#I literally woke up feeling anxious that I didn’t do my he

[m0onjellies]

God my sleep schedule is so fucked

[beah388love]

Fight or Flight

Full Masterlist Lando Masterlist

Pairing: Lando Norris x Fem!F1 Driver

Summary: You have an anxiety attack before a race and Lando comforts you

Warnings: Anxiety,reader has an anxiety attack, mentions of trauma,swearing,bad language!!! (Please tell me if I missed any!!!)

This wasn’t your first race. So you didn’t know why you felt so…Anxious?

It’s not like you was scared to go against your boyfriend Lando, you always go against each other and made a promise to each other that no matter who wins or loses it won’t interfere with your relationship after all it’s just a race.

But today you felt so scared, like you wanted to just run anywhere literally anywhere.

You woke up and felt landos soft fingertips stroking up and down your arm and you could feel him staring at you.

“you awake?” He asked and you nuzzled your face into his chest deeper before looking up at him with a smile “yeah” you breathed out tiredly.

As soon as you woke up you could feel that pressure on your chest. And the feeling like your hearts in your stomach.

But you tried to ignore the feeling hoping it would go away, maybe it was just pre-race nerves…

yeah it’s just pre-race nerves!

Nothing to worry about….its not like before.

“We better get up soon baby….i can hear my phone pinging with messages” Lando joked making you giggle, you sat up and lando pulled you back down on top of him, giving you a kiss on the forehead making you squeal “lan!”

“What? Can I not give my girlfriend a kiss?” He laughed and you rolled your eyes playfully

“You don’t have to yank my arm down to give me one” you sassed back making him laugh.

-

As you and lando walked in, you felt your heart fall down into your stomach and your breathing go and that pressure on your chest tighten and hit you ten times harder as you saw the huge crowd and the sound of everyone talking echoed through your head.

Lando could feel you holding onto his hand tighter than usual but he assumed it was probably because you didn’t want to lose him in the crowds, you both managed to get through the crowd and lando was about to head over to max but you stopped him “Lan I’m gonna go to my drivers room Kay?” You said loudly so he could hear you and he nodded before you left walking away.

“Where’s y/n going?” Max asked “oh- her room she’s fine don’t worry” Lando answered but it was more directed to himself, he could tell you was hiding how you felt from him.

-

You shut your door and locked it before sitting down on the chair and you could feel your breath going, like you couldn’t get any more in just enough that you could live with. It felt like you was suffocating.

And you could feel the pressure on your chest like your heart was going to explode.

You held a hand on your chest and tried to slower your breath in but it didn’t work.

“Fuck…shit please don’t not now.” You muttered to yourself as you felt tears brimming your eyes.

You managed to pull yourself together and wiped your eyes. You put one of landos caps on that you stole and held it down as you left your room.

You sat in the garage on a spare chair in the corner flicking through your phone and you shouldn’t have done it but you clicked onto landos instagram comments on his latest post.

UserA: She literally sucks! She can’t even race! And she obviously doesn’t treat Lando right! Their relationship is probably a social media stunt or a bet or something.

UserB: totally agree with the racing part - I know she got P1 and P2 for her last two races but she got lucky! If you watch her she doesn’t actually know what she’s doing! She’s awful.

That was only two comments at the top and you continued to read the other ones which were way worse…You frowned switching off your phone and tucking it in your hoodie pocket until, you overheard two guys walk past you and say your name.

“Nah she won’t be in the top three, she’s not that good” “yeah bro I agree”

It hurt reading people’s comments and it hurt even worse hearing them in person. You pursed your lips as you tried to hold in your tears.

You quickly walked back to your drivers room and locked the door.

You could feel the pressure in your chest tighten and ball up and it hurt so bad. It was like someone knocked the breath out of you and you could feel your brain going into fight or flight mode and you choose flight. You definitely choose flight-

You sobbed against the wall holding your legs to your chest tightly.

-

“why isn’t she answering my calls?” Lando huffed worriedly to max and he patted him on the arm reassuringly “I’m sure she’s fine Lando..she said she was going to her drivers room no?” Max reminded him and he instantly turned his heel to find you. Max rolled his eyes before heading to go talk to someone else.

“Y/n? Baby? Are you in there?” Lando said loudly so you could hear him “baby open the door it’s me” lando said but froze when he heard that familiar cry…

“Y/n, baby? Open the door” lando said as he kept jiggling the door handle until it unlocked and he saw your tear stained face.

“Baby what happened? Are you okay?” He asked you but you just threw yourself into his arms and sobbed “I- I can’t it hurts s-so bad-“ you cried into his neck and he frowned when he felt your hot tears on his skin.

“Baby…sh whats wrong? What hurts?” Lando hushed softly as he rubbed your back and gently swayed you both as he sat you down on his lap, on the sofa.

“I- I can’t! I can’t go out there- I- I can’t-“ you panicked through broken sobs and he had no idea where this came from.

He could tell you was nervous but he didn’t think you was going to have a full blown anxiety attack. He knew you usually had anxiety attacks over the crowds and people so he always made sure to keep check of you but he thought you was okay today…but he was wrong

Fuck.

“Baby! Hey hey! It’s okay. Just calm down breathe.” He said and held you face to make you look at him. his heart broke when he saw tears coming down your wet puffy cheeks and your now wet eyelashes.

You panicked and could feel your heart beating faster and faster “Lan- I can’t do it! I can’t! I’m gonna mess up! Im gonna embarrass myself! The-there are so many people! I can’t do it-“ you shook your head with broken whimpers and Lando could feel the anxiety coming from you.

“It’s okay” Lando whispered softly repeatedly as he swayed you in his lap. He knew this would help you calm down and it did.

“Baby. Listen to me. You listening?” He asked you and you nodded.

“Breathe with me okay?” Lando said and you nodded softly, he held your hand gently and held it on his chest and breathed with you and eventually it worked and your breathing evened out with his.

“Better?” He asked you and you nodded with a hum “good. Can I tell you something?” He said and you paused for a moment before humming a yes into his chest

“You are one of the best drivers I know. Except for me of course-“ lando said making you giggle. He smiled feeling like he just achieved a life goal, “I’m just kidding but on a serious note. You are going to be amazing. Don’t panic okay. Anxiety is a dickhead.” He said making you giggle again.

“You can do this. You’re an excellent driver and so many people know that, and I know there are dick heads online who say shit but it’s not true.” Lando said and you smiled sadly at him.

“But I know that you’re going to do amazing out there no matter what position you get as long as you try then I don’t care. - a wise person told me that once.” Lando said making you laugh as you thought back to the memory.

- flashback:

Lando had finished P6 and he felt like he failed not only himself but everyone else too. But like he just said.

You had told him those exact words.

You wiped two tears off his cheek and said “lan, I mean this when I say to you. I don’t care no matter what position you get as long as you tried. Then I’m proud of you.” You said softly and he smiled at you and gave you a kiss which you obviously returned.

-back to present:

“Thank you baby, I love you so much.” You said hugging him tightly and nuzzling your face into his neck.

“1. Don’t thank me it’s what I’m here for, and 2. I love you too….even more” he smiled giving you a kiss on the temple.

“Are you ready to go? Or do you want to stay here for a bit longer?” Lando asked you and you shook your head “I’m ready. Let’s go” you said resting your head on his chest.

He nodded as he held your hand rubbing circles on it.

You finished at P1 and lando finished at P2 in qualifying - he said he didn’t let you win but you know he did.

[zorosjuicymelonsx]

Finding You

First of all, thank you all so much for your patience and your continuous love for this fic 💚

Second of all: I really hate life right now 😭

I hate this job and I'm currently trying to look for another one. Its been really stressing me out and has affected my mental health to the point where I all I do is work and rot and mentally feel incapacitated to do any of my hobbies. Unfortunately I have to be an adult and can't leave my job until I can get another job 💀

Third of all: I really hope you enjoy this chapter, I had a little bit of a writers block as well but never forgot you guys and its all of you guys that kept me motivated to continue doing what I love which is writing and using my imagination ❤️ I can't believe we're on 4.6k reads on AO3 and over 350 likes on Tumblr, I thought my eyes were deceiving me thank you all so much 😱🩷

Chapter 10 Previous Next

Your ears pick up on the growing sounds of birds chirping. Your skin felt the blanket of warmth lay over you along with your eyelids exposed to the light of the sunrise over you. Normally, you wouldn’t be opposed to some warmth while you slept, however you found yourself beginning to overheat. You scrunch your brows feeling the heat continue to seep into your skin. Begrudgingly opening your eyes slowly, you do your best to scope your surroundings with minimal movement. You couldn’t quite figure out why you’re feeling so hot right now…until you felt the shimmy of a foreign object across your waist. 

Slowly bringing your chin down to inspect, you see a lightly tan arm wrapped around you. At first you let out a sigh of relief that you didn’t feel any danger posed with the arm and you certainly felt relief when you realised it was just Zoro’s arm. You smile to yourself before slowly closing your eyes in the hopes to return to your peaceful slumber.

‘Zoro’s arms around me…’

….

‘HIS ARM IS AROUND ME???’

Your eyes gape open in the span of 0.00001 seconds, your cheeks begin to heat up as you try to keep your heart calm. Even perspiration wasn’t your friend in this situation. You looked back down at the arm gripping your waist, keeping your arms tightly tucked into your chest like a praying mantis. Your ears potentially picked up on the gentle snores that came from him, your back picking up on the steady breathing that's coming from his chest. 

You didn’t want to wake him up but at the same time, you didn’t want him to wake up to this and feel the anxiety he described to you. You had to ensure that you protected Zoro’s wellbeing as much as he protected everyone else's. Taking a deep quiet breath, you bring your right hand down to gently pry his arm away. 

Amidst your efforts to avoid waking up sleeping beauty, you’d forgotten one small detail about him; he had this uncanny ability to sense any disturbance in his sleep. 

“Y/N, stop moving so much.” Zoro mumbled out. You sucked in a breath. 

‘He’s awake.’

“M’sorry but you’re literally a furnace. Please get off me.” You almost pleaded, you didn’t want him to feel anxious the moment he woke up and saw you. 

Relief flooded you as you felt the heat lift off your skin and the ability to move yourself around. He didn’t seem too bothered by the sleeping arrangement but you remembered how good he was at hiding his true feelings. You turned to look at him on his side as he napped, the gentle inhalation of quiet breaths that filled his chest. Your eyes zoned onto the sunlight perched on his tan skin, deepening his light caramel complexion. Your eyes crept up to his face and the peaceful expression of his closed eyes and solemn lips, the curvature of his nose and the apples of his cheeks.

Ignoring the growing heat in your cheeks, you move to bring yourself to stand off the ground and gently stretch your sore body, the soil on the ground now not quite as soft as you’d remembered it before passing out from exhaustion. You took a few steps away from Zoro, looking around the trees and over the lake to refresh yourself on your surroundings. 

“When should we go back?’’ You broke the silence as you continued looking around. 

“Gimme five min.’’ 

You rolled your eyes. 

‘Typical Zoro’

“You can nap on the ship.’’ You counter argue. You knew five minutes would turn into at least an hour. 

“I know.’’ 

“Then…what's stopping us from going home earlier?” You persisted.

“You.’’ 

Frowning in confusion, you turned to face the swordsman who hadn’t moved, his eyes still closed. 

“Me?’’ You questioned pointing at yourself unconsciously. 

“I don’t know when it will just be us two like this again.” 

Your breath hitched, your eyebrows relaxed now as you held back the sound of an awe you’d wanted to say in response to his answer. 

“But you said-’’

“I know…I’m fighting it.” His eye finally opened to meet yours, seeing the softness in his iris and the somewhat solemn tone of his voice that sounded accepting of his situation. 

You purse your lips, the guilt you’d felt for him came back in full force. Clearing your voice, you walked to stand in front of him, holding out your hand, noticing his focus shifting to it. 

“I’m starving, we haven’t eaten anything in over 24 hours.” 

Zoro gave a quick huff before accepting your hand and helping him up. In doing so, once he was up he dragged you into a hug, the air in your lungs practically squeezed out. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“What for?”

“Everything.” 

“Zoro…it's not your fault.” 

He looked at you solemnly, his hands atop each of your shoulders before leaning in to quick your lips a quick peck. You unconsciously slapped your palm over your mouth at the shock of his action, watching the red in the apples of his cheeks grow. 

“Alright, get us out of here.” Zoro tried to sound assertive and confident, unknowingly you could hear a nervous shake in his tone. 

Nodding, you checked your surroundings once more before creating a hole back to the Sunny. Once the hole formed big enough for the both of you to go through, you gestured for him to go in first. He walked through, shortly following after him and finding yourselves back in your shared bedroom. You turned back to close the hole, feeling the effects of your fruit wash over you in exhaustion. The lack of food and water definitely made it worse. 

“You okay?” Zoro cautiously asked. You looked up at him, seeing the concern in his eye. You gave him a small smile and nodded. 

“Yeah it's just the side effects, that's all.” You assured him. 

“Y/N, Marimo…is that you?” You heard a familiar voice muffled behind your door. 

“Yes Sanji, we’re okay.” You loudishly responded, visibly seeing annoyance on Zoro's expression as Sanji opened the door, followed by Nami and Luffy. You could see relief in all of their faces, a small wave of guilt flooded you remembering your sudden departure yesterday. 

“Oh Y/N-chan, are you okay?! Marimo, why does she look like this? I’m going to kill you.” Sanji's face of endearment turned to flames as his gaze went to Zoro who gruffly sighed in response.

“Sanji, I’m fine-” 

“Are you hungry? You must be, let's go.” Sanji grabbed your hand and dragged you out of the room towards the kitchen. You were surprised that you let Sanji lead you but your exhaustion really felt like a heavy weight on you and you didn’t have enough strength to take control from him. You instead just let him lead you to sit at the kitchen table, knowing food and water is needed to make a speedy recovery. 

What your exhaustion failed to pick up on was the hardened grit in Zoro's teeth and deep scowl as he stood there and watched the cook take you away, his hands clenched into fists. His anxiety at the thought of you was in his throat but at the same time his chest burned with anger at the contact Sanji made with your hand. Unconsciously, he let his legs walk him to the kitchen in pursuit of you. 

Nami and Luffy looked at each other in confusion before following behind and taking their seats at the kitchen table, each of them beside you. Shortly, all the Straw Hats followed in and sat as they patiently waited for Sanji to serve them breakfast. Amongst all your crew members, you were the only one who’d been slow at eating, almost picking at your plate as you took your time to savour your food. 

“Y/N, why are you eating so slow?! Are you full? Can I have your food?!” Luffy offered with a big grin on his face, practically seeing stars in his pupils which was soon wiped away as a kitchen cloth was whipped over his face from the angry cook in front of him. 

“You leave her plate alone, how many times do I have to tell you this?” Sanji said through his teeth, walking over to stand beside you and placed his right hand on your shoulder in worry. 

“You don’t have to finish it if you’re full, I won’t feel offended, Y/N-chan.” Sanji said soothingly, you looked up to meet his gaze which quickly dropped to his hand which gripped you gently. 

“It's fine San-” 

What you both didn’t realise was the grumpy swordsman who sat across from you had stood up to go around and grab Sanji's wrist and take it off your shoulder. The other's quiet chatter amongst each other turned into pure silence at the definite start of another infamous Zoro vs Sanji fight.

“Stop touching her so much shit-cook.” Zoro said in a low tone to the cook. You could hear the deep anger in his throat, shifting yourself to look at the swordsman and how his tone equally matches his expression of anger.

“Excuse me? Get your shitty hand off me.” Sanji turned to face Zoro head on. You felt sick to your stomach, you didn’t understand what had gotten into him.

“Why do you keep touching her? You understand she's my wife right? You think I wanna sit here and watch you prance around her like a shitty prairie dog?!” Zoro stated bluntly, you could practically see steam coming off of him. 

The question stunned all the Straw Hats including yourself, your jaw dropped and felt a wave of heat flood you at the sudden change in his behaviour, feeling embarrassed that this started because of you and furthermore more embarrassed it was happening in front of everyone. 

You quickly stood up to stand between the two, taking your focus onto Zoro to calm him. 

“Zoro, its oka-”

“Oh all of a sudden, she's your wife?! You’ve been nothing but shit to her, she's beautiful and the kind of woman that you don’t deserve.” Sanji bit back with fire on fire. You turned to face Sanji, now you were getting pissed off.

“Sanji, that's enough.” 

“Bite me shitty cook.”

“THATS ENOUGH!” Nami shouted as she stood to intervene. You felt a wave of gratitude towards the navigator. 

You took advantage of the given opportunity to defuse the fight and decided to drag Zoro by his wrist away from the kitchen and to the Crows Nest. You could hear the sound of Nami telling off Sanji distance itself as you both moved further away. You both arrived in the nest, dropping his wrist as you took a deep breath to gather your thoughts. You really did try to keep calm but you couldn’t help but ask the one pestering question you had in your mind. 

“What the fuck was that?!” 

“I didn’t want him touching you, I’m so sick of seeing him drool over anyone with a pair of tits.” Zoro hadn’t seemed to calm down since moving him away from the source of his anger. 

“It's not okay to do that, why do you feel the need now to start picking fights because of me?!” You were genuinely upset and confused. You were really trying to be considerate of his feelings and to assure nothing would change until he sorted out his temporary curse. 

“I may not understand how my head is working right now but I know for damn sure I didn’t like seeing that.”

“Zoro, you know what Sanji is like and you know my heart only belongs to you. I wanna find this bastard and end this so we can be together in peace and you don’t have to feel like blowing your brains out.” 

Hearing this you could see Zoros gaze visibly soften, the anger finally dissipated from his being. He brought his right hand up to the back of his neck to stroke away any remnants of anger left, remaining awkwardly standing there.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Zoro mumbled out sheepishly. 

“I think you apologise to Sanji.” 

“Over my dead body.” Zoro deadpanned. 

“Well it was worth a try.” You chuckled out as you stepped towards him to give a quick hug. 

Zoro allowed the hug as he stood awkwardly, you eventually let go and now both of you stood there not knowing what to do with yourselves. You suddenly felt a presence somewhere in the room, feeling the hair on your body stiffen. You had to concentrate on who it might be until you realised there was a pair of hands pointing towards the exit of the door. 

“Robin wants to speak with us.” You announced to Zoro, you could hear a grunt responding to you before you both embarked out of the Crows Nest and towards the library where you both knew she would be waiting. As you approached the door, Zoro quickly sped up to open the door and let you in first. 

You had to fight the fast-approaching redness of his courteous behaviour, mumbling a shy thank you and entering the library where you found Robin sipping on a tea in the most comfortable looking chair. Lowering her cup, she looked up at the both of you with a small smile on her face. 

“I’m glad you guys are here, don’t worry I won’t take too long. I just wanted to talk about my research into our swordsmans…interesting situation.” Robin clarified, a small pocket of air you’d held in relief itself. 

You’d always braced yourself whenever you were summoned by other people in life, even if it was over the smallest of things. You had to thank your dad for that, the bastard always made you feel like you were in the hot seat whenever you’d conversed (argued more like). 

Robin's small smile turned slightly tight. If that meant anything to you, it was that she hadn’t found anything positive. 

“Zoro has been touched by our friend who holds the Wipe-Wipe no Mi devil fruit abilities. I must say there's very little written about it. The reason that not a lot is known about this fruit is because it gives the user the ability to wipe either your entire memory or certain portions or people of their choosing, which is what's happened to Zoro-san.” 

You unconsciously nodded, recalling the prick had mentioned he’d purposely removed you from Zoro's memory. 

“When our friend Enver had wiped you from his memory, in the process he added some sort of barrier around his mind. This barrier is keeping him in a state where any thought of you makes him mentally push you away even more. This would explain his behaviour towards you and why he feels he needs to stay away is not of his own doing but because he cannot control it. It's quite interesting when you think about it and how powerful this could be in the wrong hands, in this instant it is and we have to stop him in any way we can.” 

“I-is there any cure to this?” You asked cautiously, soaking in the information Robins spent weeks looking into for you. 

A quiet disappointed sigh expelled from the archaeologist. 

“I’ll be honest; there is no known cure. Zoro could be like this for the rest of his life.” 

You’d felt your heart drop, your lip thinned as it threatened to wobble at the thought of your husband being in this endless cycle of anxiety for life. 

“However, I have faith that Zoro can break this.” 

“Despite no victim recorded ever being known to break this barrier, I believe that Zoro is strong enough that he could break the barrier. He has already shown that he can speak to you and be around you even if he is constantly fighting away the urge to be away from you 24/7. This is our hope.” 

“What about Chopper's cure?” Zoro asked. 

“Inconclusive, our poor doctor has worked himself to the bone trying to figure out what's wrong with his antidote. He may not be able to find a cure at all, however, I won’t discourage him from trying for his friends.” You hummed in agreement and appreciation of Choppers efforts. 

“Don’t lose hope, it's all we have right now.” Robin assured me. 

You used to be a woman of God, the idea of something better coming despite your difficult upbringing allowed for your will to continue. You’d since given up on belief since Zoro's disappearance. All the bad that had happened to you during the time you were apart and you couldn’t comprehend why any God or powerful force above would ever hurt you the way this did when you’d committed no atrocities and only wanted to live peacefully. 

“Thank you for everything Robin, I’ll be off.” You’d walked out of the room, leaving Zoro behind who seemed deep in thought. There was one question the archaeologist pondered about the swordsman. The swordsman had about to make a step out towards the exit until he heard Robin's throat clearing itself. 

“Zoro-san, have you seen anything come back to you in the weeks that Y/N has been with us?” 

Zoro stayed still hearing her question, choosing not to answer. He knew that she knew deep inside he had started seeing the flashbacks. He also knew she would be wise not to be and that she had to trust his reasons for keeping this to himself all this time.

Robin hummed, confirming her suspicions as she watched the swordsman leave the library.  

‘I wonder if he’s fallen for her again…’

————————————- ⚔️✨ ————————————

Taglist: @starlightanyaaa @eggrollforyou @rosellerinfrost @qalable @ecang

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Clone wars headcanons that took me forever to edit

I feel like my last couple of headcanons have been mushy so I’ve decided to write some shit Ahsoka and Anakin do that piss each other off 

Ahsoka bites the skin around her nails all the time and most of the time she won't stop till they’re bleeding 

Anakin’s tried literally everything in the book to get her to stop 

He tried putting spices on her hands forgetting that she likes spicy food, he’s tried painting her nails (like that’ll do anything) but she keeps picking the paint off, now he just uses the force to remove them from her mouth 

That’s gotten a few growls from her but at least it makes her aware she’s doing it but it doesn’t stop her from bitting them a couple of seconds later

Honestly he’s given up and just sits in silence while she complains about the pain

Anakin paces whenever he’s even slightly nervous and she can tell how nervous he is depending on how fast he moves 

If he’s just kinda anxious he moves pretty slow but if he’s like one shirt caught on a door handle away from a panic attack he’s teleporting 

When Padme told him he was gonna be a dad he was ecstatic for about 24 hours but after that some invisible timer went off in his head he booked it to Ahsoka’s house (she lives down the street cause of course she does)

Walked into her room and woke her poor sleepy butt up with all his pacing 

Girl swears to this day he broke the damn sound barrier with how fast he was moving 

She just wordlessly sat up and patted her bed cause she knew she wasn’t gonna get any sleep until he did 

She sat by him and listened as he rattled off all his worries and only really stepped in when the darker thoughts surfaced when it was all said and done she turned to him and said “Now let me kriffing sleep” 

Should he have probably left the room yeah but he got a total of 30 minutes of “sleep” that night so it’s not surprising that he knocked the fuck out of

Padme was a little bit alarmed to wake up without Anakin but was quickly soothed when she read Ahsoka’s message “Your nerf herders with me” 

She knew the pregnancy would dredge up some unhappy feelings and she also knew Anakin can’t think clearly if he doesn’t have Ahsoka to sort through the bullshit in his head 

She just got ready for brunch with her two favorite people and smiled cause she knew Obi-Wan and Rex would join them for dinner with or without an invitation 

When Anakin and Ahsoka were living together they would kick each other out of their own bathrooms 

Why? Well Ahsoka said Anakin’s had better lighting and water pressure and Anakin would do it to spite Ahsoka because he knew it would piss her off  

Slowly but surely their stuff gets moved into each other's bathrooms and it’s a weird amalgamation of crap 

Also when they were living together Anakin would ask Ahsoka if she was hungry before cooking and she’d often say no because she didn’t want to impose but his cooking always looked and smelled good 

So half the time girl would just end up eating some of his food when she thought he wasn’t looking 

At first he was like “Snips you said you weren’t hungry” to which she would respond “Yeah I wasn’t hungry then but I am now” after that he starts making more food on instinct cause damn that girl can eat 

Anakin gets back at her pretty easily tho by taking the first bite of her food whenever they go out to eat his excuse is that he’s “making sure it’s not poisoned” he never does this to Padme cause he respects her too damn much 

And he can’t use that trick on Obi-Wan and Rex cause the former taught him the trick and the latter has a bullshit detecter built-in 

Both Anakin and Ahsoka pull that trick on the twins tho (which gets them a quick scolding from Padme) 

Speaking of the twins it’s not surprising that as they grow up they realize that their auntie isn’t human so of course like any normal child they have questions and Anakin being the little shit that he is spots an opportunity for some laughs 

So he turns to the twins all serious-like and goes “Well my loves we actually found your auntie in a dumpster we have no idea where she came from” the twins are distraught and go to the nearest adult who just so happens to be their uncle Rex 

And Rex also being a little shit backs up Anakin’s story with so much sincerity that even Anakin believed it a little bit 

The twins being the angels they are apologize to their auntie for her terrible origin story with tears in their eyes and her reaction more than made up for the swift ass-kicking the boys got  

When Anakin was taller than Ahsoka he made her life hell by making fun of her every time something was even slightly out of her reach

He would make a big deal about grabbing it for her while commenting about how the temple’s architecture wasn’t made with the “young ones” in mind 

Obi-Wan has turned multiple blind eyes when Ahsoka socked the shit out of his arm when he tells one too many jokes some days

When she finally grows taller than him she makes the biggest deal about it and no one can blame her 

While Anakin is the pilot Ahsoka is easily the navigator she often jokes that Anakin wouldn’t find his way out of bed without help 

Which is funny cause he often acts like a herding dog with her putting his hand on her back or holding her arm to guide her 

But he’s wrong 9/10 times so it’s not uncommon to see Anakin guiding her in one direction and then see him get dragged in the opposite direction a couple of minutes later  

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

A little donut - Yandere! Giorno Giovanna x reader

So I did a darling playing with Josuke’s hair some time ago, and now I’m having brain rot thinking about Giorno’s hairstyle. In short American darling seems to have a psychotic break, compares Giorno’s hair loops to donuts and then he proceeds to fluster them in return. Specific donuts mentioned are the preservative filled hostess powdered donuts. This is just a fic for funsies

He was puzzled at your request for these things considering he could literally get you the best dessert in Italy with a snap of his fingers. However he decided to indulge your craving for these artificial things, it involved little work to get them and didn’t involve you going out. Also you actually spoke to him for once since he brought you into his home, which caught the blond just slightly off guard. Perhaps your walls were ever so slightly beginning to crumble?

Nevertheless you received your treat from overseas within a week or so. Made sure to be fresh (as far as they could be in his eyes anyway). A slower afternoon when he wasn’t deep into work, you were with him on a small table. Everything set up for tea, including your selected indulgence for the day. You weren’t quite as anxious as you usually were when the two of you ate together, your eyes clearly fixated on your newly obtained prize. Giorno couldn’t help but purse a small smile, it was like observing a cat with catnip almost.

He noted you had played about three of the small confections on your plate. Before gently pinching up one with your index and thumb, a bit of the powder flaking into your dish as you did so. A bite or two later and the first one had vanished, but you didn’t proceed to grab the second.

“You know your hair reminds me of donuts…”

The blond about choked on his spit, at the seemingly random nature of the question. There was a snort of laughter from a distance where Mista was sitting. Giorno paid no mind, honestly it was rather amusing. After a few stunned seconds of blinking, and soaking up this attention he chuckles.

“That’s a rather cute comparison” He responded

“The way you style it…” you squirmed in your seat “just reminds me of that, and I was wondering how you, do it”

“I could show you if you’d like” He directly offered to satisfy your curiosity.

Cautiously you accept the offer, knowing it was feeding right into his obsession. Though it was exceedingly difficult, even outright impossible to get any outside human interaction. So this event would have to suffice.

The following morning he woke you up to see his routine, you were absolutely not used to his messier than usual hair. Nor the fact it was all cascading down slightly curly from the braid he usually kept it in. You weren’t going to lie, his golden locks were attractive just sitting around his shoulder blades.

“You know, you should help me…” He mused to you while brushing his hair out in front of his bathroom mirror.

“I don’t know about that, I uh…don’t want to ruin your hair before you talk with whichever people you meet” You awkwardly deflect, however you see the slight mischievous look in his eyes.

“If I show you how, there won’t be a risk of messing up, I’ll walk you through everything” He hummed gesturing you closer

As much as you wanted to back up, something unseen to your own eyes was allowing no exit. You sigh at the grave mistake you had made yesterday. This is what you get for teasing the mad man who kept you under lock and key. How else were you supposed to keep your sanity? You didn’t want to admit either that Giorno probably knew this would’ve been an inevitability.

You jumped as a gentle touch of one of his arms drew you closer. He firmly asked you to hand him one of the items on the counter. Before shortly asking you to help with certain gestures and guiding your hands through certain bits of his hair. You were momentarily in awe at its softness once touching it.

“Do you enjoy my hair now that you get to feel it?” he mused casually You weren’t sure if you should respond to that.

“I do think we should do this more often however, I think I like the way you put my gel in my hair and of course your braiding is gorgeous y/n” He continued on.

You could tell he was slightly teasing and you were internally freaking out how much your hands would touch. As if he hadn’t been laying in bed a time or two with you.

“dammit…” you mumbled under your breath,

This is where everything falls apart.

[vampziry]

some things i’ve manifested using the law of assumption —note that i’ve been using it to manifest for years, i was around 8 or 9, so it’s a lot—

1- when i was 8, i remember leaving the church and going home. i really wanted to go to the mall that day because it was almost xmas eve and there’s a lot of activities in my country, i also wanted to see the big xmas tree by the electric stairs. i remember that i affirmed everyday only one affirmation, i didn’t pay attention but lately i realized that ive always been living in the end and didnt realize because my affirmation stated the desire already fulfilled. i affirmed the whole day, i even went to the backyard and looked at the sky as if i was talking with god or something similar. i started affirming around 11 am and by 5 pm my mom was getting ready and i asked her “where are you going?” and she literally told me: i received your school grades, they are all good for me so im taking you to the mall. i lived happily the whole week because i thought that was my first encounter with god or something 😂😂

2- this was in my freshman or sophomore year, i really cant remember the time really well in this one but i do remember that my friend and i had fought and i was really scared because he ignored me everyday and we used to be really close so i reminded my subconscious everyday for like 3 days straight that they were not mad, they were just dealing with stuff or busy (yeah the gaslighting 😘😘) and nah, by day 4 he talked to me again and everything was back to normal like nothing happened.

3- food. yes, the thing i manifest the most is food because i adore eating. i used to live with the assumption: my mom is bringing me chocolate/cheesecake or pizza from work today. EVERY WEEK. and it would happen, i got used to it and stopped assuming random things that had to do with food.

i cant remember any other one, dementia patient right here 🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️

as for my recent ones, ive got a bunch. im a very anxious person and tbh manifesting before was way easier than now. the pressure is killing me but i still managed to manifest stuff from 2021 to this day.

1- a boyfriend. yes, i manifested a boyfriend around april 2021. i didnt go into detail but he had everything i was looking for + he was amazing (at first ofc), he later changed and i had to start attending to therapy sessions cause i got diagnosed and im still traumatized. i forgot to script the loyalty part… so yeah he definitely did cheat and gaslit me. but he made me feel amazing while it lasted. we broke up around 2 months ago and we had 2 years together. i didnt manifest the break up, he did. which is good. the universe sent me signs cause days later after the break up i found out messages and stuff of him cheating the same week of the break up.

2- i manifested for my attachment to go away. note: im the type of person to get attached emotionally to people, i was emotionally depending on my ex, so as soon as we broke up i had a dream where somebody told me to just go out the day after and spoil myself. buy whatever i want and spend some money cause i was working so hard to buy the flight to go and see him. 4 days later when i found out he was with another person i cried in my way to work and i was feeling so well that day that i literally did my hair and makeup but it got smudged :(( but that was the last and first time i cried over him after everything was over. next day i woke up feeling positive and i suddenly let everything go. bad people eventually get what they deserve in life so i just got over it and im not attached to him or the old story anymore!!

3- i manifested new friends plus i contacted my old friends back. most of them were in bad terms with me cause i blocked them out of nowhere because of my ex, everything was so messed up but they forgave me and they are very good friends after all, they text me and hype me up every day so i cannot be more grateful :D

4- i manifested my sp :D after these 2 months i thought to myself: if that person could move on, you can too. so i did, although my sp and me are not fully prepared for a relationship rn, we’re both aware of our mutual attraction and promised to give us time until we were both fully healed 🫶🏻

5- MONEYYYYYY. yeah it sounds like im too ambitious when it comes to money but im soooo silly. i spend everything i get plus i need to pay for my own stuff at school. i dont like bothering my parents with my expenses —even though they are supposed to provide for me but i feel like a problem when i do that so—, i manifested money like 4 times this year??? first, my parents never give me more than 100 for my birthday and all of a sudden they gave me 500$??? i even posted about it my happiness was out of the roof. i went to the cinema w my friends to watch an anime movie that got released on my birthday yayayaya. later, i started working and got like 1,200 in the summertime and now i manifested more money this week TO SAVE. i literally by assuming got into the void and manifested a bag full of money. i wont stfu about it IM AMBITIOUS in a good way with money, i need to move out and start building my future (bro im still 17 😔)

6- clothes and makeup. uMmm im not a fan of makeup tbh buttttt i wanted to have some in case one day i decide to put some on, my skin has always been clear and pretty, my lashes are super long and my eyebrows are really thick so i only worry about doing a perfect lip combo. i got a box and 2 bags full of makeup <3 especially makeup of my favorite brands 😙😙😙 i also was able to buy clothes online very similar to the ones that i had on my pinterest boards ^^ but i kinda forgot to buy shoes.. BFFR 😭😭😭 ive been repeating the same 5 shoes, but im gonna buy some new ones soon!!

7- colognes and jewelry 😘😘😘😘😘 yes, im a fan of these too!! my dad gave me a box full of earrings and rings. but not any kind of earrings, LONG AND BIG EARRINGS W UNUSUAL DESIGNS just how i like them. and some cute rings w rabbit, figures, etc. the colognes smell really well!! i got the nicki minaj perfume in all versions, dior colognes and a box with like 8 different types of victoria’s sprays 🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️

8- a good school year. its only been a month but ive made friends and i find a lot of people WHO SUDDENLY KNOW ME, waving at me in the hallways and im like OH YEAH HI even tho idk who they are?? it feels so goodddddd i feel like an it girl omg 😭😭😭 and also my grades are MAGNIFIC, i got accepted in our honors program and im currently a staff cadet in our military program I DID NOT EVEN KNOW IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO ACQUIRE A HIGH RANK HERE BUT I DID ITTTT I DID ITTTT IM LEADING :D

yeah i cant remember more but thats all i’ve accomplished so far, see u dont need the void to fucking manifest 🥱🥱🥱🥱 gurllll-

[mastermindmiko]

Potions Partner (Part Seven)

Pairing: Draco Malfoy + fem!reader

word count: 1637

Summary: The date

Warnings: kissing, fluff lmk if there's anything else

requests are open

Part 8 (Guess who forgot to add this link even after they literally added nearly 10 more parts)

Hey! if you think this didn't completely suck, feel free to check out my masterlist

Her alarm clock woke her and her roommates at seven, as soon as it ran, they all shouted at her till she turned it off. She wasn’t sure whether she was nervous or excited. She’d never been on a date before and she didn’t know how to act, or even what to wear. 

She was very, very late when she decided to wake Hermione up, after her closet invasion didn’t do her any help. She shook her friend awake, and as soon as Hermione’s eyes opened, Y/N whispered, “I know you hate me for liking him, but it’s your duty as my friend to help me figure out what to wear on my first date.” 

“So, that’s where you’re going this early,” Hermione replied as she sat up in bed. Both the girls sneaked to the closet, making sure not to wake anyone up to find her an outfit. After a few minutes of browsing, they had settled on a casual yet elegant outfit that was paired with boots and a coat. 

She thanked her friend, and rushed to the carriages, and all of them were there, but one. Telling her that in fact, no one was there from Hogwarts except for Draco. The ride to Hogsmeade was peaceful without the chatter of other students. When she arrived, she started to make her way to Madam Puddifoot’s to start their date. 

She admired the scenery of the fallen red and orange leaves. As she neared their meeting point, she got more and more anxious. Did her hair look alright? Her thoughts were silenced when she saw Draco waiting for her outside of the pink and white tea shop.

He was wearing his signature black suit that made him look (if possible) even more handsome. She wondered if she was underdressed, or if he was overdressed. He saw her nearing and he walked to her. When she was within hand’s reach, he took her hand and pressed a kiss there, then he said, “You look beautiful.” 

“You look…like you’re going to a funeral.” She says while blushing from his comment. He laughs at her statement and pulls her closer by her hand. “Is that good or bad?” He questions and there’s an amused glint in his eyes. 

“You make it good.” She replied with that smile of hers that made his heart beat outside his chest. He couldn’t resist pulling her in for a kiss. He wraps an arm around her waist and presses their lips together. After a few spectacular seconds, she pulls away and looks around. 

He catches on to her worries and he tries to reassure her, “The only people that are here are old and don’t know us.” She checks every person present, trying to think of how she knew them, even though she’s never seen them before. 

He holds both her hands in his own and he says, “If you’re not comfortable with this, then we can leave.” She shakes her head at his words and says with an anxious smile that still has a hint of humour in it, “If anyone finds us, we’re both dead.” 

She lets out a nervous chuckle at her words, but Draco doesn’t smile. She didn’t know the extent of it. “No one here knows us, but if you want to leave, then say the word, and we’ll leave.” he repeats and she smiles at his kindness. 

She shakes her head, and he holds out his arm for her to take. “Then, shall we?” She takes his arm and they start walking, she exclaims, “Let’s go to Honeydukes first!” 

She grabs his hand and drags him to the candy shop. They entered the store and it was the first time she’s ever seen the place completely empty. She dropped Draco’s hand and ran towards the sugar quills. He ran behind her laughing at how eager she was. 

She grabbed two blue quills, a red one and a yellow one. She already placed the blue one in her mouth when she turned to him and asked, “Do you want anything?” 

“Something sweet…” he trailed off as he started thinking. He looked around, looking for something, and she decided to help him by listing, “There’s lollies, gumdrops, lemon drops- they’re actually really sweet-” He cuts her off by grabbing her chin and kissing her. 

“Perfect.” He whispers against her lips once they parted. He was still incredibly close and she could feel his breath on her face. She blushed at his words and watched as he licked his lips. He hummed and grabbed a blue sugar quill, “This one’s nice.” 

After paying, they left Honeydukes and Draco linked their hands together, “You said you wanted to go to the three broomsticks?” he asked, making sure his memory wasn’t playing any tricks on him. She nodded her head and they walked to the other side of the small village. 

“Hogsmeade’s peaceful in the morning.” She told him and he hummed in agreement, “It’s because there are no students trying to shove you around.” She gave him a light slap on his shoulder and she looked at their intertwined hands, more specifically at the ring on her finger, and she remembered. 

“Oh! Oh! I forgot to show you something!” she said, excitedly, and she stopped walking. She turned to face him and opened up her coat and looked at him with anticipation. He looked confused as he said, “Great outfit?” 

She rolled her eyes and pointed to her belt, still excited. “It’s a belt.” Draco said, plainly. She grumbled, “Not just any belt, a green belt.” 

“Oh, oh, Did you wear that for me?” He asked, teasingly and she rolled her eyes, buttoning up her coat once more as a breeze came by, and she said, “Who else would I wear it for? Zabini?” 

“You look gorgeous in green, my love.” He said, pulling her flush against him by her waist. She blushed at the new nickname, and said shyly, “It’s only a belt.” 

“It still makes you look stunning. Now, let’s keep going.” he says and they continue walking towards the pub. He connects their hands once more, and they enter the place. Draco never really liked coming here, but he came for her. They entered and the sudden change in temperature made her take off her coat. 

They sat at a table in the back, next to each other. Draco turned to look at her, “Best date you’ve been on so far?” She smiles and says, “Yes, but I feel like I should tell you that you don’t have much competition.” 

“What do you mean?” he asks, as completely shifts his body to look at her. He holds her hand again, setting it on his thigh. “This is the first date I’ve ever been on.” She says, casually, but he can see the faint red tint of her cheeks. 

“Does this mean that I’m your first ever boyfriend too?” He teases, and he expected her to glare at him, or give him some rude comment, but instead she just looked away with a blush. He was her first boyfriend. He smiles at the thought of him being her first boyfriend, and he grabs her chin. He turns her head, so she can look at him, and he kisses her. 

He never really understood what was the big deal about being in a relationship. He would frown at the way Blaise would suddenly look very delighted when he saw Pansy when they both started dating, the end of last year. Blaise became…joyful, it was infuriating to say the least, but ever since Draco kissed her nearly three weeks ago, he finds himself a bigger idiot than Blaise was last year. 

Theodore told him it’s because he’s liked her for so long, but two years isn’t a long time, is it? Draco couldn’t imagine what his father would do if he found out about this, but he couldn’t be mad, sad, or any other unpleasant emotion when he was kissing her. 

She opened her mouth, and he slipped his tongue inside her mouth. He felt her gasp at the way his tongue started to roam around her mouth. She started to slowly reciprocate his actions, and he cupped her face. They pulled away for air, and he used that opportunity to start biting and sucking on her bottom lip. 

“Would you like anything?” madame Rosmerta asked, after clearing her throat. She was looking at Draco with a stern expression. Y/N moved far away from Draco in a second, her face red. She looked at Madame Rosmerta and said, “Hi, Rosie. How’ve you been?” 

“I’ve been good, darling. This is…new.” She said, while looking at Draco with a disapproving expression. She didn’t even know who Draco was, Y/N was sure that she would be even more disapproving if she knew the whole story. Y/N let out a nervous chuckle and said, “He’s my boyfriend, and I’d like a butterbeer.” 

“Same thing here.” Draco said, feeling uncomfortable under the woman’s gaze. She narrowed her eyes at him and left the table. Draco exhaled as soon as she left, and Y/N couldn’t help but smile at this comical moment. 

“You called me your boyfriend.” Draco said after a second. She turned to him with a confused look then she remembered what she told Madame Rosmerta. She became anxious as she said, “Yeah, well you are…do you want me to not call you that?” 

“No, definitely not.” Draco says and she notices that he’s got that huge smile on his face again. She’s never seen him smile much in their last five years at Hogwarts, but in the last few weeks, she’s rarely ever seen him not smiling. He adds, “If I had it my way, you’d be calling me that to every possible person.”

@urbansaint @angelofasgard16 @offlines-idfk @love-me-satoru

Taglist:

[soupzardous]

i would love a detalied lore drop on are they smarter than a first grader :3 i genuinely adore all these characters youve written i would gladly take any brain vomit like just screenshots of you and ur friend brainrotting i would eat it alllll up!! just anything honestly

I’m not even gonna lie I did not deliver at all. But what I will give you is that I know for sure that Quackity had like been super anxious for the sleep over. As usual Wilbur was late. Literally not shocking. But basically I hadnot planned much for that chapter I had lots of ideas tho. I did want to have them maybe build a pillow fort in Slimes room cuz I thought that would be silly and also cuz Quackity would’ve lost his marbles. I also think I intended on writing a moment that chapter where Quackity wants to read Fundy and Slime a bed time story since it was routine but Fundy doesn’t know how to react and Slime shoos Quackity away because Fundy can just read to him. Quackity would’ve gone back to the living room grumbling and prob would’ve poured himself a glass of wine cuz he can’t handle not being in charge of things.

Since him and Wilbur were fighting before hand (from what I remember) I wanted it to be sort of tense and awkward. I know in the previous chapter, Slime had green marker on his face and that was how i planned on getting them to start talking. Wilbur would’ve also been drinking wine and all that jazz. However, the plan was for Wilbur to suggest to Quackity that he get Slime some tattoo markers so Slime can draw on himself without it becoming a problem, and that was gonna lead into them being fucking weird or whatever. I really hardcore believed that atstafg!Quackity had a trampstamp (there is concept art and everything). Anyways, back then i did actually write out all the dialogue as kind of a bare bones draft, so I’ll just insert that screen shot here:

Then they probably were freaks and kissed. And this time no one interrupted them for realzies.

The next morning was gonna go one of two ways.

1. Quackity was gonna wake up and realize it was almost 8:30 am (he usually woke up around 5) an get worried that the kids hadn’t eaten. In this scenario he didn’t even remember the whole thing with Wilbur because he is more worried abt the kids. He would’ve winded up walking into the living area and seeing that Wilbur was in his bath robe due to being the one who’d woken Wilbur up, and Wilbur had to find something to put on because he wanted to let Quackity keep sleeping (he knew Quackity was sleep deprived)

2. They would’ve woken up at the same time and kind of opted to ignore what had happened. Wilbur wouldn’t have been able to find his glasses and he probably would’ve said something along the lines of “Well it isn’t my fault you probably recklessly put them somewhere. If they’re broken you’re paying for it.” And they would’ve bickered before Wilbur rolled his eyes and said he didn’t need them that bad and they would’ve headed into the kitchen.

Either way, they would’ve wound up finding Slime and Fundy at the kitchen table with some books that him and Fundy were reading together. Once again, I had this vaguely written in old dms i sent so I’ll just insert those here

I did initially want Quackity to do that thing he does where he was more focused on being a parent than how he was feeling, so he was gonna be too busy with trying to schedule Slime an optometrist appointment to worry about whatever happened with Wilbur. However, Wilbur is not trying to leave in a rush cause he would rather be uncomfortable around Quackity while Fundy had fun than back at his apartment with Phil there. Eventually, when Quackity gets off the phone Wilbur finally asks why Quackity isn’t bringing up what happened, and Quackity woudlve been all like “because I have a life to live I can’t just pause everytime there is a minor accident. You just have to keep doing what you have to do, so sorry if I don’t wanna get into all that” and Wilbur would’ve been offended but not willing to walk away. He does wind up giving up the fight and saying he was gonna stay a little bit longer but just because Fundy was having a fun time. he probably says something about how he’s only staying because he’s not as bad of a parent as Quackity thinks. because truly, they never get past that.

By the way Quackity does blame himself heavily for not even thinking that Slime might have really bad eye sight and just trying to force slime to read when he couldn’t see very well to be begin with. I know a lot of people did theorize that he had dyslexia or was truly just never taught to read, but it was more so due to a lack of proper caregivers in his infant and toddler years and shockingly bad eyesight for being a six year old.

Quackity tries to get Wilbur to go home by telling Slime his friend was gonna have to go home so that he could take Slime to the eye doctor, but Slime tells Quackity “you can’t take me to an eye doctor. Your eyes are healthy. Can Fundy’s dad go instead his eyes aren’t healthy so he would be better” (thats really ooc forgive me please). Anyways, Quackity is a sucker for anything Slime wants especially since his feels really guilty in the moment. So he does say yes.

I have a much more detailed version of the whole glasses debacle, if you want that, but tbh I do not expect this post to be something anyone is actively waiting for anymore. Once again my bad for waiting so long. There were a lot of little things I hc abt Wilbur and his childhood that related to glasses that would’ve served as a bonding type of moment nd i believe i have all of that written down somewhere in my discord dms.

Anyways. I am kind of struggling to remember it all, but I did plan on Quackity and Wilbur trying to keep things professional for a chapter after that, as they were nearing the class Christmas party i believe. Maybe I don’t remember my own fics current time line but it’s fine it’s so chill. But basically when they do set up and help run the class Christmas party since they are co room moms. One of the activities is making a little handmade ornament. It’s meant to be like a gift the kids make to bring home to their parents. However, during the party Slime winds up giving his to Wilbur instead of Quackity. Quackity is not happy about this to say the least, especially since him and wilbur aren’t on the best of terms. Quackity expected Wilbur to shove it in Quackitys face and brag about winning, but instead he just awkwardly tried to give it to Quackity because he felt really bad about the fact that it happened. Quackity refuses to accept it and just kind of keeps to himself the whole time.

When the class party ends, Nikki thanks the two for how much they did and for collaborating. She mentions that Slime had been talking about how Wilbur and Quackity had a sleepover with him and Fundy all week in their morning circle, and to top it off, there had even been a day or two where Fundy talked during the morning circle too. As Quackity and Wilbur leave the school, Wilbur attempts to check in on Quackity. usually Quackity was more vocal of what was bothering him.

When he asks what’s wrong Quackity just kinda quietly says something about how it isn’t fair that Slime likes Wilbur more than him.

Wilbur goes “thats not true. he hardly knows me”

And Quackity just says that he wouldn’t get it. And it is heavily related to the fact that Quackity has tried super hard to avoid letting anyone into his life because he didn’t wanna bring someone into Slimes life that would stick around for a while but inevitably leave. After a bit of back and forth Wilbur probably mentions something like “I dont get it. You act like I’m going anywhere. You act like you aren’t incredibly aware that I can’t leave if I want to. If either of us are the type to run away, it’s you, Quackity. You always say it’s what’s best for Slime, but I don’t know if theres a single selfless reason why you act the way you do. I know I’m selfish, but I never asked to be in this situation. And I’m not saying you did. But for someone who always looks so miserable, you sure have no problem pushing me away. I may not have been the best friend you could have, but it’s not like you have any others. Our kids are friends, and I wont let this be the reason they can’t hang out anymore. But you have a lot of nerve pretending we don’t know too much about each other. I thought we would’ve worked out just fine together. I liked you, Quackity. And maybe I’m just an idiot, but feel like you might have liked me too”

Quackity tells him he doesn’t get it, and Wilbur decides to count his losses and drive home.

The next chapter I planned on having Wilbur being up late at night. School has gone on break and it is Christmas Eve now. For the first time in years Wilbur had actually put out a small decorative tree. He wasn’t sure why, neither him nor fundy were very enthusiastic about holidays. Fundy was in bed and Phil was sleeping too. He winds up getting out some craft supplies that he had left over from a while back, and makes his own version of a shitty ornament. In all honesty it isn’t that much better than the one Slime had made. He puts it in a bag along with a cheap botttle of wine he bought the day before. A part of him wanted to write “to replace the last of the things I took from you” on the card, but he settled on writing “merry Christmas, hope you like it” despite how much he wanted to say. The next morning after Fundy opens his gifts, he asks if Fundy wants to go have a play date with Slime, and Fundy says yes because he wants to tell Slime about the cool books he got.

The goal was for Wilbur to give Quackity the gift and for Quackity to attempt to act indifferent/frustrated but eventually crumble cuz he was really upset with himself. I did at the time plan on just figuring out this part when i got there, however it was gonna be kinda mushy with like them finally talking about it. I prob would’ve done some fuckass mistletoe cliche or something. I also thought it would’ve been funny to have Slime and Fundy see it and try and turn their Christmas Chinese takeout dinner into a surprise date to set their parents up. I don’t really know.

It is a little funny cuz i actually really dont like Christmas but it was going to become a Christmas fic due to pacing.

The epilogue would’ve been a fast forward to Wilbur and Quackity roughly 8 months later being fluffy and silly while coparenting and getting both Slime and Fundy ready for school. I wasn’t sure whether they’d be living together or not at that point, but either way it wasn’t like they wouldn’t have sleep overs pretty often. I thought it would be kinda silly if like Wilbur was helping get the kids ready so Quackity could get an extra hour of sleep since Wilbur usually was working until after Quackity had already picked up the kids from school. There would be some days where Quackity packed the kids lunches and some where they got to buy it at school. Some days Quackity would worry about what the kids were gonna wear and others Wilbur just let them pick whatever they wanted. Essentially just illustrating the balance that would be achieved after they got together with both families benefiting from the best of both worlds. Wilbur would’ve learned to be a more involved and responsible parent and Quackity would’ve learned to not micro manage every little thing that happened. And from that point on they both became co room moms until Fundy and Slime got sick of their parents wanting to be involved with every school function

I have more things i saved in case y’all want anymore!! So just let me know and i will actually get back to you in a timely manner I promise this time !!! Hope this all made sense it has been so long since I talked abt atstafg

[rogerswifesblog-updates]

Chapter 5 - it’s all about the…

Series Masterlist

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A/N: Hi! I’m sorry for not updating so long but I’m busy with work and also the 1K follower special on my main blog ( @rogerswifesblog )! I hope you’ll enjoyed this chapter<3 Please let me know how you like it<3

Summary: You get an unexpected call in the middle of the nights. Everything changes after.

Warnings: mention homophobia, harassment, injury, blood, hurt Stevie:(

This time Steve stayed for four days at your place, but after noticing how much he enjoyed waking up in your home, eating with you whenever you made something to eat for him (even when you often forgot to eat yourself, you always made sure Steve didn’t). And Steve felt…at peace. Good. In a way he hasn’t in a while. He liked how you took care of him, not with money, but with these little gestures like massaging his shoulders when he sat hunched over his sketchbook complaining about his tense muscles.

He knew he shouldn’t feel like this.

Not when everything you did was because you were supposed to do it. Steve knew he accompanied you because you paid for it.

And he was stupid for enjoying it so much.

After you drove him home, once again with huge grocery bags and all his new clothes. This time you even had to help him carry it all to his apartment. (Maybe he should’ve called Clint instead of asking you? He felt awkward opening his apartment door to you, showing you how much different your living quarters were. And he was also terrified of Bucky or Sam hearing you and deciding to…introduce themselves. He hadn’t told them everything about you, yet, especially how big the age gap was…).

Thankfully nobody was home, well, at least nobody greeted you, which made him unintentionally sigh. “That’d be all. I should go to work now”, you smiled, wrapping your arms around Steve’s midsection and leaning your head against his chest.

You may stop being so attached to the young man, especially since he didn’t feel the same. You were literally paying him to be like this. To hug you back, rub his hands along your back and brush through your hair. Spend time with you, making you feel loved.

It’s all because of the money.

Nothing more.

To him.

But you?

Oh you knew you fucked up, already.

You were falling for him.

Every Time you spend another day, another moment with him, you are falling more, more, more…

Steve was incredible, nice and ridiculously attractive.

He could never fall in love with you. To him you were just there to fill his wallet and pay for his needs. You were too old, too boring and too overworked. Steve could have any girl his age.

Day after day, the time went by and you definitely felt your heart tingle whenever the young man texted you, which he actually did quite often, sometimes just to ask you how your day was. Sometimes you two went on dates, ate lunch together or grabbed a coffee before Steve’s classes started.

It was nice. Even a bit…like a real relationship. You enjoyed it a lot, even without having sex. Of course there was some intimacy, some touches and kisses. Steve loved making you feel good, especially after buying him a laptop, another pair of shoes or the occasional groceries. Even after telling him he didn’t need to do anything for the money, he wanted to. He said he enjoyed it. He liked kissing your throat, feeling your thighs trembling around his head, your taste on his tongue. It was addicting.

But you knew, to him there were no feelings involved.

At least that’s what you thought.

So it surprised you when a phone call woke you up, in the middle of the night. Steve’s picture lit up, the time showing it was past three in the morning. “Steve? Is everything okay?”, you mumbled tiredly. There was some shuffling on the other side, a quiet sob and wet gasping. “Steve? What’s wrong? Talk to me.” Still not hearing an answer made you feel anxious. The tiredness now gone, fear creeping up in your chest.

“Can you…can you get me? I got jumped-at the club”, he hiccuped, his voice sounding weak. You didn’t even notice when you had left the bed and started putting some clothes on-not caring about looking fashionable or classy, just quickly throwing on a hoodie and sweatpants. “I’ll be right there-don’t-dont go anywhere. Stay where you are-and don’t hang up, Steve.” Within minutes you were already on the road racing to the club Steve still sometimes worked at. After today you’d definitely tell him to finally quit. You’ve always been scared of a situation like this.

You definitely drive over a red light, or maybe two. Your chest felt incredibly tight, imagining in what condition Steve was. It sounded serious. There was still some quiet painful gasping coming from the other side, while you slowly pulled over at the club Steve should be at.

But he wasn’t anywhere at the front, making you feel even more anxious. Just when you wanted to ask him where exactly he was you noticed a sitting silhouette in the alleyway.

“Oh Steve, here you are”, you mumbled, kneeling down to him, gently brushing over his hair. Steve lifted his head, his face bloody and swollen, the beautiful blues red from crying. You could see it all in this dim light. God, you didn’t want to know how he felt. “Oh baby, I get you to the hospital and then-” “no-just home. I’ll be fine. Nose isn’t broken…some bruises…split lip..”, he mumbled, while you helped him up.

When you finally sat back in your car and you could finally really look at him. His nose didn’t seem broken, but it definitely did bleed a bit, his clothes were torn and bloody, too. “Who did this to you Steve?”, you asked quietly, still feeling your heart throb uncontrollably. Out of the corner of your eyes you could see him shrug.

“Four guys…I’m assuming homophobes since they called me…names. Said people like me are trash and stuff. I didn’t know them, but I think they assumed I’m gay since the club is lgbt friendly. Everyone knows it”, he looked back at you, the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. “At least now you can believe me I got into fights a lot…” He made it sound like a joke but you knew he didn’t find it funny himself.

For the first time in his life he had actually been scared in a fight.

Because it wasn’t a fight.

Steve was beaten. He knew they wouldn’t have stopped till he stopped moving-that’s the only reason they let go of him, after he acted unconscious.

And he felt even worse about acting like that. Like a coward. But he was alone and they took him by surprise, so what was he supposed to do? He tried to fight back. He really did. But…

He sighed.

“I’m sorry for waking you and…for all this. I shouldn’t have done that. I think…I think I just panicked. You can drive me home if I’m annoying you”, he mumbled, looking out of the window. Ashamed.

You looked at him for a second, before needing to concentrate on the road again. “Steve, please don’t feel like that. You’re going home with me tonight and I’m taking care of you, okay? That’s exactly what I’m here for. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there”, your voice was gentle, while you took Steve’s hand, squeezing, but he still wasn’t looking at you.

Only a couple minutes later you drove into your garage, guiding Steve into your home and onto the couch, where he sat down. His clothes were definitely unwearable for the future-the people really made sure to show Steve how they felt.

And it made your blood boil.

You wouldn’t stop till you’d find out who did this to him.

And you’d personally take care of them.

To help Steve clean his wounds you grabbed the first aid kit and sat down next to him, close enough for your thighs to touch. Looking him over again made your hands tremble from the anger you were holding in.

“Maybe let’s get you out of these clothes first, hm? And maybe a shower would be good first”, you mumbled, licking over your thumb and wiping away some of the dirt from his face. Feeling you rub your finger over his face made him blush a dark red, while he looked at you from under his eyelashes. A tingle expanding in his whole chest, his breath hitching a bit.

It was such a little gesture but made him feel so…

So safe.

He couldn’t stop himself from launching forward and pressing his lips onto yours.

To say it surprised you was an understatement, but you kissed him back, gentler and carefuller. It was the first real kiss you two shared and you never expected how it’d made you feel.

You felt your chest tingle, while you slowly wrapped your arm around his midsection-and that’s when the jumped a bit, a quiet gasp escaping his lips. You immediately pulled away looking down at where you touched him. Right where your hand was, was also a boot print on his hoodie. “Oh I’m so sorry Steve”, you whispered, but Steve already tried to kiss you again. This time you didn’t let him.

He whined quietly. “I want to kiss you-“ “Steve. You need to go shower. You’re hurt.” Steve definitely didn’t like this idea, especially when you noticed him still looking at your lips, but he nodded anyway.

“Would you…join me?”, he asked barely audibly, his face heating up and blushing furiously, while he looked down at his dirty hands, trying to wipe them clean at his pants.

You weren’t sure what to do, but seeing him so hurt, so…broken made your heart ache. “I can join you, yes. Come with me sweetheart”, he didn’t protest when you took his hand and guided him to your bathroom, attached to your bedroom instead of the one closer to his room.

In the bathroom you stopped in front of him, taking the material of his shirt in your hands and slowly pulling it up, making him wince while lifting his arms. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?”, you asked quietly, caressing your palm over his naked, slightly bruised, chest.

Once again Steve shook his head, taking your shirt and pulling it up before carelessly dropping it onto the floor. His hands found your waist again and he pulled you closer against him, so close you were curled against his chest, his chin on your head.

“I’m sorry for waking you-” “don’t you dare feel sorry, Stevie. I’m glad you called me. Thank you”, you lifted your head, gently kissing his cheek before your hands slowly pushed down his pants. “Is this okay or did you change your mind? You still want to shower with me?” You asked once again. He nodded immediately, before you were even able to finish the question.

“Okay…do you want a bath or a shower?” He thought for a moment, before shrugging. “I think a shower…I just want to go to sleep”, Steve sighed before taking off the rest of his clothes. You did the same and you both looked at each other for a second. It’s the first time you were actually funny naked in front of each other, so you both couldn’t stop the blush.

You took Steve's hand and walked with him into the big shower, turning the hot water on. A quiet moan escaped his lips when the water bug his tense muscles, making him immediately relax a bit more. While he enjoyed the feeling you took some shower gel and started washing his chest. He looked at you in surprise, the redness on his cheeks reappearing.

He really enjoyed your touch. The gentle and careful movement of your hands. The smell of your shampoo surrounding him, making him feel dizzy. So overwhelmed.

But in a good way.

He enjoyed every second of it.

“Could you turn around?”, you asked quietly and he did just that without needing to be told twice. You started washing his back, masking his shoulders carefully, feeling how the tight muscles slowly slackened. He pressed himself slightly more into your palms, making you smile as you slowly and gently wrapped your arms around his waist, kissing his back.

You caressed his skin with kisses and gentle touches, while Steve just enjoyed feeling so close to you.

He shouldn’t feel like this.

This… needy and independent. Like he needed to be taken care of by you. Not only that. He just wanted to be close to you. Be touched by you. Kissed.

A quiet sob escaped his lips. He didn’t realize when he had started crying but he couldn’t stop as you hugged him a bit tighter, the warm water patterned over his hair, dripping from his face and skin, his tears running down his cheeks,

“Come on, Stevie, let’s go to bed, you need to rest”, you kissed his back again, delicately moving him till he was facing you. “And I’ll make you some food in the morning…I’ll take the day off, okay? We can stay at home together”, You kissed his chest, before taking his hands and slowly stepping with him out of the shower. You took one of the softest towels you had, drying him before wrapping him in one of your bigger cosy bathrobes.

When he felt the fluffy material a smile crept onto his lips. Only now did you notice how dilated his pupils were. How soft his expression was. He had stopped crying too, but there were some salty trails of the last tears, but he seemed happier now.

More content.

Smiling at him you took his hand and a cooling cream for his bruises before leading him to your bedroom. He waddled behind you like a lost puppy, holding into your hand tightly, like he was scared of getting lost. Even though he knew his way around at this point.

You sat him down on your bed, slowly pushing the bathrobe from his shoulders. His skin was bruised at many places, some little cuts were there too. His face looked a bit better than before without all the blood and dirt. “It’ll help you with the pain, ‘kay? The cream will cool the tender skin”, you smiled? Kissing his forehead while you slowly started putting the cream on his bruised skin.

Since you were still naked his face was right in your breasts and he couldn’t stop himself from slowly leaning his face against them, his nose brushing against your stiff nipple. You chuckled quietly, brushing over his hand with your clean hand. “What are you doing?” You kissed his head again, while he pressed his face further in your breasts.

“Just…dunno”, he mumbled, slowly starting to kiss your skin, his lips always brushing over your nipples over and over again, before he even gently licked them. “Wanted to….dunno. Can I?” You giggled at his words. “Sure Stevie, I don’t know what you want to do but yeah, it’s fine.”

With that he kissed your breast again, slowly wrapping his lips around your nipple and sucking gently. A gasp escaped your lips as he did that. His arms slowly wrapped around you, pulling you a bit closer as the sucking deepened.

It took him a few minutes to finally release your nipple from his lips and when he looked up at you, you could tell he felt all mushy and needy. “You’re such a cutie, sweetheart….but we should go to sleep, so maybe-Oh no, no don’t worry Baby you can sleep here. With me. You don’t have to go back into your room, I promise”, you quickly smiled when his lips quivered, not wanting him to start crying again or feel like you’d just send him away.

You’d never do that,

Especially not in a state he was currently in.

“Come on, let’s take this off and you can lay down.”

You helped him out of the bathrobe, climbing after him into bed, pulling the blanket over your bodies. As you laid down on your back, he immediately cuddled up to you, his head nudging your breasts, before he shyly sucked at your nipple again, taking the other breast in hand he started playing with it.

You chuckled, brushing over his hair and letting him do whatever he needed to do to feel safe and good.

Within a few minutes you noticed his sucking and movements getting slower as he slowly started falling asleep.

“Good night, baby”, you kissed his head again, smiling when he lifted his head to kiss you on the lips before laying back down.

“Night Mommy.”

Next

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[pollenallergie]

Billisms

A couple of Billy Knight headcanons because I woke up two hours before my alarm was set to go off <3

If you love Billy, then you’ve also gotta love puzzles… because boy does that man love puzzles. Loves ‘em, loves ‘em, loves ‘em. Back when Jimmy kept him locked away in various hideouts, Billy really didn’t have much to do with all that time, so he kinda just did whatever he could find around the abandoned homes, buildings, and townhouses Jimmy confined him in. In one particular spot, a place in East Ham, there were heaps of puzzles left behind by the previous tenants. So, naturally, Billy took to solving those puzzles and, eventually, kind of grew to love puzzle-solving. <3

He also loves to knit. He started learning to knit while in the hospital because his therapist had recommended it to him as a way to keep his hands busy (one that doesn’t involve carving designs into wood, since the psychiatric hospital didn’t really have the tools for that). In the end, it proved to be quite effective. Plus, he also likes that it allows him to shower you with gifts, since he’s not usually able to actually buy you anything with his current lack of income. Granted, he can really only knit like three or four basic items: blankets, hats, etc. Not that you mind, you’ll take as many hats as he’s willing to make you. <3

Billy’s currently trying to get really good at knitting so that he can open his own etsy shop or something like that; anything to get him some money so that he can start helping with rent and groceries. Of course, you constantly reassure him that you’re totally fine with him not having a job, that you’re just glad to have him around, but, even so, he’d still like to be able to help you out. <3

Billy’s also astoundingly good at painting, sculpting, and drawing, in addition to wood-carving and knitting. Really, he’s just very creative. In fact, his mum used to call him her “little artist” back before she passed. <3

Billy’s oddly dexterous. In fact, he’s quite literally ambidextrous; which you’re incredibly envious of him for. He’ll often abruptly switch hands when writing just to see you scowl with jealousy, all the while something akin to awe twinkles in your eye. The way Billy sees it, he doesn’t have much going for him (you disagree wholeheartedly) and, therefore, also doesn’t have many ways to impress you. So, if being able to write legibly with both hands is the only thing that he can flaunt, then he’ll do so gladly and frequently. <3

Billy is a frequent bath-haver, he just loves baths, especially when you get in the tub with him. He loves being so close to you, feeling your soft skin against his, the relaxing warmth of the bath water, the vulnerability of partaking in such a private and personal activity with each other, and the domesticity of helping each other wash up. He even loves drying off with you after a bath, the two of you swaddled in your warm, matching bathrobes that your mum got you for christmas. Billy especially loves those times where you and him have at-home spa nights. He loves it when you two give each other facials and manicures (he even likes when you occasionally paint his nails for him, even though he usually has to take it off not long afterwards because you’re a bit sloppy and heavy handed with the nail polish). Billy also loves listening to relaxing music, drinking herbal tea or water with mint leaves in it, and snuggling up on the sofa together as you wait for your timers to go off so that you can wash the goopy masks off your face. <3

Billy hates shopping; the fluorescent lights in the stores make him dizzy, the music and the sounds of people chattering disorient him, and being surrounded by so many people makes him anxious. However, he finds that shopping is much more tolerable when he’s doing it with you. He loves that you let him hold your hand and let him remain close to you, he finds that your touch helps ground him during the overwhelming experience. Billy also finds it oddly reassuring that you hate going shopping almost as much as him and for the exact same reasons he does. Of course, he finds no joy in your mutual suffering, but it’s nice to know that he isn’t the only one who suffers from sensitive shoppers’ syndrome (your name for the fatigue, dizziness, and headache that you both often get while shopping). <3

[abey-baby-apologist]

clone high final episode spoilers below! (9 n 10)

holy fuck im so happy. even though im super annoyed how they keep throwing a bunch of really good ideas for relationships and plot in the trash- im just so happy with what we got. 

OK FIRST EPISODE 9??? THE ANIMATION WAS SO FUCKING GOOD AND I HAD TO PAUSE BECAUSE WHEN WESLEY WAS FLAILING IN THE SEA, IT WAS DAMN smooth and pleasant to watch, as morbid as it sounds lol. that whole scene with the comic-esque vibe was so so pleasing. 

and that whole episode was super like, sad but funny. i literally stood up and yelled when Mr. B was getting near the edge. like i probably woke up every single one of my neighbors in like.. a 50 mile radius it was that bad im so fucking annoying about this show. 

BUT THEN SCUDS SAVED HIM AND I WAS SO HAPPY, LIKE THEYRE LITERALLY AN OLD COUPLE, AND LITERALLY THEY’RE FATHERS TO THEIR CLONE KIDS AND THEYRE ALL SUCH A BIG HAPPY FAMILY AND AUGHHHH im gonna draw family stuff with them so bad. I WISH THESE EPISODES CAME OUT BEFORE FATHERS DAY IT WOULD’VE BEEN PERFECT. 

ok, episode 10 i have to take a deep breath with. i am VERY happy. and idk if it was because the bar was so low, or if it was because i was so anxious i was vomiting everywhere because i needed content so bad, but i am overjoyed. 

THE ABETOPH CONTENT WE GOT WAS SO GOOD. WE HAVE LIKE... 3 NEW CUTE PHOTOS OF THEM HANGING OUT, AND LIKE A BUNCH OF MOMENTS OF ABE CARRYING TOPHER ON HIS BACK. was it because he was being tophers lackey? fine, sure, whatever. BUT AFTER THAT WHEN JFK BROKE TOPHERS PHONE IT WAS OVER (im upset it wasnt developed on further because people who didnt watch it in real time like us will surely be fine. so fuck you.) 

Also, ABE AND JFKS FREINDSHIP HOLUYDBIUJEWNFJKNF oh my god not to be autistic but i was stimming so fucking hard WHEN THEY HUGGED, I WAS LIKE YES FINALLY. FINALLLLLYYY!!! theyre my sweet boys and THAT WHOLE FRIEND GROUP HAS ME IN TEARS. LIKE abe and Confucius are already bros, as we see them playing in the school yard, and JFK and Confucius are already bros from the sleepover episode, but NOW JFK AND ABE ARE BROS. FUCK. YEAH. oh and tophers there too. i like how they treat topher tbh. like hes just there until he says something out of pocket and they’re just like stfu. 

but with the girls friend group.. oof. i honestly loved them so much, especially with cleo, but NOW ITS FUCKED. and its not even joans fault tbh. like when i was watching the scene where frida dropped joan i was like “damn” but then, JOAN MENTIONS HOW SHE HELPED EVERYONE BEFORE AND I WAS LIKE “DAYYYYYYUUMMMM UR RIGHT” so now im conflicted. But again like??? bruh i would choose cleo too tbh lmao.

Also, i’m glad clone college isn’t real. because jfk mentions about taking shelly to .. biology? which i think is a only 1st year class. and in the original clone high everyone is like “omg u hit puberty over summer” Which i feel is typically something thats potrayed in media AFTER middle school. but i could be wrong so, idk. just really glad they didn’t do the clone college bc i hate change. also theyre 16 lmao. OR MAYBE THEY WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT... in the future when highschools done?? IDK. IDC.

anyway. im scared for joans friend group and i fucking love joan, and i am in love with abe, toph, jfk, and Confucius’s little bromances and augh. im so happy. and THE CLIFF HANGER WASN’T TERRIBLE ALSO, IN MY OPNINON. 

im just glad joanabe wasn’t endgame. i mean, i would be pretty happy because im a sucker for childhood friends to lovers but also NOOOOOO joan deserves better. so. yeah 10/10 

if you read this far, holy crap, im proud of you, and ily 

that is my review on the finale so i’ll be making so much content now that im not on the brink of collapsing everytime i think of clone high. like trust me im gonna try and stretch out this fixation for as long as i can. though im probably gonna draw a surplus of abe and jfk art bc they were my fav in 2020

[fe-fictions]

Good day/night! :]

Might you have some spare Henry crumbs laying around? I've been on a crowman high lately and you write him so well! <3

(Here's some Henry taking care of a sick wife and baby!!!)

The family had taken a brief, albeit very fun and relaxing, trip in Plegia. Morgan being only eight months old certainly made things interesting. Having the whole family there to enjoy the beauty of Plegia outside war time was fun.

Plus, you were both Plegians, so it was nice to learn about your roots.

It was a magical time. Or at least, it would have been. You woke up the morning after you came home and found yourself unable to get out of bed.

You had a fever, your head was pounding, and you were a snotty mess of misery. Henry was amused until he heard baby Morgan bawling down the hall. You both caught, according to your husband, the Plegian swine flu.

No one was immune from it, not even sweet, innocent little blood bags like Morgan (Henry’s words, not yours).

So Henry quickly went from teasing you and being fascinated by how miserable you were to going into full-blown panic.

Like any disease, a baby catching it had a higher risk of complications. Most recover, Henry explained while frantically scribbling an urgent letter for Maribelle to tie to one of his crows, but itty bitty babies could suffer serious health problems.

Henry got to work on preparing you a bucket of cold water, a second bucket for the kerchiefs you would be blowing your nose into all day, and a third bucket in case you couldn’t keep your food down.

You didn’t.

“Gods, Henry- did you have to send that filthy animal to me? I’m literally down the block! It would take you fifteen minutes to-”

“Fifteen minutes is a waste of time! Morgan and Robin could be dead by then! And if it’s either of them, it’s no joke, nya ha!”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“It’s nervous laughter!” He chuckled again, though judging by how pale his face was, it seemed to be true. 

Maribelle simply scoffed and hurried to the bedroom, ready to treat her friend.

“Robin, darling! Oh, you look positively ghastly!” She gasped, drawing the mask over her mouth and nose. She pulled on her medical gloves, a stave at her side and a big pouch of herbs on her belt. “The Plegian swine flu is no joke...it’s very rarely found in Ylisse, but when it travels with you…”

“I-it’s a disaster.” You wheezed, not before you were overcome by coughing. “Anything y-you can do will be a welcome remedy.”

“Luckily for you, there’s nothing here that herbs and plenty of rest won’t fix. Now Morgan might be a little trickier, given his age...but we can at least get started with you.”

Maribelle was quick to send  Henry off to grind up the herbs, preparing some disgusting concoction guaranteed to get your body back to normal.

Presuming Henry could put it together.

“Now, when did you start to feel ill?”

“W-well, if I’m honest… It started around-”

Crash

“Ah, gods- I broke the cup!!”

“-The time we got home, last night. It was late-”

Smash

“The pestle’s shattered!!”

“-And I just thought I was tired, but...my head feels about the same as-”

Bang

“The herbs are everywhere!!”

“HENRY!!” Maribelle shouted out the door, “What in the gods’ names are you doing?!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make a mess!” Henry apologized, his voice shaky and unsure. “I-I just meant to help a bit, but it looks like I’m making things worse, nya ha!”

“Why don’t you come and sit,” Maribelle pinched  her brow, “Just settle down until you stop breaking things.” 

You watched as Henry wandered back into the bedroom, looking surprisingly pale and nervous. You had never quite seen him in such a way, before.

After all, it was always good times and weird vibes with your husband. Since when did he become the anxious type?

“I’ll be right back, Robin. I’ll get your medicine.”

“Give some to Morgan, first.” You asked, “I can wait.”

Maribelle nodded to you before taking off, leaving you alone with your husband who was bouncing his leg and fidgeting with his hands with a nervousness that you’d never seen before.

For a few moments, it was quiet, listening to the rhythmic, rapid tapping of his heel against the stone. Eventually, though, you would have to snap him out of it.

“Henry, a-are you all right?” You questioned as gently as you could. Henry started to nod, giving you a cracked, faux grin. Then he paused, his smile fell, and he shook his head.

“Well, if I’m honest? No. Not at all. I feel like I’m dying inside.” He admitted. “I mean, you’re sick, and so is Morgan! My two favorite living people! And there’s not a thing I can do about it- I mean, he’s just a baby, and we’ve only been back together for a year- I dunno. It scares me, y’know? Which is impressive! When’s the last time I’ve been genuinely scared, right! Nya ha ha!”

“There’s nothing to be scared of, Henry.” You tried to assure him. But he shook his head, folding his arms tightly.

“You don’t know that! All it takes is one thing to go wrong and it could be bye-bye wifey, or even bye-bye baby, and I...oh, I couldn’t handle that. Nope, not one bit.” 

It was certainly a reasonable concern. 

“Henry, sweetheart...come here.” You held your hand out to him, insisting he sit with you. You weren’t sure if it was the exhaustion or the pain that numbed your sense of worry, but you were far calmer than he was.

He took your hand, revealing trembling fingers. You squeezed it tightly, trying your best to comfort him despite your situation.

“Maribelle will take care of us. We’ll be okay, I’m sure.”

“But you can’t be sure!” He sighed shakily, “Anything can happen when it comes to Plegian flu. It can either be nothing at all, or really bad! And you never know until it happens. If something bad did happen to you or Morgan, I just...I don’t know what to do! You already told me I’m not allowed to re-animate either of you if you croak, so...I’m out of options!”

“I’m standing firm on that, just so you know.” You informed him with a soft smile, “But, Henry...there’s no value in worrying for worrying’s sake. W-we really shouldn’t be concerned with the unknown until it comes.”

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re not the one having to take care of both of you! What if I mess up?! What if I make it worse!! I already broke Maribelle’s mortar and pestle, there are herbs everywhere, a-and I just-”

“Henry,” You pressed a finger to his lips, “You’re overthinking.”

“B-but I just...I worry about you guys…”

“I know.” You beamed at him, stroking his cheek. “But please, try not to worry. We need to wait for Maribelle’s diagnosis, and we can go from there, okay? It’ll be easier if we take it a step at a time.”

“Gosh, Robin...how’re you able to stay so calm all the time?” He looked at you incredulously, “I’m about ready to pop out of my skin and just run around like a headless Risen!”

“Experience.” You laughed. 

Maribelle came in not long after, informing you both that the flu didn’t appear to be as bad as it could be. 

“Morgan should recover within the week, though we’ll need to make sure he receives two doses of medicine each day; one in the morning and one at night. Henry, you’ll have to make it for him each day- is that something you can handle? Or will I be making more visits this week?”

Henry shared a look with you, seeing your encouraging smile. He took a deep breath and nodded.

“I can handle it, I promise!”

“Good. Morgan’s going to be counting on you. Robin, you should need more rest than anything else, but I’m recommending you take one dose each evening; it will help you sleep better, and it’s strong enough that it should hold you the next day.”

“That’s fine by me.” You agreed; the less disgusting, bitter herbs you had to ingest, the better.

“Your recovery time will be a bit longer than Morgan’s, though, judging by how you’re doing… I’d say two weeks at minimum; a month-and-a-half at most. Now if you want, I can have Lissa or Libra come and help take care of you, so that Henry can focus on caring for Morgan. Or, we can simply send Morgan off with a wet nurse while you’re here.”

“N-no, I-!” Henry interrupted before you could reply, putting a hand to his chest. “I can handle it, Maribelle! After all, if I can’t take care of my family, what kind of man would I be? Just a sad bag of bones and sinew! Not good for anything but crow food.”

Maribelle glanced over at you, looking for some sort of response. You knew she was still wary of Henry, especially now that she was out a very lovely mortar and pestle. But you were confident in his abilities.

“He can take care of us.” You told her, “I trust him.”

“Well...if you insist.” She conceded, earning a whoop from your husband- and an apology for it shortly after when he realized you weren’t to be around loud noises with your headache. “I’ll be coming to check up on you twice a week until you’re all better- until then, Henry, we’re counting on you!”

“You got nothin’ to worry about, Maribelle! We just take it a day at a time, and it’ll be great, nya ha!”

“Robin, if anything changes, or you need help...please don’t hesitate to call me or the other healers immediately.”

“I will.”

“I do mean anything, dear.”

“...I will.”

“If Henry does one thing wrong-”

“Hey!”

“I got it, Maribelle.” You chuckled, waving her away. “Thanks for your concern. We’ll be sure to call for you if we need anything. But I’m positive Henry will take care of us just fine.”

“You can bet your organs on it!” He grinned, giggling happily with his wife’s support. Maribelle gave him a long, hard look, but eventually took her leave. 

Henry was quick to move Morgan’s crib into the bedroom, guaranteeing that he could keep track of both of you and ensure you were both recovering nicely at the same time.

While it was heartbreaking listening to Morgan’s discomfort and those tiny baby coughs, it helped to see him improve day after day.

You did end up recovering about a week after Morgan, all thanks to Henry. He made sure to give you only the best. Most of all you were just thankful that none of you could get the Plegian swine flu ever again.

Especially since he bought Maribelle a replacement mortar and pestle that came from a questionable source, covered in animal bones and bird skulls and...you really didn’t know what corner of Hell he summoned them from.

At least there wouldn’t be another opportunity for him to break anything else of Maribelle’s, seeing as you wouldn’t be getting sick again.

You would take extra steps to ensure that just so he wouldn’t frighten Maribelle with another horrifying “gift”.

[cgetbrmj]

hi hello I just woke up so I’m sorry if this is not coherent whatsoever!! Anyway, *throws my headcanons at you.*

Coriolanus Snow:

Literal definition of just a little guy. Does he go on to be an awful person? OK YES MAYBE but for now he’s a little guy

Probably like a baby regressor. I cannot be the only person who saw him in the hospital and was like ??? Are those children’s pyjamas ??? (It was a hospital gown and I know that now.)

Has such a strong hate towards regressing like he will actively avoid it,,,he’s probably never would’ve done it willingly if Sejanus didn’t talk him into it like a lot.

Def regresses because of trauma. He’s lived through a war and never really had a childhood!! *shakes your shoulders aggressively* HOW ARE WE SLEEPING ON THIS????

He is such a crybaby…but like in the way where he tries so hard to bottle everything up because he doesn’t want to inconvenience anyone (no I’m not projecting wtf are you talking about?? /sarc) anyway he fails every time

It’s also always a battle to get him to eat, you must act like this is the most yummy thing in the world then maybe just maybe he’ll take a bite.

Personal headcanon that he never actually gave the plinth family that photo, like he had full intentions too but dude kept it for himself and would get a little sad and small when he sees it :((

ANYWAY GOING BACK TO CANON NOT BEING REAL BECAUSE ITS SAD. Definitely like needs baby stuff like pacifiers and fluffy pyjamas and stuffed animals. Because first and foremost he’d look so cute with them and secondly Sejanus would so have the money for it like dude would probably build a nursery

Coryo is so anxious to use said baby stuff because he partially thinks he doesn’t deserve it and partially thinks that he shouldn’t be regressing in the first place which like :((

Final thoughts is that Sejanus is definitely main cg I mean hello?? And Lucy Gray and Tigris babysit him sometimes

Sejanus Plinth:

Caregiver. Fretting overprotective caregiver to an anxious crybaby Coryo. 

Definitely leans towards the sappier nicknames, “sweetheart, baby,” occasionally “kiddo.” 

Will spoil Coryo to hell and back. 

Not strict whatsoever, the biggest punishment this man would be willing to give would be a five minute time out. Realistically. He’s also morally against punishments so Coryo would probably have to do something absolutely awful to deserve that.

Definitely better with younger Littles, which is why him and Coryo fit so well together.

Realistically he won’t leave Coryo alone for even a second in headspace, one he’s just clingy like that, and two, he doesn’t want anything happening to him while he’s gone.

Brings Coryo his Ma’s homemade cookies. He knows this boy doesn’t eat as much as he should be.

:3 just felt a little silly goofy 

also love love love LOVE your hc so much thank you for feeding into my new obsession lol

Pretty sure we have opposite time zones then hahaha Thankyou for gracing me with your hcs!! Adding another break because I just kept ranting about them hahaha

obviously, Sejanus would spoil Little Coryo for sure - and I've definitely thought about Coryo being a regressor from trauma and lack of childhood because YES. ALSO THANKYOU!!! THE HOSPITAL SCENE??? So glad we have mutual feelings on that because he was giving some strong kiddo vibes there

I always get scared to hc characters as baby regressors - I personally regress in the baby/young toddler area and idk I just get worried I'm projecting too hard so that was a pleasant surprise to see you hc lol - I feel like Little Coryo would be in more of a toddler bracket most of the time but then slip younger when he's tired or emotional - or god forbid, sick.

also thankyou for totally understanding the crybaby thing - he's just an overwhelmed little kid - literally anything could be the thing to push him into a breakdown - he's trying his best!!

and YES can we PLEASE discuss Little Coryo's relationship with food because herbfi;erbfuibf - I think he's difficult no matter what, and I feel like it'd be one of the ONLY things he'd 'act out' about - I don't think Little Coryo would really understand why he feels weird about food - definitely whines about being hungry but then won't accept anything offered to him - says that he 'doesn't like' something when Sejanus knows for a FACT he does - stuff like that. Also (as someone who, no matter how badly wishes they did like it, I don't like basically any fruit ever 😭) HOWEVER, I just have a feeling based on nothing, that Little Coryo would love most fruit. Like it's one of the only consistent snack options that will work on him

DO NOT TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT PHOTO 😭😭😭

Sejanus would 100% put together a nursery for Coryo and Coryo would 100% tell him to get rid of it immediately and then secretly adore it - the self hate Coryo would have over anything regression related is real

Coryo definitely plays very intricate imaginative storylines out with his stuffed animals and can never really explain it to Sejanus who would sit and watch and try to figure out what the hell is going on for half an hour

Sejanus my love - so overprotective - so gentle with Little Coryo. He absolutely uses 'sweetheart' and 'baby' all the time. In my opinion, he'd get so proud of anything Little Coryo does and would have such a hard time keeping his regression a secret because he'd just want to brag about his kiddo all the time. Drawings? Reading aloud? Eating? Looking cute? Sejanus is so proud of him! He wants everyone to know that Little Coryo is his! Sejanus would never do/say anything Coryo wouldn't want though - so he just makes sure to praise Little Coryo, all the time.

Completely agree - Sejanus would not be a strict caregiver at all - he does not see the point in punishing Coryo when he could explain why he shouldn't do something - especially when Coryo is going to feel guilty enough already for acting out

Also was thinking earlier about Little Coryo having a NEED to soak up all of Sejanus's attention and was thinking about how through his childhood Tigris had definitely looked out for him, but really they were leaning on each other - and also totally fending for themselves - Tigris was a wonderful cousin but she's barely that much older than Coryo - and then started thinking about how Coryo's mother died in labour, when he was already quite young, which would basically mean that most memories of his mother he has, she'd be pregnant. So pregnant mother and a father who's left to help fight the war when he's VERY young, then two dead parents, a grandmother who's pinning her faith on HIM, and a cousin who's doing her best to look after him, while he grows up scavenging and pretending he's not only fine, but actually living a perfect rich life??? The childhood trauma here is really unmatched - of course he's clingy and a bit of a cry baby when regressed, of COURSE he wants to steal every bit of Sejanus's attention!! When has he ever been the SOLE POINT of someone's attention? ughhh I can't stop thinking about all the fic opportunities.

anyway THANKYOU VERY MUCH for the hcs and I hope to scream about more of them soon with you lol <3

[violet27writes]

Whumptober Day 10: Scaring

(Continuation of day 6: Mind control and Forced to hurt someone else, here)

Also on AO3 Here.

---

From the moment he woke up, Warriors felt that something was wrong. Terribly so. Not including the headache.

The first indication of that was the fact that he was laying on his bedroll in his chainmail.

The second was the fact that all eyes were on him when he sat up.

Even Sky, who was notorious for sleeping in and being nearly impossible to wake, was sitting next to the fire, intently watching.

“Good morning.”

Warriors turned to the familiar voice next to him. Time sat beside the bedroll with his sword, oiling the blade.

“...Morning.” His own voice sounded dry and almost unused in return. Which was also strange, as he generally didn’t have a ‘morning voice’ unless he had overused it the day before. What had he done… yesterday? His mind only drew a blank.

Time didn’t seem to take notice. “How are you feeling?”

The Captain frowned, why did he ask that? Was there a reason why he was feeling so off? He looked back up at the others, most of whom had gone back to whatever activity they had been engaged in. Twilight caught his eye with an unfamiliar expression, before turning away. “Uh, feeling a little off. I guess. My head kinda hurts.”

“To be expected,” He set his sword back in its sheath, “You were out of it for a time. Do you remember anything from that?”

With a shake of his head, Warriors drew his knees up to his chest. “Was I sick? What happened?”

“Something like that, yes.” Time stood. “I’m just glad you’re improving. The others are pretty high strung at the moment, but they’ll be happy to see you too. Don’t think too hard about it.”

He watched as Time walked away.

‘Cryptic Old Man.’

---

Now, weeks later, Warriors had been able to fall back into a familiar rhythm. The others, however, did not.

They were distant, careful, always keeping an eye on him like he was bound to drop dead any minute now. They were anxious, alert at the sound of a twig snapping. There was no denying that. The only question was why?

His questions were left unanswered when he brought it up, and he tried to not push too hard, but if it was him they were worried about- Shouldn’t he get to know why? Was he so ill before that his existence had been so thin? Had his life been hanging on a thread? Were the others literally waiting in fear of something overtaking him again? Things just weren’t adding up.

So, during Time’s night watch on the first shift, he asked.

Time stared into the fire, a bitter laugh sounding before he finally answered. “I was wondering how long it was going to take you.”

Warriors frowned, but gestured for the older to continue.

“It had been a simple battle, ‘too easy,’ as you had put it. You were double checking the battle field when something just… overtook you. Not physically, but mentally.” He glanced at the Captain. “It wasn’t you, but something took control and attacked. Us.”

What? “I…attacked you guys? Was anyone hurt?”

“Thankfully, no, not seriously, at least. But hey,” Time grabbed Warriors by his shoulders and made him look him in the eyes. Plural. The scared one was looking into him too. “This was not your fault.”

Warriors pushed his hands off and stood. “Yeah right. And cuccos aren’t demon birds.”

Time followed suit. “I’m serious, Captain. Would you blame me if I was in your shoes? What about if it was Sky, or the Sailor. They might say the same thing, but the facts ring true. It was not you who did the attacking.”

“Well you’re not in my shoes. What if I hurt one of them? What if, since they thought the battle was over, they weren’t ready to defend themselves?”

“We weren’t.”

He paused, “What?”

With a sigh, Time grabbed the hem of his tunic and lifted it up, leaving the other with a clear view of his torso. Along with the new, white scar that ran across it, from sternum to hip. After a moment, he let the tunic fall back into place. “And yet, who was the first to speak to you after you woke?”

The question hung in the air, a few heroes stirring from the conversation, but none fully woken from it.

“I would say I forgive you,” Time continued, “But there’s nothing to forgive. Do you understand?”

Warriors thoughts were racing- ‘The liar,’ ‘I hurt him,’ ‘How could he possibly forgive-‘ ‘this is why everyone is one edge.’

“Do you believe me?”

The silence quickly fell back into place.

(@ailesswhumptober)

[coro-chan6]

Somehow Supernatural

Chapter 2: It's All Starting to Feel Real

Tags: poc!oc, gn!oc, teen!oc, panic attack, heavy cursing, Dean always needs his own warning, self-deprecating thoughts, mentions of anxiety, Cas not taking a hint, Deanstiel (or whatever the fuck Dean and Cas's ship name is), general chaos

Summary: The Winchesters and Cas have a meeting about Casey. It doesn't go too well, and Casey realizes what shit their stuck in.

Words: 2,675

I kinda felt like I was gonna vomit. Not because I needed to vomit, but because my tum-tum was doing flips and turns like a fucking rollercoaster due to my crippling anxiety. Usually, I would do little exercises that helped me regulate like my mom taught me, but that just reminded me that I was in a different universe where I might not be able to see my mom - or anyone I knew in real life - ever again. These consistent, little thoughts did not help my already upside-down stomach.

I was sitting in the bunker, in the room with the table that has the big map of the world. I liked to call this room the “meeting room” when I watched the show because… they met people in the meeting room. Come on, it was like the foyer of the bunker so everyone had to pass through it to fight and argue and shiz.

Anyway, I was sitting in the meeting room surrounded by men that I never thought I’d ever meet in person. Maybe the reason for my anxious tum was because of the “omg-smexy-men-are-staring-at-me” effect. If so… give me an anxiety stomach ache every day.

Dean sat straight across from me at the map table. Even though he wasn’t in pouncing position anymore, he was still on guard; which, I mean, valid. All that shit he’s gone through definitely made him a tough cookie. 

Castiel was standing right behind Dean’s chair like a guardian angel. I mean, literally right behind. He was basically breathing down the hunter's neck. Maybe he liked the smell.

And Sam.

Oh. Sammy. Boy!

He had his ass sat directly on the table and was staring at me in wonder. Sam’s hair was hanging in his face at an angle that was just… perfect. It was also the perfect length, not short enough to make him look like he was 15 and not long enough where he looked crusty. Did I mention that he looked fucking perfect? Honestly, if I didn’t know any better I would’ve thought Sam was the angel.

No offense, Cas.

All three attractive men were gathered around the meeting table to discuss me. Me! I was kinda feeling myself and basking in the attention that I was getting from multiple hot men before I realized something a bit alarming.

Dean, Castiel, and Sam… were deciding what to do with me. I wouldn’t put it past Dean if he decided to kill me or abandon me in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. He doesn’t seem like the type to have a father instinct for just some random teen.

…or maybe whoever’s body I’m occupying is important to him.

“Y’all gonna talk or just stare?” I asked. Yes, during my whole internal monologue full of ogling men and withering away from anxiety, not a single person talked. They gave each other looks, but they didn’t utter a word. 

Someone finally decided to speak up after realizing how weird they were being.

“So…” Sam started. He had his hand thoughtfully under his chin. I thought I might mention it because it almost took me out, “You just appeared out of nowhere?”

“I mean, I guess so. I’m just as confused as you guys are,” I spin in my chair, “Honestly, I thought I was just having one of my regularly scheduled psychedelic dreams but then, I woke up with Dean in my face.”

“A dream?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah, dude, a dream. I was basically floating in this void and then I started hearing someone telling me to wake up and then… Dean’s face.” I took another twirl in my chair. 

The guys looked like they were trying to solve a puzzle. They had their thinking caps on full blast, you should have seen their faces. 

“Did you try the usual holy water, sliver, cross stuff?” Sam turned to Dean in question.

“Yeah,” Dean replied.

I get trying to make sure I’m not a bad type of baddie, but he could have used his non-dominant hand so it wouldn’t be as hard cause damn. That shit really hurt.

“They didn’t try to attack you?” Sam continued.

“No.”

“Then, I think we should be good for now. We can let them stay here since they seem discombobulated,” Bless you, Sam. You’re the greatest of all these fuckers.

“But if they try anything, they're out,” Cas nodded along with Dean’s words. The angel barely even looked like he was listening to what Dean was actually saying, “And if we figure out you were lying about who you are, I will find a way to send you to hell. Trust me.” 

Go shit on a brick, Dean. And you too Cas, agreeing with Dean like a lost puppy. 

“Okay…” I muttered. I didn’t really like the idea of dying, especially if it was in someone else’s body, but what could I have done? Said no? Been kicked to the curb? I’m not really worth anything to them so-

…wait.

“You never told me, whose body is this?” 

All of a sudden, it got a little awkward. Sam’s cheeks were pink and Dean was avoiding my eyes. Even Cas looked a little weird.

“Well-” Dean started.

“We-” 

“Sam found the kid on a hunt and couldn’t help but save them. They almost died, but Sammy got Cas to heal them,” Dean blurted. Sam’s face turned a dark red now that the truth was out to the masses.

“W-well you cared about them enough to train them!” Sam retorted. Now it was Dean’s turn for a red face. 

“You brought them stacks of books!”

“You made them your big bacon breakfast…three times! I can barely get you to cook for me!”

“You eat salad. I’m not making a fucking salad for a meal!” 

“It’s good for your body! Your body will rot away from all the red meat you eat!”

“At least I’m not eating rabbits' food!”

“You know,” Cas finally piped up, “The kid was bound to die.”

Silence. Damn, dude. That was a bit harsh, wasn’t it? From what I heard just now, the Winchester brothers really liked this kid. It kind of makes me feel bad for pushing them from their own body, but… what was Cas saying?

“They were meant to die the night of the hunt. Right on the floor of their living room where you found them. It was their fate. It was a miracle I was able to heal them and it was almost impossible for them to survive a month like they did,” Sam and Dean were getting pissed. Castiel - bless his heart - didn’t seem to notice, “They were never supposed to have formed relations with you two because you weren’t supposed to meet them while they were still alive.”

Poor Cas and his sucky communication skills. Now due to his harsh words, the angel’s collar was being winkled by Dean’s man hands. Castiel didn’t look alarmed at all. I wasn’t sure if it was because Dean was a mere human or because the majority of the Supernatural fandom was right about these two.

“Shut up,” Dean seethed. Sam was hovering behind Dean either waiting his turn to get a lick in or making sure Dean didn’t take it too far. I was now feeling really bad because this was all making a bit of sense. I finally understood why Castiel didn’t seem fazed by my sudden appearance, why he’s been saying all this shit about how this person should be dead already.

Speaking of Castiel, he was just letting Dean choke him up against the table. I knew he didn’t really need my help in the situation, but I was starting to feel a little awkward just sitting there. It’s way different seeing these men fight when they’re on screen and I’m in a whole other world looking like a mole rat on my couch. 

With courage that I didn’t know I had, I muttered, “Guys… I need to take a shit. Real bad.”

Three pairs of eyes turned to look at me in… surprise? Disgust? Both? It didn’t really matter what they thought of my statement, all that mattered was Castiel’s insensitive words were forgotten. For now.

Fingers combing through his hair, Sam sighed, “Come on then,” he said, walking off. He expected me to follow him and I did. To the best of my ability. He’s got long fucking legs, so he’s got even longer fucking strides. I had to practically run and I’m of average height!

Sam finally stopped at the door to the bathroom. I didn’t actually have to shit, but I figured I could use this opportunity of aloneness to recoup, realign, and do all things zen. 

Closing the door to the bathroom, I let out a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding. Today was one of the weirdest days of my life. I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad weird yet, but it was weird. I never thought I would travel to a different universe. I never thought I would ever meet the Winchesters. I never thought I would get to walk with my own two feet - mostly - through the bunker that I’ve adored for years. 

What the hell brought me here? I wasn’t really complaining, but I still have to wonder. Was this planned? Was this person’s body kept alive for me to go in it? Do I have to save this world somehow? Am I connected to something here? Was this fate like Castiel mentioned?

I sat on the toilet seat feeling pretty lost. I wasn’t sure why it was so bright in the fucking bathroom, but it was bothering me so I slammed my face onto my lap. It was dark and warm and what I really needed at the moment. 

I know, a really sharp change in my emotions, but that’s just how it be sometimes. Perhaps being alone right now wasn’t the best decision. Usually, being alone worked, but now it felt like there were 20-pound weights on my shoulders, and it was getting kind of hard to breathe. It was also really hot, so I started squirming on the toilet seat like that was gonna cool me off.  I don’t know what I thinking because that’s not how heat works.

Then, I thought I could sit on the floor and continue my deep ponder about how the fuck I got into this situation, but I finally realized I was having a panic attack and didn’t really want to move. I found that if I moved, I would black out or it would be 10 times worse, but who knows, maybe this body works differently.

So, I moved to the floor. The floor was nice and cool, but then I started thinking about spiders because I was on the floor in an underground bathroom and spiders here really made sense. I wanted to get back on the toilet, but my body didn’t wanna listen. So now, I was a lump of a human on the bathroom floor that was probably shivering, but I couldn’t really feel my body anymore.

I wonder why when my body’s panicking my thoughts are calmer than when my body’s not panicking. It doesn’t really make sense. Like, none of my thoughts were screaming at me or telling me to do stupid shit. They were just calmly saying stuff like ‘you should get up’ or ‘there might be spiders here’ or ‘your probably gonna die, but take your time’. 

Yeah, the calm thoughts were definitely worst.

Now I recognized the feeling of tears falling down my face and I felt pretty pathetic. I mean, what the fuck was I crying for? Nothing was wrong. They hadn’t killed me yet. I’d always wanted to travel to another world, but I guess my body couldn’t take it. Wait! This wasn’t even my fucking body!

“So goddamn pathetic,” I wheezed. My right cheek was pressed against the floor and when I talked I could feel the tears smearing all over the place and it gave me the ick, but I couldn’t stop myself from crying. 

I love to mention the fact that I have a superiority complex, but I never talk about the opposite of that. My dandy ‘you’re a fucking loser and will never do anything in your life’ complex. It always sneaks up on me at the worst times, like when I’m supposed to be enjoying myself in another universe for crying out loud, and makes me feel more worthless than - fucking - everything. It makes me wanna crawl into a hole and never come back out.

Feeling worthless and having a panic attack simultaneously isn’t the best. It means not only can you not breathe, but you also don’t feel like trying. So, I laid on the floor of the bathroom and didn’t do any of the breathing exercises that my therapist taught me. I just waited to black out.

“Hey, kid, you doing okay in there?” Sam’s voice sounded so far away. I could barely hear it. My lungs were starting to hurt from lack of air, so I curled my aching body into a pathetic little ball.

Pathetic.

“Did you hear me?” Sam sounded. I didn’t move a muscle. I wasn’t surprised when I heard his footsteps getting farther from the door. Of course, he would abandon me. Even I would abandon myself. I was so damn pathetic that I didn’t deserve to be cared for.

Bang!

“Kid! What the hell?” Sam’s voice was now closer. Was it odd that I could smell him? Was I really that desperate for someone that I was imagining things?

So fucking pathetic.

Strong arms lifted me off the floor. I was now pushed against a firm chest and not cold tiles. I don’t think I was imagining this, but I wasn’t gonna get my hopes up. I couldn’t see much because of the tears, so I just snuggled deeper into Sam’s flannel.

More footsteps approached. More voices.

“What the hell happened?”

“They were in the bathroom and I heard sobbing, but they wouldn’t answer the door.”

“Are they hurt?” 

“No, I think they’re having a panic attack.”

“A what?”

“A panic attack, Dean. I’m just gonna get them to lay down somewhere other than the floor.”

“The floor? Did they pass out?”

Sam brushed my hair back to see my face, “Maybe. They’re awake now.”

When we got to the couch, Sam put me down and crouched in front of me. He was looking into my eyes while I was trying to look at his. 

“Breathe with me,” Sam whispered gently. 

I tried to do what he said, but my lungs were burning. Every breath I tried to take would come out shaky or devolve into a sob. Sam slowly took my hands, giving me a chance to pull away, and continued breathing with me. It took a while, but soon I was breathing steadily and my crying had stopped.

“You okay?” Sam asked.

I nodded.

“You want some water?” 

I nodded again.

“Dean?” Sam turned to his brother that was standing behind him, “Mind getting them some water?”

Before Dean could move Castiel appeared with a glass of water in hand. I hadn’t even noticed he had left. The angel handed me the glass and while I gulped it down, he stayed hovered over me. He looked really worried, but I wasn’t sure why.

“Does this happen a lot?” Sam questioned. His hand was still holding one of mine. It was comforting.

“Yeah,” I croaked, “No big deal.”

“Is there something wrong with them?” The shorter brother asked.

“Nah, I’m just kinda sensitive,” I huffed, “Kind of hoped I wouldn’t have to deal with that in this body.”

“Sorry you have to,” said Sam, “I know how it feels.”

Well, well, well. One of my personal headcannons was true. 

I gave Sam a smile and finally let go of his hand. I didn’t really wanna talk about this anymore.

“So, you guys got anything to eat?”

I used my own experience with panic attacks to write the scene in this chapter, so if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

AN: loved this chapter sm. I really like the tone of this fanfiction and I'm gonna try to keep it like this so when it gets dark... well- it doesn't get too depressing.

Hope you enjoyed!

[ayliamc]

Italia

Day 6 - On the Arno

Steps walked: 18,216

Flights climbed: 12

Vehicles ridden: 1

Points of interest visited: 3

Leonardos spotted: 3, depending on whom you ask

We woke in Venezia this morning to the sound we fell asleep to last night: a canal beginning to stir with the signs of life. Both of us were so tired so getting out of bed was a bit of a chore. But we were the first to breakfast at our hotel and our benevolent host greeted us as joyfully as ever, making us a cup of tea and a double espresso (for me and Dan respectively) while we put together a full and yummy breakfast.

We bid our host adieu and — after some deliberation about whether or not to take a water taxi to the train station, barely faster but more for the novelty of it — ultimately walked to the train station. We tried again at the coffee shop that reportedly had some vegan croissants and were early enough to snag a few for the train before they ran out. It ended up being a delightful midday snack on the train as we approached Firenze, some of the lucky few on the train who didn’t have someone sitting next to them.

‘Twas after lunch and we’d had the croissants (Italian croissants all have filling in them; there’s no such thing as a plain croissant here) to keep us from getting grumpy, but lunch was a priority. On the way we happened upon a cool old church. We took a picture with it and moved on. More on this later.

Here I am, unimpressed.

We had found a vegan restaurant kinda on the way to our Airbnb. (Now we’re in real cities, I will only patronize VEGAN RESTAURANTS!) So we trudged to Nirvana, a vegan restaurant close to the Arno, the river that runs through the heart of Florence. Florence’s Thames or Seine, if you will. I finally got to order the ravioli that I’ve been craving and Dan got a big plate with some kind of plant-based meat and some of the best potatoes I’ve ever had. Simple but so good.

Sated, we walked the rest of the way to our room, which proved to be a picturesque walk along the Arno where I could imagine that what I was seeing had once been seen by Leonardo himself. Many of the buildings certainly look old enough to have been here when he was.

Firenze is similar to Venezia in that feels fake, like a toy town or something from a movie or storybook. But they’re different in that Venezia has a kind of wrongness to it. That sounds more harsh than I mean it. But I don’t exactly know how to explain it. (Side note: i do feel kind of guilty as I imagine my friend Sean reading this and my thoughts about his dream city are that it shouldn’t be real.) But Firenze feels more like I’ve been transported back in time. But so have a LOT of other people. Other people from my time. So we’re all just a bunch of 2023 people walking around the 16th century.

I marveled at a bridge we had to cross in that there were literally apartments built onto the bridge itself, only to shortly thereafter discover that our rented room was one of those apartments! We are literally suspended over the Arno, on the Ponte Vecchio. We can see the Galleria Uffizi from our bedroom window, just down the riverbank. We later tried to identify which window is ours from the Uffizi.

So yeah, great location but it has a price: namely the shower (more on that later) and the wifi (whose connection is so bad they’re forcing my blog posts to come late because there’s literally not enough bandwidth to upload them).

The Galleria totally caught me by surprise, in terms of its existence and the items inside. For some reason I became very anxious and irritating (yeah, you read that right; irritating, not “irritable”) and I feel bad for Dan. Honey if you’re reading this, I’m sorry. Thanks for putting up with me. But we got our tickets around 3:30, got a little lost and ultimately found our way, despite the museums inexplicable lack of paper maps in lieu of digital maps you can only access online, but there’s no wifi. (A docent shared in my exasperation at this. She said, and I quote, “Don’t expect things to make sense in Italy.”) Turns out this gallery holds a lot of awesome stuff. About a million and a half Roman statues, plus the mother-flippin’ Birth of Venus!

Two works from Verrocchio’s workshop that Leonardo had a hand in! (Though they straight up credited Leonardo for one of them in its entirety. They’ll really slap his name on anything now if it helps them.) And one unfinished Leonardo (that I think also had been painted in part by others)!

A Rembrandt and a Michelangelo and Caravaggio’s Medusa and a Melzi. Melzi was likely a sort of apprentice to Leonardo, and a kind of adopted son. I also learned the etymology of the word “hermaphrodite” which as soon as I learned it seemed so obvious I felt stupid.*

Here I am with the Melzi.

After the first floor (which was actually the second floor) Dan announced, “That was fun, wanna go to a cafe?” To which I replied, “That was only the first floor!” But it was indeed the second floor. You can see the confusion. In any case we spent about two hours in the museum before slowly meandering around the Uffizi square and looking at all the sculptures before walking to another vegan restaurant for dinner. Universo Vegano, this time. More good food, and we could see the Duomo down the street. (The Firenze Duomo, not the Milano Duomo.) We also took advantage of the superior wifi here (over what was offered at our apartment) so we looked up a few more points of interest and discovered that the random fancy church we passed earlier houses some tombs of note. We’ll be sure to go visit it properly tomorrow.

After dinner (with stuffed croissants in hand for breakfast) we walked by the Duomo, the one where David was originally meant to be displayed before being declared too magnificent. (We’re seeing that tomorrow.) Cool building to be sure.

A quick stop in a nearby market so we could pick up a few breakfast and snack foods** and then back for an early night over the Arno. We got to relish in the challenges of showering in an old building where the water took 5 minutes to get hot, stayed hot for about four minutes, then got cold again and stayed cold. There was a brief war as we shut out the lights when I heard a mosquito buzzing around. We tried in vain to remove her but alas. ‘Twas a comic failure. I’ve already been bitten a bunch while we’ve been here and don’t relish waking up to more welts.

Our apartment also has a window that opens down onto the Ponte and it doesn’t close — I think it’s for ventilation — so we went to bed to the sounds of a live musical performance at the bar below us and the hourly chimes of a nearby church before the city joined us in sleep.

*Hermes and Aphrodite had a child who was born both male and female. Their name? Hermaphrodite. As in Hermes + Aphrodite. You get it. So do I.

**Dan wanted to buy a bottle of wine or beer, but it was all sealed off in the market because of a soccer game… all sales of alcohol in glass or aluminum containers were forbidden in Firenze’s historical district until 7am the following day. Crazy.