#I didn’t spend lots of time editing because I’m being lazy

[beaker1636]

A Love Reunited - Ricky Smut/Fluff

A/N: I don’t know why my mind went towards a sappy fluffy cute smut but it did so hopefully you enjoy this anon! I didn’t edit this so they’re maybe some typos, also I upload via mobile so if the formatting is ever off I am sorry! Enjoy!

Edit: for some reason tumblr won’t let me add the imagine below the photo so it’s all wonky. Sorry!

Sighing you clock out at work and make your way out the door, extra glad it is finally the weekend after a long week, but also a little disappointed to be making your way home to your apartment alone. Your boyfriend Ricky is away on tour and unfortunately there is still about a week left before he can be home.

You decide to send him a quick message before you start the drive home, letting him know that you are thinking of him and miss him.

When you pull into your driveway you notice that you have a message so you take your phone out as you walk towards your front door.

“Good thing we got home early then,” you read.

You quickly unlock your front door when you got the message, looking up to immediately gasp. Wasting no time you make your way to where he sits on your couch, sit down on his lap facing him and bury your face in his neck. His arms snake around you, holding you to him tightly as you both sit there in the silence for a couple minutes to embrace and take comfort in being together again.

“Something came up and the tour ended a week early, so I decided to surprise you after work today,” he says softly in your ear, not wanting to let go of you as the two months you were apart has taken a toll on not just you but him as well.

“I missed you so much,” you mumble, trying not to embarrass yourself by happy crying.

The timer in the oven goes off, forcing you to separate from eachother.

“Go sit at the table, I will have dinner out for us in a minute,” he says kissing your forehead as he slips by you and into your kitchen.

You make your way to the dining room table ad smile when you see that there is a beautiful bouquet of flowers itting on it, and candles are lit around the room giving a romantic feel towards the meal, which melts your heart at the effort that he made to do something for you despite the fact you know he must be tired from the tour.

Rick comes out with your plates and then heads back into the kitchen to grab you both a couple of glasses of wine before he takes a seat next to you at the table.

“You didn’t have to do all of this for me, I know you must be exhausted after such a long tour,” you say as you start to eat the wonderful meal that he has cooked.

“I wanted to do something nice for you when I got back because this was the first tour we’ve been through together and I know it is a lot for you as well. I figured we have a nice at home date tonight and then we can spend the weekend being lazy and lying around together. After your week you probably need it too,” he responds back, reaching over to lightly squeeze your thigh under the table.

The two of you continue to eat, Rick telling you all about the fun and weird moments of the tour. Most of this he has already told you during your facetime chats but you still gladly listen to him as its been so long since you have heard him talk in person.

When you both finish eating you move closer to him so that you can give him a kiss, giggling when he pulls you out of your chair and onto his lap, not expecting the sudden playful moment.

“I’m so glad you are home, I missed you so much. I know you would never do anything but just knowing you meet so many fans makes me anxious, you never know what they could do or if you would meet someone better,” you admit shyly as you start to lightly play with his hair, loving the silky feel of it in your hands.

“Baby, listen to me. I don’t want anyone else. Noone comes close to you or how I feel about you,” he brushes your cheek with his thumb, which makes you look at him and making eye contact.

He leans down to gently kiss you again, but this time feels a lot different than any the two of you have ever shared with eachother. You can’t place why but you don’t question it, quickly giving in to the feeling and losing all sense of what is happening around you.

You can feel him smile in the kiss which makes you smile as well. Lightly Rick tugs on your lip with his teeth, your tongues lazily meeting. You can’t help but love how soft and gentle everything is right now. These slow sweet moments together are rare and you haven’t been able to have on in awhile.

His hands trail down your sides before landing on our ass and resting there for a moment before he pulls his lips away from yours just slightly.

“Why don’t we move this to our bed? You can show me how much you missed me,” he whispers, his breath ghosts across your lips making you shudder.

Rather than answering you get up off his lap and grab his hand, leading him out of the dining room and to your bedroom.

Both of you lay down on your sides facing eachother, lips quickly colliding with eachothers again only this time is more heated, both of you getting needy for contact that you have been missing.

One of his hands is resting on your hip as the other is in your hair, holding you closely to him. Slowly he pushs on you, letting you know that he wants you to lay down on your back which you happily do.

His hands teasingly rub the skin of your stomach which is now exposed from your shirt riding up slightly. Trailing his hands softly up your torso until they make their way back down towards the hem of your shirt, which he grabs and slides off of you, your bra quickly going with it while you blush.

The two of you have only been together like this a handful of times before he had to leave for the tour, so despite wanting it you still can’t help but feel shy when he looks at your body.

He gives you another quick soft kiss that is over before you can register that it had begun before they lightly start to ghost from your ear down to your throat. At the same time one of his hands moves to cup a breast, lightly kneading it before starting to roll your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Even after all this time he still takes satisfaction in teasing you.

He know that he finds your sensitive spot on your throat when you gasp and tilt your head allowing him more access to continue leaving marks along the path, because you know that he has to be at that point.

Reaching inbetween the both of you you decide to unbutton his jeans, sliding them down slightly along with his boxers.

He adjusts so that he can kick his them off the rest of the way before his lips slowly start to trail down your chest, continuing to leave marks as you reach down to slowly stroke him, wanting to drive him crazy and tease him as much as he was doing to you. You know you succeeded when he lets out a barely audible groan which makes you giggle.

His lips wrap around one of your nipples, making you gasp and shift at the sensitive feeling, your jeans feeling a bit too constricting now.

He notices you shift and moves to unbutton them, pulling away from you slightly so that you can lift your hip, allowing him to remove them as well as your panties in one quick motion before sitting at your side. He reaches over you so that he can rub your clit but you grab his wrist and stop him.

“No, I-I just want to feel you tonight, please?” you beg, craving the closeness and the connection that you have been lacking out on with him.

His shifts so that he is leaning over the top of you again, his lips finding yours gently as he teases you slightly with the tip against your clit. When you give him an annoyed grunt he finally gives in and slips inside of you, both of you letting out a groan at the sudden feeling of pleasure that is coursing through you.

Hi thrusts get a little bit harder as he goes but he doesn’t get anywhere near as rough with you as he always has in the past. He wants to savor this moment with you and enjoy this feeling. He also feels the change between this act and the other times the two of you have been together.

Pulling away he locks his eyes with you as his hands find their way to your waist, flipping the two of you so that you are now on top.

“Ride me baby, fuck just like that,” he groans as you begin to rock your hips against his, you being inpatient and going a bit quicker than he was when he was on top and leading the two of you.

Knowing that he won’t last long himself after not getting any for a few month he reaches between the two of you, starting to toy with your clit which makes you look away from him, arching your back at the level it adds to everything.

He can feel you starting to clench around him, hear you letting out breathy moans that let him know that you are getting quick and when you do cum rather abruptly he is right behind you, spilling inside of you a couple seconds later.

When you come down you share a couple lazy kisses before you finally pull yourself off him and go to your bathroom to quickly clean yourself up.

When you return you quickly put your pajamas on, and notice that he has slipped into his boxers and is laying on your bed waiting for you to join him. You do so, laying your head on his chest and wrapping an arm around him while he begins to lightly run a hand along your back. Both of you sit there quietly, processing what has changed between the two of you but not wanting to be the one to break the silence.

A few moments later Rick decides to be the one to break it, “Being away from you like this for so long made me realize something… well that and one of Chris’ weird peptalks helped me figure it out too,” Rick says softly, still rubbing your back softly.

You move so that you are looking up at him,” Hmm?” you ask.

“This is probably not the best time to say it, and totally is not what I planned to do but I want to say it. I love you, more than that I’m in love with you. I’ve never mised someone so much while gone, or worried about a girlfriend like this,” he slowly stops talking when he realises he is rambling.

“Rick, I love you too. I just was too nervous to say it and freaked out thinking it would freak you out saying it only four months into our relations,” you admit and then before giving him a second kiss lightly.

Suddenly realization hits you and you pull away with a weird look on your face.

“Wait, you confided in this with my brother before you did me? No wonder he has been really weird lately when we’ve talked and asking how things are going with you,” you say giggling slightly.

You lay back down, curling up in his side again, content to just stay like that the rest of the night.

“He confronted me about it, I will explain later, lets just go to bed,” he says, sounding annoyed.

You decide to just let the subject go but totally plan to ask him about it in the morning curious on what that could have meant.

The two of you continue to catch up on everything you haven’t had a chance to with one another before you finally start to fall asleep, feeling loved and cared for, more content in your relationship than ever.

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Hey!! 🌷🌸🌷🌸 Here's a

　　 🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸 flowers bouquet

　 Λ🌷🌸🌷🌸🌷 for you because

( ˘ ᵕ ˘🌷🌸🌷 you got through

　 ヽ つ＼ ／ October despite

　　 UU / 🎀 \ everything !!

I'm proud of you ♡

Photo credits: Left and Right (@academia-core) Center (@sillyhotchsgirl)

A Little Pleasure and Some Joy 

Anon, you have no idea how much these messages help me get through the day! I’ve had a lot going on recently in my personal life and these make me feel so warmed and cared for. Your use of flower emojis might have made its way into the Aaron fic that I’m going to post in a few minutes. 😊 I want to give you something back for being so kind. So here’s just a short Hotch x gender-neutral reader blurb (as I don’t know your pronouns). This is highly inspired by my favorite essay, “Joy” by Zadie Smith. I include flowers in this because of your emojis. If any of you want to give that piece a read I’d be happy to send a PDF link, just comment or DM me. I hope Anon and anyone else who reads this has a lovely and safe night. Levi 💖

Read the story below the cut. (Hardly edited) 

Pairing: Aaron x gender-neutral reader. The reader uses they/them pronouns. 

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 1K

Warnings: None 

List with all stories

y/n_ = your name 

Aaron had many pleasures in his life. The chief of which was nestled warmly against his chest and down the hallway two doors over. The one in his arms was slowly coming to wake. He rubbed _y/n_’s bare shoulder as they blinked slowly awake. “Morning,” _y/n_ said in a voice muted by a good night's rest. They were still half asleep as Aaron leaned down and kissed their forehead. The Pleasure and joy that was still asleep two doors down would be up in an hour, asking for cereal and milk and to watch Saturday morning cartoons. And _y/n_ would have to bargain with Jack that he did not watch the big kid cartoons and only saw two episodes of whatever the child was currently hyper-fixated on. They would take the child to the park and Jack would let out his energy and he and _y/n_ would sit hand in hand on the bench near the playground or they would take turns pushing Jack into the sky on the swingset. Jack’s laugh was not a pleasure, that was a joy. And when _y/n_ became fully conscious and pressed their lips to his own slightly stubble-covered face, that too was a joy. _y/n_’s eyes shone with care and they moved a bit off of him to grab a shirt to cover themself before they moved to the communal area of the apartment. _y/n_ brushed a hand down his jaw and said, “You want coffee?” Aaron smiled and responded, “Always my love.” _y/n_ nodded and asked, “Pour over or French press?” Hotch settled back against the mattresses and pillows saying, “If you use the last of the grounds for the pour over we can go to our favorite spot to pick up some new beans after the park with Jack.” _y/n_ beamed, and replied, “Pour over it is.” Coffee was another pleasure. His taste had become decidedly better after _y/n_ had moved in with him and Jack. Aaron didn’t have a problem with shit coffee. He was used to shit coffee. But _y/n_ had standards, and he wanted them to feel totally cared for by him, which included raising and learning about the caffeinated beverage they both relied on so much. Aaron moved out of bed and grabbed some pants from the dresser, He slipped them over his hips. He looked at _y/n_ and said, “I might be a minute, dear. I’m going to shave.” _y/n_ looked over to him and said, “Do you have to? You know I like you with a beard.” Aaron flushed slightly. This was another pleasure. He was so used to being clean-shaven, and he still preferred that at work, but on a lazy weekend when he could spend an extra minute or two with _y/n_ instead of performing that grooming ritual, he would take the time with _y/n_ every time. The fact they liked him, loved him with a beard was something he was still getting used to. One time after a case where his dominant hand had been injured, _y/n_ had shaved him with skill, precision, and care. That memory was a joy. 

The day moved along at a slow, relaxed pace. The family moved to the playground and Hotch did his best to not suspect everyone he saw. He couldn’t turn off the instinct, but he tried to think of the world as a kinder place when he was out like this. _y/n_ leaned over and kissed his temple, stilling his thoughts for a moment. _y/n_ was an optimist and a romantic. Some evenings he caught them scribbling in a worn journal. When he had asked what they were writing, they quickly closed the book saying, “Oh just things I see in you and Jack.” From his partner's expression that they weren’t anything bad. He had sat on the bed and asked, “What type of things?” _y/n_ had taken a breath and said, “Oh just little things about you that make me full. The way you hum Bowie off-key in the shower. How Jack moves his hands when he talks about his friends in kinder. Small pleasures that fill my days.” Aaron’s heart felt like it had grown with the love _y/n_ showed him and Jack. So he had started to look for little pleasures of his own. He distinguished them from joy. Joy was something else and though he was happy to have experienced it, and continue experiencing it, it was far too close an emotion to fear to want on the daily. The sound of Jack crying had them both up in an instant. His son had scraped his knee and Aaron picked up his boy saying, “What happened, buddy?” Jack explained and _y/n_ ruffled Jack’s sandy hair to distract them. They moved on to the coffee shop from there. They waited in line, placed their orders, got a new bag of dark roast, and then moved back to the street. They passed a street vendor selling flowers and Hotch recognized most of them. Flowers were also a pleasure. _y/n_ had shown a fondness for them in a bittersweet way. They had explained that flowers were a great metaphor for life. Struggling to make it to the world against the elements and bugs. Then they bloomed in their glory for a short while. Then they could be supported for a while longer. And finally, they faded. But even after they were gone they could still be remembered for the joy they had brought. If Aaron was an existentialist, then _y/n_ was a naturalist both figuratively and literally. They knew all the scientific names of these flora and fauna. As he passed the stall he thought of the common names he knew: Roses, babies breathe, sunflowers, Castilleja, tulips, forget-me-nots. _y/n_ was partial to sunflowers. They had once said many years ago, “I know it’s cliche but did you know that sunflowers turn to face each other when the sun is covered by the clouds?” Later that evening, Hotch had kissed them for the first time. That memory was another joy. Aaron told _y/n_ to move ahead and that he’d catch up. Hotch moved back to the stall and pulled out a twenty and a five and got some of the prettier forget-me-nots; his favorites. And as he walked to catch up to his family with the flowers in tow, he couldn’t be more grateful for little pleasures and some joy.

______________________________________________________________

tagging my moots cause I love y'all and thought you might enjoy -@criminalskies @sadgirlzluvdilfs @citrusiove @tgskitten @softhairedhotch @hotchs-big-hands

[brainrattlers]

Play It Cool - Tyson Jost (13/n)

Author’s Notes: Yep I’m up super late again writing and posting, with little editing. If it doesn’t make sense, that’s all on me. But hey, let’s celebrate NYE, shall we? Things are heating up in the kitchen. I mean literally, the oven is pre-heating. But also Tyson and AJ are too.

Pairing: Tyson Jost x OFC

Word count: 4000

Warnings: language. Things get a little hot between Tyson and AJ so... if you’re under 18, begone! 18+ please. Part 12: https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/689557201997774848/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-12n-authors-notes

AJ was happy to have a few days off from work, but sad for the reason. She had tickets to the New Year’s Eve game in Dallas, but with the shutdown, she was not enjoying her time off in Texas. Instead, she spent another couple of days with the Jost crew, but definitely insisted on letting Tyson spend time with his family. It was evident that they were so important to him, and she was almost jealous of that because it definitely was not the same with her own family. Things weren’t bad, but it just wasn’t the same sort of connection. She’d always kind of been the black sheep in her family, different interests lead to just feeling slightly disconnected.

But while Tyson and the family were off adventuring, exploring the city or taking a small day trip in the surrounding areas, AJ was home getting caught up on some chores she’d been slacking on. Dinner with Jess was another evening, getting all the juicy gossip she’d gotten at work. The last night Tyson’s family was in town, the four had dinner again, much more casual than the first meeting was.

In fact, honestly, AJ was going to miss Laura and Kacey being around, but knew that Tyson already promised that she was going to be in on more facetime calls with everyone. Again, she didn’t really fit in too much interest-wise with his family, but they took an active interest in her, asking questions and seemingly trying to understand what all AJ did for work, and what she did for fun. She really understood why Tyson was so close with his family. The two took Laura and Kacey to the airport for their flight home on the 30th.

Everyone said their “see you laters” (it’s never goodbye, AJ learned that quickly with Tyson traveling for work), and Laura pulled AJ in for a tight hug, leaning in to whisper something to her that definitely wasn’t meant for Tyson.

“You two are good for each other. I know I’m his mom so I’ll always worry, but I feel much better with you here keeping him in line. Let me know if you ever need anything,” Laura hugged AJ tight, “we’re always here for you two.”

AJ nodded, and promised to keep in touch. She reciprocated the offer for assistance if she can ever do anything, between hugging both Laura and Kacey.

Tyson and Kacey did their annoying sibling thing for a few moments, before the two grabbed their carry-ons to head through security at DIA. They waved at each other until they were far away into the TSA security area. AJ could tell that Tyson was a little down, but she grabbed his hand and asked what he wanted to do that afternoon, when his phone buzzed in his pocket as they were walking to the parking lot.

JT: We’re having a small get together tomorrow night for NYE. Just a couple of friends. AJ is invited too, of course.

Tyson stopped, and asked AJ if she had plans for the next night, which she didn’t really, other than hoping she’d get to spend a few moments at midnight kissing Tyson. She didn’t care where, or with who. Just as long as he was there.

Tyson: We’re in. AJ wants to know if we need to bring anything? Food, beverages, games?

JT: Sydney says to just bring whatever you want. We’ve got some food and drinks but up to you all.

Tyson: Cool. 

The two detoured and made a stop at the King Soopers before heading back to Tyson’s. The plan was to have the afternoon to be lazy together, have some dinner and play it by ear for the evening. Probably crash at Tyson’s place, but then on NYE, head to AJ’s to start making treats for the party. AJ snagged a few things to make her secret recipe of chocolate chip cookies, but then also stuff to make a dip that was pretty high in protein, that was really good with the veggies Tyson picked up.

As soon as they made it to Tyson’s place, AJ was super excited and ran to the door, this being the first time she was using her key. This was funny to Tyson, he didn’t expect her to actually be giddy about it. But here she was fumbling around with the lock until the door swung open and she exclaimed…

“TA DAAAA!”

There might have been some jazz hands in there as well.

Tyson rolled his eyes, but still giggled as the two hauled a couple bags of groceries inside. With the refrigerated items stored safely in the fridge, he turned to the woman unloading some items into the pantry. AJ couldn’t see the mischievous look in his eyes, but definitely could feel something in the air.

Rather, she felt something near her ear. The faintest of whispers were perceived.

“I love my family being here, but boy am I glad they’re on their way home…” Tyson’s lips brushed over the shell of AJ’s ear. “I’ve been wanting to do this for days.”

AJ was trying to keep her composure, play aloof.

“Whatever are you talking about, Mr. Jost?” 

She knew the name would rile him up. And instead of calling him daddy, which actually weirded both of them out, AJ would just get very formal with Tyson, which would cause his brain to short-circuit a bit. And inevitably, he’d get a bit of an ego stroke from it, as he felt like she was giving up control to him, that he was in charge. What he didn’t realize was that in doing so, she still truly was in power in the situation as she knew the effect it had on him.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, as the case may be), Tyson placed soft, tiny kisses up the column of AJ’s neck, right behind her earlobe. This one particular spot was AJ’s kryptonite, as Tyson found it early on in their relationship. A soft touch of the pad of his finger, or a brush of his lips against it sent her flying high, shivering slightly. Strong arms wrapped around her midsection from behind, holding her firmly in place as he continued the slow pace of kisses followed by more whispers. 

“It’s been over a week since I’ve been able to rile you up like this… and actually do something about it.” 

AJ shuddered at the feeling of his lips ghosting against her neck. Tyson could feel how hard AJ had begun to breathe under his arms, the air stuttering as she exhaled. He knew exactly what he was doing.

“How’s about we leave these groceries out for later, and I continue to just keep kissing this spot (kiss) right… here (kiss) and, I don’t know…” Tyson let the stubble on his face softly rub against AJ’s lower neck and shoulder as he gently pulled the collar of her t-shirt askew. Her skin felt like it was on fire, and she was getting dizzy from either breathing too hard, or not enough - just wasn’t sure. One thing that Tyson is definitely good at is taking AJ’s breath away.

The arms surrounding AJ’s torso loosened, and rough, but warm hands slid down her arms until one of of those hands grabbed her own, twirling her around to face Tyson. His other hand reached behind her to shut the door to the pantry, then gracefully leaned her back onto the cabinet doors. Leaning in, one of Tyson’s legs nudged between AJ’s, seemingly holding her in place.

Eyes searched each others’ for any sign of negative reaction. But doubling down, Tyson opened his mouth and asked the question. He absolutely needed to be sure that everyone was on board and in agreement about what was about to happen.

“Is this okay?”

AJ nodded, feeling Tyson’s thigh pressed between her own.

“Nuh uh babygirl, I need you to say it.”

AJ hummed while breathing out. “This is good. If it ever becomes not good, I will tell you. Same with you?”

“Absolutely.”

As soon as it was said, Tyson’s thigh pressed harder against AJ, using half of his body to now hold her in place. Had she not actually had her feet on the floor, he easily could have held her up against the pantry door, suspended in mid-air.  As he did so, a soft whimper fell from AJ’s lips, betraying all of her efforts to keep calm. That smirk reappeared on Tyson’s lips as he felt her attempting to create any sort of friction with his thigh. 

“Oh, I see how it is. Did my little Eggo miss being covered in her man’s maple syrup this week?”

AJ just stared at Tyson who didn’t even comprehend immediately how ridiculous that sounded. She did her best to keep it under wraps, but couldn’t. She started to shake while holding in the giggles that were threatening to escape.

The dam broke, and she started laughing.

“YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!” 

The realization started to click of what exactly he said and why it did not work the way it should have.

“You’re dirty, Mr. Jost.” AJ couldn’t stop the giggles, which were infectious and spread to Tyson as well. “And I don’t think I can call you my Maple Syrup anymore because.. What the fuck!”

Leave it to these two to have this amazing slow burn, only to have the flames doused with a bucket full of laughter. But they wouldn’t have it any other way. These two sidestepped some awkward moments earlier on in their relationship with laughter. It eventually turned into pretty much a mantra shared between the two:

If you’re not able to laugh during it, are you even doing it right?

Sure that seems awkward, but if something ridiculous happens, it’s better to acknowledge and laugh, than to let it get weird. And once that was finished, the couple was able to pick up right where they left off, and somehow it made it hotter. It was just part of their emotional connection.

This time was no different. After the giggles subsided, Tyson picked up AJ and set her on the counter, nestling himself between her legs and kissing her deeply. After a few moments of staring into each others’ eyes between kisses, he finally just straight up picked AJ up and carried her to the bedroom. 

So much for watching a movie that afternoon. They also missed dinner time, opting to just stay in bed, doing a handful of those things that they were unable to do while Laura and Kacey were visiting. Speaking of those two, Tyson heard his phone that was still sitting in the kitchen buzz, figuring it was his mom and sister saying their flight landed. He wasn’t about to let that get in the way of accomplishing the goals he set out to do, which mainly included making up for all the lost time while his family was visiting. 

It was a long evening, but well enjoyed by both. Exhausted from the activities, they opted to skip dinner, but wake up early and see about a big breakfast before The Great Bake-a-thon was to commence at AJ’s. Thankfully one of Tyson’s favorite breakfast joints was not terribly busy when the two finally arrived around 10 - no thanks to Tyson deciding they, yes, they needed to take a shower. 

“You know there is a water shortage, right? We totally should just take a shower together to save water.”

“Why do I think this is going to use more water together than it would separately?”

Tyson scoffed as he turned on the faucet, and AJ turning it a bit warmer than the rather frosty temp he liked to shower at.

Regardless of how much water was used, the two got cleaned up and properly dressed to head out for pancakes, before arriving at AJ’s. Thankfully they remembered the groceries to make everything for the evening that were still at Tyson’s before the left - driving by a couple of grocery stores, they were seemingly packed with everyone buying their snacks for the night’s festivities. 

And while Tyson was trying to recreate the previous night’s kitchen scene in AJ’s kitchen, she somehow kept him in line long enough to make the fiesta veggie dip. He was curiously watching the baker across from him mix ingredients into the mixer bowl, until the wad of unbaked goodness was just as she wanted. Her finger swiped up a bit of the dough, and found itself in front of Tyson’s mouth. Still trying to start something, he sensually licked the dough off, earning a moan from him.

“I’m not sure what to say to this, Tyson. You were making those same sorts of sounds last night… if I would have known I could have just made cookies…”

This might have been the first time she rendered Tyson speechless, rather, just a blush crept over his cheeks as he smiled.

Instead of teasing him further, AJ enlisted his services to shape out balls of cookie dough, and place them on the cookie sheets. All the while, the oven was preheating, and dishes were starting to be washed. That is, until AJ looked over to find that Tyson was making inappropriate cookie dough balls (sigh). She smirked, and he reshaped them into actual round shapes. Into the oven it all went, and that left them a few minutes to clean up the kitchen. With the timer set, AJ told Tyson to take them out of the oven when the timer goes off, and if she wasn’t back from taking a shower in time, after 5 minutes, put them on the cooling rack. Thankfully his mind was there and he did just that, despite really wanting to surprise AJ in the shower. With the cookies safely cooling, and AJ getting dressed for the get together, Tyson took a quick shower as well, seeing as how he somehow got protein powder and flour on his neck.

Quickly cleaning the veggies and packaging up all the food to take over to JT’s, Tyson back out to the kitchen.

“Hey, uh, babe?”

AJ looked up, and already knew what Tyson was going to ask. Tyson stood in the doorway, wearing some dark brown pants, and a pink shirt. 

“Oh, hey, did you bring anything else with you? Those… don’t…  work together.”

Tyson was getting better at matching his clothes, but occasionally he’d still stumble a bit, and would have to learn what he picked out just wasn’t two colors that should be paired like so.

“Damn it, I had just about three weeks straight that I did alright!” Tyson chuckled. “Alright time to start a new streak. But… oh no. I didn’t bring anything else with me, and we don’t really have time to go back to my place to change.”

AJ thought for a moment. 

“Hold that thought, I think I have something that might work.”

Disappearing into her room, she came back with a black hoodie that simply said “Meh.” AJ shrugged as she handed it to Tyson. She knew it would be plenty big to fit him, but wasn’t sure how he’d react. He eyed the hoodie, then looked at AJ. She nodded, and he put it on over his head. Instantly his eyes lit up.

“Okay I so get why you girls are always stealing our clothes. This…” Tyson stopped to put his hands through the sleeves, “This hoodie is so soft and warm… and smells like your conditioner. I’m stealing this.” His smile was lighting up the room.

All AJ could do was roll her eyes. Somehow she managed to corral him and the two loaded up AJ’s car, and Tyson was her navigator to get to JT’s home. 

It was indeed a small get together, with just a couple other friends of JT and Sydney’s. Everyone meshed well, and the conversations flowed nicely. The wild thing in all of it was that somehow everyone managed to bring different food/beverages to the party, so there was a great spread.

The one thing that disappeared the fastest though was AJ’s protein-packed chocolate chip cookies. Sure, they weren't great for you, but they did have some extra goodness in them so the guys felt less bad about snagging a second, or third. The recipe was requested to be shared, but AJ said it was indeed a secret. But she also would be more than willing to make them upon reasonable request. (This might have sparked an idea with Sydney to talk to the rest of the WAGs about having a bake sale to raise money, but more on that later.)

Games were played, food was eaten, jokes were told, stories were shared. People started getting sleepy, but there were only five more minutes until midnight. Tyson started getting fidgety, seeing that AJ was across the room talking to the other women. Slowly but surely, he inched his way closer and closer, until there was one minute left. The TV showed the countdown. With seconds left, Tyson pulled AJ up and close to him. His eyes never left hers.

“I can’t wait to spend the next year with you, AJ…”

Fireworks could be heard outside, but Tyson and AJ never flinched. He looked at her lips at the stroke of midnight, and let his lead the way as the two kissed, probably a little too deeply, maybe a touch inappropriate, but Tyson didn’t care. He was kissing the woman he loved at midnight, the start of New Year’s Day. He fully believed the tradition that whomever you kiss at midnight, you spend the rest of the year with. In his heart, he had hoped it would be much longer than just 2022.

What did break the kiss between the two was Sydney's cell phone camera flash illuminating the faces of Tyson and AJ. Although the photo wasn’t planned, she managed to catch the clock showing midnight behind them, and honestly, it was a pretty dang cute photo. She texted it immediately to AJ, which gave her an idea. 

An evil idea.

But that train of thought was derailed by texts from friends and family coming in, wishing everyone a Happy New Year. Jess sent a photo of her and Nate, both wearing ridiculous hats and blowing on party favors. AJ sent a message to Laura, Kacey, and also one to Grandpa and Grandma Jost from the both of them. Sent another to her own family, saying she’d see them in two weeks.

Everyone continued the joyous outbursts and friendly shows of affection for a few more minutes, until it died down, a couple of the guys realizing that they had to be at practice in less than 10 hours. The NHL was restarting on January 2nd, figuring that the COVID outbreaks would more or less be contained again. This gave the team a day before their first game back to prepare after almost a week and and a half off.

Pitching in, AJ helped Sydney pack up all the food that was out in the kitchen, and tossed around the idea of the WAG bake sale again. This felt weird to AJ, confused why she was bringing it up to her. Sydney had to point out the obvious before it finally clicked.

Whether AJ really wanted to be labeled or not, she was one of them now - she was a WAG. It wasn’t the title that bothered her at all. But what did was the fact that AJ didn’t feel like she belonged with the group. Even though AJ was becoming friends with a number of them, she couldn’t help but feel like she was going to always be the odd one out. She wasn’t blonde, she isn't stick thin, she didn’t have a home or life that would incite jealousy on Instagram. Some of them came across as fake at times, and it was almost irritating. Instead, she was just AJ, who currently has curly brown and fire-engine red hair, works in IT, and has a house that is far from pristine or Instagram-worthy. 

At least focusing on the planning kept her from focusing on what she felt like she was lacking. Sydney added AJ to a group chat, which made her more nervous still, but this was going to be part of her life now and was going to do her best to adjust to and simply accept it. A few cheering emojis and hearts popped up after her welcome, which made her feel a little better. 

Tyson actually interrupted the two chatting, with a tiny reminder that even if AJ had off on New Year’s Day, he didn’t. AJ always got a good chuckle from this as usually she’s the one that has to leave for work by 7am to make it on time. She’d get to sleep in this time around if she wanted to! 

The couples all gathered their belongings, got their final New Year's wishes in to everyone, and called it a night, heading back to their own respective homes. The two made it back to AJ’s, and Tyson pretty much crashed as soon as his head hit the pillow. AJ wasn’t so lucky though, and her insomnia started kicking in. Fiddling with her phone, she found a bunch of photos from the holidays, photos with the Josts, photos from Christmas, New Year’s Eve. 

Her eyelids getting heavy, AJ curled up in bed next to Tyson, knowing his alarm would be going off in just a few hours. And when it did, she grumbled, but sleepily smiled when Tyson kissed her before heading off to practice. She didn’t even notice he was still wearing her black hoodie as he headed out the door. But, she was awake enough to press send on the Instagram draft.

Quickly, AJ created a draft of a message along with a handful of her favorite photos from the past few days, and hit send.

Photos with all of the Josts and AJ in their Christmas pajamas, Tyson cooking the Christmas dinner, the beautiful necklace Tyson gave AJ, Tyson in his Coors onesie, the photo of them kissing at midnight, as well as one other photo  all uploaded along with a message within the draft.

wicketthewarrior Happy New Year, everyone! This was a holiday season I would have never guessed would happen a year ago, hell, 6 months ago, but here we are. May everyone have a fantastic 2022 - it’s gotta be better than where we’ve been, right? Also… @josty17? Love you, but… Game on.

Tyson didn’t have a chance to check his phone before practice to see why he was getting pinged so hard suddenly, but a few of the guys on the team sure did. If they weren't already teasing him for clearly wearing one of AJ’s nerdy hoodies to practice, they definitely were after tapping that heart or commenting on AJ’s instagram post.

At the end of practice, Tyson had so many notifications, the main one saying that AJ had tagged him in a post. He read the message before looking through the photos, so he was clearly confused. Seeing AJ with his family made his heart skip a beat. His stomach growled looking at the Christmas dinner photos. The warm feeling settled in his chest when he saw the photo of them kissing - he’d not seen it previously.  But that all dropped to the floor as soon as he swiped to the last photo. Staring back at him was a photo of himself, that probably could have been a thirst trap, but was most definitely him the morning prior, staring at AJ with a very sleepy look on his face, and some of the craziest, out of control bed head curls he’d ever had.

AJ’s phone buzzed with a notification from Instagram, regarding a specific comment that she just received.

josty17 love you too babygirl… but be afraid. Be very afraid. (evil imp face)

Part 14: https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/690822714485817344/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-14n-authors-notes

[beyondxmeasure]

2022: A Year In Review

Thanks for tagging me @larrysballetslippers @thinlinez @brightgolden @kingsofeverything and @larrieblr

I know this has been going around a lot and most people have done it already so I’m not going to tag anyone but if you see this and want to have a go at it please consider yourself tagged! Id love to see what goals you have for the year.

✨ Let Your Heart Be Light 59K WIP | Teen+ | Harry/Louis Louis Tomlinson, a self-proclaimed holiday-hater, loses his job two weeks before Christmas. Broke and desperate to see his family back home in England, he takes the only job left at the mall as one of Santa’s helpers. Harry is an unconventional mall Santa, the youngest one they’ve had in years, but with as much holiday spirit as any other seasoned Saint Nick. He’s determined to un-Grinch the new guy in Santa’s Village if it takes until Christmas, then he finds out the devastating reason Louis has lost his Christmas cheer. Will Harry be just the thing Louis needs to help him get his sparkle back?

Featuring Liam as the manager at Santa's Village, Niall as an easy-going Irish elf and Harry's best friend, grumpy Grinch Louis, his best friend Zayn and one matchmaking Mrs. Claus.

A 2022 Advent Fic

✨ Lazy Days and Pancakes For Two 4K | Teen+ | Harry/Louis They haven't seen each other in eighteen days. What better way to spend a much-needed tour break than having a lazy day watching shit TV and having breakfast in bed with your husband.

✨ I Gave Up Hope and Found You Instead 14K | Teen+ | Harry/Louis The entire village warned him not to go. It was an odd-numbered day, after all. Still, the peculiar boy from Eroda set sail and, without knowing it, headed straight into the OFMD universe. While being held captive aboard the pirate ship Revenge, the boy meets a fisherman named Louis.

Tasked by the captain to teach the reluctant boy to fish, Louis struggles to hide his frustration and hold his tongue. As difficult as it is to deal with this clumsy stranger, the skilled fisherman had worse assignments and more unpleasant partners, but none of them with a smile as bright as this peculiar boy had. A moment of unexpected distress catches them off guard, and both soon find out it’s much easier to catch feelings than fish.

OR: Where the Adore You music video ends and the Our Flag Means Death story begins.

✨ I Was Born Like This, Don't Even Gotta Try 2K | E | Harry/Louis Louis and Harry return home after a long day of promo events and cocktail parties. They’re both exhausted, but that doesn’t stop Louis from keeping a promise he made to Harry in the limo earlier that night.

A certain geometric Gucci suit might have played a part in helping Louis’ keep that promise.

Thank you to everyone who's read my writing, shared my fic posts, left kudos or comments. All of your interaction has meant so much! -xx 💙 Cy

2022: A Year In Review (My Annual Writing Self-Evaluation) ...below the cut...

Number of stories posted this year: 4

Word count posted this year: 78,815

Stories with the most… Kudos: I Was Born Like This, Don’t Even Gotta Try

Comment Threads: Let Your Heart Be Light

Bookmarks: Let Your Heart Be Light

Work you are most proud of (and why): Let Your Heart Be Light Because other than the time spent outlining, this fic was started and finished in two months (except for the last 3 chapters, still to come). That’s the fastest I’ve written/edited/posted anything. I’m proud of my ability to let go of my perfectionist tendencies, that usually keep me editing and polishing a fic long after it is written. Due to the nature of the posting schedule (advent fic- 1 chapter a day for December) I didn’t have that luxury. I am still just as proud, if not more so, of this writing in general without having the time to dote over it as much. I also dealt with some heavier topics and am so happy with how it came out. It’s sentimental and sad at times, while still being light and fun. I did exactly what I set out to do and am very proud of the result.

Work you are least proud of (and why): I Gave Up Hope Because I had so many ideas for how I wanted this to go, and in the end, I ran out of time to make it what I wanted it to be. While I love this fic and am still very proud of it for so many reasons… the crossover element, writing something out of my comfort zone (fantasy/pirate fic), to name a couple, I feel like I missed the mark of what I set out to do. But there’s always room to add to it.

A favorite excerpt of your writing: Taken from chapter four of Let Your Heart Be Light

Harry eases back into his chair and waits patiently for Ginny to start again. She goes to fetch a vintage-looking suitcase with a large red bow on it that sits beneath the tree they just decorated that afternoon. Harry had urged her to give it time, allowing her space to grieve, not wanting her to push herself too much. She insisted, saying that’s what he would’ve wanted, determined not to turn Paul’s favorite time of the year into a time for pity and sorrow. The twinkling lights and the smell of fresh pine throughout the parlor made it feel like he wasn’t that far away.

Ginny pushes the cards off to the side and places the weathered case in front of Harry.

“What’s this?” He wonders, running his hands over the distressed leather bindings and tarnished brass buckles.

“It’s for you, darling. Open it.” Ginny cups Harry’s cheek, caressing gently with her thumb, eyes shining with unshed tears as she nods, encouraging him with a tender smile. “Go ahead, dear.”

Ginny sits down cautiously, waiting with bated breath for Harry to flip the buckles open to reveal what’s inside. Harry takes a deep breath, hands shaky with anticipation. He has a pretty good idea of what's inside, and he’s not sure he can keep his composure if he’s right. Slowly, he unlatches first the left then the right side, flick… flick… The hinges creak as he opens it with care. Layers of deep red velvet trimmed with snow white fur lay neatly folded inside, all wrapped with a black leather belt and matching boots adorned with shiny gold buckles.

Harry feels his eyes flood with tears as he lets out a shaky breath. “Ginny, no. I can’t—You can’t give this away. Paul wouldn’t—”

It’s Ginny’s reassuring hand over Harry’s now. “I’m not giving it away, sweetheart. I’m passing it down. Paul asked me to. He wanted you to have it.”

“What?” Harry utters in disbelief. “Why me?”

“It’s your turn, now.”

“What? No! I couldn’t. I don’t even know how—”

“You have the heart for it, dear, and Christmas spirit in abundance. That’s all that really matters.”

“But it’s too soon. For you, I mean, like, we couldn’t—oh my god. Ginny? Do you mean? You want me to—”

She nods enthusiastically, tears falling from her eyes just as much as Harry. “I said yes to him, of course, right away, but buried the thought of it. Because, well, you know—I just couldn’t imagine even thinking of going through with it this year. But the more I think about it, I think the only way I could go through with it again, is if I do it with you. I can’t even think about playing Mrs. Claus to some complete stranger. It just wouldn’t feel right. But you. You, my dear, would be perfect.”

“Are you serious?”

“Absolutely!” Ginny holds out her arms, inviting Harry into her warm embrace. “I couldn’t imagine anyone else filling my Paul’s boots better than you.”

Harry turns the boots over to find the number ten embossed on the bottom of the arch. “They’re my size,” he declares with a smile and a dry laugh, wiping his eyes, still in shock as he looks over the contents of the suitcase in awe. “I guess maybe I could fill Paul’s boots, couldn’t I?”

“You sure can, my dear. Go, try it on!” A glint of delight flashes in her eyes and, with her approval, Harry is up in a flash, eager to get into the legendary red suit. “Oh, here, look at this.” Ginny lifts the jacket, pulling back the inside lapel to reveal a monogram with the letters PA hand sewn inside a red heart border. “See, now he’ll always be with you. Never forgotten.”

Share or describe a favorite review you received: @berzerkshires left the following comment on Let Your Heart Be Light

I have finally got a chance to catch up. And my heavens! The emotions of this story! So wonderfully capturing the ups and downs of the holiday season through all your characters. So heartbreaking and hopeful all at once. So intriguing and festive all together. You’ve got me hanging on the edge of my seat for the true Christmas spirit.

Such kind words… but I’ve also gotten so many other wonderful comments from people who’ve had similar experiences with grief and loss and how my fic helped get them through a difficult time. That, to me, is the ultimate compliment. To be the light in someone’s otherwise dark day is a lovely thing and exactly why I wrote this story.

A time when writing was really, really hard: Completing my Eroda Fic Fest fic was pretty tough. I had a lot of writer’s block and got stuck so many times I really thought I would not complete it on time. Also, the end of this year was tough. I let the year get away from me and while I had it completely outlined for months; I didn’t start writing my Advent fic until November. It became a scramble to complete it on time to be ready for December 1st, which didn’t happen. I could only get about half of the chapters written ahead, and the rest had to be written on the fly the day before or day-of posting. Adding to that, the emotional toll of my grandmother losing her battle with Alzheimer’s. All that being said, I am incredibly proud of myself for pushing through. While I still have the last three chapters to post, I wrote and posted 60K words in less than two months, and it’s some of my favorite work I’ve written thus far.

How did you grow as a writer this year?: While I didn’t post as much on Ao3 as in previous years or that I might have set out to do, I wrote quite a lot. I completed 4 fics but also made a lot of genuine progress with a few WIPs that were holdouts from last year. I also listened to myself a lot more—only writing when I really wanted to, not over-committing to too many fic fests or holding myself to unreachable expectations. I enjoyed writing a lot more without all the pressure I usually put on myself. I don't know if I'd call this growth, but I hit a pretty cool milestone... Twisted Fate reached 500 kudos! ❤️ That's a first for me. I'm still shocked at how popular that one is.

How do you hope to grow next year?: I'd like to step out of my comfort zone and try podficcing. I’ve been tossing around the idea to turn a fic or two of mine into one. So we shall see. Otherwise I have small goals… complete the WIPs I've been dragging my feet on, stay consistent with my writing and get better at interacting with my mutuals/responding to tags, etc...

Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year?: Yes! A lot of my real life made its way into Let Your Heart Be Light. A reimagining of a friend’s home break-in became a major plot point in the story. I also used my Nana as an inspiration for the characters of Ginny and Louis Nan. A few of my own memories from Christmases past made their way into the fic as well.

Any new wisdom you can share with other writers?: I don’t have much wisdom to impart but from my experience this past year of slowing down and just writing at my own pace more I would say forget about the pressure from outside sources, or even your own self-imposed pressures and just write… for the fun of it, for the escape, for the release… whatever. Just write. Don’t let anything hold you back. Whether you think you’re not good enough, experienced enough, fast enough, insert ___ enough. You improve the more you do it. Step out of your comfort zone, challenge yourself… but always write for yourself first, not for other readers, deadlines or anything else. If you’re writing something you enjoy, others will enjoy it too and if they don’t, then fuck ‘em.

Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year?: I’m dying to finish (fxckn finally!) the second part to my Arcades & Lemonade fic… follow up to I Know You Rider. It’s been in the works for far too long, was supposed to be my Big Bang fic last year, but it keeps getting pushed to the back burner for various reasons. Also, my bootcamp/fitness instructor Harry fic--- Also been a drawn out WIP for some time. A Twisted Fate epilogue and few others. I’ve also got my outline started for my 2023 advent fic, but first things first, I need to finish the last three chapters for this year’s advent fic. That should keep me busy enough, but I’m sure I will come up with some other new ideas that will derail me along the way, per usual! LOL. The rest of my goals for 2023 are here...

[millersdayoff]

Sorry this is a long post. I'm leaving names and specific locations out. My friend’s ex [29] about a week ago posted on social media on how something that was done on accident, and she talked about how she was in previously in a dead end relationship and how the new relationship is in is how she was engaged to her current partner, moving to a new house out of state, getting a decently paid job, and said “I’m blessed” with two dogs and two cats. She was bragging on social media on how great things are now but the part that set me off was that fact that she said my friend [32] hated animals. He took care of all of those animals because she was a lazy POS. Context: These events happened in the span between 2015-2018. Time is out of order but I'm hoping I make sense. In February 2018, the ex went on a vacation and told my friend last minute she needs to go to the airport. The relationship was already falling apart at this point, but my friend did what it took to make her happy. She cheated on him with now her new fiancé. The fiancé was notorious for being mentally abusive with his previous girlfriend and also to the ex. He use to make fun of my friend's ex's weight and her tattoos. She cried once whenever the friend and fiancé had lunch together once and said “I don’t want to be around him ever again.” because the fiance bullied her so much. This is after she moved out of state in March 2018, but whenever she started shit with the fiancé, he would dip and leave her at their apartment alone to go hang out with friends. To show what kind of person her fiance is, there was also a constant joke that my friend's ex and fiancé would call my friend a Jew and if he was poisoned that he would just die because he wouldn’t buy a cure to stop the poison. Jumping to 2015-2017: My friend never had a lot of money because he paid rent, utilities, made her food, and also got her fast food if she begged for it. The only thing his ex paid at the time was a $50 gas bill in the house they've rented with two people together. The ex never took care of the animals she had ( she had a ferret and never cleaned the cage as she should have that she ended up selling away) and the cat litter she never cleaned either and my friend was the only one that cleaned it out. The ex also had bad spending habits and instantly blew her money on cosplays, special editions at GameStops, makeup, clothes, etc. She even wanted to marry my friend and talked about wanting to move out of state at one point. My friend said we can make it happen but you need to start saving your money also and being more responsible, he was also going to start saving money even more and was willingly to go move out of state with her. He would ask her on multiple occasions how much money you saved up and it led to fights as she didn’t give a straight answer. The only time she saved up enough money was when she moved out of state with her new boyfriend (fiance now but you get it). There was a moment before she moved that they rented a house that the ex, friend, and two other of the ex friends moved in together and the ex brought home an outside dog from her job at the time. The poor dog was scared and just ended up tearing everything in the house and was kept outside tied to a tree. My friend told her the dog needs to be in a rescue shelter as it’s cruel to keep an animal tied up. Th ex eventually agreed and the ex and roommate went south of their city to drop off the dog.

2015-2017 still: She begged my friend for a husky because they were watching GOTs at the time and huskies were popular. At the time, actors (Sophie Turner and Peter Dinklage I believe) from the show stressed to people please do not get huskies. My friend was hyper against it as she never took care of the animals she previously had. She thought “cute dog I want husky” without knowing anything about taking care of a wolf husky hybrid. My friend told her we can get another cat but you have to be responsible and take care of it. The ex agreed for a little while and got a cat she currently has now. Arguments would go back and forth on her wanting a husky. She would say something in the lines of "You never give me what I want". One day after work, the ex made an impulse decision and pulled a Craigslist ad for a white husky wolf hybrid for $200. My friend and the ex traveled part of the hometown for the dog to which she didn’t have the cash on hand so my friend ended up paying for the dog for her. He never got the $200 back from her by the way. My friend ended up taking care of the dog when they were dating at the time. My friend paid for his food, bed, vet bills, grooming bill, etc.

January 2018: She also didn’t want to go to my friend's family functions and even one time my friend's parents bought football tickets to a game for a team she liked and last minute she didn’t want to go even though she begged my friend to have his mom buy them for them and gave the excuse. "We never get to do nice dates out anymore and I want to do more stuff like this with you." Tickets were roughly $300.00.

February 2018: She took half of my friends stuff and moved out of state. One of the last arguments they had together she said she was going to beat herself up and call the policed and said to him “I will call the police beat myself up and said you r***d me” over a video game she tried taking that wasn’t hers. He gave in and just left the partner they lived in at the time. He came back to the apartment and broke up. They lived together so she had enough money to move out of the state. The situation with that was creepy too. She would use to want pity s*x from my friend and he would deny her advances or she would want to cuddle with him even though they’ve already broken up at that point. There was a point where she went up to him and said “I got my nipples pierced, do you want to play with them?” the friend would deny her request but she was almost dumbfounded that he would say no to her.

Mar 2018: The fiancé the ex is engaged to now use to beat up the husky hybrid before the ex got rid of the dog after one month having him whenever she moved out of state in. Whenever the ex and the fiancé were out of state, they both never took care of the dog as they. The ex called my friend and said if he wanted the dog he needed to pay $3300 to have him ship back home and she didn’t have money and my friend couldn’t take on the responsibility. The dog got given up for adoption after one month of having him whenever the ex moved out of state. The irony of this now is they got two dogs now. 2018?: I don't recall whenever this happened, but the cat the ex adopted got sick also and my friend saved one of her cats from potential death after the cat ate something she wasn’t supposed to.

Apr-Aug 2018: Whenever the ex moved out of state, my friend used to get the ex calls and the ex cried constantly on how everything wasn’t working out for. She would always say things like “I miss you, you’re the best companion I’ve ever had. My heart aches.” “I still have your jacket and it still smells like you” To which my friend would usually respond “I’ll help you with what I can but you made this decision yourself.” or just got weirded out by her, she was usually drunk most of the time but also needed someone to talk to. She even sent a keychain from a video to my friend for his birthday once and was like “happy birthday, I miss you greatly” and it just seemed desperate. Before her friend moved out of state with the ex and fiance, she given my friend a box of stuff that may of belong to him (to which none of it did so again seemed desperate to try to reconnect). One phone call in particular the ex called and said “I wish I had come to a place I can call home.” To which my ex responded “well where do you think your home is now because it’s not here.” referring to his apartment back in their hometown. To which the ex was in disbelief and started to cry. The calls eventually stopped roughly in Aug 2018. The last time the ex spoke to my friend it was back in Oct 2018 where she called him randomly at work. They had a disagreement over a utility bill that was under her name (he was paying for it but she wanted him to cancel it for her even though it was under her name). She may have sent an email to him at some point but he never responded at that point. Its been five years since they've last spoken to each other. I don't think he remembers her voice or what she looks like anymore.

I think what I'm going at this is I don't mess with people that think in their mind they were in the right when they know what they did. His friends know. His family knows. And especially he knows what an actual monster you and your fiance on. Continue to believe your own lies. What you your fiance did to that poor dog was unspeakable. My friend has been healing and is in a healthy relationship.

[bearlytolerant]

prompt for you: edith asks mason to go with her to see a musical!! bonus points for getting shushed by a fellow audience member. 😏

Thank you my friend for this prompt. Stop sending me fun ideas I can’t handle it! Anyway, I hope you like.

Sensational

Fandom: The Wayhaven Chronicles

Pairing: Edith x Mason

Rating: E (for public blow job in the theater)

Word Count: 1182

AO3

-

Wanna go with me to a musical?

I hate music, remember?

Well yeah but what if we make out and you can drown out all the noise?

Or I can come over and make out at your place. You’ll save money.

😑

😏

Okay hear me out. How about I buy these tickets and support the local community while we also make out.

…

I’ll sweeten the pot. Let you get to second base?

I’ll be there.

Perfect. See you there Friday at 8.

–

It’s Friday and Mason can’t believe he’s standing in line at the concessions. At a theater. For a goddamn musical.

There’s people everywhere, pushing in on all sides and he feels like he’s standing in the middle of an ant hill. Everyone’s feelings and general presence are like a million legs crawling up his body. It itches but on the inside.

“The things I do for you,” he mutters.

Edith grins and it’s ridiculous that for some reason, that grin makes all of this worth it. She curls her fingers in his, yanking him close to kiss his cheek.

“I am appreciative,” she tells him.

They’re next in line and she hands over cash in exchange for a small coffee and a bag of honey mustard pretzel nuggets. Weaving their way through the masses, he breathes a sigh of relief when they reach their seats, shadowed in the darkest recesses of the theater. Edith fiddles with her pockets while balancing her drink and snack.

“Can you hold these a sec?” She shoves her shit his direction and he takes it before it drops to the ground. “Well crap. These seat numbers are so hard to read.”

He glances over her shoulder. “Last two on the end. Straight ahead.” He points with a shoulder.

“Thanks. Must be nice to see in the dark.”

“It’s not that dark.”

“Maybe not to you,” she says, taking her drink and snack back.

He follows her as she shuffles down the aisle. They sit. Get comfortable or as comfortable as they can in ancient metal seats with the thinnest shred of material covering them. Edith brushes her arm up against him and the stupid show starts.

He grits his teeth together as the music swells and sends vibrations through his limbs.

“You okay?”

She wraps an arm around him, spreading her palm across his back. His teeth unclench and he breathes deep.

“Yeah,” he says and it’s no lie.

She gently runs her fingers back and forth, a soothing sensation as the first number comes to an end. He glances down at her. Her musical has only just begun and he wants to kiss her—no, find an empty space away from everyone to do more than that. But she’s not even looking at him, eyes focused on the stage. It only makes him want her more. Her fingers crawl up his back and one twirls a lock of his hair around and around.

“What do you think,” she asks.

“That you’re beautiful.”

“What?” He’s got her attention now. “I meant the musical.

He shrugs.

“Shhh,” says the couple in front of them.

Edith giggles quietly against his chest. “That’s Mrs. Miller,” she whispers to where only he can hear. “She was my choir teacher.”

“No shit.” Mason smirks.

Then his lips are on hers and he really doesn’t give a fuck about the choir teacher who wants them to be quiet. His hands explore her neck, her back, her thighs and slip under her shirt sprawling his fingers across her stomach.

She lets out the smallest gasp but balls her fists up in the fabric of his shirt, pulling him as close as possible.

“You keep this up,” he says, “and you might get to third base.”

“I’m looking to get a home run, buttercup.”

He laughs. Too loud. And clearly not at the right time. Mrs choir lady is glaring at him again.

“Don’t stop what you’re doing on her account.” Mason already misses Edith’s lips on his, hand on his thigh.

“Shhh,” Edith tells him and she’s out of her seat, wedging between his legs and–

“Fuck,” he splutters.

“Really?” asks lady who can’t mind her own damn business. “If you’re going to continue to be disruptive–“

Her partner wraps an arm around her shoulders and his words aren’t for Mason’s ears. “Let them have their fun Millie. Remember when we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves?”

“It’s disruptive,” she argues.

And Mason doesn’t catch whatever else the guy has to say because his zipper’s down and Edith’s lips are incredibly warm wrapped around his tip and she’s going slow.

He grips the arm rests on either side of him, grateful there’s not a single soul in their immediate row. Though he’s pretty certain the guy two aisles over has interest in their business. He shoots him a knowing look and that guy melts further down into his seat, eyes staring straight ahead and–

Fuck.

Mason’s attention is back on Edith, who is far more entertaining to watch than this musical. His fist flies to his mouth, teeth on knuckles and maybe drawing blood, to keep from letting out a groan that could rival the soprano belting high notes onstage. His senses are overwhelmed, frazzled on the fringes but her mouth is so wet and warm and–

He utters silent blasphemy and bucks into Edith’s mouth. Her hands squeeze, holding him in place, applying extra pressure and his eyes roll back and he almost forgets he’s in a theater full of a bunch of people. She uses her tongue to her advantage and he wishes she wouldn’t and wishes she would use it more. He is a mess of contradictions but eventually settles on the thought of don’t. stop.

“Mmm,” she says and even after she’s bent him completely and utterly to her will, even after she leaves him shattered and a little overexposed, even after she’s drawn every sensation from him, she keeps sucking.

“Edith.” He’s somewhere between this world and the next.

Undead but dying again.

She raises her chin. Meeting his hazy gaze, an omniscient smirk gracing her perfect lips. She’s been spending too much time with him. His influence has rubbed off on her but she looks so good wearing it.

“I need to use the restroom,” she says, zipping him back up. She stands.

He reaches for her. “Me too.”

“Well then, come on.” She locks her fingers with his and leads him out of the theater.

-

Much later he is home, in their bed, combing fingers through her hair. Enjoying the sensation of skin on skin.

“What did you think of the musical?”

“Ten out of ten, would do it again.”

“Oh yeah? What was your favorite part?”

“That soprano who could hold that high note.”

She laughs and kisses his chest. Then they fall into their familiar rhythm, a routine of laughter and talking and love-making. It’s been two years of this and still she sinks her sun into his skin. And he wants it–to bask in her warmth forever.

“I love you so much,” she says.

Still foreign sometimes but with each repetition becoming natural, he replies, “I love you too.”

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twenty-Two

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

content warnings: secondhand embarrassment, i dont know how skiing works, poor editing, NSFW 🔥

***

To Nesta’s horror, Cassian was serious when he said he’d teach her how to ski. Nevermind the fact that it’s his birthday, and they should be having a lazy morning together filled with cuddles and breakfast in bed. Instead, they’ve been up since six in the morning without food or drink, just to shuffle around in the snow while Cassian repeats the same instructions over and over. By late morning, the rest of their group has gotten up and joined them at the beginner’s trail to be firsthand witnesses to Nesta’s humiliation.

She stares down at the blinding white slope before her and inhales a breath of frigid mountain air, trying to steel her nerves before she has to push off the ground and take flight.

Cassian sees her hesitation and sighs. “Come on, Nesta,” he urges. “It’s thirty feet to the bottom of the hill.”

“Why is it so steep?” she demands, even though she knows this is a practice hill. Toddlers in skis are shuffling around them, hand in hand with their parents.

“You’re not falling to the bottom,” Cassian says, growing impatient. “You’re gliding.”

He’s already shown her how to maneuver with skis a dozen times already, and Nesta can see that he doesn’t have another dozen times left in him. Unfortunately for him, Nesta’s own patience was used up hours ago. Her stomach pangs with hunger, and she has a pounding headache from the cold and lack of sleep.

“Oh, come on, Nesta,” Gwyn calls from behind her. She hops up and down in her snow boots like a cheerleader. “You can do it!”

Nesta does not want to do it. She looks down at the hill, then back at Cassian with pleading eyes—eyes that he can’t see under her ski goggles anyway.

“I can’t take this anymore,” Azriel mutters from somewhere. He picks up his ski poles and points to Emerie. “Ski lift?”

“Sure—” she starts to say, and then remembers that she’s here to support Nesta. “Not now,” she amends.

“Just go,” Cassian turns to tell them. “At least some of us will be having fun.” Nesta watches as he goes over to Emerie and Az to give advice on the trails, the same frustration from last night building in her chest.

Stupid ski trip. Stupid uninvited guests. Stupid birthday that Cassian isn’t even treating like a birthday.

Gritting her teeth, Nesta jabs her ski poles into the ground. She’ll conquer this hill, and then she’ll conquer the rest of the trail, and then she’ll take her skis and set them on fire.

With everyone briefly preoccupied and no eyes on her, Nesta pushes herself downhill. Her skis slip a little as she takes off but she readjusts her feet the way Cassian showed her, regaining control. She takes a deep breath, realizing the height isn’t as scary as she thought it would be. Testingly, she bends her knees and pushes herself farther, gaining speed.

“Oh, oh, look!” she hears Gwyn say from behind her. “She’s doing it!”

The voice breaks Nesta out of her precarious concentration, and she almost misses the kid right in front of her skiing at the pace of a turtle. Gasping, Nesta swerves at the last second to avoid running him over.

Her skis clack into each other and she feels her ankle twist, and then she’s down. Hard. Her face meets snow and her ski gear jabs into her body as she tumbles down the rest of the hill, until she finally meets flat ground and rolls to a painful stop.

Nesta only hears a dull roar in her ears as she slowly pushes herself upright. Ignoring alarmed looks from stray skiers around her, she reaches forward and unstraps one ski from her foot, then the other. Her goggles fall to the ground next. Once free, she stands up and walks away, ignoring the calls of her friends from the hilltop.

She walks until she loses sight of the trail and then the resort, until the flattened and trampled snow piles up into powdery mounds untouched by human presence. A cropping of towering evergreens appears before her, and she heads straight for the thicket without pausing.

Once safely entombed by the dark tree trunks and frosted branches, Nesta releases a breath and screams. Screams until the frustration and anger within her bluntens just a little.

The forest absorbs her fire and answers with silence.

“Better now?” Cassian’s voice comes from behind her.

Nesta whirls, ready to fling her next scream at him for having the nerve to follow her, but she only restrains herself because it’s his birthday. Guilt and humiliation nips at her; she shouldn’t be doing this on his birthday. “Leave me alone.” Her voice is raw from shrieking.

Cassian only takes a step closer to Nesta, eyeing her up and down. “You’re not hurt, right? ’Cause that would be embarrassing for you.”

Any edge that was taken off starts to build up again, and Nesta really doesn’t want to look at him right now. “Cassian—”

“Your face is turning red,” he suddenly gasps, pointing. “You should try yelling again, babe. I don’t think the entire resort heard you last time.”

Done with her boyfriend’s shit, Nesta releases a growl and rushes at him. He’s a lot closer than she realized, and in a blink she slams right into his broad chest and shoves him with all her might.

Cassian laughs, short and blunt, and pushes her right back. Her back hits hard-packed snow and then he’s on top of her, pinning her wrists loosely beside her head. Icy wetness seeps past the neck of her jacket.

“Do you want me to fucking bite you?” Nesta snarls, getting in Cassian’s face.

“Always,” he says without hesitation, pressing closer to her. “But first you gotta take a breather.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she seethes back. At this rate, she really might bite him. She wants to see his smug face drop when he realizes he pushed her too far.

“You might have an aneurysm at this rate with your anger issues.” He pouts prettily. “Imagine how sad that would make me.”

“I DON’T HAVE ANGER ISSUES!” she shrieks.

Cassian barely blinks. Nesta breathes heavily in the ensuing silence, realizing how embarrassing this is for her. Yet she doesn’t know how to stop.

Closing her eyes, she drops her head to the ground and turns away. Wishing she could sink into the ground and vanish for a few minutes, at least until she gets herself under control again.

After a moment of quiet, she feels the back of Cassian’s fingers brush her neck. “I wondered where that spitfire girl went,” he says lowly. “She didn’t die. You just hid her very well.”

Nesta’s body doesn’t know whether to feel soothed or incited by the touch, the words. “Does it make you happy?” she breathes, her eyes still closed. “That she’s still there?”

“It would be murder if you ever got rid of her. Don’t you dare,” he threatens.

Nesta huffs a derisive laugh. It’s easy for him to say, when he isn’t the one that has to live with it. “I bet you’re enjoying this.”

“Only if you are.” He sounds completely genuine, and Nesta feels him pluck something out of her hair—likely a snowflake.

Realizing Cassian has long since released her wrists, she opens her eyes and stares at the column of his neck. She doesn’t see the regret and concern on his face when he says, “I ruined today, didn’t I?” She watches him swallow before he adds, “I’m sorry, Nes.”

“It’s your birthday,” she mutters, looking away. “You can do whatever you want.” Even if it’s spending the whole day skiing.

“You’re right about that.” His warm breath hits her nose, and now that Nesta’s head is somewhat clear, she can feel every place where his body settles into hers.

Before she can betray herself and forget how upset she was at him only a few minutes ago, Cassian pushes up and off of her. Frigid air replaces where he was just sprawled, and then he’s holding out a hand to Nesta. “We’re going back to our room,” he says, watching Nesta’s feet closely as he helps her stand. “You can ride on my back.”

“Why?” Nesta grumbles, brushing herself off. “I can walk fine.”

“You twisted your right ankle on the way down that hill, and you started limping as soon as you thought you were out of sight.” Cassian turns around and points at his back. “Get on while I’m being nice.”

That makes Nesta scoff, because he’s always nice, but she has little fight left today. She tries to reach up to wrap her arms around his neck, but Cassian grabs her legs and hitches her up onto his back before she can struggle.

She responds with a scowl, clasping her hands across his chest and getting comfortable. “You noticed I was hurt but didn’t have a problem with tackling me to the ground?”

Cassian squeezes her thighs and holds her closer, tossing a blinding smile over his shoulder. “Sorry if I wasn’t expecting you to try to jump me with an injured foot. You took me by surprise.”

“Bullshit,” Nesta says as they start walking out of the trees. “You did it on purpose.”

“Do you like starting fights, Archeron?”

“Do you?” she retorts.

They bicker back and forth like that until they reach the resort, and even once they’re inside the lobby, Cassian doesn’t put Nesta down. The exhaustion of the day has settled over the both of them by then, and the elevator ride up to the penthouse is peacefully quiet.

Back at the empty suite, Cassian carefully lowers Nesta to her feet. “Take your clothes off,” is all he says before heading for the bathroom, shedding his heavy outer jacket as he goes. Nesta has no problem listening; she’s all too happy to take her snow-drenched gear off and breathe air-conditioned air again.

She only realizes as she’s removing her boots that her overwrought emotions must have dulled the real pain of her fall. Her entire body aches down to the bone, and her twisted ankle has it the worst. Inspecting the swollen skin around her foot, she wonders if Cassian will make her see a doctor when the sound of a running faucet pulls her attention. Still dressed in her thermal underwear, Nesta pads over to the bathroom.

Inside, the room is dim, and the only light comes in from the single window panel at the far end of the room. Cassian sits on the rim of the clawfoot tub as it fills with heated water, already naked.

Nesta coughs, caught off guard. The sight is far from unfamiliar to her, and yet she hates to admit that she’ll never not react to it.

Cassian looks up at her, meeting her eyes head on, and a giggle almost escapes her.

“What’s that dumb look on your face?” he says with high brows. “Take your clothes off and get in.”

Nesta firmly schools her face into obedience. Is she a grown woman or a schoolgirl? she chides herself as she strips naked. But as soon as she’s free of her top and leggings, Cassian stops her. “Turn around,” he says.

Is this a sex thing? She hopes it’s a sex thing. She does as she’s told, and hears Cassian hiss in a breath. Glancing at the mirror over the sink, Nesta winces when she realizes what he sees. “Damn.” Her back is peppered with still-forming bruises from her fall, along with her legs and ribs.

Getting up, Cassian approaches her and cautiously runs his fingers over a reddened spot on her ribs. “I think a ski pole stabbed me there,” Nesta says, frowning down at the bruise. She looks like shit, and not at all in a desirable way.

“How’s your ankle?” Cassian kneels to check for himself, handling her like a porcelain doll. He presses gently above the bone where she twisted it. “Does that hurt?”

Nesta considers saying yes, just so he can keep fussing over her like this, but she shakes her head. “I’m fine. Just a little achy.”

A sudden chaste kiss between her legs makes her yelp, and she twists to find Cassian still on his knees, grinning sheepishly up at her. “You know what can help with those aches?”

Nesta blanks as Cassian runs a calloused hand up her inner leg. “Uh…really good dick?”

Cassian is visibly trying not to smile when he says, “A bath.” He stands and turns the faucet off, before going to help Nesta into the tub.

Steaming hot water just beneath the point of being uncomfortable hits Nesta’s calves, then her hips and chest. She might moan in relief as she sinks into the bath.

Cassian settles in across from her, taking up most of the tub space as Nesta twists her ponytail into a bun. He takes her ankle onto his lap and starts massaging above the injury. He notes, “We haven’t been alone like this in ages.”

“I remember when it was my job to be the chill guy,” he continues, rubbing circles into her leg. “I was the one doing stupid shit, and now I have to tell other people to knock it off when they do stupid shit. Since when did Azriel take my role?” he mutters to himself.

Nesta tilts her head against the lip of the tub and watches Cassian, taking in the barely visible lines of weariness on his face. She was once in a similar boat, too, where she had no one to answer to but herself. “Do you miss it?” she asks hesitantly. “Life before we got to know each other?” A life spent in the company of his friends, meeting different women every other week and being as free as possible.

“No,” he says easily. “I miss life before we had to share each other with other people.” He meets her eyes and smirks. “Who knew monogamy could be so exciting?”

Nesta’s stomach curls at his honesty, and she doesn’t know what to say. In the silence, Cassian reaches for a washcloth and lathers it with a bar of pine scented soap. But before he can reach for Nesta, she snatches the washcloth from him and pulls herself forward into the cradle of his limbs. What she can’t say, she’ll just have to show.

She starts soaping up his arms, granting extra attention to his tattooed biceps.

“You’re hurt—” he tries to protest.

“Shut up.” She runs the washcloth over his shoulders, across his collarbones.

When Nesta reaches his chest, she starts, “Earlier in the woods...I lost control.”

Cassian looks wary, but she goes on, “I don’t know why I did that. I thought I didn’t do that anymore.”

“I know why,” he says simply. “You were having a bad day. It was overwhelming.” He shrugs.

“But I’m better than that,” she insists. “You might think it's cute or funny when I—lose it, but I spent years training myself not to fall apart at the slightest inconvenience.” She takes in a breath, her movements slowing. “I learned how to escape reality, remember? I climbed into books and TV and songs, and at one point my entire life passed me by because I refused to participate in it. If I didn't participate, I couldn't be hurt.” She wrings out the washcloth, and Cassian carefully pries it out of her grip.

Nesta places her empty hands on her thighs, avoiding his touch, his eyes. “I think you were one of the only people who ever made me want to come back to real life,” she offers awkwardly. “That's why you made me uncomfortable at first. There were times I would look at you and think, He's better than anyone from the books. If I start living on the same plane as him, I can have him. Does that make sense?”

Cassian swallows visibly, but nods.

“It seemed like an impossible thing to do at the time—participate in the real world, make real friends. But have you noticed? I don’t read as many romance novels anymore.” Not because she doesn’t love them, but because she no longer needs them to remind herself she's alive.

She looks up at him, searching for his thoughts and opinions. Cassian looks like he's doing the same with her face, but then he says, “If you need to scream, even if it’s at me, tell me. I’ll take you somewhere far away, or I’ll let you have it out right in front of everyone. Whatever the hell you want, as long as you tell me. Please.”

Nesta starts to shake her head, adamant, but he stops her with the most pitiful look he's ever given her. “There’s nothing I hate seeing more than you trying to swallow down your rough edges. Even in the woods, you were about to tame yourself before I provoked you.” Cassian holds out a pinky, completely serious. “Consider it my birthday gift. Don’t do that shit anymore.”

Nesta stares at him, his plea warring with years of conditioned self-restraint. “I already got you a birthday gift,” she finally grumbles, but hooks his pinky with hers.

He seems satisfied, but doesn't let go of her pinky. With surprising strength, he uses their hooked fingers to pull Nesta into him, and she just barely catches herself on his chest before he brings her head down and kisses her deep.

Nesta already has her legs adjusted around his waist and his cock pressed against her stomach before she can pull away far enough to choke, “What’s this for?”

He leans up and catches her lips with his again, dipping his tongue just far enough inside to flick the roof of her mouth before retreating. “For existing. And for those aches.” He presses down lightly on a bruise at her back and runs a soothing thumb over it right after. Between her thighs, she feels him growing hard.

Nesta huffs a distracted laugh, the steam from the water sending a red flush up her chest and neck. It's suddenly very hot, and she unconsciously squirms in his lap. “I just realized I’ve never had sex in the bath before,” she says out of nowhere, rubbing her chest and quickly dropping her arms. She’s babbling, she knows. Contrary to popular media, being a seductress is harder than it looks. Half the time she has no idea what to say, and she considers herself lucky that Cassian is driven wild by it anyway.

Cassian entertains her, nodding along while his fingers slip past her ass, brushing her folds. “That sounds like something that should be amended, don’t you think?”

“Well, in terms of comfort I’m not sure if it’ll be better than the shower—” She’s cut off by a finger teasing at her entrance, making her jerk. “Yes,” she says quickly. “Yes, it should be amended.”

He hums thoughtfully, leaning in to nibble and suck at her neck. Her hardened nipples brush against his chest, and Nesta pushes closer into Cassian’s embrace. She’s half-rocking against him when she rasps, “How do you give head in the bath? Do I, like, have to hold my breath underwater?”

“You don’t need to know how,” he mutters, grasping her by the hips and tugging her up so that he’s eye level with her chest. He starts leaving a trail of openmouthed kisses across her breasts. “You’re not doing anything I don’t tell you to do today.”

“What do you mean?” Nesta’s grip on Cassian’s shoulders tightens when he brings a pink nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and pulling off with a flick of his tongue. She can’t move her hips for fear of climaxing at the slightest touch. “It’s your birthday,” she manages to get out. “And I like seeing what I can do to you.”

“Then save it for your birthday.” He pulls her back down firmly into his lap, making her thighs clench with restraint. “Because I like seeing what I do to you more.”

To prove his point, he parts her legs and slips one finger inside her. The smug pride on his face at what he finds makes Nesta move to grip the rim of the tub. Having a pretty boyfriend might have been a mistake, she thinks. That kind of face will get away with anything. Right now, for example.

“Tell me what you want, then,” she pleads.

Cassian leans back, pretending to think. “Sit on my cock,” he finally says.

An easy enough order, one Nesta is all too excited to carry out in only a few movements. It takes a minute to adjust to the fullness and the stretch, and the water doesn’t help in dousing the fire in her veins at all. With heat pounding deep in her core, Nesta releases a terse breath. Her tongue darts out to wet her lower lip, and Cassian watches.

“Now don’t move,” he orders.

“What?” Nesta’s knees involuntarily clench around his hips, her body already craving the feel of moving against him, on top of him.

He levels her with a look. “No clenching, no rocking, no touching.” He hisses in a thoughtful breath, combing a wet hand through his hair. “Actually, that isn’t very fair, is it?”

Nesta is about to nod furiously when he says, “You still need to wash yourself.” He hands her the washcloth she used on him earlier and leans his elbow on the rim of the tub. “Be quick about it. No games.”

Nesta’s eyes widen, looking at the washcloth, then back up at Cassian. Excitement tingles in her fingers and toes, and she doesn’t want to argue with him.

Gulping tightly, she soaps up the washcloth, then smooths the lather over her arms. It’s hard to focus on what she’s doing when there’s a pounding pressure between her legs, and the only thing that keeps her going is that she’ll be rewarded when she’s done. Cassian doesn’t bother watching her, instead tipping his head back against the tub and closing his eyes. From this angle, the tendons in his neck stand out clearly, and the hard line of his jaw looks tense. Nothing on his calm face reveals that Nesta is the reason for his tension, though.

Bringing the soapy cloth over her breasts, Nesta looks up to see if Cassian is secretly peeking at her through his lashes. His eyes remain shut, the perfect portrait of a man at rest.

Suddenly, his hips shift beneath hers, and Nesta nearly drops the washcloth. Straightening up, she has to use herculean strength to force her inner walls to relax around him. “You moved,” she accuses him.

“I was getting comfortable,” he says, still not opening his eyes.

“Why can you move but I can’t?”

That gets him to look at her. His eyes are hooded and lazy when he says, “You’re still talking?”

“Maybe if you had clearly explained the rules—” Nesta starts to grumble, but shuts up when he quirks a brow at her. She won’t lose this game, not for anything—even if she’s split at the seams with Cassian inside her and is one thread away from completely snapping.

Now fully alert, Cassian watches Nesta finish washing up. He hasn’t touched her once since he pulled her onto his cock, and now Nesta tries to make up for the aching lack by pretending her roaming hands are his.

It’s not until the washcloth reaches her tummy that Nesta pauses, her hand frozen over her lower abdomen. Because there, even past the cloth, she can feel him. The skin just slightly bulges, and she looks down at herself with her lips slightly fallen apart. She didn’t realize he was nestled so deep in her, but now she swallows past a lump in her throat. “Cassian…” she starts weakly. Every last muscle is trembling with the effort to stay still. Can he really be unaffected by all of this? Is she really the only one dying right now?

Without intending to, her hand drops the cloth, slipping toward her clit. She can only brush the sensitive nub before Cassian says quietly, “Don’t.”

So this is against the rules, too. She can’t even bring herself to look at him, she’s strung so tight. Taking a shallow breath, she grabs the pitcher from the shelf by the tub and fills it with water, using it to rinse off the suds. When she’s done, with water droplets running down every inch of her, she dares to look at Cassian again. Her anxiousness to get this over with must be written all over her face, and yet.

“Good,” Cassian says, voice just a little grated.

Nesta’s heart rate picks up a beat. She’s finally getting her reward.

“Now sit still and pretty while I rest,” he says, sinking even lower into the tub—and causing his cock to dig even deeper into Nesta. “This is a bath, not a splash pad.”

Nesta chokes. “What—I thought—”

“Hm?”

She presses her lips together tightly, refusing to protest. He can’t make her warm his cock like this forever, can he? Soon enough he’ll crack.

Four minutes in, and he doesn’t crack. While Nesta gets closer to crying by the second, she has yet to find evidence that he’s even aware of her presence. Her only proof is the fact that he’s still rock hard, occasionally twitching against the depths of her walls.

At five minutes in, Nesta can’t help it. She breaks, and her inner muscles clamp around Cassian with a viselike grip. She half-sobs in pain and relief, and her hips jerk of their own accord.

Cassian’s eyes fly open at that, the pupils blown wide, and Nesta has to catch herself on his chest to keep from crumbling. If she had half a working brain left, she would have noticed the trembling restraint that lines Cassian’s limbs, or the way his eyes burn with welling desire and even sympathy. Instead, she turns her face into his chest and begs weakly, “Pleasepleaseplease.” Her thighs keep shifting, rubbing back and forth to create friction, but she can’t give herself permission to move the way she truly needs until Cassian gives her permission.

Nesta feels Cassian’s broad hand come up to carefully brush her back. She nearly weeps with relief at the touch, but he doesn’t go any further. “What do you want, baby?” he says roughly.

“You,” she forces out. She doesn’t care if this is losing.

“Me, what?” He sounds like he’s about to lose, too.

“I want you to fuck me.” She’s nearly whimpering, trying not to squirm on his lap.

Cassian, the horrible bastard, has the nerve to snicker in her ear, though he sounds more than a little wrecked when he says, “Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

In a flash, he has Nesta pinned against the porcelain tub. And before she can decide whether to laugh or moan or cry at the turn of events, Cassian covers her mouth with his and thrusts into her, giving her everything she wants.

***

Hours later, after they’ve sated themselves on sex and food and Cassian is napping sprawled out across Nesta’s back, she receives a text from Azriel telling her he won’t be there to celebrate the rest of Cassian’s birthday.

Az: You two deserve the alone time. Also I didn’t get him a present.

Another text pops up before Nesta can reply.

Az: I did order a cake to be sent up to your room, though. Don’t worry, there’s not a picture of your boobs on it.

Nesta’s eyes widen at that, not knowing why—or how—that would be an option. But she completely forgot about getting cake in all the unexpected hassle of their vacation, and not for the first time is she grateful that Azriel came along with them on their trip.

Typing back a quick thank you, Nesta clicks her phone off and curls further into Cassian’s warmth. He shifts on top of her, hugging her closer, and a moment later she feels his nose poking at the crook of her neck. “Good morning,” he murmurs thickly, sleep coating his voice.

“It’s six p.m,” she snickers. The sun slipped behind the mountains just a few minutes ago, leaving the room a blue dark.

Cassian responds by slipping his hands under her oversized tee, rubbing the muscles along her back. “Where’s everyone else?” They haven’t seen Gwyn, Emerie, or Az in hours.

Nesta turns around in Cassian’s arms to face him. “Consider them gone. We’re by ourselves for the rest of the night.”

He perks up at that. “Really?”

A knock sounds from the penthouse door, and Nesta remembers Azriel’s text. She squirms out from under Cassian’s weight with some difficulty and stands off the bed. She points a stern finger at him. “Don’t move from here,” she orders. “I’ll be back.”

Cassian leans back, looking questioning and amused, but Nesta has already jammed her feet into slippers and left the room by then.

She accepts the covered platter from room service at the door and leaves a tip, before carrying the cake over to the coffee table in the living area and setting it down. Within ten minutes, she has an entire setup arranged: the fireplace is up and roaring, the fur throw she stole from Cassian’s couch to bring on vacation is spread out before it, and the cake candles are lit. The Italian dinner that she ordered earlier also arrives by then, and once everything is laid out, she calls for Cassian to come downstairs.

He’s fully dressed in a sweater and jeans when he appears at the top of the short set of stairs, and he looks so excited to see her that he doesn’t notice the cake or the dinner until he’s only a few steps away from her. Very slowly, his smile freezes. “What’s all this?”

“It’s your birthday,” Nesta says. “Duh.”

“But I thought we already celebrated,” he stumbles, looking around. “With the skiing, and the bathtub—”

Nesta makes a face. “You thought that was celebrating?” She shakes her head and beckons Cassian over to the fur throw, right before the table decked out with food.

He sits down beside Nesta, looking over her in nothing but her thin white shirt. “Are you cold? Do you want my sweater?”

She rolls her eyes as far back as they can go. “No, I want you to focus and make a wish before 6:27.”

“How do you know my birth time?”

“Will you do it or not?” she threatens. The candle wax is melting onto the cake.

Cassian stares at her for a moment longer before finally facing the cake. Closing his eyes, he mouths something unintelligible and blows the candles out.

Nesta claps softly. “Happy two years away from thirty. What did you wish for?” She leans closer.

He leans away. “It doesn’t come true if you go around announcing it.”

Nesta’s shoulders drop. “Wishes aren’t real, Cassian.”

“That’s what you say.” He swipes a dollop of chocolate frosting off the cake with his finger and holds it out to Nesta.

Smiling, she wraps her lips around his finger, scraping the chocolate off with her teeth and licking it clean. He sucks on the same finger when she’s done, chasing after her taste and the lingering frosting. “What do you want first?” he asks. “Dinner or dessert?”

“This.” Nesta pulls out a small box from under the table, placing it in front of Cassian. She didn’t have time to find wrapping paper or a bag, but she’s a bit proud of herself anyway.

Cassian once again looks taken by surprise. “You didn’t have to…” He trails off as he reaches for the box. It’s already obvious what it is, but he still opens it carefully, hesitantly.

He stares at the silver watch for a little while and then looks back up at Nesta. “I…” He clears his throat.

“What do you think?” In all honesty, Nesta already knows. But she needs to hear it from him.

He meets her eyes. “It’s so…normal. Do you know what I mean?”

It’s the type of gift that Nesta’s mother would have given to her father, the type of gift that wives would give to their husbands. Not necessarily original or thoughtful, but domestic.

“Since you like to spend your time thinking about taxes and minivans and stuff,” Nesta says, remembering their last conversation about the future, “I thought you’d like something normal.”

Cassian laughs at that. He takes the watch out of the box and turns it over in the firelight, still a little dumbstruck. “I love it,” he says roughly.

Nesta kicks him in the knee. “It’s a watch, not an engagement ring.”

But he doesn’t hear a word, already clasping it onto his wrist.

***

Their last day at the resort starts early with Gwyn, Emerie, and Az banging on the suite door at five in the morning. Though Cassian is already up by then, Nesta snarls and snaps like a bitch at being dragged out of bed to watch the sunrise.

With everyone’s bags packed and waiting at the door, they all gather on the balcony connected to the suite in content silence. Azriel nurses a thermos of coffee that he refuses to share with Cassian, and Nesta is wrapped up in that fur throw she loves, half-asleep against Emerie.

When the sky starts lightening, Cassian pulls Nesta away from Emerie and into his body. “You’re gonna miss it,” he murmurs onto the top of her head.

She blinks awake, looking out at the sky slowly being streaked with a dozen colors. From here, the view over the mountains and the quiet town some miles beneath the resort is breathtaking. Easily better than any sunrise Cassian could have shared with Nesta back home.

It’s beautiful, and in that moment he decides he wants to see even more beautiful places than this with Nesta. Someday.

“Pretty,” she yawns, tilting her head back against his chest. Cassian feels guilty for keeping her up so late the night before, but he’s not ashamed of how she rests in his arms right now.

After the sun climbs past the lowest peak, the group of them slowly but surely come more alive. Emerie asks Az to go inside with her and do a final check before they leave, and Nesta shakes both the blanket and Cassian’s arms off herself.

“Some coffee will wake you up,” he promises her, leaving her outside in the dewy morning air with a kiss on the temple.

When Cassian returns to the balcony with two freshly brewed cups, he finds Gwyn and Nesta in deep conversation. “I never apologized for crashing your weekend,” Gwyn is saying.

“You don’t need to,” Nesta responds, watching the world wake up below her.

“Still,” Gwyn says, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “I acted out of character, didn’t I?”

Nesta turns to her then, the sun haloing her face, and the look of understanding she wears makes Cassian take a step back inside.

“He does that to me,” Gwyn goes on, looking lost as ever. “I don’t know why he does that to me.”

“First love will do that to anyone,” Nesta says.

This isn’t a conversation Cassian should be overhearing, he realizes. Turning around with his coffees, he goes to find Emerie and Azriel instead.

In the living area, Emerie realizes at the last minute that she’s missing her phone charger. By the time she finds it, Nesta and Gwyn have rejoined the group.

Cassian hands Nesta her still-warm coffee with a warmer smile. “You ready to get out of here?”

“Hell yes, baby.” She slings an arm around his waist.

They barely make it to the resort lobby before Azriel and Gwyn start arguing over which route to take home.

“Why would you add an extra hour to your trip for no reason?” Azriel is saying.

“It’s none of your business!” Gwyn retorts.

“She’s scared of highways,” Emerie inserts.

While they bicker on the way to check out, Cassian finds Nesta’s hand and runs a finger down her palm. “Hey, Nes?”

“Hm?” She looks up at him.

He curls his fingers around hers. “Thank you for doing this.”

***

a/n: i cant keep posting chapters right before i sit down to cry in front of kdramas

tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland @moodymelanist @pixieelea

[gluteus-canis-familiaris]

art post . 07

IT’S THE HBOWAR ART POST : RAGGEDY ASS MARINES EDITION BAYBEH

was too lazy to put my sig on the scans but...... it's the HBOwar fandom...... there are only 10 of us active at a time anyway adfjfjhshagahahaha jk jk

no, no, no, this is not the product of my anxiety when I thought school was starting, only for classes to get postponed for a whole 2 weeks because of a bad wave of omicron, thereby extending the period of anxiety, and then me actually catching it, and subsequently going more nuts than usual while in self-isolation…. nooo…… why would you think that

my notes for this are a real mess, no joke, pls continue reading at your own risk looool

Around this time last year, I started a new sketchbook!!! It felt really nice because it takes so long for me to finish one :( My first sketch in the new one happened to be of Frank Castle and Billy Russo (the Punisher and Jigsaw). I wasn’t that happy with it, had no intention of posting it, and it’s not even HBOWar (??? she doesn’t even go here HAHAHA), but it ended up in this post anyway because I feel like I’ve come full circle by starting 2022 with more USMC goodness! (I mean it’s Jon Bernthal and Recon Marines sooooo not that far of a leap??? also this will be the closest I’ll ever get to making GK/The Punisher crossover content for myself akhkdhkjfha)

The ooooonly reason any of the other sketches came to be is because I sat down for 3 nights in a row, AB SO LUTE LY DETERMINED to draw BradNate before I was thrown back into the torture of a new semester, and I would put a colored pencil down on the page– and my hand would go NOPENOPENOPEABORTABORTABORT

.... so here we are with a whole page of Doc Badass Bandana Bryan and another whole fuqin page of AndyEddie instead akdjfhf  

If I’m being honest though, I’m most happy with the AndyEddie ones 💖💖💖 the bottom left is from the scene in Episode 6 where Ack Ack comes back and tells Hillbilly ‘don’t blame yourself, you did the right thing’ (which is like….bAbE NOOOooOOOooooo) but I mistakenly put them both in ponchos!! Only Hillbilly was smol under a poncho in the actual scene!!! Very minor, but I feel the need to say it!!!! 

If you’re thinking the paper of the Doc Bryan page looks like someone took an angry damp q-tip to their watercolor pencils thinking it was cool, then you’d be damn right. 

And THEN as if my dumbass didn’t think that spending 3 days waffling about before even attempting BradNate was already a red flag, my brain said bUt i nEeD tO seE tHeM iN tHeIr dReSs bLuEs !!! and the rest of me thought, LeT’s dO iT !!!! UGGGGGHHHHHNNNNGGGHHHH SO THAT WAS THAT

Ended up spending a lot of my sick days just looking up the particulars of the Marines dress uniform, which was really fun!! And then I laid down my sketch and made the mistake of deciding on serious coloring instead of my lazy 1-3 tone shading because i wAntEd tHe rEd pIpiNG tO rEalLy sTaNd oUT which was….. a lot less fun…. If it wasn’t already obvious, I nearly abandoned this one several times, I was sooooo damn lazy to color everything in, only to return to it 'cause I was crawling up the walls from isolation lol

Disclaimer that in spite of the joy of reading up on the uniform standards, I really couldn’t 👏 be 👏 arsed 👏 to make the ribbons and medals accurate, I sincerely apologize 🥲Nate magically has a Purple Heart now pffffft

In the end…. it doesn’t really look like either Brad or Nate to me 😂😂😂 but I’m very happy to have attempted it at least! and getting over the fear of the first try makes subsequent doodles a lot easier and less stressful, so here’s to future Fancy BradNate yaaaaay 

I had a looot of years in between my first watch of BoB and my first watches of The Pacific and GK, which came closely after each other, and weirdly enough I never got around to doing fanart in all that time no matter how much I wanted to :(((( So this feels like such a great personal turning point in my HBOwar fanhood!!! (ok there is exactly 1 unfinished Winnix sketch that is so unfinished they don’t even got gaddamn eyes and eyebrows and it won’t see the light of day nope nope) 

[adhd-attention-deficit-dumbass]

Do you have any executive dysfunction hacks?? More specifically ones that relate to schoolwork and keeping myself motivated? Love your blog by the way 💖💖

Omg thank you so so much it makes me so happy to hear that you like my blog you are literally the sweetest🥺💕💖💘

I’m really sorry this took so long to answer I have been having the hardest time with executive dysfunction lately (ironically) and I procrastinated answering.

Hackning your executive dysfunction ✨

+Study edition📚📝

#1 Learn your triggers and how to spot executive dysfunction🧠

A lot of times I can tell that certain circumstances makes my executive dysfunction worse. And recognising these ”triggers” can help you become more aware of your behaviors. Knowing what contributes to your executive dysfunction will help you work towards creating strategies to overcome it.

A few examples of my triggers:

Not getting dressed in the morning

Skipping meals🍳

Working from home 🏡

Not washing my face in the morning🧼

Not using my calendar 🗓

Skipping workouts 🏋️���♀️

Not brushing my teeth

Now a lot of these are tied to my physical health and hygiene and sometimes these are things that my exectutive dysfunction keep me from doing. But I try to look at them as medicine. I have to eat and brush my teeth and workout because it makes my brain and body happy. It’s hard but with practice you’ll get there.

By avoiding your triggers you’re at least setting yourself up for succsess. As silly as it sounds. Getting dressed in the morning can make the difference between lying on the couch all say and having anxiety because I haven’t gotten anything done and actually being productive and beating my executive dysfunction.

#2 Plan everything and write it down🗓✏️

I have a lot of issues with working memory. It’s just not there a lot of days. I forget everything. When I’m trying not to forget things, I’m spending a lot more energy than non ADHD people just trying to remember. Now this is a lot of energy that you can save by simply writing it down. Use a planner or a to do list or fifty of them if you have to.

I use a very simple system for this. I take a piece of paper and write ”to do” then I make 2 seperate colums. Above the first I write ”overall” or something like it. There I write down literally everything I can think of. ”Study” ”shower” ”laundry” ”make to do list” ” ”put away dirty socks” ”think about what to make for dinner” whatever, big or small.

Once that list is finished, I write above the second column ”today” and I pick from the first list what things I need/want to have finished on the same day. Try not to go overboard with this one. Think baby steps. It’s easy to become excited and think that you’re going to do everything because you often will get a burst of energy from planning stuff but stick to maybe 4-5 things a day at first.

Now the hardest part is to keep doing it. Usually you do really good for 2 weeks and then forget about it. Especially when the benefits are starting to show, you tend to forget your system because things are doing so good and then you stop and end up right where you started.

The way I (sort of) solved this was to make weekly ”evaluations”. What I do is I sit down and evaluate how much I planned this week and how much of what I planned I actually acomplished. By doing this I held myself accountable.

#3 ”The one thing” strategy

Now if all else fails despite your best efforts and you have no energy or motivation to do any of the things you want/have to, this is a good strategy to get yourself into a more productive mindset or at least check one thing of your to-do list.

It’s pretty much self-explanatory. You pick one thing and one thing only, even if you have a mountain of things that has to get done. Ignore them. All of them. They don’t exist anymore, they’re poofed out out existance for now.

Instead put your energy into doing one productive thing. After you finished the one thing you’re done. 100% done. No more doing stuff for you. You get to throw yourself back in bed if you like, or get a snack, whatever.

What usually happens however is that you’ll feel more energized and motivated by having completed a task and you’ll feel like continuing. If that’s the case, GREAT, if not you at least got 1 thing done instead of nothing.

#4 Find a studying technique that actually works for you🔑

I’m going to be brutally honest with you. This right here☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻is what made the difference between passing and not passing my exams this year.

I struggled for a really long time with my studies, No matter if I spent 5 hours reading a text book it just. Didn’t. Stick. And I used to get so upset because I was trying sooooo hard and everyone else could do it so why not me? It really lowered my motivation because no matter how hard I tried I always failed.

I watched hundreds of ”how to study” and ”study tips” videos on youtube and read tumblr posts but I still never really understood why I was having such a hard time until I tried using flashcards and it changed my whole view on studying.

It turned out I wasn’t stupid or lazy. I could understand everything on the page but as soon as I had read it, it was gone. I couldn’t remember any of it so it didn’t matter that I actually understood the subject quite well because I could never remember the contents.

What changed the game for me entirely was switching entirely over to flash cards and memory based studying. I went from failing entirely to actually getting really good results.

(A lot of people with ADHD struggle with memory so I would suggest always incorporating a lot of ”memory based” studying even if your best study technique is based on a different strategy)

The moral of the story is that sometimes we struggle without knowing why and it’s only by trying new things that we find out that maybe we weren’t lacking the ability as much as we thought, we just needed the right key to unlock it.

I hope you find some of these tips at least a little bit helpful and i wish you luck with your studies📚✨

Feel free to comment/reblog with your own tips and hacks for executive dysfunction/study motivation☺️✨

PS: This is a sideblog so I reply to comments as @time-for-tea-and-flattery

[0aurelion-sol0]

Yo~

What's your opinion on the Will Byers DID theory? If you like it, which version do you like better? Both interpretations seem cool to me, though I personally like strangertheory's version better ^.^

Hi!

That's a very interesting question. I want to start by saying that I am a singlet, so I don't have DiD or OSDD. My knowledge of this condition is primarly known through medias I consume or some more "advanced" psychiatric documents or researches.

DiD is a condition that hasn't been always best represented or accurately represented since this condition varies from people who have it and so while there are similarities, the experience of it is very much unique and personal. It is also something that in a fictional setting with different genres, themes and tones is very hard to pull off or represent unless you go for the very realistic take on it.

It is bound to be, like many other things in fiction, dramatized. And speaking from a singlet perspective, who also had particular problems represented in fiction, I think it's okay as long as it's done right, in the setting, tone and genre it is in.

For example, we have today a lot more LGBTQ+ representation and like everything, unless you go for the fully realistic route, it's going to be simplified and dramatized. There's so many gender identities and sexual orientations today, you have to simplify it. And that goes for many other things that people care about in media, it has to be done right, but the writers still have a story to tell and unless that subject is the focus of the story, they're not gonna always spend their time talking about that. There is a story to tell.

Secondly, if it is the main focus of the story, that is where people have to do their research and really represent what they are talking about. Not some half-baked representation with dull arguments and points that come from a capitalist and conservative worldview. (Looking at you Disney.)

Now what you are referencing are @strangertheory 's and @kaypeace21 's theories which are about the show being about a DiD system where we see different alters evolving in said story with the host being Will Byers.

There is a lot of evidence pointing towards it, I'm gonna let you go see their posts and read it.

But their theories are very different in the way that they see the show portraying DiD, I have actually find quite a great way to describe the two takes.

@kaypeace21 's take is that elements of the DiD system have been externalised through science-"fictional" or supernatural means. Similar to Legion from the Marvel universe.

(David is a powerful mutant with DiD where each alters, if I remember correctly, has a different power or powers. (Which to this day is still one of the most BADASS thing I have ever come across though it must be quite terrifying for David.))

@strangertheory is an internalised POV on the DiD system existing in the show. She believes that what we are seeing right now is what is exclusively happening INSIDE the DiD system and that what we are experiencing is not our standard definition of the "real world". As in the physical world we all know. This would be in very vulgar terms happening inside Will's self, head, mind or brain. In a sense, it would be a more accurate representation of what DiD is about. A Shyamalan twist if you prefer.

(Though right now I don't have any word for word examples of such take, there is a show called MR.ROBOT that fits a bit of this description since there are moments in the show that we are seeing are only happening in the DiD system itself.

I recommend this show A LOT. It still is a bit dramatized but from what I know the DiD representation is quite accurate and pleased a lot of people with DiD. Also some people on the Stranger Things crew worked on that show.)

Now do I love the DiD theory ?

Heck yeah, I fucking love it! And with a big L! (Am I right "The First I love you?").

And I Love both of the takes and I think each one works at explaining the mysteries of this story. I even think that in some ways both could work well together.

I believe that DiD can be, without the meaning of being used, like many things a powerful storytelling "device" since it is connected to so many themes and other writing tools and is linked literally to the psyche, emotions and personalities of the characters.

I can understand why some people like both or one or respectfully and logically dislike both or one of the takes. But it is close to my belief about what the show is about or were even before I came into this fandom or on the internet, not as complex and thought out as the theory itself but pretty close in the overall themes and aspects of it.

(Though it bewilders me how much people lack imagination or are scared of such twist when I have seen so many of those types before whether it's done well or not, accurate or not.)

Now both @strangertheory and @kaypeace21 are intelligent people with very nuanced takes. And they had their fair share of completely unjust controversies coming from either rabbid ignorant shippers, far too sensible people or downright ignorant stupid people, most of the time 16 year olds. I am not saying that they are perfect, no one is, but the hate they have received is completely unjust.

And I am gonna lay it down right here, they are begging for an accurate representation here, they are not doing this because it just sounds cool and is edgy, they are actually wanting that The Duffers pull this off well. They would be very mad if they use all the imagery just to make it look cooler or scarier.

They are not bringer of truths, they are just like us. They are theorists, they believe in something that they think can explain the story they love and are experiencing. And so far, they have a pretty damn good track record.

They are analysing, dissecting the show because it's what they want to do and they believe in it and they believe the Duffers wants them to do that (I mean how come no one believes it when watching a show like that set in the 80's with so many references ?).

It is also supposed to be fun. Have fun for God's Sake! You can disagree with it but calling names and being disrespectful because somehow they don't agree with very basic, lazy and cliché theories (and no it's not being hypocrite, a lot of people barely do the work.) or are not on board with your creepy projection over the characters IS not okay.

And no, they aren't supporting p*d*philia as some people have claimed. How can you read these theories and come up to that conclusion ?

Most people haven't even read the DiD theory or have gone all the way through with it because they are lazy, easily bored people who don't have the time to just relax, process and think.

Stranger Things is not a kids show, some dumb teenage romance drama show with cool monsters! It's a very mature show, with real problems that are treated, out of which is trauma and mental health. Kids are killing people and even dying on this show. There is sexism, racism, abuse both physical and psychological.

It is a very mature and dark show. And you are being disrespectful to the Duffers when you say they are not that smart or that isn't that important. They are putting a lot of thoughts into this and the fact that no one really recognises this annoys me.

Or people only think it's important when it is only about the things they enjoy in the show. (Which is more hypocrite to me.) OR people are very stupid if they truly think that or are just jealous, bitter that two women have more imagination together and individualy than all of them or that person alone.

Color and costume choices, subtext, context, camera angles, directing, VFX, music, editing, sets, props, script, acting and editing are very important. All must be carefully done or you get very bad or generic stuff if you don't. If you love and you are passionate about the work, you put all the details you can into it.

And the Duffers and all the people working with them have already referenced those sort of things AND the practice of what we do on the internet. They are aware, they know because they have been in the same place too. They grew up with stories too, they made theories too whether it's on the internet or not.

At the end of the day, it is just a theory. An explanation of what is unfolding, may unfold or may have unfolded. I believe in it, I think it is reasonable, it has logic and it makes sense. It also has a lots of elements backing it up.

And the Duffers don't even have to go with DiD or mention it. Will creating some of the characters and supernatural events from his trauma is also similar and more accessible to the masses. But a Shyamalan twist can also work if it is done well.

And I am also open to other possibilities and theories, if they make sense and have enough elements IN THE SHOW and everything connected to it backing it up.

If the Duffers write something completely different but it is as good and also explains even better than this theory than I'll be okay. I love being wrong, it makes me learn new things and enhances the way I approach stories in the future.

If the Duffers only used this as some very inaccurate and disrespectful scary/abstract subtext without commiting to it. That is where I will have a problem.

Or write something completely incoherent with the rest of the show with a bad plot twist catering to the main public masses to sell the story even more and just make money so that they are safe with a fallacy of a work of fiction. Because they are cowards who didn't know how to manage themselves and baited entire audiences or listened to some crappy executive who didn't understand shit about the story. (wink wink, looking at a certain something...)

So yeah, I do love the DiD theory and both of it's takes and if it happens and is done right, with of course my perspective on the thing and PRIMARLY the perspective of people who have DiD or know a lot about it, I'll be pleased with it and I think it could be something very important for stories, people, the world and "art" in general.

Thank you for the question it was really fun! I hope I described the theory and the condition in the right way @kaypeace21 and @strangertheory and also the people who are concerned or know about it if I didn't let me know. Also, if you disagree with what I said, the way I said it or the subject itself let me also know IF it's respectful of course.

[mydearestshinobu]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷SPECIAL DAY

(A/N): This is so rush and I might edit this later sorry if this doesn't make sense but listen, this one is a very special cause in a few minutes my Graduation will start so i'm treating myself ok. THIS CONCEPT THINGY IS EVERYTHING I WANTED AND I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE TO SHINOBU, SHE'S VERY DISSAPOINTED IN ME IN THE PAST FEW DAYS BECAUSE OF JOE. I STILL LOVE YOU SHINOBU.

edit: i didn't edit cause im too lazy lmao

↬ Modern AU! Shinobu x Fem!Graduate reader

Warning(s): none!

: ̗̀➛ You didn't expect that Shinobu, your best friend, would come to your Graduation day, you thought she will be busy because of school works but that seems isn’t to be the case.

: ̗̀➛ She will accompany you for the rest of the day. She’ll ask you what do you want to do and go for it!

: ̗̀➛ So you decided to just go and drive anywhere, and she agrees to it of course. She believed that today is your special day (it is!) there is no way she’ll decline.

: ̗̀➛ Shinobu will prepare everything! It's like she’s spoiling you. Lots of pillows, blankets, snacks everything! She’ll even stop by in the flower shop to buy you a bouquet for your hard work.

: ̗̀➛ Sound trip! you would sing and shout like it's releasing your stress after all that hardship you go through. Shinobu will casually sing along and honestly, you prefer to listen to Shinobu’s voice rather than the singer of the song.

: ̗̀➛ She will take a lot of pictures as if she’s creating an album (which she is.) She will secretly record you singing too.

: ̗̀➛ Girl talks! Both of you will chat for a long time. You casually ask her how are her studies which she brags about her high grades.

: ̗̀➛ Then when the night falls, both of you will see the city lights. She’ll lay her head on your shoulder as both of you enjoy the comforting silence.

: ̗̀➛ Both of you also watch the stars! She will trace the constellations and she’ll teach you about it.

“Then, that’s Pisces right?” you asked as you traced the Pisces pattern.

Her purple eyes followed your index finger into the sky, you seemed to be pointing at nothing, but the inky blackness of the night is shimmering with endless stars. She stares up, searching for the constellation you must be tracing at and saw it.

“Where is it? I don’t see it (Y/N)”

“You saw it Shinobu.” You lightly slapped her thigh and she laughed.

Both of you continue to watch the stars with a comforting silence. As you watch the stars, you finally tell her.

“Hey, Shinobu. Thank you.”

“For what?” She looked at you but you didn’t look at her. You continued to stare at the stars.

“For being here. To be honest, I didn’t expect that you spend your time with me on my Graduation day. It was fun; memorable actually.” You looked at her “Thank you so much. Shinobu.”

She smiled at you. You noticed that her smile has hidden intentions but you decided to ignore it. “Well, I did skip class to spend time with you.”

“and I appreciated tha— wait, what?” Blood drains from your face.

“I’m just kidding (Y/N)” She grinned at you, trying to hold her laughed at your reaction.

“Oh come on Shinobu!” You glared at her. “Don’t ruin the mood!”

“It's rare to see you showing gratitude (Y/N). Normally you complain.”

“It's because it's who I am! Gosh! Shinobu I’ll never do this again, I was being–”

Your eyes widened as she kisses you, her lips press against yours a split second later. The taste of chips she bought mixed with a hint of something tangy and sweet. You don’t recognize that taste, but it reminds you of the wistfulness you feel when gazing upon the stars, shining sparkly.

You closed your eyes as you deepen the kiss. You sigh into her mouth and she into yours. Exchanging that soothing hum of sound. You finally feel the need to resurface for air and pull back.

You opened your eyes and looked at her. Your face turning into 50 shades of red.

“You’re adorable.”

“W-Why did you kiss me?”

“To shut you up. You enjoyed it don’t you?”

“…yes. But why a kiss?” The first one is barely audible but Shinobu swears that she heard it.

“Because I have a romantic feelings for you (Y/N). I love you” This time she was being serious, you didn’t see any intentions. You wanted to ruin the mood just like she ruined earlier but your conscience prevented you to do that. Instead, You placed your hand on the back of her neck and kissed her. Her eyes widened for a moment and she kissed back.

She surrenders herself to your touch and doesn’t find herself thinking for any length of time after that.

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] Reverse AU: Demon Brothers (+ Diavolo) Headcanons

- original idea came from this lovely post so please check it out if you haven’t already bc it’s so cute!! I couldn’t stop thinking about the boys collecting our character cards and desperately trying to complete events and chapters just as we are afjasldkfjasfjdts

Scenario: We’re the characters in the game and the demon brothers (or would they be human in this au??) play Obey Me! and collect our cards, play the events, etc...

Reverse AU: Demon boys collect cards of YOU instead of the other way around

Ranked from most invested to least invested in the game + headcanons on how they play (while stanning you ofc)

EDITED: there is also a related follow-up post of Reverse AU [here]

--

Leviathan

VIP VIP VIP

the man would die for every UR+ 

stans you so hard; cries whenever any new card of you comes out

a collectionist at heart, but he knows there's a fave in his otaku heart of his

every event holds a special place in his kokoro

Idk how he gets sleep grinding for all your URs considering how fast the events come and go without breaks in-between

If he had a terrible sleeping habit before, it’s WORSE now

honestly, this game right up his alley so he's an expert-- he's probably the one to rant about the game and convince his brothers to start playing too

"Add me so we can give each other AP!!"

he says, but he spends a lot of money to get all he needs so he doesn't really NEED his brothers to play with him

very happy when he gets to rant about the game with his brothers

Casually plays OSTs from the game, sometimes on blast and his brothers don’t even bat an eye because they all play the game hehehehe

cheers when he gets you as a surprise guest; uses wikis to make sure he does you right (he once made a wrong move and your dissent dialogue crushed his heart-- so never again)

never ranks below 100 during events

Mammon

baby tries really hard to save up for a good event card or UR+ but always ends up pulling desperately for your cards

relies on his luck to get what he wants, and when that doesn't work out, ends up putting money into the game

probably prays before each 10x pull and free draw

he's not rich enough to win aaaaaaaaa

fell in love with your character almost immediately and has not looked back since

you are Best Character; probably fights with Levi about who loves you more

gets pumped when he sees your cards; the other character are ehhh even though that's probably not the most strategic way to play

doesn't understand why he can't just have three of you on the dance team all at once

Screams whenever he loses a dance battle (“I’m so sorry!!!!!!’ he tells you as he quickly levels you up and throws a ton of glowsticks at you)

suffers when his brothers get the cards he wants-- though tbf he also brags about pulls he gets that his brothers didn't 

when did this game become a competition? 

Satan

f2p but he works really hard to get the cards he wants

diligently saves up and spends all his pulls on a UR+ card he absolutely MUST have

collects all the wallpapers, dialogue, and chats of every card he has of you

stares longingly at the URs and has to resist the very real urge to just buy stuff

invested in the story, the characters, the nuances, and the LORE 

thinks of theories and ideas on how the world works and the facets of each character

probably write on blogs and posts fanfic

...his bros don't know about that part tho so shhhh

The animal event really grabbed him by the DICK

If there is a card of you with cat ears and a tail-- hhhhhhhh

Spends ALL his draws during this event and invests all his time and effort into unlocking the devils flower and regrets NOTHING (o´ω｀o)

Lucifer

tries to not get invested

then gets invested deeply in both the storyline and the characters that he completes all the levels asap and grinds everyday to fill out the devil flowers

Takes break between work by opening the game

Refreshed with you on the home screen

Feels like dying when Diavolo catches him SLIPPIN’ peers over his shoulder and asks him what game he’s playing

Also feels like dying when Barbatos catches him humming the opening screen song

tries really hard not to buy anything and he succeeds for quite some time but alas came the hydrangeas 

he started off by buying some devil (human?) points… and it escalated

slippery slope-- recharge missions took him by the neck and then he gave in to being VIP (might as well, since he can afford it…)

outwardly calm about playing the game, enjoys talking with Satan about the possible lore and having something to bond with Levi

inwardly pretty invested: adores the interactions, remembers what options are best for each surprise guest dialogue 

Asmodeus

posts about all his Good pulls, especially when he gets the new UR+/UR cards 

the type to unlock all the devil flowers for the flex but also for the aesthetic 

scrolls through devilgram (uhh human...gram? so instagram) and unlocks every story asap

thinks the game is adorable whenever he gets to interact with you as a surprise guest

probably doesn't have a high preference for any particular card but absolutely LOVES the pretty ones 

love love LOVES the fan art that people draw of you

Hums to the opening screen song in the shower or even the opening video (that he voices hahah) 

gets frustrated when the levels get hard and he has to grind but so far hasnt given into buying anything

Not as invested as his brothers but he does spend money just to get a REALLY nice UR+ card like the rain event 

Water does wonders for aesthetics（=＾0＾=）

Belphegor

the game is too fast-- so many events for him to care about that he sometimes drops off the face of the earth to play it or drops the game and takes a break from it for a while

there is no in between with this dude

he can only invest in the game when he feels like it, if he feels somewhat motivated 

thinks the dance battles are funny

slightly upset when he doesn't get the cards he want from gacha but it's too bothered by it

has like at least one UR of you from an event that he didn't expect to get and that's good enough for him

the bed head cards got him feeling some type of way ////

had notifications for his AP during that period of time; has never grinded harder

Beelzebub

what can i say? the man gets lucky from free pulls all the damn time

least invested, but does enjoy reading the story and the characters; just gets kind of lazy when he gets stuck on levels 

does his best to level up enough to continue the story and unlock your gram stories but has a hard time grinding to unlock devil flowers

which is understandable considering the amount of URs he has 

i could probably see his brothers fight each other to get his account when he thinks about giving it away 

plays more often during events because he likes the extra interactions from the game with you 

Bonus:

Diavolo

Lowkey does not know how to play for a while but does log into the game just to make sure he gets his free pulls

His knowledge of the games grows EXPONENTIALLY and by the end of the first week

he’a asking Lucifer to add him, what cards he has, should he invest in this event or not

Lucifer isn’t sure if he’s happy with this development or not 

Definitely has Barbatos join in on the fun too :333

Barbatos somehow ends up being as equally invested as Levi but the only way any of them can tell is because he revealed himself to be top 10 at one event

Adores every UR card of you and asks Lucifer if he should just sign up and be VIP

Does get extremely lucky at times

“Lucifer, what’s the difference between a UR+ and a UR? Huh, why? Well, this card I got has a UR+ on it--”

Ranks probably above Asmodeus and below Lucifer in terms of how invested he is into the game

[huihuiheart]

Idol As Your S/O Series: Taehyung - NSFW

Requested: Yes, by @mycreativeworld

Series Masterlist

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Warnings: NSFW Themes below cut

SFW:

- How did they fall in love?

I feel like your words are what would have some of the biggest impacts on Taehyung. In a way he’s a very poetic individual, so I feel like words are a way into his heart. Even if they aren’t the most eloquent, really it’s about the emotion and depth that they hold that speaks to him. First it is simply as intrigue, but over time it develops into more.

- PDA Level: 7/10

So I’m going to put his PDA level at a 7, but before everyone who hates PDA and such starts freaking out...let me explain. I feel like PDA will be fairly common, but not in the stereotypical kind of way. I mean, occasionally yes you’ll get a kiss and he’ll hold your hand. However, usually it’ll be more along the lines of him secretly getting you something and handing it to you right then and there or your favorite drink from that one cafe without you asking. More of gestures of affection rather than all the skinship type stuff.

- Gift Type:

Probably can guess based on my last one, but usually more little things. Stuff that he knows is your favorite, or something he noticed caught your eyes. Though he has no issues with gifting large extravagant things, he usually puts a little more planning into that, so it’s not as frequent as the other gifts.

- They surprise you/try to surprise you how?

Likely will try to surprise you with something at your shared home. When he does he tries to go all out too, so he’ll have your friends convince you to spend the whole day out and you’ll come home to his surprise. Most likely he’s set up a romantic setting, but nothing too cliché really yet still enough to get his feelings across. Also he’ll have lots of gifts for you.  A lot of sugar daddy vibes on those nights in all honesty.

- Favorite scent on you:

I don’t know that he would mind too much as long as it didn’t overpower you, and you didn’t change all the time. He finds comfort in you and so the consistency and warm embrace of your scent is something he likes. Though, he also enjoys when you smell like him, but he won’t really admit that.

- What is your home like?

I feel like lots of neutral tones, in particular black or dark grey/tan colors. Maybe some burgundy or deep maroon colors around as well. Something that looks very sophisticated and put together. It seems modern, but not cold or unlived in.

- Day in:

I feel like Taehyung will try to make you something fluffy for breakfast in bed, and he might succeed at it some of the time (not always though). Likely, a very lazy and slow paced day spent in each other’s embrace. You might not speak so much, but just sitting or laying together while doing your separate things whatever they may be is something that makes him very content. Not that he would mind doing something with you at home though.

- Casual Day Out:

I can see him being the type to want to take you different creative things on a casual day out, like to a pottery studio to make something together, the museum, anything that can get your creativity flowing. There’s no pressure with it of course, just lots of fun and laughter. He just wants you two to express your emotions, even unspoken ones through different venues together, so he’s trying to find ways to do that.

- Night Out:

Most likely something involving dinner reservations at someplace nice, but he leaves early with you so that you two can take your time instead of rushing. The whole evening goes at your pace. Other times he might want to go to a club, but even then it might be one that’s less crowded so that you two are able to really enjoy each other.

- Vacation:

Location isn’t the biggest, but if he had to choose a tropical location probably better fits his agenda for your vacation together. Still he wants someplace somewhat secluded so the two of you can just relax together and get your privacy. That being said he wants you two to relax, so he doesn’t want you two to have to care for too much...so it can’t be too secluded.

“I wrote something else about you today, but I think I need more time with you to get it just right. I need to hear the symphony that plays when you’re around again.”

NSFW Below:

-What was the first time like?

Very sensual and romantic, but I don’t think Taehyung would speak too much during, more of showing through his actions. He’ll give occasional affirmations though, especially about things he knows you might be a little self-conscious about or such. He’s going to express his emotions to you though, especially the ones he struggles to verbalize.

-Romance Level: 7/10

He probably averages a 7/10. Though if he gets really into a dom headspace that level can go down. That being said it can also go up when he’s in the mood for passionate lovemaking. He’s pretty versatile in bed, so I’d say his romance level is too. There are things though that he can only express in the bedroom, so depending on how often you two have sex will determine likely how romantic it is from time to time.

-Favorite Position:

Cowgirl or missionary. Only because he likes to see your face, take in every detail of every expression you make. He’s more likely to switch up the position when his romance level is lower, but the higher that is...the more he’s trying to share his emotions with you in those moments the less likely he is to be okay with not seeing your face.

- Dom/Sub/Switch:

I’m going to say Dom, or maybe a switch with a VERY strong dom lean. His sub side would be very subtle and if you call it out he’ll deny it. Still when it’s been a rough couple weeks at work and he’s just exhausted even he wants to be taken care of sometimes.

- What is it usually like?

Steamy and passionate, there is nothing slow about your usual escapades. Taehyung has held himself back enough by that point, so he’s just going to lay it all out there in the bedroom. I can see it getting emotional sometimes. That being said he can be FERAL,  but since his heart bleeds for you it builds up to that.

- Gift type sexy edition:

Lingerie in darker colors most likely, or warmer colors like the burgundy, maroon, reds that might be in your home. Toys are less likely to be gifted, but when they are it’s probably more like vibrators and such.

- How do they spice things up?

Most likely by letting his feral side loose, freeing his inner sadist. Punishments, brat taming, you name it he’ll incorporate it. He does this slowly though, he doesn’t want to scare you away.

-Unexpected at first: Aka something originally surprising but now well liked/normal

Wax play, I feel like he’d not have considered it, because to him it didn’t seem like he was the one really bringing you the pain. After trying it though, he loves it. Your reactions and the way it makes you anticipate what’s to come is something he lives for.

- Don’t Expect:

To get control. Even in more passionate sessions, Taehyung is the one in charge and in control. Except in the very rare instances I mentioned before, and even then you can lose it in an instant if you don’t play your cards perfectly.

- Almost Always:

Teasing touches, he loves feeling your body in his hands. This is the only thing he really takes his time with when it gets to this point. The man practically worships you with his hands. He will put them anywhere he physically can.

“Behave and I’ll spoil you more than you thought possible, but if you don’t...well let’s just say you won’t be walking out of this room anytime soon.”

[mxtx-twitter-au]

Their Roles and some extra information in the AU

Xie Lian

Actor, Model

Born in Guangdong Province (sadly I do not know where SPECIFICALLY he should be born)

Can speak Yue dialect and Mandarin-Chinese

Doesn’t have a child, but he and Hua Cheng usually babysit Ban Yue and Gu Zi

Met Hua Cheng when he was travelling as a fellow actor

Has a neutral relationship with his mother, but not speaking with his father

Hua Cheng

Actor, Model

Born in Kunming, hence the name  花 Huā(flower) 城 Chéng (city)

-  Kunming is known as ‘the City of Eternal Spring’ for its pleasant climate and flowers that bloom all year long

Speaks Bai dialect and Mandarin-Chinese

Loyal to Xie Lian and Xie Lian only :)

Rich asf, doesn’t let Xie Lian spend his own money and wants to spoil him

No parents

HuaLian 

Married couple. Everyone in their fandom ADORE them, and they’re the most parental couple (ahem - Xie Lian) and they’re what everyone wants in a relationship. They own a cat named Ruoye and <legally> raised a fox named E-Ming. 

The fandom wants them to adopt a child but once in an interview they jokingly stated that they already a have a whole fandom of children and everyone cried.

Wen Kexing

Actor, Part-Time Chef, Full-Time Malewife

Usually plays as a side-character but there was once he got the role of the main character in a danmei drama, but only accepted when Zishu got the role of the love interest

Speaks a few dialects

Took care of Gu Xiang because she was an abandoned child and he was in a bad state of mind, so he needed her to help ground him

Collects fans, like - a lot of them

Zhou Zishu

Actor, Model, Mentor

Cat person

Learnt Japanese just to fuck with Jing Beiyuan and talk trash to ‘Prince Jin’ without him knowing

Chengling was his distant relative’s son, and he offered to take him in and adopt him

Would sometimes randomly go to places he knows there would be students to help them with homework

He actually is distantly (not really ‘distant’, but he doesn’t like to think about it) related to past royals

WenZhou

Married couple as well, but add children. They’re known as the grandparents and they’re fucking strict, but not to the point where it’s toxic. The whole family just surrounds Zhou Xu, because he has an illness which he is currently getting treatment, so he’s taking a break from acting.

Their fandom just worships the ground they walk on since they’re known as the more experienced actors in the community.

Wei Ying

Actor, Singer 

Born somewhere in QIngshan district but moved to Shekou when his parents passed

He speaks using Wuhan dialect with his family but uses Mandarin-Chinese with everyone else

He has made original songs and original music using his dizi, and occasionally he plays the guzheng (not the same as guqin)

He and Jiang Cheng joined their local tanggu team and usually play during the festivals when they were younger

Lan Zhan

Actor, Model, Singer

Born in Suzhou, lived in Hongkong for a while to honor his mother from there, and went back to Suzhou

Speaks Hokkien, Suzhounese and Mandarin-Chinese

Plays the guqin 

His father is still alive, SURPRISE! They have a pretty good relationship too!

Although he was born in Suzhou, he doesn’t favour the overly sweet taste of their food

Wangxian

They’re not married, but they sure as hell should be. They have Sizhui and a few rabbits and two tortoises. They were voted as the most shameless couple on Weibo (I wanted the whole thing to be on Weibo but sadly they didn’t have generators for that, and I’m too lazy to edit) and their whole fandom dies every time they see the couple.

They play duets to fundraise for orphanages and shelters but they don’t usually talk with the public since there were a few incidents where they were accused of being in scandals.

Shen Qingqiu

Actor, Painter

He also has a small (not really small) business where he paints fans and sells them

His English is fantastic but he purposely speaks awfully to annoy people (read: Shang Qinghua)

Amazing relationship with his siblings and neutral with his parents 

Amazing erhu playing, as well as the violin

Is usually the beta for any webnovels Qinghua writes

Luo Binghe

Actor, Model

He can’t swim well

He LOVES playing Visual Novels or game that have lore

Can speak French which baffles everyone (he wanted to learn the language of love for his shizun)

Speaking of which, he calls Shen Qingqiu ‘shizun’ because of roleplay, BUT NOT THE KIND YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT! The nickname kind of stuck 

Bingqiu

They’re engaged and everyone is just excited for the wedding. They travel a ton but don’t really converse with the public, not because of scandals but they prefer to not accidentally get accused of being in any (they loathe cancel culture).

They do hangout at orphanages though, and usually they leave donations. They’re not planning on adopting any time soon...

[jae-daddy]

Duff (4)

jaebum au series

one / two  / three / four / five /  six / seven / eight masterlist

pairing: im jaebum x reader genre: angst, smut, cheating, CEO! i guess too now plot:  you are the duff, and guys use you to get close to your bestfriend, turns out jaebum was no exception. but as time goes on the tension between you and your bestfriend’s unoffical boyfriend grows  a/n: it so late, I'm literally seeing double rn... hope y’all like it! <3 not edited. 

Life is brimming with lessons that teach you how to live without being naive and a fool. 

You were already taught a few lessons by life, as it made you jump through endless hoops burning with malicious flames waiting to scorch your skin at slightest touch. 

So you found it fair to hold yourself as intelligent and mature. 

Therefore, you trusted your conclusion to ignore whatever happened in the elevator with Im Jaebum. 

What was said, what was done; none of it mattered. 

An important lesson you’ve learnt is people say and do crazy things when they are riding high a shot of adrenaline. 

Jaebum’s near-death experience led him to say things that he would not on a normal day. It was only because he was scared that he did. And everyone wants to die an honest man. You were certain if it were Paul in the elevator instead of you, Jaebum might have confessed something outrageous to him too. 

So that was not the reason why you were staring at the two males in front of you as they spoke absolute nonsense to you. You already knew not to take what happened in that tiny metal box seriously. Instead, it was another life lesson you knew that made you stare at them as if they had grown two heads: everything has a price. 

“Not everyone gets an opportunity like this, y/n,” Paul spoke, a second away from begging on his knees. 

You shook your head in distaste, this was not part of the plan. Actually, there was no plan, but if you had one, this would definitely not be it. This was not how you imagined your lottery internship to turn out. 

“Paul, I am flattered the company believes me to be capable of such an important role,” you breathed, trying to keep a polite smile as your eyes bounced between the bald man and the smirking jerk. “However, I do not think I would be suitable for this role. I made it clear in my internship contract that I will not have my studies affected by this opportunity. Unfortunately, being the secretary of the -”

“I’m sorry to stop you, y/n,” Paul cut you off, not apologetic at all. You bit your cheeks to hold back a sneer. “We have thought about this through, and believe it to be the best plan of action to take right now. Mr Im is new to this company and is temporary, and while we have made a public announcement, he is still on trial.

“We could get someone in a fixed-term confidential contract, but that’s too complicated.”

Your brows furrowed as you disagreed with that, but you didn't say anything. 

“The remaining time left in your contract and Mr Im’s trial period match up perfectly. You already have secretarially role in the company, so you already know the ups and downs, the tricks and tips, so we really believe this is the best way. And about your studies, the summer break began last week. However, if you believe this to be in violation of your contract, we will compensate.”

“Compensate?” You rose an eyebrow, payment would be better than slaving away for free. 

“Pay you, just like any other employee,” Paul smiled happily. Finally seeing some indication of interest from your side. He added, proudly, “with all employee benefits.”

You bit your lip in deep thought. 

You mentally weighed the pros and cons. 

There were pros, so many pros; a better resume, money, free coffee and healthcare, etc. But the con, the big con stared at you in bold, italics, highlighted in large red fonts: you’d be working for Im Jaebum. 

If this was someone else you would have said yes the moment they offered it, even without the benefits. But with Im Jaebum, things got complicated. 

You weren’t sure if he could maintain the professional relationship between the two of you. And if you were being completely honest, you didn’t know if you could maintain it too. 

Even now, with Paul standing at one end of the table, and Jaebum settled on the long side. Your mind couldn’t help thinking about how short your skirt was, and how easy it would be for Jaebum to bend you over the wooden table, and make you a moaning mess. 

It would be quite difficult to maintain professionalism when you’d be spending time alone with him. Or maybe, he would use his position to make you suffer. He might end up not coming to work at all, have you do all his work, and just show up to sign and show his face. 

So much could go wrong with working for Im Jaebum. 

And you also had to consider the fact that you hadn’t talked to him since the elevator incident. 

You haven’t been to Heather’s place, too busy with the piled up assignments all due within the last two weeks. The twenty hours of weekly internship didn’t give you any freed up time either. You didn’t get an opportunity to see Heather, or her boyfriend, Im Jaebum, to have a talk. 

“Oh come on, y/n,” Jaebum smiled at you, making your blood boil instantly. This was the first thing he said to you in the past two weeks and somehow managed to be an arrogant shit-eater when he did. Your glare didn’t make his smile falter as he sang, “It’ll be fun.”

No way. You thought. There is no way you would be able to work for that self-centred, cocky, incredibly hot jerk. 

“We’ll cover your fees.” Paul stopped you before the no on the tip of your tongue tumbled out. You stared at him in shock, as he looked at you expectedly. 

“My university fees?” You asked, shocked.

“Yes, all of it.” He nodded. 

That’s a lot. 

Your eyes fell on Jaebum who smirked at you as if he had the whole entire world at his feet's disposal, and maybe he truly did. He had something similar to that power if the company was willing to go to such extents to make him stay. 

The pros were really starting to outweigh the annoying, irritating con.

“Fine,” you licked your lips, with a sigh. “I’m in.”

Paul almost jumped in his place with excitement, “Thank you, y/n! Thank you so much!”

Paul walked out swiftly muttering something about going to the HR and having a contract formed immediately. Your eyes followed him as he left, remaining on the doors that closed behind him.

You could feel his gaze burning the side of your face, and it truly felt as if you were about to combust. 

“What?” You snarked, turning towards him annoyed. 

Jaebum just snickered as he swirled side to side, carefree, on his chair, “Why are you always so mad, love?” 

You rolled your eyes getting up, “I guess this meeting is over.”

“I didn’t dismiss you, y/n,” Jaebum said, stopping his playful actions. 

“You’re not my boss until I sign that piece of paper, so,” you gave him a middle finger with a tight smile before walking out the office. 

You could hear his light laughter follow you, but you ignored it. 

You stopped in your tracks as you remembered something and entered the room once again. Jaebum looked up at you, surprised, before smiling brightly, “Welcome back.” 

You cursed yourself for returning after such an amazing exit, but there were more pressing matters than your pride. 

“Have you told Heather about what happened?” You closed the door behind you, making sure no one could hear you. 

Jaebum’s eyes danced with amusement, as he shrugged, drawling, “What happened?” 

“In the elevator, Jaebum,” you gritted through your teeth as you stepped closer towards him.

Jaebum’s smiled only grew as he frowned with feigned innocence, “I can’t seem to remember, maybe if you could help me remember.”

His lazy gaze fell to your lips before meeting your eyes again. A spark ignited deep inside you, and you told yourself it was anger; it was an annoyance. 

You clicked your jaw as you smacked your hands onto the desk, leaning over it. Jaebum watched you, carefully, not intimidated a bit, only amused. 

Your eyes narrowed at him, before you smiled sweetly, “You were holding my hand and crying like a child.” 

Jaebum hissed, unaffected, as he tsked, “I can’t seem to remember that.” 

“Did you tell her or not?” You groaned, your annoyance at peak. 

What you would do to this man if you got a chance. He wouldn’t be smiling like that, he’d be begging you for forgiveness, for release. 

Jaebum smirked as if he could read your mind, “No, I didn't.” 

“Good,” you nodded, gulping as his eyes watched you with unsettling darkness. “Don’t.” 

He rose his eyebrow, before nodding, “As you wish, y/n.” 

You turned and felt his gaze watch you as you walked out. You felt it lower, watching your hips as it swayed side to side. Your hand gripped the cool handle as your shoulders sagged slightly. 

You let out a low sigh, “Thanks.” 

You disappeared behind the door before Jaebum could reply. 

“Babe!” Heather sang as her long limbs fell over you loosely. You laughed, as you helped her sit straight. She leaned against you again, snuggling her face into your neck as she hugged you, “I love the way you smell, baby!” 

You chuckled as you patted her red matted hair soiled with glitter and sweat at the back of the Uber, “Thanks Heather, I like how you smell too.” 

“Don’t lie,” you could hear her pout, and it only made you smile. “You always make fun of my feet.” 

“But that’s only after the gym or a hike, Heather,” you told her, as you brushed the hair off her face. 

Heather was completely wasted tonight. 

She was already drunk by the time you walked into the club. Jaebum wasn’t anywhere to be found, and you found her with a group of her “friends” that you didn’t like. 

They would always make her drink too much, give her a little white sugar, and let her waste her platinum card on those low lives. 

You didn’t like the way the guys would touch her as she slumped back onto the couch unable to see straight. You didn’t like the way the girls sitting around would not help her, instead, encourage her to be worse. 

You were mad when you were pulling her away from the crowd and towards the bathroom when you had found Jaebum. He had just got to the club himself but was ready to leave as soon as he saw the state Heather was in. 

He sat on the other side of Heather, holding her purse, as Heather held you from the middle seat. 

Heather mumbled something in return and you couldn’t understand it. 

“By that red letterbox is fine,” you told the Uber driver as he slowed down. 

Jaebum got out first, and you helped Heather onto his back before getting out. You turned to the driver, giving him a small smile, “Thank you.”

“No problem, have a good night,” he said, already accepting a new ride. 

“You too,” you said, as you closed the door. You turned to Jaebum, with Heather hanging her head over his shoulder. Her long ember curls falling down his chest as he grunted and halted her up. 

“Woah, stop,” Heather moaned, heaving. 

Jaebum looked at you with terror in his eyes, and you laughed at him, “Come on, let’s get this party animal into bed.”

“Is this where you live?” Jaebum asked as you led him up the small walk to the door. 

You snorted and shook your head, “No, this is Heather’s home.” 

Jaebum rose his eyebrows, and you continued, as you unlocked the doors, 

“Her parents don’t live in this house anymore, so Heather skips between here and the apartment.” 

You turned the lights on and took in the home that greeted you. 

“They love sure love red, huh?” Jaebum commented, taking in the red couch, red feature wall, and red details spread over the living room and kitchen. 

You laughed at that, agreeing with him. The Blacks sure did take pride in their red-haired heritage, and didn’t hide the fact that it was family’s favourite colour, “Mrs Black was going through an interior design phase.”

“Thank god it was just a phase,” Jaebum snickered, making you turn to him with a pointed look as you tried to hide the smile. 

“She wasn’t too bad,” you replied and began walking towards Heather’s room. 

Jaebum followed behind you, grunting as he adjusted Heather on his back, “No, she was just too red.” 

You rolled your eyes as you opened her bedroom door and walked towards the bed. You pulled down the covers and Jaebum gently set her down. You took off her shoes, and earrings carefully. 

Jaebum didn’t say anything and just watched you as you walked around the room getting out her nightshirt, and face-cleansing products. 

“Why are you looking at me, Jaebum?” You asked, not looking at him. Instead, you pumped out the cleanser on a pad and gently took off the makeup from her face. 

“Is there a problem?” Jaebum asked back, making you snort. 

You gently turned her face and began the other side, “Yes, it’s making me nervous. I can feel you judging me.”

He was probably thinking what everyone else seemed to think when they saw you and Heather. They never saw the whole you both had for each other, how you would do anything for one another. All they saw was Heather in all her brilliance, beauty and wealth, and you, as her second, her side-kick. 

“I’m not judging you,” he replied instantly. 

Something about the way he said it made you believe him. You bit your lip, as folded the dirty make-up pads and put them on the side table.

“Then what are you doing?” You took a wet towel, wiping her face. You patted it dry and misted some toner and moisturiser. You turned back and met Jaebum’s eyes that remained on you, “Why are you looking at me?”

“There’s nothing else to look at,” he simply shrugged. 

You rolled your eyes and pointed to the wall covered with photos of Heather through the years. Most of them had you in them, celebrating every holiday, and some photos from random days when the sun was shining brightly. 

Jaebum stared at the wall as if noticing it for the first time. He got up and slowly walked up towards it. He took in the photos for a while, a small chuckle leaving him sometimes, “How did you two become friends?” 

You smiled at the memory, “She saved me.” 

You stared at your gorgeous friend, as she got up slightly. She searched around, her eyes disappearing as she smiled spotting you, “Oh, you’re here, y/n. I was going to the store on Wednesday.”

She trailed off, falling back into her pillow dozing off again. 

“Her hangover is going to kill her tomorrow,” you turned to Jaebum with a tight smile, as you held up the nightshirt, “I’m going to change her.” 

Jaebum instantly turned on his heels and walked out, closing the doors behind him. 

You walked out to the smell of coffee and Jaebum sitting at the kitchen counter with two mugs in front of him. You furrowed your eyebrows as you settled on the chair in front of him, “Is this poisoned?” 

Jaebum snorted rolling his eyes. 

You blew the coffee before sipping it. It was still searing hot, so you placed it down on the counter, and turned towards Jaebum. 

You took in his midnight hair pushed back, revealing his forehead. You didn’t know you could find someone’s forehead so sexy, but after seeing his hair down while he was at work, you had to admit it was hot. His piercings that were normally missing during office hours had returned too, a few missing. 

You frowned your eyes focusing on his nose and eyebrows, “Why aren’t you wearing all your piercings?” 

“It’s a nuisance putting it on and off,” Jaebum shrugged, before pointing to his lips, his tongue coming out to flick the sliver hoop, “Just wore my favourite.” 

You held your breath, as the image of the cool metal against your lips, flicked by your tongue, gently tugged by your teeth invaded your mind. Your cheeks heated but you continued like nothing was happening to your body. 

“Do you have piercings anywhere else?” 

Jaebum smirked, “If you’re into pierced nipples, I can get them done for you.” 

You groaned, a ridiculous smile on your face as you shook your head, “Can you ever have a conversation without being a prick?” 

“A prick?” he gasped, “that’s a bit harsh. I would say I’m more of a flirt.”

“Oh, so you know? This is a conscious decision. You wake up every day and decide to be the bane of my existence.” 

“I do wake up every morning and think of you,” Jaebum smiled at you. He chuckled, seeing you roll your eyes at him. 

“You’re ridiculous,” you snorted. Jaebum simply shrugged, smiling. 

Something beeped from the kitchen and Jaebum got up. You watched him walk over to the stove and turn it off. He reached for a mug before looking through the drawers for something. 

You narrowed your eyes watching him, “What are you looking for?” 

“Uh... a strainer?” He turned back to you, scratching the back his head. “I don’t know what it’s called.” 

Your heart melted at how adorable he looked standing there, confused and unsure. The smile on his lips was so beautiful as he watched you, waiting for you. 

“The second drawer over there,” you pointed, not looking at him as your cheeks tinted rosy again. 

Jaebum murmured thanks, before using it to drain the liquid from the pot and into the cup, “It’s a hangover tea. My mum makes it for me every time I get too drunk.” 

“You live with your mum?” You asked. Jaebum peered back at you a small smile on his lips. 

“Yeah, but I rarely ever get to see her.” 

“Why’s that?” You frowned. The way Jaebum talked about her, the lightness in his voice and the softness of his smile, told you how much he adored his mother. 

Jaebum shrugged before giving you a cheeky smile, “My house is too big.” 

You laughed at that. You were not expecting that at all. You heard Jaebum’s low chuckle as you sobered up. 

“What about you?” He asked as placed the cup onto a tray with a glass of water and two tablets he found next to the refrigerator. “Do you live alone?”

“Yup,” you nodded, before frowning, “Not even a pet.” 

“No pets?” He asked, sympathetic. 

You nodded, “I’m scared of animals. It doesn’t matter what size, or how well-trained, or what the animal is. I am terrified of them all the same.” 

Jaebum gasped as if you had confessed to a murder, “What is wrong with you?”

“Wow, I thought this was a safe place,” you mumbled before taking a sip from your coffee that had cooled down. You hummed at the taste, he made good coffee. 

“What about your parents?” Jaebum asked, making you stiffen. “Where do they live?” 

You remained quiet. 

You opened your mouth to tell him what you always told anyone who asks. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed or thought it was something to hide. You didn’t want people in your business and telling them to mind their business when they asked only piked up their interest more. 

So you opened your mouth to tell him what you’ve been telling everyone for the past five years, “I don’t live with them.”

Normally you would follow up with something about living here was better for your education or future jobs. You would say something, an excuse, that was reason enough for many young people to move out of their parents home. But what you said surprised you, “I don’t talk to them anymore.” 

“Oh,” was all Jaebum said. “That’s cool too.” 

You peered up at him with a frown. You took in his relaxed gaze, the smile on his face just like it there was a minute ago. There was no sympathy, no pity. There was no spike in interest or anything. 

He really didn’t want to pry. He didn't want to know why unless you told him. He only took as much as you could allow him. 

Suddenly there was an iridescent pond shimmering in your chest. It swirled, making your whole body feel alive as you took in Im Jaebum. It felt as if your entire body was one cell, one tiny speck of dust caught in the breeze of Im Jaebum, and it didn’t mind. 

You gulped, your body and mind acting quicker than you could control, “They couldn’t stand the sight of at me after they found out I was still doing something I promised I wouldn’t do anymore.” 

The faces of your parents appeared in front of your eyes. The shock, anger, the disappointment on their face as they found you lying in a pool of your urine and vomit. The horror in their eyes, their desperateness as they shook your body, pleading for you to reply. 

“They didn't kick me out. I left,” you ran a hand through your hair, as you let out a heavy sigh. You thought of the letter you wrote them, the way they had cried when they came to the hospital to meet you during those months, “I couldn’t hurt them anymore.”

“Do you think you would ever go meet them again?” You looked up to Jaebum watching you. You were thankful for the lack of pity in his eyes as he kept his gaze on you. 

You sighed again, and it came out as a little laugh, “One day I will.” 

You nodded, as you met his eyes. He smiled at you softly, and you smiled back as you scrunched your nose to stop the tears from threatening you, “When I am good enough, I will.” 

“I hope that day comes soon.” 

You didn’t realise Jaebum had come this close to you as you were talking. He leaned against the counter between you, his eyes intently taking you in. He folded his hands on the dark marble, his face leaning half-way over the counter. 

You watched him back. 

He was so beautiful. 

You huffed out a smile as you shook your head at him. Jaebum instantly changed, leaning back, the playfulness in his eyes glinting once again as he rose an eyebrow in question. 

“You’re not too bad, you know?” You smiled at him, before adding, “When you’re acting like a normal human being at least.” 

Jaebum laughed at that before giving you a mocking smirk, “You’re not too bad yourself, y/n.”

You grinned about to say thank you, when he added, “When you’re not acting like a stick is stuck up your ass at least.” 

“What an asshole,” you shook your head, laughing at him. 

Jaebum beamed back, his eyes shining, “What a bitch.” 

You took in the dark flecks in his eyes. You noticed their velvety blackness absorbing all light around it, but something else existed in those captivating eyes of his eyes. They didn’t get dragged away into the twilight of his gaze.  

Instead, it shone brightly. It glistened, it was golden, white and sparkled like a starry night. It dragged you in, it made you want to lean close to him. 

It made you want to place your lips on his and see how that shimmering halo swirled as he pulled you in closer. It made you want to reach for him, to place your hand on his soft cheeks. It made you want to walk around the counter and hug him in the middle of the kitchen littered with red embellishments. 

Jaebum’s smile curled into an easy smirk as he winked at you before turning around. He picked up the tray with a cup of tea, a glass of water and Panadol, as walked towards the door the red-haired beauty was sleeping in. 

Everything had a price. 

Somewhere deep within your heart was a corner buried so deeply in the darkness you had forgotten it existed. The room was cold, dark, and there was nothing. Nothing except for a lone candle standing in the middle of the emptiness. 

There had been nothing there for an eternity, and it was almost like magic. It almost felt like a trick of the eye, but then it happened again. 

A flame, a spark, flickering at the tip of the candle; it sparked again. 

This time it caught on. It burned, slowly getting brighter and livelier. 

You watched Jaebum disappear behind the door of Heather’s room. 

A sharp ache twisted your heart as you saw his broad back enter the dark room she was sleeping in. 

The flame spreading over the wick twisted in shades of ember, their shadows dancing over the room. 

You saw a word, you saw a face. 

You knew the price for this feeling tugging, craving to grow bigger in your heart. You walked into the room, hidden in a deep corner of your heart. The ivory trail of your dress dragged on the dusty floor, turning brown with every step. 

You didn’t look at the walls, you didn’t take in the shapes of the flames. 

You took sharp, clear steps. You reached the candle, the flame reflecting softly against you. You closed your eyes, took in a deep breath and exhaled, blowing out the candle. 

The flame was gone. 

The candle extinguished, the room engulfed in darkness, once again.  

You looked to the wall, the photo was no longer there but the image there was burnt into your mind. 

The price of this feeling was too expensive. 

It was too precious, and you couldn’t afford it.

[bqstqnbruin]

I hate the way you’re always right

Hey y’all, here’s the next part! Sorry it’s been a hot minute, but I hope you like this! Here’s a little bit of soft smut again ??? idk who knows.

As always, this is unedited and probably riddled with types so point em out, leave em be, I’ll probably edit this tomorrow once I’m out of class knowing me but hey, somethings never change.

Read the whole series:  I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair // I hate the way you drive my car // I hate it when you stare // I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind // I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme // I hate the way you’re always right // I hate it when you lie // I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry // I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call // But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

_________

“You don’t know what I mean.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

---------------

“On a scale of one to ten, how nervous are you?” Evelina asks, throwing herself down on your bed. The sound of the springs of your mattress makes you jump, no thanks to the nerves you didn’t want to be experiencing. 

You had been pacing your room for at least an hour, trying to figure out what to wear, how to do your hair and makeup, thinking about what was going to happen tonight. None of you should be nervous about going out with Matthew: the two of you go out together just the two of you all the time. You’re almost always with him when he’s in Calgary, give or take Evelina or Elias. So what about tonight was different?

Well, for starters, the last few times you’ve spent time alone together you were doing more than just hanging out. Why did you have to kiss him, or sleep with him, or fuck, even like him? 

“I’ll give myself a two,” you lie to her, walking to your closet to find shoes. 

She sits up, her eyebrows raised. “Babe, you’ve been walking the runway for the last hour. Gigi Hadid doesn’t strut this much but at least she gets paid for it.” 

‘Fuck her for being right,’ you think to yourself. “How’s a seven sound?” You hear her scoff, before finally sitting down next to her. “Why am I nervous?” you whine. 

She shrugs, shaking her head. “Because it’s Matthew. 

“It’s not like Matthew’s changed, though.”

“No, but you and Matthew have. You at least finally realized you like each other, and that messes with things.” 

You look down at your hands, covered with pen ink from work that day that was seemingly impossible to get off with any type of soap you had in the apartment. “What if this ruins everything?” you ask quietly, starting to feel overly emotional at the thought of losing him. 

“If you do you still have me,” she jokes, clearly not helping. “Come on. It’s Matthew. You’ve always meant the world to him. There is nothing you can do that would cause you to lose him.” 

“I hope you’re right,” you say, not looking at her. 

She pulls you up off the bed, twirling you around so she can get a full look at the dress you were in. It was one of hers, an open-backed red halter dress that came just above your knees, paired with nude heels. Simple, but elegant enough that Matthew would spend the entire night thinking about how good you look with it both on and off. “You look amazing. What time is he picking you up?”

“He should be here any minute,” you tell her, feeling yourself start to shake at how nervous you were for this. Evelina was probably right: it’s Matthew, it’s always been Matthew, and what could possibly happen that would mean you could lose him?

The two of you leave your room, grabbing your bag and your phone on your way out. You can hear the locks of the front door turning, sending a chill down your spine knowing that it was Matthew on the other side. 

“You’ll be fine,” Evelina whispers quickly as Matthew opens the door to let him in. 

Assuming you were still in your room, he starts to call, “Hey, I’m-” he cuts himself off when he lays his eyes on you. He swallows hard at the sight of you trying to find anything to say other than the “Wow,” he lets out. 

Seeing him calmed you down immediately. He had on a black button-down with black pants. It was simple, just like yours, but fuck did he look good. “Wow, yourself,” you tell him, pulling a laugh from his lips. 

He goes in to kiss you, suddenly becoming very aware that Evelina was right behind you, bouncing up and down like a child. “Ev? We’re good,” he says, hoping that it would give her the signal to leave them alone. 

“Have her home by nine, young man,” Evelina points at him, slowly backing away but refusing to break eye contact.

“Nine a.m., got it!” he says, taking you by the hand and leading you as Evelina changes course and starts to follow you.

“Wear a condom!” she yells down the hall, you and Matthew practically running away from her.

You stop in your tracks, gasping even if you were only kind of shocked that she would actually say that. “Ev!” 

“Love you!” she practically screams, slamming the door as the elevator opens.

“I can’t believe she just yelled ‘wear a condom’ down the hall! The guys next door must have loved that. Mrs. Rose is probably throwing up at the thought of premarital sex,” you start to ramble as the doors close on you and Matthew, your hands on your cheeks pulling your eyes open a little more.

He laughs, pulling you close to him, his warm hands against your back, you draping your arms on his shoulders.  “You can’t be that shocked she would say that.” He dips his head down to kiss you, finally saying hello the way he wanted to, his forehead pressed against yours as a lazy smile covers his face, “Hi, Mercury.” 

“Hi,” you whisper, wishing you had something like that to call him. Something that meant he drove you as crazy as you apparently drove him. “And no, I’m not shocked. But I guarantee that you’re going to have to wear one tonight,” you tease him.

“If that’s what you want,” he whispers, planting a kiss on the top of your head. 

Of course, that was what you wanted. He pulls away when the elevator door opens, leading you to his car. He doesn’t drop your hand until he opens the passenger side door for you. “What a gentleman,” you gush at him, half teasing him, half swooning over the simple action.

“Only for you,” he says, connecting with your lips as you try to sit down. Apparently, he couldn’t stop kissing you either. Not that you were complaining about it. You drive through the city in silence, his hand on your thigh while he drove, your hand placed over his. You stole glances at him every once in a while, the moonlight and streetlights dancing off his jawline, his eyes shining whenever light hit them. God, he looked so good. You didn’t see the glances he took at you, your enjoyment as you watched the city alive around you, watching people walk hand in hand down the street, laughing, smiling, enjoying life. 

You get to the restaurant, him rushing over to help you out of the car before you even have the chance to try to get out yourself. This was so different from the Matthew you knew a few weeks ago. 

The two of you are seated at a table in the corner, able to look at everyone around you. You sit in silence, but it’s not weird like you thought it would be. You look up from your menu to see Matthew staring at you smiling. “What?” you ask him as he reaches across the table for your hand. Why didn’t this feel weird? What about this made it feel so, you don’t know, so right?

“I’m just,” he starts, debating on whether or not he should say what he wants, “I’m just happy,” he settles on, not taking his eyes off you as a smile shows on your face, heat rushing to your cheeks. 

“Who woulda thought you’d be soft for a girl, Rat Man?” you tease him.

He runs his tongue across his upper lip, sucking in a deep breath before letting out, “Only for you, Y/N.” 

The two of you settle into mundane conversation after the waitress comes and takes your drink orders, the same sexual teasing ones that you would have with him before this whole thing started. 

“Oh, come on, you’ve always found me hot. Don’t act like you never thought about what it would be like if I pinned you against the wall every time you saw me,” he teases you.

“I think you were at your most attractive when you were far away from me.” 

“So, even when I wasn’t around you still couldn’t get me out of your mind.” 

You roll your eyes, hating that he was right. You thought about this boy a lot more than you would like to admit. “I can only think about how much I hate about you,” you say without thinking, biting the inside of your cheek.

You swear he swallows hard, taking a moment to compose himself. He hated the thought of you still writing out that list. He needed to ask Evelina how far into you were given that you had two more weeks to finish it. But he was already taking you out on a date, so is the list even worth it? Before he can send himself into a downward spiral, he says, “And yet, you’re still sitting across from me on a date.” 

He watches you look down at the table, trying to hide the smile you couldn’t help but flash. “You got me there.” 

The waitress returns with your food, both of you falling silent as you ate. Matthew couldn’t help but study your every movement, from how delicately your hands wrapped around your utensils. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the ink covering you, on your pinky from the way you drag your hand across the page, the random dots and streaks of ink on your nails and everywhere, probably from the way you twirled it in your fingers, knowing that you drop your pen more often than you’re able to keep in your hands the way you fidget with it. He was amazed by how he could watch you for this long without you even realizing it, so wrapped up in the scene around you while you watched with amazement. He couldn’t believe that this was finally happening, that he was there with you. 

The people around you were laughing, talking, enjoying the company of the person across from them. It felt so weird to be one of those people who could do that. You never thought you would find yourself in a situation where the person across from you would be Matthew. “Oh, I know what I wanted to tell you!” you say, breaking the silence between you, “Ev and I are going to be in LA the weekend you’re playing the Kings for a conference.” 

“So you being out with me is just a ploy to get free tickets?” he smirks. He was going to get you the tickets, even if you didn’t want them. 

“I mean, what else are you good for?” you ask as he takes your hand in his, putting it to his lips. 

You go back to eating, both of you with one hand available. You try not to go crazy when he rubs his thumb along your knuckles, tracing a circle around each one before moving to the next, back and forth across your hand. You’re interrupted in your fixation on his touch by a woman screaming with joy, the man across from her down on one knee proposing. You can’t help but smile at the happiness she was radiating, Matthew watching you instead, not realizing you were picturing yourself being proposed to at that moment. You couldn’t make out the face of the man on one knee in front of you in your mind, but something about the wild hair gave you a good idea of who it was.

Why the hell were you even thinking about that? You didn’t even think you loved this boy, let alone picturing marrying him?  

The two of you start clapping along with everyone else when she says yes, a forced smile covering your face as you try to calm yourself from the internal freakout that was manifesting. You look across the table to Matthew, his eyes wider than normal, his lips in a thin line. 

Before you can ask him what’s wrong, Matthew cuts in, “I can’t believe he just did that.” 

“What?” you ask him, slightly shocked. 

“Uh, I mean,” he starts, not sure where he was going. He could feel his face getting hot. That’s not how he would have proposed to you. ‘Wait a minute,’ he thinks to himself, ‘proposing to Y/N?’ When did he even start thinking about something like that? He could feel his breath get shorter, trying to figure out what to say. You see him getting restless, reaching over to take his hand in yours, whatever panic that was forming in him instantly going away. “It’s just weird to do it in a restaurant, you know? Surrounded by a bunch of strangers instead of the people you love.” 

You don’t know why, but your entire body tensed up at that word. Matthew keeps talking, but you don’t hear him. You look over to the couple, smiling over their news. She was crying, unable to stop herself from admiring the ring and the man she just committed her entire life to. You weren’t sure how long you had been staring, only snapping out of the trance you fixed yourself in when you felt Matthew pulling you up from the table. 

“Are you alright?” he asks you, leading you back to his car. Something in his voice had changed, the soft, sweet tone from earlier not entirely gone, but some of it was missing. 

“Yeah,” you lie to him, “I think the food is just starting to bother my stomach.”  

“Oh, uh,” he says, dropping your hand once you get to the car, his hand lingering on the handle of the passenger side door. “I guess I’ll drop you back at your place then?” he asks, running his free hand through his hair. 

You recoiled slightly at his words, not wanting to go home, but there you were. “Yeah, sure,” you say, ducking into the seat. 

The two of you ride in silence, this time uncomfortable in complete contrast to driving there. He pulls up to your building, neither of you moving from your seats. What the hell happened? Did the idea of marrying him freak you out so much that you ruined your date with him? “So, uh,” he starts, “I’ll see ya?” he asks.

You don’t pull your gaze away from your hands in your lap, biting the inside of your cheek as you nod. This was supposed to be a great night for you two. Why did that guy have to propose? It was really all his fault when you think about it. You feel Matthew’s hand grazing your jaw, his thumb tracing your cheekbone before pulling you close to him for his lips to connect with yours. You pull away, your foreheads pressed against each other, an awkward smile covering both your faces. Without another word, you get out of his car to go up to your place. 

He watches you walk away, letting out a groan. “Fucking hell,” he mutters to himself, pulling away once you get in the door.

-----------

“So it was bad?” Evelina asks, lying down on your bed next to you. You finally opened up to her about the disastrous date last night, from your freak out to ending with Matthew dropping you off at home instead of spending the night together. 

You let out a heavy sigh, your phone vibrating with texts from your boss about preparing for the conference. “Fuck, is he bothering you this much about this presentation?” you change the subject quickly. 

“Nope. Not a word from him since he said we were going. That’s not important right now.”

You let out another groan, not sure really what other noise to make. Words couldn’t describe how frustrated you were by the night you thought was going to be great. “It wasn’t,” you cut yourself off, tossing your phone aside and covering your face with your hands. “It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t what I wanted it to be.” 

She turns over on her side, propping herself up on her elbow to look at you. “And you haven’t heard from him since last night?” Through your fingers you can see the expression she has on her face, scrunched up almost as if she was pitying you. 

Your phone buzzes, both of you lurching to see if it were him. Instead, it was your boss again. “Fuck this,” you say, throwing the phone on the floor. “I want it to be Matthew. It’s not like him not to text me all day.” 

“He left this morning for Winnipeg where they went right to practice and then to their game,” she tells you, relaying the message Elias probably gave her at some point. It still didn’t make you feel better. The game was over by now and you didn’t even know how it went. You thought he would have at least texted you, sent you a picture without context, something so you would know he didn’t hate you after last night. 

“He’ll text you. They’re probably still getting changed from the game,” Evelina tries to reassure you. “Do you want me to stay here or do you want to be alone?” 

You think about it, not sure how much good her company would do at this point. “I’m fine alone,” you decide, pulling out your laptop to find something to watch. She leaves you alone, your phone buzzing constantly with texts. After an episode of Gossip Girl, you finally check your phone to see a string of texts, all but one from your boss.

You let out a sigh of relief when you see Matthew’s message buried amongst those from your boss.

‘I’ve missed you, pretty girl. What are you up to?’

You could your heart racing for whatever reason as you tried to figure out what to respond with, your boss's name coming up again and again wondering why you weren’t answering him. ‘Moping, why?’

‘What’s wrong Mercury’

‘Work is a bitch’

You see the three dots appear and disappear from your screen. You stare at your phone, wondering why he wasn’t answering you when an incoming Facetime call shows up from him. Answering faster than you should, you felt relieved to finally see his face even if you had seen him the night before. “What happened to your cheek?” you ask immediately, referencing the noticeable gash that covered the right side of his face.

“I got the butt end of Johnny’s high stick at practice today,” he says, moving through what you assumed was his hotel.

“He probably did it on purpose, right?” you ask, a smirk on your face. You can hear his laugh echo through the hallway, the click of his door unlocking as he threw himself on his bed. “What were you doing?” 

“The guys and I were down at the bar in the lobby.”

“Oh, did you guys win today?”

He stares at you for a second, a brief moment in which you can’t read him. “You only pay attention to me when it’s convenient for you, don’t you?” he teases you, a smile growing on his face with every word. 

You let out a laugh, the memory of last night fading away. “My boss has been texting me nonstop about the work I’ve already gotten done, so I’m trying not to look at my phone.” You shift your attention away from your camera, knowing, not looking at Matthew for what you were about to say. “You know I always pay attention to you, Matthew,” you let out quietly, looking off to the side. 

He smiles at your words, letting out a sigh of relief. This list had to be over. There was no way you could still be writing it. “We did win. Shut them out. We were downstairs celebrating before we hit the road in the morning.” 

“Why aren’t you still with them! Go be with the guys!” you insist.

Matthew scoffs, shaking his head. “Nah, something was wrong with you. I had to make sure you were alright.”

“You left the guys for me?”

“I would leave anyone if it means making sure you’re ok.” You melt at his words, never thinking that he would be able to say something that would make you feel how you did. You missed him. You wished he was there with you. Before you can say anything, he starts, “I know how I can make you happy: tell me something. That always works.”

That always makes him happy.

“How about Dante’s circles of Hell so we can figure out which one my boss belongs in?” you joke, pausing the call briefly to finally respond to your boss to say that everything he had already texted you about asking you to do was finished and in his email. 

“I know about them but I like hearing you talk,” he says, a smile on his face. His end goes completely silent, no background noise, nothing, as if he had muted you. 

You try to recall the nine circles, starting to ramble in hopes it would jog your memory. “Dante Alighieri wrote the Italian poem between the years 1308 and 1320, the year before his death. It’s considered the first work written in the Italian vernacular, the Tuscan dialect, thus leading scholars to believe that this work is the reason why ‘formal Italian’ is Tuscan. He wrote it three parts, 100 cantos total, each canto with 33 lines: Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradiso.”

You finally hear him again, his chest moving up and down rapidly, the camera shaking in his hand. “It’s so sexy when you speak in another language. Tell me about Hell,” he lets out, clearly out of breath from what you couldn’t see going on beyond the camera. 

You start, your mind suddenly flashing back to that day at the package store, roaming through the aisles of alcohol with his hands leaving a burning touch on your body. “The first circle is Limbo. It’s where the unbaptized and virtuous pagans go. It’s like having a tv and only getting a channel like C-SPAN on every station,” you tell him, waiting for his response. His mouth is open slightly, no sound coming from him. You close your eyes, thinking of his hand in your back pocket that day, the way his fingers tensed on your ass. 

You swallow hard, your breath getting slightly shallow as you continue. “The second circle is,” you stop, knowing that you would be right in this circle as you extended your free hand down. You knew exactly what he was doing the same thing, his eyes closing every now and then, the camera shaking as you thought about his body against yours the night after the charity event. “Is lust. Anyone controlled by their hormones.”

His eyes snap open, his voice shaking as you finally hear him again: “I guess we’ll go to the second circle together?” You bite your lip, nodding at him. “Third circle,” he demands, going back to his work as he thought you in the black dress, fitting your form perfectly, every thread, every stitch, waiting to be ripped off you.

“Gluttony: habitual greed or excessive eating, especially at the expense of others,” you tell him. You think about that dry-fit shirt he wore, every muscle he had accented in the fabric as your other hand moved faster. His camera was shaking, his chest moving up and down rapidly. Part of you was surprised he hadn’t gotten there yet. “Circle four is greed: hoarding money, and goods.”

  “Five,” he chokes out, a moan following that he cut off by muting himself. 

“Five was,” you say, gasping, “Five was anger, spending their time in hell waging war against each other.” Your eyes screw shut, hoping you could get through four more. “Unmute yourself,” you demand of Matthew.

His eyes practically pop out of his head. “Unmute yourself,” you tell him again, slowly, each syllable emphasized as he watched your eyes get ever so slightly darker. He nods, doing as you ask, now able to hear his heavy breathing. “Six was heresy,” you let out, low and slow.

Matthew gasps, getting up a little as a signal that he was finished, despite you having more circles to go through. “Don’t move yet,” you say to him, not wanting him to until you could. “Those in that circle believe in religions other than Dante’s: Christianity. Seven is violence, divided further into three levels: murderers, suicide victims, and blasphemers.” You can practically feel the memory of his lips as they would have been connecting with your body, right behind your ear. 

“Tell me circle eight, pretty girl,” Matthew whispers, a lazy smile on his face as you get close to your climax. The sight of him your first night together, every inch of him as he entered you for that perfect night.

“Eight is,” you try to get out. You stop, feeling nothing and everything going through your body as you practically scream out, “Fraud.” You look at him, trying to steady your breath even though he could see your chest rising and falling as rapidly as his was before, a smile covering his face. “Nine is treachery. A frozen wasteland where those doomed to that final circle spend eternity with Satan himself. 

You both sit there in silence, catching your breath. You see Matthew finally able to adjust himself, a small laugh escaping his lips at the mess that was over the once pristine sheets. He smirks, happy that you could hear each other for the last bit, neither of you guessing you were thinking of the other the entire time.  “I told you I could make you happy, huh?” 

You take in a deep breath, trying to stabilize yourself, getting up to change quickly. “I would be happier if I didn’t have to do it myself,” you tease him. 

“Trust me: I would do anything to be there with you right now.” 

You smile at him, letting out a yawn. “I’m gonna go to bed, babe,” you say, slightly recoiling at the idea of calling him babe. “Talk to you tomorrow?” 

He nods. “I-” you start to hear him say, accidentally cutting him off by hanging up just too soon. He couldn’t have been saying much, but you send him a text saying sorry for it. “Love you,” he breathes out, wishing you heard him finally say how he felt about you.