#I know this might be a buzzkill post but I think it's important not to forget this

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 9

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

The next morning, they had to sit next to each other.

me when i’m a high school junior and had a huge falling out with my best friend who i’m totally not in love with last night but we still have to coexist in ap english class

The joint thrones today were under a silk awning, raised to protect Laurent’s milkmaid skin from the sun.

BRUTAL

Lady Vannes murmuring into the ear of a new female pet

oooooh what happened to the old one? drama alert!!

A part of Damen acknowledged, a little guiltily, that Laurent probably hadn’t deserved to get thrown around the training arena as a result.

laurent would disagree

Nikandros said, without looking next to him, ‘Your uncle has wiped out half of our army with two hundred men.’ ‘And a belt,’ said Laurent.

nikandros private twitter vent #11. incoherent violent stick figure jpegs

Damen said, ‘At least someone else has a chance to win at javelin.’

i understand that people like sports and it’s a fun thing to add to a pretty serious story but i am the buzzkill here and ugh. sports

In the stands, slaves rhythmically raised and lowered fans and brought shallow cups of wine that everyone drank except Laurent.

me getting ginger beer at the bar yesterday while the dude i was with drank an espresso martini and two whiskeys

He came forward naked, as was the custom in Akielos.

i feel like violent dangerous sports are a really good occasion to wear MORE clothing, but go off i guess

The two men scooped oil from the receptacle brought to them by the stewards, anointed their bodies with it, then they slung their arms around one another’s shoulders, and, on the signal, heaved. The crowd cheered, the men grappled, their bodies straining against each other in slippery hold after slippery hold, until Pallas finally had Elon panting, on the grass, the sounds an eruption from the crowd.

this is like the not-evil twin of the veretian court wrestling

Damen rose from the throne, and put his hand to the gold brooch at his shoulder. His garment dropped and the crowd roared its approval.

you know, damen’s lack of freaking out about some of the indignities of the veretian court make more sense now

‘Good fight,’ he said, taking his place again on the throne beside Laurent. He waved over some wine. ‘What is it?’ ‘Nothing,’ said Laurent, and found somewhere else to put his eyes.

hang in there buddy

‘What can we expect next? I really feel,’ said Vannes, ‘it might be anything.’

i love the slight disdain here

‘Who did this to you?’ ‘I did,’ Laurent said. Damen turned. Laurent stood in the entryway of the tent. He was arranged with elegant grace and his lazy, blue-eyed attention was all on Nikandros. Laurent said, ‘I meant to kill him, but my uncle wouldn’t let me.’ Nikandros took an impotent step forward but Damen already had a restraining hand on his arm. Nikandros’s hand had gone to the hilt of his sword. His eyes were on Laurent furiously. Laurent said, ‘He sucked my cock too.’ Nikandros said, ‘Exalted, I beg permission to challenge the Prince of Vere to a duel of honour for the insult that he has done to you.’ ‘Denied,’ said Damen. ‘You see?’ said Laurent. ‘He has forgiven me for the small matter of the whip. I have forgiven him for the small matter of killing my brother. All praise the alliance.’ ‘You flayed the skin from his back.’ ‘Not personally. I just watched while I had my man do it.’ Laurent said it with a fronded, long-lashed gaze. Nikandros looked physically sick with the effort of repressing his anger. ‘How many lashes was it? Fifty? One hundred? He might have died!’ Laurent said, ‘Yes, that was the idea.’

LAMEN HR COMPLAINT #8

god i FUCKING love this little confrontation. i appreciate how we can start easing into some more comedy with these specific characters, because nobody here is like actively enslaved or abused. they’re all on even footing, so shots can be fired for fun, and can be read as such. the analysis here, in short, is that damen and laurent are both insane about each other and nikandros just has to deal with it. laurent thinks it’s amusing to mess with nikandros, and to a lesser degree damen. and damen tolerates it because he knows laurent behind his performative cruelty, but can’t possibly explain that to nikandros. regardless, laurent has immunity from damen, which means he also has immunity from nikandros.

this is also a good way to show how both damen and laurent have started “settling” the matters of damen killing auguste and laurent punishing him in vere, since the last scene where both subjects were heavily referenced.

Angry as he was, Nikandros wouldn’t disobey a direct order. His training was too deeply ingrained.

i like this subtle moment. damen grew up in the same culture, yet one of his main Things in this series has always been disobeying orders he disagrees with. built different!

‘Why would you do that? He’ll defect.’ ‘He’s not going to defect. He is your most loyal servant.’ ‘So you push him to breaking point?’ ‘Should I have told him I didn’t enjoy it?’ said Laurent. ‘But I did enjoy it. I liked it most near the end, when you broke down.’

laurent calculated and performative cruelty to protect himself from being vulnerable, you know the drill by now

‘You didn’t have to come here. You could have sent a messenger.’ In the pause that followed, Laurent’s gaze shifted involuntarily sideways. A strange prickling passing over his skin, Damen realised that Laurent was looking at the polished mirror behind him at the reflection of his scars. Their eyes met again. Laurent wasn’t often caught out, but a single glance had betrayed him. They both knew it. Damen felt the hard ache of it. ‘Admiring your handiwork?’

damen: i know you came here on purpose to spend time with me alone when you totally didn’t have to laurent: [very obviously checks out damen’s bare back, and not just for the symbolism reasons] damen: you want to look at me so bad (because you have an emotional attachment to the marks and you want to torture us both about it, and also because you think i’m hot. in both cases you’re the desperate one here, i win)

‘I’ll join you after I’ve dressed. Unless you want to step closer. You can help stick in the pin.’ ‘Do it yourself,’ said Laurent.

this sounds like their prince’s gambit-era antagonistic, vaguely horny, reluctantly fond banter. we’re getting somewhere!

The fever pitch of the crowd was bloodthirsty. The okton brought that out in them, the danger, the threat of maiming. The second of two targets was hammered onto its struts, and the attendants gave the all clear. In the heat of the day, anticipation was an insect buzz, rising to a commotion on the south-western side of the field.

this is such a fucking terrible idea you are in a WAR. damen you are going to be KING. why are you risking your life to play a sports right now. it would be like if the person about to cure a disease decided to play a game of bowling with a 80% survival rate right before they finished the vaccine

Damen heard the reaction of those around him. The Veretian Prince was, at a glance, Damen’s athletic inferior. Certainly, he avoided the training fields. No Akielon had ever seen him fight, or take exercise. He had not participated in any of today’s contests. He had done nothing more than sit, elegant and relaxed, as now. ‘Veretians do not train in the okton,’ said Damen. ‘In Akielos, the okton is known as the sport of kings,’ said Makedon. ‘Our own King will take the field. Does the Prince of Vere lack the courage to ride against him?’

makedon wants that twink obliterated

Damen waited for Laurent to sidestep, to evade, to find, somehow, the words to extricate himself from the situation. The flags fluttered loudly. The stands were silent, to a man. ‘Why not?’ said Laurent.

FSIUFHSDIUFHSDF i love laurent so much it’s unreal. this is the same response you’d give if a friend asked if you wanted to get takeout on a thursday night. “yeah, why not?” mr. “probably” laurent strikes again

Mounted, Damen faced the course, holding his horse ready at the starting line. His mount shifted, fractious, eager for the horn that would signal his start. Two horses down from his own, he could see Laurent’s bright head.

their horses who are canonically in love with each other get to do homoerotic sports too!!

But the true challenge of the okton was this: if you missed, your spear might kill your opponent. If your opponent missed, you were dead.

i was going to say “thankfully there are no real-life sports that sacrifice the physical well-being and possibly lives of eager-to-impress youths looking for glory and compensation” but then i remembered american college football exists

Laurent could also throw a spear. Probably.

probably.

But all of that meant nothing in the face of the okton. Men died during the okton. Men fell, men suffered permanent injury—from a spear; from hooves after a fall. Out of the corner of his eye, Damen could see the physicians, including Paschal, who waited on the sidelines, ready to patch and sew. There was a great deal at stake for the lives of the physicians, with royalty from two countries on the field. There was a great deal at stake for everyone.

not beating the american college football allegations

Damen could not aid Laurent in the contest.

he’ll kill one of his own people by throwing a sword across a clearing to save his captor in book 2, but he won’t use his kingly authority to say “hey guys maybe let’s not put both of the army’s leaders, one of whom is the love of my life and also my divorced husband, in the hunger games right now”

There was something intellectual in the way he assessed the field, and it set him apart from the other riders. For Laurent, physical pursuits were not instinctive, and for the first time it occurred to Damen to wonder if Laurent even enjoyed them. Laurent had been bookish as a boy, before he had re-formed himself.

“he should be at the (afterschool dungeons and dragons) club”

Laurent dealt with the danger of the okton by simply behaving as though it did not exist.

that tracks externally, but i also think that inside laurent’s brain he does acknowledge it, he just has a precise threshold of acceptable risk

Instinct reacted before thought. The spear was driving towards his chest; Damen caught it out of the air, his hand closing hard around the shaft, the momentum of it wrenching his shoulder back. He absorbed it, tightening his grip with his thighs to keep himself in the saddle.

this would be even more impressive if it was not the solution to a dangerous situation you ACTIVELY MADE HAPPEN

All his attention was on the other spear, flying towards Laurent. His heart jammed in his throat. On the other side of the course, Pallas was frozen. In that stricken moment of choice, Pallas could only decide whether to dodge and risk his cowardice killing a prince, or stand his ground and receive a spear to the throat. His fate was tied to Laurent’s, and unlike Damen, he had no recourse for what to do. Laurent knew it. Like Damen, Laurent had seen it early—had seen the strut collapse, had judged the outcome. In the handful of extra seconds that this afforded him, Laurent acted without hesitation. He released his reins—and as Damen watched, as the spear flew right for him—he jumped, not out of the way, but into the path of the spear, leaping from his horse to Pallas’s, dragging them both to the left. Pallas swayed, shocked, and Laurent bodily kept him down low in the saddle. The spear sailed past them and landed in the tufted grass like a javelin.

an akielion wouldn’t think to do THAT, would they!!

(also, love the little parallel to prince’s gambit, with damen ripping the grate out of the wall and laurent’s meticulous scheming. here it’s not as much a competition as it is a mutual/cooperative victory, with damen stopping the javelin mid-air and laurent intelligently evading the other one headed towards him)

The crowd went wild. Laurent ignored it. Laurent reached down and neatly filched Pallas’s last spear for himself. And, keeping Pallas’s horse at a gallop—as the sounds of the crowd swelled to a crescendo—he threw it, sending it flying right into the centre of the final target. Completing the okton one spear ahead of Pallas and of Damen, Laurent drew his horse up in a little circle, and met Damen’s gaze, his pale brows rising, as if to say, ‘Well?’ Damen grinned. He hefted the spear he had caught, and from where he was on the far side of the course, threw; let it go sailing over the full, impossible length of the field, to thunk into the target alongside Laurent’s spear, where it rested, quivering. Pandemonium.

they are both That Bitch. perfect for each other, and now everyone knows it (kinda) <3

After, they crowned each other with laurels.

cute

There was a warmth in his chest whenever he looked at Laurent. He didn’t look often for that reason.

Their men would ride out unified, and if there was a crack down the centre, no one knew about it. He and Laurent were good at pretending.

no they’re not. they’re just becoming more entertaining and endearing than annoying and frustrating, so people are more likely to listen to them

Laurent took his place on one of the lounging couches like he was born to it. Damen sat alongside him.

and all was right with the universe

The whole room went silent. Makedon and Laurent faced one another. The silence stretched out. ‘You have the mind of a snake,’ Makedon said. ‘You have the mind of an old bull,’ said Laurent. They stared at one another. After a long moment, Makedon waved at the slave, who came forward with a fat-bellied bottle of Akielon spirits and two shallow cups. ‘I will drink with you,’ said Makedon.

i love this unlikely friendship. laurent is being socialized like a feral kitten

Laurent glanced at the wine that the slave had poured, and Damen knew with absolute certainty that if it was wine, Laurent wasn’t going to drink. Damen braced himself for the moment when every scrap of goodwill that Laurent had garnered for himself was thrown away—as every tenet of Akielon hospitality was insulted, and Makedon swept forever out of the hall. Laurent picked up the cup in front of him, drained it, then returned it to the table. Makedon gave a slow nod of approval, lifted his own cup, downed it. And said, ‘Again.’

extremely loud airhorn goes off SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

Later, when a great many overturned cups scattered the low table, Makedon leaned forward and told Laurent he must try griva, the drink from his own region, and Laurent downed it and said it tasted like swill, and Makedon said, ‘Ha, ha, true!’ Later, Makedon told the story of his first games, when Ephagin won the okton, and the bannermen grew misty-eyed, and everyone had another drink. Later, everyone roared when Laurent was able to balance three empty cups on top of each other, while Makedon’s cups fell over.

is this just what frat parties are like?

Laurent maintained a scrupulous posture until they were all gone, his eyes dilated, his cheeks slightly flushed. Damen spread his arm over the back of his own seat and waited. After a long moment, Laurent said, ‘I’m going to need some help standing up.’

i love that damen just Waited. he knew. he wanted laurent to admit it. they’re so funny

He wasn’t expecting to receive Laurent’s full weight, but he did, a warm arm slung around his neck, and he was suddenly breathless with the feeling of Laurent in his arms. His hands came up to steady Laurent’s waist, his heart behaving strangely. It was sweetly, impossibly illicit. He felt the ache in his chest. Damen said, ‘The Prince and I are retiring,’ and waved the lingering slaves out. ‘It’s this way,’ said Laurent. ‘Probably.’

‘Is today the first time you’ve been beaten in an okton?’ ‘Technically, it was a draw,’ said Damen. ‘Technically. I told you I was quite good at riding. I used to beat Auguste all the time when we raced at Chastillon. It took me until I was nine to realise he was letting me win. I just thought I had a very fast pony. You’re smiling.’ He was smiling.

drunk laurent happily telling damen about auguste :’) also the “you’re smiling” is so adorable, i love how we’re getting some dorky soft laurent finally. he contains multitudes. this, like, “suddenly aware that he’s being cute and appreciated for it, slightly indignant but also allowing it because it’s damen who thinks he’s cute” thing is wonderful and tbh i hope i can someday allow myself to be like that too :)

‘Am I talking too much? I can’t hold alcohol at all.’ ‘I can see that.’ ‘It’s my fault. I never drink. I should have realised I’d need to, with men like these, and made an effort to . . . build up some sort of tolerance . . .’ He was serious. ‘Is that how your mind works?’ said Damen. ‘And what do you mean, you never drink?

drunk laurent is so funny. and i love how damen is amused, endeared, and absolutely fascinated by the inner workings of this man. me too.

also, it's insane that laurent would ever ask if he's talking too much. taking too much is like his entire thing

side note: this is 100% how i am when i use any kind of mind-altering substances, like a sedative before a root canal. i remember detailing how i felt in my notes app at the time and then reading it later and being both impressed by the determination to remain incoherent and amused by the inserted notes of “why am i laughing” “why is everything funny”

You were drunk the first night I met you.’ ‘I made an exception,’ said Laurent, ‘that night. Two and a half bottles. I had to force myself to get it down. I thought it would be easier drunk.’ ‘You thought what would be easier?’ said Damen. ‘“What”?’ said Laurent. ‘You.’ Damen felt the hairs rise over his whole body. Laurent said it softly, and as though it was obvious, his blue eyes a little hazy, his arm still around Damen’s neck. They were gazing at one another, halted in the half-light of the passage. ‘My Akielon bed slave,’ said Laurent, ‘named for the man who killed my brother.’

“no shit, i got drunk”

It wasn’t unusual for two young men to wander the halls together, swaying, after a revel—even among princes—and Damen could pretend for a moment that they were what they seemed to be: brothers in arms. Friends.

you guys got publicly married-divorced and laurent told an entire army that you fucked each other multiple times. you wear matching arm cuffs. even your horses are in love. be so serious rn

The guards on either side of the entrance were too well trained to react to the presence of royalty leaning all over each other.

They Pretend They Do Not See It (not an HR complain bc they’re not really bothering anyone or breaking rules)

‘No one is to enter,’ Damen ordered the guards. He was aware of the implication—Damianos entering a bedchamber with a young man in his arms and ordering everyone out—and he ignored it. If Isander suddenly had a startling reason why the frigid Prince of Vere had foregone his services, so be it.

oh nooooo what a shame if isander backed off from your man, what an unintended and unfortunate consequence, oh nooooooo

Laurent, intensely private, would not want his household present while he dealt with the effects of a night’s worth of drinking.

just got a vision of laurent as heather chandler in the hangover/death scene. wearing that cunty little robe and talking shit

Laurent was going to wake with a blinding headache fuelling his corrosive tongue, and pity anyone who ran into him then. As for Damen, he was going to give Laurent a push in the small of his back and send him staggering the four steps to the bed. Damen unlooped Laurent’s arm from his neck, disengaged himself. Laurent took a step under his own power, and lifted a hand to his jacket, blinking. ‘Attend me,’ Laurent said, unthinkingly. ‘For old time’s sake?’ said Damen. It was a mistake to say that. He stepped forward and put his hands on the ties of Laurent’s jacket. He began to draw the ties from their moorings. He felt the curve of Laurent’s ribcage as the tie threaded through its eye. The jacket tangled at Laurent’s wrist. It took some effort to get it off, disordering Laurent’s shirt. Damen stopped, his hands still inside the jacket.

:)

Under the fine fabric of Laurent’s shirt, Paschal had bound Laurent’s shoulder to strengthen it. He saw it with a pang. It was something Laurent would not have let him see sober, a keen breach of privacy. He thought of sixteen spears thrown, with a constant effort of arm and shoulder, after rough exertion the day before.

fuck, that’s right. damn laurent

Damen took a step back, said: ‘Now you can say you were served by the King of Akielos.’ ‘I could say that anyway.’

he may be white girl wasted but he’s still our laurent

Lamp-lit, the room was filled with orange light, revealing its simple furnishings, the low chairs, the wall table with its bowl of fresh-picked fruit.

this time, the fruit basket guy just showed the kitchen staff a bunch of ao3 fics tagged “in vino veritas” and told them to make it work

Laurent was a different presence in his white undershirt.

makes him sound like a cryptid. blonde man jumpscare

They were gazing at each other.

we know.

‘I miss you,’ said Laurent. ‘I miss our conversations.’

he would not have admitted this under torture

(also, i really like how he misses their conversations first and foremost. laurent really does love damen for his mind and heart, more than anything else. damen is the same, but he's a lot more vocally into the other parts of laurent too)

It was too much. He remembered being strapped to the post and half killed; sober, Laurent had made the line very clear, and he was aware that he had crossed it, they both had.

damen is still afraid to potentially take advantage of laurent, especially because of what happened the first time laurent interpreted his advances in such a light (ow)

‘You’re drunk,’ said Damen. ‘You’re not yourself.’ He said, ‘I should take you to bed.’ ‘Then, take me,’ said Laurent.

Laurent lay where Damen put him, on his back in a half-open shirt, his hair tumbled, his expression unguarded. His knee was pushed out to the side, his breathing was slow as one in sleep, the thin fabric of his shirt lay against his skin, rising and falling with it. ‘You don’t like me like this?’

first thing, good for him. second thing, not good for him, because trauma, and the fact that he sees himself as a sexual object (i went a lot more into this during the chapter 7 re-analysis)

‘You’re really . . . not yourself.’ ‘Aren’t I?’

i do think damen means this as a “you could punish me for taking advantage,” but i also think there is the fact that damen doesn’t want a version of laurent who isn’t in his right mind (like slaves, who aren’t given the ability to have minds of their own). this calls back to the whole “you like it simple” thing in chapter 7, and it’s pretty satisfying to see damen prove laurent wrong!

‘I tried to kill you. I can’t seem to go through with it. You keep overturning all my plans.’

said with hearts in his eyes <3

Damen found a water pitcher and poured water into a shallow cup that he brought to the low table by Laurent’s bed. Then he emptied the fruit bowl of fruit and put it on the floor alongside, to be used as a drunk soldier might use an empty helmet.

THEY WORKED HARD ON THAT THEMATICALLY RELEVANT FRUIT BASKET >:( although perhaps this is its true thematic relevance? a means of damen helping laurent care for himself in recovery?

‘Laurent. Sleep it off. In the morning, you can punish us both. Or forget this ever happened. Or pretend to.’ He did all of this quite adeptly,

at least he’s getting more self-aware about his own blind spots, or at least his ability to have them

Laurent, falling through scattered thoughts into sleep, said, ‘Yes, uncle.’

i think this line honestly might have been a step too far. not necessarily because it’s a bad thing for laurent to say, i get that it makes sense for him to associate this kind of vulnerability with [redacted], and it’s even possible that laurent doesn’t drink now because the regent got him drunk before he [redacted].

why i think it miiiiiiight not work, is the fact that damen doesn’t oh fuck wait i JUST made note of a line where damen acknowledges how he can “quite adeptly” ignore things, literally a few sentences ago. i can’t even say he would have noticed, or made note of it, because that is his character. and the irony is like right there on the page. it’s frustrating to read, but it’s an intentional choice. well played as usual!

[variousqueerthings]

i went and read through all the scorecards and commentary you’ve written so far, and i just have to comment that i think you’ll have a much better time rewatching twelve’s era - it’s got its own problems, of course, but it’s such a breath of fresh air. i think m*ffat actually took some of people’s biggest criticisms of s5-7 to heart - the hamfisted sexiness is toned way down, and he did away with the whole “the doctor is the center of the universe and the most specialest guy ever” angle almost entirely. honestly, i almost have a hard time believing both eras were written by the same person.

hahaaa thank you, and idk why the below got so long, when your ask was relatively simple, blame it on the hyperfixation!

I acknowledge I tend to write m*ffat (mainly because im not trying to put stuff in tags to be a buzzkill but also as a joke about censoring him), but I do think he got... better

in the sense that he was overall less sexist and more character-driven later on and seems to have really run with a lot of what people wanted set up in terms of genderbending Timelords and queer lead characters, although I am finding s6 has some really good stuff... not.... his episodes so much lol...... but I'm liking it more than s5 which runs contrary with my assumptions/memory of his era, which is pleasantly surprising

I don't think he's egregious in the way writers like, say, Joss Whedon were, I've not heard stories of him being an asshole on set (except for that one story about him throwing a hissyfit about not getting the horse through the mirror in GitF back in s2), which may just be me missing stuff, so can let me know, BUT... nothing I know of. and while he's said some... Highly Dubious Shit About Women Especially and also asexuality, I genuinely think he's been working on some of those biases and fucking nonsense

we went from the Doctor kissing a lesbian without her consent to Bill Potts (who has some flaws -- the fat joke I've been seeing mentioned on Tumbls, the somewhat off-centre flirtation with the one-night stand she doesn't get to have that seems more like it comes from girl-on-girl porn than like a way lesbians might speak with one another)

from writing Rants about the dullness of asexuality that assumed a cis- and heteronormative perspective of the Doctor (he's a bloke of course he'd want to have sex was a lot of the Vibes of it) to in a "confused but got some of the spirit" writing about how the Doctor wouldn't understand human definitions of sexuality and monogamous relationship structures (there's a post about that somewhere in the depths of my blog @fabiansociety made some excellent points)

from describing the original first casting for Amy as "wee and dumpy" to... well, actually can we have some clarification there sir, also the shit you said about Karen Gillen basically just being cast because she was hot (I'm not saying I am super Yay Moffat after all), but at least toning down the sexy sexy talk on the show from what you say!

also maybe a smallish thing, and idk how much power he had and and and, buuut I appreciate how he went from the way he talked in GiTF about how Reinette was "worthy" of the Doctor because she was cultured and educated and whatnot... when Rose is literally the companion of the season and semi-textually Created Ten (regardless of youknow, reads of the relationship and all that, definitely important to the narrative and the Doctor), to having Rose appear as The Bad Wolf in the 50th anniversary special... haunting the naaarrative baybey

and I remember feeling like "Missy" when introduced was just a rehash of River Song rehash of Irene Adler (or whatever way around those characters existed) but then Gomez is actually amazing as The Master, to the point that she's the Number One thing I remember from that era of the show

and he's not an asshole about trans people, which, low bar perhaps, but not in this flipping country, especially not saying so out loud, which, like... Doctor Who is a big deal in this country and RTD is obviously a big ol' queer who's been yelling from the rooftops from Day One, but to not just have it be him, to have a cultural institution firmly in our corner, it's good feeling-wise, and Moffat is a part of that too

and what you're saying, which I cannot quite remember the details of but will eventually reach, the pivot from how the Doctor is portrayed in the Eleven arc vs the Twelve arc, and what the core of that story is, and the glory of Capaldi!

the limitations of this praise then come in the fact that he was learning this stuff while running two of the biggest British institutions, a version of Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Who, and so the above Things that he was a dick about, alongside the mocking of fandom during Sherlock and the weird "queer but not queer" stuff with Sherlock/Watson (look, the fucking... BBC marketed it through the lens of a ship, and then there was a whole idk... campaign to make fandom seem weird and over-invested, and then of course Sherlock actually sucked as a show for so many reasons...) means that he's managed to be a prat in real time and it's meant that what should have been fun engagement in storytelling wasn't so much for many of us wincing through the shit he was saying and writing in his shows

... that time he was like "people are accusing me of being sexist, but I love strong, sexually confident women who can step on me, and having a dominatrix kink that I'm projecting onto my female characters onscreen is the opposite of sexism actually Check Mate" (that paraphrasing was mean, sorry not sorry, but also.... I could find the quote or just a handful of handy videos that have aaaaalll of the quotes... because they were happening.... in national newspapers and in interviews and panels and twitter and.... like.... not in private... there's more I'm vaguely remembering but not sure enough to just throw out there, so yeah... but he did not shut up!)

also I will never think he's a good writer so much as Very good at thinking up cool concepts that others might be able to run with or work with him on, and he should never ever be left to his own devices and encouraged to do whatever he wants (... Sherlock..... Jekyll.... from what I've heard, Inside Man....) AND I think generally and hope that RTD2 is going to be about heralding in the next gen of creators, including perhaps... a future showrunner who didn't grow up when Classic!Who was in its infancy (I don't mean that as a diss, I just mean that we've had three of those showrunners so far), and perchance isn't a cis man, because I think a lot of cool shit that could have been better might have been if moffat wasn't learning the ABC's of third wave feminism at the same time

Gosh and he's the least sexy writer I have ever come across... maybe not ever, but considering how confident he was being about allosexual alloromantic Doctor, that man is as sexy as getting slapped by a wet fish (unless you're into that, in which case insert something else here)

ALL OF THIS TO SAY... yeah, I'm excited for Twelve. and I'm enjoying Eleven more by watching the way I'm watching and being able to set criteria for worse and for better!

[gothgalpumpkin]

Nah, bc I have tingz to say about Halloweentown!

I'll start off saying that I wouldn't really want a re-write or a reboot or something like that, but the way it could have been spread out was a missed opportunity I'll always lament on. What do you mean Gal? I'm glad you asked ghost in my corner! I mean to say that HT really could have been the Cromwell series and not just about my gurl Marnie. But instead ALL of the Cromwell children and their relations with magic and the magic worlds.

(Is she about to go into a tangent? Yes, yes she it)

Let's talk about little Sophie. Movie one demonstrates just how much more powerful she was to Marnie with her being much younger and already using magic without her knowledge. Now the argument could be that its just how all the children were since at that age of course they wouldn't know how to control their magic. However, never once was it mentioned either offhandedly or directly that Marnie or Dylan also experienced such a thing. Perhaps they did, but for argument sake, I'm only using the facts shown in the movies and the fact is, Sophie wanted that cookie and gonna get that cookie 🍪. All that being said, I wish we got more of Sophie and that struggle of obviously being the Family's prodigy but being overlooked by Aggie's favoritism towards Marnie (*I'll be going over this much much later in a different post 👀).

Perhaps we could have seen the fear that she'll never be as good as Marnie despite being stronger and since she's not getting that same level of training, Sophie might fear that her abilities will diminish instead of flourish into the Witch we all know she could be. I think the third movie should have been more about Sophie and that internal struggle of knowing deep down she's naturally stronger, but could never measure up to Aggie's high expectations. I'm not saying I'd like to see Sophie suffer or turn "Evil" but I'd love to see the turmoil that would arise from that internal struggle and how she views her relationships with her grandma and Marnie. Maybe she sees Aggie the way that her mother sees Aggie, maybe Sophie gets Gwen a little deeper. Maybe she understands Dylan in a way that makes Sophie a bridge between him and Marnie.

Speaking of Dylan. My poor boy, Dylan. OK, where to start. Oh, I know! (Bit of a rant incoming) How about the blatant disrespect for his boundaries and preferences? How many times has he stated he doesn't want to identify as a Warlock or that he doesn't feel comfortable with Magic to begin with? Since movie one this man has stated that he didn't like magic and that's more of a science guy. Cool, that's cool right? Nope, not for Marnie and Aggie apparently.

Yes, we all know that Dylans isn't the strongest warlock and that's because he has successfully locked it away within himself, that's his prerogative, he's happier with the "Normies" he's comfortable. Yet time and time again he's pushed into uncomfortable situations for the sake of Marnie's comfort (end of rant). Dylan is a muti-layered character that's actually very complex, however the story seems to continue this one note narrative of him being the "buzzkill" the "party-pooper" the one always complaining about having an amazing gift. But what may be a gift to you can be a curse to someone else. To Marnie, discovering that she's (genetically and historically) special was one of the greatest days of her life while simultaneously, it was crushing to Dylan. That gap of weirdness to normalcy has just widened and now its not as simple as being an outcast (for early 2000s standards lol) but it's inherently linked within. To Dylan, he knows he could never really be normal. Like Sophie, we really needed to see that turmoil played out without it being a joke because after the first and second movies, it's not funny anymore. He's not Marnie, he doesn't see Magic as a deep fundamental part of his being.

Can you imagine the feeling of being told your family name is important enough that it links to the founding of an entire world and that very world expects so much from you, but you don't have the drive to deliver? And why should you, it's just a name, right? You didn't choose to Heir from greatness, why is there so much pressure to do what you don't want to? That's what I think rings through Dylan. Because even in a place of Monsters and ghouls and magic, he's still the outcast. A Cromwell who doesn't have the ambition to become as great as their line before them? It's unheard of, it's strange. So, something must be wrong with them right? I think the fourth movie (we will FOREVER ignore HT4, what HT4?!) Should haven been about Dylan and his full acceptance as he is without the influence of his family. I think it should have been him going to a college of his own choosing (bc why would you make one child attend the same college as the other child just to keep an eye on them – uh, huh!?) we watch him find his footing and meets another witch/warlock who also finds mortal normalcy comforting. I think if he finds people like him who validates his feelings Dylan would be able to come to terms with so many internal struggles that be has such as he quiet resentment towards Marnie and Aggie. I think at even at a young age, Dylan truly understood Gwen and that's why he was always on her side with everything (also bc he's a mama's boy. Let's be real ✨️).

Often times I just that there were several missed opportunities for flesh out these characters and their importance in the world of Halloweentown and how they each interacted with their magical roots and culture.

I want to talk about Gwen as well, but I think that deserves its own post so I'll be doing another long one on her (and Aggie). But I will say you do look at things from her perspective as an adult in comparison as a child. I actually feel sort of sad for her, but I'll get into it soon. I have so many things to say about Halloween town and alot of the old 2000s disney spooky movies we grew up with and how they connect. I did an entire video on TT on how I believe HT and nightmare before Christmas is connected which I'll be placing here but in a more written cohesive format.

That's all I have for now, there's still so much i want to talk about, I'll be back soon 🖤

[strangertheory]

We can't know what we don't know.

The value of skepticism in fandom discourse

I worry that the Stranger Things fandom often allows the development of fan-canons and false absolutes in between seasons that might be destructive to certain fans' long-term enjoyment and appreciation of the series.

We can't know what we don't know.

And if we forget this and begin to construct expectations for what might happen next in the story that are too deeply rooted in our hearts: we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and this is not the fault of the Duffer Brothers or the writing team. This is our fault as individuals and as a community.

Stranger Things has three completed seasons, a fourth season currently in production, and an intended fifth and final season.

We are only a little beyond the halfway point in this larger story.

The halfway point.

A lot can happen in the span of two final seasons.

The writing team probably intends to maintain thematic and narrative intentions across all five seasons. The Duffer Brothers have spoken of having an ending in mind for the story for a long time. (”We’ve known the ending for a while.” - Matt Duffer) But we, the fans, cannot truly know what those plans are until the credits roll on the final episode of the final season.

And yet there is a stubborn certainty that many fans engage in between seasons and that I worry has been growing and spreading worse than usual during season 4′s production delays.

In spite of having only just surpassed the middle point of a story arc that’s being told over the span of five seasons, many fans declare that they "definitely know" that certain relationships between characters won't change. That certain characters will "definitely" survive. That certain rumored future story arcs (based on audition tapes, fan speculation, interviews with the cast) will "definitely happen." That certain characters are "definitely straight" or that certain characters are “definitely gay.”

I believe that there is value in seeking to understand and predict events in a story. Appreciating the way that skilled storytellers use foreshadowing, symbolism, narrative parallels, metaphor, lighting and camera angles, music, and other creative tools when putting together a show like Stranger Things is thrilling. I love debating the relevance of certain details to an author’s larger intentions and long-term vision for their story and characters. I believe that skilled writers should plant clues throughout the earlier moments in a narrative so that plot twists are surprising and yet also also have us slapping our knees declaring “Oh, look! All the signs were there from the beginning! Well played.” Some writers start off without a particular end-goal in mind and allow the characters to lead them there as they develop, however we know that this is not entirely the case for the Duffer Brothers and that they have an ending in mind that they have been building towards.

Authors can also make poor writing decisions that contradict the internal logic and implications of their own universe. Writers and creative teams are not infallible. Productions have constraints and behind-the-scenes pressures, challenges, and limitations that might sometimes result in a less cohesive narrative. I don't believe that's the case with Stranger Things but this can and does happen.

But I always keep in mind that this story is not mine. I am fully capable of being incorrect in my analysis and predictions regarding what might happen next.

My theories and predictions (that Mike has romantic feelings for Will, and that Stranger Things is perhaps intended to be about a dissociated system and internal worlds etc.) are not shared by the majority of the fan community. 

I question the logic of my thoughts constantly because I am prompted to do so any time I share my unusual theories and ideas with other fans. Because my ideas are strange and less popular I am well aware of my need to provide evidence and logic when offering them to other fans for consideration.

If your ideas regarding what is happening in Stranger Things are shared by the majority of fans: how often do you question your expectations?

Do you think that you question them often enough? Are you allowing yourself to become complacent and to assume that because a large majority of your fandom community agrees with your interpretation of certain plot-points and characters that you absolutely must be correct in your understanding of Stranger Things?

I have seen how emotionally attached many fans are to their own preferred understanding of the story. Many fans greet alternative understandings that conflict with their own ideas with a lot of hostility and protest.

I want to warn all fans against closing their imaginations off to the story taking a different route than what they’ve carved into their hearts.

Fans that like less popular ships or that indulge in the discussion of fringe hypotheticals and unique theories are second-guessing and questioning themselves every day and I think for that reason we are better prepared for disappointment than fans that have allowed themselves to believe in characters, ships, and plot-points being “definite” or “canon” or “endgame” simply because the majority of other fans share (and reinforce) those same assumptions.

I worry when I see large fan-made accounts on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Tumblr that post a constant stream of content that reinforces very specific fan-canons that are not yet absolute and yet are still favored and embraced as inevitabilities.

Do fans truly believe that nothing might surprise them in the last half of the story? Do fans believe that we know everything about these characters, their relationships with one another, and this sci fi universe by this point in the show? Does this attitude seem reasonable?

The constant consumption of our favorite fan-cams, fanart, and fan-canons creates echo chambers reinforcing our current assumptions about characters, character relationships, and presumed future plotlines. Just because a fan-run Stranger Things account with over a million followers posts about a specific ship constantly and this is what you are seeing on your phone every morning it doesn’t mean that this account knows what is going to happen in the story any more than you do. We need to be wary of allowing ourselves to lose our objectivity and our awareness that this story is in the hands of the Duffer Brothers and the Stranger Things writing team and that nothing that fans expect (or, god forbid, rudely demand) is guaranteed. The twisted idea that creators are in any way obligated to pander to their current fanbase is absurd to me when you consider that this is their creation, and additionally when you consider that the series will exist for future fans long after the majority of current fans abandon it. 

I want the entire Stranger Things fandom to enjoy the journey, to enjoy uncertainty, and to look forward to finding out what happens next. I don’t want fans setting themselves up for disappointment by stubbornly insisting that their interpretation of what is happening in the story is absolutely correct when the story is not over yet.

If the Stranger Things fan community can allow itself to be open to being wrong I think we will all enjoy the story a lot more and continue enjoying the story no matter what. The creators behind Stranger Things are very talented and I believe they are telling a very well-crafted story. I only hope that the fandom will appreciate it and that we haven’t stubbornly built walls around our own desires that will prevent us from enjoying an excellent story if it contradicts our expectations in the next few seasons.

I know that if I look forward to the thrill of discovering something new about my favorite characters in future seasons that I will rarely be disappointed.

I hope we all continue opening new curiosity doors and try to avoid setting our hearts on specific expectations.

[ganymedesclock]

your posts kind of give me the vibe of someone who would, if Lord of the Rings is something in your wheelhouse, have a lot to say about that one scene where the prose mourns the death of a soldier and muses how he was no less devoted to his cause, and what lies might have sent him to die far from home, and the horrors of war and the evils of the need to control?? (I say this because that's a BIG vibe for me and it struck me as something of interest for you?)

You know I have never properly read LOTR, although I think I perhaps ought to at some point because it seems like as a classic/codifying story in a genre I'm very fond of it would be if nothing else good for me, like health food.

That particular scene, I have heard about secondhand, and I think that is a big thing I try to do with a lot of my writing- I always try to think about how a character got where they are. And the truth is, while not every person who chooses destructive behavior has a convenient, sad story that you can unspool softly in your hands (and far more often we will never be given the satisfaction of knowing definitively why someone hurt us), in many situations- war among them- there are few good answers for why an individual person stands as The Enemy.

I think that if there's one thing a lot of fantasy, especially fantasy partially inspired by or codified through video games and tabletop- which are both, to be clear, things I care deeply about- is the usage of The Enemy as a form of power fantasy. I call this often the Goblin Problem, because it's one thing that Goblins get conceptually used for a lot.

Basically, you want your heroes to fight enemies. Enemies that are armed, and can set traps. Basically, enemies that are unambiguously sapient- but the catch is you don't want your heroes to be seen as killing another person, even in self-defense. Cue the goblin- somehow able to do things that require sapience, but conveniently never person enough to require dignity or grieving. And many people besides me have raged against that for a long time, and many other people defend it.

The matter, as I understand it, is that adversaries, monsters, encounters, whatever you want to call them- feel good. We like to feel accomplished. We like to fight things. I'll admit it, I can turn on Dead Cells and turn my brain off a little and smash through a whole buncha zombies and it makes the brain chemicals go brrrr just as much as it does for anyone else. Replacing every single one of those instances as it lies with a ruminative experience about the futility of war and the dignity of others doesn't always work. It doesn't! I'll admit that.

But I think it's absolutely, genuinely important to think about the critical relationships you have with others. In Dead Cells, it feels very fun to play as Prisoner. But the game is littered with strategic buzzkills where you're reminded that the reason why you're guiltlessly mulching through all of these guys is they're former people infected beyond salvation and the nature of the situation, aside from giving you a free license to be extremely violent, is sisyphean- you really cannot affect these people in any way that matters, you cannot make the situation better, you can't even really escape the time loop your character is living in. Prisoner isn't triumphantly conquering zombies because he's a Cool Dude- he's, well, a desperate prisoner lashing out.

I think that it's not inherently evil to put enemy characters to block your heroes way- but, as a neurodivergent person who has always been told it's my job to seem approachable or understandable to others, I guess I've always felt a little uneasy that in fiction, most of the times, if there's a good guy goblin the burden is on them to prove their humanity to the Real Folks- and if they don't, well, they deserve being used for XP grinding right.

[ptergwen]

heartbreaker

warnings: angst, swearing, drinking, and smut OK WOW

summary: never have i ever with your ex and current boyfriends is an interesting experience

a/n: excuse me for taking such a long ass time on this but super big shoutout to whoever requested it for being patient <3 i’ve been trying to write what y’all would actually be interested in so don’t be shy tell me what you want to read!! also italics are flashbacks and as always i hope everyone enjoys hehe

-

“never have i ever...” harry purses his lips and looks around at your table, “cheated on schoolwork. successfully.” everyone easily takes a sip of their beers, except harrison. you snort and tilt your bottle to where he’s sitting across from you.

“haz, how are you the only one?” “because this div used to copy all my shit in year eleven, and i’d be the one to get in trouble for it.” he elbows tom’s side, tom nudging him back. “should’ve turned yours in first, bro.” rolling his eyes, harrison bends the rules of the game by sipping his drink.

their silly bickering makes you realize how much you’ve missed hanging out with the boys like this. it makes you realize you how much you’ve missed the boys in general. the last time you even saw tom, really saw him, was for a catch up lunch. you had to rush it because he was in between onward press junkets.

before that was the day he left to film cherry, almost a year ago. it’s not at all something you like to remember. dwelling will just set you back, and you’ve come too far to let that happen. as far as one can go when the person they gave their whole heart to breaks it.

now you have luke, and tom has anyone in the world he wants. it’s a new relationship. you’ve only been seeing luke for about three months. you met him while buying some post-breakup ice cream. he randomly started a conversation with you on the line. you bonded over your hatred for chocolate and ended up trading numbers. since you’re slowly getting more serious, you invited luke to the pub tonight.

the meet the friends stage is an important one, and it’s not often that one of your closest would be available for it. tom’s thoughts and opinions still mean a lot to you. you’ll always love him, even if it’s not in the same way you once did. you know he’ll always love you right back. that’s why he did what he did in the first place. that’s what he told you, at least.

you spot luke searching for your table in the pub not too much later. sitting up straighter for him to see you, you wave him over. none of the boys knew that he was coming tonight, so you’re a bit nervous about what they might say. you just hope they’ll like each other as much as you like all of them.

“hey, y/n.” luke leans down and kisses your cheek. you smile up at him, scooting over in the booth to give him room to sit. you’re in between him and tom now. it’s pretty metaphorical if you think about it. “hi. good day?” “yeah, and super busy. i’m luke,” he reaches out his hand for any of the boys. harrison gives him a friendly shake. you haven’t noticed the way tom has been looking at you this whole time.

it’s like he wants to say something, but he’s biting his tongue.

harry shakes luke’s hand, then tom. he uses a firm grip paired with his signature lips pressed together smile. “good to meet you, man. what do you do again?” “i’m in journalism, so mostly chase people around all day.” tom clicks his tongue in a way that sounds like he approves. you’re not exactly sure what’s going through his head at the moment, but it seems to be good things so far.

“he’s just taking the piss. your writing is seriously amazing, luke. don’t downplay it.” you lean into the arm he outstretches across the back of the booth. he lets his hand move to your shoulder and pulls you in closer.

tom stares down at the floor. his leg bounces next to yours, one of his nervous habits you’ve become familiar with. picking up on his brother’s mood change, harry clears his throat to change the subject.

“let’s keep playing never have i ever. we were enjoying that earlier.” “great, i’ll go get everyone another round,” harrison volunteers himself and takes off for the bar. that was obviously his way of escaping the sudden awkwardness that came about.

you tap tom’s foot lightly with your own, making him look up at you. “doing okay over there?” “‘’m fine. my jetlag picked a bad time to act up, is all,” he lamely excuses himself and shifts the tiniest bit away from you.

you’ve seen jetlagged tom plenty of times, and this isn’t him. something else is clearly on his mind. you’d call him out on it and have a heart to heart, but it isn’t your place to do that anymore. you’re both still adjusting to the whole friends thing. it’s going to take time to get back to how close you were, especially with different boundaries in place.

harrison comes back with fresh beers and sets them down on the table. each of you grab one. tom immediately chugs half of his without bothering to wait for the game to continue. you’re not in the mood to watch him act like this, so you turn to face luke. that only encourages him to drink some more. harry is the one who steps in and pulls his bottle away.

“easy there, alcoholland. you gotta save some for when we play.” “right.” tom wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes already glossy. this isn’t how tonight was supposed to go.

“speaking of,” harrison starts, overly cheerful to make up for the way his friend is behaving. “it’s my turn.” “go for it,” you force a smile at him and swish the beer around in your glass. “this’ll definitely be good. never have i ever gone skinny dipping.”

the heat that rises to your cheeks gives you away before you can take a sip. with a shit-eating grin, tom snatches his beer out of harry’s hand. “gonna need this back, baby bro.” you shyly pick up your drink, tom and harrison being the only others who are guilty. harrison clinks his glass with yours, then you’re both gulping down your poison.

luke playfully raises his eyebrows at you when you’re finished. “i’m sorry, y/n, but i have to hear this story. you went skinny dipping?” cockiness absolutely oozing out of him, tom cuts in. “we went together, actually. i can help her tell this one.”

you spare everybody the explicit details of what happened, but it isn’t hard to guess them. tom is thankfully mature enough in the moment to not reveal much. now that luke knows the story, it feels like there’s tension between him and tom. he’s just too nice to let it show.

taking notes from tom, you impulsively finish off the rest of your drink in hopes of clearing your mind. you earn looks of concern from everyone except the man of the hour. he’s enjoying messing with you.

“that was a fun night, huh?” tom smirks at you. you close your eyes and rub your temples. sensing how off everything is, harrison leaves the table again to get you another drink. he sure has a talent for that.

you’re not sure why tom has to be such an ass tonight of all nights. you’ve already told him about you and luke before, actually he was the first person to know. he should’ve expected to meet him at some point. maybe then, his coping mechanism wouldn’t be getting drunk and making both of you look stupid.

“you okay?” luke nudges your shoulder with his hand. you give him a tight lipped smile. “yeah. sorry about all of that.” “no, it’s fine. i’m a big boy.” he glances over at tom, who’s poking harry’s cheek with a spoon. jesus christ.

harrison brings over another beer for you and a water for tom. you take your drink and push tom’s over to him. he decides to be immature and drops the spoon to switch your glasses. drunk tom is a child.

“are you serious right now? you need to learn when to cut yourself off.” you switch them again, taking a sip of your beer before tom can take it from you. he huffs and drinks his water like you said. you’re only doing this because you care about him. he’s probably too gone at the moment to understand that. if he’s going to think you’re a buzzkill for helping him out, oh well.

“so, babe,” luke makes a point to stress the word, “how about you do the next round of the game?” he leans into you again. you still haven’t taken your eyes off of tom.

“sure,” you agree absentmindedly. “um, never have i ever...” tom smiles lazily at you when he notices you’re looking at him. you forgot that drunk tom is also cute, but you’re not supposed to think that way anymore. not about him. you clear your throat. “never have i ever given myself a really bad hairstyle?”

everybody takes a drink this time, tom finishing his water. you’ve styled your hair in so many awful ways so many times, but only one comes to mind. it’s technically tom’s fault.

-

“come on, y/n/n, let me do it. i’ll even say please. please?” tom all but begs you for the third time. you look up at him from your phone to see him making puppy eyes at you. saying no to those is physically impossible.

you’ve been on hold with your hair salon for almost half an hour trying to make an appointment. they’re normally never this busy, but you really need to go. a person can only let their ends become so split.

for some reason, tom decided he wants to be a hairdresser today. he keeps offering to cut your hair for you instead. you’re not so sure you trust him with scissors, but he won’t stop asking about it unless you let him try. plus, this could be interesting.

you end the call with a sigh. perking up, tom grabs your hands. “so? that’s a yes?” “don’t make me regret this, tom.” he pulls you off the couch by your hands and leads you straight to the bathroom.

“should we wash it first? i think that’s what they do.” he turns on the sink, then goes into the shower to get your hair products. you lean back against the counter and watch him set up. you’re starting to feel kind of nervous about this. tom is usually good at everything he attempts, but something as permanent as a haircut, you’re not sure about.

“relax a bit, darling. you’ll be fine.” tom ruffles your hair with his fingers, making you crinkle your nose. “if it looks bad, no i won’t.” “it’s just hair.” he gets a towel off the rack and drapes it around your shoulders. you look at your hair in the mirror one more time, then lean back so your head is under the faucet. “you’re the one who uses a bottle of hair gel every day.”

“anyways,” you can hear the eye roll in tom’s voice. “let me know if the water’s too hot or too cold.” “nah, it’s good.” he opens your shampoo and squirts some into his hand. “see, i know what i’m doing.” you hum in response, tom’s fingers combing through your hair to make sure it’s wet enough.

you lift your head up from the water so tom can do the shampoo. it feels good, like you’re getting a massage but on your scalp. tom notices your small smile as he eases you down to rinse it out. “enjoying yourself?” you open an eye to see a smug look on his face. “for now, yeah.”

after all the shampoo is gone, tom starts with conditioner. he pulls all your hair to one side and runs through it with a brush a few times. you’re honestly impressed he knows what he’s doing. he must have learned from watching you do your own hair. he puts in the conditioner and twirls a loose strand of hair around his finger, letting it sit for a bit.

“i’ll admit it, you’re actually good at this,” you reach up and poke at his chest. tom pokes your cheek back, then gathers all of your hair again. “mm, thanks. you should let me do your hair for you more often.” “that’ll depend on if you can cut it.” with a chuckle, he lets the ends of your hair fall under the water again.

your hair all washed, tom helps you stand back up. he takes the towel from over your shoulders and uses it to scrunch your hair up. it falls over your face. you know he’s trying to do it so it stays in place, but that’s not what’s happening.

“i’ll do this part, babe,” you laugh to yourself and flip your head over. “pfft, yeah, i was totally gonna try that next,” tom jokes, searching through a drawer for scissors while you wrap your hair. he opens and closes them before dropping them on the counter.

“wanna sit? i don’t know how long this’ll take.” “oh, god. sure.” tom easily lifts you up by your waist and sits you on the counter. you giggle a little at the gesture. he’s full of surprises today. “there you are, m’lady. let’s get started.” he takes the towel off your head and squeezes your hair out with it one more time. pouting, you grab a few strands. “i’ll miss you guys so much.”

”stop it, i’m not even cutting that much off,” tom groans and stands in between your legs. you put your hands on his shoulders. “that’s the plan, but knowing you, you’ll end up giving me, like, a mohawk.” “you think i know how to do that?” your legs wrap around his waist, scooting yourself closer to the edge of the counter. “i hope not.”

tom wraps an arm around your waist and gives you a wicked smile. you probably should’ve asked him to section off your hair so he could cut it evenly, but it slipped your mind. he splits your hair in half the best he can and picks up the scissors. you’re facing him, so you can’t see what he’s about to do in the mirror.

“i’m gonna count to three, okay? one, two, three.” tom takes half of your hair and starts cutting it in a straight line, which is already a problem. it ends up creating this weird zigzag look that can’t be saved by just him. he realizes his mistake after he’s already holding your hair. “oh, shit..” he puts down the scissors and covers his mouth with his free hand. your eyes go wide. “what? what did you do?”

“i- i, um, we can fix it,” he tries, backing away before you freak out. you hop off the counter and turn around to see what happened. it’s long in the back and too short in the front. how did he mess up this bad in not even two minutes? you gasp and touch your disaster of a haircut.

“tom, what is this? it looks... i don’t even know what to say!” you spin back around, pointing at your half cut hair. he winces when he sees it again. “i’m so sorry, y/n/n. i thought-“ “no, you didn’t! you thought nothing! your mind literally must have been empty.” you sit on the floor with your head in your hands, tom crouching down in front of you.

“look at me, darling.” he puts a hand on your back. you scowl up at him. “it’s really not that bad. you’ll figure out a way to make this work.” “you’re so helpful,” you mumble, leaning your head forward so it’s resting on his chest. you’re being dramatic. he was trying to do something nice for you, and it’s not like this was on purpose. tom rubs circles on your back, you nuzzling your cheek into his shirt.

“should i leave the other side, or would that be worse?” “i can do it for you.” “absolutely not.”

-

“i could only wear my hair up for months because of you,” you laugh to tom, warming up to him again from the memory. he puffs some air out of his cheeks with a smile. “be happy you didn’t ask for bangs.” “that’s because i’d never be able to pull them off.” tom messes with your hair so it’s over your eyes, you pushing his hands away with a breathy laugh. “not true.”

luke shifts in his spot next to you to remind you he still exists. you glance over at him and move your hair out of your face. “um, what was yours?” “i dyed my hair orange once. ginger definitely isn’t my look,” he jokes. it seems like he’s just trying to compete with tom now. you muster up a small chuckle for him anyway.

“tom, you haven’t gone yet,” harry points out, picking up his glass. tom considers the fact for a second. “true, but it’s not much fun if i don’t get to drink. can i get another since i’m behaving?” he juts his bottom lip out at his brother. harrison lets out a long sigh. “mate, i really don’t feel like getting up again. take a break.”

you slide your beer over to tom without a second thought. “you can share mine.” he looks at you like you said something wild. “are you sure we should do that?” he’s clearly referring to luke and how he might take it. at this point, it doesn’t matter to you. luke has been acting off since you started playing, and you’re not going to let him ruin your time with your friends.

you shrug your shoulders and tap the glass. “i’m the one who suggested it. drink up.” he hesitates, but takes it.

“ok, never have i ever gotten kicked out of somewhere.” harrison shakes his head and harry rests his chin in his hand, bummed he can’t drink. luke raises his hands up in surrender. that leaves you and tom. you know exactly what he’s thinking about right now. he takes a sip of your beer and hands it back to you, you finishing off the rest of it.

-

tom brought you to a super fancy restaurant for date night. it’s one of those places that has their own dress code and mood lighting. here you are, sat across from him in your most uncomfortable pair of heels and picking at course three of your meal; a bland salad. tom isn’t thrilled with it either, so you don’t feel too bad.

you rarely get the chance to go out for dinners like this because of tom’s ever-growing schedule, so you’re giving this place a try to make up for it.

“i wanna ask if they have dressing, but i’m scared i’ll get yelled at,” you murmur to tom, stabbing a piece of lettuce with your fork. he bites his cheek. your look of disgust makes a giggle slip out of him. “try holding your breath so you don’t taste it,” tom suggests, fiddling with a button on his jacket to stall from eating.

you take a big gulp of water in hopes of cleansing your tastebuds. tom looks at you from over his cup, doing the same. it’s so hard to take this seriously. “i know you wanted to take me somewhere nice, baby, but this kinda sucks.” you whisper the last part. “you’re right. i’ve heard great things about their dessert, though.”

“we’d find out if they didn’t take five years to serve us every course,” you laugh a little too loud at your own joke. an older woman with diamonds around her neck shoots you a glare. tom finally cracks, joining in your laughter over the situation. your waiter comes back at that moment, and he’s less than pleased by the behavior from both of you.

“is everything okay over here?” he asks sharply. “we’re, uh, we’re fine. thank you,” tom hides his laugh with a cough and makes an overly serious face. your waiter places a check on the table. “we didn’t ask for this yet,” you tell him politely. “i’ve heard several complaints about you two throughout your meal, so i’m going to have to ask you to leave.” he explains, handing you a pen to sign the check.

tom’s fake serious face is now a real serious face.

“you can’t-“ “let us pay for what we had, and we’ll be on our way.” you take tom’s arm from across the table. he would’ve pulled the ‘do you know who i am?’ card without you stopping him. your waiter walks away and goes to serve someone else.

“i can’t believe they’re kicking us out. this is so unfair,” tom complains, but gets out his wallet. he grabs the pen from you to take care of everything. “to be fair, we were being pretty annoying. we didn’t even like our food,” you try to reason.

tom does his signature and leaves money on the table. he’s going to be sulking about this the rest of the night. you stand up with your arm still linked in his and walk him over to the exit. he squeezes you closer to him on your way to the car.

“that was disappointing,” tom speaks again once you’re in the car. he rests a hand on your thigh. you put yours on top of his. “and funny. the only thing is, i’m still hungry.” “yeah? how about we go for burgers?”

you’re in the mcdonald’s parking lot eating your second dinner not too much later. it’s a lot better than your first. your heels are kicked off, your feet on the dashboard while you and tom eat and listen to your favorite songs.

tom steals one of your fries and shoves it in his mouth, sticking his tongue out at you after. that earns him a flick from you. “you have your own fries, weirdo!” “yours taste better somehow. here, i’ll trade you.” he lifts the bun off his burger so you can have his pickles. he knows you so well.

“can i tell you something?” tom asks all of a sudden. you stop eating and turn down the radio with a nod. “i know this isn’t as cool as fine dining, but i’m happy we get to have these moments together. wish they could last a little longer,” tom admits to you while staring out the window. you bring his hand up to your lips and kiss it.

“i’ve had so much fun tonight, and every night i spend with you. i don’t care about some gross rich people food. the only thing that matters is is being together, okay?” tom grins at your words, then leans forward and presses his lips to yours. it’s a short but sweet kiss. it’s a kiss that says the words he doesn’t have. “love you, y/n. thank you.” “i love you.”

-

you and tom are doubled over, giggling like kids with your heads bent together. you’re both pretty buzzed from your drink. you try to get yourself together, but he makes eye contact with you and you bust into another fit of laughter. even harry and harrison join in. it’s nice to finally have all of you getting along.

“i think it’s time to head out,” luke announces, moving to get up from the booth. you turn to him and wipe under your eyes. “oh, ok. i’ll text you later?” “you’re not coming?” he sounds more bitter than surprised. “i’m gonna get a ride back with tom when he’s ready to drive. it’s too early for me.”

luke fully sits himself back down and places his almost full glass in front of tom. all the boys are looking at you, but you have no idea what‘s happening. “why’d you do that?” you ask just to him. “i’ve changed my mind. i’m staying for another round of the game.”

you have a bad feeling about whatever he’s going to say. he’s been salty about you and tom all night, as if he didn’t know you’re still friends. it’s not like him at all. not the him you thought you knew, anyway.

“never have i ever,” luke intentionally directs the question at tom, “broken up with the most amazing girl so i could make shitty movies and fuck models. i wonder who’s done that.”

everyone stays silent. you could swear you’ve just been knocked sober. tom gets up from the table without a word, not bothering to wait for harry and harrison to move. he ignores them telling him not to go and steps over them. he’s out the nearest exit of the pub before anyone can stop him. you want to go after him, but you’re stuck in the middle of the booth.

your ‘boyfriend’ put his jealousy before your feelings for the last time tonight.

“what the fuck, luke?”

-

“are you sure you have everything? you remembered all your stuff from security?” you hold tom’s hand impossibly tighter as you get close to his gate.

he leaves today to film cherry in the states. you’re dropping him off at the airport like you always do, but something feels different about this time. it seems like a more permanent goodbye.

“mhm, it’s all here.” tom squeezes your hand back. you stop walking when you reach the sign that has his gate number on it. this is it. the last time you’ll see him for who knows how long? he stands his suitcase up off to the side and moves so he’s in front of you.

his arms are around your neck now, hugging you so close. you wind your arms around him so there’s no space between you two. he rests his chin on your shoulder, letting out a breath. “gonna miss you so much, baby. fuck, i hate this.” “it’s okay, tom. we’ve done it before. we’ll be okay.” you’re trying to convince yourself and him.

he pulls back from you and holds you by your waist. you stay flush against his chest, grabbing on to his hoodie. you don’t trust yourself to look at him right now.

“y/n, i can’t keep doing this to you,” tom says into your ear, his voice oddly steady for such a big thing to say. “doing what? you mean your job?” your fingers play with his hoodie strings. “i’ll be fine. i always am.” “that’s the thing. i don’t want you to just be fine all the time.” he can’t be saying what you think he is. you shake your head against him.

“you should be happy. it’s not fair that i make you settle for less.” “tom, stop.” you move off of him completely, your throat getting tight. “we’ve already talked about this. you do make me happy, even if it’s from another country sometimes. i don’t care.” he takes your hand again.

“this is something i’ve been thinking about for a while, honestly. it’ll be good for both of us.” “i- what are you trying to say?” tears are already clouding your vision. tom lets go of you. “we need to break up, y/n.”

you can feel your entire heart shatter into millions of tiny little pieces. this isn’t happening. not now. not ever. he’s not leaving you so easy.

you’re crying in the middle of the airport for everyone to see, and tom isn’t too far behind you. “i thought you loved me,” you manage to get out. tom chokes back his tears and wipes yours instead, his thumbs running over your cheeks. “i do, angel. i love you so much that it’s hurting me to say goodbye.” “then why can’t we make it work? please,” you lean into his touch for probably the last time.

“because you deserve more. i’m away all the time, and there are things i can’t give you. you deserve someone who’s here for everything.” tom’s fingers trail down to grab your chin gently, you looking up at him with bloodshot eyes.

“i want more for you, y/n.” “i have you. that’s all i want, tom.” neither of you say anything for a good minute. tom almost gives in, you can see it. you whimper when he grabs the handle of his suitcase instead.

“this is because i love you. i... i need you to understand that.” his voice is soft. you wish he could’ve done this way earlier since he was planning on it. “it’s all happening so fast.” tears are dripping down your cheeks and chin. you want to reach for tom, but there’s no point. his mind is made up. an announcement plays through the airport that tom’s flight is boarding.

“i really don’t wanna leave you like this, but i have to go. i’ll call you after i land, okay?” who are you to stop him now? “o- okay. be safe.” tom presses a kiss to your forehead, letting it linger for a few seconds. he puts his hood up and turns around. you watch him walk to his gate. this is the first time he’s left you without looking back.

you start making your way to the parking lot as soon as he’s gone. it takes everything in you not to scream and sob the whole way back. none of this feels right. if you both still love each other, you should be together.

after the longest walk of your life, you get back to your car. you break down all over again.

-

“i’m trying to help you, y/n. it seems like you forgot what he put you through,” luke scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. you can’t believe how he’s acting. “let’s talk about this somewhere else. sorry, guys,” you smile awkwardly at harrison and harry. harry waves you off. “it’s okay. we understand.”

luke gets out of the booth, you following behind and leading him over to an empty corner in the pub. your smile fades. “that was fucked up, luke. we didn’t end things for his career. you know that.” “not officially, but it definitely helped.” does he not realize how crappy that sounds? like you were holding him back?

“you’re wrong. i told you exactly what happened. everything you’re saying is some weird story you made up in your head.” “then he should’ve said that for himself.” you throw your hands up in the air. “you made him fucking uncomfortable! i would’ve left, too.” luke laughs bitterly. “he’s really good at that, you know. leaving.”

“he did it because he loves me. fuck you for joking about it, like it wasn’t something that took me a really long time to get over. it’s sad that my past makes you jealous.” there’s a beat of silence before luke says anything. “do you still love him, y/n?” you both already know the answer. “well?” “yeah. yeah, i do.” you push past him and go out the door tom left from. luke doesn’t bother following.

you’re ready to start searching for tom, but he ends up being right outside. he’s leaning against the side of the building. his head snaps up when the door opens. “didn’t mean to scare you.” you walk over to him. he sniffles and shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “‘s alright. rather you than someone else.” “tom, i’m-“ “don’t apologize.”

“i have to. the things luke said to you were really gross, and i hate that i didn’t stop him.” you take a step closer to him. “you couldn’t have predicted anything he said.” tom gives you a tight lipped smile. “he’s... not the kind of person i thought he was.” “he’s a bit of a dick, to be honest.” you giggle a little at that. you’re just relieved tom isn’t taking this too hard.

“so, he didn’t pass the friends test. i guess that’s okay since things are kind of over between us.” tom finally meets your eyes, furrowing an eyebrow. “why? what happened?” “i cursed him out. said some pretty mean stuff.” he holds out an arm for you. you let him put it around you, instantly settling into his warmth. you’ve needed this.

“you can do better. he seemed too boring for you, anyway.” you shrug your shoulders with a small smile. “i wanted to talk to you about that. i’m not really sure how to say this, so i’ll just... say it.” tom’s heart is beating so fast you can feel it next to you. “yeah?”

you turn to face him, his arm still around you. “i haven’t stopped loving you. this is bad timing because you’re about to go film uncharted, and it’s out of no where, but i thought i should tell you. it might not mean anything now-“ “come with me.” you’re both shocked by each other’s words. you laugh in disbelief, tom nodding to urge you to say yes.

“for real? you want me to go?” “i wanna work on us, and i’m not making you wait any longer. i was stupid for ever giving up. we can figure everything out, and it would only be for the summer-“ now it’s your turn to cut him off, your lips crashing into his. his eyes flutter closed as he kisses you back. he grabs your arms and both of you pull back to catch your breath.

tom kisses you again, this time softer. you smile against his lips. “god, i’ve missed doing that. i really, really love you, y/n.” “i really love you, tom.”

and just like that, he put the pieces of your heart back together.

[subbykboys]

the bad boy’s secret | chanyeol

↳ pairing : badboy!chanyeol x reader

Genre ➞ bad boy AU, fwb AU, college AU, smut

Warnings ➞ sub!chanyeol, dom!reader, bondage, oral (m. & f. receiving), edging, unprotected sex, riding, mild dirty talk, mild degrading, creampie, face riding, cum eating [ sorry not sorry ], reader is in denial , overuse of the word please

Word Count ➞ 8.2k

chanyeol is a bad boy with a nasty reputation. he’s sexy, mysterious, and entirely untouchable. well... to most people, that is. to you, on the other hand-- he’s something else entirely.

posted ; 6.04.20

there was an angry chill in the air. it bit at your face and hands as you strode to the campus lot where your car was parked. all around you, brightly colored leaves fell to the earth as strong gusts of wind broke them free of the branches they so weakly clung to. they blanketed the ground in shades of vibrant reds, tempting oranges, and dull, blotchy browns. 

it was actually really beautiful. you'd always been a fan of the cool undertones of fall. especially the reds. ugh, red was such a gorgeous color. practically everything you owned was red, or some varying shade of it. it was just so sexy and dangerous and— 

"(y/n)!" you were snapped from your inner thoughts by a barking voice. 

quickly, you averted your eyes from the ground and onto the face of the girl walking beside you. her name is Mina, you're pretty sure. you grimaced at her irritated expression, realizing you must have zoned out again. getting lost in your thoughts at inappropriate times was a pretty frequent occurrence for you. 

"huh?" 

she scoffed in disbelief, eyes narrowing, "where's your head at? i've been talking for a solid five minutes and i'm pretty sure you stopped listening six minutes ago."

you chuckled, scratching the back of your neck as an apologetic smile touched your lips, "sorry. i was just thinking about the leaves." 

"you're so weird." 

you didn't know why she felt comfortable saying that to you. you weren't even friends. at least, not by your standards. maybe acquaintances. maybe. 

and that was only because you happened to have the same afternoon photography class and just so happened to sit next to each other. you supposed in her pea sized brain that was enough to qualify for a friendship. but you had standards. and she was god damn rude. 

regardless, you didn't have the energy or patience to start any sort of altercation. so you shrug, head bobbing lazily in agreement. 

"i know."

that seemed to satisfy her as any remaining glimmer of annoyance was swept off her features with one last eye roll and replaced by a light grin, "whatever. hey, there's this party at my boyfriend's frat house tonight and you should totally come." 

"no thanks." was your swift, concise rejection. but of course, that was not enough to satisfy her. 

"what? why not?" her tone demanded an explanation that you really didn't feel like giving. 

sighing heavily, you kicked a pebble across the sidewalks. "parties aren't my thing." 

that was maybe half the truth. you actually did like parties. just not frat boy parties. they were like beacons for girls with low self esteem and insecure rich boys with superiority complexes. they were loud as fuck and made your head ache. not to mention they reeked. apparently, a lot of guys didn't learn in high school how to put on deodorant. your preference stood with more low key parties, with a more controlled number of attendees and some chill drinking. maybe getting a little baked if you were in that vibe. 

"you can be such a buzzkill," she groaned loudly, head rolling back as she stomped her foot childishly. you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. 

"i know." 

"do you ever just let yourself have a good time? like ever? we're in the prime of our lives for god’s sake!" and there she goes again with the 'prime of our lives' bullshit. please. maybe this was the best life would ever be for her, but you had other plans. 

"i have to finish an essay for my business class." no you didn't. 

"but it's friday! you have all weekend to finish it!" why was she trying to argue with you? you'd already said no, so why was she still trying to convince you. spoiler, you weren't about to change your mind anytime soon. 

"i prefer not to put work off until the very last minute." also a lie. 

"(y/n)," she whined, "come on, i personally think it would be pretty healthy for you not to spend another friday night pent up in that little apartment of yours—" 

all at once she was cut off by the distinct roaring of an engine. both your gazes shifted towards the road ahead of you, watching as a flashy red motorcycle came tearing down the street. an excited gasp exploded from your–barely–acquaintance's mouth while a low groan escaped yours. 

fantastic. just what you needed. your daily dose of—

"Yeolie!"

you winced as she squealed his name, waving energetically. you silent prayed he'd just keep going. but of course, he didn't. his bike came to a gradual halt in front of the sidewalk you stood on. it purred as he planted his feet securely on the cement. 

now this next part you could almost see happening in slow motion. 

he reached up with his leather glove clad hands, pulling off his sleek black helmet to reveal a pair of thick, pink lips, a sharp, defined nose, charcoal black eyes, and a head of silver locks. you could practically feel Mina swooning as he swung his head to the side, effectively flipping his hair like some kind of wannabe fetus Justin Bieber. it took less than a moment for those dark eyes to fall on the pair of you, and a slow smirk to crawl across his face. 

Mina immediately rushed up to him (all too energetically for someone who already has a boyfriend, mind you), squeaking out sweet greetings as her touchy hands found purchase on the sleeve of his leather jacket. 

what was up with him and the leather anyway? it was only on shockingly rare occasions that you witnessed him donning something other than his signature black leather outfit, decorated with silver zippers and complimented by a thick chain around his neck and a single silver earring. how much cheesier could he get? 

you'd think after high school, people would be over the whole 'bad boys are so hot' thing. 

apparently not. 

because at your uni, Park Chanyeol was hot shit. every girl and every guy wanted to get their hands on him in one way or another. he was dangerous, sexy, mysterious, hard to get. he rode a blood red motorcycle and smoked blunts behind the main building for god's sake. 

he was the definition of a cliche. but it seemed you were the only person that could see through his whole charade. 

"(y/n), don't be rude! come say hi to Yeolie!" Mina suddenly whipped around, waving you over. 

this bitch— 

the corner of your lip twitched in a subtle sneer, but, ever the pacifist, you obliged, slowly moving to stand at her side. his irritating smirk widened upon your approach, tongue swinging over the corner of his lip as his eyes dropped to do a brief once over. 

"Chanyeol," you grunted with a less than enthusiastic tone. 

"(y/n)," was his swift reply, voice as deep and smooth as ever, "wonderful seeing you again. you look as happy-go-lucky as ever." 

the sarcasm was palpable. 

"yeah well, it seems i just can't contain myself with you around," you bit back with just as much satire, lips curling dryly. 

"i'm flattered," he all but cooed, head tilting downward as his teeth latched onto his bottom lip. 

he stared boldly into your eyes, and you stared right back with just as much fire. 

"um... do you guys, like... know each other?" 

"no."

"yes."

you both responded simultaneously.

confusion plastered itself across her face, eyes jumping back and forth from your face to his. a taunting smile tugged at the corners of his lips, "we actually went to the same high school, isn't that right, (y/n)?" 

you huffed in annoyance, shoulders slumping, "yeah. we did." 

"and you never told me this because…?" 

because you weren't close in the least and you hadn't even told her when your birthday was let alone about your high school life. 

"didn't seem like important information." 

she gaped at you in disbelief, "anything regarding my Yeolie is important information!" 

was she trying to stroke his already colossal ego? if his head got any bigger, it might just explode.

Chanyeol’s grin broadened at her statement, and you silently groaned, knowing exactly what was coming before he even opened his mouth, "yeah, (y/n). anything regarding me is important information. so why didn't you tell her? trying to keep me all for yourself? how greedy of you." 

"please." you scoffed.

Mina glared at you sharply before plastering an innocent smile across her face and twirling a strand of her platinum blonde dyed hair. "ignore her, Yeolie. i was actually wondering if i'd be seeing you at Jake's party tonight?" 

"wasn't planning on it," he admitted, and Mina pouted, lips puckering, over dramatically whining in protest. suddenly, his eyes shifted to you, that stupid smirk touching his features,  "but maybe if a certain buzzkill was attending... i'd be more tempted to make an appearance." 

buzzkill? oh, you. 

"i'm not—"

"of course (y/n)'s coming! wouldn't be a party without her!" Mina rushed to cut you off, throwing an arm over your shoulder and yanking you into her side with a grip tight enough to bruise. you looked at her like she was crazy, brows furrowed, eyes wide, lip raised in a disgusted sneer. but her hold was enough to squeeze the air out of your lungs and steal away your ability to refute. 

Chanyeol’s brows jumped in surprise, an amused grin spreading across his face, "really?"

"wait, no—"

"yes! i was surprised when she agreed, too! but guess she's finally breaking out of her shell!" you were going to kick her ass if she kept cutting you off. 

"well isn't that great to hear." there was a mischievous flicker in his dark eyes, a look you knew all too well. 

"so... you'll come?" she asked hopefully.

"sure." you were annoyed at how easily he agreed. he was still smirking smugly as he began pulling his helmet back down over his head. shooting you a wink and a two fingered wave, he spoke again, "see ya tonight." 

with that final word, he was speeding off down the road, tires kicking up dust and pebbles as they spun. 

as soon as Mina's grip loosened from around you, you were ten feet away, swiftly walking in the direction of your car. "(y/n)! wait!" she cried out, running after you in her five inch heels. you didn't slow down in the least. 

"i'm not going, Mina," you said sternly, not even bothering to look back at her. 

"b–but i told Chanyeol—" 

"no." 

"please?"

"not. happening." 

⋄⋆⋄

you ended up going. 

not because you wanted to, of course. but because Mina decided it was necessary to show up at your apartment and quite literally drag you out. she was surprisingly strong for such a small person, and fiercely persistent. she'd even gone the extra mile of forcefully applying makeup to your eyelids and lips. that's not to say you didn't put up one hell of a fight. but conflict was never your strong suite, and you eventually ended up going pliant under her ministrations. 

unsurprisingly, it was just as you expected it to be. loud. stinky. and filled to the brim with horny bastards looking for a quick fuck. you'd been there for all of ten minutes and you'd already gotten your ass grabbed six times. slimy assholes think it's acceptable to touch someone without permission. all the more reason you didn't want to stick around for long. 

not to mention, Mina had ditched you the minute you walked in the door to suck faces with her fuckboy boyfriend. since then you'd been gravitating from room to room, searching for the best place to sit without being squished by a horny couple practically dry humping against you. 

luckily, you found your solace upstairs in an empty bedroom. the music was muffled the moment you shut the door, the stuffy air that smelled of sweat and marijuana also clearing out. finally, you could breathe. 

you spotted a candle and lighter on the bedside table, and quickly moved to light it. the dull, soothing glow that filled the room, splashing light across the walls made the headache that had begun to swell at your temples ease up. exhaling softly, you fell back onto the neatly made bed, body relaxing into the soft duvet. 

but of course, your moment of tranquility was short lasting. 

because before you could so much as shut your eyes, the door was opening, and a painfully familiar voice was purring, "there you are~ i've been looking all over for you, (y/n), you sly girl." 

"fucking hell," you growled under your breath, propping yourself up on your elbows to face him properly, "what do you want, Chanyeol?" 

he gently nudged the door shut behind him, before walking over to where you lay. "isn't it obvious?" he murmured, leaning forward to press his hands against the mattress on either side of your ankles. 

"spell it out for me." 

he chuckled softly, knees meeting the bedding as he began to crawl upwards, until his face was hovering over yours. even you couldn't deny how beautiful he looked up close, with those big, dark eyes, boyishly grinning lips, smooth, tan skin... 

"i," he began, nose nudging against your cheek, "want," his lips feathered over yours, "you." 

a dark chuckle rolled off your tongue as you met his hooded, lustful gaze. "you we're so greedy last time... and still... you couldn't get enough," you replied smoothly, voice deepening as your desire for him grew. 

"what can i say? i'm insatiable." 

you scoffed, the corners of your lips curling as you lifted your head slightly, leaving only the tiniest of spaces between your mouth, "i don't think you deserve it." your whisper caressed his lips all too temptingly. A chill rolled down his spine, eyes fluttering as he felt himself falter briefly. 

"maybe i don't... but i can earn it..." 

now that caught your interest. 

a smirk touched your features, "and how might you do that?" 

he bit his lip, trying his best to subdue a grin, "by doing whatever you ask of me." 

"you willing to take that risk? after that little stunt earlier? i might just decide not to go easy on you." your voice was taunting, but the challenge and threat were very real. 

"i can handle anything you give me." 

you raised a brow, amused by his naive confidence. then, in the blink of an eye, you had him underneath you, pinning his wrists to the mattress above his head. the action had been so sudden that he could only gasp in shock when his back collided with the bed. you stared down at him with dark eyes, the tip of your tongue sliding over the corner of your mouth. 

"you sure about that, big boy?" 

he inhaled deeply when your head lowered to the curve of his throat, lips just barely grazing over that sensitive spot. "most definitely." he let out breathlessly, eyes fluttering as he tilted his chin back, offering himself to you. something dark alighted in your eyes, a sinister gleam in your smirk as thoughts of how you could absolutely ruin him flooded your mind. 

"you're going to regret saying that." 

you didn’t offer him the opportunity to respond before your lips crashed down on his. he let out a muffled sound of surprise at the sudden action, but quickly relaxed beneath you, returning the kiss eagerly. 

see? you much preferred Chanyeol when he wasn’t running that big mouth of his. he was always so much more fun when he was choking on desperate moans and trembling uncontrollably under your touch. 

truth about the infamous Park Chanyeol? he was a bitch. 

in fact... he was your bitch. 

it started back in high school. when you were the chill girl who wasn't too well known by anyone outside of your friend group, and when he was the untouchable bad boy that everyone drooled over. 

to keep it to the point, you'd both attended a mutual friend's party your senior year, got wasted, and hooked up. 

but, it wasn't what you'd expected it to be. no, because you'd expect Chanyeol to be the kind of guy to pin a girl (or guy) down and dominate the fuck out of them. but the moment your voice took on an authoritative pitch, he was putty in your hands, whining and moaning and begging... it stirred something to life inside of you that you had no idea was there. 

and it was good. really good. so good, in fact, he came running back to you within the next week practically begging for more. and shit, you gave it to him. he was one of the first guys you'd dominated like that. it was empowering, controlling a guy as big as Chanyeol was. it was an addictive sensation. 

but you'd made it very clear from the beginning that it was going to be nothing more than sex. it wasn't romantic, you weren't friends, and you had no intention of getting to know him on a deeper level than his body. though, he seemed suspiciously intent on worming his way into your life one way or another. the boy was relentless. luckily, you were equally as stubborn. a match made in hell, aren’t you? what a spectacle. 

you drew away from the kiss at the feeling of his tongue prodding at your lips, a low whine following soon after. you scoffed softly at the sight of his pouting face, “so needy.” 

“you can only blame yourself.” he shot back easily, eyes already hooded and darkened with lust. excitement glimmered within them as you reached down between your bodies, fingers slowly undoing his belt. 

“is that right?” you murmured, not breaking eye contact for a single moment, a lazy smirk resting on your face. he swallowed, trembling pupils jumping noncommittally from your intense stare down to where you were making easy work of his belt buckle. 

“i— yes.” you don’t think he knew what he was saying yes to, his mind already becoming a muddled mess from the promise of what the night had in store for the two of you. his rationality had a nasty habit of hopping out the window whenever you got him in this position. 

“what are you hoping happens tonight, Chanyeol?” you asked softly, slowly pulling his belt from the first loop of his jeans. 

he swallowed thickly, head beginning to swing back and forth is slow swoops. “i– i don’t—” his voice broke off with a strangled whine as you allowed your fingertips to caress ever so gently over the ever growing tent in his pants. 

you raised a brow into a questioning arch, stifling a smirk of amusement at his already flustered state. “it’s a simple question.” 

his cheeks pinkened. “i just… want you.” it almost came out more as a question than a statement, words shy and hesitant. 

“want me to what?” you pressed. 

“to… to kiss me.” his gaze fell onto your lips, his own parting. 

“kiss you?” you repeated, tone on the verge of taunting. “asking for a lot there, aren’t you, sweetheart?” 

you were teasing him, but he didn’t seem to mind, blinking slowly as he dragged his tongue over the pink swell of his thick lower lip. “want you to touch me…” his voice lowered an octave, deep, lustful eyes looking up at you intensely. 

“where?” 

“everywhere.” he replied without missing a beat. “anywhere. just— just want your hands. or your mouth. i’ll take anything that you give me… but you already know that.” 

you really loved the sound of his voice when he got like this. it was softer than cotton and smoother than silk, rumbling so deep in his chest that you could almost mistake it for purring. it spilled off his lips like the thickest, sweetest honey, so lush and lovely, dripping with shameless desire. something about it was so soothing. and the sounds he made were even better, his guttural groans and melodic moans were nothing short of symphonies. and you were the conductor. 

chuckling, you smirked down at him. “you’re right. i do already know that.” he gasped as you suddenly yanked his belt completely free. “now be a good little bitch and grab onto the headboard.” 

he eagerly complied, capturing his lip between his teeth as he watched you bind his wrists above his head. his eyes slowly dragged over your face, drifting over the length of your neck, following the smooths swells of your chest beneath your black tank top. a low groan slid from his lips as you pressed your hips forward slightly, just barely grinding against his growing erection. his eyes snapped up at the sound of your soft laughter. 

“my eyes are up here, sweetheart.” you hummed, pulling his belt taught before looping it around one of the vertical wooden bars. 

“and beautiful eyes they are.” he grinned up at you in that boyishly charming way, shooting you a playful wink. you scoffed, hands drifting down to rest on his firm chest before one raised to grip his jaw, tilting his head upward. lowering your own head, you allowed your lips to caress teasingly over his. 

“maybe i should gag you, too. keep that pretty mouth in check,” you mused, dragging your thumb slowly over his full lips, “but unfortunately i think i enjoy the sound of your voice almost as much as you do. especially when you're moaning my name. god it’s so hot.” 

you almost growled as he took your finger into his mouth, moaning softly around it. you swooped down, swiftly replacing your finger with your lips. the kiss was deep, rough, and hungry. distracted by your weaponized tongue, he didn’t process that you were unbuttoning his jeans until they were being pushed down his thighs and your hand was gripping his arousal through his thin black boxers. 

“fuck, (y/n),” he groaned deeply into your mouth, arms gently tugging against their restraints. you dragged your lips away from his, face lowering so that you could suck your mark onto the expanse of his neck. he sighed blissfully, hot breath rushing over your ear as he subtly rolled his hips, body temperature rising steadily. you bit down on his collarbone, hands pushing up under his shirt to feel at his toned, well built torso. he was so hard, muscles rigid and protruding, so warm to the touch. 

it was rather amazing. a guy as big as Chanyeol, as strong and as confident, could easily get the upper hand over you if he wanted. he could flip you over and pin you down without so much as breaking a sweat. but he didn’t. he let you pin him down, tie him up, dominate him, mind and body. he allowed himself to submit to you, to be taken by you: slowly, quickly, roughly, gently, he didn’t care, but dammit he enjoyed every second of it. and if that didn’t give you a rush of power, then you don’t know what could. 

goosebumps rose across his honeyed skin as you pushed his shirt up to fully expose his tight body to your ravenous eyes, a chill rolling down his spine when you lowered your mouth to latch onto the smooth swell of his pectoral. he moaned quietly, back arching as you peppered kisses down his abdomen, slowly shifting lower, lower, lower… until your face was level with his bulge. 

a sound of excitement flooded past his lips, his breathing becoming rapid and deep. “really?” he asked hopefully, voice breathless and light. a slow smirk crawled across your lips and you chuckled at the way he jolted with a moan when you pressed a slow kiss to his clothed arousal. 

“really.” you hummed in confirmation. “you said you wanted my mouth, didn’t you?” 

he frantically bobbed his head. “yes. yes, god yes. please.” you almost laughed at his shameless display of desperation. he let out a deep, strained groan as you flicked your tongue over his clothed erection, head falling back. 

“ah ah, eyes on me, baby.” you scolded mildly, squeezing his thighs in warning. he lifted his head without argument, face flushed and glistening with faint perspiration, lip caught in a tight grip between his teeth, brows furrowed. 

from your viewpoint, he looked rather beautiful: arms bound above his head, exposed chest rising and falling dramatically with each deep breath, messy silver hair falling flawlessly over his hooded, lustful eyes. 

and he in turn was also quite taken by how perfect you looked between his legs: smirking lips hovering right over where he needed them most, dark, penetrating gaze making his body tremble with an unspoken need. 

your fingers slipped under the elastic of his boxers, slowly easing them down his thighs until his length sprang free. “there he is,” you murmured, tongue dragging over your lower lip as you admired him, long and thick and swollen, precum spilling over his hot, red tip. he shuddered in delight as you traced your finger over a vein. 

“(y/n)…” his usually deep voice was pleading and airy, hands curling into tight fists above his head, “please.” 

you smiled up at him innocently before delivering a teasing kitten lick to his sensitive tip. he whined softly, hips twitching as his need for you increased tenfold. 

a slightly more sadistic side of you rather enjoyed watching him squirm. perhaps it was that hidden part of you that wanted nothing more than to tease him into oblivion with insubstantial caresses and borderline torturous kisses until he was writhing helplessly and there were tears spilling from those beautiful big brown eyes. 

however, a larger part of you craved the sight of his stunning, fucked out expression. the one where his face glistened with sweat, thick pink lips swollen and red from being ruthlessly and relentlessly attacked by those pearly whites, puppy dog eyes hooded and fluttering, fighting to remain open against his mind's desire to just melt completely into the pleasure coursing like hot lava through his veins. that was the face you wanted to see more than anything. 

a broken moan flooded from his gaping mouth as you fastened your lips around his tip, the taste of his salty precum immediately lathering your tongue. he trembled as you hummed lightly around him, mouth silently forming the words ‘oh god’ as the vibrations sent sparks of pleasure shooting through his body like static shock. 

“feels good, (y/n),” he whined weakly, stomach tensing, “feels so good.” 

your response was to thrust your head down and as much of him into your mouth as possible. he cried out, hips snapping up at the feeling of your gentle sucking. you were quick to pin them back down, a warning glare darkening your gaze. 

“‘m sorry—,” he slurred, panting heavily, “i’m sorry.” he was quick to submit, fighting against the painfully strong urge to fuck himself up into your warm mouth and forcing his quivering body to go pliant beneath your ministrations. satisfied for the time being, you dragged your tongue from his base to his weeping head, tracing slow, taunting circles over his most sensitive place. 

a broken moan was all he could manage as his cock twitched tellingly, precum spilling down his throbbing length. you fixed your lips back around his tip, sucking gently. his thighs trembled at the sensation it sent shooting through his veins, a breathless ‘oh’ pulsing from his pink-bitten lips. 

“(y/n)— (y/n), if you keep doing that—” the warning was clear, but you wanted to see just how close you could bring him to his release before stealing it away last second. it was always fun to watch how hard he came down from his high when he was denied of it. it was delicious, the way he gasped and trembled, shuddering hips desperately seeking out more frictions, but never receiving it. he was so cute when he got like that. 

“you gonna come, baby?” you cooed, replacing your mouth with your hand and shifting upwards so that you could look directly into his eyes. you wanted to be able to see the look in his pretty brown eyes when you stole away his release. he whimpered, head bobbing rapidly as he caught his lower lip between his teeth. 

“please.” 

you only offered a low, contemplative hum before a wicked smirk struck your features. “not yet.” 

a sob broke from his lips as you drew away from his throbbing dick, his high stolen only moments before it could come crashing down over him. his hips bucked, desperately seeking the friction you so cruelly denied him of, but finding nothing but empty air in place of your warm touch. his muscles trembled, broken pleas spilling from his quivering lips. 

“(y-y/n), no— please,” he gasped out, arms tugging against the sturdy binds, fingers aching to touch you, grab onto you, hold you. 

you hushed him with sweet words, pressing a soothing kiss to the cut of his jaw, hands massaging the bulk of his muscular thighs and holding still his stuttering hips. 

“fuck– i hate it when you do that.” he cursed weakly, glassy eyes peering up into yours. 

“no you don’t.” you chuckled softly, brushing his damp bangs out of his face in an unexpectedly tender gesture. 

“you’re right, i don’t.” he relented easily, the corners of his lips curling subtly. 

a sudden silence fell over you, and it took you a moment to realize that he was looking at you with those eyes— the ones you knew all too well. the ones you’d told him plenty of times to drop. because those weren’t the kind of eyes you were supposed to look at a fuck buddy with. those weren’t the kind of eyes that just anybody could be on the receiving end of, most definitely not you. 

“don’t look at me like that.” you warned, hardening your expression. 

“i can’t help it.” he breathed. you felt your stomach twist. damnit. 

“then close ‘em, Park. before I decide to blindfold you, too.” 

it seemed your threat wasn’t very well received, as the smile adorning his features only expanded, the corners of his eyes crinkling endearingly. 

“that doesn’t sound too bad.” 

a dry laugh burst from your lips. “god, you’re so fucking submissive. how has nobody else untangled your little ruse, hm? acting all big and tough on the outside when all you really want is to be tied up and fucked like a horny little bitch. am i really the only one that’s got you figured out?” you hummed thoughtfully, tracing your fingers down his throat and caressing his collarbone. 

“you’re the only one, (y/n).” 

for some reason… you had a strange feeling that that sentence held more meaning than you were willing to decipher.  

“you tell all your little side fucks that?” you taunted, disguising the slight tremor in your chest with a dangerous smirk. 

he shook his head, gaze not wavering for a moment. “there’s no one else. only you.” 

fuck. you needed him to stop talking. so, you did the one thing that always did the trick: shoving your fingers down his throat. he let out a muffled sound of surprise at the unexpected intrusion, a sound that easily melted into a low moan, his tongue immediately getting to work lapping at your digits. 

“you talk too much.” you murmured, taking him off guard and eliciting a low groan from the back of his throat as you ground yourself down on his naked length. “you came to get fucked, didn’t you, sweetheart?” 

he eagerly nodded his head, hips nudging up excitedly against your own. 

“thought so.” you chuckled. 

through wide, glassy eyes, Chanyeol watched you push yourself upright, straddling his thighs. just as he was about to ask what you were doing, you grabbed the hem of your tank top and peeled it off over your head, discarding it onto the floor, your pants fast to follow. 

“fuck. you’re so beautiful.” he groaned deeply, ravenous gaze raking over your nearly naked form. you smirked at him cockily. 

“i know.” 

a surprised laugh erupted from his lips at your blunt reply, eyes glinting with something akin to admiration. “as you should.” 

smiling to yourself, you swiftly climbed back on top of him, not wasting any time before grabbing hold of his throbbing dick. he let out a breath of appreciation at the contact, biting at the inside of his cheek. every muscle in his body tightened as you teasingly traced his tip over your clothed heat, his precum slickening the thin fabric. 

“are you wet?” he asked weakly, voice so airy and strained that you almost missed it. 

grinning devilishly, you toyed with the elastic. “do you wanna find out?” 

“yes,” he all but hissed out, muscular arms straining against their secure restraints, “fuck— yes, please.” 

“mmm, you sound so hot when you're desperate to get fucked.” you groaned softly, nudging your underwear to the side in order to slip his head through your hot arousal. he shuddered at the sensation, his pupils blown wide with lust as he watched you tease not only him but yourself as well with fleeting caresses of his needy length against your burning core. 

“(y/n).” his deep voice had become little more than a breathless whimper singed with molten desire. you felt your pulse jump at the very sound of it, your own want for him swelling with every passing second. 

Chanyeol let out a broken gasp as you sunk down on him, cursing weakly as you took him in inch by inch. a low hum vibrated on your lips at the blissful stretch, hot tendrils of pleasure igniting throughout your body. 

“sometimes i forget just how good you feel inside of me.” you breathed out heavily, peering down at his already fucked out expression with a coy smirk. 

“i could never forget.” he moaned, roughly biting his lower lip. a slow, deep grind of your hips had his head of unruly silver locks tossed back into the plush pillows, an unsteady groan of your name filling the hot, heavy air surrounding you. 

“fuck, go faster.” 

he realized his mistake only when your fingers were pressing into the length of his throat, all motion ceased. “is that how you ask for things?” you asked, voice dangerously calm. 

he was quick to shake his head, eager to right his wrong. “please. please go faster.” 

“that’s better.” 

a rough sob is pulled from his flushed throat (which you’re almost certain will be raw tomorrow morning) as you fuck yourself down onto him. the pace was fast, hungry, rough. his back bowing off the mattress, hips pulsing upward, desperate to meet each thrust half way. 

“(y/n),” you almost moaned at the sight of his body rolling beneath yours, muscles flexed and trembling, toned arms straining against the tight hold of his belt, the leather biting pretty red marks into his wrists, “i wanna touch you— please let me touch you. let me feel you, baby. you know i can make you feel good.”

his begging caused a playful grin to draw itself across your face. “should i?” you murmured thoughtfully, rolling your hips in slow, controlled circles. a low, throaty moan vibrated in your chest as he thrust himself up inside of you, just barely brushing over that perfect little spot. 

“i can be so good for you. please… let me be good for you, (y/n).” 

“well when you say it like that…” you sighed, feeling any remaining resolve come crumbling down. 

excitement ignited in his dark eyes, and he watched with bated breath as you reached up, getting to work on freeing him from the binds. 

the very moment the belt fell slack, releasing his hands, they were on your skin, eager and impatient, tugging you down into a heated kiss. it was messy and rough, all biting teeth and lashing tongues. not that you minded much, it was always fun reminding him who was in charge, one way or another. 

his wandering hands eagerly explored the expanse of your body, squeezing, pressing, pulling. and you let him have his fun, let him push the limits, testing your boundaries with every curious prod and trembling caress. 

it was only when you felt his fingers pressing into the swells of your ass and begin guiding your movements that you drew the line. it took all of a few seconds for you to have his wrists pinned down on either side of his head. 

you pulled away from his lips was a disappointed sigh, tongue clicking. “still no restraint, i see? i’m disappointed. i thought you said you’d be good for me, yeolie? was that good?” he all but whimpered, his head, too muddled from pleasure to form coherent words, shaking remorsefully. “no… that was very bad. bad boy, yeolie.” 

his dick throbbed so hard inside of you that you could’ve sworn he’d almost just come. 

a scoff of both amazement and disbelief escaped your lips. “you like being called a bad boy?” 

how ironic. 

color flushed into his cheeks, embarrassment shining in his big, glassy eyes that were now refusing to meet your gaze. 

“look at me.” 

he gasped as you purposely clenched around him, thrusting your hips back until he was balls deep, successfully forcing his attention onto your face. you grabbed his chin securely between your thumb and forefinger, and lowered your head to the point where your lips were just barely brushing over his. his pupils were blown and trembling as they met yours. 

“you wanna be my bad boy, baby?” 

his jaw fell open, a thunderous moan breaking from his chest. 

“yes.” 

“say it.” you all but growled, tone leaving no room for argument. 

at this point, he was too lost in his own desire to feel any real shame. 

“i wanna be your bad boy.” 

a triumphant smirk curled onto your face, and you rewarded him with a gentle kiss to his quivering lips. “you gonna come for me, bad boy?” he was already bobbing his head frantically before you’d even fully gotten the question out. you chuckled sadistically at his unabashed desperation. “should i let you?” 

“(y/n), please— i don’t think i can— fuck.” he panted out, voice shuddering and breaking as you fucked yourself down on him at just the right pace to keep him teetering dangerously on the edge without completely throwing him over. you bit your lip, pleasure exploding like firecrackers in your veins as he thrusted into you. fuck, if he didn’t stop hitting that spot… 

his hands curled into tight fists where they were pinned to the mattress, dull nails biting smooth crescents into his palm. noticing this, you took it upon yourself to weave your fingers through his, holding his hands in an unexpectedly tender display. only because you didn’t want him to accidentally hurt himself… that was all. 

but, perhaps it was a mistake. 

because that look returned to his eyes with vengeance, his features melting into bursting admiration and unspoken emotion. this time, you ignored it, too gone in your own pleasure to spare it a second thought. that’s what you convinced yourself of, anyways. 

he was pulsing intensely against your slick walls, twitching cock threatening to erupt at any given second. you could tell he was fighting to hold himself back, the veins in his throat growing prominent from the strenuous effort. it was admirable in a way, how desperately he wanted to please you, even if it meant denying himself of the greatest pleasure of all. you’d encountered very few men with that kind of will power. so you couldn’t help but to respect it when you saw it in Chanyeol. 

“you look like you’re about to explode.” you taunted breathlessly, lips pulled into a lust hazed smirk. “it’d be cruel of me to tell you to hold it, wouldn’t it?” 

he whimpered helplessly, obviously not sure which answer would satisfy you and which would coax you into further torturing his already wrecked body. 

you offered a rasping chuckled. “you’re lucky that i’m feeling rather generous today.” 

something between a sob and a moan are thrown past his lips as you slam yourself down on him, purposefully squeezing your walls around him. he cries out your name desperately, imploringly. you know he can’t hold back anymore, no matter how hard he tries. his body was going to come whether he liked it or not. you felt in the way he throbbed and twitched inside of you, heard it in the way he groaned and sighed, saw it in the way his eyes rolled, body shuddering uncontrollably. 

“come.” 

and he fucking did. 

his body stalled, back arching off the bad, hips sputtering up in sharp, quick thrusts, the sound of skin on skin contact resonating through the room. you cooed, relishing in the way he quivered and keener beneath you, mouth gaping silently for a few moments before growling moans finally broke through, rumbling so deep in his chest you could have easily mistaken it for thunder. 

you let him fill you up, painting your walls with his release, knowing damn well your intentions once he was finished. 

“that’s it, baby…” you cooed, releasing one of his clenched fists to caress his feverish face, tracing the lower line of his plump lip, swollen and red from his relentless biting. 

“oh! look at that. you made a mess, sweetheart.” you purred, smirking wickedly as you watched his arousal drip out of you and onto his now half hard cock. he moaned at the sight, cursing under his breath. “I think it’s only right if you clean it up.” 

his eyes snapped up to meet yours, excitement immediately burning with his hazy, blown pupils. that was your boy… always eager to clean up after himself. especially if it meant he could put his tongue and lips to proper use. 

“fuck. ride my face. wanna taste you. wanna make you come.” he groaned breathlessly, freed hands reaching down to grip at your thighs, tugging at them impatiently. 

you chuckled at how eager he was, happily obliging. you climbed up, repositioning yourself to hover over his flushed face, caging his head between your thighs. his fingers pressed into your hips, pulling you down and into reach of his greedy tongue. you couldn’t help the sigh that slid from your lips at the first contact, eyes fluttering at the feeling of his tongue dragging hungrily through your come soaked folds. 

“that’s right. eat your come, baby. lick it up.” you breathed out heavily, fingers weaving through his damp silver locks. 

he moaned against you, the vibrations sending chills rolling down your spine. it was like white hot electricity in your veins when he rolled his flattened tongue cover your clit, a sharp moan erupting from your throat. 

“fuck, just like that. right there.” you panted, hips grinding down against his skilled tongue. “you’re so fucking good with your mouth, yeol.” his determination spiked at the praise, lips encircling your clit and sucking purposefully. 

pure euphoria rushed through your veins, head falling back as your grip on his hair tightened. his rapacious hands danced across your body, fingers pressing hotly into your skin, obviously not having learned his lesson the first time around. though, you weren’t too keen on correcting him. especially not with the fire his touch was igniting across your body. 

your hips stuttered as his tongue pressed inside of you, lapping at you hungrily. “tastes… so good…” he groaned brokenly against your arousal, hooded eyes devouring the sight of you falling apart above him. 

if there was one thing Park Chanyeol loved– it was being the cause of your pleasure. 

snagging your lip roughly between your teeth, you meet his searing gaze, your walls clenching around his invading tongue at the almost unbearable intensity of it. 

“you like it?” you moaned, feeling yourself begin to climb your way towards release. he nuzzled against you, nose pressing against your clit as his tongue teased your entrance. 

god… if you didn’t know any better you’d say he was trying to suffocate himself. knowing Chanyeol, he’d probably consider it the perfect way to go. perhaps you would have laughed at the thought had it not been for the molten pleasure numbing your mind and senses.

“i’m gonna come.” 

at your breathless declaration, Chanyeol is quickly replacing his tongue with two of his fingers, fucking them up into you steadily while his mouth gets to work on your clit. it feels so good… you’re numb to pretty much everything else but the feeling of him, the sight of him. 

and you find it’s just that that finally sends you tumbling over that ledge: the sight of those beautiful brown eyes, dark and eager, burning with unspoken emotion, pooling with crimson seduction. he’s breathtaking. 

you shift off of his face carefully, a hazy, satisfied smirk settling across your face. 

“what a filthy boy.” you purr softly, more so to yourself than him, delighting in the sight of his face, glistening from a mixture of both his and your own release. his lips curl upwards at the corners, sinful tongue peeking out to drag over them and savor the lingering taste of you, a low hum of appreciation rumbling deep in his chest.  

his hands don’t leave your hips as you carefully lift yourself off of him, offering some much needed support for your still shaky legs. you flop down on the mattress beside him with a soft ‘oof’ and shut your eyes, taking a moment to catch your breath and gather your scattered wits. a few moments of silence pass, before your brow twitched in irritation. 

“stop staring before i smack you.” even with your eyes closed, you can feel the heat of his gaze on the side of your face. 

he chuckled unabashedly, not all too torn up about being caught. “sorry. i can’t help myself,” he paused, “you’re just so beautiful like this.” 

sighing, you roll your head to the side, eyes fluttering open to meet his. “what’d i say about calling me beautiful?”  

he pouts, looking like a scolded puppy. “not to say it after sex.” 

“that’s right.”

“but it’s the truth!” 

“Chanyeol.” you groan, throwing an arm over your face. 

he huffs in annoyance rolling onto his side and propping his head up on his palm. “what’s so wrong with me saying that you're beautiful?” 

“you know exactly what’s wrong with it.” you grumble, shooting him a pointed glare, one he is quick to return. rolling your eyes, you turn away from him. “i’m too fucked out to try and argue with you right now so can you just drop it?”  

one of his arms snakes over your waist, and you inhaled sharply in surprise as he tugged you into his chest. 

“Chanyeol—”

he was quick to disregard your warning tone, nuzzling his face into your neck. “i like to cuddle.” 

“you know—” you began, scowling as he cut you off a second time. 

“i know what we agreed to but come on… a few minutes won’t kill you.” he grumbled, low voice raspy with exhaustion. 

the slight tightening of his hold around you told you that he had no intention of letting go any time soon. your features twisted into a scowl, eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling. 

but your resolve to remain unphased wavered. 

because, for a moment, you let yourself feel the warmth of his body against yours, allowing yourself to melt into it. it was a strange sensation, the comfort it brought you… the security. perhaps it was the aftermath of your orgasm. or maybe the exhaustion from a stressful week. or maybe something else entirely… regardless, you found yourself relaxing into him, into his hold, into his warmth. it wasn’t something you could really control. and even if you could, you weren’t sure if you would do anything different. 

minutes passed. maybe two. maybe five. maybe twenty. you weren’t really sure. you could hear the muffled music still pumping through the speakers somewhere downstairs. dull footsteps and low voices passing outside the door every now and again. the soft glow from the still candle flickered soothingly over the pale walls. 

a strange sense of calm had settled over you at some point. you weren’t sure quite when. all you knew was that if you listened hard enough, you could almost hear the steady beating of Chanyeol’s heart. his breathing had become slow and heavy, warming the side of your face with every exhale. 

“are you…” you swallowed, throat unexpectedly dry, “are you asleep?” 

you were met with silence. 

sucking your lips into your mouth, you slowly turned your head. your heart faltered in your chest. “geez.” you muttered softly, a faint smile touching your lips. 

he was knocked out cold, cheek smooshed up against the pillow, lips parted and puckered out, hair cast across the white pillowcase, a few locks stuck on his eyelashes. you lifted your hand carefully, gently brushing the silver strands out of his face. your fingers lingered on his skin, caressing ever so lightly over his cheek and jaw. 

“beautiful.” 

it took you a moment to realize that that word had just come from your lips. you jerked away like you’d been stung, eyes wide, and heart suddenly racing. 

shit. 

you were so fucked.

[ssaltbending]

Ok, guys, hear me out: Zuko is a Capricorn, Katara is a Cancer —and here’s why (it would be so poetic).

Part 1: Zuko

TW: explicit mentions of child abuse.

I know this statement might seem weird and out of place, but in the last couple weeks I’ve been digging a lot into astrology and, in order not to forget my roots, I thoroughly felt the need to combine both of my most recent obsessions in one post, given that this headcanon hasn’t been able to leave my mind ever since I came up with it: if we applied astrology to the Avatar world, I’m sure Cancer and Capricorn would be Katara and Zuko’s signs, respectively. And I don’t say this in a superficial way, just by looking at zodiac memes and associating Katara with the crybabies Cancers are portrayed as or saying Zuko is a Capricorn buzzkill as people who know astrology on a surface level would assume they are —those are some of the most common stereotypes about the signs. No, I’m saying that they embody those signs on an archetypal leve: in the way their stories, especially Zuko’s, resemble the myths that originate the zodiac signs and their respective traits.

Therefore, without further ado, let me explain.

The Capricorn archetype: the sins of the father...

As any casual astrology enthusiast may probably know, the sign of Capricorn is connected to qualities such as perseverance, integrity, resilience and ambition, typically treated as the CEO or boss of the zodiac. However, the sign itself has a richer and much more complex story as we look at the deities it is associated with as well as the planet that rules it: Saturn, linked to the Roman god of the same name and the greek gods Cronus, Zeus, Hestia and Pan. Some astrologers choose Cronus as Capricorn’s patron god and others prefer his children, but that can be explained very easily.

The myth goes like this: Cronus, a giant and father of what we would know as some of the main greek gods (Hestia, Demeter, Hades, Poseidon, Hera and Zeus), was actually the son of Uranos, who he subverted thanks to the advice of his mother Gaia to use an agricultural tool to kill him. But as time went by and Cronus had started having children with his partner, Rhea, the fear of his descendants becoming stronger than him and doing the same thing he had done to his father took over him, which led to his decision of swallowing them all whole. He started with Hestia all the way back to Zeus, whom he couldn’t swallow right after he was born, unlike his other children, because this time Rhea had hid him in the island of Crete to protect him from his father. To deceive him, Rhea then covered a rock in cloth to make it resemble a baby for Cronus to eat it, thinking that it was a newborn Zeus.

Time passed and Zeus grew stronger until he was ready to confront his father and save his siblings from his womb, and when he finally did it, he managed to force Cronus into disgorge them one by one, in the reverse order they had been swallowed —which left Hestia as the last sibling to be disgorged.

After that, Zeus was left with a prophecy, where he would also be possibly overthrown by a son of his. And after Métis, the woman he was told would bear said child, gave birth he swallowed the newborn whole just like Cronus had done with his brothers and sisters. The child in question, however, started giving him headaches as it grew older and bigger inside of him and would become the goddess we know as Athena. What Zeus did with her was the repetition of a cycle perpetuated by his forefathers, a cycle of abuse and trauma that seems inescapable. What this part of the duality of the Capricorn archetype shows one of the ways in which those ideas of tradition and legacy can be carried on (a very negative one, to be honest), but that’s not the only way they can manifest, which gives the archetype this… almost cinematic quality, in my opinion. (And if we take this into account, I might headcanon Azula as a Capricorn rising due not only to the archetypal coincidences but the overall mastermind outlook she has and how much of a natural, domineering and calculating leader she is, but that’s besides the point.)

Now, let’s talk about the other side of the archetype, which gives it this incredible dual quality: Hestia’s path. Unlike her brother Zeus, Hestia was the one who not only had been devoured by her father, but she had spent the most time inside him as well. This is often associated with the emotional isolation many Capricorns experience in their youth, the lack of warmth and love by one of their parents, along with the desire not to become the abusive parent they were exposed to. Hestia is the other side of the story, the unspoken leader of the Olympians, the one who broke the toxic cycle running in her family for generations, vowing to become an eternal virgin and protector of the earth. Besides, Hestia means “hearth”: the inner fire, the one that is never allowed to go out.

(art by @elisebrave​)

That is the soul of the Capricorn archetype: the crossroads of destiny, the moment when the child decides whether to become like their parents, or forge their own path like Hestia did. Do you guys see what I see now? Are the similarities clear enough?

As my dear friend @persephobeee​ points out in her Capricorn essay (a crucial source for this one): “The Capricorn archetype is a cycle of stuck parents putting stress on their children at such a young age so then their kid ends up making money in retaliation, but then treat their kids the same as well due to the lack of warmth and freedom they had in their own childhood. The intense pressure put onto them as a child [then] leads to isolation and depression. It’s a cycle. ‘I don’t want to be my parent, but also… how they have ruined me’. The chain can continue with Zeus (projecting sorrows and nightmares onto their own children) or it could break with Hestia (the path of love, light and protection).”

This is why Capricorn’s planetary ruler, Saturn, is also associated with ideas found in this myth: restriction, limitation, order, boundaries, leadership, responsibility… pretty much dad vibes, to be honest. Do you guys see what I see or do I have to dig deeper?

“But isn’t zuko a firebender?? Why would he be an earth sign??”, you may ask.

The way that I might be making headcanons about the Gaang’s western zodiac signs isn’t gonna be based on which element they bend, because that would be quite reductive and restrictive for me as an astrology junkie, but their similarities to each sign’s archetype and overall characteristics. And yes, I do see Zuko as an earth sun, but that wouldn’t be his only sign, there is also the moon and the rising sign, which also have an important impact on the individual. In my opinion, Zuko’s personality embodies the qualities of fire signs as well: competitiveness, drive, passion, impulsiveness and loyalty. But to me those qualities are better shown in his character through his moon sign: an Aries moon, to be specific. See those anger outbursts? The “I don’t need any [fucking] calming tea!!”? The “you never think these things through”? Aries moon behavior, right there. But I’m not going to focus on moon signs right now. Let’s get back to the behavior I am the most well-versed at: Capricorn behavior.

So, the sign of Capricorn is also a cardinal sign, a leader, since they are the ones that begin each season. In the Northern Hemisphere, Capricorn season starts right on the winter solstice, and the opposite happens in the South. However, since all the astrology lore comes from the North thanks to the Greeks, Babylonians and more, the seasonal connections are related to the seasons there. As a consequence, Capricorn is the cardinal sign that brings the coldest, darkest season of the year: winter. And incorporating that into Zuko’s character would be incredibly fitting, in my opinion, because of some stuff I’ve read here on Tumblr saying that making him being born during the coldest time of the year would make it a terrible omen for a firebender, worse in this case due to him being born into the royal family, symbols of the power and “supremacy” of the Fire Nation. The fact that he would be born in winter, if we follow this reasoning, would have made him seem as a disappointment to his father ever since birth. 

… or maybe I’m just cruel, guys.

Moreover, I think Zuko embodies many of the Capricorn qualities in the way he carries himself (because no, not all Capricorns are confident managers with the world in our hands) and how hard he has to work to earn everything he gets. A key part of what this sign represents is “the path of hardships the goat has to overcome in order to reach the top of the mountain”, which along with the myth I have described before, could easily be applied to Zuko. It describes values of endurance, hard work, discipline and drive in order to achieve your goals, something that can be seen in Zuko all throughout the series, but changes its focus as the seasons go by. Besides, uhm… have you guys seen “The Day of Black Sun, Part 2”? That is literally the positive outcome of the Capricorn myth made into animation: the confrontation between an abusive father figure and his abused child who has decided to part ways with him in order to become a better person.

On another note, I think it is important to highlight how the Capricorn in Zuko could be seen based on how the rest of the Gaang treats him as well when he changes sides and he’s accepted into the group. How?, you may be wondering: as a father figure, but in a positive way. In many scenes it can be noticed how he naturally takes a position of leadership within the group as well as he takes care of the younger members such as Aang and Toph but, especially in Aang’s case, tries to ground them and teach them. As examples, take the following: Zuko reminding Aang that soon he will have to face the fact that he might have to kill Ozai, him trying to get everyone to train when the comet is about to arrive; how when Aang gets lost, it is him the one people look to in order to lead the group, etc.

Another thing that is well-known in Capricorns is our resilience and perseverance and, honestly: do I even need to explain that? When it comes to the guy who would get his ass beaten again and again and again for one season straight in order to get what he wanted which would also give him the approval of his father, what he craved most? It screams earth sign behavior to me, but with a heavy saturnian influence due to Zuko’s background which, to me, can be quite an interesting reflection of the Saturn/Cronus myth with his children. Said tenacity could also be exacerbated by the willpower and energy brought by the possibility of him having a fire moon, I don’t know, think about it. I stick to that headcanon.

That perseverance can also be seen when it comes to Zuko’s firebending, given how much he’s always trying to improve his skills. Although it could be argued that in reality he’s doing so due to the expectations put on him to be a proficient bender just like his sister in order to be accepted by his father, and his constant training to the point of exhaustion is just a manifestation of that toxic behavior. I am sorry to tell you, but that’s textbook Capricorn behavior, associated with the symbolism of the hardworking goat in general: working the hardest in order to get what you want is always on-brand when it comes to important Capricorn placements, and in my opinion Zuko is no exception.

Final thoughts.

Anyway, what I think would be most relevant is what I mentioned before about the Capricorn archetype and how it could tie in nicely to Zuko’s character arc with him as a representation of Hestia, who could grow out of the abuse she experienced and got a chance not to make her father’s mistakes and break that horrendous cycle she had been a victim of. I would go into this more deeply, but I think it has been enough for now. However, I’ll be back soon with a part two, talking about my water queen Katara. What do you think about this headcanon? Do you agree? If not, why? 

Thanks for coming to my weird-ass TedTalk at 1am. I needed to vent and I haven’t been able to put the computer down since 9pm, I literally only stopped to eat, lol.

See you soon, 

a Capricorn sun.

[carmenxjulia]

Showrunner Duane Capizzi did an informal Q&A session with some fans in a CS chatroom. There are several question askers, all marked by name. Get some insider knowledge on the show, after the break!

Duane Capizzi:

Just checking things out! Feel like I'm poking my head through a door at a party I'm crashing haha.

Fun to see everyone hanging out and talking all good things Carmen

Can't stay long - I should have taken the code name "Crimson Phantom"

Crimson Phantom - I like the sound of that (if it's not already taken haha)

Carmen:

It's an awesome nickname! Personally I'm more of a Scarlet Santa Rosa person myself- I love that little interaction with Jules and Carmen in the special

Duane Capizzi:

Scarlet Santa Rosa! Yes, that was really cute between them. Too cute in fact.

Coach Brunt had some names for her too if i recollect

Arden:

Lambkins

Wren:

Didn't Brunt also call her Monica Santa Monica once?

Mage:

Yeah in the Boston episode

Also Josie San Jose

Arden:

I personally prefer Fedora the Explora

Duane Capizzi:

Josie yes hahaha

I can't believe we got away with Fedora the Explorer! I thought that would be noted but I'm glad we did. So funny!

Carmen is amazing! She "owns" whatever she wears, doesn't she?

Carmen:

She definitely owns Carmen Brand Outerwear

Duane Capizzi:

I'll share another tidbit though (along the lines of Carmen being a love story where everyone is in love with Carmen).

It was important for obvious reasons that the show be (among other things) about female empowerment. And we wanted to celebrate fashion of course. But it was super important to me to not fall into the "male gaze" trap. That was something I imparted to the storyboard crew and directors. It's a fine line, I know, but I think we succeeded.

Arden:

You sure did. What I adore about Carmen Sandiego is how unsexualized all the characters were while still being inclusive to different body types and races

Duane Capizzi:

Well artists love to sneak things in! So it was a little rule I had

They were mostly great about it - in all the 32 episodes, I think I asked to change only two shots for that reason. Where I had to go "ahem"

"Outerwear" sounds so peculiar but I think that's what made it work. I kept changing it back and forth and sometimes I'm surprised to see/hear it in the show. For the longest time it was "Carmen Clothiers." Did I make the right decision? Sometimes you can rework things too much and lose sight - it happens!

The one shot that leaps to mind was Shadowsan carrying her fireman style at top of 202, as they were escaping through the tunnels. Her, um, fundamentals were just a little too front and center to not fall into the "male gaze" trap. Nothing awful! It was borderline. We just adjusted the angle a bit

Julia:

My favorite most definitely has to be her formal wear from the "need for speed caper"

Duane Capizzi:

I'd have to think about my favorite outfit or top five. All her evening gowns of course!

Maybe "witch." We couldn't make it red because it would not have been a very good disguise (plus, you know: "Scarlet Witch" haha).

But let's not underestimate her signature hat/coat - I continue to be enamored with how we updated her look from the old trench coat thing.

Arden:

Not me suddenly motivated to draw Carmen in a scarlet witch outfit

Duane Capizzi:

Then you have to draw Zack as Pietro!

(or Player? Only his fingers are speedy)

Arden:

Idea: what if player (or Shadowsan) was Pietro

Duane Capizzi:

Shadowsan IS Pietro. He's so quick you never see him move.

Wren:

Shadowsan's fight with Brunt where it went slowmo and he moved fast was so cool!

Duane Capizzi:

Hey, Shadowsan is quite the fashion plate too - am I right?

I love the outfits on the show. So good! So perfect! But, I'm not being very modest am I

I really love SS in the dark trench coat. So. Bad. Ass.

Carmen:

Any thoughts on the Fashionista memory thing?

Duane Capizzi:

Fashionista, sure! What do you want to know?

Carmen:

Give me a second-

Duane Capizzi:

Thank you for noting the aesthetics on the show! Much effort, passion and vision from all involved - Chromosphere, our directors, animators, composers, sound mixers - everyone gave it all they had, it was so inspiring for all involved.

Carmen:

Was there any significance to that specific memory- Carmen defending Julia in the Fashionista Caper- being chosen as the first memory she remembered when she went outside? Like, why that scene specifically over any others for example?

(referring to the finale)

Duane Capizzi:

Oh, that! To be honest, not from me: we were just trying to do the "swirl of confused memories" like we did with Gray earlier in the season. We wanted to show that the ACME device had jostled some old memories loose and that "the girl agent with glasses" was now taking root in Carmen's rush of memories/emotions

But that specific memory, not necessarily from my POV - it could have been any number of Julia moments, like their first meeting on the train (for instance)

The director Jos Humphrey must have picked it. It worked for me!

Carmen:

We all loved that it was that specific memory that was chosen out of all Julia and Carmen moments, the fact that she remembered defending her was an added emotional experience to the already emotional finale

Duane Capizzi:

Well let's talk about the original scene in 204! On the surface just a light fun episode, but so many things came together there: Shadowsan connecting with Player; SS getting his new clothes; but the key thing was switching Julia back from doing Chief's bidding back to Carmen's side. The episode was built around the moment that Carmen pulls Julia on stage with her (I'm not kidding). That was THE moment

Carmen:

We have MANY questions... we should probably set a limit

Duane Capizzi:

Ask away - I don't mind. Honestly, Carmen is my favorite topic! I've been living, breathing, dreaming Carmen for the last 5 years! I don't think there's much to say, I think it's all there on screen. But happy to talk about it because I love to

Cam:

I have a question, what about the color theory in Carmen Sandiego? What do you think certain colors mean as in, blue, yellow, green, and red.

we have our own ideas about the colors but it would be interesting to hear from your perspective

Duane Capizzi:

Color theory! Well chromosphere color scripts every episode (!). If those haven't been shared publicly yet remind me, maybe I can get permission to do so or have them do it. They are lovely to behold.

But basically Carmen = red (duh); Vile = green; Acme = blue. That's the simple version. We started talking about that early on.

color scripts = they do thumbnail art of key scenes to share mood/emotion

we tried to NOT use red for non-Carmen scenes; and scenes where she was significant the color red would be dominant or sometimes symbolically precede her (for instance).

If you google color scripts I'm sure you will see some come up. Try Pixar color scripts for instance. There's a great Art of Pixar book with their color scripts.

Arden:

Do you think Julia is blue or purple?

Duane Capizzi:

Haha, Jules definitely purple! Cute.

Mage:

You've just confirmed the whole color theory these guys have been working on for a while.

Duane Capizzi:

I was actually being funny - is she actually color scripted purple in the series? Wow, my mind might be blown

Garfield:

Now I have a question!

Julia has great admiration and respect for Carmen. Do you think Carmen has as much respect and admiration for Julia as Julia does for her?

Duane Capizzi:

I think Julia might just be a little infatuated with Carmen (even if she hasn't fully articulated how to herself - remember, the show may be sophisticated but it's still a kids show). But mostly Julia just knows/intuits/deduces Carmen's a good guy, pretty much from the beginning. I think the two have a connection that defies space and time in some ways - look at how much they work in tandem without being in the same scenes together much of the time. I love that!

As for Carmen, of course she respects Julia: she knows Julia "gets" her, and respects Julia's smarts and mutual love of history/respect for cultures.

I love how Chase is the ultimate buzzkill for whatever might be stirring in Julia as she's watching Carmen fly away in the Pilot. She's like, "whooaa ..." Then Chase falls onto the windshield. Hilarious!

Nina:

I was actually wondering if Carmen and Julia were meant to have opposing color schemes? With Julia's original outfit I mean

Duane Capizzi:

Oh, good question about Julia's original outfit: I'd have to think about that or ask Jos or Chromosphere. J's colors ARE sort of a drabber distant cousin to Carmen's, aren't they? I think mostly we just wanted "drab workaday" colors for Interpol, knowing that both of them would eventually be slicked up as ACME Agents.

Nova:

Devineaux is immune to injuries it is the only reason why he has lasted so long in ACME and Interpol

Duane Capizzi:

Devineaux, one of my favorite lines: "I did not know you two kept in touch."

Am I right?

SelinIndigo:

I have one question:

Will we ever know Carmen's given name? Also, if you don't mind when is her birthday in this reboot?

Duane Capizzi:

Carmen's given name: never say never! But for where our series ended, I thought it would just interfere. That's not how I wanted you to remember her. It would have just been a label and spoiled her mystique IMO

Player, however: we totally messed with you! "Mr. Bouchard."

Carmen's birthday?

Hmmm.

Maybe month and day but not year: would hate to date the show

I also don't like naming ages in shows because it just gets weird with timelines and such. Or can be.

Carmen:

I made a post about this a while back— how did Carmen end up getting Julia's apartment address? did she just text her for it or straight up ask? did she find out on her own in the least stalker-y way possible? I just have so many theories- do you have any thoughts on it?

Duane Capizzi:

The apartment in the IA special? Oh that whole story was like one big dream sequence ;)

Arden:

What does the wink mean? Does Julia even live in an apartment?

Nina:

Does that mean Carmen dreamt she gave Julia roses or-

Duane Capizzi:

We played things faster and looser for fun there

Okay, I just saw what time it is. Yikes! Time flies when you're having fun. Well THANK YOU EVERYONE (for loving the show, for building this site, for being you.

[floatingpetals]

What Have I Done? || Epilogue

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of past traumas, fluff(Is that really a warning tho?)

Word Count: 3900+

Summary: A bad break up between Bucky and his ex leads to a new friendship with the quiet tech he never had the chance to get to know. Relationships grow, feelings are caught, and boundaries are explored. Bucky thought he found his happy ending, but old memories haunt his future. He knows what he’s doing wrong, dangerous even, but he can’t help it. Can he fix the wrongs he’s done? -a requested story for @iheartsebastianstan​

**THIS IS AN 18+ STORY, SO PLEASE NO MINORS!

A/N: And I oop-. This has been a long time coming, huh? Thank you for everyone being so incredibly patient with me. I hated how long I’ve been fighting this, don’t know why it was so hard to finish either. I hope you all enjoy the last bit of their story! Let me know what you think and enjoy!!

Gif is not mine, credit to the creator. text dividers credit: @writeyourmindaway​​

Chapter 12 | Epilogue | Series Masterlist

Six months later:

“Come on Wolf!”

Bucky chuckled at the shout from outside the little oasis he’d been living in the past six months and zipped up his bag with the last of his things. Even though he was excited, there was the bubbling apprehension that was festering in the pit of his stomach. Today was the day. The day he was given clearance from his therapists to go back to the compound and restart his life.

“The jets not going to wait forever for you!”

Bucky fondly rolled his eyes and threw the bag over his shoulder before he shot one last look over the room. Sighing softly, he headed towards the door.

“I’m coming. Chill.” He shouted back.

Shuri leaned against a fence post outside, flipping through her holographic messages. When Bucky opened the door, she glanced up and swiped the message clear. She beamed and pushed off the post.

“Finally. I thought I was going to have drag you out by your ear.” She smirked.

“Hey, the only person who can do that is my mother or sister, and I’m pretty sure you’re neither.” Bucky shook his head and brushed passed her. Shuri giggled and skipped alongside him, her arms clasped behind her back with her trademark smirk.

“I would say I’m a little offended you don’t see me as your little sister after all we’ve been through. You keep coming back no matter how many times I scare you off.” Shuri teased, nudging Bucky’s side with her elbow.

Bucky laughed and shook his head. Over the past six months, Bucky had grown closer to Shuri than he had been before. He’d spend hours at her lab, letting her tinker on his arm between his trips to therapy sessions and helping the farmers in the fields. Her cheer and sarcastic attitude was something he didn’t know he needed. She helped make things easier dealing with the separation from the people he loved back home and dealing with the trauma he’d gone through. It was like she was his own personal cheerleader who was willing to smack him in the back of the head when he’d go too deep in his dark thoughts. She didn’t let him get away with much. Anything, really.

Therapy itself was exhausting but also life-altering. There wasn’t one second where he doubted his decision to come here. He needed this. If he hadn’t gotten help when he did, Bucky feared to know where he would have been. There was no doubt in his mind things would have gotten worse and everything he loved, even the woman he cherished, would have abandoned him without a backward glance.

Now though, he knew what went wrong. He knew he wasn’t anything Vivian said to him. He was important, he did mean something to several people. And he still tangled occasionally with this, he acknowledged he isn’t a monster. He never was and now he could finally breathe easier. The little voices in the back of his head weren’t gone, of course, the therapist told him they’d never truly be gone, but now he knew how to separate them from the truth. 

Their only goal was to bring him down, to tear him and all his hard work to pieces. And now he had the tools to fight back. He’d still have therapy once a week, Bucky wasn’t completely ready to give that up yet, but they could easily be done over the phone or by video call now. He no longer needed to be here.

“Are you excited about going back?” Shuri asked, pulling Bucky back to the present. He hummed and nodded, despite the butterflies in his stomach. Shuri narrowed her eyes at him, catching the hesitancy in his lackluster reply. “That’s not a very convincing answer, Sargent.”

Bucky exhaled loudly and ran his metal hand through his hair. He knew what she really meant; he just didn’t want to answer it. Truthfully, he was terrified. A long time had passed since he left. Things have changed, and he hadn’t left on a positive note. There was a high chance Y/N took his words to heart and moved on. Bucky wouldn’t blame her. He treated her like she was nothing more than a possession. Y/N deserved better than that. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop him from hoping she might give him another chance.

“Bucky.” Shuri stopped in front of him, her face serious. Bucky blinked. “You don’t have to go so soon if you need more time. You were just cleared today. We would understand if you needed to stay and you’re always welcomed here.”

Warmth bubbled in Bucky’s chest, a tiny smile spreading on his lips. It felt nice to be welcomed somewhere. Everyone here greeted him with open arms. This was his second home and as much as he would love to stay, he needed to go home to his first. He couldn’t hide forever.

Inhaling deeply, Bucky let out a steady breath and smiled widely. For the first time in forever, Bucky felt light and free. Yes, he was ready and optimistic about whatever the future held.

“Yeah.” Bucky beamed, his happiness shining in his eyes. “I’m ready to go home.”

“Requesting clearance for landing.”

Bucky buckled in his seat, inhaling nervously through his nose as Okoye made her decent. There was a frustrated grumble on the intercom that brought an amused smirk to his face.

“Oh for the- Just land the damn jet.” Tony huffed through the speaker. Bucky shot a curious glance over to where Okoye sat at the helm. She had an amused smirk on her face and winked at Bucky when she caught him staring. Bucky laughed, realizing it wasn’t because she was going by the book, not in the slightest. Apparently, not even she was above riling up Tony.

As the jet began its descent, Bucky felt the nerves in the pit of his stomach increase with each passing second. There was no turning back now, he couldn’t run away if he wanted to. Besides, Okoye wouldn’t hesitate to drag him by the back of his neck if he tried to bolt. Not that he would.

After a smooth landing, Bucky shakily stood to go to his bag. He’s been on missions where he might never return home from, faced villains that would turn anyone’s blood cold, but this- seeing everyone after how he left things. This was terrifying. He tried to tamp down his nerves and push aside the bubble of uncertainty that rose in his throat.  

“I hope you don’t mind. Peter and his friends have invited me out to go see a movie.” He heard Shuri say to her brother. T’challa hummed and walked to the ramp as it lowered.

“I expected you to leave. Take Okoye.” He replied. Bucky slung his bag over his shoulder, grinning wide at the whine from Shuri and the frustrated scoff that came Okoye.

“I’m sorry. Would I be a buzzkill, your majesty?” Okoye asked tartly. Bucky walked up behind them to follow down the ramp, his grip tight on the handles to his bag. Shuri rolled her eyes and sent the older woman an annoyed glare.

“I’m not a child.” Shuri argued. “I don’t need a baby sister.”

“And yet, you were the one that filled the throne room with the chickens that took half the staff and me the entire day collecting.” T’challa replied simply, completely unfazed. Bucky snickered. He might have helped with a few chickens. “Consider this payback for the chicken shit we were covered in.”

Bucky turned to the laugh at the bottom of the ramp, spotting three faces he worried seeing and quickly looked at his feet. Tony stood at the bottom of the ramp, hearing the argument and smirked at the two siblings. Beside him stood Steve and Natasha, both looking excited and happy to see everyone. Bucky couldn’t meet any of their eyes, still too nervous that they harbored some resentment from him. 

He hadn’t spoken to any of them since he left, both he and the others agreeing that contact would be nonexistent until he was given the okay. T’challa would occasionally let them know how Bucky was doing, but it wasn’t often. He was supposed to tell them he was coming home, but he couldn’t even find the courage to pick up the phone. Instead, he sent a short email of the news and left it at that. An email, he scoffed to himself. I couldn’t even send them a text.

T’challa stepped away from his sister and greeted Tony with a wide smile and clasped the man’s offered hand in a shake. Bucky heard them say their hellos, a few snips between siblings thrown in here and there. Hesitantly, he raised his eyes to look them over and noticed there wasn’t the one person he hoped would be there. His heart dropped. Y/N was nowhere to be found. T’challa walked off with Tony and Natasha, his sister and Okoye following close behind, leaving Bucky alone with Steve.

Steve waited for Bucky, his hands tucked in his pocket and a gentle smile on his face. Bucky stopped at the bottom of the ramp, his feet refusing to take the last step off.

“How ya doin’ pal?” Steve asked, his voice void of malice and resentment. In fact, he sounded happy to see him. It surprised Bucky. Of all people he expected to hold the grudge, he expected Steve to keep a firm grip on that. Blinking, Bucky swallowed and nodded.

“I’m doing better.” He mumbled. “A lot, actually.”

Steve didn’t say anything. His eyes traced over Bucky, searching for something in his friend. He must have liked what he saw, his smile stretched across his face. Wordlessly, Steve opened his arms and closed the distance, pulling Bucky into a tight hug. All the fear and anxiety left Bucky in an instant, his shoulder sagging in relief. He returned the hug full-heartedly, squeezing Steve in a way to convey his relief.

“We missed you, Buck.” Steve said genuinely as he pulled away. Bucky’s breath hitched and he stared in disbelief at Steve with wide eyes. Steve chuckled and jerked his chin to the hangers' door. “Come on.”

Steve led Bucky through the familiar halls, asking any and all questions pertaining to his time away. Bucky found it easy to slip back into joking with his friend, and the realization that in the last few months before going to Wakanda, Bucky had shut himself away from Steve. From everyone for that matter. He missed his friend.

Bucky knew what Steve meant when he missed him. It was a big topic the therapists worked on in their sessions Steve didn’t mean he just missed him while he was gone, he meant he missed him period. Bucky might have found a lot in Y/N, but he quickly understood he lost a lot of himself along the way by listening to the voices that told him otherwise. Now, he was going to do everything he could to keep from falling on old habits. He had to. There was no way he could put anyone else through this again.

Steve stopped outside the living room, standing off to the side a wide crooked smile.

“We figured you’d want some time to yourselves. Everyone’s going to the lake house Tony bought a few weeks ago for the afternoon. We’ll be back around seven for dinner.” Steve clapped a hand on his shoulder and took the bag Bucky still held. “I’ll go put this in your room. And good luck.”

Bucky frowned at how obscure his friend was being. He watched Steve disappear around the corner before shaking his head. Stepping into the living room, Bucky froze when he saw who was sitting on the couch.

Y/N looked up when she heard him walk in, her heart in her throat. She sucked in air sharply at the sight of Bucky standing in front of her. Her eyes raked over his form, taking in his appearance. He looked good. His skin was bronzed from no doubt being out in the African sun, his hair was pulled back into his signature bun. But his eyes, his eyes were what made her heart soar. No longer did he have the dark bags under his eyes, or the glossed over appearance in his blues. They were crystal clear and staring right back at her with an expression of longing. Y/N’s face burned, and she willed herself to shake off the astonishment and smile.

“Hi.” She said.

“Hi.”

The two didn’t know what else to say, didn’t know where to start. There was a lot that needed to be said, a lot of pain that was between them. Bucky counted to three before inhaling deeply. He waved to the empty spot beside her on the couch.

“Is it oaky for me to sit?” He asked. Y/N nodded and moved over to make more room, tucking her leg to her side and angled to face him. Bucky settled onto the familiar couch, his own matching smile on his face. Y/N knew she missed him when he was gone, but she never realized just how much until he was right there, within reaching distance. She could count his eyelashes, could see the health pink in his cheeks. She missed him so much.

Bucky rubbed a sweaty palm on his jeans and exhaled loudly.

“I uh… I missed you.” He winced at the lame start of a conversation. Thankfully, Y/N didn’t mind. She tilted her head to the side and giggled softly.

“I missed you too.”

Bucky forgot how much he loved her voice. His heart did a funny flip in his chest and it took him all his willpower not to melt into the couch.

“I guess it’s time to address the elephant in the room.” Bucky began. Y/N sat a little straighter, her face dropping to a serious expression. There was no beating around the bush for this one. “There’s nothing I can say to ever express how sorry I am for the horrible way I treated you.”

“Bucky-.”

“No,” Bucky shook his head, his tone firm but gentle. “We can sit here and argue till we’re blue in the face, but I did. I treated you like an object that was mine to keep and hold. I didn’t give you the respect you needed or deserved. I let my fears and insecurities rule my emotions. I thought if I beat them to punch before they could be proven right that I’d win somehow. In the end all it did was hurt the woman I love. And God, I’m so sorry I ever did. You were my rock. You helped me bring me out of my lowest point and I essentially spat in your face.”

Y/N didn’t respond. She glanced down at her hands, listening intently at what Bucky was saying. Bucky, however, was trying to keep his voice from breaking. No amount of therapy could have ever prepared him for difficult this conversation was. It needed to be done, but god if it didn’t sting.

“I don’t know if you could ever forgive me, and quite frankly, I wouldn’t blame you if you decided you never wanted to speak with me again.” Bucky finally said after a moment of silence. Y/N’s head snapped up and her eyes went wide. “I just want you to know, I will never, ever allow myself to become what I was ever again. I can’t say I’m fully healed, don’t think I ever will be, but I can damn well promise you that I will do everything I can to keep from going back. I can’t go back. Not to what I had become.”

Y/N couldn’t stop the tears that swelled to her eyes, the conviction and determination he spoke with shook her to the core. She hadn’t seen him in months, seeing him was overwhelming as it was, but this brought the flood of emotions she’d been keeping inside since the day he left.

He wasn’t the only one who went to therapy. Tony and Steve both agreed, that while Bucky might not have been intentionally abusive, he had toed the line rather closely. Of course, both agreed after a day or two to cool their heads that Bucky never meant her any harm. At least not knowingly. Nevertheless, they wanted to make sure Y/N was okay, that she could talk with someone who knew what they were doing about what she went through. Much like Bucky, Y/N found a little bit of determination to not let things go back to the way they were when he would come back home.

She knew her limits and had control of the voice she was finding in herself when she was with him. Her therapist helped her realized that yes, Bucky did hurt her, but he wasn’t bad. This wasn’t him. He was sick and was getting help. Help he willingly went for. She talked through whatever hidden resentment she had and it helped her see things in a new light. She wasn’t the shy quiet woman from six months ago who was too scared to speak up. Now she found a strength she didn’t know she had and Bucky inadvertently helped her find it.

Even at the end of the day, after talking through everything and working past the hurt, Y/N knew one thing. She still loved him. Fully and completely, she was head over heels in love with the man. If anything, this made her realize just how much she missed and cared about it. How seeing him in pain brought her more agony than she could have ever described. Having him here, in front of her pouring out his heart only made that awareness even stronger.

Reaching to take his hand in hers, Y/N scooted closer so that her side was against his. Bucky held his breath, stunned at how easily she moved against him. He expected her to recoil, to tell him she heard enough and had already decided that this, what they had was history. Yet, when she tilted her head back to stare at him, her eyes shown with love and understanding that Bucky never thought he’d ever deserved. He took in a deep breath, his eyelashes fluttering shut when he took her smell. Warm as honey and sweet with a hint of citrus. She smelt like what home was to him.

“Bucky,” Y/N whispered, leaned forward to press her forehead against his. Bucky hummed and opened his eyes. “You weren’t in your right state of mind, the trauma you went through in your past was still fresh and then when you threw in Vivian and her treatment to you? It was only a matter of time before you snapped. I know that deep down you never would have hurt me, but we didn’t have the tools you need- that we needed to get you through this.”

“I still hurt you though.” Bucky interjected. Y/N sighed softly and nodded, sitting back to see Bucky’s face better.

“You did.” She didn’t argue. Bucky’s shoulders dropped and he turned away. Y/N cupped his cheek, bringing his face back to hers with a gentle smile tugging at her lips. “And I forgave you a long time ago. I could never hold something like this against you. We’ve all had those demons in our heads that do nothing but tell us lies and lead us to become worse than what we really are. I only wish we could have helped you sooner before it turned into what it had.”

“How can you just forgive me so easily?” Bucky asked astonished. Y/N tilted her head to the side the smile stretching across her lips at the shocked look on his face. He really didn’t know.

“It’s simple.” She shrugged. “Because I love you.”

Bucky swore his heart exploded in his chest. The hope he had suppressed sparked to life and began to spread. His therapists told him he was still too hard on himself. It’s not that he didn’t believe them, but he wasn’t going to get his hopes up only for them to crash and burn when she’d tell him to leave and never talk to him again. He knew his girl was different, but he really hadn’t thought she was ready to forgive him so soon. The shock hit him, and it was written across his forehead in big bold letters.

“You-.” He stammered, swallowing thickly. “You do?”

“Of course I do.” Y/N laughed and snuggled closer against him. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder and tugged at his neck so she could press her forehead against his. Bucky’s melted in her hold; his eyes fluttering shut on instinct. No matter how long they’ve been apart, his body never forgot how safe he felt when he was around her. When she started to scratch the spot on his neck behind his ear with her nails, Bucky felt a rumble build in his chest and a blissful grin spreading across his lips.

“I’m not saying I’m willing to just jump back into where we were.” Y/N began softly. Bucky tensed, his eyes fluttering open. “Things have to be different if you want us to stay together. And I’m more than willing to work out anything we need to work out to make that happen. I do love you, and I’m sorry if this sounds a little selfish, but I’m not willing to let you go.”

Bucky let out a breathless laugh, gobsmacked. He slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her to his sit on his lap. Y/N’s laugh echoed his, a sound he missed hearing the most, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He stared up at her, a light in his eyes that Y/N hadn’t seen in months. She was right of course; this wasn’t going to be swept under the rug and ignored. They had done that for too long before and look where they ended up. He would do whatever he could to show her that there was no going back to six months ago. That Bucky was a thing of the past. Things were going to be different and for the better.

“To be completely honest, I wasn’t willing to let you go either,” Bucky whispered softly. “But I sure as hell wasn’t going to force you to stay with me if you decided you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“Oh really?” Y/N smirked. “Just like that? You’d walk away and that be that?”

“Yeah.” Bucky answered truthfully. “If you told me right now you wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, that you wanted me to get out of your life, I’d leave. No questions asked.”

“What? Really?” Y/N inhaled sharply.

“Yeah. I mean, it would hurt like hell, but I wouldn’t want to be the reason for your discomfort. Not anymore.”

Y/N stared down at him, the tears starting to well in her eyes for the second time that night. Bucky frowned, cupping her cheek and brushing the stray tear with his thumb.

“I mean it.” Bucky murmured softly. “You mean everything to me. If you give me another chance, I swear, I will make up for all the shit I put you through and then some.”

Y/N’s stared intently, a little crease starting to form between her brows. Slowly, a smile stretched on her face and she chuckled softly. Leaning forward, Y/N brushed her nose against him and tightened her arms around his neck. Bucky’s breath hitched and his grip around her waist tightened while his smile grew to match her own.

“Then I guess you better start making up Barnes. Cause I’m not letting you go.” Y/N whispered breathlessly against his lips before closing the gap. Fireworks exploded and a rush of euphoria swept over Bucky. He returned the kiss with equal vigor, savoring the taste and feel of his girl against him.

He didn’t know what he had done to deserve this, a woman who loved him despite all his faults and sins, but he wasn’t going to mess this up. Not ever again.

What Have I Done Tag List: (CLOSED)

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[gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights]

Rating: G

Chapter Summary: Nathalie and co. crash the party. This time, Alya is the one with the backup plan. Meanwhile, Ladybug and Adrien are both stupidly in love.

Word Count:  4294 | Chapter 4/4

Notes: Last chapter of the fic for @marinetteplztakeabreak commissioned through @mlbforblm!  The drive is over, but please check out the blog to see what everyone else has created and how to stay involved!

XXX

“I am telling you!  If you did not RSVP, you do not come in!  That is the rules!”  Philippe spread his arms wide, blocking the entrance to the rink.  Nino could barely see him through the crack in the double doors.  Philippe was a cool dude, but he wouldn’t last long against Nathalie, Adrien’s bodyguard, and tablet-Gabe himself.

Nino was tempted to go out there and turn the tablet’s power off, just to see what Nathalie would do.  But he didn’t want to get Adrien grounded for the next millennium.

Plus, he wasn’t supposed to be seen at all.  Kagami and Wayhem were on stalling duty with Philippe.  Nino just had to make sure that Nathalie wouldn’t find any trace of Adrien when she eventually forced her way in.

“They’re gone.  Finally.”  Chloé reported.

Nino nodded.  He’d seen a red blur leave through the window.

“Rose, Juleka, and I hid the presents behind the skate rental booth,” Alya said.  “Kim ate the rest of the cake, and Luka took XY to make out in the bathroom.  That should cover all the loose ends.”

“Why are you telling us that?”  Chloé gagged, and Alya rolled her eyes.

“Because XY’s obviously the weakest link here.  You said you caught him posting photos on Insta, right?”

“I did.  It’s a good thing you put me on the job.”  She flipped her hair.

Not that it mattered in the end, because Nathalie had found them anyway.  But the rink looked about as innocent as it could get.  With the presents hidden, the laser lights turned off, and generic pop music playing, they could’ve been a bunch of dudes on a regular Friday evening.

“Anyway, we’ll all be safer if XY isn’t here to spill our secrets for a little while.  You better go too, babe,” Alya said, squeezing Nino’s hand.  

“Go where?  Apparently Luka and XY called dibs on the bathroom.”  Besides, he’d planned this party, and he was going to see it through.  It was time to break his three-year-long failure streak.

Alya sighed.  “I’ll be ready to pay your bail, then.”

He gave a weak grin.  Like Adrien, he was still seventeen.  They couldn’t actually arrest him, right?

Considering the Agrestes were loaded, he wouldn’t take his chances.

The doors opened.  Nino did his best not to scowl at Gabriel’s face on the tablet.

“What gives?”  He asked, pretending like he hadn’t put weeks of planning into this moment.  “Did you get mad we didn’t invite you to our sweet party?”

“So you admit it,” Gabe said coldly from the screen.  Nathalie remained as still as a statue, like she was only there to display her boss’ face.  It was pretty creepy, honestly.  Adrien’s bodyguard was normally silent anyway, so that wasn’t as unnerving.

“Admit what?  That we know how to have a rad time, and you don’t?”  Nino put his hands on his hips.  His tone might be pushing it, but if he acted too nice, Gabe would never buy it.

“That you threw a birthday party for dsfkslksdkfklfdfk when I have repeatedly sdlfdsfsllkdf express disapproval.”  Gabriel’s face glitched out a few times, his voice blurring to something like a keysmash.  

Nino bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.  Man, he owed Max big time for this.

“Birthday party?”  Wayhem frowned.  He was a better actor than most of them.  “I didn’t hear anything about a birthday.”

“Today is my son’s sdsaskdlfirthday.”

Wayhem’s head tilted.  “You have a son?”

Nino choked.  Okay, maybe Wayhem was trying too hard, but the look on tablet-Gabe’s face was priceless.  If only he could convince Nathalie to take a screenshot.

“It’s Adrien’s birthday, dude.”  Nino punched Wayhem’s arm.  “We just couldn’t invite him, remember?  ‘Cause his dad’s a buzzkill.”

“I took him out for birthday orange juice to cheer him up,” Kagami told Wayhem, but her words were really directed towards Gabriel.  “A poor substitute for a party, but it was the best I could do.”

Gabriel’s eyes flickered, as if scanning as much of the rink as his screen would allow.

“Search the area.”

Adrien’s bodyguard nodded once, not that Gabe could see him from his angle.  Then he went off to inspect the rows of chairs.  At least he wasn’t starting with the skate rental booth.

“Be careful with my rink!  Don’t step on the ice without proper skating equipment!”  Philippe shouted.  

“Weren’t you listening?  He’s not here, dude—sir,” Nino corrected.  Not that it mattered much.  He’d already been as disrespectful as he dared. 

Gabe’s face glitched again.  “Where is my son now, then?”

Alya shrugged.  “Probably on his way home, right?”

“Alone?”  He practically snarled.  The tablet froze for a moment, catching his mouth open in an unflattering frame.  Maybe Nino could sneak his phone out and take a picture if he couldn’t get a real screenshot.  “Why wouldn’t he call his bodyguard?  Have you all dslkfddfsjljfdls irresponsible—”

“He’s with Ladybug, dude,” Nino interrupted.  Adrien’s bodyguard was getting close to the skates; he couldn’t afford to stall too long.  “He can’t get safer than that.”

For some reason, that only seemed to make Gabe seethe more.  But a neutral expression quickly replaced it, so maybe Nino was just imagining things.

“If sdlfkdfs your idea of a trick, you’ll have to—”

Kagami’s phone dinged.  Silently, she held up her screen to the tablet.  Nino couldn’t see what it showed, but Gabe’s mouth finally shut.

“Nathalie.  Return home at once and sdlfjkdssdls Ladybug has delivered my son safely.”

Nathalie’s expression changed for the first time, her eyes widening.  “But, sir, aren’t you already at—”

“Kskdlfskfl at once.”  The screen went dark.

Nathalie sighed, like Gabriel had taken the last bit of her composure with him. 

“Enjoy your not-birthday party,” she said in monotone before exiting the rink, her heels clicking against the concrete floor with each step.

Adrien’s bodyguard jogged after her.  His face was bright pink—he’d just come out from investigating the boy’s bathroom.  XY must have been useful after all.

Nino whistled once the adults were gone.  “What did you show her?”

Kagami held up her phone for him.  Adrien’s face was squished next to Ladybug’s in a selfie he’d posted to Instagram.  Her smile looked a little more hysteric than Alya’s Ladyblog photos could capture.  Actually, it looked kind of familiar.

But Nino didn’t think too hard about that, considering the caption Adrien had typed.

Escorted home by my favorite superhero!  I couldn’t ask for a more miraculous birthday present!! <3

If Ladybug looked awkward, it was probably just embarrassment at how cheesy he was.

“How did you get that so fast?”  Nino frowned.

“I messaged Adrien while you were stalling.  Unfortunately, he’ll have to return home to maintain the illusion.”  Her brows pulled into a scowl.  “I should have created a contingency plan for this.”

“What?”  Kim shouted.  “But I haven’t even won my bet!”

Alix cackled and stretched out her hand.  “Pay up, loser.”

Juleka ran her fingers comfortingly through Rose’s hair.  Max frowned down at his computer screen.  Others were murmuring to each other, looking downcast.  All of them knew how much work Nino and Kagami had put into this party.  All of them knew how much it meant to Adrien.

“Come on, we’re not giving up that easily!” Nino insisted.  “There’s gotta be some way to keep fooling Nathalie.  What if Max hacks the sound system again?  We can make it sound like he’s in bed snoring, or something.”

“Guys?”  Alya stepped up, waving her phone at the two of them.  “I have a better idea.”

XXX

Marinette.exe had stopped working.  Thankfully, Ladybug.exe could still run on backup power.  She tried to keep her cool as she swung them up onto the roof of the rink.

“Wait,” Adrien said before she could cast out her yo-yo again.  His breath was close to her neck, ruffling her pigtails. She did her best not to shiver.

“We need to get you away from here. Just in case,” Marinette said.  The silver limo was still parked below, but she had no idea how long it would take for Nathalie and Adrien’s bodyguard to leave the rink.

“They won't see us up here.  I can’t leave without making sure Nino is okay.  Last year, my father almost got him arrested.”

Marinette winced.  Of course, Adrien didn’t know that “Ladybug” was there for his previous almost-birthday-party, close enough to see the bruises on Nino’s arm.

“I hope he’s alright too,” she said quietly before gently setting him on his feet.  His arms were still secure around her neck, and his ring was a shock of cold where it brushed her skin.

His ring.  She’d never seen him without it.

“I—sorry!”  Adrien practically yelped when she did shiver.  His arms slapped back to his sides.

She couldn’t do anything but stare as red spilled across his cheeks.  It was him.  It had to be him.

Ladybug.exe was beginning to shut down too.  Maybe Max could reinstall her software.

“Ladybug?”  Adrien swallowed.  “We should probably hide a little bit better…”

“R-right!”

She let him pull her flat against the roof.  They laid there on their stomachs, her arm pressed to his, their fingers still twined together.  His silver ring gleamed against the red of her suit.

How was she supposed to breach the subject?  “Oh, by the way, I know you’re Chat Noir?”  It was his birthday.  He deserved a perfect identity reveal, not just her stupidly blurting whatever came into her head.  

His phone beeped, startling her.

“Sorry.  Kagami said to keep my ringer on in case of an emergency.”  He fished the phone from his pocket and set it on the roof.  They were close enough for Marinette to see the message from Kagami on his screen.

“She needs us to take a selfie?”  Her brow furrowed.

Adrien shrugged.  “It must be important.”

They sat up, still holding hands.  Her blush probably matched his by now, but if he hadn’t let go, why should she?

She shuffled closer to him, until her chin was resting over his shoulder.  Just so they would both fit in the camera frame, of course.  Not because she wanted to press her cheek to his, feel his blush on her skin.

Yeah, she wasn’t kidding anyone.  Except maybe him.

“Smile!”  He said, holding up his phone.

As if she could not smile when breathing in his radiant, carefree, dreamy scent.  When she knew more than ever that they were made for each other.

Her grin still looked a bit too wide in the photo, not like his perfect, brilliant smile.

“You’re still that happy?”  She couldn’t help blurting.  She had his model smiles memorized.  This wasn’t one of them.  It was too genuine, much more so than her tense grin.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”  He looked up from where he was typing out a caption.  “I get to spend my birthday with my—with my favorite superhero.”  His smile twitched, almost becoming a familiar smirk. 

She blushed, even though Chat Noir had said more flirtatious things to her than that.

“But your party might be over.  You didn’t even get to open presents.”  Which reminded her, she still had his present in her yo-yo.  Now didn’t feel like the right time to give it to him, though.

“The best present is how much my friends thought of me.”  He squeezed her hand.  “And I wouldn’t worry yet.  Nino and Kagami probably have a plan for this.”

His phone rang.  Nino or Kagami already?  Was the coast clear?

But the contact on the screen wasn’t either of them.

“Alya?”  Adrien asked after picking up.  “Is everything okay?  Nino didn’t do anything crazy, did he?”

Marinette strained to pick out what Alya was saying on the other end, but it was too muffled.  Adrien’s eyes widened.

“Uh…” To her surprise, he held out the phone to her.  “Alya wants to talk to you.”

Marinette blinked before holding the phone to her ear.  “Hello?”

Alya didn’t waste time with introductions.  “Sorry to interrupt your date, but I know a way we can save Adrien’s party.  Can I borrow the fox miraculous again?”

XXX

Alya played a few notes on her flute, and brilliant light streamed from the end.  It coalesced into Adrien’s sleeping form, nestled beneath the covers.  So realistic.  His back even rose and fell with the illusion of breath.

“Amazing,”  Marinette whispered as she crouched in Adrien’s windowsill.  She tried not to fidget as she kept lookout—not that Nathalie should show up anytime soon.  Even though Marinette had stopped to pick up Alya’s miraculous, they’d easily left the Agreste limo behind in the Friday evening traffic. 

Alya strapped her flute to her back and nodded.  “Probably a waste of effort.  I doubt Nathalie will even pay attention.”

Marinette sighed.  She was probably right.  If only she could take Adrien away for longer than one evening, one birthday party…

Soon.  Even if Adrien had to spend his days here, she would make sure his nights were full of freedom and laughter.  

Full of love.

Just as soon as she found out the best way to reveal her identity.  It was only fair, now that she’d figured out his.  And then everything would be perfect, and they’d go on dates in the park, and she’d sew him sweaters to wear over his suit, and he’d crack puns and she’d pun back, and— 

“You alright there, Ladybug?”  The faux eyebrows on Alya’s mask drew together.

“Yep!  Doing great!”  She grinned, face heating.  She had to be careful.  If she daydreamed too much in front of Alya, her friend might puzzle out her identity, too.

“We better go then.  Don’t want to leave your boyfriend waiting.”  She winked.

Marinette gaped.  “What?  He’s not—I mean, I wouldn’t mind if he was, but—”

She couldn’t date Adrien as Ladybug.  She’d known that even before she agreed to come suited up to his party.  But she hadn’t realized just how much of a mess it would be if Alya thought Ladybug was dating Adrien, and then Marinette showed up with him at school.

“It’s okay.  Practically everyone’s had a crush on Adrien at some point.  But Ladybug?”  Alya stepped close, then swung her legs over the windowsill so they were sitting side by side. “If you really want to be with him, you’d better love him, okay?  At least as much as my best friend does.  And I’m not sure that’s possible.”

Her face heated, but from what?  Embarrassment?  Intimidation?  She was being ridiculous.  Alya was comparing her to herself!

“I—I promise I’ll take his feelings seriously,” she said quietly.

Alya nodded.  “Well then, let’s go.”

With that, she leapt off for the next rooftop.  Marinette lagged behind for just a moment, though, glancing back at the illusory Adrien.

“He means everything to me.”

XXX

Adrien paced on the roof after Ladybug left.  He wasn’t sure what she was doing with Alya, or how they were going to keep Nathalie from realizing he wasn’t in his room.  She was Ladybug.  She always had a plan.

He did kind of wish she’d remembered to take him back inside first, though.

“So you’re just gonna sit out here?  You’re missing your own party!”  Plagg said, flying out of his hoodie.

“It’s alright.”  He swung his legs over the edge of the roof, kicking slowly back and forth.  The party had been amazing, and while he did want to be back inside, this was nice too.  The evening air, the bright moon, the phantom memory of Ladybug’s hand in his.

Did she actually like him?  Him?  No way.  She’d said she didn’t want to kiss him, and she’d acted a little bit off all night.

Maybe that was why he waited up here, rather than transforming and climbing down.  Somehow, he felt that if he could see her just one more time, he’d be able to understand.

His phone beeped.  He checked it immediately, heart pounding.  Was Ladybug okay?  Had her and Alya’s mysterious plan failed?

No.  It was Kagami, just checking on him.  He breathed a sigh of relief and began typing a reply.

“Boring.”  Plagg sighed.  “Wake me up when we get back inside.  I didn’t even get the chance to check out the cheese table.”

Adrien smiled and patted him as he snuggled back in the hoodie pocket.

I’ll be back soon, he typed.  Just waiting on Ladybug.

She left you up there?  Kagami sent back.  I’ll come get you.  Philippe is showing me a way up.

His eyes widened.  That fast?  Well, Kagami was never one to hesitate.

He didn’t even have time to write a reply before Philippe’s head poked up through a hidden trap door.

“Ah, there you are!  The man of the hour!”  He smiled.  “Your friend is looking for you.  She’s waiting below.”

“Thanks.  I’ll be down in just a second.”  He waved back, then turned his gaze to the horizon.

“Don’t take too long.  She’s very concerned about you.”

Kagami was always looking out for him.  It warmed his heart, even as he felt guilty for missing the party she’d planned.

“I won’t; don’t worry.”

Philippe disappeared down the hatch, and sure enough, Ladybug didn’t keep him waiting much longer either.  She dropped Alya off at the front door before swinging up onto the roof.

“You should be safe now,” she said with a smile.  “Your father will never know you’re here.”

He smiled back, suddenly overwhelmed with just how much he loved this girl.  Not only had she come to his party, she’d gone out of her way to make sure he didn’t get in trouble.  

Of course, Alya had helped with that too.  He’d have to thank her when he got back inside.

“Thank you, Ladybug.”  He fought back the urge to take her hand again.  He didn’t have an excuse this time.  Besides, he was around her all the time as Chat Noir; he should have enough practice keeping his hands to himself.

She just smiled back, looking as strained as before, like a balloon about to burst.

“Are you okay?”  He asked, reaching out vaguely before letting his arm fall back to his side.  Hands to himself.

Because she didn’t like him.  Probably.  Even if his love was like a drum beating its way out of his chest, so loud she’d have to be deaf to ignore it.

She laughed with her head in her hands.  “Why does everyone keep asking that?”  

“Um… because you’ve been acting a little bit weird all night, and if I did anything to make you uncomfortable, I want to be able to fix it.”

“You?”  Her head popped back up, revealing wide eyes.  “Worried about making me uncomfortable?”

“Uh… yeah?”  He wasn’t suited up, and “Adrien” didn’t have years of familiarity to fall back on.  Each casual touch could be misconstrued.

This time, her laugh was real, echoing over the traffic below.

“You’re too nice, you know that?”  She finally said.

“Um… thanks?”

Real eloquent, Adrien.  He was pretty sure he’d started the last three sentences with some variation of uh.

“I mean it.  You’re always too nice, and you’re always here for me, and I—I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner.” She hiccuped, and—and was she crying?  

“My—” he cut off before he could say my lady. 

But she just smiled, even as tears trickled down her mask.

“Your lady.  Yeah.”  She giggled, though a wet sniffle interrupted it.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get all emotional.  I planned out a whole speech on the way over, and then I saw you and it just—woosh!  Gone.” 

Your lady.  His… but then she…?

“You’re so cute when you figure things out,” she said, reaching out to take his hand.  “I hope you’re not disappointed.  I wanted to give you a more dramatic reveal, but I—I just love you so much, aaaaaaand I wasn’t supposed to say that yet either.”

She smacked her forehead with her free hand.  He was still gaping, his soul practically leaving his body.

“How could I ever be disappointed with that?”  He breathed, looking between her eyes and their joined hands.  He gave hers an experimental squeeze, and found that she squeezed back.  Sparks went off from his fingers to his toes.  “My Lady, this is the best birthday present ever.”

That was a lie.  She threw her arms around him, and that was the best present ever.  Every heartbeat was better, and better, and soon he was laughing and breathing in the scent of her hair, and she was laughing back and squeezing him so tight he could burst.

“I love you too,” he said against her neck.  “Obviously.” 

“Obviously,” she huffed.  “It wasn’t obvious to me.”

“Well, I’ll make sure it will be from now on.”  He pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against hers, to stare into her eyes.  A few freckles spilled out from under her mask.  He’d never been close enough to see those before.

“I’d appreciate that.”

He could’ve asked when, or how, or why she’d fallen for him.  What happened to the other boy she used to talk about? 

But that all faded in the face of her lips brushing his.  Hesitant at first, then wanting, needing.  This was better than anything he could’ve asked for.  A giddy laugh burst from his lungs to hers, and she pulled back.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly.  You probably weren’t supposed to laugh in someone’s mouth while you were kissing them.  “I got a little too excited.”

“Adrien.”  She cupped his cheek in her palm.  “Never feel sorry for being happy.  Or excited.  I’m so excited I could die right now.”

“Please don’t.”

She chuckled.  “Anyway, as much as I just want to keep kissing you, I should probably give you your real birthday present.”

He blinked.  If she had more in mind for him than that, he might actually die.

She flipped open her yo-yo and pulled something from inside.  A little vial?

“I remembered you saying that you hated Adrien: the Fragrance,” she started, rolling the glass between her fingers. A pinkish liquid sloshed inside.  “So I found out some scents that you like, and I put something together.  Making cologne is a lot like making the potions for our kwamis.”

“You… made this?”  He accepted the bottle, unscrewing the top to take a whiff.  It did smell wonderful.  Like roses and strawberries, with just a hint of rain.  Was it magical, like the potions she could create?  “This is amazing, my Lady.  But… when did I tell you I hated the fragrance they made me advertise?”

She smiled.  “That’s the other part of your present.”

His eyebrows creased, but before he could ask for clarification, she whispered, “Tikki, spots off.”

He stared wide-eyed as pink light washed over her.  When the sparkles faded, he gasped.

“Marinette.”  Her name tasted sweeter than the smells she’d mixed just for him.  “Marinette.”

He couldn’t say anything else.  His face was sore from smiling so much, but he couldn’t stop.  Ladybug was Marinette, and she loved him!

“That makes sense,” a voice said from behind him.  He almost screamed, but Ladybug—Marinette—slapped a hand over his mouth first.

“Kagami?”  She gaped.  Her hand fell from Adrien’s face, giving him room to turn around.  “What—what are you doing up here?”

Kagami crossed her arms over the lip of the trap door.  “Adrien didn’t come down.  Philippe told you not to take too long.  But I understand why you did.”  She nodded, as if thinking to herself.  

Adrien locked frantic eyes with Marinette.  Just because she was okay with revealing her identity to Chat Noir didn’t mean she’d be okay with Kagami knowing too.

“You… um… so how much did you…?”  He trailed off.

“I was waiting for you to finish kissing.  I’m told it’s impolite to interrupt.”

His eyes widened.  She’d been watching for that long?  He hoped she wasn’t upset.  Even if she didn’t like him romantically, it might still be awkward to watch him kiss someone else.

Marinette was bright red, but she cleared her throat.  “You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

“About your secret identity, or about kissing Adrien?”

“My identity,” she said quickly, looking more and more mortified by the second.

Kagami grinned.  It was a rare expression on her, but all the more special for it.  “I was only teasing.  Of course I will guard your identity with my life.”

Marinette smiled gratefully.  “Thank you, Kagami.”

“You’re welcome.  I’ll tell the others Ladybug dropped you off, so you were able to make it after all.”  She took a step down the ladder, before pausing and poking her head back up.  “And Marinette?  Thank you for taking care of him.”

“Of course.  He means everything to me.”

His heart warmed at the praise, at the way she said it so matter-of-factly.  

Kagami disappeared back down the ladder, leaving him and Marinette in silence that somehow felt both comfortable and vaguely awkward.

“So, uh… you don’t mind if people know that we kissed?”  He asked cautiously.

That finally made her laugh again.  “Of course not.  I was… well, I was hoping you were going to be my boyfriend.”

“Yes,” he said quickly, as if she’d change her mind.  “I mean—please let me be your boyfriend.  That would be the best birthday present ever.”

She took his hand again and squeezed it tenderly before slipping his cologne vial into his hoodie pocket.  He’d dropped it at some point while they were kissing.  Plagg, blessedly, did not complain, even though the little bottle probably bonked him on the head.

“Then happy birthday, boyfriend.”

[mattzerella-sticks]

Reflection, a Buddie fic, jealous!Eddie, 3.8k

Eddie Diaz knew a few things. His wife, Shannon, was no longer with them. While he will always love her, it was time for him to move on. Surprisingly, his heart already did without his notice. It set up camp in the hands of his best friend, Buck. And he was too late to do anything about it.

Because Buck has a personal trainer. Buck has a crush on his personal trainer.

If Eddie ever meets the man, he might dip back into his 'phase'. But knowing how that might hurt Buck, he hopes they never run into each other. At a party in Buck's apartment, there's a high chance their paths will cross. Only what happens when Eddie meets Buck's personal trainer?

Eddie stands in a corner, scanning the crowd for a particular face. Shoulders tense, expression smooth like the marble of Buck’s kitchen counters, he broadcasts a very clear message - stay away. Appropriate behavior if Eddie were back at his station overseas and not at a party. A party celebrating a very important person in his life.

He catches Buck’s eyes in the crowd, the other man in the middle of a conversation. Buck lights up, waving him over. Eddie declines, darting away to sip at his beer. Too slow to miss him deflate at the snub.

His heart stutters over itself. A low growl rumbles through his mind, sharp teeth chewing him out for causing Buck’s smile to dim by ten percent. Barks at him to push off from the wall and join him, even at the risk. Slide in close and interrupt Buck while he works through his fifth tangent. Because Eddie knows his friend loses the plot easier than a loose contact and everyone around him looks antsier than soldiers during a surprise mine sweep.  Eddie would then reel him towards an ending, helping lighten the social traffic.

It’s exactly what he wants to do. But a phantom hold keeps him from following through on the fantasy. The fear that, if he were to go over and enjoy himself, the very person he wasted already too much time searching for would surprise him and ruin his fun.

If there’s no fun had there’s none to ruin.

“You doing okay there Eddie?”

Hen and Chimney double team him, fencing him in and blocking his view of the entire party from his post. Any chance of escape stolen by Hen bracing her arm against the wall and Chimney spreading his legs in an awkward way that he finds comfortable. “So I’m not shifting around all the time.”

“But it’s a tripping hazard!”

Chimney smirked, “Too bad.”

Eddie frowns, carefully constructed mask slipping to expose his raw nerves. It rights itself in the next moment. Only the damage was done.

“What’s wrong?” Hen asks, “This is supposed to be a party! Why are you the treating it like a funeral?”

“I’m not -”

“Eddie’s not imagining himself at a funeral, Hen,” Chim interrupts, “no, no, it’s like he’s surveying a fire for any stragglers.” They snicker into their drinks, Eddie rolling his eyes at their antics.

“Real funny, you two,” he sighs, “Look, sorry if I’m being a little bit of a buzzkill but I’m not in the mood to party.” “Then why’d you come?”

He answers with a soft gaze towards the apartment’s entertainment section, Christopher sitting wedged between Denny and Harry playing with Denny’s Switch. Two more controllers added since his birthday, so they can all play Mario Party. Christopher shakes the controller madly to win whatever mini-game randomly chosen, laughing when Harry knocks into him.

“Hurry up dad!” Christopher urged Eddie. He waited by the front door, bouncing with excitement. Eddie shrugged on his jacket, telling him to be patient. “But I want to see Buck!” he said, grinning, “Don’t… don’t you want to?”

Eddie did, but he wasn’t alone. There’s another person here that probably feels the same flutter in his stomach whenever Buck’s form crosses their gaze. Except they can act on it, whereas Eddie has to wait for his stomach acid to digest those damned butterflies.

“That’s sweet,” Hen says, cup over her heart. “But that’s not explaining the stiff upper lip thing your face is doing.”

Chimney nods, “You’re no Brad Pitt but you have a better poker face than this, man.”

His lips thin further, and Eddie wishes a tornado would sweep through the room and suck him out of the apartment. It’s the only natural disaster he feels his family aren’t equipped to handle, meaning they’re less likely to rescue him from death. Although Eddie believes, even if a tornado found a way to travel across the Midwest and to Los Angeles without dissipating, his Texan blood would keep him alive for the fallout. “Maybe I would perk up a little if people stopped harassing me about why I’m not the life of the party?”

“Hey, don’t make us out to be the bad guys,” Chimney says, “we’re first responders.”

“We’re just doing our jobs,” Hen adds. Her finger pokes his chest three times, on the fourth Eddie waving it away.

Chimney steps closer, voice lowering to a whisper. “Really though,” he says, Eddie straining to hear him over the background chatter, “are you okay? You can tell us?”

“Was it therapy?” Hen asks, “I saw you leaving in a huff. Completely ignored me by the way…”

Eddie winces, unaware Hen saw him storm out of their therapist’s office. “My bad,” he winces, scratching his neck, “I would’ve said ‘hi’ if I saw you.”

“I know,” she says, “I could tell you weren’t paying attention. You had this intense glare in your eye like you had before we showed up.”

“Is that what it is?” Chimney arches a brow, “Something your therapist said that rubbed you the wrong way? A breakthrough you weren’t ready to hear?”

Chimney throws darts blindly and lands one close to the bull’s-eye without thought. Eddie bristles at how closely his friend’s guesses were. Although there are a few facts he has wrong.

Like the breakthrough Chimney thinks Eddie wasn’t ready to hear? Not true. Eddie understood his newfound feelings for Buck almost immediately. Already experienced the blinding, gasping fear that came with the development. Scared how things might change, to be around Buck, and what would happen if his affection went unanswered. Especially since he couldn’t hide his heart as easily as he thought. Frank sniffed them out at their session after Eddie’s revelation.

“Why did you shut down just then?” he asked, leaning forward in his wheelchair, “When you were talking about Buck.”

“I didn’t shut down,” Eddie said, crossing his arms. “I finished with the story… not much else to talk about.” Frank chuckled, rubbing at his eye. “What’s so funny?”

“Usually when it comes to the topic of your… friend , Buck, I have trouble getting you to move off the topic.” Shifting, he brings his pen to the notepad and scribbles a few words. “Has there been another rough patch in your relationship?”

Eddie scowled. “I wouldn’t say that. We’re fine.”

“Fine?”

“ Dandy. ” If falling in love with your best friend and coworker could be boiled down to a word, it wouldn’t be that. But did Frank expect Eddie to tell him the truth?

He did. They spent half the session verbally sparring about Buck, Eddie drawing his line in the sand and making sure Frank wouldn’t wheel across it.

“I thought you didn’t like talking about Buck?” Eddie growled. Squeezed the arms of the chair in an effort to keep his cool. “Why are you making this such a big deal?”

“Because you’re making it one.” Frank lost any pretense of entertaining Eddie’s efforts then, laying into the other man. “You think I’m being annoying with this? Imagine what might happen after you leave this room. How are you going to react when your mood shifts when talking to friends or family - or Buck? When you spend time with Buck will you shut down like you did earlier? I assure you that will only draw more suspicion your way.”

Eddie sunk into his seat. “I can handle myself…”

“Or,” Frank continued, “why don’t you let me help you through whatever you’re working through in this safe space. Where, I promise, there is no judgement.”

He mulled it over for a minute, giving Frank the benefit of actually considering his offer. A scene played through his mind, Eddie in the same room with Buck. Neither doing anything important than existing next to each other. In the sequence Buck turned to him and grinned, little birthmark rising slightly and eyes squinting like he stared up at the sun.

Eddie hoped his cheeks didn’t burn like they were in his head, in that room with Buck.

“Okay,” he started, thumb brushing back and forth across his knee, “if you want the truth…” It spilled forth rapidly, Eddie accidentally twisting the knob on his faucet off and unable to stop it. Went over how, after Shannon, Eddie didn’t know if the hole in his chest would ever be filled. That the pain from losing her once hurt so long, and this time her exit was more permanent.

But, without his notice, someone grabbed a shovel and set to work. Slowly Buck stepped into a new role. Went above and beyond what a friend normally did. Especially given his own condition, dealing with the possibility that his career and life were forever over. At first Eddie thought Buck used his time with him and Christopher as a distraction. To numb the terror of not being able to return to the firehouse. Except the cast came off, and Buck stuck by their side. Became even bigger parts of their lives. Sometimes he picked up Christopher from friend’s houses when Eddie or Carla was busy. Or joined them in grocery shopping. Stayed late into the night, helping Christopher to bed and chatting with Eddie until it was one in the morning. No matter how hard Eddie begged, though, Buck would return to his apartment. Eddie watching him hop into his Uber and waiting until he received a text from Buck to go to sleep.

“God,” Eddie scrubbed his face, “I had it bad for him this whole time and I didn’t notice?”

“You wouldn’t be the first,” Frank comforted him, smiling, “When we go through trauma, it’s easy for things to fade into the background while you heal. Things change, around you and inside, that you might not notice for awhile because the immediate pain takes up all your attention.”

“I guess you’re right,” he sighed, “I spent so long being glad that I had Buck… I didn’t examine those feelings too closely because I was just happy that the pain from missing Shannon wasn’t there.”

“And when Buck abandoned you, as you mentioned in a previous session…” Eddie shifted in his seat at Frank’s choice of words. “How did you feel? Really feel? Looking back on it with the clarity you have now?”

“I… I don’t know,” Eddie said, “I guess it… pushed me over the edge. Two people I loved choosing to walk out on me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Felt like I was letting Christopher down because I couldn’t give him a stable home… was more like a hotel with one of those revolving doors. It made me mad. And I wanted to hurt people, because maybe then I wouldn’t be hurting inside... God,” he wiped his eyes, laughing, “Buck was right. He was part of the reason I had my… phase . If he found out… his ego was insufferable before.”

“Your confession is safe with me,” Frank told him, “I’m glad we could work through this in today’s time. If you held out a bit longer I was afraid we’d be cut off in the middle and it’d be forever to get you to where we’re ending today.”

“Thanks, Frank,” Eddie said, standing, “I… I needed this.”

He scheduled another session the following week, proactively dealing with his issues. While they covered many things in the hour there were still more to discuss. When his next appointment arrived Eddie wasted no time dumping the remaining worries at Frank’s feet. Like a man dangling off the edge of a skyscraper begging for someone to help him away from the edge.

Frank hauled him onto solid ground with sound logic. “If Buck is all that you say he is,” he explained, “than in the possibility where he didn’t return your feelings occurred, he wouldn’t call it quits like that. You need to have a little faith that things can turn out good.”

“It’s hard, though. When every time I have that faith it all goes sour on my end.”

“Well maybe this time things will turn out differently.”

Eddie took Frank’s advice, deciding that the next moment alone with Buck he would hand him his heart and pray he kept it.

However he could never be alone with Buck.

In the following weeks, any chance where they were the only two in the room was spoiled by a third party joining almost immediately. From fellow firefighters to random strangers. Christopher, when Eddie tried sneaking out to meet Buck. Caught and forced to bring him along since he cannot say no to his son. While at the park, watching his son play, he thought about telling him there. But then Athena walked in, apparently on patrol. So desperate Eddie considered faking an emergency so he could claim the ambulance for him and Buck and confessing on the way.

Eddie was desperate.

Instead of risking a felony, Eddie went with an even riskier option.

“Buck,” he sidled up to his friend, swinging an arm over his shoulders, “You good to join me in the gym for a little one-on-one?” Not the safest place given how accessible their gym was in the open floor plan. If he timed the barbell lifts right, Eddie could give them some protection.

Buck deflated, stepping away from Eddie’s hug. “Sorry, Eddie… no can do.”

“What? Why?”

He frowned, tilting his head in confusion. “Really? You know why…” At Eddie’s silence, Buck continued. “Ever since the accident I… I can’t work out like I used to. I had to switch up how I do things and… find new ways.”

“Oh,” Eddie mirrored his expression, “How, uh… how have you been exercising then? Because - I mean - you’re still looking fit and everything and you had to keep up your strength when going through training of course…”

Buck smiled, ducking his gaze to hide a blush. The sight of flushed skin sent chills racing down Eddie’s spine. “Been doing some classes, got a personal trainer… who I really like. He’s - uh, he’s cool. Derek, I… it’s been different, but uh - uh new. In a good way.”

A good way. Said to the floor yet Eddie still bears the brunt of the blow. Repeatedly suffering with each mention of ‘Derek’. Especially since, after first finding out about him, he becomes a recurrence in his life.

“There’s this really cool trick Derek showed me that’ll cut cramp recovery in half the time.”

“Derek, he had this really funny story he was telling in the middle of our planks…”

“I didn’t think yoga was that effective, but after one class with Derek I can see why people do it.”

Derek. Derek. Derek. He took his place in Buck’s life as his exercise partner without him knowing. The longer he waits the better chance he has of graduating from ‘trainer’ to ‘boyfriend’.

But Derek keeps him at bay. The specter of him shadows every conversation they have. Eddie imagining telling Buck his feelings only to be shot down because some random guy swooped in and struck the scalding iron while Eddie didn’t even know the metal was hot. As more time passed, Eddie sparingly saw his friend.

“It could be nothing,” Frank said. Eddie ignored him, pacing the room. “If you talked to him -”

“I mean it’s perfect,” Eddie spiraled, “being a trainer means that he can get close without there being any questions. Touch Buck’s muscles or - or press his chest to Buck’s back while showing him how to do a move or whatever.”

“If he does then that’s harassment, Eddie. Buck pays him to be his trainer and nothing more.”

“But it could be something,” Eddie turned to him, “The way he talks about Derek… there’s this stupid smile on his face that he gets when he has it bad for someone. Had it when he told me about Abby, when he was with Ally... “

“Did he ever have it when he was with you?” Eddie stayed firm in his silence, refusing to answer him. Frank continued, undeterred. “You’re jumping to conclusions without all the facts. If you talked to him -”

“It wouldn’t make a difference! He’s already gone on some other lucky jerk.”

“And is that so bad?”

He stiffened. “What do you mean? Of course it’s bad!”

“I don’t believe you think that,” Frank said, “To me, it sounds like you’re using this Derek as an excuse to back out of confessing your feelings to Buck. You’re afraid Buck might say no. Having Derek there is the perfect option because if he’s in Buck’s life than you don’t have to tell him.”

Eddie imploded. Glared at Frank, biting down every bit of bile he wanted to spew at his therapist. Swallowed it all and stormed from the room before he did something he regretted. Carried that dark cloud with him from the parking lot to Buck’s apartment where they surprised him with another party. Celebrating him being off blood thinners and hopefully not have it end like last time.

“What happens in therapy stays in therapy,” Eddie mumbles, pushing off the wall, “now if you’ll excuse me.” He escapes them, squeezing through the sewing needle loop between Hen and Chimney.

They follow, matching his hurried pace. Trying to carry the conversation even though Eddie keeps dropping it.

Luckily he sees a distraction by the mirror. Christopher stares at himself, smiling. Eddie walks over and crouches down next to him. “Hey, buddie, what are you looking at?”

“Denny said I had a piece of spinach stuck in my teeth,” Christopher says, “but I… can’t see it.”

Eddie studies his son’s teeth, aware of the figures standing behind him. “I don’t see it either.”

“Denny probably did that so he could cheat,” Hen sighs, “boy is the sorest of losers.”

“You should get back to your game, then, before you end up in last place.” Eddie squeezes Christopher’s shoulders, resigned to losing his shield against the circling vultures. He reaches forward and places a hand on the mirror’s frame, using it to steady his ascent.

At full height, Eddie notices his reflection fading somewhat. Suddenly a figure pops up, smiling and sweating, frozen in mid stretch.

“Whoa, whoa, hey,” Buck rushes over, smile twitching with nerves, “what, uh… what’s everybody doing?”

Chimney jerks his thumb at the scene. “Wondering why there’s a man trapped in your mirror?”

“There is?” Buck feigns surprise, eyebrows disappearing into his hairline. “I don’t - I don’t know how he got there?”

“What? Of course you do, Buck,” Maddie says, joining the conversation, “I helped you set him up and everything.”

“Maddie -”

“Maddie,” Chimney cuts Buck off, “you know what’s going on?”

She nods, pointing to the man in the mirror with her cup. “Being Buck’s sister I was the only one who was forced to listen to him complain about how he was going to lose everything he worked so hard for. Just because he couldn’t work out like he used to because of the accident. One day while listening to him go on and on about it this ad popped up for mirrors that double as personal trainers.” A string snaps in Eddie’s mind, the sound echoing madly. He looks over to Buck, the other man watching his feet while his ears burn. “Anyway I said I would personally buy this mirror for him if it would get him to shut up. He agreed, but only if he liked it. Day after it arrived Buck wasn’t complaining anymore. Best paycheck I ever spent…”

“Wait,” Hen glances between Maddie and the mirror, “so this is a personal trainer?”

“Yeah,” Maddie leans over to tap the glass, despite Buck’s attempts to stop her. The screen shifts and an array of faces smile at them. Derek’s larger than the rest, head enlarged and name clearly labeled below it.

There he was. Derek .

“You can pick from a whole array of trainers depending on what classes you want. It’s really interesting, and Buck seems to like it.”

“Maddie -”

“I figured you all knew about it since he’s replaced complaining with praising his trainer Derek,” she chuckles, elbowing her brother. “Little teacher’s pet.”

“ Maddie .”

Their small crowd thins after that. Christopher returns to his game, and Chimney leads Maddie towards the kitchen to steal some more food. Eddie stares at Derek, a mixture of confusion and relief churning in his stomach.

Hen sidles up to him. “You wanna know something?”

“What?”

“That Derek guy kind of looks like you.”

Eddie whips around in shock, ready to fire a denial. She dips before he can pull the trigger, safe by her wife’s side. Loaded and nowhere to go, Eddie looks at Derek. Sees how, in a certain light, they could be reflections of each other. However Derek’s hair is much longer than his, pulled tight in a bun, And there’s a mole under his nose that draws the eye to it without trying.

Derek disappears, the mirror returning to normal. It’s his face gazing back at him now, Eddie’s a few inches to his side.

“So,” he says, “you’ve met Derek.”

“Yeah. I did.” Eddie turns to him, “Why didn’t you tell me he was in your mirror? I’ve been here how many times, used this mirror, and it had a double life?”

“I… I guess I was embarrassed,” Buck tells him, wringing his hands, “of…”

He guesses, “Of him being in a mirror.”

“Well, that,” Buck says, eyes bouncing around the room, unable to meet Eddie’s stare, “and, because…” His words dissolve into dust.

Eddie understands. Finally sees what he needs. An emotion reflected in his own eyes, not distorted by doubt or fear.

“Y’know,” he starts, running a hand across the mirror’s surface, “this is pretty cool.”

“...It is.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, smiling at Buck’s face in the mirror, “think you could invite me over the next time you use this?”

Buck frowns, “Why? You already got a good routine going.”

“I’ve been in the mood to shake things up,” Eddie tells him, “and besides… I missed working out with you.”

“You did?” Mood shifting rapidly, Eddie swoons at the dizzying grin lighting up Buck’s face.

“Of course…” Eddie’s hand runs across Buck’s reflection, petting his chest, “there’s a lot of time I have to make up for. We can start with exercise and… go from there.”

Buck nods enthusiastically. “I’d like that.”

The party goes on without them, both men are lost in their own world. Eddie feels the darkness that ate at his heart fade, replaced by the warm embrace of understanding. In lieu of talking Eddie prepares for his exercise date. Stretches the words in his mind so they’ll be ready for the day. Imagines how it will go. And, when successful, Eddie kisses Buck. Derek long gone from the mirror. Only them captured inside it.

[jess-the-vampire]

Sky And The Forces Of The Multiverse, Chapter 37

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-Angel was in slightly better spirits the following day, in fact he and sky both were, the two of them surprisingly hanging out together and talking. Angel was smiling more then usual, and so was sky for that matter. Though with the mess that happened no one could really blame them either, seems both of them being targeted seemed to have brought them closer then it did before.

With Sky spending time with Angel and Nora being busy with her mom surprisingly it left judas to focus on other matters, more specifically, his own younger brother.

Landon had been giving judas more of the silent angsty treatment ever since he got caught sneaking out of bed to check Queen Butterfly's office, though with their parents being alerted landon was in a world of trouble. The only bright spot of this being landon took the full blame for the situation, considering no one else had anything to do with this.

Even Celeste was ignoring the boy, giving him the silent treatment in her own frustration.

Landon's closest ally here, considering Bernard was on earth and could mostly on text landon throughout this.

Sky had promised to get in contact with Melanie as soon as she could and now that the scare was over it was back to business. And For the demon prince, that meant confronting his younger brother and dealing with this situation once and for all. His gradnfather was dealing with Fae, Sky was talking to Angel and was going to chat with mel, Sunny and Galexia were off going through the library with Katrina who'd been nice enough to lay off on judas as long as he didn't go anywhere beyond the two kingdoms.

Yep, back as usual.

Judas headed inside his room real quick, closing the door behind him, before he was going to talk to his brother he needed one more little thing. There was no point in delaying it, he needed to talk to his brother about what happened and what he did. Especially since landon didn't really mention it himself before, and whatever it was might be important.

Though he felt someone's presence in his room and he quickly turned on the lights, in a fighting post before he noticed the small girl sitting on his bed.

"Celeste?".

"Hello Judas".

The girl was kicking her feet on the side of the bed, "We need to talk about your brother...". She looked frustrated, frustrated at landon, frustrated she had to talk to Judas about this, frustrated she cared about this so much. Judas calmed himself down, with Celeste living here with them, he couldn't be surprised she popped into his room to see him, though he would've preferred a call or text beforehand.

"Yeah...I figured that's why you'd be here...we haven't exactly had the closest relationship here all things considered..."., the girl huffed but she had to agree, though granted she didn't have a close relationship much with anyone at all.

"Well considering luna ditched this place to live in the woods and sky's chummy with the spider guy...guess you needed another princess to talk to...and since sunny and lexi are out...you're stuck with me...but anyway...", She huffed, breathing through her nose, "Honestly normally i wouldn't go to you to deal with this stupid stuff but Landon doesn't listen to me...dealing with him is like-".

"Dealing with another you?", Judas continued with a hint of amusement.

"Don't push it...look we worked together on trying to start out own group because we thought you and sky weren't focusing on the task at hand and we got sick of it, then we ended up being worse then you because the three of us, luna me and landon...we're all buzzkills and we don't get along...I mean mainly it was blondie's fault but still...so then me and landon worked together...yada yada...he just wanted to be seen as a hero above you...".

"Yeah...I guess I had a feeling about that...".

"Look...I can't believe i'm saying this...but I care about landon...and helping him before well...I wanted to do it so I could go home and whatever...but He only cares about it to beat you and prove himself and he doesn't seem to care nearly as much about me and how I feel...your brother's a weirdo but i'm sick of him thinking he needs to do all this nonsense to be considered...someone...".

Judas looked astonished, clearly not used to celeste talking to him or anyone like this for that matter.

"I knew you both were close...I didn't know you both were...well... THIS close...but...I am really glad to see someone really cares about my brother this much...", Judas walked over to the girl, ruffling his hair, "I'm...me and landon don't get along on the best of days...but with everything going on I had to put the stuff aside with him, I knew he was doing stuff but I didn't know to what extreme or...really exactly why...".

"Well that's obvious...your family seems to basically ignore him...".

Ouch.

"Hey, I don't mean any harm by it...so much has just gone on and i'm set to be king...and...".

Celeste sent him a glare.

"Ok, It doesn't excuse my parents...but the situation is more complicated...and he knows that...", he took a seat next to her, "I know landon's not useless and he's talented in his own way...we tease each other but...I don't think of him as useless..". Though as the words left his lips he thought about it more, he really couldn't speak for how landon felt, even if he didn't feel like he did anything wrong intentionally.

"Even if I told him face to face...you know he wouldn't listen to me though...he'd tell me I was too perfect or something and go back to how it was before. I can't really...fix the situation, mom and dad can't just ignore me to focus all on him, celeste I get it...I just...what can I be expected to do about it? Landon doesn't even want to look at me sometimes...".

"Ugh...I'm not really entirely blaming you...I just want landon to stop caring about this stuff...".

"You know you can't-".

"I Know i can't make him...", she responded quickly, "But I don't know what I can do...I...I feel like he's going to hurt himself trying to be better then you..". She sounded actually worried, her fists clenching, "He's so frustrating, He craved attention and love from people but when we show we care he doesn't listen to anyone and it's just...UGH!".

Then she stopped, sighing.

"Yeah...guess he is kinda like me...".

"We can both talk to him...together...I would've taken sky but she's busy with angel today so...I'd be happy to have your company if you'd like to join me. We'll...see what we can do at least...". He seemed confident on the outside even if he wasn't much so on the inside, whatever landon felt, it was deep, and a simple talking to probably wouldn't just fix it.

But at least it might do something.

Judas helped his somewhat sister up and escorted her through the halls,Celeste grumbling under her breath, "You...did pretty well for yourself...yesterday...with the trial and the whole scene...". Celeste seemed to rarely hand out compliments, so Judas was happy to take it, "Hey it's ok...I was just protecting my friends...I was honestly surprised to see you get along with angel last night...talk to him and stuff...".

She went silent.

"I know opening up to other's is not something you tend to do often...but I think it was sweet. Just like how you healed my injury when sunny hurt me on accident that time.". She kicked at the floor, "I've seen people hurt before...I uh...I dunno...I can't help it...". She still seemed embarrassed to talk about it, even about her revealing why she knew so much about healing in the first place.

But Judas seemed to understand, not prodding any further, "Well...I'm glad you care so much...and I think it's great your so talented with healing injuries like that...it's actually hard to do so it's impressive to see you do so well at them with ease. You should be proud.". He almost thought he saw a smile on her face as they continued further down the hallway.

"I can tell you're scared about her...".

Judas felt his chest clench.

"Ever since Angel told you she had the book, you've been slowly been getting more bothered by it...more scared what anyone could do with the notes nora had on you. Y'know it's not going to do any good to ignore it...i mean I think people would get it if you're worried about some creep taking over your body and making you do things you don't want to do...", she spat at the floor, "You maybe wasted time when you could've helped but...no one wants you to go through that...".

"I know...I know...I think before with all the work on my back it was easier to ignore how nervous it all made me...but with sky taking the charge...well...I thought about it more...and what if i'm not as brave as I thought I was?", though as the words left his lips, he shook his head, "Maybe I am being too hard on myself...It's not about what others think...it's about what I think of myself...".

"And what do you think?".

"I think i'm not sure what'll happen if...anything happens...but I know no one will hold it against me...anyone that matters at least.", he took a deep breath, "I don't think I'm ever going to properly get over it...I've been haunted by this kinda stuff since I was a kid...sky knows it...she knows how much It scared me as a kid...and how terrified I was of myself for years...it's just...not easy for me to not be scared...even no matter how hard I try...".

His eyes looked over Celeste, eyeing her expression.

"I'm sure you've been scared a lot too...and felt you had to ignore it...".

Celeste again, said nothing, but it was as good as any yes.

The rest of the walk was quiet as they approached one of their family living rooms, where landon was currently grounded for the time being till it was meal time. Judas looking to his companion as the guards let them pass, at the very least landon might be able to help out or apologize or do something if they could get past his thick skin finally.

But that was a major if.

Regardless, there landon was, lying around with his violin nearby, bored out of his mind on the couch, sitting up at the sight of his sibling and half sibling. He seemed almost excited at first but his face dropped quick, because he knew exactly why they were here. He'd already been scolded by his parents earlier that day, forced to stay here till further notice as punishment.

Though at least it meant he didn't have to see anyone.

Until now.

He turned his head away, grumbling, Celeste grabbing a nearby pillow and throwing it at him, "You could've gotten HURT! Something could've happened to you out there and we'd have no idea! Being exposed to magic too much is dangerous! And lucifer, no matter what i say to you you don't seem to listen to a single word of it, do you? ". Celeste got mad quick, judas unsure what to do though first he took Celeste's arm before she could throw anything else at the demon boy.

"HEY! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!?", Landon hissed, "Jeez...you guys make it sound like I was the one robbing everyone, I just went to peek at the findings, you would've done it too if you had been given the chance considering how much you guys sneak around behind our parent's backs...the secret meetings? All the times you evaded katrina? Don't go acting like you're such a upstanding demon prince...".

That seemed to shut the two of them up, Landon standing up and grumbling.

"You guys might have never gotten a chance to see what I saw without me...I helped...even if It was because...I wanted the upper hand...", he mumbled that last part, "Look...can't I have this one? Just this once? I want to be the successful brother...just once...I'm so tired of my brothers being so imfamous for doing this and that and everyone just...GOD!".

Flames seemed to erupt from his fingertips as she stomped the ground.

Then he simmered.

"I'm so sick of...everyone thinking i'm useless...I have to hide out in a stupid coffee shop club thing to even feel some sense of...importance...".

He sniffled, "Just let me have this...ok?".

"Landon...".

"Don't landon me...even if it's not your fault...even if...even if i'm a failure...I just...I WANT this...I'm so sick of feeling second rate...or even third rate...I don't need to prove anything to you...I want to prove it...to me...", he turned away from his siblings, "I'm good at music...but...that's it..i'm not magically remarkable...i'm not good with emotions or feelings...I want to feel like I matter judas...".

"Landon..you do matter, you matter to everyone...me, celeste, our parents, mason...Bernard...", Judas placed a hand on his brother's back, trying to soothe him, "Landon...even if...you don't feel important...or loved...I want you to know we all love and care about you...I...don't know what would happen to me if...something happened to you...you're my brother landon...".

"You can't make me feel differently...".

"Maybe not...but...I still want to tell you regardless...", celeste tapped her fingers together, seeing the brothers come face to face. "Landon...I'm not doing this because I want more attention...or to be better then anyone...I want to do this because...I want to help celeste and sunny and galeixa and...luna...they have people to get back to...people who love them as much as I love you...frankly...I always wished I could be you...".

"What?", Landon almost sounded...surprised.

"Everyone looks at me like a freak most of the time...it'd just be nice...to not have that kinda attention...to not have so much pressure on me...to have the freedom to do whatever I wanted without so much on my shoulders...but...I don't have that choice...so...for now...i'm going to do the best I can...by helping out my friends...and keeping them safe...landon you don't have that pressure...you can be whatever you want...do whatever you want...not to impress anyone...but to make yourself happy.".

"You wanted to be me?".

Judas nodded, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Landon...I...can't change how you feel...I can't change what happened...but you have the chance me and mason don't have...the chance to make your own life how you want it, no pressure from anyone stopping you...landon you can do so much...and I know you have so much to give...maybe you need time to see it...but you have so much potential..".

"You're just saying that to make me feel better...", Landon shoved his brother's hand off of him, "I'm useless...if not useless i'm forgettable". Though as he turned around someone grabbed his shirt from the back and tugged, and considering how well landon knew the two people behind him he could easily tell which one it was. Celeste made him turn around and face her, her arms crossed and her eyes away from his.

"Dude if you were forgettable, do you think i'd be spending so much of my time trying to help you? You're not useless, you held part of the investigation yourself, that's not useless...you're not useless landon...you should stop being so down on yourself...those idiots insulting you don't deserve your time and attention. You keep doubting yourself...you don't need to catch some weirdo to be cool.".

"You're right...you can't change how I feel...but without this...what do I have?".

The two looked to each other before back at landon.

"Well, you have a lot of time to think about it...you don't need to know right now...but you'll get there someday...", landon seemed to have finally calmed down a little bit, pacing around the room. "I'm sorry...I can't help it...every time I think i'm going too far i think about the...my situation...I think about what I could be and what It is now and I can't help it.".

"I know...".

"I...I'm not trying to sound selfish...I just...I don't want to...deal with this any longer...".

He paused, getting onto his knees on the floor, "I'm...sorry for being a butt I guess...you got separated from your family and I guess I've made the situation about myself..when it's kinda...terrible.". He actually did kinda sound like he actually felt sorry, in fact he looked tired more then anything. Like keeping all this buried inside him ate away at him.

And it probably did.

"It's alright landon...we'll take it a day at a time...is that ok?", judas kept his distance from his brother but seemed to constantly be checking to see if his brother was alright or not.

and with a small nod, that was enough.

"What I saw...what they found...", he started, "W-when the explosion happened...it seems the uh...person under the mask did get hurt...well I mean...I think so...they didn't seem to find them but...their mask...their mask broke...they collected it.". He looked up at his companions and judas processed the information before looking to celeste, "I'm guessing since they don't know who it is still..they got no dna off the thing?".

"Maybe...".

There was a silence between them, only stopped when just let out a large sigh.

"I'll...ask out parents about it later...maybe have sky come with...we'll look into it...but if they lost their mask...then their face must have been exposed...unless...they had another mask...they're magic after all they can change clothes with it.". The blast was bound to do damage but if it broke their mask then what did that mean for their face? Queen Butterfly had been in the presence of those blasts before and they had varying effects.

Sometimes destroying your entire body, sometimes leaving you unharmed if you were good at self healing to any degree, sometimes it just depended. Magic was unpredictable after all, and in ways that only made it worse for the people who had to use it. Though whoever was out there, if the blast was enough to break their mask, it as bound to hurt a little.

"Thank you landon...for letting us know...".

As conflicted as landon's emotions were, he did actually seem rather happy to have helped regardless.

This was going to take some work if they were ever going to sort things out together with landon, what he was dealing with was deep and wouldn't be solved with a simple conversation. Judas watched the sad face of his brother and felt his heart sink some more, making a mental note to himself to spend some more time with his brother in the near future if he could.

"I...hope mom and dad weren't too hard on you...", landon's ears flickered, "They weren't...they knew I meant no real harm...they're just...upset I snuck into her office during an emergency for seemingly my own selfish needs...mom was just kinda disappointed in me but they didn't do anything too bad...just grounded me...I didn't tell them I decided to join in your little gang...because they'd assume you learned nothing...they think I did it myself...".

"Well...I guess that's a relief...but...are you sure you're ok with that?".

"Well, you had nothing to do with me doing this...so...yeah", the scene still felt a little tense and awkward but landon wasn't mad anymore and judas and celeste got out what they wanted to say. Landon went to take a seat back on the couch, keeping to himself, "Look I just need to be alone for a bit...ok? And i'm sure you both have better things to do out there then stay here...".

They exchanged looks, knowing landon wasn't entirely wrong, though neither seemed to want to leave him alone like this.

"We can hold off for a bit...I think sky's going to be busy for quite a while anyway...", and then proceeded to take a seat next to his brother who looked pleasantly surprised, celeste joined him, curling up on the couch. Landon, who had told them to leave, didn't protest, in fact instead of arguing against it, had a smile creeping among his face. Looking over to his violin nearby.

"You guys...want to hear my new song?".

"So this Melaine girl?".

"My earth pen pal...she's into theories and pop culture on earth and aliens and all kinds of stuff...I thought maybe since she's been helping put theories and pieces of evidence together...she'd be perfect to consult and get more from...", Sky pulled out her compact to text her friend, angel sitting on her bed, clearly a little awkward being alone with her in her room.

"How'd you meet?".

"Went to earth to meet my grandparents, plus my moms love earth to death...they like to go to do fun stuff and get off mewni once in awhile. You might like earth, it's weird but kinda neat. Anyway mel saw me and saw us do magic and was ENTHRALLED ever since, especially finding out i'm basically an alien almost since she's obsessed with extraterrestrials."

"Extra...what?".

"Aliens...it's an earth thing...".

"Ah...", he still didn't seem to have any idea what she was talking about but maybe it was better not to ask further. It would take sky all day if she had to explain exactly what aliens where, and why earth was obsessed with things that probably weren't nearly as weird on mewni. On earth lizard people were a conspiracy, on mewni they were people sky saw get groceries every day.

"Hopefully she can help us out, having an earth pal who knows like..earth things and makes connections better then me sometimes is really handy...though uh...be careful. Mel's cool but she's also a little...well she doesn't know mewni too well so she makes a lot of assumptions based on earth stuff, it's not her fault, just don't be surprised if she..well...is incorrect about stuff.".

Angel now looked even more puzzled then he was before.

"Just follow my lead...", she smiled when melaine texted her back, the human eager for another video call.

"Human compacts work on our own?".

"Yeah? Who knew?", she laughed in utter embarrassment, at least she wasn't the only one who hadn't known that.

"SKYY!"

"MEL!".

"I'm so glad you called, I missed ya! Is the fact you're asking for my help mean your parents finally ungrounded ya?", Sky made a face, glancing over to angel, "Yes and no kinda...but...nevermind that...mel I'm going to update you on everything we know, I want you to help us as best we can...put the pieces together...you're kinda made for this honestly.".

Melaine's eyes lit up, a sparkle in her dark eyes that could light up galaxies.

"YESSSS".

She immediately started grabbing papers off the shelves, making a huge mess around the room, Angel took a seat closer to sky to get a peek as to what was going on on Melanie's end. His four eyes blinking in curiosty at the excited human piling stuff everywhere messily. He'd seen her at the sleepover but other then that, this was his first time REALLY meeting her.

Sky could only hope melaine didn't make it painfully awkward considering how much she used to complain about the boy to mel.

Mel was luckily occupied setting up before jumping into frame with a notepad and pen, papers trapped in her wild curly hair.

"So where do we begin!?"

Then her eyes looked to angel's and she almost squeed, "Is that spiderboy?! Sky, i didn't know you were bringing spiderboy!". Sky suddenly felt a bit of secondhand embarrassment as angel looked at her quizzically, "It's just a nickname she has for you...uh...mel?". Her attention went back to her earth friend, who was already sketching angel out for her board.

"Yep?".

"His name is angelus...or like..angel for short? I think he'd prefer that. Please?".

She signaled with her face to mel this was one of the times she really needed her to listen, and Melaine...thankfully, listened.

"Alright, Angel spider, got it...".

Well it was better then nothing, they had work to do.

Sky and Angel started listing off a few new details that had been caught up, the human girl writing them down with the speed of a race car and pining them up on her board, covered with articles, notes, pictures and more. Melaine was used to this, after all she made plenty for the mothman and for the mole people sightings before, this was like tying her shoe for her.

Even angel seemed impressed, he didn't know all that much about humans outside of the ones that visited mewni and jude and sky's own moms, much less about human culture and what humans did with most of their time. Though granted, considering angel was rather sheltered, there was a doubt angel would even know people made theories and stuff like this at all to such an extreme.

"You...found a person who spends her time organizing facts and coming up with solutions?".

"Kinda...sorta...yeah.".

Maybe she outta leave out the other stuff melaine does like go out hunting for lizard people and reading up on horrorscopes, angel seemed confused enough without her explaining the rest of melaine's active lifestyle. Melaine seemed especially excited at the mind parasites, much to angel's discomfort, though at the very least she didn't focus so much on his mom and more on who could access them.

"Any enemies?", she asked Angel, who shrugged.

"Honestly...we haven't made enemies for a long time...our kingdom just kinda...sunk into the shadows, avoiding conflict as to not make anything any worse for ourselves. We fought back when the spiderbites took over but other then that, and well..solaria...", he went silent for a moment, "We never had much of direct conflicts with monsters...especially not recently...".

"And i doubt the spiderbites would poison your mom, they have no reason to, they seem to talk with each other fine...", Sky piped in, "No one has any real reason to attack you or your mom...". Then sky tapped angel on the shoulder, "Is there anyone who'd have anything to gain by hurting your mom? Or i dunno...maybe they were trying to get someone else and ended ep with your mom?".

Angel looked visibly uncomfortable, and sky quickly reached out to him.

"Sorry...maybe i should...uh...".

"No...it's fine, I know there's no easier way to ask me stuff like that without mentioning her...", he tugged at his light pink hair, huffing, "I don't know sky...even If i were to blame the one under the mask...I don't know who is under the mask, rendering it all back to same question...I...personally want to think it was all an accident If i can help it.".

"Well, it could be...if one got out and ended up on your dinner table because someone didn't know it wasn't good to eat...then yeah.".

He seemed a little more reassured from that statement, something about someone coming after him seemed to only increase his worry and anxiety. He already had one masked foe who was pissed with him, what if he had another? Melaine was writing stuff down and sky was wondering what she could possibly write if there were no enemies to really speak of.

Though as she placed more on her board sky could tell they were drawings of the spiderbites, the masked foe, solaria, and everyone angel mentioned basically.

Guess even if they weren't at fault melaine felt they were important enough to at least mention.

"Skyler?".

Sky turned to her companion on the bed, who coughing into his fist, ears folding.

"Yeah?".

"A lot has happened...recently and I...I know it's hard to properly forgive me...and maybe to a degree you also feel bad because of...everything that happened before. But I um...wanted to suggest, we...um...uh...", Angel's social skills were pretty on par with a mushroom at this point, he'd clearly still had a long way away till he could properly talk to others without stumbling a little.

Though Sky was more then used to it at this point, and despite his stumbling she seemed to tense at his wording.

"Are you asking me on a date?", Sky looked at him, shocked, though he was quick to devolve the situation and try to explain himself better.

"What?! No no no no no no no NO No, I mean...", he looked embarrassed,red and ears pressed against his face, "I was hoping we could properly make amends...I want to make amends...I still feel guilty...I want to make it up...if you'll let me?". Sky seemed oddly charmed as awkward and embarrassing as that was, smiling and trying to keep her cool, "Yeah, that sounds...nice...honestly...I want to maybe try and make some kinda amends as well...if possible.".

He smiled back, the embarrassment flushing away from his face, angel smiling these days was a treat honestly.

Thankfully mel was distracted enough not to notice the scene, heck knows what she would say, she had a loud personality and was quick to make assumptions sometimes and that was something sky already needed to work on with her before she got herself in trouble for it.

She finished setting up and turned back to the royals, "Alright then, so there's my set up, i'm going to start working on this right away, text me any info you get on any of this, i'll keep adding and text you any revelations I can come up with...". She immediately started using markers on the board, typing together the pieces she knew connected together before pulling a book out of her messy bookshelf and holding to to show them.

"Maybe considering the proof of the multiverse, maybe you should study up on the stuff? I've been going through these books ever since you told me about it, maybe you can use it to help make some cool magic...". Sky glanced to her gemstone before going back to melaine, "Well...uh...maybe yeah? Thanks mel...uh...maybe you could send me some picks of the most relevant chapters?'.

She sent sky a thumbs up, "Gotcha! Oh, and if you see me any mothmen, send me pics as well! I made a bet with some classmates!". The mention of a mothman seemed to make angel puzzled though he didn't dwell on it too much as sky motioned to him that she'd try to explain it all later. Melaine on the other hand was eagerly waiting for her kinda sorta butterfly monster friend's reaction.

Sky sent her a thumbs up back as the screen turned black, returning the two royals back to themselves in sky's dirty room.

"She'll keep me updated...she tends to be good at that...".

"You...have a lot more friends then I realized...", he mumbled, "Uh...that's not to be rude or anything, I had just never seen you with anyone other then judas...you...seem to have friends all over.". But she was quick to stop him before he went on, "Nah...not really...I mean even if I ignored that mewni thought i was inferior or evil or something...i'm not good at...making friends...i'm not as friendly or easy to get along with as judas...or maybe at least...i wasn't when I was younger...".

"Perhaps we had more in common then we thought...", he added, "We always acted as if we could never understand each other and we were so different...but...maybe we were wrong."

And when she thought about it a little more, he was right.

That almost made her smile a little more considering how funny that was, though the thought of it quickly transferred to thinking about the bad aspects of their lives and she became silent. Angel was almost worried he said something offensive to some degree but sky shook her head and coughed into her hand, before asking the question she wanted to for some time.

"You still talking to eclipsa?".

Her question caught him by surprise, coughing into his hand, "Not since yesterday...after the trial...I um...I think she wants to speak to me after what happened last night regarding my mom but you've been with me ever since and she um...know you're not a fan of her right now, you're probably more angry with her then you are with me about what happened...why is that?".

"Hmm?".

"Sky...I...went behind your back, I was working for the enemy, even if i barely did much that harmed you while doing so...I still went behind your back...eclipsa went behind your back as well...but you seem more fine with me...then her.", she huffed as she laid back on the bed, "It's not the same, you both were doing it to protect me...but you didn't reveal this big team to my mom and get everyone in trouble...something we tried to avoid.".

"I always figured with you coming after me on your mom's orders...you well...were used to working under her...".

"I never liked working under my mom's shining shadow...I didn't want her fingers all over it, i didn't know what she'd do and i didn't know if she'd use this as another way to well...make me feel like...like i'm not good enough. That's one thing we can't relate to, my mom is a hero of mewni, i can't top that...and mewni knows it, i'm not as gifted as her...or as powerful.".

"You're powerful to me, even if you claim you aren't", he said back, and by his tone, he truly believed that.

"You haven't seen powerful unless you've seen mom, i don't compare.", sky was quick to tell him, god was she just good at beating up on herself? She tore herself down everytime someone gave her a compliment it felt.

"Well...you helped her help my mother...didn't you?", angel pointed out, "If she needed the help of another butterfly then clearly she wasn't powerful enough alone to handle the task.".

"Well I...yeah, i did but...well...I mean i was the one who got you to help...well tiny you...Angel your being too nice about it, mom did most of the work, i stumbled my way into that situation and she was the one who knew how to help at all...i'm not nearly as powerful if everyone else does the work and i accidentally stumble in and help somehow...".

"Well...I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of...you still did it, didn't you? Without you my mom...well...", he wasn't wrong, even her mom said herself she needed sky's help to even finish the process. Without her there nothing might've been fixed at all, angel didn't seem to care that she stumbled into it or didn't have the plan ready as long as she helped and cared.

But then again, angel didn't exactly care about sky's level of skill personally either, he thought she was powerful no matter what.

"I guess I still have some issues to work out...concerning my mom, i've been rethinking my feelings on her and maybe I was too judgmental...just assuming everything was easy for her...she...almost failed..without me to help. Though she's still...she's still so much more powerful and experienced...I've never been that way"., her voice was full of sadness and loss, in fact it seemed she no longer felt angry at her mom, but more sad then anything.

Though Angel was quick to attack that, huffing in that pompous way that he used to when they used to tease and mock the other.

"Well I for one don't see any reason you need to be as powerful as her to be great, you're clearly just fine without that power. This entire situation proves you have the ability to do so much, even if you're not the strongest at magic.", she smirked, "Well yeah, I guess the same goes for you, you spent your time training to use your powers? You're not perfect at it yet...but you're smart without it...sometimes...".

"Thank you...I think.".

"We should go...no point in staying here any more...let's find sunny", Sky hoped off the bed, "We'll...talk about what we wanna do together later...but for now the best thing we can do is keep focus on the task at hand and worry about it later." Angel got up and off the bed too, though his legs nearly knock down mannequin sky was using for one of her hat designs, catching it just in time.

"S-sorry...".

Sky quickly readjusting the thing as angel observed the sunhat, cute but still creepy with it's greens and eyes.

"This is for nora...isn't it?".

"It's not finished...but yeah, I promised her one awhile back but I got sidelined...but it's nearly complete.", angel looked at it with curiosity as sky looked between him and the hat, then away from both of them, thoughts rolling in her head as she changed the subject. "Y'know...nora reached out to you...she talked to you to help, how did she...your families didn't like each other for so long...how'd...", it was hard to get the right words out.

Though angel knew what she meant.

"Nora...and me...we...we didn't share the same hatred as our ancestors...we never really talked, nora was well...scared of me and I never put my focus on her...I feel like I put so much blame on you when nora's family took our land...but something about nora I can't really hate. Nora was just as alone as I was...she wasn't hateful or bitter...she was nothing but sorry and sympathetic...".

"and I was antagonistic if not ignoring you entirely...", sky finished.

"I didn't mind nora's help...I think...she's different from her family...but...I think we all seem to be in one way or another...".

"Maybe that's for the best...like you said.".

"Yeah, I hope so.".

Sunny's first instinct when seeing the two enter the room was to run up and hug them both, angel still not used to all the affection of these new friends but complying regardless. Sunny's smile was nice to see after that mess, she tended to always seem pretty cheery and happy and right now it was needed more then anything to helps them feel a little better.

"Good to see you! Let's get started.".

She quickly dragged them away from the door and further inside the library, katrina glancing up and waving as she went back to texting on her compact. The library was closed right now, outside of them being allowed in to look for whatever they needed. Giving them more freedom to look around, mostly for info on mind parasite and how to handle them.

Or masked creeps.

She and Galexia seemed to have gone through several books together, making sure lexi didn't draw on any of them in the process. Sunny probably had every page memorized by this point knowing her, her amount of research was impressive. Showing off her notes she'd been taking, "The Spiderbites and your mom is taking care of the same info but I thought best we got a good grasp on it as well...and yeah, I think our-your mom is up to something here...the symptoms match perfectly to previous victims of the bugs...weak memory, inability to control body, near parallelization...".

"I'm not sure if we should consider that a serious relief or not frankly", sky laughed, sunny shoving her nearest open book at her, "A relief! It makes it easier to fix if we're careful! The reason most people are too late is because it's so good at being a regular illness that they never think to cure it as if it were an parasite infesting their body! But it still needs care and if we're not careful can really hurt her...".

Angel jolted for a sec, suddenly nervous.

"But it's alright, we're working with professionals...once the bug is out she can heal properly...if she's not too damaged.", angel shuddered again, he almost wanted to leave the room but sky kept him still, trying to reassure him. "She'll make it through...what do we do to get it out?", sunny nodded to the page, "There are a few things that work, like evil repression charms...if luna were still here...we could've used her's but for now...we outta ask eclipsa.".

"Eclipsa?".

"She was the one to give luna her's right? I believe you told me that thing is practically a repellent that takes out dangerous and dark magic. That's perfect for weakening the bug inside of her.".

Angel and Sky exchanged looks.

"Is...that the only thing we can do?".

Sunny looked between them before remembering sky's current feelings towards eclipsa, "Well, no, of course not, we can do other charms to draw it out, and other spells, it was just an option...magical charms like that are a safe way of scaring the little buggers...it doesn't fully remove them but it does start to weaken them. But we can try another spell...though maybe we shouldn't conjure it...healing spells are more celeste's thing...and i'm never tried a cruse repenting spells before and...maybe we should wait for mom.".

"Ok...fine.".

"Hm?".

"I'll...ask eclipsa for one...".

She was very reluctant, but if it meant helping angel's mom, well...she'd be stupid to say no. Angel, knowing how mad she was, seemed super appreciative. He became a little less tense, his legs folding back behind them as to not accidentally hit anyone in his anxiety. Sunny looked equally happy, "Thank you! The sooner the better, it'll give it more time to take effect before we can do some of the other steps.".

"What are the other steps exactly? Nothing...crazy I hope?".

"Well, that depends on what the spiderbites and well...what your mom wants to do, the charm is just to slowly weaken it, removing it and convincing it to leave might still be hard, it is a magical being after all. But we have enough professionals we might be just fine, Arana's been fighting this long to keep it from destroying her from the inside after all...we're not giving up without a fight.".

"Is uh...lexi doing alright?", sky pointed to the brunette scribbling nearby, who looked up and waved at the three. Sunny laughing and turning back to the companions with cheer, "Well, I thought since lexi really wanted to help i'd play to her strengths, she's not the best at communication sometimes or with people, but she is great at speaking her mind through drawings and art in general...".

"What do you mean?".

"I mean I assigned lexi the role of our planner, with her dream knowledge and her abilities she can help plan ahead for what we should prepare for. Not to mention she's fantastic at design, she can visually interpret anything. And before you say anything, this isn't because i'm paranoid or obsessed with her...abilities, i think the best thing to do, is have HER be the one to deal with her own powers...if she finds something worth mentioning, she'll tell us.".

"You...think she can handle it?", sky said, worried and a little skeptic on if lexi would for sure know when to tell them anything significant. Looking at her drawings it was never really easy to be sure what they should be worried about or not, and it seemed like most of the time they were purely doodles and nothing that seemed logical enough to happen.

"Sky, ever since she's gotten here i've been the one talking to her the most, I know she can handle it, she's smart and great in her own way.", the girl was confident, she almost seemed like a proud mom as she looked over lexi. Sky knew they hung out a lot but she never really though heavily about it, at least about what they talked about or how they felt about each other. Sky had not talked to lexi much, and neither had anyone else that much either, so it was hard for her personally to say for sure this was something lexi could do.

But she did trust Sunny.

So she had to trust Lexi could do it.

"Alright then.".

"OH!", the small girl quickly ran over and collected her compact, excited, "Celeste texted me early today! She NEVER texts me, she wanted to let us know she was hanging with judas today to talk to his brother...er...landon. But I was just so happy cause celeste doesn't really talk to anyone other then landon so it was just...nice...having her speak to me.".

"How long will um...Judas be gone?", angel asked curiously, though sunny could only shrug, her focus had been elsewhere most of the day and judas could take as much time as he needed frankly.

"You'd have to ask him, i could text him right now if you want me to?".

"That's ok!", Sky interrupted, "He should get all the time he needs to deal with his brother...we'll talk to him when he's ready, anything else you want to share before we head out?". She was not looking forward to seeing eclipsa and was partially stalling for time, but she outta not leave until sunny provided her with any and all information she might need.

"Well...".

She tapped her toes, her third eye on them and her others eyes elsewhere. Whatever it was, she wasn't sure if she should say something or not, though considering the lack of time, better she came out with it now then ask later. "Sky...you're good with costumes and clothing right? I've been meaning to ask if maybe...you could...make me some costumes...?", she sounded as if this were embarrassing to ask, and sky's puzzled face was reason enough to explain sunny's worriedness.

"Why do you need costumes?", sky said, snapping back into reality, "Is this something to do with any of your plays or something? Cause this ain't really the time to be putting on plays or musicals right now when we got all this other stuff going on...". But Sunny shook her head, "No no...it's more like...with everything going on it's a lot harder to listen in on conversations and get details from the people, and I was thinking...with costumes we could sneak out and listen in on gossip or any news outside the castle walls...".

"You mean, you want me to make disguises?".

"Well yeah...you're so good with it...and it might help us out to walk around undetected...it'd be perfect! Everyone knows us, and some people are still well...against us...so maybe we could make disguises and see if we can get more from other sources on the matter of the bug and Her.".

"Well actually that sounds like a good idea...why didn't you bring it up earlier?", Sunny rubbed her arm, "Well, asking you to do that is asking you to do a lot of work and I wasn't sure you would want to spend so much time on something like that when we could put our focus elsewhere, with Katrina going on about being spies...well, with disguises...we could work with her...".

Sky eyed katrina, who had been listening in, "Well problem is...I don't think you're allowed to have us spy on anyone correct?". The frog woman nodded, "Nope, i am not allowed to let you out of the castle sunshine, but, i'll be fair, if you want to dress up around here? I have no reason to stop you, just don't go sneaking out of the walls, we're not taking that risk no matter how tough you guys might be...and i'm in trouble enough as is".

Sunny pouted, she'd probably been hoping to convince the spy to help them but seems the lady was quick to shut that part down, well...that's what it looked like. Sunny almost was about to leave when angel stopped her, his brow furrowing before he took a risk with his next words, "Um...forgive me...I uh...that was a well told lie but I uh...I think we'd appreciate more truth out of you...considering how much I had lied and you wanted me to be honest...".

He actually didn't know if she were lying, but it just kinda came out, and yet-

Sunny suddenly became embarrassed, her facade dropping, "Fine...it was a half lie...I do want some costumes for a play outside of the disguises...I know a place landon showed me and I thought it'd be a good place to perform...but it's not out of selfish reasons...I thought...maybe...we could set a trap there and you could make us costumes to help better disguise us to catch them there...and I've been writing a play for you guys in my spare time".

"Why weren't you honest about that from the beginning?".

"I though you guys would think It was a waste of time If i asked you for costumes for a silly play of mine...it's easier to ask for costumes to go around in public then to ask for costumes for a play I want to perform in...I mean you even said it was a waste of time before i told you.".

"Sunny no, that's a great idea, for a trap I mean".

"Ahem!", Katrina said from against the wall, "No scheming to go anywhere outside the walls. it's cute how much of spies your are but any traps laid about should be addressed with your parents sky".

"Aren't you supposed to be following judas?", katrina shrugged, "I am but after last night it seems king and queen lucitor decided maybe I outta give the boy a little more space...can't blame him, he looked really upset last night, i think the whole situation really hit a nerve with him. He's a tough kid but he's struggling with trusting himself and feeling comfortable and safe with himself...seeing the woman hurt probably made him think about it being one of his family members.".

Angel suddenly felt a ting of guilt, "I told him about Her having the book with notes on his condition in it...I told him i was worried about it and...he had tried to tell me he'd be ok...perhaps I...shouldn't have said anything...I was just worried and thought he should know...". His ears folded and his face turned pinker then usual, his mistakes seemed unending.

"It's not your fault kid, no one can speak for how judas feels then...judas, the kid can ignore how people feel and use this zappers all he wants, but honestly to me...I think what he needs to focus on...is his own mental health. Purple needs more help, and honestly better you tell him he might be in danger then say nothing at all and let something bad happen he can't prepare for...even if It hurts him...".

The prince nodded, "If you're sure.".

"Kid, you can hurt people, but not everything could be easily fixed by you doing nothing either. The stuff that kid is dealing with is more then just you, the best thing you can do now...all of you, is be there for him as his friend and reassure him and protect him. He'd do the same for all of you and the best you can do is the same for him while he's struggling.".

"We will...promise.".

"Good, now you ll better get back to...whatever your doing...and stay safe...call me if you need me. Right now i'm watching these two but If I need to help i will, if the guards don't alert me...". The two nodded and before they left Katrina nodded to Angel, "And sorry if I was too aggressive last night, I know that entire situation was emotional for you...but your safety and hers should be a priority and I couldn't jeopardize it".

"It's fine...", he didn't seem too forgiving by tone, but he couldn't hold a big grudge either considering the outcome of it either. He moved forward, following sky closely as the door closed behind them, leaving sunny, katrina, and galexia in the library. Sunny smiled at them leaving, "They're so cute working together...I knew they could do it!", going back to opening her book on medical magical practices.

"They're strange friends alright...", the older monster nodded, leaning against the wall nearby.

"But...I welcome them completely, honestly the more the merrier".

Sky definitely didn't want to meet eclipsa.

Not now, not anytime soon.

Of course when she blabbed on about how upset she was with her that's the day she HAD to meet her in person.

Of course, just her luck.

She didn't know if angel tagging along made it more awkward or less awkward frankly.

Though angel seemed to be right by her side on this no matter what so that was a little reassuring, at least he wasn't acting like she couldn't be upset on the matter, considering he technically went behind her back as well he didn't really have much of an excuse himself. He adjusted judas's old clothes he'd been wearing, nervous as they entered the garden.

"I could go...if you...don't want to." sky stopped in her tracks, huffing.

"I know you could..and you would...but I should do It, i'm supposed to be taking charge here...I shouldn't...make you do anything that I should be doing. I promised to help right? I'm just gonna have to suck up my anger and deal with it. I won't even have to look at her for very long...", then she paused, "I...I do miss our lessons together though...".

"This does seem almost like going to one somehow...doesn't it?".

Sky's annoyance was apparent, "Yeah...it does...".

But then she turned around to look at him, her face becoming a smile, "Maybe when all this is over...we could pick those back up again? If that's cool with you? Maybe with a different teacher? We...have a lot to work on if we're going to be in charge at some point...like a lot of work. Helping your family and people, trying to fix our terrible security, y'know...trying not to ruin people's lives?".

"I accept your offer...Queen Sky.", he was being playful, bowing, and sky actually seemed to find it a little amusing.

"Alright, now i'm just stalling...let's get it over with...".

She headed up to the tower door, knocking, angel close behind her as she became more anxious by the second. She found herself tapping her foot, waiting before she heard the door unlock, her blue eyes looking towards the door. Though as the door opened it wasn't eclipsa at the door, but Globgor, who looked excited and relieved to see the kids there.

"Back so soon?", he teased, "I jest...yesterday was quite a day wasn't it? You kids alright?". He was mainly looking at angel and the boy could only give him a weak nod as his answer, and that seemed enough for globgor who didn't push it further. "So what are you doing here? Lessons are cancelled and Eclipsa knows you're mad with her and...you need something don't you?".

Sky's face told all, looking away and shuffling, "Maybe...is there something wrong with that?".

The monster ushered the two in, "Of course not, you know we're willing to help. It's good to see you two again.". Globgor followed behind as she headed inside eclipsa's tower, though eclipsa herself wasn't there, globgor himself only sat down in front of them as they took their usual seats as if this were another one of eclipsa's lessons all over again.

"Eclipsa's out, she'll be back soon...she asked for me to hang out here to check in with the queens, we're going to head back to our place soon after...but for now you can talk to me if that makes you more comfortable. What's on your mind?", the royals exchanged looks between them as sky let it out of the bag, "We need eclipsa to make us a charm to ward off bad magic...".

"Oh...that sounds a lot worse then I was expecting, what are you getting into exactly?", the princess was quick to nod to her companion, "It's for his mom, it's all to help her...I'm only here to help him and his mom. So yeah, if eclipsa can make us a charm to use for her, i'd appreciate it, i'm not exactly knowledgeable on that and i know for a fact it's not in the book of spells...".

Globgor suddenly smiled in a way sky did not like, clasping his hands together, "Reminds me of eclipsa, she was so brave doing everything she did to be with me and make me happy. You're facing someone you're mad with to help someone you used to be enemies with, that's so adorable". Great, another one of those people, was this going to be regular thing from now on?

Just random people gaping at how sweet it was they no longer wanted to fight each other?

Was it too late to change her mind?

Even Angel looked embarrassed, coughing and trying to change the subject, "Yeah, ok...anyway...globgor...can eclipsa help us? I'm glad you're happy that we're friends now but i'm here to help my mom...I need to help her in anyway I can...if there's even a chance we can save her life...". Globgor understood, no doubt thinking back to the many monsters he lost back in the war, the friends and family.

"We'll help...promise, we'll have to wait till eclipsa gets back first.".

The monster king looked over to the unused teapot nearby, "I'm not good at it but...you want a drink?". Guess they were going to be here for awhile weren't they? Might as well in the meantime. Globgor attempted to make tea as sky took out her compact, looking for updates from any of her friends. Angel glancing over to take a look as well, "Any updates from judas...?".

"Not yet...but we'll hear from him soon i'm sure...".

Sky had to admit angel's attachment to judas and even nora was touching to her, it seems she and judas were no longer a pair of two anymore ever since this mess started.

"How do you know for certain that he's not in danger or anything? Not that I don't trust Prince Lucitor, but with everything happening...how are you sure he's safe?", the princess could only return his question with a nonchalant shrug, "I just know judas can take care of himself, despite the mess...he's...strong, even at his worst...and he's not alone either...".

"He isn't?".

"Landon is with him, landon's not the most powerful...but if judas was in trouble, landon wouldn't leave him...". she tucked her compact back into her pocket , "I wish we had a greater idea what they wanted...where they might strike next...without knowing their goal it makes it harder to figure out where to catch them...you sure they gave you no real idea of their plan?".

"I swear they didn't, they certainly didn't trust me enough to disclose that info to me...I wonder if to some degree they expected me to betray them and didn't think I was worth trusting with that information...all I know was the plans I was told about and that they were scary powerful with magic...enough to deliver on their promises to me to keep me in line...", he crossed his heart, "I'd spill if i could.".

"Magic is so limited to people in mewni...well...that kinda powerful magic...it has to be a butterfly, But i know it's not my moms, eclipsa, my grandmother doesn't have reason to do this...does anyone in my family have a big enough grudge to be targeting the other kingdoms like this? Though considering what they took...they seemed to want power I guess...", sky didn't know much about her extended family, but then again, how much did her extended family know about low mewman? Or the book?

Maybe it really was some kinda toffee follower...the butterfly secrets didn't exactly remain secret because of him or the people around him, maybe they should be investigating any living supporters of him.

Or maybe she was just losing her mind at this point and just desperate to make sense of all of this.

"Ugh...I wish i hadn't left the-".

Her eyes suddenly lit up, god had she really let that slip her mind already?

"The truth potion...it's here...I last saw it here", she aggressively whispered to her companion, if she could get that back, maybe she could find some use for it in their investigation, especially in terms of getting straight answers out of her family and other suspects.

Her eyes immediately scanned around the room, hoping to spot the blue potion somewhere in plain sight but finding nothing, instead globgor returned, presenting the pair teacups and immediately apologizing. "I'm not as good as eclipsa with this whole thing. so if it tastes bad...sorry about that...but boiling water and adding tea dirt feels like it's hard to mess up...".

They both took the teacups, even angel was looking around the room, his eyes darting around so much globogr seemed to be wondering if there was something wrong with him.

"Prince arachford?".

"Hmm?", suddenly all his eyes looked at globgor, taking a quick sip of his tea, he wasn't keeping a very good poker face right now.

"I wanted to appluade how you were in the trial yesterday, you really stuck it to those commissioners, it's fantastic seeing you tell them off like that. Normally before when a monster did so they took it as a sign of aggression and would've arrested them sooner, I'm impressed", globgor reached over to pat his fellow monster on the shoulder, "Not to mention they're in a world of trouble right now.".

"Well..I wasn't going to let sky get arrested for something that was my fault.", he mumbled, "It was my fault alone...and she could've been arrested alongside me.".

"Well I think you did great, I'm impressed.".

"Impressive because I fought back?".

"No, impressive because you were willing to take the fall to protect people you cared about, that's the sign of a true leader right there. I think your people will be happy to welcome you back once things settle...", oh right, his people were mad at him due to what happened, he'd been so distracted he seemed to entirely forget about that part of the situation.

He couldn't even return home because of what happened, his people were beyond mad he had done something that put them in possible danger, not to mention all of mewni. He did the whole thing in hopes of bringing them back to greatness, allowing them to use magic like they used to, but it seemed they hated it and the idea of it if it came under these circumstances.

He really screwed up.

Globgor seemed to notice he looked down but his voice grew softer, "Hey, you always had a great heart...what happened back then...honestly It's a guilt that's lingered with me as well...you can be mad at solaria...you can be mad at the butterfly family...you have every right to be. But it's great you've gone from wanting nothing but revenge...to wanting to work to fix things and form friendships...It's what we originally wanted as well...".

"Doesn't appear to always work...", he muttered under is breath, the hurt still present in his voice.

"No but...well...do you trust the ones you're working with to work beside you?", globgor eyed to Sky, was distracted looking around the room to pay much attention to the conversation. Angel of course couldn't say no, "I do trust them...even If I was too stubborn to even consider it before.". Globgor rustled his hair, snickering, "Well I happen to think the monsters will be in better hands going forward...so we can finally truly reach proper peace...hopefully.".

Globgor sighed, looking to sky now, who was still looking around rather strangely, and he set his full attention on her.

"So...what'cha looking for sky?".

Sky suddenly froze, clutching her teacup.

Yeah, no duh she'd get caught, her head was moving like a bird's right now, as unnatural as possible for a normal looking individual. She could've just asked globgor but there was no telling if THAT was a good idea or if it was another excuse for the lovers to betray them entirely and not let them have it at all. Though now that globor knew she was looking for something...well..oops.

But the monster wasn't stupid, smiling a toothy grin that almost seemed teasing.

"Oh right, when you came here to fine the young lad you ended up leaving a special potion around didn't you? You never came back to collect it since.", he took a seat once again in front of the pair, folding his arms. "Sorry kids...but you're a smidge late...King Lucitor...well actually...Dave...since he's no longer king. He requested some to question that young demon girl and since Eclipsa had it she let him borrow it, i'm sure he won't use it all though."

Oh right, Judas's grandfather had mentioned he wanted to further speak to Fae didn't he?

Sky suddenly pulled out her compact, and gave angel a knowing glance.

Cue team Judas.

Judas's compact buzzed, the boy waking up from a nap he'd been having and opening the device up, his brother and half sister sleeping next to him. Had he really fallen asleep? Guess it figured after how stressful things had been he'd be more tired then usual, though upon reading the message from the princess and seeing his brother alongside him, the thought of leaving their side did not resonate with him.

He did not want to leave landon, not right now.

There was still much to do with him and right now he seemed rather worried about his safety after that mess. At the very least he and Celeste both outta make sure he wasn't physically harmed due to magic or glass or anything. Because if there was, landon would be hiding it, just like he hid his tail from everyone, even from his parents at times when he was upset with them.

But what to do? If he had to stay with his brother for now, he needed another idea.

Granted, his grandfather would most likely give the potion back, but what if he didn't? In fact what if they couldn't remake the potion due to the strict hold on the garden for ingredients? But the real reason sky wanted judas to do something came to him quite quickly, fae was not a team player of any kind, but she knew about landon and celeste's escapades.

Knew they had been out when they shouldn't be and investigated on their own.

Not to mention the fact the girl was prime witness to the rescue mission to save nora, something that they were still choosing to keep mostly under wraps to keep sky from being further attacked and considering his grandfather was currently in the dark about who the girls were and about the truth about what was happening, having him find out his family wasn't telling him anything...was bad news.

Sky could be in trouble, and so could all of them.

If Fae spilled, they'd be in trouble.

He needed to make sure the two people next to him didn't end up in further trouble, not to mention the rest of them so they weren't further exposed. Not that he didn't trust his grandfather, but this sure wasn't the best way to bring that up to him.

But he couldn't just leave...could he?

But if he couldn't do it...

Judas quickly sent out another text, knowing the best person he could send for the job, without putting them at much of any risk. All he needed was to keep his grandpa from finding out anything he shouldn't, and hopefully, they could keep it together just a little bit longer.

He hoped.

"Mason...you got this.".

And nearby in his own room, mason's wings could be heard flapping in excitement.

[secretsocietyxmen]

The Princess and The Fox - Growing Pains

Going for an in media res of this post.

@gothfoxx @fantasyfandommaiden @thegayestasexual

------------

Not long after she had found the Fox Miraculous, Chloe was faced with a dilemma. She desperately wanted to prove herself, prove that she was exceptional. However, little fox inside - Trixx - vetoed the idea. However, he then offered an alternative: begin training and prove herself as a hero.

So, she was standing in the middle of her room, gripping an old cheerleading baton (she went through a phase), and prepared herself for the ordeal.

“Couldn’t we do this somewhere else? Like the gym, or the pool?”

The little Kwami was sitting in a bowl full of marshmallows (to refuel energy, he said). “Well, would you be able to explain the whole illusion thing to onlookers?”

“...No.”

“Then deal with it.” He popped a jumbo marshmallow into his mouth, and conjured up illusions of former Akumas: Reflekta, Lady Wifi, and Bubbler.

She groaned, and readied herself to strike. As she tried to dodge the blasts from the two illusion girls (they probably won’t do anything, but no need to take risks), she ran up to the gaudy boy and crossed ‘blades’ with his bubble wand. Quickly, she ran her baton through him, causing him to go up in orange smoke.

As she tried to catch her breath, she then had to dodge blasts from a new player: Darkblade. 

‘It’s gonna be a long night.’

------------

A while later and Chloe was sore. She had spent a good couple of hours fighting illusion Akumas as a way to ‘train her body’, or whatever the little fuzzball said. However, she will power through this, just so she could be a hero. 

Luckily, the next lesson isn’t as labor intensive, as Trixx is training her in illusions. Specifically, how to both create them, and spot them. (He promised that later she could learn how to break them.) He started by having her point out where balls/cards are in Three-Card-Monty style games (she’d have to thank Kubdel for her little gambling phase last year, now she had an idea of what to do.) Once she got the hang of the easy parts, he added illusion balls and trick cups to throw her off. After a while she could at least get a couple right.

“Congrats, I haven’t had this much fun with the game since my wielder came up with it a few centuries ago.”

“Oh really, and who might that be?”

He smirked, “I believe he was the inspiration for the character of ‘Robin Hood’.”

A pause. “...Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!”

The fox god shrugged, “Suit yourself. Might as well start running a bath, before your muscles lock up.”

------------

While she was bathing, Trixx started hovering around the room, trying to get a read on the girl. ‘Clearly, she’s a bit self centered and rude.’ He then floated up to a picture of the blonde standing next to that model boy and a redhead, standing in front of the Eiffel Tower, smiling. ‘However, she has potential.’ 

He then felt a shiver run down his tail. “Oh great, it’s the buzzkill squad.” He turned around to see Tikki and Wayzz.

The turtle spoke up, “Trixx, the Guardian wishes for you to return to the Miracle Box.”

“No.”

The two blinked at him. Tikki then spoke up, “What do you mean? Ladybug is trying to find you so you can return to Master Fu.”

“Oh, I know. I’m just not going.”

He then continued, “I’ve found a fun new wielder, so I’m training her to be a hero. She seems to have something she wants to prove, so I feel I can draw it out.” He then smirked. “Plus, she can bring me unending amusement.”

Wayzz sighed. “The Guardian will not like this...”

“That’s none of my concern. So, do you mind covering for me until I’m done here?”

Rubbing her temples, Tikki agreed. Soon after they left, Chloe returned from the bathroom. “Who were you talking to?”

Trixx waved a paw in her direction, “That’s not important. So, do you have any questions?”

------------

Tell me what you think!

[jungle321jungle]

Forms of Family 3

Part Three

Dee’s nerves were shot.

He had spent so much time- he didn’t even know how much anymore- talking to doctors who asked him the same questions so many times he wasn’t sure he knew the answer to them anymore.

On top of big general worry over Virgil’s condition, Patton would sporadically start to cry out of worry (in any other situation Dee would find it adorable), the twins were antsy as they began to rough house with one another, and finally Logan paced insistently as he kept trying to call their father (using Dee’s phone) to no avail.

Virgil was paler than he usually was, and his small chest heaved as he took short shallow breaths. His dark eyes were closed tightly, as if he was pain- and it only pained Dee more.

“Daddy?” Dee looked away from Virgil at the sound of Patton’s voice as he looked up to see the doctor had returned.

Patton climbed out his arms allowing him to stand slowly before he followed the doctor further away from the boys to speak.

“Based on the tests run and what you explained to us we believe he has a virus most likely caught for your other son, which led to an infection.”

Dee nodded digesting the information, “So he’ll be okay?”

“He will, but we will need to stay here for possibly a few days so he can have antibiotics, and monitoring. I’ll have him transferred out of the ER and into a more permanent room in a different part of the hospital.”

Weight fell from Dee’s chest as he gave a sigh of relief. No he didn’t want to be there longer, but long as Virgil was going to be okay that’s what mattered.

~~~~

Dee was thankful for his friends.

Despite his telling them that things were fine Brenda, Miranda, and more had come to offer well wishes. They brought him a change of clothes from the house and activities for the boys to do, and they had even offered to let the boys sleep in their homes as Dee was rooted to the spot.

Everyone was there to offer support.

Everyone but his husband.

“Daddy?” Patton asked pulling on his shirt.

Dee nodded and stood up and after making sure the other boys were fine he headed out the room to the bathroom.

He was gone for less than five minutes.

Less than five minutes.

And yet when he got back what did he find?

Virgil crying, Logan holding back a kicking and screaming Roman, and Remus- Remus had sunk his teeth into the nurses hand.

Dee was frozen and shock for half a moment until he noticed the nurse’s hand rise up to strike. But Dee’s fingers curled around her wrist before she could dare.

At his sudden appearance Remus released the woman and she wrenched her hand back. She tried to move back so Dee let her go.

“Do everyone a favor and watch your kids,” she snapped.

Dee held back a retort, he wasn’t going to piss off someone watching Virgil. “Remus apologize, now.”

Remus looked smug, but he gave an apology anyways, “Sorry.”

She hurried from the room then leaving Dee alone with his sons. The first thing he did was take a breath before he picked up Virgil and bounced him a few times to get the baby to calm down a bit. When he had quieted slightly he turned the others, “What happened?”

Logan let go of Roman, who then took up post beside Remus before he spoke. “Vee was crying and Remus wanted to help, but she came in and said we couldn’t touch him!”

“He’s our brother not hers!” Remus added in. “I know how to hold him! So she tried to pull me away, so I bit her! And she tried to hit me!”

“So I kicked her! Until Logan became a buzzkill!”

“She didn’t want you to touch him because it’s a matter of being sanitary, not familial ties,” Logan explained.

“So?”

“Yeah so?”

Dee gave a sigh, “You can’t bite people Remus. And I need you guys to listen to what the doctors and nurses say, alright? It’s what’s best for Virgil, okay?”

“Okay...”

“Fine... But if she’s mean to him, I’ll kick her again.”

Dee held back an eye roll (Logan didn’t), “Fine. Whatever, just sit and quiet down.”

“Fine parenting,” Logan muttered.

“Logan, I’m not in the mood.”

“Noted.”

~~~~

It took two nurses, one doctor‍, and his friend Miranda to pull him away from the hospital room. But the furthest he would go is the first floor to get a coffee.

“So glad I pried you from that room,” Miranda commented as they stepped out of the elevator onto their floor.

Dee sipped at his coffee, “Yeah, the bad coffee is totally worth it.”

She rolled her eyes and was quiet for a moment before she spoke, “Have you heard from...?”

Dee gave a sigh as his fingers involuntarily clenched and unclenched into fists. “No. I left half a million messages and sent twice that in texts... and I got nothing.”

Miranda paused in thought, before she stopped in her walk and turned to face him with a serious look. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but personally I think you’re better off without him.”

“Miranda I-”

“I’m not going to overstep more than that. But if you are still set on trying to contact him, maybe you could try using someone else’s phone? He might have you blocked.”

Dee opened and closed his mouth unsure of how to proceed, but she nodded slowly.

“If you need a phone feel free to use mine.”

He watched as she pulled out the device and held it out to him, but he shook his head and turned. He couldn’t be blocked... right?

“We should head back,” were the only words he could force out as he turned to walk the way they had come.

The walk back was silent, until he slid open the door and was greeted with the scene inside.

“I win!”

The shout came from Roman and Remus playing some game on their iPad in the corner. Apparently Remus had won whatever it was. Beside them Logan was nose deep in a book while Patton lay on the floor with a coloring book. It was a scene so normal he almost wished he could pick the whole thing up and drop it in his house. That Virgil would be healthy and things could be back to normal.

When he entered the room they all looked up at him, but he said nothing making his way back to Virgil.

“When can V come home?” Patton asked him.

Dee gave a sigh as he sat in his seat, “Hopefully soon Patt. Tomorrow or the day after.”

“That’s far away.”

“I know, but it’s to make sure Virgil is feeling his best, alright?”

“He needs to feel better faster then.”

Dee nodded, “I agree.”

~~~~

“Pacific.”

“Pacific. P-A-C-I-F-I-C. Pacific.”

“Paralysis.”

“Paralysis. P-A-R-A-L-Y-S-I-S. Paralysis. Come on give me something harder.”

“Fine, sorry, I thought we starting easy and building up. Um so... exasperation.”

“What’s the point?” Roman interjected. “Logan wins every year. He doesn’t need to practice. He’s the best speller! ...Er...”

“Speller. And why do you go to soccer practice then?” Logan asked him. “You guys won the last three games.”

“We don’t play soccer anymore,” Remus put in. “We’re gonna do karate.”

Dee sighed, “That’s not confirmed yet.”

“We can’t do karate?” Roman asked. God the kid sounded like Dee had done something terrible. He grimaced,

“I’m not saying that either. I need to look into some things first.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“It’s a maybe.”

"Maybes are yeses!"

Dee gave a sigh as Logan frowned, “They are not. Do- do you know the definition of both words?”

“It’s not a yes right now,” Patton threw in. “He has to talk to Dad first!”

Dee felt a pain in his chest as he gave the boy a smile, “E-exactly Patt.”

“What’s the next word again?” Logan asked changing the subject.

Dee nodded thankful for it, “Um... we were on exasperation.”

“Exasperation. R-O-M-A-N-A-N-D-R-E-M-U-S. Exasperation.”

Dee just shook his head, “I need a nap.”

~~~~

When the name flashed on his screen Dee swore his heart stopped beating.

His eyes flickered to his sons to find Logan watching him curiously. He gave a hard swallow as he grabbed his phone tightly and walked out into the hallway. The nothingness in his heart was suddenly replaced by a jackhammer as he finally answered the call.

“Hello?” His voice shaky, quiet, and weaker than he wanted it to be.

“You always take forever to pick up,” grunted the voice on the other side.

“Virgil he-”

“Where’s your watch?”

Dee felt himself deflate, “What?”

“Where’s you watch?” He asked again. “The one I gave you on our honeymoon? I need it.”

“What? W-why?”

“Does it matter? Where is it?”

“I don’t know. But why-”

“Of course,” there was a banging and shuffling on the other side. “You fucking lose everything. I already checked your side table and the safe, do you have any ideas on where it could be?”

“Virgil is in the hospital,” Dee stated bluntly. “He has been for two nights now.”

“What does that have to do with a watch?”

Dee gave a laugh of disbelief as his anger began to rise, “Nothing at all. But he’s your son too, so shouldn’t that be where your concern lie? With your son? Or with a fucking watch?”

“...Don’t swear around the kids.”

“Oh now you’re concerned?” Dee shouted. “You hate that I swear, but you can’t fucking come to the hospital see your son? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Don’t raise your-“

“Don’t! Don't you even try to tell me what to do anymore. I’m done with you and all this bullshit. So listen up, you have two choices. You come here now and be with your children, or you get the fuck out of our lives and never contact us again.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Yes I can! I’m done lying to the boys! I’m done lying to myself! I gave you your choices. Come and be a father or get out of our lives.”

“Damien,” his voice was slow and angry, but Dee couldn’t bring himself to care.

“What?”

“You are aware that I pay for everything right?”

“...I guess you made your choice.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“If your money is more important that your children then you made your choice. So feel free to take your money with you. I’ll keep my kids.”

“Damien I-”

Dee cut him off by hanging up the phone. He stared down at it for a moment before he took a deep breath to stop the tears burning at his eyes.

“Dad?”

The soft call came from behind him and Dee turned to see Logan and the twins standing in the doorway. He opened and closed his mouth, but no words came out. He moved back into the room and sat in his chair before he felt small arms pull him into a hug.

He lost his battle against the tears as he hugged Roman back. There was a short pause before the other three joined and Dee held his children tightly to his chest.

“Daddy’s not coming back?” Patton asked quietly.

Dee forced himself to take a deep breath as he pulled back enough to look them all in the eye. “Our family is going to be a bit different now,” he started slowly. “But it’s okay. There’s many forms of families, and now ours is just us. But it’s okay, we’ll be okay. Can you guys trust me on that?”

Logan nodded and adjusted his glasses, “One hundred percent.”

“Good, I’m gonna need your help Logan.”

“You needed my help even when he was around.”

Dee smiled ignoring the way his tears still fell, “Glad I can count on you.”

“We thought he wasn’t coming back anyway,” Roman admitted.

Remus nodded solemnly, “Dad’s never been gone this long... Does he really not care anymore?”

“I’m sorry,” Dee told them both. “I want to think he does, but I don’t know. But I’ll be here for you guys regardless okay?”

Dee looked to Patton and it pained him to find tears in the young boy’s eyes. He pulled him close mumbling apologies as he was unsure what else to do. But Patton held him back saying that he loved him. And that was good enough.

Because even without him, they were still a family. And while some could try to cause rifts and difficulties to break them up, Dee would always be there for them as their father- as their dad who asked for nothing in return.

~~~~~

Thank you so much for reading!!!!

Part One • Part Two (1/2) • Part Two (2/2) • Part Three

[pinkfluffy-kathichu]

I’m not sure if any of you are actually still interested in my ocs because I haven’t posted about them in a long time but I’ll talk about them anyways xD

A little bit of story first~ Edit: I added a “Keep Reading” since this post is actually little bit longer than I thought; I also tried to fix the formating

Valmè stood on the balcony, looking down into the garden. The posh teaparty had turned into a wild cake fight. But she had expected nothing else. Those two were the children of Serafine afterall. "I admire you for how well you can handle them.", she answered Seto, who entered the balcony. Valmè continued: "I never understood Serafine's decision to let you take care of Katherine because you were still a child yourself, but to see how well she developed in your care, I am glad she chose you. The same goes for Mio. Mio's fate was tragic and yet by all means she raised Sora the best she could." Seto leaned his back against the railing and sighed "It wasn't that easy. Because she didn't have parents I had to compensate for that and had to make a lot of sacrifices. For both her and my little brother. I could imagine a better life for an 11-year-old." "You still conquered all obstacles in the best way possible.", said Valmè in a gentle tone. Seto continued: "I was amazed when I first met Sora and saw how similar their personalities were, even though they didn't know each other." "Well, that is twins for you, as they say. I have been in this world for a very long time and I have seen this phenomenon countless times. Even if no one wants to hear it, Seto, but even Taro is probably more like you than you thi-" "Oh, stop that. You're right. Literally no one wants to hear that." Seto was visibly angry at Valmè's statement. Valmè sighed "It is truly unfortunate." The two stood there, silently, watching the cake fight taking place below. You could no longer identify anyone because of all the cake. Even the servants, who first tried to calm down the situation in panic, partied along with joy.

Later that evening...

Sora laid on the fluffy rug in the middle of the room, yawning loudly, stretching his arms and legs. "I think I might have some cake left in my ears. You guys really missed something, big bro! I bet you and Yusei didn't have as much fun at your dreary lessons as we had today!" he teased at Ryuga, who sat on the windowsill, writing something on his laptop. "Choose your next words wisely, otherwise I'll wring your neck.", replied Ryuga uninterested. Yusei answered from inside the bathroom, though amused and with a slight sarcastic tone: "Sora you'll never believe the awesome stuff Pollox has taught us today! An ultra cool secret technique that I'm not supposed to tell you about!" At the words 'secret technique' Sora jumped up and leaped towards the bathroom door.

Before he could ask, what this supposed 'secret technique' was about, Kitty came into the room with Oskari in tow. Oskari seemed very excited. Kitty quickly went to her red backpack, took out the small digital camera she had received from Tsubasa as a premature birthday gift, and gave it to Oskari. "This is a digital camera.", she said. Oskari held it in his hands like a sacred artifact that could break at the slightest movement. "And with that, you can create a completely realistic picture of the happening present?" Kitty nodded and Oskari seemed to be completely over the moon. "Humans are incredible beings! Inventing something so complex, completely devoid of magic, and so compact!" He let the camera dangle in front of his face with the holder cord. "It's not that complex.", murmured Ryuga, whereupon Oskari, who was completely shocked by Ryuga's statement, replied: "By all the respect that I have towards you, my Prince, but I have to disagree with you! For me, these marvels of human technology are of great interest! A process in which light is used to analyse and to then store said data. To be able to think of something like that is absolutely fascinating! The same goes for the portable computer you are using right now!" Ryuga growled annoyed and continued to focus on whatever he was doing on his laptop. "Oh, come on! Let him be passionate about something, you buzzkill.", said Yusei, who had come out of the bathroom and got a t-shirt from the dresser.

Oskari continued to inspect the small camera with wide eyes. A bright and big smile spread over Kitty's face. She was so happy to finally make someone else happy again. It was an extremely good feeling. "Do you want to take a picture?" she asked Oskari. His jaw dropped. "Really?" "Yeah, sure!" He did not quite know how to handle this question, but a few seconds later he asked, very nervously, "May I take a picture of you, my Princess? It would be of great honor for me!" "And I would be honored if I were on your first self-made digital camera photo, Oskari. Also, I told you before, you don't have to address me with Princess. I don't like the formal stuff." She winked at him. "Exactly! Kitty! So, photo ... how?" He was staring frantically at the camera from all sides. "Wait, I'll help you." Yusei stepped behind Oskari and turned the camera to the right position. Kitty took on a cute, relaxed pose, ready for the photo. "Hey, I want to be in it too!" Sora shouted, quickly positioning himself behind his sister. And Oskari pressed the button.

All the time they had left to spend in Neverland should fly by as slow as possible.

------------------------------

Some context~

Who are the characters?

(I will skip the introduction for Sora, Ryuga, Yusei and Seto, since they are canon characters to MFB and Yugioh; Kitty was also introduced before)

Valmè Nur'Atal:

Eldest of Neverland. High priestess. (Sorcerer). Her actual age is unknown (according to rumors she's around 500 years old); Can contact the spirit world and could in some cases bring back people from the dead with her healing abilities.

Serafine Neverland:

Former Queen of Neverland and mother of Kitty, Sora, Ryuga and Yusei. Vanished in the battle against Ergethar Diothee. (did she die? who knows? Her soul was never brought to heaven nor hell....); Posessed the power of Elemental Energy (Category: Fire; Type: Yellow Lightning)

Mio Akatsuki:

Serafine's maid and best friend since childhood. Mio took care of Sora after the battle against Ergethar. Unfortunately, she died of a heavy illness when Sora was 9-years-old; Elf of the summerside of Neverland. Doesn't have any outstanding magical powers but is very passionate about plants (or was...)

Taro Diothee:

Twin brother of Seto who followed after their father Ergethar's dream to create a, in their eyes, perfect world. Taro is the #1 evil dude in this story.

Pollox Ludeia:

Teacher for "Power Control" (Not exclusive to the royals). Former teacher of Serafine and her siblings. Has been Kitty's teacher since she was 6 years old. Has weird punishments if you don't succeed a task. Overall very strict dude who has no favourite students. (But is more chill outside of lessons)

Oskari Nur'Atal:

best boi. he's so sweet and I love him to death. same age as Kitty and Sora. The Nur'Atal family is a family of sorcerers. He anticipates to be a healer and potion maker. In his free time he likes to do research in 'human history and technology' and human stuff in general, since it is something that is rarely talked about and/or used in Neverland. Oskari is trained to be one of the four upper guardians of the royal family of Neverland. (He's also very important for Kyoya's character development in this story)

"So what exactly is the situation in the text above?"

The four siblings and Seto live on earth. Kitty learned how to use her powers from a young age from Pollox (and a little bit from Seto), Sora only a few years of his childhood from Mio, Ryuga was not interested in the powers (since Doji talked about it as it being not important; he also had other plans with Ryuga) and Yusei never knew about anything. Since the four of them are the Guardians of Destiny they should definetely know what every bit of their power can do. So they went to Neverland to train. And there happened to be an opportunity where all four of them could go there. (Ryuga and Yusei have to take extra lessons since they are totally inexperienced). The teaparty was supposed to be a little formal get-together for the 'kids' but it ended with Kitty dumping someones head in the chocolate fountain and Sora screaming "CAKE BATTLE!". (this 'someone' is also a very important person who I'll tell you about another time ) This takes place shortly before Kitty's and Sora's 18th birthday.

"What is Ryuga doing on his laptop?"

At the time all this stuff is happening, both Ryuga and Kitty have some trouble going on in their love life. What might that be? You'll find out soon enough

If you made it this far then THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING ❤❤❤❤❤

And I hope you liked it at least a little bit ^^’ (my writing skills aren’t very great)

(I also posted this on deviantart, so you can go check it out if you want to)

bye~☆