#I didn't even know tumblr had limits

[the-blackholeus]

I saw the Bebop X Mutant Reader X Rocksteady and it was AMAZING!! I might have a request for them and this one is a that the reader is a giant sea monster or well mutant and how they met the reader?

( The reader can be a shark that has a tail and fins with hair or a axolotl that has tail and the little antlers around the head with hair or just go for a avatar look like the movie avatar big blue people but instead of black hair it can be blonde or brown, mostly blonde)

Like shredder and his team ( with the boys of course lol ) were going on a mission to make a deal with the reader? Because the reader rules over the ocean in their fantasy land?

This could be a headcanon relationship romantic with bebop x reader x rocksteady

IM SO SORRY THIS IS A LOT ! BTW THIS CAN BE FOR A GENERAL READER OR A FEMALE READER! Love your story’s!!!

Part 1 because this shit doesn't fit in one post.

Shredder heard about you after you sunk an entire ship full of his soldiers and various materials and machines needed for missions in the future.

Understandably, he was beyond pissed at first. But as soon as he heard that there was a mutant behind this, he became intrigued. And once his rage somewhat subsided, he began to do what he could do best. Plan and scheme.

He took an entire team of elite soldiers, Bebop and Rocksteady, left Karai behind to babysit the rest of his clan and set out to find you.

Luckily, it didn't take long. You, being quite territorial of your realm, immediately noticed the intruders in your realm and hindered them by traveling by causing a hurricane, which almost sunk their ship.

The mere fact that they stayed afloat, however, both shocked and angered you, and you decided to deal with them personally, grabbing your trident and swimming towards the massive machine rocking on the ocean's wavy surface.

You emerged soon after, your ginormous form towering over all of them. Your upper body, which was human, glistened with moisture as you straightened your back, your fork-like weapon glistening in your clawed hands as you brought your sharp gaze upon them, your glowing e/c eyes narrowing furiously at their tiny forms.

Shredder was shocked and alarmed, instinctively reaching for his weapons. Bebop and Rocksteady, however, were panicking and screaming. Almost pissing their pants, they immediately tried to run who knows where, their peanut brains thinking that jumping off the boat and into the water would be an excellent escape plan. Of course, it wasn't. With your tentacles, which were attached to the beginning your s/c-scaled shark fin/your hips, easily snatched them and lifted them into the air.

They positively shat themselves at that point.

As your thundering voice asks who dares to enter your domain, both of the mutants panic and point towards Shredder, with Bebop crying out that he is the boss and that it was his idea to come here.

You turned your head towards him and were ready to slaughter them all then and there, but somehow, Shredder managed to talk to you and made you an offer. An offer to provide all protection and material you need if you would work with him. (He made sure that he said with and not for him.)

That actually made you stop in your tracks and consider his words. You had to admit, you did need help. You could not deny the dire state your watery territory was in, and not even you could protect it the way you would like to with all the damage humanity has and was inflicting. As much as you hated to admi it, you could use some hands from above the surface. After only a very short time of thinking, you agreed.

To get on your good side, Shredder immediately organized to build a massive structure in the middle of the ocean which would serve as the headquarters of the mission "Saving the Ocean", where the clan could make direct contact with you.

Bebop and Rocksteady were stationed there immediately and Shredder stayed as well to ensure that they would now screw this entire plan over, keeping a close eye on them as they roamed through the massive fortress.

The two mutants were scared shitless at first. They did not dare to take a step outside their personal quarters or the more isolated rooms when you were above the surface, not wanting to come face to face with you. They were ready to face heavily muscled turtles that were trained in the impressive art of ninjitsu and did not have a problem doing the most vile work, but a massive shark-octopus-human god-like hybrid? FUCK NO. They were drawing a thick line there.

You were amused by this. You came to enjoy to emerge from the sea just when they thought that they were save, watching them scramble towards the door as soon as they notice your massive physic rise from the dark waters. Whenever you heard the piggy squeals and rhino cries, you could not help but chuckle, showing off your razor-sharp teeth as you watched them disappear into a space they deemed safe.

This continued for months, until eventually, Shredder grew pissed with his boys for being such cowards. To punish them and to force them to overcome their fear, he sent them on a mission to retrieve some of the sunken material that you had sent to the bottom of the ocean.

However, knowing they could die down there die since their brain barely seemed to function beyond the necessities, he asked if you if you would volunteer yourself to lead them through your realm. At first, you were going to say no, but on second thought, having these two bumbling idiots around you always improved your mood. It would be quite regrettable if your personal toys were not there anymore, so you promptly agreed.

You could not stop laughing at their ridicules appearance as they were forced into customized diving suits. God, they looked so adorable. Especially Bebop, whose ass stood out due to the fat that is wrapped around his body. (You swore you could see Shredder laugh too)

Once the soldiers literarily threw them into the water, they almost drowned by having a panic attack because oh my god you were swimming right underneath them and your teeth alone were larger than them and they are going to die and blah, blah , blah...

It took a lot of yelling and lecturing from you to calm them the fuck down to at least some extent.

Once you managed to do that (which took forever, you demanded to have them change their oxygen bottles after), you led them towards the shipwreck that you have left behind.

You honestly expected nothing to happen on your way there, believing that these two buffoons were not intelligent or caring enough to notice and admire the ocean's beauty. However, as you passed the coral reef that stood between you and the mess you left behind, they quite literally froze and began to stare.

When you noticed that they were no longer following you, you turned your head and got ready to yell at them for it. But once you saw their big, glowing, curious puppy eyes, you were astonished. You swam back to them and watched as they slowly began to explore the reef, apparently having forgotten about their mission completely.

Eventually, they started to ask questions like "What is that fish called?", "Is this poisonous?" and "That exists?!". And you found yourself to be super happy to answer them, going into details with certain explanations.

After a while, the reason you were down here slipped from your mind as well, and you spend as much time with them under the surface of the ocean as you the oxygen bottles allowed Bebop and Rocksteady to. In the span of a few hours, you taught them as much as you could.

Shredder wasn't too pleased when you all returned empty handed at first, but after seeing that they were now actively speaking to you and not almost killing themselves by trying to get away from you, he decides to let this one slide and is pleased with the outcome of his "exposure therapy". He still gave them a punishment though!

After this, they were starting to dive on their own, regularly visiting you in your home, which was a massive cave in the deeper part of he ocean, to learn more. While it was strange that you had so much..."intelligent" company out of a sudden, you didn't complain. You hadn't realize how much you missed talking to people until you had these two idiots around you.

This went on for a few weeks, and they unironically learned so much from you. Over time, they became something akin to experts on what is going on beyond the watery surface. Whenever you were swimming with them, full-blown conversations evolve from spotting any kind of interesting creature or coral. Of course, they were still massive idiots in any other category.

[booasaur]

Pinned post - F/F Fic Recs

  Anonymous asked:

Hi, I've see you saying that you're reading a lot of fic lately and I was wondering if you could rec some? I so trust your taste and I think we have so many fandons in common...

Hiya! So first, what I was reading over the summer were some new fandoms that I'm still mulling over. Those ships and fics, I'm not ready to recommend anything for, I'll come back to them later.

As you know, I find it hard to pick out faves and recommend things but coincidentally, some time back, when I hadn't read fics for years, I decided to see which I could easily remember. It’s not close to being an exhaustive list, I just noted down whatever came to me over a few hours, and almost all are pretty old, often from my first go-around in each fandom, but it’s a fair number. I've read other great ones that might not be as easily remembered for any number of reasons, like if I was in a particular frame of mind or if I read too many good ones at once so none really stood out, if I read them in between other things going on in life, etc. These ones slotted into the ole memory bank but that doesn't say anything about those left off.

I'm not sure how many of these are fandoms you're into, but when I'm in a real fic-reading mood I'll often try fandoms I don't know, so hopefully you can still give some of them a shot. I tried to organize by fandom though they're mostly in the order I remembered them, so it's not alphabetical or fave first--though it did end up being pretty chronologically backwards. I was literally going back through the years and I don't think I've read some of the anime ones in like, more than a decade? And while for my own list, I often was like oh, all of that author's fics for this ship and would know what I meant, here I tried to narrow it down to one fic per author, since it can be hard to know where to start, but definitely give their other fics a try if you liked that one.

Added a cut for length. All stories are f/f and complete unless specified. As I go through some of these, let me come back here to add that it’s worth keeping in mind as you read these that they are products of their time, some more than a decade ago. 

Gilmore Girls - Paris/Rory

The Best Of It - by dollsome - 74k words » Canon, fake dating, set after the original series (so ignoring A Year in the Life). To win a point on a talk show, Paris announces she's dating Rory. It's incredibly in voice and matches the show vibe so it's just so funny and sweet and just a plain delight. It's what actually made me create this list, I was idly wondering what else I'd read that brought me this much joy.  

Boston Marriage - by Jae - 5k words » Canon, college years, Paris has a proposal. The first fic for this ship I read, I think? Where I was like, oh, so it’s possible to be that in voice and replicate everything about a show even as distinct as this one. One of the ship’s classics (and being from 2005, just a f/f classic overall?).    

The Unbearable Weirdness of Being - by klynkey - 3k words » Canon, assumed high school years, Rory and Paris get into a debate. After having read the one above, I found this soon after and was like, okay, is everyone able to easily replicate that Gilmore Girls patter? (No.) Another ship classic.

Agents of Shield - Bobbi/Jemma

To Keep My Wolves From Your Door - by pirateygoodness - 41k words » Werewolf AU, so elaborate and for a ship so relatively rare, I’m not sure how this exists but I’m glad it does. It’s got some plot, a sweet romance, smut with feelings, just a rewarding read every time I go back to it, which is pretty often. Given my main audience, I’ll mention there are some flashbacks to Bobbi and her ex husband but that didn’t affect my enjoyment at all.  

Soulmate AUs (just chapter 2) - by alittleunstable - 3k words » Canon, cute little soulmate AU, which I’m always a sucker for. 

Star Trek Voyager - Janeway/Seven of Nine

Where the Dream Takes You - by nejvit - 27k words » Canon, one of the tamer getting together Trek setups, more introspective rather than caused by some alien tomfoolery, but I really like how it handles the very commonly featured J/7 conflict of Janeway dating someone in her crew. It is a bit dense but I found the character and dynamic exploration so insightful and interesting. When I first read J/7 fics years ago (in the late ‘00s), this author’s fics didn’t particularly stand out but when I came back to the fandom more recently, they were among my very favorite.  

The Rod and the Staff - by Trek in Tandem - 13k words » Canon, deals with the aftermath of an existing ep where Janeway went on a mission and ran into trouble. The religious stuff comes across as more the writer playing with the episode’s actual religious references than anything heavy-handed so I found it easily ignorable. Really great, clean prose, one of the writers who always stuck out to me for that.    

Not Just Strip Poker - by Pink Rabbit Productions - 15k words » Canon, a funny, lighter piece that definitely starts out as full comedy, after a misunderstanding, but there’s some deceptively interesting discussion later on in this one too.

Stargate SG-1 - Janet/Sam

Bits and Pieces series - by Pink Rabbit Productions - 278k words, WIP » Canon, this series integrates Sam/Janet into the first season of the show and I don't think it was ever finished, and the last one especially was left on a cliffhanger, but the rest of the “episodes” are worth the read. Also, when I put this down for my own list, I just said "Pink Rabbit's Sam/Janet stuff", because I remember going through all of them at some point, the stuff outside this series was fun too, and if this full incomplete series is too daunting, definitely some of the one-shots might be more fun.

The Devil Wears Prada - Andy/Miranda

Truth and Measure - by Telanu - 272k words » Canon, diverges from the end of the movie as Andy decides to stay with Miranda. What even is there to say about this one? A true f/f classic, has been in the top three of my general f/f recs for more than a decade and still holds up. Just a perfect continuation of the movie, same world, same characters, continuing growth and development of characters and dynamics, a true believable slow burn romance. And the author’s published it without taking down the fic. :)

Facts of Life - Jo/Blair

Ribbon - by Della Street - 15k words » Canon, diverging in the college years. This is the first of her fics I read for this pair and I fell in love with her writing. Back in an era when a lot of authors started off with lots of exposition and setting up the scenario, I was so impressed by how quickly and easily she did her worldbuilding and character development, and how in-voice and and close to the show everyone was. Definitely recommend going through the rest of her Jo/Blair fics.

Birds of Prey (2002) - Barbara/Helena

And Another Thing - by fembuck - 12k words » Canon, a straightforward getting together fic, things come to a head after Helena starts pulling away. After seeing which of the fics I remember best and like most here, I think I really just favor a great execution of a simple premise. And because this is fembuck, whose fic was a load bearing pillar of f/f fandom, there’s a nice balance of humor and angst with the romance.    

An Empirical Question - by harper_m - 30k words » Canon, an accidental fake dating situation spins out into something much more. In a funny coincidence, the same things I said about fembuck apply to harper_m, such a significant contributor to f/f fic over the years (see also this older archive account). This fic is again mostly a well done exploration of the characters and their dynamic if suddenly an explicitly romantic layer was added to canon.

Skins - Effy/Katie

An Imperfection in an Otherwise Perfect Plan - by harper_m - 21k words » WW1 AU, they’re nurses in the army. As with the Mockingnerd werewolf AU above, I’m surprised that for such a rare ship, there’s such a specific (and good) AU, but definitely not complaining. It feels that much nicer to find a true gem in such a tiny collection.    

fate is overgrown - by thememoriesfire - 53k words » Post-series, years later, Katie’s in a rut and stumbles into Effy again. I do find it funny that I have no Glee rec from TMF and instead went for the Skins fic that isn’t even transatlanticism but I really love this one, to the point where there were a couple of months where I just reread it constantly, even downloading my own version to fix formatting and typos. It’s almost slice of life, as Katie and Effy find themselves surprisingly healing together, after their fraught history. 

The Sarah Connor Chronicles - Sarah/Cameron

Resistance - by Anklebones - 120k words, WIP » Canon, diverges from season 2 as Cameron continues to glitch. Like a lot of the good Sarah/Cameron fics, this is a great dissection of AI and sentience and what it means to be human and have free will. I mean, within a great story, not just characters debating. It’s not finished but I really like what’s been written so far.   The author also has a three-part complete fic where Sarah and Cameron are already in a messy thing and then have to confront some things when there’s an attack at school: Just Another day in Paradise… 1 2 3 (19k words).    

No Rest for the Wicked - by InspectorBoxer - 172k words, WIP » Firefly AU, River Tam takes the place of Cameron while Sarah’s a new character to the universe. This is such a fun blend of the two universes and the romance is such a good slow build. As with most of the WIPs I’m linking, there’s enough to really enjoy even if not complete yet.

Once Upon a Time - Emma/Regina

The Secret's in the Telling - by pyrophoric - 250k words » Canon, set pretty early on but where Emma and Regina are at least nominally getting along. Things are set into motion when a mysterious thief shows up and keeps bullying Emma. This is one of my favorite iterations of their dynamic, with long-suffering secretly fond Regina and hapless too-earnest Emma.    

You do not have to walk on your knees - by dollsome - 10k words » Canon, mid-season 2, Regina and Emma learning to get along. As is dollsome’s specialty, a lot of character work and humor. Also would recommend Teenage ... Dream? (12k words), where Regina gets like...kind of emotionally aged down? You’ll see. The premise sounds cracky but again, the character exploration and humor and sweetness. :)

Once Upon a Time - Aurora/Mulan

a story, a tale - by maleficently - 27k words » AU where it’s Maleficent who casts the original curse on Aurora and her true love, not Regina on Snow and Charming. This is so fun because you can see all the similarities and differences in how the story unfolds compared to the show, including flashbacks to the fairy tale world before the curse is cast.    

Object Permanence - by badlance - 18k words » Canon, after Aurora and Phillip have made it to Storybrooke. Aurora’s still furious at Mulan for leaving them to go off with Robin Hood, but suddenly something happens to Mulan and Aurora can’t stop thinking about her. It starts off an interesting look at Aurora and how someone acclimatizes to the real world after Fairy Tale Land so like, therapy, jobs, but it’s quite romantic and sweet in the end.   Also Could Have Been A Year (5k words) and its sequel Bear It Out Even to the Edge (17k words), where Mulan learns the price of staying away from Aurora and gives up everything to make sure Aurora’s okay.

Wicked - Elphie/Glinda

Gelphie Trilogy: 1. Easier Said Than Done 2. Inevitabilities & Eventualities 3. Possibilities and Certainties - by mecelphie - 3.8m words » Rape trigger warning for the very first chapter: Elphie suffers a violent attack and much of the first story is her healing from that, though the other two stories also occasionally bring up the lingering effects on Elphie.     Back when I read it, the first story had some typos, missing punctuation and the like, that might also make it hard for some to get into it, but the world really unfolds into something incredibly rich and rewarding. Note that full series word count, it IS that detailed and extensive a story, almost slice of life, except for the precipitating event and things like homophobia and when Elphie's background is tackled. I haven't actually finished it yet, I pause every once in a while till I have a large chunk of chapters and then reread from the start and get sucked in anew each time.    

The Thrill, Basis Determined - by Ridiculous Mavis - 24k words » Bookverse, just delightful, beautifully written fluff. Everything this writer writes is beautiful. The further down I go on this list the less restraint I feel in linking multiple stories by the same author, so of her other Gelphie fics, I'll also specifically rec The Way Out of Myself (22k words), bookverse bodyswap with Avaric and Elphie where they both learn something about the other and Invitations Under False Pretences (27k words, WIP), bookverse fake dating, it's not marked as complete but it doesn't leave you hanging, if you know what I mean.    

The Week of Ill Repute - by Chudley Cannon - 37k words, WIP » Bookverse again, which, I don't prefer them over musicalverse, it's just worked out that I've remembered (liked?) these fics best. This one I remember from my very first Gelphie fic-reading tour and thinking, wow, this is so good. It never updated after that and I believe it actually does leave you hanging, but I mean, you specifically remember a fic more than 10 years later, it's gotta be on the list, right?

The Bletchley Circle - Millie/Susan

In the Blackout - by RidiculousMavis - 11k words » Canon, set during the Bletchley years, Susan’s just arrived and meets Millie, her flighty and irreverent roommate. A wonderful look at how they start to get along after their personalities and keen minds first clash.    

Clerical Work - by Kivrin - 3k words » Canon, also set during Bletchley, Susan tries to figure out her feelings the way she would a code and then things fall into place in a surprising way. Relatively short but I loved the sharp little characterizations of the main four, including Jean.

Legend of the Seeker - Cara/Kahlan

All the Days - by tcbg77 - 67k words » Post-series, some years after, everything seems to be going well until Richard and Kahlan’s child is kidnapped. Cara, now Richard’s general, sets off with Kahlan to rescue the child. I love the pacing of this one, the length allowing for a full quest and a slow burn, and combined with the well-written action makes it seem like a fantasy story with romance on its own. I basically treat it as exactly that and reread every few years.    

Within My Heart There Is Another Heart - by badlance and pirateygoodness - 26k words » Post-series as well, magic pregnancy. This is pretty in a way that makes my heart ache. i was surprised to see it was 26k words, since it feels so much longer and shorter than that at the same time.

The 100 - Clarke/Lexa

Within Me An Invincible Summer - by badlance - 62k words » Canon post-s2, Clarke gets over her anger at Lexa. One of the many great fics written during the hiatus, I’d put off reading it when I first got into the ship, during the start of s3, wanting to focus on what was canon at the time. And then of course 307 happened and I moved even farther away from canon, but this fic, its two-line summary, it showed up again and again in rec lists and bookmarks and was so haunting at the time, you know, seasons and people not changing, but finally I caved, and it was as wonderful as it had promised to be.    

Love on the Ground - by hedaswolf - 19k words » Also canon post-s2, taking the s3 knife scene from the trailer and again spinning it into eventual forgiveness. There’s a bit in it that is one of my favorite moments in fic ever.     

they take their shots but we're bulletproof - by nightshifted - 10k words » Again, canon post-s2, it’s like a whole genre of amazing fics just within one fandom, all the more precious for how that all turned out in canon. Like Within Me An Invincible Summer above, I couldn’t bear to read it for a long time but I knew it was one of the classics, I’d seen it pass by my dash very early on because of our shared Glee past. And yeah, it was very good, like all these post-s2 fics, allowed to be a little rougher and harsher because they didn’t yet know how much comforting the ship and fandom would need.    

More Women than Warriors - by steklir - 172k words » Boarding school AU, new American student Clarke arrives at a British boarding school where Lexa’s the Head Girl. I don’t know what was going through the author’s mind when they were writing this but given the timing and content, it felt like an extremely low stakes and ultimately fluffy take on these two kids. There’s a lot of the show’s language and customs worked into this school, so that only adds to the impression, but in the end I’ll remember this for being a rewarding sloooowwww burn and really flowery, pretty writing.    

Stud: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, Pride - by coeurdastronaute - 61k words » Modern AU, Clarke’s a teacher and Lexa’s a CEO. Really plays into the effortlessly cool Stud!Lexa thing that was going around at the time, but tbh, she was confident but nice, so I liked it. coeurdastronaute tends to write most chapters as self-contained, so it’s more like a string of connected stories than one long narrative. They’re super prolific and have a lot of stories I liked, I picked Stud as the one I remembered first, and then grabbed a few of the other more memorable ones, all modern AUs: Strip:  1, 2, 3 (10k words) -  Lexa gets a lapdance HSAU (37k words) - College AU, I’m kidding, high school AU Heart: 1, 2, 3, Thanksgiving (30k words) -  Lexa’s a heart transplant patient at the hospital where Clarke works    

Aftermath - by MaraudingTurkey - 8k words » Canon, diverging from the middle of s2, Clarke accidentally courting Lexa. It’s super charming and cute (and because of how early it was written, avoids a lot of the angst to come).    

Prompts Collection: Clexa - by nutalexfanfic - 114k words (as of 2022-12-30) » Lots of various short stories with all kinds of premises, canon and AUs. The author has several popular longer stories going as well, but they’re at various levels of completion and I actually remember really liking of the one-shots here. If interested in the longer ones, the firefighter AU Polis 433 (131k words, WIP) is quite popular, and I think the first one I read was the Olympic AU Individual Medley (95k words, WIP).    

Abby Doesn't Ask - by onlyasdark - 3k words » Canon, some vague point past 307 where Lexa doesn’t die, short vignettes in Abby’s POV. A great example of an external perspective on a ship, because you get deliberately limited glimpses, and in this case especially colored by Abby’s not exactly positive feelings about Lexa, but despite all that, the relationship shines through.    

The Library - by ethiobird - 55k words » College AU, they work at a bar (called The Library). I think what drew me to this one is that the Lexa characterization is more stoic than you often see in modern AUs, especially high school or college. I’ve ended up liking a lot of different takes on her but as much as it’s obviously nigh impossible to recreate the circumstances that created canon Lexa, I do have a particular fondness for that version so I like any fic that approaches it.    

although i'm not making plans (i hope you understand there's a reason why) - by brokendevil - 6k words » Modern AU, friends with benefits but secretly in love. The kind of second person fic that really lets you wallow in the angst before the rewarding payoff. The author has several other popular works, especially a year of sundays (98k words), a small town AU, but this one just stuck in my mind.   

To the Victor Go the Spoils - by exfactor - 11k words » College AU, Clarke and Lexa’s sororities are locked in a fierce competition. The author has some other very popular (and angstier) works but this one’s cute and fun as hell.    

the business of caring - by coldmackerel - 72k words » College AU, pretty much a workplace comedy set at campus police. Someone’s painting graffiti masterpieces all over the place and as the head of campus police it’s Lexa’s job (she thinks) to catch the culprit. This author is so good at humor, and also can be really poignant at times, like in it's called contraband for a reason (54k words), a jumbled up timeline of the two in prison. I’m told the canon amnesia fic is quite good but I’ve not yet felt emotionally up to it.    

The 300 - by Bucklethorpe - 66k words » Modern AU, Clarke accidentally burns down 300 of Lexa’s trees. This starts off as a bit of a joking take on canon, and is laugh out loud funny the whole way through, but also quite sweet. Definitely a frequent reread.    

sworn under an oath - by faithtastic - 14k words » Canon, diverges from 307, smut with feelings but the feelings are so good. This authors probably far more famous work is don't wanna be your girl (105k words), with one-shot extras and even AUs, in which Clarke is a porn star, and that is funny and hot, but this fix-it so soon after ep 307 will always be a particular balm.    

beat the devil's tattoo - by isawet - 53k words » Modern AU, they’re in college but Lexa’s secretly actually planning to take back the leadership of her small country. They fall in love anyway and it’s funny, hot, sweet, romantic, just a great well-written story with excellent reread value.    

Your Heart On My Sleeve - by aredpen - 58k words, WIP » Soulmate-marking AU set in canon, if that makes sense. Starts when Clarke’s still up in the Ark and it’s just an interesting exploration of how it all would work in those circumstances. I love the little details and insight into what would change and how.     

AGAINST THE MULTIVERSE - orphaned - 13k words » Modern AU, art student Clarke reads an article Lexa wrote and fires off an angry response, starting a correspondence. Despite not being particularly long or having a unique premise, I remember this one because the writing’s so confident and sure of what it wants to be. It feels like a lot of fics--most writing in general, really, tends to flatten itself to not stand out and it was nice to read something so strong.  

To Wear it Like a Crown - by Laney_builds_cathedrals - 42k words, WIP » Teacher/student, kinda, and definitely an age gap, so don’t read if that’s not your thing. Clarke’s the new art therapist at a school for troubled kids and realizes things aren’t quite right. It hasn’t been updated in years but the writing is just gorgeous and I couldn’t leave it off, it’ll always have a place in my lists.    

Remember Me. - by C_AND_B - 11k words » Amnesia AU, they were in a relationship and then Clarke gets in an accident. God, the perfect mix of angst and fluff. This writer has a bunch of adorable one-shots, so check the rest out too.     

tear down the walls - by wariangle - 5k words » Modern AU, Lexa’s an MMA fighter but it’s not really about that, just Clarke falling for her. Extremely hot in a very matter of fact way, but also plenty of feelings involved.    

five times clarke and lexa aren’t sure if they're a couple or not - by nutmeg101 - 8k words » College AU, everyone keeps on thinking Clarke and Lexa are together. They’re not so sure they aren’t. It’s cute! I mean, it’s exactly what a fic like this should be.    

Help, I Need Somebody (Not Just Anybody) - by thesummerofrain - 92k words, WIP » College AU, Clarke volunteers at the college helpline, Lexa writes in. It’s an anonymous line, so no worries about weird tracking or anything like that, things just organically progress so that they meet and slowly become friends. It’s mellow in general and includes lots of slice of life moments with other people as well, and of course the romance is slow burn as heck.

Maleficent - Aurora/Maleficent

The Queen of Sunshine and Bright Things - by alittlelesspain (oprhaned) - 31k words » Canon, after the first movie, Aurora has to learn how to rule while Maleficient has to learn what her place in Aurora’s life is now. Through time skips, distance, and political crises, they relearn how much they still mean to each other. It’s beautiful and romantic and a great fic for those who wanted their connection from the movie to go further.

Glee - Quinn/Rachel

This Kiss - by poetzproblem - 141k words » Canon, set in s2, starting from a game of spin the bottle. Rachel and Quinn are shaken by their kiss and Quinn especially doubles down on her mean girl persona. Faberry’s had a lot of great fics and I’ve loved so many but I remember thinking while reading this one that this is probably how it would go, if it ever happened. It’s patient and takes its time and is one of my definitive fics for them.     Also the Don’t Blink series (788k words as of 2023-01-13) is this expansive, ever-growing universe set after graduation. I haven’t read it all, but I’ve reread some of the earlier parts many times, for the super rewarding payoff to them realizing their feelings are mutual, and others finding out about them.    

A Family of Trees - by powergrapes - 8k words » Canon, diverging after s1, Quinn keeps Beth. Rachel’s somehow the only one the baby will calm down for and Quinn is reluctantly forced to call on her for help. It’s sweet and funny, my favorite from this writer but they’ve written several great fics, most popular being Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 - 60k words), a real Faberry classic, where to cheer up Quinn up after giving up Beth, the club goes on a road trip.     

Summer Mornings (oldest chapters at bottom) - by freshtilapia - 35k words » Canon, post-s1, we follow Rachel every morning of her summer vacation as she sees Quinn pass by on her daily run. Slowly they begin to hang out and bond. I think this was one of my first Faberry fics? I was a late bloomer, it took me a while to see their potential, but I really loved how authors saw their post-s1 dynamic and this was a super cute, endearing version of it.    

Boats in the Sky - by WaveGoodbye - 39k words » Canon, diverging after s3, now both in college, Rachel and Quinn are actually friends. Such good friends that Quinn’s roommate thinks maybe there’s something more. As with Clexa above, it’s so interesting how much character dynamics and fandom attitudes change depending on when a fic is written, because unlike the tension in s1 or s2 fics or Quinn being strung so tight with internalized homophobia, now she’s chill, they’re getting along. I love seeing a fic starting with them as friends, plus, a good chunk of it is external POV, which is a fave.    

Our Brilliantly Tangled Thanksgiving - by Elly-Bells - 4k words » Canon, diverging from s1, Quinn has kept Beth--actually, kind of AU too, because her parents are super nice here as well. But it’s just a super fluffy, super cute funny little fic. The author has a fair number of other fluffy fics of varying length to check out as well.    

Crazy on You -  by roxystyle011 - 82k words » Canon, futurefic written early on, Rachel’s a big celebrity now but gets into trouble and is court ordered to see a therapist, who turns out to be Quinn. This is written so early on I’m not sure if people would consider it the most in-character fic out there, though what is in-character when it comes to Glee, but it’s bold and fun and, as with the Clexa multiverse fic above, I just like when people take big swings with characters. There’s a moment near the end of the fic, when a certain page is turned, that still remains one of my favorite, most memorable reveals in fic to this day.

Dune - Chani/Irulan

Serendipity - by Tamoline - 26k words » Canon divergent, Duke Leto survives and Irulan ends up living in the Atreides household as a guest, while Paul is openly with Chani. When Irulan is called off world to testify, Paul sends Chani as her bodyguard. I’m always so grateful that I picked that year to randomly go through the f/f Yuletide entries because this is such a good fic and I could so easily have missed it completely. It’s got politics, action, enemies to lovers, just this great little novella that happens to be set in the world of Dune. It’s fics like this that have me going through the lesser kudosed out there because it’s a genuine fave.

Marvel - Carol Danvers/Jessica Drew

Smell Like I Sound - by Sineala - 7k words » Comicsverse, Carol meets Jess who’s great except Carol can’t shake an unpleasant feeling whenever she’s around. Mostly fluff surrounding the concept of pheromones.    

He Picked the Wrong One - by beckydawolf - 34k words » Comicsverse, Carol and Jess are knocked out in a battle and wake up in an alternate universe where most things are similar, except that Carol is dead and there’s no Jess. They have to figure out what happened and why they were brought there and certain feelings come to light. It’s plotty and fun and the reveal of why they were brought to the alt universe is actually pretty great.    

put them back in poetry (if only I knew how) - by singalellaby - 31k words » Coffee shop AU, Carol and Steve Rogers are best friends and come back from the army to open a bakery together. It’s a lot of slice of life stuff, making friends in the neighborhood, developing crushes on the regulars like one Jessica Drew, grad student, that kind of thing.

Teen Wolf - Allison/Lydia

Untitled - by elvesarebad - 13k words » Canon, post-s2, after recent reveals they’re no longer friends but Lydia asks Allison to help kill Peter. It’s angsty, a lot of raw edges and slow thawing of their frosty relationship in the middle of difficult circumstances, but the canon characters and friendship are so interesting and the writer captures that.

Bleach - Soi Fan/Yoruichi

The Art of Transformation - by siyentista - 30k words  » Mangaverse, mostly, Soi Fan is injured during a big battle and Yoruichi realizes how much Soi Fan means to her. Despite an action-filled start, it settles into more of a slower character-centric fic, lighter and often comical. Given their canon relationship, it’s refreshing to see the dynamic be more mutual and balanced, and despite the relatively short length, the story feels satisfyingly built up (perhaps because of how much history they already have in canon?).

Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Amy/Rosa

Farm-to-Table, Non-GMO, Responsibly Sourced - by impertinence - 6k words » Canon, going undercover as a couple to bust a maple syrup heist ring. I mean, what more is there to say, except that it’s appropriately funny and cute.     

Margin of Error - by idiopathicsmile - 8k words » Canon, Amy needs a place to stay and Rosa offers. The humor matches the show so well, and it’s great to see Rosa’s POV since she’s so deadpan.

Les Misérables - Cosette/Eponine

Any More Obvious - by idiopathicsmile - 2k words » High school AU, Cosette decides to befriend the school goth. It’s just sweet and cute.    

This Longing I Inherit - by myrmidryad - 44k words » College AU, Marius starts dating Cosette and brings her into the friend group. Cosette’s so shy and sheltered, she’s thrilled to meet new people, including the cool and intimidating Eponine. As they all become closer, Eponine realizes maybe she’s crushing on her friend’s gf. It’s much more gentle and sweet and friendship-focused than how soapy and angsty this description makes it sound, and the length allows it a slower burn. A frequent reread, especially to get to the payoff.     

she knows her way around - by lavendersgreen - 18k words » College AU, Marius is too nervous to talk to Cosette so Eponine, pining after him, volunteers to be their go-between. Cosette turns out to be surprisingly fun and as they become friends, Eponine starts to question some things about herself. The premise is already cute with even a but the characterizations and dialogue are so snappy and flow so easily, it’s a great execution of this trope.    

to be loved and to be in love - by missandrogyny - 7k words  » Soulmate-marking AU, they’re musical artists who meet at a concert and immediately get along. They start challenging each other to try songs outside their main genres, much to their fans’ excitement. The soulmate reveal is pretty satisfying as it’s seeded early, and the whole fic is sweet and cute.

The Lizzie Bennet Diaries - Gigi/Lydia

get loved, make more - by allthingsholy - 10k words » Post-series, Lydia feels uncomfortable around Gigi, given what they share in common and that everyone knows. In a series of vignettes over time, for each of the family events they meet up at, she slowly gets over it, given they have so many other things in common, including a love of gossip, fashion, and teasing their siblings. It’s a great character exploration and the writing’s so sharp and pretty.     

Searching For a Sound We Hadn't Heard Before - by Care - 13k words » Post-series, again things are uneasy at first but they thaw and the two end up taking a road trip. That’s a trope with a lot of potential, now that I’m thinking about it, the way people get to know each other under those very specific circumstances, and this is a great execution of it.    

from the dark with you above - by cairophoenix - 22k words » Post-series, again, an awkward meetup to slow friendship and in this case some prime pining afforded by the longer length. The strangers to friends to lovers pipeline just applies really well to these two, what can I say.    

Improvising - by krakens - 3k words » Post-series, some years after, Gigi decides to surprise Lizzy and Darcy with an epilogue posted on Lizzie’s vlog. She enlists Lydia’s help and things escalate. It’s cute and perfect for this particular series, it would have to be that vlog as the catalyst again.    

Candid - by rhymeswithblue - 5k words » Post-series, by simply hanging out with their famous siblings, Gigi and Lydia face some of the same online scrutiny. Again, I kind of love this aspect of a fic set in this world, because of course part it is that there’s a whole audience watching them and it influences them just as much they influence it.

She's the Man - Olivia/Viola

Loose Ends series - by fraidy_bat - 38k words » Post-movie, Olivia comes to terms with the fact that Sebastian isn’t Viola. By the time I was branching out and reading popular f/f fics many years ago, this was already a classic, both as a general f/f fic and in this particular fandom. One of those ships that makes so much sense, and this is an angsty but ultimately very rewarding take on what should have happened after the movie.

Tomb Raider (2013) - Lara/Sam

she traces your scars and rebuilds your world - by lescousinsdangereux - 18k words » Post-2013 game, Lara and Sam are still traumatized by what transpired on the island and lean heavily on each other, even as Lara heads off on another research mission. It’s a great character study at their PTSD but also building on the relationship from canon and sweet and romantic and funny. This was my definitive version of post-game canon, not the other games or the movie or the comics.

Game of Thrones - Margaery/Sansa

Keep the Bouquets series - by Netgirl_y2k - 7k words » Canon diverging...earlyish on, I don’t know the series, but most characters are still alive. Not thinking either’s worthy of Joffrey, the Lannisters arrange a marriage between Sansa and Margaery and they...make it work. Despite being relatively so short, each individual part under 3k words, they’re so effective, these two finding something in that brutal world.

St. Trinian's (2007) - Annabelle/Kelly

This Town We're Painting - by Fahye - 8k words » Post-movies, they’re an established couple, going about the not so normal lives of St. Trinian’s graduates. Funny and in the vein of the movies, bringing in many of the other former students, and solidifying the Annabelle/Kelly dynamic that seemed so full of potential.

Mai Hime - Natsuki/Shizuru

Inter Nos - by ethnewinter - 1.2m words, WIP » Ancient Rome AU, this very detailed, intricate story with all the Mai Hime characters, Shizuru’s a general and Natsuki’s assigned as her bodyguard during a visit to an allied kingdom. I’m gonna be honest, I haven’t read this in many, many years and definitely haven’t caught up, but even back then when it was a fraction of the size, it was already considered a classic. At this length, I feel like just reading what’s there is a reward in itself.

Kim Possible - Kim/Shego

Alone, Together - by Failte200 - 108k words » Canon, Kim and Shego accidentally get sent to an alternate dimension, same Earth, but no human. They have to get along to survive. Another f/f classic, I remember being much younger and the scale of the fic, the years they lived alone and grew older together, took my breath away.   

BSP01: Best Sidekick Possible - by Sobriety - 62k words » Canon, there's a King of Thieves competition and Shego wants the best sidekick possible, i.e., Kim. I think I ended up really liking the romance in this one.

Phoenix Wright - Adrian/Franziska

Follow the Fool - by CantFaketheFunk - 53k words » Canon, post-Phoenix Wright 2, Franziska feels guilty about advising Adrian to perjure herself so when Adrian asks to see her, she invites her to Germany to stay with her. The setting can be a bit goofy, as it is in the game, but the characters and relationship are taken seriously.

Sailor Moon - Haruka/Michiru

FwB - by harukaze - 321k words » AU, no powers, they meet as adults and decide to become friends with benefits. I remember this one Greyhound trip I took from NYC to Toronto, I was riveted to this fic and just read for most of the trip, wanting to see how it'd end. Soapy and angsty and very addicting.

Annnd then these two het fics:

The Big Bang Theory - Penny/Sheldon

The Paladin Protocol - by SpaceAnJL - 88k words » Canon, the guys take Penny LARPing and she ends up enjoying it, and bonding with Sheldon while Leonard feels left out. Very character driven slow burn romance while being funny and presumably true to the characters, I've not actually ever watched the show, but I've seen a few clips on Youtube. Just a great fic and one of the few m/f fics I've read more than once.

Star Trek (2009) - Spock/Uhura

The Place Between - by PsiCygni - 309k words » Canon, set before the movie, Uhura needs an advisor for her project and Commander Spock needs a partner while negotiating with a particular alien species. The only answer? Fake dating! Slowwww burn and since I like both the characters in all their forms, an enjoyable fic.

And ya know, however old some of these might be, if you liked them, think about leaving a nice review. I had a saved fic from a site that’d gone down and like, more than 10 years after it was written I sent an email to the address provided and actually got a reply! 

[vilevampire]

idk who those people are would u like to educate me...

GLADLY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just to preface this I'll explain what the fuck is going on in mairuma in general first just to provide context bc idk how much you've absorbed by osmosis (also I rmr I told u abt mairuma once on discord but . I don't rmr a single thing that was said in that convo, only that it happened)

buckle up bc this ended up getting pretty fucking long

"mairimashita! iruma-kun" is an ongoing manga and anime series that revolves around iruma, a human boy who got sold by his parents to a powerful demon and started living his life in the netherworld.

this is he. baby boy. his new demon found family enrolls him in demon school, and so while hiding the fact that he is human, iruma starts attending babyls demon school. his new grandpa (who happens to be the chairman of said demon school) puts him in a class for problem children, saying "that way your classmates will catch more attention than you, and you won't be found out (as human)!!!!"

makes sense ? no, of course not, but this is a comedy-focused series, so that's just how it is

iruma and his classmates. they're called the misfits class. I love all of them (except for … one …) dearly and could ramble abt each individual character for hours but for now I am only focusing on jazz and allocer. starting with jazzy my boy jazzy

baby son boy he is just a little guy just a little man he's just a son. jazzy is a character who is seen as cool, clever, unapproachable and mature to most other characters but is actually a huge softie inside.

he's also a kleptomaniac but he doesn't usually steal shit on purpose, it's just habit. if you ask me he's done nothing wrong in his life ever

(irrelevant tangent: jazzy actually has a specific animal theme. can you guess which animal it is ??????? I'm just fucking with you it's impossible to guess, but he's supposed to be snake-themed. the only thing that even suggests that in his design is his forked tongue, but it's. not visible most of the time so it didn't even occur to me that he was supposed to be snake themed until. embarrassingly recently. anyway)

jazz has a terrible older brother (named rock. their names r jazz and rock. like the moosic) who steals from him and belittles him constantly, but he can't fight back because his family values skill above all else, so they consider it his own fault for being vulnerable to stealing. basically "git gud lol"

because of this, jazz longs to be a better older brother than his own, despite not actually having any younger siblings. he becomes attached to cute, defenseless-looking things easily and is weak to people who look up to him and ask him for help. he likes beeing relied on and being there for others. he starts seeing most of his classmates as his younger siblings too

basically he is just a little guy and bc so much abt jazzy reminds me of myself (including his black and red color scheme) I am incredibly attached to him and he's my #2 fave character in the whole series (the first one is … well, you can probably guess)

now about allocer … where do I begin. probably by saying we know little to nothing about him, and not because the author particularly intended him to be mysterious, but just because he doesn't get much attention in the series as a whole. despite being one of the main side characters, he gets sidelined incredibly often. he's forgettable, rarely relevant and overall one of the characters we have least information on

look at him and his goofy lion face. there's no reason for him to be so ignored, it's furryphobia plain and simple.

(side note: over the course of the series his character design becomes increasingly yassified and he lets his hair grow + dyes it so don't mind that he looks slightly different in almost every picture he's in)

regardless I'll do my best to tell what we know FOR SURE 100% CANON CONFIRMED about him and then I'll dwelve into theories and hc territory (all supported by canon info, but still pretty speculatory bc of how little info we have on him in general…)

first of all he is smart. second of all. he reads books. third of all. he scored #1 in all exams. fourth of all … he is smart. that's it. wish I was kidding, but that's what his character revolves around most of the time. he gets outshined by other characters all the fucking time and usually just shows up to spout a proverb or say something related to knowledge and wisdom.

aside from that, his characterization tends to be pretty inconsistent (because the author doesn't give a FUCK about him) but I'll report on his most consistent traits and ignore the . multiple . inconsistencies.

allocer is a reserved character who doesn't talk much about himself (this is intentional at least to some extent, evidenced by the picture above). he seems to be kind of awkward, the way he phrases things tends to be unnatural, too. compare these phrases:

(I'll get to what the fuck is going on in this scene in a second I just need to ramble about allocer first)

jazzy speaks in a much more natural, conversational way, saying "what are you saying…?", while allocer simply says "incomprehensible". when he's not speaking in proverbs and book quotes, he often drops weirdly-worded sentences like that.

there's a few different scenes that help us infer that he's not good at dealing with people and emotions. for example, his fanbook profile lists "women's feelings" as his weak subject. when he gets confessed to he also states it's "abstruse", aka confusing and hard to understand

basically what I'm saying is that he's arospec and autistic-coded and nobody can change my fucking mind ok if anybody wants to argue w/ me on this I hope you've spent at least half the time I have studying every major scene allocer is in like I have. I have lost my entire fucking mind trying to infer ANYTHING conclusive about his characterization out of the NEAR NONEXISTENT CRUMBS canon has given us.

with that out of the way I can finally start talking about jazz and allocer's dynamic ^_^

jazz and allocer first become close when they're assigned to train under the same mentor, general furfur — love this guy btw — before performing in the "harvest festival", a kind of practical exam every first year at babyls has to do.

yet, for some reason, instead of actually training the two, furfur takes them to a bar. jazz and allocer question this, but furfur shrugs it off saying that connecting with adults is part of their training.

spoiler alert: furfur is a little shit and he brought jazz and allocer here to sell them into child labor to pay for his debts with the bar (remember the pictures from a while ago that I used to compare their speech patterns? that was them realizing they were being sold. lol)

and so the two of them r stuck in hell together for the next 3 weeks

(side note #2: I love their matching outfits. they look so cute)

in this hostile environment, a weird partnership forms between them. they learn more about each other. jazz tells allocer about his evil fucked up brother and how frustrated he is that he couldn't see through furfur's bullshit, to which allocer replies he is actually just as upset.

allocer's face isn't very expressive and his voice is often monotone (again, autism…) so jazz is very surprised by this.

AOAOOGUGGGHG LOOKK AT HIS BLUSHY FACE … HE'S SO CUTEEE AGG89R9. I'M normal . I'm ok.

the two of them start working towards a common goal: HUMILIATING FURFUR AND SEEING HIM CRY.

anw long story short they come up with a plan using every dirty trick they learned from the adults at the bar, their plan doesn't fucking work, they get made fun of by furfur, and they're still stuck working for free. lol

but that's how their relationship forms. what I find so fascinating about them is that they have no reason to trust each other given the circumstances, but they still do. they form an unbreakable bond. they complement each other too, one being streets smart, while the other is books smart. the partners in crime ever.

also mairuma has these little after-credits side stories called sukimas and . I will let the video speak for itself bc watching this is what made me start shipping them in the first place. just watch

they have more interactions I could talk about in-depth, but their partnership during the harvest festival arc is the most major. still I'll briefly go over some other jazzllocer moments that make me insane

at some point during the harvest festival, jazz gets disqualified (long story). and though jazz and allocer were working together during it, they were never an official team, so allocer wasn't disqualified with him. still, near the end, allocer states that "there's no point in winning if it's not together (with jazz)" (thinking abt this makes me want to detonate myself like a bomb)

when they're second years, they're put in another exam and in this one each of the misfits is supposed to protect two first year students from the teachers hunting them. jazz's strategy? he entrusted his incredibly important protegees to allocer and confronted the teachers upfront as a diversion. in the end allocer couldn't protect his own first years, but he did protect jazzy's, which earned his buddy a rank up (once again I feel like exploding at this very moment)

3. mairuma has fanbooks and that includes character profiles with some trivia on them, including a "people they are currently paying attention to" section. in jazz's profile, allocer is the first one listed there (meaning he's the one he's paying the most attention to), followed by general furfur and his brother. in allocer's profile, jazz is the first one listed, followed by furfur again and then a teacher he bonded with in a diff arc (if you can't read japanese you'll just have to believe me on this one)

btw despite ALL OF THIS canon interaction, these two r a very rare rarepair. they don't have a romantic ao3 tag bc nobody has ever published a fic w/ this ship. the ONLY fic under their platonic tag isn't even about them, they're just side characters in it. every day this fact alone spirals me into further despair and insanity. I am so fucking unwell literally rotting I am deteriorating flesh and bones losing every ounce of my fucking mind I hope at least ONE person reads this deranged ass ramble and starts to at least consider this ship bc I can't take it anymore they ahve NOOOOO CONTENTTT AAAAOGIGGHHGGO SOMEBODY GET ME OUTTTTT G924488948 gets put down like a rabid animal

[giantkillerjack]

Posting this here for receipts in case someone decides to steal this killer line of poetry I wrote for a spotify playlist description of all things (and which, together with the title, sounds like the heading of an essay that I would immediately want to read very badly):

[brutalage]

@proditeur said : "oh wow so you knew my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great uncle perphilinius ?

UGH . WHAT AN EXCITABLE , LITTLE SPAWN . " ... PERHAPS , presuming he's Roman in origin . i'd spent many a decade within the capital , under an emperor's rule . eons ago , of course . though , that isn't a name i could outright recall , unfortunately . i knew many , and killed twice that number .

but , do tell me more , at the very least . you've my attention for a brief moment in this most transient existence . "

[scarletfasinera]

Anyway since I can't send an ask because of character limit and I gave up after trying to write it three different ways and it not working, I'll just. Idk write a short vague post back? I'm assuming a vague for a vague is fair (don't worry I don't want to be mean I just have no other way of navigating this situation.) Since I'm exhausted & but want to at least express my view of it.

Idk just on the off chance they see this or one of our shared mutuals shows them or something. My "weak subtext" post had absolutely nothing to do with Adam Warlock, I didn't even remember that I reblogged that poll before making my post. I had seen like six other polls after the Adam one, bc I was actively looking through the blog, that did the exact thing my post was about, the blogrunner (who shall remain anonymous) had Pointed Out in private that it was happening and gave several examples & it was distressing them so I checked the blog myself and commented on it, which was why I made the post. Not the Adam poll in particular which I didn't remember and wasn't thinking about. I do not know enough about Adam to say anything about either the text or the subtext or anything, so I just. Wouldn't? It really baffled me that it was read that way.

Anyway. Farewell beloved mutual we barely knew ye...

[aeolids-zenith]

i hate posts that are supposed to be positivity for people who lack friends or that say that social connections are like unexpectedly inevitable/straightforward to make or something, but then like. don't elaborate on how that is possible. it always just makes me feel more hopeless

[autisticcassandracain]

is it just me or is batman like. significantly more tolerable outside of gotham comics than in

[nezuscribe]

𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: you have everything you could have asked for in life. a beautiful home in greenwhich, just far away from london so that you don't have to mingle with city life, but close enough to be surrounded by the ton. a library with all the books you could ask for and a friend you care for dearly. all except for the man of your dreams, who just so happens to be your best friends brother. worst of all, he only sees you as such. his sisters best friend. (bridgerton!au)

warnings: 18+ mdni, gojo doesn't know how to communicate his feelings, slight angst (with comfort), smut, eating out (fem! receiving), fingering, (happy ending)

word count: 17.3k+ (i have no idea how)

note: yes, this is inspired by penelope and colin. yes, i know that colin isn't a viscount. their story is coming out later than expected so i took matters into my own hands. tysm @jadeisthirsting for beta reading! (if you saw this the first time no you didn't, i hope tumblr doesn't glitch out again)

jjk masterlist

You had a great life, as far as it went. 

You were born into a wealthy family, far more wealthy than they deserved to be. You had maids at your beck and call and did not need to worry about the future as long as you acted correctly. You had book upon books, as many as you could dream of, so long as you didn’t bore your mother too much with them. You had any sort of food you could dream of and you had the most caring friend in the world who loved you very much. 

Honestly, what more could a woman ask for?

“I say we move the whole ordeal to Friday, seeing how Satoru is only arriving on Wednesday. But my mother insisted that we keep in on Thursday because the rest of London just couldn’t wait to see my dashing brother…” Lily continued her furious rant as she paced back and forth the vast expanse of your family’s drawing room, shaking her head in clear frustration. 

“And you want it to be a day later…because…?” You sipped quietly on your tea, trying to keep your smile at a minimum. It was hard not to get giggly when Lily’s face got red and her eyes bugged out of her sockets. For such a pretty girl it tended to shift her features whenever she got angry or annoyed. 

“Well, he’s going to be tired!” She stopped her pacing as she stared at you with her mouth a bit open as if it were the most obvious answer, “And whenever Satoru is tired he’s so difficult to deal with. He’s going to want to talk about his travels for at least three days before he’s ready to mingle with the rest of the works!” 

You nodded heavily, showing her that you were completely on her side. 

“Has he written to you?” She asked and then quickly shook her head, despite the fact you were going to answer with a quiet yes to her question. He had written you a few letters, all of them stashed in your vanity as you read over them, each going over his travels, sometimes sending you little knick-knacks he saw. 

“Not the point. What I’m trying to say is that my mother always goes over the limit with how much she welcomes her children. And Satoru for that matter! Christ, he’s twenty-five and unmarried!” 

You wanted to sink into your seat in embarrassment. You were only so much younger and had never had even an interaction with a suitor before. 

Life was great, for the most part. 

As much as you couldn’t complain, there was a small matter at hand that was growing increasingly more alarming the more the years went on. 

For as long as you could remember, you and Lily were set on never getting married. Ever since she read that one Jane Austen book she was hellbent on independence and no men. You tagged along, seeing how that was a better excuse than admitting no man had even asked you to join him to be his partner to dance before.

Lily didn’t seem to care much for this. While she was set on her celibacy pact, she had been approached before. It doesn’t change much, but it did at least show her that somebody wants her. You were either such as a spinster or married to some ancient man your mother had to dig out from some corner of the market. 

“And Satoru…” Lily rambled on, but all it did was remind you of an even worse fact. 

You were terribly in love with her brother. 

You have known the Gojo family for ten years, five months, twelve days, and two hours, and you have been in love with Gojo Satoru for ten years, five months, twelve days, and thirty minutes. 

Their family had immigrated from Japan months before the oldest child was born, but they had only moved to Greenwich ten years, five months, and ten days ago. You met them only two days later when you accidentally wandered into their gardens, unknowing that a family had just moved in. 

The first time you met that particular Gojo, you were thirteen and facing serious issues with yourself and your own family. You wanted to move to America in hopes that the boys over there would fancy you more and your mother forbade it. Satoru laughed when he saw your horrified face popping up from their blackberry bush, definitely not expecting to see anybody there. 

“Hello there,” the stranger called out. You thought he was a grandfather with the way his hair was artic white, but he only seemed to be a bit older than you the closer he got. 

“I’m not stealing from you I swear!” You cried out as you let the blackberries tumble out of your stained hands. You cannot be taken to prison, you simply wouldn’t survive. 

“I can see that.” He crossed his arms as he tried not to laugh at the way your dress was stained a dark blue color. 

He introduced himself, and Lily, and soon, you and the girl were attached at the hip. 

It didn’t help that as kind and as charming as he was, he only saw you as his sister's closest friend. It also didn’t help that every other woman in high society seemed to be in love with the man and it certainly made it so much more horrific that he seemed to have his eyes on everybody else but you. 

He, much like his sister, was averse to the idea of marriage, but for a completely different reason. 

He seemed to despise the idea of being committed, which is most likely why he had been traveling the entirety of Europe and Asia for the past year or so. Despite his mother’s frantic worrying about setting him up with a respectable lady, he pushed them all aside and fled (in some sense) and will be making his grand appearance a couple of days from now. Everybody is chattering with excitement. You’re trying not to fill with total impending dread. 

It had already taken everything you had to pretend that he didn’t exist and that he had simply disappeared, and you knew your wretched mind would fall for him just as quickly as it did the first time around when you were set to see him next week. 

“...and, are you even listening?” Lily asked, her voice garbling back to life as you snapped your eyes back to hers, covering your mouth with your teacup as you insistently nodded, trying to keep your smile from faltering as she squinted her eyes to look you over and see what was wrong.

“I’m totally in tune with you Lils,” you insisted, nibbling on a cookie to help you with nausea which only seemed to make it worse. 

“Hm,” she grunted, not seeming to believe you but not truly caring as she continued, “And thank the heavens you’ll be there beside me, for who knows what would become of me in such an unruly crowd of men and women just waiting for my brother to make his entrance. I’d lose my sanity.” 

Yes, you thought, how lucky. If only love worked that way, of ignoring it until it faded. If only.

“I’ll be there.” You promised. 

For better or for worse, you’d be there. 

---

The ball was just as you had imagined it. 

Extravagant, elegant, large, and incredibly crowded. 

One of the perks of being an outsider in these sorts of scenes is you didn’t have to dance anymore (no matter how much it stung the first time around getting used to this fact). 

Lily was off somewhere, being forced to socialize. Your other sisters were also lost in the crowd, either dancing or being swooned by a potential match. 

You were yet to see the man of the hour, but then again, so was everybody else. He was either hiding away or being swallowed whole by the hoards of people eager to get a glimpse of him. 

Not that you wanted to see him, of course. Just curious. 

The food was, as always, a bonus. Nobody was going to judge you for scarfing anything down when you had begrudgingly sworn off marriage, and perhaps one of the good things about Lily's pact was that you didn’t care much about the public eye anymore. 

“Please, at least act like we’re not starving you.” Your mother pleaded, unfortunately, stuck to your side for the night as she eyes you and your plate. 

“I’m trying my best,” you reasoned, making sure you didn’t drop anything on your dress. 

“The Viscount is coming tonight,” she tried to think and you snorted, earning some distasteful looks from the widows around you. 

“And he’s just dying to see me, I suppose?” You rolled your eyes at the idea, to help the sting from your own words. It was better to be rationable than to be delusional. 

“Well it doesn’t hurt to-”

“Try?” You cut her off with another laugh as you chew on an eclair, “Might as well. Right after the Princess introduces herself I’ll go up.” The two of you eye the girl in the diamond-encrusted gown with an equally bright tiara on her head. Your mother gave up the argument. 

For the last couple of days, you have been at a mental war with yourself. On the one hand, it surely must mean something if he wrote you letters. On the other one, he wrote it to his entire family and he probably views you as such. No matter how much you want to pretend that the Gojo cares for you, it won’t be in the same way that measures how much you care for him. 

“I’m going to get some more of these macaroons, I’ll be right back.” You excuse yourself as your mother pressed her lips into a thin line, wanting to push you to dance but knowing no amount of persuading was going to change your mind when it was already set on something. 

Wading through the dense crowd was certainly a feat, but you did it nonetheless. From the dessert table, you could barely make out the pop of chartreuse that was Lily's gown, and you wondered how much longer until she’d be free to giggle and gossip with you. 

Your eyes scanned over the little sweets carefully as you mentally weighed which one would taste good and which one would be a surprise in the kindest sense of the word. The colorful ones were often pretty but they tested either too bland or too bitter and the ones with caramel side sugar tended to be too sweet. All the good macaroons with the pistachio filling were gone, which was odd because you could only count on your fingers how many people aside from you tended to favor that one. 

“Looking for something?”

A green macaron was held in front of your face, slowly forcing you to turn your head in its direction as it began to pull away from you

Him. 

“Oh!” 

Oh? If only you could hit yourself in the head that would be great. 

“Oh?” Gojo chuckled, his brows pinching together in slight confusion at your reaction as his lips threatened to pull into a teasing smile, “I haven’t seen you in a year and that's what you’ve got to say?”

You try not to let your heart flutter at his cheeky manner as you roll your eyes, your smile growing as you take him in. 

He’s gotten taller if that was even possible. His hair is still as white as it was, and it seems that no amount of sun was going to change that. He’s gotten a little bit tanner, no longer that frigid pale hue to his skin that made you worry he’d drop dead at any moment. He’s unfortunately more muscular, which just means you have to cast away the scrawny image you’ve made in your mind in hopes that he’d come back anemic. 

His eyes are just as captivating as ever, blue and inviting. His jaw is sharper and yet he has no facial hair on his face. Which you prefer on most men but you’re glad he’s never given into that trend. 

Most importantly, he still looks like that boy you fell in love with so many years ago, and no time away would ever change you at your core. 

You try to not let your neck prickle with heat as he seems to assess you the same way you're doing to him, try not to feel self-conscious as his eyes roam over your features. Sure, a person can change in a year, but you wouldn’t bet you’ve changed that much that would warrant this amount of staring.

“So…?” 

“‘Toru, hi!” You snap out of your state, watching as his face picks up and breaks into a grin as you set your plate down somewhere, seemingly now realizing that Satoru is here and in front of you, “My, you’ve grown so much!”

“Really?” He looks at his torso and his arms as if he can’t believe it. 

“Well, a bit,” you curse at your awkwardness as he cocks a brow, “I’m sorry, I’m a bit out of my element tonight. I apologize for my earlier reaction.” You duck your head down for a second as he waves it off, hopefully not offended. 

You’re glad this little table is tucked away in an alcove away from most of the public eye, and the only people around the two of you are older people and the people standing outside in the gardens. Either they don’t see the man or they’re being somewhat human and granting the two of you some privacy. 

“Apology accepted, but not needed,” he teases, patting your shoulder affectionately as you try not to act as if that single touch made you reconsider the idea of marriage. 

“How are you?” He asks after a beat, not affected by your out-of-character attitude as he tilts his head to the side. 

“As good I could be,” you offer him a wink that came off as an elongated blink, “Whatever Lily filled you in on has most likely happened to me too.” He chuckles, his laughter the sound of melted honey. 

Fuck, you’re never going to get over him. 

“And you? How were your trips?” You egged him on, eyes tracing him, watching as some pink dusted over his cheeks. 

“Boring. Couldn’t wait to come back.” He says, but you can hear the sarcasm in his voice. Mixed with the way he couldn’t contain his bits of laughter, you laughed alongside him. 

“I’d believe it if not for your tan and newfound outlook on life, or so it seems from how Lily describes it.”

“She exaggerates everything,” he waves it off, and you wonder what that double-edged sword implies. 

“I-”

“He’s here!” You hear a loud voice cut you off as the two of you look over your shoulder to see his mother leading the awaiting princess and her train to where the two of you are standing, “He seems to be getting warmed up with this fine lady!” She says your name as heat rushes to your cheeks in embarrassment. 

It was only seconds before you were surrounded by men and women you had never seen before, all hanging off of Satoru’s words as he scrambled to answer all of their questions. 

And so it begins, you say to yourself as you push away from them, going to find Lily as you wonder why you even try. 

You miss the way he calls out for you, quiet enough so that nobody else hears it, but loud enough that his chest tightens in confusion at the sheer desperation of it. 

---

“I despise men!”

You’re at the Gojo estate for once, and Lily has started a new tirade that has lasted for the last hour. 

“What brought this on?” You press, exchanging worried glances with Satoru and her younger sister as she groans, jamming her palms into her eyes as she vehemently shakes her head. 

“Does this,” she shoves her hand, more importantly, her ring finger without a ring, in front of your face, “Look like I’m keen on getting married to you?”

“No….?” You mutter, scared of what she would say next. 

“Does it look like an invitation to barge into my home?”

“Not exactly,” You say, earning a sympathetic look for Satoru as she glares at him. 

“Does it look like I want to get frisky in the broom cupboards?”

“Christ! Lily, your sisters here!” You shout, jumping to cover the young girl's ears. Lily waves it off and Satoru just chuckles, a twinkle in his eyes as you usher the girl out of the tea room as you slam the door shut. 

“This certainly beats the beaches in Venice,” Satoru says as you near the table again, winking at you as you laugh quietly. 

“I’m so glad I’m not getting married. You should be too,” she points her finger at you as you look up at her, “Men are nothing but evil, money hungry, sex driven-”

“Charming, majestic-” Satoru talks over her as she talks even louder. 

“Dirty animals!” She finishes with a cry. 

You and Satoru share a glance as you try to laugh. She’s not wrong, far from it. The majority of men in this place needed to be sent back to their creator, but Lily had a vein in his forehead that was protruding at an odd angle. 

“You laugh now, but you’ll be thanking me fifty years from now.” She warns as you nod, acting totally compliant with her. 

“You’re still with her on her no-marriage pact?” Satoru asks as he stands up, walking past Lily as he looks out from the window, seemingly admiring the gardens outside. He glances over at you as you sink into the satin cushions beneath you. 

“Yes,” but your answer came out shaky and unsure. 

“Of course she is,” Lily answered for you with a definite nod, “And besides, she’s the luckier one. It’s not like any man has even asked her to marry anyway.” She says jokingly, shoving a biscuit in her mouth as she plops herself down beside you, nudging your shoulder with hers as if it were the funniest thing in the world. 

You wish the sofa could swallow you whole. 

“Hey,” Satoru turns around, brows furrowed as he looks at his sister, but the door opens before he can finish his sentence. 

“Miss Gojo,” their butler, Fred, who you’ve known since you’ve known Lily announces for her as he stands at the foot of the door, “Your mother has requested your presence in her quarters.”

Lily stands up with a groan, wiping the crumbs off of her dress as she makes sure there’s nothing around the corners of her mouth. 

“I’m needed elsewhere,” she pats your arm caring for it despite having her words wanting to make you plummet yourself off of a cliff, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You give her a weak goodbye, watching as she leaves with the door shutting behind her as you sit up a bit straighter, getting ready to leave yourself. 

You stand up, careful not to make any eye contact with Satoru out of sheer embarrassment as you smooth out the wrinkles in your dress, hoping the silence would suffocate you faster than it would him. 

“Lily talks too much sometimes,” he finally says, stepping away from the window as he takes a two closer to your direction, before passing, “I’d apologize on her behalf but I’m pretty sure she’s already forgotten what she’s said.” He tries to lighten the mood and bless his soul, but you can already feel your spirits for the day sour. 

“It’s alright,” you promise, though he seems to disagree but you continue anyway, “I know her, she doesn’t mean it.” Still doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt, a part of you chides. 

“Are you leaving?” He asked, taking another tentative step forward. 

“I was planning on it,” you say with a little chuckle, hoping that your eyes watering up wasn’t too noticeable, “Is that alright with you?”

He looked at you with his bright eyes and just blinked, taking a while to reach his senses. 

“Y-yes! Yes, quite alright. Let me just get my coat…” He muttered, brushing past you as you quickly tried to reject his incoming offer. 

“There’s no need!” You run a bit to catch up to him and his fast pace, “My house is barely two skips away,” you lamely joke, hoping he’d give it up. You wanted to wallow in your self-pity on your walk home, not have to converse with the one man who’d inadvertently give you more to pity over. 

“Not a chance,” he argued, draping the coat in question over his arm, “What sort of person would I be if I let you walk out alone?”

Any other person, you wanted to say but stopped yourself. 

“I don’t mean to bother you…” You wrong your hands in a nervous state, eyes darting everywhere but his. 

You were trying to work on your silly crush this past week, which had unfortunately ramped up ever since he came back. In response, you worked out that the best solution to getting over it was to act like he didn’t exist and ignore him whenever possible. Clearly, it was working out completely in your favor. 

“Not a bother at all.” He insisted, linking his other arms with yours as you jumped a bit in surprise. He was forward, if anything. 

“Fred,” he calls out, getting the butler's attention as you try to hide yourself away, “Tell my mother I’ll be back in a bit.” The man just nods, opening up the front doors as Satoru leads the two of you out. 

The sun was out and working away, which didn’t help with the heat already prickling away through your skin. The Gojo estate was large, but hidden away, and for that you were glad. You could only imagine the gossip that would arise if certain ladies in society were to see you (helplessly) draped over the bachelor's arm. 

“Are you enjoying being back here?” You asked, trying to exert your confidence when you were feeling anything but. 

It’s not like you were unsure of yourself at most times, it’s just that when you’re around the one man you’ve been in love with since childhood and he feels nothing of the sort, you can’t help but be more conscious over everything. 

Satoru looked at you, shrugging as he pursed his lips, thinking of an answer. 

“I missed it,” he says, “But I mainly came back for my family and my friends and well…” He trailed off, chewing on his lip as he waved off his thoughts as if it didn’t matter, “Nonetheless, now that I’ve been around them, I remember why I wanted to leave.” 

And sometimes, despite him not wanting to, made you feel as if you were the most important person he’s had the pleasure of talking to, when in reality that’s just in his nature. 

“Is Lily pestering you too much?” You tease, a little smile on your face that wrinkles the edges of your eyes. He simply stared at you again, his eyes bright. 

“That,” he playfully tugged on your arm, “And the fact that my mother has bombarded me with the idea of marriage. And Luke is having troubles with his fiancé  and Annie doesn’t want to learn to read…it’s all just very chaotic.” He finished with a tired laugh, as if that’s all he could muster up. 

“Seems like a normal day in your house, if I’m being honest.” You lament, kicking a pebble with the point of your shoe. 

“I guess so,” he heaves a sigh that comes out dramatically, “Honestly, I don’t know how you’ve put up with it all these years.”

You scoff, digging your elbow into his side a bit to show that you were offended by his statement. 

“Your family is perhaps the closest thing I have to a second family!”

“And who says family can’t get on your last nerve?” He argued, and that shut you up. He was, indubitably, correct. 

“Yes, well,” you stumble to find some reasoning and he laughs seeing you falter, knowing that he got you cornered, “‘Toru, you are simply a horrible influence to be around.” Is all you can come up with, and despite the severity of your words it only seems to spur him on even more. 

“And yet you can’t seem to get enough of me, can you?” 

You almost stopped in your tracks, your heart seizing in your chest as you try not to fumble up your well-made facade of indifference. 

All you could remember upon his statement were the words he spoke so long ago, not knowing you’d heard them. 

“Charles, you don’t get it, I don’t want a wife!” Satoru exclaimed as he snapped at his friend. It was a gala held at the queen's palace and you had strayed too far away from Lily and found yourself hiding behind a wall as you eavesdropped on the conversation. 

“Not even the Princess?” Another man pushed as you heard Satoru let out a heavy sigh. You peeled around to see him pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“I don’t want to be tied down. You saw what happened to my parents.” He argued. A part of you sympathized with him. 

“Well,” you could make out this voice as his younger brother, two years older than you he went to thinking, “What about that friend of Lily’s? She seems nice enough.”

The hair on your arm pricked upwards. Surely they couldn’t be talking about you. 

“Who?” Satoru asks and his brother says your name in a hushed whisper, as if you held more weight in your title than the Princess did. 

“Her? No, absolutely not,” he said with such disgust that his friends thought he was joking, “You’re out of your mind if you’d think I’d want to court her.”

Your heart, full of love and hope and dreams cracked, crumbled in your chest. And you left, running away because that’s all you knew how to do and sobbed your eyes out to Lily, stating that you heard somebody talking bad about you, refusing to admit that it was her own brother that was causing you to break in front of her. 

A part of you felt pathetic for still caring for him after that night, but there’s not much fight in you when it comes to the people you loved. You pulled away, sure, and stopped your lame excuses of flirting, but you never stopped. He never found out that you heard, so he continued as your friend and you continued as the shameless woman. 

“Right,” you swallow thickly, glad that your estate is now growing closer and closer, knowing that you feel sick and can’t handle it anymore, “Thank you so much for your help, but I’m sure I can make the treacherous journey on my own now.” 

You wring your hand away from his arm, you smile wobbling as you tip your head in his direction, watching him try to make sense of your quick change in nature. 

“Let me take you up to your door,” he started but you raised your hand to silence him, shaking your head. 

“That would be too much to ask for. I will leave you here…um, Satoru,” you say politely, not noting the way his jaw clenched at your sudden formality when addressing him, “I’ll see you tomorrow, hopefully.”

And you left quickly before he could say anything else. You must stay focused on the reality of your situation;

Your best friend's brother just simply wasn’t in love with you. 

---

“Miss,” 

You perked up from your chair in your quaint little library, setting your book down as you watched one of the maids, Ella, politely calls from the door. 

“There’s a gentleman outside calling for you.”

Your brows furrowed as you found a marker so that you don’t lose your place and purse your lips together in questioning. 

“Do you know who…?” Your head cocked to the side as you stood up, walking near her as you wondered if it were that delivery boy who said he’d come with the new copies of the Brontë books you’d been eyeing for the past month. 

“It’s the Viscount Gojo, miss.” She said simply. 

Your face dropped, and you watched as confusion spread across hers. 

“Him? Here? Did he say what was wrong?” You began to rustle around, trying to find something to throw on top of your slip. 

Did something happen to Lily? Did she run away? Was their mother in trouble? You could recall her telling you that her head was aching, could something serious have happened because of that? Christ, you should have told somebody about it rather than comfort her and make her tea. Was he leaving again? Perhaps-

“He said he wanted to see you miss, that’s all he told me.” She seemed apprehensive, judging your face to see if you were maybe feeling ill due to your reaction. 

“Um, alright, just,” you hurried around, trying your fastest to get to your room, “Tell him I’ll be down in a few minutes! Don’t tell him I’m preparing myself, just say that I was discussing matters with somebody!” You call out as you sprint across the halls, not hearing any confirmation as you lock yourself in your room, ransacking your closet to find something not too flashy but not too boring. 

It took a good four minutes just to find a suitable dress and another five to make your face and hair look presentable enough as you scampered down the stairs only to find said Viscount waiting in the foyer. 

His face turned to yours as he heard your heels clicking on the marble, growing into a bright smile as he dipped his head down to greet you. 

“Hello,” he said your name with that smooth voice of his as he took his jacket off and kept it on his arm, “I’m sorry for turning up on such short notice.”

“It’s no problem,” you try to catch your breath for the first time in the last ten minutes as your chest heaves slightly up and down, “No problem at all. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

He takes a second to respond, eyes scanning your features, your clothing, your chest as it tries to catch a solid breath, and you feel yourself look down to make sure there aren't any noticeable wrinkles in the fabric. 

“I, I just wanted to drop in. See how you were doing.”

You tried not to look even more startled, but your brows creased once again as you gnawed on the inside of your cheek. 

“I’m quite alright…thank you…?” You couldn’t look that out of the ordinary, right?

“Good, that’s good,” he watched as you finished your descent down the stairs, slowly coming towards him as you waited for him to finish, “I’m sorry if I interrupted your conversation with…?” Ella did give him a name you wanted to guess. 

“Lord Cornwallis.” You finished for him, not knowing why that was the first name that came to your mind. It was true that he had been here yesterday, but you didn’t talk much to him in his brief visit. 

“Lord Cornwallis?” Satoru repeated back in shock, his brows shooting upwards as he did nothing to hide his outburst. His face quickly turned into one of disgust, which accurately represented the emotions you felt yesterday when you eavesdropped on the conversation he had with your mother behind closed doors. 

“Yes, you just missed him. He went out through the back door,” why were you making this web of lies even bigger? You have no self-control, do you?

“What was Cornwallis doing here?” 

You but your tongue, having to come up with a lie or tell the truth as to why he had visited yesterday. Either way, both options turned out with horrible results. 

“He asked for my hand.” The truth it was, then. 

His brows seemed to disappear into his hairline as his jaw slacked, mouth wide open. Damn your mind, you should have just lied. 

Lily was wrong in one thing, perhaps. You have gotten a few marriage offers in the last three years, but by all men who were older than your grandfather. You hadn’t even told Lily about them and now you were telling her brother. 

“I…” Satoru couldn’t even find the right words to say. You wanted to bury yourself in a hole. 

“…Cornwallis? Isn’t he-”

“Pushing ninety-nine? Yes.” Nobody was sure of his age, and ninety-nine was perhaps even being too generous. Everybody knew that Cornwallis was simply ancient. 

“Did I save you from the conversation at least? I must say, if there was any man I would wish ill upon, it’s certainly him. He’s a lying old cheat.” He tried to joke again but you swallowed thickly. Perhaps if he came at the same time yesterday he might have. But he didn’t and you had to sit through an hour of him pleading with your mother as the two of you just stared in abject horror and surprise. 

“Yes well, thank you…for doing that.” You lied, cleaning your teeth together as you tried to smile, not wanting to hurt his feelings as you came up closer to him, desperately hoping to change the topic of the conversation. 

“Is everything alright with Lily?” You asked his eyes that were focused on the floor jumping to yours as your lips parted, worry still clear on your face. 

“Yes, of course, I just wanted to ask a favor of you. But, judging from your encounter with men today I would understand if this is pushing it,” he cut right to the crux of the matter. He seemed nervous, which was an odd emotion to see on a man otherwise very confident and sure in himself. It unsettled you. 

You tilted your head, waiting for him to find his words and continue. You could make out the slight blush on his face, the pink hue that spread across his cheeks, and the tip of his nose. He was, by all means, the cutest person you’ve ever seen. 

“My mother's holding another ball, two weeks from now, you see,” his lip caught between his teeth, “And she’s been bugging me about having a date for the night. She wants to appease the rest of the gentry, I suppose. Would you, by any chance, like to be that?” 

You stopped computing his words. 

“...It’s honestly just to get her off my back. And you wouldn’t have to stay with me the entire evening, you could do whatever you’d like after we get some of the necessities over with. Lily was the first who suggested the idea, she said you wouldn’t be doing much other than gossip with her. Of course, if you don’t want to I certainly won’t force the idea, but it’s merely a suggestion.” His blue eyes, ever so convincing and round and caring bore into yours, and despite your better judgment you find yourself nodding. 

“I wouldn’t mind it,” you say a bit breathlessly, completely forgetting about Cornwallis and the way you were debating it and the fact that this means nothing at all, and would most likely cause you more harm than good. 

His nervousness washed away into a big smile, and you cursed yourself at the little flicker of hope you felt deep in your soul as he scrambled to find the right words to say to thank you. The flood of gratitude and appreciation stabbed deeply into your heart as he kept repeating friend, but you were too hopeful for love. 

Your mother always said that loving would always be your greatest weakness. 

---

You should have said no. 

The amount of eyes that were focused on you was enough to make you nauseous, and you couldn’t get sick for you hadn’t had anything to eat today with how hurried everything was. 

Your arm was draped around Satoru’s, and he held tightly onto your hand. He was the image of luxury and charisma right now, and if you were in the crowd looking as he made his way through the crowd you almost would have wanted to bow. 

Time came by a lot faster when you were totally freaking out over it, and before you knew it, you were put in a dress you hadn’t even picked and corseted to the heavens. Your hair was done with extra detail, and they even went as far as putting some Swarovski’s into it so that when the candlelight hit it, you’d sparkle twice as much. 

Satoru, ever the gentleman, had picked you up from your estate as he walked you to their home amidst all the chaos of getting ready for another ball. In all honesty, you have no idea how their mother manages to keep her sanity through all of this.

You were still a bit giddy from your earlier interaction with Satoru, although it didn’t do much to calm your nerves now. 

“I’m sorry for taking so long!” You had said as you rushed down your stairs, careful not to trip over your train as you put your earrings in. Ella said that he was waiting for you downstairs, you just underestimated how early he’d be. 

“Don’t apologize…” He had turned around from admiring a painting, his eyes widening a bit when he saw you. He quickly shut his mouth, but you had already gauged his reaction. You tried not to let it get the best of you, but you could have sworn he blushed more often than usual when you interlinked your arm with his.

“You’re cutting off my blood circulation.” He whispers in your ear as you try to smile, your eyes nervous as they dart around the room. How could it be even bigger than that last ball? Did they suddenly meet thirty new people? 

“Maybe you could cut mine off.” You snap back through your teeth, your hand gripping his wrist as tightly as you could. 

“How are we supposed to dance if one of us is dead?” He grumbles back, putting on a little grin as he makes eye contact with his mother, and then goes back to whispering, “It’s just one song and you’re done. You’ve done this before.”

You wanted to shove him to the ground. 

“No, I haven’t!” You say loud enough that he hears but try to mask it so that nobody else does, “I told you yesterday this is my first time dancing with somebody!” As embarrassing as it was to admit, right now you couldn’t be bothered to care as he led you to the middle of the room, standing in first position as you two waited for the orchestra to begin. 

“Are you saying I’m your first?” He teased, his tongue poking out from between his lips as he watched you grow mortified, rubbing the back of your hand in a comforting way as his means to apologize. 

You wanted to go ahead and argue but the cello and violins started and you were whisked away by his calculated movements, and the only thing you could do was follow in his lead. 

The two of you practiced a bit in the days leading up to this, but it was a lot different when your only crowd was Lily and her constant whining about how boring it was. 

Now, with everybody staring at you and him, it was far more daunting. 

“Don’t look at the ground, look at me,” he whispered in your ear, smiling when your eyes traveled to him. He tried not to crack when he saw the pure loathing and hatred in them, but at least you were looking up and not at his shoes. 

“‘Toru I’m never doing a favor for you again, you owe me.” You groan, letting him twirl you around in a circle as some of the ladies give a polite clap. 

“Name your price.” He egged you on, bringing you back flush against his chest as his hand found purchase on your waist. 

“Not money,” you grumble, eyes twitching as your heart beats rapidly in your chest, you’ve always wanted to dance with him, sure, but not under these circumstances. 

“Books?” You consider it but shake your head. You deserve something bigger for what you’re putting yourself through. Shocking enough, after being a wallflower for so many years, you weren’t handling being in the spotlight too well. 

“I’ll think about it. But it has to be big.” You warn and he lifts up his pinky on your waist to show you his unbridled loyalty to keeping true to your words.

“Where are you going after this is done?” He spins the two of you around, and you watch as more couples rush around the two of you. It’s less stressful when others are dancing, but you still feel tense. 

“I’m probably going to stay with Lily outside.” He seems to deflate a little, though he still stands tall, his suit never crinkling through his movements. 

“No more dancing?” He teased but you vehemently disagree with the idea. 

“Never again.” It’s not as though you hate it, in fact, a younger you would have been jumping with glee to be able to dance with Satoru. But after years of growing accustomed to watching rather than participating, you can’t grow out of that habit. 

You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned around to see the Princess herself as she looked at you with pleading eyes. 

“Would you mind if…?” She motioned to Satoru and then to you. You barely noticed the number coming to an end, and the rupture of applause was the last thing you heard before you scrambled away from him. 

You didn’t even notice how he had held onto your hand tighter, not wanting to let you go.

“O-of course, your majesty.” You winced at your select choice of words and how you said her title almost as if you questioned it. 

“Thank you.” She mumbled and for somebody of such high regard, you wouldn’t think of her to need to plead with somebody, especially you, to be able to have a dance with Satoru. 

Your job for the night was done, successfully might be too loose of a term, but finished nonetheless. You chose not to look back at Satoru, knowing that the wide grin he’d save for the girls he was interested in would only twist that knife deeper into your heart. 

You were a sadist in the most pathetic way possible.

You waved goodbye to Satoru as another number started again, and tried your best to get away from all the twirling bodies as you headed out to find Lily. 

It didn’t take long until you found her trying to weasel out some information from her brother, tapping him repeatedly on the shoulder as he tried to fight her off. 

“…what did you hear, what do you know?” She pressed as he groaned, obviously trying to have a private conversation with the lady next to him. 

“Nothing Lily!” He locked eyes with you as he almost begged silently for you to take her. 

“Lily, I’m here. We can go now.” You looped elbows with her as you dragged her away, giving her brother a quick smile that said you accepted his gratefulness. 

As you walked through the stone path in the garden, she muttered dejectedly about how she was just about to get some good information out of him. 

“How was dancing with Satoru?” She finally asked after a while. The two of you weren’t alone, but far less crowded than it would if you had been inside. 

“Stressful, but the song was short so I wasn’t needed for too long.” You tell her honestly. If there’s one thing you can’t do with Lily it’s lie, for she’ll sniff out of you the moment you come up with it. 

“You look flustered.” She noted, looking over your face and the sweat that dotted over your cheekbones. 

“You dance in a sweltering room like that with the entire ton looking at you and try not to get flustered.” You reasoned and she seemed to buy it. It wasn’t a total lie, but a stretch of the truth. 

“You know,” Lily had terrible balance and often collided with you as she walked, “I was talking to my mother and despite her insistent warnings, I think we should make it official.”

“Make what official?” The lights from the candles above you illuminated her face and she had that look of mischief that either excited or frightened you. 

“That we plan to be unwed.” She grinned cheek to cheek and all you could feel was that same wave of nausea that had been prickling at you since the start of the night. This was the last thing you needed to hear about right now. 

“They’re going to think we’re either lunatics or lovers.” You say with a sullen and heavy sigh, looking up at the sky in some sort of desperate manner as you wait for some sort of angel to save you from this conversation. 

“And what’s the issue with that? Let them think. You have always said you’ve wanted this, so let’s let the world know.” 

Something you wish Lily was was to be more aware. As loving, thoughtful and caring as she was, she never seemed to pick up on the little things. For one, you doubted she noticed just how quiet you got whenever she brought up this conversation. You’d give her the benefit of the doubt and say that you rarely talked much when it came to marriage, but that was just so that you could save yourself from the ongoing embarrassment of never having experienced love or some sort of feeling that somebody would feel towards you to genuinely want to be your husband. 

Not only that, but far from Lily's point of help, is the fact that ever since Satoru has been back, your childish feelings have come flooding right in with him. No matter how many tea sessions you have with Lily and have him sitting in the background, either reading the morning's paper or jotting things down in his journal, it always spins to him sitting right beside you as you talk about anything under the sun. 

And while you know your hopes of marrying him are just too far-fetched, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic. Something Lily just hasn’t ever been able to pick up on when around you. Which is shocking, seeing how the only novels you’ve read for the majority of your life was centered around such a topic. 

“Listen, Lily, I’ve been thinking,” you pause for a second in your place, staring at the pebbles arranged in the formation of a star as you swallow your bile, “That maybe…” 

You were nervously wringing your hands together, a sign that Lily knew all too well. She could read you like any of her books, and she let out a gasp, covering her mouth with a shaky hand as she pointed an accusatory finger at you. 

“No,” she dug the finger into your chest, “You’re thinking of breaking up the pact?” It comes out breathless. Her soft curls of white that had been done up beautifully were slowly falling down as she shook her head in pure shock, not giving you a chance to talk. 

“I mean this is just brilliant. Brilliant! What am I supposed to do now, go out into the world alone as a spinster?” 

You stuttered, your fingers interlaced with one another as you tried to calm her down from causing a scene. Trying to shush her came to no avail as you wring your hands away from her, acting as if your touch was burning. 

If the Gojo’s were anything, it’s overly dramatic in places where dramatics were certainly not needed. 

“Please be rational,” she urged you as she clutched onto your wrists, suddenly pleading to you with her wide eyes, “The season is almost over and you haven’t had any offers. Sooner than later we’re going to be thirty, then forty, then fifty, and husbandless. We should say it now so that it doesn’t come off as a pathetic cry to hold onto what little decency we have in the future!” 

Christ, you hated that she was being somewhat logical. But her rationality stung, the way melted wax does when it burns the skin. She didn’t know just how much she was hurting you, and you doubted she ever would. 

“Look, I know I’m probably not going to be offered a chance at marriage, but it wouldn’t hurt to at least try.” You try to reason with her as she sniffs, her eyes squinted as she looks at you in anger. 

“This was our pact and you’re going against it! What’s next?”

You were going to argue that this pact was only made on the basis of her having too much champagne to drink and you being sullen over her brother, but you were cut off from getting the chance to do so. 

“What’s your issue?” 

You turned around at the familiar voice as you saw Satoru nearing you, Lily continuing her rant as she seemed to completely miss that her brother was coming towards the two of you. 

“What?” You felt overwhelmed with having two Gojo’s corner you, both rather angry from the looks of it. 

“I know that this isn’t your scene but you said you’d be my date. You don’t have to dance with me, but at least be there.” He looks like he’s seething, and you’ve never seen this look on him before. It’s jarring, to say the least. 

You feel like your head is about to explode. 

“I just-”

“....and my mother was only more confident in the idea if you were doing it!” Lily exclaimed, causing you to look back at her as she urged you to think about it. 

“...my mother has given me at least twenty women to mull over in the last twenty minutes. It would have been none if you just acted as my date for the night!” Satoru’s voice rose, and you felt like your heart was going to actually stop. Your head was spinning, your vision was blurry, and you couldn’t hear anything besides a loud ringing in your ears. 

“I’m sorry but-” The two of them talked over you, so stuck in their own worlds that they didn’t notice the tears pricking at your eyes or the way you seemed to be short of breath. It would probably be one of their greatest flaws, never noticing something until it was far too late. 

“Stop!” You cried out, earning some looks from the people around you as you rubbed at your forehead, already feeling it ache under your touch, “Please! Listen, just for a bloody second!” 

You took a deep breath and began. 

“I’m a fucking romantic Lily, and nothing’s ever going to change that! I always have been! And I want to get married, I just agreed to your pact because I know I’m probably never going to get that chance! And god, how can your only takeaway from reading Persuasion be to abstain from marriage?” Your nose crinkles in anger as you turn around to point your finger at her brother's chest, watching as he takes your reaction in obvious surprise. 

“You!” You cry out and he almost backs away, “I was trying to give you some courtesy by leaving! God forbid you gave anybody the idea that you were courting me!” You quickly wipe at your eyes but it does fuck all of hiding how you truly felt as your lips wobbled.  

“Why would…?” He's breathless, no longer angry, just utterly confused and a wee bit frightened. 

“We both know you’re too good for that. How’d you phrase it, you’d be out of your mind if you did such a thing?” You throw his own words back at him, and you watch in some sort of mixture of triumph and heartbreak as realization washes over his features. 

He finally remembers. 

“I…” he swallowed thickly, running a hand through his hair as it fell out of his face, rubbing at his jaw as you looked at you from beneath his lashes, “I didn’t…” but he can’t finish his sentences and instead stops, sharing an unreadable look with his sister as they then look at you. 

“I’m going home.” You say after a beat of silence, breathing deeply through your nose as you look away from the two of them. 

“Let me-” Satoru started but you raised a hand to stop him. 

“I think I’d be better off alone.” You snap, nostrils flaring as you shake your head, pinching the bridge of your nose as you try to stop the already impending migraine that is about to come. 

For once in your life, you didn’t care about the eyes boring into your back or the way that whispers flew around you and twisted around your throat like a vine. You were glad that nobody else other than the servants was home as you ran up into your room, locking everybody else out as you sobbed into your pillows. 

---

The days following your (well-deserved) outburst were more than rough. 

To your knowledge, Lily has visited a total of ten times in the past five days, sometimes twice in the same one, while her brother has visited a grand total of zero. You didn’t expect much from him, but this really cemented your quickly growing disdain. 

Your mother informed you constantly that she was trying to put out the fires from that night but you couldn’t bring it to feel too bad, after all, you were glad that you didn’t say anything more drastic. 

“This is just so unlike you!” She cried, shaking in disappointment as you munched on some sweets you nicked from the kitchen. 

“I know,” you chuckled, “I’m so proud of myself.”

She just throws her hands in the air as a sign of utterly giving up and storms out of the room, most likely to meet with somebody else to “clean up the mess.”

She was right for some part, you can’t remember the last time you actually told somebody how you were feeling. It’s not healthy on your end, but growing up with three older sisters who always got it their way meant that you had some lack of backbone. 

Lily and Satoru, as much as you cared about them, didn’t live like that. Their mother loved them all equally and she made sure that all of their voices were heard. She was always making sure that their priorities were met and she never made them feel inferior. 

Which somehow, didn’t pass on to you. 

Loving the way you do got tiring when you got nothing back, and giving everybody your all when nobody seemed to notice it felt as though you were alone in a world full of people who cared for each other. You’ve read the books and heard the stories, but you eventually realized that it simply just wasn’t in your cards to be dealt the same thing. 

They cared, you know they did. But sometimes, it felt like they expected your care in order for them to show it to you. 

“Miss?” you heard a faint voice and a knock at your door. You sat up from your slump as Ella slowly came inside, shutting the door soundly behind her. 

“Did my mother ask you to make sure I haven’t flung myself off the balcony?” You dust away any crumbs from your pull over as you stare out the window. 

“I’m making sure you didn’t.” 

Your head snapped over at the familiar voice only to see Lily standing at the foot of your bed, looking out of place with her bright purple dress. She looked like she was teetering back and forth between staying out and sprinting away, and you admired her courage after how many times you’ve turned down her offer. 

You glared at Ella but she was no longer there, leaving you and Lily alone. 

“You’re just in time then.” You say blandly, standing up from your bed as you make the covers and are careful not to come too close to her. She seemed to notice. 

“We can’t go about this forever,” she stated, rounding the corner of your bed as she took three steps forward while you took one back, not wanting to be cornered again the way you were that night, “This silent treatment is killing me.”

“Then die,” you don’t mean it and she knows it, but her face wobbles for a second and you watch in horror as tears spring to Lily's eyes. 

The last time Lily cried the two of you were fifteen and her brothers had effectively ruined the singular dress she had actually been looking forward to wearing by staining it with ink. You spent at least an hour calling her down and trying to rationalize with her until you finally gave up and offered to cut holes in all of their suits. 

You’re not sure you could do that now. 

“I’m sorry!” She sprung herself forward at you with full throttle as she hugged you tightly, “You’re right! There’s nothing wrong with being a romantic!” You don’t know what to do as you stand there in shock so you awkwardly pat her back, her long white hair never loose so you’ve never really seen it to its full extent. 

“My brother and I have been at war with each other trying to put the blame on somebody else but I’m sorry! You of all people deserve to find love,” she looks up and her eyes just look like oceans and it’s unfair how pretty she looks when she cries because you just look like a mess, “Please, please forgive me.”

You look as she refuses to pull away from you, clutching desperately onto the thin fabric of your nightgown that your mother reprimanded you for not getting out of, and slowly feel your hands circle around her back as you pull her into a hug. 

“Honestly,” you shake your head as she looks up at you, cheeks rosy with streaks of tears and her lip wobbles violently, “I’m probably going to be on that pact ten years from now. But I just-”

“Want to try!” She finished your sentence for you, something the two of you always prided in being able to do, “and that’s respectable too!”

You try not to smile but the corners of your lips tug upwards as you nod, Lily waiting with bated breath as she scanned your reaction. 

“Don’t ever treat me like that again, you hear me?” 

She vehemently nods, pulling away as she wipes at her eyes, holding out her oinks finger as she waits for you to latch on. Sure, it was a childish way of making a promise, but Lily was never the serious sort of person. If anything, this is the most you’ve ever seen her apologize about something. 

“I promise with the depths of my soul. If I do, brand me with an iron.” Your eyes widen as you go to disagree but she won’t take it. 

“I swear.” She repeats gravely. 

You look at her pinky for another second before you bring yours up, not believing that this is still how the two of you go about making amends. 

“Alright then,” you heave a sigh, “I forgive you.”

Her face breaks into a wide and toothy smile as she pulls you in for a tighter hug, nearly knocking the air out of your lungs as she pulls back away. 

“You’ll never regret this, I swear,” she looked radiant, but quickly stopped as she looked down at the ground, trying to gather her thoughts on how to break the news to you, “Now, be prepared for another one.” 

You blink slowly, brows furrowed in confusion as you lean on your bedpost, arms crossing as your lips purse. 

“What?” 

She almost looks ashamed again, looking at the clock on your wall. 

“My mother’s invited you over for dinner. Get ready to see the other Gojo.”

---

Your mother, as difficult as she was to deal with at most times, somehow understood the concept of showing off through a good wardrobe. 

You wouldn’t put any bets on the fact that if your outfits were significantly better you might have had at least one man approach you in all these years, but it certainly could have been a possibility. 

The cut was lower than all your normal dress, and with the help of your corset, pushed the sisters up a considerable amount. 

The color was the most flattering you’ve ever seen, and through the utilization of crystals and diamonds encrusted in the fabric itself, it shined perfectly when the light hit it. 

For the first time, you were glad your mother picked out your outfit. 

Unfortunately, the outfit gave you only so much confidence. When you walked into the Gojo estate, thankfully with Lily on your side, all the memories from that night came flooding back and your stomach flipped upside down. 

You were glad that Lily was seated next to you at the dinner table as well, but it didn’t help that Satoru was seated in front of you, glaring daggers into your face as you tried to avoid looking at him. 

“Now, you didn’t tell me about your plans for the next year, with the season already coming to an end.” Their mother, bless her heart, asked as she loaded some peas into her fork, looking at you with her kind eyes as you struggled to think of a good enough answer. 

“I’m planning on taking a marriage offer up, actually,” you say, trying not to look at Lily for you knew she was already giggling.

In the past five hours, you filled her in on everything, and she decided the best way to get Satoru to say something was if you went with the idea. 

“Oh?” You watched as she perked up in interest, as did the rest of the Gojo family. An offer? 

“Yes,” you nodded, “Lord Cornwallis, actually, if you’ve heard of him?” 

Lily was gleaming as she saw her brother clench his jaw as he stared at the side of your face that was still looking at their mother. 

“L-lord Cornwallis?” You felt bad for lying to her, but you could just come back later and say you’ve changed your mind, “He must be at least-”

“Ninety-nine?” You answered for her as her cheek warmed, “Some say he’s just in his prime, yes.” 

She drank some of her wine. 

“Isn’t that desperate?” Satoru finally said and you heard a loud clatter from the end of the table as their mother angrily sat her cup down, glaring at her son. 

“Satoru!” She exclaimed, the rest of the girls and boys watching in tense silence as they waited for your reply. 

“It’s alright,” you shrugged, fiddling with the bracelet on your wrist, “And yes, it could come off as desperate. However, I would rather go to a man who finds no problem in courting me rather than somebody who’d tell the whole world just how much it would disgust him to be seen with me.”

You could swear you heard a tooth crack. 

“I’m sorry, am I missing something-” One of the brothers piped up but Satoru acted as if he hadn’t heard him. 

“Well if that man were drunk out of his wits-”

“Then he let his sober thoughts reign free.” You finish for him, nostrils flaring as Satoru twisted the ring on his forefinger back and forth. 

“Again, Miss Gojo, I’m simply thinking over his offer.” You finish, seeing how she could barely take her eyes off of her son as she blinked towards you, giving a shaky smile as she nodded. 

“Of course, there’s no…no problem in that.” She swallowed uncomfortably, as did everybody else. You peeked over at Lily to find her just as you suspected, beaming with silent joy. 

“If you wouldn’t mind, I think my dress has come a bit undone. I’m going to call for somebody to fix it.” You say, excusing yourself as you try to go ahead with the plan you had set in the first place. 

“Make him mad, really mad. Say something about Cornwallis, he despises him,” Lily muttered, sitting cross-legged on your bed as she urged you to listen to her directions, “Then excuse yourself. Say you’ve got to use the privy or something, doesn’t matter.”

You nodded, listening intently as she laid it on thick for what she had been picking up on for the past couple of days. 

“Go upstairs and find his room, you know where it is. Be quick with it too, but there’s this box on his desk that’s full of letters. I swear on my Austen collection that there is a letter with your name on it.”

You felt your heart tumble. 

“Are you sure?” You asked, glancing at the clock to make sure you wouldn’t be late to dinner. 

“Positive. And I’d get it if I could, but he’s so secretive with his room that this is probably the one time it’s going to be unlocked. He’d never suspect anybody going snooping at this hour.”

You grinned, knowing that if you finally got that little something to use against him, he’d have no choice but to grovel at your feet for the rest of his life. 

You quickly scampered up the stairs, telling one of their mates that you’d be able to fix your dress on your own and that you’d be stashed away in Lily's room for the time being, and mentally times yourself as you quickly paced through the halls, looking for the familiar dark oak that would be Satoru’s room. 

Just when you were about to get lost in their maze of a house, you stopped triumphantly behind the last door at the end of the hall, staring deeply at it as you weighed your options. 

You quickly caved, slowly reaching out to the doorknob to see if it was locked. 

It swung open, and you let out a sigh of relief and looked around a final time to make sure that nobody had followed you before you fully let yourself inside. 

It was dark, and you left the door slightly open so that the light from the halls could sleep in a bit, and you went to work on locating the box on his desk that Lily had described to you. 

You squint your eyes, wincing as you bumped into furniture as you made your way to the corner of the large room, blindly reaching and grabbing for anything on the mahogany desk that would resemble a box. 

You let out a sound of triumph as you found a square-shaped glass-feeling thing filled to the brim with papers, holding it upwards to the sliver of light as you quickly ran through the letters with your fingers and you tried to find one with your name on it. 

They seemed like they were all unsent, with many of them labeled to his mother or siblings, and a few to his friends, but you didn’t find any of them labeled to you, and you quickly felt your heart and hopes sink. This was taking far too long.

Just as you were about to give up, you passed a smaller shaped letter with cursive that looked familiar, in the sense that you had seen it addressed before, and pulled it out only to see your name staring back at you. 

A part of you almost wanted to sink into the chair behind the desk, your heart beating rapidly in the small vastness of your ribcage as you held it back up to the light, seeing a note tucked neatly away through the transparency of the envelope. 

Your nimble fingers went to rip the seal of wax off, but stopped as the door swung open. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Satoru stood at the doorway, blocking the rest of the light as his shadow cast over you. 

You dropped the letter, quickly hiding it behind your back as he stepped in, getting closer to you as you abruptly stood up, trying to come up with a feasible lie as you rounded away from his desk, trying to get away from him and his massive build. 

“Oh?” You looked around as if suddenly realizing this wasn’t the place you were supposed to be, “Is this not Lily’s room? Silly me, I couldn’t make it out in the dark. I’ll be leaving now if you’ll excuse me…” You turned around, brushing past him but stopping when you felt his long fingers circle your wrist, turning you around as his eyes squinted. 

“Bullshit,” you flinched, never having heard him curse before as his hands felt around yours, finding the letter you were doing a terrible job of hiding, “You know this house better than your own. Why the hell are you in my room?” 

You didn’t say anything as he brought your hand out from behind your back, opening up your closed fist with much ease to reveal the crumpled-up envelope. Your chest heaved up and down, waiting with bated breath as he stared silently at the letter. You balled your fists back up again, stepping away from him as he followed you quickly in your footsteps. 

“Give that to me y/n,” his voice was low and commanding, unlike anything you’ve ever heard before, and if you weren't in your rebellious mood (and somewhat in your independent, not totally in-love-with-him mood) you would have caved, but you shook your head, looking behind you as to make sure you didn’t back into his bed frame. 

“It’s got my name on it.” You argued, knowing it was a terrible excuse, and you watched him chuckle darkly, knowing that you had no good reason for being in his room and sifting through his letters. 

“And yet it was in my room, in my letterbox, on my desk.” He snapped, eyes a deep blue and different from the usual lightness they carried. He wasn’t joking and he wasn’t lying, he needed that letter back. 

Which just made you want it even more. 

You didn’t know what to do, so the only logical thing in your sporadic mind was to shove it down your dress, hiding it in your chest as Satoru watched your movements like a hawk, not saying anything as you defiantly showed him your now empty hands. 

“Get it now Satoru,” you challenged him, not realizing you had backed up into the wall until your head lightly bounced off from it, wincing at the sting as you looked back behind you. 

He didn’t say anything, and it seemed like his mind was running as quickly as it could as he tried to deal with whatever it was you were doing. Instead, he just three more languid steps forward, nearly face to face with you as he stared down at you, eyes darting from yours to your lips and chest. 

Under any other circumstances, you would have felt like shedding your clothes off from how heated you felt under his gaze. Here, your only resort was to keep them on, to see what was so important about that letter. 

“I came to find you to apologize,” his voice is low and calm, his cool breath hitting your cheek as you struggle to keep your composure, “To be civil. To tell you that I didn’t mean anything I said that night.” 

Despite your mixed emotions, you felt your brows furrow at his select choice of words. 

“Are you here to tell me now that you actually meant every word?” You couldn’t stop the words as they tumbled out of your mouth, knowing that the answer would probably send you into a state you could never get out of as the person you’ve loved for the majority of your life confirms your biggest fears.

But shockingly, he just shakes his head, his lips pink and plush and you’ve never found yourself focusing on them more than you are now. 

If only you knew that he felt the same as he looked at you. 

“No,” he stepped closer, if possible, but still had room to shove him away. But you didn’t, not now, you couldn’t, didn’t want to as his nose nudged yours a bit, your lashes fluttering against your cheek as your lips parted, waiting for him to do something, 

“I’ll show you that I didn’t mean them.”

You couldn’t breathe, your lungs contracting as his face fell towards yours, your lips meeting ever so slowly as they finally landed on yours, soft and somehow delicate as they pushed against yours, finalizing the kiss as he began to move them. 

You’ve never kissed anybody before, often dreaming about it as you lay in bed hopelessly in love, but never thought you’d be here from the man you’ve imagined on the other side doing it with him. 

He moved slowly as if he knew that this was your first time, and you didn’t know how to handle your emotions as he angled his chin to get closer to you, his lips capturing you in such a heated and feverish pace that you knew you weren’t going to be able to sleep tonight as you thought back on it. 

His hands slowly came up to your waist, tugging you flush against his body as your hands somehow found their way behind his neck, finger curling into his long strands of arctic white as he groaned against you when you tugged a bit, the sound coming from deep within his chest. 

You were impatient, always have been, and it probably took him a little bit by surprise as you quickened the pace, hungry after so many years of starving for this as you pushed against him for more fervor, feeling him smile slightly against your lips as he met you in the middle, fingers digging into the fabric of your dress as you whined slightly as the feeling. 

He nipped at your lips, his tongue poking out from in between yours, and you absentmindedly opened your mouth a little bit to make room for him, heart and mind working in tandem as he brought up a hand to cradle the back of your head, making sure it didn’t hit the wall as he pushed against you. 

It was messy and hurried, and for once, it felt as if he felt the same you were feeling. As if he too wanted this, needed this more than air itself, and that thought alone made your mind stop functioning. 

Your hands moved from his neck to his chest, fingers clutching onto the satin fabric of his suit, wrinkling the fabric as your noses bumped against each other, sheer desperation showing from the two of you. 

“Viscount Gojo?” 

The two of you almost jumped at the knock that sounded from the door. 

“Your mother is asking where you are. She’s worried about the lady as well,” Fred didn’t peek his head in, and for that you were grateful. You were sure you looked like a total mess at the moment, but Satoru spoke, glancing at the door as he took a deep breath, almost as if it was his first time breathing in a couple of minutes. 

“Tell her that we’re working things out. It’ll take a bit more time.” His voice sounded steady enough, but from where you were standing you could see how swollen his lips were, the fact that they were red and glistening with sweat. His hand on your waist tightened as if he didn’t want to let you go, and your hand lay flat against his chest.

“Of course,” Fred answered, “Take your time.” He shut the door completely, and the two of you waited until you heard his footsteps becoming softer and softer until you could no longer hear them. 

You waited, looking in the direction for another second before you looked up at him only to see his eyes gauging yours for a reaction, somehow a storm going on behind them as he battled twenty different emotions. 

“I’m still hurt Satoru,” you whisper, his eyes never changing but his shoulders tense a bit as you drop your hands away from him, as if you were suddenly coming to your senses and realizing what you had just done, “I can't forgive you this easily.”

You don’t know how to handle your feelings sometimes, and sometimes they catch up to you later than they should. You could still hear his words from that night ringing around your mind and nothing was stopping it no matter how hard you tried. 

“Come get the letter when you’re ready to apologize with more than just your lips.” 

You look back up at him one more time before you push away, feeling him lightly move away from you to give you space as you smooth out the front of your dress, touching your face to make sure that none of the makeup and powder that was swiped against your face wasn’t wrecked as you left. 

You don’t look back as you left him silently in his room, shutting the door behind you as you stopped, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves as you went back down to dinner. 

---

A week passed since your night with Satoru, and you’ve come to terms with the fact that he regrets it. 

It hurts, it hurts even more when you convince yourself that he probably was trying to take pity on you and test how true his old words were, but you couldn’t spiral, knowing that it would cause even more turmoil. 

Lily came by regardless, under the impression that you and her brother made up and are on better terms, and you're in no rush to tell her the truth of what happened. 

She asked about the note, but you insisted that you couldn’t find it. She grumbled that he probably threw it away after she pestered him constantly about it. 

“What about Lord Balfour?” She was sprawled out on your bed, her legs crossed resting it up against the wall with her head at the opposite end, looking on a piece of parchment in which she had gone around asking for men looking for marriage (and a true romantic connection, she stressed). 

“Hm, too bald,” you said, sitting in your vanity, washing off the rest of the powder on your face as you dipped the soft cotton cloth back into the pitcher of water as you looked at her through the mirror, “Isn’t he a year younger than us?”

She pouted as she thought, looking back to her list as she crossed off that name. 

“Count Alexei?” She seemed to like this one and you set your towel down, trying to place a face to the name. 

“Isn’t he from Russia? Wouldn’t it be difficult for him to come back and forth?”  You asked and she nodded, although she seemed more sad that you didn’t want him. 

“Have you just gone around the ton asking if anybody’s looking for marriage?” You teased and she turned around, sitting up as she wiped the hair out of her face. 

“I take your journey to find true love very serious,” she argued and you snorted, knowing that it was a kid if that and the fact that she liked judging the men of the higher class, “Are you complaining?”

“No, of course not.” You turn around from your chair as you face her, urging her to continue. 

“Duke Cambell?” She looked up from the list with a raised brow, only to find you looking the same, taking more time to consider the name. 

“He explicitly stated he’d consider marriage? With me?” You tilt your head to the side. Surely it would be too good to be true. He wasn’t too pretty, nobody was like Satoru, but he wasn’t that bad to look at either. 

“He seemed quite eager about it, actually.” She said, and you smiled a bit, feeling like a silly schoolgirl with the way you ducked your head. 

“He’s a bit shy, isn’t he?” You said with a little giggle and she snorted, nodding as she circled his name and put a question mark next to it. 

“Just means he’s more apt to moan louder,” she said blandly and your mouth dropped, burrowing your face in your hands at her very open nature. Even after ten years it sometimes caught you off guard. 

“Lily!” You shouted, trying to hold in your laugh, and she just looked at you as if you should have expected this as she rose from your bed, stretching her arms above her head as she let out a frantic yawn. 

The sun had already set and she knew her mother would be expecting her to arrive soon, and you went to stand but stopped you. 

“No need to stand, I’ll bid farewell from here.” 

You rolled your eyes at her dramatics, picking up the cloth again as you dabbed at your cheeks. 

“I assume you’ll be here tomorrow?” Crossing your legs as she shrugged as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. 

“Yes. In fact, I’ll leave this prized list with you so that you can mull it over,” she walked over a bit and set it down on the top of your vanity, looking at you as she put a solemn hand on your shoulder, “Do think over Count Alexis. He is rather dreamy.” 

You chuckled, waving goodbye to her as she left the door with a litter thud, blowing kisses as you snorted at her exaggerated act, turning back around to your mirror as you wiped away the remaining bits of your makeup. 

You were already in your dressing gown, the material soft and light on your skin as you set the cloth back down, drying your face off with another one as you got ready to sleep. 

With meticulous care you took your earrings off and began to work on your necklace but struggled with the finicky clasp, your thumb slipping just as you were about to get it. You let out a quick groan of frustration, shutting your eyes as you tried not to lose your temper over a necklace.

“Do you need help with that?” 

You were getting better at controlling your reactions, but your eyes snapped over to the top of your mirror as he stood there, shutting the door behind him. Your hands fell to your lap as you silently seethed. 

Ella was never going to hear the end of it. 

You said nothing and he quietly walked over to where you sat with your back to him, opting to look at him through your mirror as his slender fingers slowly came up to your neck. 

“I’m getting rid of my maid.” You mutter eyes dropped to your lap as you try to control your breath as his fingertips touch your delicate skin, gingerly getting to work of undoing the clasp. He didn’t say anything and the only sound that filled the room was your slow little puffs of air, trying to get your pulse to stop from doing the strange rhythmic beating it always did when you were around him, as if he somehow became the conductor of your heart. 

You heard a small click and the necklace became undone, and he gathered it in his palm as he set it down next to your little trinkets, dropping his hands from your shoulder as his cerulean eyes found yours once again, and you looked away, his deep stare burning through yours. 

“Don’t,” his voice came out rough as if he hadn’t made much use of it for a while, “She’s always turned me away when I came asking for you. I weasled my way through her right now, almost blew my cover when Lily was leaving.” 

Oh.

“I’m over it.” No, you weren’t, but you wouldn’t admit that out loud.

You opened up the drawer to the left of you, moving some little cases of jewelry around as you found the letter you had hidden away as you brought it out, setting it on the desk as you stood from your chair, pushing it back in as you faced him, “Take it. I didn’t read it.” Despite how much you wanted to, you just couldn’t bring yourself to stoop that low and read through something he didn’t want you to see. 

He glanced over at the letter and then at you, taking the letter with careful movements as he found the letter opener scattered on your desk, ripping through the wax as he opened it up, passing the envelope back to you. 

“Read it.” 

You certainly weren’t expecting that. 

“What?” You couldn’t blink, looking at his outstretched hand that held the very thing that had been bothering you as if it was nothing, “I don’t-” 

“Go on,” he urged quietly, his voice caught in the back of his throat, “Read it out loud. Please.” 

You looked at him once more to make sure he wasn’t going crazy before you gently took it from his hands, your fingers brushing past each other as you opened it up, taking out the letter as you unfolded it, taking a deep breath as you prepared yourself for the worst. 

“I’m terrible at writing letters, you should know,” you start, squinting as you move closer to your candle so that you can read it better, “And you should know that I’ve written this twenty other times. I have-

“Twenty balled-up pieces of paper next to me,” Satoru finished the sentence, not looking at the letter once as he read it from memory, “If only you could see the mess,” he paused, his hands shaking a bit as he continued, “I apologize for not sending as many letters to you as I should, but aside from my travels which have proven to do nothing other than make me regret leaving, I only have one other thing left to tell you. 

“I love you. I’m in love with you. I thought that it would do me some good to leave and get some time to think about how bad it would be if I said out loud that I was in love with the girl who’s my sister's best friend, but I’ve simply gone mad over needing to see you again. I’m in Paris, which is coincidentally the city of love but I’ve grown bitter and resentful over the fact that the woman I love is an ocean away from me. I can’t do it anymore. No, scratch that, no, I can’t do this other letter…” 

“...It’s too pathetic. You’re worth more than this.” You concluded, reading along because you couldn’t be yourself to look up at him, knowing that you simply would break apart and couldn’t take it as you heard the three words you’ve wanted to hear from the man that you never thought would say them. 

You looked at the paper, eyes scanning each word again as you let out a heavy sigh, feeling like you were living in a dream that was wrapping its arms slowly around you and whisking you away. 

“That night, I projected. I don’t know why I said what I said, I just know that thinking it over told me everything I needed to know and I acted like a coward and a fool and I hurt you when really, I love you. I love you, I’ve never stopped. I burn for you, and I always will.” He whispered, his eyes wet with unshed tears as he cleared his throat, wiping at his nose as he sniffled. 

You’ve never seen him like this, exposed and raw. But you knew that you mirrored his emotions, knew that you were in the same state that he was for he carefully brought his hand up to your cheek, wiping a tear away as he cupped your face in his hands. 

“I know that it would be too much to ask for your forgiveness, but please, I don’t know how much longer I can go without at least seeing your face, hearing your voice, your laugh, you’re kind, kind heart.” His hands trailed down your face, down your arms, and your waist, settling on your hips as he ducked his head downward, tears sliding down the curve of his nose as he did something unexpected. 

The Viscount Gojo Satoru began to kneel. 

You froze, looking down in shock as he bowed his head in shame and apology. 

“‘Toru, please, I,” your voice broke and you quickly wiped your tears away, taking his hands that were sprawled out across your waist as you held them, not knowing how to handle this display of vulnerability as you gently made him look up at you, “Just tell me one thing.” 

His thumb caressed the back of your hand, giving a soft nod as he whispered; “anything,” and his hand moved up your waist, holding your back as your hands unknowingly went to his hair, moving it away from his face as your fingers twirled and played with his white strands, basking in the sense of having him at his knees for you. 

“Why did you wait so long to come back?” Your voice is barely audible as it cracks, a year of missing him and ten years of longing for him coming out as he shakes his head, almost as if he was more remorseful about it than you could ever imagine, and he shifted so that he wasn’t resting on his ankles anymore, digging deep into his pocket as he brought out a little box. 

“I went back to Japan. I was trying to find this little ring my father gave my mother back when he started to pine after her,” he opened up the box, a delicately cut blue diamond rind resting on a thin gold band stared back at you, shining in the candlelight, “I wanted to give it to you as a promise…” and he trailed off, a blush spreading across his cheeks as he suddenly became a bit embarrassed, pocketing the box again as he looked back up at you. 

“What was the promise?” You can barely hear your words over the thumping of your heart. 

He swallows, slowly coming to standing back up, never losing his hold on you, clutching onto your thin nightgown as if it was the only thing grounding him to reality. 

“That I’d marry you one day.” He whispered back, his voice hushed as if he didn’t want them to escape the vicinity of your room, this shared space between the two of you in which you stripped each other bare to the soul, only the find that they longed to be in each other's place even when they were miles apart. 

Just as he did so many nights ago, he leaned closer to you, giving you time and space to push him away, to yell, to scream, but you didn’t, nudging his nose with yours as your lips found each other, this time quick and rough and not wanting to be patient because there was no room for such a thing. 

He let out a small groan as you tugged on the hairs at the back of his nape, pushing you further down until your back hit one of your windows, feeling the cool night air from the glass as it traveled through the thin cotton of your slip

It seemed like something in him was finally let go, and you as well, and everything came tumbling down in the best way possible. 

It was so messy and rushed and desperate that you felt like you were going to faint, the air from your lungs being stolen by his hungry and greedy lips as he pushed back roughly against you, needing to taste you, feel you, or else he simply wouldn’t make it. 

Satoru tapped the back of your thighs, urging you to wrap your legs around his torso as you pulled away slightly, questioning him as he scoffed at your doubt. 

“I spent a year getting bigger and stronger for you,” he murmurs against your lips, “and the first thing you said when you saw me was oh. Come on,” he nipped at your lips, his boyish and charming smile growing when you whimpered, “Test me out.” 

You gave in, standing on your toes as you did what he asked, and you let out a little laugh of surprise at how he wasted no time wrapping his arms tightly around your waist as he smirked, going away from the ball as he led you to your bed, basking in the sound of your twinkling laughter as you admired him in all his glory. 

“I shouldn’t have doubted you,” you tease and he snorts, fixing your gown as he hovers above you. He was huge, so much bigger than you anticipated in your imagination, but it was so much better than you ever could have thought. 

“I’d never lie to you,” he promised, pressing another chaste kiss to your lips that left you breathless as he continued downwards, pressing kisses down your jaw, and your neck, spending time as he sucked at one of your vital points, enjoying the way you sounded like you had run a marathon. 

He looks stunning here; his lips look bruised and swollen, pink and wet with spit. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of your body, and if you weren’t crazy about how he looked at you, you would’ve shielded yourself away in embarrassment. 

But he didn’t give you any time to think it over, pushing past your loose nightgown as he pressed delicate pecks to your shoulders and upper chest region, looking up at you to make sure it was okay to continue. 

You quickly nodded, eager to see what he was going to do. 

“Mind if I take this off?” He asks, tugging at the ends of it as you look at him from beneath your lashes, trying to feel indifferent as you shrug, but the way you smile giddily gives away just how badly you want him to. 

“I wouldn’t mind.” You help him move it upwards, your arms coming out from the sleeves as the chilly air hits your naked skin, and you suddenly realize just how out in the open you are compared to him. 

Out of second nature, you go to cover your chest but he tsks, gently pushing your hands away as he eyes your breasts, looking like he had just come back from staring at the sistine chapel with the way he looks at you. 

Your nipples harden from how cold it was, and he slowly dips his head down to one of your tits, kissing the soft and supple skin as he inches closer to your bud, finally latching his mouth onto it as you throw your head back, arching your back into his lips as he sucks like his life depends on it. 

“S-shit, ‘Toru, so good,” you mewl, wrapping your hands around his neck as he flattens his tongue against your nipple, his teeth grazing the sensitive area as you whine even louder, not seeming to care if anybody outside your door could hear. 

His other hand lathes onto your other one, not wanting to leave her unattended as he pinches your nipple between his two fingers, twisting it just enough to make you shut your eyes at how good the attention feels. 

“Let me hear you,” he groans into your skin, looking up at you as you try to cover up your mouth with your hand, “I’ll stop if you cover up that pretty mouth of yours.” 

You simply nod, leaving your shaky hand to grip your bed sheets as he switches his mouth and hand with each other, giving you different sensations to wrap your hands around as you feel a deep part of your pulse, needing more of him. 

“‘Toru, please,” your voice comes out shaky as he releases your tit with a pop, his hands going down to hold onto your hips as you bring his chin up for another kiss of swapping spit with him, growing to appreciate the lewdness of it all as you lay feather light kisses on his jawline, feeling him shudder beneath you, “Wan’ more.” 

At any other time, he would have drawn this out, would have teased and prodded at you to use your words, to tell him where you needed him most, but he couldn’t wait with you, wanting to have a taste of you himself. 

So his wolfish grin comes back, his hand traveling down your stomach, stopping just above your mound as he cocks a brow at the way you seem to grow impatient, reaching the place you seemed to have in mind. 

“Here?” He asked quietly, his pointer finger moving to find your clit as you let out a quiet gasp, his expert fingers having nothing on your inexperienced ones. Sure you’ve touched yourself deep into the night when you made sure everybody was asleep, but it never felt like this. 

You couldn’t speak, so you nodded again, and that seemed to be good enough for Satoru as his finger moved down to your lips, a deep groan coming from within his chest as he felt how wet you were, and prodded his finger at your tight walls, slowly pushing past them as he seemed to be in a trance. 

You sucked him in so delightfully, pulsing against his as your slick stained his finger, making it easier for him to fuck you with a little bit more pace, careful not to hurt you, as he brought it back up to circle at your clit, trying to find what places you liked to be teased most. 

“O-oh my god,” your eyes rolled back in your head as his long find pushed back against your gummy walls, his other thumb finding your nub as you whined even louder, not used to feeling this good, spreading your legs out even further as you tried to make room for him. 

“There you go, s’perfect,” he said against your skin, dipping down as he moved a hand to keep your thighs further apart, “Mind if I have a taste?” And you were in another dimension, just cradling his neck as you pushed him to go further. 

He chuckled darkly, nearly going insane as he neared your glistening pussy, eyes growing dark as he moved his fingers away so that his tongue could have its turn, and you swore you almost came right there. 

He licked gingerly, savoring you first as he groaned, his thumb never giving up on circling and massaging your clit, but he began to eat you out as his life depended on it, licking and sucking like you were his last meal. 

“‘Toru, ‘Toru, fuck!” You screamed, biting your lip harshly as you kept your finger tight around his hair, “Don’t stop, please!” 

“F-fuck,” he murmured, coming up for a quick breath as he looked at you from his long white lashes, “Fucking kill me if I ever stop, okay?” 

He goes back in with the same amount of fervor, your chest moving up and down as you arch into his mouth, your jaw going slack as you quickly feel that rope in your stomach tightening, embarrassed at coming so early but knowing that there was no way you could stop yourself with the way he fingered you out at the same time he ate you out. 

“I’m yours,” he said against your skin, “I’ll always be yours.” It was out of place, but it seemed like he was branding it into your skin so that everybody else knew, knew that he belonged solely to you.

It was too much, and you felt like you were slowly losing your ability to think, talk, or do anything, and the only thing you could feel was him, and you felt it all coming to a crescendo as his mouth latched onto your clit, letting it all go as you came into his mouth. 

“‘M c-coming, mmmm fuck!” You couldn’t even believe the sounds you were making as you clenched around his finger, your essence coating his chin and hand as your legs were trembling, glad that he held a stable hand on your waist. 

You saw white for a couple of seconds, taking even longer to catch your breath, your tits rising and falling with each heave, and you suddenly felt like you came back down to earth, peeking out from an eye to see Satoru smiling down at you, his face soft and you whined in shock at what just happened, hiding your face into one of your pillows as he laughed lowly, the sound dripping down your ears like warm honey. 

“You just came around me, no need to be modest now.” He gently moved your face away from the sanctuary of your pillow so that you could look at him again, and he leaned down, pressing one final kiss to your lips, letting you taste yourself on him as you let out a muffled moan. 

“How do you feel?” He asked as he pulled away, sitting on his haunches, letting you drape the blanket around your sweaty chest as you tried to sit up, shaking a bit as you tried to recover from your mind-breaking orgasm. 

“Good,” you say groggily, wiping at your eyes as you give him a lazy, languid smile, “Really good.” 

“Yeah?” He asks, chuckling as you nod, finding his hands as you play with his long fingers, and he lets you watch as you let them entangle with each other, somehow feeling more connected through this than the previous activity as you slowly pull him back down towards you, wanting nothing more than to curl into his chest. 

“Give me a second love,” he wanted the same thing, but he pulled away, “Let me clean you up.” 

You didn’t fight it and let him go, watching as he found the pitcher of water on your desk as he found a clean rag and wet it, coming back to your bed until his eyes caught something under the sheets. 

He picked it up, reading it as he sat down next to you, running the cold towel across your thighs as you let out a little whimper at the temperature. He pressed an apologetic kiss to your forehead as he turned the paper around in silent questioning. 

Your eyes widened, trying to take it away but he held it above your head. If you had more fight in you, you might have wrestled for it, but you gave up, letting him clean you up as he tried not to laugh at how measly it was. 

“I doubt Cambell would know how to make you come.” He finally says, throwing the rag away somewhere as you groan, pushing his face slowly away as you try to fight the giddy laugh that was going to bubble its way from your chest. 

“Stop! Lily was just trying to help!” You argue and he waves his hands, loosening the buttons of his tunic as he crawls in next to you, pulling you flush against him as he kisses the tip of your nose. 

“It’s fine love,” he nestles his nose in your hairline, smiling when you hitch a leg over his, “You’re mine now.” 

You look up at him, tracing over his features with the light touch of your fingertips as he leans into your warmth. 

“Do you promise?” 

He gives a single nod, sliding the delicate ring over your finger, and closes his hand around yours. 

“Promise.” 

[elumish]

In the wake of what's going on in the world, I see a lot of rhetoric that basically boils down to the idea that everyone has a responsibility to watch every bad thing that's going on in the world all the time. That awareness itself is a responsibility that everyone has always.

I'm not going to say that people do or don't have a responsibility to be aware of things, but I want to talk about how to take care of yourself and others while doing so.

For some context, I spent close to a year and a half reading about every terrorist attack in the world as part of my work on the Global Terrorism Database. It was 2015/2016, so this was the height of ISIS/Daesh, it was a major time for Boko Haram, and it was when there was a lot of political violence that we weren't sure how to classify in places like Yemen, Crimea, and Libya (stuff the GTD didn't know how to classify had all of is information recorded, and then it went into purgatory until someone above my paygrade decided what to do with it). What this means is that I was spending 10-20 hours a week reading about hundreds or thousands of attacks a month and, in my case, recording infomation about the type of attack and the type of weapon. Much of my life was reading terrible things.

Limit what you do in isolation. One of the worst changes for me during that time, mental health-wise (even though it was great for my commute) was when I went from working in-person to working remotely. With other people, there are ways to diffuse the pain. A burden shared is a burden halved and all that. That may mean talking about it, or joking about it, or finding some other way to engage with it that isn't just reading about the most horrible things in the world and then stewing in your own thoughts about them.

Find something to do that's totally unrelated. I highly recommend finding something to do with your hands, if you can (knitting, Lego, cooking, whatever), but regardless of what it is, you should have some time when you entirely switch away to something different. During a fair amount of my time with the GTD, I was also doing my undergrad thesis about terrorism on TV, so a huge amount of my life was about terrorism in some way. The only other thing I watched was Great British Bake Off, and I would just rewatch the episodes, over and over.

Be compassionate about how you share information and with whom. Use trigger warnings, and consider using consistent tagging on places like Tumblr so people can blacklist it if they need to. Also consider whether it's appropriate or necessary to share photos of bodies or other results of horrible violence. What is it accomplishing, to show that? Can that goal be accomplished other ways that don't require the equivalent of jumpscares of unexpected photos of dead or brutalized people? Are you just showing it because you think that everyone should have to see it? If you are showing it, are there ways to mitigate against harm it may do?

Do what you can to avoid an echo chamber. Sometimes, when everyone around you is upset or angry about the same thing, it just amplifies itself, and you all get angrier and more upset in perpetuity without accomplishing anything.

Work towards action. Watching terrible things happen for the sake of saying that you haven't looked away isn't as meaningful as taking action in some way. Write to your Congressperson. Donate. Do whatever is appropriate for the thing you want to stop. But penance via watching terrible things happen doesn't accomplish anything.

Recognize compassion fatigue and do what you can to mitigate it. If you spend long enough doing this, you start to lose context, and you start to become less able to have compassion about things. If you're reading about attacks with dozens or hundreds of deaths regularly, five can start to not seem like that many. If you're reading only about the worst suffering in the world, "lesser" suffering of those around you can start to seem unimportant and petty. Do what you can to mitigate that.

Be kind to yourself. You do nobody any good if you burn out. Look away, if you need to. Take a break. Do things so you can enjoy life, because otherwise you are just another person suffering in the world. Other people's pain isn't a hair shirt for you to wear.

[nc-vb]

DONT FORGET ROT FOR THE MALE MOANING AUDIOS

My dear, I'm going to use this ask of yours as a catalyst... All of my personal favourite ASMRs, vids, etcetera... beneath the cut. Not all of them are only male moaning! Literally just all my faves I've collected LOL.

Links will not only be audios; a majority of them are videos.

Links will be from any of the following: Twitter, the Hub, Audiomack, Soundgasm, and likely other sites, so be prepared because they're not labeled, lol. And sorry if any of the links are repeated; my bad.

BUT YES, THE MALE MOANING AUDIOS UGH 😮‍💨

BLUE TEXT MEANS NEW LINKS HAVE BEEN ADDED.

Links with sparkles are my personal faves.

Edited, more added July 21, 2023

CerberosVA Now, if y'all like your man extremely vocal, if you like whimpering, or lowkey, you like the whole subby bf thing, PLEASE, THIS MAN, I cannot recommend his shit enough. He's on twt, the hub, probably the mack; please support his official work on Patreon, if you can.

x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x

softxwarm (hub) This guy does both asmr and stuff with his girlfriend, but his solo ASMRs are pretty coo'. I'll just share my top three since you can just sift through his videos, anyway.

one (video; solo) | two (video; solo) | three (video; solo)

moonxx911 (twt) ANYTHING by this man. I won't even both being specific; I listen to his shit on repeat, rotated.

Akiradubs (hub) He mostly does character dub audios, but he has some simpler ones that I enjoy, like this one.

one (audio, gn!; sub male, ig?)

RedactedASMR I haven't gotten so deep into the lore of it, but Redacted has a whole series of ASMRs that tell long ass stories, so if you have the time, I recommend searching him out. I believe most of them are on YouTube? Personally, Lasko is my favourite (he's so cute with the stuttering, ughhhh). I'm just going to link my personal Redacted playlist I've started, rather than link specific ones. You can find him on more platforms, but I don't think his n/sfw ASMRs are on Youtube... idk.

ncvb RedactedASMR playlist (the mack)

SeikyuuVA (hub; also on the mack) Look, Seikyuu isn't everyone's flavour... there's only a couple specific ones I enjoy, just because he really goes over the top with the sounds and aggression sometimes, LMAO, and it gives me second hand embarrassment...

Lxvesickk (twt) Just found him, hehe. Just listen…

WickLuvsU (twt) His audios are... immaculate.

X | X (play these both at the same time... you're welcome.)

Video Links, general

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 ✨ | 19 | 20

21 | 22 ✨ | 23 ✨ | 24 | 25 ✨ | 26 | 27 | 28 ✨ | 29 ✨| 30 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 ✨| 36 ✨| 37 | 38 | 39 ✨| 40 ✨

41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 (mmf✨)| 46 (aud✨)|

Video Links, mlm

I had to put these links in a separate post because I reached Tumblr's 100 link-per-post limit? Didn't know that was a thing. So, please find them here! There's about 80+ links.

Video Links, wlw

1 | 2 | 3

Characters Like, the fake dubs. I dunno what they're called.

Hanma Shuji (hub, audio; Akiradubs) Zhongli (hub, audio; Akiradubs) Akira/Joker (hub, audio; Seikyuu) Take this Audiomack link, too; it's my other personal playlist that has a shit ton of character ASMR dubs on it, and then some...

I'll have more to add along the way; keep an eye on the update date!

[madschiavelique]

hii i love your work!

i was wondering if you could write a sensitive fem!reader x Miguel O’Hara x Peter B smut? peter is like a soft dom and miguel is a hard dom?

miguel of course says something a little to mean while fucking her from behind, and she starts to cry and peter is all like “miguel, you made her cry”

thank you 🙏🏼

OMG anon you don't know what this did to me

you just provoked my new addiction : i want to write so much more miguel x reader x peter now i'm OBSESSED (also tumblr was kinda bugging while i tried doing this post so i hope things will be alright fdvfbsef - and this is not proofread :D)

summary : miguel made you cry because he was mean as you were eiffel towered by him and Peter B.

content warnings : SMUT (18+) minors dni, hard dom!miguel o'hara, soft dom!peter b. parker, reader being eiffel towered (i'm french and feeling very patriotic on this one🥖), miguel being a bit too mean, overstimulation, pnv sex, sodomy, no use of Y/N word count : 1,2k

tag list : @fandom-ash

You whimpered once more, your whole body feeling electric and tired at the same time as you sank down shakily. Miguel was behind you, his warm breath landing on your ear as you felt his torso bulge against your back. Peter was facing you, kissing your shoulder as your breasts pressed against his chest.

You couldn't tell the time any more, whether it had been an hour or more that they were fucking you without stopping. Many orgasms had been reached, and your body was floating in this cloud of overstimulation. You were exhausted, at the end of your rope, with barely enough energy to lift your body and sink on both of their dicks buried in you.

Needing to regain your strength and rest both your thighs and your whole body, which had been in orgasmic succession, you rested for a moment, not moving as their two cocks stayed all warm in you.

"Did I say you could stop?" Miguel grunted against your back, his teeth grazing your skin as his hand rested on your thighs and squeezed your flesh between his massive fingers.

You let out a moan, your head falling back to rest in the crook of Miguel's neck.

"I can't," you breathed shakily, "it's too much."

You could feel the electricity coursing through your thighs, your body on fire, absolutely exhausted by the effort that had been required of you from the start.

"Come on sweetheart," Peter encouraged, caressing your cheek as he waited for you to continue. "You can do this."

You inhaled harshly, pressing down on your trembling thighs to rise again and continue. The knot forming in your body stretched from your lower stomach to the small of your back. The overload of sensation was heightening your sensitivity to the limit, both physically and mentally.

Your legs were tired, trying to bury yourself properly on them. One of your hands had found its place on Peter's shoulder, the other holding Miguel's thigh and allowing you to hold on better as you went back and forth.

"Is that the best you can do?" Miguel grumbled against your ear, both your faces covered in a light sheen of sweat.

One of his hands went to your hip, digging his fingers into your skin as he pushed even deeper and you let out a moan. The fatigue was getting hard to handle, all the sensations mixed together, their breaths, their voices, their words...

"If you can't do it right, I'll find someone who can".

This sentence stung you in the chest. All you were doing was trying to do your best for them, to make them feel good and have your share in it too. Were you really that incapable? Were you so incompetent that you didn't do anything for them? Were you really that useless?

"Watch your mouth," Peter warned, not necessarily condoning the crude words his partner had just uttered.

But it was too late, your heart clenched, your throat constricted as a ball formed in it. Your eyes burned, you would have preferred not to cry, but your nose stung so much in your abstinence that you ended up breaking. When the tears came, you lowered your head against Peter's shoulder, and they flowed hard and committed.

"Hey what's that," he said, feeling beads running down his skin that he knew wasn't sweat.

You didn't dare look at them, your hips still moving, your shame and discouragement oppressing your chest.

"Look at me," he asked softly as his hand came to rest on your cheek.

You looked up, your eyes unable to find his. But he placed his index finger like a hook under your chin to raise it, and your wet eyes met his.

"Oh no," he said, mouth half open, "bunny, are you crying?"

You immediately felt Miguel tense up, his hand suddenly much softer against your skin.

"What?" he asked, gently sliding his hand over your jaw in the hope of turning you towards him and seeing your face.

But you pulled away from his touch and buried your face in Peter's shoulder, not feeling strong enough to face Miguel's gaze.

"Miguel, you made her cry," Peter said, stroking your hair gently as Miguel's mouth fell open in surprise.

He hadn't realised the impact words like that could have on you, especially in this context. You had been so good to them, and you still are, their absolute dream. You are perfection itself, and Miguel would obviously never want to replace you with anyone else.

"Muñeca..." he murmured against your back as he came to kiss you tenderly, his hand caressing your hip.

Your tears were still flowing, your back shaking with little jolts of heartache and pleasure.

"Mírame," he asked gently, kissing the back of your neck.

You breathed in, lifting your wet cheeks from Peter's shoulder and turning to meet Miguel's face.

His eyes instantly became pained, pained to have been the one to cause this state. He would never, ever wish for anyone but you. He caressed your cheek, kissing the corner of your eyes and licking your wet skin.

"Please forgive me, amor," he whispered against your skin, "you know I never meant these words, right?"

Your chin trembled and Peter put his hand on your other cheek to wipe it clean.

"You're the only one we want," Miguel assured you, his eyes fixed on yours. "You're the most perfect thing that ever happened to us, and we would never want anybody else than you."

You sniffled, the sweet words he gave you pressing into your heart like a comforting balm. You loved them both so dearly, and it felt good to know that they did too.

"How are you feeling right now?" Peter asked, kissing your cheek softly.

You breathed in, still feeling the exhaustion weighing on your thighs and body.

"Like everything's too much," you managed to whisper, sniffing and swallowing.

"Do you think you can come just once more for us, nena?" Miguel asked, kissing your shoulder gently and stroking your thigh with his thumb.

The knot in your stomach was still tight, and it was almost painful not to get any relief from it.

"Mhm," you nodded as you pushed on your thighs again to raise them up.

Miguel's hands both came to grip your hip to guide you, helping you to sink and rise much more easily and sparing you a little pain in your thighs.

"You're so good for us," Peter breathed, kissing the crook of your neck lovingly, "you're doing such a good job, taking us like that."

Miguel kept pace with your hips, neither urging you on nor slowing you down. Both their warm breaths landed on your skin, whispering sweet, soft words that softened your heart and enveloped it in adoration.

Your moans began to multiply, vibrating in your throat a little more as you finally approached orgasm.

"Come for us, muñeca" encouraged Miguel.

And you came, your whole body shaking as if a bolt of lightning had struck your core and spread seismic waves of pleasure throughout its entirety.

You let your head rest against Miguel's chest, and he kissed your forehead gently.

"I knew you could do it," he whispered.

"You're our angel," Peter confirmed as he kissed your cheek.

[arvandus]

FICS FOR GAZA

Hello everyone, I've decided to join the @ficsforgaza fundraiser. I've had a couple people express interest, and I think that every little bit helps. I will be offering WIP donations as well as drabble requests.

Donations are to be submitted to a vetted fundraiser. Do NOT send donations directly to me or to @ficsforgaza. Once you have completed the donation, send me a private screenshot of proof of the donation. Once I receive proof, I will update my WIP and request list and begin writing!

If you have any questions about the donation process, please view the pinned post for @ficsforgaza. If you have questions about the WIPs or requests, please reach out to me.

Total funds raised (after dollar conversions) : $73.29 USD

REQUESTS

$2 donation = 100 words

1k word maximum ($20 donation)

Send me a character/characters and a dialogue prompt, trope, or just an overall idea that's been plaguing your brain lately and I'll write a short drabble/ficlet for you!

Fandoms I will write for: BNHA, Obey Me!, Wind Breaker, JJK, Haikyuu, Blue Lock, Black Butler, AOT, Bleach, Tokyo Revengers, Bungo Stray Dogs

Characters I will write for: Any! Bring it on, I love a challenge.

Will write: x reader (any gender), character ships, OCs, aged-up characters; SFW/NSFW, dark content (noncon/dubcon, yandere, etc). NSFW & dark content requests must provide proof of being 18 or older (request made off anon with age indicator in your tumblr bio). Note: If you want to make a NSFW/dark content request but remain publicly anonymous, send me a private message OR the same request off anon so I can verify. I will respond to your request using only the anon submission once you're verified.

Will not write: pedophilia; NSFW minors (even if no adult character is involved); anything involving bodily fluids that aren't saliva, tears, or blood; eggs, oviposition; a/b/o. If you're unsure about your request, you can message me privately and I'll be happy to answer, no judgment. :)

REQUESTS COMPLETED:

The Art of Looking (Haruka Sakura x f!OC)

REQUESTS PENDING:

Haruka Sakura x f!OC Drabble

Sponsored: 1,000

Completed: 0

WIPs

This list is extensive but by no means complete (I have many more ideas but they haven't been started yet). Here's to hoping your support will help me to clear some of these out of my drafts. :)

$1 donation = 100 words

No donation limit!

OBEY ME

The Confessions of Flowers (Barbatos x GN!Reader) - oneshot; SFW; fluff; friends to lovers

Synopsis: You and Barbatos exchange gifts of flowers and herbs as a way to communicate your feelings to each other.

Current WC: 971

Estimated Total WC: 1,500

Sponsored WC: 0/529

Love and Duty - Chapter 2 (Barbatos x f!Reader) - multichapter; SFW (for now); one-sided fake dating; Barb catches feelings (eventually)

Continuation of my multichapter Barb fic. Chapter 1 can be found here.

Current WC: 3,796

Estimated Total WC: 7,000

Sponsored WC: 0/3,204

Just A Game (Barbatos x f!Reader) - oneshot; NSFW; predator/prey; consensual non-con.

Synopsis: It was your idea. You were the one who asked Barbatos to play this game, to hunt you throughout the empty castle while the prince is away. But you didn't expect him to be this good at it.

Current WC: 347

Estimated Total WC: 4,000

Sponsored WC: 0/3,653

Untitled oneshot (Mammon x f!Reader) - oneshot; NSFW; hurt/comfort; car sex

Synopsis: Mammon has had it with the teasing and bullying at his expense. But at least he has one person in his corner - you. You, who tells off his brothers. You who seeks him out. And you who finds him sitting alone by himself in his car.

Current WC: 1883

Estimated Total WC: 3,000-4,000

Sponsored WC: 0/2,117

A Formal Affair (Barbatos x f!Reader x Diavolo) - oneshot; NSFW; public sex but away from prying eyes and ears; casual sexual arrangement; threesome with focus on Reader (reader sandwich!); size kink; anal; oral; questionable uses for a tail... who knows what else, I just go where the hormones tell me.

Synopsis: A formal date with Diavolo to a classical performance, with Barbatos in tow as his loyal shadow, devolves into a night of pleasure and sin that you never expected.

Current WC: 2,892

Estimated Total WC: 8,000

Sponsored WC: 0/5,108

BLACK BUTLER

Blood-bound (Sebastian Michaelis x f!Reader) - oneshot; NSFW; toxic/dark themes; enemies to lovers (but still enemies); blood feeding/drinking, bandages, injuries, rough handling.

Synopsis: The was no one you hated more than Sebastian Michaelis. He was arrogant, sinister, manipulative... and, the most obvious reason, a fucking demon. Which made it all the more infuriating when you woke up to your fatal wounds sealed shut and a hot, raging fire of desire coursing through your veins. A desire that only burned for one arrogant, sinister, manipulative demon.

Current WC: 9,139

Estimated Total WC: 13,000

Sponsored WC: 0/3,861

BNHA

Dabi Christmas Special (Dabi x GN!Reader) - oneshot; SFW; fluff.

Synopsis: You've been repairing Dabi's clothes for him, strengthening their fire resistance with your quirk, for months now. But you never expected him to show up on Christmas Eve, of all nights.

Current WC: 680

Estimated Total WC: 1,500 - 2,000

Sponsored WC: 0/1,320

Tethered (Dabi x f!Reader) - oneshot; NSFW; weed & alcohol consumption; Dabi's an asshole but he's hot.

Synopsis: Insomnia is nothing new for you. It's nothing new for Dabi, either. It's why he's already sitting at the hideout's bar drinking his memories away when you show up for your own night cap. You think nothing of it... just another night of bantering and sarcasm. That is, until he makes you an offer you didn't expect.

Current WC: 6,794

Estimated Total WC: 8,000

Sponsored WC: 500/1,712

Total Sponsored Completed: 500/500

The Fall (Overhaul x f!Reader) - oneshot (two parter that will be posted simultaneously); childhood friends to lovers; angst; violence; eventual NSFW in later parts; yandere undertones as things progress.

Synopsis: You'd known Kai Chisaki since that fateful day you saw him, young and filthy, enter the Shie Hassaikai grounds on the heels of the Boss. Over time, a tentative bond between the two of you formed, growing stronger as you got older. But it wasn't enough to keep the young man from spiraling, losing himself in his obsession of purging the world of quirks. After all, he was doing it for you. He was doing it all for you.

Current WC: 9,355

Estimated Total WC: 20,000

Sponsored WC: 2,700/10,645

Total Sponsored Completed: 0/2,700

Cat and Mouse (Bakugou x f!Reader) - oneshot; NSFW; enemies to lovers; hero vs. villain.

Synopsis: Bakugou prides himself on his ability to stop any villain in their tracks. His record is impeccable, his reputation flawless. That is, until he crosses paths with you, a cat burglar with a quirk that always leaves him three steps behind. Oh, it also doesn't help that you drive him absolutely, utterly wild.

Current WC: 2,603

Estimated Total WC: 6,000 (hopefully?)

Sponsored WC: 0/3,397

Protector (title is tentative) (Bakugou x f!Reader) - oneshot; angst, hurt/comfort; love confession; NSFW

Synopsis: Bakugou's one job was to protect you. You weren't supposed to get hurt. But you did, and now he had to deal with the fallout. It calls into question everything he thought and felt about you. He thought he hated you. He thought you were a pain in the ass. And he thought he couldn't wait for this fucking assignment to be over. But the threat of loss, he realized, hurt more than the threat of failure. And coming so close to losing you has him rethinking every assumption he'd ever made. If only he could figure out what you were thinking. If only he could understand why you jumped in a protected him.

Current WC: 120

Estimated Total WC: 5,000

Sponsored WC: 0/4,880

Untitled oneshot (Aizawa x f!Reader) - oneshot; established relationship; NSFW; somnophilia (consensual)

Synopsis: A heavy work day leaves you exhausted and drained. Luckily for you, you have Aizawa waiting for you at home with the promise of a much-needed massage. Unfortunately, it's impossible for you to stay awake once you're in the comfort of your bed and you have his warm, rough hands on you... but that doesn't stop him from loving every inch of you.

Current WC: 2,053

Estimated Total WC: 4,000

Sponsored WC: 600/1,947

Total Sponsored Completed: 0/600

JJK

The Ties That Bind - Chapter 1 (Inumaki x f!Reader) - multichapter; arranged marriage; canon adjacent future AU; slowburn; pining; hurt/comfort; mild enemies to lovers.

Synopsis: Inumaki didn't want this. He didn't want any of this. But his loyalty to his clan, and the potential fallout if he refused, forced his hand. Now he's bound for marriage to a total stranger all in an attempt to preserve the Gojo clan bloodline and keep the Six Eyes technique from extinction. The only problem is, you don't want to be here either. And neither of you want to have children.

Current WC: 4,584

Estimated Total WC (for chapter 1): 7,000

Sponsored WC: 0/2,416

A Promise To The Dead - Chapter 1 (Gojo x f!Reader) - multichapter fic; Nanami's widow!Reader; pregnant!Reader; canon divergence; childbirth and child-rearing; angst; drama; JJK politics; slowburn; pining; friends to lovers; violence & NSFW in future chapters

Synopsis: Nanami was never supposed to marry, but he did anyway. He was never supposed to have children, but here you were, belly round and filled with life. And Nanami was never ever supposed to die. Now it was Gojo who was left to pick up the pieces, trying to force them together into something believable, something you would accept. Because Nanami never told you what he really was. He never told you about the world of curses and sorcerers. He did it to protect you, of course... to keep you and his unborn child far away from violence and death. But Gojo knew better. He knew that there was no way to keep it from you forever. And when your child's sorcerer abilities manifest at the age of five, he's forced to take you and your child in. It doesn't matter that you hate him. It doesn't matter that you blame him for your late husband's death. And it doesn't matter that a deep, secret part of him has wanted you since the very beginning. Because he made a promise a long time ago that if anything were to happen to Nanami, that Gojo would make sure you were protected and provided for. And Gojo cannot not bring himself to break a promise with the dead.

Current WC: 396

Estimated Total WC: 8,000

Sponsored WC: 0/7,604

[blackkatdraws2]

I'm involved in a Stanley Reblog Chain and put effort into these drawings so I'll post them here too.

[The other characters belong to insomniphic / beartitled / and marionette-j2x]

[Just me rambling underneath!] ↓

Tumblr has a tag limit and it grates my nerves to no end to know that I can't ramble as much as I'd like to...

Stanley and the bad bitch he pulled by being a loser. Imagine having a hot babe deform reality just to be together with you because he sensed you were feeling lonely without him. [WHEN IS IT MY TURN?!]

It's funny because with the general vibe of their AU, it would make sense for him to show up in the most flashy but also unnerving way possible. The Narrator's [Black's] arrival has to grab people's eyes since attention and views are what he's all about.

I wasn't sure what type of characterization they had so I just played it safe and [tried to] draw how my characters would respond instead of blindly guessing how the others would talk or act around each other. [My Stanley is antisocial and an anxiety-ridden freak.]

Also, I've been wondering what their height differences actually were when I saw my Stanley have to look up at Marionette's Narrator [since this guy is pretty damn tall] so I did a bit of digging and this was what I found.

I had a lot of fun making this by the way. It's been a while since I've participated in any Reblog Chains that involved character interactions and making comics, so it's a real throwback to when I first started posting TSP art in 2023.

Stanley here is an absolute social shutoff teehee, but he does talk back when talked to. His responses usually leave no openings to continue the conversation though. He's the type of guy to stay on the corner and watch everyone else.

As for the Narrator [Black] he's a bit strange. He's proper in public, but he doesn't think the other people are special [or not as special as he is at least]. He just doesn't care to be honest, he keeps to himself [along with Stanley] and that's it. It's a miracle for Stanley to have even pulled somebody like Black considering their personalities are the type to clash with one another. [They love each other though, genuinely. Despite how deranged they can be towards each other sometimes, that development took a long time to be nurtured into something healthier for those two.]

Also, 4th wall breaking in action!!!!!!!!!!!

Black didn't want to interrupt this comic since it was made for Stanley but after the other three came in he lost reservations and came in as well.

These two would probably just stay in their own spot [somewhere quiet and more alone]. This place is a bit too crowded for their liking. But I would be very happy to jump on any opportunity to make my guys interact with the others!!!!! Don't be afraid to throw a bone [prompt] for me to bite on, okay?

[Oh no, I just realized Black looks like he has boobs on the last picture. He DOES NOT have boobs!! Sorry man boob enjoyers, it's the lighting that made it look that way wuwuwu...]

[Copy and Pasting the tags of my other post because I am NOT re-writing all of this...]

[teatreeoilll]

|| Selfish (Gojo Satoru X Reader) ||

(Reposted from my old blog which I don't have access to anymore (thanks Tumblr), if you liked it reblogs or likes would be appreciated to get me back on track since I've lost all my followers and half my work :(

In which Gojo is so protective over reader she's sure he hates her. Couldn't be further from the truth, but how would you know it without some good old-fashioned over dramatic angst?

TW: mentions of smoking and blood.

"He hates me. I swear, I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating..." You catch yourself muttering on the steps leading to the training field. The breeze tickles your skin, you cast your shoes aside to change them to trainers. "I didn't even have time to go back to my room and change. All day it's do this, go get that… I swear, Kyoto sounds like a great idea these days."

Nobara sits beside you, her look shifts to your shoes, "Where'd you get those? I never saw them in this color before."

"Kugisaki!" You plea, "I'm serious, please. Gojo hates me. How does it make sense that I'm stuck in damn Grade 2 for the past year and half?"

"Maybe," She takes her phone out to take a picture of your shoes, "You're just not as good as you think?"

"Oi, Kugisaki, don't talk to your elders like that!" Yuji's voice butts in, he sits with a thump on the stairs next to you. "But I can't imagine Gojo-Sensei hating anyone. Especially a teaching assistant. It makes no sense."

It really does make no sense, you drowned your face in your palms. How are all these kids supposed to take you seriously when they see you humiliated daily? Rejected from missions. Stuck on the same Jujutsu-Grade as the second year students for so long you've lost all hopes of ever advancing anywhere. Forever a teaching assistant, a mere substitute teacher for the times when the truly powerful had more important things to do.

Disheartened, you've reduced to sharing your feelings with first-years before training. "Alright, pair up. We haven't got all day!" You get up from the steps, trying to pick up the remains of your self-esteem.

Dusk crept over the surrounding trees. You've been watching the students for hours now, noticing how through each change in their pairings they've gotten better and faster. Familiar feelings loomed over you. That's it. That has to be it. Another day of watching these kids surpass their own limits so simply will surely be the end of the line.

You marched straight into Gojo's office, not even making an effort to change to something not drenched with sweat.

"We will not have that conversation again," the white haired man didn't even bother to look up from his phone. It's true, you've had this conversation every couple of months - and you've always received the same unsatisfying answers.

"You're right," you found yourself standing straight across from him, the palms of your hands hitting the desk in between you a little too hard.

"Careful with that, it's expensive." He says. You stare at him in silence. How is it, that with all the anger you hoped he'd notice you've directed at him, he wouldn't even avert his gaze from his phone for one minute?

"Saturo, I've -"

"First name basis, are we now?" Another smug smirk sent your way, your cheeks began to burn.

"I think first name basis may be appropriate, since I've decided to transfer to Kyoto." Oh god, when was that decision made? You've always liked Tokyo, the proximity from the city made all your futile efforts here worthwhile. But it was too late to back down. Gojo's hand reached to his blindfold, one blue eye peeks at you.

"Alright, good luck then." The blindfold snapped back on, his attention returned quickly to his phone.

"Good luck then," you mutter to yourself, walking back through the darkening corridors to your room, "Good luck then, huh?" It's been over five years now since you've first arrived in Jujutsu High, was good luck then all that he could say? What a fucking -"

-

"Emergency!" A voice rang through the building. Oh god, what now? You think, with your eyes set on your room to wallow the evening in your newly made terrible decision.

"Someone! Please!" Your legs carried you before your reasoning did. Through the curves of the hallways, straight to the first-year's rooms.

"It's Yuji," Kugisaki looked at you, panting, "He tried to pet Megumi's divine dog. I don't think the dog liked it."

Yuji held out his arm. After a thorough inspection, it was just a scary looking graze on his forearm. He muttered to Nobara it wasn't much to fuss about, the blood smearing on the sleeve of his uniform. "It's nothing bad, we'll tend to it any way to avoid an infection," you prompted him to get up from his seat, "I think Shoko's still in the infirmary."

You sat on the infermary bed, with Yuji already on his way back to his room you'd found the time to share your troubles. Shoko sighed, fumbling for a lighter through the things on the tray next to her. "Shoko, I'm going to Kyoto."

She lit her cigarette, the smell of smoke suffocating the small room. "That's nice, when will you be back?" She asked, huffing smoke in the direction of the open window.

"I don't think I'll be back for a while. Or at all, actually." She dragged a chair to the side of the bed, watching your fingers tap on the fabric.

"I wondered when you'll finally do that. You spoke to Satoru again, didn't you?" A sigh escaped her lips. She'd rarely admit to liking spending time with anyone, but the occasion seemed to call for it. "I'll miss you. That prick always thinks he's doing the right thing."

"I hardly think it's right to deny promotions from anyone for so long. He made sure I was so busy that I could hardly find the time to go on missions." Shoko weighed her words carefully, tapping carefully on the ashtray, removing the ash residue from her cigarette.

"It's because he'd never tell you how scared he is for something to happen to you. It's still selfish, don't get me wrong there - but I think he's far too afraid of something happening that it has become easier for him to sabotage you. I told him repeatedly to stop but he just -" Her words cut off by a knock on the door.

"Ieri! You there?" Gojo's impatient knocking had turned frantic. "The lights are on, Shoko. Open up!" Your eyes shot up at Shoko, speak of the devil. The handle turned lightly.

Gojo entered the room, turning straight to Shoko, not even looking at your direction. You'd managed to quickly find an excuse to leave, struggling to believe that's the same man who'd do anything out of concern for you. You closed the door, fingers lingering on the round handle, thinking how wrong it would be to eavesdrop while pressing your ear to the door.

"You know she's really leaving, right?" Shoko's distant voice lectured. "That's on you for acting selfish, Gojo." As you thought, he said nothing. Quickly diverting the conversation to something relating to a mission, another one you weren't supposed to be a part of. Perhaps it was wrong to eavesdrop. You stepped away from the door to turn to the direction of your room. Finally, some good wallowing time.

-

By the next morning, you've already made all the necessary calls. Wishing somehow it would be harder to convince the higher-ups of your sudden move, but it seemed that help was welcome anywhere, and work always needed to be done.

With your bags half packed, you were almost ready to say the sudden goodbyes to the students. The nostalgic look on every part of your room had already taken over, the final time of staring at that crack on the ceiling, the final time of covering that old coffee stain on the nightstand with a small glass whale statuette Gojo brought from one of his trips. Perhaps it's better to leave it there.

You gathered your nerves, opening the door, just to watch the tall white haired man pace from side to side in the hallway. "Did I forget something?" Your hand held the door open. He jumped up a bit from the sudden voice.

His pacing slowed, he took a step towards you, you gulped at the narrowing distance between your bodies. "I - spoke to Shoko. I think I got carried away, you don't have to leave on my account." The words felt empty as he said them, Shoko must have chewed him out well yesterday.

"You know Go-," You inhaled, "Satoru, not everything happens because of you." He dropped his sunglasses further down on the bridge of his nose, his blue eyes piercing through you. You hardly ever saw him without his blindfold, his stare sending shivers down your spine.

"Shoko was quite adamant it's all my fault, So I thought I better -"

You laughed, "Shoko was also quite adamant that all this time you just cared about me, so I guess even smart people can be wrong sometimes."

"But I do." His hand brushes through his hair, just for it to fall over his eyes again.

"Funny," you snarl, he studies your expression silently. You've taken advantage of that silence to continue, "So all these years you were just protecting me from dying? I thought sorcerers had accepted that fate when walking in here."

"Some things are worse than death," A solemn look takes hold of his face, you could have sworn the color of his eyes darkened.

"Do you take me for such a weakling?" Your tone of voice already deeming the conversation as pointless.

"I never said that. I think you care, perhaps too much. I would never want to see you sacrifice yourself over anything." The joyless tone of voice was far from his usual demeanor.

"Well, now you wouldn't have to see me at all." Your nerves had gotten the best of you. You hardly meant to say it, but as the words were spat out of our mouth, it seemed inappropriate to back off this course of action.

"You're not listening to me, (Y/N)" He could hardly cover how irritated he was, his hand gripped your forearm, pushing you towards him. His breath stroked your face, "I would never want something to happen to you, but you seem to be pushing towards it all the time. Aren't you happy with the students? Why do all of you have to go running around searching for burdens to carry when you don't have to?" His fist contracts tighter around your arm. His teeth clench to stop another flow of words he'd regret later on.

"Satoru, who's all of us?" In your voice a sense of shame, an empty pit has formed down at the bottom of your stomach, his eyes still fixed upon you. The same feeling of being scorned as a child, a tough love you'd thought would pass you by at this age.

"Aren't you happy?" he questions you again, you wiggle your arm as a sign of pain, even as he lets it go you still feel the marks that his fingers left there.

"I am, It's just that -" He couldn't let you go on for a second longer, his lips pressing firmly against yours, your breath sucked away by his tongue. A long minute passed, your hand had found a happy place inside his hair, his arms had restricted your movement and emitted safety all together.

Just as he'd stopped for a breath, you'd decided it'd be far too hard to continue the conversation if this went on.

"I'd like to not be hindered, Satoru," you wiped the wetness of your lips with your sleeve, "Nobody comes to Jujutsu-High to be protected, they come to protect. If I can't do it when you're there, I'll go." You watched his face change, his mind racing behind the sunglasses.

"You can do it here," A piece of sadness was left in an otherwise tranquil voice.

"Good." Your smile had reminded him to breathe, "Now," you mused, "Would you mind kissing me like you're angry again?" His laughter lifted the tension from your body,

"Oh - Dirty," The familiar smirk had settled down the final waves of emotion.

-

"Not a word, Shoko." You pleaded to her again.

"If you don't want the school talking about it, then don't have your arguments in the hall." She took a long drag from her smoke, "Would you mind kissing me like you're angry again?" She imitates you silently, chuckling under her breath.

"Shoko, I'm begging you!" 

[the-modern-typewriter]

Hi, I really love your writing. It’s actually incredible how you can write people of the same pronoun and still make it easy to discern the two characters. I was wondering if you have any tips on how to do that without using phrases like “the short one” or anything like that.

1. Use the character's names

I often use 'the protagonist ', 'the antagonist', 'the hero', 'the villain' on tumblr. However, functionally, I use these like names and/or titles.

Using a character name allows you to periodically clarify who is talking or doing something when the reader would otherwise get confused. I know some people take this a step further by actually using 'Hero' 'Villain' as names more literally/directly, but I don't personally like doing that. It jars my brain.

I think 'the hero' etc works as an indicator where 'the short one' doesn't because it's neutral/not providing new info. Traditionally, we often only use physical descriptors when we don't know who a character is, so it creates distance/can jar when used in the middle of a scene. If you are in first person or limited third, there's just not necessarily a reason why your narrator would think of the other character in that way, which is another reason it can feel odd.

Basically, it's a bit like how we don't notice 'said', but would really notice if someone was uttering/shouting/mumbling in every dialogue tag.

2. Use proper paragraphing.

New character doing something, new line. New person talking, new line. New idea/point, new line. Shift in time or setting, new line.

3. Don't be afraid of easy beats

What are easy beats, you say? They are the moments of action or thinking in between dialogue. Body language. Whatever. Even if you don't use 'he/they/she said', because that can get repetitive. They are a way of providing context and variety to your writing, that can often do double work making it clear who is doing or saying something.

Example:

''So this is dialogue," they said.

"Right."

"And you didn't need to say you were talking next, because it was obviously someone else because it was on the next line. And now it's obviously me again. Hi!"

"All well and good until we've been chatting like this forever."

"Well." They stretched out, lazily. "That's what the easy beat that just happened was for. Did you catch me stretching in the middle?"

"But now I'd need a name or some kind of indicator," Character B replied. "Or it feels odd. Too many theys"

"It's all about balance, my friend. The instinct comes with practice."

Character B wrinkled their nose. "But what if I want to talk for a really long time?"

"Well," they said. "Then you can often start with a pronoun use or a character name to establish. Then you make your next point. Try and keep it relatively easy to follow. After that, try to have some kind of easy beat or action happen so the whole thing isn't talking heads." Character A rose towering to their feet, waggling their fingers in another hello. "And, if we're lucky, we never need to say 'the short one said' again, because we can flow our descriptions more naturally into the action.' Now." They sauntered closer, stopping in front of Character A with the worst smirk that B had ever seen. "Shall we ask the audience which of us is taller?"