#I keep forgetting to post things on here too

[snottyped]

i loved the werewolf roommate story on ao3! could we have it posted here too? and may i request a part 2 where he fucks reader in his full wolf form after trying to keep her away while he turned in case he couldn’t control himself and hurt her but he ends up hunting her down (and he’s even bigger in this form too) 🙏

still not done

werewolf x female reader (continuation of this)

The wind bit cold, but your skin burned.

The full moon sat high, bathing the forest in silver as you crept through the trees, heart pounding louder than your footsteps. You should’ve listened when he told you to stay. Begged you, even—voice ragged, eyes glowing gold.

“If I change near you, I might not stop. I might hurt you.”

But what he didn’t understand was—you didn’t want him to stop.

You felt it every time he touched you. The heat in his gaze. The way he held back like he was afraid he’d ruin you. Like he wanted to tear you apart and worship the pieces. You needed him to snap.

And he did.

So when you were in the forest he heard him. His low grunts vibrated through the trees. And an abrupt loud crash sounded in front of you.

He lunged from the dark.

A beast of muscle and fur, twice the size of any natural wolf, with gleaming teeth and wild, intelligent eyes. He pinned you before you could breathe, massive paw on your back, shoving you down into the moss.

You gasped, your ass up but didn’t fight. During your walk in the forest you didn’t put on any panties only a simple dress. Cunt open and free for all to see. For him to see.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he snarled—thought,—hot breath flooding your ear. “But you smell…fuck, you smell like me.”

You moaned when he sniffed at your soaked thighs, nuzzling between them with a deep growl that shook the ground.

“Wet for me already? You want the beast that bad, little mate?”

You whimpered. “Y-Yes… please, I need—”

“Need what? Say it. Say you want to be fucked by your monster.”

Your back arched more, lips trembling. “Want you to knot me. Fill me. Breed me. I’m yours—please.”

That was his breaking point. Such a sweet thing you are.

He might’ve howled but you paid it no mind as he sprung his cock and in one brutal thrust, he fucked himself inside you—warm, fat, and inhumanly big. You whined, clawing the dirt, body stretching to take his cock, the heavy ridges dragging against sensitive walls as he bottomed out with a loud, wet shluck.

“I missed you. Taking all of me like a good little mate. Gonna ruin you.”

His hips snapped into yours with punishing force, your fat pussy squelching with every thrust.

Your pussy was dripping with need and want. The noises leaving it full of desperation and lust.

His heavy balls slapped against you, your moans breaking into gasps with every thrust as he buried himself again and again, his large dick splitting you open.

“Hear that? That’s how desperate this cunt is.”

Slap. Slap.

“Soaked and sloppy. You were made for me.”

“God, yes—more, please, more—!”

He bent low, huge body enveloping yours, his tongue dragging up your spine as he rutted deeper, faster—snarling in your ear. “Gonna knot you so deep you’ll never forget who you belong to. Say it. Who owns this tight little hole?”

“You! It’s yours! Knot me—fuck!—fill me—!”

Then you felt it. The swelling. His knot was growing and god, did it feel great.

“Take it. Accept it.” he growled, slamming in harder as the bulb at the base of his cock swelled, forcing its way past your entrance with a lewd, wet pop.

Your sobs echoed through the trees.

“Oh f—uckk, yes! Don’t stop—don’t stop—!”

“Too late now,” he grunted, hips grinding deep as the knot locked in place, sealing you around him. “You’re stuck with me. Full of me. And I’m not done.”

Hot, thick spurts of cum flooded your womb, pulsing in waves as he held you pinned, cock twitching deep inside. His cum was so gooey and it came out from your pussy in globs.

You moaned, head falling forward, body trembling from the stretch, the heat, the fullness.

“Gonna pump you so full, you’ll be dripping for days.”

His dick was pulsing in you. Spurt.

“Gonna knock you up first heat, fuck a pup into this tight, greedy little body.”

Spurt. Spurt. Spurt.

You whimpered, pussy squeezing him, sucking around the knot like it needed every drop. You were dizzy, drunk on him.

“Please,” you whispered, “more… I want it all…”

He growled in satisfaction, shifting just enough to bite gently at your shoulder—claiming you in every way a wolf could.

And as his cock hammered, still spilling warmth deep inside, you felt sated.

Your body was limp, skin slick with sweat and pleasure. The knot inside you quivered still, locking you down on his cock like a brand. You could feel every twitch, every pulse, as his thick cum filled you—warm, endless, dripping slowly from the tight seal he’d made in your cunt.

You were wrecked. Shaking. Gasping. Barely able to lift your head.

And he was watching you.

That huge, hulking wolf form hovered over your back, eyes glowing, tongue lolling slightly between fangs—panting. Nowhere near done it seemed.

“So full aren’t you?” His voice echoed through your thoughts.

You moaned when he shifted just slightly—knot tugging inside you, dragging against swollen, sensitive flesh. Your whole body jumped.

“Fuck—please,” you mewled, unsure if you wanted more or mercy.

But he already knew.

Just a little at first—a testing roll of his hips. A wet schlck, knot grinding slow against your stretched entrance. You sobbed, back arching as your pussy clenched, still sensitive, still greedy.

“Oh my god—ah—fuck, please—!”

“That’s it. Moan for me. Gonna give you more. Fill you again. Until you break or breed, whichever comes first.”

He snarled, rutting harder, tugging the knot with each thrust until you were crying out, clawing at the ground as your cunt squelched around him, every wet sound echoing through the forest.

Slchk. Slchk. Slap.

Your body trembled violently, the knot punching against your soppy, overused walls, teasing the edge of pulling free before slamming back in.

Squish. Slchk.

You screamed his name—whimpering like a bitch in heat as he used you, bred you, loved you the only way a beast like him could.

“More,” he growled, possessive, voice ragged and deeper now.

“Take more. You were made for this. For me. For my cock. My knot.”

You nodded frantically, tears slipping down your cheeks from sheer intensity, lips parted as you moaned, drooled, begged—

“More, want your pups—fuck—!”

And then it happened.

Another hot, violent wave of his release—pulsing from deep inside his thick length, gushing into your womb. You could feel his boiling creamy cum flooding you so hard it was squished out around the knot, dripping down your thighs in hot rivers.

You came again—hard.

Your wail was broken, soundless, body convulsing on his cock, walls clamping down like your pussy never wanted to let him go. Your head dropped forward, hair plastered to your cheeks as you moaned through it—loving it.

“Good girl.”

He licked the sweat from your neck, grinding deep, still throbbing.

“Took me so well. Bred so good. Look at you. Cockdrunk little bitch, dripping my cum like you’re proud of it.”

You whimpered, pushing back on him with what little strength you had left, greedy and ruined.

“I am proud,” you slurred, voice shaking. “I’m yours. Fill me again. Stuff me ‘til I break—please…”

A pause.

Then another hum, light, happy and satisfied.

“Don’t worry. I’m not pulling out.”

[bunnwich]

Was just revisiting your blog for some quality Leona content but I was wondering in you had some more Leona bf HCs to feed us? Tysm for all the hard work you do fr.🛐🛐🛐

Hi! I assume you’re talking about this post? I’m really flattered you enjoy my stuff. Thank you so much!! I’ll echo what I said in my other post that I think shipping and yumeing with a comfort character is very personal and that little headcanons and interpretations can vary from person to person. At the end of the day, it’s about what YOU wanna see and reflect into your romance! I think taking the time to add your own lil HCs and lore is the fun part!

✨MORE✨ Leona Boyfriend Headcanons

Bedtime rituals are important: Leona mentions enjoying baths a few times, so I think that this quiet time with his partner would be his favorite, and Leona is even more motivated to do nightly self-care rituals. And when his partner doesn't stay the night, sometimes he "forgets" and does wear his braids multiple days. (Leona just mentions that you should come over and fix his braids if you don't like how he does it when you're not around.)

Unfortunately, he enjoys banter, teasing, and playfighting. Anyway, he can get a little rise out of you. NGL, he’s a super annoying bf that makes you wanna hit him sometimes, but in a lighthearted way. It’s never mean, only annoying. You'll become wise to his "tells" anyway, and realize he’s not serious (he’s very hard for others to read BTW) BUT you KNOW when he’s just pulling your leg.

Eating meals together is another thing he always tries to do, and works his schedule around this ritual. He likes the idea that you are getting enough to eat, and I do think sharing a meal is one of his love languages. Seeing you nourished and while indulging in delicious food (something he also enjoys) makes him feel good.

He doesn’t tolerate disrespect of you in ANY form, teasing is one thing, but he will never speak badly of you or let anyone else. AND HE’D NEVER IGNORE YOU OR ACT LIKE HE’S SIMPLY PUTTING UP WITH YOU. (✨No aloof BF here!!✨) In fact, he may get the habit of texting you TOO much. He’s a handful, and you are his emotional springboard in a way. He doesn't have many close bonds with others, so when he's away from you for too long, he gets restless and will start texting you what he's doing and why it is so dull without you. (He’d never pull you away from friends or anything because he's pretty self-aware of how needy he can be. We love a man with emotional intelligence.)

He’s not a TOTAL pushover, especially when “Coach Leona” comes out. He's not afraid to tell you when he thinks you’re wrong. A tough love session or two where he may just tell you you're too nosy and should be focused on yourself, or let you know when he thinks you may be going about something wrong. He DOES place you on a pedestal in his mind, and if he’s a little tough on you, it's just bc he wants you to be successful. He believes partners should be a TEAM and push each other when needed. (You’ll certainly love to boss him around!!)

Once together, he will NEVER request that you clean up after him or run errands for him. (Unless you really want to ig.) You're NOT one of his underlings or expected to be subservient to him in any way, you are his partner and therefore equal.

 All of Savanaclaw’s attitude will shift about you, and he will request that they should respect you. And hey, if you are tough enough to get with their “boss” then ofc they would respect you anyway without him even saying.

Queen/King/Prince/Princess (whatever you prefer) Treatment. He wants to spoil you but respects your independence. He’s studied you well enough by now to know when to hold back and let you take control. It’s cute…and VERY attractive to see you lead. In fact, he wants to see you at your best, commanding situations and building your skills.

✨BRO HAS A LICENSE.✨ And (I think) a secret car. He keeps it just off the NRC campus. He used to go for long drives alone along Sage's Island’s coast, but now he has company~ He’ll drive you anywhere you wanna go. These drives with you keep him sane. And he’ll take you shopping and dinner dates, most likely just mean-mugging the whole time or falling asleep on the bench by the dressing rooms. BUT HE’LL DO IT FOR YOU. (Yes, dear…)

His peace is your alone time together, without the noise of the outside world or others. Just curled up in his arms playing mobile chess or watching one of those boring history documentaries I know he's into. (Relationships are about compromise, okay??) He’ll let you choose what you watch, too. He's a professional bedrotter, so on those days where relaxation is needed, he's right beside you, asking you what kind of food you want him to order for you. If you wanna yap to him about the terrible book you just read, hey he’s fine with that too!

He KNOWS he is not the most…well, exciting partner, and that self-consciousness shows through sometimes. He’ll do his best to keep you happy, but he probably needs reassurance that he’s not boring you to death with his 15-minute chess lectures or lethargic lifestyle. He’s an old man at heart.

IMO Leona got his first idea of love from romance novels!! After being disillusioned, he ofc put all that “nonsense” to bed as a kid. But I like to think there is still a part of him who is a hopeless romantic softie. He's secretly dreamed of having a “great love” in his life and a strong partner just like his brother. Someone not like all the others, and who will always be there by his side. So don't be surprised when he pulls out a move or line that you’d NEVER expect him to say. (Maybe a dry delivery, but he’d say it!!)

Not always, but sometimes, Leona can be…strangely sweet, but HE MEANS IT. I do think he’s a bit socially stunted in some areas. As in…he doesn't always know what to say in intimate situations, so stealing a few lines from this “stupid book” he read as a kid is NOT above him. That’s what a prince would say, right? In fact, in trying to be so PAINFULLY logical all the time, he might apply “romance” he learned from books in real life to a devastatingly cheesy, old-fashioned, and endearing degree. (He’d never tell tho.)

I’LL SAY IT, Leona’s version of “lovey dovey talk” is talking in the third person.  “You know your lion loves ya right?” “Your lion’s been lonely without ya.” “Your lion misses his_” (Insert whatever cheesy nickname he’s chosen for you). Notice how he conveniently puts himself as ✨possessed✨ by you. Because that's all he wants!! It's cemented in his head. Before he’s sure you feel the same, he’ll make sure you know that he is, in fact, YOUR lion. No arguments. You have to reap what you’ve sown.

In public, these “Your Lion” quips are whispered under his breath, maybe even in your ear. But, in private, he’s fine with rolling over for you like an overgrown house cat, and saying these things loud and proud. He’s looking at you with such a soft expression, you wonder if this is the same intimidating leader of the Savanaclaw dorm you came to know at the beginning of the year.

He’s completely love sick for you. He hates this, but also ✨REVELS✨ IN IT. And what I mean by this is, I think “being in love” would be a bittersweet experience for Leona. He feels very deeply too DEEPLY. He's always been a sensitive guy, and eventually he will settle into a comfortable love…but after SO MANY YEARS of being alone, not just romantically, but without many close bonds OF ANY KIND, the feeling of love would make him feel sorta…sick at first. But, being the grumpy masochist we know…I think Leona would give in to this torture, become addicted to you, especially after you promise that you’re here to stay.

At night, he holds you a little too tight sometimes, but that’s because...he can’t believe you’re really here with him, and the thought of going back to how his life was before you were in it is more painful than anything.

[myinaru]

Childhood Best Friend Complex

You and Heeseung have been best friends forever. Emphasis on forever. Like, learned-how-to-walk-together type of forever. But college throws a wrench into your usual routine: one night blurs a line that was never supposed to move, and suddenly, everything feels different. Now there’s weird tension, awkward silences, and unspoken things you’re both too stubborn to say out loud. You don’t know what’s worse, pretending nothing’s changed or admitting everything has. Because staying friends? That was always the plan. Wanting more? That was never supposed to happen.

Pairing: Lee Heeseung x Fem!Reader

Genre: College AU, Childhood Best Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Smut, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 39.6k Total (14.4k - Part 1)

Warnings: Dry humping (hell yeah), Corny maybe idc, Lots of misunderstanding, Mentions of multiple kpop idols, Cursing, Cunnilingus, Unprotected sex (pls don't), Praising, Heeseung is a yearner, Lmk if I missed anything lol

Author's Note: First time uploading here lol. This fic was heavily inspired by the manhwa/webtoon Childhood Friend Complex. I'll be splitting it into three parts since Tumblr won't let me post it in one go. Hope y'all enjoy T-T

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

You and Heeseung had spent twenty chaotic years crashing into each other. Bickering, teasing, arguing like it was your first language. Now, you were slumped on the floor of his dorm, drunk and quiet, knees touching, the air between you strangely charged.

Heeseung didn’t move much. Just watched you with wide, unreadable eyes. His hand crept toward yours slowly, like even the thought of reaching for you was too loud. His fingers brushed yours. Then stopped.

His breath hit your cheek. It was warm. Uneven. And then, in the softest voice you’d ever heard from him, he said, “Do you... want to kiss?”

No smirk. No teasing. Just fear, and something he couldn’t hide fast enough. He’d never say it unless he thought you might say yes. Because if you didn’t, he wouldn’t know how to come back from it.

You froze, confused. “You’re drunk,” you said with a nervous laugh, nudging his arm.

Heeseung’s expression tightened. A flash of hurt crossed his face before he forced a laugh, too sharp to be real. “Yeah, I’m drunk. Fuck, Y/n. You really think...” He trailed off, shaking his head.

“Forget it. Stupid idea.”

He started to pull away, but his reflexes were off. His knee bumped into yours, and he hissed. More from the weight of rejection than pain. “Fuck. Stupid,” he muttered, catching himself against the wall. His eyes narrowed. “What’s your problem? Why are you... you never... God, forget it.”

You furrowed your brows, head spinning slightly. You grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving.

He stiffened at your touch, breathing heavily. For a moment, he just stared at you, searching your face like he was trying to read every single thought behind your eyes. His hand twitched in yours, like he wanted to pull you close but was holding back.

“Don’t play games with me,” he said softly, dangerously quiet. “Not tonight. Not after...” He swallowed hard. “God, Y/n. If you keep looking at me like that, I don’t know if I can...”

He broke off with a strangled sound, forehead leaning against yours. “Tell me I’m being stupid,” he whispered. “Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me it’s just the alcohol.”

You swallowed. “It might be the alcohol... but I’m not telling you I don’t want it. I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore... Can’t we just not regret this tomorrow?”

He went still. His heart felt like it stopped before thundering back to life. “That... that’s not—I mean...” he stammered, hands trembling slightly as he brought them to your face. His thumbs gently stroked your cheekbones. “Are you serious right now?”

His voice was rough, thick with emotion he rarely let show. His eyes searched yours intently, looking for any trace of hesitation. “Because if this is real... if you actually want...” He swallowed again. “Shit, Y/n. You have no idea what you do to me.”

You didn’t answer with words. You leaned in and kissed him.

The moment your lips met, he let out a shaky gasp. His hands moved to your hair, fingers tangling as he kissed you back with a desperate intensity. It was messy, passionate, tongue and teeth, hunger barely held back.

A small moan escaped him, muffled against your lips. His body pressed flush to yours, fitting like a puzzle piece that had always been missing. One of his hands slid to the small of your back, fingers digging into your shirt as he pulled you closer.

When you broke apart for air, he was panting, eyes dark with desire. He rested his forehead against yours.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that. How many times I’ve imagined it,” he said.

You smirked, resting your finger against his lips. “Don’t say anything you’ll regret tomorrow.”

He nipped at your finger lightly, his teeth grazing the skin. His eyes locked with yours, full of heat and promise.

“No regrets,” he murmured. “Not tonight. Not with you.”

Then he kissed you again, hard. His hands slid to your hips, gripping tightly as he pulled you onto his lap. The position pressed your bodies together, and he groaned into your mouth.

“I want you,” he breathed, voice ragged. “I want you so fucking much, Y/n. Want to feel you, taste you, make you mine.” His hands slipped under your shirt, fingers brushing over your bare back. His lips found your neck, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin.

You mirrored his touch, sliding your hand down his chest, feeling the toned muscle beneath. As you moved closer, you felt his erection press against you.

Heeseung sucked in a breath. His muscles tensed under your fingers. When you rolled your hips against his, his reaction was immediate, hips bucking, breath catching. “Y/n…” he groaned. “That feels so good. You’re killing me.” His hands held your hips tighter, guiding your movements, slow and deliberate. You could feel every hard inch of him, even through the layers.

“I bet you’d look so pretty riding me,” he panted into your neck, kissing along your throat. “Bet you’d take me so well. I want to feel you squeeze around me. Fall apart on my dick.” One hand came up to cup your breast, fingers kneading the soft flesh through your bra.

You let out a shaky breath, grinding harder.

He let out a low growl of appreciation, helping you move against him. “That’s it. Take what you need. Fuck, the way you move...” His thumb brushed over your nipple through the fabric, sending heat straight to your core. He pinched and rolled it, his other hand still firm on your hip. “I want to watch you fall apart,” he murmured. “Want to hear you moan my name.”

Your head fell onto his shoulder as you whimpered his name, picking up the pace.

Heeseung gasped, thrusting up to meet you. “Yes, just like that. Fuck, you feel so good. So perfect. Such a good girl for me.” His hand slid up your back and into your hair, tugging gently. The other dipped into your pants, under your underwear, gripping your ass firmly. “If you keep doing that,” he whispered, lips brushing your ear, “I’m gonna come in my pants.”

You smirked. “That’s honestly a turn on.”

He shuddered, overwhelmed. He looked at you, eyes dark and blown wide. “It is? You like knowing how much I want you?” He ground against you harder, letting you feel every inch of him. “Because I’m so fucking close. You’re gonna make me explode in these jeans.” His thumb pressed against your clit, slow circles over your underwear. “Think you can make me come like this? Grinding until I lose it? Bet you’d love feeling me twitch against your pretty pussy.”

You bit your lip, meeting his rhythm. “I know you’ll cum for me. You always do what I tell you, don’t you? Just like the good little boy you are.”

Heeseung let out a strangled moan, body seizing. “Oh fuck...Y/n... I’m cumming!” He buried his face in your neck, biting down on your shoulder to muffle the cry. His cock pulsed and twitched, hot release soaking his pants as he clung to you. Your name fell from his lips in broken whimpers.

You came with him, body shuddering, head falling to his shoulder. “Ngh... fuck... so tired...” you mumbled.

Heeseung smiled, exhausted but content. He held you close, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. He shifted, laying back on the bed and pulling you with him. After dressing you in spare clothes, he cleaned himself up and returned to curl beside you.

He watched you sleep, your face peaceful, before sleep took him too. Still half-drunk, halfaware.

The screeching of your alarm feels like a knife in your skull. You reach for your phone, slapping it down with a groan, but the damage is done. Your head’s pounding, and it feels like the world’s spinning under you.

Beside you, Heeseung groans, the sound muffled by the pillow he’s half-smothered in. “Ugh. Shut it up,” he mutters, flinging his arm over his face like it’ll save him.

You don’t even have the energy to respond. Your hand moves instinctively to your forehead, trying to ease the ache that feels like it’s about to split your brain in two.

Heeseung shifts, throwing his arm away from his eyes. He squints at you through the haze, his face scrunched up in discomfort. “Oh my god,” he groans dramatically, his voice barely more than a croak. “I think I might actually die today.”

You don’t even respond at first. Your mind is too busy reeling, trying to piece together what the hell happened last night. It’s like watching a movie in slow motion, the details fading in and out.

And then, bam. It all comes rushing back.

You dry-humped your best friend.

You don't even know where to begin. Last night was a blur of alcohol and hormones and bad decisions. Your hands on his chest. His breath hitching. Your bodies moving together in the dim light. His voice in your ear. Your best friend, your dumb, sweet, annoying, beautiful best friend had his hands all over you.

And you… let him.

No.

You wanted him to.

You groan again, burying a pillow over your face.

“What’s wrong with you?” Heeseung mutters, still not fully opening his eyes.

“What’s wrong with me?” You yank the pillow away and look at him. “What the hell was last night, Heeseung?”

That gets his attention. He blinks at you like a deer in headlights. “Oh shit.”

“Yeah. Oh shit.”

He bolts upright, sheets falling away. “Wait- we didn’t, right? We didn’t actually-?” He gestures wildly.

“No!” you say too fast. “God, no. But we… we dry humped each other for, like, an hour, on the floor.”

Heeseung flops back, groaning into the pillow now. “Kill me. Just end it. Right here. I’ll leave you my gaming chair in my will.”

You toss a pillow at him, hitting him square in the face.

“You started it!” you snap.

“You climbed on top of me!”

“You pulled me down!”

“You were grinding!”

“You moaned!”

Heeseung yelps, shoving the pillow into his face. “Shut up!”

The pillow shifts just enough for him to peek at you. His eyes are wide, like a deer caught in headlights.

“I didn’t even-” he blurts. A beat. Then quieter: “Well, maybe.”

He lets the pillow fall into his lap, deflating like a kicked balloon. “God. That was so stupid. So, so stupid. What do we even do now?”

You wince at the memory of what you said last night. Every detail’s still painfully vivid. “Well... we said no regrets, right?” Your voice comes out careful, uncertain. “We agreed.”

Heeseung goes quiet for a moment, eyes scanning the floor. Then he gives a small nod, like he’s trying to convince himself.

“Right. No regrets.”

He rubs a hand through his hair, only making the mess worse. “So... we’re good? Still friends and everything?”

“Only if you swear, we never mention the phrase ‘dry-humped’ in front of each other again.”

“Deal.” His voice wavers, just enough to give him away. “Because honestly, if we’re not anymore, I might actually combust right here.”

You snort, reaching for the nearest pillow and tossing it at him. “You’re so dramatic. I’m not gonna throw away twenty years of friendship just because we almost-”

Your voice catches. You clear your throat and stand up instead. You only realize then, you’re wearing his hoodie. Not yours. Definitely not yours. It hangs oversized on your frame, soft and warm. You glance at yourself in the mirror, cheeks flushing.

Heeseung catches on too, eyes widening. “Oh, uh- yeah. Sorry about the clothes. You would have been sleeping in your outside clothes and I blurred out and just- gave you that. I didn’t look. I swear.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Sure.”

He makes a strangled noise and looks away. “Okay, well, want breakfast or something? I heard food helps with hangovers.”

You take one last glance at yourself in the mirror before nodding. “Thanks, by the way. I didn’t bring pajamas, so… appreciate it.” You point toward the bathroom. “Can I shower here?”

Heeseung nods quickly, still red in the face. “Yeah. Of course. Towels are in the cabinet under the sink. Shampoo and stuff’s in there too.”

You start walking past him, and he inhales, just a little too deeply. You catch it. His laundry soap mixed with your perfume lingers between you.

“Hey,” he says suddenly, stopping you just before you disappear into the bathroom. His voice softens. “About last night… I’m glad it didn’t mess anything up. You’re sickeningly important to me or whatever, Y/n.”

You rolled your eyes with a smile, ignoring how your stomach flips at how disgustingly earnest he says your name.

“Me too,” you reply. “It’d be a waste to throw twenty years down the drain over one really… weird night.”

Heeseung exhales, like he’s been holding that breath all morning. “Exactly. Besides,” he adds, a small smile forming, “who else would put up with me and feed me when I’m too hungover to move?”

You roll your eyes, though the corner of your mouth lifts. “You’re such a loser.”

“Yeah, well, you love it,” he retorts with a laugh, clearly relieved. “Now go take your shower before the water goes cold, princess.”

You snicker as you close the door behind you. “Stop calling me that! You’re so fucking weird when you’re nice.”

Heeseung’s laughter rings out from the other side of the door. “I can’t believe you’re still talking back while you’re in the bathroom. What kind of weirdo are you?”

You hear him flop onto the bed again as the shower water turns on, his voice muffled by the bathroom door. “I can’t believe I dry-humped my best friend. Classic Heeseung,” he mutters to himself, clearly still cringing.

After about twenty minutes, you both finished getting ready, falling into silence, moving like you had been doing this forever. You didn’t talk much, just small comments and glances over breakfast before going to the university together.

By the time you reached campus, there was barely any time left before classes started.

Without much choice, the two of you split ways. Different departments, different buildings. Still, that parting tugged at something. Maybe it was how reluctant Heeseung looked, or the way his eyes lingered a second too long.

Heeseung, for his part, couldn’t focus all day.

His professors might as well have been speaking gibberish. He found himself zoning out midlecture, thumb absentmindedly grazing the edge of his notebook as images of last night kept flashing in his mind. The way your voice softened when you were sleepy. The heat of your skin when you leaned too close.

He was still stuck in that daze by lunchtime, hovering near the cafeteria entrance with his tray in hand, eyes scanning the room until they landed on you. You were seated by the window, halfheartedly poking your food with your expression unreadable. He hesitated.

Should he join you? Would that be weird?

After a moment of internal chaos, he sucked it up and walked over, plopping down across from you like it was no big deal.

"Hey," he said, voice casual but eyes hesitant. "Didn’t know if you wanted company. Didn’t wanna be annoying."

You didn’t even look up right away, just poked at your food with a spoon. Then you smirked. “I was literally looking for you earlier. Then I gave up 'cause I got lazy." He blinked in surprise. That made his shoulders relax just a little.

"You know," you added, finally meeting his eyes, "what’s with you lately? You’re acting weird. You’re never this... nice. It’s freaking me out."

Heeseung sat up straighter, hand pausing mid-bite. "I’m not nice? Wow, okay. Maybe I’m just trying something new. Ever thought of that?"

"There he is," you said with a laugh, reaching across the table to pat his shoulder a little too hard. "There’s the asshole I grew up with. Thought I lost you for a second."

Heeseung winced and rubbed his shoulder. "Ow. You trying to dislocate my arm? Damn. You're lucky I even tolerate you. Especially with that garbage personality of yours."

But you caught it, that flicker in his eyes when you touched him, even briefly. The twitch of his lips he tried to suppress when you teased him back.

Things might’ve continued that way, comfortable, familiar. If only Jay hadn’t suddenly flopped into the seat next to Heeseung.

"Dude. Be real with me. Are you dating her or what?"

Your fork froze mid-air. Heeseung choked on his water.

"What?! No- what are you-" He looked between you and Jay, a bit panicked. "We’re just friends! Why would you even-?"

Jay shrugged. "I mean, the way you two bicker like an old married couple? Come on. And the rumors are already everywhere."

You raised a brow, glancing at Heeseung. "Who in their right mind would think I’d date him?"

"Excuse you," Heeseung shot back, glaring. "I’d rather shove my head in a blender than date some clingy, passive-aggressive- ow, god!" He hissed as you kicked him under the table.

Jay just watched with a grin. "You two are exhausting."

Then his grin widened as he leaned closer to Heeseung. "But since you’re not dating her, does that mean Jung Yeri’s got a shot with you?"

You blinked. That name made your stomach do something unfamiliar and ugly.

Heeseung visibly tensed. "What? Why are you even-?"

"Dude," Jay laughed. "She’s been all over you. Pretty sure half the class already thinks you two are a thing."

Right on cue, a girl that looked suspiciously like Jung Yeri sauntered by. She tossed Heeseung a slow, deliberate wink before settling at a table nearby.

Jay elbowed him again. "Go talk to her! You’re blowing it!"

But Heeseung looked like he’d just been cornered by a wild animal.

You tried not to laugh. Honestly, you really tried. But your hand twitched and your lips curled as you bit down on the inside of your cheek. It was a struggle not to smirk as you watched him flail.

"I- no," Heeseung said abruptly, voice sharper than he meant. "I’m not into her."

Jay blinked. "Seriously? She’s not your type?"

Heeseung let out a strangled sound, running his hand through his hair. "She’s fine, I guess, but I’m not... I do not like. I’m already-"

His eyes flicked toward you, just briefly.

"...interested in someone else."

Your hand paused on your tray. You glanced up at him, lips parting slightly, but you said nothing.

Jay, of course, was relentless. "What? Since when?! Who?"

Heeseung mumbled something, but it was too low for anyone to catch.

Jay leaned closer. "Huh?"

Heeseung snapped, "It’s none of your business!"

You finally cracked. The laugh escaped before you could catch it, loud and unfiltered. You covered your mouth, turning your head, shoulders shaking.

Heeseung glared. "What’s so funny?!"

Jay smirked like the puzzle pieces finally clicked. "Wait a second... it’s her, isn’t it? You’ve got it bad for Y/n."

Heeseung nearly choked on his drink again. "What?! No!" he barked. "I don’t like her like that!" You only laughed harder, tears starting to prick your eyes from holding it in.

Jay turned to you. "Is that true? You two really aren’t into each other?"

You wiped your eyes with your sleeve, calming down enough to deadpan, "The only day I’d be into him is if the world ended and we were the last people alive."

Heeseung’s smirk wobbled for a second. "Right back at you. I’d rather eat glass than date you."

Jay shook his head and stood. "Y’all are full of it. Anyway, I’ve got class. Try not to murder each otherwhile I’m gone."

Once he left, the tension stayed behind. Quieter, but heavier somehow.

You leaned in. “Really? You like someone who’s not Yeri?”

Heeseung stiffened, his eyes darting to yours. He opened his mouth, closed it, then scowled and looked away.

“Why do you care?” he muttered. “It’s not like it matters.”

You grinned. “Are you sure Yeri isn’t this mystery lady you secretly like?”

“Oh God, no way!” he blurted, then winced. “I mean, she’s… not my type. At all.”

He picked at his rice like it offended him. “I don’t even know why you’re asking. It’s not like I’m going to tell you who it is.”

You shrugged, standing to set your tray aside. “Do whatever you want. Although…” you smirked as you leaned your chin on your palm, “I do hope your virgin ass finally gets laid.” Heeseung’s head snapped up. “EXCUSE ME?!” he nearly yelled.

Everyone turned. He ducked down, voice hissing now. “I am not a virgin! And even if I was, that’s none of your business!” He crossed his arms. “Besides, you’re one to talk. When’s the last time you even went on a date?”

Your smile fell. “Hey! For your information, I’m actually set to go on a group date with my friends this Friday.”

His expression darkened instantly. “A group date?” he reiterated. “Since when are you into that kind of thing? I thought you hated crowds.” He leaned closer, tone sharp. “And who exactly are you going with? Do I know them? Are they even decent people?”

You crossed your arms. “Why do you care? And besides, it’s about time my miserable ass gets a boyfriend.”

Heeseung’s hands tightened around the edge of the table. He forced a laugh, bitter, hollow. “Yeah. Good luck with that. Let me know how that works out for you.”

Then, he stood up, abruptly, chair scraping loudly behind him. His tray clattered as he grabbed it. “I have to go. Class starts soon.”

You frowned. “Hey-”

But he was already walking away.

You blinked, confused. “You don’t even have afternoon classes today…” You shook your head, carrying your tray to the bin. You frowned as you watched him storm off, tray in hand and tension radiating from every step.

The doors clattered shut behind him.

You stood there for a few seconds, tray still in your hands, like your brain hadn’t caught up to your body yet. Heeseung never walked away from an argument. He lived for comebacks, lived for that smug look he always wore when he got the last word.

So why now?

You blinked, startled by the tight knot forming in your chest. Was it something you said? You turned slowly toward the trash bins, tossing your leftovers away, but your mind wasn’t really on autopilot like it usually was. You weren’t thinking about your next class. Not even about what Jay said or how half the cafeteria had stared at you when Heeseung yelled about not being a virgin.

No, all your thoughts were stuck back at the table. Replaying the way his eyes darkened when you brought up the group date. The way his jaw tensed. That laugh that wasn’t a real laugh, more like something brittle, something breaking.

And then he’d left. Just… walked out.

You stood by the bins, fingers loosely gripping the edge, your tray empty but your head full of noise. The kind of silence that rings in your ears when everything around you moves on and you’re just… stuck.

You leaned against the counter, letting out a slow breath as your thoughts started spiraling.

Why was he upset?

Sure, you teased him. You always did. That wasn’t new. Neither was him teasing back.

But this time…this time he’d gotten weirdly defensive. About Yeri. About you going on a date. About everything, really.

He always called you annoying, or brat, or headache, but he’d never looked angry. Not like that.

Not like someone who was… hurt.

You stared at the floor.

And then it hit you, an idea awfully insane, and kind of stupid.

He was acting jealous.

The word lodged itself in your brain like a splinter.

No. No way. That didn’t make sense. This was Heeseung. He’d rather die than admit he liked anyone. Heeseung, who called you a cockroach just last week when you stole his fries.

Heeseung, who once said he’d sooner become a monk than date you.

Still, you couldn’t shake it.

That look in his eyes when you joked about finally getting a boyfriend.

That silence.

The way he’d refused to look at you when he said, “Yeah. Good luck with that.”

You slowly made your way out of the cafeteria, feet dragging more than usual. Your fingers were twitchy, like they wanted to text him, but you couldn’t even think of what you’d say.

And still, that question kept circling back in your head.

Annoying. Shitty. Question.

He’s not… jealous… is he?

Heeseung didn’t even remember how he got back to his dorm. One second he was standing in the cafeteria, hearing you joke about getting a boyfriend, and the next he was outside, walking blindly through campus with his fists jammed deep in his pockets.

The cold didn't help. If anything, it made his thoughts sharper, more jagged.

It's about time my miserable ass gets a boyfriend. He could still hear it. Like a punchline he wasn’t in on.

He kicked a stray rock across the sidewalk, watching it bounce into the bushes.

“Stupid,” he muttered, jaw clenched. “So fucking stupid.”

He didn’t know what pissed him off more, the thought of you with some guy from that group date or the fact that he had no right to be this upset in the first place. You weren’t his. You never had been.

But that didn’t stop his chest from tightening every time he imagined you laughing with someone else. Sitting beside him. Holding his hand.

Heeseung cursed under his breath as he shoved his dorm room door open and slammed it shut behind him. He let himself fall face-first onto his bed, eyes burning holes into the ceiling.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Not after everything that happened.

Not after that night.

Your lips. The way you melted into him. The way your hands gripped his hoodie like you didn’t want to let go.

He let out a groan and buried his face into his pillow.  

What the hell were you even thinking?

He wanted to text you. Apologize maybe. Pretend it didn’t matter. But every time he picked up his phone, his thumbs froze, and the words disappeared.

So instead, he just laid there. Let the ache sit with him like it had every night since.

You walked into class like you were wearing a mask.

Blouse tucked in. Skirt straightened. Smile tight.

Everything looked fine from the outside. But inside? Your brain had been on a loop for hours, trying to make sense of what the hell had just happened with Heeseung.

You told yourself it wasn’t a big deal. Friends fight. You probably just hit a nerve. Maybe he was stressed. Maybe you’d said something wrong.

Maybe-

“Earth to Y/n.”

You blinked, startled, as Vicky waved her hand in front of your face.

“You've been staring at your notebook like it's gonna write itself,” she said with a giggle. “Everything okay?”

You forced a smile. “Uhm… yeah. Just thinking about... things.”

Vicky raised an eyebrow. “Things,” she repeated. “Uh-huh. Right. Like how you’ve been zoning out since you sat down. Does this have anything to do with that guy you’re always with?”

Your smile froze. “What- Heeseung? No, why would-”

She gasped softly. “Oh my god, it is about him.”

Before you could argue, she clapped her hands excitedly. “Perfect timing! Don’t forget, our group blind date’s this Friday. You have to invite him. I bet he'd totally get along with my friends. Or maybe you two can date each other and pretend it's a blind date.”

You stiffened. “Woah, slow down. Heeseung and I? That’s… we’re like family. Literally. I’ve known him since I was in diapers.”

Vicky pouted, clearly unimpressed. “That’s a shame. You guys would be stupid cute together.” You rolled your eyes, but the weird twist in your gut didn’t go away.

“And hey,” she added teasingly, voice low, “if you’re really not interested… is he fair game?” You whipped your head toward her so fast your hair slapped your shoulder.

Vicky laughed nervously, holding her hands up. “Kidding! Kidding. I know better than to go after someone you’re protective of.”

You turned back to your notes, pretending to write something. But the words blurred together.

Why did that bother you so much?

Heeseung could date whoever he wanted. You didn’t care. You shouldn’t care. And yet the thought of him sitting next to some girl on Friday made you want to scream.

It didn’t make sense.

Your fingers gripped your pen tighter.

The rest of the class passed in a haze. Vicky tossing in ideas for venues and flirty outfit suggestions while you nodded absently, stuck inside your own head.

By the time you got home, the sun was already setting, casting warm shadows on your walls.

You dropped your bag on the couch and kicked off your shoes, but something soft hit your thigh as you moved.

You reached in and pulled out the fabric.

Heeseung’s hoodie.

Of course.

You exhaled slowly, running your fingers across the soft sleeves. It still smelled like him. Laundry detergent and something warm underneath.

You didn’t want to see him. Not yet. Not when your heart still felt like it was in a blender and you didn’t know why.

But now you had an excuse to. And that irritated you more than it should.

“Whatever,” you muttered, tossing it in the laundry and pretending like that settled something.

It didn’t.

The next few days passed like molasses. Slow. Heavy. Tense.

Neither of you texted.

Neither of you reached out.

You kept telling yourself that was fine. That this wasn’t weird. That everything was totally normal.

But it wasn’t.

Every time your phone buzzed; your heart jumped. Every time it wasn’t him, it sank.

Heeseung was the same. Pretending he was busy. Pretending he wasn’t checking his phone every ten minutes. Pretending he didn’t care that the hoodie you wore while falling asleep in his arms was gone.

Denial was easier.

Until Friday rolled around. The day of the group date.

And neither of you could deny anything anymore.

The day of the group blind date crawled by, but you felt the weight of it like a countdown.

You spent the morning aimlessly cleaning, second-guessing your outfit, and chewing on your lip as you stared at your phone. Still no text. Not that you expected one. Not really.

Meanwhile, somewhere across campus, Heeseung was pretending to be busy. Doing laps around his dorm, rearranging laundry that was already folded, and slamming his fridge shut multiple times for no reason. Every task he did had one purpose: stalling.

Eventually, he couldn’t stop himself.

You heard the doorbell just as you were zipping up your boots. When you opened it, your breath hitched.

There he was, standing stiffly outside your apartment, a black tote bag dangling from one hand. He looked like he didn’t want to be there, and also like he’d explode if he didn’t show up.

“Hey,” he muttered, avoiding your eyes. “You left your clothes. From that night.”

You blinked, confused for a second, then glanced down at the bag. Your cheeks warmed. “Oh. Right.” You stepped back, your voice smaller than intended. “Thanks... wait here a sec.”

You ducked inside, grabbing his pajamas off your bed and stuffing them into the bag. When you returned, he was still standing there, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets.

“Thanks for lending me this too,” you mumbled, holding out the bag again.

Heeseung nodded, his jaw tight. He took it wordlessly. His fingers brushed yours. Then, after a beat too long, he said, “You look…”

He didn’t finish right away. His gaze dropped again. To the dress. The earrings. Your exposed collarbone.

“You look nice.” The words left his mouth like he hated them. “For your date, I mean.” He cleared his throat, jaw working. “Have fun or whatever.” You froze.

“Oh. Uh. Thanks.”

He shifted on his feet, clearly uncomfortable. Like there was something else he wanted to say but didn’t know how.

“I should go,” he said, turning away. “Don’t want to make you late.”

“Yeah. Thanks again.”

He nodded and walked off, leaving you staring at the closed door, mentally cursing yourself for not saying more.

You stared at the shut door for a long moment, biting the inside of your cheek. It felt like something important had been said. And also, like nothing had.

By the time your Uber pulled up, your nerves had twisted into a tight coil behind your ribs. You tried to shake it off as you headed to the restaurant. But that all flew out the window the second you walked through the doors.

Because standing near the entrance, tray in hand, was Heeseung.

Your jaw dropped. “You? Wait. You work here?”

His eyes went wide as they landed on you, like you’d just punched him in the gut. “Y/n-? Yeah. Part-time.”

“You never told me-”

“I did,” he muttered, flushing and avoiding your gaze. “Maybe you just didn’t listen.”

You blinked, thrown off. “Since when?”

“Since-… whatever.” His voice was clipped, like he was trying too hard to act unaffected. “Needed the money. Free food. Don’t make it a big deal.”

Before you could respond, someone from the back called out: “Lee! Table 7!”

He exhaled through his nose, already turning away. “Gotta go. Enjoy your date.”

And just like that, he was gone again. Vanishing between tables, his apron swaying as he moved. You barely had time to process it when Vicky waved you over. She was already seated with another girl you knew, makeup perfect, and surrounded by three guys. One of whom slid a drink toward you as you sat down.

The night crawled forward.

Your date was… fine.

Well, there wasn’t anything wrong with him. He was cute. Tall. Had that clean-cut kind of look, the kind you’re supposed to want. The kind that makes your friends nudge you under the table and whisper “Okay, not bad.” And he was nice, in a way that felt... practiced? Like he knew exactly what to say and when to say it. Smiled on cue. Laughed when he was supposed to. Asked questions, but only the easy ones, your major, your favorite movie, if you liked dogs or cats. Surface-level stuff. Like we were speedrunning a personality quiz.

You nodded. Smiled. Even laughed a few times. But it didn’t feel like anything.

The whole time, your brain kept running in circles. You kept comparing everything he did to Heeseung, without meaning to. Without even realizing I was doing it at first.

Like when he leaned in and grinned that too-perfect smile? All you could think about was how Heeseung’s smile was kind of lopsided and usually only came out when he was genuinely amused. The real kind. The one where his nose scrunches a little and he tries to hide it behind his hand like it’s embarrassing.

Or when your date started talking about his internship and humblebragging like it was his whole personality. Meanwhile, Heeseung would rather choke than talk about himself like that. He’s so annoying about hiding how hard he works, like it’s something to be ashamed of. But at least when he says something, you know it means something.

And then there was this moment. God, it was so dumb, when your date reached across the table and tried to brush something off your sleeve, real casual. Like in the dramas. Except it didn’t feel sweet. It felt…wrong.

Because your first instinct wasn’t butterflies.

It was Heeseung would’ve made fun of me first.

He would’ve been like, “You wore that? You look like you lost a bet.” And then when you’d pout and hit his arm, he’d sneakily fix whatever it was while you were distracted. That was just how we were.

But this guy? He kept making these flirty comments toward Vicky like you weren’t sitting right there. At one point, he asked her what kind of guys she liked, while you were talking midsentence. Like, what are you? A chair?

And you just sat there, drinking your watered-down cocktail, smiling through your teeth while your insides twisted into knots.

Because the real reason you weren’t having fun?

Wasn’t the bad flirting.

Wasn’t the recycled jokes.

Wasn’t the fact that you had more chemistry with the damn napkin holder.

It was because he wasn’t Heeseung.

He didn’t get under your skin the same way. He didn’t make your heartbeat stumble just by looking in your direction. He didn’t have that stupid habit of calling you by a nickname only he could get away with. He didn’t make you want to argue just so you could hear him talk back.

He didn’t make you feel like yourself.

And maybe that was the scariest part. Sitting across from someone perfectly decent, someone that everyone else would probably think is a catch, and realizing that the only person you wanted to talk to about it... was the same person you were trying so hard not to think about.

And it sucked. Because you didn’t know what that meant.

Not really.

You just knew you were halfway through a third drink, laughing at jokes that weren’t funny, smiling at a guy who wasn’t him. And the whole time, your eyes kept drifting to where Heeseung was working across the room.

Not looking at you once.

And that’s when it hit you.

Maybe he was trying not to look too.

By the time dessert came around, you were on your fifth glass of whatever fruity cocktail they'd ordered for you. The alcohol was warm in your stomach, and your thoughts were a slow spin cycle. You laughed at your date’s joke, but it didn’t reach your eyes. It didn’t reach your heart.

Because part of you was still stuck at your front door, with Heeseung not saying what you both knew he wasn’t ready to admit.

When the night finally wound down, the group staggered toward the exit. You tried to play it cool, but your legs were shaky and your head swam.

You didn’t even notice you were stumbling until a hand grabbed your arm.

“Hey, watch it.” Heeseung’s voice, low and sharp with concern, cut through the noise like a tether. “You’re seriously drunk.”

You looked up at him, lips pouting as your balance wobbled again. “The date sucked,” you mumbled. “He was annoying.”

Heeseung raised an eyebrow. “You were laughing. You looked fine.”

“I wasn’t.”

He cursed under his breath and guided you to a bench near the side of the restaurant. You slumped down, grateful for something solid. He knelt in front of you, one hand on your knee to steady himself. “What happened?” he asked, quieter now. “Did he do something?”

You shook your head lazily. “No, just...”  

There was a long pause, way too long like your brain and your heart were fighting against each other.

“He wasn’t you.” Ah. Now we know who won.

The words fell out before you could stop them, and the way his expression shifted for just a fraction of a second told you he didn’t expect that. But Heeseung quickly masked it, shrugging nonchalantly, like it didn’t matter.

“Right,” he muttered, almost too quickly. “Well, you’re really drunk. Don’t go saying weird stuff.” He stood up slightly, glancing at the rest of the group in the distance, then back at you.

You didn’t want to let it slide. “You’re acting different,” you mumbled, your eyes narrowing as you stared up at him, trying to focus. “You’re being... too considerate. Like I’m someone special, and I don’t like it.”

Heeseung’s eyes flickered to yours, an unreadable expression crossing his face for a moment. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something but hesitated, as if weighing his words carefully. “I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay,” he said, voice quieter, a little more strained than usual. “You’re barely keeping yourself upright. What do you want me to do, huh?”

You didn’t back down. “I want you to stop being nice,” you said, your voice slurred but clear enough. “It’s confusing. You’re supposed to be a jerk.”

There was a long, tense pause, and you almost didn’t notice it, but the way his face softened for just a second made your heart skip. He stood there, his posture stiff, but his eyes were searching yours, something vulnerable flickering behind his usual mask.

“Why?” His voice was barely above a whisper, and you could tell it caught him off guard. “Why does it bother you?”

You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or just the raw honesty of the moment, but you decided to let the words spill before you could stop them.

“Because if you keep being nice to me like this... I might-” you murmured, the weight of the confession crashing over you as the words slipped out. “I might actually start liking you.”

The silence that followed felt almost suffocating. Heeseung froze, his expression unreadable. You felt your body sag with the realization of what you’d just said, and the alcohol finally hit you like a wave. Your vision blurred as your head dropped back against the bench, and before you could even process the weight of your own words, your body gave out.

You didn’t even hear Heeseung call your name. You just felt his hands steadying you, but everything went black.

Everything that followed was a haze.

You didn’t remember falling asleep. Didn’t remember being moved. But when your eyes blinked open, the light stung a little, and you were surrounded by something familiar, but not yours.

It took a second to realize you were in Heeseung’s bed.

You were curled up on top of his thin comforter, a lighter blanket tossed over your shoulders like an afterthought. His scent lingered faintly on the pillow beneath you. It smelled like clean laundry, hints of shampoo, and something distinctly him. The room was dim, lit only by the soft morning light peeking through slatted blinds.

Across the room, you spotted him, Heeseung, sitting at his desk, back to you, headphones on as he typed slowly on his laptop. His hair was still a mess, sticking out in places. He was wearing the same hoodie from the night before.

You shifted slightly, and that was all it took.

He immediately swiveled around in his chair. Headphones off, brows pulled together. “Hey,” he said, voice softer than you’d ever heard it. “Hey, easy. Don’t sit up too fast.”

He was already kneeling by the side of the bed, one hand resting gently on your shoulder. His eyes searched your face. “How do you feel? Water and aspirin…” he reached toward his desk, grabbing a bottle and a little foil pack, “…ready to go.”

You took them, muttering a tired thank you as you sat up slowly. Your head was pounding. Everything felt weirdly fragile, like the air was too loud.

“What a mess.. why am I remembering…” you rubbed your temples, “Vicky. Telling me she’d scare off my date.”

Heeseung gave you a tight-lipped smile, carefully neutral. “She did.” You let out a weak laugh. “I didn’t do or say anything... regrettable, right?” His expression flickered. Just for a second. A crack.

“Regrettable?” he repeated quickly. “Nah, nothing like that. You were just… rambling. Typical drunk stuff.” He cleared his throat, eyes darting away. “I brought you back here ‘cause you couldn’t go home like that. And I figured, y’know… better I make sure you’re okay than leave you to die in a bush or something.”

You snorted. “Very noble of you.”

He tried to laugh, but it came out awkward, stiff. “Seriously though, I swear, nothing weird happened. You knocked out like, instantly. I made sure you didn’t choke in your sleep or whatever. That’s it.”

You nodded slowly, watching him as you sipped the water. “Nothing else?”

There was a pause. Barely a beat. He shook his head. “Nope. Nothing.” You said nothing. Just nodded again.

Because you did remember. The moment before it all faded. The way your heart pounded. The words that escaped you.

You remembered what you said to him. Clear as day.

Heeseung looked visibly relieved that you didn’t push it further. He stood up, rubbing the back of his neck. “You should probably go home though. Rest somewhere more… homey. Real food, maybe not just painkillers.”

You hesitated. Then quietly, “Can I stay? Just for a little while.” His eyes widened.

“I know I’m probably being annoying, but I just…can’t really go home like this yet.” You picked at the blanket, looking down. “Also, the date was shit...I wanna distract myself from thinking of it.” Heeseung blinked. The expression on his face shifted from surprise to something gentler.

“Yeah,” he said after a second, voice low. “Of course you can stay.”

He sat down next to you slowly, like he wasn’t sure he should. You could feel the warmth of him, even without touching.

“So,” he asked, carefully, “what happened? Was he a jerk or something?”

There was something off in his tone. A casual mask trying to cover the edge of something rawer.

You shrugged. “He was full of himself. Talked about himself the whole time. Kept flirting with Vicky right in front of me.” You glanced at him. “It was pathetic, honestly.”

Heeseung’s entire expression darkened. Jaw clenched. “Are you serious?” he muttered. “He did that in front of you?” You nodded.

“Piece of shit,” he muttered, then immediately seemed to catch himself. He ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry. That’s just-God, what a dumbass.”

You could feel something bubbling beneath his words. He was angry. More than just offended on your behalf. There was something personal in the way he said it.

“I didn’t even like him that much anyway,” you said under your breath.

“Oh?” he said quickly. “Then why go on the date?”

You gave him a sidelong glance. “I guess I was trying to prove something to myself. That I could move on. That I didn’t-” You bit your lip. “Never mind.” He watched you closely.

“Didn’t what?”

You shook your head, brushing it off. “Forget it.”

Heeseung opened his mouth, then seemed to think better of it. He leaned back against the wall beside the bed. “If it makes you feel better,” he said, “you deserve someone way better than that loser. Someone who… actually listens. Knows you.”

You smiled faintly. “Sounds like a fantasy.”

“It shouldn’t be.”

You turned to him. “You speak from experience?”

He smiled crookedly. “Something like that.”

There was a quiet stretch. Neither of you spoke.

Then, on impulse, you asked, “Wanna grab something to eat? My treat.”

He looked at you like you just offered to buy him a yacht. “Really?”

“Yeah. You took care of me, so let me return the favor.”

He blinked, the corners of his mouth twitching upward. “Sure. That sounds good.”

“I mean, you’ll probably complain about the food, but-”

“Oh, absolutely. You have terrible taste.”

You rolled your eyes, pushing the blanket off as you stood. “Can I shower?”

Heeseung blinked. “Shower?”

“Yeah. You’ve got clean towels, right?”

“Uh, yeah. Cabinet under the sink.” He was already standing up, rummaging through a drawer.

“Here. Take this.” He held out a folded t-shirt and a pair of his joggers. “These should fit, I think.” You took them, holding back a grin. “Thanks, mom.”

He flushed, then made a face. “Just don’t use all my conditioner. That shit’s expensive.”

You ducked into the bathroom, the sound of running water quickly masking the sound of your laugh.

Left alone, Heeseung flopped onto his bed, covering his face with his arm. “What the fuck,” he muttered.

Everything about you lately was driving him insane.

Ten minutes later, you emerged, towel-drying your hair and wearing his clothes. The t-shirt was soft, worn-in, and smelled like him. The joggers sat comfortably low on your hips.

“Feel better?” he asked, trying to keep his tone light.

You nodded. “Surprisingly, yeah.”

He grabbed his keys. “Let’s go, then.”

You walked side by side. Close. Too close, maybe. His hand brushed against yours a few times, just barely.

“Watch it,” you muttered after the third time.

“Not my fault,” he said, not looking at you. “You keep drifting.”

You narrowed your eyes at the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

When you reached the restaurant, he pulled open the door. “Go,” he said, flicking his chin. “Before you embarrass yourself trying to yank this open.”

“Wow,” you scoffed. “Chivalry’s dead.”

Inside the little restaurant, it was quiet. Just the low hum of a fan overhead and the occasional clink of cutlery from the kitchen. You slid into a booth by the window, the vinyl seat cool against your skin. Heeseung sat across from you, stretching his legs under the table with a soft groan.

He picked up the laminated menu and scanned it half-heartedly. “This place is always weirdly cold.”

You shrugged, fingers idly tracing the edge of your water glass. “Better than it being stuffy. I can’t think when it’s hot.”

“You can’t think when you’re cold either,” he pointed out, flipping the menu upside down like the food choices might change.

You smirked. “I can’t think around you, period.” He looked up. Blinked.

You hadn’t meant to say that.

“I mean-when you’re being annoying,” you added quickly, eyes dropping to the menu like it had suddenly become the most important thing in the world. “You’re distracting.”

“Uh-huh,” he said slowly, voice teasing. “Nice save.”

You made a face at him. He just chuckled and leaned back, watching you with that unreadable expression again. Half amused, half something else.

A waitress came by, took your orders, then disappeared just as quickly.

For a while, neither of you said much. You busied yourself with your straw wrapper, folding it into tight little knots. He watched your hands. Then the window. Then you again.

Finally, he asked, “So. Last night.”

You didn’t look up. “What about it?”

He shrugged. “I guess I just… didn’t expect it to bother me as much as it did.” That made you glance at him.

“I thought you weren’t paying attention?” you said carefully.

He let out a short breath. “Yeah. That was… not my finest moment.”

You leaned forward slightly. “Why though?”

Heeseung opened his mouth, then shut it again. Ran a hand through his hair.

“It was just… weird. Seeing you with someone else. Even if it was just a date.”

You tilted your head. “Weird how?”

He didn’t answer right away. His fingers drummed softly against the table.

“I don’t know,” he said finally. “I guess I thought I’d be fine. Like, of course you’re gonna date. That’s normal. But then I saw you standing there with him, and I just-” He exhaled sharply. “It was weird as hell.”

Your throat felt tight. “Heeseung…”

He shook his head, like he regretted saying anything at all. “I’m not trying to make this about me. I just… I care. Okay? Maybe more than I should.” That landed heavier than you expected.

You looked down again. At your straw wrapper. At the water beading on your glass.

“I didn’t like being there,” you admitted, voice low. “The whole thing felt off from the start. Like I was pretending.”

He looked up at that.

“Pretending what?”

“That I wanted to be there. That I didn’t already…” You hesitated. The words felt too big all of a sudden. Too close to something you weren’t sure either of you were ready to say.

“Already what?” he asked, barely above a whisper.

You gave him a small, careful smile. “Already know what I want.”

He stared at you for a moment. Then nodded slowly, like he understood just enough.

“Okay,” he said. “Okay.”

The silence between you wasn’t heavy anymore.

The food arrived, and the moment passed. You both shifted back to easier conversation. Complaining about portion sizes, laughing at how they overcooked his egg, making jabs about your weird sauce preferences.

No one said it, but you both felt it.

It wasn’t a confession. Not exactly.

After the plates were cleared and the bill had been paid, you both just sat there nursing the last of your drinks, your fingers lazily stirring the melting ice around with your straw. Neither of you seemed in a rush to leave.

Heeseung glanced out the window, squinting slightly at the soft morning light filtering in. “It’s still early,” he said, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn that made his voice raspy. “Wanna walk around? There’s that park nearby… you know, the one with the stupidly big ducks.”

You snorted. “The ones that hiss at people?”

“Yeah. You like danger, right?”

You rolled your eyes, but you were already grabbing your bag. “Fine. But if I get chased, I’m sacrificing you.”

“Fair enough,” he said, grinning as he held the door open for you. The morning breeze was crisp, brushing past your cheeks and ruffling his hair a little. He didn’t bother fixing it.

The walk wasn’t far. It was one of those sleepy neighborhood parks. Just a few worn benches, an old slide, some trees that were finally blooming again. You found an empty bench in the shade and plopped down with a sigh; your legs grateful for the break. Heeseung sat beside you, stretching his long legs out in front of him.

For a while, there wasn’t much said. Just the sound of wind rustling through the leaves, the occasional squawk of an aggressive duck, and the distant bark of someone’s dog.

Then, without warning, you glanced sideways and asked, “Anyways, why did you lie when you said you told me about your part-time job?”

Heeseung blinked like you’d thrown cold water on him.

He looked at you, a little startled. “Huh?”

“You told me you already mentioned it,” you said, leaning back against the bench, casual but still watching him. “But I swear you didn’t.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, fidgeting with a napkin he'd absently tucked into his pocket.

“It’s just a part-time job, you know? Nothing special.” You didn’t say anything, waiting.

He sighed, letting his hands fall to his lap. “To be honest, I was kinda embarrassed about it. Figured you'd make fun of me for working at some random diner.”

You raised a brow. “Why would I make fun of you for that?”

He chuckled dryly. “I dunno. I guess I thought you’d see it and think I peaked in high school or something.” He finally met your gaze, sheepish. “Guess I should’ve known better. Since when do you judge people based on stuff like that?”

You cracked a grin. “Well, I’d definitely make fun of how you look while working. But not where or why.”

That made him laugh, really laugh, and you caught a glimpse of his canines when he smiled, the way his eyes crinkled when he wasn’t trying to hide it.

Then, maybe a little too comfortable, you added, “You looked good in that uniform though.” Your mouth shut a second too late.

Heeseung blinked. His eyebrows lifted ever so slightly, and he ducked his head, hiding the blush blooming across his cheeks.

“Oh yeah?” he said, trying for cool but fumbling it. “You... noticed?”

You cleared your throat, willing your face not to burn. “Just saying. It suited you.”

“I thought I looked stupid in it,” he muttered, scratching at his jaw. “Like... cartoon diner boy vibes.”

“You always look stupid,” you said, trying to mask the compliment. “But, like, stupidly good in that uniform. Somehow.”

He turned to you fully now, a full grin spreading across his face. “Stupidly good, huh?” he echoed, nudging your shoulder with his. “I don’t know whether to be offended or flattered.” “Go with flattered,” you muttered.

He laughed softly. “I will then. Coming from you, that’s high praise.”

Then he tilted his head, suddenly thoughtful. “Hey, remember that bet we made in middle school? That if neither of us found anyone by thirty, we’d just marry each other?”

You rolled your eyes. “Jesus, I didn’t think you still remembered that.”

“Of course I do,” he said through a mouthful of whatever snack he’d bought from the park’s sad vending machine. “How could I forget such a ridiculous deal?”

He leaned in a little, his voice playful but low. “Plus, it gives me ten years to write a killer speech for stealing you away. Gotta make it memorable.”

“Ew.” You groaned, half-laughing, half-wanting to throw him off the bench. “You’re so cheesy. Stop! You of all people actually being okay with that is insane.”

Heeseung held up both hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I’ll tone it down.” But the smile didn’t leave his face.

Then his voice dipped, not teasing now. Softer. “But seriously. You’d rather end up with some stranger over someone who already knows you? Someone who’s been there... through everything?”

You looked at him, quiet.

He didn’t push. Just kept talking, like he was thinking out loud.

“Not saying I’d actually do it. But… it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, right? Settling down with someone who already knows all your weird habits and still wants to sit on a park bench with you after diner shifts and awkward first dates?”

The question lingered between you, neither rhetorical nor rushed. It hung in the silence like a soft, open-ended maybe.

You didn’t answer right away. Because honestly, you didn’t know how to.

Instead, you just reached out and flicked the corner of the vending machine snack in his hand.

“I only agree if I get to write your vows.”

He blinked. Then his grin returned, brighter than the morning sun overhead.

“You drive a hard bargain,” he said, voice warm.

You leaned back, letting your shoulders relax against the bench, watching a pair of ducks waddle toward a group of toddlers.

Heeseung was still beside you, just close enough that your knees bumped occasionally. Not a big moment. Nothing dramatic.

But it felt like everything wasn’t quite the same anymore.

So why are you letting it?

The next few days passed normally, with a tinge of peculiarity. You and Heeseung still bickered, still teased and jabbed at each other, but the edge was gone. Things had softened. Like the air had changed after a storm but neither of you wanted to talk about the lightning that had struck.

He'd text you late at night, just a meme or a weird video. You'd answer immediately, even if you were halfway through brushing your teeth. Sometimes he'd swing by the dental building just to walk you to the bus stop. You pretended not to notice the way your heart started doing gymnastics in your chest whenever he leaned a little too close or smiled a little too long.

Nothing had really changed. Except that everything had.

You didn’t dare bring up what he’d said at the breakfast place. The whole "settling down with your best friend" thing. You weren’t sure if he was serious. Heeseung had always joked like that. Always known how to toe the line. But lately, it felt like the line was erasing itself. You didn’t want to risk crossing it too soon.

And then suddenly, it was just a month before the university’s Interdisciplinary Festival. You could feel it in the shift of the campus vibe. Flyers everywhere, group chats buzzing, department chairs acting more high-strung than usual. You weren’t directly involved. Dentistry didn't usually have flashy showcases. Your part was more behind the scenes, coordinating with allied health orgs, preparing booths, boring but practical stuff.

But Performance Arts? That department lived for this. And Heeseung, being a third-year in Movement and Expression, had one of the biggest showcases lined up.

You only heard about it by accident.

You were on the library steps with your friend Hyejin, eating ice cream like it wasn’t ten in the morning. She was scrolling through her phone, showing you some video of someone absolutely bombing their tap dance final, when she went, "Oh my god, wait. You know Heeseung’s partnered with Yeri, right?"

You blinked. "Partnered for what?"

Hyejin tilted her head like it was obvious. "The interdisciplinary showcase. Their final’s a partner performance piece. Live. Like, full-blown duet. Probably something emotional and contemporary."

You laughed, even though your fingers tightened slightly around your spoon. "Sounds dramatic."

She shrugged. "Kinda hot, though. I mean, those two together? They’re gonna look insane on stage. Everyone’s already talking about it. People are betting on whether they’re gonna kiss in the final scene."

Your laugh this time came out too sharp. "Betting? Seriously?"

"It’s the Performance Arts kids. They make everything theatrical. But yeah, it’s all over the department forums. Some freshman even made a Yeri x Heeseung hashtag. It’s gross."

You scoffed, trying to play it off. "Heeseung’s probably dying of embarrassment. He hates that kind of attention."

But your stomach was sinking. Not because of Yeri, not exactly. Yeri was nice. Really fucking nice. And she and Heeseung made sense on paper. Both were tall, talented, and conventionally attractive. They moved in the same artistic circles. They shared a language you’d never really spoken. The idea of them being shipped together wasn’t surprising. It was reasonable.

And maybe that’s what made it worse.

You didn’t say anything to Heeseung at first. Not when he texted you a blurry selfie of himself trying on a costume for rehearsal. Not when he showed up at your library table the next day with a mango smoothie like he always did.

But you noticed the changes. Subtle things. He was always tired now. Rehearsals were eating up his evenings. He’d started humming unfamiliar melodies under his breath. And once, just once, you caught the faint scent of Yeri’s perfume clinging to his hoodie when he leaned over to help you fix your cracked phone screen.

You didn’t even flinch. You just smiled and handed him the new glass. Like always.

Until the cracks finally showed.

It was Friday evening. You’d both ended up on campus late—him from rehearsal, you from a late lab session. He found you sitting by the vending machines, legs curled up on the bench, eyes glued to your notes.

"You look like you haven’t blinked in an hour," he said, tossing you a small snack pack.

"You look like you got hit by a lighting rig," you shot back, eyeing his sweat-soaked hair.

He grinned. But it was tired. Too tired.

You both sat in silence for a moment, the kind that used to feel comforting. Tonight, it felt like holding your breath.

You nudged his knee. "So. The duet."

He stiffened slightly. Not a flinch, but close.

"Ah. That." He leaned back, resting his head against the wall. "You heard, huh?"

You nodded, keeping your tone light. "Whole school has, apparently. You two trending yet?"

He groaned. "Don’t even. Some sophomore tried to interview us for the school paper. I told them to interview my foot instead."

You snorted. "Nice."

Heeseung scratched at his temple. "It’s not that serious, y’know. Just an assignment. Yeri’s chill. She’s focused. No drama."

You stared at him. "You don’t think it’s a big deal?"

He looked at you then, really looked. And for a moment, the easy smile slipped.

"I didn’t say that," he said quietly. "Just... I didn’t ask for her. We were paired. It’s not like I had a choice."

You tried not to react. "Right. Makes sense."

Heeseung’s eyes narrowed a little, studying your expression. "Why? Does it bother you?"

You shrugged. "Why would it? It’s your class. You’re doing what you have to do."

There was a pause. Something taut stretched between you, neither of you daring to pull too hard.

Heeseung tilted his head slightly, his eyes narrowing as he watched you fidget with your notebook. "But it’s bothering you, right?"

You didn’t look up, focusing on the paper in front of you. "I didn’t say that."

He raised an eyebrow. "No, you didn’t. But you’re kind of wearing it on your face."

You huffed, flipping a page in your notebook, trying to avoid the growing tension. "I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of it."

Heeseung chuckled softly, but there was a quiet seriousness behind it. "I’m not making a big deal. You are."

You could feel his eyes on you, but you didn’t give in. "I’m not. Just-" You paused, scratching your pen over the paper more harshly than you intended. "It’s just different, okay? I’m used to having you around, not just in passing. And now… it’s like you’re always somewhere else, in some other world. I don’t know, maybe I forgot what that feels like."

There was a long silence between you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, just a bit too quiet. Heeseung adjusted in his seat, clearly thinking about what you said. You could feel him looking at you, but you kept your gaze fixed downward, pretending like it didn’t bother you.

Finally, he spoke, his voice soft but with a hint of something almost... understanding. "That’s the problem, isn’t it? You’ve been so used to me being around all the time that now it feels weird."

You stiffened, feeling a flicker of irritation. "I’m not saying it’s a problem."

He sighed, leaning back in his chair. "You’re not the best at explaining things, you know that?"

"Well, maybe if you didn’t make everything feel like a thing, it’d be easier to explain."

There was another wave of silence, but this time, it didn’t feel quite as tense. Heeseung shifted again, this time reaching over to poke your arm lightly. "Alright, alright. I get it. You miss me or whatever."

You rolled your eyes, but there was a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. "I don’t miss you, I just-" You stopped yourself before you could say more, mentally cursing your own brain for letting that slip.

"Yeah, sure," Heeseung said, his voice now teasing but still light. "I know you’re just totally fine without me around."

You gave him a look, not bothering to respond. The familiar bickering felt oddly comforting, even if it didn’t solve anything. You could almost pretend like things weren’t shifting, that nothing had changed.

Heeseung leaned a little closer, his voice quieter this time, not quite teasing but not completely serious either. "You know, I’m still here, right? Even if I’m not always right in front of you."

You glanced at him, but your gaze faltered quickly. You couldn’t help but feel the weight of those words, even though they weren’t as heavy as they could have been. "Yeah, I know. You just keep disappearing into your little world for hours."

Heeseung smirked, nudging your arm with his shoulder. "I come back. I always do."

You looked up at him, your expression softening, but you didn’t say anything. For a moment, it felt like there was more between the two of you than you wanted to admit.

Heeseung smiled, the kind of smile that made you want to laugh and roll your eyes at the same time. "Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me."

The university’s interdisciplinary festival was the kind of event that had a little bit of everything: booths on oral health from the Dentistry department, sports exhibitions, and the inevitable Performance Arts showcases that would steal the spotlight, as they always did. Naturally, since the festival spanned multiple departments, each one had its role to play. It was a chaotic, messy combination of everything, but somehow, everything still managed to fall into place. Though not without a bit of stress.

Vicky, your very unfortunately good friend, was the one who dragged you into it.

“You’ve got to come help with the festival, please! I’m begging you!” Vicky had said that day, eyes wide with that slightly manic enthusiasm that usually meant trouble.

You’d wanted to refuse, but you owed her. Big time. You couldn’t exactly back out, not when she’d held a dirty little secret over your head for months. And there was the fact that she’d somehow convinced you to help her out when you’d lost a bet a while ago. This was your punishment, you guessed, helping her run around doing menial tasks for the festival. You sighed dramatically as you agreed, your inner voice grumbling about the mess you were about to step into.

“I’m only doing this because I owe you, Vicky,” you muttered, throwing on your jacket as you followed her to the sign-up table.

“I knew you’d come through,” she grinned widely, practically bouncing on her toes. You shook your head but didn’t argue.

Vicky was good at that, making you feel guilty enough to help her out without ever truly demanding it.

And so, you found yourself getting swept up into the logistics of the festival, running around with other volunteers from different departments. And as fate would have it, you ended up working directly with Yeri.

The thing about Yeri was… she was easy to like. At least, that’s how she came across. She was friendly. Polite. A little too nice at times, in a way that made you feel like she was always trying to read something between the lines. You didn’t know her well. But everyone else seemed to think she was this pure, sweet angel.

It was hard to deny, though, that something about her rubbed you the wrong way now. Maybe it was the way she smiled a little too brightly at you, or the way her eyes lingered on Heeseung just a little too long whenever he was nearby. It wasn’t jealousy, not exactly. At least, you didn’t want to think it was. But there was something unsettling about the ease with which she seemed to glide through everything, untouched and perfect.

And when you saw her, right there in the middle of it all, managing rehearsal coordination for the Performance Arts group, your stomach twisted in knots.

Her smile was so… practiced as she greeted you. Almost too perfect. She was standing by the entrance of the rehearsal room, clipboard in hand as people filtered in. She waved at you when she saw you approach with Vicky, and then stepped forward, offering a cool bottle of water in a way that felt both casual and deliberate.

“Here,” she said, holding it out to you with a small smile. “It’s gonna be a long day. Stay hydrated.”

You took the bottle from her without a word, fighting the urge to scowl. Vicky, ever the optimist, nudged you with a grin before speaking up.

“I’m gonna grab a coffee. You two go ahead and start getting familiar with the space. You’ll be fine, right?”

You barely had time to answer before Vicky disappeared, leaving you with her.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, avoiding Yeri’s gaze. You were about to turn away, but then her voice stopped you, and you froze.

“So,” she said, her voice light but her gaze sharp. “Are you and Heeseung… dating, or...?”

You blinked, caught off guard by the question. Your heart skipped a beat, and you had to fight not to let it show. Your chest tightened, and you almost laughed to cover it up.

“No,” you said, as casually as possible, trying to shrug it off. “We’ve known each other forever.” You wanted to move past this. But Yeri wasn’t letting you off that easily.

“Oh.” Her eyes were deceptively innocent as she tilted her head, her smile soft but there was something unsettling about it. “So, you’re like… family, then?” And just like that, your stomach dropped.

Family. That word. The word that made it sound like nothing between you and Heeseung would ever be more than just what you already were. Not that you even wanted it to be more, right? At least that’s what you tried to tell yourself as you awkwardly fumbled for a response.

You forced a smile, a tight thing that never quite reached your eyes. “Yeah, I guess. That’s one way to put it.”

Yeri didn’t seem to notice, or maybe she just didn’t care. She smiled again, a little too warmly, and nodded as if that answer had satisfied her.

“Family, huh?” She repeated, almost to herself, her eyes narrowing slightly, studying you for a moment longer than necessary.

You didn’t know why, but her words hit you like a punch in the gut. Something about them felt too sharp. Too intentional. It was like she was probing for something, trying to understand exactly how far the relationship between you and Heeseung went. You didn’t want to play her game, but she wasn’t going to let you off easy.

“Right.” You swallowed and finally gave in, looking at her for a second before glancing away.

“Well, we’re not really… family, I guess. Just… friends.”

Her smile flickered, a glint of something unreadable flashing in her eyes. She nodded again, still too perfect, too calm.

“Right. Just friends.”

The tension lingered in the air, thick and suffocating. You tried to shake it off, but it clung to you, following you around like a shadow. You didn’t want to think about what Yeri’s words meant. Didn’t want to think about the fact that, in the back of your mind, they made you feel…small.

Before you could say anything else, someone shouted from across the room, calling for Yeri’s attention. She glanced back at you, giving you one final, soft smile.

“I’ll be around if you need anything,” she said, and with that, she turned away, leaving you standing there, feeling a little more unsettled than you had a moment ago.

You wanted to be mad. You wanted to be angry at the way she’d managed to make you feel like you were something less than you were. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to get upset. Not when you felt…stupid.

And maybe it was because of her. Or maybe it was because of the way your heart had stuttered when she’d asked about you and Heeseung. But either way, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was starting to change… again.

And it wasn’t just with her. It was with Heeseung, too.

For the next few days, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. The way Yeri’s smile had never quite reached her eyes. The way her words seemed so carefully chosen, like she was testing you, seeing how you’d react. You weren’t sure what her angle was, but you knew it was something more than just curiosity.

And Heeseung? He wasn’t making it any easier. You didn’t know if it was the festival getting to you, or the fact that Yeri was always around, her presence like a quiet storm brewing in the background. But you couldn’t escape the feeling that the space between you and Heeseung was widening.

It had always been this easy with him. But now? Now, everything felt...complicated.

It had been a few days since that weird conversation with Yeri. Since that almost-smile you gave her. Since her words, “So you’re like… family?” had been playing on repeat in your head like some cruel inside joke you didn’t know you’d signed up for.

You told yourself you were over it. Told yourself you were being dramatic. But the thing is, once a thought plants itself like that, it doesn’t go away. It twists. It grows teeth. It appears like a teratoma you saw in ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’

The thing about trying to shake something off is that it never really works when you're already spiraling. And after that whole almost-cordial conversation with Yeri a few days ago, the drink offering, the “you’re like family?” line, the way her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, it had been hard not to spiral. You told yourself it wasn’t a big deal. That it didn’t mean anything. People asked offhand questions all the time. Yeri didn’t know better.

But you weren’t stupid. You knew a loaded question when you heard one.

Still, you’d managed to push it down. Not away, just barely under the surface, like stuffing a drawer that wouldn’t quite close. You buried yourself in classwork, in shift hours, in helping Vicky plan her chaos of a booth for the Interdisciplinary Festival. She’d somehow roped you into printing tarpaulin designs and labeling props for a dental hygiene game that involved questionable puppet mascots and glitter glue.

And maybe it was easier to be annoyed at Vicky than to sit still long enough to think about how things felt different lately.

Heeseung hadn’t been avoiding you, no. If anything, he was still... around. Still showing up outside your building with a coffee when you didn’t ask, still bumping his knee against yours under the table during lunch, still sending reels at 2am with a “this is you when you’re hungry” caption.

But something had shifted.

Maybe it was you.

Or maybe it was that you noticed the shift more now that Yeri had stepped out of the periphery and into your shared spaces.

It was a late Thursday afternoon when it happened. The hallway leading to the studio wing was mostly quiet, the usual buzz of activity softened by the fact that most departments were busy prepping their respective booths or showcases. You were carrying a stack of laminated activity cards, something Vicky insisted were “vital to audience engagement,” and cutting through the Performance Arts floor because it was a faster route back to your booth.

You didn’t mean to look.

Really, you didn’t.

You only turned your head because you heard music playing from the open studio door. It was something soft and rhythmic, a piano loop that sounded vaguely familiar. You would’ve kept walking if not for the glimpse of movement in your peripheral vision. A flash of grey sweatpants.

A foot pivoting. The sound of a quiet laugh.

And there they were.

Heeseung and Yeri.

In the center of the studio, mid-run-through. You could tell from their breathing that they were nearing the end. Their movements were fluid, he reached for her wrist, spun her in close, and her hand landed on his shoulder like muscle memory. The music faded into its final notes. She stumbled slightly, and he caught her by the waist without missing a beat.

And then, still holding her, he laughed.

It wasn’t flirtatious. It wasn’t intimate in the way people always imagined.

But it was close.

His forehead brushed hers as he chuckled, and she grinned back, flushed from movement, her hand still resting against his chest.

And just like that, the drawer inside you burst open.

You didn’t wait for the rest of the moment. You didn’t give it the grace of an ending. You turned before they could see you, before Heeseung could glance over and realize you’d been standing there like some pathetic cliché in a drama rerun.

The laminated cards dug into your fingers as you walked faster, then faster still, until the hallway blurred and your breath caught unevenly in your throat.

You knew it wasn’t a big deal. Knew that this was rehearsal. Knew that Heeseung didn’t look at Yeri the way he looked at you when you were both cracking jokes in line for ramen, or when you were arguing over toothpaste flavors at the convenience store.

But knowing didn’t mean anything when your brain kept replaying that image. His hands on her waist, their laughter floating in sync, the ease of it all.

And the worst part?

The worst part was how normal it all looked.

How good they looked together.

You don’t remember walking down the stairs.

Your legs must’ve carried you out of the performance wing on autopilot, but your brain was stuck on loop, replaying the scene you weren’t supposed to see. The way he held her. The stupid laugh. That split second of closeness. You kept telling yourself it wasn’t even romantic, and yet here you were, nearly tripping over your own feet on the way back to the volunteer booth because your chest felt tight and hollow at the same time.

By the time you made it to the central quad, the heat in your ears had barely faded. Students were scattered across folding tables, tape guns snapping open, boxes getting unpacked.

Someone was blasting a speaker near the MedTech stall. It was all just noise.

You spotted Vicky instantly, perched like a gremlin on top of a chair, one leg folded under her as she furiously labeled laminated tags. Her drink was half-spilled next to a tangle of string lights. Typical.

You dropped the flyers in front of her with a little too much force.

Vicky flinched. “Damn. You tryna give me a paper cut to the throat or something?” You didn’t answer.

She peered at you, head tilted. “You good?” Still nothing.

Vicky blinked. “Okay, mood.”

You sat down wordlessly across from her, staring blankly at the label sheet.

After a beat, she gave you a look. “...You passed by the rehearsal studio, didn’t you?” That snapped your head up.

Your silence was enough of a confession.

Vicky hissed through her teeth. “I told you not to take the back hallway. Didn’t I literally say not to risk it today?”

“I wasn’t trying to spy,” you said stiffly. “It was just the fastest way. I wasn’t expecting-”

“Well, yeah. No one expects to get punched in the gut by destiny.”

You frowned. “This isn’t some drama.”

“Isn’t it?” she countered, flicking a label onto a folder. “Because I’m pretty sure that looked a hell of a lot like the third-act misunderstanding in Twilight. You’re Bella. Yeri’s the romantic rival. Heeseung’s the-”

“Don’t,” you warned. “Do not call him Edward.”

Vicky shrugged, deadpan. “I was gonna say Jacob, actually. But tomato, tomato.”

You shot her a glare, but your heart wasn’t in it. Your stomach was still twisted up, your chest still humming with that awful buzzing feeling. Like jealousy, but meaner. Heavier.

She studied you for a moment before softening, her voice dipping lower. “Look, I get it. I know it sucks. And I know you’re not gonna say it out loud, but you’re mad.”

“I’m not mad.”

“You’re jealous, then.”

“I’m not-” You bit off the rest, jaw tight. “I’m not anything.”

Vicky gave you the most annoying knowing smile. “Sure. Which is why you’re out here nearly cracking a hole in my table.”

You folded your arms, but the motion felt defensive even to you.

She pressed. “Be real, though. Are you actually upset about the duet? Or about the fact that it looked... comfortable?” That landed.

You exhaled sharply and looked away. “It wasn’t even romantic.”

“But it could’ve been. If you didn’t know better.” Vicky leaned back in her chair. “That’s what stings the most, huh?”

You didn’t answer. You didn’t have to.

She watched you for a second, then leaned forward, voice softer now. “Look. I know it’s easier to pretend it’s nothing. But I also know you. And you don’t look at people like that unless it means something.”

You swallowed hard.

“Even if you can’t say it,” she added gently, “you feel it. That’s enough to make this kind of thing hurt.”

You stared down at the table. A breeze lifted one of the corner tags and fluttered it against your arm.

“I told myself I didn’t care,” you murmured. “Everyone knows they’re partnered. I thought I was fine. I was fine.”

“And then you saw it.”

You nodded, slowly. “He laughed.”

Vicky raised a brow. “And that’s the crime?”

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “It’s just… he laughed like it was easy. Like she belonged there. In his arms. I’ve seen him do duets before, but this...” You trailed off. Your throat felt tight.

“She’s good at what she does,” Vicky said, not unkindly. “And she’s not stupid. She knows exactly how she comes off.”

“I know.”

“She probably knows you’re watching, too.” You blinked at her.

“C’mon,” Vicky said, scoffing. “Yeri’s not dumb. She asked if you and Heeseung were dating in the most suspiciously casual way imaginable. You think she wasn’t testing the waters?”

You clenched your jaw, that old bitterness creeping back in. “She said we were like family.”

“Oh, ouch.”

“Yeah.”

Vicky sighed, sliding her drink over to you. “You want me to ‘accidentally’ trip and spill glitter on her head?”

You cracked a laugh. It was weak. Shaky. But real.

“I’m serious,” she said, straight-faced. “I’ll ruin her whole aesthetic. It’ll be glitterpocalypse.” “I appreciate the offer,” you mumbled.

A long silence stretched between you, filled only by the sounds of other students setting up around you, the distant hum of another speaker kicking on.

And then Vicky said, softer, “You’re allowed to feel things, you know. Even if you’re not dating him. Even if no one said anything out loud yet.”

You blinked fast. The backs of your eyes were starting to sting.

“But what if I’m just... reading too much into it?” you asked, voice quiet. “What if I’m the only one who thinks we’re… whatever we are?”

“You’re not,” Vicky said firmly. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. It’s not just you.”

You stared at the tabletop, her words echoing in your chest like they wanted to stick but didn’t know where to land.

“Just don’t let this one moment undo everything you’ve built with him,” she added, nudging your hand. “You guys have history. Depth. That beats any choreography any day.” You nodded slowly, even though the ache hadn’t left. Not really.

But for now, you stayed.

You let Vicky drag you into more prep work, into stringing lights and faking jokes, into the chaos of your friendship, even while the image of Heeseung and Yeri refused to leave the back of your mind.

Even while the burn lingered.

Even while the question, the one you never said out loud, twisted deeper inside you:

If you were really his person...

Then why did it feel like he was learning to smile in someone else's direction?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[torglives]

on pangi and abandonment

awhile ago, on stream, lukey threw around the words commitment issues when talking about tr pangkey. it is more likely than not that he was talking about his own character, but a lot of the audience assumed he was taking a shot at pangi. which is very… hmm! not in a bad way, i think it just goes to show how easy it is to misinterpret his actions if you aren't clocked into the way he navigates his relationships with people.

he obviously has issues, but with his attachments they stem more from (i'd argue entirely from) his deep-rooted fear of abandonment rather than commitment.

pangi is passionately committed to people. this has never been something he's tried to hide or keep secret. it's something that cc pili mentioned during an on-stream ooc conversation about pangili/pangkey (watch that whole conversation, actually. he's nailed pangi's character very well. and his own obviously but that's a given. i love pili) -- "there is you who, i feel like you have separation anxiety to some degree. i feel like you're very "it's this person, or nothing." ... kind of like a ride or die situation." -- he brings up also, why this was such a point of contention between pangili1, because they had very different attachment styles, with mocha tending to lean towards avoidant attachment.

in the clip linked, a chatter says "abandonment issues hmm i wonder why (lifesteal)"-- and that's the perfect segway for me to drag ls pangi back into the spotlight. yay! i've said this before, but lifesteal and pangi's relationships on the server/throughout its history are probably one of the most important keys to really understanding him. on lifesteal, pangi has never truly been anyone's first choice. he devotes himself to people, to causes, but no matter how hard he'll ride or die for those things, it is never reciprocated. at his core, he is very lonely. he's not wanted in the way he wants to be wanted, but gives it his all anyway. it always ends the same way, he always ends up the same way: alone. quite literally abandoned.

of course this translates into the realm, and pangi finally finds someone who, to him, is what he's been looking for--his ride or die. his person, as much as he is theirs--in pili. it's pili or nothing, and this is the first time it's been mutual, so he plays it by ear. he lets it grow into co-dependancy willingly, because to be wanted is everything he's been looking for. but pangi is no stranger to abandonment, and during their first crisis, when pili says 'i don't trust you anymore,' pangi shuts down. he tries re-working over that open wound that pili left in his (VERY BRIEF) absence, because it's how he's learned to adapt. they, of course, come back together. and then pili dies, brutally, in front of him, with clown in mind. in february, after mocha died, i wrote this in an (outdated) (so i won’t link it) thought post:

pangi, as a character, is unable to linger. he feels the need to jump from thing to thing, never giving himself the proper time to sit and process. when his worst fear is proven, when he is shown that he isn't wanted or needed somewhere--he shuts down the part of himself that was trying to be wanted and needed. his way of 'staying on top of it all' is just adding another layer. he buries it under something new, and tries to forget about it and barrel onto the next thing. it never works.

which applies here too. i think it says everything i could even say. pili dies, and pangi is once again alone. despite his commitment, despite pili’s, it wasn’t enough.

and then ros and aimsey come along, and they’re kind to him--they get stuck in the null together, and nobody else can understand that outside the three of them. they both say things like "it’s us against the world," and "the three of us," and this works for awhile. pangi has people he can devote himself to, but this time it’s different, because there’s a disconnect--there’s a part of pangi that they don’t understand, the parts that more or less belonged to pili. pangi gives his all, but more importantly, his trust, but he’s never been great with words, and there’s no intrinsic understanding of violence like he’s used to, so it causes fallout. pili and pangi shared a similar mindset, that’s part of what made them work so well. for pangi, pili had aspects of home. ros and aimsey, despite how much they care, don’t understand that culture. ros breaks his trust, once, and to him, that’s abandonment. that’s always been a tell-tale sign of it. that’s betrayal, so pangi refuses to linger. he kills at the ball, takes the brunt of their anger, and leaves, because someone must leave. someone always must leave, so he does.

aimsey finds him a few days after, and says: "why did you think we hated you? it’s not like you do one thing that makes us upset and suddenly you’re the worst person in the world." -- but honestly, that’s all pangi knows. it’s all, or it’s nothing.

he still cares about them, so much, but it has put a permanent strain on their relationship, on his trust for them, because they don’t understand each other in the same way. he cannot be truly devoted to them, because he has been shown that they are not truly devoted to him. and that’s not their fault, not at all, it’s simply a gap in understanding. it’s something that pangi doesn’t understand about them, or them about pangi.

what’s that quote? "if you give me the slightest hint of abandonment and withdrawal, i would outdo you."

i could go into detail about the intricacies with his relationship with lukey too, but if you compare them to the points i’ve listed i’m sure you can draw the conclusions yourself--why they work so well, aligning in areas that have been missing.

people are very familiar with his hate, because it burns bright and is unavoidable. people are less familiar with his love, just as passionate, because it is easier to overlook, it’s less common. he is undoubtably devoted to those he hates and those he loves, and is consumed by how he feels for both of them. he will always commit, but is terrified at the slightest taste of being left behind, of being a second choice. of not meaning to others what they mean to him. again. it’s all, or it’s nothing.

[ddlydevotion]

Grace and Bo Chow both being infatuated with you 💌 ₊˚⊹⋆

a/n: I hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing this! This post contains nsfw content/slightly obsessive behavior so proceed with caution. This is also quite long so I apologize for that. Look out for a part two!

currently listening to: Cupid by Sam Cooke

You met Bo first. You applied for a job at the shop and proved yourself to be incredibly dependable. He allowed you to count the money in the register, keep logs of what was going in & out of the store, and take care of client records and accounts. The two of you had a purely professional relationship, but if a professional relationship consisted of longing glances, lingering touches, and endearing nicknames.

You knew he was married, the golden band around his ring finger didn't let you forget the fact that he was. You felt horrible for even entertaining the nicknames and the close contact he kept with you, but you considered yourself to be on the safe side of things. As long as the two of you kept the touchiness to a minimum and didn't take your affection for one another to the bedroom, everything was fine.

His wife, Grace, tended to their shared store on the white side of town. She'd occasionally pop into the store to check in on Bo & their daughter, making sure she completed her tasks for the day. Afterwards, she'd never fail to make her way up to you and ask about your day.

"How are ye doin? Bo been treatin' you well?"

"You're doin' a good job around 'ere, girl. We gotta keep you here, don't want the other stores to try an' take ye from us."

Bo would affirm her praise by nodding his head and adding in his own little two cents. Grace wouldn't shy away from rubbing your arm or placing a delicate finger underneath your chin while saying "you're a real pretty girl, y'know that?". Her physical touch could be disguised as something playful and sweet, something between two women that were fond of one another. But, as the two of them made eye contact over your head they knew that what they had in store for you was anything but playful.

The playful banter between the three of you continued for weeks after that. You didn't expect anything more to blossom from your friendship with the married couple, but the clueless cloud you had over your head was quickly blown away one night. It was usual for them to invite you over to have dinner at their shared home. It was a common occurrence that even Lisa looked forward to as you were never anything but kind to her.

If you try to tell them that you wouldn't be able to make it due to a packed schedule, they'd do everything in their power to convince you to show anyway.

"Oh, we promise we won't keep you long. C'mon ya could just come on over for some dinner and make your way home after that. promise."

"awe are ya sure? Lisa was really lookin' forward to seeing ya again."

Sure, it was common for them to invite you over for dinner. However, it wasn't all too common for them to invite you into their bedroom. They'd usually keep you past midnight to have conversation going in the kitchen, but Bo offered to move the late night ritual into their bedroom. The conversation went on as normal and the wine in your glass disappeared by the minute. You sat with your legs crossed on their wooden-framed bed, the couple sat right in front of you. Bo's hand made a home for itself on the skin of your thigh that peaked from underneath your dress, he rarely ever showed such explicit affection like this. You expected Grace to become angry with the two of you, rightfully so, and have the night come to an end. Instead, she moved towards you and swept your hair out of your face with those delicate fingers of hers you've come to admire.

"I don't think ya know just how pretty ya are. I mean, jus' look at that face, baby. You just might be the prettiest damn thing I've ever seen." Bo's hand moved towards the inside of your thigh and a small smile stretched across his lips. "s'true, sweetheart", both of his hands eventually moved towards the inside of your thighs, spreading you open for him, Grace shuffling behind you before positioning your head to lay on her lap.

The night ended with your legs curved around Bo's slender waist as he pumped his cock into you, the coarse hair at the base of his cock stimulating your pulsing clit once he finally bottomed out. Grace kept herself busy, too. She rubbed your throbbing clit with her middle & ring finger, occasionally cradling your flushed cheeks and encouraging you to "take that cock, baby. s'so big, ain't it? I know, I know", shushing your whines and cooing at your fucked out expression. She couldn’t help but smile when you let out a surprised squeal at the feeling of her fingers tweaking and pinching your sensitive nipples.

Your relationship with the Chow's was never made public to the town, I mean, why would it be? Everyone in your close circle knew that the three of you were quite the close bunch of friends, but they didn't know the rest of it.

I can definitely see the both of them being possessive over you. They could see you talking with a friend of yours outside of the store and immediately interrogate you about it.

"She's just a good friend of mine! What's this all about?"

"Y'know damn well what this is all about. She looked like she was imaginin' what ya looked like without your clothes on."

It'd make them inexplicably upset to see you in a relationship with anyone that isn't them. They'd never allow you to do so without putting up a fight, though. It'd be foolish for you to think they'd let you go so easily. Even if you did get romantically involved with anyone else, you'd never be truly satisfied. Grace and Bo raised your standards to the damn moon and it'd be impossible for anyone to try and fill their shoes. Whenever your partner did anything wrong, you couldn't help but think "they'd never do that to me."

Helping Grace whenever she's working on a sign for a client. She doesn't hold back on sharing just how proud she is of you when you finish up a paint job.

Sharing many passion filled nights with the couple at the Juke Joint. You spend so much time sat at the bar without ordering anything just to talk to Grace. Bo pulls you in to dance with him and no one around bats an eye. What's wrong with two friends sharing a dance together? However, the way his glistening eyes gaze into yours with such intense passion behind them is anything but platonic.

It's incredibly easy for you and Grace to hide the true nature of your relationship. Nobody suspects anything even when her arm is firmly wrapped around your waist, or when her lips graze your cheek in a sweet peck. That's just how good friends celebrate one another.

They always find themselves on your front porch with gifts and they hardly ever show up empty handed. The gifts range from sundresses perfect for the southern heat, pastries they know you'll enjoy, savory treats the both of them worked on.

You're constantly heading over to their home and being convinced to stay the night by the sweet-talking couple. They don't entertain the possibility of you staying in a spare room, they want you to make yourself familiar & comfortable with their bedroom. Their spare room is honestly quite useful in having visitors believe that's where you stay, assisting in avoiding any questions about the true nature of your 'friendship'.

Bo wraps himself around your body like a koala and Grace curls herself into a fetal position in front of you, relishing in the feeling of your warm arms around her.

taglist: @officialthrad @bochowswife @thegr33nc0met @missroro @mjwhis @foreid let me know if you'd like to be added!

[aturzz]

A trip.

summary : you go on a trip (or just having a "date") with bllk boys (pre-relationship and he has a crush on you). characters : isagi yoichi, bachira meguru, chigiri hyoma, kunigami rensuke, itoshi rin, itoshi sae. cw : out of character since i haven't really read the manga (but im watching they're analysis to make sure things are okay so meh :/) a/n : lmao i went on a trip today and my camera roll just kinda exploded.

isagi yoichi :

it's his birthday so you drag him to your favourite place (cough an aquarium cough)

poor boy was so nervous because that's a huge opportunity!!

the type of person who'd write a whole essay in his head and then forgets everything when he saw you.

he almost cried and you have to comfort him first.

walk around the aquarium and being squished together since there's a lot of people.

his hand brushed against yours and you hold it so you won't lost him (he's screwed).

the confession was a simple, quick "i love you" when you two enter a quiet area.

you and him stares into each other's gaze before snap out eventually.

"so… your answer?"

"dang i thought you were smarter than that."

continues holding hands while walk home with a world that had lost two single people.

bachira meguru :

would be the type of person who takes you out to a park. maybe a theme park.

goes around bouncing up and down, visits all the food halls and whines to get you to all the fun.

you have to hold him for a moment for him to calm down.

then he runs away again-

it's all chaos, but at least he shares food.

screams incoherent "i love you" when riding roller coaster and you can't even hear.

goes on the merry-go-round and keep joking about him being your knight in a shining armor (you turn him down immediately about he will fit in more if he's a clown).

eat ice cream and he stares at the corner of your mouth since there's a little ice cream sticking on.

going home with him yelling "today's fun".

"yeah, it is."

"fun because i'm with you, don't you think?"

"who are you?"

he goes on a full rambling about who he is and why he's the one for you, or why are the reasons he likes you acceptable.

"when did i say i don't have those feelings back?"

he carries you and skips all the way home.

chigiri hyoma :

a coffee shop with flower aesthetic will do.

"you look nice", he greets you.

then you two sit in silence.

you watch him sipping coffee and you wonder who is the princess here.

he looks so elegant when he scrolls on his phone.

you try to start a conversation but he's too lost in thoughts.

so you kinda admire him while he daydreams about you and him (how)

the whole afternoon was boring as hell, you two only sips coffee and scrolls on phones.

but when you stood up to leave, he follows you.

you brought a bouquet, you had always feel fond of the flowers.

"you have a good choice of 'em."

"they have your palette."

you shove the bouquet into his hands sheepishly as he froze.

"make sense..."

"do you...?"

the whole thing unfolds awkwardly, but at least he nodded.

kunigami rensuke (post-wc) :

he picks you up as the gentleman he is.

you barely get an answer when you greet him, though.

you have no idea what to do and what to think when he looks like he can murder anyone in the room.

still, when he drags you close to him in a crowded place, you reconsider your life.

that big, warm and gentle bear is just living inside that man. you knew it. you only have to wait for it to come out again.

it's a quick walk to his favourite ramen shop since he won a match. cool, you're paying him. (why not?)

he watches you eat, listens to your rambling and sometimes nod, but he's actually zoning out.

dang he needs to tell you soooo bad

you don't notice it when he stares at the roses outside.

walks you home because he's a goodboy.

"call me when you're home."

"we're at the doorsteps?"

sighs exhaustedly and told you since you're so dense.

you stare at him. then you giggle and said that you like him too.

a soft break for him and a warm evening for you.

itoshi rin :

ice cream shop because he feels like it.

have the best recommendations for you (like he didn't note down your likings and dislikings)

scold you when you swirl your cup, but is that a little warmth you hear in it?

you bring a camera too so he had to be your free model.

man secretly spells that specific 8 letters.

"what are you doing?"

"nothing."

you intensely gaze at him but he gives less than a fuck.

"well, lucky me, you're a photogenic." you change the subject.

"cool." he then left you at the shop.

you rush outside to see him lending you a hand.

he's messing with you for sure.

he walks through the longest, curviest roads to see you try to catch up with him (he thought you look adorable).

sitting at a random bench with him pointing at a couple,

"hey, look."

like, no, rin, people don't do that.

"mhm?" you mean what?

"mm." that thing.

"hm." yeah, i like you too.

he gently bump his feet against yours, responding,

great to know.

itoshi sae :

it's hard to get away from shidou but here he is.

you two go to a history of tea museum since he really likes salt kelp tea.

he looks like "😐" when you're basically jumping around with sparkles in your eyes.

"sae, aren't they cool?"

*shrugs*

even have to apologize to a random man because you bump into him.

going to the museum shop and all he did was brought some tea for you to try.

"this taste weird. try it!"

"are you trying to lure me in an indirect kiss?"

he refuse but keep staring at the bottle cap.

ends up asking why do you think it's weird.

ends up confessing (with the straightest face ever) because you got suspicious.

ends up having the both of you blushing—one heavily, one slightly.

taglist : @ohagiyoo.

[honeytonedhottie]

honey's hot-girl guide to summer (2025 edition)⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍦👙

how to have the best summer EVER from a certified hottie (me), all the little tips and tricks to look your best, have a great time and enjoy yourself this summer…💬🎀

THE PERFECT TAN ;

so as you guys can probably tell from my username i am a honey toned hottie, but during the summer i love to look a little more bronzy and glowy. and i've learned some things when it comes to getting a tan that comes out perfectly.

❤︎ salt water spray before tanning

ik this sounds crazy but LET ME TELL YOUUU. salt water reflects sunlight and removes oils -> making your skin more exposed to the UV rays -> you tan even more for a less amount of time. UR WELCOME. and ik it might sound crazy but literally just try it. dont forget to put ur SPF on first though

❤︎ stay moisturized

❤︎ tan in intervals, x amount of time per side

STAY BUSY ;

the worst feeling is when school rolls around and you realize that you've wasted the entire summer. DONT LET THAT BE YOU. look up "things going on in my area" and find something that you like, plan out things to do over the summer in a google doc with your girls (thats what i did this year) in fact, make it more fun by introducing a points system which we'll talk about more in the next section.

SUMMER POINTS SYSTEM ;

so the idea behind this is each task is worth x amount of points and we add up all the points that you made throughout the whole summer. the winner gets something off of their wishlist. everyone has access to the doc so its their own responsibility to make sure that they participate

if you want more info on the summer points system i'd love to share my doc with y'all so you guys could have a super fun summer too…💬🎀

LOOKING GOOD ALL SUMMER LONG ;

if you haven't read my summer beauty/glow up guide yet WHAT R U EVEN DOING? in there i go super in depth about summer beauty and how to look absolutely fabulous but i'll go over some of the basics in this post.

first we wanna be ACTIVE. going on walks everyday or working out 4-5 times a week. my go-to formula that hasn't failed me yet is a workout split of cardio, weight training and reformer pilates. the reformer pilates is like, once a week but weight training is more regularly.

glittery glowy skin. use body butters and nectars, lotions, and most IMPORTANTLY body glitter. we wanna shimmer and sparkle, especially if ur showing skin this summer, look like a shimmery mermaid. ash is not allowed under ANY circumstance.

SUMMER FASHION ;

think, bubble gum beach BUNNY. thats how i love to dress for the summer. halter tops and dresses, ruffle-layered skirts, denim shorts, cute bikinis. THINGS LIKE THAT. i also wear soft teals, pastels and of course pinks during the summer so thats the color palette. some essentials for the summery look are

hoop earrings (especially bamboo hoops)

a good pair of denim shorts

baby tees and halter tops

little ruffle skirts

wedges and platform pumps

bangles

bracelet and necklace stacks

MAKE SUMMER RULES ;

its always important to have a standard for yourself when it comes to anything at all so outline some summer rules for yourself. here are mine ->

🥥 no bed-rotting days/staying in bed all day

🌺 no putting urself in dangerous situations. BE SAFE.

🥥 stay hydrated and keep SPF on your skin

🌺 take LOTS and lots of photos

🥥 fruit salads + coconut water! my faves

[subwillsolace]

try shit tuesday nsfw reference post

ongoing and (hopefully.) frequently updated! here is a list of my current ideas & hopefuls including any outlines or snippets i have available.

set up will look like:

idea

general outline/summary

snippet

will having a nerd kink

will is trying to study in cabin 13, because its quieter than 7. but it is raining, so nico is hosting a mythomagic (functionally dnd) session with his nerd friends, and will cannot focus For Shit. he is so horny he is literally about to die. nico picks up on it eventually and kicks his friends out so he can fuck will while whispering stats in his ear. lol.

Oh, he is going to fail. He is going to fail for real. He tries, although he knows it's futile, to calm down the raging in his chest, his stomach. He stares at the walls, then looks quickly away when it is covered in photos of them, their friends; he looks to the door, where his jacket is hanging; to the bathroom, where their toothbrushes lean against each other in the cup; to the stupid bedpost, where Nico, bored out of his mind the last time Will banished him to bedrest, carved their initials in a heart. His heart explodes, a little. He can feel the pounding of it in his fingers and toes and squirms to try and quiet the heat in his hips and thighs. It does nothing except remind him of the bruises they get, sometimes, in the same shape of Nico's fingers, smarting in purple satisfaction. "Ohhhh, my gods," he whispers to himself, squeezing his eyes shut. There are still -- people here, people he knows and loves, and they are not looking at him and it makes them all that much easier to forget, because when he looks over again Nico is laughing, cackling, really, reading off a triumphant list of their consequences as they howl in outrage and whip unlucky dice at the wall. "You set us up!" hollers one of them -- Connor Stoll, Will thinks. "It was a trap, the whole time!" "And you fell for it," Nico taunts. "Oh, that was easy. Shoulda kept your head up, huh, hotshot? The clues were there. I was rooting for you." The noise that sounds out the back of Will's throat is so heady and embarrassing that he's grateful, suddenly, for the group of people in the way, being loud, because if anyone apart from himself heard it he's not sure he could live with himself. If Nico heard it...says a small voice in the back of his brain, and Will begs it to shut up. Instead, images flash in the forefront of his mind, edged hazy from the heat of Will's memory: Nico, eyes dark; Nico, too-sharp canines gleaming in the low light; Nico, sweat beading on his smirking top lip; Nico, Nico, Nico.

hermes/will/nico threesome (to punish cecil for his crimes).

cecil pushes things a touch too far and will loses his entire mind. in revenge, he vows to fuck cecil's dad, not only to cause him menial distress by virtue of 'i fucked your dad' but, because, when they were young, they slept together, and will keeps a diary. so he is going to fuck cecil's dad to report back to him stroke for stroke how he compares. cecil considers suicide. not only cecil, actually, because will is stomping around camp trying to find ways to make himself hotter for hermes' next delivery, and it is working, and nico, yearning, is Fucking Struggling, and oh yeah, worse, will has asked him to help 'practice kissing' as he is out of practice. he is not flirting, he's serious. nico is going to kill him, and then also die. luckily for him will starts to clue in when when hermes takes him somewhere nice, and lucky for will hermes is willing to share.

"So maybe this is secretly a good thing," Cecil defends, foolishly. He straightens his back, crossing his arms stubbornly. "See, I -- saved you. From a day of work and misery." He juts out his chin, turning his head primly to the side. "Maybe you should be thanking me." A sharp gasp rips through the gathered crowd, every single person reacting viscerally and bodily; some, bet-winners, in delight, most in total, dumbfounded shock. Lou Ellen, of the first to recover -- perhaps of the most used to it -- stands on a large rock and begins reciting a long and quite touching obituary for the son of Hermes from the top of her head. Will, for a solid couple minutes, does not move. His spine is set in total rigidity, hands frozen in fists at his side. In what Nico first thinks is a trick of the eye, there is, between the skin showing through dried, cracking paint, a flicker. And then, like beams of light bursting through a cracking chunk of magma, he glows. "Gone, but never forgotten," recites Lou Ellen, increasingly seriously, "he will be remembered for his bravery, or perhaps the bubbles in his brain that allowed it, and for the gruesome, brutal way that he is going to be killed, just about right now. Cecil Markowitz, you will be --" Will' shoulders twitch. Cecil squeezes his eyes shut. The distant sounds of crashing waves fade away. And then, Will laughs. He doubles over. He places his stained hands on his still-wet knees and wheezes; in moments, there is a chuckle, and then there are giggles, and then the rest of the crowd laughs, too -- nervous, and relieved; wide-eyed and tense. "Haha," says Cecil, glancing around anxiously, "you forgive me, right, Will, 'cause that sounds like your crazy laugh, a little, and --" All at once Will yanks himself upright. The crowd immediately silences. Nico holds his breath. Will's smile is small, and crazed, His eyes are so dilated that they are bluer than the sun, almost no black to be found -- he stares at Cecil so intensely and so unblinkingly that Nico can actually taste his dread. "I am going to fuck your dad," Will says, grinning. "I'm gonna -- seduce your actual living father."

nico fucking will while on the phone

outlined here

"Nico," he gasps, hand tightening in his hair, "Nico, Niccolò, please, please --" "I got you," Nico murmurs, stomach writing, "I got you, princess -- " he grins when Will shouts, pushing up his rumpled shirt -- "you're so good --" A loud, piercing ringing makes them both freeze. It persists, and then the pocket of Nico's discarded jacket starts buzzing, and he groans. "Leave it," Will hisses. "Just -- come here --" "I can't," Nico says miserably. "It's --" Will knows who it is, because he groans, loudly, and slumps against the pillows. Nico untangles himself guiltily and digs his stupid phone out of his pocket. "Hello, boy." "What," Nico snaps. Which is probably not the way to greet the Lord of the Dead, but. Will huffs, rolling his eyes. Nico tries to link their fingers together but he snatches his hand away, sulking back against the headboard. Sorry, Nico mouths, hands spread. Will kicks his shoulder. Nico catches his foot, turning his leg and pressing a kiss to his ankle. Will visibly softens, then gets huffy about having given in so easily. Nico grins. "You are not paying attention to me." "No, no, I'm --listening." Nico winces, glancing down at the phone. "Uh, insolence, respect, your holy position as my father, etc, etc." "...You are the worst heir I have ever created." "Yeah, well, unfortunately for you you're shit out of options, so --"

god & prince consort solangelo centuries in the future; will c0ckwarming nico in the court

outline and snippet both here

will getting teased with 'goddamn yall fuck so often you're gonna end up pregnant' and uh oh that Does Something For Him

the thing is that nico has a cabin to himself and will is in there all the time and he might take his medical bad in there for show but not a fucking soul believes him. everyone knows what he is going in there for. mostly because people have brains but also because will is. Loud. and once in passing someone teases "damn will with all i hear going on in there i wouldn't be surprised if nico knocked you up." and its a stupid fucking joke and will haha yeahs his way out of it but Oh Gods he cannot stop thinking about it. it is All he thinks about. and one day when nico is off hunting errant souls or whatever will is holed up in his cabin, just escaping everybody else for a bit, and the bed smells like nico and hes wearing nicos shirt even though its too tight and nico has been gone a couple days and he Misses Him. fuck. in a lot of different ways. so he starts to get horny and hes fingering himself and imagining nico behind him talking low in his ear. the nico in his imagination is a little teasing and rough as he usually is and hes got four fingers stretching himself imagining theyre nico's and imaginary nico says, "Look how good you're taking my fingers up your pretty pussy," and its like, out of nowhere, a little, and will is not expecting it from his own subconscious and he Loses it and cums so hard he damn near blacks out for a second and he blinks himself stable and is like well, fuck.

because nico is gay as all fuck.

nico gets back and will is DODGY. distant and jumpy and keeps finding excuses to not be around him and nico is like 🤨 something is Not Right. so he threatens celibacy until will cracks and hes like okay remember that. stupid fucking joke. and nico is like no?? obviously?? so will has to explain and he is more and more embarrassed and gets quieter and quieter until he just trails off looking into his lap tense as all fuck. not sure what he's waiting for but he knows it's not going to be good. a gentle rejection, hopefully.

but nico is so hard it is actually painful.

and hes surprised at himself a little because he wouldnt expect this to get him off so bad but th emore he imagines it the more like fuckin Unwell he is. so they fuck and nico id very careful with his dirty talk and hot damn does will ever clench up and its just hot as fuck truly.

lou ellen/will/cecil threesome

porn no plot. cecil/lou established. watching will play volleyball and like.......damn. they look at each other. they nod. no words need be spoken. they invite will back to lou's cabin to 'hang out' and come onto him and he goes Bright Red but is very happy to be fucked yeah.

s3x pollen fic where if will isnt constantly getting pumped full of sp3rm his heart will literally stop. cue him getting fcked for hours on hours by literally everyone willing.

outline here

will getting injured and forced on bedrest and hes so bored and frustrated and horny that nico just has to f ck him. but regular f cking will jostle his injury so he fists him

outline here

mortal au

will gives nico a kitkat after every time they fuck and nico slowly realizes he's being pavlov'd into being a ridiculously good fuck. mostly a comedy and a porn without plot of will and nico fucking in various ways in their early 20s dorm days.

will getting teased about being a pillow princess and getting so mad about it that he rides nico so hard that nico accidentally forces the day to turn into night and sends the actual northern hemisphere into turmoil

will gets teased about being a pillow princess. implied he wouldn’t have the endurance to do what nico does. and he gets PRESSED. scowly and mad and celibate (nico is regretting his words hard lol) and Scheming. will pops in his cabin one day going hey give me your credit card. and nico does, obviously, but he’s like babe hey i was Joking. it was a bad joke. i’m sorry. you do lots and im sure you could do just as much if not more and i’m sorry okay. please. and will is like oh you’re SURE? that’s how it is. and nico is ready to collapse on the ground or go back in time to kick his own ass bc he hasn’t had to like handle himself with his own hand for YEARS this is torture. will is nowhere to be found all day and he sleeps in the apollo cabin at night it’s awful. (it has been 2 days.).

one day he wakes up to a note telling him to go to manhattan but NOT to shadow travel so he’s confused and walks slowly to half blood hill where there’s a LIMO waiting for him. with a real and very confused mortal driver. he gets taken to this Massive fckn ornate hotel and bell hopped up to the fckn penthouse and his bags are brought in, he’s quietly told his room service is waiting for him in the bedroom, and at this point nico isn’t even horny he’s so goddamn confused. what’s going on. where’s will. is this his fathers doing. is he about to die. huh. but he walks into the room sword lowkey drawn and there’s WILL, in the Sluttiest scrubs he’s maybe ever seen in his life, eyes professionally distant and holding a bottle of oil in his hands telling him to lay down for a massage. and nico is like well okay i am not complaining. i still don’t know entirely what’s going on but i am not complaining. so he gets his massage and it’s hot as fuck obviously bc will is good with his hands and then yeah, it does have a happy ending. will sucks him off and it’s GREAT.

but then will pushes him back against the headboard and uses his own tie (or something i have not yet decided) to tie his hands to the headboard. and will is calling him my prince and your highness and shit and kissing down his chest and nico is WRITHING and then. and then. will rides him so fckn hard. like rides him to orgasm and then KEEPS GOING. that he has a second orgasm so explosive that. the actual day turns into night. like the fckn sun shuts off people gather confused into the streets wondering if it’s somehow a solar eclipse like its MAYHEM. will laughs himself to Tears nico is humiliated his phone is ringing off the hook with his dad going WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO and will is Cackling like he has never been more vindicated in his life. SO MUCH FOR NO ENDURANCE HUH.

but they ignore it and will carries him over to the giant bathtub and gently and carefully washes him like he really is a prince. and nico drags him into the tub and they kiss and nico fucks him slowly, this time, he does nothing and he is so pretty and it is so so good. and he has his face in the hollow of will’s throat and he’s like i’m sorry. you know i love you, right. i don’t need all of this to be happy. to get off. i like doing you. i like it when you sit there and make pretty faces for me. i like seeing you gone on my cock. and will is kind of emotional and breathless and he goes promise and nico slides into him and his breath is hot on wills neck and he promises.

will and cecil's first time

goof ass outline here this will not be a serious fic

will and nico's first time

outline & snippet kind of here

nico using his shadow travel abilities to portal his d1ck so he fucks will's face but will feels it up his ass

yeah not much else to day. that would be the fic.

[twicedone]

Let's talk about... Pyrrha Dve

So, firstly!!! I want to make it plain here that I am RAMBLING about a character I LOVE and while I'm going to TRY to keep things about them as close to canon as I possibly can - I am dumb, and I forget things!!!!!! Secondly; SPOILERS FOR Harrow the Ninth and Nona the Ninth!!!! Thirdly; I will be making grammatical errors and you will be dealing with them!!! (sorry!) Anyways, I absolutely ADORE (full-caps and bold too!) Pyrrha Dve, I think that there's FAR more to her than our beloathed (I kid) Tamsyn has outright stated! (refer to @dammit-tazmuir 's wonderful post here for a look at the Pyrrha-berg ) and I think she'll be pretty important in Alecto the Ninth! However, this post is less about how Pyrrha IS and more about how she FEELS to me. I'm very early on in my transition journey, poking myself with a needle and crying at stuff all the time... so when I started reading Nona the Ninth and saw all the care Tamysn had put into Pyrrha I started to have the thought that maybe --just maybe-- she'd been intended to be read as a Trans character. I kept reading (and talking to a friend about the books, 'cause that was fun!) and the more I learned about her the more the conviction built in me that she was Trans; well, not LITERALLY Trans. (She had a female body at one point, one that she sacrificed long ago... and maybe that sorta disqualifies her from it but that also sounds REALLY fucked up to me??? So I think she's fine, and can rep Trans pride whenever she wants.) Anyways. She's lived the past TEN THOUSAND YEARS in a male body (sounds familiar.), having to stare at the face of her half-dead best pal whenever she intermittently had control of him! I can hardly imagine a better metaphor for dysphoria... forced to stare at someone other than yourself, someone who you care for on some level (it's you, after all.) but you know it's not REALLY you or your body. It's just your soul looking out of eyes that hardly belong to you. Her insistence on shaving her facial hair and hair-hair, even though it was only mentioned a handful of times, it really spoke to me. I hate seeing anything on my face, and I hate the mop of hair that my body makes. When she asked Pal if he could zap the follicles out of her chin, jod (lol) I felt that. There's also like, just how emotional she can be... (not really a trans-thing but more a TD (that's me) thing.) which speaks to me on a personal level 'cause of all these stupid new feelings I have to deal with. And just like, a lot of her dialogue. I don't know, maybe it's wishful thinking and the desperate need for a role model transplanting my own experiences onto a fictional character! Whatever! It's my head canon, and I'll do what I want with it! Edit; I FORGOR TO TALK ABOUT PYRRHA AND WAKE!!!!!!!!!! I can't be the only one (and I'm sure I'm not) that thinks that Pyrrha and Wake were far more intimate than Wake and G1deon, right?! It seems like all signs are pointing towards it, like Wake only included G1deon by accident because she wasn't aware of what Lyctorhood actually was! I think maybe they even loved each other, in a fucked up and supremely toxic way. Maybe Pyrrha would've actually helped her had she been in charge of G1deon's body at the time. ALSO What Trans woman isn't in love with a crazy fucked up woman? (or man, or enby, or someone outside or in between it all) I'd fall for Wake too, Pyrrha says she's got a thing for "Landmine People"? Wake is a fucking NUCLEAR BOMB!!!! I'd betray my jod to sleep with her too, WOOF!

Thanks for Reading!!! (Or skipping to the end to yell at me!) Please let me know what you think in the quotes, and I'm sorry to dammit-tazmuir if I accidentally pinged them or something, I'm still learning how to use tumblr!

ONE LAST THING!!!!! I will throw myself on a fence and haunt Tamsyn as a revenant for all eternity if Griddlehark doesn't get a payoff, you have been WARNED!!!!!!!!

[dreammfyre]

oxytocine ⊹ ࣪ ˖ frank langdon

SUMMARY. Medicine was a challenge, I wish you had chosen another career but your dream was always the same. Now you were an exceptional resident, however, as if that wasn't enough you had decided to take a post-graduate course and had to take an exam for your certification. You and Frank are friends, you used to be friends with benefits but you had to stop for the sake of both of you, you didn't want to confuse things and it was best not to confuse things.

WARNINGS. +21 (minors dni). Friends with benefits. p in v. domination. w.c: +3500

The room became a complete mess, open books on your bed, papers written by you, your notebooks, the tablet with research and a pencil or two lost among all the clutter. On the night table a glass of water half full, your birth control pills that you had to take every night, a cup of coffee and a plate with food that you had brought from the kitchen so you wouldn't stop studying. Oh, and the kitchen, another mess you hadn't had time to clean up. These dates were difficult, exam season, where you felt you didn't even have time to breathe. You studied all day, then it was your turn to leave for your shift at El Pittsburgh, you came back to keep crossing subjects off the list, you went to bed when your brain completely shut down and you weren't able to continue studying.

It was a little after eight o'clock at night, you had showered so you were walking around the apartment in your pajamas. Shit, you had to love your career too much to not have eaten anything all day, could they put more hours in the day? You felt you needed it, just a break but if you lost focus for a second you would end up falling asleep on your bed and lose valuable hours to study.

At least your friends were in the same condition as you, the stress was consuming them. You were texting with your best friend losing any kind of hope of passing the next exam, you had a theory, the professor hated you and always asked you more questions than the other students. As you were typing you heard the doorbell ring, you looked up from your phone scared, doubting if you had heard correctly or if your lack of sleep was now starting to play with your version of reality. In other words, maybe you were crazy.

But no. Seconds later the doorbell rang again all over the apartment, in your pajamas and wet hair you got up from your bed walking slowly towards the door, who the fuck could it be at this hour? You didn't expect anyone and you didn't want visitors, much less when your patience wasn't enough even for yourself. You didn't even take the time to put on your shoes, you peeked through the peephole to see who was on the other side, imagining that it was a mistake of address, however and to your surprise, you immediately recognized those blue eyes.

"Oh, come on, are you going to open up?" Frank Langdon asked losing his patience. Wasn't he capable of waiting more than two minutes? Of course not, he was too used to the immediate.

"What the fuck?" You opened the door with a frown.

"Finally." He entered your apartment, you noticed he was still wearing the black scrub from work. He was carrying a couple of paper bags and his backpack hanging from one shoulder, you didn't even reach to close the door when he had already settled in. "This place is a mess, how can you live like this?"

You closed quickly processing what was happening.

"Excuse me, what are you doing here?" you asked forgetting that you were wearing short pajamas and your hair was dripping on your cotton clothes.

"Sushi." He pointed to the bags on the table. "Your favorite."

"Thank you for your kindness… and the food, of course. Now go home."

But it was as if your words didn't carry enough weight with someone like Frank Langdon. Instead of retreating, he set his things down on the couch in the living room.

"I know you have a test to pass, I'm here to help, okay?" you folded your arms in disagreement. "Come on, I'm trying to help you. I don't want you to repeat the year."

"I don't need help." You were offended to realize that he thought you weren't going to be able to on your own. Honestly it was a stupid problem, but you were too irritable so everything made you angry.

Langdon rolled his eyes. "Really? Because this place is a mess, how can you live like this?" you walked towards the exit to open the door for him and invite him to leave. "You know I gave that test too?" you stopped dead in your tracks, listening to him. "You might remember some questions."

You couldn't see his face, but you could bet your life he was smiling superiorly, a typical gesture when he knows he'd won. You sighed, exhaling you dropped your shoulders in an attempt to come to terms with defeat.

Eleven o'clock at night, almost midnight. Now you were sharing your bed with Frank who settled at your feet keeping a prudent distance between you, he was holding a book he had highlighted with the most important things to ask you questions. To your surprise his help was being effective, every time you made a mistake he was there to correct you, not from his ego, he wanted you to understand the theory so you wouldn't forget it. It was a relief not to have to use the internet for the slightest doubt because Langdon seemed to know everything related to emergencies, pathologies, exams, medications and interactions. Wow, it was having a professor at your disposal.

A professor who couldn't take his eyes off you.

"Normal CK ranges?" he asked out of the blue to catch you distracted.

Shit, I had taken you by surprise. Your brain was saturated with information, you could hardly even remember what you chatted about five minutes ago.

"30/200 units per liter of blood in men... right?" you answered unsure of what you had said. You closed your eyes tightly searching your mind for the information like a box with files, too bad those files looked like a garbage can lying on the floor without any sort of order. "On women... damn, I have no idea." You plopped down on the bed, giving up in frustration.

"29/168 units per liter of blood." Frank completed.

"How do you manage to know all that by heart?" You looked at him curiously, you were envious that he knew so much and you looked like a first year medical student when you had been at this for over four years. "I feel like… just like a stupid."

He settled back leaning on his biceps, hours ago he had finished his shift and instead of going to rest at his own place he had no better idea than to detour all the way to your apartment. He urgently needed a shower and sleep. He wasn't fussy, the couch in the living room seemed comfortable enough after ten hours of work.

"You answered about forty questions correctly and for one you got wrong you're about to give up." Langdon stretched out on your sheets, bumping into one of your anatomy books he hadn't seen. "Ouch."

"Come on, Langdon, you're much more experienced than I am. You'd never fail a question.”

"Look, you're not a genius-"

"Thanks for that." You threw a pillow straight at his face.

"But you have everything to be an excellent doctor, I've seen it every day since I've known you. You're gentle with your patients, you have a human touch that I've always liked about you. You care about so much more than exact numbers, and medicine is so much more than that." He used that same pillow you threw at him to settle his head. "I mean it. Don't let yourself be tormented by your own thinking."

You stayed a few seconds staring at the ceiling with one hand on your belly. Between books and papers you felt that you had not made any progress, but the reality was that you had, you were so tired that you were demanding too much just to meet your expectations. You hadn't rested well because you felt guilty about sleeping instead of reading, if it wasn't for Frank bringing food you would have perfectly forgotten to eat dinner, your apartment was a reflection of your life at the moment. Yes, it was an important exam you had to pass, and it was consuming you.

"I need a break." You said finally.

"Oh, me too." Langdon confessed with his eyes closed. "Today was exhausting. A fucking chaos."

"It's always a fucking chaos." You laughed half-heartedly.

"Okay." He got out of bed with a jolt getting dizzy from standing up so fast. "You need to get at least six hours of sleep." He glanced at the clock on your nightstand, grimaced realizing you weren't going to get that much rest. "Or five is also enough."

You nodded dejectedly, took a deep breath as you slowly sat up in bed leaning back on your knees exposing your thighs. Your round breasts stood out through the cotton fabric of that shirt, the truth is that that was the first thing Frank saw and a point of attention that he never failed to appreciate since his arrival. Your slightly tousled hair fell behind your shoulders, Langdon stopped dead in his tracks swallowing saliva as he watched you in that position knowing what you were suggesting.

Realistically, you'd been thinking about kissing him ever since he walked through your door.

His heart began to beat faster, he could see your legs spread wide on the bed imagining he could be between them.

"You could stay a little longer, don't you think?" you asked licking your bottom lip. Shit, you were so stressed out that a little sex wouldn't hurt, and Frank is someone who was good at giving you pleasure.

Langdon didn't hesitate for a fucking second his answer forgetting how tired he was from work. "Oh, sure I can, honey." He walked to your bed grabbing your face with both hands sticking to your lips desperately, just feeling him against your mouth you didn't manage to hold in a sigh that only made him grab you by the waist.

The two of you were kneeling on the mattress, you ran your hands along his neck pulling Frank closer to you smelling his characteristic aroma, as if his mouth devouring you was not enough to satiate you. His saliva quickly soaked into your lips missing his taste, the intensity in his movements, he grabbed your hair sinking his long fingers into your hair pulling it. You pushed him onto the bed climbing on top of him, right on his abdomen, you didn't want to feel him so soon because you wanted to enjoy it all.

Fuck. You had missed him madly, everything felt so familiar, his smell, his somewhat jerky and desperate movements. It felt fucking good.

He grabbed your thighs on either side of his body, squeezing hard feeling you on top of him. You began to leave kisses down his scarred jaw following down his neck, your hands resting on his torso until his clothes began to become a nuisance. You moved up to his ear, biting gently at the lobe then running your wet tongue along that spot knowing it was one of his greatest weaknesses. You felt her body tense under your legs, a deep sigh came from her throat bringing her large hands up to your ass squeezing you carelessly being gentle with you.

"I miss you." You whispered against his ear before kissing Langdon’s neck again. "I miss having you every day."

Frank closed his eyes feeling your words take immediate effect on his crotch, it felt harder and harder against his underwear. You looked majestic on him, that's how he wanted to have you always, since the first time things became distorted between you he couldn't see you with the same eyes, he heard your moans every fucking night, he couldn't be at ease not knowing if you were with another man or if you desired him in the same way.

He deeply regretted asking for a pause between you.

"You don't know how much I need you." He replied in a desperate gasp. His hands went up your legs to your breasts, he removed your top leaving you naked before his lustful gaze, you couldn't describe all that his now dark eyes communicated conveying everything you wanted to know at that moment. You felt a squeeze on your tits, he grabbed you by the waist to sit down below you, now you did get to brush his hard cock on your wet crotch. "Shit, I think I broke a pencil."

"Surely wasn't mine." You replied pulling his top off in a hurry. Your breathing was heavy and feeling his hot torso against your breasts didn't help you calm down.

Drowning in his own lust, Frank took one of your tits into his mouth without a second thought running his tongue in circles as you pressed your legs against him. You threw your head back as a shiver ran down your back, similar to a bolt of lightning, the intense tingling emerging between your legs growing stronger and more sensitive. You stood there watching him devour your breasts which grew hard at his playfulness, each time he caught your nipples between his teeth you clenched your jaw to keep from letting out a moan. You could take it, with Langdon for some reason your boundaries were blurring.

Gently your hand positioned itself between you reaching the elastic of his black pants, you entered feeling the warmth of the area. Your fingers touched over the fabric still managing to feel how hard it was.

"Oh shit." He growled through his teeth sighing heavily at your soft touch and slowly touching his size and thickness. "I can't take it anymore. You're driving me crazy." He moaned from underneath. You wiped his mouth with your finger his own saliva, swiping over his swollen lips then taking that same finger into your mouth.

"This is what you came for, isn't it?" you asked raising an eyebrow, licking his neck squirming under your calculated caresses. "You don't give a shit about my exam."

A low chuckle came from his throat. Suddenly, he grabbed your waist leaving you under him with Frank's body covering you. A gasp of surprise came out of your mouth as your bare back impacted the mattress accompanied by a few giggles, Frank soon positioned himself between your legs.

"Okay. That’s offend me." He said sliding your clothes to your feet. You let yourself undress, you'd rather he did it. "You think I don't care about you?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you suggested it." He cocked his head to one side with an exaggerated expression.

"You want to keep discussing this are you going to fuck me once and for all?"

Langdon couldn't say no to you, his domineering personality decaying at your command. He reached into your drawer for the box of condoms he had bought himself, he agreed to leave it at your place with the only condition that you were only going to use them when you were with him. You swallowed and remained silent as he pulled down his underwear and dropped them on the floor, putting on the condom before settling back down between your legs. You looked him straight in the eyes as he settled his length between your legs your entrance, a heavy sigh escaped you as you felt the tip slide in, he moved the tip across your lips just to make you suffer for a few more seconds. You spread your legs wider bending one of your knees to make it easier, Frank let out a grunt as he pushed in slowly.

You inhaled deeply letting out a choked moan as you felt his penis open up your walls. He remained static for a few seconds, you were still tight and it was hard to go all the way in as you both liked. He cupped one of your cheeks with his hand straining with his other arm to keep from falling on top of you, your faces so close your breaths mingled.

"You have no idea how good you feel." He gasped before he began to ram into you.

Your moans filled the room, so Langdon covered your mouth with his hand. "Don't you remember what happened last time? You don't want your neighbors to hear you scream, do you?" The loose strands of his brown hair brushed against your forehead.

You closed your eyes holding back the words, you were still used to having him inside you and when he finally entered you arched your back. Frank leaned on his knees clinging to your hips to move better, reaching to hit his pelvis against yours, you grabbed one of your tits squeezing it while biting your lips leaving him with a privileged view of your pleasure in the front row. The lust in your eyes you only asked for more, harder and faster, it wasn't the first time you fucked, not the second or third, he knew what you liked and how to do it.

Frank's hands clung to your thighs burying his fingers in your skin not caring that it would surely leave a mark on you later, but nothing was as important as the collision between your bodies in the middle of the room. A couple of books had fallen to the floor, try as you might your high pitched moans were getting louder and at this point you didn't much care if any complaints came in, it was worth it.

"Do you want to come up?" he paused to move closer to your face closing the distance with a short kiss on your lips. You played along for a few seconds deepening the kiss, opening your mouth to let his tongue in. Any kind of romance and delicacy ended up disappearing between you becoming everything more wild and carnal where the need to feel was infinite. Frank grabbed your cheek. "Come up." The question became a command.

He pulled out of you to settle on top of him, you mounted him inserting his member into your folds again sliding in more easily than the first time, your own wetness was enough although the condom also helped. You pulled your head back exposing your breasts, it didn't matter if it was up or down, Frank was always going to have the foreground of your naked body all to himself. He didn't want to share you with anyone.

You moved over him making the movement with your hips, you intertwined one of your hands with Langdon's the other went straight to your ass leaving spanks that only turned you on more. You increased the rhythm every second feeling how your walls tightened before the length of his member faster and faster at the same time that in your belly a wave of pleasure was forming about to explode. Frank is feeling it too you could tell it in his sounds and in the desperate way he was touching you, his moans mixed with yours as he ordered you to speed up your rhythm without being enough, you felt your cheeks red and your skin sweating, your heart started beating faster and faster and you felt you were losing your mind.

"Oh shit, shit." You repeated leaning on his chest so you wouldn't lose your balance.

Your heart was beating so hard you could hear it in your ears along with the moans of Frank who was also about to orgasm. It was getting closer and closer, you felt it more and more inside you and your legs wanted to give in to the pleasure, you forgot all your worries just like him who was only concentrating on the sensation under his belly invading his body. You closed your eyes tightly intertwining your hands with his making a last effort, the clash between your skins echoed at the same time that your moans became small screams of pleasure.

"I'm close..." that was the signal they used for Frank to end up outside of you, they didn't want pregnancy risks and they both knew that contraceptives can fail. "Honey... I I-can't… damn it… anymore."

"It doesn't matter." You said barely barely able to even look him in the eye, your cheeks red and skin sweating. "I-it doesn't matter. Just... just do it."

You felt Frank cum under you, a distinct moan came from his mouth and a special warmth inside you made you give in the same way a few seconds later. Your orgasm was incredible, you needed him, you needed to stop thinking about all your problems for a second, you needed him inside you until you exploded from pleasure and no one could make you moan his name like Frank Langdon. You let out a scream so loud that he covered your mouth knowing you were going to get in trouble with your stupid neighbors, you moaned against his fingers then took them into your mouth and licked them. Your breathing was still ragged and your heart pounding against your chest, you leaned against Langdon's chest who was still coming back to himself.

You went down to his mouth to leave a wet and noisy kiss, something that was complicated because you were still panting. He was still inside you, your walls still squeezing him down sending shivers of pleasure throughout his body.

"That was amazing." You whispered against his lips caressing his cheek.

"You're fucking amazing." He answered you in that same lustful tone.

You climbed off his body feeling a void between your legs to lie down next to him. You were a little calmer, your heart was starting to resume its normal rhythm and your breathing was becoming less desperate although your head was still in the clouds. You threw one of the books that was bothering you on the floor, next to you, Langdon took off his used condom tying it in a knot to avoid spilling his fluids.

"Do you want to take a shower?" you asked.

"Will you join me?" he returned the question by going back to lie down with you. He turned to you gazing at your tousled face, pink cheeks and sweaty skin glowing in the lights of the room. "I love hearing you ask for more." Frank licked his lips.

"I thought you were coming to help me study." You replied with a wry smile.

"Will you continue with that theme?"

"It's a joke." You laughed because he didn't find it funny at all. "You don't know how good you make me feel." You caressed Langdon’s bare chest running your fingers making random patterns over his skin.

"I like to hear that." He settled back looking directly at you.

"I'm going to have to take another shower. See what you provoke?" you got out of bed. "I have to get up in a couple of hours."

Frank shrugged. "It was worth it."

[physalian]

I keep getting news notifications about the new Pope and his brother and once again, it’s absolutely insane how casually and thoroughly we can cyberstalk someone through their internet history.

Regardless of who someone is or how famous they are, there really should be a statute of limitations on shit you can dig up on them. People don’t tweet thinking “one day I’m going to be famous and will regret this” no, they’re talking out loud in the moment.

They might 100% mean what they say, and what they say could be absolutely awful, not defending that. Or they might not. People can change, and people can forget all about some horrible thing they said in a fit of rage or frustration. Or political thing. Or stupid thing.

For anyone who says something out of context, or when they were drunk, or when they were just upset, or when they were just ignorant, to have all that sitting there like a landmine waiting for the internet to go “hey remember when you did this? No? Well here’s the evidence. Let’s psychoanalyze you based on a 60 character tweet from 10 years ago.”

I was absolutely horrified by how eagerly the internet went nuts on Luigi Mangione—who is still innocent until proven otherwise—and if he’s not the guy, his life has been exposed at every level because he happens to have and use social media.

Or things they didn’t say at all and were lumped into via someone else’s post. Can’t imagine what life could be like for the adults who were their parent’s Instagram baby.

As somebody who grew up and later lived with people who never let me live my mistakes (and just general choices) down, and would always bring it up whenever they felt like bullying me, it keeps me up at night sometimes wondering if I’ll randomly be famous and have something I’ve said and since forgotten about now define my whole public perception. Because those people were just digging up memories, randos on the internet with too much time will have hard evidence.

It doesn’t take much��the hawk tuah girl certainly didn’t think her life would change overnight after one joke.

So can we maybe just chill a little bit and give whoever it is the chance to show us who they are *now* instead of telling them who they’re supposed to be, based on who they were captured in incidental social media snapshots?

And if they are that same person, go ham, but good lord.

[r0b0tb0y]

Translations of the Aurebesh bits written by @blxcksqvadron:

biometrics unknown: height unknown

syril karn’s super secret spy files please do not open this mother

species: urodel

021 kallus alexsandr

kx-series security droid

niamos

senator leia organa 155cm

Process writeup:

blxcksqvadron overhauled the graphic assets to make my scrawly surveillance sketches look diegetic!

The dialogue fonts were workshopped at length before we concluded for Dedra:

After lots of practice with my acrylic brush, I wanted to try watercolours on the Imperials to look natural but also washed-out.

Kyle Soller's eyes really are strange to draw (and to look at), but the distinctive nose/chin do most of the character work.

Dedra is a JOY to draw. The snarl, the hawk nose, the diamond eyes, the hair, the moles. I had to keep making her look less evil in the early pages so the final one really hits.

I actually like drawing and shading hands??? rip other artists

The prodding finger was sketched by blxcksqvadron with reference to his own hand—so in the first draft that hand looks really smooth and soft (ode to my beloved wife's tender hands) whereas the finger tapping on Luthen was sketched from my left hand. So it came out completely different because I have the gnarled talons of those feratu

New to Nintendo Switch: Diego Luna photo gallery

The last thing I drew was Cassian on his own: found the beautiful pose in the Imperial uniform, slimmed down to make him more petite and lots of windswept hair (viper droids, always taking pics)

Cassian's kinda flirty with almost everyone, but that feels appropriate because he's probably slept with all of them (I agree Ahsoka's got lesbian vibes, but Cassian dykes up nicely.)

I loved experimenting with the super dynamic action pose for the fulcrum4fulcrum shot (blxcksqvadron added the Fulcrum logo too!). Ahsoka is absurdly large here, but let's say it's her Rebels noodlebody.

Yes, the joke about montrals is because they controversially shortened them for live-action Ahsoka. I don't actually mind the short montrals, but it was perfect for a joke about guesstimating heights.

Luthen was my first try at the trick of flipping a character backwards using their silhouette—great drawing exercise!

I really made myself laugh giving Dedra a ships-in-the-night moment with Axis, especially when the show did it repeatedly to Syril and Cassian.

I will shoehorn Kalluzeb into everything I swear to chobb. Kallus in a gay tank top, muscles gleaming, thriving post-ISB. I said in the groupchat he used to steal Dedra's lunch from the work fridge.

Uh-oh, Zeb's noticed the surveillance! Can't trick those keen kitty senses.

Dedra not knowing what a vibe is made me laugh out loud when I came up with it.

Syril Karn droidcaptain truther. the only moment I've ever liked him. He WOULD look at a mean robot and go 'I get why you'd fuck that'

Melshi is probably the most obvious case where I deliberately made Cassian dramatically smaller.

SUCH careful framing of the Leia picture. Carrie Fisher's face is one where two pixels make the difference between a perfect likeness and some random woman

Tricky angles on that final shot! Leia climbing a step (stairs droid?) with the knee foreshortened, Cassian straddling whorishly on a turbine (I really enjoy drawing turbines?), croppable to look like they were standing/walking... then I had the marvellous idea to add Kay boosting Cassian and half a ship on one shoulder.

Finally our punchline!! blxcksqvadron added the glowing white eyes, which were even more evil than the red I started with. I often forget to use the popped vein for my stressed characters, and Syril's dot-eyes are a device I love in other comics. Always love drawing blood (haha)

I could write a whole essay on how Diego Luna adapts his physicality to different scene partners but a comic was funnier. But seriously:

The way he stoops so he can get his eyeline lower than Serkis, who's significantly shorter than him, must be twisting his spine in knots for Cassian to look up to Kino instead of down.

small boulder the size of a large boulder - robotboy + blxkcksqvadron

[al8estos]

[pokimoko]

I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.

[stemmmm]

Close to a year and four rewrites later, I present to you...

Stem's Thoughts on the Game Design of Harvest Moon on SNES

I’m not going to lie, if you don’t like farming sims, you won’t like this one. At their core, every farming sim (at least in the rpg genre) is nearly identical, and that’s because of this game. In a way, I might dare to say that Harvest Moon for the SNES is the perfect farming sim because it has every one of the usual elements in their most simplified form and it just works straight from the get-go. It works so well in fact, that after this game came out in 1996, four more entries to the series were released before the year 2000.

If you are someone who does like farming sims, I can’t recommend this game enough. It’s simple and to the point, with a fast pace and enough random events and points of intrigue that the game kept me relatively engaged for my whole playthrough.

Also, by nature of this being the first game and therefore hard to cover concisely and by nature of taking so long to write this... it's long as hell! Enjoy! :) <3

I can’t say my appreciation of this game doesn’t come with a few caveats. I’ve intermittently played HM games all my life, starting with the GameBoy port (GB1) all the way to Pioneers of Olive Town, so while I don’t know exactly how the series has evolved, I’ve seen it at some of its earliest and at its latest. My vague childhood memories of GB1 (a game I didn’t own and didn’t play much of) were that it was pretty sparse and bland, so knowing that this original game was allegedly the same thing but with a little more content, I was expecting the bare minimum. I was prepared to never even be able to leave my farm, but the first thing the game did was shuttle me off to the nearby town and blocked the exit until I talked to everyone there. 

(Maps of the town, mountain, and farm via The Spriters Resource)

You learn everything you need to know about the game right here at the beginning; Firstly, that this town is small as all hell and has hardly anyone in it aside from the five girls you can marry and their immediate family members. The next thing you’ll learn is that there’s a fence on your farm, and you need to be taking care of that. Of the few repetitive lines of dialogue any given person in town has to share with you on any given day, a fair amount are devoted to reminding you to fix your fence, to make sure it’s in good repair. There was just a big storm so watch out! Remember to check it every day! Are you chopping enough wood? Because you’ll need it for that fence!

I’m being dramatic of course, you aren’t reminded about it that much, though the thin variation of dialogue means it comes up a lot. The emphasis on your fence does exist, and it isn’t for nothing: while it doesn’t matter as much if all you do is grow crops– if you keep animals, the game tells you that the ideal thing to do for yours and the animal’s happiness is to put the animals outside to graze. Animal feed bought from the livestock shop will keep them fed, but it's nothing compared to fresh grass grown on your farm. You can’t even buy animals without a certain amount of grass planted! And sure, you can cut the grass to store for later, but it’s at its best straight out of the ground. However, the way the game is programmed, the animals only eat when the day rolls over, so putting animals outside for the day and taking them in at night isn’t an option, and on top of that, there’s things that come out at night that can hurt your animals. This is where your fence comes in.

The Utility of Fences

At the entrance to your farm is a cluster of buildings: your house, a small lumber shed, a barn, coop, and silo, a tool shed, and an old, dried up well. Just barely surrounding all of these is a little wooden fence that looks more like a row of upright logs than anything else. Despite this farm having presumably been abandoned, the fence is in perfect repair. You’ll quickly discover that the fence as it is won’t work out; there’s hardly space to plant anything within it, and with the well dried up, you’re forced to hop it to get to a water source to fill up your watering can. It’s pretty clear that you’ll need to expand your fence, and it’s easy to do with all of the tree stumps littering the massive field that it’s blocking off. 

On top of needing to expand the range of your fence, the individual planks eventually will rot away and leave useless stumps. They show up more frequently after rain or a large storm. The posts don’t rot away completely so they have to be manually removed, but replacing them is as simple as smashing the old post with a hammer or ax and popping a new post in its place. It becomes a very natural part of your daily routine to run a lap around the farm’s perimeter before you go to bed to make sure everything looks safe and secure. It’s a good way to ensure your animals are put away and debris is cleared out, too! It slotted very nicely into my daily schedule until a certain point.

With how much time you have to spend hopping over the logs to get to the rest of the area too large to fence in, you might be tempted to leave one out of place for easier traversal. When night comes, it’s clear why that would be a mistake. Sometimes when you go to bed, you’ll hear your dog barking. It’s a small detail, one that took me a long time to notice because I didn’t always play with the sound on. There are wild dogs that prowl around the wilderness surrounding your farm, and only at night do they dare to come close. Your dog, if left outside, isn't able to do anything other than warn you of their presence if they show up. There’s nothing to notice during the daytime if it happens, unless you happened to leave one of your animals outside. There was one night that I left my chickens outside, having thought my fence was in perfect order and repair. I went to bed and heard the dog barking, followed by a horrible crunch. When I went out in the morning, I saw where my chicken had been before, it had been replaced by a pile of feathers. On the north side of my farm was a rotted fence post I’d failed to fix. 

The Reality of Fences

After losing my chicken, a cluster of pixels on my screen it may have been, I didn’t feel comfortable leaving my animals outside. I didn’t want to take a risk again, the sound and sight of feathers was upsetting enough. On a more logical note, the chickens didn’t even lay eggs if left outside so there was no value in it. Cows were a pain to put back inside the barn too, because of some silliness with the game’s collision. As much of a disappointment as it was to not have my animals roam around, it was just easier. At the time, I was focusing on upgrading my house anyways, so I didn’t have time to take care of my animals outside where time would pass when I could use that time gathering wood, and everything I had was being saved up for the house so I didn’t have any extra materials to repair my fence with. My fence was all rotting away. Because it was inconvenient for getting to my crops, I started smashing all the old posts as they went, too. That’s when I noticed something: the wild dog wasn’t coming anymore.

I didn’t pay much attention to it until I was looking up a completely different mechanic and discovered a forum explaining how the fences were broken. Rotted posts attracted the wild dog, they said. It didn’t matter if you had gaps in your fence, or even a fence at all–in fact no fence was the best kind to have because the mere existence of posts that could rot was a liability. 

I was hesitant at first to test this concept, after all there wasn’t much I could gain from it. My chickens wouldn’t lay outside, and my cows would be too challenging to get back in if the forecast called for rain. The thing that got me to finally try it was when I was trying to hatch more chickens. My coop felt like a nightmare to navigate due to its current population. I wanted less animals inside that I had to feed, so I threw a couple chicks outside–they weren’t laying yet anyways. Lo and behold, the dog didn’t come. More days passed and more animals were left outside, and it never came. My fence had rotted until there was nothing left at all. No dogs could ever come to my farm again. And I realized that the game’s own insistence on its mechanics was all a lie.

How You’re Told To Play - How The Game Lies

Of course, my animals didn’t stay outside. For a minute it was fun having a crowd of cows milling about while I tended to my crops, but letting them wander free and uninhibited made it impossible to find and milk all of them without any trouble, and there were the rainy days to watch out for. After the novelty wore off, they went back inside and stayed there. The thing is, that didn’t make a single bit of difference in how much they liked me compared to how they were living in the barn. On top of that, they didn’t seem to care whether I was feeding them grass or store-bought food either, though I mostly stuck to the grasses since they were cheaper and easier to get. Nothing about how I was told to care for animals really mattered past feeding them every day, petting it and maybe brushing it, if it was a cow.

It gets worse. The most basic aspect of the game is the fact that time passes. The story takes place over 2 and a half years, running through each day until the end, and these days last from 6AM to 6PM according to the game’s own internal time setting. After 6PM, all of the shops aside from the bar will close and you lose the ability to sell anything as you’re told it would rot in the shipping bin overnight, so there’s nothing to do but sleep until the next day. Issue with this is that when the days stop at 6PM… they just stop. Time doesn’t flow anymore. The game doesn’t give you any kind of clock to know the exact time it is until after you’ve upgraded your house, so all you have to go by before that is the color of the environment and whether or not your character has played an animation to eat something (you’re automatically fed when you wake up, at noon, and at night). I discovered this because I was curious if I could actually see the wild dog by staying out, and left the game running for probably 20 minutes in real life only for nothing to happen. Because of the time freeze, the time after 6PM actually becomes really valuable for farm logistics. You can’t sell anything, no, but you can pull up all the weeds on the farm, water your crops, fix your fences, feed and care for animals if you hadn’t already, and harvest wood for fences and house upgrades which would have taken a lot of valuable time to get during shipping-hours. The only thing that gets in the way of doing all that is you running out of energy.

Your energy is what allows you to use your farming equipment like your ax or watering can. Running out of it doesn’t mean you fall unconscious or anything, but your character will play an animation of them stumbling over and will fail to use any tools. The most obvious fix to this is to simply go to bed, as sleeping gives you a full recharge. You can also, however, recharge it by going to the hot spring on the mountain, or by eating food bought at the restaurant in town or foraged for in the forest. You can’t tell easily how much is refilled, as there’s no visual indicator like a health bar, but you’re able to eat more than once, and jumping into the hot spring seems to count whether you did it or not more than how much time you spend in there, so you can hop in and out a couple of times and call it good. 

Individually, time freezing at 6PM and energy being endlessly replenishable aren’t bad things. Even together, they’re not the worst. Having free time to focus on profitless chores is nice, and I think it’s important to be able to replenish your energy in case you have a limited amount of time to do things like for example, cut all of your grass before winter kills it. What makes an exploit out of these is the fact that the resources in the forest will never run out. Every time you re-enter the forest, all forage items and tree stumps are respawned. The infinite amount of forage makes for infinite energy refills, and could also make for an incredible money exploit if you didn’t have a very limited amount of time to ship things. You don’t have a limited amount of time to cut up tree stumps though. If you wanted to, you could run up to the forest after 6PM, chop every stump, then simply reload the area, and everything’s back. You can get all of the wood you would ever need to fully upgrade your house in one night. It’s a bit of a grind to do all at once, but it’s a grind you’d be doing over time anyways. It’s not the worst exploit in the world, since you still need money to pay for the house upgrade, but arguably because of how you have to focus your energy elsewhere for most of the game, the wood is the harder thing to get. Additionally, when the game has very little to do in both fall and winter due to the lack of crops, this exploit takes away just about any reason to play those two seasons other than to take care of animals. It’s an optional exploit of course–as all exploits are–but once you learn about it, it’s hard to resist the desire to get the grind out of the way all at once and mess up the pacing of the game.

The Charm of the Game

Learning that the fences were completely broken as a mechanic was a huge disappointment for me. From the moment I got a grasp on how the game was supposed to work, I wanted to eventually surround my whole field with fencing and keep my animals outside so I would have some life on my farm while I worked. I didn’t just want this, I was excited for it! This was something I’d never done in a farming sim that didn’t already manage putting animals in and out for you like Stardew Valley or newer Story of Seasons games do. My routine is always the same: I go into the barn and coop to tend to each of my animals, I take care of my crops outside, then run straight to town to talk to everyone, and go to bed. The change in routine that would come from taking care of the animals outside and patrolling the fence every night felt fresh to me. It made me feel that even though this was the first game of its kind, it was different and required new things of me. But in the end, I played it exactly the same.

Harvest Moon is still very different from all of the games that followed it, though. In many ways, it’s because it has less “stuff” in it– both in terms of items and things you have to do. But I wouldn’t say that it feels incomplete. Harvest Moon runs over the course of 2 and a half years before your work is evaluated. Until that happens, you have the ability to farm four different crops, you can raise both cows and chickens, you can upgrade your house to have more features, upgrade your working tools, build relationships with the townspeople to a small extent, go to town festivals that happen each year, and you can get married to one of the five girls living in town with whom you can have up to two children. Everything that you would come to expect as a fan of games like this is already here from the very first iteration. The most notable lack this game has, and one that seems to be completely unique to this game, is that there aren’t any crops in the fall or winter, which means that unless you have animals, there’s a whole half of the year that you don’t have anything to do. The game is clearly aware of this though, because in an average playthrough, this is where you’ll start to run into the story events.

There isn’t much of an overarching story in the game, past the general concept that you’ve run away from home to work on an abandoned farm. The conclusion rests on how good of a job you actually do. In between those two points are smaller events, usually tied to when you get tool upgrades or special ones for each of the romantic interests. The first event you’re likely to run into happens on the very last day of summer, where one of the woodsmen comes to your house in the morning to ask if you’re okay because he heard a huge crash at night and you should check your farm. What I found was that a tree in my field had fallen over, and its remaining stump had a big empty hole in it. When I inspected the stump, I was suddenly underground in a cave filled with loud and industrious music, and I was faced with two, little green people–Harvest Sprites, though I don’t know if they’re called that yet here. One asked me if my scythe worked well, and when I said yes, told me that they had made it and that I should check my shed tomorrow for a better one. Other tool upgrades are obtained in similar fashion; one comes from feeding a starving sprite a mushroom and another comes from another hole in the farm opening up to reveal another part of the cave system that has a couple of hints on how to unlock other things. 

The events for romantic interests happen at less scripted times, as they’re tied to how strong your relationship is with each girl. Each girl only has one event, and it only triggers when your relationship is high enough that you would ask her to marry you. The events usually take up a whole day, and don’t necessarily add much to each character. Ellen’s revolves around how she’s no good at keeping pets– something established on your second day at the farm when you get your dog from her, Eve’s hammers in her fraught relationship with her grandpa, and Ann’s is about losing the chicken weathervane, or “weathercock” which sits on the roof of her workshop and goes missing every time there’s a storm. Conversely, Nina and Maria’s scenes bring up entirely new events that bring up a number of questions while providing no answers. Nina disappears while looking for a medicinal plant because her mother is apparently sick, and Maria vanishes for days until you find her hiding away with the woodsmen for some reason. All of these events, whether they share new information or not, manage to add some greatly appreciated depth to each character by giving them more room to speak and be sincere than their short and repetitive day-to-day dialogues do.

The dialogue in this game is simple, to the point, and sparse– probably because there was only so much memory that could be reserved for approximately 15 people who all have multiple lines of dialogue, and only so much money to pay someone to write more. There is simple dialogue that doesn’t tell you much more than “hello, how are you” would, more dialogue that I’d label as tutorial text, and a few lines that I truthfully couldn’t understand well because of the sub-par translation this game received for english. The dialogue that exists to inform the world really manages to create a unique vibe though. Nina’s dialogue, almost always about plants, goes into forays about how they’re creatures with wills to live, too. Ellen’s uncle who runs the ranch shop tells you that it’s much better to feed your animals fresh grass if you try to buy any from his store, and if you decline to purchase he laughs as if he’s won something. There’s even dialogue referencing the silent player! Multiple lines exist to comment on him not paying attention, and inspection prompts have people telling you not to touch something rather than being an item description. It was the last thing I expected, to get the same level of personality out of the main character as I did from each of the girls, albeit very subtly. He went from a kind of nothing, self-insert into being what I perceive to be a hyperactive boy, akin to a border collie who was let out into a field of sheep for the first time–the exact kind of person crazy enough to take on an abandoned farm and succeed.

It’s these short little character details that bring life into the game. Each day, you’ll really only see one line of dialogue from each character, be it new or old, with that dialogue usually only changing if there’s a change in season or festival coming up. The repetitive, pretty mindless routine of the game can turn into a sort of meditation if you let it, where you spend your time working thinking about the folks in town and what they had to say to you the previous day. The developers took this concept in stride and gave the side characters loads of dialogue about life, about God and religion, and about… very basic morals, but morals nonetheless. It’s a children’s game after all. When you take the thoughts, questions and prompts the characters give you back to the farm to do your long and tedious routine, you have to ask yourself– what are you working so hard for? For the feeling of accomplishment? Recognition from your peers? For the sake of some higher power, if you worship one? For me personally, it was to write this essay, but it was also for a good grade on the high score screen at the end, so to be honest a lot of this stuff was lost on me until just now when I was reviewing the game to get screenshots.

Setting The Standard - Why You Should Play HM SNES

You may read all of this and still think, well, it doesn’t sound like the game has much in it. And you would be right, it’s a very small game, but it’s also extremely quick. On average, my days only lasted about three minutes of real life time. Everything flew by, and I think I finished the game in 20 hours or less. I barely got a chance to notice that there wasn’t much going on because every second of my day was spent busy doing something, and when I wasn’t busy, the break was appreciated. I didn’t start to run out of things to do until I was finished with the second year, and when I looked up what I needed to do to get a decent ending, I was already most of the way there. It was easy to push through those last two seasons to get to the end, and it was so, so worth it. 

As I mentioned earlier, the game ends with a high score screen, meaning it has to track all of your accomplishments. These include, but are not limited to: the number of things you ship, number of each crop you grow, number of animals you have and how much they like you, how upgraded your house is, who you married, how much all of the girls in town like you if you didn't get married, how many kids you have (which basically equates to how long you were married), your happiness score (increased by going to festivals and decreased by having animals die), and how many times you’ve pet your dog. In addition to these being tallied up and presented to you, you get special cutscenes not just for each one of these accomplishments, but additional ones for if you managed to do even better! I got a cutscene for having a cow, followed by one for having lots of cows, followed by yet another for having cows that loved me! Watching them play one after the other felt like taking a victory lap even without getting the best possible result. Seeing all of my numbers come up at the end made me want to try again to actually get those other cutscenes, not to get to see them, they’re so easy to find on Youtube, but because the game made it feel like an accomplishment! If I weren’t following this game up by immediately playing its GameBoy port, I absolutely would have started a new file right away. I’ve been playing the Harvest Moon series since I was a little kid and this was the first time I’d actually managed to beat one of these games. I struggle to think the finale of any game following this will feel as good as this one did.

I started writing this whole thing about the fences because it was an easy and silly entry point to get into my core issue with the game, and so I could have an opportunity to dig into game mechanics and the way the knowledge you have of them will completely alter your playstyle, because that’s all fun and interesting for me to talk about. Another reason why I focused on that was because it was near impossible for me to pick any kind of focus point when talking about this game. After all, I’m trying to study a whole series of games that spans multiple decades, and this is not only the first game in that series, but a game that created the whole genre of farming sims and defined that genre so thoroughly that you can see its DNA in every single game that followed.

 I didn’t expect much to come out of my experience with this game. My expectations for it before I even picked it up were that it was going to be basically featureless, as informed by my experience with one of the first games I ever played as a child, Harvest Moon GB, which I will get into next. This game was not that at all. I think that everything it did manage to get working right came together just about perfectly. Harvest Moon is exactly what it wanted to be, and where it wasn’t, it lied about how it worked to try and make you play the correct way anyways. When I believed that lie, my time playing was even more enjoyable. Maybe if farming worked just a little bit more like how you’re told it’s supposed to, and if there was just a little bit more story, those would cover the things I felt wanting for the most. But maybe a little flexibility and ambiguity is a good thing. Maybe actually maintaining a fence is just too hard, and maybe if the girls were more fleshed out, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy filling in their gaps in my head.

There are many more things I could say and wanted to say about this game, but this has grown far too long already so I'm cutting myself off here. I'm sure my later entries aren't going to get near this length. If you managed to get to this point, thank you so much for reading!

[revenantghost]

Tfw you have a week so insane that you have NO idea what day it is. You've left time and space entirely. Liminal week.