#I guess? because there IS subtext in the rest of the animation

[captain-orphic-al]

I got emotional and started a new animatic for Macaque. Did not help that I was rewatching Mk’s sacrifice.

In retribution I will now start transferring my period cramps to both Wukong and Macaque. Because OW my heart.

[spoonyglitteraunt]

Sooooo.

I just checked something on mobile, and that means having to deal with the ads which, sure ok I guess. Usually I either ignore them, or grumble to myself if they are particularly teeth grindy like the diet ads. Because really, Tumblr? Can we just not? Can we just yeet these and their fatphobic bullshit into the nearest trashfire? Just sell me gadgets and gizmos aplenty or something.

So normally I would have zero inclination to share one of these. The less seen of them the better. But I'll make an exception this once. Because, well.

Tumblr, I have questions.

I just...

Ignoring the bullshittery of the topic with the barely legible 'meal plans" that I'm sure are to die for. (As in they'd kill you if you actually followed them for real.) What in the seven fandom hells even IS this. 😂

Just look at that thing and let it sink in for a second.

So you start with the 45 to 55s.

Weird place to start, but ok. You get dude who looks like he ran away from a conan the barbarian game with a woman where the only thing they did to make her look "older" was to give her sort of vaguely grey hair. Has the designer ever seen a woman in their 40's early 50's? Or seen any humans in that age range? Any humans at all even? That bicep is bigger than her whole head. Also why are they naked? And why are they the only ones that look computergame rendered compared to the more "photorealistic" ones next to them?

Not to mention none of these "people" look particularly happy or excited about this challenge they are trying to sell you. What is the message here? Take our challenge and be so miserable you need naked hugging times in space to recover? I mean, that's more honest than most diet ads then.

So we move onto the 25 to 33 bracket.

Weird age to cut it off at, but sure. I guess this age group can expect to suddenly feel the urge to have "supportive Bro time" as part of their need to recover from the hells of depriving the body of natural energy sources. But look at that manly support. Look at the nuzzling, I mean the smelling of eachother's manly musk, I mean the bros will be bros solidarity with definitely no subtext as displayed on the subtext site.

On to the 33 to 44 aged.

I guess if you are 33 you can pick your fighters meal plans. But not if you're 44 or 45 then you only get ONE! This one is the most ambiguous and thus boring. Is it a particularly muscly lady, a msclady if you will, or just a well hidden second dude? Or could they actually have tried to appeal to beyond the gender binary, quickly confused themselves, and then just went meh throw in some muscles hide the head and it will probably be fine. We'll never know. So let's put this down as ambiguous snuggles and hope that dude goes to see a doctor for whatever AI art went wrong with that arm.

Now all of that was vaguely nonsensical and stupid, but nothing that would compel me to share. No that's for our next contestants age groups.

So, my 55+ dudes. No ladies mind, the only feminine presenting people allowed in this challenge need to be between 45 to 55, maybe 33+. The rest of you ladies get to escape the challenge and find your own reasons to do some sad naked cuddling.

But my 55+ dudes, you get the chance, nay the unexplainably privilege of tenderly embracing a lion.

Was the lion rewarded to him by the challenge as a comfort animal? Was he already in a committed partnership with the lion? Was the lion just nearby and got caught up in a moment of emotion? And what has any of this to do with diets? Who knows? Certainly not me that's for sure. But our totally real and not badly AI photoshopped apex predator is clearly making the most of snuggling up to the muscly 55+ dude who incidentally looks younger than the two previous categories. Conclusion: cuddling lions in your time of need may in fact be the source of anti aging. Let's all not try this at home.

And then we arrive at the whippersnappers amongst the lineup of tender manly dudes.

You get to gently kiss a panther on the head. As one does with an apex predator, obviously. Funny though how there are more feline paramours than any other category what with the ambiguous third. So furry is clearly the ultimate relationship dynamic for sad naked cuddling in the aftermath of their product. Maybe they should have given them all cats then. Although I must say the panther seems far less pleased to be used for comfort than the lion did. Maybe they didn't feel photogenic that day. Maybe it's a relationship on the rocks. Maybe they were not paid enough to deal with this shit. Neither were we, my friend. Neither were we.

So, as I said. Tumblr, I got questions.

But I don't suspect you have any answers.

[nerves-nebula]

I know this might be kinda stupid but. do you have any music recs. specifically of the child abuse variety because I'd be very interested in that.

*sweats* ok so here's the thing- I have a playlist called "Abuse" and its full of music that is either explicitly about abuse, related to abuse thematically, or just has Abuse Vibes to me (some of which is likely inexplicable to other people)

im also kind of self conscious about my taste in music, cause sometimes it's like. i dunno. the steven universe soundtrack or a fnaf song i really like. and thats CRINGE! and really any genre of song can be about Child Abuse so it's like. idk if you'll like any of the things i recommend.

THAT BEING SAID, here's a selection i guess!! because I'm flattered you would even ask haha. a lot of these are pretty well known already tho so idk how helpful this will be. anyway this got hella long so. under the cut!

songs explicitly about or including themes of child abuse/having shit parents/having familial issues:

Guiltless by Dodie

Black by Okkervil River (narrative about a guys girlfriend telling him about her dad sexually abusing her. one of, if not the first, song i ever heard about CSA and it holds a special place in my heart)

The Mute by Radical Face

Ripple Effect by Scott Helman (kinda more about generational trauma & healing if im honest. i dont listen to it as much as the others on this list)

Poplar St by Glass Animals

Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood

Twin Sized Mattress by The Front Bottoms (classic i know)

The Family Jewels by Marina and the diamonds

Family Line by Conan Gray

Christmas Kids by ROAR (ok technically not about the kids but i find the subtext of how the kids are used in this abusive relationship horrific. also, it reminds me of my parents)

Drift Away - Steven Universe (OK I KNOW ITS NOT TECHNICALLY ABOUT THAT BUT TO ME IT'S ABOUT MY MOM. IT TRACKS TOO EXACTLY TO NOT INCLUDE HERE)

Other Abuse songs:

labour by Paris Paloma

This Hurts by Mindless Self Indulgence (my ex wife says i listen to this song to go joker mode and i hate that because i know she means Straight Joker and not Camp Joker but i do really like the song)

I'm your puppet by Gregory And The Hawk

Eric by Mitski (REAL GOOD)

Believe Me by James and the Shame (more about spiritual abuse sort of)

Girl Anachronism by The Dresden Dolls

Thermodynamic Lawyer esq GFD by Will Wood and the Tapeworms

We'll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross (less about abuse and more about, like, a healing relationship. still i think you can easily read into the alluded past abuse or sexual issues going here)

Fuck About It by Waterparks

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths (this is just such an abused person song)

This Hurts by Mindless Self Indulgence (my ex wife says i listen to this song to go joker mode and i hate that because i know she means Straight Joker and not Camp Joker but i do really like the song)

Sex With A Ghost by Teddy Hyde

I Cant Handle Change by ROAR (obviously)

rotting by vivivivivi

rook by sardonica

My favorite "Abuse Vibe" songs (NOTE: some of these songs might be about abuse or toxic relationships but um. im not very smart or good at sorting so. they ended up here):

Take a Slice by Glass Animals (PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS ONE FUCK THE REST OF THIS LIST EXCEPT ANIMALS I LOVE THOSE TWO)

Animals by Stomach Book (SEE ABOVE)

Youth by Daughter

Duck Or Ape by ROAR

Million Dollar Gold Digger (idk what it is about this remix im not even a huge fan of either of the songs its mixing. this is the VIBES part of the rec list i don't have to explain myself)

I'll Be Good by Jaymes Young

Gooey by Glass Animals

Breaking Down by Florence & The Machine

Moby Dick by Jakey

Aurora Borealis by Lemon Demon (hard to justify but this song just brings such vivid "abused kid failing to be normal while hanging out with someone and further isolating themself" vibe. yes im projecting. leave me alone)

The Dismemberment Song by Blue Kid (sometimes you just wanna kill your parents)

I'M GONNA WIN by Rob Cantor (this one just feels like anger and bitterness and being suspicious of anyone who tries to help you. I listen to it when im fucking going through it. its also a bop but you prolly already know that, i think it's pretty popular? idk)

It's Alright by Mother Mother (stereotypical i know)

South Dakota by Jakey (honestly i dunno. i dont even know where south dakota is)

My Blood by Twenty One Pilots (for all you sibling havers out there)

My Play by AJR (my parents arent divorced but man i wish they were. Also, this just brings up very vivid memories for me trying to show my parents things and it is fucking crushing haha)

Best Of You by Foo Fighters (idk just more shit that reminds me of my parents)

The Woods by San Fermin (this one is just very "I should have died as a child"-core to me)

JUVY ft. Julia Bard by Nnamdi Ogbonnaya (this guy is weird and i didnt like his stuff at first but then... i came back... and now he holds a place in my heart)

Grape Gil by Nnamdi Ogbonaya (i think this is my favorite song of his. I nearly made an owl house animatic to it)

Obsession by OK GO

Better Than Me by The Brobecks

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS by Tyler The Creator

Dumb Dumb by Mazie (honestly this one just reminds me of thinking "i hate it here everyone is so dumb" and then maladaptive daydreaming for hours to escape the situation hah)

Stone Wall, Stone Fence by Gregory And The Hawk

Never Wanna Fall in Love With U by Nelward

Another New World by Punch Brothers (this one is such an explicit and straightforward narrative i really can't explain it other than like. the emotions.)

Julep by Punch Brothers (once again, the emotions)

Always Sayin' by The Littles Man Band

A NIGHT OUT ON EARTH by Waterparks

Consequences by Lovejoy

Scum by Lovejoy

SMELLS LIKE TEEN SECRETS by lil boodang (another hard to justify one. idk. it just feels like it ok. sue me)

anyway i'm sure there's more but thats just a quick selection from my Abuse playlist. and by quick i mean you better appreciate this cuz i put way more effort into this than i needed to.

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

I appreciate the breakdown (you do a great job with those). I just think she's afraid for herself and for what a tragedy could do to Miles. I just dont like the term shutting down lol. Up to this point, she believes in these canon events. I think it pains her that she can't hold his hand like she wants to. She would love nothing more to believe that "There's a first time for everything".

Funny enough, the next time se see them is on top of the rooftop with her saying feelings make her hungry

@underthestyx

Okay, seems more than one person had asked me about this, let's talk about it.

Like I indicated in the analysis, a lot of stuff is happening on that scene, we have multiple moments with Gwen kind of pulling away just to also get a bit closer, as I said earlier, a lot of push and pull.

I don't think there can be a definitive answer for sure in this situation, since Gwen again, didn't say "no" or "yes," at any moment, the things she said were drowned in subtext that make me glad not being the one at the other end of that conversation because I would had probably left very confused.

Perhaps shutting down is too strong of a word for what is happening in this context, she isn't saying outright no so I guess it cannot qualify.

However, why I am still on the fence about this?

Well, I will be the first to admit that personal biases come into play.

I am a person that tries to go more than for what is being said that other signals, mostly because I am not good reading them. Is easier in media and more in animation since everything has a purpose and a reason to be; but in real life something that is being done and said in a certain tone can have another 50 factors not related to me and I have no way to know which one is which.

Something I learned along the way is that regardless if is a lie or the true, people say what they say because they want you to believe it; and the reason as to why they want you to think that can be more important than the actual answer at times.

Ultimately I think either read is valid because the situation is extremely ambiguous; Gwen doesn't take the next step to what would be actually dating, yet always stays close and makes sure to Miles to know that he is special to her and she sees him in a light different than everyone else, even if she can't bring herself to say which light.

Yet I can't see it in any other way because for me, she leaving his comment hanging after talking about not being a good idea, outweighs the rest.

Sorry to anyone who was expecting me to go into an even more in depth analysis to justify my point; but I had been on the internet for too long to think is a good idea to double down on something when you don't have a clue what you are talking about.

And I am glad we can hear other people out! I wanted to do these analysis because I think there is a lot of merit to what is going on in the screen that is worth talking.

So let's continue with the conversation, feel free to reblog with your own addendum or do your own post if you feel inclined.

[rabbitindisguise]

Oh, and to update my recently watched anime

favorite gay anime:

link click seasons 1 and 2 (ongoing, up to episode 9)

ayaka (ongoing, up to episode 10)

bungo stray dogs season 5 (ongoing, up to episode 8)

mononogatari seasons 1 and 2 (ongoing)

non-gay anime (shorter summaries):

my happy marriage - kind of has poly fodder but not of the best quality. I like the animation. Not a lot to say honestly

dark gathering - super scary, but very hopeful and slice of life simultaneously?? it's hard to describe. The little girl takes the role of boy prodigy and the main protagonist (the guy) needs to be rescued by her constantly because he attracts ghosts. A very interesting inversion of a standard anime trope.

comments for the rest under the cut!

link click

oh my god I don't know why I didn't watch this sooner. It's really good, the animation is gorgeous, and the time travel mechanics are possibly the most interesting ones I've ever seen in fiction ever. There are thought out limitations to the supernatural abilities like in bsd but in a subtle way- there's no government body explaining it, they're just making it up as they go along. The relationship between the two protagonists is also really interesting, it's definitely going to be on my rewatch list because of it.

ayaka

Surprisingly this has been one of my favorites- it hit a lot of tropes I'm not familiar with and definitely want to explore more in the future because they're giving me a lot of emotions. The tl;dr on the plot is a guy (J-something, green hair) who's willing to give his life away to protect his home islands, and him making re-establishing his friendship with the person he's going to be dying for (the water dragon) while the other guy has no idea that's what's happening. It's at the point in the season where I genuinely have no idea if green hair is going to live or die- the reveal was super gradual, going from the pov of the protagonist and transferring over to him and showing he's been dealing with all of this without telling anyone.

It also killed another character off the same way (dad, saved the island the first time) so I'm not sure if the power of friendship is going to save him, which is terrible. He even fits one of my favorite tropes of "guy who seems like he's slacking off is actually better than everyone else at his job" type of thing (aka kakashi). If he doesn't live I'm going to be sad about it on tumblr probably, and if he doesn't I'll be overjoyed and reblog spamming gifs so you'll all find out what happens lmao

bsd seasons 5

I mean I'm not sure I can say anything new about bsd because it's a gay staple of anime, except that maybe I liked this season a lot better than the last one because it incorporated a lot more characters I liked. The cliffhanger was kinda meh last season also. But this season has been really solid on the follow through, and it hasn't been full of really tedious flashbacks that detract from the usual interesting multilayer ongoing plotlines.

It also has dazai, and honestly he's the main reason I love the series- I don't really like some of the developments where his relationships with other characters go down darker paths though, or get simplified down or the subtext removed to make space for plot. The reveal that the several seasons of homoerotic subtext was because a character (angsty black tendrils guy) didn't have long to live is an example of that, the lack of a good explanation was why it was so compelling, so a so-so explanation is really disappointing. But! I guess it's fine because he keeps just building more relationships like that :') I really liked their trio though (dazai, tiger guy, and angsty guy), this scene lives in my head rent free

I feel like in the first couple seasons they had more to fight about, and now that some miscommunication has been resolved it feels like the emotional development between the characters hasn't carried over to the actions of the plot. Which is a huge bummer. A big draw of the series for me is the nuance of relationships between characters, and lately it's been greatly reduced in the ones I got attached to and lots of that energy has been dumped into characters I'm kind of lukewarm on. (Though even those relationships have been skimped on- there were like 0 longing or intense looks at all. Everyone instantly gets gayer around dazai but he's kind of ridiculously stiff ever since THIS scene

And yeah sure I'll never seriously ship him with anyone else, there's no coming back from that, but seriously if he's going to be like that I wish there were more flashbacks to this relationship so I could at least get more ship material to angst about before bed.)

mononogatari

This was rough getting into, but once I got past episode two there was a lot of great poly ship potential so it was totally worth it. It's a sweet slice of life style supernatural series, which is a nice change of pace. There's action but it's very emotional and in a more multilevel way than a lot of common anime where there is one main hero being supported by friends/community. There really isn't a main hero so the direction of support hits a lot of different directions, so the scenes where people talk about the support of others hit different, which I feel like is a big part of the poly appeal to me. Sword guy + botan + main protag is my main ship, but there are lots of other combos that work well.

[bluejaysgonerogue]

(venting) My Struggle with Dialogue

At a summer camp, when I was twelve and publishing my first fanfics on Wattpad (fond, but ugh), I let a crush/now-ex-partner of mine proofread a chapter I was working on. His biggest complaint was how dialogue-heavy it was, and said I should cut most of the verbal interactions. It felt balanced to twelve year old me between dialogue and description, but looking back it was probably heavier on the dialogue. But reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott has pointed out to me how much that interaction has affected my writing. I don't know how to write dialogue because, after that and in an attempt to impress him, I just stopped with dialogue.

I don't know how to write banter. I barely know how to talk to real people, and chat fics are always so cool to me because the writers take these characters, impersonate/let them speak, then create a complete and beautiful story from only dialogue. I want to write dialogue, don't get me wrong, but looking at Something Changing Your Mind, Alaina barely speaks. The main character, who is supposed to be a happy child, doesn't talk. Because I'm terrified of writing dialogue. Because the last time I wrote dialogue, it was criticized.

I know, I know. Bluejay, why are you letting this interaction that happened years ago affect you so much? I take criticism one of two ways; it is ignored, or it's taken so deep into my psyche that six years later it still bothers me immensely. And now I don't know how to start dialogue again. I guess that's the nice thing about writing fics borrowing scene from anime/shows, is that most of what's written down is dialogue. Sure, you can explain what was happening and what the characters are doing in a scene, but the important thing isn't that someone is polishing the silver, it's their thinly veiled verbal hits on the other character that matters in the scene. Its the same thing with plays, I guess. It's mostly (basically all) dialogue, then the performers fill in the rest.

I don't know how to improve and lean more dialogue-centric either, because whenever I do it just feels wrong. I know this character wouldn't say what I made them say, but I can't get their words onto the page. Even when it's one of my characters, like Alaina, speaking I feel utterly paralyzed when trying to make her talk. Maybe this is the horrible thing about my limited social interactions, that I don't know how to talk. I don't even observe anymore, as I ate alone at lunch and tuned out class conversations to focus on work the past two years, and I feel like a creep eavesdropping on people in cafes.

I'm just frustrated. I want to do all this great dialogue, be able to hear the characters speaking in my ears, I want to interpret what they say for everyone who reads to hear, but I feel like I can't. I know, I know, 'Can't' is a bad word. Don't put that energy out there, don't think about it or it'll come to you. I hear you. But I also need help. Most of the articles I find look at modifying something that already has dialogue. Not how to pull it out of your mind.

Any tips for making dialogue in the first place? Not formatting, or allowing subtext, stuff like that, but actually making the characters talk naturally instead of like robots (which is how I feel they speak/read).

[psychewritesbs]

Hi I loved your analysis on hana when she came out and I was wondering if you have seen the most recent manga leaks? If so do you think Hana and megumi will be a thing? Do you have any ideas of what might happen to hana's crush?

HOLA! You are very kind. Thank you. I am always grateful when people nerd out with me. I have to admit I'll never get over how wrong I was about Hana and that only makes me love her so much more.

She’s just such a cute character and I personally find her crush "precious" precisely because of how irrational it is.

Speculation and mental gymnastics under the cut...

meguhana

Do I think meguhana will be a thing? Let's see... I mean... I have no clue whether they'll be a thing in canon, but I like what their characters represent individually and as a pairing (usually a prereq of mine).

What I like about this pairing is the idea that opposites attract. With Megumi, you have a character that symbolizes metaphorical darkness, and with Hana you have a character that symbolizes metaphorical light.

I really like how this panel shows Hana as light by the way. And let's not forget that in JJK cursed technique is a metaphor for the sorcerer's personality--so, what does this light say about Hana's personality?

I've read some amazing takes about how Megumi's personality is shadow-like, not just in the depth psych way, but also in the ego sense of self way. Something along the lines of how quiet and aloof he is. Thank you to whomever shared this idea with me and I am sorry I did not do it justice with my poor explanation.

What's cool about this interplay between dark and light is that they very much need each other. Light casts shadows in much the same way darkness needs light. Or something like that...

So even if Gege doesn't pursue this symbolical interpretation of the characters, the characters still symbolize opposites. More on this in a bit.

I also think there's something to be said about Hana's character design resembling an idealized Guardian Angel figure. Especially as we see her in chapter 173.

I was super distrustful of her design initially (🤣), thinking that it was a red herring. As it turns out, her design is literally angelic-like.

So it makes me wonder whether she represents Megumi's protector or something like that.

In one of the anime adaptations of a Boy of Flanders, when the boy dies, he and his dog, Patrasche, get carried off to heaven by angels. Will Gege do anything with that idea?...

But her cursed technique, Jacob's Ladder, also gives us a clue. In the Bible, Jacob has a dream about a ladder connecting heaven and the Earth:

"He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. There above it stood the Lord."

In the end, however, I guess she's like one of the angels walking up and down Jacob's Ladder. Hey it's me talking about Jacob's Ladder yet again! And if Urizen is at the top of the ladder, then that kind of means that Gege might be saying that reason = light, and instinct = darkness.

While Hana may represent one of the angels walking up and down the ladder, Megumi's Kon, as a symbol of the grey wolf, amongst other things, represents instinct.

In addition, Megumi also has a black and white view of good (light, reason) and evil (darkness, instinct).

With symbolism like this, there's a call to unifying opposites. This makes me wonder what that could mean for a pairing like meguhana.

So... do I think they'll become a pairing? Only time will tell if, canonically, Gege gives us an in-your-face type of confirmation. Not subtext, because subtext is always up for interpretation, but rather, undeniably in-your-face confirmation.

As a head-canon, while I am personally not emotionally attached to the pairing, I like what they represent. Either way, for those who might ship it, the pairing is full of fun and juicy symbolism because they are yin and yang, so I can totally see the appeal.

One of my favorite ships ever is actually a yin and yang pairing. The main difference between seisub and meguhana is that seisub's love language is getting killed by the Beloved. I have odd tastes in shipping in case it wasn't immediately apparent lol.

Hana's crush

As for what might happen to Hana's crush... ok but like... asf;ovahud f asdfj;j there's a legit science to keyboard smash and I have yet to master it.

Hana needs a hug after what Sukuna did to her.

Messing with a girl's innocence like that...

Days since I was able to accept inner-evil, Sukuna: 0.

I mean... the way Hana is brutalized by Sukuna is just so cruel. I'm only stating the obvious here when I say that Hana was blinded by her feelings for Megumi, creating an opening for Sukuna to exploit the lapse of judgment Hana's feelings created.

That is not to mention that the open invitation Sukuna gave Hana--look at his body language, his hand is stretched up and reaching towards her, palm open as if expecting to receive...

... was interpreted by Hana as an invitation to reach for Megumi and confess her feelings for him because she had saved him the way he once saved her.

To be honest, Hana's desire to save Megumi because Megumi had saved him once, felt very Yuji-like to me.

The difference between Yuji and Hana is that Yuji has gone on to have and nurture a relationship with Megumi.

And that's the thing about Hana getting fooled in the first place: Hana's obsession with Megumi is completely irrational. As far as we know as of chapter 221, Hana only met Megumi once before in her life, and yet she thinks of him as "her destined one" and even calls him "my Megumi".

Let's overpsychologize Hana's crush for a little bit because, like Yorozu, Hana suffers from "I only saw him once and I was struck by electric love" syndrome.

(source)

And you might think this is a criticism of her and her character, but quite the opposite, I find Hana so relatable because of her crush.

There's a reason I love the post above and I 100% agree with it. And op also strikes me as someone who's never felt the irrationality of falling in love with someone you hardly know, especially when you haven't been modeled what a healthy relational dynamic is and isn't.

Boundaries and self-respect aren't something we are always born with, it is something that needs to be taught and learned.

So... Is Hana's obsession with Megumi a trauma response type bond? Or was she blinded by her own light?

What if it's both?

I think we can assume from the conditions she was in that Hana's obsession can be considered a result of the abuse she experienced as a child.

It's almost like she was desperately reaching for some semblance of someone caring for her in the uncaring world she was raised in. After all, she was basically a feral child raised by a curse for the purpose of becoming it's next meal.

But there's still something to be said about a couple of axioms of falling in love like...

the idea that falling in love is a random experience that can almost feel is orchestrated by fate,

the idea that falling in love is an inevitable experience--your rational mind simply has no say in the matter, and

the idea that you don't fall in love with just any person, but rather your soul recognizes another soul because this other person carries and resonates with the image of your soul

Also, when you fall in love, you just know--it is a very distinct experience. You are either initiated into the mysteries of falling in love, or you aren't. If you are, then you know what I'm talking about.

You see, while I agree that love at first sight is often an unrealistic projection, I also subscribe to depth psych's definition of such bonds. In depth psych, this "love at first sight" type of bond is of divine origins--it's considered a religious experience that transforms your sense of self.

Again, you don't just fall in love with any one person, but rather, with the person who carries the image of your soul, your own divinity.

In that sense, if, like Hana you are in love with a guy you only met once, you are thinking with the heart (instinct), and not the mind (reason).

And in depth psych, the Heart has direct access to the soul in a way that the ego mind doesn't.

So, yes, love at first sight is completely irrational. IT IS MEANT TO BE COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL--there is no other way about it and that's the whole point.

ALL OF THAT TO SAY that I feel very protective of Hana's crush. Hana's crush is something sacred to me that needs to be nurtured and love bombed. Especially with the way fandom reacted to her crush.

Like OMG give the poor girl a break!

So, yes, her crush is intense and irrational, but that doesn't make it a lesser expression of love. The test of true love comes after the obsession is grounded in reality and after her ego sense of self has been transformed.

I think it's also important to remember these are teenage kids fighting metaphorical grown up battles. So Hana having a crush is 300% realistic.

In addition, given her age, Hana may or may not be mature enough to ground her obsession into a more realistic perception of Megumi, and Megumi may or may not reciprocate her feelings.

But I headcanon that none of that matters because, as Jung would say, “the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed”.

So I'd be looking forward to how Hana is changed by this experience of bouncing back from betrayal--it also seems to me like, in retrospect, she's very aware that she wasn't betrayed by Megumi, but rather, Sukuna.

In a nutshell, I think what we'll see is Hana continuing to have a crush, after all, crushes don't go away so easily.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure we'll see much more depth to any of the themes I wrote about, as jjk is moving at lightning speed, because Hana suffers from "side character" syndrome, and/or because Gege may not be interested in exploring them.

Anyways! I hope this answers your questions in the way that only I know how to answer asks! By going around in circles before making my point, or by going on a crazy tangent that sort of not really answered your ask.

Thanks for sending the ask and inviting me to brainrot about this!

Oh, before I forget, Spooky wrote about Hana and Megumi over here if you're interested in a complementary take.

[erosia-rhodes]

Top 9 Newbie thoughts on Supernatural after Six Months of Madness

I started watching Supernatural a week before the series finale, and full disclosure, it was only because I heard about the gay angel. I loved me some Good Omens, so I decided to check out a series my only previous thoughts about had been, "Is that show still on?" In the past six months, I've watched about fifty percent of the episodes scattered across all fifteen seasons. I've also spent time following the bonkers-in-the-best-way fandom on Tumblr, and here is what I have learned:

1) Everyone who loves Supernatural also hates Supernatural

No one is capable of praising this show without also trashing it. Supernatural is as awful as it is awesome. Watching Supernatural is like hate-fucking your nemesis against a wall; you're totally conflicted about it, but it's enormously pleasurable and you know you're going to do it over and over again. No one has a pure, untainted love for this show. They only have complicated emotions. This is because…

2) The fact that the show needs to be fixed is an essential part of its appeal

Strangely, if this show were better, it wouldn't be as popular. If you love a show that is perfect, you watch it once or twice or thrice, make a bunch of memes, and move on with your life two years later when you find something else to hyper-fixate on. If you love a show that's broken, you spend the rest of your life obsessed with fixing it. It's the crooked photo hanging on the wall that yearns to be straightened (because, you know, this show is bad at making things straight). It's the stray dog you know would be adoptable if you fattened it up and socialized it with your other dogs, and just like some people can't stop rescuing animals, Supernatural fans can't stop thinking about how to fix a show that isn't great, but could be with a flea bath and a trip to the groomers. Supernatural fans are not fans of the actual show, but of the show they imagine it could be, one that only exists in an alternate universe. They are in love with the Platonic ideal of Supernatural. That's also the reason why…

3) The fans understand the characters and themes better than 95% of the people who worked on the show

The people who watch Supernatural have thought about it way, way, way, more than anyone who produced it. I have read complex essays about what the color of people's clothing imply and how the state of the Impala reflects the state of Dean's mental health and other things I'm certain this show did not do intentionally. People can find depth in the shallowest aspects of this series. Any random fan could explain the complicated dynamics of the Winchester family and the overriding themes of the series better than most of the people who worked on it. That includes the LGBTQ stuff, which leads to the fact that…

4) The show is simultaneously too gay and not gay enough

On one end of the spectrum are fans who are offended you would dare to suggest one of the Winchesters might like kissing a boy and they'll shove you in a locker and duct tape your butt cheeks together for it. On the other end of the spectrum are fans who think it's odd that every episode doesn't end with two attractive men dry humping in a dark corner of the bunker library. No one is happy with the level of gayness on this show. It's always got too much "No Homo" or too much queer subtext, which is why I've concluded that…

5) The audience this show wanted is not the audience they got and they are resentful of it

The original pitch for this show targeted a male demographic who’s into toxic masculinity in a non-ironic way. It was about bros and beers and muscle cars and shotguns and hot chicks who will be killed to further the man's storyline. However, when making that show, they accidentally created a show that attracted female viewers who liked speculating about the queer subtext of each scene while looking at pretty men with traumatic backstories fight back their man tears. The show depends on the unintended audience segment to survive, but is bitter about it, which they remind you of time and time again by killing the female and non-white characters and toying with endless queer-baiting. It's like the writers got a plane to Rome, ended up in a gay nightclub in Amsterdam instead, and even though the canals and tulips make it a lovely city to visit, they wanted to go to Rome, damnit, and they'll never let you forget it! I also suspect that…

6) The people who made this show were at constant war with each other

This show has such a split personality. Sometimes it leans into the gay stuff and other times it makes fun of it outright. Sometimes they'll introduce an interesting side character that could make the show more diverse and then they'll slaughter that person for practically no reason. Sometimes they praise free will and other times they force people down pre-destined paths. The writers feel like a dysfunctional family stuck at Thanksgiving dinner endlessly squabbling with each other—who then had to write a TV show together over dessert. That's why it's such a weird hot mess. The show's unevenness makes me think that…

7) Some people's attachment to the show can only be explained by the fact that it imprinted on them when they were young

Some fans have mentioned they started watching Supernatural when they were kids. It's a pretty common experience to go back and watch things you loved when you were a kid and realize they were…not so good. Your memories of them are far better than the reality of them, but you cling to them anyway. The shows you watch when you're young imprint on you in a way you never forget. Supernatural fans are like a baby duck who looks up at a cat and assumes it’s their mother. Then that cat slices open their poor little hearts, leaving them wounded but not dead, forever be toyed with in agony. The only relief is that…

8) The fandom is batshit insane in the best way

I started following the Supernatural fandom on Tumblr in November of 2020 and OMG, it was AH-MAZE-ING. It was total insanity. I didn't understand half of what was going on, but it was more fun than a yard full of puppies doing zoomies. People were posting detailed PowerPoint presentations theorizing how the series would end, citing extensive physical evidence like the background in Misha's hotel room. People learned election results through Supernatural memes. Destiel went canon every other week. When the Spanish dub was released, Tumblr literally crashed! Obama's Twitter was following a Destiel account. There was a Twitter wedding for Destiel on Valentine's Day, which made the one-month anniversary on Pi Day.

It's been a ride, y'all. I have no idea how you guys survived fifteen years of this. The fandom has been so much fun that I actually sat down and watched more than 100 hours of this show so I could understand everything better. It's like the show is an extension of the fandom instead of vice versa. If anything sums up Supernatural for me, that's it. It's all about the fandom and the show is secondary to that. It's like the fans willed the show into existence as part of some partially botched spell. And part of that twisted spell is that…

9) The show will never die until someone finds its bones and burns them

This show has been off the air for more than six months now and it keeps trending on Tumblr consistently. Misha recently trended on Twitter simply because he was at the Oscars. That was it! He didn't even do anything there, he just attended, and some people figured it out by the reflection in a photo posted by someone else! And just as I was proofreading this post, Destiel started trending again because John Cena is a stan or something? This fandom is crazy and unpredictable and I love it like Dean loves pie! If there ever does come a time when this show stops trending, that will be the moment when they decide to reboot it or revisit it.

There is a lot more I could say about this show, but these were the elements that seemed most unique and bizarre about it. I wouldn't say Supernatural is a ride-or-die fandom for me, and I have no intention of watching another 100 hours of this series, but it's been hella' fun to drop in for a while. The show is just as much a dysfunctional mess as the Winchester family and I guess that's why people love it, right?

[seventeenlovesthree]

Anime like to make their main protagonists omnishippable, and like I pointed out a million times before, Digimon is no exception here. Regardless of what season you take - and even though the series NEVER primarily focussed on romance -, they’ll make sure the gogglehead will have an interesting and well-thought out bond with the majority of the rest of the cast. You’ll always find a few exceptions here and there, but that mostly applies if the cast is too huge and thus there’s not chance to give the character equal bonding opportunities. 

Y’all know I love to ramble about how “shippable” Taichi is. The interesting part here is - it’s basically all fun and games as long as you just look at 01, 02 and the reboot (minus the epilogue). But if you add Tri and Kizuna into the mix, chances are high that your Taichi ship will go through unnecessary hardships. Tri, because Digimon simply doesn’t work if you put too much emphasis on ship teasing and Kizuna because... It’s an extension of the Taichi!suffer p*rn Tri already put you through. 

So it’s all pretty depressing.

You have all the ust between him and his antithesis, who actually loves him a lot, but ends up too emotionally conflicted and thus ends up just screaming and shouting, even if there would be great mutual healing opportunities that are never fully explored, but only alluded to.

You have his childhood best friend, his almost telepathically connected football partner he used to have a great bond with, who (eventually) ends up with the friend who’s emotionally conflicted, but there’s still a lot of (unnecessary) tension and you simply get the feeling that they grew apart at some point and don’t really seem able to even make a properly functioning friendship work anymore.

You have his other best friend who used to be his partner in crime, but they don’t even seem as close and connected as they used to anymore either, because - similarly to the other two options - they just don’t talk about their issues and blame everything on themselves, even though the tendency to make sacrifices for each other is still there. Doesn’t help that their mental health problems make them appear to not be equal anymore, which was what made the brawns/brains combination so appealing.

I maintain that the others aren’t as viable as options in this point in time, but that may just be my personal impression. In the end, you may argue that, since Digimon was never supposed to be a romantic show, this is all just a question of perspective. And in the end, it absolutely isn’t unrealistic for these things to happen, for people to miscommunicate and drift apart - Digimon actually never shyed away from realistic portrayals of human interactions. I guess it’s just sad - and ironic. This show, on one hand, offers such a great opportunity to get lost in this foreign world with little monster companions, it’s a precious power fantasy and thus the aspect of shipping is just one of several that makes it extra appealing. On the other hand, there’s something eerily realistic about the relationships - and thus, all the trauma, all the heartbreaking stuff we see happening there breaks through the illusion of it all being escapism, so it pulls you right back into reality.

If we just take the three options up there, trope wise, the foil/antithesis, the female best friend and the male best friend are obviously the most appealing shipping choices for the main character. And you can definitely write about that, draw about it, because it’s THERE, some parts are in the text, others more in the subtext of it all. Doesn’t mean that you’ll get that happy end for either of them. Which, at first glance, is sad because you literally saw these characters grow up, with some gaps in between you can merely guess about, but you’re still rooting for them to find happiness.

I guess that’s one of the reasons why the series is still popular - not only because there’s still content being produced about it, but because it’s these characters, these (potential) relationships that make you wonder how it’ll all develop. And I kinda understand why the reboot was driving a rather safe route, while STILL giving these combinations a lot of time to shine - because it’s not easy to “end” these threads in a way that would be satisfying for the audience. We’ve known them all for so long and no matter what would implied to become canon, what would be changed about the original. People would probably rage. Because it’s that real. And sad. And not as ideal as we’d all like it to be.

[mika-meowz]

MIKA. IT IS TIME TO RAMBLE ABOUT YOUR HYPERFIXATIONS. ALSO YOUR KNUCKLES ARE RECHARGED. YOU CAN CRACK THEM AGAIN.

OH SHIT NIIIICE

*CRACKS KNUCKLES*

ALRIGHT SO IM NOT SURE IF ITS A HYPERFIXATION BUT IVE BEEN REALLY INTO DANGANRONPA LATELY (SPOILERS AHEAD)

I HAD BEEN REALLY INTO IT A FEW YEARS AGO BUT I STOPPED WATCHING IT BECAUSE I WAS REALLY SAD ABOUT LEON'S DEATH AND FELT STUPID FOT CRYING ABOUT IT

AFTER THAT I WAS TOLD ABOUT MONDOS DEATH AND HAD THE FEELING I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT

BUT NOW I STARTED ACTUALLY GETTIBG BACK INTO IT BECAUSE OF MAD HATTEY'S ANIMATICS

SO

HERE'S SOME HOT TAKES AND FUN FACTS I GUESS

-As far as I can tell, Mondo didn't hate crime Chihiro??? Although Chihiro's character can definetly be read as such and I do personally agree with the theory, I don't think she's stated to be trans in game- but hey! Maybe I should trust the subtext especially with the new Summer camp game thing that came out recently!! (Where I'd like to point out- Mondo is accepting of Chihiros secret) BUT ILL TRY TO KEEP THIS ABOUT THE FORST GAME

I thought Mondo killed Chihiro because she called herself weak for keeping a secret for so long. Mondo felt like he was indirectly being called weak for keeping a secret for so long too and snapped under the weight of potentially losing the gang and being called weak after his weakness is what he believes got his brother killed- plus, yknow, the whole stress of being stuck in a killing game

Plus didn't he make the extra effort to keep her secret even after she died?

Does that make murdering alright? No! But I don't think it was a hate crime like I keep seeing people say? Feel free to share your opinion tho because this is just what I think

-Apparently its mentioned that Sonia takes care of the Devas after Gundham dies

-I just generally love Gundham. So much/p

-Did you know there's a theory that Ibuki and Gundham are siblings? I really like it

-The anime's pretty good! (Well, the Despair Arc is at least, I haven't seen the rest shdgdhgd) VERY GOREY THO BE CAFEFUL. LIKE ITS MORE THAN JUST DEAD BODIES THERES LIKE TORTURE N CHAINSAES IN SHIT

-The way Toko is written did not agr well at ALL in my opinion

-Im so on the fence about how to feel about Mikan, though I do feel bad for all of yhe trip scenes she has. Just. Whyd they do her like that

-Did you know that during Mondo's execution, Taka was crying and screaming to stop the execution, but we just didn't hear it because of the music??? :>>>> it hurts me so bad

-FUCK V3S ENDING FUCK V3S ENDING FUCK V3S ENDING F

[fbfh]

I mean, you did ask - leo x reader

all  characters are aged up to 18+ for smexy subtext

word count: 2k

pairing: leo x gn child of calliope reader

genre: adventure, romance, hints at a lowkey soulmate au

summary: after a bumpy reunion turned interrogation with your friends, you finally prove to Leo that you’re someone worth catching up with

warnings: swearing, friends hold you at knife point (for good reason) memory loss, dimesion/reality travel, the phrase “horrible sexy little goose” not about an actual animal, moderate time difference between worlds, reader is acting like a cocky piece of shit half the time, you call yourself sexy a lot, annabeth slaps reader and reader is unbothered, reader and leo hae very visceral reactions upon seeing each other, piper picks up on this, moderately aggressive face grabbing, discussing personal info with someone somewhat privately, brief mentions of hand holding and hair pulling during sex, you spill tea about the rest of the demisquad, I think that’s it pls tell me if I missed any

song rec: choke - i don’t know how but they found me

a/n: this is from a very vivid daydream I had so er ah if reader seems op coded that’s cause she is uwu

You were excited to reunite with your friends after so long, but being tied up and held hostage at knifepoint by the people you love who don’t even remember you wasn’t the welcome wagon you were hoping for. Then again, as a child of Calliope, you can’t say you’re surprised. 

Apollo has a lot of kids, but demigod children of the muses are exceptionally less common. They’re volatile, really powerful, extremely engrossed in their art, and usually care more about their latest thesis paper or painting or manuscript than going on quests, and more often than not have very specific powers. You, for example, love quests but feel like you never get to go on any, usually because you’re fighting monsters somewhere else. One fun little power you inherited from your mom is - somewhat involuntary - dimension shifting. 

A lot of times you just get summoned somewhere else, with a little inherent background knowledge and your weapon, set free into the new world like a horrible sexy little goose. There’s usually some kind of objective you need to meet; find this person, set something in motion, give someone support in a time of need, deliver a package. After that, you get sent back to your family at camp half blood. The catch, one of them at least, is that a few days Somewhere Else could be no more than a few minutes in your homeverse. 

Another catch is that because of all that, and the fact that you wouldn’t know how to begin explaining, let alone if anyone would believe you, no one knows you can do this yet. Chiron has an idea, but you’ve never told anyone outright. 

You guess now is as good of a time as any to come clean, as Percy holds his sword threateningly close to your neck. You let out a disbelieving laugh, and bite the inside of your cheek.

“Okay, okay… you want the truth?” he starts to back off, and you continue, leaning forward, “I’m not surprised you’d want to know where someone this sexy-” your words cut off as Annabeth’s hand slaps you across the face. You let out a laugh of disbelief, cheek stinging.

“A cheap shot, Annabeth? Wow, I really didn’t take you for the type,” she grabs your face, leaning in close, knife once again against your throat. 

"How do you know my name." She hisses, and behind her, the door opens. Messy dark curls peek over her head in your vision and you know instantly who it is. Your heart starts pounding, loud and hard, and something heavy starts swirling deep in your gut. Your eyes lock as soon as he enters the room and an instinctive smile blooms on your face, knowing what's inevitably on its way. 

"Hey Sparky…" 

Your voice, slow and drawling (and, he'd be lying if he didn't say kind of very sexy) impales him as soon as he enters the room. He watches your pupils expand, eyes locked, immediately swept away by your magnetic aura. A fox like grin decorates your pretty face, and he gets the feeling you know more than you let on. Way more. He's so drawn to you on a guttural level, way more than he's ever been to someone before. His face is hot, and when you slowly wink at him, he feels flames erupt on his cheeks. It takes him a second to put it out, feeling your white hot gaze on him the entire time. 

Piper, who's been helping with your interrogation, looks back and forth between you two as this progresses, taking in a breath and mumbling a shocked, "Oh," as she begins to understand. 

"How are those repairs coming?" Jason asks, oblivious to everything that's happening between you two. 

"Uh… nearly done…" Leo mutters, watching as you hold back an elated giggle at the sound of his voice. You never forget how good it feels to see him again, but the fresh feeling is always better than you can imagine. Jason glances between you two, and walks over to Leo, suspicious of your interest in him. 

"I'll walk you back," Jason says, glaring at you. Your eyes stay locked with Leo's until the door finally closes again. Piper stares at you, bewildered by the tension turned to frantic energy crackling around both you and Leo. She can sense it on him even after he's out of the room. 

Annabeth finally drops your face, pacing and pinching the bridge of her nose. Percy slams him hands down on the table and levels his face with yours. 

"I'm gonna ask you one last time. How do you know us?" 

You stare at the table for a second, still thinking about him. You have to see him again. You’ve waited for too long, you just can’t do it anymore. 

“H- okay. Um,” You blink a few times, facade falling away almost instantly as you look up in a silent prayer that this doesn’t go as badly as you feel like it will. You sigh, looking back up at the other people in the room, a new, deliberate intention in your eyes that they hadn’t seen before. 

“You want to know why I’m here?” 

Their answer is the silence that follows.

“You’re not gonna believe me.” They look around at each other, collectively thinking about everything they’ve been through in the last year alone.

“Try us.” Annabeth replies. You sigh again, and introduce yourself. “...I’m a child of Calliope, muse of epic poetry, and I know you all because we grew up together. One of the fun - quirks, I inherited from my mom is traveling into different stories, or realities, I guess. It’s hard to control, and sometimes happens involuntarily. I adapt to wherever I am, and the universe sort of auto adjusts to follow the rules that stories have to follow. 

The reason you don’t remember me is because I was gone for a really long time, and your story had to keep going. Trying to find me wouldn’t have moved the plot forward, questioning where I went would have been confusing, so it did the simplest thing and edited me out so you could get closer to meeting your objectives.”

Once again, their silence is your answer. 

“Guys, sidebar.” Annabeth says, pulling Percy, Jason, and Piper out of the room for a moment. The come back in a little while later, and she looks you dead in the eye.

“If you really know us as well as you say you do, prove it. Tell us you’d only know if we were as close as you say we were.” 

You sigh yet again, having lost count at how many times that’s happened today alone. You roll your shoulders and bob your head, irritable that you’re still restrained and itching to move. 

“Is there anything we can do before the whole tell me something really personal thing?” 

Percy looks at you, challenging.

“Can you do it or not?”

Another noise of exasperation leaves you, and you agree, resignation all over your face.

“You know what, yeah. Okay, we’re doing this. Someone go get Leo.” An involuntary smile once again launches onto your face at the mention of his name. Jason starts to object. 

“Hey, I’m not going to spill something personal about someone when they’re not in the room.” They agree reluctantly, and Jason leaves, returning again with Leo. You look at him again, enraptured by his presence. He can’t say he doesn’t like the attention - a hottie like you looking at him like that? Yes, please - but something about it feels different, and he gets the feeling there’s a lot more going on than they’re aware of. 

You nod your head once, indicating for him to come closer. He gets a little closer. You widen your eyes, nodding two more times, and he hesitantly gets within whispering distance. 

You turn your head to your left, dangerously close to his face. He can feel his pulse already speeding up. Heat radiates between your faces, your breath fanning over his neck as you whisper slowly,

“You really… really like holding hands, and when I pull your hair during sex.” 

He pulls away from you quickly, beet red, bewildered expression obvious to everyone in the room. “H-how-”

“How do you think?” You reply calmly, loving everything about him, “Okay, to be fair…” you nod once more, eyes flaring, and he leans in once again, equally hesitant and curious. Your words tickle his ear, seeming to light up his entire nervous system like a firecracker.

“I really really like when you bite that spot on my neck, just below my ear.” 

He pulls away again, trying not to literally and figuratively combust. He stares in your eyes intensely, searching for anything besides the truth. He finds absolutely nothing. He turns around, unable to look his friends in the eye. 

“They’re legit, guys.” 

“Wait, what did you say to him?” Piper asks, unsure if she wants to know the answer. 

“Yeah,” Annabeth agrees, “what if it’s some kind of mind control-” Your deep, burning desire to finally hold Leo after god knows how long is starting to beat your better judgement, and you really, really want to be untied from this stupid chair. “Annabeth! Your favorite show was Cyber Chase growing up, you used to come up with plans on how to defeat Hacker, your best was cutting off his food supply - good strategy, I’ve used it before, myself. 

Percy, you feel like you can’t sing because you were forced to participate in an elementary school recital and some kid called you tonedeaf behind your back, it kicked you right in the RSD balls. 

Piper, you’re a closet weeb, you watched Ouran High School Host club obsessively and still do sometimes, you fell for Jason because he had, quote, 'Tamaki's looks and Kyoya's brains, the ideal man'. 

Jason, that scar on your lip is from biting a stapler as a child-"

"Okay, everyone knows that-"

"-and," you continue, showing no signs of stopping, "the reason you ate the stapler is because you were pretending to be a trash compactor because you saw one on TV. 

Nico is totally not right outside the door keeping guard right now, but if he were and you asked him if he likes the diary of a wimpy kid movies he'll ask how the hell you know that - should I continue."

Again, the answers are in the silence hovering in the room. 

“I think it’s about time to catch me up on what I missed.” 

A beat passes.

“Right,” Annabeth says, blinking and readjusting her ponytail as she sits down across from you, Percy already taking the bindings off of your wrists, “so, about the quest…”

She starts to fill you in on the details you missed, bringing you up to speed. After a little while you all decide to call it a night. Piper senses your energy ramping up in spite of the exhaustion settling in. You finally bid them all good night, but Piper’s not sold by your forced yawns. After what feels like another lifetime, you finally leave the room you’ve been in for hours with one objective. 

You can’t stay away from him anymore, you have to find Leo. 

After navigating a maze of hallways and doors, you finally push open the right one to see him looking up at you, and find yourself saying for the second time tonight,

“Hey, Sparky…” 

His heart is racing, and he gets that heavy, full feeling in his chest again, not having fully shaken it from the last time you saw each other. Looking into your eyes makes him nostalgic for something he can’t quite remember, and he knows with full certainty that you have more history than he’s aware of. He wants more than anything in this moment to remember. He sets down the wrench in his hand, taking a step toward you.

“Hey…”

[herstarburststories]

illicit love

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader

Summary: Jensen loves you, but sometimes love isn’t the right thing.

A/N: Hey, guys! All we needed was a newish fic to say that I was really back, here it is! This one goes for @negans-lucille-tblr 6k challenge. So glad you got to another millestone, honey. It's like I was posting my part for your 5k celebration just yesterday! xD Prompt in bold.

Warnings: age gap, cheating

Jensen Ackles kept squinting through the bricks of his memory in an attempt to recall where it all began. Maybe it was when he drove off the road he had known for years with the dumbfounded desire to take the trails yet traveled, threading his fingers through your hair on the night of September 7th. He could’ve chosen the easy out and say it all started to crumble with the first kiss, but no. The actor, father, and now horrible husband highly doubted that. No, as he unwound the convoluted wires in his mind, it wasn’t the first clandestine meeting that he saw as the beginning, not the first kiss or the primal stolen glances. It wasn’t even the lies or the way he pushed his body against yours in an act of illicit faith.

Like any grand mistake, it was way before that. Just like how the church not-so-gently advised, it all starts with craving something you never thought you would want.

It happened when he landed the job in a new series after leaving a fifteen-year-long rollercoaster, pushing away any real witness to the fact the old show that swallowed part of his soul was over. There was a certain shock of excitement misplaced by the fact he was going to be working with Eric again, and that the show was an abrupt change considering what he had been doing previously. Now, he believed it was his body’s particular way of telling him that — as the savage animals can sense rain or a calamity — this, baby, this is gonna change your life.

JENSEN ACKLES CAST AS SOLDIER BOY!

‘’Since when have you read comics?’’ Jensen arched his messy eyebrows at Dee’s curiosity about the Homelander and Soldier Boy panel making it to the screen. Shaking the comic book in his right hand slightly, he continued: ‘’Especially that kind.’’

‘’Never,’’ Danneel stated plainly, “but I have Google. It was pretty much the first thing that appeared.’’

‘’Well, Eric said that scene won't be on the screen. Besides, the portrayal won't be that Soldier Boy, but the original one who died in the war. ‘Course, he wouldn’t have died there in our show, but it ain’t the panel one.’’ He shrugged, bringing her closer to his side as she snuggled against him. ‘’There’ll be a bunch of Herogasm, which is basically drugs and sex. Just not with Homelander.’’

Danneel nodded at his explanation, humor clinging to her words as she added: ‘’Guess the only man I have to share you with is still Jared.’’

‘’Hey, you knew what you were getting yourself into.’’ Jensen scoffed playfully before kissing her cheek. ‘’Can't wait to start the show.’’

Jensen leaned forward to rest the comic that he had been religiously studying to form a psychological character profile on the dashboard of the Impala. The actor was spending plenty of hours inside his most palpable Supernatural souvenir -- Baby. His safe place. He sure as hell needed one of those, as molding a whole character that has a bunch of source material wasn’t as easy as he pictured. With Dean, he was putting himself and the script in one until it made his imaginary best friend. It was love at the first sight. Soldier Boy, however, was a long story short. Jensen figured he should do both, honor the character created and add his own special ingredients to it. It was a brand new kind of passion that he hadn’t done for a series in the longest time. Still, his glance trailed back to the woman by his side in the backseat.

‘’Let's hope it won't last another decade,” she mocked.

Jensen shook his head with a chuckle, relaxing against the leather seat. Even the mere smell of the Impala was enough to settle his nerves. ‘’Eric has plans for five seasons.’’

Danneel’s features contorted as if having war flashbacks. Sort of. She never imagined Supernatural would make it that far, and now with three kids, signing on for another excessively time-consuming idea for a new show didn’t seem too appealing either. Yet, she would support Jensen in any decision he’d take regarding his job. “Remind me the last time I heard that line before?” 

‘’Come on.’’ He let out a wry huff, poking her side in a playful manner. She couldn't help but laugh, returning the gesture with tickles to start a very light-hearted battle. He seemed happy with the new job, something Danneel truly thought he would have more difficulty with. She’d pushed her weathered worries away with his easy-going laughter for now.

SOLDIER BOY’S LOVE INTEREST?

Eric Kripke threw the gossip magazine on the table, his eyes not straying from his long-time friend’s. He could’ve simply added the digital article to an irate email and be done with it, but he was a simple man with extravagant taste. That had been usual through his whole career, especially regarding the Supernatural aesthetic. Yet, in those mundane situations, Jensen almost found it too much. That wasn’t the case, though. If anything, the plain, yet still overpowering words that his green eyes scanned made his body sweat. He could even hear his organs working from the absolute silence of the blame that covered the room. Kripke’s room had never seemed more like an interrogation chamber than now.

The magazine in question held Jensen and your picture on the cover, his arms wrapped around your torso as he pulled you close. The most sequin smile hung from your lips like happiness was something that could be touched on that sunny day in the private park near the studio. Giant and garish letters made the headline along with the subline: Jensen Ackles wearing his Soldier Boy costume caught sharing a passionate kiss with the new arrival of The Boy’s Team: Y/N Y/L/N, also known on-screen as Cangaceira!

His voice came out as an accusation: ‘’What’s this, Jensen?’’

‘’We were…’’ The director just waved his hand to interrupt.

‘’Don’t try saying you were practicing a scene because I wrote the Soldier Boy and Cangaceira kiss, and it wasn’t here.’’ Acid tainted his words with no space for fake niceties on his set. Jensen remained in the chair, not even daring to make the most subtle move. Eric knew where he was hitting, and Ackles deserved a punch in the jaw. “The sex scene wasn’t here either, but you two added a lot of erotic subtext. Trust me, I know.’’

His shoulders fell in exhaustion. ‘’Eric…’’

‘’You’re lucky we were going to make those two a couple anyway. I can just put the kiss here and save your ass. What if that wasn’t the case, huh?’’ the director continued, more interested in spilling out his anger than listening to dumb excuses. ‘’What about Danneel, Jensen? You have a wife and kids, for God’s sake!’’

The breaking point. Jensen rose to his feet with sudden frustration, a growl leaving his lips as he pushed the chair to the side with uncharacteristic brutality. How could Eric bring up his family like this? And how could Jensen’s heart not bring them up when he kissed you before?  It was all a fucking mess, and he had no choice but to choke down whatever came out of it, even if it was poison and spite.

‘’Fuck, Eric! Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think it doesn’t pull me apart every time I go home and know I’m lying to the people who love me?’’ The vein on his neck popped as he spoke, emotion gushing thicker through his arteries than blood. Woe remerged under his skin as he swallowed dryly, resting his hands on the table and looking down. That wasn’t him. He had done a lot of things that weren't him lately. ‘’I have enough guilt here, pal.’’

Eric just glared down at the man’s outburst, furrowing before asking, ‘’What’s going on, Jay? You don’t just get up and cheat on your wife. That ain’t you.’’

He shook his head. ‘’I don’t know. Y/N’s just…’’

‘’At least 20 years younger than you,” he stated. ‘’Just starting her career and might be getting the homewrecker title if someone finds out.’’

‘’I won’t let that happen.’’

‘’How? You are gonna be more careful or will you cut it out and go back to your wife and three kids?’’ When Ackles didn’t respond, Eric sighed. ‘’Just stop this, Jensen. Let her go.’’

Jensen scoffed humorlessly. ‘’I can’t.’’

Kripke felt like talking to a teenager. He shook his head as he got up. ‘’Do you have any idea what you’re doing here? This could destroy your family, destroy Y/N’s chance to make a name when you already have your own. That’s selfish in all proportions, Jensen!’’

‘’I know, I know.’’

‘’She deserves more than this and —’’

‘’I know.’’

‘’You are gonna mess up everyone’s lives —’’

‘’I know!’’ He slammed the table and winced, turning around with his hands on his head. If only he could stop his thoughts for a second and reorganize his feelings. ‘’Do you think it doesn’t rip my heart out that I can’t love her?’’

‘’Who?’’ The burning question was ready to set everything ablaze. ‘’You can’t love Y/N, or you can’t love your wife anymore, Jensen?’’

He couldn’t love you in public. He couldn’t love Danneel anywhere. Love just escaped through his reaches when you spoke his name like a prayer, and it was time to accept that.

‘’Both.’’

NO CHICK FLICK MOMENTS: SOLDIER BOY AND CANGACEIRA TALK ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THEIR RELATIONSHIP

‘’It's amazing to portray with Jensen. I’ve watched Supernatural since I was like twelve, which probably isn't advisable.’’ You chortled, answering the reporter’s question. Your body could barely contain your excitement under your skin, although, why would you want that? You did it. You got the job you had dreamed and worked hard for. To a bonus, you were working with Jensen Ackles! If there was someone that had earned the right to scream to the sky until your face was the color of the red carpet your heels currently stood on, it was you. ‘‘I was even a Samgirl!’’

Jensen faked a gasp next to you, a light spectrum surrounding the interview. ‘’Really? Me too!’’

You pushed his shoulder playfully while he chuckled. ‘’Anyway, I'm very excited to be here and portray a strong latina superhero. The representation’s very important, and to be able not only to cherish it, but to be a part of it doing what I love and inspiring people like me is… mythical.’’

‘’Wow, woman!’’ Ackles pursed his lips, clapping a little before shifting his gaze from you to the reporter. ‘’She likes the big words. I swear, dude. She’ll just come and in like, a casual conversation, say something like gelid or whilst, and then she's gonna say dumbass. Both sound smart as heck.’’

You winked. ''It's the accent. Makes everything sound nice.”’

Jensen nodded but was quick to sprinkle in an incendiary remark to his compliments. ‘’Yeah, I have never seen someone confuse coach and couch before. Go sit on the coach got a lot of wrong ideas.’’

‘’Hey, you sat on the coach!’’

‘’Because I’m a good boy.’’

You rolled your eyes despite the grin on your lips. ‘’Sure, mister hours-to-get-ready.’’

‘’Hey, plenty of face masks are needed to keep this — ’’ He pointed at his face. ‘’at fourteen.’’

‘’All I hear is that you’re old.’’ Your eyebrows knitted together. Jensen licked his lips at the sight. On any other day, he’d pick you up, say I’m gonna show you who’s old, and enjoy where your teasing had gotten you two, but he couldn’t do it now. You’d get what was coming to you after the event, perhaps even under the table if your dress allowed it, or in the bathroom, if you kept going.

The mischievous smirk on your cherry-stained lips proved that you knew what was going through his mind. God, you were his sweet death. Nonetheless, Jensen sighed dramatically and looked at the camera. ‘’This is what I have to deal with every day.’’

The reporter went on, happily surprised about how comfortable you and Jensen seemed together. Usually, new coworkers were timider around each other during interviews, especially when they were a romantic pair. The journalist decided to try getting a little sneak peek of the couple aspects of Soldier Boy and Cangaceira.

‘’It's definitely interesting.’’

‘’But not in the best way.’’ The only thing more messed up than Jensen’s relationship with you was the correlation between your characters. At least you and he had the purity of love, even if it was twisted enough to turn heads and churn stomachs

‘’Certainly not in the best way.’’ You agreed, bringing him back into reality as always. ‘’It's really nice to explore a couple that doesn't consist of two white people getting to it like most main characters of the shows in our current climate. It’s not the kind of relationship you should be rooting for — not because it's interracial or anything, that's pretty much the biggest, if not only, positive aspect about those two — but because they aren’t healthy at all, just as all main relationships in our show. It's not a romance series, and we certainly don't treat our couples like it.’’

‘’Told you she is the beauty and the brains.’’ His cheeks dimpled with joy and pride as he looked at you. Jensen knew how excitedly nervous you were about that interview. He couldn’t wait to tell you how great you were like you were born to sell dreams and magazines. ‘’But yeah, it’s a messed up relationship like any other in The Boys. After all, it's not a respectful, wholesome show. It's about gritty superheroes that ain’t got heroism. Soldier Boy isn't a good guy, and it translates in his relationship too.’’

You nodded in agreement, brushing his arm to keep you sane. ‘’It’ll be an interesting dynamic to see on-screen to our show standards, but it's not an actual picture of how a relationship should be.’’

THE BOYS 100TH EPISODE PARTY!

The glimmer of his green comet eyes caught your undivided attention in the throngs of people. The crowd had gathered for his family, his arm around his wife's waist as you both shared a tender, stolen look. You savored her wine and yearned for the man in her arms.

It was just a small celebration due to COVID’s lasting effects on public events. People from the set and their significants together were in the Ackles house for a couple of drinks, small talk, and a cake with The Boy’s comics printed on it.

‘’Aunt Y/N!’’ JJ tugged your dress, her mix of Danneel and Jensen’s features almost haunting your soul. Almost. You would never despise a kid for that — you didn’t even have the right to. If anything, JJ was the one that would graduate to hating you someday. You didn't have enough youthful stupidity not to know the risks of being in love with a married man. ‘’Auntie!’’

You leaned in the most that you could with the red skirt, glancing at the child. ‘’Yes, honey?’’

‘’That’s my new Barbie! I bought a beach one! She looks like you!’’ the blonde kid said with a childish joy that ached in your heart. You could end up destroying her family’s stability if Jensen went any further, yet there she was; buying dolls that looked like you and so happily babbling about it.

You were a monster. Love opened you up and planted greedy seeds, and now you were a monster growing like a beautiful tree that could never be strong enough to hold a kid as they climbed up. The fact that you could sense Jensen’s eyes on your ass didn’t help one bit.

‘’She does! That’s so cute, JJ.’’

‘’You can be her. I have one who looks like mommy, I’ll be her, ‘kay?’’

Your nausea was replaced by a pageant smile and a nod, and so you spent the night sharing longing stares with the dad and playing dolls with the daughter. It was a role that was never yours.

ILLICIT AFFAIR? JENSEN ACKLES SEEN ON THE BEACH WITH Y/N Y/L/N

‘’I can’t believe you did this to me, to our family,‘’ Danneel screamed exasperatedly as she threw her clothes in a bag and heart on the wall. Jensen just stood there, accepting the deserved fury. ‘’Ten years of my life, Jensen, and you just threw it away for a mistress! I gave up on my job to be a stay at home mom because you didn’t want a babysitter. I supported you in every moment. I loved you!’’

‘’I’m sorry…’’

‘’You don’t get to be sorry,” she howled, glaring at him with the hatred of an overthrown nation. She felt like he got to the podium and forgot to say her name. ‘’You let that woman get in my house, drink my wine, talk to my children…’’

Reflexively, he said, ‘’Our.’’

‘’Shut the fuck up! There’s no ours anymore, no us!’’ Her words had garnered a learned violence, much louder than the sound of the zipper closing her duffel bag. She threw the CC exclusive on the floor, holding onto the handle for dear life. He didn’t deserve to see her breaking, only her anger. ‘’You destroyed our family, you destroyed me!’’

He pleaded, unable to discern if it was for her or the guilt: ‘’Dee.’’

‘’I hope you’re happy. I hope you go to her, get her to sleep on our bed, and be happy for a month.’’ She gulped, pursing her lips. Her glossy eyes coupled with the pink hue of her lipstick brought back a treacherous memory of their wedding day. ‘’And then, I hope she cheats, like you did to me.’’

The next headline didn’t call it love.

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[life-rewritten]

GIANTS OF BL 2021 AKA SHOWS LINED UP FOR GMMTV THAT WE WON’T STOP SCREAMING ABOUT!

Is there a way I can get over the addiction of BLS? Apparently not because GMMTV came and slapped me across the face for ever thinking I could. Like what even was that conference? I came in like yeah I've heard the rumours. 6 BLs! LOL, you're kidding, like nothing I'd want would even happen. But I still made a list of everything I wanted from them and held that checklist in my mind and boy was I shocked! I ended up just on the floor, brain exploded, mind shut down and can you believe I was crying? Like why on earth was I crying for GMMTV BLs? Crazy right? I am absolutely left floored, I'm going to be crying as I write this by the way just so you know, I've got my heart full ready to burst, talking about the change we've seen in BLs this year, the journey, the growth; there's still some work to do, but GMMTV said they were also part of that, they were going to change and make us stay, wanting more. They did that in a 3-hour conference. My brain is ready, my mind is prepared, my heart is available for all these shows, and I can't wait to see what 2021 unfolds. Let's begin screaming:

Ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these shows?

THE NICE SURPRISES

BAKERY BOYS

Genre/Themes: Thriller, Bromance, Mystery, Psychological, Drama, Friendship, BL? (The manga is), Baking

Verdict: You know I love Antique when immediately I see that Foie's hands shaking as he has to be one of the waiters in the cafe, reminds me back to another favourite bodyguard of mine doing so. I was in shock; One because Antique was one of my first Korean 'BL' movies I saw, with all my favourite actors, an unusual and intriguing plotline and I ate it up; all of it. I didn't like how censored it was and the weird open ending for the relationship in the show. But I couldn't care less, something about it made me happy. I just loved the characters I think, and I enjoyed seeing our 4 bakers become friends and find a weird found family with each other. Add in a mystery to why Joon’s character wanted to kill himself and hated cakes? And I was sold. Now GMMTV is making a remake for it, and SINGTO is playing my favourite gay baker. Like I am so happy with this. Do I expect this to blow my mind? No. Do I expect more BL? A little? I'm not sure like GMMTV could make Antique a BL if they want to, Korea hinted to it, Japan ignored it in anime and others, but Thailand could change that. I'm not holding hopes for it, but I love this cast just as much as I love the Korean Cast like Lee Thanawat is perfect for this role, Singto is greater (I just love him so much) and we even have Pleum and Foei?? Are you kidding me? Greatness. It's going to be fun to see what they do with the mystery—something I greatly liked in the movie. Let's hope it's more fleshed out in the tv show. So excited!

Ratings: 3.5/5 I mean it's not really a BL so it'll feel queer baity for me and I may end up being annoyed it, but I really do have fond memories of the Korean movie, so I want to be excited, and the cast is everything so we'll see.

FISH UPON THE SKY

Genre: Unrequited Love, Comedy, Romance, Rivalry, Haters to Lovers, 

Verdict: 

DID SOMEONE SAY JITTIRAIN: THEORY OF LOVE? 2GETHER??? Sorry for screaming but like what else am I meant to do. Theory of love is my ultimate BL show, one of it anyway, one of the reasons will be discussed even more later with another show, but this is not about them. Also, 2gether is like one of the biggest BLs ever right now. Jittirain is genius, she has this ability to make you feel for her characters, root for their love stories whilst throwing plot twists everywhere. I also like that she always has a focus; theory of love, we had film theory, 2gether we had music, and now we have Fish Upon the Sky, and we have?

 Medicine? Love rivalry? Honestly, I don't know, the title even makes me feel even weird; what the hell does Fish upon a sky mean? But who cares it's a Jittirain classic, comedy, pain, longiiiing, and unrequited love, and scheming to get unrequited loves requited, more side couples and secretive characters. This time we have PHUWIN (had to emphasise that because he's impressive people stop sleeping on him!), one of my favourite youngins, showing up and becoming our main Pi and we have Pond a newbie, who has charisma for days, and he plays Mork, and they are love rivals. Wait what? A love story between two people who fall for each other after chasing after one guy? I'm ready for this, the haters to lovers, the pain of unrequited longing, but hold on it seems like a plot twist! Seems like we have another oblivious protagonist on our hand aside from Tine in 2gether, Pi can't even see that Mork isn't chasing after the same person as him, but for he's chasing after him! Sarawat scheming activated! I'm expecting giggles, chemistry and a great story. And it's going to be great because it's Jittirain. 

Ratings: 4.5/5 It's not anything new but do I need to repeat my self? Theory of love pining and longing and emotions mixed with 2gether's secrecy, scheming and obliviousness? It's going to be great. The cast is also excellent, I have total faith in this show, better be a good director though (oh no nightmares from the last half of 2gether has returned). 

FINDING ENCHANTE

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Haters to Lovers, Harem, Mystery, 

Verdicts: 

Enchante that means nice to meet you aww. Wow, now I know French. Yay now where do I sign up to be like Theo and have 5 men chasing after me? Actually, that sounds like a nightmare, and I don't have time for that. He does apparently. Guess what guys! I knew I had a feeling in my gut when I watched this drama, I felt the memories, the intuition, the clues, hitting my brain, and I realised why. This show is also written by My gear and your gown's writer. YES! You mean more mystery and subtext filled storytelling, a show where I can analyse the character dynamics, and find clues to piecing the story together??? Perfection. As much as My gear and your gown wasn't everything to me, it was everything to me when I analysed it, I have fun with this writer's works when directed properly her works have great potential to be one of the best. I love GMMTV giving new actors the time to shine, and choosing stories that make my mind start working again. Thank you. 

With this show we're having a love Simon flashbacks with our Simon being sent secret messages through a book by Enchante, he's sweet, caring and totally all about making our lead comfortable. Who could he be?

 The best friend who's totally pining from afar and playing off his feelings like its nothing?  My gut is already saying that Tine definitely wants it to be him (so again requited but they don't know trope? you've got me!)

Is it the playboy guitar extraordinaire played by GAWIN you heard me right GAWIN my Mork in Dark Blue Kiss!! Like what? Where've you been boy? He looks so great in this, by the way, he's a tease, likes to play our lead's feelings, and has chemistry because they're haters to lovers.  

Or is it FLUKE PUSIT?? What even is this cast how is it both my favourite actors are here? Anyways Fluke is an artist, he wants our lead to let him in so he can draw him, our lead is his muse apparently, and again chemistry that makes your head hurt because like who is this damn Enchante?? Who will Theo choose? 

Anyways we then have two people who I don't know that well sorry, Boom is the football captain that likes our lead and is always protecting him, and the other is a genius/nerd? Who helps Theo with his studies? Like wow, it must be great to be Theo, guys from different lifestyles and aesthetics have found him, they want him, they need him and one of them he wants and needs. I wonder who it is. 

Ps people already thinking it's the best friend, not me, I think bestie is obviously endgame Tine is definitely also secretly wanting him to be with that pining and longing (I'm sure it's why he wants to find enchante desperately). I can't wait to see why these two refuse to let each other know how it feels. All I beg for is, please don't let New direct this. Guess what it's produced by X (Theory of Love! Hold on while I cry again) and Film! (Also theory of love!) Oh, this is going to be brilliant!

Ratings: 4.5/5 This drama is probably going to be the most underrated because people have other things to care about I don't blame you, but I think for me, this would be a same favourite way I loved MGYG and I'm ready for new faces, Gawin and Fluke and a requited but they don't know it angsty love story plus I know the directing is going to be amazing!. Ps, I actually hate harems, but the excitement is in figuring out who on earth is Enchante and why this is happening! 

THE BIG BOYS

GMMTV decided to not let me rest next year. How is it that I already felt happy by seeing Phuwin, Gawin, Fluke etc... I was content you know, I was like great we have a great line up I'm excited now I don't think there's anything else I secretly want that will happen. I'm being a clown, BUT NO. EVERYTHING I ASKED FOR: EVERYONE I WANTED TO SEE, EVERY TROPE I WANTED, THE DIRECTOR, THE PLOTS, EVERYTHING WAS MANIFESTED BY THESE THREE TRAILERS. That's why I ended up crying.  Because even till this day I can't believe this is real. I don't know when I'll finally think they will be real in 2021. Crying again!

NOT ME 

Genre: Gang, Mafia, Crime, Romance, Drama, Stolen Identity, Twins, Angst

Not me? Not you? Not us? See how my mind scrambles when it comes to this show. Because I was determined to not be a clown and believe in this even when I saw OFF GUN hold onto each other on the motorbike I was like HA, nope they're just guest stars, when I saw them as gang members I was like HA; interesting probably not BL. When I saw two Guns, I was like HA, nice Gifted character flashback but still not BL. I won't fall for it,  this is a BAIT! You get me? BAIT!! Don't fall for it and then GMMTV was like shut up here's a kiss. And then I broke down and cried. Because it was a journey. 

Remember when I said Theory of Love was my favourite? It's because of these two; OffGun is everything, my favourite BL couple on screen, my favourite fanservice couple, everything. I thought that the end of theory of love meant I won't be seeing them for a while, they'd be in other series separate, they'd not want to be typecasted. Gun would go for serious roles, Off will choose more het romantic comedies, don't blame them. Still, I didn't think I'd see them again, and I wasn't sure I wanted to see them in another university setting. I set my mind on only seeing them in fan meetings and side projects, I'd made up my mind to miss them. And then NOT ME happened, and now I'm crying just at the thought;

This isn't a cringy, comedic, cheesy BL. 

This isn't set in University.

This isn't'  unrequited pining from Gun to Off.

Gun is Dark! I repeat Gun went Dark he became a gang leader determined to break the law, called Black and Off; OFF went serious and he's Gun's right-hand man called Sean, and I'm just like wait is this real?? We're getting dark, gritty OFF GUN??? Are you serious?? See?? still can't believe it, and it's BL??? What is this? Christmas?? Like how did we get this, who came up with this idea THANK YOU SO MUCH. 

I thought nothing could beat theory of love for me and now OffGun came back and said HA you thought. I have a lot of feels about this, I will never stop screaming, I've rewatched that youtube trailer now for about more than 20 times, I'm not even kidding you, every day it's on repeat, I'm just ready, ready to write, to scream, to talk about this in so much detail. Let's get a plot that's deep, thrilling and mysterious, let's get a romance that is interesting, angsty but also sweet, let's get acting that is full of range, that will break my heart but fix it together again, let's get chemistry that would make me forget everything else. I'm ready for this. I've never been more ready!

Ratings: 5/5 What were you expecting? I can't even rate this anything else, nothing about this is worrying; even the director I trust she's also worked with Gun before in another movie of his, she respects LGBTQ, and she wants to make a great BL. I just can't believe this is real. 2021 come faster, I beg you. 

BAD BUDDY 

Genre: Forbidden romance, Haters to Lovers, Romance, Comedy, Opposites attract, Angst, Friends to Lovers, 

Verdict: 

You thought my screaming would be over. But no. GMMTV wasn't done with me yet. It's like it knew I was mourning from my lack of Ohm Pawat after rewatching He's coming to me (review here) and it knew I had just finished watching Gifted Graduation and felt slighted to see my opportunity at seeing Nanon as a BL character being taken from me with that finale. GMMTV knew I was empty without them and decided to mock me, and put me back together by making OHM NANON in a series together,. 

Again the same process as Not me; I started laughing when I saw the trailer like a mad person. I was like this is clearly a queer bait bromance, HA, not falling for it GMMTV almost got me this time, but then there were the stares, the Romeo and Juliet energy, the sneaking into each other's rooms, the becoming secret friends despite being haters to lovers, the skinship, the intimacy, and then the jealousy, the pining, the longing, the are we just friends scene??? WAIT, WHAT IS THIS?? Why is AOF directing this (same director of ALL my favourite BLS), what is this GMMTV? 

Nanon wouldn't be in a BL we know this, we've been clowns, but we accepted this with defeat, why is he now saying he's doing one because of the cast? THIS IS A BL? NOT BAIT? NOT A TRICK? BY AOF? WHATTTTTTT???? see my mind exploded. 

Since then it hasn't still comprehended this. This is insane, do you know how good, how genius, how amazing Nanon and Ohm Pawat is?? Do you see the power this holds? The fact it's directed by Aof who's like one of the best directors ever in GMMTV??? Do you even know what this means? For this GENRE??? Sorry, I have to scream. I still can't believe this! This is something someone would say, and we'd laugh it of as a joke like yeah right, in your dreams, but it's real, and it looks absolutely amazing, is it a university setting YES, so what? This is everything, with haters to lovers but not really, to Romeo and Juliet pining and longing, to the chemistry that takes your breath away. To just Ohm and Nanon in a screen together being in love. Yep, you guessed it my mind is never goanna be whole again after this breakdown. Guess what I'm okay with it. 

Ratings: 5/5 OhmNanon, Aof that's it. That's the post.

A TALE OF A THOUSAND STARS

 Genre/Themes: Military, Romance, Comedy, Drama, Heart Transplant, Unrequited Love, Fish out of water, 

Verdict:

 And we come to this big one here. You see it? It screams 2021 show of the year to me, it screams incredible plot and romance to me, it screams unique and exciting BL to me. Guess what? It's also by Aof. Ha. It took me a year to accept this is happening because when the trailer came out, I knew that with this cursed genre that this was too good that there'd probably be some kind of issue with it. But did it matter? No! Because this was real. Earth and Mix were in a BL together, and it looks so amazing, so great, and it's coming in less than 3 months. I'm going to cry. And it means everything; because there's a hint of character dynamics, angst and also haters to lovers. I see the chemistry, the production, the plot, the actors, and I just feel so ready for this show that I have no other words to say except I love it, I love it, I love it!. 

Ratings: 5/5 It's taken years, but I'm ready for this, I just want the trailer now, I want the show now, I want 2021 to start now. This is definitely a giant for sure, it's everything, and I can't wait for it. 

After screaming at everything; 2021 starting with ATOTS is already a sign, we're in for a great year with so many incredible changes in this genre. GMMTV isn't messing around, with subs in their event to show international fans are no longer forgotten and are heard and respected, with actors that have made their way into my heart and refuse to leave, and I'm just so happy. It may seem so extreme to be this excited for a BL series to be good, but I love this genre, I love seeing what it represents to so many people, I love the interesting storylines, the discussions you can have for days because of it, the tears, angst, and happiness you feel. But most of all I love how BL has brought out writing from me, I'm happy when I analyse this genre, I'm delighted discussing real-life links and conversations derived from it, I'm so glad learning and humbling my self and opening my mind to new things. BL has been a source of excitement, shock and happiness this year. I can't for next year to be even more splendid, and with this line-up, it's going to be even more than that. It's going to break the world. Can't wait. 

[prettywarriors]

Fate The Winx Commentary

Good morning internet! Today is the drop of Winx: Riverdale edition! I sure hope you're ready for my aggressive and unnecessary commentary, because it is coming for you either way!

The netflix landing page lets us know:

Fate The Winx Saga

6 episodes, 48-53 minutes each

"Genres: Fantasy TV Shows, Teen TV Shows, Italian TV Shows"

"This show is: Emotional"

As mentioned elsewhere, my Winx knowledge is limited, so I will be coming into this fairly fresh and will try to be unbiased. As I have seen trailers, the keyword here is Try.

Episode 1

'To the Waters and the Wild'

CW: Animal Death, Swears, Implied Child Death, Blood, Implied Teen Sex, Burns, Weed, Fatphobia, Whatever the term pussie falls under

Episode 1 TL;DR: We meet everyone, learn their dynamics, have the basics of the magic system beat into us, meet our monsters, and name drop Harry Potter. Standard first episode stuff.

I do want it on record before we start that I got about halfway into the first season of Riverdale, and the first season of Netflix Sabrina. They were, well, bland and boring imo? I did get through a few seasons of Teen Wolf, but that's because it was capable of Fun and Jokes. My current expectations are a few unintentionally funny lines, maybe some almost decent magic effects, and because it's 2021, one whole gay character (I did hear one of the boys (there are boys?) is bi, but also an asshole so I'm hoping for some wlw)

TV-MA LANGUAGE AND SMOKING OH FUCKING BOY Almost full moon (waxing) in opening shot- I Will be tracking moon inconsistencies if it keeps showing up that is a pet peeve but hey look a bunch of sheep That's a good start (it's ominous though. don't hurt the sheep) Swears count: Feckin' 2 Mystical portal barrier. Oh yeah s5 of the magicians is on netflix now WELP THOSE ARE SHEEP GUTS RIGHT OUT THE GATE HUH For CW it's up a tree, and the dripping blood is a good warning of what's about to be seen :( oh and then the man who was looking for the sheep dies offscreen save for a spray of blood. THIS ISN'T YOUR CHILD'S WINX CLUB it seems to say. I assume. How much blood was in the original winx because this is already at least a full cup. (Also the monster noises for whatever was chasing the man (werewolf it was a werewolf trailers are bad guys) were not very good)

Opening credit scene is 5-6 different blooming elemental wings. They're pretty, but it's unclear if the last one is secret 6th member wings (because the second to last ones are fire which is the main character's element right?) so maybe we'll get a late 6th addition? (I am in I.T. please give me the most relatable character you cowards)

KIDS IN THE CORNER BY AMBER VAN DAY PLAYING I like where they shot this but that might just be european woods pretty. The opening location was nice and mossy save for the sheep blood Fancy big stone school establishing shots (it's nice, and huge) and we land on a red head who seems less than pleased to be here Courtyard shot of... whatever the name of the replacment plant girl is, holding a tray of various potted plants for an older man (father? first day of school send off maybe?) Aisha(?) walks by, not talking to anyone, Stella(?) is taking Magical!Selfies with at least 3 other girls, Musa(?) has a suitcase and headphones and smiles at a passing girl Oh boy a boy with a pocketknife doing little tricks with it! Nothing says edgy like an actual knife edge. Gonna take this moment to point out I have some level of face blindness and while the girls all look fairly different from one another, if there is more than one tall blonde white boy as I fear there may be, I WILL NOT be able to tell them apart. Not through maliciousness, just general incompetence, so anything I say about the boy characters (I want to say they're the knights to the girl's faeries? is that right? this whole thing smacks of gender) should be taken with a heap of salt I've come to accept tv just. displaying text messages on screen as a storytelling method. It's never my favorite but it just Is a modern story element. Also Bloom needs to meet stella at the alfea gates Alfea I presume is the school- does the name mean something? It sure feels like the word elf and therefore fae but I don't feel like googling anything this early in Oh look two more blondish tall white boys. Pocketknife was wearing something else i think, one guy has a brown jacket and pink shirt (bad combo), the other looks old even by tv highschool/college standards and his jacket has a jock vibe. Jock jacket also has an earring? Is this the bi character who is an asshole? From this one second of him, only in profile, I will assume yes, he is an asshole I like Bloom's backpack Pink shirt looks at Bloom from across the quad. I am already tired of this romance Cool he walks up to someone he has identified as lost, and is 'impressed with [her] confidence in the face of complete ignorance' COMING OUT OF THE GATE WITH A NEGG HUH PINKY He even states he wasn't offering help Then Why Are You Talking To Her Jackass Subs are going with the fairy spelling, and Bloom confirms she is a fairy and we confirm this is College. Unless this is a european thing where they call schools different things. I think that's just for public and private? And maybe just england? I'm American all they teach us is 1492-ww1 over and over for like. 10 years sorry Rest of the World 'What Realm are you from?' 'California' Speaking of ameri-centric, I'm gonna Guess that original Winx, the italian cartoon, didn't have their main character be from cali usa? I am presuming this is a side effect of making this property for a more global distribution than I'm guessing winx was originally conceived as back in the early 00s The Otherworld. I assume this is the fairy realm and whatnot? And the magic school. Seems to be located behind a magical barrier in the earth realm?? If that's right it seems weird if basically everyone who goes to the school is from the otherworld Pinky doubles down on his rudeness but in a Fun and Cute way because :/ and the Specialist hall is Very Pretty, oh and there's a fairy hall. Are specialists the boy...things? magi knights? bros of the blade? guys who wear those 'here come a special boy' sneakers from that one comic? Stella sees this conversation which is great because they drop the term mansplain. why would otherworlders know that term even??? Edgey(?) sees Pinky and they hug it out Stella knows Americans are the type to wander off so I guess there's a lot of inter-world connections?

Miss Dowling- is this teacher going to be like the pedo in riverdale who got *checks notes* killed off by one of multiple serial killers later on? Dowling is the headmistress, gotta keep the otherworld a secret from earthers, time and place for portal making. all standard fantasy stuff so far, nothing to make this stand out Stella has a gateway ring, and frankly isn't too nice? all the backgrounders clothing is Bland and very normal 7 realms of the otherworld, Solaria is where Alfea is, i like magic globe Incase you forgot this was a modern tale, people update their insta stories here. 'I was kindof bummed I didn't see a single pair of wings' YOU AND ME BOTH BLOOM 'We had wings in the past, transformation was lost, tinkerbell was an air fairy' This is either a cop out for your glittery cowardice, or a set up for the main girls re-finding transformation magic later. I did like the Tink bit Bloom is a fire fairy and the subtext of this conversation is that bloom's magic did Something bad. I hope it was burn down her old school's gym a la buffy movie I like miss Dowling but in the I wouldn't Be Surprised if you turned out to be Evil way, and I guess Alfea is a very privileged upper crust school. What types of college do normal fairies go to then huh? damn privileged fairies 'our students have gone on to do amazing things like re-discover long lost magics' We Get It. You will give me Wings, but Only If I'm Patient Dowling throws a jab at Bloom about power control, but I like her necklace so It's Fine

Bloom video calls her parents while unpacking in the dorm, which may have come pre-fit with a heck ton of board games? Love it. Or new plant girl brought them along with her many plants Stella has a fancy mirror and lots of jewelry and fashion photos and makeup, Musa has a laptop and apparently not much else, gotta get those establishing personalities down I guess 'Ladies of the Flies honey don't be sexist' Bloom's dad for feminist of the year (these jokes are bad but i guess we can call it a dad joke as justification) Asiha gives Bloom a look and saves her from the call with her parents- yay friendship step one achieved Blooms parents think she's in the alps because magic secrets and what not Aisha asks bloom if she's never read harry potter and I guess Bloom is a potterhead (that's the term right?). Is this self awareness that all magical school fantasy series have the same basic bricks?  Bloom is a ravenclaw sometimes slytherin, Aisha is a Gryffindor Stella is changing because she's the fashion one and has a fun pastel rainbow skirt, and uses magic to make a real aggressive lamp. She's also a mentor (maybe older than the others by a bit?) I am assuming Stella here is something along the lines of a diplomats daughter the way she talks about appearances. She better get down and dirty later on to show her growth about how some things are more important than looks yada yada Fairy magic powered by strong emotions, i am waiting for bloom's backstory to be movie x-men rogue style tragedy Terra! Which. Of course is the Plant Fairy's name. Stella is a little mean to her about the plants and she takes it with a smile and some subtle snark back using classic literature Oh that's fun Terra points out the name-plant thing, and name drops her cousin Flora. That's. The one they replaced with Terra right? Terra's dad works in the greenhouse at the school which explains earlier (and her mum is named rose) Stella is indeed a second year and Musa's eyes change for. Lie detecting magic? and loves her headphones (Overstimulation?) Aisha wants somewhere to swim and we cut to a 'pond' by specialist training. Assuming she wants to sim because she's a water fairy, why Don't they have a pool? also this pond looks. Unpleasant for swimming

Girl specialist! Does that mean we have boy fairies? Boys. Fighting. Talking about girls. All gingers are nuts. Thanks edgelord AMAZING SHAGS THOUGH 'I didn't realize your hand was a red-head' it's not truly edge if we don't talk about sex every 10 minutes Subtitles earlier only said boy 1 boy 2 but now pinky or edgy is Riv Edgy smokes weed, and pinky is a big brother figure to him, and the head? of the special boys doesn't like edgy. Me neither older guy Bit of swordplay, more girls, every specialist has black training outfits, very military Pinky is Sky who is son of Guy of Place. an important lad. without context this is meaningless to me There's a giggly boy who laughs at the idea of a war in the future and gets a talking to. I suspect this boy will be re-occurring enough to die- he has those tertiary character elements with his intro and such (and he's black so I am prepared for your standard racist murder choices) Burned Ones exist outside the barrier, which makes me wonder if dead shepard was in the otherworld? There was nothing establishing that he was in any type of Other place but :/ Oh look edgey is having a smoke cross the barrier while we learn about the creatures that live beyond it. Time to find out these creatures no one young has ever seen are still kicking Specialist leader had to kill his own pa after a burned one got him. They also. Used a shotgun when trying to fight it. Do specialists even have powers or are they just good with weapons? Edgey finds the shepards corpse. Mostly blood 'it's been 16 years since the last sighting' 'Rosalind killed all the burned ones' ahh magical creature genocide hey when is abarat 4 coming out. and is rosalind hot?

School, gossip, Aisha and Musa are snarking at Tera for thinking the guy died of natural causes because we need to have these characters not actually like each other to make it stand out when they do Aisha talks about how she eats a lot and if she didn't swim she'd be massive and we cut to the plus sized tera looking uncomfortable are we really doing this? Tera points out that Musa was ignoring her earlier and it's all just uncomfortable and not great character conflict (but I thought I saw Musa holding an honest to god ipod? it's blue but it could be a phone case. Her hand is in the way) tera and dad interaction is nice, i'm also convinced they couldn't afford more than 3 magic adults

Girl with braids and metal in her hair! There were witches in winx right? Like 3 minor antagonist girls? I assume this is one of them. Because she has alternative fashion and is therefore evil /s Beatrix. Names in this series leave something to be desired (that something is subtly. I get it, they're carry overs from a series for a younger audience, she-ra had the same issue, but i can still poke fun) Swear count: Arsehole 2 Bollocks 1 Shit 1 She's a weird ass kissing with clearly ulterior motives

Bloom is Studying and her notebook is just FAIRY MAGIC POWER = EMOTIONS LOVE FEAR? HARTED? FIRE FAIRY CONTROL? in case you weren't paying attention Oh a flashback already to the magic triggering event? Her mother had pointed out she's an introvert, and past!Bloom doesn't Party. She goes Antiquing and is a Weird Loner (her 'basic bitch' of a mom's words) Swear count: Bitch 1 Bad daughter count: 1 Bad mother count: 1 Magic glowy eyes for Bloom: 1

Bloom Hates Parties and asks Pinky I mean Sky where she can be Away from People and he fears he'll be Mansplaing to her to. vague that it's dangerous outside instead of saying 'hey there's monsters and someone was just killed by possible one of them stay in the barrier' Stella wants to talk to Sky because they have History. I did hear there was a love triangle between these three. I am bored and everyone at this party is a nosey bitch who is watching their tense conversation. Also Something? Happens when Stella gets upset [mystical warbling] Random magic effects in the (very pretty) forest Bloom is trying to practice her magic on her own, and to do that she's gotta look at sad teen pics. And look, her burnt bedroom from her first power usage The fire magic is pretty good. I think fire is like. the opposite of water when it comes to cg where it almost always looks pretty good, while I swear i've seen the actual ocean look like a shitty render Magic out of control, bloom can't control her emotions, Aisha can stop her with water magic which makes some nice steam Bloom is angry at aisha for saving her. So far 3 of the 5 girls are abrasive at best remember when people made characters likeable? Swear count: Shit 1 (but it doubles as the literal meaning because of flooded toilets) Swear count: Bitch 1 Ass 1 Taking away your teen's door is. Really shitty. Not almost burn down your house worthy but damn cheerleader mom I do not understand sleep shirts with buttons. That seems painful if you lie the wrong way? Her mom was seriously burnt by first magic usage that's a backstory Shit count +1 Main character aspect time: dormant fairy blood line? awfully strong magic for that. baby who died day after it was born and now she's here? ...I was going to say changeling thanks aisha A Barbaric practice loving hints at long term world lore Hell is a bad word for kids!! Cutting to headmistress and her secret passage after finding out bloom is secret pureblood? this really is a harry potter thing

edgelord offers giggly some booze, and says pussies twice because he's Edgey and does peer pressure Tera calls him out and knows he's a sad nerd in disguise not a 'badass' and he says she's 'three people in disguise' because fatphobia shit +1 arehole +1 tera. chokes out edgelord with a vine because she's had enough of this shit. good for her edgelord is Riv, and he lived

OBLIGATORY GOOGLE SEARCH FOR THE TERM CHANGELING REMEMBER BELLA'S VAMPIRE GOOGLE GOD I LOVE TEEN FANTASY AND THEIR INSTANCE ON GOOGLING COMMON FANTASY TERMS OH hey the lamp bloom brought with her is the one she was fixing at home that's a nice touch Stella bonds with Bloom about homesickness, and the takes a selfie Musa is a mind fairy. So she. Is a telepath with purple eye magic? Oh there's types of 'connections' Memory, thought (others but i am cut off from the lore) Stella did Something to someone who Talked To Her Man last year and now lent Bloom her teleportation ring to send her some because miss mentor really cares more about her shitty man then helping the girls she's in charge of First World- earth Old Cemetery? Very Sexy. and bloom sweetie don't leave a mystical gateway open, and how will you explain to your parents how you're back so fast Wait she's only 16? SO this really is some european college where that's a funny way of saying High School Fire guilt, bad feelings about life shattering revelations, better connection with mother. I gotta say I have low expectations of this show carrying the family connection through the rest of this. That conversation felt more like a Hey We Made These Movements Onto Other Stuff Now

Lighting choices are interesting, with green, orange and purple for creepy warehouse. THE Creepy Warehouse where she would sleep without her parent's knowledge wow right that GIRL DROPS THE DAMN RING AT THE FIRST SIGN OF burned one looked more alien than werewolf-y here Decent Horror movie looks, and dude stole her ring. Rude. Saved by the headmistress, and tera/aisha/musa are here to great her Stella can't be here though because she has to greet a half naked freshly showered sky because life is suffering and producers insist people like to see teens half naked (who. Who?) shit +1 and she dumped him. pity part of one and using it to try to get your bone on. HEY A SONG I KNOW. IT'S WHATSITCALLED FROM THE BAYONETTA COMMERCIALS WAY BACK WHEN. in for the kill la roux. I do wish netflix would either commit to telling you what song was playing or didn't tell you at all

Riv offers Beatrix a hit from his joint because what Is a Bad Kid hasn't changed in like 70 years Blowing pot smoke into someone's mouth isn't as sexy as ya'll seem to think it is Musa has cute sleep socks with little pom poms, and I love Tera's floral jammies Tera offers a bluetooth speaker so they can listen to music together Musa also calls out Tera's fake happiness this is the good shit character interaction i live for Musa Empath Mind Fairy 'somber indie music'

If you kill a burned one in the human world Something? Extra bad happens? So the headmistress knows Bloom's a changeling, and ohhh that's the last time a burned one was spotted. Is Rosalind the famed Monster Slayer the birth mother of Bloom? Tera text flirts with Giggly who IS NAMED DANE and has a thing for. Sky? Riv? I told you these boys all look the same to me so if it's a half naked pic on fairy insta i'm out of context clues. Crymeariv is the insta name that answers that. Is this the slow burn enemies to lover mlm i can't finish this sentence i don't care riv is a dick Stella and Sky are in a bed and she doesn't seem to have a top on so Implied sexy times? MYSTERIOUS HOODED AND ROBED FIGURE CROSSES THROUGH THE BARRIAR AND SHOOTS THE BURNED ONE WITH LIGHTNING MAGIC OH IT'S beatrix

alt-J – Adeline as an ending song

[spidermanifested]

remember when i said in my post about how bido is unappreciated that id talk about why greed/bido is a good and important ship but thats a whole other post. well This is that post

the first and most important reason that greed/bido is a good ship is very simple and that reason is Bido Was In Love With Greed The Whole Time And Nobody Noticed?????? how come nobody noticed. i mean SOME people noticed but nowhere NEAR enough people noticed

when greed compliments bido for successfully proving that alphonse is just a soul bound to a suit of armor, he blushes and acts very flustered and happy. unfortunately this scene is not animated in either show (bido talking to greed is changed to be over the phone in 03, and in brotherhood the scene just gets skipped, HOWEVER theres a single shot of bidos face in one of greeds flashbacks that shows him blushing and looking directly at the camera. ie at greed)

also in the manga his first thought when the military shut down the nest was to worry about whether greed SPECIFICALLY was okay (i used this page in my other post as well but its important)

and in brotherhood he was shown to have actually followed greed through the sewers during his fight with bradley but could only watch from his hiding place as greed was defeated and taken away; remembering this is what gives him the determination to hitch a ride to central to look for him

did i mention he went all the way to central to find him!!! clinging to a MILITARY TRUCK no less. as a very obvious chimera if he had been found by any of those soldiers it would have been horrible for him and every other time we ever saw bido faced with danger he ran away from it. but he was brave For Greed. he went into the labyrinth under central For Greed, and didnt try to escape until he was convinced greed wasnt there. and when it turned out he WAS there (and had lost his memory and had been trying to kill him) he immediately dropped his guard and walked closer to him because that was greed and he trusted him despite everything that had just happened. in the manga he grabs onto greeds coat as he dies and it is just about the saddest thing ive ever seen in my whole life

and then of course greed starts physically shaking because what he just did was so awful his body knows he fucked up before his mind even remembers Why it was fucked up and he cradles bidos body in his arms and screams. unfortunately if we are to acknowledge bido as the gay icon he was, we also must acknowledge that he was buried

(by all rights bido SHOULD have survived. where is the fanfiction where he survives fullmetal alchemist fandom or are you too busy writing the same royai-gets-married-and-has-babies fic over and over again. actually never mind i greatly prefer that to all the pedophilia. but thats another Other post, that unlike this incredibly niche topic some other people have almost definitely made before me)

the thing about grido is you could make a huge tragic thing about it being unrequited and frankly thats Fair, greed does not seem one to settle down in a relationship and bido likely has a lot of self worth issues that would prevent him from confessing his feelings. but you cannot deny that greed cared about him. he praises him, he pats him on the head (!!)

he COMPLETELY breaks down after he realizes he killed him. bido was so important to greed, as were the rest of the chimeras of course but i think theres a valid argument to be made that bido in particular was special to him. theyve got a few things in common actually that i find interesting:

both like to just chill on roofs??? when greed is in lings body he sometimes just hangs out on top of a roof. bido does this too

they could have hung out on roofs together.......maybe thats why greed likes to be up there. because he hung out with bido on roofs a lot. please consider this possibility

both of them are accidentally rude to children. the same children in fact

greed is like 200 and looks 30 while bido is middle-aged and people think he is a baby for some reason?????

okay this is just straight up a headcanon and has no actual basis in the text or subtext of fma but I Think Bido Is Trans and was cast out by his family in his youth and greed would understand that experience!!!! having left his own terrible family because they wanted him to be someone he wasnt

and then there are the differences:

greed is very outgoing and bido is mostly pretty anxious, though he has outbursts of confidence; that might be because greed being nice to him has built up his self-esteem (the way he calls himself cool/awesome when he escapes from the elrics, directly followed by greed complimenting his skills, really makes me think this is the case)

one is tall and lean........the other...is short and fat....... i know its cliche but let me have this

bido overthinks things. greed is a jock. with their powers combined they can do things at a mostly reasonable pace (as long as bido doesnt just go along with whatever greed wants which is probably most of the time what happens)

bido is outwardly inhuman and weird-looking but is incredibly caring and hard-working and loyal and sweet. greed is the sexiest motherfucker alive but hes literally the personification of a deadly sin and at his core he is technically just a rock made of pain. but below these layers both of them want the exact same thing which is to care about others and be cared for in return

also you know that post about how ships between immortal people and super young adults (or worse, teenagers) are OUT and instead we should have stories about immortal people dating 40-something accountants. bido is the 40-something accountant. except not an accountant. you know what im getting at though hes an Established Adult 

and bido DESERVES it, he deserves to be loved by the person he cares about more than anything, he has been through so much and gotten nothing but pain and he needs something good for a change!!! and greed DESERVES someone who will love him with all his heart and make him feel wanted no matter what. just, listen to me okay, they would make each other so happy

so!!! there are MANY reasons this ship is interesting and a million different ways you could go about exploring it and there is just NONE of it out there. for some reason the chimera that gets shipped the most with greed is dolcetto (though ive seen martel as well) and i think that is probably because they are more attractive to people (and also id wager more than a few dollars people simply see a dogman and his boss and go wild for the petplay angle). like you dont see any greed/roa either and thats very telling since roa appears with the other two almost every time and nothing about him is different except hes older and not as. pretty i guess???? in my humble onion hes hotter than either dolcetto or martel but thats neither here nor there

the important thing about bidos relationship to greed is that he might not have been transmuted with an animal with a strong sense of loyalty, but he didnt NEED to be, to be loyal to greed. he loved him entirely because he was human. and in the end he did the most for him out of any of the chimeras. unfortunately it was via dying but through the power of imagination we can collectively ignore that and pretend both he and greed survived, and greed went back to his original sexy, sexy body, and they made out on a roof for several consecutive hours. thats how im coping at least. thank you so much for listening to my unhinged rambling about lizard man who dies of fullmetal alchemist (gay edition)

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m watching Great Pretender on netflix and uh not for nothing but 

- this is some of the most distinct and beautiful art direction I’ve ever seen, in anime or in general, every now and then I have to pause to look at the stylization they employ in the backgrounds and just SCREAM 

you ever spend five minutes yelling at the top of your lungs because they’ve somehow made a random piece of background foliage look like a stunning stained glass paining? yeah....  

- the writing feels fresh and is also really funny, not to mention that it gives you some of that sweet sweet wish fulfillment in the same ways that Leverage does. (Leverage is the closest comparison I can think of in a lot of ways, actually) 

if you’ve been thirsting for some more found family con men stealing only from awful ultra rich people and delivering some delicious poetic justice along the way, look no further.      

- I love laurent so much because they gave me a (heavily implied) sad clown trickster mastermind character alienated from everyone because he’s a manipulative shit, however benignly he employs it, and I am predictable trash garbage....... I don’t even go for blondes but he’s a fucking delight at every turn I’m so angry about this innuendo-wielding frenchman my friends

- great and varied character design, especially for the women, which is such a nice change! 

- some truly  o u t r a g e o u s  queer subtext going on here (there’s a scene in the first episode that involves some... fondling of a gear stick and I honestly wondered for a hot second if I was hallucinating but then they just... keep going like that??? for the rest of the eps????? not in an uncomfortable way; one of my favourite things they manage to do with laurent is that for all that he’s a walking double entendre he’s also very sexually non-threatening and chill about it lol), and it’s like... the writing is so smart about other things, it would seem sort of weird for it to play uncomplicatedly into queerbaiting, so maybe they’re going somewhere with it? I guess we won’t know until the second half of the show is released, but I will say that the last time I had this ‘am I losing my mind? is this really what’s happening on screen right now or did I smoke something??’ feeling was yuri on ice, so, y’know. take that for what it’s worth. laurent has big disaster bi/pan energy, no matter what else happens     

- the credits are accompanied by freddie mercury singing ‘great pretender’ while Delightful Cat Shenanigans With Some Troubling Foreshadowing Slipped In happen to your eyes. honestly if you never see the show just watch that part, it’ll be a good time