#I just think it's a really neat idea and helps me explore some of my own personal mental health issues

[my-love-is-sunlight]

Love recipe

Sanji x gardener!reader

fluff!!!!!!!! Stablished relationship, gn reader, from my gardener!reader series but can be read as a stand alone, I recommend this

Word count: 1.2k

Summary: In which you find Sanji’s cook notebook

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

An endless sea of boxes filled your room in the Sunny, when had you accumulated so much stuff in your time with the strawhats? You didn’t know

You were the kind to keep everything, even the tiniest things held so much memories and meaning that you just couldn’t leave them behind

But you were starting to regret it

A week ago you and Sanji had finally decided to tell the crew that you were dating

After being met with all of your crewmates groans of defeat as they handed a couple berries to Nami you realized maybe you were a little more obvious than you thought

Regardless they were happy and a little relieved that you two had finally settled down

“So is the dumb cook finally moving out? We are tired of you leaving every night to our quarters,” Zoro was quick to ask you looking dead in your bashful eyes, red blush rushing to your face

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” Sanji screamed at the swordsman in your defense

As much as you tried to brush the matter off or deny the accusations everyone had witnessed how at very ungodly hours of the night you’d slip into Sanjis bed to sleep soundly and turning back to your own at sunrise thinking no one noticed

“OR you can move in with us!” Your Captain chimed in but his idea was immediately shot down by your boyfriend

So he moved in your room, something you were happy about but right now, as you choose what to keep, throw away or store in boxes to make space for Sanji, was giving you a huge headache.

You sat cross legged in the middle of your floor between boxes looking like cat in hiding as Sanji walked in with a couple of more boxes in hand, settling them on the ground glancing at your form and smiling in endearment

“Almost done my love” he spoke up making you bend backwards and smiling at him

“Let me get up and help you with the rest”

“Absolutely not” something about you even lifting a finger in his presence always made him shiver, there was no way he was gonna allow you carry his heavy boxes, he knew you were capable, he just didn’t wanted you to

It was the third time you had offered to help him so you just gave up and giggled before returning to your task as the blonde went back to make yet another trip from the boys quarters to your room

You let out a defeated sigh as you finally finished up choosing everything that you decided to get rid off. As you got up with the box you tripped over the others that surrounded you making you lose balance, in an attempt to save yourself from a nasty fall, one of Sanjis boxes opened and some of his belongings scattered across the floor

“Dammit” carefully you place your box aside as you hastily take your boyfriend’s personal stuff and return them into the box, not wanting Sanji to think you were snooping round his personal belongings

As you delicately put his box aside, a notebook lays on the ground that you seemed to have missed to put away, you take it but instead of storing it, your hands explore the markings on the cover

‘Sanjis cookbook’ it read in his neat handwriting, you smile to yourself before slowly opening it, the notebook was well loved and you didn’t wanted it to break apart at your touch. The pages were filled with different recipes the cook had came up with during the years, it was sweet how noticeable was the change in his notes when he joined the strawhats, suddenly more intricate and lively dishes appearing on its pages. It was obvious how much he enjoyed being the crews cook, this was a trait of him you always had loved and admired. The cook had created dishes, drinks and pastries inspired by every crew member, some just being fun experimental ones, while others attended to their nutritional needs

Some really tasty meat recipes made for Luffy

An orangy strong drink for Nami

Boring rice-balls with a hint of sake for Zoro

Coffee infused pastries for Robin

Chicken a lá Soda for Franky

Taroyaki for Usopp

Sweet cotton candy for Chopper

Curry for Brook

Some of them with your name on it eventually show up but were all about either your diet or changing some ingredients up in meals you didn’t quite like or would upset your stomach, even your favorite vegetable soup was in there with a marking on it with your name. Expectancy bubbled in your stomach as you waited for dishes made not for you, but inspired by you to appear, but as you kept on reading the pages of everyone’s meals except yours a frown plastered on your lips

“Oh” you thought, maybe you weren’t good enough to be Sanji’s muse. Of course you knew he loved you endlessly, he would assure you everyday and you’ll see it in different ways he had to tell you ‘I love you’ without even speaking it.

The way he would patiently show you how to cut ingredients in the kitchen so you could help him and spend quality time, or the names he’d call you that sweetened your days, how he would always be on your call and foot for whatever you wished or needed, the dreamy look you’d spark on his eyes and even just the full on attention he’d offer you, as if you were the only thing in the world

But still, one would think you’ll at least have one dish dedicated to you after all the love he exuded in your presence

As you gave up and started to close the notebook, you saw a page near the end with your name on it, making your eyes grow wide in joy. You open it to find not a dish, but a whole different section of the notebook just for you, the cook had even drawn tiny hearts after your name

Pink dusted your face and a bright smile grew on your lips as you admired the dishes Sanji had crafted with such love and dedication, recognizing some of them and even remembering how he had asked you to taste test them in the past. You were moved, over the moon wasn’t enough of an expression to understand how you were feeling, no one had ever shown this much appreciation for you, small tears peaked at the corner of your eyes of the fullness you felt. How could you ever return such a gesture? Such love declaration that you didn’t even were supposed to know about?

You return the notebook to its rightful place before standing back on your feet and taking your box towards the door that slowly opened revealing your tall blonde handsome of a boyfriend with the last box

“Sorry it took so long sunlight, Luffy asked me for another snack and I ha-“ he was cut off by the biggest warmest hug he had ever received in his life, dropping the box as your hands found a spot on his neck and your lips pecked his before hiding your face in his neck, your feet tip toeing so you could reach

The action took Sanji by surprise, making him blush and stand frozen in place at your sudden affection that he still found difficult to come around, always being used to be the more affectionate one until you showed up and made him know how much loved he deserved back

“Is everything alright my love?”

“Yes darling, everything’s amazing”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Omg they’re back I’m so happy!!!! Hope you enjoy and remember you can request anything you wanna see about these two or just anything One Piece related technically

[radiosummons]

I do find it kinda cute that Mandalorians will physically use their bodies to convey their emotions. I don't know why, but the exaggerated nonverbal tilt of their heads to indictate confusion, amusement, shock or whatever else just never gets boring to me. Not to mention the way they will shift their bodies to lean up against something or to indicate that they see someone as a threat.

If anything, I find myself more a bit more endeared to watching these nonverbal forms of communication. One of my favorite things about acting and animation is the subtle choices the actors/animators will make in silently communicating a character's emotions or mental state. I find myself more fascinated by not what a character actually says, but how they use their body and their facial expressions to convey what they really mean.

I do also find the idea of Mandalorians being more unguarded about expressing their emotions when their helmets are off to be a very interesting take that I've seen some members of the fandom run with. Especially if said Mandalorian has never really had to learn to guard their expressions due to wearing their helmet constantly. That's a cool idea and I'm glad that people have been exploring this.

I dunno. Maybe it's just because I was an Animation major and had a few professors that made us study acting/guest lectures on acting, but the ability to convey any thought or emotion nonverbally is just one of the coolest things I think you can use to express a character's personality, motivation, conflict(s), etc.

Tldr; This is really just another way of me saying I think the Mandalorians are neat. They're my special space idiots and I can't help but talk about them.

[girlwiththepapatattoo]

you see through me what lies beyond, Chapter 2

Warnings: vaginal sex, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, intimidation, Ganondorf being himself

Summary: Left alone in the Demon King's rooms, you pick up a new skill.

Notes: I hadn't expected to do a second chapter, but I managed to get an idea for a plot! Granted, I'm not sure where it'll go right now, but...that's part of the fun. If you spot any mistakes in this, feel free to point it out, I'm falling asleep editing lol <3

Read on Ao3 here!

Previous chapter

You wake alone. For a moment, you startle at the unfamiliar bed, the silk sheets under your naked skin, before memories of the previous night come rushing in. You feel your face go hot as you remember everything that happened. I can’t believe that I really…with him…

You roll over, pressing your hand to the space he’d been in when you fell asleep together. The sheets are cold. He must have gotten up early, you think. You stamp down on the rising disappointment. I doubt he’s a cuddler…

Slipping out of bed, you make a face at the lingering stickiness between your legs. You start to make your way to the bathroom, before pausing. On the table where you shared dinner last night is a place setting for one, and what looks like a folded piece of paper sitting in front of the plate. Smiling faintly, you grab the card as you head into the bathroom for a quick wash, opening it and reading it on the way. In tidy, efficient handwriting, it says: 

My little beauty, I have work to do today, so you will not see me until dinner. You may read anything in my rooms that you wish; I cast a spell this morning upon your brow that will let you read our common tongue. Avail yourself of my bathroom. If you get hungry or thirsty, simply press your hand to your plate or cup and the food you want will appear.  Above all else: Do not leave this room! I cannot guarantee your safety if you do. I would not see you killed so soon after you’ve arrived.  Ganondorf

“Not until dinner, huh?” you murmur, disappointed. But you know that he’s a busy man, so you try not to take it personally. 

You soak in the tub until pruny, enjoying the way that you can stretch out in the water as much as you want, even floating at one point. But your stomach rumbles insistently at you, and so you finally get out, wrapping yourself in a big, fluffy towel and heading out to eat. Breakfast is delicious, hearty and filling, with a variety of fruits that burst on your tongue. 

And all the while, your mind is racing. Yesterday, so much happened that you couldn’t process it very well. (It didn’t help that you were very thoroughly distracted by a certain giant king, either.) But now that you’re alone without much to do, it all hits you like a truck. 

The Legend of Zelda is real. Ganondorf is real. And this isn’t a game. 

A part of you aches to go explore, wanting to see all the places you’ve only been to in pixelated form. But your lover’s warning gives you a healthy pause. This isn’t a game, and you were no warrior like Link. Odds are, if you were to meet one of Ganondorf’s minions, you would be killed. The thought made you shiver in fear. 

And so, once breakfast is done, you peruse his bookshelves. Leather-bound volumes sit proudly in neat rows, and scrolls are tidily piled in drawers. Titles in languages you can’t read decorate the spines and covers of many of the tomes, and some books give you such a bad feeling that you don’t dare to touch them. But there are a fair few that are written in Common, and thanks to the spell he placed on you, could be read just fine. You settle on a bestiary of various monsters, thinking to arm yourself with some knowledge at least, and settle down into Ganondorf’s huge armchair before the fire. 

This particular book is large to accommodate detailed pictures of monster anatomy, the binding sturdy and a muddy brown color. You read about the different monsters that one could encounter in the world, doing your best to commit them to memory. But when learning about their biology no longer holds your attention, you return to the bookshelves, looking for something different. 

And indeed, you find it. Sitting there amongst the tomes is a thick book, written in common: Magic Primer. “Primer…that’s for beginners,” you murmur, and pull the book out. As your fingers touch the binding, a gentle warmth flows up your arm. It makes you smile, hopeful that this will be something you’ll be able to learn. 

You quickly make your way back to the armchair, Ganondorf’s words from yesterday about your possible talent swirling through your mind. Excitedly, you crack the book open. 

New student of magic, this author says to you: above everything else, above natural talent, above raw power, the one thing that a learner of magic must remember to be is patient. Learning magic is akin to befriending a feral cat. If you try too hard, it will run from you. Not hard enough and it won’t be interested in what you have to offer. And if you do not guard yourself, it will rip your throat out.  As in all things, you must find balance, and be not discouraged if the power doesn’t immediately leap to your fingers.  Patience, student, will get you far further than anything else. 

“Patience,” you murmur. “Well, I’m stuck in this room until he gets tired of me, so I can do patience.” 

You turn the page. The first chapter is about meditation, and how important it is to beginners learning magic. “It is highly recommended that new students meditate for at least an hour before trying anything beyond this chapter. A chaotic mind will yield chaotic spells, which can be dangerous for new practitioners,” you murmur, reading aloud. 

You shift in place, following a diagram from the page about how you should sit. “Clearing one’s mind, for most people, is easier said than done. But it need not be full silence. A monotone hum can be even more effective than trying for nothing at all.”

You nod to yourself, lay your hands on your knees, close your eyes, and start humming. A soft, straight tone sound filters into the air around you as you focus on your breathing. You didn’t think you’d be any good at it, and it is difficult, trying not to latch on to the random thoughts that pop into your mind. But almost before you know it, the hour’s past. You shift, stretching out joints gone stiff from sitting in one place for so long. 

The second chapter details some easy first spells. “A light spell is always handy,” you read, “and relatively easy to do. Hold open your dominant hand and fill your thoughts with light. Keep in mind, light can take different forms. If you think about firelight, a flame will light in the air above your palm, so be cautious. The easiest and safest is to think about pure sunlight, as it will result in a simple glowing ball of light.” 

You open your hand above your knee and close your eyes. You think back to…just a few days ago, actually. On Earth, it’s the beginning of spring where you live, and the snows are beginning to melt. You’d stepped out of your door and felt the warm sun on your skin, the feeling pleasant enough to make you stop for a few moments just to enjoy it. 

It’s that feeling that you bring up. The light against your eyelids, the warmth on your face, the uplifting feeling it gave your spirit…so strong is the memory you nearly feel sunlight on your skin now. 

Wait… 

Your eyes snap open, and hovering above your palm is a baseball-sized orb of light, giving off a softly radiant glow. 

You gape it as it floats above your hand. You did magic. 

You did magic.

You did magic!!!

You’re so excited that your mental control over the spell is thrown out the window, and rather than just fade, it bursts into motes of light that slowly disappear, like a tiny firework that reflects your elation. You all but squeal in delight. “Holy shit, I can do magic!” 

Your stomach takes that moment to grumble, but you didn’t want to stop now. So you take up the book and move to the plate on the table. “Let’s see if I can figure out how to make the light stay without concentrating,” you murmur as the tray conjures you lunch. 

And so it is that later that night, when Ganondorf unlocks his door and enters his room, he’s met with dozens of globes of light, softly shining and floating in the air, and you in the process of making another, still only clad in a fluffy towel. 

He stares in shock as he watches you gently toss out another globe, which comes to rest a few inches from one that’s already made. He closes the door behind him, locks it, and snaps his fingers. At once, all the globes go out. You gasp, jumping in sudden fright as the room is suddenly much darker than it was, and you turn to look at him. Those golden eyes all but glaring down at you make you swallow. “Y-You’re back! Ganondorf, I-” 

“What do you think you are doing?” he all but growls at you. He walks toward you, slowly, and you feel your spine trying to disintegrate. You’ve never felt so small, so insignificant before in your life, like a gnat before a colossus. 

“I’m sorry, I…I found this book!” You hold out the primer in front of you like a shield. “I-I was just curious, I didn’t think it would actually work, but then I made a light, and-” 

You cut off with a yelp as he snatches the book from you, flipping through the first couple pages. He’s quiet for a few minutes, before uttering, “Have you tried any other spells?” 

“N-No! I swear, I only did the light spell!” you gasp. 

He closes the book and sighs as he takes in your terrified appearance. “...that is well then.” He offers you the book back, which you gingerly take. “I did not mean to frighten you. But magic can be dangerous to learn on one’s own. I would be cross if you’d burned up my room.” 

You figure that’s as close to an apology you’re likely to get from him, and your shoulders start to relax. A little, anyway. “I…I wouldn’t want to learn the more dangerous spells on my own anyway. I’m not stupid,” you mumble defensively.

“Glad to hear it,” he rumbles wryly. He tilts his head slightly, and despite himself a hint of  curiosity enters his gaze. “How long did it take you to perform the spell the first time? Tell me about your method.” 

You perk up, and you start grinning. “Okay, so, the book said that before you start on magic work for the day that you should meditate to calm your mind, so I did that. Then, the light spell said to ‘imagine a light source, but be careful if it’s fire.’ It suggested sunlight, so I just…” You explain to him your thought process. “...and when I opened my eyes it was there, above my palm!” 

He looks surprised. “That easily?” 

You nod eagerly. “That easily! I was so surprised and excited that the spell sorta burst, it was pretty.” 

“I see.” He looks thoughtful. Then he suddenly scoops you up with one arm and strides to the armchair, sitting and settling you into his lap. His arms wrap around your waist, and he curves his chest over your back. “Show me. Perform the spell again.” 

You’re a little breathless from being manhandled like that-one night in his presence wasn’t nearly enough to get you used to this. But you nod and close your eyes. “Give me a moment to settle my mind again.” 

Amusement enters his golden gaze, as if he knows exactly what you’re thinking. “Of course.” 

You both sit there in silence as you calm down. Though, it was easier said than done: the fact that you could sit cross-legged in Ganondorf’s lap and still have room left over was…very distracting. But eventually, your emotions settle, and you open your eyes. “Okay.” 

He watches you as you lift your hand, but he’s not just watching your physicality. He’s practiced enough in the arcane arts that he can feel other people’s energies. He hadn’t been kidding yesterday when he told you his thoughts about you and sorcery, but not just because your feelings were able to breach dimensional boundaries. He can feel a wealth of energy inside you, locked behind your world’s limitations. But upon traveling to a world where magic is common, those limitations were shattered, and now your energy flows freely. 

He watches as it travels from your heart and brain, the epicenters of magical force, down your arm, up through your palm to curve into a ball and burst into radiant light. It took all of two seconds. It hovers there, casting a cheerful light over the area. You grin up at him. 

He watches it for a moment. “Show me how you anchor it.” 

“Okay.” You close your eyes again. He watches just a tiny sliver of your energy break off from the main body of the pool available to you. It sticks through the ball of energy as if nailing it to a wall, and you take your hand away, letting it float there.Ganondorf reaches out, poking at the orb, trying to move it–but it stays firm. 

“...I have to admit, I am fairly impressed,” he finally says. You light up, almost brighter than the orb you’d created. “Do not get me wrong, this is a beginner spell. Creating light is not difficult for even children, once they have even a rudimentary grasp of their own energy. However…” He leans back in the armchair, looking thoughtful as you turn around in his lap to face him. “You performed this spell instantly the first time you tried it. That is rare. And to follow it up, in your first session ever using magic, with a holding technique?” He nods. “I will give credit where credit is due: that is very well done.” 

You beam happily at him. “Thank you! I didn’t think something like that would impress you, I’m honored.” 

He nods. “As you should be. However…this will be the last time that you practice magic by yourself.” 

You blink, your stomach sinking like a rock. “...why?” 

“Like I said, I do not want you burning down my room. I have too many important documents and relics in here. Instead, starting tomorrow, you will learn directly from me, in a training room much more suited.” 

Your jaw drops. “You…you’re going to teach me yourself?!”

“I am. Your potential is too great to leave to someone else. I will see to it personally.” 

“Holy shit,” you breathe, and he rumbles a chuckle in amusement. “I…well, I’ll do my best to learn.” 

“Of course you will. I do not expect any less.” He watches you for a long moment, before reaching forward and capturing your chin in between his thumb and forefinger. “Be warned: I will push you to your limits.” 

You swallow hard, but smile faintly. “I figured you would. You’re good at that.” 

His lips quirk up into a smirk, and he leans forward, so close his nose brushes yours. “Am I? Is my little beauty thinking of last night?” he purrs. 

Your heart rate ramps up, your eyes blowing wide. “I’m sitting in your lap and you’re about to kiss me. How could I not?” you whisper back. 

He abruptly grabs your hips, and he yanks you forward against his chest. “I do enjoy how eager you are, little one,” he whispers into your jawline, nipping playfully as his right hand lifts to curl gently around your throat. Heat explodes into your veins, and your gasp is music to his ears. “I like the thought that you are so eager, you would do anything I ask. Would you not?” 

You whimper, trembling at his touch, your hips already pressing forward into his. “V-Very nearly, yes,” you gasp. 

He chuckles, low and dark, the sound curling lithely into your core. “As I thought.” Then abruptly, he plucks you from his lap and stands you next to his chair. “However,” he says, standing as you sway a little, “I have not eaten anything since breakfast. Delicious as you are, you are not very filling.” He smirks down at you as he moves for the dining table. “I will save you for dessert.” 

You gape at his back in disbelief as he leaves you there. The heat is rapidly dissipating as you realize that he’d been only playing with you, and you huff, blushing darkly as you come over to take your seat at the table. “You’re a damn tease, Gan.” 

He flicks his hand at the covered platter, and when he removes the cloche there are slices of roasted beef, smelling of spices and something like wine. There’s also steamed vegetables, and on the other plates appear fresh fruit. It’s a very well rounded meal. “I do not recall giving you permission to shorten my name,” he muses, raising an eyebrow as he serves you a portion of the food. 

You flush faintly. “Well…your full name’s a bit of a mouthful.” Much like other things, you think, though you don’t say it out loud.

“Even so. One night of passion does not entitle you to such…familiarity. Not yet, anyway. You will call me Ganondorf, or my lord. Understood?” 

You glower at him. “If that’s what you want, then fine. But it feels weird being so formal with you, and not just because we…we had sex. I grew up knowing you and your stories, for God’s sake.” You pause as his eyes flick to yours. “How about a compromise? Can I call you Ganon?” 

His lips purse in disapproval. “I am not Ganon. Ganon is my bestial form, and you should know that.” 

“I do, but that doesn’t mean-”

“I have given you your options,” he says firmly. “If you cannot follow my wishes on such a minor subject, how am I to trust you to follow my orders when I teach you magic?” 

Despite yourself, you wince and look down. “All right…I’m sorry, Ganondorf.” 

“Apology accepted.” 

He goes quiet after that. You examine him as you both eat, though you try your best to be subtle about it. He’s perfectly mannered, but his eyes are miles away. You wonder what he’s thinking about, if there’s some problem with his plans. You wonder if it’s Link and Zelda…and that thought makes you freeze, your eyes going wide in sudden realization. 

“Could I ask you a question?” He grunts an affirmative. “If you die, am I stuck here?” 

He looks at you sharply. “Why are you thinking of my death?” 

You hold up your hands placatingly. “I’m not! I mean, I am, but not in-I don’t want you to die, that’s not what I meant. But generally, if you’re alive then Zelda and Link move against you, and that tends to lead to you dying. What if you die while I’m still here?” 

He stares at you for a long moment, before sighing. “If they were to slay me, yes, you would be stuck here. But they would not kill you, as you are not part of my plans. You are only my companion.” 

“All right…” You look down, swallowing slightly as you cut another piece of beef. “That would…kinda suck. I mean, not only do I not want you to die, but I wouldn’t know where to even start about living in a fantasy realm.” 

He snorts. “Yes, a world of much lower technology would be a culture shock for you. But once Zelda learns that you know about…all of us, I am sure she would provide for you.” 

“You think?” 

“Of course. Not only because she is kind, but because you would be a source of information for her.” 

You smile ruefully. “Wisdom.” 

The tone of your voice sounds almost resigned, and he chuckles without much humor. “Wisdom. You understand better than I thought you would.” 

“The outside perspective helps with that.” 

“Indeed.” 

It goes quiet again, save for the snap of the fireplace and the clink of utensils. Only once the food is gone does he turn to you. He smirks, his eyes roaming your form, and he flicks his fingers. The platter and plates disappear from the table. “Stand.” 

You flush, but you push your chair back and stand before him. “Good girl,” he rumbles, and the praise makes a shiver run up your spine. “Come closer.” 

You step forward, and as soon as you’re within reach he grasps you and lifts you from the floor, stripping the towel off and laying you face down on the table. You gasp as he pulls your hips up into the air, his enormous hands framing themselves around your ass cheeks. “Ganondorf!” 

He chuckles, a low, amused, aroused rumble as his eyes feast on the view before him. “Yes? I told you that I would have you for dessert, did I not?”

“You did, b-but I didn’t think you meant it literally!” 

He snorts. “Rarely am I anything but literal, little one. Now, unless you’re crying out in pleasure, hush.” 

You flush darkly as his thumbs pull your lower lips open. You glisten in the firelight, and in the light from the nearby candles, and he watches with relish as your weeping hole twitches in arousal. He says nothing, just emits a pleased near-growl as his eyes roam your folds. His right index finger hooks gently over your labia, leaving his thumb free to rub teasing circles over your entrance. A choked cry is muffled into the table top as all the eager nerves are stimulated around your hole, and he smiles when he feels your thigh muscles twitch under his left hand. 

His thumb suddenly sinks into you, punching a curse out of your lips. He plunges it in and out a couple times, watching the way your slick builds around the digit, before he pulls it out to swipe once over your clit. 

He chuckles as your hips buck. 

His right hand leaves your ass as he sinks one long, thick middle finger into you. Your fingernails scratch against the table top as that finger slowly undulates, and your hips move of their own accord, pressing back to meet his intruding digit. His left hand tightens on your hip, forcing you to stop. 

“You will move when I tell you to,” he growls, and all the while his finger continues to move, to slide along your slick walls. 

“P-Please,” you gasp in vain. You know after last night he doesn’t respond to your begging until he’s good and ready. 

He smirks, his golden eyes darkened and molten, as he watches your quivering cunt responding to him. He watches the way your clit engorges under its hood, wanting attention. He watches the way your juices drip down your folds, squelching around him. 

And then he adds a second, stretching you around his massive fingers. 

“FUCK,” you shout, your hips twisting against his grip as he slowly presses forward. His pace is achingly relaxed, not because he thinks you need him to go slow after last night, but to torment you, the sweetest torture. “Please, please, I-I need more!” 

“Is that so?” he replies, his tone as casual as if talking about the weather. 

“YES! Please, Ganondorf, please!” 

The second please is barely out of your mouth before his thumb is suddenly swiping rapidly over your clit, before his fingers in you suddenly piston rapidly. You shriek in pleasured surprise, your left arm shooting out and knocking a cup off the table with a clang. He laughs as you writhe against his hold. 

And then he slows back down. You whine in protest, feeling the beginnings of an orgasm fade back into your belly, and your clit throbs. 

He stands, suddenly, but your hips come with him, and you yelp as you hang upside down, your thighs hooking over his shoulders. Your face is pressed now against his clothed erection, his cock firm and hot against your cheek through his pants. His left arm is wrapped around your lower back to keep you there, while his right stays where it is, his fingers still deep in you.

 He says nothing, and you get no more warning, before his lips wrap gently around your clit. Your fingernails dig into his thighs and pleasure surges up your nerves like a lightning storm. His lips work gently around your clit, not sucking, just rubbing, and you choke on a sob of pleasure. 

You can feel it building again, the beginnings of your orgasm, rolling in the base of your belly as he works you with all the patience in the world. His hips never once twitch despite the massive erection under your face; he’s fully focused on you, on making you lose your mind in desperate need. 

Impaled on his fingers, orgasm building achingly slowly, his beard tickling your labia and inner-most thighs, you cry out his name like a prayer. 

Then his tongue begins to swirl rapid, tight circles on your jutting clit, and his fingers piston once more into your aching cunt, and you explode into blinding pressure and heat. He growls against you as your walls seize his fingers in a velvet vice, and before you could even realize that he’s pulled his pants down, you’re bent over the table and he’s pushing into you. You scream his name as his fingers keep rubbing your clit, your orgasm not stopping as his cock spears you open. He bends almost in two over you, biting down against your shoulder as your walls do their best to milk him. His hips slam into your ass, his cockhead hitting a spot inside you that sends lightning up your spine, and with a bellow he follows you into bliss. 

Your body buzzes as he empties himself into you, his teeth leaving your shoulder, replaced by his lips and his rapid breathes, exhaled through his nose. His hips keep pumping, slowly, sliding his softening cock through the mess he made of you. You whimper his name, going boneless on the table under him, shivering as sweat cools on your lower back, on your thighs, in your hairline. 

He gathers you up, making you gasp as his cock slips out of you, and he carries you into the bathroom. You smile tiredly against his shoulder as he lowers you into the water. “I have a feeling we’re going to be in here a lot,” you murmur. 

He smirks. “I have a feeling you may be right,” he rumbles as he sheds the rest of his clothes. “But I do not see you complaining about it.” 

His smug tone makes you want to argue…but you can’t. After all, your new favorite pastime is letting the Gerudo King turn you into a whimpering, dripping, desperate mess. 

Not that you’d say that out loud, anyway.

[littledigits]

thoughts on the cut episodes and ppls reactions 'n stuff

Since it was confirmed that a few more episodes of Hilda were written but cut, I do think the reaction of people finding this out is really interesting and not just because its fairly common in the industry and isint a sign of anything bad necessarily. I mean heck, in a weird way being behind the scenes and then seeing how people interpret things, what they take as important, what they think is a thread…all of that is interesting. When your job is basically trying to get people to pick up what you're putting down storywise its kind of a neat topic, because everyone communicates in their own way.

BTW before I keep going this is not a post to say dont crit/vent/complain/whatever about whatever the heck you want in hilda or any media, you do you. I think peoples honest takes are fascinating (said in victoria van gale voice) and even just people speaking their mind shows that they are interested and they care so that matters. Also not one singular post triggered this, its just been on my mind as I surface level read things so no stressies.

When It comes to the cut episodes, I'm seeing some people assume that whatever was cut would have fixed some of the crits they may have had about the season..and who knows, maybe yes? But I'd say ultimately probably not. Not because they dont include things that people want to see, or may have some topics people want expanded on ..but because thats just impossible in the grand scheme of things.

I mean this applies to shows in general, not just hilda. Every person who watches a show has their own idea of what the show represents to them. For some of its more of the surface events or characters where as others connect it with a deeper emotion. A lot of people respond to different tones of the episodes, which there are many. Some people prefer the one off adventures that stand alone as their own stories and others want to see more of a stronger through line. Some may see a new character and expect a new arc and thread, while others wonder why we couldn't've used a previously introduced character. Some may read between the lines more and others may take what is presented as very straight forward and literal …and no one is WRONG, because our big wrinkly brain meats all have their own tastes and ways of imputing information.

Television animation is rife with factors that actually futz with the quality and ability of the team to make a beautiful, amazing product like EVERY DAY. The script process and what goes into production is just one. The team is made up of many creatives all with their own varied experiences and voices just like the audience. In order for people to have their own voices and say, you are going to end up with some things that hit better then others, especially if the team is allowed to grow and experiment and play a little. Hilda has always been a show where we've been able to have a lot of creative say, and i think that sincerity comes through ! but with the sincerity and that humanity, it also means that there are going to be things that arnt going to make sense in the grand scheme of things lol. Even the writers and creators and producers have differing opinions on what to explore and dive into, probably more so then fandoms haha. Having more episodes may scratch some itches but not all, HECK, those episodes being cut could have re-allocated resources to other areas that helped elevate your fav ep of the season ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows! Schrodinger's episodes! (also ngl I was having cold sweats over the scope of some of them as cool as they were. The season may have been shorter but it was intense..it takes a long time to do stuff that looks that clean and crisp)

Imperfect art is very human! Do the best you can at the time with the factors you have. I was given so much trust and freedom on my episodes, and I was just happy to do something fun that allowed me and my team to grow and learn. I was fucking STOKED to get a one off story because it was way less pressure for me to take my next step directing cuz just doing the thing is a feat. Any sincerity you feel cant come through if that means we're afraid that we cant make mistakes, or do a story choice ppl wont vibe with. All you can do is do the best you can, see if people are picking up what you're putting down, and grow from it for next time.

Anyway, just a thought ramble. Its not to say do or dont do this or think this way blah blah. I just love that storytelling is messy and complex and everyones gonna take it a lil differently, especially if you have a team where you allow lots of voices to have input. It is all just a big experiment to see if people leave with a particular experience by putting your resources into the things you have that matter, and try you best to distract from burnt edges or patched up holes that happened throughout the process of making the dang thing lol.

[randomnumbers751650]

I finally have time to talk about Lone Trail. I will be focusing on its depiction of science, technology and its progress. Will get a bit political, but funnily enough less than I imagined.

The thing that called my attention most in Lone Trail were the discussions on the nature of scientific progress. This is a theme that’s dear to me and the stuff I research about. It’s easy to think of scientific progress like an inevitable march forward, like an escalator. After all, we are much richer than we were before, right? Go to OurWorldInData dot org to play around with economic statistics in time – make sure to check the World GDP chart, from year 0 to 2000 and see it taking off like a rocket from year 1700.

What kind of Uncle Ted fan or neoluddite would go against that? Haha…hah…

Truth is that, although its effects are there, it’s not a clear if this is the little, neat process techbros want us to believe. It’s new and produces more, therefore it’s good, right? I could be writing this as a new wave of AI-generated NFTs pollute my algorithm.

That’s what makes the storytelling in Arknights so effective: it mashes together fantasy and sci-fi to really tell stories on the role of beliefs, technology, science and religion. The Rhine Lab saga is definitely an exploration of technology, with focus on the equivalent of the United States. During the period before the First World War, 1870-1913 (which is the one that Arknights draws most from), the world underwent through the so-called Second Industrial Revolution and I’ve read economic historians considering it the most innovative period in human history. I mean, obviously, there is an absolute number of inventions in our current age, but in relative terms 1870-1913 experienced a much larger number relative to the previous one.

The escalator narrative constructs scientific achievements as work of daring people (mostly men, but there were women like Marie Cuire), that combined science and technology to help mankind, like Prometheus giving mankind fire from the gods (in fact, one of these books is even named “Prometheus Unbound”); more than often they have to fight against the establishment. Remember Ignaz von Semmelweis? He just wanted doctors to wash their hands. Even I learned this standard narrative in the university. But that’s not the entire story.

The positivistic paradigm – of a science free of value judgements, made with the power of math – has actually helped build this escalator narrative. In reality, some scientists and scholars are horrible people. Later, I learned that Semmelweis, as much as he campaigned for the right thing, was a very arrogant person, who abused everyone around him, to the point few people went to his funeral.

Narratives focusing on one single hero are easy to sell and the ones building them are always on the lookout. Remember how ten years ago, a lot of people tried to push the narrative Elon Musk was going to create a new industrial revolution? Nowadays he’s just an arrogant loser who keeps dragging on his midlife crisis. The 1880s also had similar people like that, such as Thomas Edison.

Kristen Wright is definitely better than them both, because she is actually an engineering genius. But she’s also just like them, in the sense of unethical experiments, collusion with the military-industrial complex and being an overall superficially charismatic, but rotten to the core person. And she’s surrounded by a lot of people like Parvis and Ferdinand.

Breaking this line of reason, I have to say how much I hate Nietzsche’s ubermensch and master-slave morality, I hate Great Men theory, I hate Ayn Rand; these people are sheep who think themselves wolves. And before you say that Nietzsche didn’t consider himself an ubermensch, well, neither did Parvis and his reasoning was the same. For every person fancying themselves ubermensch, there’s a lot of those whom he’d call untermensch to clean up their messes. You have no idea of how times I stumbled upon people (especially libertarians) that advocate lower barriers to regulations that were written in blood, so that progress can happen quicker. Creative destruction works, as long as some people get “creative” and others clean the “destruction”. Deaths and injuries? Acceptable, just give them a pension (but fight tooth and nail in the court to not do it beyond the barest of the bare minimum, because it’ll lower the shareholder profit in 0.01%). Increase in inequality? Nobody will care in a few years, it’ll make everything cheaper anyway (look up Baumol’s cost disease to see how wrong that statement is, without being incorrect). I’m not exaggerating, sometimes the people saying that don’t even bother lacing it in politically correct language.

Because Lone Trail showed it “worked” – Kristen Wright broke off the ceiling over Terra and that will have consequences (especially with Endfield coming closer). The data from her experiments will advance science, the sight of a broken ceiling will inspire artists and prompt politicians to act. Was it worth it? Well, it will depend on who you ask (like, Ifrit or Rosmontis would have strong feelings), but it’s just there now. Serious history isn’t kind on this question as well – many technologies have a lot of transgressions, both legal and ethical, in their supply chain (both the American and Soviet space program come to my mind – guess who helped them); the difference between an entrepreneur and a criminal are contextual, because both are finding new opportunities of profit and both interlock frequently.

In the end, anyone can put an equation that has its uses, not mattering if it’s a good person or not. But that is no excuse to find good ethical practices. Silence saw everything with her own eyes and I’m really glad she’s leading the initiative for a more ethical science in Columbia – especially because people who are willing to break moral rules tend also to be willing to break research rules (this is why the “research” made in concentration camps is actually useless, it didn’t respect experimental rules). So I’m really glad for the Arknights writers for understanding these nuances and communicating them to the audience through one of the best stories of the game.

[obscuremantisman]

man, i've lost idea of what i was writing, i'm just feeling like writing bout an old siren male reader. Would you guys like that?

Anyways, have this, some more of my random thoughts about Eyeless Jack, with a small scenario with you, i guess.

⪧ I appreciate criticism, ideas, and your opinions. ⪦

I feel like Jack's ritual proceeded with him getting shaved, thus why his eldritch form would be pretty much hairless.

He was unconscious, drugged hard so as not to struggle against the horrors he'd pass. But he shot up, he woke up to the pain inside his eyes, hot tar mixed with blood escaping his eyelids and burning his cheeks as he agonized.

He was cold, naked, and scared, the chains holding him down as he contorted and sparmed to get free. His screams echoed through the place as the cultists rushed to hold him down. He could hear them whisper among each other, this wasn't the way it was supposed to go.

Those were the last words that Jack Nyras heard, "We have to continue! we don't know if our master won't be back this way! Just-.." Before he was consumed by the pain and fell into the arms of death.

I honestly feel conflicted about how Eyeless Jack is mostly portrayed, i hate it more than i like it. He is so.. so cutesy? so casual, so, so very human (spooky).

He was human in the far past, and the whole ritual gives me the idea that he'd become numb towards his old self if he could ever remember anything about it.

What is that weird black around him that looks like a hoodie? It's his skin. One of my interpretations it's that the cultists poured hot tar mixed with blood not only on Jack's eyes, but on his body too. Whatever entity was trying to possess Jack, was shaping him from inside out as it tried to accomodate, using that mixture put on his body and fusing it to Jack's skin. It shaped his claws, it furthened his senses. Then the ritual stopped, the entity had left the unfit vessel, Jack woke up, woke up to hunger, woke up to fear, breaking out of his chains and feeling the primal instict for survival.

Although i think like that, i also think that the Eyeless Jack with a hoodie looks very cool, i love the idea of eldritch beings with casual clothing in general, and a hoodie does matches Jack.

But sadly i don't think any hoodie or pants is strong enough for that thing. He'd ruin any clothing in the span of hours to days.

Jack would probably look awkward in clothes too, i can imagine him act quite goofily while wearing them as it's such a weird experience for him. It'd rub agaisnt his skin as he moves, and it'd tingle his senses with the new sensations.

If you were to put somehow a shirt around Jack, you'd find yourself probably stifling a laugh at the way he looked in them. He'd be in a tense stance, feeling the fabric around with his claws, slowly creating holes on it while trying to figure out what in the world is that thing.

And apparently, the little tag on the shirt rubbed the back of Jack's neck in the wrong way few seconds later into his investigation. Which got him to be desperately hissing and clawing at the back of the shirt. You wouldn't be able to even do a thing because he'd be too agitated, his sharp claws going all around, but don't fret, it's not necessary for you to intervene. He's already shredded the shirt into pieces by the time you've opened your mouth to offer help.

I think it's neat that one headcanon that Eyeless Jack is actually able to remember about his past, like in most versions. It gives a little more of humanity to him, an extra layer of complexity that i don't think is explored enough and is just brushed off like nothing.

I feel like he'd be so different from his human counterpart since he's literally a newborn eldritch abomination. Like, the moment he woke up, it wouldn't really matter if he did have memories from the past or not.

One thing i see is the fact that people like to give Eyeless Jack some insecurities, which is neat, but the only real scenario of insecurity i can imagine that this thing would have is if he were to have a human companion. And if you're curious about what the insecurity would be, it'd be because of his smell. No, it's not because he eats humans nor his looks, he can't see nor can i even begin to imagine this dude having an existent patience to be docile to a human that actually cares about what's on his menu.

Oooo i forgot to talk his face! I just love the way he can be just anything behind that mask, but i most definitely do not think it's a hot dude behind it. I also don't have a fully formed view on how it is, but i like to imagine it to be haunting, worn out, a tragic tale of the past being told in his simple complexion. The people who draw him alien-like have a special place in my heart, for sure. Lots of teeth? funky teeth? an abnormal mouth? disgusting black goo that spills from time to time from a funky face? weird long sharp tongue? i looove it and i eat it up every damn time.

And the last subject i'd like to touch is about Eyeless Jack, what do i think it would be of him if he was able to somehow form a bond with someone? and what if it was you? yeah, it's impossible, bye. But on an actual note, you'd have to somehow survive against him, much like Mitch did. god i hate that guy, why is he canon?

Your relationship would start off as the expected, the prey and the predator, Jack trying to shred you into pieces and you escaping each damn time like a rascal. With a very, very long time that relationship subtly became friendlier. Jack would come around to stay in the kitchen, sniffing the air as you cooked, to steal your bed as rain poured outside and the weather dropped colder, and to in rare ocasions, drop by a few organs for you. He has tried to get you into eating these little gifts. Hisses, growling and teeth clanking definitely not convincing you in the slightest. Jack still happens to come around to hunt you, but those are rarer and they are definitely lazy attempts as the scars around your body from such encounters are lighter than others. Jack thinks of you as his human pet and you think of him as your eldritch pet, you two simply accepting the existence of each other.

Sorry for the big delay, i'm not in the epic writing mood, got lots of ideas in head.

[max-the-many]

Start here:

('body a day' #12: six)

#4

So it worked! Or at least I felt like beeing a whole lot closer to it. The calamity of the moment really seemed to help, although I was pretty confident that the energy was there before aswell.

I wanted more! I wanted to understand it! Although that cute guy, Neill, by the way, was pretty neat, I couldn't help but think of ways to explore my possibilities further. 

And as I ventured ways to do it I came up with an idea. But first, I really needed some time to settle a bit, so after finding some money in my pocket I treated myself with a little breakfast at a Café.

My idea was to go to a sauna. Chill environment, rarely many people. It was perfect! Or at least I hoped so. I frequently went for it ever since I tried it out years ago. So I headed towards the one near my flat, fortunate to have enough money left for it.

At that time it shouldn't be that crowded. Non the less I really felt my nerves going there, scanning each guy walking bye, even some girls, wondering how it'd feel like beeing them and even wondering, if there was others, looking at crotches, pecs, jawlines, movement in a very different way.

When I arrived I almost trembled at the checkin' as if at any point someone could catch me, know, what I was up to. Suddenly every look made me feel like they knew, they could see in my eyes, that I wasn't the guy they we're looking at.

So I was totally in my head when I ended up in the lockers, undressed and put the towel around my hips. Things did really come to me. To do my experiments in private was one thing, to confront myself out and about was on a totally different level. Or at least it felt like that now.

Slowly I got myself steady again. It wasn't as busy at the lockers either, so I found myself standing infront of the mirror, taking the view of that cute boy in for the first time since I left my neighbor so suddenly. He was such an eyesight. How his lean body moved with every breath, jis smooth chest, his probably very cute ass which I didn't examine at that point not to raise extra attention, although probably nobody wpuld have really cared. Or at least not in the way I was worried about.

I took a last inhale before I headed to the sauna area. It wasn't that big as it was mainly a part of the gym, consisting of three dry rooms with various temperatures, a diving pool and a cool down area.

I entered the first room randomly in deep need of just some space to get out of my head. It was empty, so I found a spot and tried to give my mind a rest. With every breath images emerged, bodies, sensations from the last days, weeks even since I found that orb, since I merged with it so intuitively as if my body was waiting for it, my soul, my self.

I got calmer, focused on my breath, the heat, ion the sweat building up on my body, that boyish body that wasn't that far from my own.

Eventually I circled back to my original plan. I felt ready. So I got up, out of the empty room, heading to the others. The locker room, as far as I could tell through the frosted glass doors, still wasn't that busy. But when I peaked into the tjird room there was somebody lying on the upper of three levels.

When I entered, I saw an older, daddyish guy, relaxing with closed eyes. His moderately hairy body really was quite well in shape, his front leg up so I couldn't see his otherwise uncovered manhood.

After a moment of entrance I devicided to sit right infront of him. This moment was as good as any.

So I sat down, tried to collect myself, trying to remember the feeling I had back infront of the couch. I started breathing deeper, my hands on my thighs, closed my eyes and focused on my body, my breath, the heat, the drops of sweat running along my skin.

But as soon as I started to feel myself stronger, I felt motion behind me.

It was the guy, bringing himself in an upright position. I looked up, nodded. And he repliedcbefore he got up to leave.

Well, bad timing, I thought. So I stayed. If it was the fact that I sat directly infront of him in an empty sauna, it would help following anyway.

I stayed calm, injoyed the heat, waited for my turn. And after a while, the door opened again. A lanky dude entered, longish hair. Why not, I thought.

He positioned himself across the small room, put his towel on the middle level and layed down. An opportunity as good as any.

So I focused again. This time noticably quicker, looked up once to see the guy closing his eyes.

Warmth, sweat, breathing in and out, my pulsing heart, the lifting chest. And there it was, small bzt noticable, that soecial kind of warmth, of energy, growing, expanding. And I was taking my time, trying to contain the rush, even expanding tome, space for it to develop naturally. And it did! Grew into my head, spreading tongle all across my body, making me almost dizzy.

But as soon as I felt it almost ready, almost burting through my chest I teared my eyes open, my pulse raising, my breath getting heavy, my mind screaming for help!

This is too much! My body, that body, I had to get out! So I grabbed my towel, pushed me up from the seat and rushed to the door, peering to that guy.

It was so close! That energy felt so strong! And I stumbled out, across the room towards the lockers without thinking, opening the door, already feeling better out of the heat, still feeling that glow in my chest, and as my eyes caught the sight of someone standing infront of the lockers my hand dove into my chest to return in sight with that glowing orb, headlessly aimong for that person, hand forst until I lost my conciousness...

---

My head pulsed when I returned, feeling tense, sitting on a bench. I lifted my hand to my forehead. It felt different, that I noticed right away, just before I realised something sitting on top of it. I opemed my eyes to see girthy thighs. Definately not the ones from cute Neill.

I looked around. Where was he! Still dizzy it took a moment until I saw him right besides me on the floor.

"Oh shit" I worried before going down to him.

"Are you OK!?"

Images of my own body appeared immediately. Not again! I felt his head. No blood. Felt his chest. It seemed to move.

Every inch of me begged for him to be ok. This sweet, pleasant boy! Enough that I took advantage of him!

I got closer, resting on my knees, turning him onto my thighs, covering his intimates with the towel he was still holding on to.

"He, talk to me" I gently stated, noticing my new, deeper voice. What body had I ended up in? I couldn't really make it out as I was hardly able to find my way before. The thighs though looked pretty promising.

But enough of that, I commanded myself. That boy needed to be save! I really couldn't bare it if I had caused any harm on him.

"Neill!" I spoke again, hardly aware of the fact, that knowing his name could really cause irritation. But whatever! He probably wasn't aware of anything anyways.

Then... a twitch on his eyes. This time, I kept myself from saying hus name again.

"Where..."

"Are you ok?"

He opened his eyes.

"I guess so" he replied faintly. "Who... "

"You just bursted out from that door!" I stated truthfully. But keeping myself out of this instantly made me feel the guilt, that I had. But what was I supposed to do. It wouldn't help anybody in any way.

I tried to help him stand up as he merely managed to keep the towel in place.

"I guess I... was in the sauna" he tried to make sense of all. "Puh... it really must have gotten into my head"

"Seems like it" I confirmed, relieved, that it seemed to start coming together for him. Or at least I hoped. "Better sit down for now"

It really felt awful to see him like that and made me think of my neighbour, and the guy on the beach... how did all of that affect them?

I turned to the locker, trying to act normal. Was that guy arriving or leaving? I just now realized that I only wore a cap and some pretty short shorts. The look down also revealed what appeared to be a beast of a body.

I grabbed the phone I saw in the open locker. No lock. What a relieve.

"See u at 10" I noticed a message. Seems like he just arrived.

But I didn't feel like seeing anybody like that at all. Plus I really craved seeing what body I ended up in. So I looked for a mirror and headed towards it after a quick check on the other guy. He still sat on the bench behind me, looking pretty wrecked but quite ok other than that.

So I went for the mirror. And what a sight it granted. The guy I literally crashed into was a hell of a beast, forcing a big chuckle to raise on his angled jawline.

"Not bad at all!" I let his voice sound again, feeling his neatly trimmed beard, marveling at his hefty pumped arm while moving it.

I couldn't help but snap a pic with his phone when I noticed Neill trying to get up.

I rushed towards him "Easy man! Don't overdo it! You really seem pretty challenged"

"All good. I already feel better" he stated, keeping his hand on the forehand while still having trouble keeping himself umright.

"Maybe you should lay down" I suggested, already starting to get him towards the door to the sauna. He didn't fight it so I managed to get him to one of the loungers in the cool down area.

He seemed rather ok there, so I left, not without slight worries, but I convinced myself that he'd be fine...

Next part:

[ex-mortis-evie]

!!CW!! Slightly trancy language, me being a huge dork

So in all the time I’ve been learning about hypnosis, there’s always been something that caught my attention, which is ironic considering the topic I’m about to discuss.

Focus objects.

So, what is that? Well, it’s just my own definition so don’t take it as gospel or anything, but a focus object is exactly what it sounds like: an object that’s used for focus in trance.

The most famous one is probably a spiral, but it’s less of an object and more of a visual.

In terms of objects though? The pendulum reigns supreme.

And how could it not? I mean, it’s pretty easy to find yourself rocking to the back and forth rhythm it creates with just a little bit of motion.

I think that’s why I’m so intrigued by the idea of focus objects, it’s the inane human mind connecting with something inhuman to create a state where the consciousness of humanity mixes with the lack of cognition inanimate objects, well, are.

I know, it sounds kinda dumb when I say it like that, it’s a more philosophical look on the idea I guess, it’s just the way my brain works.

But, it is pretty cool knowing that anything, and I mean anything can be a focus object.

Don’t believe me? Let’s discuss then.

Anything that the human mind can focus on is a focus object.

That’s the power of it right there.

It’s just up to you to find that special object that you can’t pry your eyes away from.

For me, it’s a candle’s wick.

The flicker of the flame, the warmth of the light as it hits my eyes, the glow seeming to outshine whatever else may be happening in my mind.

It’s a personal favorite of mine.

I’ve used a ton of different weird ones in sessions before, and I think it’s pretty neat seeing what enraptures each and every one of us like that.

Each mind is different, from what I’ve experienced. It’s what makes this weird world so wonderful.

It’s the time we spend together, discovering what makes a brain tick, and using that to create something special.

Focus objects are just a catalyst of that, really.

Discovering what makes our minds shut down with just a glance is a pretty fun experience.

And if I may get a little overboard nerdy here, the physics behind a focus object as well can even influence the way we go under.

For example, let’s imagine a pendulum swinging back and forth.

As it goes along, that motion is perpetual.

Not shifting an inch.

The same motion, over and over again.

That solid state of consistency as the swings increase and the mind relaxes creates this illusion of blurry back and forth rhythm that enchants the mind with its tricks.

And we can increase that too.

We can swing the pendulum in a wild motion, one that’s a little more chaotic and unpredictable.

Creating this sense of “catching up” that your mind has to do to follow the pendulum’s movements.

In that, the hypnotist can help pace their programming as your mind wants to focus on the pendulum even more in its inconsistency.

And while this may not work for everyone, some fall even greater for it.

That’s really where physics can play their part.

For me at least, it’s just another factor that can make trance that much sweeter for both parties.

Not only can you discover just how analytical your mind can be focusing on that motion, but you also find how the chaos can envelop itself within.

Your mind either keeps up with the more chaotic or the more rhythmic, and you can find that perfect balance between the two that works for you.

It’s what makes trance so phenomenal, it’s the air of discovery that comes along with the freedom of true mindlessness.

The brain’s a wild place to explore, and I can’t wait to explore more of it.

damn I’m a dork

[victoriadallonfan]

Mistborn: Well of Ascension Review

Is It Good: Yes

Does It Have Flaws: A lot

Is It Problematic: Sometimes

Would You Reread: No

Would You Recommend: Yes

Spoilers below

I’ve listened to positive and negative reviews of this book to help formulate my thoughts

So overall, I think there’s a great book buried underneath a slog of really repetitive material.

Brandon is great at writing a mystery, but it’s hindered by the fact that we get incredibly uninteresting scenes that just have Elend, Vin, Zane doing the same song and dance over and over again.

I was 200% more invested in Sazed investigating the Hero of Ages compared to the political drama Elend and Vin dealt with. Or Vin dealing with “wanting to wear a dress” (more on that later).

I really love how Eldritch and Sinister the cosmology is, even as I knew from Stormlight Archives what it would be. It’s handled far more horrific here in a good way compared to Stormlight, which was a letdown imo, so this was enjoyable.

I also really love Sazed’s magical abilities. Allomancy is neat, but the story points out that Mistborn are just.. so powerful they make other Allomancers feel pointless, worldbuilding wise. But Sazed’s powers are more limited while also being far more interesting in applications, so I loved that we got to see that more in depth.

Most of the characters are good, and enjoyable, even Breeze.

Now for the bad.

Breeze and Allrianne relationship is just… disgusting. I really don’t understand the purpose of having a near 40 year old man having sex with a barely legal woman who just recently turned legal iirc. Why was this added as a story beat? Why are some of the characters that aren’t Vin and OreSeur not more grossed out by it?

And no, having the “she seduces me!” reveal does not help.

Secondly, none of the antagonists are good. Sure, they are hateable, but they all lack any sort of impact. Zane is the worst because he is quite possibly the most cookie-cutter CW Bad Boy stereotype in existence, monologuing like a bad anime character about how “we are different”/“why do we listen to them?”/“they just don’t understand us” ala Lysanderoth. And he dies from the worst “reveal” I’ve ever seen; it was so cool how Vin used pewter dust to blind the Inquisitors and improvised weaponry to bypass the skill gap. Here it’s just: “Lmao I just wait to attack bypass your precog, get good”, which I’m pretty sure does not track at all with what we see in the first book (or this one).

Despite Lord Ruler having little presence in the first book, he at least had PRESENCE

Finally, the way this book handles women and skaa is just so odd. It feels as if the story/characters/Brandon treat women as having a hive mind for being obsessed with fashion; in fact, it’s part of Vins struggle that she loves dresses but can’t find the “strength” to wear them. Meanwhile, no male character obsessed over fashion nearly as much, even Breeze who admits part of his design is an act for others. Likewise, there’s no woman who thinks fashion is stupid or just indifferent.

I don’t hate the idea of Vin struggling with newfound femininity vs her own biases, but it’s just so blandly set up that I can’t feel invested.

And I will lose my damned mind if I have to hear one more “you can never understand a woman”/“teenage girls aren’t rational” comment, even from other women characters!

Also, besides Tyndl and Vin, there aren’t any really any women in power nor is that explored. Even Allrianne - who is just… meh as a character over all - has no political power without her father and she’s basically a femme fatale cliche as well. None of the Skaa have female leaders, for example.

And speaking of Skaa, those poor guys. Going from brave freedom fighters and rebellions, even prior to Kelsier, to idiots who are treated as fools who need the privileged Elend and his like to guide them all to the right answer (or they become manipulated or are in fact corrupt). I don’t even hate Elend, but the way Brandon puts him in this position is just such a shame. The story doesn’t even let him explore his ingrained classism or racism/specism for the Skaa or Kandra

Like I said, there’s a great book under all this stuff. But it’s pulled down by - in my opinion - a lot of faults that verge on problematic.

Good but it could be better

[queewp]

I wanna hear more about ur merturtle au pls. I think it's pretty neat and u have very squishy designs. Also is it okay to write fanfic of ur au? It wouldn't be much and it'll be my first time writing but I have a tentative idea.

OH!! Ofc u can use the designs // idea with credit ^^ If u ever write something, defo mention it to me on here so I can read it >:) The overall thing was originally just going to be fun ideas, and nothing major. Overall, basically everything is the same from the original, other than a few quirks and designs the turtles have. Leo would always make a snarky comment about how he'd have "The voice of a siren." Which ofc, Donnie would always correct. He's the fastest swimmer of the group, and is the one that usually dominates fighting fields. Ofc- only if he uses his brain, which he kinda needs to work on. Donnie on the other hand, had to figure out how to comfortably live his life out of the water, and be able to be happy with it. He's made a few adjustments, probably like keeping water in his battle shell and having a regular schedule to keep himself from not being too agitated. In this version ofc, he's made all of his equipment waterproof! Including Shelldon ofc!! Raph, as a thresher shark, I'd imagine his fighting style would change a bit. Ofc he'd still be the absolute tank, but I like to imagine he'd manage to kinda use his tail to his advantage. Like Splinter, he uses his tail as a weapon and can stun enemies And as the Raph fan I am, thought that maybe it'd be cool to explore a small idea: Raph's always been paranoid of his smile, of being too rough, of being too scary, etc. I want him to both understand his struggles and realize that those he really cares about just want to see the true him, and not a hand covering his sharp smile. Aka, some free angst I could mess around with ;) Mikey... i actually don't have a lot for him? He'd be a force of keeping the family together, kinda like in the cannon. He'd have the most colorful fighting style, especially when u add water to the mix! He'd be the one to make Raph realize how wrong he was about himself, he'd be the one to help Donnie with his designs, and he'd help Leo realize that a lot of the stuff that's happened to them wasn't his fault. Also, part of me would find it funny if HE was the one who had some sort of 'siren' 'mermaid' powers. Or this could just be me watching too much avatar and the last airbender- but i think it'd be funny if he could manipulate water, and have all that cool mermaid powers!! Just an idea tho ^^ NOW UH- sorry if that's a lot to read, so have this lil comic WIP. I probably won't finish it knowing me- it is my birthday after all, but I'm glad people are taking interest in my little au :]

[thedevilsdom]

dys x reader, dom reader, sub dys, slight voyeurism kink, phone sex

--

Sometimes you're the most amazing, most helpful person in the world. Sometimes you're pure evil.

Dys was on the receiving end of the latter today.

He'd taken a buggy out into the wilds to do some exploration, the tall, orange and mint green trees rising high into the sky around him. You were at home, tending to your duties as a professor of engineering. Unfortunately, you weren't able to join him this time, but from his assumption, school must have let out for the day.

Why would he assume that?

Probably from the nude you'd just sent him.

Your usually neat and clean teacher's outfit has been unbuttoned, and your pants unzipped, exposing your underwear and chest. Just a small tease, but it was already enough to have his mind racing. No matter how long you've been together, or what you've done with each other, he still had a... Virginal air about him. This was something you loved to take advantage of whenever you could.

He sends you a message while he steps through the forest. "really?"

You respond by slipping your shirt down off your shoulders and taking a better photo of your chest. He's thankful that nobody can see how red his face is all the way out here. He tosses a glance around him, making sure that Utopia is nowhere to be seen, before he ducks behind a thick trunked tree.

"Are you serious?" He sends back. You respond with a simple "of course I am", and a picture of your thumb hooked beneath your underwear and pants.

He can feel his cock getting hard in his pants. It's utterly shameful. He unbuttons the front of them and pulls his zipper down just as you send another photo, this one of your ass in your underwear, raised while you lay on your stomach in bed. You add the caption "I wish you were here to beg for the privilege to touch me❤️"

Dys can't even think, his fingers move on his holopalm faster than his brain can catch up, "Please" and he's humiliated afterwards that he sent that. Then in comes your response that has his cock growing hard and straining in his underwear.

"There's my good boy"

He shoves his hand down into his underwear, goosebumps growing up his arm at the sensation of contact. He can't believe that you're teasing him like this, when he's out in the wilds. He's knowledgeable on the wildlife, but even he doesn't know absolutely everything that roams around out here. He could get caught by something! The adrenaline made him want it even more. With his shaky free hand, he uses his holopalm to take a photo of himself with his hand down his pants and send it to you.

His hand is painfully dry, his leaking pre is helping but it's not enough. He wants your mouth. He wants your anything. His holopalm dings with another message from you. No, not a message. A call. He can't find it in himself to deny the call. Your voice rings resonant in his earpiece.

"HI, baby," You hum from the other side of the call. The only response you receive is a small, choked gasp. "Oh, you poor thing."

He whimpers.

"Did my darling get all needy from my pictures? You really don't have much self control, do you?" You say. Dys has always been a man of few words, one who would focus on one thing and chase that with no regard for anything else until he collapsed. That included you, the only person he could trust, the only one he could give control up to.

"I can't help it..." he whines from the other side of the call.

"It hasn't even been that long since the last time I helped you cum!" You giggle. "What if someone found you? What if Utopia spotted you? Or Sym?"

Dys can't stop the cry that punches out of him. He hurriedly claps a hand over his mouth while his other hand picks up speed against his cock. The idea of Sym finding him in such a state was addicting.

“Do you think he’d like the way I control you? Like my precious little doll?” You muse. Dys finds himself nodding, even though you can’t see him, his hair rubbing against the rough bark of the tree trunk he’s leaning on. “Ooh, do you think he’d want to join in?”

Dys’ legs can’t keep himself up anymore, even with the assistance of the tree behind him. He slides down, sitting ashamed on the forest floor.

“He might want to take the reins and boss you around a bit. He’d probably think of all sorts of creative positions to put you in! Or maybe he could be my pet too. I could order you to play with each other!”

He’s getting close. Shamefully close, all too quick. He’s gonna make an absolute mess in his underwear. He’ll have to drive back with his shorts full of cum. He’ll have to check back into the colony and try to keep himself from giving away how wrecked he just got.

“I’m gonna-!” He gasps out, hips fucking into his hand, chasing his release.

“No.”

With a yelp, he pulls his hand out of his underwear like he was burned. His cock throbs and twitches, desperate to cum.

“Wh-why?” He sobs. His body feels like it’s on fire, he can’t take this! 

“Just because,” He can imagine you laying on the bed, kicking your feet. “How fun would it be if I made you walk back into the colony all hard for me?”

“I can’t- I can’t!” He squeaks. That would be too much, you know it would be too much. But it still made his blood rush and heart race all the same. The idea of doing something so humiliating, like he was some teenage boy… He supposes that he doesn’t really care about what the colony thinks of him so…

“Oh my god, are you thinking about it?” You sound incredulous. You know that he gets off on the shame, if you do it right. “You’re so naughty!”

“Sh-shut up!” Dys’ legs and fingers are trembling, he wants to keep jerking off, you’ve gotten him so keyed up and all that energy has nowhere to go.

“I won’t make you do that, baby, not this time at least.”

He breathes a sigh of relief, tinged with just a little bit of disappointment. 

“You’ve been good, darling. You can cum for me, but I want you to describe how it feels.”

He slips his hand back down and starts rubbing again. He usually doesn’t have much to say, so it’ll be a struggle, but he doesn’t want you to make him stop again. And he wants to arouse you like how you do to him.

“It’s ah- it feels good,” He whines, “I want your hand though… I wish you were here, I nngh- it feels tight inside me, I wanna cum for you-”

“Yeah? Good boy, I wish I could be giving you little bite marks on your thighs, I know how much that drives you crazy.” You swear you can hear the sound of shifting fabric and skin against skin through your holopalm.

“I’m gonna cum I’mgonnacumpleaseletmecumforyou-”

“You can cum, baby.”

Dys cries out into the forest as his cock throbs in his hand, thighs trembling, he squirts cum into his boxers and watches as it wells up and spills through the fabric. His hips twitch forward again and again with each little spurt, each drop that pushes through his underwear, nothing more than soft moans and babbling leaving his lips. If he hadn’t already slid down onto the floor, he would have collapsed. 

You hear his shaky breath through the call, his chest rising and falling. 

“That’s my good boy.” He can hear your sultry smile in your voice, “You’re so precious, my darling.”

Dys wants nothing more than to curl up against you. He wants to be with you, he wants to feel safe like how he does when he’s with you. You must have heard his little squeaky sob while he buttoned his pants back up, because your voice filled his earpiece again.

“Come back home to me, baby.”

--

[jpitha]

Just a Little Further 5

Part 1 2 3 4

Dinner was amazing, as always. It really helped to give a sense of family to the crew that we all ate together whenever we could. There was a real effort to make dinner a whole crew affair and you could tell that Fer'resi and Mitchel really go all out for dinner.

As much as they tried, I could tell everyone was worried about me. "I'm sorry I scared you." I said, after we all sat down. "If I knew that was going to happen, I wouldn't have touched the directory stone, honest!"

A few tight smiles across the table. Fer'resi was the only one who didn't look worried for me. He looked... jealous? "It really is amazing that it happened Melody." He took a bite of food. "I think you're the first human to ever touch a directory stone. I know that you never really used them, and any of your ships that have an addressing module have a K'laxi one with K'laxi addresses in them. I wonder if it happens when any human touches it..." He trailed off.

"But, what does that mean?" Omar asks. Omar works with FarReach on the laser batteries and also the printer - he boasts he can make anything with FarReaches help, it's pretty neat!

Fer'resi shrugged. "Without any more humans touching any other directory stones, we have no idea. This one is clearly special, maybe it would have happened to anyone who touched it."

I took another sip of my coffee, it was my own supply and it was divine. "But, what about what Captain Q'ari said? She said you said I shouted in an unknown language?"

Gene nodded here. "It was super weird. It was like you were chanting or something. We recorded it, but FarReach and Far'resi both agree it's nothing known."

"I even tried working back from the phonemes to see if we could find something shared." FarReach said. "But other than the fact that it's pronounceable by humans and presumably K'laxi, that's all we know so far. For all we know, you were shouting the terms and conditions that we had to agree to use to use the Warp Gates!" FarReach chuckled at his own joke.

As dinner wound down and Chef Fer'resi brought out some treats and nuts to chew on, Captain Q'ari stood. "Okay. Now that we've eaten and talked about what happened yesterday-" This was my first indication that it's been a day since we were on the Gate asteroid. "-It's time to discuss next steps. Commander Perinem, if you would?"

Fer'resi stood from the table and walked to the head. Behind him a screen appeared with the tablet one side, and a listing of symbols on the other. "As I had mentioned previously, we have never come across a table with so many addresses before. These-" He clicked a remote and 15 of them were highlighted. "-represent every single address that is known to us currently. They're all here on this one table. Literally centuries of work finding and deciphering the various tables we've come across in space and they're all right here." He shook his head and smiled wryly. He clicked again and the rest lit up. "Which means that these other 35 addresses - or I should say, probable addresses - represent some other points in space unknown to us. At this point, I can only recommend starting from the top and entering them into the addressing module and see where they go. We could be methodical about it. Enter one, explore, come back here, enter another, explore, come back here and so on."

There was a murmur from everyone at the table. "But this means that this mission suddenly got a whole lot longer." That was Ava Williams, who works in environmental systems. She makes sure we have air to breath and water to drink and that our waste is processed safely.

Fer'resi nodded. "Yes. If we were to continue on without a break, I estimate that going to all thirty five addresses would take 5 years or so."

Upset noises from the table.

"But, that doesn't mean we have to do them all at once." Captain Q'ari said. "We've gone from figuring that we'd have two or three addresses to explore at most to thirty five. We've officially moved beyond our original scope. Let me tell you all here, we are not going to be gone five years. We will continue with our original plan of two or three addresses and then home. Then, another exploration team can be sent out to try the others. There is no reason to expect that we'll have to try them all."

"Additionally," Fer'resi added. "Most of them I suspect will be empty systems. You notice that I've said that we K'laxi have found 15 addresses. Yet, other than K'lax we only have two colony planets. We have 5 other Starbases not counting the Joint Human/K'laxi Starbase Picaresque which means than 6 of the addresses known to us go to empty systems. It's entirely likely that the majority of addresses we have here also go to empty systems. We could visit quiet a few quickly if that's the case."

Kieran asks "So then, where should we go first?"

Captain Q'ari replies. "As Fer'resi mentioned, unless someone has a better plan, we were just going to go to the first address on the list and work our way dow-"

"No." I said, interrupting. "Start with W̷̮̱̿͝ï̵̠̜͛̀l̶̜̞͛̇Ð̵̼͕̾̇§̷̯̩̈́̔ ̷̰͚̅̋ð̴̧̞͐̕£̴̞̻̐͘ ̶͇͍̀̈́ß̵̤͇̉͗ê̵͍̦̑̈'̶̯̭̓̕m̸͉̖̂̒å̷͎̍̃ͅŗ̸͖̋͛å̷͇̘͋͆."

Everyone stopped and turned as one to look at me. I blushed a deep crimson red.

Mei'la was the first to recover. "Uh, what was that?"

"I don't know! I just know that's the one we should start with."

"O-Okay." Captain Q'ari said. "Can you tell us why?"

"Um..." I wracked my brain. "It's the one that... feels right."

"So wait." Gene looked at the list and then back at me. "You can read them?"

"No? Er Yes? Er I don't know?" I was starting to get a headache.

"Okay then," Fer'resi said kindly. "Which one is W̷̮̱̿͝ï̵̠̜͛̀-- er the one you said?"

"5th one down."

They all stared at the entry. "I mean, maybe because we've been told to look at that one... " Mitchel says cautiously "But it does look a little different than the others. Is the text like, bolder? More prominent?"

There were murmurs of agreement.

"Fascinating." Fer'resi said, looking at it closer. "I do believe you are correct.

Captain Q'ari shrugged. "It's as good of an option as any. Maybe even better than any. Does anyone have an objection to taking Melody's suggestion."

Nobody had an objection.

"Then it's settled. Tomorrow morning, we'll put that address into the addressing module and activate the Gate.

****

The next day, after breakfast we all gathered on the Command Deck. With there being only 12 of us, there was room, though it was tight. FarReach said that they would watch the systems so that everyone could see the gate activate.

"Lieutenant Mullen." Captain Q'ari's uniform was pressed, fresh and sharp. I think she brushed her fur until it shone too. "Has your address been entered into the addressing module?"

Hah. My Address.

"Yes Captain. The entry for W̷̮̱̿͝ï̵̠̜͛̀l̶̜̞͛̇Ð̵̼͕̾̇§̷̯̩̈́̔ ̷̰͚̅̋ð̴̧̞͐̕£̴̞̻̐͘ ̶͇͍̀̈́ß̵̤͇̉͗ê̵͍̦̑̈'̶̯̭̓̕m̸͉̖̂̒å̷͎̍̃ͅŗ̸͖̋͛å̷͇̘͋͆." has been input." Funny. The more I say it, the easier it is to say. I'm still not sure what the words mean though.

"FarReach, are we ready to depart?"

"Yes Captain. All systems are green. We can leave at your command"

"Lieutenant Mullen. Activate the Gate."

Like I did the first time we arrived, I sent the hello ping to the gate. This time, with an address entered into the module, the Gate reacted differently.

The ring out in space that was attached to the asteroid started to glow. Dim at first but with a blue almost like Cherenkov radiation it started to grow in intensity. Growing almost painfully bright, the blue increased in intensity until there was a flash and a sensation of almost like being on a dinghy in heavy seas. a feeling of up and then down and..

"The gate has responded and is active. We may traverse." I said, more calmly than I felt.

Captain Q'ari nodded. "Proceed best speed, FarReach. Traverse the gate."

As we approached, it was almost like the Gate got further from us the closer we got to it. I knew it was some kind of optical illusion and our reports about Gate traversal and our own experience said it happens, but every time it's still weird to see.

We touched the gate and...

A rumble and tinkle of debris

"Hard contact!" Gene shouts, peering at his station. "We've entered a debris field."

"It's pretty messy out here" FarReach addd. "Nothing too large. I don't think we'll be damaged so long as we go slow."

"Proceed best speed then FarReach" Captain Q'ari says, stoically. "Release point defense array to destroy any debris that gets too close."

From his station on the Command Deck, Omar confirms. "Point defense aye. Free and tracking."

"Lieutenant Mullen, any contact?"

I'm scanning the area but it appears like there's nothing. "Negative contact. Active scanning with friendly K'laxi and Human signals, no reply."

As we proceed along at a very slow pace, the amount of noise from the debris field lessens until FarReach says "We have traversed the debris field. Recommend we stop and get our bearings."

Captain Q'ari nods. "Agreed. All stop relative to Gate." There is a little feeling of movement as thrusters fire and then it dissipates. "Commander Desmen. Tell us where we are please."

Um'reli Desmen is a short K'laxi with fiery red fur. She's our navigator and is extremely skilled. She's served on many K'alxi ships and this is her first tour with a joint crew.

"Aye Captain. Scanning stars for known pulsars and magnetars, one moment."

While she works, we all busy ourselves with other tasks, though I'm pretty sure we're just really waiting for word about where we are. The Captain says we can order a beverage if we want. I request some coffee and Q'ari gets tea, but everyone else abstains.

After about a half an hour Um'reli speaks up, visibly distressed. "Captain. I think I have our location narrowed down. I apologize for the delay, I ran the numbers 3 times to make sure they were correct."

"That's all right Commander. Where are we?"

She gulps. She doesn't want to say.

"Captain. As near as I can tell, we've traversed the diameter of the Milky Way. We're about 95,000 light years from home."

My head gets light. Ninety Five Thousand Light-Years from home. If we could train a camera on Earth, the light we'd just be getting now would be from before the last Ice Age. The first ever recorded houses would be busily being built.

Captain Q'ari stares at her, mouth open slightly. "Commander, are you sure?"

She nods. "Yes Captain. Within my ability to be able to measure, and confirmed with sighting of 4 known pulsars and 2 magnetars for triangulation. We're on the other side of the Milky Way."

She blinks "FarReach. Can we link home?"

A pause.

A longer pause.

"Captain Q'ari, I'm not sure. I know the coordinates of The Joint Human/K'laxi Starbase Picaresque but I don't know if we have the power to make a link that deep. It's never been attempted. I'm going to conservatively say no, that's too far to link. If we get into a bind or it's an emergency, I'd be willing to try it, but for now... I think we're stuck traveling the Gates."

Just then, my station lights up. "Contact. We're being pinged." I say, shakily.

Part 6

[askmarshandbroflovski]

In response

((OOC

i checked this blog today to make sure it hadnt been deleted and saw a few things in the inbox. i want to clear up a couple of things. if this is the last post to ever hit this blog, so be it, but heres the endcase:

no, i decided not to make the end comic. i wrote this story nine years ago with someone i loved very much. it sort of became a net for my feelings about my loss and addiction. it was messy and weird and put a lot of my perspectives on display. ive been clean for two years now and i think its okay not to tie up this story with a neat end. like stan and kyle, i graduated and i got older and i have a career. thats all it would have been. i would have tried to ascribe some deeper meaning to making a dumb thing in high school, and i would have tried really hard to make it feel like the way things were back then were okay. i dont really feel like revisiting it. comics are hard. it took me a very long time to write and create something that can be read in maybe an afternoon. maybe you just had to be there. by following stan and kyle for as long as it took, you followed me and my coming to grips with being a person. really, this was just longform vent art about whatever dumb bullshit occurs to a high school junior. but i know it helped some people and entertained some other people so, i will be leaving it up. i just dont think ill ever slap a neat bow on it. my story wont have a neat end and neither will stan and kyles.

no, i wont end the craig blog either. i havent logged into that one in a while and i think if tumblr wants to wash it away thats okay. it was a way for me to reclaim some control over a narrative and maybe explore some deeper feelings (surprise, my birth father Also went missing, who knew) but it ultimately didnt amount to much. whatever happened to craig is up to you. my interpretation wasnt liked much anyway, and to have an askblog, you need people to be curious about the premise. i didnt connect as much with it and the frustration associated with running a project like that outweighed whatever i got out of it. i still dont know what that was.

anyway. i moved onto writing dnd campaigns and i am still alive. i still make art sometimes. i still get anxious when i see the inbox notifs, but these days, 9 times out of 10 its spam. i hope you guys all liked the south park post-pandemic aged up specials. i didnt, but im nitpicky and kind of bitter about the idea altogether. i havent seen an active askblog since 2017 but hey. be nice to people who make things. if you feel so inclined, maybe go make something for yourself. id like to thank the people who were curious and had fun here. id like to thank sekrit, neggy, rachel, five, ozzy and nadia. id like to thank everyone who let me tell my story. its just not over yet.

[altruistic-meme]

Okay i was originally going to try to make a nice and neat little post about heartstopper and some of my thoughts, as well as a separate post about what i like about the comics vs. the tv show. 

Uh. So. I can’t actually corral my thoughts to be coherent enough for that, so here are some various assorted thoughts about it all instead <3 put under a cut bc it is long and rambley and a mess

[spoiler warning for the comics if you haven't read them]

Idk what it is, but I love comic Charlie a LOT. Like. A LOT a lot. There is just something about his character in the comics, his banter, the way he behaves that I love so much more in the comics than the show. I feel almost like the characters aren’t quite the same person, though I do love them both. I just connected so much more with comic Charlie.

Semi-related but I also feel like we get a much more clear picture of his OCD and the attached anxieties in the comics. 

HMMM okay or maybe not. Idk. I think maybe we can see more of Charlie’s OCD in the show through his desire to make everything easy and perfect for Nick, even when it hurts him too. 

He’s popular in the comics!!! It’s mentioned multiple times by other characters that Charlie is popular at school!!! And I think that’s actually a really interesting look at his character. He was bullied for most of y9 and yet the rugby lads think he’s a popular kid in y10. Despite this, we don’t actually see Charlie interacting with basically anyone but the other main characters, and I think that kind of reflects how Charlie views himself. On the way back from Paris, he asks Nick “does this mean I’m a cool kid now?” he doesn’t think people see him as cool but like I said, other characters have said he’s popular. They must have gotten that idea from SOMEWHERE right? But Charlie’s own poor self-esteem means he still doesn’t actually believe he’s cool or that people like him. I don’t know if there was a point to this rant but. Charlie is a popular boy.

I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE KIDS WHO STOPPED THE BULLYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, in the comics Charlie really is a nerd in a way he isn’t in the show. He helps Nick with his math and yells at him for distracting him from his homework. I get why this change happened in the show–it gives us a better idea of the strained relationship that Charlie has with his mom while also showing us that his dad tries to support him but often fails–but I really like it in the comics because Nick calls him a nerd but it’s less obvious in the show how nerdy he really is. 

That said obviously I also ADORE getting to explore the other characters and their lives and everything in the show. I love getting to see more of them. (But I also love how we DON’T always get all the information in the comics, but that’s just because I love when there are background stories happening that we don’t see through the main storyline. This event/love is not unique to Heartstopper) 

I love Imogen!!! I really like that it’s showing her as someone who is sort trying to become friends with the group and that isn’t always a fast or easy process. She goes to the sleepover with them and she hangs out with them in Paris, but she’s doesn’t leave Prom with them or anything. Also, I love the possibility that she is discovering that she’s queer too!! And that her halfway joining of their friend group leads to her discovering herself bc i feel like that’s so true to real life.

I am so curious about the Isaac vs. Aled thing and I wonder if Aled will appear in one of the later seasons, or if he is just not in the show at all. And Isaac! I assume he’s in some extra content I haven’t seen? Don’t get me wrong ofc, I love Isaac and his storyline is SO SO IMPORTANT as someone who is asexual myself. I am so glad that there is the representation of someone discovering that they’re aroace. I do assume that’s part of the reason for him being the 4th friend as opposed to Aled? Idk. 

I’M SO SAD ABOUT OLIVER BEING COMPLETELY OMITTED FROM THE SHOW!!! I assume there is an interview or something where Alice Oseman explains why Oliver wasn’t in the show, but I haven’t seen it and rn I will simply cry about it. I love him and I wish he had been included. 

I am also SO CURIOUS how the rest of the show will look!! I know that I read somewhere that s3 should be the contents of book 4, and that s4/s5 if they get them would be books 5/6 respectively. And I’m so intrigued. Because book 4 is the heaviest of them all so far, and I wonder how it will be translated to the screen. Especially the Sept-Dec timeskip! Will we see that time, especially considering the other character’s storylines??? This wasn’t an issue in the comics since they focus solely on Nick/Charlie, but with all of the other characters it would be more difficult to just skip that whole time. Will it just be a summary of events like in the comics, with flashes to what has happened? Or will we get a more explicit idea of everything?? (probably not including Charlie’s sh relapses or the night in October, but maybe the This Winter content???) i am SO excited for October though so all my questions can be answered :’)

OH something that was super interesting to me was a very small change in dialogue during the scene where Charlie first tells Nick about his sh. In the show, when Nick asks if he still does it Charlie just says “No.” but in the comics he says “No! I mean- hardly ever” and it’s such a small change but it speaks volumes too in the difference between the comic and the show. I’m not really sure what it’s saying though. Was show Charlie just more consistently in a better place where he feels like it’s stopped and won’t happen again? Was comic Charlie just more honest in this moment in acknowledging that it has still happened since? I’m not sure!!! But i’ve spent WAYYY too much time thinking about this one tiny change in dialogue!!!

Another thing is like, I really liked how the comics handled Nick’s dad. Them not meeting in Paris and then him missing Nick’s birthday. It really hits hard exactly how negligent he is, and it gives space for Charlie to be there for Nick when he’s upset. I do like how it went in the show as well, because it does still get everything across beautifully, but idk. I think mostly I’m just remembering the shot of Nick opening the door to greet Charlie on his birthday looking heartbroken and upset about his dad canceling and how hard that hit when i first read it. (keep in mind that i watched the show before reading the comics, so i was surprised at first to learn that they didn’t meet up in Paris! Let alone that he missed Nick’s birthday TOO!!)

Okay I think that’s it for right now. I have largely been spinning comic Charlie in the microwave in my mind bc OUGH i relate to him too much. I will probably come back at some point with more thoughts, but until then. Hope you enjoyed my brief insanity.

[skull-ishcloud]

Saw your post about Rick not really having great execution, and...yeah that checks out.

I think one of my biggest gripes with the Heroes of Olympus is that a lot of things just...aren't followed through? Like, don't get me wrong, I still like the series, but there are some things that kind of bother me.

The one that really sticks out to me is the whole Tartarus aftermath. Like, there had to have been some sort of trauma response Percy and Annabeth went through. I know it was a middle grade series, but it just felt super glossed over, like Rick didn't want to have to deal with those consequences. Same for Nico and him being in Tartarus too.

Another thing is that I wish there had been more depth to Hazel and her own trauma with being brought back from the dead. Like, she seems to be SUPER well adjusted, but didn't she only just come back from the underworld? Again, it just felt like Rick didn't follow through.

And the whole Calypso and Leo thing bugs me just as much.

Sorry for the essay, lol. Your post kinda just awoke some feelings I had about Rick and his writing. Incidentally, this is why I'm not too thrilled for "The Sun and the Star." I'm worried it won't be executed well.

Don't ever be sorry for making an essay out of an interest of yours. I loved it btw...

I agree with you specially on the Tartarus part, I feel like he is trying to explore too much of it suddenly. Like it's a rite of passage or something. Percabeth theorically got a "bonding period" so solangelo has to get one too.

I don't know... I think the Bob thing is important and all, but idk about you but for me his case was pretty much closed like he died in HoO. Like he could have gone to somewhere else like a new idea. Explore Nico's trauma as you said.

In my opinion he is just trying to sell more books using the same characters through some kind of fan service. Like let's release a random ass book Abt Percy getting into college, or Nico and his boyfriend bc he's gay and he has to have a romantic partner. (I'm not gonna lie I thought solangelo was pretty neat at first but that love at first sight bothered me)

Don't get me wrong I think wills character (as an idea) is nice like you don't have to punch people to be important. You can help people, even if your history only remembers killers. But like Magnus (Chase) is kinda like this already so... He just recycled the character.

Oh almost forgot about hazel... I think it's super important like her interaction with 21st century, like the only mention (I remember) is chicken nuggets, so basically it's just used as humor. "She's old lol"

On caleo I feel like I don't even need to elaborate. Cause like it's CALEO. It's damsel-in-distress Calypso. It's totally-not-ready-for-a-relationship Leo. And RR's amatonnorm "fase".

[perpetualexistence]

Noah's Development in the Alley Cats AU

Noah's character development is about accepting the fact that he's questioning his sexuality and that it's okay to not know something about himself. That definitely wasn't where the idea started. Going into this AU, all I knew is that I wanted Noah to have been exiled because he had beef with Justin, tried to 'Hell Hath No Fury' him, and lost. As I started thinking about what kind of conflict to give them, I couldn't help but think of the oldest trick in the book: the jilted lover. I love me some delicious irony in having a logical character being the one with the bleeding heart.

As I started thinking about, I couldn't help but do what I normally do when writing conflict: Think about why the characters are actually made at each other. I was tempted to just make it about pride, but then my mind wandered, as it tends to do, and I started thinking about Noah's sexuality.

Part of it was inspired by this post about Noah being a queercoded character. Please do give it a read if you like looking at queer analysis/rep in media. For me, even when I ship something like Noaheather I don't do so by making Noah straight. It just doesn't sit right with me. I'd make him any other letter in the LGBTQ+ umbrella that still makes it work rather than straight.

I know the fandom's probably got my back with this one given how the biggest ships with Noah are Alenoah, Noco, and Nowen. So why decide to make him Questioning? Well, it's simple. I haven't really seen many narratives that dive into it. I thought it'd be neat to explore if the answer really was just 'I don't know' and learning how to be alright with that. Particularly for a know-it-all character like Noah for whom admitting he doesn't know something would be worse than death. It gives him room to grow, AND it explores something I haven't really seen others dive into. I'm still going to do my best to not have that be the only thing about him, of course. He's still going to do sillies, get revenge, and be a sarcastic little shit.

Ultimately, by whatever the endgame of this AU ends up being, I'm not going to have him decide on a label. He'll still be figuring out what/who he likes or doesn't like. Maybe he's in a transition phase, maybe he is still just asexual all along with occasional bits of attraction. Either way, the important thing is the rest of Team CIRRRRH has his back no matter what.

I'm actually going to fight against myself by not shipping him with anyone in this AU. I want to see what'll happen if I just focus on their platonic interactions. I'm not going to completely turn down the idea of something like a queer platonic relationship. But I'm going to do my best to hold off on romance just to see what'll happen. Of course, if any of you guys want to ship them within this AU, don't let me stop you.

That's been Perp on her soap box. Next time we get to this AU, we're going to see how resident angry girl found herself in the social hierarchy time out zone.