#I could go on such a tangent for each of my favorite tropes but I must hold myself back for the sake of brevity

[kira-the-whump-enthusiast]

Thank you to the lovely people who sent me asks for this ask game <2 but tumblr decided to suck so I gotta put my answers here

@emcscared-whumps @another-whump-sideblog

3. What are your favorite tropes?

I could talk about this for days omgggg

I think my favorite trope of all time has to be whumper turned whumpee/villain whump. If there is a guy in a story who hurts people and then gets hurt I am pretty much guaranteed to love it!!!

It adds a lot of flavor to stories I think. Complicates the usual whump dynamic especially. There are so many interesting things you can do with it!!! How does the whumpee react? Do they treat the whumperee with compassion despite how much they were hurt by them? Do they treat the whumperee with (honestly justified sometimes) scorn? Maybe they’re the whumperee’s whumper!!!

And the caretaker stuff too,,, Idk man it hits different when a characters who isn’t like a paragon or even just good most of the time gets a little comfort for the suffering they go through. (A consequence of my former self loathing, I think.) And there’s so much potential for reluctant caretakers!!!

And okay I love whumperees who get a redemption arc, I will always read stories where that happens, but I love love love it when the whumperee just gets worse. After all people improve despite trauma, not because of it. There is something very fun about a character who has been hurt immensely and decides to lash out at everyone. And I think my favorite types of characters are the ones that are miserable and choose to do bad things, and really they could improve but they don’t, they get worse, and it’s just such a lovely tragedy. I have many of those types of characters.

Um this is actually really long. I did not expect that. I will simply list my other fave tropes:

Immortal whumpees

Whumpee thinking caretaker is new whumper

When the whumpee is really scared of something happening but it turns out it was never gonna happen in the first place

Solitary confinement

Captivity whump

Starvation

Electrocution/shock collars

Whipping

Gore and cannibalism

4. What are your least favorite tropes?

Ummm this is kinda hard to say! Mostly cuz I don’t really have any tropes I particularly dislike? I guess tiny whump just doesn’t hit a vibe for me. I don’t always enjoy eye whump either. I can’t really list much! I mostly encounter tropes I enjoy or am neutral about!

7. Favorite whump writers?

THERE ARE SO MANY and this is only off the top of my head, so I’m probably missing a lot of people!!

@a-crumb-of-whump

@befuddled-calico-whump (and @whumpflash)

@blackrosesandwhump

@brutal-nemesis

@hopepetal

@hurting-fictional-people

@oddsconvert

@painsandconfusion

@purple-heart-x

@secretwhumplair

@turnthetablesonthem

@whump-a-la-mode

@whumper-dumps

@whumpering-heights

@whump-queen

@whumpsday

@whumpwillow

@whumpy-arts-and-crafts

@whumpzone

[ekingston]

Your reply on ao3 about your wife’s screenshot and being a cheerleader stuck with me, because I’ve realized I don’t actually articulate enough how amazing some writers (read: you) are. I finished the most recent chapter of soup (after eleven-thousand unacceptable distractions), and I was going to plunk together a quick comment that would absolutely not do enough justice to express the genius I find your writing to be. So instead I opened a google doc and started smashing my keyboard which resulted in a pretty long-winded... something, but allow me to fan-girl for like, a second:

The quality and style of your writing floors me every time. There is an effortlessness about it that makes it totally and completely bingeable but also something that gives a little more each time I read it. For me, it’s the most replayable form of literature: I can go back for the plot, for the character rapport, for the punchy dialogue, or for the voice of the narrator. It fits all the moods. It charms me. It amuses me. I want to hug it.

Your work excites me, and when I think of authors and works that excite me, I’m lumping you in with like, Heartburn which is an all-time favorite for that exact reason: I can binge it in a day or go back and sip on it and discover something clever and witty and just impossibly gorgeous in execution.

And speaking as someone who CANNOT for the life of me write something that doesn’t eventually tumble into a vat of angst, I also just adore the way you manage tension without losing the light-hearted reading experience. Holiday wine is a masterpiece, AND I think Soup is almost better because you juggle so much more: the chorus of characters are taking on their own plot lines, the stakes are higher, you add danger and adventure, you weave a more complex, interconnected storyline, and you massage it all beautifully to act as a supporting cast to the core of the story.

Which brings me to the trope (and a complete tangent): miscommunication. Like, ok look… I usually can’t stand it. But that’s mostly because of the execution: the obvious interruptions, the clear misdirection and disregard for natural intuition, the not asking the right questions, the very blatant ham-fisted forcefulness of it just… I can’t.

AND THEN YOU WENT AND MADE A MASTERCLASS OF IT.

You took every complaint you didn’t know I had and put in the work to make it believable. Kara is charmingly oblivious but not for lack of trying. She perfectly talks past Nia and Alex and Lena not just once but every. time. and every time is just so well-conceived and articulated and *gesticulates hands in the air wildly trying to find the right word* gah. The world of her confusion and misguidedness is so believable and commendable and *gesticulates again* gah. This is the absolute genius of the work. I will give kudos till I’m blue in the face about the story as a whole, but I will die on the ‘Easter crushed the miscommunication trope’ hill.

And this is just ONE EXAMPLE of how you knock it out of the park every single time. I could go on about how solidly you write the characters, how charming your prose is, how epic your one-shots are, or how I don’t even care that I can’t trust your chapter count anymore but this is already a run-on and I'm running out of air.

I don’t know how you write, if there is one draft or a million, if you just stream–of-conscious this into existence, or if you summon the words through a ouija board, but it’s brilliant and commendable and THANK YOU for doing what you’re doing.

so. this message is. a miracle? and you are a GIFT. and i’m not going to be able to elaborate much beyond that, because unlike you, i am terrible; at writing attentive notes, at handling compliments, and—hilariously, maybe, since i’ve finally started thinking of myself as a writer again after a decade of self-loathing false starts—at writing down my thoughts in an easily digestible way.

can i say it’s the nicest thing i’ve ever gotten from someone who isn’t (yet?) a close personal friend? that the timing of it was almost implausibly perfect because it arrived in the middle of the deep breathing exercises i was doing after being made aware of some deeply stupid twitter discourse around Soup that was going on right as i was getting ready to post its final chapter?

i think i’ll stick to the important stuff: like THANK YOU. like how your (AMAZING) note completely obliterated the bad stuff and made me excited not just to wrap up this fic, or even to jump into the next, but about doing it all in the first place. that it was a very needed reminder of what an immensely privileged position i’m in to be able to put something out online that brings people (you) enough joy that you want to come tell me about it. and, obviously, that the specific things you chose to highlight are extraordinarily flattering, and i am absolutely not immune to that kind of thing.

i went back and forth on publishing this ask because it feels almost embarrassing, and boastful. but whatever, you know? you made me feel good about my writing again and provided important perspective and ultimately you put thought and effort and overall awesomeness into it and i’m not going to hide that away when you intended it to be shared.

thank you. SO MUCH.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  Sleepingoffyourdemons! They have 6 works posted to AO3 and all of them are in the Steddie tag!

Nevertheless_5 recommends the following works by @punkslovepoints:

in the back of your girlfriend's car

The most that I could give to you is nothing at all

"The A is for Ally"

What Happens at Comic Con Stays at Comic Con

obliterations everywhere (we blaze with scorching heat)

Sleepingoffyourdemons’ fics are character studies, grounded in reality with all the painful angst, real world consequences, and heartwrenching love you could want in your Steddie wish fulfillment. They hurt and heal in equal measure. They feel immersive in a comforting way. I fell in love with the first fic I read, and proceeded to read everything else by the author. Also, the research put into the time periods and info in notes is just icing on the cake. -- Nevertheless_5

Below the cut, @punkslovepoints answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I don’t know! I didn’t watch season 4 and immediately think, “These guys are in love.” In fact, during Eddie's first scene, I didn't really even like him. Then, existing on the edge of the wider Stranger Things fandom, I saw a few fics showing up here and there and that was what really pulled me in.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I love a good missing scene fic, although I can understand why there aren’t many of those in this fandom, given that staying true to canon leads to a very grisly end to one half of the ship. I also like a slow burn, friends to lovers and a wee bit of angst.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Honestly, the same that I like to read. I try to write for myself and hope that other people will like it too. As difficult as that can be sometimes, like everyone, I also crave external validation where every comment makes your day.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

A Certain Type and the rest of the series by @anniebass. It’s one of those that burrows into your chest and lives there for the rest of your life. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about that fic.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’m annoyingly resolute to sticking as close to canon as possible (Eddie dying aside!) so I’ve never really strayed away from that. But have had an idea for an AU for the upcoming Steddie Big Bang that I think I could write with enough connection to canon that it’ll keep the part of my brain that screams ‘that wouldn’t happen!!!’ quiet.

What is your writing process like?

I tend to get an idea then focus on that until it’s done and posted. I don’t write that often, and I obsess over small details. I must have read each one of my fics twenty times or more, just going over and over them before I post.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I don’t know! There’s probably a lot that I’m not even aware of. Most of my fics have a lot of references at the end, even ones that aren’t specifically historical, so that’s probably a dead giveaway that a fic is one of mine. That and going off on tangents for whatever my special interest is that month.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Definitely when I’ve finished. Although as I’m posting, people’s comments and feedback may inspire me to make small alterations or add scenes here or there in future chapters. I wrote an extra scene into the final chapter of The Most That I Could Give To You… to give an OC a proper send off because of the number of comments I’d had earlier in the fic from people who loved him. I also re-wrote the final scene of “The A is for Ally” the night I posted it because I decided I didn’t like how it ended and changed it. 

Which fic are you most proud of?

Probably “The A is for Ally”, because of the sheer amount of research that I put into it. I wanted to write an exploration of queer history that focused on queer joy in the early 90’s. It can be hard to find that balance, writing queer ships set in less progressive times. Because it wasn’t all sunshine and roses, but, equally, there were moments of joy and communities of real queer people living their lives and fighting for those queer spaces. I wanted to pay tribute to that. [Side note: The title is a joke, the A is not for Ally].

How did you get the idea for What Happens at Comic Con Stays at Comic Con?

As with most of the fics I've written, I wanted to read it, so I wrote it. I was looking for something set at comic con and was shocked when I couldn't find anything, especially with the source material being what it is. I later discovered Descent into the Depths of the Earth (Or at Least Milwaukee) by disastardly on Ao3, but by then I'd written mine. Luckily they are totally different, and I'd highly recommend that one too.

When writing "The A is for Ally", what was something you didn’t expect?

How popular it got! I’m still a small writer, not a big name or anything, but I got so many more comments on that fic compared to all the ones before and @cemeterylight even drew art of it. It was so nice that something I wrote resonated with people.

What inspired in the back of your girlfriend's car?

There’s a song by Lucy Dacus called Christine that has the lines “You're falling asleep on my shoulder in the back of your boyfriend's car” that is a beautiful portrayal of queer longing. Loving somebody who is with somebody else who obviously isn’t right for them. I love Nancy, and wanted to follow that thought: What happens if Steve does win Nancy back, but they’re both different people now? My pitch for the fic is that it's an exploration of trauma and chasing highs, loving multiple people in multiple ways at once, messy relationships and making out in cars. All with a Steddie endgame, of course.

What was your favorite part to write from The most that I could give to you is nothing at all?

Probably the couple of chapters in California. Eddie and Steve have been hooking up on and off for a few years long distance, and after it all blows up, they agree to spend some time getting to know each other without letting sex get in the way. It was fun to write in that space where you have two people who are obviously in love, have a history, but are trying desperately to avoid falling into old habits. That simmering sexual tension.

How do/did you feel writing What Happens at Comic Con Stays at Comic Con?

Really nostalgic for going to comic con! I haven’t been to one in a few years and it just made me miss the feeling of being in a space where everyone is as weird and nerdy as you are.

What was the most difficult part of writing obliterations everywhere (we blaze with scorching heat)?

I hadn’t actually written a proper fic before when I wrote that one. I had written two drabbles over a decade ago and that was it. So just writing it was difficult. At the time, there were next to no fics where Eddie was the one having a bi crisis and Steve was fairly chill in his sexuality (there still aren’t enough in my opinion, it’s a top tier trope) so I just wrote what I wanted to read.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

Probably the whole conversation this snippet is taken from within The Most That I Could Give To You… where Steve has the charm turned up to eleven and Eddie is fighting for his life (figuratively this time). I adore writing the Stobin back and forth dynamic too, so there's this one from The Most That I Could Give To You… where they're talking about Sisyphus and May 29th 1992 from “The A is for Ally” where Robin sees something she wishes she hadn't. I also got a lot of nice comments on this scene from “The A is for Ally” where Wayne mistakenly thinks Steve and Eddie are dating and “Steve didn't correct him, didn't feel the distinction was all that important.”

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I’ve just posted a new one, Pebble and I've got another one that I’m part way through, both of them returning to my roots and featuring Eddie having a bi crisis. I’m also planning on taking part in the Steddie Bang, but obviously can’t talk about that! 

Thank you to our author, @punkslovepoints, and our nominator, Nevertheless_5! See more of Sleepingoffyourdemons' works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[ladyryukyo]

Hello, I hope work is going ok

Haha, I also hope this is somewhat coherent, but I am very bad at assembling my thoughts into something that resembles a narative, but here are some thoughts that has been carouseling my mind:

Recently, I have been thinking abou beyblade fantasy AU's: A grant adventure, a world fractured into many fighting factions (some human, some elven, some with magic powers and so on), soon to be overshadowed by The Great Dark Lord Nemesis™️

The legendary bladers are propheciesed to save the world, and as of now most of them traveling together on some great mission to raise an army to defeat Nemesis or smth (everyone except Ryuga? Have a very hard time imagining him going anywhere with anyone). However the legendary bladers are NOT a cohesive unit, they are from different factions and have a hard time trusting each other 😔 </3

Along with this, I've been thinking a lot about armor: how to make it functional and actually protective, while still evoking the feel of the bladers original outfit... (ok actually I've mostly I have been thinking about how to make armor, that looks like a crop top with a big billowy coat for Kyoya, but at the same time actually protect his vital organs)

My solution for now is probably layering some chain mail under some cut up shirts, but then I ran into my second problem: that much armor is heavy, noisy and warm (since you'd also need layers beneath the chain mail), would an adventurer even wear that much armor on a day to day basis?... So now I am trying to come with a way to balance that out... (Actually after writing it down tho, Kyoya specifically would absolutely see wearing heavy armor as a great training exercise...)

Also bc Kyoya gets special treatment as my favorite character, and I think he could use more "great-destiny-I-didn't-pick-and-thus-don't-want" issues: Mayhap his mother is the heiress to one faction, but she was driven away by an usurper, who is now out to kill her and her descendents? (No scars from *accidently* falling windows in this AU)... (Also maybe the usurper is paying Chris to take care of her descendents?)

Aaaahhh anyways thanks for reading all of my ramblings <3

henning i can always count on you tysm for sharing your ramblings w me <33

fantasy au my beloved!! the idea of the legendary bladers roaming around the lands and trying to rally an army while constantly bickering with each other is so funny. i have to agree that ryuga probably wouldn't travel with them but! imagine the kenta & ryuga interactions in this scenario :(( kenta tries to learn magic from ryuga who is so so good at it but unwilling (and without the patience lbh) to teach. kenta just stares at him really hard and tries to learn by observing ryuga do impossible feats of magic. ryuga acts annoyed but he also loves the attention lol

plsss kyoya in fantasy armor is simply amazing and badass. id love to see it. i know its impractical but i do imagine him in a chainmail crop top or something similarly unnecessary but stylish. anything for the glam. could also imagine some kind of corset top-like leather armor? i think leather armor would be the go-to for adventurers anyway.

kyoya is the perfect protagonist for a "refusal of the call" trope lmao. it would be a "fuck this, im gonna do my own thing" situation with him. every. time. "i don't care that you're a god or fate or whatever and you can't tell me what to do."

d-did you just make kyoya/chris possible in this au?? FJFDHSSJS maybe it's just my permanent brainrot for this ship but! chris keeps failing to assassinate kyoya but he's come close a couple of times and also kyoya's scars being a result of one of chris' assassination attempts and also they know each other by now after all this time and they probably keep bickering while trying to kill each other which is so unprofessional but it's almost like they're friends and do they really actually truly want to harm each other at all at this point?

... im blaming you for this tangent lol thank you henning i truly appreciate this <3 love you

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

franflam (they are not sisters)

ahahahahaHAHA this is exactly what i was expecting people to send in when i said "controversial ships". no one is ready for one of my signature franflam tangents

under the cut:

you know the last time i did this ship bingo thing someone asked me about franflam too and i just flat out refused to respond because i didnt want to touch the discourse with a ten foot pole. either me putting my opinions here will get me cancelled or it will summon some people hopefully sane about this discourse. i love gambling

to preface, my honest opinions on the matter are that whatever the hell those two got going on in canon is queerbaiting. i say this as someone who bought star allies on a whim at gamestop as their very first kirb game like two years after it released, not even knowing kirby still made games at that time, and thus played the game with zero biases towards anything but yeah those two were written with a weird attachment to each other and it would be stupid to outright deny that. do i think franflam is canon though?: absolutely not and also i hate everyone who claims that with a passion. you could make a claim with a reasonable amount of evidence for either side of the argument and the fact that its even remotely possible both could be true at once, along with kumazaki himself either refusing to elaborate or confirm, or giving even More support to Either side is absolute bullshit and any sort of grey area here is totally his and the writers faults so hey can we all stop arguing about what the "correct" answer is when there literally isnt really one

anyways with that out of the way, heres all of the reasons i hate franflam without mentioning "potential incest" as a concern even once

their dynamic in canon is stereotypical angry black woman is overprotective of stereotypical dainty elegant white woman. hate that. gives me bad vibes. the whole "to show one character is in love with the other, they talk about their love interest nonstop every half second" trope is absolutely HANDS DOWN my absolute least favorite romance trope EVER. it drives me absolutely insane. thats the #1 way to get me to hate both of the characters and their relationship the fastest. holy shit shut up and focus on the story and whats happening around you instead of shoehorning mention of the other person into your words nonstop. hate that. i also hate the "person a is overprotective of their love interest" trope too, esp when it extends into jealously of the other person hanging out with others (sparkling pupupu world does this, for example). feels gross. can feel infantizing. if people see that as romantic good for you but i can not see it ever. its overly possessive. i think having a trio of mages and having two of them being separated and off fucking around on their own all the time as their "happy ending" is bad writing, especially when it comes to zans character being so heavily affected by her isolation from others and how hyness treated her AND YOU JUST GO AND SEPERATE THEM INTO FRAN+FLAM AND ZAN+HYNESS ALL THE TIME FOR SOME REASON HELLO. JUST MAKE ONE MAGE CHARACTER IN THAT CASE IF TWO OF THE TRIO HAVE NO DEVELOPMENT OR PURPOSE OTHER THAN TO FUCK OFF BY THEMSELVES. and then people who ship franflam also often end up shipping hynzan cause of that EWWWWWW GROSSSSSSS. also fran+flam being more close because the jambacult is a broken family that needs to heal Or them being more close because flam is an overprotective older sibling are INFINITELY more interesting to me as concepts than: "fran+flam are closer to each other and not zan because theyre dating and thus inherently dont care about zan as much because platonic relationships are always secondary to romantic". hate that. and the fandom. oh my God as people might be able to tell by all of the arrows on the bingo sheet i have fucking FEELINGS about this this needs a whole new paragraph

okay so. so 😍. i have this thing i call "red flag ships" where the ships are fine as a concept on paper but for some reason the shippers are just absolutely Rancid and that throws me off from liking the ship in its entirely and i get really sussed out by anyone who ships it. franflam is a red flag ship. i think the shippers have gotten so used to being yelled at by people who think theyre siblings that theyve pavlov'd themselves into being insanely hostile and aggressive to anyone who doesn't ship them. at least thats what i can tell from anyone whos Open and remotely loud about shipping them. istg i am not joking in the slightest when i say 95% of my interactions with people who Happen to be big or even decently into shipping franflam have been godawful. the convos dont even have to be around franflam i just think the ship inherently attracts awful people because its only aggressive toxic people who arent scared about shipping it openly. is that generalizing?: Yeah but thats just my personal experience. i have never met someone loud about liking franflam or who makes content for it that wasnt an awful asshole or yikes person in some way

that said, people who really like the ship but are quiet or lowkey about it usually end up being super chill and cool. its just the goddamn Fandom i have an issue with really. so anyone whos normal about it i am so sorry for you lmao

in a somewhat unrelated manner, i used to be somewhat close with someone who had franflam as their ultimate otp and God they fucking sucked. apart from redirecting every convo ever to be about franflam, they were also insanely nasty to anyone who even remotely saw them as siblings because they inherently saw it as an attack against franflam, so theyd always be making comments like "can you believe anyones stupid enough to see them as siblings" and "kinda misogynistic and lesbiophobic that metadede and marxolor are more popular than franflam when franflam is so blatantly canon" and yadayadayada they would say that shit completely unironically even right in front of me when they knew i hc'd them as siblings. i could complain up enough of a storm about that person and all of the insane things they said and did to fill up another 10 paragraphs but in general they were awful and really awful to me and multiple friends and you know what. i fucking hate the ship because of that too. sue me i cant stand seeing it around and i get grossed out by it.

on another note if i see anyone trying to push franflam as canon i will kick your ass. it might seem like im complaining about a problem that doesnt exist since tumblr is very anti-franflam, but on other sites its the opposite and if i had a nickel for every stupid "franflam is definitely canon and the only canon option and here's why" argument ive ever heard and could Easily debunk i could buy a fucking mansion. how to tell franflam shipppers its Okay if their ship isnt canon challenge: impossible (generalizing ofc, this whole rant is generalizing. take with a grain of salt. man i hate franflam)

[perverse-idyll]

Congrats! and：

🤗

billsfangearring asked:

Congratulations!!! I’d love to hear your answer to 🤗

Ask post with emoji list

(Sorry, I'm inept at Tumblr protocols, so I'm c & p-ing two of the same asks together.)

This is a tricky one - 🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

My real workday starts in about half an hour, so I may have to chip away at this for a while. The reason it's tricky is that fandom has changed so much since I clicked a link and found myself flailing around in LiveJournal wonderland. I embraced my OTP in that same flailing instant (Snarry, of course), and it brought me a community already at full steam. Snarry was considered a weird, batshit, indefensible pairing even then, but in its own LJ corner it was extremely beloved, and other HP shippers mostly left us alone. I'm tempted to rhapsodize about the people I encountered, but the point is, they were creative, ribald, mostly 30+ in age, delighted by Snape's moral turpitude and angst and arseholery as much as by his courage and intelligence and mystery (remember, this was pre-Lily and all the disappointment that came with it).

In short, I was welcomed and supported as I grew from a commenter and frothing enthusiast into a fic writer. (I know Discord fills some of that need currently, but chat style doesn't work for me.) And it was a free-for-all. The conversations were lengthy and earnest but also irreverent, and because they were threaded and static - no scrolling back to find a starting point or a branching tangent - they occurred over days among all kinds of fans who linked each other's opinions. If you didn't want outsiders reading your stuff, you could friends-lock it, sure. But otherwise, a fair percentage of Snape and Snarry fans felt free to drop in, share their interpretations, start a convo about your fic, and ask for help. There were also reccing communities and newsletters, and these fandom seems

Those things were as crucial to me as the actual writing. I'd been writing original fic on my own for years, but Snarry fandom's community participation was the fuel I needed to motivate me into turning my fannish infatuation into stories.

So... find a mutually supportive community. Share what you have to say. Re-kindle your excitement in any way you can. It can make fandom so much more fun and help you finish what you start.

As for writing: I'm absolutely, utterly character-driven, so that shapes how and what I write. You may prefer plot or world-building. Or favorite tropes. Or porn. But for me, character is why I write, and it all flows from there. Whatever gets you daydreaming, making up scenes in your head, whatever gives you a rush of emotion when you read other fics or revisit the canon, whatever holes in the worldbuilding are bugging you enough to write fix-its, let that inspire you.

And then - find the words. I'm a stickler for grammar and spelling, so I'm going to say, learn the rules. For one thing, it will help you say what you want to say. It will seduce readers to your point of view. And then? Just start. Think about a useful or exciting entry point, but if that makes you freeze up, just write the most urgent or colorful or heartbreaking or reverse-engineered idea you've had recently, something that has power over you. Even if all you have to say at first is You're my fave and you deserve nice things, find a way to show that. Show your fave getting everything they ever wanted. (And then have them lose it all because you also love angst, and the potential for writing comfort (or not) is just around the corner.) You want to tell the story that canon didn't.

Don't worry about writing a perfect fic. This is fanfiction. You can do anything. It doesn't have to be brilliant. It doesn't have to be canon-compliant. It can be the craziest shit you ever dreamed up. It can be embarrassing. Who cares? Welcome to the internet. It can fall short of what you see in your head. (Get used to that. Writers beat themselves up a lot, but it's just how human brains work.) And it means you've got another chance to write an entirely different story and cram all the things you love and didn't quite manage to capture into a whole new piece of writing. It can surprise you (who wrote that? fuck, I didn't know that about myself.) It can even be unfinished. Fanfiction doesn't have to adhere to traditional storytelling. You want an audience, well, sure, but you also want to express the thing that makes this world, these characters, mean so much to you.

You'll be disappointed sometimes, you'll get criticism sometimes, you might have to learn how to avoid professional haters. But you also, above all, get to love your work. Don't ever let anyone tell you that it's not good enough. It might need improvement - whose work doesn't? (Okay, I can think of a few, but they're exceptions.) But that story is still something to be proud of. You are allowed to love your own writing. To be happy about it. To make yourself fall even more in love with your favorite character because now you've written them. Now they belong a little bit to you.

And loving your own stories will help you keep writing. And as you keep writing, you'll eventually figure out what it is you really want to say. You'll get closer and closer to the heart of things, and better at making other people love it, too.

Okay, this is a great big bunch of blather written under pressure at work, so it's more cheerleading than nuts and bolts. I don't talk much about my own process here because I wouldn't recommend the way I write to an aspiring author, and it would only be interesting to a tiny handful of readers. But I hope at least some of this addresses the question!

[swallowedastar]

Coral, hibiscus and hot pink!

First of all thank you so much for sending an ask 💗

Coral: what’s something you’re passionate about? I'm honestly a very passionate person. Like anything I deeply admire I feel intense emotions for. Whether it's my job, hobbies, interests or people. And if you happen to ask about something I'm interested in or start up a conversation that intrigues me, I usually light up and could go on for hours. (a lot of people dislike this about me tbh. I can go on tangents sometimes about something I'm passionate about).

Hibiscus: what’s your favorite pet name, if any? why? This one made me blush cause I love being called princess in any type of way. Like I want to be a princess please. And many a times I've been called a disney princess by a lot by people in my life. And then this past Friday a coworker called me strawberry princess and I literally had to warn them not to call me such things because I like it so much, and they said too bad because that's what I am.

Hot Pink: what’s your favorite relationship trope? I love friends to lovers, especially when they're both pining over each other and it's so obvious to everyone else but them. I also love that trope where Person A is looking at something, like the stars sunset or garden, and mentions how beautiful it is. But person B is looking at Them not the stars or the sunset or the garden, and murmuring on a sigh, "Yes, beautiful." Oh and sunshine/grumpy trope!

💗🌸 Ask me something please! 💗🌸

It can be This Pink Post or something random please <3

[whaleofatjme1920]

Do you wanna just like, infodump headcanons on your favorite Assassin's Creed games? I've never played or watched the gameplay, but it makes me happy to see you ramble about it~

More Assassin's Creed Thoughts

[Warnings: Like, none??]

[AN: I tend to hyperfixate on AC 4 because that's the first console game and AC title I'd ever played and I AM LOYAL to Edward. That's my dad, boogie woogie woogie. But I moved by protagonists in chronological order. There is no format here I just go off on paragraph long tangents with general thoughts.]

Altair Ibn-La'Ahad

I didn't actually play this one so it's the most hazy in my memory but Altair, from what I can remember, is a silent and egotistical prick sometimes. He obviously levels out, but this man embodies "enemies to lovers" trope. He's a good man, and his sense of humor often doesn't land with many people! It's dry, sarcastic, and sometimes quite dark. His friendship with Malik was never really quite the same after the incident. They have a deep respect for each other after a while but like, come on. I don't know if Altair ever thought about having a wife for love until Maria came in and turned his world upside down. She settled into his head like a virus, took hold until he couldn't deny her any longer. He'd never love anyone as much as he loved her. If he dated anyone after, let's pretend for a moment Reader comes in, that love would always fall just short. She left a really, really dark and big shadow. You won't outgrow it.

Ezio Auditore da Firenze

His love for Cristina was puppy love. I feel like if they did actually end up together, they'd end up parting on amicable terms. However, because he lost her so tragically and suddenly, constantly yearning without actually growing together, she became the one that got away. A part of him has never healed from that. In that same breath, he's never loved anyone as deeply as he loves Sofia. The capacity to love is something Ezio excels at, and his capacity for others varies. Never worse, or lighter, just different. I also believe he regrets his time as an Assassin in some capacity as well. When he met up with Shao, or rather when Shao found him, he came to a grounding that what he'd done his entire life was for the good. Ezio is a very contemplative, deep man. Seeing his life progress as much as it did over the games - that was something genuinely special. I also think he likes doodling in free time.

Haytham and Connor Keyway

I don't know how I feel about Haytham. He's a charming man, but the whole Templar switch when his father was that guy... I don't know. I do think it's important that we see other viewpoints, and in a way, I wish we spent more time with Haytham, having a first game dedicated to him and the second following him to America etc. I think, if he was able, he would've been a relatively good father to Connor. He harbors respect for his son, and his son's mother clearly - it was from that residual love for Ziio that he wouldn't let Connor get executed. Him spending time with his son made him... almost bitter that he didn't prioritize him earlier. He would have been a good father if everyone played their cards differently. I'd actually say his strength is his prose. Man has skills in speech. If he was a teacher, he'd be AP English.

Connor is soft spoken, contemplative and gentle beyond belief. He's a whole "gentle giant". However, that doesn't mean he's against reprimanding people and putting them in their place. I once saw a post, a long time ago, that said Connor became a bear of a man because he wasn't strong enough to save his mother. He can't let anyone else down like that ever again, and won't. He still has nightmares about losing her, and strong pyrophobia. He misses Achilles more than you could ever know. A proper father figure wrapped up in slight sass. If only Connor could know how much love Achilles had, and carries on for him. Oh also, I think he loves dogs!! Probably has a few later in life once he's settled down and had children. Everyone comes to him for advice because he's weirdly good at giving it.

Aveline de Grandpre

She's an incredible assassin why did we forget she's here?? Existing?? She's a bit of a troublemaker and known to light up the room with her sense of humor. I'd say she's one of the friendliest assassins to get along with due to how magnetic she is. She's got a bit of an identity crisis going on though?? Neither community she was born from would accept her and despite her relatively privileged upbringing, she felt a little lost growing up. In the brotherhood, things really changed. There were moments she doubted herself and her choices as shown by the game and her time with Connor, but, she chose best. As she grew older, rising in the ranks as a formidable assassin, she looked back on her early years and knew she'd done well. I also think she's the only female assassin we've seen thus far that actually enjoys wearing dresses as Evie and Elise (a Templar lmfao) both show extreme aversion to the fashion choices.

Edward Kenway and Adewale

Everything Edward has ever done has been for Caroline when he knew it was just her. It's heartbreaking to see that it took years on the sea, losing everyone and everything to realize that the people he should live for... They've all gone. Jenny became his only link to life outside of clearing up the Woodes Rodgers mess. I think he made it a habit to gift her with flowers, twice a week, in different colors. And the man never lost his sense of showmanship. He just,,,, changed how he was going to do it. Telling stories to his children was crucial because Jenny and Haytham became his true loves in life. Nothing could ever stop the love of a genuine father. After he'd spent so many years hurting people, being selfish, losing everyone who stood at his side, he would not risk his relationship with these two. So, imagine his surprise when Haytham becomes a Templar grandmaster-. Also, i don't think he could ever shake his love of the sea and spent lots of time at the docks telling sailor stories to Jenny because she was just as fascinated as he was.

Adewale isn't talked about enough and I don't like it. Funny enough, I don't know if Ade and Edward were entirely friends?? They weren't really lifelong friends, that's the vibe I get. You know BoJack and Todd?? That's the kind of energy I get from the two of these guys. Ade and Edward often had deep respect for each other but Edward's brashness pushed Ade away. When they did become friends again, Edward joining the assassins, they tended to hold each other at an arm's length. Respect and friendship often coexist but are not the same thing. It wouldn't be until years later that the two could really call each other solid friends - I suppose they always were?? But never THAT close. Ade is still disappointed in Haytham, and the grief and disappointment he conveyed to him in that moment was enough to stand in for Edward as well.

I Don't Talk About Shay

Arno Dorian

After losing Elise, he was just,,, never the same? Like, yeah okay fine, he becomes a master assassin and does things for the good but like, he's sad and tragic. Has a kid eventually with a woman but he's kinda similar to Altair in the sense he'd never love anyone as much as he'd love her. Which is weird, considering I don't think Elise ever truly loved him, at least, not in the way that he deserved. After losing her father. Elise had closed off who she was in order to avenge him, and she had no room for anyone else to enter her heart. Perhaps if she and Arno were goatherds somewhere far away, it could work out but it always felt doomed to be tragic. Arno likes to journey around Paris at night, not only helping people, but feeling like a ghost, just observing. He knows the work will never stop, so to walk around and observe for the sake of observing is peaceful. He's helpful where he can be with just a slight amount of biting cynicism. But, everyone loves him regardless.

Evie and Jacob Frye

Evie and the Queen parted on weird ways because Evie was able to call her out on imperialism. However, the cake was still left for Evie. That offer never went away. I think Henry and Evie are in every definition, soulmates. Evie has such a deep love and appreciation for India, the culture, the languages spoken, all because of her husband. Interestingly enough, I don't think she's actually that strict with her children?? She doesn't force them to be assassins in the way her father did because Jacob practically BEGGED her to not repeat their father's mistakes on his nieces and nephew. Evie and Henry speak in flowers and nothing else.

I don't know about you guys but I don't think Jacob actually has any children later on in life (other than uh, Jack the Lad). He's fine where he's at, marries, but all his time and energy goes into being the fun uncle for his nieces and nephew whenever he sees them. He's also a bit sad over "losing" his sister when she moves to India. Mostly because well, he's never really been without her. I think Jacob has separation anxiety. He cares deeply about Clara and ends up kinda fostering her? He's like her older brother and the most important girl in his life outside of his sister.

Shao Jun

Shao deserved so much more attention. In fact, the entirety of AC Chronicles deserved better. I think that like, all three of those deserve open world titles. Shao has a bit of a temper and usually goes by her way or the highway. Honestly, she's a lot more like Ezio than she realizes and Ezio knew that from their brief time together. I think, if she and Ezio spent more time together, they would have grown to be quite personal like a father and his kid that can't and won't sit down.

Bayek and Aya

I'm going to be focusing on the two of them as a unit. Aya and Bayek clearly still love each other. That much is undeniable. After losing Khemu, it was just... It was too fresh and painful. However, after years of working as the parents of the Hidden Ones, they were reunited in old age, able to spend the rest of the twilight years together. It was solemn, in some places emotionally breaking, but they were able to come back together and be stronger than ever before. I don't know if their puppy love from when they were teens ever died down, especially after hearing Bayek's letter to Amunet in AC Valhalla. He's always loved her, and she him, but the pain, and the bigger picture they'd been painted in stole every sense of normalcy for them. I think, if they were reincarnated, they wouldn't have to deal with the pain all over again. They'd have good lives, with healthy, well brought up children, and live out in modernity what they couldn't in history.

Kassandra and Deimos/Alexios

Kassandra is gay and I'm not accepting any other answer right now. Her having a child with Natakas was purely to continue her bloodline and nothing else. I would say they're entirely platonic. That's it. But that doesn't deny the fact that Kassandra misses Elpidios like crazy. ALSO, because Kassandra was like running around for all of these years, she absolutely came into direct contact with literally everyone on this list at least once. Being near immortal has made her a little jaded but she's still the same misthios we've loved since we first met her.

I'm not entirely sure if Deimos,,,, is deserving of a section? I have thoughts about Odyssey and like none of them are positive except for Kassandra. Like, I guess he goes back to his family?? Fades into obscurity??? His sister tries her hardest to bring him back to a normal, good life and he fades into the night.

F!Evior Varinsdottir

She has such a soft spot for birds, but especially Synin. She's often heard baby talking her bird, petting her sweetly, feeding her, it's really cute. Oh, Evior has a natural knack with animals and children alike! When she visits like, Lunden, or Glowercestercire (that's my favorite place in map and story arc!), she's always running around and playing with them. She teaches them about Synin, some Norse traditions, etc. I also think Eivor has a knack for art. She gives new designs to Tove. It's quite sweet and Tove always admonishes Evior for not looking more deeply into art. Eivor sometimes misses Norway, but England has its perks too. Nothing makes her feel more at peace than Vinland though.

[mercy-burning]

Incredible

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Professor!Spencer sparks a connection with a spunky student. Category: FLUFF (of the spicy variety, so I’d rate it PG-13) Warnings: Adults with age gap (Reader is in her early 20s), language, flirting, making out, a brief mention of oral sex Word Count: 8.7k

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

Full Request: “...Okay so prof/student, and reader is so badass, has tattoos, flirt all the time, but like hate everybody except spencer, and he loves that she is so different, intriguing, dark and touchy? But like everyone in spencer life thinks that she’s using him, because of her grades, and also because they are “so different” but like they love each other, so she makes a big gesture and says fuck all of you, I love him and it’s the only thing that matters, and spencer is like heart eyes” —Anonymous

NOTE: My first go at Professor!Spencer! This is a favorite trope of mine, so I loved finally getting to delve into it myself. I hope I did it justice! Also, the original title for this was “Bad For You” and it was supposed to be a little different, but it went in a different direction than I was intending. I still hope it’s okay though!

***

Truthfully, the first time she showed up in his classroom he had a feeling. It was a feeling he didn't get very often, therefore he wasn't sure what to make of it. All he knew was that when she sat down in the front row, all the way on the right, keeping to herself, he just felt that there was something special about her.

The obvious reasoning behind this newfound feeling was most likely the multiple tattoos that adorned her skin, and the flashy, attention-grabbing makeup that surrounded her eyes and lips, but as the semester progressed, Spencer started to realize her academic confidence was taking hold of most of his attention. Sure, she stood out in the crowd, completely different from anyone else who'd entered his classroom, and without a doubt one of the most stunning women he'd ever seen. But rather than scrolling through her phone while waiting for class to start each morning, she brought out a book to read or notes to study or something else to keep her busy. If anything else, yes, he admired her work ethic, at least what he could see of it.

And as time progressed, he'd come to see her succeeding more in his class than almost anyone else. Under normal circumstances, it would have been all good and plenty, but as it turned out, Y/N was anything but normal.

The first... incident happened not long after the first week of the semester, and a group of other girls were sitting next to Y/N. Class would start in close to five minutes, and students were still filing in while the group was having a rather... interesting conversation.

Spencer had had a feeling about what it was pertaining to, but his suspicions were confirmed the second he heard Y/N's voice, loud and clear.

"For the love of God, if you're gonna talk about him like he's a hot piece of ass right in front of him, you might as well shout it from the rooftops."

He looked up to see she hadn't lifted her head from the book she was reading as she said it, flipping a page half-way through her tangent and looking unbothered, despite the connotations of her words.

Rather than being upset at her, like he figured most girls in their situation would, they all stayed silent the rest of the time and barely looked anyone in the eye.

The moment Y/N realized she had them, Spencer noticed a small smirk on her face.

Class ended about forty minutes later, and just as the bell rang, he called out.

"Uh, Y/N, could I speak to you for a second?"

She looked up at him for a brief second before nodding, and even though mostly everyone in the classroom laid out a chorus of Oooohs, she still managed to look unbothered. In fact, he could have sworn he noticed her roll her eyes for just a split second.

She packed up her things and waited for everyone to leave. And as she approached him finally, Spencer felt a slight twist in his stomach at the way she did it, her expression somewhat worrisome despite her show of confidence earlier.

"Hey," she greeted plainly. Her hands clutched onto the strap of her bag so tightly her tattooed hands looked almost pale.

"Y/N," he greeted back. "I, uh... I'm not sure exactly what happened before class, but—"

"Yeah, I know. I shouldn't have said anything, it was probably rude embarrass them like that, but it was rude of them to talk about you like that right in front of you."

Spencer paused, not really sure how to respond other than to nod. "Well, uh... I... Thank you, I appreciate that."

"Besides, they're only auditing anyway, it's not like they actually care about the subject. I mean, c'mon, if you're gonna verbally daydream about sucking your professor's dick while he's standing right in front of you, you should at least have the decency to give a shit about what he's taking time out of his day to teach you."

Well... That certainly hasn't been what he was expecting. With eyes wide and hands starting to sweat, Spencer tried to think of how to respond, but came up short. But he had to say something, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"I appreciate your honesty."

Y/N smiled at him. It was a genuine smile that he hadn't seen, and he wished he could see it a thousand times over.

"Well, then, Sir, can I tell you something in all honesty?"

"Always."

She looked him up and down for a moment, his heart involuntarily swelling at the way her eyes raked over him with somewhat of a mischievous gleam. "You are a hot piece of ass. And I give a shit about what you're taking time out of your day to teach me. Thank you for that."

Without another word, she turned away and walked off, leaving him with a dropped jaw that slowly transformed into an amused smile.

Two days later, a Friday to be exact, Y/N showed up a few minutes early as she had every Friday prior. Spencer turned to give her a kind smile, but she didn't look up. She promptly sat down in her seat and got out a book, finding her page and leaning back in her seat.

He didn't want to interrupt, but still he offered a bright, "Good morning," and took the chance that she might offer him a greeting back.

She did glance up from her book, following it with a little smirk and a wink. And just as quickly as it came and went, she started reading again, almost as if the greeting had never happened.

"What are you reading?" he asked before he could stop himself.

Y/N didn't look up this time. But she said, "The Da Vinci Code."

"Oh," he responded, happy he'd even gotten an answer at all. "I've never heard of it."

This time she did look up. And she looked highly amused. "You've never heard of The Da Vinci Code? Not even the movie?"

Since they were looking at each other now, Spencer only shook his head.

"Seriously?" Y/N pressed, tilting her head to the side.

"Seriously. What's it about?"

She simply stared at him some more, and he figured it was still shock over his cluelessness when it came to The Da Vinci Code, but something about the look on her face said it was something else. Something more... devious.

Finally, she said, "I'm not gonna tell you." And then she went back to reading.

He should have left it at that, should have just moved on, but he couldn't help himself. So he pressed further. "Why not?"

Y/N looked up again, and then she closed the book. "Because if it's seriously taken you this long to even hear the name of the book, or the movie, then maybe it's just not your thing."

"Well, Y/N, truth be told, there's a lot in modern pop culture that I don't know about, so... That might not be true."

The two of them held gazes for a few seconds, just completely... captivated by each other in ways neither of them had experienced or could explain. He was in awe of her blunt and snarky presence, and she was utterly taken with his modern naivete.

When she repeated his words from the day before, "I appreciate your honesty," and smiled wickedly at him, he smiled back and almost fell to his knees.

Then students started to come into class and Y/N looked down at her book, which she seemed to have forgotten that she closed, because she actually blushed and fumbled getting it open quickly, obviously not as smooth as she'd always been.

The sight made Spencer's heart flutter.

Once class ended, he looked up to see Y/N standing at his desk and holding out her book. "Here. You should read it."

"Oh, I—I can find my own copy, I— You're reading it, I couldn't..."

Y/N huffed a laugh. "I've read it like five times already, I practically have the entire thing memorized. Just give it back when you're done."

He took the book with a smile. "Well, I have just a bit of paperwork to get done, but after that I'm good to go, so if you come by at the end of the day, I can give it to you then."

She blinked at him, and for a few moments neither of them said anything.

"Oh, I, uh... I read fast," is all Spencer said to explain himself.

Y/N nodded and glanced up at the clock above his head. "Oh. Ha. Right, of course you do. Um, I'll, uh... I'll come back, then. Professor."

The title falling from her lips would have ruined him completely had she stayed any longer, but again, she walked away without another word or glance, and it left him breathless.

There was a point, later on in the day when she came back to get her book, where he'd left her equally as breathless.

He was flipping through pages at light speed, and he didn't even notice her come in and sit down in the chair across from his desk. She sat there for a good two minutes, just watching him flipping pages and muttering silent words to himself, completely unaware of her presence. She'd seen him concentrating before, grading papers while the class was taking quizzes and such, but she'd never been able to study him for more than a few seconds at a time, and as she'd deduced before, it was extremely captivating.

He was extremely captivating. And she told him as much.

Kind of.

"Look at you go," she mused, leaning forward on his desk and resting her chin in her hands.

Spencer jumped, sliding the book so it hit her elbows, and she laughed.

"Y/N, you scared me!" he gasped, clutching at his chest with his right hand. "Ho—how long have you been there?"

"A few minutes. I would've stopped you but you looked like you were in the zooone." Her fingers wiggled and tapped across her cheeks as her face still rested in her palms. A huge smile played at her lips, and despite almost being scared to death, Spencer found himself growing warmer at her amused self.

"Yeah, I guess I was," he stated, bringing his hands to slide the book back to him. He looked down at it for a moment before smiling. "I was actually re-reading it for a third time. After the first I went back to look at the notes I took, and after going through them pretty thoroughly I applied some..."

As he rambled on about the process in which he read, Y/N found herself in an even deeper trance than before. She wished more than anything that she could have payed attention to his words, so she could have a discussion about her favorite book with him, but his passion and commitment to something he didn't even know about until earlier in the day, much less something she of all people just threw at him, was just so...

"Doctor Reid?" she interrupted, almost slipping out of her hands when he stopped and tilted his head, suddenly invested in what she had to say. "Can I stop you for a second?"

"Oh.. Was I going too far? I'm sorry, as you know I tend to ramble quite a bit sometimes, and I know it can be a bit much..."

"No, that's not it. I've... gotta be honest with you about something."

"Hmm?"

She leaned forward, crossing her arms on the table and searching his eyes for a moment before speaking again. "I didn't hear a single word you just said. And I promise it's not because I'm not interested in having this conversation about The Da Vinci Code, it's... something else."

"What's wrong?"

He seemed genuinely concerned, and equally as clueless, and it did things to her insides that she hadn't felt with anyone in... well, ever.

"What's wrong is that I hate everybody. Well, hate is a strong word, and I only mean pretty much everybody that goes to school here, anyway, and it's been that way ever since my Freshman year. And yet... Somehow, I end up with this class, and in almost no time at all you've managed to learn more about me than anyone I've ever met in my three years here."

"Well... I—I'm an educator, I... it's my job to somewhat know my students."

"No, it's your job to teach me. Any other professor would have chewed my ass for saying what I said the other day, and instead you... well... I don't really know what that was the other day, but I didn't get in trouble for it. And then today you actively asked me about what I was reading and genuinely took interest in something you'd never even heard of before... And then you..." She threw her hands in the air. "You fucking read my favorite book three whole times in one day and took notes on it... Seriously, who... Who are you?"

Spencer wasn't sure what to say. Especially when all he wanted to do in that moment was tell her to keep talking to him. He found that he loved when she talked. Even when she was trying to figure him out, to understand why she'd been completely flipped inside and out by a man that was at least 20 years older than her.

Especially considering that on paper, the two of them didn't look like a conventional pair. He was tall, lean, and structurally beautiful in all the right ways, where as she was closed off and beautifully stand-offish. His skin was clear of anything and hers was adorned with tens of tattoos. His clothes were always formal and neat, while hers consisted of only jeans and plain tees and long sleeves.

If anyone saw them together, it wouldn't have made sense.

They both knew this, and yet...

"I am... utterly enchanted by you," Spencer said without thinking. He didn't have to. it was the truth.

Y/N's shoulders slumped, as if some sort of weight had been lifted from them. She smirked a little. "And I am... strangely not indifferent to you."

"Uh... Thanks?"

She laughed, genuinely laughed, and stood up. "That's a compliment, Doctor. A very good compliment."

That mischievous smile of hers returned, and it made his stomach turn over again, his own smile never wavering, and conveying every sense of wonderment that it could.

"I know this might be... unprofessional... And we definitely shouldn't do anything on school property, but... Would you maybe want to, uh... go get coffee or something some time this weekend?" he asked, trying his hardest not to feel small around her big personality.

"What, to discuss The Da Vinci Code, or to go on a date?"

By the look on her face, it was obvious that she knew they couldn't call it a date. As long as they were professionally involved like this, an actual date could never be on the table. But it seemed to be in her... rather playful nature to suggest it anyway.

The thought made his heart flutter again. Still, he said simply with a knowing smile, "To discuss The Da Vinci Code."

She nodded, throwing her bag over her shoulder and getting ready to leave. "Fine. But just so you're aware, there won't be anything stopping me from zoning out and staring at your beautiful face from time to time."

With all the truth in the world, he said, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

***

His middle finger tapped incessantly on the cool, wood surface of the picnic table in the park. It wasn't ideal to meet this far away from the nearest parking lot, but the little spot was far enough away that he was positive no one would see him meeting his student for lunch—a lunch she offered to bring despite his insisting on paying for food. In the end, it was clear that Y/N was more stubborn than he was.

That excited him.

Speaking of excitement, the moment he spotted her walking into sight, his heart rate picked up. And at the powerful surge of butterflies that swarmed in his stomach, he mentally berated himself for even feeling that way.

This was not a date.

And just when he thought he had things under control, she finally reached the table, set down a brown paper bag, and flashed him the prettiest smile he'd ever seen. Her hair was up in a low ponytail with small strands of hair sticking out and blowing in the light breeze. She wore jeans and a tight lavender tee shirt that ended just above her navel, and it had the word "Wednesday" printed on it in black block letters. It wasn't Wednesday, which equally confused and amused him, though because he'd already found her personality amusing enough, what she wore didn't matter.

Except... the more he took her in the more it really did matter, because he noticed more tattoos, which where usually covered with long sleeves and jackets, most likely as requested by the university. But under the soft glow of the September sun, he could clearly see a collage of tattoos running up her left side, disappearing under her shirt. Where it ended, he wasn't sure, but he couldn't dwell on it for too long, or he was afraid the mental images would turn his brain to mush.

Obviously he couldn't do that.

"Hey'a, Professor," she said with a little wink as she took a seat across from him.

"P—please. Outside the classroom, just Spencer is fine."

She gave him a knowing smirk and simply stated, "Okay," though there was nothing simple about it. Her words had an effect on him, and she knew how to play them to her advantage.

But she was apparently in the mood to be nice today, at least for now. Because she peeled back her playful tone and revealed something more friendly. Simple. She tilted the bag towards him and nodded.

"I brought us some subs, as requested. I hope I got your order right."

"I'm sure it's fine. Thank you."

Attempting to keep his cool around her, Spencer remained quiet as they ate. He also avoided looking at her for too long, because every time he did catch her eye she was staring at him, obviously amused as she finished off her sandwich.

But of course, at some point one of them needed to speak. Right?

So he took a sip of water and cleared his throat. "It's uh... It's really nice out today, yeah?"

Y/N laughed, tilting her head to the side and giving him a look that almost sent him flying backwards. "If that was you attempting to break the ice, Spencer, it was completely adorable... If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were nervous."

"I—No, I'm not nervous, wh—why would you think that?"

"Because you can barely look me in the eye, and then the first thing you say to me when we're finished eating is about the weather..."

She raised her eyebrow then, giving him ample opportunity to explain. So he sighed, a rather embarrassed laugh escaping his lips. "I'm sorry, it's just... You're kind of intimidating."

She gave another laugh, one that made his heart soar higher every time he heard it. "Oh please! You're my hot professor, if anything you should be the intimidating one here."

It was his turn to laugh. "Y/N, believe me, if you really knew me, you'd know I'm probably one of the least intimidating people on the planet."

There was a long pause before she nodded, a soft smile forming on her lips. "Well, then, maybe I should get to know you..."

Despite the tugging in the back of his mind that said it was a bad idea to form this close of a relationship with one of his students, especially one who made him feel all warm and fiery inside, he found himself smiling back in agreement.

***

The sun was setting by the time Spencer walked her back to her car. And after dropping off their garbage at one of the public trash bins, he found the walk rather calming. The breeze picked up a bit, somewhat settling the fire in the pit of his stomach as she talked to him about The Da Vinci Code. And then there was the fact that they'd actually spent hours talking, so much so that they hadn't even realized how late it had gotten. Needless to say, it was extremely rare for Spencer to find that type of connection to someone, the type that allowed him to speak back and forth so easily and without regret or embarrassment.

He was thinking about how nice that was when they finally stopped. In front of a motorcycle.

"Is... Wait, this is yours?" he asked her, obviously shocked but more disappointed that he hadn't guessed sooner, and probably a little too turned on than was appropriate.

"Yep," Y/N said proudly, tapping the glinting black metal. "It was a high school graduation present from my mom. She and I used to build motorcycles when I was growing up, and when we moved to the city it got pushed to the backburner. But I love this bike, I ride it everywhere."

"That's... Wow. That's nice." It was really all he could think to say as he looked at the bike and nowhere else. Because if he looked at her, especially standing next to the bike, it was sure to spell out disaster.

"So, where'd you park?" Y/N asked, pulling him from his trance.

"O—Oh. Um, I didn't. I took the train."

He didn't fully realize the weight of his words until a devious smile played at her lips. "Oh? Well... Do you want a ride home?"

"No! Uh... No, I can... I can take the train, it's not a big deal. Th—thank you though."

Despite his better judgement, Spencer looked up at her, and before him was a beautiful young woman with a gleam in her eyes and a pout on her lips that would have destroyed any man in a matter of seconds. Her hand was outstretched, dangling a shiny silver helmet from her fingers. It glinted in the soft orange glow of the sunset, tempting him in the most evil way possible.

"You've been so good to me, Professor. Let me take you home."

At this point, he had no idea whether or not she meant her words to sound as seductive as he'd heard them. His brain screamed, No! but... In the end he knew she was only being nice. She had to be... But it's not safe! Do you know how many motorcycle accidents there are per year?

Before he could stop himself, he sighed and took the helmet from her hands. "A—Are you sure?"

All his reservations were worth it to see the beaming, toothy smile that she gave him right then. "Of course! Besides, who wants to ride the train home for the thousandth time when you could ride a kickass motorcycle instead?"

He put the helmet on, laughing along with her though deep inside he was more than a little terrified. He'd never been on a motorcycle before— it wasn't ever something he thought about. And now he was about to get on the back of one with his student, who had tattoos and spunk and just about everything he didn't. She was incredibly pretty and smart, and now he was learning that she was a total badass in somewhat of a traditional sense as well.

Y/N climbed onto the bike and nodded at him to get on behind her. Thankfully she wasn't able to see how incredibly awkward he felt getting on, scooting up to press himself to her back and figuring out where to rest his hands.

"A couple rules," she said, taking the key from her pocket. "One: I need to know where you live."

"O—Oh, right."

He told her and then she nodded. "Good. I know where that is. Rule two: Try not to adjust yourself too much, it could throw us off. But honestly you don't have to worry about that. As long as you hang on to me, you'll be just fine."

"O—Okay. How should I, um..."

With a small laugh, Y/N reached behind her and grabbed his arms, bringing them around to her front. His stomach flipped at her touch, even long after it was gone.

"Hang on as tight as you need to, got it?" she called to him

"Okay."

"Good. Now. Final rule. Have fun. Look around. Feel the wind in your hair."

"But I'm wearing a helmet..."

Y/N started the bike then, and he jumped, bringing himself closer and squeezing her tightly. His face nestled into her neck as best as he could without distracting her, though she didn't seem phased by it in the least.

"You know what I mean," she called out to him. "You ready, Professor?"

"I think so!" he called back, squeezing his eyes shut despite her final rule.

"Alright, we're off!"

The bike lurched forward a few seconds later, and it took everything Spencer had not to yelp. He wasn't sure how tightly he clung to Y/N but as long as they were still going, he figured it was okay.

It was colder suddenly, and he knew that they were moving at a decent speed. So he took a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes, seeing buildings and trees go by in a flash. But the longer they rode around town, the easier he found it to breathe. While his grip around Y/N's front was still fairly tight, he'd definitely loosened up a little, and she could tell. His head was turning from side to side, looking at just about everything he could, and she couldn't see it, but he was smiling wide the whole time.

It was exhilarating. It was fun. And he couldn't remember the last time he had this much genuine fun, all worries completely erased from the mind and replaced with silent whoops of joy.

And then they stopped outside his apartment, and once the loud rumbling of the bike silenced, leaving his ears with a low thumping beat that raced alongside his heart, Spencer finally loosened his grip on Y/N completely. He got off the bike and whipped the helmet off, blood rushing through his veins like he'd just fallen out of an airplane.

He paced on the sidewalk, waiting for Y/N to put the bike in park and get off, and truthfully she was a little nervous. It was definitely weird giving your professor a ride home on your motorcycle, not to mention the added obvious sexual tension between you that shouldn't be there at all. She wondered if maybe she crossed a line, and she chewed her lip nervously as she stepped onto the sidewalk.

"Spencer?" she called out softly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm..." He stopped pacing and ran his hands through his hair, which was already pretty wild after being under the helmet— which was currently on the sidewalk.

Great, Y/N thought, I fucked up big time...

But he laughed, a wide smile adorning his pretty features as he looked at her. "I'm fantastic! Y/N, that was.. I can't believe I've never done that before! We weren't even going that fast, but it felt like we were flying!" He laughed then, the sound bringing a relieved smile to her face. And then he took a step closer to her and the relief quickly transformed into genuine joy and contentment.

"That was... incredible," Spencer breathed, his smile never faltering. "You... You're incredible."

She was going to thank him, but before she could say anything he strode to her in two steps and brought her face to his in a searing kiss.

Searing... That's exactly what it was, too. Y/N whimpered into his mouth at his intensity, the way his hands dwarfed the sides of her head and the way his lips moved feverishly against hers. She slipped her hands into his back pockets and brought him closer, her touch jolting him forward and walking them back over to the bike. They stumbled a bit before Y/N was able to gently lean against it.

Meanwhile Spencer couldn't contain himself. By now he was consumed in this fire that she'd set within him, burning down his every defense and sense of logic. He couldn't get enough of her, the way her hands kneaded his ass through his pockets, and how her tongue perfectly collided with his in every way. Each little moan and whimper she let out into his mouth spurred him forward until his fingers were threading into her hair, loosening her ponytail and no doubt gently tugging at her scalp.

If that bothered her, she didn't let on, her hunger matching his in every way.

Eventually, though, she felt herself leaning back too much, and she brought her hands out of his pockets to gently brace herself on the bike, steadying them.

But that didn't slow them down in the least. Truthfully, they weren't sure if they'd ever stop, drinking each other up right there as a few cars went by and the sun set behind them.

It wasn't until Spencer moved one of his hands down to her hip, searching for bare skin, fingers slowly sliding their way farther up her side, when a chorus of, "Ow ow owwww"s and whistles and hollers sounded behind them. He pulled away rather quickly, Y/N's teeth pulling at his bottom lip before he saw a truck full of teenagers whizzing past. They honked their horn and continued hollering until they rounded the corner, and by then the fire in his veins had significantly simmered.

He stepped away from her completely, combing through his hair and blinking, trying to collect his thoughts. But they came out as a jumbled mess. "I'm.. We shouldn't ha... I'm sorry... Y/N, that..."

"I—I know..." is all she said, still bracing herself on the bike.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, trying hard not to look at her. She was obviously rattled, though he thought she didn't mind. In fact, he was pretty sure by the way she was looking at him right then that she was ready to continue what they started, though she didn't do anything about it.

She did say, though, "It's okay. I'll, uh... See you Monday."

"Y—Yeah. Monday... Thanks f—for the ride."

His whole body was numb, fuzzy as she finally moved, walking over to her helmet and picking it up. She put it on and sat on the bike, putting the key in ignition before turning to him one last time and saying two words that sure enough ignited the fire again.

"Anytime, Spencer."

Long after she sped off around the corner, out of sight but most certainly not out of mind, he stood there on the sidewalk, his lips burning and his heart racing.

***

He wasn't sure what to expect on Monday, save for inevitable awkwardness between them, but he certainly wasn't expecting to see Y/N walk into the classroom early that morning with a box in her hands.

"Before you say anything, I just want to disclose that I'm willing to not make things weird," she announced as she made her way over to his desk. She set the box down, revealing six chocolate-frosted donuts with sprinkles. "You said you liked these the other day, so I brought some as a gift... You know, to... apologize."

"Oh, Y/N, you... You don't hav—"

"No. Please, just... Look, I didn't realize it at the time, because for a moment you weren't my professor, you were... You were my friend. And I know now that insisting to let me take you home was less than professional, and I'm sorry. I really was just trying to be nice, but I... I shouldn't have..."

"Y/N, I... kissed you... I'm the one who should apologize for being unprofessional. Really, I don't... I don't know what happened, I just..."

"Adrenaline... You... You were exhilarated and happy, and there was obvious chemistry between us that wouldn't have gotten that far if I hadn't asked you to hop on my bike, so... I'm sorry."

They both looked around, hoping it was still too early for anyone to show up, and then Spencer sighed, looking down at the donuts. "I shouldn't have asked you to lunch in the first place. I... I do want to have a connection with my students, but that's not... That wasn't my intention. I crossed a line I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry."

Y/N sighed, taking a donut from the box. "You know, we can't keep apologizing back and forth like this... So... Can we call it even? We're both sorry, we both fucked up, and we both promise to... act like it never happened?"

"Is... that what you want?" he asked softly, not entirely bringing his head up to look at her, but looking at her through his eyelashes.

His gaze sent a course of butterflies through her stomach, and she hated it. She hated that she was growing fond of her hot professor and that she couldn't stop thinking about his lips on hers and what they'd feel like roaming other places on her body— more specifically, over the tattoos on her skin that she always found him staring at from time to time. She hated that he was charming and pretty and smart, and she hated that he gave a shit about her.

That's why her throat burned like acid when she lied. "Yes. That's what I want."

And for the sake of professionalism, he was inclined to believe her, even though deep down his heart knew that she was lying to him. "Alright then. Thank you for the donuts."

She smiled, trying not to shake as she held her donut up in the air. "Anytime, Professor."

Then she took a bite and walked to her seat, the two of them eating in silence while they waited for class to start

***

The next two weeks went by seemingly slower and slower by the second. If it were a normal situation, Spencer and Y/N going back to their normal student-teacher routine would have been a good thing. And in a way, it most certainly was. However, they both felt plagued by their distance in a way that hadn't been so daunting in a long time.

Almost every day the girls behind Y/N would continue talking about their professor (quieter this time, though still loud enough that she could hear for herself). And every time they did, her thoughts inevitably dragged back to his lips on hers, soft and hard all at the same time, a feeling she knew she'd never be able to experience again. And then she'd glance up at him, seeing him concentrate as he graded papers or read a book, and her insides would burn once more, a reminder of everything she couldn't have.

Likewise, Spencer would be lecturing, glance over at Y/N by happenstance, and that low simmer returned to his veins, begging him to turn back now or re-enter the dark cloud of desire that threatened to ruin his career. He was thankfully able to recover quickly, though not without trying to quell the heat that flooded through his body at the remembrance of her kisses.

Each day was like a ticking time bomb. They waited until the semester was over— hopefully they wouldn't have to see each other and all could have been forgotten. But the days didn't want to fly. They wanted to ride on the back of a snail, just slugging along until it was almost painful to experience.

Even still, Spencer and Y/N went about their days until the semester was one week away from finishing.

It was Monday, class was just about to end, and then he called her over while everyone was chatting amongst themselves.

To say she was nervous was an understatement. Nonetheless, she made her way to his desk with as much normalcy as possible, and the closer she got to him, the warmer she got. It was exhausting, really.

"What's up?" she asked blankly.

"I just wanted to... congratulate you on your work. Truthfully, you've exceeded just about everyone else in terms of quiz and test scores, your work ethic is above average from what I've seen in most students... You're smart,, and you know the material really well. And... A colleague of mine and I are attending a seminar on profiling in New York, and I think you should come with. Present your final essay to the group."

Y/N blinked a few times. "Wait... You're serious?"

"Mhm. I've showed your work to my colleagues and they're all impressed by you. I'm... not exactly sure what your plans for your future are, but I really think you have something special here. And if... If it's not something that interests you, at least consider coming to the seminar anyway. Regardless, your work is exceptional and I think you should be proud of it. I... I know I am..."

The bell rang then, and everyone filtered out as Y/N stood there awkwardly, thinking everything over.

"I don't need an answer right away, but the seminar is on Saturday, so any time before then would be great. Think about it?"

She looked around to make sure no one was around before speaking, her throat tight. "You're not... just saying this because of... what we did? I mean, you really think I'm... I'm good enough to do this?"

Spencer's eyes softened, and against his better judgement, he reached a hand out to touch her shoulder. "I really do. I wasn't lying, you're exceptionally smart and you really could have a future in the FBI, not even as a profiler if you don't want to. But as always, it's your decision. All I'm asking is that you take some time to think about it. Is that okay?"

Y/N always knew that despite the attraction they had to each other, Spencer was a professional first, and he always did encourage her in her studies. She knew he saw something in her, something bright and worth teaching, worth growing, and in that moment, that's what his eyes conveyed. He truly believed in her, not because—or even in spite—of the forbidden moments and feelings they shared, but in addition to them. If anything their feelings were considered the addition here. Because while, yes, their bodies were buzzing at proximity to one another, their heads and their hearts were more connected in that moment than anything, with sheer understanding and care and belief for one another that extended past physical attraction.

Y/N smiled, nodding. "Okay. But I don't need to think about it. I'll go."

"Are you sure? You really don't have to say yes if you don't wa—"

"Yes. I'm sure. A—And thank you, Sp—ah, Professor. I... Thank you." She laughed a little, possibly the most flushed she'd ever been around him, and it made him smile

"Of course."

***

One thing they didn't really put into consideration was the fact that the semester was now over.

It was Saturday, the morning of the seminar, and Y/N was scheduled to fly with Spencer and his colleague, Doctor Tara Lewis, to New York City. Currently, Dr. Lewis was asleep, on the other side of the jet, and Y/N and Spencer were left awake, sitting across from each other and completely buzzing with energy.

You could see why this might have been a problem they hadn't considered.

Y/N wasn't technically his student anymore, and they'd became well aware of the fact after she showed up at the BAU, where she met the rest of Spencer's co-workers and friends. His family, from all she'd heard. And there was a conversation she couldn't help but overhear after they were soon set to leave.

"Now I know why you really brought her along." The voice belonged to Luke Alvez. She was sure of it— his voice was hard to forget. Especially when it was laced with suggestion.

"What do you mean?" Spencer asked.

As cute as his cluelessness was, Y/N couldn't help the bubbles of nerves that erupted  throughout her body like a torpedo shooting through water.

"You couldn't be more obvious if you tried, man. Sure, she's smart, and we all know it. But if what you've told us is true, she's also Mystery Motorcycle Mama."

"Wha—How do you know that?" Spencer exclaimed, obviously a little worried. Y/N couldn't say she blamed him.

"Oh, come on, a woman looking like that shows up, you expect me not to believe she's the one you made out with on the street? It wasn't hard to figure out."

The fact that he'd even told someone about that made her nerves rise. She'd wanted to talk to her mom about it for weeks but thought it might have caused trouble, too scared to even think about it.

Luke quelled some of the nervous tension though, when he said, "Don't worry about it, first of all, no one is going to say anything. Okay, and secondly, technically she's not your student anymore... What's stopping you?"

"W— She's a student, first of all, and... I don't know, we've finally gotten back to normal, I don't... I don't want to jeopardize that, especially now that we're going on this... trip together..."

This trip together... Y/N chewed the inside of her cheek, suddenly feeling a little warmer and a whole lot more anxious. It wasn't bad, though, more thoughtful. If anything she was interested to see how he'd react around her now that their professional relationship had somewhat come to a halt.

And now they were staring at each other on the jet. Y/N's fingers tapped gently against the table while Spencer's knee bounced rapidly. They were only twenty minutes out, and since they were on the jet it wouldn't be a long flight. But once again, time wouldn't fly. The only difference was, now there was nothing really standing in their path aside from the obvious taboo of it all. People always heard about teachers that got with former students, and it was always so scandalous.

And while it was obvious that they wouldn't be able to publicly say they were 'together', there was something like a barrier between them that had been shattered, or at least see-through in a way that it hadn't been before. It was a little easier to breathe, even, though they still somehow managed to take each others' breath away. It was always just a look, a little smile in the other person's direction, and all ability to function was gone.

The fact that they were still so captivated by each other, even through all the awkwardness and worry, was something that gave them hope. Hope that once this was all over and there was absolutely nothing stopping them from being together, they could still find their way back, and be just as connected to and enchanted by each other as they'd always been.

But for now, at least, they still had this seminar, something he'd only invited her to because of her academic achievements. And because of that, whatever happened between them had to be strictly professional

As if they hadn't already spent almost an entire semester repressing their feelings and only visiting each other in dreams.

***

The group spent the majority of the day getting a tour of the campus they were visiting. Their actual presentations wouldn't start until 7pm, where they'd speak in an auditorium that very much reminded Spencer of his own classroom.

After lunch, some more touring, and then dinner, the three of them found themselves back at their rooms, going over the material. Of course, Tara and Spencer were naturals since they'd both done a handful of teaching, but Y/N was nervous. She'd never given a big presentation like this before, even if it was only just reading sections of her essay that coincided with what Tara and Spencer were talking about.

"It's dumb," she said, slamming her papers on Tara's bed. "I shouldn't be this nervous about reading in front of people, especially since I'm such a goddamned delight in regular conversation."

Tara laughed. "You'll be great, I promise. You've read through it a million times, and even if you don't have it memorized, it'll be right there for you if you need it."

"I... I know." She started pacing a little, trying to even out her breathing. "But I... I've never done anything like this before and I... I don't want to mess up. I mean, Spencer believes in me, enough to have wanted me here, and I don't want... I don't want to let him down."

"You won't. Do... you know how I know?"

Y/N shook her head and sat down next to Tara, smoothing out the skirt she had on. She never wore skirts. She could have worn pants, but something pulled her to the short black fabric, and right now she didn't want to think about what that was. All she wanted to do was focus on calming her nerves.

"I know because... in the little amount of time that I've known you, I can tell how dedicated you are. How strong and smart you are. You know how to hold a room, and you know how to talk to people. And it helps that you know what you're talking about... You do know what you're talking about, right?"

Y/N laughed, genuinely laughed, and nodded.

"Then there you go. You'll be a natural."

The fact that one of Spencer's colleagues, whom he seemed to trust wholeheartedly, believed in her just as much, saw the same talent and dedication that he did, eased her troubled mind quite easily. She thought the worst was over, and to some degree it was.

She wasn't nervous anymore, worried that she'd disappoint Spencer, though when he knocked, came into her and Tara's room, and stopped, looking Y/N up and down with an enrapturement she hadn't seen on anyone's face before, her stomach dropped.

That look? It had been precisely why her mind begged her to put the skirt on instead of the pants.

The black velvet fabric was tight and ended mid-thigh, revealing half of a tattoo she had hidden— black and lavender flowers that matched the color of her blouse. It was a long-sleeve turtleneck that covered the tattoos on her arms and neck, but hugged her figure beautifully. Her hair was pinned up elegantly, loose strands framing the front of her face and big golden hoops dangling from her ears. Her face was completely void of the vivid makeup she always wore, replaced with a shiny, sheer lip gloss and simple eyeliner and mascara. The one thing that stood out, other than the tattoos visible on her thigh and her hands, was a golden eyebrow ring that glinted under the dim light of the hotel bedroom.

She was easily the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

And he had to stop himself from falling to his knees as he cleared his throat to talk. "Um, it's time to go."

The two of them were glad to have Tara as a buffer, because her "Alright, let's get going," while ushering them out the door made breathing a little easier.

So yes, Y/N certainly wasn't nervous about speaking in front of the crowd anymore. Rather, she was eager to see how focused Spencer would be during the presentation. It was hard enough for him to teach whenever she wore a particularly low-cut top in class—of course she noticed—so seeing her that closely, having her right there within his reach as they taught together, presented a jolt of excitement that gave her an extra boost of confidence.

Admittedly, though, the way she felt his eyes burn into her every cell made it extremely hard to concentrate on anything.

Nonetheless, Y/N, Spencer, and Tara eventually found themselves standing in front of maybe fifty people, students and administrators alike. Y/N swallowed hard, trying to push down any nerves that arose just then, but a soft hand at her lower back centered her.

"You're going to be great," Spencer whispered in her ear, his thumb gently stroking her back. She took a deep breath and nodded, feeling... thankful, in more ways than one.

The actual presentation itself was a breeze. With one encouraging nod from both Spencer and Tara, Y/N stood at one of the podiums and read off sections of her essay with clarity and confidence. Even though it was only a few paragraphs at a time, few and far in between when coupled with Spencer and Tara's detailed, more experienced presentations, Y/N was immensely proud of herself.

She felt like she belonged there. Not like in school, where everybody judged her because she was a loner. Here she didn't stand out, at least not in a jarring or negative way.

And Spencer could see all of it. As she stood there, speaking to the crowd, he took in her confidence, basking in it like it was the sun. Like she was the sun.

They took questions for a few minutes, and Y/N was obviously a little rattled, not expecting to get any questions of her own. But she answered each one with grace, practically beaming with pride and accomplishment.

***

Under the dim streetlights and with glittering snow behind her, she looked absolutely angelic.

Y/N and Spencer offered to wait outside while Tar talked with some of the administrators about coming back sometime in the Spring. But chances are, Y/N wouldn't be there, so Spencer wasn't even sure that he cared to come back. At least not right then, watching her pace around happily in the snow, her smile as wide and as radiant as he'd ever seen it.

"That was... I can't believe I did that!" She was in complete awe, and it reminded him of the day he hopped off her motorcycle and went on a similar tangent. The feeling of a rush, of pure, unadulterated joy... "I mean, I can because you believed in me, and I know it's probably kind of dumb to be this excited about a presentation, but like... I did it! I was..."

"You were a natural," Spencer mused, feeling his whole body warm at the sight of her smiling at him.

She stepped closer and closer, nodding. "I felt incredible."

"You are incredible..."

Once again they found themselves on the sidewalk, completely unbothered and so taken with each other it was hard to breathe.

And then she stepped forward and kissed him, much like he'd kissed her. Their lips melded like they'd never left in the first place, and that familiarity between them added fuel to an already significant flame.

Y/N threaded her fingers through his hair and reveled in his reciprocation as his tongue gently opened her mouth further. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her as tightly to him as he possibly could. And when she melted into him, giving herself over to him completely, he finally felt peace. Right then there was no worry, no awkwardness or burning tension that ate at him until he wasn't sure he could contain himself anymore... He simply just... was. He provided her with warmth and comfort, and in turn she provided him with a feeling of excitement... Of adventure and genuine fun and joy.

He never wanted to let her go.

While there wasn't a truck full of teenagers to break them out of their spell with whooping and hollering, there was a one Doctor Tara Lewis who cleared her throat.

"Sorry to interrupt," she said, highly amused. Meanwhile Spencer and Y/N split apart, refusing to look at her. "You ready to go?"

"Uh huh," Y/N said, at the same time Spencer said, "Yep."

Tara laughed, patting both of them on the shoulder as she walked in front of them.

Normally, they would have stayed apart from now on, but the only person they knew who could expose them was already there, and she clearly had no intentions of saying anything to hurt them.

So, Spencer reached out for Y/N's tattooed hand, and she took it gladly, staying close to him as they walked the two blocks to their hotel.

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[cant-think-of-anything]

I think part of the reason that there’s such a dissonance between what kind of character Matthew is ~supposed~ to have and what kind of poor traits shine through, especially in his treatment of Alastair, is not just because of CC’s poor handling of alcoholism (and, in my opinion, mental health issues and depression) but also because: Our first introduction to these characters happened a long ways before some major changes to TLH.

Namely… Alastair and Cordelia were basically white in CC’s original planning. There’s just no way around that. Their flower cards, where they’re not just whitewashed but purely white, prove that (and they STILL haven’t been updated, by the way.)

Also, Alastair’s hair: in CoG it was dyed blond, and CC wrote it off implicitly as a racism thing when she decided he was Persian (which I guess happened after the short story where we met Alastair and before TLH) , which would have been fine it if it was an arc written better. Except, I don’t think she realized that it would make Matthew’s comments about Alastair inherently and obviously racist, being a white author. And I doubt that it will be dealt with and named or even acknowledged outright in the final TLH installment.

Kind of the same thing with Cordelia. I’m not saying POC can’t have like red hair because obviously POC don’t come in a prepackaged set of five or six traits that are all configured randomly, but something has always rubbed me the wrong way about the way that CC writes the majority of her POC and especially WOC as exotic. I mean, Kamala as a character is to me a special favorite (even though CC did her dirty and didn’t do a good job portraying her character or intersectional identity) but I rolled my eyes so hard when she had lighter brown or “amber” eyes in canon or officially commissioned art. With Cordelia, I know CC once said she uses henna to redden her hair which is great for her, and I guess I have less of a bone to pick with that because it’s semi(?) realistic, but still. Also the fact that so much of her description as a beautiful person comes from her hair. Again that’s cool, and women of color should be loved wholly including being loved for the parts of them that they freely change (such as Cordelia’s hair) but… the proportion of the fixation on her hair as what makes her lovely rubs me the wrong way sometimes. I feel like it’s sometimes an out from CC making the ~scandalous~ decision that a woman of color can be beautiful because of the traits she is born with. Idk it’s just for me I had this long standing repulsion towards my colorings and my facial structure and white girls would tell me I was whiny about it and then I finally began to piece together things like “Eurocentric beauty standards.”

Going on a tangent slightly, but something else that bothered me was when Anna insulted Cordelia after buying her those dresses and everyone kinda treating it as a compliment? And just cause Cordelia, a fictional teenager, didn’t get mad about it doesn’t mean readers of color can’t see the underlying racism behind “Cordelia looks MUCH better in these dresses which are SUITED for her skin tone.”

I think that narrative could have been handled much better: if it was Cordelia picking out her own clothes as an act of maturity and self-realization and ownership, if Cordelia herself said (in a different way lol) “Damn right I can wear lavender ruffles if I want to and crimp my hair but I’m not going to let white fashion prevent me from outshining everyone because dark skinned women INVENTED jewel tones.” And I think some people will argue that Cordelia’s context makes this too self aware of a development but I would say that it would have been a powerful part of her development outside of her relationships, especially considering that she’s supposed to be a main protagonist. Full arcs for the win baby!

But even aside from all that what bothered me about Anna’s dresses was the fact that it was a white woman showing the “truth” or the “right way” or “saving” a woman of color, a trope which I don’t think CC intended but committed nonetheless. I think from a white author POV the thinking was “Anna is such a free bohemian who lives true to herself and she’s going to help Cordelia become that way too,” which irks me because I feel like that just worked against CC in terms of POC rep and also because that same ideology is used in an attempt to make Anna’s treatment of Kamala justified even though Anna as an out person, with racial and economic privilege and the support of an extensive and powerful family network, pressured and tormented Kamala into coming out.

I have a lot of thoughts on that relationship, mainly: it shouldn’t have been dragged out this long because from the beginning, Every Exquisite Thing, it was clear they were looking for different things. And if CC had left it at that and let them go on their separate ways after a week of knowing each other that would have been fine: Kamala can’t do an out and proud relationship and Anna doesn’t want secrecy, so they’ll develop on their own. And then later Kamala’s pursuit of Anna in the actual TLH books was I think meant to be a thing about “the lengths you’ll go for true love” but it felt forced. Honestly… It just feels icky. like this woman of color is just so hung up on this white woman who abuses her repeatedly and can’t handle her own misogyny and internalizations. And I hate that because both had such awesome potential! To me it’s less that I dislike Anna ( I’d need a whole other post to explain that) and more that I dislike CC for wanting so bad to claim sapphic rep but not wanting to put in the effort to portray it effectively- and pretty much all that entails is writing the relationship without acting like it exists in a pseudo-vacuum where the history and realities of interracial relationships and queerphobia don’t exist in the way we obviously recognize and experience.

And characters like Cordelia and Alastair are amazing and have so much potential; I think the true origin of the problems with their portrayal is that they weren’t really intended as POC or even queer representation in the first place. I don’t know if Cassie would have taken a different approach to her characterization had she known Alastair would be a brown gay man when she first introduced him, but I hope it would have at least made her more conscientious of the inherent application of colonialism and racism in her storytelling from that point onward.

I want to finally add that I’m not saying any portrayal of racism is bad. I’m saying that the racism in the story is not part of a conscious framework that critiques racism appropriately. I think CC wrote the beginnings of the narrative, decided she was going to develop the diversity point content, and then either didn’t look back at the older content to analyze it and the other (white characters) through a new lens of race and outsiderness and queer personhood, or she looked at it and didn’t know what to do with it, or looked at it and didn’t care.

Sorry this got so long! Thanks for listening.

- A.

I feel like CC handled everything poorly in regards to characters who had a lot of potential.

The fact that Cordelia and Alastair are both originally white and it's so obvious in the way every bit of racism is handled by the characters. Matthew's comments in CLS are very important and they should've been handled with the same severity that Alastair's words were. CC changing the characters to POC was a big decision and when she did so she should've went back and actually read her own material. I can assure you that it will not be handled in CHOT, my expectations for CC recognizing the importance and gravity in the words she writes regarding racism or any of her "implied racism" bullshit have gone to the ground.

Because while golden eyes are obviously so easy to write when discussing discrimination obviously racism is out of the question /j

THAT'S EXACTLY IT, women of color in these books are so pathetically rare that on the rare occurrence that she does write them they should all be given these features that aren't as common in POC and written as more beautiful because of those features. I read CHOG after I became more appreciative of my ethnic features but if I had read this a year or so ago? Or even if I had read it after just feeling insecure in general? It would've been awful. The implication is that the lighter features in POC are the most beautiful, with Cordelia's red hair being put on a higher pedestal than her dark eyes and Kamala's eyes being focused on more than her hair (because I literally went back and counted the numbers to prove it and it's exactly what happens.)

I'm sure Cordelia's hair is stunning, but it's the way that when she's described (or more accurately being sexualized) it is just her hair and body that is shown, not the color of her skin or the color of her eyes.

God the pastel thing pisses me off so much. It's not even that Anna tells Cordelia that she would look better in darker colors it's that she says it suits her skin tone. Implying that anyone with brown skin should be barred from wearing pastels. And Kamala? In the few times she is described, she's wearing dark colors or champagne gold, never light blue or purple or pink WHICH HONESTLY SUITS HER PERSONALITY. It's also the way that the dresses Anna sent her are described to be more revealing- it's weird. Anna barely knew her when she started dictating everything that Cordelia could put on her body.

“Damn right I can wear lavender ruffles if I want to and crimp my hair but I’m not going to let white fashion prevent me from outshining everyone because dark skinned women INVENTED jewel tones.”

I literally would have loved that. It recognizes that she doesn't need to follow these "rules" on what to wear but still shows her choosing what she wants to wear without making all the darker skinned readers feel like they can't wear a certain color.

I think what some people fail to realize is that these books are also aimed at upper elementary and middle school and a middle schooler with dark skin reading something like that? In a book with characters they love? It's going to be so harmful

Someone else mentioned that CC said Kamanna's relationship was complicated because Kamala didn't defend Anna: Defend her FROM WHAT? Literally what is there to threaten Anna?

These books are filled with tokenism and then praised for it. The idea of Kamala X Anna has so much potential but they're portrayed in such a toxic way. Throughout the last through books Kamala puts herself through so much guilt and regret and turmoil just for Anna to literally use her, blame her, and cast her aside. And it's so fucking annoying because it pushes this idea that this woman of color who was terrified and in an extremely vulnerable position is in the wrong for choosing her safety and presents them as guilty and shameful for doing such a thing.

I would disagree, the portrayal of racism is bad, because it is used at random points in the story and never brought up again, if you interduce racism take it seriously it's not the kind of thing you're meant to half-ass in a book thousands of people will read

I agree on everything else though, so much of these books are incredibly harmful and they are presented to a young audience so it's overall just a gross situation

Thank you for the ask though! I loved answering this, if you ever have anything else you're more than welcome to come back <3

[strawberry1212]

How Run On subverts the noble idiocy trope

Another week, another amazing two episodes from Run On!! This drama really hasn’t let me down, and I want to go into detail about one specific aspect I really like, before quickly reviewing the last two episodes as a whole.

One thing that really bothers me w Kdramas--and Kdrama fans will be familiar with this--is the noble idiocy trope. And this is a trope that is pretty uniquely Asian, I think because of a cultural tendency to put quiet sacrifice on a pedestal. In Japanese, we call in 我慢 (gaman). The trope has traditionally manifested in “rich guy parents threaten poor girl that she’s ruining his future, poor girl breaks up with rich guy “for his good”” or the same trope setting, but “rich guy breaks up with poor girl so that his parents won’t bully her.” Another very common version of this trope is the tangent to the Dying Sick Girl/Guy trope, where the sick person doesn’t tell the healthy person so that they may live on happily without them.

The issue with this trope is multifold. First, it is disrespectful. It is most respectful to tell the whole truth to a person, and let them make decisions about their own future. It is not your call to make decisions on behalf of them, pretending to know what is best for them. At it’s core, I think it’s honestly super rude and it feels like you don’t trust their judgement, and see them as a child, rather than a romantic partner.

Second, it drags on angst for no reason. It’s yet another thing that could be solved with a very quick conversation, but isn’t. I don’t know why show writers do not seem to get this, but as an audience it is simply boring, because the emotional tension is all false. It’s not like there’s actually any deep conflict, it’s just a misunderstanding.

It also upholds the romantic drama/romcom promise of The One True Perfect Love. Making it out as if the person is lying/hurting/breaking up for the good of the other person, allows for conflict, without ruining the fantasy that there could be no motive for the character’s actions other than The One True Perfect Love. It is in fact the overwhelming force of this One True Perfect Love that is destroying itself (hurting someone for their benefit, because you just love them so much), and there is no need for the writers to actually come up with other character motivations, flaws, etc.

And in the face of this, Run On completely departs to create an actual multi-dimensional, realistic conflict for the leads (and I am building on some of the thought’s written in this amazing blog post). It was absolutely painful to watch them (maybe?) break up at the end of the last episode, but the conflict was not rooted in some lame misunderstanding that could be cleared up with a conversation. And it was not their unrealistic, undying, all consuming love for each other that was the only motive to their actions.

Of course they want what is best for each other (especially Seongyeom, as it’s his dad that caused the problem, so of course he feels bad), but their relationship is also new, and the dad being a creepy and unethical snooper is an immense pressure on a new relationship that were realistically expressed. The lines I liked most were actually Mijoo’s, where she says “Must I continue seeing him at the expense of myself?...Why must I continue wearing shoes that don’t fit me?” Referencing an earlier scene where she gives him a book on self-love, and shows him the chapter that says “don’t wear shoes that don’t fit you.” Meaning, in the same way she wants him to learn to love himself, she also doesn’t want to sacrifice her own self-love for the benefit of dating him. And she goes onto say, “I am precious to myself, so I want to give up [on their relationship]...you said it was ok, to say a mistake.”

There’s quite a lot to unpack there, but I like how she is being honest about her emotions, but also aware that her words right now are emotionally charged and might not reflect her real thoughts, (”you said it was ok, to say a mistake”). But more importantly, her clearly stated motives are that she is important to herself. She values herself. It is not some noble idiocy that is motivating her to break up with him for his good or for the greater good--it is for herself. And that is so refreshing, in the Kdrama world where everything has to be done sacrificially in the name of romantic love, and self-love is covertly seen as selfish/conceited. I actually don’t know if I’ve even heard an Asian drama character ever even voice that they are precious/important to themselves, and will set boundaries accordingly. AHHHHH I love this drama so much...even in the heart wrenching break up scene where I was yelling “No! No! Noooo!” to the computer, it still managed to break stereotypes.

Some final thoughts on these two episodes: THE SECOND LEAD COUPLE FINALLY GOT TOGETHER!! Omg. My friend and I watching the drama together (check out her blog @dreamctz) replayed that scene so many times. Their banter about what she should call him (him wanting to graduate early so that she would stop calling him “haksaeng”/student) was just *chef’s kiss*. And are we going to talk about how Seongyeom’s dad literally said he thought it was too bad he couldn’t HIT MIJOO!! WTFFFFF. That gremlin can catch these hands before he so much as TOUCHES my queen Mijoo. Also Shin Saekyoung’s acting in this was really superb in this episode, just wanted to point that out.

Also! because I was talking about this with my friend, there’s an extension called Language Learning with Netflix that allows you to see the Korean CC, English translation, and when you hover your mouse over the Korean, you can see the definition/meaning of each word and save vocab words! Just thought it was a super cool extension--I use it when rewatching old shows I love! It only works w dramas that already have Korean CC, which Run On does, so excuse me while I rewatch my favorite scenes until next week :))

[macgyverseries]

rebutting and debunking frequently used arguments against macriley

I made this 10-page google doc rant a while ago, but I never ended up posting it. Today, however, I woke up and chose violence. So here it is: my thoughts on frequently used arguments against macriley.

I took some quotes and arguments that people put online (reddit, tumblr..), and I debunked them all :p I feel like I always see the same arguments all the time, and I’m honestly getting a little tired of hearing them. I’m here to settle this once and for all.

and yes, i did manage to cut down the google doc by 3 pages :D (but it's still long af so rip my brain)

1.”Mac and Riley are siblings because Jack is their father”

I can (mostly) get behind the argument that Mac and Riley shouldn’t be in a romantic relationship because of their super strong friendship. Some people really value that sole platonicness, and I get that.

But the argument that I can’t get behind is that: Mac and Riley are siblings because Jack is their father figure”

If you google the definition of “father,” the first result that comes up is: “a man in relation to his children.”

Now, Jack was definitely the father figure to Riley, and I would consider her his child. He raised her. He helped shape her ideals and upbringing.

Mac only met Jack when he left MIT. So it was pretty much after Mac was raised (by Bozer’s parents haha), that Jack really came into his life. Mac already became his own person. (also, I always saw Mac and Jack as more of a bromance)

So because Riley and Mac met Jack at different periods of their lives, and they were raised differently, I wouldn’t say that they were siblings who were raised by the same father.

2. “The show writers left the impression that there was a huge age gap between them”

I understand this a little. I do think Riley was introduced as pretty young and idk naive? Because she was literally in highschool, and then she went to prison, and then she got released into the wild. Personally, when I started watching the show, I googled the whole cast. So I started the show knowing that they were the same age.

And also, the more I got to know Riley, the more that I thought that Riley was more mature and had an old soul herself. I think it was because she was just a dynamic and round character, who is well-developed.

But, I get first impressions. I feel like once you get stuck on an impression, it’s hard to go away from that.

Also, Jack would’ve totally shipped macriley, and you can’t change my mind.

3. "Riley isn't ready for a relationship"

I honestly think that this argument should be more geared towards Mac. He needs to figure himself out and go to therapy ffs. However, this person targeted Riley (the literal queen), so I shall defend her:

I understand wanting Riley to take some time off, and figure herself out before going straight into another relationship with someone. But here’s the thing. Throughout the first few seasons Riley’s character was very well established, and she didn’t have any partners during that time. She has proven that she is a strong, well-rounded, independent woman (with or without a partner). So i think it is valid to say that she isn’t just some girl who only has boy toys. She is much more than that.

My next point is that Riley has made it clear that she wants a lasting relationship with someone who will support her. When talking with Mac in 4.04, we see her express her interest in a stable, healthy relationship. It’s not wrong to go out and look for that potential partner. This applies to everyone (not just fictional characters): It’s going to take a few relationships and self-discovery, to find a good relationship, and people shouldn’t be shamed for searching for that.

Riley has only ever had two major boyfriends that I remember. First was Billy; she took that relationship very seriously. She really did seem happy with him. It was a shame that he cheated on her. Second was Aubrey. She also took that relationship very seriously. She had been living with him for six months (and they even had the cutest date nights!) So I wouldn't say that Riley only has boy toys. She has meaningful relationships.

Lastly, I think this was written when season four started airing, but it’s been over a year (and a pandemic) since Riley has dated. I think enough time has passed.

*4. I had to split this one up because, oh boy, there is a lot to unpack here.

4a. “If that was the direction they’d chosen to take with that relationship from square one… My issue with it is that Mac and Riley were presented to us as friends/ found siblings for three years. There were NO romantic vibes to speak of between them..”

I actually felt the same way about macriley. The thought of them being together in season one, made me want to throw up. I don’t think the writers intended on having macriley, and I was perfectly fine with that.

I know that people look for different things when they ship. Some really like having instant gratification with the spicy, hot, sexy parts of a relationship, like macdesi (which is why I was fine with the idea of shipping macdesi in the past).

I always wanted to see macriley do more: have hot, flirtatious banters/interactions. it can be hard to ship people who seem to be missing that part of the love equation. So i agree. It's definitely strange. And I understand if you genuinely have a hard time seeing the romantic potential of macriley, when the writers have only dragged out and shown us the platonic potential of them.

Also, the reason why it is difficult to see macriley as romantic, was because they ALWAYS PRIORITIZED AND WERE DRIVEN on their friendship. A partner should be friends first, and then makeout buddies second.

But just because people start off as friends, doesn’t mean that they still don’t have that potential to be lovers. Because guess what?! Feelings change. It’s now canon that Riley has feelings for Mac, and Mac always had feelings for Riley (but never acted on it).

I'm sorry, but you like a boomer when you say “bAcK iN mY dAy, tHeY dIdN’t HaVe fEeLiNgS fOr EaCh oThEr.” like okaAAAyyYYyYY????? We are not “back in your day” anymore. We are in the present. We are in today. And today, macriley is real :)

4b. “There’s the incredibly tired trope where long-term coworkers suddenly catch feelings for each other out of nowhere”

Personally, I will never get tired of the friends to lovers trope. I think the fact that Mac and Riley had such a strong friendship and foundation is what makes them perfect. Again, I know that some people just like instant gratification, but I love when a couple can take their time to have depth, emotion, and realness in their relationship.

Obviously I am biased because I have so much love for this trope, it's my favorite trope, but I don't see why you would use the “it’s overused” as reasoning to hate a ship. Just because a trope is used a lot, doesn’t mean it is bad (that’s probably why it is so good lmao). I can understand getting tired of it, and growing a dislike towards a trope. For example, I have grown an extreme dislike towards the love triangle.

A bit of a tangent: But the difference between overusing love triangles and overusing friends to lovers, is that love triangles aren’t just commonly used tropes. They are cliches. They cause unwanted drama and unnecessary hurt to one character. Whereas friends to lovers doesn’t involve as much drama and pain for a character. It is more of just angst between two people. And we know that they will get together eventually with a happy ending. So it was never really problematic.

And even then, the great thing about overusing or utilizing tropes, is that they can act as a guide. It allows the show writers and cast to make it personal, make it their own, adding their own special flair to it

I just don’t see the “this trope is used a lot” as a valid reasoning for disliking a ship .It just seems like this commenter doesn’t like the friends to lovers trope for the sake of not liking it.

I could be very wrong in my assumption of this person’s thoughts on friends to lovers, maybe there is a deeper reasoning as to why they don’t like it, but the tone that i interpreted when i read this section, was that they don’t have a real reason to dislike it, it’s more of just because.

4c.“then there's the fact that Riley had a mostly single Mac in her life for 3-4 years and she never even considered him romantically until he was with someone else”

First: Riley didn’t CHOOSE to fall in love. You may recall that “emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”

Second: Mac was broken up with Desi when she caught feelings for him. Plus, the moment Riley saw that Mac and Desi were getting happy together, she moved out and gave them space. She sacrificed her own feelings for his happiness, despite the fact that her heart was breaking.

4d. “and finally, Mac not only still doesn't seem to even have Riley on his radar in that way but he literally told another woman that he loves her just last week. Neither of them look particularly good here if they get together now.”

I'm assuming that this was written when 4.12 first aired. I'm also assuming that this comment was more directed towards the idea of Mac and Riley getting together immediately at the end of the season, rather than later down the road. I always saw of macriley as more of endgame material. That i would see them get together sometime in the future. So I agree. Macriley getting together during that time period, would be too rushed and unsatisfying.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So those were most of the supposed arguments that I saw for people who were against macriley, but I also wanted to provide some really good examples of people who were very respectable, and actually had valid reasoning for disliking them.

1. they just don’t like shipping in general

Ships can be annoying af. Seeing people ONLY focus on the ships is sometimes tiring. I, myself, even feel a little guilty making this post, because I need to chill and mind my own business lmaooo. I really should let people do whatever they want to do with their lives, and not get caught up in the ships, but here I am :p

Anyways, I know that there is a lot of unnecessary drama that comes with shipping, and it's tiring to see people constantly go on and on about romance, when there are other perfect things about the show.

2. No matter how hard they try, they just feel it.

This is literally so dumb (and a little hypocritical/self-contradictory), but if you have a gut feeling, and you just can’t get yourself to ship it, I get it. If you truly and genuinely believe that they are best platonic friends, I can't change your opinion. And I have respect for you (if you say it in a kind manner).

Here is a nice example of a person who expressed their opinion in a nice way, with no BS.

So the moral of the story: I can't control your deepest thoughts. I can't control your gut feelings. And that’s okay. But the moment that you start backing up your thoughts and insights with BS reasoning, is the moment that I lose respect for you.

[aviorsgf]

Hello there, I was hoping you could match me up with one of the bois in the freelancer series (and with one of the werewolves but I don’t know if I can ask for two) from (our lord and savior) Redacted ASMR ?

My name is Melina I go by She/Her, last time I checked I was an INTJ and I am a Libra Rising, Taurus sun, Aquarius Moon. I am chubby, and 5’5 in height. I am the typical nerd trope, and I am an introvert and not very social so someone who is extroverted would be nice. Although remember that am an Aquarius moon so when we get closer I become a goof ball. I really like diving into “weird topics” like astrology, Crystals, spiritual, I like theories, and I also am into psychology and I am currently learning about coding. I have been really into experimenting with makeup looks as of lately. I like reading and listening to music, my favorite color is red. I am pretty sure my love language is touch and quality time, I really like joking around with people that I love. So yeah I don’t really know what else to say so I hope this is enough.

hi love!! this is plenty, don’t worry :).

first, i’m pairing you with…

our lovely empath, caelum.

- let’s just be honest, you two would get along perfectly. your energies would match; there would never be a dull moment.

- he’d understand if you wouldn’t want to go out and be social one day, so he’d excitedly suggest that the two of you would do something at home, away from the rest of the world.

- whenever you go on a tangent about any of your interests or the topics you like, he’d definitely sit and listen to your every word with wide eyes, eager to learn more.

- to be very honest, i feel like he’d lowkey be a reader as well. so the two of you would take turns reading each other’s favorite books.

- since quality time is your love language, caelum would definitely have no issue with spending all his time with you. whether that be watching movies together, or helping you study. he’d be there, hoping that you’re comforted by his company.

and finally i’m pairing you with…

the beta of the pack, asher.

- just like caelum, asher would definitely match your energy. everyday is an adventure with him.

- since making forts and playing video games are his things, expect to be doing that with him often. (it’s pretty much a daily thing tbh).

- need a makeup model? he’s your man. he’d be happy to help you further your knowledge of applying makeup. does he get laughed at by david and milo? of course. but if it’s making you happy, he doesn’t mind the playful ridicule.

- he’d pick up an interest in astrology and crystals, which might take you by surprise. but once he heard you talk so passionately about them, he decided to learn more. and then he got hooked.

- overall, he’d be a major support system for you. need some snacks while you study? he’s there. wanna just chill and listen to music? he’ll make a playlist specifically for you. asher will definitely be right there whenever you need him.

thank you for the request!! hope you liked it :D

[to-fu]

not gonna lie, i've been curious about your version of erin beaker for some time now. would you ever want to talk about it? 👀

oh wow i don’t know if you saw me mentioning having a specific interpretation of erin somewhere in the server (if i did?) or if this is just random but you sure are in luck because i have a lot to say! get ready for lukewarm takes and my inability to keep things short without going off five tangents, let’s go under the readmore

first off, i want to mention that i am quite the 'canon purist' for most things in ts2 lore because i feel like there's so much left open to interpretation that i’d rather be grounded by the few canon elements present in the storylines. but when it comes to characters that are less fleshed out (like any of the singles) i think it's easier to get away with more.

with erin specifically, i like looking at the context around her (her living situation, her relationship with her brother, her ts3 family etc) as much as possible to determine what to make of her. of course she has some type of correlation to two of my favorite premades in ts2, so i found myself thinking about her more often with time, trying to determine what to make of these connections too while i was at it.

let's start with how erin is perceived by the community. i’m gonna be generalizing here so i hope this doesn’t come off as if i’m pointing accusing fingers at anyone. i’m just gonna describe dynamics i usually see around, at the end of the day the best part of the sims is that every storyline is different yadda yadda. erin is usually characterized as an airhead of sorts, sometimes dense sometimes not depending on who’s writing her, a goody two shoes, either really interested in distancing herself from whatever loki & circe have going on at the castle, or getting as involved as possible with the sole purpose of saving nervous (and usually ending up in a relationship with him) as his personal guardian angel (i could get into the several reasons why i don't like nervous and erin together but that's not what this is about so we'll just move on)

something to think about to understand my reasoning is erin’s childhood. the beaker family (bjorn, gundrun, loki and erin) is implied to be moderately rich right from ts3; in ts2 both loki and erin have memories of growing up well, being taught their toddler skills by both parents, and in general there doesn't seem to be any imbalance between the two in terms of what their parents provided for them. so when we compare that similar background to how they ended up as adults, it creates a pretty stark contrast.

i remember for quite some time i had this idea of the singles living together not out of necessity, but erin actually owning whatever house the player assigned to them, and the other three just being renters (also because neither of the available houses they can afford look like perfect fits for four adults so i just think it's more likely that erin just winged it for extra money and put some rooms up for rent), because to me it's hard to believe bjorn and gundrun left loki a castle and nothing to erin. unless of course loki bought it with part of his money but it still leaves us with the question, what about erin's part of the inheritance, considering the memories don't really imply them having a greatly favored child? so i just think it's more realistic to think they'd manage to get each a house, except loki is extra like that and settled on a castle.

now, in terms of personality, i talked about childhood because i feel like it's unlikely that she's that far off from loki. i know the problem child (loki) trope is common and all but i don’t think this is the case. for sure, she's more bubbly, less mean in the "i will get out of my way to hurt people regardless if they've done something to me or not" sense, but i still think there must be some type of "i'm better than everyone else in the room" genes to her.

nothing in her bio implies she's "the complete opposite of her brother" or anything like that, which would have made my points completely invalid, her personality points are not as extreme in any direction, so personally speaking i see her more as a petty type, rather than villainy like her brother. she strikes me a lot as, loosely, a regina george kind of woman, and one who thrives off drama. unlike kristen, who i believe is a more toned down individual in this aspect, erin actually responds to chloe's mean streak towards them just as viciously. erin is ultimately nice to the sims who are on her good side, but the moment they cross her, it only takes a minor, trivial thing to start planning petty vendettas against them to execute two weeks later after everyone else has moved on. she's someone who likes being at the center of attention way too much (popularity aspiration + thinking she's psychic + having loki as a brother) and is ready to do anything to get things to go her way. she gets along with kristen and lola mostly for the fact that the both of them are ambitious career-wise but much more laid-back in casual, mundane scenarios, and they're both nicer than she is so they don't want any unnecessary drama out of her. the fact that she doesn't know circe i think was unintentional on the devs' part, because no way loki wouldn't invite literally everyone at their wedding to flex, so i chose to interpret it in a few different ways because they all make sense to me, from "mutually despising each other'' to "getting along as acquaintances only to endearingly shit on loki".

of course, take everything i’ve said with a grain of salt, this is just my attempt to make her a bit more interesting in my head, and something i’ve been toying around for my own enjoyment.

to finish this off, i think this video pretty much encapsulates everything i've said much better than my ten paragraphs will ever do. cheers!

[bunny-wk-fanfic]

This Is Brought To You By

The door opened to a rustic cabin, the natural wood glowing amber thanks to a roaring fire. Worn dark leather seating seemed hazy thanks to said fire light, each piled with plush pillows and draped with cozy throws or blankets. A low table had been laid out with candles, a bottle of wine was being kept chilled in a classy and slightly modern ice bucket with two glasses just off to the side. The only splash of color amongst the glow of the fire, the natural wood and stone textures were a small handful of red roses, loose petals just lightly scattered about. With the help of the slow jazz playing softly in the background, it made for a very romantic atmosphere.

"Well, hello there." the male voice was a slightly low purring drawl, drawing attention to the male figure sprawled across an almost stereotypical bear rug. "Deadpool here. Hopefully, while reading this, you're hearing the voice of a certain sexy male Canadian. I'm sure you know the one. And I don't mean the short, hairy one with anger issues and kitty claws and a fondness for cigars. Unless of course said angry man is being represented by a beautiful, beautiful wild Australian man. Because if then, well, lather me in hot sauce and spank my Chimichanga. But I'm getting off track here."

Fingers drummed against a knee, drawing the attention to the missing and familiar red and black outfit, and more importantly, to the lack of proper attire.

"Yes, my current outfit has to do with the reason we are here today. It's come to my attention, that it's been some time since we last met, or that our beloved writer has written anything involving our favorite woman. And more importantly, our favorite woman when involved with me." a single white rose was plucked from behind, waved about as if a magic wand, and dragged across a scarcely clad male thigh that was pocked with fresh wounds that were instantly scaring. "As such, I decided to… encourage our beloved writer into bringing us all together once again."

With a dramatic wave of limbs, he moved from reclining on his side, that screamed 'Paint my like your French women', to leaning back on his elbows. The pale pink satin nighty, the atmosphere, and the pose would have been more than alluring were the one in said pose a woman. With the male, the nighty was rather comically stretched across his frame, though covering everything important, the sheer robe with fluffy cuffs only adding to the oddity of the entire situation. It clashed with the fact that he still wore his iconic red and black full head cowl.

"Now, our lovely writer might say otherwise about my encouragement, calling it nagging, whining or say I simply began to annoy her until she finally relented. Ignore those words and continue to read mine with the amazing drawl of a voice provided by the Canadian sex symbol; my pal, my bosom buddy, Ryan Reynolds." the white rose bobbed to the beat of the low music, tapping against a hip every so often.

"Now, back unto the reason why we're here. Honestly? I was lonely and wanted some cuddles with my lovely, lovely Kagome." noticing that it was just the male lounging in the open living space, he was quick to wave a hand. "Don't worry, don't worry! My girl is currently enjoying a much-needed hot bubble bath. One, I wish I was taking part of, but felt this little conversation was, at the time, more prudent. How could I feel that? Simple. I had the desire that everyone read this in Reynolds voice, nothing more and nothing less. Though if we are asking for more, and I know what you all want, I on the other hand, wouldn't mind lathering my girl in rich and real Canadian maple syrup and eating my midnight pancake snacks off of her, but maybe later. So while Kagome is taking this time to prepare for a very adventurous night right here on this vegan friendly-faux-bear fur rug, I'll fill that time with hanging out with you lovely little readers. Because without you, though more so my unannounced arrival and delayed departure, we wouldn't be here right now."

Happy humming could now be heard from behind a closed door just off to the side, the male giving a little jiggle in his spot in excitement. The rose momentarily used to fan himself, though just how useful it was as such, needed to be questioned at a later time.

"Now I'm sure there are a few things you all wish to talk about; my last movie with the fridge trope, which I myself can only say thanks to the writers for that one. Thanks guys, I've always wanted more trauma and torture to sprinkled in my life." a finger was wagged, tongue tisking against his teeth, though the sound was slightly muffled due to his mask.

"Or when my next film will come out, and if so, will it be part of the Marvel Universe. This is where you show your true love and devotion. I ask you, lovely readers, to go out and use the internet, haul out the trolls if need be, and ask, beg, and cry for me to be part of Marvel. Not that I want to, not really, it's just principle. What with their large budgets, CGI teams, writers, directors and a full cast. Honestly, a whole school of mutants gone save for three at a single extended time? For what purpose, 'cause I doubt they all went on some sort of field trip or vacation, but what do I know, I failed out of 5th grade. But, not really." his head tipped to the side, possibly staring in the direction of where the bathroom was, it was hard to tell with his face actually covered to know for sure.

"I mean, who wants to be part of that depressing team? All that self-sacrificing for the greater good?" he gave a few bobs of the rose in his hand as his head tipped back, almost as if in contemplation. "Though let's be honest, we all know I would survive an alien with a California Raisin on steroids for a chin, snapping their fingers. And then I'd introduce said alien to my Desert Eagles Mark XIX while recruiting Ant-Man to tickle where the sun never shines before becoming… Anti-Ant-Man? I honestly don't know what to call him in his Ultraman form, wait, does that make him a magical-boy or a science-boy? Right, Ant-Man shrinking to tickle where sun don't shine for hurting my favorite Web-Head super bro." the rose now tapped where his mouth was, though again, it was hidden by his mask. "And it would be super hot to watch Kagome kick his ass. I wonder what she would wear… Something skin tight? Revealing? Her old school uniform?"

A door opening, even though quiet, drowned out his muttering, the candles flickered as steam billowed out of the bathroom before quickly dissipating the further it billowed into the open space. "Are you talking to White and Yellow again?" a female figure left the dark bathroom, her form covered with a short semi sheer dark pink bathrobe of her own. Her hands were raised just enough to free her hair from beneath the robe, though she paused when she really took a look at the sprawled out male. "...I thought that was supposed to be a gift for me?"

Snickering, he trailed the rose down from his mouth, his neck, down his chest stopping just above his stomach. "Don't you think I look sexy in this?" it was always so amusing to tease and rile her when he wore risqué outfits, namely hers.

Finishing in freeing her hair, she eyed his form. Yes, his skin was pocked and disfigured from him constantly getting open sores and his abilities nearly immediately healing them. But beyond that, his form was all carved muscle, no doubt from years of being a mercenary. While yes, he was larger with the shoulders strong, he had a slight swimmer's build. It didn't lack-

"Ah, sorry for the intermission. Our writer took a few days to… deal with life I guess. How boring." shoulders shrugged, waving off the confused expression from his fairer companion. "Of course, it would happen when describing my awesome and amazingly sexy self." an actual pout could be seen through his mask.

"I will admit, you are sexy." the purring drawl from Kagome drew his attention again, her words and tone revealing she either decided she was going to ignore him going off tangent or just that she was used to it at this point, body freezing when her hands began with removing the sash that kept her own coverings secure. "I'm just not sure that shade of pink is quite your color. Maybe you should stick to your usual colors?"

The moment, the robe dropped and pooled around her feet, revealed a feminine figure dripping in curves with subtle musculature that showed she kept up with her own training, he froze. She wore a set of red and black satin and lace that covered pale skin. It covered a little more than what most would normally deem sexy lingerie, with slightly wider straps, but they accentuated her curves, drawing attention to them. And the thin ribbons that accompanied and mimicked, as well as help the lace that helped cover stiffening peeks, made her look more like a present just waiting to be unwrapped.

"Well, what do you think of my gift to you?" legs crossed slightly as hands once again rose to lift her hair to both reveal her neck and shoulders as well as lift her chest, she stood posed before him, basking in the golden glow of the fireplace behind him.

The white rose that had been resting near his hip instantly perked up, a white petal flying off at the somewhat harsh and sudden movement. Despite it being a mask, the white 'eyes' widened as the mask shifted to show that his jaw dropped.

"I'll take your silence as a, 'I likey'?" she giggled as she dropped her hands, they followed the curves of her body, no doubt drawing his gaze from behind the mask to follow with. Slowly, with a slight predator grace, she lowered to her knees and began to crawl up his form, leaving a trail of kisses behind her that glittered from both the fire light as well as her own abilities to help heal him.

Tossing the rose without a care, he reached forward to trace her curves for himself, not stopping as her own hands reached forward to lift and remove his mask. Lips curved up when she reached forward to kiss him. It was sweet, a simple press of her lips against his own. His smile grew when he quickly ended the sweetness by reaching for that delightful curve of her ass that shook playfully in his grasp.

The gasp that was let out was easily and eagerly swallowed, tongue dipping between lush lips to tangle with her own. With where his grip was, he pulled her closer to settle in his lap. Trailing lips away from her own to nip down her jaw and neck, he smirked against her warm skin.

Pausing, brown eyes narrowed as he turned away from the purring woman in his lap. "Oi, what are you still doing here? This ain't no peep-show! Go away. Read a book, play a game, watch a movie. I hear that new one about a guy named Guy wanting to be free or something, is worth the watch. And if my pal Ryan is in it, ya know it's good. Now," a hand reluctantly left the span of leg it had been caressing with a waving motion. "Shoo."

Turning away, leaving behind the couple and the sounds of giggles and kissing echoed loudly over the crackles and pops from the fireplace. A quick squeal that turned into laughter that was followed by a masculine whine at the sound of fabric tearing just set the pace of what was to come. And who was in charge of this nights shenanigans. A door closing muffled the sounds as the cool evening draped across the forest, leaving only the crickets in the distance and even further off cries of wolves the only sounds to echo.

Message delivered, though the exacts of what the message actually was seemed to have been lost. But it had been shared, and that seemed to be all that had been important. It did leave questions of what the future held, and if there would be any further important messages that would need to be shared. Who knows. Guess the game of 'wait and see' was going to have to be played.

AN: Don't ask. Please don't. I will say this, I was at work when I literally/figuratively heard Deadpool/Ryan Reynold's voice pop out from no where and bug me until I started writing this down. And when I lost the flow for a few days, it came back until I managed to finish it. So now I'm posting it here and cleaning my hands of it. I hope you can find some enjoyment in, I know I'm going to enjoy the peace and quiet.

As always; read, enjoy, and please review! - BunnyWK

[trconlyme]

Okay,

I really like team 7 (both Naruto's and Boruto's).

But I have to say that my FAVORITE mixed Shonen squad is Jujutsu Kaisen's 1st Years, Gojo Team.

They are really in sync, and at first glance we might draw some parallels to Kishimoto's adorable genin: we have the lovable fool with sealed murderous demon, the cool brooding guy with a majestic bloodline and a sad background, the energic fierce girl with a loud personality and the genius white haired apparently neglectful but caring sensei.

But I feel that in jujutsu the gang is more balanced. Maybe it's the fact that they view each other as equals and are developed with similar care.

It is clear that Itadori is the protagonist. And we have a hidden legacy power awaiting Megumi down the line. But Nobara has her own goals and motivations that do not relate in any way to the boys. Not to mention the progression of her powers and personality. This is something I always felt Sakura could have benefited more from. Don't get me wrong, I'm a complete Sakura fan. But I feel that much of her growth was a bit overshadowed by the fact that all of her story revolved around Sasuke and Naruto. And she didn't get much attention from kishi, compared to the boys, or even Kakashi. So her character always seemed a little shallow. This is the same Bleach and even My Hero Academia (the girls are never as explored or acknowledged as the guys)

And this is pattern repeated across the shonen genre. A pattern that has no real reason to exist, since girls also are considered an audience for the genre and having female as protagonists, or at least well developed characters, only makes the work better (ask Miyazaki).

Kishimoto once said that he did not know how to write female characters. A good start point would be to pretend they are guys. Attribute to them the same depth of feeling you would to a male character. Do for them the same complex story and motivations. And have them be females at the end.

No need for the overly dramatic antics (comedy might be excused), no need to focus only on the romance plot (it is usually the main plot for the girl and a subplot for the boy), no need for shallow stereotypes. I don't even mind the fan service, do go on to sell your merch. But I bet you would sell even more if the characters were more interesting.

We have had some development on the shonen female character trope: the Promised Neverland gave us protagonist perfection on Emma (including talking no jutsu). Not to mention villain master Mom and side villain.

Shingeki no Kyogin gave us bad ass Mikasa (more or less since her life revolves around Eren, but it's understandable why), it also gave us a plethora of good and diverse female soldiers and even a mad sadistic scientist!

Black Clover (bad animation as it may have) gave us Noelle (she may be head over heels for Asta, but her plot is about self worth, untapped potential and overcoming trauma), she has a back story, goals, motivation and powers unrelated to Asta. All the female characters in black clover seem to have a love story going on, which is a pity. But at least they are as strong as the male characters.

And I don't say we should only have badass female characters that are stronger then anybody. But also several types of strenght and weaknesses. What I want to see more are COMPLEX WELL DEVELOPED FEMALE CHARACTERS. Just as we have male ones.

We could also mention Fairy Tail and One Piece as early examples of female characters on the same level as male ones (at least on some aspects)

And then we have Nobara and Jujutsu Kaisen.

Not as strong as the others, still beggining, but with potential. She has a strong personality, a simple and yet nice background. A flawed and still lovable character. She is selfish and considerate, childish and brave. Pragmatic and loyal. She becames friends with the guys (which is much more believable than falling for any of them) and interacts with them like a normal girl. Kishimoto once said that Sakura was supposed to be a normal teenage girl. But I feel like Nobara is a much more faithful depiction of one (either western or Eastern). Including the "shallow" interests of shopping, eating sweets, sightseeing and etc.

We also have a female version of rock Lee sort of. Not able to see curses, but still a master of cursed weapons. I remember thinking why Rock Lee couldn't be female, and now we have a version that is just soooo good!

I love Nobara and the characters of Jujutsu. I hope we see more of this type of female characters in shonen. And I love the interaction of the main trio.

I love the anime I talked about and by no means do I want to shit on them. Anime has come a long way with female representation. All I'm saying is that we can go further, we need to go further.

I know I went on a tangent here, but well. It's my Tumblr.

Thank you for reading my essay.