#I have a bad habit of feeling guilty for things and then avoiding it like it's pain

[a-fangirltrash]

"Ford treated Fiddleford so bad!!" As if him treating Fidds like shit wasn't directly a product of being constantly gaslighted and abused by Bill.

I'm genuinely getting tired of people flaming Ford, but in a serious tone. Like people are acting like he's a toxic selfish man that used to put Fidd down... and... no he never did???

Ford ADMIRED Fiddleford, he TRUSTED his friend for what he described as "the project of his life" and Ford, being the most prideful man in the world, decided to ask for help because he knew how CAPABLE Fiddleford was.

When Fiddleford arrived Ford let him know how thankful he was that he was there with him, the man even took a bath and made sure to make him feel like he was at home. Ford even remembered his favorite bean brand?

When Fidd got traumatized by the gremoblin, Ford TRIED to help with what he knew. He tried to help him meditate, took days off for him, decided that they could go out and have some good time. Be mindful that this might've been the total OPPOSITE of what Bill wanted, and he still did for his friend sanity. Bill would make Ford work like CRAZY.

Also, for him it wasn't "putting him in danger!!" For him it was sharing adventures with his friend! Just like hi did with *cofcofSTANLEYcofcof*. That's love language all around.

Fiddleford could abandon the project anytime, but he didn't because he liked being there. And Ford is NOT the guilty one for Fidds creatinf the gun :/ it's nor his fault that fidd interpreted "using his creativity" in that way. Ford NEVER approved that gun.

Also, Ford noticed that RUBIK THING, HE APPREACITE HIM SO MUCH HE KNEW HIS HABITS. AND GOT CONCERNED RIGHT AHEAD.

"B-but he free Frilliam!" The portal was close, did you all READ how much gaslighted Ford was at that point? He didn't free it because "ugh i don't care about this shitty axolotl" but because Bill started to freak out and yell at him to get rid of it. Ford wrote "A friend" with a heart in the title??? Wdym he didn't appreciate it aaaagh

If Stanley took the diaries (i don't like this universe because...stanley:() he WOULD have looked for Fiddleford, they'd have made the Institute of Oddology, he'd have shared his success... with the man that helped him the most.

TBOB SPOILERS AHEAD

He got sad when Fiddleford told him he was gonna get back home to spent time with his family, he PLANNED holidays with him. Even if he DIDN'T like holidays.

He took a day off just to make him happy after his atrocious christmas party, he USED RESOURCES that as you know ford is the most practical mam in the world JUST to decorate the portal as a tree and make Fiddleford happy.

And that atuff of "h-he doesn't appreaciated Fiddleford gifts!" IS SO DUMB OMG, he wore the gloves in the snow and was incredibly thankful about them. When BILL that dumbass triangle pretty much LACERATED his hands, he used Fiddleford gloves as a way to hide those scars, and in a sense, probably to comfort himself because he was ALONE.

I think that was the reason of Fiddleford fast forgiveness, not only because he's a sweet heart, but because after fighting with Bill i think he noticed how BIG was the monster torturing his "partner".

And after all of this i'm not trying to excuse Ford treating him poorly and not listening to him in time

BUT FORD IS NOT A PERFECT VICTIM

Even if i believe he wasn't "the" (at least only) reason of Fiddleford becoming crazy, i know it could have been better for him and he could have avoided so much trauma. But can we please stop seeing Ford as a selfish, evil mad scientist and start seing him as a victim... of a terribly abusive relationship that checks in for all types of domestic abuse... please!!! Ford is not a perfect VICTIM Can we blame Bill!!!

All this rant is because there's certain ship... which i kinda like, but i just HATE HATE HATE the interpretation and how much they put Ford as a villian on it omg

Edit: fixed the use of word narcissism, since it might've been ableist! Replaced with words that actually relate to what i intended to say, instead of referencing a personality disorder

[foreignobjecticus]

Having lots of hobbies is great! No matter how much you achieve in a day, you will always also have the Guilt of 'I should be doing Other Hobby' gnawing at your insides. :)

[guqin-and-flute]

For the ask game, 11 and 17 please!

KITTY!!!! This looks like one of my cats omg

11. Would you like to try any new fanfic genres or tropes this year?

Oh, yes!! I really really want to try horror! I'm not quite sure why, I think it's because I've never been able to partake in it in the past because of my anxiety disorder, but now that I'm doing better with that, I'm able to handle more than I used to. And I like trying to evoke emotional responses with the things I write, so unease/fear is just another one I don't think I've delved into! I don't know how successful I'll be at it, but it will be fun to try

And tropes--I probably should pick a couple to try out, just to keep things fresh! 🤔

17. Do you typically answer all comments/reviews individually? Do you plan to change the way you interact with your readers this year?

I absoLUTELY read and appreciate every single comment, ask, and tag that people put--sometimes even in the bookmark sections on Ao3, I'm there like 👁👁. Sometimes, when I'm having a bad brain day, I'll just go back and read through them and feel happy.

I got behind on responding a while ago and then did that thing where I felt overwhelmed and then really guilty that it's taken me this long to respond, so I just...didn't. Which is not very helpful.

I'm hoping to catch up on the past comments, but also get rid of that 'all-or-nothing' mentality which says since I haven't answered the ones in the past, that means I shouldn't reply to the more recent ones yet.

[varyajc]

UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS(?) THE HASHIRA HAVE

Pillars x GN!Reader

a/n; Friendly reminder that this is how I view them. None of the things below are canon or hating on their character. I’d also like to add; I don’t know what to make the title, so I’m making it unhealthy behaviors. Some may be healthy, some may not, so ignore the title and enjoy these headcanons (?)

warnings; unintentional gaslight / intentional gaslighting, toxic behaviors / habits, angst(ish), toxic relationships(?)

bold words = unhealthy behaviors

GIYU TOMIOKA

~He has extreme depression episodes to the point he doesn’t want to see you, in order to prevent you from getting hurt.

Tomioka loves you, he really does. However, in order to prevent him from hurting your feelings (or hurting you in general) he distances himself whenever things get slightly bad. He thinks he’s a disease and doesn’t want to affect you in away way, so he does it in the worst way possible; not talking with you.

~He ghosts you unintentionally

This is similar to the first one, however, he does it whenever he’s feeling better, but still feels guilty for not interacting with you. He doesn’t speak with you, avoids you like the plague, sometimes doesn’t attend Hashira meetings in order to avoid you. After a few months, he goes back to you like nothing had happened. This ended up the relationship forming between the two of you to die out.

SHINOBU KOCHO

~She’s really rude to you for no “apparent” reason.

When the two of you started your relationship, you knew she masks her hostility with a soft smile. She didn’t feel the need to mask her true self around you. However, she can be rude to you for no reason or that something is bothering her. Sure, she’s a mature person, but even mature people can be petty. She doesn’t tell you what’s wrong and even sometimes blames it on you.

~She doesn’t take your concerns seriously.

This applies to her consuming poison. You worry for her health, obviously voicing your concerns. However, she brushes it off like it’s nothing. You guys had numerous arguments because of this subject.

KYOJURO RENGOKU

~He’s too pushy

Whenever you need comfort, he tends to give advice that would more likely help his situation rather than your own. He doesn’t understand why you won’t take it, he tends to get upset because you don’t ’trust him.’

~Too positive

He always tries to find the bright-side of the situation. For example: whenever somebody you’re close with passes or gets severely injured, he always tries to find positive energy of the situation. Which, understandably, makes you upset. He doesn’t mean it, yet he can’t help it in a way?

TENGEN UZUI

~He gets upset when things don’t go his way

Now, I’m not saying this man is a child, but I do sometimes see him getting upset over things that aren’t important. Like, choosing where the five of you get to eat, who’s choosing the dress, etc. He just finds it somewhat degrading..in a way. Like, he’s the man, of course he should have the final say in everything. (Sarcasm)

~His mood determines everybody’s moods

Whenever he’s angry, everybody else’s mood is suddenly down. The air is extremely palpable.

MITSURI KANROJI

~Overthinks, a lot. This sweet angel, known as Mitsuri, tends to overthink a lot. She knows you’ll never cheat on her or betray her in anyway, but she still can’t help that you have eyes for somebody else or wants to pursue someone else. You have reassured her many times that your eyes are on her and her only, but she still has doubts and it just won’t go away. She wants it to go away, but it simply can’t. These doubts in her mind made her somewhat self-conscious.

~Unintentionally guilt-trips you.

Mitsuri tends not to watch her wording or how it’s phrased, so she’ll often say things like, “I’m sorry, I’m such a screw-up, I ruin everything.” However, I don’t think she’ll word it like that, but it’s something along those lines. She doesn’t mean too, but it just slips out, like word vomit.

OBANAI IGURO

~Is extremely controlling, jealous, and manipulative + it’s all intentional

This man right here, knows you better than anybody else, he KNOWS how to get into your head and make you rethink everything. “You’re crazy, I never said that!” Or something along those lines. He always twists things into thinking you did something wrong instead of him.

~He twists your words often

Despite Obanai’s tough demeanor, he actually takes everything bad you say about him to heart. He often uses it against you or make it sound worse than it already is.

SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA

~Extremely possessive

Unlike Obanai, this man knows you can’t and won’t find somebody better than him. However, he still likes to claim his territory? I guess you can say. Whenever you’re out and about with friends, he’s calling you like something happened, and when you rush over to his side, he always repeats “Oh, I just wanted to spend some time with you, baby.”

~He can’t open up

Sanemi is NEVER willing to open up to you, no matter how much you try to persuade him. He pushes you away, and, sometimes, yells at you for trying to persuade him. He doesn’t mean it, I think, however, he finds it offensive that he needs to open up.

a/n; UGH. I didn’t do Muichiro + Gyomei because this an an 18+ reader and I dunno how to write for Gyomei..so. Yh! Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

@varya-jc — DO NOT TRANSLATE, REPOST, OR CLAIM MY CONTENT AS YOUR OWN! YOU WILL GET BLOCKED AND REPORTED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[vernons-girl]

never stopped loving you | lee dino

angsty but sweet,wc:0.9k

A few months back you broke up with your boyfriend Dino.

And you might ask, why would you break up with such a nice boyfriend ?

Well, you were not feeling good. You did not feel like yourself anymore, and nothing felt right, nor fully real. So you decided you needed to spend some time alone to focus on yourself and only yourself because you did not want to hurt anyone’s feeling or make them feel bad about the way you were feeling yourself. So you broke up with your boyfriend. Because he was affected by your state, and you noticed it.

Sometimes you would have mood swings and push him away, he wanted to help you though, he really did, but you knew he could not. He was not the problem but you did not want your relationship with him to become a part of it, so you put an end to it.

The thing is, during that phase you were angry, sad and in pain, but mostly angry. So that resulted in you breaking up with him in a fit of rage without giving him any real motive for your actions, he knew you were not feeling good, so he did not ask more questions and left.

But now, a few months later you felt better, but also guilty. Guilty about the way you treated him at the end of your relationship and guilty about how you broke up with him. So one evening you decided to text him and asked if he wanted to grab breakfast with you, and very much to your surprise, he immediately agreed.

So here you were, waiting for him at your non-officially designated table in your favorite signature café. You were anxiously chewing on your bottom lip, scrapping of the lip balm you had put on earlier in the morning, playing with your fingers you did not see him coming by your table.

“You will never get rid of that habit, won’t you ?” a voice said, you looked up to be met with him, Dino.

He had not changed much, his hair was slightly longer and his efforts to the gym had obviously paid off but he was still the same, he was still your Dino.

"Hello ? Earth to Y/N ?” he waved his hand in front of you, getting your attention back even though your mind stuck to the way your name rolled out of his tongue.

“Yeah sorry.. Please sit down !” you said pointing to the empty spot in front of you.

And he did just that, “Have you ordered yet ?” he asked, “Yes I did! I ordered for you, I hope you still like the same things from here though, I should’ve asked I am sorry !” you apologized, feeling your face get hotter.

He chuckled, god you had missed hearing his breathy laugh, “Don’t worry, some habits don’t change” he replied.

The waiter brought you guys your drinks and snacks, breaking the awkward silence that had taken place, “Enjoy your drinks.” he politely said before walking away, leaving you once again with your ex boyfriend.

“So..” he started, “Why did you want us to meet up ?” he asked.

“Well, I feel like I owe you some explanations about the last time we saw each others” you began, receiving a nod from him signaling you to continue.

“So as you know, I was not feeling the best when I ended things between us and I did not make you come here to give any excuse for what I have done, I just want - no I need to explain why I did it. I hated feeling that way but I also hated that you had to put up with it, and I know you dealt with it amazingly and the best you could, but it hurt me to see how my mental state could affect you. I did not feel like my old self, like the Y/N you fell in love with so I pushed you away before you could do the same. I thought that doing this would avoid unnecessary damages even though I was aware it was going to hurt one of us, if not both. But I felt like I had to do it for myself, for you and for us. And I know lots of time passed by but if you still love me, or at least have a tiny bit of faith left for us, I wondered if you could give me - us - another shot.. Because I miss you and I still love you, I’ve never stopped loving you.” you finished, letting out a big breath you did not know you were holding before focusing on the face of the man who was sitting in front of you.

He was smiling, that smile, you missed that too, you missed him.

“I’ve missed you too Y/N, and I’ve never stopped loving you either. I knew you were going through a rough time and I knew it was best for you and for our relationship to give you time and space. And I am glad I did.” he confessed, putting the brightest smile that had ever been on your face.

“Now get up from that sit and come sit next to me.” he said.

He pulled your closer next to him, turned your face towards his, delicately placed your chin between his fingers before lovingly, passionately kissing you, saying all the things words could not express.

[st4rvedbuck]

I think the fandom of Ninjago should talk about Zane's fear of losing his humanity and his fear of any negative emotion in general. And how they contradict each other.

(warning, yap sesh ahead) TLDR: can nindroids get therapy? If so we need 5 therapists for Zane immediately

It's already established that Zane has a fear of being seen as just a machine, nothing but a freezer with fake coded emotions. But I haven't seen anyone talk in depth how he seems to turn off his emotions whenever he's faced with grief or stress, and how he only learnt to not do that far into his life.

He probably picked up that habit from when Dr. Julien turned off his memory switch before "dying" back in season 1. And he realized that if he went so long not feeling bad about the "death" of his creator by simply not remembering it or not having the actual emotion of grief, he wouldn't feel bad either when anything similar happened if he just turned off his emotions like Dr. Julien did to him.

The fact this lasted as long as it did meant nobody picked up on it* and tried to tell him he was wrong. Which only validated that idea because if there was a problem with it, someone would've told him..right?

But how can you say you don't want to lose your sense of humanity as a robot while simultaneously doing something humans can't whenever you're faced with stress? I'd say he'd overthink it, and feel guilty about not being honest with himself. He knows hes being irrational, but hes still terrified of the thought of no one seeing him as a person.

But at the same time, he's never been taught how to face stress by himself. Only for other people. It's not like he just doesn't know that ignoring your feelings is a way to avoid the problem and a bad coping mechanism, he obviously knows that. He probably just doesn't know any other solutions because his situation is so niche.

Because how could anyone not want what he has? In his position, he probably feels as if everyone would kill to be a nindroid. Since nobody tells him otherwise. We even see clips where the others use Zane's robot body as a joke or in one case, use him as a fucking cleaning robot. Can you imagine how dehumanizing it must feel for someone to be forced against their will like a puppet into doing a weeks worth of chores?

Zane probably feels as if his fears are irrational. Like he shouldn't have them because being a nindroid seems to be the only thing that others care about when they see him. He's a logical person for sure, but everyone has irrational thoughts and unless you face the reason you have those thoughts they aren't going to go away and they'll cloud your judgement. Zane, for sure, is not doing that. Because we can see he just simply forces himself to stop having emotions when they happen instead of facing them, which only fixes it temporarily.

So hes afraid of being seen as just a freezer with fake emotions (i have more to say about the "fake emotions" part), and because he doesn't face his feelings about why hes afraid of that he lets himself believe that is how people see him. Which causes him to think that fear is stupid and that he shouldn't have it, which makes him turn off his emotions for a while, and the cycle continues.

He also might believe his emotions arent needed. Like maybe at some point he convinces himself that if everyone else only sees him as a calculator with ice powers, maybe that's what he actually is. So on top of everything, he feels like since hes only a computer, all his emotions are fake. Therefore unnecessary.

Not to mention he most likely feels as if he's weak for letting Vex manipulate him. And emotions = weak, weak = manipulated again, manipulated again = letting everyone down. But thats just a little thought i had to let out.

If i could write I'd probably make a fic about him being confronted by this fear, but until then it'll stay in my brain.

Poor boy. Just look at him. He doesn't deserve this bro AUUGIGUGJGJGGHHGHHHH IM AUTISTIC 🥹

Edit: *i rewatched crystalized today and realized the other ninja ARE aware of Zanes habit. They just dont gaf 😭WHICH MAKES IT WORSE!!!

[xjulixred45x]

Soft Yandere SatuSugu x Darling Reader: Aditional Headcanons

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: neutral/ some hints of Female

Warnings: YANDERE THEMES, Much shorter than the previous one,SOFT YANDERE GETO SUGURU AND SOFT YANDERE GOJO SATORU, UNHEALTY MINDSET, OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR, MANIPULATION, Gojo's god complex (minor), canon Divergent (Geto doesn't get corrupted...complelty), Gojo x Geto x reader, strange amount of DOMESTIC FLUFF.

FIRST PART FOR CONTEXT

IF WE CONTINUE WHERE WE LEFT OFF, Geto and Gojo continue to take you out of the house monthly for nights out. They can even change it to daytime outings and make it a much more domestic family day with Megumi, Tsumiki, Mimiko and Nanako.

going to some amusement park, going for walks around the city, to the dog parks (you and Megumi connect a lot thanks to this)--

SHOPPING! Gojo and Geto become threats in this area, they will buy everything you, the twins and Tsumiki want. In your case you just have to look at something for too long and it's yours. Even if you try to avoid it, it's already yours ;)

(don't notice too much that they feel a little guilty for putting you in that state of depression in the first place but they are too selfish to let you go apart from the fact that you are too adorable and pure to be contaminated by the world ---)

Ejemejem EJEM....Lets continue.

They would also LOVE it if you wanted to try on clothes with them, although of course it will take a lot of effort to keep their hands to themselves.

If someone tries something on these types of outings (whether harassing or flirting with you), rest assured they won't do it again :)

although of course, they won't let you see it, but you know better than to believe it when they say "I'll be right back" that doesn't mean they're going to get water or go to the bathroom...

instead you just try to prevent the children from learning their "bad habits" translation: their possessive and obsessive tendencies, which is a difficult thing to do when 1- literally saved the lives of two of them and 2- literally saved the others for a clan of madmen, they are obviously quite skeptical at first with your warnings.

but because neither Geto nor Gojo make a REAL effort to make it seem that they are WRONG.

Mimiko and Nanako are the least suitable, but at the same time they are the ones who make the most effort to understand you and integrate you. So I don't see it as difficult for them to see through, at least, Satoru's behavior, and since before you used to have very prolonged depressive episodes. So they will be something like your allies and they were your main shoulder to cry on at the time.

Of course, they are not willing to see that Geto is not much better, but rather they are in denial.

Megumi is distant, which makes him the least suited of all of them to see what's wrong with all of this. He's barely with Satoru once he grows up, and yet he holds him in high regard, so the chances of him doing anything to help you are low to zero unless Tsumiki gets involved.

He doesn't hate you at all! You're the closest thing he's had to a stable figure, but he's not willing to risk Tsumiki for you, he's sorry, but that's the way it is.

Speaking of, Tsumiki is kind of like your best and worst option, because she IS the one who stops everyone in this house (except Geto and Gojo) from becoming Yanderes, but she can't do anything for you because she has no curse energy, she's worse than you in that regard. but she will always be there for you when you need a friend and want a tooth and nail ally (although the context is not favorable).

I also wanted to take advantage and delve deeper into Gojo and Geto in a way.

Gojo is much less condescending and more empathetic in this situation thanks to Geto, i had already said that, yes, but to make it clearer, we know that Gojo used to use Geto as his moral compass, distinguishing what is right and what is wrong.

For this reason, Gojo tends to imitate several of Geto's most pleasant behaviors when he realizes that this would be more pleasant for you until it come out in a natural way. I mean, Gojo has a lot of Geto and it is thanks to that that he is more empathetic with your situation, Geto helps him be more empathetic and kind.

While Gojo enhances Geto's positive qualities and removes possible negative qualities or thoughts that may bring them, any insecurity is CRUSHED by Gojo and thanks to this Geto is less paranoid than he could be.

Also thanks to this you are not completely isolated, because Geto fully trust that Gojo and he will protect you.

I don't need to say it, but I will, you are VERY spoiled. They are slowly turning you into a spoiled child (only without infantilization, that would be uncomfortable, they have children for God's sake) in the sense that everything you could want, you get (except maybe going out without any supervision). In general, one of their love languages is that, spoiling you.

That's exactly what they did when you first "moved" with them at first, they we're just so excited to finally having you that they wanted to do all at once, give you love, take care of you, spoil you, they even carried you from one side of State to the other just because they could.

Although at first being pampered is strange and somewhat nice, it quickly makes you feel somewhat useless by not being able to do ANYTHING yourself, add to the isolation (more or less about 2-3 whole years, you don't know, only that they graduated in that time) and you have a severe depressive episode(the one i talk about in the first part).

when you went into a that state, both of them, although they didn't show it, were TERRIFIED that you would try something....extreme, so to speak. So they spent a solid week helping you bathe, change your clothes, feed you, brush your teeth, etc.

Gojo seriously thought about giving you antidepressants, but at the same time he was scared by the possibility that they would fuck up your mind even more. That's when they made the plan and fortunately it worked.

They try to take better care of your mental health after that. Nowadays you can even go out apart from the monthly outings even with just one of them! something like more personal individual dates, for example, if you go to have coffee with Geto, chances are that that same week you will go to dinner with Gojo. Maybe these types of dates happen mainly when one is on a mission and the other stays at home.

They try to intersperse certain things to prevent you from being left alone, but when you do, they are constantly calling you or making calls on Sky. If they have to leave while you're asleep, they'll leave a joint voicemail saying how sorry they are that they can't say goodbye properly but that they'll make it up to you when they get home.

and you don't doubt that they will get home.

(You once tried to leave while they were on a mission together, but Geto's curses followed you everywhere, so nope, Even if they are physically there, you have no possibility to go out completely alone, although they are honestly not bothersome.)

When they get Home, expect the already high level of clingyness to increase and you won't be able to move all afternoon or AT LEAST until dinner time. but at least they tell you about the interesting things they did on the mission, bring you some (many) souvenirs and generally "make up for lost time" away from you.

If you had plans to start a family before, both Geto and Gojo definitely remember it and will want to know if you are still going with it. Of course, they were different circumstances, but surely you would like to start your own family with your husbands, right?

(all strictly consensual obviously, even if all this is quite shady, I REFUSE to believe that they would commit r@p3 against you)

If you don't want to, that's fine! They get it, they're a little disappointed not to see their little versions combined with you, yes, but they already have Megumi, Tsumiki and the twins, they can live with that.

If you don't want children but feel a little lonely, they can get you a pet! a cat or a dog to take care of all three but its main function is to keep you company. It's cute when they both arrive and see you snuggling with said pet (they definitely took photos and added them to the collection of cute moments)

their love for you does not diminish because you do not want children, if necessary it will multiply.

And additionally, if you take this route they would probably be filled with doubts about what would happen if they had accepted (things like possible miscarriages, postpartum depression, the possibility that you would die, etc.) and they feel WAY calmer about it.

If you decide that you are comfortable enough to have a child with each of them(and being an actual family someway)....god it would be chaos, in a good way?

Gojo would already be thinking of names, whether for his child or Geto's, it doesn't matter! He loved them the same, apart from the fact that he bought many MANY things for the children (the child was not even born and is already going to be spoiled).

You practically signed a deal with the devil, during the first months you can't even get out of bed! They practically bring you everything and are close to you 24/7.

Tsumiki gives you a hand to have some time alone at least. Megumi comes by from time to time to guard the house when Gojo and Geto leave, additionally asking you if Gojo is giving you trouble (fortunately not) and even leaving some cute stuffed animals (with protective seals).

Mimiko and Nanako are by far the most excited about this, although rather than asking Geto about the situation, they are more interested in what YOU have to say (obviously, Gojo and Geto too, but it's nice that the girls are so up to pending without being suffocating)

✨Scary Dog Privilge ✨ when everyone goes out for a drink when you start to have a baby bump, it's like a switch from "fucking scary" to "hiii sweetieeeee"

Gojo will shamelessly put his hands on your belly, but at least he'll be very careful when he does it. Geto always asks for permission, although if you say no often he will seem like a kicked dog and eventually you will have to give in.

once you have the baby, expect a LOT more gifts not only from Geto and Gojo but from their companions and members of other clans now that the Strongest have children, at least the twins, Megumi and Tsukimi take care of that while you, Geto and Gojo spend some time alone with the baby (no matter who it is).

(It goes without saying, if you have a baby, there is no WAY IN THE WORLD you can get away from them...although it's not really like you want to if you choose this route.)

I would like to say they don't teach their children their unhealty mindset, but again, they see nothing wrong with what they do bx you are happy(now) so it's your job(and maybe also Megumi's and Tsumiki's) to teach them how to love properly.

At least they won't stop you, they see it as the "old times way" but not neccesary Bad. They will still love their children (even if they're not yanderes or share the same view of love and world in general, they are their kids).

In short, they are not bad life companions at all! If only they could have started the relationship normally and controlled their jealousy, overprotection and paranoia in a healthy way......but they undoubtedly love you.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Hope You like it❤️

[andavs]

do you have any ideas for how you want eddie's arc to play out? this crazy spec is making me nervous too and i need some reassurance lol

Lol you're in luck because my ideal version I've come up with is the super boring one that no one I follow wants to see!

For me, the absolute best case scenario is that he’s seen Kim once or twice since they had dinner but he feels guilty about it and he’s acting cagey because he knows this is objectively weird and bad, so Buck clocks something’s going on.

If Buck and Kim have a scene, then maybe Buck sees them out together and approaches them so Eddie knows he’s caught and he can’t keep avoiding it. They talk about it and Ryan does some amazing face acting.

I have no idea how much Eddie we'll see in this next episode, but Step Nine is about making amends so Eddie comes clean to Kim and she’s obviously like what the actual fuck, but maybe there’s a moment before they part where she says “say to me what you’d say to her” and Eddie does get some kind of closure because Shannon died with so much left unsaid between them.

I would love to see Eddie break the fuck down about it when he's not alone on a beach, in a way we never saw him do with Shannon. He felt like he had to be the strong and stoic husband with her who never showed weakness, but now he's not that person anymore.

Then the next episode would be the Diazes in town for Chris’ eighth grade graduation or something and they’re all excited to meet Marisol but Eddie’s still all messed up and feeling so guilty. I could see his mom or someone really sincerely telling him how much happier he seems to really drive home that he wasn’t happy with Shannon and everyone around him could tell—and he's currently miserable so what the hell did it look like back then?

He does end things with Marisol, either by telling her what happened with Kim or just explaining that he’s still working through Shannon’s death and he’s not being fair to her. I'd try to come up with a scenario where Marisol gets to be angry and lay into him about this, but they haven't developed her character enough for me to really care how she feels about it. She's a lamp in a habit.

And then Eddie's free and available for whatever they're going to do to us in the finale!

I know this is ignoring whatever bombshells Ryan talked about, but if it gets much more twisted and weird than that, I honestly have no idea how they’d fit it into their usual three episode structure without ignoring a massive pile of very concerning mental health issues that exploded very suddenly.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not walking my dog with my neighbor anymore? 

I (20sNB) graduated from my masters program in 2019 and moved back home with my parents. It was meant to be temporary, but before I could save up enough to move out, the pandemic hit. I ended up living with my parents until late 2022. During that time I was responsible for walking our dog. I ended up meeting and connecting with a handful of other dog owners in the neighborhod and we would walk our dogs together and let them play together at a local dog park.  

One of these dog owners, C (70sF) turned out to live right around the corner from me, so we started walking our dogs together very often. Her dog has always been a bit domineering, and my dog has always been a bit submissive. But for a long time they played together very nicely. They would run and chase each other and play with the toys we brought to the park for them. Sometimes they would play fight, but I could always tell from my dog’s body language that she was having fun, and wasn’t actually feeling threatened or scared. 

Of course, C and I also ended up bonding. She’s a retired kindergarten teacher, and she’s very, very nice and kind, and I would consider her a friend. We now exchange baked goods on holidays and she sends me birthday and christmas cards now that I don’t live down the street from her. And since I moved out, whenever I came to my parents’ house to visit, I would call her up so we could walk the dogs together and catch up. 

However, a few months ago, while my mom was walking our dog at the dog park, a different, even worse behaved dog, attacked and bit her. This attack was bad enough to draw blood, and my mom had to take her to the vet and get her on antibiotics and everything to make sure it didn’t get infected. Plus, the dog we had before this one, got sick and almost died because of a bite from an unvaccinated dog, so this was pretty scary for us. But it ended up being okay. No infections and the wounded healed well. But ever since then, our dog, who previously was very social and good with other dogs (we took her to obedience school as a puppy, so she was socialized very early on) has become much more nervous around other dogs, especially new dogs.

We’re trying really hard to resocialize her, and she’s slowly getting better. She still sometimes growls at new dogs, though. Which brings us back to my neighbor and her dog. Her dog is poorly socialized, and growls and barks at other dogs. I know my neighbor tries her best to fix her dog’s behavioral issues and has even worked with specialized dog trainers to no avail. But I’ve noticed that my dog is much more likely to growl at other dogs when we walk with C and her dog, because C’s dog growls. Not only that, but I’ve noticed that when they play together, my dog doesn’t enjoy it anymore. Now, her body language does read as threatened and afraid when C’s dog play fights (C’s dog is a boxer, which means she loves to play fight.) 

So, I’ve started not calling C when I’m in town. I feel guilty about it because I really like C and avoiding her feels like a shitty thing to do. I feel like I'm basically ghosting her. But I know if I reach out to her, she’ll bring up walking the dogs together. Walking the dogs is the entire basis of our friendship and the only reason we spend time together, so I can hardly tell her I don’t want to do that anymore. 

AITA? I just want to take care of my dog, and right now walking with C is not only causing my dog unnecessary stress, it’s re-enforcing bad habits that I am trying really hard to break.

What are these acronyms?

[obae-me]

Omg Hi!!! It has been so long since I have seen you on my dash! How are you doing love? I hope you are doing super well ^.^ I recently saw your Mc with trauma post. I loved it so much, and it has also given me a lot to mull over the past few days lol.

Honestly I love the idea of a traumatized Mc and the brothers feeling like absolute shit for the way they treated them in the beginning... but yk another part of me wonders when I imagine my own traumas in that scenario... that for people (the bros- literal demons) who have faced so many things and traumas in their own lives, whether my feelings or pain is even comparable to that. Ik you can't compare things like that and the brothers would probably even be mad if I think of my feelings this way since it's the "Ohhhh someone always has it worse. It's not even that bad so just suck it up" self-deprecating part of me. Despite knowing ALL THAT I can't help but think that I am not traumatized enough to deserve empathy lmao (I realize how stupid it sounds saying it out loud).

So that is what REALLY got me thinking. What about an Mc that is genuinely terrified of scrutiny, being a nuisance and just basically inconveniencing anyone for things that are just basic needs. Idk if I am explaining it well enough oof and a mc like that (like me lmao) certainly won't bode well with Lucifer. Atleast not in the beginning. I could hate him (I could never but if I did) but still be terrified of disappointing him. This is what I mean when I say I love him but he reminds me too much of my father habits wise 🤢.

I am thinking a Mc who is afraid of asking even their basic needs at the beginning once Lucifer mumbled about them being too much trouble. Mc who feels so extremely guilty when the brothers get anything for them, cuz they feel like they have to work for it or they don't deserve it. Mc whose blood freezes over when they break something and try to replace it as quick as possible so no one blames them. Mc who never expresses their concerns so as to not add to the brothers' already full plates or worry them. It hurts to bottle it all up but seeing the brothers' concerned faces with so much PITY is a thousand times worse. Mc who never complains and adjusts to even unfair situations so as to not be a bother. Mc who just takes, takes and takes everything bad and doesn't say a word cuz they feel like they deserve it. Mc who tells little white lies to hide their flaws and be the perfect exchange student and avoid scoldings and criticisms ; only to stew in shame, disgust, self-loathing when someone eventually catches up on one of the lies (the person probably didn't even make a big deal of it/ was only mildly disappointed but Mc feels their heart breaking in two as they think they have broken their trust forever and would never be trusted again)

Gosh this got way longer than I was expecting >.< and a lot of signs like these aren't really obvious until you are close to that person. I think so many of us are so hard and rutheless to ourselves when sometimes the thing we need the most is a little compassion and understanding ;-;

Hi! I love seeing you in my inbox and thank you! I've been in recovery mode for the last few months but am finally coming back out of that cave and working on my hobbies again (seriously going too long without writing almost feels like going without food for me)! I hope you've been doing well too!

And oof, yes, I understand what you're saying completely. I'm like that too in a lot of ways, keeping certain details or complaints to myself because "Oh surely what I've been to is really nothing". And sometimes I let something slip and people get very concerned. Which is validating in a way, not that I need to be validated for it, everyone goes through their own pain and awful things SUCK no matter to what extent it is and I've had to learn that through my life.

(Wow that MC really is just me, huh? Calling me out are you? /j)

Honestly this type of MC is just canon to me. (I mean, the more pithy responses the MC has in original OM might just be due to writing but to me it just seems like the calm and general response of someone throwing out NPC answers as a survival tactic.)

They suck things up and soak up everything that's been said to them and work hard to remain a normal functioning being.

And of course Lucifer is an interesting character to think about with this MC because on one hand the human could absolutely despise him for the way he treats them. Or on the other hand (if you're like me I guess, which I realize is hella unhealthy, oops) the MC could look up to him and work extra hard to try to gain his validation, because getting praise from someone like that means you must not be a failure, right?

And just...the dynamic of that is so appealing to me, because Lucifer loves when people work hard and do what they're told, but then if he finally comes to the realization that they're burning out and actually almost putting themselves in more danger and harm because of HIM? And at the end of the day he's doing more damage than any of his chaotic brothers? (I like to have him spiral and be humbled just a bit)

Just all of the brothers doing some deep introspection once they come to care for MC and needing to sit down and realize that probably made their human feel so much worse and then spending the rest of eternity trying to fix that. And then the "I can fix him" mentality from MC turns into the "I can fix them" from every other character. A special Uno Reverse, if you will.

Oops, this turned into a fairly long ramble of my own...

Thanks for popping into my inbox with your thoughts! Traumatized MC deserves some extreme love

[imtrashraccoon]

This one was slightly tricky to write and I spent several days just writing dialogue whenever I was able to lol. Oh well, it's still something I'm proud of.

By the way, I think I'm going to call this "Have Some Empathy, Dear" and I have already started posting it on AO3. Some of you have already found it lol! There's additional lore bits that I'll probably post over there if you're curious.

CW: Not sure if this is needed, but there is some mentions of toxic family dynamics in this chapter. Classic family favorites one child over the other and makes negative comments about them as well.

@owl-bones

First Day & Next Day.

Bad Sansuary: Horror - Romance

Word Count: 2,087

You'd seen Axe a few times ever since the day you met him in the forest. Somehow, he'd figured out where you lived but had completely dodged the question when you asked how. You kind of just let it go after that as it was nice hanging out with someone after a long day of work.

Yeah, a smart person would've avoided the obvious red flags... Not that you weren't smart, maybe just selectively blind.

He seemed to be a genuinely nice guy, despite the mildly unsettling habits he had, like the fact that he tended to stare at you for long periods of time. It was like he had scary dog energy but without all of the bite, at least towards you anyways.

Today was a you day. No errands that needed to be run, no one requiring you to be at work, and no chores to do around the house. It was just you and the latest episode of your favorite historical romance show. The last episode had ended on a cliffhanger and you were dying to see if Madam Fratchurine accepted Duke Von Gossimer's proposal or not.

You were only halfway through the episode, without a clear answer to the 'Will they, won't they?' question, when a sharp knocking sounded on your front door. Pausing the episode with a frown, you emerged from your blanket cocoon to see who was outside.

Taking a peek through the peephole, your mild annoyance quickly evaporated when you recognized the person on the other side. Barely sparing a thought on how presentable you were, you unlocked and swung open the door to greet them.

"Axe! Um, hi! I, uh, didn't expect to see you today..."

He quirked a bonebrow when you nearly stumbled over your words and his smile morphed into one of mild amusement. You could feel how warm your cheeks had grown all of the sudden and glanced down at your socks.

Clearing your throat, you tried to start over. "Sorry, why don't you come in? Although I should warn you that I've been relaxing all day so the apartment might be a bit messy." You moved to the side so he could step over the threshold rather than remain standing awkwardly outside your door.

Axe chuckled and his eyelight briefly flicked past you into the hallway. " 's no problem, i didn't let you know beforehand. sorry about that..." he responded. He nearly had to duck his skull in order to come inside but thankfully the doorframe was still a few inches taller than he was.

You gathered up the fuzzy blanket you'd been snuggling in and quickly folded it up to make the room slightly less messy. While you were at it, you straightened the sofa cushions and deposited your blanket on the coffee table for now.

"heh, i didn't think you'd be the type to watch sappy stuff like this," Axe commented.

"Huh?" You glanced over and realized he'd noticed the still paused episode. "Ah, well... It's a bit of a...guilty pleasure of mine."

He glanced at you out of the corner of his left eye socket with a look that seemed to suggest amusement. You flushed and quickly looked away from him.

"I suppose you could say I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic..." you muttered. "The idea of finding your one and only? It was just a thing I fixated on when I was younger I guess."

"nothin' wrong with that," Axe said quietly. "a lot of folks look forward to meetin' someone special like that. soulmates or somethin'... i don't really care, but i suppose it would be nice. i'm sure it would all work out though."

You nodded slowly, "I guess so... Honestly, I kind of envy how carefree you are about it."

"well, i'm not in a hurry to settle down right now," he responded with a shrug.

He was right in a way. There was no hurry to find someone and you could always focus on your career in the meantime. Although growing up, there was always the pressure to find someone quickly so you could be taken care of and give your parents a couple of grandchildren. It was "The least you could do," your mother had said.

Of course, you'd then struggled with a string of bad relationships ever since getting out of high school. Not only had you gotten attached really fast whenever a guy ever showed you any modicum of attention, but you also weren't great at standing up for yourself. Your relationships never lasted longer than a few months and while you'd since learned what mistakes not to make, you were starting to wonder if you should swear off dating altogether.

"so, uh, other than shows like this," Axe motioned to the tv, bringing you out of your thoughts again. "what else do ya like to do?"

"Well, I read occasionally and have a small collection of fantasy type books. I used to be part of my school's chess club but I haven't actually had anyone to play against in a while."

You glanced around the living room before your gaze focused on two of your plants on the window sill. "Oh, I try to keep a few plants alive but I don't think I have much of a green thumb. I also like to press flowers or colourful leaves in the fall. They make some pretty collages but I have to make time to actually put them all together."

He nodded approvingly and studied the plants for a moment. "What kind are they?" he asked.

You pursed your lips in thought while you tried to remember. "The one on the left is a yellow Cala Lilly and I think the other is called a Christmas Cactus although it hasn't bloomed since last year. I'm not sure why as it has sun and I haven't forgotten to water it." You shrugged and added, "It's otherwise thriving so I guess I'm doing something right."

"can't say i'm familiar with either of those types so i can't give ya any advice," Axe hummed softly. "i'm more familiar with the kinds of plants ya can cook with, like vegetables or herbs."

"Do you like to cook then?" you asked.

"i do," he answered with a slight nod. "it's somethin' i just really enjoy doin' i guess..." His singular eyelight was still focused on the plants by your window as he trailed off.

When he didn't elaborate further, you couldn't help but feel a bit awkward. His tone of voice seemed to hint at a deeper meaning to what he'd said and you didn't know if you should ask or not.

So, rather than potentially making things more awkward, you decided not to ask and instead to talk about something else. "You know, I like cooking as well. Although, I really only cook for myself so I have limited experience."

Well that certainly seemed to make him perk up. Axe turned to actually look at you and his eyelight flicked over you in a way that you thought was him sizing you up.

"limited experience or not, it's still an important skill to know. did ya teach yourself or...?"

You shook your head, "No, at least not completely... I learned the basics from my mother but everything else I had to learn through good ol' trial and error." You rubbed the back of your neck and quietly added, "Granted, it was mostly by error..."

Axe let out a short chuckle at that. There was clear amusement written across his skull once again, yet it didn't feel like he was making fun of you.

"that's good, sometimes the best way to learn is to actually try your hand at somethin'. or at least it's the best way i know to figure things out." He lightly scratched the right side of his skull, although you noticed how his phalanges nearly hooked into the empty socket as he did so.

"Maybe we could cook something together sometime then...?" you asked.

To your surprise, he nodded vigorously and his permanent grin quirked wider at the idea. "sure, that could be fun. 's not every day i have the chance to cook with others."

"Awesome!" you exclaimed and gave a bit of a victory fist pump. Axe chuckled again although it was more natural sounding this time, like he hadn't expected you to react with this much enthusiasm.

This conversation made you remember something all of the sudden that you had to share. "You know what's funny? One of the things my mother used to always tell me was, and I quote, 'You gotta find a man who can at least cook because you certainly can't!'" With an awkward chuckle, you added, "In hindsight though, I realize she wasn't actually joking..."

That had been a bad thing to say apparently. His expression flickered between discomfort and concern before settling on a slight frown. You could feel a familiar pit form in your stomach as you realized that you'd basically stuck your foot in your mouth.

Axe let out a heavy sigh through his nasal bone and couldn't seem to meet your gaze all of the sudden. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other before finally muttering a response.

"your mother probably didn't have a guy who could pass for a slasher villian in mind..."

You felt bad for saying something so forward in the first place as it had clearly made him uncomfortable. So you resorted to damage control in an effort to ease tensions once again.

"Well, uh... I guess you're right... She also told me that drinking coffee stunts your growth, which I know isn't true now, but it still frustrated me when I was younger."

Well that got him to chuckle at least. He patted your shoulder in a way that was probably supposed to be reassuring, although it did feel slightly patronising seeing as how tall he was.

"are ya sure that isn't true?" he asked in a tone that sounded like it was supposed to be sassy, although his deep voice did just the opposite.

You crossed your arms and huffed in annoyance. "It isn't! I don't even drink that much coffee compared to other people..."

"what other things did she tell you? any other gems?"

You frowned and shook your head. "Nothing very helpful... She used to be obsessed with my weight growing up and never kept any snacks in the house. If I ever mentioned I was hungry, she'd just tell me to go eat a handful of almonds or something."

You sighed and dropped onto the couch. Steepling your chin with your hands, you tried to take deep breaths to avoid getting all worked up over what had happened in the past. You felt bad that you'd nearly just dumped a bunch of your own trauma on Axe when he was basically a complete stranger.

The cushions shifted as he sat down next to you. You glanced over at him and rather than annoyance like you'd expected, he looked slightly concerned. You very rarely talked to anyone about your childhood as they never understood and brushed off your mother's rules as well-meaning. He didn't seem to be like any of the others though and you started to wonder if he actually understood you.

"I'm...not on good terms with my family...in general," you muttered.

He seemed surprised if the way his left eye socket widened was any indication. "how come?" he asked quietly. "family's pretty important, at least to me anyways..."

You shook your head slowly. "I really don't want to get into all of it right now... But, the short of it is my mother was basically what some people call an almond mom and my older sister was seen as the golden child. I was basically dirt in comparison to her and my entire family favorited her."

"i don't really understand..." Your heart sank but Axe continued speaking before you could try to explain. "but i can tell this is a sore spot for ya, so i won't push ya to explain anythin' else, okay?"

You gave him a stiff smile out of sheer relief. "I appreciate it..." you responded with a sigh.

In an attempt to talk about something lighter, you tried to change to subject. "Do you have any family?" you asked.

His skull visibly brightened, somehow, at your question and he grinned warmly. "yep, i got a younger brother and he's the coolest dude i know..."

[lilvalleys]

REMEMBER EVERYTHING | DR3

in which teenage sweethearts are reunited in texas but at what cost ?

warnings - angst , yearning , crying , mentions of heidi , unhappy/open ending ?this is NOT edited or proof read… sorry!

a/n - OOPS IM BACK :)))

Rotgut whiskey's gonna ease my mind

Beach towel rests on the dryin' line

Do I remind you of your daddy in his '88 Ford?

Labrador hangin' out the passenger door

It’s like you could still see it all. You were still kids. Just kids. You could still see those stars and feel him behind you. Could still see him hanging out of that car like it was made for him. It was made for him. He looked unreal , like an old reel of film recently developed. Or like that dog that followed you around that summer. Maybe being a teenager was supposed to be hard. Maybe you were supposed to feel like you’d had your one great love this was it , or maybe that was just the teenager in you. Daniel left that summer. The North American circuits could only get him so far , and he wanted to be great. You wanted him to be great. He was going to go to Europe , it was decided. You still had that summer though , and it was the best one of your life.

The sand from your hair is blowin' in my eyes

Blame it on the beach, grown men don't cry

Do you remember that beat down basement couch?

I'd sing you my love songs and you'd tell me about

How your mama ran off and pawned her ring

I remember, I remember everything

Seventeen. Daniel thought he was a grown man. You thought he was too , but it’s just how you perceived him. Always protecting you , always with you, grown, mature. He felt guilty and he knew that he shouldn’t have but still he felt bad. Both of you were aware it was your last night together for a while , he snuck you out of your house that night and you wandered down to the beach. You remember that it was the beach with rocks instead of sand. Danny was such a gentleman that he laid down on the towel with all the rocks in his back so you could lay on his chest. He couldn’t let you , knowing what coming. It was chilly and he wrapped his arms around you. “This is it you know…” You knew but you didn’t want to. 17 year olds on different continents with different lives was never going to work. It was nice to dream though, and it was so easy and effortless. You whispered back through that void “I know…” He sniffled. Wetness dropped down his face to your shoulder. “Danny? Are you crying?” He had a bad habit of hiding it , like he was scared of his emotions. You remember that he blamed it on the beach , said something about the sand from your hair blowing in his eyes , but you knew really it was because he thought grown men didn’t cry. After you laid on the beach for a while he snuck you back to the house, your parents left the door unlocked. They knew you needed this. He held you on the couch in your basement and sang you love songs until you fell asleep. When you woke up he was gone , and that was the last you heard of him for so long.

A cold shoulder at closing time

You were begging me to stay 'til the sun rose

Strange words come on out

Of a grown man's mouth when his mind's broke

Pictures and passin' time

You only smile like that when you're drinking

I wish I didn't, but I do

Remember every moment on the nights with you

You knew he made it. It was hard not to follow him, he was an up and coming formula 1 star and you grew up in the sport. You did your best to avoid races , to avoid him. He had a girlfriend, some model or actress who suited him perfectly. Still it shocked you when you saw him on screen. He looked just like himself. Which is admittedly a weird thing to say , but he truly looked like Daniel . He got his braces off , and his hair was a little less wild but he was still your same old Danny. Which is why when you saw him in that bar , you recognized him immediately. He had that shit eating grin on his face . Danny only smiled like that when he was drinking. Or looking at you. He recognized you too. Recognized you well enough that somehow some way after teary hellos you ended up tangled up in his hotel sheets while his girlfriend called him wondering why their nightly goodnight had been postponed. “I love you” god, you couldn’t say it back. How could you say it back when you knew this was temporary. Daniel was only going to be in Texas for a few days , he had to go back to Europe for one of his girlfriends premiers. It doesn’t shock you how easy that ‘love you’ comes out of his mouth. Strange words come out of a grown man’s mouth when his mind’s broke. After the few days were up , memories had been relived , it was time for him to go. You kissed your goodbyes and waited for the next time you would see him. Daniel told you it was too dangerous for you to text or call but that he should be back in a few months. You went to that bar every night.

You're drinkin' everything to ease your mind

But when the hell are you gonna ease mine?

You're like concrete feet in the summer heat

It burns like hell when two souls meet

No, you'll never be the man that you always swore

But I'll remember you singin' in that '88 Ford

Things like this slowly eat at you. One month turned to two , turned to three , turned to four. You started to believe that it would be another 4 years until you saw him again. Oddly you were willing to wait. When you did see him again , it would be worth it. He was still that innocent loving man you knew. That’s how you saw him at least. Daniel did not feel the same. He felt horrible every time he went to book a flight , or call your parents house , he couldn’t do it. You two used to talk shit about guys like this… and now he was just like them. And you were just like the girls they would string along. He is not the man everyone thinks he is and it is absolutely killing him. But one thing about guys like this , no matter how bad they feel they will always come back for more.

[gatitties]

HEY HEY HOW R U DOING. ITS FINALLY CHRISTMAS TIME SO MERRY CHRIMUH (2023 passed too fast…) im the one who asked for the strawhats x anxiety! Teen! Reader!!!! And im an angsty person so I just wanna ask…

Can you write Strawhats x struggling! Teen! Reader?? It’s the exact same reader btw, they’re strong and kind and helpful and so sweet, has a tough exterior even if they’re just a kid and the youngest on the ship. And when I mean struggling I mean that they deal with self h*te, their anxiety got worse and so on. They didn’t plan to tell the crew but the crew has noticed their behavior. How they go to their room instead of playing with them like they used to, how they just sit down and zone out, a habit of their’s being to put their hand up to their face and rub in annoyance and stress just like they do with the hand on the chest when they’re anxious. The crew sees them being gloomy when they’re alone or whenever the adults look away (putting on the facade) and the reader doesn’t look like they’re taking care of themselves and they’re looking tired and unmotivated.

(kinda describing me a lil bit I just wanna see my comfort characters react to this sorta thing-)

And they finally confront her about it and after some convincing they finally spill all thats inside and get the love that they don’t think they deserve!!! I love angst sorry…

(Before I wrote this I checked through your rules to see if this kinda thing wasn’t allowed. I didn’t see anything opposing my idea but just know that if you feel uncomfy with this sorta thing then thats ok and you can just ignore this ask.❤️ Or maybe you could reply with a little “no” just so me and others know that ur not ok with it. I wanna be respectful!)

ANYWAY I HOPE U HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. PLEASE AND TY.

─Strawhats x teen!reader (platonic)

─Summary: You thought everything would be fine after your anxiety attacks subsided, but it was just the calm before your mind played with you.

─Warnings: none

(Related post)

ayy sorry I'm a little late with this one but here it is 😭, I hope you had a good Christmas, that you started the year on the right foot and may everything go well for now!! 😌

─ You thought your anxiety attacks would end once you confessed how you felt to the crew, partially accepting their help, and while it worked for a while, you went back into your shell.

─ The mind of adolescents is incredibly moldable, and yours decided to take the most contemptuous path towards yourself, the attacks were controlled, but the self-hatred that you began to feel towards yourself made them return.

─ You felt guilty and your pride did not allow you to seek help a second time, feeling that you would be more of a nuisance to the rest.

─ Your appearance underwent changes as well as your behaviors, your energy was drained, you began to lock yourself in your room more, not be present at group celebrations…

─ Eventually they noticed your sudden change again, everything was fine and from one day to the next you become like a stranger with them again, Robin could notice it instantly.

─ All your actions gave you away, but Chopper recognized the signs of anxiety, your rapid breathing, your eyes moving uncontrollably, although he did not understand why you touched your face so much, he thought it was one of the causes of your anxiety.

─ They accepted that you were a stubborn teenager, but this had to be nipped in the bud just as Nami said once she found out that your anxiety attacks had gotten worse lately, since the indirect way of helping wasn't working now.

─ It was much more stressful for you that they decided to confront you directly, since you used to run away from conversations related to your well-being, being something that you feel insecure talking about, you preferred to avoid it.

─ You tried to escape from that talk with bad excuses, but Sanji's kindness made you sit in the chair like a scolded child.

─ Jinbe silenced Luffy because he knew that he was going to be too direct with you, and although they wanted to be, they needed a little tact to talk to you, Usopp took care of that.

─ You avoided eye contact for most of the talk, not wanting to confront them while you spoke.

─ Again, you ended up crying as you let your feelings come to light, you felt trapped enough to let it all out, much more sincerely than the previous time, feeling a little embarrassed by your cruel thoughts towards you.

─ Luffy scolded you again, but he gave you the best hug you could have received in years, everyone joined in afterwards, except Zoro, who watched from afar with a small smile.

─ You felt calmer after the talk, but it will still be difficult for you to express yourself about how you feel, they assured you that it was okay, that it was okay to want to have some time alone when you feel bad, but that they will always be there to help you with all your problems whatever they are.

[1-800-cr33py]

Forelsket

(n) the euphoria experience when you first fall in love 

Okay so its not the best, Benadryl making life hard rn TvT

Word count: 3400

TW: It’s HABIT cmon nw, dubcon, he kinda breaks in????? Dom/sub undertones but never stated outright, breeding kind kinda, my bad writing while im sick.

Haven’t wrote smut for a while so this will probably be re-written when Im in my right mind

The taste of you was heavy on his tongue, so much so that every word, every breath was you, and only you. 

Balance. That's what the universe needs, enforced. A never-ending balance that no one, not ever the strongest or oldest of Entities challenged. Where there was light, there shall be dark and vice versa. Habit hated it. He hated seeing people heal, he hated seeing a familiar iridescent form from the corner of his eye. It was a never ending cycle; Habit would bring some undeserved wrath to some poor mortal unfortunate enough to have caught his eye, or maybe it was his hatred for the Slender Man that that pushed him, but nonetheless he’d drag out some unnecessary,torturous game that only he finds entertaining, and there you’d be. When Habit was created, born of hate and trickery; you were also brought forth. A being of an oh so tender light that even he could only stare in a curious awe. You were his balance, always there to counteract whatever damage he’d done. Habit hated you for a while, avoiding you for the longest, trying to reverse whatever you did; and for a while those feelings were mutual. You, still young and naive, believed that this was some kind of sick punishment that you’d somehow earned yourself in the brief moments you’d met the creators. Fos, your creator, a being of an eternal, cold light, caressed your cheek and sent you on your way, giving you favored blessings and best wishes. You were a favorite, a purer being that they’d created to serve as a buffer; sometimes you’d wish you weren’t. Habits, well habits made you sick. He’d toy with mortals like he was a creator himself,a god. And you’d mess with him back all the same, pulling his horn like appendages, calling him out on his name; a constant back and forth you'd both soon tire of.

“ You think you’re so much better than I, don’t you, pretty? “ his voice, rough and condescending, questioned, his many eyes all gazing down at you. 

“ Of course I do, mutt. I am better. ‘ You hated this man, if he even was one. It didn’t matter how many times you changed your form, he’d always make it his mission to make you feel small, weak. You couldn’t take much more after the Dark Ages, too much suffering and not enough time to fix it. You, and your brethren failed for many, many years. Fos, in all their luminal glory, felt pity upon you all, and gave most of you the sanctuary you needed to regain the lost energy and strength you’d lost during the seemingly endless wars and revolutions. It had been 798 years to be exact, and many things changed since that day. Ligo Fos, as your kind had come to be called, were ridded of your old appearances, no matter the differencing in forms. The small, branch like ‘horns’ fell, and your skin became soft, many ranges of colors that still felt limiting. 

‘ We must cater to the mortals, my dear children. ‘ Fos's voice was caring, yet stern. The Creator willed it, so as dutiful servants you must obey, lest you want to be repurposed. It would be alright. 

Time skip

Ligos Fos, elusive creatures known to heal the sick and punish the guilty. Beings of a light so bright that only artists can gaze upon. All these titles boosted your ego. Mortals viewed anything they didn’t understand as a higher being. They viewed your blessings as some mystical power that was your own. Laughable. 

As the sun rose and fell, you spent your days following your hellish counterpart. Trailing behind him wherever he went, fixing his wrongs. It was the late 90s when he caught on. Habit would flick his eyes to your hidden location and smile a cruel,twisted smirk that had only gotten worse than you remember it. Habit had changed, he wasn't a twiggy, short thing made of the darkest ink anymore. He’d grown into what mortals called a ‘man’. He’d taken on a vessel of sorts. A human man, barely reaching 19 summers at this point. You had to admit, he would be attractive once he grew into his looks. This ‘highschool’ and ‘college’ would be stressful, and human hormones would fluctuate often. Habit, or Evan, as he’d been calling himself nowadays, was almost dog-like, always chasing down something he shouldn’t, getting overly excited, etc. etc. His antics were cute to you, making you forget that this wasn’t this Evan person, whoever he was. This was Habit, your Habit. The same creature that mocked you, pulled at your cheeks until they were sore, muddied your outerwear. You felt pity for whoever Evan was, because you knew well enough that he was gone, his body nothing more than a husk for Habit to use and bend until it broke. For three years you did this, slowly getting closer and closer to the thing you’d been made with. Forced a bond in which you didn’t know how to work with or use in any way. 

For the longest it was awkward to say the least. Habit wanted nothing more than to make your life a living hell, doing the most trivial things to irk your nerves for the sake of it. 

“ Your cheeks puff up when you get upset, pretty. Did I upset the pretty dove? Ruffle your feathers? “ he, Evan, all but cackled his rough hands cupping your jaw. You were sure you hated him, but even you, in all your prideful ways, had to admit he was attractive. You scoffed at his statement, retreating out the door, your feet stomping angrily. He’d never let you live this down. Habit would call you brattish, daring you to object and ‘prove his point’; yet some part of you wanted that. A part of you that thought about the young man in facetious ways. Ways that would leave a damp spot in your panties. You suppressed these urges for the longest. Fos found it funny when you consulted them, thinking you were defective, broken. One had to admit, you’ve always been a theatrical type. Fos explained you were mature now, one of the first of their creations to fully mature actually; something that had you preening for a while. Fos sent you back to the mortal realm, with no instructions other than to get used to these urges, for they wouldn’t end now that they’ve started. And stars above they weren't wrong about that one bit. During the early months of spring you suffered. Your lower abdomen ached and your fingers didn’t provide you the relief you needed. After you found out about toys, they only satisfied you for about a year in total. By now, your ‘heats’ had begun to hurt progressively more. 

  ➞break

Habit knew something felt wrong. He felt something gnawing at the pit of his stomach, or a nagging voice in the back of the endless void he called a mind. Then it clicked for him. It was the turning of the seasons. Spring was approaching and he’d forgotten about it.. Habit mentally cursed himself. Quickly bringing the phone to cancel any and all plans or work he may have had the next week and a half. Sure his pockets would hurt for a while but he’d manage. After the first few days he began to feel the effects of his upcoming rut, and something told him it would be bad. His urge to nest and hoard was already something when he wasn’t being pumped full of unwanted hormones, but now? Now he’d be growling at air if he felt his space was being threatened. He’d spend his days shirtless, a pair of sweatpants hung loosely around his waist; a thin layer of sweat covered his body as he fanned himself. Habit’s house was on the verge of freezing, yet he still panted like a dog. What made it so much worse was that his cock ached, the tip a hot red now from past abuse and Habit still wasn’t satisfied. By now he was pushing 21 summers, well the vessel was anyways;  many of the entities Habit had familiarized himself with in the past now sired many cherub faced cambions, hell, a good many knocked up the Ligos they’d been balanced with when they were created alongside. One acquaintance spoke of how pretty her Ligos looked underneath her. Habit’s mind slowly drifted towards the idea of you, and how you’d look beneath his, whining and begging for him to fuck his cum back into your soaked hole, or maybe you’d beg him to stop, tell him you hated him and that he was lucky to even be this close to you in the first place. Habit laughed at the last thought, his cock twitched as he palmed himself through his pants. He’d have you. He needed to have the pleasure of seeing such an elusive, prideful creature reduced to a whimpering, blubbering mess below him, your voice cracking and begging for him to slow down, begging him to breed you. The mere thought of shooting his cum down your sopping hole made a guttural groan leave his throat as he continued to palm himself through his sweatpants. He ached for you, longed for you.

       -with you-

The empty feeling in your stomach was enough to make you whine. As much as you adored your Creator, they did little to help ease the tightness. Your hand was buried between your thighs, fingers soaked with your cum, and yet it still wasn’t enough. You needed something more than just your fingers and toys; you’d brought yourself to orgasm after fucking orgasm and yet you still felt wrong. Your body was slick with sweat at this point, the scent of sex heavy in the air around you. As you bit on the now clipped fingernail, listening to the rain outside the small glass window, sometimes you’d like to think that your savior would waltz out of the treeline to solve all your problems; you’d laugh at the childish thoughts then. Now you wish they would. You continued your daydreaming, oblivious to the creaking floorboards. You smelt him before you saw him. He smelt like teakwood and fire; he smelt like home, safety. 

‘ Habit. ‘ your voice croaked, hoarse from the screaming and whining you’ve done. Habit laughed, his voice gravelly as he continued. 

‘ So this is what my little starlight does in her freetime? Stuffing her cunt like whore? ‘ 

Habit laughed as he kicked himself off the doorframe to stalk closer to your now shaking body. You weren’t scared, but the anticipation, the adrenaline. You could taste it, it was addicting, for once in your life you allowed yourself to become addicted to it. Dark eyes raked across your body, taking note of how your nightwear clung to your sweat covered skin. You looked absolutely delectable like this, and you didn’t even know. Habit was an impatient being already, but what little patience he had left was thinning, the last string so close to popping before he allowed those urges he’d taken so long to suppress. The scent of sex made Habit lick his lips as he crawled atop you, muscles tense as his hands pulled at your sheets. Habit trailed open mouthed kissed down your neck and throat, leaving a trail of bites in his wake, hickeys would be a pain in the ass to cover tomorrow, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care about the past resentment you had for this man, you didn’t care about the past teasing, arguments. Anything. All that mattered right now was him. 

Then he stopped, and gods above you wanted to tear his throat out. 

“ Tell me to stop dove. “ Habit’s voice was hushed, raspy even. He wanted you to tell him to stop, tell him to go fuck himself, find some cheap whore he could dispose of after he was done with them. He wanted you to tell him to go to hell, you weren’t like him, but yet here you were, shoving your head to the side, begging him not to stop. Your thighs pushed apart to fit his body against yours. To Habit, you didn’t want him to stop, no you wanted him to ruin you for anyone else, to leave an imprint of himself on your soul. A guttural growl left Habit’s throat as he bit down on your throat, a hand moving to grip your jaw. 

“ I told you to do something starlight, " the man spoke through gritted teeth, a cruel smile etching its way onto his face. Your eyes locked with his, dark eyes a flurry of emotions. Lust. Need. Somethings else you couldn’t name. To think you’re relearning each other after so long apart, and yet he still remembered which parts made you weak. A smile etched itself on your features just when you settled your hand against Habit’s that still lay resting on your jaw. When you turned your head to gently kiss his palm. 

“ If I wanted you to stop, I would've made you a while ago, Habit. '' your voice was muffled in his palm. “ And right now, I want you to ruin me. “ Habit’s eyes darkened at your words, pulling your hips closer to his, you almost whined at the feeling of his cock through the material of his pants. Habit’s lips were heavy against yours as he dragged his hands down your body, pawing at any exposed flesh he could feel, your soft nightwear being pushed out of the way for his preying hands to feel for more. You felt whole. His touch was electric, leaving sparks wherever his hands found sanctuary. Habit liked toying with his prey, feeding off their fear, their tears; and you were no exception. He’d tease, he’d edge if that's what it took for you to break before him. How long would you last? How long before you were fucked dumb? To braindead to speak coherent sentences? He’d find out. He’d find out if it took him all night and the next day. Habit’s hand slowly found itself between your thighs, the damp spot in your panties making him chuckle. His lips found your throat once again as his fingers traced your slit, gathering up your slick on his fingers before pushing them into your soaked hole. A breathy whine leaving you lips, eyes closing as your head lolled back into your pillow. Habit’s pace was slow, his fingers curling deliciously at that spot that made you want to scream. He wanted you to beg, to put your pride aside and ask him for your release that you craved so desperately. Maybe he’d be nice, maybe he’d set aside his usual cruelty and sadistic want and just give you what you wanted for once! 

“ Fat chance, pretty! Tell me what I want and then you can cum.” Habit was a bastard, he wouldn’t give anybody anything for free, what made you any different. And you gave in. You begged, borderline screamed pleas for him to just let you come undone, the familiar tightness in your stomach threatening to pop; but he didn’t allow it. Habit pried his fingers from your cunt and brought them to his lip. The sight was erotic, taboo. Watching him lick your slick off his fingers made your thighs close, or at least attempt to. Habit groaned and threw his head back, eyes closed as the corners of his mouth made a lopsided grin. “ Gods you taste better than I imagine dove. “ he voiced his praise, your cheeks felt hot as you averted your eyes. “ Please…” a weak plea left your lips. It was almost laughable to Habit, you were throwing a tantrum all because he wouldn’t let you get off? Cute, but he’d be nice just this once. His cock was painfully hard at this point, the tip a burning red as he pulled his pants down just enough to free his member. Your mouth practically watered at the sight, but there’d be another time you’d get to suck him dry. Your panties had long since been discarded, the fabric laying in tattered shreds on your floor somewhere alongside the promise to buy you more. You squirmed, trying to find any friction you could but Habit’s firm hands kept you still, his fingers sure to leave bruises with his grip on your hips. “ No no pretty, tell me what you want. “ he chided, a sadistic grin on his face. His hair clung to his forehead, a sheen of sweat coating his body as his muscles tensed. He was holding back, waiting for those words to fall out of your mouth, and gods was it worth the wait. “ Please gods! Please just fuck me Habit! Use me! I don’t care just let me cum-” your sentence was cut short as Habit thrusted his cock into you without so much as a warning, tears pricking your eyes from the sudan intrusion. Something between a growl and groan left the man’s throat. Your warmth sucked him in. Habit gave you a brief moment to adjust before his pace was quickened, his grip on your hips bruising as your back arched. His intent was to breed you, mark your insides as his. You were his. His to hold, his to kiss, his to breed. The thought of you round with his children made his cock twitch. You’d be such a good mother, such a doting mate. Your sweet sounds filled his ears, urging him on. Habit was running on pure instinct at that moment, no words were spoken between you two, because they didn’t need to be. A hand left your hip to press on your stomach, a toothy smile on his face as he leaned down to kiss away the stray tears that fell from your eyes. You looked so pretty, all fucked out, dazed, and all from his cock. “ Aw is my little dove all fucked out? To dumb on cock to speak now? “ Habit cackled as he left soft slaps to your cheek, and all you could do was nod. Your brain long fried as he fucked his cock into you. Gargled pleas left your lips, yet you didn’t know what you were begging for at this point. For him to stop? Fuck you harder? He didn’t care, all Habit cared about was fucking you full of his kids. Habit groaned as your cunt squeezed his cock, a rough smack landed on your thigh making you jump. His dark eyes met yours as he hissed out a threat “ You better not fucking cum yet. Not until I say so. “. He left no room for objection, so all you could do was whine and take it, cunt fluttering around his cock as he mixed degrading words with his filthy praises. A high-pitched whine left your throat as you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, digging your nails into his flesh and burying your face into his shoulder; your pleas falling on deaf ears. You begged, cried, pleaded for Habit to just let you cum, that you’d do anything. Habit’s voice was hoarse as he laughed, a grunt heaved from his throat. 

Your vision turned white as you came. It took a few moments to come back to your senses and even then they were fried. Everything felt fuzzy almost, hazy. Habit, panting and showering you with sloppy kisses and half-formed praises lay on top of you. His weight was nice, you felt protected and warm. “ You’ll be such a good little mate won’t you? “ he grinned, wiping the stray hairs from your forehead before planting a kiss on it. “ Such a good mother too? Maybe I’ll just keep you plugged so it takes? You’d like that wouldn’t you pretty? You want to make me happy don’t you? Yeah, you do. “ His voice was background noise to you at this point, but his words made you smile. You felt whole, full. No longer longing for something you couldn’t have or couldn’t reach. Habit hummed as he stroked your face, watching you doze every now and then. You’d keep him happy enough for now. And busy.

 “ Oh don’t think I’m done yet, starlight, I’m just gracious enough to give you a break! Say thank you, why don’t you? “ 

[the---hermit]

20|12|2023

My health is slowly improving, I felt much better today, and also while studying I felt myself being more focused. I haven't gone back to the very energy demanding tasks yet, but I am happy with what I done today. I am still paying close attention to what my asks of me and I am starting to feel like I should put in my 2024 goals learning to listen to what I both need and want. It's something that has been on my mind for a while, but I really struggle to verbalize my wants, sometimes even to myself and that needs to change. I feel like I always have to compromize, or avoid what I want because do I really need that? And if I decided that yes I do want and need it I then feel instantly guilty about it. For example today I really wanted to not study in the afternoon, not because I am feeling bad, but because I would have rather sat on the couch watching a tv show that studying. I couldn't bring myself to, because I already skipped studying days when I was sick a couple of days ago and have so much to do, and many other excuses. I did do my best to compromize and finish studying earlier, and tomorrow I will try to do the same. But this is someething I need to prioritize working on.

calm hobbit winter activiites and productivity:

read in the morning while I was having my tea (I am slowly getting back to having enough energy to focus on the page, so I am counting this as a big win)

daily Irish practice on duolingo (I want to do better and take the habit of always doing duolingo in the morning because I know I am more focused and I memorize things much better)

finished additing some new infos on part of my notes

practiced my presentation for Friday

started brainstorming reading goals for the next year

started working on the recording of Monday's lecture

📖: Bookshops And Bonedust by Travis Baldree

[maxipad032]

pov: you have a bad habit of going out and drinking, which shuri doesn’t like as she worries for your safety.

short + sweet headcanon w/ protective shuri✨

shuri sighed heavily as she put her phone down on the bed next to her after calling you for the past hour. you haven’t been picking up and she grew more and more worried, her bouncing leg showing her anxiety. she tried to connect to your kimoyo beads but quickly noticed that you’d left them at home as you always did even when she told you it was important you took them with you incase anything happened.

you left to go to the nightclub with your friends at around 8pm and it was currently 4am as shuri purposely and patiently stayed up to wait for you. normally, she was in the lab anyway so it wasn’t hard to avoid sleeping but being in her bedroom was making it increasingly difficult to remain awake. although, her constant worrying about you made it easier. she’d insisted to come with you but you knew she had work to do in the morning and you’d feel guilty if she wasn’t able to so, so you convinced her not to come and just stay home.

“shit man, where the fuck is she?” shuri questioned into thin air as she sat up, running her hands lazily through her curls as she thought about what to do. just then, she heard the door slam open and shut as the sound of clacking heels echoed around the house. hearing it, shuri shot out of bed and went into the living room, seeing you leaning down on the counter and looking absolutely out of it with your head down and hair splayed everywhere.

“y/n, baby are you okay?” shuri hurriedly rushed over to you, lifting you up by your shoulders and checking to see if you were okay. you lazily lifted your head up at her and smiled, trying to reach up to her face but nearly falling in the process as you missed your footing. shuri held you again before you fell and put an arm around your shoulder, guiding you into your shared room. she sat you on the soft bed and turned off all the lights in the house before closing the door gently.

you slumped down onto the bed, your eyes barely opening as your head pounded and mouth was dry; you didn’t mean to get so wasted, but your friends were egging you on to drink more and you never turned down a challenge so…voila.

“y/n y/l/n.” shuri called out in a stern voice as she stayed, leaning up against the cream coloured door, arms crossed like a nursery teacher.

“mmm.” you groaned out, not able to make sentences yet as you tossed and turned.

“do you have any idea what the time is?” shuri asked, her tone becoming harsher.

“ehh…no.” you said quietly, not really being able to comprehend what she was saying.

“it’s fucking 4am and you left at 8pm? you said you’d be back by 1am, and not to mention you didn’t answer your phone or bring your kimoyo beads? what if something happened to you? i stop at nothing to guarantee your safety but you go and do incredibly stupid things that make it hard to look out for you. at this point i’m actually so tired of it, you need to limit your drinking because it’s getting out of hand!”

you slowly opened your eyes and leaned up, sensing that she was upset at you.

“baby…are you really that mad? come on, i’m here aren’t i?” you pouted, squinting at her as you tried to make out her face.

“that’s not my point here,” shuri began as she walked towards you, “my point is that you are being very irresponsible, you’re an adult for gods sake not a teenager.” shuri said sassily, sitting on the bed as she watched you try to talk back, but not being able to because you’re completely drunk out of your mind.

“mmm..sorry baby.” is all you managed to get out as you were completely void of emotion which was a complete contrast to your sober self which would’ve been sobbing if shuri talked to you like this.

“whatever, just go to sleep, i’ll get you some pills and water or else you’re gonna end up with one heck of a hangover tomorrow.” shuri rolled her eyes, getting up to rustle through her drawers for the pills and opening an unopened water bottle to place at your bedside.

she was able to make you take them before helping you to undress, taking off your high heels, tight blue dress and even wiping off your heavy makeup. then, she dried your face off and slipped you into some comfy pj’s whilst you basically fell asleep as was doing it like a literal baby. yes, she was mad at you but fucking hell you were cute as hell, she’d give you a proper scolding tomorrow, when you were sober and could actually understand. she tucked you in and got in bed herself in which you were already snoring hard as fuck and she quietly laughed , kissing your forehead before wishing you a goodnight, “goodnight my angel, bast i don’t know what i would’ve if something bad had happened to you.” she muttered, finding comfort in hearing the low thrumming of your chest and eventually going to sleep too, dwelling in the comfort that you were safe and in her arms as you should be.