kicked in, I did think that maybe Heimdall and I had grown closer, and he would come. I then came to my senses and called it insanity, as this is what it is. 

I slap myself to check I wasn't being delirious. Holy shit, this is actually happening. I might actually live.

Dagna came forward with the gem and as she approached, I flinched. She stepped back slightly. I'm actually a pathetic piece of shit. Oh no, my body is fragile, what a nightmare? It shouldn't mean I should act like this/

She gives me a look of sympathy, "I'm sorry." 

"I don't want your pity." 

"This isn't pity. You did not deserve this."

"At least you believe it. I don't know how long I've been in here for, but I came to think that there must be something."

"Don't be so stupid. This is war. Yet, you do not deserve an execution, you should die fighting for what you believe in." There was a long intense stare between us and I looked for if she was lying at all. It was pointless, she was one of the few here who did not lie. She took my hand as the chain loosened around my ankle and I stood for the first time in who knows long. "You've only been here for three days by the way."

"It felt so much longer."

"That is not surprising, when you are trapped in the dark."

"How am I this fragile then?"

"The chain wasn't inhibiting anything. It was draining your power and your strength. It's used for the strongest of prisoners." 

"I'll take that as a compliment."

She throws a long beige cloak to put on and I do just that. "Odin is gone for the remainder of this day, we have an hour before Thor gets back. Keep your head low and do not speak a word, are we understood?" I drop my head to signal that I did understand. "Good, hopefully we make it out of this alive."

~ 

We begin our walk out of the cells, and I'm blinded by the beginning of the evening's light. The halls were crowded with people, but they were either drunk or in conversation. I had to hand it to Dagna and Heimdall, they chose the best time for a prison break. 

I hated that I couldn't look up. In my peripherals I could see how dusk had truly begun, the sun's light was fading and the bright blue of day was turning to the darker one of night. I'm sure stars were starting to spread across the sky, I wish I could see them.

As we walk through the wind starts to curl around my body, welcoming my presence and renewed control of the element. "The wind has been erratic in your absence. One day we were fighting off tornadoes, and the next it was silent. My Lord said it was the same across all the realms." she whispers. It was mourning for me. I held my free hand out to it, and I felt its cool caress.

"How did the people of New Midgard fare?"

"What did I say about talking?" She scalds. There is a moment of silence, "They were left untouched. You cannot see it due to your hood but the people in Gladsheim have had to repair roofs, walls. Odin has had the most difficult time of anyone, the wind keeps trying to knock him over." I try not to laugh but can't help myself. Dagna looks cross, and then immediately starts bursting with laughter, "it is a very funny thought, but the aftermaths were far from it." I raise my eyebrow, telling her to continue, "He started getting really angry, sometimes civilians would get the brunt of it." I place my spare hand on her shoulder in comfort, she welcomes it.

~

We reach the platform and Dagna takes out the crystal to start the ascent. "What will happen when Odin realises?" I ask, we were up where no one could hear us, I don't need to keep my mouth shut. 

"Something bad, probably. My Lord will probably make it out alive, but me? I'll probably take your place."

"Then why risk yourself?"

"My Lord asked me, how could I say no after all he's done for me? Besides, I'm quite fond of you, I did not want you to die." What if she came with me? She would be out of Odin's reach, she would live. I start to ask the question but we reach the top of the wall and my voice catches in my throat as my senses come to me full force.

The familiar heartbeat, the smell of steel, the steady breathing of Heimdall paralyses me. I turn around and am face to face with the orchestrator of my salvation. "I know, I saved your life, blah blah blah, we do not have all day." Heimdall grabs my hand and my wits return. "I'll run you through what is going to happen; you will stand at the edge of the wall and I will shoot two beams of bifrost around you which should propel you to Midgard. You'll probably be incredibly weak when you arrive so get somewhere safe fast." I don't get a chance to respond as he rushes me towards the edge, he raises his hands to begin. I quickly grab his wrist to stop him, "What are you doing?"

"What about Dagna?" 

"What about her?" 

I resist the desire to slap him, "She'll be executed for this."

"She knew the risk. Now, we are running short on time and I'd prefer this was successful." He forces himself out of my grip with ease.

I won't let Dagna die after all she's done. I put both my hands on his shoulders. "She has been nothing but loyal to you! Send her with me, she'll be safe and won't have to suffer Odin's cruelty!" 

He looks at the girl and I notice her stare of hope, one she was trying to hide. When Heimdall hatched this insane plan she was prepared to be killed with no hesitation, for him, and saw it as incredibly likely she would die. Now, she actually has a chance to live and I'm sure that human instinct for survival has surely kicked in. "I've only done this once, ages ago, as practice. It was with one mortal." He pauses, "I will try, but her going with you risks your life. If you die than this was for nothing."

"If it was ages ago, then you've surely grown in strength." I let go of his shoulders and outstretch my hand to Dagna, she takes it. 

Heimdall spreads his arms and closes his eyes. He flicks his wrists and two glowing beams of bifrost shine like shimmering diamonds in his hands. He turns his palms to face towards and the beams move out of his hands and surround us, leading to a bridge behind us. "Thank you, Heimdall." I say as a goodbye. He snaps his fingers and the beams release from his hands and fully circle us. The bifrost moves towards us and then we are flung back, away from Gladsheim, away from the enemy, away from Heimdall. 

~

I wake up cold. "Dagna?" I sit up on what feels like snow. I pick up the fluffy substance I'm sat on and it was snow. I looked up and saw broken branches with seared ends. We made it. Holy shit, we actually made it. "Dagna?" I hear a groan behind me and see the girl try to sit. I rush over to her and help her up. 

"We made it?" I smile, "Oh my Heimdall, we actually made it." she jumps and hugs me so tight that I feel suffocated.

"Alright, that's enough. My bones are still brittle after that chain." She lets go, "This place is also crawling with monsters so we need to contact my mother as fast as possible." 

"How do we find Frigg - I mean your mother?"

"I'd use Freya in front of her. Frigg was her Aesir name. She's not too fond of it."

She lowers her head in shame, "Of course, forgive me, my lady." 

"Quit it with the titles, I'm [N], your friend. Heimdall can lord over you all he wants but I am not your superior. You knew that the day of Loki's celebration, don't change it now." 

"Of course. I only changed it because I respected you then."

"Respect doesn't mean you need to give me a title." She nods her head.

~

Dagna's bow and arrows had broken in the fall and I unfortunately had my weapons confiscated when I was imprisoned and I don't think Odin will be so kind as to give them back. We were lucky on the walk to Tyr's temple. We encountered few creatures and the wind forced them back to ensure that Dagna and I - still weak from realm travel - would make it safely. 

"MOTHER!" I scream, "I AM ALIVE! PLEASE COME AND FIND ME!" 

A few minutes pass, I hear the beating of wings, and then a sword appears at Dagna's throats, that sword specifically was Mardoll. "Who are you and what are you doing with my daughter?"

*~*~*

I dropped to the floor out of exhaustion the moment they were sent to Midgard. I knew it would weaken me exponentially, but I genuinely believe the mortal should live after all she's done for me. 

A raven appears in front of me, Huginn, the All-father was back. He'd sensed people leaving his realm and came back immediately. Another thing I knew would happen. It was waiting for my consent to be taken, "take me." the bird doesn't hesitate in bringing me. 

~

The moment I land in his office, the All-father traps me in his circular prison. "You know, son, out of all my children I never expected you to be a traitor. Tyr is, Thor listens to his wife too much, and Baldur was a nut job focused on revenge, you were always wanting to prove yourself. What makes one little witch so important to you?" 

"I owed her my life." the All-father laughs, then he slams his spear onto the floor again and I feel the skin along my entire torso separate and I feel the searing pain of cuts re - opening. He proceeds to lift his hand and purple streaks pour out of my head which causes an agonising, throbbing sensation in my head, it felt as if my head was being torn open. 

"To think I was willing to give you a bit of free will, make you loyal to Asgard and not me. I suppose even I can make mistakes." He sighs, what was he taking about? "I didn't think that anyone would actually make you feel indebted to them, I never thought someone would sacrifice themselves for you. I mean, no offence son, but you're a prick. That was the beauty of you." He sets his spear to one side, "From now on, every action you make will be at my command. If I tell you to hold your breath and kill yourself, you will have no choice but to do so." He spits out, his voice was cold and venomous. It made me feel cold, I was scared. He then grabs hold of the purple streaks in my head and tightens them, and I couldn't help but scream. It hurt so much.

The threads went back in my head and the pain immediately stopped. The prison beneath me was gone and my skin had stitched itself back together. I stayed on my knees before the All-father. If he wanted me to stand, I would. So far, being on my knees is what he wanted and therefore I will be on my knees. I live to serve him after all. 

[nieithryn]

Favorite Wild Space Quotes About/By Bail Organa - PART I

Exactly as it says on the tin. Some of these quotes may get lil metas/expanded Thoughts later, because I have been screaming about this novel and Bail & Obi-Wan in particular, but I also just wanna share some beautiful quotes from this beautiful novel by Karen Miller. This is QUITE long, and will probably get SO many extra parts, but I want these for references, because Bail deserves SO MUCH love and is my current brainrot, to be honest.

These are just from the first 13 chapters....absolutely brilliant, Karen Miller wrote this book excellently.

Padmé turned at the sound of Bail Organa’s voice. He was pushing his way toward her through the crowded corridor, collecting stares and rude comments, which he ignored.

“With respect, sir, you’re mistaken. If I have regrets, it’s that we’ve been forced into this war. That in creating our Grand Army of the Republic we’ve turned our backs on a thousand years of peace. On all the Senators who came before us and preserved that peace by steadfastly refusing to give in to their fears."

“Oh yes,” said Palpatine drily. “What a useful recommendation for my candidacy. Likes to drive dangerous machines very fast.” “Well, if you do, Supreme Chancellor, you’re not alone,” said Bail. “I’ve been known to break a speed limit myself, once or twice.”

And what of this lump of a Senator, this dull, worthy Bail? He’s married, but his barren wife remains distant on Alderaan. He’s an honorable dolt; he would never betray her. Yet he has feelings for Naboo’s brave little former Queen. Respect and admiration are a dangerous mix. These Senators work closely together, and that can make for fertile ground.

“We don’t have a choice, Padmé,” said Organa. He was still holding her hand. Realizing that, she pulled herself free. “You like this idea? You’re comfortable with it?” “Of course not. I hate it,” he said fiercely. And then he pointed through the trans-shield. “But I hate that more. It’s the lesser of two evils, Senator. Just like the formation of the Republic’s Grand Army, or making deals with the Hutts. It’s the lesser of two evils … and to save lives, we’ll have to live with it.”

Weary beyond even groaning aloud, Bail Organa returned from the Senate to the empty solace of his apartment. Voiceprint and a retinal scan verified his identity: the outer door slid open, and as he stepped across the threshold into the apartment’s foyer the lighting came on.

Bail felt his heart thud, looking at her beautiful hologram face. “Don’t worry, B, nothing’s wrong,” she said, her image flickering, losing its cohesion. Ion storms somewhere between Alderaan and Coruscant; they always played havoc with galactic communications. “I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you. I was watching the HoloNet feed from the Senate. You look tired. Are you getting enough sleep? I’ll bet you’re not. Go to bed, hotshot. I’ll try to catch you tomorrow.”

Why was it they were the only two members of the Security Committee who seemed capable of reaching a decision quickly? The rest of the committee appeared paralyzed. The whole kriffing Senate was paralyzed, as though the Separatists’ success had infected the entire government with inertia.

I’ve a good mind to leave them to their whining and fly home to Breha.

Glass in hand, brandy-warmth lingering, he set the bottle on a side table and sank into his favorite chair. He wanted to call Breha, to lose himself in her soft voice and heal his hurts with her smile. But it was mid-morning on Alderaan and she’d be in the Legislate, taking care of their people. Without her, he could never have remained on Coruscant. The welfare of Alderaan was cradled in her hands. And the welfare of the Republic is cradled in mine.

Something’s scared him. Something big. Which hardly left her feeling sanguine. Bail Organa was a courageous, capable man. If he was unsettled—and he was unsettled, she’d seen the turmoil in his eyes—then it could only mean more trouble for Coruscant. Or for somewhere else in the Republic.

“Forgive me,” Bail said upon his arrival. “I didn’t know where else to turn.” As always, he presented an immaculate face to the world. Perfectly groomed, conservatively attired, elegance personified. But they’d worked together for a good while now, and she could see beneath his polished surface. She hadn’t been mistaken about him during their brief vidcom conversation: he was alarmed.

As though sitting was intolerable, he pushed to his feet and began to roam between the sofa and the window. “Of course, it’s possible the Jedi already know about this. But if they don’t—if they are in danger and don’t realize it—” He pressed a fist against his lips, as though fighting to hold back an intemperate outburst. It was so unlike him, such an outward expression of an inner agitation. “Padmé,” he said, and swung about to face her. “Have you ever heard of the Sith?”

"He’s a good man, Obi-Wan. He loves the Republic. He works as hard as any Jedi to see it kept safe.” There was the faintest derision in Obi-Wan’s clear blue eyes. “He’s a politician, Padmé.”

“But for what little it’s worth, Obi-Wan … I do know him well enough to promise he doesn’t scare easily. And he’s not a gullible fool, either, to fall for any old story.”

Organa’s brief smile was grim. “It was handled at the highest diplomatic levels, with the utmost discretion. If the details had leaked, we’d still be mopping up the political fallout today.” Really? Well, that certainly confirmed what the Jedi knew of Organa’s credentials and influence.

“These are dark times, it’s true, but some friends remain friends until the end. I believe Bail is one of them.”

Extraordinary. “You are taking an amazing leap of faith, Senator. And now you’re asking me to leap with you.” “Don’t you think I know that?” Organa demanded. “But given what they know, what they’ve managed to learn, is it any wonder they guard their identities so jealously? Is it fair to blame them for protecting themselves the only way they know how?” No, it wasn’t fair. And there was nothing but truth in Bail Organa’s passionate defense of them. Alderaan’s Senator believed every word he said. But was that enough?

“Calm down?” he echoed. “No. I’m angry, Padmé. Why aren’t you? What else is going on that they haven’t told us? What do they know that you and I should know, as representatives of the people and members of the Security Committee? That Palpatine should know, as the Republic’s duly elected Supreme Chancellor? Don’t you see what’s happening here? As hard as it may be to believe, the Jedi have placed themselves above the rule of law.”

He was so tall, so imposing, and she was so small in contrast. But only physically.

He looked down at her, clearly torn between resentment and contrition. “How is it you contrive to put me in the wrong when I know I have a legitimate grievance?” She smiled at him, fleeting mischief banishing the last of her temper. “It’s a gift.” “Ha,” he said, his anger evaporating. “One woman’s gift is another man’s curse.” He shrugged. “What can I say, Padmé? I’m afraid.” “If it helps,” she said, her eyes full of sympathy, “you’re not the only one.”

Organa turned. “Master Kenobi.” His expression shifted from warm apology to a cooler, more distant regret. “Forgive me. I was intemperate. And I should heed my own advice. Only by working together—trusting each other—can we hope to win this war. The Jedi may have their own way of doing things, often difficult to fathom by outsiders, but nobody is making a greater sacrifice for the Republic. I know that.”

Tell me again why I wanted to be a Senator? It was approaching midnight before he finally escaped. Exhausted, punch-drunk, he almost staggered through his front door. Too tired even for the restorative consolation of Corellian brandy, he bumped his way to the bedroom and fell face-first across the bed. Even his capillaries were aching.

“Sit down.” Obi-Wan stared at him. The man is distraught, exhausted, and a senior government official. Master Yoda needs no more trouble tonight. He sat, very slowly. “Senator.” Organa pressed his palms flat to his face. Took a deep, shuddering breath. Exhaled it sharply. “I’m sorry, Master Kenobi,” he said, his voice muffled, then lowered his hands. “That was uncalled for. Tell me, what were you able to find out about Zigoola?”

“Really,” Obi-Wan said, letting a little of his impatience show. “In the event that I become incapacitated, are you saying you can strip down a malfunctioning hyperdrive unit, correctly identify the problem, replace its faulty components, or improvise new ones, and reassemble it to full performance capacity?” Organa grinned. “A standard LT-five unit? Yes. Did it last week, as a matter of fact. It’s good relaxation, and I like to keep my hand in. Timed myself, just for the fun of it. Thirty-eight minutes. How about you?” Thirty-eight minutes? That was three minutes faster than his own best time. How aggravating. “I am mechanically proficient.”

Organa folded his arms, his expression settling into stubborn lines. “I already believe you. But my life is sworn to the safeguarding of this Republic, just like yours. I’ve got as much right to risk myself as you do. If anything, it’s my duty to pursue this matter.”

“Well?” said Organa, strolling into the living area. “Do I pack myself a spare shirt, or don’t I?” His tone was amused, his manner unconcerned—at least on the surface. Beneath it, however, trepidation and doubt churned.

“Breha is not the public,” said Organa, his voice chilling. “She’s the head of the Alderaan government. And it’s her cousin who’s died. They grew up together. They’re more like brother and sister. I don’t want her finding out from a HoloNet news bulletin or in some impersonal Senate communiqué. I want her to hear it from me.” Obi-Wan looked at Organa, torn between bemusement and irritation. “Since you’re clearly determined to tell her, Senator, I don’t see why you’re bothering to ask my opinion.” “Neither do I,” said Organa, and linked through to his wife.

Organa frowned. “Okay. So is this how it’s going to be? Me making sensible suggestions, and you kicking against them just because you can? Master Kenobi, I’m bored already. Take the kriffing drugs.”

[nicolewoo]

Cub Part 12: Heat

Pairing: Roman Reigns X Reader

Synopsis: Roman, Seth and Dean are a pack of werewolfs. Protecting their city from the scumbags of the world ends up with a surprise when a victim left for dead imprints on Roman Reigns.

Part 12: Heat

I could never put into words how much I appreciated all the help I’d had. The medical team had become experts at putting me to sleep until I was done changing. The last two days, I’d slept through every change.

In human form? Every muscle and fiber in me hurt, and not just when I was morphing. My body HATED changing. I could barely move in human form. Nobody knew why we healed in wolf form faster than in human. Even sitting still, muscles would spasm and ligaments would move on their own. It was indeed torture. This is why the tribe had forbidden making new wolves. They were right to. I wouldn’t have wished this on my worst enemy. That said, it was still worth it for the life I was about to have. One look at my pack, my family, my tribe, MY MATE was all it took to steel my resolve. I spent most of my time tucked under a blanket on the couch, the bed or the porch.

My least favorite part of the day wasn’t even turning… I got to sleep through that. My least favorite was Physical Therapy time, and Physical Therapy time happened every hour. Massages, ice packs, heating pads, stretching, moving…. They did anything and everything they could to help my body adjust, but it hurt…. Everything they did hurt. I just kept telling myself that it was the price I paid for the life I wanted.

I woke on Day 3 feeling much better. Yes, I was sore, but it wasn’t bad enough to keep me down. I could stand, walk, stretch. Even Physical Therapy time was good…. Not great, but not near as painful.

When I announced over breakfast that I was ready to fly to Samoa, I was met with surprised faces. Everyone assured me that I didn’t need to rush my recovery, but I wanted to get the whole thing done and over. If the imprinting could be proven, I wanted it proven, and I wanted my mate to be out of trouble.

“I’ll either convalesce here on the couch or on a plane. So, let’s just do it.” I said as I looked at my new tribe.

Roman took my hand, “Are you sure?”

“If we can prove we are imprinted,” I was interrupted by a huff from Sika that I ignored. “I want to get it done. I don’t want you in trouble. It will be a huge weight off my shoulders.”

Seeing the resolve in my eyes Roman agreed. “Ok then. Let’s get it done.” He had no sooner said that then the family jumped into action.

“Fia, call the airport. Have a charter flight booked ASAP, and make sure there’s a bedroom on the plane.” Sika directed. Fia picked up her phone and went to a quieter room to handle everything. As she did, Sika hastily finished his food and got up, calling the tribal leaders as he set his plate in the sink. The cabin became a hive of activity again. Naomi, who seemed to have become my personal assistant because we got along so well, started packing for me while Seth and Shay called the medical team together to discuss how to make the flight as comfortable as possible for me.

“I wish you’d wait another day. You’re going to feel so much better tomorrow.” Shay said, making sure I was ready.

“Shay, let’s get this done with. Not to mention, I’m so excited to get started with my new life.” I replied and she patted my hand in understanding. “Ok hun. I’ll call the hospital and arrange for your pack to be off work.” She exited hastily as she went to join the medical team.

Everyone was up from breakfast now, running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I was left at the table with just Roman. People buzzed around us, all caught up with preparing for the trip.

“We’ve gotta go home and pack for the trip.” Roman said referring to my pack. “I’d prefer you stay here for safety. Are you going to be ok?” His thumb lazily caressed my hand as he held it.

I laughed as I looked around. We were surrounded by family that catered to my every whim. Honestly, I was looking forward to some quiet. “I think I’ll be well taken care of.”

He chuckled. “Ok, after the medical team meets, your brothers and I will head into the city to pack. Then we’ll be back. Do you need anything while we’re in town?” In truth, the pack had forgotten to order some things like a razor for me. I gave Ro my list before he left.

When the medical team emerged from their meeting, I noticed Dean was upset. He came straight to me. “Cub, I’m sorry, but I can’t go to Samoa with you. There’s a wolf scheduled for a surgery in two days. I have to stay to sedate him.” He took my hands in his. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok Dean. I understand.” I pressed my forehead to his and tried to talk through our link. “Damnit!” I said when I failed.

He laughed. “You’ll learn, Cub. I just wish I could be there with you to help.”

“Ro and Seth will take great care of me.” As I said that, Shay approached, her face as somber as Dean’s had been.

“I can’t make it either Cub. Nobody can cover my shifts.” She said. I don’t know who I was more upset about staying. Dean was my brother, and my pack-mate. I would miss him terribly, but Shay had become a trusted friend and invaluable help over the past few days.

“I understand.” I answered.

“You make sure these boys are taking good care of you. If not, call me.” She joked.

 The flight was booked for 10 pm from Anchorage, Alaska. All totally, about 15 of us were making the trip. I thought that was amazing given the sudden notice.

We all piled into the lush private jet. I had seen some private planes… usually just used to ferry people and supplies from the mainland to Alaska…. Just a necessity. This was a whole different thing. The jet was huge, and luxuriously comfortable with work areas, lounging seats, oversized leather furniture…. It was by far the most amazing plane I’d ever seen… much less been in.

 Roman’s POV:

Y/N wanted to draw, so Seth and I started playing a game. I was kicking his ass, like always. A couple of teenagers gathered by us, hoping for a chance to play. The whole plane had gone quiet as people started to fall asleep.

Her sudden gasp caught my attention, and as I turned to see what was wrong, the scent reached me. My mate was ready. Ready for me. Ready to mate. She was in heat. Dropping the game controller, I went to her side. “Are you ok?” I asked.

She inhaled sharply, “I…. I need you…. I need…” I wrapped my arms around her.

“Cub, we can’t. You’re still in too much pain.” I said, but she was shaking her head no before I even finished the sentence.  

“I can’t wait.” She licked her lips, which made it harder to resist her. The longing in her eyes, the way her fingers dug into my back, the soft mewling noises she made….I knew she was in pain, but it was near impossible to resist her. “I need you so bad it hurts.”

“Cub, you’re not ready,” Seth chimed in, but she ignored him.

“Now, please.” She begged, and that’s all it took for me to lose my resolve. I kissed her. This was a hard, repressed kiss. A kiss that had waited and wished and wanted since I laid eyes on her. Through our link, I could feel the desperate need she had. It really was painful, but I could fix it. I would fix it. I would satisfy her desires, and I’d do it now… days before anyone thought she’d be ready.

I faintly heard my dad say “Seth, take them to the bedroom… NOW.”

Seth was next to me suddenly, hand on my arm. “C’mon Ro.” He started leading me back without even waiting for us to stop kissing. Each step we took was one step closer to relief, to joy, to love.

“I just want to remind you two that we have no idea how well Cub is healing inside.” Seth said as he opened the door.

“I’ll be careful.” I said as I placed my hand on her cheek and looked in her eyes.

“I just don’t want to have to open her up and fix….”  Seth said.

He’d overstayed his welcome already, and I barked “Seth, GET OUT!” That was all it took. He left us alone, closing the door behind him.

We crashed together like 2 puzzle pieces, my hard edges fitting against her soft curves, and now that we were together, I never wanted to be apart. Fiery passionate kisses were interrupted only long enough for pieces of clothing to come off.

I had thought that I was strong enough to be careful, be romantic, be comforting to her. Instead, the second I smelled her heat, instincts kicked in, and I couldn’t resist her….. Couldn’t resist kissing, touching, grabbing…. This was passion. Whole, total, powerful passion, and it was devouring us whole.

My sweet little Cub was just as desperate for me as I was for her, and when I sat down on the edge of the bed, she straddled my lap, which surprised me. I slid my hands up her sides to her breasts, taking them into my fingers and rolling the stiff peaks, but she was rocking her pussy against my cock, and I couldn’t resist. I trailed one hand down her body and between her legs to check if she was wet enough for me. Her fingers dug into my back as my finger slid effortlessly over her slick ribbbon. Without meaning to, a combination of a sigh and a growl slipped past my lips.

She answered with her own growl and took a deep breath as she raised up. I barely had time to grab my dick to aim it before she began lowering herself down on me slowly; much too slowly, but as she did, it felt like an invisible wall between our brains was coming down. We were one mind now; one person in two bodies.

By the time I was fully inside her, we were both smiling with pure joy. I pressed my forehead to hers as we both explored this new connection between us. Every thought she had, I heard. Every feeling she felt, I felt. Every sensation she had, I could feel, and she felt the same for me. Finally, I was complete. I hadn’t realized I wasn’t whole before, but as the last of the barrier between us fell, a sense of fullness filled me.

We sat like that for a minute, smiling like idiots and full of joy. I was whole. She was whole. We were whole, and it felt amazing. I tried to drink in everything, but her need started weighing on us, setting my wolf on fire.

I wrapped my hands around her hips, thrusting deep inside her again. She moaned long and low when I was buried deep inside her. She was so wet, so warm, her incredibly tight core clenching around me.

I tried to go slow, but she couldn’t control herself. She began rocking back and forth faster than I would have, and I noticed how bad her legs were hurting with each move. I could handle both problems the same way. I picked her up and turned her over while staying buried in her.  

“Rest.” I thought to her, and I felt how bad her need was.  I nodded to her. “I understand.” I said.

I sheathed myself deep inside her in one long stroke, and as I bottomed out, I heard her sigh. Her hands grabbed onto my arms, fingers digging into my flesh as if holding onto me for dear life. I thrust again, this time she moaned low; the sound was pure seduction, and my wolf roared to life. MATE! MATE!! MATE!!! MATE!!!!

I panicked. I needed to be careful with her. I needed to ensure I didn’t hurt her any more than what she was already feeling. I tried to control him, but as she slowly lost control of her wolf, I lost control of mine too. Our minds wrapped around each other as our wolves took over our bodies; need overriding everything else.  Hard, fast, fiery, passionate. There was no controlling our lust. This was mating…. Not making love… not fucking… pure mating.

I grabbed her leg, sliding it over my shoulder to get deeper inside her. As I thrust, her fingernails started digging into my arms now. Her noises turned primal. Grunts, screams, cries, growls. I could hear my wolf growling back with joy. I wrapped my mind around hers and we surrendered to our wolves; merely passengers on this ride.

As she neared her release, I could feel her core clenching faster and tighter around me. We both released at the same time, a feeling of pure euphoria overcoming us. Releasing her leg, I leaned in to kiss her.

My wolf was sated for now, as was hers. Pressing my forehead to hers, I gently nuzzled her nose with mine. Through our link, I could feel the happiness that brought her. I pulled out of her and laid next to her. “Come here.”

She laid on my chest, her fingers tracing my muscles as we recovered. We were both blissfully happy. A happiness I didn’t know even existed. Yes, we were heading to the tribal council. Yes, I could end up in tribal jail, but those things didn’t matter now. All that mattered was her. All that mattered was in this room. Our worries were no match for the ecstasy we felt.

@mindofasagitarius   @lclb13 @serenityfiretrash @lustyromantic @reigns-5sos @bigpsychicbagelauthor @omg-im-such-a-masochist @marlananicole @wickedsunfire @starwithaheart @spookys-girl @pitlissa22

[louis-in-red]

🚨🚨🚨 new ask game alert 🚨🚨🚨

drop your favorite lyric from each fitf song and let us see if you have taste or not!

and tag whoever you want to do the same!

hiiiiii

ok here we go:

The Greatest

'Cause nothing gets through here Through that circle 'round my heart Where the best of me should start

WAOYF

When we're finished saying nothing Can we please get back to loving? When it's good, it's really something Can we please get back to us?

Bigger Than Me

Do you ever ask why? It's not black and white How you sleep at night when you're just like me

Lucky Again

You give and give until it's gone away Just tell yourself you've got another day

Face The Music

Love and hate are in-between Depends on your reality to see them

Chicago

They say bitter ends turn sweet in time Is that true of yours and mine?

Just because it didn't work doesn't mean it's meaningless to me It just wasn't meant to be

All This Time

And I keep on building mountains hoping that they'll turn to gold But the truth is, I still doubt that what I do can get me home

Out Of My System

Demons, I'm takin' all of my demons Putting them where I won't see them 'Cause I just wanna feel alive

Headline

So fast to judge in error, you thought you knew me better So quick to kill forever

I guess I never knew we'd have the shortest forever I thought I could, but I can't forget you

Saturdays

Somethin' about the way The light catches the mirror in my brain It gives me shade I'm starin' at the door Somebody's got your trainers on The ones that you wore But you're not here anymore

Silver Tongues

You said love was a pretty lie And I choked when your smoke got in my eye Bad logic and empty cans

SIBWAWC

Escape the inevitable Fade into light Soak up the empathy 'Cause I'm with you tonight Are we one or are we two? Are we me or are we you? Have we been all this before? Do you see what I see?

Common People

All the late nights, good times The mistakes and the heartbreaks When I get lost, I go Back to where I started

Angels Fly

Look at the horizon Does it make you feel small? Put the pain behind you now You don't need it anymore

You'll be okay, we can talk tomorrow I'm on my way with some time to borrow If every star is an eye in the sky You'll see angels fly

Holding On To Heartache

You know the party's over When you're standin' in an empty space alone And time can always heal you If you let it make its way into your bones Nothing's ever easy To be honest, I'm not easy on myself The second that I see you The space between us just comes floodin' back

That's The Way Love Goes

When it cuts you, when you bleed That's when you're feelin' it the most That's the way, that's the way love goes

wowww... this ask made me so emotional :( FITF is a perfect album! no skips :( and the lyrics... some are just making me ugly cry :( LOUIS WHAT THE FUCK

tagging @berlinini @faithinlouisfuture @polaroidplanets @slvertongues @stitchtangles @sheisbeautyweareworldass <3 no pressure tho and ignore if you want :P

[kindofabisexualdisaster]

[hello! So, I’d been out of writing fanfiction for a LONG time. But! I’ve recently fallen in love with ‘The Owl House’ and it’s reignited my desire to write fanfiction! So, here is what is my first post on AO3 (I’m a Fanfiction.net survivor), since I decided to share it here as well since Tumblr’s getting a bit of a revival! Message me if you have any queries or wanna chat about it! Or, if you wanna read more, I’ll be posting more of this on here in the coming weeks, but on AO3 it is up to Chapter 35, so if you want the link to that, feel free to message and ask! Many thanks!]

The taste of iron was overwhelming Luz’s taste buds as the wind whipped through her hair. But, the sensation was very much so dwarfed by the open gash on her chest that was currently holding a steady flow of crimson dripping to the ground below.

At that moment, Eda was in Harpy form, and was holding Luz aloft while flying at top speed into the deepest parts of Bonesborough

“Ya know, it’d kinda be anticlimactic if something like this were to be the thing that takes me out. I really would’ve preferred if it was in a huge battle with the big ol’ evil mastermind, Belos,” the teen managed, before falling into a fit of coughs that splattered more blood into the winds.

“That’s right kid, that’s why you gotta stay with me until we get you to the Healers,” Eda said, forcing out the phrase, holding back the deluge of tears that was threatening to break through,” You can’t let your story end like this. You know I taught you better than that!”

Luz let out a frayed chuckle at that, and muttered,”Aww come on, Eda. Can’t you tell? I’m feeling better already. Might even run a marathon tomor-“

Luz was cut short for a hacking fit, spraying blood all over the harpy’s feathered chest, sending Eda into a more frenzied flight pattern.

“Hey, hey, kid, it’s okay! Take it easy and just focus on breathing. We’re gonna get you fixed up, and tell ya what: If you can run one tomorrow I’ll get up and run it with ya. No wings or anything!” Eda said, her voice filled with cracks.

Luz went silent for a moment, before she started to shake, and the tears broke through.

“Eda I’m not ready to go… I have so much I need to do… So many people I-“

Comfort the Owlet- preen the Owlet.

The Harpy’s thoughts in her head made Eda pull back the sweat-matted hair from in front of Luz’s face, and gingerly cup her cheek, “Luz, LUZ! You’re not going anywhere kid. They’re gonna fix you all up and we’ll be home for pancakes with King in the morning! I promise!”

Luz cracked out what looked to be a hopeful smile, before her eyes glazed over, and rolled into the back of her head, and her body began to seize.

“SHIT!” The harpy exclaimed, loud enough to wake half the town.

Eda steeled her resolve at this, and dove into a deep dive to pick up her speed, and somehow maneuvered her way through the streets, holding to this speed as if her life depended on it.

Well, not her life.

She carried that speed into the lobby of a larger building- not even stopping outside. Once through the tall open doors, she stopped herself with a powerful backward thrust of her wings, and immediately screamed for all the help she could get, laying the still seizing body of her apprentice on the ground, and cradling her head.

It was mere seconds before she had been swarmed with at least 6 healers, all getting Luz onto a gurney, and getting her vitals. They rattled off important question after important question- but Eda silenced them all when she looked at them and told them Luz was human.

They all stared at her, then at Luz, then to each other with shock on their faces. Then, a familiar face stepped between Eda and Luz.

It was a large, slate grey looking humanoid, with two ragged looking horns adorning his forehead. He wore small, wire-rimmed glasses, and had a deathly-serious expression on his face.

“Edalyn- has your apprentice ever had healing Magic conducted on her? She’s HUMAN! Hells, we don’t know what it could do to the poor girl. We certainly don’t have any human blood to transfuse, and at this point, I don’t know if we could d-“

“Trill, you better not be getting ready to tell me you’re going to do nothing, and just let her die,” Eda growled, her words dripping with the deadliest of venom.

“No, Eda. But…. If we are going to try anything that MIGHT have a chance to save her, it would have to be through healing magic- and STRONG magic,” the demon said, meeting Eda’s eyes with the same intensity,” So you need to make a call. You are her mentor, and guardian. Are you giving us permission to attempt large scale healing magic on your apprentice?”

Eda’s expression met Trill’s, and then it absolutely shattered to one of panic- which….. oddly disturbed Trill much more.

“Trill, I don’t KNOW. What if the Magic just slowly kills h-“

Eda was interrupted by another, more severe fit of seizures from her apprentice on the gurney.

“Eda, I need an answer. NOW!”

Eda froze like a deer in headlights, as she watched Luz’s convulsing body. She was snapped out of it when Trill literally smacked her across the face and directed her face back to himself.

“EDA, NOW! YES OR NO?” Trill demanded, holding her by the shoulders.

“YES!” She shrieked,” DO ANYTHING YOU FUCKING NEED TO!”

Trill nodded, a fire burning behind his eyes.

“We will do everything in our power to bring her back to you,” he promised, before nodding to the team to take her to the back. He pointed to one of the team members in particular and commanded,” Get the ArchMage, this is the highest priority. NOW.”

Trill followed up to the door as the team pushed Luz’s convulsing body through, and only looked back at Eda before passing through the door to offer a determined nod.

Eda nodded back, and then paused a moment, before fully collapsing, and succumbing to the breakdown that had been fighting to burst through. The administrators only watched as her large, bloodied, harpy form was wracked with sobs and wails as she laid in fetal position on the cold, unforgiving floor…

[dreamy625]

This rockstar life - 3.14 Communication breakdown

Words: 2357

Content: I don’t believe it, actual plot! Angst, drinking, mention of drugs but no drug-taking.

-----------------------------

“Oh god. Is he all right?”

“That was two days ago! Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

“Well fat lot of good that’ll do, they never do anything.”

“But he’s stable now? And talking and everything?”

“Thank god. So what…”

“Has he agreed to go?”

“Then no, you can’t send him against his will.”

“No I can’t. And I won’t. He’s an actual adult and he gets to make decisions about his life. Even though he is spectacularly bad at it.”

“Well I would be all for it if I had any hope that it would work. But it never does, does it. In fact, it makes him worse. You know he’ll just go on a massive binge the minute they let him out.”

“That’s a twelve step thing isn’t it? That’s even more useless.”

“Look, I know you Americans don’t understand this, but Steve, like most English people, believes in god about as much as he believes in the tooth fairy. So anything that relies on the intervention of a higher power is hopeless. The nearest thing he’s got to a higher power is Jimmy Page. And he’s a heroin addict.”

“Still no. Not unless he agrees to it.”

“I just feel like you want to put him somewhere so he’s not your responsibility, but that’s not what he needs. None of those places ever deal with the real problem.”

“Yes but that’s just temporary. The alcohol isn’t the problem, or not the… core problem. Drinking is the coping mechanism… the medicine for whatever is really wrong with him.”

“I don’t know, I’m not a bloody psychiatrist. And neither are you.”

“I am not being hostile. Look, the only person who’s ever done any good was the counsellor at Highcliffe. Maybe we can get him booked in there? Just as an outpatient. Unless he says otherwise.”

“Fine. I’ll deal with it. As you say, I am indeed very familiar with that institution.”

“I’m sorry Peter, but you’ve been packing him off to hospitals and treatment centres and holistic healing whatnots for at least five years now and it hasn’t done the slightest bit of good. So maybe just… leave him be.”

“Okay, then I’ll come over and get him. Will the hospital keep him in until tomorrow?”

“Right. Can you at least book me a plane ticket? And two to come back again.”

-----------------------------

Steve was almost entirely silent on the way from the hospital to the apartment, to pick up his stuff as packed by the devoted Malvin. He looked like shit, ghostly pale under four days of beard growth, with shaking hands, which I hadn’t seen since his first days in the clinic nearly two years ago. We were in the second cab, nearly at the airport, when he finally spoke:

“Are we really going home?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Mensch said… I have to go… to another…”

“I said he couldn’t send you anywhere unless you wanted to go.”

“You stood up to Mensch?”

“I guess I did.”

“You’re fierce when you need to be.” He managed a lacklustre smile before lapsing into blank silence again.

He trailed along behind me as if half-asleep as we navigated check-in, where I wrote a ridiculously large cheque to get many-times the standard baggage allowance, including three guitars, accepted by the harried clerk, got through Security, and found the right gate. I don’t know if there was some kind of VIP channel we could have gone through, Q Prime had just booked us business class tickets on a regular Heathrow shuttle flight and it hadn’t occurred to me to ask if there were usually special arrangements for transporting rockstars. Through the whole process I was afraid that someone would take a close look at Steve and decide that he couldn’t be allowed to fly in that state, but apparently shambling, glassy-eyed Englishmen are not that noteworthy and no one said anything. Finally we boarded and as I sat down my legs felt as wobbly as if I had climbed a mountain over the last twenty-four hours. As the plane taxied, I looked across at Steve and saw that there were tears trickling down his cheeks. As soon as the seatbelt light went off he clambered as much onto my lap as the armrest would allow and we clung together for the entirety of the short flight. 

By the time we’d got off the plane, waited for all the luggage, found a cab, and made it back to Chelsea it was almost ten o’clock. Once we got inside I just left all the bags in a heap in the hall and propelled Steve up the stairs to our bedroom. He just stood there, docile as a sleepy child, as I pulled off his clothes and pushed him under the shower. Concentrating on getting him warm, and ridding him of the hospital smell, I left the tangled hair. A problem for another day. It was only a few weeks since I’d seen him last, but he was noticeably thinner, every bump of his spine distinct under my hands as I soaped his back. I kept my head angled down so he wouldn’t see the distress in my face. Out of the shower and dried off, I wrapped him in one of the fluffy robes left from the Hysteria tour and he ambled into the bedroom while I quickly wiped the smudgy remains of make-up from my eyes and dragged a comb through my own hair. The person in the mirror looked like she’d fled from a warzone. 

“You should eat something. Are you hungry?”

He made a face.

“Soup?”

Another face and shake of the head.

“Well… tea then?”

“Okay.”

He drank the tea, and ate a couple of bites of the toast I’d optimistically brought with it before pulling off the robe and burrowing under the covers. I climbed in beside him and switched off the lamp. He was curled into a ball but unravelled enough at my touch that I could spoon him, and he held tightly onto my hand. After a little while, his grip loosened and I thought he was falling asleep, but then he murmured, oh so quietly, 

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“I know baby, I know. We’ll sort it.”

Even though I’d been awake for about 40 hours by then, I couldn’t sleep and just lay there listening to his too-fast, too-shallow breathing, thinking about whether the ‘this’ he couldn’t do anymore meant the band, or… everything. He’d been relatively stable, with some ups and downs, yes, but nothing life-threatening, for so long that I’d convinced myself he was fine. For a given definition of fine. And a given definition of convinced. If I’m honest, I think I was just refusing to see that everything - him, me, us - had been getting worse since that horrible Christmas, because I didn’t know what to do about it. I do not feel grown-up enough to deal with this. Eventually I must have drifted off, to be woken again just as it was getting light by Steve twitching and moaning in his sleep. I made soothing noises and stroked his shoulder until the dream passed, and then he seemed to be sleeping more naturally, with slower breathing. 

When I wake up again, it’s to bright sunlight coming through half-drawn curtains and an odd smell. As I reluctantly blink open my gritty-feeling eyelids, I see Steve next to me eating a banana and drinking orange juice. He looks, well, still bad, but less awful than yesterday. 

“Hey. Feeling better?”

“Sort of. Not feeling sick anymore at least.”

The banana smell is making me nauseous, but I keep that to myself. He needs to eat and I don’t want him to stop on my account. His skin, though still pale, has lost the deathly grey tinge, and his hands are steady holding the glass. Which probably means… 

“Is there vodka in that?”

His face couldn’t hide anything if he tried. “A bit.” he admits.

“Maintenance dose huh?” 

He nods. 

I haul myself upright. “Well I need my fix too. Of coffee. Want some?”

He shakes his head.

“And then, will you be up to talking?”

He nods again.

“In actual words?”

Smiling, he makes the hand gesture for maybe.

When I get back with the pot of coffee (I had remembered that he doesn’t want any, but today I think I’m going to need the whole thing for myself!), he’s snuggled down again, duvet pulled up to his nose. Being July, it’s not exactly cold, but maybe he feels safer that way. Quickly I gulp down a cup of the magic caffeine potion and slip down beside him. It’s so tempting to just… not. Not start the conversation, just pretend that everything is fine now. He looks so sweet and vulnerable, and even relatively healthy in the golden sunlight, and the relief of getting him back makes me want to just hold onto him as tight as possible, keep him here and never let the world touch him again. But that would only last until the next phonecall from Peter. So, we talk. Quietly. Gently. Lots of pauses for thinking. Some crying, mostly me. Cigarette breaks, mostly Steve. Almost like proper functional adults. Eventually he drops off to sleep again, and I won’t wake him because he really needs to rest, but it doesn’t matter because by then we’ve got the outline of a plan. Or if not a plan, at least the acceptance of what needs to happen. Now we just have to be strong enough to stick with it. 

-----------------------------

“I can’t. I just can’t.”

A week later, both still hiding under the duvet long after the alarm clock has rung, Steve is besieged by anxiety and second thoughts. I’m trying to be supportive, but it really is a life-changing decision. And one which only he can take and only he can enact. And to be honest I’m almost as terrified as he is. The band, and everything that goes with it, is a major source of the pressure that crushes him, but also it gives him structure and purpose, and it’s been his whole life since he was eighteen. I don’t know what he’ll do, who he’ll be, without it. After talking to Phil yesterday, today is the day he’s supposed to tell the rest of the guys. And then Peter and Cliff. And to say he’s dreading it would be an understatement. I think this is the worst I’ve ever seen him. He drank almost an entire bottle of vodka last night, no pretence of it being a sociable activity, barely even bothering to dilute it, just a grim, deliberate, unstoppable emptying of the bottle to get as far away from reality as possible. He was itching for some coke as well, but he’s out of practice with that and fortunately the only contact he still has in London wasn’t answering the phone. Anyway, the booze was enough and he eventually passed out on the sofa about 1am. I did the whole recovery-position - blanket - bucket procedure, and resigned myself to a sleepless night keeping watch over him, prodding him periodically and making sure I at least got a grunt in response. A little after 3am he woke up, threw up, and then I was able to half-drag him up to bed, using all the pillows to prop him on his side once again, where he snored like a warthog for the next four hours until the alarm went off. 

Now, I think he’s gone through dread and out the other side into a kind of blank paralysis. Not hungover (I guess he probably puked half the bottle back up), but white as a sheet and huge eyes staring at nothing in the darkness under the quilt. There’s nothing I can say or do that would make it better. It’s definitely one of those ‘the only way out is through’ situations, but I’m not sure that’s a helpful observation to make when the ‘out’ part is a scary unknown future that you don’t necessarily want either. The car’s coming in an hour for the flight at noon. Phil’s going to meet us at the airport and go to the studio with him. I’ll wait at the hotel until after the meeting and the call to Q Prime in the States; this is definitely a band-only thing, and I do not want to be Yoko. Phil’s going to ring me when it’s all done and then, well there is no real plan for then. It depends how it went, what state he’s in. I can’t think about it now. It’s too much.

-----------------------------

Captain’s log supplemental - we’re all having dinner at Joe’s house. I think. I hope. It went okay? 

They are making jokes, all at Steve’s expense, pretending to forget his name and saying ‘you still here?’ every time he walks into a room. But it seems good natured, no barbs, and I know this is how boys, these boys anyway, show affection. Joe, when he thinks no one is watching, has something of the look of a kicked puppy, so I think he’s more upset than he’s making out, but from the rest all I see is kindness and, not relief exactly, but like a weight has lifted. It must have been so tough to watch their friend struggling, horribly worried about him but also relying on him to keep doing his job so the band would stay afloat. 

From the quick debrief in the taxi, predictably Peter and Cliff had not reacted with unmitigated joy. But I think they recognised a fait accompli staring them in the face. They’re going to ‘thrash out a deal’, which definitely includes finishing the album and doing the tour that follows. I guess Steve’s going to need a lawyer to deal with it all, but for now he seems content with the general plan. Would a clean break right now have been better? Maybe. In the short term. But I think the guilt would have got to him in the end. I don’t know, it doesn’t feel entirely real yet.