#I have one person who messaged me whose willing to get me a poster on Mercari

[galariangengar]

Since when is it against the rules to post or talk about trades and “in search of” listings on Mercari?? I’m more familiar with depop and know this happens all the time there, but I had no idea it’s against mercari’s policy?? I’m trying to find someone who’s going to any of the remaining shows for Melanie Martinez’s Trilogy Tour and who would be kind enough to get me a poster cuz they ran out when I went to my show last night

[oldadastra]

Letter to Lucasfilm

So, I’ve written a letter to Lucasfilm. It could be better, but this is what came out this afternoon. I hope others who are writing will share what they are putting into the mail. I was trying to be concise, but it still ran to several pages. Find it in its entirety below the cut:

***

Lucasfilm, Ltd. Attn: Fan Mail PO Box 29901 San Francisco, CA 94129-0901

December 30, 2019

Lucasfilm/Disney:

I am writing to express my anger, shock, disappointment and deep sadness with the final installment of the Star Wars saga, Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker.

I was ten in 1977 when the original film was released and have loved Star Wars ever since. I was thrilled by the reopening of the saga in The Force Awakens, and delighted by the excellent script, rich visual storytelling, nuanced character development, and thematic direction of Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi.

Disney took on a sacred trust when it acquired Lucasfilm. Star Wars is deeply important to many people, and if you couldn’t do justice to the characters and themes of the saga, I’d argue that you had no business being involved in these stories. There is so much Disney/Lucasfilm got wrong in Rise of Skywalker, I’m struggling to gather my thoughts or express them coherently, but here goes:

Ben Solo. You created the most compelling character in the new trilogy by destroying the happy ending of the original trilogy. I was willing to go along on the ride Abrams and Kasdan began in The Force Awakens, because the fate of Ben Solo felt like it mattered. The questions raised in the new films: the nature of good and evil, the degree to which one’s family legacy defines a person, whether a one can atone for past sins; all of it felt alive and urgent in the person of Ben, a character I loved like one of my own children from the moment we so traumatically met him in The Force Awakens. His story was the beating heart of the new trilogy. His story is the one that mattered. His life was the one to be saved.

Ben solo was never an exposition device, cool villain, or disposable baddie to me. He was Han and Leia’s only child; loved, targeted, broken, lost.

The Rise of Skywalker redeems Ben Solo in the final act of the film, only to destroy him. Was it always your plan to kill the last Skywalker in the final installment of this story, to render the overarching message of all nine films as tragedy? If so, I wish I’d known this was your intent; I would never have engaged with these stories and made an emotional investment in them. If tragedy was your goal, that was certainly your choice to make, but I’d argue that you owed it to the audience and the cast to do a better job of it.

For example: You give us evidence that Han and Leia’s child was targeted by evil old men from before his birth. It’s a disturbingly explicit allegory of grooming and child abuse.

You give Ben Solo a backstory which implies he is guilty of vile, Anakin-style crimes against other young people, coding him as a school shooter, and then chose to exonerate him of this crime in a comic book, where the general audience will never know he was innocent. It’s a form of character assassination.

You consigned Ben Solo to the darkness for almost the entirety of three films, then denied him his voice in the final acts of his own story. “Ow?” The only words the redeemed Ben Solo will ever speak. Apalling.

You brought back Palpatine for this film (arguably rendering the message of the first six films meaningless), identified the Emperor as Ben’s tormentor all along, then denied Ben the opportunity to fight his enemy in the final act of the film.  Rise of Skywalker literally throws Ben Solo into a pit, and forces him to climb out alone and unaided while Rey is whispered to by “all the jedi,” offering her words of encouragement. It’s grotesque.

I’m getting lost in rage and sadness again here, so let me just say that even if you inexplicably didn’t care about the last Skywalker in the Skywalker saga, you have done a grave disservice to Adam Driver in your treatment of his character in this these films.  Perhaps you’ve heard of Driver’s non-profit organization, Arts in the Armed Forces? He’s deeply committed to the importance of stories as a way to make meaning out of the inexpressible. Did he really sign on to this project thinking that the final message of his character would be to say that even if you are able to come back from the darkness, your final act must be to die? That imperfect children don’t deserve compassion, forgiveness, life? You owe Mr. Driver an apology, but you can never really atone for what you’ve done to him.  

You ended a nine-film, forty-two year saga with all the Skywalkers dead, and a Palpatine the last one standing. You spent three films tormenting Han and Leia’s child, only to kill him in the final act.  What you did to Ben Solo (and frankly to us, who loved him) feels more like a horror story than anything else. In my dreams, I walk right into your offices and flip over tables.

There’s a lot more I could accuse Rise of Skywalker of bungling, but I assume you are hearing this feedback from others besides me, so I will summarize:

Rey Palpatine. Was is all about the midiclorians after all? By making her Palpatine’s granddaughter, you deny Rey everything that made her special; you deny her agency, and you negate the beautiful message I thought you were trying to communicate in the first two films with Rey Nobody: that the force belongs to us all, and that anyone can be a hero

The erasure of Rose Tico. It’s difficult to interpret this as anything but a capitulation to a loud, racist, and misogynist element of the fandom. It’s a very bad look, Disney. Please pay attention to the message you are sending.

Character development in general and a truly horrible ending: Rey goes back into her child-like costume, Ben Solo spent much of the film forced back into his stupid mask. Ben disappears at the end with no one to mourn him. Rey ends the film alone in a desert wasteland.

Rise of Skywalker is the most bleak, hopeless, and depressing Star Wars film ever made. As days go by, it’s becoming clear that it was also poorly written and edited. These stories matter to us, and we pay close attention to them. Disrespect us at your peril.

I don’t expect anyone will ever read this missive, or care at all about what an old shepherd on a mountainside thought about the execution of your multi-billion dollar movies. This is a personal exercise in catharsis as much as anything.

But here are a few notes in a language you might understand. I made some quick calculations about how much money I’ve spent on Star Wars over the past four years, and I’m sharing that with you now.

Movie tickets:  I’m one of those people who sees movies I love more than once (I saw Empire Strikes Back eighty-one times in the theater!). I saw The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi at least ten times each. I’m not counting the cost of tickets for my extended family, whom I brought along to a number of screenings, or tickets for birthday party guests we treated to these movies. My teenaged daughter came along for all the screenings I am including, so I calculate I spent about $360 on tickets. We also bought tickets to Rogue One and Solo, so it was actually more, but you get the idea.

Books, tie-ins, DVDs, merchandise: I invested in The Art of the Force Awakens and The Art of the Last Jedi books, as well as at least one SW Visual Dictionary. I bought DVDs of the films of course, and CDs of John Williams’ beautiful scores. I bought and read a number of books; Boodline and the Leia novel, The Force Awakens novelization and Junior novelization, Aftermath, and a couple others whose titles escape me. At least seven action figures. Toy light sabers for me and my daughter. Posters. T Shirts. I know I’m not remembering everything, but it adds up to an expenditure of at least $347 in books and other Star Wars merchandise.

Star Wars Celebration: I splurged on passes for my daughter and I to attend Star Wars Celebration in Chicago this past spring. It cost me about $400, and a last-minute family emergency meant we were unable to attend, but the tickets were non-refundable, so it was money I spent on Star Wars nonetheless.

Total: $1,107

A laughably small amount to you guys, I’m sure. Perhaps a contrast is useful:

Total amount I have spent (tickets for my daughter and I on opening night) on Rise of Skywalker: $22.

Total amount I plan to spend on Disney Lucasfilm merchandise in the future: $0

I invested quite a lot of my time in Star Wars over the past four years. I’ve written thousands of words in essays, appreciations and analyses (mostly on Tumblr), where I amassed a modest following of just over a thousand people. I’m sure I occasionally bored my friends and family by going on and on about Star Wars. This kind of ‘work’ has no dollar value of course. I will say that it was great fun while it lasted, though I feel foolish in retrospect, remembering all the times I came to your defense, arguing that the saga was in good hands, that you had a plan; that you were going to tell a good story.

Sadly, I don’t think you can fix the damage you’ve done to the Galaxy Far Far Away with The Rise of Skywalker. You made this film, made your choices, and put it out into the world. I have no control over where you go from here, but as a person who has loved Star Wars since I was a child, I beg you to take some time to reflect before making another Star Wars film.

You’ve broken so many hearts. Mine was one.

Andrea ____

...my full name and address, blah blah, I live in Vermont

[jaebaebie]

How I met your (very modern) mother

Felix “Just think about how this would be a nice story to tell our kids.. I am your soulmate after all.”

Who would’ve guessed that Y/N’s online gamer friend was her bias from stray kids?

5.37 PM

mydayqueen has connected

“Hey, Queen. Sorry, I gotta go now. You still coming on tonight?”

Your online friend, dabdude00, told you through the in game voice chat. A frown formed on your face. He was leaving you halfway through a match and you knew you were going to have to carry the team in a duos match. You could ask your other friends to play with you, but no one was as good (or as fun) as dab.

“I’m not really sure. I still have that test to study for. But I’ll try.”

You heard him snort from the other line, “You say that as you continue to wreck these noobs.”

“Someone has to show them how it’s done.” You replied, shrugging your shoulders proudly as you take note of your kill count. 10

It was fun to show off your skills to boys who expected you to be bad at the game. Many of the random teammates you met in the game were toxic and rude, not appreciating the fact that they were teamed with a girl. But then, once you’ve shown off, they’d suddenly fawn over you, mesmerised by your skills and the Victory Royale that appeared on their screens.

“Anyways, I’ll see ya soon.”

dabdude00 has disconnected

Dab was an exception. He wasn’t toxic like all the other guys you had encountered. He was nice since the first time the two of you met (online of course) and was even willing to teach you better skills. In three months, he had become your designated teammate. An online friend you told your stories and ranted to. He always listened, even throwing some sarcastic remarks from time to time to tease you because that’s how close you two have become.

Sometimes, you forgot that he was a complete stranger,, a stranger whose face and name you don’t even know. It would be nice to actually meet Dab in person. To see how he looks like. To witness how he was like in real life. But you could only imagine such events, knowing that your family and friends would kill you if you ever tried to meet up with someone you met online.

10.07 PM

After nearly three hours of studying for your upcoming test, your door bust open, revealing your very frantic and very excited bestfriend.

“Geez!” You exclaimed, unintentionally bringing your hand up to your chest in shock, “Ever heard of knocking, Jen?”

“I’m sorry! But look!” Jen jumped, waving two pieces of paper in the air. You rolled your eyes, laughing at your friend’s actions. Just as you were about to give her another remark, your eyes widened in realisation.

No way.

“YoU gOT ThEm?!!!”

“Nu-Uh. WE got them! We’re finally going to see them!” She yelled excitedly, pulling you up from you seat as the two of you began squealing together.

Once Jen had left your room, you quickly ran to your computer, no longer in the mood to study.

“Yo yo Dab!!” You exclaimed, immediately hearing him laugh from the other side of the screen as you barely even got your headphones around your head.

“Someone sounds excited. What happened to studying?”

“Studying? I’ve never heard of it! Guess who’s going to see her soulmate?” You couldn’t help but jump in your seat, still not over the fact that your bestfriend had managed to buy tickets for the both of you.

He chuckled, “Hmm. I guess you’re finally going to see Jae from Day6 huh?”

“No, silly! He’s my ultimate bias. This one’s different.” You argued.

“Why am I not surprised?” He teased. Funnily enough, you could imagine his actions towards you, despite not knowing how he actually looked like. He’d shake his head, smiling as he brings his hands up to his temple.

“So, who’s this lucky guy then?”

You smiled, looking up to the posters pasted on the wall right above your computer. A fluttery feeling spread in your stomach, spreading to your chest as you began to get excited once again.

“Felix from Stray Kids.”

10.48 PM

“I’m S T R E S S E D !!”

A week had gone by so quickly that you were panicking because you still had no idea what to wear the night before your fan-meet with Stray Kids. You had tried to call Jen for help, but she only stressed you out even more. She had everything planned out and organised, while you, on the other hand, were frantic and disorganised. Somehow, you were now getting help from the person who couldn’t possibly give it to you.

“Calm down, Queen. I-Felix would find anything you wear pretty.” Dab said, attempting to calm you down.

It turned out the Dab was somewhat familiar with Stray Kids. He claimed to have heard their music a few times and actually liked it. He even knew who Felix was, judging from his sudden choking when you told him who your soulmate was.

“That’s not the point, Dab! Come on, help me out.” You whined. You were stretching to reach for your clothes in your cabinet, not wanting your earphones to disconnect.

“Just wear something unique. Didn’t you say you have a panda beanie lying around?” He asked, and you nodded even though he couldn’t actually see you.

“Yeah. But that’ll make me look dumb.”

“No, it won’t. He’ll notice you when you wear that.” He replied rather convincingly. He sounded so confident and strong. We’re guys always this sure of themselves?

You stared at the panda beanie he was speaking of, frowning as you hesitated, “Are you sure?”

“Trust me, Queen. He’ll notice you.”

3.19 PM ~ the day of the fan meeting

You held their album close to your chest, trying to calm your breaths as you made your way towards the first member, following after Jen. Nearly all the members complimented your panda beanie, but you were too busy blushing to notice the cheeky smirks they were sending towards your ‘soulmate’.

He was the last one in the line of members. Your ears felt like they had been blocked by your own heartbeats and a lump had formed at the back of your throat. You were so nervous you weren’t even sure you could say a word. You watched as he bid Jen goodbye with a smile before he turned to you.

His eyes met yours, widening momentarily before he replaced them with the cutest eye smile.

“I like your panda beanie.” He complimented, taking the album from you. “I’m Felix, what’s your name?”

“I know.” You stuttered, making you want to melt into the floor.

“What?” He asked, leaning forward to hear you better amidst the loud squeals of the fans.

“I-I mean, I know you’re Felix. I’m Y/N.” You finally managed to mutter out.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Y/N.” He replied with a smile wider than his last one.

“You too. You look so much better in real life, with your freckles and all that.”

God. What was wrong with you? For some reason, everything that came out of your mouth was just purely embarrassing.

He chuckled, and shivers went up your spine. It sounded way too familiar. Before you could ponder over it, you fell in love once again as he began to rub the small amount of foundation on his cheeks, allowing you to get a better look on his freckles.

“So, which one of us is your soulmate?”

You snorted, feeling your cheeks heat from embarrassment. Saying that he was your soulmate in front of him felt way too cringy for your own good. “It’s supposed to be you. But after seeing JeongIn, I think my mind’s changed.”

His jaw dropped and he scrunched his nose, pretending to be offended, “He must be one lucky guy then.”

“Truly.” You replied, laughing. Their manager gave you a signal, indicating that it was time for you to move on. You nodded, smiling as you took the album from him. He almost looked disappointed. But you were convinced it was just you being delusional.

“It was nice meeting you, mydayqueen.”

“You too, dabdu—- wait, what?!”

Your jaw dropped and your eyes widened. There was NO WAY Felix had just called you your gamer tag. How did he know what it was? He stared at your expression, laughing with his head tilted back. The same action you always imagined Dab to be doing. The manager had called you once again, guiding you gently off the stage. Felix kept his gaze on you, the same cheeky smile on his face before he turned to the next girl, leaving you with the same confused and dumb stricken look on your face.

There was NO WAY Felix was dabdude00,,,, right?

12.03 AM

dabdude00 has sent you a party invite

You stared at your computer screen, biting the sides of your nails nervously. You were still completely taken aback by the day’s events. Felix was dabdude00. dabdude00 was Felix. You felt dumb and embarrassed. You always loved Felix’s deep and unique voice, yet, you’ve spoken to Felix the past three months and you never even recognised that it was him.

You groaned, rubbing your palms down your face as you recalled the fan meeting. He was giving you so many clues. ‘Soulmate’ and ‘Lucky Guy’. Those were words Dab used when the two of you spoke.

dabdude00 has sent you a party invite

You could barely even think about him without dying from embarrassment. How were you going to talk to him and pretend everything was normal?

dabdude00 has sent you a message

dabdude00 : Hey, you okay? Idk if you’re busy but it says you’re online..?

dabdude00 : Are you angry about today?

dabdude00 : If you are, I’m really sorry. I really didn’t mean to make you upset.

His response itself proved that dabdude00 was in fact Felix of Stray Kids. You sighed, confusing yourself even more. Any Stay would dream of this. Yet, you were ignoring his invites and messages because you were too busy being dramatic.

You threw your headphones on, finally mustering the courage to join his voice chat.

“Hey, Dab. Or Felix. Which one do you prefer?” You asked. Your voice sounded colder than you had expected.

“You sound upset. I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to make you upset.” His voice was soft and small.

“N-No. I’m not. Just shocked and embarrassed.” You replied, trying to ease the tension that somehow managed to form through your headphones.

“Embarrassed? Why?” He asked, making you let out a cry,

“Because I literally called Felix my ‘soulmate’ in front of Felix! And I FANGIRLED to Felix about Felix and all that stuff! Why would you let me do that?” You exclaimed, feeling your cheeks heat up once again.

He laughed, “If it makes you feel better, I really liked it.”

“Sure, you did. Ugh! I’m so embarrassed, Felix! I literally hate you right now.”

You could hear him smirk from the other side, making you roll your eyes, “Really? If I remember correctly, this past week you’ve been bragging to me about how much you loved.. me.”

“—Shut up before I take your posters down.”

“Aww. You have posters of me?” He teased.

“Felix, I swear to god.”

He laughed once again, and this time you confidently imagined how he looked like. It sent the butterflies flying in your stomach and your head spun with joy.

“Calm down, Y/N.” He said,

“Just think about how this would be a nice story to tell our kids.. I am your soulmate after all.”

[amethystpath-writes]

A Gentle Blade Part 20

Part 19 here

Can't believe there are 20 parts/chapters to this series. So insane.

Quick history fact before we get started. The word 'vile' was used to refer to commoners or those of a very low rank, hence why the word morphed into a definition that more closely means 'disgusting' or 'wretched'.

Okay, onto the story!

@tears-and-lilies

******

The guests walked in in no particular order. The two generals mixed with the kings and Dogars was actually the first to walk in. There was no battle of priority until they all noticed the different seats. Some were wood, others were throne-like. It was obvious that their host, the queen was implying a difference in stature.

"Royals will sit in the coloured seats. Non-royals will sit in the other seats provided." Rennera smiled, welcoming the company as well as she knew how to. "I am thrilled to see you all arrived safely."

Should have started with that, Sir Guard thought. He would have whispered as such to her if he were allowed. Unfortunate- for her- that her rules limited what help he was willing to offer.

It wasn't much longer that the prince averted his gaze from the crowd. They were all situating themselves, deciding which seats to take, and across whom. Before he looked away, Sir Guard watched his friend sit in the wooden chair at the foot-end of the table.

Gods, how would Dogars react when he saw it was his prince tied up against a fancy seat?

Leera Psst'd at Sir Guard while he faced the other way.

He shook his head, holding his index finger out though he realized the assassin wouldn't be able to see it as his hands were out of eyeshot.

Psst!

Sir Guard shook his head again.

"Is there a problem over here?" His head lifted, finding the queen's eyes staring into his own. They flicked over to Leera. "You two are making it difficult to speak. I believe she is trying to get your attention, my future king."

A muscle in his leg twitched. He swallowed with a quick nod. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Leera, but not before he snagged a glance at Dogars, whose eyes became squinted. He doesn't recognize me yet. Sir Guard praised the gods for giving his friend a short sight of vision. It was for that reason Dogars never picked up a bow by choice.

"What?" the prince spit out quickly to Leera. He whispered it, of course, as to not interrupt the queen as she continued speaking.

"Rennera-" She glanced up at the queen, then looked at the floor. The side of her mouth quirked up as her eyes narrowed. The assassin looked at Rennera again, then shrugged before grabbing either edge of her chair and throwing it to the left, getting closer to Sir Guard.

His eyes went wide with caution, though no one seemed to pay mind. She kept coming closer until their chairs almost touched.

"Her Majesty-" Leera rolled her eyes. "-wants me to find out where you come from." She continued their whispering feud, one that would probably last the rest of the night. "Where you, the bounty hunter, comes from," she specified. "I haven't told her anything."

Well at least that much was going nicely. "That's a difficult answer to come up with."

"How?" Her nose scrunched with her confusion. "You came from somewhere. Just tell me what kingdom you...rule? Or I guess you don't rule if you're only a-"

"I am not giving her any shred of truth," the prince said. He went silent, thinking. He needed a back story for his bounty hunter persona. The only development that man had was that he hated torture and was supposedly poor enough that he couldn't afford the streets.

"Then throw out a random city name. It's not like she'll know the difference."

"Maybe not, but when she tries to confirm it on a map and finds the name exists nowhere on it, she'll take it out on you."

"His Future Majesty," someone said across the table.

Sir Guard's attention found one of the generals staring at him. His eyes darted towards Dogars again. At the same time he wished his friend not to recognize him, it was also all he wanted.

The general wasn't continuing, and the prince wasn't allowed to speak, so he nodded, urging the man to continue. He did. "The queen says you are a bounty hunter," The prince nodded in confirmation. "She also says you were the one that brought the former king's assassin back when she ran away. Where did you find her?"

Was this an interrogation?

He looked to Rennera who closed her eyes and gave a slight nod, giving him permission to speak. Now that he was allowed to speak, he had little time to decide on a lie. The prince would have to give the truth or else his thinking too long would look suspicious. "A few miles into the woods from this palace." His eyes fell onto Dogars for the millionth time. He swallowed as the emissary's own throat bobbed and his mouth fell slightly open. Sir Guard just barely shook his head, hoping Dogars would get the message.

If he did get the message, he was deliberately deciding to be stupid when he piped in and asked, "What were you doing-"

"I wasn't done yet," the general who spoke before tried to interrupt. It didn't work.

"-so close to the palace?" It was a personal question, one that Sir Guard should have expected coming from his friend. He was making this situation more difficult by asking such a thing.

After just a short moment of gaining yet another permitted nod from Rennera, the prince answered, "I'm a bounty hunter. I was hunting the face on the bounty posters."

"Hunting bounties is a dangerous job, as I see you've found out, as you should have already known, as I'm sure someone told you," Dogars returned. He was speaking too quickly, Sir Guard noted. His friend was going to lead the others to believe they knew each other if he didn't calm his tone and speak slower.

Maybe the prince was over-analyzing. The others probably weren't noticing what he was, but he couldn't help it. If the queen learned Sir Guard was the prince of Thharewood...he didn't want to think about what might happen. Rennera said she would punish Leera for his mistakes. Perhaps rather hopefully that would change. Otherwise she might hurt Leera more than usual.

"I'm curious, Your Majesty," Dogars continued, "why you've made a bounty hunter, who you've clearly had problems with, your betrothed."

Rennera hummed, picking up a glass which contained red wine. She swirled the liquid before explaining, "He brought my husband's killer back. I took a liking to him for that reason, but it was all a rash decision and apparently he thought so, too. He tried to sneak the assassin back out in the woods."

Sir Guard felt the urge to defend himself, to say it was a lie, but what would it matter? He was only the queen's captive at this point. The others wouldn't care whether or not the claim was true. Dogars might. Might call him foolish later when he returned home, if he ever did. The thought he might never return to Thharewood never crossed Sir Guard's mind until now. It made him feel sick.

"Would anyone else like to contribute?" the queen asked, taking a sip of her wine.

No one said anything for moments. There was only the sound of heavy breathing and chewing. One king commented on how lovely the feast itself was. He'd been a quiet and old man, one who was timid, and was only present because he feared the consequences of not showing up. Sir Guard read this all in one easy comment.

The rest hadn't spoken yet, but the general, presumably from Harcose based off of the fish shape on his leather vest.

And, of course, Dogars had spoken plenty. Sir Guard could tell he was pissed by how quickly he shoved food in his mouth. If the prince were free to speak and was sat beside his friend, he would have quietly joked that he should watch his weight. It was something Dogars scorned himself for often, overeating anytime something relatively stressful happened. It was a habit he admitted trying to quit which was the only reason Sir Guard felt okay teasing about it.

Leera leaned over for a second time this night, whispering, "Have you thought of anything yet?"

"Honestly, Leera," he said, "I can't think about anything beyond my nerves." The prince shook his head. "I've never been this frightened before." He hated to admit it. His trainers always told him as a boy that fear was a ridiculous thing to let control you. They said you should only shake from overexerting yourself. Fear was, to say it most simply, stupid.

The assassin sighed, thinking to herself now. Sir Guard knew the consequence if she didn't get her answers for the queen; he would be hurt, maybe tortured. He would be okay with it, but he knew there was no way Leera could handle watching him in pain. He swore he would come up with a story by the end of the night, but for now...it was just too difficult.

"Is it something you can talk yourself out of? My uncle always said I was a good listener."

"Your uncle?" Her eyes saddened as she nodded. "Was that who took care of you after..." he trailed off.

"After my parents both died, yes." She nodded then took a deep breath. "I miss them," she said. "All of them."

Sir Guard's brows knitted. "Did your uncle pass, too, then?"

"No. No, he didn't, but I- uh- haven't seen him in years, much less spoken to him." Leera reached for the tankard in front of her. Her hand paused mid-reach and the prince watched her gaze turn towards the queen. After a short minute, her hand continued to reach out, grabbing the cup and bringing it to her lips. She asked, "Are you thirsty?" He shook his head, but because he licked his lips, the assassin moved forward, rear-end on the edge of her seat. She didn't have to reach very far for the cold edge to meet her prince's lips.

He turned his head. "Leera, the queen didn't say I could eat or drink."

"She didn't say you couldn't either, and that's what you asked her earlier, isn't it?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"If she has a problem with it, I'll tell her you forced me to give you a drink, that you...I don't know," She shrugged. "Threatened me or something."

Sir Guard gave a look that said, Right. She would believe I threatened you.

The assassin shrugged again. "You haven't seen a man starving or dehydrated, then."

In the blink of an eye, the prince saw chapped lips barely visible passed blond hair and sand. Sir Guard had been around...8 years old, he guessed. He didn't miss having blond hair, and was quite pleased that it'd darkened. It was at least one less reminder of the days he had trainers. None of them were kind and they put the prince through the worst of situations, saying it was only to 'toughen him up'. It was cruel was all, but 'tough' was what Thharewood needed since the current king and queen didn't 'have the guts' to stand up to opposers.

"Sir Guard?"

The fog in the prince's brain cleared away at hearing Leera's voice.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm alright." He eyed the tankard in front of him. "I think I'll have a drink of that now."

Leera proceeded to tilt the cup until she could see the water pouring out slowly in a jerky stream. She didn't want to pour too much, so she was careful.

The prince grunted and she pulled the tankard away, setting it down on the table. As she did so, she found the queen's head directed at her.

"Thirsty?" Rennera asked. Her gaze moved from Leera to Sir Guard. A single drip of water ran to his chin from his lip.

He nodded.

"Yes, it has been a while since you had anything to eat or drink." The queen took a sip of her wine. "Guards, one of you untie him. And take the rope to my chambers. You may toss it on the bed."

Sir Guard's mind went to the worst place possible. He hoped her bed was only the place she kept the gilded rope stored, and that she wasn't implying anything else. The most she'd done was kiss him. Rennera wouldn't do more than that, would she? She hated torture, she admitted that. Would she consider...that...as torture? The prince certainly did.

Before Sir Guard could suck himself into a further pit of dread, he felt relief. The final coil of rope fell away from his wrists. He sighed and brought his arms around front before raising them up, allowing the two guards to unwrap what rope had also been around his chest. Sir Guard took a deep breath. It was the first one he took that he actually felt reach his lungs.

On the other end of the table, Dogars watched, releasing a small and pitiful growl. Never would he have imagined seeing his best friend like this. And never would he have imagined he couldn't help. The emissary wondered how long Kastion had been tied up like that. He looked sore, but fine otherwise- or at least as far as Dogars could tell. The prince was mostly blurbs of colour. He only truly knew it was Kastion by his voice when the general asked him a question.

A bounty hunter, the emissary thought and shook his head. He didn't doubt Kastion fulfilled his role after seeing the poster. His real question was what was the prince thinking going to Ecksthnie? What was his plan before he found the bounty posters? Just go in and demand they release the assassin? That would have worked great, Dogars scoffed mentally. Kastion was lucky he found a bounty poster.

Gods damn him. I told him that assassin wasn't his responsibility. Of course telling Kastion that didn't mean anything. If he felt responsible then nothing- no words or actions- would ever succeed in changing his mind. The prince was stubborn when it came to faults. Dogars supposed it had to do with his training. They blamed him for every mistake when truly it was them not teaching him how to do anything. They'd throw him in a- a gladiator pit with an adult man without any previous lessons then expect him to know what he was doing, and when he failed, they'd tell him he was too absent, made mistakes too easily. You are a humiliation to this kingdom and you will continue to be unless you can fix all of your mistakes, they would say, and they would never say what his mistakes were. Dogars watched it all unfold firsthand, everyday.

So, the emissary understood perfectly why his prince ran off. He blamed himself now, for not knowing where Kastion went off to. As often as he spoke of Leera and how 'It's my fault she was captured. I was the one who asked for her name, begged her for it. And for what? She's in Ecksthnie because I thought praising a name would keep her from harm.' Kastion talked about the rumours as well, about a destroyed throne room and coffins. About nail streaks down a cheek. All about the assassin, of course. He spoke so often of his fault. Dogars should have known when the prince went missing that it was to save the assassin- or do whatever it was that he wanted. He clearly wasn't saving her right now.

"I think the emissary has gone deaf. Someone splash their water on him, will you?"

"No need," Dogars blurted. He was surprised to see as he looked around that no one was jumping to fulfill the order. Though maybe he shouldn't have been. The emissary could tell the generals were ticked off about the queen's unsaid statement; royalty was above all else. Generals were vile. Anyone who wasn't a king, queen, prince, or princess was of low and poor blood. Dogars didn't mind the status he received. He liked when people underestimated him, particularly queens who held his best friend captive. "I have a question for the assassin," he said.

The queen bade him permission to ask.

"You are unbound, have been since the beginning, unlike the...soon to be royal. Why's that?"

She, the assassin, thought for a moment. "Her Majesty...treats me better than I deserve," she said, and that was all.

Dogars nodded, running his tongue along his top teeth. His mouth remained closed, though, until he spoke to Rennera. "So you treat her well despite it being her who killed your husband? Yet, this random bounty hunter is being tied to a chair despite being your supposed betrothed?"

"I broke the assassin in," the queen replied. "She behaves the way I ask her to. My future king deceived me. I believed he was incredible for bringing back the girl who killed my husband. He was a fairytale character. He proved the other day that he is not what I thought. He is a great actor-" Better than you think. "-but I will break that trait down soon enough. In less than a week, all he will want to do is marry me."

Now it was the other present general, one from Eliaph, that spoke up. "Sounds risky, Your Majesty. A bounty hunter who managed to bring in an assassin? If I were you, I wouldn't have unbound him."

"You live by fear?"

At this, Sir Guard could have laughed. Only the food occupying his mouth stopped him.

A hypocrite, he thought. The queen was mocking a general for being scared when it was her who was terrified. She wouldn't be having this dinner to prove herself if she weren't nerved by the rulers of the lands.

"I live cautiously," the Eliaph said. "Intelligently. You would be wise to do the same."

"In Harcose," the prince whispered to Leera. When she gave him her full attention, he continued. "I came from Harcose. My family was granted a lake by the lord of our region, but because we weren't allowed to plant more trees, hawks and eagles were stealing the fish we bred and sold. I became a bounty hunter as a last resort as we couldn't afford the lord's rent prices."

Leera's eyes had grown wide halfway through the made up back story. "I guess you only needed time, huh? To come up with a story?"

"Food, actually." He smiled. "I only came up with it just now. The general- not the one who just spoke, but the other one- comes from Harcose. I could tell by the patch on his clothing. Anyway, that's what you can tell the queen. Is that all she asked for?" Leera nodded. "Good. Good, that's settled. Now I only have one other thing to worry about during this dinner."

"What's that?"

"See that man on the opposite end of the table?" Sir Guard nodded his head down the long dinner table Very end, not on the sides."

"Yes."

"That is my best friend, practically my brother. That is Dogars."

The assassin gave a small, delighted gasp. "The name you used in the story."

"Yes." The prince took another drink of water then leaned back in his 'throne'. "I'm surprised he hasn't launched a knife at me yet."

Leera blew a puff of air from her nose. "Sounds like a great friend." It was sarcastic. At first she'd been excited to meet Sir Guard's friend. Now he didn't sound so pleasant.

"He is. Dogars only worries for me. I have...large tendencies to throw myself in harm's way. This was the biggest toss." The prince looked the assassin in the eyes. "It's been a fine fall, one I would take all over again if needed."

She said, "You don't have to fall for me." Leera paused, thinking, Did he just confess he had feelings for me? "In fact, I encourage you not to. I'm more danger than I'm worth."

"You're right," Sir Guard said. "You are not worth a thing. That's why I poisoned myself to prove I was on your side, that I would never hurt you."

"I hate you for that," Her voice was soft, didn't hold any wrath behind it at all. Either way, the prince's point was across. She was worth everything, he was telling Leera. She still couldn't bring herself to believe he might have liked her romantically, though. It just seemed so impossible.

"I'm alive," Sir Guard returned. "Didn't know it would almost kill me." Then he admitted, "Even if I'd known, I wouldn't have done any differently. I deserved an almost death."

With a sigh, the assassin shook her head. "You'll never stop blaming yourself for what happened to me, will you? I shouldn't be a prince's concern, you know?"

"Why shouldn't you be when it was my fault?" He dragged a hand down his face. "Leera, I told everyone your name. You wouldn't be here if it weren't for that."

"I. Was the one. That gave you my name. That was my fault, not yours."

"You wouldn't have given it if I didn't-"

"Stop!"

The room went silent. All eyes were on the assassin, who was now standing at her seat, fingers flayed on the table. Her breathing picked up when she realized she'd drawn everyone's attention. Leera didn't mean to have an outburst. She just...she hated how much Sir Guard hated himself, how he blamed himself no matter what evidence there was against it. She wasn't mad at him for it. She was mad at whoever made him like that. Who blamed him in his life? For what? Why?

Leera swallowed. "Sorry. I'm so sorry, Your Majesties and- and generals." She sat without another word, stared at her lap with her chin tucked to her chest.

Sir Guard didn't say another word, afraid he might upset her again. He wasn't entirely sure what set her off. The prince still felt correct. He was to blame for Leera being here. He asked her for her name, and instead of moving on when she said she didn't give her name to people, he'd asked another time. Again and again, he'd asked, telling her he wanted to know the name of his hero. And when she finally gave, he spread it around like wildfire.

Of course, it was never Sir Guard's intention for it to harm Leera. He thought it would offer protection. She killed the King of Ecksthnie, and she escaped. Anyone would be right to be fearful of the assassin. But this wasn't what happened and it was his fault. He should have known what would happen, should have thought of every possibility. This was his fault. Nothing would change the prince's mind.

Rennera stood quite suddenly, announcing that dinner was over and everyone should return to their rooms. If anyone wished to know more, they could consult the guard standing in the throne room. If it required the queen's direct answer, they would be escorted to the queen's room, where they could consult with her at ease.

Dogars wouldn't go to the queen, but he would talk to Kastion. He needed to know what the hell had gotten into him, and what needed to be done. He'd go to his prince's cell tonight, even if it meant sneaking passed enemy guards without a weapon. He would get there. There was no choice.

******

Part 21 here

[janiedean]

I really, really love your metas! In "Why a Jaime/Brienne Endgame in the Books Makes More Sense Than One Might Think, Based on Previous Works of GRRM's" you wrote, that you have endless reasons to assume that both, J and B, will survive the whole series - can you please name some? Aside from this mentioned meta I've only read an explantion of the weirwood dream, which can be interpreted in both ways. Or can you link a good meta that explains other reasons? Thank you very much!

hey!

first of all thank you so much, glad that you appreciate my rants. ;) that said, sure I can go in-depth. in order (btw @ginmo has written also some excellent meta about this, just check on her blog), and also counting the weirwood dream which I’ve ranted on at length in that specific meta:

now, the first thing is how grrm strategically placed these two in the narrative, in the sense that:

brienne has spent her life being passed for a joke and she desperately wants for someone to see her worth as a person and she’d about kill herself for the people who manage to get as far as to gain her trust/love, jaime has spent his life loving people without getting much in return and with that trust being used/abused/thrown away and everyone taking it for granted... and we’re assuming they’re not set up to be together when as stated grrm has written them as romantic from the first moment?

(also, jaime’s entire first chapter in asos is basically ‘I find brienne attractive but since I never considered that I could be attracted to anyone but cersei I can’t understand I’m attracted to her so I’ll stare at her and think she’s ugly all along even if I really am attracted to her. brienne’s issues are also rooted in the fact that no one sees her as attractive. jaime does. hmmm?)

both of them start from a miserable situation from which they’re finding their own way up, not down - jaime is more obvious but brienne is too because she starts at the point where she’s so starved for recognition she would die for someone who just was nice to her but didn’t really gaf about her and now she’s... well, becoming a knight because sure af that is happening, I’m sticking with the theory that the knighting is book canon too -, and if they both end up miserable or one of them does it doesn’t work;

both of their chapters have heavy foreshadowing concerning possible marriage/having children/finding love - jaime wants to father his kids and at some point resents that other men are husbands and fathers but not him because he was always the warrior and he doesn’t say it happily, brienne is half-glad her first betrothed died because she thinks she’s not suited to typical feminine things/to fit into a woman’s role in society but she’s also sad at thinking she will never have children, these two are going to get together very soon, and I’m supposed to think they’re set up for failure? k but I can respectfully disagree;

also, this goes back to that meta I wrote in which I said that grrm does not do grim for grim’s sake and he’s actually way less cruel than it seems, likes a good love story and has more than once finished his other books with satisfying resolutions to that kind of storyline, but adding to that: in comparison to whatever calvinist crap message hbo wanted to send, I have to inform y’all that grrm is a currently agnostic lapsed catholic and it’s exceedingly clear in the way he explores/deals with redemptive themes.

now, let me break the jb narrative for a moment to inform you of a few things that as an atheist born and raised in a 99% catholic country whose literature’s funding works are heavily based on catholic themes/on stories rooted in catholicism:

the ‘you need to die to be redeemed’ narrative is 100% bullshit according to catholic morals and on top of that it’s opened to anyone at any time;

like, the basic distinction between catholic and calvinist approaches to the topic (and I can’t believe I’m defending catholicism but nvm that) is that calvinism preys on a narrative where your negative qualities define you and you cannot escape them (which is because calvinism accepts predestination ie the idea that seeing your lot in life you can deduce if you’ll go to heaven or hell, so if you’re poor/unsuccessful/you committed mistakes/a crime and so on you’re not redeemable and it’s proof you’re damned) and that meant that in societies with calvinist background the death = redemption narrative is extremely popular because it’s seen as ‘hey this person is wretched and they suck so they couldn’t have lived anyway and they did something good with it for once and it’s the best they could hope for’. catholicism, at the contrary, works on the basis that as we all have free will we can change for the better and if you repent for your sins/past wrongdoings/mistakes then that’s enough to be redeemed and if you do it on your deathbed.... you can still go to heaven, you’ll just have to atone for your wrongdoings (that’s the entire point of purgatory’s existence ie making people who repented near death or too late to gain heaven atone for their sins before they can enter heaven). and the moment you repent then you’re free to start your new life and do better and gain your place in heaven, which you’ll obtain in virtue of having turned a new leaf;

(again: not to be that person, but in luke’s gospel one of the two thieves crucified with him is like ‘can you save us since you’re the son of god’, the other thief is like ‘please he has done nothing and we have sinned we don’t deserve to be saved just please remember us when you go back to your father’ and jesus tells the second thief I won’t need to remember you because you’ll sit at my right. also, in dante’s divine comedy there’s a guy who had been excommunicated in the middle ages waiting to get into purgatory for having repented on his deathbed and in manzoni’s the betrothed ie italy’s funding novel the character who’s objectively better written is a dude so heinous for his crimes that he’s called THE UNNAMED and the moment this guy gets doubts and wonders if there’s any hope for him left the local arcibishop leaves everything saying that the moment someone like that is in need then they’re more important than his own parish, goes to receive unnamed guy, tells him that just wanting to be better is enough as far as god is concerned and he’s saved as far as he cares. like, as much as catholicism sucks for the entire rest of it and for how much the catholic church is the worst ideologically the fact that everyone can be redeemed is the basic staple of the entire thing.)

now, given the ^^^, this is where I tell you that most lapsed catholics/people who left catholicism for whichever reasons usually grew up catholic and if you grow up catholic you spend your first twelve years in church at least and if your parents/people around you are also catholic you will absorb it, good and bad, so if grrm grew up catholic, he grew up with that background. (I could again rant for hours about how atheist writers who grew up catholic differ from atheist writers who grew up protestant/calvinist because if you compare grrm and idk kurt vonnegut it’s glaring but this isn’t the place for it so nvm let’s go on)

now that I’ve told you this, I’ll get back to jaime and brienne’s canon survival chances. I needed to tell you that because...

all of the stories with redemptive themes in asoiaf (jaime, theon, sandor, whoever) are not by nature calvinist. whatever d&d think or hbo thought, none of them are written in a way where death is their best option/their only way to achieve redemption/to finish their story with dignity. theon has gone through hell and back and left and regained his sense of identity, he’s not built to die now, sandor has freaking gone to rehab and I’m 100% sure he survives the series and gets closure, while jaime is exactly a poster child for the above stuff I described. like, jaime is someone who’s fundamentally good who had the misfortune to spend his entire life jumping in different kinds of abusive situation one to the other (tywin’s parentage in general, his relationship with cersei throughout at least from the moment they were *experimenting* and like hell I’m going back on that sorry not sorry, guarding aerys, being with cersei at *her* terms and being forced to relieve his trauma all over and not having his needs met etc., tywin potentially ruining his only healthy relationship [with tyrion] and so on) who in turn has done exceedingly bad things/taken bad decision/committed heinous deeds that he regrets having done out of his bad reaction to all of that, not treating his ptsd and basically deciding to stop giving a fuck and embrace being the horrid person everyone thinks he is... until he meets brienne, remembers who he wanted to be because she’s posing an example of it and decides on his own to try and be better, which is... exactly... the entire fucking point. the moment he decides to try and be better and reclaims his dreams/the person he wanted to be/tries to do good he has automatically achieved a narrative status where he chose to be better and therefore the narrative is giving him a chance to be that, and usually those stories are meant to.... have the message that you can be better than the bad things you did and you can turn back the page at any point. like. jaime is written to show you that it’s not too late to get your shit together and not letting others/your surroundings define who you are;

on the other side, brienne is presented as extremely sympathetic from the beginning. also, grrm is very good at describing how shitty is your life if you grow up a woman who is not standard attractive, that everyone laughs at and who has endless insecurities for it.... and she’s the paragon of knighthood/everything good about chivalry in the goddamned series. brienne is legit one of the best people in these books and it’s not because I stan her - she’s kind, she’s just, she’s brave she’s everything a knight should be, she’s willing to change her mind when she misjudged people, she’s forgiving and life threw her crap all along and she’s still persevering from it. brienne is written in a frankly painfully objective way to eventually succeed at what she wants. if in affc she’s crying because she feels like she’s too much of a freak to be her father’s heir and she’s not woman or man enough for anything, the entire narrative point is that she has to succeed at both being a knight and a lady otherwise grrm can’t plant hints and believe me he can;

this means that jaime is headed on a redemptive path which in that kind of story when written by catholics or former catholics never ends up badly (also, aside: redemption is good for everyone and it can’t be just ONE character having it, you don’t buy it at the supermarket, so saying that if jaime has it then tyrion or theon or sandor or whoever can’t have it is just poor reading, people change all the time irl and in narrative you aren’t obligated to redeem one and kill everyone else) or in death, brienne has been written to succeed in her endeavors after she suffers a shitton and I think stoneheart has to be the worst and the end of it (in the sense that after that situation is resolved the way for her is down, not up). which if I do the math and we have stated they’re headed for romance, means the both of them should have a chance at a future together;

also, I can go and tell you that their asos road trip ending with harrenhal is bursting with symbolism that includes death and rebirth - not going into the weirwood dream and sticking to the basics... guys, jaime starts as a prisoner, then ends up losing a part of herself he thinks define him but in truth only defines what he thinks he is (and he’s not ie cersei’s double, the kingslayer, the person who has to drive himself crazy to protect everyone else), then ends up almost dying and sitting in the middle of his own filth for the entirety of the trip (and even then he does good things ie saving brienne from being raped *cough*) and then ends up in a scalding hot bath where he confesses his most well-kept secret and source of 50% of his trauma to someone he trusts regardless of how much he likes it or not, faints and then wakes up again when everyone thinks he might be dead. symbolically, I think it speaks for itself. thing is, during the entire thing *brienne* is there alongside him and while she’s also getting her own share of trauma/ptsd (I mean brienne has totally bloody mummers related ptsd and I’ll die on that hill) she physically is the reason he survives it - she cleans him up, she gives him enough pep talks to convince him to live, she hears his confession, she changes her mind about him for it (but imvho she had after he saved her from being raped because that’s where she calls him ser for the first time) and she catches him in the bath when he faints which is.... fairly symbolic in itself, and she is the one who puts him back on his feet after. like, while jaime’s choices after are all his own, his symbolic journey through his own physical/mental filth he has to go through during asos succeeds because she helped him even if she didn’t know she was doing it, and like... guys, there’s a reason why in the weirwood dream the brienne in jaime’s head which he has conjured and who is basically what jaime sees brienne as in that moment, not necessarily the real one..... keeps on telling him all the time she’ll keep him safe/protect him and she basically tells that to anyone he feels threatened by (or his subconscious feels threatened by), and as stated before, jaime lannister has never, until that point, assumed that *he* would be in the position where someone else gives a shit about him to the point where they will defend him rather than in the position where *he* is the person that has to protect everyone else regardless of how much appreciation he gets in return. like, excuse me but if I was writing my own book I wouldn’t put this much work and care and this symbolism in these two’s history if I meant to kill one of them off or to not have them be happy in the end.

like, the point is: grrm is an extremely meticulous writer with an astonishing attention to detail and who put in book two shit that made extra sense when reading book FIVE, see theon saying he wouldn’t go to his death wearing dirty clothing in acok which makes you go like ‘....... why’ the moment you read his adwd chapters. no one, unless they have a penchant for sadism, would put that much work with those themes in that specific kind of story if then it doesn’t deliver. or, in different words, using a character I love as well so no one can accuse me of being impartial: when grrm put the same kind of work in catelyn’s chapters from got to asos and then you read them knowing about lady stoneheart and the red wedding, it’s obvious that he built her up for being an extremely tragic character and that she was destined to die regardless of all her efforts to save her family (same for robb but we’re talking pov characters). but catelyn’s storyline doesn’t have redemptive themes. it’s about regret, loss, loving your children but being imperfect/not being able to be there for them, and so on. catelyn’s storyline never promises you a happy ending from the moment ned dies and probably even before then. catelyn’s storyline promises you endless suffering and that’s fine because that’s her point in the narrative.

on the contrary, brienne’s tells you ‘hey there’s this girl who has had it like shit all her life without deserving it and whose worth no one sees because she’s ugly and who at the same time is actually a genuinely good person who’s trying her best and okay, she’s gonna suffer but she’ll come out on top while getting what she wants which is recognition as both a lady and a knight’ and given that brienne is also an extremely rare rep (say what you want, cishet unattractive women with her issues and her backstory are basically only less rare than unicorns in media) that I’m 100% sure grrm knows speaks to a lot of people (because he writes her too well to not know), if brienne doesn’t get that after all that shit, the narrative would not deliver on a fairly huge promise.

even worse, jaime’s tells you ‘hey there’s this guy who has been an abuse victim to at least three different people who doesn’t even realize it and whose life is so fucked up you’d need fifteen psychology textbooks to even start grasping it and that everyone sees as the worst person ever and who has ended up believing he is out of not managing his trauma well and hey look at him going through an insane amount of extra suffering but coming out of it wanting to be better and sort of succeeding and hey he has setbacks but he’s starting to see himself as his own person and he’s out of his #1 worst abusive relationship and he can decide what to do with his life now and you should root for him’, which means that if he dies or worst of all dies like in the show (but that’s not happening) the narrative doesn’t deliver on a huge promise and gives you the message that you can’t escape your mistakes and the abuse you received...... which is not the message grrm likes/wants to pass. like, I’ll die on that damned hill.

and to finish it, that was for them as single characters, but going back to the beginning: love is a fundamental part of both their storylines. as I said in the beginning, brienne suffered because she wasn’t loved enough and would die for anyone she loves herself without even expecting anything in return because she thinks no one will love her like that, jaime suffered because he loved too much without getting anything in return (or better, getting cersei’s abusive crap for his entire life) and he turned it into something toxic that’s not what he thinks it should be (he sees his and c’s relationship as the best thing ever where they’re soulmates because she sold him that narrative, but that’s not the kind of rship where you *turn your partner’s blows into kisses* which is actual text). at this point, the narrative is telling you ‘oh hey here’s two damaged people who actually would be very good together because their personalities match in that sense [as in, brienne would thrive with someone who loves her that much openly and finds her attractive and respects her for all that she is and jaime would thrive with someone who would appreciate that tenfold and who’d love him back just as much and who’d die for him - canon! -, and it wouldn’t be the kind of rship where anyone’s blows turn into kisses unless they were friendly sparring before] and oh hey look at that they’re in a storyline where they both influence each other greatly and oh wait he’s attracted to her and she thinks he looks like half a god and she’d die for him and he was willing to get mauled by a bear for her and they’re obviously meant to hook up’, which automatically promises a resolution where they both get what they want or you basically spent all your time rooting for it.... for nothing. which would not give anyone reading it satisfaction unless you hate jb that much, but I’m 100% sure that most people reading asoiaf casually would not hate it that much and grrm likes that trope that much to not deliver on it.

so, tldr: if one of them dies or if they aren’t endgame with a reasonable happy-ish ending for the both of them, the entire narrative fails to deliver on the promises of their individual storylines and their shared one, and there’s nothing in grrm’s writing that suggests that he would not deliver on it. I mean, if it was stephen king I’d hold my breath because I love steve but imvho his endings suck 85% of the time and he manages to do 180° turnarounds that have no sense whatsoever, but it’s grrm, not stephen king, and everything of his I’ve read that actually had an ending ended in a way that was coherent with the overall storyline and maintained its promises, so here, the above is pretty much the summary. hopefully I haven’t exhausted you. ;)

[ramblefang]

Runaway Raccoon; BNA ep.1

Preface

Just finished watching the first episode of BNA, so I now I’ll be writing my first impressions of it. And I’ll endeavor to do this for the whole series. It’s not exactly my first time trying this sort of thing, but I’m still inexperienced with it, so this might get messy. But, as is the intent with this blog, I’m just here to Ramble on about stuff anyway, so a mess is to be expected.

Before getting into the actual episode, I want to note that I’m only mostly going in blind. I’m primarily watching this after seeing stuff for it show up on my dashboard, so I know the names of the main characters (who haven’t yet been properly introduced) and a few general themes of the show. I also know that it was made by Studio Trigger, and I’ve been a fan of some of their anime (including Gurren Lagann, which I understand to be by many of the same people, even if it was under a different studio), so that will probably affect some of my thoughts on things.

Opening

Things start out with the opening, which sounds silly to say, but many shows don’t actually start with the OP, preferring to leave it until the end or the second episode—I assume it’s to not “spoil” introductions to the characters. Starting with the OP right out of the gates strikes me as preferring to set the tone, as well as showing off style and aesthetic.

As for the OP itself, I mostly noticed how the setting is very much “our world,” especially with the pseudo-branding. All of that is apparent through the episode as well; I particularly remember the pseudo-Red Bull stall that Michiru bought a drink from. I’m not too knowledgeable about music, so about all I can say is that I thought it was a bop—well, also that it kind of reminded me of “Bad Apple” for some reason.

Animal Rights

The episode proper starts with Michiru trying to get money from an ATM in a nondescript hallway. A lot of attention is paid [by the camera, not Michiru] to a poster next to the ATM celebrating “Animal Rights Day.” Next, some ruffians also come down the hallway, prompting Michiru to hide while they spray-paint something hateful over the poster.

Just this cold open hits pretty hard in light of the protests that have been going on this year. As far as I can understand just from this scene, Beastmen (the “Animals” in “Animal Rights” I assume) gained their own rights somewhat recently—certainly recently enough for open bigotry and racism to still be rampant. With the way the ruffians were armed and the message they left, we can assume that Michiru wasn’t overreacting and genuinely would have been danger if she was caught. And in light of this year’s protests—what started them and some of the reactionary response—I can’t help but feel like this sort of situation isn’t too far from present reality; it’s at least certainly very real in our history.

Speaking of protests, we also see some news about that sort of thing. Apparently people aren’t happy about Beastmen getting their own district? With this information juxtaposed with the previous scene, I’m led to believe that these people aren’t protesting segregation and desiring unity. I’m pretty sure these protesters don’t want Beastmen to have anywhere to live. Or, at the least, they don’t want resources to be spent on the beastmen, but that amounts to the same thing.

En Route

While Michiru “catches a bus,” she pulls out her phone to watch a video about the place she’s traveling to: Anima-City. It reminded me a little of the introduction to the city of Zootopia; though the context is very different. (Anima-City being the refuge of an underclass, whereas Zootopia is the pinnacle of city life.) Something strange about this video is that it seems to be from a pharmaceutical company, not a government body. Is the company the same thing as the government here? And pharmaceuticals specifically worries me a bit: makes me think of attempts to “cure” the beastmen.

Oh, somehow I haven’t mentioned it yet, but I can’t help but think of the beastmen from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann and wonder if they could actually be the same. It’s been a while since I last watched TTGL, so I can’t quite recall how the politics around the Beastmen went and whether or not this BNA setting could fit in with it.

Anyway, before the video can finish, Michiru gets attacked by, what we learn to be, “beastman hunters” who specifically hang around routes to Anima-City. One of them even has the gall to say that they’d puke if they keep seeing more beastmen around there, but they’re the ones actively looking for beastmen to hunt! These people could just let the Beastmen be in their own city and not worry about them. Again, I still have our very real protests and history in mind: of lynchings and genocide.

Thankfully, Michiru is saved by some other beastmen. My first response to this fight though were concerns about the oppressed group were clearly being presented as powerful and threatening and how that may translate to reality (my head still being in that space and all), but then I caught myself thinking that and remembered to actually pay attention to context here. This is clearly righteous self-defense regardless of how rough they get with these hateful bigots. Beyond that, it’s simple catharsis to see the oppressed being able to fight back.

The leader of Michiru’s saviors is named Marie, and Michiru is apparently savvy enough to understand that Marie would be expecting payment. It’s an uncomfortable situation honestly. The way that Marie’s group were able to fight to protect her suddenly hangs over Michiru as a sort of threat. Though, I guess Marie had intended to ask for payment after ensuring Michiru’s safe passage to Anima-City, so it’s just the exchange happening here that makes it seem especially threatening. Still, this grift makes clear beastmen aren’t perfect people either.

Now that I’m thinking about it, this sets up for the mercenaries that show up in the final part of the episode, showing how money can still lead Beastmen to harm one another, to varying degrees.

I wonder how Marie will fit in later. I do recall her showing up in the OP, so I imagine she has a bigger part to play. Maybe she has some sort of connection to Shiro.

Festival

(Ugh, this is going longer than intended with me trying to recap stuff. This method probably isn’t sustainable for me. Just try to make your points!)

Michiru’s entrance to Anima-City was quite unexpected. It honestly doesn’t make much sense if you think about it too literally; instead, it’s totally about getting certain feelings across. I think we’re supposed to get the idea that despite Michiru being a beastman herself, as an outsider, she still finds the idea of a place entirely filled with beastmen intimidating (especially given what we learn about her at the end of the episode: her having been human). And it also impresses upon the audience that beastmen can be legitimately threatening and even terrifying; I imagine they’ll continue to play with that idea going forward.

There’s also that wolf on the rooftops that Michiru sees. I wonder if that’s actually Shiro? The colors seem about right, and Shiro is a wolf himself. And I think the OP hinted at them being able to transform into more feral, four-legged forms? I don’t think we see such a thing directly, but there were some shadows that I remember.

Anyway, Michiru’s fears are cast aside once it’s revealed that everyone was just gathering for a festival and that they weren’t actually gathering to attack her or something. Michiru is able to let loose and just be herself: no need for a cloak or scurrying into vents.

Political Intrigue

After the mayor of Anima-City—the same person we saw on the video earlier who is also probably connected to that pharmaceutical company—shows up on a big screen to talk about the festival being a celebration of the city’s 10th anniversary, we cut to her in a call with the actual mayor of the city. I have to remind myself that despite the name, Anima-City is just the “beastman district” of a larger city. Of particular interest from this conversation is the mayor saying they can have this district so long as they don’t prove to be “dangerous”. The thing is that it’s entirely up to the human government whether they are “dangerous” or not; I imagine they can spin anything to make the beastmen out as dangerous or even fabricate something if necessary.

I figure the mercenaries and their terrorist attack on the festival could be connected to those sorts of plans. I also took note of the way that the mercenaries used guns and Shiro didn’t. I wonder if that will be something to clue the audience in to who has connections with humans and/or anti-beastmen sentiment.

Ideology

Lastly, I want to take note of the differing ideologies between Michiru and Shiro. Shiro has a very black-and-white view on things: beastmen good, humans bad. Shiro is also likely willing to kill people to fight for his ideals and to protect what he cares about. Michiru has a more nuanced view of there being good humans and bad humans, good beastmen and bad beastmen. But she also comes off as having a naive ideal of nonviolence in defending these people whose attack could have (and maybe actually did) hurt a lot of people at the festival. To be fair to Michiru though, it’s not really right for Shiro to be judge, jury, and executioner here. He’s already incapacitated them, and I imagine there are more proper ways to handle these terrorists than offing them in an alley.

Still, my current impression is that neither of their perspectives are meant to be “correct” right from the start. I imagine they’ll have to learn from one another. Regardless, I hope things end up being more about institutional powers being bad rather than leaving things at just individual people being bad. Like, even if there ends up being a main villain to defeat, I hope that villain serves to represent the power of their position rather than the villain being a uniquely evil person.

Closing

Okay, I think that’s all I have to write about the first episode. Honestly, I’ll probably need to work on Rambling less, because I don’t know if I can keep up with writing so much every episode. I had been thinking of doing these daily (with some breaks in the week maybe), but maybe I’ll do an episode every other day if this is the sort of thing I’ll end up with.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 46

I’m on a roll!  Yet another chapter beta’d by @parisconstantine (in which I learned about French terms of affection), and I’m already 1600 words into chapter 47.  I’m not sure if the next chapter will be a long one or if I’ll end up splitting it into two parts. Time will tell on that front.

Oh! Oh!  Sam and Simon both get last names in this chapter!

This covers the first six hours of the Food Festival, so minor mentions of food.  I can’t think of any other warnings beyond that, but if you find something please shoot me a message so I can update it.  I’m learning every day about things that trigger people, so sometimes I miss things that aren’t glaringly obvious.  However, I’m always willing to learn.  At the end of the day, this is very slice-of-life, after all.

Edit:  I am reposting this, for 2 reasons.  Most importantly, I included some characters in this chapter who I need to attribute to their rightful creators.  So, Thank you @charlylimph-blog for Ivan Thorson and Coffee Williams.  You are an incredible writer, and I didn’t want these two to languish in obscurity after all the hard work you put into submitting them for the last contest.

The second reason is just because I posted it too early and wanted to put it out there for the people who look for my chapters on Tuesdays.  I love you all!

“Okay, everyone for Alpha Shift, sound off.”

“Tyche Reid, Admin Observation, is online.” I could hear the smirk in my sister’s voice.

“Antoine Costa, Support Personnel, online.”

“Sophia, do I really have to do this?” a familiar voice wheedled.

“Yes. I need to know who is my eyes and ears on the ground.”

“Ugh. Zach Khan, Support Personnel, online.”

“Derek Okafor, Civilian Observation, online.”

“Sam Richardson, Civilian Ob-observation, o-o-online.” I couldn’t help grinning that Sam agreed to help out.  Usually, he kept out of any operations on the ship, but he was the original tester for Antoine’s project, so he had just assumed he would be part of today’s actions.

“Maverick Okima, Support Personnel, online.”

“Alistair Worthington, Resource Adjunct, online,” my assistant dutifully called off in a bored tone. Only I could see the sardonic look he shot me.

“Sophia Reid, Resource Command, online,” I breathed in relief.  “Thank you, everyone. You have two objectives today: first, a general assessment of the low-stim session so that we know what we did right and what we can improve on in the future; second, getting feedback on how Mr. Costa’s dampening and proximity updates to the translation chips are working, again with a goal for future enhancements.  Tyche Reid has graciously volunteered to be our control on the chip project, so she will be providing only a baseline evaluation of the low-stim session and the quiet rooms.”  In reality, my sister wasn’t volunteering so much as refusing to get the upgrade until I agreed to do the same.

“Soph, if you are going to keep being so formal, we may as well shut this down now,” my sister huffed. “Mr. Costa my foot.”

“I’m trying to be professional,” I grumbled back. “This is an official Council operation, to be saved for posterity.”

“Do you truly believe that Xiomara will tolerate being referred to as ‘Miss’ or ‘Councillor Kalloe’ for six hours, Sophia?” Antoine asked smoothly.

Fighting back a chuckle, I refused to concede his point. “That’s Simon’s problem, not mine. She and I are on shift in the festival at the same time, so Simon will be running the show from here.”

“And you have deluded yourself to believe that Mr. Rodriguez will continue to address everyone formally?” Alistair scoffed. Et tu, Brute? I had argued with him for weeks to call me Sophia.

“If you start calling me Mr. Okafor, I’m going silent until this is over, Sophia,” Derek threatened.

I threw my hands up defensively, even if most people couldn’t see me. “Fine! I get it, I get it. I’ll chill out with the names, but I am going on record that it was under duress and threat of operative failure.” I shook my head and took a deep breath. “Okay, so, back to the point.  Tyche, your job is providing an assessment of the low-stim Festival session, as it appears to someone without the implant upgrades.  Derek and Sam, your jobs are to evaluate the session with the upgrades.  I need all three of you to report back two specific things: what worked better than your past experiences, and what still sucked.  Maverick, Zach, and Antoine: you are there both in your capacities as support personnel in case something goes horribly wrong, and to make sure I hear about anything they don’t realize shouldn’t be happening.  Everyone clear on your jobs?”

I got six affirmative answers before continuing. “Okay, other than that – have fun!  Try new foods, let me know what to try when it’s my turn, just enjoy yourselves as much as possible!”  With that, I left the group channel open and watched the map of the festival.  The three teams were entering from different points to ensure that, between the six of them, everything could be evaluated. In theory, everything should go off without a hitch.  The vendors were already briefed to be prepared for attendees during this session to provide a list of flavor and texture aversions, and Miys was already stationed in security alcoves to ensure that the vendors were complying and attendees weren’t abusing it.

It was only fifteen minutes before we got our first update.

“Team Try New Foods, reporting early success,” Zach Khan’s voice broke in. “Kosher food stall was an overall hit, the Jainist stall admitted they had nothing that Derek could like except papadums, and Derek tried both falafel and chicken tikka masala.  Jury’s out on the masala, but he likes falafel.”

“I really thought falafel would be too squishy,” I admitted.

“Apparently not,” Zach chuckled. “He said it’s like a meatball, but no meat.”

“I mean, yeah,” I agreed, still dazed. “That’s cool, though.  And the Jainist vendor didn’t give him a hard time about the list?”

“Nope,” he popped the last letter, something he tended to do when he was really excited. “Just smiled, read it, and apologized that everything he had was either spicy, sour, or squishy.”

“How did the Kosher and Halal vendors react to the list?”

“Thoughtfully,” Derek interjected. “The Kosher vendor clarified if I like onions, and the Halal vendor just wanted to know if I meant pepper-spicy or herb-spicy.”

Awesome. “Good job, guys. And congrats, Derek, on the new foods.  Keep it up and let me know.”

Thirty minutes later, not everything was sunshine and rainbows, though. Sam and Maverick had so far reported three vendors whose stalls were too pungent to approach, and Alistair was already in contact with and arguing about the need to keep the dishes covered during the low-stim session. “I understand that the smell is what draws people in, usually, ma’am, but you agreed to keep all smells to a minimum for the first six hours. That includes keeping the atmospheric scrubbers engaged and keeping the dishes sealed.” When the woman on the other end started to argue, he swiftly cut her off. “When you signed up to be open during this session, you were given a list of the restrictions, and you signed off on it. Low Stimulus, and that includes stimulating the nose. You can either seal the food, as you agreed, or we can have your stall closed down for the remainder of the Festival, per the agreement you signed.” With that, he disconnected sighed before turning to me. “So rude,” he informed me with a shake of his head.

“Which stall was that?” I asked, wrinkling my nose in dread.

“Fortunately, just the seafood stall,” he explained. “Along with the Cajun and Jamaican stalls.  So, pungent, but no one has reported nausea as of yet.  Miys is already in the area, trying to dissipate the odor.”

“As long as it isn’t the Japanese stall,” I gulped. They had insisted on serving natto, but explained that it would be sealed in individual portions throughout the festival, and only opened by the person eating it.  While I couldn’t exactly argue, I didn’t have to be happy about it.

I heard from Tyche right at one hour into the event.

“Soph,” my sister practically shouted at me. “Do you want to explain to me why one of the Quiet Rooms looks like you robbed my quarters?”

Oops.  Forgot about that. “Tyche, they’re designed to be relaxing, quiet, and provide low stimulation.  I can’t help it that your quarters are practically a smooshy cave.” Three, two, one…

“A hammock!?” she demanded. “Why don’t I have a hammock?”

“Make up your mind, Tych. Are you offended that the room looks like your quarters, or jealous that it’s better equipped?”

“Both. Definitely both,” she asserted. “Ooo, you included the sound scrubbers we had installed in your quarters, didn’t you?”

“I knew it!” I almost shrieked. “I knew it sounded muffled in my quarters since I got back!  That was completely uncalled for, you brat.  You know I’m hard of hearing!”

“You also have an implant in your brain that directly translates language into your auditory cortex, so it’s not like you couldn’t hear us,” she pointed out. “And all your alerts and alarms were already calibrated for you to see them as well as hear them. What I don’t understand is why you never had Miys fix your hearing.”

“Are you kidding?” I scoffed. “Loud noises are bad enough as it is.  I can’t imagine how it would be if I could hear them better.”

“Aaannnnnnd that’s why we put the scrubbers in your quarters,” she finished. Well, walked right into that one, I admitted to myself. “This room is nice, by the way, once I got over the shock. Quiet, relaxing on the eyes and ears. How buff are the atmo scrubbers? It’s like my nose just quit working, but I can still breathe.”

“Really buff,” I clarified. “I’m not sure how many food and personal odors are going to be at the main event, so I erred on the side of overkill.”

“Do all the quiet rooms look like this?” Antoine asked, his tone full of curiosity.

“They do not,” I grinned. “Antoine, you’re going to love this, I think.  There are five different themed quiet rooms, and two of each for a total of ten. You two are in one of the Dark Rooms.  The Green themed rooms are furnished with plants and small fountains.  Medium theme looks more like my quarters, with lighter grays and some purples thrown in. Cool theme is mostly blues, with diffuse light to give an underwater or polar night kind of feeling.  Finally, the Light themed room is whites and pale yellows, with indirect light to create a feeling like a sunny day.”

A hum of approval. “I think that makes the most sense,” he agreed. “Not everyone finds the same things soothing, but I think you created enough variety to cover everyone.”

“So, how is the event going for you guys?”

Tyche sighed. “It’s going okay, but I’m not entirely certain that’s not because of who I am.  I haven’t seen any flashing lights, no loud music is playing, so that’s good.  The vendors have been very deferential, which I didn’t think to expect, honestly.”

“I don’t think that’s because of you,” I hummed. “Derek is having a similar experience, honestly.  Sam has reported some vendors with fragrant stalls, but that’s been addressed.  Alistair, anything else?”

Without glancing up from his data screen, he shook his head. “Other than the incident with the smells, nothing negative reporting yet. Derek and Zachary have dutifully sent in additional reports regarding the reactions of each vendor to the food preference lists, so far the balance is in the positive. Samuel and Maverick are reporting similar responses.”

“And the upgrades?” Antoine asked hesitantly.

“So far, nothing major…” Alistair trailed off.  “Support personnel are reporting receiving proximity alerts from non-clients, and I’ve received several queries regarding if that is normal?”

“It’s expected,” Antoine sighed. “We are working on an algorithm that would reduce the alert volume for support personnel who are on duty and in the presence of their respective clients, but it wasn’t ready in time for this event.  But, yes, it is normal and to be expected.”

“Understood. Request approval to release a mass communication to all registered support personnel?”

“Approved,” Antoine and I answered immediately.  I continued. “Alistair, do we have any reports regarding the effectiveness of the dampeners?”

“Yes and no,” he stated. “General reports indicate conditions that are difficult to separate from the intended atmosphere of the event.”

“Tyche, are you still on Level Fourteen?”

“Yeah, why?”

“If we send you the reports from any participants in that area, do you have time to corroborate?”

“I mean, I do, but I thought I was supposed to be participating?”

“Sorry,” I winced in contrition. “You’re right. I just… got ahead of myself. Yeah, it can wait until after your shift at the event.  Just make sure you’re recording your observations so you can do an accurate comparison later, okay?”

“We’re both recording full video, Soph,” she assured me, a rustling noise in the background. “I’m about to head back out into it, but I promise to keep my eyes peeled.  I’ll keep shooting reports to you as I make my way through the vendors, okay?”

“Sounds good,” I exhaled, leaning back in my seat as she disconnected.  Watching the map for a few more minutes, I saw all three teams circulating through the event.  Sometimes a team would stop at a Quiet Room for several minutes before continuing.  Small reports were trickling in, some from the three teams, some from vendors, and others from support people who were simply attending the event in a professional capacity.  However, no further urgent matters were reported aside from Derek and Sam finding a handful of new foods each.

Finally, we were approaching the end of the low-stim session.

“Alpha Shift teams, relief teams for Beta Shift are on their way,” I notified them once we were fifteen minutes out from the end. “Beta Shift teams, please report when you are online.”

“Amelie Marechal, Crowd Control, reporting online and heading to rendezvous with Derek and Zach,” a cheerful voice chirped not two minutes later. I managed to smother a chuckle as Alistair scowled at me, remembering our conversation the day before.

“Coffee Williams, Crowd Control, reporting online and arriving to relieve Costa and Reid” came the next, this time a smooth baritone.  I hadn’t spent much time around the man, but Antoine assured me that he was perfect for diffusing difficult situations.

“Ivan Thorson, Crowd Control, online,” followed quickly after.  “Heading to meet with Amelie and relieve Tyche and Antoine.”

The next two Beta Shift members left me speechless. “Conor MacMaoilir, Crowd Control, online and relieving Maverick and Sam.”

“Grey Hodenson, Crowd Control Command, online. I’m with Conor and we are relieving Okima and Richardson.”

Alistair managed to sneak in a couple surprises of his own, apparently.  When I glared at him, he merely smirked at me before tipping a non-existent hat towards me.  I barely caught Mr. William’s teammate checking in before I managed to recover. “Sophia Reid, Alpha Shift Resource Command, reporting for hand off to Crowd Control Command. Grey, confirm handoff?”

“Handoff complete, Sophia,” came the familiar, neutral voice. Finally, they cracked and I could hear a smile in their next words. “Please take care to get some rest between now and Delta shift.  We expect that shift to be crowded, and you will be Resource Observation. Also, I would like to request that you do not allow Xiomara to kill Simon?”

“Hey, that’s a tall order!” I objected, only half-joking. “I’ll try, no promises. And I promise to get some rest.  First, I need Alpha shift teams to come debrief in my office, then I’ll take a rest interval for Gamma.  Deal?”

“Mr. MacMaoilir and I agree that is sufficient.”

“Maverick, make sure she gets some sleep, or I’ll let Tyche give you what for,” Conor interjected. I didn’t even try to suppress the groan that followed.

Introducing the two of them had turned out to be a terrible idea on my part.

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[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: Moving On With Toy Story 4

My intention was to polish this out but I’ve been in a funk all day, so have some raw and rambling Thursday Thoughts.

Let’s start with a brief spoiler-free review. I’ll get into spoilers below the cut.

Every step of the way, Toy Story 4 did not do what I expected it to do. It repeatedly chose new directions over old trends, and I came away feeling both grateful and impressed.

At the same time, this story kept continuity with the previous films very well. The characters and world felt comfortable and consistent.

While I like the direction the movie ultimately took, I don’t think I’m ever going to be completely behind “character continually tries to throw self in garbage as comedy” as a concept. Especially given how the Toy Story franchise previously established extremely negative connotations for “trash” and being “thrown away.” This movie raises some uncomfortable philosophical questions about the Toy Story world which I would expect to be played with in the realms of fanfiction and Reddit threads, but which don’t seem appropriate to me to be grappled with in the actual canon content.

That said, I was pleasantly surprised by the way that this movie, in a brief line of dialogue, redefines the concept of trash, taking one of those new directions that I alluded to before. It felt like too little too late for me to entirely like the concept, but it is a positive note. Similarly, Bo Peep is beyond awesome in this film, and the sheer number of incidental female non-villainous characters in this film blows ordinary standards for male-to-female film ratios out of the water, but it all feels like too little too late to call the franchise as a whole “feminist.”

Another pleasant surprise was the ending of the film. Toy Story 4 delivers a concluding note to the overarching Toy Story franchise that is just as cathartic and satisfying as the ending of Toy Story 3, albeit with a much different message. So now we have a franchise with two endings. This irks my inner writer – I’m a firm believer that stories should have a solid beginning and end, and then we should move on to other stories. A story that ends twice is awkward. But I also really like both endings, viewed separately from each other, for different reasons.

There will be a picture here (of the Toy Story 4 movie poster), and a “read more” cut, and then spoilers!

I said earlier that the Toy Story franchise is not as a whole feminist. That said, Toy Story 4 on its own is a feminist film.

Toy Story 4 is the story of a man realizing that the world does not revolve around him anymore, and that it might never really have revolved around him, and that that is absolutely a good thing. Where Toy Story 3 defined Woody’s emotional journey as growing to let go of Andy, Toy Story 4 transforms his journey into letting go of his purpose (as a toy who supports and is loved by a specific kid) and finding a new one. And that new purpose he finds is making sure that other people – primarily women – get what they want and find their own purposes.

At the end of the flashback that opens the film, which explains how Bo Peep was given away, I turned to my boyfriend and said, “Wow.” Not because of the stunning animation, or the fantastic music, or the nostalgia inherent to seeing the gang in Andy’s room once again – but because Bo asks Woody to come with her. Up to this point, Bo Peep did not have a personality outside of Woody. She was exactly what Andy imagined her to be – his damsel in distress. Every single line of dialogue she had in the first two films were either to Woody or about Woody. She had no desires, no independence.

The opening of Toy Story 4 makes it crystal clear that Bo is her own person. She’s quickly established as the leader of Molly’s room, just like Woody is the leader in Andy’s, and she’s an equal participant to Woody in the rescue of RC. Plenty of films would leave it at that, making Bo a female equivalent to Woody. But Toy Story 4 has Bo take things one step further. When Woody tells her to hide and stay with him, she tells him no. Molly and Andy don’t need her anymore, so she’s going to move on to the next kid who does need her. And then she asks Woody to come with her. He doesn’t go – he’s still too attached to Andy, and to Andy’s need for him. But the fact that Bo asks at all, rather than putting Woody’s wishes first, is a big deal.

Fast forward to the end of the film, and once again Bo doesn’t want to stay with Woody and his kid, and once again Bo asks Woody to come with her. This time, she gets what she wants. She remains a “lost toy,” she gets to see the world, and she gets to have Woody there with her.

Bo isn’t the only female character whose desires drive the plot of the film. Woody’s motivation for most of the film is to keep Bonnie happy. This means sitting in the closet when she doesn’t want to play with him (side note – I smiled when Bonnie took the sheriff badge off of Woody and put it on Jessie instead. I used to do the same sort of thing with my toys, taking the hair off of the Playmobil princess and using it to turn the knight into a girl. Where we don’t have representation, we make our own). This also means keeping Forky around.

Forky. Oh, Forky. I don’t really have much else to say about him besides what I said in the spoiler-free part of this review. I did really like his and Woody’s conversation while walking along the highway. In Toy Story 2, “trash” was a zombie-hand hellscape. In Toy Story 3, the garbage dump was a Holocaust-style death camp. Toy Story 4 puts “trash” in a more positive light – “you’ve fulfilled your purpose.” It’s said once, and passed over very quickly – from that point onward, Forky seems 100% on board with being a toy, and the word “trash” is hardly used again. I wish they’d established this concept earlier in the series somehow, but I’m not sure where I would have put it.

The point is, Forky doesn’t get what he wants, either (unless we assume that he wants a female companion, which… really, post-credits-scene? Really?). Woody wins him over to the cause of making sure Bonnie gets what she wants.

And then there’s Gabby Gabby. She was another pleasant surprise. At first she seemed cut from the same cloth as other animated villains – Lotso Huggin’ Bear from Toy Story 3 is a good example. She wants what the hero has, and is apparently willing to kill in order to get what she wants (that scene where the dummies are ripping Woody apart – dark stuff!). I actually laughed a lot during her scenes, because of how the movie overly plays into villainous tropes in her early characterization, and horror tropes for the dummies. I sighed and rolled my eyes when it became clear that Bo and Gabby already hated each other – girls just aren’t supposed to get along in movies, are they. Gabby uses Forky to learn enough about Woody to convince him to give her his voicebox, but she gets rejected by the child she’s been idolizing regardless.

And I waited for Gabby to snap, to turn monstrous, to try to destroy Forky and Woody, and for the film to summarily punish this woman for daring to take something away from the male hero by trapping her in a shelf or sticking her with a kid who likes to torture toys or something.

But none of that happened. Gabby isn’t evil. She genuinely does want what Woody’s been so fortunate to have – a loving relationship with a kid – and Woody recognizes this, and decides to help her. Gabby Gabby gets a happy ending, with a new child, a new voice, and a new life.

This film could have ended with Woody getting everything he wanted. He could have kept his voicebox. Bo and the other “lost toys” could have come home to stay with Bonnie. For a while, it looked like these things might happen. But they didn’t.

Instead, Woody changed what he wanted. He rededicated his life to making sure that other toys and kids would get what they wanted. He goes on to help the other carnival toys find kids of their own, if they want them, and lives happily with the “lost toys” who don’t want them.

If there’s a villain in this film, it’s Woody’s single-mindedness – that’s what keeps getting other people and himself hurt as he pursues his goals in the first two-thirds of the film. Things start to go right when Woody starts to give up pieces of himself and his identity. Him giving his voicebox to Gabby, and later giving the sheriff’s badge to Jessie, are symbols of someone who has had success recognizing that it’s time to pass the torch to someone else, recognizing that what was once “his” world no longer needs him, and accepting that that is alright.

Where Toy Story 3 closed the circle, Toy Story 4 steps forward into a new world. Both are satisfying to my writer brain, albeit for different reasons. My inner social justice warrior is a bigger fan of the latter.

[uselessnocturnal]

promises we’ve made

parkner | orpheus and eurydice au | chapter one | underneath his wing

summary; a parkner au of hadestown and the myth of orpheus and eurydice

“How far would you go for Harley?”

"To the end of time.” Peter says firmly, gripping his mask in one hand, “to the end of the universe.”

"It’s no spaceship,” Tony warns him, “Getting to Thanos is not an easy path – not for the sensitive of souls”

He pauses. "So do you really wanna go?”

"With all my heart.”

Tony regards him. “Well, that’s a start.”

-

chapter summary; 

“Hermes? Like the Greek god?”

“Shhh,” he raises a finger to his lips and leans in slightly, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, “I’m incognito. Call me Tony. Tony Stark.”

“A god called Tony?” Peter asks sceptically, as though that’s the weirdest thing he’s seen today.

Tony draws back in mock offence, “Yeah, shut up kid.”

notes; I've planned every chapter for except the last cos I still don't know how it will end oops. Inspiration from Hadestown and also some Percy Jackson because that series was the foundation for all my Greek mythology knowledge. It's my first mcu fic that I've /actually/ written and first parkner fic. Let me know if you have any questions because this universe is probably a bit confusing cos I have merged...everything.

read here on ao3!

---

As many Greek tales begin, this one starts with a god and a mortal. And, as many Greek tales do, it ends with tragedy. Still, there is always the slightest belief that perhaps this time, this time the story might just turn out differently.

Hermes spends a lot of his time in the mortal realm. As the god of messages and travelling, Zeus doesn’t even know how busy he is - what with all the up and coming technology and developments and aliens!His immortal life just got a whole lot more interesting.

Even so, he only ever watches them as they scurry about their fleeting lives - some search for meaning, some scrambling to leaving a mark on their world - really, it is fascinating. And yet, rarely does he interact with them.

To be fair, few believe the gods of Ancient Greece actually exist anymore. Demigod children and rare and far apart (he’s not quite sure how Zeus has managed to keep it in his pants - it’s almost impressive) and have practically died out. They had sworn an oath to no longer consort with mortals but really, when has a little thing like consequences ever bothered the gods?

No. Hermes tries not to interfere with mortal lives. More often than not, the gods’ involvement only ends in doom. Still, he’s only one god whose impulse control is his father’s threats and in the past century or so, he’s been involved with two mortal lives: once was an accident and the other by choice. And somehow, by a strange twist of fate, these two lives collide.

Ultimately, it’s their story that’s being told.

It mostly starts when he meets Peter Parker.

He’d watched the boy for a while now. Never before had he seen someone so well-intentioned and pure of heart and so, so willing to throw himself into all sorts of unnecessary danger. Hermes isn’t one to get attached (mortals die too quickly and too easily) but he can feel the fondness growing for the boy and he did not want to see him die if he could do anything about it.

You see, Peter Parker was also Queens’ friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man. And every night he dresses up in red and blue pyjamas and goes out stopping petty crime in his city. It’s rather noble, Hermes decides, though if the kid could try his best not to get shot and fix himself up on his fire escape in the middle of the night, it would do wonders for Hermes’ immortal heart.  

For all the oaths they’ve sworn about not having any more demigod children blah blah blah, not once has Zeus said anything about just…talking – maybe mentoring? – a random mortal. Of course, Hermes is going to take advantage of the loophole and chooses to do something about Peter Parker. Technically he’s not breaking any rules.

And so, Hermes starts to scheme.

It’s been a while since he talked to a mortal so obviously, he needs to make sure he doesn’t come across as a crazy person. Turns out, he’s not a huge fan of planning and decides to turn up outside the door of the Parker residence the next day.

He takes the form of a mortal – wears a business suit, a funky pair of orange-tinted sunglasses, throws on an odd goatee he must’ve seen on a poster and gives himself a moment to adjust to the vulnerability and smallness of a human (he’s so short this is ridiculous!).

He still doesn’t have a plan.

He’s a god, he doesn’t need that. The kid’s a mere fifteen years old – a complete baby! – and Hermes is just here to provide some extra protection.

Really though, all he did was find all the tech Peter might need to make a new-and-improved-not-just-cotton Spidey suit and shove it into a purple paper gift bag.

The door flies open.

Hermes hasn’t even rung the bell.

Peter stands in the doorway, eyes alert like he’s expecting some sort of attack. Hermes tries not to show his surprise and hopes that the wings on his shoes don’t make an appearance because that would be incredibly difficult to explain.

The two stare at each other for a while.

“Uh…who are you?”

Hermes opens his mouth to answer when Peter’s gaze drops and fixates on Hermes’ shoes. Or more specifically, the wings that seem to have taken a mind of their own and flutter nervously by his ankles.

His mouth drops open almost comically. “Hermes? Like the Greek god?”

Now, Hermes is stunned. How the kid’s perceptiveness slipped his notice he has no idea. He tries not to flinch at the use of his godly name, straightens up and pulls a smirk onto his face.

“Shhh,” he raises a finger to his lips and leans in slightly, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, “I’m incognito. Call me Tony. Tony Stark.”

“A god called Tony?” Peter asks sceptically, as though that’s the weirdest thing he’s seen today.

HermesTony draws back in mock offence, “Yeah, shut up kid.”

Peter’s eyebrows are drawn together in confusion but he nods slowly.

“What are you doing here, Mr Herm- Mr Stark?”

“I want to discuss something with you.”

When Peter doesn’t make a move to bring Tony in and perhaps give them some form of secrecy, Tony rolls his eyes and juts a thumb into the flat, “Private matters. Of the arachnid sort.”

Peter’s eyes widen and he practically drags Tony – he is a god! – into the flat.

“What are you talking about?” Peter hisses, suddenly on the alert again.

“Look, kid. I’ve seen what you can do and I’m not gonna stop you. Nor am I going to out you. I do think you’re doing good.”

As Peter flushes slightly at the praise, Tony ploughs on, “But then again, I don’t want you dying anytime soon so I’ve found some tech that you can use to make a suit that can protect you better than those pyjamas.”

He holds up a hand to stop Peter’s protests, “I know you have the skill to make your own stuff – I’ve seen your webshooters in action – this is just for your own safety.”

By the gods he sounds like a mother. He’s known of this kid for a couple months and he’s already attached. There’s no way this will end well.

He lets his hand fall, allowing the kid to speak. “Well, questions?”

“This is amazing Mr Stark! Thank you! But…” Peter starts, slowing his tone, “when you say found the tech did you mean…steal from Hephaestus?”

Tony splutters indignantly because no, he had actually asked nicely! but when he sees Peter stifling his laughter, he lets his lips quirk up in the smallest of smiles.

“You’re gonna be the death of me kid.”

[lovenotereminders]

"You're worthless, Julianne. The Dazz fandom does not care about you or your art. No one loves you either, you should shut the fuck up about your special interest and how you use fictional characters to comfort you when you get beaten up by your grandma. You should kill yourself Julianne, no one loves you"- Me to myself rn

I seriously want to eat glitter rn lmao

Please don’t listen to those voices. Those intrusive thoughts are NOT and are NEVER telling you the truth - they’re cruel and dishonest. They’re telling you what they know will make you feel the worst and playing into your deepest fears. Please try not to listen to them. 

I need help, I need people to give me shout outs, I need people to give me reblogs, I need the likes, the complements, the love, the asks, the love, the help

I need people to know I exist

It’s okay to ask for that help! Reach out to popular blogs in your fandom and drop them a message asking if they’d be willing to give a young, upcoming, obscure artist a shoutout, or make a post looking for people to follow in the communities you’re engaged in, telling people to reblog the post if they want you to follow them, and mention in the post you’d like people to follow you back so you can be mutuals. Mention in the caption or tags of your art that you’d really appreciate it if people reblogged your art. You are allowed to ask for help. 

The thing is- I feel like my experience with that artist made me feel like I needed to go up against her. To be better than her in all aspects.

I promise that you don’t. Notes and followers aren’t a measure of how good or not good you are. All being more ‘popular’ than her would give you is a sense of smug but empty satisfaction. It wouldn’t erase what happened or the pain you felt, or how unfair her treatment of you was. Dedicating yourself to trying to surpass her isn’t an effective way to move past what happened and recover from it - it’s just going to make you feel worse. Comparing yourself to others isn’t healthy, and it’s not an accurate measure of your worth. You are still worthy, regardless of how much attention your art gets. 

I feel like no one ever appreciates my art and efforts. And if there is any, then they might just be faking it. No one cares if I exist or killed myself.

Every time you hear your mind telling you nobody cares, or nobody appreciates you, I need you to tell yourself that it’s not true. That those thoughts are lying to you. They’re lies told by your mental illness and you don’t have to listen to them. 

I have plans on burning my drawings and sketchbook then burning myself. It makes me sad that no one cares if I make art or not.

Plus, no matter how hard I try, and no matter how many lunches I skip and vomit out to buy art materials, no one sees my effort. I'm worth less.

The most I can get out of a post is only about 10 and that's it.

Please take care of yourself. Your art is not the only thing about you that’s worthwhile. YOU care if you make art, and that’s the only person whose opinion matters. Your art is your escapism, your expression, your creativity. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, or even if nobody sees it at all. An artist who doesn’t show their art to anyone is worth just as much as an artist who posters it all over for everyone to see. So many artists who are famous today were relatively obscure during their lifetimes. Vincent van Gough. Emily Dickenson. Edgar Allen Poe. Oscar Wilde. If they had given up because they felt their art was worthless, the world would be deprived of so many beautiful and influential creations. Your art is worthwhile, even if the only person who thinks so is you, that’s the ONLY person who matters. Yes, it’s nice to have external validation, but the only person you need to please is yourself. 

I'm killing myself today, I really wish it does carry on today.

Can I please kill myself?? No one loves me anyway!!

Please please reach out to someone for help. You’re in a really bad place right now and I know it’s really hard not to believe those voices inside your head that are telling you all these lies. But I promise you they are lies. And I promise you things do get better. You’re suffering from an illness, but that illness can be treated, and you can get past this, even if you can’t see a way out right now. 

People do care about you and we want you to get through this, and reaching out to me for help is a brave first step, but there’s not much else I can do from here, except to try and reassure you that the things you’re being told by your mental illness aren’t true. So please, if you’re in immediate danger, call a suicide hotline or an ambulance. Go to a hospital if you need to. There’s no shame in that. It’s okay to need treatment in an emergency, and please reach out for it. If there’s someone you trust nearby to you, get them to come over and remove anything you could use to harm yourself with. If you’re not already in therapy, it’s something I really urge you to consider looking into. I would also recommend speaking to your doctor about reviewing your meds, because you shouldn’t be feeling like this on your meds. You’re sick - mental illness is a sickness, and I know how rough it is because I’ve been there, but I also know that recovery is achievable, including for you, and that you should reach out for treatment, the same way you would if you had a physical illness or if you were in an accident. 

Please be safe, we care about you

[anhed-nia]

10/16/2018: THANATOMORPHOSE

I don’t think I’ve ever done this before, but I really have to write my 10/17 review before my 10/16 review, because if I don’t get this fucking movie off my plate immediately, I’m going to hurt myself or someone else.

[EDIT: It really was my 10/16 movie. I just hate this movie so much that I forgot what day it was, and I’m going to leave this mistake here in service of that commentary.]

If this big stupid pretentious pussy poster doesn’t give you pause, well, then maybe you will actually enjoy an entire movie that does nothing but connect the very obvious dots between the reality of being a boring loser, and the fantasy of being a living corpse. In Éric Falardeau’s feature debut, which absolutely should have been a short like the rest of his production, Suicide Girl-ish model Kayden Rose plays a failed sculptress with shitty friends and a shitty boyfriend and a shitty lover and a shitty life who just rolls around in her shitty apartment all day until she literally becomes a human bedsore. Virtually nothing else transpires in the movie: She rots, she vomits up maggots and/or semen, she masturbates compulsively (which doesn’t seem like a fun thing to do when you can feel your soft tissue deteriorating, but what the fuck do I know?). That’s the movie.

Amazingly, even though the film is so totally inert, it still manages to build up a massive rap sheet of unforgivable crimes. The very premise is a big problem: its central metaphor (which is almost not even a metaphor), equating wasting your life, with physically wasting away. I mean...who cares, right? This is actually the very question that Kayden Rose answers out loud, repeatedly--“Nobody cares”--and the problem is that you don’t find yourself wishing somebody would begin to care for her. Depression and hopelessness are the veritable bread and butter of horror, things very worth artistic exploration, but it’s hard to feel compelled when the central character is nothing but a body: a mostly nude mannequin whose tits or ass or crotch are often right in the middle of the frame, and whose acting and diction are so atrocious that it’s pretty clear the director only sees her as a hot body, or a body on which he can hang a lot of special effects.

Which brings me to my second charge, that THANATOMORPHOSE seems to want to deliver some sort of message about misogyny, and is absolutely incapable of doing so. Body horror is a really great playing field for exploring female experience. Women experience both the inside and outside of our bodies as a matter of course, whether we like it or not, in ways that are can often be involuntary, distressing, painful, or all three at once. Even a lot of  male-oriented body horror is aimed at men’s fears of female experience--see: the equal opportunity forced pregnancy of the ALIEN franchise, or James Woods’ abdominal vagina in VIDEODROME. The thing is (and I shouldn’t have to say this), it only works when there’s a richer narrative that assigns meaning to these experiences, or at the very least, a character with more than one dimension. Kayden Rose gets beat up by her boyfriend, her side piece isn’t that much nicer to her, and her friends are happy to point out that she’s covered in bruises without making any helpful suggestions. She responds to all this with a vague, gestural self-pity that makes her transformation into a zombie feel like a foregone, and not very interesting, conclusion. “Blowjobs are gross and periods are gross,” Falardeau seems to say, without realizing that these juvenile observations don’t bring any psychological depth to the empty displays of misogyny in his movie.

And look, I’m not much of a theater person. I don’t need heavy duty character studies or dense, twisty narratives to justify a movie’s existence. I’m perfectly satisfied with imagery and air quality. Unfortunately, THANATOMORPHOSE’s willful commitment to showing absolutely nothing happening for intolerable stretches of time is not supported by any kind of aesthetic interest. Maybe Falardeau thinks this is supposed to be a hard gore version of JEANNE DIELMAN, 23 QUAI DU COMMERCE, but he’s got a lot to learn about tension, atmosphere, and even just photography, before he gets there.

Really the only thing THANATOMORPHOSE has to offer is, like its obvious (and vastly superior) ancestor NEKROMANTIC, some pretty excellent special effects. This is all thanks to David Scherer, an accomplished and prolific makeup and effects artist who no one would be surprised to hear has worked with the likes of Gaspar Noe, and Hélène Cattet and Bruno Forzani. It’s hard to estimate how many hours of Scherer’s work must have gone into this otherwise hollow film, so that at least Kayden Rose’s rotting corpse looks great. I’m forced to admit that, due only to this artistry, I was strangely compelled by the very, very end of the movie. We--by which I generally mean, “the West”--have a highly dysfunctional relationship with the idea of death. Many people live happily with the delusion that it is like some exotic cancer, something that only happens to other people. We find the concept of the cessation of existence, of consciousness, of physical integrity, so disturbing that we don’t even permit other people the autonomous mercies of euthanasia or suicide, no matter how deteriorated is their quality of life. When you make any topic this taboo, you eliminate the possibility for anyone to address it in a dignified, peaceable manner. In this way, people are condemned to live in unnecessary terror of the natural inevitability of death, to live with endless physical agonies, to watch with horror the disintegration of the body--that thing which is not only our vehicle in this world, but with which we so strongly identify our “self”. There is no explanation for why the protagonist’s body is disappearing out from under her mind, but in her final moments, Scherer’s makeup effects help frame this movie as a vivid nightmare about the intolerable separation of the mind and the body--a trauma that may happen to any of us, even many of us, at any time and for any reason.

...that said, because of Kayden Rose’s mysteriously persistent consciousness, I had to wonder: “Ok so, just because she’s been separated into all of her parts now, does that actually mean she’s dead? Or like are her molecules still alive? I mean even though the movie is over, could something still happen after this?” I don’t usually indulge such nerdy logistical exercises, and I rarely obligate movies to make sense as long as they have other virtues. Suffice it to say, my aberrant behavior can stand as evidence of the near-total lack of virtue of THANATOMORPHOSE, and I’m really just glad the movie is over.

[burnouts3s3]

Simoun, a review

(Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit unprofessional blog post written by an unprofessional blog poster. All purported facts and statement are little more than the subjective, biased opinion of said blog poster. In other words, don’t take anything I say too seriously.) Just the facts 'Cause you're in a Hurry! Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price for Season (MSRP): 25.00 USD How much I paid: 23 Dollars USD. Number of Episodes: 26 Episodes Price per episode: 1 Dollar per episode Length per Episode: 25 Minutes on average. 21 Without Intro and Ending song. Number of Discs: 5 DVD Discs in total.   Episodes per Disc: 5 or 6. Licensed and Localized by: Media Blasters Animation Studio: Deen Audio: Japanese Audio with Subtitles available Bonus Features: Staff and Voice Actor Commentary. My Personal Biases: I actually saw Simoun a while back but never reviewed it. I like other shows in the Shoujo Ai genre such as Mai Hime, Mai Otome, Maria Watches over Us, Strawberry Panic and yes, even Kannazuki no Miko/Destiny of the Shrine Maiden.   My Verdict: Simoun is probably one of the best shows and anime series I’ve seen even if it wasn’t part of the shoujo ai genre. It stands up to one of the best in the business with its beautiful animation, amazing soundtrack, incredible world building and interesting characters. But its tone and message is joyless, sullen and grim. Even when the series has a handful of hopeful (not happy mind you) scenes, there’s still the sense of loss. If you can stomach some truly heart wrenching scenes, check this show out when you can. A/N: Okay, so Media Blasters is the official licenser of the show and translated most of the subs. A lot of the names were also translated but a lot of fans noticed a change in names. Mainly, a lot of characters whose names end with a “u” end up having the “u” dropped. So Caimu is Kaim, Anubitufu is Anubituf and Aeru is Aer. Also, Rodoreamon is apparently Rotreamon now. I’m going to use the names Media Blasters chose for the characters for the sake of simplicity. Simoun, a review

I consider myself a fan of shoujo-ai or Yuri anime. I own a couple of boxsets of Yuri anime. I watch Yuri anime. Even the stuff that bores me (Strawberry Panic) or annoys me (Kannazuki no Miko/Destiny of the Shrine Maiden) at least makes me rewatch it again and again. Like all things, I tend to have agreements of which shows I like and which shows I detest like the fucking plague. But, then comes a series that not only makes me rethink preconceptions I had about religion, war, politics, children, innocence and romances, but also makes me rethink myself and how I rate things on a good or bad rating. Simoun is a particularly hard series for me to review. It’s a study of contrasts. While I can honestly say the efforts put forth by the director, the animators, the voice actors and the writers is nothing less than something I find in a movie studio and the passion put into this project is nothing less than soul bearing, it remains one of the most polarizing and controversial shows I’ve ever reviewed. So, let me say this upfront so you can understand where I’m coming from: Simoun is a fantastic anime that covers the concepts of children at war, religion rivaling technology, gender roles, maturity, war in the name of religion, and the loss of innocence… that also happens to have lesbian romances. It’s probably one of the few shows that’s legitimately good and can recommend to people who aren’t shoujo ai fans. The scope magnificent, the animation, even the stilled shots, are gorgeous to look at, the music is haunting and the characters and voice actors do their absolute best to make the characters come alive. Even the use of CGI ships against a 2D backdrop manage to still look compelling (if a bit dated). A war breaks out between three nations Simulacrum, Argentum, and Plumbum over Simulacrum helical motor technology that powers the airships known as Simouns. Two fleets of the Simoun, Chor Caput and Chor Tempest, stumble upon a huge Argentum airship fleet attempting steal a Simoun. Suffering massive losses in the battle, the pair Neviril and Amuria of Chor Tempest attempt an extremely powerful but extremely dangerous maneuver out of desperation named the Emerald Ri Mājon. Neviril hesitates after making eye contact with the enemy, and the pair fail resulting in an explosion that takes Amuria with it. The fight leaves the sibyllae or members of Chor Tempest extremely demoralized and Neviril in despair. This is not Strawberry Panic, an all-girls school romance; this is Ender’s Game and Top Gun for the Shoujo Ai Genre. I would even hesitate to use the word Romance to describe this show because of how dark and at times bleak it can get. But, if you can stomach through the hardships and the gut wrenching scenes, you will find a light at the end of the tunnel and will find hope for the world and its characters. The people of Daikūriku are all born female. In Simulacrum, the girls grow up until age of seventeen, when they make a pilgrimage to a holy place known as "the Spring" to select their permanent sex. Four new sibyllae join Chor Tempest, one of them an excellent pilot with an unshakeable morale named Aer. Aer immediately decides to partner with Neviril, however despite her persistent attempts, Neviril remains too mired in her grief over Amuria's death to accept her. How committed are the producers to this premise of everyone being born female? So committed that they literally hired only female voice performers to voice all the characters, even the older men with facial hair. It’s that fact that haunts the world around them. Certain countries do not have access to the well so they have to perform sex reassignment surgery operations for half of the population to keep them afloat. And the use of such technology is polluting their world to the point of seeing nothing but red and black. This show came out in 2006 before the idea of there being more than 2 genders, debates on whether gender and general roles are a social or biological constructs and gender fluidity became popularized on internet sites like Tumblr. (I will point out to my internet skeptic friends that the show’s setting depicts EVERYONE as being born biologically female and, according to this world, that certain members MUST transition to the male gender to keep society functioning.) But be warned; the show can get bleak and downright depressing at times. If you thought it was hard to sit through some of the darker parts of Kannazuki no Miko or My-Hime, you haven’t seen anything yet! For example, as early as Episode 4 (one of the ‘filler’ episodes), Aer and Rimone take an unauthorized flight and get ambushed on the ground by an enemy soldier. The Soldier dies only to have his body stiffen up with his hands on the controls of the Simoun. Rimone points out that prying his hands off will break the controls, stranding them there in enemy territory while the enemy comes closer. So Aer has to take her tiny pocket knife and SAW OFF THE SOLDIER’S HANDS FROM THE REST OF HIS BODY. It’s not even the amount of blood or gore that’s disturbing; it’s seeing a child having to endure and do such a thing that’s so messed up. See, one of the interesting things I love is seeing how characters interact or react to the world around them. In Simoun, the Sybillae are so used to the idea of war that hearing about people dying is nothing new for them but the idea of having to deal with a mouse is frightening. It’s the type of world where a kiss on the lips between women is so commonplace but Rotreamon cutting off her braids is more dramatic. If there’s a consequence to the proceedings it’s the characters. Don’t get me wrong; the characters aren’t ‘bad’ per say and a lot are very interesting and have interesting dynamics, such as the incestuous undertone of Kaim and Alti, the mechanic Waporif dealing with the idea of faith and technology, the class struggle between Roderamon and Mamina. Even Floe, the cute girl and comedic relief, doesn’t escape the world unscathed. It’s just that the world and the situations and the conflict are so interesting, that you start to notice that the characters are a bit on the stock type. (Then again, I think you need familiar stock types so you can digest some of the bigger concepts.) But our main pair, Neviril and Aer, are the center of the proceedings and it’s their relationship that nails it. You get the sense that Neviril and Aer are both locked in a sense of immaturity, albeit from different perspectives. Neviril is locked in the idea of being pure and being a priestess forever, even going so far as to not fly again once Amuria dies. Aer, meanwhile, is an impulsive hothead who wants to do nothing but fly, even at the cost of being an adolescence. But as the war rages on and the casualties of people they know and love start piling up, the two eventually find comfort in each other’s arms. It first seems like Aer is the stronger of the two only for her to completely break down when one death becomes one death too many. If Junji Nishimura’s direction and co-writing are what brings the characters alive, Toshihiko Sahashi’s music is what makes them transcendent. Every so often, he would incorporate pieces of church music, classical music and tango to make the dichotomy and juxtaposition of certain scenes blow you away. Yes, Tango.

Towards the latter half of the series, I noticed that the animation liked to use still shots with characters still talking. At first, I thought this was intentional by the showrunners. But, as I rewatched the series, it dawned on me that the animation budget was probably blown on the CGI battles and the rest of the team had to resort to cost saving techniques for the show. CAVEAT: Shows like Simoun do not get made every day. Directors and writers willing this bold of a risk to tell this dense of a tale should be rewarded. And yet for the same time, it’s not for the faint of heart. It’s not for the casual viewer. In some ways, it’s not even for anime fans. This is the anime version of 12 years a Slave as it provides a brutal, harsh and unflinching look at the world. Do you hate this show? No, because if I hated it, I’d simply write it off and say it’s a piece of crap just to be done with it. It’s not. If anything, Simoun is an ambitious anime made by well-intentioned people that for a lot of people is not going to resonate with them. And I’m not even throwing shade on religious viewers who have trouble digesting the heavier concepts. Even more progressive minded viewers are not going to sign on to a lot of the negative and just melancholy tones throughout the work. The work isn’t so much dark as say parts of Kannazuki or Mai Hime are as it is bleak. There’s a sense of melancholy in the air that just persists and there’s no getting rid of it with glimmers of hope scattered here and there. Why is recommending the anime so hard for you if you thought it was good? Because for a lot of people, a lot of the world building, concept provoking and issue debates are not what they wanted. Aside from the heavy themes and messages, a lot of the technical flaws do stick out. Neviril and other character designs were a bit off putting to me the first time I saw it, resembling more like dolls than usual anime characters. The CGI Simouns are interesting in concept (and I like the idea of rendering them in CG to show off how alien/foreign they are) but do show a dated look. And for some people, the slow (intentionally deliberate or not) pacing will drive them nuts.   I came upon Simoun as I was exploring Yuri anime and wanted to see, yes, anime girls kissing. What I got instead were thought provoking concepts that only changed my view but changed the views of people around me. Buying this show just to watch girls kissing each other is like, as Jeff Foxworthy said, buying a 747 just to eat the peanuts. Erica Friedman, writer of the blog Okazu Yuri, once said this show is not for the Lowest Common Denominator. And upon rewatching Simoun, I had the startling realization that not only was Friedman right but also that I was part of the Lowest Common Denominator. Simoun is more of a show that I admire and respect the hell of, than I actually like and the fault lies more because of me than what the show did. And for 23 USD with the amount of content AND the numerous special features including Director Commentary and cast interviews, this is truly a must buy! That ending shot gets me every time. Verdict: Buy it!

[rogersdaily]

Once Upon a Time is on its last legs, and so too is the cast.

As the rain pours outside the Vancouver-based set, the cast has lost track of time filming in a giant green-screen room. They’ve spent the bulk of the day shooting a nine-person scene, gathered around a massive war-room table as they deliberate how best to deal with the show’s final threat.

The cast is unaware the cloud-covered sun has set outside as the scene changes. They’re still surrounded by green screen, but the Evil Queen’s castle has given way to a library, where Hook (Colin O’Donoghue) stands a safe distance from his daughter Alice (Rose Reynolds), their poisoned hearts keeping them apart.

One of their own is missing, Regina (Lana Parrilla), whose face is plastered on a royal proclamation poster that Robin (Tiera Skovbye) hands to Henry (Andrew J. West). The moment is tense as Robert Carlyle’s Rumplestilskin declares he’s the best man to take down his Wish Realm alter ego. He makes his exit through a green-screen door. “This is a toilet,” jokes Carlyle, breaking character amid his cast mates’ laughter. O’Donoghue gives him a wry smile. These two men, both on camera and off, have certainly come a long way since the show’s 2011 debut.

O’Donoghue actually joined the ABC fairy-tale drama in season 2, as famed Peter Pan nemesis Captain Hook. On OUAT, he was a foil for Carlyle’s Rumple — tldr; Hook was going to run off with Rumple’s wife, so Rumple killed her and took Hook’s hand, leading Hook to hunt his “crocodile” for centuries — and eventually a love interest for Emma (Jennifer Morrison). That version of Hook has since gotten his happy ending with Emma, with O’Donoghue continuing on the show in the rebooted seventh season as a Wish Realm version of the one-handed pirate, desperate to cure his poisoned heart and reunite with his daughter.

All these years later, Hook and Rumple are still intrinsically tied together, which is especially prevalent when it comes to the series finale. “These guys spent hundreds of years trying to kill each other,” O’Donoghue tells EW. “You see hundreds of years of this thing that has been bubbling underneath just come together.”

As you head into he final days of filming, how are you feeling? Are you ready to say goodbye to this character? COLIN O’DONOGHUE: I mean, I think we’re ending it in a good way. I think it’s great that we have a chance to put a full stop on the show. I’ll definitely miss elements of Hook because he’s been such a big part of my life for six years now, and you don’t normally get a chance to do that as an actor. It’s very, very rare that you get a chance to really explore a character. I’ve been lucky that with Hook, I’ve been able to do so many different things with him. It will be difficult to let go of Hook, but I think I’m ready to sort of see what’s next and all that kind of stuff, you know?

How do you feel about Hook’s ending? I kind of get two endings. I mean, essentially, original Hook got his happy ending last season, and I was really delighted with that. I was happy with the wedding episode and the fact that it’s a musical. This time around, it’s been really interesting with Wish Hook, because his motivation’s been completely different than original Hook’s was. It was all about his kid, and I’ve got two kids, and for it to end the way that it does with Alice is a very important thing, and I’m delighted with that.

Hook’s ending is intrinsically tied to Rumple’s. Anything you can tease? Without giving anything away, we see that Rumplestiltskin decides to do something to help Hook, and it’s a massive, massive, massive sacrifice for him. In the context of the relationship that they’ve had, I mean, these guys spent hundreds of years trying to kill each other, and that’s such a huge thing. For me, it helps that relationship really come full circle. You see hundreds of years of this thing that has been bubbling underneath just come together. It’s a very special moment.

Now that the curse is broken, what can you say of the dire circumstances the heroes are facing in the final two hours? Once the curse gets broken, then obviously, we sort of go, “Okay, well there’s still a few episodes left, but what’s going to happen?” We get to see a couple of alter egos come in, other Wish Realm characters that come in that are characters that we love and know. They come in and create a bit of hijinks, and are really way more evil than any person has been so far.

How does Wish Hook feel about having to face off against Wish Rumple? Wish Realm Hook has come across Wish Rumple and knows exactly what he’s like, and so he’s willing to do whatever it takes to try and save everybody.

Jennifer Morrison returned to set for the finale. What was it like having her return and getting this last beat for the couple? Having Jen back was great. I mean, look, we worked pretty much exclusively together for five years and built an onscreen relationship that I feel very proud of how that worked and how we worked together. It was just great to have her back for that day and have a bit of fun with everybody, and it was good.

What do you think will be OUAT’s legacy? I think, in years to come, people will look back and sort of look fondly on the fact that this was a show purely about hope and about good versus evil, but good always triumphs. At its heart and at its essence, it’s about love and hope, and in a way that is very grown-up. Even though its about fairy-tale characters, the writers have written [the show] in such a way that really goes to the heart of everybody, and I think that’s hopefully where it will endure.

What has Hook meant to you? I mean, Hook has meant everything to me. He’s been me for 14 hours a day for six years, pretty much. Hook’s allowed me to explore and play around with elements of me that I never had as Colin, you know? To be able to play and sword-fight and basically live like a kid for six years, so that’s been fun. I also had a family while we’ve been doing it, I’ve had my kids here, and it’s been a huge part of my life.

Can you talk about the importance of sending the message that anyone can get a happy ending? When I interact with any of the fans, you see this show has allowed people — especially people who feel like they’re marginalized, are off to the side, and not really part of society — and it’s created this whole other world where they realize there are other people there who feel the same way, and they get to connect together and through the fandoms. It’s taken on a life of its own, and I think this show allows you to see that if you believe in yourself, and even though there are hard times, there is hope. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, if you’re willing to believe in yourself and see it through.

What’s been the most poignant thing you’ve heard from a fan over the years? There’s been a couple of times where people have said that they were so desperately alone that they’ve considered taking their own lives, and through the show, they’ve met other people who felt the same way, and realized, “I’m not alone, there are people out there who I can talk to,” you know? That blows me away, where they feel, through this show, and through the love that they get from the other fans and people who are in the same situation, that they realize, “You know what, there is hope, there is light.”

If you could open a new chapter of Once Upon a Time 10 years later, what would you want it to be about? Ah, that’s good. Hook. [Laughs] No, I think it would be nice to see all the characters a little bit older and sort of having had happy endings and stuff, then to see what will happen and how they would deal with some sort of huge crisis and how that would impact them and their relationships and stuff there.

How would you describe the finale and how it compares to the last six season-enders we’ve seen? Well, I would definitely say the last episode is as epic as probably any episode that Once Upon a Time has ever done. I mean, it’s massive, it’s huge. It’s like taking the best of all seasons and jamming it into one — literally.

Anything you plan to steal from set? I can’t possibly tell you that. … Well, who do I play? [Winks]

What’s next for you? There might be a couple things in the pipeline, but I can’t actually say. But I can tell you what’s immediately next is I’m going to holiday — that is a given — for a couple of weeks. So yeah, I’m taking a break.

Once Upon a Time’s series finale airs over two weeks, starting Friday at 8 p.m. ET, and concluding Friday, May 18, at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.

[cougardraven]

It doesn't surprise me that people like Jim Clyburn and Jon Ossoff (who is, wildly, exactly six days older than me) are liberaling all over television news right now. They're liberals, and the thing about liberalism is that it only cares about itself. Sure, there are some vague grand-standing notions about equality and freedom, but at the end of the day it's about their pocketbooks and always has been. The only real difference, politically, between liberals and conservatives is that conservatives hate the marginalized, whereas liberals just don't care about them one way or another.  And so, ultimately, it's not going to be a surprise when Ossoff disowns M4A and Biden reinstates pro-corporate bullshit that Americans only narrowly avoided last time. Which brings me to 2022 and 2024.

A brief aside before I get into the meat of this: it’s been mildly frustrating seeing the popular news media call each of the last three elections “the most important election of our time”. Mainly that’s because this is the third straight chance we’ve had to avert disaster, and so far the most we’ve done is push it back a few years. 2016 was the most important election until 2018, which took the spot until 2020. But every election is important. Every election, arguably, is “the most important”, because they all shift the future of this nation and this society, and by doing so shift the world.

So. Joe Biden is going to be the President. That is a known quantity. What isn’t yet a known quantity is whether or not the Democratic Party can take the Senate. If they can’t, then it’s going to be at least two years of stagnancy, with the hope that Biden’s leadership can actually do something to stem the tide of COVID. If they can...well, that’s another animal entirely. Either way, it is the remit of congressional Democrats to actually fight for actual change. And some of them will. But quite a few of them won’t. Even knowing that every Democrat who lost last week was opposed to Medicare for All won’t change that. And that’s because they don’t really want to. It’s bad for business, you see.

So in two years, when Class 3 of the Senate is up for election, we’ll have a chance to remove people like Marco Rubio, Pat Toomey, and Rand Paul. But will that happen? I don’t think it’s likely. Remember that seventy million people voted for Trump. Remember that this is who we are. And remember that despite being the most obvious caricature of evil ever, Mitch McConnell beat Amy McGrath 58-38. So 2022 is an uphill battle at best, which means that the almost certain milquetoast reaction from a lot of “moderate” Dems (I’ll probably write something about how bullshit that is later) is going to make that harder. I hope it won’t be a bloodbath. But I don’t trust that it won’t be.

Which, finally, at long last, brings us to 2024. There are already rumors swimming around that Trump might run again, but at this point, I can’t see him as a threat in four years. He’ll be 78, and he’s already the oldest person to have been inaugurated President. But what is a threat is the GOP. They’ve already shown that they’re willing to embrace fascism, and unwilling to break ranks to disown it. An intelligent operator (a thing I promise the GOP has) would be able to see an easy path to picking someone like Trump, but smarter. And, as already seen, it isn’t difficult to get seventy million people to vote for pure evil.

So what, if anything, can we do? I admit that I am not the person to answer that question right now. It has been a long, stressful, and emotionally ravaging year, and quite frankly I’m at a point where I don’t see a victory path here. What I see is a divided Senate where nothing gets done for two years, an election in two years which *might* give Dems control if the messaging of “Republicans are obstructing the functions of government” actually works for once, and then two more years of nothing happening because the centrist Dems would rather work with fascists than support the left wing, because they’re more closely aligned, a thing I don’t think people realize. And then I see 2024 bringing us a contest between Kamala Harris, poster child of the pro-cop center, and some Republican creature whose job it is to cement permanent control of this country.

I don’t see any happy endings for this.

[thelarryficrecplace]

Hey, do you have some good fake relationship au's? Thanks and All the love

Hii! Check this link out, but here’s some more for you:

Boy, you got me blinded by Anonymous:

Summary: Louis wasn’t completely sure that they were on May 22nd, he would’ve bet this was an April’s Fool joke. He couldn’t believe all these important people were seriously proposing he should appear on the cover of fucking Vogue magazine. He wasn’t alone, it seemed like Lottie was about to faint right next to him. He stared at each and every face in front of him, and they weren’t smiling, so this had to be a serious proposal. Actually, there was one face smiling - Harry’s. The fucker was smirking. Louis didn’t like him anymore.

Or the one where Louis finds himself modeling for Vogue Magazine next to hot top model Harry Styles and faking a relationship with him for the public, finding along the way more than a new way of life

Paint Me In A Million Dreams by green_feelings:

Summary: Harry’s one of Hollywood’s biggest actors, has made a name for himself in prestigious films and lives the life of a superstar. There’s just one thing missing to make it picture-perfect, but the one Harry’s in love with is completely out of reach for him. Enter Louis, one of Hollywood’s biggest actors himself, who just came out of the closet and taps new genres in the industry. When Louis sacks the role Harry auditioned for in Scorsese’s next big film, their irrational feud starts. Who could have guessed it would get even worse when for promo season, their teams decide to present them as a couple for publicity?

In short, Harry’s in love with someone and doesn’t care about dating anyone else, Louis never felt home in L.A., Liam writes love songs for someone he shouldn’t write love songs to, and Niall makes everything better with good food.

Little White Lies by xxSterre:

Summary: "I lied when I got my job.

I told them I had a kid so I could leave early ‘to pick him up from day care’, to take him to doctors appointments and occasionally miss a day 'when he’s sick’. Long story short – I’m in too deep. I didn’t think this through.

Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy aged 4 to 6 with curly hair who plays soccer, essentially he has to look like the stock photo in the frame on my desk. Also must be artistic as the macaroni noodle drawings I made seem a little advanced for someone his age. He also needs to respond to 'my Little Picasso’ as that’s what my spouse and I call him. Also I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of my spouse when dropping him off. His name is James, he’s named after his grandpa and he’s a defense attorney who often brings his work home.

You know what, just message me for the details, serious inquiries only. H.“

Or, the AU based off of that one Craigslist post - how a little white lie takes on an enormous snowball effect, that might accidentally include a Tomlinson too.

fake it 'til you make it by tempolarriefics:

Summary: “So.” Louis clears his throat, trying to prompt the curly haired boy into speaking.

“You want me to what?” The boy asks incredulously, speaking slowly in a way that emphasizes the absurdity of what Louis has just asked.

Louis clears his throat, hoping he doesn’t look as completely mortified as he feels. He shrugs nonchalantly before squeaking out, “To go to the Yule ball with me, to make my ex-boyfriend jealous?”

or, the one where Harry and Louis are seventh years at Hogwarts and while trying to make Liam jealous, fall in love along the way.

come on jump out at me by yoursongonmyheart:

Summary: “you know, i offered for you to fake out me, but, i don’t know anything about you other than you being my biggest celebrity crush probably since posh spice.”

louis almost chokes on his chicken, “jesus christ,” he sputters.

harry takes a swig of his beer with a smirk. “i was very disappointed when you didn’t say i was your celebrity crush after you came out.”

louis almost cries. “you know i did plan on it. then i ran into you narrating taking a piss and talking about my ass and i thought ‘wow this kid does talk some shit’ and decided against it.”

harry barks out a laugh, his ears tinged red. he takes a bite of his pizza. “i suppose i do have no filter while high.”

louis rolls his eyes, “bit of an understatement, mate.”

harry giggles, “whatever pal,” louis screams internally.

Or, the one where actor louis tomlinson and one direction superstar harry styles try to fake a sex tape to help harry get out of the closet and they both get more than they bargained for.

California Sold by isthatyoularry:

Summary: Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

Always Come Back To You by whoknows:

Summary: “I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

(your heartbeat) rang true inside my bones by flimsy:

Summary: Harry goes as Louis’ date for a weekend wedding. He ends up taking the role a bit too seriously.

“Hey,” Harry hears himself say just as Louis climbs back into the car. He ducks down, holding onto the roof to look at Louis who cocks his brow at him and says, “What?”

“I meant it,” Harry starts. “Like, I’d do it. I’d be your date for the wedding. If it’d make you feel less awful about being there and if you want me to, I’ll do it. I promise I’ll be good.”

Chestnuts Roasting… And All That by elsi_bee:

Summary: Louis is apparently the only person at his new job who is single as can be. It’s not a big deal to just tell his new colleagues that he has a boyfriend, right? Until he has to make this imaginary boyfriend magically appear at the office holiday party. Cue fake relationship antics with a certain someone who is more than willing to play along.

All The Attention, All These Intentions by sweetlullabies:

Summary: Harry could barely breathe at even the possibility of getting to be Louis Tomlinson’s fake boyfriend. Louis was his favorite actor since childhood, when Louis was also a child on the big screen. The guy he had always looked up to. The guy whose poster he used to kiss every night before bed. The guy whose movies Harry would watch all night until his eyes couldn’t possibly stay open anymore. Harry was pretty sure Louis Tomlinson wasn’t even real—he couldn’t be.

or the fake relationship au where Harry is an aspiring musician and also Louis’ biggest fan–until he actually meets him.

[paintmyreality]

Dear Writers: The Reasons Why You’re Not Getting Feedback

"But I'm more than a little uncomfortable with writers who don't just ask for feedback, but who more or less demand it, even making threats that they'll stop writing altogether unless they get more positive comments. I don't react well to emotional blackmail from people I actually know, and it really bothers me when someone I only know as a screen name tries to manipulate me into saying something nice."

—Tell me again how much you love me by The Divine Adoratrice 

 "I tend not to send helpful feedback to people because I don't particularly want to be accused of flaming. It's a damn shame, because so many people out there do want honest, helpful, critical feedback, so that they know if they're walking around with broccoli stuck in their teeth or not. I think it really sucks that people who can't stand the heat are not only staying in the kitchen, they're insisting that everyone else turn off the ovens for them." 

 —This was good, but I thought it could ise some work... by Arduinna 

"I guess it all boils down to why you write. Do you write for enjoyment, or do you write to be read? There's nothing wrong with writing to be read, but you can't force people to read it, and you definitely can't force people to send you nice comments. The harder you try, the more of an annoyance you become."

"So to everyone who begs for feedback, please stop making a scene. And please stop threatening to abandon the story if you don't receive feedback. The next time I read a message from someone saying "If I don't get feedback, I won't continue this story," I'm going to reply "Then don't." Something you can abandon that easily isn't something I'm willing to spend my time reading anyway.”

“We are not here to feed your ego."

—Begging for feedback by Jane

“Just like writer’s aren’t there solely for the readers’ entertainment, readers aren’t there solely for giving you words of encouragement

It’s okay to ask for feedback or remind readers to leave you feedback 

But don’t try to make them feel guilty about it if they don’t.

I know that feedback is incredibly important to us and helping us become better writers, but leaving feedback is the reader’s choice”

—Reply by villagecrazypeggy

"Your story sucks and they hated it. For some reason, you didn't reach the reader. Too obscure, too lyrical, too sparse, bad plot, crappy characterization, poor grammar, pedantic prose. Whatever. Well, it's possible, isn't it?"

"Because they don't like you. You personally. They think you suck. Not as a writer, but as a human being. They are incapable of separating personalities from the fiction those personalities produce. Just as many writers don't choose or have any desire to separate themselves from their work."

"They hate those stupid blackmail schemes: "If you want more fic, send me feedback!" or "If I don't hear from people, I guess I won't bother going on." If folks wouldn't take that crap from a writer like Stephen King, what in the world makes any fan fiction writer think people will cave in to this manipulation? Oh, wait. Must be because so many readers do."

"They're annoyed by those "Only send me positive feedback!" demands. Dictating what kind of feedback you're willing to accept decreases your chances of actually getting any at all."

"They're afraid to tell you what they really think of your story, in case you're one of those morons who thinks feedback is only about ego stroking and can't tell a flame from constructive crit. In other words: they'd like to write you some feedback or constructive criticism, but after debating it with themselves, they'll probably decide it's so not worth it."

"They wrote you once before, and you either didn't bother to respond or you were a bitch to them when you did. Either way, now they're done with you."

"Because they don't see your story as a gift to them, and they bristle at the notion they are somehow obligated to thank you in return. In fact? They probably think their feedback to you is the gift. And who's to say they are wrong? Not me."

—24 Reasons Readers Don't Send Feedback by Destina

It is incumbent on you, as an author, to grin and bear it gracefully. Don’t respond to your bad reviews. Don’t justify yourself. Find a close friend and vent if you need to, but in public, thank everybody and move on to your next story. You took the good stuff that came from publishing your story; cope with the bad stuff. Maybe fix your spelling by finding a line editor? Some critique is helpful! But if the commentator didn’t like your ships and complained about the things your story set out to do, ignore them and keep on shipping.

—Reply by antennapedia

“It seemed like some of the same entitled rhetoric I’ve seen from “writers” here on Tumblr. You know the ones. They’re the ones that feel that writers don’t owe their readers anything, they’re doing us a favor. Even going so far as to dictate how readers are to leave only positive comments, and essentially bow down to their charity and reassure them that they each have flowers blooming out of their asses simply because they’re writing fanfiction.”

If readers have to tip toe around your emotional state as a writer, I hope to God you never experience what an actual publishing house will do to you. Because if you’re going to eat up the praise with a spoon, you’re going to also have to learn to buck up and take the criticism as well. Otherwise, you’ll never be as good as you potentially could be.”

“Like it or not, these are the people that will either cultivate your art, and you as an artist, or rip you to shreds and make you question if you’re cut out for this.“

—Let’s Talk Fanfiction: Writers vs Readers by stilettoroyalty

Look, I know it’s frustrating to work hard on a piece and get one or two comments when you were hoping for more. It’s frustrating to think that no one is enjoying your work because they’re not telling you. But here’s the thing: odd as it may sound, your readers are not your bitches (to paraphrase Neil Gaiman). They are not obligated to give you ANYTHING. By demanding that they do, you’re coming across as a narcissistic writer whose fragile ego needs to be constantly boosted at any cost.

How to Make People Not Want to Read Your Fics by forficwritersbyficwriters

“You asked why people don’t post, even if it’s to say, “this isn’t my cup of tea but thanks.” As a reader, I personally don’t like to post the equivalent of “I don’t like this and won’t be reading it anymore, but good luck” because I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve seen writers eviscerate readers on tumblr for doing just that. I hear a constant refrain of: 

“Don’t like it, don’t read it.”

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t anything at all.”

“You don’t like it? Leave. I’m not writing for you.”

You’re upset in this post because you feel that readers are withholding support/reviews because they don’t like something you’ve written…. at the same time writers all over tumblr are all saying that they don’t want to hear anything that could even be remotely construed as negative to the writer and that it’s better to not say anything at all if you don’t like what you’ve read.“

— Reply by ellesjourney

 "Fandom is NOT a group therapy session, okay? We don't all love each other; hell, many of us don't even like each other. I'm not going to pat you on your little head and stick a gold star on your forehead for being such a brave girl and posting a story. I expect people to be aware that it takes more than just showing up to get applauded." 

 "I can understand why people want praise -- it's a very glowy-making thing, praise is, and I like it just as much as anyone else, and I've saved every compliment anyone's ever sent me on my writing -- but why on earth do people think they deserve it just for finding their keyboards?" 

 —What does "LOC" mean anyway? by Arduinna 

 ""Oh, nobody ever comments on my work! Pity me! You don't like me! Boohoo!" I personally have no idea why anyone would want a "nice story" which was extorted from the poster by this sort of emotional blackmail, but it's apparently just what floats some people's boats. There's always someone nice enough, or tolerant enough, or just new enough to fanfiction mailing lists to respond to this with a "nice story." It's really just a waste of time. The person giving you the guilt trip doesn't care what you say in your comment, or how much of your life you wasted typing it just so you could make them feel better. It's not enough to satisfy them, and it won't ever be enough, because they know deep down they extorted it out of you." 

 —Hey sailor, got some comments? by Martha Wilson 

"You can't take criticism. I once pointed out a missing word to an author, very nicely, under my regular slash writing identity. She said it was her story and she could do what she wanted with it, and basically that I was interrupting her creative process, and who did I think I was. I was just a fresh set of eyes that spotted a typo, not someone who was interrupting Rembrandt. Anne Rice insists on her books being published unedited, when almost every other successful author makes no such demand. What makes her so special? The same thing that makes you so special. A big fat ego."

"You have an FAQ on your web site. What are you, Microsoft? Please, please tell me what I need to know that's so important that it requires a list of frequently asked questions."

—Check your head by Jane 

 "A writer's words are no more sanctified because they're in story format than anyone else's words are. You don't have to have some kind of training and be paid, in order to say something critical about a story, all you have to is read the thing and have a opinion. Because the reader's words matter, too."

"I also do not believe in coddling the poor ickle writers and enabling "OMG my feelings are hurt, I'm never writing again!" behavior. Rather than cocooning people in cotton wool, how about we teach them healthy reactions to criticism and mockery?"

—oh goody. round 3.45 billion of "the writer is god and every word is sacred by Mary the Fan 

“The ‘if you don’t like it don’t look’ mentality can be harmful, even dangerous, because it’s giving writers leeway to normalize things that should be treated with care. We have a right to speak about whatever we want, to post whatever we like, but that does not give us the right to be rude or to mistreat someone with a different opinion.

We cannot normalize the fact that we should never get criticized, or that readers should never express their opinions if they’re not the same as ours. It’s not healthy and it’s only perpetuating a distorted image of the writing community. “

—Reply by inktae

"You are not guaranteed success, in fandom or in profic writing. You can do literally everything “right.” You can write the popular fandoms and pairings and tropes. You can type until your fingers hurt. You can put up fic after fic on AO3 and become a damn good writer and still never achieve even modest success."

"You’ll pour your heart and soul into a story only to watch it sink like a stone. You’ll write the best damn fic you can write and then watch someone else’s fic, that does ALL THE SAME THINGS, get recced everywhere while people ignore yours. You’ll read a fic that is absolutely perfect, that makes your heart sing, and the only comment on it will be yours. There is no “if” about this, only “when.” This is not your readers’ fault. This is not your fault. And blaming your readers for being inadequately appreciative will not make you more successful."

 —Let's Hear It For The Lurkers by laylainalaska

"You've given it (your story) to someone else. What that story means to you cannot possibly mean the same thing to the person you've given it to. That person has their own history, opinions, and viewpoints, and interprets literature their own way, and no two people do it exactly the same. You don't get to hand it to them and say, "Wanna read this -- but you can't have an opinion on it." That's nuts. It's a story. People think about stories. Stories affect people. THAT IS WHY MOST OF US WRITE THEM -- TO AFFECT OTHERS. You don't get to say -- This story can only have THIS KIND of an affect on you. The reader can't control the effect it will have on them, how can you assume to? To likewise say, "You can read this but I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK UNLESS IT'S POSITIVE," denies the reader the right of expression, something the writer hasn't been denied in producing the story!"

"I recently had a person subbing into VP who expressed great concerns about how she had "learned" what was "appropriate to say" and what wasn't. And she hadn't spent a minute on VP where we say pretty much anything we want! The net is about free expression and writing is all about free expression. Story writers don't get an exclusive on this. "

—Convoluted Writing Thoughts by Flamingo