#I don’t think it’s delusional. it’s in the text everyone. something is there.

[writingway-in-writinghell]

S3E7 - Ted is not straight

Okay but apart from all the crumbs everyone’s reading (including the ~was~ that could very well allude to a subversion):

This was a Trent episode, like, purely on a narrative level, right. Trent who’s reminded of his initial doubt in Ted. Trent who came to Richmond for his book (which he’s totally naming The Lasso Way), only to find a Ted who… kinda isn’t Ted at that time. Trent who tries to coax him out of his shell with the video of Nate ripping apart the sign (and probably realizing too late that it doesn’t really help Ted at all). Trent who, just like Ted, is perhaps beginning to ask himself, “why am I here?”

Almost all cuts to him in this episode can be read purely in this light. Yes there’s subtext, the red string on his wrist etc., but those things are all VERY subtle and more a matter of blink-and-you-miss-it.

Except for one cut.

When Ted - for whatever reason, because it sure isn’t relevant - mentions he “was a STRAIGHT fella” in the US sports business.

We cut to Trent here, and only to him. We see… doubt, perhaps? The man is still so unreadable to me, but there is definitely something, and the cut alone, the cut to the confirmed gay man, while another is referring to himself as “straight” (past tense notwithstanding), in a speech where said man talks about boxes we put ourselves in and the right choice after a bunch of wrong ones…

That cut, in this exact moment, when Ted refers to his sexuality, has NOTHING to do with Trent’s arc. It can only be linked to Trent’s own sexuality imo, and to the ~boxes~ we’re confined to.

Could it be that Ted was talking about gendered expectations, about what men in sports are ~supposed~ to do and look like? Sure.

But then a simple “as a man in sports” would’ve sufficed.

Nope, he specifically mentions his sexuality.

Maybe it’s some kind of Freudian slip on Ted’s end. He specifically says “was”, after all. Sure, the whole story takes place in the past, but have you ever talked about your own persistent identity like that? Wouldn’t “a straight fella in sports, I could only really do X” be more in line with Ted’s usual speech pattern? The whole sentence just sounds stiff coming from him.

No, with the cut to Trent and the speech it all leads to, I can only conclude that they’re still doing something with Ted’s sexuality. Whether he discovers (or remembers?) that he’s bi or pan or whatever it may be (I can also see him as sex-positive ace tbh, the way he doesn’t really comment on attractiveness and more on style of others)… This is in the text, fellas.

Perhaps he doesn’t realize it yet, but Ted Lasso is not straight.

[lexisecretaccx]

A+ Student pt.2

Other parts on my Masterlist!

(Fem reader, Matt and Chris, suggestive, little angst, not proofread! Everyone is 18+, idk what else)

Summary: Y/n is a great student in her college, always getting good grades. Her college professor Matt, thinks she can get even higher ones with some “extra credit.” That is until she meets her new gym teacher..

“There she is!” Lizzy calls over to me, sat next to 3 other people who I don’t know, she motions me to sit opposite her. “Who are these?” I whisper to her. She chuckles, “this is Ethan, this is Jamie and this is Kelly.” She looks to a blonde girl sat next to her who smiles at me, “I’m new, I think I’m in your English class.” She giggles, “oh nice.” I smile uncomfortably.

I don’t enjoy being around new people, I know you have to be to make new friends but I honestly don’t want new friends. I eat my food silently while they all talk and make my way to the library for the last period, which was a free period. Nobody else who I knew had one so I was alone but it’s usually like that anyway.

Lizzy enjoys being around people, she’s pretty extroverted but not me.

I sit down at a table in the library and open a book, not a book to learn but just a book. Icebreaker. If you weren’t familiar with it, it’s a smutty book so reading it in school is a dangerous task.

I turn to the page I was on and read it. Whilst I was getting into the story, I sense someone looking at me and I turn around. Matt is stood there flicking through a book, he quickly drops his head from looking at me. I pack my book into my bag, placing the bookmark into the page and I walk to him. “Hey professor.” I lean up against the bookcase next to him.

“Oh hey y/n, you okay?” He smiles at me, “yeah I have a free period, what you reading?” I ask him looking at the book in his hands. He shrugs lightly, “I don’t know I just picked a random book,” he laughs quietly due to us being in a library. “Uh, why did Chris make you stay behind earlier?” He slightly leads my arm so we can sit down.

“I threw a dodgeball at Rachel, because she was saying shit about me.” I whisper, he chuckles, “Rachel in the English class?” I nod. “I’ll give her a D- next test if you want.” He grins, “No don’t do that.” I laugh, “I was kidding.”

We chat and I text him so he gets my number and the bell rings so I leave to go home. As I’m walking I get a text from Matts number, “extra credit 6pm? 27 Saques Lane.” I smile to myself before texting back, “sure see u there.”

I feel my cheeks heat up, am I really doing this? I get home and walk upstairs, showering, making myself look presentable and also slipping on a red lacy set, just in case.. I put on sweats and a crop top that shows my cleavage the perfect amount. Am I delusional? What if he doesn’t mean what I think he does? I start to feel anxious but I get a cab to his house.

The cab driver pulls up outside Matt’s and I pay him before hopping out of the car. I walk up his large driveway, this house must have at least 4 bedrooms or more, there’s a minivan in the driveway and a fancy Porsche. “Woah.” I mumble to myself. I knock the door nervously, someone opens the door. “Oh hey..” he says.

“Sorry I’m just heading out now, who are you?” He tilts his head slightly, “oh I’m y/n, I’m here to see Matt?” I speak, anxiety filling my chest. “Oh yeah he’s in the living room, see ya.” He walks past me without letting me say another word. “Okay..” I whisper. I walk in and I can hear music or something coming from the room next to me.

The door is glass so I peer through and see Matt laying back on a big couch facing a modern fireplace with a massive tv on it. How can he afford these things? I think to myself.

I open the door and walk in, Matt instantly turning his head to face me. His gaze softens as he realised it’s me. “I’m so sorry I didn’t hear you knock!” He stands up and walks to me, “it’s fine, the other one of you three opened the door.” I smile, “Nick?” He asks me and I shrug, “probably, it wasn’t Chris so yeah.” I laugh and he chuckles.

“Come sit.” He sits back down and I sit next to him, he turns the TV off and directs his attention to me, “so what extra credit should I do?” I lean closer to him, “like write a short story or do some quizzes or something else..” I look him up and down, the grey sweatpants sitting perfectly and the tight black tshirt is doing all sorts of good things.

“I like the third option.” He whispers before leaning in and brushing my hair out of my face. I know this is wrong but it feels so good. I press my lips to his and I melt into him, his soft lips move against mine perfectly.

He hums against my lips before pulling away too soon. “This is wrong.” He mumbled to himself. “I thought you wanted..” I go to speak but he cuts me off, “I don’t know y/n.. what if I lose my job?” He stands up and wipes his mouth, “fuck.” He breathes out. “I’m sorry..” I fidget with my hands.

“Don’t apologise.. please y/n? I just...” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I wasn’t thinking straight.. you’re just so.. I don’t know.” He sits on the coffee table opposite me.

“So you don’t want me anymore?” I ask, and he huffs, “No I’m not saying that.. but I also am. I just love my job, and you’re great at the subject but I don’t want this.” He motions between us. My eyes well with tears, “what?” My voice cracks, “don’t cry, please? I’m gonna go for a drive.. clear my head but you can stay here until I’m back if you want.” He smiles and pats my shoulder.

He walks out the door, “what the fuck just happened.” I cry softly to myself, placing my head in my hands. I should’ve know that this wasn’t what he wanted truly. Fuck I feel awful, I’m a slut.

After 5 minutes I stand up to go leave and the front door opens infront of me, Matt wouldn’t be home this quickly, what if it’s Nick? He doesn’t know me and I’m crying in his hallway. “Oh fuck you scared me.” I look up to see Chris, I breathe out softly, “oh shit you okay?” He walks up to my and rests his hand on my shoulder, I shake my head. “No.” I squeak before crying harder.

Without hesitation he pulls me into his chest and hugs me, I pull my head off of him and he looks down, “I don’t wanna get makeup on your shirt.” I whisper and he chuckles. “It’s fine.”

We pull away from the hug, “that’s embarrassing.” I laugh lightly, and he tilts his head, “what is?” I shrug, “I fucking cried in my gym teachers arms.” He laughs softly, “that’s not embarrassing.. but why are you in my house crying?” He leads me to the kitchen and we sit up to the island. “Uh.. fuck I don’t know if I can tell.” I sigh.

“Matt? Right?” He asks. I nod, “We didn’t do anything, he just flipped out.” He cracks his knuckles, “well he is your professor maybe he got scared, he’s never been one to take risks.” Chris leans on the counter smiling at me. I sigh, “yeah but he made me think he wanted something.”

“It’s okay, when is he coming back?” He rubs my back comfortingly, I shrug. “I don’t know, he didn’t say.” Chris nods. The room has gotten tense, not an awkward tension but it’s indescribable.

“What did you mean earlier today?” Chris’ eyes meet mine and he hums in confusion, “when you said there was ways for me to get higher grades, what did you mean by that?” I ask again, the corners of his mouth flick up before relaxing, “it wasn’t what you were thinking..” he smirks.

“What did you think I was thinking?” I lean on the counter infront of me slightly, “I think you were thinking that I was implying something sexual.. weren’t you y/n?” He leans in slightly, I shake my head gently. “No I wasn’t thinking that.. you’re my teacher.” I scoff, “didn’t stop you from trying with Matt huh?” He leant in further.

“The difference between me and him? I like to take risks.” He leant in so his nose brushed against mine before he pulled away. I feel my cheeks redden, he laughs at my nervousness, “do you want-” I go to speak but the front door unlocks and both of us turn to face the door before Chris gets up and walks over to the fridge. Matt walks in and goes to check the living room before he notices me in the kitchen.

“Oh hey.” He spoke softly walking towards me, his eyes dart to Chris standing there opening a can of Pepsi. His jaw tightens, “hey Matty boy you okay?” Chris teases and Matt rolls his eyes, “see ya tomorrow y/n.” Chris spoke as he walks past me, patting my shoulder and going out into the hall. “Did you tell him.. or?” Matt starts to talk.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” I sigh, “hey what did I do?” He asks with genuine concern on his face, I scoff. “You led me on to believe you wanted something from me!” I stand up out of the seat. “Come on y/n, I’m your professor.. grow up.” He spoke, I just started walking towards the front door.

“Wait.. wait.” He yelled slightly before grabbing my arm. “Get off.” I hiss. “I’m sorry okay?” He whispers in my ear before letting go. “I’ll see you in tomorrow’s lecture, no hard feelings right?” He smiled and I just opened the door and walked out. I felt angry. Why did he pretend he wanted something and then treats me like shit.

Chris is nice though.. “y/n.. please come back.” I hear Matt calling from behind me and I turn around, I still can’t deny that I find him so fucking gorgeous he’s just kind of a dick.. “what?” I reply. “I’ll bump your overall trade to an A+.. I know how much you want it and you deserve it.” He smiles as he catches up with me, he brushes my hair out my face. “Thanks…” I feel drawn into him.

What kind of spell has he got on me? He’s manipulating me right? “What were you and Chris doing?” He asks me, as his hand rests on my arm, “the thing we didn’t do.” I whisper just to watch his expression change. It did exactly that and his gaze hardens, “what?” He mumbles, “we talked.. me and you haven’t done that.” I turn around and continue to walk away.

I turn away to see him walking back to his house slowly, I can’t let him manipulate me but I just don’t know.. there’s something about him.. but also about Chris.. maybe it’s the fact they’re both my teachers, or maybe it’s because they look the same but are so different at the same time.

I just don’t know what I want..

A/n: Team Chris or Team Matt? I have good plans for this but I cannot reveal and I also cannot upload too much bc of how busy I ammm! Ily all and thanks for 600 followers that’s crazy!

@blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @mattybslover @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosmind @fratbrochrisgf @sturniol0s @alwayssublimedelusion @certifiednatelover @freshsturns @riasturns @sturniololvrrr @maryx2xx @whicked-hazlatwhore @cammie4298 @sturnsjtop @sturnzblog @chr1sgirl4life @evie-sturns @milasturniolo @jaxyy219

[youalreadyhavefullresults]

the mindset journey

So hi.

My mindset has been evolving a lot ever since I started this journey, and I thought I'd lay it all out in one post. Subliminals, mindless affirming, scripting, visualization, states. I've tried so many things out, and I think I've finally figured out what works for me.

TLDR:

Stop “trying” to manifest or checking the 3d, you already have full results, creation was over like since forever.

Sure you know that you’re God, as the posts and everything you’ve seen tells you, but have you really embraced that internally?

It doesn’t matter how many posts you read, it’s up to you to actually change your mindset.

Logic is literally useless, be delusional (don’t you just wanna go ape-shit :), go get your fucking desires)

Time is not linear, and means nothing when manifesting.

Revision is so powerful, use it.

It’s just so easy guys, please just make sure you’re actually applying the information you see instead of just passively scrolling through.

And the rest is under the cut, happy reading <33

I started off in the subliminal community in Oct 2020 and just had so many limiting beliefs, it was sad. Not to shit on the community or anything, some of them are wonderful people and most of them have changed their mindset as well, but my initial knowledge prevented me from getting to this point until now. But, now I’m here, and a day after I wrote this in my drafts, I literally manifested my ideal life. I originally started this blog to collect advice from loa blogs, but honestly, I don’t need any of it anymore. Though I do like helping people, so if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask.

The Initial Mindset:

I always read through countless posts that say “You’re God” and “You literally can get what you want without even trying.” While I understood the text and adopted the mindset, I still did little subconscious things that contradicted it. While I affirmed my self-concept was perfect, I would also cram-study for exams and worry I would fail. I would say I look perfect, but then also worry about the way my body looked. Also, the way that I literally became obsessed with loa media? I spent hours watching Sammy Ingram videos, looping subliminals, and reading tumblr posts on “how to manifest faster and better”. During this phase of my life, my mind was plagued with intrusive thoughts and my self-concept was slowly getting better, but still absolute shit. I would manifest things here and there, but nothing life-changing.

The main problem however, was the fact that I would treat manifesting like a task I HAD to do. Now that school was back in session, I literally would zone out during specific classes on purpose and just affirm to myself. I would feel bad if I hadn’t listened to my subliminal playlist for the day because I “wasted time in getting my desires”. There’s nothing wrong with vainly affirming or listening to subs if you believe it works, but for me, treating manifesting like a task meant that I was looking for an outcome. Clearly, now I know better, that everything is always done and that there’s nothing to complete, but back then, this was probably the main reason why I struggled to see full results easily. I was acting out of desperation and didn't believe manifestation already was done.

When Everything Changed:

I know that it’s different for everyone, but my “aha!” moment was probably when I read this post. Seriously, go read it, it made me realize that I was going about it all wrong. Now, it wasn’t learning how to perfect my manifesting, it was learning to pull out the tiny limiting beliefs that had burrowed its way into my subconscious.

For example,

“I need to do xyz so that I can get my manifestations.”

Why would I would need to do anything if I already have all of my manifestations hmm? It’s literally already done. Like there’s no need to put in that effort into something that’s already perfect right? So why do I need to even need to try? I literally get whatever tf I want without even trying. This doesn’t mean that every method out there is useless, but in the end, you are the one doing the manifesting, not the method.

“But... this makes absolutely no logical sense! How would this even work?”

I know that STEM me loves finding the logic behind everything, so that’s why I struggled a lot with the logic and time aspect. But darling, it doesn’t need to make sense. There are literally so many things in the world that scientists to this day can’t explain, including just how powerful and complex your brain is. Not to mention the fact that concepts such as logic and science are literally man-made too? What’s the point in trying to deal with logic? Just let go and have fun.

“I affirmed so hard, and I believed it. But then it never showed up when the time came.”

First off, your time spent affirming means nothing, sorry to break it to you. It’s about the mindset(your state if you will) you currently exist in that truly makes a difference. And just because it didn’t show up today doesn’t mean that you missed your window of opportunity. Revision is still manifesting, because time is not a linear concept. Anything at any time can just change with a snap of your fingers. You want to change all of your test scores? Bam, it’s done. you wish WW2 never happened? Bam, it’s done. You want to relive the past 5 years of your life? Bam, it’s done. It doesn’t matter what the event is, what time it is, or that you “didn’t do it before the deadline”. Whenever you do get it(which is instant/soon if you're persisting properly), it will be there, seamlessly blended in with your 3d. You don’t need to worry about a damn thing, your subconscious will take care of everything for you.

“Oh no! I just had intrusive thoughts, did I just mess up my manifestations?”

Why are you giving intrusive thoughts the power to do anything? Sure, you may get them, but that doesn’t mean that they have any effect on you. It’s the doubt they make you feel in your mindset that truly messes it up. Don’t give in. Acknowledge the thought, accept that it literally means nothing, and continue to persist. Your thoughts only have the power you give them.

“Nah, everyone has to be lying, this doesn’t seem real.” / ”Manifesting must just be a coincidence, there’s no way this is real.”

Oh? So you’re saying, the amount of posts you’ve seen, all of the success stories, all of the followers and comments, are you saying every single one of them is lying? No. I’m not saying that every single one of them is truthful, but there’s no way that every single one of them would lie and put this much work into something that’s not real. If you find yourself struggling to believe in the law, I’d suggest you try to manifest something small, and then build up your belief from there. I sure as hell didn’t believe in any of this from the beginning, but then, I manifested consciously for the first time. Again, and again. It became easier, and my life got better. It soon becomes apparent that literally everything you think happens. I always used to wonder how things I randomly thought in the back of my head always happened even though I literally didn’t do anything about it in the 3d. This proved to me that your mental state is more powerful than it seems.

“Can I manifest-”

Yes. Just yes. You’re GOD. GOD. Why tf is God asking some random loa account if they can manifest something or not? Ofc God would know that they can manifest whatever the fuck they want instantly. Do you think when God said “Let there be light”, he first asked people around him if he could? No. He took that shit and just fucking ran with it.

“But-but, what if-”

Uh-uh. I don’t want to fucking hear it. Like I said in the previous section, stop overthinking everything you do. Just go. Run with what you already know and manifest the life of your dreams. You don’t need to keep looking for new information, some specific post that changes everything for you. All they can do for you is steer you in the right direction. You’re the one who’s going to have to figure out our mindset and pull yourself together, no one else can do it. Take back your power, embrace it. I don’t care if you unfollow every single loa account or delete tumblr, just stop looking for the next post. Why would you need more information when you already have everything you need?

I wrote down everything I struggled with, forgot about it, and continued to persist in my new mindset. I ignored any negative 3d circumstances, and just vibed in the feeling that my desires were already here, that feeling of contentment someone has when everything in their life is just amazing. The main question I asked myself was, what would a person who had ____ think, and I went from there. Soon the things I wanted just started popping up in my life, just as I knew it would. I feel like the things I’ve said in this post are pretty much the same concepts you see all over loa tumblr, which is why it’s so important that you actively take in the information that’s being given to you and actually apply it. I was obsessed with tumblr and kept on scrolling through countless blogs and posts, and I was only able to fully manifest after I stepped away from all of that. There is no big secret. There’s no miraculous method that will fix everything for you. There’s just... you. And your subconscious. Whatever you tell your subconscious, goes. As simple as that.

How about, instead of scrolling to whatever next loa post you were about to see on this app, you close tumblr and just go live your best life? Don’t overcomplicate it and just do whatever feels natural to you. I hope this post helped, happy manifesting!

-cinna

[vettelsdarling]

Could you please do a Charles x Schumacher!reader insta au? Where she’s a chef and they both do a soft launch. I don’t really have much of an idea but can you make it a bit long? Not like with text but just a lot of posts? I hope I’m requesting right lol

I really liked your Danny insta au

Crème De La Crème, Ma Chérie

Lissie note… I really like the idea of reader being a chef! Haven’t seen that before??? You’re giving me a lot of creative freedom and I could not be happier<3 Thanks for this!!!

Few things to note:

Reader is Mick’s twin sister, and Gina’s younger sister.

Reader is a Michelin star chef (one star)

Reader is famous (obviously)

This follows the 2022 season

Reader and Charles have been dating since the beginning of the 2021 season (1 year)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Fem!Chef!Reader

Warnings: Some cursing, gut wrenching fluff

Here's the playlist recommendations

y/nschumacher

Liked by charles_leclerc, mickschumacher, gina_schumacher and 836,236 others

y/nschumacher Movie date and a home-cooked meal for him❤️

View all comments

mickschumacher You should invite us over for dinner soon… miss your cooking🙏

gina_schumacher Yes pleaseee!!

francisca.cgomes AHHH it looks SO GOOD😩 Where’s my share?🤨

user1 great dinner but WHO IS THAT🫣🫣🫣

user2 She’s allowed to date yk

user1 no need to be rude. I was just wondering who it was…

user3 It’s clearly a boyfriend that she doesn’t wanna reveal or something

user4 A SOFT LAUNCH???😭

user5 MOTHER NOOO😭😭😭😭

user6 Byebye… to my parasocial relationship…

user7 I haven’t seen her like this before and idk if I like it😭

user8 He never has to pay for dinner again💀💀💀

charles_leclerc

Liked by pierregasly, y/nschumacher and 1,184,339 others

charles_leclerc Tough weekend so far but we’ll improve for the next weekend.

View all comments

y/nschumacher Good luck next week!

user1 Somebody save him😭❤️

user2 y/n in the comments?

user3 She switched from Haas to Ferrari💀 Wonder what Mick has to say about that

user2 omg💀💀💀

user4 Seems suspicious…

user3 I mean, I don’t think so? She’s great friends with everyone on the track.

user5 Not Ferrari again😭😭😭 WHYYY

user6 Atp I don’t even wanna watch the races anymore😭 It’s just depression on a screen😭😭😭

user7 Ferrari is making him delusional💀 No way they’re ever gonna improve…

user8 I’m still hopeful😞🫶

user9 Tbh I’ve given up

y/nschumacher

Liked by mickschumacher, charles_leclerc and 735,229 others

y/nschumacher November dump🌅🍂 He tried to challenge my cooking. Bold move, sir… bold move.

View all comments

mickschumacher I doubt it tasted good😒

y/nschumacher It was actually really good

mickschumacher Biased.

y/nschumacher 🙄

carlossainz55 It was nice having you in the Ferrari garage for a change

Liked by y/nschumacher

gina_schumacher I miss you :/

y/nschumacher I’m coming to visit soon🫶

gina_schumacher You better

maxverstappen1 Red Bull > Ferrari

y/nschumacher No.

user1 since when did she become a Ferrari girl—

user2 wtaf is going on😭

user3 why are there so many drivers in her comments all of a sudden💀

user4 she’s soft launching. Mother is soft launching.

user5 Please leave him for me❤️

user6 No she’s leaving him for me😒

user7 Um no. She’s obviously leaving him for me🙄

user8 You’re all wrong. It’s always been me.

user9 Okay but whoever she’s dating is so lucky. Home-cooked Michelin meals? That’s literally living my dream.

user10 Ugh it’s so unfair. This guy should be ashamed he stole a national treasure

user11 I second that statement

user12 What’s with the new insta era😭 Pls post more food pics😔

wagsoff1

56,297 likes

wagsoff1 You heard it here first…

View all comments

user1 EXCUSE ME???? THIS WAS A YEAR AGO???

user2 wtaf this came out of nowhere…

user3 but where’s the proof😭

user4 It’s probably fake since there’s no proof

user5 I bet all the 13 yr olds and their parasocial relationships are disintegrating rn

user6 yeah um I won’t believe it until I see it💀

charles_leclerc

Liked by y/nschumacher and 855,970 others

charles_leclerc Drank some wine and went out for dinner for the first time in a long time😘

View all comments maxverstappen1 Wine and oysters, but you didn’t invite me…

charles_leclerc Sorry mate. Next time!

pierregasly Thanks for the date idea mate

Liked by charles_leclerc

user1 ig @ wagsoff1 was right

user2 Why am I crying

user3 This is genuinely so cute🤍

user4 His gf is so lucky

user5 WHO IS ITTTT

user6 Honestly, we should just look out for her at the paddock.

user7 We gotta wait for the next season for that…

user6 I forgot😭 I don’t want to wait so long ughhh

user8 Well, there goes my husband.

user9 Does anyone know who it is?

user10 I have an idea it’s someone we all know…

user9 Who?

user10 Dms

francisca.cgomes

Liked by y/nschumacher and 84,293 others

Tagged: y/nschumacher

View all comments

francisca.cgomes Girls night🥂🪩

y/nschumacher Same time next week?

francisca.cgomes Obviously🤍

pierregasly You cancelled date night for this?

francisca.cgomes It’s. Girls. Night.

pierregasly Understandable, have a nice day.

user1 IN LOVE WITH THIS FRIENDSHIP

user2 Me and my bestie when exam season is over:

user3 Literally

user4 Since when did they start hanging out🫣

user5 They’ve been friends for a long time, actually💀

user4 Oh okay I didn’t know😭

user5 Two pretty best friends🫶

y/nschumacher

Liked by charles_leclerc, gina_schumacher, mickschumacher and 763,298 others

Tagged: gina_schumacher

y/nschumacher I should stick to cooking… fell off so many times. How do you do it???

View all comments

gina_schumacher You’ll get there with practice!

y/nschumacher If I mount another horse, I will die.

charles_leclerc I’m sure you did great❤️

y/nschumacher I didn’t, but thank you❤️

mickschumacher Watching you fall was great entertainment

y/nschumacher At least I didn’t refuse to get on the horse😒

user1 WHAT WHAT WHATTTTT CHARLES??? THE HEARTS????

user2 wtaf this is insane😭

user3 is this their idea of a soft launch wtf😭

user4 they really just act as if it’s known💀💀

user 3 Literally💀

user5 so basically, Charles and Y/n?

user6 That explains why Charles wrote that one caption

user5 what caption?

user6 The one where he said he hadn’t been out for dinner in a long time

user5 whaaaat you’re right

user7 How did we not see this coming…

user8 I mean, they might not be dating? They could just be close friends…

user9 Nah, there’s no way

user8 You don’t know that

charles_leclerc

Liked by y/nschumacher, pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 1,173,994 others

charles_leclerc She took me wine shopping…

View all comments y/nschumacher She looks like she knows what she’s doing

charles_leclerc I hope she knows..?

maxverstappen1 Mate, she’s a keeper.

charles_leclerc I know

user1 Charles pls😭 We all know that’s Y/n

user2 I’ve been living under a rock. What’s going on???

user3 Y/n Schumacher is a Michelin chef (and also Mick’s sister). Basically there are rumours that Charles is dating her. They haven’t confirmed it, but it’s pretty obvious by their soft launch…

user2 I was gone for a few months from social media and this is what I come back to?😭

user4 Charles has taste

user5 She’s literally a goddess

user6 Ugh he’s so lucky but she’s also lucky… idk who I want to be. Both???

user7 relatable.

charles_leclerc and y/nschumacher

Liked by mickschumacher, y/nschumacher, maxverstappen1 and 1,482,663 others

charles_leclerc I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve had so much fun with you this past year. Happy 2 years anniversary❤️ Tu es créme de la créme, ma chérie❤️

Comments have been limited

y/nschumacher Mein Süßer❤️

Liked by charles_leclerc

mickschumacher Congrats guys!

francisca.cgomes This is so cute😭❤️

gina_schumacher So happy for you guys🤍

maxverstappen1 Congrats!

pierregasly When’s the wedding?

francisca.cgomes Don’t push them like that

pierregasly Sorry.

francisca.cgomes No, I actually also want to know @ y/nschumacher🤨

y/nschumacher Wedding??! Too early… but maybe we’ll start talking over a steak dinner…

𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻...

𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚!

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

©vettelsdarling

𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘆, 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗲, 𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺— 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻.

[yanderederee]

Hi there! Can i please request Yandere Kazutora with letter H?

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Oh boy… Karutora is delusional and dangerous if he’s tested. Any little thing will set him off even normally, but if you deliberately did something to get a reaction out of him? Babes, welcome to hell.

The worst thing you could do to him is make him feel like you will leave him. Kazutora needs you to only think about him, rely on only him, forget everyone else, and hold him close to your heart. That’s not so hard. And he loves the way you will always validate him when he shows you those puppy eyes begging for your attention.

Hypothetically; let’s say you pulled a harmless prank, sent him the “My boyfriend just left, you can come over now♡” prank text.

It’s over. Doesn’t text back. Immediately turns around, and slams the door wide open with a crazed blank stare. He’s pissed Off. You’re actually scared, despite claiming he could never do anything to make you feel that way. He slams the door shut and locks it, comes over to you, and puts his hands round your throat.

Even when you try to explain that it was a prank, there was no one else, you didn’t have any intentions of inviting anyone— None of your empty words mean anything to him. He’s delusional and doesn’t believe you.

You can’t tease him like that. He’s not okay.

“Who is he? I’ll kill him. Did you think this would be funny? A prank? Am I just a joke to you, something you can laugh at once you become bored? I don’t understand. It’s not funny.”

You’ve broken him. It only takes that one time to completely make him snap. Kazutora feels hurt simply by the thought of you leaving him for another person. And after making him even slightly believe it could be true?

You’re not leaving your (now shared) living space for a long, long time. He’s broken your phone, and if you attempt to retaliate, Kazutora in his blacked out state doesn’t have the willpower to hold back from hitting you. He’s made it plenty of mistakes while in blackout rage, and he’s wanted to grow from those mistakes and be better. But old habits aren’t easy to change.

You think it’s been a month before you see Kazutora smile again, and treat you with care. The hell he put you through had finally come to pass. All the bruises he’d left on you had finally healed, and if he decides to let you both go outside (for a date), no one would be able to tell you’d been locked up for weeks. Kazutora may appear the same on the outside, but you know what kind of monster lerks inside him.

Don’t make him feel like that again.

[cinnajun]

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: 365 days | pgw

summary | the first year of your relationship with park gunwook, quantified by 12 separate events.

genre | park gunwook x fem!reader, high school!au, very slice of life, fluff, angst, y/n is bisexual, roughly 1 month has passed in between every part

warnings | jealousy + attempted sabotage, the horrors of girlhood (insecurity, slight mention of beauty standards, comparison)

wc | 12.7k

a/n: if you listen close enough you can hear me screaming in agony ++ can someone please remind me how to think up ideas that don't require several thousands of words

ft. youngeun and yeseo from kep1, boys planet/redstartz junhyeon, ppl i made up

i. confession

Tears bunch in your eyes as you sit behind your school building, the intensifying heat of spring embracing you like a warm hug. You feel devastated like someone had just stabbed you through the heart and left you to bleed.

“I think you’re overreacting, [First].” Youngeun’s voice is gravelly over the phone yet still uneasy, overall impacted by the sound of her gym class. Yeseo, who’s sitting next to you, hummed, although you weren’t sure if she was agreeing with Youngeun or not. “I mean, is it so bad he knows? It was bound to happen, probably.”

“Well, no, it wasn’t,” you stuttered, trying to keep the urge to sob and scream at bay. “And, to be fair, that’s not what I’m worried about. I’m worried about what else Yukyung was telling people without me knowing.”

Youngeun begins to speak but doesn’t get more out than a squeak, and you can almost imagine her opening and closing her mouth in an instant. Yeseo picks up the slack, saying, “Well, it’s worse to assume than to deal with the facts. Yukyung, for whatever reason, told Gunwook about your crush on him and showed him the texts, and it’s getting out among our classmates. In my opinion, there’s one course of action you should take.”

“Which is?”

“Youngeun tells Gunwook that you want to talk to him after school, and then you talk to him after school.”

You groaned audibly and Youngeun gasped, presumably in horror. You stared at her in exasperation, letting a single tear fall down your face. Yeseo wiped it off with her cardigan’s sleeve, frowning at you. “I mean, the worst that could happen is that he doesn’t feel the same way and you feel embarrassed for a couple of months. And we all unfriended Yukyung pretty much instantly, so she won’t be around anymore.”

“Doesn’t matter, still happened,” you replied. “I don’t want to see him ever again. I’d rather die than see him again.”

Yeseo put a hand on your back, while Youngeun yelped at the sound of a basketball hitting the closet she was hiding in. “I’ll ask him, and you’re gonna do it, [First]. You can’t skip a week of school during the first week of school.”

“Who said I was going to skip?”

“Every time you’re minorly embarrassed by something you skip school,” Yeseo said, looking at you like you were insane. “Like that one time you got a bad score on our math midterms during our first year and the teacher asked you what happened in front of everyone, so you skipped 2 days and sulked in your room.”

“That was warranted,” Youngeun commented, which caused Yeseo to glare at the phone. “But! Not the point. For all you know, Gunwook could like you back, and you’ll be able to say you had a boyfriend in high school. Right?”

“The chances of that are incredibly low,” you whined, drawing your knees up to your chest and burying your head in between them. “We’ve barely even talked. We just sit kind of next to each other during our cram classes, and that’s it.”

“He could be delusional too!”

“Are you calling me delusional?”

“The bell is about to ring,” Yeseo cut in, grabbing your phone out of your hands. You immediately popped out of your fetal position, reaching for it as quickly as you could. “Youngeun, leave the supply closet and ask him, please. Pick a location and text the groupchat. [First] and I have to go back to the classroom so we don’t get in trouble for skipping our study block.”

With that, she hung up and left you to your devices. The day passed agonizingly slowly after that, and you found yourself struggling to focus on anything your teacher said. At some point during your study block, Yukyung had left, leaving you alone at your desk with no seatmate to annoy or watch (not that you wanted her there, anyway) for the day. That was likely out of embarrassment, too, as now your classmates, who generally liked you, weren’t as sure on how to deal with the newfound information.

The only other thing worth noting was that, during your 5-minute break in between classes, Yeseo told your homeroom teacher what happened and she approved you switching hers and Yukyung’s desks after school, but, other than that, you felt your sanity whittling away by the minute.

Youngeun had haphazardly chosen a tree behind the gym, typically reserved for successful confessions, because she’d been staring at it out the window as she talked to Gunwook (which she described as the scariest conversation of her life) and didn’t know where else would work.

According to her, he’d blushed as she asked, accepting on the pretense that it wouldn’t take long because he promised his older brother that he’d get dinner with him that night. Initially, you lamented over the fact that you wouldn’t have anyone to stare at during your after-school classes, but it quickly dawned on you that he thought you were going to confess to him (which was true—you were going to confess to him).

Then, when you got done with class for the day, one of your classmates—Gyuvin—hit you on the shoulder on the way out with a quick “good luck!”

It took Yeseo dragging you to the gym and offering you $20 and a free fun drink afterward for you to get used to the idea you were doing this, and about another 3 minutes of you panicking at her in a hushed whisper while she told you to get over yourself. Then, Youngeun sprinted over, panting and still half in her gym clothes.

“You didn’t change after gym?”

“Not the focus! You’re actively making him wait!” she choked out, apparently exhausted from her mad dash. You rolled your eyes, dropping your bag down next to them and taking a deep breath.

“If I throw up on him, I’m going to kill you.”

With that, you began your death march to the tree, where Gunwook stood, scrolling through his phone. The sight of him made your stomach explode with butterflies, which you tried to shut down given your (supposed) fate of rejection. You were mentally preparing yourself to be in turmoil for the next few days, but deep down, all you wanted was to rewind time to when you told Yukyung about your silly, little crush and stop it from ever happening.

Your crush on Gunwook was never meant to go anywhere but your brain, and now you were walking up to him, about to pour out feelings that were half-manufactured by Yukyung convincing there was a future that would come with them.

“Hi,” you managed, causing Gunwook to spin around and shove his phone in his pocket.

“Hi,” he replied, scratching his neck as if he was unsure what to do with his hands. “Um, how are you?”

It was a stupid question, and you could tell he knew that. Of course you wouldn’t be doing well—one of your best friends told the entire world (him, and then one of his friends leaked it to the rest of the school) your entire life story (a single crush).

“Could be better.”

“Yeah.”

You looked off to the side, seeing Gyuvin and Junhyeon, who you knew were close to him, watching from a second-story window in the school building. You tried to ignore it, but you knew you’d hyperfocus on it now.

“Look, I’m sorry,” you finally breathed out, twiddling your thumbs. “Yukyung—I don’t know what to say that you don’t already know. I guess I have a bit of a crush on you. Sorry.”

“Sorry? Why are you sorry?” he asked, sounding genuinely perplexed. You looked back up at him, shrugging.

“Well, it’s weird. We don’t really know each other, and then a girl you don’t know very well is suddenly telling you that I’m head over heels for you.”

“You’re not?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say it that way, no. Just a crush. Not much else.”

You thought there would be a weight off your shoulders once you managed to say it to his face, but it was, quite literally, the opposite. Your stomach was tightening up and your throat was closing, but you didn’t move, just staring him in the face.

“So it would be awkward if I professed my undying love for you right now.”

You flinched at that, frowning. “That was kind of mean.”

Gunwook’s face dropped when you said that, and he shook his head rapidly. “No, not—I wasn’t making fun of you, I swear. I promise. It was a bad way of saying I have a crush on you too. Sorry. Uncalled for. Didn’t mean it.”

The words fell from his mouth like an avalanche, and all you could do was stare at him in awe. “Wait, really? Why?”

“Why? I don’t know. We spend a lot of time together, even if we don’t talk often,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “We were in the same class for our first year, then we started at the same cram school, and now we sit near each other. You’re entertaining to watch when you’re taking notes.”

“You stare at me in class?” you asked, genuinely shocked at his admission. You thought you stared at him enough during the same classes that it was impossible he could’ve been doing the same thing. Apparently, he was good at catching you when you weren’t watching his every move. “Creep.”

“Like you don’t? If I’m a creep, what are you? You’re way worse than I am,” he replied. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. What now?”

You tapped your chin, looking back over at the window Gyuvin and Junhyeon had been in. They were gone now, presumably to meet Gunwook when your conversation was over. “We could try being a ‘thing.’”

“A thing?”

“I don’t think we know each other well enough for like—I don’t know, for me to call you boyfriend,” you replied. “So we can just be a ‘thing.’ No strings attached! And we can go on a date or two. Maybe.”

“A date or two? Whereabouts?”

You smiled, and he did too; you were shocked at how well he managed to goad information out of you. You tended to say things but never follow up on them, not unless you were pestered over and over again—it had taken Yeseo nearly a year to get it down.

“Do you like the zoo? Recently, I’ve been wanting to go to the zoo. They have a new baby bear—cub?—that I wanna see. Perhaps on Sunday? Are you free then?”

“I might be free on Sunday,” he said, handing his phone out of his pocket. He unlocked it, pressing a couple of buttons before handing it to you with an empty contact screen open. “How about we talk about it later? I’m late for meeting my brother.”

You typed in your name and number, sending yourself a quick text so you’d be able to initiate if you felt he didn’t text you fast enough. “Sounds good to me. I’ll see you later. Tell your brother I said hello.”

“Okay, sounds good,” Gunwook chuckled. He reached out and ruffled your hair, giving you a wide, bright smile that could’ve overpowered the sun if he tried hard enough. “I’ll see you later, so we can start our ‘thing.’”

“Yup, bye-bye. See you tomorrow.”

ii. lunchtime

You and Gunwook, mostly on purpose, don’t spend a lot of time together at school. Sometimes, you say hi and smile at him when you walk into his classroom to grab Youngeun, but, other than that, you keep it separate.

For one thing, it makes it easier to keep it “no strings attached,” as you’d proclaimed the day Yukyung briefly ruined your life, but it also was somewhat fun for you and him to not address what happened. Thanks to Gyuvin, half—if not all—of your grade had heard about it, and someone had spotted the both of you under that god-forsaken tree, but you hadn’t said a thing.

For you two, it was like nothing had happened, and, for everyone else, it was like a bomb they were just hoping would go off. It was fun—like you were living out a cliche, teen drama.

So, when Gunwook sauntered into your classroom in the middle of your lunch period, proudly holding a bottle of special juice you briefly talked about wanting, you were somewhat shocked. For the most part, you weren’t mentally prepped to interact with him during the day, especially as Yukyung watched on with her new couple of friends from the corner of the room.

You, Youngeun, and Yeseo stared at him as he approached, Gyuvin following close behind. He put the drink down in front of you, a proud smile on his face. “Look,” he said, gesturing towards it, so you looked. It was a brand of juice—they advertised it as a “smoothie,” but it was just slightly thicker juice—that you’d enjoyed a lot on a trip to the United States that you’d gone on a while back.

You hadn’t seen it once in Korea, even after taking Yeseo with you to search for it for hours. “Where in the world did you get this?” you spluttered out, picking it up. It was chilled, too, as if he’d been keeping it in a refrigerator (or, an insulated lunch box with an ice pack in it).

“He didn’t,” Gyuvin snorted, putting an arm around Gunwook’s shoulder. “Junhyeon did while he was in Busan this weekend.”

Gunwook hit him hard on the chest, clearing his throat. “Do you like it? Are you excited?”

“The right flavor and everything,” you replied, a surge of joy running through you. “Thank Junhyeon for me, okay?”

Gunwook scoffed, mumbling, “It’s not like I didn’t pay him back twice the price or anything,” under his breath. You held up your fist, to which Gunwook stared at it, somewhat dumbfounded.

“What?”

“You want a fist bump from me?” he asked incredulously. You nodded, exaggerating the movements to make it seem like he was missing the obvious. So, he bumped your fist with his, shaking his head. “See you after school, [First].”

“Yup, I’ll see you.”

And you watched him walk out, Gyuvin in tow—and, from the corner of your eye, you saw Yukyung watching his every move, up until he left the classroom.

iii. field trip

The third-year field trip was something you’d looked forward to for a long time—as a way to force students to take a break from their studying, your school sent all the first years to some fun location, paying for most of it with donations they got from alumni and parents.

This year, they’d had the bright idea to send you all to Hawaii, which had been both shocking and exciting. The farthest they’d ever sent anyone was Jeju, and that was a few years ago; but, they’d got some huge donation this year and decided to splurge.

So far, the trip had been fun, for the most part. On the airplane, you’d forced Gunwook to sit next to you so that you could hold his hand every time the plane shook (he’d laughed at you over your fear of turbulence, but you were too aware of the fact that he was rubbing your hand with his thumb to care). Almost all of your classmates, to whom you had not disclosed the nature of your “thing” yet, had stared at you every time they walked past. About halfway through, Youngeun, who’d volunteered to be the third wheel, leaned over and told you she was pretty sure the news was making its way down the plane, and people were getting up to fact-check it for the row members.

“That’s stupid,” Gunwook laughed, pulling your hand onto his tray table. “Doesn’t everyone know [First] is just afraid of planes? Nothing else going on here, not at all.”

Then Yeseo had popped her head above her seat and turned around to face you, an eyebrow raised. “Have you two kissed yet?” she’d asked out of nowhere, to which you shrugged.

“Why would we kiss when nothing is going on?”

Then, upon arrival, you and Gunwook had sat next to one another on the bus to the hotel, to which you’d promptly fallen asleep on his shoulder (since you didn’t sleep much on the plane) for the entire ride. You woke up to him holding your hand again, scrolling through his phone haphazardly.

After that, you’d had all eyes on the both of you—when you got to the hotel, while you were listening to your teachers give instructions, while keys were being handed out. And, as a result of what you assumed was anxiety over not knowing English, Gunwook and his two friends, Junhyeon and Gyuvin, followed you, Yeseo, and Youngeun around for the entire trip.

Then, on the third day of the trip, Gunwook asked if you’d want to go on a date with him. The idea was silly to you—not because you didn’t want to, but because you were two teenagers going on a date on your almost-all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii.

That’s what you were doing now. It was the day before you were to head back home, and Gunwook had, for lack of a better word, taken you out. To a fancy restaurant—where he made you translate the entire menu and order for him—and to get some sort of fancy pineapple dessert afterward. Now, you were strolling on the beach, watching the sun fall below the horizon slowly but surely.

“How much longer until curfew?” you asked, turning around to face him. You continued walking backward, lacing your hands together behind your back.

“About half an hour. We’re close enough to the hotel that we don’t have to start walking back now, but we should think about it soon.”

You hummed, stopping abruptly. You faced the shoreline, listening to the sound of the waves draw in and out like breaths from a sleeping person. It was so alive, yet not at the same time, and it mesmerized you; you’d never seen an ocean like this before.

“You look pretty tonight,” he mused, staring at you rather than the ocean. You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the comment.

“Look at yourself in the mirror.”

“I’m not pretty, I’m beautiful, thank you very much.”

A question was bubbling up in your throat now, much like the water in front of you. You felt a surge of anxiety wash through your stomach, and you were mentally transported back to that tree from a couple of months ago. The pure embarrassment you felt was gone and replaced with a sort of hope that was more painful than uplifting, as if it was a glass cup teetering on the edge of a table.

“I have a question,” you started, banishing the unease from your stomach.

“Oh, yeah?” he asked, raising his eyebrow. He wouldn’t look away from you, no matter how much you tried to focus on the sight in front of you. A crooked smile bloomed on his face which should’ve quelled your worries in an instant, but, for some reason, it only made them worse. “I suppose I have an answer for you.”

“Do you?”

“I just might, if you manage to ask the question.”

“Okay, here I go,” you said, mustering up all your courage and turning to face him. His eyes sparkled in the sunlight, and you immediately felt discouraged just looking at him. He was right—he was beautiful, almost impossibly so. Yet, here you were, boring and average, barely even able to hold a T to him. Plus, the only reason you were even here was because someone you’d considered a best friend had told him you liked him, and now you were getting into your head over something that was long over.

His smile dropped a bit when he (most likely) realized you were panicking a bit, but he didn’t say anything, simply waiting patiently for you to continue. You forced yourself to regain focus, shaking your head as the image of Yukyung permeated in your mind. He grabbed both of your hands as a way to help soothe the worry, and it worked as well as it could, pulling you back into reality.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend, maybe?” you finally asked, watching as his face lit up against the sun.

“Do I?” he asked back, allowing himself to smile fully. “This is the best question I’ve ever been asked. Seriously.”

“Seriously?”

Gunwook giggled, swinging your hands around a bit. “Can I kiss you? Pretty please?”

“Can you?” you mimicked, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks. Gunwook giggled again, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips. It was slow and sweet, his lips soft and tasting slightly of the pineapple you’d had earlier. He laughed and smiled through the entire thing, squeezing your hands in delight before letting go and wrapping his hands around your waist. As cliche as it was, you draped your hands around his neck, starting to giggle too.

When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against yours, still chuckling in delight. “This is so exciting,” he said, rocking you back and forth on the sand. “I’m so excited. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for my entire life, you know? Even if I’ve only known you for three years. I can’t explain it—it’s unexplainable. I’m so excited.”

“You know what, I’m getting the idea you might be excited.”

And Gunwook shut you up with another elated kiss, ending your night in an impenetrable wall of pure joy.

iv. sleepover

Your parents were adventurers and you decidedly weren’t, which often meant you had your house to yourself. It was nice, mostly because it allowed you to spread out all your study stuff on the dining room table and do all of your work right then and there without your parents talking to you every 20 seconds.

Sometimes, though, things didn’t go as planned, and you had to do things you didn’t want to do. Namely, spend the night in the house completely alone. Every creak or thump made your heart beat out of your chest, which ended up in you taking a knife and a flashlight through the entire house with the emergency number pre-dialed.

Oftentimes, it ended with you not sleeping and then having to miss school because of over-exhaustion.

You were sitting in your living room while on the phone with Gunwook (he claimed you were moral support for his studying) when your mom texted you, the message starting with a bunch of emojis, which was her way of beginning a message with bad news.

“Oh god,” you said, cutting through the hour-long silence you’d maintained with your boyfriend.

“Huh? What’s up?”

“My mom texted me. There’s some huge accident on the freeway, so they’ve got the entire thing blocked off. Traffic is awful on other routes so they’re just going to pull off to a motel and sleep there tonight.”

“Oh no,” he said, and you could tell he was preoccupied with whatever math problem he was doing. “House to yourself, I guess?”

“I’m glad it’s Saturday,” you said, frowning. “I’m not gonna get any sleep tonight.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t like being completely alone in the house. I’m convinced someone’s gonna come in and kill me.”

“Hmm,” Gunwook hummed, pausing briefly. “I could come over and stay the night? I’ll leave early in the morning so they don’t find out I was there.”

Realistically, you knew you should say no because the chance of your parents finding out about Gunwook terrified you, but you had poor judgment and liked your boyfriend too much to turn down seeing him. “Would you actually? It’s kind of late, and I wouldn’t want to make you walk that much in the dark.”

“It’s not that far of a walk,” he said, and you could hear him packing his school stuff already. The sound of pencils clinking against pencils and books closing made you feel all warm and fuzzy—instead of studying for the test that was going to decide his fate as an adult, he was coming to make sure you felt comfortable and safe.

“Oh yeah, because 30 minutes is ‘not that far.’ Just get it over with and tell me you’re in love with me.”

Gunwook cleared his throat at your quip, choking on air. You snickered, finding how flustered he got at the “L-word” quite cute (as if you wouldn’t do the same thing). “I’ll be there shortly.”

He hung up the phone without saying bye, most likely out of embarrassment, which made you feel proud of yourself. And, true to his word, he showed up about fifty minutes later, balancing his school backpack on one arm and another bag on the other. “Do you know how hard it is to jump out of your window with two bags?” he asked, walking into your house as if it was his own. You wondered if he cared about the fact that he’d never actually been inside before, given he’d only ever walked you home, but you assumed his unwillingness to do his usual hello-and-hug meant he was somewhat flustered by it.

“Are you moving in, or something? What’s in the bags?”

“Well, I can’t stay the night without all my nighttime stuff,” he huffed, breezing past you and dropping his bags off next to the stairs. You watched him look around frantically, and you somewhat assumed that he’d hung up on you because he’d realized what exactly he had suggested and had no way of backing out of it now (you hoped he hadn’t even thought about backing out).

“You’re such a diva,” you scoffed, shuffling back into your living room and returning to your position on the couch. He sat next to you, leaning against the armrest and putting his legs on top of yours. You rolled your eyes, picking up the remote and pressing play.

“So, what are we watching?”

“Whatever romcom was playing when I turned the TV on,” you replied, keeping your focus on the screen. Suddenly you were feeling embarrassed even though you’d been feeling so egotistical a second ago, as you were realizing you were in more danger here than he was. He’d successfully snuck out (or so he said, but you were pretty sure he probably told his mom and then snuck out the window to avoid his dad finding out), but your parents lived here, and if they got here before you were expecting them, it was over for you.

It dawned on you that you needed to find out when they were planning on getting back, so you wrenched your phone out of your pocket, furiously typing to your mother. Gunwook noticed, pointing at you and laughing. “You were so high and mighty a second ago, and now look at you. Somebody realized they’re going to be in bigger shit than I am.”

“Shut your mouth,” you hissed, watching the little bubble that indicated your mom was typing.

“Maybe we should send her a selfie, huh? Just so she knows a random teenage boy that she doesn’t know is in her house,” Gunwook continued, sucking all of the confidence you’d once had out of the air. “She’d be super excited, right?”

“If you’re not out of my house by 5:30 tomorrow morning, I’m going to break up with you,” you announced, glaring at him. He made a face at you, shaking his head.

“Be glad I like you so much. Waking up at 5:30 is brutal. I didn’t even do that when Gyuvin got his appendix out and texted me thirty times to ask if I’d be there when he got out of surgery.”

“You liar, Gyuvin literally told me that you showed up with flowers and a get-well-soon card.”

Gunwook blushed at that, clearing his throat. “Okay, whatever, fine. Let’s just watch the movie.”

The two of you got about twenty minutes of the romcom in before he checked the time and announced that you were both going to sleep. You said he could go on his own—midnight was early for both of you, and you weren’t the one waking up at 5:30—but he got all whiney, turning the TV off and picking you up from the couch.

You’d gone through the motions of your nighttime routine together, with Gunwook’s being about fifty steps longer than yours. You ended up sitting on the floor while he put on a million serums and waited thirty minutes in between each one, claiming it was to “let each product soak into his skin.”

You texted Youngeun and Yeseo about it, not thinking about the implications behind waiting for him to finish his skincare routine. Immediately, they began blowing up your phone, and you promptly muted your group chat and their individual text threads, not wanting to deal with the onslaught of questions they were likely unleashing onto you.

Then, you looked up to see Gunwook putting on a lip mask. Knowing it was probably the last step in his routine, you hopped up from the floor, staring at the small, pink container that the gel lived in. “Oh, I’ve always wanted to try that out,” you said, not thinking about it too hard. “Is it nice? Does it work?”

“Shouldn’t you know better than anyone whether it works or not?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. You slapped him hard on the shoulder, causing him to yelp in pain. “Okay, geez, yes, it works. Do you want to try some?”

“Oh, can I—”

Before you could even finish your sentence, Gunwook leaned down and kissed you somewhat hard, almost causing you to stumble back a bit. Either way, you almost immediately broke it off, incredibly flustered at the act. You slapped him again, although this time it was a million times weaker. “You’re so stupid, oh my god, you cliche loser.”

“Be grateful I was willing to give you any, this stuff is expensive,” Gunwook said, cackling. He put a bit more on his finger, rubbing it into his lips to compensate for what he lost from kissing you. “I thought you liked kissing me, no?”

“I also like the thought of you getting hit by a train. These things aren’t mutually exclusive,” you huffed, looking to the side. “Whatever. I’m going to my room.”

“Ooh, me too,” he said, draping an arm around your shoulders as you walked past him. He kept himself in step with you, flicking the bathroom light switch off as you both exited the room.

“Who said we’re sleeping in the same room?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. Gunwook laughed in your face, causing you to frown.

“Okay, sure, but one noise and you’ll be prancing into the guest room like a scared dog.” “Who said I had a guest room? Go to the couch.” You wiggled out from under his arm, opening the door to your bedroom and flicking the lights on. Gunwook continued following after you, but quickly walked past you and climbed under the duvet on your bed. Somehow, he’d already plugged his phone in and put his bags neatly in the corner of your room—it must’ve been when he walked out to grab his toner pads from his bag—and had settled into your bedroom quite nicely. You stared at him in awe as he yawned, patting the bed next to him.

“It’s bedtime.”

“For you.”

He laughed at you again, patting the bed once more. You shut your bedroom door behind you, turning your phone’s flashlight on and turning the lights off as soon as they’d come on. You shuffled over to the bed, sliding in next to him and cuddling up to him. He reciprocated, putting an arm on your waist and giggling.

“You giggle too much.”

“Good night, [First]. I won’t wake you up tomorrow morning, but I’ll be out by 5:30. Promise.”

Even though you weren’t tired, you fell asleep like a baby next to Gunwook, basking in the warmth he brought. You were pretty sure you’d fallen asleep before him, actually, but you swore up and down it was because he’d been humming to you and rubbing your back in a way that was more relaxing than you would’ve liked it to be.

So, when you woke up the next morning, the sun barely peeking through your curtains, to find him gone, you felt relief. You groaned, turning over to search for your phone, which was, as always, placed on your bedside table.

You picked it up, barely being able to make out the time—5:01 am. Huh, you thought, frowning. He left earlier than he needed.

And then you looked at your notifications—three texts from your mother.

2:34 am—Hi honey, the motel was uncomfortable and we couldn’t sleep, so we’re getting an early start. I know you get paranoid, and I hope you’re not awake, but texting to let you know just in case you are. Should be there about 4:30.

3:47 am—Update, we’ve hit some early traffic, so probably closer to 4:45. It might still be 4:30 if we’re lucky.

Finally, 4:11 am—We got lucky!!! We’ll be there in 10. Assuming you’re asleep…am glad. Can’t wait to be in my own bed.

You shot up from your bed, suddenly feeling more awake than you’d ever been in your life. With what little sunlight there was, you looked to the corner of the room, clearly seeing two black bags that didn’t belong to you. Then, an extra phone on your nightstand.

Panic set in. You, as quietly as you could, got out of bed, shuffling to the door. With a hand haphazardly placed on the knob, you pulled your door open, cringing at even the slightest of noises. You heard the sound of a glass hitting your table downstairs, and you felt like crying.

Slowly, you tiptoed down the stairs, catching sight of Gunwook, blue sweater on and exhaustion written on his face, sitting across from both of your parents. Breakfast was ready on the table, and Gunwook had a full plate in front of him, but it had barely been touched.

He noticed you first, looking up at you from the table. He looked violently uncomfortable, pleading for you to come save him, and you just about turned around and went back to your room.

“[First],” your dad said, turning his head to look at you. “Why don’t you come join us? I suppose you have a few things to explain.”

v. ice cream

You loved summer for a multitude of reasons—the lack of school, the increase in fun treats, and the overall happiness that came upon everyone during your one month off of responsibility. So, when you caught wind of a fair opening up, you knew you couldn’t pass up going.

Your first invites were Yeseo and Youngeun, since the three of you always spent your summers at amusement parks and pop-ups. But, they’d had the bright idea to invite along your boyfriend and his couple of friends—it would be okay, they said, since there’s three of you and three of them. So, you did, and you were entirely grateful that you had.

You didn’t know Gyuvin or Junhyeon very well before today; Gyuvin tended to follow Gunwook around, and Junhyeon had bought you juice once upon a time, but that was about it. It was the same for Gunwook and your couple of friends, as the most they’d interacted with him was on your plane ride to Hawaii.

Seeing your friends getting along with his warmed your heart, and it had put together a day you would never forget, most likely. About twenty minutes ago, your four accompaniments had made up some excuse as to why they needed to separate from the two of you, which had left you strolling through the fair as the sun was beginning to set.

The sky had erupted into a million different colors, namely pinks and purples, which you were particularly enamored by. You’d endearingly linked your arm with Gunwook’s and you’d been walking through the local artist alley that they’d put up.

“I’m glad it’s cooling down,” you said, staring at a booth where a woman was showing off all of her handmade jewelry pieces, which you found to be quite impressive. “As much fun as a fair is, it always sucks when it’s too hot to enjoy.”

“It wasn’t that hot today, though, was it?” he replied. “I mean, it got warm around 3, but that was just about it. I thought today was relatively tame compared to the rest of the week.”

“Okay, Fireboy, whatever you say. But, for the record, tame compared to the rest of the week doesn’t mean much when it was nearly 35° the other day,” you scoffed. Gunwook chuckled, and you looked over at him, intending on continuing to talk about the heat. But, a booth behind him caught your eye, distracting you from whatever you were planning on saying next.

You unlocked your arm from his, smiling mischievously at him. “Wait here,” you said excitedly, pulling your wallet out of your tote bag. You quickly walked over to the ice cream booth that you’d seen in the distance, the thought of how cold it would be tainting your mind. Even just a little bit of freedom from the heat was enough to sweep you off your feet, at this point.

“What would you like?” the server asked, to which you smiled at her, staring at the menu.

“Um, just two vanilla cones, please,” you said, realizing you had no clue what flavor of ice cream he’d even want. You hoped he didn’t have a terrible disdain for vanilla, but you doubted he did, given you’d never seen him actively dislike any food in your life. You got the amount of money it cost out of your wallet and placed it on the counter, shoving your wallet back in your bag.

The server handed them to you, and you thanked her, turning back around to hobble back to where you’d left Gunwook. And, as you did, you were met with quite possibly the worst sight in the world—he stood off to the side of the jewelry booth talking to someone. Namely, he was talking to Yukyung.

Of course she would be here—before she’d broken your trust, she tagged along on your summer adventures. She was your best friend once upon a time, and now, she was not much other than a bad memory, and she was talking to your boyfriend.

You didn’t know how to describe the feeling it evoked. It wasn’t jealousy—you knew what jealousy felt like, and this was too mellow and depressing to be jealousy. Yukyung looked gorgeous, as she always did, dressed in a pretty, flowy, red sundress that just barely brushed against the tops of her shoes. Her makeup was perfect and rosy to match the dress, and she’d braided white ribbon into her hair, which you thought made her look even more elegant than she had before.

Oh, you thought, biting your lip. This is inadequacy.

You watched them talk, and you watched the way she smiled and the way he seemed uncomfortable just from the way he stood. For a brief moment, you thought they even looked a bit good together, but that thought was quickly washed away when you felt ice cream drip onto your finger.

When you looked back up, she was gone, and Gunwook had gone back to lingering. You shook your head, jogging up to him with a smile. “Happy summer,” you said, handing it out to him. He smiled back at you, taking the ice cream cone from your hand.

“Thank you,” he said, taking a big bite straight from the top. You widened your eyes in shock and your face distorted into one of disgust.

“You bite ice cream?”

“And what about it? Do you have a problem with it?”

“Yeah, actually, I do. That’s weird and strange.”

“You know what else is weird and strange?”

“Huh?”

“The fact that you’re letting your ice cream melt all over your hand.”

vi. overwhelmed

You’re wondering how long you can get away with staying in the bathroom before someone notices that you’ve been gone for much longer than you were expecting. You hug your knees to your chest, playing a mindless game in hopes it’ll calm you down at least somewhat.

You knew this would happen at some point—every upperclassman you’d talked to told you that, in the months approaching your college entrance exams, your mental health would plummet. From panic attacks in the bathroom during math classes to not being able to fall asleep until four in the morning.

You just underestimated how much it sucked to feel like this in the first place. You’re no stranger to stress, that much is certain, but this was much more real. And, this sort of panic hit you anywhere and everywhere—including Gyuvin’s birthday party.

Briefly, you glanced at the time—8:02. You’d been in the bathroom for about 10 minutes, and nobody had come looking for you yet, which was good. The bad news was that you weren’t any closer to calming down and were feeling utterly helpless.

As if you’d jinxed yourself, Gunwook texted you at that very moment, asking where you’d gone. You half-assed your reply, saying you were still in the bathroom taking a break from the chaos, ignoring the temptation to ask him to come help you. It would be mean to Gyuvin and him—so, for the sake of your sanity, you’d stay quiet.

Meanwhile, Gunwook stood in one of Gyuvin’s hallways, staring at his phone. Junhyeon had followed him back as Gyuvin was well entertained by Ricky, who he hadn’t seen in nearly a year, and stood next to him, leaning against the wall.

“Things have been weird lately.” Gunwook frowned, reading over your text again and again. Junhyeon tilted his head inquisitively.

“Weird how?”

“Just…I don’t know, she’s been weirdly distant from time to time. Everything will be fine, and she’ll shut off with no warning. It happens no matter where we are, too—if we’re studying, if we’re walking home, if we’re eating dinner. It’s strange.”

“Could it just be test jitters? I know a lot of couples who broke up in anticipation of the test, with plans to get back together afterward. Like Yuna and Jaechan, in class 4. They did that.”

Gunwook’s frown deepend. “I don’t want to break up with her, though,” he sighed, watching as the typing bubble on your end appeared and disappeared. “Would it be weird to look for her? Like would she find that strange?”

“She probably walked off because she didn’t want to take you away from Gyuvin, but Ricky’s here now, so I don’t think it would be a bad idea, per se,” Junhyeon said, patting his shoulder. “But make sure she doesn’t feel bad taking you away from everything. I think Gyuvin would understand. And Ricky wants to meet her, so no harm in making sure nothing’s wrong.”

Gunwook bit the edge of his lip, shoving his phone into his pocket. Gunwook gave Junhyeon a pat on the shoulder, and he nodded, walking back toward the bulk of the party.

The bathroom was behind a bed sheet curtain that Gyuvin had hung up before the party, with a lame “do not enter” sign taped to it. He’d proceeded to give you, Gunwook, and Junhyeon special permission to break the rules, as the three of you had been in the house before and knew which rooms were okay to enter and which ones weren’t.

The door was closed and the light was on, which meant you’d gone out of your way to go to the off-limits bathroom, where Yeseo and Youngeun wouldn’t be able to find you. He frowned, raising his hand to knock on the door.

Then, he heard a small sniffle behind the door and stopped. Gunwook had never seen you cry—early into your relationship, you’d told him you weren’t a crier, and not many things pushed you to that point. At the time, it had been relieving, as he didn’t know you well enough to even attempt to comfort you.

But, now a good three months had passed, and he still had no clue what to do, which made him feel more stressed than relieved. Nevertheless, now that he knew, he couldn’t just leave you, so he knocked on the door.

Your response was, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Gunwook took that as an invitation to open the door, finding you sitting on the floor of Gyuvin’s bathroom while holding your phone. You weren’t crying, but he could tell you were close to it. He slipped inside, closing the door behind him, and sitting next to you on the ground.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, scooting closer to you so you’d be shoulder-to-shoulder. You shrugged, looking off to the side.

“I’m stressed. You know, with the college entrance exams and graduating stuff, the world is just a lot right now. I didn’t think it would hit here, though, but the number 18 being passed around made me think about it too much. It’s silly.”

“No, it’s not,” Gunwook replied. “It’s okay to be stressed out about something stressful, even if you’re at a birthday party. And it’s okay to tell me because Gyuvin’s friend came to surprise him after he moved to California, so he’s not upset that I’m gone. Okay?”

Your lip quivered a bit, and Gunwook put his arm around you, pressing you into his side. He rubbed your shoulder reassuringly as you sniffled again, obviously having to try harder to keep your feelings in.

At that moment, you wanted to spew everything at him. Your feelings of insecurity towards Yukyung, the stress you felt knowing he was going to get into some fancy university and you probably weren’t, how scary everything was right at this moment.

But, you stayed quiet and chose to burst into tears instead. The moment one tear escaped from your eye, the rest did, too, and you found yourself crying into Gunwook’s chest. He was rocking you back and forth, rubbing your back while you covered his shirt in your tears.

You felt miserable—if you could, you wanted to pause time, run outside, and scream. At what, you were unsure, but you needed it, more than you needed anything else in the entire world. You could only take this for so much longer.

“I’m here for you,” Gunwook whispered, squeezing you gently. “I’ll always be here, I promise.”

You took his words to heart.

vii. wisdom teeth

On day four of Gunwook’s wisdom-teeth recovery, you’d been asked to be his caregiver, which you were okay with. His mom, who was infinitely grateful that you’d offered to take care of her son, assured you that he was technically cleared to go back to normal after day 3, but he was still feeling a bit wonky, and his pain medicine enhanced the wonkiness.

Your jobs were as such: make soup or mashed potatoes when he asked, remind him to clean his wounds if he forgets, and hang out with him. You found the list quite easy and told his mom that you’d make sure he was all good and cared for.

You underestimated, however, how needy your boyfriend would be. The moment you’d walked into his bedroom to wake him up, he attached himself to you, whining about how much he’d missed you over the past few days. He spoke as if you’d gone off to war and left him behind with your nonexistent children, insisting that your absence had ruined his life.

After you managed to make him brush his teeth, spray salt water into his mouth, and eat his breakfast (a bowl of yogurt), he passed out on the couch, leaving you to do whatever seemed appealing at the moment. Initially, you spent your time scrolling through all the selfies he’d sent you of his face all swollen and puffy, which had got you giggling. Then, you had the bright idea to help 

You started by slightly cleaning his room up, feeling pretty good about yourself as you washed his clothes and his sheets. In your mind, you were building a resume to ensure his mom liked you, and you were going to earn extra affection from it, so you didn’t care about the repetitiveness at all.

About halfway through your cleaning adventures, Gunwook appeared in the doorway of his bedroom, staring at you folding the load of laundry you did. “How are you?” you asked, continuing to fold his t-shirts.

“Have I ever told you that you’re perfect?” he mumbled, shuffling over and draping himself onto you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and shoved his face into your neck, nearly knocking you over by putting his entire weight on you without warning.

“Only every day,” you replied, giggling. “Seriously though, how are you? Anything feel off or more painful than it did before you napped?”

“No,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to your neck. “Stop sounding like my mom. It’s weird.”

“What do you want me to say? ‘I hope you get dry socket?’”

“It’s better than mom-speak,” he replied. “She’s going to love you after today. Not gonna shut up about it.”

“That’s the entire reason that I’m doing all of this.”

“And not to help out your hurting boyfriend? You’re terrible.”

You scoffed, finishing folding the rest of his clothes. “Are you hungry?”

You patted his arm and Gunwook unattached himself from you, letting you turn around to face him. He rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. “No. I’m so glad you’re here. I missed you a lot.”

“Did you?”

“My mom said I cried about you being at school right after I got out of surgery,” he replied. You widened your eyes, not expecting him to be that forward about it. “I don’t like being away from you for so long. I hope we never, ever separate.”

You smiled, half-heartedly punching him in the shoulder. “I hope you stay this nice even after you feel fully better.”

Gunwook gave you a serious look as if he was thinking hard about something. You waited awkwardly, staring at one another as he sounded out whatever he was thinking in his head. “Over the past few days, I’ve been thinking a lot about something.”

“Which is…?”

“I’m going to say something,” he said, putting his hands on your shoulders. “I’m not expecting a reply. I just need to say it. I’ve thought about it a lot.”

“Okay, go on ahead. I’m listening.”

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes as if whatever he was going to tell you was stressing him out. It made you get a bit anxious, wondering if he was going to break some terrible news to you. “Over the past couple of days, I’ve missed you a lot, more than I missed Gyuvin and Junhyeon combined. And it was hard only being able to talk to you through texting, even though I only text my friends for days on end sometimes. And it got me thinking about everything, you know? Because it’s all I’ve had to entertain myself since I got my teeth pulled.”

“Right.”

“I love you, [First]. A lot. And it’s okay if you’re not ready to say that yet, I get it. But I do. Truthfully. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

It felt like a rock was stuck in your throat. You opened your mouth expecting words to come out, but they didn’t—so, you just stood there, staring at Gunwook. He stared back at you, eyes glossy from tiredness and cheeks pink. You weren’t ready—the words were so big and so scary, and it wasn’t that you didn’t love him, you just couldn’t find the words to say it.

Your solution to this was to engulf him in a hug, latching to his waist like you’d done a second ago. No words were needed as he did the same, and, for a while, you stood there, enjoying one another’s company.

viii. mirrors

You don’t remember the last time you’ve felt this gross when looking into a mirror. The dress you’re wearing is gorgeous—it’s long, flowy, and summery, the type of dress that doesn’t look bad on anyone. Yet, staring at yourself right now, you feel utterly disgusting.

It’s the same type of dress you saw Yukyung wearing at the fair, and, when you look at yourself, all you can do is compare yourself to her. Even when you were best friends, this was a problem you had, but it wasn’t nearly as awful when she made you feel safe and loved. Now, it felt threatening and nauseating.

Gunwook knocked on the door of your dressing room, causing you to wince. “[First], are you done? Can I see?”

“Yeah, sure. One second.”

You quickly retied the bow around your waist, hoping it would make you feel a little less awful. It didn’t have the intended effect, but you turned around anyway, opening the door to the dressing room. Gunwook’s expression bloomed into a smile the moment he saw you, but, instead of feeling loved, you only remembered the way he looked at Yukyung with slight disdain at the fair while she wore the same thing.

“You look so beautiful,” he said, which caused you to subconsciously frown. He noticed immediately, his smile morphing into a frown to mirror you. “What’s wrong? Do you not like it?”

You turned around, staring at yourself in the mirror once more. “I don’t feel pretty in it,” you said, trying to be as upfront with your emotions as you could. You saw Gunwook’s jaw drop in his reflection in the mirror as if he couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“How in the world could you not feel pretty? It fits you perfectly, and it’s entirely on theme for your cousin’s wedding. You look gorgeous, I swear. Everyone would agree with me.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, hoping and praying that, if he said it for a third time, the image of Yukyung in your mind would miraculously go away. He nodded earnestly, making the most serious look you’d ever seen him produce.

“One thousand percent. And I’m not just saying it because I’m your boyfriend, I mean it. You look beautiful, and every other synonym of beautiful. I’m serious.”

You nodded, fabricating a smile so you could take it off and put your sweater back on. “Okay, I’ll get it then. I’m sure my mom will agree.”

You shut the dressing room door, fighting the urge to slam your head into the mirror. You just pulled the dress off of you, replacing it with your normal clothes and putting it back on the hanger, swiftly exiting the room so you’d no longer be facing the mirror.

After that, you’d tried to escape the mall as quickly as you could, dragging Gunwook through the corridors like you were on a mission. He’d followed without saying anything, but you could tell he was somewhat confused—and you hoped that confusion would go away when you arrived at the bus stop just as it arrived.

Gunwook knew you better than that, though, shooting you multiple inquisitive looks for the duration of your bus ride. And, the moment you got off, he whistled a small tune, which was a clear sign that he was going to bring it up.

“So, what’s up?”

“What do you mean?” You feigned ignorance, hoping he’d get the message and leave it alone. He wouldn’t, though, and it was now a question of whether he meant today only, or why you’d been acting so strange over the past month or so.

“You’ve been acting weird for a while, [First]. Not all the time, just sometimes, and it has me worried. Did I do something? Or is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“I’m just on edge,” you lied, clearing your throat. “Exams are next month. I don’t like the idea that a single test could dictate the rest of my life, and the idea that, if I do poorly, I have to spend another year studying for it.”

“Are you sure that’s it? You seem fine every time we’re studying, and your grades are good. You don’t ask for nearly as much help as you did a few months ago either.”

“I promise. Things will go back to normal next month, I swear.”

“Okay.”

Great, you thought, kicking a rock on the sidewalk. He knew you were lying, and now you had one month to fix your ex-best-friend troubles before you had to face your issues. And, you had no idea how.

You kicked the rock again, and it flew out in the street, falling into a storm drain, never to be seen again.

ix. exams

Before today, you didn’t think your hands could hurt this bad. Nor did you think your brain could hurt this bad, either.

The moment you walked into Gunwook’s room, you drop everything you’re holding, face-planting into his bed. He laughed at you, and you could hear him neatly placing everything he was holding onto his desk.

“How can you unpack things right now?” you asked, mentally praising whoever created mattresses. “I feel like my brain is short-circuiting.”

“I’m good at school stuff, that’s why,” he replied. Outside, the rain that you’d dealt with walking to his house got worse, and you briefly considered the possibility that you wouldn’t be returning home tonight unless one of your parents were willing to drive to Gunwook’s house. “Do you want something else to wear? Other than your uniform.”

“Really?” you asked, hopping out of his bed. He nodded, opening his drawer and taking out a t-shirt and pair of sweatpants.

“They’ll probably be a little big,” he said, handing them to you. You waved him off, shaking your head.

“They’re not this god-awful uniform, so they’re winners in my book.”

You practically skipped out of his room and into the bathroom, changing into the pajamas he’d given you hastily. They were soft and smelled like the detergent his mom bought (which smelled exactly like you thought Gunwook would smell, back when you just had a delusional crush on him).

Before you went back to his room, you folded your uniform, giving yourself a once over in the mirror. You looked exhausted and you felt it too, overloaded from the hours of straight testing that you’d endured for the sole purpose of going to university. You were so tired you couldn’t even muster the strength to be worried about your test scores.

You shuffled back into Gunwook’s room, shutting the door behind you. He was already laying down, scrolling through his phone and wearing the black-and-white sweater he’d been so obsessed with recently. You put your uniform on top of your bag, which he’d moved to a chair in the corner of his room, before collapsing on top of him and forcing your hands around his waist.

The act caused him to laugh at you before ruffling your hair, kissing you atop the crown of your head. “I’m proud of you,” he said, and you felt his chest rumble as he talked. “I’m sure you did well.”

“Stop being sappy,” you replied, suddenly feeling a lot more tired than you had been. “But I’m proud of you too. I know you did well.”

He hummed, and you assumed he went back to scrolling through his phone, which you weren’t angry about. You had about five minutes before you fell asleep on him, and you were fine spending it in complete silence save for whatever random thought you had.

“Oh, did you see the Yuna-Jaechan reunion? It was, like, dramatic. He gave her some super expensive necklace or something.”

“I didn’t see it, but I heard about it. Junhyeon hasn’t shut up about it. He thinks it’s hilarious.”

“If we’d done the CSAT breakup, would you have bought me a super expensive necklace?”

“We wouldn’t have, but I would’ve bought you the most expensive necklace ever. With Gyuvin’s money.”

“Aw, how romantic.”

It went quiet again, and you felt yourself fading quickly. The rhythmic up-and-down of Gunwook’s chest paired with the rain pitter-pattering against the window was putting you to sleep with ease, to the point where you could barely keep your eyes open.

And then a bright flash and near-immediate thunder awoke you instantly, causing you to flinch hard. Gunwook laughed at you instantly, causing you to feel embarrassed.

“Oh, is someone afraid of thunder?”

“No,” you huffed, closing your eyes again. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Okay, whatever you say. But that jump was pretty intense. I almost thought you were convulsing, was scared that the test had killed you.”

“Fuck you.”

“Good night, [First]. Sleep well.”

Now aware that you were enduring a thunderstorm, the booming noise that came with the rain only added to your sleepiness. Within minutes, you were almost completely asleep, barely able to register when Gunwook laughed at something on his phone or shifted slightly.

“I love you,” he whispered, putting a single hand on your waist. With that, you were asleep and entirely dead to the world for the next few hours.

x. gossip

You didn’t like the way Youngeun was looking at you. She couldn’t keep secrets—it was obvious she knew something, but you couldn’t figure out what exactly she could know.

Yeseo, on the other hand, seemed completely fine, even if Youngeun kept giving her worried glances. She simply drank her juice, mixing her noodles around with seemingly no intent to actually eat them. It was silent at your table, the sun beating down on you as you sat outside the 7/11 you’d all agreed to go to after school that day.

“What is up with you two?” you finally asked, frustrated with whatever was happening. Youngeun winced and Yeseo put her drink down, balancing her chopsticks on top of her bowl of ramen. It was silent for a few moments, and you felt anxiety eating you up.

“There’s a rumor going around,” Youngeun blurted out, causing you to tilt your head. Yeseo crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair.

“It’s not a big rumor. It’s small and contained, and it shouldn’t get much bigger, but we don’t want you to hear it from someone random, or to overhear it when you don’t mean to. We don’t think it’s true, but you deserve to know.”

“Okay, just tell me. I don’t need this huge build-up.”

“There’s a small group, and I mean small group, that think Yukyung and Gunwook are dating behind your back.”

You went quiet, feeling your heart drop into your stomach. Realistically, you knew it wasn’t true—from the way Gunwook talked to you to the way he looked at you, there was no possible way that this was true. The part of you that was borderline traumatized by her sudden switch up on you believed it in an instant, though.

“Do they have any proof?”

“Apparently, they see her talking to him a lot. I mean, she doesn’t hang out in your classroom often, ‘cause her new friends are in mine and Gunwook’s class. And, to be fair, they aren’t wrong, she does talk to him a lot, but he doesn’t like it. It wouldn’t shock me if she’s trying to get him to break up with you, but they’re not dating,” Youngeun said, suddenly sounding a lot angrier than she did before. “I’ve seen him shoot her down several times. But people take it the wrong way, I guess.”

“Long story short, don’t believe it, [First]. We both know it’s not true and if you start hearing it from other people, ignore it. Okay?”

Like the world was playing an awful, cruel joke on you, your phone started ringing, and one look confirmed your suspicions. You picked up, hearing Gunwook’s voice come through, clear as day. “Do you want to see a movie tomorrow?” he asked, skipping over the greeting. Intrusively, you thought, would he go with her, too? “I’ll pay. It’s a showing of a Ghibli movie that Yujin said was good.”

“Sure,” you said, feeling Youngeun’s and Yeseo’s eyes burning through you, as if to say don’t you dare overreact about this. “What time?”

You were going to overreact about it anyway, though. You couldn’t do this, at least not with Yukyung—or, at least the thought of her—breathing over your shoulder at every moment. She meant too much to you that your mind was racing through every single thought you’d had over the past few months.

She was your best friend, and you’re pretty sure that, before Gunwook came into the picture, you were in love with her. You spent hours upon hours with her, and now you spend hours looking through the old pictures that you refuse to delete. You’re stuck on her—not in love with her anymore, but yearning for a friendship you lost—and it’s getting in the way of your relationship, and your mind concludes that there’s one viable outcome.

And, now, you have an excuse to carry it out.

xi. her

You don’t have the time to knock on Gunwook’s door before he throws it open. He hugs you immediately, picking you up and spinning you around right there in his doorway, and, for a minute, your mind is clear of all the terrible things that you’ve been trapped with for the past month.

“We did it,” he cried out, putting you back down so he could see your face. “We did it! Oh my god, how could we not have done it? We were always going to get in.”

About twenty minutes ago, both you and Gunwook received an email from Seoul National University that you’d gotten in. After you’d cried for four hours over your good CSAT scores, you nearly passed out at this news, wondering in what world you had deserved this. And, among your caving-in mind over Gunwook and Yukyung, you’d immediately left your house and ran to Gunwook’s.

He cupped your face in his hands, planting a kiss on your lips in utter joy. You laughed, feeling immensely happy for the both of you.

You tripped over your feet as you walked into his house, kicking off your shoes and emerging into his living room. “I never thought this would happen,” you said, pacing around the room. Gunwook watched you from behind the couch, smiling. “I mean, for the last month, I’ve just—I haven’t caught a break. I’ve been miserable every waking moment and now I finally have something to be happy over. Can you believe that?”

You look at him, and you watch his smile drop. You backpedal over what you said, realizing that you’d let your little secret slip; since Youngeun and Yeseo had told you about the rumor, you’d done an excellent job at hiding your panic, acting like everything was fine when it wasn’t in the slightest.

“What do you mean you’ve been miserable?”

You stopped pacing, and the room went quiet. In an instant, you’d knocked the happiness out of the room and brought in everything you’d been avoiding. The breakup plan you’d thought of night after night flashed in your mind, along with Yeseo telling you that you were an idiot for even considering it.

“I don’t know where this came from,” he continued, his voice a bit tight. “But I was under the impression everything was okay. We took the test and you looked better—why wouldn’t you tell me you were miserable?”

You weren’t sure what to say. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you felt nauseated, no longer feeling the excitement of the college acceptance you’d yearned for since you were a kid. “It’s stupid,” you said, your voice small. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll get over it.”

“I don’t know if you understand how that sounds to me,” he said, and you were getting the idea that he also had an issue that he hadn’t been talking about, either. “But we’ve spent a lot of time together over the last month, and you saying that you’ve been miserable the entire time sounds a lot like you saying you were miserable being with me.”

“What? No, that’s not what I meant.” You shook your head, feeling mortified at the idea. “I promise, that’s not it. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Then why won't you tell me? I don’t think I’m entitled to hear anything from you that you don’t want to talk about, but when it’s been torturing you for months, [First], I feel like I deserve to know. Especially since it seems like Youngeun and Yeseo haven’t gotten any of the side effects.”

You bit your lip, closing your eyes. “You know Yukyung was my best friend, right?” Even saying it aloud made tears bunch into your eyes. For the first time since nearly a year ago, now, you were facing something you hadn’t even talked about with your mom. “Like, best friend. We’ve been—we were friends from our first year of middle school. She was my everything. And she threw it all away over—over you, and it’s been hard for me to stomach it.”

Gunwook rolled up his sleeves, leaning on the couch. “That happened in March,” he said, almost sounding frustrated. You knew it wasn’t directed at you, rather, he was probably angry that Yukyung had any say in your relationship even though you’d never even spoken about her.

“It killed me, Gunwook. I didn’t sleep well for a week. I mean, she was telling people things I told her in middle school, running around and painting a picture of me that I didn’t know she had.” You felt exasperated, unsure of how to convey what you needed to without sharing a secret you’d never shared with anyone. “It was hard for me. Even though I was happy about us, I couldn’t get over losing her like that with no warning. And then, I saw her talking to you at the fair, and then Yeseo and Youngeun told me about the rumors, and—”

“Rumors?” he interjected, furrowing his eyebrows. “What rumors?”

“People think you’re cheating on me,” you replied, crossing your arms over your chest. That seemed to confuse Gunwook, as he looked down, staring at the couch rather than looking at you. “It’s just hard, okay? It’s hard.”

“And you couldn’t have told me you felt like this? It didn’t cross your mind, even for a second, to just be honest?”

“Well why didn’t you tell me that she’s been talking to you at every chance she gets?” you rebutted. That caused him to wince, and you watched him realize that he couldn’t say much, either. “It’s not like we’re both innocent, here. So let’s get it over with. Now.”

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Gunwook said, pushing off the couch and mirroring your stance. “Gyuvin brought it up during our second year before we knew each other. It didn’t cross my mind again until I saw you staring at her when I came in to give you your calculator back. And then—it’s been months and you haven’t said you loved me.”

Every muscle in your body tensed, and it, once again, occurred to you that you could never pull anything over on Gunwook.

“Are you in love with her?”

You gulped, your throat suddenly feeling drier than it ever had. “I was. A long time ago.”

It went silent again, and you wondered if he believed you. “I promise you it’s in the past. It was only during my first year and some of my second, but I got over it when she started dating Seungeon. And they lasted long enough for me to get over it, and we added Youngeun to the mix, so I was preoccupied. That’s in the past. But it doesn’t change that she threw out five years of our friendship without a second thought.”

He didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, beginning to pace back and forth. You let him think, hoping that your defense was sound enough that he wouldn’t break things off then and there.

“Do you love me, [First]?”

Two months ago, Yeseo had asked if you’d said “I love you” yet. You’d, embarrassingly, had to share that Gunwook had but you hadn’t, which perplexed both of them. And, when they asked why, all you’d been able to tell them was that the last person you’d said “I love you” to was Yukyung, the night before Youngeun called you, telling you everything she’d heard.

“Yes,” you said, nodding. “I do. I love you.”

Right in front of you, Gunwook burst into tears, walking straight past the couch and enveloping you in his arms. “I thought you were going to break up with me for so long,” he choked out, squeezing you so hard you could barely breathe. “I was terrified the entire time, and I thought things got better after the exams, but I couldn’t shake the feeling. I was so scared, [First]. I love you so much that I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

“I love you too,” you said, although it was muffled. “I promise. And I didn’t love her as much as I love you.”

xii. graduation

You were realizing that your claim that you didn’t cry often was quickly becoming a lie. You were sitting on the floor of your room, holding your diploma to your chest while tears streamed from your eyes. Gunwook was staring at you with a mixture of amusement and worry as you rocked yourself back and forth.

“Youngeun is leaving me,” you said, hiccuping. “Both of them are. For Japan. I’m going to have to make new friends.”

“But you’ll still be able to talk? They won’t even be in a different timezone.”

“Okay, and?” you said, hiccuping. “It’s so far. I won’t be able to go to 7/11 with them anymore.”

“We can go to 7/11?”

“That’s different, you’re my boyfriend. 7/11 is a commitment when it’s with you.”

“What does that even mean?”

You let out another Earth-shattering sob, and you supposed that convinced Gunwook to come over and attempt to comfort you. “There, there,” he said sarcastically. “Japan is very far. And you’ll have to pay more to call them. I’m sorry.”

“At least try to sound a little serious!”

“Neither Junhyeon nor Gyuvin got into SNU.”

“Okay, but they’re still in Korea, so you’ll be fine. There’s no train to Tokyo here.”

Gunwook wrapped his arm around your shoulder, leaning his head on yours. “It’ll be okay. They’ll be here over breaks and you’ll get to see them then, right? And you always have the—wait, why don’t you have a picture of us framed?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No, I’m serious,” he said, pointing to your dresser, which was right in front of you. On top were multiple framed pictures of the three of you, smiling, laughing, and doing other things. “What’s up with that? Am I less important than them?”

“Shut up.”

“No. I’m going to buy a disposable camera right now, and we’re going to take pictures so you can print and frame them.”

You rolled your eyes, wiping away your tears. “Okay. Whatever you say. Even though you’re my wallpaper, and you’re the only number pinned in my text messages, and you’re the only person who’s ever known the password to my phone.”

“You love me.”

“Not when you’re a greedy loser.”

“Aw, I love you, too.”

thank you for reading !

[cinnnamongrl]

sorority secrets- ellie williams (part 2)

pairing: college!ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: part 2 to this fic.

warnings: [18+ MDNI] explicit language, suggestive themes/language, kissing (gasp) [this series will contain smut later on- warnings will be listed accordingly]

author’s note: part two everybody clap. this is a little shorter but part 3 will make up for it .. wink wink. have fun and lmk all ur thoughts<33

was ellie delusional? was she a complete idiot for thinking there was something sapphic that was occurring between the two of you? did she dream up the flirting, the glances at her hands and quickened heartbeat visible through your dress when her face was close to yours? she didn’t know. all she knew was she had been tied up in too many situations where she’d misread signals and falsely assumed a girl was queer and interested to then find out she was straight, or involved with a guy. and fuck going through that again. so she decided to distance herself. luckily for her, there hadn’t been any mandatory eta meets lately and you didn’t share any classes together. her plan to leave you alone and let you pursue this chad guy was going perfectly.

you felt like shit. you felt like the worlds biggest asshole for telling everyone you had a crush on a guy 3 minutes after ellie’s mouth was a few inches from yours, and not even talking to her after to maybe explain that, hey, i don’t even know who chad is. i was just being a pussy. now can we go back to where you were pressed up against me in the bathroom? another fun consequence of your lie was now having to pretend you knew who chad peters was when your sorority sisters would prod you for details on your big crush on him. you’d managed to work out through their giggly discussions that he was:

1. tall.

2. well endowed. (lucky you!)

3. a football player.

4. president of kappa upsilon sigma fraternity. the same fraternity your dad had been a part of.

fuck chad peters for existing and being the reason ellie wasn’t talking to you anymore.

you laid on your bed with yours and ellie’s chat open on your phone. your heard swirled with different excuses to use to text her, trying to silence your pride. it was your fault she was avoiding you anyway, you’d embarrassed her and hadn’t even followed up with an apology, instead you let your parent’s ideals and the pressure you put on yourself mess with your head.

fuck this.

she didn’t tell you to fuck off so you considered that a win. it had been 17 minutes since you sent the last text, so you assumed the conversation was over. still, you picked up your phone every few minutes to check she hadn’t texted again. it was a natural place for the conversation to end, but… what if she was still upset with you? you threw your head dramatically into your pillow like a woman scorned.

curse your stupid love heart hand emojis, ellie thought. she tried to be chill and think about important things like the next paragraph on her text book, or replying to a text from emilia about some eta thing, or doing something about the clothes pile on her floor from 2 weeks ago. but she was sat in her desk chair analysing your emojis. which made her think about you. which made her think about the little eyebrow scrunch you did when you pretended to be annoyed with her, which made her think about your chest almost pressing into hers in the bathroom, which made her think about your neck, how it might look with-

KNOCK KNOCK

ellie scanned her room, kicked the pile of clothes into the corner, adjusted the hood of her grey hoodie and walked to the door. she opened it and was met with you, looking slightly awkward but in an (annoyingly) endearing way. she looked down at your hands. a box of capri-suns. a laugh escaped her throat. “hi” your voice a little unsure. “listen i know you’re studying i just thought i’d bring this to you it’s a joke because we talked about capri-suns sorry i’ll go i just thought it would be funny but i’m probably disturbing you so i’ll see you soon maybe y’know because of e-“ “come in” she cut you off.

you took in a breath and tentatively walked past her outstretched hand. you stood in the middle of her room, still processing that you’d asked ellie’s step sister to tell you where her dorm room was like a creep and then ran there to give her a gift from a stupid inside joke. “i’ll leave in a minute i just,” you thought for a second. you just what? you pointed a weak hand at the box of capri-suns in your other hand. she smiled slightly “i see. thank you.” she took the box from your hand and started to rip it open as she sat down in her desk chair. you watched her for a few seconds before a brightly coloured pouch came flying at you, your instincts managing to kick in at the last minute so your hand could shoot out and clutch it against your torso, an action that lacked any hint of grace. ellie was visibly holding in a laugh as she pierced the tiny straw through her own drink. “don’t laugh! you didn’t give me any warning!” you blurted. “ok this is your warning. i’m going to throw a capri-sun at you.” not even half a second later another flash of colour shot towards you and you held you hand up in front of your face in protection. the pouch hit the floor with a gentle thud and you picked it up and stared at ellie who was now openly snickering at you. “you’re” you aimed it at her stomach “a dick” SMACK.

“ow!” she held the drink to her and looked up at you in disbelief before standing to her feet, eyes on you. a little jump of playful fear zapped through you and she grabbed a handful of capri-suns out the box and one after the other threw them towards you, no real force behind the throws. you backed away giggling until the backs of your knees met her bed and you fell back onto it. ellie didn’t let up her attack and continued walking towards you, fourth capri-sun hitting your shoulder a little harder than she’d anticipated. you clutched it theatrically and turned away from her, face pressed into her bed and keeping your body balled up like you’d been shot. a wave of panic went through ellie at the thought of accidentally hurting you. she placed herself next to you on the bed and put her hand on your back nervously “hey are you..” “HA” you lifted suddenly and held her body down onto the bed with your leg and repeatedly hit the capri-sun onto her arm, laughing at your own genius. ‘hey hey hey’ ellie spoke through her laughter and grabbed a hold of your arms, successfully pacifying you.

she looked at the sight of you above her, grinning, your chest rising and falling quickly. the memory of your truth or dare confession struck her. she let go of your arms and cleared her throat, sitting up slightly, making you remove your leg from her. you noticed her switch and before your brain could have an input your mouth got there first;

“i don’t like that guy.” you babbled. ellie stared at you. “what?” “that guy. chad. i didn’t even know a chad, it was the first name that came to mind.” “wh-“ she blinked a few times “what are you saying?” you adjusted yourself so you were sat on your knees. “i made up a fake crush when emilia asked because i got scared.” ellie frowned, “scared of what?” “you.” a short laugh escaped her, the confusion obvious on her features. “me?” “yes, scared of you and…” “and what?” her eyes were still fixed on you and it took great effort to stop yourself from doting upon her freckles and her pretty lips “..the way you make me feel.” you looked down. ellie’s tone changed, there was a depth to her voice. “and how’s that?” your eyes remained focused in on a crease in her sheets. “like..” “hey, look at me.” she raised your chin with her index finger. you complied. and she wanted to hear you talk but god did she also want to kiss you right now.

“..fuzzy. and all hot and nervous and i haven’t stopped thinking about you since i met you which is stupid and scary and-” and then her lips were on yours, it was soft and sweet and it gave you butterflies. it was delicate and gentle and tender, until it wasn’t. until it was deepening, her tongue was meeting yours and you had butterflies in a whole new way. her hand found your face and she cupped your jaw while the other made it’s way to the back of your neck, the intensity of both her hands holding you making your head spin a little. she kissed you with all the desperation of a man starved and yet all the technique that made it seem like she already knew exactly what your body wanted from her.

feeling suddenly restricted in the sitting position on your knees you leaned into the kiss and placed your hands either side of her, lifting your ass from your legs and leaning into her on all fours, mouth not leaving hers. ellie felt your body shift and broke away from you, noticing your new position. “you.. can’t do that” she let out breathlessly. “d-do what?” you were suddenly hyper aware of your body, realising that you probably did look a little pathetic in near-enough doggy position while you’re kissing for the first time. “because i want to be respectful,” she calmed her breathing slightly “but the way you look now is making me have not so respectful thoughts” your face heated and let out a shy giggle. “..sorry.” the corner of her mouth lifted into a smile. you continued “but uh… you don’t have to be respectful… if you don’t want.” you looked up at her and absentmindedly brought your bottom lip to chew on at your nervous attempt at playful seduction. ellie looked down at your mouth and within the beat she’d captured it with her own, kissing you hard again and hands stoking up your arms that were still held up on her bed.

part 3

taglist: @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @nil-eena @girlfr1endism

[remotepixel]

headcanons for platonic peter parker who wants to be your brother sooo bad

AAAA ok i want to say thank you so much for requesting !!!!!! i was literally so excited when i saw it lol.

I set this around Homecoming but didn't specify too much.

TW: yandere themes!

I imagine Peter always wanted a sibling.

-As a bullied, ‘weird’ kid, he grew up wishing he could have someone to hang out with when no one else wanted to.

-Of course, his parents always said no (since it obviously isn’t as simple as young him thought) and he never pestered May and Ben about it, too busy grieving and learning the struggles of money, but the idea lingered well into his teens.

-And, when he met you, he couldn’t help but think maybe God was granting him his wish.

He would be very clingy (to put it simply).

-If you’re in the same school, he’ll make you sit with him and his friends at lunch, walk you to and from lessons, anything to keep himself glued to your side.

-If not, he’ll be constantly checking his phone, texting you 24/7 (or calling you if he can), to the point I wouldn’t be surprised if he got a couple detentions for it.

-He acts like being away from you is the worst thing to ever happen to him.

-Like if doesn’t get a constant reminder that you’re not ignoring him and you’re just busy he’s gonna drop dead.

Outside of school, he would normally invite you around his house to build lego Star Wars or binge old movies no one else your age knows.

-I think he’d really like having things only between you two - like an inside joke or a project you work on together - both because he has an excuse to talk to you, and because it makes it seem like you’ve know each other your whole lives (something he wishes desperately was true).

I imagine Aunt May seeing you two hanging out one day, squabbling about how to properly ensemble the last piece (he’d probably go with your judgement no matter what though), and tells him something along the lines of ‘stop fighting with your sibling’ as a joke.

-The way Peter’s face would just be 😯 before breaking into a massive smile that permanently stays on his face for the next month.

-Like, even Aunt May agrees that he’s your brother, that's basically the same as her adopting you, yeah? no-

Peter is a bit delusional if you couldn't tell.

-Like, the way he constantly called Happy because he convinced himself that it was gonna go through eventually? Yeah, you’re getting the same treatment.

-He assumes you feel the same even if you so much as look at him (I bet he’ll think it’s some ‘sibling secret code’ and look at you in the same way so it looks like he understood).

That isn’t to say he’s ignorant to your emotions though.

-He copies your feelings in a way - like, if you’re sad, he’ll be as well, if you’re angry at something, he’ll be angry, etc.

-He isn’t one for violence but I don’t think he would care if Spiderman webbed/roughed up a few people who were annoying you (I don’t think he’d do much more unless you were in serious danger or he got too caught up into his feelings like in no way home).

I can’t believe I didn’t mention this before but he would be so jealous if you actually had (a) sibling(s).

-Like, he’s supposed to be your brother, but now he has to compete with people who know you so much better than he does? People who get to live with you and say you’re related without getting funny looks?

-(He lied to MJ once and it immediately backfired- he just wanted someone to actually think you and him were siblings, ok? Is that really a crime?)

-I don’t think he would have it in him to be outright mean to them, but he wouldn’t be overly nice either, just neutral enough to hide any jealously and not get banned from seeing you.

He tries not to come across as pathetic (don’t tell him he lowkey is-) but he’s never had much of a family before. Sure, he has Aunt May but everyone else? Dead, just like that.

Siblings is a whole new world for him and he just wants to be there for you, be your role model like Stark is for him, and prove that he can be the best brother ever.

I have re-read this but my tenses might be messed up </3

[haespoir]

cave me in: mkl.

⨯ pairing: plug!mark x reader

⨯ word count: 1.3k 

⨯ summary: haechan introduces you to his dealer friend, and mark lee makes it so hard to keep the relationship strictly business. not that you minded anyways. 

⨯ warnings: mentions of drugs (weed), some suggestive content, i think thats it enjoy :3

⨯ playlist: cave me in, gallant / half moon, dean / wfm, realestk 

⨯ extra content: part two

⨯ a/n: im completely normal about mark lee i swear ty @markonthemoon​ for furthering my completely normal feelings about mark lee... there might be a part two. 

. . . 

It had been at least 3 hours since you had picked up edibles from Mark. Three whole ass hours, and yet he was still laying on his bed feeling less than whole. Who did you buy them for? Were you getting high with someone else? Was it a guy? 

The first time Haechan had introduced you to him he didn’t pay it any mind. You were a close friend of the younger male’s situation-ship… Whatever the fuck that was. But it was no more than that in his eyes. You were someone who occasionally bought from him, and you were always so polite about it too. And for some unknown reason, or at least unknown to him, that bothered him. A few weeks later, a not-so-sober conversation with Haechan revealed that Mark had a crush on you. One he denied vehemently. Though he guessed out of everyone he sold to, you were the most ideal to date. 

Who the fuck said anything about dating? 

Mark shakes his head as if to rid himself of such wild thoughts. “I’m just hungry,” he says to himself, thinking of ways he could fill that empty void in his stomach. If only he knew, there was no amount of food that would help him feel whole. He grabs his phone, shooting a quick text to someone who knew would also be high at this time. 

mark [11:48 pm]: ramen?  jungwoo [11:50 pm]: and netflix?  jungwoo [11:50 pm]: mark… are you asking me to hook up?  jungwoo [11:51 pm]: say less baby i’m otw!  mark [11:53 pm]: dude what mark [11:53 pm]: no, just ramen  jungwoo [11:55 pm]: mark lee you want me so bad  mark [11:57 pm]: hurry before i change my mind

Jungwoo’s texts cause Mark to roll his eyes, but he grabs his keys. “Yo, Haechan,” he calls out, peeking into the male’s LED-lit room. On his monitor, he sees a discord call and what he believes is your profile picture. Why were you on call with him? “I’m going get ramen with Zeus, want anything?” 

“Nah, I’m going over to my girl’s in a bit,” Haechan replies, smoothly muting the call as he gives his roommate his attention. “I’ll just see you in the morning?” Mark hums, and he’s out the door quickly. He doesn’t want to even think about the relationship between you and Haechan, not when there’s a green little monster creeping through his veins. 

Once Haechan is sure Mark is gone, he’s unmuting the call. “Personally, I think he’s into you.” 

Though he can’t see it, you’re rolling your eyes. “Haechan, you’re just saying that. You’re tired of me third wheeling?” 

“Listen... Your words, not mine, sweetheart,” he says simply. 

“Whatever dude,” you sigh, rolling onto your side on your bed. “Have fun with your shawty. I’m going to sleep.” 

“Just ask him to smoke you out or something,” Haechan says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. “I’m leaving.” 

You hear the noise of him leaving the call before you can even reply, and you’re once again rolling your eyes. You didn’t understand how your friend was into Haechan. What a fucking brat. 

I mean, you can’t just ask someone to smoke you out, right? Isn’t that something that’s offered? You groan loudly at the thought, locking your phone and tossing it on the floor. “Fuck you, Haechan,” you think bitterly. Why the hell did he have to put that godforsaken idea in your mind? 

Because the idea doesn’t leave your mind for weeks after that night. Every time you buy from Mark, you find it harder and harder to deny your attraction to the male. His actions don’t help much either. In fact, you’re convinced you’re delusional. There was no other reason. 

You had mentioned you liked rice krispie treats, and suddenly Mark has rice krispie treat edibles. With extra marshmallows no less.  

One time you heard your friends complaining that Mark had increased his prices. Which was odd because you were spending less on weed than you ever had before. Maybe they were just buying more? 

Or sometimes there’s a small baggie of only the clear gummy bears with the things you buy from him. It’s not like you had told him that the only valid flavor of gummy bears was the clear ones. 

These things weren’t just coincidences, right? Or were they? Haechan also liked marshmallow treats, so maybe they were for him. You had taken a liking to edibles, so you weren’t smoking as much as you used to. Meaning you were spending less money anyways. And Mark said that he liked the red gummy bears the most, so surely, you were just getting the ones he didn’t like. 

You let out a loud groan, ignoring the call from Haechan on Discord. Instead, you opt to shove your face into your pillow before letting out a small scream. Mark Lee was driving you absolutely crazy. 

Perhaps if you picked that call up, the text messages that flashed on your screen 30 minutes later would not have sent you into the panic that they did. 

mark [12:20 am]: yo mark [12:20 am]: i got a new strain  mark [12:20 am]: let me smoke you out? 

Maybe Haechan wasn’t a brat, and maybe you would thank him for this at your wedding years later. But none of that matters when Mark Lee is asking to smoke you out. 

you [12:29 am]: uh yea you [12:29 am]: my place?  mark [12:32 am]: say less mark [12:32 am]: i’ll bring your favorite gummies

He does bring them, and he does smoke you out. Which is why you find yourself in the position that you do. You’re sitting on the floor in your living room, your cheek pressed against Mark’s knee as he sits on your couch. You swear he looks perfect from this angle; his hair is pushed back by a headband he had stolen from you a few days ago, claiming he thought it was like a personal head massage device. You can see the way his eyes are slightly red, and you’re sure yours look exactly like his. Most importantly, his neck is on display, and you want to do nothing more than mark it up. It takes everything in you to not climb into his lap and do exactly that. 

“You look like a puppy,” Mark says, running his fingers through your hair, stopping when he reaches your ear. He’s rubbing small circles on your earlobe with this thumb, his eyes drinking in the sight of you. “My puppy.” 

God, Mark Lee was dangerous. Absolutely lethal. You groan at his words, pressing your face into his thigh to hide away from him. Unfortunately for you, this has the opposite effect, and there is no such thing as hiding from him. The sight of you nearly burying your face into his lap like this does wonders for Mark’s confidence. 

“Come here.” It’s a demand from him, and it’s one that you quickly listen to as he guides you to straddle his lap. In this new position, Mark’s hands quickly go to your thighs; the grip he has is almost bruising. But you don’t mind it, not when Mark’s got his head resting on the back of your couch and he’s staring at you in a way that makes you nervous. 

“Sorry for making you wait,” he says, and you’re feeling a bit confused. “Haechan might have given me a hint or two.” 

The confusion is gone quickly; you were going to strangle that kid. 

Mark laughs at the look on your face, easily reading the emotions as if you were an open book to him. “Don’t think about it, we’ve got a lot of time to make up for.” 

And when Mark Lee presses a kiss against your jaw, his hands traveling under your shirt, you know you’re done for. 

[briwbb28]

SLUT!

part 1

“And I break down, then he's she’s pullin' me in

In a world of boys girls, he's she’s a gentleman”

_____

paring: paige bueckers x fem oc

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Mya has always been named as a slut to so many people because of her ex girlfriend spreading lies about her and even her having her own podcast with her best friend Lily just makes it worse because now everyone knows about her, but what if someone who didn’t care what people said about her?

_____

November 5th 2023

at 6:30pm

MYA’s POV

“It just never stops.” I laughed as I tells a story about how I got approached in public being asked if I was Jennifer Lawerence when we look nothing alike.

“Bro that’s so funny like y’all don’t even look alike.” Lily laughs as they are laughing into the mic. Lily is the only girl Mya can trust. She was the only girl who listened to her about everything that happened with her ex and her reputation going down. She was always by her side.

“Okay now that’s enough. Now let’s get into the juicy stuff.” Lily said with a weird smile which made me laugh at her weird face that she made.

“Oh no.” I said dramatically being prepared for the questions Lily was gonna ask. “Since I am here, you should tell people what happened between you and you know who.” Lily said which makes me smile at her. She knows that i wanted to address it, but I couldn’t be by myself.

“Yeah, uh so. My ex started this rumor about me saying how I cheated on her during our relationship because I always hung out with Lily and she knew that she was wrong because turns out she was cheating on me the entire time and when I found out, she blocked me on everything, and moved out of her dorm so I couldn’t see her.” I explained with a laugh at the end trying to lighten up the mood.

“and how did you find out she was cheating?” Lily asked already knowing the answer. “I got a hey girly text.” I said laughing because of Lily making a disgusted face.

“she’s just so ew.” Lily says gagging which makes me laugh and nod my head. “Anyway, let’s talk about the women’s basketball team.” Lily says wiggling her eyebrows which makes me shake my head with a smile.

“oh no.” i said throwing my head back. The women’s basketball team at UCONN were really attractive and they were really good which makes them even more attractive. Lily has been having her eyes on Nika for a long time.

“oh yes. Nika is my bae even though she doesn’t know it yet.” Lily says which makes me sigh. “Girl, you are delusional.” I said as we both laugh.

“So you are telling me you don’t find any of them attractive?” Lily says which makes me smile and just stare at her which lets her know that she is not wrong. “okay, who do you think is cute?” Lily asks which makes me sit there and think for a second.

“Paige Bueckers probably.”

November 7th 2023

at 5:46pm

MYA’s POV

Im just sitting in my room on my phone just scrolling through instagram until i get a DM out of nowhere. I go to check and my eyes went wide when i saw that Paige Bueckers DM’d me. I go to look what she said which make a blush come to my cheeks.

Paige Bueckers

oh, so you think i’m attractive? 5:47pm

Mya Courtney

maybe i do. is that a problem? 5:49pm

Paige Bueckers

no problem at all. i just wanted to

ask something. 5:31pm

Mya Courtney

and that is? 5:32pm

Paige Bueckers

go out with me? 5:33pm

Mya Courtney

is this a question or a demand? 5:35pm

Paige Bueckers

both. 5:36pm

Mya Courtney

can i think about it? 5:38pm

Paige Bueckers

take all the time you need Mya. 5:40pm

no rush. 5:41pm

it’s not like i don’t want to go out on a date with paige, but what if this is some kind of joke? or me being on her little roster she probably has? why me? she could go out with anyone if she wanted to. she has to know the kind of reputation “i have” and she definitely has heard what people have said about me, what me ex has said about me and way more.

i just laid down on my bed as i started at the ceiling as the same word is surrounding my brain. why? why? why?

[acotar-taylorsversion]

So for some reason I got lost in the Elucien side of tik tok and, of course, they are convinced they are endgame. They are the ones who think Elain avoids Lucien because she’s trying to suppress her attraction to him and what not, but I just think that’s silly. Even though I agree with them about how we don’t know what’s going on in her head, I just find that theory ridiculous, especially when you look at the overall text that surrounds Elain and Lucien.

I am an Elriel supporter and have been since 2017, but I always have that “what if” in the back of my mind because we all know Sarah can just completely forget about what she’s written and do something totally different. My biggest fear is that I won’t ever accept Lucien. Like, I only really support him when I read those tiny moments when he’s talking about or with Vassa, because I can see that. But I’m scared I won’t ever accept Lucien or Elucien because of what we know.

I’ve never truly connected with Lucien. I always saw him as the annoying one. I never could understand why everyone finds him attractive or charming. I moved on quickly when we learned about his history, it didn’t really affect me. He’s just annoying to me. And I know he’s not a bad guy, like I don’t hate him. I just don’t care for him. I literally forgot all about his character in acomaf until he showed up again to kidnap Feyre, and I was totally dumbfounded when he said Elain was his mate. It was the most random thing to me. I remember reading that part 3 times because I thought I was crazy. And I was so so happy when he volunteered to go search for Vassa because that meant he was going to be gone for a while in acowar, and then I forgot about him again unless he was brought up. He’s just a very forgettable character to me and it’s going to take a lot for my opinion to change. Like I honestly hate that someone like Elain got mated to someone like him. It’s the most random thing.

Like 3 brothers x 3 sisters just makes so much sense to me and it’s so perfectly even and symmetrical. 2 brothers x 2 sisters, 1 sister x random guy, 1 brother x random girl just doesn’t make sense at all.

I don’t think I could enjoy the series anymore if Sarah has planned for Elucien and gwynriel all this time because why spend all that time building up Elriel? And I’m sorry, but people who say that they didn’t see Elriel moments as romantic clearly didn’t read them. I know we interpret things differently, but y’all are just delusional if you can’t see that.

I’ll go ahead and say it. The main reason I support vassien is because it gives Lucien a happy ending while elain is free to love who she wants and not who she is told to by the cauldron or whatever. I hate that she is being forced to make a decision that she should never have to make. And it’s not like we don’t have a reason to support vassien, there are some cute little moments between Vassa and Lucien. But even, with a vassien pov, I don’t think I would enjoy Lucien’s part. Another thing, I could totally see him dying. I’ve always thought he would seeing how he was becoming feyre’s friend and what not. That usually happens to that type of character in fantasy stories.

Who knows, though 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m just over all these things with the fandom here lately. From the doxx threats, forcing artists to quit creating art for us because of the hate they receive, the teasing from Bloomsbury, and this stupid ship war, I’m just mentally exhausted from it.

Sorry for the rant, guys. I’ll be more positive next time, hopefully lol 😆

Hope everyone is doing good after all that’s happened ♥️

[princessbellecerise]

Picture Perfect, II

──── ✧*･ﾟ*✭˚･ﾟ✧ ────

summary | Your sister Natasha is in trouble. You know it in your gut, and even moreso — you know it’s because of her so called ‘family’ the Avengers. It’s up to you to save your sister and yourself — before it becomes too late.

warnings | dark!peter parker, dark!avengers, non-con, kidnapping, dubcon, violence, loss of virginity (m. and f), manipulation, overall mature themes, stalking, delusional!peter, 18+ ONLY

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“I’m telling you guys, something isn’t right.”

Natasha had texted you early the following morning. Natasha never texted you.

Nat: Hey, I’m so sorry about last night. I guess I just got worked up over the most recent mission and I sort of had some flashbacks. Nothing too serious so I don’t want you to worry but I just want you to know that everything is fine and I love you.

You had stared at the text, analyzed it, read it forward and backwards and yet despite everyone else telling you that it was nothing, despite your own parents believing that text message over you when you told them something was wrong, terribly wrong - despite all that, you knew what you heard last night was anything but fine.

You knew. And you were going to get to the bottom of it.

You didn’t know exactly what happened, but you weren’t dumb enough to believe that it was because of a mission. You weren’t dumb enough to drop the way you felt after reading that text message, noticing several things wrong with it.

First, you noticed how robotic it sounded and extremely impersonal. The word’s definitely didn’t sound like anything Natasha would say and that worried you.

But, perhaps the most alarming thing was the nickname ‘she’ had sent in the text, or rather the lack of.

For as long as you could remember, Natasha never went a day without calling you голубка, which meant little dove in her native language Russian.

Ever since you were a child she’d call you that almost every time she addressed you, and now as you replayed the text in your mind, your gut was screaming at you that if it was Natasha that had texted you, then surely your given nickname would be thrown in there somewhere.

But no, it wasn’t. Which made you worry even more as you went to class that day, only expressing your concerns when you finally met up with your two best friends, Ned and MJ.

The three of you had been friends ever since your first year at MIT. You had roomed with Michelle—or MJ as she like to be called—and met Ned through a mutual friend you no longer talked to. The first time you guys had hung out, you automatically clicked, dubbing you guys the nickname The Three Musketeers. And making them the people you ranted to about Natasha when your parents wouldn’t listen.

“I’m telling you guys, the text she sent was superrr sus. And after what happened last night…guys I really don’t think it’s her,” You told them, and you knew from the moment that you opened your mouth, they thought you were crazy.

Ned and MJ shared a look, and though they would never say it to your face, you know that’s what they were thinking.

Everybody thought that, which was why this whole situation was so frustrating for you. Nobody believed you or your very valid concerns, not even your own friends.

“Y/N, are you sure that you’re not just spiraling again?” Ned asked, gently laying a hand on your shoulder. You hated how condescending he sounded. Like you were a child that lost their mind or something.

“Yeah I mean, I know you’re under a lot of stress because of Bernstein, you don’t think maybe this has anything to do with you being more paranoid than usual?” MJ offered.

You threw her an annoyed glance, at least expecting your conspiracy theorist friend to agree with you.

“No,” You let out a huff, shaking your head. “This has nothing to do with Bernstein, I promise. I just…”

You just what?

You stared at the sympathetic faces of both Ned and MJ and it was enough to have you pursing your lips, stopping your sentence in its tracks.

It was clear enough that anything you had to say wasn’t going to be taken seriously. Whenever you talked about this, most people would turn their noses up and tune you out because they just thought that you were crazy.

Something being off about the Avengers? Not a chance. They were America’s Heroes. Scratch that, they were the world’s heroes. Who would ever believe that something sketchy was going on with them? Certainly not anybody in your life.

You had to admit, it hurt a lot that not even your friends believed you. If anything, you expected Michelle Jones, the conspiracy theorist, to have your back, but there was nothing as she stared at you and you knew that you were alone.

You sighed, dropping your gaze before shaking your head.

“You know what,” You picked at your fingers as embarrassment creeped through your veins. “Just forget I even said anything, okay? You guys are probably right anyways. It’s probably just…stress.”

You cringed even saying it but what choice did you have? Expressing your concerns would be like talking to brick walls.

Ned smiled a little and gave you an encouraging look. “It’s alright. Trust me, we understand.”

“Maybe what you need is to just loosen up a little,” MJ shrugged as she picked her own nails. The chipped black nail polish nearly matched the pattern of your own. “Maybe you just need to…go to a party with me Friday night?”

She blurted it out so fast that you barely caught onto what she was saying, but when you did, you shook your head and quickly protested.

“MJ, you know that’s not really my thing,” You frowned slightly. “And with this paper due for Bernstein, I really gotta…”

“Oh come on!” MJ cut you off, sitting up on the bench you guys were currently sitting on. Ned had the idea that you all should wait outside of your chemistry class in order to get the best seats. Closer to the front was always a must, since your teacher had an accent that was sort of hard to understand. She was brilliant; but when trying to understand complex concepts it was sort of hard. So, you and MJ agreed. And now she was pouting at you. “We haven’t been to a party since…well, never.” MJ frowned. “But I wanna go cause Stacy invited me and I sort of…promised that I’d go.”

“So that’s why you wanna go,” You suddenly realized, a small smirk forming on your face. MJ blushed. “So you can see Stacy?”

“No, not just so I can see Stacy,” She interjected, but both you and Ned knew better. You exchanged looks and MJ scowled. “I also wanna go cause I wanna hang with you guys,” She explained, throwing her arms around you and Ned. Silence came over you both, and when MJ realized you weren’t buying it, she sighed. “Okay and maybe…I do want to see a little bit of Stacy.”

“Oh, I knew it!” Ned clapped his hands together and laughed. “You’ve been obsessed since like, first semester.”

“Have not,” MJ said, lightly pushing Ned’s shoulder. But you all knew she was lying. “I just…like seeing my study buddy. Is that so bad?”

“We all know you that likeeee her. You don’t have to hide it,” You teased, reaching out to squeeze her cheeks. Immediately, she scowled as she swatted your hand away.

“Shut uppp,” MJ replied, but the smile on her face told you that she wasn’t mad. You chuckled at your friend, shaking your head before Ned spoke again.

“Well, if you don’t want to go to the party, you can always help me build the new Lego set I got,” He offered, his eyes lighting up. “My Lola says there’s over twelve thousand pieces on this one. Sounds fun, right?”

“Right…” You hesitantly smiled at Ned and bless him, but you were not building another Lego set with him. Not after the last one that took forever and had you both pulling an all-nighter, which then caused you to fall asleep during your mid-terms. You still passed, but you vowed you’d never do it again which had you turning to MJ. With Bernstein’s paper due, you couldn’t risk anything. So, throwing an a apologetic look to Ned, you said, “On second thought, maybe I will go to that party.”

“Really?” MJ’s dark brown eyebrows shot up, but you could tell that she was presently surprised as a smile formed on her face.

You nodded. “Yeah. What time?”

“Ten,” She told you automatically. You thought you saw Ned pouting a little out of the corner of your eye.

But you didn’t say anything as you slowly nodded your head. “Great. I’ll be there,” You told MJ, smiling a little. “And I’ll be the best damn wingman ever!”

“Gee, thanks. You’re so supportive,” MJ said sarcastically, and though you all laughed at her words, deep down you felt a little sadness that you didn’t get that treatment in return.

You were willing to go to this party to help MJ with no questions asked, but she nor Ned would listen to you about your very valid concerns. The situation with Natasha was a legitimate worry that you had, but like always, you had to push it down cause no one would listen.

You thought it was a little unfair but you kept quiet. After all, that was what you were used to doing, and even if did bring it up again—who would ever believe you over the Avengers?

You chewed at the pencil in your hand, sighing and catching the attention of Peter.

He sat across from you in Marjorie’s — May’s — cafe, brown eyes looking up at the sound of your exhale and eyebrows quirking up shortly after.

It was obvious there were something on your mind, something that was clearly distracting you from paying attention to the advice he was giving you on how to go about Bernstein’s project.

But you didn’t even realize Peter had caught on until he spoke, surprising you.

“Is something the matter?” He asked, causing your gaze to finally flick from your paper to him. “Am I…God, I’m confusing you, aren’t I? I..I’m sorry, I-I know I’m not the best teacher but I—”

“Peter,” You cut him off with a small laugh, forcing a smile on your face as the thoughts from your head momentarily vanished. Honestly, you thought it was quite adorable how he worried he looked, afraid he wasn’t doing a good job.

But he was.

“It’s not you, it’s me,” You reassured him, causing him to relax a little. “My mind… I guess I’m just a million miles away today. I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” Peter said, quickly straightening up a little. “I-I-I get it. I’m like that too. Always something on my mind.”

“You have no idea,” You let out a breath, and Peter cocked his head curiously as you shut your eyes and rubbed your temples. It was obvious to anyone that you were stressed, but even more so to him due to his…senses.

He picked up on the dark circles under your eyes, and the way your face just looked…tired. Gently, he decided to reach out and grab your hand, squeezing it which caused your stomach to flip a little.

“Hey,” He gave you a small smile, relaxing you. “I get it. And if you don’t feel like doing this right now, we could gladly talk about some thing else,” He offered

You rose an eyebrow as he gently close his laptop, tucking it away in his case.

“Yeah, like what?” You questioned, biting your lip.

“Anything,” Peter shrugged, still smiling. “If you want to talk about whatever it is that has your head in the clouds, then feel free too. I cleared my schedule so I’d be more than happy to listen,” He told you.

Suddenly, you felt something twist in your stomach. “You didn’t have to do that,” You told him softly, knowing that he still had an internship with Tony Stark. “I’m sure you’re busy and well…you didn’t exactly volunteer to listen to my problems, so if you have somewhere else to be, we can pick up on this tomorrow—”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Peter squeezed your hand, causing your breath to hitch. “I’d much rather be here than doing errands for Mr. Stark,” He laughed quietly, his brown eyes gazing into yours. “If you can believe it.”

“I can’t,” You confessed, “But I mean if you want…”

Peter settled back against the booth and you rubbed your hands together as he watched you intensely. He didn’t push, rather he stayed quiet as you gathered your thoughts and tried to think of what you wanted to say.

“It’s just,” You started hesitantly, knowing full well he could call you crazy for what you were about to say. After all, Peter wouldn’t be the first person you expressed these thoughts to, but he would be new. You hoped that he’d at least hear you out instead of dismissing you like people usually did. And for some reason, you got the vibe that he wouldn’t. “It’s just well, I’m really worried, Peter.”

“Worried?” Peter reiterated, you nodded your head.

“Yeah. I had a phone call with my sister last night and while she texted me this morning saying that everything was fine, I just—I don’t know. I feel it in my gut that she’s lying.”

“Lying?” Peter rose an eyebrow, and you imagined your words sound quite strange without all the context. “Why…why would your sister be lying to you?” He asked.

You shrugged. “That’s just the thing. I don’t know,” You said. “That’s why I’m so worried. She wouldn’t have anything to lie about if everything was truly fine.”

Peter shifted a little as you went on and also told him about Natasha’s other strange behaviors. You didn’t tell him much, just enough for him the grasp the situation and certainly not every detail.

You didn’t want to give away too much seeing as well, no matter how comfortable you felt with him — Peter was still a stranger. You didn’t know him as well you knew your other friends Ned and MJ. In fact you barely knew him at all, but already he was listening more than other people ever did.

It made you feel warm inside that he seemed to genuinely take your words seriously.

“Wow that’s—” When you finished, Peter had a slightly disturbed look on his face. He scrunched his nose up and you nodded, agreeing with his expression. “That’s a lot…and honestly kind of freaky.”

“Right?” Your voice went up several octaves. From her not so secret spot behind the counter, May looked over at you. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell other people for quite some time now but nobody seems to believe me. They all think that just because she’s tough she can look out for herself, but even the toughest people still need looking out for sometimes, you know?” You asked Peter. “And I mean, Natasha is an Avenger, she can take care of herself but—”

“Natasha,” Peter stopped you mid-sentence, his mouth slightly open as you let the name and occupation of your sister slip out. He reeled back a little bit as if the realization just hit him like a ton of bricks, and you paused as you covered your mouth, obviously not meaning to let that slip out. “Your sister…is an Avenger?”

“Oh God, I wasn’t supposed to let that part slip out,” You said sheepishly, mortified by your own stupidity. “I’m so sorry,” But you weren’t exactly sure who you were apologizing to—Peter, or Natasha. As you got older, she had kindly asked you to limit the amount of people you told about her. As her missions got more and more dangerous, it was completely understandable but now you had failed.

Natasha had made sure that it would take some serious digging to even find you, which was why you felt guilty for letting it slip to Peter.

You weren’t supposed to say a word, but honestly though, he didn’t seem to mind much.

“Really?” There was excitement on his face, his eyes extra wide and his lips open in shock. “I had no clue that you were her sister. I-I mean, I’ve heard her talk about you before but I never…wow. You must be the girl she talks about all the time, then. The one that’s obsessed with thrifting old CD’s and stuff?”

Now, it was your turn to stop and pause, your jaw dropping at Peter’s words. Despite the topic, a strange feeling of giddiness rose in you, and a smile played its way onto your lips. “She…she talks about me?” You whispered quietly, and Peter nodded as he answered.

“Yeah, all the time,” He said, and then as if he said something wrong, he quickly backtracked. “Well, at least when I talk to her, which isn’t often. I’m mainly around Mr. Stark but sometimes I see the other Avengers and your sister seems pretty nice.”

“Wow,” You were in shock that your sister even mentioned you while she was at work, knowing how much of private person she was. Natasha barely talked about anything with anyone, seeing as her trust was limited, but the fact that she seemed to love you enough to even mention you made you beyond ecstatic.

“I…I had no idea,” You told Peter, now with a wide smile on your face. Now that that door was open, you couldn’t stop yourself from questioning him even more. “What did she say about me? How often do you talk?”

“Oh, not too often,” He told you, “And nothing but the good things,” Peter reassured you. “She mostly talks about how proud of you she is for getting into MIT early and things like that.”

“And anything else?”

“Well,” Peter rubbed the back of his head, somewhat avoiding your eyes. “Yeah, I guess. She sometimes mentions the things that you like, like roses being your favorite flower and how you’d kill someone just to eat the last blueberry muffin,” You both chuckled at this. “But mostly…she just brags about you and how smart you are,” Peter smiled. “She even mentioned some of your accomplishments, like being valedictorian. Which, by the way, is extremely impressive. Just thought you should know that.”

“Oh.” You couldn’t stop the blush that spread on your cheeks, and you were grateful that Peter wasn’t able to see it because you didn’t want him to know just how much his words flattered you. You pretended like you weren’t embarrassed by his praise, and instead sent him a short nine. “Well, thank you Peter. You’re quite impressive yourself.”

This caused his face to light up. “Really?” He asked, and you nodded.

“Of course. You got into MIT sooner than I did and well, you do work under Tony Stark,” You told him. “I can’t imagine he recruits just anyone.”

“Well,” The blush on Peter’s cheeks was enough to having you giggling. You watched as he humbly waved you off, but you knew that your words are true. You don’t think even you had it in you to snag an internship with one of the most renowned scientists in the world, and that was with your sister being an Avenger. By definition, you could’ve been a Nepo baby but you’re weren’t. Peter managed to do it all on his own. That really was impressive. He was really impressive, you realized with a slight glow in your chest.

Impressive enough to make you forget about what you previously were talking about.

You didn’t realize how quick the topic changed from Natasha, until suddenly Peter brought it up again, smacking you back to reality and snapping you out of your giddy phase as you tore your eyes away from his.

“So now that I know who you’re talking about,” He said, “Is there any reason in particular that you’re so alarmed about her?”

He studied your face. Analyzed the way your eyes slightly darted away, and he held his breath, wondering what the next few words that escaped your mouth would be.

Where did you even begin? At the beginning, you supposed, but even though you felt comfortable around Peter, you didn’t think you were that comfortable to tell him about all of it. It was almost like that day, and those feelings were a private part of you, and you weren’t ready to share them just yet, so you opted to tell him something else. “I just…I just think it’s strange,” You began, “How she sometimes interacts with the other Avengers. I mean, I know that they’re her coworkers, and probably her really close friends, but sometimes I just can’t help but think they seem a little bit too close, you know?”

No, he didn’t know. It was obvious that Peter had absolutely no clue what you were talking about, his face pulled into one of confusion. You knew that your response had shocked him, and bless his heart, he seemed to realize that you were studying his face and quickly got rid of that expression.

“Um…”

“It’s okay, you can say that I’m weird for thinking that,”You said, knowing that he was just going to be like everybody else. “I just…I just worry about her, you know? I worry about the way she interacts with them, and that she might not be as happy as she leads on. Ever since that day…well she’s barely called. She’s barely texted. I hardly ever see her anymore or hear from her unless it’s once a week, and I know it sounds weird but—”

Peter was quick to jump in to dismiss your concerns.

“No, no I don’t think it’s weird at all,” He said quickly, “But it’s just shocking to hear you say that. Kind of sad, if you know what I mean.”

“I do know what you mean,” You told him quickly, “More than you’ll ever know. It seems like I’m the only one that sees through the happy façade, but I mean, if you were to tell me it’s nothing as well then I suppose I will just sound crazy. But I just don’t think—I just can’t shake the fact that if they really were as close as they tried to portray, if they really were that picture perfect, I can’t help but think Nat would invite me over to the tower more. I can’t help but think that I would’ve met the Avengers more. I can’t help but think something strange is going on when Nat barely calls me, and when she does she just always seems so out of it.”

“Out of it,” Peter repeated your words, and you nodded. “How does she seem out of it?” He fiddled with his hands and began to tap the side of the table.

“If I’m being honest, I don’t really know,” You confessed to him, “I just know that the way she behaves just isn’t normal. Some of the things she says, some of the things she does…all of it put together it just seems strange.”

“Oh,” Peter was silent for a while as you stared at him, trying to gauge some kind of reaction from his face. You could tell that he was confused, and it was absolutely understandable, but he also look doubtful as well. You expected that, but the one thing you didn’t expect, was for the layer of understanding that washed over his face, his brown eyes glinting as he looked into yours once again.

“Actually,” He stated, shrugging a little bit, “I don’t think it’s as strange as you’re putting it.”

If you were expecting him to say anything, it definitely wasn’t that. You looked at him in shock, as his eyes slightly flickered behind his shoulder, over the counter to Marjorie, who had began wiping down the coffee bar.

“No, I don’t think it’s strange at all,” He said, “And in fact, I think it’s normal to worry about someone you love like that. Even if she is an Avenger, Natasha is still your sister, and I can definitely see where all this is stemming from. You’re probably super worried about her and the toll her job takes on her, and I guess it can seem drastic when you don’t see her as often. In fact, I kind of…I think May feels the same way about me these past few couple of years, so I wouldn’t feel too bad or really stress about it as much if I were you. It’s just part of our job, but that doesn’t mean we’re not okay.”

The words on your tongue seemed to falter a little bit, but luckily, you recovered yourself and managed to let out a small sound that almost sounded like like relief.

“Wow,” You couldn’t stop the smile that creeped on your face as you stared at him. “I…I mean as far as it goes, that’s kind of exactly how I feel. People always tell me I’m crazy to constantly worry, but I can’t help it you know. I love Nat, and it would kill me if something was wrong and I didn’t know until it was too late.”

“I get that too,” Peter said, once again glancing at Marjorie. “You want to know everything about the people that you love and it sucks when you feel like they’re hiding something for you. But maybe…” He bit his lip and that was when he looked back at you. “Have you maybe consider that if Natasha was hiding something from you for any reason, that it might be a good thing? That it might be because she doesn’t want to have you shoulder the burden as well, that maybe it’s her protecting you from the truth? I mean the things that she deals will are incredibly dangerous. We all saw those files she leaked a few years ago. Things like that…it puts you on the radar of some pretty dangerous people and maybe she doesn’t tell you to protect you.”

Well, you most certainly did not think about that. Ever since that day, you had the feeling in your gut that you had to protect Natasha from whatever it was that was going on with her that caused her to change so drastically, but you never considered that maybe she changed or maybe she never said anything because it was you that she had to protect.

“That…makes a lot of sense when you put it that way,” You admitted to Peter, “I guess…I guess I was so focused on protecting her I didn’t really stop to think if she was doing the same. I know that if the roles were reversed, and Natasha wouldn’t stop until she found something she was satisfied with.”

“And are you?” Peter asked, elaborating when he noticed that you looked confused. “Satisfied that is,” He added, causing your eyebrows to shoot up.

“Honestly,” You looked at him and you found that you could only tell him the truth. “No, no I’m not satisfied,” You confessed, picking at the polish on your finger nails. “I haven’t been satisfied with her excuses in a while. And I think it’s because I can never just shake the gut feeling I have that she’s not being quite truthful with me.”

When you finished, you noticed that there was an unfamiliar glint in his eye as Peter looked thoughtfully the table. It seemed like his own brain was coming up with a response to what you just said. It looked like he was trying to use his words carefully, and it took a while to respond. But when he did, you knew it was only when he picked the perfect words to say to you.

“Can I tell you something?” He suddenly asked, and against your better judgment, you were quick to nod.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” You told him, and Peter sighed like what he was about to tell you something you might not like.

“I think…I think that over these last couple of years, both you and Natasha have been under a great deal of stress. I mean you said it yourself—she’s an Avenger, and as much as you might not believe her, she does go on missions. I’ve seen it myself,” He admitted, “and truth be told I think that if you knew any of the Avngers then you’d see that they’re all in the same boat. It’s a lot of pressure even just being around them, and I can’t imagine actually having the responsibility to save the world on your shoulders, every single day. So I understand why it might be so hard for you to believe her, but I think it’s true. I think Natasha is telling you the truth, and from everything I’ve observed about the Avengers, she is. I’ve never seen anything that would indicate something is wrong, and if I did, I would never lie to you about it. I just think your sister is under a great deal of stress and like I said earlier, going weeks or months without talking to her tricks your brain, and makes you think it’s a lot worse than it really is. But if you were actually around her more frequently like I am, I think you’d see that it’s just an everyday thing and you really don’t have anything to worry about. I know it may be hard, but I’ve been working for Mr. Stark for years and I can honestly say that what you see is what you get. The Avengers for the most part are picture perfect. And I think, that no matter how hard of a time you have accepting that, it’ll be a lot better if you do. Because if you don’t, I think you might end up like May here and eventually run yourself to death carrying all that stress.”

As soon as you got home, tiredness seeped into your veins as you threw your bag down before plopping on your bed.

Peter had helped you finish up the rest of your proposal, and it was with great relief that you managed to submit your new draft after praying to every God there was that Professor Bernstein would accept this one.

You saw no reason that he wouldn’t, seeing as Peter pretty much gave you the outline he used for his paper, and he had gotten an A+ on it. You were sure that there was no way Bernstein would refuse you again, and the thought made you smile, grateful that Peter was there to help you.

Now that you thought about it, it really did seem like he came just in time to save you from repeating this class. Now that you had his pointers, the only thing left to do was put all of the data you had gathered from Marjorie together and submit it—along with a few of her family heirlooms you promised to return.

Admittedly, it kind of made you sad that the worst was now over because it meant you didn’t really need Peter anymore. You liked hanging out with him; he was fun and easy-going, and just all around sweet compared to most of the males that you interacted with. Except for Ned, Peter was the only other boy that you could envision actually wanting to hang around long-term.

You thought about this, and what it meant as you picked your nails, still laying down on your bed.

Dinner was supposed to be ready in a few, and your mom was cooking a traditional Russian dish that Natasha used to request all the time. It used to be her favorite, so you decided to clear your mind before you at, going to the shower to wash up.

Once you had everything you needed, you stepped into the warm water and let it relax your body, letting out a sigh.

You were finally able to wash away some of the stress that you had been feeling from the past few days. Not only from Bernstein’s class, but also about your feelings from Natasha, which Peter had sort of put to rest.

With his reassurance and advice, you felt a little lighter, like you could relax now and finally see that maybe you were exaggerating a little. After all, Natasha was fully capable of handling herself if something truly was wrong, right?

She’d fought aliens before. She didn’t exactly need her baby sister trying to protect her.

It was because of these thoughts that you were finally able to let loose and enjoy your shower. When you were done, you stepped back into your room, towel tightly wrapped around your body as you rummaged through your drawers for some clothes. You opened the top one, looking for your night clothes, and as you did you noticed that it seemed just a little bit cooler in your room than it usually did.

You didn’t remember leaving the window open, but when you turned around, it was slightly ajar, which lead you to stare it for a couple of seconds.

Maybe mom came in to clean and accidentally left it open, you thought.

It seemed like such a small coincidence that you didn’t really worry about it much, simply walking over and reaching over your desk to close it.

Your hands were just about to yank the glass panel down when something else caught your attention, though, making you freeze in your tracks.

A familiar ringtone erupted from your phone; a ringtone you had specifically set for one person. That way you would never miss her calls or mistakingly decline thinking she was someone else.

It was a ringtone you had saved only for your sister, and before you knew it you were abandoning the window and darting towards your phone and picking it up.

You felt like you were about to stop breathing as Natasha finally came into view, sporting a weak smile and staring at you with those same sad eyes that she wore yesterday.

Yesterday when she called you. Yesterday when all those weird things went on. Yesterday was only a day ago, not a week. So why exactly was Natasha calling you?

“Hey,” She was the first to speak, her voice hoarse as if she had used it tremendously in the past few hours. Not only that, it sounded…strained. Like she was sick or something. But Natasha showed no signs of being ill the previous day, so it lead you to wonder what it was really about.

“Hi.”

Your voice shocked you. So small and quiet, almost like you were afraid to raise your voice after yesterday. Like you were afraid to say the wrong thing in the wrong tone and have your sister freak out like she did yesterday.

You hated it.

You hated yourself for treating Natasha like a child, or holding back like she would break at any moment. Like she wasn’t the strongest woman you knew. You hated it, but yet, it’s all you could do as you stared at your tired, sad sister.

“How are you?” Natasha’s voice remained in the same tone as yours, and you took the phone and set it on your desk so that you would have a better angle. You now had your back to the window and shivered a little as the cold breeze traveled across your freshly scrubbed skin.

“Good,” The word came out with a slight nod. “I’ve been pretty much the same as I was yesterday when you called. Just busy with my paper and such.”

Natasha’s throat bobbed up and down as you mentioned this, but her face remained clear of any emotion like the truth she was. she asked that Is Peter Parker still helping you with that?” She asked, and Do you know a small smile coming to your face as you thought of him.

“Yeah,“ You said a bit more shyly than you wanted. “Peter’s been a great help. He helped me finish my proposal and I submit it this afternoon. I’m waiting to see how that goes.”

“Yeah,” Natasha let out an uncomfortable chuckle, her eyes flickering with an emotion that you seemed to miss. down in a small side, escaping her lips. “Well I’m glad you finished it at least. I know how much you said that class was a pain in your ass.”

“You have no idea,” You blew out a breath, “Bernstein’s been making my semester hell. But like I said, Peter’s helped me a lot. I’m really thankful that I met him when I did.”

Natasha said nothing. Which was odd, because your sister always had something to say whether it be bad or good.

You waited for her to give you her two cents on Peter, as surely she had picked up on the way you talked about him. But…you waited, and it seemed like the only thing Natasha was trying to do was not say anything.

After a few minutes of silence, you finally asked, “Is…everything okay?”

“That’s good,” Nat avoided your question, causing you to worry but you remembered what Peter said and decided for once, to just let it go. “I just hope you aren’t ditching any of your other friends just to hang out with him.”

It was supposed to be a joke, but her tone very much lacked the humor that was supposed to go with it.

“Don’t worry,” You reassured her, “Ned and MJ are very much still in my life. I saw them today. MJ invited me to a party and Ned was trying to convince me to build another 12,000 piece Lego set with him. This time though, I put my foot down and said hellll no.”

You left out the other parts of your conversation. Nat’s ‘shadow’ was still behind her. You didn’t want to say anything to alert him or set her off again.

Your words caused Nat to chuckle a little. You didn’t realize how much you had missed the sound, or rather, the genuineness of it.

“Good, good. And Mom and Dad?”

“Still as busy as ever,” You slightly rolled you eyes which only Natasha would understand. “Dad just got back from a conference and Mom is in a good mood so she’s cooking Okroshka tonight to celebrate. Your favorite,” You added, as if you both didn’t already know it.

“Hm. Sounds good.” Natasha nodded in approval, and you could see the way she licked her lips which caused you to smile.

At least that hasn’t changed, you thought.

“And anything else? I know I haven’t exactly been that involved, I want you to tell me everything cause I’m sure there’s a lot. Even the things that you might think are small, I’m still interested.”

Her green eyes bore into yours, and you furrowed your eyebrow as you could tell there was a deeper meaning to her words. Natasha was searching your face, or quite possibly everything about you, trying to use her spy training to uncover anything that she might have missed.

But you were confused. What exactly was she looking for?

“I think I tell you pretty much everything there is know when you call, Nat,” You say, beginning to get a little uncomfortable. “And besides there’s not very much that goes on my life, sooo…the only really new thing is Peter helping me with my paper.”

“Right,” she chuckled humorously at this. “And is that all?” She pressed, causing your attention to snap towards her. “Is there something more between you two, or…”

“No, no nothing like that,” You reassured her, suddenly wishing you had some water. All of a sudden it got hot, despite your window being open. “Peter and I are just…we’re just…we’re friends. He’s just helping me with this project and I doubt we’ll really even hang out after this, unless he comes by Marjorie’s to say hey or something.”

“Okay. Good,” Dare you say that Natasha looked relieved as the words awkwardly flew out of your mouth, and the shadow behind her twitched a little. You saw him turn his head towards her slightly, and if you weren’t mistaken, a small grunt left his lips open high immediately caused Nat to backtrack. “I mean, I’m sure there’s anything wrong with the kid, but I just…I just think you should catch up on your studies before getting involved with something, more you know? I mean get that you’re growing up, but are you really ready for the stuff that comes with a relationship, like sex and—”

“Oh come on Nat! Ew!” You groaned, not really wanting to talk about this with your big sister. “Don’t do this. It’s almost embarrassing as getting ‘the talk’ from mom and dad,” You told her.

Natasha chuckled once again.

“Please, just don’t even.”

“Okay, okay,” She finally agreed, holding her hands up as a small smirk played on the side of her lips. For just a split second, she looked like the old Nat and she blew out a breath, laughing at your clear embarrassment. “I’m just trying to make sure you know that there are other things out there than boys. I don’t want you getting caught up too soon cause you never know, right?”

“Rightttt,” You drew out the words slightly, rolling your eyes at your big sister. “Thanks, but no thanks Nat. This thing you seem to have imagined between Peter and I is not happening. He’s just a friend, and even then I don’t think he’s even interested in me. So really, you have nothing to worry about.” You said. “Capeesh?”

“Capeesh,” Nat seemed satisfied with the answer, but you couldn’t help the slightly nagging feeling in your chest as you played with the hem of your towel.

“But if there was something between us…”

“Y/N!” Natasha scolded you as you laughed, playing with a random figurine on your desk. She shook her head at you, but you weren’t done wondering what it is she seemed to have against your new…erm, friend.

“What?” You took in her expression, which was clearly disapproving. “Would it really be so bad? I mean, this is Peter we’re talking about,” You gave her an obvious look. But judging by the expression on her face, it was that bad.

“I already told you I want you to focus on school, not boys.”

But Ian! you defend yourself, shrinking back into your chair, but I mean, like you always say, I’m supposed to have fun too, right? And I know you tell me which ones to stay away from but I mean are boys so bad when they’re nice, and funny and—”

“Not Peter,” Natasha cut you off quickly, causing you to huff again. She sat up straight, suddenly becoming extremely serious. “голубка, please. Послушай меня, когда я скажу тебе, что тебе не обязательно сейчас встречаться с такими парнями, как Питер. (Listen to me when I tell you that you don’t need to be dating boys like Peter right now,” She begged you in Russian. You knew enough to understand her.

You furrrowed your eyebrows as Natasha seemed to suddenly flinch at something behind the camera.

“Boys like Peter? Nat what does that mean?” You asked, appalled.

“дерьмо…”

“Nat?” You sat up straight so that you could look into the camera. You could tell she muted you because all background noise ceased to exist, and she was saying something but you couldn’t tell what cause she moved her face from the frame.

Dammit. Sneaky spy.

You had to wait until Natasha got done talking with whoever it was she was conversing with, and while you waited an uncomfortable twinge pooled in your stomach. You stared anxiously at the camera until suddenly, the volume was back on and Nat’s nervous face came into view again.

“Sorry about that. Bucky was just telling me something about a mission,” She told you quickly, before you could even ask. “I’m fine.”

“…Okay,” you decided to just believe her and shrugged your shoulders, but you weren’t done with the topic you guys were discussing. “But just tell me this — why not Peter, Nat? I mean he seems like a really nice guy. Is there something he’s said or done while at the tower that makes you say that? I mean I know you guys have talked a couple of times but if he had any red flags why’d you tell him all about me? You don’t just go around telling everyone how much I like thrifting and blueberry muffins, do you?” You joked, but instead, Natasha just went white.

You knew the minute those words left your mouth that you had said something wrong. You weren’t sure what, but the unmistakable terror that gathered on Natasha’s face let you know everything you needed to know.

It triggered that feeling in your gut that you had felt so many times before, when you knew something was off, and it was pounding at you, gnawing as Natasha suddenly stood up and yelled something at you.

“Y/N—never—met—he—”

She was breaking up.

You groaned in frustration as the phone began to glitch out, the older device no doubt overheating after such a long conversation on FaceTime.

You grabbed your phone from where it was propped up on the desk and it was indeed hot, so you stuck it out the window in hopes of it cooling a down a little.

“Hang on Nat, I think my phone is glitching. Sorry, is it okay if I call you back when it cools down?”

“Y/N—please—I—”

“I love you too, Nat,” You told her, assuming that what she going to say. Your smiling face was still in the camera but hers had turned into a blank caution screen. Not soon after that, the phone hung up itself instead of reconnecting so you only assumed Nat heard you and had agreed.

You sighed, a little bummed that your call had gotten cut short but it quickly went away when you heard your mother calling you for dinner.

It was time to eat, and you noticed that you were still in your towel so you changed and made yourself presentable.

You chose some simple sweatpants and a tank top before booking it across your three bedroom apartment to where your mom and dad were sitting down, the smell of Okroshka filling your nose.

You inhaled, and when you sat down you thought of Natasha the entire time you ate and aimlessly chatted with your parents about your day.

When you finished, you cleaned your plate, bid good night to your parents, and rushed back to your room to see if your phone had cooled down any.

It had, but still, the one thing that stuck out to you was that there were no missed calls or texts from Natasha.

You sighed.

Oh well.

[obsessivebisexual4tevan]

ok so your blog totally has me thinking of the chaotic power of buck and alex meeting while tommy and henry have to ensure their dumbass boyfriends don’t destroy something.

you know tommy and henry would be smitten and totally in love but they got to keep it together because someone has to have a brain cell in this friend group.

they would get roped into the shenanigans by buck and alex though and everyone around them would be stunted at the fact that there is two disaster bisexuals.

the super six and 118 meeting would just be unreal and could you imagine the interactions?

anyways I’ll be off in my own delusional world where this is a reality.

Oh I love this idea!

I have so many ideas that work with these four and so little time to write. But I hope to make it happen (as soon as I get the opportunity to read the book, I might need to make this AU happen).

Alex and Henry are both fascinated with Buck and Tommy's jobs as firefighters. They have so many questions and want all the stories. They find news clips of some of the rescues and taunt Buck and Tommy about some of them (think Buck tackling the baby napper+ Tommy and the rooster type calls).

Buck and Alex would not only "torment" Tommy and Henry (lovingly), but they would drive the 118 crazy.

The four of them at a pride parade where Henren are introduced would be total chaos... maybe I should add Tarlos, too. Just imagine the 8 of them all in one place. They might need Athena on standby, haha.

Eddie and Alex meet, and suddenly, it's a game of "who is the best Diaz" and "you have to choose a favorite" (blame it on the alcohol they consumed on this outing).

Tommy and Henry's text exchange is full of "how do you tame your bisexual disaster because my normal methods are not working right now" type commentary and questions.

Buck and Alex brainstorm new ways to be a menace to their boyfriends, encouraging each other to dumb things.

Not to mention the chaos that would be that group chat. I could see both Buck and Alex playing the " my boyfriend said he didn't love me anymore because..." and it's over something silly like Tommy or Henry doesnt want to listen to that song for the 800th time.

I need my library hold to be available so I can read this book and start this chaos, lol.

[capturethestars]

i haven’t made a post on tumblr in literal years, but man, do i need to talk about the bear. specifically sydney and carmy.

i’ve seen the season 3 times now (i know, i know) and i just can’t get enough. it’s so good. don’t ask me to describe why i love it because i can’t. it’s perfect.

and carmy and sydney… oh man.

i know there are some of you that don’t ship them and i totally respect and understand it. i didn’t see any romance until the last episode and even then i felt like it was a hard, hard reach. but man, after rewatching it and paying attention to things that i didn’t think too deeply about during my first watch, i don’t see how anyone can say they don’t have chemistry. at the very least, they have chemistry.

i have so many thoughts. and so many moments stand out to me now that make me feel less delusional for shipping them. like the obvious one where carmy texts syd as he’s opening a note from his dead brother (and smiles when she tells him to shove acid up his ass). but there’s so. much. more. like when he tells tina she’s dressed like syd (instead of just saying “hey you’re wearing the blue apron like EVERYONE ELSE,” but no, he has to mention syd. of course he does) or the fact that early on he asks sydney what’s going on with her and later his sister complains that he never asks how she’s doing and he says something about not really having the capacity to ask other people how they’re feeling. or the way he smiles at her when he tells her she’s hired. or the way he stares her down. i mean come on. the staring is something i picked up on during my rewatch but once i noticed,… wow. or the fact that they both ate some of marcus’s donut off the floor. or or or

i will say despite all of this, i love that there is no real semblance of romance in this season, that all we can do is speculate. clearly the show doesn’t need it, and i love that.

[sparkle-d]

waiting game | daniel ricciardo

pairing: daniel ricciardo x you

summary: in which you switch your phone with daniel's without knowing

tags: falling in love; chatting and messages; kind of enemies to friends to lovers

warnings: insecure reader; f!reader; dumb people

chapter: 4/?

(you: blue/ daniel: orange)

✧.* tag list: @bloodyvalentine93 @organasith @verstappens-hat @idkiwantchocolatee @landhoe @theplobnrgone @iamasimpingh0e @chiliwhore @buendiabebeta @icecoldtiress @holy-macncheese-balls @caosfanblr @cxliforniadream @calmleclerc @hannahholland1811

chapter 4 - beginning

hot stuff said: oh shit

hot stuff said: i just cut my thumb really badly

hot stuff said: don’t ask how

ma fraise said: how.

hot stuff said: i was shaving my hand…

ma fraise said: at the same time that i want to know why you were shaving your hand i’m a little scared to ask

hot stuff said: to have soft hands what else would it be

ma fraise said: idk you are "“kinky

hot stuff said: w-wht

With the blink of an eye, your vacations have come to an end.

You didn’t do anything special with your free time, aside from enjoying your own company and watching the most chick flicks you could. Even with the amount of movies and young adult series you’ve been binge watching, you still have a single and persisting thought inside your brain. You had a conversation with hot stuff a few days ago, the one he mentions about fancying you, at least that’s how you interpreted his text. 

This continues to make you wonder between yes, he made a move on you and no, you’re being delusional. You like hot stuff, his company and to talk with him during your days and nights, but you can’t put your mind to believe that he would find you attractive. Maybe this is the way friends joke around with each other and you’re not used to it because your two best friends are more like your brothers and they would never do something like that. 

It makes you confused.

You didn’t mention this to your best friends because 1. you felt weird about commenting on this kind of stuff with them, when you normally have nothing to comment about so you just don’t talk about it with them. And 2. they know who hot stuff is, and exposing that he made such a move on you is embarrassing.

Pierre and Charles have no filter in this matter, they always mention to you about their partners, people they hook up with and it’s so normal to you, you don’t even mind it anymore. But thinking about opening up about it to them when the issue is on your side, it’s different. They wouldn’t do anything to make you feel ashamed of it, but they definitely would lecture you about not being innocent and naive about things. They would want to protect you like they always do.

The truth is, you never felt desired.

You actually never gave the opportunity for anyone to see you with different eyes; you always tried to hide yourself from everyone, if someone turned heads on you, you would assume they were thinking badly about you. Well, and you’re probably right.

“You’re the ugliest out of all of us.”

You grew up in this reality - the reality that every single cell in your body is hideous. Your hair sometimes covers most of your face, leaving only a small gap for your  eyes to pop out. Your skin feels too hot against your palms, making you think that your touch is feverish. The lines on your face are too deep and that makes you not smile too much, not that you’re someone who often gives away smiles out of nowhere, anyways.

You never felt beautiful.

When Charles and Pierre became your  best friends, the friendship started because they never cared about your appearance. They never judged you for the way you’re, the way you look, or the way you dress - Pierre and Charles never tried to change you. Even though you are a very hard person to have around, in your opinion.

They came into your life and never left.

Your best friends could have anyone around them, they easily make friends without problem. But there’s something they share with you, they’re very anxious people. With you, Charles and Pierre have nothing to worry about. They always say you are a very sincere person, you never lie to them, never hide things from them and would never replace them with someone new.

You feel the same for the both of them, and as years went by, you noticed that now they understand you. They understand that you don't like crowded places, that you like the silence and being alone. Well, you like to be alone with them, mostly. You enjoy watching chick flicks with your best friends, especially because even when things don’t work out in the beginning, in the end, everything is worth it. 

Sometimes you need some positivity inside your brain.

Maybe you should start to believe more in yourself. 

—

Charles takes off the protection on your ears, patting on your shoulders “Oh, I’ve missed having you around.” He gives you a smile, side hugging you “I didn’t see you arrive at the garage today.”

“I got late this morning, you know, I got used to watching the races from my television, so I did not calculate correctly the time I needed to get ready and get here.” You arrived at the paddock late, a coffee in one hand and another holding your notebooks and papers “I ran immediately to check in if everything was right.”

“I bet they are.” Charles says as if you would let him drive in a car that wasn’t in a perfect and safe state “Want to check in with Pierre? I haven’t seen him either and you will go there anyways.”

You nod, checking one last time if everything is okay, making sure you can relax a bit with your friends “Yeah, I was about to head there.”

Sometimes you can’t turn off your brain from being focused on the race, but being anxious and worried about everything all the time is the ‘you’ that you want to change a little inside.

If Charles, who is racing later on, is okay with hanging out with his friends, you can do it too.

Pierre gives you and Charles the biggest of smiles, waving as he sees you - acting like he hasn’t seen you in years when in fact you had dinner together yesterday. Having them with you during race weeks, hanging out around the garages and smelling the oil and burnt tyres in the air, makes you nostalgic.

This was your childhood, and things didn’t change at all. It makes you feel warm in your heart.

You only notice that Pierre isn’t alone when you’re too close to run away from it.

“Oh my god, yeah, you’re a Ferrari member.” Pierre shouts at you, touching your Ferrari uniform - looking like a couple of tomatoes with Charles “Red looks good on you, lucky you went working with Charles and left me alone.” 

You can’t concentrate on whatever Pierre and Charles are starting an argument on, something about you having a preference for Charles and making Pierre feeling lonely, when in fact you used to share beds with Pierre and leave Charles to sleep on the ground when you were younger.

Your attention is completely on the man in front of you smiling, looking like the menace he is because he knows his presence annoys you, he annoys you - and he likes it. He likes to see your cheeks turning redder as you try to avoid his stare, leaving your shyness as a view he enjoyed seeing.

“So baby girl is a Ferrari staff.” Daniel leans closer to you and bumps your shoulder with his “I didn’t know you were working here, thought you were only friends with these two.”

You open your mouth to retort Daniel, but when you look up at him, you notice he’s having fun with your embarrassment. Your cheeks are getting a tint of red so bright, anyone around the paddock could notice it. Is this how Rudolph feels? You let out a breath and decide to put your mind in its right place. You shouldn’t feel ashamed or anything, when in fact is Daniel the one saying embarrassing things. 

You can deal with it.

“That’s only my part time job, my full time job is being an engineer.” You reply the most simple thing you can think of, if your interaction with him ends fast, it’s easier for you.

“This means I will have you around more.” Daniel grins, as if he has won something, when in fact there’s nothing to win here “I knew I should’ve known who you are, you’ve always been with these two.”

“Thank you for making it more evident that my presence is unnoticeable.” You give him a fake smile, crossing your arms, you don’t want to talk with him, but you stay beside him.

“Not at all, I think your presence is very noticeable.” He winks, but you are not in the mood, especially because you didn’t know you would see him around today “You’re mysterious and that intrigues me.”

You look at him, not getting what he means by that, but when you are about to ask it, Charles speaks louder.

“She’s happier when YOU win.” Charles says, his tone a little louder as the discussion with Pierre got heated, bringing your attention back to your best friends.

“Well, you win all the time, of course she’s happier when I end up winning.” Pierre shrugs. They aren’t serious about this discussion, but they’re using real arguments on this. Pierre is right, you made a fuss when he won, of course you did it for Charles every time he won, but with Pierre you even cried.

Well, you cried on Charles' first win too.

Charles snorts “She works with me, she shouldn’t be happier with your wins, dumbass.” 

“Are you trying to get me fired, Charles?” You say, but your voice comes out almost like a whisper and you giggle in the end, to make sure anyone notices you’re just joking. 

“Do they always fight for you like this?” Daniel crosses his arms, interested in all of the dynamics with your best friends.

“They aren’t fighting…” You try to say, but your voice again fails you and it comes out too weak “They are just messing around.”

“I’m on Charles’ side, I think you’re favoriting Pierre in your actions.” Daniel simply says, mocking you with his tone. You don’t want him to meddle in, to have an opinion or a side. You aren’t close to him, you barely know him. Until a couple of weeks ago he didn’t even know your name.

“Thank you.” Charles says “She even has a tradition with Pierre before every race. Me? Nothing.”

You beg with your eyes for Charles to shut up, but the person you didn’t want to notice is the one that notices first. Daniel lets out a loud laugh, going back to your eyes and staring at them. This time you try to not break the stare, and try to pierce him with your glare.

Pierre looks at you side by side with Daniel, only noticing now how close you two are “Are you friends now?” He raises an eyebrow, and Charles immediately does the same.

“I wouldn’t call it like that.”

“We are building up our friendship.” You and Daniel speak at the same time, exchanging looks as the answers are not on the same side “Don’t be jealous, I’m not trying to be her best friend, just a friend.”

Daniel bumps into you again and you snort, but wanting to leave a smile at the thought. Not that you like the idea of being Daniel’s friend when you’re always bothered by him. But having a new friend, of any type, is something new to you. Charles and Pierre have been trying for years for you to open up to new people, and now someone is there willing to destroy your walls and share a space with your best friends.

Charles looks at Pierre and they exchange a look that you can’t comprehend what it means, maybe they are indeed jealous of you. They don’t need to be, no one will ever replace them inside your heart.

“Anyways, I think it’s time for us to prepare ourselves.” Charles finally says it, looking around and notices everyone in the garage is wrapping things up “Just do your thing with Pierre and let’s leave.”

The tradition you have with Pierre is that you always close his racewear, for good luck. Pierre puts his overalls on his shoulders and you zip them up, tapping his chest in the end. You give Pierre a kiss on his cheek and wish him good luck, and do the same with Charles, so he won’t have such a pout on his face. His expression lights up immediately, the least thing you would want is for one of your friends to feel left out.

“And me?” Daniel says, showing his left cheek to you and standing still. 

Pierre and Charles are watching Daniel waiting for your kiss. You look at them as if they were crazy, almost laughing on Daniel’s face. Why would you kiss his cheek? Why would he ask you for it in the first place? It’s not like you’re uncomfortable with it, but you aren’t leaving kisses everywhere you go. 

“I would rather die, Daniel.” You answer, if Daniel has no shame in asking for a kiss, you shouldn’t feel ashamed to answer him like that. He deserves it.

“Ouch, you’re in a bad mood today cupcake?” 

“For you my mood is always bad.” You say. Daniel seems to be having fun with this, and it infuriates you even more.

hot stuff said: how do you know if you’re into someone?

hot stuff said: i think i might be-

ma fraise said: what?

ma fraise said: falling in love?

ma fraise said: kdfjgnsdfkj

hot stuff said: this sounds so boring omg

hot stuff said: falling in love and etc

hot stuff said: but yeah something like it ig…

(prev chap // next chap)

[nightcrawlerzincorporated]

Ruminating once again about Luther McDonald. How he’s the kind of man who, when he couldn’t afford Christmas presents, went house to house stealing other people’s so that his family still got to celebrate. The way how, even though he and Mrs Mac clearly don’t love each other (the fan theory that they’re in a lavender marriage is my best friend), he still always comes home to her when he can and she still covers for his crimes. The implication, however vague, that at one point there was at least friendship between them that shines through even after years of apathy and hate. The picture of the three of them hugging and smiling that Mac has on his bedside table. There was something there, before he was sent to prison. In Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender, the first thing Luther does is go and spend time with Mac while also apologizing to people he’s wronged. He makes plans to take Mac and Charlie to the baseball hall of fame like he knows Mac’s always wanted. He’s genuinely trying to be a good dad in this episode. And yeah, at the end he says he’s gonna kill Mac next time he sees him, which is an awful thing to say even if you don’t mean it, but when he actually does see Mac and Charlie again in Mac and Charlie Die, he immediately clarifies he just doesn’t want to see either of them again. In his letter at the end, he clarifies further to Mac that he wants some distance to “learn how to forgive you”, even adding, “P.S. I still love you”. Before he’s put back in prison.

This isn’t to say that Luther is a good father by any means. He’s a homophobic dick. But I think he’s more complicated than some people give him credit for. There’s this ongoing thread about how the American prison system harms people, harms families. There’s this impression that I get watching through the series that Luther was a kind of scummy guy who was trying his best to provide for his and love his family and being sent to prison where he experienced violence and had to become more violent in return just continued to deteriorate his mental state which in turn deteriorated the mental state of everyone in his life. Each time he gets sent back to prison, he gets more cruel, more angry. And I know that even the show sometimes likes to act like he’s just always been this awful person, but I don’t think the text taken as a whole actually supports that. I think Dennis sees Mac’s hope that his dad will one day say he loves him again as delusional because Dennis accepted at a young age that his own father doesn’t love him (even though Frank clearly does love him to some capacity he’s just a deeply fucked up person and—sorry, this isn’t about Frank). But I think Mac’s hope comes from this belief that the decent person his father once was still exists. Mac’s love for his father is based on something, even if that something has been far away for an increasing number of years.

And I think taking all this in about Luther just makes Mac Finds His Pride even more fucked up. Because Mac’s dance isn’t just about coming out as gay, it’s about his feelings about God and his feelings about his father. Mac was using performance art, something which the show has established is very important and personal to him and the rest of the gang (it’s pretty much the only way any of them express genuine emotion), to reach for a moment of connection with this person who he hasn’t felt connected to since his early childhood. To express to the man who wasn’t around to see him grow up what it was like for him. The way he saw God and love and men and women as only being able to exist in an extremely specific way that were all tied into each other and tied into each other in a way his own personal feelings didn’t align with and the way that fact tore him apart. Because he always just wanted to be the perfect straight Catholic son his dad wanted instead of just letting himself be himself. But he realized the only way he could be happy was by being himself, and he accepted (hoped) that was something God could forgive him for, and in turn hoped was something his dad could forgive him for. But Luther had already given up on Mac as a son before he even said he was gay. He doesn’t want a moment of connection with him, a spark of recognition or understanding. Maybe at one point he would have tried, would have at least stayed for the whole performance, but that point is long gone. He can only see Mac as someone who ruined his life—who sent him back to prison when he finally got out, who made his case against murder charges and his time in prison more difficult. He wants a son who never wavered in their devotion or love for him (the way God in Catholicism is often depicted as wanting unwavering love and devotion), and he doesn’t see Mac as that kind of person. But Mac’s love for his father wavering or being thrown into question doesn’t change the intensity or existence of that love, just like his relationship with God. And if Luther tried, he’d see that. And maybe on some level he knows he’d find that connection if he tried. So he doesn’t.