#I like to think I’ve mastered the 🥺 face

[rosicheeks]

you’d be VERY cute on your knees hehehehe oh my gosh you’re literally so cute, the way you type stuff out when you’re horny is fucking adorable i just want to pet your head and praise you and let you worship me like a good girl~ 🥰 and wow, you’re very good at begging, expect your present soon <3

-🌸

I want praises pls 🥺

[soft-serve-soymilk]

Working on my Inigo side story while I’m doing my amigurumi for the craft market and damn. Disigo writes itself 😅🥺☺️

[dancingbirdie]

Okay so on Astarion, I was reading this fic about him not knowing Tavs true intentions with him and it bothering Astarion a lot, so what if he goes to some mage or magic user and asks them to show Tavs true intentions to him, when he does the vision he sees is just... being snuggled. It's Tav on top of him and the both of you are falling asleep, his hands are under your shirt softly petting your skin as your sleepy self is contently snuggled up to him. I just start crying about him finding out that Tavs DASTARDLY and EVIL plan with him, their greatest desire from him... is to simply be held. 🥺

Hi @goblin-creatcher! Thank you so much for this BEAUTIFUL prompt. I, uhh, kind of took it and went a million miles an hour with it. This is honestly one of my favorite things I've ever written. I hope you enjoy it as well! xoxoxo

Something Imagined / Something Real

Word Count: 3.9K

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Astarion x f!Tav

Warnings/Tags: Brief but detailed description of rough consensual sex, descriptions and references to Astarion's trauma/trauma responses, minor Act 1 and Act 2 spoilers, FLUFF, angst

Suggested Song Pairing: Slow Dancing in A Burning Room (Stripped) - cover by ST LUNA

Summary: Astarion has been suspicious of Tav’s true intentions toward him. He persuades Gale to cast a spell and reveal her motivations. ANGST and FLUFF ensue. A rewriting of Astarion’s confession scene from Act 2.

The sun had just begun to set on the campsite when Astarion decided to put his plan into action. He had waited until Tav departed with some of the other party members before making his way over to the wizard. Gale was too busy reassembling the bookshelf inside his tent to notice Astarion’s approach. It wasn’t until he gave a polite cough that Gale jumped and whirled to face him. 

“No, no, no,” he began all at once, hands raised in a sort of shooing motion. Astarion stared at him in confusion. “I can respect Tav’s indulging in your need for blood, but as I’ve said before: I taste terrible.” 

Astarion scoffed. “Charming. Actually, wizard, I was coming to request your aid in a different, though somewhat related, matter.”

“Really? Care to elaborate?” Gale responded, still somewhat wary. It wasn’t often he found himself alone with the vampire. 

“Testy, I see,” Astarion crooned teasingly. His knee-jerk response to people treating him like a monster, to behave in the most false saccharine sort of way. 

But he drew up short, censoring himself before saying anything else he might regret. He knew he needed to get on the wizard’s good side if he had any chance of getting the answers he sought. 

“I was hoping you knew a spell to reveal someone’s true intentions. Their… motivations for behaving in a certain way, so to speak,” he finished more seriously. 

Gale pondered the question for a moment before answering. 

“Hmm… yes, there is magic to determine that sort of thing… Although it’s been some time since I practiced it…” He trailed off, rubbing his chin in thought. 

“Why are you asking for such a thing?” he asked suddenly. 

Astarion had been prepared for this question, of course. No one did anything for free, no questions asked. He delivered his explanation perfectly, as he’d been rehearsing in his mind.

“One might say our dear sweet Tav and I have been growing a bit… closer these days, but I can sense a master manipulator when I see one. I just simply want to ensure their intentions toward me - toward the party - are true,” he replied with mock innocence. 

“Ah, yes,” Gale nodded. “I gathered as much when the two of you slipped away from the tiefling’s party a few nights ago.” 

“But,” he continued on,”I needn’t think you should worry when it comes to Tav. She seems about as transparent as they come. I’m sure any intentions she has toward you are true.”

Yes, but the best actors always mask their motivations behind innocence and transparency, Astarion thought to himself. I should know. I’ve been doing it for centuries.

After the party’s unfortunate meeting with that Gur in the Sunlit Wetlands, Astarion realized he would have to take potential threats from Cazador even more seriously. He wasn’t about to lose his freedom, not now that he finally had some small taste of it. 

It didn’t hurt to be more suspicious of everyone he encountered, even the sweetling Tav. Anyone could be an operative sent by Cazador, and the best ones would be as skilled as he was in the art of manipulation. It was well-known at this point that the person he’d grown the closest to on their journey was their brave party leader, Tav. Unlikely as it may be that she was scheming for his master, Astarion’s paranoia wouldn’t let him indulge in interactions with her a second longer unless he knew how she truly felt. 

Given Gale’s hesitation, Astarion knew he would have to kick his acting up a notch. Press on that wizard’s heartstrings. Touch the one nerve he knew he was sensitive to.

“Gale, darling, from one literally damaged soul to another, indulge me just this once,” Astarion beseeched him. 

The wizard glared at him a moment, before finally relenting with a heavy sigh. “Fine. Fine. But I want it known that I don’t agree with this so-called solution one whit,” he grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Yes, yes, noted and formally documented, on my word as a former Baldurian magistrate,” Astarion replied cheerily. “So, let’s hop to it then, shall we?”

“What, right now?” Gale asked, shocked. “Shouldn’t we be, I don’t know, a little less conspicuous?” 

“What better time than now?” Astarion responded. “Tav’s out gathering firewood with Wyll and Karlach. They won’t be back for some time. As for Lae’zel and Shadowheart, well…” he paused, gesturing over his shoulder. 

Said two were engaged in a heated sparring session on the outskirts of the camp. Snarls and curses could be heard emanating from both warriors as they tried, and failed, to gain the upper hand against their opponent.

“That lovers’ dance could go on until morning,” Astarion finished. 

“Fair point,” Gale admitted begrudgingly, grimacing at the sound of swords clashing violently. “Very well. Let’s get started.” 

Clearing his throat, Gale began to utter a series of phrases completely foreign to Astarion. He watched as the wizard began moving his hands in a wavelike pattern, forming a circle before them. Suddenly, a mist began to form from seemingly thin air, taking shape according to the boundaries Gale’s hands were creating. The mist grew more and more opaque until it appeared before them like a clouded mirror. 

As the fogginess of the ethereal magic began to clear, the “mirror” became a confusing blur of scenes whipping by, too fast for Astarion or Gale to really comprehend. There were flashes of Tav and Astarion, together and separate, but they disappeared too quickly to ascertain their context. It was as though the spell was shuffling through the entirety of Tav’s thoughts, assessing each one at breakneck speed. 

Finally, the spell slowed to a halt, stopping on one scene in particular. Astarion was struck speechless by what began playing out in the foggy portal before them. So distracted, he didn’t even notice Gale’s tight cough, or how the wizard suddenly became intensely interested in a copse of trees nearby, rather than the revelation the spell was revealing.

Not that the scene was especially profound, objectively speaking. In fact, to anyone else, it might be viewed as the least revelatory thing possible that the spell could have shown. Boring. Inconsequential, even. But to Astarion, it was almost earth shattering. 

He saw himself - he could see his face! - with Tav, lying tangled together in some immaculate four-poster bed. 

That was the first shock that coursed through him, nearly causing his knees to buckle. He was seeing himself for the first time in over 200 years. Or at least, he was seeing himself as Tav saw him. And… the person he saw… Well, he was gorgeous. White blonde locks, curled and tousled in a devil-may-care sort of way. A strong, patrician nose that suggested good breeding. High, sharp cheekbones. Full lips, upturned in a thoughtless grin. Red eyes bordered by long, sweeping lashes. Delicately pointed elven ears. Smooth alabaster skin, without blemish or spot. 

Astarion could scarcely believe his own eyes. 

The second shock to his system was the nature of their activities. He would have been less surprised had the vision shown them fucking. Him taking her roughly from behind perhaps. His name a cry of ecstasy from her lips as he pistoned in and out of her with a feral sort of determination. 

Fantasies of lust, of total domination, now those were things he was familiar with inspiring in the minds of the victims he had taken as lovers. It was what he strove for, in all honesty. Desire like that all but ensured he would capture his prey and live to serve another day for his master. 

But nothing of the sort was occurring between vision-Tav and himself. Instead, they were just… embracing? What in sweet hells was this?

She lay halfway on top of him. Her hair was mussed, perhaps from sleep or perhaps from previous lovemaking. One hand was drawing absentminded shapes across his chest, her lips trailing behind, leaving kisses in their wake. He watched as vision-Astarion chuckled softly, as his hands slipped beneath her sleepshirt to caress her waist, as he placed an innocent kiss on the top of Tav’s head. Eventually, she reached for his hand. They both watched their fingers intertwine, blissfully content.

It was the purest, unadulterated expression of affection that Astarion had ever seen. Something in his heart quaked at the sight of it. He wanted that moment. He envied, he hated, vision-Astarion for enjoying such apparent happiness.

So absorbed in the vision and its implications, Astarion failed to notice the soft padding of feet that indicated someone’s re-entry into the camp. 

“If the two of you are quite finished poking around in my head,” an angry voice suddenly spat from behind them, “I’d appreciate you preserving what little privacy I have left and shutting that damn spell off.”

Mortified, Astarion and Gale turned to see Tav, arms crossed and visibly seething with rage. Gale quickly dispelled the magic with a flick of his wrist. A blush was slowly but surely rising up Tav’s neck to reach her cheeks. Whether from rage or embarrassment, Astarion couldn’t be certain. 

“Tav, let us explain-” Astarion started.

“It was his idea-” Gale blurted at the same time, pointing at Astarion. 

Both paused, glaring at one another. But Tav would have none of their feeble attempts at backpedaling. 

“The explanation doesn’t matter. Whose idea it was doesn’t matter. The fact is that both of you violated the privacy of my mind, which I’ll remind you, has ALREADY been violated by having a bloody tadpole forced inside of it!” Tav shouted. At their words, the camp became enveloped in a heavy silence. Even the crickets ceased their chirping.

Astarion cringed inwardly, knowing the other party members could plainly hear this altercation and had likely stopped whatever it was that they had been doing to listen in. He noted the sounds of swords clanging together had ceased. He was certain Lae’zel and Shadowheart at least were aware of what was happening. Nosy bastards, all of them.

But what disturbed him even more was the realization that Tav’s eyes were welling with tears. She was too proud to acknowledge them or wipe them away. Such was her nature. But they were there nonetheless, and the knowledge that Astarion had brought her to the point of tears was enough to spur a rush of utter self-loathing inside him.

Without another word, Tav turned on her heel and marched stiffly out of camp, toward the direction of a nearby creek they’d identified as a water source earlier in the day.

“I can’t believe I let you convince me to perform that spell,” Gale said as she disappeared between the trees. He dragged his hands down his face. 

“How could we have been so doltish, forgetting that all of our privacies have already been violated with this tadpole business?”

Astarion didn’t have an answer to that. At least, not one the wizard could possibly understand. 

The thought hadn’t occurred to Astarion, he realized, because violations of privacy had been something so intrinsic to his being for over 200 years. He didn’t even recognize it as something abnormal. Like a fish unaware that the water surrounding it is, in fact, water. 

Violations of privacy were a part of life, at least for him. So much so that his request for Gale to perform that magic hadn’t even occurred to him as an overstepping of boundaries. To Astarion, it had simply been a matter of survival. He had needed to know another potentially manipulative person’s true intentions, and so he had found a means to uncover it and maintain the upper hand. 

Belatedly, he also realized that Gale’s hesitation to cast the spell had had nothing to do with being inconvenienced for the evening, but because the wizard had known that it was improper to do to another person. If he had misread that, Astarion wondered, then what other truly benevolent behaviors had he mistaken as pragmatic manipulation?

“I need to go find her,” Astarion murmured, clenching and unclenching his fists in an uncharacteristic fit of uncertainty. 

“Yes, you do,” Gale asserted. “We both owe her a sincere apology… if she’ll even accept it.”

“I’ll see if I can convince her to come back to camp,” Astarion replied, making to leave in the direction Tav had stormed off. 

“Wait,” Gale said, a hand on his shoulder. Astarion turned to meet his gaze. 

“Look, well, I’m obviously not an expert in healthy demonstrations of affection. But I do think it’s obvious from what you saw in that spell that Tav well and truly cares about you. In perhaps the purest way possible. Treat that carefully.”

Part of Astarion wanted to laugh aloud in utter hopelessness at the wizard’s advice. Someone cared for him? Truly and purely? No hidden games, no strings attached? Oh certainly, that wouldn’t be a problem for Astarion at all. Obviously, his 200-year existence as a master-manipulator-fetch-hound for a power-hungry vampire lord had perfectly prepared him to respond to this situation in a healthy manner. Obviously.

But all that was too much to reveal to someone he barely knew and too heavy to say aloud. Rather than giving some smarmy retort, Astarion opted instead to give a stiff nod and continue walking toward the edge of camp. He had no idea how he could make things right with Tav, but at the very least he could try. 

***

He found Tav sitting on a fallen tree near the edge of the creek bed. Her legs were drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around them as she rested a cheek to her knees. In the waning twilight, she reminded Astarion of some misbegotten gargoyle perched on the roof of a temple, solitary and so very sad. 

Her ears twitched as she noted his arrival. Astarion wasn’t trying to be stealthy. On top of everything else, the last thing he needed to do was scare her. 

“Can I join you?” he asked softly, wincing to himself at the awkwardness of the question. 

The reality was that there was no way to broach this conversation without some stilted beginning, and he hated it. Navigating tricky conversations was normally something he excelled at. But as he was quickly finding, when it related to Tav, nothing in his past life had prepared him to respond to her well. 

“If you’d like,” Tav answered tonelessly. 

Knowing it was probably the best response he was going to get, Astarion swallowed thickly and moved to sit down on the log next to her. 

“I… wanted to… apologize for what you saw, back at camp,” he began.

“Apologize for doing it, or apologize for getting caught?” Tav asked as she turned her head to look at him, resting her other cheek on her knees. 

Astarion balked at the question. Her piercing gaze unnerved him. He hadn’t really thought that far. 

“Both, I suppose?” he answered honestly, although it sounded more like a question to Tav. She huffed a laugh.

“You know, part of me really wants to yell at you. Scream in your face. Tell you off proper,” she mused.

“So why don’t you?” Astarion asked, perplexed. 

Tav didn’t respond at first, just sat there studying him. As if by staring at him long enough, she could project the answer into his mind. 

Astarion didn’t interrupt her, much as he would have liked to. Part of him always bristled when people gazed at him for too long. It was unfair that they could study him, when he hadn’t been able to so much as glance at his reflection in over 200 years. 

Finally, Tav released a heavy sigh, her body curling further in on itself. She closed her eyes as she spoke.

“Because then I would be just like every other bastard in your life who’s mistreated you.”

Astarion flinched in surprise. Those had not been the sort of words he’d been expecting. The truth of them cut deeper than had she raged at him like she wanted to. It left him feeling even more vulnerable, and that in turn made him want to retreat into the comfort of viciousness.

“I don’t need you to pull any punches,” he scoffed, glaring at her. “Go ahead and say what you will.”

She straightened up at his tone, opening her eyes and returning his glare. 

“No. I don’t want to,” she said testily.

“I don’t need your pity,” he hissed. “It’s insulting.”

“Gods damn it all, Astarion!” Tav exclaimed suddenly, causing him to jump in surprise. She threw her hands up in defeat. “I’m not doing anything out of pity! I don’t want to rage at you, because I know that whatever I say right now, I won’t mean it come the morning!”

Astarion blinked. Once again he was left feeling flat footed by the turn of the conversation. Sensing his surprise, Tav continued on with her deluge of words.

“You hurt me tonight, and I’m angry at you - and at Gale, for that matter - for what you did. But you’ve shared enough of your… history… with me, that I realize your behavior is just… just a byproduct of centuries of abuse and manipulation you’ve endured! And I won’t be another abuser in your life. I won’t,” she asserted. 

Astarion continued staring at her, as if she were some otherworldly creature that had just wandered across his path. He watched as Tav inhaled a deep breath, releasing it shakily. She turned away from him to peer out into the forest, uncertain. She opened and closed her mouth several times before actually speaking. As if whatever she was about to say was more intimidating to her than anything else she’d said tonight. 

“I… care deeply for you, Astarion,” she said quietly. “You obviously saw that in the vision. I’m not playing any games. There’s no hidden motive. I’m not trying to manipulate you.”

She turned to look at him again before continuing, her breathing a bit unsteady. 

“I didn’t sleep with you that night of the tiefling party as some sort of maneuver to gain your trust. Although I understand if that was your motivation for doing so.” 

Astarion’s expression morphed into one of guilt. But Tav nodded soberly, as if she had already expected it, before continuing on. 

“It’s okay. I’m not angry. But I’m putting all my cards on the table now, so to speak. Actually, your decision tonight forced my hand, but I had been planning on telling you soon anyway. So, there you have it. The truth of my intentions. What you do with that information is up to you.”

She turned back to gaze out at their surroundings. Like she was giving him the opportunity to bolt away without her watching him. As if she expected him to flee from her confession. 

But Astarion didn’t flee. He remained seated, staring at her in complete wonderment. 

“Why?” he asked quietly.

She looked back at him again, confusion evident on her face. 

“Why what?”

“Why do you care for me? You’re so… well-adjusted. And I’m well… this,” he finished lamely, placing a hand on his chest. 

Tav pursed her lips. “It would be a mistake to misconstrue my empathy for you as me being well-adjusted. Everyone has their own demons, Astarion,” she murmured. “Mine just look different from yours.”

Astarion mulled her words over in his mind, considering them. He leaned forward to brace his forearms on his knees, his head drooping slightly. 

“I…,” he started, unsure. “That vision… what it implied… You deserve something real, Tav. You’re incredible… truly.” 

Tav closed her eyes, bracing for the fallout. Even though she would accept his decision, whatever it was, she didn’t think she could bear to watch him deny her. It would hurt too much. 

“Look. When we met, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan,” he blurted all at once. Rising swiftly to his feet, Tav watched as he began to pace before her, near to bursting with frenetic energy. 

“Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me,” he counted off, laughing half-heartedly. “It was… easy - instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do… was not fall for you… which is where my nice, simple plan fell apart,” he finished, stopping to stand before her. 

She held his gaze, speechless. 

“I want you,” he whispered fervently. “I want what was in that vision… I want us to be something real.”

Never in a million years had she thought he would respond to her like this. She opened her mouth to speak, but Astarion cut her off with another sudden exclamation. 

“I just don’t know what real is,” he confessed, his tone a touch hysterical. Tav knew from his body language that being this transparent was completely out of Astarion’s comfort zone. 

“Being… close to someone - any kind of intimacy - was something I performed to lure people back. For him. Even though I know things between us are different, being with someone still feels… tainted. Still brings up those feelings of disgust, and loathing. I… I don’t know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I’d like to,” he finished, staring at her with beseeching eyes, willing her to understand.

Tav rose to her feet, coming to stand before him. 

“I don’t want you for your body,” she whispered. “Or to perform any acts of intimacy. We can be together, without sleeping together, for as long as you need.”

“Really,” he asked softly, his voice pitched low, rough with emotion.

“Really,” Tav asserted, giving him a small smile. “Would it be all right if…” she paused, conflicted. He eyed her curiously.

“Could I hug you?” she whispered.

The fact that she asked before doing so caused a well of emotion to spring up inside him. Eyes watering, Astarion nodded. 

Slowly, Tav moved forward to wrap her arms around his waist. Her head nestled into the crook of his neck and shoulder. A perfect fit. He felt her exhale a deep sigh.

Tav hugging him was a sensation unlike any he had ever felt. At least, any he could remember feeling. The act of being touched, embraced, without any desire for something more. She just wanted to hold him, feel him close to her. It was incomprehensible to him, but utterly enjoyable, at the same time. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, Astarion raised his arms to return Tav’s embrace. Drawing her even closer, he bowed his head to rest his cheek against her hair. It was soft, like the finest silk. He closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, appreciating her sweet, floral scent.   

She made to pull away after a moment, not wishing to overwhelm him. But Astarion gripped her more firmly, a silent urge for them to stay that way a little longer. 

“This… this is nice,” he whispered. 

He both felt and heard Tav hum contentedly in response. 

It wasn’t identical to the vision from Tav’s mind that he had seen, but Astarion reveled in their embrace nonetheless. It felt like the beginning of something new. And for the first time in his very, very long life, Astarion felt excited at the prospects of what would come next. 

[trash1129]

×,.·´¨'°÷·..§SELF-SABOTAGE§.·´¨'°÷·.. -a Soobin smau (+ written chapters)

Summary: After (Y/n) breaks up with her ex, Do Jaeyi, she isn’t left alone by him. Finally after being bothered nonstop, she breaks and tells him she is dating her high school rival, Choi Soobin. Now they are left to keep up the act of being a couple till this all blows over. Little does (Y/n) know Soobin has been waiting for a chance like this.

a/n: here we go again with me attempting another smau! I’m more excited about this one because I actually planned stuff for once :D I really wanted to try my hand again at one of these and wanted to try an enemies to lovers type situation

☆Rating: 16+

☆Release date: March 2nd, 2023

☆Ending date: August 15th, 2023

☆Status: ended

☆Pairing: Choi Soobin x Fem! Reader, mentions of past relationship with an OC, and maybe some pairings on the side if I wanna add some spice ;D

☆Content: smau with written chapters, fluff, crack (idk if it really is bc I don’t really think I’m that funny), some angst at some point tbh, fake dating, semi-enemies to lovers, semi-mutual pining, psych major!(y/n), dancer!(y/n), psych major!soobin, barista!beomgyu, college!au, slow burn ig???

☆Warnings: lots of swearing (I have potty mouth myself so they all will too), some suggestive parts maybe and some mentions of sex but no smut bc smut isn’t something I write, chapters may be long idk yet, I didn’t really pay attention to like grade levels in relation to age so we don’t need to pay attention to if it’s accurate or not

☆Featuring: the rest of txt, lee chaeyeon (iz*one/solo), Lucy (weki meki), probably some other idols in passing

DISCLAIMER: This is a piece of pure fiction and do not represent txt artist, iz*one/solo artist, weki meki artist, any other artist or reflect their actual selves or morals. All in this fan fiction is 100% fake and not real at all

Profiles:

The ass shakers

Soobin’s emotional support group

Chapters:

01. ONE OF US RRRAHHHHHHHHH🦅

02. You see how easy it is to lie?

03. Twinkle toes

04. Don’t HMU😣😭😿💔

05. I’m meeting Lucifer today! (Written, 1.9k + sns) unedited

06. That's the spirit!

07. That is a (Y/n) response

08. Very Soobin core

09. Is that Choi Beomgyu?

10. Soob is a broke ass bitch

11. I was threatened 🥺🥺 (Written, 2k + sns) unedited

12. I do but I don’t :D

13. Darling baby girl

14. FEED ME

15. Slay or be slain

16. Mean girls Christmas routine

17. Love birds (Written, 3.6k) unedited

18. Because sleepover :)))

19. In the words of Twice

20. And I’m Hyojeong

21. SHUT UP ITS GIRLS NIGHT

22. Skill issue

23. Keep my wife’s name out of your mouth

24. I’m concerned (Written, 1.2k + sns) unedited

25. No pics🗣️ No proof🗣️

26. Not you too

27. Oh f*ck

28. Prettiest face I’ve ever seen

29. …what?😃

30. I know. I’ve known.

31. fanfic levels

32. Master manipulator (written, 1.9k + sns) unedited

33. Crush (written, 2k) unedited

34. Limited addition animal crossing switch

35. Epilogue

Bonus!: New privs

Bonus 2!: Daily bf texts

[oddsconvert]

Shattered #9 - It's Cruel To be Kind

Previous / Masterlist / Next

Apologies for the wait!!! 🥺❤️

CW: Whumpee thinks Caretaker is new master/whumper, vampire caretaker, bloodbag whumpee, reference to vampire whumper/previous abuse/captivity, bloodbag whumpee, recovery whump, aftermath of nightmare, emotional breakdown/self doubt (August going through it!!!) [Pls lemme know if I missed any! 🫶]

---

The wind is swept from August’s sails. It feels as though he’s adrift in the open ocean. Lost at sea with no waves or wind to carry him to shore. A storm rages overhead, lightning splitting through the pitch-black sky, dark clouds rolling in. There’s an island on the horizon, a glimmer of hope. It calls August - it beckons him. And he tries with all his might to paddle there, waiting for the gust of gaia’s wind to propel him towards salvation.

It never comes. The ferocious ocean waves sway August further away. Totally stranded and utterly helpless. 

August skulks out of Declan’s bedroom in bruised defeat. The desperate screams for mercy and freedom fade until they’re nothing but a distant echo, swallowed up by the silence of the house. This isn’t working. This isn’t fair. They’re getting nowhere. The road they are paving for the human’s recovery is nothing more than them blindly stumbling in the dark and feeling their way around, and it’s to Declan’s detriment. At his expense. Torturing the already tortured soul. 

It’s cruel, August thinks. He took an oath when he devoted his life to medicine; he swore to alleviate pain and suffering, to do no harm, and uphold ethical practices. This cannot be ethical. Surely. What he’s doing feels downright criminal and inhumane. Is it worth the healing of Declan’s body only to terrorise his mind? Leaving him in perpetual anguish and dazing confusion day in and day out. Keeping him hidden and isolated far away from his loved ones.

August slides his back down the wall, head buried in his hands. He can still hear Declan’s shrill cries ringing in his ears, piercing through his heart. Honestly? He always hears them. Day and night. Since that first day Declan woke up and nearly burst his eardrums with his terrified screams. August’s conscience won’t let him forget them, it’s harrowing.

Because Declan is scared half to death of August. The screams are because of him. 

Home might just be the best medicine for Declan. That is the true cure August is searching for. Declan may not be held here with ropes and chains or kept under the lull of persuasion; but he is wholly and unwillingly dependent on August for his survival. Declan has no choice now but to rely on the vampire for his entire humanity -  he’s too weak to fend for himself, let alone chase his own heart's desire. He is reliant on the vampire for his nourishment, for his health, safety and protection and even his communication. His whole way of life. The only way Declan can exercise his own free will, is if August helps him to.

And well…Declan keeps asking for home. Who is August to deny him that?

“He’s going to try some sleep again,” Lucas whispers across the hallway, careful to slowly and gently pull the bedroom door to. No loud or sudden noises. They’ve learned that the hard way. “I’ve promised him we’ll leave him to it for tonight. He just needs space to breathe.”

And then what? Declan jolts awake an hour later in floods of tears and hiccuping sobs again? Do they ignore it this time? Leave him be and let him cry it out? Or send Lucas back in…he likes Lucas. August knows he shouldn’t be, but he’s so envious of that. He’d never harm a hair on Declan’s head, he’s fought tooth and nail to save him. Why must he be branded the bad guy?

August knows the answer. That doesn’t make it any easier.

“I have never seen fear like that in my life,” Lucas slumps beside August on the floor, a far-away look on his face like he’s just seen a ghost. He stares blankly, dead ahead, at the floral wallpaper across from him, and shakes his head in disbelief, “What the hell do you put a man through to make him scream in his sleep?”

Hell. Exactly that. That’s what you put him through. You turn him into a zombie, living dead. A body forced to live when its mind is melted to a puddle. You send him to tango with death and live to tell the tale. Hurt him until he can’t feel it, and even then still hurt him some more. It’s impossible to comprehend the horrors Declan suffered, or fathom why or how someone could do that to another living, breathing being. But it happened, and August can’t change that no matter how hard he tries. 

“Lucas? Do you think we’re doing the right thing?”

It’s a question that’s been rattling inside August’s skull for a while now. Guilt and sympathy fighting each other to the death. He only ever wanted to help Declan back on his feet, bring him completely back to himself and, help deliver him home all in one piece. August could never live with himself if Declan went home to his family,  lifeless and comatose. They may as well have sent him with his casket too. And he can’t send him back as he is now; the tattered man weeping himself into another dread-fueled nightmare.

Or can he? Should he?

“Without a doubt in my mind,” Lucas asserts, certain as can be. He says it with his entire chest, and he seems almost offended by the question. He straightens himself from his slouched slump on the floor, sitting up against the wall and crossing his legs underneath him, “What makes you ask that?”

August opens his mouth, but no words come out. His jaw clicks shut before he can even dare try. If he says it, it makes it all real, doesn’t it? Every worry springs into existence, everything he’s frightened of is brought to life. August will have to face all his mistakes and misdeeds, every foolish mis-step he’s taken in Declan’s care. But he has to own up to it sooner or later. Face the music. So he can do what’s right by Declan.

“I fear…  I fear we’re doing more harm than good to the boy.”

“August-”

“W-What if I’m getting this all wrong?” August falters, his voice thick with shameful, threatening tears. As Lucas shuffles closer to console him, August crumbles even more into the floor and wishes the ground would swallow him whole. “What - What if we’re hurting him, and sure maybe not hurting him like that vile monster who stole him but... in a different way?”

Declan still thinks and feels like a prisoner. He was trapped in Vince’s basement, and then he was trapped in his mind, his body and now trapped all over again. This time as August’s patient, stuck helpless in bed. 

But Lucas shakes his head passionately, giving a reaffirming squeeze to August’s knee. Lucas is too good to August, too kind and forgiving. It’s more than he could ever deserve in this life or the next. But right now his words of encouragement fall on deaf ears, August needs to be told how it is. And it's plain as day that his presence is damaging Declan, not helping him. Declan is still suffering. He’s supposed to be free and thriving, and he’s still hurting.

“Were it not for you, Declan would have taken his last pained breath that first night you brought him home. Even worse, he could have died a broken shell of a man in that basement, alone and suffering. You revived him. You gave him a second life.”

It doesn’t feel like it. What kind of life is jumping at shadows and cowering behind blankets? Terrified of what’s around the corner. A thousand words trapped in his mind that he could never say.

“I bought him. Like livestock…he thinks he’s my property-”

It’s time to call it a day, and let him give up the fight and lay down his sword.

“He’s just scared, August. He’s so scared, and all alone and horribly confused. He’s been through hell and back. It’s not you.”

“It is me, Lucas,” August disagrees,  “It’s what I am.”

A blood-sucking monster that stalks the night looking for its next prey to feed from and drain dry. August has spent his whole life trying to break free from that mould, to run far away from what he’s supposed to be and never look back. Somehow Declan sees right through him, right down to his core. He sees what August refuses and tries to hide from. His own blood, his very nature.

“How could he ever heal at the hands of something he fears the most?” August asks, disgusted with himself. He should rip out his fangs and run outside to bathe in the sun’s agonising rays. It sickens him that he is associated with the brute that did this to Declan. That August’s kind hunt and kill humans for food… for sport. Who could blame Declan for being scared of vampires. August is scared of vampires.

“He deserves better-”

“-Declan deserves you,”  Lucas’ tone was clipped, as if his word was final and there was no possible room for discussion. But August had known him so long, he could hear the affection underneath the terse words. “You are the best thing that could have ever happened to him. You were the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Lucas once looked at him the same way Declan looks at him now. With nothing but fear and disdain in his eyes. Backed into the corner like a scared small animal.  August remembers the way he felt when they both locked eyes for the first time, terror meeting terror; it felt like he wasn’t worthy of breathing the same oxygen. That he was a monster, and should whittle the stake himself and hand it to Lucas with an apologetic bow. 

Has August always mistook help for harm?  He must be doomed to repeat the same cycle of pain. Maybe it’s just in his cold-blood. His vile, worthless blood. Vampires hurt humans. That's how the story goes. There’s nothing he can do to escape that fate.

“My friend,” August chokes up, grabbing Lucas’ hands to squeeze in his own, and stroking his thumb over his wrists.  “I wronged you. I hurt you. Just like I’m hurting Declan now.”

A thousand apologies could never make up for what he’s done, the hurt he inflicted. Years down the line the shame and regret still plagues him, festers inside him deep down. Over and over he’s told he’s forgiven, more times than there are drops in the ocean. Again, it doesn’t change the fact it happened.

“You saved me,” Lucas gasps in awe, astounded by August’s confession. Something they’d both long agreed was water under the bridge. “ Just like you’re saving Declan. Would you have given up on me?”

“Never.”

“Then why give up on him? When he needs you more than I ever did?”

A fire lights inside of August, determination burns within him. This isn’t throwing in the towel, this is him fighting. Doing what’s right, even if it feels wrong. If it means letting go-

“I’m not giving up on him. I would never give up on him. I want to do what’s best by him.”

“I trust you, August. And I think if you just hold in there, Declan will learn to trust you too. It just needs time.”

Time does heal all wounds, as they say. And maybe Lucas is right. Maybe if they just play the waiting game, Declan could make it through to the other side, unharmed and unafraid. Yet August knows that these aren’t fresh wounds - not anymore - they’ve turned to ugly, withered scars. A permanent mark on the boy’s mind, body and soul. There’s no curing that. But could Declan learn to live with that?

“Tell yourself what you tell him. He’s not a captive. We’re going to take him home, yes?” Lucas quirks an interrogative brow, and August nods miserably in response. Declan is starting to feel like a captive against all intent and promises. “I think if we drop him off in human territory now - lame and pain-riddled, scared of everything that moves - that is what would be cruel. Us looking after him and building him back up for a little bit longer; that’s the mercy he’s begging for. Even if he doesn’t realise that right now.”

“How do I know which path to take?” August whispers with a wince, like the daunting thought threatens to implode inside his mind.

“Humans know so little of vampire persuasion, how it affects the brain and body. He could be stuck like this forever. His family will get half their son back at best. Who knows if his state will deteriorate? If he’ll ever walk or talk again. We can help him, August. You know that we can help him feel human again.”

“I don’t want to cause him any more unnecessary pain,” August laments, “He’s been through enough.”

August was never under any illusion this would be easy. He was prepared to weather the storm from the second he first laid eyes on Declan. Down in that basement; knelt and bound, small and fragile, unreachable and lifeless - drowning in Vince's power. August can help Declan, he’s got him this far already, he’s nearly out of the woods. They could do it, this could work. But at what cost? 

“Whatever you decide, I’m with you,” Lucas promises, “Wherever you go, I’ll follow. Always…”

August had saved Lucas before, hadn't he? Perhaps there is still hope. Perhaps he can still save Declan.

---

Thank you to @darkthingshappen for beta-ing this chapter!!!!

Next update will drop on Monday! (7/8) 🫶 Time for a lil flashback to how August and Lucas met... 🤫

Taglist: @octopus-reactivated @whatwasmyprevioususername @ramadiiiisme   @darkthingshappen  @whumpsday   @thecyrulik   @t0rture-me   @redwhump   @the-cryptid-finch   @snowstuffscuff   @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump   @wolfeyedwitch   @interdimensional-chaos   @termsnconditions-apply   @whump-blog   @leyswhumpdump  @not-a-space-alien   @onlybadendings   @darlingwhump  @sparrowsage   @flynnswhumpprompts  @whumpcereal  @wolves-and-winters  @ashh-ed  @idkmansomeusername @whuarri  @33-sdtr-45 @pigeonwhumps  @canislycaon24  @the-whumpers-grimm  @damienxozmoze  @predacon-skydrift  @morning-star-whump @neverthelass @espresso-depresso-system @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @mushroomlover554 @yetanotheraltwhumpblog @kadeee00 @that-one-small-world @doodlepoodle154 @sodacreampuff @cupcakes-and-pain @topsheepstudent

Let me know if you would like to be added or if I forgot you! 🥰

[count-alucard-tepes]

*squealing* omg please 🥺 please bless us Buggy-sama lovers with a part two to his fluff?

ALL HAIL the MASTER of BUGGY-SAMA FANFIC!!!

-🍁 anon

PS I love part 1

Buggy-Sama

A blind date part 2

Part 1

After several successful dates with Y/N, Buggy found himself hopelessly in love and of course wanted his beloved to share his home with him so that he could see them more often and spend even more quality time with them.

The question on his mind was: How would he ask them?

He had never lived with someone he was in a relationship with, being a pirate, he had to make sure he trusted the person completely before he committed to such a huge step in the relationship.

He needed someone to talk to and who better than a stupid Yonko.

“Hey, Shanks…I need some advice”, Buggy said through his DDM.

Shanks chuckled, “…the great Buggy-sama has called me for advice…I’m honored”.

“…you know…I knew this was a bad idea!”, he said before almost cutting the call.

“No, no! Tell me what’s on!”, Shanks said before the call could get cut.

Buggy huffed, “…it’s about Y/N…I want them to move in…I just don’t know how to ask”.

“…just ask them! Since when have you ever been shy?”, Shanks laughed as the DDM was taken from him.

“…the captain has had way too much to drink…and also he never had a proper relationship to actually be qualified to give you advice so I will instead”, Benn said as Shanks was heard laughing in the background.

“…you know he’s the worst, right? Hmm…alright I’m listening “, Buggy said as he took down some notes from the lady-magnet Benn Beckman.

It wouldn’t be long when Y/N would arrive for a romantic evening with Buggy, “…candlelit…yummy food…red wine…you really went all out tonight”, they said teasingly as they cuddled close into their beloved Buggy.

He blushed and gave them a kiss on the forehead, “…of course…I wanted to make tonight extra special”, he said gently as he pulled out a chair for them to take a seat.

“…you’re the sweetest…”, they said as they took a seat and began eating happily.

“…so there is something I wanted to ask…I’ve been thinking about it for a while now and…I’d like you to move in with me”, he said hesitantly as he played with his utensils.

His beloved was surprised by this, “…wow…you’re so nervous! I thought you were going to ask me to marry you”, they said with a teasing smile.

Buggy blushed brightly, “…I mean…I wouldn’t mind that too but I…I wanted us to start with steps that you would be comfortable with “.

Y/N was the one blushing now, “…oh Buggy…you mean it?”.

Buggy nodded quickly and went to their side before holding them close to him, “…move in with me and consider marrying me?”.

Y/N nodded and smiled happily, “…yes! Of course I will!!!”.

At this point, Buggy was already crying his eyes out! He was just to happy after such a long time! He finally found someone who was made for him and he didn’t want them to leave.

He held Y/N and buried his face into their chest as they comforted him. It was the best evening ever!

[m-jelly]

Hewwo 💕

I’ve been having Dad Levi on the brain again, and I thought of Levi singing softly to his baby until they fall asleep. His voice always calms them down when they’re unsettled, but he doesn’t know any nursery rhymes, so he comes up with silly little songs about how small and cute they are. They don’t even make sense half the time, and he forgets most of it afterwards.

One day you’ll accidentally overhear him quietly singing some nonsense like, “You are cute, you are sweet, you have tiny baby feet” and your heart will just melt. 🥺 When he notices you he’ll be so embarrassed, but you’ll ask him to keep going.

Maybe after that you’ll start coming up with silly songs about your bebe together. 👀

Daddy's here

Pairing: Dad!Levi x Mum!Reader

Genre and tags: Modern AU, fluff, romance, married couple, dad Levi, mum reader, cute.

Concept: Levi doesn't know any nursery rhymes but that won't stop him. Levi is always singing to his little baby girl Lilly to help her sleep, calm her or just to make her smile. His songs don't make much sense, but you and your daughter adore them.

Taglist: @ladycheesington @skittlelover69 @levisbrat25 @li-anne @youre-ackermine @nyxiieluna @nbinairyn @thebobaprincess @galactict3a @notgoodforlife @2moth-anon2 @demonsimp6

Levi slipped out of bed and walked to his daughter's room. He carefully approached her cot and saw she was awake and whining a little. He chuckled and pressed her little nose. "You should be sleeping."

Lilly kicked her little legs. "Agoo."

Levi smiled at his daughter. "Agoo indeed." He scooped her up and sniffed her bum. "Mm, poop it seems. Well, let's get you cleaned up and back to bed. Your mummy needs plenty of sleep."

He lay his daughter down, changed her and cleaned her up. He put her back into her sleeping things and knew she wouldn't go right to bed. Levi needed to get his sweet little girl to sleep so he could return to bed.

He sat down in the rocking seat and hummed. "Let's see what song we have for today. Yeah?" He chuckled and began rocking in his seat. He ran his finger down her nose and began singing. "Your little nose! It's like a button. I want to press it, all night loooong." He tickled her puffy cheek. "Your little cheeks. They're like marshmallows. I want to eat them all night looong." He kissed her cheek a few times making her hum in happiness. "Your little tummy. It's so cute. I want to pat it all night loooong."

Lilly tried to fight sleep, but her daddy's voice was so deep and perfect that she fell asleep in his arms. Levi carefully carried Lilly to her cot and lay her down. He made sure she was comfy before leaving her to rest.

Levi returned to you in bed and spooned you. He kissed the back of your neck and drifted off to sleep. Lilly was perfect for a few days, but one day she was getting really fussy. You were out at the time and it was just Levi and his daughter, so he had to think of a way to settle her.

He tried to bounce her in her bouncing bed, but she kept crying. He scooped her up in his arms and paced a little. "My goodness, you are really upset today."

Lilly kicked her legs, her face pink from crying. She gazed at Levi and whimpered a little. "Mmmm."

Levi sighed. "I know, I miss mummy too." He smiled and began rocking her. "Daddy's here. He loves you so. He wants to nibble on your toes." He chuckled as Lilly paused and gazed at him. "So dry your eyes. Don't you shout. Your daddy's here. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, baby giiiirl."

Lilly yawned a little and held Levi's finger. "Mm. ah!"

Levi chuckled. "You like that one? I'm the master of singing." He kissed her forehead and hummed a song making her relax. He sat down and started singing again. "I love you. Daddy loves you. Mummy loves you. My precious princess. So don't you cryyyy. You so very loved from your tootsies to your nose!"

Lilly giggled in delight at Levi being silly. She hummed in happiness and held his finger tightly. He shifted her and sat her up on his lap. He put on some music and bounced her a little. When she started falling asleep, he shifted on the sofa and lay her against his chest and ended up taking a nap with her.

When you came home, you lifted Lilly off Levi and put her to bed and gave her a bunny toy. You returned to Levi and put a blanket over him, but your touching him made him wake up. You giggled in delight when he yanked you onto his chest. He held you tightly and sighed.

You kissed Levi and smiled softly. "You're such a wonderful husband and father. Thank you for looking after Lilly today."

"Was your girl's day out nice?"

You hummed. "Yes. Thank you."

"I'm glad." He played with your hair and smiled. "You look so sexy."

You leaned up and giggled. "Thank you. You look stunning. I want to eat you up."

He rubbed your cheek. "That's my line."

You turned your head and kissed his hand. "Well, how about we eat each other tonight."

"Please."

You and Levi were wrapped up in love. You spent the next few days loving each other and taking family trips. You had Lilly to yourself for a bit as Levi worked. Levi called you often so he could see his little girl. Levi loved being a father and a husband. He was a dedicated man to you both.

As soon as Levi was home for a few days, he was all over you both. He would help you out around the house and he'd change all of Lilly's nappies while he was home and swapped the baby night shift with you.

Levi had Lilly one day and was changed her. He cleaned her up and held her chunky legs and smiled at her. “You are cute, you are sweet, you have tiny baby feet."

"Cute."

Levi flinched and turned to the door to see you standing there. "H-Hey honey."

You walked closer. "That was an adorable song."

He hummed a little. "You think so?"

You hugged him from behind and looked down at your daughter. You kissed his shoulder a few times. "Keep singing. You used to sing to me to sleep and when I was pregnant."

Levi pouted. "I sang love songs to you. I make up stuff for Lilly. It's embarrassing."

"It's beautiful."

Levi chuckled and began singing another random song. He smiled when you made up a song for Lilly. The room began to fill with songs from you and Levi, as well as Lilly's soft laughs of delight.

[echos-girlfriend]

Hello!! I've almost never made requests so if I'm doing it wrong please let me know.

I'm about to go binge all your Crosshair fics (because I'm a croswhore now apparently, it's fun) but I also wanted to request maybe prompt 2 from the prompt list for Crosshair/reader? I just think it fits his character so well. If this particular prompt doesn't inspire you though, don't worry about it!

Thank you so much!! I really appreciate it. 💕💛

Hi my lovely! I’m so sorry you had to wait this long! I’ve been struggling with writing and I’m very sorry it’s taken so long but here it is! And I hope you like! 💚💚💚 also I appreciate you reading my Crosshair fics.. he’s the hardest for me to write for so I put a lot of work into his! 🥺🥰

Crosshair & 2

Master list

Warnings: angst, accusations of cheating, hurt, slightly happy ending..

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Cross.. we need to talk.”

He didn’t say anything and only glanced up from his rifle.. you swore he loved that damn thing more than you.

“I’m serious.. I need to talk to you.”

He huffed and got up. Clearly annoyed, but he nonetheless followed you outside the marauder and away from the other Boys.

You stood there thinking about how you were going to ask him these questions. The moon was the only light around you both. As you gazed at it you felt a drop of water fall down your face.. it was starting to rain.

“What?”

His voice startled you out of your daze. You looked up at him. Your mouth was parted, ready to say words but nothing came out.

“Crosshair.. are you cheating on me?”

He didn’t answer and only sneered at you. Insulted by your question and he turned away. Wondering what would make you feel this way.. and make these accusations.

“Answer me!”

“No.”

You nodded.. trying to think about his response.. it was no. It was what you wanted to hear but..

“Why do you feel this way?”

He looked down at you while he spoke in that gravely voice.

“Because. You’ve been distance.. you haven’t wanted to sleep with me, or eat with me.. nothing. You want nothing to do with me.”

“That isn’t true.”

“Then love me!”

You practically screamed at him. And his eyes widened and he threw the toothpick from his mouth..

“I.. I do love you..”

“Then at least act like you!”

He looked at you with concern this time. His face falling slightly but his eyebrows remained angry.

“What did I do..?”

Your voice was soft and scared. You wanted to know if it was over.. if he was done with you.

He slowly walked to you, his hand slid under your chin and made you look up at him. Your cheeks were stained with salty tears. The rain was now starting to get heavier. Thunder rolling in.

In the softest you had ever heard him speak.. he replied to you.

“You didn’t do anything my sweet.. I..”

He stopped and you could tell he was trying to piece together words.

“I.. fear that.. when I’m at my worst points.. you’ll want someone different. Someone better.. last month.. when We argued.. I was at my lowest.. and I took it out on you.”

You put your hand on his cheek. A lightning streak shined behind his head.. almost perfectly.

“But when I’m at my best.. when we are totally in love.. I.. I know you don’t want anything but me.. and”

He smiled and held your hand to his cheek..

“And that makes me.. so happy Mesh’la..”

You smiled and kissed his nose. Pulling him into a hug.. cradling his head.

“Crosshair.. you’re so silly sometimes..”

-_-_-_-_-

Taglist: @umbramoons @techs-girlfriend @starqueensthings @ilovestarwarsmen725 @dangraccoon @kixs-husband @ughhhhfoff @chrissywakingup

[celestie0]

MAKE THEM FUCK LIKE RABBITS IN TBE NEXT CHAPPPPPPP. Like wdym bae u got the athlete stamina? Physical touch is your love language? You've been dying to touch me? my cooter won't let him leave till I've had my fill (pun intended) 😀😀😀😀

Ok jokes aside just finished reading the recent chap + the headcanons and oh god I have THOUGHTS. Kai and his loser clique can all rot, leave it to insecure men to try dragging you down to their level because your ambition scares them and reminds them of just how incompetent they truly are. I'm not a film major but in somewhat similar humanities field and personally I could relate so much to that scene of a group of guys putting a lone girl in such an intimidating situation just to "teach her a lesson" because they consider themselves experienced. Like go to hell. Kudos to her for immediately slapping that cunt and putting kai in his fucking place.

And as for our main couple oh my god 😭 yn you broke my heart by what you said to gojo (I can't imagine how terrible she'd feel once she finds out his past like it's just so heartbreaking to have lost so much and have to hear that you have it easy. Ily bby toru), but watching her accept that she was wrong and how they both communicated really warmed my heart. Fucking finally he admitted he likes her and wants to be with her. Now go be w your girl!!

Thank you for this chapter!😙 it was well worth the wait and I've been in such a good mood ever since reading it. Thank you for your efforts 🫂

like rabbits 😭😭😭🤣🤣 i am unfortunately putting gojo in celibacy camp for next chap bc he needs to master abstinence🧍🏻‍♀️it’s a 7-day program so we’ll see if he survives /joking. YOUR COOTER COMMENT HAS ME DYING

“leave it to insecure men to try dragging you down to their level because your ambition scares them and reminds them of just how incompetent they truly are”

just exactly ditto. exactly this. i’ve no words to add, u 100% slayed w this. kiss 💋

im happy (but also not very happy) that u resonated w the bar scene. obv not so happy bc i hate that you’ve had to go through that but i rly hope it was some sort of representation for what you’ve had to face :””) i swear men who try to sabotage women’s careers bc of their own insecurities r the scum of earth

AND YES aaa reader’s dialogue in the argument 💔💔 it was so out of line but w everything she’s been dealing w i think it was just a cumulation of all the build up. it felt real to write that part bc ive been in situations where i’ve really liked men who just cannot show up for me the way i need them to, and just turning them into a “villain” was the easiest way to get over them, and i think that’s what was going through reader’s mind in that moment :”) but yes she apologized n i don’t think satoru holds it against her all that much bc he understands her well, but oof yea big chance the regret is gonna bite her down the line

SORRY FOR THE LONG RESPONSE BACK BB i’m so happy you enjoyed the chapter n you’re in a good mood after reading it omg 🥺💕 thank u so freaking much for the ask

[blushedfemme]

Hi, fresh new anon here.

I just want to say I like a lot (most of) your posts and I enjoy reading everyone's asks too.

I nervous/embarrassed to even say so so I don't know why I am, but I'm in the 30's and I feel like I need urban dictionary open over half the time to understand all the different terminology and types of butches.

I thought it was just butch. Turns out it's like Pokémon and there's a dozen types 😅.

When I was figuring myself out (and I don't even think I have tbh), living where I do and with the information available to me, there was just butch and femme. If you were femme it was lipstick and that was all the terms I knew.

I've been in the community for half my life but there's so many terms I don't know or where I fit. Just makes me feel a little dumb I guess. I sort of put myself in the butch box but I never really felt quite there. Certainly not femme. Just not, I don't know, not strong enough or handy enough or whatever it is that "butch" was supposed to be when I was exposed. I'm like, butch lite? Like, I can hang up a picture on the wall for you and put together IKEA furniture but I can't go build you a whole new dresser with all my tools in the garage or whatever. Like I never unlocked the full subscription or something 🤣. And I don't know if there's terms for that or if girls like that. I'm just only 'sort of good' at all the things I think a butch should be really good at in my head. Jack of all trades master on none deal.

I don't have muscles like all these pictures I keep seeing and I'm a little bit rounder than I'd like. Got the chivalry part down though cuz that just feels like basic human decency.

I don't know. I like seeing all the positivity and love here. Maybe you've got some advice or some useful links or info or something to help a not-quite-butch out?

(The main point, besides, is I still enjoy it here and you are pretty awesome. (And also just pretty😳))

Sorry for the book 😅

okay i’ve been sitting on this ask a moment bc i want to give you the answer you deserve 🥺💞💓

firstly, i am so honored that you enjoy my blog and find it a positive and loving space!! i have SO much love for millennial butches, i mean i’m on the cusp of millennial and gen-Z myself but anyway. butches who are in their 30s and early 40s, i feel a special kinship and appreciation for you. social media queer spaces are super different from irl queer spaces, and the landscape shifts so fast i have a hard time keeping up, too. it’s absolutely okay to feel overwhelmed by the sudden proliferation of identity terms and to not be sure where you fit! even younger ppl who are less online feel the same way.

as for the other part of your ask… i could sit here and recycle the rote platitudes you see in positivity posts, that butches don’t have to be muscular, butches don’t have to be thin, butches don’t have to be able-bodied and capable of building a fucking house or whatever with their bare hands, in order to be butch. all very true! but you’ve probably heard them before and to me they fall a little flat.

so here’s what i’ll tell you instead: when i think of butches, i think of softness. 99% the butches i’ve met irl are not thin and muscular and hyper-masc. the fact that these images STILL dominate art and imagination around butches confounds me. when i daydream up a butch in my head and rotate them in the mind (as i often do) they’ve got a soft round middle, and a soft face, and soft, warm hands. they’re not chopping up wood or building me a table, they’re bringing me a cup of tea and checking in on me, they’re telling me about their latest LEGO build, they’re reading out loud to me from their favorite book. they’re chivalrous and goofy and kind. they wear button-downs with silly patterns and logo tees and hoodies and sweats. i’ve seen people call themselves a “soft butch” and if that resonates then that’s wonderful, call yourself what makes you happy, but to me butchness is soft. it may have a hard shell sometimes, out of necessity and out of pride, but underneath butch is always so beautifully, achingly soft. and it’s not about being super ‘handy’ or whatever, though that’s nice and all, that’s not what defines butch to me. i think if you feel butch, then you are, and if you love femmes and other butches, and you know in your heart that the butch role suits you, then that’s all you need in order to be butch. ❤️

i wish i had some links off the top of my head for some good genuine inclusive butch positivity, i know it’s out there. if you’d like to, please send another ask with a few specifics of what you’re looking for (essays? articles? books? videos?) and i will gather what i can!

thank you for sending this ask 🥰 my biggest goal with this blog (besides being horny) is to make butches feel welcome and safe and seen, and i’m so glad you’re here 💖💗💕

[adrianasunderworld]

Yuu: *makes the first years Binge Courage the cowardly dog, then they get to the episode where the old couple gets turned in puppets*

Yuu: I can’t believe none of you guys were scarred! That episode freaked me out as a kid!

Ace: We’re not kids, Yuu.

Deuce: Yeah we seen riddle overblot. Nothing can scare us.

Grim: And I’m not a kitten I’m the strongest mage in this world!

Epel: And I’ve seen Vil when he breaks a nail-Those freaks should be scared of me!

Sebek: I can understand why human children might be frighten by such foolish things. But as prince Mallues’s loyal knight I only fear for his life.

Jack:… your world is kinda messed up if this was for kids…

Ortho: I Agree with Jack’s statement.

Later that evening

At Heartsyable

Ace and Deuce:*waking Trey up*

Trey;Groggy af: Ace..? Deuce? What’s wrong is the dorm on fire? Why the hell would wake up at one thirty?

Ace: …

Deuce: Yuu showed us a cartoon from her world and we’re scared an evil puppeteer will turn us in to puppets. We tried sharing a bed but we got scarred can we sleep with you?

Trey; not even surprised: *sigh* get in..

Ace: you won’t let us become puppets right Trey-senpai?

Trey:…no.

At Pomefiore

Epel: Vil- San? Vil-San?

Vil: Ah, Epel? You better have a good reason for interrupting my beauty sleep, potato!

Epel: We watched scary cartoon with Yuu today, and I had a nightmare. C-Can I sleep with you so that creepy puppet master doesn’t turn me into one??🥺🥺Please??

Vil:…

Vil: *sigh* If you snore I’m sending you to Rook’s room.

At Diosomia

Sebek: Lilia-Sama? I heard your game and figured you must be awake…

Lilia: Oh did I wake you up? I’m sorry I’ll turn it down. Is everything else alright?

Sebek: can I please sleep in your room so I don’t get turned into a puppet?

Lilia: Fufu but of course!

At Ramshackle

Grim: hey henchman? You want me to sleep with you tonight? You must be pretty scared after watchin that cartoon! The great Grim will protect you!

Yuu: Okay, but we sleep together every night…

Grim: *makes his crying face* I don’t want to be a puppet…

Yuu: *sigh* Come here Grim I won’t let any thing happen to you.

Jacks not scarred, he might sleep with his favorite plushie but he’s not scarred. He will lie awake and wonder why anyone would think that would be okay for children to watch- questions your sanity because you seemed to know every episode by heart. But he’s good.

Meanwhile Ortho is trying to convince Idia to make a computer like the one in the attic Courage had.

The next morning, Yuu has a hunch that the others faired just as well as Grim, but all of them are adamant that that's not the case.

Just to be a little bit of an asshole, later that day they go, "I don't...feel like...myself..." and and Ace notices there's some string around their wrist. Deuce puts a hand on their arm and their hand falls off with a distinct wooden, thump. Suddenly the echo of the villain from the show echoed through the hall and the boys got the fuck out of there, screaming all the while.

Yuu laughed as their real hand popped out of their sleeve and picked the fake wooden one. (The had put a uniform glove over it so they wouldn't notice.) Meanwhile Rook popped out of where he was hiding. Yuu had enlisted him for the prank since he sounded the closest to the episodes villain.

"I must say, I enjoy this devious side of you."

"I'll be sure to ask for your help again then."

[ladylooch]

Letters in Your Last Name - Chapter 30

A/N: Oof. This one has all the feels 🥺 Our lil babies are going through it.

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: Infertility struggles, angsty

Negative

I purse my lips in frustration at the word I see on the pregnancy test in my hands. Beyond the bathroom door of our master suite, I can hear Luca squealing at CoComelon as Kevin, presumably, tries to drown out the madness of the toddler TV show for a few more moments of shut eye. It’s an off day, but his return flight from Arizona was late taking off after last night’s win. I glance at the white door, then focus back on the test.

Shit. I really thought this was it.

Kevin and I have been actively trying to conceive for the last three months. We decided to start trying on his birthday. His celebration in Switzerland included way too much wine, sweetness, and wandering hands from my husband to resist. But so far, we haven’t been successful. It all seemed like it would be so easy. Luca was conceived in one cycle. It never crossed my mind that it wouldn’t be the same with the second. After the first negative test, I shook it off- no big deal. The second negative made me angry. And now this third one just feels like the beginning of a black hole opening up beneath my feet. I don’t know how I’m going to go out there and tell Kevin it’s a no… again.

I gently rest the test back onto the counter and sit on the closed toilet lid. Maybe the test is faulty? I grab the directions, looking for what I should see if the test was inconclusive or defective. After a quick re-read, I know it's not. I grip my hands together and lean forward to stretch out my lower back. While I hang in the stretch, I think about all the things we have been trying. We have been having sex every other day. I’ve lightened my work outs. I’ve tracked ovulation down to the hour with every app and test I can find. This last month, I stopped drinking completely, even while my toddler has descended deeply into the terrible twos.

What gives?

As I sit back up, I feel the frustrated tears building in my eyes. This sucks. I stand, grabbing the test and chucking it into the garbage under the sink. It lands face up so that damn word mocks me and my empty womb. So I reach in and flip it over, then wash my hands. I look at myself in the mirror while I dry off. I look and feel perfectly healthy- glowing skin, bright eyes, and shiny hair from the extra vitamins. Why isn’t any of this working?

I open the bathroom door, causing both my boys to look at me. Luca because he is looking for the snack I promised him before I went in there and Kevin because he wants to know the results. My husband’s eyes are hopeful and expectant on me. I just shake my head in the negative at him and focus on our son.

“Are you ready for some yogurt!?” I ask Luca as I swoop him up into my arms and onto my hip.

“Yuh!” He squeals, bouncing excitedly and reaching towards the door that leads out of our bedroom.

“Sam.” Kevin calls to me from the bed as he sits up. His chest is bare as he scratches at the dark hairs there. “Are you okay?” His voice is soft as he picks up on my obvious mood change.

“Yep!” I exclaim, smooching our son’s soft cheek loudly. I turn and head out of the bedroom without another word to my husband. I don’t have to see Kevin to know his face is dripping with concern.

Luca and I enter the kitchen, feet quietly padding across the wood floor. I place him in his high chair then go to the fridge to grab his yogurt.

“Mmm!” He says, bringing his fingers to his lips to indicate his hunger.

“Yes, I know you’re hungry.” I say to him, watching as he fidgets in the chair. His impatience is growing by the second. So I go to the pantry and grab a few Gerber puffs, shaking them onto his tray to occupy him while I get the rest of his snack ready.

I carefully spoon out the vanilla yogurt into his green, plastic bowl. As I do so, I make a mental note to add yogurt to the list of groceries I am going to order for today. I didn’t get to the store yesterday because Luca was having a rough day. I didn’t trust that he wouldn’t reach a stage 5 freak out having to sit in the cart while I shopped. As I reach for the small spoon for our son, Kevin’s hands come to my hips. I resist the urge to pull away, recognizing he’s trying to help.

“Can you talk to me?” He holds me in place against the counter, hips pressing into my butt in a gentle pin.

“No.” I respond immediately.

“Babe, I know you’re disappointed-" He begins. I whirl around, tugging myself out of his grip.

“What did I just say?” I snap. My eyes are filled with fire as I stare back at him. His shoulders deflate in defeat as he grabs Luca’s bowl to bring him the snack. I watch with my fierce gaze fixed on his broad shoulders.

“Mama hat Joghurt für dich gemacht.” Kevin says to Luca in German. “Fressen.” He sets the bowl in front of him, then turns back to look at me across the kitchen. Our eyes meet but I look away, trying to mask my shame with anger.

“When it’s the right time for us… it will happen.” He finally says to me.

I chomp down on my bottom lip. My tears betray me, falling over my lashes and down my cheeks. Kevin hesitantly walks over to me. Our son watches our exchange curiously as he smears white yogurt across his lips. I stare at Luca as Kevin wraps me into his arms, holding me to his bare chest. My tears fall against his warm skin as he runs his fingers though my pony tail.

“I’m not disappointed.” I finally whisper, voice wavering with my tears. “I’m devastated.” The last word comes out as a squeak.

“We haven’t been trying that long, bubba.”

“Compared to Luca we have.”

“Well.. maybe that’s the first lesson here. Our kids won’t be the same and now neither are their creations.”

“Damn, that’s insightful.” I murmur with a slight laugh. Between the tears and speaking my feelings out loud to him, I already feel a bit lighter.

“Please look at me.” I shyly tilt my face up to his. His hands come to my cheeks, wiping at my tears in the way only he is good at. Each swipe of his thumbs soothes the ache in my chest.

“I just want to do this for us.”

“Baby, you already have. And you will again. I feel it. But you gotta relax.” His eyes widen a bit at the way his words come out. He knows that’s risky but he continues. “You being this stressed and having it all down to a science… it’s not working. You need to be loose.”

I know he is right. The last few times we have had sex, it’s been difficult for me to enjoy it. I’ve been so focused on flipping to my back immediately and holding all of him in me that I can’t let go enough to be in the moment. Last time, Kevin actually asked me if I came. I did, but it wasn’t anything earth shattering. I’m not sure that he believed me in the end. When I tried to initiate sex with him the next night, he gripped my wrist to stop my stroking and pushed me away, claiming he was exhausted from practice.

“Mama.” Luca calls to me as he lifts his bowl and begins to tilt it over his head.

“Ah, Luca!” Kevin and I sputter out at the same time to try and stop him. It’s way too late. The goopy, white yogurt drips down from his dark hair as he giggles. “Oops!” I close my eyes, chest shaking with quiet laughter.

“You sure you want more of this?” Kevin jokes as we go closer to our son. Both of us stare at him, not sure how to proceed with cleaning up this mess. Luca reaches his hands up, scraping some of the yogurt from his hair and eating it. “Ew.” Kevin grimaces, picking him up and bringing him to the kitchen sink.

We work together to rinse the yogurt from his hair with the sprayer. Luca hates every second of it, fighting Kevin’s grip with all the strength he can muster. It’s not a match for his professional athlete father.

“Tatínek.” He moans at Kevin in Czech. I know that means dad.

“Yaya. Jen trochu déle. máma je skoro hotová. Buď dobrý, prosím.” I watch as Luca completely comprehends the Czech and relaxes.

“What did you say?” I ask Kevin.

“Just a little longer. Mama is almost done and please be good.” He translates as I turn the faucet off and place the sprayer back in the holder. I shake my head.

“One day he’s going to speak to me in Czech or German and I’m going to just stare at him slack jawed while he’s telling me to F off.” I grab a fresh, fluffy towel from the kitchen drawer and work it over our son’s wet hair. Luca closes his eyes and waits patiently.

“No.” Kevin shakes his head at me. “He knows only to speak English with you.”

“He’s not even two. What do you mean he knows?”

“He just does.” Kevin insists. “Plus I won’t teach him any bad words.” Kevin smirks at the end, completely full of shit. He works our baby’s now wet t-shirt over his head. “I’ll go get a new one.” I grab Luca from his hands as he walks to the stairs.

“Who am I?” I wonder to our son.

“Mama!” He grins at me.

“Who is that?” I ask, pointing to where Kevin is walking back into the room.

“Tatínek.” He looks at Kevin, who nods in encouragement.

“Dobrá práce kamaráde.” Good job, buddy.

“What even is my life..” I laugh, handing our baby to Kevin.

“It’s just normal to me. I’ve always spoken multiple languages at home. It’s great. More ways to say I love you.” My husband reminds me. He easily slips Luca’s new shirt on. It’s a Minnesota Wild shirt we got early on in my pregnancy. Seeing it fit now makes my heart ache a bit more in my chest.

“Tell me in all of them.” I murmur, winding my hands around his hips, remembering his vows, wanting to hear it all from his lips again. Kevin smiles, squeezing me tighter as he settles Luca to the other side of his chest. Luca pats at my face as Kevin begins to speak. “Miluji tě. Ich liebe dich. Je’taime. Jag älskar dig. I love you.”

Luca, who recognizes several of those words, squeals in delight and leans down for a wet smooch on my lips.

I close my eyes as Kevin sways the three of us together.

He is right. This is enough. For now. Until it’s our time again.

_ _ _

The consistent pattering of the water against the shower glass is a soothing noise as I swipe the finishing touches of mascara onto my lashes. I lean back from the mirror, taking in the full look of my dark, event make up. I look like a star player’s wife, which is good as tonight is the annual Wild About Children gala. It’s important for me to look the part that is expected of me. But more so than that, I’m looking to tease my husband all night. It’s rare for us to have a night this fancy and I’m ready to take full advantage of it.

My make up is almost there. I just need to fix a smudge of eyeliner then I’m ready for setting spray. I open the closet in the bathroom, rummaging around for a Q-tip. I reach around the pregnancy tests, a slight smile tilting at my lips.

I’ll be using one of those tomorrow. My tracking app has been warning me of my lateness the last couple of days. But, truthfully, fear has been holding me back. I’ve already been playing the part of a pregnant woman the last few months. I’ve forgone drinking, been taking vitamins, and avoiding foods known to be hazardous. Yet, I’ve been struggling to get the courage to take the test. The devastation has been choking each time I haven’t seen the answer we want. Plus, with Kevin being on the road earlier this week, it felt too daunting to do alone.

The shower stops as I shut the door. I wet the Q- tip and carefully swipe off the excess black. My eyes drift beyond my face in the mirror to my husband. Water runs down the sculpted ridges of his body. The view is goosebump inducing. If my parents weren’t already here for Luca, I’d be bending over this counter, ass in the air, begging for him to fill me. Kevin’s eyes meet mine in the mirror where he gives me a knowing grin. We’ve been here before after all. He doesn’t provoke me, awareness of our guests and the time holding his thoughts in.

“Later.” He promises instead. I nod my head in agreement.

“Sure, but just so you know…” I tell him as he towels off his hair. “I’m late.”

“Yeah?” He grins at me in the mirror.

“Yeah.” I reciprocate his grin.

“You gonna take a test?”

“I will, but not tonight. It can wait until tomorrow.” Kevin nods because he understands the disappointment from the previous times. This is our first night out together in awhile and with it being a team and fan event, we both need to be on.

“I love you.” He says to me as he puts the used towel back on his hook. He leans forward and kisses the side of my head, careful of the make up I have been diligently working on for a half hour.

“Love you.” I murmur back to him, eyes trailing generously over his body as he walks to the closet. His firm ass bounces with each of his steps. “Is this what you’re wearing?” He asks, holding up my long, emerald dress.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” He nods. “I have to wear black.” He murmurs mostly to himself, beginning to grab the pieces of his outfit together.

I fluff my hair briefly then join him in the closet. I undress before working the zipper of the dress down. My arms glide into the long sleeves then I pull the fabric up my body. I turn my back towards Kevin and he pauses from buckling his belt to zip me up. The dress exposes my skin with a V that goes to my mid-back. Kevin places his lips along that bare skin before allowing my hair to fall back down my shoulders.

I move from the closet and re-enter the bathroom to fasten my earrings and necklace on. I re-adjust my wedding rings to be centered on my finger, then give an approving nod at my reflection.

“Are you almost ready?” Kevin asks as he tightens his tie. I walk back into the closet, searching for my black, strappy heals. I grab them in my hands, tossing them into our bedroom by my clutch.

“Yes, I just need to use the bathroom then we are out the door.” I press my lips to his in a quick peck before starting to dash out of the closet.

“Hey.” He murmurs to me, grabbing my hand to stop me for a moment.

“Hm?” My green eyes find his. My lips break into a huge grin at the look he’s giving me.

“You look so damn sexy.” His eyes trail along all his favorite places, perfectly accented by the velvet fabric. He lingers at the slit going up my left thigh. I can already imagine the sinister thoughts he has involving that slice of my skin. “I can’t wait to walk in tonight with your hand in mine… everyone knowing who you belong to.” The possessiveness in his voice and touch has a shiver of pleasure rolling through my body.

“If you don’t let me go, we might not make it.” I tease him, dropping his fingers and returning to my quest for the bathroom.

“Not sure that would be a bad thing.” He calls to me. My light laughter echos in the bathroom as I shut the door.

I carefully move my dress around and sit. Once I’m finished, I stand, then go to push down on the lever. I pause when I look down at the surprise that awaits me. I have my period. I place my hand over my lower stomach, recognizing the dull cramping beneath. I was so rushed getting ready that I didn’t notice anything until now.

An overwhelming sadness descends on my body. I grab a tampon, putting it in place. I press my palms flat against the cool counter of the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. I look beautiful, perfectly put together, dark make up accenting my winter skin and chocolate brown hair. But the pain in my green eyes radiates obviously over the rest of my figure. My lips begin to crumple into a sob, but I press them hard together to stop the impending tears.

I don’t have time to do this right now. We need to leave.

I reach into the drawer, grabbing a handful of tampons and heading back into the bedroom. Kevin is sitting on our bed, finishing sliding into dress shoes. My small clutch is next to his thigh, heels next to his feet. He greets me with a smile briefly before it slides off when he sees what’s in my hand. His eyes go to my face, but I can’t return his gaze. I stuff the tampons in my clutch and snap it shut decidedly.

“I guess we don’t need a test. It’s a no.” I say, shrugging my shoulders. “I want to be done trying.” I blurt, tears evident in my voice with each word dropping from my lips. The words are surprising to me when they hit the air but after they are out, I’m glad. I know this is the right decision. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Okay.” He answers, grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze. He looks like he wants to say more, but the misery on my face stops him.

“Let’s go say goodnight to our baby.”

Kevin and I walk silently downstairs to where my parents are sitting with Luca in the kitchen. He is happily snacking on a piece of pizza and a cheese stick. My eyes blur for a brief moment when I look at him. I love this kid so damn much. I love being a mom. I love having Kevin as my co-parent. I want to add to our family so badly. Why isn’t it in our cards right now?

“Bye sweet boy.” I gently press my nose into Luca’s hair, not kissing him to avoid transferring my dark lipstick to his face. “Thank you for taking care of him tonight.” I say to my parents as Kevin says goodbye next.

“Of course.” My mom murmurs. Her eyes are inquisitive as she studies me. “That green is the perfect color for you, honey.” I smile politely at her, not able to respond. Kevin’s hand on the small of my back saves me from further scrutiny.

“We should be back by 10:30.” Kevin says to them.

“No worries. Take your time.” She waves us off. “We will have plenty of fun here.”

Kevin and I wave goodbye then head out to the garage to get into the car. The Porsche roars to life under Kevin’s foot as we pull out of the driveway and head west to the city. It’s a quick ten miles down Interstate 94 before Kevin is pulling off and beginning the twists and turns to the venue. He rubs at the skin of his jaw as he drives, eyes focused on the road but mind obviously elsewhere.

“Maybe it’s me?” Kevin breaks the silence as we wait for a red light. “Maybe something is wrong with my part?” I shrug my shoulders, shaking my head.

“At this point, it doesn’t really matter, Kev. I just can’t keep feeling this way every month.”

“Babe, we have options. We can go to a specialist and see what might be the issue.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Are you sure?” His hand releases from the wheel and he laces our fingers together. “We might get answers or suggestions.”

“I’m sure.” My tone is final as Kevin drives forward, continuing to bring us deeper into St. Paul.

The silence descends on us again. Once we reach the venue, we pull into the valet line. The attendant tells us we need to wait for a minute as the next valet is dashing back from the parking ramp. Kevin’s hand is still in mine as the music from my Spotify wraps around us. I fidget with the clip on my YSL clutch. I can feel his gaze on me as we wait. I have nothing left to say or do or convey about this decision. Only the knowing that I can’t keep subjecting myself to this heartbreak month after month.

“I love you, baby.” His tender tone is instantly soothing to me. It wraps around my heart, easing into the cracks and chips there from this entire experience. In this moment, where I struggle to love me, my husband shows up unconditionally. Kevin’s voice is holding me up while the hurtful thoughts want to consume me until I don’t resurface. My green eyes meet his in a glance that speaks a million words all at once. All I can speak to him is four:

“I love you too.”

Yet, in the end it’s enough because what else is there to say but that?

[muddyorbsblr]

monthly wrap-up :: may 2023

Welcome to smth I’m gonna try this month: a wrap-up! I’ll be giving you all a lil recap of the fics I’ve read & written over the last month and hopefully this will get me to actually chip away at my TBR and get y’all on some non-Loki/Tom stories that I occasionally do read 🫡

Everything under the cut

Loki x Reader

Don't Be Shy by @lokisgoodgirl

The way that shy Loki being nervous about not satisfying Agent Y/N has me running around in circles in my living room I can't 🫠🫡

Hostile F*cks: Public Relations by @lokisgoodgirl

A perfect epilogue to this series that was a masterclass of holding your emotions hostage and giving the best payoff. And the fencing pants got a return cameo?? This had me giggling and squeeing and the second the fencing pants came out to play…running laps once again 🫠

An Interesting Theory by @infinitystoner

Completely obsessed with the dynamic between Loki & Reader in this piece. And the ending with Loki deciding that he needs more "data" to "confirm the hypothesis"? I see you, Mischief 😏🫠

The Prince is Dead by @lokisgoodgirl

The beginning had me all teary eyed and ready to fight; the end had me filled with hope and chortling at the tasteful dick joke. LGG really do be a master at holding our emotions hostage with a satisfying payoff at the end 🥹 I live in fear thinking what she could be capable of if she ups and decides to make a piece of just pure angst 😳👀

A Gentlemen's Agreement by @lokisgoodgirl

This had me having some good reminiscing moments of back when I was a Steve girly for a few months in 2015 and also deciding that Bucky's a second simp subject. Distant second, but a second nonetheless. The fact that there's even a second got me doing the Blinking Man at myself--

She is Beauty, She is Grace, She Will Stab You in the Face by @clandestineloki

The adorable dynamic between them when he caught her and saved her from tripping?? Her singing Hamilton without a care in the world? Their whole exchange in the jet after she offed 3 henchmen for hurting her mans?? I love them, your honor.

A Lesson on Behaving by @multifandom-worlds

Reader edging Loki and "suffering" the consequences? With a brief cameo from besties Nat & Wanda trying (and failing hilariously because Reader tried to go and get a snack) to hide her from said consequences? Sign me up and don't expect to be able to contact me for the next few hours because I need to recover from the smut 🥵🫠

Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Under Your Spell by @holdmytesseract

A Model AU where Reader's a photographer and she's been hired to do an underwear shoot for Calvin Klein…and Tom's tatted and pierced and--and--*melts on the spot* 🫠 Head empty all thots…that is all 😮‍💨

Bucky Barnes x Reader

shouldn't have gone by @imyourbratzdoll

This had me clutching at my heart going "why would he do this to Reader what the hell"…like no joke I needed a good few mins to start breathing right and not in the fun I just read toe curling smut way. I mean in the "If I try now I might start crying" way 🥲

Ari Levinson x Reader

Like a Broken Record by @howdoyousleep3

Ari with a plus size reader making her feel so empowered & beautiful in bed? The “I’m keeping you” vibe?! This had me 100% completely deceased when I read it while I was out doing groceries (bc y’all know me I should know better than to read smut in public but I never do and I might never will lol).

self-conscious ask by @imyourbratzdoll

This one hit me so close to home and honestly where can I get a boyfriend like this I would very much appreciate one 🥺💖

Give Me One More by @saiyanprincessswanie

This character + this trope = Ally dead in the water. Thank you and goodnight I am not available for comment at this time 🫡

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Fall Kiss by @animnerd

Besties becoming lovers after months apart and having some fluffy wholesome fun on a pile of leaves before having their first kiss? Lemme melt in my spot real quick aaaaaa

Clark Kent/Superman x Reader

It Got Worse by @hannibals-favourite-meal

Clark being a soft lil simp for his fiance while her brother Bruce has a hilarious mix of "I'm happy their happy" and "Why did I ever set them up" is such an adorable dynamic and I need more 🥹

Loki x Reader

rules of conduct: the checkout queue

Thomas Sharpe x Reader

the final Lady Sharpe part 2: a risky endeavor

[bbyquokka]

Hello!! I’ve been a semi-silent reader for a little while & I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy reading your fics & you’re an incredible writer! (Your recent changbin one is definitely my favorite 👀) If you’re accepting requests, can i request an angst fluffy fic about jisung being afraid to meet reader’s parents because they aren’t too fond of him being an idol singer & at first they really do dislike him, give him the cold shoulder & just try to get under his skin by talking about an ex lover & how they’re studying to be a doctor while jisung is just an idol but jisung tries to win them over by proving that his career would not get in the way of his relationship with reader?? (I’m sorry if it’s too much, you can ignore if you’re not taking requests😭💗💗)

tysm for your kind words and my first ever request! im glad you enjoy my fics and it warms me to know that you think im an incredible writer 🥺 ty for being patient and i hope this is what you wanted! enjoy and lmk what you think🖤 i appreciate you anon 🥰

Acceptance ♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚

🐿️: pairing: Han Jisung x gn!reader

🐿️: genre: angst, fluff.

🐿️: synopsis: you take jisung to meet your parents for the first time. will they accept him and his love for you? or will his idol status get in the way

🐿️: warnings: description of anxiety. lmk if there are more warnings pls!

🐿️: words: 2.4k

🐿️: master list

"Ji, relax!" You watched your boyfriend pace the bedroom, struggling to button up his dress shirt. He was visible anxious – today is a big day after all. You sighed softly when you realised your words fell on deaf ears. He was too consumed with his anxious thoughts.

You walked in front of him, hands placed firmly on his biceps "Ji! baby, you'll be fine!" He pressed his lips in a thin line, his face laced with worry.

"I feel so sick (Y/N)" His fingers struggling to button up his dress shirt from shaking, his forehead coated in a cold sweat as he looked pale as a ghost. You smiled warmly at him, removing his shaky hands from the buttons and buttoning it up yourself.

"Its okay, babe. You'll be okay, i promise."

"What if they dont like me? What if they banish me from seeing you? You've seen the movies where the parents dont like their child's significant other and they do everything in their power to make their life miserable! What if that happens to me, to us?!"

You laughed softly at Jisungs ramblings, your fingers reaching the top button. You left it open and stroked his cheek softly. His breathing laboured from rambling as well as the rise of his anxiety levels.

"you're going to be fine. you have me by your side, ji and whatever happens, we will work through it together, okay?" Jisung swallowed nervously and nodded. "Okay, now, take deep breaths, count to three and let it out slowly."

You took deep breaths in, encouraging jisung to do the same – which he did. You smiled lovingly at him as he managed to calm himself down. You fixed his hair before he sprayed on some aftershave. You kissed his cheek gently, making him smile.

"you ready, handsome?" Jisung blushed and nodded. Taking another deep breath in before letting it out slowly.

"Ready."

You arrived at your childhood home. Your finger hovered over the doorbell before looking at jisung. You took his sweaty hand in yours, squeezing it tightly.

"You got this, ji. it'll all be okay, i promise you." Jisung squeezed your hand back as a thank you and a sign of reassurance for himself. You pressed your finger on the doorbell, the chime running through the building. You waited a few seconds, hearing two pairs of feet walking to the door before it opened.

Your mother and father stood in front of you both, mother grinning from ear to ear at the sight of you.

"Oh (Y/N)! its so good to see you!" She pulled you into a big hug, squeezing you. You laughed, hugging her back before she let you go. Your father opened his arms out to which you walked into and hugged him.

"Its good to see you, (Y/N)" you pulled away and took a step back, resuming your early position next to a nervous looking Jisung. You took his hand and grinned.

"Mom, Dad. This is Jisung, my boyfriend." Jisung bowed respectfully, standing straight before saying a small hello. Your parents smiles faultered, faces turning visible sour. Your father tried to hide his somewhat disappointment but your mother didnt even try.

"So, the rumours are true then." Her tone cold as she looked at Jisung up and down, visibly judging him. You raised a brow at the sudden hostile mood.

"What rumours?" You questioned.

"We all know who he is, hun. We all saw it over the news and social media that he is dating someone. We didn't think it would be you, of all people." You sighed, letting go of Jisungs hands, his head hung low.

your father placed a hand on your shoulder, ignoring jisung. "An idol? really? are you sure you want this?" You looked your father in the eyes before your gaze turned to your mother.

"Why? What's the problem?" Your tone cold. Your mother shook her head, dismissing your question.

"Anyways, you must be hungry. i've cooked you some delicious food! come in." she smiled at you before giving Jisung the side eye. You watched your parents walk ahead before turning your head to Jisung.

"Im sorry, Ji.." You bit your lip, feeling terrible for your parents sudden actions and words. He shook his head and smiled, dismissing it and claiming he was okay.

"It just takes time, thats all." Was he trying to convice you or himself? Either way, you both stepped inside, closing the door and removing your shoes, jisung placing his neatly to the side. Jisung looked around, taking in every detail of your family home. Pictures hung on the walls, flower pots scattered in various corners of the room. Family photos on display.

Jisung approached your mother, who was putting the finishing touches on food. "Its a lovely home you have, Mrs (Y/P/L/N)"

Your mother gave him the side eye, not bothering to respond. Jisung nodded before retreating back to you and standing still, messing with his fingers. He sighed to himself. You raised your brow at your mothers actions, tongue in cheek.

After a few minutes, you was all seated at the dinner table, you sat next to jisung, opposite your mother and jisung opposite your father. The dinner table was decorated with an ararry of your cultures finest foods.

"This looks amazing!" Jisung exclaimed, getting excited about trying new food. You grinned and kissed his cheek lovingly to which your mother and father tutted. You ignored their remarks as your mother started plating up some food for her and your father.

Once done, Jisung took your plate "Allow me, baby." You grinned and watched him plate some food for you before handing it to you. He plated himself some food, taking a napkin and laying it across his lap.

You all began to eat, Jisung eyes widening at how good it tasted. His cheeks filling out as he munched on the food, occasionally dabbing the corners of his mouth with the napkin

"The food is delicious! I've never tasted anything like this before." Jisung said excitedly causing you to laugh.

"It really is good, isnt it baby." Jisung nodded fast, swallowing his food before speaking.

"I just wish i met you sooner if this is how good the food is." He winked, teasingly causing you to blush. You father cleared his throat, your mother watching you both flirt at the table. it was clear that they're both uncomfortable.

"So." your mother began, causing you and jisung to look at her "How'd you two met?" The question pained her to ask. Jisung put down his cutlery, wiping his mouth before speaking.

"At one of my bands concerts. I noticed them and i was taken away by their beauty. When the show ended, i looked for them and lucky i found them. We exchanged details and spoke a lot. We then met up again when i had few days off and we went on a lot of dates –"

"ate a lot of food." you interrupted, reminiscing on the treasured memories. Jisung laughed and nodded.

"Yes, we ate a lot of food. When my free time was up, i made a promise that i will be back. I fulfilled my promise and asked them to be mine."

You smiled lovingly, feeling yourself falling in love with Jisung all over again. He placed a gentle hand on your thigh, squeezing gently.

"Yes yes, thats very nice and all, but what about your ex?" You visible stiffened, looking at your mother.

"What about them?" You raised a brow. Your mother shrugged before speaking.

"Well, i heard that they are studying to be a doctor." You hummed, shrugging.

"Okay, and?" Your mother sighed.

"Look (Y/N) i get that you're in love with him, but your ex, he will have a much more stable income, stable life for you! They were amazing to you when you was together. I really liked them. You cant date an idol."

"Why can't i mother?" Your anger was rising, creeping up your neck to your face. Your hands balled into fists.

"Because, (Y/N) its not safe let alone stable! Hes a idol single for god sake. His life is all about touring and being photoed by paparazzi! Your whole life will be out there, for the world to see. Whereas, your ex, their life is much more calmer, stable. it has routine."

You swallowed, tongue in cheek. "yes mother but what you seemed to have forgotten is that, me and my ex broke up for a reason. They slept with someone else, remember that?" Your mother looked down, biting her lip.

"I love ji. with my whole being! even if he wasnt an idol, i would still dedicate my life to him! he is my heart and soul and i have never felt more happy, more blessed than i do with him. Why cant you accept that? accept him?" Angry tears fell down your cheeks.

Jisung placed a hand on the small of your back, rubbing slow circles to calm you. you wiped away your tears with the back of your hand.

"(Y/N) we're just worried about you, that's all. your life will be everywhere. you will be prone to hate." Your father spoke.

"Im an adult, i can take care of myself." You replied bluntly. Your father nodded, an awkward silence fell above you all, the food long forgotten.

You didn't understand. Why couldn't they just be happy for you. After your ex broke your heart in a million pieces, it took you weeks to get over them. When you was at your lowest, your best friend dragged you to an skz concert to help you relax and forget, even if it was just for one night.

You didnt know much about skz, only heard a few tracks here and there, but as soon as you and Jisung locked eyes, that was it for you. You fell for him, hard. You forgot about your ex, forgot where you was. it was like time stood still as you stared at one another, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

After the concert, you was making your way back home until jisung stopped you. he asked for your contacts details, wanting to get to know you better. said he doesn't know why but it feels right.

You exchanged details, texting back and forth for hours. you became close very fast with one another and when he had free time, he took you out on various dates. From restaurant dining to arcade dating, winning various plushies and useless plastic toys. You took pictures together in a photo booth, which you hold dearly to you in your purse.

When it was time for him to leave, you both cried. He promised he will be back and a few months later, he fulfilled that promise, surprising you at a clothing store. You was so happy, you cried. Before you knew what was happening, Jisung's lips were against yours. You allowed yourself to be taken into the feeling, the warmth. He then asked you to be his to which you agreed to.

You have never been and felt so happy and loved by someone – so why can't your parents accept that?

Jisung cleared his throat, your parents looking at him.

"i understand your concerns. i get that you want to protect your offspring and yes, being in the public eye can be daunting and draining. But i can assure you, nothing and no one will hard them in anyway! yes, my career is hectic and i will be away a lot due to scheduling, but i love them so so so much. i would never do anything that would risk the sacrifice of (Y/N)"

Your parents listened carefully, you watching their ever move before looking at your clasped hands on your lap.

"They will be protected against harm. I will protect them and so will my band members. They too, also love them and have welcomed them with such warmth that i am so grateful for. My company will also protect them from harm. They have power to remove anything and everything thats deemed harmful."

"But what about you being away all the time? they will be lonely." Your mother spoke. Jisung nodded, understanding where she was coming from.

"Unfortunately, i can't say no to my schedule. Honestly, there will be times where i will be away because of a photo shoot, or im shooting a music video. There will also be times where i will have to stay at the company late to work on music, that is something i cannot help. However – i will do anything in my power to provide and protect them. If they call me upset whilst im working on music, im sorry but, im rushing to their aid because they come first."

You looked at Jisung, shaking your head. "No ji, i shouldnt be your first priority. Your music, STAYS. they're your priority."

Jisung looked at you, stroking your cheek lovingly

"They are and always will be. i will always put out my best music and put on my best performance for them, but if you're in distress and need me – im sprinting to you baby." You blushed, looking at your lap shyly.

Your parents – who have been listening carefully, hummed. Jisung looked at both your parents, sincerity laced in his voice.

"I love (Y/N) they are everything to me and more. I cannot live without them."

Silence fell in the air once again, your parents visibly thinking. You sighed, feeling defeated as they stayed silent. They wouldn't and couldn't accept jisung, purely because hes an idol. As you was about to stand up from your chair, your mother spoke.

"Im sorry, Jisung. I prejudged you, its wrong of me but im just looking out for my baby. They'll always be a baby to me, no matter what the age and i guess i panicked a little. I never thought they would get with an idol, but hearing your words has made me realise how determined and how much you love my child."

Jisung nodded fast, smiling big as you felt a wave of relief wash over you. Your mother looked at you, reaching across the table to take your hand. You allowed her to, looking at her.

"Im sorry darling. I shouldn't have brung up your ex and just focused on who you have now. its clear you're both madly in love with each other."

You smiled, thanking your mother and father for understanding and accepting Jisung. Your father stood up and walked to jisung. Jisung stood as your father pulled him into a big bear hug. Your mother stood also, walking to Jisung. Your father pulled away before your mother hugged jisung gently.

"Welcome to the family, Han Jisung."

[techs-cyarika]

I want to talk about my Jedi Oc and the rest of you just have to deal with it 🤘🏻 @ghoulishhone I think I’ve shared this with you before but just in case I didn’t I’m tagging you in some Cas lore (and even if i have shared it I've made some updates so enjoyyy)

I cant draw so I used Space Western to make Padawan! Cas 🥺

Casadera “Cas” (Her family name is top secret and only her and the Jedi council know it so 🤫)

This post is focused more on her time as a padawan, trust me I've got a lot more in store for her

Jedi Padawan during the clone wars

She was originally trained under master Ima-Gun Di, and served with him and Clone Captain Keeli in the Outer Rim garrison until their deaths on Ryloth while defending the Twi-lek resistance

Cas was transferred under the tutelage of Master Plo Koon and began to serve with his 104th Battalion

Master Plo had just lost almost the entirety of his own battalion in a battle against General Grievous’ new weapon, only a handful of troopers remaining: Commander Wolffe, Sergeant Sinker, and Corporal Comet

The troopers, along with Cas, became the new command team of the 104th and the battalion was replaced with a batch of fresh clones from Kamino

The team became commonly known as the “Wolf Pack” by the rest of the Grand Army of the Republic

Cas earned the Nickname the “She Wolf” because of her fierce loyalty to her troopers

Some Jedi disapproved of her attachment to the Battalion and to the clones in general

But her duty was to protect Light and Life, and that responsibility extended to the clone troopers

Neither her or Master Plo believed The clones deserved to be treated like they were droids that could be replaced, they were living beings!

And after losing both her master and all of the battalion that she had previously fought beside, Cas would do everything to keep the 104th from facing the same fate

However, Cas developed a particularly strong relationship with her co-commander, Wolffe

One that some may have even called romantic if they dared use that word in the same sentence as a Jedi

The two stayed professional and never let their feelings endanger a mission but confided in each other and held each other up while the galaxy fell around them

[house-of-slayterr]

Major Blog Updates!!!!!

TLDR: I will be on a Writing hiatus as I do some digital spring cleaning and restart some old stories I’m not happy with. But expect many new crazy life updates now that I’ve moved. And some old, or maybe new ocs will start slowly trickling back in.

No wonder I was so stressed last year, I have 11 active series and counting… 💀 and yes, I am insane enough that I’m about to restart most of them from scratch. I wasn’t happy with the way things were going with most of them, and how sloppily they were written as I never expected there to be so many of you, to whom I’m very grateful for 🥺🥰🫀

This move seemed like the perfect time to just reinvent myself as a whole, and that includes my social media presence. I’m trying to build better, healthier habits this year. And one of them is learning how to say no every once and a while. Slow down and enjoy the little things. My Autism and OCD make it very difficult for me to say no to writing requests. But I’m working hard to make sure to only accept requests when I have the energy and the excitement to do so. I would be devastated to give you all content that I know is not my best, which is why I think a rewrite is in order. 🥰

It will be a big daunting task, but the point of it is to teach me to learn to approach my fear tasks like this. I have seriously considered becoming a writer for real and taking this more seriously, and Fan Fics are the perfect way to practice. Because you all always leave such lovely feedback 🥺 and it’s my favourite of writing. There would be no point to my words if they couldn’t be shared, and to have you all want me to write for you all the time is one of the greatest honours I could ever receive.

I love being able to give you all back even a fraction of the joy you bring me, by bringing your wildest dreams to life. You’re all like family to me and I love you so much. 🫀

So yeah, sorry if your faves aren’t back for a while, EVERYONES getting a MAJOR makeover, but they will be back and better than ever! I’ll keep the old stories up in case people liked reading them. But pretty much from here on out, assume none of my old writing is “Cannon”.

Also, New rule for any future requests. Please, please, please make them specific. DO NOT as questions like “can I get a micheal Myers fix” 💀 like sure, you can… but it’s not gonna be good unless you give me a prompt. Also please try to state any specific details you want added if it’s not just a vague x reader I.E. pronouns, name/nicknames, ethnicity…

Bare With me as my tumblr gets a major face lift. I’m gonna be doing a mass edit, making new master lists and fixing side blogs. From here on out all master lists and things to do with OCs will be posted and backed up on @the-slayter-archives I will still post fan fics on here first, but they’ll be backed up on there so they don’t get lost in all my reblogs 😅

Nothing makes me happier than writing for you all, but last year I let it get out of hand and stress me out to a very dangerous point. This year I will be more proactive about taking my time and not overloading myself with requests.

As for the Role Play blogs, they will also be getting a face lift. But do not fret my sweets, I will have everything neatly organised for your handy Dandy viewing pleasure. I will do my very best to keep on top of master lists and links (bare in mind I am still disabled and chronically ill so sometimes it just takes me a while to do things) that way there’s no stress for me in the future and I can keep track of all my things nice and neatly. My autism demands routine and hyper-specific organisation categories. And I’m tried of trying to fight it, so I’m willing to put in the work to make some healthy routines in the hopes that my brain will feel less like that of Frankenstein’s monster.

I will make Rule posts and DNI banners for all my pages. Therefore there’s less room for miscommunications. And I will be far more active about remembering to put Tw/CW. My wonderful partner @disableddee has agreed to help me edit works in the future and proof for triggering topics. Unfortunately Due to the environment I was raised in, it’s hard for me to tell when things are traumatic or abusive. So I never mean to trauma dump or forget tags on purpose. I genuinely do. It realise some of these topics may be triggering to other people, and of course I want to be very sensitive to that. 

Was I sobbing typing this post? That’s a secret I’ll never tell… xoxo Gosip Girl

Tag: @queer-and-utter-chaos @emeraldfangs @mothmans-kingdom @spencermaybank @joelsgeetar @x-littlemoth @frenziedslashers @willowbrookesblog @myers-meadow @ajarofpickledtears @keffirinne