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#I forgot how to use tumblr oops
swirlymark · 1 year
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Hi hi I’m going to try to use tumblr more often to post my Heisenberg content so here’s a sneak peak of something I’m cooking
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psyxic · 6 months
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when i first got into maigoen my first though when seeing hayate was "oh, this kid plays splatoon"
so, when the latest manga chapter came out, this was all i could think of
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toxiccdoesart · 11 months
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Erm mer gerd!!! 🌈💅🔥✨🕺💅✨🔥🌈
Totally not me reconfiguring my whole ass tumblr, lmao-
Okay, so like, hey, it's Toxicc! I'm a traditional and digital artist (mostly digital, i use traditional stuff i make as ref for digital stuff) and I'm involved in a LOT of fandoms (not like big stuff, but i am in the fandoms and plan on staying unless stated otherwise)
The following Fandoms i enjoy a Lot (because they bring me so much comfort) Are:
Welcome Home (like bestie, Clown!1!1 you did something right- btw #1 favorite fandom to me)
Genshin Impact (it's so unhinged like me lmaosoaoa i love unhinged!)
Warrior cats (battle cats are so silly!1!1!1 also unhinged to some extent, not as unhinged as Genshin and Welcome Home)
Helluva Boss & Hazbin Hotel (Still involved and enjoying these fandoms, it's just that sometimes ppl like to shove bad images on Viv which sucks)
Dead Island (1, Riptide, but mostly Dead island 2)
And uhhh there's so much more but it's walking away as we speak (well as i speak, you're just reading! Haha!)
I have a place where you can find more of me if Tumblr isn't enough for you! I don't know if this is a meet the artist/author kinda post I'm making right now, but it's there! I do Not have a Discord yet, so chatting in a Discord server is not possible for me yet!
The place where you can find me is on Sketchersunited.org by the user ToxiccTheArtist! Feel free to make a chat if you have an account or made an account, I'm open to talking about stuff if you'd like!
Also, on here you may see me shoving art where i see fit, and not only that, but i also have some interesting stuff to offer! I have Original Characters! (Who doesn't?) You'll find more about them on sketchers united as i try to post about them often. I'm currently working on a Series that i plan to make into an indie animated series when i start animating with the proper stuff for it.
You will also see me making AUs or silly ideas in general regarding my favorite fandoms! (Atm, I'm working on a Welcome Home AU, just writing down ideas as i Go, no worries, i won't use these ideas for anything else, just the AU! So stay tuned for that via here if I'm active or by contacting my Sketchers United account as mentioned above! I also forgot to mention that i don't have a Tiktok, I'm just getting settled with other platforms as i go, don't worry!)
Sooo yeah, just your ordinary artist, nothing much than that for now. If you're interested as to what I'll make, feel free to check back every now and then (also coding a blog page is weird on mobile Lmaoaoa-).
I hope you all have an amazing rest of your days!
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stellarfool · 2 years
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so this eurovision song really got to me
Comme un enfant aux yeux de lumière 
Qui voit passer au loin les oiseaux 
Comme l'oiseau bleu survolant la terre 
Vois comme le monde... le monde est beau
My translation (im so sorry this is the best i could do):
Like a bright eyed child
Who sees the far away birds go by
Like the blue feathered bird flying the earth
See how the world...how the world is beautiful
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thatsallitchief · 20 days
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Omg I forgot I have tumblr oops, but here’s the geto to the gojo art hehe 🤭 p.s I still don’t know how to use this app 😭
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calliesmemes · 9 months
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WHY ARE WE NOT INTERACTING YET?
A COMPREHENSIVE SYMBOL ASKBOX PROMPT LIST OF REASONS FOR WHY OUR BLOGS MIGHT BE STUCK IN INTERACTION LIMBO. ( INSP. )
Send both the EMOJI and the TEXT.
If you cannot see the emoji, send the [ BRACKETED TEXT ].
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❓ [ question mark ]﹕ I am a newcomer to tumblr’s roleplay scene, and I do not know how to get started.
🥺 [ pleading ]﹕ I am very shy in general.
🧵 [ threads ]﹕ I have too many threads right now, but I do want to interact in the future.
💼 [ briefcase ]﹕I am busy with life, but I do want to interact sometime in the future.
💕 [ two hearts ]﹕ I ship our muses romantically, but it feels awkward to ask you about shipping.
➕ [ plus ]﹕ You already interact with a lot of duplicates of my muse or faceclaim, and I am uncertain whether you would feel comfortable with adding another.
🛏️ [ bed ]﹕ We have interacted before, but I am currently fixated on another roleplay community.
🍽️ [ plate ]﹕ You seem to have a lot of interactions on your plate already, and I don’t want to stress you out further.
✏️ [ pencil ]﹕ I’m worried about whether my writing style will be able to hold up against scrutiny in comparison to yours.
🪢 [ knot ]﹕ It takes me a while to work up the courage for approaching a new mutual out of character.
😬 [ grimace ]﹕ We have interacted before, but I worry that I will bother you if I reach out to plot / talk out of character.
🧠 [ brain ]﹕ I’m struggling to think of ideas for interactions, or my ideas are vague and consist only of specific Vibes™️
🤝 [ handshake ]﹕ My muse is an original character with familial ties to your canon character, and I don’t know how to approach you to start plotting.
🎀 [ bowtie ]﹕ I headcanon my original character as being close friends with your canon character, and I don’t know how to approach you to start plotting.
🍿 [ popcorn ]﹕ Don’t mind me; I’m just here to lurk!
✉️ [ envelope ]﹕ First meeting threads aren’t my forte.
🤷🏻‍♀️ [ shrug ]﹕ You haven’t reblogged a lot of askbox prompts yet, and I interact primarily by using askbox prompt responses as starters for interactions.
🧍🏻 [ standing ]﹕ I interact primarily through starter calls, and you haven’t posted a starter call yet.
🎲 [ dice ]﹕ We already interact on other blogs, but I don’t have any ideas for interactions with this one yet.
🧚🏻‍♂️ [ fairy ]﹕ I keep meaning to approach you out of character, but I forgot … oops :/
👑 [ crown ]﹕ We’ve already interacted before, but I want even more threads!
🪡 [ needle ]﹕ I want to interact with you because I enjoy your writing; however, your post formatting is difficult to read.
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fivelasanctum · 16 days
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Fivela Manifesto Part 2
((( Had to split it into 2 parts since I broke tumblr with trying to post such a long essay lol ))) ♥ It's something small to note but she described her domestic life as "I'm just trapped in this unending suburban hellscape". Five when discussing with Klaus his feelings of seeing his old, founder Five self dying also used the word 'Hellscape'. "I die a one armed nightmare inside a bureaucratic hellscape of my own design." ♥ Once lila pulls Five onto the subway to check the train out and where it takes them, Five showed in numerous occasions on how protective he was of her. Pulling her down to safety when his past self was sniping at them. Protecting her against a fireball being whirled at them by one of the Phoenix academy students. ♥ When Reggie was helping the family to unlock the memories of what happened to Ben both Lila and Five had the good sense to spectate. Not trusting him. Lila also took this opportunity as Diego was being strapped in to tell him she wanted to re-assess their marriage and go on a break.
♥ Later that day Five and Lila have a short lil' banter after she grabs his arm and leans into his side. Lila: "You thinking what I'm thinking?" Five: "Rarely" Lila: "Their may be a way to stop all this." Five: "The answer is no." Lila: "Hey, you didn't even let me aske the question." Five: "I know I'm going to hate it. Why waste the oxygen?" Says no initially to Lila but always end up caving in to her wants. He does 'aim to please' when it comes to her. ♥ Oh and their song, 'I was made for lovin' you' by KISS played when she had to protect him when they just knew each other for a day or so. Writers hint lol 'Bad Guy' By billie Eilish - rough enemies, sexy song when they first fought each other~
*takes a breath* Well congratulations to those that read through all that lol. Meant to just be a condensed bullet point post but turned into a manifesto essay leading up to the 7 years together. I hope this post can help those on the fence of the couple to see their were plenty of build up for them just more subtle than the more obvious couples like Ray/Allison, Sissy/Viktor and so on. Oops forgot to add: ♥ Lila in season three tried to give him a hug the morning after his drunk night celebrating Luther's wedding. Touched by his lovey dovey speech about the family being bound by destiny and love. Calling him a softy~
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thefallennightmare · 2 months
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Please enjoy this Matt blurb that I need to get off my chest after seeing this picture.
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NSFW BELOW THE CUT. 18 +
Dom! Matty slowly turns to Sub!Matty.
*I did this on my phone so I apologize for any mistakes. Also I was going to add tags but yet again tumblr is being stupid and won’t let me.”
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“You’ve been a fucking brat,” Matt sneered in your ear from his position behind you.
Smirking, you glanced over your shoulder at him, pausing setting up his sound booth.
“Maybe you shouldn’t have hired me to be your assistant then.” You shot back while tapping his cheek.
He didn’t even flinch from your touch.
“I should drag your pretty little ass to the back stairwell of this venue and fuck that attitude out of you,” his eyes went dark underneath his hat.
Desire pooled low in your gut and you let out a soft moan.
“You wouldn’t. The doors open in less than an hour.”
Matt always loved a challenge.
With his fingers wrapped around your wrist, he dragged you through the venue, ignoring the stares and shakes of heads from others. It was typical for you and Matt to sneak away from time to time.
Pushing through the door that led to the back staircase, Matt tossed you inside and kicked the door shut behind him. You swallowed thickly at the sight of him so tall in front of you.
So feral.
Yet, so soft in his love for you.
A wicked smirk pulled on your lips as you slowly undid the zipper of your sweater, showcasing your bright yellow lace bralette.
“You’ve been wearing that all day?” Matt licked his lips at the sight.
“Oops? I almost forgot how much you loved me in yellow,” your voice had taken a playful edge to it as you sauntered up to him.
His hands reached for you but you smacked them away which then caused him to wrap them around my neck, tenderly squeezing.
“Strip out of your pants and get that ass on those stairs,” Matt ordered.
“No.”
He blinked, taken aback by your denial which you took it as your moment to grab a hold of his bright blue shirt and force him down onto the stairs.
His curious words fell away as you haistly tossed your hair up onto a pony tail then sunk to your knees to crawl to him.
“Baby,” he began but you held a finger to his lips
“Be a good boy and sit there pretty for me while I choke on your cock.”
“Fuuuuck,” Matt groaned, the noise rattling his chest as you worked open his belt and the zipper, dragging his cock out.
Shit.
It was thick and a soft pink color, making your mouth salivate when you saw him spilling precum already.
“What’s this?” You dragged a finger over it, making Matt shiver. “You’re so close already and I’ve barely touched you, Matty.”
His words were foreign on his lips, unable to form any coherent thought because the image of you so dominant while he was your submissive was something new. Something he desperately wanted more of.
“Baby.” He panted, trying to raise his hips towards your mouth. “I need-.”
Your hand gently stroked him in a way you knew he absolutely hated. Matt hated taking things slow.
“What do you need, Matty. Come on, use your words,” your tongue flicked over the head of his cock.
“Shit,” his body fell limp against the stairs, hat falling off. His blonde locks cascaded around his shoulders and you internally gasped at the sight of him.
Your teeth softly grazed over the head now. “Words, my love.”
“Ple-please baby. I need your mouth. Fuck please. I’ll be good just let me fuck that throat,” he sputtered out with a tight grip in your hair.
You hummed, panties already soaked with your arousal but this wasn’t about you. This was to make Matt pool at your feet.
“Good boy,” you purred before taking all of him past your lips, not stopping until he hit the back of your throat.
The sounds of you choking and his ungodly moans tangled together in the confined space.
“B-b-baby. I’m not going to last long,” Matt gasped when you began massaging the underside of him with your tongue.
Tears ran down your face and drool dripped from your chin but you weren’t going to stop taking all of him down your throat so instead, you tapped his thigh granting him permission.
With a guttural groan, undoubtedly being heard by everyone outside the door, Matt had a bruising grip on your hair as he finally spilled himself down your throat; you making sure to drink every last drop.
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sophieinwonderland · 9 months
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Now, why would you dare me to embarrass you and your pals like that?
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I appreciate how you wanted my attention so bad you posted me to not one, but two subreddits.
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Makes a girl feel special! 🤣
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I have actually never seen Wikipedia cited as a source about endogenic plurality. Though I do see anti-endos all the time, when asked for sources, telling people to just Google things.
Anyway, here's @guardianssystem's document filled with academic papers about endogenic plurality:
I've compiled my own, but honestly, theirs is better organized than mine.
And in the interest of fairness, here are all the anti-endo papers debunking endogenic plurality:
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Sorry, I forgot. Those don't exist. Oops. 🤷‍♀️
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Echo chamber? LOL!
Weren't you the one spouting a bunch of lies on Tumblr, got totally debunked, posted the people who debunked you to r/systemscringe to have a hugbox where fakeclaimers could assure you how the people who contradicted you are all fakers, and then blocked everyone who disagreed with you?
Weren't you also the one who, when shown a quote from an expert in dissociative disorders who worked on the DSM-5 saying that a disorder isn't a disorder if it doesn't cause distress, argued that the people who defined what disorder are must be wrong about that definition?
You're a misinformation machine who can only find support when huddled in cringe subreddits. Don't try to talk about people in echo chambers.
Also, you know most of psychology is just... listening to people? That's how it's been as long as the field existed. DID (or MPD at the time) was a recognized disorder since long before the first brain scans were conducted on DID patients. It's saying something though when basically every single scientist who has ever researched endogenic plurality has said they believe it's a real thing, or that it could be. While absolutely zero academic papers have expressed that it's fake.
There is also an fMRI study into tulpa systems that's been in the works, but results have yet to be published.
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Sure, if that's what you'd like me to call you, Crazy. 😊
Anyway, Crazy, you should know that just because you personally find something scary doesn't mean everyone will or that the thing is bad. Personal preferences are a thing.
In a study of tulpamancers though, most generally reported their lives becoming better after the practice.
78% reported improvements in their mental health, and 91% on overall life.
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There are many out there who would jump at the chance to have someone there with them that knows them intimately, and to never have to be alone again.
If it's not for you, then so be it.
But it's certainly not something to be afraid of.
And maybe, for those who are willing to commit to the practice while America struggles with an epidemic of loneliness, it's something worth being open to.
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This is actually pretty fair.
But that's now, and I'm looking at course of history and trends of plural acceptance.
300 years ago, any plural would be viewed as demon possessed and end up tortured or killed for their plurality.
70 years ago, all plurality was seen as a mental illness, and it was common to force plurals, as well as anyone else associated with mental illnesses, into asylums.
30 years ago, the first real plural communities were able to connect on the internet and form in small numbers.
8 years ago, the first studies into endogenic plurality started being conducted. 4 years ago, the ICD-11 acknowledged that you could have multiple distinct personality states without a disorder. 2023 marked the first, but certainly not the last, time a system used their system name as an author of an academic paper.
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Recently, new plural resources have been designed and put into use. More servers than ever are using Pluralkit. And Simply Plural went from 100k users at the end of 2021 to 210k at the end of 2022.
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Progress is happening far more rapidly than you realize. And you had best be ready for it.
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BOO! 👻
Oh, hey, I just realized... this is literal pluralphobia!
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Liberté!
Egalité!
Fraternité!
And yes, The Future is Plural! 😜
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cupidjyu · 1 year
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kiss me, sweetheart
hyunjae x reader (request, anon you are so sexy for requesting this i love you)
genre: JEALOUS HYUNJAE. best friends to lovers, college au but barely mentioned, kissing, feelings realization, pining, like minimal angst, i think u guys makeout tbh, getting together, flirting, he calls you "sweetheart” notes: welcome to the new era of yumi finally using caps on tumblr! let me know how you like it :) i'm sorry to the people who prefer the lowercase, but this is my blog hehe word count: 3.9k (i definitely went overboard with this fic oops)
“If you don’t hurry up, I will die of starvation,” You heard a voice call out from behind. 
You turned around and your first thought was to smack Hyunjae straight in the chest with the bag that you were currently shopping at the bookstore with. And so, you did. Unfortunately, though, you forgot that it was made of an incredibly hard, plastic-y material so it made a loud “bong” against his body.
“That’s going to leave a bruise.”
“Oops,” You winced. But after, you simply shrugged. “That’s what you get for rushing me though.”
“It’s been like thirty minutes,” He whined. “You promised that we would try the waffle place on the next block. And you know how huge this campus is.”
You pouted as you stared at the many unexplored aisles of the store before groaning, “Fine. You’re lucky that we’re best friends or else I would be punching you so hard right now.”
“You can definitely try, sweetheart,” He smirked. You scowled, knowing just how much he loved to call you by that name. In a platonic way, of course. 
Everything about the two of you was platonic. You two were like peas in a pod who met way back in middle school and have done everything together all the way up until university. You’ve watched each other’s achievements and been through hardships together. Going through breakups, getting rejected, failing driver tests, throwing up from being drunk, you’ve done it all… together.
Now, you were walking with Hyunjae down the sidewalk when suddenly you heard a yelp from him. You turned and you were met with the sight of someone tackling your best friend from the back. 
“Are you just going to ignore me or what?” The other man hollered in his ear. “Don’t tell me you’re too embarrassed to see your dear football teammate in public. You’re the captain of the team too!”
Hyunjae pried him off, completely out of breath. “Sunwoo.”
“Yes, cap’n?”
“Don’t bother me again, especially when I’m with someone right now,” He gestured to you. 
Sunwoo turned to you with realization, “Oh. So you’re Y/n? Captain’s best friend?”
You nodded, smiling politely. “I think I’ve heard much about you, Sunwoo.”
“Good things, I hope?”
You cringed, “No, not really.” Sunwoo shot a glare at Hyunjae at that. After, he bluntly pushed himself into the space between you and your best friend. He swung an arm around Hyunjae’s waist and the other arm around your shoulders, suddenly bringing you all closer to the center.
He let out a sigh. “Nothing better than spending time with loved ones, am I right?” He joked with a glint in his eye.
Hyunjae sighed, his eye twitching with annoyance, “You weren’t even invited.”
Sunwoo scowled, “Shush. Y/n won’t mind, right?”
Hyunjae knew that you were too nice to say no so he practically gave up. You offer a simple, “Mhm!” as you gave him an awkward smile. You made eye contact with Hyunjae, who had rolled his eyes at Sunwoo with an obvious pout. You giggled.
Sunwoo shifted closer, “Did you buy anything? Or, better question, did Hyunjae pay?”
“No, since someone wanted to rush me,” You huffed. “And do you really think he’s the type to pay? He loves saving his money for himself.” You laughed to yourself, knowing this would definitely get him worked up.
As expected, Hyunjae gasped in betrayal. He was about to protest but that was when his eyes zeroed in on how Sunwoo’s arm was wound tightly around your body, his hand resting warmly on your shoulder. He paused, a tight feeling growing in a deep pit of his stomach. 
He was unsure of what it is.
For some reason, he didn’t have the urge to talk anymore. He just quietly watched as Sunwoo leaned closer and closer, smiling his very charming smile. He even let go of Hyunjae, instead only turning his attention to you, making you laugh and smile.
Hyunjae felt his eyebrows furrow when Sunwoo approached even closer to your face, just mere inches from your lips. He knew that Sunwoo loved to flirt. It was part of his personality. But something about when he does it with you… is different. At that moment, something just took over him, as he used all of his football-playing strength to suddenly grab Sunwoo by the back of his collar and drag him back to his side, slightly choking him in the process.
“Ow– what was that for?” Sunwoo pouted, rubbing his neck.
“You’re being obnoxious.”
“How so?” 
Now, Hyunjae was at a loss for words. Why was he so annoyed? Why did he feel like he could just punch something at that moment?
“I– I don’t know. But just lay off…”
Sunwoo stared at him funnily before shrugging. The tension was interrupted when they heard your gasp from far away.
“This is so cute!” You excitedly pointed at a plushie displayed in a nearby store. You quickly abandoned the two men and went to find it. 
The two of them were now left together, just standing there awkwardly with no idea what to do. It was incredibly quiet, not a word spoken. Usually, they talk a lot, since they’re on the same team and have mutual friends. But now, Hyunjae feels sour, a grudge forming against his fellow teammate. Finally, Sunwoo broke the ice.
“Hey, cap.” He nudged his shoulder.
“Yeah?”
“Y/n’s cute,” Sunwoo smiled. “Are they dating anyone right now?”
Hyunjae froze. “No, I don’t think so, or else they would have told me.”
“Hm,” Sunwoo seemed deep in thought. “Okay! I’ll see you guys later then. Or preferably, I’ll see Y/n later.” He had the audacity to wink after.
Hyunjae stared after him, unsure of what to feel. But, he quickly shook off the burning feeling. It’s probably a stomachache. 
-
That night, Hyunjae went to sleep fairly early since he had a morning class the next day. He did his usual routine of scrolling through social media and setting up his bed. From the long hours of walking with you by his side, he already began to feel drowsy. And so, as soon as his head hit the pillow, he fell asleep.
Hyunjae isn’t the type of person to dream a lot. Or, at least, he doesn’t remember them. But on that particular night, he dreamed.
He dreamed of you.
His brain was quite accurate when it came to creating an image of you. Your eyes, your hair, it got it all down perfectly. He was sure it was you. He could recognize the slope of your nose, your cheeks, and your pretty lips. Wait– pretty? Since when did he think that?
Though what really bothered him, was that the dream with you wasn’t a typical best friend dream. It wasn’t a day at the amusement park or the movie nights that he usually had with you. His dream was more of a love story.
And it wasn’t a love story with you and him as the main characters. It was you and Sunwoo.
He seemed to play no part in this love story, just completely invisible as if he was the reader of a book. He also was conveniently placed outside the balcony of your apartment. He winced, kind of creepy, he knows. But besides the point, he’s invisible! He was frozen on the spot as he watched you sit down with Sunwoo on the couch. His fellow teammate was smiling at you, and again, he wound his arm around you. But this time, he started cuddling you. You nuzzled your cheek into his chest as he leaned his chin on the top of your head with a satisfied smile. 
“I missed you,” He heard you say to him, making him want to revolt for some odd reason.
“Missed you too, baby.”
Hyunjae wanted to cover his eyes and fall to the floor at that moment.
But what really shocked Hyunjae, was that he later leaned in and kissed you. Not on the cheek, but right on the lips. Hyunjae couldn’t move, since he had no control over his body. He could just watch, as your lips moved in unison, deepening it until it turned into a bit of a makeout, Sunwoo’s hands all over your body. 
Hyunjae woke up moments later, in a sweat. He looked down at his shaky hands. 
He had just dreamed of you kissing his friend and he hated it.
He loathed it so much and he has no idea why.
-
“Are you okay?” Juyeon, his other dear teammate, appeared by his side the next morning handing him a bottle of water. Hyunjae took it without a smile.
“I’m great, why?”
“You seem out of it,” The younger shrugged.
Hyunjae sighed, looking down at the ground. He just couldn’t seem to get it out of his head. The way you kissed Sunwoo with so much passion in his dream, the way your hands roamed over his chest, and the way your eyes were dazed. He hated how it made him feel. He couldn’t even figure out what he was feeling.
Juyeon was about to walk away when Hyunjae decided to ask for advice.
“Wait, Juyeon,” He called out.
“Hm?”
“I need to ask you something… for a friend,” He looked away sheepishly.
“What is it?”
“I’ll give you a scenario,” He started. “If a person dreams of his best friend kissing someone else and it makes him feel horrible inside, what does it mean?”
Juyeon shrugged, “Depends. Maybe you don’t like the person that they’re kissing?”
“No, no, Sunwoo is a perfectly decent person,” Hyunjae shook his head. Then he froze, his eyes widening. “I– I shouldn’t have said his name. And how did you know I was talking about myself?”
Juyeon smirked, “I know you well enough. Then, it must mean that you don’t approve of your best friend kissing him because they should be kissing someone else.”
Hyunjae furrowed his eyebrows, completely lost, “What, so you’re saying that I think that my best friend can’t kiss anyone at all?”
“No?” Juyeon shook his head. “I mean that you’d much rather your best friend kiss someone that you want them to.” Juyeon looked at him with a mischievous smile, as if trying to get a certain point across, but Hyunjae doesn’t quite get it yet.
“Who–” He was deep in thought. “Who would I want them to kiss? My teammates? My other friends?”
“None of those.”
Hyunjae groaned in frustration, “Then who else? It’s not like I, myself would want t–” He froze, his body going rigid. Suddenly, his mind rushed back to the dream. He thought of your lips moving against Sunwoo’s and he wondered how they would feel against his own. He wondered if he could hold your waist like Sunwoo had and cup your face, making you blush. He wondered if he could–
“Oh.”
Juyeon was staring at him with amusement, “Got it?”
“I want to kiss my best friend,” He breathed out, in utter disbelief. “I– I have feelings for my best friend? And that time– with Sunwoo. That feeling was jealousy?”
“So you come to your senses,” The younger laughed.
“Juyeon, I’m doomed.”
“You’ll be fine.”
-
Hyunjae later learned just how hard it is to be in love with his best friend. The two of you always spend time together, but lately, it’s been hard to be around you. Every time you would smile, he couldn’t help but admire the way your eyes would close along with it. When you would pout, he would think of kissing you again. When you would laugh, his heart would beat faster. Or, when you would initiate skinship with him, he would feel like he might explode.
“Hey,” You waved in front of his face, startling him out of his thoughts. “Are you there?”
“Hm?” He faked a smile. “Yeah, sorry.”
“Okay…” You eyed him suspiciously. “Anyways, as I was saying, what do you think if I got a boyfriend?”
He blinked, “What?”
You shrugged, smiling shyly to yourself, “Some guy gave me his number the other day, and I–”
“No.”
You frowned, “Why not?”
And Hyunjae so badly just wanted to come clean. He wanted to tell you that he’s in love with you and wants you only to himself. But he couldn’t work up the courage to do so.
“I just think…” He laughed awkwardly. “He isn’t your type.”
You looked at him with curiosity, “You saw him?”
“Yeah,” He lied through his teeth.
“Oh…” You mumbled. “Okay, I guess. Oh, and Hyunjae?”
He looked at you, raising an eyebrow.
“You look handsome today,” You complimented. It was true, he had finally ditched the hoodies he usually wore because of the warmer weather, instead wearing a shirt that accentuated his broad shoulders.
“D-don’t joke around…” He gently shoved you, feeling his ears burn and his heart race. Compliments from you aren’t supposed to affect him so much, but after his revelation… everything’s different with you.
“I’m not!” You giggled. “And did you just stutter?”
“No,” He stubbornly avoided eye contact, in hopes that you wouldn’t see that he was also blushing.
“You did,” You watched in awe. “Who knew that the Hyunjae would be so shy? I like this side of you.”
“I’m not shy,” He mumbled, his cheeks turning redder by the minute.
“Sure,” You rolled your eyes. You leaned closer, batting your eyelashes. “And if I said that you’re cute?”
“I’m not cute!” He whined.
“What about tall?”
“That’s just the truth.”
“Kind?”
“Of course, I would be kind, who do you take me for?” He glared.
You thought for a moment before smiling mischievously. “What about… if I said that you’re pretty?”
He froze, suddenly going quiet. You could see that he was blushing again. 
“Ah,” You smiled. “So you like being called pretty? Pretty, pretty, Hyunjae.”
And suddenly, he reached an arm out and pulled you in by the waist. You yelped, your face almost buried in his chest. You put your hand against it, but you gulped when you realized just how fast his heart was beating and also… how muscular he is.
“H-Hyunjae? What are you doing?” You looked up at him.
And oh, how he hated the way you looked up at him like a puppy. He so badly wanted to kiss the living daylight out of you, but he resisted.
“You can’t keep teasing me, sweetheart,” He tilted his head, his expression serious. “I might just do something stupid.”
You gulped, “...like what?”
He looked at your lips and licked his own. He was about to lean in but that was when he remembered that you might reject him. You were merely his best friend, nothing more. He sighed and pulled away.
“Nothing.”
-
What’s even worse, is avoiding his best friend. He had realized that the more time he spent with you, the more painful it was for him to pretend to just be friends with you. He longed to do more with you. He wanted to hug you, cuddle you, and most importantly, call you his.
“Want to study together?” You would ask.
“Sorry, I have an exam due.”
“Why are we walking so far apart? Get closer!”
“I’m fine like this.”
“Want to go to that concert?”
“I have football practice.”
At first, you simply played it off as one of his pranks. But soon enough, you realized that he was serious. He wouldn’t look you in the eye and his responses to your jokes and stories were dry. Every time you would try to make plans he would reject them, coming up with an excuse.
You were confused, having no idea what to do. You wondered if you did anything wrong. Nonetheless, you felt like there was a hole burned in your heart, knowing that your best friend was avoiding you.
-
Hyunjae sighed as he walked through the park. He often loved walking the trail with you. He liked to listen to your stories and little rants. And yes, he did miss you. It was hard to just reject your offers and it was especially hard not to see your face every day like he used to. He thought that you were beautiful, and not being able to see you all the time made him want to cry.
As he turned the corner, he paused when he heard your voice from a distance. He looked and saw that you were sitting on a bench, your phone against your ear as you talked to someone.
“I just don’t understand what I did wrong,” You spoke, your voice quiet and sad. “I miss being with him.”
He felt his heart sink as he watched you look down at your feet, sniffling.
“Should I talk to him?”
His breath hitched.
-
The day he dreaded came quicker than he had expected. You had texted him, inviting him to your apartment. 
Let’s talk.
Hyunjae took a deep breath and knocked on your door. Almost immediately, it opened to reveal you, a pitiful frown on your face and your eyes dull. You led him to sit on the couch as you faced him, trying to gather your thoughts first. Finally, you spoke.
“Why are you avoiding me?”
“I’m not,” His voice shook.
“You are, don’t lie,” You furrowed your eyebrows. He was quiet for a second, but with the way you were glaring at him, he couldn’t help but give in.
“Fine, maybe I am,” He looked at you with guilt. “But please, you have to understand that I can’t spend time with you anymore.”
“Why?” You cried. “What did I do wrong? Is it me? You can tell me if I did something to upset you, please, I promise that I will make it right.”
“It’s not you, please don’t blame yourself,” He clenched his jaw, his feelings threatening to pour out. He hated seeing you hurt.
“Then tell me what happened.” 
You spoke with so much kindness and care, making him feel even more regretful. You should be mad at him, but instead, you were taking care of him. Then, you took his hand in yours. His eyes widened as he looked at you with bewilderment.
“What are you–”
And then you pressed a kiss to the back of his hand. Hyunjae felt his heart stutter as you looked up at him. You intertwined your fingers together as your other hand came up to cup his jaw to make him face you and look you in the eye. He gulped, his eyes going soft.
“Hyunjae… I know there’s something wrong. Please, let me help,” You whispered, caressing his cheek with your thumb, watching as his skin started to tinge with red. He stared at you, feeling like he might choke on his words. You just smiled, softly, trying to convey to him that it was okay. It’s okay now that you’re here. 
His heart felt like it was pouring with emotions. 
“Please, stop this, sweetheart,” He pleaded, his eyes never leaving yours. His hands were clenched in fists at his side, his heart beating way too fast. He couldn’t handle how you were touching him and treating him with so much love.
“Why should I?” You dared to look him in the eye. 
His vision kept on wandering to your lips.
“Because I might do something stupid.” He whispered, his voice wavering.
You stared at him, tightening your hold on his hand. You took a deep breath, feeling nervous all of a sudden. He wouldn’t stop looking at you with an unreadable expression, something completely different than before.
And almost like you were out of breath, you spoke again, your voice barely able to be heard.
“Like what?”
You gasped when you suddenly felt a pair of lips on yours. You were frozen, trying to process the situation. Hyunjae quickly noticed and he pulled away, his eyes immediately filling with regret.
“I– I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–”
“No.”
You took his arm and pulled him back against you. He stared at you, his eyes wide.
“Oh, this is…” He whispered in utter shock.
“Kiss me.”
His eyes immediately closed when you pressed your lips against his. And soon, the two of you began to relax in each other’s hold, your arms going around his neck as his hands came to hold your waist gently. He pulled you even closer, making you gasp. His tongue swiped against your lip as he deepened the kiss, tilting his head for a better angle. You felt dizzy as you tried to keep up with him. His hands roamed all over your sides, making you shiver as your hands rested against his chest.
At some point, you began to run out of air with how aggressively he was kissing. You tapped his arm, causing him to pull away, his lips swollen and red as he gasped for breath. 
He searched your eyes to make sure you were okay before he smiled.
“So, sweetheart…” He started, smirking with affection in his eyes.
“Please, don’t,” You covered your face with your hands, slowly turning red.
“Tell me what that was about?” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“Shut up,” You whined. “You’re the one who kissed first!”
“You’re right about that,” He admitted. And then he looked at you with sincerity. “I’m sorry for avoiding you. I just… I think that I’m in love with you.”
Your breath hitched.
“That is quite the switch-up,” You giggled. “Last week you were insulting me.”
He looked away, blushing furiously.
“I’m still sorry.”
You shook your head, “It’s okay. I may be in love with you too…” You trailed off.
He looked up and his lips curled up happily, “Really?”
You nodded, “I never realized, but now I know. You’re a– a great kisser.” You suddenly felt embarrassed so you stood up and turned away from him to hide your face.
“Don’t be like that now, sweetheart,” He got up and wound his arms around your waist from behind. His nose met with your neck, making you shiver. “Let me see you.”
Hesitantly, you turned to face him. But, he was looking at you so, so fondly that you couldn’t help but shy away again, looking off to the side.
“Sweetheart,” He cupped your cheek with one hand, the other hand still resting on your waist. “I said look at me.”
This time, when you did, he leaned in, kissing you again. He pressed peck after peck, all over your face, making you whine. And then he went back to your lips, kissing more passionately as if he was addicted to you. Which, he is.
“Only kiss me from now on,” He whispered in between kisses. His mind flashed back to his dream from way earlier. He furrowed his eyebrows, groaning as he hated that dream so much. “Noone else. You can only kiss me, okay? Especially not Sunwoo.”
You stared at him wordlessly with amusement.
He looked at you with confusion, “What?”
“Nothing, you’re just cute when you’re jealous.”
He huffed, “Because I like–no, I love you sweetheart.”
You grinned, your cheeks flushing, “I love that name so much.”
“Sweetheart,” He sang in your ear, making you laugh loudly. “Now please,” He looked at you pleadingly, as he led you to the couch and pinned you against it. His hair fell over his face and his eyes darkened. “Kiss me like you mean it.”
“Needy.”
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butwhatifidothis · 3 months
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Thanks for the catch Raxy boy! I have now made sure that the two names I censored were better differentiated!
Since you're looking over my blog anyway and care so much about me talkin' about your buddies, can you finally directly address all the horrible shit Shandale has said?
Like this?
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Saying that the entirety of a race should be subjugated and stripped of their rights because of the (MADE UP) actions of some of them? I've talked about this clearly horrible example of Shandale's rhetoric before but you seem to have missed it! So here it is again for you since you're combing through my blog again <3
And here's the entire conversation that the person I'll refer to as White - who you forgot to censor, by the way, you left their name unedited in that second screenshot, fixed that for you in this post but you might wanna go do something about that in yours - had with deathbirby (as much as it can be gleaned from the deleted messages):
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See how White is seemingly having a conversation with themselves, especially in the bottom portion of the last screenshot? That'd be because they were talking very cordially with deathbirby about birds - not even talking about 3H!
But then White asks deathbirby why they were in the discord... and they have a cordial - if very strange and telling - response to whatever was said:
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How weird! Even though deathbirby has done nothing in the server to warrant any action from mods, White seems pretty convinced that deathbirby is going to be kicked... just because they "are part of [the] group [the discord's] sorta 'beefing' with" and no other reason! Not for any argument they were trying to start up, since again - literally only White was talking to them! And they were literally only talking about birds! At best Shandale dropped two bird pictures! No shit was started at all! But the discord seems to have that bad of a tribalism problem that literally anyone who associates with The Wrong People are automatically deemed undesirables by the people in charge, and White already expects deathbirby to get banned because of it - totally not worrying at all!
Then out of nowhere, here comes another mod and Shandale!
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Accusing deathbirby of "bringing tumblr bs" but, hm... they were just talking about birds to White; seems like they just wanted talk to me! At best they wanted to have a discussion about something, and it probably DID relate to something about 3H, but given White's responses deathbirby was far from "starting shit" about anything - wonder where Wonder got that idea from?
Hey, when does it say that post was made? October 29th? What "tumblr bs" was going on at that time that deathbirby had on their blog-
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Oh. Ohhhh. The "tumblr bs" was my first post pointing out Shandale's proclivity to use genocide apologetics and upholding genociders as liberators for 3H - and the first reblog I did for that post going further into Shandale's posts, if we wanna go for the exact day. So deathbirby not taking keen to Shandale's racist rhetoric gets dubbed "tumblr bs," and then, oops!
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They're "stirring shit up" now, they're "acting like an innocent party" now, they're using "bad faith arguments" and "outright slander" now. Looking at messages said by Shandale and still held by Shandale which Shandale stubbornly defended and Shandale openly deleted messages over is bad faith, and deathbirby gets banned for it. With White still wanting deathbirby to talk despite all that! Despite Wonder and Shandale accusing deathbirby of starting shit! Almost like... White didn't think deathbirby was trying to start shit! Probably because nothing shows deathbirby was trying to start shit!
Almost like you, Raxy, only insist that because you think anyone you dislike - or is around people you dislike - couldn't possibly want to have a cordial conversation with you and your buds! Almost like that's because you and a lot of your buddies would never have a cordial conversation with anyone who disagrees with you! Funny how that all seems to click together!
Oh, and just cuz I'm nice like that: when you say that someone "tried to start shit," that's commonly understood to mean that that person was trying to start an argument of some kind - whether a "debate" argument or a, oh, would you look at that, "trying to start shit" argument! Hope that helps <3
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bubble-dream-inc · 2 years
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Lemniscate (the place between sleeping and awake)
a chance encounter with your superior during a very lonely holiday season leads to an interesting conversation and an insight on yours and Ghost’s relationship.
Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader
rbs greatly appreciated!
WC: 4,8k
a/n: i had to repost this bc tumblr was being fussy and hiding it oops. also i was listening to so handsome hello by woodkid while writing this so there’s my song rec for the day. i am down bad for this man someone help me! thank u loml @deafeningcat for being the best beta reader ever, always <3
warnings: explicit talk about death, war, trauma and violence, suggestive, profanity, ghost being ooc, sex as a coping mechanism for ptsd, heavy antimilitarism, angst to fluff, slight prey and size kink if you squint, non intentional liverpool slander, reader is part of 141, soap calls you "bonnie" once but otherwise no gender especified for reader, reader thinks they can fix him and is sorta emotionally dependent so its kinda toxic idk, intentional repeating of words, christmas/holidays ambience. MDNI
The puddles rippled under your boots, and right there under the faint street light which reflected the light drizzle of rain darkening the already pitch black night sky, you remembered how much you hate the holidays. Sure, it felt nice not having to worry that much about being ambushed or shot or killed for once, but you’d be lying if you said you looked forward to having time off from work. Having spent the last few years constantly living on edge, running solely on the primal instinct of survival for weeks on end had you addicted to the adrenaline, and you forgot what it’s like to be completely at ease a long time ago. 
You felt your skin dampen under your clothes in the humid air. You haven’t bothered with an umbrella; you have been through worse. Liverpool was never your cup of tea, the sky was too gray and the wind felt like tiny needles attacking your skin on the rare occasion it wasn’t raining, and in moments like these you missed the scorching summer sun from your hometown. But again, could you really call it home? That thought had been lingering in the back of your head as an ugly reminder of one of the shittiest parts of your job ever since a few days ago when the base you were stationed in was filled with the sound of rambunctious laughter and the smell of cheap cigarettes and beer, all of it a reflect of a mission well done. The intel was useful, the danger was dealt with, and your teammates could not be more grateful the timing was just right so that they could go spend some time off with their families for the holidays. You weren’t really thinking too hard about it, too absorbed in your teasing banter with Gaz, until Soap turned to you.
“What about you, bonnie? Where ya spendin’ your holidays at? Going home?”
You had shaken your head no with a chuckle, swallowing the bad taste the word home left in your mouth and masking your discomfort. Having all their attention on you as your team mates waited for your answer wasn’t inherently bad, but you did have to ignore Simon’s piercing stare from across the group, focusing only on Soap and trying to not give in to your instinct of looking back at your Lieutenant. As the years went by, you’d found out that was just the way that he was, and you had to learn how to differentiate when he actually wanted for someone to be scared by his constant, terrifying eye contact, and when to know he was simply looking in your general vicinity. Not that it worked that well, of course, since just his massive presence and the low timbre of his voice could make anyone’s fight or flight instinct blare sirens in their head, and yet, at some point you realized you liked it. You felt like a prey under his gaze, and the fact that it both terrified and excited you was intoxicating. 
“Nah. I’m heading to Liverpool, i think, as usual” 
Being in Liverpool for you was far from pleasant, but a few years before you decided to go there for your time off just because it was closer to the base you were stationed in and you had nowhere else to go, and it became a tradition, even if it sometimes felt like self punishment. It certainly seemed like it, you thought as you wandered aimlessly through a quieter part of the city, occasionally passing through a group of tipsy barely-of-age kids, or a happy looking family going back to the comfort of their cozy homes together. It made your chest ache, but the loneliness got duller after so much time being surrounded only by the 141 members and having to watch so many people you knew die on the front lines. 
“Do you regret it? Joining the military?”
You had asked Ghost one day after you two had to get holed up in a dingy safe house, trying to pass the time while waiting for exfil. He had stared at you for a few seconds, silently, and you wondered if you had crossed a line by asking something way too personal, but in a moment he was back to staring at the worn out coffee table in front of the couch you were in. 
“No. I did what had to be done at the time.” 
While somewhat cryptic, you accepted his answer without prying for more, but after a few seconds he looked back at you, not going unnoticed how his eyes looked a bit more tired than usual. 
“Do you?”
You remember sighing.
“Everyday. War is hell.” 
He only hummed in response, putting an end to the conversation that had barely been started, but your mind dwelled on your answer. It seemed like ages ago when you were a starry-eyed private, having been fooled by the military propaganda promising you’d be a hero, but that resolve quickly broke a few months later in your first mission, and you certainly didn’t feel like a hero after taking someone else’s life for the first time. 
Lost in thought as you walked, you almost paid no mind to the man in your path that was leaning towards a lamp post and having a cigarette, if not for the fact that even from a distance you could see he was massive. There was only one person you knew that seemed as tall as that, and that was your-
“Lieutenant?” You squinted, being pretty sure you couldn’t mistake your towering 6’4 masked superior over someone else, and he acknowledged you with a look. If he was surprised to see you, he didn't show it. “Liverpool sure is tiny, huh? I thought you were from Manchester.”
“I am.”
His answers were rarely something other than short and dry, and he knew you knew better than to pry into his own personal reasonings, even because you also had no real reason to stick around that city and yet there you were. Still, the laidback-ish atmosphere of being between missions made it easier for you to act a little more daring than usual, treading lightly as you questioned him, unable to hold back your curiosity. Alas, you found yourself hypnotized by the way Simon’s full lips wrapped around his cigarette as he took a slow drag, waiting for you to say something.
“Heading somewhere?” Your voice sounded foreign even to yourself, and you didn’t know whether to blame the cold, the awkwardness of feeling like you were bothering your superior on his time off, or the way just being by his general vicinity made your chest ache with a feeling you hadn’t quite been able to name yet, but you shrugged all of it off and focused on trying to act as normally as possible.
“Not really. Are you?”
“Not really” You mimicked his words, smiling faintly and wanting to imagine that you actually saw mirth in his eyes. “Lookin’ for a pub that’s still open, but I'm not having too much luck with it.” You paused, unable to stop the next words that came out of your mouth. “Care to join me?”
Ghost pondered your bold request for a moment before putting out his cigarette by stepping on it and nodding with his head for you to lead the way. His way of communicating with so little words made you uneasy at first, but nowadays you’d find it endearing. 
And that’s how you ended up in a beaten up looking pub near the port, sitting side by side with Simon by the bar, acutely aware of the bartender eyeing you two warily. You weren’t sure if he was angry for the fact that the bar actually had customers, which meant he couldn’t go enjoy time off at home, or if he was intimidated by Ghost. Maybe both. It was an otherwise cozy little pub, the warm lighting and the low ceiling made you feel slightly comforted by your surroundings, even if there were only three other customers around and the air smelled of burnt oil and deep fried food. You tapped your fingers on the wooden surface of the bar while waiting for the grumpy bartender to bring your beer, comfortable with the silence between you and Simon. When it arrived, you watched with a side eye, trying to be discreet, as he raised his mask slightly to take a sip of his bourbon, even if you knew he had noticed you.
Ghost’s face was somewhat familiar to you. Less than his body, admittedly.
There were a handful of times you had seen him without his mask, but you had barely committed its features to memory since it had mostly been in the dark confines of his quarters - which made you think how nice it must be to have a rank high enough to have your own room - and in times where staring at his face was not the first thing on your mind. It didn’t matter anyway, knowing he really was handsome after all under the balaclava didn’t change how your chest would tighten at the sight of him way before you dreamt of seeing his whole face.
Being alone with your superior was hardly foreign at this point, after so many years and everything you had been through together, and while you had never said it directly to him, his company was enjoyable. You remember clearly; It had happened the first time during mid summer after a mission gone particularly wrong in Somalia. One hour in the shower later, scrubbing your skin raw, you still felt dirty and grimy, as if you believed you could let go along with the blood-dirtied water the screams of all the civilians you had heard and the image ingrained into your brain of all the innocent people lying dead on the streets, massacred without a second thought. You tried showering, smoking, drinking, going for a walk, talking to your fellow team mates - all of them who looked just about as shaken as you were - but nothing could get your mind off of it. Mid walk, you had rounded a corner inside the base and locked eyes with Ghost, who was coming from the opposite direction, and, for reasons unknown, something instantly changed in the air between you. Sure, you had flirted a bit and perhaps given some indication of your attraction towards him before, but at that moment maybe you looked more distraught than you thought, and in only a split second after the very sudden eye contact, a non-verbal agreement was set, and quickly you found yourself glued to his broad chest, his hand lifting his mask just enough so you could connect your lips in a messy and aggressive kiss as he guided you to the door of his room. There’s no way to tell how long you were there for, but as you felt him blindly in the dark to hug his neck while he was inside you for the nth time, you were grateful he didn’t comment on your sobs that you now allowed to flow as freely as your tears, and, in turn, you didn’t comment on how tender your huge, scary superior could be, holding your face gently and whispering praises, comforting you the best he could. 
It became something akin of a habit. At first it was just fucking to destress or to not have to deal in a proper way with all the trauma that came with your line of work, but then you started to linger. His touches became gentler, his big hands would stroke your skin instead of just gripping it hard enough to bruise, and you found yourself staring at his strong and scarred back one morning as he slept somewhat soundly beside you. Your hands itched to trace them, and at the moment you decided you wouldn’t mind sharing a bed, literally, with your superior more often, it was when you also realized you were fucked. To the others, surely it looked just like a very unethical and paperwork-worthy sexual tension, but you weren’t stupid, and not a teenager anymore, so you couldn’t find any excuses for the lingering glances and touches, how you started worrying more for him in battlefield, and you didn’t know if it was comforting or terrifying for you to think that he probably realized what was going on inside your head whenever he looked back at you, even if his hardened and unreadable gaze never faltered. Some nights, you’d find yourself alone in your cot wondering if you were imagining it all or if the longing you felt for his reciprocity was too delusional, and the thought made your throat ache in the worst way possible. You knew it was a bad idea, but you were unable to restrain yourself from finding your way back to his bed more often than not - and whenever he’d open the door for you when the base was already dead silent, realizing he also seemed glad to see you made all of your rational thoughts go out the window. 
“Quit the starin’.” 
Oh. Right. You were still looking at him. You muttered out a low sorry and looked down at your cup, well aware of Simon’s gaze burning holes into your face. So much for not staring.
“Why don’t you ever go home?”
There’s that word again. You wondered if your experience with feeling so stateless after fleeing from the place you used to call your own such a long time ago was that uncommon between soldiers, and suddenly the beer in your tongue didn’t taste that bitter anymore. 
“It was just a place like any other. I’m afraid there hasn’t been anythin’ for me there in a while, so i guess i don’t really got one anymore.” 
But again, you did wonder why Simon was all the way over to Liverpool and not Manchester, and a part of you selfishly hoped you weren’t alone with the gut wrenching feeling of not belonging anywhere but your base. Not that he’d ever admit to something like that. Simon was not the kind of man to say his thoughts clearly, or with words, for that matter.
“No family? Friends?” 
Chuckling dryly, you’d let yourself linger a bit longer on Ghost’s sudden interest in actually knowing you more than physically if his bluntness didn’t amuse you in a bitter way.
“People realize really quickly how hard it is to keep relationships with someone who’s gone for months on end, and could very well be dead in a ditch the next time you try to call. Can’t say I blame ‘em.”
Simon said nothing in response, but his gaze on you seemed to soften a bit. Experiencing him outside of the battlefield was the kind of thing that would surely give you whiplash, years of military experience and living through horrors beyond comprehension would, of course, make him have a dangerous and reserved aura 24/7, but watching him let loose just a little bit and allow himself to be minimally vulnerable through his gaze and casually, softer spoken words were a new sort of fascinating. He was never the kind of person to ask things out of politeness, no, he was brazen and direct, so his genuine curiosity in you made it difficult to calm your already palpitating heartbeat. 
Under the lights of a very dimly lit pub in East Liverpool, you were seeing not Ghost, not your Lieutenant, but only Simon Riley. You came to the conclusion you really liked this side of him. So, you decided to take your chances and prod a little bit more.
“What about you, Lieutenant? Where is home for you?”
“Classified.”
You chuckled, and a tiny, barely-there smirk formed on his lips before he hid it with the rim of his bourbon glass. It was worth a try.
You lost track of how long you were sitting there, in silence, just listening to the static-ish audio of the shitty television on the corner of the bar or the idle chat of other patrons, occasionally muttering something to Ghost, but it all felt superficial. You wanted to jump him, to strip him bare, not of his clothes, but of all of him that was a façade, and lay down every word left unsaid. Maybe it was selfish, but you wanted him to let you care for him the way he cared for you. For every time he’d wordlessly patch up your wounds in a dirty alleyway, push you out of a sniper’s line of sight or bark orders for you to get to fucking safety, you wanted to help him through each nightmare (that he thought you didn’t notice it plagued his nights more often than not, leaving him restless the next day), and hold him close when the throes of carrying a whole team and an entire life of trauma on his back became too much to bear on his own. You felt like a fool, pining over a man who made no effort to hide how little he trusted people.
Soon enough, the pub grew quieter and more devoid of people, and at some point you and Ghost decided the bartender’s gaze was way too unwelcoming, as he clearly wanted to go home, so you wordlessly decided to go back to your aimless wandering. A few of your old army colleagues wouldn’t hesitate to pull off their military card to get what they wanted, whenever and however they wanted, but just the thought made your stomach turn in disgust. Your blood stained hands didn’t feel like the ones of a hero that deserved to be pampered. 
“Why are you still here anyway?”
He had asked you a few days after your conversation in that dingy safehouse. You had found yourself brushing shoulders side by side together after you went out for a smoke in the base, running into him leaned against a parked truck, lost in thought. For some reason, the question made you feel ashamed to meet his eyes, even if his tone wasn’t accusatory; just curious.
“I feel like it’s too late for me. I’ve seen too much. There’s nothing else I know how to do at this point.”
Your tongue felt like lead inside your mouth. A part of you longed for an early retirement so you could live a quiet and monotonous life somewhere in the countryside, but you also knew most people with your lifestyle wouldn’t live enough to see retirement.  Alas, deep inside you felt like it was impossible to not grow restless if you were to live a life free of the adrenaline you embraced as a vice. It felt hypocritical, suffering over the consequences of your own choices, but God knows you’d leave in a heartbeat if you weren’t already too far deep in. You’d suppose becoming a soldier had its good sides, though, even if just the idea of finding any comfort in your work made you uneasy. Surely you’d never have met the 141 otherwise and, consequently, made them your little dysfunctional found family. You’d hold onto that for the sake of your sanity. On your side, Ghost hummed, acknowledging what you were saying, and maybe you’d find he could relate to your feelings, somehow. 
“It’s difficult to let go of a whole life of violence.”
His words had stuck with you, as wise and cryptic in a way only he managed to pull it off.
Outside, the drizzle seemed to have gotten a bit stronger in the last few hours, but neither of you cared enough for it. It didn’t feel that bad compared to the storms that rained over you in open fields or the mud you’d have to crawl across to stay hidden sometimes. You’d feel pretty stupid if this little rain actually got you sick, but that was a worry for future you. It didn’t even cross your mind to ask Ghost if you were heading somewhere, you just followed him blindly, analyzing him in silence and noticing he looked good in civilian clothes, the plain black hoodie fitting him perfectly. From the little distance you walked besides him, you could notice he was smelling good, a mixture of cologne and his natural musk which you were already very well acquainted with.
The street was clearly in a commercial district, and it felt even quieter than the one you were before. All the stores were closed with only a faint night light illuminating a few of their interiors, and you appreciated the faint smell of the sea by being somewhat close to the port. 
You enjoyed the stillness of it all and the lack of people to make you jealous with their normal, happy lives. 
Subconsciously, you barely noticed that you ended up scooting even closer to Simon as you walked, happy he didn’t seem to mind it. 
Suddenly, he stopped mid-walk, and you became hyper aware of how much you were staring at him. God, you felt like a creep. After a second, he spoke in a murmur, not turning to look at you.
“Since when?”
You waited for him to elaborate what he meant, but it never came. Chuckling nervously, you peered up at him, confused.
“Since when…what?”
Finally, he turned to look at you with something indescribable in his eyes. It made you feel small, like he wanted to devour you, but it also made your heart leap in your chest, like he wanted to devour you. 
“I know how you feel about me. You’re not very subtle about it. I’m not bloody stupid, kid. ”
Your head snapped towards him at his harsh words, even if his low voice and gentle-ish tone didn’t quite reflect the true nature of them, but any witty reply you had died down once you saw how his eyes were downturned in unease.
Oh.
Oh.
You realized what he’s talking about, and turns out your late night musings were right - at least part of them. Simon leaves no opening to figure out by his body language what the bringing up of the topic means to him. Maybe he doesn’t care. Maybe he will reject you and reprimand you for being unprofessional (as if loving him was more unprofessional than fucking your superior). Maybe-
“I’m…not sure.” You admit, refusing to meet his steely gaze. “It just…happened. Stopped being just casual sex a while ago.”
His silence makes seconds feel like hours. You try to control your labored breathing by listening to the soft pitter-patter of the rain that’s back to drizzling on the store awning you’re both under. A part of you wishes the rain would suddenly get so strong it would break the awning and drag you away with the current from Simon’s soul-crushing silence. You feel stupid, foolish.
Fool, fool, fool-
He closes the distance between your bodies. Having never paid much detailed attention to the rare occasions when gloves didn’t adorn his hands outside the bedroom, you suddenly notice how much his palms feel a pleasant kind of rough and calloused when they don’t carry the intent of ravaging you, so big against your face as he gently cradles you. Of course, he knows you’re a soldier, not some porcelain doll to be easily broken, but God knows how much seeing him hold you as if you’re something precious makes your once-labored breathing come to a halt altogether. His eyes are soft, half lidded, and uncertain on you as he murmurs out sorrowfully.
“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, kid.”
For the first time ever, you feel like you’re the only person who’s ever seen Simon Riley look scared. You don’t know if he’s afraid of hurting you or the other way around.
Instinctively, your own hands gingerly go to the top of his in a light caress, and you fight against the urge to close your eyes and breathe in his musk as you lean into his touch. This up close he also smells faintly like cigarettes.  
“Maybe not.” You admit, and you hope he can notice the way you look up at him with hearts in your eyes and willing to wear your own on your sleeve. “But I want to find out.”
He doesn’t really smile - he almost never does - , but his gaze holds a promise in it, a vow. One of his hands leaves your face to hike up his mask, and you expect it to stop just below his nose, as always, but he keeps going until it rests on top of his dirty blonde hair, making your breath hitch once again. You were wrong about him; you didn’t need to strip him bare, no, you realize he’d do it for you if you asked. A long time ago you decided you didn’t give a shit about how his face looked, but you made sure to take a good look at him, finally committing his features to memory, acknowledging his trust in you and also how much you really were a fool by underestimating it before. The stubble on his jaw feels coarse under your fingertips, and you indulge yourself by lightly tracing the scar on his lip the way you wanted to do with all of his marks ever since that morning. It occurs to you that even when the hookups turned into something more, you had never seen him so vulnerable, and it sets an equally giddy and unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach, as if you were witnessing something you weren’t supposed to, but you weren’t about to question his resolve. Taking the reins - as he always does - his lips are on yours in an instant, and you swear you’d die happily at that instant.
The way he kisses you is something new, slow and passionate, as if trying to savor every piece of you at his pace and communicate what he doesn’t know how to put into words. You’d kissed before, sure, but it was always animalistic, an aggressive dance filled with wanton growls deep from his throat and your involuntary whines whenever he would bite your lip - a gazelle in the jaws of a lion - and in the occasions sex was tender, it was most likely because something bad had happened, and you’d hide your face in the crook of his neck so he could pretend not to notice how much you needed it - him -  to cope and how much his touch kept you grounded; you’d like to imagine yours made him feel something of the sorts as well. Simon Riley was not the type of man to engage in raw emotional affairs without getting something out of it. And yet, as you close your eyes to hug his neck, bringing his large body impossibly closer to yours, you feel like he is finally giving all of him to you in the rawest way he knows how to. Of course, you’re not teenagers, and with the way of life you lead, emotional attachment can make any soldier feel dreadful for their future, so it would be foolish to expect a full on love confession in the rain, but, if anything, you suddenly realize you can feel Simon’s heart beating fast on his chest through your own, and that is enough for you, making you smile against him. 
When you separate, there’s still minimal distance between you two, the air around you feels lighter, and you surround yourself in affection by the way Simon looks down at you adoringly. Any outsider would be quick to say he has the look of a stone cold predator, and he is as unreadable as they come, but once you start dealing with the true man under the mask - even if only figuratively -, you realize that his eyes are truly the window of his soul, and any words left unspoken you’d die to uncover are visible in his dark hues the moment he looks at you. A few blocks away, a clock tower strikes midnight and you spare the building a look from where you can see it.
“Merry Christmas, Simon.” You murmur, knowing full well religious holidays are neither yours or Simon’s thing. The irony of it all is lost when he huffs out a small noise of amusement and distances himself just enough to extend his arm for you to take, his gaze never leaving your form. You could point out he hasn’t really lowered his mask yet but you enjoy the view too much so you might as well indulge in it while he doesn’t remember to do so. His bicep is thick and strong under your fingers as you grip him gently, and he nods forward beyond the awning.
“It stopped raining. Let's get going.”
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Dungeon Meshi rewatch ep 4 notes
dearest @eelo I figured I might as well use this opportunity to fulfill a wish of yours and bring my ass back to tumblr 🤣🤣 when this goes terribly wrong and I start living on here again I am totally coming for you btw
new dungeon structure info:
3rd floor is the Golden Castle that is now in ruins
there are toilets in the busy areas of the dungeon, scattered around
skeletons of former castle residents roam the halls LMFAO look at this dude
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most monsters on 3rd floor are bones or decayed so there aren't many you can eat but
GOLEMS ARE HERE IT'S THE GOLEM GARDEN EPISODE lmfaoooo love it
Senshi uses golems as a garden bc they've got perfect conditions to grow food
he kills them by hitting their core so that they can harvest veggies
it's against the law to activate magical creatures without permission (Senshi plants Golems without permission lmfao)
you can revive them by replanting them
side note: I really find it interesting how death is not as big of a deal in this universe. It's not like they don't care at all, but there doesn't seem to be question of "is it really the same person/creature"? maybe it's just me, but I feel like I'd worry about that a lot if I lived in their world.
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this quote from Senshi!!!! YES! I agree and I love him for this
turns out Senshi gets his fertiliser by cleaning the toilets on this floor oops (Marcille is NOT happy about that lol)
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another great quote from Senshi, this whole part is awesome. he's basically saying that if he stops cleaning the toilets and tending to the Golems, the whole dungeon will change because the monsters from lower floors will come up to take the place of the Golems etc. It's a delicate ecosystem and everyone plays a part, which is why hunting and eating monsters and giving back to the dungeon is important for maintaining balance. I love it 10/10 lore and world building
Senshi used the veggies to barter with some customers on the lower levels but they probably won't have time for them rn
there are merchants in the dungeon and it seems kinda hush hush secret club vibes but they get in (and then almost get thrown out bc they brought veggies to trade with a bunch of criminals ig lol)
oh the orcs are here! I forgot about them (btw they're Senshi's "customers from lower floors"), anyway they kill everyone but Senshi & friends
the red dragon has been showing up near their settlement so they had to run to hide on the 3rd floor
LMFAO they steal their veggies and Senshi asks if they can stay in their camp so
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orcs think elves look "barbaric" which is also a really nice touch
HAHAHAH I forgot gilrfailure and the orc arguing while Senshi is happily making bread
anyway, bad blood between Orcs and Elves, they each have their own version of the events that paints the other side as the worse one (another nice, realistic touch of world building)
the orc mentions the whole "defeat evil magician, get castle/dungeon" thing and asks Laios what he'll do when he gets it (which he hasn't thought about)
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RIP Crafty
random detail: orc cuisine is spicy
awww that ending was so wholesome
Laios says he'll think about what he'd do with the castle/dungeon if he got it. King Laios is a funny idea tho maybe a bit scary too
random screengrabs:
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the carrots sticking out of Laios' armor are sending me aofhoashfoiah
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judyfromfinance · 1 year
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Dead to Me.
(Obey Me/Reader)
Summary: ‘The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb’, it was one of your favorite quotes. It meant that found family can often mean more to you than the family you were born with. The ones you share blood with. And often times it would get shortened down and paraphrased into meaning the exact opposite of what was initially intended.
But after coming back home from your year long stay in the Devildom, your house and family in shambles, it is no longer your favorite quote. The water of the womb that you shared with your sister meant more to you than any blood spilled between you and those 7 demons in hell.
Warnings: Violence. Death. Fighting and Shouting. Thoughts of suicide.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I totally forgot to post this to Tumblr. Oops. Just know this story would not exist without the talented earthliving on AO3 or @another-lost-mc here on Tumblr. My inspiration came from their headcanons Taken. (Hope you don’t mind me tagging you again girly. I totally thought I posted this here rip.)
Your stay in the Devildom was far from easy. Not just because demons threatened to kill you, eat you, or worse. Yes, there was a worse apparently. But because you had to leave behind everything you knew and loved. How the Prince of Hell even had a file on you to begin with was a mystery to you. You for sure don’t remember signing up for any exchange program. Supernatural or otherwise. But they did. And you were chosen. Just like that. Not because you were special or anything, no Lucifer made sure to drill it into your skull that you were chosen by happenstance. And nothing more.
In the beginning everything was rough. And it didn’t help that your ‘dorm mates’ were complete assholes. Stealing from you. At least what little you had to your name. Be it snacks or trinkets. And others ridiculed you. On your fashion sense or lack there of. And, peculiarly enough, on your lack of knowledge on Devildom gaming and anime. You thought for a second that Leviathan could be a friend to you considering your similar interests. You and your own sister grew up around video games and anime. You thought he’d be easier to befriend. But no. He couldn’t care less about you. You remember almost shouting at him after a particularly harsh verbal lashing. You wanted to remind him that anime (and you’re pretty sure video games too) were a human invention and he should get off his high horse and stop gatekeeping like a total incel. But no. You didn’t. Because even though you were upset, you still feared for your life here.
But slowly, things that seemed unnatural almost became… normal. Like some of the food. Although you couldn’t stomach some of it, others weren’t too far off from some human ingredients you were used to. Although no matter who cooked dinner or whatever take out was bought, it could never satisfy your hunger for a home cooked meal. And by home cooked you mean from your home. You didn’t cook often. You were kinda shit at it. But your sister? She liked cooking. And she would sometimes make you foods based off of tiktoks she saw earlier in the day. They may not have come out perfect, but they were great. And you would tell her time and time again how amazing her food was.
Being surrounded by a group of brothers would often bring up thoughts and memories of your sister. Though you tried not to linger too long, otherwise you might cry. And god forbid any of these demons caught you crying in the middle of the hallway. You wouldn’t be able to deal with that embarrassment and ridicule. No, instead you tried your damnded hardest to get used to living here. You’d be here for a year. A whole ass year. Not long for immortal demons sure but it was a lot for little human you. A year away from your little sister. Away from your loved ones and everything you knew. But thankfully, things got better. A lot better.
The brothers started to warm up to you. Starting with Mammon and Beelzebub. I guess it was inevitable with Mammon considering you had made a pact with him on your second day here. He was assigned as your protector. Or as he put it, your babysitter. And you would often tell him he did a shit job at it at first. But eventually after a few too many get rich quick schemes he started to learn more about you. Your dreams. Your fears. He tried to play it off like he didn’t care but it was hard to not care for somebody you eventually spent every waking moment with. He learned to love you. Just like Beel did after he formed a pact with you as well. After you protected him from Lucifer. You both shared stories about your siblings. Yea, Beel was the only one that knew you had a little sister. And he wiped your tears away as you cried about how much you missed her.
And after that each and every brother started to fall like dominoes. You remember the second to last brother to fall. Belphegor. You remember freeing him from the confines of his makeshift prison in the attic. He had tried to kill you. You can still feel the slight scratching of his claws as they grazed against your throat. No wait. He did kill you. You were pulled away by a strong magnetic force as you look at your own corpse on the ground. Bile rose up your throat. You remember your back colliding into a wall and when you looked up, all you saw was dazzling amber. Lord Diavolo and is ever loyal butler Barbatos were quick to arrive on the scene. They had explained who you were. And that maybe you were picked for a reason. The universe wanted you here evidently. Considering you shared blood with their long since dead sister. That day they all found out that Lilith survived and was turned into a human. To spend the rest of her days on earth happily. And you were her descendant. You remember looking around the room at the brothers. Some tearing up and others just looked at you in either awe or confusion. Except for one pair.
Belphegor had a hard time adjusting to this newfound knowledge. His hatred for humans ran deep and it was hard to override something that spanned eons. Even if his beloved sister had become human, it still didn’t mean they weren’t at fault for what happened. And he tried to hate you. He really did. But you wormed your way into his heart. Slowly but surely. Just like you did with the rest of his family. He learned to love you and all of your weird little human habits. He came to remember why he fell in love with the human realm all the way back in his Celestial years. Every time he looked into your eyes he remembered. And he hopes this time he doesn’t forget. Not just for you. But to honor his sister. He wishes he could burn the color of your eyes into his brain so he could see them every time he blinks. He told you that once. You just called him a weirdo and walked away.
You carved out a spot for you in this dysfunctional family. And you learned to love them. Though you had to set boundaries for each of them, lest they walk all over you. You were still human, you had to stick up for yourself ya know? But just because you learned to love these demons as much as they loved you, they can never fill the hole in your heart. And you started to get antsy. You weren’t allowed to contact anyone back home. To protect the Devildom and all that. But you swore up and down to who ever would listen that you wouldn’t jeopardize them like that. You loved them too much to do that. But you also loved your family back at home. And you wanted to just make sure they were ok. And although Lord Diavolo seemed to understand where you were coming from, all your requests were still denied.
Lucifer could tell you were trying to figure out ways to circumvent your denials. So he made sure to tell the other exchange student, mostly Simeon and Solomon, that they were not to help you contact anyone in the human realm. Simeon understood, considering he wouldn’t want to jeopardize his home, the Celestial Realm, either. Solomon just laughed it off but agreed once he saw Lucifer’s glare. He didn’t believe that you would come talk to him or better yet, ask him for a favor. He knew the brothers filled your head with rumors about him. Conniving, sly, shady and untrustworthy little wizard man. He still laughed every time he remembered the hushed whispers, that were a little too loud to still be considered whispers, that Mammon spewed to you about him. No, you wouldn’t come to him for help.
But color him surprised when you showed up at his bedroom door the very next day asking for help for the very thing that Lucifer warned him about. You pleaded your case very well in hindsight. He could see the hope in your eyes as you looked towards the only other human in Hell for help. Sadly for you, it’s been a long time since Solomon has felt such an intense love for a family member such as you do right now. He just didn’t understand your need to contact anyone. And he told you what everyone else did. It’s better for everyone if you just waited till the year ended to see them again. So you did.
You pushed your love for your sister to the back of your mind and tried to cover it up with the love you had for the brothers. You spoiled them rotten. Lucifer too when he would allow it. But he was often times the one to tell you to stop babying his brothers. Asmodeus would shout that you were a grown woman and if you wanted to baby him then Lucifer should let you! Everyone decided not to acknowledge the fact that he only mentioned you babying him and not any of the others. You learned how to cook with the best of them. Though you were still kinda scared of knifes. But you had to. To help feed Beel and his never ending appetite. You felt so bad for him that you always made sure to make extras for him every time you cooked. It must be Hell to feel like you’re starving all the time. You even bought him a mini fridge to keep in his room. Lucifer admonished you for that too.
No brother was left out of your loving and giving ways. Gaming with Levi was fun, though you did mention how much he hurt you at the beginning of your time here, he soon went on a spiel about how he was a yucky otaku and he didn’t deserve your friendship. You kind of wanted to let him know that this manipulation thing wasn’t cute but it was already 3 in the morning, you were too tired. So you just said you forgiven him and went to bed. Once in your room you noticed Satan on your bed, asleep with a book you had bought him from the human world open on his lap. You set the book aside and curled up next to him. He grumbled about pirates and treasure islands as drool dripped from his lips. No these brothers could never replace your lovely little sister. But they were becoming more of a family to you than some other members of your real family. You soon fell asleep and dreamed about memories long since passed.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
You were sitting on your bed as your sister sat beside you. You both watched your tv and laughed as your favorite streamer said something stupid again. She turned to you and spoke.
“You know, I love it when I infect you.”
“What? What does that mean?” You questioned.
“I just like to see you enjoy stuff that I like. I like showing you my special interests and you actually listen and enjoy them too. It makes me feel nice. Appreciated isn’t the right word.” She grumbled, trying to find words for her jumbled thoughts. “I don’t know. I just like that you’re here with me.”
You stare into your sisters eyes as your own begin to tear up. You were always the one to cry in your family. A big ol’ crybaby. But you couldn’t help it. Sometimes you just ‘felt things’ way too much.
“I understand what you’re saying. I like that you’re here with me too.” You pull your sister into a hug. “I’ll always be here for you. No matter what. You wanna talk about something you like for hours on end? Let’s do it, just let me get comfortable first.” She elbowed you. You kiss the top of her head. “If you ever need someone to talk to about your feelings, or if somebody is scaring you or bothering you or whatever, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here. You know you’re the person I care most about in the world right?” She lifts up her head and smiles.
“I know.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It’s been a year. A whole year away from your family and you’re getting ready to finally see them again. You can’t wait to see them… but it feels… wrong somehow. Like you’re leaving a part of you behind. The whole house was in dismay this last week. Everyone was quiet. The brothers were contemplating on how they were going to get on with life without you. Some of them believed they can go about their regular business just fine without you. But they knew. In the back of their minds they knew that you stepped into their lives and shook up their world. Altering it forever. They loved you. Fully. And when these 7 demons loved something, it was hard for them to unclasp their claws from that something. But with you, they couldn’t hide you away. Lock you in a room and throwaway the key. Though some contemplated it. No. They had to let you go.
And like you said, it wasn’t just hard on them. You loved them too. Through all the blood, sweat, and tears you survived and came out the other side with a whole new perspective on life and a new family. It was gonna be hard leaving them. So when the day finally came to go, you cried. You couldn’t bring all your Devildom trinkets with you, considering some of their origins. So you gifted them back to the brothers that would cherish them the most.
You gifted Asmo a peculiar hexed hair comb that a RAD student gave you. It was supposed to be cursed so the user would always have bad hair days if they used the brush. Luckily for you, that person flunked their Hexing 101 class, so it literally did the exact opposite. You told Asmo that his hair was beautiful and he’d never need it, but he should have it, just in case. He wept into your shoulder as he hugged you. Levi got a anime figurine that you bought yourself. It was from a random Demonic Anime that you’ve never watched but you bought it because it was cute and pink. He told you exactly where he would be putting it and how he’d dust it everyday. You just giggled as you moved on.
Satan got a spell book from you. It belonged to your spell casting teacher that took a particular liking to you. Satan didn’t have the heart to tell you that he already had that edition. But he still cherished it regardless. Beel and Belphie got scarves that you crocheted yourself. Apparently the yarn was magical and imbued with a special silk webbing that would take the makers feelings and use them to keep itself warm. So if you loved the person you gifted it too, it would exude heat. And boy, were they toasty every time they wore it. Luckily it was always decently cold in the Devildom.
Then came the next two, Mammon and Lucifer. You stopped in front of them both as you knew you were keeping everyone too long. You took out a necklace and a ring. Both bought for you from your own mother. You felt a little bad giving these gifts away. They did mean a lot to you. But so did the 2 demons standing in front of you. You handed the necklace with a simple sunflower charm to Mammon as you handed the accompanying sunflower engraved ring to Lucifer. You told them they didn’t have to wear them or anything. Especially since the ring won’t fit Lucifer’s fingers anyways. But still, you wanted to leave a little part of you with them. A small sliver of your soul. Solomon told you once that if a human wore something or had something on their person for long enough, that object could retain pieces of that person spirit. Their energy. And you wore those bits of jewelry your whole life. It felt right to give these two men something from the heart. Since they truly stole yours.
You walked back over to Diavolo and Barbatos as you stood side by side with Solomon. They asked if you were finally ready to go back home. You nodded as you turned towards the portal, you wiped away your tears and pushed your way through the fog. Leaving this place you called Home.
Mammon looked down into his hand. The simple silver chain and sunflower charm glinting in the moonlight. He could feel a tear slip down his cheek as he saw your aura encapsulate the pendant. A beautiful shimmering glow that only creatures such as him could see. He quickly closed his hand into a fist, already feeling his sin clawing at his heart. Wanting no one to see the beautiful piece of yourself that you left for him and only him. Well, him and Lucifer. Lucifer ushered his brothers back the House of Lamentation. As they all walked into the parlor, a silent yearning filled them all. Belphegor was the one to brake it.
“I miss them.” All the brothers could do was nod, as they all felt the same.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
No. No no no no. NO. This was not supposed to happen! What the fuck happened!? No no, you promised her. Now look what happened. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE! WHY WEREN’T YOU THERE!?
You sobbed and begged and pleaded. You choked on your own vomit as you heaved into the trash can. The people around the police station looked towards you in pity as you screamed and wailed that this was all just a bad dream. They had to interview you, as were a potential suspect but they could tell you had no idea what happened. The pain in your voice, in your eyes, was real. Now the interrogation was more so a formality , for the paperwork than to get any real answers.
You couldn’t go home. There was no home to go to. It was infested with men and women in blue uniforms and wrapped up in yellow tape. Your house was a crime scene. Your sister was gone. You promised her. No. You lied to her.
You look towards your phone and see the millions of messages and calls that never went through to you since you been stuck in hell. The last one replayed in your head on loop. Your little sisters voice pleading for you to come home, she’s scared. There’s someone in the house. She called 911 but their not here yet. Why’d you leave me? What did I do? Oh god. Their in my room. I can see him. No no NO! HE’S… than nothing but blood curdling screaming and sobbing came after that. You hear a wet squelch before someone picked up the phone to end the call.
You heaved into the bucket as you cried. Your baby sister. Your everything. Is gone. She’s gone. And it’s your fault.
This is all your fault.
It’s ALL YOUR FAULT!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It’s been months since any of the brothers have seen you and they’ve, for the most part, have gotten things back to normal. All of them miss you dreadfully but there’s nothing they can do. Despite how hard some of them try.
Belphie has tried multiple times, along with Satan, to open up a portal to the Human realm to visit you themselves. Lucifer thwarted each and every one of their attempts. Mammon tried bribing Witches and Warlocks alike to take him up top so he can see you all by himself. Of course, none of them helped him. And then there were the others that held onto their sadness but kept chugging on anyways. Like Asmo or Beel.
It was just a normal day in the House of Lamentation when Lucifer gets an urgent call from Lord Diavolo. Ordering him and his brothers to come down to the castle now. Lucifer rounds up his brothers and leave’s immediately.
“What’s the big rush? Why does he need us there right now?” Mammon shoves his hands into his pocket. Toying with his little piece of you.
“I don’t know but he sounded urgent. If there’s something wrong in the Devildom and Lord Diavolo needs our help with it, then we shall abide.” Lucifer storms off in front of everybody as he knocks upon the ginormous doors of the castle. Barbatos opens them and ushers everyone inside.
“Barbs~, what’s the problem? I don’t feel like getting my clothes dirty today.” Asmo groans as he glided next to Barbatos. He sighs. “It’s quite… difficult to explain. They’re back.” Levi rolls his eyes as he toys with his D.D.D.
“Who?”
“(Y/n).”
And with that, all the demons went sprinting towards the main dining area. As they got closer they heard shouting and screaming. They all feel their pact with you flare up. The burst through the doors as they see you being pinned down to the floor by some royal guards. All of them shifted into their demonic forms but only two of them went in for the kill. Mammon and Belphegor were held back as Lucifer and Beel struggled to keep them in place.
“What in the Hell happened here!?” Lucifer shouted. Satan looks around the room and sees destruction of plates and chairs. He looks towards Diavolo and notices a very slight reddening on his cheek. Had you… Had you hit him? How did you achieve that? He looked towards you and all he could see was a mess. Clothes dirty. Hair oily. Face splotchy and red. Your eyes were even redder. Puffy. Like you haven’t slept since leaving them all those months ago. But you didn’t look tired. You didn’t look sad despite the constant tears running down your face. He didn’t need to be the Avatar of Wrath to be able to tell that you were furious.
Lucifer has also came to the same conclusion as he eventually let go of Mammon and made his way to you. He kneels down by you as he ushers the guards away. The reluctantly let go and you slowly push yourself up. He tries to help you but you smack his hand as hard as you could. You sit on the floor as you try and catch your breath.
“(Y/n)… what has gotten into you? What has happened that would cause you to behave this way?” You wipe your face and look at your hand. Red blood smeared across the surface. Your nose was smashed pretty harshly on the ground when the guard tackled you. Lucifer just keeps calling your name. Spewing questions left and right. You don’t answer any of them. You don’t need to. No. No. They answer to you. You pull yourself with the broken chair beside you as you look towards Diavolo once again. There’s a sadness in his eyes that you refuse to acknowledge. You wobble your way closer to him but the guards stop you. You can hear A few of the brothers growl in the background but you pay them no mind.
“It’s your fault.” You whisper. Barely holding back a sob. “It’s… it’s all your fault!” You cry. Diavolo tries to ask you about this perceived slight that you have against him. But you cut him off. “Out of all the shit that I’ve been through…” spit flies past your teeth as you stutter out your words in barely veiled anger. “All the shit I’ve done for YOU!” You point towards him. “For THEM!” You wave your arms towards the 7 demonic entities behind you. “And all I ask for was a call. Not even! A fucking text! Anything. FUCKING ANYTHING!” You grab a broken shard of something off the table as you chucked it at the Prince with all your might. You barely grazed his arm. “And look what fucking happened!”
You fall to your knees as you sob and heave. “She’s gone. I promised her and because of you I couldn’t be there. SHE needed me and YOU took me away!” You bang your hand against your chest hard enough to give yourself a bruise as you moaned in despair. The air in the room seemed to vanish. The brothers were told about your sister from Beel. You had never mentioned her to them. But Beel took it upon himself to mention her. They grew excited at the prospect of meeting another one of Lillith’s descendants. You were the oldest? Sooo, were you more like Lucifer or more like Mammon? The thought of meeting this person that you clearly loved, at least from what Beelzebub had told them, instantly left their minds as they all connected the dots. Your little sister was dead. She had died while you were down here. Having fun with your new family.
Asmo gasped silently into his hand as everyone else took their turns as shock and horror ran through them. Beel and Belphie however, stood stock still. The complet and utter pain you were feeling. They new it all too well. All the brothers did. But the twins had dealt with a different type of pain. Considering they were once triplets. Belphie made the first move to try and comfort you. But you just shoved him away as you clumsy maid your way to Barbatos. You cling to him as if he was the only thing keeping you alive. Sane.
“Please. You can bring her back. You did it with me you can do it it again. Please bring her back. Please just please do it. Please I’m begging you please…” you sob into his chest. Tears soaking into his butler uniform. He pays your back and says. “I’m sorry (Y/n). But that’s just now how it works.” You fling yourself off of him.
“YES. YES IT DOES! It has too. You have to bring her back. You did it with me. Why not her!?” You slowly raise your hands, palm up. “Or… or… you can take me instead? Yeah. You can do that right? My soul for hers.” You ask quietly but his constant shaking of his head just angers you. You claw at your head, pulling at your hair.
“You’re a fucking demon! Souls are your thing! Not only that but you’re the only demon in all of Hell to have fucking time powers. LIKE HELL IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY! Are you really that fucking stupid!? That fucking WEAK?” You feel arms pull you back towards a warm chest. Belphegor holds you close as he tries to overpower you with his Sin. You can feel yourself get sleepy. You start to fall back towards the ground but Belphie holds you up. He whispered in your ear.
“I know (Y/n). I understand your sadness. Your anger. Your violence. But let’s sleep for now.” You try and struggle out of his arms but your arms feel like lead. You feel numb to the world. So instead you use up your last bits of energy to spew out one more sentence.
“I don’t give a shit. You’re dead to me.” Because even though you knew they could understand you better than most, the guilt that warped your brain lingered heavily. The day your sister died was the same day you told the brothers during dinner that you considered all of them your family. Levi jokingly asked which of your family was better? And you jokingly replied… them. So in the back of your mind, to keep you from killing yourself in despair you pushed every single negative emotion you felt onto those around you.
“You’re fucking dead to me.”
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azzayofchaos · 10 days
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Mail Demon au sounds amazing tell us more.
Sorry it took me a while to get to this! The more specific asks were easier to tackle, also school started again and I forgot about tumblr, oops, but ima use this as an excuse to rant about PET!
Here’s a silly thing I wrote, it’s mostly an excuse to note some details on how the Demons tend to “appear” to the average mortal viewer. And it alludes a bit to their history with the town!
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ayamari-no-goshi · 8 months
Text
Don’t Forget to Write (6)
.... I apparently forgot to post the last chapter when I released it months ago. Oops.
AO3 -> first, previous
Fandoms: DC (Batman comics)
Summary: From Dick’s POV.  Damian happened to win a contest to illustrate a new book by an up and coming author. Being the good brother he is, Dick decided to check the book.He quickly realized he was reading a  very first hand account of one of Jason’s old cases, and deciding to act like a normal person would, he decided to read some of the author’s other works. What he found shook the very foundation of what he thought  was true?  
Warnings: rated T - mostly for swearing and questionable mental health. Amnesia
Parings: none
Notes: originally uploaded to AO3. Cross-posted to tumblr
“Stop grumbling for a moment. It’s about to start,” Dick teased as Jason continued to pace. After almost two months of preparations and another three weeks to convince Jason, they were finally having the press conference to announce he was alive.
His brother shot him a look as he messed with his tie yet again. While it was clear he was nervous, most of his discomfort came from the prosthetics he had to wear to make it look like nothing suspicious happened, and he was doing his best not to touch them. Over time, they would be changed to make it appear as if he’d healed either on his own or through some treatment. They were currently leaning towards the latter as an explanation, especially with how severe the damage to his hands used to be.
Deciding messing with his clothes wasn’t getting him anywhere, he reached into his suit jacket, pulled out a cigarette, and placed it to his lips. They were working on breaking him of that habit again, but at least he had no desire to light it. With the return of his memories, there was now an understanding why he couldn’t tolerate the smell of the smoke. It subconsciously reminded him too much of what happened.
“I thought Pennyworth searched your person for those.” Damian seemed moderately impressed.
Jason gave a mischievous grin. “He did.”
“You’re going to have to teach me how you did that. Nothing gets passed Alfred,” Tim stated as he double checked the prosthetics on Jason’s hands. Those were the ones most likely to come loose.
“I’ll think about it.”
It warmed Dick’s heart to see how his younger siblings interacted. While they were still getting used to each other, things were going relatively well.
One of the first things Dick did was make sure he gave Jason a summary of the others’ histories. It ended up being the right move as Jason admitted he had very conflicted emotions over the fact there had been other Robins after him. The one thing he couldn’t seem to reconcile with was Bruce allowing any child back in those colors. He didn’t think that kids truly understood the risks of playing hero, and that was something he was still coming to terms with himself. Dick made sure to tell his brother that it was his death that brought that to light for him too.
But as a result of that conversation, Dick noticed Jason’s protective streak towards his younger siblings. At one point, he had a nasty argument with Bruce after Damian came to his apartment to get away from the Manor for a night. Since it was a fight with Bruce that triggered his flight and eventual death, Jason was not going to tolerate Bruce’s inability to articulate his emotions and cause another catastrophe. It was amazing to watch, and in its own way, started changing how they conversed with each other for the better.
It also opened the door for everyone to start randomly crashing at Jason’s apartment. However, his apartment wasn’t really large enough for the constant influx of siblings and pseudo-siblings. So, they were working on getting Jason a much better apartment that was up to Bat standards near Crime Alley. It was supposed to be a surprise. But seeing as he stated that if anyone spent an exorbitant amount of money on him needed to make a donation of an equal amount to the charity organization who helped take care of him while he had no memories, he clearly already knew. In Dick’s opinion, that was a fair request.
For the most part, they were going to leave the decorating up to Jason. But they were all working on finding more bat and bird plushes to match his other ones. Damian had been the one to announce it wasn’t appropriate he only had ones that represented Dick, himself, and Bruce. They were still trying to figure out if Steph’s and Alfred’s should also follow that pattern or be different animals.
They were also working on sprucing up Jason’s old room. While he didn’t want to give up his independence, Jason had begun staying over the Manor some nights. It thrilled Alfred to have him back home, and soon the two started baking together again. And if he wasn’t doing that, Tim, Cass, Steph, or even Damian had begun commandeering him for various activities. Usually it was related to movies, but Dick did once catch Jason assisting Damian with some of his English homework. Even Babs, once she’d gotten the okay to come visit, had started stealing Jason away on some days.
Alfred even reported he found Bruce and Jason playing chess together. Dick could remember his brother venting about how Bruce always beat him at the game when he was still in the Manor. While it didn’t mean that everything was good between them, it showed they were working on it.
In Dick’s case, he decided to wait for Jason to reach out to him regarding bonding activities. Sure, he made suggestions of various activities he’d like to do with him, but they were just that, suggestions. Not only was Jason overwhelmed with everything, but there was also the distance there had been between them before his death. That was something he couldn’t just erase. While Jason hadn’t yet taken him up on any of his offers, he had rather shyly asked if Dick could help him get back in shape. And to him, that was a huge victory.
Even though Mask was finally back in jail, the likelihood he’d be back out on the streets sooner than later was high. So, retraining himself made a lot of sense even if he had a wicked swing with his tire iron.
They still weren’t entirely sure if Jason was going to rejoin the vigilante life. While it had come up in a couple conversations, Jason’s answer was always vague. However, he was willing to start being their ears on the streets. He already had a good rapport with the regulars of Crime Alley so sending them information he happened to learn wasn’t too much extra work. Babs had also started training him on her system, just in case.
The other aspect that was up in the air in Jason’s life was his writing career. His stories were an unconscious attempt to put back together the pieces of his former life, and he’d accidentally given away a lot of hints towards their lives and secrets. With his memories back, it was unlikely he’d be able to write in the exact same way which could raise some alarms. For now, he was reviewing what he had almost finished to see how much he needed to change and whether or not it was salvageable. He also wanted to write some short pieces in different genres to see how they’d be received.
There was also upheaval happening at the publishing company. After it was revealed Amy was Black Mask’s assistant once he was finally caught, the GCPD finally got involved. While most of the recent disappearances of writers were directly related to Mask and his paranoia, there was evidence it had occurred in the past if one of the Families were involved with the company. Trying to save face, the company gutted itself out and was in the process of rehiring, which put most of their projects on hold. At least Jason currently didn’t have to worry about any of his projects getting him into any more trouble for the time being.
The only thing he seemed certain of was that he was going to continue working with the organization that helped him out so much over the years. Now that he would have a proper identity again, he would be able to support them in ways he couldn’t do before. Well, that would be after he dealt with any outstanding bills or taxes he owed over the years. He was also going to go for his GED. Once that was squared away, he was going to consider college since it had been something he always dreamed of, even when he was on the streets trying to care for himself.
“Cass, seriously! Stop stealing them!” Jason snapped. Coming out of his thoughts, Dick watched as their sister gracefully kept just out of reach while laughing. It had become something like a game between them.
“Since we’re getting close to show time,” Dick stated after glancing at the clock. The press conference was to begin in just five minutes, “Let’s go back over the basics.”
“I didn’t start getting my memory back until I met you guys after the interview with Vicki Vale, which is mostly true,” Jason stated, almost bored, as he gave up on getting his cigarette back. They had reviewed this several times by that point. “But it wasn’t until Black Mask got interested in me which got Batman’s attention that revelations were made.”
“If asked, we are to state that Batman recognized him due to previous interactions with us and started the process of verifying his identity,” Damian continued. “We are to let Father answer any questions regarding the non-existent body in his grave.”
“Bruce stated he’s going to phrase it as a misidentification that had only recently come to light,” Tim continued. “He’s going to do what he can to help the GCPD to identify whoever is in that grave. I’m still not entirely sure exactly how he’s planning on that one. I thought he was going to ask J’onn to play the role, but it seems like he has something else in mind. He also has some story regarding how the switch happened and how you returned to Gotham.”
“I thought he was going to play the ‘we have no idea, but we’re going to find out’ card. At least that’s what he told me,” Jason huffed. “Thankfully, I can’t really contradict whatever bullshit he comes up with. The time between coming back and waking up in the hospital is thankfully fuzzy. Are we certain someone got hold of my medical records?”
Dick nodded. “I think Bruce did that on purpose to help prove how bad of a condition you were in. It’ll at least take some of the pressure off of you, but I don’t doubt some idiot is going to try to push some buttons.”
“If they want to go after me, that’s fine. I’m not going to be happy if they decide to take digs at anyone other than me or Bruce.”
“Wouldn’t that be a headline? ‘Lost Wayne son fist fights reporter’,” Tim teased, though there was no doubt in Dick’s mind that it could happen.
“Let’s try not to do that. But I think both Lois and Clark are in the audience. They’ll hopefully be able to keep things under control.”
Outside their family, the first two people Bruce let know that Jason was alive ended up being Clark and Diana. They had asked to see him as soon as he was willing. After that, it was only a matter of time before the rest of the hero community found out. Dick was partially responsible for the leak after he let it slip to Donna, who told Wally, and it just snowballed from there. Soon other heroes were visiting just to see Jason. It had the unintended effect of allowing him to start making friendships he never had a chance to while being Robin. It was easing the loneliness he’d been harboring for years.
Someone knocked on the door of the room they were currently borrowing. “Guess that’s our cue,” Dick stated as he gently pushed Jason towards the door.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” Dick questioned as he watched Jason do his double checks on his gear.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he answered as he pulled up his hood.
It had been almost eight months since he’d recovered his memories, and he was finally going out on the streets under a new persona. While he hadn’t directly agreed to it before the previous months, he had started back into his training with gusto almost immediately after he got the okay. Unlike the rest of them, he was going to predominately stick to one area as he eased back into it.
He hadn’t picked out a name just yet, but that was fine. He was half willing to let the people of Crime Alley come up with a name for him, but for now, he was going to act as more of a shadow than a directly seen force. To start, he was going to target the pimps and the drug dealers in the area. Once that was better under control, he would branch out to targeting the gangs. They were hoping he’d be able to keep out of the sight of the major rogues until he was in a situation where he was better established.
While he didn’t want to say it, Bruce was uneasy about letting Jason back in the field. His protectiveness had come out in full force as he helped Jason construct his outfit. And interestingly, unlike the rest of them, Jason wanted to make his outfit look less traditional hero and more akin to a civilian. Dick once asked if he wanted to appear as something like a ghost, especially with how Jason wasn’t going to show most of his face. While Jason didn’t directly answer, he just smiled.
In a morbid sort of way, it made sense for him. He’d already died and crawled his way back from the dead. If anyone had the right to act like a ghost, it was Jason. And knowing his brother, he was going to milk it for all it was worth on the streets. Jay always did have a flair for the dramatic after all.
“You better come home in one piece,” Dick warned him. “Seriously, don’t be afraid to call for help.”
Jason stared at him for a moment. While Dick couldn’t see his face well, with the hood up all he could see in the shadows were the red tints from his domino mask, he could tell his brother was smiling. “I lost everything once because I thought I wasn’t wanted. You proved me wrong and helped me find a different ending. I’m not going to risk giving that up again.” He patted his shoulder. “Besides, I still have to get you back for that prank you pulled last week. Can’t do that if I’m dead.”
Dick couldn’t help how he momentarily froze. Jason had begun making jokes about his death. They seemed to be a coping mechanism for him which meant the rest of them had to get used to it. As distressing as addressing it could be, it was something that happened, and they couldn’t get around it. Some days, he wondered if that was why he made those jokes.
“That’s true, but you still need to be in one piece to enact your revenge.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I bet I could get Tim to help me.”
“Pranks can wait until after Patrol.” Bruce gently touched Jason’s shoulder. Concern was barely visible on his face. “It’s time.”
As they took to their respective vehicles, Dick couldn’t help the excitement that raced through him. His brother, the first one he taught how to properly be Robin, was finally going to fly with him again. It had been a long time coming, but they were finally all together again.
Who knew that a simple book, written by a young man without a memory, would have been the key to it?
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