#I even have the ending figured out someone stop me from starting yet another fic pls help

[evil-ontheinside]

Can I stop making up weirdly specific and totally unnecessary aus please? I do not need a byler Heidi au I am actually very well stocked with lots of other aus in my docs thank you

[saberlight1]

exes and oh’s — billy the kid

pairing: billy bonney x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of violence, Y/N usage, established relationship, possessive!billy, arguments, standard billy the kid warnings.

authors note: im starting to think i have a problem.. 3 fics in one day lmfao. this one was based off of this request— thank you anon. i hope you all enjoy this one <33

masterlist

Ever since the day Billy had asked you to be his, he had thought the constant bugging of men around you would come to an end. But it seemed to be that the Bonney man only noticed those men’s stares towards you even more.

He sat at the bar you currently worked as he watched yet another man eye you from the corner of the room. It made his blood boil, his knuckles turning white from the harsh grip on his shot glass.

“Baby, leave the glass alone.” You teased with that charming smile that made him weak in the knees. “It ain’t done nun’ to ya,”

He put it down, your soft southern accent making his anger simmer down in a instant. “Sorry, honey.”

“What’s got you starin’ daggers over there?” You re-poured his now empty glass with whiskey.

“Them men starin’ at you.” His eyes darkened as he looked at you through his brows, his fingertips circling the rim of the shot glass.

Your tongue darted out across your bottom lip at his admission, his words making a deep want towards your outlaw settle in your gut knowing how protective he was of you.

“They can look all they want, darlin’.” You tried to ease his anger with a gentle voice. “You’re the only one that I’d ever let touch me—you know that.”

“It’s not you I don’t trust.” He murmurs as he leans back, his eyes boring into yours.

“Hey, foxy..” One of the men he was talking about now stood in front of you, slurring his words. “You’re mighty fine, mind if we.. talk somewhere privately?” He winked, making you want to throw up. “I’d love to see how you look under them fine clothes of yours,”

You looked him up and down in disgust. “I’m alright, sir. Got someone else in mind for tonight,” You looked at Billy from the corner of your eye, your cowboy smirking up at you. You sighed as you went to grab the drunken man’s glass to refill—he was still a customer after all.

His grueling grip caught your wrist before you could even grab the glass—almost pulling you over the bar.

“You little bitch, can’t take a real man, huh?” He spat as you let out a yelp, trying to get out of his grasp.

“Back the fuck off.” Billy’s menacing figure appeared from beside the man, throwing the man back by his shoulder, causing him to fall on his ass.

He groaned, but was back on his feet within seconds. “The fuck it mean to you, huh? I wan’ her, so she’s mine.”

The second the man finished his sentence, Billy’s fast fist made contact with his jaw hard, the man being back to his spot on the floor. “Don’t you ever fuckin’ say those words about her.” He hissed, leaning down to place more punches to the man’s bloodied face. You watched in a mixture of horror and admiration—mostly admiration.

The man below him only let out a cackle in return. “Oh, I see. She’s your whore,” He spat blood into Billy’s face, and you swore the whole room stopped at his words.

Billy’s cocked back arm stopped at his words, and within seconds his pistol was pointed at the man’s forehead. “What did you just say?” He yelled. “I’ll fuckin’ kill you—”

You grabbed his forearm, pulling him back up. “Billy, please—” He turned to you, panting as you tried to calm that wild look in his eye. “That piece of shit ain’t worth it, c’mon, baby.” Your eyes flickered between his, and after a moment, he sighed before relenting and putting the gun away.

“Yeah, gotta get your bitch to sort out your favors—” The man continued to talk shit, but Billy cut him off with a swift kick to the ribs.

“Shut the fuck up.” Billy rasped out, looking down upon the man.

“C’mon,” You pulled his hand, taking him to the room in the back. You were glad it was around last call—the bar being mainly empty. You sat him down on some old crates before you turned to grab the spare med-kit you had hidden back there months prior.

Once you had everything ready, you held your hand out, signaling Billy to hand you his cut and bruised knuckles. He did, knowing better than to argue with you on the matter.

Your heart sank in your chest when you first saw them. “Billy, you’ve gotta stop gettin’ into fights over me.” You whispered, your eyes not leaving his hand.

His other hand reached out to angle your jaw so your eyes would met his. “Darlin’, I’m never gon’ stop fightin’ for you. You know that.” He shook his head with a smile. “He ain’t even get a lick in—I’m fine.”

“I know you can handle yourself.” You mutter in reply. “I just don’t like seein’ you hurt. Regardless of how bad—I don’t like it. Nor do I like watchin’ you put yourself in danger for me.” You retort with a pointed look.

His gaze lowered. “Now, lady, let’s not pretend you haven’t done the same. I’ve witnessed some pretty crazy cat fights after hours at the boardin’ house,” He teased, his hand now cupping your jaw.

You sighed, trying to fight back the smile that threatened to break free. “Jus’ please, be careful.”

“Always am.” He leaned forward to kiss the frown off your face, his hands sliding down your body in order to squeeze your hips.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, drawing him closer to your body as you smiled against his lips.

He pulled back, leaning his forehead onto yours. You both sat there for a couple of moments, enjoying the comfortable silence.

You placed one last kiss to his plump lips. “Alright, let me see that hand of yours.” You asked, and when he placed it into yours, you got to work. You disinfected and bandaged it to ensure it wouldn’t get an infection. “That should do it,” You whispered as you finished tying the cloth, leaning down to press a kiss to his knuckles. “Thank you for defendin’ me, honey.”

You swore that even in the darkness of the room you were currently in that you could see his cheeks turn a light shade of pink. “I’m always gon’ defend you, baby.” He whispered, pulling you up by your hand to place you in his lap, his arms slithering around you as he placed a kiss to your cheek. He went quiet for a moment before he turned to grab something. You looked at him questionably when you saw that glint in his eye.

He smirked as he placed his signature hat onto your head. “There.” He admired his work as he fixed your hair, styling it to compliment the hat. “That should tell all those fuckers that you’re mine.”

Your teeth sunk into his bottom lip at his words as your eyes flickered between his. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” You whispered, the tip of his hat hitting his head as you leaned in to reconnect your lips again.

He didn’t mind—he thought it looked better on you anyways.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Unbreak My Heart ~ BC

WORD COUNT:2.8K

GENRE: NON-Idol Au, feelings of not being good enough, chan walking out with no explanation, comfort from Seungmin, breakup fic, angsty with soft?ending. I had to make someone the bad guy I’m sorry 

PAIRING: Chan x Fem!Reader 

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

A/N: Hope this is okay that I did it non-idol, i figured it would fit better x

The begging you'd been doing for days had finally stopped, your calls were going straight to the answerphone and there was no getting through to your boyfriend who had just upped and left you without an explanation. God, you don't even think he expected you to wake up and find him leaving in the middle of the night without any explanation. He'd looked genuinely surprised to see you awake as he zipped up the final bag he'd packed up,

Where are you going? Do you have a work trip? Do you want me to make your favourite meal for when you come home?

Sobs broke out from your throat as you remembered the way Chan just stared down at you with a blank stare, staring straight through you as if the two of you had never even met before. You felt so stupid looking back on the way you'd acted, of course, he was leaving you but you'd been too blind to see it. You figured he was joking around or really had to go on a work trip, you never expected him to walk away from everything the two of you had built together, 

Chan? Where are you going? You're scaring me now, it's not April Fools...

You could still remember the shake in your voice as you called out for him as he got into his car and drove off in the middle of the night. You'd expected him to come back and tell you it was some stupid prank, that he was only joking around and he loved you but you were left with nothing.

You walked through the hallway, your skin iced cold as you stared around at the house you had once called home, memories flooding back to you as you took in the rooms around you.

Chan was everywhere inside this house, it was your home...The one you were planning to start a family in and bring his friends to but now it was nothing. A few walls with a roof over the top to stop any hurt from coming inside so why did it feel as though your world was being torn apart bit by bit. 

Tears streamed down your face as you sank down onto the floor and began to cry once again, your arms wrapping around you as you clung onto one of the only shirts of Chan's you'd had left. Feeling everything all again at once as you whimpered to yourself, every time you closed your eyes you saw him leaving all over again watching him walk away from you as if you were nothing more than someone he'd passed by in the night.

The dam had burst and there was no turning back as you cried against the cold, hard tile of the floor and let your broken sobs turn into a huge breakdown.

You wanted him to come back and you didn't care that he'd hurt you, you needed him to come back and take back the tears you'd shed for him and to just hold you again in his big arms.

Please Chan, whatever it is I can change. I can do better.

The last voicemail you left still bounced around in your head as you let out a choked cry, your eyes screwed shut and you forced yourself up from the floor, heading toward the bathroom, you needed to shower you felt gross as you sat there in three days in the same shirt.

You turned the taps on the shower, watching the glass fill with steam as you stared down at the floor, blinking as you tried to take some calming breaths. It was almost dark out which meant it had been yet another day without Chan here and you were going to have to go to sleep soon...Or at least get into bed soon. 

The nights were the worst part about all of this, you laid in your huge bed waiting for him to walk through the door and undo all of the pain he'd done. To crawl into bed beside you and kiss the tears away that he'd caused but it never happened. If you'd managed to get a little sleep every time you woke up you expected to find him there, that this was all some cruel nightmare you were having but life wasn't that kind to you. 

As soon as the heat of the water hit your skin you didn't even hiss or reach up to change it to a cooler setting you just let it scold your skin, figuring you needed it to wash away the feel of Chan's touch. 

"Yn?!" Seungmin's voice shook as he walked into the bathroom to find you crying, crying wasn't the right word, bawling your eyes out on the shower floor wearing a towel. It was as if you'd tried to get out of the shower and stopped yourself and just laid there letting the water hit you.

"C-Chan?" You sobbed out, but as soon as your eyes locked onto his employee you sobbed once more, and Seungmin felt the pit of his stomach sink as he walked toward the shower cubicle, hissing when the water hit his skin.

"Are you trying to get sick?! This is freezing!" Sometime between getting in the shower and sitting there for hours, the boiler had run out of gas but you didn't even move. You figured it was your punishment for letting Chan walk away without fighting for him harder, you should have run after him or chased after his car. Your mind had twisted you to be the bad guy in all of this, clearly, you hadn't been good enough for Chan and that was why he'd left you behind.

"Why did he go? W-Where is he?" Your eyes met Seungmins as he swallowed the lump in his throat, seeing you like this was breaking his own heart and he couldn't stand to see you like this. Chan was his boss first but you were also his friend, not to mention the woman he was in love with and he'd inadvertently hurt since Chan had done this for him.

It was stupid looking back on it now, something Seungmin wished he could take back as he stared down at you sobbing into his arms,

"I don't know," He lied, turning off the water and helping you up from the floor, noticing the way your legs trembled as he took you toward your bedroom. He sat you down on the edge of the bed and you just stared at Seungmin as he walked toward your wardrobe,

"You need something warm," He said to you, filtering through your wardrobe trying to find you something that looked thick enough to warm you up.

"He's your boss, where is he?" You ignored the way he was trying to care for you, right now you couldn't give a shit if you got hypothermia maybe that would be enough to bring Chan back to you.

"Do you have any jumpers?" Seungmin grumbled ignoring your questions, he knew exactly where he was but he was under strict instructions not to tell you anything.

"How could he break my heart like this?" Your voice trembled as you sniffled a little, your nose starting to run as you let out a whimper.

"Here, I found this jumper," Seungmin said triumphantly as he turned around holding out a black hoodie, your eyes stilled on the fabric he was holding as fresh tears began to brim to the surface. 

"It's Channies." It was one of the first ones you'd bought for him back when you first started dating all of those years ago, he told you it was his favourite simply because you'd been the one to buy it for him.

"I'm sure I can find something else-" He couldn't finish what he was saying since you snatched the clothing from his hand and dropped the soaking towel you were wearing to change into it. Seungmin was quick to turn around and stare up at the ceiling to avoid staring at your body since you clearly didn't care what he saw.

Since arriving Seungmin had ordered you food only for it to turn cold since you refused to touch it, questioning Seungmin every chance you had about what Chan was doing but he avoided it. Moving onto a different topic or making you hot drinks to try and avoid the subject but it was almost midnight and he'd expected you to fall asleep and the questions would stop.

It would stop the dull ache he was feeling side of him, the crushing guilt he had since he'd been the reason for Chan walking out of your life and away from you, 

"Did he say anything to you about leaving?" You sniffled, looking up from the mug of hot chocolate and staring at Seungmin whose eye had just twitched,

"No." He was lying and you could tell, your eyes narrowed as you stared back at him,

"Has he been at work?" Your question had once again been met with silence which was a clear sign Chan had been to work and Seungmin didn't want to lie to you about it anymore.

How could he go to work as if you weren't hurting for him? As if you weren't begging for him to come back home every chance that you had.

"Is he...is he even upset?" Dread filled your chest as you sat there staring at Seungmin. Did Chan walk away because he didn't love you anymore? Was that how easy it was to just lose feelings for someone?

"He said he loved me, how could he just walk away from all of this? Everything we'd created together." Sobs broke free again and Seungmin let out a small sigh, he wasn't going to be able to sit here much longer.

"Yn-"

"We were planning a family you know...We were going to start trying for a baby..." You stared down at the bed sheets, you hadn't changed them since he left in fear you'd never get to smell Chan again. Seungmin looked over at the door, he'd not heard about you planning on having kids yet. He'd just been thinking of his own selfish reasons for you and Chan breaking up,

"Is that what scared him off?" You sobbed, wiping your eyes on the sleeves of the hoodie.

"I-If it is! Tell him, I don't want kids...Tell him I just want him back. I can't have anyone but him," You broke down once again and Seungmin took the cup from your hands, putting it onto the bedside cabinet not wanting you to spill it and hurt yourself.

"Yn, I don't-"

"How could he just leave me in all this pain?" For the first time all night, Seungmin looked into your eyes and stared back at you, he came in to check on you and to try and get you to move on with him but a blind man could see there was no moving on from Chan for you.

"You should get some sleep," He whispered, pulling the sheets back for you to help you get under them and you nodded, laying down on the bed and staring at him.

"Will you stay? I can't sleep alone again..." You admitted before Seungmin laid down on the bed, on top of the sheets this time watching as you cuddled into the sheets and his guilt felt worse. 

"This was your idea, you're the one who blackmailed me into this." Chan spat out, your heart going into overdrive as you threw yourself out of the bed coming to a stop at your bedroom door. Seungmin and Chan were standing in the hallway together, both of them failing to see you and watching them speak to one another.

"I- I'm sorry, I thought-" Seungmin tried to speak but Chan was quick to shut him down. For a week Chan had done everything he could to throw himself into work and to forget about you but it had been damn near impossible with you calling and begging for him to come back.

He had to sit and listen to your voicemails and you blamed yourself for him walking away when it had nothing to do with you, or Chan for that fact but instead the man he had once called a friend.

"You made me ruin everything and now you're sorry?" He scoffed a little at him shaking his head.

"I broke her to pieces and I'm meant to waltz back in there and pretend it never happened?!" He was whispering and yelling at him all at the same time, your heart thumping harder as you watched the two of them debate back and forth,

"I didn't tell you to break her heart," Seungmin grumbled, folding his arms over his chest.

"No. You just pushed me into a corner so I had no choice."

"What's going on?" You stepped out onto the landing and stared at Chan who appeared to look a lot worse than you did right now. His hair was dishevelled, the bags under his eyes had their own bags not to mention the five o'clock shadow that was forming on his skin which really didn't suit him.

"Yes...Seungmin. Explain to her what's going on." Chan spat out harshly as you stared at Seungmin, waiting for him to speak but he just stared back at you in complete silence until he sighed.

You listened to them explain everything from the start, how Seungmin had been in love with you for years and had basically blackmailed Chan into stepping away from you with a threat to have him fired. The heartbreak you'd been feeling turned into anger as you stared at the two of them, Chan swallowed nervously as he stared back at you,

"And neither of you thought to ask me what I thought about all of this?" You stared at Seungmin who said nothing,

"You never thought to ask me what I thought of you Seungmin before you had Chan drag my heart from my chest?" You stepped toward them both and Seungmin stepped back, hitting the wall with his back as he let out a shakey whine.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, when he'd threatened Chan he hadn't thought about the years you and he had together he was just thinking of his own Selfish heart. He figured you'd get over Chan and jump into his waiting arms but after spending half a night with you it had become clear you were never going to move on from Chan and he'd called him, begging him to come back to you.

"Sorry isn't going to fix this." You hissed at him,

"Yn-" Chan went to say your name but you turned to stare at him so fast he was afraid you were going to get whiplash.

"Don't you even think you're off the hook either!" You stared at him, your heart racing as tears welled up in his eyes.

"Out." You grumbled at Seungmin who didn't need to be told twice before exiting the house, slamming the door behind him and leaving you in complete silence with Chan.

It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop, neither of you spoke as you stared at one another in silence.

"How bad was the blackmail?" Was the first thing you asked to break the silence.

"I would have been fired but it was more about what it was...It would have been leaked," You stared at Chan as he reached out to touch your cheek your skin melting against his touch as you whimpered a little.

"It was the CCTV footage from my office, a steamy night between you and me and I wouldn't let him release it." You nodded a little before throwing yourself into his arms. A rational person would have punished him for walking away from you, making him grovel before forgiving him but you'd been away from him for far too long for that.

"Take me to bed...I need sleep," You begged, Chan began to walk with you toward your bedroom, the two of you sinking into the sheets as if no time had passed between you. Chan's hand softly ran up and down your spine, soothing you as you breathed in the scent of his cologne, 

"You ever do that shit again, I'll chop off your balls and feed them to you," You threatened him as he let out a breathy chuckle, kissing the top of your head and promising to never do it again.

It hadn't taken long for Seungmin to quit working for Chan, deleting the video of you and Chan together and removing himself from your lives. While you'd forgiven Chan for breaking your heart he still made it up to you every day. Each day a rose was delivered to the house with a note giving you a reason why he loved you, along with date invitations and small reminders of him being with you. 

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[sweatervest-obsessed]

Okay.. hear me out the song 'Stick Season' by Noah Kahan... for a fic like her and spence break up and she can't move on from him...

Oh you mean my FAVORITE NOAH KAHAN SONG???

Absolutely girlboss.

It ended up being 3.5k, so please please enjoy!!

(it's a gn! fic btw)

You must have had yourself a change of heart like Halfway through the drive Because your voice trailed off exactly as you passed my exit sign Kept on drivin' straight and left our future to the right

Everyone in the BAU hated letting Spencer drive. It was a fact of the universe. It wasn’t because he was bad at it, in fact he was quite a good driver. But whenever he would drive, it was constant chatter, constant rambling, and sometimes, it would be in between NPR segments where Spencer would correct someone or pause to discuss interesting facts that he knew. 

So when Spencer offered to drive the team to the hotel across town, no one had the guts to say no. It was some random town in Vermont, in the middle of October, some weird string of murders throwing another small town into disarray. He was in the middle of describing the science behind why certain leaves change into certain colors when his voice died out.

They were at one of two stop lights in town and they were stopped at one of them. Spencer was looking diagonally across at some random coffee shop, and Derek could not, for the life of him, figure out why Spencer was looking over there. 

“Reid? Hello.” 

“It’s her.” 

“Who?” Derek followed his line of sight again and realized what Spencer was looking at, well, who he was looking at. 

You. 

“Oh my god. Isn’t that…” 

Spencer nodded his head. 

“Why is she…” 

Spencer just stared at you. “I don’t know.” 

You were now leaving the coffee shop, cup in hand and small brown bag in the other. Spencer could probably guess what was in both. 

“Green light Reid.” 

The two of them started to move again, but neither of them spoke on the way to the hotel. It was almost unbelievable that they hadn’t seen you in over two years and yet here you were, in some random town that had a serial killer. 

Now I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can't face And memories are somethin' even smoking weed does not replace And I am terrified of weather 'cause I see you when it rains Doc told me to travel, but there's COVID on the planes

“No no. Lucille. You don’t understand. He was like, nerdy hot. And I fucked up big time.” 

Lucille snorted and handed you the blunt in her hand. “My love, my life. I bet you, he was the problem.”

You scoffed and took a hit. “Yeah right.” 

Lucille raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “You’re not still in love with the guy are you?” 

“When you put it like that it makes me sound pathetic.” 

“Oh girl no, you are, aren't you.” 

You sighed and took another hit—a long inhale this time to compensate. 

“Sweetie, you are WAY too good for him.” 

You laughed. “Mr three PhDs, four Bachelors, and FBI? Yeah. I don’t think so.” 

“Weren’t you Mrs FBI?” 

“That’s Miss FBI to you. Mrs is reserved for happy married stupid people.” You grumbled and closed your eyes. 

“Wow.” 

“Wow What.” 

“He was really the one wasn’t he.” 

You nodded. “I really thought….god I’m so stupid.” You stood up and started pacing along the porch of your house. 

Once you and Spencer had broken up, you needed to get out of there. There had to be somewhere where he couldn’t touch you, couldn’t find you. So you closed your eyes and pointed to a random spot on the map. Then when you realized you pointed to Las Vegas, you sat down and wrote down what you knew about Spencer, then tried to find somewhere that he had the lowest percentage of going. 

And Fairlee seemed like the right place. There was nothing for him out here. 

Except for you. 

But Spencer didn’t feel that way. Not anymore at least.

You had taken up teaching, obtaining your teaching certificate up in Vermont and becoming one of ten teachers in the high school (which supported any child in a half hour radius). 

It wasn’t hunting down serial killers, but it was still fulfilling. 

That’s how you met Lucille. She was another teacher, in need of a roommate, and the rest is history. 

“You’re floating away again.” 

You snapped back to the conversation. “Sorry. Just. Really thought we were going to get married and be with each other and shit but.” 

“But?” 

“He wasn’t ready. You’d think three years knowing one another and being friends, and then another three years of dating would, you know. Add up to something.” 

“I’m sorry sweetie.” Lucille took your hand and squeezed it tightly. “He doesn’t deserve you.” 

“Yeah…maybe, I don’t know.” 

She squeezed it again. “Tonight’s the night Damian invited us all down to the bar to hang out, I know we said no but…might as well get free drinks out of a guy who will never get the hint. Free booze, boost of ego. You’re young, you’re hot.” 

“I see what you’re doing.” You smiled down at her. “But it’s raining and I’m not in the mood to get soaking wet just from walking from the house to the car then the car to the bar….”

“Pleaseeeee.” 

Just as you were about to answer, a pair of headlights turned onto your driveway. 

You’d know those stupid fucking headlights anywhere. 

“Who do we know that drives a black suburban?” 

Lucille shrugged. “I don’t think we know anyone who has one in town, why? Is that what the car is?” 

You nodded, your stomach dropping. 

“Luce. Hide the weed.” 

“Why, it's not Tom and you know he’s over here every—-“

“Now. Luce.” 

She furrowed her brows as the headlights stopped in front of the house. She quickly grabbed everything and went into the house. 

You stood on the porch, in your pajamas pants, and a sweatshirt, hands in the front porch. 

The car turned off and you watched as three figures got out of the car and walked up to the porch, freezing as they looked at you, the rain pouring down on them. 

“Why are you here Hotch?” 

The man was frozen,and he looked over at Emily, who was just as baffled to see you. 

“Y/n?” 

“Why are you here?” You asked again. 

“Why are you here?” 

“This is my home Em.” You stepped back a couple of steps and gestured for them to come up onto the porch so they don’t have to stand in the rain anymore. 

Spencer was silent the whole time, not taking his eyes off of you. 

The three of them moved up the porch and went towards the door, but you blocked them. 

“You need a warrant if you want to enter my house, Hotch. What are you doing here.” 

“We need to speak to Lucille Walkner.” 

“Why.” 

Emily raised her eyebrows, and crossed her arms. She was used to how stubborn you were, but being on the receiving end of it was something she was not a fan of. 

“It’s in regards to the string of murders y/n.” 

You raised your eyebrows. “I can guarantee you that I have been with Lucille every moment of every day for the past two weeks.” 

“We’re not accusing her, we’re just asking—“

You cut Emily off. “Asking her questions. Yeah. I know how this goes. In case you forgot or something. It hasn’t been that long. Why do you need to speak to her.” 

“Because she was the last person seen with the most recent victim.” 

You looked at Spencer for the first time since he got here. “So was I. But somehow you failed to mention that as well. You’re losing your grip, Doctor.” 

The group had never heard your voice so flat, so strict, so full of disdain. It was easy for you to treat him like he was the villain. He felt like one. He was one. 

“Y/n.” 

You broke your staring contest with Spencer and looked over at Hotch. “Get a warrant and come back tomorrow.” 

And with that you walked into your house and locked the door behind you. Feeling a bit more bitter than usual, you turned off the porch light too.

They all stood out there. Dumbfounded. 

And I love Vermont, but it's the season of the sticks And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed And it's half my fault, but I just like to play the victim I'll drink alcohol 'til my friends come home for Christmas And I'll dream each night of some version of you That I might not have, but I did not lose Now your tire tracks and one pair of shoes And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do

When the BAU showed up at your door with the proper paperwork the next morning, both you and your roommate were at work, twenty minutes away. 

Your sense of humor still intact since you managed to leave a sticky note for them: 

At work. home by 4.

But that didn’t stop the caped crusaders of the BAU. 

When they showed up at the school to interview you and your roommate, Lucille went first, recounting the night all three of you went out to one of three bars in the town, and then when you offered to drive her home, she insisted on calling her own roommate. When you watched her get into her roommate's car, the both of you went home. 

When you recounted the same exact story, you both were released for the day. 

“Heard you were a pain in the ass yesterday.” 

You stopped in the hallway and turned around, facing Derek Morgan. “What do you want, Agent.” 

“Woah woah what’s with the formalities.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Derek. I’m really not in the mood. I fit the victimology of the asshole on a murder spree, and the team acted like I didn’t fucking know that. I’ve also realized you haven’t connected the fact that all of them are dating or sleeping with the police force.” 

“All? We only knew two of the five—“

“Because half of them don’t want to admit that they’re cheating on their wives, and the other half don’t want to admit they’re dating anyone regardless of marital status. Not a single one of the victims were married.”

Derek just stared at you. “Touchy subject?” 

You closed your eyes. “I still have a gun license Derek. Don’t make me use it.” 

“Too soon?” 

“Yeah Derek. Too soon.” You sighed as he pulled you into a hug. 

“We miss you y’a know. It’s not the same.” 

“I’m sure.” You squeezed him tightly. 

“And I’m serious. We haven’t found anyone nearly as good as you have been.” He whispered, kissing your head. “Your desk is still empty. Hotch won’t let anyone sit there. I think he’s hoping you’d come back. I think we all are.” 

“I can’t even look at him and it’s been two years” you whispered trying not to cry. 

“I know.” He just squeezed you. “I know.” 

“God I just….”

Derek pulled you into an empty classroom the second he felt your body tense up. There was one thing you hated more than crying, and it was crying in public. Once the door to the classroom was closed, he pulled you back into the hug, letting your tears pour down his shoulder.

“God I thought I’d never have to see you people again.” 

Derek chuckled. “Clearly you didn’t read your contract. It’s required that you’re supposed to see me at least seven times a year and if you don’t, I hunt you down.” 

You laughed through your tears and sat down on one of the desks. “You wish.” 

“I do.” 

“Be serious Derek.” 

“I am.” 

You sighed and looked up at him. “Well. Now you know where I am so. Come and visit me I guess.” 

“Oh I plan on it gorgeous.” 

You used the sleeve of your sweater to wipe away some of the tears still clinging to your cheeks. 

“He misses you too.” 

“Derek….”

He knew it ws dangerous territory, but he had to let you know—He needed you to know how it was affecting everyone, even though it’s been two years. “He does.” 

“Why would you tell me that Derek.”  

“You have to–

“Have to what Derek. I don’t wan—that’s a lie. What I would fucking give to be back in DC; back at the FBI. But I can’t do it Derek. I can’t go back.” 

“But–”

“No.” You backed away from him, out of his arms. “I’m not going back.”

“Please.” Derek watched as your back straightened and your eyes hardened. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore. You were just starting to move on. Fuck. He watched as you closed yourself off again. 

“Do you need anything else agent or can I go.” 

“Y/n…”

“Then goodbye Agent Morgan.” 

So I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad No, I am no longer funny 'cause I miss the way you laugh You once called me forever now you still can't call me back

Unexpectedly, but expectedly, the killer was caught. He was some sort of religious nut who had decided that “immoral sinners” be put in your place. 

That was something you did not miss: the misogynistic murderers. 

But the BAU was getting ready to leave. You were grateful that they had come and protected the community you had grown so close to, but the thought of them knowing where you were made you nervous. 

You knew Penelope most likely tracked you from time to time, and you weren’t trying to live completely off the grid/untraceable. But seeing them in person, watching them run around your town, was nerve-wracking. 

Seeing Spencer fucked you up the most though. 

He looked okay; or better than you at least. He was completely and utterly okay, and it bugged the shit out of you. How could he be okay, how could he move on and be happy without you, while you are stuck still trying to locate the remaining pieces of your shattered heart.

To Spencer, you were a wonderful experience. But to you, Spencer was everything. 

The BAU had left, no goodbyes were in order since you had fulfilled your goal of attempting to burn every bridge you had. It was painful, but you just couldn't help it. They reminded you of Spencer. Everything reminded you of Spencer. 

Lucille watched as you slowly transformed back into that lost person from two years ago. Your smile never reached your eyes. You drank just enough to be concerning, but not enough to continuously push the boundaries of alcoholism. Your face was pale. You never laughed or cracked jokes any more. 

All you could do was think of Spencer. Waking up next to him, his arms around your waist. The smell of his apartment, the rides to work, the glances from your desk to his desk. It was all just too painful. 

There were moments where you would pick up your phone and sometimes it felt like the world was against you. Derek posted a picture from some sort of day off, and suddenly you didn’t follow him anymore. Or, if you opened NPR, Doctor Spencer Reid was the headliner in a speaker series at Georgetown in blah blah blah. So you stopped listening to the radio. 

Every since he stepped out of the car in your drive you, you’ve wanted to call him. You’ve wanted to hear him speak to you like he did, to love you like he did. You wanted to call him and hear him apologize and tell you everything was going to be okay and this was all just a big misunderstanding and you were his forever. 

But you had a feeling that if you called, he wouldn’t pick up. 

Oh, that'll have to do My other half was you I hope this pain's just passin' through But I doubt it

One Year Later…

Time flies. Leaves change. Life moves on. 

But suddenly it's back to October and you find yourself in a new town, somewhere completely different. Another fresh start. Maybe this one will stick. 

But then you get a call.  

And it’s from Erin Strauss, offering you your job back, and your hesitation gave her all of the information she wanted to hear. You had three days to make a decision. 

Do you continue to run from place to place, hoping and praying that maybe someday you’d be able to feel like you deserved to be loved again. Hoping that someday someone might actually want to stay. They might want you to stay. 

Do you stay in this new town, and get attached to the people, making new friends, reminding you of the old ones, and hoping that it will be enough to fill the holes in your skin. 

Do you continue to teach. Do you continue to shape minds even though it’s not something you had ever dreamed of doing. Especially when it feels like you’re trying to force your body into loving something it doesn’t. 

Or

Do you go back to the FBI–the BAU.

Do you ignite the flame in your chest and let yourself enjoy the chase. LEt yourself be happy with your job and treasure every moment you get to catch the bad guy. 

Do you accept the job and move back to the desk you belong at, surrounded by your friends. Once again in a building you call home, letting your guard down for the first time in three years. 

Do you let your guard down and talk to Spencer and watch yourself undo all of the progress you had made. Watch as your resolve crumbles and your heart aches and you can;t even breathe around him because it hurts to see him. 

Do you give up and follow him around like some lost puppy and beg for him to take you back so maybe you’ll be able to melt your waxen heart and be happy again. 

You don’t take the job. You never hear from Erin Strauss again. 

And I love Vermont, but it's the season of the sticks And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed And it's half my fault, but I just like to play the victim I'll drink alcohol 'til my friends come home for Christmas And I'll dream each night of some version of you That I might not have, but I did not lose Now your tire tracks and one pair of shoes

Sometimes in your sleep, you can see what your wedding would have looked like. The venue, the florals, your outfits and shoes. Your closest friends and family by your side as you commit your soul to be bound to his. 

But every time you get to the I Do’s, Spencer says yes. 

It hurts because you never even made it that far. 

You didn’t even get an engagement ring. 

All you got were pitiful looks and sympathetic glances while Spencer rambled on about how much he didn’t understand marriage or want children–not that you did, but you would have liked for it to have been a discussion between the two of you. 

You would have liked a lot of things. 

Sometimes, in your dreams, Spencer proposes. 

It never leaves your mind, watching as he publicly declares his love for you. Apparently, that was too much to ask for. 

And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do Have to do

The pain of waiting to be loved feels like you’ve but split down the middle, letting yourself melt apart. The skin, no matter how hard you try, can never be stitched back together, and even if you manage to get some back, it scars over, reminding you for the rest of your life how unloveable you feel. 

Maybe you’ll get lucky and someday you can learn to live with never being truly whole again. 

Since Spencer owns half of you, and you will never be whole without him.

Part 2

[cantareincminor]

SxF Chapter 102 -- Love and War

As personally tragic as the current Spy x Family manga arc is, I feel it's one of the most powerful yet. To me, it's on par with Twilight's backstory, maybe even surpassing it. It encases the themes of the senselessness of war and blind hatred of the "other" within a tale of star-crossed lovers whom the audience has come to care about as secondary characters. It carries subtle foreboding for our main characters, Twilight and Yor, though it's never directly stated. I hold out hope that at some point in a future chapter, Twilight or Yor will have a life-changing conversation with one of these wise elderly mentor figures, when one of them is at a personal low point and has to decide whether their (hopefully almost real by then) marriage is worth fighting for.

That is good storytelling. Richly layered like a Lady M cake.

One of the messages that struck me was the non-love triangle between Martha, Henry, and Lucia. It could have easily become a love triangle in another author's hands, or in a different genre. Or in a fanfic written by Becky Blackbell, lol. The panels of Martha's heart and dreams shattering into pieces after meeting Lucia were utterly devastating. It was her lowest point.

But she didn't stay there. She didn't seek revenge or to be a homewrecker (that's a no-no, young miss), she didn't fall into bitterness and break off all ties with Henry and Lucia, she didn't stop living her life. She danced ballet again even though her injuries from the war hindered her. She danced in tears, with a broken heart, but she still danced. And she danced with Henry and Lucia as her staunchest supporters in the audience. She didn't push their kindness away or close herself off from them.

The panels below moved me so much. The detail is small, but Lucia is crying. Tears of joy are falling down her face as she watches Martha dance on the stage.

Lucia came from a privileged family, one of the so-called "elites" that Becky quite hilariously disparages, but they were a family that sought to rebuild the country and heal people from the war. And that healing starts with individuals like Martha. Lucia had to have figured out at some point, whether directly or indirectly from Henry or Martha, that the two of them had a history together. That if not for the war, Henry very well may have become Martha's husband instead. Lucia might even have felt sad or guilty for being "that woman," an interloper between star-crossed lovers. She too had the chance to push Martha away or distance herself from her husband's past so as to feel more secure about herself. But she didn't do that. She embraced Martha with open arms and supported her dreams. She loved her as a friend, so deeply that she cried at her ballet performance. Martha loved her so deeply in return that even 15 years after her death, she continues to bring flowers to her grave. Not even Henry brought flowers in the end panels of this chapter.

This is the kind of love that heals nations after a devastating war. Even though the three people in this scenario are all Ostanians, this is still the same kind of love with the power to heal the deepest wounds. What wound can be deeper than losing the love of your life to someone else? And yet all three of them make the best of the situation and find the courage to reach out to each other instead of turning away, lashing out, or living in denial or unresolved bitterness.

Endo is showing us through the heartbreaking, heartwarming stories of these individual characters what the path to prevent the next war is. To be wounded by others and have our hearts broken, whether romantically or through betrayal by friends and family or through the callous actions of the ruling class, is an unavoidable part of life. But how we choose to react to that hurt makes all the difference.

This is why I made forgiveness and reconciliation the core theme of my fic Orpheus. To me, it remains the most powerful theme of all in storytelling, because it is the hardest thing for a human soul to do. It takes incredible courage, and it requires metaphorical death. To die to oneself, as Christ says, to take up the cross, the instrument of your own execution, and to pay the cost of someone else's wrongdoing even if you had no part in it. The alternative is to make the other person pay---which feeds the cycle of violence and retribution, at the most extreme on a national level---or to bury it deep inside and cut yourself off from a chance at real human relationships. All relationships involve risk. The deeper the relationship, the greater the risk.

I am so grateful for this magnificent arc in the manga. I can't wait to see what Endo has in store for us next, and how he will tie in the broader story of our main cast into the lessons from Martha and Henry's love. Because it's still love, even if they never acted on it romantically. Given their circumstances, it's an even purer love for the fact that they didn't.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Ride~ Jealousy

Pairing- Seonghwa x Named Reader

Word count- 5.8k

Includes- couple from Ride, angst, Seonghwa is jealous and is an idiot about it, fluff at the end, set during Guerilla era,

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13 @mknae-jongho @bykeynote @blueie-things

Gif Credit- Kyoungjo

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Seonghwa Masterlist

Seonghwa POV

"Seriously jagi?", I groan

"Yeah Hwa", she confirms

"But you always take my pictures. I don't want anyone else", I whine

"Baby it's not my choice. My manager wants her to take your pictures. She's new baby and he's testing her out"

"Yeah but why me? He knows about us, he knows you're my photographer, why is he taking you from me?"

She laughs, "Hwa, its just for this shoot ok? And my manager picked you because you're good at taking pictures. If she....doesn't do a good job, you'll still come out great because you're a natural at posing"

I scowl at her because she's complimenting me but at the same time I won't have her to oogle and be sexy for

That's why I'm so good at it because I see her behind the camera

And I tell her this so she knows

"Aww Hwannie. You don't have to try be sexy if you don't want to. You just are naturally. Just be you"

"You are so good at flattery jagi", I roll my eyes, "But fine. You owe me though"

She smiles, hugging me, "Ok baby. I'll do whatever you want tonight ok?"

I hug her back, nuzzling in her neck, "Yeah?"

She nods, "Yeah"

"Ride me?"

"Of course"

"69?"

"Sure baby", she agrees

"Fuck you in the shower?"

"Uh huh"

Ooo this is getting good

"Let me tie you up?"

She snorts, "Yeah Hwa. Fine"

"Mm ok", I laugh in her neck

"Good", she laughs, pulling back, kissing my cheek and I just smile at her

"I gotta go set up the cameras baby. I'll see you in a little bit"

I nod, "Ok jagi"

Bending down, I give her a soft kiss, then she leaves

I sigh, sitting down, waiting for the shoot to start

I'm not happy about this new girl taking my pictures

I don't want a photographer I don't know, someone who I don't know how they work

The photoshoot didn't start yet and I already want it to be over

--------------------------------

"Can you look up?", the girl asks

I try not to roll my eyes

That's all she says

Look up, look down, look to the side

She's not asking me to change poses or positions and I have to do it by myself

I have to figure out the best pose, the best way to angle my face, the look I should give

She's giving me no direction and she's not even saying the pictures are coming out good

I have no idea if they are

I have no idea if I'm doing the photo shoot concept

I want my jagi back

She's across the room, taking pictures of Yunho

I hear her telling him how to look, how to sit, directing him to the best light, what kind of look she wants him to give

She's acting like a professional photographer not like a person just taking pictures

Like this girl

And I'm so jealous that the guys get my baby while I'm stuck with this newbie

If anything she should have another photographer with her, showing her what to do

Or at least taking pictures along with her so I have some good ones

I look up, at the camera and she snaps a picture

I catch myself mid eye roll and I stop it, playing it off like I'm moving to pose

She just keeps taking the same angle over and over and I'm getting annoyed

I decide to lean back on my elbow, putting my other arm on my leg, turning my head to my profile

Once I hear the click of the camera, I move my head back for another shot

I look around after she takes the photo, figuring that I'm supposed to take pictures with the props I have

A flag and a mask

Kneeling down, I take the flag and put it over my shoulder, keeping the mask next to me

"Ok", she says, taking some pictures, "Uh the mask?"

I pick it up and hold it to my face when she says, "Uhh"

I look at her slightly confused, bring the mask down a little, unsure of what she wants me to do

God she just has to fucking talk and I'll do whatever to get this shit over with

"Uh yeah, you can put the mask back up"

I do, posing and letting her take more pictures

She walks around me taking more and at least she's moving instead of standing in front of me like she's been doing the whole time

Glancing back at Joanne, I see her taking pictures of Wooyoung

He's acting very sexy, giving her smoldering eyes and biting his lip

Like he's flirting with her

"How do I look?", he smirks

I don't hear her answer, as she moves taking pictures but he smiles widely

Did she say he looks good?

Hot?

Why is he smiling like that?

"As sexy as your boyfriend?"

I clench my jaw, getting so fucking angry and jealous

"Uh Seonghwa?"

I look back at the girl, forgetting I'm in the middle of a shoot

"Sorry", I say trying to get myself under control

"Can you pose?"

Seriously?

What the fuck does she think I've been doing?

"Yeah sure"

I stand up, leaving the flag on the floor

I stare at the camera, holding my hand up by my face, moving it a little at a time after every snap

I hear Wooyoung laughing and I glance over at him

He's moving the flag over her, laughing and asking her where she went

He slowly pulls the flag down, over her, joking and teasing her the whole time

Flirting with her

And I don't understand why she's going along with it

Why she's flirting with him too

She pushes the flag off her, then directs him to how she wants him to hold it

He puts the flag bar over both his shoulders, then raises his head giving her a puppy look as she takes picture after picture of him

I look down at the floor, breathing in, the rage that's in my body astounding me

I feel like I'm gonna beat the shit out of Wooyoung

What the fuck is he doing?

He knows she's mine, why is he flirting?

"I like that one", I hear him say

I lift my head, looking at them in anger

He's next to her, way too close, looking over her shoulder at the camera

I guess she's showing him his pictures

He just doesn't need to be that close to her

Again I'm wondering why she's not telling him to move or better yet, fuck off

And I'm so angry that she's not

Doesn't she know that I'm right here, I can see everything?

She should be telling him to back off

They continue talking and I had enough

She wants to flirt fine

I can too

And maybe she'll understand how I feel if she feels it herself

"Uh-", the girl says

"What's your name?", I ask

"Oh uh Jia"

"Pretty name", I say, smiling

Her cheeks blush

"I'm gonna use the flag again ok?"

She nods and I kneel down slowly, making sure I'm staring at her

She swallows, her hands shaking as she raises the camera

"Don't be nervous", I say slyly

She just nods

I pick up the flag, putting it back over my shoulder, my face still towards her and I smile widely

She gasps but takes some more pictures

I'm not even posing, what is she taking a picture of?

Standing up, I put the pole down and pretend to lose balance of it, knocking it against my head, the flag enveloping me

"Oh my god", she says, rushing to me

She pushes the flag off me as I steady the pole

"Are you ok?"

I nod, laughing, "Yea. I'm a little clumsy"

"Oh", she says

She tilts her head, then reaches out and moves my hair away from my face, her fingers lingering in the strands for a little too long, "You're hair is messed up"

And my skin fucking crawls

I don't want her to touch me

I'm good at flirting but I don't want to be doing it

I want to be flirting with my jagi, not some girl I don't care about

Still, I continue to do it

She has to know what I felt so she'll never do it again

I just smile at her again, "Thanks"

Jia smiles and it does absolutely nothing for me

She doesn't hold a candle to my baby

I just smile back and say, "I'm just gonna play around with this and you can take whatever pictures you want"

She nods, "Yeah ok"

I look at the flag, making sure I'm standing so she gets my profile as I move the flag around, pretending to be so interested in it

After a minute or two she says, "I think that's it"

Bending I put the flag down, straighten up and ask, "Can I see?"

"Oh uh sure. Yeah"

I walk over to her, standing as close to her as I possibly can without touching her

Her breathing gets heavier as I look over her shoulder

She tilts her head back, looking up at me, biting her lip

I just smile, uncomfortable with her head almost touching my shoulder

"Can I see the pictures", I ask again, dropping my voice to make it low

She nods, smiling then looking back down

She scrolls through the pictures slowly and I see that I do have some good pictures of me in there among some blurry ones and ok ones

Those are because of me

I did all the work while she just stood there

"That's a good one", I say, pointing out a really good shot

Joanne was right, I am good at posing

"Yeah you look very....uh....", she trails off

"Sexy?", I offer

"Uh yeah. Really uh hot", she agrees

I roll my eyes behind her head, so done with this shoot

"Well thanks for taking the pictures", I say

"Yeah sure. No problem"

Smiling, I nod then glance across the room

Wooyoung is there, glaring at me but I don't see Joanne anywhere

Glowering at him, I ignore him and leave the set, going back to the dressing room to look for her

Once I get there, I look but I don't see her there either

Where is she?

"Seonghwa!", Wooyoung yells, coming into the room

"What?", I snarl

"What the fuck were you doing with that photographer? Why were you flirting with her? In front of Jo too!", he growls, angry

He's angry?

He's calling me out?

Fine, I can do the same

"Me? What about you?"

He looks confused, "What about me?"

"Why were you flirting with my girlfriend?"

"I wasn't"

He is not going to lie to my face

"Then what do you call asking her how you look? If you're as sexy as me?"

Realization hits his face, then anger again

"I just said that to be dumb!"

"Yeah sure. You flirted with her. And when you were playing with the flag, putting it all over her?"

"What are you talking about? I was just playing around. You know me and her are friends and I do dumb things on set. I was trying to make it not boring, I wasn't flirting"

He's really gonna lie?

Not happening

I know what I saw

"You were basically standing on top of her when you were looking at the pictures!"

"No I wasn't!"

"I fucking saw you!", I roar, "I have fucking eyes. I saw everything and I saw her flirt with you too! She did it right in front of me, where I can see!"

He has no idea how much that hurts

He should know she's off limits but of course he has to be a man whore

"No she didn't! She didn't flirt with me!"

"I saw it!"

"No you idiot!", he shouts, "She told me to fuck off when I asked her if I'm as sexy as you. And I realized I went too far and I apologized"

"I didn't hear that", I snap

"She said it quietly so she didn't embarrass me. She told me to cut it the fuck out and fuck off. And with the flag? She was annoyed. She gave me a death glare when she shoved the flag off her and told me to stop fucking around. And when I was standing with her, I didn't notice how close I was. The screen on the camera is so small. She asked me to move back and she angled the camera closer to me so I could see them."

I didn't see any of that

But then again I didn't watch the entire time

"She never flirted with me and I didn't with her. I wouldn't do that. I was fucking around and she wasn't having it. She was actually upset because she couldn't take your pictures. I was trying to cheer her up.", he explains, "And you should know better. You know she loves you with her entire being. She would never flirt with anyone but you"

I swallow hard, realizing that I fucked up

I assumed she was flirting but she wasn't

"I'll ask again. Why did you flirt with that photographer?"

Shame fills me as I answer him

"Because I thought she was flirting with you"

"And you what? Did it to get back at her?"

I nod

"What are you fucking three years old?", he shouts

"No! I was upset and hurt and I wanted her to feel the same way. I wanted her to know what I was feeling"

God it sounds so stupid now that I say it out loud

I did act like a three year old

What the fuck is wrong with me?

"You fucking idiot. You flirting with that girl for nothing. You hurt Jo for nothing!"

I did and I need to apologize

"Where is she?"

"I don't know. But she was upset and she was crying"

Crying?

She was crying?

She's never supposed to cry because of me

Never

Fuck

"What?", I whisper

"Yeah. She was so sad but holding it together while you smiled at that girl. When you went on your knees in front of her looking at her like you wanted to fuck her. Until she saw that girl touch you. Your hair. Then she started crying and I was trying to assure her you were just being stupid. Then you got so close to that girl while looking at the photos. From where we stood it looked like you were gonna kiss her when she tilted her head back. I heard Jo suck in a breath and I knew she was waiting for you to kiss that girl. And to top it all off, she heard you ask that girl if you look sexy. She saw you smirk at her. That's when she ran away from the set and I don't know where she went"

Fuck

I'm such an idiot

Such a fucking idiot

Getting to my normal clothes, I pull out my cell phone and call her

I pace as I hold the phone to my ear

It doesn't even ring before going to voicemail

"Hi, I'm not here right now-"

"Fuck", I yell, hanging up the phone

Her phone is off

Her phone going right to voicemail is a tell tale sign that it's off

I run out of the dressing room, checking all the rooms as I hurry down the hallway to the bathroom

They're all empty

Getting to the woman's bathroom, I knock on the door, calling her

Nothing

I shove the door open, going in, not caring if I get yelled at

I need to find her

Explain

Grovel

"Jo?"

The room is empty but I check the stalls one at a time to make sure

She's not here

I leave, checking the men's room just in case

Empty

Maybe she's in her car

I run to the exit, shoving the door open and run into the parking lot

Running to the spot I'm pretty sure she parked in, I yell in frustration when I see it's empty

The parking lot isn't so big and I walk up and down each aisle, scanning each car

It's not here

She's not here

The photoshoot isn't over yet so I know she didn't go home

I just have no idea where she is or where she could of went

And I'm panicking

I messed up so badly

I should of talked to her instead of assuming and just doing something that could hurt her

Wooyoung is right, I should know her better than that

I know she loves me more than anything

I know she sees only me, wants only me

So what the fuck is my problem?

I'm just a fucking moron

Going back to the building, I try calling her again but it still goes straight to voicemail

Fuck

--------------------------------

I haven't stopped pacing for an hour

Joanne's manager came and told us to take a break

I asked the manager why and he said that Joanne called, saying she was feeling sick and she needed a little bit of time to take meds and for them to kick in

I keep calling her, hoping her phone is back on since she called her manager but it's not

She must have called him and turned it off again

I can't take this

I need to see her, I need to talk to her

I can't relax, I can't calm down, I'm worried about her

I hate not knowing where she is

I hate thinking that she's crying and I'm not with her

Five minutes later, her manager comes back and tells us that we're starting again in five

And I run out of the room and straight to the set

Bursting into the set, I immediately find her at one of the tables, setting up a camera

"Jagi", I call, getting to her immediately

She doesn't answer, doesn't look at me, just continues to put the lens on the camera

"Jo?"

"What?", she answers

It's not a mean answer, it's just sad

"Baby, where were you? I was looking for you everywhere", I ask anxiously

"I was out"

I don't know what to do

She's not being responsive

I understand why but I thought she'd maybe want to talk or hell even yell at me

"Where? I was worried"

"Out"

I feel like crying

She's never been this cold with me, not even before we got together

"Jagi I-"

"No", she says shutting me down immediately

"But I want to -"

"No", she repeats

"I can explain", I start

"Stop", she says firmly, "No"

I close my mouth, at a loss of what to do or how to get her to hear me out

"If you wanted to upset me, hurt me, congratulations you did", she says softly

What no!

Of course I didn't want to upset her

I just wanted her to feel a little jealous like I was feeling

It was a stupid and I regret it

"If you wanted to make me question our relationship and whether you really want to be with me, you achieved your goal"

Wait what?

Question our relationship?

She's questioning our relationship?

Because of flirting?

"Jo that's not-"

"I don't really want to talk to you right now Seonghwa", she cuts me off

My mouth drops open as pure fear runs through my body

She's never said that before

Any minor disagreements we have she always talked to me

And we never fought

Not once

"Jagi-"

"No. I just want to finish the photo shoot and go home. Alone"

Tear immediately well up in my eyes as I realize she doesn't want to be around me

She doesn't want me coming over tonight

And I don't know what to do

I haven't slept without her in a year and a half

I don't think I can

"But....but....", I stammer

"I just need to think about things Seonghwa. Whether we're going to work or not"

Oh my fucking god, what did I do?

"Nnn...no jagi...please-"

"I can't be with someone who thinks it's ok to flirt with someone else, especially in front of me. If you did it and I wasn't around, that's bad enough. But right in my face? No. I'm not dealing with that"

"Joanne, I'm sor-"

"Just leave me alone Seonghwa", she says, breaking my heart

She finally looks at me, so much hurt in her teary eyes that it takes my breath away

She's hurt because of me

I put that look on her face

I made her cry

I hurt her

I hurt my jagi when I swore I would never do anything to hurt her

I'm such an asshole

"Joanne I didn't mean to hurt you...I ...I was jealous of you and Wooyoung. I thought you were flirting with him"

"You know me better than that Seonghwa. I would never do anything to hurt you", she says, her eyes looking away from me

I know

I should of remembered that

I shouldn't have let my jealousy take over for nothing

"I...I'm sorry. I was stupid ok. I flirted with her to get back at you. To make you feel jealous too. I didn't mean it"

"That's even worse Seonghwa. That just means that you don't trust me and you want to do what? Get revenge on me for something I didn't even do?"

"No not revenge...it wasn't...it wasn't..."

God I don't know how to explain this

It seems like revenge but it wasn't

I just wanted her to feel what I felt

"I don't want a boyfriend who is going to do hurtful things to get back at me. I don't want a boyfriend who doesn't trust me. Without trust there's no relationship. That's not what I want"

"Please Jo, it's not like that!", I cry

"I need you to leave me alone Seonghwa. I have to think about this and I can't have you around me right now. It just...it just hurts"

"Baby please. I'm sorry. I'll do anything you want. Just please, don't leave me. I love you"

"Then leave me alone. That's what I want"

That is the furthest thing I want to do but I did say I'll do whatever she wants

And if I do it then maybe it'll show her that I'll do anything to fix this, anything to be with her

"Ok jagi. If that's what you want, I'll leave you alone", I whisper, the words completely breaking me

I want to be around her all the time and this is going to be torture

"Good", is all she says

She's silent as she continues to set up the camera and I have no choice but to walk away

I don't want to crowd her and get her angrier

I make my way out of the set and to the bathroom

Locking the door, I lean against it, sliding down to the floor, crying hysterically

I miss her already

I'm terrified she's going to leave me

I can't be without her

I can't

She's my everything, my life

I can't function without her

This is all my fault and I can't even fix it

I just hope that if I give her this space, she'll talk to me when she's calmer and I can fix everything

Because I don't know what I'm going to do without her

--------------------------------

Staring at the ceiling of my room, she is all that's on my mind

I'm exhausted but I can't sleep

Last night was torture

I couldn't sleep without her and I kept waking up almost every hour

At 5am I just gave up and got up

I texted her throughout the day but she never answered

We were just practicing today so we didn't need a photographer and I had no clue where she was all day

If I wasn't a complete idiot she would of been with me, watching the practice

I was a mess all day, fucking up every move in the choreo and getting everyone mad

I just can't help it

Today wasn't a normal day when she just couldn't make it to the practice

Today she decided to stay away from me, because she wanted to be away

I hurt her so much she doesn't want to see me

Today killed me and it solidifies what I already know

I can't be without her

Glancing at the clock, I make a decision

I need her

I can't stay here, staring at my ceiling all night

I can't miss her anymore

I need to get her back

I'll beg her, do whatever she wants, I just need her back

Getting up, I dress quickly trying not to make noise

Hongjoong actually came back to the dorm tonight and he's knocked out

I don't wanna wake him but I am gonna wake someone else up

I just hope he's not too mad

Leaving my room, I go into another

"Yunho", I whisper, shaking his arm, "Yunho"

He snores so loudly, I don't know how San stands it

"Yunho", I say a little louder, shaking him harder

"Huh?", he says groggily, his eyes barely open

"Yunho, it's me"

He squints at me, lifting his head just a little

"Seonghwa? What the fuck?", he grumbles

"I need a favor"

"What time is it?"

"2:30"

"You need a favor at 2:30 in the fucking morning?", he glares

"Yes. Please. I need you to drive me to Joanne's apartment"

"What why?", he asks rubbing his eyes, "Didn't she tell you to leave her alone?"

Yeah all the guys know what happened because of Wooyoung's big mouth

I got six more rips from all of them about what I did

I lost count how many times I was called a fucking idiot

But they're right and I deserved it

"I can't. I need to see her. I need to talk to her"

"I don't think that's a good idea", he says

"Please Yunho", I beg, trying not to cry, "I can't be without her. I feel like there's a huge hole in my heart because I'm not with her. I need her. I need to beg her, do whatever I have to get her to come back. Please"

He doesn't understand how much I need her

No one does

None of them have been in love before

They don't know that with her gone I feel like part of me is missing

And it hurts

He sighs, "Yeah ok. Give me five minutes"

"Thank you", I say in relief

"Yeah yeah"

I leave the room to let him get dressed and I wait in the living room

I need to learn how to drive so I don't have to rely on Yunho

We all need to learn to drive

"Ready?", he asks me, coming into the living room

I nod, "Yeah"

"Let's go", he says and I follow him out of the dorm

Hopefully, I'll have my jagi back soon

--------------------------------

Putting my key to her apartment in the door, I turn it, hearing the click of the lock turning

I unlock the bottom lock too, then open the door

I quietly close the door so I don't make too much noise

I don't want her to freak out or wake up in a panic

Keeping the light off, I make my way to her room

I know the way around her apartment like the back of my hand

I'm here every night

Except last night

Hopefully that will be the only night I'm ever away from her

As I get closer to her room, I hear noises

Is she awake?

Listening closer, my heart drops when I realize she's crying

Her door is slightly open and I gently push it more, looking in the room

I can make out her figure in the bed

Her back is to me, her sobs muffled from her face being in the pillow

My heart shatters and I move fast to her bed

I just want her in my arms

"Jagi?", I call softly

"Go away Seonghwa", she sobs

My god, I never hated the sound of my full name as much as I do right this second

"I can't jagi", I say softly, tears flooding my eyes

"Yes you can", she whispers

"No baby, no"

I can't stand it anymore

I get in the bed next to her, wrapping my arms around her, getting as close as I can, holding her against me

Burying my face in the back of her neck, I sob too

"I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry. Please jagi, I was an idiot. I love you so much jagi. Please, I'll do anything baby. Please don't leave me. I need you"

"You don't need me Seonghwa. Not if your flirting with someone in front of me"

"Yes I do. It didn't mean anything jagi-"

"Yes it did. You did it to get back at me. You didn't even think that I'd tell Wooyoung to fuck off. You actually thought I'd flirt with him. That hurts Seonghwa. I love you so much and you think the worst of me"

I know it sounds like that but I don't

"Jagi no baby. I was insecure and I handled it wrong. I should of talked to you instead of doing what I did. I swear, Jo, I made a big mistake and I swear I'll never do anything like that again"

I hope she can hear how sorry I am, how much I love her, how much I regret everything

She's quiet for a few agonizing minutes and my heart is pounding

"You let her touch you", she finally says, tears in her voice, "She touched your hair. The hair I always play with, that's only supposed to be for me. You are only supposed to be for me but you acted like you wanted her"

She buries her face in her pillow, crying harder

I hate how much I hurt her

I'm never supposed to hurt her

I'm supposed to make her happy but I failed

I was so concerned with my feelings, with being so petty that I didn't think about how she was feeling

"I am just for you jagi. I swear. I don't want her. When she touched me my whole body cringed and I wanted to slap her hand away. I don't want anyone but you touching me. I swear"

She just shakes her head, making my heart pound in my chest

She's letting me hold her but she still feels so far away from me

"I just want you Jo. Just you"

"It doesn't feel that way"

"It is and I can prove it baby", I tell her, reaching in my pocket

I move my hand from around her, bringing it closer to her face, "Look jagi"

She moves her face from her pillow as I hold out the ring I bought her months ago

"What is that?", she asks

"A ring baby. I was gonna ask you to marry me. After the comeback and before the tour, I was going to take you on vacation wherever you wanted to go and I was going to propose to you.", I tell her softly, "I love you so much Joanne. You are my other half, my better half. I felt so empty spending just one day away from you. Like I was missing part of me. I knew from the first time you kissed me, I knew you were the one I want to spend my life with. I'm sorry for what I did jagi but I promise it will never happen again. I promise, I'll spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you and that you're my only one. I swear"

"What is happening right now Seonghwa?", she asks, sounding confused

I reach over to her nightstand, turning her lamp on

"Sit with me baby?", I ask her

She does while I stand up, pulling her closer to the edge of the bed

"Seonghwa what are you doing?", she asks tiredly

I look in her eyes and kneel down on one knee, holding the ring out to her

"Joanne, will you marry me?"

She's silent as she looks at me, my heart pounding in my chest

"Are you being serious?"

"Dead serious", I answer

"Yes", she says and I immediately stand up and sit next to her

"But you can't do what you did again. It killed me to watch you flirt with someone else. I hated seeing you give the smile you give me to someone else. If you want to marry me you have to be just for me. No one touches you"

"Never jagi. I promise. No one but you is ever going to touch me. I am just for you baby. I don't want anyone but you"

She gives me a small smile, "Ok Hwa"

Hwa

I can't even explain the happiness I feel just from hearing her call me Hwa

It's amazing

"I love you", she says

"I love you so much Jo"

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me and I feel like I can actually breathe

Taking her hand, I slide the ring on her finger, it looking so beautiful on her tiny hand

She looks down at it, smiling wider, then gazes back at me, tears in her eyes

Happy tears

She moves closer to me, her arms around my neck, pulling me to her lips in a kiss

My entire body relaxes as I fall into her kiss

I'm so fucking happy I got her back, that she's now my fiancee but even more that she's in my arms right now

It's what I was missing the whole day

"Come jagi", I say, laying down and taking her with me

She immediately cuddles into me, her head on my shoulder, my arms around her and my hand in her hair, running through the soft strands

"You don't know how much I missed you baby", I whisper, "I couldn't sleep last night without you. I kept waking up until I gave up at 5am. I just wanted you"

"I wanted you too Hwa. I didn't get sleep last night either. I just kept thinking that you may not want me anymore", she says softly

"Never jagi. That will never happen. You're my everything"

"And you're mine Hwa", she says, hugging me tightly

"I'm never letting you go Jo. Never. I swear"

"Good. I'm never letting you go either"

"Good jagi"

We settle down in bed, holding each other tightly

And I finally feel whole again

[hayleythesugarbowl]

can I request a Trevor evarts x chubby! Reader please? It’s okay if not! Storyline wise idm do what you want! Love ya ❤️

Perfect || Trevor Evarts x chubby!reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist ⋆˚｡⋆୨୧⋆

summary: when you are feeling insecure about your body after getting negative comments online from fans, trevor comforts you and assures you that you’re beautiful

word count: 1.1k

warnings: insecurities, body shaming for the plot, implied smut at the end

a/n: ahh thank you for this request love! i have yet to write any x chubby reader fics but it’s something that’s super important to me as someone who’s a little chubby myself so i had to write this 🤭 also female reader. enjoy!!

<— trevor hcs • another trevor fic —>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

trevor and (y/n) are cute together and i’m happy they’re happy but honestly he could do better 

i bet trevor’s gf weighs more than him lmao 

(y/n) seems like she could be really pretty if she lost a little weight 💪🔥 

you guys should have (y/n) on again. she’s actually so funny and so pretty!! 

   ⤷ bro needs to stop with the pity compliments smh. don’t be a simp she’s mid

     It was these comments—and others like it—that you couldn’t get out of your head. There were nicer ones, but those didn’t stick with you like the negative ones.

     You sighed as you scrolled through the YouTube comments. You knew it was bad for you, but you couldn’t stop yourself. 

     You had just guest starred in your first Smosh TNTL video a few days ago. Trevor had invited you once he officially became part of the cast there and you had been more than excited to be appearing in a video. 

      You’d been dating him for months now, and you had been glad to finally make your relationship public as Trevor introduced you to the viewers as his girlfriend. 

     Now, as you over-analyzed every comment anyone had made about, you felt less glad.

     You knew Trevor loved you. He had told you multiple times. And you were confident in yourself, in your body, in the fact that he would choose you over anyone else.

     But in times like these, you found yourself doubting. What if these comments bothered Trevor too? What if he wanted a partner that his fans would like? One who was thinner and more attractive than you.

     You sighed, setting your phone down. This wasn’t helping anything.

     Suddenly you heard the door to your apartment opening, Trevor walking and in and smiling when he saw you.

     “Hey baby,” he greeted. “How are you?”

     “I’m fine,” you plastered a smile on your face, not wanting him to know what you’d been thinking or doing. “How was work?” 

     “It was crazy—Shayne and I ended up dressed as the Spice Girls.”

     He laughed, shaking his head at the memory as he walked towards the couch where you sat. He sat down next you, placing a kiss on your forehead.

     “That sounds fun,” you mumbled distractedly. 

     A crinkle formed between Trevor’s brow. “What’s up?”

     You straightened your posture. “Oh, nothing. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

     Trevor didn’t looked convinced. Curse the fact that he knew you so well.

     You and Trevor had been together long enough that you knew he would pick up when something was wrong. He knew you better than you did yourself sometimes.

     All your favorite restaurants, which jelly belly you thought was the most disgusting, the temperature you liked your apartment to be at. 

     You and Trevor had moved in together together not that long ago. You loved living with him, anything that brought you closer to him. But it just meant that he was even more in tune to your thoughts and feelings.

     Now, you watched as he thought about what to say in order to figure out what was going on while also trying not to push you. 

    “Well,” he started. “What have you been up to today?” 

    “Not much,” you said, thinking about the hours you had spent on the internet.

    “(Y/n), are you sure you’re ok?”

    “I’m fine,” you said again, not looking Trevor in the eyes. 

     He nodded slowly. “Well, if something’s wrong, you know you can talk to me.”

     “Not about this,” you said quietly, feeling the tears threatening to come. 

     “Ok, now I’m getting worried,” Trevor said, trying to keep his voice light. “If you cheated on me, tell me now so I can try to convince the judge to let me have the dog in the split.”

     You attempted a weak laugh. “You know I would never.”

     You were silent for a moment, before saying more quietly, “Unless you wanted me to.”

     “What?” Trevor asked you, shocked. 

     “I don’t know,” you mumbled, willing the tears not to fall as you spoke. “I’m sure you could get a lot of girls that are better than me if you wanted to.”

     Now you couldn’t stop the tears that began to fall down your face. “I—I mean look at you. And then look at me. I’m holding you back.”

     Trevor leaned closer to you, cupping your face in his hands. “I don’t—why would you even say that?” 

     You sniffed. You supposed there was no harm in telling him now. 

     “I—I was reading some of the comments from the TNTL video,” you avoided Trevor’s eyes. “And it seems that everyone thinks that you could do a lot better and that I’m just ugly and fat—”

     Your voice broke and Trevor pulled you into his arms, rubbing your back gently as you sobbed into his shoulder. 

     “Hey,” he said quietly, his voice close to your ear. “I don’t want you to think about any of that ever again. Don’t even think for a second that I don’t love you or that you’re anything less than perfect—because you are. Perfect.”

     He continued. “I am so sorry that you had to deal with all of that. If those people want to comment on our relationship or make you feel bad about anything then they can go to hell.”

     You lifted your head from Trevor’s shoulder, wiping tears away with your sleeve. “I know, I just—sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough for you. Like I’m keeping you from being with someone better. Prettier and skinnier.”

      “(Y/n), look at me,” he tilted your head up to his, wiping a tear away with his thumb. “I only want you. You’re the smartest, funniest, most beautiful woman I know. And I’ll personally track every one of those people down and fight them in my Posh Spice costume if that’s what it takes to prove it to you.”

     You smiled. How had you gotten so lucky? 

     Trevor let go of your face, leaning to kiss your arms. Your collarbone. Your stomach. Your hips. Before bringing his lips to yours. 

     “I love you so much, (Y/n),” he said. “I love everything about you. I always want you to know that, okay?”

     “Love you too, Trev.”

     “Now,” Trevor said, standing up from the couch, lifting you in his arms as he did so. You wrapped your legs around his waist, smiling as you leaned in to kiss him.  

     “What are we doing?” You asked him. 

     He started walking down the hall, carrying you with him. 

    “C’mon,” he said, “I want to show you how much I love you—and your body.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed loves!! check out my trevor headcanons if you want more like this 🎀

[olsenmyolsen]

ok hear me out there is a severe lack of CarolKate fics, maybe Carol trying to prepare/teach Kate how to be a leader of the young avengers but they just end up incessantly teasing each other verbally until Carol gets fed up and puts a very bratty Kate in her place and shows her who’s boss

“oh yeah? make me” and “prove it” and “i bet *you* cant even do that” vibes

Thank you for reaching out! <3. I enjoyed writing this dynamic a lot! Also all of my requests so far have been smut... don't know what that says about you all or me.

Prove It (18+)

master list . maroon master list . dark master list

MCU AU (Kate Bishop X Carol Danvers)

Summary: Carol is training Kate to lead the Young Avengers, but the 23-year-old can't keep her mouth shut.

Word Count: 2K

Content: Sex, Fingering, Petnames Kink, Praise, Oral, Feelings, Pinning, etc

Carol watched as Kate rose up from the black mats in the training room yet again.

Kate was in dire need of some training, specifically hand-to-hand combat if she was going to be one of the leaders of the Young Avengers or whatever the hell Kamala was putting together.

Kamala Khan had talked to Carol about her own band of heroes for the last couple of months, but honestly, Carol put on a smile and tuned the hero from Jersey out most of the time.

"Okay, you got me that time, but that's because I was going easy," Carol smirked at Kate's words. "Oh really? What about the other twenty-nine times?" Kate put on a confident smile. "You wish it was twenty-nine times."

"No, it has been twenty-nine times. I've been keeping count." Kate's face fell. "Oh." Carol put her hands up ready to go again. "Really?" Kate asked, making Carol smile. "Yes. Now, come on, hit me."

"Oh, usually that comes after dinner. And with consent." Carol rolled her eyes as Kate laughed and put her hands up before her, pacing around Carol. The two of them had been going at it for at least an hour and a half, but Kate and her mouth had yet to stop.

Clint told Carol all about how great the archer was. But he warned her that she never stops talking. Like ever.

Carol was beginning to miss Goose and their quiet purrs.

Kate moved closer to Carol but made the mistake of moving her eyes to the point where she would strike—making it easy for Carol to lift her leg and collide with Kate's stomach. The younger woman stumbling back. "Jeez, I thought Clint said you took Karate or something?"

"He talked about me?" Kate ignored the rest of Carol's words. Carol sighed. "Yes, one of the world's greatest archers, but you still can't land a punch without someone hitting you first."

"Okay, ouch." Kate put her hands over her heart and faked being stabbed. Carol stopped moving and waited for Kate and her theatrics to be done.

It took another thirty seconds.

"Okay, kid, let's see if you can't resist telegraphing your moves." Kate made a face at the K word. "Ew, don't call me that." Carol and Kate began to circle one another. Carol looked slightly confused. "What kid? Doesn't Clint call you that?"

Kate lightly shrugged. "Yeah, but he's like a father figure, plus it sounds wrong coming from someone's mouth that isn't as old as him." Carol shook her head and laughed. "You know I'm technically over sixty."

Kate couldn't stop the words flying out of her mouth.

"Not with a body like that."

Carol stopped moving. Kate stopped moving. "Oh god. She's going to kill me." The Bishop girl whispered under her breath.

After a beat of silence, a glowing smirk grew on Carol's face. She had a new angle. "I see," Carol said, dragging her feet along the mat, slowly moving again. Kate stumbled before she also started moving. Afraid of what Carol would say and do.

"You're attracted to me."

Kate's mouth dropped. "No- I mean, yes, you're attractive, but no, I'm not- to you."

A blind man would be attracted to Carol Danvers.

Carol squinted. "You sure about that, honey?" Kate's eyes went wide as she gulped. Carol was having fun now. "Go back to calling me kid," Kate demanded, but Carol laughed. "Why are you afraid I'm bringing up some mommy issues?"

Kate exhaled. She needed to try and get the upper hand again. "And what if you are?" She replied. Carol shrugged after a second. "Then quit being a brat about it."

Kate's body grew warmer.

She licked her lips and opened her mouth. A little squeak came out before her words. "Well, maybe I just need to be put in my place." Carol raised an eyebrow and bit her bottom lip. "You got that right, sweetie." Kate's brain almost died, but luckily for her, she had the threat of Carol charging at her to worry about.

So she put her one leg back and planted her foot before lifting her other one to hit Carol, but the blonde was fast. She grabbed onto Kate's leg and dragged it down as she slid underneath Kate and her blue eyes.

Kate's face and then body hit the mat. Yes, in that order.

"Oh, Mommy's sorry," Carol said in a fake voice with a pout. Tingles surround Kate but she turned over onto her back and meet Carol's eyes. "You can't do that!"

"Do what?" Carol tilted her head with a smile. Kate huffed. She didn't know what she was yelling about. Either Carol grabbing her and pulling her to the floor or the nicknames.

"Like I said, Momm-" "Stop that!" Kate yelled from the floor. Carol took steps towards Kate until her body was over the younger woman's. Carol crouched over Kate. "Oh, you want me to stop?" Carol's voice switched from her fake, almost pornographic tone to her real one. "Let me guess, it's turning you on?"

A little frustrated, Kate lifted up and pushed Carol, making the blonde quickly shoot up and use her powers to catch herself from falling.

"Oh, okay." Carol took the hit and news well. Kate was red in the cheeks because of embarrassment, fear, and because Carol was right. The blonde crossed her arms over her white tank top. "You want me to stop treating you like the brat you are?"

Kate rose to her feet. Hands in front of her. "I'm twenty-three, not a fucking brat."

"Not with that attitude." Carol barked back. The training slowly works its way to the front of her mind again. On the battlefield, you couldn't waste a second having an attitude like this.

Kate was silent. "Okay. You want me to stop, baby?" Kate nodded. "Yes." Carol nodded and removed her arms from in front of her chest. "Oh yeah? Make me. Take me to the mat."

Kate let out a quiet sigh. Her body and mind were fighting for control, but she raised her hands and knew she needed to beat Carol.

"Atta girl." Carol winked in a sultry voice that made Kate clench her jaw and move towards Carol with a greater quickness than Carol had seen all day. Except Kate was still Kate and stumbled as she took a comprehensive step to the right, forcing her to launch forward into Carol.

But Carol was observing and moved her body to take the impact softer. Catching Kate.

Who then stepped on Carol's foot.

So technically, Kate did take Carol to the mat.

Kate landed on top of Carol as Carol wrapped her arms around the younger woman. The impact made a grunt slip from Carol's lips to Kate's ears. Quickly, Kate lifted her upper half off of Carol, and Carol's hands fell from Kate's back to her hips.

They stayed there as Kate looked over Carol's face. "Well, technically, you did what I asked," Carol smirked. "Y-yeah, I did." Kate stumbled as she felt Carol's rough hands squeeze her hips. "The problem is... I don't think this little slip-up means you're ready to lead a team."

Kate refrained from rolling her eyes—something Carol noticed.

"Oh yeah?" Kate whispered as she spread her legs wider on either side of Carol's. Carol nodded. "Yeah. Your attitude is still there, too." Kate moved her hands to Carol's and pulled them away from her body. She placed them onto the mat as her hands slid to Carol's wrist. Her body hanging over the blonde's. "I think you like it."

"Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you."

Kate couldn't win. "A leader takes control, Kate." Carol gently said into the space between the two. Carol was giving Kate an opportunity. Kate slowly leaned forward until her lips hung inches away from Carol's. She looked through her eyes to see Carol's blue ones telling her she wanted it.

Kate wrapped her hand around Carol's wrist and placed her lips onto Carol's. The older woman became intoxicated from one taste of Kate Bishop. Her soft pink tasted like lavender against Carol's.

The blonde could smell the body lotion Kate used in the morning. Kate could smell and taste the chapstick Carol loved.

As the two were becoming lost in one another, Kate began to grind her hips into Carol's—the friction causing a much-needed release of pleasure as Kate moaned into Carol's mouth.

Carol nodded and moaned as Kate's lips moved to her neck. Quickly, Carol lifted her arms up and wrapped them around her. Touching and feeling her skin.

Carol's hands burned with desire against Kate.

"Oh fuck, baby!" Carol moaned when Kate began sucking on Carol's chest.

Carol moved her hands down to Kate's sides again. She squeezed and slipped her hands underneath the seam of Kate's shorts. Kate moaned as Carol lifted her head to kiss Kate's chest. At the same time, Carol's left hand moved through Kate's untrimmed hairs. "You feel so good!" Carol groaned as Kate nodded with squeaks. "Oh fuck, Carol!" Kate cried out as Carol's middle finger ran over the wet spot Kate had.

Carol lifted her body with her powers and took Kate into her arm as she placed Kate gently onto her back. Her lips still attacking the you get woman's chest. Her middle finger was still pressing against Kate's covered wet pussy. "Oh, Mom-"

Kate stopped herself, but Carol heard it. She pulled her hand out of Kate's shorts and brought it to Kate's mouth. "Open." Kate hesitated. "I'm giving you orders, Kate." Carol reaffirmed with a commanding voice. "That's it. Be good for Mommy." Carol watched as Kate's mouth dropped, and slowly, Carol's finger disappeared as Kate's mouth wrapped around it.

"Keep sucking. Do you taste yourself?" Kate nodded with a muffled moan.

Carol was making her feel a way no one else had.

Carol, with a smirk, pulled down the sides of Kate's shorts as Kate helped kick them off.

"You're doing so well, aren't you, baby? Being good for your Captain! Your leader!" Carol husked as she spread apart Kate's legs. Her lips dragging up the other woman's soft thighs. "Oh, Kate." Carol leaned down and kissed the wet spot of Kate's black cotton underwear. With Kate's hand around Carol's wrist, she kept sucking and licking Carol's fingers until Carol pulled them out. Drool coating the younger woman's chest as Carol brought those same fingers to Kate's clothed pussy.

"You're so pretty," Carol said before pulling the black panties to the side. "Fuck Carol, you're so hot!" Kate whined. Carol loved hearing Kate come unglued.

"Oh, just touch me. Please!" Kate cried out. Her fingers ran through the blonde's short hair until she reached the back of Carol's head and pushed it closer to her wet clit. Carol gave in with a smile. "There you go, Kate. Command me!"

Carol was still making this a teaching lesson, and it drove Kate crazy.

"Just shut up!" Kate responded, turned into a loud moan as Carol's tongue hit the bottom of her spread pussy and worked its way to the top of Kate's clit. Flicking the hood before she slipped her middle finger up and worked it in a circular motion.

Even through the workout leading to this moment, Carol couldn't get enough of Kate.

And Kate was in pure ecstasy as Carol ate her out and finger fucked her better than she had ever had at college.

"Oh fuck! Oh, Carol! I'm about to cum!" Kate lifted her head from the black mat and arched her back. "That's not my name, sweetheart!" Carol replied as she spit on her hand and slipped it through Kate's wet pussy lips before returning to her clit.

And Kate knew what Carol wanted to be called, but it was too late as her legs began to shake and she started cumming.

Carol kissed up Kate's body as she came down from her high. Carol knew she would be too exhausted to do anything to her, but she was okay with it.

"I have to say..." Kate started as her breathing slowed. "That might've been the best training I've ever done." Carol laughed as her body hung above Kate's. "Is that right?" Carol asked.

Kate nodded. "Although I'm not sure if anything will stick."

"Oh?" Carol raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. I mean, if I want to be a leader, I have to learn from the best."

Carol went to open her mouth. Kate interrupted her thought. "From the best who's still around." Carol closed her mouth and smiled. "I'll make something out of you yet, Bishop," Carol whispered before she leaned down and softly kissed Kate. "You still need to prove it to me."

"Oh, I will." Kate kissed her again. "I will."

dividers by @/benkeibear

[a-pretty-nerd]

THE MEDIUM AND THE DETECTIVE

On another episode of: "STFU, I don't care that the Fandom's DEAD! YOU CAN'T STOP ME!"

A Deathe Note L x Reader x Matsuda Angst Fic!

Summary: You're a suspect for predicting the Kira case, but can you predict this dick-

Warnings: SAD. Gender neutral, but, there is a preggers trope. You see dead people in this one. Happy ending!!!

The first encounter with L was traumatic to say the least. Being a suspect in the Kira case, L was thorough. When your best selling thriller novel eerily predicts the Kira murders, you're naturally his first suspect in the case. But as his investigation continues he unfolds an even more unsettling truth.

A series of prophetic dreams drove you to write the suspensious book. And the dreams you are currently having continue to predict the murders before they happen. But because you're under 24hr surveillance, L comes to the conclusion that you are not Kira. But your spars visions of the future have been genuinely helpful and fascinating. So L keeps you around.

A curious friendship grows, and a budding romance between the two blossoms. You and L settle into a secret affair throughout the Kira Investigation as your dreams becomes more vivid and frightening. Your dreams often predict major events, even L's death, but certain pieces are missing. Like Kira has something protecting him from being seen.. As the murders continue, you become haunted by Kira's victims as they seek revenge for their deaths.

Matsuda has often acted as a friend. The golden retriever you can count on. The one that always greets you with a smile and gets you a cup of coffee. L would watch the two of you be friendly and even he could not deny the two of you had chemistry. He thinks someone like Matsuda would be good for someone like you. He'd certainly take care of you. You'd probably be better off- but.... L is selfish and jealous inside.

L wants you all to himself. He delights in having moments alone with you, though they are few and far in-between. Hell, Watari is the only living soul who knows about the two of you. So intimacy is truly rare, but that often makes it that much more passionate when you do get the chance. Depending on his mood and how tired her is, L can range from a dedicated lover to a frenzied lover. Pattern recognition is an important skill he's very experienced with.

Time passes and your situation changes. You become more of a paranormal consultant on the Kira case. Which, often comes in handy for L when he's trying piece things together. Your outside insight is be very helpful to him. But unfortunately for you, the longer the case continues, the worse your experiences get. Your nightmares become full on night terrors that you become stuck in. Matsuda has had to shake you from a few.

L sees the change in you before you do. He notices a change in smell first. You don't smell the same. Not bad. Just different. Then he notices how your appetite has changed. He sees the nausea in your face before you can even voice a complaint. L suggests a stomach bug first, keeping his suspicions to himself. So he has you see a doctor. A doctor who promptly informs you that you are....well...you know...in the family way.

When you return with glazed over and fatigued eyes, L's theory is confirmed. He looks at it very objectivly at first. He prepares for every possibility before he even starts the conversation. Regardless of your options, he makes preparations for each. He waits patiently for you to tell him on your own time, when you're comfortable. He doesn't take you trying to hide it as an insult, more than anything he feels himself becoming more and more nervous that you haven't told him. He comforts himself with the idea that you probably just haven't figured out what to do yet, so you're waiting to talk to him before you make a decision.

You tell him when you're alone. L doesn't move a muscle. He freezes. He expected this but the longer you waited the more he had to grapple with the idea of becoming a parent. Which is something L never expected himself to be dealing with. Especially not smack-dab in the middle of the most dangerous and intense cases of his life. So, he kind of panics. The conversation is deadpan as expected. For the most part he's honest about his feelings towards it. He honestly doesn't think keeping it isn't good idea, but he's well aware that isn't his choice. His voice is sweet when he says, "no matter what happens, I will ensure you are taken care of. No one will hurt you."

It isn't until he sees the first ultrasound that he kind of changes his tune. He stares at the picture, fascinated by it. When you ask about it, he says, "Watching something grow from nothing is indescribable." A very L answer. As much as he wants you to remain by his side. As much as he wants you, he knows it's only a matter of time. He knows that the longer you remain at headquarters, the higher the risk. If Light hasn't already put the pieces together, he knows he soon will. And as much as the evidence has proven his "innocence" he doesn't trust Light with a damn thing.

To rub salt in the wound, the longer you stay by his side, the worse your paranormal experiences become. You've been unable to sleep, you can't handle being alone or in the dark for very long. The ghosts of Kira's victims whisper in your ears and claw at your clothes. The more violent ones scream and shout whenever they get the chance. It's taking a toll on you. Everyone fears for your well-being. Matsuda and L especially. So when L finally sends you away, you understand. You're not happy about it in the least. But L is prepared to use force if he has to. He will not be letting you die. You're already at the end of your rope and if something were to happen to you, he'd never be able to forgive himself.

So you're sent back to your family with a large sum in your bank account. Child support in advance, if you will. The ghosts leave you be, and the nightmares ease up. The ones you do have are of L. And it's the same dream. Everytime it's his death. You did everything you could to prevent it and still your dreams are relentless. You've told L his fate before and he always regarded it with the same interest as every other dream, like it was nothing special. You would try to contact L but he made sure you would have no way to reach him.

The only person who is allowed to contact you besides himself, which he doesn't anyways, is Matsuda or Watari. Watari calls on occasion pretending to be your doctor. He asks questions about your condition, your medical records, your paranormal experiences. You assume he's doing this to keep L up to date on your current status. When you ask why L does not call himself, Watari tells you that he's busy, but he sends his regards.

Matsuda calls every couple of days. He's only allowed to call when he's alone and he's not allowed to share information on the Kira case for obvious reasons. But he's more interested in how you're doing anyways. He asks you about what you've been up to, how you and your family are doing. If you have any plans for a new novel. He's been a fan of your work since before the investigation began. He's a breath of fresh air. You look forward to his calls.

Suddenly the calls stop for a while. There's a deep pit in your stomach one morning as you look outside your bedroom window. There's a faint sound of ringing that you can't shake. So you go on with your day, trying to regain your sense of normalcy. Failing miserably when sometime in the afternoon you feel a great loss. That night as you lay in bed, pretending to sleep in hopes that dreams will creep in anyways, you feel a presence.

A familiar figure stands at the foot of your bed, watching. You know who it is right away. You can practically see him even with your eyes closed. The scent of coffee, vanilla, and paper follows him as quiet footsteps come to the other side of your bed. You're afraid that if you move or open your eyes he'll disappear. So you lay there as the blankets are pulled up and he crawls into bed with you. Laying down behind you and wrapping his cold arms around to spoon you. You lay there in his ghostly embrace for a long while, just trying to memorize the feeling in hopes that it will never leave you. He leans in, cold lips pressed against your ear as he whispers. "I was right." And then he's gone.

Matsuda calls a few days later, crying. When he finally gets the words out to tell you what's happened, he's met with a cold: "I know. Thank you, Matsuda." He finds himself being comforted by you. He knew that you and L were close. He knew you were friends. But he had no idea the relationship you had, nor the evidence that has reached a healthy 6 months. He implores you to attend L's funeral but, you can't do that. Emotionally and physically it's out of the question. Light is Kira. You know that. You've always known deep down, deep in your heart and so did L. After all, he was right.

Misa tries to contact you, you pick up the phone only to hear her voice. You hang up and change your number. Light tries to contact you, claiming its in regards to L and the Kira case. He wants to bring you back. You almost throw up right then and there. Instead, you hung up the call, close the phone, and smash it with a hammer. Matsuda is the only number you remember and the only person you trust. You don't trust him to know that Light is Kira. But you trust him to be good and kind. You trust him to visit you.

You pick him up at the airport when he comes out to visit you. You look so different he doesn't notice you. He passes right by you before you call out his name. You're visibly pregnant at this point, roughly 8 months. Your hair is longer and full. Your skin is glowing, your eyes are vibrant when they peak out from behind your sunglasses. You look nothing like the sickly, haunted spectator he knew you as. When he sees your belly, he just stares. He's speechless.

He's far too stunned for form a real sentence for about an hour as you drive him to his hotel. You laugh at him as he stares.

"It's good to see you too, Matsu." You joke with a smile. He goes red in the face.

"Uh- You look- You look great!" He croaks.

"Thanks."

"You're...um...are you-"

"Glowing? I am. Thank you for noticing." You tease him. It's good to have a friend close by again. He's not allowed to know where you're staying with your family, just to be safe. If Light were to ever decide to torture or kill Matsuda for information, you have to be sure. It's a risk even letting him see you like this. But you never win without taking a risk.

"So then you're...married?" He asks, a bit disappointed. You turn to him, your expression confused.

"What?? No. Do you see a ring on my finger?"

"Well no...I just...you're...uh-" You can see the gears turning in his head. Like he has all the pieces he just doesn't want to put them together. "How far along?"

"8 months? Give or take." You answer honestly. The pieces have been put together regardless. The puzzle is nearly complete, much to Matsuda's horror. It's L's. He knows it. There's no other option. Chief Yagami and Aizawa are out of the question. You've always hated Light from the moment you met. L...you were so close with L.

"Why didn't I see it before..." He mumbles to himself.

"You weren't supposed to. No one was supposed to know. No one is supposed to know." You tell him firmly. "This stays between you and me, Matsuda. I'm telling you this as my friend. In confidence that no one else on that task force will know about this. If no one else knows that L is dead, no one will know about this, understood?" Matsude nods in agreement as he pouts. He tries to apologize. He's overly emotional about the whole thing. Extraordinarily sympathetic to your situation, as he always is.

He's deeply worried about you and the baby. He's worried about you doing everything alone. You try to reassure him you have a family for support and a bank account that looks like a social security number thanks to L's estate. But still, Matsuda feels like he could be doing something to help you. You're his crush friend! He can't let you do all that alone. He knows L left you with everything you might need to be a single parent but...still...

"Marry me!" He blurts out one night.

"WHAT!?" You bark.

"Marry me! We'll be a family, you'll never have to worry about a thing. Let me take care of you!" He begs. You pause for a moment, it's as if you can hear L's voice in your ear. 'Matsuda's acting stupid again.'

"No! I'm not marrying you! Are you insane!? What good would that do me anyways? I'm taken care of as it is, I don't need you." Matsuda pouts but ultimately understands. He was out of pocket just asking you like that. He let his emotions get the better of then again. But he can't help it. He sees you alone like that and he just wants to take care of you. He wants to hold you and tell you everything is going to be okay. To comfort and love you.

He's at the airport when you call him. You've gone into labor. He's there for you before your own family is. The man booked it through the hospital looking for you. He's incredibly nervous seeing you in so much pain, but he's determined to support you. You're not sure why you called him. Why you wanted him there. It's not even his kid but...still...It probably has something to do with the long nights you spent waking up from night terrors. His arms around you, rubbing your back as you sob in terror. He makes you feel safe.

Matsuda is holding your hand when L's daughter is born around 3am on October 31st. Matsuda cuts the cord and he holds her first. He sits beside you in a chair as you rest and recover. He knows the baby isn't his but when he looks down at her, he feels his heart swell with pride and wonder. A part of him feels guilty for being there. L should be sitting where he is, holding his own child and being there to hold your hand. Tears fall from his eyes and onto the bundle beneath him.

As time passes, Matsuda keeps your whereabouts and your little family a secret. He visits, as often as he can. He lies to Light and the others about where he's going. And because it's Matsuda, the loveable idiot, Light doesn't suspect or even entertain the idea that he's lying to him. He watches as the child grows into a remarkable combination of you and L. She has his pirecing eyes that greet him when he walks into the front door of your home.

The little girl adores Matsuda. He's sweet and silly. He brings her toys and treats. She likes to sit on his shoulders and play with his hair. All things considered, he makes a good father.

Things are winding down to a disturbing close in the Kira case. The day before everything goes down, you have another dream. L is standing over his daughter's bed, watching her carefully. He turns to look at you. "I love you, very much. I'm sorry I've never said it before. You've done well with her and everything. But the case will soon be closed." In this dream he approaches you and holds you close in his arms again. "Goodbye."

You wake up to the sound of your daughter screaming a crying for you. You rush to her aid. The next few days pass with a defeaning silence. Matsuda doesn't call, which by now is irregular considering he calls almost once a day now. But by the end of that week, something lifts. Like sun has finally peaked through the clouds. A weight is lifted from your shoulders a you feel lighter than you have in years. You feel like you can breath.

Matsuda shows up unannounced in the dead of night. He looks exhausted, heavy bags under his eyes. His cheerful and bright nature stripped away from him. He shuffles into your home and starts to sob. You hold him close as he describes the horror he's been through. What Light did- What Matsuda did to him. This time, it's your turn to comfort him. He stays the night. Sleeping in your bed with you as you remind him he's safe and warm with you.

In the morning he feels better. Still depressed but, his smile returns when your daughter sees him sitting at the breakfast table.

"Are you having breakfast with us, Mat?" She asks as her little fists rub the sleep from her eyes.

"Is that okay with you?" He asks her. She shrugs and climbs up the chair to sit in front of him.

"I don't care. You could have every meal with us." She says as he eyes focus over the small plate of child-sized pancakes. Matsuda watches her with a loving gaze. If only he could. If only...

"You stay, if you wanted to." You say softly as you place a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You could stay."

[lady-of-endless]

“I stand with you” (Ramattra x Reader)

Author’s Note: So I found another muse and I’m obsessed. Here is a nice little angsty fic (with a happy end). As usual, please excuse any grammar mistake, I’m not a native speaker.

Word count: 1743

Edit: here’s a new fic that can be read separately https://www.tumblr.com/lady-of-endless/710235615367692288/flashbacks-and-height-differences-ramattra-x?source=share

What should be done when someone despises you for who you are?

Your answer was to leave that individual alone and try not to bother him as much as possible, minding your business. It was supposed to be simple, not the complicated task it turned out to be.

Even if you went on with your daily duties at the peaceful monastery in Nepal, he kept on testing you. Slowing you down with his ravenous vortex, blocking your way with his void barrier, whatever it took to reveal your true colors and prove to his brother the hideous truth about human nature. It become a routine whenever he visited.

It all started when Zenyatta announced his brother's first visit to Nepal. Despite your excitement to meet him, your mentor had to briefly explain Ramattra's principles. Before even trying to find a solution, he already arrived.

You could recall how shivers ran down your spine when your chin was lifted by his staff to look up at him.

"Your name, human."

His voice was a shadow compared to the light of Zenyatta's tone. Ramattra spoke harshly, demanding. He could have ended you then and there but instead he gifted you mercy.

So, since then, there were only two kinds of days in Nepal. Calm days and days in which Ramattra visited and interfered with whatever you tried to do. However, with each of the latter, you started to learn more about the vengeful omnic and his devastating story. Unconsciously, Ramattra also discovered more about you. As sickening as it was initially to watch you get along with every omnic from the monastery, he started to get more curious. As trust does not blossom overnight, his visits started to get more frequent. Gradually, his daily torments stopped but even so, you still felt his gaze on you.

One day, Zenyatta decided to visit another monastery in Nepal with Genji. He left you and his dear brother responsible for the sacred place, much to Ramattra's displeasure who was not supposed to be there.

The night was so quiet, a serene snowing night, that could not anticipate such an unfortunate event.

Pacing aimlessly in your room with a late-night cup of tea, you accidentally saw from the window the terrible image of an omnic trapped under a fallen statue that decorated the court of the monastery. Gasping, you dropped the cup instantly, leaving your room in a desperate hurry but knowing exactly who could help.

His name echoed through the halls as you ran barefoot and called for him.

Arriving at his door, you started to bash your fists against the wood repeatedly, not caring about his recharging state at that late hour.

He heard your voice from the first call and sighed deeply, looking at the door but not moving yet.

"Ramattra, please! It's an emergency! An omnic!" You explained in a breathless voice. "Is injured, please, help."

Finally, the door was opened swiftly, his tall figure towering over you.

"Take me there."

You nodded and started running again, with him by your side this time.

"If you have anything to do with this, human, I will not hesitate to-"

"A statue fell over because of the weather." You stated hastily.

It was only then he realized it was indeed horrible weather outside, and even worse for something so weak as a human. Yet, there you were, running in a flimsy impractical outfit. He could not throw a remark because you both arrived at the scene.

A broken and incredibly heavy statue kept the poor monk injured and trapped in place. His pleas to help him panicked you even more. Ramattra wasted no time changing to his nemesis form to lift the stone from the omnic.

After that, when he reversed his transformation to his omnic form, you felt that it was your turn to act. Almost bumping into Ramattra who also wanted to look at the injuries, you both analyzed the damage fast.

It was critical. Ramattra got solemnly quiet and you were quick to notice it.

"No, don't even think about it, there must be something we can do."

He slowly shook his head, he has seen too many injured omics not to predict the outcome.

"I think...I can try to heal him." You continued in a small unsure voice.

Ramattra froze in place remembering that his brother explained how you were studying ways to use your healing ability the first time he saw you at the monastery.

"You think? Are you this unsure of your abilities?" He asked more sharply than he intended.

"I have never done this before... Healing an omnic." You explained in a whisper so that the one in pain could not hear.

Ramattra was speechless once again. Before he could demand explanations, you already started.

"Just describe to me how those components look when they're in perfect shape."

After voicing your idea, you pleaded to the injured omnic to stay with you, cupping his face gently. That gesture of human warmth should have infuriated Ramattra but not this time. "Please hurry, let us do it, Ramattra." You said daring to grip his hand tightly.

He was baffled by everything and especially by the hope in your eyes when looking at him. Why were you this motivated to save an omnic? How dare you care for one of his people when you were just a human? Leaving his wonder behind, Ramattra cleared his throat and started to help you.

Now, with your hands on the cold metal of those broken components you were trying to focus while Ramattra explained how each circuit should be in a stern voice. As you took in his words and concentrated, the damage started to slowly reverse under your touch. He looked in wonder at the omnic and then closely at your face.

After what seemed to be so many moments of an intense healing process, the injured omnic could finally get up from the ground alone. Happiness flowed in his tone when he thanked both you and Ramattra for saving his life. You were smiling weakly in return, something still felt off.

"Thank you for your crucial explanations. You saved another one." You said to Ramattra while both of you looked at the omnic who was walking back to his room in safety.

Ramattra only shook his head and started walking away from you already. This event got him too confused. He had to encounter the joy of keeping another omnic safe with caution and also sort his thoughts alone.

"Maybe you should study more since you are even staying at a place full of us omnics, don't you think?" He commented preparing for one of your comebacks.

However, no answer was heard from you this time, no response, no calm voice.

If Ramattra could have frowned, he would do it right then. Instead, he stopped and dared to be curious about your condition, taking a look over his shoulder. He saw you crashed on the ground, in the thin layer of cold snow.

...He stopped in place.

This is probably a false alarm, he thought. But he convinced himself that you had no intention of testing him.

...He took a step closer.

Maybe you wanted to pay him back for all of his torments. But you never seemed that upset or bitter about it.

...He walked closer to your static figure.

"Get up, human." His voice was as sharp as the wind.

A thought of using his staff to touch you flashed across his circuits but he kneeled next to your body instead. You were still breathing but shivering. Unintentionally, he remembered his brother's explanations again. What you also tried to learn from Zenyatta was how to handle energy loss after healing someone. You needed to rest, but logically not outside in that freezing weather.

Ramattra called your name. For the first time, he did not call you "human", "human pet", or "nuisance", he called the name that tormented his thoughts for days.

Hearing it, made you weakly open your eyes just to close them back.

"Get up now, or your vitals will drop!" He repeated, slightly nervous.

No reaction.

You knew that healing an omnic was different from what you knew you could do and something probably draining, yet you did it with no hesitation.

What was the reason?

Defeated, Ramattra looked around for any other omnic in sight but there was none. He sighed and embraced your body clumsily.

For years, he only knew how to harm a human, not protect it. He had no idea how to hold a body like yours, how to keep it close, safe. Yet, he had to do it. No, he started to want to do it. He did not care how fast the color from the human faces can drain because of low temperatures before, now, it started to worry him.

With the help of his nemesis form, he could put his scarf around your shoulders without letting your body out of his unfamiliar embrace.

"You forgot what I am?" You whispered in a shiver, feeling what he was doing.

There was never a moment in which he would forget what you were. A human that got on his nerves with your affection and care for the ones of his kind (without being a deception, he discovered). A human, different from those oppressors who took away the ones close to him and he killed in return. How could he forget when your face haunted him in his tries to meditate or make plans lately?

"Shut it or I will leave you where I found you." He said instead of everything else. "Save your energy and hold onto me."

So, yes, he knew what you were and who you were. The one that saved an omnic, the one that likes to interact all the time with ones of his kind, the one that wants to learn more.

Your name did not sound like a bad omen anymore.  

Was this what Mondatta preached about? Was this what Zenyatta tried to explain about you? A flashback of his lectures at Shambali made Ramattra feel a pressure in his chest, right where he thought he had a blade instead of a heart.

Suddenly, a cold gust of wind hit. Still advancing through it, Ramattra looked down at your peaceful expression and carefully placed a hand on the side of your face to shield you.

"You are safe with me."

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Beauty of the Blue Pt. 2

A/N- i genuinely didn’t expect that fic to get so much love 🥰 thank you all for your feedback on it, i really do want to write more for him, but for some reason he’s a very tricky character for me to get down correctly. BUT, i’m glad that so many of you have been sending in requests so i get a little more practice for writing him 🖤 I may or may not turn this into a 3 part fic but i haven’t decided yet 😅

Summary- After a week of being on Buggy’s ship, you need to know why he’s been treating you so differently than you had imagined.

Genre- Fluff, Light smut at the end

Warnings- Reader has female anatomy, Buggy being a little bit of a pervert, hinting at smut near the end

Tag List- @lotr-got

(tag list is always open, let me know if you’d like to be added 🖤)

Word Count- 3.6k

If you’d like to read Part 1 you can find it here 🫶

You woke up to the sunlight shining through the window of your room, the gentle rocking of the ship awoke you further, easing your way slowly out of bed.

Your arms were stretched up over your head as you yawned, and a smile slowly came to your lips as you looked around the room.

It was small, but cozy.

Buggy had kept his promise, and he had given you nothing but the best since you’ve made your deal. Your bed had the softest blankets and pillows you’ve felt in a long while, he’d given you plenty of clothes to survive on for the next few months at sea if need be, and of course you were given as much privacy as you needed, only calling for meals as you lay in bed all day if that’s what you wished.

It was an easy life, and to be honest it was quite nice not having to ask for much anymore. You had been given every little thing you had asked for, and if his crew couldn’t get you what you wanted, Buggy would send them off on one of the lifeboats to return with what you needed and more as an apology. Out of everything else you had gotten out of your deal, Buggy was the thing you were most grateful for.

Even the crew had never seen him so eager to get up in the morning to greet you.

Each and every morning you’d woken up to him at your door, already fully dressed and ready for the day, wishing you a good morning with some breakfast if it was ready and tell you of the ships plan for the day. Thus far it hasn’t been too much of a journey. The Big Top was headed to the Grand Line, slowly but surely, and up until this point you hadn’t been asked to use your beauty to get them much of anything.

Every stop you made, Buggy would ask if you needed anything at all while they were stopped, and it felt nice to not have to be the one doing the work to get you what you needed. It was strange, having someone always doting on you rather than the other way around.

Buggy had been nothing but kind and respectful to you since you came aboard his ship, and he made sure the crew had been giving you the same treatment. You couldn’t be more grateful. Only a week in, and your life had already been changed for the better.

Though one thing had been on your mind since that night at the bar.

You figured that Buggy would’ve wanted something from you in return by now, and yet he had not asked for one thing. No intimacy, no private time together, nothing. Each and every time you had been given an offer by another captain they always wanted one specific thing from you, they made that clear, and you didn’t give it up that easy. Buggy won you over because you knew that if that was what he wanted, you wouldn’t be opposed to giving him a little something extra in return for giving you such treatment aboard his ship. And yet, he was always so respectful.

Giving you his arm to guide you wherever you went together, letting you have your privacy when you changed or bathed, and though it was nice to be able to not expect him to come into your room every night and leave after getting what he wanted, you started wishing he would.

You had caught yourself sneaking longer glances over to him, smiling whenever his gaze met yours. His touch would linger on you for a few moments longer than normal and you never wanted that sensation to leave your skin. You’d lay in bed at night wishing that you had someone warm laying next to you to hold you in their arms. You wanted it to be him.

He had already shown you another side of him, the side that could be caring and compassionate if need be, but you wanted so much more. You came onto this ship agreeing that you would be his, but now you wanted him to be yours.

Your legs hung over the edge of your bed and you smiled when you heard that familiar knock at your door.

“Come in!” You said in between yawns.

Buggy had entered with a smile, his captains hat off, a small tray in his hands with your breakfast.

“Good morning.” He said with a smile as he placed the little tray next to you on the bed, “My, my, that beauty sleep really does wonders on you.”

You giggled and looked at your hands in your lap to try and hide your blush. You had heard the way he spoke to his crew and to the islanders he had come across when going in for more supplies, and he had never used that tone with you.

“I’m glad you think so.” You reached out and sipped the tea he had brought you, “What’s on the agenda today, captain?”

“Not much more than what we did yesterday.” He approached you and sat on the other side of the tray, “No islands around, the nearest one is around a day away, so we’re just going to sail and see how long it takes us.”

You nodded and quickly grabbed the fork, picking at the little plate of fruits you were brought,

“Anything for me to do today?” You asked him, but he shook his head.

“Not a thing my dear.” He smiled and stood back up, “You just do whatever it is you always do, and i’ll take care of the rest.”

He placed his hand onto your shoulder and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, making sure none of the red on his lips transferred. He smiled down at you for a moment before clearing his throat, looking to the floor. His gaze left yours and the smile on your lips slowly faded. For some strange reason, everything felt so right with him there.

You didn’t feel alone.

“Wait!” You said to him, quickly grasping his hand and lightly pulling back, giggling as you saw it pop off of his wrist as it held yours, “Sorry…” He stepped forward and you held his hand back up to his arm, feeling the slight stretch at his wrist as it reattached itself to the rest of his body, “I still forget sometimes.”

“It’s alright,” He smiled and slowly removed his hand from yours, moving it to the side of your head, petting your hair back as he looked down to you, “I forget too sometimes…”

You shared a comfortable silence with one another, and as you looked into his eyes you could see his gaze wander and linger onto your smiling lips. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t do the same. Though covered in red makeup, you always admired how kind his smile was.

“Would you…” You started, your train of thought being interrupted by him again. Damn him and his pretty blue eyes.

Your hand moved from your side to rest on top of his as it rested at the side of your head so tenderly,

“Would you stay? I just…” You took a deep breath, collecting yourself as he sat next to you once more, your breakfast tray being moved to the side to give himself more room, “I need to know. Why have you not asked for…” You wracked your brain, trying to find the best way to ask without blatantly having to say it, “more, from me?”

He carefully cocked his head to the side, unsure for a few moments as to what you could’ve possibly meant. When his eyes moved to your lap, watching your thighs slowly and carefully rub together beneath your nightgown, he smirked.

“Is that what you want from me?” He asked you, his gaze returning to your eyes.

You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks, and you looked down to your lap to hide any emotion. You weren’t sure how to feel.

As much as you wanted to be able to give Buggy everything he needed, it seemed like he was treating you so much better than any other captain at any of the bars you had gone to ever had. He didn’t expect anything from you in return for him taking you in, and you adored how kind and respectful he was, but you were the one who wanted more. You couldn’t help it.

You shrugged, his finger moving to your chin, tilting it upwards to face him once more.

“Talk to me (y/n),” he said softly, “tell me what thoughts are racing through that pretty little head of yours.”

You took a deep breath and he sat there patiently waiting for you. He wanted to be able to make sure you were living your life to the fullest, anything you wanted you got, and he would make sure of it.

“You treat me differently than everyone else on your ship. You treat me differently than any other sea captain i’ve interacted with. I’ve seen the way you are with your crew, you’re demanding and you’re strong, and a little scary at times.” He chuckled and nodded, agreeing that his behavior with his crew could sometimes be less than rational, “You treat me better than anyone else. Every other captain that’s offered me a deal would always expect something from me in return, and i think you know what that is…” You quietly trailed off, and he could see that this was something that had been on your mind for a while.

You didn’t know why you wanted him so badly, but the way he was treating you was so unusual. At least to you it was. You were fully willing to give yourself to him whenever he asked for it, you figured it was part of your deal, but as the days had gone on he had given you your privacy and alone time, and it was lonely being by yourself at night.

“And you want to know why i haven’t asked for that from you yet, hm?” He asked.

You pursed your lips and nodded slowly. You weren’t sure what to say. Even without being able to fully finish your words, he understood exactly what you were implying.

“Well, a few reasons i suppose.” He moved his hands to hold yours gently in your lap, “The first one being, i respect you more than to just use you as my little pawn. You’re someone who has what so many other people want, and you’re someone who deserves to be shown that you’re more than a beautiful face.” He was talking sternly, seriously, he meant these things truly and deeply and you could feel him tense up as his hands held yours, “I didn’t want you to think that this partnership that we have means that i get to use you as i please, that i have the privilege of letting you be my little plaything and discarding you until you’re needed. I meant what i said in that bar (y/n), when i’m king of the pirates, i want you to be my queen. But that means nothing if it’s forced onto you.” You gave his hands a gentle squeeze, holding onto every word he was saying, “Your safety, your comfort, and your needs are more important to me than this deal we have, and i would never overstep a boundary just because i knew i could.”

You knew exactly why he hadn’t made any moves before.

It wasn’t because he only wanted you for your beauty to get him closer to the One Piece. It wasn’t because he only wanted you to be a pretty little pawn sitting at his side. It wasn’t because he didn’t think you were beautiful enough to warrant those kinds of advances. He had been giving you the time and the space you needed, everything you had asked for.

You were given your own room because you hadn’t said you wanted to share Buggy’s. You were given as much privacy and alone time as you wanted because you hadn’t said you wanted him there. You were always given nothing but the best from him and his crew, and you were more than grateful, but you hadn’t realized just how much control you had with your new found partnership.

Buggy was in charge of the ship and his crew, but you were in charge of Buggy. He would do anything your heart desired just to keep you happy.

“I’m sorry that you misunderstood me at the bar, but i want to make sure you understand this relationship clearly…” He turned his body to face you, the soft fabric of his gloves softly moved as he brought your hands up as he held them, looking into your eyes, “Whatever you want, you get. All you have to do is say the word.”

His gaze never left yours and you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. He was just waiting for you to say the word and he was ready and willing to do anything you asked.

“Whatever i want?” You asked, seeing his lips curl into a smile.

“Whatever you want.”

You softly smiled, not caring wether or not he could see how he was making you feel. So warm, so comforted, and though you could still hear the noises of the crew outside your door as they did their work for the day it felt like you were the last two people on earth. He made you feel like the only girl in the world.

“Even if it’s you?” You whispered to him, your eyes finally glancing down at his red painted lips.

He chuckled, and you thought you could see a bit of pink beneath the makeup on his cheeks. It was nice to finally see him flustered for once.

“If that’s what you wish for.”

You enjoyed the silence for a few moments, just basking in one another’s company like you had wished to since you arrived on the ship. Since you came aboard you hadn’t been able to be alone with one another for more than five minutes before one of the crew came rushing to find Buggy to tell him about a new island spotted or if another crew mate wasn’t doing the work that was expected of them. He liked the silence. He liked it with you.

“So…” You trailed off, the silence moving from comfortable to awkward, neither one of you knowing what to do next, “how do we go about this?”

“Well, for starters, i’ll have you and all of your things moved into my quarters. I see no point in leaving you all by your lonesome anymore.” Your eyes got wider and your smile was bigger just at the mention of not having to be cramped up all by yourself, “And of course you’ll get all the same normal treatment, but there will be a few changes with me.”

“Changes?” Your thumbs brushed over the soft fabric of the gloves on his hands, “Such as?”

“You’re going to be seeing me a lot more often than have been my love,” He lifted your hand to his lips and kissed the back of it, slowly working his way up your arm, kissing it after each new change, “we’ll share my bed, and you’re allowed to be as far away or as close to me as you like,” Your lips curled to a shy smile as he gently kissed your wrist, just imagining the warm feeling of getting to wake up in his arms each morning, “i’ll be at your beck and call, waiting to fulfill every need you have,” His lips moved to just below your elbow and a shiver ran over your body as he moved further upwards, “you’ll always be close to me, i’ll even have my freaks build you a throne so you’ll always be sitting pretty beside me,” You perked up at the thought of being able to sit and watch over the crew next to Buggy, everyone’s eyes on you just watching and waiting for you to make your rule, “and of course, every second you’re with me my dear, every waking moment that you’re here with me,” One gloved hand moved from yours to your chin, keeping it tilted up, making sure he had every ounce of your attention, “you’ll be getting every ounce of love, adoration, and worship that i have to offer.”

You were speechless.

Countless times, again and again, you’d have pirate captains and marine admirals profess their love to you. Crew mates and marines, even fish men and countless others had offered your their undying worship, but this was the first time you believed that someone wanted more than just the ability to say that they were the ones loving you.

Buggy knew you were more than that. And you could see that he really truly meant everything he said.

He didn’t want you because of your pretty face, he didn’t want you because you’re the most breathtaking creature to grace the earth on both land and sea. He wanted you for you. Everything that you had, he wanted. He loved you for more than your body, but for your soul, and he would spend hours, days, weeks, even years if it took that long to show you that he wanted to be the one worthy of having you want him too.

Your hands moved from his and for a quick moment the smile faded from his lips, only to return once he felt your soft fingertips graze his cheeks as you held him close,

“I want your love Buggy… Please?…”

Your breath was cut quickly by his lips pressing into yours, catching you so off guard that you nearly fell back onto the mattress, quickly catching yourself with your arms at your sides.

His lips were dry, yet soft, and you smiled at the gentle tickling of the stubble on his face as it grazed over yours. You couldn’t help but let out a small, needy whimper, finally feeling the rush of electricity run all through your body. And it was just from one kiss.

He pulled away from you slowly, a smile at his lips, and he couldn’t help but chuckle from seeing the little bit of red staining your lips from his makeup.

“I’m sorry,” His hand snaked behind your neck, holding it gently as he leaned down to you and pecked your lips, “I just couldn’t help it.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Your hands did the same, your fingers interlocking behind his neck as his body carefully adjusted over yours, “it’s exactly what i wanted…”

The position you were in was nothing short of provocative.

You arms around him while one of his hands held you close, the other holding him up on the bed as he was leaned over you, your bodies so close to one another. The nightgown that draped over your body had been pulled up to your thighs, and you were wishing he would just get it over with and rip it off of your body, but he was too gentle with you for that. He treated you like your body was made of glass, handling you so delicately like you would break at the slightest hint of pressure. It was actually quite a talent.

His hand slowly moved from your mattress to your thigh, the glove on his hand making you shudder as you felt the corduroy fabric slowly stroking over your thigh. Though you hadn’t even noticed it, your leg had slowly moved upwards, laying just over his hip. A smirk came to his lips as he looked at your lower body, and though he had the opportunity to take a peek between your legs and see the little wet spot on your panties that was entirely his doing, he had no interest in it. He was looking down at your legs, watching them slowly moving back and forth, one at his side and the other laid against the mattress. He was making you writhe, just from a few kisses and his hands on your legs, and he loved it.

“Buggy…” You pleaded with him, just needing him to touch you. He made it so sweetly unbearable to have to wait.

A chuckle escaped his lips and he slowly looked back up into your eyes, giving your body a quick once-over just to fully take in the sight before him.

“All in good time my love.” He leaned forward once more and placed a gentle kiss to your forehead, “First, i want you to get all settled into my quarters. Why don’t you change and put on one of those pretty outfits i have for you, i’ll grab some of the crew to move your things around.”

He fixed your nightgown back down your legs, taking your hand and carefully pulling you up, his glove wiping away the little red marks his lips left behind.

You took a deep breath, trying to push the feeling of want back down, knowing that he’d give you what you needed eventually. You stood up from the bed and wandered over to the small wardrobe, glancing over to Buggy who had moved himself into one of the chairs across the room. His legs were spread, he was leaned back comfortably, and his eyes never left your figure as a smirk came to his lips.

“Well aren’t you going to get some of the crew?” You asked him, sifting through the hangers in the wardrobe for the perfect little outfit to wear.

“And miss the show?” He chuckled, “I never said i was leaving sweetheart…”

[mysterious-ocarina]

Multi-Bitch

Chuuya Nakahara x reader

A/N my longest fic yet, I just couldn't stop writing. I love him so muuuuch. Fun fact, I only started the show because I saw a random edit of him and dazai and decided I needed a piece of that. also just got caught up on the manga and boy oh boy such a good story!!!

please give me recommendations for books to use as abilities or just abilities in general for bsd content

Main Masterlist BSD Masterlist Requests AO3

(3.7k words)

“You have got to be kidding me,” you groaned. “Out of all the Port Mafia members that you could have paired me with, why did it have to be him?”

Ranpo was sitting in front of you, happily enjoying his bag of chips. You were tempted to grab the bag from his hands but you were too nice of a person to do it.

“Because, you guys would be a good combative match,” he informed you, mouth full of food. “I already know where you two need to go and what to look for. The mission shouldn’t take long, even for idiots like you guys.”

You would have strangled Ranpo’s scrawny neck if Kunikida hadn’t stepped in. “Look, I know you don’t like working with the Port Mafia, much less him, but it needs to be done.”

Kunikida’s right. There was someone out there killing people without leaving any trace of being there.

“And we’re sure that this is an ability user and not something that the police can handle?” you asked. For all you know, it could just be a very thorough criminal. You were going to try anything to not do this mission, not that it will work.

“Am I ever wrong? Nope, so best run along,” Ranpo waved at you with a giggle.

You sighed before grabbing your stuff at your desk. You made your way to the cafe downstairs, waiting for your partner to arrive.

“Well, if it isn’t Multi-Bitch. Didn’t know you would be my partner for this,” the one and only Chuuya Nakahara voiced behind you.

“Keep calling me that and I’ll spill my coffee on you, it’s still hot,” you replied, refusing to turn around and acknowledge him. 

Chuuya took a seat next to you, “Do you know where we are supposed to go? I want to get this over with so I can get away from you faster.”

Being as professional as you could, you handed him a piece of paper with the address on it. “The ability user should be in this inn. We need to stake it out, and figure out which guest is the next target, then prevent anything from happening.”

“I don’t understand,” he replied.

“Of course you don’t. I wouldn’t expect someone as hot-headed as you to understand strategy,” you easily retorted back.

Fuming, getting close to your face, “I understand strategy, just not this one. How are we supposed to figure out who the next victim is?”

Pushing his face away from you with your finger, you coolly answer him, “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe we’ll find out the next victim when we watch a suspicious person trying to break into another person’s room. God, you are so incredibly dense.”

“You know, one day you’re going to get what’s coming for you. I would love to beat you in a fight,” Chuuya replied, red in the face with anger.

“Can’t wait,” you shrugged, getting up from your seat. “As exhilarating a fight with you might be, I think we both know which of us would end up the victor.”

“We can test that out right now,” Chuuya replied, grabbing your arm and pulling you into him.

You didn’t have a reply as you stared up at him. The hand on your arm felt like it was burning and there was some unknown feeling buzzing between the two of you. You opened your mouth to offer a mean retort but nothing came out.

“Let go of me, asshat,” you replied, instead. Seething, you ripped your arm from his grasp and made your way outside the cafe to get this mission started.

You didn’t dare look back to the man behind you, but you heard as he sighed and followed you out the doors.

Chuuya hopped onto his motorcycle. You tried to not focus on the way his hands gripped the handlebars and the way his thighs looked, straddling the machine. You hopped on too and wiped your hands on your pants, a nervous habit.

“Grab on to me tight, princess. Wouldn’t want you to fall off,” he paused, turning his face to look at you. “Actually, in that case, nevermind.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you barked, wrapping your hands around his waist. You could feel his stomach clench as he laughed at you.

The entire ride to the inn, you thought about the man in front of you. Sure, he pissed you off to no end, but that didn’t mean you were blind. He was certainly attractive, especially with the confidence he carried himself with. If you were to see him on the street, without knowing him, you would have thought he was your type.

That didn’t seem to matter though because he seemed to make it his life mission to piss you off. He antagonized you more than Dazai antagonized him, which was saying a lot. You two have never had any combat fights thankfully, ‘cause his ability could definitely overpower yours if he wanted to.

“We’re here,” he announced, parking his motorcycle. You let go of his waist and stretched your legs.

Chuuya stood, leaning against his bike, “How long do we have to wait?”

“I don’t think too long. All of the murders happen around this time so if we go by that information, they’ll be here within an hour,” you replied.

The both of you sat in tense silence, as you watched the inn for anything suspicious. Finally, you broke the silence, “Lemme ask you something.”

“Go ahead,” Chuuya waved his hand at you, clearly bored.

“Why are you so hostile to me? It can’t possibly be just ‘cause I’m in the agency,” you asked. You always wondered why the two of you had the kind of relationship you had. Most of the mafia and agency were pretty much indifferent to each other. The only serious discourse was between Atsushi and Akutagawa as well as Chuuya and Dazai. Then there's you and Chuuya, which doesn’t really feel like hate but it certainly does not feel warm and fuzzy.

“You’re so easy to bother, it’s funny to me,” he paused, as if he wanted to continue but chose not to elaborate.

“You hate me, just because it’s easy to,” you seethed, stepping up to him.

“Woah, woah. I never said I hated you, I just like to piss you off. You’re the one that hates me,” he defended himself, pointing a finger at you.

“I never said I hated you either,” you replied back. You grabbed his finger from in front of you, twisting it back until he yelled.

“You fucking Multi-Bitch. What the hell is wrong with you? How are you going to say you don’t hate me and then hurt me right after?” Chuuya seethed, holding his finger in front of his chest.

“Maybe because I just like to piss you off,” you mocked his earlier statement. “And quit calling me that.”

He got incredibly close to your face again. So close, you could feel his breath on your face. That unspoken tension buzzed between you again. You leaned forward, thinking about indulging in a fantasy you tried to bury deep within yourself. Chuuya seemed to stop breathing as you both stood there, sharing your breaths. Before either of you could do something unspeakable, Chuuya glanced behind you.

“Shit, look,” he grabbed you, pulling you behind a nearby car in the parking lot.

Facing away from him, red dusting your cheeks, you saw what he was talking about. A person walked to each window, looking through until they reached a room with occupants in it. Without touching the door, they opened it and walked inside.

As soon as you heard screaming, the two of you burst into action making your way to the room. You tried the door knob but it was locked.

“Chuuya,” you notified, before stepping back and pointing at the doorknob. He kicked the door down, startling the intruder.

Entering the room, you saw a woman and a small boy, presumably the people staying in this room, cowering in the corner of the room. Then you took in the man who was wearing a mask covering the bottom half of his face. This man, stood between you and the victims, arm outstretched towards a dagger floating in the air in front of him.

He turned to face you, pulling his face mask down. A crazed smile plastered on his face, “What do we have here?”

His voice sent shivers of disgust through you but you’ve dealt with worse so you steeled yourself.

Chuuya, without hesitation, replied, “Two people who are going to kick your ass.”

You sighed, annoyed, “Dude, there’s literally a child right there.”

He shrugged, as if to say oh well.

“Do you want to know why I was able to kill so many people without a trace of evidence?” the man asked, stepping away from the family and closer to you.

“Not really, but I bet you’ll tell us anyway,” you rolled your eyes, looking like the definition of nonchalant. In the corner of your eye, you saw Chuuya smirk at your attitude.

The man stepped closer to you. As uncomfortable as his proximity made you, each step further away from the victims was a small victory for you.

“Using my ability, I don’t have to touch anything. No fingerprints on the door, nor the blade I use. You would be surprised how easy it is to evade getting caught by only simply not leaving fingerprints,” the man rambled. 

You and Chuuya shared a look. A telekinetic ability user shouldn’t be too hard for the two of you but you need to get the victims out of harm's way as soon as possible.

“You know, most people would use their telekinesis to get the tv remote when they're lying down. I guess most people aren’t psychotic like you,” you smirked.

Before the man could reply, Chuuya ran at the man, aiming a kick to his stomach. Knowing that Chuuya can handle a decent fight, you used his distraction to get to the woman and boy.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you out of here,” you whispered. You wiped a tear from the boy’s face and gave him a soft, comforting smile. You grabbed his hand and gave the woman a smile too. Once the woman and child were outside and safe, you made your way back into the motel room.

The man had straddled Chuuya and had his dagger dangerously close to Chuuya’s neck. Coming up behind the man, you wrapped your legs around him before flipping him over behind you. While he was disoriented, you grabbed Chuuya’s hand, helping him up.

“I had that,” Chuuya complained, dusting scuff marks off his pants.

“Sure you did,” you rolled your eyes, sticking your tongue out at him.

Before Chuuya could retort, the man got up. Both you and Chuuya got ready for more fighting.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” you questioned, holding your hand out.

“I think so, princess,” Chuuya replied, grabbing your hand tightly in his.

You let your ability loose, watching as multiple exact copies of yourself and Chuuya materialized around the room. Chuuya had you and your copies lightly hovering over the man, towering over him.

“Over here,” you giggled, your voice echoing from all directions of the room from each copy of you.

You watched the man look around his surroundings wildly, not knowing which copy was the real one.

“I may not be able to hurt you because of your ability, boy,” the man seethed. “But I can certainly harm your lady friend.”

Before either of you could move, you watched as the man controlled his dagger, making it fly through the air into each of your copies, too fast to dodge.  One by one, each of your copies dematerialized as they were hit with his flying dagger, until eventually you felt a sharp pain right below your stomach. 

Letting go of Chuuya’s hand to hold your stomach, you fell to the ground.

“Stupid bitch, you really thought you could beat me. I must take your lives in place of the two you guys saved,” the man chuckled.

You looked down at your hands on your stomach, gagging at the amount of blood covering them. Not able to think straight, you weren’t entirely too sure what happened but you could see a blur of a fight until Chuuya was straddling the man.

You couldn’t move, and it was then when you realized why there was no sign of struggle in any of the victims. There was a paralytic chemical laced on the blade. You coughed up blood, alerting Chuuya.

“Shit, it’s gonna be fine, princess,” Chuuya panicked. He crawled towards you, reaching for your stomach. You grabbed his hand the best you could in your state.

“Chu-” you coughed again, eyes becoming glassy. “Don’t touch it. There’s something on it that paralyzes his victims.”

“Well what the hell do I do then? We need to stop the bleeding, I’ll call the agency. That doctor girl of yours should be able to help, right?” Chuuya rattled. His anxiety was palpable but you felt eerily calm.

“L-look how bad I’m bleeding. They won’t get here in time,” you coughed again. You could taste the blood in your mouth. “Didn’t know getting stabbed in the stomach could be so bad.”

Chuuya sent out a quick text before giving you a half hearted chuckle, “Still sassy as ever with your own blood covering your front.”

“It’s my best quality,” you lightly boasted. You felt light-headed, “I’m tired, Chuuya.”

You let your head rest against the wall behind you.

“Oh no, princess. Don’t close your eyes,” Chuuya quickly instructed. He pushed some hair away from your blood soaked mouth. Voice cracking, “Who am I supposed to argue with, if you’re not here.”

“There’s always Dazai,” you chuckled, earning an eye roll in response. “I-I never hated you, Chuuya. Actually, I quite enjoy our light-hearted banter. It makes me feel like a normal person, not some gifted powerhouse, capable of murder.”

You never heard his response as you slipped into unconsciousness.

“Well if it isn’t Port Mafia Exec. Chuuya Nakahara. . . again,” Dazai commented. He had walked up to your infirmary bed, only to find Chuuya in the uncomfortable chair beside your bed. He had bags under his eyes.

Yosono was able to fix you up, considering how close to death you were, but you still hadn’t woken up a few days later. Chuuya had refused to leave your bedside, surprising not only himself but those of the agency.

“Shut it, asshole,” Chuuya replied, not in the mood to deal with his former partner.

“Why are you still here?” Dazai questioned, getting into Chuuya’s face. “Hoping she dies and you can bring information to the boss.”

“I don’t know why I’m here. I just know that I’m not leaving till she’s awake,” Chuuya replied in a hostile voice. His own feelings were confusing him.

“Aw, do you like our dear y/n?” Dazai teased.

“Do you need something, asshole?” Chuuya hastily replied, dodging the question.

“You’re as transparent as always. I know you well enough to know how you feel,” Dazai bragged about his intelligence.

Lacking a response, Chuuya just rolled his eyes with a groan. Taking pity on the poor man, Dazai dropped a bag of food on your bed in front of Chuuya.

“There’s food for you and her. I know you haven’t eaten and neither has she. She’ll probably wake up today,” Dazai waved his hands at Chuuya.

Ignoring the fact that Dazai was nice enough to get him food, he questioned, “How the hell do you know that?”

“‘Cause, I know everything,” Dazai boasted.

“God, I hate you,” Chuuya seethed. Dazai simply left the room, laughing as he went.

You opened your eyes, quickly shutting them as you were blinded by the bright lights. You could recognize the clean smell of the agency infirmary, meaning you were in fact alive. You could feel an IV hooked up to your arm and a heavy weight in your hand.

You groaned, trying to stretch your muscles but feeling too tired to be able to.

“Well, rise and shine, princess,” you heard a familiar rasp. You opened your eyes fully to see a tired looking Chuuya. “I have food for us to eat.”

“What the hell happened?” you questioned. With a groan, you tried to sit up. Chuuya placed his hands on your back to help you up. You welcomed the warmth of his body so close to you.

“Well, after y-you were. . . hurt, I was able to get Dazai and your doctor. She was able to fix you immediately but you’ve been asleep for a few days. She said that even though she fixed your injuries, the stress on your body would make you in need of rest,” Chuuya explained. He opened up the food bag and handed you a burger. His hand was shaking and you weren’t sure why.

“A few days?” you questioned, taking a bite of your burger, moaning at the delicious taste.

Chuuya hummed an affirmative, taking a bite of his burger. Neither of you said anything as you both sat and ate. You were still hungry after your burger and fries so Chuuya gave you the rest of his burger.

You cleared your throat, “Have you been here the whole time?”

“Yup,” Chuuya replied, refusing to look you in the eye.

“Chuuya~” you sang, teasingly. “Did you want to make sure that your favorite detective was going to stay alive?”

“Well it’s not hard to be my favorite detective when the rest of your colleagues are asswipes, especially a certain suicidal maniac,” Chuuya grunted, not denying anything, arms crossed against his chest.

“I’m honored to be your favorite,” you giggled. “I think you’re my favorite psycho mafia member.”

You watched as crimson covered his cheeks and ears before he turned to face you again, pouting, “Hey, I am not a psycho.”

You hummed, dubiously, “To be debated.”

“Whatever. God, you’re so annoying,” Chuuya replied, not able to hide the smile that was beginning to form on his face.

“Seriously, I’m glad you’re awake,” he nervously informed you, making crimson cover your face this time. “Did you mean what you said, about not hating me?”

“I meant it all,” you replied, confidently. Tired of hiding your feelings from yourself, you were going to be transparent. You grabbed his free hand, holding in yours.

Chuuya stared at your joined hands, seemingly in thought. Eventually he spoke up, “I was really worried about you. Especially because you were talking like you were going to die, which I knew I didn’t want to happen.”

Taking the initiative, you pulled Chuuya’s hand bringing him closer to you.

Face still red, he smirked at your boldness. He closed the distance until your faces were inches apart.

“Earlier, when we were in this position, I wanted to kiss you,” Chuuya whispered. So you weren’t the only one who felt the tension. Good to know.

“What stopped you?” you whispered back.

“Your annoying face,” Chuuya smirked, before closing the distance further.

You shouldn’t have expected any less from Chuuya but he kissed you with passion. It was not a soft and gentle kiss. It was like making out with the devil.

The butterflies in your stomach released with a moan coming out of your mouth. Chuuya smirked, pulling away. He gave you a soft second kiss before backing all the way up.

“Wow,” you said with a sigh. Chuuya gave you a smile. You wiped the smile off his face by saying, “No wonder you were single. Your kissing skills could use some work.”

“God, what is wrong with you?” he groaned. It was your turn to smirk now, which was soon replaced with a smile when he questioned, “Were single?”

“Well, of course. Do you expect me to share my mafia executive?” you asked. Chuuya gave you an eye roll.

“Then if my kissing skills could use some work, can I practice on you, Multi-bitch?” he laughed.

You grabbed the collar of his shirt, bringing him closer to you, “Only if you stop calling me that.”

“Never,” he replied, before swooping in to kiss you again.

BONUS

You were sitting at your ADA desk, finishing paperwork that you were behind on since your injury. You were simply minding your business but when Dazai is around, that doesn’t seem to matter.

“Soooo. . .” Dazai scooted his chair closer to you. “How are you feeling, Juliett?”

“You talking to me? Who the hell is Juliette?” you questioned the maniac in front of you.

“You know, like Romeo and Juliett,” Dazai easily answered. He had a wide smile on his face, making him look more sadistic than over.

You rolled your eyes, “I’m not committing suicide with you. Leave me alone.”

He scoffed at your answer, “First of all, I only ask pretty woman to commit suicide with me. That’s not what I meant. I was talking about you and that waste of space of my ex-partner. If you’re Juliett and he’s Romeo, then that makes the agency the Capulets and the mafia the Montagues. But that doesn’t make sense because I imagine the agency to be blue and the mafia to be red.”

You flicked his forehead, stopping him from continuing his stupid thought. You groaned, exasperated, “Shut the hell up.”

“I’m just saying. I knew you guys would be a perfect match from the start. I am the one who suggested you two for that mission,” Dazai boasted.

“And how the hell would you know we would be a match,” you sighed. You understood Chuuya’s exasperation when it came to the suicidal maniac.

“Because. I just know everything,” Dazai claimed. You got up to smack him in the face. He held his cheek with a pout.

When you sat back down, you saw your phone screen light up with a text message.

Can’t wait to see you later, princess.

You smiled, replying with a that makes one of us :)

[littlespacereader]

I’m finally up to date with Doctor Who and I literally love the 15th Doctor and his vibe so much that I literally whipped this together in a day. I’m thinking of possibly making this a mini series like my Supernatural fic and just keep adding to it. Let me know what you think!! Please enjoy💞

The Cafe Caregiver ☕️🍼🍪

Caregiver!Fifteenth Doctor & GN Little!Reader (SFW)

Tags - regression refusal/acceptance, sippy cups, fluff, cybermen (at the end), cookies, the doctor has a thousand nicknames for you, he just finds you adorable, you wear his coat

Nicknames - darling, little one, sweetheart, munchkin, pumpkin, sweet one, love

Some people don’t understand that when it comes to a Little regressing, it isn’t always convenient or vise versa we want to regress but don’t have the time to do so.

I’m sadly the latter of the two options. I’ve spent the last four years in college, sometimes regressing at night after long tiring classes. Now right out of college I’ve been running from job to job, with little to no time to regress.

Regression, well, it started to become an afterthought. Not that I wanted it to, but life didn’t seem to be giving me an opportunity to pause and breathe enough to regress and relax.

Tonight was no different. I just finished another long and tiring work day at the office. Since I’m new I get the pleasure of staying super late, even after everyone else leaves. The life of an intern.

I was making my way down the building to head back to my flat. But I paused in the lobby, looking through the big tall windows at the pouring rain outside.

There was no rain in the forecast? How did I miss this? I mean I only have myself to blame. It’s London, of course it’s raining. And better yet, of course I don’t have a rain coat or umbrella or even a coat to help me stay warm.

So here I was, running like a wet dog down the side way, trying to catch the last bus to my apartment. I ran and I ran and I ran, as fast as my legs would take me down the dark sidewalk illuminated only by the street lamps.

My bus stop was in sight and better yet, my bus was parked right next to the sign. I waved my hands like crazy and yelled out to the bus to stay for just a second longer. But I watched as the bus took off.

I just froze and watched as my bus grew smaller and smaller into the distance. I stood, in the empty bus stop, in the pouring rain, with no jacket to keep me warm and no way home. I was completely in awe of the events.

I honestly wanted to cry. I just wanted to stomp my feet and start crying. But I couldn’t, not yet. I pushed my regression down for a moment. I need a place to gather my thoughts and figure out what I was going to do. But most importantly I needed to get out of the rain.

It was hard to see with the rain coming down as hard as it was. Plus it was late, most shops had turned in for the night.

Just as it felt as though all hope was lost, I spotted a tiny shop across the street with its lights still on. So checking both ways before crossing, I ran across the street and over to the cafe.

The door flung open with a little ding of the bell on top announcing my presence to everyone inside. That…being…no one. The cafe was shockingly empty. You would think it would be full of people like myself trying to escape the rain.

I wiped my feet as best as I could on the mat, I made my way over to the counter. I wrapped my arms infront of me, trying desperately to keep myself somewhat warm. But it was hard to when I was soaking wet and they had the ac on for some reason. Needless to say I started to shiver badly.

I stopped at the counter and looked around. There was no one to be seen. The place was empty. There was no one at the front and there was no noise of people working in the back. The place would’ve been silent if it wasn’t for the soft music playing from a radio on the counter.

There was a bell on the counter next to the register. Maybe they really didn’t know someone was at the front? Just when I went to hit the tiny bell…

Ding!

The bell to the front door dings as a man enters the cafe He paused at the door and takes in my soaked form. Then he said something that made my heart sink and my body freeze.

“Little one, what happened to you?” He asked so genuinely concerned.

I just stared back at I’m utter shock. No one in my life knows about my regression, no one. And here he was saying it so out in the open as if I had a name tag that said “Y/N, a Regressor”

“What?” I asked as my brain started to spiral out. Maybe I just heard him wrong. Maybe I was imagining things.

“Why are you soaking wet? You’re going to catch a cold! Here,” He pulled off his long tan leather coat and draped it across my shoulder. “This should keep you warm.”

He talked with such a gentle and caring tone. He spoke as if he had knew me for years. The coat felt so warm and cozy around my frozen figure. It was almost like a weighted heating blanket.

Finally I found the courage to talk out of my shock, “I didn’t know it was going to rain.” I said with a voice that sounded so small and vulnerable.

“Didn’t-Didn’t know it was going to rain? In London?” He chuckled. “Darling how long have you been here? It’s always going to rain in London. It’s hard to have a clear day here.”

“I…I didn’t remember to bring an umbrella.” I looked down as I tried to stop myself from crying. There was something about the man that just made me start to regress immediately, like the straw that broke the camels back. I felt like I couldn’t hold back anymore. Especially not after everything that’s happened up till this.

“Oh. Oh sweetheart it’s okay. It’s okay, you’re okay. Come here.” He held his arms out for me and I immediately went into them.

He wrapped me in a tight hug as I just cried into the man’s neck. He rubbed my back and rocked me as he whispered reassurance to me. “It’s okay darling. It’s okay. You’re safe, I promise.”

After letting all the terrible and sad emotions out, I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked back at the kind man. He smiled with a warm look of compassion and kindness. He caressed my cheek and wiped the tears away.

“I’m sorry,” I started to say.

“There’s no need to be.”

“I’ve…I’ve just had a horrible day. My job keeps me so late unnecessarily, I didn’t know it was going to rain so I’m soaked, my bus left me here and now I…I don’t know what to do.” I cried to him. I shook my head as more tears fell.

“You don’t need to worry any longer about any of that. We’re going to get you warmed up and back home safe in no time. Okay?” He smiled moving his hands from holding my face to holding my hands in his.

I nodded my head and squeezed his hands back. For having just met the Caregiver I felt an overwhelming feeling of safety with him.

“But for now I have to ask, it’s been a while since you’ve regressed hasn’t it?”

I nodded again, feeling almost ashamed at the admission.

He hummed in agreement, “You don’t need to worry anymore. I’m here to help make it all better Little one. You just regress and I’ll take care of everything else okay?”

Oh God how I wanted to scream yes, how I wanted to just start crying again because someone could see me for what I was, which is an overwhelmed Regressor.

But I settled for a nod again and a small smile.

But there was still some unanswered questions that stopped me for a moment. For example, “Wait,” I squeezed his hand again. “How did you know?”

“Know what darling?”

“That I’m a Regressor? How did you know?” I mean this guy literally just walked in, looked at me and immediately was like “Oh look a Regressor!”

“Where I’m from regression isn’t something so hidden or lesser known than you think. Truth be told I haven’t seen a Regressor like yourself in a long time. It was a refreshing change seeing you. I guess the Caregiver side of me couldn’t stop itself from helping. I’m sorry if I was a bit to forward.”

I shook my head, “No, don’t be. I think your just what I needed, especially after everything.”

He smiled, “Good, I’m honored to be.”

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“I’m the Doctor,” he smiled, “What’s your name sweet one?”

“I’m Y/N.”

“It’s lovely to meet you Y/N. Now, let’s get something warm in you. My coat is warm but it’s not enough to keep a cold away.”

With my hand in his, he lead me back to the abandoned counter of the cafe. “I think a nice cup of tea would be good for the both of us don’t you think?”

He stopped and looked around the quiet cafe. I chimed in, “I don’t think anyone’s here. When I arrived there was no one around and there still isn’t.”

“Strange… Did you ring the bell?” He points out.

I shook my head. “I was about to before I met you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry for interrupting you. Would you like to do the honors?” He gestures to the bell.

I couldn’t help but smile at the gesture. Of course my little self wanted to ring the hell out of that bell, so I did. I hit the bell once, no one came over. So I rang it about another 50 times. Still nothing.

I looked back at The Doctor confused and he looked at me just as confused. Just as he was about so say something a man appeared out of no where.

“Good evening,” the man said in a robotic tone, “How many I help you?”

The man looked human but there was something very off about him. He talked like a robot, he was emotionless and I don’t think he was even blinking. I stared at the guy as I tried to figure out what he was or if he was actually human.

“Hey,” The Doctor nudged me, “It’s rude to stare you know.”

“Is he even real?” I whispered to The Doctor.

“Of course he is! He’s standing infront of us isn’t he?” He pointed out, but it didn’t answer my questions.

But before I spoke up again, he began to order for us, “We’ll get two cups of tea, one in the cup and another in a sippy cup. I’ll take a croissant and they’ll take a chocolate chip cookie.”

I immediately pulled on his arm, “A sippy cup?!”

He looked at me with a raised eye brow, “Do you think you’re old enough to be holding a glass tea cup right now?”

I looked at him with a defiant look and he looked back at me with the same eye brow raise. But the problem is he was right and he knew and I knew it.

So instead of admitting he was right, I just started to blush and turn my head and body toward his shoulder.

I could hear the smirk in his voice, “That’s what I thought love.” He looked over at the robot…I mean the guy, “That will be it for us thanks.”

“Please have a seat. I will return with your items shortly.”

With that The Doctor led us over to a booth to sit in. Once seated I looked back over at the counter and the guy seemly disappeared again.

“Are you sure he’s not a robot?”

“What if he is? What would be the issue with a robot?”

“What is a robot doing working at a café in London?! And why does it look so lifelike?!” I asked as if it wasn’t obvious.

“Maybe he couldn’t find work on other planets?” He suggested.

That stopped me for a moment, “Other planets?”

“Here is your order sir,” the robot…I mean guy appeared out of thin air. It was so much of a surprise that I jumped a bit from the shock of it.

“Here we are,” The Doctor said taking all of our cups and plates from the tray, “Thank you very much.” He said paying the bill to the very real guy.

“Please let me know if you need anything else.” And with that the robot guy walked away.

“Strange,” I said more to myself than to anyone else.

Before I could even touch anything The Doctor waved this strange device over our food and drinks before looking at it. The device was blue and it made a weird noise.

“What’s that?” I asked with a tilt of my head.

“This is my sonic screwdriver. It can scan for dangerous things and can unlock plenty of other things.”

“Are…do you think the robot guy poisoned us?”

“No! No, the “robot guy” is just that, a robot guy who serves us tea. But with everything in life I like to keep a close and careful eye out for anything.” He explained.

“Like a certain someone trying to sneak a piece of cookie before they’ve had a drink of their tea.” The Doctor added with the raise of an eye brow.

I pulled my hands away from the cookie and blushed like crazy being caught in the act. I turned and picked up my sippy cup. The cup made me feel so Little. The cup, the way the Doctor was caring for me, it all seem to hit me like a train at that moment.

Here I was sitting at a public cafe with a sippy cup in hand and being taken care of by a Caregiver. It was enough to really have me sink into my headspace.

Soon regression started to sink around me like nice warm weighted blanket. I leaned back in the booth and started to drink the nice warm tea from the sippy cup.

The Doctor sat across from me with a smirk on his face as he sipped his own tea. “See,” he said putting his cup down, “You have nothing to worry about. Just let me take care of everything for you munchkin while you take the time you need to regress okay?”

I nodded, still not letting the sippy cup fall from my lips. The tea was amazing and just what I needed to warm me up.

The Doctor leaned forward and started to break apart my cookie into smaller easier pieces to eat. Once finished the two of us started to dig in. I ate the small pieces of my cookie while he ate his croissant.

Soon the two of us were finished. It was getting late, and between that and the nice warm cup of tea and jacket I was slowly starting to nod off at the table. Something that didn’t miss The Doctor’s careful attention.

“I think it’s about time we get you back home and in bed. Don’t you think?” The Doctor smirked.

I nodded, taking the empty sippy cup and putting it back on the table. The Doctor and I stood up from the booth, but right away he could see I wasn’t too strong on my feet. So he decided to lend a hand.

“Is it okay if I pick you up pumpkin?” He politely asked.

I nodded right away, too tired to want to walk back to my flat anyway.

The Doctor lifted me up and onto his hip with ease. “There we go,” I heard him say as I started to relax against him.

He turned to the interesting robot guy, “We’re all set here. Thank you again. Cheers.” And with that he walked us out of the café.

The robot guy continued to watch as we left.

~~~

Thankfully the rain had stopped. The Doctor walked down the deserted sidewalk with me in his arms half asleep. “Now, where do you live?”

I mustered all the energy I could and lifted my head up to tell him the address. Once I did I looked up and over The Doctor’s shoulder to see the café worker. I jumped in The Doctor’s arms which soon got his attention too.

He turned around and witnessed the man. We were a bit away from the cafe now thankfully. With his hair pulled back we could see there was something attached to his face. Something silver with blue lights.

“Doctor?” I asked as anxiety gripped me. I held onto him a little tighter.

“We’re…we’re going to have to make a little detour to your flat Y/N.” He said in a voice that was doing a poor job of covering up worry.

“Hold onto me tightly.” He instructed before he took off down an alley way running. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my head against his shoulder.

“What’s going on?” I asked in a trembling voice.

“It seems our cafe friend seems to be working for an old enemy of mine called the Cybermen.”

“Cybermen? Who are the Cybermen?”

“Something we don’t want to meet and something too scary for someone as young as you right now. But there’s no need to worry. I promised to take care of you and I never break my promises.”

He continued to run from one alley way to another. In the distance I could hear mental feet marching toward us.

“Where are we going?”

“Well I can’t bring you back to your home with the Cyberman following us. But that just means I’ll have to bring you to my home.”

“Your home?”

I lifted my head up and looked ahead of us. There was nothing there. The alleyway was empty except for an old blue police telephone box at the end of it.

[kitschysandglass]

Justice Lords AU Jon/Damian Drabble

Lord! Jon / The Demon’s Head! Damian

Prompt: Faked Relationships + Arranged Marriage

So a friend give me this prompt and urged me to write this. Started as a drabble then some how ends in a short fic. 

Might post the whole thing on AO3 once finished. It’s a pure fluff crack fic. If I can write romance comedy in Superlords AU I can do anything.

+Based on JLU animation setting. I refuse to acknowledge the comic sequel in JL beyond

Enjoy!

 +++

 “I need you to marry me.”

By this, the Kryptonian nearly toppled and fell from where he was floating in midair, if that was something could be done.

“What?!” he squeaked, absolutely dumbfounded.

“Well, not marry me, to be exact,” the Demon’s Head waved a hand in a very much dismissive way, as if they were just talking about weather, “An engagement, more like it.”

Gawking, the young lord Jon-El, son of the supreme Lord Superman, watched his best friend, former mentor and the current leader of League of Assassins, Damian al Ghul, with sheer amount of disbelief.

He had known there was something in Damian’s mind the second he dropped by in the courtyard of Narda Parbat base, as his friend had not even complained when being pulled into a suffocatingly tight embrace, rather been eyeing him with a wistful silence - which was why Jon had offered a short flight, and ended it by stopping at their favorite spot on the mountainside, for a sparring session or whatever Damian felt like.

He had not expect that ‘something’ to be this, however.

“Where did that even come from?” Jon furrowed incredulously, hovering closer to the older male.

Damian’s lips pressed into a thin line, the corners of his mouth slightly tilted down in dismay. Jon noticed that he was putting on his I-have-a-favor-to-ask-but-I’m-the-Demon’s-Head-so-I-only-order-people-around face.“Mother has been pestering me with the topic of marriage and suitable consorts, again, lately.”

Jon blinked. Sometimes he really couldn’t understand what was with Talia’s temporary obsession about her son’s non-exist marital status, considering herself had never married, at least not formally, but - “Oh, okay, it’s not something hard to solve though. I can just —”

“You’re not going to kill another daughter or son of some significant political figure just because I said ‘they annoyed me so’, or lobotomize them,” Damian cut off curtly, voice cold and harsh, “Mother was quite upset the last time you’ve done this. We’ve spent months to neutralize the consequences, and I don’t think your father appreciated it very much either.”

“Dad doesn’t appreciate a lot of things.”

Damian sighed, ignoring his quip. “And you’re not going to kill mother,” he paused, before adding another warning, “As well as your father. We’ve been over this before.”

Jon deflated, then pouted like spoiled child. “Fine. It’s not like I hate aunt Tal, you know, just the option’s open at anytime.”

“Yes, Jon, I have no doubts that you’d do anything for me,” said Damian dryly, arm crossed, with barely a nick of sarcasm, “Which is why pretending to be my betrothal should at least be one of them.”

It was true, and they both knew it by hearts. The young Kryptonian would do literally everything and anything in his power, or die tried beyond his power to fulfill what Damian al Ghul had wished for; whether it was a country, the world, or stars and moon – he would bring them all down and offered before the Demon’s Head’s throne, with simply a word rolling off the other man’s tongue.

But it did not mean he would waste a chance to haggle.

“Um, yep. I just can’t figure out how and when did I come into the scheme.”

Damian’s shoulder tensed, yet eased down within seconds once more, and begrudgingly he started, “Well, in hope of ending this kind of conversations once and for all, I’ve may or may not told mother that I’m already betrothed to someone on my own behalf.”

Dead silence suddenly hanged down between the two of them, until Jon spoke softly, in the end.

“Dami, it hurt me to say this, but sometimes you’re really stupid,” he said in the most earnest and genuine voice.

The Demon’s Head resumed talking without a comment, only tapped one finger on the hilt of the Kryptonite dagger, sheathed at the side of his belt, displaying a clear attitude. “And I would like to make sure we’re both aware of the... detailed information about this relationship, since we’ll finally inform mother our engagement at dinner tonight, and she might have the curiosity for further inquiries.”

“Right. Sure, even though I still haven’t agreed on a single part here, but go on.” Jon chirped in a deliberately sickening sweet tone.

This earned him a threatening glare, which Jon blew out a raspberry in return, then floated even higher. Damian could not actually be angry with him when nothing had happened, moreover, when he was the one who had a favor to ask. True to the belief, his sole response was a familiar tutting sound, and the emerald eyes moved away to gaze at the mountains afar. After another minute of peaceful quietness, Damian eventually spoke and dropping the bombshell. “For your reference, we’ve been secretly engaged for several years by now.”

“Whoa, we have?”

Without batting an eye, Damian continued in an uncannily even and nonchalant tone. “To be more specific, we had confessed and exchanged our vows when you were nineteen. The year you paid a visit when I was in Europe, and we spent the summer together.”

“Oh Rao I can’t believe I’m hearing this,” Jon muttered under his breath. Just then he stilled, eyes widened, head perked up, and a dawning realization struck like a lighting, “Wait, is that one time you almost fell off from the Eiffel Tower?”

“Yes, that one time you almost dropped me off from the Eiffel Tower,” Damian spat, “But also no, it should be later, in Greece.”

“Parthenon?”

“Parthenon.”

“Was it before or after the accident that we nearly set it on fire? You know, together, by mistake, and somehow my fault was not in the larger proportion there.”

At last, the unwavering mask of indifference was cracked by the recollection of that particular incident. Damian winced. He opened his mouth while in search of a comeback, or any evidence for correction in details. There was none, and the only option he left was grunting like an ill-tempered cat.

“After that, possibly,” he mumbled through gritted teeth.

“Must be quite romantic then, I can imagine,” said the young lord in a sing-song voice, beaming with satisfaction.

Damian huffed with a sneer inside. “Indeed, everything seems extremely romantic after being at each other’s throat in a literal manner for the past thirty minutes.”

“I didn’t start that. I was just messing around with you.”

“If by ‘messing around’ you mean as ‘practicing homicide’.”

“Well it’s not me who thought it was a great idea to—” he feigned a surprised yelp when being suddenly dragged down by his cape. Did Jon see that coming? Of course. Could he dodge it? No problem. He could even stay still like a solid concrete and start a tug-of-war in air, but then Damian’s embarrassment might turn into true enragement. Thus he chose to offer the cheekiest smile to those blazing green eyes, now on horizontal level with and an inch too close, “’right, sorry, please do continue.”

Those eyes scrutinized his face for a while longer, before Damian’s own expression softened. He loosened the grip, yet refrained from completely let go of the silky white fabric, still holding it gently between his fingers. Following the subtle cue, Jon set feet to the ground and straightened up a little, as though being anchored by the hand that pulled him down.

“That makes the anniversary of our engagement on the 23rd of July,” and so Damian returned to the previous topic while thoroughly disregarding the small interlude, “Which is why we generally spent summer together since then.”

“Is it? Wait, we’re not actually engaged in the past few years, right? Are we?” Damian just stared at him, unimpressed by the display of idiocy.

“I assure you, we aren’t,” he then released the cape, “However, half a truth often makes up a great lie, and it works perfectly in this case.”

“And I thought we pretty much spent every summer together.”

“We didn’t. Not since you went back with your father when you were twelve,” Jon grimaced at that reminder, “Truthfully, I never know what’s your excuse whenever you disappeared for at least a whole month.”

The Kryptonian snorted.

“Dad doesn’t really care about what I’m doing as long as I’m not wrecking havoc to worsen his migranine. That is, since the whole Elite incident years ago,” he then paused for a few hesitant seconds. Jon-El slightly tilted head to met with the other’s eyes, as he was levitating on tip-toes in subconscious once again, “I have no quarrel with pretending to be your ‘betrothal’ or whatever, D, though clearly it’s one of your dumbest idea. But hey! Sounds fun! And the story totally sells, on some levels. Just you know nothing’s gonna be merely ‘fake boyfriend’ trope when it comes to our families, right?”

“Might as well,” Damian hummed, and he dared to start the explanation shamelessly under his friend’s now confused gaze, “It’s obvious that the Justice Lords are reconsidering their current partnership with the League and Leviathan. I doubt mother is too happy about some ‘trivial disagreements’ in recent as well, and I don’t always see eye to eye with people on either side.”

Jon stared at him. Damian stared back. The pregnant silence stretched longer this time, until Jon gasped loudly, eyes wide with disbelief. He dashed so high up into the air before dived down again in an instant.

Damian cursed in Arabic while busily trying to dust off the snow now covering his hair and robe, caused by the rapid gush of wind. Jon paid him no mind.

“Wow. Okay. Hold on. I can’t believe you’ve just talked me into a political marriage,” he half-shrieked, half-spluttered into the other’s ears, “Is this actually your mom’s idea? Am I in the ‘suitable consorts’ list?! Didn’t aunt Tal remark on how I’m never going to be a ‘passable husband material’ last month when I told that story about Beacon?”

“I’m pretty sure she still holds the same opinion,” Damian grumbled with a wince on his face. He pushed him away for a little, in sake of the eardrums, “Look, it’s not like the wedding will happen anytime soon. We’re just going to make the contract part official.”

“Ugh,” Jon pulled a face, “Why? Why’re you doing this to me? You know how much I hate those political stuff and formal occasions, and I hate to start anything that’s closer to a serious conversation with dad or the other lords. Why? Did I do something wrong? Are you still mad about that research station I had accidentally blown off? Or is it because I refused to help you sneak into the Fortress last time? You know you’ve already been there plenty of times!”

A muscle jumped on the Demon’s jaw when a certain event was mentioned, yet the only reaction he let out in the end was a sigh. “I’m still mad about that research station you had accidentally blown off, but that’s not the reason.”

“And it’s not mother’s idea, either. To be honest, I don’t think she’ll be rejoiced to hear this arrangement. Doubtlessly she has other plans in mind,” reluctant as he was, seeing Jon was still watching him skeptically, Damian could only supplied with another confession, “If that makes you feel better, I didn’t consider much when the ‘secretly bethrothed’ thing blurted out. I’m merely turning an impulsive mistake into a tactical strategy.”

“And you think your mom’s gonna agree with this? Since now it’s clear that I’m not an optional son-in-law in her ‘mother’s choice’ edition.”

“That is, exactly the cause behind our romantic backstory. I know this sounds unreal, but given the past record of herself, mother actually has a soft spot when it comes to the heart’s cause,” for a second, Damian looked like he wanted to avert his gaze to elsewhere and took aback everything had happened. He continued nonetheless, “I have to admit, considering the talk of marriage will eventually come up sooner or later, it’s much better to know that we’re in this together.”

The young lord did not respond. He remained completely still, the tip of his shoes left shallow grazes on the snow since he was hovering a few inches apart from the ground. The only sound he made was the sound of the pale white cape billowing in wind.

Jon-El snapped out from whatever outer body experience he was going through when Damian gently laid a hand on to his shoulder. He looked down at the hand, then back to Damian’s face, back upon at the hand on his shoulder again, and abruptly retreated a huge step back. The sky blue eyes flared a tint of red for a fleeting moment, as he sent Damian a menacing look right before he took lift with a sonic boom. It was a “just-watch-me-leave-you-here-and-try-to find-a-way-down-on-your-own” look, which the al Ghul was entirely capable of, since he was nine. However, Damian knew better than wasting energy unnessarily on a self-solved problem.

He yawned, counting seconds in mind while watching the shadowcasts of cloud flowing through the rugged silhouette of the mountains.

It took around two minutes and fourty-seven seconds for that monotone and crimson blur to reappear in the edge of his sight. Jon soared back and landed in front of him, raven black hair in a wind-blown state, with a light frown on his face, and the rest was unreadable. He puffed, finally, shoulder slumped in compromise.

“Alright. Fine. But you better give me a very nice ring.”

“That can be arranged.” Damian smiled smugly, which replied by another eye-rolling.

“Dad’s gonna be so pissed, and aunt Kara too. Kon’ll probably find this overly hilarious,” Jon murmured. Unsurprisingly, that grumpy pout gradually dissipated through the muttering, instead a wicked grin starting to spread on his face, “Oh such delight, I can’t wait for this month’s family dinner. If I’m going to suffer, I’d better turn this into everyone else’s problem.”

“You’re a menace.” Damian scoffed, yet the fondness overweighted mockery in it.

Without a warning, Jon lunged forward, two steel-strong arms choked the other in a too tight hug. Damian’s hands almost instinctly flied to the hilt of the sword, only Jon had slackened the clutch too quick. He twirled his position to spoon Damian from behind, still floating aloft, and rest his chin on the center of the hair whorl. Damian growled, but did not try any effort to push him off.

“Still can’t believe you’re making me do this,” Jon complained aloud, “You owed me an Apokolips-scaled favor now, which means you’re forbid to get mad at me from now on.”

“I think that’s still in need for further negotiation,” Damian commented in a deadpan tone.

“Have you already prepared a prenuptial agreement?”

“Hmm.”

“What kind of answer is that?” Jon pinched his friend and soon-to-be betrothal on cheek (without really using any strength, of course). Damian grunted and let it be, but caught his wrist at the second attempt.

“I’m afraid your halcyon days are over, Lord Jon-El. Welcome to my life and put responsibility into your dictionary,” mocked by the Demon’s Head.

To this, Jon sighed exasperately and tightened his hold before Damian’s chest, then nuzzled even closer. Both of them were well past the point to be bothered by this cold, but warmth was always welcomed.

“Hate you,” said Jon, voice a little too cheerul.

“Hate you more,” replied Damian, a barely contained laugh in tone.

-END/TBC-

Other background settings on this AU:

So Superman and Lois are still Jon’s biological parents in this setting, but only on genetic level. Lord! Superman had tried everything in hope to make Lois stay with him back then, so he used Kryptonian technology to create a child from his lab, using his and modified Lois’ gene (probably from blood samples or sth.) and take the baby to meet Lois.

My impression to Lois is that she would likely to wait for a chanse to strike back rather than commit suicide when there’s no way out. She then took care of Jon in those imprisoned years, until Jon fell gravely ill due to his unstable DNA and Lord Superman took him to somewhere else for treatment, and Lois had finally escaped in that period of time.

After Lois’ escapement, among other situations, Kal-El was busy with his work and didn’t have the will to raise the child, therefore send him to LoA through Lord Batman’s introduction. Jon was 5-6 yro back then, he and Damian were still 3 yrs apart in this AU.

Talia had informed Batman about their child a lot ealier in this setting, and Damian was basically always raised in the League. Jon went back with his father reluctantly when he was 12. Their relationship was strange and distant rather than tensed. Kal-El sort of viewed this child as the final reminiscence of Lois, while Jon just, honestly didn’t care(...) On the other hand, although Lord Superman might have not too many moral compass, he valued his rules, but Jon’s just pure chaotic, didn’t really care abt anything whatsoever unless it involved Damian.

Lois was now in an anti-Lords organisation. Jon called her Ms. Lane and paid visit to chat occassionally, and constantly mocking his father’s pathetic love life.

Ra’s died or couldn’t use pit to regenerate anymore at somepoint, then Damian became the Demon’s Head.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

put on your records and regret me (Whittaker! Master x reader, Dhawan! Doctor x reader)

Summary: after a long and less than healthy relationship with the Master, you find yourself searching for love in the arms of another

Warnings: cheating, Master and reader have a pretty toxic relationship (Master's controlling, possessive, doesn't think reader deserves bodily autonomy, etc.), reader doesn't really have a good basis for what a healthy relationship looks like so they just go along with it, ending could be seen as somewhat bittersweet (Doctor and reader end up happy but Master doesn't, and it's pretty obvious)

A/N: another song based fic because I cannot and will not be stopped (this time based on high infidelity by taylor swift) I hope you enjoy the pain </3

You didn't think when you first started your affair with the Doctor that she'd find out. Not if you told your lies well enough. Not if you were careful. Clearly, you underestimated the Master and what she was capable of.

She would always find out. It didn't matter what you did or how well you thought you'd covered up your tracks. Sooner or later she'd find out what you were hiding.

After all, she was nothing if not persistent. The only reason she hadn't figured it out sooner was the blind hope she had. The delusion that you still loved her when you didn't.

Maybe a part of you still did, but not the way you had before. You didn't love her nearly as much when you first met. But then you figured it's easier to love someone before you find out who they really are.

The Master vowed to give you everything, and yet all of her promises were empty. You made plans, and they fell through. You gave so much, and in return she took it all and left very little behind.

She didn't know how to give when it came to love, only take. So she did just that until there was nothing left, and kept taking even after.

It really shouldn't have come as a shock when you started becoming more and more withdrawn. You loved her, you really did, but what good was a person's love if they didn't receive any back?

And yet, still you stayed. You'd been cut off from your friends and family, and she would threaten anyone who so much as looked at you for too long, so there was nowhere for you to go. You had no choice but to stay there with her, forever.

Until he came along; the Doctor. He took all of your darkest gray skies and swept the clouds away, repainting them as the most vibrant shades of blue.

He actually took the time to get to know you, the real you, and not the version of you that you had been manipulated and molded into by The Master so long ago. It was like a breath of fresh air after spending so long being trapped in a house full of smoke.

If she wasn't so self obsessed, she might've noticed the change in your personality sooner, but the Master rarely paid attention to things that weren't based on or around her.

You used to find it to be an endearing trait, a slight character flaw, but after being around someone so selfless like the Doctor for as long as you did you couldn't stand going back to thinking that way. In fact, there were a lot of things you couldn't stand going back to.

The curfews, the jealousy, the possession over you, the randomly picked fights- none of those things seemed like the fairytale you once thought them to be. The Doctor had taken off your rose colored glasses and finally exposed the Master to you for who she really was; a major walking red flag.

All of this was completely unbeknownst to the very problem herself, of course. She had just assumed you were growing so distant and moody because you were upset with her for all the times she threatened to handcuff you to your bedpost if you tried to leave.

I mean, honestly, what was she supposed to do? Sit down and talk it out like a normal person would? Actually acknowledge your feelings and take them into account? As if.

She finally got wise as to what was going on when she was going over the TARDIS travel logs one day and saw several trips that she didn't remember taking. She never bothered to shut the TARDIS off whenever she left you alone with it, as she figured you were much too ignorant to know how to fly it and much too fearful of her to try.

It was her constant underestimation of you that helped you get away with doing so much. Of course you weren't trying to escape that one time when you ran off into a random alien marketplace. You were just scared of some of the locals, you would never try to actually get away from her.

One or two crash landings would have been one thing, but multiple trips to the same star systems back to back? That gave her reason to be suspicious.

She also noted how any possible crashes had repairs done to them almost immediately after they took place, another thing that was definitely unusual as she never let you learn how to do maintenance on the TARDIS, either.

Knowing how to fix anything wrong with it was just a few steps away from being able to fly it, and that led to the possibility of you leaving her.

The Master frowned slightly, her brow furrowing in a mix of confusion and annoyance as she studied the repairs that had been done. They were far too advanced for some silly human like you to do, at least not by yourself.

In fact, the only person who could be possibly repair it so well was someone who knew their way around a TARDIS. Someone who was well knowledgeable in Gallifrean technology. Someone like...

Her nostrils flared with anger as the hand resting on one of the control panel's several knobs tightened into a fist, clutching it harshly in the center of her palm. The TARDIS let out a beep in response, almost as if to tell her to loosen her grip, but she ignored it.

It was all starting to make sense now. How could she have not seen it before? Of course it was him that was behind all of the weird things that were going on.

The Doctor was the only one other than her that could possibly teach you how to do repairs on the TARDIS, as well as fly it. She also happened to know that he often frequented the star systems you'd been traveling to in your spare time.

It was just then that she realized she hadn't heard from you in a good three hours. She'd dropped you off on some random planet so she could spend some time alone in the TARDIS, as she was custom to do when you got too aggravating.

You'd usually send her a distress signal on the small communicator she gave you after just thirty minutes, begging and pleading with her to come pick you up again. And yet, nothing. There were no new messages on her end.

It made her think; if you'd been taught how to fly and fix the TARDIS by the Doctor, it wouldn't be too much of a leap to assume he'd taught you how to message his own TARDIS.

The Master felt her blood go from boiling hot with rage to running ice cold in fear. How could she be so stupid? She was so focused on keeping you with her physically that she hadn't even bothered to make you want to stay.

She quickly pulled up the tracking information for the communicator, relieved to see it pinpointed you as still being on the same planet she left you on. Maybe if she hurried she could catch you before it was too late.

The TARDIS was put into overdrive as she flew it back to the planet where she'd left you, nearly crashing as she was too caught up on the thoughts of getting you back to worry about parking correctly.

Tree branches reached out, scratching at her limbs and snagging her coat as she ran through the woods, calling out your name. When she finally reached the field where she last saw you, she half expected for you to be there, waiting for her like you always were.

You'd jump up and run into her arms, and she would apologize over and over again for all the ways that she'd managed to hurt you. But you weren't there.

The Master fell to her knees, her chest aching as her eyes darted around the empty field, trying to find you.

A glimmer of something reflecting off the rays of the sun caught her eye, and she felt her heart break in two as she realized it was the communicator. It had been ditched on purpose, left there as a red herring so she wouldn't spend time trying to find out where you'd actually gone.

A strangled cry of sorrow and frustration tore from her throat as she felt her eyes become wet with tears. She looked up at the sky and bitterly shouted for it to bring you back, someone, anyone.

Nothing happened, just like she'd expected. She thought with time she could learn how to show her love to you in a healthy, unburdening sort of way, but apparently she was wrong.

You were gone now, lost in the love of another, of her worst friend, of her best enemy. And as much as she wanted to hate you, she couldn't.

After all, you couldn't be blamed for leaving, as she knew she'd run away from her own self, if only she could.

felt like gifting y'all some angst today <3

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated <3

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🏷 taglist: @theonetruepotato87 @sessa23

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

Head Full of Ghosts

Pairing: Astarion x Dark Urge

Summary: Takes place during the events of Baldur's Gate 3 and explores the romance between Astarion and the Dark Urge, as well as the friendships and relationships she has with her companions. Plus, everyone gives shit to Gale about his cooking. Tags: Slow Burn, Angst, Pining, Humor, Violence, Friends to Lovers, Developing Friendships, Developing Romance, Spoilers for the Dark Urge and BG3 in general, Dark Urge as Original Female Character Rating: Mature (Will eventually be Explicit, just not there yet.) Current Chapter Count: 3/? Read on AO3 (Will post chapters to Tumblr, as well.) Current Word Count: 13,050

Author Notes: Hello, Tumblr! Longtime lurker, first time poster. BG3 has reignited my love for writing fanfic - I think it's legit been over seven years since I've written a fic. The dry spell has now been broken. BG3 has grabbed me by the throat and pulled me back in and damn, if I'm not enjoying the hell out of it. I've got an ongoing fic on AO3, so I figured why not officially join Tumblr and dive headfirst into the fandom? Should anyone read my silly fic, I dearly hope you enjoy it. All these characters currently live in my head rent free.

Chapter 1: Misfits

The toll house burned as Karlach whooped, exacting rage and fury on everything within the abandoned building. Her glee might have been infectious if it hadn’t been so damn dangerous.

Luckily, Eli and her merry band of misfits had gotten clear of the structure before the worst of the fires caught. They now stood in the middle of the dirt cart path that led to the toll house entryway, watching the scene unfold in front of them with the same morbid curiosity with which townsfolk might watch a public hanging.

Wyll rubbed the back of his neck, cringing slightly as the loud and unmistakable crash of something glass-made reverberated from within the inferno.

“Maybe…” he started hesitantly, then cleared his throat. “Maybe someone should stop her?”  

Honestly, Wyll was too pure for their group of maladjusted headcases. Between being forcibly inducted as Emerald Grove’s newest mediator, and trying to figure out just what in the nine hells was going on with the illithid tadpoles in their brains, Eli had not had much time to get to know Wyll. Like her, he was a warlock, though he was being rather cagey about who or what his patron was. She guessed it had something to do with his contract, and it wasn’t as if she had much room to judge.

Eli couldn’t even remember who the hell her patron was. That knowledge was a gaping black hole in her ruptured memory. Sometimes, late at night, in the stifling silence when the chaos of the day had finally died down, she’d try to recall…anything. Anything about her past life beyond the images of blood, death and rot that swirled in her mind. She was never successful, and her attempts usually ended in a roiling headache. The holes in her brain were deep, dark and remained unknown.    

“These days I’m trying to avoid situations that end with me burnt to ash,” Astarion’s snark brought Eli back to the here and now. “But if you’re confident in your ability to be fire retardant, then by all means,” he finished the thought by motioning towards the building with a bit of a flourish.

The building was now practically engulfed in flames so bright that it was difficult to look at. She was pretty sure she could hear the roof caving in. Eli pinched the bridge of her nose and shut her eyes, the light and sound of it all was causing her already throbbing headache to grow and fester behind her eyes.

“Stop trying to suck the joy out of things, Wyll,” Eli said, with a bit more bite than she had intended.

She couldn’t see it, but she heard the eye roll in his response. “Fine. Far be it from me to deny someone their little moments of destructive bliss.”  

Eli huffed in response and felt a presence move up next to her.

“Another headache?” Shadowheart’s voice wasn’t quite concerned, but it did have a hint of guarded interest, and for Shadowheart that was just as good.

“Think I’m going on day three now,” Eli responded with a groan. She let her hand drop from her face and opened her eyes, blinking back against the influx of light.

No one spoke it out loud, but they all knew the significance of that statement. Three days ago, Eli had woke in the middle of the night to discover Alfira, a kind and gentle tiefling bard, brutalized and dead…by Eli’s own hands. The shame, guilt and confusion from that night was still a gaping and painful wound within. Alfira was a constant and haunting presence, a reminder that her mind and body were not her own. She could recall flashes of memory from that night, and she desperately wished that was not the case.

The fear in Alfira’s eyes was emblazoned upon her brain and it followed her into her dreams. She was not sleeping well, if at all. And the terror that she would once again wake up to find she’d torn open another of her companions, one of her friends…it was enough to fill her nights with nauseating dread.      

“Maybe Gale can cook up a sleeping potion for you when we get back to camp,” Shadowheart suggested with more softness in her voice than Eli was used to. “I’m sure your penchant for rummaging through our wares until all hours of the morning isn’t helping things,” she chided a bit more coolly.

Eli gave her a non-committal half smile. She’d taken to perusing their camp’s growing hoard of books during her sleepless nights. Reading kept her mind busy, and off of other darker thoughts that stalked her steps.    

“Given the unholy smells being extruded by Gale’s cookpot the other night, I’m not sure I’d trust him to brew a sleeping potion someone is expected to wake up from,” Astarion said cheerily, stepping up to Eli’s other side opposite Shadowheart. “Besides, there’s nothing wrong with a little extracurricular nighttime activity.”

The suggestive smirk he gave Eli caused the pit of her stomach to tighten.

“Yes, because reading is so titillating,” she deadpanned back at him. Astarion was a shameless flirt, and Eli wasn’t in a mood to deal with him while her head was splitting open from the inside out.

Astarion, however, was not dissuaded.

“Darling, it’s not my fault if you choose a boring activity.” He emphasized the word ‘boring’ and Eli knew exactly where this was going before they even got there.

He leaned in closer and she caught the faint scent of spice and rosemary that always lingered in the space where he’d been. Nine hells, why did she know that?

“You know I’m only a few tents away if you ever want to try a more stimulating activity,” he purred. A small shiver ran up her spine as she felt the breath from his words against her neck.

A derisive snort came from Eli’s other side. “Really, Astarion, were you never taught not to play with your food?” Shadowheart said with the hint of a smirk, which turned into a full grin when Eli shot her a dark glare.

Eli suddenly felt very aware of a certain spot on her neck as she looked back to Astarion, whose red eyes had been lingering there before they flicked back up to her face. She met his gaze and thought she saw something hungry flash across his expression before he looked to Shadowheart.

“Call it an appetizer,” Astarion replied in that smooth and sultry voice that danced so effortlessly from his lips. “Something to get the blood pumping before the main course.”

Eli was starting to feel something akin to what a rabbit may feel when being circled by wolves. Astarion had inched closer to her as he spoke and teased, pushing into her personal space with bravado and squaring up to her like an animal on the prowl. Eli had experienced this behavior from him before, and she hated it. Not because of any issues with personal boundaries - she didn’t even know if she had issues with personal boundaries, considering how full of holes her memory was. No, she hated it because of how her body responded. And she doubted it was the sort of response Astarion was looking for.

All of his bravado, his confidence, how sure of himself he seemed when he pressed near to her, playing his games. It triggered an anger in her she didn’t recognize. A cruel and dominating rage that wanted nothing more than to grab him by the throat and force him to his knees, demanding respect. She was no rabbit fearful of wolves, no plaything for him to tease. She’d flay him sternum to navel for his insolence.

“Stop,” Eli muttered, moreso to herself than to Astarion.

Her head was pounding as she tried to shove those unwanted and vicious thoughts back down into the unknown void of herself. She took a tentative step backwards and nearly collided with Shadowheart, who managed to step quickly out of the way. Eli felt a hand on her shoulder and reflexively flinched away, internally trying to wrest herself from the cloying vile madness that was building in her brain.

“Sorry,” Eli heard Shadowheart say.

Glancing to Shadowheart, Eli saw she had her hands raised in a conciliatory gesture. Likely, Shadowheart had reached out to try and steady Eli. The problem was, Eli didn’t trust herself when her mind went red and hazy.

She didn’t want anyone touching her in those moments. She didn’t want anyone ending up like Alfira…

“That’s enough of that,” Wyll’s strong voice held a very clear note of annoyance in it. “Leave her be and let’s get back to camp. Lest we get lost out here after the sun goes down.”

Eli appreciated the sentiment, but she almost wished Wyll had stayed silent.

“Ah, the dashing Blade of Frontiers here to save the pretty damsel from the dangerous vampire,” Astarion said, with more than a hint of contempt to his words.

Astarion and Wyll did not play nice. They reminded Eli of two dogs posturing and vying for control when they were near one another. And, unfortunately, everyone else got pissed on in the process.  

Astarion continued to bait the hook, voice sickly suggestive. “Hoping she’ll offer you a place to sheath your blade tonight if you play hero?”

Eli wheeled on Astarion with a glare that only succeeded in making the elf smile wider. For all of his pompous confidence, Eli did take note of the fact that Astarion had backed off from her. At least in the physical sense. He seemed more than happy to continue his verbal assault.

“You vulgar bastard!” Wyll barked back, angrily stepping towards Astarion who was grinning like a feral cat. Wyll was taking the bait.

“Lolth’s rotten nickers!” Eli exclaimed, exasperated and over all of this. “If the two of you want to have it out, fine! Just know I’m not asking Withers to bring either of you miserable assholes back if one of you kills the other!”

The blood in her head was pounding again, pulsating painfully behind her eyes. Eli threw up her hands and turned away from the squabbling men, only to see that tiefling barbarian, Karlach, watching all of them with a grin.

“You lot seem fun as hell!” she proclaimed with a laugh as the toll house continued to blaze like an inferno behind her. “Still cool if I tag along?”

“Yeah, sure,” Eli responded. “We all seem to be in the same shithole of a boat, so if you want to grab a paddle I’m not stopping you.”

Eli smirked and Karlach’s face lit up with excitement. “That’s the spirit!”

The next few moments were a blur. Moments in which Eli felt very much like a passenger in her own body. Astarion wasn’t letting up, and from behind her Eli heard his goading voice as he continued to taunt Wyll.

“You know, Wyll, if you’re ever curious about what our dear, sweet Eli tastes like, all you have to do is ask,” Astarion’s sly words were dripping with inuendo.

Eli snapped.

She rounded on Astarion like a displacer beast loosed from hell, stepping into his personal space just as he had done to her earlier. Eli, however, was not playing games. Her head felt like it was exploding from the inside and her vision was beginning to swim. She needed to get out of here. She needed to leave before she lost control. She needed to put this flippant, disrespectful maggot in his place.

“Would you FUCK OFF with your self-aggrandizing bullshit!” she roared.

Eli was up in Astarion’s face now, all venom and rage as she tried to maintain enough control to keep herself from driving a dagger through his eye like the monster inside of her was demanding.

“I’ve let you feed on me ONE time, and that has been the extent of any nightly activities between us,” she growled, locking eyes with the vampire spawn.

Astarion was a few inches taller than her, but in this moment it didn’t matter. They had all seen Eli fight. They’d witnessed the absolute carnage and power that she was capable of, and while most of that ability came from whatever deal she’d made with her patron, they had all sensed something else beyond her skill as a warlock. Something foul and brutal and violent that she seemed desperate to keep restrained.

That thing was leaking out now. Pressing at the barricades in her mind wrestling to break free. It wanted blood and gore and anguish. It wanted out.

“So, keep your pathetic attention-whoring charade in check or I’m going to lock you in a coffin and burry you so fucking deep even the worms won’t be able to find you!” Eli snarled, eyes glittering with a mania that indicated she was far from joking.

Eli didn’t know the chord she’d struck in Astarion – she didn’t even know if he had chords to be struck. She didn’t know how her words wrenched unbidden memories to the surface of his mind, like puss oozing from an infected wound. She didn’t know the torments inflicted upon him. Didn’t know that her words caused his chest to tighten with anxiety as unwanted recollections flashed in his mind. Days, months, years trapped in lonely confinement at the whim of his abuser. Locked away and starved because he said something displeasing or because he begged to be spared the agony of having his scars cut open once again because his master was bored and wanted to play.

Astarion had gone very still in the face of Eli’s wrath. And as the haze of anger in her mind dissipated and the realization of what she’d just said crashed down upon her, her eyes went wide and she took a quick step back. Her head was a mess and she felt like she was coming up out of a dream and seizing control of herself once more.

Shadowheart, Wyll and Karlach stood by, staring with a mix of shock and morbid curiosity. They were not going to get involved, but they damn sure were going to watch this disaster play out.

“I…uh…” Eli stuttered as she pulled herself back from the brink.

Her movements felt lethargic and wrong, as if she were a step removed from the actions her body was taking. But she kept hold of her mental steering wheel and willed herself to maintain control.

“Fuck. I’m sorry, Astarion,” she lifted her gaze, wanting to meet his eyes so she could explain and apologize again.

But Astarion wasn’t looking at her. At least, not at her face. His eyes were fixated on the collar of the burgundy undershirt she wore below her chest armor. His expression fluctuated somewhere between grim detachment and smoldering hatred, crimson eyes glassy and distant.

Eli felt an unnerving sensation of being looked through.

“Astarion?” she questioned, voice softer and tinged with an edge of worry.

She took a tentative step forward and raised a hand towards him. Had he been struck with an incantation? A curse? Maybe Shadowheart or Wyll had cast something as a means of intervention?

Eli was about to turn and ask them when Astarion flinched back from her outstretched hand as if she’d struck him. His eyes snapped to hers and burned with a hostility she’d never seen from him, not even during the famously vehement rows he and Gale would get into over Gale’s cooking (the arguments usually ended with Gale shouting, “You aren’t even going to eat any of it, anyway!” and storming off in a dither).

“Don’t,” Astarion snarled through clenched teeth and a tight jaw. “Don’t fucking touch me!”

Icy loathing dripped off his every word and Eli suddenly recognized the defensive posture he’d put himself in, leaning back and away from her with hands ready to go for a weapon or even swing at her should she move closer. He reminded her of an animal trapped in a corner, baring its fangs at something…

At something dangerous. At something intent on hurting them.

Shit. Had her outburst really been that bad? Had he really thought she was going to attack him?

A pang stabbed through her stomach as she realized…of course he had. Because of what she’d done to Alfira. She’d already proven she was capable of brutalizing the people around her, no matter how innocent they were. They thought she was dangerous. Astarion, a godsdamn vampire who’d crept up on her in the middle of the night, thought she was dangerous.

She needed to get herself under control. This wasn’t a sustainable lifestyle. At least not for the people around her…

“Astarion, I’m really fucking sorry,” she backed away from him, giving him space and bringing her hands back to her sides. “I’m not even entirely sure what happened. Things got…hazy. I’m really sorry.”

It was a piss poor excuse, and an even worse apology. She knew. And it seemed he agreed.

“You can choke on your apology,” Astarion snapped as he shoved past her. “If the tadpole turns you tonight, it wouldn’t be too soon.”

The sheer venom of his words stung as painfully as if he’d stabbed her right there on the spot. She opened her mouth to reply, but could think of nothing worthwhile to say. So she snapped it closed and watched him walk off down the path that led back to camp.

Well, some fantastic leader she was turning out to be. She already didn’t understand why anyone thought she, with her magnitude of memory loss and murder happy tendencies, was the ideal candidate for a position of authority. She was awful at this shit!

Eli had spent a lot of time combing through her fractured psyche, trying to piece together any semblance of facts about who she was. In all that self-reflection, she’d concluded there were two things she was really good at. Killing people and drinking.

Fuck, what she wouldn’t give to be doing either one of those things right now instead of this.

She turned a miserable expression on her remaining companions. “Is it too late to go back to the mind flayer ship and just surrender?”

Wyll laughed and sided up to her, clapping a hand on her shoulder and trying to be reassuring.

“I’m sure he’ll get over it,” he said. Then, with a somewhat darker smirk, “And if he doesn’t, we’ll just stake him. Luckily for us, our benevolent illithid captors saw fit to crash us in the middle of a forest. Trees everywhere.”

Wyll grinned while Eli just gave him a deadpan stare. He wasn’t helping. Maybe he wasn’t too pure for their little group, after all. Maybe he was just as much of a dumbass as the rest of them.

Eli looked to Shadowheart, who simply rolled her eyes before glancing after Astarion as he continued to walk further and further from the party.

“I bet he just needs some time to cool down,” Shadowheart mused. “Men can be irrationally dramatic when they put their minds to it.”

The grin on Wyll’s face fell as Shadowheart started to follow Astarion down the path. Eli trailed after her, glancing to Karlach in the hopes of making some sort of conversation to distract herself from all the pain and noise in her head.

“I’m just happy to be here,” Karlach laughed.