#I don't care how it happens and under what circumstances I just NEED IT

[basim-ibnishaq]

in desperate need of a xinamiguel spiderman kiss

[areyoudoingthis]

I understand 100% of nothing

[cradle-quill]

I want to keep you in diapers all the time. Not just when it's fun or convenient, not just when you're feeling little and flirty. I want to ground you in your submission to me, and I want to do so through your diapers. I want them to be a constant reminder that not only are you incapable of being a big girl and using the potty like an adult, but also that you chose this. That no one forced you down this path, but you followed it anyway out of your own volition, because you wanted it that badly. You so desperately desired to be held that deep by me.

But that means wearing your diapers out in public, and adjusting your wardrobe to suit your new needs. But Daddy still wants you to look cute for him, so don't think it'll be all baggy sweats and long shirts every day. You'll have to learn to feel comfortable in your short little skirts with a diaper slightly peeking out beneath, just how Daddy likes to see you.

It means cutting up and throwing away all your big girl panties, because you won't be needing them anymore. You'll have to carry a large purse or diaper bag at all times, and keep it stocked up with your changing supplies. When you're by yourself, you'll be expected to change on your own, but when we're together, Daddy will always be the one to change you. You won't be allowed to do it without his assistance, even if that means having to change you in family bathrooms or the trunk of my car.

And you'll have to wear your diapers when seeing friends and family, too. No days off, under any circumstances. This is your life now; it's not just something you can do half-way once you've decided to commit. Daddy will let you decide whether or not to tell them, but honestly, he thinks your life would be much easier and happier if everyone knew what a baby you are, and nobody even attempted to treat you as anything else.

That means telling your doctor, too, because Daddy isn't going to allow you to not take care of yourself. You'll just have to tell them you can't stop having accidents, and that will be the truth. Because after awhile, you won't even feel it happening anymore. Give yourself enough time in diapers, without holding back, and you'll be having real accidents just like the helpless little baby you so desire to be. Don't fight it anymore, little one. We both know this is what we both want.

[yan-lorkai]

Hi, so I've read the rules, but I'm not sure how much I can ask for. Can I get a headcanon about the TWST Housewardens finding out that the GN! reader has a boyfriend? Oh, and the reader's boyfriend is just some random student NPC in their dorms. If it's too much, just some of them reacting would be cool. Thanks!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: Finally done, yay! Been a while since I wrote for all the housewardens so it is a little lengthy. Hope u enjoy, darling!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Tw: Yandere content, stalking, implied violence and kidnapping.

He's been watching you this whole time, feeling his heart beat inside his chest whenever he heard your sweet laugh and saw you smiling. His feelings slowly start to grow as you become friends, but there's just one problem: You have a boyfriend. What an unpleasant surprise! Well, what a shame that your boyfriend will disappear under suspicious circumstances that will never be resolved and he will be right here by your side to comfort you :)

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Azul know just what to do. He plots and plans and trap your boyfriend on a deal he can't refuse. It's a tricky deal, trickier than usual, I mean, a one in a lifetime chance, whatever it is. However you won't never know what happened to him, not when you come to Azul asking if he knows something, not when he is comforting you and rubbing your back as you cry while he pretends to be just as sad as you. As if he ever feel sad to lead your boyfriend to his demise when he can have you like this, when he can mend your heart himself and love you like you deserve. Though when you recover Azul will show you just how devotion and love truly feels. He has been deprived of it for too long, bullied and teased, and he will have you, even if you found out about the deal, even if you claim to hate him, he can bear it.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Kalim is a sweetheart on the surface level, so happy all the time, so friendly. But he is oh so suffocating, always touching your arm and pulling you into a hug, kissing your cheeks and forehead and laughing when you tell him to knock it off. People always tend to assume he is your boyfriend and tell you that you too are a very cute couple, and they're always shocking when you tell them that Kalim isn't your boyfriend but just your bestie. Not yet, at least. On an intimate level, he likes to think about what to do with your actual boyfriend. People love money more than they love humans. Can he bribe him? If so, how can he guarantee that he won't go back on his word? Or should him send Jamil to do his dirty work? Mmm, so many options, either way, by the end of the month your boyfriend will disappear and you will need a friendly shoulder to lean on and Kalim is more than happy to be there for you.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Idia already has Ortho investigating this student and is so easy to watch him since he is in Ignyhide. He isn't worthy your time, your love and care, he is but a little plankton, not very smart or interesting, Idia don't know what you had seen on your actual boyfriend but he is never going to tell this to your face. Instead, he invite you to his room to play and study, assuming a more softer approach about this little problem than most yanderes, telling you how your boyfriend has been acting strange and visiting another person's room for a very long period of time. He even show you a very factual and not at all fabricated camera footage as a proof. Idia considers himself a very good friend when he comfort you and wipes your angry tears, telling that you deserve better, that he can treat you better. After all, it wasn't your fault that your boyfriend was a cheater. And Idia can show you what true love is.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Vil is horrified about your taste in men. Like, really, Liebling? You love this... Thing? Well, He has to give recognition where it is due and as a Pomefiore student, your boyfriend tried to polish and better himself. Though it wasn't enough. He wouldn't be good enough for you even in thousand years. Vil likes to imagine how he would take care of you, love you, polish you. He likes to imagine how he'd let down his walls around you and told funny stories from his movies or backstage gossips. Knowing you have a boyfriend kinda of shatter those thoughts. He tried to be happy for you, he really tried but in the end he couldn't help himself. So he created a potion, so sweet and yummy, and gave it to your boyfriend. Simple as that. Having you crying on his lap was just a bonus, a bonus Vil would cherish dearly.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Malleus has what he wants. And he wants you. It's only natural that things will fall in order after he states his claim on you, every single little thing start to goes wrong in your relationship and you, stressed and sad, tells Malleus every single thing while he comforts you. Sweet words are whispered in your ears, great dreams greets you everytime you sleep and in your dreams you are always so happy by Malleus's side, exploring woods and swimming in lakes, petting sheeps and listening to the birds singing. Simple things. Great things. While you sleep, Malleus send nightmares to your boyfriend, makes him so horrified and paranoid that he can't even form coherent thoughts. He wants you and he will have you, even if he has to tear you two apart like this, since your boyfriend took to isolate and murmur to himself.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Riddle doesn't like this. He quite dislike your boyfriend a lot, he is messy, a rule breaker, a bad student, he isn't worthy your time and love. Riddle is consumed by a jealousy that make him see red, nowadays he is always collaring your boyfriend, always making him busy so you two can spend less time together. And if you come to Heartslabyu to try and spend time with him, Riddle will just lie to you and tell you he didn't do anything and has no idea about what you're talking about. Yes, he gaslight you. But he is doing that because he knows what's good to you and that is certainty not your boyfriend. Instead, he fills your head with doubts and lies, and takes you to the Unbirthday party so you can have a little fun. Savor the present moment, the little snarky jokes Riddle tells you and the delicious tea. Forget about your boyfriend before Riddle takes matters into another level.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Leona is smug. Like, really? You love this guy? He is so much better than your boyfriend, more smarter, stronger, he huffs whenever he see you two being all cute and chummy together. He should be the one holding you, kissing you, cuddling you. You are his precious mate so he put all his effort in conquering your heart and love. And when Leona is determined to do something there's nothing in the whole world that can make him stop. He plans and make so many strategies in order to be successful all the while he has Ruggie making the dirty work for him. Kill him, bribe him, whatever, Leona will make you a single person again before making you fall in love with him. Even if he has to turn your boyfriend into dust, he will without thinking twice.

[taylormarieee]

Wanna make out in the backseat of my brothers car? Sam Winchester

Summary: You and Sam planned on just making out but what happens when it leads to more...

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 932

Warnings: PiV sex, Clit rubbing, sensitivity, overstimulation, Kissing, hair pulling kink, praise kink, Sam being an absolute slut, established relationship, Car sex, Dom!Reader, Switch!Sam, Creampie

A/N: Strictly written for my wife @dollyfl1rt for you babygirl

You have been dating Sam Winchester ever since his last girlfriend died. You took it slow and let him grieve.

You two were like peas in a pod. Always together, laughing, hunting. It was always hard to go on dates considering the circumstances of a Supernatural crime happening all over the world.

Demons, shapeshifters, wendigos, and vampires. It was so much for you yet so exciting and exhilerating.

Tonight you and Sam went out for a little night drive in Deans car. You had to negotiate a plan with him.

Granted it took like two hours of begging, you made him crack. Now here you two were sitting on a hill in front of the city.

"God, it's so pretty, don't ya think Sammy?" You ask, staring and admiring the stars.

"Yea, it is. But not as pretty as you" He says with a shit eating grin on his cute features.

"You are so corny you know that." You say laughing in between sentences.

"Yea, I know." He says laughing with you as he rubs your thigh. "One of the many things I like about you." You compliment.

"He smirks and turns his head towards you shuffling his hand higher up your thigh.

"What other things do you like about me?" He asks. You turn to him and smile.

"I love your hair and how soft it is, I love your face, I love your jawline, and I love your lips and how soft they a-are."

You notice him getting closer and his hand going higher until there under your mini skirt.

His face gets closer until your noses are touching. "You wanna feel how soft they are?" He whispers to you.

He watches you squirm in your seat and you whimper. You frantically nod your head and he grabs your neck and smashes his lips on yours.

You moan in to the kiss and he stars rubbing your clit through your panties. You squirm and whimper at his warm touch on your soaking wet pussy.

"Y-You like that baby?" He whispers into your mouth. You nod and whimper out a 'yes'.

He loved watching you squirm whenever he touched you like this. All in your areas and making you all hot and flustered.

"Sam please, please I need you." You moan out, "I can't sweets, it's my brothers car, He'll kill us."

"Sam I don't really care, we won't have another time. Please Sammy.”

He stares at your glossy eyes and finally gives in. “Ok but this is the first and last time baby, we say nothing to him.”

You nod your head frantically as a silent promise and he grabs your hips dragging you over to him.

You grab his face once your settled on his lap and he reclines the seat as you place your soft lips on his.

He is the one to moan into the kiss now. You begin to grind on him in a slow motion and he groans squeezing the flesh at your hip.

You take of your shirt leaving you in your black bra. He skillfully slides his cold hands to your back and in clips your bra.

You tough on Sam’s hair and he moans. You keep tugging on his hair and he continues to moan out grasping your ass.

You start to grind faster on the rough denim of his jeans. You tug on the hem of his shirt so he could take it off.

He takes his shirt off and unbuckles his jeans and pulls the down far enough to let out his cock.

His boxers are being tugged off by you and you both are rushing so eager to touch and feel each other.

You pump his cock and Sam let’s out the sluttiest moan known to man.

You moan as you slide down on his length. He fills you up so nice.

You begin to bounce on his cock, your breast bouncing all in Sam’s face.

He begins playing with your tits and throws his head back when you roll your hips in a type of way.

“Fuck you feel so good! You fill me up so nice Sammy.” You whimper out.

“You gonna cum inside me Sammy? Please cum all inside me sam.” You whimper out.

“Shit. Holy~f-fuck, I’m gonna cum baby.” He moans out. You roll your hips, grinding on him nice and fast.

You bounce on him non-stop until you feel his cock twitch inside of you.

You feel him shoot his warm seed inside of you nice and deep inside your velvety walls.

“oh f-fuck baby.” He moans out. You continue to bounce on him after his orgasm not letting up and he begins to squirm.

“baby! Ahh~ it’s t-to much!” He whimpers out. You roll your hips on him and finally stop.

He then begins to ram into your tight pussy from below you.

“Cum for me now baby! Come one you can do it sweetheart. So wet for me.”

You whine at his praise and hide your head in his neck and whine incoherent nonsense.

You chant Sam’s name like a prayer. You feel your orgasm approaching and he chuckles.

“Let go mama, let go all on my cock.” He whispers. You moan his name and cum all on his cock.

You shake at the feeling of your pleasure coursing through you.

When you finally catch your breath you look around and notice deans car windows are all fogged up.

“Remember baby, not a word about this, okay?” He asks once again.

“Yea. Yea I know.” You say smiling before kissing him once again.

Taglist: @itzdarling @dollyfl1rt

[midastouch013]

Deserted Island

Based on this request

Summary: You and Natasha have never been exactly 'friends', but will it take a change when a mission gone wrong ends up with you both on a deserted island ?

Warnings: None

P.S : In all honesty, I will admit this isn't one of my best works, but I promise I'll try to make the next ones better.

--

The mission had gone south faster than a lead balloon. As you stumbled towards the Quinjet with Natasha by your side, every step felt like a monumental effort. Pain seared through your arm with each movement, but you gritted your teeth, refusing to slow down.

Natasha glanced at you, her expression unreadable as always. "You okay?"

You forced a smirk, despite the pain. "Just peachy. Though, I've had better days."

She rolled her eyes, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "Clearly."

Natasha wasted no time in getting the jet off the ground, her hands flying over the controls with practiced ease. As the Quinjet soared through the sky, the tension inside matched the turbulence outside. You winced, clutching your injured arm, feeling Natasha's icy gaze upon you. "Well, that was fun," you muttered.

Natasha's response was her signature deadpan stare. "Define 'fun'," she retorted, her tone as frosty as ever.

"Oh, you know, the thrill of dodging bullets, the rush of adrenaline," you quipped, flashing her a crooked grin despite the pain pulsing through your arm.

She rolled her eyes, the corner of her lips twitching slightly. "Remind me to skip your idea of a good time next time."

You sighed, leaning back in the chair, having finally wrapped your injured arm in the time you had shared this small conversation with the redhead, closing your eyes to rest. But when you thought you were in the clear, ready to catch up on some sleep, alarms blared throughout the cockpit, lights flashing red.

"What now?" you groaned, opening your eyes to see Natasha cursing under her breath, her fingers flying over the controls in a frantic dance.

“ Engine Failure, So much for Tony’s tech skills”

As the Quinjet soared over the ocean, tension hung heavy in the air. And then, it happened. The engine stuttered, and warning lights flooded the cockpit.

Natasha's hands continued to fly over the controls, her movements precise despite the urgency of the situation. "Brace yourself. We're going down."

You clenched your jaw, your heart pounding in your chest as the Quinjet descended towards the deserted island below. The impact sent a jolt of pain through your arm, and you bit back a curse as the aircraft came to a halt.

When the dust settled, you exchanged a glance with Natasha. "Well, that was one way to make an entrance."

She didn't respond, her attention focused on assessing the damage to the Quinjet. But you couldn't resist needling her, even in the face of danger.

"You know, if you wanted a vacation, all you had to do was ask. No need for the dramatics."

Natasha shot you a glare, but there was a flicker of amusement in her eyes. "You're unbelievable."

You grinned, despite the circumstances. "You love it."

—

Natasha had wasted no time slipping into survival mode, rattling off a list of tasks with her usual efficiency. "We need to build a shelter, gather food, and start a signal fire. And considering how you're usually useless, and with your arm like that, you're going to be even more useless."

You raised an eyebrow, feigning offence. "Hey, I resent that remark!"

“And I resent you”

You opened your mouth to retort but decide against it, and close your mouth as the redhead begins her litany of survival tasks, her tone growing more exasperated with each item she mentioned. 

"Build a shelter, gather food," she repeated, ticking off each task with a stern look. "And don't think I'm going to do all the work here.", her statement contradicting the one about you few minutes prior

You met her gaze with a raised eyebrow. "Relax, Romanoff. Shelter's already taken care of—The Quinjet, in case you were wondering. And I'm pretty sure we packed enough MREs to last us a week. All you need to do is chill, and let's figure out how to get an SOS out there without throttling each other."

Her expression darkened slightly at your casual dismissal of her plans. "This isn't a joke, Y/n. We need to be prepared."

You shrugged, unfazed by her disapproval, and started walking towards the Quinjet. But true to her competitive nature, Natasha swiftly picked up her pace, walking ahead with purpose.

Rolling your eyes at her stubbornness, you followed after her. 

As Natasha and you scrambled through the Quinjet, searching for a way to signal for help, she discovered a compartment marked with Stark Industries logos. 

"Found it," she declared, flipping open the panel to reveal an array of switches and buttons. With practiced efficiency, she activated the emergency call beacon. 

Within moments, Tony Stark's face appeared on the small screen. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Romanoff and Y/l/n. What's the emergency, ladies?"

Natasha smirked, her usual reserved demeanor easing into a more relaxed banter. "Quinjet down on an island. Need a pickup."

Tony leaned back in his chair, a playful glint in his eye. "You know, I thought I told you not to break my toys, Natasha."

You couldn't resist chiming in. "Don't worry, Stark. It's in one piece—mostly."

Tony chuckled, his charisma palpable even through the screen. "Alright, alright. Rescue's on the way. ETA tomorrow morning. Just hold tight."

Natasha nodded, her tone more businesslike now. "We'll be ready."

The call ended, and you shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, that's that. Rescue's coming. Might as well enjoy the beach while we can."

Natasha raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement in her eyes. "You never fail to find the silver lining, do you?"

You grinned, heading towards the exit of the Quinjet. "Hey, might as well make the most of it, right?"

–

As night settled over the deserted island, you stepped out of the Quinjet after a quick trip to the restroom. The cool evening breeze swept over the beach, carrying the distant sound of waves crashing against the shore. To your surprise, in the most random occurrence, Natasha emerged from the sea, drenched and shivering, her usual composed facade slipping for a moment.

You sighed softly, shaking your head at one of her occasional lapses of common sense. Grabbing a towel from the supplies Tony insisted on keeping in the jet for emergencies, you approached Natasha, who protested half-heartedly as you draped the towel around her shoulders.

"Come on, Romanoff," you said gently, guiding her towards the Quinjet. "Let's get you warmed up."

She hesitated for a moment but relented, allowing you to lead her back inside. Once there, you headed to the spare room where you kept a change of clothes—something you always packed, just in case.

Natasha watched you with a mixture of reluctance and gratitude as you handed her the clothes. "I appreciate the gesture, but I'm fine."

You chuckled softly. "Sure you are." With a playful smirk, you added, "Besides, I think you'll look better in dry clothes."

She raised an eyebrow, but there was a flicker of amusement in her eyes as she took the clothes from you. "Fine. But don't get used to this."

Moments later, she emerged from the room wearing your hoodie and sweats, her hair still damp and her face scrubbed free of makeup. Despite her disheveled appearance, there was an undeniable allure to her, and you couldn't help but notice how stunning she looked in your clothes.

"You wear my clothes nice, Romanoff," you teased, a genuine smile tugging at your lips.

She rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Don't make a habit of complimenting me."

You chuckled softly, feeling a warmth spread through you that had nothing to do with the tropical climate. 

“ Duly noted” you say with a smile on your face “ I’m gonna watch the night from the top, you’re welcome to join”

The redhead gave you a look which screamed ‘ I don’t know what you minted to do, and its probably not good, but I’m still tagging along’

The night air was cool and soothing as you and Natasha sat atop the Quinjet, both lost in contemplation under the soft glow of the moon. Your injured arm was snug in a makeshift sling and bandage, a constant reminder of the day's events. The silence between you felt heavy with unspoken words and unexplored feelings.

Finally, unable to bear the quiet any longer, you turned to Natasha with a sarcastic quirk of your eyebrow. "So, Romanoff, remind me again why you hate me so much?"

She glanced at you, her expression guarded but tinged with something softer beneath the surface, seemingly caught by the unexpected question. "I don't hate you, Y/n. I just... find you infuriating."

You chuckled softly, the tension in your shoulders easing at her honest response. "Well, I'll take that as a compliment coming from you."

Her lips twitched, almost a smile, before her gaze returned to the moonlit horizon. "You don't make it easy, you know."

You sighed softly,. "I know. I have a knack for pushing people's buttons."

There was a pause, the sound of the ocean waves filling the space between you. Then, tentatively, you reached out, placing a hand gently on Natasha's shoulder. "But I also know there's more to you than meets the eye, Nat."

She stiffened slightly at your touch, but didn't pull away. Her voice was quieter now, vulnerable. "You don't know me."

You met her gaze steadily, your tone sincere. "Maybe not. But I'd like to."

As Natasha's dry chuckle echoed in the still night air, her words carried a weight you couldn't ignore. "You really wouldn't," she insisted, her voice tinged with a hint of resignation. "And if you did, you'd regret it."

You rolled your eyes in response, a silent retort forming on your lips. Instead of arguing further, you reached for your phone and pulled up your Spotify downloads. Scrolling through the list, you found the slow, melodic tune you knew was her favorite.

With a smirk, you hit play, letting the music fill the quiet space between you. Natasha's surprise was evident, though she tried to mask it with a casual glance away. The song's gentle melody wrapped around you both, weaving a tender thread of connection in the cool night.

Taking a deep breath, you held out your hand to her with a goofy grin. "Come on, Romanoff. Dance with me."

Her initial instinct seemed to be to refuse, but something in your demeanor or the unexpected gentleness of the moment made her hesitate. Finally, she relented, placing her hand in yours with a faint sigh.

As you both swayed slowly to the music, the silence between you spoke volumes. You took the opportunity to explain yourself, your voice gentle and sincere amidst the playful banter that usually defined your interactions.

"I do see you, Nat," you admitted softly. "I see the tough exterior, the walls you've built. But I also see the strength, the loyalty, the way you always have our backs, even when you push us away."

She listened quietly, her gaze softening as she met your eyes. There was a vulnerability in her expression, a rare glimpse behind the mask she wore so well.

"You're not easy to read," you continued, a small smile quirking your lips. "But I think that's part of why we clash. It's also why... why I can't help but want to understand you better."

Natasha's expression softened further, a mixture of surprise and something deeper flickering in her eyes. She didn't respond immediately, but the fact that she hadn't pulled away spoke volumes.

"And hey," you added, injecting a hint of your usual sarcasm to lighten the mood, "even if you decide to kill me later for this moment of vulnerability, at least we'll always have this dance."

She huffed a quiet laugh, the tension between you easing as you both swayed together in the dim light of the Quinjet. The song played on, a gentle backdrop to the unspoken understanding that had bloomed between you.

In that moment, surrounded by the quiet of the night and the warmth of the music, you realized that perhaps there was more to your relationship with Natasha than just witty comebacks and some frigidness.

[soldiersslut]

GHOST OF YOU — SOLDIER BOY "CHAPTER FOUR"

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Female!Reader

Warnings: Language, drug and alcohol use, sexual advances, canon-violence, violence towards reader, and Soldier Boy being Soldier Boy

Word Count: 4,611

Author's Note: Thank you so much again for all the love and support!

IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED PLEASE LET ME KNOW. DON'T FORGET TO FOLLOW, HEART, AND REPOST. THANK YOU AGAIN!

You faced the consequences of yesterday’s event today in the morning. It ached for you to get up, and remembering who caused your pain made you huff. Although you did not appreciate being thrown against the wall by Soldier Boy he did save you. Speaking of the devil you wondered where he was, or Butcher and Hughie. The room you were in was unfamiliar, but recalled the team was going to crash at Legend’s apartment.

You grabbed your phone from your pocket and noticed it was early in the morning. Yet, it sounded like everyone was awake. You noticed a fresh pair of clothes was laid out for you. Another shower was very much needed. It was a huge relief to feel actual water pressure hit your skin. It made the soreness more tolerable. After taking your time you dried off and got dressed. As soon as you opened the door you could hear Legend making a big deal out of something.

Butcher and Hughie were by the door. The closer you got to where their attention was at Soldier Boy’s voice sounded loud and clear.

“What is happening?” you asked. This may be the last time you will ever get curious about anything.

“Hughie, listen, these women, they’re like fine wine. Okay, the older they get, the more delicious, but the drier.”

You let out a gasp, and Soldier Boy immediately looked at you. His dick was hard, and the sight of you made it worse. He could not get his eyes off of you as he jerked off. With you, he wouldn’t need any lube. Your natural juices would take care of him and technically, he already knows how your body looks underneath. He knows the way you moan and images filled his mind.

Legend wasted no time in kicking out the maids. Hughie was disturbed and Butcher carried on as if nothing has happened. You had to look away entirely and avoid eye contact. You were so speechless you took no part in the conversation about Mindstorm’s whereabouts.

Finally, when a plan was made you offered to hit up the pharmacies. Though Butcher denied.

“Actually, why don’t you stay back and keep an eye on him?” he motioned towards Soldier Boy who smoked away and minded his business. You shook your head. Under no circumstance were you going to be a babysitter.

If everything Legend said last night was true then Soldier Boy does have a weakness.

You.

Or at least who you used to be.

It didn’t matter to Butcher, but he was going to take advantage of it. “Hughie and I will head out. Just make sure he doesn’t lose his shit.”

Butcher gave you no opportunity to argue. They left right away and you humph. You were hoping Butcher was making a joke out of this and at some point between now and the flight of stairs he and Hughie were climbing he’ll change his mind. Though neither one or the other looked back. Great, now it was you and him.

Your back was towards him but began to turn to look at him, “let’s make one thing very clear. While we are waiting you need to keep your dick in your—“

You stopped talking at the sight in front of you. Soldier Boy took the opportunity that you and him are alone. He removed the robe and dropped it to the floor. His hands were on his hips and just waited. The way your eyes looked down right away and gasped made him smirk. He was very proud of his size and your reaction is definitely on the top of his list. You turned to look away very quickly and covered your eyes with your hand, because apparently just closing them isn’t enough.

“Seriously?!” you snapped. You really hoped Butcher and Hughie will be back soon. “I was going to say keep your dick in your pants!”

Soldier Boy let out a laugh, “come on sweetheart, don’t pretend you did not like what you saw.”

You ignored him and walked away. You headed up the stairs without looking back. Legend was scolding his maids for their inappropriate behavior. That was another image you wanted to remove from your head.

Legend insisted in buying breakfast and have it dropped off, but you were against it. You began to make yourself a meal. Eventually Soldier Boy decided to come up the stairs, fully clothed. He passed by the maids and they blushed. He winked at them and they giggled like a bunch of schoolgirls.

He took a seat on the couch and watched you cook. Whatever it is you are making was smelling delicious. Once you were satisfied you got a plate and served yourself.

“The hell is my plate at?” Soldier Boy asked. You scoffed, “just because I am a woman doesn’t mean I am your maid. You want to eat? Make your own damn food, or ask one of them to make you food.”

Soldier Boy got up and sat across from you at the table. “Don’t sound too jealous now, you were closer to getting me than they did.”

That was nowhere near the point you were trying to make. “I could care less who you sleep with or not. I am trying to get you to understand that this isn’t the 50s or 80s now. Whatever women can do, men can do too. This also goes vice versa.”

Legend was reading an article on his phone, but you trying to talk some sense into Soldier Boy proved to be entertaining. The argument lasted for ten minutes. Just like before, the only person Soldier Boy was willing to have an argument with is Mimicry. If it was anyone else he would have ripped out their spine. In the end, Soldier Boy won and he got half of your food.

“This is fucking delicious, holy shit. Whomever thought women can do so much better than cooking must have gotten some shitty food.” You never felt so flattered and offended at once. You were done eating before he did. He looked like a madman eating a home cooked meal. It made you wonder how the past 40 years went for him back at Russia. How bad was it that he blew up out of nowhere too.

“What?” Soldier Boy asked without needing to look up. He could feel you staring at him, and it was annoying him.

“What happened back at herogasm?” you asked. He stayed quiet and stared down at the food. You sighed, “people got hurt for no reason. It was only supposed to be the twins. I don’t want to believe you did it on purpose. That’s why I am asking.”

“I am aware of what happened” he snapped, “and I don’t know. All of a sudden I got flashbacks, and I felt tense. Something was crawling on my skin and I was unable to get it off of me. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone”

For some odd reason, you believed him. You can see the conflict in his eyes, and there was even a hint of regret. Everything he was saying sounded like he has PTSD. You weren’t sure it was a good idea to say anything about it. It was best not to ruin the moment.

“Little by little, you’ll learn to adjust it. If you ever find yourself feeling like that again why don’t you think of something happy? I’m sure there is at least one thing that made you happy before everything went to shit.”

Soldier Boy knew the answer to that and looked into your eyes. Now your mouth was moving in automatic mode. “I never got to thank you for saving me, twice.”

He could have sworn he only saved you once and that was when Homelander was going to blast you. “It was right before you exploded. You pushed me out of the way.” Ah, he remembers now. He pushed you out of the way to avoid his blast but the twins were targeting you, and he did not think twice to protect you.

There’s that damn look. He could recognize it anywhere and at that moment he felt himself with Mimicry and not with you. You caught him looking down at your lips. He was in a trance, but when you leaned back to avoid him getting closer he snapped out of it. Even he realized what he was doing and right away hid against the wall he made for himself.

“Next time don’t get in my fucking way. You won’t be so lucky whenever shit gets ugly. So, do us a favor and don’t be a burden. None of us need to be carrying your dead weight. Honestly, how fucking stupid do you have to be to be going with us on these missions. You are nowhere near close to our skills and experience. You’re like a gum underneath my shoe. You just stick and never get off.”

His remarks shocked you and left you dumbfounded. Right away your shocked expression turned into a scowl.

“My dead weight?! I can take care of myself. I was put in a bad situation because you dragged me with you! You do not know how much of an essential I am!”

“I dragged your little ass with me because you did not stay outside like I had ordered you to do so. Now that I think about it, maybe if you did not get in my way I wouldn’t have killed more than what was needed!” His words made you see red and without a second thought your hand went up and slapped him across the face. Soldier Boy did not expect you to lay a hand on him which is why his head turned because of the amount of force you put into it.

You got up from your chair and walked away. Soldier Boy also stood up. He was quick on his feet that the chair fell back. “You fucking bitch! Get back here!”

Legend had to get in between the stairs and Soldier Boy. He was trying to reason with him and possibly calm the soldier down.

“She shouldn’t have laid her hand on me! The bitch is going to get it sooner or later!” Soldier Boy yelled. He grabbed the chair and threw it across the room. The chair broke into pieces due to the amount of strength he put into the throw.

“Fuck! Mimicry would never do some shit like that! I gave an order once and she followed without a second thought!”

Legend had to remind Soldier Boy again that you weren’t Mimicry. That only made him angrier, but not to the point his chest would start to glow. It was a good thing Legend had another stash of weed hidden in case of emergencies such as this. He told Soldier Boy to sit and relax. Shit, he even offered if he wanted to fuck the maids he is more than welcome to. Soldier Boy smoked and took him up on the offer.

He made sure he was loud enough that you can hear him from your room. He was too angry to care about their pleasure. He was seeking his own pleasure and once he had it he told them to fuck off.

You listened to the entire thing and all you can think of is how much of a man-child Soldier Boy truly is. Though, you were scolding yourself for not thinking twice about slapping it. Soldier Boy is a vengeful person, so you need to watch yourself and avoid ever being left alone with him. You stayed in the room with the door locked until Butcher and Hughie came back.

They were able to locate Mindstorm. They’re back on the road, and this time you sat in the front passenger side. Soldier Boy sat behind the driver side (where Butcher drove). He had the perfect spot to keep an eye on you. You looked unfazed, but you avoided interacting with him at all. Butcher and Hughie could feel the tension, but they knew it was better not to ask.

The car stayed two miles away from the cabin. The rest would be walked on foot. You made sure your gun was fully loaded and there was one bullet in the chamber just in case something went south and you just needed to push the safe down.

You were relieved Soldier Boy hasn’t done anything to get your attention. He was walking ahead of everyone and in the mean time you came up with a plan to trap Mindstorm. It was nerve wrecking to know his capabilities. Your nerves began to get worse when Soldier Boy would stop and ask if we said anything. The paranoid fuck was stoned and hearing things.

“Great way to get him off the edge,” you said sarcastically. It was all Butcher’s fault for getting him addicted to weed. Either it will be the greatest thing to tame Soldier Boy or it’ll be their deaths. Speaking of death, you felt it on your door yet again when an explosive went off that sent all of you flying. You were starting to heal and once again you’re about to be in pain.

In the midst of all the fog Mindstorm caught Butcher off guard and put him to sleep. An argument ensued and you blamed the broad man who felt no remorse for his stupid mistake.

“You should have looked where you were stepping on!” you snapped. Hughie knelt down to try and wake up Butcher, but there was no point.

“Get off my back! That could have been anyone else!” he yelled.

Fuck! Nothing ever goes write with Soldier Boy! It always ends with it being a big fucking mess, and who has to deal the consequences? Everyone but him! The anger was seeping through and he could see right through you.

“I fucking dare you to act,” he got so close he stared down. He hoped you would try to attack him again, only this time he will be ready to give it back tenfold. Instead of giving him that satisfaction you walked past him to follow the direction Mindstorm left towards to.

Soldier Boy and Hughie called out to you, but you ignored them.

“She is going to be the fucking death of me,” Soldier Boy was frustrated with you to say the least. He let out a sigh and followed behind you. “Stay here,” he ordered Hughie. It was your own anger that betrayed you because now you are alone with him.

Soldier Boy waited for the both of you to be a good distance away from Hughie. When he saw an opportunity he grabbed you and pushed you against the wall. His hand wrapped around your neck and he lifted you from the ground.

You gasped and began to fight violently against his strength, but it was no use. You can see the anger and no matter how much you tried to kick it was no use it.

“I’ve had it with the fucking attitude. I have tolerated you to my limit and guess what? You slapping me? That’s crossing the fucking line. I am a gentleman, but I am more than happy to put you in your fucking place. I don’t know how this little circus team of yours sees you as an asset, but I do not. Try me again, and you will see what I am capable of.”

He let go of you and let you fall to the floor. You struggled to catch your breath and held onto your neck to ease the pain. Soldier Boy walked away, leaving you behind. Your firsts clenched and glared at his back. You would be stupid to try and attack him now. You will wait until the time is right.

You followed and kept your distance. Soldier Boy stopped at the sight of the house.

“Wherever I go, you follow and you will listen to me. Got it?” he asked. You refused to answer. All you did was take a step forward and he grabbed your arm again. Only this time he pulled you against his chest and his arm went around your waist. His hand reached towards your chin.

“I said, got it?” he asked again. You scoffed, but nodded just so he can let go of you. You pulled out your gun and did as he told. Slowly, but surely you entered the house. Just when he was in both of your sights you heard a snapping sound and from the reflection you realized Hughie got out Mindstorm.

“Hughie!” you yelled, even you were angry. Soldier Boy was in a worse mood. Without a second to waste he ran out to go back where he left Hughie. It was impossible to keep up with him but he remained in your sight of vision so you would not get lost. Just when you caught up you cached sight of Soldier Boy aiming for Mindstorm’s neck.

You gasped and covered your mouth with your hand at the gruesome. Butcher called out to you. It was best if the three of you stayed close together. You’ve seen a lot of things, but something so cruel as the way Soldier Boy killed Mindstorm is almost inhumane. You expected Soldier Boy to show some satisfaction in killing the second to last member of Payback, but he was more quiet than ever before. He walked past the three of you without a second thought.

The ride back to Legend’s was silence. Whatever it is Mindstorm said got under Soldier Boy’s skin. Even when they arrived at the apartment he stayed silent. Soldier Boy went straight into his room for the rest of the night. Butcher did not want to talk about what he saw, neither you or Hughie pushed him on it. Legend had dinner bought and the three of you sat.

You were so deep in thought trying to think of what happened back there with Soldier Boy you had not heard Hughie call your name the first time. The second time he did, you did hear. “What is that on your neck?” He pointed and you knew exactly what it was.

You sighed and explained. “You need to be careful with him. You could have gotten yourself killed.” Hughie meant no harm, and you knew that but sometimes he stated the obvious a little too many times.

“Come on, now. We know Soldier Boy wouldn’t do something to actually kill you,” Butcher finally spoke up. He was still out of it, and maybe that’s why the comment slipped. Hughie froze and knew exactly what he meant. You were confused and made it known.

“The hell does that mean?” you questioned. Butcher said nothing else. With his current state of mind he might let something slip and now was not the time. Hughie made up some shit excuse that Butcher is still confusing reality with the dream.

This time, you did not believe them.

All three of you were left guessing what was happening with Soldier Boy. There was a lot of guessing, but nothing logical enough. All of you gave up and retreated to your respected rooms. Except you, of course.

As much as the man angered and frightened you all at once. You were concerned that he has not come out.

“I’m going to regret this,” you mumbled. From the leftover food that was meant for Soldier Boy you prepared a plate. Would it be a bad idea to knock or would it be better if you left the food on the floor? You chose to knock and waited. When there was no response you called out your name and let him know his plate will be on the floor.

This was not like him, so the fact he never came out or even said something scared the shit out of you.

You walked down the hall to your room, and before entering you watched from a distance in hopes he will open the door. Though he never did.

It was middle of the night when you got thirsty. Knowing you, ignoring the need for water wasn’t going to let you sleep. You walked out of the room in just your shirt. It was long enough to keep it modest. If you knew who was wide awake you would have gotten dressed properly.

“Holy shit!” you snapped and placed your hand on your chest. It was dark as hell and turning on the kitchen lights to see Soldier Boy sitting there with a bottle of whiskey and an empty plate surprised you. You noticed the empty plate and was relieved he ate. Honestly, you were happy he was alive after all.

“Will you keep it down enough? I don’t need anyone else to know I’m fucking here.”

He sounded irritated. You mumbled a sorry and went on to get water, and go back to your room. Whatever it is he is going through is not your concern. Soldier Boy does not care about others, so why should you show some compassion towards him? Preparing his plate was just out of courtesy, but there was nothing more to that.

You told yourself that as soon as you drank water you’ll go back to your room.

“Are you okay?” you asked. Damn you, and your concern for others. Soldier Boy said nothing. You rolled your eyes at his silence. If he wants to sit in the dark without saying a word then he can do it on his own. When you finished drinking your water you put it back in place. Since he had not said anything you were going back to your room.

“He’s my son.”

You stopped walking and let his words replay over in your mind. There is no fucking way he is his son.

“What?” you asked, turning around and got closer. Soldier Boy nodded, he can see you were shocked and in disbelief.

“Homelander is my son.”

Now you understood why he needed a moment to himself and drink away. You sat next to him and waited for him to talk. He explained how it happened in 1980 and in 1981 a child was born. Everything he said made sense.

Soldier Boy drank from the bottle and when he put it down you grabbed it. You chugged some down. This was definitely the right moment to drink. Everything that has led to this moment might as well vanish. Soldier Boy isn’t going to want to kill his son. Homelander is the only living family Soldier Boy has left. Though if he does not go through with the plan hell will be risen.

“What am I supposed to do?” he asked. You weren’t sure why he was asking you and to be quite frank, you did not have the answer he was seeking.

“He may be blood, but that doesn’t make him family. Nowadays, family is the people you surround yourself with. The ones that are willing to fight for you, do anything and everything to ensure you are safe, and go as far as even die for the other. Homelander is not family. As far as I can tell he only lives for himself and uses people to his convenience. Don’t let that persuade you.”

Soldier Boy let out a small smile. A family. Even he does not have what you just explained. The only person who would have been family is Mimicry. She did not think twice to take any and all necessary blows for him. She gave him unconditional loyalty, and he fucked it up. With you, he doesn’t even have that. He doesn’t have it with Butcher nor Hughie.

“I wish I can relate, but I only look out for myself. A deal is a deal with Butcher, but after that I am on my way. I’m better off like that,” he explained.

You wanted to tell him it isn’t because he is better off like that. It’s just that he hasn’t found the right people. There will always be someone for the other.

“What your team did was unforgivable, but not everyone is like that.”

“I’m not going to take my chances with another team. Especially with your circus show. Fuck no. I’m ready to kill the Brit and the balls gobbler. Once all of this is over I just want to rest. I would have served my purpose and the farthest I get away from Vought and everyone, the better. Shit, I might even start my own drug ring. Do you know how great it would be to get unlimited supply of weed?”

You wanted to believe he was joking, but as far as you can tell, Soldier Boy does not joke around.

“Wouldn’t it get lonely, though? And I don’t mean just any company. I’m talking about someone special in your life?”

Soldier Boy went into complete silence. Fuck, it was like you can read through him.

Like she did.

You can tell he was hesitant to speak, but he still did nonetheless.

“There was someone,” he admitted. You stayed quiet to avoid ruining the moment. “Actually, you remind me a lot about her. Though you are too damn noble, stubborn, and reckless. She was almost the opposite. She had her moments of stubbornness and recklessness, but she was more calculative, smart, and wouldn’t hesitate to throw herself at anything if it meant protecting me.”

Truth be told, you did not expect Soldier Boy to actually have a heart. Though seeing the way he is talking about this woman showed he cared for her.

“What happened?”

Once again silence filled the room. At this point the bottle was more than halfway gone.

“She left Payback, and the moment she learned what happened to me she tried saving me. She died trying to do so.”

Soldier Boy did not want to go more into details of what occurred. He did not want to explain how he failed Mimicry and couldn’t give her what she wanted. Finally, he looked at you and there’s a look he had never seen before. Not even with Mimicry.

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. Up to this day no one ever apologized for what happened to her. Vought didn’t, no one from Payback, and not even Legend himself. So for a stranger to be apologizing made him feel something. He was sitting close to you again, and found himself looking down at your lips again.

His eyes moved down to your neck, and he noticed the marks forming from earlier’s incident. He reached out to trail the bruises on your neck with his finger. You did not even flinch when he touched you, but you did stare at his face to try and see what he was thinking about.

“I’m sorry for what happened back there,” he admitted. Maybe it was the liquor, or the way he was so close to you but all you were able to do was nod your head.

“It’s okay. Nothing that won’t heal,” you whispered back. The kitchen lights turned off automatically. You did not bother thinking about it since they were probably on a timer or some shit.

Your foreheads connected and instead of pulling away from him your breath hitched. His fingers moved away from your neck and now it was caressing your cheek.

Soldier Boy let out a groan and pulled away. “We need sleep,” and with that he retreated. He did not even bother to say goodnight.

Whatever the fuck that was you were just going to blame the alcohol.

Next Chapter: Chapter Five

Author's Note: I am super happy to see everyone excited and emotional! There is still a lot to unpack. I am updating a lot faster than what I have anticipated. I have all of you to thank you for that <3

I am tagging everyone, but I am not sure if all of you are getting notified! Please let me know if you are not. I am more than happy to send each and every one of you a personal message when I update! :)

Tagged List: @seven709 @sadpods @mayafatimakhan @justiceforquentin @ultracarpediemfan @bitchykittenconnoisseur @spacecowgirl126 @ultraviolencexs @deans-spinster-witch @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @manicjk @demodemo909 @robertthehoover @riah1606 @onlyangel-444 @cunningboyouare @posiemax @anna6307 @jarofer

[suzukiblu]

WIP guessing game: help

"I know about Billy, Marvel," Batman says, and Billy . . . blinks.

"You know?!" he sputters. Okay, so apparently his secret identity was just . . . literally never a secret at all, then. Which, well–Batman, so that just figures, really. So actually this is kind of a relief and might even mean that he's fine with–

"Yes," Batman confirms with a nod. "So I understand your current reservations about parenthood."

. . . wait what.

"Huh?" Billy says, blinking stupidly at him.

"I don't know how much of you is still C.C. Batson or what you do or don't remember about being him," Batman says. "But the resemblance is undeniable, if nothing else. Certainly your and your wife's deaths were . . . well, suspicious. And you're hardly the first archeologists to dig up a god or six."

Oh, okay. Well.

This is apparently what Billy gets for his personal mental image of a "hero" being his dad, then, isn't it.

Crap.

"To be honest I've been looking for Billy for a while now, I just didn't want to bring it up before I found him," Batman admits, looking dissatisfied with himself. "My most recent reliable intel puts him in Fawcett City, but I assume you're aware of that, given your evident attachment to the place."

"You're looking for Billy?" Billy asks incredulously. "Why?"

"Because he's your son," Batman says. "And because he's a homeless child who's been abused and neglected and needs help. I honestly don't know where you go when you're not being Captain Marvel–frankly I'm not sure if you even exist when you're not being Captain Marvel, given what little I actually know about your powers and your death and your role as the Champion of Magic and just how damn impossible you are to find when you're off-duty–but I'm assuming that wherever it happens to be is not necessarily conducive to providing a stable home environment and being legally dead certainly can't be helping with that, so my original intention was to find the boy and help you arrange some manner of care for and visitation with him. And given the revelation of your relation to Robin, well . . . I'd like to take Billy in myself, if you'd both be comfortable with that. It seems . . . appropriate, under the circumstances."

"You want to foster Billy because I'm Robin's soulmate?" Billy says, absolutely positive that he's misunderstood literally every single word that just came out of Batman's mouth. There is no possible way that he did not.

"It's not exactly out of my wheelhouse," Batman replies wryly. "Although I'll be keeping this one out of the tights, ideally. Though I make no long-term promises about that because quite frankly at this point I'm spoiled for soulmates who insist on wearing capes and I wouldn't really be surprised to turn up another one, especially given that Robin is yours and your own involvement in the superhero community."

Billy stares at him.

"Wait, are all the Gotham vigilantes your soulkids?" he blurts unthinkingly.

"Not all," Batman says. "But, well . . . probably more of them than you'd expect."

"Oh my god," Billy says in disbelief. "And you're just telling me that?! You don't tell people things, you're Batman!"

"I haven't always been the father I should have been," Batman says, and then he pulls down his cowl. Billy chokes, and then chokes again because apparently Batman is Bruce freaking Wayne and his brain just . . . just needs a moment to process that fact, like there is literally any way whatsoever that he could ever actually process that fact. He would've been less surprised to see a Kardashian under that mask, he's pretty sure. At least they've got athletes in the family, technically! "So I'm not going to make things difficult for you with Robin. Clearly he needs more than I'm capable of providing, and I'm perfectly willing to be transparent and to co-parent with you as much as possible. I want Robin to be safe and content and grow up well, and frankly put, Batson, you've proven yourself to be a good man time and again and I trust you to do what's best by our son."

Okay, well, now Billy just feels like dirt.

"You do know what happened to Billy, don't you?" he asks just a little bit desperately, because there is literally no way that this conversation is a real and actual thing that's really and actually happening. "Like, just–everything that happened there? There's a reason he's not in school or the system or with a relative or anything like that."

"What happened to Billy wasn't your fault," Batman tells him, meeting his eyes all quiet and intent and sincere. "And I will do everything in my power to help you make it right."

"Oh no, you're actually like . . . just genuinely a really good person, aren't you," Billy says despairingly, staring at him all over again and really, really wishing he could swear right now.

Maybe he'll just go throw himself into the sun. Maybe that's what he'll just go and do.

The corner of Batman's mouth quirks up wryly. His eyes even crinkle a little, which Billy can see on account of his total lack of cowl right now, oh god.

Billy despairs.

"I mean it," Batman says gently. "It wasn't your fault, and it doesn't mean you can't be a good father now."

"I need to talk to Robin," Billy says, because he definitely, definitely needs to talk to Robin. Batman inclines his head in an accepting nod, because Batman is probably under the impression that Billy wants to go give Robin a good ol' traditional "I know I'm not your biodad but I'm here for you, champ!" kind of speech, and Billy just . . . really cannot explain the real situation to him right now. Or ever.

Can he just lie to Batman for the rest of their lives, maybe? He can just pretend to be his own dad for the Justice League and keep dodging whatever Bat-surveillance happens to be in Fawcett and parent his older-than-he-is soulmate, right? That's a thing that he can do?

That's probably not a thing that he can do.

Although he might be willing to try, at this point.

[taintandviolent]

The Dork Theory ; Max Cooperman x reader

summary: Against better judgement, you decide to go to a college party. You run into a familiar face there, and you decide to test a long running theory to do with dorks and big 🍆 . Shameless smut ensues.

warnings: smut without plot, pnv, car sex, unprotected sex, handjobs, oral sex, degradation/shaming, recording.

a/n: max deserves it. he really does. not beta-read. this was just a whim kinda fic, so I hope it's not total garbage. enjoy! thanks for reading if you did.

full fic & taglist under cut! ↓ / ao3 link here! / ♪ recommended playlist here! ♪

It was a party, so you were forcing yourself to do party things. Or so you kept telling yourself. Really, it was a live streaming event for some stupid college fight, which was an event that you wouldn’t be caught dead at – under any circumstances. It wasn’t your scene, you couldn’t care less about fighting – outside of the carnal, hormonal fact that you got to see rippling muscles and displays of strength. At times, even you were simple. Whatever fight had already happened and judging by the sudden uptick in shouts and cheers, you assumed the preferred candidate won. The party was now in full swing with people mingling and drinking excessively. Ah, college. 

Admittedly, you weren’t one for college parties either. It was a place to drink, screw, and in most cases, as a byproduct of the previous two mixing, fight. Of those three things, you only really enjoyed one of them and hadn’t done it in a while – long enough for you to crave it. Maybe that’s why you came to the party to begin with; to get some tail. Albeit hypocritically, you were also drinking. You weren’t drunk, but definitely heading there; your head felt fuzzy as you stared into your half-empty red Solo cup. Whoever had mixed the drinks had erred on the side of too strong.

“Well… hey there.”

You looked up from said cup, one brow quirked. In front of you, stood a guy who looked oddly familiar, but you couldn’t place him. Eyes narrowed, you scanned him from his shoes to his lush, curly brown locks. He wore jeans and a Something Corporate t-shirt. Really? You realized you’d seen him earlier, schmoozing with girls, explaining something very passionately. They hung on his arms, but seemed distant – but no, that still wasn’t where you recognized him from. 

He was scanning you up and down, lingering on all the right parts of your body; your hips, your breasts, your face. Finally, he spoke. "My name's Max, what's yer--"

"Wait, hold on." You pressed a single finger against his lips, which pressed back into your finger, almost like he was kissing it. 

"Max?" 

He nodded, still compressed against your fingertip. He didn't need to confirm it, really, because just like that, it all came rushing back; it had been years but you knew exactly who he was and you were about to make sure he remembered, too. You withdrew your hand with a breathy chuckle. 

"Like... Max.... Cooperman? The chubby kid who was always recording fights in the schoolyard?"

Ouch. Max cringed, knotting his mouth up to one side. Starting off strong with this one. “Yep, that – was me. And for the record, I was a part of those fights from time to time. And I trained -”  

"Ohhhh my god," you breathed, cutting him off as you covered your mouth with your hand. "You were such a dork, you know that, don't you? Like, such a dork.” 

“Okay, alright.” he said, looking behind him for a brief moment. “I came over ‘cause I have a policy that no cute girls are allowed to stand alone, especially at one of my parties. Are you just gonna’ stand here and bust my balls all night?” 

So he thought you were cute. Your cunt clenched — you’d take that thought to the bank. You grinned inwardly, rocking back and forth on your heels. “I can, if you want me to.” 

He cocked his head like a dog, unsure how to take that. “What, are we gonna’ play fight?” 

“Something like that.” 

You reached forward, teasingly slapping his cheek. With an intrigued expression, Max caught your hand and yanked you towards him, looking at your lips. You mirrored his gaze, wondering what they tasted like, and if they were as soft as they looked.

You couldn’t deny the facts; he wasn’t the dorky kid that you passively paid attention to. He stood taller and had trimmed down, a result of likely more physical activity and maybe better eating habits. The attraction that bubbled up in your core wasn’t new, it had just been dormant for many years. You ran your tongue along your bottom lip, wetting it and Max’s dark brown eyes followed your tongue as it travelled, a smirk stretching across his lips. 

"You still have that Mustang?" 

"Pffft, of course I do." 

“You wanna’ um…” 

Wide-eyed and eager, Max nodded. “Uh, YEAH?” 

The two of you made your way outside, with Max quickly navigating you to where his car was parked. The cool night air bit at your skin, goose flesh erupting over anything that was exposed – mostly your legs. Now in front of the car, your eyes swept over the Mustang, admiring it. You weren’t a car girl, by any means, but you knew when to appreciate them. This was decidedly one of those times. He took care of his car, that much was apparent. 

With a deep breath, you turned back to Max, an expectant smirk on your lips. “So, is this the part where you tell me you’ve had a crush on me since high school?” 

Max laughed as he leaned against the door of the car, shaking his head. You were cute, but this wasn’t a teenage romcom. “Actually, no, I don’t know you. I mean… I wanna’ know you.” 

He reached for you, snaking his hands around your hips to pull you closer. 

“Ohhoh shit, someone gained some confidence when they lost that baby fat, huh?” 

“Damn, okay.” He looked away, almost annoyed, but the lust that was now coursing through his system trumped any fleeting anger. “You seem to know a lot about me.” 

You paused, taken aback as you stared at him. You did. Because while he didn’t remember you, you remembered him. You’d always had an affinity for dorks and paid attention to them, despite cringing at their cornball behaviour – because if you knew one thing, it was that the weird, shy guys were always hung – and there was one particular day where you’d made your opinions about Max Cooperman. 

It was May, somewhere in the middle of the month. You were in a hurry to get to 4th period when you heard a bunch of guys shouting and jeering at each other. The natural instinct to watch a fight took over and you slowed your steps. 

You’d only paused for a second, not wanting to be late to class. He was fighting behind the bleachers, bright, red blood running down his top lip, fists up in front of his face, shouting at some guy: “I got this, bro! I got this!” 

You blinked. Back to reality. 

“Maybe I knew you. Maybe I thought you were cute,” you confessed, letting the alcohol take over your nerves. “Maybe I have a theory that dorky dudes have big cocks.” 

“Butterball Cooperman? Cute? What am I now then, huh?” 

You chewed your lip, not saying anything. Max caught your glance, looking at you with a hunger in his eyes that promised it would lead somewhere — it was the kind of look that said, Hey. My dick just woke up and it’s because of you. You crushed your lips against his, tangling both of your hands in his warm curls. A whisper of fucking hot echoed in your mind. Max didn’t need to hear it, he felt the heat coming off your body, rolling towards him in waves. With his groin throbbing, he connected your bodies again, pulling you tight at the waist. His free hand stretched behind him, fumbling for the door handle. 

“Wanna’ find out?” He asked, breaking the kiss. 

You nodded. 

Max threw the door open, and pulled the driver’s seat up, allowing you some space to crawl in first. You leaned in — making sure your ass was on full display in the short, denim skirt you’d chosen earlier that night — and moved  quickly to the passenger side. With your knees pressing into the black, leather interior of his backseat, you sat upright, making room for him as he joined you. 

He faced you, leaning his back against the window and angled his hips towards you, knees to his chest. You stretched forward, tapped one side of his closed knees. “Lemme in, Cooperman.” 

Immediately, they fell open, exposing the bulge in his jeans. There was a dirty, devilish little smirk on his face; he knew you were looking, sizing him up. Not such a dork now, huh?

“Theory proven?” 

“Maybe. I’ve gotta’ see.” 

You palmed his half-hard cock outside of his jeans, the tips of your fingers tracing the faint outline, until they came to the tip. Applying pressure, the pad of your pointer finger swept back and forth into the squishy flesh until your finger was met with a wet spot. You’d given a fair number of handjobs in your life, enough to be confident in your skills. 

“Shit,” Max hissed above you. “Shit.” 

Underneath the fabric, you felt his dick shift in his jeans. With a pleased smirk, giving him what he so clearly wanted, you unbuttoned and unzipped, allowing his hard-on some room to breathe. The bulge pitched forward slightly as you reached for the ruched edge of his boxers, and pulled them down over his balls. His cock now free, it flopped heavily against his stomach, searing hot on his abdomen. It was about as long as you’d expected, but much thicker. With a wanton gaze, you took hold of the shaft and began stroking, feeling the veins swell with each pass. Every so often, you paid special attention to the underside, gliding your fingers over the thickest veins. Eventually, his cock stood at attention, the tip reddened and leaking profusely. You bit your lip. 

“Ooooooh, Max Cooperman has a big thick cock.” You tittered in a teasing lilt, still fondling it. He whimpered loud, a high pitched desperate sound that filled the car. You hadn’t expected him to be so whiny, but somehow you weren’t surprised — it seemed appropriate for that nerd in the schoolyard. Whiny then, whiny now. Every obscene word was punctuated with a whine, like a teenager getting his first handjob. He rutted his hips helplessly against your fingers, grinding his stiffness into your grip. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, just like that - fuck.” 

Almost to shut him up, you craned forward to kiss him again, your mouths crushing together in violent desperation. After a few seconds, Max sloppily broke the kiss to look down at your hand, saliva stringing from his bottom lip to yours.

“Oh my fuckin’ god,” he breathed, watching your fingers as they stroked his swollen cock, paying special attention to the scarlet, almost purple head. His cock twitched again in your grip, expelling more precum. “Oh my fuckin’ god, holy shit, holy shit…” 

You were delighted by the position of power you were in, and even more than that, delighted by the way that Max was literally coming undone in front of you. All his acquired cockiness had melted away, replaced by the desperate dork you remembered. 

“I knew he was in there,” you whispered under your breath before giving his cock a firm grip, milking another whine from his lips. Max was too far gone to even respond logically to anything, you weren’t sure he’d even heard you over his ragged, uneven pants.  

Feeling adventurous (and perhaps cruel), you extended your tongue, flattening it against the underside of his cock. The salty pre-cum oozed onto it. Max gasped, lifting his hips upright, which forced his dick further into your mouth. You pulled back, shaking your head softly. For a moment, he did nothing but stare at his own cock, watching it as your hand drug up and down over it, working it inches from your lips. You thought he was going to lose it, but with a heavy breath, he lowered his hips again and went back to breathing unevenly.

“Please,” he begged incessantly, his voice a few octaves higher than usual. “Please lemme’ fuck you…”

“Uh-uh.” 

Max whimpered again, bumping his head against the window repeatedly like a kid throwing a tantrum.

“You can’t, Max. There isn’t enough room here.” 

“Yeaaah, baby, yeah there is. We’ll make it work.” 

You paused for a moment, surveying your surroundings. Even with the seats pushed forward, the backseat left little room for moving around, and the oddly placed hump in the center was undeniably impeding any laying down. Max’s hips were already jutted up oddly, you couldn’t picture laying down atop of it… unless….

“You wanna’ fuck me, Max? How bad you wanna’ fuck me?” You asked, already knowing the answer. 

Slack-jawed, he nodded, his curls bouncing. The collar of his shirt was a shade darker with sweat. “So bad. So fuckin’ bad, you have no idea. You can’t even fathom.” 

You thought about it. And thought about it some more, until finally, you said: “Move over.”

Obediently, Max scooted his hips up, his dick bobbing before he shifted himself onto the floor, allowing you to crawl forward, using the curve of the backseat like a sex pillow, your ass tilted up towards the now very fogged up back window. Your cunt was already warm and aching from giving him head, and with a deep breath, you imagined the wet slit that would greet him as soon as he got up behind you. 

Curious, you reached up between your legs, pressing them into the satin fabric – just as you thought. Soaked. Finding the hem of your underwear, you yanked them to the side, exposing her. Your middle finger then slipped inside, dragging some of the slick down to your clit, which you tapped, bringing the sensitivity higher. 

“Oh shit,” he gasped, seeing this erotic display that sent spikes of arousal straight to his already engorged and aching cock. Still on the floor, but now behind the passenger’s seat, Max leaned forward. Still awkwardly positioned – you silently applauded the desperation in which he did it – Max went for your cunt, bending his head at angle so that his tongue could flick out against your wet folds, getting a taste of your sweet, leaking juices. You couldn’t help but moan into the leather, clenching and shaking as he lingered there for a moment, just lapping at it, swallowing and mouth breathing heavily onto her. 

“Fuck–” He straightened up, and used the back of his hand to wipe off his chin. “You taste so good, baby.” 

You wiggled your ass in response, smiling against the seat. After a little bit of strained and clumsy maneuvering, Max was finally behind you, dick in hand. He shuffled closer, his jean-clad thighs pressing into the backs of your bare ones. Using his free hand, he glided over the curve of your ass and down your spine, as far as the jean skirt would let him. You felt the warm head bumping into her over and over again with a haphazard rhythm, strings of precum dripping down onto the seat below you  – he was jerking off into your cunt. 

“I thought you were going to fuck me.” 

“I am,” he panted. “I am… this is just too good. Fuck! I wish I had my camera.” 

After using the tip to play with your wetness for a bit longer, Max finally lined up and sunk his cock inside of you, using your hips to pull himself deeper. He bottomed out – the stretching heat burned, filling you from wall to wall as his hips began bucking instinctively, finding a carnal rhythm – you let out a low moan. You begged, wanting him to press himself as deep into you as he could.  

“Record it,” you suddenly ordered. 

“Wha-?” he choked, out of breath and still pumping himself into you. 

“Record it. You have your phone, don’t you?” You arched your back, pushing up into him. 

“You serious?” 

“Yeah, I’m serious. It’d be hot.” 

Still in awe of your lustful demand, Max reached in his back pocket and pulled his phone out. He quickly navigated to the camera app, tapped the red button, and held the phone above you, getting a wider angle. The flash was on; he pulled his thick, glistening cock out of you slowly, while his dark eyes darted back and forth between watching you and watching it on the screen. Knowing he was going to have this to later jerk it to… shit – his breath hitched in his throat. He bumped his hips into you a few times, popping the head into your cunt.

“Yeah, you like that?” 

At first, Max breathily answered, but remembering he was recording, cleared his throat and answered in a lower tone. “Fuck yeah.” 

“Oh stop,” you laughed, wiggling your hips on his cock. “Afraid to let your dorky voice out again?” 

“Shut up, I’m not a dork.” 

“Yeaaaah, yeah you are. A big dork with a big cock.” 

Much to his own dismay, Max whined, picking up speed as he hammered into you, his little desperate bunny humps rutting against your pussy, sending shockwaves through your core.  The sounds of skin slapping against skin, paired with your broken moans and Max’s pathetic, horny whines filled the car. He’d never really been one for degradation, but the way you teased him, throwing your verbal right hooks every chance you got, had him in pieces. Every time you did it, his dick twinged painfully, stiffening past the point of comfort. He took hold of it, jerking it a few times into your pussy. Making sure the camera was capturing it, Max went back to thrusting, sinking his aching cock halfway in before bottoming out again. The video would never see the light of day, you knew it. He’d have to mute it to save his ego, and what was the point of muting porn? Max was way too whiny to show his macho friends, every other thrust was accompanied by a desperate little whimper. 

“Shit, I’m gonna’ - I’m gonna’ baby, oh my god, I’m sorry I’m gonna’ – auuggh!”

With a final whimper, Max yanked his cock from your pussy, allowing his orgasm to burst out over your exposed cunt; hot, milky strings decorating your folds and ass cheeks.

Immediately after pumping the rest of his cum onto your ass, like a gentleman, Max sunk two fingers in your pussy, curling them up to masterfully find the sensitive, spongy flesh inside. So, he’d had practice, too. You took fistfuls of the seat, digging your nails into the soft, polished leather. Thankfully for him, you were close, so the way he pumped his fingers in and out of you brought you over the edge within a matter of seconds. 

With a final: “Ffffuck!!”, you clenched around his fingers, pleasure rupturing your entire core. You squeezed your eyes shut, riding out the orgasm and backing up into his fingers to increase the pressure. You heard Max hiss in a breath through his teeth as he watched you, enjoyed you, and recorded you in your most intimate moments. The thought drove your orgasm forward even further. 

As the pulses subsided, you flopped down heavily, out of breath and drenched in sweat. You pivoted your body, rolling back over onto your back. Max was still recording, absentmindedly playing with your still weeping cunt. You watched him with a smile, entertained and enamoured that he was so invested with you. With a little dinging sound, the recording finally ended, and he tucked the phone back into his pocket. 

You two sat in silence, breathing heavily until, in a moment of post-nut clarity, Max said: “Shit, I was supposed to spar with Matt.” 

“Who?” You couldn’t care less. 

“Uh, my friend.”

“Mm, well… Matt is just gonna’ have to take a rain check. That’s too bad.” 

He laughed, leaning his head against the window again. After a few moments, he spoke again, his voice soft and low.  

“So, your theory is true, huh?” 

“Oh, yeah. It’s true. Took me years to prove it, but… it’s definitely true.” You leaned up and ran your pointer finger along the inseam of his jeans, smirking to yourself. “Definitely true.”

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[lionheartedmusings]

i've seen a lot of people talk about pomme being mischaracterised by the fandom, especially when it comes to her design (this one particularly was on the subreddit) and how she's usually depicted as this sweet little girl, which doesn't match up with her warrior side.

i actually… hate this take? now, i totally get that pomme does get mischaracterised by people who aren't usually privy to her for long periods of time, but why is her femininity out of character? how is portraying her as girly and sweet and kind somehow in detriment of her personality in any way?

pomme is kind. she's kind to an extreme, she's communicative and loving, and deeply emotionally intelligent. she's by far one of the genuinely kindest eggs, and deeply understanding of other people and their actions. she's sweet, and caring, and careful of the people around her — she feels horrible about killing foolish, and dislikes being teased about it because it was an accident and she didn't mean it. she'll take other people into account every time, and try her best to have healthy communication at every turn (i.e. her letter to tallulah yesterday).

she's also a warrior, one with the best pvp and pve skills of the eggs, well trained and deadly if need be. i don't think i've ever seen her be downed under any circumstance other than the code, and let me tell you girlie's been in some tough positions where being downed would've been normal. she's loving, but she's not an idiot and she's certainly going to kill instead of being killed.

she's also deeply wounded and paranoid, with her potions and quick switch armor, and reflexes that are frankly only rivalled by bad's. when richas went down, it took bad around 20 seconds to get to him (yes, felps was there but bad didn't know and better safe than sorry) but it wasn't bad who got him up — when pomme realised what was happening, she instantly went to his room. by the time bad arrived, richas was one second from being up. when she needs to tp the eggs, pomme is almost always faster than the parents, because she knows being fast is the difference between a scare and a dead sibling.

she wants elquackity dead. she named her scythe "revenge" because she wants him to pay for what he did to dapper. she's not scared of elquackity for herself, she's pissed the fuck off because no one touches her brother and lives. and this isn't bad's influence on her, mind you, this is pomme being pomme. the only thing that's more important than kindness and survivability is revenge when people harm those she loves — richas canonically had to hold her down in ninho the day dapper was kidnapped, because she wanted to go help the adults.

yes, pomme's the baby, but she's by far one of the most capable eggs in just about any regard. she's traumatised and wounded, but she knows when to put her own emotions aside and focus on the task at hand. she'll dig holes to whine about being called the french assassin, but she wants elquackity's head on a spike. she's gentle and caring and not afraid to talk about her emotions, but she's also cold as ice when need be.

my point being, pomme is a well developed character with a lot of nuance but that doesn't mean portraying her as a sweet little girl is wrong — that's still who she is. there's just layers to her, and i kind of feel iffy on the idea that portraying her in a very feminine way is somehow wrong or betraying who she is. she's the epitome of "don't mistake my kindness for weakness", all in a cute beret and pigtails.

[appleblueberry-pie]

More yandere 42 Miles Morales

I can see Miles having increased courage and confidence when he's with you. He'll say anything and everything that he thinks is important for you to hear, and he loves you too much to not tell you whatever is on his mind.

He wants to hold you so close to his side, feel your body heat radiate onto him. He wants to stare at you forever and wants you to stare at him too. He's dehydrated and you're his only drink of water, his salvation. He needs to have you, every part of you to himself and will remind you everyday.

You swear he's an insomniac with how often you catch him up at night when you guys text. But when he sleeps next to you, he's out and will stay out for a damn while. Hell, he'd wake up acting like he's in a fucking raisin bran commercial just cause you there.

Loves to whisper how he feels to you just to make you squirm. A romantic and flirt, only times ten because it's for you. Caresses your side, face, leg, head, whatever he can get his hands on. He loves you and will show you and tell you.

It definitely gets worse when you reciprocate it. He tell you a little flirt joke and you wholeheartedly/seriously respond back with confidence? He doubling down on you and won't stop cheesing. Don't run away, it's too late for that, he'll pull yo ass back and make you finish what you started.

If you text him, he'll text back in under a minute, no matter the circumstance. Nothing stops him from reaching out to you ever. If somehow you two end up arguing and god forbid you end on a bad note, he'll blow up your phone.

Another call starts up as soon as the last one ends if you don't answer. Sweet nothings of him begging you to answer the phone turn into threats to pick up(without him realizing it because he's too scared and angry to care about how it sounds) very quickly.

I'm laughing at you if you think turning your phone off and going to sleep will work. He will break into your house and wake you up.

"Fuck you turn your phone off for? Pensabas que esa mierda era graciosa? (You thought that shit was funny?) Huh? Don't ever fucking play with me like that." Doesn't care if everyone else is asleep. Just wants to get his message across to you.

That's probably the worst he'll get when he's "mad" at you(he will never truly get mad at you). Don't even ask about how he get when other niggas try to fuck around with you. oh my god. You tell him someone tried to touch you?

"Baby, look at me." Eyes stern, yet frantic. His shaky breathing is scaring you, but you can't let him see that. His hand grabs your chin, his hold making it hurt. "I need you to tell me that that's the only thing he did to you. Are you sure that's all he said? All he did?" He whispers it as if a hundred people surround you both wanting to listen in on what's being said. You nod and he shakes his head. "Cause I'm gonna kill that motherfucker. You hear me? Nobody fucking touches you."

He stares deep into your eyes, you can't tell if he's hyperventilating or not. All you want is for him to calm down, because seeing him like this is too much for you. You don't know if telling him was even worth it at this point.

"NOBODY!" He shouts it in your face and you violently flinch. He immediately consoles you and apologizes constantly. "Lo siento, lo siento, lo siento. Por favor, perdóname, cariño. Te quiero muchísimo. Solo quiero mantenerte a salvo.(I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. Please forgive me, darling. I love you so much. I just want to keep you safe.)" He whispers it in your ear and rocks you side to side. He can't stay still for the life of him. He sits you down on the bed and begins pacing.

Whispering to himself and clenching his hands. He then sits down next to you and holds your hands tightly. "I'll be back in at most 2 hours. I'll do whatever you what when you come back. But you gotta eat and catch up on your rest, okay, mi amor? I love you. And I care for you. And I want you to know that whatever happens out there?.....it ain't ever gon' break what we got. Alright?"

He slams his lips onto yours, kissing you passionately in a way he's never done before. A mix of emotions fill you and you can't find the words to make him stay. To make him stop. When he separates the kiss, he rests his sweaty forehead on yours. "I fucking love you." He whispers before leaving.

He would never ever isolate you or lock you up. He heavily prefers seeing you as the best YOU that you can be. He is obsessed with your personality, talents, hobbies, desires, speech, the way you walk, scent, everything. Taking that away from you is like murdering you. He can't live with himself if he did that to you.

Your family loves him, so it'd be hard to escape the relationship when they love him almost as much as they love you. He could give less of a fuck about your friends. You don't need them like you two need each other.

Try to mention anything bad he's done "for you" in the past? Will "assure" you to not worry about it and will justify his actions. "Don't worry about that nigga anymore, mami. I dealt with it. Y'all gon be cool now, okay? So don't worry your pretty self about it anymore and lets get you home. You look tired."

He LOOOOOVES when you coddle him or take care of him. His dream is to lay in your comfortable bed together while you hum him a song and you rub his back while his head lays on your comfortable chest. Every advantage is in his hands when he's sick because he has you to take care of him. He just becomes more delusional when he's sick, basically. Getting fed, maybe praised, cooed at, extra attention and care. Please. He leans into your warm hands like a touch-starved puppy.

Hates it so much when you lead him on strongly but then just shut it down entirely. Flirting with him, pulling him in by his jacket, constantly glancing down at his lips while giggling at his stupid fucking jokes. Then you just turn your head and walk off??? Man, fuck you. Follows you around whining constantly.

Eats absolutely anything you make. I canon he has a humungous appetite. Know how to make gumbo? Half of it's gone in 30 minutes. You'll have to feed him 4 servings every time you cook. That nigga eats everything. "Baby, this good as hell." Yeah, I bet! Knocks out when he's done. Good luck waking him up.

Anyways, he can get really bad at times. But most of the time, he's everything you could ever ask for.

[korpuskat]

Spectrum

[Ao3 Mirror] Pairing: Ramattra/Reader Rating: Mature (sexual content referenced, but not explicit) WC: 2,918 Warnings: None Sequel to In A Different Light -----

The lackey behind the counter hardly looks up, barely says anything as they pass you the repair request forms. It's fine, you get it. Menial labor, repetitive office bullshit, dealing with the guys who walk their mechs into walls when training while trying to avoid the higher-ups gaze. Normal Talon stuff. This is perfectly true until he asks you what floor of the barracks you're on, what wing.

And suddenly the lady behind him perks up. She doesn't even try to hide how she looks you over, making some unspoken assessment, then grins and returns to her tablet.

The barely suppressed smile infects his voice with excitement. "Don't suppose you're in 1813, are you?"

Oh. Fuck. "Yeah, I am."

"Kinda wondering when you'd make it down here." He says, typing in your information. "If you would."

You shouldn't say anything. You really, really shouldn't.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Oh, you know." He grins at you, fucking winks like you're in on the joke. "There was a pool if you'd be here or the infirmary first."

The infirmary? Why would you- actually, he did break your bed and leave a hole in your wall and you have had this peculiar ache behind your belly button and you definitely have huge purple splotches over your hips where he'd grabbed you, so, okay, that's fair.

"I guess you won then." Is the light-lipped answer you come up with, unsure how to explain that you really don't want to be part of this conversation anymore. Please, just fix your bed and wall. Gossip when you're not around.

The guy opens his mouth- and you feel it before his expression changes. A cool wind brushes against the back of your neck, down your spine, over the backs of your arms. Sickly, somehow, like the air itself clings to you, crawls on you. Everyone behind the counter looks away. His joy is gone, but the fear is carefully masked. "Reason for repairs?"

Behind you, boots stomp by. He doesn't leave, from the sound, from the way nobody exhales. You don't look, keep your eyes trained on the counter, on a little fleck where the linoleum is peeling away. He's somewhere in a corner, waiting for something. "Accident."

The lackey visibly cringes. Suddenly he, too, doesn't want to be in this conversation. "Gotta be more specific."

Fucker. Your voice is barely restrained as you bite out, "Sparring accident."

Behind you, the Reaper snorts.

When Ramattra returns to your base, perhaps only two weeks later, you really expect him to just proceed as business as usual. Like nothing had happened; he'd sated his curiosity, you're off his radar. Figuratively. You do not, under any circumstances, expect to be pulled off regular duties to be part of his temporary squadron.

It's a formality. He doesn't need one. He's here to inspect an airship, to discuss modifications to be made before it goes into mass production.

With an irritated sigh and wave of his hand, he summarily dismisses the entire squadron as soon as he sees them waiting in the hangar. The rest leave. You should join them. It's so... presumptuous, to think he thinks about you, that he even remembers you. He's leading a revolution for his people and you're a grunt he fucked once. But your boots may as well have been glued to the floor, no matter how much you want to scream at yourself to move, to turn away, you can't.

And his gaze settles on you.

And he nods towards the airship's ramp.

You follow behind him.

It's the first time you watch him leave. Every time before- three, now, not that you're counting- he's quietly departed your quarters. After making sure you're well cared for. That part had always confused you- left your chest aching in a way completely different than your hips.

But this time, you're not left alone in your mattress working up the courage to go file a repair request again. No, as part of his squadron you get to see him off this time. It's all a show, Ramattra had complained about it before- serves nothing but to boost their little human egos. He wasn't wrong, there's no need for you to be here. In fact, you really don't want to be here.

You've never seen Doomfist in person, but he personally escorts Ramattra to his shuttle. He speaks confidently, but quietly enough you can't make out what he's saying, even as he gestures broadly with his cybernetic arm. Even seeing him content makes your stomach flip uneasily, not wanting to be around if something does go wrong.

Ramattra... looks different. It's hard to believe how quickly you've become used to seeing him relaxed. Not just when he's moving in you- no, even when he sits with you, walks about the base, he never looks like this anymore. All seriousness and focused, the weight of the world back on his shoulders.

They speak a moment more, then Ramattra bows his head and turns towards his ship. He stops-

and across the launch bay, Ramattra's faceplate turns towards you. He pauses. Says nothing, hardly moves- but you know. He's looking directly at you. You stare back, unsure why you have his attention now- and ever so slightly his head dips. A tiny nod goodbye, just for you.

Your chest aches.

You smile slightly and nod back- and he's gone, entering his ship and flying away.

You don’t know who finally made the call to assign Ramattra temporary quarters at your base, but you would love to have seen that conversation. Because Ramattra’s voice is perfectly neutral as he comments that his quarters had not only a heavy duty, solid steel bed frame to support his weight- nevermind that he doesn’t sleep- but also reinforced walls.

They knew, of course. But the fact that someone high up enough knew to make the recommendation is what really gets you. Because nobody has said anything to you. Maybe they’re smart enough to- you doubt Ramattra would be particularly pleased with you being public knowledge.

And, well, not saying anything has ended up being your approach with Ramattra so far, too. Despite the frequency that he’d return to your doorway (and now you to his), or the repeated repair requests and occasional trips to medical and skeptical looks in return, you’d never explicitly asked what was going on. What exactly you were to him.

And normally that would be fine! Soldier’s bond or whatever, some bullshit to say “logistically and emotionally easiest lay.” It’s common enough. But you’ve never laid in a squadmate’s bed hours after, never dozed lightly in someone else’s blankets as they work at the desk a foot away- and never felt that perhaps that was still too far from you.

It’s the latter right now that sits heavy on your chest.

You shift beneath his sheets- a silky, deep purple that ripples with every moment. You watch, silent, as he turns some kind of device in his hands, taps it occasionally with an electric soldering iron. You sit up slowly, lean into his pillows. Even the pillowcases match. Probably actual silk knowing Talon’s propensity to keep their board members happy. Fuckers. He doesn’t even meditate on the bed.

“Ramattra,” The question bubbles out of you before you can stop it. “Can I… kiss you?”

He stills. But here, you must acknowledge how close you’ve gotten- because you can tell. Where someone else may feel that pang of fear, that his quiet is a wind-up to rage or impatience or condescension, no, you can read his shoulders perfectly. He’s genuinely contemplating the request.

He looks to you, and he doesn’t need a face for you to feel the incredulity in his voice. “You do understand I do not possess a mouth, correct?”

“I know.” You stand and sweep one thin blanket with you as you move to him. And here- he turns away from his project, sets his iron down, opens his arms for you. When you settle into his lap, he supports you- and when you reach for his face, his jaw, he lowers his head into your touch. You sweep a thumb across the lowest part of the white composite, feel the little crease between it and the purple of his jaw plate. “But I could still kiss you..”

His whole face rumbles into your palm as he hums, considering this. “Alright, though I do not understand what you would gain from this.”

And that is a lie, though you’re not sure who it’s for. It’s fine though, you don’t call him on it. Instead, you guide his head down as you stretch up- until your breath ghosts against him, leaving little puffs of foggy condensation. And you kiss him. Right across the seam between his plates, your lips squishing into the gap, flattening against his metal.

And it would be like kissing a training bot, all cold, motionless metal against your lips- and that must be what he expects you to feel, his disbelief you’d get anything from this. It would be, except for everything else about him. His hands come up to the curve of your spine, to the back of your head, cradling you so gently- and even with such a small display, his fans kick up, a quiet hum purring a hair louder from his chest. Without a mouth, he’s hardly unaffected- and against his faceplate you smile and pull away. His optics cannot, by design, be half-lidded and glazed, but you think they would be if they could.

“Did that… satisfy you?” He rumbles lowly.

“For now.” You grin and tuck yourself deeper into his lap. When he realizes you have no intention of returning to his bed, he makes a show of sighing and adjusting the stolen blanket so you’re well-wrapped and all the ends are tucked safely away before he returns to his work.

"Can I ask you a question?" You murmur, eyes still closed. He's foregone the blanket this time, holding you right up against his chest; you had curled up with him so quickly he hasn't even had time to put his paneling back on. The spars of his ribs are a little uncomfortable, but he's still so warm that you can't complain.

"Of course." His systems have already refreshed, perfectly capable of going on with his day. Unlike you, you're still wavering and floaty and in need of a shower. He's used to it. Being able to hold you afterwards is... enjoyable. He allows himself to trace shapes over your skin. He had noticed, once, how you smile softly when he does it.

"It's personal."

Ramattra's head shifts, looks down at you slightly. He's told you about himself. About the times before he was himself, about the Shambali, about the slave shops he's destroyed, about London. About Lanet. What could you possibly ask that you felt the need to warn him about first? "Go on."

"Who did you make your dick for?" Oh. He shifts awkwardly, ceases the motions of his hands. When he doesn't answer you continue, "You told me you didn't make it for humans, so, I dunno. Was just curious."

It takes several moments before he can manage to put together a stilted "Does it matter?"

You hum softly and lean back against him. "No." You swap the places of your hand with his, sweeping your thumb across the purple plating. You really didn't want to upset him- the likelihood his previous relationships have ended particularly badly is ridiculously high. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me about your exes. Like I said, just curious."

Ramattra has never quite understood the desire to grimace until now. It's not important, and yet... that annoying little whisper has returned to his circuits, prodding at his runtimes until he's forcing the words through his synth. "I don't... have any... 'exes'."

This makes the gears turn in your head. There's no way. "Like... you just didn't stay with any of them?" Even as hectic as his life has been, you cannot reconcile how tenderly he's holding you with him previously being a smash and dasher. It would make sense logistically- no danger of loss or being tied down and losing focus on his work, but… there’s just no way.

"No." He all but squirms. "I never used it before you."

"What?"

"I designed it for..." His voice cuts out as his vocoder fights him again. "...a particular omnic. To their model's... specifications. But I never used it."

You twist around in his arms, as much as he'd prefer you didn't. It's uncomfortable enough without having to see your face, without his still-not-put-away dick pressed between your bodies. "But... you told me you'd fucked before."

Around you, Ramattra bristles, his fans ramping up, his hands firming where they touch you. Too far, you did upset him. "Omnics do not need things as crude as genitals to be intimate."

The pieces come together. Not an ex, they'd been intimate, enough that he'd designed a dick just to hope, but never used it. He wanted more. You slide a hand around Ramattra's neck, over the dark plating his cowl usually hides. Normally, when you slide your fingers around the chunky cables of his mane, he'll purr or at least relax- no such luck. "Sorry," You murmur, and trace a finger along the long line of his jaw piece. "Thank you for telling me."

It takes a few moments, but eventually a soft stream of hot air slips from Ramattra's vents and he sighs. You take the cue and curl up close to him, wrapping your arms around him as best you can with his wide chest. When you think he's calmed enough, you do tack on one last comment. "I am glad you made it, though."

Thankfully, Ramattra laughs softly at that.

Ramattra holds white papers in his hand, carefully held between the rubber pads there, delicate as to not crease them before you can read them. His other hand twitches as his side, then balls into a fist. He does not meet your gaze when he enters his room. He stands there, just past the doorway, clenching and unclenching his fist, his fans slowly amping up.

"Rama?" You prompt him when he still doesn’t say anything, already scooting to the edge of his bed.

"I have to attend to the construction of a titan in person." It's flat, a statement, no particular inflection in his voice where you're clearly expecting something else. "I won't be able to return here for several weeks. At minimum."

Now it's you who looks away. It's a disappointment. You knew it was coming, three days together was already an incredible luxury. "Ah, I see." He's busy, you know this. Lots of hard work running an entire revolution almost by yourself. And you can't fault him for it- can't ask him to postpone. It's important work. "When will you have to leave?"

"Five hours. I'm also chartering transport of supplies. My omnium is short on copper wire, of all things." He says- and his focus shifts from the floor to the paper in his hands. He rubs it, watches as the paper flexes and bends, then returns to normal. You, too, observe his fidgeting and wait for the shoe to drop. You've always kind of waited for it.

"Are you- " He starts- and his synth immediately fizzles. The hand at his side tightens in frustration as he reboots it. "Are you pleased with... this?" The paper flops in his hand as he gestures vaguely between you.

This.

Never did have that conversation.

You bite your tongue, chance looking at him. None of the strain in his vocoder has made it to his faceplate, forever stuck in that passive, almost angry expression. "Yeah." If he wants to kick you out, that's fine, but you aren't going to lie about it. His visits to your base have easily become the best part of your job, the occasional message of where he is, of when he can make it back to you- it's completely different than anything you've had before. "Yeah, actually."

Ramattra's shoulders drop. "You are sure? Genuinely?"

You nod. And he holds out the paper. You don't even unfold it before he's explaining. "It's a reassignment order. Production of Null Troopers is increasing geometrically; ideally I would oversee all production lines directly from here on. It would be... advantageous to have someone else coordinate with Talon on my behalf while I am engaged with this.

"I will be very occupied. This is a critical period of staging. And I would be relying on you." Ramattra says, and there's a sternness laid over top. He wants it to sound like a job offer, to sound serious. It is, to some degree. But more than that-

"You..." The top of the paper is printed with Talon's logo, a big block of text follows, beneath is a signature line. Your eyes skim the page again- and read the most important line. Relocate to meet the needs of Null Sector. "You want me to come with you?"

A breath of silence takes the room, until he steps closer and takes one of your hands in his. So gently, he drags the rubber pad of his thumb over your knuckles. His faceplate focuses there, on the delicate bones of your hand, your wrist. "It would... please me greatly to keep you near."

The ache in your chest blooms out, spills over your cheeks.

[circeyoru]

Omg I've just caught up on the Colle tion of Overlords and I gotta say, it's fantastic!

I'm so sorry if you're getting overwhelmed with ideas/requests but the brainrot will not stop, so here goes-

Regarding the Collector's relationship with Lucifer, and how he's technically just a bit more powerful than them, I had the thought of what would happen if Charlie, being Lucifer and Lilith's daughter, had a huge outburst (maybe over Angel's contract or smth to do with Heaven? Idk) and, completely by accident, hurt the Collector

It wouldn't be because she's a lot more powerful or something, but mainly because the Collector wasn't paying attention/had been so caught up with other affairs that they hadn't noticed Charlie getting more powerful, if only slightly

The Collector wouldn't be hurt in any way, shape or form that would cause permanent damage, probably the equivalent to getting a slightly scraped knee to them, but everyone else is completely shocked and doesn't know how to react (with the exception of Charlie who is just immediately and profusely apologizing) cause they didn't know it was even possible for them to get hurt

With how you've portrayed them so far, I'm wondering how the Collector would react, maybe overplaying it and disappearing for a time (while being completely fine) so Charlie gets a bit more respect, or simply brushing it off and treating the Princess like a niece who just made a mistake and offering to help her train along with her dad (very jealous overlords incoming), or smth else entirely

Sorry for this being so long, I've only just discovered your work and have already fallen in love! Drink water, eat food, and take care of yourself first and foremost ❤️

This is for {Collection of Overlords} , check MASTERLIST for the work

Welcome to this series~! Thanks for staying and having an interest!! No worries~ Taking care of myself~~ (I've stopped request cause of an incident, but I'm getting to the ones from before. Most likely it'll be open in May)

Anyways~ Your ideas.

Charlie can't harm Reader/you in any way. She may be Lucifer's daughter, but (as of season 1) she doesn't have angelic powers. That is your one weakness and possible method of harm and death. Otherwise, you can't be harmed or killed under any other power or circumstance.

You'll understand when Part 7 comes out.

As for your relationship with Charlie. Yeah, you see her as a niece of sorts. You did consider being her mentor like you did with Lucifer, but you don't see her as mature enough or needing your guidance that strongly.

Remember in Rosie and Alastor's bit in "Ready for This"?

They're dancing along They're singing her song Surprised? Why, I knew she could do it all along She's bound to pass the test as princess of Hell Like her daddy, she is madly power-fell She's filled with potential that I could guide I concur! Stick with her, you'll be on the winning side

Now notice the part where Alastor and Rosie smile together. "Pass the test", what test? In the show, it could be dismissed, but in this series, no no, there's meaning. Rosie and Alastor, as well as other Overlords, will see a lot of challenges or tricky situations as tests set by you to prove worthiness and capability. Overlords are aware that you raised Lucifer to where he is now, so they step back when it comes to matters of the Morningstar family. Vox stating that he has to avoid Alastor making a deal with Charlie and Zestial asking why Alastor is with Charlie is a sign that they are being cautious so as not to interfer with any possible plans of yours.

No doubt, Charlie is powerful. But to you, she is nothing because she doesn't have angelic powers to counter you. Overlord acknowledges that Charlie is the next in line, but they observe to see if you'll be bring her to the throne or by her own powers. So far, it's all on her own without any interference or help from you. Alastor and Rosie sticking to Charlie to be on the winning side implies your favour and attention. If they were to support Charlie who is from royalty, you are bound to praise them. Part 4 proves it when Carmilla, Rosie, and Alastor were all rewarded, while the Vees that watched it all was punished, and Zestial and Zeezi the neutral parties were left untouched.

Say, Charlie or someone else did accidentially or purposely attacked you. It's like ants walking on your arm to you. You just brush it off.

"Oh, I felt an itch."

You'd be confused as to why Charlie is apologizing cause nothing harmed you, and your clothes were slowly reforming under Alastor's coat that he immediately dapped on your shoulders. Alastor explained and you laughed, patting Charlie's head, you'll tell her to train more and hope to give you a massage.

Ah, the bit about you disappearing. You have little to no public image or presence to the sinners in Hell. Only the Hellborns know of you and they keep themselves because of it. You don't appear much to your Overlords as well. So when you say 'disappear', you'd be implying that you are gone for like 15+ years to cause something to happen.

If that happens, Charlie isn't getting respect, she's getting a full-out war from all the Overlords and their army directed at her without mercy. The other Rings would have heard of it as well, and the Sins are aware of your affiliation with the Overlords, they were your personal army (in a way). So, to see them move against the heir to the throne like that and hear that Charlie's the reason for your disappearance? The Sins will join in on the fight. There'd be a rebellion on hand and the Morningstars will be dethroned to nothing.

After that, your presence will be announced to all of Hell, and you will be back on the throne. No one will take your place again. Before, the Sins agreed to let Lucifer rule because you told them you'd rule from the shadows like a mastermind. But the moment one of them (Lucifer, Lilith, or Charlie) bites the hand that fed them accidentally or on purpose, then no way will the Sins let this slide.

No matter how docile the Overlords and Sins are to the King, Queen, and Princess of Hell right now, their allegiance is to you, the true Ruler of Hell, first and foremost. Nothing changes that.

Wait till Part 7 comes out. You'll see what I mean when I say you're quite OP.

[blitzyn]

special attention pt. 3

dottore x m!reader

Request : HI- I noticed you have your requests open so I'm super excited! I love your writing sm. If possible, can I request like a continuation of your Dottore and fatui! Reader? Maybe one where the reader (sub & bottom) is assigned under another harbinger so all of his attention has been on this other harbinger instead of on Dottore (dom & top)? If not then that's okay! - Anonymous

Synopsis: Dottore has enough of his subpar Agents and decides to take you back.

part 1 | part 2

a/n -> i did it omg. super sorry ive been gone again! life was a bit busy but now that summer is coming up i might be able to write these a bit faster. im not super proud of this one since im kinda rusty rn but i hope this is at least decent! also, sorry for the sudden change in appearance!

wc -> 3.4k

cw -> anal fingering, anal sex, spit as lube, desk/office sex, choking, slight overstim, pretty vanilla overall ig, he's kinda possessive so there's that, not beta read

"Stupid, incompetent—" The Harbinger before the cowering Fatui subordinate cut himself off with an agitated sigh. It was quiet for a few moments, save for the agent's nervous breaths. Dottore wasn't one to get irritated very often, let alone angry. Perhaps the results produced by his previous agent skyrocketed his standards – or maybe this one was just dumber than an idiot.

"Please, help me comprehend how you lost not one," The Agent looked just about ready to sink into the floor. "not two, but six bases?"

The subordinate struggled to answer, mouth gaping open and closed as their hands shook in ill-concealed fear. Maybe in different circumstances, he would've given an amused quirk of his lips, though this was the last thing he needed right now. Instead, his lips curled into a scowl.

"W-We were... Overwhelmed..." they stammered pathetically.

"Clearly," Dottore said, impatiently tapping his finger on his knuckle. "I'm certain you're capable of speaking properly."

"We were ambushed by a horde of Mitachurls..." There was a beat of silence.

"And?"

They did not answer. "Don't tell me you lost all six because of mere Mitachurls."

Dottore's frown deepened. "That seems a bit coincidental, don't you think? If you're going to lie, do it well." He sighed. "Dismissed. I'll see to it you're placed back under basic training."

His voice held a monotonous tone to it that made the Agent fidget in place.

"It was a mistake—"

"Dismissed. I've already given you a chance to explain yourself. I have no need for your negligent incompetency."

He watched as the Agent hurried out of his office, and he had half the mind to yank them back inside when they slammed the door shut. He ground his teeth, irritated with the turn of events. He was going to need a new subordinate. Again.

He sighed. Not one of them managed to regain lost fortresses within a week, and he's been losing more than he thought possible. He, number 2 of the Harbingers, lost more than number 11. He was angry, above all else, but there was also the undeniable burn of humiliation at that fact.

It nearly surprised him how weak the soldiers sent to him were. Or perhaps they were always this way, and having you raised his expectations tenfold. He knew your strength and self-control were, by far, your best virtues, and it so happened to be what others were lacking. You were sent away to another Harbinger to keep the other Agents in check, and while he may have been the slightest bit proud to have managed to acquire an Agent that proved to be what everyone else needed, he was growing tired of having to wait for your return.

He shoved the articles that struck irritation through his chest into a drawer and stood from his chair. Quickly striding out of his office, he set out to search for you.

It didn't take him long to find you, though it was purely an accident. You were swiftly walking down the echoing hallways with a few papers and a relic that he didn't care to identify before he called your name.

"Agent [L.Name]," he spoke, his voice even.

"Yes, Lord Harbinger?" You paused in front of him after offering a slight bow. You fidgeted. "I apologize for the urgency, but Lady Arlecchino requests that I hurry with submitting my report."

"I am rescinding my permission to allow you to work under someone else." Even with your mask on, he was easily able to discern your surprise. The slight curl of your fingers was a dead giveaway, though, to any other person, it might've come off as idle shifting.

You were at a loss for what to do. You couldn't go against your current superior, but you also couldn't defy the words of one of the highest-ranking Harbingers that was still technically your boss.

"Lady Arlecchino said that I must hurry in delivering this item, and I'd rather not break her trust..." you trailed off as you observed him under your mask, something he was no doubt doing to you under his.

You nervously ground your teeth at the frown that crossed his face but remained steadfast with your words.

"Your loyalty is a virtue, but I'm afraid you've placed it upon the wrong person." He positioned his hands behind his back. "I will handle her when the time comes. Now, you respond to me."

"Yes, sir," you said after a moment. While you felt a tinge of relief at finally being able to work under him again, you felt a bit uncomfortable with leaving an assignment just as you were about to finish. But you knew you were going to have to set aside what you felt at the moment - you had a feeling something was off.

You thought about asking him what was wrong but decided against it with hopes that he'll bring it up himself. He wasn't the type to search for someone unless he needed them.

Your shoes tapped against the cold marble floors as you walked silently, following behind at a respectful distance. It didn't take long for you to reach his office, neither of you wasting time to get in.

"During your absence, many others have arrived to take your place. None of them have managed to produce quality or successful reports." He handed you a few papers for you to skim through. Without missing a beat, you did what was wordlessly told and blinked slowly underneath your mask. How could someone possibly fuck up this bad?

You startled a bit when you felt a hand rest on your hip, but maintained your usual demeanor.

"Would you like me to train the new recruits? Starting from there prevents more of this from happening," you questioned, curiously peering at him over your shoulder. "Or do you suggest otherwise?"

Dottore hummed. "I suggest that you assist me in relieving some of the irritation the others have caused."

You swallowed as anticipation bubbled in your chest. "Of course, my Lord."

"Mask." Was all he said, voice demanding and stern.

You wordlessly nodded, raising your hand to remove your mask and hood. There was a prickling sensation on the side of your face where his gaze bore into you, studying every twitch of your muscles. You could feel your skin grow hot, and with the way the corners of his lips slightly raised, he could see it, too.

Your nerves were abuzz with excitement, pooling in your gut that spread outwards towards your fingertips. You resisted the urge to rub your thighs together for some semblance of relief, clenching your jaw tightly.

"Already? Were you anticipating this from the start?" he mused, dragging his fingertips across your crotch. "How needy."

He squeezed lightly before abandoning the area, placing a hand on your chest to slip it underneath your thick coat, silently urging you to take it off. You did without complaint, finding the fur inside overbearing. You tried to toss it on the floor as neatly as you could before his hands found themselves beneath your shirt, gliding his cold, gloved palms over your scalding skin.

As quickly as they came, they left, only to push you down onto his desk. Your breath was caught in your throat, curling your fingers into a fist as you reveled in how he dragged his hands down your body to curl his fingers underneath the waistband of your pants. He wasted no time in sliding your pants off, swiftly pressing a palm against your aching cock.

You sighed at the touch, shifting your hips forward in search of relief. He gently squeezed and stroked you through your boxers with a quiet, condescending laugh.

He pinned you to the desk by the top of your back and began grinding against your ass, leisurely thrusting while observing the way your hands twitched to stimulate yourself even further.

With an amused smile, he suddenly pulled away completely. You shivered at the absence of his body heat, peering over your shoulder to send him a questioning look.

"I must thank you for your assistance," he said, rounding the corner of his desk. "I feel quite relaxed, now."

"I-Wh..." you stammered, trying to peer through his mask despite the lack of eyes.

"What's the matter? I'm afraid you need to speak up if you want me to understand you." He crossed his arms in a faux contemplative manner. Your face burned, unable to properly look at him.

"Oh, don't get shy on me now," he spoke with a mocking tone in his voice, standing directly across from you as he grabbed you by your chin. It was a firm hold, and you were unlikely to be able to free yourself from him - not that you wanted to, anyway. "It's a simple request. Tell me what you want."

Your mouth opened and closed pitifully before you finally responded, "I want you to keep touching me."

"See? That wasn't so difficult, now was it?" His grin widened a fraction and he returned to his place behind you. He enjoyed the way you were so easily reduced into a sheepish mess by just a few of his touches that you were sure were laced with some type of drug.

He removed his gloves and snaked one of his hands up your throat to your mouth, wordlessly commanding you to suck on his fingers. You readily complied and swirled your tongue around his skin which tasted faintly of chemicals and salt. Your heart pounded in your chest when he pushed them deeper, chest rising and falling in shallow intervals. You wrapped your lips around them and sucked, treating them as if they were his cock (which you secretly craved, but you supposed it wasn't much of a secret anymore).

Dottore could feel heat rising in his abdomen the longer he held them in your mouth, pleased with your eagerness.

A string of saliva connected you to him when he pulled away, his free hand sliding your underwear down your legs. He prodded your hole for a few agonizing moments just to listen to your hitching breaths before he finally inserted them inside you. His thick fingers provided a slight burn, but it quickly morphed into arousal.

He moved at a leisurely pace, enjoying your increasing impatience as you tried dutifully to keep your desperation at bay. He made sure to avoid your prostate to leave you needy for more, pressing against areas close to where you wanted him. You let out frustrated sighs but refused to voice out your complaints, letting him follow his own pace.

It was amusing to see you try hard to maintain your slipping composure, but he knew that soon enough, it would collapse completely.

You tensed when he removed his fingers from you, anticipating the familiar feeling of his cockhead against your hole, but it never came.

"You know, I think I may have had a change of heart," he said with a thoughtful tone. "Perhaps you should report to Arlecchino after all."

"Wait-" you pleaded, voice high and frantic. "S-surely you're not serious?"

"Oh? What makes you think that?"

You swallowed hard. Dottore is unpredictable - that much you learned. For all you know, he could be entirely sincere and you'd look like a fool, but a part of you believes that he's only messing with you. Getting you flustered was often a part of his intentions when he was around you, so it wasn't impossible.

"Because you do not back away from your plans when they're already set, regardless of how you think it may turn out."

"And might you enlighten me in what you think said plans are?"

You swallowed nervously as quiet words spilled from your lips. "To fuck me..."

There was a moment of agonizing silence (for you, at least) before a smile overtook his features. "I'm flattered you know me so well."

You bit your lip in anticipation when you heard the rustle of fabric behind you. You could hardly repress a shudder when you listened to him spit on his cock before pressing himself against your hole, holding your waist tightly with one hand while the other guided him inside.

You groaned at the burning sensation from the lack of preparation he provided you. Your dick ached to be touched, but you resisted and relished in the pain of having to wait.

"Fuck," Dottore hissed, fighting valiantly to keep himself from shoving his cock inside you. "You're tighter than the last time I fucked you."

"Just for you," your words were breathy, your rigid Agent persona slipping away by the minute. It almost made him laugh at how easy it was to break you down like this.

"For me?" he cooed, cock throbbing. "You poor thing. You had to wait so long just to finally have me fuck you, didn't you?"

You nodded, heavy pants exiting your lips. You peered at him from over your shoulder, eyes wide and watery; there was no calm Fatuus to be seen, and he found that he adored this side of you. He could hardly suppress a smile, instead focusing on how you tightened so pleasurably around him.

"It's almost hard to believe you haven't been whoring yourself out this entire time," he muttered, partially to you. "But I know that only I am able to satisfy you like this. Or am I wrong?"

He didn't expect an answer from you - not when you could hardly keep yourself standing. He curled his fingers in your hair and yanked, forcing you to look at him. Your incoherence wasn't going to stop him from trying.

"Well?"

"N-No... only you." Your cock throbbed.

"Thought so."

He let you go in favor of holding your hips firmly, pulling out briefly to slam himself back in. The sting of him stretching you out paired deliciously with the pleasure of his cockhead against your prostate, gradually speeding up until you had to cover your mouth to prevent your moans from escaping the office.

"None of that," Dottore muttered, pulling your arm away from your face. "Let them hear. Let them know you're not for the taking any longer."

Skin slapping skin echoed in the dimly lit room, accompanied by your noises that left no room for imagination. He pulled you by the waist and wrist, tugging you onto his cock as he thrusted forward.

Your dick produced precum that dripped into the cold, marble floor, aching to be touched. The need for release burned hotter in your abdomen, and you couldn't stop yourself from subconsciously moving your hips to fuck yourself onto him.

He paused for a moment to allow you to take a brief moment of control. A condescending smile overtook his features before he regained his previous pace, driving himself forward hard enough to sting. The pain only served to enhance the ecstasy that was brought upon you, lust pooling in the pit of your stomach.

It took a great deal of restraint to prevent yourself from reaching down and jerking yourself off, your nails creating thin indents on the firm wood of the desk. He could feel you tighten around him considerably and he nearly groaned, but let out a heavy sigh through his nose instead.

Snaking one hand up your throat, he pulled you to his chest and squeezed. You instinctively wrapped your fingers around his wrist but made no attempt to pull him away. He used his other hand to tightly grasp the base of your cock, interrupting your incoming orgasm.

You let your eyes flutter shut as drool escaped the corners of your lips, too hazy-minded to remember to swallow. Raspy breaths left your throat as your ears gradually began to ring, chest tightening with a need for air, but the deprivation only sent an addicting heat through your body.

You nearly choked on your saliva when his grip went lax, not entirely moving away, but enough to let you breathe. It was hard to inhale properly when he fucked the breath out of you, but you knew that that was the best part.

"Oh, fuck, pl-please," you babble, voice raspy.

"Please what?" Dottore spoke beside your ear. "I'm not a mind reader."

He subtly angled himself and targeted your prostate to hinder your words, a faint smile lifting his face at every stutter and cry you produced. You weakly tugged on his wrist in a vain attempt to tell him what you wanted, but he remained steadfast on hearing it from your lips.

"You can use your words, can't you?" He moved his hand from your neck to begin stroking your cock, the tip flushing an angry red.

"G-God, please-" you stammered before crying out, "Please let me cum!"

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" He relished in your pained groan when he briefly tightened his grip before releasing you, quickly guiding you to your orgasm with every flick of his wrist.

Electricity shot down your spine and pooled in your stomach as soon as he let go, catching you off guard. Your fingernails dug into his glove as you nearly curled into yourself, legs trembling so intensely it was a miracle you managed to hold yourself up thus far.

Your chest quickly heaved up and down. "W-Wait-"

"Quiet," Dottore shushed you. "You wanted this. Don't go back on your word."

You focused on his voice, noticing how steady and calm he sounded compared to your desperate pleas for release. A feeling of chagrin filled your chest, making an effort to control your noises, but your struggle was futile.

Tears dotted your lashes when the coil within your abdomen tightened until it finally snapped, the heat of your orgasm washing over you in powerful surges. You arched your back as your jaw went slack in a silent scream. Your cum spurt out of your cock and landed on the marble floor in a small puddle.

"I should do that more, shouldn't I?" Dottore said with a sharp-toothed grin. He wrapped his free arm around your waist when your quivering legs were unable to support your weight any longer, leaning your top half back on the desk.

You'd nod along with him if you were capable of comprehending his words, but the rhythmic pulses of burning ecstasy prevented you from replying - not that he minded. His dick pressed against your prostate despite you having just orgasmed, his relentless pace not once slowing down. The only sign of exertion he offered you was his labored breaths and occasional grunt, but even those were quiet.

You could feel his cock throb in a way that let you know he was close. You managed to strengthen your legs and started fucking yourself onto him, prompting him to straighten himself and watch.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?" he teased, hands resting on your hips. He leaned his head back and let out a satisfied groan that sent electricity shooting down your spine.

His fingertips gradually began to dig into your skin until he held you hard enough to bruise. He allowed you this semblance of control for a few more moments before yanking your hips to him with a few final thrusts, stilling as you shuddered at the feel of his cum coating your insides.

Your legs nearly went limp again, but you managed to keep yourself standing - albeit with an embarrassing amount of effort. You could hear his deep breaths behind you as both of you steeped in the silent afterglow. You suppressed a flinch when he decided to pull out, sighing at the uncomfortable emptiness it left.

You swiftly dressed yourself when you heard quiet shuffling, pulling out a handkerchief to clean your cum off the floor.

"Now, then," Dottore said as soon as you stood upright. "You have much to do since your absence. It'd be best if you began right away."

You nodded, slipping your mask back on your face.

"I don't care how you do it, I only want the results. Understood?"

"Of course." Your voice was back to its neutral tone, making the corner of the Harbinger's lips twitch upwards. It amused him how you responded so professionally despite him having fucked you not moments before. With a final nod, you left his office.

He turned to his desk once more, remembering the papers that he unceremoniously shoved inside the drawers. He sighed. It was back to work.

[hiskillingjar]

What do you think Strade, law, and ren would react to a bimbo type MC?

this is so fucking mean. how did you know i was into this??

OKAY WHATEVER, WOE NICHE FETISH BE UPON YOU AAAAA

ren 🦊

ren loves it. of course he loves it

mans is a cum brained hentai addict, of course he fucking loves you playing up to all his favourite tropes

he especially loves it when you pitch up your voice and coo and fawn over him. you sound like a little doll, it's just so cute!

(loves it even more when you do the same in bed and whine and squeal like one of his pornos lol)

cute outfits? skimpy clothes? an obscene amount of pink?? he'd love every second!! he loves high aesthetic anyway so he'd be more than happy to shower you with gifts so you always look pretty and perfect all the time

(and would totally want to pick out your outfits so that he could match lol)

he likes the heavy makeup too, especially if it gets messed up and smeared by tears, saliva, cum

he might even get a bit of a complex about it, especially if you played into the whole "tee hee i'm dumb and you're smart :3" part

like yeah actually, i AM smarter than you. you need me to look after you, don't you, baby? that's okay, you can just stay here with me and look pretty and enjoy being a dumb girl all you want ^_^

doesn't that sound so nice?

doesn't that sound so freeing, never having to worry about real life again?

awww don't fight me, babe, you just don't know any better!

lawrence 🥀

lawrence is. a little confused by it, honestly

like they know that you're playing this up. what are you trying to do? do you think i'm stupid, or something?

i mean law has kind of a complex about honesty, so they might be a bit. put off by you playing a role of some kind

besides, they want to break your brain by themselves. you doing it to yourself is no fun, is it?

in a brain break kind of circumstance though...

law would be super patient and take good care of you

your speech keeps slurring and you forget the words for things that should be obvious...that's okay though, they're there to help you. you don't need to think that hard when they're around

or maybe they'll just shut you up if it becomes too irritating, your dumb voice and your inability to even speak anymore. they have a pretty short fuse for that sort of thing

they might get a little tired of looking after a braindead doll, though...especially if some of your joints have been popped out

you'll just have to prove your worth in some way, the only way dumb dolls can...isn't that right, petel?

strade 🔨

H O R N Y

yeah strade likes it a lot too lmao

he picked it up pretty quickly though

the way you were dressed at the bar, the fact that you so readily trusted a total stranger. takes someone pretty dumb to do that...

so he takes a good long time figuring you out back in the basement?

is this just an act or are you really as stupid as you seem?

but you moan and whimper so sweetly, your voice slurring, and your brain blurred faster than he could have ever imagined

he has to keep you on, even for a little while, just to see what'll happen

considering his standing as the world's worst sugar daddy, you can dress up however you want and he doesn't have a word of complaint about it

especially when you get so upset when he tears your clothes off and fucks up your makeup when he fucks you. it's really irresistible though, your whines are too cute to resist!

might develop a bit of an ego about it (nowhere near as much as ren though, who definitely pushes his luck and fucks with you when strade's not around) especially considering how well his audience responds when he pushes a pretty girl into her rightful place under him

you're not much fun as anything other than a living fuckdoll though. you're too stupid for any kind of conversation, and you don't react nearly as fun to pain as he wants

but not like you care, even if you had enough of a brain TO care

you'll be his doll whenever he wants you <3

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Every Episode of Miraculous Ladybug Season 5 Ranked (Part 2)

Part 1

(This site's stupid 30 images per post forced me to do this, so thanks for nothing, Tumblr)

#14: Transmission

I swear, I'm not doing these on purpose. This is just how I've been ranking the episodes.

Like I said in the last part, this episode just did not need to happen. The first half is cheap melodrama between Marinette and Adrien and the second half is a run of the mill Akuma fight with two different heroes. This is the story that seriously warranted two parts this season?

I just can't stand the fact that Marinette and Adrien gave up their Miraculous so easily here. Maybe if it was Season 2, Season 3 at the latest, I'd buy it, but near the middle of Season 5? They honestly view their love lives as more important than the battle with Monarch. If it was anything else like the stress or physical danger, I'd also be understanding, but Tikki and Plagg decide that Marinette and Adrien are so miserable that they need to be happy by losing their Miraculous without a fight. Remember, this was just two episodes after “Reunion”, which showed Joan of Arc was a Miraculous holder. So fighting in the Hundred Years' War didn't get so much as an ounce of concern from Tikki, but teenage angst is too much for her little heart to bear?

Maybe it's the benefit of knowing this won't be permanent, but the issue I have is how much the show draws this out for so long, as if the audience is supposed to buy it. “It's really happening, guys! Ladybug and Cat Noir won't be the stars anymore, we swear!” This kind of plot can work under the right circumstances. All you needed to do is at the very least, make it something they choose to do instead of their Kwamis taking their Miraculous away so we can see them weigh the benefits of giving up life as a superhero in ways that aren't exclusively about their love lives. I'd even buy it if it's something Ladybug and Cat Noir actually agreed on before quitting.

While I can sort of get Alya becoming Scarabella due to her experience with the Ladybug (even if she chose to give up using any Miraculous at the end of Season 4), Zoe getting the Cat just feels like the writers put a bunch of names in a hat and picked hers. The two just don't have as compelling a dynamic as Ladybug and Cat Noir do, because they don't get a lot of time to know each other. Alya and Zoe have almost never interact with each other, so the masks don't really shake up their relationship, because there's no relationship to speak of.

Also, the Akuma here was really forced. We know nothing about this new character while the show acts like we're supposed to know who he is based on some minor hints with Nora calling earlier. While I will give the show credit for arguably giving us the most powerful Akuma of all time due to being both a man and a bear, he's as forgettable as a villain as Kitty Noire is as a hero.

Just about nobody here comes out smelling like roses in this episode. The Kwamis are morons for caring about one ship becoming canon, Marinette and Adrien are selfish cowards for giving up their Miraculous with little hesitation, their friends are ignorant buffoons for thinking some random attempt to get Marinette and Adrien to talk will somehow seal the deal, and Alya and Zoe are idiots for not thinking that they should take off the shiny ring that tracks their every movement. It's a terrible episode, and the only reason why “Deflagration” is ranked higher is because it didn't irritate me as much as this one did.

#15: Determination

And now we're onto the really bad episodes this season.

This episode is pretty much what you've come to expect by Season 5. People keep forcing Marinette into situations she's clearly uncomfortable, and we're supposed to just laugh at her anxiety, because we still have eight episodes to go before the show decides to take her mental health seriously.

What makes this episode really sting for me is that it's Luka and Kagami that are forcing Marinette into these unfunny antics this time. For the most part, they never really stooped to this level and didn't try to force anything with their respective love interests until they had trouble in their relationships that required them to communicate. But now, even though one knows Marinette and Adrien are superheroes while the other is usually very blunt with her feelings (at least, before she became this season's next victim), they're going to try forcing Marinette and Adrien to spend time together even they both know they have feelings for each other and MY GOD, THIS IS SO STUPID! It's just a cheap excuse for more pointless shenanigans that stopped being funny years ago.

Yet somehow, that's not the worst of the Love Square drama this episode. It's here where we learn that Adrien fell in love with Marinette over a season ago, during a scene where she violated his personal space. In addition, Adrien somehow showed no signs of attraction to Marinette until the plot demanded it, and came right after another episode showing him falling for her. Why not make it the fake confession Marinette practiced with Cat Noir in “Glaciator 2”? The kiss Marinette gave Adrien at the end of “Heroes' Day”? I'd even take another umbrella scene callback like in “Mr. Pigeon 72”. But no, it's the statue scene that the writers decided on. It's like they noticed all the criticism Marinette got in that episode and were like “Joke's on you! Adrien actually liked being lusted over like an object!”.

And then the masks come on and make things even more convoluted. Adrien at least got to reflect on the events of a previous episode to explain his new feelings for Marinette, but what caused Ladybug to suddenly fall for Cat Noir after four seasons?

The writers don't even bother with an explanation for this. Ladybug spontaneously becomes attracted to Cat Noir with absolutely no foreshadowing, buildup, or even callbacks to earlier episodes. The writers either wanted to complicate things one last time before Adrienette became canon, they wanted to bury the Ladynoir conflict arc from last season in the sand, or the most likely option, a combination of both.

The idea of the public turning on Ladybug was an interesting one to take, seeing how she's been universally beloved for the past four seasons. But despite hinting at it in “Multiplication”, this is the farthest is goes, and even then, guess who's behind it? You can't keep raising points against the main characters if it's only Chloe who does it. It doesn't open debate on the story and essentially tells the audience that they're wrong to agree with her, no matter what kind of point she makes.

As dumb as the way it happened was, Ladybug still screwed up and endangered the city by losing the other Miraculous, but we can't actually challenge children by acknowledging that the hero actually did something wrong and needs to grow as a person. We need to use a recurring character as a strawman to tell the audience that only bad people think this way! Way to remove any interesting internal conflict, writers.

The Akuma was pretty weak, just being an older Puppeteer, down to using wax statues like what happened in “Puppeteer 2”. The army of wax heroes could have been interesting, but there wasn't enough time to do much with the idea. The one thing I liked was how the Ox Miraculous' Resistance was used. It felt like an upgrade instead of a core power Manipula got.

This episode pretty much set the stage for a new level of frustrating Love Square drama this season, and it was one of the season's first outright awful episodes.

#16: Conformation

The only reason this episode isn't at the bottom is because the rest of the ones on this list are far worse by comparison. Make of that what you will.

Like most season finales, this one continues the tradition of being better at buildup than actual execution. Gabriel's plan is pretty decent, even if it's just Heroes Day on a global scale. He utilizes his public influence and business skills to plan out a plan to get almost all of humanity working for him. While I don't like the Miraculized, I still think Gabriel being on top works here, especially since he's not going out into the field like the last three finales.

But other than an okay evil plan, this episode is still pretty bad. Marinette being infected with nightmare dust only happens to get her to the Agreste manor because the writers forgot that Marinette learned Gabriel was Monarch last episode. It could have been a decent way to up the stakes by showing Ladybug not being at 100%, but like everyone else, she just fights off the nightmare dust and doesn't have a single problem during her fight with Monarch. In general, the nightmare dust isn't really utilized well, only being an excuse to bring out the Miraculized. It doesn't impact everyone fighting off the Miraculized, and there's no lesson or theme about fear that's conveyed here.

Speaking of nightmare dust, I'm pretty sure the only reason why it was introduced in the first place was to bench Adrien, which is still easily one of the dumbest decisions the show has ever made. While everyone else had no problem resisting the nightmare dust, Adrien is just physically incapable of doing so because of some half-assed character arc the show pretended happened. So either Adrien got a more potent dosage of the nightmare dust, or Adrien's just too weak to actually overcome his fears. “Sandboy”? Never heard of it! The fact that the writers also tried to claim they were being subversive with fairy tale tropes and cliches didn't help, since it devalues Adrien as a character even further. He's not a superhero and Ladybug's closest ally. He's just some damsel in distress who needs to be saved. Let me just remind you, if the genders were reversed, this would not be seen as some bold move, but the same overused cliche trying to be something new.

I already talked about my problems with Nathalie in “Passion”, and the stuff she does here isn't really different. Despite enabling Gabriel for five seasons, the episode has the balls to act like Nathalie always had morals and is appalled by Gabriel planning to sacrifice someone to save his wife. Just remember, “Passion” established that Nathalie had a history as a treasure hunter, so this is like Indiana Jones not knowing what the Holy Grail does. Nathalie only got dumber than in “Passion” because she somehow thought she could take on a supervillain with nothing but a crossbow and a body that already has one foot in the grave. And just like Felix, Nathalie can't even apologize to Ladybug for the aiding and abetting a terrorist thing. Between Nathalie, Felix, and Gabriel, does using the Peacock Miraculous just make you an idiot?

While the buildup is decent, it's just not enough to really get audiences excited for the second part.

#17: Representation

This episode is yet another example of the show's double standards.

Without going into detail too much, this episode came right after “Revolution”, the one that essentially portrayed Audrey taking control of Chloe's life as a karmic punishment. What happens in this episode? We learn Felix's father literally took control of his life and it's portrayed as wrong as child abuse should be. That's why this episode is still better than “Revolution”. It at the very least understands how serious child abuse is, and tries to tell Felix's story with as much dignity as two teenagers in white onesies can have.

With that being said, there's a reason why this episode is as low as it is. The Sentimonster play used to tell Marinette about Felix is just so stupid. The sets and costumes look ridiculous, it's hard to take the story seriously with Felix and Kagami doing all the voices, and most of it is unnecessary since the whole point is to tell Marinette that Gabriel is Monarch... something that the writers decided she needed to find out on her own in the next episode. It comes across less like Felix trying to alert Ladybug to who Monarch really is and more like he's just trying to justify his own actions. Hell, the actual reason he decided to tell Marinette about Gabriel was because he and Kagami were worried about their own relationship being ruined by him. And yet somehow, Ladybug lets him on the team at the end of the season.

The stuff with Adrien was also pretty dumb. It's cheap fanservice that reminds the audience of Cat Blanc when none of the characters should know who Cat Blanc is. You can call him Anticat all you want, but everyone can see that he's just Cat Blanc with blue hair. It's bad enough that this was what all the times Cat Noir almost Cataclysming people this season was meant to lead up to, but this is pretty much the reason why Adrien is benched during the finale.

This episode really shows how desperate the writers are to make people take this show seriously by showing serious topics like genocide and child abuse, as if the show didn't already ignore the horrible implications previous episodes (like the very last one before this) raised and will continue to raise during the season finale. So much of the episode is just dark for the sake of being dark. It's nothing too horrifying for children, of course, but the issue is how obvious it is that the writers are trying to raise the stakes right before the season finale and show how mature the show's writing is. For lack of a better term, it's this show's equivalent to “Ow The Edge”.

#18: Revelation

Get ready for the episode where the writers abandon all attempts to be subtle and create an episode specifically to attack people who think Chloe isn't the most evil character on the show. Because how dare they be optimistic and try to see the good in people! What do they think this is, a kids' show?

While a big problem with the Lila episodes was how stupid the class is, this episode made it so Marinette got to join in on losing brain cells too. Despite outright admitting to neglecting her duties as class representative (as absurd as it is to be in charge of notifying teachers about student progress they should be aware of), we're supposed to agree with her for not telling her teacher about Chloe cheating. Not only does this make no sense since you'd think Marinette would want to see Chloe get punished, but her claiming that all Chloe does is abuse her privileges loses any point to it because Marinette admitted to not doing her job as class representative, making her just as lazy as Chloe and unintentionally helping her through not telling the teachers. And that's not even getting into how many times Marinette has broken the secret identity rule despite also being the one to enforce it the most as the Guardian.

If the episode at least admitted to Marinette having personal issues that prevented her from displaying any form of professionalism towards Chloe (especially since this episode takes place after “Derision”), that'd be fine. Sometimes, people just can't let bygones be bygones and let their emotions dictate how they handle things. If she willingly resigned from her position by admitting she was just as at fault for Chloe getting as far as she did with her cheating, that would have worked. Instead, the episode does the same things it did with Adrien for the last few seasons: Go out of its way to vindicate Marinette's complaining and never even consider the idea of her being wrong in the slightest.

It's also hilarious to see Ms. Bustier act like an actual teacher for once and plan to work with Chloe to help make up her missed work, but portray it as a bad thing because in Marinette's eyes, that's not a punishment. Since the school year is almost over, Chloe will have to attend summer school at best and be held back or even expelled at worst. How the hell does that not count as a punishment, Marinette?

And don't forget how she gets not one, but two separate scenes insulting people for being idealistic and not wanting to write off people as beyond saving, the second one being copied from Astruc's Twittter.

And remember, this was right before a string of episodes where characters were able to change their ways, including Sabrina (Chloe's accomplice), Andre (Chloe's enabler), and Gabriel (Chloe's supervillain contact). How the hell is Chloe the only one being written off as irredeemable when she didn't pull off any of her evil plans without help? You can still punish Chloe. All I want is for the other characters to be punished as well.

But let's talk about the main event for this episode: Lila. In one of the most confusing “twists” in the show's history, she's now an identity thief who lives with three different mothers. Why? Because the writers have no idea how to hype people up for her being the main villain for Season 6, so they think just making her mysterious for the sake of making her mysterious is enough to build her up as a villain. It's like the writers realized Lila had absolutely zero resources of her own, so they felt like they needed to establish her as an evil genius to compensate. “Who cares if there's no logical explanation for how she's gotten as far as she has despite constantly boasting about her celebrity connections in public? We have to make her vague and mysterious, damn it! It worked for Judas Traveller and Kaine, didn't it?”

This episode takes multiple shots at fans and tries to make Lila seem more compelling than she actually is. It feels more like damage control than an actual plot-relevant episode.

#19: Illusion

Want to see the main characters acting like idiots for almost a half-hour? No? Too bad!

So much of this episode's conflict, the characters trying to investigate a possible lead related to Monarch, comes from everyone making stupid decisions. Nino tries to get one of the most influencial men in Paris akumatized, talks about it in public, falls for his trick, and lets him into his secret alliance. This season really cemented his role as the Zapp Brannigan of Miraculous Ladybug with how incompetent he is. If you really want to start portraying Nino as a tactical genius, maybe you should actually show him doing something smart instead of getting outsmarted by obvious tricks.

Of course, the other characters aren't immune to Nino's stupidity either. Marinette, Adrien, and Alya just go along with his asinine plan to get Gabriel akumatized, never question his logic, and ultimately still go along with the Resistance despite how obnoxious their leader is. The worst part is Ladybug not recognizing her own partner being stung by Venom... when they're fighting someone with access to over a dozen Miraculous. I know Cat Noir was born with glass bones and paper skin, but I don't think he literally freezes in terror when he's scared. And of course, Ladybug never questions the tiny invisible men who stunned Cat Noir after this scene.

The cafeteria scene is something that should really be cited as an example of how terrible this show is with acknowledging continuity. You thought there would be some compelling drama discussing the secret identity rule and all the double standards it has? NOPE! It's a funny joke about how confusing the identity stuff is at this point. The fact that Nino somehow doesn't understand the concept of secret identities in this scene is yet another reason as to why he isn't even qualified to lead an anime club, much less a resistance against Monarch.

The idea of Monarch using an illusion to fight Ladybug and Cat Noir was an interesting one, but it still had some holes. For one thing, what if the two heroes can't dodge one of the illusion Collector's attacks? What if they're fast enough to try tying him up, only to dispel the illusion? The entire plan pretty much relies on the fact that Ladybug and Cat Noir are too slow to catch the Collector.

But one scene that has only become more questionable after the finale is Ladybug trying to reach through to the illusion Collector. Like several episodes this season, it comes across like the show is spitting on idealism and wanting to solve problems peacefully because Monarch tricked Ladybug into believing he willingly rejected an Akuma. Remember kids, if someone says they want to change, it's really a trick as part of an evil supervillain's plan to maintain his secret identity.

This episode is like a microcosm of everything wrong with Season 5. Poor morals, characters acting like idiots, shooting down any potential for plot development, and being told characters are right when their actions say otherwise.

#20: Confrontation

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the episode where the writers just gave up.

There is just so much that happens in this episode that the writers cram in. There's Marinette's “final” confrontation with Lila, the battle with Reflekta, Sabrina's redemption, Juleka's character development, Ms. Bustier's character development, Mr. Damocles' character development, and the reveal of Lila's true nature. I don't think I need to tell you that the writers struggle to make all of these plot threads work in less than a half-hour.

First off, Marinette and Lila. The previous episode implied that Marinette let Lila have this short-term victory because she had her own plan to expose her. This episode puts that plan into action. See, she has the genius idea of going along with submitting school application forms to Lila and Chloe with no actual countermeasure in place, waiting for Sabrina to have a sudden change of heart so they can work together to expose Lila and Chloe through a bathroom peephole. This is the kind of tactical intelligence that will be studied in the history books, let me tell you. There's just no weight to Marinette and Lila's final battle of wits because there isn't any. There's no series of gambits or scenarios that actually pit their minds against each other, so you don't get a lot of satisfaction from Marinette's triumph over Lila. It doesn't help that there's more focus on Sabrina than on Marinette, but I'll get to that later. Even the actual payoff is anti-climactic. Most of the class' apology to Marinette was deleted because Mr. Damocles using a Magical Charm shield was just too important to leave on the cutting room floor according to the writers.

This episode really shows just how Marinette's classmates are like NPCs in the Lila-centric stories. They don't second guess Lila's accusations due to their past experiences with Marinette, and as soon as Marinette's name is cleared, they instantly apologize to her and don't even think about how easily they were fooled by Lila and Chloe. The worst example is Alya, Marinette's confidant and someone who was trusted to temporarily use the Ladybug Miraculous last episode, falling for this and not trusting Marinette. My sister in Christ, your friend goes out and saves lives on a weekly basis at least. How can you fall for Lila's story? This is why I think the Lila episodes should have all been set pre-Season 4, so Alya falling for Lila's lies is a little more believable since she isn't already in on Marinette's biggest secret.

I also have to roll my eyes at how melodramatic the talk about everyone's “futures” is. Yes, I don't know a lot about the French education system (If there's anything I'm getting wrong here, don't hesitate to let me know), but I don't get why they're treating their high school choices like such a big deal. Maybe if it was college, I'd get it, but high school? Why can't you just transfer if it doesn't work out? But then again, this is the same show created by a man who thinks school uniforms are a sign of fascism.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES.

Speaking of futures, this episode also showed just how little the writers cared about Adrien at this point, with how a supposedly heartwaming moment is him having no plan in life other than Marinette. I know this might seem weird given my problem with him last season was his refusal to think about anyone but himself, but there's a difference between wanting someone to follow orders without complaining and giving them absolutely no motivation outside of their significant other. And once again, if you swap the genders, this becomes sexist as hell.

But the big problem comes in the form of how the side characters are utilized. I don't know why the writers decided to focus on developing characters like Sabrina, Juleka, Ms. Bustier, and Mr. Damocles with five episodes left in the season. This should have been done in earlier episodes, not in the middle of a major story arc. I'm just left not caring about the development because it takes away from the conflict between Marinette and Lila, to say nothing about how little Adrien and Alya contribute to the story.

To me, this episode feels like the writers had no idea how to make Marinette outsmarting Lila into an episode, so they crammed in all these half-assed character arcs to pad out the runtime. While “Revelation” personally upset me more, I personally think this is the worse episode of the two from a writing standpoint.

#21: Revolution

Given how often I've criticized the way Chloe has been handled over the years, I bet you're surprised that this one isn't at the bottom of the list. You'll be even more surprised to learn that I think Chloe is one of this episode's saving graces.

This episode (along with “Derision”) provide an example of the Chloe we should have gotten ever since Season 3 ended: A villain who's allowed to be a threat while still being funny. So much of the past two seasons have done nothing but portray Chloe as nothing but an incompetent joke, but here, near the end of the season, she's in a position of power and is taken seriously. The episode does a good job showing how tyrannical Chloe's rule as Mayor is while still making it funny and in-character for her. She uses her power on frivolous things because she's a teenage girl who doesn't understand the complicated issues that come with politics. It's also why her idea of punishment involves detention, because it's something she's more familiar with as someone in middle school. Of course, even the episode all about Chloe ruling Paris with an iron fist isn't stupid enough to actually let Chloe be a compelling antagonist. No, we need to constantly remind the audience that Chloe is being played, as if we're supposed to see her as nothing more than a pawn even though the show still wants us to see her as an irredeemable monster.

Putting aside that one speck of something interesting, this episode is still incredibly bad. So much of the story is dependent not on how smart the villains' plan is, but rather, how lazy the heroes are. Not only is there not a single moment where Ladybug and Cat Noir acknowledge that the whole reason why Chloe was able to take over as Mayor was their fault, they act as if Chloe abusing her power to make everyone's life a living hell isn't enough of a reason to stop her. What kind of Prime Directive bullshit is this? YOU JUST HELPED SOMEONE LEAD AN INSURRECTION AGAINST A POWERLESS CIVILIAN! HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT?! If there was at least something involving Ladybug and Cat Noir taking responsibility for what happened or at least showing that they played a part in this (especially since they “grow up” in this episode), I'd get it. Instead, because this is Season 5, our heroes are perfection incarnate, and can't ever be wrong. Even when they finally decide to get off their asses and stop Chloe, they didn't know she was akumatized, and nobody seemed to care before Chloe blurted it out, so Ladybug and Cat Noir have no excuses for slacking off.

The final battle is just a joke. Not only is it another excuse to force the Resistance into the plot, it shows Ladybug and Cat Noir unlocking the full power of their Miraculous in the most anti-climactic way possible. Even though they spent most of the episode caring more about their personal lives than actually stopping the obvious threat, somehow, this means they “grew up”. There's no buildup, no explanation, and no catharsis gained from this achievement. All of a sudden, Ladybug and Cat Noir are adults now. There's one decent scene with Adrien, but that's far from an actual explanation. What, did you actually expect an explanation for something this huge? Too bad! We need to have Marinette tell Chloe she's not afraid of her anymore even though she was never afraid of her prior to this season. Of all the things that happened this season, this is the one that makes it clear that Season 5 was supposed to be the end. There is no way Season 6 can happen unless the writers come up with some crap that undoes this, because Ladybug and Cat Noir have essentially unlocked god mode.

But I saved the worst for last, and you all know what it is: Chloe's punishment. I still can't get over the fact that there's actually a scene heavily implying we're supposed to be happy Chloe is going to live with her emotionally abusive mother in the same season that's trying to tell a serious story about child abuse. There's already been so much said about all the horrible things this implies, so I'm going to try and bring up something else. Specifically, how everyone is just okay with this. I can buy Ladybug given all the things Chloe has done to her, but it's pretty odd that Cat Noir, Andre, and Zoe all decide to wash their hands of their association with Chloe as if they never knew her. They don't even feel bad that it had to come to this, and feel absolutely no sympathy for her. Remember in episodes like “Malediktator” and “Queen Banana” that showed Adrien and Zoe still cared for Chloe despite all the terrible things she's done, teaching kids a lesson about trying to show compassion to your enemies? The writers sure didn't, because Adrien and Zoe don't get to say a thing about Chloe after she's defeated. Way to establish connections between characters and do nothing with them, writers!

This episode had so many things wrong with it, and it only got worse the longer it went on, to the point where the ending is essentially condoning child abuse. It's disgusting, but at the very least, it means we're not going to have to deal with Chloe in Season 6.

.....

#22: Adoration

This is one of those episodes I honestly didn't think would hate as much as I did.

I think of all the episodes this season, this is the one that shows how frustratingly inconsistent the characterization is. Characters will either announce how much someone has changed or will take a complete 180 while the show makes it clear this is how things have always been. Not only does the show say Zoe has somehow changed and suddenly developed feelings for Marinette, but Chloe's view of Sabrina has gotten even lower, to the point where she calls her an underling to her face. Because actually showing character development and changing interpersonal relationships is too hard for these writers. It's like that rule everyone knows: Tell, don't show. That's how it goes, right?

Before anyone gets on my case about this, I'm not trying to say that Zoe having a crush on Marinette was a bad idea. The issue is more how it comes across like the show is trying to earn brownie points with LGBT+ audiences with the reveal. The issue is that this major revelation isn't about Zoe, but rather, Marinette. It's from a Marinette-focused episode all about her heterosexual feelings for Adrien while Zoe's coming out story is nothing more than a cautionary tale to get Marinette to finally try kissing Adrien. I'm not saying Marinette should have dumped Adrien to be with Zoe. The point I'm trying to make is if you want to show something as huge as a character coming out as sapphic, maybe put more focus on that character's struggles than the struggles the straight main character goes through. Maybe instead of being an afterthought in the story, make the episode about Marinette helping Zoe confess her feelings to a girl she likes.

This was also the episode that laid the groundwork for Andre and Sabrina's “redemption arcs”. Normally, I wouldn't mind something like them changing, but it's less to show a character becoming a better person and more to vilify a different character. Andre went from a corrupt politician who abuses his power to please his daughter to an honest politician who is forced to abuse his power to please his daughter. Sabrina went from Chloe's loyal friend who chooses to help her make people miserable to Chloe's underling who is being forced to help make people miserable. Both of them were perfectly willing to go along with Chloe's acts in the past, and as we saw in “Revolution”, being a pawn didn't excuse her from being punished, so by that logic, they shouldn't get a free pass either. It's also strange how this wasn't the episode where Andre and Sabrina officially cut ties with Chloe, considering they already had issues with them. There wasn't really a reason to wait if they already made their issues clear, especially Sabrina. Somehow framing Marinette here is okay but doing it a few episodes later is too much for her?

Also, Lila served no purpose in the episode. Just like in “Collusion” and “Revolution”, all she does is tell Chloe to do things she was perfectly capable of doing in earlier episodes. We're supposed to see her as a mastermind, but I don't get why she has to hold Chloe's hand here. Why can't Lila come up with her own plan or manipulate different people from behind the scenes? It only further highlights the double standards because while Sabrina being a lackey to Chloe earns her sympathy, Chloe being a lackey to Lila doesn't for some reason.

I am getting really tired of the whole “Nobody believes Marinette” formula that every Lila episode relies on (Chameleon, Ladybug, Risk, Revelation, Confrontation). It's the exact same story. Everyone who has known Marinette for the past four seasons suddenly loses all trust in her, only instead of instantly believing Lila, it's Chloe. CHLOE. This is worse than Lila, because she's at least in good graces with other people, but this is the same season that solidified the idea of nobody liking her at all. They seriously take her words at face value over Marinette, someone whose friends know has tormented her for a year at least (Derision)? Put aside how I feel about Chloe, this is a story that depends on trusting someone nobody has any reason to trust, and it makes no sense.

There are just so many minor issues in this episode that pile up enough to really piss me off. It's like a death by a thousand cuts.

#23: Collusion

I normally don't try to get political on this blog unless I absolutely have to, and talking about this episode is one of those occasions.

If you've been around since the early days of this blog, you'll remember that Astruc once compared Chloe to Donald Trump, and not too long after the January 6th attack on the Capitol Building at that.

Even before that thread, Astruc made a joke comparing Trump to Chloe less than a week after the attack.

Whether you agree with Astruc's views on Trump or not, the point is that he kept up with American politics and strongly opposes him. So anyway, let's get to the episode where the heroes let someone lead a small army to storm the mayor's office and force him to resign, which is totally different from what Trump did.

I cannot get over just how confusing this episode is. For a show created by someone who usually keeps up with American politics, this is such a tone-deaf episode. I get that the story is trying to lean into French history, and I'm not sure how far into production the crew was when the attack on the Capitol happened, but given how Astruc was aware of the drama, he and his team should have at least considered the implications this episode could raise. The problem with the discussion around January 6th is that the supporters see it in as righteous a light as Miss Sans-Culotte is. As far as they know, what happened wasn't a violent invasion of government property, but a peaceful demonstration. Sure, none of the talking balloons said “Hang Andre Bourgeois!”, but it still brings similar imagery to mind.

Something that also harms the French Revolution narrative is the fact that all of Miss Sans-Culotte's supporters are helping her against her will. Much like countless Akumas throughout the show's history (Darkblade, Kung Food, The Puppeteer, Princess Fragrance, Despair Bear, Befana, Zombizou, Malediktator, Gamer 2.0, Mr. Pigeon 72, Hack-San, Revelation, Confrontation), Miss Sans-Culotte brainwashes innocent civilians so they can help her cause. This goes against the idea that she's speaking for the people, because her victims don't have a say in this. She's not reenacting the French Revolution, she's reenacting Order 66!

Also, this is something I've neglected to discuss. Why make Miss Bustier pregnant at all, much less akumatize her while pregnant? Outside of her students telling Chloe not to make a scene because the stress caused from dealing that is bad for the baby, Ms. Bustier's pregnancy adds nothing to the story. Seriously, the story thinks Chloe annoying the class is more dangerous for Ms. Bustier's baby than Ms. Bustier herself running around and getting into fights with her baby inside. It could have made for some interesting drama where Ladybug and Cat Noir are hesitant to hurt a pregnant woman, even if she's been akumatized. While the writers do try to work around it by giving her minions to do the fighting (as much as it mucks up the themes of this episode), it still doesn't explain why she needed to be pregnant during this episode in the first place.

Putting aside how unlikable Miss Sans-Culotte is in this episode, you can't even enjoy seeing Andre getting kicked out of office because this is the same episode where the writers really want us to feel bad for him. Look at how sad the rich white politician is. Let's ignore the fact that he's a big part of the reason why Chloe is as bad as she is, has abused his power multiple times, and is all around the cause of his own problems. But even though this is a show that tries to take an anti-capitalist stance (which I'll get to more in “Emotion”), we're supposed to side with one of the biggest symbols of everything wrong with capitalism and political corruption. Even then, Andre is framed for corruption instead of the several instances he actually abused his power, as if they're trying to say he was never a corrupt man. He just loves his daughter. Is that too much to ask for? His daughter herself? Eh, who cares? You really need to support the rich white man. Are we sure this show was created by a liberal?

But the biggest issue is the moral. It's impossible to frame Miss Sans-Culotte storming the mayor's office as a peaceful protest because she's clearly inspired by one of the bloodiest and most violent revolutions in history. If she was supposed to be a violent warrior who needed to learn there was a better way, that would work, but instead, the show downplays how dangerous she is... when she has a guillotine blade for a weapon. You can't claim Miss Sans-Culotte is non-violently protesting Andre's administration when she brainwashes innocent civilians, storms into the building, and demands he resign without any question. Even taking all that into consideration, the moral ends up backfiring because forcing Andre out of office caused an even bigger problem with Chloe taking over, and the very next episode threw the non-violence message out the window.

Whether or not you want to consider the political implications here, this is still a terrible episode with a terrible moral.

#24: Pretension

I've always had issues with Felix, and after the trainwreck that was “Emotion”, let's just say this didn't exactly do anything to raise my opinion of him. Just like his other appearances for the last few seasons, he did absolutely nothing to help Ladybug, focused on only doing things that benefited him, and making everyone's lives worse due to his incompetence. And somehow, this idiot is the one who moves the plot along the most.

The entire conflict happened because Felix kidnapped Kagami without even coming up with a plan. Even when he believes that Kagami is a Sentimonster (I apologize for saying that word Felix hates, but once again, the show provides no alternative to it), he doesn't think of Tomoe being able to track her or command her to leave even at a far distance. He doesn't even try to explain himself to Ladybug and Cat Noir and spends more time running away from everyone who wants to kick his ass. But by the show's logic, he just needs friends, even though his entire deal is that he works alone to get what he wants.

It's bad enough that Felix has to screw up everything he touches, but now he's dragging Kagami to his level. Kagami has cemented her role as Felix's lackey/girlfriend and nothing more. People give Marinette crap for the way the behaves around Adrien in and out of universe, but Kagami knows nothing about Felix, yet a single conversation about his past is enough for her to fall head over heels in love with him. She went from someone not willing to take any bullcrap from Marinette and Adrien to believing Felix's story in a fraction of a heartbeat. This season really likes ruining the few likable characters the show has left.

I also have to roll my eyes at the conversation Marinette and Gabriel have about fashion. For one thing, it's one of the few times the entire season remembers that Marinette wants to be a fashion designer and doesn't really factor into her rivalry with Gabriel. This season made their conflict revolve around how to treat Adrien, not their views on fashion. It feels like they only brought it up to remind viewers that Marinette is still into fashion. Well, that, and also to take a stance on artistic integrity... supposedly.

And on that note, it's amazing how the writers display little to no self-awareness during this scene. The show that embraces sticking to the status quo and rejecting almost any attempt at keeping consistent continuity is now trying to teach children about the importance of being willing to take risks when creating something. This is like Hannibal Lecter trying to promote veganism. I get the message, but the messenger's history is keeping me from buying it. It doesn't help that for a scene trying to point out how outdated certain views are, the show ultimately chooses to take the side of the man with the “wrong” mindset by the end of the season.

The pancake metaphor really confuses me too. It's meant to be a running gag that the only thing Gabriel knows how to cook is pancakes, but A) Nothing is really indicated to show how terrible they are as a metaphor for how bad his outdated views are other than Marinette's verbal assessment of them, and B) We later learn Gabriel used to be poor, so either he never knew how to cook prior to earning his fortune or being rich somehow made him forget basic living skills. I'm just saying, when an episode of Sid the Science Kid manages to better convey someone doing a terrible job making pancakes, you might need to put in a little more effort to show how bad Gabriel's pancakes supposedly are.

Finally, Tomoe. This episode didn't really do much to show her as a compelling threat, given all she did was nag Gabriel and try to shoot her daughter when she didn't even try commanding her to fight back when she was kidnapped. She's nothing more than a female Gabriel and is another example of how overstuffed this show's cast is,

This episode is awful, plain and simple. It took aspects from previous episodes that were already questionable, and doubled down on them while acting like there weren't any problems at all.

#25: Derision

And now we're onto the really, REALLY bad episodes this season. One of the reasons why this post took so long to make was that I wasn't sure how to rank these last three episodes. Thankfully, I managed to find a way to rank them based on the morals are executed. With that being said, let's start scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Ah, “Derision”. You're the only episode that makes the backlash caused by “Chameleon” seem like a pleasant breeze. It's incredible to see just how much negative a reputation this episode has in the fandom. Virtually nobody likes it because it manages to upset everyone with its poor characterization. I'm talking Marinette fans, Adrien fans, Chloe fans, Kim fans, and pretty much every other character's fans. I've only seen a few die hard fans defend this episode, and they're the people on Tumblr who defend pretty much everything done this season.

I have just one question to ask about this episode: Why did it need to happen? We didn't learn anything new that we didn't know already. We know Chloe is mean, and we know Marinette used to be more timid and had no friends. We didn't even need that much of an explanation for why Marinette acts the way she does around Adrien, seeing how it was usually played for laughs

Speaking of which, let's talk about the fact that the episode tries to shame the audience for laughing at the jokes about Marinette's reactions to Adrien. You know, something that was the show's primary running gag ever since Season 1? A running gag the writers ran into the ground by the end of Season 3 but still chose to go with it? Now we're not supposed to have laughed at it, assuming we laughed at it all. Way to insult even the small portion of viewers who didn't get on your case about this, writers.

I only have about two positive things to say about this episode. For one thing, Chloe actually served as a pretty decent antagonist in the flashbacks. Much like in “Revolution”, when the writers actually let her be a villain on her own without being made a pawn, she can be somewhat entertaining. If this was the Chloe we got after Season 3, I don't I would have been as upset at the direction Astruc's team took with the character.

In addition, the thing that saves this episode from being at the bottom is that unlike the next two, it actually understands that what the antagonist did was wrong. They don't make up excuses for what Chloe did and she actually gets called out as a result. It doesn't lead to anything major, but it's something.

Like with “Queen Banana”, there's not much else I can say that hasn't already been said. There's plenty of retcons, the characterization for everyone is off, it attacks the audience, and the message about trauma got fumbled by the show's usual double standards. It's been said over and over again, and it's become a symbol of how much the show's quality has degraded.

#26: Emotion

I think if you've kept up with my reviews of this season, you should know by now that I don't exactly like Felix, and most of the problems I have with him can be attributed to this episode. In fact, for a while, this was going to be my choice for the bottom slot.

It's clear that the writers want to make Felix this wild card who's only in it for himself, but like most of the show's antagonists, they want to show Felix as this devious mastermind... but he's also not really evil, and you should feel bad for him. For most of the episode, Felix does nothing but make everyone's lives worse during his first outing as Argos. He smears his cousin's reputation yet again, tricks his girlfriend into dancing with him, condemns some rich kids for the crime of being rich when he's just as rich, and eventually wipes out all life on the face of the earth. But he's just doing it for his cousin, we swear!

While Felix has understandable motivations for what he does, wanting to free Adrien and Kagami, the way he tries to achieve his goal makes it hard to sympathize with him. If the whole point was that what he did was wrong and that he needs to find a different way, that could work. Instead, we're supposed to see him as this tragic figure who was forced to do terrible things when the episode shows him happily singing while causing chaos. It's the same problem with Gabriel, wanting a sympathetic character to do unapologetically evil things. The fact that he has to be told that genocide is bad doesn't make us want to sympathize with him when he breaks down crying. It paints a picture that he's crazy but the show wants to act like he isn't.

Even putting all the crap with Felix aside, the episode is still unbearable. The stuff with Marinette was poorly executed and was just done to get her involved in the plot, and later become the first one to excuse Felix for betraying her. Other than the dance scene, you could easily just have Marinette swing in as Ladybug when Argos starts his rampage and nothing would really change. The episode tries to make jokes about how unnecessary this is, but as usual, its attempts to be self-aware come across like its saying “What we're doing it wrong, we know it's wrong, but we're gonna do it anyway!”

Speaking of the dance scene, I can't stop rolling my eyes whenever Felix tries to be all “We live in a society” to Marinette. Forget the corrupt politicians, corporate moguls, human traffickers, and despotic rulers of foreign nations. The absolute worst section of humanity is composed of the teenage children of the 1%. Sure, you'd have to break my legs before I'd agree to supervise them at this party, but I don't get why these are the people we're supposed to see as irredeemable monsters. Do the writers think because these kids associate themselves with Chloe, we'll automatically hate them? Newsflash, but if I had to choose between hanging out with some annoying kids and a mass murderer, I'd stick with the annoying kids.

Rewatching this episode was what helped me finally realize just what my problem with the show's anti-capitalist message is. How the hell am I supposed to hate the villains on this show for being rich when several characters are rich or at the very least, are successful thanks to their connections to the rich? Think about it for a second. Putting aside Adrien and Kagami, you have Marinette, the daughter of two of the most popular bakers in Paris and earned the respect of multiple celebrities, Alya, the daughter of a chef who works at a five-star hotel, Nino, someone who got to DJ at a major fashion show, Rose, who is friends with a literal prince, Luka and Juleka, the children of a popular rock star, and Max, the son of an astronaut with access to cutting-edge technology. Somehow, these people are supposed to be poor? They make Monica from Friends look like Oscar the Grouch. It's why I can't take the message seriously. You can't write a story about a class struggle when both classes are shown to be pretty well-off.

The only thing that saves this episode from being at the bottom of the list is the fact that despite committing genocide while singing, Felix at least gets what he did was wrong and makes up for it. It doesn't fix everything else he did in this episode, but that's better than nothing. As for the villain featured in the episode that's at the bottom of this list? If you've been keeping track, I think you know who I mean.

#27: Re-Creation

I'll admit, I'm sort of cheating here. I'm judging this episode more as a finale than an individual episode, but I'm making an exception because the plot is tied to wrapping up all the loose ends this season.

I'm mentioning this because for a season finale, the stakes just feel so low. The fight between Bug Noire and Monarch doesn't have any weight to it because they've barely interacted at all for the last five seasons. These are supposed to be two mortal enemies, but you can't really buy the enmity between them. It ultimately cheapens the moment of Bug Noire triumphing over Monarch in the end... before Monarch triumphs over her not long afterwards, but we'll get to that.

The stuff with the Miraculized doesn't help either. We already know that the Ladybug and Cat Miraculous are in the Agreste manor, so the Miraculized's goal is impossible to achieve. It's never even explained why the Miraculized don't go back to the manor to help Monarch beat Bug Noire, since they should still be able to track the Miraculous. All of the fights with them just come across like filler, and there's no real sense of danger or hopelessness to be found. Whether the Miraculized win or lose is irrelevant. Nothing will happen either way because the important stuff is happening in the Agreste manor.

This extends to the part where all the heroes appear to help. It doesn't come across as an Avengers-esque moment for the climax, because it doesn't change anything. The episode never explains what any of these characters were doing prior to the events of this episode and why only now they're helping out. The United Heroes are the most egregious example because unlike Fei or Su-Han, they're a major organization whose members include the president, and they didn't do a damn thing when Monarch stole all of the other Miraculous. Speaking of, there is no way in hell that Su-Han taught Mirakung-Fu to three random people over Ladybug and Cat Noir, much less that those three people are actual masters after about two months at best. Maybe they got to train in Bunnix's Burrow? After all, she's not doing anything else to stop the end of the world other than sending four people over to Paris. This whole sequence really highlights how bland the other heroes of this universe are. If they're not slacking off when they're needed, they're criminally underdeveloped because there's a slim chance they'll get spin-offs to flesh them out.

But I think the biggest issue me and other people have with this finale is the resolution. In what is easily one of the most baffling decisions the show has made, Bug Noire doesn't defeat Monarch, and Monarch gets to make his wish. I don't care how many times the writers technically say she won because she beat him in a fight. Gabriel backstabbed her at the last minute and got her Miraculous to make his wish. Yeah, he died, but he succeed in achieving his goal, never faced any real consequences, didn't get any closure with his son (much less apologize for abusing him), told Marinette to lie about the monster he was to him, and was turned into a martyr with a statue made of the same things he used to control the world.

This ending infuriates me because it not only makes Marinette out to be a terrible hero for failing to do the one thing she was chosen to do (get the Butterfly Miraculous back), but it also ultimately makes Gabriel out to be a decent person even though he destroyed and recreated the world. All Marinette did was take credit for saving the world, and even then, Gabriel got more celebration in the end. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen! She got outsmarted by an abusive parent and didn't even get a new statue in her honor!

But the most damning thing of all this is the fact that this finale retroactively makes everything that's happened over the last five seasons completely pointless. If Gabriel making a wish wasn't as bad as it was supposed to be, why didn't Ladybug and Cat Noir let him borrow their Miraculous? Why make the stakes this high if you're going to downplay the impact of a madman recreating the world in his own image? Follow-up question: why make the stakes this high if the wish being made is ultimately shown to have huge benefits for society? In an attempt to wrap things up with a happy ending, the writers accidentally made the conflict completely meaningless.

That's why this resolution is the ultimate example of the writers refusing to allow any major changes to happen. If they're willing to treat the end of the universe as less important than Ms. Bustier becoming mayor, why should we assume they'll ever take their story seriously? For God's sake, every character you know and love is essentially dead, and we're supposed to act like that isn't a big deal? That's how you wanted to end the show originally? Then again, at least they tried to resolve something, unlike the Love Square. We still haven't gotten a reveal, and I don't think we ever will at this point. These writers will drag out the story until the show stops becoming profitable, which won't be for a long time.

And with that, I am officially done with Season 5. Honestly, after having to rewatch this season again, I'm not sure if it's even worth giving Season 6 a shot. There's nothing to look forward to, and Lila becoming the main villain isn't really appealing to me. At the very least, I have the movie review to look forward to, meaning I can watch something good for a change.