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#I guess it’s just hard to remember people enjoy that and don’t mind waiting
skyward-floored · 3 months
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Don’t say that! I love your writing so much!!! There’s nothing wrong with sticking to canon, and the way you write all the characters is amazing! You have such great characterization and the way you write emotions is just incredible!
Your writing is absolutely incredible, even if you may not believe it yourself you contribute a lot to this fandom and I know you’ve definitely made some of my awful days better just because I read some of the things you’ve published. Every time I see you post I get excited because I love your content so much!
The things you create are valuable and lovely because they’re yours! They are wholeheartedly and entirely yours! That is what makes them amazing! It makes it unique and beautiful and no one else can make it!
I know it’s hard to believe and your mentality won’t change just because I, one insignificant person you’ve never met, said this, but I hope someday you can believe it.
Until then, I (and so, so many other people, I imagine) will remind you as many times as you need. I hope you have an excellent night and I offer you hugs 🫂
Ohhh anon
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I was having a moment of self-doubt and getting frustrated with my writing so I decided to go do something else, and then I come back and see this lovely message that makes me cry 💖
You’re so sweet anon, thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot 😭
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munsons-hellfire · 4 months
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Happiness in the Heart | Eris Vanserra
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SUMMARY: You were in love with Azriel for as long as you could remember. But things changed when Elain joined your family, everything changed. Then you met your mate and suddenly you found everything you ever wanted. But you couldn't have had it had it not been for Azriel.
PAIRINGS: Eris Vanserra x Reader
CONTENT WARNINGS: No smut, Eris is nothing but sweet in this, angst, fluff, mentions of death, mentions of blood, nothing to graphic, mentions of heartbreak.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I had plans to make this a lot more sadder than what is actually written. But I like the way it turned out for the most part. I wanted to write a good sweet side to Eris and this was it. I enjoyed writing this very much and I hope you enjoy it as well.
WORD COUNT: 5.1K
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You’d been a part of the inner circle since you could remember. For a long time you truly felt like one of them but everything seemed to change when the Archeron sisters became a part of the inner circle. Suddenly everyone whom you’d assumed was your friend had disappeared. Azriel was your best friend and the two of you were inseparable and then Elain came into the picture and just like that you lost him.
You didn’t blame Elain, you understood. You knew that maybe you were better off alone. Your thoughts got the better of you telling you that maybe things would be better if you disappeared. Especially when Azriel started spending more time with Elain. You loved him, but had always been too afraid to say something. Though now it seemed like you no longer had a chance.
You were drifting from the inner circle, becoming less and less. Though you would still go out on missions, but for the most part you’d ask Rhys to send you out by yourself. As you started to lock yourself inside your room and away from the people you cared about they didn’t seem to notice. That hurt the most, that you had just disappeared from their lives.
Currently you were in the autumn court, Eris had become the new heir of the Court after his father’s untimely demise. Your friends were around but you paid no mind to them, you had drink after drink until you were drunk enough to hopefully not remember anything the following morning. You looked around the court, Azriel was in the center smiling and dancing with Elain.
Right then and there your heart had officially been torn to pieces. And to make the blow worse you believed that everything that had happened between you and Azriel had been your fault. You had waited too long and now you’d never get a chance to tell him how you felt. Taking a long exhale you grabbed another glass of wine and exited out of the room heading outdoors.
You tumbled down the steps slightly eventually sitting down on one of them, then you dropped your body the rest of the way and stared up at the stars with nothing but a blank gaze as tears cascaded down your face and into your hair. You had tried so hard not to cry but seeing Azriel happy with someone who wasn’t you made it that much worse. A figure stood in front of you glancing down at you.
“I would’ve thought that everyone from the Night Court liked to party.” Eris Vanserra’s voice ran through your ears. The newly appointed High Lord was staring down at you.
“I guess I’m not in the mood for a party.” You mumbled, staring past him.
“Pity.” He paused, wanting nothing more than to stop the tears falling from your face. Eris had known since the High Lord meeting to fight against Hybern that you were his mate. When you had walked into the room and looked at him he had felt the golden thread of the bond tie his soul to yours. But it seemed nothing had snapped for you. It had been 5 years since then, 5 years too long in his eyes. “You look rather divine if I say so myself.”
“You’re compliments won’t do anything to cheer me up.”
Eris moved down the steps, then he held his hand out to you. “Walk with me, my darling fox.”
You grabbed his hand but held a glare on your face. “I’m not your darling fox, don’t call me that.”
The male only smiled as the moonlight highlighted his features. “You say that now, sweetheart.”
You released a groan walking past the High Lord. No matter what you heard about Eris, you couldn’t seem to hate him and you didn’t understand why. When the two of you were far enough from the party Eris shrugged off his cold exterior.
“Why don’t you come stay in my court for a while.” Eris said, showing his compassionate side to you. Shock seemed to wash over your face as you stared at him.
“What? Why?” You rushed out.
“Do those you consider friends really care about you?” He asked a serious look in his amber eyes. “Do they know that you're struggling, that you feel so alone, that the male that you love is not interested in you?” The way he had mentioned Azriel was off putting to you. Like he was upset that you were in love with another male that wasn’t him. But why, is what you wanted to know.
“My burdens are not theirs to bear, they are not yours to bear. We barely know each other.”
“I don’t need to know you to feel your pain, little fox.” Eris lifted a hand and moved a strand of your hair behind your pointed ear. The touch was enough to cause your heart to stutter in your chest,
“How can you feel my pain?”
He sighed, looking away. “You’re my mate, Y/N.” The words were soft and so low you almost didn’t hear him speak it.
“What?” He could hear the confusion in your voice as you stared at him.
Eris didn’t want to repeat himself because he needed to get it off his chest, he needed you to know even if you hadn’t felt the bond, even if there might be a chance that you’d reject it. He couldn’t wake up everyday anymore and feel your pain. He wanted to help, he wanted to be there for you to show you that you're not alone no matter what you think.
“You. Are. My. Mate.” He had paused in between the words and had also stepped closer to you. Your breath hitched in your throat when he grasped your fingers and held them between his. And as if he had spoken it into existence you felt the gold thread tie you to Eris. When he gave a tug on the bond a choked sob left your mouth.
You surprised yourself when you wrapped your hands around the male’s waist and pulled him into a hug. More tears had started to roll down your face as he hugged you back just as tightly. When you pulled back slightly to look up at him he lifted his hand to wipe away the tears.
“What does this mean?” You asked.
“You can stay in the Night Court if that’s what you wish, I won’t force this on you. But I’d like a chance for you to get to know me better. To know the real me and not the cold distant male you’ve met a handful of times.”
“Okay.” You paused, staring into his beautiful eyes. “And when I’m ready to accept the bond?”
“When you’re one day ready to accept it we can hold whatever ceremony you’d like. But I’d only request that you come stay with me here in the Autumn Court. Only after will you be my High Lady. You’ll rule with me by my side, I will not force you to bear my heir, all of that will be your decision. All of this will be yours to choose.”
You nodded your head. “I might need a few days to think about the offer.”
“Very well my little fox.” You rolled your eyes at the male.
───── ❝ ◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸ ❞ ─────
You had traveled back to the Night Court, after that night. Upon returning you felt a little less alone. You thought that the idea of Eris being your mate would scare you, but in truth it excited you. Looking at the supposed friendships, you started to think that maybe it was time to leave. You wanted to know Eris more and eventually accept the bond. You just needed time to adjust to the idea of leaving.
In the weeks that you’d returned home no one had made an effort to see where you’d gone that night. Not even Azriel. Suddenly you no longer felt sad about him not loving you. But it still hurt. The way they had all treated you had hurt. Currently you were on a mission by yourself, Rhys had sent you to a village to see if any danger lie there.
In hindsight you should’ve brought someone with you. But that mistake cost you everything. You’d swore to yourself to keep the village safe from whatever danger loomed over it. But when the fairies appeared and took you out, they had killed every villager. Silence surrounded you, you had blacked out and managed to winnow back home.
Eris could feel your panic, sorrow, fear, and sadness down the bond. You landed in the center of your room, blood covered the entirety of your body and you don’t remember what had happened. All you knew is that whoever had killed the villagers were dead. Screams of pain left your mouth, but to you they were muffled. This mission has truly broken you. The door to your bedroom opened, there stood Azriel.
Rhys and Feyre right behind him. While they were trying to get you to calm down and stop the screams that fell off your lips. All the while you started to call for your mate.
“Eris please.” You had whispered in your mind.
“I’m on my way little fox.” He whispered back.
When Azriel got close enough that he could touch you, you flinched, backing away from him. “Don’t touch me.” You had angrily whispered. You could see the hurt on his face but you didn’t have the mental capacity to focus on that, your mind was still on all the children who had died on your hands, all the parents that had been slaughtered, all the elders that were killed. They were all on your hands.
“Y/N, tell me what happened.” Azriel said, hoping he could get something before Rhys or Feyre entered your mind.
“Now you care.” Those were the only words that came from your mouth before Rhys entered your mind. Your shields were down and he had been able to discover everything. You tried to push the High Lord out of your mind but it had been too much. So much so that when he left your mind you collapsed to the ground. You feel asleep the nightmares of what you witnessed following you.
Rhys had shown both Feyre and Azriel what had happened on the mission. He however refused to show Azriel that Eris had been your mate. He would respect your privacy on that. As for everything else, he should’ve seen the signs that you were pulling away, and after this mission he knew you’d leave and never return. They had all pushed you and now they had lost you.
Cassian appeared, Eris standing with him, a scared look on his face as he looked down at you unconscious. Azriel clenched his jaw, staring at the male.
“What’s he doing here?” Azriel went on to ask.
“I’m here to take my mate home.” Eris answered as he walked towards your body that was still covered in blood.
“You’re her mate?” The words left Azriel’s mouth before he could stop them.
Eris only ignored him, he picked your body up and held you in his arms. Then he turned back to Rhys, a glare on his face. The stone cold looked never leaving even as Rhys spoke to him.
“You can do the one thing that we all failed at. You can take care of Y/N and be there. Just promise that she comes to visit.” Rhys said, his voice broken as he said it.
“I will try my best. But you all betrayed her. You know she shouldn’t have gone on a mission in this state and yet you sent her anyway, now look where it’s gotten her.” Eris turned to look at Azriel. ���And you, I didn’t want to tell her that I was her mate because I thought she deserved better than me. I thought maybe Y/N would be good with you, she loved you. But you broke her heart and now you’ve lost her for good. I will make this very clear shadowsinger. You are only allowed in my Court if your High Lord or High Lady is present, if not you are banned from entering the Autumn court even if you try to talk to Y/N. If you step foot on my court without either Rhys or Feyre present you will be killed.”
Eris looked at Rhys and Feyre who gave him a nod of understanding. Before Azriel could argue Eris winnowed out heading back to the Autumn Court to clean you up. Azriel looked at his High Lord and Lady.
“You’re going to honor what that male said?” Azriel asked, staring at the two.
“It’s not like we have a choice in the matter. I told you that she loved you, we all did and you ignored her when she was hurting. We all did, and none of us will ever be able to make up for that. But you should’ve told her that you didn’t like her that way. Instead you dragged her on like she was a lost puppy.” Rhys paused, taking control of the power inside himself. “I sensed that Eris was her mate and that’s why she came to the coronation for Eris. I shouldn’t have sent her on that mission but she needed to be with Eris and this was the only way, the only way for her to be truly happy. Because if she had done something I would’ve never forgiven myself and Eris would’ve never forgiven us. We would lose an ally for any future war. So yes, Feyre and I will be honoring what he has asked. You will not step foot on Autumn land unless one or both of us is with you. If you go against our orders your fate will be left in Eris’ hands.”
“Fine.” Azriel stormed out leaving to figure out what had just happened.
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You woke up a few days later. When you came to you looked around the room until your eyes fell on your mate. He was sitting in a chair, asleep. You groaned slightly as you lifted yourself up from the bed. Eris opened his eyes and found you staring at him.
“Hello, little fox.” He whispered, a smirk gracing his lips.
“How long have I been out?” You asked quickly, smiling internally at the nickname. You still weren’t ready to accept it but it was starting to win you over, especially after he had rescued you.
“A week. I had a healer take a look at the injuries you got on that mission. They were healed.” He answered. You eyed him as he stood from the chair and walked over to the bed, he sat down on the edge and reached for one of your hands.
“I’m sorry.” You looked away from him as the words left your lips.
“No. What happened is not your fault. Don’t apologize, I will always come to rescue you no matter what.” For the first time in 5 years you finally understood what it was like to have someone in your corner.
“What, um, what happened after I passed out?”
“Rhysand wants you to still visit. I told him I’d try my best but I know right now that’s not the best for you. I banned Azriel from my court, our court when you’re ready to run it by my side. He’s only allowed to step foot in this land if Rhysand or Feyre is with him. I will not let him hurt you again, ever.”
Your lips trembled, how could someone you’ve barely known done so much for you. Eris had done just that, had done enough to make sure you're safe and secure in your new home. You wished he’d show this side more to the other high lords, either way you were so lucky to call him your mate. Even if you hadn’t accepted it yet.
“Thank you.” Eris nodded his head, eventually he rested his forehead against yours and the two of you closed your eyes and enjoyed each other’s company.
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It had been a year since you’d left the Night Court and joined the Autumn Court. You became a part of the Autumn Court a month after your arrival, it had been tough to get used to but you eventually found peace. You had picked up a part time job as a librarian to keep you busy when Eris was away for his High Lord responsibilities.
After some time you and Eris had alone time. You had cooked a meal for him and that had been your way of accepting the mating bond. Two weeks later you had a mating ceremony for the Court. You married Eris and became High Lady of the Autumn Court. Word had been spread to the other courts, and you had received plenty of congratulations.
Even ones from those you used to consider friends. For the entire year you had managed to heal yourself with the help of your mate, your husband. And you were ready to forgive all of them including Azriel. Especially now that you would be a mother. Currently you sat in the bathing waters with a hand on your bump, you were 8 months along.
You couldn’t be more excited to get closer to the due date, to be able to welcome your child into the world. Eris was afraid when you had first told him. He was afraid he’d be like his father and torment the babe rather than love it. But you had constantly reminded him that this child would come into the world loved by two parents. You had made it clear to Eris that he was nothing like his father and he had shown that by changing his persona and being there throughout the pregnancy so far.
“How are my girls?” Eris questioned from the bathroom door. You pulled your attention from your bump and looked at the male you were happy to call your husband and mate.
“We’re fine. Very happy.” You paused, sending him a smile and a large amount of happiness down the bond, he of course smiled at you. Then he walked towards you holding his hand to you. You took it and he helped you from the tub. “Must I remind you that we are going to have a son.” Your smile only brightened. You were certain you’d have a son first, where Eris was certain you’d have a daughter first.
“We shall know when our child comes into this world.”
“And it’ll be the happiest day to be able to hold him or her in our arms.” Eris rested his head on yours. The two of you take in each other's emotions. Finally you parted and helped you get changed into a dress that had been altered to fit your growing bump. You two stood in front of the mirror, Eris had his hands resting on your stomach, yours were on top of his.
“Are you ready for tonight?” He asked, concerning washing from his lips.
“I am. This is a great way to announce the pregnancy of our first heir. And it’ll be good for me to forgive them. It’s the last step in my recovery and I need to do this.” You explained to him.
“Okay. If at any point you get overwhelmed-”
“I know, tell you and we can leave.” You said cutting him off.
“Exactly.” He watched as you turned around in his arms and stared up at him.
“Azriel is no longer banned from our Court.” Your words caught him off guard but he knew to expect them.
“Are you positive?”
“Yes, if he wishes to visit without Feyre and Rhys then he should be able to. I don’t love him anymore and I’m no longer bothered by the way he treated me and the fact that he didn’t love me. Without him I wouldn’t have found you, I wouldn’t be growing our child. I wouldn’t have the family I was always supposed to have. It’s because of him that I get to love you and will continue to love until the Mother decides it’s my time to leave. Azriel is the reason behind all of this and it’s not fair to keep him from our Court.”
Eris smiled at your words. “Very well. My High Lady has a say in his punishment and if that’s what you are okay with then I will stand by your side as you tell them.” You gave a small shake of your head. “Now we have guests waiting for us, I don’t think we should keep them waiting.”
“No we shouldn’t.”
You interlaced your fingers with your husband’s and the two of you walked out of your chambers heading to the throne room where the other High Lords and High Ladies waited. You’d even known Tamlin would be there. He was still making amends for what he did in the past but a few months ago you’d learned that the Spring Lord had discovered his mate.
She had been helping Tamlin with his recovery and helping him to be a better male. Lucien had been able to build his friendship with the male again, and you were there to help. You were also there when Lucien found out that Helion was his father. Everyone was healing and you couldn’t be more proud of the things all of you had accomplished since Eris had taken over as the High Lord in Autumn.
With you by his side things were moving in the direction they needed. The doors opened for the two of you, instantly eyes fell onto you and Eris. Your grip on your mate's hand got tighter as the two of you walked past your guest heading towards your throne. He squeezed back, assuring you that everything was okay.
Keeping your head held high, you had a hand resting on your bump protectively as the other High Lords and Ladies and the guest they might’ve brought with them stared at your bump. After making it to the steps you and Eris turned looking at everyone.
“My wife and I wanted to thank you all for being here. Please enjoy the food, drinks, and have fun dancing.” Eris said, a smile on his face. Everyone was still getting used to this new side of Eris but they trusted you, and because they trusted you they could trust him.
Eris helped you sit down on the throne, then he took a seat on the armrest next to you. Rhysand and Feyre walked up with Azriel behind them but at a distance.
“Y/N. It’s so good to see you again.” Feyre stated with a smile on her lips. You smiled back.
“You’re glowing.” Rhysand added.
“Thank you. Eris and I are so excited to meet our little bundle in the coming weeks.” You said, briefly glancing at Azriel. He was staring at you.
“How have you been?” Feyre proceeded to ask.
“I’m doing better.” You looked to Eris, he gave you a nod and squeezed your shoulder softly. You reached for his hand and held it in your hands. Azriel took note of the wedding bands that were on your left hand. He noticed Eris had one too. “I actually wanted to discuss the banning of your Shadowsinger from our court.”
“We apologize if this has caused any discomfort for you.” Rhysand said, his violet eyes switching between you and Eris.
“No it hasn’t. Firstly I’m sorry that it’s taking me so long to speak with all of you. I was in pain and was trying to heal. Eris, he’s helped a lot in my healing journey. And so has our child. I’d like to have family dinners with you again, as long as Eris is welcome.”
Feyre and Rhysand glanced at each other, you know they were having a silent conversation with each other. Finally they looked back at you and Eris.
“We’d like that very much.” Feyre said with a soft smile on her face. You released a breath, Eris sent a wave of love down the bond. You knew he was proud of you and it was showing.
“Secondly, Azriel, could you please step forward so that I may speak with you.”
He gave a nod and moved in between Feyre and Rhysand until he was in front of them. His shadows were moving around his body, he seemed happier as you looked at him. Maybe some kind of change had come his way after you’d left. You knew he wasn’t with Elain because she was with Lucien right now.
A few months ago she had accepted the bond between them after she herself had found what made her happy. She learned to accept the bond and with it Lucien. You’d hoped that maybe Azriel had found his mate too.
“I know that you were never in love with me the way I was. I only wished you’d told me how you felt. That being said, thank you.”
“Thank you?” Azriel asked, hazel eyes narrowing in you as confusion filled his normally emotionless face. Feyre and Rhysand also stared at you with confused looks.
“If you had told me that you loved me I would’ve never found my mate. I wouldn’t be married to Eris, I wouldn’t be High Lady of Autumn, it’s still a shock even now. And I wouldn’t be carrying our child right now. Because of you I found everything I needed. I found my home, my purpose. I learned to heal myself even after everything I’ve gone through. I hope that you find a mate one day.”
Azriel took a moment to process your words. “I have, she’s wonderful.” He said. He turned slightly looking at Rhys. Then he looked back at you and Eris. “She’s here, would you like to meet her?”
You nodded enthusiastically, years ago you would’ve been sad and jealous that he hadn’t noticed you but now it was different. Now you were happy and you could see that he had to.
“Will you help me up, dear?” You asked, looking at Eris. He smiled at you.
“Of course, little fox.” You smiled at the nickname as he helped you from the seat.
The two of you walked down the steps. When you were close enough you pulled Feyre into a hug. She hugged you back tightly. Then you moved over to Rhysand and hugged him tightly. Seconds later Azriel came back with a female by his side. Cassian, Nesta, Amren and Mor were also with him.
“They wanted to see you too.” Azriel mentioned. Hugs went around quickly, then your eyes landed on the female Azriel had brought over. You took a closer look at her and noticed the bright blue eyes. “This is Gwyneth, my mate.” The smile that broached his face made you happy. Lucien and Elain joined at some point, he sent a nod towards you and Eris.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you from everyone.” She said, holding her hand out towards you.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” You told her your name as you shook her hand. “Eris is my mate, and this is our little bean.” You said holding onto your bump. Eris was behind you with a smile on his face.
“A happy reunion. Does this mean you’ll come visit now?” Mor asked eyes on you.
“Yes it does. And you are more than welcome to visit here as much as you like.” You paused looking at Azriel as sadness seemed to cross his face for a brief moment. “None of that.” You said.
“What?” Azriel asked you.
“Azriel, Shadowsinger, you are hereby welcomed back to the Autumn court whenever you please. You’re no longer banned from our home.”
“And you’re okay with this?” Azriel asked, looking at the High Lord.
“My High Lady’s word is power and if she grants it then we are to follow it.” Eris answered.
“Very well.”
Relief washed over you when Azriel accepted your request. “Let’s enjoy this party, shall we?” You said pulling your husband towards the dance floor. The others followed behind you. As you danced with your family you looked up at Eris.
“Are you happy?” He asked spinning you around and pulling you back to his chest.
“So happy.” You answered, resting your head on his chest.
“Good. You deserve it.”
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A few weeks later you and Eris welcomed your son into the world. Currently you held onto the sleeping babe as your friends started to arrive at your home to meet the newborn. You looked down at your son, truly content with the life you had right now. You could hear the laughter in your home and it had been so long since you felt a part of it.
Azriel made his way up to you first, Eris allowing you time to talk to him. You looked at the Shadowsinger when he came to a stop next to you. A smile graced your lips when he looked down at your son.
“Would you like to hold him, Az?” You asked, using a nickname you hadn’t used in a long time.
“I’d be honored, Y/N.” He smiled brightly. You leaned forward shifting the babe into Azriel’s arms. His scarred hands tightened, as he held onto the babe. His shadows moved towards the babe, almost as if they were protecting your son.
“I think you’d make a fine Uncle.” You said, lifting your gaze to Azriel. He was staring at you with shock in his hazel eyes. “I don’t want what happened in the past to define our future. Nova, he deserves to have a happy family. And I want you to be a part of that just as much as everyone else that’s here.”
“As long as I can teach him how to fight.” Azriel said excitedly.
“I wouldn’t expect anything less, but Nova has a few years before he’s ready for that.”
“Very well.” As the night moved on and everyone met Nova you realized that it had been so long since you felt this content, this happy. You had your new family and your old family.
“You deserve to be happy, don’t forget that my love.” Eris said in your mind as a wave of love flew down the bond.
“How can I forget when you're constantly reminding me?” You remarked with a smile.
“And I’ll continue to remind you until the Mother decides to take me away from you. But I promise that I’ll find you in every lifetime.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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sofie-toffy · 17 days
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Rely on me | Arlecchino x Reader
Where you are hired as the “mother” of the Hearth to take care of the children and to act as the partner of the ever exhausted Arlecchino.
(Heavily inspired by spy x family chapter 86)
TW: none! Just pure fluff. Reader is fem - referred as mother
It’s been a long week.
“So exhausting…” Arlecchino muttered in annoyance as she mentally reviewed all the tasks needed to be submitted to the fatui. She was so tired of it all: the endless requests from the Tsaritsa, the straining tasks with almost no time to complete them, infuriating peers with bigger egos than she ever thought possible.
And all the demands of her work had lead her to work on a weekend, only being able to walk back home to the orphanage at midnight.
“I have a strong feeling she’ll complain..arriving home at this hour.” Arlecchino’s thoughts swirled as her lips formed a bitter line. “I suppose reasoning to her is just another task I have to finish” She concluded, preparing herself for your grievances.
Her hand grasped the metal of the doorknob, twisting it ever so slightly, making sure to be quiet as to not disturb the children sleeping. Her face was serious, ready to see you huffing your complaint.
“Welcome home, Arle!”
You chirped, a soothing tone ringing in the air
“…what?” Arlecchino heard you the first time, but her head grew blank at the sight of you. Seeing you and hearing your voice caused an uneasy peace she wasn’t used to, always accustomed to her mind racing from work. For some reason she couldn’t think anymore, and she didn’t know why.
“I said welcome home” you repeated, your smile still as gentle as ever. “you must be tired from working all day” You slowly took a step toward her direction, but were surprised to find the sight before you.
Arlecchino fell to the floor!
“Arle! Are you okay??” You rushed toward her, concern dominating your face as you knelt to her level.
“I’m alright..” She tried to stand up but couldn’t as hard as she tried. She had no clue why. She wasn’t injured or anything, every bone in her body was working perfectly until she saw you. Her mind was able to think rapidly until she heard your voice. It was as if she was carrying the weight of the world before she opened the door..Perhaps you carried all that weight away.
All she could do was look up to find that worried look on your face. “How are the children?” Arlecchino asked, trying to distract from the fact that she plummeted to the floor.
“They’re all fast asleep. I took them out to play today and they got so exhausted they conked out as soon as they went to bed…” You replied, a small smile settling on your face as you remembered the children playing.
“Arle, if you’re that tired, i suggest you do the same!” You uttered, now sitting on the floor in front of the poor Knave.
And all the Harbinger could do was sigh, head slightly tilting forward to lean on your shoulder. She could notice the faint scent of fresh laundry with a hint of Vanilla.
“Are you okay? Do you have a fever? Should I check your temperature?” A slight tinge of anxiety wavered in your question. Arlecchino could tell heavily you were worried about her state.
“No…but i do have a request. Im sorry for placing this burden on you but..would you mind if i asked you to shoulder my share of the housework? Only for today and tomorrow.” She managed to ask, a pang of guilt as she waited for your reply.
“I wouldn’t mind at all, i’d be happy to!” Your eyes squinted as you smiled in reply.
“How strange.” The harbinger thought.
“Why are you happy about this? I thought people detest chores”
“Well, I do agree that chores aren’t the most enjoyable thing …but, i guess what I wanted was to be able to actually take care of you. I enjoy you being able to rely on me a little”
Arlecchino didn’t say anything in reply. How could she when such sweet words were spoken?
“Peruere, I..know that you can do pretty much anything by yourself. And when times are hard, you try to spare me from it. But I don’t think you need to be so perfect all the time. You continued, a slight thump in your heart from the mention of her name. It felt genuine, serene.
“…”
“You shouldn’t have to put up that front so often. So when you asked me for help just now, that made me sort of happy.
“…”
“I want you to be able to relax from time to time, you work so hard even on days off. So please, don’t hesitate to rely on me a little.” You finished, a small tint of embarrassment on your cheeks as you realized how much you confessed. But Arlecchino didn’t mind at all. And you realized she didn’t when she gazed up at you, an uncharacteristic curve of her smile showing.
“Thank you. In all honesty, I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”
Although her common replies are distinct and straightforward, often not having a convey of emotion. This was different. Her voice wavered as if all of her emotions were coming together. Every part of her felt so relieved, she felt like putty in your hands as you held her in your embrace.
She had never felt so much, until you.
163 notes · View notes
glo0b · 4 months
Text
Cuddles with a croc
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I do not own the art or characters
whom: Sebek x gn!reader
TW: nsfw? if you squint hard enough
word count: 791
request: He gets turned into a camen in alchemy class, we’re one of only 3 responsible-ish people on campus, so crewl has us watch him, but doesn’t tell us what’s going on cuz he’s in a hurry. Croc in a blanket burrito, lots of Steve Irwin behavior from us and lots of kisses on the snoot, crewl takes croc back, Sebek now  gets quiet and turns bright red when we’re around lol
Thank you lovely @anunholyabomination for requesting this! I hope you like it since it's my first time writing a fanfic lol. Remember to drink lots of water and get lots of sleep so you can stay beautiful you!
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It was any normal day in Alchemy class with Sebek. He was yelling at his poor partner for being an idiot and putting the wrong ingredient into the transformation potion till thick green smoke started to form. “HUMAN! WHY ARE YOU BAC-” Before poor Sebek could possibly continue destroying his classmates' ears the caldron explodes, covering the room in the thick green smoke. Slowly the smoke clears revealing a small caiman sitting where Sebek should have been standing.
Here you were peacefully sitting in Ramshackle relaxing on your very much needed day off when you heard a knock at the door. You gently move Grim off of your chest, careful not to wake the sleeping cat thing. You still had no idea what kind of species to identify Grim as. He could be a feline- aaaand now the knocking on the door is even louder and frantic. “Coming! Hold on!” You quickly responded as you rushed to open the door. You opened the door to reveal an equally tired looking Crewel holding a bundled up blanket that seemed to be emitting chirping like sounds…wait was that a caiman?! “Here pup, take care of him for me” Crewel simply shoved the bundled up caiman into your arms and leaves.
“But I don’t- sigh well I guess I’m gonna have to figure out how to take care of you myself.” You look down at the small caiman and coo at its cute little face. “Awww, you’re just a little guy~ Oh! I should totally give you a cute name to fit that little face!”. Poor Sebek, now he has to be cuddled by this human! Well maybe the cuddles won't be that bad. “Hmmm, y’know you remind me a lot of friends….plus you’re just as cute as him!” The caiman looks up at you as if he understood who you were talking about. “Your name should be like his, what about Seby?” Yuu looked into the caiman’s eyes and understood it didn’t seem to enjoy the name. “Don’t judge me! I’m bad at names…” You pout, trying to think of a name the small creature would enjoy. “What about Sebok then?” The caiman moves its head as if it was nodding. “Sebok it is!” You held Sebok close and kissed his little snoot. You had put Sebok on the couch and wrapped him up in more blankets so he would stay warm since you remembered how an Australian guy on tv had said caiman have to stay at least around 97 degrees and no more than 104 degrees. “I wonder how a caiman possibly got into NRC especially when it feels like the dead of winter out there.” You look down at Sebok and giggle when he starts to make the same chirping like sound from earlier. “I really should send a picture of your cute little face to Sebek, you’re just too adorable!” You lean down and start kissing Sebok’s little head while making exaggerated kissing sounds. Thankfully Grim was still asleep so he couldn’t see this disgustingly sweet action and get jealous. Sebok didn’t seem to mind the kisses that much, he actually seemed to enjoy them. 
A few hours passed of you showering Sebok in kisses and cuddles. “Oh my! It’s already past twelve!” You quickly pick up Sebok and the somehow still sleeping Grim and head upstairs to your room. You placed both Grim and Sebok on the bed before looking through your dresser to find some sleepwear. You start to undress and take off your undergarments so you could put on clean ones. Once you finish changing you turn around and find Sebok frozen in place. “Oh? Are you ok little one? Are you cold?” You sit down on the bed and put Sebok in your lap. “I’ll warm you up” You smile as Sebok nuzzles into your body and slowly starts to drift off. When the small caiman finally falls into a slumber you pull the covers over the two of you and slowly start to fall asleep yourself.
It has been a week since Crewel had taken Sebok from you. Even though you only took care of the caiman for a day you felt really attached to him. You also noticed how Sebek would blush when he was near you. The poor thing would always storm off while hiding his boner. Perhaps one of these days he would get rid of this burden by telling you how he feels….well of course after he’s had some fun with you in the janitor's closet or an empty classroom. If not Lilia will have to intervene so he can get the grandchildren he wants. Hm? Why did you get an invitation from Sebek to come have tea at Diasomnia?
154 notes · View notes
justmeinadaze · 11 months
Note
Smutty request here....massage therapist(s) Eddie and/or Steve 🥴
Got me feeling all the things
Happy Ending (Steddie X You)
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A/N: So this intimidated me a bit because I don't a whole lot about massages and that field. But I ran with what I know and put a spin on it. I hope you enjoy it!
Warnings: Masseuses Steddie and you and all that implies (I regret nothing), mentions of stress from the read and a broken heart, she is aware that they provide more than just massages, DP (I said what I said), they are gentle with her for the most part but their is slight allusions to Dom/Sub dynamics (spanking, some bratty behavior, and stern tones), I think that's it.
Word Count: 6244
“Trust me, Y/N, these two will change your life.”
“They’re masseuses. It’s a massage, Deb.”
“Yes and no.” You stare at your friend as you sarcastically blink in her direction making her laugh so hard she almost spits out her drink. “Yes, they massage your body but they also do…other things…to help you relax.”
“Nope. No thank you. I’m good.”
“Y/N! Wait, come on.” She reaches for you hand as you start to get up from the lunch table you two were eating at. “Listen… you remember how hard things were for me a few months ago? I was working 80-hour weeks trying to get that promotion, my mom was scolding me because I’m still not married, and then add in being broke as hell.” Your friend sighed as you placed your palm over her hand.  
“Someone suggested them and I thought ‘Hey, what do I have to lose?’ When I met them, they were so kind and gentle. I swear for a second, I forgot I was even worried about anything. And that was before the…ahem…happy ending.” You blush as you both giggle. Debbie suddenly leans in closer to you, lowering her voice. 
“They both do the massaging part but you can decide who makes your ending a happy one. Personally, I chose the tall, pretty one. Not that the other one wasn’t cute…he’s just not my type, you know?”
“You can only have one?”
Your friend gasps as she playfully hits your arm. “You whore!”
“What?! I’m just asking! More so out of curiosity.”, you shrug. “I guess not everyone is into that kind of…kink but…I mean if you’re hiring them knowing what they do…wouldn’t you want to take the opportunity?”
“Goddamn, I will never understand why Tony cheated on you.” Your eyes meet hers as she softly smiles. “You’re sweet, funny, fucking gorgeous, and apparently really open minded when it comes to ménage à trois.”
You return her smile with one of your own as you lean back in your chair. “Yeah, well, if you ever find that out will you let me know?”
****
You sigh as you enter your big, empty apartment. Tony, your ex-fiancé, was supposed to come by while you were out today with your friend to get the last of his things. Now half of your home was quite literally gone. 
As you hugged your arms around yourself you noticed a note on the kitchen counter. 
“Y/N,
I think I got everything but if I forgot something can you save it and let me know? 
This was incredibly hard for me. I love you so much, baby. Can’t we just—”
You crumple the letter without bothering to read the rest. Honestly, it doesn’t matter. You heard it all before you caught him with her that night and after you threw him out.
After grabbing a beer from the fridge, you held the card Debbie gave you for the masseuses, tracing your fingers over the number.
“Ugh! Fuck it.”, you exhale as you reach for the phone.
It rings a few times but right as you begin to rethink what you’re doing; music suddenly blares through the line. 
“Yeah! Hello?”
“Um, hi. I’m looking for the Munson-Harrington massage people…thing.”
The man on the other end chuckles as he lowers the heavy metal in the background. 
“I don’t think I’ve heard us called that before. Massage people thing… Yeah, you got one of them here. How can I help you, sweetheart?”
“I, um, my friend recommended I utilize your services.”
“Do you always talk this dirty or are we special?”
“I don’t know. Are you always this much of asshole or am I just that special.”, you growl.
The music on the other end abruptly stops and you hear movement on the other end. 
“You sound like your absolutely special. Are you a little nervous?”
You sigh as you lean against the kitchen the wall. “Yeah. I’ve never done anything like this before. Not even regular…massages. Deb, my friend, said you guys changed her life. My life kind of sucks right now.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to and you definitely don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. My friend and I just want to help you relax. Pretty sounding girl like you deserves a clear head.”
“Hm. I bet you say that to everyone who calls.”
“You’re right. I did tell the telemarketer before you that he sounded gorgeous.”
That made you genuinely laugh. “What’s your name?”
“Eddie. I’m the Munson in the name. What’s yours?”
“Y/N.” You slide down to the floor as you take another swig of the drink in your hand. “Is the Harrington part of your company there?”
“Yes ma’am, he is. Would you like to say hello?”
“If that’s ok. I don’t want to impose or anything.”
“HARRINGTON! There’s a pretty girl on the phone who would like to speak with you.”
You listen to Eddie pass the phone as he tells the other boy your name. 
“Y/N? Hey, I’m Steve. I heard you wanted to talk to me.”
“Are you an asshole like your friend?”
“I can be when I need to. Eddie! What did you do to this girl?”
“Nothing! She started it by calling and being adorable.”
“Oh my god.”, you giggle. “You guys are good.”
“And we haven’t even touched you yet.” Your breathing stuttered at his comment. He said it with so much confidence as if he already knew his hands (and services) would blow you away. “Are you still with me, honey?”
“Yeah, um, Eddie said that…we could go slow and if I didn’t want…the…”
“He’s right. We want you to be comfortable. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Y/N. If you just want a massage that’s fine. If you just want to talk that’s fine to.”
You exhale heavily into the phone before finally making up your mind. 
“Okay. I’m free on Friday.”
############
“Shit, shit, shit!” You continue to curse as you run down your apartment building hallway. “I am so sorry I’m late! Work kept me late and—”
You froze you saw them sitting outside your door, quickly rising when your eyes meet theirs. 
“Hey, no problem.” One of the boy’s grins as he extends his hand for you to shake. “I’m Steve. This is Eddie.”
“The asshole.”, he teases as his gigantic palm encapsulates your own. 
You couldn’t take your eyes off them; they weren’t what you were expecting at all. You assumed Steve was the “tall, pretty one” your friend had mentioned but to you they were both handsome. Eddie had that kind of metalhead look you’d seen walking the streets of your town with his leather jacket and long hair. His Metallica shirt rested perfectly above his belt that was holding up his blue jeans. 
Steve looked like the everyday 80’s guy you saw in most romance movies at the theater but his smile radiated a confidence that made you feel safe. His muscle-bound arms in his polo caused a little sigh to escape your lips as your eyes traced the rest of his figure. 
“Do we…have to do a chant or something?”
You glanced at Eddie completely confused until he gestured towards the front door. 
“Oh, fuck, right. I’m sorry. My head is just…” You clumsily turn your key in the lock and allow them entry into your home. 
“Wow. This place is really nice.”
“Uh, thank you. My fiancé, well ex-fiancé, and I wanted a bigger place closer to the city since we both worked over here. Do you…would you guys like something to drink?”
“No, thank you. We appreciate the offer.” Steve smiles in your direction making your knees a bit weak. “You can have something though if you want.”
“Thanks? I mean with it being my apartment and all.”
“Ah, there’s that sass I was waiting for.” Eddie flashes you a tooth filled grin.
After pouring yourself the strongest drink you could find, you watched them set up near your living room. Your eyes continued to rake over them as they exchanged small talk with each other, allowing you some space to get more comfortable with their presence.
The phone ringing startled you as you turned to give it your attention. Before you could pick it up it routed to the voicemail and Tony’s voice flowed through. 
“Y/N? Babe, are you there? Please, I just want to talk.” Your eyes fluttered shut as you listened to his excuses. You hated being alone and this gigantic apartment was just another reminder that he wasn’t by your side anymore. You missed Tony terribly but no one in the world had ever hurt you as badly as he had. “…I swear to God, she meant nothing to me. I’m just a fucking idiot.”
Feeling a sudden warmth, you opened your eyes to meet Eddie’s as he towered over you. You glanced at Steve whose own face reflected the same sympathy as his friend. 
“…I felt so fucking lonely, Y/N. You were always at work and I felt like you never had time for me. Baby, I know what it’s like to sit in that apartment all by yourself, hurting. Please just talk to me—”
“Hey. Just so you’re aware you are a fucking idiot. She’s not sitting here alone crying her eyes out over some asshole who broke her heart. Y/N has moved on and you should to. Stop calling.”
After hanging up the phone, the metalhead turned to face you again. “I hope that was ok.”
Before you could stop yourself, you wrapped your arms around his waist, clinging to him as you sighed into his chest. His arms gradually came down to hold you to him as his cheek rested on your head. 
“Thank you.”
“My pleasure. I’m not going to lie, Stevie, we may want to reconsider taking a payment in a hug because this is quite comfortable.”
They both laugh as you pull away and smile at them. 
“We’re ready whenever you are, honey.”, Steve grins as he points towards their makeshift table.
#########
Your eyes remain glued in front of you as you listen to Eddie move about the apartment. 
“Y/N.”, Steve whispers from behind you as his breath warms your ear. “Remember, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. We can just talk if you want or we can even leave. No hard feelings. We understand how uncomfortable this situation can be especially since you don’t know us but that makes it a little bit freeing to.”
“Can, um, can I ask you for a favor?” You softly smile when you turn to look at him and he nods. “Can you…take off my clothes? I-I-I don’t think I…”, you ask, stuttering through your nerves. 
“Yeah. Yeah, of course I can. Did you want to keep anything on?”
“Is that an option?”, you giggle. 
“Sweetheart, you hold all the power here.” Eddie slides up beside his friend, now jacketless with no shoes. 
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been with anyone let alone naked in front of someone. Tony wasn’t lying about that. I’ve always been busy with work and—”
Steve gently places his index finger over your lips. “Nothing that asshole says matters. I don’t care if you were on the moon, he had no right to cheat on you.” His finger glides down from your mouth to your blouse as he begins undoing the buttons while the other man shifts behind you and unclips your skirt. 
Both garments fall effortlessly to the floor as Steve continues watching your face for any signs of hesitation or discomfort. 
“We’re going to do this one at a time, ok? I’m going to take off your bra and then Eddie’s going to remove your panties.”
Once he gets your approval, he leans over your shoulder and begins unhooking your bra from your body. You don’t know if it’s because he’s being so sweet or if it’s because his strong cologne wafts into your nostrils but something inside of you causes you to turn and softly kiss his cheek. 
Steve pulls back slightly, looking through your eyes till a small smile flickers across his lips. He and his friend had been doing this for a while but not one of them had been as tender at you had just been. He knew there was something different about you when he spoke to you on the phone and he knew Eddie felt it to when the metalhead completely turned off his music to talk to you. 
He hoped he wasn’t misreading things and took a leap of faith as he leaned forward to kiss your forehead before tossing your bra near the rest of your clothes.
Strong hands on your waist turned you so you were now facing Eddie as he sunk down on his heels, dipping his fingers under the waistband of your underwear, and delicately tugged them down your legs. The pads of his digits traced along your skin causing a little shiver to run up your spine. 
“You’re so gorgeous, Y/N.”
“I’m sure you say that to everyone.”
His grin grows as he stands up and looks down at you. “I did have a date with that telemarketer I told you about. Turns out he WAS really good looking.”
Steve smiled behind you when you laughed, gently guiding you towards their table, and helping you up as you lay on your stomach. Folding your arms above you, you rest your head on them like a pillow. The metalhead digs in a bag before kneeling in front of you again till his face was level with your own. 
“Which do you like better?” He holds up bottles to your nose and you point to one that smells like vanilla. 
“What are those?”
“Oil. Steve’s the smell guy and knows how to utilize them better than I do.” He stands up and passes the bottle you chose to his friend. 
“Honey, we’re going to touch you now, alright? It might feel a little weird at first because of the oil but if at any point you get uncomfortable and want to stop or take a break just let us know.”
“Okay.” You close your eyes, unsure of what to prepare for but when a set of hands begins rubbing into you back, you can’t help but let out a soft, low moan. “Shit. I’m—”
“Princess, this is your house. Make all the noise you want to and please don’t be embarrassed.”
“You can also talk to us if you want to. Maybe about things you’re stressed about.”
A second set of hands find your calves and a strong exhale leave your lips. “Honestly, you heard my main bit of stress.”
“Fucker Magee?”, Eddie asks. 
“Yeah.”, you giggle. “Everyone in my life thinks I’m overreacting and I should forgive him.”
“Um, we may not know the whole story but the man you were going to marry cheated on you. I think you’re reacting properly.” Steve’s hands trailed along your spine and back down to your hips. 
“I went to visit him at work and they were fucking in his office. Some pretty, young, big breasted coworker.” 
“What a bitch.” You smiled as Eddie laughed at his own comment, his palms massaging along your thighs and back down to your feet. “For how long?”
“A few months. We…we were supposed to get married next month.”
Fingers came up to firmly knead into your shoulders. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” Steve watched your lips form into a thin line before you pressed your face into your arms. As soon as you felt your emotions were in check, you turned your head back to the side. 
“That feels good actually.”
“Did you think the massage business part was just for show?”, Steve laughed.
“I mean… I don’t know. I don’t want to be rude.”
“Said the girl who called me an asshole.”
“To be fair, you were being one.” It feels almost on purpose when Eddie’s fingers slide up between your thighs just barely near your core before sliding back down your legs.
“You’re not wrong, sweetheart.”
Steve’s own hands glide up your sides, grazing the sides of your breasts before looping back around to your shoulder blades.  
“I hope I’m not being too forward but you have a beautiful body.”
“No, you’re not being too…thank you. Um, you-you can go a little higher if you want.”
“Who are you talking to, honey? Me or Ed?”
“Eddie… You can go higher to. If you want to…”
The hands on your back lifted off you as Steve came around to kneel in front of you on his heels. “How about we take it slow, huh? One thing at a time.” His palm petted your head as he moved the hair back from your face. You let out a little gasp when you felt the metalhead’s fingers slide between your folds. “Are you okay?”
You nodded as you bit your bottom lip, lifting one of your legs up the table to allow him more accesses. This man felt like a master with his fingers as he rubbed circles slowly into your clit.
“Pl-please.”, you whine. 
“Please what, Y/N? What do you need?
“Can…can I turn around? On my back.”
“Of course, pretty girl. Whatever you want.”
They patient waited for you to roll over before Eddie placed his thumb back on your nub. You watched with heavy, lust driven eyes as he stuck two of his fingers into his mouth, coating them with his saliva, and sliding them into your sex. 
“Oh wow, princess. You’re tight.” He exhaled, trying to hide the little moan that wanted to be heard. 
Steve stood back up to his full height, coming around to stand behind your head as he reached down and ran his hands over your tits, massaging them gently but firmly. 
“F-fuck.”, you whimpered. As your back arched, you could help but notice the bulge in his pants. When you tried to touch it with your palm, he jumped back like you startled him. 
“Hey. Um, you…you don’t have to do that, honey. We’re here for you.”
“You don’t want me to feel you?”
Your voice sounded so small; Steve felt his cock twitch. “I…I do…I just…you don’t have to.”
Grabbing his shirt, you yanked his lips to yours. The combination of man and mint on his tongue had you clenching tighter around the other boy’s fingers making him groan, this time much louder than before. 
“I want to.” You slid further up the table, allowing your head to hang a bit over the edge, licking your lips as the man pulls down his shorts just enough for his dick to spring free. “Jesus. I’ve never had anyone as big as you are before.”
He smirks as he subtly chuckles. “You can’t say things like that or else I’m going to cum before you even touch me.”
Your tiny hand reaches for him as he steps closer, mewling when your tongue runs along his tip. You don’t see it but the men give each other a cursory glance. This is a little out of bounds for them in the sense of they rarely ever have the women they massage service them in this way and on the off chance a client does it’s usually during the second part when they are alone with one of them in the bedroom. 
Steve continues to be gentle with you as he runs his fingers through your hair when you wrap your lips around his hard, now throbbing length. Eddie thrusts his fingers into you at a faster pace and your moans vibrate through to the boy in your mouth. 
“Goddamn, Y/N. Your mouth feels so good. Your ex is a fucking idiot.”
They both take note of your reaction, your head bobbing faster as your pussy clenches again. 
“He really is, sweetheart. Makes me want to call him back and curse that fucker out.”
Tugging your head back, you continue to pump him with your fist as your hips began to grind up into the metalhead’s hand.
“Fuck, I’m…”
“That’s it, beautiful girl. Just let go. It’s okay.” Eddie pressed the heel of his palm against your clit as he moves his fingers move at a quicker pace. The sound of your slick fills the room and after a few moments your body trembles as you cum. “Good girl. Coming like that. Geez, I’m so fucking hard right now.”
Abruptly, you sit up and grab the back of the man’s neck as you bring his lips to yours. After your release, your kisses were much hungrier and you reveled in the taste him as your hands shot down to fumble with his jeans. 
“Wait…are you sure…you don’t want Steve.”, he asks between kisses. “You’ve kinda…got him…all riled up.”
“Want both.”
Eddie froze as he pulled his head back. When you tried to chase his lips, his palms gripped either side of your face forcing you to focus. 
“Hey, you don’t have to do that.”
“Want to.” You tried to lurch forward again but he was much stronger than you, holding you in place. 
“Y/N, princess, come down from cloud 9 and really think about what you’re asking for.”
You couldn’t control the annoyed exhale or tone as your eyes met his. “Am I not allowed? I can pay you more.”
“It’s not about the money. We—”, Steve began before you cut him off.
“Want me to be comfortable. I know! I know what I’m asking for. Now, do you want to fuck me or not!?”
Ringed fingers snaked into your hair and firmly pulled it back. Something changed in Eddie’s eyes; a look he saved for partners he had in his own bedroom. 
“Control the attitude, Y/N.”, he growled. “Listen to what he’s saying. It’s not about the money and it’s not about getting off. It’s not fun for anyone here if you wake up in the morning with regret. And while this little session here IS all about you, don’t forget we’re people to. We’ve been doing this for years and no one has ever asked to take us both one right after the other.”
“I’m not asking for that either. I want you both…at the same time.” They look at each other again, unsure of what to do or say. Your hand reaches out to turn his attention back to you as you lean your forehead on his. “Please, Eddie. I know what I’m asking for. I need it. I need you both. Please, please, please.” As you keep repeating your last word, you manage to fully unbutton his jeans, glide your hand through the waistband of his boxers, and rub your palm against his cock.
His jaw falls open as your lips trail down his neck.
“I mean…if she thinks she can handle it.” 
Eddie growled again with more vigor as he lifted you into his arms and carried you to your bedroom with Steve in tow. After tossing you onto the bed, he tore off his shirt, and you marveled at his tattoos, crawling on your knees till you were in front of him again. His hands laced in your hair as your tongue descended down his chest, stopping just above his waistline to allow him to shuffle out of his pants. 
The bed dipped behind you, suddenly feeling strong palms grip your hips and lift them a bit higher into the air. Steve’s own tongue licked a long stripe through your folds causing your body to shudder pleasantly at the feeling. Eddie held the base of his cock, allowing the tip to brush against your lips. 
You opened your mouth for him and he wasted no time pushing through, groaning when your warm saliva began coating him. The metalhead was much thicker than his friend and at times you struggled to take him, gagging around his dick as he occasionally hit the back of your throat. 
The strong vibrations of your moans as Steve latched his mouth to your clit had Eddie’s own eyes rolling back as he held on to your hair tighter trying to control himself from just face fucking you till he came.
You weren’t sure if it was on purpose or not but both men were still massaging you with their palms, Steve especially. His hands rubbed and caressed firmly up your lower back, around to your stomach, and down to your thighs as his tongue flicked against your bundle of nerves. While one of Eddie’s hands remained in your hair, the other ran between your shoulder blades and around to your front to knead your breasts adding to your high. 
Your mouth came off the boy in front of you with a pop as drool dangled from your lips. 
“Yes, Steve. Please, you’re going to make me cum.”
You practically screamed as he pressed his mouth further into your core, sucking and licking until you felt the coil snap as you came. Your upper half fell flat against the mattress as you panted, smiling softly as your body continued to twitch. 
Eddie’s fingers left your hair and moved to your shoulders as he lifted you back up to your knees so he could see your face. 
“This is the last time I’m going to ask, sweetheart. Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes, Eddie, I’m sure I want you both inside of me.”
His head tilts to the side at your answer, mostly because it was said correctly, or at least how he liked his questions answered. He wondered if there was a submissive side of you that enjoyed it a bit rougher like they did. Both men NEVER brought that into the bedroom with a client and most of the time none of the women they were with never asked. 
You weren’t asking either but he imagined, like they did, that was something personal for you so you saved it for the man you were dating or intimate with. 
Eddie shook the thoughts from his head as his hand laced around your neck and brought your lips to his again. 
“Seriously, your fiancé is so fucking stupid to let you go.”
You smiled up at him and wrapped your arms around his waist as you yanked him closer to you for a hug. He could get used to this. 
“Have you ever done this before?”, Steve asked.
“This exactly, no. Have I ever done anal before? A couple of times. You may need to go a bit slow at first especially since…um…I’ve never had a man, men, as big or thick like you guys.”
You giggle when the boy exhaled again, grabbing your waist, and falling on to the bed with you on top of him. “You have to stop saying things like that. You’re going to kill me!”  
“What, do you want me to lie? ‘Oh Daddy. Your cock is average size and will definitely not split me in half.’” Your giggle turned into a full-blown laugh until you notice he had a funny little look on his face. “I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong? I was just—”
Steve leans up, cutting you off with a passionate kiss. “You’re an interesting woman. Eddie’s right. I seriously don’t understand why anyone would cheat on you. If you were mine, I don’t think I’d ever leave your side.”
“Aw…that’s creepy.”, you playfully smiled.
On impulse, he smacked your ass. They never did that first. Sometime a client would ask for a light spank but he just delivered you one he’s only given to bratty girls in his bedroom. He didn’t mean to but something about you made him comfortable.
“Shit. I…I’m sorry.” 
You shook your head, dismissing his apology as you kissed him again. Eddie reached over your shoulder to hand his friend a condom and they both hastily tore into the wrapper before sliding it on. His eyes met yours as he leaned back against your mattress and his hands gripped your waist.
“Whenever you’re ready, honey.”
Nodding, you exhaled the nerves as you tipped forward, and slowly lowered your body to his. You both moaned when his tip breached your entrance and Steve craned his neck to watch himself disappear inside of you inch by inch. 
“Fuck, baby. That’s it. Take your time.”
You heard the metalhead’s heavy breathing behind you as he stroked his cock at the site before him. The sound caused you to clench and a broken mewl left you as you pushed yourself further onto him. 
“Oh my god. You’re so…I can’t…”
His palm glided up your sides to caress your cheek. “Yes, you can, Y/N. You’re doing so good taking me already. Do you want some help?”
When you nodded, he firmly took hold of the back your neck and lowered you till your face was hovering over his. His hips thrust up to meet yours and your mouth fell open. 
“That’s it, baby. Good girl. I’m going to do it again, ok?” When you nod again, he pumped into you a couple more times till you felt him bottom out. “Good girl. Such a good girl. Jesus, so fucking tight. You feel so good, pretty girl. It’s Eddie’s turn. Let him know when you’re ready.”
After a few moments and subtly thrusts from Steve, you turned towards his friend and gave him the okay.
Hands spread open your ass and you tightened around the other man again when you felt spit hit your asshole and Eddie’s fingers massaging it in. Your body tensed slightly when the tip of his cock rubbed between your cheeks.
“Sweetheart, if at any point you want to stop, I want you to say ‘Red’ for me, alright? Can you tell me what I just said?”
“If…if—fuck—if I want to stop…say ‘red’.”
“Atta girl.”, he praised as he quickly leaned forward to kiss your temple. 
Prepared, Steve’s palms held on to your face as Eddie began to push into your body. Your head started to droop but his grip was stronger than yours. “Y/N, look at me, honey.” When you did what he asked, his thumb extended out to run along your bottom lip. “You’re doing amazing. How do you feel?”
“F-full.” The metalhead licked the pads of his fingers, looping his arm under your body to slowly and softly massage circles into your clit. “Oh my god!”
You tried to collapse against Steve’s chest but he still wouldn’t allow it. 
“Holy shit. Y/N, stop moving.”, he scolded in a firm tone before he realized what headspace he was slipping into and reeling himself back into the present. “Baby, not yet. You…you say you’ve never had anyone as big as us. I-I don’t know about, Ed but I’VE never…had a woman as tight as you.” He flashed you a small smile. “I’m trying so fucking hard not to cum right now.”
Eddie’s hair bobbed behind you and the man knew he was nodding in agreement. 
“You can—mmm—you can talk to me…like you did. I-I-I don’t mind.”
His eyes scanned over your face as your eyes closed. “Hey, I said keep your eyes open, sweet girl.” You purposely ignored him, grinding your hips forward slightly for good defiant measure. Both men grunted at the action but it was Steve who held your face tighter. 
“Look at me, now.” This time you listened. “What did I say, Y/N? Don’t fucking move. You need to be patient, little girl. Do you understand me?”
“Y-yes, I understand.” At that moment, the metalhead’s hips finally connected against yours. “You…you both can…move. Please, I need you to move.”
The man underneath you released your face and circled his arms around you as he pressed you to his chest. When they both thrusted into you at the same time, the euphoria you felt was indescribable. It was like they knew exactly what you needed and where they needed to be. Each stroke was strong and precise, hitting every nerve inside of you, and setting your body ablaze. 
“Go-go ahead, princess. You wanted—goddamn—you wanted to move so bad. Take over.” Eddie’s hand came down hard on your behind and you hurriedly (and willingly) did as he commanded. Their grunts and groans drove you crazy, egging you on as you bounced and rolled your hips as fast as you could. The obscene sound of skin hitting skin echoed in your room mixed with your whimpers of pleasure. 
It was almost too overwhelming as the ball in your belly began to wind faster and faster. Steve’s grip moved to your hips as Eddie held on to your shoulders.
“Cum, baby. Let go and cum as hard as you fucking can.”, the man under you whispered into your ear. Your forehead fell into the mattress beside his head as they both pounded into you. Their rhythm changed as they slowed, punching the air from your lungs as white blurs your vision. You scream into the bed below you as they fuck you through it, Steve lifting his hand to run his fingers through your hair.
“That’s it. Good-good fucking girl. Taking us both so well.” Eddie tilted forward, placing sloppy, wet kisses against your back as he rolled his hips. He soon followed after you, grunting loudly as he spilled into the condom. Steve, unable to hold back any longer, came as well, smacking his hips against yours and using you to milk himself dry.
#########
Eddie’s eyes blink open as his watch beeps signaling midnight. His eyes take a quick scan of the area, realizing they were still in your apartment. He and Steve were tucked under your sheets but you weren’t between them. 
“Steven.” The metalhead reached over to shake his friend’s shoulder. “Steve, wake up.”
“Huh? Wha?”
“Oh my god, you idiot. Steve. WAKE. UP.” Between each word, he firmly punched his arm causing the other man to grumble in anger.
“What?! Why are you in my room?”
“Oh, you know. I thought I could just use a nice Harrington cuddle. WE AREN’T AT HOME!”, he hisses. 
Steve rubs his eyes before Eddie’s words sink in and he bolts up right. “Shit. We fell asleep.”
“You don’t say.”
“Shut the fuck up, Munson. Where is she?”
As he shrugs, they both jump out of bed. Steve finds his clothes on the floor but the other boy struggles to find his. 
“I know I took them off here.”
“You did.” They both jump at the sound of your voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I woke up before you and noticed your clothes had oil on them from when you picked me up so I washed them for you.”, you softly smiled as you handed Eddie his jeans and shirt.
“Um, thank you. You…you didn’t have to do that.”
“It’s no problem. I was hungry to I heated up some left-over pizza if you want some.”
Their eyes scanned over you as you leaned in the doorframe with a mug in your hand. You had changed into an oversized shirt with a metal band that Eddie definitely knew and some sleep shorts. Your hair was a little frayed but to both of them you looked like an angel. 
“I mean, you don’t have to. I don’t really know what the protocol is or how this works.”
“Well, to be fair, I’m not sure if you noticed but this whole thing was a bit off script for what we normally do.”, Steve grins as he nervously chuckles. He has no idea what they are supposed to do either.
You silently nodded before turning and heading back out to the kitchen as they follow behind. 
“How, uh, how are you feeling?”, Eddie asks. 
“Calm. Oddly relaxed. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve felt like this since before I got in engaged.” You hop up onto the counter before meeting their gaze. “Thank you.”
They smile as Steve heads for where their things were as Eddie grabs a slice of pizza. “I made some coffee to if you want some.”
“Did you put our table and all that way?”
“Oh, yeah. I cleaned it to. I’m not sure if you’re supposed to use a certain type of cleaner but I just used my 409. I folded it and placed it by the door with your bags. I, um, I wasn’t sure if when you woke up you’d…want to make a quick getaway.”
They exchanged a look as your head hung. 
“Why do you think we would want to do that?” When you shrug at Eddie’s question, he saunters casually over to you and lifts your chin with his fingers. “Let me rephrase. Is that what you want us to do?”
“Do you want us to leave?”, Steve reiterated. 
“Like I said, I don’t know…how this works…”
“That’s not what I asked, Y/N.”
“No…I don’t want you to leave.”
They both grin at your answer. “We don’t want to leave either.”
Eddie starts to giggle through his teeth as he jumps on the counter beside you. 
“What’s so funny, Munson?”, Steve asks as he comes to lean on the counter across from you both. 
The metalhead intertwines his fingers with yours and you lean your head on his shoulder. 
“Nothing. Just…this gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘happy ending’.”
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espinosaurusrexex · 1 year
Note
*intensely thinking of final answer*
*game show waiting music*
I think I'm going with miscommunication with Bucky.
*presses button to log it in*
*game show celebration music* congratulations! You have a Bingo!!! 💗 This was fun. I'm hoping it counts as Miscommunication because, technically, it's only one-sided. But I loved it so much I had to write it. Anyway - enjoy! 🥰
summary 'cause it's a little longer: You’re the new recruit with mind-controlling abilities and Bucky hates it. But after avoiding you for a while and being responsible for several dangerous situations because of it, Bucky is asked to resolve his issues with you. He’s not amused, but amazing things can happen when people are trapped in elevators and it makes Bucky realize that, maybe, you’re not as awful as he thought.
Miscommunication (Bingo Game)
!BINGO ASKS CLOSED!
BuckyBarnes x Enhanced!Female!Reader
word count: 3.3k
warnings: enemies to friends (for now?), grumpy!Bucky, angst, swearing, sassy reader, arguing, and me trying to be funny
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“Can you make people cry?”
“Sometimes.”
“What about making them dance real good.” Another man chimed in. You remembered him introducing himself as ‘The Falcon’.
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“Are you a good dancer?” You smirked. 
“Is that a challenge?” He raised his eyebrows. 
“What about farts, can you make people fart,” The ant guy asked with enthusiasm. 
“I... I haven’t tried that yet.”
“Well, it would be a great prank.”
“I guess?” It wasn’t the weirdest thing you’d been asked before - you’d never forget that day your niece brought you to school for your magic talent... kindergartners asked the most unexpected questions. But hearing them from an adult was still a little unusual. 
“So you can just make people do things?” The youngest of the group asked.
“Pretty much.”
“How?”
“It’s hard to explain.”
His eyes lit up. “Woah, so you could make Mr. Falcon go and get me a bowl of popcorn right now?”
“Careful, spider boy.” The man - Sam, you believed - warned. 
“I could, yes.”
“I’ve never had this much power!” Peter rubbed his hands with a bright smile - his name was easy to remember with all the questions he fired at you.
“You still don’t, kid. Keep it down a little will ya?” The goatee man tapped his shoulder with the twitch of his brow. 
“Oh, yes Mr. Stark. Sorry, Mr. Stark.”
“Tony,” he corrected.
“Right. Mr. Tony, sir.”
You’d been here for thirty minutes and everyone was all over you. You didn’t mind, really. On the contrary, you enjoyed that the people you would work with were actually interested. Well, all except for one. It didn’t go past you that one person had been watching you from the corner the whole time, not losing a word, simply staring ahead broodily with his arms crossed 
“Alright, everyone,” Tony clapped once, “last question. I still have to show the rookie the rest of the compound.”
“Oh me, me, me!!!” Peter raised his hand and almost picked Tony’s nose.
“Barnes, do you have anything? You’ve been awfully quiet.”
“I don’t need to know shit, Stark.” The brunette pushed himself off the wall, revealing a couple more inches to his height you had not noticed before. 
“Don’t be rude, Mr. Barnes,” Peter pouted; he seemed to be adoring you already. 
“I’m not rude. It’s just a stupid power that no one needs. It’s fucking dangerous and shouldn’t be part of the Avengers,” he exclaimed and proceeded to leave the room, making you feel a little sad and the rest of the team look baffled. 
“Well... okay.” Tony turned to you, rolling his eyes as Peter’s desperate noises reached his ears again. “What’s your question, Peter?”
“Miss, I don’t think your power is stupid. It’s super mega awesome and I seriously wish I could tell Flash about it, he would be so jealous!” You laughed. 
“The question, kid.”
“Oh, yes... can you make animals talk?”
-❁-
That had been about four weeks ago, and Bucky had been avoiding you ever since. He had heard what you could do the first day you got introduced, and thanks to Peter he had more than enough knowledge about how vastly your power reached. 
Mind control. That was the fucking last thing they needed on the team. How fucking ridiculous. Bucky didn’t want to have anything to do with it, or you for that matter. It was enough that Wanda had the ability to read minds, he didn’t need someone controlling them on top of it. 
So Bucky didn’t like you or your power or the danger that came with it, and he put a huge amount of effort into showing you his disdain. When you entered the room, he stood to leave. When you were assigned on a mission together, he tried to switch with someone else - earning him weeks worth of laundry duty for Sam and dishwashing chores for Nat - but that was worth it. And when he wasn’t able to, he communicated with you as little as possible, earning a couple of scoldings from Stark and Fury for not warning you of threats in time - but really, nothing bad ever happened, so Bucky didn’t know what the problem was.
And soon, much to Bucky’s relief, you started reciprocating the hostile behavior he displayed toward you on a daily basis.
Constant bickering, dangerous situations, and death stares were your new M.O. but Bucky knew it only meant for you to finally back off. Because you had tried to be nice to him in the beginning, and Bucky felt a little bad for making you sad, but it was nothing to how sorry he would be if he ever let you in. 
A gunshot sounded through the crackly speaker.
“Fuck!”
Followed by a round of grunts and hits of which a fair amount landed in Bucky’s ribs and face.
“Oh right, there’s a hostile headed your way. Sorry, must’ve slipped my mind. I’m a little ‘careless’ at times.”
Yep, that one had hurt. But he’d rather pack a punch than retract his comment about your being careless. Because that’s what you were - or rather your ability. Careless and dangerous.
Bucky watched as Steve crossed his arms after pausing the recording, his captain stare in full force as he watched his best friend lean back in his chair unimpressed.
“Buck, you know I don’t want to do this but it's also my job to make sure my team is conducting missions safely. So, what’s wrong? You don’t usually act this way - even with people you don’t like - so don’t even try.”
Bucky just huffed, crossing his arms as well. He didn’t feel the need to respond. This was ridiculous; everyone should see how dangerous you were.
“You got a chance to solve this the easy way here. Help me out a little, pal. If you don’t cooperate, I need to apply official protocol. So tell me, please, what’s the problem?” Steve’s eyebrows were raised in anticipation, but Bucky was too sulky to help. To hell with this ‘I’m your friend-‘crap - he should go ahead and apply official protocol, maybe they’d see that your ability alone probably violated six paragraphs of the Avengers’ Oath. 
He bit his tongue before losing another comment swirling in his head, looking out the window to distract himself from the unfortunate situation he found himself in. Bucky hated when Steve became all professional with him. It was stupid. 
“You’re putting yourself and the team in danger,” Steve tried again, “there must be a reason for your behaving like this. Let me fix it. Let me help-” 
“I don’t need fixing!” Bucky snapped, his eyes finding Steve’s in a heartbeat as he leaned forward in his chair. 
“Then what is it? Do you like her? Is that why you're being so...” The blonde’s hand flailed in the air as he tried to find the words to describe Bucky’s behavior. 
“Fuck no.” He leaned back again. 
“Language,” Steve warned, only to earn a side eye from his friend. 
Bucky knew exactly why he avoided you. And so should Steve. He was his best friend for fuck’s sake. This was the most unnecessary conversation he’s ever had. If anything, Steve should have his back and not try to ‘fix him’.
“You should talk to her.”
“Funny.”
“I’m being serious. What’s the issue?”
“You know damn well what the issue is, Steve!” Bucky rose from his chair but Steve didn't flinch. He merely scolded him for his cursing again. 
But after a minute of blank staring at each other, Steve broke the silence again. “You’re scared.”
And Bucky exhaled a long breath before training his eyes on the ceiling. “Of course I’m scared, Steve! There is nothing worse than not being in control.” He looked at him. “Im gonna hurt people. I have before. And being close to her... It just makes the possibility of the winter soldier returning a lot more likely.”
“She wouldn’t do that.”
“You don’t know that. She’s had no training; it could happen accidentally.
Steve was quiet for a while, just looking at his friend, assessing his comment. Bucky could see the wheels turning behind his eyes and after a while, he just stared out the window again until the blonde would present another righteous monologue to him. 
“You should tell her,” Steve finally said and Bucky wondered why it had taken him so long to come up with a sentence he’d already said. 
“I don’t need to tell her shit. Just keep her away from me.” He rolled his eyes, but he was desperate at this point. Bucky just wanted to go - leave and stop being bothered by everyone. 
Steve just shook his head in defeat - Bucky had done it again. Successfully shaken the unavoidable for today. He smiled to himself as he turned to leave the conference room. But before he could reach the last chair on his way, Steve held him back one last time.
“She’s a very nice person, you know? And your attitude towards her is affecting everyone on the team. Maybe, if you could look past your issues with her... You’d see how nicely she fits in with us.” Steve cocked his head to the side with a small smile. “I’m sure you’d get along if you just took the time to get to know her...”
But Bucky only replied with a bitter ‘shut up, punk’ before averting his eyes again. He didn’t like this at all. 
Steve sighed. “Just promise me you’ll do something.”
Bucky shot him one last look before turning and leaving without another response. 
-❁-
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Bucky looked at you through hooded eyelids upon your entering the elevator. 
You just ignored him. You had tried to be nice long enough, tried to make him your friend one too many times, each one teaching you just how vain the attempt had been. Because if you had learned one thing about Bucky Barnes over the past month, it was that he hated your guts and that he was not willing to try and be civil with you. So, you saw no reason to be nice anymore. 
“Don’t act like it's my pleasure either.” You turned and faced the door after pushing the buttons to your floor. 
Bucky just huffed behind you and you held your head a little higher, trying to let the seconds pass until you could leave again. It’s only an elevator ride - how hard could it be? But time seemed to pass slower than usual, and the unsteady rattling of the glass chamber going up the tower made the whole ordeal that much more unpleasant. 
That was until it suddenly stopped, a screeching sound echoing through the small space until the elevator halted abruptly, making you lose your balance for a brief moment. 
“What the-“ you muttered and pressed the floor button another time. Then again. And again. But nothing happened.  
You tried the emergency call button, but again, nothing. You were stuck. Several hundred feet in the air with Bucky Barnes. Great.
You took a deep breath, there were worse things, you tried to calm yourself, but upon stealing a glance over your shoulder, only to see Bucky glaring at you, that attempt disintegrated. Still, you chose to ignore him. You’d get out of here eventually. Someone would notice you were missing and look for you, check the security cameras, maybe - do something and finally break open these damn elevator doors. 
But then Bucky began to shuffle behind you, his steps clicking on the tiled floor of the lift, and uneven pace interrupted by the confines of the small room and it agitated you. It was enough you were stuck in an elevator when you had work to do. Now you couldn’t even concentrate. 
“Would you stop pacing?” You finally snapped and turned around only to see Bucky staring at you with wide eyes.
But he caught himself quickly. “What’s it matter to you?”
“It’s annoying. And as much as I hate to be stuck in here with you, we need to find a way not to kill each other until someone comes to help.” You turned back around taking another deep breath and enjoying the silence.
It didn’t last long though because the shuffling picked back up again soon. You waited another minute, but when Bucky made even more noise, a thudding sound coming from behind, you whipped around again to yell at him. 
But you stopped in your tracks as you saw him kneeling on the floor, his head tugged beneath his arms as his shoulder heaved rapidly. 
“Wha-“You moved forward to help but-
“Stay away from me!” He spat with fire in his eyes and then his head was back between his knees. 
You took a step back and assessed the situation. The posture, the heavy breathing, the slight shudder in his hands, the constant rocking. He was scared. He was having a panic attack. 
And as much as you wanted to avoid him, you were not cruel. When someone needed help, you helped. “Bucky-“ 
“I said stay the fuck away!” He crawled back into the corner.
You held your hands up in surrender, carefully trying to speak again. “I just want to help-“
“Well, I don’t need your help. Just back off!” The elevator shook with the boom of his voice, making your breath hitch. 
That was it, the last straw. All the pent-up anger of the past weeks bubbled to the surface, desperation and cluelessness balling up in frustration. You could barely feel it crawl up your body before you opened your mouth and screamed back. “What's your problem Bucky? I want you to feel better! What did I do that makes you hate me so much?!”
Your chest heaved in anger, your hands balling into fists as you watched Bucky get up slowly - eyes darker than you’d ever seen before. His arm whirred but he didn’t move it. He merely stepped a little closer to you, towering over you when his husky voice mumbled into the space between you. 
“I don’t hate you.” You swallowed and stared up at him, he was intimidating. “I’m fucking scared to lose control and-“ his vibranium arm shot up towards you but you stopped it in its tracks. Bucky’s fist was hanging in the air above you, your power holding him off and it took a fair amount of strength to do so. His eyes shot from his fist back to you, jaw tensing. 
“I would never do that.”
“You’re telling me I’m irrational?” He hinted towards his arm still held back by your control and you immediately let it fall back to his side. “...that it couldn’t happen by accident?”
“You underestimate me, Bucky.” You pressed with spite, willing him back a step to leave you space to breathe again. 
“I don't know you.”
“And who’s fault is that?” That shut him up. 
Bucky flexed his vibranium fingers, testing his own control again before his eyes found you again. 
“Let me show you.” You tried softly. Maybe this was the gateway to a start-over. At least now you knew the issue, now there was only solving it left. 
Bucky looked at you questioningly.
“Let me show you why you don’t need to be scared.” You smiled and somehow it softened the tension around you. 
Bucky’s shoulders relaxed when he stood up straighter. “And why would I want that?” He was stubborn.
“I’m offering an olive branch here. And after all that you have pulled, I suggest taking it. Because I cannot guarantee I’ll feel this nice again if you don’t.”
Bucky watched you carefully for a moment. As if he was trying to detect a joke in your statement, he analyzed every inch of your body suspiciously. And then after another minute, he sighed in defeat. 
“Then we need to get out of here.”
-❁-
Bucky was still a little wary now that you had dragged him outside. The sun was shining in the bright blue sky but having you stand so close to him was still making him nervous. He had no idea what he had just signed up for. 
There were a few people outside as well, all going about their days and when he turned his head to you, he noticed you watching them intently. 
“I can feel their energy,” you stated, making Bucky check if anyone was behaving as though he was influenced by you in any way - they weren’t. 
“And, yes, I can make living beings succumb to my will, but when I do, I feel their pain, their mental wars...” You looked at him and Bucky could feel your eyes pushing through to his deepest fears. “I wouldn’t make them do anything I wouldn’t want to endure myself... unless, of course... it’s necessary.”
Bucky thought back to a mission a while back. You had been utilized to make a hostile talk using rather unorthodox strategies. This time you actually had to hold them in place - position their limbs in places they shouldn’t be. He closed his eyes when he remembered your death cries. They had been hunting him for days. But other than you, the hostile had been killed. 
“You’re mentally linking with them,” he whispered almost ashamed for not noticing it earlier. Everyone on the team probably knew it already - he had just never taken the time to listen. 
“Yes.” He swallowed thickly, watching as you turned to him fully and he mirrored your action.
“If I were to make you- if I..,” you trailed off, took a deep breath, and shook your head. “I wouldn’t do that.”
And that’s when Bucky finally understood. All this time he had avoided you, fought with you, and despised you for thinking you’d be cruel for fun. He felt awful.
Your name slipped from his lips for the first time, calling your attention to his sorrowful eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
You nodded. “It’s okay. I understand it’s scary. I was scared of it, too, when I first found out... But I had a lot of time to learn. And now... I actually know how to utilize my power - control it. It even has some perks.”
Bucky’s eyebrows raised intrigued. A silent question to which you only responded by carefully reaching your hand out so his flesh one. 
“Can I?” You asked before actually taking it and Bucky just nodded while watching you carefully.  
He felt a lot calmer than he had before. And when you finally touched his calloused fingers, there was no urge to pull away like there had always been. You smiled at him and then nodded up to the sky, urging him to follow your stare.
“Look,” you whispered, and then Bucky felt his spine tingle. All of a sudden, it felt like his feet were lifted off the ground - smooth and subtle - almost comforting, he was engulfed by the feeling of floating - no - flying. 
His eyes followed the birds in the sky, which were now rounding effortless constellations several feet above his head and Bucky just knew that they were feeling the same - exactly the same. It was amazing, and even though it was a little strange and scary, your hand holding his made him feel unusually safe.
After a while, Bucky felt the feeling subside, the birds in the sky stopped flying above him and continues their journey east again. Your hand left his but he still felt lighter than he had ever before. 
His smile found you. “That’s actually pretty amazing,” he beamed before looking at the birds passing him and then back to you again. 
“Yeah... it is.” You smiled as well and Bucky felt all his doubts about you float away with the feeling this extraordinary experience had brought him.
Maybe mind control wasn’t as ridiculous and careless as he had thought it to be...
if you liked this fic, please tell me - it means so much 💓
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607 notes · View notes
heehoonieluvs · 10 months
Text
I forgot
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Heeseung x reader
Angst, fluff, smut
The way that the members are depicted in this story has nothing to do with how they really are or how I feel they are. It is all solely for the storyline so please bear that in mind 🫶
Summary: Y/N had been waiting her entire career for this moment but her loving bf Heeseung is no where to be seen
F/N = female name
Warnings: MDNI, cursing, oral (f receiving), ass play (f receiving), squirting, daddy kink, use of pet names (please do let me know if I need to add more warnings 🤍)
Masterlist
Y/N POV:
Tonight was the most important day for my career and it was only an hour till I had to arrive at the venue. All of these years that I had spent chasing my dream was finally going pay off. I was so excited yet nervous to show my friends and family what I had worked so hard for but I was especially excited to spend tonight with my amazing boyfriend Heeseung who had been nothing but supportive of my journey throughout our relationship. He had only just come back from tour a few days ago but he had been in and out due to his busy schedules as he had also just released his first ever collab with F/N.
I checked my watch once again. Why isn't he here yet? He hasn't texted or called at all today. Is he okay? I texted him again but got no response. I felt so upset and hurt that he hadn't even bothered to tell me what was happening even though he knew how much I was looking forward to tonight. Maybe he forgot? No he couldn’t have…
Just then, I got a text from my manager saying that my ride was waiting outside for me. I sighed and left, hoping that he was just late and would turn up to the event later.
Time skip
I looked around the venue, searching to see if Heeseung turned up. My manager said that there was no sign of him and he had not been responding to any of her messages. At this point I started to get pissed off. All these years that we had been together, I was there for him for everything. If he needed me there, I was there. No matter how big or how small the event, I was there. The one day I needed him there for me, he didn’t bother to turn up. I fought back the stinging tears that had threatened to fall and put on a smile as the awards started.
When the host announced my name, I felt an overwhelming amount of happiness inside of me. I gave my speech, thanking people that had helped me through everything. Just then the thought of Heeseung came up, reminding me that he had never turned up to witness this moment. I wrapped up my speech and quickly returned to my seat where I could see my manager and colleagues coming up to me. They all congratulated me and returned to their designated places, leaving me with my manager. I could tell that she knew what I was thinking and gave me a sympathetic smile.
"I know you're hurt that Heeseung isn't here, but just remember how strong you are and now you can show everyone that doubted you just how amazing you are."
"Thank you so much. I guess I just feel more disappointed at the fact that he never bothered to tell me what was going on."
"I know sweetie but he may have his reasons. Just live in the moment now and don’t let this tamper your special night"
I smiled at her feeling slightly better as a brushed aside the horrible feeling in my guts.
Time skip
I slammed the door shut and threw off my heels and jacket. Still no sign of Heeseung and it was way past the time that he usually came back. I shuffled my way towards the kitchen and went on my phone.
I scrolled through my social media accounts to kill time till he came back. Just then, I saw a news article from a few minutes ago saying LEE HEESEUNG AND F/N SPOTTED KISSING AT A PARTY. I opened the link, dreading whatever was about to pop up. The photos that came up gave me a shock as I looked at them. There were photos of them holding hands, cuddling, enjoying their time with their team. The last ones shocked me the most of them looking like they were kissing behind a tall plant and another with them on a balcony, supporting a shirtless Heeseung. Tears welled up in my eyes as I read through the blog. All this time I had spent worrying about him ended up being because he was spending time snuggling up with F/N. After F/N and her boyfriend had broken up days before, I had noticed that Heeseung had been going out more. I had never doubted Heeseung and I's relationship but this just made me feel betrayed, especially since he had missed today for it. I didn't want to believe that he had been cheating as I knew that he and F/N weren't the type of people to do such thing, so I shut off my phone and put on a film to gather my thoughts and think of how I’d confront him.
As soon as my eyes started to droop, I heard the familiar jingle of keys coming from the front door. Knowing who was on the other side, I ignored it and carried on watching the tv. When he walked in and spotted me, his entire face lifted, almost making me forget about how upset I was with him. He came over to me with open arms completely oblivious to the current situation.
"Baby! I missed you so much" he said as he came towards me, leaning in for a kiss.
When I saw it coming I moved away from him, leaving him confused as to why I was acting so cold towards him.
"What's the matter baby? Did I do something wrong?". He asked so many questions but I rolled my eyes and turned towards the screen.
"Babe, why are you dressed like that? Are you going out?"
If looks could kill, he was sure that he’d be 6 feet under right now. It took a second for the realisation to kick in before his face filled with guilt.
"Oh my god baby I'm so sorry. I-I completely forgot" he stuttered "I know nothing that I'll do or say can make up for this but I really did not realise. Please let me make it up to you?"
"Are you serious right now Heeseung? I cannot believe you" I shouted.
A flash of hurt came on his face as I said his name. I never called him that unless something was really wrong. He knew that this wasn't gonna be as easy as it usually is. He couldn't think of anything to say as all he wanted was to make his baby feel happy again. To see her beautiful face light up with her precious smile.
"You knew how much this day meant for me. I have always found a way to turn up to your events no matter what to support you yet the one time I wanted you here for me, you didn't even bother. I feel like I'm never important to you and I'm not even in the top 10 of your priorities. I don’t want to sound selfish but not once have I ever asked for anything in return yet you completely forget about my existence." I said with so much hurt in my voice. It made Heeseung’s heart hurt even more hearing it.
"Baby, please. Of course you're important to me. You're the most important thing in my entire life, don't ever say that you are any less. I know that I forgot about today and I'm an absolute idiot for not remembering but don't think that I don't care about you because that is not true at all."
I scoffed "Really? Because it doesn't seem that way since you've spent the day snuggling with F/N"
A look of confusion came upon his face once again "What do you mean?"
"Are you serious? I'm not stupid. I saw those pictures of you two together so don't start acting like you're so oblivious to this whole situation."
"Baby it wasn't what it looked like." He said panicking. He knew that there were photos taken but he didn't want people to take it the wrong way. He loved you more than anything and the photos taken manipulated what people saw to made it look a lot worse than it really was.
"That's what they all say Heeseung" I whispered, lowering my gaze towards my fidgeting fingers.
He sighed “Baby I know how those photos may have looked but I promise you, we only hugged once and it was after F/N’s manager made a toast to congratulate us on our collab.”
In a way I could understand that the whole purpose of the news article was to stir drama but it still didn’t explain everything.
“Okay. So how come this gathering just happened to be on the very night that you knew would happen for months? How come you were shirtless around F/N looking all cozy and shit.” All of the thoughts that had clouded my brain just spilled out my mouth like word vomit.
Heeseung had all the answers to your questions and was willing to explain everything to you. He already knew he was walking on eggshells and needed you to understand that he could never betray you in any way.
“I know I know princess, I should’ve remembered to keep this day free but it was a surprise set up by both F/N and my managers and they took me straight from dance practice. As for me being shirtless, I had just been pushed into the pool and was waiting for my shirt to dry. I know this all sounds like I’m just trying to make excuses but I promise bubba, everything that was shown in that news article was taken completely out of context.”
“And what about the two of you apparently kissing then?”
“Y/N I swear on Ddongsik that pic is absolutely bullshit. We were just having a conversation but it was taken from a weird angle.”
“Excuse me. Don’t bring my baby into this, he has no part in our drama.”
Heeseung chuckled “Ok I’m sorry princess but that’s the only way I can prove to you that everything I’m telling you is the truth.”
“I don’t know Heeseung. It’s just really hard for my to believe after you’ve been out so often and barely sparing me a glance whenever we have a bit of time together”
I could feel his soft fingers lift my chin up to look at him as he pressed his lips on mine. His love radiating, slightly melting the cold facade that I was putting up.
"No baby, you don't understand. Nothing happened between F/N and I, you can ask Jake. I just wanted to make sure that she was okay as she had been going through a rough time with the break up and all. I didn’t mean for it to seem like I was abandoning you but we’ve all been on alert since F/N didn’t seem like she had taken her break up well"
"I guess that makes sense and I trust you two. But with all of this and the recent comeback, I just can't help but feel insecure when everywhere I go, it's plastered with you guys."
"I'm so sorry baby. I know that's it's been hard for you but trust me when I say that I only want you. You're the one who I want to marry, have kids with and spend the rest of my life with. I can't see that with anyone else. I've been such a horrible boyfriend and I don't deserve an angel like you."
Seeing how distraught he was, I couldn’t help but reach out and embrace him
"Baby don't say that, you're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for."
"No, I missed the most important day of my princess’s career and made her upset. I cannot blame you for being mad at me. If I saw pictures of you with another guy, I’d be so pissed and I never wanna see my baby looking at another man with those gorgeous eyes. I cannot express in words how apologetic I am but I'm so sorry and I'll say it over and over again if it means that you'll forgive me"
"Baby you don't need to. I forgive you okay." I replied, leaning in to give him a soft kiss. As I moved back, he whined chasing my lips.
"One more please?" He begged
I giggled, making him smile so bright and leaned in for another kiss. Unlike before, Heeseung was more handsy, caressing every fibre of my body that he could reach. He slipped his tongue out to trace my bottom lip, silently asking permission for me to open my mouth. However, I decided to tease him and keep my mouth shut which caused him to whine and pull me closer. He then grabbed me by my waist and pulled me till I straddled his lap. He then reached down and grabbed a handful of my ass, causing me to gasp and give him enough time to sneak his tongue into my mouth. Our tongues caressed each others making us moan. He sucked on my tongue and groaned as I grinded onto his dick.
"Fuck baby." He moaned "You're making me so fucking hard right now. No one can ever make me feel like this. Only you princess."
He moved his mouth to my neck and sucked on my sweet spot, making me moan his name.
"God baby, say my name like that again" He said as he rubbed my clit through the lace of my thong.
I moaned his name over and over again as his started to rub even harder and faster.
"That's right baby. That's my good babygirl"
He lifted my dress over my head, leaving me in my black lace thong. Grabbing my boobs he leaned in and sucked on my nipples as he pulled my thong aside and rubbed my clit, rolling it between his fingers.
"Oh my god baby that feels so good" I moaned into his ear.
Then I could feel his finger entering my pussy and he started to pump it in and out.
"That's right babygirl. You're dripping all over daddy's fingers aren't you? You're such a good girl."
He carried on fingering me as he whispered sweet nothings into my ear. His palm rubbed on my clit every time he pumped his fingers.
"Climb up baby, I want your juicy pussy to drip on my mouth. Let daddy have a taste" he said whilst licking his lips.
I climbed up and hovered over his face, letting him marvel at the sight of my juices dripping out from my pussy.
"That's it princess, give that juicy pussy to daddy. I wanna drink up every bit of you" he growled as he reached up for your ass to pull you down.
Being the tease that I was, I shimmied down slowly, taunting him, causing him to whine and try to stretch his neck to reach it.
"Come on princess, let daddy make you feel good"
As I lowered my pussy onto his mouth, he quickly grabbed my thighs, forcing me to grind my pussy onto his face. The vibrations of his moans went to my pussy causing me to grind down harder onto his tongue and let it fuck me deeper. He ate my pussy like a starved man shaking his head to get deeper. The pleasure was too much and I tried to get up a bit to let him breathe but he growled like a wild animal and pulled me back down to his greedy mouth.
“Don’t even think about moving away from me beautiful.”
He then started to move to my clit to suck and lick over it and move back to bury his tongue in my pussy. He repeated the process until I felt myself getting closer.
"Oh daddy I'm gonna cum. Please let me come."
"Yes that's it baby. Come in daddy's mouth" he growled. He brought his fingers up and started fingering me. He curled his fingers and started hitting my g spot. I moaned so loud, addicted to the pleasure that he was giving me. "Come on princess, you know what daddy wants you to do. Squirt your delicious juices everywhere. Soak daddy's face, I wanna drink you up."
He carried on fingering my g spot as his sucked hard on my clit. Then I felt an overwhelming feeling of pleasure as I squirted all over his face. He moaned as he sucked on my pussy, lapping up my juices. I carried on grinding on his face to ride out my orgasm as he greedily carried on eating me out.
"More baby. I wanna take all of it. Give it to me."
I whined as I felt my pussy getting sensitive. "But daddy, let me make you feel good. I wanna suck your dick."
"No baby" he responded "tonight is about you. I want you to come all over my face till you can't take it anymore and you're begging for me to stop."
"Please daddy? Just a little taste?" I asked in my cutest voice with the most adorable pout that I could muster.
But as much as Heeseung wanted to fuck your cute little mouth, he wanted to taste you all night and not stop. He was so addicted to you and needed to have your taste on his mouth.
"Daddy said no princess. Another time. Now let me eat your pussy again". And with that he pulled me down so my shoulders were on his lap and my legs were over his shoulders.
His face hovered over my pussy and he looked greedily like a predator waiting to pounce on its prey. He observed the way my pussy glistened and how it clenched tightly from the intensity of the previous orgasm. He also observed how my asshole looked so inviting, tempting him to have a taste. He they dived in with his tongue and once again started tongue fucking my pussy. The new position caused so much more pleasure, making my eyes roll back. As he shook his head and sucked my clit, he looked at me with so much love and lust. We held our gaze as he stopped and moved back. I was about to complain but stopped and gasped when he stuck his tongue out and dipped it into my asshole. As he fucked his tongue in my puckered hole deeper, I could feel it wriggle inside me, making me moan even louder. I could feel him smile as he ate my ass out. If that wasn't enough he started to nod his head as he licked all the way from my ass to my clit over and over again. He did that for a while and went back to tongue fucking my ass. He could see my pussy clenching as I tried to hold back my orgasm but he wasn't having it. So he brought his hand up and started to rub my clit fast as his other kept me balance and close to his talented mouth. I carried on screaming, not caring if others could hear. Heeseung was so turned on and was desperate to taste you again.
"Come on baby. That's it. Squirt for daddy again. Yes. Yes. YES!" He screamed as you showered his face. At once he drank up your juice, not letting any go to waste. He held you close as he buried his face, not wanting you to get away from him. "God princess, you're so fucking sexy, squirting on daddy's face. Are you okay?"
My heart melted at his concern wondering how he could be so perfect "Yes daddy"
He let me down so I could sit on his lap as he held me like a baby, his baby. As he stroked my back, he littered my face with tiny pecks, causing me to giggle. I buried my face into his neck whilst he hummed into my ear.
"I really am sorry baby. If I have to I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you" he whispered in my ear.
I looked up to him and kissed his pouting lips "No need to baby, it's over and done with now. I love you"
"I love you too baby"
"So can I suck your dick now daddy" I asked in a cute voice, looking at him like a puppy.
He grinned back at me "You're gonna be the death of me you cheeky little monster"
Let's just say that I got a lot more than I bargained for that night... or maybe week 😏😉
Author’s note: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my ff, I hope you enjoyed it. I know this is quite all over the place in terms of who’s speaking but I’m aware that my writing isn’t the greatest 😅 please look forward to more works in the future and don’t be afraid to give me some “inspiration” for future smut and for which members 🤭
343 notes · View notes
writethrough · 1 year
Note
if you are taking billy hargrove requests can you do a billy x reader, where the reader has had a really bad day because people have been mean or like someones being sexist and then when they get home billy cheers them up.If not that's fine love you u <3
Still A Thing
(Billy Hargrove x Female Reader)
Warnings: Language, suggestive situation, Tommy being a dick
Word Count: 783
A/N: While technically my requests are still closed, I'm really glad you sent this in! I feel like I'm headed into a rut, but this helped get some creative juices flowing, so thank you!
I hope it's okay how I interpreted your request, and I hope you enjoy!
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Billy looked away from the TV when the front door slammed, and you stormed right past him.
His brow furrowed. You didn’t get pissed often, but when you did, it was usually because of someone else’s ignorance.
It was a miracle you put up with Billy for all these years. You had told him trying went a long way with you. And he’d be damned if he stopped.
You’d already rid yourself of your jeans when he reached your bedroom.
“What happened?” Billy asked, leaning against the doorway.
You had your shirt halfway off when it got too tight, and you had to shimmy it the rest of the way. And with a frustrated huff, you whipped it onto the floor.
“Ran into Tommy 'Dickhead' Hagan.” You opened the drawer Billy was using and grabbed one of his shirts. “Haven’t been in Hawkins two fucking minutes, and I see the guy I wanna deck the most.”
You hadn’t noticed Billy walking toward you until he grabbed both of your hands, putting one on the back of his neck and the other on his belt loop. You automatically started playing with his curls and rubbing the denim between your fingers.
“What happened?” he asked again, much gentler, eyes patient.
You inhaled deeply, trying to keep yourself from losing it.
“Said he was surprised you and I were ‘still a thing.’ That he ‘figured you’d drop my ass after you got some ass.’” You really wished you were the type of person that would bitchslap an asshole.
To his credit, Billy didn’t react besides squeezing your shoulders. He was waiting for you to finish.
“And what did you say?”
You bit your lip, your words finally coming to you after your mind had gone fuzzy at Tommy’s comment.
“Told him a twenty-six-year-old should grow up and stop inviting high schoolers to keggers. And to stop having keggers,” you said.
Billy threw his head back with laughter, and you joined him, stepping forward so you could lean your forehead on his chest.
“You should’ve seen the look on his face when I said, ‘Hope you have the day you deserve.’” Your giggling only increased when Billy wrapped his arms around you and lifted you to the bed.
“Was he smart enough to get what you were saying?” Billy leaned over you, one arm supporting him over your head.
“Must be, ‘cause I thought I saw steam coming out his ears as I left,” you said, cupping his neck and running your thumb along his jaw.
He nudged your nose with his. “Good. Jackass deserved it.” He pulled back slightly so he could look you in the eyes. “M’proud of you. Standing up for yourself. Know it’s hard sometimes.”
You gave him a small smile. “Was standing up for you, too. You don’t deserve to be spoken about like that. Not after all the work you’ve done. All the ways you’ve grown.”
Your hand moved to caress his cheek, and he kissed your palm.
“Couldn’t have done it without you,” he mumbled, leaning into your touch.
“Couldn’t have stood up to Tommy without you,” you said.
Billy smiled. “Guess we’re pretty good for each other.”
“We’re great for each other.”
He hummed and situated himself so he laid on top of you, face buried in the crook of your neck.
“Remember, we’re meeting everyone at Steve’s in two hours,” you said, drawing patterns on his back.
His grin pressed into your throat. “What are we gonna do with two hours?”
You rolled your eyes, a fond smile growing. “Less than two hours.”
He pulled back to look at you. “We’re the guests of honor. Just tell them we got in later than expected.”
You raised a brow at him. “After what happened at the store? I’m sure the whole town knows we’re here by now.”
He huffed, pushing his face back where it was, and mumbled, “Fucking Hawkins.”
You giggled and kissed his forehead, feeling him smile even though he wanted to pout.
“How about a half hour of this, then we get ready?” you asked.
He hummed. “We’ll see. Might take a nap.”
“A half-hour nap.”
He placed a finger on your lips. “Shh, I’m napping.”
You bit his finger lightly, and he scraped his teeth along your neck.
Your breath hitched, and he chuckled.
“Maybe I can do something else in that half hour,” he mused, kissing your jaw.
You let out a content sigh as he continued his path until he reached your lips.
Part of him hoped you would both run into Tommy again after this weekend. Billy would gladly show him how together you were once that ring was on your finger.
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Taglist: @moonlightfountain, @steph-speaks, @bookshelf-dust
If you’d like to be added to any taglists, please comment or message me with the character you’d like updates on.
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teyammybeloved · 7 months
Text
A thousand sorrys
miguel o’hara
summary : when you overhear miguel say some not nice things about you while under the influence, and pressure of his friends, you decide to distant yourself
warning: ANGST AGNST ANSGT. fluffy ending tho i think, mentions of swearing, overthinking, idk, established relationship, pregnancy
you walked around the HQ with a small spring in your step, which was nothing out of the ordinary really. you knew miguel had been working hard lately, and had been not doing a very good job of taking care of himself.
so being the caring person you care, you had brought him his favourite food, which was in the white takeout box in your hand, spa gift vouchers in your pocket, and a little something else, all that you wanted to give miguel tonight, you hadn’t been home in nearly a week, staying at your parents to help with your dad who had fallen ill
walking to his office, you see lyla there, “hey lyla, miguel in there?” you ask softly, she replies. “no, he is upstairs at the bar with a few friends” you nodded
you wondered which friends that was, but much to ur surprise when you walk into the bar, you don’t recognise them, they definitely aren’t from here, peering over you notice miguels glass empty, so you walk over to the bar without them noticing you to order miguel a new drink, close enough you can hear the conversation, but you don’t really pay it any mind
until your name gets brought up.
“so that little girlfriend of yours, y/n?” one of the guys said. “what about her?” miguel asked, you second guess buying the drink, you could hear the slur in his words, telling you he is basically already drunk, you can’t help but wonder why he didn’t correct the boy, you’re his wife.
“she follows you around like a puppy, clinging to you all the time” you frown, your back still turned to them. you loved miguel, of course you wanted to be around him.
“yeah- is that not really fucking annoying?” another guy pitches in. you wait for miguel to defend you.
but it doesn’t happen.
“yeah it is, she just- doesnt get the hint that i want her to leave me alone, so annoying” miguel slurs and hiccups all the way through his sentence.
you try to convince yourself its just because he is drunk, but you have always stood by drunk words sober thoughts. as the bartender meets you, you want to scram.
“hey y/n, what can i get for you” he says softly, the music is loud enough, you pray miguel didn’t hear him just say your name, but thankfully he didn’t. “you know. im okay actually” you mutter, he nods before moving on.
you walk away from the bar as quickly as possible. going back to yours and miguels shared home. however you find yourself taking a few things and walking to the guest bedroom.
did you really cling to him? it was something you always worried about but he told you he loved how clingy you are.
you we’re left to ponder your thoughts for a few hours.
miguel sobered up a bit once his friends left, finding his way back to his office now in his right mind, he didn’t even remember much but he knew he had a lot to drink to have to deal with them.
they just weren’t the type of people he enjoyed being around anymore, and when they show up unannounced and uninvited it made it difficult to avoid any longer.
“y/n was here, she left you something on your desk” lyla said as miguel approached. “y/n is here?” he instantly perked up, looking around, he had missed you so so much.
“she was, she said she looked for you but couldn’t find you so she went home” miguel frowned, normally you would wait in his office, but you mustve been tired.
“thanks lyla” he said, before making his way into his office, he walked over to his desk, smile making its way onto his face as he saw the takeout box, he looked down, picking up the pieces of paper, spa trips, together.
he felt himself relax more immediately, knowing he would be able to get that quality time with you after not being with you for so long.
he couldn’t wait to get home.
you had come to the ultimate decision after a few hours, if miguel thought you were so clingy, you would give him space, but the idea of being in the same house as him made your stomach churn, how could you look at him while knowing he thinks youre too clingy and annoying.
so you right a quick note, and leave it on the fridge with a magnet, taking fresh close, and leaving.
the note wasn’t a lie, everything on it was true, the only difference is, if you hadn’t heard what miguel said, you wouldve declined.
when miguel got home, he was disappointed not to see you straight away. he absolutely hated being away from you, he missed hugging you, and kissing you, and hearing your voice and seeing you smile.
he called out your name but couldn’t hear a response. he quickly went to the kitchen to get a bottle of water, noticing the note on the fridge, which wasn’t there before.
‘im sorry i couldn’t see you, mom called and said that dad had gotten worse and they still needed more help, so i got some new clothes and stuff and i’ll probably be home in a week or so, ill still show up to work because i know this is an extra week away, but ill be there, i just wont be home, i tried to look for you at the HQ, but couldn’t find you. the spa tickets with go out of date in a week, so you can find someone else to go with, im sorry”
be safe
y/n’
he frowned, feeling his stomach fill with a unfamiliar feeling, that he couldn’t explain. while he hoped your dad was okay, he missed his wife, so insanely much and he wanted nothing more than to hold you.
he reread the letter, noticing you didn’t add your ‘i love you spider boy’ at the bottom like you normally do on every note you right. he assumes you were in a rush.
he will see you tomorrow, at work.
you shouldve come to miguels office by now, he thinks. it’s almost noon and you come in at least a couple times a day just to sit and talk, but you haven’t, he hasn’t seen you, but he knows you’re there.
and lunch he decides to find you himself.
you feel a soft hand on your back, looking behind you, and up, you see miguel, you stiffen immediately. “hey bonita.” he mutters softly, “hey” you reply, moving away from his touch but you make it seem like youre just waiting to get the next food item.
“missed you” he says, wrapping his arms around you, from behind. you want to reply and tell him how much you miss him but you don’t. as you get the next food, miguel releases you from his arms, you face him.
“hows your dad?” he asked softly. “i think he is okay” you reply. miguel frowns, you don’t see happy to see him — but you have a lot going on, maybe youre just stressed.
“do you want to come have lunch in my office, missed talking to you” he says softly, grabbing your hand. “im sorry miguel, i promised jess id sit with her” you say, miguel frowns. “its alright, ill see you later?” he says, placing a kiss on your forehead. “sure- maybe” you mutter. “i love you” he says, but you just walk away, he tells himself you just didn’t hear him.
he doesn’t see you later that day.
the rest of the week is the same, you avoid him, always busy, doing something. he can’t help to feel like there’s something bigger.
he hears the front door open, late saturday night, he instantly perked up. for you, the last week has been filled with self doubt and hatred. finding it impossible to get out of your own head. youre mother had to actually kick you out, to get you to go home.
“baby?” miguel calls out as he leaves his office, he sees you in the door way, duffle bag over your shoulder. “hey” you say, as you continue walking to the bedroom to unpack your stuff.
“y/n” he says as you avoid his touch once more. “miguel” you say in the same tone, he follows you to the bedroom.
“whats going on?” he asks softly, wanting nothing more then to fix what he had done. “miguel.” you say, almost in a way that screams i dont want to talk about it.
“i know its more then just your dad, whats going on, what did i do wrong?” he asks, desperate for an answer. you run your hands through your hair.
“nothing miguel” you say. he frowns. “stop calling me that” he says.
“stop calling you your name?” you ask, sitting on the bed, looking up at him, you looked so tired miguel almost dropped it. “you never call me my name, its always baby or my love what did i do” he is desperate.
“oh sorry, am i being annoying?” you ask, miguel raised his eyebrow at your tone, “what do you mean?” he asks, pure confusion.
you shake your head. “i heard you miguel, in the bar with your friends, who obviously hate me. “im too clingy and annoying right?”
miguel feels a punch to his gut, but its not physical. “baby - no - no no no” he says, trying to grab your hands, but you pull them away.
“stop- miguel. i can leave you alone, i can stop following you around, and talking so much all the time”
“no don’t stop, please don’t stop” he is stressing, he fucked up and bad and he was losing you and he was panicking, “i love when you follow me and i love hearing you talk, i promise- i swear i do”
“obviously not”
“y/n- please just hear me out”
“i asked you so many times if i was too clingy or annoying and you said no, every single time and said you loved it, my biggest insecurity miguel- and you hate it, and you lied to me and said that you didn’t, but also talked about me behind my back, you’re supposed to be my husband” you say, shaking your head.
“i am your husband- i didn’t lie to you- i don’t- i dont hate it at all, i love it, i really do i love when youre close to me and i fucking hate when youre not” he says.
“stop miguel- i heard what you said”
“baby i was out of my mind drunk, you know why you have never met them, because i fucking hate them, i let them influence me every fucking time. they had been riling me up about going soft all fucking day since they arrived and i needed them to stop, im sorry, im so sorry i said it, i didn’t mean it, i didn’t mean any of it and im sorry.”
you frown, you do believe him, he had told you about these friends before and how they always have a way of getting to him before he can even stop it, and they weren’t important to him.
but you we’re still hurt.
“miguel- i need time” you say, he shakes his head, “youve had a week, please just stay home, stay with me and we can fix this”
“i know we can fix this miguel- im just extremely tired right now and i don’t want to be mean” you say, laying in the bed, on your side facing him.
“im sorry, im so so so sorry” he says, getting into bed next to you. “please forgive me, bonita, i miss you clinging to me so so so much, i miss having you in my arms and kissing your lips, hearing you laugh- i cant lose you.”
you sigh, half asleep as you listen to him. “you won’t miguel” you say.
the words linger on your tongue before you open your mouth, “im pregnant miggy” you say, before falling asleep.
when you wake up, you look to your side at the digital clock, gasping when you realise youre three hours late at the HQ, whats worse, is that miguel is in bed next to you, staring at the ceiling also late to work.
“miguel- we are so late” you mutter, sitting up. but miguel doesn’t move. “miguel- get up,” you say, “we’re not going, i called us in sick” he says, little emotion in his tone. “what- miguel what?” you shake your head.
“you’re pregnant” you forgot what you said last night in the last moment before falling asleep. “oh- miggy- i can still go in- so can you”
“you didn’t tell me” he muttered, frowning. “how long have you known?” he asks, you frown. “two weeks, im a month in.” you say softly.
“i came to the HQ, the day i came back.. i left the test in your draw but i guess you didn’t see it.” you say softly.
“we’re having a baby” he says, before he smiles. “we are having a baby, our baby.” you smile seeing his face.
“im sorry miguel, i shouldn’t have avoided you” you mutter, miguel shakes his head “no- you don’t apologise. im sorry, im so so so sorry that i said all that shit and let them get to me, im sorry i made you believe it.”
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abiiors · 7 months
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red lines - pt. 1 ║// matty healy x reader
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a/n: i want you to read this very very carefully: i am pro-choice and i will always be pro-choice. and this is a work of fiction. also feel the need to add that this is more a collection of small vignettes??? ugh idk, hope you enjoy regardless cw: *deep breath* angst, pregnancy, mentions of abortion, mentions of vomit, (and other pregnancy symptoms), crying (so much of it my god) and arguments, mentions of smoking, illness, hospitals, panic attacks, reader has a good relationship with her mother so i guess that's a cw too, (most definitely inaccurate) descriptions of birth. wc: 4.6k
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two red lines is all it takes to ruin a perfect life. 
two red lines repeated twice on two different tests that stare back at you from the counter—innocent and white and damning. the bathroom is utterly still, save for the tap dripping one drop every seven seconds. you would know, you counted it, used those seven seconds to ground you and stop you from spiraling into another panic attack for the three minutes it took to get those two red lines. 
pregnant. 
with two more weeks left on tour by matty’s side. 
gingerly you wrap them in toilet paper, make sure they’re safe and secure and nothing’s peeking out. you throw it in the bin, looking at it with a deadness on your face that you feel deep inside. then you call the reception and ask them to take out the trash. 
matty isn’t here. he’s on stage, serenading thousands of people who hang on to every single word he says, looking at him with all the love and adoration in the world. matty, your matty, who belongs as much to you as he does to the people, the fans. you should have been there too but there was the migraine and the nausea that wouldn’t go away. so you told him you would just sleep it off tonight. 
have an amazing night, babe. break a leg. and then a sweet kiss and a promise to see him tomorrow. 
and then the two red lines.
every time you blink you see them flash in front of you—like a promise or a warning. or maybe even a sentence. 
pregnant. 
a baby. 
a cause for happiness and celebration. 
and the conversation from a week ago that lingers in your mind, echoes inside your skull as if those words are the only ones you remember. 
i’m just not ready love, he says, not now. maybe not for another year or two. i don’t know, babies are a lot of work. and i am a lot of work. 
i love you, he says, kissing you deeply and tasting his own cum on your lips. i love you but a baby right now is a hard no. 
nothing in particular spurred this conversation really—just the two of you, naked, and tangled up in the sheets, his hand caressing your lower stomach and you letting yourself daydream. who knew the daydream was indeed reality? and now here you are, head in your hands—partly from the migraine, partly from the anxiety—waiting for him to be back. 
he will change his mind, you know it. matty loves you, and this baby is half you, half him. he will come around and you will be there to soothe his worries. you know he will hear the baby’s heartbeat and fall in love. 
you know he will treat them like the most precious thing in the whole world. 
the thought makes you smile and the door creaks open. 
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“pregnant,” he looks at you warily, “what do you mean pregnant?”
the small smile on your face fades away. “pregnant with a baby, matty. what other kind of pregnant is there?”
you wonder if you meant to joke, if he will break character and laugh and everything will be okay again. maybe you just caught him by surprise, this is just a blip. in two more minutes, he will smile and drop down to his knees and kiss your still-flat stomach. he’ll say hello to them. tell them he loves them and then tell you how much he loves you, kissing you gently and pulling you into him. 
you can already feel his feather-light touch on your skin. his mouth lingering on your lower stomach on his way down. 
matty stills in place. 
“no…”
one word, it’s small and broken and so unlike him that you almost do a double-take. 
“what do you mean no?”
“i can’t okay?” his voice rises, “i told you i can’t!”
you can sense the agitation he feels, his hammering heartbeat and the shallowness of his breaths. his hands runs through his hair, spilling the curls everywhere. 
“you’re on the pill.” 
“i think…” you hedge, tears gathering in your eyes, “i think i missed a day.”
he snaps his head up to look at you. when matty first came back to the room, he looked happy and giddy—cheeks pink and hair stuck to his forehead from the sweat. now he looks grey and listless. like all the colour’s been zapped out of him. 
“you missed a day,” he repeats. 
“matty, please…”
but matty is already turning around and storming off to the balcony. through the glass you watch him light a cigarette with shaky hands, taking a deep drag before he tips his head back and blows it out. another drag, another blow. eyes closed. breathing that slowly goes from rapid to normal once again. 
five minutes later, only the stub remains and matty is back in the room. 
“i can’t,” he says firmly. “i told you i wasn’t ready.”
it sounds final. like a death knell. instictively your hand covers your stomach.
“i won’t,” you shake your head and the tears fall rapidly, first down your cheeks then your chin and onto your chest. “i won’t get rid of it.”
matty stares at you quietly, you stare back. it seems you’re at an impasse. 
twenty minutes later, you pack your bags. 
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london is greyer than it has ever been, especially from your new flat so far away from the hustle and bustle of the city. not that you’ve had much time to get acquainted with the new area after being bent over the toilet for days on end, retching and heaving until there’s nothing left inside you. a hollowness so deep that no amount of food or water will fill it. 
so you eat strictly for the baby. pre-natal vitamins and supplements and a nutritious breakfast that you throw right back up. but you try. all for the sake of the tiny clump of cells dependent on you. the image of the two red lines has long been replaced with a grainy black and white rectangle. every time you close your eyes, you see the screen lit up with an image of your little bean, moving around. in some far back corner of your mind, you think they look happy.
at night you curl up on your cold bed, phone in hand, the baby’s heartbeat playing on repeat. it used to be his, your brain reminds you painfully. back when you slept all cuddled up with him. head on his chest, his soothing heartbeat lulling you to sleep.
you mother is worried about you. she calls at least thrice a day to make sure you ate every meal and took every pill. she comes every sunday to stock you fridge full of vegetables and fruits and make sure you have enough ginger and peppermint tea. sundays, begrudgingly, become your favourite. your mother, once again, becomes your best friend. 
but you can’t let her move in. can’t let her be a constant presence and drive you crazy and unearth him every chance she gets. so like clockwork, at 6 pm, you usher her out the door, tell her you need privacy and quiet and solitude. like every single time, she promises she’ll be back next sunday. 
and every single time she keeps her word.
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one day you wake up to a change—a small one, really, but a change regardless. barely even noticeable at first. it’s your top that doesn’t reach all the way down. maybe it shrunk in the wash, you think. then the full length mirror reminds you of the reality. and the tiny little bump that’s seemingly grown overnight. 
your little bean. suddenly so real. so tangible. so present. 
“hello, little one,” you coo at your stomach, feeling a little silly at first. there’s no reply, of course, just the sounds of morning traffic coming in from the open window. but your eyes stay trained on the bump. “you weren’t so noticeable last night.”
nothing happens. no movement (of course, not. they’re too small for that.), no one appreciating the change with you. matty who should have been here to witness this…
matty who isn’t here to witness this. 
emotions swirl in your head so fast that it’s dizzying. this time there’s no tears falling one by one. there’s the sobs that come all of a sudden and the floodgates that open in the blink of an eye but he is not here to hold you or pull you into his chest when you gasp and gasp for a breath that never comes.
in a panic you dial the first number you can find in your contacts, gasping and yelling out broken sentences and panicking at whoever’s picked up. it’s 8 am on a wednesday, whoever you called must be utterly bewildered. yet when you can focus enough, you realise it’s a man’s voice replying. a familiar voice. shocked and equally panicked and asking you if you’re okay again and again. 
you pull the phone away from your ear and look at the screen. at adam’s name flashing on it. 
the first contact on your list. one starting with an a.
“fuck,” you mumble. “sorry, i’m okay. i’m fine.” and then you hang up, and rock yourself back and forth on the ground until your breaths resemble something normal. 
fifteen minutes later, there’s pounding at your front door and the bell rings incessantly. in your gut you know it’s adam. and it’s confirmed when his voice floats through the door. 
“open the door,” he urges. “i need to know you’re okay.” 
and so you pull yourself back up, harshly wipe away the tears and unlock the front door. 
it’s only been a month since you last saw adam but he looks different. his hair’s grown out, his dark circles are gone and in spite of the worried look on his face, he looks happier somehow. healthier. 
being back home with the love of your life and your baby will do that to you.
“you look well,” you croak out and then clear your throat. adam doesn’t take the bait. 
“do you need me to take you to the hospital? call your gp?” straight to the point as always. you smile at him fondly. 
“no, no i don’t. i’m okay, i promise.”
“you didn’t sound okay.”
“i meant to call my mum, adam. sorry i dialed the wrong number.”
“regardless,” he holds up a hand. “can you please talk to me. or talk to mat—”
“don’t.” the voice that comes out of you is stern. “he doesn’t want me or the baby. i will not let him talk me into an abortion.”
adam winces and rubs a hand over his face. perhaps that was harsh, you think, he’s not some evil villain. but none of it changes the outcome. in every single universe, you end up here—fresh off a panic attack in your living room, talking to your ex-boyfriend’s best friend. 
“how did you know where i live?”
at that he looks a bit sheepish. “i asked you mum. not today!” he reassures hastily when your eyes widen. “don’t worry. i asked her a few days ago. i wanted to… i’ve been meaning to check up on you.”
“and you couldn’t call?” you smile at him wryly. 
“no. i wanted to see you in person.”
“so you can report back to him?”
adam clicks his tongue and warmth fills your chest. he’s always been good to you, always been kind, and loved you like a little sister. you shouldn’t have cut him off like this. 
“no,” he says. “so i could make sure you were okay.”
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it’s a small mercy that the morning sickness eases a few days after that as your bump continues to grow. more often than not, you find yourself with a hand on your stomach, drawing small circles on it and humming to it. lately, you’ve also noticed the little flutters that linger long after you stop humming. your baby responding to you. showing you they’re there. 
it’s not far before you approach the twenty week mark. the most important scan you’ll have throughout. you’ll find out the gender, you’ll find out if they’re healthy or not. 
and each time you think about it, it’s like the weight of the entire world is on your shoulders. 
the night before you contemplate calling your mum, nervous and panicked once again but it’s almost 11 pm. she would be deep asleep by now—she would be excited too. no need to put a damper on her mood. 
then you wonder if calling adam is a good idea. but you quickly scrap it. 
for the first time in months your finger hovers over the familiar name in your contacts. over the little heart that’s still next to his name that you never bothered to change. 
what will he say if you called him now? will he even pick up?
are you ready enough to brave it? 
the truth still remains. you want this baby, he doesn’t. the same impasse you were at months ago. if any of that had changed, he would have called you. he would have reached out… right?
so instead you do the second stupidest thing. you type up his name in google. 
your stomach churns with nausea or anxiety or just impending doom while the webpage loads—slow, too slow for your liking. or maybe time has simply slowed down and you’re too much of a coward to really face the consequences of your own action. 
the webpage loads. the frown on your face deepens. 
nothing. rather, the last article written about him specifically is from two days after the tour ended. everything after that is either recycled news, or some silly quiz about the band. nothing about him. no pap photos, no social media activity. absolutely nothing to indicate he’s even left his house in the last few months. 
you mind buzzes with all kinds of thoughts, swirls with wicked possibilities. you almost even text adam about it before the turning your phone off abruptly and chucking it to the other side of the bed. 
no more temptation. 
sleep is like a fickle friend—has been since the day you left the hotel room in tears. but you close your eyes and imagine your baby’s heart beating inside you in sync with yours. tomorrow, there will be a new recording to replace the older one. hopefully one that’s stronger. calmer. 
when sleep drags you under around three in the morning, you dream of his hands—fingers gingerly touching your stomach, resting on all the spots that flutter with movement. gentle hands that massage your sore feet and work out the kinks in your back. 
hands that you might never feel on your skin ever again.
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the doctor smiles coyly and slides an envelope to your mother. it’s a little hush-hush secret, one she insisted on and begged till you relented. the gender reveal isn’t huge or flashy but you know there’s a cake waiting for you at home along with a few friends and family. and for the first time in months, you let the excitement of it wash over you. 
the scan was perfect! and now you feel a bit bad for clutching your mum’s hand hard enough till she’d winced (even though she hid it quickly and smiled at you in encouragement). so now here you are, thanking the doctor and practically skipping out the room with your mum laughing in tow. 
she looks lighter too, you realise, much more carefree as she gushes about her precious grandbaby and how excited she is to meet them. 
“we have to buy onesies!” she squeals getting behind the wheel and you laugh.
“we will, mum, but they’re going to grow out of it in weeks so you can’t go crazy, okay?”
she dismisses this with a wave and a pfft and you can already imagine the mountain of clothes she’s going to buy over the next twenty weeks. 
you nod off to the sound of your mum excitedly making plans for an elaborate baby shower, one that you’ll have to beg her to tone down, but her voice fades away soon. instead, you dream of him. your subconscious wonders what he would have been like today—maybe he’d cry out of excitement or being overwhelmed, maybe he would smile so wide his cheeks hurt. in some parallel universe the two of you would be in the baby aisle—hand in hand and cooing over tiny onesies. 
in this universe, you jerk out of the daydream just as your mum parks in the driveway. 
your friends and family don’t yell “surprise”, much to your relief. there are many hugs and congratulations. tears of happiness and jokes and then a delicious vanilla cake brought in front of you. 
everyone waits eagerly. no one brings him up. not even you, as you sink the knife into it and cut a slice. 
it’s pink. a gorgeous, pale pink. it’s a girl. 
everyone cheers. your mum hugs you and you sniffle into her shoulder while laughing giddiy. a girl, your baby girl. 
right then you know what you’re going to call her—you don’t need baby name lists on google or a hundred suggestions from your mother. you already know her name. 
mia.
mine and mine alone.
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blink and twenty weeks go down to fifteen and ten and then five. each day it seems like you only get bigger and bigger, impossibly so. your life is filled to the brim with baby stuff, inside and out. everywhere you look there’s either a pram or a crib or pregnancy books. every time you get one spare minute you’re reminded of the back aches and sore feet. the constant hunger that just does not seem to go away no matter how much you eat.
your mothers visits increase from only sundays to whole weekends to three days a week. 
at first you protest—fuelled by hunger and hormones and mood swings. fuelled by the rage of a thousand burning stars as you stomp into the living room where she’s folding yet another batch of baby socks and blankets. 
“you’re suffocating me!” you snap, already on the brink of tears while she looks at you like you’ve grown two heads. 
“baby—”
“no! mum,” a deep breath and a few stray tears, “i’m not a baby. i’m having a baby for fucks sake.”
“language!” she scolds.
“stop it, just, please!” there’s not much you can do but stomp your foot like a petulant child. proving her point most likely. “stop acting like i need to be coddled and protected. just. stop!”
your mum looks speechless, too stunned to speak but the ball is rolling and now you cannot stop. 
“i don’t need you here. i don’t need you acting like i would crumble and wither away without you. i don’t need you and i certainly don’t need him—fuck!” you gasp for a breath, choking mid-sentence. 
the second those words spill out of you, you want to take them back but it’s too late. her eyes are already red-rimmed and glossy. one tear rolls down her cheek and that’s all it takes for you to break down completely. 
“fuck!” you repeat. “i’m sorry, mum. i’m so sorry.” that’s the only thing you can chant until she chucks the clothes aside and wraps her arms around you, shushing you the best she can through her own tears. 
for the first time in eight months you wonder about what if. and for the first time in eight months, you think about his words from that night. 
maybe not for another year or two.
you’re closer now to the one year mark that you’re to that night. mia kicks your insides again—her own version of support or maybe it’s her doling out punishment for never introducing her to her dad. either way, it’s not helping. all it does is spread pain throughout your lower body as you hold onto your mum, rocking back and forth. 
“it’s alright, sweetheart,” you mum whispers gently, kissing the crown of your head and cradling you like she used to when you were a kid. it makes your emotions worse. increases the ache tenfold. 
“i miss him, mum,” you admit finally, in a voice so small that you might as well not have spoken. but she hears it anyway. she hears it but doesn’t interrupt. she lets you speak. 
“every single day i wonder if he even gives a shit. or if he regrets leaving me, leaving us. i speak to adam and carly and i wonder if they ever tell him about me. i wonder if he even cares…”
you gulp down air, wiping your nose on the sleeve of your jumper and cuddling into her further. 
“and after everything. i miss him more than anything in this world.”
there it is. the truth, finally out there, finally spilled after months of pretending to be cold and callous. you wait for her to speak, to say something that will dull the pain and release you from this torment but she never gets the chance. 
because that is the moment your daughter decides to make her grand entrance.
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it’s pain like you’ve never felt before. 
pain and panic and unadulterated fear. she’s not supposed to be here yet. you’re only 35 weeks pregnant—nowhere near full term. what if this affects her negatively. you blame and blame—first yourself; you must have done something wrong, right? ate something wrong or not taken the right vitamins or slept the wrong fucking way. then you blame matty. if he was here, you would have never been this stressed and unhappy in the first place. everything would have been smooth-sailing. 
and yet a small part of you yearns for him to be here. to brush your sweaty hair away from your forehead instead of your mother as the doctor yells at you to push. 
it’s all too much, all too soon. this is not how it’s supposed to be. this is not how any of this is supposed to be. 
the machines around you beep in a rhythm that’s all worng—it’s too loud and erratic and out of sync with the rest of the world. surely, that’s not how fast your heart’s beating. maybe the beeping is something else you’re unaware of. and yet your body feels hot and cold at the same time. too weak to move but pushing and contracting and tearing you apart from the inside. you’re vaguely aware of the screams that tear out of you, of gripping your mum’s hand so tightly that you worry, you’ve bruised it. 
but she’s strong, stronger than you’ll ever be. she endures and passes along some of that strength to you. 
“one more big push,” the doctor encourages. she’s a kind, middle-aged woman. probably someone who’s brought many babies into this world. she knows what she’s doing. but your body won’t cooperate. 
all you feel is a bone deep exhaustion that tries to drag you under as your mother taps your cheek. 
“a big push, baby,” she repeats. “one big push and her shoulders will be out.”
and that would almost be the end of it, right? so you nod with whatever’s left in you and breathe the way they taught you in birthing classes. 
and that’s how it goes. inhale. hold. exhale. gather strength. push. all of it done to a constant stream of rather futile encouragements. until you feel like you’re bursting at the seams and coming undone. about to unravel any moment. 
but then a tiny cry echoes around the room and the world comes to a standstill.
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mia’s arrival changes everything in the blink of an eye. 
you have no time left for self-pity; every waking moment is occupied with feedings and nappy changes and laundry. you sleep when she sleeps, you hold her close every chance you get. you sing her and cradle her and shower her with enough affection for two people. she has you and your mum. she doesn’t need anyone else. 
slowly you let other friends and family visit—extremely selective and protective about who gets the priviledge but one afternoon when adam messages you know you can’t deny that to him. even when you’ve tried to keep him, and all of them by entension, at bay. 
in another universe, she would have been his goddaughter. you’re sure of it. 
so you let him and carly and their son visit, let them hold her and gush over her. carly instantly falls in love with her, cradling her close and trying to make her smile even though she’s just woken up. mia babbles at her and grabs her shiny necklace. 
you watch them transfixed, giggling at carly’s squeals and coos until adam asks if he could speak to you alone. 
“i don’t want to step over a boundary,” he starts and you know what’s coming but you let him continue. “have you thought about letting him know? that she’s already here…”
“i…” in all honesty, you had wondered if you should call him and let him know. but what if he still doesn’t care. “i didn’t. i couldn’t.”
adam’s face softens. “he’s back in london, you know? you could. you could try.”
that piques your interest. you hadn’t knows he’d left in the first place. “he’s back?”
adam takes a deep breath, eyes darting slightly and lingering on his wife as if he’s trying to steel himself. as if he has some news he’d rather not share. in the end however, maybe he chooses not to.
“yes, he’s back,” he says, trying and failing not to sound cagey. “he wasn’t until now. but if you would talk to him… just, i think you should talk to him.”
for the rest of their visit, his words linger in your mind. they stay even after the hanns leaving, promising another visit whenever you’re free next and you tell them they’re welcome any time. this time, you even mean it from the bottom of your heart.
but adam’s words come back to haunt you day after day as mia continues to grow. day after day you watch her learn about new things and figure out new stuff around her.
matty should be here. if not for him then for her. and once again you wonder about calling him.
one last chance. if he ignores this then he loses the right to his daughter forever.
so one tuesday morning, you gather the courage. you strap your baby to your chest and go downstairs to make some pancakes.
“after breakfast, darling,” you tell her, even though those words aren’t meant for her. “after breakfast we’ll call him again. maybe he will pick up. maybe he won’t.”
mia babbles when you kiss her head and flip a pancake, ignoring the worry that settles in the pit of your stomach. you’re so focused on the task at hand (rather, at ignoring the thoughts of impending doom) that you almost miss the doorbell that rings once and then again.
so focused that you have to scramble to wash your hands and rush to the door. maybe it’s your mum again, even though she wasn’t supposed to come today. it won’t be her first surprise visit, though. she misses her granddaughter far too much for that.
in a hurry you open the door, without even thinking about it twice. without even bothering to unstrap your daughter from your chest.
matty’s familiar face comes into view and for the second time in three months, the world comes to a standstill.
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lemme know what you think <33
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Club Lights And Sex On The Beach
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PART 1
Pairings: Josh Kiszka x Reader
Warnings: 18+, alcohol, drinking, one-night stands/hookups, smut, penetrative sex, drunken sex (still consensual), protected sex (don't be silly, wrap your willy!), afab reader, feminine terms of endearment used, pretty much a female reader but you could get away with it not imagining the reader as a woman.
Summary: After a fun night at the club you run into a handsome stranger and his friends. What happens when you end up in his bed?
Authors Note: This is a multichapter series!!!!!!! This is only part 1 but we are gonna get into a full-fledged story pretty soon. I will be posting parts 2 and 3 later tonight because they are both pretty short. If you choose this could be read as a one-shot but I strongly recommend following the series. I hope you enjoy it!!! also, remember that my requests are always open!
you can also read on AO3 here.
PART 2 & 3 out now.
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Part 1
The lights came down harshly on your skin, illuminating the dim room just a tad more. The club is decently packed, and a small crowd of people at the beginning of the night quickly turns into a bustling scene full of college girls looking for either a good time or a quick fuck, either way, it’s still fun. Then there were the rowdy frat boys either being annoying or harassing girls at the bar, either way, they were douchebags. 
One type stood out to you though, it was a small group of guys, but they were different. You couldn’t help but notice these men, they were talking with each other at their fancy booth in the back of the club. There were 4 of them, all devilishly handsome you had to admit, but one of them shined particularly bright. You saw him frequent the bar throughout the night, until now. 
You feel a force bump into you from the side, not hard but forceful enough for you to spill a little bit of your drink on the bar. “Oh I’m sorry sweetheart are you ok” you hear from beside you, a charming voice guiding you. And there he is, your mystery man you’ve had your eye on all night. 
“Oh yeah I’m fine don’t worry about it.” You nearly yell above the loud music to him.
“Well it looks like you spilled your drink,” He says, making you look at the reminisce of your drunken reflexes failing you. 
“Don’t worry about it it’s ok” You smile at him, and in return, he looks directly into your eyes. His brown eyes caused a shift in your stomach, piercing your soul while comforting you in a delightful mix of emotions. 
“Well, I can stop worrying about it if you let me buy you a drink.” The clever way to buy a girl a drink. You sigh, “Well crap, I guess I gotta let you buy me a drink now.” You laugh out. “Why thank you,” he says, leaning over the bar and ordering sex on the beach. “Sex on the beach? how’d you know?” he looks back over at you with a smug grin strewn across his face, bewitching you even more. “I saw you ordering it when you first walked in.” Oh. So he was staring at you the whole night, interesting, I guess a smart girl’s intuition never fails. “Well thank you for noticing, Mr-” “Kiszka, but it would be best if you called me Josh.” “Well thank you very much, Josh, nice to meet you.” You smile back at him and for a moment you can feel lust piercing through you like you’ve been shot by Cupid himself. Who knew an arrow through the heart could feel so good? 
The rest of the next 40 or so minutes flew by in a hurricane of lustful glances and drunken introductions set in the brightly dimmed nightclub you found yourself in. Meeting his friends, those 4 guys you kept in mind to be specific. Their names were Jake, who just so happened to be the twin of Josh, (is it bad you’ve always dreamt of having a thing with a set of twins?) and their little brother Sam, accompanied by their friend Danny. And my god were they the epitome of beauty and grace, their suave presence somehow lighting up the dim nightclub. But then the next thing you knew, you were making out with Josh in the back alley waiting for an Uber. 
The ride back to his apartment was tense but uneventful in respect of the poor Uber driver who had probably dealt with enough drunk people tonight already. The sexual tension was overflowing from the backseat where you both resided, his hand on your thigh resting ever so gently with all the passion and care in the world. 
Then the car stopped, his hand quickly unbuckling your seatbelt for you and grabbing your hand, leading you out onto the sidewalk in front of a lavish apartment building, the ones you see celebrities come out of in staged paparazzi photo shoots. You felt his hand snake around your waist leading you into the lobby encrusted with marble and the stench of rich people wasting money because they can. Who were you about to sleep with? God only knows but you know for a fact you got lucky. 
The makeout session in the elevator was heated, so much so that you barely paid attention to the fact the elevator went straight into a hall with only 5 or 6 doors, with Josh leading you down the short hall straight into his apartment, or more so what looked like to be a penthouse. You didn’t get a great look at it though - through the lips on lips and hands and waists it was hard to pay attention to detail. 
He broke your kiss in what felt like hours, arguably the best of your life. You’re led into his bedroom quickly, He playfully drags you into the room, pushing you onto the bed. You spread your legs for him, butterflies swirl in your core. You watch as he starts to slow down, pulling his shirt over his head. He puts his knee in between your legs climbing over you on the bed. Your lips collide once more, desperate and lustful. You moan into it, quickly making work of his pants, pulling them down to his thighs. You can feel him through his boxers, already harder than ever. He slides his hand up your thigh, slowing towards the hem of your dress. He stops briefly, “Can I?” you only respond by lifting your hips and starting to pull it off, he stops you and pushes your hips back down with proximity while pulling it off, throwing it somewhere into the dark room, only lit by the moonlight shining in through the ceiling high window. 
Your body feels like it’s on fire, all you feel is warmth. Josh’s body presses up against yours again, lips and tongues intertwined making your head spiral, hell you had just met this guy an hour ago. This was way more fun than you thought you’d have tonight. A random man named Josh, his 3 best friends are hot - and you got to meet them, this guy is probably rich as fuck, and my god was he good.
He pulls away briefly losing the shorts and boxers. You can see his tip already red and leaking, he leans over you, continuing a loss you had such a brief moment ago. He reaches down underneath your hips and tears your underwear off, throwing it aside. The hold he has on your hips is strong, a sickeningly lustful feeling going straight to your head. He breaks away, “Do you want me to wear a condom?” he asks, almost breathless. “It’d be nice,” you say, catching your breath as well. He smiles and reaches over you to the nightstand grabbing one and tearing it open and putting it on swiftly. You grab his face, pulling him down to kiss you. Josh laughs through the kiss, his chuckle soon turns into a moan as he kisses down your neck. “Can I fuck you?” is all he manages to breathe out. “God, please.” you moan.
Your gut and head both turn to jelly as he enters you, not too slow, not too hard, and not too fast.
God, he’s good.
You feel the vibrations of his moan on your neck, mixed with the vibrations of yours coming from the same source. You can’t help but let it all out, moans and whimpers and all the beautiful sounds of sex fill up this room. His hips are snapping into yours, picking up the pace, brutally. He leans back, never losing stamina. Josh grips your hips, hard enough that you’re sure it’ll leave a bruise. He slides up to your upper thighs, pulling them apart while he kneels in front of you, throwing the back of your knees over his shoulders, making a new angle and another powerful sensation. You feel a coil start to form in your midgut, stronger than anything before it. “Fuck, I’m close-” You’re broken off by another moan escaping you by mistake. You watch as his hips snap back into you over and over, his abs are flexing and covered in a slight sheen of sweat. He takes his thumb and rubs it right underneath your clit, right on the sweet spot that drives you insane. Your orgasm comes crashing into you like a freight train at top speed. You don’t even realize how loud you moan, a headrush almost making you black out. You ride it out, soon coming to, hearing the pretty sound of Josh moaning and letting a slight whimper escape his pretty lips. “Fuck, baby-” he cuts himself off with a loud moan and the stutter of his hips. You feel the warmness in your gut fill you through the latex. He almost collapses on top of you, forearms pressed on the bed bedside. You rest your hands on the back of his neck, slowly caressing him through his post cum clarity. “That was the best sex I’ve ever had,” you admit, and to be completely honest, it was. That had been the best, let alone the best orgasm you’ve ever had. You feel him laugh a little, his head perking up, eyes locking with yours. “Really?” he breathes out, a chuckle leaving his lips, his pretty, pretty lips. God, he was beautiful. “Yes.” You watch as his eyes, seeing the words go straight to his head. “Why thank you, baby, I’m flattered.” he gives you a quick kiss on the lips, a gentle but beautiful gesture.
He slowly pulls out of you, taking off the condom and tying a knot in it. “I’ll be right back,” he gently pats your thigh as he gets up and heads towards the bathroom. Finally, you get the chance to look around and analyze where you are. It’s still dark, the moonlight shining in was still a good enough source though. His bed lies in the middle of the room. His walls are off-white, with unique artwork that just looks expensive. Goddamn, you hit the gold mine in the crowd of the bar tonight. You suddenly hear the bathroom door open back up, looking over you see his stature in the doorway, backlight by the bathroom light. He walks over and comes back up to you with a damp washcloth. “Do you mind if I clean you up?” He asks gently, his voice so calming you couldn’t help but agree to the kind gesture. He takes the washcloth to your upper thighs, cleaning up the stickiness. Gently, with more precision than ever, he glides it over your cunt, making sure not to overstimulate, while also cleaning you well. “Thank you,” you mutter out, now suddenly a bit shy after all is said and done. “You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he says, smiling brightly at you. You watch as he throws the towel in a hamper, turns off the bathroom light, turns back around, and hops back into bed. He offers you to climb under the covers with him, to which you happily oblige.
“Thank you, Josh, this is nice,” you say, making yourself comfortable in his bedsheets. He places a hand on your cheek, leaning on his side to fully lock eyes with you. “Of course, how could I see a beautiful girl like you and not treat her well?” you laugh along with him, thanking him for his kindness. You cuddle into his arms, sleepiness suddenly washing over you. His delightful musk fills your senses, his skin is so soft and gentle. This man is just so…beautiful. And kind. And sweet. And my god you can’t remember the last time, if at all, where you have ever been this happy, especially after hooking up with a guy you met at a bar. Josh brings you in closer, his gentle love lulls you to sleep, as the world around just goes into a comfortable silence.
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restlessmaknae · 1 year
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get it right [c.y.j.]
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Choi Yeonjun, the cute barista at your local café, just can't seem to get your name right. It's not until Christmas that he lets you know why.
➳ Characters: barista!Yeonjun x female!reader/you
➳ Genre: fluff, romance, uni au, café au
➳ Words: 1.8k
➳ Warning: mentions of food (let me know if there are more)
➳ A/N: This idea has been in the back of my mind for so long, but it wasn’t supposed to be Christmas-themed. I hope you enjoy it nevertheless! ❤️
Choi Yeonjun was a menace. An annoyingly handsome and a blushingly flirty menace. He was also the cute barista at the local café you frequented, and he just couldn't seem to get your name right whenever you ordered coffee to go. Sometimes your name was missing a few letters or the letters were switched, but there were times when the name scribbled down on the plastic paper wasn't even close to your name.
There was no way Yeonjun couldn't remember your name because you were a frequent customer, and because he actually initiated conversations with you while he was making your drink. Since you usually got yourself a coffee in the morning before you headed to uni to study at the library (because there was no way you could study in the dorms, your roommates weren’t exactly a fan of you studying so early in the morning), there weren't a lot of people coming into the café at such an early hour, but Yeonjun was always there. Since it wasn't peak time, he was the one who got and made your order, but in the afternoon, when there were a lot of visitors buzzing around, one barista received your order and another one made your drink.
You were in luck, it seemed, that you did have some time to speak to him while waiting for your drink because he was a fun company. Maybe a bit too flirty for his own good, but you guessed that he was like that with everyone else, too. Not until your best friend, Yoojung, actually went to your favourite café for the first time, did you dare to think otherwise.
"There's no way he's like that with everyone. You see, there were some girls in front of me outright telling him how handsome he is, and he didn't flirt back! Also, I got only a smiley beside my name on the cup," she reasoned as she held up her own cup of coffee, proving her point. "And you say that you have hearts beside your name. I don't think that's a coincidence," she pointed out with a mischievous smile as she smacked your side.
"No, how can it be? He can't even spell my name right," you shook your head, but you had to admit that you were less sure about being just an ordinary customer for the boy. Could it be that he liked you? No, no way. He was just so cool, friendly, easy-going and still caring, he must have liked similarly cool girls. Not that you had low self-esteem, it's just that you were more on the introverted side, you were sometimes searching for the right words to say, and you were blushing so hard whenever he complimented you, it was wild to imagine that he might like someone like you.
"Well, maybe he's doing it on purpose," Yoojung mused out loud, resting her head on her arms propped up on a pile of books. With her, a study session never stayed just a study session, and ever since you dared to bring up Yeonjun in your conversations, she was always waiting for the updates.
"What purpose?"
"I don't know. I don't get boys."
"But you have a boyfriend," you pointed out, and Yoojung couldn't help but laugh. Him and Hendery getting together was one of the surprises of last semester, but it's not like you couldn't see the sparks. It's just that your best friend was in denial about her feelings towards him, and she couldn't take the boy seriously either.
"Hendery is a different species," she rolled her eyes yet it was in an affectionate way, and there was a certain degree of gentleness in her tone.
"Anyways, let's get back to game theory," you suggested as you flipped a page in your textbook. Your best friend grunted in response.
"Aaah, your cute barista is waaaaay more interesting than game theory."
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The next time you went to the café, you tried to see if something was different in the way Yeonjun acted with others and with you. However, due to the early hour, there was only a businessman in his 50s in front of you in the queue, and he didn't flirt with the man.
"Hey there, my favourite customer!" He greeted you gleefully though, and already got a plastic cup ready.
"Whose name you still can't spell right," you teased, but there was a smile in the corner of your lips. Yeonjun faked being hurt by your words and theatrically placed a hand over his heart.
"You're still my favourite customer though."
"Alright. I guess that counts."
"It does. Not even my friends can have this title," he explained with a mischievous smile as he leaned forward, lowering his voice as if it was a secret. Though you knew all too well that some of his friends didn't even drink coffee, there were some who attended universities far away from his workplace and the others didn't frequent the café as much as you did.
"Anyways, I'll take the usual," you let him know, trying to shush Yoojung's voice in your head.
"Cool. We have a buy one, get one free discount today, so you can have two. Will you take the same for the second?"
"Well, what's your favourite drink here?" You inquired, genuinely curious. It was no surprise that he already knew your order by heart because you ordered the same pretty much every single time you came here (even on days it wasn't his shift in the morning, but the other baristas didn't know your favourite order like he did). So you were actually interested in his preference.
"Hmm I like iced lattes, but it's getting colder these days, so I usually go for a caramel frappuccino with lots of whipped cream," he explained in his usual enthusiastic voice, and the simple joy of talking about his favourite drink (or rather, you asking about it) made you smile widely.
"Then, make me one of your recent favourite drinks," you decided, and he giddily got started on it while asking about your tests coming up. Winter break was only a few weeks away, so you had a lot of studying to do for your exams, but by waking up early and going to the library to study, you were already working on it.
When you got your order, both of the cups had your name misspelled, but both of the cups had little hearts on them, too. You cracked a smile before taking your usual order and pointing at the other one:
"It's for you. Hope you have a great day!" You wished with a wide smile, and before Yeonjun could protest, you were already outside of the café. Through the windows though, you could see the boy's face lighting up as he reached for the drink and took a sip from it, content.
Well, he always made your days, so it was time to pay him back.
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Yoojung, as expected, faked gagging at your gesture towards the boy, but it seemed so right in the moment. Not to mention that your best friend was even more sure by now that the boy liked you, but you weren't that sure, and it would be awkward if you misread the signs because you were such a frequent visitor at the café.
However, as you neared winter break, and you talked about going home for the holidays, you couldn't help but notice Yeonjun's lips curling downwards. You asked if he was working during the winter break since you knew that he was from around here, and he said that he was off for one whole week, but he would get back to work afterwards.
"I might be meeting friends here in early January, so I might come by," you blurted out, and it seemed like such an unnecessary piece of information that you almost told him to forget about it. However, seeing the boy's bright eyes and insanely wide smile, you didn't mind doing so.
"Really? That's cool. I'll be here anyway, you know," he tried to shrug it off coolly, but he was fighting contentment painting his lips. He looked so happy, your heart did little somersaults at the sight.
"Can't let your favourite customer miss out on coming by for weeks," you joked around, and he joined you.
"Can't let you not have your daily dose of Choi Yeonjun," he winked at you before he turned around to reach for the milk bag, but as he was pouring it into your cup, he looked up, suddenly alarmed. "Wait, is this your last day before going home then?"
"Yeah, actually, it is," you nodded, and suddenly, you realised that you didn't know what to say or do. It's not a goodbye after all, is it? However, you were coming here almost every single day for the past few months, and Yeonjun had become such a solid part of your days that you had a feeling that you would miss this, that you would miss him.
"Oh, I see," Yeonjun mumbled, uncharacteristically solemn. You got a message on your phone at this time, so you looked at it, writing back to one of your group project partners, telling her that you would be at the library in 15 minutes.
When you put your phone back into your coat's pocket and you reached for your drink, you automatically took a sip of it. You let out a content hum and Yeonjun smiled affectionately.
"Merry Christmas! Don't miss me too much," he winked at you, dissolving the earlier serious atmosphere, and you smiled back at him, thankful and a bit bashful, too.
"Merry Christmas, Yeonjun!" You wished, albeit a bit bittersweet, and there was an odd feeling taking over you as you made your way outside of the café.
As you lifted the cup to your mouth, you noticed more words than just your name on the side of the cup, and you halted in your steps to get a full view of it.
"It's my number in case you miss me too much, y/n!
P.S.: I know your name, I just wanted to have a reason at all times to talk to you"
Smiling, you immediately typed the number into your phone, sending Yeonjun a message. He replied almost instantly, teasing you if you already missed him. To which, you said that maybe you did.
After that, there was nothing that could put an end to your texts, and soon enough, you found yourself on a date with him in January because Yoojung was right; Yeonjun truly did misspelled your name on purpose.
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A/N: Merry Christmas, everyone! Even if you don’t celebrate it or don’t enjoy this time of the year for whatever reason, I hope this story could bring you some joy.  ❤️
If you’re interested in more of my stories, consider signing up for my taglist HERE.
Thank you so much for reading this story of mine! It means a lot to me. ❤️
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ma1dita · 5 months
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'en route' - i. imaginary friend
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pictures are not mine, 3rd is a photo concept by @geloyconcepcion on ig
read along here (will update) : part ii, part iii, part iv
song of the chapter: revolution 0 by boygenius
en route playlist: here
words: 3.9k
summary: pt ¼ of ‘en route’. You and James are kindred spirits. Fighting in the First Wizarding War just seems to be your only escape.
warnings: no use of y/n, religious iconography sprinkled here and there, depictions of loss/war, angst, unhappy(?) marriage, fake marriage, twin flames vibe, they’re just kids they should be at the club bro
a/n: setting the scene is always so hard LOL. i love writing morally grey characters, please feel free to comment if you want to be added onto the taglist, or scream at me <3 thanks for the patience, you won’t have to wait as long for the next part lol
(posted 12/28/23, might come back to edit)
END OF MARCH 1980
There’s not a lot of things you like to remember about the year 1980. The memories blur together, highly repressed in a busy corner of your mind, and if someone held you at wandpoint to ask about what happened, you’re not sure where to begin. You don’t talk about it much anymore, but if you did, it wouldn’t be sufficient to put it in a few simple words.
And maybe if you did, the remembering wouldn’t hurt as much. With little physical things to hang onto, however—holding onto this hurt reminds you it was real.
From what you can remember anyway, it all started on his birthday.
You felt eyes on you as soon as you stormed into the room. In this congregation of people trying to save the world, it was easy to feel unseen in your struggles to keep moving forward. A pair of kaleidoscope eyes meet yours for a small moment, and that’s when you knew it was risky. It’s easy to hide in a crowd of Aurors enjoying the reprieve from the reality of the world outside of headquarters’ protected doors, fading into the background.
But he saw you, and that was terrifying–to be perceived.
Frank Longbottom pours you a pint, and you nod your head in thanks, taking a long sip before settling down into a chair at the bar. The same pair of eyes see through you, past your hunched frame, down to the core of your grief. Something about it resonates with him deeply, and the boys notice his attention is away from the conversation they’re having in the living room.
“She's pretty, yeah? French, I think. Never says more than a few words to anyone though, I tried. All business,” Sirius mumbles to his best friend over a glass of firewhiskey.
James looks up at Sirius from his position in the armchair, his head tilted to one side in curiosity at the way you fold into yourself.
"Yeah, I guess," James replies reluctantly. "I've never properly spoken to her, but I can tell she's very... mellow."
“Heard she lost people. The war hasn't been kind to her like it has to a lot of us. Don't know if she'll budge, Prongs. Some pages are best left unturned,” Remus says, shuffling a deck of cards between his scarred fingers. Sirius grunts in response, not caring for the conversation as he takes another sip of his drink.
James knows now what he recognizes within you. Grief has been looming over him too, latched onto his spine, weighing him down as the responsibilities grow by the day. His eyes flicker to his wife’s baby bump as she stands near the window laughing at something Marlene and Peter were acting out. Lily falling pregnant was his sign to get his shit together, because if he didn’t, who would?
Like a shadow, you shy away from the light and laughter that fills the room. But there was no escape once he started walking in your direction. There was no grandiose introduction, no heart-stopping, earth-shattering moment. Both consumed by grief unseen by most, two people sat at the bar in silent reverence of each other’s breathing, daring the other to say something.
“Didn’t know I was crashing your birthday Potter. Seems I don't have a gift,” you say suddenly, words rushing out as your eyes trace his profile.
A beat passes.
His head bobs up and for a second you think you’ve said the wrong thing until you realize he’s smiling. He looks up grinning like the devil, eyes meeting yours with a smile you could only describe as radiant. It stirs something deep within you, and you watch your hands reach toward your butterbeer to avoid his searing gaze.
“Terrible time to have a party anyway. I think it’s more for them than it is for me.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” you scoff lightly, and his head jerks towards you as you continue, “You’re a bit too happy for my liking.”
“Oh?” His body turns to follow, knees bumping against yours under the bartop.
“How come you know so much about me then? You don’t give any of us a chance with you.”
James says this jokingly, but a part of it rings true like a punch in the gut. You were so impressionable, left soft and malleable by the grief that became you that you found it quite infuriating that someone like him could be so happy in the middle of a war like this one.
A noise of acknowledgement leaves your throat and he watches your fingers clench around the glass. Too much? Change the subject.
“What’s the ‘T’ necklace you have on?”
The chain swings against your chest as you adjust yourself on the barstool, becoming aware of the weight of it.
“What?”
“What does it mean? Must be important to you, whoever this fellow is. See you wear it every day,” he says adamantly, before backtracking and realizing how stalkerish that sounds.
“Potter, have you never met a Christian?” Your eyes dart between him and his hands on the bartop, more glaringly, the platinum wedding band on his left hand. Surely, anything should be more interesting than conversing with a stranger at his own party.
“A who? Who’s Christian? Are you?”
The beginning of a smile breaks onto your face like daybreak. It’s refreshing, he thinks. He doesn’t think he’s made someone smile like that in a while.
“You idi–,” you exhale, “It’s not… Muggles don’t have magic like us, so they have belief systems. Higher power they believe in. Weren’t you Head Boy at Hogwarts, how did you pass Muggle Studies?”
“Elective. Do you believe in that stuff? God and what not?”
Your calf brushes his pant leg accidentally. Why can’t you stop fidgeting? He makes you nervous, all these questions, and then you blurt your response out in rapid succession that he’s almost unable to catch it.
“No. Maybe. My parents did, and God was important to them, so I wear this necklace because of it. They’re important to me. I used to before I found out I was a witch. Used to pray that God would save me, make me something other than mundane—well, here I am now. Not quite sure if he heard me.”
It hits you that the last time you’ve been able to speak about your parents like this was at their funeral two months back. Right before you joined the Order, and sitting here in front of James suddenly feels stifling. You roll your jacket sleeves up, hyperaware that he’s watching your every move.
He keeps his tone light, but the smile on his face is kind as he mutters, “You think some bloke up top is calling all the shots for everyone?” James says this without judgment and your breath quivers.
“I don’t know, but I think things happen for a reason. I’m still trying to find out what that exactly is.”
His pinky nudges yours on the sticky bartop, and his glasses slide down the bridge of his nose as he tilts his head in thought.
“Did. Is the believing past tense?”
You’re not sure what’s changed in the past few minutes that’s made you comfortable in his presence, but you crack a joke before you think too hard.
“My parents are. Past tense.”
Laughter spills out of you like the bubbles on your refilled pint glass, and James scrunches his face, holding back until his shoulders are shaking from the effort.
“Merlin….yeah. Mine too.”
Oh.
You look at him through your eyelashes, silence filling the space between you two as the rest of the party goes on in the background. James clinks his glass with yours, and there’s a silent understanding that bridges between you, connecting you together.
END OF APRIL 1980
“You know if we’re gonna be friends, you should probably call me James.”
The two of you were left sitting in the den to deliberate on the mission you were being sent at the end of this week. Three whole months with James Potter could be a nightmare. But it could also be quite fun, you think, watching him flick through the mission files with a quirk in his lip that can only signal mischief. Signing away your life wouldn’t be so bad if you had him to keep you company. You’d never tell him that though.
“Will we be? You don’t seem that excited.”
“Excited to be shipped away from everyone we know is definitely a statement, love.”
“I’m not eager if that’s what you’re insinuating. Just feel obligated, especially if it helps the cause. That’s why you’re here, right?” Right. In a war like this one, ordinary people like you and him pay the highest price. But nothing seemed ordinary about you, like a complex puzzle he was constantly wracking his brain to figure out. There are aspects of your personality that come to light the more he talks to you over these past few weeks, almost luring him in so he can unveil the secrets you hold. Why do you put yourself on the front lines like this, mission after mission? Who do you have in your life that makes you want to fight against the odds? What do you think of to keep you going? Why can’t he stop thinking about you?
He blinks, before looking at you, “S’not that I don’t want to go with you, and do my duty, I just…”
“You love it. I can see it in your eyes, you were trouble at school, weren’t you?” James’ smile gets wider, thinking back to the last few years, before everything went to shit. Back when it was easier, just him and his three friends, and his biggest worry was getting Lily Evans to look at him.
“Just a lot to worry about. People to take care of.” His mind falls back to his wife sitting at home, probably wondering why he isn’t back from the Order meeting, getting more agitated by the minute. He thinks of the nursery he still needs to set up, and the legal affairs he’s left behind after his parents’ death. He thinks of checking in on his boys, who barely know how to take care of themselves if they don’t come over for dinner, and finally, he exhales.
“You?“
It’s an honest question, and by asking it, he extends himself to you, an insight into the burdens he carries with him daily. The difficulty and complexity of having a large capacity to love is carrying the weight until you cannot.
“Just me and my rucksack. Gives me something to do.” You give him a tight-lipped smile, busying yourself with packing the supplies Dumbledore gave you two earlier. Vials of Polyjuice Potion, two golden wedding bands, magically enhanced IDs— it was like playing pretend. That’s all this has to be. Easy enough.
James looks at you and understands a bit more. You need this job. And if he’s being honest, so does he.
“I still wonder what would happen if it doesn’t work out, don’t get me wrong. But then I think, what if it does? What if no one else has to die?” A noise of agreement rises from his throat as he straightens his posture on the couch.
War shouldn’t be an escape, much less a distraction to two people grieving. There are countless muggles and wizards alike losing their lives to a genocide of people undeserving of a fate dictated by a person who plays god. But when you’re fighting for your life before you can even legally drink in some countries, there are two things left to consider when making a decision: to choose something difficult or to choose wrong.
And neither of you have ever found anything easy. Not in this life at least.
He sighs. James really needs to get home.
“Well…We will be friends by the end of this. I’m sure. Already gonna be married to you anyways,” he jokes.
“Don’t get used to it, what a pity that would be for your ego,” you gripe, but a trace of amusement is present on your lips as you watch him stand up to leave.
“We’ll see about that, love.”
He apparates home. Onto the next difficult thing.
When James told Lily that he’d be on a mission for the latter half of her pregnancy, she didn’t take it well. But to be honest, with everything going on, James couldn’t help but feel exasperated. How bad is his marriage that he’d rather risk his life instead of tending to his family’s needs? James sits at the dining table listening to her yell, and he feels extra heavy today, wondering how he feels so ancient at 20 years old.
Years ago he dreamed of this, a wife, kids, a pretty townhouse. But this isn’t what he quite imagined. He looks at his wife as she paces around the room, hand on her bump, red hair spreading little fires as she goes. She’s his everything. Truly. He spent years trying to even find that spark in her, dedicated his life to her, and gave up everything to take care of her—but she struggled a lot these past few months. Her pregnancy brought on incendiary words falling upon him like lashes as she blamed him for moving too quickly. Blamed him for the fact they’ve felt like strangers in this little house. But with his parents both sick, getting married seemed like the next right thing.
An owl flits to his kitchen window once Lily storms out again, leaving nothing but ashes of her disappointment in her wake. Ashes, ashes… James wonders where his spark has gone. He hates to disappoint.
Just wanted to owl and check in. I found myself thinking about you and wanted to make sure you’re okay, with everything changing so quickly. Hope you and your wife figure it out, I’ll be on the 11 AM Knight Bus tomorrow outside Diagon Alley regardless. See you.
He thinks of you, so brave and filled with a spark he used to recognize within himself. This isn’t wrong, he reasons, just difficult. But he won’t admit that taking his wedding band off before settling onto the couch was easier than he thought it would be. He feels lighter. As he takes off his glasses and stares at the ceiling of his living room that night, James wonders how much longer he can ignore his problems by not looking at them properly. How much longer does he have to carry the weight? When will someone help him carry the load?
For now, he tries to sleep. One step at a time, James. Like always. There’s a mission he has to start tomorrow. And he doesn’t want to disappoint you.
You’re not surprised when he turns up to your meeting point the next morning, not addressing him when you stick your wand hand out to summon the bus. He bites back a smile, knowing you were right and thinking you see right through him. Now look who’s the eager one.
After paying eleven sickles each, you lead him to a window seat, ignoring the babbles of other passengers as you look out the window.
“You ever think about all these people, with their little lives and everything they have to do?” you pipe up, head against the glass. James scoffs, “I always think about other people. Sometimes I wonder if anyone thinks of me like that. If anyone worries as you do over strangers.”
“I thought we were friends,” you say coyly, still not looking at him, and his heart skips a beat. Probably nerves. “You think Dumbledore cares that he’s sending off two teenagers to fight a war and save the wizarding world?”
“I’m an adult, thank you very much.”
“We’re kids, James,” You look at him, and he blinks at the sound of his given name falling from your lips that he almost loses the next part of your sentence, “we’re kids working towards a bigger picture of world peace. Isn’t that fucking insane that this what our lives amount to?”
He couldn’t agree more, but his forehead creases at your tone.
“Why do you act like your best years are behind you? There’s a lot to live for still,” he murmurs knowingly.
He pats your thigh and the only thing you notice is the tan of his hand against his missing wedding band. Soon it will be replaced by one that binds him to you, temporarily, but it’s jarring all the same. You shake off the uneasy feeling that rises in your stomach.
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.”
James is doing that thing again, the whole savior complex bit that you notice is one and the same with his trying hard to be carefree personality. But you’re coming to learn that James cares. A lot.
“Apartment 11B?”
“Uh, yeah.”
Two swigs of Polyjuice Potion did the job once you stepped off the bus and walked through town to the place you’ll inhabit for a fourth of the year, and quickly, you both become unrecognizable to even each other. A blonde eyebrow looks at you under James’ glasses at your hesitation, so you clear your throat.
“For Mr. and Mrs. Fawley. We just got married, you see. Newlywed jitters.” His voice is lighter and more posh as his hand reaches out to rest on your shoulder.
“Hmm, yes. Harry—er…Henrietta and Draco–” the receptionist squints at her paper, and you sigh at how pretentious the names sound together. Not in this life. You ought to wring Alice’s neck. That girl loves to make stories, and the more frilly your personas she created, the more difficult it’ll be to upkeep.
“No need, Etta and Drake are fine, love,” you say with a more confident grin, leaning against your faux husband.
The keys slide across the countertop, and you walk to the elevator, hand in hand until you’re out of sight. As you approach the door, James crouches a bit and puts his hands on his knees.
“What are you doing?”
“Jump up. Gotta carry you over the threshold.”
“Shut up, Drake,” reminding yourself to use his false name in case someone’s watching, but he looks at you with a shit-eating grin.
“Exactly. Just in case. Come on, just indulge me.” You shake your head in disbelief but hop onto his back all the same. Not exactly traditional, but it stirs up a feeling in you that you haven’t felt before. He carries you through the doorway and spins you once, twice, three times before you squeal and he giggles, placing you gently onto the sofa. It’s a cozy apartment with enough space for the two of you, cream walls, and a small kitchen with an island overlooking the entertaining space. The hallway leads to what you presume is the only bedroom, and there’s a nervous energy that sifts through the air as you both place protective charms everywhere, to ward off prying eyes and ears. How intimate. James falls back onto the sofa with a huff, sitting next to you, and both of you are unsure of what to say.
“I can take the sofa,” he says into the silence, and you turn to look at him incredulously.
‘For three months? James, I can't ask you to do that.”
“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”
“You’re gonna be hunched over by the end of the week. What if we rotate?”
There’s no disagreement, feeling the springs in the cushion beneath your bottoms already. James perks up, leaning over to grab something from his bag, and by the time he leans back up, he looks like himself again, the small dose of Polyjuice wearing off. You can feel your hair go back to its original shade and texture, and he smiles wider when he sees your face.
“Look what I got. Remus gave it to me back at Hogwarts but I never really used up all the film. Thought we could take some pictures and look back on this one day.” It’s sweet, how he loves his friends like they’re an extension of himself. You reckon you don't have anyone like that, smiling at him fumbling with the tiny camera in his hands.
“It’ll take a while to develop. Gotta keep it safe if we’re making it out of this,” you say, taking it from him and throwing yourself back onto the backrest leaning against him to point and shoot one of yourselves in this moment, disheveled and domestic. The flash goes off and he looks like a deer in headlights, making you cackle.
“You miss them?” He’s not sure who you’re referring to, so he rattles on anyway. He loves talking about the people he loves.
“The boys…Just miss being kids at Hogwarts, y’know? The end of the world back then was not getting enough O’s on NEWTs. You?”
“Mhm. None of them are in Britain though. They came for my parents’ funeral, and they always say they’ll visit but…That’s my fault too, I guess.” You tuck your leg underneath you, turning to face him, and he’s cuddled up against a throw pillow.
“Your parents were awesome. Didn’t know them well besides your dad being in the Order and stuff, but they were really brave. Your mom hugged me at my parents’ burial and I think that was the first time I let myself cry after they died. That’s one of the few things I remember from that day.”
A breath of air escapes your lungs at his anecdote. It’s been a few months since they passed but you’ll never stop missing them.
“I don’t remember a lot from theirs either. It’s all kind of been a blur since. I think I remember you and Sirius smoking in the back and him offering me a cigarette.” He laughs silently at the memory of his best friend.
“No one ever talks about how much there is to do after your parents die,” he says, and you roar with agreement.
“Yes! I’m still battling out their assets in court! It’s difficult to live life alone, thinking they’ve set you up for the future, but feeling like a rug’s been pulled out from underneath you. I just wish…They left this world together, y’know? And that’s great, but sometimes I feel selfish wondering what will happen to me.”
James nods slowly, taking your words in. He’s never had anyone to talk about this with, people pitying him instead, or acting like it didn’t matter, but it’s been almost a year and he can’t go to bed without thinking about how his parents died a week apart because even in death, they couldn’t be away for long. James wonders if you’ve noticed that he hasn’t talked about missing his wife, and the selfishness you mentioned prods at him. He smiles grimly, and takes the ring box from your bag, asking for your hand.
“Hey. You’re never gonna be alone again, alright? Not if it’s up to me.”
You roll your eyes as he flips the cover open, revealing the two gold bands, yours with a sizable diamond in the center.
“Do you think I’d give you that much power over me, James? This is all fake.”
“Fake marriage, but a true promise. I think you might, eventually.”
He slides the ring onto your left ring finger, sealing it with a gentle kiss on the back of your hand.
“The first time you caught my eye it was not love at first sight. Instead, a quiet curiosity was planted in my chest and I knew it was only a matter of time before you sunk beneath my bones and nurtured this deep-seated familiarity into a love so fierce that I would question if I had ever been in love before.” - Lyra Wren
general taglist: @jsjcue
en route taglist: @xcinnamonmalfoyx @babyclea @idkman5335 @timhalamet @ttulipwritezz @lilylovesu @thatonedogwithablog @lovemerigt
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The five love languages - Mr Blue Sky’s up there waiting!
Starring: Percy Jackson x fem!reader
Soundtrack: Mr Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra, Out of my League - Fitz and the tantrums, Somebody to Love - Queen
Warnings: swearing like once? I think you’ll live, random ass soundtrack
Enjoy the movie! 🎬
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Physical touch:
This man love physical touch
Loves it, lives it, breaths it
Constantly has a pinky linked, a hand held, a hand on your hip, the small of your back…
Loves to see your smile when he hugs you and spins you around
Get used to it, he does it every five seconds 🫶
Kisses
Not even on the mouth
But he will never kiss you on the lips if your asleep/half asleep no matter if you tell him it’s ok
He feels like it’s wrong even if you don’t mind
So if you’re falling asleep be prepared for kisses just at the corner of your mouth
Or on your cheek maybe a cheeky one on the temple y’know mix it up a bit
Loves when you have your head on his shoulder
It means he can either put his arm around you or have your hand in his
Just loves being close to you in general
When you sneak into his cabin/he sneaks into yours he either likes to have his head on your chest or spoon (I gagged writing that last option I can’t lie)
Doesn’t mind if he’s holding you or the other way around but depending on the day he’s had he just likes to be held
Acts of Service:
He once cleaned your weapon for you cause you mentioned in passing that you couldn’t be bothered
You went to clean it and it was shimmering and sparkling
Loves just doing random things for you
“Oh I was meaning to pick up those books”
They are up and on the shelf the minute you step out the room
“I can’t be bothered making my bed.”
The second you are in the shower the bed is actively being made, pillows are being fluffed and the duvet is being aggressively smoothed
It’s shocking just how many things you don’t like doing he remembers
He knows you hate doing the dishes so if you get put on dishes duty he’ll ask Chiron to either swap with you or the other person doing it with you
When you visit your home town he loves watching you work if you have a job
Loves making dinner for you
Helps your mortal parent with things around the house without them needing to ask
Feels bad if he’s made a mess and you offer to clean up and goes ultra fast to even get half of it clean for you
(He spilt half a glass of water)
Gift giving:
Goes all out on your birthday
You mentioned you wanted something like 3 months ago? It’s been in a notebook ever since
Studies what you have and if your running low on your fav perfume he notices immediately and buys you either a refill or a new one
Loves making playlists or cassette tapes for when you’re apart
Adds random songs that remind him of you or he just likes and wants you to listen to
My love languages are mainly acts of service and physical touch so they’re gonna be longer but I feel like this is so short
You say you like a shirt/something in his wardrobe?
It’s now in yours
The next time you are in your cabin it’s magically found its way into your wardrobe/dresser
Words of affirmation:
Constantly tells you he loves you
Says it so much people start second guessing whether he means it or is just saying it
You can tell he means it just as much as the first time he said it
If you get new clothes then he’s immediately saying how good you look in them or you will look it in them
The first time he saw you in a swimsuit he was staring so hard (and respectfully 😘) that he didn’t even need to say something for you to start blushing
And giggling
He loves this one
He naturally uses all the languages daily but words of affirmation?
Abuses the shit out of compliments that again people start second guessing him
Reassured you all the time with a little squeeze of the hand
“Look, you’re perfect, you can do this, everyone knows you can, baby.”
OH THATS ANOTHER ONE
Petnamesssss
Has so many of them stock piled
Some are sarcastic and some are disguised as sarcastic if you laugh at him
Called you his little starfish when you were hugging him and not letting him go once
Not even words of affirmation just had to put it out there
Quality time:
This is so overused but 👏under👏water👏
Loves hanging out with you underwater
Its his little area that no one can really bother him in so when he took you down with him one time you were so happy
Time in his cabin when your both just sitting in silence, hands intertwined as he places a kiss to the top of your head every now and then
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHHDJSJDD
Sorry, anyway
Loves sitting the silence with you, just knowing you’re there
Has Iris Messaged or called you on multiple occasions while you’re apart and just sat there no matter how much it cost him
Picnic dates are his specialty
Even if it’s in Sally and Paul’s place or some random forest spot at camp he has a blanket set up and a basket
This classes as physical touch as well but just holding you
Mainly in his cabin, just lying on his bed and holding you or you holding him
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Director’s note: OMG ELISE POSTING ACTUAL WRITING?? Unheard of honestly. Started like ten fics cause I had ideas but then I started thinking I was gonna kms if I tried writing an actual story so I decided I would do some headcanons so I wouldn’t cry 🫶🫶 anyway it’s kinda shit cause gift giving isn’t my main form of showing my love and it’s not really any of my family/friends so I had nothing to really go off of but this was done in like a day so I hope it’s not as shite as I think it is
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zushimart · 7 months
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crossed wires, ch.2. m!spiderman!reader x civilian!scara. friends to lovers, childhood friends. 2.6k words. warnings: a car almost hits someone, no one is hurt. read ch.1/the teaser here. and remember to leave feedback if you enjoyed!
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there’s quiet chatter in the blindingly bright classroom of his morning lecture. the professor is filing through papers in his office a room over, so students are free to flit from one table to the next and examine the different instruments organized for the laboratory.
he takes a seat in the chair at a table farthest from the door, a good distance from the board. it used to be an issue – just last year he was squinting to make out little letters on a powerpoint slide – but now, his gaze is crystal clear. must’ve gone to the campus café together, he notices, eyes glancing at the neighboring table of pre-med sorority girls sipping through straws while trading their phones around.
“i don’t think i’d be into him if i could see his face,” one says, passing a phone back. “like, not to sound shallow…”
her friend pulls her hair back into a pony, shrugging, “so what if you can or can’t see his face? either way, he’s still spiderman.”
“what if he’s bald?” the third one asks, scrolling to another video of the hero taken from the night before.
“some bald people are cute!” the other girl protests. “and he’s better than anyone on your roster,” she says, earning a laugh and a smack to her shoulder.
and despite them paying him no mind, he shrinks into his seat, embarrassed. he keeps an eye and an ear out, though, unable to staunch his own curiosity. he hadn’t had time this morning to see the videos the public managed to catch. the haphazard stop of a grand theft auto almost escalated into a sticky car chase with him attached to the trunk, flying in the wind like a piece of paper.
“i would let him,” the first girl admits. “unless he’s like, over forty.”
“that would make it even better,” one of them giggles.
“what are you staring at?” a familiar voice cuts through his eavesdropping and he tilts his head to the side just before scara can shove him forward, evading the playful blow. “how do you always manage to do that?”
“‘cause i know you so well,” he says, not looking up. “good morning, scara.”
“yeah, hey,” scara mumbles while pulling out the seat beside him. “signora texted me this morning saying she’s using one of her free skips and childe’s traveling for a varsity game.”
“so… we’re alone?” he tries not to sound too excited.
“for lecture and lab, yeah. it’s in pairs anyway. they’ll have to make it up together.”
a yelp from the table over startles them both as one of the girls fights her friends for her phone back in a fit of giggles. he tears his eyes away from them and looks to scara, pulling out materials for class.
“hey…” he bids and scara hums expectantly. “how do you feel about spiderman?” he rubs the back of his neck. “i heard them talking about him earlier…”
scara raises an eyebrow. “what about him?”
“like,” he blows air, “would you consider yourself like, i dunno, a fan?”
“do you?”
he chews his lip. “i-i guess?”
scara nods slowly and shrugs. “hmn.”
“what?”
“don’t really have an opinion. i haven’t thought about it.” scara’s pause stretches into seconds before he opens his mouth again. he likes to make people wait for him. “i guess if it’s one guy… it’s nice that he can protect people from like… i dunno, freak evil scientist shit,” scara says. “vigilante shit is weird. i’ll think about it more.”
“mn. i didn’t really mean morally,” he says, twisting the string of his hoodie around his finger.
“then how did you mean it?” scara asks, tapping the tip of his capped pen against his lips.
“do you think he’s… like…” he asks. “you know…”
scara’s lip puckers like he’s tasted something sour. “are you into him?” he asks like lightning.
“i asked first.”
“i haven’t looked hard enough.”
“fine, then me neither.”
scara laughs, crossing his arms. “yeah right, you’ve totally got spiderman underwear, maybe some toys to match,” he says, rolling his eyes.
“i do not!” his voice cracks with indignation. “he’s not my type at all.”
embers burn in scara’s heart, pumping hot blood to his face and turning it pink. he props his chin up with his hand, head firmly turned. “and what’s your type?” he mumbles, muffled through his fingers.
but the professor strides into the room. the chatter stalls as he readies his powerpoint and podium before staring expectantly at the clock to strike eight on the dot. textbooks slam onto the table, laptops open, pens and pencils hit paper – their conversation lost in biology.
~
he hands scara a pair of forceps, opening and closing his mouth like a fish while a question bounces around his mind a few times.
“you look stupid,” scara says, catching him in the periphery.
“i like people smarter than me,” he blurts. “a-and… mean to me. what do you like?”
scara blinks.
“still on this?” he asks, blasé concealing how his hands falter.
“don’t squeeze too hard,” his labmate says with his way of twisting a command into the whisper of a suggestion. at anyone else’s correction, irritation would pickle scara’s mood.
“are those your only qualifications?” scara snaps.
he blinks. “should i have more?”
“lots of girls are smarter than you,” he points out. “your iq’s not anything special, anyway.”
“i said people?”
“what?”
“i said people smarter than me,” he says.
scara swallows hard, looking up to meet confusion written in those eyes. “oh.” he mumbles, heart slamming uncomfortably hard against his ribcage. “…then even more people are smarter than you.”
“but not a lot of people are mean to me,” he points out, reaching over to turn the burner off before their solution bubbles over. “not like it makes a difference, anyway,” he says with a decorative smile. “because maybe the people mean to me aren’t very smart at all.”
if he didn’t know any better, scara might think he was flirting. “maybe,” he blurts, nervousness ballooning in his throat.
“so, you didn’t know?”
“know what?” he snaps, blush blooming.
“people not girls.”
“you don’t talk about it,” scara points out. “you’re secretive about… that.” he always has been, dodging truth or dare at middle school sleepovers and avoiding drinking games at high school parties like he’s afraid he’ll admit something or kiss the wrong person.
“so, you thought i was off the table?” he teases with a half-smile.
well, yeah. scara’s only ever seen him with a girl before. he remembers, the colors still vibrant and the shapes still sharp, unlocking their cramped first-year dorm without warning only to catch him tussling teeth and tongue with his half-sister, mona. scara’s mouth twitches into the ghost of a grimace in the wake of the resurfaced memory.
this time, scara successfully pushes him away, but he’s giggling as he takes stumbling steps back.
he can’t deny how revolutionary the admission is. they’d somehow veered into a timeline where the weed of affection growing a woody stem in scara’s stomach could blossom. maybe he could even pluck it as it grows up his throat and hand it to the boy next to him. and maybe he wouldn’t sneer. maybe he might quite like it, think it nice and keep it in a vase.
a part of scara hopes he might have a type. that type. smarter than him, sure. mean to him, of course. with dark hair, blunt bangs, and maybe… ugh.
“i can’t believe you kissed my sister,” scara mutters under his breath.
“i-i, what? where is this coming from?” he squeaks back, throwing a pair of hands into the air. “that was, like, years ago and it— you know what? you keep dodging my questions,” he accuses.
scara rolls his eyes, scissors slicing fine white lines of paper into test strips.
“so, what kind of people do you like?”
“i like guys dumber than me, obviously,” scara mumbles. nice to me, he thinks to himself. “maybe someone funny. i don’t know.”
and this time, in his periphery, he catches sight of a bit back smile, lips stretched over hidden teeth. “spiderman’s your type, then?”
“i wouldn’t know,” scara grumbles at the reintroduction. like the arrival of a rival, he bitterly reflects. “maybe he’s yours. i don’t care for celebrities.”
“fine,” he draws out the syllable, almost annoyed. a hand pushes scara’s shoulder as he dips the test strips into the solution, knocking him a step to the left and interrupting his ministrations. pressure builds like steam in the teakettle of scara’s little body, but before he can open his mouth to admonish, his labmate is staring at his phone.
“gotta use the bathroom. might take awhile. feels explosive,” he mumbles, body moving to catch up with how faraway his mind has already run. like a flash, it happened.
and scara grabs his wrist before he can take a second step.
“you’re lying,” he says, eyes a little wide as if he’s surprised with himself… surprised by the motion sickness surging from the unpredictable swings between giddy excitement to sharp frustration to sluggish disappointment.
the boy looks from scara’s hold, tight enough to cut off circulation, to his eyes. surprise mirrors surprise. his mouth opens, but this time, nothing comes out.
scara looks away. he pulls away. he makes himself smaller. “whatever. just go. fuck off.”
he walks away without a word.
~
he sips from a juicebox while mentally mapping his patrol route for the rainy afternoon on his walk home from classes. he couldn’t make it back from the corner store robbery before the end of biology and he winces when he remembers the look on scara’s face. guilty conscience manipulates his fingers into sending another apology text that’s delivered but never read. maybe if he finishes the report before scara opens the document, his haughty prince will forgive him.
muscle memory takes him up a staircase, fingers fishing a ring of keys from his pocket to unlock a heavy 19th century door. it swings open on rusty hinges, screaming loud enough to inspire ghost stories at least three floors down. he gives a tentative hello to his aunt, smoke billowing from the kitchen as may disassembles the beeping alarm dangling from the ceiling. she gives him an apologetic smile and he rolls up his sleeves to open rusted-shut windows, fanning for a moment before she shoos his help away.
he holes up in his bedroom, keeping a careful ear listening till minutes later, like clockwork, he hears a goodbye followed by the heavy door swinging closed with another awful groan. after double-checking the stove to avoid another building fire, he’s ready to exit.
patrol is slow. between stopping a simple collision and rescuing a cat from a tree, nothing calls his immediate attention. and now, he sits in wait. the sky looks heavy, but not exhausted — just tired enough to droop. he blinks rain from the eyes of his mask, thinking to himself how useful it might be to have doc ock’s personal phone number so the guy could shoot him a text when he’s on the move. until he catches sight of an achingly pretty face amongst a sea of multi-colored umbrellas.
it isn’t stalking, he thinks to himself as he sticks close to the wall across the narrow street, unspotted by pedestrians below. just curiosity. making sure he’s safe. scara disappears into a flower shop. a few minutes later, he blossoms from the door holding a small bouquet of baby’s breath and a single carnation, eyes glued to his phone as he takes a stumbling step forward onto the sidewalk.
he smiles, a big tenderness swelling in his chest as he imagines himself wrapping an arm around scara’s shoulders to steady his gait.
until there’s an eerie tingle singing up the back of his neck.
the sound of a taxi hitting the brakes after a sharp turn echoes between buildings. tires hydroplane across slick city streets and the yellow cab hurtles over the curb like a speed bump, giving scara a single second between looking up and being hit by two tons of metal.
webs have shot out and stuck to the back of the car. the force of his superhuman pull, leveraged by swinging around a telephone pole and a streetlight, brings the taxi to a screeching halt just a hair’s length away from where scara stands.
some onlookers offer a quick cheer as spiderman jumps down onto the sidewalk before returning to busy lives, but a few linger to watch and film the superhero skitter over to the boy standing stock still in front of the car, frozen in shock.
“are you okay?” he asks, hands reach scara’s shoulders just before he’s shoved off with alien strength — shocked into the realization that he is a complete stranger.
he takes a step back and lets his eyes flit to the taxi to check if the occupants are okay. the driver’s stumbling out, unharmed and apologetic as he surveys the damage to his vehicle.
the hero’s attention snaps back to scara when he stutters, “s-sorry.” he’s white-knuckling the bouquet in his hands, stems broken.
spiderman clears his throat, coughs once or twice as he tries to drop his pitch, “your flowers,” he says. scara shakes his head like he’s coming to and looks down, quickly loosening his grip. “that was scary,” he supplies.
scara swallows hard. “yeah,” he manages. “holy shit. um, thanks,” he bows his head with gratitude. “yeah, thank you,” he repeats a bit firmer.
“no problem,” he says, devoid of all usual disarming charm as his mind conjures a world where he took a minute longer during lunch or made a left instead of a right on the boulevard.
actually, he almost throws up.
scara walks off.
he stares after him, legs moving to catch up quicker than his thoughts can.
scara glances to his right and almost jumps. “w-what? why are you following me? did i forget something?” he slows down, almost to a stop. he looks around at the eyes glued to their interaction, spotting a few phones pointed their way.
“yeah, my number,” he jokes, the delivery falling flat, tripping over the crack in his voice.
scara’s face twists in confusion. “what?”
“a-actually, i can’t give you that,” he stutters. “sorry. it’s just, that was scary. and i was worried and i’m still worried. like, i’m shaking,” he says, raising a hand to show scara the tremor. “but maybe that’s ‘cause you’re really, like, totally beautiful.” oh my god, shut the fuck up, he thinks to himself in a panic. “that’s not what i meant, sorry. wait, i do mean that. you are beautiful. that’s not the point, though, i wanted to make sure that… you’re okay? because if i’m like this, how do you feel? you know?”
he spoke so much for so long that, at the end of his stream of consciousness, the street somehow feels quiet despite the bustle.
with wide eyes, scara tries to placate. “i-i’m okay. thanks to you,” he offers, uncertainty dripping from the words.
“good!” he chirps, clasping his hands together. “okay, yeah. good.”
scara shies away from the superhero and his onslaught of audience attention as pedestrians rubberneck. “i’m gonna… go now,” he says, slowly backing away with another nod.
“right!” spiderman says, “yeah, be safe! safe-r, i guess…” he calls after scara as he’s swallowed by raincoats and umbrellas. stupid, stupid, stupid, he thinks to himself. even superhero status can’t save the idiot he becomes in front of indigo eyes.
the small crowd descends, a courageous few opening the avenue to a few lucky celebrity selfies. ugh, he always has a hard time saying no.
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dragonwritersblog · 7 months
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Five Times Jax and Pomni Share Dreams of Their Past Lives (And One Time Where They Remember)
Read on AO3
1/2/3/4/5/6
Here we are, back with another chapter! Thank you so much for the support with this, it really means a lot to me. Especially those in the funnybunny discord server I joined, ya'll have been so welcoming and accepting when I joined so thank you so much.
Also, check out these art that people have made for my fic, I still can't believe people are drawing art of it thank you so much!
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Thank you all again and I hope you enjoy chapter 3!!!
3. Paper Rings
Jax stood with his arms crossed, and a frown printed on his face. Caine had called everyone for the last adventure of the day and Jax already wanted to be finished with it. Ever since his revelation earlier about how he felt about Pomni, his mind had turned into a storming whirlpool. He tried to think of anything else, pranks, centipedes, the existential dread that he was stuck here forever – it might be morbid but it was something at least -, kicking leftover gloinks, breaking Gangle’s comedy mask, Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pomni…
“Thank you all for coming!” Caine’s abnormally loud voice from him from his daze, thankfully. “I understand that you’ve all been working hard all day with the adventures I’ve given you, but fear not, I have one more and you can all retire for the night!”
“Do we really have to?” Zooble muttered, “Can’t this wait till tomorrow? I’ve got better things to do.”
“I agree,” Gangle whispered, “I wanted to try and fix my comedy mask…again.”
“Don’t you worry Zooble and Gangle, you darling multi-shaped freaks!” Caine bellowed, “This adventure is only for two, so you don’t need to worry about joining anything. I just wanted to gather all of you to see them off before the most exhilarating voyage of a lifetime!”
“Well, whoever it is, I’m glad they’ve got this opportunity to do so,” Ragatha smiled, “It’ll be nice to hear about it when they finish it.”
“Even if it includes insects!” Kinger interjected, “That’s very important.”
“I mean, its just one more adventure,” Pomni shrugged, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”
Caine gasped dramatically, finally, their new little jester was starting to get the hang of it here. “That’s great to hear Pomni, for you and Jax are going to be paired up for this glorious crusade!”
Said jester and rabbit’s faces blanched, they were still barely processing their sudden dreams two nights in a row and still weren’t able to get today’s earlier events out of their heads! Not only that, the two were still trying to process their sudden budding feelings with one another, now Caine wanted them to pair up?! Could they not have five minutes of temporary sanity before being shoved into another bizarre situation?!
“Woah, woah, hold up there, dentures!” Jax stepped forward.
“I really don’t think-” Pomni was about to continue before Caine interrupted.
“Now, now you two!” Caine waved his finger, “No need to be so shy! By the end of this adventure, you two will be closer than ever! Just think of it as team building, especially for you Jax, I don’t think I’ve seen you be close with anyone other than-”
“Don’t,” Jax bit out, making the AI go silent. A small whimper was heard, everyone turned to look at Kinger, the chest piece was clutching his cloak tighter to himself, trying to look as small as possible.
“I…I believe we should continue on with the details of your adventure!”  Caine spluttered, wanting to change the subject as quickly as he could, “After all, there’s no reason to think of the past! Since there’s no ‘past’ for any of you to go back to.”
Pomni’s eyes darted from Caine to Kinger and Jax, curiosity began to bite at her. What happened to make everyone react like that? While she was still learning about the past performers here, she still didn’t know everything. Was there someone that Jax genuinely liked here? Did they abstract like Kaufmo as well? She remembered her first day here, the first time seeing an abstraction. If she didn’t arrive would Kaufmo still be okay? He probably had a family before this realm as well, and now any chance of seeing them again was taken from him.
“Now about your adventure! Both Jax and Pomni have to venture through the winding maze! It will be grovelling, it will be exhausting, it will leave you both wondering when this madness will end! But hey, you will end up the best of buddies the time it’s over, you might even wish you’d have stayed!”
Pomni blinked her brainstorm away, she nearly forgot about the adventure!
“Good luck, and we’ll see you both in the morning!” Before Pomni could ask him what he meant, Caine snapped his fingers and the rest of the tent disappeared before her eyes.
The ground felt different underneath her feet, looking down she realized that she was standing on some sort of pixelated grass. She lifted her head to take in the rest of her surroundings, two tall hedges standing on each side of her.
“Well, this is fantastic,” a sarcastic voice drawled. Oh, right, she was stuck with Jax until this was over, “Thank you so much Caine, this is exactly what I wanted.”
“It’s fine, this is fine!” she didn’t know if she was saying this to both of them or just to herself, “It’s just a maze with long winding paths and tall bushes that you can’t see out of and hey what was that Caine said about this madness not ending!?” She was spiralling, she knew that, but in her defence…it was Pomni. “Oh god! How long are we gonna be in here until we find an exit?! What if we don’t find an exit?!”
“Easy, Pom-Pom,” Jax rolled his eyes, “Caine would lose his entertainment if he kept us in here, now come on, I wanna get out of here as soon as possible.” He started walking a few steps, only to pause when he realised that Pomni wasn’t beside him. He let out a groan when he saw that she was still stuck in the same spot, her red and blue eyes replaced with dark swirls that only appeared when she was too caught up in her mind. He went back over and tapped the back of his hand against her cheek, causing her to gasp and jump. “Come on, the last thing we need is you delaying us because you’re too busy panicking.”
Pomni scoffed, that was unnecessary, “It’s not like I can control my panic attacks, unlike you, you actually choose to be a jerk.”
Jax froze, a smirk curling on his lips. Now this was an interesting development, “Well, well. Looks like the new cat on the block finally found her claws.”
Pomni rolled her eyes, she forgot that Jax could be incredibly annoying, “Let’s just try and find an exit.”
“Whatever you say Pom-pom,” Jax’s smirk fell, returning to his prior grimace as the two continued down the maze.
Their suspicions were corrected when guessing that this maze would last more than a while, each corner they turned was a dead end, each path seemed to lead them back to where they started and when they looked back it seemed like the area where they just were had been blocked off. They didn’t know how long they had been walking, minutes, hours? All they knew was that their feet were aching and that they desperately wanted to leave. Jax was starting to lose his patience. If he were stuck here with anyone else he would have tried to run as far away from them as he could. But for some reason, he had some sort of soft spot for Pomni and he couldn’t stand it. It made things much more frustratingly difficult for him, such as not bearing to leave her behind.
It wasn’t until she tripped for the umpteenth time did he start to lose his patience, he picked her up by the back of her collar, holding her at eye level. He had to bite back a laugh, she really did look like a cat this way, a miserable wet one at that. “I don’t think Zooble has fallen over as much as you have,” he said, “At least he has a reason to be so clumsy.”
“Oh really? And what’s your reason for being such an @SShole?” she challenged him, crossing her arms over her chest, “Or were you just born that way?”
Jax let out a slow breath, dropping Pomni into her feet again, watching her stumble as she regained her balance, “You’re right, I don’t have a reason, as long as I’m watching funny things happen to others I don’t really care.”
“Well that’s definitely a sad way to live,” Pomni mumbled, taking a few steps ahead of him.
“Its better than looking for an exit that isn’t there,” Jax retorted, “I mean, its pretty sad when you think about it."
“At least I didn’t leave you with an abstraction,” Pomni quipped, “Thanks a lot for that! It was so much fun for my first day here. Not!”
“Oh you’re so welcome,” Jax gave her a shit-eating grin, “Always great for the newbie to be traumatized on her first day, it gives ya a great taste of what else is coming.”
Pomni glared at him, oh he was having too much fun with her, “You know Ragatha got really hurt because of you? You could’ve tried to help get Caine but you just ran off to who knows where. Then when I tried to help her my hand started glitching, we could have both died!”
“But you didn’t,” he replied, placing a hand on his hip, “This isn’t my first rodeo with something like this, you would’ve been fine.”
“That doesn’t mean I wasn’t freaked out by it!” Pomni grit her teeth, “Like you said, I’m new, how was I supposed to know that it was gonna be fine?!”
“Look just lay off it already?!” Jax fumed.
“Right, cause nearly getting devoured by a glitchy monstrosity is so easy to forget about,” Pomni walked past him. “God you’re such a pain.”
Jax grumbled under his breath, “What do you want, an apology? That’s not something I do sweetie.”
Pomni growled, whipping back round to face him, “Okay, what is with you?! You say you don’t have a reason to care, yet you defended me earlier today when Caine was yelling at me! What the h%ll was that about?!”
Jax inhaled deeply, now she was starting to get on his nerves, but he seemed to be doing the same to her so at least he had some sort of equal footing, “Like I said, I didn’t want Bubble to destroy the carnival, there’s no deeper meaning.”
“And I don’t believe you,” Pomni frowned, “Otherwise you wouldn’t react that way earlier when Caine was talking about you being close with someone.”
Jax flinched, he spoke in a low tone, “That’s deep water you’re treading there, sweetie. I’d recommend for you to stop while you’re ahead.” He shoved past her, ignoring her scoff.
“At least I’m trying to leave!” she stated, “If I can find a way to do that then I can help the others get out of here too! What have you done other than be a d*)k to everyone here?!”
“You really wanna know Pomni?!” he yelled, turning back and stomping over to her, “I have tried to get out! I’ve tried to collect every single key here and yet none of them has opened an exit! Do you know how it feels, to watch everyone else here slowly give up on finding a way out?! You haven’t been here as long as I have! You haven’t seen what I’ve seen! And it hurts to have everyone tell you that it’s pointless in trying to leave, trying to find a way back to a life you don’t remember! So yes, I’m awful and I shouldn’t act this way! I get it! You don’t think I hate it too?! But for some reason when I’m with you I just-!”
He froze, catching himself before he fell off the edge. Pomni’s eyes were wide and cautious, great, he was scaring her off. This should be a good thing, he wouldn’t have to deal with these stupid butterflies anymore, so why did he feel so upset about it? But instead of her yelling at him to leave her alone, all she said was, “I’m sorry that you went through that, but don’t ever speak to me like that again.” A tear fell from her eye, “And maybe it is pointless for me to find an exit like how you tried to as well, but I wanna go back to a world and see what it can offer me rather than live in a place surrounded by fear and void. Even if the life I had before was bad, at least I’ll know that I’m able to change it into something else…I feel sorry for you Jax, I really do.”
With that, she finally walked away, slowly enough for him to catch up but enough for her to leave some distance between them. He shouldn’t care, he doesn’t care, he won’t care. But, just looking at her, seeing the disappointment in her eyes. There was just no denying the raw heartache he felt after hearing those words from her. He really did fall for her, didn’t he? And he probably messed this up too, just like…no, he doesn’t need to think about that event, not anymore.
The next hour of walking was nothing but awkward filled silence. The whole time, the two just wanted to say something, anything to the other, but the words just couldn’t come to mind, and they were just getting too exhausted to keep going. Though there was no indication of night and day here, the way that their eyes kept drooping and the struggle to keep going was starting to overcome their senses.
“We-um,” Pomni stuttered, Jax’s heart fluttered a bit, was he happy at the fact that she finally said something? “We should probably try and get some sleep. It isn’t a good idea to keep going like this.”
“Yeah, we…we should,” Jax nodded, “It’ll stop you from constantly tripping over your feet, eh?” He meant for it to be a joke, but she didn’t react other than a simple hum, he could understand why though.
They walked over to one of the hedges, sitting and leaning against the back of it. It wasn’t the best bed but there wasn’t anything else that they could do. Pomni shuffled away from him, to give Jax some room. “Well, night,” she said softly.
“It’s not able to be night here,” Jax spoke, “But I get what you mean.”
Like that, they turned away from each other, shutting their eyes. Neither of them aware that they were wondering what their dream would be about tonight.
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The coffee table in Amber’s living room was scattered with treats. From the remains of gingerbread men and houses to chocolate chip and sugar cookies, even some sweet mince pies, two mugs of hot chocolate and a can of whipped cream on the side. It definitely wasn’t a healthy breakfast, but this sugary calamity was something special Penny liked to share with her mother since she started homeschooling. When things started to turn around for her, Amber made sure that every single aspect of her life was, while not perfect, something for Penny to look forward to. And thus, dessert for breakfast on Christmas morning was born.
Amber and Penny were lazing on the couch, the TV in front of them playing ‘The Grinch’ while the two stuffed themselves to their hearts content. Amber had squirted some whipped cream into her mouth before automatically doing the same with Penny, not even taking her eyes off the TV to know that her daughter had opened her mouth for some. After placing the can back onto the table, she and Penny leaned back into the cushions, with Amber wrapping her arms around her youngest daughter and holding her close. “I feel like at some point we’re going to become the couch if we keep doing this each year,” Penny giggled.
“Honey, we already have,” Amber smiled, pressing a kiss to Penny’s hair, “We are couch people and always will be couch people. I still can’t believe you used to be scared of this movie when you were a kid.”
“That was until I discovered the magic that was Jim Carrey’s comedic line delivery,” Penny replied, “The man’s a legend.”
“He really is, and you will be too my little costuming star!” Amber nuzzled her daughter’s nose with her nose, laughing at Penny’s groans.
“Mom!” Penny buried her head into Amber’s shoulder, “Stop!” She didn’t mean it and Amber knew that.
“I can’t help it if my daughter is amazingly talented,” Amber grinned, loosening up a bit as she peered down to look at Penny’s face. “You know, you seem a little different after that date with Jack at the Christmas fair.”
“I-what-mom!” Penny spluttered, her face as red as a tomato, “It was not a date!”
“Mmhmm,” Amber was not convinced in the slightest, “Baby, I’m old enough and wise enough to realise what a date looks like.”
“Mom…you, wise?” Penny stated.
“Ah, ah, I’m not finished,” Amber waved a finger in front of her face, “Trust me when I say this, I’ve been watching your sister fall in love with Winter and I’ve seen how they act around each other. You know when they first met it was over carrot cake?”
“Yeah, I’ve heard this story before,” Penny smiled, “There were having lunch at work and Winter got carrot cake because it was her favourite while Riley hated it.”
“And the two debated the whole day about cake flavours that they ended up becoming friends,” Amber continued, “And every time they saw each other Riley always brought Winter carrot cake.”
“What does this have to do with Jack?” Penny asked.
“I’ve seen the way Riley looks at Winter,” Amber told her, “She looks at her as though if she was the only thing that matters in the world. She could be surrounded by all the treasures in the world but she would still choose Winter. I saw how that boy looked at you before he left, in a room full of riches he would choose you.”
Penny blushed, thinking back to Jack kissing her cheek. The way he looked at her back then, it filled her stomach with butterflies and her heart thump hard. She never felt this way about anyone before, but the way he would smile at her, send her winks and always make her feel safe, it was hard not to fall for him. The only question was, did he feel the same way back? Sure he kissed her back but that was only on the forehead, what if it was a friendly kiss? What if she makes him feel awkward once she tells him how she feels? What if he wants nothing to do with her anymore?
“Penny, hey, it’s okay,” Amber pushed her daughter’s hair away from her eyes, taking her cheeks into her hands, “I can hear the cogs in your brain turning, but trust me when I say this, your dad has never looked at me the way Jack looks at you.”
Penny bit her lip, she knew that though her mother loved David in the past, he had hurt and betrayed her in many ways too. It was why they had these sugary breakfasts for Christmas, little things like that as a way for Amber to show how sorry she was for what David did to them. If there was a way Penny could show her that she wasn’t at fault, that she forgave her for everything that happened, that it was David who should be at fault for always gaslighting and manipulating Amber into thinking he was still the same man she married, but he was nothing of the sort.
“Mom,” Penny snuggled further into her mother, providing her with the comfort she needed.
“It’s okay baby, I’ve made my peace with it,” Amber held her tighter, “My only regret is that I didn’t realise he was this way before we were married. He gave me false hope and promises, love-bombed me until I could only see the world in rose tinted glasses and by the time I could finally get them off, he got you into that car crash. Jack isn’t like that. I’ve met him a few times while Winter and Riley were dating, and while he didn’t fully introduce himself, Winter’s mom always spoke about him. What I know of him is that while he’s scared and has been hurt many times before, unlike David, he wants to get better not just for his family, but for himself too. That’s more than David has ever done for me or for us.”
“Hey,” Penny turned her head to look up at her mother, “David fucked us all up. And yes, I’m still really scared with giving others a chance, but you’re one of the reasons why I’m able to get help. You were there for me every single step of my recovery and made sure that I was safe and happy. Parenting is a two-person job and not only did you have to do most of it on your own, but you also had two kids under your belt and raised us no matter what was thrown at you. Even if you didn’t leave David before the crash, you helped shield Riley and I as much as you could so that we had a good childhood. Don’t let your shitty ex-husband make you blame yourself for being a great mom.”
“Oh, babygirl, how did I get so lucky with you and your sister,” Amber pressed kisses over Penny’s face, her daughter’s nose scrunching up as she giggled. Her mother pulled away, smiling at her again.
“And you really think that…that Jack sees me like how you said?” Penny mumbled.
Amber gave her a look, her brow was raised and mouth was agape, “Honey, the guy wanted to wait for the perfect moment to ask for your number and kissed your forehead under the moonlight, the man is wrapped around your finger and you don’t even know it.” Penny blushed, ducking slightly under the blanket she was in. “Pen, I’d say go for it, only if you want to. You seem so much more yourself around him. But if he breaks your heart, I’m sending Riley after him.”
Penny burst out laughing at that, “Riley would send him to an early grave!”
“I know,” Amber stated matter-of-factly, “And I won’t hesitate to let her do it.”
“Mom no!” Penny snorted, “And you wonder where Riley gets these tendencies from.”
“Good,” Amber grinned, “That means I taught her well.”
Amber couldn’t help but join in on the laughter, just hearing her daughter laugh was enough to help her forget that she had even mentioned or thought about David. Penny was just that important to her. If anything happened to her…no, this was a good moment, there was so reason to think about the inevitable.
Penny’s phone dinged from the coffee table, sobering up from her laugh session, she leaned over to see what notification she got. What she saw made her gasp and nearly drop her phone.
“Winter proposed to Riley!” She squealed to Amber, the older woman immediately leaning over to check the recent news, “And she said yes!”
“Oh my god!” Amber screamed with joy, shaking Penny by the shoulders, “My daughter is getting married, I’m so happy!”
“Mom I know you’re excited too but I’m gonna be sick!” Penny warbled, starting to get dizzy.
“I’m sorry baby but it’s just, aaaahhhhh!” Amber got up from the couch, “I’m just so happy for her! Wait here, I’m gonna get my phone and message your sister!”
Penny giggled at her mother’s antics as she ran out the room, turning away to look at the image on her phone again. Riley and Winter’s faces weren’t in the picture, but what she did see was the Winter was behind the camera, holding Riley’s hand as she showed off her new engagement ring. This was without a doubt going to be an interesting Christmas dinner.
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Jack straightened up his tie again, before unfolding it and retying it again as he stared at himself in the mirror. This was the first time he and Penny were having their families together for dinner, and after the kiss from the Christmas fair, he wanted to follow up on that. Penny had taken over his mind and senses to the point that he had to see her in person again.
Winter and her 8-year-old sister Nina stood at the corner watching him, with Nina’s twin Alex still upstairs getting ready. “What’s the retying count at now Nina?” Winter asked.
“49, wait, it just got up to 50,” Nina told her.
Winter whistled cooly, “Jeez, that’s a new record.”
“I can hear you both you know!” Jack called to them, “You guys wanna keep standing there or do I need to give Nina’s new toys to the bogeyman.”
“No!” Nina cried, running away back up to her room to check if her new Christmas presents were still intact.
“You don’t need to keep worrying,” Winter walked up to him, shoving his hands away and took his tie into her own, “You were blushing like a tomato after kissing that girl and she was just the same. Just play your cards right, take it slow and things will work out.” She wrapped the tie into a knot.
“That’s easy for the recently engaged lesbian to say,” Jack pointed out, “Which by the way, congratulations again.”
“Thank you,” Winter grinned.
“I just…I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” Jack sighed, “I never thought I deserved someone who could make me this happy. Every time she walks into a room I forget how to breath. I can’t mess this up.”
Winter stopped her hands for a moment, “The only way you’re gonna mess things up is if you let those thoughts win. You’ve been doing great and you told each other what happened when you both were kids and she still wants to see you. Just take a breath, let me fix your tie and just let the night lead itself. I didn’t have much of a plan for proposing to Riley other than doing it on Christmas and she still agreed to marry me. Plans are overrated…sometimes, you know what I mean.”
“Yeah,” Jack nodded, “I do.” He took a breath as Winter finally finished his tie, checking himself out in the mirror. He flashed himself a grin, “Still as handsome as always.”
“And he’s back,” Winter rolled her eyes.
“Ooooh!” Both Jack and Winter turned to the sound of teasing voices, looking up to the stairs and seeing Nina and Alex with mischievous grins on their faces while chanting, “Jack has a girlfriend! Jack has a girlfriend!”
“Jack is gonna give all your gifts to the bogeyman!” He retorted, making the two scream and rush downstairs into the living room.
Meanwhile, Riley was busy helping carry the plates and cutlery to the table making sure everything was carefully placed on the Christmas-snowflake themed tablemats. Winter’s mother, Laura, came in carrying a hot plate of steamed vegetables, focusing on her attention on the food to make sure it wouldn’t fall before Riley came over to take it from her. “Here, Mrs Alvarez,” she said, “Let me.”
“Oh Riley there’s no need,” Laura patted her back, “I just wanted you to relax with Winter, let me and Marcus manage it.”
“I’m going to become part of your family soon. Please, allow me,” Riley persisted, placing down the pot near the centre of the table.
“Oh you’re a good girl Riley,” Laura took Riley’s hand into hers, “It’s no wonder Winter fell in love with you.”
“Mama!” Winter flushed, entering the dining room with Jack hot on her heels, “Please save the embarrassing stuff for the wedding!”
“No Laura continue,” Jack grinned, “This is karma for teasing me about Penny.”
“Oh, Penny Reed?” Winter’s father Marcus entered the dining room, his smile wide and his eyes crinkling with joy. “Winter told me so much about your date with her at the fair. Tell me more about her!”
Shit Jack cursed internally, with Winter sending him a smug look. “Well, I-”
“Yes, do go on,” Riley’s firm voice chided him, almost threatening him to not slip up. “Tell us more about my sister Jack.”
And now he had to tread carefully, especially talking about the younger sister of a 6-foot redhead with the experience of breaking the bones of criminals and throwing people over her shoulder. Please let whatever luck he had be on his side during this moment. “W-well she’s kind, funny,” He gulped as Riley squinted at him, he really didn’t want to die tonight, “And she one of the best people I’ve ever met in my entire life…whenever I’m with her, she makes me the happiest I’ve ever been. I just hope that I’m making her happy too.”
Riley softened a bit, did that mean she approved of his answer or thinking of plans ranging from A to Z to murder him?! This woman terrified him to no end!
“Well, she must be pretty special if you think that of her,” Laura beamed, “I can’t wait to officially meet my other daughter-in-law! Now if you excuse me, I need to get the pork out of the oven.”
“Hang on, I’ll help!” Marcus called after his wife as he trailed after her.
That was when the doorbell rang, light and quick on his feet, Jack bounded for the door. He straightened his jacket and tie one more time, cleared his throat rolled back his shoulder, he could do this. With a turn of the knob, the door swung open, revealing Penny glowing under the moonlight. Suddenly, his voice was cut in his throat and his palms were sweating despite the chill rolling in from the open door. The only word he managed to say was, “Hi.”
“Hi,” she shyly replied, her hands tightening on a small gift bag she brought.
He shook his head quickly, letting himself reboot as he turned to Amber, her smirk held nothing but the knowledge of a woman who knew all too well about what the two felt for one another. “Amber,” he greeted, holding out his hand for her to shake, “It’s good to see you again.”
“And you Jack,” Amber returned the handshake, letting him lead her and Penny into the house before shutting the door behind them. “I see you’ve cleaned up well.” It was a normal sentence, but her words told a totally different story.
Oh, she knew, she really knew! He was an open book and Amber had flicked through every single page. “I-I always dress this nice for Christmas, ma’am,” he stammered, “It wouldn’t be formal of me to not look this good for the holidays.”
Amber hummed, sure she believed what he said, but what Jack failed to realise was that Amber noticed his suit was the colour blue – Penny’s favourite colour.
“Hey mom,” Riley made a beeline to her mother, wrapping her arms around her, “I hope walking here wasn’t too bad with the snow,”
“Don’t worry baby, it was fine,” Amber pressed a kiss to her hair before pulling back, “But enough about me, let me see the ring!”
Riley blushed, unable to hide the giddy smile as she held up her hand.
“Oh my god, Riley!” Penny squealed, hugging her older sister. “Winter got you a good one! I’m so happy for you!”
“I know,” Riley laughed, “I’m the luckiest woman in the world.”
“Actually, that would be me,” Winter slid her arms around fiancé’s waist from behind, resting her head on her shoulder, “I’m the one who’s marrying this beautiful woman.”
“Flattery already?” Riley pressed her cheek against Winter’s, “And the marriage hasn’t even begun.”
“Am I not allowed to compliment my soon-to-be-wife?” Winter kissed Riley’s cheek, “Besides, that’s only 20% of my flattery, I’m saving the other 80% for my vows.”
“Dear god,” Riley slapped her palm against her forehead, knowing Winter, she was going to leave Riley as red as a tomato.
Penny stifled a laugh, Jack screamed internally at the sound. How can anyone be this fucking cute?!
“Penny!” Laura came rushing down the hall, her apron stained with some type of sauce, “I’m so happy we can finally meet.”
She opened her arms, ready to bring Penny in for a hug, only for the girl to freeze and back away. Laura faltered, her brows furrowing with concern at Penny’s startled reaction. Winter was quick to step in.
“Mama, remember,” she told her, “Penny is funny with being touched unless it’s by someone she fully knows and trusts or she’s the one going first.”
“Oh goodness,” Laura gasped, “Penny sweetie I’m so sorry I genuinely forgot!”
“It’s fine, really it’s fine,” Penny reassured her, stepping forward, “Honestly I’m able to tell when it’s a simple mistake.”
Jack’s stomach churned, all those years of bullying and her father berating her made Penny so frightened. He just wanted to shield her from everything bad so that she would never have to feel that sort of fear and pain ever again. Out of anyone in this room, he could relate to that type of fear.
“I’ll make sure to let the others know, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable during your first meal here,” Laura informed her.
“Thank you Mrs Alvarez,” Penny smiled, “I really appreciate it.”
“It’s absolutely no problem honey,” Laura emphasized, “Now I’ve gotta get the rest of these plates out, please, make yourselves at home.” With that, she turned to walk back into the kitchen.
“Here, let me take your coats,” Jack offered, holding his arm out.
“What a gentleman!” Amber gave Penny a look, making the girl glare at her mother, “Penny you better snatch him up before anyone else does.”
“Mom!” Penny hissed. Jack was fairly sure his face resembled the red lights flashing on the Christmas tree.
“Mom, why don’t you and Penny just wait in the living room please!” Riley exasperated, desperate for her mother to not spout out whatever she had in mind.
Amber put her hands up in surrender, “Alright, I yield.”
“Don’t worry Amber,” Winter took the woman’s arm into hers and led her into the living room, “She’s been like that with me whenever I point them out as well.”
“Honestly Winter, what it your fiancé like?” she joked, leaving Riley gaping behind them.
“I heard that!” Riley hollered, chasing after them, leaving Jack and Penny alone in the hallway together.
Jack took this moment to take in the garment she was wearing. It was a simple crimson dress with a floor length pleated skirt, long off-the-shoulder bell sleeves and a ruffled neckline. “You look…wow,” he breathed, how was she able to take something so simple and still look so stunning? She truly was remarkable.
“Thanks,” she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, “I wasn’t gonna wear it but I thought that it would be nice for this evening.”
“You’re so beautiful,” he knew what he said, and he wasn’t going to take it back, not when she peered up at him through her long lashes with a gasp.
“Y-you’re ridiculous,” she uttered, handing him her jacket.
“Hey, just telling the truth here,” he replied as he went to hang up her jacket on the wall, “Besides, someone’s gotta point out how pretty you are.”
“Keep the chivalry to yourself sir,” Penny placed a hand on her hip.
“Can’t help it, I’m dreamy,” he was unable to keep the grin off his face at her pout. His face softened, holding out his arm, “Shall we?”
Penny raised a brow at him, grinning. “Mr Jack how thoughtful of you.”
“Well I have to put the wellbeing of our guests first,” He joked back, “Let me introduce you to everyone else.”
Penny nodded and slipped her arm into his, the two unable to fight of the chortles at their current predicament. He led her into the living room, Amber was already sitting down talking to Riley and Winter. On the sofa across from them was another couple around Marcus and Laura’s age. “Penny, this is Winter’s aunt and uncle, Anya and Winston.” he introduced. She gave them a nod before Jack led her to another young woman around her age. “This is their daughter Kiara.”
“It’s really nice to meet you Penny,” Kiara greeted.
“It’s nice to meet you too,” Penny returned.
Winston spoke up, “Laura’s been talking nonstop about ‘Jack’s new sweetheart,’ so it’s nice to finally meet the lovely lady in person.”
“Of course Laura’s been talking about us,” Jack groaned, Penny had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing.
“She’s so pretty Jack!” Anya gushed from her seat, “Where did you find this lovely girl?”
Both of them paled, sharing a look. The story about how they met was always going to be an awkward one, wasn’t it? They were saved by the sound of thundering feet descending down the stairs as Nina and Alex came bounding over to Jack and clutched each of his leg.
“Jack!” Nina cheered, “Penny’s here!”
“Yes, I can see that-ah-guys let go!” He stumbled over his feet and words, how much sugar did these two have earlier?
“Jack has a girlfriend! Jack has a girlfriend!” Alex chanted.
Penny and Jack spluttered over their words, at a loss of what they heard. “We’re not-” Penny gasped.
“It’s not like that-!” Jack objected “We’re just-”
“-Friends!” They chorused. Friends yes, that was what they were, but it just didn’t sound like something they wanted to continue being. They were unable to keep the daydreams of each other away anymore, to constantly wonder what the other was doing, what other hobbies they might have, if the other felt the same way.
“Nina, Alex!” Laura came back through again, the apron gone as she took each twin’s arm in her hands and pulled them off Jack, much to his relief. “That’s enough harassing Jack, dinner is ready.”
“I can’t wait to see what you’ve made this year Laura,” Winston clapped his hands together.
“I’ve gotta say I’m pretty excited to eat what you’ve made as well,” Amber got up, “As well as the table gossip as well.” She gestured to Jack and Penny.
“Oh Amber you must sit next to me, I have so much to share,” Laura not-so-subtly gestured to Jack and Penny.
Both mothers grinned, leaving Jack and Penny flustered messes unable to move from their spots.
“I’m so sorry about that,” Jack unlinked his arm, immediately missing Penny’s warmth.
“No, I should be sorry,” Penny objected, “My mom can be a lot sometimes.”
“Well I guess that’s just another thing we have in common,” Jack nervously rubbed the back of his neck.
“Yeah, I think so,” Penny’s embarrassment began to slip away, Jack’s seemingly doing so as well.
“Penny!” Riley interjected, taking her sister’s hand, “Sit next to me!”
“But I-woah!” Riley dragged her younger sister into the dining room, plopping her down to the seat on Riley’s left while Winter sat on Riley’s right. Guess she was still a bit protective.
“What are you waiting for over there dude? Come on!” Winter waved a hand over.
Jack let out a slow breath as he walked over, sitting opposite from Penny. At least it would be easier to talk to her face to face without twisting his head. Soon, everyone was loading pork, bread and steamed vegetables onto their plates, Kiara was taking photos of her food with Anya scolding her to put her phone away, Winston was already scooping up spoonful’s into his mouth, Nina and Alex grimaced at the greens on their plates and asking when dessert was, Laura was pouring wine into her and Amber’s glasses before clinking them together, Marcus was listing off each shop he had to visit just to make sure he got every right ingredient for tonight’s meal, Winter and Riley were holding hands and had all their focus on each other instead of the food in front of them, and Penny and Jack kept trading small glances while eating, their eyes holding their own conversation as the drowned everyone else out.
“So Jack,” Anya piped up, “Do you have any plans once you graduate?”
“Uh, what?” he barely registered the question until it finally caught up to him. “Oh, right! Um, I’m trying to apply for an internship at this game company called C&A, they hire a lot of indie and free-lancing creators and help promote their games so I’m hoping to get a place there.”
“I think you’ll get it,” Penny said, “I’ve seen some of the stuff Jack worked on, he’s really talented.”
“And so are you little lady,” he said that mostly to see her cute pout again, “Laura, did you know that Penny is a costume designer?”
“I did,” Laura nodded, “And I’ve seen some of the pictures of her creations that you showed me, Penny you really do have a talent.”
“She’s been designing ever since she was six,” Riley said, “I have no idea where she gets her ideas from, it’s incredible.”
“It meets the bar at least,” Penny objected, “Trust me there’s people in my class that are way better than I am.”
“Don’t sell yourself short Pen, every time you send me a picture of something you’ve made It just shows how creative you are. Someone’s gonna reach out to you one day and say ‘Penny, you are one of the most talented people in the world and I wanna hire you!’ it’ll happen one day, I swear on it, after all I’m never wrong,” Jack said, pointing his fork at her.
“You? Never wrong?” Penny said doubtingly.
“What? I’ll have you know I’m very smart,” he frowned mockingly.
“I’m gonna have to agree with my sister there,” Riley said.
“Oh come on!” Jack cried and turned to Winter, “A little help here?”
“Why, everything they said is true,” she chortled.
Jack moaned as the rest of the table laughed, clearly taking pride in his misery.
Penny’s giggles died down, wiping a tear of mirth from her eye as she faced him again, “Well hopefully someone will take pity on my designs one day.”
“You mean someone will see how exceptional you are,” Jack pointed out.
“Awfully generous but sure, we’ll stick with that,” Penny rolled her eyes fondly.
“Let’s just hope he says what he means instead of talking out of his ass,” Riley quipped.
Penny threw her sister a look, “Riley,”
“What?” Riley shrugged her shoulder, “I’m not saying he’s wrong.”
Amber raised a brow at her daughter. It was a joke, she knew that was going to happen. But she knew Riley long enough to know when her daughter was hiding something, and more importantly, when Riley was hurting.
“Speaking of designs,” Penny said, “Riley, you gotta let me make your dress.”
“What, you don’t need to do that, I just want you to enjoy the wedding,” Riley interjected.
“Can’t hear you, I’m too busy thinking about your dress since I’m the best sister ever,” Penny gave her sister a sly grin.
Riley huffed a laugh, once her sister was inspired nothing could stop her.
“Jack?” Nina piped up.
“What’s up squirt?”
“Can you sing ‘No Girl’s Toy? after dessert?” she pleaded.
“Yeah, “No Girl’s Toy!” Alex cheered with his sister, “Oh please Jack, please sing that!”
Jack flushed, waving his hands in exasperation, “Woah, woah hang on! I’m not singing that!”
“Please Jack, please!” The twins chorused.
“It’s just a little song Jack,” Winter jeered, Jack glared at her.
“Yeah,” Riley joined in on her fiancé’s antics, “What’s so wrong with the Raggedy Andy song Jack?”
“I sung that one time and suddenly whenever it’s brought up I’m forced to sing it!” he told them, “I’m putting my foot down on this one, there’s no way that any of you can convince me too-”
“Raggedy Ann was my favourite movie growing up,” Penny mentioned, “I’d love to hear you sing that song. Please?”
Oh god, Penny’s chocolate brown eyes had such an effective grip on him, how on earth could he say no to those lovely eyes? He sighed, “Fine, one song and that’s it.”
“Yay!” The twins cheered before tucking back into their meal.
“You should bring Penny over more often,” said Alex.
“Yeah she makes you do fun stuff,” Nina agreed.
“It is very interesting how easily swayed you were,” Laura joined in.
Jack wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole, he was being way too obvious with how he felt. “Please, I just want to eat my food without any further humiliation.”
“You know Marcus, he’s acting just like you before you started going out with Laura,” Winston said, “The red face, being easily swayed, the teasing. I’m getting a bit of déjà vu here.”
Jack bit down on his fork hard as Penny began to quietly squeal like a kettle, this night was already too much for the both of them.
After dinner and dessert was finished, Riley was helping Laura wash up the dishes despite the woman requesting Riley to sit down. “Laura, do you mind if I have a word with my daughter?” Amber asked, entering the kitchen.
“Oh, of course,” Laura said before turning back to Riley again, “Remember sweetie, you’re our guest, make sure you relax tonight.”
“Just after I’m finished with this dish Mrs Alvarez,” Riley continued to scrub the plate, “Than I’ll relax.”
Laura patted her back, leaving the mother and daughter in the kitchen alone together. “Is everything okay with you?” Amber asked.
“What do you mean?” Riley didn’t take her eyes off the plate.
“I mean with Jack and Penny,” Amber told her, “I thought you were fine with him back when you started dating Winter.”
“I am,” Winter dried off the plate and put it away, “If this is about Penny, that’s just me being protective.”
“I know that,” Amber walked over to her, “But I also noticed that you seemed a bit aggravated towards him.”
Riley whipped round, “No I wasn’t, I was just looking out for Penny.”
“Penny is a grown adult who can make her own choices,” Amber walked closer to her, “Riley, baby, why are you so worried?”
“Come on mom, you aren’t at least a little bit worried?” Riley argued, “You aren’t worried that he’s like the boys from Penny’s high school. Penny’s got a sensitive heart, what if he breaks it like they did? Those boys didn’t actually like her, they wanted to control her. And once she didn’t give them what they wanted they would just dump her! What if he’s like that, what if he makes her hate herself? What if he makes her so scared to the point she stops talking again? What if we actually lose her? What if-”
“-If he’s like David,” Amber finished for her, “That’s what it is, right?”
Riley froze, part of her knew that this was why she was so scared for her younger sister, but she wanted David out of her mind. He already tried to force himself back into Riley’s life many times to ask for money, and she never forgave him for involving Penny in that car crash. She hated him, she hated him so much that she would never let anyone else hurt Penny like that again, she failed with David, she failed with those stupid high school boys and she won’t make that mistake ever again. “I have to be careful mom,” Riley said to her mother, “I can’t let Penny feel that kind of pain again.”
“I know baby,” Amber said, “When I heard of Jack and Penny seeing each other I got worried as well. It’s always my first instinct. But now, I know that I can’t let David control what could actually be good for Penny, I won’t let him get into my head like that. I’m still scared, baby believe me, but not as much as I used to be.” She cupped her daughter’s cheek, gently lifting her head to meet her eyes, “David hurt you too Riley, I know you hate thinking about him, but you’re allowed to feel betrayed as well. If I ever made you feel that you weren’t allowed to hurt for what he did to you, I’m so sorry. I’m your mother and I’m supposed to protect my babies. Yes, I protected Penny, but don’t think for a second I won’t protect you too, even after you’ve left the nest.”
Amber held her arms out for her daughter. After so much anger and frustrations for her father after so long, Riley all but broke in her mother’s arms, Amber stroking her hair and whispering comforts into her ear. “It’s okay baby, I’m here, mama’s here.”
A soft sniffle made them turn to the doorway, seeing Penny there with a few leaked tears. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” she whimpered, “Can I have a hug too?”
Riley and Amber opened their arms for her, letting the youngest daughter cry along with them as their mother squeezed them both. In that moment, Riley wasn’t an engaged woman and Penny wasn’t an aspiring college student. They were just the 10- and 14-year-old girls letting their mother sooth them after so much pain.
After a while, their tears were dried and the three headed back into the living room. Everyone rushed up to them, panicking and asking them if they were all right. They told the rest of the family that they were fine, just a mother and her two daughters picking up a few fallen pieces.
It wasn’t until Penny erupted into a fit of giggles, seeing Jack being the one to pout this time as he held up a microphone and had the TV ready to play ‘No Girl’s Toy.’ Everyone was immediately seated, ready to hear the performance.
“I hope my suffering entertains you monsters,” he mumbled, before pressing play on the music. He gave out one final sigh before he began to sing.
Well, you can push me, shove me, turn me around, but I'm no girl's toy!
You can tie me, toss me, upside or down, but I'm no girl's toy!
I sing my own sweet melody, I go my own sweet way.
I won't beg 'round tomorrow for the kind of affection that was free today!
Oh, you can squeeze me, tease me; say I'm your own but I'm no girl's toy!
You can charm me, chase me, follow me home; I won't be coy!
You may not like it much but I'm my own best boy,
And not some sugar and spicy, lacy and nicey, sissy you're gonna enjoy!
No, I'm no girl's toy!
Everyone applauded and clapped as he continued to sing. He was embarrassed, that was for sure. But seeing Penny so carefree and happy, no worries and stress in those beautiful eyes of hers, just having fun with everyone else, he would sing this song for the rest of his life as long as she was happy. He was unable to stop his pleased smile while he sang.
Riley rested her head on Winter’s shoulder, she didn’t need to say anything for Winter to know when her fiancé needed her. She kept looking between Jack and Penny, just seeing what he would do for her, she knew that he wasn’t a bad person, although her protectiveness would always take over her senses. However she knew that Penny had to do this on her own, but for the first time in a while, she believed that her little sister was safe.
.
.
.
Spring had arrived, the perfect atmosphere for Riley and Winter’s wedding to take place. They had booked a hotel for the night and rented out it’s ballroom for tonight’s event. There was only one thing on everyone’s minds, make sure this wedding went off without a hitch.
Since Christmas, Penny had put all her focus on making the perfect dress for Riley, something that was pristine and bridal while also making sure that this dress was something only Riley would wear. Jack had facetimed her every time she was sewing, making sure she was getting on well with the dress while also making sure she was eating and drinking enough fluids. He had also seen the final result of the dress and he was determined that once Winter saw Riley walking down the isle wearing that, she would promptly burst into tears.
After hours of setting up flowers and decorations, making sure the place was spotless, the meals were delicious, the dance floor was ready, getting changed into their wedding outfits and the chocolate fondue was prepared, everyone could finally breathe until the wedding officially begun.
Jack was currently standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for Winter to walk up with her father. That would be the order, the brides would wait in their dressing rooms, wait for one of them to walk up the aisle first before leaving their own room to walk up as well, in order for neither of them to see their gowns.
He wore a black tux with a simple white blouse underneath, fiddling with his cuffs one more time before resting his hands. Of course Winter had asked him to be her best man, it was expected since he was practically her adopted brother. Alex was beside him, standing proud and taking his job as the ring bearer seriously. He ruffled the boy’s hair, making him laugh before Laura sent a look to the boys, telling them to behave.
Everyone straightened up when the music began. The doors opened, revealing Nina as the flower girl, spreading flowers across the aisle as a few bridesmaids followed, including Kiara, each of them wearing soft silvery grey dresses. There was a swell of pride when he watched Winter walk through the doors and up the aisle, her arm secured in Marcus’s as the man led his daughter up while his eyes welled with tears. Winter wore a snow-white gown with a full-layered skirt while her bodice consisted of a sweetheart neckline and spaghetti straps. Some would call it simple, Winter called it timeless.
Once she arrived at the top of the aisle, her father kissed her on the cheek and whispered praise into her ear. It was only when she stood at the top and her father sat down, Jack noticed her clutching her bouquet of roses while trembling like a leaf. He leaned over and whispered, “You’re okay. Riley has been head over heals with you ever since you met.”
“What if she changes her mind?” she whispered back, “What if she realises we’re too different and leaves?”
“That’s not possible,” he told her, “You too are proof of the carrot cake theory working.”
“Excuse me?” she asked, baffled.
“The carrot cake theory,” he said, “You love it and Riley hates it, yet she always brought a freshly homemade carrot cake because you it’s your favourite. You too are proof that the theory works, that opposites attract.”
Winter snorted, “You just blatantly ripped off the olive theory.”
“Mine is better,” he sniffed, “Besides, it got you to stop shaking.”
Winter looked down at her hands, he was right, she had stopped shaking. The doors opened and Winter’s breath hitched as she gawked at her bride. Riley’s arm was in her mothers, her dress was an off-the-shoulder mermaid cut with a train, the white fabric adorned with glittered floral embroidery and long sleeves. The dress clung to her, Winter let a few tears fall, she was beautiful.
Jack was taken aback to, not by the bride, but by her maid of honour. Penny’s dress wasn’t as grand, yes, but he couldn’t take her eyes off her as she followed her sister. Her dress consisted of a purplish rouge chiffon fabric, a long A-line skirt, a straight across neckline and long balloon sleeves. He fell in love all over again.
Once Riley reached the end of the aisle, her hands latched onto Winter’s as Jack and Penny took a hold of their bouquets. Both brides were focused on each other, nothing else mattered. Once Amber sat down, did the wedding begin.
“Dearly beloved,” the officiator spoke, “We are gathered here today for the wonderful union of Riley Reed and Amber Alvarez. These two have proven that despite our differences, there is a love that can be found no matter what. Today, we are here to celebrate that love as these lovely ladies become not just married, but soulmates on this day. Winter, your vows.”
Winter took a shaky breath, “Riley, when I first met you, I won’t lie, I was a bit scared of you,” That earned a laugh from the crowd. “But after getting to know you, knowing how much you love your family, what you’ll do to make sure our clients get the justice they deserve, and knowing that despite your front, you are one of the kindest people I’ve ever met and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Riley began to cry as well, unable to keep all the affection she felt for this woman at bay. With the officiator’s okay, she began her speech. “Winter, every time I look at you I just keep asking myself, how did I get so lucky? How did I deserve the most perfect girl in the world? You look at the world with such positivity and kindness that I couldn’t not fall in love with you. Every time I look at you, you remind me why I became a private investigator, to help amazing people like you make the world a better place. I just…I really fucking love you Winter!”
Winter gave her a wet laugh, God she wanted to kiss her so bad.
“Winter,” the officiator said, “Do you take Riley Reed to be your wife, in sickness and in health, until the day you part, may you be together?”
“I do!” Winter replied immediately.
“And do you Riley-”
“I do, a thousand times I do!” Riley couldn’t stop the tears, not caring if her makeup got ruined.
“May we have the rings?” the officiator asked. Alex puffed his chest and beamed, carrying the rings over to the brides. The women thanked the young boy as the slipped each ring onto each other’s finger before holding hands again. “By the power vested in me, I know pronounce you too married. You may kiss the-”
The two didn’t wait for the officiator to finished before slamming their lips against each other’s, the crowd erupting into applause. Jack’s focus wasn’t on the couple though, his eyes travelled to Penny as she cheered for her older sister. Her eyes met Jack’s, the two of them just staring for a moment before giving each other a smile. It was in the moment that the two decided internally that one day, they wanted to have this moment and say ‘I do’ to one another. Tonight, they decided, would be the night that they would stop being ‘friends.’
.
.
.
The dance floor was empty apart from the newlyweds, holding each other in their arms as they let the music carry their slow steps. They weren’t able to keep their hands off each other since they were married, afraid that if they did then everything would disappear. By the time the first dance ended, the music picked up the pace and everyone was on the dance floor, dancing the night away, congratulating the couple and unafraid to be slightly more than tipsy.
Winter and Riley even threw their bouquets, having their backs turned to make sure it would be a surprise. When they turned round, they saw that Winter’s bouquet was held by one of the bridesmaids, and Riley’s was plopped into Penny’s hands.
“Penny’s gonna marry Jack!” Nina bellowed, she already had too much sugar from the fondue. It didn’t stop everyone whispering knowingly, apart from Riley still giving Jack the evil eye. However, Jack and Penny didn’t mind the teasing this time, after all, even if they didn’t confess yet, their feelings were mutual.
A while later, after dancing, talking and snacking, Jack pulled away from the buzz to get some fresh air on the balcony. He felt his heart take a leap when he saw Penny outside as well, her long hair flowing in the soft spring wind, taking in the quiet. He gently opened the door, trying not to startle her, though it seemed that he didn’t need to worry about that when she turned and noticed him, she must’ve sensed him coming outside.
“Need a break?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said, going up to rest his arms on the stone rail, “I was also hoping to see you as well.”
“I guess it’s a win-win situation,” she gently nudged his shoulder with hers. He was glad that he was part of her inner circle of people she was comfortable touching. “So, Riley and Winter are finally married.”
“I’m surprised they didn’t do so sooner,” he reflected the first time Winter brought Riley home, how they would giggle and fawn over each other as Riley was introduced to Winter’s parents, “I felt like I was gonna go insane with how much they made goo-goo eyes at each other.”
“They still do that,” Penny replied, “And I think its gonna amplify now that they’re married.”
“Oh jeez,” he put a hand to his head, listening to Penny’s sweet giggle. He took in the situation at hand, they were on the balcony together talking and having fun with all the space they needed to talk about their feelings. Maybe this was his chance, “Although I will admit, I am a little jealous. It would be pretty nice to have someone to do all that sappy stuff with.”
“O-oh,” Penny was taken aback a little bit, the thought of he and her doing all sorts of couple things rushing through her mind. Wanting to spend all his time with her, holding her hand, whispering sweet nothings when no one was looking. “I wanna do that too, you know, with the right person.”
Jack fiddled with the cuffs on his sleeves, this was it, “And what is the ‘right person’ that you have in mind?”
Penny gulped, okay, now it was getting serious, no turning back. “Well, I’d like him to be funny, kind, respectful to his and my family. Someone who has my back no matter what. Someone who makes sure that I feel like I deserve to be here. Someone who…sees me.”
She said, oh she said it! Did this mean she felt the same, only one way to find out. “Is that so little lady?” he took in her blush and nod, “Well, I bet he’s very handsome, jaw-droppingly if you will.”
Penny’s blush faded as she let out a chortle, “Did I forget to mention he’s full of himself?”
Jack placed his hand dramatically on his chest, “Why Penny how rude! It’s takes guts for someone to admit when they’re good looking.”
“Guts? Or an ego that’s too big to fit his head?” she began to belly laugh at his frown, clutching her sides as she clutched her ribs.
“Oh? Well that’s too bad little lady, I was just about to describe my ‘right’ person,” he chuckled as she straightened back up, “But it you don’t wanna hear it-”
“Alright, you smug bastard,” she sighed fondly, “Tell me, what are they like?”
“Well, let’s see,” he tapped his chin in false thought, “She’s extremely talented, always puts her family first, has one of the cutest laughs in the world.” Taking a chance, he tucked a piece of her hair behind her skin, his skin tingling as he made contact with hers, “Insanely beautiful…who sees me too…and is very short.”
“I will bite you,” Penny snarled, but she held no threat in her tone.
Jack’s face softened, “And, I want to hold her, tell her how much I love her and be with her as long as she lets me.”
Penny’s shivered at his tone, if he were talking about her (and she really hoped he was) then she had to do this next part carefully, “And if you were with this girl right now, how would you tell her about how you feel?”
Jack gulped, time to take the plunge, “I would tell her that I’m not a perfect person, but I am someone who’s always trying. You’ve taken over my mind and have stolen my heart, but I can’t find it in myself to care as long as it’s in your hands.” He took her hands in his at those words, “I just hope that she feels the same way.”
Penny’s heart fluttered, squeezing his hand in return as a swell of joy rushed through her from head to toe, “She does! She really does!”
Jack exhaled sharply, he couldn’t believe it! She likes him back! She wanted to be with him! “I wanna kiss you so badly right now,” he clamped his mouth shut when he realised what came out his mouth. They just confessed and now he was admitting that he wanted to kiss her, and just when he thought he was being smooth.
“Okay,” Penny peered up at him through her lashes.
Jack gaped at her, “Pen, you don’t want to if you don’t want to.”
“Trust me,” she cupped his cheek, “I really want this.” Despite her initial shock, she oh so badly wanted to kiss him back. Ever since the Christmas fair she was unable to spot thinking about his lips on her forehead, or how they would feel on her lips. “Are you gonna keep gawking or do I need to make the first move?” she teased.
Both of his hands were suddenly cupping her cheeks, cutting her off. He gave her one more look, a silent request to do this. When she nodded, he immediately planted his lips on hers. She was so soft, so sweet, so amazing! God he loved her!
She returned the kiss with the same warmth he gave her, with one hand on his cheek she used the other to pull him in closer by the waist. His lips felt the same as they did on her forehead, but somehow so different on her lips. No one ever kissed her like this before, like she really mattered to them. But with Jack, his mouth matched his promise he told to her, and she never wanted him to stop.
They parted for a moment to catch their breaths, grinning as they rested their foreheads together. “So,” she took in another lungful of air, “Does this mean you like me back?”
He smirked, taking her chin between his thumb and finger, “You tell me little lady, or would you rather I show and not tell with another kiss.”
“The second option please,” she grinned back.
He was about to dive back into her lips when a gasp made them both freeze. By the doors, Amber stood with a glass of wine, she was probably out here to get some air as well. “I knew it!” she squealed, “I knew you were gonna confess tonight! Laura owes me ten bucks!”
“Mom!” Penny gasped, clutching herself closer to Jack to save herself from embarrassment.
“Don’t worry baby, I’ll keep this between you and me. Besides, this is something that you’ll want to tell Riley by yourself,” Amber added, making both Penny and Jack pale at the thought of her older sister finding out. “Like I said, I’ll keep this to myself. Oh and Penny? Make sure you use the makeup wipes I gave you before you go back inside, the corner of your lip is smudged.”
Penny all but squealed in mortification into Jack’s chest after her mother went back inside, the man stroking her back as he chuckled. “Well, she does have a point,” he mentioned, “We don’t want the first thing that Riley sees when we go back in is smudged lip gloss.”
“Don’t single yourself out mister,” she poked him in the chest, “You’re wearing it too.”
“Oh really? Is it a good colour on me?” He leant in closer.
Penny mumbled shyly under her breath, God she was just too cute. “Wanna say that again little lady?” he asked.
“I said, how about you kiss me again if you like my lip gloss so much,” she pouted, the blush on his face was worth it though.
Jack huffed a laugh and pulled her in closer, “Now that sweetie, can be arranged.”
And just like that, they dove back into another kiss, enjoying only themselves without anyone else to interrupt their moment. It was just them, the moon and the start of their new relationship. And they couldn’t wait to see what else was in store for them.
.
.
.
Jax stirred lightly, stiff from laying against the ground. He must’ve slid down the hedge and onto the plush grass in his sleep, oh well, the grass was comfier. He could feel his lips burn from where Penny kissed Jack, as though he were the one who kissed her. But that was impossible, wasn’t it? There was no way that actually happened.
He was about to move when he felt a light weight on his chest. Looking down, he saw Pomni curled up next to him, hugging his side as she snored softly while using his upper body as a pillow for her head. Why wasn’t he shoving her off or telling her to get lost? Why was he growing flustered by the second and praying that she couldn’t hear his quickening heart rate? He could feel his tail wagging underneath him, was he actually happy about this predicament? There was no way!
He felt her shift beside him, mumbling gibberish in her sleep before cuddling him closer. Cute…wait, no it’s not! Get yourself together Jax! But there wasn’t any denying it though, no matter how much he wanted to, yesterday’s revelation just proved to him that he felt some sort of attachment to the jester and it was driving him up the wall. Her hat had also slid of her head, revealing short yet soft looking locks. The way it framed her face ever so gently with its wisped strands, oh god she was killing him.
He let his temptation win, reaching his hand out to touch it when she suddenly woke up, barely processing what was happening until she saw that she was firmly cuddling into this side while he was reaching towards her. “You got a loose hair there, sweetie,” he tried to squash down the awkwardness, trying to bring up his charm to save himself.
It seemed that it didn’t work as she squealed and pulled away from him as though he burned her, he wasn’t gonna lie, it kind of stung a bit. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t even know that I was doing that!” she fumbled over her words, grabbing her hat and screaming into it.
“It’s fine,” he sighed, standing up and stretching. “We should keep going, make use of the time we have.”
Pomni looked up, still clutching her hat. She was glad that he wasn’t mad, but why wasn’t he? If it were anyone else she was shore he would have told them to get lost, why did he leave her be? Her dream from last night made this moment even more flustering for her, the memory of Jack kissing Penny with such passion was burned into the back of her mind and the minute she woke up she was cuddling into Jax! The universe had to be out to get her.
“Hey, you awake in there?” he pointed to her forehead, “I said we should keep going.”
“W-what?” oh right, they still had to get out of the maze. The long…long maze, “Yeah, I’m coming.”
It seemed that the awkward silence had carried over from last night during their trek through the winding paths, neither of them not knowing what to say and their dreams invading every single thought they had. But besides the kiss, Jax thought of the family that brought Jack into their home. They shared no blood but treated him as though he were their son, making sure he was fed, happy and safe despite the occasional teasing. His mind drifted to Laura, how she cared for each one of her children, with the care and love that a mother should, it made him think of…
He looked to Pomni, who also seemed to be deep in thought, he made sure that she wouldn’t bump into anything. He felt bad for snapping at her yesterday, and the words she said to him afterwards cut deep. It was the first time in so long that someone called him out in a way that hollowed him to his core, to just step back and really think. Maybe that was what he needed. “Do you remember yesterday when Caine mentioned I used to know someone?” he spoke up.
Pomni’s head snapped up to him, his voice drowning out the deafening silence they stewed in for quite some time. “Y-yeah, why?”
“Well, when I arrived,” he started, “I remember that I didn’t know anything about my past, I was stuck in a body I didn’t know and all I could remember feeling was regret and fear. I acted a lot like a wounded animal, just screaming at people to stay away. It worked on everyone…except for Queenie.”
Pomni gasped, she had heard of Queenie and seen her door crossed off. The unsaid implication of her abstraction was what chilled Pomni’s spine, no one had to say anything to know what happened to her, but she never realised Jack was close to her.
“Well, she was the only one who wasn’t really phased by me,” he continued, “She made sure that I wasn’t alone, told me the stuff to look out for and sometimes Kinger would join her with helping me out, it’s strange to think about, back then he was more sane than he is now. I won’t lie, there were times that I was a little sh77t, but I’m grateful that she was willing to help me out. It helped me feel less scared, and sometimes I wondered if I had a mother in my past life that was like Queenie. But soon, I started seeing less and less of Queenie, everyone was starting to get worried. Any time we would see her she was always talking about an exit. I was also looking for one as well, collecting keys hoping that one of them would lead to an exit. One day, I told her about and maybe she could use on of them so it could help her mission…the next day she abstracted. Kinger was never the same after that, I wasn’t really sure if those two were together or not, but it was obvious how strong their bond was. Ever since then he started rambling about his ‘insect collection,’ I don’t know if it was to distract him from the grief or if it was a factor of him going crazy. All I knew was if I didn’t give Queenie that key, she would still be here. If I didn’t try and escape, Kinger would still have his sanity left. It’s better that everyone hates me, all I am is this a%%hole rabbit who killed their oldest friend. It’s no wonder they hate me.”
“I don’t hate you,” Pomni said, making him turn to her, “That situation wasn’t your fault, it was just an awful place in time that no one could control. And I don’t think the others hate you too, I mean, did you even ask them?”
Jax sighed, “No, my mind just immediately believed that everyone hated me. Honestly, I wanted them to, it’ll make things a bit easier.”
“Yeah,” Pomni nodded, before paling at her word choice, “Not about everyone hating you, I meant about making things easier. Facing the bad stuff is scary, when I first got here I denied that this was real and that it was a dream. But at the end of it all, I had to accept that this was my reality, even if I didn’t like it. But I’m not gonna let it stop me from trying to leave, don’t let what happened to Queenie stop you from thinking that you deserve to be hated, you don’t. Maybe the others won’t forgive you immediately, but you can at least make a start.”
“We’ll see,” he gave her a soft grin, she was smiling back proudly. It was starting to get a bit too mushy now, so he pushed her hat over her eyes.
“Hey!” she squealed, she didn’t seem to mind that. She readjusted her hat and crossed her arms, “Really?”
“This is me we’re taking about. Besides, it was too easy Pom-pom,” he chuckled as she let out a groan.
“You’re not funny,” she walked up ahead, keeping the banter afloat as they continued to travel.
“No, I’m hilarious,” he retorted, “It’s not my fault you’re so uncultured short stack.”
She whipped back round at him with a pretend offended expression, “I’m not short!”
“Okay,” Jax snickered, “Come back to me about that were you grow 2 inches.”
She groaned dramatically, “You’re the worst!”
“True,” he picked her up as she let out a yip and placed her on his shoulders, “And I also have longer legs, I’ll get us to the exit faster.”
“Hey!” Pomni giggled, holding onto his head, “Put me down you giant!”
“But I need you to be my second pair of eyes short stack,” he patted her leg, “Just point out if you see anything and I’ll be your steering wheel.”
Despite the light teasing, she knew he was right, they would find the exit to the maze quicker if they worked like this, “Fine!...tall ass.”
“Say that again?” he quired.
“Nothing!” Pomni said.
Jax shrugged and continued walking. After a while, it seemed that the awkwardness had finally died down, leaving the two to engage in light conversations while searching for the exit. It was then they realised that they had forgotten about their dreams, not fully but they were so focused on one another, enjoying one another, they didn’t find the time to really think about them.
It still took them a bit of time, but eventually, to both of their relief and slight disappointment, they found the exit, the circus tent just down the path in front of them. Pomni jumped off Jax’s shoulders, there was no need for him to keep carrying down that they were back.
“I guess that marks the end of this adventure,” Pomni rubbed her arm, was she upset that this was over? Or was she upset that she couldn’t spend time with Jax anymore?              
“Yeah, the end,” Jax nodded, as much as he didn’t want to be part of this little maze escapade, he’ll admit it, it was better with Pomni being here. In fact, he wouldn’t mind being around her more often. “You know, I’ve noticed that whenever you’re on your own, you’re either hyper focused on every single little thing to the point where it stresses you out of your in your own little world while dissociating. Sometimes you’re so in your head that you fail to notice when someone’s coming right at ya. Whether it be Caine with one of his adventures or one of the others fooling around.”
“That tends to happen a lot,” she confessed, “It’s either one or the either, there’s not an in between. It’s kinda a problem.”                               
“Well, I have a proposition for you,” he said, she perked up, “Until you feel like you understand this place a little more, I’ll be there to make you don’t have one of your episodes. Whether you’re spiralling or hyper focusing, I’ll be here to ground you in case that happens.”           
“Really?” her eyes widened with joy at his offer, “You’d do that for me?”
“Just until you’re more aware of your surroundings,” he told her, “After all, I have a reputation to uphold.”
“Ah, right,” she gave him a joking grin, “We wouldn’t want anything to happen to that.”
“See, now you’re getting it,” he agreed, returning her grin.
The way he was leaning in, the way her heart sped up at their newly found teasing of each other, the way that the sense of déjà vu kept creeping in as though they had done this song and dance before. She ready did fall for him, didn’t she? She cleared her throat, “Well, good to know you’ve got my back, thank you again Jax. We should head in so no one’s worrying about us.”
“Works for me,” he nodded, his face suddenly becoming gentler, “And, you’re welcome.”
Don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush. “Race you inside!” she zoomed off, leaving the rabbit to laugh to himself.
“She sure is something else, huh?” he said to himself, his thoughts flooding with her again, he didn’t to anything to spot it, only letting it flow.
Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pen-
“Jax! You coming?” Pomni called out to him.
He blinked, what was that? What was his last thought about? He looked towards Pomni, suddenly forgetting that sudden glitch as he raced towards her, wanting to challenge the jester that captured his affections. “Are you sure sweetie?” he ran in her direction, “My longer legs might be more effective than yours short stack!”
“I’ll make you eat those words!” she snickered as he chased after her.
It was just a glitch.
Only a glitch.
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