#I just don't think it's a great idea to put all your eggs in one basket

[heckyeahponyscans]

The Licensing Letter has an article that includes an interesting interview with Claire Gilchrist, the Vice President of Hasbro.

You may recall that Hasbro's previous CEO, Brian Goldner, tragically died of cancer in 2020, so they have a new CEO, Chris Cocks.

“We are really going through a transformation,” Gilchrist told me, as she was flanked by gigantic Peppa Pigs and Transformer characters at the Hasbro booth. “Since the arrival of Chris Cocks as our new CEO about 14 months ago, we have undertaken a very significant, deep dive into which brands we should be focused on. “So we’re really driving what Chris calls a ‘fewer, bigger, better’ strategy. The idea is let’s focus on the smallest set of core brands, which means we can grow them to be much bigger and better brands. And we’ve selected eight brands and we want to make all of them billion dollar US brands.”

The eight core brands are Transformers, My Little Pony, Peppa Pig, Dungeons & Dragons, NERF, Magic: The Gathering, Play-Doh, and Hasbro Gaming / Monopoly.

The idea at Hasbro now is to focus on that smaller number of brands that is clearly getting the most bang for the buck, and to veer away from the brands that are less successful, even while they burn up money and staff time. Gilchrist says everyone at Hasbro understands that the most important job is to create a strong story around each brand, so the company is not so much selling a product as it is extending aspects of the story line to a fan base.

Very interesting. I have mixed feelings on this. On the one hand, I agree that storytelling is more important than ever in selling toys, especially since kids get out of toys younger than ever (and into digital instead).

On the other hand, how can they build new brands with this strategy?

[thebibliosphere]

I both believe "poor people deserve art" and "artists deserve food", but it's hard to reconcile those beliefs. I blame capitalism. And I suppose it mostly matters who you're stealing from?

I don't mean to question you at all, I'm against people pirating your stories. I guess I was just wondering if you had more thoughts regarding the reconciliation the two beliefs I quoted above.

I think the reconciliation is working toward a future where things are better, and authors and artists don't have to beg people not to steal from them because they think every author is Stephen King, who wouldn't notice if you stole the pennies found under his couch when in reality most of us are hunting for spare change down the back of the couch because we are earning below minimum wage.

We need people to embrace the idea that art belongs to the working class, both in terms of consumption but also creation.

If you don't support the working-class creators, you'll only end up with rich fucks with no scope of the world beyond their own narrow view of privilege.

Indie creators are actually working very hard to change the way the industry works, and the publishing industry is shitting itself over it. They don't like the success some of us are having. It's why they keep upping prices while slashing corners on their own production (while never affecting the man at the top) to try and stay competitive within the rat race they've created.

They're not interested in the proliferation of art. They're not interested in making sure their authors can afford to live. They don't want more diversity. They don't want inclusion. They want profit at whatever the cost.

And while indie creators very much need to get paid because we live in a capitalistic society and everything is burning down around us, and a carton of eggs now costs more than what I earn per hour, our creativity is directly at odds with the type of profiteering big publishers want.

The money should go to the writers. Not the CEOs. The money should go to the workers in the print houses. Not the CEOs. No one needs the kind of wealth these people have. It's obscene. We need direct action against these conglomerates. We need unionization. We need a means to fight back so that we can make art and make it accessible.

So, how do we do that? I don't know. I'm just a very tired, disabled creator doing my best to keep my head above water. But I think getting people to realize that art and books are worth saving up for would be a good start.

That putting money in the pockets of creators is just as important as your own enjoyment of their art. Because if there aren't any artists, you've got nothing.

Getting them involved with their local libraries would also be a great start. Educating them on how the industry works is part of that. The number of people telling me they had no idea libraries paid authors is staggering. And that's intentional. It's a by-product of right-wing propaganda to make you think libraries are worthless and just sap taxpayers' money.

They're not.

If they were, the fash wouldn't be trying so hard to take them away.

Basically, we need working-class solidarity and for certain people on the left to rid themselves of the idea that just because something isn't borne of manual labor, it doesn't have worth. We need the artists and the dreamers as much as we need to bricklayers and the craftsmen. Otherwise, what's the fucking point of it all?

[fl4r3z]

"𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬, 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬."

(𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜, 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫?)

𝐘𝐮𝐮𝐭𝐚 (ゆうた) 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Smut MDNI!!, Fingering, Afab! Reader, P in V, Blood, Vaginal Sex, Yuta eating Reader out, Yuta cumming inside, Dead body, Cannibalism, Dismembered body parts (not readers), Yuta is his own warning, Jealous! Yandere! Yuuta.

𝐀/𝐍: Now, please let me know if i missed any warnings! I tried making this days ago but got mad cause i couldn't make the text centered... Here it is!!!

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭? 𝐘𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐞𝐬.

You've been dating Yuta for over a week now. Right now, you're outside of his apartment, waiting for him to open up as you rang the door bell. He didn't know you were coming over today, nor was he prepared. You plan on making it a suprise to make it more romantic, right?

Yuta got the door and he was surprised to see you on his doorstep.

"(Name)? I thought we talked about how i was going to your apartment later in to the day?" Yuta is now looking at you with a confused look.

"Well...i got impatient because you know..! It's you we're talking about!" You said excitingly as you went inside his apartment and plopped into his couch, acting like you were home. "Sorry, did i disturb you?"

"No, of course not! I'm happy to see that you're here! " Yuta exclaims as he walks over to you. Well inside he just knows that he's so happy that you were beside him. So, so, so happy. "I was trying to catch up on my cooking skills but, eh.. i tried cooking fried egg and well.... Please don't mind the mess. "

You giggled. "Is that why it's that messy in here?" You're now looking at him slightly giggling. You weren't entirely sure what to do now that you're in his house—you were just waiting for his reponse or waiting till he gets an idea of what to do.

"Well- Yeah..you should've atleast let me knew you were going- it's embarrassing for you to see the mess i made..." He feels humiliated, who knows why? Maybe he's just so shy that even his apartment being messy leads him to a blushing mess.

You absolutely think he looks so, so cute flustered and red.— "Do you think we should...go to the cafe? It's a new one, just right across here. " Yuta asked. " And to also avoid my messy apartment! Eheh.. " It was starting to sound confusing on why he hates seeing the mess on his apartment so much. Maybe he just thinks it's humiliating? Right? WRONG.

"Great idea! Yuta you're amazing when it comes to planning! You should definitely just plan out my whole life" You laugh while trying to put your shoes on.— Yuta on the other hand, he'd definitely love planning out your whole life. He'd love you obeying all his orders. Everything. He didnt think it was a bad idea generally, he thought it was the best.

As you guys stepped outside, you both started walking through the sidewalk. "Hmm, what do you usually order in cafe's, Yuta?" You looked at him.

"Well, i like trying out different things. Usually to find out which is best, so anything sounds good!" He knew you'd offer him your favorite, he wanted to know it. So that he could pin it to his headboard and get it for you everyda—.

"You should definitely try out (favorite coffee/order)! It tastes absolutely amazing!" You said happily. He knew it, you were gonna tell him your favorite. Now he has a new favorite drink.

If you search up on the internet "people who decides with other persons decisions" you'd see a picture of Yuta if you clicked images. Yuta thinks that whatever you like, he must like. Even if he has to force himself into doing it. That's just how much he loves you!

You guys entered the cafe, and the smell of coffee filled both of yours noses. You both picked a seat, got each others orders, and you went to the cashier.

Yuta was following you with his eyes everywhere you go. Eventually, you end up into the cashier, handing over the orders.— Yuta didn't fail to notice that the cashier who was talking to you was, a guy. Now, that definitely brought up something from inside of him.

He knows why he's acting like this, and was trying to secure himself to not kill him infront of you. Of course! Who wants to see someone you love with your whole heart kill someone infront of you, right?! That would definitely ruin everything.

It's been 6 minutes. He was glaring bullets into the persons head. He's mad, especially now that he noticed that the person was hitting up on you. You eventually got back to your seat, you didn't fail to notice that Yuta was looking down at the table.

"Yuta? Are you okay? Did something happen?" You asked him, slightly tapping his shoulder.

"The guy, was he hitting up on you?" He asked, trying to contain his anger. But he probably didn't do it correctly, cause you knew he was mad.

"Yes he was, but Yuta, you don't have to worry! I rejected him and told him i already had someone..he even wrote his number on the recei-" You stopped when Yuta grabbed the receipt off your hands. Leaving you with a shocked impression.

That was what happened 2 days ago, when everything wasn't wrong yet.

In front of you, was the persons dead body. Inside of Yuta's kitchen, it was dark, only the light of the kitchen was glimming, the rest were off. His hands, legs, and arms were gone. Everything was a bloody view. It was horrifying.

Behind you was Yuta, he was giggling and speaking like all these, were normal to him. You were horrified, you were trembling.

"See (Name)....? This is what happens when someone other than me gives you attention. Have you learned..?" he was approaching you, your heart was pounding so fast. You were scared. "Please, don't be scared! I won't do anything to you!"

You were silent, not letting a single word drop. He approached you, hugging you from behind. "You love me, right? Right (Name)?"

Silence.

"Of course! D-dont hurt me..please...I promise, i love you, Yuta!" You weren't lying though, you loved Yuta. Even if he just killed someone.

"G-great! I love you too, (Name).." he started slipping the strap of your dress from your shoulders. "And, if i ever find out that you're lying..Then," he pulled a sharp knife. "I'll kill you, okay? So you better not be lying..it would be a shame to kill someone like you."

You felt cold sweat running down your neck. Just from the tone of his voice, he doesn't seem like he was lying. "Yes, i promise, i love you.."

"Then you'd let me help you prove that it's true?" He said whilst reaching for your tits, now he doesn't care if it was big or not, he would love groping it.

"... Yes."

Now you were laying on his couch, naked. He was sucking your tits like a baby who was starved. Playing with the other nipple, flicking it and squeezing it.

"Will you give me all of you?" He was on top of you, his voice was low but was loud enough for the both of you to hear. You could feel his erection as he pressed his body on you. He wanted, no, he needed to hear your response.

Your legs were in heat and you were sweating so hard.

"yes, please..just please... " You muttered into his touch.

"See, you dont need anyone else. You only need me, I'll give you everything. Everything you need." His voice was hitching.

You felt his mouth onto your neck to your lower abdomen, giving you trails of kisses. He positioned himself between your legs, raising one leg then diving his mouth into your pussy, earning a loud gasp from you.

"Holy shit, Yuu..." You throw your head back from the pleasure.

Now all his stalking ability would be used. The way he'd watch you from your window, fingering yourself, doing all sorts of things to relieve yourself. He knows everything, from how to make you overstimulated, how to make you orgasm, and on how long you'd last.

He pulls away from your pussy, his mouth and chin covered in your slick. "You taste so good, (Name).."

He rhen positioned you near the couches hand guide, earning a suprised gasp from your lips.—He then unzips his pants, pulling his aching hard dick. You couldn't help but think on how that would've fit you! It was wayyy bigger than any other you'd saw.

"Don't worry (Name).. it'll fit.. I'll make it fit." Yuta murmured. He directed his tip on the entrance of your hole, pressing it. He puts his index finger in mouth.

Yuta carefully puts his dick inside your pussy, earning a breathy moan from you.

"s'tight (Name).." He starts pulling it out, then pushes it in again, and again, and again! You swear you could feel it growing inside of you. It just felt too good.

"g'nna mold your pussy, yeah?" He sounds like his voice was about to give up. He's so painfully hard for you. "(Name) pleaseplease" you could hear him starting to moan and whimper.

You were a moaning mess, covered in sweat, and your whole body was heating. You felt like you were about to orgasm any second now. It just felt so amazing, he's rutting himself so hard and fast inside you.— You bet your insides were bruised by the next day.

"Holy shit Yuu!" You were slowly feeling your orgasm chase closely.

"g'nna cum (Name)..!" Yuta was whimpering beyond this point, he couldn't tell what was going on anymore, his brain was dead. All he could think about was ruining you and fucking you so deep that he'd cum inside and paint your walls.— "S'close" was the only thing you could hear from him.

"g'nna cum inside you, yeah? Pleaseplease let me (Name)!" Yuta begs you with a high pitched voice.

"pleasepleaseplease!" He cums inside. You were both panting, sighing, and breathing so heavily. Yuta pressed his lips onto yours, sharing saliva's.

"(Name)..could you help me hide the body..?" Yuta asked you willingly and nervous.

"What?! What if we get caught?? We're going to ja-" Yuta cuts you off.— "Don't worry about that now!" He places the body into an abnormally huge sack.

"where's the other body parts?!?" You asked him nervously and scared. — " well uhm.. " he hums.

"well?!"— "(Name),— do you remember the pie that i gave you?"

You felt yourself about to vomit.

©fl4r3z all projects belong to me.

[randomhealer]

⇢ ˗ˏˋTaking care of a tamagotchi together ࿐ྂ

writing this since 3am and now it's five, unreviewed, neutral reader

~♡

Malleus Draconia

Malleus is a needy father... he already has a tamagotchi so as soon as you found out about this you automatically became the tamagotchi's mother/father along with him.

Malleus is so happy that his little virtual pet has someone else to take care of him along with Malleus, Malleus also uses this to spend more time with you, you are like a little family...

He will also demand that you spend time with the Tamagotchi, claiming that the pet misses you and feels neglected, he will get upset and pout if you don't spend time with him and the Tamagotchi.

There would definitely be another tamagotchi if you let him have one...like a little brother or sister for your tamagotchi...

but he is content with just one while you take care of him with him there is nothing else that would make him happy.

Jade Leech

Jade just looked at you with his usual smile as you explained about the virtual pet for him to take care of for you before saying a light "oya? if you wanted a child just ask me to make one with you-oh? don't you want to?" It's okay, I was just joking" but after giving him the tamagotchi, he seems to take seriously the idea of ​​being you tamagotchi's father.

all the time he keeps the little thing away from Floyd, feeds him only healthy food, always bathes him and leaves the tamagotchi playing in the virtual park while he works on Lounge, after he comes back he gives the tamagotchi another bath and puts him to bed, Even though it's a virtual pet, he takes care of it as if it were real. After he gives you the tamagotchi back he explains everything that happened, what he ate and what he did, after that he will always take care of your virtual pet if you ask, occasionally you will have discussions about what would be healthy for the "child" of you or not (you saying that the tamagotchi needs to eat more sweets than mushrooms and fruits)

"too much sweets can end up giving them a stomach ache, you know I only want the best for our baby, besides I know you keep feeding him cakes every time you take care of him..." Jade says while talking to you at Mostro Lounge, smiling when he saw you trying to explain yourself.

...Meanwhile, Azul accidentally overheard this little part of the conversation and spent a week thinking about how he was going to ask Jade if he has a child with you or something...

Deuce spade

Deuce was more than happy when you gave him the tamagotchi, he looks at you with those eyes saying 'I'll be the best father in the world, I won't disappoint you' but he ends up forgetting about the tamagotchi and letting him starve to death the same day.

Poor boi...He even took care of him in the first hours, gave him food, bath and affection but the day went on and he was busy studying for a test, he went to the basketball club and even had extra classes with Divus... at the end of the day while he was almost asleep he was scared and remembered the virtual pet... when he saw the dead pet on the screen he was scared and in shock, he didn't know they could die...

he was literally in shock as if he had broken an egg... (old reference lol)

but in the end he knows he wouldn't be able to sleep without telling you this, in the end when he tells you he's almost in tears as he apologizes to you, until you explain that everything was fine and that you could revive another tamagotchi...he stays relieved but still continues to apologize and promises to take better care next time.

(Later Trey and Cater find out about this and help him take care of his pet in the meantime Ace is just laughing in the background)

Floyd leech

Floyd got a little irritated when he saw that you were paying more attention to that thing than him when he came to visit you, so he did the great feat of throwing you Tamagotchi through ramshackle's window.

(just joking about Floyd's part, I was going to do something more detailed but all that comes to my mind is either him throwing the tamagotchi somewhere and forgetting or him trying to eat the poor tamagotchi and not being able to and getting angry about it and ending up breaking lol, I was finally going to sleep but I couldn't without getting it out of my mind... Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it)

[steviebears]

Could you do an Eddie munson x reader smut where the reader is Joyce’s daughter and Joyce finds out they have been having sex and is worried about her because she has only heard bad things about Eddie through Johnathan and will

omg 🥺this is so cute anon thank you!

edit: i just realized you wanted smut IM SORRY

GENRE: fluff, we all need it

WARNING: fem!reader, implied smut, protective Jonathan

Joyce watches, shocked, as the long haired boy falls from your window, buckling his belt with a dazed smile on his way out to leave in his beat up van.

She knew you were grown now, and even though you were the eldest of her children, your choices still worried her. Especially after what Jonathan said.

Joyce was acting odd the next morning. You had left early for work so she was left with Jonathan for a late breakfast.

"What is it mom, you've been staring at your eggs with that look on your face for the past five minutes." Jonathan questions her, taking another bite of potatoes.

"I saw the weirdest thing last night and I just don't know what to make of it." Jonathan perks up at that. Considering the things known to happen in this town, he was interested.

"What did you see?"

"Well, I don't know if I should say." She cared about your privacy, she really did, but maybe Jonathan knew something about this mystery boy. Jonathan just gives her a 'tell me' look, and she breaks.

"I saw a boy leaving Y/n's bedroom window last night." Jonathan drops his fork.

"What?" Despite being your younger brother, the boy was pretty protective of you.

"Who was it?" He straightens his posture.

"I don't know! Some guy, long hair and he left in this old van." Jonathan shut his eyes, instantly knowing who it was. He knew you two had been friendly in the past, and he certainly did not approve.

"It's Eddie Munson." Jonathan sighs, rubbing his eyes. Now, Jonathan would never interfere with your life. He had his worries just like any brother, but you were an adult and he knew he shouldn't say anything to you. That didn't apply to Joyce, though. Jonathan told Joyce about Eddie, most of the things he'd heard about the guy. He tried to put it lightly but there isn't exactly a good way to say he was a drug dealer.

Will was a different story. He thought Eddie was cool, but even he wouldn't approve of him dating his own sister.

Joyce stood by your door contemplating what to say. Eventually she knocked.

"Y/n?" She called out.

"Uh- yeah one second mom!" You and Eddie immediately broke away from eachother, looking at one another in panic before you instructed him to get in your closet.

"Okay come in!" She opens the door gently and shuts it behind her, making you nervous. Did you do something wrong? She sits on your bed next to you, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

"I wanted to talk to you about... something I saw the other night." She shifts in her spot and avoids eye contact.

"There was a boy- Eddie Munson? I saw him leaving your bedroom window and you know, looked like you two were getting... pretty close." Your face gets hot as you remember that night, the fact that your mom was talking to you about this was immensely embarrassing especially in front of Eddie. You could practically see his smile from behind the closet door.

"And I just don't think it's a great idea, neither does Jonathan. This guy he's- not exactly a golden boy I hear?" You were going to kill Jonathan for ratting out Eddie.

"Mom, trust me. He and I- we trust each other and I know he would never hurt me. Jonathan would kill him if he did, you know that." You were right and Joyce knew she had to loosen the reins.

"Okay. But, you guys are being safe right? Because the last thing you need is-" You can almost hear Eddie's snickering and the hot feeling in your face is killing you.

"Yes! Yes, mom." She smiles and looks like she remembers one more thing.

"Oh, but make sure you go pee after because-" At that, a fit of commotion is heard from the closet. She looks there, then back at you. She gives you a 'is he here?!' look and gets up. Joyce is very surprised to see a tall lanky man with crazy hair fall out of the closet.

"Jesus Y/n!" She looks at you with a mom look and back to Eddie who was desperately trying to bite back his smile. It didn't work and his pearly whites were on full display.

"Use the front door next time. No more sneaking in." She sighs as you have your smiling face in your hands.

"Yes ma'am." He says before laughing, causing her to roll her eyes- the smallest of grins on her face.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES *  assorted dialogue for eerie situations, adjust as necessary 👻

where have you been? i've been looking all over for you.

where did you find that?

that wasn't here before.

that's it! i'm leaving!

i came back for you.

do you do this often?

if you didn't do it, who did?

i think we're being watched.

did that painting just move?

the locals say this place is haunted.

follow me, and stay quiet.

we need to get to the bottom of this.

something weird is going on.

i don't like the look of this.

this is the last time i listen to you.

i think you should see this.

there's no service in here.

where did it go? it was right here five seconds ago.

did you hear that?

this place is cursed.

they say someone died in here.

i'm not staying here another second.

do you smell something?

get in here! now!

we're supposed to be the only ones here.

those were footsteps.

someone else is here.

last one out's a rotten egg!

who made that noise?

i don't believe in that stuff.

the light's not working.

my battery is dead.

we should split up.

it's too late!

you came back for me?

is that blood?

no way. i'm not doing this alone.

we need to stick together.

hello? is anyone here?

i'm getting out of here!

the locals don't like this place.

looks like we're stuck here for the night.

that place looks creepy.

i don't like the look of this place.

who made that noise?

i don't believe in ghosts.

i'm getting the hell away from this place.

do you get the feeling we're being watched?

that's impossible.

i'm not going into the creepy basement alone.

what is wrong with you?

hurry! get inside!

there's no such thing as coincidences.

i'm not going first. you go.

any volunteers?

not sure we're supposed to be here.

come on! it'll be fun!

remind me never to come with you.

the door's locked! we're trapped!

hide! in here!

no way. i'll stay right here.

you keep watch.

i can't take another second of this.

are you thinking what i'm thinking?

when did this happen?

it's getting dark. we should camp here for the night.

i've heard stories about this place.

i'm not sticking around to find out.

this is bad. this is very bad.

i thought i lost you!

we need to put an end to this.

do you believe in ghosts?

we shouldn't have come here.

let's try the back door!

oh great. a creepy basement.

you go first.

this was your idea.

i don't want to die!

don't be such a scaredy cat.

where does this door lead?

come out, come out, wherever you are!

how did i let you drag me into this?

remind me never to come back.

that was quick thinking.

so that's it?

nothing's going to happen! trust me!

i can't believe you talked me into this.

you owe me big time.

they told me to stay away.

this isn't what i signed up for.

you never told me this would happen.

trust me. i'll get us out.

i think we're stuck.

[floydira]

back at it again at Krispy Kreme.

Hello again!! It's me the silly anon (☆—(≧⁠▽°)★~) I have another request. I was kinda thinking about another Floyd x transmasc reader one shot idea and I thought to myself "hey! Wouldn't it be could if they had a egg (baby) together?" :3.

This doesn't have to be NSFW/smut at all and you don't have to do this if you're uncomfortable with it (obvi, I don't think I can force you into writing this (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ). Anyway, thank you!!!!! - anon ☆—(≧⁠▽°)★~

(p.s. I loved the other fic, it was great :3)

₊˚﹒✶﹒Taking Care Of Our Own .ᐟ

floyd having a baby with transmasc reader.

heads up! established relationship, usage of endearment terms, parenthood & a baby.

note ; hello silly anon!! this was a cute request. ngl this was kind of hard for me bc I don't really experience writing about parent stuff 😭 but I tried my best. I might make a continuation of this with the relationship between floyd and the reader with the baby and their dynamic, if you want.

floyd woke up with a mixed coloured egg in his hair, he was surprised at first.

he immediately talked to you about the egg, how excited but nervous he was and was eager to hear your viewpoint about it.

"we're having a baby! It would be so pleasant to take care of our own baby, but I'm so nervous. what if I mess up?" he said to you.

"I'm sure you won't, love. you've already done a good job loving me and taking care of me, I'm sure you'll do a good job for our baby too. plus, you won't be alone! I'll be right here with you, along the way. we can do this!" you reassure him while holding his hands.

"you're right. it's funny, I'm usually the one who says stuff like that yet you're the one saying my things back to me. thanks, honey." he gives you a warm smile as he leans in to hug you, a little tighter than usual. you take notice of that and pat his back gently.

It's been a few days since floyd first woke up with the egg in his hair. he hasn't informed any of his brothers yet about his situation. for now, only you and him know. he says he's saving it to tell when the egg finally hatches.

you were both doing your own stuff. with you cooking and floyd writing inside his journal.

you call floyd over to eat as you've finished cooking. he comes in and sits down across from you.

while you both ate, you decided to ask,

"so when's the egg gonna hatch anyway? do you have any idea?"

"not really, hun. I'm not too sure about it eith–" he gets cut off by the sound of something.

"Is that the egg?" you ask him.

floyd puts his hand in his hair and brings the egg out. lo and behold, the egg is moving– or well– shaking.

"oh gosh, it's happening!" floyd exclaims.

you both watch the egg shaking as it slowly cracked, your baby pops out!

it has traits from both you and floyd mixed together.

you suddenly hear sobs coming from floyd. you tear your eyes away from the baby that floyd is cradling to look up at him. his eyes filled with tears, happy tears.

you chuckle lightly, "oh, you baby..." you say to him as you wipe his tears away.

both of your hearts were warm and filled with joy as you stared at your own little baby that just hatched.

━━━━━━━━━━

It's been a week since your baby hatched from the egg. only now have you and floyd invited his brothers, along with poppy.

"oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" poppy screams excitedly. she's playing with the baby's tiny hands and fingers, talking to it in a baby voice.

"It's so cute! agh, you guys made the cutest baby I've ever seen!" poppy remarks, while cradling the baby in her arms.

"well, of course, it came from me and floyd. two hotties together make a cute baby." you state playfully, with a subtle wink towards floyd. floyd only giggles with his cheeks slightly heated.

"have you guys named it yet?" john dory asks.

"nope, but we're thinking about it." floyd answers.

"ooh! ooh! name suggestions! how about indigo, or eden?!" poppy suggests, bouncing lightly.

"what about haven? it has a nice touch to it." branch spoke.

"what do you think, hun?" floyd turns to you, with a smile visible on his face.

you thought deeply about it, "I think haven does have a nice ring to it." you affirmed.

you notice branch subtly light up from you considering his suggestion.

"ooh, bummer...I wanted my one to be picked." poppy mutters to herself.

"have you already prepared yourself for parenthood, floyd?" bruce asks.

floyd chuckles awkwardly, "to be honest, not really, but I think I'll manage."

bruce pats floyd on the shoulder, "if you need any advice, you know who to go to."

bruce gives him a singular finger gun.

"if your kid wants to visit putt putt village sometime, feel free to come." clay states

"will do, clay, will do." floyd replies.

after a while of conversing and hanging out, with some of them playing with your baby, floyd's brothers, along with poppy finally leave your humble abode, leaving you and floyd alone together. with the baby, of course.

"you thinking what I'm thinking" you say to floyd while moving your eyebrows up and down mischievously.

floyd rolls his eyes and shakes his head while grinning like a lovesick fool in denial playfully as a nonverbal reply to what you said. he hugs the baby closer in his arms and intertwines his hands in yours.

[llamagoddessofficial]

For the baker boys, what if reader tried out a new recipe one day and just absolutely butchered it. Destroyed. Came out awful. And this isn’t the first time. She’s tried to get this right so many times and simply can’t seem to get the hang of it. I can see sans “teaching” her how but really just flexing, red teasing, and skull eating it and straight up lying to her face that it’s good.

Funnily enough, it's not unusual for Mc to try a recipe and completely fuck it up. She just isn't blessed with the gift of baking.

Sans: He's generally more accepting of the fact that baking just isn't her strong suit. She appreciates his honest approach, he doesn't try to turn her into something she's not. He can always tell how she's feeling about her attempt at cooking ending so terribly, and he responds appropriately- when she's not bothered about it and clearly finds it all funny, he cracks jokes and pretends to die from eating it, making her laugh until she's crying. But when she's genuinely upset that yet another cake came out underbaked, cracked or burnt, flat or misshapen, generally inedible... he's calm. He doesn't quip or push.

... Usually, he asks her to make him a complicated coffee. Pulling it off flawlessly makes her feel a lot better.

Red: He's one of those bakers who can look at her failed creation and instantly know what she did wrong. She has no idea how he tells so quickly. A single glance, and he's got her all figured out. "you opened the oven while it was cooking, didn't you?" "... Y-yeah. Just once..." "doll. that takes all the air outta it." Unlike Sans' more 'live and let live' approach, Red does his best to teach her some tips and tricks if he can tell she's open to it at that moment. Don't open the oven while it's baking, wait until your ingredients are room temperature, put a lil' drop of lemon in your eggs to make the meringue whip faster... Red's got the magic touch of someone who knows exactly what he's doing. When they cook together, she's much less flustered and confused, and everything winds up great. Plus, baking is a perfect time to flirt.... though if he says 'nice buns' again he might get a spatula to the jaw.

Skull: It's a real effort to get Skull to not eat what she bakes. When she makes something crap, she has to either hide it or literally run for it, because Skull will have some. She doesn't understand why he'll turn down nice store sandwiches to eat whatever hot garbage she pulled out of the oven.

... There's a few reasons. A big one is not wanting to waste food. But honestly, it's mostly because he really does like what she makes. Her cakes, though not exactly a visual treat, are full of her emotions and labour. He loves her so much, and her food is like an extension of her. It doesn't matter how bad it tastes because as soon as he chews it he feels warm knowing it's hers.

... He also wants to show her that no matter how bad she thinks it is, just because it's imperfect doesn't mean it's impalatable.

Someone will always like it.

[heartthrobin]

lovers, to bed: tis almost fairy time (4)

sam winchester x fairy!reader

wc: 4.0k

warnings: soulmate!au (partners share scars), fem!reader, limited use of y/n, implied age gap (reader is early 20's), angst, subby sam winchester (?), some smoking, canon warnings (child kidnapping, violence ect.)

an: i'm so sorry that this took so long, uni has put me in a really tough mental space at the moment and being creative has been so difficult. but i hope it was worth the wait! love you all endlessly

summary: yes, Sam Winchester was an idiot: but he would be damned if he was going to let his little fairy get away.

part one part two part three

The trunk clicked open, swinging up against the back window of the Impala.

Dean rummaged between the shotguns and the silver blades and the jugs of gasoline. His hand emerged with a wide set machete, holding it up to Sam.

"I've been dying to use this bad boy since Idaho." He grinned at his reflection in the steel blade.

Sam rolled his eyes, hair fluttering over his forehead where the evening wind was tugging on it. The Impala was parked up against the grass at the edge of the forest, the sun disappearing over the treetops in a way that sunk the town in a purple glow.

He reached in to grab a shotgun, a silver blade too: slipping it into his jacket pocket. "Right. Let's just get this over with."

His brother grinned, "So you can go see your little princess, hm?"

Sam didn't dignify him with a response. Mostly because he was right.

The weight of the truth draped over his shoulders like a truck. Stifling and making it hard to breath, let alone think.

Dean laughed at his lack of response, bumping his shoulder to his:

"Sammy's getting laid tonight." He sing-songed.

"Yeah, right. That's a great idea." He huffed, "Then she can see all my scars and realise I've been lying to her. Sounds fun."

Nudging the trunk closed, Dean groaned. "She's gonna find out either way."

"Not unless I don't tell her."

At that Dean paused. His eyes ran over Sam's figure where he was loading the shotgun.

"So when were done, we're just gonna leave town?"

Sam slammed the trunk shut with maybe a little too much force. "Can we drop it?"

Dean raised his hands in surrender. "Whatever. It's your problem, but I think she should know."

But Sam was already pacing towards the line of trees, huffing and trying to suffocate the guilt building in his chest.

The forest wasn't making it any easier. Dean was trailing behind him, every footstep crackling over the dry leaves and soft grass reminding him of your laugh. The dark bark of the black of your eyes, those eyes so wide and wet--

"Hey," Dean's voice cut through his thoughts. He motioned over between the trees. "Look."

There was the tree again. Glowing just like it had been the last time they'd ventured into the belly of the woods.

A crunch echoed around the space. Sam's head whipped over his shoulder, Dean reaching with a quickness that only came from experience for the gun in his holster:

"What was that?"

-

There was a teenager behind the counter when you plonked down a packet of sour worms and a tray of eggs in front of her.

She was usually the one who helped you when you'd stop in after work some days. She's cute in a sprightly way: piercings sticking out from every piece of skin she could get her hands on and she was one of the only people left in town who didn't scowl at you when you came in.

But she was looking at you funny just then, her hands still where they'd usually just reach to start scanning your things with a bored look on her young features.

"You've ... uh, got a ..." she'd motioned up to her own face, brushing a finger over her cheek.

Your hand came to pet your own face, drawing back with a palmful of blood. Shoulders sagging, you sigh. "Oh."

She leaned down under the counter, emerging with a handful of napkins and offering them to you. You smiled at her, "Thank you. It's, uhm, it's not mine."

The girl nodded like she already figured. She started to scan your eggs while you wiped down your cheek, napkins dissolving into a crimson lump. You wondered, for the millionth time, what your soulmate had gotten themselves into today.

There was a glass case enclosing some rotating hot dogs that you used to check your reflection: to probe gently at the thin cut you suspected was the work of a sharp blade, and when she handed you your bag, your face was mostly clean over where it was flush with embarrassment. Poor girl was already working late on a week night and you'd waltzed in looking like a scene from a horror movie.

You thanked her and she offered one last uninterested nod.

It was dark out already and you didn't feel as safe walking home as you once had but there was little option, and the corner store was less than a couple blocks from home.

The bag shuffled and your neck-full of crystals clinked as you walked. You hummed a song you'd had stuck in your head all afternoon, some playful tune you'd heard on the radio in the shop.

In the distance there was a crowd. The road overthrown with a flickering blue and red light from cop cars parked just further down and voices overlapped in loud chatter.

You frowned. "What ..."

As you neared your eyes find uniformed officers pushing back other curious onlookers. There was a news van parked there too: a man dressed in a smart suit speaking into a microphone at his chest and he's grinning-- "Yes, Arthur, I am here in Fernglade Washington with some amazing news for our viewers. Tonight, the town can rest a little easier--"

There was a loud sob that carries over heads and a woman was on her knees, jeans pressing into the concrete where she was clutching a child. She's shaking violently ... and she wasn't alone.

Behind her was another set of parents with a child ... and another, and another.

Your heart floated into your throat. There brewed a bubbling feeling in your chest, it's ... it's the children. The missing children.

You recognised Rachel and Georgia ... and Manny. Sure, they were a little dirty: with pale soil-ridden faces and torn Barbie t-shirts.

One, two, three -- you counted them with your eyes -- seven. They were all there.

The police had set up a barricade and you didn't even realise you'd dropped and crushed your eggs when you pressed against it. There's eyes on you, guilty eyes, and you could tell nearby officers were pretending not to look at you out the corner of their eyes.

But you couldn't be bothered with them, with the whispering crowd either, because you'd made out the outline of the Winchester brothers' backs talking down at a short police woman who was avidly writing against a tiny notebook.

You were grinning so hard it was hurting your cheeks and your eyes welled with the joy of the scene. They were all there. They were all okay, alive!

"Sam!' you leaned over the wooden barricade. It had to have been them, there was nobody else who believed you. Believed that the kids weren't locked up in the depths of a dungeon you didn't own.

A laugh was gurgling up from the depths of your throat and you felt where a tear slipped over the healing cut on your cheek. "Sam!"

Sam's head perked up, pausing mid-sentence when he turned those wide shoulders to the crowd, to you. His face lit up with shadows under the spectacle of coloured lights when his eyes found yours.

Your heart sunk from where it was sitting in your throat, slipping all the way to the deepest pit in your stomach.

Even under the harsh light and the cover of night it was impossible to miss the drying blood painting his face. Running down from a cut over his cheek. Your hand came to find your own jaw, eyes never leaving his, when you pressed up into the matching scar. It didn't hurt and even if it had, you wouldn't have felt it just then.

Sam's face was twisting with realisation. "Y/n--"

You tripped back over the edges of your skirt, knocking into the onlookers behind you-- "hey, watch it!"

Concrete reached up, scraping at your heels wedged into dainty sandals, but the hammering of your heart kept them moving. You broke out the crowd, oxygen leaning further and further out your grasp when you broke into a run.

"Y/n, wait!"

But you didn't stop.

Sam watched your silhouette shrink down the road, streetlights illuminating your escape. He gulped for breath, guilt choking him out: clogging his airways with thick sludgy shame.

"Sammy," a hand closed over his arm. "Come on--"

"Agent, we need to finish getting your statement."

Dean was leaning over his shoulder when he looked down. His eyes were sticky with sympathy.

The officer was lingering just a foot from him. She looked confused, gaze flickering between him and the now empty street.

"Dean ..." he turned to his only comfort. "She-- my face ..."

His brother nodded. "Yeah, I know. I know, Sammy."

He patted him. "Just give her some time to breath, okay? Let's finish here."

Every nerve-ending in his body was screaming at him to chase you down the street. To break through the nosy locals and crawl his way up your porch steps: beg on his knees for forgiveness.

Just give her some time. He didn't know if his mind was ringing or if Dean had said it again, but Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

The officer pressed her pen back to her little notebook. She nodded, "Okay so you guys followed the perpetrator into the forest. Male, blonde hair, you said?"

Dean made a grunt of agreement.

-

The night was so cold, Sam remembered.

A thin sheet of drizzle was patching up the sidewalk when his heavy footsteps crept up along it. Barely enough to dampen his hair, but his jacket felt impossibly heavy over his shoulders.

It was past midnight. The police had held them down: a trip to the station, a tower of signed documents and a sketch artist later there he finally was, standing feeling small for the first time in his life at the edge of your property.

Wind was twirling a thin line of smoke off your porch. He could see you through the darkness.

You said nothing. Eyes connected with his across your impeccably maintained grass.

It egged him forward.

His footsteps were loud clambering up the three wooden steps onto your porch.

You were leaned back into the arms of an ornate wooden rocking chair he'd noticed on his first trip up those same stairs. You weren't looking at him anymore: eyes drifting over the quiet street.

Sam was at least glad to find you bundled up in a blanket.

In your lap sat was the strangest-looking pipe he'd ever seen. An obnoxiously long chamber with a bulbous bowl at the end.

A string of purple smoke was curling out from between your lips. "You're here."

He couldn't tell if it was a question or not. Your face was as passionless as he'd ever seen it: offering him nothing.

"I promised I would be."

You nodded slowly, bringing the pipe up to your mouth and sucking on it steadily, still not looking at him. "How are the kids?"

Sam's hands bunched at his side. A dreadful burning viper was slithering between his organs. In this light he could see the smooth cut against your face, a misaimed throw of a blade from Dean when a tiny grotesque goblin had leapt up at him.

"They're ... they're fine. T-They're good."

"Did you know?"

You're looking at him now. It's the question he knew was coming but it knocks him breathless all the same.

He draws breath, mind spinning between the truth and an easier lie. "I--"

"Don't lie, Sam."

Your eyes are piercing him, like an arrow to the chest. He swallows hard. "Yes ... I did."

The pipe draws up to your mouth again, you let out a soft humourless laugh. It's followed out by another cloud of glittering smoke. The laugh so empty that it dries Sam's mouth.

"I ... the life I lead," he starts again, the snippets of a speech that he'd been stewing on his whole life for this exact moment coming out sounding more pathetic than he ever thought they could. "It's no life for you. For anyone, and I couldn't do that to someone I... I-I love. To tie you to me, I've done terrible things you don't know--"

"And you think I haven't?" You're rising from the chair now, pipe thudding to the floor. Your voice is prickled in a rising anger. "That I'm some jewel who could never imagine what life is like on the run? To kill and hurt for survival?"

The rain was coming down harder. Trees and bushes leaning against the push of the wind. Sam was so lost in the heat of your eyes that he didn't notice the creep of a thick-set branch crawling up the edge of the porch, down over the lip of the roof.

"Were you just gonna leave?" Your voice never rose but he flinched like you'd screamed it at him. The flush of fury setting your cheeks alight, illuminating the scar that put you both there. "You were, weren't you?"

The touch was wet and solid when it wrapped around his ankle, the branch wrenching him by both ankles back against the bannister of the porch. He gasped when the wood struck his back: another thick brown limb winding around his neck, not enough to hurt but enough to fix his head in your direction and stop him from toppling over.

It took a couple gulps of breath to realise that it was the tree. The one wrapped around your cottage, that it was you.

"This is a two way street, Sam." you pressed up against his chest, eyes alight with a power you'd never let show before. "You bang me up for years and years, and I sit and wait for you. And you were just gonna leave? Leave me to patch up all your bullet holes and your wolf bites?"

Shame drains his cheeks of warmth. He doesn't fight the tree's grip, purposefully ignores the sharpened blade that's still well within his reach. Sam shakes his head as well as he can: he doesn't know what to say. His whole pathetic speech meant nothing anymore and he didn't think this could hurt any harder until he realises that tears are streaming quietly down your perfect perfect face.

You're pressed up against him, your warmth seeping into his bones.

Forehead meeting his pectoral, you shake your head too. Tears wetting his shirt.

"I was scared." He finally lets out, it's pitiful. "I didn't know this is what it felt like. I didn't know love could feel like this."

"I'm scared too, you know." You whisper into him.

In a surge of bravery, or maybe just stupidity - he couldn't tell anymore, his hand finds your jaw: tipping it up to face him.

God, he never thought you could be more beautiful but you were blinking up at him with wet lashes and a trembling lip and he was ready to give up his whole fucking life for you. Lay down the gun and never pick it up again, let Dean drive alone out and far away from Fernglade.

It was all made more real when you leaned up onto your toes, nose brushing his and hands finding his neck.

You moved no closer, warm breath caressing the bow of his lip, but Sam would be damned if being hog-tied by some oak tree was gonna stop him from the taste of you so he wrapped a strong arm over your waist and tugged you just that little distance further.

The feeling of your lips crashing on his couldn't be any sweeter. He imagined that this is what a firework felt like when it leapt into the sky and burst.

Your mouth was desperate, like his, and your hands wrapped around the base of his shivering neck.

You tasted like sweet tea and tangy like whatever was in your magical pipe and if the tree wasn't holding him upright he'd have crashed to his knees. You whined lowly and it stoked the fire pit in Sam's stomach.

His tongue slipped past your lips, struggling against the hold of the oak tree to let his hands roam your back. Your mouth was wet hot and he knew he could kiss you forever, until his oxygen depleted and he was dead for the world.

But you stepped back, eyes wide like you'd been doused over with ice water. A hand wiped at your mouth, at the mix of his and your's saliva coating your lips.

"You ..." your voice trembled. "You should go."

You stumbled back down the porch, door creaking as it opened and banging as it shut.

The grip of the tree loosened and Sam watched it's branches creep back under the porch. It became still again, rain calming to a measly patter and bushes watching quietly.

"Fuck." he whispered.

-

Sam shut the car door obnoxiously loud after him. The leather of the Impala creaked loudly when Dean followed in suit, hands reaching up to the slick black wheel.

"You're sure?"

Without answering, Sam shifted to take one last look at the Pinecone Motel and it's chipping copper paint.

"Fine." Dean turned the key into the ignition, car rumbling to life beneath them.

In the backseat is his and Sam's rucksacks and duffle-bags jam-packed with their few worldly possesions. The same bags haphazardly zipped shut that same morning when Sam eventually busted through the door demanding that they left Fernglade right fucking now.

The sun was just barely creeping over the town and morning chill frosted the view through the windscreen. It's busy despite the time: open signs are flickering on and men in aprons are heaving crates of apples onto stands under fairylight-lit doorways.

Bad Moon Rising hummed through the crumbly speakers and Sam slammed the switch on the dash so it shut off.

"Hey!" Dean calls, "take it easy man. She's gentle."

He pat the dash softly where Sam has just knocked it. Still, his brother says nothing.

"Okay." He huffed, pulling the car into a spot near the sidewalk in front of a lifeless diner. Dean twists in his seat to face Sam: "you've barely said a word all morning."

Sam tugged his jacket closer over his frame. "I said I don't wanna talk about it."

"Yeah, yeah. You've been saying that all damn week." Dean's arm lifted to rest against the back of the seat. "But you're gonna talk now. This isn't some passing girl that you can just pack your bags and run away from. You're gonna have to go there and apologise."

Sam's expression curls in anger. "Yeah, Dean, I did that! And she tied me up with tree branches and kicked me off her porch--"

"Well, boo hoo!" Dean tightened his one-handed grip on the steering wheel. "Do it again! Do it until she forgives you."

"I don't need your advice, Dean. I've made up my mind, we're leaving."

A cat was scratching on a growing weed at the edge of the sidewalk, Sam focused on it to avoid his brother's eyes. They were hot and he could feel them burning a hole into the side of his face.

"Can we just go."

"What is it?" Dean spoke again, this time quieter. Cool fog followed the words out his mouth. "What are you scared of?"

Sam ran both hands through the tendrils of hair over his scalp. He sighed. "I'm ... she's not gonna be able to forgive me."

"Are you gonna be able to forgive yourself?"

There was a long quiet.

It was broken by a car passing noisily. It draws Dean's attention and he nodded quietly to himself. "Fine. Wisconsin?"

"Yeah." Sam agrees quietly.

The car started again, Dean went to turn to radio back up. "Will you grab my jacket, I left it in the trunk. It's fucking freezing in here."

Sam sighed again. "Fine."

"Thanks."

The door clicked open again. He's barely both feet out the car when it grumbles and swerves off the sidewalk, Sam tripped over the edge nearly onto the concrete, and by the time he's stabled himself: the Impala was racing down the main road.

"You'll thank me for this!" His brother's voice faded with the car's black silhouette.

Sam's hands returned to his hair again, "son of a bitch!"

An old lady across the street turned to him with an affronted look. He waves her off, kicking at the same weed the cat had abandoned in the flurry of commotion.

Above him, the diner sign flickers on: The Frothy Mug. He stopped.

It felt like years between when he was last standing under the same light of the sign. In front of the same three steps that he watched your eyes sparkle at him: your hand tucked warmly against his.

"Fucking ..." the expletives died on his tongue. He's right, that asshole.

"I'm a fucking idiot."

Sam's legs began moving before he even knew they were, chasing down the same route he'd meandered along with you three nights previous. He's sprinting, breathing a purposeless afterthought as the diner disappeared behind him.

Past the pharmacy, the laundromat, The Bloom Box. All the way to the end of town where your cottage and your trees and your flowers and you waited for him.

Sam panted clouded breaths as the sight came into view at the end of the road. The morning sunlight lit your garden a bright orangey eden. His steps were just as heavy as they were in the early hours of that same morning when he trudged up the same stone pathway.

He didn't let himself hesitate, bringing red, bruised knuckles up against the hardwood door. The knock rumbled through the house and shakes every bone in his body.

There was a long pause. Then a scuffle, a sniff and a "Goose, get back".

The door creaked and you stood in the doorway like you had the first day his feet found this porch.

While expected, Sam was taken aback by the sight of you. You're in a matching set of pajamas, green - unsurprisingly - and covered in little ladybugs. Your face was swollen with sleep, eyelashes kissing in the corner and lips puffy.

"Sam--" you sighed, but Sam's hands find your shoulders gently.

"I know it's early, but please listen. I'm an idiot." He sounded desperate, but couldn't find a way to help it.

"Yes." You nodded.

"And I'm sorry." He nodded along with you. "And it took Dean kicking me out the car to get me here because - like I said - huge idiot, but I'm sorry. I'm a sorry, sorry idiot who's so in love with you that he doesn't know what to do with himself."

Your eyebrow curls, "Dean kicked you out the car?"

Sam's eyes rolled. "Yes. I was going to leave, because I'm a coward too. A cowardly idiot who doesn't deserve forgiveness, but I'm asking for it anyways."

You shrugged, head dipping to almost rest against your shoulder. Your face almost, almost laced in amusement. "Begging always looks a little more convincing on your knees, Sam."

His knees knock loudly when they hit the wooden porch. Sam's hands slide down to find yours.

"I'm sorry." He said again, the only words his brain could formulate under the shine of you in your morning glory - the sight of a woman he wanted to see every morning until forever. "Please let me make it up to you?"

Your hands released his slowly, rising to run through his chestnut hair and settling at the base of his neck. You smile.

He thought he might be dreaming but you lean down and kiss him gently. A tinkle of bells rang through the air and Sam smiled against your mouth.

You brushed your nose against his: "I forgive you, Sam."

Sam's hands grip against your hips before floating back and brushing against the edge of the silken wings at your back.

"Really?"

"Yes. Now come in here and show me how sorry you are."

-

remember to comment and repost please!

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[aziraphales-library]

Hey! I'm not looking for a particular fic and maybe somebody's already asked this, but could you point me the way to kidfics where Crowley is the birthing parent? Idk if I'm just unlucky or bad at searching but it seems like almost all the 'one of them gives birth' fics have Aziraphale as the birth parent...

Hello! We do have a #pregnant crowley tag, so take a look at that. Here are some more fics to add to the collection...

Angel Baby by ARealPip (T)

Crowley is pregnant, and a group of doctors and nurses struggle valiantly to handle the gender-fluid inhuman patient who has suddenly shown up in their offices. Aziraphale does his very best to help put them at their ease. But it all goes a bit strange.

This Miraculous Child (Of Ours) by blackeyedblonde (E)

“Well?” Crowley asks, wretchedly pulling his sunglasses from his face. “Why isn’t your angelic juju doing me one better and nipping whatever this is in the arse?” The fact that Aziraphale has paled some himself and reached up to clutch at the front of his dressing gown doesn’t seem to bode well. “You—you’re with child, Crowley,” he says, just like that, in the messy parlor of this once-scourged effing bookshop in Soho where Crowley thought he’d lost the one thing he ever really cared about, the car be damned, since they unraveled into existence and millennia began.

More to Love by Sodium_Azide (E)

It's a new world, and the beginning of a new era. Crowley has never been happier in his long life, but, (ain't there always a but) he has his angel, he has his freedom, he has his Bentley and the whole world to explore, but he still wants more. Unexpectedly, he gets it. (an ineffable family fic)

The Way We're Made by dsaun (E)

After the almost-apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale attempt to settle back into their old routines. What they don't know is that their meddling in the great plan has piqued the creator's curiosity and she has other ideas. A drunken evening causes ineffable consequences and turns everything upside down.

beyond the river jordan by blackeyedblonde (E)

“I think it’s time we try and do the thing,” is what Crowley says, when the words finally wing up out of him one morning. “Do what, dear?” Aziraphale asks as he takes a scrubbing brush to the skillet they’d made eggs in. Behind them, Dove is smearing oatmeal and a bit of scramble around her highchair tray, blabbing good-naturedly in her little singsong voice while morning sunlight slants in just enough to make her strawberry hair shine like rose gold. “You know,” Crowley grunts, drying an antique porcelain plate with a particular furor that makes it consider breaking, though it wouldn’t dare so much as chip with the angel in the room. “Uh. Try again—for a baby. But swapped ‘round a bit so I do all the cooking.” Aziraphale calmly keeps up with his washing, though a little smile plays around his mouth and then gradually grows a bit wider. “Ah,” he says all too knowingly, which makes Crowley’s stomach lurch. “I’d been wondering when you’d feel ready to bring that up again.”

The Birds and the Bees for Ineffable Idiots by DarkAngel2891 (T)

Crowley doesn't know how reproduction works. Aziraphale is at a loss for words. Whatever the two where expecting it wasn't this. God ships Crowley and Aziraphale.

- Mod D

[seat-safety-switch]

You've probably read a bunch of crazy shit in the news lately about batteries. Batteries, and the stuff we make them out of, will decide whether or not we plunge into an eternal ecological hell or not. They are meant to be made in complicated factories by well-meaning scientists, always pushing the state of the art. Friends, I'm here to tell you that batteries aren't that complicated. You can just steal them from the grocery store.

However, it is true that a pack of AA batteries sequestered under your sweater is not enough to make a car go. Certainly, not enough to make it go very fast, even if you put the suckers in parallel (that's electronic engineer speak for "side by side.") No, we need a different battery technology. And that technology should be accessible to the common dirtbag like me, so that Big Business can't take it away from them like they did "electricity" and "open fires."

I bring to you: egg fart batteries. I got the idea a few years ago, when I noticed that my Volare's starter battery had cracked and was starting to piss acid all over the underside of the hood. It smelled like sulphur, just like egg farts. I don't think you need me to draw any thicker of a line between these two points. A few awful weekends in the shop later, and I now have a functional electric car powered entirely by renewable energy. Free, too, if you steal eggs from the grocery store.

It's pretty great: nobody tailgates me anymore in traffic, and I get to work without having to clean out my fuel filter on the side of the road every thirty miles. Sure, there are some dramatic downsides. Nobody can claim it's a zero-emission automobile, for one thing. We all have to do our part to save the world, though. For instance, we're gonna have to order like four more bennies each at brunch if we want to get home.

[copperbadge]

Mr Sam, I've never thought about freezing dairy before. In particular I thought you COULDN'T freeze milk and yogurt. Could you talk about your freeze / defrost process and how the thawed product compares to original? This could change my shopping habits so thanks in advance.

In my experience, you can freeze almost any dairy product except sour cream, which for some reason does Not Cope Well with being frozen. Also some cheeses, but that varies. Full report below! :D

Regular yogurt can be frozen and is actually extremely delicious when eaten straight from freezing, I love the texture it develops. Greek yogurt freezes well too, though it needs to be stirred after defrosting. Both taste roughly the same after being thawed, as long as they weren't in the freezer for long enough to get freezer burn (like, over a year).

Milk can be frozen, or at least skim and 1% can; I only ever drink skim, but I recently had to buy 1% because there was no skim to be had, and it froze just as well; it looked a little gross when frozen but when thawed and shaken up it was fine. Butter, buttermilk, and cream can all be frozen, although cream gets a bit weird and thick so you either need to shake it up with a bit of normal milk, or only use it in baking (as I do -- I don't use it for coffee, for example).

Cheese can be frozen but it has the most textural issues when thawed. Harder cheese tends to break up into chunks, becoming brittle and difficult to slice, though it still melts well and tastes fine. Shredded cheese freezes very well, though if you have say a pound of it, it's best to break it up into smaller packages first, so that you can thaw out what you want without having to set the whole thing out. I've also had luck with freezing brie and other soft cheeses, but effect varies. The flavor does not appear to me to change after freezing.

I have admittedly never frozen kefir because I don't like it and don't keep it, but I think kefir probably shouldn't be, because it's fizzy.

Eggs, as long as we're in the sphere of dairy, can also be frozen, but need a little more care. You need to either crack them into oiled muffin tins and freeze individually, or beat the white and yolk together and freeze (I do this, and they turn BRIGHT ORANGE when frozen, this is normal). If you beat them together you can freeze multiple eggs in one container, so like I'll beat together four eggs and freeze, then thaw for epic scrambled eggs or for use in baking (by weight).

The freeze-thaw process is pretty simple for most. Yogurt and greek yogurt can go into the freezer in the containers they come in; I usually buy one of the bigger packages of greek yogurt, split it among 2-3 tupperware, and freeze it that way, and I've also frozen it in a ziplock bag in a pinch. Thaw in the fridge or on the counter if you're careless like me. Give a stir before eating.

Butter (and also cream cheese) can be put into the fridge in the packet you buy it in; if you're freezing a large portion of butter that isn't already split into sticks, it's probably wise to divide it up and freeze it in plastic wrap or tupperware. To defrost, thaw in fridge or on counter. This works for salted and unsalted. You can also place the butter on a sheet of plastic wrap, put another sheet over the top, and smoosh it out into a thin pancake before freezing; it thaws much faster that way. 

Milk can be frozen in the packaging it comes in but it's generally not a great idea because you also have to thaw it all at once, and milk thaws very slowly. I usually just try to buy small amounts of milk, but lately you can only get skim in gallons, so I buy a gallon, pour it into a series of jars (I'm short on tupperware and well-stocked with jam jars) and put them in the freezer. With any liquid, you want to fill the jars/tupperware only about 3/4 of the way full and put the caps on LOOSELY until the milk is frozen; a tight cap will trap the air and when the liquid expands, it can crack the glass or plastic. You can tighten the lid once it’s frozen. Thaw on the counter or in the fridge, or microwave it; often I'll set the milk out to thaw and every two hours or so pour off what's been thawed into a new container in the fridge.

As mentioned, cheese gets brittle; if I'm freezing cheese I tend to shred it first because that'll be the end result anyway :D

I think that's everything, but if you have a question about dairy that I didn't mention, I'm happy to answer!

[chaosgremlinmunson]

April fools?...🫣😳

Minors dni, smutty funny content ahead, 18+ only please!

Eddie had a plan. He was sure it was going to either be hilarious or he was about to die by either Robin Buckley or Steve Harrington’s hand by the end of the day, but he had a plan. First thing was first though, he had to get Chrissy on board, and that, he was sure, was about to be a challenge. However, as luck would have it she also thought it was a great idea. Well, she thought he was hiding the eggs in the appropriate room, but hey, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt right? Right? Ok, so maybe his platonic soulmate might also kill him, but no one could ever say Eddie Munson didn't commit to the bit.

He strolled into melvads on Friday morning grabbing bags of cheap plastic eggs, and snickered when he saw glitter as well, thought why not and tossed it in his cart as well. When he approached the counter the teenage cashier just looked at him for a moment, rolled her eyes and rang him up. He bought a couple disposable cameras as well, and headed back to his van making his way to his and Chrissy's apartment. When he came in she was sitting in the armchair, near her leg was a couple bags from their favorite fetish shop out in Indy and she grinned at him.

“You think Robin will finally get the clue I'm into her after her Easter gift?” She twirled her hair around a finger, and reached into her own bag laying out a baby blue corset and pointed to his bag, “don't worry I got the things you wrote down for yours.”

Eddie laughed, coming to sit beside her kissing her temple, “I think if anything, she's definitely going to have some thoughts after this.”

((smut under the cut))

They made a night of it going full on fashion show, boudoir shoot. Eddie trusted Chrissy for the more exposed photos, he wrapped himself in nothing but a sunshine yellow ribbon, accentuating every curve, and giving a full view to the thick swollen present he wanted Steve to have most of all.

The photos were developed that weekend, a friend owing him a favor, asking no questions, and Eddie got set to stuff the eggs. Half with photos, the other half glitter bombs. He waited for Tuesday when they'd have their weekly movie night, the one night they all collectively had a scheduled day off and came to Steve's and while Steve showered he got busy hiding the eggs around the house. He had practiced acting innocent when he was anything but, so no one was any the wiser when they all gathered. Robin found the first egg as she and Chrissy went to sit on the loveseat.

Robin looked at the egg confused for a moment before opening it, falling sideways while screeching and throwing the egg at Eddie's head. Steve came rushing over, leaned down to pick up the egg and his face went crimson seeing Eddie in a leather harness and assless chaps. He gulped and looked up at Eddie, and walked back to the kitchen to grab their drinks and then screeched himself, finding another egg Eddie had hidden.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” He said running out and handing the egg straight to Chrissy, refusing eye contact. She looked down to see the photo she's taken riding her toy in the corset, her face going red in embarrassment before standing up and tackling Eddie straight to the floor.

“Edward Nathaniel Kristof Munson! You said they would be hidden in their rooms and only Robin would see me, and that I would win my Birdy! You lied, you, dramatic, overgrown, wet cat! I'm burning your leather chaps, and your new yellow sparkle plug!” Chrissy had him pinned her hands gripping his hair not realizing the absolute bombshell she just dropped as Eddie yelped.

“Chris! Chrissy-bee, love of my life, queen of the world, most beautiful and wonderful best friend of mine, I did it for April fools! She still got to see! And at least this way you know she's going to see it!” He was wiggling under her trying to get away.

“I'm going to put bleach in your shampoo, I'm going to replace all your records with pop music! I'm going to tell Steve about the scrapbook!” She was screeching at him, her tiny frame hid how strong she really was and Eddie was starting to regret this idea. Then he realized, shit, they're still in the living room. All of this was said in front of both of their crushes. Dear God in heaven he did not think this through, at all. Chrissy seemed to come to a conclusion at the same time as Eddie did because they just made eye contact and both stared eyes wide before standing up slowly looking at the floorboards. Disaster gays, that's what they were. Jesus H Christ, Eddie just wanted to disappear and pretend this hadn't happened at all, but clearly now it was way too late. Steve grabbed his hand and his eyes went wide again as he led him into his room away from Robin and Chrissy, he pushed Eddie onto the bed and climbed into his lap pulling Eddie's chin up to look him in the eye.

“You couldn't just tell me the normal way huh? Had to be as dramatic as possible, had to be a little riot and get the blood pumping?” Steve emphasized the last bit by rolling hips down into Eddie's lap as he gasped, “I should make you wait for it. I should punish you for being such a bad boy and showing off. No one but me should have seen you that way.” He nipped Eddie's neck whispering into his skin, “As a matter of fact, I am. Robin is going to yours with Chris, and you Eddie, are going to go around this apartment and get every. Single. Egg. And you're going to open each one so that your photos end up only for my eyes, and Chrissy's will be set in Robin's room. Then you're going to clean my mess you make. And if you do a good enough job I might just let you have a treat.” He licked up the side of Eddie's face who shuddered and nodded, his hands gripping Steve's hips.

Steve slid off his lap and watched Eddie, an eyebrow raised in expectation before Eddie moved to start gathering everything. He opened every one over the trash, that way glitter didn't get anywhere and separated the photos like Steve asked. He rushed around cleaning the house, leaving everything as immaculate and clean as Steve typically had it and stood in the living room his hands clasped behind his back as Steve made his way through the house checking everything was done to his standard. When he came back to where Eddie stood he looked him over for a moment.

“On your knees.” He commanded and Eddie fell straight to his knees, thankful for the plush carpeting under his legs. His mouth was already watering as he looked up at Steve waiting for his next command, “open your mouth and stick out your tongue.”

Eddie rushed to comply and Steve placed his fingers into Eddie's mouth who immediately sucked them in as Steve inhaled shakily still keeping control, he reached other hand up to Eddie's mouth and brushed his fingers over his cheek.

“Was this what you needed? Something to shut you up, make you sink? Fall apart slowly?” He growled, he moved his hands up to Eddie's hair tugging at the strands before pulling him up to his feet and crashing their lips together. “Strip.”

Eddie hurriedly pulled his shirt off, he tripped over his pants but still rushed to get undressed and stood before Steve again who came up in front of him before making his way slowly around Eddie appraising him.

“You're doing so good for me. Such a good boy when you want to be, hmm?” He ran a hand up Eddie's thigh cupping his ass before smacking it once, “This what I need to do for you? Tell you what to do?” Eddie's eyes were fluttering and he was leaking down onto the carpet.

“I can be good for you, only for you. Please, Steve, please.” Eddie panted his hips quivering trying not to rut against the air.

“Do you think you've earned it?” He leaned into Eddie's space whispering in his ear tugging his hair again, “Do you think you deserve me to touch your pretty little cock yet?” Eddie whimpered, he knew he wasn't small but Steve being mean was making his skin light up in the most delicious ways.

“Please, I can earn it. I can be so good for you Stevie. Please, please, just tell me what to do.” Eddie whined.

“Bend over.” Eddie bent over the back of the couch where Steve had led him. “Use this, and open yourself up for me. Don't come until I say you've earned it. Be my good girl.”

Eddie keened high in his throat and got to work opening himself up in front of him, he arched his back and after a few moments was shaking, Steve pulled his hand away to look at his progress and put two of his own thicker longer fingers inside of him. Eddie screamed his name, his head whipping back and arching into the touch.

“So you can be good.” He said moving his fingers in and out quickly, just as he felt him clamping down close to release he stopped, all Eddie heard was the zipper of his light blue jeans and the schlick, schlick, noises of his pumping himself before he buried himself to the hilt bringing Eddie up against his chest, he placed a hand over his throat not squeezing, just resting and bite the junction just under his ear, “Ride me like a good girl Eds. Show me how badly you want it.”

Eddie groaned rolling his hips back against Steve as he felt him all around him, “fuck Stevie, I love you, fuck I love you.”

“I know Eds, I love you too. Now ride my cock like the whore you tried to be in your little photo shoot.” He squeezed his neck softly sucking his earlobe into his mouth rolling to meet his thrusts.

“Steve please, I'm so close, can I come please. Please, sir, please, please, please.” He begged, Steve growled and bit his neck, before slamming into him harder.

“Come on my cock, don't touch yourself.” He panted his rhythm getting sloppy but harder.

Eddie cried out clamping down hard on him, come painting across the back of the couch over the quilt Eddie had bought him for his birthday recently and Steve wasn't far behind.

As they came down Steve still holding Eddie in his arms as he softened he kissed over Eddie's neck, “You're still a little shit. But God, do I love you.” Steve breathed in between kisses, “I want you to be mine. Officially.” He said turning Eddie to face him.

“Stevie, I've been yours for longer than you've known.” He leaned and kissed his lips, “Happy Easter baby.”

[smokingtiger]

We Need To Talk About Shipping

I just want to put this out there since this website seems to be full of delusional shippers who are pushing fictional narratives or chains of events that literally never happened irl. Now personally, I don't mind casual shipping (big gasp, I know). Like if you think two people are cute together or have great chemistry, that's fine; ppl tend to reflect their own desires onto other people/things, whether they be fictional or real ... create your stories, write your fics, draw some nice pictures ...  the problem lies when you can no longer decipher your own fictional stories of your favorite ship from reality. If you have gotten to the point where you feel the need to argue over what ship is REAL in a space where these types of relationships haven't even been confirmed or acknowledged ... kindly exit the fandom and only come back after taking classes in human decency. If BTS hasn't confirmed a relationship, then we as fans must accept that as our reality. Of course, many of us have our speculations, but we should never overstep and promote those realms of possibility as true. You are allowed to think something might be real, but don't turn that idea of realness into false delusions about fabricated events. If you are in the ask box of a stranger accusing a BTS member of cheating on another BTS member with another BTS member... please take the time to reevaluate your life choices. I've seen jkkrs and tkkrs argue for hours over things that literally never happened. How can you guys accuse BTS members of purposely sabotaging another member in the name of a ship? I saw a jikook post that said JM was purposely trying to tick TH off by being 'intimate' with JK. Are you sure you're talking about Jimin? Like, Park Jimin? Kim Taehyung's best friend? That Jimin? One of the best examples that I can think of (right now) is JK's 25th birthday live when he told Jin that none of the members came to visit him for his birthday except for JM and HS. He confirmed TWICE that TH did not come to see him. Now normal people would look at this and just move on, bc we can understand that the other members probably sent happy birthday texts or even gave him a phone call. Just bc something is not done publicly does not mean it didn't happen. But anyways, tkkrs had the AUDACITY of accusing JK of lying, running with a fictitious lie that he had only said he didn't come to 'protect' TH. So are HS and JM not relevant in this equation at all? Did JK purposely mention JM and HS to put them in danger? You DO NOT get to accuse people that YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW of these types of things. Who the hell do you think you are? (also, I'm not targeting tkkrs, I understand that not every single one of you is a bad egg, but this is just the first example I could think of) Y'all need to throw blogs and youtube channels (*cough* taekook-lives *cough*) that have fake stories and leaked photos as evidence away. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, DO NOT SUPPORT SASAENG/STALKER PHOTOS, EVEN IF IT'S OF YOUR SHIP. Some shippers are far too comfortable using photos that were taken of BTS without their consent as ammo. You are gross. BigHit has protections! Half of these delulu shippers can't even interpret Kor words/sentences correctly and spew false garbage that is both utterly offensive toward BTS and the Kor lang. If you can't even take the time to properly consume the nuances of what is being said, what makes you think that you're such a good detective and can sniff out a relationship? Hell, they can't even tell when honorifics are being used or if they're speaking satoori! Is it so hard to consult actual Koreans and Kor speakers to see if what you're consuming is actually correct? The Korean culture and language are not yours to maliciously weaponize when you're trying to prove a 'point'. But like I said, I feel like this community needs a lot of cleaning up. I want you to enjoy your time in the fandom, but don't attack other people on false evidence or speculations. Take care of yourself and others. Don't let your ships make you into a monster.

And as always, LOVE all seven. SUPPORT all seven. Understand that BTS' bond is so pure and lovely and there's nothing that delusional stans and shippers can say/do to ruin that.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

The Purple Sign. Part V

Self-Aware! Oda Sakunosuke x GN! Reader

Description: There is The Purple Sign on your door. Part V

Fluff. Oda pampering

Curry recipe I used in this oneshot

Warning: OOC. English is my second language

You heard some noise coming outside your room. Children's voices. And heavy steps.

Then someone knocked on your door and, after some waiting, opened the door.

Oda Sakunosuke was standing on your room's doorstep. Along with his five kids.

Well... Almost standing.

Kousuke hung on Oda like a koala, wrapping his arms and legs around Oda from the back.

Katsumi grabbed Oda's left arm and was hugging it.

Shinji and Yu were hugging Oda's legs, keeping the man in one place.

Sakura was simply holding Oda's right hand.

Oda looked amused, embarrassed and tried. Still, he doesn't seem to view the current situation as something bad. And tiredness... It didn't come because of the kids.

Sakura took a step forward and handed you The Purple Sign.

"[Y/N]! We want to ask you to pamper Oda! He is sad and needs some attention!"

Shinji looked up at you.

"He didn't want to bother you, so we bring him here."

Yu's voice sounded serious. A little comically serious.

"We know, that he is in good hands with you."

Katsumi point at you.

"So don't break our trust."

Kousuke frowned, looking at you.

"Or we will be sad and eat all your snacks!"

This five were so serious. It took all of your willpower not to laugh and pinch their cheeks.

You cast a quick glance at Oda and took The Purple Sign from Sakura.

"Well, I will do it. Oda is in good hands. I promise."

Kids looked satisfied and lose their grips on Oda. After few more serious stares towards you, the kids left you and Oda alone.

You smiled.

"They won't let anyone feel down. They are great kids."

Oda hummed in return. You handed The Purple Sign to Oda.

"Oda, if you don't want it, it's okay. You could sleep here, so kids won't know. Just, remember, I will always be there for you."

It took Oda some time to make a decision. He took The Purple Sign and hang it on your door.

That's the only answer you need.

__________

You were in the kitchen, making curry.

Rice and tofu were slowly fried on the pan. You were carefully mixing them up with a wooden spoon.

And Oda Sakunosuke was hugging you from behind and leaning on you. He almost lay on you.

Both of you were quiet. You were listening to Oda's heartbeat.

And he was listening to yours.

Oda always told you, that he likes it, when you are near him. When he can feel your warmth and heartbeat.

Every time Oda came to you with The Purple Sign, he insisted on holding you close.

"You are your own person. You can choose whatever life you want, Oda."

You add curry powder, then some soy sauce.

Oda rubbed his cheek against yours. His stubble tickle. He hugged you tighter.

"It's not my place to order you to do anything. If you think, that you can write a novel, then do it."

Garlic and ginger were added to the mix. The aroma of spices filled the room. Fresh basil were added shortly after them.

Oda hummed and kissed the back of your neck.

"It smells great, Novel Luck."

You still have no idea, how he came with this nickname.

"Don't do things you don't want to, or you aren't ready. You are your own real living breathing person."

When curry was ready, you put it on two plates and add a raw egg on top of both servings.

"Nevertheless, came to me, if you feel down. I am here. I am near."

You insist on baking them a little, before eating. Oda simply squeezed you in agreement.

_______

You two were back into your room.

The purple lights were on. Tea was served. And you two were sitting next to each other, eating curry.

From time to time you kissed his cheek. In return, he hug you closer to his side.

After curry was eaten, you open the emergency shelf and take few books from the drawer with Oda's name on it.

Every month you took random books from the library and put it in Oda's drawer.

You take any book you can see. Author, genre and length don't matter.

You and Oda read books. Well, Oda read them and his voice is shooting. You sit on his lap and hold the book. His embrace is warm.

_________

Oda is laying on your bed, while you are laying on him. You caress his cheek.

"Want to share something with me?"

Oda shook his head.

"Nothing much. Except for one thing..."

Oda pulled you closer.

"I am glad to have others in my life. And I am happy and lucky to have you in my life. Thank you, [Y/N]."

Oda kissed your forehead, cheeks, nose and chin multiple times.

His stubble tickles you again, and you let out a small laugh.

Tonight you slept on Oda. His arms were holding you close to his chest. His breathing was shooting. You were covered in blankets.

You two were safe. Ready to build your own tomorrow.

[quitealotofsodapop]

So Mk gets surprise eggo because of paint and confined space and lack of food? Imagine that he has no idea what’s wrong with him, he goes to Lao Tzu, and when Lao Tzu goes “congrats on the baby” Everyone just kinda stops.

And Mk bursts into tears so loudly that all of heaven can hear. He’s all “I can’t have a baby, it’s too dangerous!” And “I’m not ready!” Pigsy and Wukong are trying to comfort him, and the poor boys is just a sobbing mess.

And Lao Tzu is just standing there like “?????”

Sorry MK XD You're getting Egged

Bonus Anon asks:

Referencing this post where someone pointed out that MK could theoretically create a Stone Egg + the sequel that pointed out that he'd most likely do it on accident.

I could see this most likely happening in the Canon! verse since I bet the other au MK's would be more wary of Stone Egg mishaps. But I could 100% see it happening in the SlowBoiled au since that causes more drama.

And as much as I love the idea of MK becoming *ahem* egg'd as the result of a bad guy's plans or a huge catarosphe, I think it would fit more if MK did it completely on accident.

So the idea:

Post S3 MK decides that he needs some "Me time" and takes a break from work and training after the whole "Saving the world from a bone demon"-thing. He just needs some time to shut off completely from his responsibilities in the city. His friends understand and wish him well, even though they're worried since MK won't tell him *Where* he's taking a break to.

"Where" turns out to be a cool cave-let MK found while exploring FFM during S2 with no Monkey King to hover over him. Its quiet, it's secluded, its completely off-grid... But MK just can't relax. His brain is all busy, and everytime he sleeps he sees Her.

So he starts painting. And drawing. And using charcoal. Maybe a little rough pottery with the muddy clay-like stuff in the water? And soon enough he's looking like his Artist Clone with how caked in material he is.

In liu of going to sleep and risking terrible bone demon nightmares, MK meditates like how he saw the Monkey King do. In these moments his thoughts wander into deep, dark teritory. Real "call of the void"-type of thoughts.... hey should he eat something? It's been... oh gosh Pigsy's gonna killl him if he doesn't at least text to tell him how his sabbatical is going.

After his inpromtu vacation is up, MK feels... really gross? Maybe thats cus he hasn't really washed or slept or ate, or spoken to anyone in all that time. Weird.

Pigsy asks him how long it's been since MK last ate a full meal, and huffs with disappointment at his nervous laugh before pouring his son a bowl of noodles.

Bouts of nausea and dizziness follow MK everywhere afterwards. He had no idea why - paint fumes maybe? Did some toxic chemical seep into his skin? Did he get sick somehow from isolating himself in that cave? Is that Jin and Yin trying to take over the city?

At somepoint in the utter chaos of S4 likely as the rest of the gang are recieving training from Subodhi; a certain alchemist meets MK to whisper a few questions into his ear.

Lao Tzu: "I was told that you've been experiencing extreme power fluctuations for the last few weeks. May I run a few test to rule out any abnormalities?"

MK: "Oh cool, no probs! Just don't put me in that furnace thing-y."

(*a few tests later*)

Lao Tzu: "Ok great news, it's not a curse or medical problem."

MK: "Phew! Then why is my body feels like its "glitching" all the time?"

Lao Tzu: "Thats a decaying glamour spell. Its likely that you had one affixed to you shortly before you were given up by your creators."

MK: "Glamour spell...? Wait, then what about my powers wigging out?"

Lao Tzu: "Oh thats easy. You're just pregnant."

MK (has not Done the Do): "What!?"

Mere seconds after Lao Tzu gives the diagnosis - MK just starts bawling.

He doesn't want this! Not now! He does want to have kid while all This is going on! The world might be ending for Buddha's sake!

MK is having a million panic attacks rn. He wants to have kids, so many, but only in the *Future*! When he's like semi-retired and has a protege of his own to take over the monkey business- HEY WAIT, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!

Subodhi has to drop the big lore that MK is a Stone Monkey - capable of reproducing asexually under extreme circumstances, in order to clear up the whole immaculate conception part.

Then Lao Tzu has to tell MK that the Stone Egg he carries will likely Kill him since he's (mostly) mortal.

MK starts crying before deciding to tackle the issue Later.

Ofc MK simply doesn't want his family to worry about him what with all this Brotherhood stuff going on... so he just keeps quiet for now.

His family are going to find out soon though. And by Guanyin, Pigsy is gonna freak.

Macaque (and later Wukong), just need to sniff MK once after they reunite to notice whats up.

Wukong offers to grab some No-Baby Spring Water immediately if MK doesnt want to keep the Egg. Macaque briefly panics thinking that the kid got knocked up the old-fashioned way... only to panic harder when he and Wukong determine it to be a Solo-Made Stone Egg(!!!). Cue two panicking fellow Stone Monkeys making MK feel even worse about his conflicted feelings on the matter.

Pls add on what you think so far! :3