#I just b writing things at 3 am when I can’t sleep!!!!!!!!

[imaniwriting]

Season 2 rafe when he has to leave his love reader to go live somewhere else because if wards 'death' and so he calls insomnia!reader at night and talks with her ti make her go to sleep and the pouges listen in on there conversation because they were accidentally hiding in his room?? Sorry if it doesn't make sense 😭

(Some requests got deleted and i don't remember them well enough to still write the imagine)

𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 (requests are open)

Warnings : swearing

Summary : when rafe left, you realized that it wasn’t the pills that cured your insomnia it was rafe

Genre : fluff

Ever since rafe left you could not sleep. It wasn’t that you weren’t tired, no rather the opposite every part of your body begged for rest but your brain didn’t grant those wishes.

Only now had you realized that Rafe was the reason you slept so good. The way his arms were wrapped around you or the way you were close enough to hear his heart beat was the reason you could sleep.

But now all these things were gone, his scent, his kisses, his hugs maybe never coming back. You hit your head against the pillow hoping that maybe something in your head would move and you would fall asleep. But it didn’t and you were left to stare at the ceiling.

Then your phone started ringing making you flinch since it was so quiet only the sound of the waves hitting shore. “Fucking hell” you groaned sitting up in your queen sized bed.

You picked up your phone and put on your glasses the one you only used when it was night since you didn't like the way you looked with them.

You picked up the call with a smile after seeing the callers id and not long after Rafe’s face popped up on the screen “hi” you breathed out after seeing him smile at you through the screen.

“You have your glasses on!” He exclaimed laughing when you just stared at him he apologized and stared at you through the screen. “God i fucking miss you already.” He admitted he would never do so in front of anybody else but you were different.

“He’s whipped” whispered JJ from his place in the walk in closet the pouges all were stuffed into when they saw rafe entering the room. Sarah nodded she knew her brother he would never in a thousand years admit affection for someone.

“So what are you doing Mr. Cameron why are you still awake? You asked curiously while laying back down on her bed. Rafe shook his head “im awake because i know you can’t sleep and that you most likely wont until i help you to” he explained getting comfortable on his bed.

“Well i would love to tell you, you are wrong but sadly you aren’t.” You replied sighing. ”didn't know y/n needed help sleeping” john b piped up leaning his head against the wall. Even though he was nervous about the whole being in Rafe Cameron’s closet thing he found it quite amusing.

“Did you at least try and take your pill’s?” He asked softly seeing the tired look on her face. “You just want me to fucking tell you that I can’t sleep without you do you Rafe?”

“Maybe” he said smiling slightly you were the only person that could read him. You let out a yawn which made Rafe smile harder he knew that this was the first stage now he only had to tell you random stories about his life before you and you’ll sleep.

”dude this is actually impressive” whispered Pope making JJ frown at him “what the fact that she starts getting tired?” He asked making pope shake his head “well not exactly that but it takes a lot to make a insomniac sleepy by just talking to them” he explained

“Baby, how was your day?” You asked running your hand through your hair. And with that Rafe started talking about how he missed you and how his day looked like without you. At the end you were fast asleep and the pouges were also trying not to fall asleep. It was after all almost 3 am.

“Good night baby i have to take care of something” rafe whispered hanging up and then he stood up walking over to the walk in closet already knowing what was waiting on him on the other side.

[smilesatdawnmain]

I bet you have so much to do with all your great au's and the fanfics and arts you make for them (they are always awesome by the way), but I was wondering if you are planing on writing the Untaken au sometimes in the future or if its going to be a fun idea but there is nothing big planned.

I hope you are happy and healthy. Take your breaks and have a nice day!

I am planning to, yes!! :D I’ve already started too. I just don’t know when I’ll post any fanfic stuff about it. I have written many many things for it however :3 hehe

And I’m happy to share a scene from it

——

Note: since MK was never taken in the UnTaken Au, he would go back to being Xiaotian. (Nickname still being MK)

Taken Xiaotian however, would instead be named Xiaohua. (Nickname still being Xiaoxiao)

It was pitch dark out when Wukong’s eyes popped open, the sound of the door creaking open drawing him awake. Keeping still, he frowned at the ceiling. Mihou was still sound asleep beside him, pressing tightly to Wukong’s side with the King’s arm firmly around his waist. Keeping his mate secure, Wukong listened to shuffling, moving through the room slowly. He couldn’t see them, so they must have been smaller than the bed.

Positive it was one of his children, just not sure which one yet, he waited. He heard the laundry hamper being flipped, pushed against the bed so the child could use it as a stepping stool to make his way up onto the bed. Moving through the fluffy blankets they crawled. Their breath was heavy through their little nose, unaware they were being watched.

Wukong peeked down by his feet when he felt a little hand grab his foot above the covers. He could smell the child now as cinnamon overtook his senses; MK.

His smiles, reaching down to brush his fingers to the toddler's head. MK was startled, jumping a little when he realised his Dada was awake. Immediately MK was nuzzling against his Father’s hands, his wet cheeks evident against his palm.

Wukong’s thumb brushed to MK’s cheek in the dark, his voice soft. “What’s wrong, bud?”

“B-Bad dream.” the child whimpered

“Oh,” Wukong frowned. He patted his chest to draw MK closer to lay against him, “We can’t have that now. C’mere.” MK was quick to scamper up to his chest and nuzzle against his fur. Wet eyelashes closed, cooing.

Wukong rubbed his boy’s back, soothing his little one. He kissed the top of his head, lifting the blanket to cover them both. “Such a brave Monkey Kid.” he murmured. It didn’t take long for MK’s breathing to slow, his little chest rising up and down as he slipped into sleep. Wukong smiled, drifting back into sleep himself.

A few hours later Xiaohua was kicking down the door, a bundle of beheaded fluff. “Xiaotian is missing!” he screeched. He paused when MK’s head snapped upward from his Father’s chest, fur messy and eyes wide. Xiaohua’s mouth fell open in absolute SHOCK!

“Good morning, Xiaoxiao.” Wukong purred. Next to him, Mihou’s head was lifting drowsily, eyes inconsistently blinking.

“Huh…?” he grumbled

“Sleep over?!” Xiaohua demanded. He patted his little chest, clearly left out of such a fun event. “Without Xiaoxiao?!”

Mihou blinked, too tired to really form any words, and just buried his face back into Wukong’s shoulder. He tugged on Wukong’s tail with his own for his mate to deal with this situation.

“Gee thanks.” Wukong frowned at him. He gestured for Xiaohua to calm down, “It’s okay buddy, MK just had a bad dream so he came here. You can come join us right now?” he offered, patting beside him.

He could see the top of Xiaohua’s little head at the end of the bed, heatedly walking back and forth. Grumbling and on the verge of a tantrum. “Xiaoxiao is peeved! Peeved I tell you!” The child declared.

MK and Wukong glance at each other, sinking a bit further into the mattress to try and flatten themselves, hoping if they disappeared maybe they could avoid the wrath of the jealous Xiaohua.

[eloquent-edits]

Hello!!!!

I'm writing a rivals to lovers office AU and am in need of some inspiration. Can you please do a list of office AU prompts? I don't mind if they get suggestive.

Absolutely! (Also thank you for being the first person to request prompts :3)

Character A and character B have issues with their work computers at the same time, and the poor IT guy has to deal with their bickering while fixing the computers

The printer is constantly breaking and A can’t help but snidely remark on B’s struggle every time it happens

B critiques A’s work whenever they get the chance, claiming A needs to do better if they want to get up to B’s level (the criticism is actually kind of helpful, just poorly worded)

B’s desk is across from A’s, leading to stare-downs when the other seems to be slacking on work and eyebrow raises when personal calls are taken

A leaves anonymous sticky notes on B’s desk about office drama, rumors, and random news stories to see what sort of conversations B likes (B usually looks at these with confusion, throwing them away buT THEY KEEP SHOWING UP WHY)

In the company project group chat, A and B don’t acknowledge each other outside of emoji reactions unless it is necessary

They are forced to work together on a major project with much longer hours than they expected, leading to sleep deprived A actually being nice to B in the mornings (they share a quiet moment at the coffee machine)

B’s ex comes into the office as another company’s assistant, and A can’t help but be concerned at the grimace and pain in B’s eyes

A starts using the printer incidents to ask about B’s history and get to know them better

A celebration at work includes a happy hour, so B dresses up just a little more than usual and A cannot stop staring

B notices A is lingering around their desk more and teases them about wanting to take their spot (A definitely wants to take them in a fight right?)

A’s car won’t start in the parking lot, so B offers to jump it… it’s the first time seeing B less professional (let’s get those sleeves rolled up and a couple buttons loosened from the button-down)

The AC breaks while only a couple people are in office, meaning it’s up to A and B to try and fix it while waiting on maintenance, leading to B on a ladder and A most definitely trying to not stare at their butt

C, an older friend at the office, retires and throws a massive party where A and B get a little too drunk, and B accidentally compliments A instead of criticizing them (A doesn’t know how to process it and B refuses to acknowledge this ever happened)

After A openly disagrees with one of B’s ideas, B confronts them privately, getting a little too close as A is stubborn and standing firm (give me that tension you can cut with a knife, give me that turn away because otherwise one of them will do something they regret)

B finds A asleep at their desk one morning and can’t decide whether to wake them up for the meeting or to let them sleep longer because this is definitely not normal for A

Turns out A worked their ass off to get a major promotion, one that B was eyeing for a while, which makes B jealous and get a little snappy

A is shifted to another area of the office and an annoying coworker, C, takes over the old spot. B finds the change welcoming and unsettling (“They’re not here to bother me anymore…” “That’s a good thing!” “… Yes. I suppose you’re right.”)

B is called into A’s office to discuss another coworkers’ weird behavior, which gives A the opportunity to call B out on their behavior around A

“It’s like on day one of me working here, you put a note in your calendar that said to torment me whenever you could.”

“You’ve gone from criticizing everything I do to actually being somewhat nice and helpful and then right back to being an absolute prick! I don’t understand it at all. What changed? You still seem to hate me, so why be so kind? Why?”

B doesn’t respond with words, just by slowly reaching out to touch A’s hand and swiftly pulling them into a kiss (ideally B would explain more later but that’s up to you hehe)

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Rational Fear

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~800

Warnings: fear of needles, fear of getting blood drawn, fluff at the end

Request by @sylvanianlucy: could you write somethign about the reader being afraid of needles. i'm REALLY scared of them and still cry when i get shots no matter how old I am. Thank you!

Summary: you are deathly afraid of needles and you have an appointment to get your blood drawn coming up. How will you ever be okay with going?

Square Filled: grabbed by the chin for @badthingshappenbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Today is not your best day. Things started going wrong the second you woke up. You slept through your phone alarms, there was no hot water for your shower, your coffee machine exploded on you which caused you to go change, and the bus was late to pick you up. You don’t own a car since you live so close to work that you can take the bus.

All of this is the reason why you have been chewing on your nails since the moment you got onto the bus, and why your hair is a tangled mess from you pulling on it. Not to mention you didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, so your eyes are a bit red.

You keep your head down when you walk into the bullpen. The B Team is in the air today, so you have a day of catching up on paperwork. If you’re lucky, you don’t have to talk to anyone. Everyone is in the break room getting their daily dose of caffeine so you quickly hide at your desk and pretend to be super busy so they won’t bother you.

When you log into your computer, a calendar notification pops up on the top right of the screen. When you read it, your blood instantly turns to ice. A chill runs down your spine as fear seeps into your skin. Just breathe, Y/N. You’re going to be okay. In… Out… You can’t seem to tear your eyes away from the notification so you wait until it disappears. It’s gone but the fear is still there.

There’s nothing to be scared of. No one dies from having their blood taken. A medical professional is going to be there the entire time. They know what they’re doing. They do it every day to millions of people. You’re being irrational. Then why are your palms sweaty, your heart racing, and your entire body shivering? Even the thought of being anywhere near needles makes your blood run cold. You hate needles. You hate what they look like. You hate the thought of one. You hate one making contact with your skin.

Even as a child, needles scared the shit out of you. You’d watch horror movies that involve them which would scare the shit out of you. People in those movies would always misuse them for nefarious purposes, and your little brain thought that’s what people actually did in real life. Nothing traumatic happened to you involving needles but something doesn’t have to be traumatic for you to fear it.

This is one of those times.

Emily walks in with two coffees in her hand; one for you and one for her. It doesn’t matter if you’ve made one for yourself in the break room because she always has the better kind. She sees you at your desk and hops over with a smile on her face.

“I have a present for you,” she sings. When you don’t turn to face her, her smile is lost. She sets both coffees on her desk and looks at you to see just how much of a mess you are. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” All you can do is shake your head. “Would you like to go somewhere more private?” You nod. “Come on.”

She takes your hand and notices how clammy it is. You’re nervous about something and she is going to be there for whatever it is. She takes you to an empty office and closes the door to ensure privacy. If this were anyone else, you wouldn’t think about spilling but this is Emily. You have a massive crush on her and she is your biggest supporter in everything you do.

“I have an appointment today after work,” you whisper and look down. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?” she asks kindly.

“I have to get my blood drawn. I’m terrified of needles. I don’t know why I am. All I know is that I even think about them and my whole body freezes. I know it’s childish,” you sigh.

Emily gently grabs your chin and lifts it so you’re looking up at her.

“No fear is childish. If it scares you, then it’s real. It’s okay to be scared of needles. It’s not an uncommon fear.”

“But I don’t have a legitimate reason to be scared of them. I wasn’t traumatized or anything. I’m just scared of them.”

“That doesn’t matter. A fear is a fear and it’s valid because it affects you.”

“I don’t want to go to the doctor’s alone.”

“Who says you have to be alone?” she grins and sits next to you.

“You’d come with me?”

“I’d go with you to the end of the world if you asked me to. I’m going to be right there next to you,” she grabs your hand, “holding your hand.”

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“Anything for you. I mean it,” she smiles back.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[bratzforchris]

would love if you could writing a calum fluff! anything you have in mind

Five More Minutes

❃

Summary: You hate mornings, but being with Calum makes them a tiny bit better

Pairing: Calum x gender neutral reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 431

A/N: This was originally a slash fic I took from my own AO3 account (@sgfgsun). It is under the same title<3

❃

Calum opened his eyes when he felt your bony elbow dig into his ribcage. He chuckled as he saw you sprawled out, hogging most of the blankets, limbs taking up nearly all of the bed. Your face was smashed into a pillow, all your hair puffy and fanned out, and Calum was pretty sure that was a string of drool hanging from your plump, pink lips. 

The dark-haired boy tried to gently push your foot that was currently digging into his stomach off, only for you to sleepily  grab his wrist.

“Mmmm stop…” You whined, your scratchy morning voice on display. “I need my beauty sleep.”

“You’re kicking me in the stomach with your feet,” Calum huffed. "How am I supposed to get my beauty sleep when I'm being kicked?" 

He really couldn’t even pretend to be mad though. He loved the way you always used the “beauty sleep” excuse. You’d been doing it since you two had started spending the night together as a couple last year, and he still thought it was one of the cutest things about you. 

“I can’t help it. I just naturally sleep this way.” You mumbled, face smushed into the pillow still. 

“If you a) stop kicking me and b) get up, I’ll go on a coffee run.” Cal bargained, knowing just how much you loved vanilla lattes and blueberry muffins from the café down the street.

“Five more minutes,” You groaned. “It’s early.”

“It’s ten-thirty. That’s literally not early.” Running a tattooed hand along your back, Calum kissed your hair, carding his fingers through the strands. 

“I will cut you.” You huffed, knowing his ‘manipulation’ tactics were working. 

“You wouldn’t dream of it.” Calum laughed evilly and started tickling you.

“Stop! I’m up! I’m up!” You wiggled and squirmed. 

Calum’s heart swelled at the sound of your bright laugh. Not to be dramatic or anything, but he was pretty sure that laugh was the reason he woke up every morning. “That’s what I thought.”

“You know what tickling means.” You fluttered your eyelashes innocently. 

“And what’s that?” he asked, raising a brow. 

“You gotta pay the kisses tax.” You smiled. 

“Says who?” Cal fake rolled his eyes, knowing it would get a reaction out of you.

“Me!” You cheered gleefully, wrapping your arms around Calum's shoulders and peppering his cheeks with kisses. 

“Ugh fine. Only cause you’re cute.” Calum smiled, straddling you and peppering your face with kisses. 

“Also, about that latte…” You mumbled into the kiss with a smile.

“Lattes are only for people who get up on the first try.”

“WHAT?”

[brooooswriting]

Prompt list

My first prompt list and I’m honestly not quite sure how this works. But send me a prompt and a character (you can find the characters I write for in my guidelines) :) I’m happy about request and recommendations

1. “I’m not stupid, who is s/he?

2. “I’m not flirting with anyone”

3. A: “We have a problem”

B: “no, you got a problem. I got you”

4. “If I could, I would kiss all your scars away”

5. “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this”

6. “I don’t want to think about what life would be like without you”

7. “Do you want to stay tonight?”

8. “I killed him and I’d gladly kill him again”

9. “Don’t panic, but I think there’s someone in our house”

10. “How bad is it?”

11. “Cmon, I’ll carry you”

12. “I can’t get up”

13. “I threw up”

14. “You’re burning love”

15. “I can protect myself”

16. “Don’t touch me! GET OFF”

17. “You look beautiful”

18. “You left me. I stayed, I waited”

19. “You have the most amazing eyes”

20. “How’d you this scar?”

21. “We have time”

22. “You can still use your legs, so don’t say that I was jealous again”

23. “If even one of them touches you again, I’ll make sure they aren’t able to ever again”

24. “I’m overreacting?”

25. “Don’t cover my bite marks, or I might just have to add more”

26. “Wow, you really thought you could trust me?”

27. “You belong to me”

28. “I dare you”

29. “You can’t restart life once you make a mistake”

30. “You should be with someone who values you”

31. “I do not like (x), I like you you idiot”

32. “(X) doesn’t understand what they’re missing”

33. “If I was your girlfriend, I’d …”

34. “Can you picture me and you together?”

35. “My grandma thinks we are dating”

36. “Can’t sleep again”

37. “It’s past midnight, why are you still up?”

38. “Let’s get you some sleeping pills”

39. “She’s not your property”

40. “There is us, there never was”

41. “Keep lying and I’m out”

42. “Is this all I was to you?”

43. “You thought this was real?”

44. “All they ever did was take advantage of you. Why can’t you see that?”

45. “Tell me a story”

46. “It’s time to move on”

47. “I’m gonna take a shower, you should join me. You know, save water”

48. “Calm down! You’re scaring me”

49. “I’m done trying to fix you”

50. “I see your face everywhere… don’t you understand that?”

51. “I wasn’t enough for you, you made that clear”

52. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake to. Go back to sleep my love”

53. “Can I borrow your hoodie?”

54. “It kills me to imagine you with somebody else”

55. “You don’t own me”

56. “Can you come and get me?”

57. “You’re freezing, let’s go inside. I don’t want you to catch a cold”

58. “I don’t want you to be disappointed”

59. “It’s cute, this thing you’re doing”

60. “You should eat something”

61. “Who did this to you?!”

62. “You look like you need a hug”

63. “I love you, but you need to shut up”

64. “They’re coming. Kiss me”

65. “I’m flirting with you”

66. “I’m just so tired all the time”

67. “Would you like to take a nap with me?”

68. “Can I braid your hair?”

69. “You’re not your past”

70. “That’s not what I meant and you know it”

71. “You can cry, there’s no shame in it”

72. “You don’t do that with me”

73. “You’re not making sense dear”

74. “You feel like home”

75. “Is s/he really just a friend?”

76. “I promise I am trying”

77. “I can fix it, I will fix it”

78. “I can’t breathe around you”

79. “Don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I want”

80. “If you were any less threatening, you’d be a dandelion”

81. “I just adore you”

82. “Did I do good?”

83. “Let’s run away then”

84. “You shouldn’t trust me”

85. “What if you get hurt?”

86. “I like to do it for the plot”

87. “You are ticklish, that’s so cute”

88. “Can you warm me? I’m freezing”

89. “If you steel the blanket I’m gonna put my cold feed on you”

90. “This is low, even for you”

91. “I promise it didn’t mean anything”

92. “How much cold medicine did you take?”

93. “Get behind me”

94. “Touch her one more time and I’m gonna kill you”

95. “I want a family… with you”

96. “You’re more than a one night stand”

97. “Say that one more time and I’ll whoop your ass”

98. “My family likes you more than they like me”

99. “Every day feels like a burden”

100. “I may be a hero but I’d end the world for you”

[icystorm76]

Lauren’s commentary

I’m forcing my sister to watch IWTV and her commentary is genuinely hilarious. She accused me of posting her comments somewhere, then gave me permission to do exactly that. So here you go, her comments on episode 3. (She’s never read the books)

About Raglan James

“Is he a vampire? Is he Vampire ex boyfriend?(When asked why she thinks that) “He seems the type, you know? Like he would judge them then sleep with them.” (I reiterate that she’s never read the books, I guess Daniel just radiates vampire fucker vibes. She just guessed the completely wrong guy)

“Why is he trying to be on the phone? Is he actually one the phone? What is he doing? Oh shit, I missed something, rewind”

“Are you posting my commentary somewhere?” (I am now, lol)

“Hehehe, raglan”

“I can’t see what he’s writing! Milf? Is that what he wrote?”

In the library with Armand

“OH MY GOD HES FLOATING”

“Do you think he has nudes on that computer?”

“I know they���re vampires but does their architecture have to be so brutalist?”

“His bone structure is snatched. I hate his eyes though”

“Of course YOU do” (In response to me saying I like the eyes)

Paris (Armand’s narration)

“OH MY GOD, did he turn Lestat”

“So he’s into bondage?”

“There are laws?!”

“So he has fire powers”

“Hehe, you’re ugly and I hate you, fuck off and die abuser” (she’s not a big fan of Lestat)

“Boo, tomato tomato tomato!”

“The only thing I like about Lestat is his voice”

“Are all vampires gay?”

“Hehehe, the way he’s standing there.”

*Awful French accent* “LeSTOT!”

“Ah, so the abused becomes the abuser. You’re perpetuating bad stereotypes there”

“Oh god Lestat, I hate you. Where Louis?”

“Armand and Lestat, sitting in at tree A-b-u-s-i-n-g. First comes hitting, then comes throwing, then comes dropping Louis out of the sky!”

“Yep, still hate him”

“Oh he cray cray”

“You know what? I hate both these people and they deserve each other”

“Oh my god Lestat you messy bitch”

“Diabolical!!!”

“Ewww, get a room”

Paris (with Louis and Armand)

“Hell yeah, welcome back Pookie”

“I fucking hate him. How do you like these people?”

“How have they now been hatecrimed yet? Like come on guys! I’ve lost faith in Paris’s homophobia” (My sister is a lesbian btw)

“He can read your thoughts Buddy”

(When Lestat starts singing) “AH AH AH PAUSE IT *full body contortions as off possessed by Saten* I didn’t think it was possible to have a physical reaction to an Ick. Oh my god I had a full body reaction to that. I feel violated. I feel really and truly violated.”

“LeTHOT”

“OH MY GOD IM CHOKING. WHAT IS THAT ANGLE”

“No, because the images of Lestat looks like those cameras that make you look like you’re walking on a really tiny world”

“Why is this episode called No Pain. All they do is give each other pain”

“Pause it, no stop, rewind. You’re at a 10, I need it to not exist. LeTHOT, what are you doing? I’m so disappointed. I mean, I knew this was a show about the awareness of Stockholm syndrome, but I didn’t know it would this bad. Every day I walk outside and I think life is great then I come back inside and you make me watch tho shit. I need you to get your lips off of him. I don’t think I can continue”

“This using, love, OH, thank you, keep going, this is better than porn” (while Louis is murdering “Lestat”)

“OH, Real Rashid, by babe!”

“There’s so many files”

“They have a curfew?!”

“You mean the one where Lestat abused you? Because it kinda seems like Armand is going to do the same”

“They got that at home goods, didnt they?”

“Oh, wow. but Daniel’s not a Vampire, so he doesn’t count”

“Uh, wellllllllllllllll”

“Side note, I love that the vampires can’t age but you can tell Louis’ getting older because he parts his hair like a balding middle aged man”

“Thought that when they kissed that it would be like that scene in despicable me 2 when their noses bumped and stopped them from kissing”

[thetriplets3]

melt - muse a holds muse b’s face gently, drawing circles into their cheeks with their thumbs

with matt its so cute

This is so cute I loved writing this please keep the requests coming <3

❊ delicate ❊

If there’s one word to describe how life has been lately it would be exhausting, in every aspect. I spend half my nights awake, restlessly tossing and turning thinking about the long list of things I need to do. I can’t seem to make the racing thoughts in my head stop.

I've isolated myself from my friends and more importantly, you. I’m trying to do a million things and keep my thoughts under control and not drag anyone down with me. Other than the odd text here and there to you we haven’t talked a lot in a week. I can’t help but feel bad. I don’t do this on purpose and you understand that, having experienced the same thing yourself. You give me space and know that I’ll come to you when I need help or when I’m ready.

Which brings me to now. Knocking on your door, I’m greeted by Nick who welcomes me in with a hug. He tells me that you and Chris have just gone to get groceries and should be back soon.

“I’ll let him find out on his own that you’re here” Nick tells me as he retreats to his room.

I send Nick a smile as I head to the comfort of your room. Simply being in your bed and the smell of your cologne is enough to make me fall asleep with ease for the first time in a while.

Matt’s POV:

Walking into my room I’m met with you sleeping peacefully in my bed. “Oh sweet girl” I coo to myself.

Taking my backpack and hoodie off and placing them on my chair, I carefully climb into bed trying to not wake you. I lie there facing you, happy that you feel safe enough to come to me when you need me. My eyes dance over your delicate features. My heart skips a beat whenever I look at you.

I love your eyes. They remind me of an endless galaxy that I never wanna leave, the way your eyes squint when you’re truly happy, how unknowingly expressive you are, the way everything about you's so perfectly suited, just for you. I can’t wrap my head around what there is that you could dislike about yourself. You’re the most beautiful person that has walked this earth and I can’t believe I get to call you my girlfriend.

Noticing you slowly start to wake up I place my hand gently on your cheek and begin softly rubbing circles into your skin. As your eyes open I can see the emotion and the toll this past week has taken on you. You don’t let this stop you from smiling back at me as your eyes flutter shut, taking in the physical contact you’ve been missing.

“You don’t know how happy I am to see you honey. Are you okay?” I whisper.

“I’m okay now that you’re here. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I don't mean to do it, it just feels easier to deal with it myself and not put it on other people” you whisper, sadness filling your voice.

“You’re not alone in this, I’m here for you, just like you are for me. Do you wanna talk about your week or do you wanna forget about it?” I ask.

“I know, thank you for being so patient with me. I wanna forget about it and just be with you right now. I’ve missed your touch” you say.

I open my arms inviting you in. You rest your head on my chest, tilting it up to look at my horse necklace as you fiddle with it. Wrapping one arm securely around you, knowing it makes you feel safe, the other makes its way back to your cheek. My thumb mindlessly draws circles on your soft skin. The warmth of my touch makes your eyelids flutter as they grow heavy, lulling you into a much needed sleep.

Even when things seem like they're falling apart, he's right there to pick up the pieces.

Taglist (msg me if you wanna be added)

@d0wnt0wnstu4n1ol0 @im-a-matt-girl @iluvmatt @antisocialties @stxrniqlo

[goddessalthena]

UsaMamo Week 2024 - Day 3/6 - Inspired by a Song/Coffee

Late again, and it's tough to say how late because this is technically two prompts in one. I was originally planning to write this as a song fic, but wasn't really feeling it leading up to the event week. Then last night I read @caelenath's awesome song fic and felt inspired to take another look at my outline.

This is not the whimsical lark that my other UsaMamo week pieces have been (which is why I was torn about writing it) but it's an idea that's been nagging at me for a while now. This is only the first part of three, but I thought it would be nice to post it for the event.

Title: Happier Summary: Mamoru wants a cup of coffee. Rating: T (for language) Words: 1722

“Thirty eight!”

Chiba Mamoru is not a melodramatic person. He is not given to histrionics. Flagrant displays of emotion are simply not his thing. Indeed, he is a calm, composed, and exceedingly rational human being. Life is stressful—his arguably more so than most—and he prides himself on his ability to ‘rise above’. But if this beanie-wearing, mouth-breathing barista doesn’t call his number in the next sixty seconds he might just lose it.

“Thirty nine!”

Mamoru stares down at his receipt and wills the numbers to change. Unsurprisingly, they remain the same. He can transform into a superhero in the blink of an eye, but he can’t change a number on a piece of paper. It may be the caffeine withdrawal talking but this seems…unfair. Unjust. Unacceptable. He is a reincarnated prince, the rightful heir to the planet beneath his very feet, and yet he cannot get a simple cup of coffee.

“Thirty seven!”

Are they counting fucking backwards now? He takes a breath and stuffs the receipt in his pocket so he can run a hand through his hair. He needs to calm down. He’s just tired. He’s had another rough night of precious little sleep and this is just a bad morning. That’s all. One bad morning. At the end of a bad week. At the end of a bad month. He just—

“Forty!”

He just really needs some coffee. It’ll be ready soon. So long as they serve him in the next—he checks his watch—four minutes he can still make it to the hospital before his shift starts. He thinks. He’s only just started at UoT and he’s still not used to the bus transfers. Getting to Keio was much simpler. He didn’t have to get up so early, and the coffee shop across the street was much faster. Not to mention better. He misses that coffee. He misses Keio. He misses sleeping. He misses…a lot of things.

“Forty one!”

Lucky number forty one strolls up to the counter to claim their prize. They walk away with a tall plastic cup full of frothy green liquid that looks like it was poured directly out of an infected nostril, and Mamoru can’t help but shudder when they take a long, noisy sip from the straw. Who comes to a coffee shop and orders…whatever that is? This is apparently a trend now—ordering non-caffeinated beverages at coffee shops—because the last ten people who have walked away from the counter have had similarly ridiculous drinks. Why does everything have to be dessert, or snot, in a cup nowadays? What’s wrong with a regular cup of coffee?

He needs to find another coffee shop.

“Forty two!”

He needs them to call his number.

He pulls out his phone to distract himself and scrolls through a list of notifications: weather, junk mail, update reminders—up to forty five now, he’s got to get around to doing that—and one text. His thumb hovers over the blue bubble for a moment or two before he eventually presses down.

Training session Fri or Sat ppl. LMK work schedules ASAP. No ghosting Chiba. Ur old ass is getting rusty. 👴

As Mamoru rolls his eyes three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen. He holds his breath.

“Forty three!”

He doesn’t look away from those three little dots, doesn’t blink, doesn’t breathe. He just watches them, transfixed, until finally—

I’ve got a shift at the restaurant Friday night, but I can do AM Sat wide open

He releases the breath he’s been holding in a quiet sigh. Just Makoto. Not— His thumb hits the back button of its own accord then scrolls down through the list of chats, until…there, near the bottom. Sandwiched between an old banking verification and a number he doesn’t even recognize. He reads the date to the right of the name and winces. Again, his thumb hovers.

“Forty four!”

He taps. A string of texts populate his screen. He doesn’t need to read them again, he knows them by heart. But he reads them anyway. Like he always does. He can’t help it. He’s weak; in these moments at least. When no one can see. He should stop looking now. Should close the window. Should delete the whole thread while he’s at it. But he won’t. He can’t. He can do a lot of things—has done a lot of things—but he can’t delete those words.

I love you, Mamo-chan.

“Forty five!”

I’ll always love you. Even if you’ve stopped loving me back.

“Forty five!”

I wish I knew why though. I wish you would tell me what I did wrong.

“Forty five! That’s four five, people. Four five!”

I’m sorry, I get it now, I won’t bother you anymore. Be happy, Mamo-chan. I want you to be happy.

“For the last time, forty five! Going once, going twice…”

Mamoru’s head snaps up. Forty five. Fuck. That’s his number.

He stuffs his phone in his pocket and rushes up to the counter and beanie-boy does not look happy. Mamoru begins to mutter an apology then stops as the barista shoves a large mug topped whipped cream, caramel, and chocolate shavings toward him. Mamoru looks from the mug to the mouth-breather and back again as his brain tries to comprehend what is happening. After an eternity of waiting they finally called his number and yet…this is not his drink.

The barista is staring at him with a bored, somewhat vacant expression and Mamoru can clearly see that he is wondering why Mamoru isn’t taking the mug and walking away. Apparently the barista can’t tell from Mamoru’s assumedly apoplectic expression that he has no intention of taking the mug. This mug is not his. It’s not what he ordered. It’s not what he wants. Apparently that’s just his life now. An endless string of miserable disappointments that he’s supposed to suffer through silently. But he’s fed up with being silent.

He wants his damn coffee, and he wants it right fu—

“Oh, hello, uh, hey, sorry, excuse me but…I think that’s mine actually.”

Mamoru blinks as a cheerful man with sandy blond hair steps up beside him. He points to the confectionery concoction on the counter and shoots Mamoru an apologetic smile before turning to the barista. “Yes, chocolate macchiato with caramel, right? I believe that’s mine and not this gentleman’s.”

Beanie boy looks from Mamoru to sandy-hair and blinks.

Sandy-hair glances at Mamoru and shoots him another overly apologetic look. “Right, umm, well, if it’s all right, I’ll just grab this and get out of your way.” Mamoru steps to the side and sandy-hair takes the mug and hurries away. Presumably to overdose on sugar.

Mamoru turns back to the barista.

Barista scratches his temple. The beanie must be itchy. Mamoru hopes it is.

“So…what was your order again?”

“Large. Black. Coffee.”

“Right. That’ll take a couple of min—” Beanie boy must have just learned to read facial expressions because his eyes widen and he takes a step back. “I’ll go get it now.”

Mamoru feels a little bit of the tension ease in his shoulders and he breathes a weary sigh. He’s being an asshole. He’s doing that more and more often now. He keeps telling himself it’s the long work hours and the lack of sleep, but he knows what the real problem is. It’s her. He misses her. But there’s nothing he can do about that so he needs to find a better way to cope than being rude to baristas. And co-workers. And neighbours in his apartment building.

The barista comes back with his to-go cup and Mamoru tries to smile and thanks him for the drink. The guy nods but appears otherwise unaffected and that’s fine. Mamoru’s not looking for a new friend, he’s just trying to be a decent human being. A tinkle of bells sounds as he reaches for his cup. A gust of air follows, and a familiar tingle between his shoulder blades compels him to turn. He follows the innate instinct before his mind can warn him against it.

The unmistakable sight of blond odangos makes his heart soar before the inevitable sensation of crushing gloom comes down hard upon his ribs. Just when he thought his morning couldn’t get any worse. He can’t handle this. Not right now. Not again. He’s not strong enough to face another awkward meeting, another painful interaction, another agonizing opportunity to break her heart. Why are they always bumping into each other? Why, in a city as big as this, can he not get through one single week without running into her? Why?

Mamoru knows why. Because they’re soul mates.

He looks around for an alternate exit, a side door, a window, anything so he can avoid being seen. Before he can consider hiding in the bathroom he realizes she’s not approaching the counter where he stands, she’s rushing over to a table. She’s out of breath, her cheeks are pink, and she’s spouting a string of apologies. He’s seen her look exactly like this countless times before, and he can’t help the smile that spreads across his face as the memories replay.

His smile disappears as a new memory implants itself in his mind.

Of Usako, rushing up to a table where a man with sandy blond hair is standing in wait. Where a man with sandy blond hair is taking her hands. Where a man with sandy blond hair is pulling her forward. Kissing her cheek. Making her blush.

“Don’t worry,” sandy-hair says, “your timing is perfect. Your drink just came out. I wasn’t sure if you wanted a muffin, a danish, or a doughnut, so I got one of each.”

Usako laughs with delight.

Usako laughs with delight.

Usako laughs with delight.

Mamoru heads for the door like the building is on fire. He doesn’t hear the barista calling after him, telling him that he’s forgotten his coffee. He doesn’t hear the tinkling of bells as he shoves through the door or the loud rush of traffic as he hits the sidewalk. All he can hear is Usako’s laughter play over and over in his head.

When was the last time he heard her laugh? When?

Mamoru doesn't know when. He can’t remember.

***

Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain’t nobody love you like I do Promise that I will not take it personal, baby If you’re moving on with someone new

***

Happy Birthday, Mamoru! Sorry bud, this is a breakup fic. What can I say? I both love and hate the breakup arc. The song that inspired this fic is Happier by Ed Sheeran.

Thanks for reading! ❤️

Be sure to follow @usamamoweek for all of this year's content!

Many thanks to our awesome hosts @random-mailbox and @lilliebellfanfics for making this possible. 😘😘

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

omg omg omg finallh someone who does monster high related smut things

ok! I just had a couple questions before I request anything! Do you write smut fics? And if so, can I request a monster high ship? Or does it HAVE to be character x reader? And if so, can the reader be topping the character?

I saw you do monster high. Does this include G3 cause I am ridiculously obsessed with G3 toralei.

Besides that, I’ll be super simple and request Toralei nsfw alphabet (preferably her in a sub role cause I legit can’t picture a world where she isn’t a secret bottom) it can be either generation. Although I do prefer G3. G1 is ok to tho!

Hii!! Okay let me answer some of these real quick!

1. I do write smut fics!

2. yes you can request a monster high ship! I don’t mind! It doesn’t have to be an X reader, it’s just usually what’s requested so right now that’s what most of my writings are.

3. Roles can be swapped whenever! If you want the reader or character topping it’s whatever the request is.

4. Yes this does include G3, though i’m not a fan of some of the character re designs i do love the character themselves

Now, here’s the NSFW alphabet!! Only F is missing because I couldn’t think of anything for it!

Navigation!! // Masterlist !!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

She’s very soft with aftercare. She likes to use it as a time to just unwind from the sex but to also just reconnect with you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Her favorite body part on herself would be her legs, she likes the stealth that comes with them, since she is a cat. She also just likes the way they look, they’re pretty strong.

Her favorite body part on you would probably be your hands. She likes close contact and she’s not the biggest fan of PDA, so holding your hand and just being near you really helps her.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

She once made a joke she’d take your cum like milk and it’s never been let go since.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

She’s into brat taming big time. She has a big ego, but nothing gets her going more than someone who shuts it down.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I feel like she’s very inexperienced, she’s closed off emotionally so I feel like she’d only really be with someone if she really liked them. Which is very few people too.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

She’s more serious, usually because she’s on the bottom, but she’s serious, unless she wants to piss you off

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

She’s pretty well groomed & clean. It’s really important to her that she stays that way too.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

If she’s feeling romantic enough she’ll cry a bit, she’ll feel overwhelmed with emotions and she just feels really loved with soft sex it’s a lot for her.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

She didnt masturbate much before you, only when she couldn’t sleep since it tires her out easily. But now after you she does it frequently. Usually before bed or in the shower.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Brat Taming + BDSM, dacryphillia, edging, degration ( name calling )

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Her room or your room, occasionally the living room. She likes privacy. She feels vulnerable during this state so she wants to be as reserved with you as possible.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Getting on your nerves, she wants you to be frustrated with her. She likes being used.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything with her tail going in anywhere.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

She doesn’t mind giving, she’s actually pretty good at it, and she has well built stamina.

She really enjoys receiving but is also way more sensitive when she’s on the receiving end.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

She likes it fast and rough, again she’s into the BDSM, edging, all of that. She likes it rough.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

She’s really vocal so a part of her hates them, but sometimes she just can’t wait to have you she makes the sacrifice.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

She’s an experimentalist. She loves trying new things with you and she won’t stop until you’ve done everything at least once.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

She’s pretty good in stamina, she can go at least four rounds before she’s completely gone.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

She does own toys, you use them on each other and have a field day experimenting.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She likes to tease, she also likes being teased.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Very vocal, you’ll have to shut her up with something to keep her quiet. She’s very whiny and breathy.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

She’ll kitten lick over hickies she’s left on you, sometimes she bites and feels bad so she tries to sooth it.

If she were to ever dom she would use her tail to tease you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Before you, not too high and it was hardly existent. But after you? She’s ready whenever you are.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

She tries staying up but she really struggles, so most times she’ll fall asleep during aftercare.

[ticklish-n-stuff]

OKAY SO ANOTHER REQ

Can be tickles or non tickles it’s up to you!!

I’m going to torment ur fav real quick ❤️

I would like to humbly order a fic of Mikey dreaming abt the events that happened in ep 10 and waking up terrified that Draken really left him (if you catch my drift)

And and and- usage of the bestest trope of character A rushing to Character B’s house to make sure they’re okay and just collapsing in their arms with a teary/sobbing “oh thank god…” whenever they answer the door

I am requesting the most immaculate comfort from Draken . 

Your local angst queen, signing off.

Ffs stop bottling up your emotions

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME by writing Mikey angst 🥲

I don't think angst is my thing but I tried 😭

I hope you likey :3

I'm gonna go bawl my eyes out after writing this

___________________________________________

Mikey x Draken (interpret as you wish)

Lee: Mikey

Ler: Draken

Warnings: Tickles! Angst! Panic attack! Cursing! Spoilers for ep 10!

___________________________________________

wake up… Wake up!

Mikey let out a strangled gasp, his body sitting upright, drenched in cold sweat. Or was it warm? His ears were ringing. Why can’t he feel his fingers or toes? Oh right, Draken… That awful nightmare where the worst came to fruition. But Draken is still with us, so why… Why is his chest so tight? Is there something blocking his airway? He can’t swallow for the life of him. Just make it stop!...

A moment of silence fell as his brain stopped spinning around. Why is he thinking about that of all things? Draken is probably snoring like a caveman at the long hours of 3:21 am… Maybe he should call and check just in case.

Over at Draken’s room, he felt his phone buzzing, causing him to stir up. Looking at the caller ID that read ‘Mikey’

“Tch, this better be good” with a tired grumble, he answered the call. “What is it”?

“I had a nightmare where you were gone and woke up having a panic attack so I thought I’d call to hear your voice”.

The sudden word vomit caused an eerie silence. If Draken wasn’t awake before, he definitely was now. His brain trying to catch up to process what the fuck was that. Before he could even say anything, Mikey beat him to it, “Anyways bye!”.

Anxious jitters making him hang up, just like that…

“Did this brat really just…” Draken’s face darkened as he practically growled in anger.

“If this prick thinks he can pull a stunt like that on me, he’s got another thing coming” he quickly grabbed a jacket and his keys, zooming over to Mikey’s place.

Once he got there, Draken banged on the door with zero hesitation. “Open up, I know you’re awake”.

It didn’t take long for the door to open, although Mikey didn’t dare look at him.

“What’s up?” He tried seeming nonchalant, which only made Draken scowl.

“Look at me, you asshole”

When he got no response, he took it upon himself to spin Toman's leader around. Shock falling upon Draken’s face when he saw the tears streaming down Mikey’s cheeks.

“Mikey… you’re crying” any anger he had started to disappear, replaced with pure concern.

“Huh?” the short male reached out, feeling the teary streak down his face “Oh, I guess I am”.

“The fuck you guess?! Talk to me, or I’ll beat you up”

That caused Mikey to let out a dry chuckle, but seeing how serious Draken was, he let out a sigh.

“It was just a silly dream, don’t get your boxers in a twist now”

Oh that really was the last straw. Draken picked him up by the collar, his eyes alone showed how upset he was.

“You don’t just call someone in the middle of the night, having a fucking panic attack, and then brush it off as nothing! The hell is wrong with you, Manjiro?!”

Mikey flinched at the rare use of his first name, his own frustration starting to seep out.

“What do you want me to say? That I’m so fucking afraid of losing my best friend for good? That I’ve been crying myself to sleep every night ever since that incident, dreaming of the worst to come? Is that what you want? For me to say that I can barely face you without my stomach twisting into a knot?! That as Toman’s leader I had to act fine for the sake of everyone else?!” hot tears streamed down Mikey’s cheeks, his words leaving Draken speechless. Had he really been suffering in silence this whole time..?

“Mikey… I had no idea” he loosened his grip, putting the leader back down.

“Well now you do” Mikey replied dryly, wiping off any stray tears.

Suddenly, he felt a pair of strong arms pull him into Draken’s chest.

“Huh…?” Mikey stood dumbfounded. Usually their form of affection was beating the snot out of each other and arguing over the dumbest stuff. A hug of all things felt foreign yet nice…

“I’m so sorry…”

That’s when the dam broke, all those pent up sobs finally came pouring out. Mikey buried his face into Draken’s chest, as the latter rubbed his back soothingly, whispering soft words of reassurance.

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe now”

Seeing his best friend so broken made his heart ache. Despite not having much experience with calming others, it seemed that his words and touches were working as Mikey’s breath became regulated.

“I think I’m better now…” he muttered out softly, feeling embarrassed over that whole display of emotion and affection. Hopefully Draken would leave now and they could forget about this—

“Bullshit” Draken spoke sharply, making Mikey snap his head at him.

“That part may be over, but now it’s time to make you less mopey and show you that you couldn’t get rid of me even if you tried”

A slight smile tugged at Mikey’s lips before trying to hide it away.

“I saw that little smile” Draken smirked at him. “I’m not leaving ‘till I see a full-blown one though” Uh oh, there was an evil twinkle in his eyes.

Not long after, Draken picked up Mikey with ease. Launching him onto his bed. The latter tried escaping, turning on his belly and crawling away, but it was futile as Draken straddled his waist.

“Wahait, Kenny…!” The shorter male whined of all things, feeling strong fingers trace along his back.

“Pff, did you just whine? You’re so adorable pathetic sometimes” the vice captain mused out loud, watching as Mikey’s ears turned a nice crimson red. “Look, you aren’t even trying to fight back~” he cooed into the flushed ear, earning a squeak. Draken snickered at his best friend’s antics, his fingers starting to travel towards the back of Mikey’s ribs.

This earned all kinds of snorts of laughter “Nahahat thehehere! It’s so bahahad!” Mikey could barely get a word out without dissolving into a fit of giggles. It was always so precious seeing his usual tough friend look so soft and vulnerable. As much as Mikey would try to hide it, Draken loved that side of him.

“Oh yehehes there!” the vice captain said mockingly, pressing between the bones, pinching at them, watching Mikey’s shoulders shake with glee.

“Kehehenny, stahahap— EEE WAHAHAIT!!!” Mikey went ballistic as Draken suddenly went for the kill, his hands latching onto Mikey’s waist. Thumbs drilling against the hip bone and squeezing the area with vigor.

“Wait? Wait for what? Tickling waits for no man!” He laughed along with him, tormenting the sensitive hips.

“BWAHAHAHA! OKAHAHAY! STAHAHAHAP!” Mikey flailed around like a car dealer balloon. Limbs going anywhere and everywhere with zero sense of direction. His mind clouded, only thinking of the overwhelming ticklish feel.

“Hmm… I dunno… Lemme check” with that, Draken flipped him over, getting better access to his face. It was bright red, eyes pricked with happy tears, and most importantly, Mikey’s classic child-like smile. “Should I? You seem to be having a lot of fun~” he teased, trailing his fingers along Mikey’s tummy now.

Toman’s leader gave off an exasperated look. He couldn’t fight off that giddy smile even if he wanted to, maybe this wasn’t so bad.

“Fine, maybe a bit longer” he spoke sheepishly. And just like that, happy giggles and squeals filled up the once dull room. Hopefully the rest of the Sano household doesn’t get woken up…

Later on, when Mikey’s mind would wander back to that terrible thought, he’d always have a hand by his side to reassure him.

___________________________________________

[yourlocalghoulette]

Chapter 2~ Take On Me

Series Masterlist~ Main Masterlist~Meet the horses~

Warnings- eventual smut so MDNI! pretty much just fluff, reader has trauma, language, slow burn, flirting, relationship building

w/c: 3k

A/N~ part 2 is hereee! im literally so excited to be writing this story. part 3 is already in the works! please reblog, it always helps! Lmk if you want to be on the taglist:))

It was only when you got Joel’s number and scheduled your first work day that it started feeling real. Doing this, being around horses again, the thing that hurt you more than anything. 

Well, it wasn’t the horses that hurt you. It was the way you were forced to push your limits with them. The way you were yelled at if you didn’t do something right. The way your stomach sank every time you were forced to use an unneeded pair of spurs on a horse.

Sleep doesn’t come easy Thursday night, the night before the long-awaited first day. You toss and turn in your bed, palms clammy and forehead sweaty. You kick off the matcha-colored bedspread you were wrapped in and sit up in bed, trying to take deep breaths to clear your head. You glance at your phone. 2:00 AM. If you know Sōl well enough, she’s probably at a party. She definitely won’t answer until morning. 

So you text the one person who also might not be awake but still understands. Joel.

You click on the chat that only a few formal messages have been exchanged in and wonder if you’re being too impulsive. What is he going to think about you texting him at two in the morning? Your mind clouded with sleepiness and delusion, you text him anyway.

You- sorry for texting so late. having second thoughts about tmrw. 

To your surprise, the ‘read’ icon pops up as soon as you send it. 

Joel- i understand how you feel. are you wanting to cancel tomorrow? i was looking forward to it.

Did you want to cancel? Your brain is in a frenzy. He’s looking forward to it, you think over and over.

You- idk. i think still want to come tomorrow but I’m gonna take it slow:)

Joel- that makes sense and it’s totally good with me. can’t blame ya for feeling reluctant. you can pace things as slow as you want, ok cowgirl? 

The nickname jumped off of your screen at you and butterflies take off inside your stomach. 

You- ok cowboy;) thanks. excited to see u and the horses tmr!

Joel- likewise. now get some sleep, cowgirl. 

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you turn off your phone. The conversation was short but sweet and oddly comforting. 

You silently pad over to the kitchen and quickly make a cup of chamomile tea with lots of honey. While you drink it, you shamelessly open the stable’s website and scroll to the picture of Joel and Sarah. You look closely at Joel’s left hand, resting over Sarah’s shoulder. 

No ring.

Ok, he wasn’t married, but that didn’t mean much. He could still be dating, you tell yourself. Even with that possibility, you catch yourself smiling softly at the photo, staring into Joel’s dark brown eyes. Soft and comforting, like the tea you’re drinking. You sigh and walk slowly back to bed, rubbing your eyes which at this point are bloodshot from tiredness.

With Joel’s messages imprinted in your head, you quickly fall asleep.

“Un-fucking-believable. I gave you one. Job. ONE job! To win the goddamn gold medal. And what did you do? You knocked over FOUR jumps. You are a dissapointment to this team. To the profession of jumping.”

“Please- I-I’m sorry, the horse was acting weird! Probably because you made me whip him when he doesn’t need it!”

“Don’t use those goddamn tears on me. Maybe I should show you how a whip feels.”

You wake up three hours later in a cold sweat, your face streaked with tears. You breathe heavily, your hands shaking with each breath. You run your hands over your face. 

“It’s just a memory,” you whisper over and over to yourself. You try to breathe in through your nose and out your mouth, calming yourself down.

Sometimes you wish you don’t have to wake up in an empty bed, no one by your side to comfort you. It stings when you think about the last time someone was in your bed. 

You shake the memories away for right now. Taking one last deep breath to attempt to ground you, you climb out of bed. You skip breakfast, not sure if you would be able to keep any food down with the amount of nerves flitting in your stomach. 

You brush your teeth and throw on some mascara quickly, your hands still shaky and making it difficult. You put on a black tank top and faded boot cut jeans, along with a loose red flannel because it can get cold in the early Texas mornings.

It’s 6:00 on the dot when you slide on your steel-toed work boots, tucking them under your jeans. You grab your keys and a granola bar just in case and head out the door.

As you struggle to start your old pickup truck, second thoughts and anxieties start to fill your mind once again. You struggle to push them out of your head, filling it instead with the thought that you get to see Joel again. Nevertheless, your hands shake around the wheel as you drive the short drive to Sarah’s Stables. 

When you pull into the driveway, Joel is sitting outside the barn on the concrete bench, shaking his leg with a nervous expression on his face. You step out of your truck and stride over to Joel as he stands up, trying to put on a confident smile even though the last thing you feel is confident. 

“Morning,” Joel grins, shaking your hand firmly. His hand lingers on yours a little longer than it should before he pulls away. 

“G’morning, cowboy,” you tip an invisible hat, and he returns the gesture. He leads you into the barn, gesturing you to follow with his hand.

“Did’ya get any sleep last night?” He asks with a hint of concern in his voice, making your heart melt. 

You shrug. “Kind of. And I’m really sorry for texting you so late- or, early? I didn’t really have anyone else to text.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Joel waves it off. “I liked it, having someone to talk to even for a bit. I’m always up past 2 doing paperwork and ordering feed and all that shit.”

“Good to know,” you grin, trying to hide the flustered expression on your face. You enter the barn, immediately walking up to the small Shetland pony’s stall. “Hey, buddy,” you coo, gently tracing the long stripe down his face. “And to whom do I owe the pleasure?”

Joel chuckles, leaning next to you on the stall door. “That’s Orion. Rescued him along with the percheron, Amadeus, from an animal hoarder.”

“So you’ve had a rough time with humans, huh, bud?” You nod understandingly. “I get it.”

“Very. I get it too,” Joel says softly. “So. Let’s get to work, huh? I’m gonna show you the different feed mixes for each horse. Not sayin’ you’ll have to feed ‘em every time you’re working here. We’ll feed the horses then I’ll introduce you. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds perfect. It feels weird, being at a barn after so long of avoiding horses, y’know?” you sigh softly. “Is it too soon to say I have a good feeling about you and this barn? Like…I don’t know how to explain it. It just feels different.”

Joel nods knowingly, toying absentmindedly with Orion’s forelock. “Not at all. I get it,” he says understandingly. His eyes soften as he watches you interact with Orion, a slight faraway look on your face. “You doin’ okay, cowgirl?”

You nod, straightening up. “Yeah. Sorry. Just…zoned out.”

“No need to apologize,” Joel smiles softly. A tall cinnamon colored Tennessee Walker down the aisle kicks his stall door in impatience. “Let’s do this.”

In less than 20 minutes, the horses are fed and happily nickering into their feed buckets. Joel had written down the feed mixes for each individual horses with care and posted it on the wall so you didn’t have to memorize them right away. You can tell how much Joel Miller cares for his horses. 

“We can turn the horses out now.” Joel tosses you two halters, a purple nylon one and a teal rope one. “Think you can handle two horses at once?”

“Totally.” You sling the halters over your shoulder. 

“The rope halter is for Whiskey, the Tennessee Walker and the nylon is for Dottie, the Appaloosa mare. Stalls 5 and 6.”

In no time, you worked together to get all six horses out to the pasture. It’s picturesque, a large green field with a tall white fence surrounding the perimeter. It feels like a daydream watching the horses frolic aorund with eachother, enjoying their taste of freedom after being caged in a stall for the night. 

You and Joel sit on the lower bar of the fence, arms resting along the top piece with your head on top. Observing the horses’ behaviors carefully, you can see with the way the chestnut Quarter Horse gelding pins his ears and threatens any horse that gets close to his pile of hay that he’s top dog. The dominant horse, the leader.  A comfortable silence falls between you and Joel, as you both let out a collective sigh of relief as the stress of morning feeding washes off. 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Joel sighs, breaking off the silence. 

“Gorgeous,” you agree, glancing over at Joel. His soft brown eyes are full of adoration for his horses.

He gestures towards the chestnut Quarter Horse. “That right there is Magnum. Total powerhouse. Used to be a ‘coon hunting horse.”

You giggle, staring over at Magnum’s solid build and shiny coat. “People still hunt for raccoons?”

Joel shrugs incredulously. “I guess. His owner gave him to me because he wasn’t getting enough attention. He was ridden twice a week and left to rot by himself in a field the rest of the time. He’s obviously dom, as you’ve probably noticed.”

“Mhm,” you nod. “I noticed. I can tell he has a strong personality, too.” You grin, looking over at Joel.

“Sure does,” Joel smiles back proudly. Your shared gaze lasts a little too long before you turn your head away, looking back at the horses and trying to hide the flustered expression on your face. 

Joel introduces you to the rest of the horses; Amadeus, the percheron, Dottie, the petite Appaloosa mare, and Arizona, the gorgeous flaxen-colored mustang/Arabian cross. 

“Say, have you eaten anything for breakfast yet?” Joel asks, holding out his hand to help you up from your perches on the fence. 

You’re sure this man is going to be the death of you. You shake your head sheepishly, gently grabbing his hand as you stand up. His grip is soft and warm, hands calloused from years of hard work. “Not really,” you say as you let go of his hand. “I was too nervous.”

“What, am I that scary to ya’, cowgirl?” He grins cheekily, nudging your shoulder playfully as you both walk back into the barn.

“Pfft,” you roll your eyes as you nudge him back. “No, not scared. Terrified.” You stick your tongue out at him. 

“Ha, ha, darlin’. Why don’t we go get some breakfast? Gotta fuel up before cleanin’ the stalls.”

You shrug. “Sure. Where were you thinking?”

“Home Grounds is a good coffee shop, good bakery stuff too,” Joel offers. 

“No fucking way,” your eyes widen in surprise. “I work there! How have I never seen you there?”

“You must not be on the clock when I go. I’m sure I’d remember a face like yours,” Joel says softly, then catches himself, clearing his throat. “Sorry, that was-”

“It’s fine,” you wave it off. “Let’s go. We can take your truck. Mine’s a little…messy right now.”

Joel chuckles. “Sure as hell can’t be as bad as mine.”

Soon, you’re driving with Joel to the coffee shop, Take On Me by A-ha playing quietly through the speakers.

“I love this song!” You smile widely, opening the window and resting your arm outside. 

“Me too,” Joel turns up the stereo. “You sing at all, cowgirl?”

You shake your head quickly, eyes wide in mock horror. “Not at all. Do you, cowboy?”

“A bit. I play a smidge of guitar, too,” he smirks. 

“Oh, really? I’m gonna have to hear some of these Joel Miller guitar skills sometime,” you grin.

Joel shakes his head, a smile growing on his face as he pulls into the coffee shop driveway. “Believe me, I hype up my skills wayyy too much.” He turns off the truck and quickly runs around to your side of the truck to open your door. Butterflies take off in your stomach as he does this. 

Hiding your flustered look, you deadpan him, eyes rolling. “Dude,” you grin, climbing out and he shuts the door behind you. 

“What?” He opens the coffee shop door for you too. “Momma always taught me to be a gentleman.”

“And my mom always taught me to never trust men,” you grin cheekily.

“I can change that,” he side eyes you. 

Trying to ignore his words, you wave at a coworker. “Hey, Jess!” You call to her, walking up to the counter. 

“Hey, girlie. Who’s that?” She asks slyly, eyeing Joel. “New boyfriend?”

“Uh, no,” you say quickly before Joel can hear. “I’m working for him. He owns a horse barn.”

“You’re back to horses?” Jess inquires, cocking a brow. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, okay?” You spin around to face Joel. “What are you getting?”

“Just a black coffee and blueberry muffin, but don’t worry, cowgirl. I gotchu.” He starts taking out his wallet but you playfully swat his arm.

“Don’t. Please. I get employee discount anyway.”

Joel sighs in defeat, holding up his hands in mock offense. “Fine. But I’m paying next time.”

Next time, next time, next time….

After you order, the black coffee for him and a cold brew for you, you go to put your card in the reader to notice Joel’s card is already there. “Joel!” You mutter, giving him a disapproving look. 

“Hey, I’m tryna be nice, okay?” He chuckles. 

You roll your eyes. “Whatever. Thanks, really.”

The atmosphere felt charged with an unspoken tension as you both sat at a small table by the window, the warm sunlight filtering in. Joel's eyes seemed to hold a certain depth, a familiarity that stirred something within you.

"So, tell me about yourself, cowgirl," Joel said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you.

You took a sip of your cold brew, gathering your thoughts. "There’s not a whole lot to tell. Well, there is, but not a lot I want to go into right now. I fell in love with horses after riding a pony at a fair, and it kind of exploded from there. I started off riding Western and doing gymkhanas, then switched over to hunter/jumpers. That was obviously a huge change. I exelled really quickly in that, but as you probably know, being the best doesn’t mean you’re treated the best. A lot of shit happened at those barns, and I quit when when I was 18. People called me selfish and self-absorbed for quitting, which is what i believed for awhile. But my mental health imrpoved a lot after quitting and I came to accept the fact that it was a good thing.”

Joel nodded, his expression understanding. "I get that. Sometimes life throws us curveballs, and we need to take a step back to reassess things."

"Yeah, exactly," you replied, feeling a sense of relief wash over you at his understanding. "But now I'm back, and I'm hoping things will be different this time."

"I'm sure they will be," Joel said with a reassuring smile. "You've got a good head on your shoulders, cowgirl."

You felt heat creeping up your cheeks at his compliment, quickly taking another sip of your cold brew to hide your reaction. "Thanks, Joel. I appreciate that."

The conversation flowed effortlessly between you, covering everything from your favorite books to your shared love of old John Wayne western movies. With each passing moment, you found yourself becoming more and more drawn to Joel, his easygoing nature and genuine kindness pulling you in.

Before you knew it, your cups were empty, and it was time to head back to the barn. As you walked side by side with Joel, the familiar feeling of nervous excitement bubbled up inside you once again.

As soon as you walk back into the barn, he turns on a 70s playlist and tosses you a mucking fork. “Ready to muck some stalls, cowgirl?”

The music fills the barn with a nostalgic vibe as you take the mucking fork from Joel with a grin. "Born ready," you reply, matching his playful tone.

Together, you fall into a rhythm of cleaning the stalls, the repetitive motion oddly soothing as you work side by side. Joel hums along to the music, occasionally breaking out into a soft whistle that echoes through the barn.

As you work, you can't help but steal glances at Joel, admiring the way his muscles flex beneath his shirt with each movement. There's something comforting about his presence, a sense of safety and warmth that you haven't felt in a long time.

Before you know it, the stalls are clean, and the horses are happily munching on fresh hay. You wipe the sweat from your brow, feeling a sense of satisfaction at a job well done.

"Thanks for your help, cowgirl," Joel says, giving you a grateful smile as he leans against the stall door.

"No problem," you reply, returning his smile. "It was actually kind of fun."

Joel chuckles, pushing himself off the door. "Glad to hear it. You've got a talent for this, you know?"

You feel a swell of pride at his words, a sense of validation that you haven't felt in a long time. "Thanks, Joel. That means a lot coming from you."

He gives you a nod of appreciation before glancing at his watch. "Well, I hate to cut this short, but I've got some paperwork to take care of. Think you can handle things on your own for a bit?"

You nod confidently, eager to prove yourself. "Of course. I'll hold down the fort."

"Great," Joel says, giving you a pat on the shoulder. "I'll be back in a bit. And hey, if you need anything, just give me a shout."

With that, he disappears into the office, leaving you alone in the barn. You take a deep breath, feeling a surge of determination coursing through your veins.

You may have started the day with doubts and anxieties, but now, as you stand in the quiet of the barn surrounded by the gentle sounds of the horses, you feel a sense of purpose wash over you.

[twilight-at-midnight]

Twilight Writing Prompt

***

Angst:

1) “I was only pranking you!”

2) “What? Can’t take a harmless joke?”

3) “If you’re looking for sympathy, you can find it in the dictionary. It’s between shit and syphilis.”

4) “You are my greatest regret to ever have come into my life.”

5) “I can’t think of anything worse! You are nothing but selfish!”

6) “I need some alone time, get over it!”

7) “Over it!”

8) “So, everyone in the world is deceived except for you?”

9) “That’s not what I’m saying!”

Bonus: “We can’t be friends anymore.”

10) “You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t you dare try and apologize for something you haven’t done or anything to do with!”

11) “Come here, let me hold you.”

12) “You have nothing to apologize for.”

13) “I know you’re hurt, (Y/n). You can’t lie to me, show me where it hurts so I can help you.”

14) “Here, hold my hand.”

15) “Sure we can cuddle, if that’ll make you feel better.”

Bonus: “Did you not sleep again last night, (Y/n)?”

16) “Let me take care of it, alright? You need to rest.”

17) “I don’t need a babysitter! I’m (y/a) years old!”

18) “I’m here to take care of you, (Y/n).”

19) “Don’t you roll your eyes at me!”

20) “You’re starting to sound like my father.”

21) “Where the hell have you been?!”

22) “None of your business!”

23) “(Y/n), we’re just really worried about you!”

24) “Well, don’t worry about me! I’m fine!”

25) “You have just kicked over a hornets nest.”

Fluff/angst:

1) “What makes you think I’d do something like that?”

2) “Please… leave me alone.”

3) “You play the M/I so beautifully.” (M/I = Musical Instruments)

4) “Why should I follow your plan? What’s in it for me?”

5) “I never thought I’d get to live up to the day where I actually get to witness your first curse word.”

6) “It’s not funny!”

7) “To hell, it’s not!”

8) “Can I take you for a ride?”

9) “Sounds like something I need.”

10) “Don’t be too upset, (Y/n). I believe and I always will.”

11) “It seems to me that you’re the only supporter I’ve got and you have no idea how much you mean to me. It’s hard to describe just how much.”

12) “As in, you mean the world?”

13) “Not even that can put words together in the right way.”

14) “Your cuteness is making everyone stare, stop it.”

15) “You make me proud. You know that, right?”

16) “Can we just get in bed?”

17) “I don’t want to take a chance on the possibility that would make you as sick as I am.”

18) “Any time without you is far too long. I’m not going to get sick, just let me hold you until you fall back asleep.”

19) “I’m reaching the level where I don’t give a fuck.”

20) “I don’t care, I’m not letting you get up until your one hundred percent better.”

21) “What did you just do?”

22) “You’re the most important thing in the world to me. You’re my absolute world.”

23) “Give me a hug!”

25) “God, I missed you so much!.”

26) “Hey, let me in! I’m out here with your favorite pizza!”

Funny/angst:

1) “When it comes to pranks, you have to know when to start as well as you know where to stop. Don’t take it too far.”

2) “Here, take my arm. I don’t want you to fall.”

3) “You know I’ll always be here for you, right?”

4) “Let me kiss it better.”

5) “I know you’re mad at me, but would a kiss change your mind?”

6) “I don’t care what they think and neither should you. They win if you allow them to have the satisfaction they’re looking for, whatever you do, don’t give them that.”

7) “Even when you annoy the hell out of me, I still love you.”

8) “You call this a problem? I call it a solution.”

9) “Not cool, (Y/n). It’s not cool!”

10) “Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.”

11) “Do I get bonus points if I pretend to care?”

12) “Where was I when you dropped on your head?”

13) “Don’t talk to me like that!”

14) “I could banish you, you know. Watch yourself!”

15) “How the hell did you survive that?”

16) “Excuse me, I have to go make a scene.”

17) “I’m gonna need some therapy after this.”

18) “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point, it’s really go big or go home.”

19) “Just stay near me, alright? I don’t like the way everyone’s staring at you.”

20) “You still don’t have to be incredibly rude about it. I was just asking, it was just a question. It really doesn’t mean anything.”

21) “Did you not sleep again last night?”

22) “Did you see that? You saw that, right?”

23) “You’re like a drug to me.”

24) “You might wanna reconsider your tone of voice, sometimes you make me so mad!”

25) “It seems as though everyone has taken a shine to you.”

26) “Kiss me again.”

All the above:

1) “I’ve got this handled, alright? You don’t need to butt in every time.”

2) “You’re ruining everyone’s good time. Keep quiet.”

3) “I didn’t know you could sing.”

4) “Have you lost your mind? I’ll help you find it!”

5) “It’s been ages! It’s amazing to see you again! How have you been!”

6) “You’re the absolute best! Thank you for coming!”

7) “What sounds good to you that you’ll eat?”

8) “Don’t let them get to you. If they were your friends, they would be sticking up for you instead of going along to make fun of you.”

9) “You promise that you’ll call me if you ever need anything?”

10) “I love you more!”

11) “I’ve been an idiot through this whole thing.”

12) “Darn right you have.”

***

@twilight-reader-inserts

Requests: open

Characters include:

• Carlisle Cullen

• Edward Cullen

• Emmett Cullen

• Jasper Cullen

• Jacob Black

• Aro Volturi

• Caius Volturi

• Jane Volturi

• Riley

•,Rosalie Hale

• Alice Cullen

[kayleezra]

Someone New (Part 2 to Someone Else) // (Marcus Pike x GN!Reader)

(not like the fun Hozier song unfortunately)

Word Count: 5,248

Warnings: nada unless you count angst and self-esteem issues 👍

Summary: so… I can’t thank those enough that hyped up the last part and thus encouraged me to write a second one! I truly had no intentions to continue it but then it was so well received I had to! If you’re wondering how I wrote self-esteem issues so well, it’s because I’m self-projecting 😌

AND I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, LIFE IS A B!TCH (there will be a part 3)

I can be better. I can be whatever they need me to be. People will only stay if I create my worth by being useful. I can be useful. I am useful. I’ll become whatever people need. People deserve what they need, I’ll give that to them no matter the cost. I’ll be what you need me to be.

You want to sleep away from Marcus, you want to be alone, to be allowed the space to process what you’ve just been told. You find some solace on the couch but it isn’t far enough to allow yourself to cry. Marcus will hear, you don’t want him to hear. 

Marcus lies alone, hating himself, not for telling you but for even getting distracted in the first place. Now the bed that’s usually warm and full of love is cold and he can feel your warmth pulling at him from the living room where you lie. After nearly an hour of tossing and turning, he gives up.

You can’t sleep, your mind is swirling with things you could have done differently. Should’ve dressed nicer for him, he always said he loved when you dressed down because it was your ‘truest self’ but looking back on it… he was probably bringing attention to it in hopes you’d notice and change it. Been more spontaneous and fun, why stay in and cook for each other when the whole world is just outside your door? You rip apart everything, everything he’s said or done. How long ago did this all start? How far back do you have to be unsure of his words and actions?

The hurricane of thoughts, slamming against the inside of your cranium, comes to an unsettling halt when Marcus enters the doorway. He looks like a mutt hoping to be adopted: scared, guilty and hopeful. And yet… when you see him… your chest tightens and your mind is screaming at you and at him to the point where your thoughts are incomprehensible. 

“I know I don’t deserve… I-. will you please come to bed? I- I can’t sleep when uh- when the bed is just so empty and cold,” he looks at the ground and rubs his neck uncomfortably, “we don't have to cuddle or anything I just-” he scoffs at himself. He can't believe he got up and would ask you this. “You know what, forget I said anything,” he says before turning around. 

You wanted to find solace alone but… you also don’t want to push him further away than he already is. So you get up from the couch and walk to the bedroom, once filled with dreams that you now know will never come true and thus the guilt that comes with it. Marcus is surprised by your appearance and clearly happy but he holds himself back he knows things aren’t the same and he doesn’t have the right to want you close. So he lets you lay in bed next to him with a distance that says ‘divorce parents’. You’re scared this is worse than the physical distance that distanced the two of you into separate rooms. So you move towards him… with a hesitation that says ‘happily married with 2 kids’. You’re scared of losing him and at this point will do anything to keep him so you sleep next to him as though nothing happened. You even bring your arms around him and hold him as if you love him the same, as if he still loves you the same. 

You just have to pretend to be happy and then one day… you’ll believe it. If you just keep pretending that things are fine for you… then they will be. While also improving yourself to ensure Marcus stays interested, of course… but right now you play the part of pretending so that everything’s fine.

Just pretend that Marcus's touch doesn’t feel like betrayal. Just imagine that it’s yesterday and everything you thought you knew is still true. You’re happy and Marcus is happy and the two of you are happy together.

Emotional exhaustion is the only reason that you end up asleep. You didn’t feel tired, but then again a lot has happened in the last few hours that you didn’t see coming. You know you’re mentally and emotionally exhausted because you’re in bed with him. Because you didn’t stand for the one ounce of self-respect you have. You’ve imagined being cheated on and betrayed, how you’d calmly walk out and let their regret and sorrow eat them alive because you deserve better. But here you are, in the bed and arms of a man who just told you he’s interested in someone else.

Marcus doesn’t sleep. You didn’t calmly walk out but the regret and sorrow eats him alive all the same. He deserves it, he knows he does and he hates it, he wishes he wasn’t so stupid as to get distracted and hurt you because now he’s left with nothing but the mess he created. He’s confused, how could he love you and yet so easily get pulled into Teresa’s trap? He never questioned his love for you, you took up all the space in his mind so how was Teresa able to squeeze in? When he thinks back to when he and Teresa first met there’s nothing, just another co-worker. When did it become more? He remembers thinking about you when she spoke about being single, about how happy you made him. Then… he remembers seeing and talking with Teresa and only seeing and thinking about her. When did that happen? How did that happen? How could he let this happen? And yet here you lay next to him. He knows you’re only in his arms because you’re scared he'll leave because that’s basically what he said to you. He’s resurrected the evil voices that taunt your every being, the voices he helped you fight into submission, a battle that took you years. He’s broken every moral code, value and promise he’s ever made to himself and to you. By 3:00 am his grief eats him alive to the point where he can’t fight his exhaustion.

An uneasy anxiety wakes you, the time reads 4:42 am. You feel… different… cold and robotic. Numb. You’ve allowed yourself to take blame and create a solution that you can provide, it’s made you indifferent and detached. You're no longer a loving partner but an actor playing one, acting out the role perfectly but you can only act it perfectly if you don’t let your own emotions get in the way. You think about picture-perfect relationships, often subliminally misogynistic, and use them as your guide. You’ll get up and dressed and make breakfast, a big one, a big ‘I’m sorry’ movie breakfast! Marcus will be happy. You carefully remove Marcus’s arm from you. His touch isn’t warm, it burns your skin and feels like a lie. You breathe better without his arm on you, without him touching you but you don’t allow yourself to enjoy that freedom because you have a job to do. You shower, shave, exfoliate, wear perfume, do your hair and put on a nice not-so-casual outfit before creating an expansive spread for breakfast. You’ve gone about the morning like a stereotypical 1950s housewife, all that’s missing is a husband that won’t appreciate your work. 

It is just as you’re setting everything in place that Marcus appears. You can tell he’s confused like he’s trying to figure out if this is real or a dream. A dream… see you can be his dream if you just try.

“What’s all this?” he asks, confused. And now you feel silly… 

“I- um-…” you’re suddenly nervous and can’t find the right words, the words that don’t scream ‘I’m terrified you’ll leave me so I’ll do and be whatever you want me to’. While fighting to find the words Marcus slowly makes his way to you. You take a deep breath, 

“I just… I wanted to remind us how… good, happy we are together,” you muster out. 

“Oh baby you don’t have to do that, I’m always happy with you, you never have to remind me,” Marcus says solemnly. ‘Then why are you interested in someone else’ your brain says. You nod as though you believe him.

The two of you sit and enjoy your hard work but it’s filled with a heavy and awkward silence. 

“What time did you get up? I mean, you did all this,” Marcus says while gesturing to the food, “and you’re dressed up.”

“It’s nothing, I just couldn’t fall back asleep this morning so…” you shrug, “I got a head start on the day. Plus I figured it’d be nice for you to not have to wake up to what looks like a beached sea creature,” you joke. You smile and laugh at yourself, trying to ensure he doesn’t see how truthful you’re being, how negatively you’re seeing yourself. Marcus puts his cutlery down and looks at you seriously, leaning into the table and giving you his hands to take. You place your hands in his, leaning over the table yourself. 

“You never, never, are anything other than beautiful to me, ever.”‘Then why did she catch your eye?’ “I love seeing you relaxed and happy more than anything, I love it because it's like you’re bearing your soul to me.”‘Then why weren’t my soul and I enough?’

His words burn, they hurt, you’d actually prefer poisoned words or a physical blow because what he’s doing now is so much worse. It’s a reminder of what was, what could’ve been, of what he’s capable of faking. 

You smile and scoff, unable to take in his words completely without crying. He can’t see you cry. You take your hands from his.

“You’re the only one who thinks that Marcus and it might be because you need to see an optometrist. Plus,” you continue to ensure he can’t break down your defences, “I had time and wanted to remind myself how hot I can be.” Another joke, anything but face reality, change the topic, nod and smile, but don’t look in the mirror too long, don’t look at Marcus too long, don’t interpret his words, let everything roll off your back and avoid the actuality. 

Marcus knows what you’re doing, he knows you too well not to and it breaks him to see you put up all your defenses. To have you listen to all the evil little voices in your head, to have you act and the worst part? He knows it’s all because of him. He knows these defences, he encountered them early on in your relationship, and he helped take them down. Now he’s the reason they’re up. You’re creating a version of yourself you believe he’ll like, a version he’ll love, but he truly does love the real you. He loves waking up to your relaxed body, no matter how awkward the position seems or the state of your pyjamas. He loves waking up to see the hairstyle your pillows made you, to see whatever face your face has found itself in even when it leaves you drooling, especially when it leaves you drooling. He loves your morning breath and your slightly cranky and disoriented mood when you first wake. He loves seeing your shoulders be relaxed and your jaw unclenched, even if it gives you less-than-perfect posture and a double chin. He loves all these things that you hate because he knows it means you’re at ease with him. That you trust him. That you don’t have to put a show on for him, a brave face that you wear too often. He’s one of the few that get to see you, not a facade. Got, Your brain quickly corrects, got to see.

“I think we need to talk about what I said last night,” Marcus says.

‘You mean how you found somebody else?’, “I don’t know that-...”

“I know it’s going to… suck to put it lightly but I told you for a reason. Because I do love you, and I’d never hide anything from you, including some silly crush.”

“Silly crush? You told me she took up your mind, that you were mesmerized by her laugh. It wasn’t just finding someone attractive or enjoying their company!” you begin to raise your voice.

“I know, I know. I- I just don’t know what to do. I do love you, I've envisioned our lives together, growing old and being the cutest couple in the care home…”

“Then how could you fall so easily for Teresa? How could you love me if you are able to forget all about me at the sight of another woman?!”

“I don’t know, I- My mind is a mess. I can’t give you an answer. I’m sorry. But… I don’t want you to do this, to be this.” Marcus says while motioning towards you and the absurd breakfast you put together.

“Marcus… I don’t know that I can do that. I look at you and… all I see are my flaws, reasons I’m not good enough. And I know you’ll argue that but it doesn’t matter what you say because I no longer trust a word you say.” Tears well up in your eyes, this isn’t how your morning was supposed to go, you were supposed to fake happiness until everything was fine.

Your words break Marcus’s heart. Flaws? You didn’t have any in his eyes. He’s desperate.

“But tell me you’re willing to try, please?”

I can’t lose him, he’s my everything. He just needs time, he’ll realize he’s being silly and come back to me. He has to. Things will be fine. They have to be. 

You take a deep breath and nod, “I’m willing to try,” you say just above a whisper. The words hurt because it means stabbing yourself in the heart every moment that you look at him. Pretending that you’re enough when you’re not. This isn’t the same as pretending things are fine because Marcus has already admitted it isn’t, that he knows about your defences and doesn’t want you to use them. To openly let yourself get hurt.

— a week later —

The day has taken everything out of you, you’re exhausted but you’ve got housework to do. Truth is, this last week you’ve felt like utter garbage and have tried to hide it by putting more effort into your appearance. If you look good on the outside, you'll feel good on the inside right? Well, it hasn’t really worked but it’s given you something to think about besides the crushing cloud of melancholy that fogs your head. However, between the cloud and the energy you’ve exerted trying to ignore it, you’ve come home exhausted. Although it doesn’t feel much like home anymore, you’re constantly on edge now, waiting for Marcus to say or do something. All while finding subtle ways to improve yourself. You’ve slacked a lot on the house duties. Marcus hasn’t said anything and he’s picked up your slack. He reassures you that it’s okay given the circumstances, that he wants you to ‘focus on yourself’. 

Marcus has found a way to come home early every day this week, except today. Your brain tells you that he doesn’t have to stay late to work but is instead spending time with Teresa. But you can’t find it in yourself to care. You’re too tired if he wants to leave, and you knoe he will but at this point there's nothing you can do to change that. 

While you mentioned taking a break, allowing him to explore, he really hasn’t. He’s felt so guilt-ridden about what he’s done to you, he just wants to make it all better. That in no way redeems him, he knows that. He’s invested more in you, trying to communicate how awful he feels, how he knows he fucked up. Then a case calls extra attention from the team and in walks Teresa… He sees her and feels guilt. He wants to run away from her and into your arms but then she smiles at him… and he forgets you. He forgets how you make him giggle when you wake up annoyed at your alarm every morning. He forgets how you always pour his coffee before your own. He forgets that you’ll plan spontaneous dates after a rough week to help each other forget about it even for a little. He forgets the adorable face you make when concentrating or trying to remember something. He forgets the way you jump and scream when he accidentally startles you that always ends in the two of you laughing in each other's arms. He forgets that he has a piece of the sun waiting at home for him.

You change out of your day's clothes and into some nice loungewear. Nice enough to be comfy but not enough to fall asleep immediately in. You put some music on and begin cleaning, maybe it’s the slightly messy state of your house that is attributing to your dark cloud. If you clean the house, you’ll clean your mind. You know that's not true, that this time it isn’t something you can clean or tend to, to solve. But you do it anyway, hoping it’ll provide some relief. You start in the kitchen, getting lost in the loud music, before you make your way to the bathroom and laundry, losing track of time. Then all that’s left is vacuuming. 

It’s late, you haven’t eaten or bothered to prepare anything, it didn’t feel necessary when you heard Marcus wouldn't be home for dinner. You’re tired but the music is keeping you moving and there’s a small feeling of accomplishment from getting so much work done in spite of your down mood. 

The moment work is finished, Marcus is filled with guilt again. He’s here with Teresa… you’re at home… It’s like she has a spell over him. He thinks of you and his heart sinks. He thinks about how sad he feels with you and happy he feels with Teresa… he’s made his choice. He goes home feeling sick to his stomach, but he can’t continue like this, in limbo. He thought he’d feel lighter with his mind made up but he feels heavier until he gets home and opens the door. You’re singing, and moving to the music while vacuuming. He smiles, he loves coming home to you, he wants to come home to this forever… Your singing is offkey and he loves it, it’s not a show you’re putting on.

Marcus goes and pauses the music and in a split second, you turn and scream before realizing it’s him. You put a hand to your chest, catching your breath.  Marcus laughs, 

“I didn't mean to scare you but this was the least startling way I could think of letting you know I was home.”

“How was work?”, you ask with a small smile, mustering all the energy left in your body to resemble slightly happy and not broken down. Work… Marcus thinks, that’s right, work, his decision. 

“I’ve made up my mind,” You furrow your brows, too tired to connect the dots. “I know who I love, who I want to be with more,” ‘Oh… right, I let him pick, let him decide.’ 

“And?” Marcus takes a deep breath, 

“I want to be with Teresa.”

Time stops and you’re numb, “oh,” is all that comes out. Your eyes aren’t focused and nothing feels real. “Umm… what does- where…” you begin to stutter out.

“I’ve booked a hotel and will find a new place.”

“You’ve already booked a hotel?” you ask emotionless.

Marcus nods, “Back at the office.”

“You’ve already planned…” He’s planned out how to leave. Staying wasn’t ever an option.

“I’m sorry…” Marcus starts but you can’t bear to hear it.

“No no, you- you told me what you felt and I gave you time to decide. You’ve decided. This is just… the cards we were dealt…” you say numbly. Marcus hates to hurt you because he really does love and care for you, he’s just not sure you’re his endgame. 

“I-I‘ll go pack a bag,” he says before leaving the foyer.

He decided. In your clouded head and act you forgot that things could end. That no matter what you did… it wouldn’t have been enough. Somehow this hurts less than when he first told you about Teresa, maybe part of you already knew and grieved. Maybe it was the mix of self-hatred and pessimism that took over your life last week that made the blow more bearable. What hurt was the future. What was your future? Before it was always you and Marcus… now everything was… gone. You’d have to build yourself from scratch. The unknown for the indefinite future was horrifying. Your heart begins racing, everything you knew, the stability in your life, is being stripped from you overnight. Your breaths become shallow as you think about having to move, will you be able to find a new place? Will it be nice? Close to work? What if it’s a dump, infested with rodents and insects? Your hearing is long gone, all you hear is the whirlwind in your mind. Your shallow breaths make you lightheaded and burn your lungs. You lower yourself to the ground with the help of the couch. 

Everything’s a blur and then Marcus’s face is there, in front of you. He looks worried, why’s he worried? What’s happened? Is he okay? Finally, he touches you and you hear an echo of your name come from his lips. Me, I am what’s wrong.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” you breathe out, taking some grounding breaths, focusing on how hard the ground feels beneath you. When your senses come back to you, you briefly forget what Marcus has just told you. You see him and think you’re glad he was here to help, but then it dawns on you, he’s the reason it started.

You quickly get up like his presence hurts, because it does.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-…”

“It’s fine you’re okay,” Marcus says while moving to give you a reassuring touch. You maneuver away from him, 

“I’ll let you get back to packing,” you finish without looking at him and walking out the front door. You need air and space.

You don’t go far, your mind is too busy to let your legs carry you far so you find yourself on a nearby bench, no more than 5 minutes from where Marcus is. You don’t know what to do, nothing feels real. In 30 minutes the night's cool air has appeared and made you shiver so you return to the place that hurts most with a new numbness from the cold.

Inside is Marcus with a few bags packed. 

“I was worried, I texted you but,” he motions to your phone left on the counter. 

“Sorry,” you say quietly, “lost track of time. Have you got what you need?”

“Uh… yeah…”

You nod, “when did you want to get the rest of your things?” This was really happening. 

“Um, I’m not too sure yet but within the week for sure, if that’s okay?”

“Of course,  not like I’ll be anywhere else,” you laugh coldly.

“I’m really sorry-…”

“Don’t. Don’t be, I- I want you to be happy so… don’t worry.”

Marcus begins to make his way towards the door with his bags, “I’ll text you about my things.”

“Of course,” you say with a sad smile and with that… he leaves.

The night is a bit of a blur, at first, you were in a mixed state of denial and numbness but at one point you were too tired to hold yourself together and you broke. You ended up laying down on the floor, the bed and the couch having too many memories of him. You don’t sleep and not just because the ground is uncomfortable.

At 6 am panic sets in. You can’t live here, you have to move. You open your phone and begin rapidly planning your future, taking screenshots and sending emails. Just like you have your whole life, you’re left to go it alone, to depend on no one but yourself, working yourself into the ground and then working some more. As heartbreaking and frustrating as it is, you also know one more thing about yourself: no matter what, you always get to the finish line, and you can depend on yourself.

—-4days later—-

You’ve spent all your free time packing and searching for your future. On your days off you’ve gone to different homes and renting spaces and neighbourhoods to see what could be a good fit. You find an apartment near your workplace that’s decent. It’s small but it’s just you so… it’ll work. It’s clean and safe and you can afford it which is all you can really ask for. You’ve been so busy you haven’t had time to grieve, or in other words, you haven’t allowed yourself to grieve by burying yourself in other things.

You’re signing the lease when your phone buzzes in your pocket. 

It’s a text from Marcus that reads: ‘I can pick my stuff up tonight or tomorrow if tonight is too late of notice.’

You text him it’s fine and set to meet at 5 pm.

You get back to your place and begin packing, not only your stuff but Marcus’s as well. You try not to get sentimental about packing the things you once shared but tears escape nonetheless. You try to lessen the pain by forcing yourself to get as much packing done as possible, the sooner you can get out of this place, the better. 

This place hurts to live in now, it feels like you’re living with a ghost. You yearn for Marcus to return but the old Marcus, the ghost of him. You’re constantly bombarded with flashbacks of happy moments between the two of you. That wasn’t the worst of it though. The worst was seeing what could have been. Walking into the kitchen and seeing the two of you attempting a new recipe together. Going to do laundry and seeing a new detergent that Marcus bought because it smelt nice. Going to bed and seeing an older you and Marcus reading comfortably in that same bed. It was like memories you hadn't yet created… and now never would. That hurt the most. These illusions make you want to run back into Marcus’s arms and make them a reality, but this reminds you of the second worst reminder: you never wanted to leave Marcus’s arms… Marcus wanted to leave yours. 

You’re folding extra linens when there's a knock at your door. You know it’s Marcus so you just tell him to let himself in. 

How weird that the two of you used to have keys to this place and enter with the relief of having finished the day and being able to see each other. And now, one of you has to knock, one of you is now a stranger and the other can’t bear living in these four walls. 

Marcus walks in as you finish folding the item in hand, placing it in a box. He stops in his tracks just as quickly as he entered. He takes in the state of what was once his home. A lot of decorations and non-essential furnishings have been stripped off and gathered near the front door, along with boxes, more than was necessary for his stuff.

“What’s uh- what’s going on?” he asks confused.

“Packing,” you say quick, almost crudely.

“You’re moving?”

“Yeah,” you take a breath and finally stop and look to Marcus, “I just can’t live here being reminded-...” you can’t finish. Marcus looks to the ground  nodding, 

“Right, right.”

You walk towards a pile of what looks like miscellaneous items, “I just don’t know how to divvy this stuff,” you explain motioning to the pile.

Marcus takes a closer look at the pile and understands the pile, it’s items you got together. Most were pretty material except one, on the side lay a folded blanket, the fleece tie blanket the two of you made together. Each of you picked a fleece pattern and then the two of you sat on the living room floor and laid them out atop each other, made the appropriate cuts and lastly, tied them together. The blanket would find its home as a throw blanket on the couch that the two of you often used when cuddling together during movie night, date night, or just because. That breaks Marcus’s heart, and it’s then that he takes in the four walls that he’ll never see again, the place that made him so happy, that this part of his life is ending. But he did this, he doesn’t have the right to be heartbroken, this was his decision, his choice. 

“Um I don’t think I need any of it,” he says quietly.

“Okay, well if you don’t want it I’m donating it, I’ve already taken what I need,”

“The blanket,” Marcus nearly yells, he says it so quickly like he was afraid it was gonna disappear before his eyes.

You notice there’s something in the tone of his voice but are too tired and broken to really care or process it. 

“Okay,” you say while handing it to him. 

Giving him the blanket fills you with heartbreak and relief. This was one of the items that hurt most to have to pack away and the pain it caused told you you couldn’t keep it. It not only held the memories of making it but the browsing of the fabric store together, Marcus choosing the most god-awful patterns he could find claiming it was his choice, the dozens of nights spent asleep on the couch after unintentionally falling asleep, and thousands of minutes spent under it. 

Marcus feels every one of those minutes through the threads. Minutes he didn’t think would end, certainly not so suddenly. As he runs his hands over the material the memories run through his mind, memories he assumed he’d continue making with you throughout your mortal lives.

“Is that all?” Your voice breaks him from his thoughts

‘You’ his brain thinks, “Uh no, that should do it.”

You nod. You have so many questions for him but the pain in your chest and hurt sob stuck in your throat won’t let you ask.  Was it something I did? Why wasn’t I enough? I tried so hard.  You knew asking wouldn’t help ease the pain no matter the answer he gave you, even if he apologized and ran into your arms the damage was already done. 

You quietly help Marcus take his stuff to his car. Emotionally you’re numb but your brain is screaming at you that this is the end. 

“Thanks,” Marcus breathes when you place the last of his things down.

“No problem,” you turn to walk away, returning to the four walls that allow you to cry in peace but turn back to him.

“Marcus?”

“Yeah?” he looks at you with hopeful eyes.

“I hope the two of you are happy,” you walk away before he can say anything or see the tears that fall. Marcus is left standing on the sidewalk with his things in his arms realizing he’s just made the biggest mistake of his life, and there's nothing he can do to fix it.

Taglist: @spideysimpossiblegirl @littlemisspascal @writer-darling @avengetheunnatural @currentobsessionrabbithole @harriedandharassed @alberta-sunrise @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @louderfortheback @trey-18 (also tagged those that were so kind about the first part!)

[insertdisc5]

Devlog #8: QA and Q&A

(all the screenshots i have left are spoilers. while i take more, have a meme)

Hello everyone! Welcome to this month’s devlog!

If you just stumbled upon this, I am Adrienne, also known as insertdisc5! I’m the developer, writer, artist, main programmer, etc of the game. The game being In Stars and Time, which is the next and final game in the START AGAIN series, following START AGAIN: a prologue (available here!).  You can find out more about In Stars and Time here!!! 

LET’S GET TO IT

With the game’s alpha finished, I didn’t do anything much worth talking about this month. QA is underway! I’m fixing bugs! I’m writing changelogs that say stuff like “At the hallway before that one room, getting to the edge 2+ times wont softlock anymore if you do it between the wall and a column”!!!! I’m also resting because September was a LOT!!! 

So, since I have very little to say, I asked people on Twitter to ask me questions, so I could answer them. Q&A time!

@ItsMeLilyV asks:

1. I really have been in love with monochrome & limited palette styles recently :3 How did you figure out the art style for ISAT? Are there any distinct challenges or walls you've run into? 

2. did you get to take any good naps. how would you rank the naps on a 10-pt scale

1. The TLDR is: it’s more fun to draw in black and white. And it’s faster. And it looks cool as hell!!!

I did run into some challenges especially when it came to UI- how do you draw the eye of the player to a selection, or something they need to interact with, when you can’t use an eye-catching color to draw them in?!? I ended up relying a lot on level design to do that… And animations, too, especially in the House where everything is frozen! Keeping a very limited palette also helps, I think I mostly used black, white, and maybe 5 shades of grey in between… It’s all about contrast! And not having a big muddy grey mess!!!

2. I got some good naps in, yeah. I’m a big fan of naps after lunch, so I eat, wait for the sleep to kick in, and sleep for 2-3 hours. Solid 8/10 naps. That’s heaven babes!!!

@gertritude asks:

I am curious about what your writing process is for the game!! Like, what is your planning process (if you have one) and how do you approach actually writing for it?

My writing process… It’s a little all over the place to be honest! 

I had the big strokes of ISAT figured out from beginning to end before I even finished the prologue, but then I had to really sit down a bunch of times and really figure out how to get from point A to point B. So it involved a lot of writing, and also rewriting, to Foreshadow some Cool Stuff. Also, early on I was really struggling with some plot points, so I sat down for a whole day and wrote down the entire plot from beginning to end, and tried to get really granular and write down those middle point A to point B things! If I didn’t know what would happen I just invented something on the spot! As long as the whole story was written!!! It took a while, but I’m really glad I did this, because this saved me a lot of time later on hehe

Apart from the big plot events, the smaller events that are conversations between the characters usually just come out of nowhere, like “ok I have a table here and I put cookies on it. How would everyone react?”. I try to strike a balance between “this is how people talk” and “does it say anything new about those characters”, whether it’s a character’s favorite food, or a nice foreshadowing moment that you’ll reread later and go “OH DAMN… ALL ALONG THIS WAS HERE…”

My big go-to technique to actually write is that every day 1. I decide I’m going to work for 15mn and I start a timer 2. I put my headphones on 3. I start my concentrate playlist, which is full of instrumental electro/dubstep/wub wub adjacent music 4. ????? 5. Writing accomplished. The 15mn goal is just because it’s easy to write for 15mn. I always write for longer, but I just need to get started with an easy goal!

@_blade0fgrass_ asks:

Is it hard coming up with such immaculate puns

I would like to thank punpedia from the bottom of my heart. And also google. Thanks punpedia thanks google!

@kayleighdotjpeg asks:

keeping spoilers in mind, who are your favorite characters to write? which character dynamics are your favorite? did any of them surprise you?

This is THE question. Thank you so much. 

I loved to write Siffrin (especially when they’re all depressed teehee), but Odile ended up being my Actual Favorite to write. Most characters are either 1. Full of secrets or 2. Pushovers and/or oblivious, so it’s very nice to have Odile be the one to say “Alright, enough of this. We will talk about the elephant in the room Right Now”. She’s very blunt and doesn’t care about anything and she is so useful as a plot device and I love her.

Siffrin and Odile is my favorite dynamic, followed closely by Siffrin and Loop! As for surprising character dynamics, I reaaaaally enjoyed writing Odile and Isabeau… I didn’t get to write them often, but they are so fun to write together. Please ask me this question again once the game comes out so I can say more.

@novvclutchmate asks:

How do you go about finding a balance between levity and seriousness? Would you say your story tips more in one direction than the other; if so, was it on purpose and why?

What a good question! Hmm, for me and my writing style personally, it’s less about finding a balance, and more that One Cannot Exist Without The Other. It’s like adding sweetness to a savory dish- adding them together elevates the whole thing!!! 

If I have a serious scene, I like to add some levity to kind of bring the characters back to earth. I don’t know about you, but when I have a serious conversation for too long, I automatically laugh or tell a joke to break the tension! I get uncomfortable when it’s too serious! It’s normal! I’m normal!!!! It’s also a way for the audience to breathe out- don’t worry player, we’re good! We’re back to the usual stuff! Plus, I find that funny scenes right after a serious emotional scene hit harder.

As for seriousness to levity, I think it’s fun when you have a funny slice of life scene and then the story reminds you that this scene is Serious Actually. Like having everyone talking happily and the narrator saying  “it makes you sad when your friends keep repeating the very same lines every time.” :)

ISAT tips more towards levity I’d say, because of the reasons listed above! If you’re used to funny cute scenes and then I give you a Serious Emotional scene it makes you go Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

@gala_ksyz

is there any words youd like to tell aspiring/young indie devs?

Just make the dang thing!!! Stop putting it off!!! Just do it!!! Buy a simple game maker thing like rpgmaker or renpy or whatever and make the thing!!! Yes it’ll take time!!! Yes it won’t be as good as you imagined in some ways!!! Yes making games is hard!!! But you gotta just do it!!! It’ll be so much better than you imagined in other ways!!! It’ll be real!!! You’re the only one who can make it!!! It’s yours!!! It comes from your heart!!! It IS your heart!!! No one else can make it but you!!! So just make the dang thing!!! I believe in you!!! JUST MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s all I have to say for today! Let me know if you have any questions, or if there’s any aspect of the game development struggle you’d like me to talk about! See you next time!!!

AND DON’T FORGET TO WISHLIST THE GAME ON STEAM ALSO IT REALLY HELPS BECAUSE STEAM’S ALGORITHM IS MORE LIKELY TO SHOW OFF GAMES WITH A HIGH AMOUNT OF WISHLISTS THAT’S THE REASON WHY GAME DEVS ALWAYS ASK TO WISHLIST!!! OKAY BYE!!!!

[channiesposts]

bang chan nsfw alphabet

felt like i wanted to do smth like this bc i’m stressed and sad abt life and i think writing helps me not think abt the bad things in life <3 lmk if you want this w other members, bad things are constantly happening so i’ll have enough inspiration lmaoo <3333

don’t think i’m gonna add a warning but obvi mdni!! thank u <3

a - aftercare

chan is such a softie, i am too just for him. no matter how rough he gets, he’ll make sure you’re properly cleaned up, hydrated, and calm before letting you go to sleep. this guy is the sweetest person ever, his aftercare will be reflective of that.

b - body part (their face body part of theirs & their partners)

his favorite body part of his is probably his arms or abs. he works hard on them, he’s proud of them. his fave body part on his partner would probably be…everything. idk man, i think he wouldn’t be able to choose just one part he likes about you. if anything, he’d probably say your eyes. or your ass.

c - cum (anything to do with cum)

i’m glad that everyone here makes things abt chan having a breeding kink bc that is it! i feel as if he doesn’t really care much about cum. his own, specifically. he’ll cum anywhere. and he won’t mind if he’s just cum inside you or in your mouth. he’ll still eat you out / kiss you.

d - dirty secrets

i feel like his biggest dirty “secret” is his breeding kink. he knows that it’s smth not a lot of people enjoy. i think his biggest “secret” though is that he has a special little photo album of pictures of you that he jerks off to. he’s also a big pillow guy iykyk

e - experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i saw someone say that he isn’t necessarily experienced but i think he has a good amount of experience. not tooooo much, but he has enough experience to know what he’s doing. he’s a quick learner as well, so he’ll experiment doing something once and get the hang of it. he fs knows what he’s doing.

f - favorite position

missionary. he loves doing other positions as well, but he’ll always somehow come back to missionary. he loves just looking at you, especially when he’s fucking you just how he likes. he also does like it when you’re on top, especially in the studio.

g - goofy (are they more serious in the moment or are they more humorous)

chan has his moments. since sex is such an intimate experience, and considering how rough he can get, it’ll mostly be a bit more serious, but there are times where it’s a little more giggly.

h - hair (how well groomed are they?)

fuck it if i knew, he doesn’t really care about hair ig.

i - intimacy (how are they during the moment? romantic aspect)

this man has had casual one night stands and i stand by that! but, he does like it to be a little more romantic. he’d prefer to have an actual connection w someone but a man’s got needs.

j - jack off

busy busy people have to rely on themselves sometimes. he does it a moderate amount, especially when you’re not around.

k - kink (one or more of their kinks) ((all giving))

we’ve got the breeding kink down. feel like he’s into choking, perhaps sadism (very very slightly). feel like he’s into a bit of humiliation. he’s got a vvv dirty mouth. idk, these are the first ones to come to mind.

l - location (favorite places to do the deed)

in your apartment. he likes to take his time w u most times, so he’ll want to do it somewhere more private, where he can’t actually take his time.

m - motivation (what turns them on and gets them going?)

anything you do turns him on. i saw a post once about how chan loves manicures and painted nails and i think that’s smth that needs to be talked about more. he sees you got a manicure and immediately, no matter how ashamed he is of that though, thinks abt how your manicured hands would look around his cock. he also loves seeing you in crop tops. honestly, he gets turned on by the littlest things you do. you can look at him and he’ll want to fuck you into next week.

n - NO (something they wouldn’t do, ever)

don’t think he’s that into piss stuff. idk the name for it but we know what i mean. tbh, besides that, i don’t think there’s not much he wouldn’t be willing to try at least once. he’ll try it once, decide it’s not for him, and move on.

o - oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill)

prefers giving. he just love seeing what his mouth can do for you. he loves receiving, he loves seeing you on your knees for him, having him just the way you can. but there’s smth abt having you lay there while he’s pleasuring you. seeing your face, seeing the way you squirm, the way you chant his name over and over again. saw somebody once say he’s a pleasure dom and i will die on that hill as well.

p - pace (are they fast or rough? slow and sensual?)

he can be both. he has those days where he will be rougher, will make you call him daddy, will edge you for hours. but he also has days where he just wants to show you that he loves you. he’ll be much more gentle, constantly kissing your face, holding you, and telling you he loves you whenever he catches his breath.

q - quickie (their opinion on quickies, how often)

busy busy people have to rely on quickies sometimes. he’s always so consumed with work and the way they’ve been working, it doesn’t allow him to spend as much time with you as he would like. i don’t think he’s that into public sex, etc but he will drag you into the nearest closet or bathroom and take out his frustrations that way.

r - risks (will they experiment? do they take risks?)

definitely experiments. definitely takes risks. it def takes a couple of times to get him to fully take risks but once he gets there, he will make you dizzy w all the suggestions he has.

s - stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he’s learned to control himself so he can cum with you, after he edged you for hours. he can last a long long time. it depends on his mood, when it comes to how many rounds he can go. some days, he’s down for one, two rounds. some days, he can go for what seems like hours and hours and hours.

t - toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

don’t think he has any toys he uses himself. but if you have toys, he’ll be more than happy to use them on you. won’t do a lot with them but will definitely bring them out once in a while.

u - unfair (how much they like to tease)

i live and breathe the bang chan being a tease agenda. he teases on his lives, who’s to say it doesn’t bleed into his actual life? he teases a LOTTT. sometimes it’ll be for what feels like hours, bc it probably has been. he loves edging you and will continue his teasing until he feels like you’ve had enough. or when he’s had enough and he needs to find his own release.

v - volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

i don’t think he’ll be the loudest person but you’ll definitely hear him groan and moan a handful of times in one night. usually just heavy breathes. he knows it drives you insane when he groans right in your ear so, position permitting, he will definitely lean down to let out the loudest grown right by your ear.

w - wild card

jealousy sex with chan. i will not explain any further.

no but he isn’t the type to get jealous but the days that he does see somebody get a bit too close to you or whatever else, he will fs show you exactly how he feels during the night.

he’ll make sure you wear that pretty little butt plug while he viciously pounding into you. he’ll be saying all sorts of things under his breath before he flips you over. will take one look at you like that, spreading you apart and looking at what is his. a breathy laugh leaves his mouth.

“you really are my cockslut, aren’t you? letting me use all your holes, knowing you love every bit of it”

x - xtra piece of imagination

dirty talk with him gets a hell of a lot dirtier when he’s about to cum. will be saying all sorts of things.

“want me to fuck you full, yeah? gonna take every single bit of me. fuck, look at this baby. look at how you’re taking me in.”

y - yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he’s in his mid 20’s so it’s calmed down a lot but it’s hard to be around you, see you looking like that, and not want to do something with you.

z - zzz (how quickly they fall asleep after)

my insomnia twin 🙌🏼 jk but i think he’d fall asleep after you fall asleep. he makes sure you’re comfortable before he even thinks about sleep. in the meantime though, he is rubbing your back and making sure you’re at ease, hydrated, and just feel good.

edit : x is originally x ray but i didn’t feel comfortable with saying how “big” he is and all that. ik my blog is all about talking abt how much of a whore i am for bang chan but i personally have a limit and i think it’s talking about how big he is. i’ve written stuff about him fucking you into next week but i really do draw the line at like “oh how big is he” or “how many veins”. i’ll talk about him being “big” when it comes to a lil drabble but other than that, nope. idk if this boundary is reasonable or not but i just can’t see myself writing about it. sorry if this disappointed you :,(