#I know I said I was gonna post this yesterday but I was too lazy to type everything out here after already doing it on Discord | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moochalove · 9 months

Text

Last Nights Mistakes and New Beginnings (Part 4-5)(Final)

(yandere!kazuha x pregnant!reader x scaramouche)

Did you know they call me the yappinator? Anyways i’ve been meaning to finish it but i’ve been busy w school but now i have the time so i will be yapping away more (posting a little more)🗣️ Get cozy bcs this is long asf!

Reader is bi-icon! (+ trauma) If imma be fr, the beginning is a little off bcs i wrote it weeks ago (im lazy and i will not fix it🥶) ANYWAYS ILL STOP YAPPING! TY FOR READING 🤭 (if u do😡)

word count: Pretty fucking long ❤️

proofread: HELL NO! 😋 fill in the gaps/mistakes for me pls🫶

TW: Stockholm syndrome

Arriving at the mall you think about making a break for it but these heels prevent you from doing so. With enough for the heel would surely snap though… Noted. Reaching for the door handle you’re stopped and pulled into a kiss. It’s a little uncomfortable but you play it off with a smile, “Don’t worry Kazu, I’m not gonna run off~” “I know darling, but this is the start of our new life so allow me to take the lead. Don’t worry your pretty mind about anything.” With that, he places one last peck onto your face. Once again, he is opening the door for you and you guiding you to the some shops. Immediately you notice his firm grip on your waist, and it’s uncomfortable. He said you would be buying clothes but you now realize he meant he was picking clothes FOR you. You’re in the dressing room and he has you trying on all these cute coquette clothing. It feels a little uncomfortable but you try to get used to the feeling of the outfits. Some are loose, and some are tighter. In your mind, you already knew which ones you liked based on the texture, design, etc..

Whenever you came out to show off an outfit you felt like a real couple. Showing off your outfit and making comments, no matter what you wore he seemed to agree it looked good on you, even if you didn’t think so. Something feels wrong about this but you can’t help but smile when he looks at you so adoringly.

You guys go to about three more shops, all of them having a different theme. By the time you were done, it was mid-afternoon. Both of your feet were killing you… not to mention you were hungry… You both agree to stop and get something to eat.

You arrive at a very familiar restaurant… Weren’t you just here? When was that though? If it was important surely you’d remember!

•

Scaramouche was frantic, to say the least. You weren’t answering his messages… Has something happened? He needs to get to you asap, but how? What if you’ve been removed from your home? If it came to it he could ask his mother to track you down, since she had that kind of power.

Knocking on the door he’s anxious, and hoping he would be met with a bright smile and worried hushing telling him that you were okay. After about a minute he knocks on your room window… No reply. Should he wait around? No, that’ll take too long. After some contemplation, he decides to reach out to his mom.

They have a long talk before she eventually caves. It feels like it’s been forever since she’s seen her child and when he comes back he’s on an adventure trying to get his girlfriend back. She didn’t think situations like that existed but he’s shown her the possibilities are endless. The way he talked about you so dearly gave her the impression you were a thing. Since she’s such a good and caring mother, it’s the least she can do for her future daughter!

Maybe he should’ve emphasized that you were just friends even though he wished for more

From what some super normal and not shady people told him, you were last seen at that restaurant you both had visited yesterday. Why were you there? That didn’t matter right now! Furrowing his eyebrows he sat there and thought long and hard. How was he going to get to you? Kazuha would most likely be glued to your side so directly approaching was out of the question. Could he signal you to him from afar? No, that probably won’t work… Pounding his forehead slightly he couldn’t form a good plan.

“You seem troubled, Doll.” A sly finger guided itself through his short purple locks.

“What do you want, Miko? I’m busy and-“

“You know it’s nice to run away then come running back when you need help. Your mother was on edge for weeks. Spending whatever free time she had looking for her poor child. Always looking for you despite her own needs.”

“Did you come to ask me what’s wrong only to turn around and try to guilt trip me? You don’t change, do you?”

Without saying anything she placed a bag next to him and then made her way to the door. Peeking through the bad he looked back to her fleeting figure before shouting out, “Wait! What is this for? You really expect me to forgive you with this bag full of clothes?! Plus, this has girl stuff in it anyways-“ “Silly Kuni! This is to help you get your girl back!” “Excuse me?!” Miko sighed while shrugging, “And you say your moms are no help! C'mon, you have to think outside the box, silly!” Taking the bag back she pulled out the cutest dress you’ve ever seen along with tights and heels. “It’d be stupid to approach her directly. You have no idea what kind of mental state she’s in, she may not trust any other man or claim she’s fine with her captor.” Digging deeper into the bag she pulled out a long wig that happened to be the same shade as his own hair, “So you have to coax her out as someone willing to understand and help her out of the situation!” Before he knew it he was all dolled up, shifting uncomfortably in the dress and trying to adjust his posture and his footing, constantly brushing his much longer locks back while puckering and rolling his lips that had a gloss applied to them. Would this really work?

“Miko, I don’t think this is gonna work… I don’t make a very convincing girl….” he awkwardly fussed with his bangs before glancing over at her. Miko held her phone up and with a click and a flash the very image of… whatever this was… saved onto her phone and probably being backed up to her cloud. “Oh, you look just like your sister!” Placing her phone back in her bag she shooed him out of the car before, then rolled down the window offering a few words, courtesy of her never-ending-kindness! “Just be kind to her, her heart will surely realize who you are... Or don’t! Maybe she’ll see through all of this!” Scaramouche could only grit his teeth as she motioned her hand at him. “I’ll be waiting here so once she comes to her senses I won’t be far. Plus! Wouldn’t want you to try and be all hero-like only to trip and fall in those cuttteee heels of yours!”

•

Spoonful after spoonful you swallowed whatever food had been shoved into your face. Were you even hungry? Not that it matters. At this point, you’ve come to treat this as if it were a real date! Yet your heart doesn’t skip a beat when he cups your face. A couple of people do glance over at you both awkwardly but that smile of yours tells them you’re just a young couple in love. It goes on like this for a few more minutes before beautiful swaying locks catch your eye, it’s true you’ve been ignoring the faces of those who’ve been passing by, but this face is stunning. Your heart skips a beat when your eyes meet each other. Now something about all this feels familiar but you can’t quite pin it down just yet. Kazuha notices how your attention is drawn away from him and he immediately pulls your chin towards him, “Is something the matter my love? You seem distracted.” He bluntly states as his eyebrows furrow slightly in frustration. “A-ah, no, I just…” Perhaps you were scared or maybe still stunned by that girls beauty but you can’t seem to form a coherent thought. He shifts around in his seat a little, ever so slightly moving his chair to block your view of the girl. With a short ‘ahem’ you brush it off as just seeing someone you thought you recognized.

If you look past his intense gaze you can still kinda see her fussing with her long hair. A waiter shows her to her table that so happens to be next to yours. You bite your tongue to hide a giggle when you see her awkwardly try to walk in heels, maybe she’s not used to them? Once she sits down it’s obvious she’s not used to wearing such feminine clothes, the way she keeps lifting her feet off the ground and sliding them farther out, or how she pulls the hem of her dress down even though it��s past her knees. The way she covered her mouth and spoke in a quiet meek voice told you maybe she was shy. Kazuha glanced at you both, almost trying to understand the connection you guys had but signed in defeat, “I’m gonna use the restroom then pay for our food. Don’t go anywhere.” And with that, he was gone but surely it wouldn’t take him long to be back.

Scaramouche had to be quick about this. The least he could do is get you outside.

Trying to keep his ladylike demeanor he tried starting the conversation with something normal. Of course, this meant he would have to speak a little louder in order for you to hear in the louder environment. He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t “practiced” his female voice.

“Isn’t the food here the best?”

Taken aback by how cute she sounded you cover your mouth slightly. “She even has a cute voice!”, you thought to yourself. Once again stunned you take a moment to respond.

“Y-yeah!” your response is a little fast-paced but she just smiles in response. “Haha, you seem a little nervous, what, too stunned by my looks?” Even though he was supposed to be portraying a meek, innocent girl, he couldn’t help but still be cocky. It’s as if you were on autopilot with the way your response was the same yeah…

Part of you felt like that’s something he would say. Who was he again?

“It’s a little stuffy in here, don’t you agree? How about we get some fresh air?” The girl suggested so innocently that you’d completely “forgotten” what Kazuha told you NOT to do. As if you’d been under a spell you followed a girl you didn’t even know the name of out of the restaurant. Her name! You need her name! This can’t be the last time you see each other you need her contact info! You reach to where you would normally keep your phone only for your attention to be stolen away by her.

She handed you her phone that had a picture of a very certain cat. Your heart fastens as you start to recall some things, you couldn’t submit to someone who only half-loved you. No, you had to get home to your first baby. Tears threaten to spill as everything comes back faster than you can comprehend.

He didn’t love you, no, he never did. If he did he would’ve stayed the first night. He was just looking for something to sedate his own woes. You come to the realization that your delusions you made up to protect yourself were false. You haven’t been in love for years like your mind had told you, you don’t know what he really feels, you just filled in the blanks with lies your mind fed you. In reality, you’ve probably only really known each other for a couple of days, during those 4 months you spent pregnant and alone your brain spun a story as if you were real lovers. Hating yourself could come later but for now, you need to get a grip and get out of here. Suddenly you’re caught up to speed and all it feels like you’re gonna vomit, your clothes feel tighter and you can feel your own skin, every pore feels open and you hate every second of it. What feels like hours is only a matter of seconds.

A hand is gently wipes your tears away,

“It’s time to go, Y/n.”

“I cant.. I’m sacred. I-“

“Don’t be. I'm here now, and I’m not letting you go.” He looked so serious, although a little funny since he was still in his getup.

Reaching for your wrist he gently and slowly led you farther away from the establishment and closer to your getaway car.

Both of your steps got faster and faster. You didn’t want to look back, no, you shouldn’t.

A voice you’ve come to hate shouts out to you. Ears pound loudly and your heart skips several beats when you hear fastened footsteps approaching. A wave of pain crashes onto you when your lower back aches in pain. You stop even though you don’t want to and clutch your stomach in retaliation.

You have to move right now otherwise he’ll catch up. Scaramouche turns back around for you and effortlessly picks you up and carries you to the car. When he turned to place you in the car he’s sure Kazuha has seen his face. Crap… Not like it mattered right now. He rushes to the other side of the car but is pulled back by a hand that is placed on his back, it’s cold and uncomfortable. Almost as if it triggered something in him he shouts and pushes him back into the ground.

Once Scaramouche is in the car Miko doesn’t hesitate to slam on the gas pedal and get you both somewhere safe.

Final Part:

When you wake up you’re in a very comfy bed. Moving your legs a little you wince uncontrollably. Memories come flooding back and your eyes dart to where Scaramouche is sitting. A smile makes itself known on your face and you reach out to him. He melts into your touch but avoids looking at you. You know you messed up big time by not running away from Kazuha like you should have… But you were in a deranged state! Surely he won’t blame you completely. Breaking the silence you ask him what’s wrong.

“I know we kinda just met but I hope you know I love you…” he trailed off, still avoiding eye contact. “I always have… It’s a shame you don’t remember me. If you did then I guess you could technically say we didn't just meet.”

Huh? You two knew each other? Maybe he’s got the wrong person. Innocently you ask, “Have we met somewhere before? I’m sorry but I don’t seem to ever recall-“ “Just take a good look at me and try to recall. We used to be playmates when we were little. Your parents were busy like mine so they would drop us off at that one daycare.” Your eyes squint as you take a good look at him, “And we went to school together for a little while- I tried stealing your pen-“ Eyes widening you can’t help but burst out laughing.

Now you remember him!

“It’s you! I- How could I forget? Oh my gosh, it seems work has made me forget my younger days!” Covering your mouth to hide a smile you can’t help but laugh a little louder. His face seems upset but eventually melts into a smiling one along with you. For a couple of moments you both laugh and exchange playful banter. Everything in the world is right at that moment.

But once again, your mistakes will catch up with you.

After the laughing dies down he squeezes your hand and places a handle on your stomach. This causes you to shift uncomfortably but you try to play it off as a cramp.

“When the Doctor came to relay your status he told me one bit of information that… you probably didn’t want me to know.”

Oh shit. Oh shit- Your heart fastens and you try to muster out a response but it hitches in your throat. “I-I canexplain p-please let me-“You fumble your words and tears pool up in your eyes.

With an affirmative squeeze to your hand he smiles softly, “It’s okay.”

“But it’s not- I messed up and now-“ You covered face with your hand, attempting to hide yourself away from him.

“And now- we can work this out, together. I promise I will do my best to be a good parent. If you’d just give me a chance- A chance to take care of you and your child. I would do anything to be with you once and for all. Please, Y/n, don’t leave me again.” His hand came up to yours pressed against your face, and slowly removed it from you.

A part of you feels raw, and exposed, yet, this time it’s different. Part of your brain tells you to run from his affection but the other part feels so defeated that you just want to cry into his chest and beg him to stay with you. Lucky for you he was willing to stay with you. Even if you were going to have your kidnapper's baby. Leaning into him you cried out all your sorrows that had been bottled up for the past couple of months. All he could do was rub your back and listen to you cry your heart out.

It felt good to finally tell someone how you truly felt. How much has been troubling you? Although you’re sure if you were to tell this to a professional you’d been locked up….

After you’re done crying you wipe your tears and take a deep breath. Your chest and shoulders feel lighter. The whiplash of everything could hit you later, you couldn’t care less right now. All you wanted to do was eat, stretch, and take a nap.

Scaramouche looked at you dead in the eye and you feared the worst. Was he joking? Did he actually hate you and never want to see you again? Did-

“Goddamit- I dropped my wig…”

You stare at each other for a second before you burst out laughing. “That’s a shame! You didn’t look half bad in it~” you joked. “Oh please- You were head over heels for me and you know it!” “Ah, you got me there! Who knew you’d make such a fine girl! If only you could say the same about you know-Ow!” he punched your shoulder gently, but considering your current state it hurt more than he intended. “I’m sorry, Y/n- I-“ He checked the area to see if it was bruised or anything but was immediately met with a flick to the forehead. “Ow-!” “Haha, got you!” “You little-“

Both of your bickering would soon die down as soon as his parents would enter the room. It was obvious how you both turned stiff as boards. Acting as if you weren’t pulling each other’s hair like you once had.

Ei placed some flowers on the bed stand and Miko would sit down on the bed with some sweets in hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Y/n.” Ei bowed politely, “I’m not sure if my son had mentioned us to you. If not it’s alright- But we are his parents.” Miko started feeding some cake with a fork as she nodded along. “I’m very happy to see you make my son happy. It used to worry me that my son would die alone-“she feigned a tear falling from her eye. “MOM.” Blush spread across Scaramouche’s face as he crossed his arms. “Ah, excuse me, that’s beside the point! What I mean to say is that you shouldn’t worry about the wedding founding- Your new moms will buy you everything you will need-“ “THATS NOT ANY BETTER!” He exclaimed even redder. She smiled so innocently all while still looking a little confused. Miko finally chimed in, “What she means to say is that she supports you both no matter what. Even if you don’t think she agrees with you,” she turned her head towards him, “she believes you both will make the right choice. We hope you both can treat this as a new beginning. As I like to say, carpe diem!” “You never say that.” Ei tilted her head with a soft smile. “Well, I do now!”

All four of you burst out laughing. You guys talk a little more before they leave for their business dinner. Once again you and Scara are alone.

“Are you really sure you’re okay with marrying a pregnant woman?” “Of course I’m fine with it, since it being you and all.” Rubbing the back of his head he laid his head down on the bed, “Are YOU sure you wanna get married right away? Just because my mom mistook us for dating already doesn’t mean we should skip that part… Plus, what if you don’t like who I am…” You pet his soft purple hair with a smile, “Well, as long as you promise not to be a complete asshole, then I suppose we’ll be just fine!” “You think I’m an asshole?” “Haha, anyways…. What kind of wedding cake should we have? I was thinking of a [favorite flavor] cake! Ooohh and we can look at the different types of venues! Ah, I guess after that we need to plan a baby shower!”

He’d completely tuned you out and just stared at you, lovingly. Your skin glowed perfectly from the artificial light, and that smile of yours was perfect. You no longer looked tired and stressed; instead, you looked happy and not so tired. He couldn’t blame his ex-friend for falling for you. Although he feels a little jealous that he’s seen parts of you that now belong to his eyes only now.

Fingers tap up and down on the bed as if he’s contemplating something. You take notice and tap his shoulder, you ask if he’s listening. Suddenly he gets up- His soft lips are placed against your slightly chapped ones. It’s warm. Your eyes widen in surprise as you slowly melt into the kiss.

Once he pulls away you’re both gasping for air. Out of embarrassment, he hides his face in your neck. He’s embarrassed- you are too. “A-a little warning would’ve been nice. I was talking yknow?” “Shut up before I kiss you again..” You knew he was too embarrassed to do it again so you teased, “Yeah, I think you’d like that-“ Instead of another passionate kiss he instead peppered kisses all over your face. “I hate you.” “I love you, Scara.”

•

The wedding went amazing since his parents had done most of the planning (of course you both directed them) And your baby shower went just as well! Initially, you were both worried a certain someone would catch wind of it- and you’re sure he did. Thankfully the place was heavily guarded (, courtesy of Miko) and was also in a secluded area, along with there being a very strict guest list. You both already knew the gender so the part just consisted of fun baby shower games and many gifts from your friends and families.

You had been getting intensive therapy for the rest of your pregnancy. Those couple of months left you with deeper wounds than you had thought. Of course, you still have trouble with going out on your own and you’ve completely dropped going out (since you’re a mother now ofc) When you do have to go out alone you wear your hair differently each time along with a mask and sunglasses. Whenever someone gets a little too close they happen to get stopped by someone. Your bad dreams usually consist of you trying to run away but your legs move slowly or trying to scream but nothing comes out, and other things you’d rather not discuss...

Your delivery went well and luckily you gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Ei and Miko informed you that you had a week to name him. On the fifth day, you and Scara decided on [name], since you both liked the name and agreed on it. When both of the families came to see him you got the chance to meet Scara’s aunt and sister (who both happened to be named Makoto, although Scara called his sister Raiden since she was “scary”) The boy was blessed with your hair color (he has a red streak through it) but had his fathers eyes. At first, it scared you but with some affirming words from both sides of the family and your lover, you’ve grown to love them.

Some of your friends and family didn’t approve that Scara wasn’t the father, some even berating you and calling you names. The name-calling mostly came from Scara’s side of the family. Area

On your son's first birthday, he spoke his first words. “Mama!” You nearly cried tears of joy when he said that. Scaramouche frowned and pinched the boy's cheeks gently with a huff. Much to his surprise the boy spoke again, “Daddy!” Now both of you were crying tears of joy. You swaddled your boy in the softest blankets before you both cuddled him off to sleep. Both not believing you had been blessed with such a joy.

Once your son has gotten a little older he learned how to say the cat’s name, always gesturing his hands and babbling, “Meowmeow!” The now healthier cat would come to the boy and rub its head against your son accompanied by a purr.

Once he turned two years old you noticed how he started taking after his father, often mimicking him by making an angry face and huffing. All you could do was smile and kiss him while his father pouted behind you both. One time you had joked around with your young son by asking him, “What face does daddy make when he’s angry” and your son crossed his arms with a scowl on his face. You burst out laughing while your husband messed with his hair pretending to be upset.

You went back to work while Scara was a stay-at-home husband. On stressful days you would come home, sore and tired, but the moment your eyes laid on Scara’a resting figure along with your sons. Well, your heart simply melted into mush as you took about 30 pictures of them from all angles. You were convinced that all of the time you spent alone and suffering was worth it for this moment.

It felt like that person was a bad dream- but now, you’re wide awake and ready to face the future with your loving husband, and adorable son.

Gawdamn I don’t stop yapping🙏 If you read all of this ty pookie!! there will be a $10 mil block of gold under your pillow when you wake up ��😋 I will be writing some hcs (maybe) and a scenario where u encounter kazuha w your kid soon!!! (i promise) Anyways i’m knocking tf out… BAI><!!

♡ taglist: @swivy123

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin x y/n #genshin fluff #fem!reader #genshin angst #kazuha x reader #pregnant!reader #scaramouche x fem!reader #angst to fluff #stockhom syndrome

71 notes · View notes

madam-whim · 8 months

Text

The Gold Road Reveal and my thoughts on it

I’m gonna start this off by saying I love ESO. I have been playing since 2017 and I’m pretty much doing everything the game has to offer. Quests, dungeons, trials, antiquities, sometimes PvP. That being said, this post will include lots of criticism that I feel (or know) is shared by many other fans.

But first things first, let me start off by listing some of the things on yesterday’s stream that had me bouncing in my seat:

The new zone is absolutely stunning! There’s a lot of variety to it and it does look very pretty. Exploring it will undoubtedly be fun and a feast for my eyes.

Also, Fennorian will be there, so I know there will at least be one well-written character that my Vestige has an actual bond with.

The scribing system being more of a roleplay thing – I don’t know what some people were hoping for, but I’m glad it’s not some Big Damage For Those Who Are Good At Maths kind of system. It still allows for a more unique playstyle, and I suppose it’s going to turn out like always: Do whatever you want in open world spaces, but keep your bow backflip heal out of veteran content.

And maybe the biggest “Yes!” moment of the evening: Ed Stark being the zone lead for Gold Road. While I did not like High Isle as much (too predictable for my taste, but at least it had recurring characters), he was responsible for Greymoor and Murkmire as well. I thought Greymoor was fantastic (good quests, excellent new characters alongside very familiar recurring ones), and Murkmire… well, I think Murkmire suffers greatly from being “the DLC that came after the Daedric Triad” so to speak. It kind of fell into the void created by a storyline spanning a full year (or even more, if you count the setup for the whole thing, which really began with the Varen’s ghost and Darien’s letter in Wrothgar and the Gold Coast sweetroll killer quests). I think that’s why lots of people don’t seem to like Murkmire very much despite it having great storytelling. My point is this: I do have some hope that after the fiasco some recent DLCs were story-wise, Ed Stark will at least make sure Gold Road makes sense.

And now for the criticism.

Ithelia’s design (Whenever, wherever, I want to kill Hermaeus…)

… yeah, about that. As one of my friends put it, she looks like Shakira with wings.

They really could have done so much better. The way she is now, as @akaviri-dovah said, she really just looks like a Meridia clone who somehow stole Jyggalag’s crystals, which is funny on so many levels (more on that later). Suffice it to say that I personally think the design choices are kind of lazy, given that we already have an angelic-looking Daedric lady.

Also, what’s with this picture? This kinda makes it seem as if she originally looked. Um. A lil different from the way she is now. In any case, I’m just gonna call this a missed opportunity for something more unique. I do like the glass shard aesthetic, I just wish they’d taken it in a different direction.

Dragon Break Princess Ithelia, or something like that

Now I know Dragon Breaks have to work differently from what Ithelia does, but I am kind of wondering what the consequences of her fate-altering abilities are. How do you alter fate in a way that threatens reality (with reality consisting of past and present events, with all possible versions of the future being possibly-real until one actually happens) without altering the timeline? Just by removing a possible future? Then one could argue that any Daedra could do the same just by manipulating people. Granted, it’s possible that Ithelia sees all possible futures and can do whatever she likes with them, but even then, she’d only be influencing what can become reality, not what already is. So how can she be THAT dangerous?

Right now, it just seems to me that they needed an adversary for Hermaeus Mora, and since his big things are knowledge, secrets and fate, and they couldn’t very well make a Daedric Prince of Anti-Intellectualism or a Daedric Prince of Snitching, she had to be a fate-altering type of Daedra.

At this point I’m still wondering how she even works, because how does she not accidentally cause Dragon Breaks? And if she is that damn powerful, how on earth did Mora alone manage to pretty much remove any trace of her? Which kind of brings me to my next point.

Memory Issues

I know, I know, Ithelia is not the first “new” Daedric Prince. (Which makes her stolen Jyggalag crystal vibes rather funny if you ask me.) And I don’t mind her being crazy powerful either, because so was Jyggalag or else he wouldn’t have been cursed. But that, to my knowledge, required several other Princes, whereas Ithelia apparently got owned by Hermaeus Mora alone, who then erased all memory of her. Which is not only quite the feat given how powerful she has to be, but also a very weird thing for Hermaeus Mora to do. I kinda thought stealing memories was more Meridia’s style. This entire part does not quite make sense to me yet and seems a little out of character, but well. By the way, speaking of Meridia…

Meridia-baiting the players

At this point, ZOS have to know we’re getting tired of waiting for villain Meridia. Everyone I know who is even the least bit interested in ESO’s storyline wants to see it. And I’ve seen people get their hopes up in recent days (new Meridia/Dawnbreaker-themed music box, the Ayleid ruin hint on the fragments sent to streamers…). Even in the twitch chat, there were people hyped about what they thought was Meridia, and who were disappointed when they were told it was Ithelia. And yes, I am absolutely saying they did this and made her a Meridia lookalike on purpose. But I’m well aware that we haven’t gotten any new hints about either Meridia or a certain someone since Greymoor, and that chapter will be four years old soon. Even I am beginning to give up, as much as I hate to say it.

By the way, I really did NOT appreciate Matt Firor name-dropping Darien right at the beginning. If you’re not planning to do anything with him, just let it go. I know absolutely nobody who appreciates being fed very tiny hints for two years and then being left in the dark for four years straight. If you don’t want to pick that storyline up again, just stuff the man into the Old Life quest and be done with it.

Honestly, once again, I’m gonna say this is a MASSIVE missed opportunity right here. ESO’s 10 year anniversary is coming up, what could possibly be better than to go back to the roots now and reward all those loyal players with the story they are waiting for? I distinctly recall Molag Bal telling me to watch my step around Meridia, and the setup is all there. I’m honestly disappointed that there is no Meridia content at all. And this ties in with my final point, albeit vaguely.

“Recurring” characters

Ah, yes, we do love recurring characters. Sometimes. We do love it when a fan favorite comes back – a character who’s accompanied the Vestige over the course of an entire story arc or has made multiple appearances over the years and has become beloved by many players, and, most importantly, who is well-written, i.e. has a unique personality. And that’s why “recurring characters” is not always a recipe for success when it comes to getting people hooked on a story.

It is when it’s one of the five companions, or a Ravenwatch member, or your main alliance buddy (Raz, Naryu and – oh, wait, yeah, us Covenant babies don’t have one anymore). It also works when it’s a character we’ve run across several times already, like Alchemy, who I know tons of people love, or my favorite walking disaster Revus Demnevanni.

But it’s certainly not working when it’s a character we barely know anything about, and who isn’t a hit with the community. Like Eveli’s brother whom I had to google because I could not remember who he was. He’s from a prologue quest. Nothing more. That’s not a “beloved returning character”.

ZOS have several of those just lying around, and they’re just not using them. And even the base game had so many characters that were there over the course of several zones, that were well-written and at least memorable to the degree that people would recognize them with just a little reminder, like Indaenir or Holgunn and Walks-in-Ash or the Vanos siblings. Hell, we haven't seen good old Vanus Galerion in a while. They are ten years old now and deserve to be dragged to the surface again.

Okay, I’m done now!

This concludes my rant (because that’s what it is, I’m aware). I just want to say again that this is not be dragging ESO through the mud, this is just me pointing out that the devs (especially the writers) could do so much better if they listened to their lore nerds and story-interested players more.

#eso #gold road #ithelia #hermaeus mora #meridia #long post #tes #intya rambles #i am still very salty about the whole meridia situation #and the unfinished business we have with her #and I don't like players getting their hopes up for nothing

54 notes · View notes

gurugirl · 1 year

Note

I love stepdad Harry! Always brings a smile to my face when i see youve posted (guilty pleasure yum). Thank you for the last one!

but i cannot get enough of stepmom reader. You’ve made that one into something really special. In fact I told someone about it last week and they were like ~ nope. Not into stepmom stuff or older yn. Nope ~

but then guess what? they wound up reading it and binged all three parts and admitted to me that they were wrong 😂 I’m like ‘yeah I know’

just wanted to share that with you! Your stepmom fic is so shockingly good (not shocking bc you’re not a good writer, shocking bc it’s a trope most of us were not interested in) that it’s quickly become my top 5 all time favorite.

i cannot wait for part 4! I adore them and you so much. Do you have any idea when part 4 will come out? Any sneaky???

ps.. sorry for the weird capitalization stuff going on there. My phone decided when to capitalize randomly and I’m too lazy to fix.

A Good Boy sneak peek under the cut below!

🥹 thank you so much, babe. Really glad you liked the stepdad!harry from yesterday! That was a quick little fun thing to write.

As for stepmom!reader - wow! I really love that you're liking it so much and talking about it with other people and that your friend changed their mind 😂 Seems to be the theme for that fic. So many of y'all didn't think you'd like it based on the trope alone but I'm surprised that you guys did enjoy it anyway! Makes me smile.

So, I'm almost done with part 4. I think I can have it out by Thursday? Maybe? I'm super busy today (well, busy for me LOL) and gonna try to write but I've also got something I'm working on that someone paid me to write so I'm prioritizing that. Thursday at the earliest I'll post part 4 but I'll let y'all know.

And the random capitalization? My phone does the same. 😂 The words can't, can, and don't often get capitalized in the middle of sentences and it's a crapshoot on when the beginning of a sentence will be capitalized or not. I need to turn it off so it just leaves everything lowercase. So no judgement from me!

Sneak peek below !! (just remember this is literally copied from the word doc I'm writing in and hasn't been proofread or edited so some changed may be made before I post part 4)

Y/n was wearing her newly altered peach silk dress. The alterations were simple. The straps and hem were adjusted and the back column was dropped down a bit to drape to her low back. Her strappy nude heels were well-worn but comfortable because she was just simply not in the mood to wear the stiff, new heels she’d just bought.

The estate of Rebecca Manera was impressive. Probably equally as impressive as Leonardo Styles’. Most of the guests had already arrived by the time the Styles’ walked through the front door a little late.

Leo scolded Y/n for taking so long to get ready and making them run behind but in all honesty, she didn’t give a fuck. They could be half an hour late. No one would care. Why rush to go to a party? It’s not like they needed to clock in and earn a paycheck.

“It’s rude, Y/n. That’s why it matters. You’re so goddamn rude sometimes. You only think about yourself.”

She turned sharply to look at her husband in shock. That was the first time he’d ever said such a thing to her. Normally he had no opinion on how she conducted herself. She was chronically late. Yes, she could admit that was a flaw in her character but she was on time when it really counted. But to get so worked up over a party? And to insult her on top of it?

That had set the whole mood for the night. And now she was even more suspicious about this Rebecca.

But when Rebecca did make her appearance and introduced herself to Y/n she was taken aback. The woman had to be in her 50s. She was pretty, sure, but not quite Leo’s type. If Y/n were any sort of indicator of a type.

Servers walked around with trays and served the couples in attendance. There were only ten couples there as well as Rebecca’s two daughters, Y/n learned. Quite the intimate affair really.

Leo brought a glass of wine to Y/n as she chatted with Mrs. Topman (she never learned her first name, as the woman literally introduced herself as Mrs. Topman).

“Here you are darling.” His green eyes shined down at her before searching the room casually. She was on to Leo. But she found it odd that the woman he was with in the Hamptons was Rebecca. She was intrigued.

She watched Rebecca mingle and sip wine and laugh and there was nothing there that made Y/n think Leo would be interested in her sexually. But maybe that was it, Y/n thought to herself as she cocked her head to the side watching the woman speak boisterously. Maybe it wasn’t sexual. Maybe it was a woman he felt a deeper connection with than he did with Y/n. Perhaps it hadn’t started sexual but led there.

The snack table was set up with decadent treats. Y/n picked up a toast smeared with something pink, topped with heart-shaped tomatoes on top as she scanned the room for Leo, wondering where he’d gone off to. It hadn’t been that long but knowing about Rebecca being with him made things feel like she was in some kind of true crime detective story and was trying to get to the bottom of a mystery. Though there was no crime being committed, she could entertain herself with that thought.

“Are you enjoying your time tonight?”

Y/n turned her sight to Rebecca who was next to her picking up the same toast with pink schmear.

“It’s amazing. Your home is so lovely, Mrs. Manera,” she smiled and noted the woman’s massive diamond ring in addition to her massive diamond wedding ring.

“Why thank you. Phineas has put in so much work to make this large shell into a lovely cozy home.”

Y/n nearly spat her bite out. The home was anything but cozy.

“It’s incredible. Where is Mr. Manera tonight?”

“Oh, just over there,” she pointed to a man in tweed with thick black-framed glasses, “You haven’t met yet?”

Rebecca led the way as Y/n walked in her wake to meet Mr. Manera. She had still not spotted her own husband.

“Phineas, dear, this is Mrs. Styles. Leonardo’s wife.”

The man held his hand out, “Very nice to meet you, Mrs. Styles.”

“Likewise. You can call me Y/n.”

“Well, Y/n. We’re happy to have you here. Where’s Leo anyway? Haven’t seen him.”

Turning around quickly to look over her shoulder she shrugged and faced the man and his wife again, “Not sure actually. I haven’t seen him in a bit myself,” she laughed. And before she could even think about what she was implying she spoke to Rebecca, “But I’m sure you’ve seen enough of him since you saw him in the Hampton’s this weekend.”

Rebecca and Phineas’ smiles dropped as they looked at one another and then back to Y/n, “I haven’t been to the Hamptons in over a decade. Are you sure you’re not mistaking me for Parker? Our daughter? She was just there all weekend with her girlfriends.”

A Good Boy Masterlist

A Good Boy tags: @becauseheartsgetbroken-hs @shishcabobsworld @daphnesutton @spinnerswife69 @holy-macncheese-balls @cookielovesbook-akie @lilfreakjez @itsgigikay @amateurduck

#harry styles #firstpost #ask #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fiction #sneak peek #harry styles x yn #harry styles x y/n #harry styles writing #stepmom!reader

50 notes · View notes

quibbs126 · 1 year

Text

It’s been basically 3 and a half days and I have not done anything

I have had all the time in the world and no excuses to not to do my homework, to not study my class material, to not make a resume and actually apply for a job, to not call my parents (and I already didn’t do that last week)

I’m doing exactly what I did last semester, which is the absolute bare minimum, if even that, and by the end of the semester it’ll come back to bite me just like it did before and I’ll have no one but myself to blame, since I knew it was a problem and said I’d fix it, but I didn’t do anything to actually fix it. I suppose the only thing I’m doing better is that I’m doing most of my homework. At least partially

That’s what always happens; I say that tomorrow I’m gonna do something, I say I’m gonna be productive, I’m going to change my ways, and then the next day comes and goes and I don’t do anything, making myself feel more guilty and then ending the day saying again that tomorrow’s a new day, I’ll be productive tomorrow

*sigh* it’s like…I don’t have the motivation to do anything. And I hate it, but I cannot force myself to do something about it. Even if the solution is right there, it’s so easy, I just need to do this one small thing, I just can’t force myself to do that simple task. And that’s the worst part, that the solution is so simple, it’s right there, I have literally no excuse not to do it, but I just don’t do it. And so that opportunity slips by and I know the only thing stopping me from improving my life in some way was that I was just too lazy to do something simple

But going back to the not doing anything for 3 and a half days, what makes it worse is that today at least, I have had no creative juices flowing. I don’t just mean that I couldn’t work on my requests or art (though that’s one thing too, and I just don’t feel like doing my requests right now, even though I should), I mean that usually, when I’m doing nothing, I come up with some story or plot point to focus on to think about and pass the time, usually about a fandom I’m currently in, a character I’ve created, or an original creation of mine (possibly with crossover with another fandom I’m currently interested in). But today, I haven’t had anything good to focus on, and it’s driving me nuts. It’s like when you’re trying to find the right song to listen to, but you don’t know what it is today, and so your scrolling through your entire list of songs on your phone trying to find that good one, and you keep trying songs that just aren’t doing it for you right now, and you just get more frustrated that you can’t find that one song. Which is also something I’m dealing with today, I can’t find the right song to listen to, and it’s incredibly frustrating

I don’t know why I’m posting about this, I guess I just want to say it. I mean, at least I don’t feel as bad as I did yesterday

But also like, every time I post about whatever struggle I’m dealing with, I get comments with people trying to help me, and I appreciate that, I really do, you don’t know how much it means to me, but the problem is I don’t feel as bad about things afterwards, and thus I feel no reason to actually do anything about the problem, as it feels over, and so it remains, festering until it bubbles up again

I dunno. Roommate came back after the weekend around the end of this post and my train of thought was sabotaged

#real life stuff #school #what else do I tag this?#I need to make a new original story soon #I feel like I haven’t made one in a while #what to make it about though…#probably something Berserk inspired (by which I mean it’ll likely be a complete ripoff)#or Cookie Run #I want a new Cookie Run game #one that’s another runner like Ovenbreak #and with simple designs #what am I talking about?

2 notes · View notes

dancinginfreedom · 2 years

Text

Today, I woke up feeling lethargic. My back and shoulder soring more than any other day that it did. But, I got up anyway. Went for my favorite mug in the kitchen, poured my usual morning hot karak into it. Rummaged through my plastic of groceries underneath my bed and found a pack of wafer to eat with my hot drink to welcome the morning. I reached for the book I’m reading these days, and just like that, I deliberately tried to start my day in a peaceful manner.

I was browsing instagram yesterday, and there was one particular reel that reminded me while clicking my loud keyboard at this very moment. It was about conventionally finding a reason to wake up each morning no matter how trivial it is. It was, in summary, finding your purpose each passing day. Today, it was freaking hard to do that especially with a back ache that screams “notice me, i need to be mended!”.

As I was slowly scanning my eyes through the words of the book in front of me telling “when you’re in an emotional state, empty your mind and take a break”, I unconsciously stopped and found myself staring blankly at the three-wick scented candle I lit at my bedside table while lying down on my stomach. Suddenly, everything felt so strange to me. Then, I knew, in that moment, I’ve never experienced this before….in a long while.

Afterwards, I just wanted to fall back to sleep even after having a full eight hours of sleep last night. I wanted to empty my mind and just give in to my desire of sleeping again despite not feeling sleepy. I was indeed in lethargy.

Yet, after that short peacefulness, my mind started to go full cycle at work again. I randomly wanted to write while my chaotic brain cells are somehow in sync with each other. I tried to save all these conceptual thoughts as much as I can that just kept flashing in a snap through my mind.

Just like that, in the rarity of all days, today was the day that my heart was at it again telling my brain “you’re still gonna achieve that dream to write your own book one day”. And unlike any other rare day, my brain agreed responding “I trust you, despite the chaos and messiness I bring to you every time you try to put all the floating thoughts in me altogether”.

I got out of bed, decided to take my shower to freshen up. And, here I am — typing a piece of my life story by sharing what my day looks like. Well, pretty much a day of choosing to first embrace my own emotional creases, without forcing myself to be positive nor to smile, bearing in mind the phrase “repressed emotions build up over time and would start to rot, blocking the way for all our feelings, even the positive ones”, from I’m Not Lazy, I’m on Energy Saving Mode.

It is better to release what you feel, deal with them head on than avoiding them by digging a hole to pile them up. Prevention is indeed better than cure. And when it comes to our emotional wellbeing, prevention might look like this:

“deal with me now, even recklessly is okay. it is better that way than not acting upon it at all”

Dealing with our emotions, fortunately, doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. It is making a space for a break — to feel and sit in with all that we feel. It is not even about understanding WHY nor figuring out WHERE they are coming from.

I do think that our emotions should not be left to harden and get swept to the side. Sometimes, just trying to understand our emotions AS THEY ARE without even knowing the answer, is THE ANSWER.

Stomach cramps just said “HI” to me while I’m trying to finish up this blogpost, unlocking the key why I’m feeling blue since last night and lethargic since this morning. Oh well, of course, I’m no exception to the hormones attack that every woman experiences whenever that period comes every month. And this makes me have the right to say…

ANSWERS do show up, from time to time, oddly most times, when we’re not even looking for them (ughh, but yeah, being a woman is so weird too, don’t you think? 🥺😬😅)

(this is the first ever post i’ve published on this platform after being on an unintentional hiatus for exactly a year and a half)

#life #self growth #selfreflections #self improvement #self love #self healing #self worth #emotions #anxienty #love yourself

6 notes · View notes

weabooweedwitch · 1 year

Note

Your mom sounds insufferable and I'm sorry you have to live with her and shoulder the entire financial burden and household management. Whenever I see a post abt your mom on my timeline I'm like 'damn it sounds like she's the mom and her mom is the daughter this is some crazy role reversal shit' and I feel annoyed on your behalf. I'm sorry your mom is too self-absorbed to seek help for whatever prevents her from being a functional parent or at least not a willful burden on her daughter. You're taking care of her as if she's elderly or severely sick when you're only 26 and she doesn't even seem grateful >_> like she doesn't even see problem with it as if she's just entitled to it and doesn't seem to care that by not pulling her own weight she's preventing you from saving up to move out and start your own life. I hope you can eventually get out of there and big props to you for not going completely insane

It's so conflicting for me because I REALIZE my mom has been through a lot and it's only fairly recently within the last few years I actually started "growing up" but so many of these problems are systemic or behavioral and like

Ok. So you could even completely remove all of me and my moms arguments over chores and housework and all that, and she still does still like "oh the garage door is operating a little wonky and I tried to contact the management several times but they never responded so I JUST STOPPED PAYING RENT ON IT FOR MONTHS" LIKE IS SHE ACTUALLY INSANE???? She's lucky they didn't come and physically change the pin code and lock us out and throw out all our stuff! It's SUPPOSED to be protecting her car from the weather but since we moved about 2 years ago "oh the walk is just so far now" so now its a glorified storage locker while her already rusting 20+ year old car she bought secondhand only a few years ago sits out in the snow and salt and rain. Her hubcaps were cracked and she "didn't like how it looked" so she just. Completely removed them and now her tires are slowly getting weather damaged because "oh its better to have no hubcaps than look ghetto" no it doesn't you stupid cunt this is a 20+ year old car? The wiring for the radio and car chargers doesn't even work anymore??? You're lugerally having to replace your car every like 5 years do you not realize how not fucking normal that is???

Putting the rest under a rm because life is bullshit and I kind of ramble for a long time

One day I'm in my room trying to sleep and I hear her on the phone sounding really upset. She had an old debt on a car from like 10 years ago and its been collecting interest this whole time. It's just like. She doesn't even know about all her fucking debts anymore. And she's dragging me down too. Years ago, literal years ago, I gave her permission to put my name on a cable bill and she completely forgot about it and now i get nonstop robocalls because now i have an unpaid debt on my credit report. I'm nearly ready to give them her name and phone number and say she used my name without my consent

She just. I try to temper myself and see things from her perspective, yeah I can be really lazy, yeah a lot of days I DO just come home and sit in my room and I don't come out, but she would still have a LIST of issues? I only found out about this garage shit yesterday and I said "jesus chrisr how many months behind are we now because of you?" "Several" SHE DOESNT EVEN CARE, her mentality is "oh they aren't coming to fix the door or replying to me so I'm not gonna pay until they do" BITCH THEY COULD ADD INTEREST AND LATE FEES, YOU DONT HAVE A JOB RIGHT NOW?

I'm just constantly crying because I don't. Know what to do? I was toxic codependent with her for so many years because of trauma and she tries to shelter and protect me because horrible child abusive dad etc etc etc, but now I'm an adult and she's still doing a lot of the same issues I've ALWAYS seen? Like I was literally an elementary schooler having adult conversations with her mother my grandma for Years asking "what is wrong with mom"

Like. It's having an extremely negative affect on me that basically my biggest source of support is dismissive and talks over me but also expects me to constantly dish out empathy for her. I'm literally becoming like one of those bratty teenager characters who is mean to their parent 24/7 because, it's just like. Every time I turn around she's making mistakes? She took too many Naproxen and almost made herself extremely sick and then t9ld me I needed medication and was acting hysterical even after a LISCENSED TOXICOLOGIST told her she was lucky Zhe wasn't in excruciating pain and vomiting. She'll burn food because she'll assume how it's cooked because shebhas like a legit8mate mental disorder with reading instructions, like my whole entire life she would literally be assembling furniture without even reading the instructions

She just lives in her own little world "where it's ok if I make a mistake but if anyone else does it's because they're a diversity hire, if im late on payments people should work with me and let me make payment arrangements even if it's literally against their policy and they're cunts if they don't it's not my fault for not paying" like I literally told her to her face "is it some sort of defense mechanism that you literally CANT admit when you're wrong?"

I'm still. I'm still so fucking upset over the pills. She took a ton of pills and kept taking them without really even keeping track of how many she was taking "because I wanted the pain to stop" and even then that pain is because she kept putting off going to the dentist and she literally WORKS IN THE MEDICAL FIELD, SHE SHOULD KNOW HOW THIS SHIT WORKS. And then she yells at me "YOUVE NEVER BEEN IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN BEFORE" and its like YES I LITERALLY HAVE, I HAD TO HAVE SURGERY FOR IT, TWICE

It just makes me feel so small. It makes me feel so silenced. I'll try to talk to her about these issues and if I'm not ext4a special sweet and kissing her ass "you're being a bitch, you can't speak to me like that" and she refuses to actually finish the conversation so we can Work Things Out so we have to have the SAME CONVERSATIONS over and over and over and nothing changes. I know I'm one to talk but she literally has some sort of personality disorder and then she passed so much unhealthy shit on to me????

She's only 58 but slowly declining in health and I worry constantly when this "im too old/tired/I have a headache, you do it" bullshit will escalate and she stops working. Because she doesn't have any savings and I have SO much anger towards her I don't trust myself to be a caregiver for her.

I'm medicating the stress with weed to the point I'm pretty sure it's actually making me hyper aggressive and I'm genuinely ready to go back to being an alcoholic sometimes. I just want to be alone in the dark and not talk to anyone or hear anyone. It's just at the point where I'm constantly mean to her because it's like "oh you made this really small mistake like you forgot something at home and now we have to circle back? I WOULD be ok with that if you didn't make mistakes literally every single day to the point I call you subhuman"

I'm constantly experiencing really harsh stomach issues daily and I'm amazed I'm nkr prematurely graying. Pretty sure my hairline is receding? And I try to talk to her about that because she failed cosmetology school twice and I won't even finish my sentence before she fuckint interrupts me

And I'll say "why is there legitimately never one single day where you aren't interrupting me, like they literally teach us in DBT therapy that you need to be mindful and liaten to someone speaking instead of interrupting with your reply" and she'll just say "but YOU do it all the time"

Like can you understand how like horrifically horrifically violent I want to be when I literally cannot bring up even one issue without her DEFLECTING, IMMEDIATELY???? "Hey mom I think my hairline is receding and I still vividly remember how you would repeatedly tell me to wear my ponytail tighter and higher up because 'wearing it low is like a man' and I think that was really unnecessary" "what, that was a long time ago, you blame me for everything--" "can you at least acknowledge that was a thing you actually said and did and that it upset me" "you're always trying to blame me for--" "can you literally just say ok I'm sorry that happened that would literally be the end of the conversation" "you're always trying to dig up old drama, this is just like when YOU--"

I'll be at work and I'll be too stressed to even focus because sometimes I don't even trust her in our own fucking home. She'll text me "hey is this reptile thermometer supposed to read these numbers" and this will be a conversation we've already had several times in the past and she will turn off the AC or turn the heat up or down amd then go to bed without even waiting for me to reply like she has literally almost given my reptiles heat stroke by turning off the AC and just opening windows

Like you can literally pull up an academic article about shaving doesn't make your hair grow back thicker and this moronic fucking loser will legitimately clap back with "well I had a friend who was a dermatologist and she said--" like. It's Dana's Reality or you're wrong. Only she is right and deserves welfare and handouts and sympathy and exceptions but everyone else is just too lazy or not trying hard enough or her favorite accusation, that I deliberately sabotage myself because I want to wallow in sadness

It's just. It's getting to the point I may have to run away for HER safety instead of my own because when you try to talk and talk and talk and eventually what little talking you do is all nasty words, eventually I just think "God, will she listen if I fucking hit her, is that what it'll take, will that wake her up" but she would just happily throw me in jail just like when she got up in my sisters face when she was 17 and my sister just slapped her one time and my mom had her arrested "as a punishment" and was mad when she paid bail and was released the following day

I just. I'm so lost. I think the only real answer is to leave but I'm not self sufficient enough and I'm definitely not healthy for such a huge dramatic change. Meanwhile my job is getting harder because people keep quitting and I just feel so insanely overwhelmed. It just literally feels like there's no point in me being alive anymore. I keep getting set back or too tired to move forward. Like I had an argument with my mom before my shift instantly went "dude what if you just have this one final shift before you're off the next few days and then just KILL YOURSELF before you have to go back to work" and those thoughts just, occur casually at this point. Mild suicidal ideation?

I dunno. I constantly ask myself if it's even ethical for me to even talk about my own feelings because it could be argued that I'm just stressing and traumatizing people. Like I constantly ask myself, "if I ever did anything to hurt myself, should I post something so people at least know where I went or would that be horrible and manipulative and traumatic and awful of me to do" like. I'm Definitely Normal having Defnitely Normal Thoughts.

I hate even saying all of this but I just. I dunno. I'm a coward. I'm literally so fucked up that sometimes when I laugh the shaking of my body like does something to my brain and i instantly transition into sobbing. I'm just another wage slave leaving a record of my woe behind idk. At least there are SOME people in this world who recognize my pain

#im literally at work and i juat want to cry in the bathroom or run out onto the neighboring highway

1 note · View note

artistictiana · 4 months

Text

I finally finished rewriting the prolouge to my story. I also decided to post it here first rather than Wattpad because my current account seems to be popular due to a fanfic I wrote in the 9th grade. Imma make a new account so that way I can start clean. But here it is.

A Journey Through Time: The Hamilton Enigma

Prolouge

_____________________

“IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!! DA DA DA DAAAA DA DA DA DA DAAAAA”

”Nooooo…” I whine as my alarm that is set for 6 a.m. plays at full volume. I slowly rise to a sitting position and rub the sleep from my eyes. I need to finish unpacking before my brother scolds me for lying to him.

I sigh as I grab my phone and turn off the alarm. In my mind, I plan out exactly how I was going to unpack all the last boxes. Start upstairs with the rooms and work my way to the kitchen, living room, dining room, and then finally the garage. And hopefully, by lunchtime, I will be done and can work on the backyard.

I finally emerged from bed now that I had a plan set. I decided to wear some sweatpants and a sports bra since I live alone. I headed to my bathroom and got ready to clean. Each box was in its respective room, meaning all my shower and hygiene products were still in its box.

”Let’s get this over with I guess.”

Hours passed and I unfortunately wasn’t done unpacking by lunch. I hated being behind schedule. Anything that doesn’t go to plan pisses me off. I shouldn’t have rested yesterday, that’s what the problem was. I was being lazy when usually I'm not. Being behind schedule is my punishment for yesterday. Guess I’m skipping out on lunch.

As I was stocking the bookshelf in the living room, a mysterious number texted my phone. It’s just a scam. I thought and ignored it, not even bothering to read what it said. I don’t need distractions at the moment. I need to get this done before dinner. And guess what. I did.

”That took way too much time.” I noted as I began to prepare dinner. I had sorted everything I needed on the counter so I wasn’t looking for anything.

“Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup… First prep chicken.” I read off the steps to my father’s recipe. As I continued down the recipe, the lights began to flicker. “The hell…?” I listen closely to hear if it is raining outside. It wasn’t.

The power goes out for a whole minute before turning back on. Footsteps from the second floor alerts me that someone else is in the house. I turn off the stove. Damn it… Another interruption. I hastily grabbed the closest knife and crept up the stairs.

I cautiously scanned each room to find the perpetrator. The last room that was left to check was my own. I peer through the semi-opened door to see a man towering over my desk. He seemed to be analyzing a photo of my family.

The way he was dressed made no sense for a burglar. He wore a dark vivid blue tailcoat with golden buttons, a white ruffled muslin shirt and trousers with a pair of black boots.

I cautiously crept up on him with the knife held straight out. I put on my bravest face I could conjure up, despite my frightened state. “Who are you? And why are you in my house?” I demand.

He jumped and dropped the framed photo on the ground. He turns to face me and then the knife. Holding his hands up in surrender, he says, “My name is Alexander Hamilton Jr. ma’am. And I mean no harm for I am afraid I have no clue how I got here.”

“Do you really expect me to believe that?!” I asked angrily.

“I swear on my life. Ma’am, please put the knife down…” he moves his hand out towards me.

“Stay Back!” I swing at him, making a large but not deep cut on his wrist.

”ARGGH!!!” He shouts in pain. “What Was That For?!”

”You were gonna touch me! I don’t like being touched by people I don’t know!”

”Could have said that!” He seethes, using his other hand to try and stop the bleeding. “I was trying to lower the knife. You could have killed me!”

”That would have been the point!” I argue.

I was about to say something else, but the tears forming in his eyes stopped me. He was in a lot of pain by the way he was crouched and hissing in pain. I sigh. “If you really are who you say you are, Alexander…” He looks up at me. “then prove it. Because as far as I know, he is dead.” I point the knife at his throat.

”I am not dead. I had just reached a port in Spain!”

I think for a moment. “What year do you think it is?”

”Judging by how you are inappropriately dressed… Not 1811.” He groans.

”1811… That was over 200 years ago.” I mumble to myself.

”200 YEARS AGO!?!” He shouts. “No. No. No. No. This isn’t real…”

”You're telling me. Time travel doesn’t exist… Or at least I don’t believe it does. Also it clearly is happening if you are bleeding and in pain… But I can pinch you just to be sure.”

He glares up at me. “No. I don’t believe that would be necessary.” Alex gazes around the room before asking me for my name. “It’s only fair if I know your name as well ma’am.

”J’Shawn Murphy. But you can just call me Jay.” I finally lowered the knife. “Follow me. I have some bandages to wrap that cut.” I make my way into the hallway and look back to see he was still in the same spot. “Chop, chop Hammy.” Then I leave.

Alex sat on the couch as I sat on the floor. “OW!! That burns.” He whines.

”Duhh. It's rubbing alcohol. It's meant to burn, otherwise the cut will get infected.” I explain as I continue to clean his cut. I looked up at him and he rolled his eyes with a frown. I smirk.

I then grabbed the bandage wrap. Before I wrapped the wound, I gave it a kiss like a mother does when her child falls and gets a boo boo. As I begin to wrap the wound, he coughs.

”What?” I ask.

”What was that kiss for?”

”You seemed like the kind of person that believed a kiss would heal any wound. Y’know, like when a kid gets hurt and their mother kisses it “better”.” I glance back up at him with a smug look. He looks away, a small blush forming on his cheeks.

”Did not…” he grumbles. I laughed at his reaction as I finished.

”There. All better.” I stand and stretch. “I’m going to put this stuff away and then finish cooking. You can join me if you want, otherwise you can sleep right where you are.”

”Gee… thanks.”

”If you would rather sleep outside with the raccoons and bugs, then please be my guest.” I picked up the first aid kit and placed it back in the drawer under the t.v.

“What are you making?”

”Chicken Noodle Soup. It's my father’s recipe. I promise, it’s delicious.” I head into the kitchen across the hall. I turned the stove back on and continued what I was doing before Alexander arrived.

After about an hour, the soup was ready. The two of us ate in silence. I guess we were both trying to forget the other was there. I for one enjoyed the silence. It helped me organize my thoughts on the events of today and how I was going to plan out tomorrow now that Alexander was in the picture.

”It’s okay Jay…” I whispered. gratefully, Alex didn’t react to it. “Tomorrow is a new day…”

#alexander hamilton jr #hamilton #hamilkids #story writing #storyau #part 1

0 notes

dzpenumbra · 1 year

Text

5/18/23

So... I left the window open night before last. And I was writing last night about how cold it's been getting. And... I think I left it open last night too? Either way... I woke up after about 5 hours sleep and... shit was just off. I couldn't really figure it out. But I felt hungry, so I said fuck it and got up and ate cereal and passed out in the comfy chair. I had a stream on and passed out with earbuds in.

I woke up to a recording of some True Crime thing they were playing on the RP stream. There's this whole PD corruption arc going on, and I'm guessing this streamer was using this as an example for her audience of what real corruption looks like? Either way, I woke up to an actual corrupt cop doing super sketchy shit with a young girl, and real voice recordings and shit... and it pulled me out of sleep. So... not the greatest note to officially start my day on. Adding to that, I physically felt like absolute ass.

I have barely recovered, honestly. Until about 1 or 2AM I have been feeling horrible. At my worst, I popped in my earbuds and had my phone ready to go and spend the night in the bathroom puking. And I mean that. I managed to slowly get food into my system, slow enough that I didn't aggravate the nausea to the point of puking. The nausea is still there a little, but not too bad. It started as serious heartburn and dehydration, and it feels like it's kinda tapering off back into the same shit. So... big-time nausea, what feels like a slight fever, tired. Not a fun day because of that.

I gave myself some slack and let myself just chill and watch the highly anticipated stream I was looking forward to, which did not disappoint. And I popped the heat on, no clue if that is helping too or not.

Luckily, because I started feeling better, I was able to push myself a bit to finish Mod Podging the beads. They're all done now. Now, all I need to do is remember how I was sanding them when I had a really reliable system, and do that tomorrow. I'm pretty sure all I did was pop them on a wooden skewer, dip them in water, then poke the skewer through some Carhartt pants that are too small for me, and slowly spin the bead while gently applying pressure. I remember that working really well, even better than 600 grit sandpaper which was actually tearing off the Mod Podge. So... I'll give that a try tomorrow.

I hope I get rested and feel better tomorrow. I know dreams were a factor yesterday, and stress, but honestly... this kinda just felt like being straight up normal run-down... like the edge of being sick. I had a day like this not long ago, I remember it pretty clearly, just... not how long ago. My big bowl is still out and on standby from that, so it had to be somewhat recently. I got a bit anxious that it might be part of a pattern, this out-of-the-blue run-down, nausea, fever kinda thing. But I was able to keep that anxiety well contained, which is good.

I did skip yoga today, though. So... you know what? I'm gonna go and do like 10 minutes by myself real quick and get a little bit of ice cream after. Fuck it. I was going to call it off, but honestly... Okay, I'm just going for it here. Yoga is not about doing a routine. It's about connecting with your body, syncing, all that. So... ultimately... my goal with yoga is to be able to have enough of an established language with it that I can get on the mat and just... do whatever my body is kinda asking for. Whatever my body needs that day. Like a tune-up. So if I'm feeling like garbage today and I just need to do some gentle easy stuff on just certain parts of my body? That's good. That's not lazy. This isn't training for a fucking triathlon. It's taking care of mind, body and spirit; whatever they may need at that moment. So yeah, I'm gonna do that when I wrap up here.

One last thing that's on my mind. And I'm a little anxious about this one, but... stream of consciousness, so here it is. I read the post of someone I follow on here when I went to write this. If you're reading this, hi! Sorry for not commenting, I got anxious and didn't reply because... I didn't want to be a buzzkill and was afraid I couldn't phrase it properly. They recently set up on TikTok for art stuff. They got hit with DMCA, which I got legit angry about, like... they're doing DMCA on fucking social media now? Like... that isn't even for money... I don't understand how they can make an argument on that one, it's gotten so fucking petty and shameless. It's like no one is even challenging it anymore. ANYWHO. This guy is really talented, and I mean that. Very creative, very original style, very recognizable. I envy how natural his character design is, it's inspiring. He got some traction on TikTok. Like... a very decent amount. And that's a huge rush, and it makes you feel really fucking good about yourself, your creative self. It's a massive affirmation. And in his case, he definitely deserves that! That and more! And... you're waiting for it... the "b-word" is coming... But... That is exactly what TikTok wants you to think and feel.

I know it sounds conspiracy or whatever, but like... it's literally how the app is designed, and there's plenty out there to corroborate this, unfortunately. And I didn't know this until I read a post on an art forum on Reddit about a week ago, and this is apparently commonly known. Your first posts are "boosted", giving you a big jump in algorithm placement. If you don't catch a massive wave there... yeah... So... I wanted to... warn him. Not to kill his buzz, though that likely would be the outcome... but to... god, this is so hard to phrase. To let him know that he is talented, and he should be getting this much attention, but... that a major social media company was essentially creating a false feeling... an illusion... to get him hooked. And it's working. Because just watching it, as a bystander... it's... I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do.

I want to think telling someone that they aren't really getting attention, that it's just a lot of people getting something new forced into their feed and they swipe through it like any other post... I want to think that telling them that is like... merciful, a good thing. Grounding. The truth. But like... it feels like telling a kid Santa isn't real. And I'm not the bad guy here. That fucking company that literally targets children with this system, that shit is fucking evil. It's dirty, man. It fucks with peoples' mental health, their self esteem, their self worth; it's literally designed to do that, to get you excited, to keep you engaged. You give them a huge boost of "I'm popular, people like me, I'm worth something, these people value me!" For like 4 days. Long enough to get them hooked. Then you drop the "training wheels", the artificially inflated views. The viral shit goes viral, the rest... not so much. And then they think... --- and this is why I wanted so badly wanted to reply --- they think it's their fault. They think they've gone from thousands of views to 10 because of a drop in their quality, or a drop in their creativity, like "whoops, had spinach in my teeth during the job interview" kinda thing. And with something as personal as genuine art? Art, of course, being a glimpse into the artist's personal experience of life. Yeah. That is what I was seeing. I was seeing 3-4 days from now, when this poor guy and his legitimately exciting inspiration to do animated storyboards with music - dude, if you're reading this, do it! It's a really cool idea, one that I've wanted to get into but can't keep my attention on it long enough! And if you do, please post them here, or at least link them! - when those posts... that he put a tremendous amount of his heart, soul and labor into... get a fraction of the public response... I just... I know he's going to blame himself. Because if I didn't know this shit about TikTok, I would too. I would do the same thing. "Guess no one gives a shit about this piece, must be something wrong with it." That's not correct. It's just not reaching people who appreciate it.

So yeah, that whole tirade wouldn't fit into a reply, and I didn't want to kill the buzz. I just didn't know how to respond. So I was planning on... if he posts in a few days about how his new projects flopped, to reassure then. As much as I want to... forewarn, to help soften that blow. And hell, maybe he strikes gold, I don't know. I really do wish the best to him on that, he truly does have a lot of talent. But I guess my conscience needed to get that off my chest.

I'm so conflicted on this new habit of like... writing really heartfelt shit to people online in comment sections... and then deleting it and never posting it. It's mostly because I have done it so many times in the past and had it just... go unnoticed. Or even gotten pushback. Because so many idiots are out there literally just looking for a fight. And I just... I want to be careful, and thoughtful. Intentional. And all my intentions are always benevolent, philanthropic, well-meaning. But they aren't always received that way. And... I guess my faith has been a bit wounded as of late. So, to those out there with kind hearts who would not be offended by my input... sorry for assuming. It's my problem, a byproduct of the problems of others, not yours.

Alright, with all that out and done... I'm gonna go do some quick yoga, water my plants, get a quick bite of ice cream and then head to bed. The newest necklace should be done tomorrow (hopefully), I'm very excited!

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

1 note · View note

kabannoneko · 2 years

Text

Post-Return Stream Update

So yeah, we got to stream again yesterday, but there were a few complications. lol I know the term "complications" is a bit too much, but that's what they were, just not that big.

The TV was moved upstairs, so during our stream time, we couldn't do the thing upstairs (we're doing this in secret, our dad just thinks we play games with friends online) Because of that, we moved downstairs in the dining area, where it's unfortunately more public (if we talk loudly, neighbors could possibly hear us, the dog is closer and she barks a lot because of said neighbors, and there's the possibility our dad could walk in on us before ending stream).

In the end, yeah, we got to stream, but we got walked in on. And because of that, we had to mute and end stream.

I doubt our dad would want to move back downstairs, since he doesn't really like how our neighbors (particularly his sister and her husband) talk behind our backs. I wouldn't want us to stay downstairs either, since there's no privacy.

So how to solve it? Would we have to stop streaming/making videos?

And then an idea hit us. Why not use the study desks in our former bedroom?

And so, we fixed it up today with our dad's help, and we're pretty happy about it! We get our privacy, and our dad doesn't have to move the TV back downstairs and watch there.

=====

Okay, now to the main part.

We decided that we'll be changing things for this new year, since we've started thinking more about what we really want to create. And so, we'll be making the following shifts:

We're not gonna do writing streams anymore. It doesn't mean that we won't be writing anymore, it's just that we found that we really are uncomfortable writing in public view, so it would make sense to not do it anymore. We will talk about it sometimes, but we'll keep the act private from now on. And following that, we're dropping the writer tag on Twitch.

We're gonna focus more on the art and learning types of streams instead, and only really do one day of games per week. We're not really a gamer, and we mostly do that for fun. We don't wanna degrade it to just "content", because then it will just feel like work. To make up for the incomplete games though, we're just gonna record instead of stream so we can somewhat showcase them fully without worry of having to progress quickly.

Regarding games... We will be focusing more on the more indie/obscure/old types of games and not so much on the newer stuff unless we really like them. (Like Genshin, but that's something we don't want to stream/record anymore since we're a lazy player lol)

Regarding art/learning streams... Some ideas of ours are: doing stream assets, making doodles, maybe making comics, book reading/book reacts (basically reading with commentary as opposed to just reading or just commentary), video watchalongs/reacts, and study streams (which is kind of apt since we do have a chalkboard theme generally, and we can insert our study for this March's CSE)

We've also been thinking of doing only two streams per week... but that's still up in the air. Right now, we're sticking to three, since we still have the time.

This is not just because we have a clearer idea of what we want to make, but also because we want to improve our YouTube channel as well. So far, we've been posting VODs, but that's not really interesting for us, and it doesn't really reflect what we can really do.

ALSO, we've pretty much dropping marketing ourselves as a vtuber (if ever we really did lol), since we figured, we're not really a vtuber in the sense that we fit with the culture of it. We will, however, still keep the pngtuber tags and stuff since we do still use an avatar.

Then again, we have described ourselves as "dabbling in vtubing" so I guess that was a sign lol. - Kochan

#streaming #streaming updates #content changes #kochan

0 notes

fastlikealambo · 2 years

Text

The Girlfriend: Modern rockstar! Eddie Munson x Black Reader Angst Drabble

Summary:Your relationship with rockstar Eddie Munson goes public and you’re not prepared for what happens next.

Trigger Warnings:bullying, mentions of depression, some gaslighting (not eddie), panic attacks

Minors, dni.

Act One: A list.

10 Celebrities You Didn’t Know Had Non-Famous Significant Others

A blurry shot of you and Eddie at some restaurant, your name spelled wrong. You laughed it off, made jokes about calling your agent sitting on Eddie’s lap while he worked on a new song. Things were good, you had gotten a good job in LA, Corroded Coffin had finished their first big tour.

You only had a few friends on social media then, Eddie, the band, a few family members. You had a shitty phone so half your posts were out of focus anyway.

But you were happy and that’s all that mattered.

Act two: A viral moment.

“Smile princess!” Eddie yelled over the roar of the crowd, a curtain away. You smiled shyly at his phone, the flash in your eyes as you kissed Eddie on the cheek.

“Knock em dead babe.” You whispered in his ear playfully pushing him on stage.

You woke up in Eddie’s arms the next morning to your phone nearly vibrating off the table. It had to be an emergency so you climbed over your sleepy boyfriend in a rush, praying it wasn’t. Instead of a dire text from your parents, you had over 2,0000 notifications. No wonder your phone felt like it was gonna burst into flames.

The first one you clicked on led you to a tagged post of Eddie’s own photo of you both from the previous night but it wasn’t on his instagram or the band’s, just a random account.

“Baby?” You asked the rocker who had finally fully woken up beside you stretching.

“What’s up princess, you want to grab breakfast before I go to the studio?” Eddie asked, a lazy arm pulling you back into bed.

“Did you post that picture of us last night?” You asked, handing him your phone.

“No, I forgot. Did I send it to you?” He asked, hands in his hair.

“No.”

Eddie’s team is there twenty minutes later, talking around you, coming to the conclusion that Eddie’s phone had been hacked or that someone had taken a picture of you two taking the photo, whatever it was you weren’t really listening.

You were going through every single notification, your sudden influx of new followers, scrolling through the comments on what looked like a fan run account for Eddie. You can’t help but look at the comments, most are sweet, remarking about how cute you two looked, how happy you must be, but one comment sticks out first.

corrodedfan45 she’s not that pretty.

Eddie’s face appears in front of you, hand on your thigh.

“You okay? I know it’s a lot at once but it’ll die down after a few days. If it doesn’t, I’ll take care of it, I’ll take care of you, I promise.” Eddie said, pulling you close. Suddenly exhausted, you gave him a small smile, your head on his shoulder.

“I bet it’ll be old news by tomorrow morning.” You said, hopefully, more for Eddie’s benefit than your own but the comment floats through your brain.

She’s not that pretty.

Act Three: A video.

“Storytime guys: I met Eddie Munson’s girlfriend yesterday and let me tell you, she was not worth the hype! I tried to ask her for a photo and get this: she said no and tried to take my phone. Tried to grab it out of my hand, can you believe it? Who does she think she is? Does she not know her job is on google? We know how to handle her, don’t we? If this blows up, I’ll do a part 2-”

The video cuts off and your hands are shaking.

munsongrl9000849: source?

starbyy7873333333: i believe it, her vibes are RANCID

unorvrse69: 🧢🧢🧢🧢🧢

hawkins86: yall see the google reviews, im cackling

rightsideup: he’s a 10 but he’s dating an ugly bitch

You’ve never seen that person in the video in your life, you’ve been working from home for the past two months since too many people kept parking outside your job waiting for you to come out.

Eddie’s on the European leg of his tour, sends you pictures every day, calls you every night but his absence is felt as his pr team talks around you again with your boss included in the conversation.

“I think it might be best if she didn’t work for a while, their finances are good, think of it as a vacation.”

“ The gallery will issue a statement condemning bullying of any kind, it’s being drafted as we speak, she should repost it to her socials tomorrow.”

“Why?” You asked quietly. The team looks up at you as if noticing that you’re there for the first time.

“Why what, hun?” Eddie’s PR manager parrots your question.

“Why do I have to leave my job? I’m good at it, I enjoy working, why do I have to leave?”

“Our business rating has gone down to 1 star overnight, we need to think of the gallery.” Your boss concludes.

“You understand, don’t you? We need to protect Corroded Coffin, Eddie’s brand is on the line here.”

“But who’s protecting me? I have to leave my job, people are lying about me, people are watching me, who in this room right now is looking after me?”

“Oh you poor thing.” Eddie’s PR manager pats your leg in what he thinks passes as sympathy.

“ Are you still taking your meds? The last thing the brand needs is a rehab stint, sweetie. Oh and it’s best if I take that too, we haven’t finished the plan to announce your engagement yet.”

Before you can say another word, your engagement ring is in a baggie, never to be seen again.

“ I can’t wait to take you with me next time, you would love Dublin sweetheart.” Eddie said, spinning the phone around so you can see the view behind him.

“It looks amazing baby, I’m so proud of you.” You said, trying to smile.

“ You alright angel? Did you eat today? You look like you’re coming down with something.”

“ I’m fine baby, don’t worry, just missing you is all. Have a good show tonight.” You said, mustering up a big smile but Eddie’s concerned face doesn’t waver.

“You’d tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?”

“ I would.”

Act Four: A deluge.

ccoffin_56: where’s his fucking gf? why isn’t she supporting him?

vecnasbitch: eddie’s such a sweet bby he needs to listen to us about her

pulluptotheaddy777: #dumpthatbitch

“ That’s it, I’m coming home.” Eddie said the moment you came into view on FaceTime.

“Eddie no, you can’t leave the band like that. Your manager turned off all my socials, I’m fine now.”

“Baby, you’re not fine. Your mom called me, she’s worried about you, I’m worried about you. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have waited this long, I’m on the next flight out of Barcelona.”

“Your manager already released a statement-

“Fuck my manager, I care about you. None of this means shit without you, the tour is done.”

“But-” You don’t finish, as your throat tightens and the tears begin to fall.

“Sweetheart? Come on baby, talk to me.”

“It’s never gonna stop, is it? If you end the tour, they’ll blame me. I can’t go back to work, I can’t leave the house, somebody followed my sister and her kids home the other day, my phone’s basically a brick and I can’t even wear my ring. I don’t blame you, it’s not your fault, but I’m tired and I’m scared, I’m so scared all the time Eddie.” You’re struggling to breathe now, choking on sobs as it all comes out.

“Breathe with me baby, I’m right here. I know you’re scared but you gotta breathe, you’re scaring me angel.” You can hear commotion behind him, bags being zipped up. You take a few deep breaths, trying to get your breathing under control but it’s not working.

“ Sweetheart? Are you still there, answer me!” There’s panic in his voice and you manage to get a few deep breaths in and turn the camera back on you.

“I’m here, I’m okay baby, look don’t leave tour just yet, I’ll think of something, I’ll-”

“The only thing I want you to do is turn off your phone and get some rest. I’ll call you before soundcheck, okay?”

“Okay. I love you Eddie, no matter what.”

“I love you too baby, get some rest.”

You fire off a quick text to your mom and sister, letting them know you’re okay before turning your phone off.

Act Five: A stand.

You’re out of it most of the next day, alternating between sleeping and just laying on the couch with the tv on mute. You must have dozed off again because the next thing you feel is Eddie’s lips on your cheek and hand against your forehead.

“Eddie?” Your eyes fluttered open to see Eddie standing there.

“Hey gorgeous, I missed you.”

“ But what about the tour?”

“You are more important than any tour baby.”

You all but jump into his arms, feeling safe for the first time in a long time. You’re so wrapped up in him you don’t notice at first that’s he’s crying.

“Eddie, what’s wrong?”

“On the ride home, I looked up everything: the comments, the dms, the hate pages, that stupid fucking video. All this time, I thought my team was doing right by me, right by you, but they didn’t do shit. This has been going on since that picture leaked and I left you alone to deal with it. I promised to take care of you, to protect you from this shit, and I didn’t.”

“Eddie, it’s not your fault.”

“ Baby, you’ve been suffering, actually fucking suffering and when I looked into your eyes yesterday, I saw the possibility of losing you to this shit and it fucking terrified me. So this stops, right here and right now.”

“Eddie, what are you doing?”

“What I should have done a long time ago.”

Eddie turns his phone on, slipping it onto the tripod and standing in front of it.

“Hi everyone, it’s me. You’ve probably noticed by now I did not play the Barcelona show today and for that I am sorry. I am also sorry to announce that for me, The Cult of Vecna European Tour has come to an end. No, I have not left the band, there is no drama between any band members and myself, however there is something I need to share.

For the past year and half, my fiancee and her family have become the target of harassment both online and in person. She was left unprotected, her torment swept under the rug in favor of boosting my image on the behalf of my as of right fucking now, former management. If you’re a fan of Corroded Coffin, you know we talk about taking care of each other so how can I get on that fucking stage and say that shit when the love of my life is going through shit nobody should ever have to go through? “

Your phone is blowing up but you don’t take your eyes off Eddie.

“ If you love and respect the band, then you respect our boundaries. Every night we promise you a safe show so in return, you will value our safety and the safety of those we care about or you can simply, get fucked. I know my real fans understand this but if you call yourself a fan of Corroded Coffin and engage in this bullshit, know that you mean nothing to me or the band.

I will be taking a break from music as of right now, please direct any questions to my lawyer Erica Sinclair who will be investigating the harassment of my wife but also the pending charges of fraud performed by my former management. Long story short: leave me and my girl the fuck alone. Eddie out.”

You’re crying so hard you feel Eddie pick you up before you see him, carrying you back to the couch, tightening his hold on you as you allow yourself to fully expel everything that’s been going on with you.

“I’m right here baby and I’m not going anywhere.” Eddie said softly before producing your engagement ring from his pocket and sliding it back on your finger.

Your name trends on Twitter but you don’t see it.

Your face is on the news but you don’t watch it.

It’s just you and him, no noise, just love.

And for right now, that’s enough.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x black!reader #eddie munson x yn #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fic #tw mentions of trauma #tw bullying mention #TW depression #tw panic attack

416 notes · View notes