#I had and have never done so well on a chem exam

[giorno-plays-piano]

Binary Star

Part I

Pairing: academic rival!Satoru Gojo x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, power play, hurt/comfort, no curse au, this series will get darker as the story progresses.

Words: 1.2k

Summary: It has to pay off, he thinks as he waits for the headmaster to finally announce the valedictorian, knowing she is there too, shifting from one foot to the other impatiently. What face is she going to make when his name will be called? Is she going to cry? To yell at him and publicly demand a re-evaluation? Or will she, perhaps, finally admit he's done a fantastic job and won fair and square?

____________

He is really going to get her this time. This is the finish line, quite literally: the graduation; his last attempt to win and emerge victorious from the very last battle between him and her. It has to be it.

If he couldn't win against her for the last time, Gojo would probably have a mental breakdown right in the middle of the ceremony. Geto standing right next to him rolls his eyes to the ceiling over his friend who's shaking from excitement and fear. Of course, Satoru wouldn't admit it even under torture, but Suguru knows better. The girl his friend has been competing with throughout high school isn't just smart: she's completely insane like Gojo and as big pain in the ass as him. Who knows, perhaps she'll really win this round. He prefers not to think of it.

Satoru searches for her in the crowd, standing on his toes despite already being a foot taller than anyone else in the hall. Is she here? This nightmarish woman who has been pushing him to give high school his all because she dared to take away his crown of the best student during their freshman year? When Satoru saw the scores, he thought he might have had a heart attack. There was no way he was no longer #1.

"That's what you get for messing around the chem lab," Shoko snorted while Satoru dumbly stared at the name of that annoying girl, always the teachers' pet, heading the list. His name was written right under hers.

What the actual fuck?! She got a better score than him? Him, the genius, with his undeniably superior IQ of 180 that he flaunted at any given time? Who did she think she was, Sheldon Cooper or something?

It got him so fired up he actually started studying.

"You're so dumb," Geto eventually said after his friend had gotten in the argument with the girl during their ethics class - again. "You know you could be making out with her now, right? She's the only person who could actually get along with your stubborn ass."

"Wha-a-at? What about you?" Immediately disregarding his question, Satoru was already pouting like a kid. "Wouldn't you date me?"

"Yeah, over my dead fucking body."

To be fair, it's not that Gojo never thought of her that way - she was pretty, even if he was never going to admit it out loud - but she was also so insufferable Gojo really couldn't focus on anything else but beating her in that game they were playing. The best score on the history exam? They both wanted it. Math test? Him and her were working on those questions as if their lives depended on it. Biology project? Satoru made sure to do the impossible, submitting something he would get a Noble prize for, and yet he still somehow managed to get the same grade as her. It was absolutely infuriating.

Why on Earth did she decide she could be better than him? He was Satoru Gojo, after all. The one and only son of Gojo family, who was not only embarrassingly rich but also fucking smart - his parents used to flaunt his talents throughout his whole childhood and continued doing it well into adulthood. He couldn't tell them he was no longer #1. What would his mother say? Dear God, it was hard to imagine what would happen to his father of he learned some random girl got a better grade for that English paper than him. It was, at the very least, unbecoming of Satoru.

But she was unrelenting, irritated with his status of the school genius, and ready to fight him on every occasion. Satoru had no idea what could piss her off so much - in the end, he was the most charming guy around, wasn't he? - but there wasn't a day she'd let him have his way. She was brave, persistent, and knowledgeable, and he hated her very much.

The fact that Shoko and Suguru were asking him to please get together with her and stop antagonizing the whole school only riled up Gojo even more. As if he was going to date that nerd!

When he learned she'd be running for the valedictorian, it was the last drop. No fucking way. She couldn't take it away from him - even if he had never actually cared about being a valedictorian.

If his friends had thought he was obessessing over her, now they realized Satoru went completely nuts. He started studying so much he barely slept: it was a given, considering the bags under his eyes were making his skinny ass look like a starving raccoon. Geto couldn't drag gim out even in between lessons because Satoru was immediately burying his head in the books.

It has to pay off, he thinks as he waits for the headmaster to finally announce the valedictorian, knowing she is there too, shifting from one foot to the other impatiently. What face is she going to make when his name will be called? Is she going to cry? To yell at him and publicly demand a re-evaluation? Or will she, perhaps, finally admit he's done a fantastic job and won fair and square?

Pfft, of course she won't. She'll probably stab him in the parking lot once he tries to get into his car.

But when the headmaster finally announces the results, and his, Satoru Gojo's, name is called, he no longer sees her in the crowd, and the sweet taste of victory suddenly turns to ashes in his mouth.

Where is she? She couldn't have known it would be him. To be frank, he didn't either. How could she leave right before the results were announced?

He gives his speech with a stupid smile plastered all over his face, but his mood has already soured. She had to be there to hear he was named this year's valedictorian! What face did she make? Did she leave right after she heard it wasn't her? Did she cry? Did she run away because she couldn't take it? Wasn't she going to say to him anything at all?

How could she just... vanish?

He doesn't know why he expected her to be the bigger person and come tell him he did great, but he truly did. Suddenly, he realizes he wants her to look him in the face and say he is good enough.

Did he need to be the bigger person, perhaps? But, wait, isn't he a bigger person by default because he's the winner, he wondered. The winner is always the bigger person if he doesn't rub loser's face in the dirt, right?

In the end, he couldn't even enjoy the victory he had been craving for so long.

"She had something urgent come up," Shoko says later in the restaurant, making a tsk-ing sound while Gojo listens to her with a frown on his face. "Something about her family."

Something about her family? What could be as important as the announcement of valedictorian?

"Are you dumb?" With a sigh, Suguru cocks his head to the side. "Plenty of things are more important than this valedictorian crap."

Maybe to somebody else, but not to her, Satoru thinks. Beating him has always been the only thing on her mind, and nothing could have changed that.

__________

He will be mulling over it for a long, long time once he realizes she did not follow him to Harvard despite her scholarship.

Part II

Tags: @minshookie29

[blkdaddie]

Empregnas University: The Basketball Player's Tutor

I stroll through in the stacks of Beattie Library, stopping when I get to the section needed for my research paper. I sigh heavily; at other schools athletes are allowed to phone it in, but Empregnas insists on academic excellence. Keeping up with classes and basketball practice is close to impossible, so when I started falling behind, Coach recommended a tutor.

As I scan the titles, a pair of arms snake around my waist and I feel the warmth of a slight body against my back. I smile, and turn around to face forementioned tutor, and my now occasional fuckbuddy, Michael. At 5'10" to my 6'6", he has to tilt his head to grin up at me lasciviously. With a quick glance to ensure we’re alone, Michel’s slides one hand down to grope my ass and he presses a finger to my lips with the other – a warning to stay quiet.

Six months ago Michael was the stereotype of a shy, virginal nerd. I've never had a problem getting laid by guys or girls, so I though we'd be one and done. But he flipped the script and now here he is, confidently feeling up a star basketball player in public. I’ve clearly taught him well.  

Michael leans in to kiss me, but the movement of my jacket rubbing against my shirt makes me grunt. He takes the opportunity to slide his tongue in my mouth, muffling my warning that my nipples have been unusually sensitive lately. Two more minutes and we'll be racing across campus to my dorm room, but I fight it, breaking the kiss and taking a step back. He misreads the movement and reaches for my waistband with a smirk, but I stop him again.

“Michael, there’s a problem”. “Stephen, you’re going to do fine on the chem exam, you finally got those formulas down.”  “Bruh, for real…” His brown eyes meet mine quizzically and he steps back, leaning against a cart of books waiting to be shelved. “Listen, I know this is casual, I just thought we could have a little fun but if you don’t want-“  It hurts me to watch him pull away but I can’t put this off any longer. “No!” I hear a shush from somewhere in the distance and my voice drops to a whisper again.  “Shit, no wait, I do want but we can’t…  Dammit. I think I’m pregnant, Michael”.

I wait. 5 seconds. Ten. Twenty. Libraries are quiet but this silence is deafening. “Whose is it?”  My brow furrows. “Yours, shithead” “Do you even know? We’ve all heard the stories about the parties you guys have after games. ” 

I pull myself up to my full, intimidating height and glare at him. “Yeah, sometimes we blow off some steam but you’re the only one that I bottom for.” He blinks in surprise bit still clings to denial. “But I always pull out.” “For a smart guy you’re really fuckin' dumb. That’s not 100% and with how many times you’ve ‘rewarded’ me for good quiz scores, we’ve been playing roulette.”

As the truth sinks in, Michael wipes a hand over his face. “Well ok then. We need to talk. But first, get your books, you have a paper to write.”

Ultimately, I was benched for the season, but under Michael’s tutelage was able to get an academic scholarship. Coach said as long as I got back in shape after the baby, I could come back to the team as a walk-on. But Michael has secured a good job for after graduation and made a few offhand comments about how siblings should be close in age and being able to afford a houseful of kids, so there may need to be some negotiation. Until then, I’ll keep letting him cop a feel in the library stacks.

[ateezscupid]

could I request for a yunho angst of the prompts 5, 12, and 23 please? ^^

5. “did you really believe i cared for you?”

12. “stop trying to make it up to me, you can’t!”

23. “there are other ways to deal with this. please, don’t leave!”

﹟ 𝗙𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 ⋆ 𝗃.𝗒𝗁 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗭 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 / 𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧

plot - you and yunho were fake dating for a few months in an attempt to make your ex jealous, but instead, it hurt you

warn - angst, slight hurt w/ no comfort in the beginning

w/c - 2.14k

𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗦 - @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @starillusion13

“you and yunho are so cute together!” lisa squealed. “i hope you guys last super long, you guys are like—the schools golden couple right now. you guys are more liked than kai and jennie!”

“we—are?” you scoff and roll your eyes. “that’s hard to believe but…thank you. i hope we last long too.”

in reality, you didn’t wish to stay in a long relationship with yunho. it was only a fake relationship to make your ex jealous. you could tell they were noticing you two together, but never did or said anything as yunho would probably beat them up. it was weird being in a fake relationship with a boy who you didn’t even know, as well as barely even talked to, but he was your only option.

of course, that’s an over exaggeration. you had plenty of options to choose from, but yunho was the option.

any and every girl at your school wanted to be with yunho. and you couldn’t blame them; he was tall, fit, had a pretty face, and he knew his way around the ladies. he was super attractive, if you ignore all of his red flags.

despite having numerous rumors about him sleeping around, he was still a fine young man. you’d give anything to be with him, even if it meant your self respect.

you went up to him when he was finally alone and told him about your ex. he didn’t seem phased by you asking if he could be your fake boyfriend, so it was right to assume he’s done this and has been asked the very same question before. he immediately agreed, and by the next day, he was showering you with gifts and fancies as if you two had been together for years.

you accepted him treating you like a princess, and it knocked everyone off their feet. everyone wanted yunho, now. you had to “pretend” to be a possessive girlfriend so no one ruined your plans, and yunho laughed whenever you acted like that.

sometimes he’d go overboard by asking you to make out, or kissing you on the cheek in public in front of all of your friends, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t that serious. you two were only fake dating, nothing else.

except there was everything else. you fell for him. you didn’t know how, or why; seriously, why fall for a man who’s been said to have slept around with multiple girls? clearly red was your favorite color. he was beaming with red flags like a sun on a super hot day. you happily ignored them throughout your fake relationship, which you gaslight yourself into thinking it was real.

until, the day you had that major chem exam. you were nervous, and did the past few months, yunho would comfort you. you asked him to meet up in the garden thirty minutes before your text, hoping to ask him for some words of encouragement, and to tell him about your crush on him.

he came, a few minutes late, but he came. he couldn’t have been any hotter. you felt like pounding on him right now from how tight his tank top was. he was wearing, which meant he was just working out. god, he looked delicious.

“what is it?” yunho looks, breathing a bit heavily as his hands were in his pockets. you blink and step closer.

“i, uh, i have that chem test i was telling you about? y’know, last night? i just need a few words to help boost my mood since i’m really nervous and i don’t think i’ll past this test.”

“you’ll pass it, it’s okay. you’re like—mega robot smart, you’ll ace it with flying colors.” he smiles and you smile back.

“thanks, that’s all i needed to hear.” before he gets to walk away, you clear your throat. “but, there was another thing…”

“yeah…?”

“well you know how we’ve been ‘dating’ for the past four months?” you gulp and he nods. “well, um, did you… like those four months?”

“ehh, they were alright.” yunho hissed. “i mean, it could’ve been better. it got boring after the first month. it’s hard keeping up an act like that in front of everyone.

well, that didn’t help. “h-huh? you didn’t—you thought it was boring? i thought it was… nice.”

“i’m just saying, it would’ve been better if it was with a fake relationship with someone i liked. i don’t like you, y/n. you’re just my friend.” he said with a straight face, as if he wasn’t lying deep down.

you had to pause to think. it was…it felt unreal. after all those months, even if everything you two did was fake, he didn’t like it. he didn’t like you. if your heart was beating outside your chest, he would’ve seen it crack into a million pieces. you had to compose yourself, closing your eyes and breathing in heavily. whatever you said now would dictate how this conversation would continue. if you bursted out into tears, that wouldn’t make the situation better.

“i-i was just wondering because i…” you couldn’t even get it out. “i just… i really like you, or i started liking you. i don’t remember when it happened but, i just saw you one day and i realized i liked you.”

yunho’s eyes widen from the information but he doesn’t say anything. god, this was embarrassing. all he had to do was reject you and move on, then you’d be okay and you’d be able to find a real boyfriend to treat you right. just from looking at his face, you could tell he was trying to find a way to lay it down with it hurting you. whatever he was about to say was about to break your heart even more.

“we agreed we wouldn’t like each other.” yunho states, his eyes boring into yours. “you promised you wouldn’t fall for me and i promised the same. now you’re standing in front of me telling me you like me?”

“i-it happened out of nowhere! but the way you treated me throughout the entire thing made me feel… loved and cared for, and i’m not familiar with that type of—”

“did you really believe i cared for you?” he spoke. that broke you immediately. you blinked and tears came falling down your cheeks, your bottom lip quivering from his painful words. as if that wasn’t enough, he kept going.

“i wouldn’t fall for someone like you. you’re not my type and i’m outta your league. i only fake dated you because i knew it would get me attention.” which couldn’t have been anymore of a lie. he fell for you too during the relationship, but his stubborn personality wasn’t letting him accept it. it wasn’t letting him accept his own feelings.

you stood silent in front of him, your once confident look turning into a sad, betrayed look. you felt like your arms were about to give out, and more tears were threatening to fall down your cheeks.

“why didn’t you tell me before…?” you spoke softly and lower your head. yunho felt his heart sting. he’s definitely played with girls emotions before, so why was it different with you? he did like you, he just wasn’t saying it. he couldn’t get himself to say it. it only made him hurt more.

“i don’t know, i didn’t feel like it.” he only didn’t say anything before because he didn’t want your heart to be broken.

“but you felt like taking advantage of me?” you gulp. “it’s fine, i’ll leave. i’ll end everything right now. the fake relationship is done, so delete my number and whatever social media accounts i have.”

“dude, we can still be friends. it’s not that serious—“

“it is that serious! i just told you i had a crush on you and instead of laying it down gently, you admit to not even caring about me!”

“well i didn’t, but… look, i can’t explain it right now, okay? just come to me later or something.”

“no.” you wipe your tears. “it’s through, i’m over, we’re done. i need a minute to get myself together.”

and that’s what you did. you cut all contact your had with yunho. he respected your wishes and gave you privacy, obviously, and you were feeling much better. you passed your chem test, thank god, and even finished a few other projects for school. you felt great.

but you couldn’t say the same for yunho. he was quieter than normal. his friends would try to talk to him, but he wouldn’t answer. he would be staring at you whenever he saw you, fiddling with his thumbs and sighing. he really messed up this time. he could’ve told you there and then that he liked you, so why didn’t he do it? there wasn’t excuse for what he did.

all he could do is sit back and watch as you became happier. your bright smile gleaming with pride and happiness only made him want you even more. he and his friends knew he messed up, and he didn’t know what to do.

it wouldn’t hurt to talk to you, at least? talk to you about what happened and how things could’ve gone better. yeah, yeah he could say those things! or at least one. four months of faking dating, but “breaking up” was hard. he liked to think they were in a real relationship, and knowing this is what heartbreak feels like, he didn’t like at all.

as you walked down the sidewalk, you were scrolling through your phone and looking at whatever was on your screen. a bunch of animal videos could keep you company. though, you didn’t really need your phone since yunho jogged behind you, tapping your shoulder when he reached you.

“y/n,” he panted. “you’ve been avoiding me this whole week. why? i told you the truth, i don’t know what you’re getting mad at me.” but it wasn’t the truth.

“you lied and lead me on, yunho. whether or not the relationship was fake, if you didn’t like something then you should’ve told me. but instead you lied to me. then when i told you i liked you, you acted like a bitch. why would i even try to talk to you after that?”

“y/n, please. i’ve sent stuff to your dorm room to get your attention and you always ignore it. i try passing notes to you in class, you don’t respond. i’m trying my best here.”

“stop trying to make it up to me, you can’t!” you raise your voice. “you’ve already done the damage, i don’t know why i even decided you would be a good option for a fake relationship when so many people have said you lied to them! i don’t know why i trusted you!”

“i…” he didn’t know what to say. “i’m… i’m sorry.”

“just don’t talk to me for a while. i think it’s better i find someone else to actually date rather then faking an entire relationship with a man whore.”

“b-but, i had something to tell you.” yunho finally gave in. if he told her now, this could solve every single problem he had. all he had to do was say “i like you” and everything would be over, right?

“what?”

“i, well, i lied. i lied about not liking you. it sounds stupid because it is stupid but i really do like you y/n. i—i liked you after the first month. b-but i didn’t know how to tell you because i thought it was stupid and i thought you’d get mad at me, but it turns out you did like me…”

you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. what person lies about liking somebody only to tell them a week later that they were lying? it was weird.

“yunho, don’t fucking lie to me again. i said we should go out separate ways, so let’s do that—”

“there are other ways to deal with this. please, don’t leave!” he was desperate. you couldn’t just leave him like this anyway, you were too nice of a person to do that. you pinched the bridge of your nose and shook your head in disbelief. when you were just starting to feel better, yunho came crashing in.

“i can’t say i don’t still like you, but you need to earn my trust back. and i don’t just mean telling me the truth 24/7, but actually showing that you care and that you want to be in a… real relationship with me.”

“i will! i’ll show you everything i need to show you! you’re the first person i really ever liked, i don’t want to lose you.” he pouted. now he looked more adorable than hot.

“it’s okay, yunho.” you pet his cheek gently. “you won’t lose me.”

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: April 8, 2024 🎀

Monday was a decently good day for me. Me and my boyfriend had to sort out some stuff after arguing Sunday night but everything is good now, work had went amazing, and I got a lot done. I know everyone hates Mondays but I genuinely look forward to them.

🩷 What I Accomplished:

assigned reading quiz for psyc

chemistry homework

chemistry extended lab report (finally got my notebook back)

2 medical terminology lectures

medical terminology flashcards

medical terminology self + timed test

meeting with a financial aid advisor

submitted my application for a 2nd job on campus

prepped myself amazing at work

studied Spanish

made a study plan for chemistry for the rest of the semester

🩷 Good Things That Happened:

got to see my dad for a short bit

work went super good and I finished very quickly

got to zoom call my boyfriend and it went well

started the first episode of Parasyte The Grey on Netflix and in already hooked

got my lab notebook back from my friend

was able to leave my study room early due to lack of stuff to do

have more space in my room now cause my dad took a bunch of stuff I needed to get rid of

drank half a gallon of water total (I never drink that mih even tho realistically I need more water then that daily)

🩷 What Could've Gone Better:

ate too much and didn't eat the healthiest, but that's okay because everyday is a new day and a new chance to make some good choices

could've spent more time the past weeks looking at the stuff for my lab report so I would've gotten more right

got my chem exam back and I don't think I did as well as I hoped, but the professor hasn't posted grades yet so idk

realized I definitely need to study chemistry more then I thought

So, Monday was definitely a good day overall. I was surprised by how well work went and how everything felt but not mad about it at all! I love having good days! Let's hope Tuesdays just as good <3

btw, check out my depop shop if you get the chance, will be uploading more stuff soon!

til next time lovelies 🩷

💕 Song of The Day:

ILLIT -- Magnetic

When I say this song has been on repeat....I mean it's been on REPEAT. such a catchy song, I love the Kpop genre so much <3333

[oldpotatoe]

hiii this is. slightly odd i think?? but i just wanted to say thank you for something, because it's really changed my life. when i first started reading flwogb i had just finished my gcses and was picking my A levels, and i saw here on tumblr smth u posted about how you'd done a degree in a bioscience subject and that you were going into intellectual property. i'd never heard of that kind of career path before, but it sounded so interesting so i looked into it and thought i'd probably like to do something like that in the future. which is why i ended up doing 3 sciences and law at A level (MIGHTT have been a mistake doing all 4 bc it nearly killed me but hey)

fast forward to now, i'm doing a biochemistry degree and hoping to get a placement at a law firm dealing with life science intellectual property, all because i stumbled across your fic way back in 2020 by complete accident!! it's genuinely changed my life bc i would literally never have known about a career that feels so tailor made to my specific interests in science AND law together 💞 soooooo thank you haha, i really wouldn't be as happy now if it hadn't been for a random post u made like 3 years ago lol xx

(i do kind of want to kill myself when it comes to january exams on organic chem, genetics, thermodynamics, and biochem tho 😭😭 i love science but at what COST 😭)

hello! first of all:

not odd at all! this is one of the sweetest asks i've ever received i think??

also 3 SCIENCES AND LAW AT ALEVEL??? just thinking about that made me want to lie down. i admire your very undoubtedly wrinkly brain

i'm so very glad i was able to help you on your career journey like this! even i didn't know being a solicitor (specialising in life sciences intellectual property) or a patent attorney was a thing until i was in my final year of my biomed degree, so it makes me very happy that i was able to spread the knowledge about it this way!

best of luck in your jan exams (thinking about my biochem modules from uni still makes me queasy) i'm sure you'll do very well! and i hope you get that placement-- definitely look out for resources such as Aspiring Solicitors, Rare Recruitment or STRIVE that help students get access to the legal field and can help out with applications/interviews! Aspiring Solicitors in particular do a very helpful STEM mentoring scheme with a few IP law firms, so definitely one to check out

you got this <3

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Worthy, pt13

part 1 & 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12

__________

tags: @bolontiku, @rampant-salamander, @darkdragonpheonix , @440mxs-wife,  @castiels-sunflowers, @peekingsunshine, @alexakeyloveloki, @feelmyroarrrr

word count: 3712

__________

There’s only been a few times in my life when I’ve been desperate to become invisible. In eighth grade, when Jimmy McFadden found out I had a crush on him, he responded “That nerd? She wishes,” in front of most of the school before commenting on my jiggly bum. That wasn’t the part that made me want to vanish. It was when he said it was a shame I was such a nerd because I had “such excellent knockers”. That’s when I prayed for a hole to appear in the floor and suck me away because honestly, hell would have been preferable. And my boobs weren’t and still aren’t, that great. In senior year, the self-same boy, who’d become even more impossibly handsome, asked me to prom, but quickly announced that he’d only done it because he needed help studying for his chem final and figured if he showed me a good time, we’d both get something out of it. I wasn’t sure about how his plan to deflower me worked out to mutual benefit. But once again, I wanted to disappear into the ground, never to be seen again.

Once I hit college, I was able to retreat from social circles that were petty and indifferent to the emotional games that teenagers played, and I hadn’t had any further incidents of mortification. Until now, on learning I could potentially manipulate the emotions of those people around me. I was ashamed and embarrassed. What if every emotionally charged encounter in my life had only occurred because I had willed it into existence? Every first date that had gone well, or every one that had gone poorly, might have done so because I wanted it. Every man I’d ever been with flashed through my mind. It was a short slideshow, but what if they’d only been with me because I made them think they wanted it?

“Oh god,” I flinched. What if Bruce had only kissed me because my stupid college crush had resurfaced and forced him to? “Oh god. I have to go.” I stood up.

“We aren’t done yet, sunshine,” Lex put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me back on the exam table.

“No, I have to go. I can’t be around people. I need to be locked away from everyone so my feelings don’t affect them.” I stood back up.

“And yet, regardless of your determination to go, you aren’t forcing me to let you go with your brain. So sit the fuck down, and let’s finish this assessment.” She raised an eyebrow, like she was daring me to try to mess with her head.

“Maybe you’re immune,” I argued, “because Loki has affected you too.”

“Affected is an interesting word. Tainted might be better.” She looked over her shoulder, “does anyone out there feel an overwhelming urge to suit up and help Ella escape?” A chorus of negative answers returned. “See? We’re solid. Settle your boots.”

I relaxed just slightly, somewhat in awe of Lex Richmond. She had a different kind of confidence than I did, one that was tough. Like she’d been run through a gauntlet to get where she was. My confidence came from being told every day of my life that I could do and be whatever I wanted. I got the impression that Lex had fought for each accomplishment in her world. I suspected some people probably found her brusque, but I found her honest approach refreshing and reassuring.

She steered me toward the super swanky MRI she and Tony had developed, and I found that I was right. She was reassuring because she was honest.

“I don’t know how you feel about small spaces, but I fucking hate them. Unfortunately, MRIs need to be smallish in order to get a good image. We enlarged the space as much as we could but it wound up being just a few centimetres. There’s some clicking that happens in there, and the machine whirs, but if you tell me what kind of music you like, I can jack some tunes to you.” She made the explanation seem like a social chat. It relaxed me quite a bit.

She hadn’t told me about the super secret light show she and Tony had wired into the MRI, so while I listened to music, I got to watch a colour organ project colours across the inside of the machine. If anything, it was hard to remember not to bop my head to the music. The time past faster than I thought it should have. She led me back to the med lab and walked me over to a treadmill.

“So now we’re going to check your endurance. When this happened,” she gestured at her arm, “I was suddenly enhanced. I could run faster for longer with little effect on my general energy store. Since you’ve always been this way, I’m curious to see how you do.”

I snorted. “I can’t run for shit, Lex.”

“Show me,” she nodded at the treadmill. I hopped on and let her get me started. And of course, she started me way too fast. I slowed the machine down and kept it to a brisk walk. She raised an eyebrow but at my returned glare, said nothing. I kind of wished it was one of those swanky treadmills with the TV attached because I hated being social when I was sweating, but staring at the wall was also really boring. The stupid thing could have at least faced the window so I could look out over the city. After ten minutes I was feeling kind of done, and said so. Lex laughed and shook her head.

“This is an endurance test. And you’re walking, not running. So you can either choose to run, which will burn you out faster, or keep walking all night,” she laughed. I gaped. “I know. Bitchiest doctor that ever lived in bitchy doctor land, right?”

“Something like that,” I huffed, but I increased the speed on the treadmill. Not quite to a run, as I wasn’t sure my heart would take the shock. I had done next to nothing other than sit in a lab during my Master’s studies.

“What’s your sport?” She asked.

“I don’t have one.” It wasn’t actually true. I’d been on a rep soccer team during high school and my undergrad was on a soccer scholarship.

“I don’t buy it,” she disagreed.

“She had a full ride for soccer in college,” Tony offered from across the room. I scowled in his direction.

“This should come back then,” Lex laughed, and bumped the speed up so I was jogging. I grunted and lurched forward into a run. The thing about soccer was it was short bursts of really intense exertion. I was not a distance runner. I could do bursts of speed, but I had put on weight during the last few years, and I was out of shape, so I doubted those bursts of speed would really be considered speedy. I settled into a slow jog and focused on a spot on the wall, and let the soundtrack that was constantly running in my head take over, tuning everything around me out. I wasn’t paying any attention to Lex when she pressed the stop button, and I stumbled a little on the slow down, but didn’t quite lose my balance.

“I thought you said this was endurance?” I asked. Lex nodded at the clock on the treadmill with an eyebrow quirked. It said sixty minutes.

“How long was I running?” I asked, double-checking the clock. Yeah, it said sixty minutes.

“Fifty minutes. At 5 miles per hour. So I’d say you’ve got some endurance left. You should consider taking running up,” she suggested.

“You say that to everyone,” Tony snorted. “Lex is desperate for running buddies. I think she might be bored of Steve.” Lex smacked Tony in the arm, laughing.

“That’s not true!” She protested. “About Steve, anyhow. I do like having new running partners though.”

“I’m not going to start running. I like sitting. And feeling my ass get bigger.” I stepped off the treadmill and sat down on the nearest chair to illustrate my point. “Only thing missing right now is some ice cream.” Lex shook her head and handed me a bottle of water.

“Use your imagination,” she teased. I stuck out my tongue and reached for the towel on the crossbar of the treadmill to wipe myself off.

XXX

I’d managed to escape for a shower while Lex crunched the data on my assessment. I wrapped myself in one of the super plush awesome towels I’d purchased and padded across my room to get dressed when a voice interrupted me.

“Ms. Carmichael, Dr. Richmond would like to see you in the med lab.” The crisp British accent startled me. I shrieked and jumped into my closet. “Your heart rate has just accelerate, Ms. Carmichael. Should I assume you haven’t read your suite orientation manual?”

“I skimmed it!” I argued.

“In that case, I am J.A.R.V.I.S., the artificial intelligence Mr. Stark has programmed, primarily for his benefit. I am, however, in use throughout the tower, and can see to any needs you may have as they arise. Which includes forwarding messages like the one I just passed on.”

“Right. Uh, thanks?”

“That is not necessary, but you are welcome, Ms. Carmichael.”

“Okay.” I stepped out of the closet. “You can’t see me, can you?”

“No, visual monitoring would be a violation of your right to privacy in your own home,” it (he?) responded.

“But you can monitor my vital signs?”

“For your safety only, Ms. Carmichael.” I couldn’t help but look at the ceiling when it spoke. I dropped my towel and dressed hastily, not quite believing that there was no video link, but deciding if there was video, it was because everyone at Stark Industries was destined to see me naked, or in some state of undress. I hurried out of my suite and back to the med lab.

“Did you know there’s an AI in the ceiling? Creepy as hell.” I asked Lex as I walked through the door. I didn’t realize Tony and the gang were still hanging around, until I heard Tony stifle a laugh. I shot him a dirty look and turned back to Lex. “So?”

“You have some clear differences from Loki, which makes sense, as you aren’t a clone. And you and I have some pretty clear differences as well. I’m significantly stronger than you. But your intelligence is off the charts,” Lex offered.

“We didn’t do any intelligence testing.” I was confused.

“Tony might have hacked some networks to get some extra information. Did you know that you qualified for Mensa when you were, like, six?”

“Yes.”

“Did you know they rescinded your qualification when you were nineteen because they decided you must have cheated?” She pressed.

“No. But it doesn’t surprise me. I rewrote every exam in first year for the same reason until the college decided that I had to write all my exams in a private room.”

“That didn’t bother you?” She asked.

“After high school? No. The academic advisory panel approached it like they were looking out for both our interests, and I agreed. It ensured there was no dishonesty on either side,” I shrugged. “It meant I didn’t have to keep worrying about rewriting exams.”

“That’s a remarkably calm response,” she raised an eyebrow, as though she didn’t believe I could be zen about anything.

“Just because Loki has self-control issues doesn’t mean I do. My mother is the calmest, coolest person I’ve ever met. I do have half her DNA, you know.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Lex broke into a wide grin.

“You know, that’s so true. I can’t help but focus on the Loki in you, but your mum must be pretty remarkable to have attracted his attention. You’ll have to fill me in on the story,” Lex leaned back against a counter and scribbled some notes on her tablet, “but another time.”

“Sure. In the meantime, can I go? I have a ton of work to catch up on.” I had found all the testing pretty invasive, and really wanted some time in the lab, alone with my thoughts, to build stuff. Lex didn’t say no, so I took the opportunity to leave, heading down to the Starbucks in the lobby for an enormous cup of coffee before heading to the lab.

XXX

I was alone in the lab. It was beautiful. I had half expected some of the night-labbers to be hanging around, but it was eerily quiet. I accessed the online radio and set up some music to break up the silence as I worked on the water reclamation miniaturization. My parents had always teased me about being born in the wrong decade, and I was completely thrilled to find a Big Band music station. The speaker on my desk was set at the perfect level to not interfere with my work; not so loud that it irritated me, and not so quiet that it was distracting. I tapped my foot and pulled my magnification glasses back down. Tony had dropped a set of customized tools off for me before I’d headed home and I was astonished and pleased with how well they fit my hands.

I must have lost track of the time as I worked, but I realized I was sitting in silence again. The playlist on the radio station had been about three hours. I flicked through the screen and found another similar playlist and hit play. The familiar strains of one of my favourite torch songs filled my space and without realizing it, I started singing along. Singing was my guilty pleasure. It released stress, and made me happy. In light of the discovery earlier in the day, it was probably a good idea I keep singing. It would at least have the side effect of making the people around me happy.

“Is there anything you can’t do?” A voice pulled me out of the tiny space my vision had tunneled down on. It took a minute before my eyes acclimated to the dark lab space after staring down on my backlit workbench. I pushed the magnification glasses up to the top of my head.

“Bruce,” I breathed. “Uh, hi.”

“Tony said he could hear you singing and that he couldn’t help but smile. I could use some happy,” he apologized.

“How did he –“ I paused, “Nevermind. J.A.R.V.I.S, can you block the audio feed from this lab?”

“Certainly, Ms. Carmichael,” it responded. “And activate override block protocols,” Bruce added. I quirked an eyebrow at him. “So Tony can’t just override your request unless he comes down and does it from here.” He explained.

“Of course, Dr. Banner.” The AI sounded almost sentient; the tone it spoke in was so familiar and friendly. I began to clear away my mess and realized my project drawers were cluttered and messy, and half the reason I’d wanted to work was to tidy them. I emptied the debris out of the reclamation apparatus drawer onto the top of my desk and stowed it. As Bruce watched in what appeared to be horrified awe, I cleared out my drawers and began organizing parts and components in the small storage containers that Markus had left on my desk before the weekend in a subtle suggestion that I needed to better organize myself.

“How do you get anything done?” He asked.

“A clean desk is a sign of a diseased mind,” I retorted, flicking various screws into containers according to size. Bruce leaned back against the desk beside me, his arms crossed over his chest. I felt like I was being graded, or somehow measured. “You can’t fail me in this lab, Doctor.” I winked. He chuckled. It was a low rumble, warm and friendly.

“To be honest, Tony is more disorganized than you are. You might win the intelligence leg of this triathlon though.” He pushed off the edge of the desk and stepped over to look at my various piles of supplies. “You have plans for all this?”

“Hell no, I always over-order and then just return stuff to distribution. Saves me having to reorder during a project,” I laughed.

“And one of the stores trolls hasn’t come to kill you in your sleep? They have to recount every single one of those million teeny screws when you return them, you know.”

“I’m sure they have a sorter or a counter or something. I’m not going to mess around with having to worry about lot numbers and compliance and quality control issues by having to reorder,” I shook my head and shrugged.

“I think Tony might be the only one who gets away with that,” Bruce warned me.

“Well, no one has come to stab me in the eye yet.” I snapped the lid on a container and pulled out the deep drawer at the bottom of my desk. Bruce let out a low whistle. “That’s impressive, Ella.”

He squatted down beside the drawer and lifted a few containers out of the drawer. My real dirty secret, despite how slobby Markus though I was, was that I wasn’t slobby at all. My materials were all managed and labeled when they were not in use. My desk was only a mess when I was mid-project.

“There’s a lot of spare parts here,” Bruce commented.

“I keep enough to rebuild every component I’ve actively worked on in a six month period. Don’t tell anyone. I like to cultivate the messy genius mystique.” I took the containers back and carefully placed them in their original spots. I wasn’t sure if Bruce had noticed that they were in part number order, and I wasn’t sure I wanted him to know. I dropped a piece of paper on the stacks to separate them from what I was going to add, so I didn’t have to figure out where to start the next time I was in the lab.

“Can I buy you dinner?” Bruce suddenly asked. I lost my grip on the drawer and slammed it shut by accident, startling both of us.

“Sorry!” I exclaimed. Bruce cringed.

“I’m sorry. Of course you wouldn’t. I’m probably close to twenty years older than you.” He pushed his hand through his hair and began to back away. I grabbed his arm to stop him.

“You might be ten years older than me. Maybe?” I reassured him. “I’m starving. So I hope you meant right now.”

“Reassure me I’m not robbing the cradle first.” He looked so uncomfortable that I couldn’t help but smile.

“My thirtieth birthday is in three weeks.”

“Oh. You’re much older than you look,” he blurted. “I’m sorry. I mean, you look quite youthful.”

“I’m half Jotun teenager, it’s okay to say I look young.” I realized my hand was still on his arm. “In fact, I’ll even be flattered when you tell me I look young when we’re old and grey.” What was wrong with me? Why would I say something so bold and outrageous to him before we’d even made it through one date? I wanted to fade into a corner, and melt into a pool, and ooze down an air vent to get away.

“Maybe we should get through dinner first.” His smile was awkward, but not unfriendly. I laughed uncomfortably. In the weird silence that followed my stomach growled loudly. We both laughed and the strange moment was over. “Before your stomach unleashes the Other Guy, even.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I agreed and we headed to the elevator.

Bruce led me out into the warm night, and stopped and looked in both directions, deep in thought. “Three blocks that way is some of the best Thai you’ll ever eat. Six blocks the other way is a great burger place.” My eyes fell on the hot dog cart across the street.

“I’ve never had street meat in New York City,” I tugged him toward the sidewalk. He looked at me, his brow wrinkled in surprise.

“This isn’t really a first date, Ella,” Bruce protested.

“I’d argue our first date was when you kissed me,” I winked, and slipped my hand in his and pulled him across the street. I stopped in front of the street vendor and flashed my best smile. The guy grinned back.

“What’ll it be for you, prinzessa?” He was every hot dog cart street vendor trope I’d ever seen in a TV show. I brought my hands to my face to mask my excitement.

“Just a hot dog and a diet Coke, I guess,” I ordered and tilted my head at Bruce. “He’s buying.” I told the guy all the stuff I wanted on it, and greedily took it from him. Before Bruce could even pay for it, I’d taken a huge bite. So good.

“You’re going to pay for this later,” Bruce shook his head and took a bite from his hot dog. I shook my head and sat on the nearest bench.

“No. So good, so worth it.” I looked up at the tower and shook my head. The hot dog, the dream job, the high school crush buying me dinner. Some weird balance in the universe was trying to make up for my dubious parentage, at any rate. There was something so ordinary and nice about sitting there with Bruce, eating hot dogs and saying nothing. Like I wasn’t the daughter of a god, and he wasn’t the incredible Hulk. Like we were completely normal, albeit genius level intelligence, people. I sighed and took a sip from my drink. Bruce’s arm snaked around my shoulder and he leaned over and kissed my forehead. I slid my bum closer on the bench and leaned against him.

“You sure this isn’t a first date?” His voice broke the quiet peace between us.

“Why?” I laughed.

“Because it’s the kind of first date we’ll talk about when we’re old and grey.” His voice rumbled in his chest. I looked up at him, a little bit surprised. He’d seemed so cautious while we were still in the tower. He dipped his head and his lips met mine.

[andstilliam]

yesterday i went for a walk to the walmart to get my scientific calculator for chemistry. i have a graphing calculator which we are not allowed to use for tests and exams. i probably could’ve had accessibility give the green light but i don’t even know how to use the graphing function very well first of all. secondly, it was giving me the wrong answers for stoichiometry equations. by getting the calculator at walmart instead of the bookstore, i saved about $5-8.  

today i finished my psych quiz, bio lab and my part of my biology lesson. i wanted to get that out of the way so i can focus on chemistry all day tomorrow and over the weekend to prep for my exam but i did not finish my to do list. so i have to work on it tomorrow morning before starting chem. i accidentally completed the 2nd quiz for psychology before the 1st one and it was on neuronal signalling which i actually learned about over the summer with action potentials so that was cool to come across familiar terminology. repetition makes revision easier. unfortunately i missed the chem exam review via teams today. i totally forgot about it. but that’s okay. there’s so much stuff online. i might skip chem tomorrow morning because it's posted online afterwards anyway and i really need to finish this bio lesson because i can't let it pile up later. the notes are endless for that course.

i’ve been some having some nausea and dizziness lately. i still have some zofran left and i’m thinking of taking them again. 

honestly i can’t believe how easy life can be when you’re treated somewhat fairly. even just realizing i can easily access accommodations, like it changes everything. i can’t believe all that discrimination over the years was done just to make me skinny, depressed, hopeless and self destructive. that’s so fucked up, like just tell me to be skinny to access the basics and pleasures of life and i will… that’s a fantastic life if you ask me! in that case, i think a lot of us enduring anorexics are much happier having acquired that knowledge, the truth (at least those of us with a level of functionality). i will sacrifice my health and a deluded sense of “recovery” if it means i can get a degree, absolutely i will. no problem at all! anyway, all that matters is that i look the part. so that’s coming soon and i will never let it gooooo. 

aside from whatever may be brewing outside of me, on an internal level, it was always important for me to solidify my eating disorder behaviours away from the health adversities i faced. there’s such a difference between being in active crisis and finding solace within your disorder. i spent so many years in crisis and feeling like i required a lot of help and care to do the bare minimum. some of that is still true, but it’s not the same. i don’t feel lost without direction the way i once did. i don’t feel like i’m going to die unless i get an MRI— i got one already, like i went through my round of treatment and i feel like i can relax now. i can relax into my long awaited, preferred and perfected behaviours. i waited so long for this, to just be. it’s the external world that creates chaos. it’s the propaganada surrounding eating disorders that makes you perceive yourself as wrong, as less than, like “recovery” is this beautiful journey to embark on and none of that is true. it’s just not true. it creates so much trauma in our lives. i never would’ve felt less than, i never would’ve felt not good enough outside of myself if these sick eating disorder circles didn’t exist online. i would just be going my merry little way and i’d get medical care for any and every complication to occur throughout my life. because life really is that simple. so it completely ruined my mental health and my life and it did for many others too. i’m not alone.

i spent so long completely unable to control myself. it was progressive and i knew something was wrong with me. i waited so long just to get help. for me, this is not a teenage phase or rebellion, anorexia is about being who i am because i find peace in sameness. and i was unable to control my food intake and my response to it as well and that is the sole reason for my suffering here on earth, since i was very young. it’s distressing. and i am not distressed by accepting that i cannot eat regular portions of food like average people and i can even have fun with it and make a game out of it. for me, eating is pain. always has been. my darkest days come from 1) undiagnosed epilepsy and bartter syndrome and 2) believing in a false recovery narrative that was created for the purpose of toying with our mental and physical health. i’m fine exactly as i am. the real barrier is the lack of access to medicine. you can’t wilfully deny care to anyone. a lot of people struggle with their eating but only some of us with poor mental health are chosen to combat the system because we have the right connections, or because of tokenism. think about how much better my life could have been if i was just treated fairly by the medical system, if i was allowed to just be, if jennifer gaudiani never entered my life, if edtwt never existed… i would have been free. anorexic or not. bulimic or not. epileptic or not. i would have been free. the internet destroyed my life. i don’t want to be apart of this. i just don’t understand putting people through hell, children, literal children through hell because you want to prove a point. if i was a doctor and i found out that essentially i’m violating my oath by killing people and tainting the careers of other doctors, i would quit my job for the greater good. you’re just as bad as them. you ruined my life when i could’ve had the chance to move on, to be treated…….and the only way i can contribute to this is by starving myself. you don’t think that my life has more meaning than that? fuck you. and then it looks like i’m refusing to comply with a broken entity rather than the system refusing to work for/ with me. pathetic. how does it feel to be the devil’s advocate? you were better off hiding in plain sight, a wolf in sheeps clothing, because i still would’ve been free. what’s that saying again? oh yeah, misery loves company. as long as my family can protect me from these horrible doctors and help me get a job, well, that’s a fantastic life, i must say. i mean, i’m pretty mad….i’m still processing but also, like, this is the coolest thing i’ve ever been apart of in my entire life. i feel like i’m in a spy kids movie except the doctors are the evil sadists entrapping us and i don’t have cool intelligence gadgets to stop them. spy kids is way cooler. hopefully i can contribute in other ways aside from maintaining a low weight, but whatever works, i guess. ;) 

hopefully next year i can take stats and cs courses again.

mom saw a neuro hottie today, she said. my future hubby will definitely be a neurologist or at least a neuroscientist! :P

[boyfhee]

i will never give you any warnings (゜ロ゜) hehe, you got what rank, 6k and 676 marks, cae didi i could never. have a huge respect for you and i wlnder how much you might have studied and worked hard for it. such a scam :(

my dad bought a management seat, but the admission office said to apply for counselling in rounds 1 and 2 so that we can get fees concestion. by admission was done yesterday, and could you believe that i saw final year students in the seminar hall, they wore their robes but i dont think it was graduation.

i saw a senior rome around the campus bunking classes, lmao and that dude was my dad's friend's friend son :-O such a surprise. i actually took cse course, just pure cse no ai or ml or ds.

for my dad, half off the tension have been cured and next is my sister's who want to join bipc (-)_(-) lol my dad is saying she won't study but now that 30% of the syllabus has been removed (is it 30% or just a few chapters..) i think it would be easy to get seat in our state rather than joining aiims 🥲

well, let's talk about me and only me 🤭 i had dreams of becoming a doctor, but sadly, i have fear of blood and needles like injecting them on someone. i gave on the last minute and join mpc. never knew my life would be this messed up haha 🙃

jay, did you see his new segment – jjong ddu ddu, he is so cute. he is y(our) ddu ddu 😭🫶🏽 i love him so much. also since when were you an enha stan and when did you get into kpop??

— lover club anon <3

PLEASEEEEE i was fighting demons while preparing for this and this is what i get in return TT i think bio comes to me naturally, which is one reason why i chose this field, but phy and chem were the real challenge and gave me the hardest time ( but i have improved a lot which is the main thing here )

and i would love to give more tips on counselling but i barely have any TT my dad usually keeps a check of these things— he literally told me to focus on studies and he will handle the rest, i love him :> also cse is fun ! again, i'm not very knowledgeable about it since that isn't my field, but i enjoyed coding and studying cs in highschool. html was my thing, but python...can it die :/

also good luck to your sister with pcb ! it's true a lot of chapters have been removed, but a bunch of stuff has been added as well, especially the practical skills— which are being asked in these exams. it's going to get worse in the coming years with the amount of students that appear for neet, but i hope your sister makes it through nonetheless. and also wishing u good luck for college :D

and omg luckily i do not have fear of anything but i'm scared as hell because what if i faint in front of the cadavers ㅠㅠ plus i absolutely cannot stand formaldehyde. but it's okay, there are a lot more fields for you, i hope you have fun studying and working in them ><

also, i haven't had the time to watch jong ddu ddu ( what a cute name, by the way ) but i've been seeing pics and clips all over twitters. he's so adorable and bf coded aaa >///< i got into kpop around 2018 i think ? and have been an engene since dimension : answer era. what about u :O

[onlyfishcansaveusnow]

3/18/2024 Fisheries Oceanography

Right so I dont know whats going on at any given moment in this class and I 100% didn't do the readings.... which is and might be more problematic than I want but alas; me versus scientific journals is a battle i will never win especially if the journal is 33 god forsaken pages. But I digress. does this have a character limit?

Welcome to the shit show! today we are going to go over some larger scale processes (woot woot I still don't understand the smaller scale processes but whatever). First we get to diccus the shit show that was exam 1 (i did get an email that i have the opportunity to improve my grade because I did just that bad..) i swear to god if I'm the only one in person today I'm going to riot. fuck. anyway. week 10... great. exam 2 is the last five week of the semester ew. its going to be the same format as exam 1 *joy joy*. the final is going to be closed book my hope are so high:) lol i had the lower end of the undergrad reage at a whopping 80.7%.... bruh grammar and capitalization is a bitch and apparently you get docked points (which is so fair im just salty). we have to add fcking titals now gross. this is an essay prompt i didn't realize we needed to get all up and fancy with this jesus christ. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE FISH OCE REF STYLE!!! "its pretty standard" - clearly not can you give a spark notes of what the fuck that is. like a break down of thestlye you want/??? SUBSECTIONS?! this was suppost to be a one page single spaces how am i suppost to add subsections?! add quanitative detalis? how when the questions suggest otherwise. *do you know how much this makes me want to die? jesus christ i didnt realize this was going to be so nitpicky of an exam* do we now get to get on with todays material - no not yet we get to diccus the final AH 20% of my grade...

TODAY'S FOCUS - large scale processes, circulation and ocean basins! *oh yay a shorter lecture*

Thermohaline circulation. do we know what this is KINDA. so what it is is a large global scale circulating where surface waters becomes denser than underlying wates and sink creatin vertical circulation in the ocean. this is often wind driven circulation. DEEP open ocean convection tis the cacess by which vigoro's vertical mixing occus down tot great depth in respond to winter time surface buoyancy losses in the sub polar seas, is a significant mechanic of water masses - the densent water are forms at high latitudes ( north Atlantic and southern ocean.) (rip spellcheck) OOO thats a realy nice visual of the thromohailice circulation!!!! we have to get our gruminy hands on that link it would be so helpful ( UCAR- center for science eduction). we also need to get our hand oth figh 8.11 because that would also help be in chem ocn!!

Wind driven circulation - what is is? well dumbass... um. are you familare with the major gyres in N+S patlatnic and Pacific? WELL GUESS WHAT they are driven by global wind whis are dieven by inequalities in the solar enegy flux between the equatior and the poles. * fuck oh joy joy something confusing* ~ in both atl. and pacf. basins sub topic gyers(circulate anti cyclonic ( do you know aht the even means? and clock wise in .. *OH MY GOD I WANST DONE GAH GO BACK fuck it* ) still on the same topics western margins of thes gyer had particualy intence currents ( gulf stream and kuroshi current are sub tropic) Labrador current and oyashio current ( are sub POLAR). did you know that organisms in these can be transported long distances!western boundary currents meander and can cause eddies which are conveniently important feature for entertaining(?) food for consumers *there was a whole text box that she blew threw no wonder i can't keep up in this class*

WOW the major flow of the water in the atlanic is in a clockwise direction. the circulation in the north atlatin is linked to artic circulation and what happens up north.... something something about different something.

The fuck is a jumpdrive? you mean a USB flash drive? please sent help. also let me reiterate - I didn't read todays papers. i am s c r e w e d but whats new. now we get to the prestation on the review paper... which is 33 pages. damn her prestation is so good. ok i dont knwo whats going on. rip my participation points oh well. maybe ill ask about the citation format when we are done and gain something.

Questions to gain participation points: explain the citation system. can we go into depth of anticyclonic vs cyclonic gyres and what that means/impacts?

I didn't realize i would have to write my citations by hand because its a super specific citation system that is a mash of APA and MLA and whatever the fuck else fish ocn peeps deem acceptable.

[meowzfordayz]

Ripp, hopefully you got some progress done on that paper and did well on your exam? 🥺 I totally feel ya with chem- my AP exam is coming up fast 😪 I think I got somewhere in the 50% range on my mock which earned me a 3, so hey I’m still probably passing the real thing at least! 🥲 Istg I went into this class fr thinking I could get a 4 or a 5 and got humbled RQ as the year progressed LMAO. Oh well, I’m just desperate for that college credit atp haha 💪 I did recently get a 100 on an in-class history essay tho, so pretty proud ab that at least! ☺️

Ah yeah, that’s a topic that can get pretty messy and heated 😬 Glad you’re not going to entertain the hate tho, and hopefully it‘ll be your last!! 😌

I’m doing alright for the most part; just dealing with some cliché academic stress and a bit of boy drama (especially now that prom season is here 😖), but I’m managing- tysm for asking!! 💕

Where I’m at it seems like we’re finally getting over a bout of chilly clouds and rain (a bit sad since that’s my type of weather 🌧️) and headed into warmer weather that actually feels like spring/summer! ☀️🏖️ I’m definitely excited since school’s almost done, but also nervous since I’m going to be focusing and stressing on more on college-related matters and possibly my first real job?? 👀 I feel quite wistful looking back at all my past summers when I could be completely carefree without the pressure or responsibility of almost being an adult, but time flies fast and sooner or later we all have to grow up, right? Lmao, hopefully that doesn’t sound too pretentious- 😅

- 💜

P.s. Tysm for the kind words in your shoutout; it means a lot! Ty as well for always being such a lovely person to talk with!! 🥺💕💕

Hiya! 😁

I finished my paper ~early last Friday (@ 5pm — it was due 11:59pm 😏), and got a C on my orgo chem exam. 🥳 As long as I get C’s (or higher lmao) on exams, and A’s on everything else, then I’m guaranteed a B overall (aka how I’ve earned B’s in all my chem classes thus far lol). 🤓 AP Chem sounds HARD. 😭 I’m rooting for you !! 🤞🏽 (and I’m proud of you & your 100 😍)

It’s almost summer — hang in there !! 😤☀️ But ooh boy drama ????? 👀 I made a deal w/ my friend freshman yr that if neither of us had dates, then we’d go together. 🤝 We ended up getting sushi beforehand 😋, and then attending prom afterwards. He’s still a friend, and I��m grateful for him. 💞

Your first real job?! That’s so exciting !! 🫢 I started working @ 16, so I’ve actually been working for… 7 yrs now (through college). 🥲 Adulthood’s def glorified when you’re younger, but (imo) don’t let ~reality bog you down too much either !! 🤪

It’s absolutely a give & take, gains & losses — lots of growing, some bits wonderful, and others bittersweet. Being aware of my privilege and opportunities has been super helpful for me in terms of not taking things for granted, as well as developing a strong work ethic + putting forth effort that *I’m* proud of myself for. ☺️ Never be afraid to ask for help, but also try your own best first and foremost❣️

I hope the future treats you kindly, and that you trust in yourself and your choices. 💗 Sending you almost-Friyay vibes !! 🤗

P.S. College does matter—it’s an amazing privilege and opportunity—buuut at the same time, it doesn’t determine the rest of your life, so don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

[mackenzielovee]

my girl (part 4) - rafe cameron

a/n: SURPRISE! I wrote a part 4 ;) i had this idea right after i said i was only doing 3 parts - but this really is the final one! I really hope ya'll enjoy. It's a little shorter than the rest! (not my gif)

Summary: Nope sorry you have to read!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, kissing, and test anxiety

Word Count: 4.4k

series masterlist

my writing

Your phone buzzing on your nightstand distracts you get again from cramming for your Chemistry final. The exam happens in two days, yet you feel like it might as well be in two hours with the amount of anxiety you have. It's your second year of college, and boy, it hasn't gotten any easier. Thankfully, your roommate is out for the night so you have your entire dorm to yourself to study.

You lean over and check your phone. Another missed call from your fiancee, Rafe. Beside your phone on your nightstand sits your engagement ring. You stare at it for a moment and swallow your feelings, then move back over to your chemistry textbook. Your phone buzzes again - a voicemail from Rafe this time, which you don't bother to listen to.

Chemistry is your focus tonight. Chemistry is what you need to be studying for, what you need to know inside and out. You throw yourself back into it, shutting off your phone when it buzzes yet again. You need absolutely zero distractions.

About twenty minutes into it, you hear a loud knock on the door. You sigh, figuring your roommate forgot her ID or keys again. You pull open the door and sigh, fully shocked when you find Rafe standing at your door. He's out of breath from running inside from the parking lot, and he looks pissed off.

"Oh, good, you're alive," he snaps, pushing his way into your room before you can even invite him.

"What are you doing here?" you ask him, closing the door so none of your nosy neighbors can listen to yet another argument between the two of you.

Things haven't been good. You're sick of him calling and texting you all the time, him begging you to come home, and constantly asking who you're with when you go out. On top of all of that, your classes this semester are harder than they've ever been, but Rafe never respects when you say you need space and time to study.

"Checking to see if my fucking fiancee is breathing!" he shouts, throwing his hands up in the air, "I mean, shit, Y/N, I called you, like, twenty times."

You glance over to the nightstand at your phone, realizing your ring was over there, too. You know he won't like that.

"I shut my phone off. I really need to study, Rafe," you tell him, but he's not listening.

Instead, he collapses onto your bed and puts his head in his hands, sitting directly on your Chem textbook and notes.

"Oh, my God, what the hell? Get up," you snap at him, walking over and pushing him off so he doesn't ruin your notes or textbook pages.

"It's fucking fine," he replies as he stands, barely glancing at your papers.

"No, it's not. I need this shit to pass my exam-" you hold the wrinkled papers up.

"They're literally fine, Y/N," his voice raises, "Stop being so dramatic."

You take a deep breath before you speak again, knowing whatever comes out will not be very nice. You've really been trying to be patient with him, but it's getting harder and harder.

"I'm not being dramatic, Rafe," you say calmly, "I just really need to study and I need peace and quiet."

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck as he debates what to say next. Neither of you want to start a fight, but you both have a lot of shit to say. His eye catches the shiny object on the nightstand and he looks over, figuring out it's your engagement ring.

"What the fuck?" he gasps, picking it up and holding it out to you, "Since when do you take this off?"

You put your hands on your forehead and sigh, realizing this is going to take up a lot of time that you don't have. And the fact that Rafe drove eight hours on a whim because you didn't pick up his calls all day has made you crazy.

"I cannot do this with you right now," you tell him, stepping toward your Chemistry stuff.

You'll just have to go to the library and study if he's going to be here. There's no way you can get any of your shit done with him bitching about your ring.

"Oh, my bad, when can you do it, then?" he rolls his eyes, "Huh? Can you give me, like, a window of time where you're actually available to talk?"

"Rafe-" you start, but he holds his hand up.

"No, because, I mean, I don't hear from you all day, and I'm fucking worried about you, so I make the long ass drive to come check on my soon-to-be wife, and now I'm the bad guy? Yeah, no, I get it now!" he exclaims.

"Jesus, okay, I have to go," you say, grabbing your backpack from the floor and sliding some slippers on.

"Right, to study," he grumbles.

"Yeah, to study," you snap back, "Just because you didn't go to school doesn't mean you can't at least try to understand!"

You rarely raise your voice at him, so Rafe knows you're mad. He stares at you for a second, deciding if he should acknowledge your comment about him not attending school.

"It's not about whether or not I understand, it's about time management," he lectures, making you roll your eyes, "Don't roll your fucking eyes at me."

"Don't show up at my dorm unannounced!" you yell back.

"I wouldn't have been unannounced if you would answer your goddamn phone!"

You take a deep breath and exhale loudly, then step closer to the door. Rafe walks over to you and grabs your arm, spinning you around. You stare up at him like he's crazy, he's never laid a hand on you like that before.

"Put your ring back on," he demands, holding it out in his hand.

"What the fuck is your problem, Rafe? You think I'm gonna get hit on walking to the damn library? Get a grip," you mutter, trying to yank your arm from his grasp but failing.

"I'm not playing," he tells you, holding the ring up in his other hand.

"Neither am I," you snap, "Let go of me."

He stares at you for another few seconds and then releases you, groaning loudly when he does. He steps away from you and runs his hand through his hair, then sets your ring back down on the nightstand.

"What's going on with us?" he grumbles, sitting down on your bed again.

You start to feel bad as you look at him, so you step closer and set your books down on you desk. You open your mouth to speak, to apologize and return your ring to your finger, when he speaks out again.

"Why didn't you answer the fucking phone when I called?"

You close your mouth quickly, swallowing the words you were about to say. You stare at him for a moment, then you decide that it's just best to tell him the absolute, stone cold truth.

"Because I have shit going on, Rafe. I have a Chem final in two days and I'm not at all prepared, I have other finals and an entire paper due by the end of the week, and I have you up my ass about everything in between and it's just a little overwhelming right now."

He brings his head out of his hands and looks up at you. His expression changes from hurt to angry in about one second, so you brace yourself.

"So what do you want me to do to help you, then?" he asks, his voice agitated. You can tell he's trying to be patient, but he really wants to yell.

"I just need you to give me some space right now," you state.

He nods his head, moving his eyes away from yours and down to the floor.

"Space," he repeats, "You want space."

You nod your head slowly, afraid now to speak. You can't tell what his reaction is about to be, but obviously it isn't going to be a good one.

"So, you ignore my phone calls," he holds up one finger, "You take off your engagement ring," another finger, "And now you want space. Do you think I'm a fucking moron?"

He stands up off the bed, now towering over you. Your hands come up to your face, rubbing your eyes to try and relieve some form of stress.

"God, Rafe, you're making this out to be something it's not-"

"Am I?" he shouts, "Do you want to marry me or not? I mean, I really think that's what this boils down to. Am I what you want, or not?"

His yelling combined with your stress and confusion makes you yell back at him.

"I don't know!"

He steps back, almost like you've hurt him, and stares at you with a look you've never seen before. It's anger, betrayal, confusion, and sadness all rolled into one, heartbroken expression. It makes your stomach turn thinking about the fact that you're hurting him.

"Well, there it is," he says, his voice cracking, "I'll just get out of your way, then."

He leans down and grabs the ring from your nightstand, wrapping his large hand around it and then stepping toward the door.

"Rafe, wait," you say, "Where are you going to go? You can't drive home in the dark."

He doesn't turn around, he can't look at you. Not when you're not sure what you want.

"I'll sleep in the truck," he says, his voice weak and quiet.

"No," you protest, "Rafe, I'm sorry."

He stands there for a few seconds, then turns, and you see the tears in his eyes. One has fallen, and rests on the bottom of his cheek. He wipes it away, but not quick enough.

"Why are you sorry? I'm not what you want anymore," he laughs, but nothing is funny.

Another tear falls and you step forward quickly, reaching up to wipe it away. He closes his eyes under your touch, always loving feeling your skin on his.

"I didn't say that," you say gently, tears welling in your eyes from seeing him like this.

"Just..." he trails off, finally opening his red eyes, "Go ace your Chem final. I'll see you at home in a few days."

He reaches up and grabs your hand, removing it from his cheek. He lays a quick kiss on your knuckles, then closes his eyes again when he lets go of you. Not sure if it's his last time feeling you.

He turns to leave, opening the door up before he turns back to you.

"I love you. I always will."

He doesn't wait for your response, he just closes the door behind him. You turn and look at the nightstand where your ring once sat, wishing to God that it was still there. You want to tun after him, but you know you can't. You two just need some cooling off time, you tell yourself. You'll come back again atfer finals when you get home for Christmas break. He'll hold onto your ring for you, you convince yourself of that.

You can't focus. The next day, you spend all your time in the library, staring at a page in your Chem textbook, and all you can focus on is your empty finger. No pretty ring that reflects every ounce of Rafe's love for you. You check your phone, but all you see is an empty screen. Your wallpaper is a cheesy picture of Rafe holding a wine glass. You took it on your anniversary last year and love everything about it, especially his cheesy grin.

Tears start to form in your eyes, so you do what you have to do. You call him. It rings and rings and rings, then you hear his familiar, raspy voice on his voicemail.

Yo, it's Rafe. Leave a message and I might hit you back.

You close your eyes, those two sentences being the most you've heard from him in almost twenty-four hours.

"Hey," you start your message, "Look, I'm sorry about last night. I really want to talk. Please call me back. Love you, bye."

You sigh and hang up the phone, then look down to your book again. You try and try to focus, but you can't. It just is impossible with everything spinning around your brain. You can still see the look on his face when you said you weren't sure, you can still hear him say 'I love you' right before he left.

And it's all you want to hear again.

You slam your book shut and grab your stuff, then make your way out of the library. Once you get outside, you call Rafe again. You hear the same ringing and the same message from his voicemail, so you leave another.

"Baby, please call me. I'm worried about you. I just want us to talk. Please call. I love you."

You hang up and walk back to your dorm, checking every five seconds to see if he's called you back. You really just want to hear his voice, to apologize, and to be able to focus on Chemistry again. Knowing that Rafe is out there hurting is just too distracting.

You call hm again after you get back to your dorm, giving him about thirty minutes to call back before you try him again. When he doesn't answer, you leave another message.

"Hey," you say, your voice sounding more desperate, "I'm going to call Dad and have him come get me. I'm skipping out on my Chem final. I just want to come home and work things out with you. Call me, please. Love you."

And you mean every word. You sit down on your bed and you remember how Rafe had helped you move in on your first day of freshman year. You remember how he made love to you and how he proposed to you in the parking lot before he left. And you remember all the times he came to visit and you two laid in bed and planned out your whole wedding reception together, laughing and joking about who to invite and who to sit together.

As you sit there and remember it all, remember the kisses and the laughs and the feelings you have when you're with him, you've never been more sure in your life. It's Rafe. It will always be Rafe.

You hear a knock on your dorm room door and hop out of bed, rushing over to it. It's him, you hope. Coming to rescue you, coming to hold you, coming to give you your ring back. You pull open the door with a big smile, only to find your roommate, Alex, standing on the other side.

"Hey," she says, looking confused at why you opened the door like that, "Sorry. I forgot my keys."

You drop your shoulders and nod, moving her out of the way. She leaves the door open as she moves over to her side of the room to search for them. You sit back down on your bed, checking your phone once again. He has to call back eventually.

"You're not ditching your Chemistry final."

You look up and see him, standing in the doorway, staring at you. His eyes are tired, his hair is a mess, and he looks like he's hung over. You don't even want to know where the hell he's been for the past day.

"Rafe," you breathe, hopping up from your bed.

You want to throw your arms around him, hug him, and have you hold him. He stops you when you get close to him, holding out his hand to keep distance between the two of you, which practically breaks your heart in two.

"You're not coming home until you take that test," he repeats, "You've been studying for it and if you don't take it, you fail. So, you're staying. I called your dad."

You frown. This is not how you imagined it. He seems colder somehow.

"Okay," you say, "Fine. But I want us to talk."

Rafe shakes his head, leaning against the doorframe. Alex walks up behind you, whispering she will be back later, and leaves with a quick smile to Rafe.

"I'm giving you your space so you can focus. We'll work on us when you're done with the semester."

He sounds firm, but you know you can win this one. You step forward, so close that he can almost feel your skin on his. Your scent fills the air, and you watch as he swallows his feelings.

"Rafe," you say, your voice soft, "I can't focus on anything knowing that I hurt you. I need to talk about us and figure things out. Please."

"Baby," he sighs, and you know you've won just by the return of your nickname. It's your favorite, which is why he calls you it so often.

"Please," you say, taking his hand. Your fingers wrap through his, pulling him inside.

He groans but enters anyway, both of you knowing that he would do anything for you. The door closes behind him, which you're thankful for. You sit him down on your bed and instantly crawl onto his lap, not caring if that's what he wants or not. That's what you need. Your head buries into his chest and your arms wrap around his neck.

"Baby," he says again, this time with more authority.

You bring your lips up to his neck to soften him up, listening to the small moans that come out of his mouth as you work.

"Rafe," you say against his skin, "I'm so sorry for what I said yesterday."

He hums, so you give him a few more kisses on his neck before you pull back to look at him. He stares at you with soft eyes, and you know you've already won him over. But you still need to say what you need to say.

"Truly, baby. I was wrong. I was angry. You are all I want in this world and I couldn't handle any of this without you. I was acting extremely ungrateful and I'm really, really sorry," you continue, watching him smile sadly at you.

"Well," he smirks, moving his hands from your back down to your butt, "I've always known you're a brat, so."

"Hey," you pretend to pout, but really, you just want a kiss. He gives you a slow, gentle one, one that makes you want to melt into him.

"You are the love of my life," he says, "You could never say anything to make me walk. And I'm sorry for being such a dick yesterday and for not respecting your school. I'm gonna get better. This shit is just hard for me, having you all the way here. I just miss you when I'm home."

You nod, reaching up and brushing his hair away from his eyes with your fingers. Even when he hasn't showered, is in the same clothes as yesterday, hasn't styled his hair or even slept well, he still is the most handsome to you.

"I understand. I'm sorry for being so hard on you," you say, kissing him on the cheek.

He smiles against your lips, bringing his hands up to your face to move you down to his lips.

"Are we okay?" he asks you in between kisses.

You hum against his lips, and he takes that as a yes, so he flips you over and lays down on top of you, kissing you like his life depends on it. He quickly moves down to your neck, his hands going underneath your shirt.

"Oh, my God, I missed you, baby," he tells you as you feel him leaving a hickey on your neck.

"Always marking me up," you laugh at him, feeling him smirk against you, "I missed you, too."

"It killed me not calling you back," he continues against your neck, "But I wanted to do right by you, you know?"

You gasp when he bites you slightly, then laugh when you feel his big grin on your neck.

"That's why I love you the way I do," you say sweetly.

He sits up and looks down at you, smirking widely, "Can you love me like you do right now and then get back to your studying?"

You bite your lip and nod, pulling him back down on top of you.

A little while later, you and Rafe lay naked in your bed, just breathing in the other. Rafe is drawing hearts into the skin on your stomach, leaving little kisses every so often on any inch of skin he could reach with his mouth.

"You need to get back to studying," he says, but doesn't stop with his kisses.

"Can I have my ring back first?"

He looks up at you with wide eyes, wondering if you really mean it. He didn't want to bring up the ring, just in case you had changed your mind about the engagement.

"You sure?" he asks quietly.

You grab his chin and pull him up to you, stroking his hair as you give him a couple quick kisses.

"I've never been more sure of anything," you tell him.

He nods and kisses you again, then hops off the bed and pulls the ring out of the zipped up pocket of his shorts. He grins at you and then jumps back in bed, of course landing on you when he does.

"This is a twin bed, you ogre. You can't be jumping and shit, there's not enough room for you!" you say as you try to free your left side from underneath him.

He moves and lets you get situated, then holds out the ring. You hold up your left hand for him ti put it on you once again.

"Will you marry me?" he asks, and you would've laughed at him if his voice wasn't so gentle and nervous.

"Of course I will, Rafe Cameron," you tell him, smiling.

He slides your ring back on your finger and you somehow feel more complete, more whole, knowing it's there.

"It's never coming off again," you tell him, meaning it.

He kisses you softly, "No, it's not."

Rafe takes a shower and then hangs out on your bed on his phone later on to keep himself occupied while you study for Chem at your desk. You ask him to quiz you and he does, even though he knows nothing about Chemistry.

It gets late, so you tell him you'll study the rest tomorrow and hope to be prepared the following day for the exam. You put your book and notes on your desk, then slide into bed with Rafe, who you made stay with you tonight. Although it didn't take much convincing.

"I can't believe your dad is just letting you take all this time off," you mumble against his chest.

"Hmm," Rafe hums, so you know you're wrong, "I've kinda been dodging his calls."

"He'll be mad," you tell him, and he nods.

"I don't care, though. I got what I came here for."

You spend all day the next day studying in the library for Chem and writing your paper, while Rafe packs your things for you. He figures it's one less thing for you to worry about, and then you can just come with him after you finish your exam. He had told you he wanted to be the one to bring you, his soon-to-be wife, home.

Rafe waits for you outside your building on exam day. One by one, students file out of the building, and he gets even more anxious every time you aren't one of them. Eventually, he stops pacing and sits down on a bench, praying that you do well.

He sees you emerge from the building with only ten minutes to spare, and jumps up to greet you.

"So?" he asks, his voice hopeful.

"I won't know for a few days," you tell him, "But I'm confident. I felt like I had most of it under control."

He smiles, taking your hand in his and kissing it, "I'm so proud of you, baby."

You smile and thank him, then put your head on his chest in hopes that he'll wrap his arms around you. With the amount of stress you've been under the past few days, all you want is just for him to hold you right now.

"I'm so proud of you," he repeats, swallowing you up in his arms.

You breathe in his scent and relax, knowing that even if you fail every class you ever take for the rest of your life, you will always have a place in the arms of this boy.

After a few minutes, you move to look up at him by resting your chin on his sternum, staring up at him. He smiles down at you, running a hand through your hair as an attempt to calm you down.

"Take me home, Rafe," you tell him quietly, and he nods.

He reaches down and takes your hand, leading you away from the building. You two go back and grab the remaining items you need to bring home, the rest Rafe already packed in the truck, and then go out to the parking lot to head home.

You feel relieved, ready to spend some quality time with Rafe and really make sure to work on things so that nothing ever gets bad between the two of you again.

He puts you into the truck and closes your door, then hops into the driver's side. He reaches over and takes your hand, staring at the ring on your finger and smiling softly.

"Let's just elope and get it over with," he looks up at you, already laughing because he knows you'll never agree.

"Yeah, I'm glad our wedding is something you just wanna get over with," you roll your eyes, but can't help your smile.

"You know what I mean," Rafe groans, "We don't need all the bullshit and the drama. I just need you. And a minister."

You laugh at him and nod, understanding what he means. He looks down at your hand in his, at the diamond on your finger, and so do you. You honestly can't remember why you took it off, you just know you never will again.

"A small wedding it is," you whisper.

He leans over and gives you a kiss. Then another. Then another. He pulls away and starts the truck, then looks back over a you.

"Baby, I'll do whatever you want."

That sentence combined with the cheesy smile he gives you afterward is what convinces you that, no matter what, Rafe will always be yours, and you will always be his.

Tags: @cmrxac

[splintered-emotions]

Can I get “that dance, that they did today? it kinda reminded me of when we…” with a pairing of you choice 🥺?

Also makes sure to eat and drink water 🔫

okay so this ended up being a tasm!peter parker x gn!reader fic because i had an Idea so here. also it's kinda implied desi!reader, but it can really be read any way.

also you better do the same 🔫

the link to the dance which i mention is here

Finals were over. My bed was calling my name as I walked back from the horrid chem exam that had caused far too many all-nighteres in an attempt to memorize all of the ions and their charges as well as the formulas that we had learnt only a couple weeks ago.

But now, I could sleep for as long as I wanted until I had to start packing everything. Which was not until tomorrow because the dorms were supposed to be cleared out by next Friday. That left at least 18 hours that I could use to conk out if I wanted to wake up by about 9am tomorrow.

Unfortunately, or perhaps very fortunately, my plan was thrown away as soon as I saw Peter sitting on the stairs in front of the building, playing on his phone. “Did your ethics final finish up early? I thought you were supposed to be out by 4 at the earliest.”

“Kenobi cancelled it. Something about his nephew getting sick.”

“Well that leaves plenty of time for our must watch movie marathon we had planned a couple weeks ago.”

“Wasn’t that supposed to be during packing? So then if it gets far too cheesy, we could distract ourselves with loading up some of the boxes?”

“Yes, but I found out one of the ones I used to watch with my friends recently came back onto Netflix. And because I couldn’t find it literally anywhere else without having to pay an extravagant amount of money for one movie, we’re going to enjoy the experience of this movie without the need for literally anything else. Other than snacks.”

“Of course we would have snacks. Why was that ever in question?”

“With your appetite, it never should be.”

“Hey, you know that’s because of the spider bite.”

“Like you didn’t come over to my house and eat half of my snacks alongside your own when we were in middle school.”

“Well, sixth period P.E. for all three years causes a person to get a bit hungry after school.”

“And that doesn’t explain the time that we went to Build-A-Bear and you told me you wanted to eat a bear.”

“That was something I told you in confidence and something that I didn’t expect you to almost yell in front of your dorm.”

“Everyone deserves to know that you looked at a Gollum plushie and went, ‘That looks like it would be a good snack.’” “Were you like this before your chem final?” he asked. “Because I could have sworn the person I fell asleep next to was not out to kill me.”

“I was a different person then,” I stated while leading him into the building. “I cannot be expected to treat someone who decided to sit out here in 90 degree heat for 3 hours while I took my final nicely.”

He gasped dramatically, playing it up despite the fact that some of my neighbors were coming out to see what havoc we were causing today. “I have helped you study for countless tests and quizzes and even stayed up with you until 4am last night and this is how I am thanked? I shudder to call myself your boyfriend with such poor treatment.”

The Bridgerton marathon shortly before finals kicked into full swing seemed to have done something to him. But honestly, as long as we didn’t get another complaint regarding our arguments prior to the time that we made it upstairs, it would be fine. “And what do you say to the hours that I spent reviewing vocabulary with you for a final you didn’t even take?”

“I thought I had the final until I went to Kenobi’s room and saw the note posted on his door. And when I went to text you, I saw that your final had already started and decided against trying to distract you.”

“Well you should have distracted me anyways. Why wouldn’t I have wanted a text from you? After all, it wasn’t like that final was particularly important, I would have passed the class either way. Plus, you’re far more important than some stupid chem final that is only vaguely relevant to my degree.”

“I’m sure Windu would agree with that assessment.”

“Windu has a stick up his ass. Which I can finally say in front of other people because I’m finally out of that fucking class.” It still hadn’t entirely hit me that the school year was finally over, but the fact that I could hang out with Peter without needing to study or work on a project was beginning to cement it.

“True. I’m not looking forward to when I have to take him next year for organic.” He took a second before continuing, “Are we ever going to unlock your door or are you planning on watching it out here?”

“Right, that. I barely even noticed that we were here.” Which was surprising, however, this could easily be blamed on the sleep deprivation and the Peter’s distracting presence.

“You sure you good, sweetheart? You’ve never been that out of it while we were coming up.” He looked worried, but nothing I said would get that concern off his face until the evening was over and we were in bed.

“I’m just distracted because of this thrilling conversation.” I opened the door as I tried to laugh at my own terrible joke in an effort to lessen his worries. “But really, it’s just Windu’s final. That was somehow 1000 times worse than his tests.”

He didn’t look convinced, but, at this point, I’d just take him not worrying over me the entire night and instead enjoying this horribly cheesy movie. DDLJ was always a trip to watch for the first time.

And thankfully, I would get to see his reaction while the two of us staved off sleep in order to see the conclusion of Raj and Simran’s romance. This 3 hour movie was not going to be easy to stay awake through, but his reaction to some of their hijinks would make the lessened sleep worth it.

The living room, if you could even call it that, was cluttered with index cards, notebooks, and textbooks from the previous night’s preparations. There were a couple of boxes in a corner, likely the result of my roommate starting to pack up all of their stuff. They weren’t home based on the lack of rock music echoing throughout the dorm, which meant that we were free to begin this movie as soon as I found it and Peter finished microwaving some popcorn.

After a couple of tries, I eventually reached the conclusion that the movie wasn’t on Netflix. “We have to find something else to watch because I was lied to.”

“I mean the whole point was supposed to be watching a cheesy movie,” he stated as he brought over a massive bowl of popcorn as well as two glasses of water. “So can you think of another one that would be good for the mush that is our brains?”

“I meant there were these Hindi dance movies that I saw pop up a few weeks ago. One of those would be just entertaining enough to get us through tonight.”

“Is that your way of saying that you find me, your beloved partner that you share everything with, boring?” At the end of his statement, his eyebrow arched so high that it almost looked like a bird trying to finally achieve liftoff from his face.

Barely stifling my laughter at the sight in front of me, I replied, “Perhaps.”

The gasp that he let out at that was enough to finally break me. I was bent over laughing as he also broke character and began cackling with me.

As I tried to catch my breath, I wheezed out, “I love you slightly more than I love watching movies.”

“So do I.” And this little confession, something that had been restated in different words over and over again, both took my breath away and soothed the remaining stress from the final. The slow burning flame that rested within my very soul felt warmer for a second.

Disregarding any romantic ideas that may occur due to the sincerity and feelings buried in our words to each other, I instead said, “Well then, I suppose we need to find one of the movies. Because I want to inflict the wonders that is an ABCD movie on you, the uninitiated.”

Street Dancer was the first one that appeared when we typed in “Hindi movie” so it was to be the entertainment for the afternoon.

It went by surprisingly quickly despite the distinct lack of a clear plot outside the dance competition, which was apparently similar to the rest of the movies according to Wikipedia.

“So, what’d you think?”

“That dance that they did kinda reminded me of when we were forced to square dance in middle school.”

“It did what? How was that even close to the weird “promenading that we had to do?”

“It’s the same amount of preplanning and hoping that you don’t screw up that we had.”

“First of all, Accurso was not planning anything. That man just said words. And second, we wouldn’t get dangerously injured if we screwed up, just mocked a bit.”

“True, but doesn’t it still kinda feel like that? The constant anticipation of new cues and the jumpiness of not wanting to fail?”

The more he described it, the more that feeling seemed to resonate throughout a lot of the sequences. “Yeah, I can see that for basically all of them except for Prabhu Deva’s big solo dance in the beginning.”

“But there were some parts where he was dancing with others that definitely were cue based.”

“I mean what wouldn’t be when there’s people who are expected to move that fast without hitting the other person.” That’s when an idea sparked into my brain. “You should do it.”

“Do what?” Peter asked.

“The dance. I kinda wanna see if your spidey senses can help you with the routine.”

“They warn me of danger not fucking up a dance move, babe.”

“That’s what you think, but have you ever tried it?” This was either going to end in Peter showing off some new dance moves or him falling, and I had no idea which it would be. “If you do it, we can go out for ice cream later and I’ll pay.”

“Deal.” And so the challenge was on. He rewatched the first part of the dance at .25x speed about 4 times before stating, “Okay, I think I’m ready.”

“I’m sure you’ll be great honey.”

He took a deep breath and got about 10 seconds into what looks like an extremely overcomplicated version of the dance before falling flat on his ass. My immediate laughter at the sight leads to him pouting at me, something only just visible over the coffee table.

He was barely able to hold his expression before Peter started laughing with me. “I think this is the end for today. I will be going to bed and never rising again. My ego has been shattered irreparably, and I am afraid I can never face you again.” He arose from his awkward position on the floor and began speedwalking to my room.

“At least wait for me before you go hog all of the blankets,” I half-yell, chasing after him. It’s barely another couple of minutes after we get on the bed that we fall asleep, calm in the realization that finals were over and we could sleep for at least 15 hours before doing anything else.

[tpwkjerii]

strawberry kisses

you and felix have a longstanding tradition of baking the day after finals. usually, it’s the best method of relaxing after long hours of studying. unfortunately, you find yourself rather tense this time — after all, it’s always fun to spend an entire day in a cramped kitchen with your crush, isn’t it?

pairing: lee felix x reader

warnings: fluff and kissing, mild angst, reader likes strawberries (sorry if you’re allergic skdlsd), ex boyfriend (but supportive bestie) minho, reader has low self confidence :(, like two curse words, kisses!!

genre: friends to lovers au, kinda idiots to lovers, mutual pining

word count: 2.9k+

a/n: short fic for Felix hehe

Your eyes glazed over as you reviewed the last response of your final exam of the term. After two long hours of plugging equations you hardly understood into your nearly-dead calculator and speed-writing to the point where you’re sure you’ve bruised your dominant hand, you finally finished. At lightning speed, you gathered your exam papers and submitted them at the front with a quick prayer to the universe.

A few other students followed your rushed pace out of the large lecture hall, all of you eager to finally get out of the stuffy room.

As you stepped out of the packed hall and into the cooling outdoors, you checked your phone, which was filled with texts from the one person you were trying desperately to get out of your head (and miserably failing at that).

felix (strawberry head) <3

5:23 PM

did you finish your chem final ???

hyunjin and i just submitted our video for our dance performance

your editing was very good btw :D

5:35 PM

y/nnnnn you’re taking forever :(

we’re waiting at the quad for you !!

5:40 PM

*i am waiting at the quad for you

the others got too hungry and left, but i’m waiting for you!

pls hurry it’s cold :[

You bit back a laugh at his texts, his heartwarming tone filling you with a familiar fuzzy feeling. You pushed the feeling aside as you texted a reply.

y/n

5:43 PM

be there in 2 :D

You stifled a smile as you rushed towards the quad. Soon enough, you saw Felix and his bright, red-dyed hair (you first noted that it closely resembled a strawberry). The moment your eyes met his, you felt your heart skip a beat and heat spread across your face. This was the common reaction you’ve had for the past few months whenever you see Felix.

He rushed over to you with a giddy smile and his arms outstretched. Quickly, he barrelled into you and pulled you into a tight embrace.

“You took so long,” he whined, his chest vibrating as he spoke.

“I know, I know. ‘M sorry,” you responded, your voice slightly muffled by his shirt. You took a second to enjoy his hold and the comforting warmth that Felix always provided you whenever he was near. Over the past few years, you’ve grown accustomed to the scent of his sweet floral perfume, the feeling of his tight hugs, and the way he played with your fingers when he was bored.

All the things you were fond of were now extreme nuisances in your life. Not because they were annoying or because you disliked Felix, but rather the complete opposite; you were completely, helplessly, and foolishly in love with him.

“You ready to go?” Felix asked suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts. He brought his arms down from around you, and you looked down at the ground as you nodded, hoping that he didn’t see the intense blush that was spreading from your face to your neck.

You are so fucked for tomorrow.

After an entire night of tossing and turning in anxiety, the next day finally arrived. To say you were nervous was a massive understatement.

The minute you woke up, you began to anxiously clean your apartment while your roommate Ryujin laughed at you. As you wiped down every visible crevice, she made sure to pester you about a “missed spot” or tempt you with sweets.

“You’ve never cleaned this much whenever Felix came over before,” she pointed out with a laugh while you wiped down the kitchen counters for the fourth time.

“What do you mean?” you asked, your voice uncharacteristically high-pitched.

Ryujin scoffed. “It is so obvious that you like Felix, there’s no point in lying to me,” she stated bluntly.

Your hand froze mid-wipe on the counter. You looked over at your blue-haired roommate nervously. “Is it really… that obvious?”

“Yes,” she deadpanned.

You winced and dropped your head onto the smooth stone countertop. “Do you think he’s noticed?” you moaned into your arms.

“If he hasn’t, I will personally pay for his glasses prescription.”

You whined again as you lifted your head up to look directly at Ryujin. “If he’s noticed then why hasn’t he said anything?”

She stood up as she answered, “Not sure but you could always ask him today.”

Your mouth dropped in horror at the suggestion. “I can’t tell him how I feel! That would completely ruin our friendship!”

“So you’d rather continue tip-toeing around him and never get a clear answer?” she questioned, her arms crossed.

“Yes.”

Ryujin sighed and started to collect her things. “You can do whatever you want,” she started as she placed her papers in her backpack, “but I recommend you tell him soon.” She stood up and headed for the door. Just before opening it and leaving you alone with your thoughts until Felix arrived, she turned around and said, “I won’t be home until late, have fun.” With that, she winked and walked out of your shared apartment.

You scoffed at her suggestive tone and stood upright to check the time.

10:08 AM

You gasped. Felix said he was going to arrive at 10:30, but knowing him he would be at least 15 minutes early, meaning you only had 7 minutes to get yourself together!

You cursed and rushed to your bedroom. Switching out of your wrinkled pajamas, you opted for a random hoodie you grabbed out of your closet and jeans. After you changed, you made a beeline for the bathroom and fixed your appearance. You quickly brushed through your hair and washed your face, hoping you removed all remnants of your restless sleep.

Just as you predicted, you heard four distinctive knocks on your front door right at 10:15.

“Coming!” you exclaimed as you rushed out of your bathroom.

Right before you opened the front door, you placed a hand on your beating heart and mumbled words of encouragement to yourself. Then, after deciding that you were probably taking too long, you pulled the door open.

Immediately, Felix, covered in a large hoodie and arms filled with large bags of baking ingredients, greeted you with a large grin. Like every other time, you felt your heart skip a beat when you made eye contact with him.

“Hi,” you said simply, a smile on your face.

“Hi,” he responded. He looked you up and down, asking, “Are you wearing my hoodie?” 

You paled and looked down at the large pink hoodie, immediately recognizing it as the one that Felix lent you almost one year ago when he dropped you off at the airport since you forgot yours in the car. Once you got back from your trip, you’d forgotten to give it back to him.

“O-oh,” you stuttered, looking down at the oversized sleeves. “I didn’t even realize,” you continued awkwardly. “You can ha -”

“It’s fine,” he cut you off, the smile never leaving his face. He shrugged. “You look better in it anyways.”

Your mouth dropped and you found yourself unable to respond for a few moments. Felix laughed at your dumbfoundedness and gently pushed you aside to walk into the apartment. Once he set the bags down on the kitchen counters, you returned to your senses and closed the door to walk over to him.

“So, what are we making today?” you asked, trying to keep your voice as level as possible. It wasn’t an easy task to do, considering his proximity to you.

You held your breath as he grabbed your hands and looked into your eyes. “What’s your favorite fruit?” he asked excitedly.

“Er, strawberries?” you answered, tilting your head to the side in mild confusion.

At that, Felix let go of your hands and quickly pulled out a carton of fresh strawberries from one of the bags. You gasped in delight at the sight of the bright fruit and immediately thanked him.

“It’s no big deal,” he responded while sliding the fruits into the fridge. “I’m gonna eat most of the tarts and choco strawberries anyways,” he added with a sneaky laugh.

You scoffed. “You always say that but you always end up giving me the most.” You smirked at him while taking out the baking materials.

“I don’t give it to you,” he countered. “You steal them.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you told him with a sing-song tone. He laughed from your side, and you swore that you heard actual sparkles, as if he were a fairy, when he did.

You cleared your throat, hoping to rid your mind of distracting thoughts that could be potential problems during the next seven hours that Felix would be at your apartment. “So, master chef Felix,” you started, lowering your voice like a TV show announcer. “What are you going to do first?”

“Well, my fair announcer,” he began, holding up the silicon whisk like a microphone. “I think we should start with preparing the shortbread dough, what about you?”

“Ah, you are the chef. Lead the way,” you responded with a wide smile.

You both laughed together and actually began the baking. Like usual, Felix did most of the work while you played music and assisted from the side. You worked together seamlessly, and soon enough the shortbread cookies were done and strawberry jam cooling to the side.

While you taste-tested the jam, Felix began to whisk the melted chocolate, and you took this time to admire him. You stood at his side, allowing you to admire his side profile.

Felix was easily one of the most beautiful individuals you ever laid your eyes on. But his appearance wasn’t the only part you fell for — he was one of the few people whose inside beauty matched their outside beauty.

Felix was kind, funny, optimistic, and just about every positive adjective you could find in a dictionary. After every failed test, he was there with a cup of strawberry ice cream and a shoulder to cry on. When you landed your first job, he was there to celebrate with you even when your own family wasn’t. And when you and Minho mutually broke up, he was there to give you advice as you coped with the end of your first relationship.

How could you not fall for him?

And sometimes you had the feeling that he liked you back. The touches that would linger for just a few seconds too long, the soft smiles that Chan claimed he only ever gave to you, and his late-night texts all spurned a tiny hopeful fire in you that kept your crush alive.

No matter how many times you tried to get over him and convince yourself that your crush didn’t exist, the tiny voice in your head still spoke. “But what if he likes you back?”

Now, as Felix stood by your side with a soft smile on his face while he whisked the chocolate, that voice screamed louder than ever.

And just as you gained a sliver of courage, the same paralyzing thoughts that have held you back for the past few months returned.

Felix was out of your league in every way. He was social and easily commanded the attention of an entire room with so much as two words. His outward beauty matched his insides, and everyone on campus reached a collective agreement that if angels ever existed and walked among us — Lee Felix was certainly one of them.

And those things were only the tip of the iceberg that is Felix. He was talented, sensitive, supportive, passionate, and everything you could ever ask for and then some.

You then thought back to all the people he rejected - kindly, of course - and how you matched up to them. If Felix didn’t choose to go out with all those beautiful and talented people, what on Earth made you think you would choose you?

At this point, Felix picked up on your sudden silence and how your breaths grew heavy and uneven.

“Are you… alright?” he asked carefully, his own chest beating heavily.

You stared at him, panicked that he caught onto your apprehension. “Um…” you started, trailing off as you met his gaze.

Felix let go of the whisk and grabbed your hands. “You can say whatever you need to.”

“I uh,” you started after a few moments, internally battling yourself to gain courage as you realized that it’s now or never. “I kinda like you,” you admitted quietly, looking down at your intertwined hands anxiously. You waited for him to pull his hand away in disgust and start to kindly reject you like he did to all those other people, but it never came. After a few seconds, his hands still the entire time, you looked up at him with glassy eyes in confusion.

“What?” he finally said, his deep voice softer than ever.

You looked back down at your hands shamefully. “Do I really have to repeat it?” you asked weakly. “I like you, Felix. I have for the past few months and it’s been driving me insane because it feels like my heart’s about to stop dead whenever I see you and I can never think straight when you’re with me. Apparently, it’s been pretty obvious and I really tried my best to get over it so it wouldn’t hurt our friendship.

“Trust me, I really wanted to get over it but I couldn’t, and I know you don’t like me back so it’s ok. I can deal with it on my own and you can just leave a -”

“Y/N,” Felix said suddenly, his voice firm. You looked up, tears rolling down your face as you were sure that he was about to reject you.

“Felix please don’t interrupt me. At least let me finish what I have to say,” you pleaded softly, removing your hands from his.

“Y/N,” he repeated, his voice much gentler. He carefully wiped the tears from your face and took your hands into his again. “Can I say something before you finish?” he requested.

You choked back a sob as you nodded, certain that he was just going to let you down kindly.

“I like you too, Y/N,” he said shyly, a blush spreading across his freckled face.

Your entire body froze.

“I was too scared to admit it because I didn’t think you liked me back,” he continued, the words slowly registering in your mind. “To be honest, I thought you still liked Minho.”

You blushed at his words, thinking back to all the times you would pull Minho, your ex-boyfriend, to the side to talk about Felix these past few months. You didn’t realize how it must have looked to Felix or your other friends.

“I was also… afraid of ruining our friendship, so I’ve just kept it to myself the past two years.”

You gaped at him. “Two years?” you sputtered, causing him to laugh at the way your eyes widened comically. “That’s when we first started uni!”

He shrugged. “What can I say? I was instantly attracted to the way you fought Chan on why you should be allowed to keep the minifridge in your dorm,” he joked.

You blushed at the embarrassing memory, although it wasn’t completely regrettable as it was how you met most of your current friends — including Felix.

“I’m surprised,” you voiced simply. “I didn’t think you would ever like me back.” You breathed out, your muscles relaxing instantly.

Felix grinned again and he moved slowly to envelop you in his arms. He rested his hands on the small of your back and his head on the crook of your shoulder.

“Does this mean that I can take you out on a date?” he whispered.

“Will you promise to stop taking unflattering pictures of me and sending them to me in the middle of the night?” you asked, your head resting against his and arms around him.

He sighed. “Fine,” he answered reluctantly with a whine.

“Then sure,” you responded and pulled your head back to meet his eyes. His eyes shined from the sunlight pouring through the windows and his freckles glimmered like stars across a canvas. Felix was truly beautiful inside and out.

“You have some strawberry jam on your lip,” he said after a few silent moments where you both admired each other.

“Really?” you asked. Your hand moved from his back towards your face, but Felix caught your hand in midair and returned it to its original position.

“I’ll get it,” he murmured with a gentle smile before closing the distance between your lips.

You held your breath as he pressed his soft lips against yours. You instantly recognized the strawberry chapstick he uses and the taste of the shortbread cookies. He swiped his tongue against the corner of your lip, and the sudden sensation caused a shiver to run down your spine.

You brought your hand up to his hair and gently tugged at his dyed locks. Felix brought you closer to him and massaged your back as he deepened the kiss.

When you finally pulled away, your face was burning red and you were completely breathless. Felix was smiling giddily, his arms still around yours.

“I think there’s still some jam left,” he told you, not even giving you a second to respond before he pressed his lips against yours once again. This kiss was much more playful than the last as you giggled against each other in the kiss.

“Did you get it all?” you asked him, your voice reduced to a murmur as he continued kissing your lips.

He hummed, kissing you once and twice in between, before responding, “I don’t think so.”

You laughed against his lips. “Well, I guess you better get it all. I can’t have strawberries stuck on my lips all day.”

He laughed with you, and true to his words, he eventually did get all the strawberry jam off (an extra two hours and an uncountable amount of kisses later).

[honeyxchoso]

Promise (fuckboy!Satoru Gojo x reader) (college AU)

warnings: Gojo being a fuckboy who knows his effect on women all too well, MC's declining mental health implied

genre: angst? (sfw)

word count: 1.9k

“Please, just hear me out!” Gojo begged, face contorting into a desperate expression you knew all too well by now.

The scene is just like the numerous ones you’ve experienced in the past few months, all consequential to Satoru Gojo asking you out earlier that year. You should have known better. After all, you’ve been a witness of all of his intimate endeavours throughout high school. It was naive to assume that you would be spared of his promiscuous behaviour and that, somehow, this would be different.

“I promise you it won’t happen again!”

The exclamation just fell on deaf ears. That very promise, which he never fails to make in moments like these, has lost all meaning long ago. The sincerity fading more and more each time it was broken. These conversations, which once used to reduce you to tears, have now lost all meaning they once might have possessed.

All you know is the emptiness you feel resulting from your heart being shattered over and over again, your soul reduced to nothingness. You can no longer cry. You can no longer get mad. You are no longer surprised. Just a shell of the person you once were.

No longer are you even aware of your surroundings, lost in your own mind as Gojo spouted endless dubious apologies and false promises, all of which you’ve heard dozens of times before. How many times have you turned a blind eye so far? How many second chances have you given? How much longer will this go on? You do not know.

How did it come to this?

You and Satoru are first years in an honours programme at Jujutsu college, with you majoring in Biology and him in Physical engineering. Although you had known him since your first year of high school, you two have only gotten close in the summer leading up to your first year at college. During that summer, he’s managed to get closer to you than anyone ever has before. It really isn’t that difficult to imagine considering his flamboyant personality and stunning appearance.

Right now, you were at a cafe, waiting for Mr Perfect to show up for your weekly Math and Chem study session. You chuckle looking at a meme he just texted you. The lovely bastard is fashionably late per usual, but you are somehow never annoyed at that nasty habit of his. Five minutes of texting later, you feel a tap on your shoulder alerting you of Satoru’s arrival. Soon after the tap, you can feel his presence on the left side of your head.

“I think you can kiss heaven goodbye, as it must be a sin to look that good,” he proudly stated right next to you. You gazed to the side with widened eyes and your mouth slightly agape. It was just quick enough for you to catch a glimpse of those gorgeous sky blue eyes of his, mischievously peeking up at you from the pitch-black sunglasses the man always adorned. It truly was a sight to behold. To your great misfortune, however, it was gone as soon as it came, with him rising up to ruffle your hair a bit with his enormous hand before going to sit at the other end of your small table.

You focused on regaining your usual composure, as you’ve grown accustomed to his flirty persona during the summer while observing him picking up girls wherever you went. His sense of humour is just atrocious, but it eventually grew on you also. Despite his provocative behaviour and dirty humour implying he’s still very much immature for anything of the sort, you’ve started harbouring hope that one day, just maybe, he’ll give it a shot for you. Yes, as naive as it was, you couldn’t help but fall for the marvellous man sitting across from you.

You sighed at your inner turmoil and slightly irritably ran a hand through your hair. Satoru, of course, interpreted your reaction as you being annoyed at his borderline foul compliment and the thought elicited a deep, alluring chuckle from him. Slightly shaken from the beautiful sound, you plastered on a smile and looked at him, asking to begin your study session already since he was late again.

Two hours of studying later, you two were walking back to the student dorms on the other end of the campus site making small talk on your way.

“Argh! I hate this unit so much. Why do we have to memorise all the functional groups when it would be so much easier to just look them up in the data booklet during exams? It is so unnecessary!” you cried out, pouting while clenching your fists in exasperation. When Satoru didn’t respond, you relaxed your posture and turned to address him, only to blank out upon seeing the way he was staring at you.

He had a tender look on his face the likes of which you’ve never seen before. His lips formed into a small but genuine smile with his eyes relaxed as he just looked at you. You felt as though he was staring right into your soul. At this point, you both stopped walking instinctively and held your eyes locked wishing for the tender moment to last forever. Satoru was the first to speak up.

He called your name, not breaking eye contact. You just barely took notice of his voice, getting lost in his gorgeous blue eyes during your little moment just now. God, does your name sound good coming from his mouth. You barely had the common sense at this point to utter out a small “Hm?” and no notion whatsoever of what was yet to come.

“Would you like to go out with me sometime?”

You were baffled. The person you’ve been crushing on for months now just asked you out. You. Little old insignificant you. Too startled to form a coherent response, you replied with the only concern you had. “Me?”

After all, you were a nobody. You’ve seen the women who talk to him on a daily basis. The perfect height, athletic, well-adorned in all sorts of jewellery and fancy clothes, makeup perfectly done and never a single strand of hair out of place - those were the type of women surrounding Satoru Gojo. Compared to them, you were the lowest of the low. Your face contorted into one of confusion before your eyes started tearing up. This must be a joke...

That was only in the few seconds leading up to Satoru bursting out in a tear-inducing laugh. This did well to break you out of your small trance, sobering up a little before becoming even more confused. He asked you out, and now he’s laughing about it? Is this man in his right senses? You don’t recall him having any alcoholic beverages at the cafe so it can’t be. He stopped laughing soon after and used the tip of his right-hand sleeve to wipe away his tears.

“Of course it’s you, silly! It’s 10pm. We’re the only ones here right now!” he exclaimed, giggling a bit throughout forming his sentence still. This only served to confuse you even more. It must be a joke, then.

“You’re joking,” you voiced your thoughts. At this, his formerly happy expression fell and formed into one of concern.

“How could I be?” he asked. Seeming genuinely concerned as to why you’d think that. His eyebrows furrowed and his lips formed an unusual frown. “How could I ever joke about something like that? You have no clue what you mean to me, Y/N.” You could tell from his expression that he was being sincere, making you falter. Your face seemed to be enough of a response for him to continue speaking.

“You are honestly the best person I have ever met. You are strong and independent despite everything life has thrown at you. You are smarter than anyone I know. You have an amazing sense of humour and are a great listener. You’ve always been there for me when I needed you most. Along with being a good person, you also make me a better person myself. You fulfil me. Without you, I feel my very existence would be meaningless.” All the while saying this, he hasn’t broken eye contact once. “So I will ask you once again, Y/N, will you go out with me?

Following that evening, the two of you were in a happy relationship.

So how did it turn into this?

You first noticed something was wrong when you saw him dancing really close with a girl at a college party. He had his left hand low on her waist and his other hand entangled in her hair, bringing her closer so he could lean into her neck. It was just an embrace, right? Perhaps she was his friend who needed comfort of some sort? These are the excuses you made for yourself at the time to console the slight pang of concern and betrayal felt upon witnessing that scene. You never confronted him about that. At the time, you told yourself that was because there was no issue to address but reflecting on that moment now, you know it was the fear of your suspicion being proven right that discouraged you from bringing it up.

This happened about an additional five or six times before you started acting a bit more adverse to Satoru’s usual affection. You would no longer initiate kisses and would become stiff in his embrace. It was mortifying to know he was behaving so naturally around you when you know he’s off with other women when he thinks you aren’t looking. Despite this, the relationship was maintained as your love for him didn’t falter.

After a while, his endeavours would cause arguments. He would argue the women were coming onto him, that he was drunk or anything of the sort, just to get out of the situation, and you would argue he was fully aware of his promiscuous behaviour. These arguments would always end in forgiveness and the movie would rewind yet again. That is what led you where you are now. Your forgiving nature backfired and your feelings for the man were constantly extorted.

Sometimes, enough is enough.

It is time to put a stop to this neverending loop your relationship has turned into.

“Stop,” Satoru was still pleading for forgiveness when you interrupted him mid-sentence. Your simple exclamation seemingly pausing time, as it was the first word you have uttered in this conversation so far. Gojo looked at you anxiously, hope evident in his eyes that you would forgive him. Oh, how you loved those eyes of his, full of deceit.

“I’ve had enough. I’ve given you far too many chances and have been disappointed every time without fail. It is time for both of us to admit to ourselves that this won’t work. Not the way it is now.”

Despite your calm exterior, your previously empty inside now felt a sharp, anxious pain. No one said it was going to be easy. While the fear of change is strong, you know this is the right thing to do. Fear can bring no actual harm, but this relationship has and will continue to do so if you don’t put a stop to it. It is time.

“Goodbye, Satoru Gojo.”

[thoughts-of-ongoing-life-crisis]

I’m gonna end up with a B in chem. I’m so upset 😭

I legit had a panic attack this morning because we had an exam (didn’t go great which is bullshit because I thought I nailed it) and the lab for Tuesday is going to be a stressful shit show. There will be tears. We simply cannot do all of the stuff they want in a three hour window if things don’t go perfectly. We have to use lab quest which so far has never worked and I hate technology. The TA had to give us data from the key because even she gave up after an hour. We don’t have time for technology to malfunction because I really need this to go well and we have too much to cram into a three hour window. We are essentially doing three separate labs. We have done them before in a three hour window, but now we have to do them in a 1 hour window back to back and somehow still have time for calculations and a lab report.

[darkmulti]

passed my chemistry exam. the thing is: i kinda studied with this boy for it. now hear me out: jungkook being proud of me for passing but THEN finding out i studied with this boy and absolutely RAILING me into the next year and tell me im a dumb slut (but HIS good dumb slut yk??)i love me some posessiveness) gosh i need to stop being this horny, this is what 0 dick makes you think about while only focusing on your studies? -🕊

-> congratulations on passing your chemistry exam!! Chem is a pain in the ass. Fucking hate it so much!

-> sorry for any mistakes

⚠️: jealous/possessive sex?

This was the moment you’ve been waiting for

Staring at your laptop screen

Refreshing it over and over with your boyfriend by your side

Your heart was beating so fast

You clicked the refresh bottom once more

“I PASSED!” You yelled, jumping up

Your boyfriend smiled at your cuteness and pulled you in for a hug

“Good job, princess. You’ve been studying so hard. I’m so proud of you, gorgeous.”

He pulled you in for a long kiss which was interrupted by your ringtone

You answered it and yelled, “DID YOU PASS?”

“I PASSED!” He responded

You both started talking about the exam and what not as Jungkook stood there in confusion

Who were you talking to?

“Taehyung thank you for studying with me! You literally helped me in everything! If you didn’t help me, I would’ve probably failed.”

You said with a bright smile on your face

Jungkook’s eyebrows crashed

He was connecting the dots

You said you were going to the library to study alone since the library is a quiet space

You never told him that you’ve been “studying” with this Taehyung guy

He was in deep thought until you hugged him

“What’s wrong? Why are you just standing there with that look on your face?”

“Who’s Taehyung?”

“He’s my chem partner.”

“You’ve never told me about him. You always say that you’re going to study alone.”

“Well he was in the library while I was studying and asked if he can join. I don’t see the problem Jungkook. He helped me a lot.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that but I would like to know when my girlfriend is spending time with another man.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed

“That’s-”

Jungkook pushed you on the bed and hovered over you

“Don’t show me attitude, princess. I’ll fuck it right out of you.”

He pulled down your pants along with your underwear and flipped you over

He spanked your butt while his other hand took himself out

“Looks like I need to remind you about who you belong to. It seems like you’ve forgotten.”

He spat on his cock and pushed in you, making you moan louder than usual

It had been a while since you two last done it because you were too busy studying

He pulled your hair and wasted no time in slamming in and out of you

His balls clapped against your slit, turning both of you on even more

Jungkook spanked your ass then said, “who the fuck do you belong to, huh?!”

You hold onto the bedsheets for dear life and move your hips with his

He spanked you again and pulled your hair so he can see your face

“I asked you something, now answer it before I get angry. And remember what happened last time you made me angry? I made your little pussy squirt around cock. You were shaking because of it. My cum filled you up to the brim. I’ve owned your body since that day. Remember that.” He bit your ear and fucked you harder

“This pussy is mine! This ass is mine! This body is mine!”

He sucked on your jawline and neck, placing hickeys everywhere

“I won’t let you see Taehyung unless you have my marks all over you. I want it on every inch of your body. Every time he looks at you, he’ll know that you’re my little slut... Mmh? What are you?”

“You’re little slut, daddy.”

“Good girl.”