#I have grown up being told that I am uncomfortable to hug or cuddle with or like anything like that

[nope-body]

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[officialcharactersimp]

Mending & Amends

(Graduation Gift Part 4)

Summary: the fourth installment of my graduation gift series (can be found on my masterlist). This picks up literally seconds after the end of pt 3 with Natasha trying to find ways to make amends and get you to trust her again. No smut, but still not appropriate.

A/N: author’s note WC: 3k (holy heck)

CW: dark fic; mommy!nat; there is no porn, I repeat no porn; but there is mommy milk/breastfeeding; reader is injured; dubcon existence; 18+ only, do you hear me??

While you’re out, Natasha has time to tend to your injuries without you cowering and crying. Without all the guilt.

She picks your limp form up gently and brings you back out to the basement proper and lays you face-down on the bed-crib. She goes to get some medical supplies and cleans you up, then bandages the open bits and rubs some healing salve all over you. With only a few strikes having landed on your core, she’s satisfied with rubbing some of the salve there.

She gets you to drink some water from a bottle in your sleep, your natural instincts she’s been nurturing taking over. She checks your temperature, a solid 99, which isn’t too bad. She wipes the sweat and tear-tracks from your face, then brushes your hair out again. She lays down beside you and drapes an arm over your waist, burying her face into the back of your neck as she tries to think of what she’ll do when you wake up.

An idea forms slowly as she runs her hand along your waist. Yes, that will work. You might not like it at first, but it will work if she bears through it. She’s not sure how much of the fear and pain on your face she can handle, but she needs to.

She moves you off the bed to make it up nice, then sets you down gently, face down. Whenever you’re healed up you’ll be able to lay on your back, but right now that’s not possible. She ties your hands and feet to frame corners with plenty of slack—she wants you to be able to move.

Finally, she reluctantly removes your collar, biting her lip as she does so. It looked so precious on you, a symbol of the progress of your relationship. All gone now, thanks to her paranoia and overreaction. As much as she doesn’t want to remove it, it’s not right to keep it on if it speaks a lie.

Then she waits for you to come to. It shouldn’t be much longer now, maybe another half hour or so. She sits in the rocking chair in the corner, anxiously bouncing her leg. She needs to get herself under control before you wake. She knows her little baby needs for her to be the collected, caring, soothing mommy right now, and that you will for some time.

You mumble a little as you begin to stir, picking your head up a little. She takes a deep breath and smiles before going over and crouching down to look at your face while she gently tucks your hair back.

“Hey baby,” she says softly. “How’s my little sleepyhead feeling?” she asks. You whimper and inch away from her.

“D-don’ touch me,” you stammer.

“It’s okay baby, mommy isn’t gonna hurt you,” she says.

She sits down beside you. “I am so so sorry about what I did earlier. I was scared you were gonna try to leave me and get hurt. It’s a nasty drop from that window. But I didn’t take the time to think past my initial reaction or ask you, and that was wrong. I overreacted out of fear and anger without stopping to think, and I’m so sorry, little one. I never should have done that,” she says, tears brimming in her eyes. You turn your head to look up at her, eyes searching hers for any sign of ingenuity. You find only regret and sadness.

“You mean it?” you ask softly.

“Yes baby,” she says. “And mommy promises never to punish you without talking first or before taking some deep breaths, okay?” she says.

“Pinky promise?” you ask.

“Pinky promise,” she sticks out her pinky to hook with yours. She’s thrilled that you’re already starting to be a bit little again. As you move to interlock with her, you notice the restraints.

“Wait, what?” all traces of your headspace are gone as you jerk up to look around at your tied limbs. “What the hell?”

“Baby, it’s to keep you safe. See? They’re not tight or anything,” she tugs on all the loose rope.

“This is insane! All of this is insane!” you shout at her for the first time in weeks. It breaks her heart even more.

“I told you, mommy’s gonna fix what she did. Mommy’s gonna show you you can trust me again, gonna take care of you, of everything. Make it so this collar means something again,” she taps it on the bedside table, just out of your reach. You bury your face in your pillow and sob.

“It’s gonna be okay, baby. Mommy’s here. Mommy’s gonna make it all better,” she curls up beside you and puts an arm over you again. Despite how upset you are, you lean into it, wanting the physical comfort you associate with her.

“How’s your bottom?” she asks.

“Hurts,” you mumble.

“Do you think some Advil might help?” she asks. You nod and she gets up briefly to go get it. “Here you go, baby,” you tilt your head up and she puts the pills in, then grabs your bottle of water. You roll your eyes but suck on it to get the water to wash the pills down. You nod a thank you.

“Are you hungry?” she asks. You nod. “What do you want? I’ll even go drive through somewhere if that will help,” she says. You think for a moment.

“McDonalds?” you ask hopefully. She nods and smooths your hair back.

“McDonalds will be here soon,” she assures you. “Mommy has to go see a friend, too, so it works out. I’ll be back in half an hour or so, okay?” she says. You nod.

She kisses your head, which you recoil from, and leaves. You’re left alone to lay face-down on the crib-bed, restrained and in pain, until she returns. It’s silent. It’s lonely. You’ve grown used to either having Natasha or the sounds of the TV running since you came down here.

You think back to this morning. Everything was so different. You honestly trusted her this morning, even if it wasn’t the strongest trust. But this afternoon reminded you that she was an unstable, dangerous, paranoid lunatic. And it scared you.

Truth be told, you’ve grown to like being “little,” as Natasha calls it, letting yourself stop thinking too much and trust your mommy—Natasha, you correct yourself—to take care of you. You liked playing with her and cuddling. And when she touched you, it felt so good. So much better than when you had touched yourself. You felt loved and cared for in some twisted way.

But that was all in the past, now. You’d been doing so well, both of you, and now this. How does she expect you to trust her again? You’re not sure. You turn your head and close your eyes.

—

“You’re sure this will work, Wan?” Natasha asks her friend anxiously as she pulls her shirt back on. The red glow around her is fading. Her bra feels painfully tight and she winces.

“I’m positive. It worked for me, and especially given that you told me it’s happened before with those meds. If not tonight, by tomorrow for sure. And here’s these,” she hands Natasha a package. “They’ll be much more comfortable.”

“Thanks, Wanda. I don’t know what I’d do without you, in all honesty,” she says. Wanda smiles and hugs her.

“I could say the same to you,” she smiles. “Go on, get back to your little one,” she shoos her playfully. Natasha waves and leaves, then drives by McDonalds as promised. She’s back in a little over half an hour to see you dozing. It warms her heart to see her precious baby sleeping.

“Come on, little one, mommy brought your food,” she says, shaking you gently. You open your eyes and push yourself up off of the bed some. “Let’s get you comfy,” she helps you find a position that isn’t too uncomfortable for your aching rear, then hands you your food. “What do we say?” she asks.

“Thank you,” you say with a french fry in your mouth. She smiles. The mommy will come back later. She won’t push it for tonight.

“Do you wanna watch some cartoons?” she asks. They always engross you and help you into your littlespace. You nod and she flicks through the TV until she finds one she knows you like.

You both eat in relative silence, watching the TV. At least you’re not trying to cower anymore. That’s good, right? Progress? She hopes so.

“I’m gonna use the potty,” she tells you, then gets up. You don’t notice her bring the package with her as does.

When she returns, you notice something different about her, but you can’t tell what. It’s a small difference, then. Maybe she just fixed her hair. She’s smiling though.

You’re finished with your food soon enough, and the show ends shortly after.

“Let’s get you in the bath now baby, hm?” she suggests. You feel gross anyways, so you nod. She unties you and scoops you up in her arms.

“Let me down!” you squirm.

“Hush now, like mommy told you, I’m gonna take care of everything. Gonna show you you can trust me again,” she says. You squirm all the way to the bathroom anyways. She sets you down on the toilet facing the wall, almost straddling it.

“Huh?” you ask.

“It’s less pressure on your little bottom,” she explains. You nod and use the toilet while she gets the tub ready, but when you go to get some toilet paper, Natasha beats you to it. “I’ve got it, baby,” she says, wiping your tender area gently. You wince and try to get away from her.

“Stop it, I’m not a baby!” you try to grab her hand and move it, but she stays still, unmoving.

“Come on, little one. I know you’re in there. I know you want to let mommy take care of you,” she says. You shake your head. “Baby, this is about me proving to you that you can trust me to take care of you,” her voice is even. “I want you to choose to let me prove it to you. That’s why I haven’t given you any of the medicine I used to. But that doesn’t mean I won’t. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you to believe how much I care about you again,” she says.

“But—“ you don’t know what you were planning on saying. “But I wanna do it myself. I can do it myself,” your voice is quiet as you lose your grip on her wrist, barely audible.

“That’s the thing, precious,” she steps closer to you, finishing her task and then using her other hand to pet your head. “I know you can do it. But you don’t have to. That’s why I’m here,” she says. You groan and lean forward on the toilet tank. “Come on, you’ll feel better when you’re clean,” she picks you up and sets you in the tub, then flushes the toilet.

You sigh and let her bathe you. Your body is too sore from getting dragged and caned to wash yourself that effectively anyways. When she gets to your most sensitive areas though, you squirm away from her and reach for the soap.

“It’s too sore. I wanna wash it myself,” you say quietly.

“I’m gonna be so careful, you won’t even notice,” she gently moved your hand away and got the soap again. Tears brimmed in your eyes and your bottom lip started to form a pout. “No, baby, don’t cry,” she gasps, petting your cheek. “Tell mommy what’s going on,” she says.

“I’m scared,” you say. “I don’t want you to touch it because you hurt me,” you say. Her heart breaks again.

“Okay, sweetie, how about this: we can do it together,” she takes your hand and puts it over hers, then begins to wash you gentler than ever. Your breathing hitches and your heart kicks up, but it’s over before it can go into full-blown panic.

“All done. You did such a good job, little one,” she praises you. “Ready to get out, or do you want to play in the water some?” she asks.

“Ready to get out,” you say. She picks you up out of the bath and dries you off with a soft towel before taking you out to the bed. She pulls on a soft shirt, leaving your bottom half uncovered so as not to irritate it. She changes into the spare pjs she keeps down here and crawls into bed beside you. You don’t welcome or recoil from her touch, which she’ll take as progress.

Her chest is still dully aching, but she knows she’s pushed you far enough for tonight. Maybe tomorrow she’ll be able to coax you into it.

—

When day comes again, Natasha is treating you the way she did when she first brought you down here, only with gentleness and tenderness where there was hardness and strictness before. The lack of the sedative drugs in your system makes it more difficult, but she’s able to maneuver your squirming form through the daily ritual of getting up, using the toilet, getting dressed, brushing your hair and teeth, and finally breakfast. Whenever she can, she has you laying on your stomach on the bed, and this is one thing you don’t protest.

You notice her shifting in discomfort the whole morning though, and despite how much you dislike her at the moment, you hate to see her in pain. You work up the courage to ask after a while of watching cartoons.

“Are you hurt?” you ask.

“I… well, I have a side effect from a treatment I had done that’s causing me discomfort,” she admits.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “That sucks.”

“There’s a way you can help me,” she says, sounding more timid than you’ve heard her maybe ever before.

“What is it?” you ask. To your confusion, she started to unbutton her shirt, and then she unclips her bra, but from the top? What?

“Huh?” you blurt out.

“I’m lactating,” she says simply, squeezing her nipple a little, causing a drop of what can only be breast milk to come of it.

“I—what do you want me to do about it?” you ask, dumbfounded.

“They hurt because they’re too full,” she explains. “And it would be really helpful if you would, well… empty them. I don’t have a breast pump, of course,” she says.

“Wait, like, you want me to—to drink your milk?” you’re turning bright red. Even after everything you’ve done with her, you’re almost unbearably embarrassed.

“Yes, baby, it would really help me, plus I think that you’ll like it. And it could help us…feel closer,” she chooses her words carefully, gauging your reaction.

“It’s kinda weirding me out,” you say honestly.

“Just try it, please, baby? It’ll help me feel so much better. And I promise, if you hate it after a little while then I’ll get a pump,” she crosses her fingers behind her back.

“I… okay,” you say. This whole situation is so absurd you can hardly bother trying to resist it. She smiles and adjusts the both of you to where you can reach her breast.

It’s not like you haven’t had her tits in your mouth before. You’re not sure why you’re so nervous right now. Natasha gently puts a hand on the back of your head and pushes you a little closer. You wrap your mouth around her nipple hesitantly, unsure of what to do.

“It’s like your bottle, sweetheart,” she senses your confusion. You tentatively begin sucking, and you’re surprised by the flow of milk into your mouth. You jerk back, but Natasha keeps your head in place, groaning in relief.

When the initial shock wears off, you realize she was right—you do like it. It’s warm and sweet, and the sucking action soothes you. You relax a little.

“That’s a good baby for mommy,” Natasha says gently, stroking your head with her thumb on the hand supporting you. “Do you like mommy’s milkies?” she asks. You nod, slipping into littlespace quickly as you drink from her. “Is it yummy?” she asks out of her own curiosity. You nod, not wanting to stop to answer. She chuckles. “It’s all yours, little one.”

She moves you to her other breast when you’ve finished, looking down and noticing that her other one is indeed smaller, and it certainly feels better now. You clutch at her gently to get a good angle, and her heart swells. She’s so glad this worked, but then again, Wanda’s advice has yet to fail her, so she shouldn’t be surprised.

When you finish, your eyelids are droopy and you nuzzle into her willingly, a rarity even before she fucked everything up. She pets you gently.

“Sleepy, little one?” she asks you softly. You nod. “Want a nap?” she asks. You nod again. Between your body being exhausted already and the soothing effects of her milk, she’s not surprised you’re already tired even though you’ve only been awake for a few hours. “Let mommy check your bottom, okay?” she turns you on your tummy. You’re healing nicely. “Do you want a blankie? I think it won’t hurt,” she says. You nod and she covers you with a blanket.

“Mommy stay,” you say when she gets up. And how is she supposed to argue with that? The answer is, she isn’t, so after she turns the lights off, he curls up next to you and holds you close.

“Mommy’s here, little one,” she assures you, finding your favorite stuffie and handing it to you. “Mommy will always be here, don’t you worry.”

[beyondspaceandstars]

One shot | Bucky | Fluffy: 1 , 9 | Angst: 5 , 6 | w/ a happy ending

I kinda wanted to make it a challenge, and I thought these prompts were the most interesting! If you do choose to do it, I hope you have fun! Have a great day ❤️

Pizza With a Side of Confessions

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: N/A, bit fluff, bit angst

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: thank you so so much for requesting! this also include in the second ask you sent i did see it and make note of it! you certainly did give me a challenge here this one took some real mapping out to complete but i think i got it i hope i checked off all the boxes :)

Masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You had sworn the knock on your door was going to be from your date. The sleazy, creepy date you had just rejected on the stoop of your apartment building.

He had ended up being the complete opposite of what he appeared to be online. Through text messages, he seemed caring and kind. Interested in you. But then when you two met… He hands kept groping. Wandering. Caressing. You had begged him to stop in the restaurant which he eventually did after he walked you home, something you only agreed to to keep the peace, he began working on you again and you had to put your foot down, forbidding the night from going further.

He didn’t look too happy about your attitude which made you assume when that knock landed on your door, it was him and he was coming back for revenge. You had grabbed the first knife you could find and quickly pulled the door open, ready to hopelessly defend yourself…

But as you blinked back the tears cascading down your face, welling in your eyes, you saw a familiar pair of blue eyes along with a familiar frown.

"Bucky?" You sniffled, still pointing the knife at your best friend’s chest.

"Hey, doll," Bucky said, cautiously. He was standing as still as he could while also balancing a pizza box in his arms. "Do you… Do you maybe want to drop the knife, like, right now?"

You shook yourself out of your daze, quickly pulling the knife away from him. He visibly relaxed but his expression was cold, serious, as it took in your upset form. You brought the back of your hand to your face trying to get rid of the tears but they just wouldn’t stop.

"I-I’m sorry," you mumbled as you stepped away from the doorway, letting Bucky into the apartment. He immediately abandoned the pizza on your kitchen counter and turned to you, brows furrowing in waves of worry.

"What happened?" He asked — well, more like growled. If a man could growl. He truly sounded beyond angry which made you jump a bit. Bucky must’ve noticed because he immediately took a step back and tried recomposing himself. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you it’s just — seeing you cry — I need to know, whose ass am I kicking now."

You let out a light laugh at that, seeing his such protective side. You and Bucky had formed quite an interesting friendship over time. When you two first met, he loved bickering with you, teasing you here and there about anything and everything. You’d be the bud of the joke with him and while you tried not to let it bother you, admittedly, it had very quickly gotten quite annoying. Eventually, he seemed to just abandon the act and while you were cautious, you welcomed the newfound friendship — Lord knows those were hard to come across in adulthood.

Bucky has been an amazing friend to you ever since. Maybe even a little too amazing because over time you couldn’t deny some feelings had begun to form. But in your eyes, there could be no way such a handsome, funny man was going to be as interested in you. You tried to suppress it and instead just taught yourself to enjoy his little acts of kindness.

"I-I went on another date tonight," you sighed, setting the knife back in its holder. You leaned against the counter, opposite of Bucky. His arms were folded, waiting. "I and this guy had been texting for a while and… and I really thought he was great, I truly did, but then when we met he just made me so uncomfortable. All touchy, feely… Just making my skin crawl, even now." You sighed, dropping your gaze to the kitchen floor. "I told him I wasn’t interested after he walked me home and he didn’t seem very happy about it so… When you knocked, I thought it was him trying to get into my apartment."

You felt like such a fool explaining the situation. Despite this being Bucky and knowing, at some capacity, he wasn’t going to hold it over you, it was still embarrassing. You seemed to be constantly going on these dates trying to find a partner and time after time you came up disappointed. And Bucky would always be there to pick up the pieces.

When you looked back up at your friend, you found he was studying you closely. He was sure taking a while to respond but, then again, what more could he say? You felt he probably had grown exhausted trying to comfort you after these failed dates.

And it seemed your suspicions had been confirmed — but not in a way you could have ever seen coming.

Bucky cleared his throat as if he was preparing. You took a deep breath, ready for whatever blow he was about to serve. Would he yell at you? Would he give some speech on his disappointed he is? Beg you to delete the apps? Would he—

"Maybe you just shouldn’t be going on those dates anymore."

"Huh?" You frowned.

Bucky sighed. "You can’t keep putting yourself through this."

"But how else will I find someone to date? I’m not getting any younger here, Buck."

He turned away suddenly. You heard him let out a deep sigh. Your heart was pounding loudly in your ears.

"You could maybe start by looking at the man in front of you."

Your jaw just about hit the floor. "B-Bucky—"

But there was no stopping him as he went in for the declaration. "Remember when we first met and I used to tease you relentlessly? At the time, did it ever cross your mind that maybe, just maybe, I didn’t hate you? That I wasn’t doing it out of spite? I was doing it because I was nervous. Here waltzes in this amazing, beautiful woman, and I-I didn’t know what to do. I was falling for you and I couldn’t stop it. Hell, I’m still falling for you. Every day, darling. Every goddamn day." He paused, shaking his head. "I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear tonight but I can’t sit here any longer watching you get taken advantage of by the men in this city. I’m sorry it’s coming out like this but I think you needed to hear it. I apologize for that but I won’t apologize for loving you."

You didn’t know what to do. All you could focus on was Bucky’s pleading eyes and the tears forming in your own. But they were coming on for a good reason this time. They weren’t wasted tears over an uncomfortable date. They were tears of relief.

"Do-Do you really mean all that?" You finally asked.

Bucky nodded. "Every word."

In a spontaneous move, you pushed yourself away from the counter and took determined strides towards Bucky. You threw your arms around his waist, burying your face in his shirt. It took Bucky a second to react but you eventually felt his arms snake around you.

"I love you, too, Buck," you mumbled into his chest. You felt his body shake as he chuckled.

"You sure, doll?"

You nodded. "I’ve loved you for a while, too. I just never thought you’d ever…"

"Stop," Bucky said. "Don’t say anymore. Whatever you thought, it’s not true. I have always loved you."

You pulled away from his chest, putting some distance between you two but keeping your arms locked around him. He was looking down at you with a great mixture of relief and adornment on his face. You couldn’t help but smile. You felt the same.

"I can’t believe this," you giggled. "So are we… Are we like…"

Bucky laughed. "I think we need a date first."

You gasped, happily. "A date?"

He nodded then untangled himself from you. You watched as Bucky walked over to the forgotten pizza. "How about pizza and a movie?"

You looked between Bucky and the pizza box. "Bucky, do you want to explain why you were at my door with a pizza?"

Realization flashed across Bucky’s face. "I-I didn’t come here expecting a date or anything, I swear. I stopped by because… well, I didn’t know you had your date and thought at the very least we could hang out. I even got your favorite."

You smiled, stalking over to the pizza. "Pepperoni and jalapeños?"

Bucky scoffed. "I did say I got your favorite, didn’t I?"

You let out a cheerful squeal as you hugged Bucky again, throwing your arms around his neck. He leaned into you and it all felt natural, like the stars in the sky had finally aligned.

You broke away and said, "You take the pizza and find a movie. I’ll grab some plates."

Bucky agreed and you two broke into your separate tasks, eventually coming back together to sit on your living room couch. At first, though, you two just kind of stood there, the smell of pizza wafting between you two. You weren’t just sitting on the couch to watch a movie — you were sitting down, on a date, to watch a movie.

But you were tired of being so hesitant and running into wrongs after wrongs. You were taking this opportunity. You sat on the couch and patted the spot right next to you. Once Bucky sat down, you got a bit bolder and threw his arm over you, allowing you to cuddle into him. He was a bit tense at first but soon eased up, welcoming you to invade his space.

Bucky had decided on some action movie but you didn’t particularly care about it. All you could focus on was the fact you were cuddling with Bucky while eating pizza. It was a date. A real date where the touching felt natural and you weren’t scared of saying the wrong thing. Had you really been so blind?"

The emotions and questions within you were building quickly. You needed a way to break it, to distract yourself. You landed on your sad, silly humor to save the day.

"Hey, Buck," you mumbled as the car on screen blew up or something. You didn’t know, you just shifted closer into Bucky — if that was even possible. His hold on you got tighter.

"Yeah, doll?"

"Remember when I pulled a knife on you? That’s crazy. Who would’ve guessed a little civilian like myself could hold a knife to the Winter Soldier and live to tell the tale." You were well aware that you were rambling now, the roller coaster of a night catching up to you, but Bucky didn’t seem to mind.

The laughter that escaped him was like music to your ears. His body shook beneath you as he comically laughed at your ridiculous comment.

“You drive me up the wall sometimes, darling," Bucky mumbled back once he had calmed down.

You giggled, "Better get used to it."

"Yeah," he sighed, "I guess I better."

[likeahorribledream]

On The Run

Request: ''I had a bad dream'' with Steve Rogers. - @fangirllife98

Summary: After the incidents from Civil War, you and Steve are on the run together.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader / Nomad!Steve x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warning: Nothing triggering, I think? I suck at warnings. There isn't any physical description for the reader.

Notes at the end.

+ This is not proofread, I apologize in advance for all the mistakes you're about to see.

Steve Rogers had been your friend since he had come out of the ice. You used to work for SHIELD but you were neither an agent or an Avenger, you worked in the medical field and you had been hired to monitor Steve’s health until he woke up and after. You spent a lot of time with him and quickly became close friends. You both have very similar personalities and it made it very easy to get along. He could spend hours talking to you about his life from before and he could listen to you for hours as you tried to explain to him everything that was new and different.

He loved that you weren’t an agent or an Avenger, it allowed him to have his own little escape from that part of his life whenever it got to be too much. You were, and still are, one of his best friends and he trusts you with his life.

When he decided to go look for Bucky, he wanted you to come with him. In case Bucky needed medical help, you were the only person he’d trust around his childhood best friend. Of course, you went with him. You had listened to Steve tell you hundreds of stories about the trouble he’d get into with his friend, Bucky was too important for him to refuse to go look for him with Steve.

You hadn’t expected to become fugitives of the law, yet here you are a year later; running and hiding with Captain America.

Steve brought Bucky to Wakanda so that he could heal and understand what exactly happened to him, when he came back the feud between him and Tony was far from being over and since he went against the Sokovia Accords, he found himself on the other side of the law and since you had helped him, you were considered an accomplice and were on the ‘’wanted’’ list next to Steve’s name. Tony could have gotten them out of it but when Steve chose Bucky over him, he decided to let him fend for himself. Steve had given you a choice; he could get you a place to live in another country where you’d be safe from the authorities or you could stay with him but that meant you would have to constantly be on the move.

You’d much rather be constantly on the move with your friend, than staying in one place in a country you didn’t know without being able to see him for who knows how long, the choice had been very simple and easy for you.

After a year, the heat had died down and it allowed you to stay in one place for longer periods of time. Steve had grown a beard and let his hair get longer, it made it harder for people to recognize him. Not a lot of people knew what you look like, but you decided to dye your hair from time to time just in case someone might recognize you.

A few days ago, you and Steve went back to New York. It’s Steve’s safe place and it’s so crowded, it makes it hard for anyone to recognize either of you. Steve had found a shady motel in a shady part of town that accepted to be paid in cash, no IDs required and no questions asked. You each had a room, a door connected them and you always left it opened just to keep an eye on each other.

It’s hard to sleep. You haven’t had a single good night of sleep since you left with Steve, you were scared that if you fell into too deep of a sleep, you wouldn’t hear if someone came for you.

Tonight is your third night in a row at this motel, you were tired of eating food from the vending machines so you decided to go get some takeouts for dinner. Steve doesn’t like when you go out on your own but it was too risky for him to go with you, that’s why you mainly ate food from vending machines. After dinner, you took showers in your respective rooms. After your shower, you put on a pair of sweats and a tank top and sat on your bed, waiting for Steve to join you to watch a movie.

‘’Come on, old man.’’ You called out towards his room.

He was taking his time and you were anxious to get the movie started.

His head poked out from his bathroom door, his hair completely drenched.

‘’That nickname wasn’t funny years ago when you used it for the first time, and it’s not funny now.’’

You laughed and pointed at your smile. ‘’Speak for yourself, I personally think it’s funny.’’

He rolled his eyes.

‘’Come on, Stevie. I’m tired.’’

Steve squinted as he looked at the alarm clock on your nightstand. ‘’It’s barely 8:30. How am I the old man here?’’

‘’You were born at the beginning of the 1900s, I was born at the end of the 1900s thus making you old.’’

‘’Well, give me 5 minutes and I’ll be right there. You can start the movie, I’ll still be able to hear it from here.’’ He told you, going back into the bathroom but leaving the door slightly opened.

You did as he said, you pressed play on the movie you had chosen earlier and sat with your back against the headboard, pillows behind you to make it more comfortable.

Five minutes later, Steve emerged from the bathroom and sat down next to you. He lifted his arm to let you snuggle up against his body and then laid it on your back, his hand resting on your hip.

Movie night always meant cuddle time.

Though you loved Steve with all of your heart and he loved you with all of his, the last few months had started to get rough for the both of you. You had never realized how much you were fond of hugs and human touch until you couldn’t do either. You came to a mutual understanding that, to keep your sanity, you would have cuddle time and it had sincerely helped better both of your moods.

Once the movie was over Steve turned off the TV, gave you a kiss on your forehead and went back to his room for the night. As soon as the lights were off, you fell asleep.

You were woken up a few hours later by something touching your foot above your covers. You quickly opened your eyes and relaxed when you saw Steve standing at the foot of your bed.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ Your voice was barely audible as you were still half asleep.

‘’I- I had a bad dream. Really bad. Can I stay with you?’’ He whispered.

You could hear how anxious he was and that woke you up. You grabbed the covers that were around your shoulders and lifted them up. Steve quickly walked around the bed and joined you, settling under the sheets. You waited until he was completely laid down and lowered the covers on top of both of your bodies.

‘’Are you ok?’’ You whispered.

You were laying on your side, facing him while he was laying on his back, looking at the ceiling. He turned his head and looked at you. His eyes were looking at every detail of your face, trying to burn this image of you into his brain so he’d never forget how beautiful you looked in this exact moment.

Steve’s had a crush on you since the first day he met you. At first he didn’t think too much of it, thinking it was just because you were the first woman he’d seen in over 70 years. Then, you two became really close friends and his feelings only got stronger throughout the years but he was going through a lot and he didn’t think it was fair of him to drag you into his problems so he decided to wait before telling you how he felt. He was finally gathering up the courage around the time Bucky resurfaced and before he knew it the two of you were on the run and he was terrified to confess his feelings to you and that you’d reject him. You two literally only had each other, he couldn’t risk ruining your friendship. Not when it was the only thing keeping the both of you completely sane.

You were both so oblivious, it was almost painful. Steve thought he’d ruin your friendship by telling you how he felt and you were keeping your very similar feelings to yourself because you didn’t think you were good enough for Steve Rogers, America’s Golden Boy. Though you tried not to let it show, you were a very insecure person and you barely felt like you were good enough to be friends with him, there’s no way he’d ever see you as girlfriend material.

‘’I don’t think I am.’’ He finally answered, whispering too.

He laid on his side to face you. It was pitch black in your room, but street lamps outside still managed to peak out from between the blinds, allowing you to see Steve’s face a little better. Whereas with his enhanced everything, Steve could see you very clearly.

‘’What do you need?’’ You asked softly.

‘’You.’’ He answered without hesitation.

You had one hand tucked under your head and you reached out to the other one, brushing your fingers against his jawline soothingly.

‘’I’m right here.’’

He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the gentle touch on his jaw. When he opened his eyes again, he reached out over to you to wrap his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his chest. You were so close to him that you had to tilt your head back to be able to look at him while he had to look down. You moved your hand to the back of his head and played with his hair that was still a little damp from his shower earlier.

‘’Do you want to talk about your dream?’’ You offered knowing that sometimes talking about it helped him.

He shook his head no, his eyes on you and never looking away.

‘’I don’t want to talk.’’

His hand that rested at the small of your back was now moving up to cup the side of your face, using his thumb to gently stroke your cheek.

Somehow, Steve’s face felt closer than it had a few seconds ago. Your heart started racing and you were sure he could hear it. His thumb moved down, the pad of his finger brushed over your lower lip a few times. It sent shivers down your spine. Steve leaned down a little more, his thumb going back to rest on your cheek. His eyes kept flickering between your lips and your eyes. He was ready to stop at any sign of you being uncomfortable. He gently brushed his nose against yours and when you didn’t pull away, he finally kissed you.

Your eyes fluttered shut and you felt your cheeks heat up. Steve didn’t leave you enough time to kiss him back, as he pulled away quickly. Your eyes opened, scared to see the regret on his face but instead all you could see was how nervous he was.

‘’Is this ok?’’

You nodded as an answer, not trusting your voice to function properly. He quickly closed the gap between the two of you, this time giving you a chance to kiss him back. Both your eyes were closed, his thumb started moving on your cheek again and your hand that was in his hair slowly slid down his neck, then his chest to finally move under his arm and rest on his back. The kiss was slow, as if Steve was afraid to hurt you, but you both could feel all the emotions and feelings that you hadn’t had the courage to confess being put into this kiss. He pulled back, just enough to give you a chance to breathe. Both the kiss and how loved you felt leaving you a little breathless.

He looked at you and waited until you opened your eyes. The look in his eyes made your breath hitched in your throat. He had so much love in his eyes that you thought your heart was going to melt in your chest. He rested his forehead against yours, kissing the tip of your nose.

‘’You.’’ He echoed his thoughts from earlier. His voice was barely audible but he was so close that you could hear him perfectly. ‘’I just need you.’’

I am a big sucker for Nomad!Steve, look at that glorious beard!

I hope this wasn't too cringey. This was my FIRST TIME writing a kissing scene, so please be kind. I know it was probably really bad, I'm sorry!

Thank you to my dear @fangirllife98 for requesting this. I hope you liked it and that it fed your little Steve hunger for the day.

[Taglist: @n3ssm0nique | @lover-of-bucky | @beingagodsucks ]

If you want to be added to a taglist; Bucky taglist, Steve taglist, Missing Piece taglist, Blood Moon taglist or just the general taglist just let me know in the comments or DM me.

[tendousthoughts]

HQ Boys Calling Their S/O Clingy Pt. 1

Character(s) included: Iwaizumi and Ushijima

Warnings: slight cursing

A/N: so imma try to make this look really pretty and shit. But if you want a pt 2 just put it in my ask box + what characters you want next! So I don’t know what to call this format thingy but anything with the line next to it (like now) is what happened the day before (when they called their s/o clingy) and everything not in that day won’t be! I also just ate like five airhead lmao. Well enjoy! Reblogs & follows are greatly appreciated! My ask box is always open to request, and if you wanna talk or just wanna say something! Please don’t laugh at my grammatical or spelling errors, I’m sorry!

My Masters List: here

My series : here

Credit: @/teesumu

Iwaizumi

When he came home all you wanted to do was hug him. It had been almost a week since he had gotten his new job. He was stressed all the time and never had time for you two alone. So what if you want just hug him for a bit.. you deserve that much right just that much of his time? So he walked in, and your eyes lit up... he was one of the few people you felt safe around. You ran up to him with a big smile and that goofy lovable personality of yours.

“Dinner is ready and then we can cuddle and maybe watch a movie. I have it all planned out!” You smile laughing a bit just imagining how fun it will be. He doesn’t look so amused though.

“I ate already and I am going to bed, y/n.” He didn’t even give you a second to process what he had said instead he just walked away. You follow him to the room you share smiling.

“Oh okay! We can just cuddle then!” You smile a bit and hop onto the bed next to him. Wrapping your arms tightly around him, not too tight, just perfect, you smile. Till you are shoved off. He looked at you with pure annoyance.

“Y/n, can you stop being so fucking clingy. You never stop trying to touch me,” He screamed and you just sat there with tears. God damnit. He was right, wasn’t he? You never gave him space. He turned his back and you turned away too. The tears silently fell.

The morning came faster than it should have. By the time he was awake you were out of the room. He got up and walked out and entered the kitchen.

“Morning y/n, I have the day off so we can do anything you want,” he smiled as he walked in, yet you weren’t there. He searched the whole house and you weren’t there. An hour passed and you walked in.

“Uh hey y/n.. where’d you go? I mean like you weren’t there when I woke up, love?” He smiled and you just gave a soft smile.

“Oh.. um I just went for a random drive for some coffee and drove nowhere for like twenty minutes,” you lied. You love doing that but to be honest you were talking to Oikawa for a bit and ranting to him.

“Oh um.. I have the day off if you just wanna hang out? Maybe go for dinner or something?” He smiles hopefully.

“Uh sure..” you sat far from him on the couch as the movie started. He looked at you and you tried not to pay attention.

“Uh do you need something?” You turn towards him.

“Oh um.. no, never mind,” he looks back at the tv confused. He wanted to cuddle yet was too embarrassed to say so.

Thirty minutes passed by and you were quite distant. “Um do you wanna cuddle or something..?” He smiles hopefully.

“I’m good thanks for asking,” you remain glaring at the tv.

“Um y/n is everything okay.. you’ve been really distant and I know you went to Oikawa’s place yet you told me otherwise..” he looks at you.

You freeze looking at him again, you look like a deer in headlights. Frozen and shocked. You say the first thing that comes to mind which is extremely dumb. “Uh I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You helplessly smile.

He looks at you, shocked. You were a terrible liar yet you still tried to, “why are you lying? I know you were there just tell me.”

“Last night I was thinking that you are right. I am too clingy and I need to give you some space,” you keep your on him “This morning you weren’t up and I just felt like talking so I decided to head out and not bug you.” Your voice breaks as tears roll down your cheeks. Wiping them away quickly hoping he doesn’t notice but it is already too late.

“Y/n... I didn’t mean it,” he feels like absolute shit right now and he doesn’t know what to do. “I..I like how you cling to me and how you just act like yourself. I..I love the sound of your voice so you can always talk to me. I didn’t mean for me to come off so rude to you and hurt you... you mean everything to me. I am so sorry y/n for making you so fucking uncomfortable. This is your house too and I shouldn’t do that to you...” he whispers holding your hands in his as he pulls you closer. Lifting you to his lap.

You try to climb off but his grip just gets tighter in a protective way.

“I’m sorry y/n... I didn’t mean any of that. I will make more room for us to hang out...” He smiles a bit wrapping his arms around your waist. “I love you so much..”

“I..I love you too,” you make out in between heavy deep breaths

Ushijima

You tried to call him multiple times, it was extremely late and you were worried. He normally would text you if he was going to practice a bit longer or he was going to head to dinner with his team. Knowing how worried you get and not wanting you to make him a whole meal when he is full. Yet he never picked up it was probably twelve thirty when he walked in.

He tried to walk in silently but soon found you awake in bed. You smile a bit getting up and giving him a hug. “Hey baby..” you mumble with your sleepy voice “where were you? I was worried sick,” you didn’t sound mad, just concerned. 

He slightly shoved you off making his way to his dresser to change. “Out.” He grumbled a bit.

“Are you hungry? I made dinner..” you smile slightly making your way closer to him.

“Can you just leave me alone? I don’t need you to be so god damn clingy! You’re not my mom and I am a grown ass adult. I don’t need you to stay up wondering where I was!” He took a deep breath calming down. You slowly backed down and just laid at your side of the bed closing your eyes. Slightly thinking about all the “problems” you have.

Morning came and when Ushijima woke up he was later than usual needing to rush a couple of things. You were on the couch, as he came in he looked for something to eat. “Y/n, do you know if there is anything I can eat?” He called out.

“I don’t know you can look, can’t you?” You look up from your computer for a split second before returning to gaze at your computer.

“Uh.. ya. Well bye!” He grabbed a banana and grabbed his stuff. Rushing out the door unsure what had possibly made you so harsh that morning. Forgetting everything he had said the night before.

When he came home it was early and you were already eating while using your phone. “I’m home!” He called.

You just smiled and returned eating. Your eyes locked on back onto your phone. Typing for a second.

“Who are you texting babe?” He smiled as he walked in.

“No one” you put your phone down. The sound of a text came up but you just ignored it walking to put your dishes away and then grabbing your phone to go back to your room.

“Uh.. y/n? You wanna hang out for a bit?” You turn and just shake your head.

“No I’m good thanks though.” You mumble before walking away. Him following close after.

“Are you okay..?” He mumbles as he joins you in bed.

“Ya. I’m fine,” you mumble as you plot your headphones in listening to some music.

He taps your shoulder and you take out one of your earbuds. “What’s going on.. what did I do?” He mumbled.

“I mean I am not your mother so I don’t understand why you need me to hang out with you and be your best friend. I mean I am just too clingy aren’t I?” You burst out.

“What?” He looks at you for a moment remembering the night before. “Wait y/n.. I didn’t me-”

“I don’t care if you didn’t mean it! You made me feel like absolute shit!” You look at him before getting up and heading to the spare room. “You can leave and go out. I don’t give a fuck just leave me alone for a bit.”

He goes to check on you two hours later. When he walks in he finds you crying. “Y/n, can we talk?” He whispered softly in his calming voice.

You look up wiping your tears. “I guess.”

“May I sit on the bed or would you like some space..?” He really didn’t want to make you feel worse then you probably already did.

“I don’t care do what you want,” it wasn’t like you to be so snappy. But you just wanted to get it out of your system. He sat down next to you and slowly reached out his arms. You slowly entered his embrace as he held you tight whispering sweet nothingness into your ear. His words are full of praise and truth.

“I am so sorry I made you feel like that. I should have texted you back. I know that you were just worried,” he rubbed your back slowly, making soft circles. “I don’t find you clingy.. and I like when you take care of me. You mean the world to me and I am sorry I made you think otherwise..”

Follows and likes are appreciated! Please reblog if you enjoyed it so more people can find my work! Thank you all for your support! Stay safe, and have a good rest of your day!

[lis-likes-fics]

Lonely

Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x Reader Warnings: Uh, angst and loneliness Author’s Note: Idk, enjoy!

You were in the living room of the compound, reading a book and enjoying the company of Elijah next to you, reading his own. Suddenly, Klaus came walking into the room, a smirk plastered on his face.

When you looked up and saw the look, you rolled your eyes, dropping the book. "What did you do this time, Klaus?"

He gave you a look, "Whatever do you mean?" Elijah, not looking up from his book, answered, "The last time you looked like that, we found you painting with the blood of a vampire who gave you the wrong look."

He smirked, remembering the time and commenting, "The perfect shade I needed for my piece." You rolled your eyes and said, "What did you do?"

Klaus simply answered, "I am simply going on a little trip out of town for a few days."

"To do what?" Elijah questioned, finally looking up from his book. Klaus shrugged, "A small getaway. A vacation, if you will."

You narrowed your eyes and he put his hands up in innocence. He wasn't lying. You knew that much.

"We could make it a family thing." He added. Elijah simply answered, "That is not a vacation, Niklaus, that is a death sentence."

"Don't be so dramatic, brother." He told him in reply, "What do you say, Mikaelsons on vacation."

Elijah looked over at you and turned back to his brother, narrowing his eyes. "Just a vacation?"

Klaus raised his hand in a scout's honor, "You have my word. Rebekah, Kol, and Freya have already agreed."

Elijah hesitated before nodding, "Why not?" He closed his book and stood. Klaus smirked more, "Excellent."

Elijah turned to you, offering his hand and asking, "Come pack with me?"

You smiled and stood, giving him a quick kiss and saying, "As much as I would love to, this is a Mikaelson Vacation. Besides, you and your family need an excuse to have any kind of fun together. I'll stay here."

Elijah gave you a concerned look, asking, "Are you sure you'll be fine by yourself?" You nodded to him, telling him not to worry, "I'm a big girl."

He smiled at you and leaned in, giving you a kiss. Klaus rolled his eyes, leaving the room.

~

The next day, the Mikaelsons were off, leaving you alone at the compound. Ten minutes in, you found that reading wasn't going to cut it.

Elijah's concern was correctly placed, he wanted to make sure you were okay by yourself. You really should have planned something for yourself as well.

You couldn't stand being by yourself for too long. To your knowledge, they would be back before the end of the week, and you didn't know how long you would last but you would make due.

An hour after they left, you called your friend to see if she was doing anything.

"Hello?" Cami asked on the other end.

You smiled, "Hey, Cami. Are you doing anything right now?"

She answered, "Working. My break is soon."

You asked, "You think you could hang after?"

She responded, "Yeah, think so. I'll text you if anything comes up."

You smiled, "Awesome, I'll meet you there then."

Later then, you met Cami at Rousseau's. She smiled among seeing you and, for an hour, you enjoyed your time with your friend by talking about a subject that didn't concern vampires or werewolves or witches.

After, she went back to work and you were left by yourself again.

You walked the compound. It was empty, silent, and deserted. It was uncomfortable for you, but you assumed you'd manage. After all, you'd grown up in a house with people who seemed to ignore you all the time. You were used to being by yourself, you just didn't like to be. Yeah, that's it.

The time came for bed and you found yourself in your shared bedroom with Elijah, cuddling up in his bed. You found comfort in the familiar surroundings, but it was strange for it to be empty. To have his spot next to you empty.

You grabbed one of his pillows and hugged it tightly as you eventually fell asleep.

You woke up, still by yourself. The deathly silence deafening.

~

The next few days passed slowly and painfully. You spent whatever time you could with friends, but found that most of them were busy. So you were by yourself most of that time.

Elijah called a few times and he stayed on the phone with you for a while. He'd only really stopped talking when one of his siblings would pull him to do something with them. He'd hang up and you'd end up by yourself again.

It was so lonely.

You couldn't handle it as much as you'd hoped. You found yourself pacing the room and talking to yourself as if there was someone there.

It was hard being by yourself. You rather enjoyed being in a house full of vampires because at least there were people around you. It kept your crippling fear of being alone at bay.

That night you went to bed, clutching Elijah's pillow to you. After a while, you eventually fell asleep.

*

You wandered around nothing. There was no other word to describe it. That's what it was. Nothing.

No one was there. There was no sound, no sight, no one. Everything was gone. There was just you by yourself and nothing else.

You called out and you weren't even left with an echo. Just nothing.

"Elijah?" You called. "Hello?"

There was absolutely no response. "Anybody?!"

Nothing. You were alone, by yourself. You were lonely.

You couldn't help but cry. You looked around and you couldn't tell if your eyes were close or not. You couldn't even feel the tears on your face.

You continued to cry and cry. It was tiring but you couldn't sleep. There was nothing to do. There was nothing.

"Please, is anyone there!" You cried out, surrounded by darkness. "Anybody?!"

There was no response. No one was there. Suddenly, you heard your name but you weren't sure if it was real. "Y/N."

You hopelessly cried out, "Yes? Yes! Is anybody there? Please!"

No response.

"Please!"

"Y/N."

"Yes?!"

"Wake up."

*

You found yourself jolting awake, surrounded by the familiar room you'd fallen asleep in. You felt the tears on your face as you caught your breath.

"Y/N." A voice said beside you. You jerked your head over and saw Elijah. You sucked in a breath and pulled him close to you. You cried into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

He shushed you calmly as he calmed you down, slowing your tears and whispering little words to you. "Forgive me." He told you.

You shook your head, "You didn't do anything, 'Lijah."

He shook his head then, "I left you. I should not have done so."

"No, it's not your fault. I just got a little...spooked."

He pulled your head back a little to look in your eyes, "No, you were frightened. I shouldn't have left you alone. I should have stayed."

"No, you needed time with your family."

"You are my family. You are my life. I love you, Y/N, and I will love you always and forever. I promise, I won't leave you alone again. You have my word." He told you, holding you close. He kissed your temple soothingly.

You smiled and buried your face in his chest as you whispered. "I love you, too, Elijah."

Always and Forever taglist: @avala-moon​​ @xxwritemeastoryxx​ @melodiclovesong​ @thebrotherssalvatore321​ @strangerliaa​ @njeancastro316​ @dumble-daddy​

Suit and Staglist: @avala-moon​​ @xxwritemeastoryxx​​ @melodiclovesong​​ @thebrotherssalvatore321​​ @strangerliaa​​ @njeancastro316​​ @dumble-daddy​ @mrs-salvawhore​

[ahjustroza]

Last Legacy Headcanon

💤Sleeping Together💤

(SFW)

Kind of a self insert type of headcanon. So that you beautiful people can imagine yourselves in Anisa’s arms. Or wrapped by Sage’s tail. Or Felix on top of you. Pick your poison ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

✨MC is always gender neutral in this blog✨

Enjoy~

Sage

I feel like in his case you are the little spoon most nights unless you tell him otherwise

He will always face you

Not because he doesn't trust you to turn his back at you

But he has to have you within his eyesight at all times

He wraps his arms around you or lets you wrap him with your arms while he rests his head against your chest.

He is probably the one to sleep on the wall side as well

Meaning, no matter which side you turn he can still cuddle you while keeping an eye on the room, window, or door for any possible threats at night

He won't let you know tho

oh no 

He'll make sure you get your sleep without worrying about anything

He'll worry for you 

Also will make everything so causal as well, unless you ask too many questions about his sleep routine you will never know he guards you even at nights

He'll purr and wrap his tail around your leg each time

He likes to have his tail around your leg 

That way he can pull you even closer and feel your body more

Hair pets are a routine if you are willing

Kisses are also a must

He'll either kiss you on the cheek causally if you are both too tired and need to just lie down or give you longer and more sloppy kisses here and there

Playful on the bed for no one's surprise

Not always for heated follow-up moments if you catch my meaning, but romantic and intimate closeness is always there 

You two are just too comfortable with each other and can lie down any way you want

He just has to feel your presence at all times

Also Sage is a light sleeper in my opinion

He has the potential to sleep like a bear but he also can intentionally sleep light as well

He'll check you each time you move away from him in your sleep

Either with his hands or by opening his eyes slightly

When you wake up for the bathroom or to grasp water he'll sit upright and look where you are going

Maybe ask you half asleep where you go in the middle of the night and if you don't answer he'll get up and follow you to see what you are up to

And he doesn't like walking around half asleep

Some nights he'll hold your arm and make you lay back down and grab you a glass of water himself 

You two are way too comfortable 

You won't mind if he purrs too loud in his sleep or throws one leg on you in his sleep

He also won't mind even if you sleep on top of him, take all the space in bed to yourself, or even drool in your sleep

He also won't mind morning hair or morning breath

He'll kiss you good morning and beg you to make/find breakfast every morning 

Anisa

She actually cares for your sleep schedule a lot more than you do

Anisa is not like the controlling and then lecturing you for not getting enough sleep kind

She instead gives attention to how energic you wake up after long or short sleep every day and calculate how much sleep you need in her head 😌

Everyone's body works differently, some needs more than 8 hours of sleep while others are fine with only 4 hours of sleep

If you sleep less than her she'll make sure to lie down beside you if you like to spend time in bed until you sleep yourself 

She enjoys your company in any way possible

While giving you your space

She'll learn your sleep habits as well

What kind of pillow do you sleep well with

Is it high or low? Hard or soft? What kind of pillowcase do you prefer?

Oh you bet she'll even change the bed with a new one if you are not comfortable with the old one 

She likes to talk to you before going to sleep in the bed too!

She mostly would like to talk about the future of you two in my opinion

Where would you go together or what new things to try...

She'll ask you many questions about your world and home

I can also picture you two just wear your most comfortable pajamas and just be yourselves and really, really enjoy each other

Your pajamas might look ridiculous but have an insane level of comfort 

Like you can wear just a random shirt with a really old coffee (or anything really, maybe soup stain? wine stain? pomegranate stains are a bitch to get rid of as well) stain that is just not going away no matter what you do 

Or you can just wear a potato bag all she cares

She is nonjudgmental 

She accepts you with your everything

And she actually likes it when you be yourself without having a need to look perfect at all times

No

She LOVES it when you just be comfortable around her 

So just be natural

Wear your ugliest socks

She'll still call you gorgeous 🥺

Ah and she'll be comfortable around you as well

She is calm around you

Like really calm

Peaceful

Safe

Her muscles are relaxed as if she were just out of a spa day

You two start off by cuddling but when you both fall asleep it is just a matter of which position do you sleep most comfortable with

She just needs to feel your presence but won't sleep on top of you as Sage does

She might like to just put her arm around your waist in her sleep or sleep close to your body without putting her arms around you

I feel like she won't take a lot of space in bed to herself either

She is good with sharing

If you are a clingy sleeper she is fine with it as well

You can sleep on top of her and she'll caress your cheek before finding herself a comfortable position while not disturbing your sleep while you're still on top of her

She might want you to make a coffee for her in the morning while she takes care of the breakfast most mornings

You are the mighty barista after all 💪

If you don't know how to cook she'll teach you so that you can surprise her with a nice breakfast one day

While she might enjoy drinking her coffee with you in bed, you are not allowed to eat in bed

Felix

Yes.

He is ✨smol and pretty✨ but definitely has the potential to take a lot of space in bed while sleeping

His bed was huge and comfy before he signs to the Starsworns too in my opinion

Filthy rich and with a big comfy bed hmmm

But I also think he will just curl in your arms too so

It is a 50/50 situation with him

You are mostly the big spoon because he is 

a bottom

yea

I don't decide the rules here

He will have a hard time getting comfy sleeping beside you early in the relationship

He is nervous for funny reasons

and adorable

He cares how he looks around you

Also, he is grown up in an almost perfectionist environment. Appearance among the upper class is always important. 

His pajamas are comfortable, most likely silk or something soft 

You have to take the first step to break the uncomfortable walls with him

It is not like Felix is pushing you away or don't want to sleep in the same bed with you

He does

But he is shy and nervous like I said 

Be casual around him, wear your most comfortable pajamas without caring how ridiculous they might look on you 

I am saying this way too much but I don't believe people wear fancy pajamas at all

If they do they belong to jail.

Wear that shirt with Spongebob print that you bought in 8th grade y'all

He'll find it reassuring but will also make comments on your pajamas

Because he is a "quick answerer"

He has a comment for everything 😌

But he'll relax after seeing you being yourself around him without worrying about how you look

Also not making comments about his bed hair or the way he sleeps will help a lot as well

Just be gentle with my sub bottom boy

Caress his hair when you hold him close

Maybe murmur a calming melody while stroking his back 

Just enjoy his presence as much as he does enjoy yours

It is all looking mesmerizing and cute. Just like straight out of a romance movie awe

Holding the love of your life in your arms and feel his warmth

Until he falls asleep.

He is a blanked hog

I am not accepting any opposite commentary about this and baby boy takes all the blanket for himself in my dreams

And you will let him as well. as I do in those dreams

hehe

No, but I am serious.

He will wrap himself with the blanket

If he could breathe easily he would put his head under the blanket as well

Felix does this so that he can feel pressure around him

Something to hold him tight all around

Blanket hogging can be a huge sign of self insecurity and fear of outside factors/ harm coming to them in a sleep state

 People that had a lot of sleep paralysis during their childhood tend to wrap their body with a blanket for the sense of security and sometimes feeling nervous even sleeping on their back

Those people usually sleep sideways or on their stomach 

Felix has traumas and a not too peaceful childhood so I believe he will unconsciously feel like he is not secure in his sleep

I also think he is a heavy sleeper unless he is napping

He is a night owl yes

but it is only half because he doesn't need too much sleep

I think he might feel nervous in the dark. Not afraid, but nervous. 

He saw a war against Lord of Shadows and lost the entire Starsworn 

He also knows necromancy and nighttime rituals

There are also many abominations and monsters in The Last Legacy universe as well. Most likely he fought many during the war

My point is, sleeping is partly torture for Felix without him knowing it

So when he got used to sleeping beside you, he started to feel alive when he woke up

His unconscious told him that he was safe with you

That you would protect him

That you will always be beside him, ready to pull him in your arms

And your scent is a calming factor for him too

He started off by getting more and more clingy with you in his sleep each night

When you hit the final/ 100th Level (the chosen barista: Felix’s hug pillow) with making Felix comfortable in his sleep, he starts sleeping in positions such as curling in your arms, tangling his legs to yours, and getting the blanked all the way up to your necks

Or if you turn your back to him in your sleep, he will sleep either pressing his back to yours and hugging the blanket at the same time or wrap an arm and leg around you with the blanket covering his entire back

On summer nights tho you will have to put your arm around him with a small space between you two to not get sweaty

Or he will not care about the heat and sleep on top of you

He mostly gets lucky with the summer breeze on top of you, but you'll feel super hot beneath his body 

Put your arm around him if you want to sleep

Either way, he wakes up looking healthier each day  

Just seeing how relaxed his shoulders look in the mornings feels heavenly for you

You are good for him

[imagine-that-100]

Good Boy

Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You get your period just before you’re due to go to an award show with the boys. Whilst the pain never dulls when you’re there, your fiancé’s affection certainly eases it and so do his cuddles when he drags you back home. 

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: This was requested by @ghostlightqueen​. Hope you enjoy it and I hope the rest of you do to. This is pretty fluffy and it was so cute to write up. Likes and Reblog are appreciated and as always thank you so much for reading x

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You feeling any better?” Adam asks, after giving you a hug as he joins you back at the table.

You were currently at an award show with the boys that Matty had pleaded with you to come to. You’d not been to one of these events in years and you’d planned not to go to one again.

But this one was a smaller one than the others you’d been to. You weren’t all put on TV at this one and you weren’t in the O2, so you agreed you’d come.

Initially when you got up this morning and saw how excited Matty was to get ready for these awards, you yourself were looking forward to it. You were excited to wear your new teal pant suit that Matty had then designed his own outfit around and you were excited to see your fiancé perform again, even if it was just for one song.

You’d been swamped with work, so you’d unfortunately only made it to one show this tour. But now it was the end of them touring and you had your boys back around you, you were excited to see them up on stage again.

But then an hour before you were due to head off to the awards, your fucking period started.

You sort of knew it was coming because you had that icky feeling in your stomach all day, but you were hoping it was just the sensations you sometimes felt the day before it arrived.

But that was not to be.

You felt awful as the first few days of your period typically left you feeling. The fact you had to go out and wear heels and be nice to people you didn’t know didn’t make the feeling of your insides being scrambled, as you described it to Matty, any easier.

After assuring him you’d be fine after the painkillers had kicked in, you all headed off to the awards. And despite the painkillers barely helping you, you’d had a good night.

You got to see some lovely people you hadn’t seen for a while like the Pale Waves gang and Rome and Bea. You’d become quite good friends with Heather over the years so you always loved seeing her.

And of course, you got to spend the evening with your boys.

They won the award they were up for and they even got an award they didn’t know they were up for, for the Drive Like I Do album. And you had always adored seeing them perform.

Matty had truly grown into the role of a frontman and the way he worked an audience truly astounded you. The way the fans responded to him back when the first album came out astounded you, but the fact the audiences were still just as thirsty for him now made you laugh.

And you knew he loved it and played it to his advantage.

So, after the two songs they were asked to perform were done they slowly but surely made their way back over to you.

“A little, thanks Ad” You smile before sitting back down in your seat.

You weren’t feeling any better at all though, despite taking more painkillers about an hour ago. But thankfully the awards had nearly finished, and you had another lot of painkillers with you to take at the after party.

You knew Matty was excited to go to it as it had been a while since he’d attended one of these events. Especially with all of his friends being invited to come as well.

So, for him, you didn’t mind grin and bearing the pain. Even more so because he dressed himself to match you.

You were in a darker teal pantsuit and you had an orange low cut blouse on underneath it, with a matching pair of orange heels. Believe it or not, the colours did go really well together and immediately when Matty saw you in it he whipped out his casual orange suit, or as casual as an orange suit can get.

He borrowed a teal shirt and he somehow made it work. You probably both looked like muppets with his short mohican and your hair left to naturally fall around your shoulders.

But you both looked fit so you couldn’t care less. He could pull any combination off and always look incredible; you were envious of him in that respect.

But at least you could call him yours.

“How you feeling Sweetheart?” Matty asks coming straight back over to you when he escapes his conversation.

When he caught you routing for painkillers before you changed into your teal suit earlier, he could tell straight away that you didn’t feel well. And he knew exactly the reason why from how you carried yourself.

He was gutted for you because he knew you were excited to dress up for the first time in ages. Matty didn’t mind you not coming, and he said you didn’t have to, but you shot that down straight away.

You knew how much he wanted you there despite him acting like he didn’t. And he was your fiancé so you were going.

“Yeah okay, thank you” You smile and lean in for a quick kiss. “Well done, you were amazing”

He retakes his seat and says, with a concerned look in his eye, “Thank you… Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Promise I’m fine” You lie.

You felt like you were that Mortal Kombat character that had that worm thing bursting out of its chest. But instead of whatever it was bursting out of your chest it was trying to murder your uterus.

Uncomfortable was an understatement and the fact you weren’t drinking was worse. You told Matty you didn’t mind driving tonight as you knew he liked to have a few glasses of wine at these things.

You sort of wish you had the alcohol to dull your pain a bit more but you’d rather Matty have a good time. You’d take Matty’s alcohol induced affection as a distraction over alcohol every single time though.

You adored him so much. You were so glad you were going to marry him.

The day really couldn’t come soon enough.

The fact you were marrying him though was another reason that you didn’t want to ruin his night. Not because you didn’t want to upset him but because you didn’t want to burden him with thinking you wanted to leave when you actually didn’t.

So that was why you kept how you were feeling under wraps. And you managed that into the afterparty but of course when you excused yourself Matty wanted to find you not 2 minutes after you left his side.

He was certain he saw you head out the front. Matty assumed to answer a phone call as you didn’t smoke anymore, and the toilets were in the opposite direction.

So Matty tipsily headed out that way into the foyer of the venue you were in. And he spotted you in that stunning teal suit straight away.

But instead of being stood on your phone looking like an amazingly sassy businesswoman, you were crouched down leaning against a nearby wall with your head in your hands. And that shocked and scared Matty to his core.

He rushed over to you immediately and asked, “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

You head flew up immediately hearing Matty’s voice and Matty managed to take a breath of relief seeing you weren’t crying. You looked fine which confused Matty as he didn’t know why you were leaning against the wall looking like you were in pain.

Oh.

You were in pain.

“Hey” You smile and stand yourself back up on your orange heels. Before he can ask when he gets closer you assure him, ”I’m fine, I’m fine”

“No, you’re not” Matty shakes his head, looking at you with sad eyes.

You nod, trying to persuade him, “I am, I swear”

But Matty knows you better than that.

“What’s wrong?” Matty asks seeing if you’d be honest.

“Nothing’s wrong”

So Matty asks again, “What’s wrong?”

“My stomach is just cramping but I’m fine” You assure him, fixing he lapels on his orange blazer.

“You’re not”

“I am”

“You’re in pain, yes or no?”

“Matty” You sigh.

“Yes or no?”

You give in, “Yes but-“

“Then we'll leave. Just you and me” Matt says taking your hand and pulling you towards the exit.

You pull back against him, “Matty no. It's fine… You wanted to stay with Bea, Rome, Heather... I don’t mind staying.”

“Sweetheart, I literally just caught you crouched on the ground in pain” Matty chuckles, shaking his head at your blatant lie.

“I wasn’t in pain, I was seeing how my suit would fix itself” You tell him and gesture down at the teal material, “Looks pretty good”

“You always look pretty good but I’m not as fucking thick as you think I am.” Matty grins shaking his head at you before pulling you into a hug. “You used to be such a better liar”

“I’ve not got any secrets from you anymore.” You chuckle a little.

“You didn’t need to have any from me anyway.” Matty pulls you into a hug, and he presses a kiss to your head before he says, “You know I’ve adored you since we met, could tell me you buried a body and I’d of kept my mouth shut”

“Speaking of... I might need help moving the body later” You grin, pulling back a little so you're still standing close, your arms hanging loose around his neck.

“See I may believe you, but you’ve got mad period pain so I think we‘ll move the body next week” Matty chuckles, playing along.

You giggle at that and you move away from him so you can both head back towards the party. But Matty grabs your hand, “Where are you going?”

“Back in there” You point back to the doors that the party was hiding behind.

“No we're going home, come on” Matty pulls you back.

“Matty it’s fine, I know you wanna stay” You say genuinely.

You truly didn’t mind staying. You’d certainly had worse period pain and gone about normally.

You didn’t need to leave a party early.

“I want my stunning wife to be, to get into her pyjamas and be comfortable as her ‘insides are scrambling’, as you so poetically put it.” Matty tells you with a cheeky grin, “And I want to make her feel better in any way I can. ”

You tell him honestly, with the most genuine look, “Matty, I don't mind staying.”

“I literally want to go home.” Matty tells you, his eyebrows raised to emphasise his point.

You grin when you quote his lyrics at him, “Do you wanna leave at the same time?”

“Right, that's literally about dying... And I know you’re not that dramatic” Matty says pulling you back into his arms and you half hug half dance your way down the hall towards the car park.

When you get back home you immediately change into your pyjamas per Matty’s instructions. He brought you a drink and painkillers up to your bedroom and once he watched you take them, he went and got himself ready for bed.

After showering and quickly drying his hair he came back into your bedroom to find you lay in the centre of your large bed. You’d left room for him either side of you as you, but you looked so comfy Matty was almost hesitant to join you.

“You look like you feel better” Matty grins seeing you looking a bit better in yourself.

You smile at him, “Definitely feel better now I’m lay down”

“That’s good”

“Think I’d feel even better if I got a cuddle” You suggest with a cheeky grin and raised eyebrows.

“Lucky I’m available to give you that, isn’t it?” Matty chuckles, pulling the covers back to get into bed.

You raise your arms to him, so he knows to come to you. You wanted him close and you wanted to hold him.

If that meant you being used as a body pillow, then so be it.

Matty slotted himself right beside you and he lay his head on the top of your chest, so his head was tucked just under your chin. An immediate surge of warmth came over you when he settled himself in your embrace.

Your arms instantly went around his bare back and as you kept one on his smooth skin, your other instinctively travelled to his hair. It was still warm to touch from the hairdryer he used on his now short locks, and his body was still toasty from the heat of his shower.

It really helped dull the last ache that your period brought to you. Matty was like your personal hot water bottle.

You hum as you close your eyes and hug him a little tighter. “You’re really warm”

“That‘s unusual for me so enjoy it whilst it lasts” Matty hugs you a little tighter then.

You giggle knowing it was true and you do, you even tuck the duvet higher up his back, so he stayed toasty warm above you.

“Matty” You say, still repeatedly running your fingers through his short hair at the top of his head.

You feel Matty hum against your chest, “Yes Sweetheart?”

“Will you do me a favour please?” You smile, your eyes still closed, enjoying the closeness.

“Course.” Your fiancé says, picking his head up from your chest to look up at your gorgeous face, “Do you need me to go get you some chocolate? A McDonalds maybe, I know the twenty nuggets is sort of your comfort food these days”

You grin at him then, “You're adorable, but no.” You shake your head, “You don't need to go anywhere for anything”

“Then what can I do for you?” Matty asks, tilting his head to the side and his gorgeous brown eyes shined curiously.

“Can you stop shaving your curls off please?” You plead with a smile tugging at your lips, “I really miss my curly”

Matty grins feeling you still running your fingers through what locks he has left. “I’m right here, I'm no different because they’re gone”

“I know…” You grin, and you guide his head back down to resting on your chest so he’s as comfy as you, “Just miss messing with your longer hair sometimes”

“I miss you messing with it too.” Matty says lovingly, placing a kiss to your skin “I'll grow it back out for you, I promise”

You giggle a little then as each time he’d cut his hair over the years you’d scorned him for it and he’d taken no notice. You weren't expecting him to actually agree with you now but you were certainly glad he had.

“Thank you, my lovely” You grin. “And thanks for tonight”

“What do you mean? I’ve not done anything?” Matty asks, a little confused.

Your voice slows as you tell him, “Thank you for our cute matching outfits, that was really adorable. And for taking me with you, I'm really glad you won, and you know I love watching you perform. And for coming home and looking after me, you really didn't have to, but I really appreciate it”

“You know I’d do anything for you Sweetheart... And I'd rather you feel better and be in bed with you than stick around at an after party anyway” Matty tells you grabbing your hand that wasn't messing with his hair and he placed a kiss to the back of it.

“You’re far too good for me” You grin before you quickly lean down and place a kiss to the start of his head.

“You’re right, I did just win another award” Matty jokes and he only starts laughing when you hit him over the head playfully.

“I’m joking” He giggles, “I love you”

“I love you more Matty” You say and reach up above your head to flick the light switch off.

After a minute of just silently enjoying the other's closeness, Matty asks you quietly, “What time do you want to go and pick up our child from my Mum‘s tomorrow?”

You giggle at that question and say, “You know I was talking about our child to Y/B/F and she stopped me and questioned it thinking she’d gone into a coma for a year or something and missed us having a kid”

“Has she not heard us call Mayhem our kid since the day we went and got him?” Matty asks a little shocked.

Matty remembered the day you got him, and he’d fully said he was a practice child for you both in the future.

“Apparently not” You giggle, still messing with your fiancé’s hair.

Y/B/F has definitely been living under a rock.

Matty’s chuckles settle after a moment and he says, “Bed’s a little comfier without him laying on me if I'm honest”

“I’d say I’d agree but I'm practically in the same situation” You grin to yourself, still practically stroking his head.

“Aw that's nasty” Matty all but pouts.

“Or is it? He’s cute, you’re cute. He’s fluffy and you’re fluffy when you have more hair” You’re smiling like an idiot as you list all these things off, “You like biscuits, he likes biscuits. You cuddle up to me in bed and so does Mayhem. And you both give me good morning kisses”

Matty picks his head up and looks at you through the darkness, asking, “Is this the part where you say you’re marrying our dog instead of me?”

“I would but the invitations have already been printed and that would be a lot of money to change and update everyone” You joke, and you can see in the dim light that shines through your curtains that his jaw drops.

He gasps, “Nasty bitch”

“Mayhem’s a boy, he can’t be a bitch” You joke, thinking you’re funny.

Matty chuckles, kissing the side of your neck, “I meant you”

“That’s no way to speak to your fiancé Healy” You grin, liking the gentle kiss he placed on your neck. “Especially when she’s on her period”

Matty hums against your neck then and you hear him say, “Don’t cry on me now”

You roll your eyes at that. It wasn’t often you cried over a conversation with Matty when you were on your period, so you knew he was being dramatic. But you knew your man, you could play on the drama and he’d eat it up.

“I might do you know” You sniffle as if you’re getting upset.

Matty giggles into your neck a little then and you're smiling, still playing with his hair. Matty coos, despite knowing you’re joking, “Don’t do that”

You fake another shaky inhale, “I’ll try”

“Awwww” Matty pouts before pecking his way back down your collarbone and onto the top of your chest before resting his head there again.

You play the victim and press on, “What do you say to your poor wife to be who didn’t deserve that”

“Sorry Sweetheart” Matty chuckles before placing another kiss onto your skin.

You just can't stop grinning like an idiot. He literally was just putting in your hands and you loved him for being so soft with you.

“That's right… Such a good boy” You continue with your final dog similarity joke and pat his head.

Both you and Matty just lie there in bed giggling away like fools in love.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You can add yourself to my Taglists in my Masterlist x

[sserpente]

A/N: Request by @nebulousfishgills. Let’s be honest, fluffy and romantic is what defines Thomas Sharpe. Have a lovely Christmas Eve, everyone! ♥

Words: 1438 Warnings: fluff

You were humming Jingle Bells. If there was one positive thing about being snowed in in midst of massive land in England inside a house in which only a few rooms were heated, then it was Christmas approaching.

When you had fallen in love with Thomas, the decision to move in with him had come quick. You were a young woman to be married and your father wanted to know you in the hands of a wealthy man. It had all happened a little too fast for your liking but then again, Sir Thomas Sharpe was wonderful. He treated you like a princess, making sure you were comfortable and had even promised to start renovating the house with you in the new year.

Only Lucille was not at all delighted by the fact you had become the third household member. One night, you had overheard him and her talking about you, about how they desperately needed the dowry of your father to keep the mansion in good condition.

It had all been almost too quick of an engagement for Thomas too, you realised that when you found out Lucille had pressured him into proposing to you so soon. You sighed. It is what it is. You would make the best out of the situation—starting with Christmas decorations and a Christmas tree which someone from town would kindly deliver to you in time for Christmas Eve.

“This looks lovely, dearest.” Thomas took off his coat. He had just returned from the attic, crafting away.

You smiled. “It’s not much but I like it.”

“You might like this then.” He announced, producing a small object. Your jaw dropped.

“It’s a nutcracker! Oh Thomas, it’s beautiful! I love it! Did you make it yourself?” It was wearing a red coat and black shoes, made of wood and painted by hand. Thomas must have used the filling of an old pillow to give it a bit of a beard and the gold chain of one of Lucille’s broken necklaces to complete his armour.

“That I did.”

“It must have taken you days! Let me put him on the nightstand. Thank you, Thomas.” Standing on your toes, you pressed your lips against his cheek. You had not exactly gone any further than a few chaste kisses here and there and the odd cuddling at night—that, you saved for your wedding night. It was due as soon as the snow melted.

“You are welcome.” Thomas answered, pulling you into a hug. “I was hoping to make the holidays a merry time for you, being so far away from home, here with us. Consider it an early Christmas present.”

“All this house needs is a little love and warmth. You are my family now. Now,” you began, quickly depositing the nutcracker on your nightstand. “I am done here. Let us head downstairs and decorate the living room. I believe a wreath would look pretty on Lucille’s piano, and some stockings above the chimney.”

Thomas’ sincere expression faltered.

“Is… is there a problem?”

“No. No, not at all, dearest.” But his smile did not quite reach his eyes this time. “Let us decorate.”

-

By the time Lucille returned from her shopping trip in town to get new supplies for cooking (along with your polite request for turkey, for you wanted to make a proper Christmas dinner for everyone), Thomas and you were almost done. Only one corner in the living room had remained untouched to leave some space for the Christmas tree.

Utter shock spread on her face when she spotted all the garlands and baubles which you had brought from home.

“Thomas, what is all this?”

“Christmas decoration?” You chirped.

“This is… Thomas and I don’t celebrate Christmas.” She announced coldly. Your lips parted, your gaze darting to Thomas. So that is why he had been hesitating about decorating the living room.

“Lucille…” He began.

“We don’t celebrate Christmas, Thomas. Not since mother died. You said nothing would change when you confessed to me that you love her.” She spat, pointing at you as if you were some sort of vermin. You sighed. You had always known that Lucille didn’t particularly like you. Thomas had told you about their both tragic and traumatising backstory too and that she was both protective and possessive when it came to the younger Sharpe sibling. That, however, had not stopped you from falling in love with Thomas. In fact, it made you love him all the more.

“…she is away from home, I wanted to—“ Thomas was just saying.

“This is your new home now!” Lucille spat at you. “Get used to it.”

“Lucille. I will not let you stop me from celebrating Christmas with my fiancé. Either you calm down and join us or you retreat to your room but let us be.”

“This is ridiculous.” With pursed lips, she darted forward and ripped the stockings off the chimney, tossing them into the open fireplace. You gasped. Those had belonged to your grandfather. He had loved American traditions which was why you had put them above the chimney in the first place. Tears formed in your eyes, worsening your sight.

As much as you had grown to love Thomas, you truly hated this place.

“Lucille!” Thomas bellowed.

“I got your bloody turkey, is that not enough?”

Suppressing a sob, you turned on your heel and fled, back upstairs and into Thomas’ bedroom. You had not expected him to follow you so soon, only a minute after, however, the baronet entered and shut the door quietly behind him.

Your heart jumped when he muttered your name. “I am so sorry. I will get you new stockings. The most beautiful ones I can find. In fact, I will head to town right now and see if—“

“No! No, don’t go.” You sat up from the bed, your face reddened and eyes swollen from crying. “Don’t leave me here alone. Thomas… it’s… it’s not just about the stockings. How will I ever be happy in this place if Lucille spends every minute trying to make my life here a living hell? She hates me, Thomas.” You sobbed, allowing him to pull you into his embrace. He wanted to object and tell you that you were wrong, that his sister did not hate you… but he couldn’t. Because it would have been a lie.

“Thomas… why don’t we leave? Lucille is suffocating you and you know that.”

“I…” He paused, unsure of what to say. “Would you already like to open your Christmas present? Just the two of us? Would that cheer you up?”

“But… you already gave me the nutcracker. Tell me you didn’t spend any money on me.” You complained half-heartedly. Thomas shook his head with a smile. He stood, walking over to his side of the bed and producing a white envelope from his bedside table.

His expression was so sincere and loving that you feared your heart might melt, despite of what Lucille had just done.

“Open it.”

With trembling fingers and after drying your tears a little, you did as you were told, revealing a piece of paper which looked a little like a postcard.

“It’s… a picture?”

Thomas chuckled. “It is about what is in the picture. I sold a few of my old drafts for machine parts, it was enough for a deposit. The drawing of this little seaside cottage right here—it will be ours. It lies south of London, near Brighton.”

“W-what do you mean? You bought it?”

“I paid the down payment. I thought… I know you don’t feel at home here—I understand that. But the house is all the Lucille and I have left, this property… I thought perhaps we could spend the warm months together in the cottage, the cold months in Allerdale Hall with Lucille… or… or the other way around, if you’d prefer—”

You interrupted him with a passionate kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and climbing on his lap and straddling him.

“This is wonderful, Thomas.” You said when you broke apart again, your lips swollen. “I love it. It will be our own little kingdom, just the two of us.”

“Yes.” He confirmed, still breathless from your kiss.

“Let us… let us put up the Christmas tree here, in your bedroom. Lucille doesn’t need to see it if she is so uncomfortable with the idea of Christmas. As long as you are here with me?”

Thomas nodded. The idea was reasonable. “I shall never leave your side again.”

“Merry Christmas, Thomas.” The baronet smiled.

“Merry Christmas, my future wife.”

-

I hope you’ll all have a peaceful Christmas Eve with your friends and family! ♥

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, I would appreciate it so much if you considered supporting me on Kofi! It’s either for caffeine or red wine, I’ll take both. ko-fi.com/sserpente  

[savoies]

Remember Those Days - Dylan Holloway.

Summary: Dylan forgets your anniversary and slowly remembers.

Word Count: 1.7k 

Warnings: mentions of sex and maybe a few bad words.

A/N: This fic went through about five rough drafts until I finally came up with one I liked. It was supposed to be an angst fic but hey we deserve something cute every once in a while, enjoy!

taglist: @hartsyhart ​ @nhlpetey ​ @mitch-slap @frostythegoalman @ryanssuzuki  @aria253264 ​  @josty ​ @kaitieskidmore1 ​ @kiedhara ​ @laurenairay ​ @teenagekook ​ ​ @alxvlasic ​ ​ @hockeyallthetime ​ ​ @barzy-baby ​ ​ @officialgritty ​ @bowenbyram ​ @mems06 ​ ​ @joshsandersons ​  @connormcdavo ​ @maattamatthews ​ @pierreslucdubois ​ ​ @selenophileangel @boqvistsbabe @ana-maa @stars-canucks

tagging some friends: @npatrickz ​ @bestestbenn ​ @heybarzy @tkachuk-yeah @cozycozzy ​ @2manytabsopen .

(*credit to the gif owner*)

Today was your third year anniversary with Dylan. Honestly after a few years today your anniversary date was just spent at home doing whatever your heart desired together. Well today it seemed as though your boyfriend's heart desired to be with his friends.

“Babe I'm gonna hang out with the boys, I'll see you later ok.” he said as he placed a soft kiss on your lips. 

“Oh ok, but you’ll be home before six right?” you asked. 

“I was planning on coming back around ten, just depending on what we do, why do we have plans?” He asked, raising his eyebrow questionly. You shook your head no and let him walk out. You didn’t want to be one of those significant others that made a big deal out of it. You knew he was forgetful. I mean last week he had forgotten where he had left his phone the night before. You were used to this. At least you thought you were. Looking back at your time together Dylan had never forgotten any special dates. He had remembered all your firsts together down to a t.

Your first date.

First dates. Stereotypical to be an awkward time between two people to decide if they like like eachother or not. Well for you and Dylan that was not the case. Most sixteen year olds would go out to the movies or go down to the carnival in town (if there was one). But not you and him. Having grown up as acquaintances you were used to having him around. Honestly kind of surprised when he had asked you out but I mean hanging with Dylan was always a good time. It was a simple gesture and quite frankly you weren't sure how to say no. You had just gotten off of school and since both of you lived so close to each other he just decided to walk with you instead of asking one of his friends for a ride. 

“Hey Y/N wait up.” you turned around to be faced with the smiley blonde haired boy that you had grown accustomed to.

“Hey Holloway, whats up.” you spoke up as you kept your eyes trained on the ground. 

"You busy tonight?” he said as he nervously grabbed the straps of his backpack waiting for a response.

“Well considering I have homework but i'm pretending I don't then no i do not, why up for a late night adventure?” You looked up at him with a smirk. When you guys were younger you would sneak out of your rooms and go on adventures around the neighborhood until your parents would call you up and ask where you were.

“Actually kind of, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come over later?” he shot you a small smile hoping that you would get the hint of him asking you out.

You thought about his words as they registered in his mind. If this was a dinner with his parents then your family members would have known as well. But he was asking you specifically which meant only one thing. “Oh uhm like a date, I mean yeah uhm sure.” you smiled back at him. I mean how bad could it be. Being in a small space with one of the cutest and nicest dudes you knew, yeah not a big deal at all. 

Later that night as you went over to his house you did not suspect what was about to go down. This wasn't a basic date and I think that is why you remember it so well other than the fact that it was with Dylan. You guys spent the whole night cuddled on the couch watching hockey game reruns and just talking about life, and not one single moment did he make you feel uncomfortable. 

Your first kiss.

Kisses are supposed to be magical. First kisses are usually awkward and yours was both. It was late one night and both of you sat on your porch after a date just looking at the stars and enjoying each other's company before you had to get back inside. Maybe it was a in the moment thing or the fact that you really really enjoyed your time together but next thing you know both of you were leaning into each other. Which of course for it being your first kiss something has to go bad. Somehow both of you made a wrong move or something and next thing you know Dylan’s bottom lip was bleeding.

“Oh my god Dylan I am so sorry.” You spoke up as you tried looking for a napkin or something.

“Honestly if my lip had to bleed everytime i kiss you I can handle it.” he looked up at you softly.

“Oh my gosh you are literally bleeding and you're using this time to make moves on me.” You laughed.

“Hey, it's working right?” he laughed as you hit him on the shoulder and waved him goodbye as he walked back home.

First I love you.

I love you. Honestly seems like everyone makes those words a really big deal. Some people saying don’t say it back if you don’t feel the same way, others saying try to refrain from it as long as possible. For you and Dylan it had been about ten months into the relationship. Him being away at one of his many hockey games. He was anxious. Honestly the most anxious you had ever seen him like this. Some scouts were going to be there and he had to make a good impression which of course you weren't worried about but he was. He had called you saying that your voice calmed him.

“What do you want to talk about?” you questioned.

“Literally anything other than this game.” He let out a breath he had been holding.

“Well I had a burger today from that place you like.” You randomly blurted out.

“Wait are you serious, how rude of you not to wait for me.”

“Don't come between me and my food.” Both of you continued on talking about each other's day until his coach came into the locker room.

“Ok Y/N I have to go wish me luck.” He sighed.

“Good luck Dyl you got this, I love you.” And before you could stop yourself from saying it those three words that seemed so powerful slipped out of your mouth first. I mean you didn't expect to say it first. Or even say it so soon. You knew it was true and had felt this way for a while but you didn't think you'd fall for him so soon. 

“What what, dId you, can you repeat that.” Dylan spoke up as a huge smile grew on his face. Honestly he was planning on telling you tonight but it seemed as though you beat him.

“Ah fuck it, I love you Dylan Holloway now go kick some hockey player butt.” You smiled on the other side of the phone call.

“Holloway, get a move on.” His coach yelled.

“Ok babe I have to go, I love you.” After that night he brought back a win and both of you laid in bed together exchanging the three words back and forth with huge smiles on your faces.

First Anniversary.

Honestly if people had told you that one day you would be going out with the boy a few doors down you would’ve told them that they were crazy. But one year later you were still going strong. And doing the same thing you did for your first date except this time with chocolate. Lots of chocolate. It was sweet. Dylan having had practice earlier in the day and texting you many times throughout the day on how he thought it was crazy how someone like you could date someone like him. He came home tired and all you did was lay in each other's arms as you played with his hair and both of you slowly drifted off to sleep.

First time.

First times. Scary could be one word for them. Opening up to someone on a vulnerable and exposed level can be one way to see it. Another way to see it is giving yourself entirely to the person you love. 

Draft day. A special day in many hockey players' lives. The day that will basically decide their future for them. It’s like the game life. Picking a career and a salary except for them is someone else doing it for them. So here Dylan was waiting and waiting as they called names and teams. 

You were a few doors down following the live draft deciding that it was better if he got this special moment with his family and you guys could spend time together later. 

As your boyfriend's name appeared on your screen you jumped up and down your room. Dylan having exchanged hugs and done the whole post draft interviews he came over. As he walked into your room you jumped into his arms. 

“Dylan, I'm so proud of you.” you whispered in his ear.

“I love you.” He replied as he softly but needingly kissed you. As one thing led to another both of you were on top of each other exchanging messy kisses with the door closed. Hands all over each other as articles of clothing were scattered across the floor. 

Waking up from the events of the past night brought a smile to your face as you laid in your boyfriend's arms with your legs intertwined. 

~~~~

Dylan had come back home as soon as realization hit him. How could he have forgotten. You were sitting on the couch watching some random reality show that was playing. 

“Hey Dyl, why are you back so soon?”  you asked on why he was six hours earlier than he had said. 

“Y/N baby fuck i messed up. Shit im so sorry.” he came over and placed a kiss on your lips.

“Dyl baby it’s ok, I can think of a few ways you can make it up to me.” you smiled.

“Wait so I forget our three year anniversary and you're completely fine with it?” He asked.

“Remind me what we did for our first year anniversary.” You looked up your boyfriend.

“We sat in my room and watched hockey games.” He looked at you trying to see what you were getting at.

“And how long did that take?”

“I don’t know like three hours?” He questioned.

“So what's stopping us from doing it now, come here.” you said as you wrapped your hands around his taller figure. Both of you laid together for the rest of the day all your cares washing away.

[mysmegrace]

TW: I read over your rules and I don't think I'm overstepping anything? If I am please feel free to tell me and decline the request! I didn't know if you did ships and I didn't know if r@pe comfort was too nsfw or if it would make you uncomfortable? If that's all ok, could I request Zen x jaehee fic/hcs where the setting is at a party and jaehee disappears for a while and Zen finds her in the middle of getting assaulted... How would he act in the moment? After it? And how would he react to her not wanting any sexual interactions with him and being insecure of her body for a while?

Again, if this makes you uncomfortable I'm so sorry! I'm a sucker for angst but I do know that r@pe comfort isn't for everyone to write!

hello~ i've never written from a certain ship before so i'm not sure how good at it i'll be, but i'll give it a shot lol. i wouldn't say you're overstepping my wishes, i just don't write vivid descriptions and lemons. i'm fine with writing this, thank you for being considerate.

tw: mentions and implications of r4pe, assault, drinking.

words: 1.3k

Please, Cry - Zen x Jaehee

---

"it's just a party" he said.

"it would help to loosen up a bit" he said.

jaehee should've just listened to her gut, she thought, now surrounded by unfamiliar men. who were they? she couldn't tell. maybe it was the masks covering the lower half of their face or the alcohol blurring her vision, neither were invited right now.

these weren't the men zen had talked about earlier. he said they were respectful, polite men. he even went as far as to show her a picture of them beforehand, attempting to calm her nerves. though she would admit it worked, she could've sworn they weren't the same people.

their hair was styled to the side, excluding the one bald. none of them wore glasses. none of them were under 5'7. they couldn't possibly be the same.

did zen lie to her..? she worried all while attempting to fight back against their pushes and pulls all throughout her body. she had grown too weak. there was no use anymore.

she couldn't help but to give up, having the mentality to just accept it. her presence downstairs, or rather- lack thereof, didn't do unnoticed.

zen had been looking for her while the clock hit the quarter after mark. washroom breaks didn't take 25 minutes, he thought, continuing to search the house. yet after searching every corner and cabinet, he felt lost.

what if something happened to her? he couldn't help but jump to the worst scenarios. there was nowhere else to be searched, besides the upstairs bedroom- the one everyone was told explicitly to stay out of. had she ran off? was she not happy with him? did she get kidnapped?

nothing was looking good at this point. he needed to check the upstairs bedroom just to make sure she wasn't lost. he left the common area to search for the home owner.

where was he though? zen couldn't find him anywhere. surely, they wouldn't notice if he checked in the room for just a second, he thought. hence why he started creeping up towards the room, looking around carefully for anyone in sight.

the creek of the door opening didn't help his case, as he took notice of it once entering. his attention wasn't taken by the sound for very long once he noticed a woman held down on the bed. she was clearly intoxicated, and she clearly wasn't consenting in any manner.

he looked the woman up and down for no more than a second, looking for any way to recognize her. her shoes caught his eye. they were jaehees...it was his woman on the bed.

all hell broke loose. subtly taking out his phone, he called 911 while confronting the three men. one being the home owner, he seemed like the leader in this case. yet who were the other two.. he thought.

that didn't matter in this moment. he was enraged. quickly pulling jaehee up to her feet, he began to argue between the trio. their words weren't comprehensible, but anyone could tell they were full of hate.

looking to his side to check up on his love, her frightened eyes stared directly at him. he had been scaring her.. he realized. no more words were spoken towards the men, at least until the cops showed up.

by surprise, they didn't take long to arrive. he lived by a police station after all. zen just watched in disbelief as the trio got arrested before his eyes. while taken away in handcuffs, he still hadn't felt it was enough.

a sniffle rang through his ear, his priority shifted once again. jaehee was standing right beside him with an expression he couldn't read. she was shaking, her eyes even doing so. she looked petrified, but when trying to talk to her, he could tell she wasn't able to put her words together.

the questioning went by like a flash. after explaining the series of events, they were free to leave. and thankfully so, jaehee needed rest. he could deal with the guys later, tonight would be spent watching over her.

paying the taxi fee, they arrived home. he quickly left to the washroom, while jaehee fell to the couch. her mind was in overload. so much was happening in so little time. as her head met the fluffy cushion, her eyes flew shut.

she was only greeted with an overwhelming headache and sense of dread the next morning. knowingly hungover, her mind quickly recalled the entirety of the previous night.

it was a feeling she had never experienced. no one dared to hurt her so deeply before. this was a new kind of pain. yet she couldn't bring herself to cry. she couldn't shed any tears over the event. and for once in her life, she actually wanted to cry.

crying would reassure her that she survived, that she's still alive. that she wasn't completely broken, and the men wouldn't permeate themselves in her mind. yet, she couldn't feel the saltiness from her tears seep in her cheeks.

zen was woken up not long after, his natural body alarm raising him from his previous laying position. he was met with her sitting figure, blankets cuddling her carefully, staring at the mattress before her.

"how are you?" he asked, his worry prevalent. it took a minute for her to talk, which zen sat patiently for, before she responded "i don't know".

he didn't respond, just reached to hug her. her body went into fight or flight, as she ripped herself away from him. as much as she loved him, she couldn't stand to be touched right now or even have the thought of being intimate in any form.

he was taken aback, quickly asking "are you okay jagiya?". she slightly panicked, knowing she probably hurt his feelings. "i'm fine zen, i just can't stand to be touched right now, or for a while" she answered, quick to explain her actions.

"ohh" she heard, as he realized what had happened. "that's okay, i understand" he said, backing away out of respect. it comforted her.

though he couldn't lie, he felt guilty for her acting like this. it was his idea to go to the party, even encouraging her to join him. he didn't know who the other two men were, but the home owner was someone he had known to be polite.

of course, that wasn't the case. his trust had been twisted and turned. "i'm sorry" he said. he couldn't help but apologize. "no zen, it's not your fault, i just" she said, drifting off at the end.

she couldn't find the words to let out. now more than ever, she wanted to break down. it felt needed to. it would provide her with a sense of closure.

almost like she could grieve properly, before moving on. zen noticed her downward look, the way she stared through the sheets. "please sweetheart, tell me what's wrong" he said.

she took a breath, almost as if she was waiting for something. "i... need to cry" she let out. hearing a confused sound come from the man beside her, she continued "i need to let it out".

"then please jagiya, cry. it's okay to cry" he said. she looked up at him, feeling a faint burning from behind her eye balls. "i can't zen" she responded with a weak voice, as soft as the comforter on top of her.

"please, cry" he pleaded. "cry, find it within yourself to cry, i know you can sweetie". she didn't know if it was her hard efforts or the voice of her lover, but she could feel the drops of water start to meet her skin.

slowly, but surely, she was crying. it felt good. it felt comforting. she could mourn how she was treated that night by natures giving. "yes, good job" his soft voice rang through her ears.

"it will be alright, everything will be alright. i swear on my life, i will get you justice. i will protect you" he said, as he passed her crying state a tissue.

---

21:10 AST - 09/29/21

[loudsuitlover]

Just friends II

Part 1 

She rang his bell and waited impatiently for him, shifting her weight from leg to leg and considering biting her nails. She hadn’t done that since she was in high school, when her mother had mixed nail polish with hot chilly and she had grown old of the habit, but she thought maybe that would settle the angry tide on her belly.

She had been anxious all day and it was probably because she had been on edge that everything had felt on edge too. She had done every procedure at work like any other colleague, but she had felt the entire time as if something was just going to go wrong one time or the other. And then after having survived that day, all she could think about was seeing him. She hadn’t texted him so maybe he wasn’t even home but she hoped he would. With this coronavirus thing there weren’t many places he could be at anyway and she knew he was being rather responsible and he was barely going out at all these days. She didn’t have to worry about him being with someone else for it had been one of the rules they had set at the beginning too but maybe he was jogging or working and she thought about going home and having a long, hot shower but then he opened the door.

She didn’t even give him time to smile or say something funny to her. Instead she cupped his face with her two hands and she pressed her lips against his. She caught his bottom lip between her own lips first and then she needily bit down until his lips slip from her grasp as he smiled at her initiative. One of his hands had moved to her neck in an instinct and it was holding her head for his thumb was caressing her cheekbone as his fingers rest right below her ear. His other hand gripped her right hip lingeringly.

Harry couldn’t possibly know what that kiss- or anything she ever did for that matter- was about; but he thought no questions shall be asked when the woman you love is kissing you like that so instead of asking, his tongue caved inside her mouth and his fingers dragged from her cheek to her neck before he tangled them on her hair to deepen the kiss. He was sure she could feel his excitement and he hoped it wasn’t inappropriate given the silence and the fact that they were still standing on his doorway. Yet since their lips had touched, all she had felt was a warmth that she hadn’t experienced since last time she had seen him and they had kissed for half an hour before she had to leave for work.

Unconsciously, she had been daydreaming of this kiss all day; the greed of it. But neither of her daydreams could meet up to this reward, to the soothing feeling of his lips on hers and his hands on her body.

His eyes studied her when she pulled away and took a breath.

“Tough day?”

She nodded and he moved aside for her to step inside his apartment. They didn’t talk any further about it. She had told him at the beginning that when she was having a bad day she didn’t like talking about it and he had respected that.

“You hungry?”

He was making grilled cheese and he could do another one for her if she felt like it.

“No, I just want to cuddle.” She pouted.

He chuckled and smiled as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him.

 He chuckled and smiled as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him.

“I’m making myself a sandwich though. But when I eat, we can cuddle, yeah.”

“Okay. I’ll wait.” She shrugged.

His eyes set on her and he smiled but didn’t say a thing. That was so not how friends with benefits worked. If they were friends with benefits, they couldn’t just pop up at his house and ask for just cuddles and she couldn’t expect him to kiss her tough day better but she could because they were not just friends, despite whatever she said. “I'

She followed him to the kitchen and sat on the counter in utter silence while he finished making his sandwich and then she poured two glasses of water and walked with him to his living room. He sat down on the couch and manoeuvred her so she would sit on his lap and then he handed her the TV remote and nibbled on his sandwich. She ended up stealing a bite or two but he found it too endearing to mind so after his sandwich was done, his hands were on her. They lied down on the couch and she rested her head on his chest as they watched the rerun of The Office she had settled for.

He was caressing her back through her sweater and every once in a while, her hands would tighten around his waist as she squeezed him on a hug. His pulse accelerated every time she moved but he smiled when she squeezed him.

“You know” He whispered “friends with benefits don’t meet up just to cuddle.” He teased.

“I know.”

He smiled. She rested her chin on her hand against his chest and looked up at him.

“Do you want sex or you want me to leave?”

His

green eyes investigated hers. She didn’t seem hurt, but he knew she was serious. He breathed in before he answered her.

“Neither.” He whispered. “I just wanted to make sure you were aware of that.”

“Does it bother you?”

“You know it doesn’t.”

“Then you said it as part of your endless battle of making me aware that we are not just friends with benefits, right?”

He smiled.

“I just wanted to cuddle” she shrugged “with you, because I like being held by you. I like being close to you and smelling you and you’re always warm. Now, if it makes you uncomfortable or you think it’s ina-“

His lips pressed against hers before she could finish the sentence. She had told him at the very beginning that the most important rule of theirs had to be communication. She said she had done it before, the friends with benefits thing, and it hadn’t really worked because they were not communicating so she said she expected him to tell her pretty much everything that was going through his mind.

“Just shup up.” He shook his head.

“I don’t wanna hurt you.” She smiled.

“I know.”

“You’ll tell me if I was, right?”

“Yes.” He smirked. “I’m a big boy.”

And with that they resumed to watch their show.

She wasn’t hurting him… Yet. He was confident in his own skin and he loved the man he was and sometimes he was sure she loved him back like when he went to her house and found out she had bought almond milk for him or when she wouldn’t take her eyes of him whenever they were out with friends but some other times he doubted. Maybe she really didn’t love him like he loved her. Maybe she really didn’t want to hurt him because she was a good friend but maybe his feelings were not reciprocated for real.

He was dreading the time when those doubts would no longer be doubts because then he would have to tell her he couldn’t keep doing that. She knew he loved her. She wasn’t an idiot and he had gone so far so as to tell her, mostly because she had asked him to tell her everything he was thinking and feeling at all times; but then she had asked him whether he wanted to end things and he had said no and he was an adult, intelligent and owner of his own heart and feelings. If he wasn’t hurting, then she could keep doing whatever it was that they were doing, and if he was hurting then he had to tell her and she trusted he would.

He watched Jim watching Pam and he wondered what it would be like if Sam was a secretary. He thought maybe she wouldn’t be so afraid of having a boyfriend for he thought she might not have to fight so hard to be respected that she was afraid even loving someone would cost her some respect. And he thought maybe if she had settled down for a less time-consuming career, perhaps she would have the time to go out and actually get to know someone enough so that they wouldn’t care she worked that much.

“Sam” he whispered “if you weren’t a doctor, do you think you’d have a relationship with me?”

She hated those questions. If she hadn’t decided to just always tell the truth, she would probably think what would be best to say. She knew her friends would think of what to say that would hurt him the less and they would overthink what he would think of whatever she could say yet she was not like that. She would say what was on her mind because then she thought if she hurt someone, at least she would hurt them with the truth. She thought that was less cruel.

“I don’t know.” She smiled. “I am a doctor so… I don’t know what would be of me if I wasn’t one.”

He smirked. He knew she was going to dodge his question.

“I am most likely an idiot not to want a relationship with you.” She smiled. “Doctor or no doctor, it doesn’t make a difference.”

“But you don’t.” He chuckled. “You’re so scared.” He was grinning.

She felt a knot on her throat. Everybody said that and some nights she thought they were right but then she’d wake up in the morning and she’d get ready for work and she’d say this smart thing she read the night before and she thought- well, people just don’t understand. It’s not that she was afraid of a relationship, it was not even her commitment issues- which she clearly had nonetheless- it was just that she did not want one. She didn’t need one. She was happy like that.

But still, she would walk into somebody’s house on a Saturday night and Harry would be there and her heart would accelerate and he would breathe on her ear and she would get goosebumps on the back of her neck. And she thought of him, all the time when he wasn’t around. She imagined how he’d look like with 40 years old or how he would look like if instead of a singer he was an accountant and she wondered if he wasn’t who he was and she wasn’t who she was, if then they would have met in college in some random class neither of them really needed for their future and they would have fallen in love and gotten married and had kids.

She climbed over his body until her mouth was inches from his. His eyes, that had been investigating her for the last minute, set on her lips before she pressed them against his. They kissed chastely at first, as if they were both trying to imagine what it would be like in those worlds they had created, but then her tongue ran across his bottom lip and he opened her mouth for her so she slipped it inside and Harry gasped on her mouth before his breathing became laboured. She felt a fire burning on her stomach at the sounds of his breathing and her hips started to grind against him on their own accord. They moved slowly, swaying back and forth against his groin and awakening him.

“Thought you said you just wanted to cuddle.” He gasped.

She hummed against his lips before she kissed his chin and made her way down to the side of his neck where she started her torturous ritual. She would kiss his skin gently at first and then she would run her tongue against it before she nibbled on it and he would gasp and his vision would get blurry.

“Said I just wanted to be held by you” she whispered “and to be close to you” she captured his earlobe between her lips “but I can stop if you want.”

“No.” He smiled.

“Good.”

Her lips went back to his and she kissed him despite his smile. His hands were on her body and like a cat, her figure moved so he would touch her more. He ran his hands across every curve of her body, for the side of her chest to her waist and lower down to her hips so he helped her move over him.

Harry rotated his hands, cupped and squeezed her breasts and she moaned against his lips, encouraging him to grab her flesh more. Excitement seized her when he bowed his head to kiss on the side of her neck and his rough hands turned angelic. She ran her hips over his hardness, leaving them both short of breath and her mind stopped as he undressed her. Swollen lips caressed her breasts in the search of the reddish bundle of nerves before Harry’s tongue cooled her burning skin down. Her legs pressed against his sides and she felt him harder and closer and she moaned.

She took off her own jeans before she unbuttoned and unzipped him, slipping his jeans down his legs as he helped her lifting his hips from the soft cushion of his couch. Then she was not one bit scared, and she didn’t doubt being scared either, as her body grinded over him in selfish desire. She knew he liked it, if his moans and grunts were any indication, so she kept going, rubbing her wet ravenousness against him. Winds of breath surrounded their ears and as close as she felt, the desperation of getting there was almost frustrating. He was hard like a rock and he was pressing his hot length against her and it was rubbing against her wet bundle of nerves and it felt wonderful and it made her toes curled, but it didn’t feel enough. Noticing her struggle, Harry grabbed himself and pressed against her wet hole with his red angry tip stimulating every nerve.

He thrusted inside half of him and they both let out a moan that sounded like one. They had been kissing for a while and she had been grinding down on him but that was all the foreplay they had had and she had said she just wanted a cuddle. Normally, he would have made sure she was a lot wetter and he would have touched her or licked her as she rained on his tongue or perhaps he wouldn’t have time for that because she would already be so horny and wet; but that time she had just wanted a cuddle and then they had kissed and they had ended up desperate for one another.

“You ready?” He struggled, holding her hips and holding his back.

“Yeah” she kissed him.

After getting her moany confirmation, he finally pushed inside deep inside her but he did it slowly at first so she could feel every inch and he could relish on the way she breathed him in.

“Fucking hell, Sam.” He grunted. “You feel so good.”

She let him have control for a while but she helped him with the rhythm and she circled her hips and moved them back and forth as he pushed in and out of her. Her eyes took him in for the hundredth time but she was still amazed at how handsome he truly was. She noticed the right perfect bridge of his nose and his hard cheeks and his strong jawline and her fingers moved from the cushion to his face and she outlined every angle as his mint green eyes locked with hers. That was not how friends with benefits stared at each other while one of them was inside the other.

“You’re so handsome.” She smiled.

He didn’t say anything. Instead, the grip on her hips tightened as he pushed her closer and fucked faster in and out of her until she was a moaning mess over him so she couldn’t say anything to make his heart flutter.

After her toes had curled and her mind had gone blank and he had let go inside her, she was calming down her breathing with her cheek pressed against his bare chest. One of his hands was playing with her hair while the other drew senseless patterns on the low of her back.

“I can feel your heart.” He noticed.

And they stayed there, peacefully hugging one another in silence, as their breathing matched and their hearts tried to. Later, he picked her up and took her to his bed and when she was lying on his mattress, she said his name.

“Yeah?”

“Can you clean me up?” She yawned. “It’s a mess down there.”

“Sure.” He chuckled.

And he walked inside his bathroom and grabbed a fresh towel for her. He was grinning foolishly whilst he cleaned her up and she was hugging his pillow to her face and smirking.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

She kissed him when he got in bed next to her, a long kiss, a calm one, one of those that say goodnight and I’ll probably dream about you. His hands found the low of her back under the quilt over them and hers rested on his chest while her tongue, merciless but soothing, awakened all those butterflies she didn’t want to face on his belly. He didn’t think he had ever been kissed like that, with such care and meaning, and he didn’t think he had ever felt his skin burning like that either. He kissed her back and his tongue twisted inside her mouth as if trying to get rid of those three words he couldn’t say. When he said her name, it sounded like he was scolding her.

“You’re gonna make me say it.” He explained.

She stopped then and her eyes burnt on his and he swore, as cheesy as it was, that time had stopped. She pecked his lips three times.

“Goodnight.” She whispered.

“Goodnight, you monster.”

She chuckled as she cuddled up to him right before she fell asleep.

[lovelysnake1994]

Ship: Winterspider

Summary: Peter and Bucky have been hiding their relationship from Peter’s parents, yet all secrets must eventually be revealed in the end.

Trigger warnings: None

Bucky lay staring at his boyfriend who was sleeping soundly beside him, he was so damn lucky.

He couldn't believe he had gotten someone as amazing as Peter Parker.

It had been nearly half a year since they had gotten together, and Bucky's appreciation for Peter only amplified throughout their shared time.

The soldier grabbed his phone to take a picture of the sight he wished to wake up to every morning.

Only then did he realize the time, he cursed under his breath. Bucky shook Peter lightly.

"Doll, wake up." Peter's groan was muffled by his pillow. "Pete, it's four forty."

Peter sat up with great difficulty, not yet wanting to leave the comfort of the warm bed.

Over time they had developed a schedule, to spend more time together. At night once everyone was either occupied or asleep, Peter crept into Bucky's room. In the mornings they woke up early before Tony or Steve went to wake up Peter for school.

This secret was awfully tiring to keep, both heroes wanted to display their love openly, but what would Steve say to his best friend about his relationship with his son? On the other hand, Tony would probably think Bucky was a pedophile, who was taking advantage of his son.

To Bucky though, it was different.

Peter was bright beyond belief he didn't act like a kid, so why should he treat him as such? Peter was at the age of consent, he should be able to make his own decisions. Peter Parker knew what he wanted, he wanted Bucky Barnes.

"We never get much time together." Peter frowned. "I know Doll, I'm so sorry." Bucky always believed the boy deserved better, someone he could introduce to his parents, someone he could spend time with whenever he pleased. The man focused on everything he couldn't give Peter, and not on everything he already had.

He had given Peter love, familiar arms that felt like home, a shoulder to lean on, and just about everything Peter had ever wanted.

Peter tilted his head studying the black haired man, just as the other had done earlier. He tenderly placed a kiss on his cheek, nose, forehead, and finally his lips.

"I love you." Peter mumbled. He got up and wrapped the blanket he had brought the previous night over himself. "I love you too babe, have a good day." Peter turned as he opened the door. "You too." He blew the other a kiss before disappearing into the dark hallway, and shutting the door behind him softly.

Bucky tossed and turned, trying to find sleep. Though his efforts were in vain, because he knew that without a certain curly haired boy tucked in his arms he wouldn't find any.

******

Everyone was in the living room, eyes trained on the TV. The Notebook was on.

Ironically enough on the iconic scene in the rain, where the couple embraced, footsteps were heard throughout the room. Peter had been trying to get to his room unnoticed, doing so horribly.

"Peter. Hey bud, how was school?" Peter stopped in his tracks, his back towards them. "Fine."

He tried to walk off, but Tony and Steve were already on their feet. Tony turned him to face the room, and was concerned when he saw Peter was crying.

Bucky got up, and walked over to them tentatively. Peter instantly ran into the soldier, his sobs muffled by the mans chest.

Tony and Steve were confused, and frankly hurt. Why would their son not come to them for a hug?

Why Bucky?

"It's ok, I've got you Peter." Bucky soothed him, and when Peter's sobs reduced to whimpers he spoke softly. "Do you want to talk about it?" Peter wordlessly scanned the room, and Bucky seemed to understand. He tugged Peter to a more secluded area where they could talk. "Peter." Tony called, reaching for his son. Steve held him back. "He needs to talk to someone Tones and he wants that person to be Bucky."

****

Peter sat on the bed shoulders drawn forward, as he finished telling Bucky what had happened earlier.

Flash had always bothered, and teased Peter but never to such extent. He had told Peter that it was his fault Aunt May died.

How she couldn't find it in her to stay for him, he wasn't enough. Bucky was seething, who was this fool to make his boyfriend feel such a way?

"I'll kill that asshole." Bucky growled, and went to stand up. Peter grabbed his arm. "Buck. I just want a cuddle." Bucky smiled lightly, he'd be damned he he ever denied him.

***

Bucky turned his TV off when the first Harry Potter film ended. He looked down at Peter who was already looking up at him. He smiled mischievously, and moved to straddle the older man.

Bucky instinctively put him hands on the teen's hips, his metal hand touched the exposed skin under his slightly lifted shirt. A shiver coursed through Peter, he leaned down his face inches away..

"Peter?!" The couple broke apart, alarmed. Tony stood at the door shocked, and Steve was behind him visibly frozen.

"Dad it's not what it looks like." Tony drew nearer.

"Oh, really? You want to tell me why you were straddling him?" Peter couldn't think of anything else to say, but the truth. "He's my boyfriend." Steve gasped while Tony seethed with anger.

"Peter you're a teenager, he's a grown adult. I thought I taught you to keep from pedophiles."

Peter glanced back at Bucky sadly, their love would always be misunderstood. "He's not a pedophile, seeing as I'm at the age of consent." Peter informed quietly. "I love him, please understand. It's the same love you two share." There was moment of uncomfortable silence.

"My son?" Steve shook his head. "You're supposed to be my best friend." Bucky frowned. "I am, but I'm in love with Peter. I'm sorry for a lot of things Steve, but loving Peter is not one of them." Tony punched the winter soldier then, his nose gave a nasty crack.

"Dad, what's wrong with you!?" Peter rushed to Bucky's aid.

Tony turned to leave, nudging his husband along with him. "I'm sending you away Peter, to a nice military school that ought to set you straight." And Steve didn't object, which meant it was final.

****

Peter lay on the twin sized bed in his new private school. He was already plotting his escape, nothing could keep him from the winter soldier.

In the end he knew they'd be okay, but for now he had to endure the sleepless nights.

The thought of Bucky Barnes being the only thing that encouraged him to get up the following morning.

[songsoomin]

Begin Again Part 2 (A,F)

Word count: Around 6k

Idol! Jongho x Fem Reader, Best friend! Hongjoong. Reader has serious body confidence issues due to a past relationship but Jongho will help her through it. First two chapters will be angst with some fluff but a little smut will appear in chapter 3.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, both emotional and psychological, body shaming, anxiety issues. 

Author’s note: Reader is overweight but not as massive as she thinks she is. She has been conditioned through psychological abuse to believe she is very fat and unattractive. This is not intended to be the kind of story where reader becomes thin and is then happy and gets male attention (although, due to reader’s warped sense of self she does equate being thin with being happy). Even after losing some weight (for her own health and happiness) she is still somewhat overweight and curvy but the more important part is that she gets her confidence back and that is what makes her happier and more attractive. 

Part 1 Part 3

Posted 18th December 2020

@boss-baby-jongho​ Sorry it took so long

It had been a few months now since you and Jongho had been training together and you were much closer. You got on well with all the boys but Jongho was the closest to you now aside from Hongjoong. You still saw Hongjoong alone quite often - he would come over to your apartment and you'd watch movies and talk but you also spent plenty of time with all of them together.

This evening you had just come into the boys' dorm with Jongho after another gym session to the smell of cooking. You looked into the kitchen to find Seonghwa and Wooyoung cooking while Woo pestered the older boy like usual, telling him he was doing it all wrong. Hwa had his usual patient look on his face, completely used to Wooyoung's nonsense.

"Y/N!" Yunho called out in greeting . You could see he wanted to hug you like he usually would to others; he was such a warm, affectionate person but he knew it would make you uncomfortable. He settled for stroking your arm instead. You were getting much better at accepting physical affection from them these days. Hongjoong gave you your usual hug and Yunho looked sulkily at you.

"She'll get there, Yunho, just be patient. You'll get hugs soon." Hongjoong told the tall blue-haired boy and you had to laugh at how hopeful his face suddenly turned. You often referred to them as 'boys' but they were all grown men. You wouldn't think it sometimes, though, with how sulky they could get. Yunho and Mingi could appear intimidating with how big they were but really just loved cuddles, no matter who from. San loved his plushies and Woo was so playful and teasing that sometimes they seemed younger than they were. Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Yeosang seemed like the more mature of the group. Jongho was a bit of a mixture; he seemed mature despite being the youngest but he could be pouty sometimes. You were sure, however, that he just used that to get what he wanted. It usually worked, though, you could never deny him anything when he unleashed the full power of his pout.

Seonghwa had made tteokboki - your favourite - and you were all just eating and chatting happily but Mingi seemed quieter than usual and you could feel him watching you during dinner. The drinks had been flowing as none of you had to get up the next day and you felt comfortable enough now to ask him why on earth he'd been watching you so much.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't think you'd noticed."

"You weren't being that subtle, Mingi." You said, amused by his sheepish reply.

"I was just thinking...you always wear such baggy clothes but working out with Jongho must be working because they seem so much bigger on you now."

"You are looking smaller, Y/N." Hongjoong agreed.

"You think?" You asked, you had thought so but with wearing baggy clothes already it wasn't so easy to notice when they got baggier - at least to you...Mingi seemed to see it.

"Definitely." Jongho added, "There's no way my master-level instruction isn't working." You giggled while the others all groaned at his smug evaluation of his talents.

"Well, thanks, I guess...but why do you say so?" You asked Mingi uncertainly, naturally worrying it was something bad that caused him to bring it up. Did you still look that bad? You were hoping all your hard work would make you look better.

"There's nothing wrong if that's what you're comfortable in but I was just thinking it's a shame to hide all the hard work you've been doing."

"What do you mean?"

"Baggy clothes hide your real shape. Some people wear them because they are uncomfortable with their size but they tend to make a person look bigger than they are."

"Oh god, he's on about clothes again." Yeosang muttered.

Ignoring Yeosang's comment you felt your heart drop. Mingi could see exactly what you were doing and - worse - was calling you out on it in front of everyone. You looked down at your food not wanting to look anyone if them in the eye. You felt exposed having your size become the topic of discussion at the dinner table.

"You've made her feel bad, you moron!" Jongho said, glaring at Mingi.

"Calm down, Jongho, we all know you like - "

"Shut up!" Jongho warned, uncharacteristically ill-tempered.

"Well, as I was going to say...don't take it out on Mingi. You know he wouldn't have meant to upset Y/N."

"No! Of course not!" Mingi exclaimed, looking apologetic.

You were certainly confused. You'd never seen Jongho get worked up like that and couldn't see how it linked to what Mingi had said. Maybe what Yeosang was trying to say would've explained it but it was obviously something Jongho didn't want him to say.

"It's okay, Mingi. It's not your fault I'm so sensitive about it. Please continue with what you were saying."

"What I wanted to say is that you should let me take you out to get some clothes that would work much better on you." The brown-haired boy looked excited at the thought but to you even the thought was causing worry to rise in your chest.

"Oh, no. No. I'm no good at clothes shopping. Everything looks bad on me and I just end up crying."

"But..." Mingi continued, "I am very good at clothes shopping and I know exactly what will make you look good."

"You do?" You were still very uncertain about this but the alcohol was making you more suggestible.

"Excuse me? Have you ever seen me in a bad outfit?"

"Here it comes..." Mumbled Yeosang.

"I have never chosen a bad outfit in my whole life. I was born with amazing fashion sense." Mingi declared as the others all rolled their eyes at his overexaggerated claim.

"Uh...I don't know."

"Go on, Y/N... it'll be fun. As modest as he is..." Wooyoung stopped to shake his head at Mingi, "...he does actually know what he's doing when it comes to clothes."

"Okay. As long as I don't end up crying, though." You were already anxious and not really sure why you'd agreed to it.

"If you do it looks like Mingi will have Jongho to deal with." Wooyoung snorted.

In response Jongho stood quickly from the table and stalked down the hall to the room he shared with Mingi. You looked after him sadly. It was horrible seeing him upset. You had no idea what this was all about but it seemed like they were teasing him about something. You looked at the other boys with questioning eyes.

It was Seonghwa who answered your look, "Don't worry, Y/N. He'll be fine, he usually calms down quickly."

Later on when you and Hongjoong were alone in the kitchen doing the dishes you decided to ask your red-haired best friend about it.

"Joong?"

"Yeah?"

"What was Jongho so upset about?"

"Oh...uh...well, I probably shouldn't say anything...but I'm not sure if he ever will."

Hongjoong pondered his statement as he washed another plate. This was not clearing anything up at all.

"I'm not following."

"He likes you." Hongjoong said putting the plate on the drainer for you to dry up.

"I like him, too. He's really fun to be around."

"No, I mean he likes you." Hongjoong emphasised, looking you dead in the eye.

You were stunned. Why would Joongie think that?

"Don't be ridiculous." You scolded him lightly.

"I mean it!" He defended.

"It's not that. He's probably just feeling protective as we've got closer now. No one likes their friends being upset." You nodded to yourself at your more correct assessment of the situation. Anything else was simply unbelievable to you. No one ever thought of you like that. Least of all someone as perfect as Jongho.

                                                     ********

The next morning you woke up feeling just slightly hungover as you'd all continued drinking further into the evening. All except Jongho, of course. He didn't come back out and that really put a damper on your evening. However, you weren't feeling too bad until you remember that you'd agreed to let Mingi take you shopping. You groaned loudly and tried to work out how to get out of it before deciding you'd have to go because you really didn't like flaking out on people.

Noticing the time you quickly had breakfast and showered before dressing as you always did - baggy to hide your shape and size. You couldn't see how it was possible to look better in clothes that actually showed your figure but hoped Woo was right when he said Mingi knew his stuff when it came to clothes.

You were pretty much done when you heard a knock on your apartment door. You rushed over to open it and found Mingi on the other side, smiling brightly at you.

"Ready?" he asked, voice as deep as ever.

"No." Truthfully you were dreading it.

"Well we're still doing it so come on." Unceremoniously, he grabbed your wrist with his big hand and pulled you out the door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming..." You laughed, "Just let me lock my door before we go."

                                                  ********

"Y/N...are you ever going to come out?"

"I'm really not sure about this, Mingi."

You were standing in front of the full-length mirror in the changing room, uncomfortable with what was reflected back at you.

"I picked out the perfect outfits for you so I can't imagine what you're not sure of." The tall brunette said matter-of-factly.

"It's just so...tight."

"Exactly. It will show off your figure perfectly."

"Mingi!" You yelled as he suddenly whipped the dressing room curtain back.

"See? You look amazing."

You looked at him skeptically as he smiled widely, appreciating his work.

"You're lying."

Mingi's smile faded and he sighed. "Y/N, you're not seeing yourself clearly at all. You have a great figure...amazing curves." He added, looking you up and down.

"Mingi, are you checking me out?" You joked, "I'm going to have to watch you."

"What?" He said defensively, "You look good."

Embarrassment came over you as you were only joking so you didn't expect Mingi's response. He, however, was not embarrassed and continued on a little more seriously.

"I know you don't think so but it's true."

The change in atmosphere caught you off guard. You'd only ever seen Mingi in a playful mood so to see him turn serious and caring was different.

"Thank you, Mingi."

The brunette smiled in response and you could see that he meant it even if you had trouble believing it. You thanks were sincere, though, because, aside from Hongjoong, you weren't used to anyone offering praise to you.

"You definitely need to get this outfit. It's looks great and makes you look a lot smaller than those awful baggy clothes you wear. Next outfit!"

Mingi pulled the curtain shut while you reluctantly did as ordered and started changing in to the next set of clothes. In truth, though, part of you was excited and enjoying the shopping trip with Mingi. The confidence you once had was buried deep down but you knew it was still there and maybe this could help you find it again. You used to love all the attention you got from boys when you got dressed up and you wanted that feeling back. That was why you let Mingi talk you into getting all the clothes he'd picked out for you.

                                                   ********

A low whistle sounded as you entered the boys' dorm with Mingi pushing you through the door as you'd felt too nervous to go in looking so different to usual. You had tried to turn and run away but Mingi was too big and strong.

You were in the first outfit he'd picked out for you which was a pair of tight-fitting jeans and a top cut lower than you were used to but not too revealing. You weren't used to the way the clothes hugged your curves and felt self-conscious because you were so used to hiding underneath baggy clothes but you could see what Mingi had been trying to tell you. You did look a lot better in fitted clothes than the shapeless ones you usually wore. You looked like a girl again.

You looked up to see that the whistle had come from Wooyoung, who was now appreciating your newly revealed figure.

"It's really nice," the darker-haired male said, "...Mingi, you chose well."

"Don't I always?" Mingi said in response, clearly proud of his work.

Just as you were trying to extract yourself from this new attention a sharp slap on your behind made you gasp and spin around.

"San!" You shreiked at the blonde, who didn't look the least bit sorry.

"Looking good, Y/N."

You really should've scolded him for smacking you but he always looked so cheeky and cute you couldn't really bring yourself to.

"Thanks, San...but don't do that again."

"Why not? In those jeans it looks too good not to." He said, motioning to your bum with both hands.

"She's not a piece of meat, San." Jongho said, annoyance lacing his tone. "And you can't just touch someone like that without their permission."

You and San both turned, neither of you having noticed the youngest's silent entrance.

San looked at Jongho with one eyebrow raised as if he wanted to say something snarky but instead turned to you and said,

'We're friends...it's fine, isn't it Y/N?"

"It's fine but I meant it when I said don't do it again - it really hurt." You gave San a look so he would know you meant it but you really didn't mind that much. You appreciated the sentiment, just didn't like the pain.

Jongho, on the other hand, was not convinced. He looked at San for a moment longer, huffed unhappily, then left the room.

It made you a little unhappy to see Jongho like that. He'd been a little weird lately. Distant. When you were at the gym together he was just the same as always but around the other boys he wasn't the same. He seemed sulky and spent more time in his room. What really hurt most was that he didn't talk to you as much in front of the others.

It's true that with them there, there wasn't as much chance to talk together but after your coffee 'date' he had made more effort to be closer to you - so what had changed now?

Thinking back you remembered the others teasing him and Hongjoong saying  Jongho liked you. Could that be it? You didn't see how; what Hongjoong said couldn't have been true so you had just ignored it. At the gym it hadn't made it awkward between you but was that why Jongho was distancing himself around the others...to stop them from teasing him? Maybe you could try talking to him; he had become a really good friend to you and you didn't want a simple misunderstanding to get in the way of that.

The chance to talk to Jongho didn't come that evening as he had come back out of his room to eat with everyone but there were so many of you that it was impossible to talk alone. You could have gone somewhere private to talk but you didn't want to give Yeosang and Wooyoung even more reason to tease him.

Although you were still worrying about Jongho, you still had a great evening. It had made you a little self-conscious but you had to admit that you liked  being told you looked good and feeling like your hard work was paying off.

Well...the evening was great until Mingi made a horrifying suggestion.

"Hey! Y/N has some really nice clothes now - courtesy of my incredible fashion sense, of course - so we should all go out and celebrate her hard work."

A communal groan was heard around the room at his less than modest statement but, for the most part, everyone agreed.

"What do you have in mind, Mingi?" Seonghwa enquired, ready to put a stop to any plans that sounded too crazy.

"Let's go to a club!" The excitement was clear on Mingi's face but anxiety was creeping on to yours.

"No." You said firmly as they all turned to you to see what you thought. "No clubs."

"What?

"Why not?"

San and Wooyoung complained in unison, obviously not happy with your opinion.

"Y/N..." Mingi looked at you with a pout, "we got you such nice clothes, why do you not want to show them off?"

You shifted on the couch, uncomfortably.

"It's nothing to do with the clothes...it's the people. Too many people. I just don't like clubs."

"Well," Hongjoong interjected, "strictly speaking it's not the clubs you dislike. I remember you used to love going out and dancing so if we chose a club that's less crowded then you should be okay."

You shot your supposed best friend a look of betrayal.

"Then we should do that!" Mingi cried, excitement flaring up again.

"Please Y/N?" San pouted at you.

"Don't worry about all the other people; we'll all be there to look after you."

Wooyoung added on and with all three of them looking at you with such hope, you found yourself giving in again.

"Fine...but I'm not going to enjoy it." You declared sulkily, slumping back into the couch cushions while the three boys cheered. You didn't miss Hongjoong quietly looking pleased with himself for his latest victory in 'getting you out there again'.

He was right, though you hated to admit it, you did used to love dancing but over the years your enjoyment of clubs diminished along with your confidence. Your dislike of them now was based on the assumption that people would judge you. Laugh at you for getting dressed up and trying to look nice when really you were just a fat mess. Laugh at you trying to dance. You had never been what anyone would call graceful - clumsiness and a poor sense of balance making that impossible. You didn't used to care about that but with no self-confidence you started to focus on every bad aspect of yourself.

While you were inside your own head worrying about all this, the others were busy making plans.

"Y/N!" Wooyoung called out, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"Sorry, what?"

"I said I know just the right club for you. It's got great music but it's a little more expensive so all the kids go elsewhere. It's never uncomfortably packed and doesn't get as rowdy."

You nodded and smiled but it had done little to relax you. Honestly you missed the old days you used to go out dancing confidently. When you looked in the mirror and thought you looked nice and didn't worry about if other people agreed or not. Now that you'd agreed, all you could do was make the best of it. You knew the eight boys would look after you and you'd never not enjoyed a night with them. Maybe it would be fun.

                                                     ********

Club night came and you were feeling strangely calm about it. A little nervous but mostly excited to spend another night with the best eight friends you'd ever had.

They had all arrived at your apartment unannounced - Mingi citing his concerns about what clothes you would chose, as if only he knew how to put an outfit together. He said he'd have to approve your outfit before he could let you out; you merely answered him with a roll of your eyes and let him get on with it.

Rather than falling back into your old habit of hiding yourself in baggy clothes, you had actually decided to go for it in terms of dressing up - after all, if you were going out, you might as well make the effort. It had also occurred to you that maybe people were more likely to look at you if you looked out of place, one person in shapeless, baggy clothes in a whole club full of well-dressed people.

Mingi looked you up and down, appraising your outfit. You had chosen a short(ish) black skirt and a sparkly top which showed a nice amount of cleavage but not too much. You'd even broken out your push-up bra for added effect. The outfit was finished with a pair of black heels because if there was one thing you knew, it was that heels made your legs look slimmer. You'd even done the kind of make up you used to with eyeliner and subtle false eyelashes. Why not go all out? you thought; you'd forgotten how nice it felt to get dressed up.

Mingi smiled and gave you the nod so you were good to go. Hongjoong, knowing you would be nervous, made sure to tell you how good he thought you looked and the others all agreed in their own ways. Seonghwa, Yunho and Yeosang nodding in quiet agreement while Mingi, San and Wooyoung  were more vocal about it. The only one who didn't say anything was Jongho - publicly, at least. It was only when the others were out of earshot that he quietly came closer,

"You look really nice tonight."

The blonde boy you'd grown so close to looked quite awkward but you still assumed it was because he didn't want the other boys to tease him again. Why else would he wait until the others couldn't hear him.

"Thank you, Jongho." You replied, feeling as awkward as he looked. "You look really good, yourself."

You looked at Jongho, dressed in black jeans and a dark blue button up shirt with his dark blonde hair parted to show his forehead, making his beautiful dark eyes looking bigger than usual because they were more on show. He looked amazing. He was so handsome it almost hurt.

You felt more awkward with Jongho's compliment...maybe because it meant more to you. You'd had a sneaking suspicion for the last few weeks that you were starting to like him as more than a friend but you'd tried to ignore it because you couldn't imagine it going anywhere. You'd witnessed him get angry when the others teased him about liking you and the only logical reason for that was that the thought of liking you was an unwelcome one.

It was true that Joong had said Jongho liked you but you were sure he was mistaken because of the distance he was keeping from you as well as his general moodiness recently. None of it mattered anyway because, as far as you could see, there was such a vast difference between Jongho and yourself that he couldn't possibly like you.

At best you were ordinary, nothing special at all but Jongho...he was ethereal. His smile was so cute that you couldn't help but smile back when you saw it and his eyes shone so brightly. Yet despite the cuteness he still had a maturity some of the older boys didn't. He was so strong, too and, to be honest, you found that really, really hot.

It wasn't just how he looked, though, Jongho was a wonderful person. He was clever and funny and he'd given you so much help and asked nothing in return. What would someone like that want with someone like you?

                                                 ********

Clubs were as hot, sweaty and loud as you remembered. It had been some time since you'd gone to one - preferring to hide away  at home than go out and be surrounded by people. That's depression's survival instinct...to cut you off from the world so you won't seek help. To keep you away from friends who could help you. Thank goodness for Hongjoong because he wasn't letting you get away with that and without him you'd still be hiding away. Miserable. Clubs might not be the most comfortable place for you due to the overcrowding but you knew that you'd be ok with Hongjoong by your side - as well as the other seven boys you'd now come to think of as 'yours'.

Maybe it was the fun of being out with them all but you'd found it easier than you'd thought to relax and enjoy yourself. You'd even managed to keep away from thoughts that anyone looking at you was judging you...until you noticed a guy at the bar had been looking for a bit too long. You were waiting for the bartender to get your drink and hoping he would do it more quickly so you could get back to the others but luck was not on your side and the guy started to approach.

"Hi."

You looked at the guy for a second. Tall, fairly good looking and he seemed friendly from his tone as he greeted you but you felt a little panicked, nonetheless.

"Umm...Hi." You managed nervously.

He smiled, "You looked really good dancing just now."

You waited for the smirk or laugh to reveal he was being sarcastic but it didn't come. You hadn't yet got to a place where you trusted people meant what they said but when nothing else was said and he appeared to have meant it you quickly thanked him. You'd left a longer gap than was normal before replying and now your worry was that he thought you were slow-witted.

"Are you with all those guys over there?"

"Yeah...they're my friends." You told him, glancing over and smiling.

"You're not going out with any of them?" He pressed on.

"No, we're just friends." You said, shaking your head.

"Ah. Well one of them is really glaring at me right now. I'd say he doesn't like me talking to you."

You looked in the same direction as the guy and, sure enough, saw Jongho looking very much less than friendly.

"Oh, we're quite close so he's probably just worrying about me. You are a stranger, after all." An awkward laugh left you - small talk was not your forte.

The man smiled back and looked about to say something more but the bartender finally returned with your drink.

"Well, it was nice meeting you." You said as you started backing away. You really wanted to be back with your boys; you were still far too socially inept to be in this kind of situation without back up.

"What did that guy want?" Jongho demanded as soon as you were back.

"Dunno...just being friendly, I guess."

The dark blonde scoffed while San jumped in to tease, "Ooh, Y/N's on the pull!"

"Don't be ridiculous, San!" You squealed in horror.

"I'm just saying..." the blonde continued, "...guys don't approach women in clubs because they want to be 'friends'." He emphasised that last word so you'd have no problem undersanding what he meant.

"I'm getting another drink." Jongho grunted before stalking off in the direction of the bar. You sighed. He still didn't seem himself.

"I'm sure he was just being nice." You said naively. It wasn't that you didn't know what men were usually after in clubs but you honestly didn't imagine anyone wanting that from you.

"Suuure he was." A deep voice cut in.

"Don't you start, Mingi!" Your new fashion adviser laughed as you scolded him. "All of you manage to be friends with me without wanting anything more so why can't he?"

Smiling smugly, you felt you'd won the argument until the tall brunette leaned in closer,

"We're all still men, though. I might be your friend but if you asked, I'd fuck you right now and I'm pretty sure one or two of the other guys would, too."

The only way to describe the look on your face was dumbfounded. That was absolutely not something you would've expected to hear from any of them.

"Whatever, I'm going to dance again."

It can't have been possible for you to look any more flustered as you headed back to the others on the dance floor, with Mingi's deep chuckle following behing you.

As the night wore on you really were enjoying yourself much more than you expected but that could have a lot to do with the amount of alcohol you had consumed so far. You were even relaxed to the point that you didn't notice the guy from the bar dancing next to you, getting closer and closer. Soon he was dancing with you but you didn't mind too much as long as he didn't start getting touchy. The attention was nice, at least. You vaguely thought back to what San had said and sighed internally because you didn't want him to have been right but you had to acknowledge it now. Maybe between Jongho's training and Mingi's outfits, they really had managed to make you look alright.

But men were disappointingly typical and, not long after getting close, the guy started to get handsy. You barely had time to turn around and tell him to stop before you felt his hands disappear suddenly. When you had turned you saw said man looking confused - and slightly pained - as one of his wrists was being held aloft by a very pissed off looking Jongho.

The guy looked at Jongho cautiously before saying, "Hey, I'm sorry man...I didn't realise she was your girl."

You could see why the guy was looking worried - Jongho looked pretty scary and you wondered just how tightly he was gripping the man's wrist.

Jongho let go but didn't stop glaring and the man backed away a little.

"She's not but don't you think you should still ask her before you start feeling her up?"

"Sorry...I didn't mean any harm." The guy answered, looking between Jongho's hard face and your quite confused one before walking away quickly. You turned back to Jongho; you really appreciated him looking out for you but couldn't understand why he was so angry.

"Jongho...what -"

"You shouldn't let random guys touch you like that, Y/N!"

You stared at him for a few seconds, a bit stunned until his sharp tone set off your own anger at being chided like that.

"I was turning around to stop him but, to be honest, it's not really any of your business who I let touch me!"

Jongho's eyes widened a little, taken aback by your reaction. You'd always had a temper but none of the boys except Hongjoong had ever seen you get angry. They only knew your milder, more timid side and the quickness in which you turned had taken them all by surprise. In your peripheral vision you could see the rest of them watching the exchange between the two of you.

The dark blonde collected himself and continued with a slightly less angry tone.

"These guys aren't good enough for you. It's just like San said, they only want one thing."

From the corner of your eye you saw San bristle slightly as if he really didn't want to be brought into this now.

"That's my decision to make, though, isn't it Jongho?" You hadn't softened much towards him - now you were free you didn't need another man telling you what to do.

"I know, I'm sorry..." He continued, more softly now, "...but you shouldn't be with guys like that."

"And you know exactly who I should be with?" You asked, sarcasm in your tone. "By all means tell me because I can't see men lining up to date me."

"Me."

"What?"

"You should be with me. I really like you, Y/N."

You stood in silence, trying to make sense of what he just said. Your mind recalled all the things you had previously dismissed as nonsense. Hongjoong telling you outright that Jongho liked you. Yeosang and Wooyoung teasing him about you. Had it not just been baseless teasing? He actually liked you?

Of course he doesn't like you. Who would want you?

"You don't like me." You said shaking your head. You didn't want to believe it because you couldn't trust it.

"I do. Let me show you." Jongho took a step closer and out of habit you fliched away from the closeness.

"What are you doing?" Slight alarm laced your tone.

"I'm going to kiss you." His tone added the silent 'of course'.

You froze at the words and Jongho noticed. It was out of surprise but he must've thought you didn't want him to as he started to look unsure of himself.

"If you don't want me to, all you have to do is say."

He paused, waiting for a 'no' that was never going to come. As much as you feared this was all some elaborate joke, you really did want this.

Hearing no protests, Jongho lifted his hands and placed them gently on the sides of your neck, his thumbs resting on your cheeks. Slowly he leaned down and pulled you closer. As you closed your eyes you prayed this was real and you weren't going to hear them all burst into laughter at any minute but before your fears could be realised, you felt Jongho's lips touch yours.

They were softer than you had imagined - and you had imagined it - and for someone so strong, he was remarkably gently. You could feel that he was being cautious as he didn't try to deepen the kiss, he just pulled back ever so slightly then reconnected, his lips moving softly against yours. When he did pull back to end the kiss, you kept your eyes closed a moment longer, not wanting it to end.

When you did open them you looked up at Jongho to find him looking back at you. He was searching your face for any sign that that wasn't what you had wanted and after a few moments  he was satisfied he could see nothing and gave you a small, somewhat shy smile. Obviously having heard something behind him over the music, his smile disappeared and was replaced by a look of annoyance. Following where he looked you saw the seven other boys all looking at the two of you with varied emotions on their faces, ranging fron happiness and surprise to approval. They had all known he liked you while you had stubbornly refused to see it - even when you were told outright.

Jongho turned back to you with a softer look, "You wanna go somewhere quieter - away from everyone else?"

"Yeah...that'd be nice."

Jongho took your hand in his larger one and led you out of the club. He had touched you before, of course, but only when correcting your stance during workouts. This felt different. It made your heard beat faster and gave you butterflies..

You briefly looked behind you to the others, noting that they looked slightly disappointed that you were both going but they'd get over it.

You and Jongho ended up back in the same coffee shop that first time. It was late, though, so you had the whole place to yourselves. Despite that being the first time you had properly talked alone with him, this was much more nerve-wracking. This wasn't a situation you'd have thought would ever happen. Despite what had just happened in the club you still couldn't let go of your fear. It was as instinctive reaction for you now, to just assume the worst about everything and everybody no matter how good they seemed to be. Just like right now you were quite aware that the both of you had been drinking - had that played a part for him? Would he have kissed you if he hadn't been? And would he think it was a mistake tomorrow?

The butterflies flew around wildly as the dark blonde boy made his way back to the table with the drinks. As he placed the tray down on the table you saw he had also bought a slice of red velvet cake like last time and he smiled as he placed it down. You wondered if he was trying to recreate it that first 'date' of sorts. It had felt special to you - maybe he had felt the same.

Your thoughts were flying as wildly as the butterflies in your stomach, going from hopeful that Jongho really did like you to fear that he was going to say it was just because he had been drinking and he'd got carried away.

Sitting there you'd realised the full extent of your feelings for Jongho...did he feel the same? The look in his eyes was soft as he looked at you and smiled. God, you hoped this meant what you wanted it to. Either way, it looked like you were about to find out as he opened his mouth to speak...

[comic-book-jawns]

A Hard Day’s Night

After being unusually distant all day, Jamie tries to go for a midnight walk alone in the middle of the night. Dani objects, leading to their first major fight. CW: panic attack

“What’s going on?”

Dani walked out of the bathroom in her pajamas to find Jamie retying her boots.

“I just need some air. Don’t wait up.”

“You just went for a walk.”

Jamie had gone out after dinner and come back almost two hours later and now here she was just over two hours later pulling on a coat.

“Didn’t do the trick, I guess.”

Jamie, who’d been avoiding her gaze now turned around and grabbed the doorknob leading out of their studio apartment.

In the intervening two hours, they’d watched TV. Jamie hadn’t seemed in the cuddling mood, so they’d simple sat side-by-side on the futon, nor had she offered any of her usual color or off-color commentary. At some point, Dani had looked over and given her a small smile, trying to test the waters, and Jamie had leaned over and kissed her.

It’s not that Dani had minded exactly, but Jamie was rarely that impulsive, and she’d looked rather desperate, dejected even. It was further proof that she wasn’t herself, but before Dani could act, Jamie herself had abruptly pulled back with a whimper, pale and wide-eyed.

“I - I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Dani had reached over, but Jamie had shifted just out of her reach and faced forward, hugging her knees. Sighing, Dani had turned her attention back to the TV, not that she’d really been able to focus on it at all since they’d turned it on.

They’d sat in silence again until Dani had said she was going to get ready for bed. Jamie had nodded and now here they were.

“No.”

“Dani - ”

“It’s almost midnight, Jamie. And it’s freezing.”

“Not gonna be able to sleep anyway.”

“Fine, then I’m coming with you.”

Dani started walking over. Jamie sighed and turned around.

“No, you need your sleep, and I - I need to do this alone.”

Dani stopped just a foot from her.

“Do what?”

Her tone wasn’t harsh, but it was firm. Jamie looked down.

“Nothin’. Just... I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“No, it’s not okay! You can’t ignore me all day and then wander off in the middle of the night!”

“I’m not!” Jamie cut herself off, clenching her fists and closing her eyes, and took a deep breath. “It’s not like that.”

As Jamie opened her eyes, she saw Dani’s hands take hers.

“Then tell me what’s it like. Please, talk me.”

Jamie tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat, but her voice still came out shaky.

“I’m not tryna hurt ya.”

She felt Dani squeeze her hands.

“I know that.” Dani sighed. “But if I - ”

Jamie finally looked up, shaking her head.

“I meant what I said this mornin’. You’ve not done anythin’ wrong.”

“Then tell me what I can do to help.”

Jamie could see Dani’s eyes starting to glisten. She hated herself for it, and she hated herself even more for what she was about to do.

“You can’t. I’m sorry.”

She turned back around and reached for the doorknob.

“Jamie!”

“Please don’t wait up.”

She didn’t look back as she closed the door behind her.

*****

Dani cupped Jamie’s clammy cheek as her head jerked back from her chest.

“Jamie, you’re okay! You’re safe. You’re with me.”

Dani had become accustomed to Jamie’s post-nightmare disorientation and panic over the past several months. But she wasn't sure she'd ever seen her this wild-eyed and putting Jamie’s head against her chest hadn’t calmed her down like it normally did. She could still feel Jamie shaking and could even feel herself trembling slightly.

“You’re at The Leafling. You had a bad dream.”

She brushed away a few damp curls stuck to Jamie's face. After several moments, Dani felt Jamie’s pulse starting to slow, her breathing starting to regulate, albeit to just a step down from hyperventilation. After a few more moments, her eyes became more focused and then zeroed in on her.

“How... ”

Her voice sounded hoarse. Dani raised an eyebrow.

“Did you really think I was just gonna go to sleep?”

Jamie held her gaze for a moment, then hung her head.

“No.”

Jamie felt her cheeks start to heat up beneath tear tracks and cold sweat. She realized that Dani was holding her up. Jamie’s legs were stretched out on the coach in the back room she vaguely remembered sitting down on after walking around town, pacing really. But Dani was supporting her entire upper body, which was turned sideways toward Dani. Jamie sighed.

“I’m sorry.”

Dani laughed. It wasn’t her normal laugh, though, more of a cough.

“For what exactly?”

Dani wasn’t mad, a bit weary maybe, but not mad, not in the way she should’ve been, at least — the way she had every right to be. Dani was bringing Jamie back to her chest before Jamie even processed she was crying again.

“Shh... it’s okay.”

Jamie shook her head violently, as violently as she could with Dani now cradling it.

“I’m sorry.”

It came out as more of a wail this time.

“I know, honey. I know.”

Jamie swallowed hard, then gasped, her limbs still jerking.

“I - I need to - ”

“Okay.”

Without another word, Dani helped her sit up. Jamie shakily swung her legs down onto the floor, faced forward, buried her face in her hands and closed her eyes.

“Breathe, Jamie. Breathe.”

Jamie tried to focus on Dani slowly rubbing her back. After a few minutes, she started to get her sobbing under control, and her breathing along with it. She cleared her throat, brought her hands down and opened her eyes. She was still shaking, but she realized now that it was partially shivering. The heat was on, but it was still winter and she'd soaked her shirt through beneath her coat.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Jamie - ”

“I should’a just told you.”

Jamie’s voice broke.

“About Mikey?”

Jamie jerked her head up and looked over, tears still streaming down her face. She felt Dani’s hand freeze on her back. Dani looked uncomfortable, almost guilty.

“You - you said his name a few times... when you were... Mine, too.”

Jamie looked back down, sniffling.

“So today, er, yesterday, I guess - ”

“His birthday.” Jamie sighed. “It was his birthday.”

She didn’t want it to, but her chest felt lighter already. She felt Dani start to rub her back again.

“He’s 21 now... if he’s still... ”

Jamie tried to clear her throat, but the sob came out before she could stop it. She buried her face in her hands once more. She felt Dani slide closer and put her other hand on her shoulder, rubbing it gently too.

After a couple minutes, Jamie composed herself again, more or less — wringing her hands as she stared at the floor.

“I like to be alone on... ” She swallowed. “The day because - ”

“You like to punish yourself.”

Jamie looked over and opened her mouth, but then closed it again and looked back down. She nodded after a moment.

“Well, that’s not gonna fly with me.”

Jamie laughed shakily, then sniffled, sat back and turned to Dani, who kept her hand on Jamie’s shoulder.

“How’d ya find me?”

Dani smiled slightly.

“Well, I was going to follow you, but then I realized I could see you out the window. And I knew you wouldn’t get far, especially in this... ”

Dani gestured to her, and Jamie laughed shakily again. Ironically, she hadn’t dressed quite as warmly for her second venture out as she had for her first. And it was January in Vermont.

“And then I realized you were walking in circles, basically, so I waited for you to settle somewhere.” Dani faced forward. “And I saw you head in this direction, so I figured... ” Dani exhaled. “But I didn’t come right away. I didn’t want to upset you more. And I... ” Dani swallowed and looked down at the floor. “And I guess I was still kinda mad at you, too.”

Dani took a shaky breath. Jamie reached over and put a hand on Dani’s knee, squeezing it with as much force her trembling hand could muster.

“I should've come sooner. You were - you were... it was bad.”

“Hey, no. Dani, look at me."

Dani slowly looked over, tears starting to trickle down from her blue-brown eyes.

"You didn’t have to come at all.”

Dani shook her head.

“Ya didn’t. I tried to push you away, and that’s on me, not you.”

Dani sniffled and took a deep breath.

“When I finally got here, you were... it took awhile... longer than it normally does... but eventually... ”

Jamie faced forward, keeping her hand on Dani’s knee. She felt the lump in throat returning.

“What time is it?”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Dani wipe her face, then get up and open the door to the main room.

The store wasn’t actually in business yet, still under construction. But they’d set up the back room as a kind of base of operations.

Jamie looked over properly. It was still dark outside but not pitch black. Jamie cleared her throat and stood up.

“We need to get ya home.”

“Wait.”

Dani turned back and took Jamie’s hand, then took a deep breath.

“I know I can be... persistent.”

“Dani - ”

Dani gave her a look that said she wasn’t done.

“Sorry.”

“I know I can be persistent. I know sometimes you’re gonna need space, and you’re not gonna want to talk... but you can’t - you can’t just shut me out, not like this.”

Jamie looked down, nodding.

“I know." She sighed. "I’m so sorry.”

“Good. Apology accepted.”

Dani turned back around, lifting her other arm as she stretched. Jamie looked up in near-disbelief.

“That’s... it?”

Dani turned around, surprised.

“Do you want to talk more? We can. I just - I wasn’t sure - ”

“No, I mean... I just meant... we’re - we’re good?”

Dani’s expression softened. She squeezed Jamie’s hand.

“I am if you are.”

Jamie brought her free hand up to wipe her face as she felt fresh tears fall. After a moment, she nodded, sniffling.

Dani smiled.

“C’mon.”

*****

“Jamie, what are you doing?”

Almost an hour had passed. Knowing Jamie usually ate first thing in the morning, Dani had asked if she could make them breakfast, and Jamie had, of course, readily obliged after she'd taken a hot shower, also at Dani's insistence. She’d grown quiet again but not distant, offering small smiles here and there.

But now as Dani finally lied down on the futon, she watched Jamie sit down in front of it.

“I don’t really want to go back to sleep.”

Dani slid forward, grabbed the remote off their nightstand and turned on the TV.

“Here, put on whatever you want.”

“Dani - ”

As Jamie turned around, Dani put the remote on the edge of the futon and then patted the space in front of her. She saw Jamie’s eyes widen.

“You sure?”

Her voice was small.

“Yes,” Dani answered, mid-yawn.

She watched Jamie shyly take the remote, a ghost of a smile on her lips, pull herself up and lie down in front of her. Dani slid even closer, wrapping her arm around Jamie’s waist and kissed the back of her head.

“If you move a muscle before I wake up - ”

“I won’t.”

Dani had meant it as a joke, but Jamie sounded almost choked up. Dani lifted her hand off Jamie’s stomach and brought it to her neck.

She started scratching softly, and Jamie immediately giggled and squirmed. Dani scoffed.

“Jamie! What did I just say?”

But Dani continued to tickle her, laughing along with Jamie, who was struggling to catch her breath it seemed.

“Dani... ” The remote fell to the floor as Jamie lost the last of her grip strength. “Dani, please.”

Dani finally let up, and Jamie started to recover. Laughing still, she leaned down to pick up the remote and then settled back against Dani. She cleared her throat.

“Thanks, Poppins.”

Smiling, Dani wrapped her arms around Jamie’s waist once more and closed her eyes.

“Night, Jay.”

*****

Dani woke up to the smell of coffee and the absence of Jamie. Blinking a few more times — the blinds were still closed but sunlight was now streaming through — she propped her head up and spotted Jamie standing the kitchen, pouring out the pot into a mug.

As she watched, Jamie put the pot down on the counter, turned around, saw her and froze like a deer in headlights. Dani sat up properly, swung her legs over and put a hand out as she stood up.

“Jamie, relax.”

“I could tell you were startin’ to wake up. So I - I thought ya might - ”

Dani smiled.

“I know, honey. Thank you.”

She was almost to her.

“Didn’t mean to - ”

“I know.”

Dani put her hands around Jamie’s, which were trembling slightly, jostling the coffee.

“I’m not mad.”

She spoke softly. Jamie nodded. Dani sighed.

“Why are you acting like you’re scared of me?”

“I’m not!”

Jamie’s eyes widened even more. Dani carefully took the mug out of her hands, put it on the counter behind them and cupped Jamie’s face.

“Jamie... I’m not going anywhere... You apologized, and you stayed... That’s all you had to do... I don’t need anything else. We’re good.”

Jamie opened her mouth, seemingly to object, but then closed it. Her eyes were still giving her away, though. Dani sighed.

“Okay, if you want to do something, you can stop being so hard on yourself... I don’t want that, especially not on my account... So can do you that... for me?”

After a moment, Jamie nodded. Dani leaned up on her tiptoes, kissed Jamie’s forehead and finally felt her start to relax.

Dani took a deep breath. She would’ve said what she was about to say earlier in the day, but she hadn’t wanted to overwhelm Jamie in her already fragile state. It had only been a couple weeks since she’d said it for the first time.

But now she knew Jamie needed to hear it, to be reminded that it wasn’t conditional.

“I love you.”

She saw Jamie’s lips twitch upward, but then start to tremble. She heard her breath starting to catch as she heaved back a sob.

Dani smiled softly.

“C’mere.”

She wrapped her arms around Jamie, rubbing her back and smoothing her hair. She could tell Jamie was still trying to hold back.

“It’s okay, Jamie. It's okay.”

She then felt Jamie bury her face into her shoulder as she let herself feel it. They stayed like for awhile, until Jamie had cried her fill and slowly pulled back, wiping her face and smiling sheepishly.

Smiling herself, Dani reached behind her, grabbed the now rather tepid cup of coffee and took a sip.

“Actually, I do have one more request.”

Jamie nodded vigorously as she sniffled.

“Can you start making fun of me again?”

Jamie laughed, finally, though she sounded even hoarser now, and Dani almost regretted asking. Jamie cleared her throat.

“Are ya really askin’ me that while drinkin’ flavored water?”

Dani giggled.

“That’s what tea is, too!”

Smirking, Jamie raised an eyebrow.

“You tryna start another fight, Poppins?”

[woah-were-halfway-there]

Can you do one where Mia gets a bad cold or something and you freak out and take her to the emergency room because Auston is away on a road trip or something but everything is obviously ok with her.

A/N: Yesssss of course, here you are my dear!

Word Count: 2k

The chances of you sleeping at all that night were slim to none.

Mia had come down with some sort of cold, and it was taking a lot out of her. What started as the sniffles just the day before, soon turned into a nasty cough and an all-around uncomfortableness that really showed.

Gone was your bubbly toddler who was so amazed by the world around her and replaced by a way less upbeat version of herself that refused to leave your side. Not like you wanted to be away from her either, though.

It wasn’t the first time Mia had gotten sick and surely wouldn’t be the last, but you weren’t expecting it to be as bad as it was. You felt terrible, but what made it even worse was how Auston knew nothing about his daughter’s state.

He was in New York for an away game against the Islanders and wasn’t expected to return home until the following day. When the two of you Facetimed earlier that afternoon, he witnessed just how clingy Mia was with you. She kept quiet, not being as chatty as she usually was with her dad while she leaned against your shoulder and cuddled her stuffed whale. Auston knew it was because she wasn’t feeling well, you made sure to tell him that, but because of how busy he was with having to go to practice and play hockey, you weren’t able to give him any updates on Mia’s condition. Which, unfortunately, had only gotten worse.

Whenever she coughed, you could tell it wasn’t comfortable with how she’d look at you with teary eyes before hiding her face in the crook of your neck. Your heart was breaking just watching her, so you immediately called your doctor for some guidance. When you called, the office was due to close in less than half an hour, and you knew there was no way you’d make it through Downtown Toronto traffic in time to get there. Calling was your best option at the time and did help temporarily.

Your doctor told you that honey should help with Mia’s cough and how it was safer than ordinary cough medicines for a child her age. After giving Mia some honey, she then said for you just to watch and see if your daughter got worse or developed any more symptoms. If she did, you were advised to take her to the hospital’s emergency room to get the proper care she may need. You absolutely hated the thought of a hospital trip being a possible outcome but still did as you were told and waited to see what would happen.

The honey helped. After giving it to Mia and explaining how it would help make her better, her cough became less aggressive and seemingly less painful, putting your daughter in a much better mood. She was still very clingy with you for the rest of the evening, which was fine because you knew she still didn’t feel great.

When it came to bedtime, she did not want to sleep in her room at all.

“No, mommy,” she pouted and clung on to you harder when you went to set her in her crib for the night.

“Oh, baby girl, you want to stay with me until you fall asleep?”

She nodded in response, and there was no way you could argue. You and Auston developed a bedtime routine for Mia that she had done really well sticking too. It was still a bit early for her to transition from a crib to an actual toddler bed. However, she had gotten used to going to bed in her own room at the same time each night without you or Auston being nearby until she fell asleep. However, this night was very different, and there was no way you were going to force her routine. So, you settled on taking her back downstairs to watch a Disney movie, knowing the songs would probably put her to sleep like they usually did, but even that didn’t happen.

Throughout the film, you would glance down at your daughter as she stayed curled up beside her and see how she was fighting to keep her eyes open. She was utterly exhausted, but whatever it was she was feeling kept her awake, and you hated it. Even Frank seemed to know something was up with how he laid on the couch near Mia and was always nearby wherever you took her.

As the movie came to an end, she looked up at you with sleepy eyes, and it felt like your heart shattered into a million pieces.

“My sweet girl, I’m sorry you’re not feeling good,” you said as you went to rub your hand through the mop of dark hair, she had grown but paused when your fingers brushed her forehead and felt how hot she was. “Oh, no.”

You were immediately standing up off the couch and carrying your daughter into the kitchen to grab the ear thermometer you knew resided in one of the drawers. Once you located it, you sat her on the counter and took her temperature. She didn’t fight, just sat there and rubbed at her eyes tiredly until the device beeped a moment later with the answer you were looking for.

“Oh no, no, no,” you whispered when you read the tiny 104F that flashed on the screen. “Crap, ok. Mia, we’re going to go see a doctor, alright?”

“Tired, mommy,” was all she said while cuddling into you again as soon as you picked her up.

“I know, baby, but we have to make sure you feel better soon.”

“Frank come?” She asked as you put on her coat and boots before setting her down briefly so you could put on your own.

“No honey, Frank has to stay here,” you replied and leant down to pet the Goldendoodle that waited nearby. “We’ll be back soon, buddy.” And with that, you picked Mia back up, grabbed your keys and wallet, and headed out the front door.

It wasn’t until you climbed into the driver’s seat of your car after buckling Mia into her car seat, that you realized how much of a hot mess you looked like. Your hair was in a messy bun, and the baggy hoodie of Auston’s that you stole did not match the track pants you wore, but you didn’t care. There were more important things to deal with, so after a quick text to your husband telling him to call you as soon as possible, you put the car in reverse, backed out of the driveway, and headed to the nearest emergency room.

It was around 11 p.m. that you finished talking with a nurse and finally received a call from Auston.

“Hey, is everything alright?” His voice sounded through your phone as soon as you answered. “I got your text, are you at home?”

“No, uh, we’re at the hospital,” you sniffled, trying to recompose yourself after all the crying you did while sitting in the waiting room with your sick daughter.

“Wait. What?”

“Mia got worse,” you explained. “Her cough went away for a bit, but it came back, and she now has a fever.”

“Fuck,” he whispered, and you could only imagine him stressfully pushing his hand through his hair like he always did in similar situations. “Is she ok? Have you talked with a doctor?”

“Not yet, just a nurse as she took us to a room. The doctor should be here soon. Mia is passed out in my arms right now, she couldn’t sleep earlier even though she was exhausted, and I feel awful because she’s going to get woken up again once the doctor comes in.”

“I see, so she’s not doing great, huh? And how are you, babe?”

“Not good,” you blubbered, feeling as though you were on the brink of tears again. “I’ve cried a bit tonight. I called your mom and sobbed, and she told me to stop thinking I was a terrible mother because I’m not. I swear she’s a mind reader sometimes.”

“You and me both,” he chuckled. “But she’s right. You need to stop beating yourself up over this.”

“But Aus-.”

“No, buts,” he cut you off. “You’re doing the best you can, babe. I wish I were there right now, but I know Mia is going to be perfectly ok with you watching out for her.”

At that, you smiled.

“She misses you,” you told him, not to make him feel bad for not being there, but to let him know how even in her sick state, Mia still very much so wanted her dad. “Was asking about you when we first got here.”

“God, I want to be there so I can give her the biggest hug.”

“I know, Auston, I’m giving her one for you. I promise.”

“Thank you,” he responded, before falling silent for a moment. “Do you mind if I stay on the phone until the doctor comes?”

“Not at all.”

The two of you caught up and talked about each other’s days. Auston told you all about the game you missed due to these unforeseen circumstances, and you shared the details of your exciting day at home with Mia and Frank. About ten minutes later, someone knocked on the door before it opened, and a woman popped her head inside.

“Hello, I’m here to check up on an Amelia Matthews,” she greeted as you stood up from your seat.

“Yes, this is her.”

“And you’re her mother?”

“I am.”

“Perfect,” she smiled while writing on her clipboard. “If you don’t mind, please bring her over to the examination table and we can see what’s bugging your little girl.”

You did as you were asked, and stood back to let the doctor do her job. However, after you set her down, Mia woke up and wasn’t long before reaching out towards you as she started crying.

Not missing a beat, Auston immediately ended the call before Facetiming just a second later to see his daughter. At the sight of her dad, Mia relaxed. The stress of waking up in a foreign place seemingly vanished as she sat there, leant against you listening to Auston speak.

As that unfolded, the doctor could retake Mia’s temperature and check everything else without interruption.  Once she was done, it was determined that Mia had the flu.

She then explained to you (and Auston, virtually) how the flu was common in toddlers and that Mia should be much better in 24-48 hours. You were given tips on how to treat the flu but were mainly advised to let your daughter rest. That’s all she’d be wanting to do for the next day or so anyway.

The doctor then told you that you had nothing to worry about, and how you did the right thing by taking Mia to see someone, before eventually leaving the room and saying you were good to go and that she’d contact your family doctor about what happened.

“Well, I guess it could have been a lot worse,” you said to Auston as you buckled Mia into her car seat again.

“I know, still sucks a lot, though.”

“You’re telling me, but at least we can go home to bed and not stress too much.”

“True,” he replied. “I can’t wait to give her all the cuddles once I’m back tomorrow.”

“I’m sure she’ll love that,” you stated. “Anyways, babe, I’m gonna have to let you go so I can drive back to the house.”

“Ok, sounds good. Call me as soon as you’re back, please.”

“I will. Love you.”

“And I love you,” he responded. “Bye, babe.”

After that, you hung up the phone and drove home. Once you put Mia to bed, you called Auston again, and he reminded you of how much he loved you, and that the two of you were doing fine as parents. You couldn’t help but agree, knowing that Mia was always going to be ok because you or Auston would make sure of it and not too much later, you were finally able to fall asleep without any more stress.