#I love all my friends even if I don't talk about them a lot

[ariesangelxo]

mornings - part two

MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI

cw: more angst, still no comfort (i promise it’s coming in the next part), heartbreak, one mention of panic attacks, prescription benzo use, recreational coke use, drinking, arguing, mention of a gun and a gunshot at the end, not proofread lol

an: thank u all SO SO much for all of the love on part one !!! i am blown away and in awe. there also will be a part three for sure <3

the past twenty-six days had not been kind to you. your mornings were spent rotting away in bed until your mom would force you to get up, her expression of concern always made you feel even worse. your days weren’t much better, you forced yourself to detach from your heart and numb your emotions. it was the only way you knew how to keep going. you put on a mask during the day with your parents, giving them occasional smiles and laughs that weren’t the kind that warmed their hearts. they knew you weren’t okay, but they also knew they couldn’t force you to talk about it or you’d shut down completely. your nights consisted of taking a benzodiazepine in order to fall asleep, you couldn’t sleep without them. you tried, it only led to intense panic attacks and hysterical sobs that made your mother’s heart break in front of you.

this morning had been a bit different. you were awakened when you felt a weight in your bed, and in the haze of waking up you initially thought it was rafe. you shot up the moment you remembered everything, eyes widening and heart racing, but you looked over to see sarah in your bed. "oh my god, sarah you scared the hell out of me!" you exclaimed, holding a hand over your chest.

she let out a giggle, "i'm sorry, your mom let me in. i miss you," her tone was gentle. you had become very close with sarah during your relationship with rafe. being over at the cameron's house so often led to a beautiful friendship forming between the two of you. she was like a sister to you, something you cherished deeply as you didn't grow up with a sister.

you felt a pang of guilt in your chest at her words. you knew she missed you, she'd messaged you every single day since your break up without fail, even if you didn't always text back. you had seen her a couple times, but when she asked about what happened, you told her you weren't ready to talk about it. sarah was incredibly understanding, knowing how much you loved her brother and not wanting to push you too far.

"i miss you too, sar. i'm sorry i've been such a shit friend lately." you responded to her. you gave her a small smile, curling up next to her as she sat against your headboard.

"it's okay, i know you're not doing great with everything going on right now," she trailed off with a sad smile, "but, you're going out with me tonight!" she became animated as she spoke.

you didn't have it in your heart to deny her, not when she looked at you like you were the most important person in her world. "you know i can't say no to you. where are we going?" you asked curiously.

"there's going to be a huge party at the boneyard, and you're coming with me. no ifs, ands, or buts." she giggled out, "i need to get you out of your room, you're rotting away in here, babe."

"god, you sound just like my mother," you teased back. "i'll go though, i miss you more than you know. i even miss the pogues a bit." you both laughed, referencing her newer relationship with john b.

you couldn't prevent your curiosity from getting the better of you, "how- how has he been?"

sarah bit her lip, debating internally how much to tell you. "he's been... not great. i don't see him much when i'm home, he's usually in his room with the door shut. he's been a lot more moody too, snapping at literally everyone in the house. it probably didn't help that i told him he's an idiot and he fucked up the best thing to ever happen to him."

you couldn't suppress the laugh that slipped through your lips or the slight satisfaction you felt knowing that you weren't the only one struggling. "i love you sar. thank you." you leaned over, giving her a hug.

"i love you too. now get your ass up and shower. we're getting you a new outfit for the party."

you spent the next few hours strolling through the streets of figure eight with sarah. your arms held multiple shopping bags, filled with clothes she insisted you needed for tonight. you were incredibly grateful that she had forced you out of bed, you actually felt human for the first time since everything happened.

you found yourself in a small cafe, giggling as sarah told you a story from one of her drunken adventures with the pogues.

“you know… you should talk to jj tonight. i know he thinks you’re hot.” sarah gave you a mischievous smile as she wiggled her brows.

“funny,” you rolled your eyes playfully at her, “but it’s way too soon for me to get into anything with anybody right now.”

“i didn’t mean start dating him, i just think you would have fun together.”

“i just- i don’t know, sar. i’ve been such a wreck these past few weeks… can i tell you what happened?” you looked up from your fingers to meet her eyes, now widened with shock.

“yeah, of course you can. but don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to.”

you were grateful for her support, going into your explanation of how the last couple months of your relationship, rafe’s behavior changed drastically. sarah hung on to your every word, needing to know exactly what led to the end of your relationship.

“and so i walked into the country club to surprise him. i spent the whole morning getting ready, did my makeup how he likes, even wore a new sundress that i know he would have loved. but i walked in and…” you looked up as your vision began to blur, “he was talking with some bitch i’ve never seen before bartending. she had short brunette hair, but he fucking smirked at her the way he only does- did for me. and- and then, she basically fucking held his hand while she fucked him with her eyes, and he let it happen!”

you spit the words out like they were poison on your tongue, not noticing your voice beginning to raise with frustration. sarah’s jaw was nearly on the floor.

“what the- what the fuck?” she racked her brain, trying to remember if she’d seen anyone matching your description recently, but nothing came to her.

“god, shit. i’m so sorry, babe. i don’t know what the fuck is wrong with him.” she attempted to console you as you dabbed your eyes with a napkin.

you shrugged your shoulders, “what’s done is done. i just want to forget about everything for a while.”

she nodded, “then let’s go get ready. we can pregame at yours and ride with john b and them.”

after a few shots, a couple hours spent transforming yourself to not look like you spent the last three weeks trying to cope with your break up, and a lot of laughter, you and sarah were ready to go.

you wore a cropped loosely crocheted white sweater over your pink bikini and a white miniskirt that hugged your hips , the strings from your bottom peaking out from the top of it. you were finally feeling good about yourself again, and you’d be damned if you let anyone ruin it.

the ride to the boneyard only lifted your spirits more. it was impossible not to laugh around the pogues, especially when jj did whatever he could to hear your giggle.

you arrived just as the party was beginning to pick up. relief flooded your veins when you didn’t see rafe anywhere. you knew it was a possibility he’d be here, but it was going to be significantly easier to have a decent night without his presence lingering around.

you filled up a red solo cup at the keg, downing the cheap alcohol before refilling it.

“slow down there, or you might not make it too long.” jj approached you, giving you a flirty smile.

you gave him a laugh in response, “i’ll be fine, jay. i just want to be able to let loose tonight.”

“stick by me then, don’t want any of these pervs creeping on you.” the thinly veiled concern in his voice made you smile. you know he’s flirting, but it’s clear he wants to keep you safe knowing it’s your first night out in so long.

you spent the next hour surrounded by the pogues, and true to his word, jj looked out for you. he did so well that you failed to notice who had shown up to the party, the one and only rafe cameron.

rafe, on the other hand, saw you immediately upon arriving. it was impossible for him not to when your presence demanded his attention. he was not happy to see who you were hanging around with. his ongoing beef with the pogues was well known by everybody on the island. he didn’t come to party though, he had other business to attend to as barry gave him a side eye, “fuck are you doing, country club? you can fight for your girl later, we’ve got shit to do.”

your drink had somehow disappeared. your furrowed your brows as you looked down, giggling to yourself as you told your friends you were going to get another one. you were at the perfect level of drunk, not to the point of blacking out or vomiting, but to where you couldn’t quite walk in a straight line and everything was funny to you.

you stumbled up to the keg, starting to fill up your cup when you felt someone watching you. the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, you instantly knew who it was. it was as though there was a chip in you that alerted you to when he was nearby. you took a deep breath as you turned your head slightly, seeing rafe sat next to a man you didn’t know as he handed a small plastic bag filled with overpriced coke to a touron. rafe’s eyes didn’t leave you as he signaled him to leave.

you could hear your heartbeat in your ears, the hand holding onto your cup now trembling and the lump in your throat building. rafe stood, starting to approach you as you froze. your brain was screaming at you to run but your body refused to move an inch.

“what the fuck do you want, cameron?” your words were spat out with venom. your tone clearly surprised you both as he looked shocked momentarily. you were typically one to stand your ground, but never ever was your attitude aimed towards him.

“what do you mean ‘what the fuck do i want’? you fucking up and left out of nowhere and haven’t spoken to me in almost a month.” his voice was filled with anger, his nose flaring as he clenched his jaw.

you let out a humorless laugh, “out of nowhere? you can’t be serious, rafe. you treated me like shit the last few months of our relationship.” you didn’t yet mention seeing his interaction with the bartender at the country club, not knowing if topper and kelce had told him about seeing you when you left that fateful day.

“what? be-because i couldn’t be with you twenty-four fucking seven? like i- i wasn’t out working my ass off to afford nice shit for you?”

“‘working your ass off’ will you stop fucking lying to me? i fucking saw you at the country club,” his facial expression showed confusion, bringing his brows together to try and understand what you were talking about, “you let that bitch touch you, you looked at her how you used to look at me. i spent hours getting ready, i showed up, wanting to surprise my boyfriend for lunch, and what do i see? my boyfriend letting some bartender hang off of him while he flirts with her?”

your voice had raised as you got more and more angry. you were now shouting at him as other partygoers failed to hide their stares and murmuring. nobody ever talked to the kook prince the way you currently were, unless they wanted their face bashed in.

rafe grabbed your arm harshly, pulling you down the beach and away from others. you stumbled behind him, knowing you weren’t physically or mentally strong enough to push him away.

when you looked up at him, you suddenly noticed his blown-out pupils. you felt your heart sink. “you’re using again.” you stated flatly.

he scoffed, rolling his eyes at you. “don’t act like you fucking care.” he spat out at you.

“jesus fucking christ- rafe, when did you start again?”

“don’t worry about it. when did you come to the country club?” his tone was demanding, sparking further irritation in you.

“the day i left. i- i let a lot of shit slide for too long, because… because i wanted to be a good girlfriend and support you when i thought you were just stressed out from work. and, in return, i get to watch my boyfriend make me look like a fucking idiot.”

rafe was silent for a minute, his lips pursed as he clearly was trying to remember what he was doing before he came home to an angry ward and an empty room. then realization hit him, he knew exactly what you were talking about. he brought his palm up to his face, groaning.

when he was about to speak, he was cut off. “is cameron bothering you?” jj’s familiar voice called out. you looked past rafe’s large figure to see all of the pogues standing beside him, looking ready for a fight if it came to it.

rafe gave a humorless chuckle, “stay the fuck out of it, pogue.” he clearly wouldn’t go down without a fight either.

your heart stopped for a moment and your body filled with ice cold terror as jj pulled out a gun that was hidden behind his back in his waistband. it was clear you weren’t the only one not expecting it as the rest of them looked at jj with concern, john b telling him to put it away. “yeah? let’s fucking go, rafe. been itching for a fight for too long.”

everything became blurred. the mixture of shouting, seeing figures suddenly moving towards each other, and the unmistakeable sound of a gunshot, and then everything went black.

[sweetbans29]

Injured - PB

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader

Summary: You tear your ACL and Paige is there to care for you (based on THIS request)

Warnings: slightly angsty, fluff, Paige as caring GF, role switch when it comes to injury (mirrors timeline of Paige's actual injury)

Word Count: 2.1k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: I am still figuring out how to write for Paige but we are out here trying. Any and all feedback is always welcome!

You never imagined your life to be what it was. At no point growing up did you expect to play college ball or go to one of the best colleges for women's basketball. Basketball was always something you enjoyed and mostly played because your friends played. It wasn't until high school that key people in your life started encouraging you to take it more seriously.

The summer before going into freshman year of high school your middle school coach sat down with you and your parents and highly encouraged them to put you in basketball year-round. He saw something in you that no one else had seen up to this point.

Your parents asked you if you wanted to play year-round and you just shrugged.

You did. Your parents switched you to a high school with a better program. When you weren't dominating on the court in high school, you were dominating on another court - turning the eyes of a lot of coaches and brands.

Your first brand deal was with Gatorade. It was all thanks to your old middle school coach who had some connection within the company and told them they would regret not getting you early. You were only a sophomore when you signed with them.

Your current coach did an interview that explained who you were as a ball player when someone came out right after you closed the brand deal.

"Her mentality when it comes to the game is unmatched. She is a sophomore in high school and is ready to play in college - if you haven't seen her play, you must." Coach Rudd says. When asked about what specifically stands out about the young star compared to other up-and-coming players that colleges are scouting, his response was not what you would expect. "There is no doubt that her talent is seen when she is on the court. That is known. But what impresses me the most is how she brings her teammates into her thought process. She takes the IQ that she has for the game and is able to explain and teach that to her teammates." Coach Rudd says. "There are times I feel like she gives me a run for my money as head coach of this team." Rudd jokes. "The world needs to watch out for her - she may not enjoy standing in the spotlight but it will follow her wherever she goes. She is just getting started." Rudd finishes.

Even with the interviews and the brand deals that followed, it wasn't until colleges started reaching out and asking about your plans for college that it dawned on you to play after high school.

All of your teammates at the time thought it was comical how much you had your head in the sand when it came to how sought out you were. They would tease you endlessly about it, just shrugging them off and playing the game you love.

After becoming one of the most known high school ball players, you committed to UConn to play for Geno. The way he approached you about college ball was different than any other coach had. He understood your basketball mentality better than anyone else had up to this point.

It wasn't until you got to college that it really hit you how many people knew you. You walked into your first practice and the whole team started mumbling about you. Not much bugged you, but for some reason this did.

You feel someone come up beside you but you don't pay them much attention until they speak.

"Don't worry, they aren't saying anything bad - I heard them talking about the freshman superstar that's coming in and how she is going to change the Huskies game for the better. I thought they were talking about me, but then they said your name..." The girl says as she extends her hand to you. "I'm Paige," she says, and you shake her hand introducing yourself.

"Oh I know who you are ma, everyone here does," she says with a little laugh. You pull back a little embarrassed now.

"This is all new," you say trying to justify your body language. That was the truth - not many people talked about you in high school and you just kept your head down. But this was much different.

"Just stick with me, I got you," Paige says and you follow her over.

She was your saving grace freshman year. The more you got to know her - the more you realized you had in common with her. Her understanding of the game, her understanding of outsiders looking in, you both loving the sport and just wanting to play to the best of your ability.

It was toward the end of your freshman year that you admitted your feelings for Paige. You had spent the night at hers and woke up entangled with the blonde. You watched her sleep and decided you had waited long enough. When she woke up, you were already staring at her. As she looked into your eyes, you leaned in and kissed her without warning.

It caught her off-guard but she melted into you.

The two of you decided to keep your relationship as lowkey as possible, knowing that you don't like being in the limelight. You told the team a few weeks in and it came as no surprise to them. Most of the time, Paige took the lead which was nothing out of the ordinary.

Everything in your life had been pretty smooth. It all changed during an early-season game your sophomore year.

You were mid-transition when you pivoted and felt a snap in your knee, immediately falling to the ground. You were guarding a girl from the other team, and by the looks of anyone watching, it looked like she had faked you causing you to lose your footing and fall. It was only when you were on the ground holding your knee that everyone realized something had happened.

Initially, the play kept going. Both teams believed you were going to get up and continue to play. After the other team finished the play, the refs and your team noticed you were still on the ground.

You knew exactly what had happened the second you felt the pop but refused to believe it. After the initial pain, you tried to get up on your own while the play was still going but couldn't. Not that anyone would expect you to but yourself.

Paige was the first person to run over to you, kneeling by you and asking you what hurt. You were holding your knee, rolling around trying to find any sort of unpainful position which didn't come. Your hand kept hitting the ground in frustration.

Paige is yelling furiously at the bench for someone from the medical team to come over to you. No one was moving fast enough for Paige's liking.

She kneels by your side, grabbing the hand that keeps hitting the ground. She knew she could let anyone see how scared she was, but she was terrified. If there was anyone in the building who understood you better than yourself it was Paige.

"Someone is coming, babe. Someone is coming." Paige keeps muttering.

"Just get me up," you say - frustrated with the whole situation.

"Someone is coming." Paige repeats again.

"Get me up!" You yell indirectly at Paige. Paige doesn't want to move you without someone coming to help but Azzi reaches out her hand to help you up. Nika is behind you and hooks her arms under your arms.

"1, 2,3," Azzi counts and you let out a grunt as the two girls lift you up. You balance on one leg as Azzi puts one of your arms around her shoulders, Paige on the other side with Nika still behind you. The three girls help you to the bench - the medical team meeting you halfway.

You see Paige turn to them and yell something that you can't make out.

Paige doesn't want to leave your side but is grabbed by Geno when Azzie and Nika pass you off to go back to the locker room.

"We need you here," Geno says. "They will take care of her," he says as Paige looks down the hall where they had just taken you.

She heads back out on the floor and finishes the game.

You on the other hand were being looked at.

The game ended - it was a total upset. After you left the floor, Paige fouled out leaving the team down two of its best players. When the team made their way back to the locker room, you were lying on one of the tables with your leg elevated with ice. You have your arm covering your face as your mind races with a thousand different thoughts.

Girls from the team come and make their way to you but you don't say a word. Everyone but Paige tries to talk to you and you just give nods or little exhales.

Once the room cleared out - Paige walks up to you.

She puts a hand on your stomach and it is like she releases all the pent-up frustration you had been harboring since going down. You feel tears stream down the sides of your face as you bring your other arm up to stifle the cries that are coming whether you want them to or not.

"It's all so stupid." You say. Paige pulls up a chair and sits next to you.

You don't say anything for a few minutes.

"I'm stupid." You finally say.

"Don't say that ma, you aren't stupid," Paige says as her hands come up to remove your arms from your face.

Your arms fall and she begins to rub the one closest to you.

"This could have happened to anyone," she continues. "I know this sucks - it is the last thing you want to be dealing with right now but this isn't the end okay?"

Paige sits there knowing that if the roles were reversed, there is nothing that you could say to make her feel better about the situation. So she just sits there with you, holding your hand and rubbing your arm until you are cleared to go home.

Paige takes you home that night You don't say much but you are incredibly thankful your girl is there.

She helps you into bed and runs out to get you all the necessities. Your phone is turned off, not wanting to hear what anyone has to say about what happened.

When Paige walks back in, she hands you some meds and water.

"I let your parents know how you are doing," she says in the softest voice. You don't look at her, knowing if you do, tears will begin to fall.

She comes and lays next to you, opening her side up for you to cuddle into. She makes sure your leg is positioned well before you finally feel her settle and exhale.

After a few minutes, you speak.

"It's funny how I wasn't even thinking about college basketball until someone mentioned it to me. I never would have imagined playing past high school. I mean I have always loved the sport and knew I would always play but coming here and playing at this level has been amazing. It opened my eyes to the potential of more. The potential of a championship. The potential of multiple championships. The potential of the W. The potential of coaching someday. If there is anything that this injury has shown me it's that I'm not finished." You say.

"I am going to do what I need to do to come back better than I left the court. Not only physically but mentally. The world has no idea the drive that is burning inside me." You finish.

Paige can feel your breath pick up as you talk - only backing up what you are saying. She kisses the top of your head with a smile.

"I have no doubts that you will come back better." She says as she intertwines her fingers with hers. "But for now, I need you to rest, ma."

You nod.

"Rest is good." You say with a yawn. "But tomorrow we start."

"How about we give you a week or two, then we can talk about it," Paige says knowing you are going to be a challenging girl to care for. "We will have plenty of time to get you where you want to be, but before then we gotta get you fixed up." She is rubbing your thigh.

"We will see about that," you say and nestle into your girl.

Right as you are about to fall asleep, you let out a deep sigh.

"Thank you, P," you say. "Thank you for knowing me and loving me for me." You say knowing you can be a lot.

"I can't imagine my life with anyone else," Paige says, voice laced with sleep.

"Good," you say. "Because you are stuck with me."

AN: First Paige request in the books. Hope you all enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for your love and support 💙

[shortpplfedup]

We Are Episodes 6-8: The talking stage, and how to escape it

One of my consistent complaints about New Siwaj has been his penchant for daily minutiae and character antics and how much of it he injects into his stories, and how that feels like it disrupts the movement of his narratives. Who knew the solution was just to let him make a whole show about daily minutiae and character antics, without much of a narrative for it to disrupt. This is by far the most I have ever enjoyed a New Siwaj show. IDK if this is what Star and Sky attempted to give (I ain't watching that), but when your concept is 'dudes vibing', it does help if they have some vibes. The cast is most of the reason to be here, granted, but they ARE a good reason.

If this show has a core, I'd argue its core is Toey, and specifically how this loving bunch of of queers adopted a baby gay and did everything possible to ensure that he was happy and cared for, while falling for each other along the way. Everybody in this group shows up for Toey, always, and I love it so much.

This show has put a lot of time and attention into slowly building its core ships, spending an extended period examining that dreaded hell known as 'the talking stage'. Phum/Peem and Q/Toey know they feel attraction and a vibe, both couples have even kissed already (in Phum and Peem's case more than once). But flirting is not dating, and everybody's very clear on that even if they're clear on nothing else. I kind of like that these things are not expected to be assumed or understood, nobody's going to become a couple without having a conversation about it in this universe. I like the effort these boys put into thinking through their feelings, and being intentional. Are they overthinking it a little? Of course they are, they're what, 20? But that's GOOD, that they're thinking it all through and really trying to understand how they feel and what they want to do about it.

That extends out to the side ships of Tan/Fang and Pun/Chain who are on the extremes of this: we saw Tang grab the tiger by the tail, asking Fang out and getting a positive response; Pun and Chain on the other hand, well they're doing their best it seems to neither think nor talk about their clear feelings for each other AT ALL, leaving them in this weird 'just friends' space even as they behave like a couple.

We're halfway through this show and I'm ready to update my couple scores.

Q and Toey: 3/4 hearts

These two take a teensy dip for me because I hate to see Toey cry, but they're on the right path now.

Phum and Peem: 3/4 hearts

+1 for Peem realising his feelings and Phum making an attempt to confess, -0.5 for Phum not committing and Kluen hanging about.

Tan and Fang: 3.5/4 hearts

How is it I love them the most? They understand each other, they like each other, and they don't want to change each other.

Pun and Chain: 2.5/4 hearts

I fully expect their score to go up as we enter the second half of this thing, but there still isn't a whole lot going on. Still, them losing focus and having a whole-ass moment in front of Peem and Tan at the beginning of episode 7 was fun.

[carmenberzattosgf]

my hand is good! I have two scars now under my middle finger on my palm but all is well!

I'm also here to ask about birthday treatment from carmy? I dontnthink he does a lot for his birthday and I personally don't do a lot so I think its either a sup casual affair or he's celebrating the fuck out of it because he's like that's my s/o and I love them and this is the day they started existing and I love that.

it is simply my birthday and i want to be spending it with fiction people but alas!

-🌂

OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have a wonderful day my dear friend <3

To answer your question though, Carmy is 100% celebrating the fuck out of you. He’s going to wake you up with breakfast in bed with your favorite breakfast foods. He’ll even buy some silly little balloons to have in the kitchen and the living room. They’re not even displayed all cute they’re just, floating on the ceiling, but he made the effort!

The whole day is all about you. If you want your nails done? Okay, sold, he’s paying for them. Hair done? Yep, he’s tagging along and covering the bill. He’s going to watch all your favorite movies and shows with you cuddled up on the couch.

If you want to have a proper birthday dinner, he’s going to make a phone call and get a table for you and all of your friends ( and him of course) at the nicest restaurant in Chicago. Carmy’s also going to make sure they do a dessert with the candles in it as well.

Although, if you don’t want a proper birthday dinner, he cooks one for you at home, anyway. Carmy’s already come up with the perfect birthday dinner menu. Literally, he’s thought of an appetizer, main course, and he’s made your favorite flavor of birthday cake. Oh, and he sings you happy birthday while you blow out your candles. To be completely honest, he films you blowing out your candles just because he wants to keep the moment forever.

Now to talk about gifts, he probably asked Sugar or Syd for help a couple of days before your birthday. While Carmy is talented in so many things, gift selecting is not one of them. He’d much rather prefer to go ahead and buy you the things you’ve mentioned wanting. There’s so much going on in that head of his, he doesn’t want to forget about things you’ve said.

I like to think that after talking with Syd and Sugar, he decides to buy you a gold necklace with his initial on it. It’s not huge or flashy. The necklace is a simple gold chain with a small round pendant attached to it. He opts to have a “C” engraved on the pendant in a dainty, cursive font.

The gift is perfect. You can’t help the tears that well up in your eyes as you look over the pendant in the velvet box. Your eyes widen when you see the 18k gold certification in the box. “Carmen—this is so gorgeous—you really didn’t have to splurge like this. I would have been happy with nothing.” At this point the tears freely flow from your eyes as you look at Carmy, who’s just smiling happily.

“It’s your birthday, baby. I love you.” There’s a break in Carmy’s sentence as he cups your face, wiping your tears away with his thumb. “You’re worth every single penny and more,” he says before leaning in to give you a small kiss.

“I love you so much, Carm. Wanna help me put it on?” He’s eager to see the necklace on you, so he stands up fast to get the box from you. Carmy stands behind you and clasps the necklace at the back of your neck.

“There we go. How’s it look?” Carmen asks before walking back in front of you. Honestly, he has to catch his breath for a second. He didn’t realize how much of an effect seeing you wear his initial would have on him, but he is a man after all.

“It’s so gorgeous, Carm.” Your face beams you stand up to look at the necklace through the mirror on the wall of the living room. “What do you think?”

Carmen walks up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and setting his head on your shoulder. “I think you’re beautiful. Absolutely beautiful, my love.”

[3hks]

Choosing the Main Character

When building or choosing a protagonist, there are things that you NEED to take into consideration if you don't exactly have an idea of who should be the head of the story or if there's just too many good characters to choose from!

THE CAST

I'll get something out of the way, really quick. In my opinion, the cast and environment your characters are around should influence your choice more than the plot will. The plot is normally made in SHAPE of your protagonist. The goal of your character should be the leading arc of your story.

If you could substitute ANY character you wish to take the role of the protagonist into the plot with ZERO changes to the character and plot, then your storyline may just be too generic or simple. And in that case, pretty much any characters will do.

COMPLEX V.S CLASSIC (Skippable)

When I'm talking about a simple main character, I mean that they follow a more standard trope.

They usually have qualities such as goodness, ambition, and are special (powerful, unique, etc). They're often fighting for change and have a potent, normally sad, backstory.

But don't get the wrong idea, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this type of character--I just want to make it clear that they tend to have more standard traits of a protagonist and are used frequently, which is why I'll classify them as "classic."

So with that being said, I consider a complex character to be one with separate attributes that are scarcer.

You know those fun and/or interesting side characters that literally everyone loves? I consider them to be more complex because they have a more original character fueled by an interesting past and personality, which the audience loves. They are amusing to bring to life; however, they are also more difficult to write when they're the main character because of their intricacy.

So when is it appropriate to use a "classic" main character and when is it appropriate to use a "complex" one?

WHEN TO USE WHAT?

Based on my observations, a less populated or simple cast usually has a more complex main character. On the flip side, a more populated or complex cast will tend to have a more classic main character.

My reasoning for this is because the writers want to balance their characters out. If your story has too many intricate characters, it can be too much for your readers to fully grasp and understand them all. Different and unique characters are amazing, don't get me wrong, but it requires a lot more time and effort to form a bunch of complex characters in the same story.

However, there are certain characters that should be naturally detailed. Most often, these are:

The protagonist (Even if they're leaning more towards a "classic" side, as the main character, they should be pretty intricate.)

Love Interest

Best Friend/Rival (Whoever is closest to the protagonist, really.)

Antagonist

Besides these four, if you see that your other side characters are also incredibly complex, it may be smart to choose a protagonist that is simpler.

ROOM FOR DEVELOPMENT

The thing is, even if most of your characters don't go through a lot of character development, (which makes some sense because it's hard to make everyone grow) your main character NEEDS it.

If they're too close to perfect or you can't find something about them that they can change or learn from, there's hardly going to be any development for your lead, which is something to avoid.

So basically, what I mean is that your favorite character with your favorite attributes may not always fit the protagonist category if you're reluctant to change them.

However, that doesn't mean that they can't be a solid side character!

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

Oftentimes, there are certain things that a protagonist specifically has in which some other characters may not have. With that being said, if you can say yes to these questions about your character, then they'll be a great fit!

Do they have a specific view of the world?

Do they have a specific goal in mind?

Is there a solid reason for the goal?

Do they have some sort of backstory that builds onto their persona?

Will they undergo any sort of change or lesson?

And yes! Because the protagonist and antagonist are usually foils of each other, these questions very well work for the other side too!

CONCLUSION

Alright! So my biggest take on this is that when given a more complex or populated cast, a standard protagonist will usually fit better. And on the other hand, a simpler or sparser cast will call for a more complex protagonist!

Happy writing~

3hks :)

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #31] The Photo Booth

warnings: THE photoboth chapter!!!! a legend amongst bd readers!!!! we meet jaykays mum (shes the best) and his dad (legend), byeol gets her own back for the 'daddy' debacle, teasing, shameless flirting, a lil dirty talk, jaykay is desperate and whiney (just how we like him!!), precum...swapping?? as much as it can be swapped lmao, jaykay does her glitter ::(((((, a date! between friends!! some would argue!!, photobooths, kissing !!!!, oh god I love them so much, very cute, mmmmmm the way he says goodnight!! or alternatively, the way he doesn't say goodnight!!, our babies are v confused <3 cos they are stewpid <33

wc: 9k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

"Mum? Dad?" Jeongguk calls into the entryway of his family home, pushing the door further open with his shoulder.

Your bag is hooked over his broad back, along with his own, Jeongguk not even considering it a favour. Just helps you out in little ways whenever he can, just because he can. You do what you can to make his life easier, and so it's reciprocated without a second thought.

Carrying a bunch of fresh flowers that had hastily been picked up from the shop across the street, you're a little nervous. There was no way you could show up empty-handed, but had been so scatterbrained when you left your place, it had completely slipped your mind. They're pretty pink posies and are something - which is always better than nothing, even if they aren't all that impressive.

"Oh, you're here!" A sweet voice calls from the back of the house. The sound of indoor slippers scuff against the wooden floors, as his mother scurries to greet you both. "I thought you'd call when you were on your way!"

"Sorry," he apologises and leans down to let the bags softly tumble to the floor, before outstretching his arm for a hug. "Left in a bit of a rush."

Squeezing his mother gently, his back eclipses her from your view. Hands patting his back, you think you can tell a lot about a person from their hands - and she's no exception.

Well-manicured, his mum clearly looks after herself. She wears just two rings - her wedding band and engagement ring. Gold. The only remaining elements of her wedding jewellery that had survived the '98 gold drive.

"Spent my whole life in that house," Jeongguk had said of his family home on the journey to Busan. He'd been opening up. Telling you tales that you'd have never heard if you had declined his offer. Is clueing you in on the life that formed him. Wants you to know. "They held onto it throughout everything. The financial crisis, turn of the century, everything. I'm lucky. We were never well-off, but they never let me know when we were struggling."

It explains a lot about who Jeongguk is, you think. Never wants others to shoulder his burdens. Keeps things bottled up until the glass shatters - but you can see through glass. You always know.

A modest three-bed, there's something nostalgic about the four walls he calls home. Though you've never been here, it somehow feels familiar - but that's perhaps more so to do with the scent of laundry drying, and the fact that Jeongguk uses the same fabric conditioner as his mother always has done.

Swanning Jeongguk out of the way, his mother greets you with a smile that could stoke warmth in even the coldest of hearts - and suddenly, you understand exactly where Jeongguk gets it from.

Dark, round eyes, and a smile as radiant as a spring day, she's got the kind of delicate nature bestowed upon Disney princesses. If you were to learn she'd been a model in her youth, you wouldn't be surprised. 

Introducing yourself,  you hold out the flowers for her to take.

"For you," you offer, a little shy and reserved, in a way that Jeongguk doesn't see too often. Your glitter - toned down today, for some reason - sparkles in the late afternoon sun that pours through the windows. "Thank you so much for offering to host me. I really hope it hasn't put you out too much-"

"Oh, don't be silly," she tuts, flipping her hand away as if to emphasise that it really is no big deal. "It's always lovely to have Jeongguk's friends staying with us."

She glances over to Jeongguk. Leans in a little closer. Whispers just loud enough for him to hear. "Plus I'm sure you'll be a far better house guest than Jimin ever is!"

"Mum!" Jeongguk goes to defend his housemate - but he knows his mother adores Jimin. Treats him like a third son. Knows she's creating an alliance with you, given the little lie Jeongguk told about you previously dating Jimin.

"What?!" She plays innocent, and it's suddenly so easy to see why Jeongguk is the way that he is. A product of the people around him, he soaks up their best qualities like a sponge in search of water. His playfulness must come from her. Taking the bunch of flowers, she smiles. "Let's go put these in a vase. You must be hungry."

"Ravenous," Jeongguk confirms, as if he didn't eat half an hour ago. "What's for dinner? And where's dad?"

"At the driving range," she tuts, encouraging you both further into the house.

Large and open plan, the sitting room is adjacent to the kitchen; a space designed for socialisation, it's clear that Jeongguk's parents enjoy hosting. It's no surprise that they agreed to let you stay without hesitation, and is also why Jeongguk had no qualms about asking.

"Minhyuk got a new driver that he wanted to show off, apparently," she continues. "A Titlelist. Got it in some dodgy back alley sale. Your father reckons he's been scammed, but Minhyuk reckons it's the real deal, so I'll guess we'll see."

"Minhyuk lives down the road," Jeongguk explains to you as his mum rummages around in a cupboard to find her favourite vase. He's smiling, amused by it all. "Bit of a busybody. Likes being in people's business, so Dad likes to return the favour. Petty middle-aged man shit."

"Watch your language," his mother scolds. He apologises immediately.

It's sweet, seeing Jeongguk like this. He's always been respectful, even if he does swear like a sailor and has a sense of humour that would send a prude to an early grave.

"As for dinner, I told your father to meet us at the samgyeopsal place you like down by the beach-"

"Ugh," Jeongguk smiles, beaming from ear to ear. "Thank you."

"Don't know why you're thanking me," she hums sweetly as she arranges the flowers in the vase. A little lacklustre while they were still wrapped up, she manages to preen them to look far more beautiful. "You're paying."

"I'm- what?!" He whines, now, taking on the role of youngest son perfectly.

She's just joking, and you all know it - but you also know Jeongguk will likely try and cover the bill regardless. Glancing over to you with a cheeky grin, his mum playfully shrugs her shoulders. You return the smile, and giggle a little harder when Jeongguk continues to whine.

"Oh hush your moaning," she simply says. "Go take your bags through to your rooms. We'll head out in half an hour."

Jeongguk doesn't protest. Drags you along with him back to the entry hall to retrieve the bags.

"See," he says quietly, finding your shyness all rather curious. You're never normally like this. Never so quiet. "Told you there was nothing to worry about. Mum always likes my friends."

Picking up your bag to hoist it over your shoulder, you simply say, "Nerves are natural."

Jeongguk doesn't entirely disagree, but really thinks there's no need for you to feel this way.

"Yeah, if you're meeting, like, a girlfriend's parents," he says. "My parents are nothing to be scared of. Idiot."

"Doesn't matter if I'm not your girlfriend, Gguk. I still want them to like me," you remind him. "And let's be realistic here, parents aren't one for subtleties. You've brought a girl home and have hickies on your neck - I need to touch up the foundation, by the way. If they notice, they're gonna add two and two and get five."

"Well actually," he interjects. "They'll add two and two and get four. You are the girl who gave me them."

You laugh. He's got a point. "But I'm not your girlfriend ."

Yep , he thinks. Thanks for the reminder.

It's not like he even wants that. He knows that things are good as they are. Knows that any indication of things getting serious will likely make you run for the hills.

Things feel easy, now. He doesn't wanna do anything that will complicate it. Won't tell you how he's feeling, 'cause he knows the second it does, things will change.

He doesn't know if it would be for better or for worse, but he knows you. Knows his own lived experiences.

The mistakes made with Hayun have contorted his ability to go with his heart, because he knows the pain it can cause. Will take the nail-biting uncertainty of his feelings for you over the soul-crushing certainty of rejection any day of the week.

You're equally as shaped by your own experiences.

Once had a man who would declare his love for you on a Monday morning before his monthly business trip, only for him to spend the entire week in bed with a girl from the accounting department. You've no trust in words. No trust in anything, really, when it comes to matters of the heart. All you can trust is how you feel - but even that's a little more confusing than usual, these days.

"And thank God for that," Jeongguk teases, which seems to settle the woes within you. He tilts his head to the side and guides you up the hallway. "C'mon. I'll show you to your room."

He deliberately doesn't show you his own room. Will show you later, once he's had the chance to hide away most of the embarrassing stuff he hasn't touched since he was a teenager.

Instead, he leads you straight into his brother's old room, and winces.

"It's worse than I remembered."

Jeongmin's bedroom walls are coated in the Lotte Giants; like an oil slick on the surface of a road, or ice cream dripping down the side of a cone. Unsubtle, garish and impossible to ignore, the man is an interior decor menace.

Flags, shirts, commemorative posters, you name it; Jeongmin has it. You think he must have personally spent enough money to fund an entire season of the KBO.

It's a pretty inoffensive colour scheme - white, blue, red - but it's still an eyesore. The rest of the house is well-decorated. Tasteful. Roses do come with thorns, you consider. Maybe Jeongmin and Jeongguk's rooms qualify for that position.

"So your brother likes football?" You deadpan - although you're sure if there was a Lotte Giants branded football, you'd be able to find one in this room.

Jeongguk just shakes his head. Doesn't even dignify it with a proper response.

"It's a miracle he even managed to get girlfriends during high school. This shit is... I didn't recall there being so much."

Signed baseballs, bobbleheads, foam fingers. God. It's endless. Trading card binders, house slippers, even a rubber duck. It's overwhelming.

"What about now?" You ask of Jeongmin's passion. "Still obsessed?"

"Less so," Jeongguk shrugs. "Did call his dog Seagull, though."

The prospect of a dog being called Seagull has you bursting into laughter. You half think Jeongguk is joking - but quickly realise he isn't. For some reason, that only makes it even funnier.

"Will he be at dinner? Your brother?" You ask, setting your bag down on the freshly made bed. The scent of laundry detergent wafts up, and it reminds you of being back at Jeongguk's place in the city. You've never felt more at home in a stranger's bedroom.

"Why?" Jeongguk asks, narrowing his eyes, remembering what you had said earlier. "You're not allowe-"

"Oh give over," you laugh. "You know I won't."

You've never seen his brother, but already know Jeongguk must be the brother. The one that the girls go crazy over.

Then again, Jeongguk did say that his brother is a fuck boy. Perhaps he's just as handsome.

Impossible .

Thing is, Jeongguk doesn't know you won't go for his brother. You made threats earlier. Knows he ignited a fire in you the second he pulled the 'Daddy' stunt. Knows you're competitive. Regrets it a little bit now. Only has himself to blame.

"Anyway, piss off," you playfully tell him. "I wanna get changed."

Jeongguk doesn't care. Takes a seat by his brother's desk, instead. Smirks. Raises his brows in that promiscuous, boyish way that always disrupts the butterflies who peacefully rest in your diaphragm. "Okay. Get changed."

"Gguk," you deadpan. He's pushing his luck, and he knows it. Glances over to the door. It's ajar, but pushed shut enough to obscure any unwanted eyes. Just means he needs to keep his deep voice quiet.

"What?" He flirts. "Nothing I haven't seen before."

"Your mum is down the hallway!" You whisper-shriek. Sometimes you forget how much of a boy Jeongguk is, and then he pulls shit like this.

The worst part?

You love it when he's like this; all cheeky and brazen, audacious in his quest to get what he wants.

And when it's you that he wants? Oh, it gets you all hot under the collar. He has that effect on people, you think. It can't just be you.

"So?" He licks his lips. Rakes his eyes down your body. Looks fucking hungry - and to him, you look like a 5-course meal he'd gladly get on his knees and beg for. "She's not gonna come in."

His lips press down against one another, tightly. His lip ring does the thing. You whine.

"Gguk."

"Byeol." He teases. "It's not like you're getting naked. Not like we'd be doing anything. Seen you in your underwear so many times."

He'd like to know that he still can. Wants to know he hasn't fucked it all up by getting you a little vulnerable earlier.

"Maybe I am getting naked," you whisper back, feeling challenged now.

"Are you?"

"Should I?" You tease. He sits up a little straighter. Tries to be subtle as his hand drops between his legs, the heel of his palm pressing against himself. Fails. You know he's adjusting himself. Know that it means he's getting a little excited.

"Think if you need to, then you should," he simply replies. "Just a little revision of a bird, no? Nakedness ? It'd be good."

You don't need to get fully undressed. Not in the slightest - and you're not gonna.

In fact, Jeongguk isn't gonna see anything - but you're still gonna fuck with him a little first. He deserves it after this morning.

You turn away from him. Shrug the jacket off your shoulders. Toss it onto the bed. Open up your bag, and have a little dig around.

"I'm not sure what to wear," you hum, sounding a little defeated. It's intentional. Want him to think you're being genuine.

Turning to face him, you hold lingerie in either hand. Packed deliberately just to fuck with him. Had figured you'd wear it discreetly, letting him know as and when he deserved to know. Would use it to wind him up - and not to give him any satisfaction. He's right in thinking he's ignited a little competition in you.

Didn't realise you'd take him to war, instead.

He's not seen you in either of these. Has never really seen you in your 'nice' stuff. All of your underwear is nice to a certain extent, because you're intentional with your purchases. Like feeling good beneath even a pair of sweats.

However, Jeongguk has only ever been treated to matching sets.

After all, you've never tried to seduce him. He's your friend. You fuck each other, sure, but it's cause it's comfortable. Safe.

The lace in your hand is far too exciting for your established arrangement.

In your left hand is a lace bodysuit. Mesh panels make up the structure, but it's the ornate, hand-sewn lace that really makes it beautiful. The neckline is fairly high, so sometimes you get away with wearing it at a top on nights out. Been a while since you went that risque.

In your right hand, it's a classic black garter belt. Jeongguk has no idea what the fuck they're called, just knows he likes them.

He swallows. Licks his lips. Doesn't know where to focus his eyes. Barely realises he's gripping himself now. Is so fucking hard.

"Which is your favourite?" You ask, eyes innocent, voice nonchalant.

Jeongguk thinks he'll die if you wear either.

"Both are fine," he manages to say, eventually.

"Fine isn't good," you pout.

"Well what do you want me to say, B?" He whispers, clearly a little frustrated. Not with you. With himself . "That as soon as you put them on, I'll wanna take them off you? They're fuckin' hot. Both of them. Fuck ."

He tilts his head back. Whines a little. Moans. "Why do I do this to myself?"

"Think you might be a masochist," you giggle now, tossing the lingerie back down by your bag. Will save it for later. Poor boy is going through it. "You did this to yourself."

He looks at you with a huff and a frown that is far too sweet for the situation at hand.

"I'm stupid," he pouts. "Pea brain. You're the one with a big brain. You should tell me to stop doing pea brain things."

"You wouldn't listen to me even if I did," you smile fondly as you walk towards him - 'cause even if it looks like he's admitting defeat, you don't trust him yet. His cock is too hard to be making sensible choices.

Coming to a stop between his legs, you don't stop Jeongguk when his large hands stroke up the backs of your thighs. Your own hands are toying with his hair. It's all very amorous; affectionate despite the allure.

"You don't know that," he whispers, still. Cupping his strong jaw, you tilt his head upwards. Your hair is still up from earlier, and he regrets it now. Always loves it when your hair tumbles around his face. Likes being consumed by the entity of you. The scent of your shampoo, the softness of your well-conditioned hair. Heaven.

"You made a bad decision this morning," you remind him. "Would have done it even if I told you it was a bad decision."

Regretfully, Jeongguk thinks this is true. That instant gratification of his ' Daddy' stunt made it worth it.

Worth it at the time, at least.

He's not so sure, now.

Sinking to your knees, your hands stroke up his thighs. Jeongguk looks down at you, tongue wetting his lips. There's a change in his breathing. Anticipation.

"You know," you say quietly, making sure no sound travels at all. You're not looking to get kicked out of Jeongguk's house within an hour of being invited in. Looking directly at his hard crotch as your hands squeeze his thighs, you simper. "I really thought you were gonna take charge this morning. Thought you were gonna get me where you wanted me."

"Yeah?" he husks, pulling on his shirt, releasing it from the belt around his waist. Lifts it a little. Gets his abs out. Is doing shit he knows will make you salivate. One of your hands follows his encouragement and pushes up his chest. Hard beneath your warm hand, his body really is a gift from the gods.

"Yeah," you tease.

"What did you think, huh?" He says, his hand cupping your cheek to raise your gaze to his. It'd embarrass you, if it were anyone else; but for some reason, you don't mind worshipping Jeongguk unabashedly. Are on your knees like his body is your alter. Whisper words of sin like you're in a confessional. Pray that you'll never have to give this up. Religion is wasted on you, and Jeongguk is a false God, but you've never felt more holy than when you're committing cardinal sins with him. "Where was I gonna get you?"

Smiling in that coy way you so often do whenever he gets you a little vocal, your eyes rake back down his body.

"Right here," you shrug. Give him those eyes; the ones that make Jeongguk think he's seeing fucking stars. Smirk, before you say, "thought you were gonna get your cock in my mouth."

"Shit," he curses as you press down over the hard ridge in his pants. He's always so pleased to see you - especially like this. "You want that, huh? Wanna suck on it?"

Nodding, you bite on the lip, sin written in the constellations Jeongguk's gazing at. "Wanna make you feel good, Koo."

If Jeongguk doesn't get his cock in your mouth within the next minute, he's pretty sure he'll die. Has wanted it for weeks. Months . Wants you in any capacity he can get you, granted, but there are few things in life better than a good blow job. Good pussy, is, admittedly one of those things, but he already knows you have that. Thinks your mouth must be just as good.

His hands drop to his belt. Metal clangs as he races to get it undone. You let him. Don't stop. Watch on with sated pleasure as he hurries. Undoes his buttons, and then his zipper is down, too. His Calvins are on display. There's a teeny tiny damp mark showing through; evidence of how badly he wants you. "We don't have long. Be quick, B. Gonna nut so fuckin' fast."

Smirking, there's something so painfully endearing about how needy Jeongguk is as he untucks himself from his boxers. Thick and firm, his cock is just as pretty as it always is whenever he's desperate for you. The little bead of precum pooling at his tip is begging for your tongue, the freckle on his shaft deserving of a pretty little kiss.

And then you pull back. Look at his pretty, needy face and raise a brow. Poor baby .

"Said I wanna make you feel good," you smirk. "Not that I will."

You get to your feet. Walk away. Giggle to yourself as Jeongguk fucking whines as quietly as he can. Needs that door closed. Needs you to know that this balling is gonna kill him off. Head thrown back, cock in his hand, he's gonna fucking die .

"B," he growls a little, faux sobs echoing from his throat.

"What?" You smile. He looks like a fucking state, desire taking hold of the way he's staring you out, chest heaving a little bit. And then, to add insult to injury, you remember to 'address him properly'. "Something wrong, Daddy ?"

His face bunches up. Regret embeds itself into the lines on his face. He whines. "You're so mean, Disco Ball."

He's cute. Really fucking cute.

It makes you feel bad.

And fuck, you want him.

Seeing him like this gets you all sorts of fucked up - but he deserves it.

He watches you cautiously as you walk a little closer.

You crouch between his legs this time, instead of getting down on your knees. Replace his hand with yours. Have missed how it feels to have him in your grip.

Eyes on his, you watch as his chest begins to beat a little fast. His lips are ajar. Eyes forlorn, he's desperate . His cock twitches in your hand, so you tighten your fingers. A hushed moan lets you know he likes this. Likes every fucking thing about it.

Licking your lips, you position yourself a little better. Glance down. Think it's a miracle you haven't given him head yet. Have never wanted to choke on a cock more - cause what are friends for, if not that?

"I'm not mean," you whisper. You drag your wet tongue across the tiny slit that is fucking oozing for you. It takes everything in you not to give into what you want. "I'm so nice to you, Koo."

You've got a point to prove, though. Ease your grip. Stand. Replace the now empty space in your hand with his chin between your thumb and index finger, grasping onto it as you tilt him upwards.

You hold your tongue out, encouraging him to do the same - and without even a second fucking thought, he does it.

Eyes wide, Jeongguk wants this. Want you. Wants your tongue on his.

And what Jeongguk wants?

Well, eventually , he always gets it.

Your tongue swipes against his; traces of his own precum sinking onto his tongue, masking the taste of you.

He wants more.

Wants you to do it again. Wants to taste you. Wants you to sit on his lap, tongue in his mouth. Wants to be too fucking busy with his lips to remember how to breathe.

And, like always, he will get it - just not now.

Eventually, yes.

Immediately, no.

"You're gonna fuckin' kill me one day, B," he whines as you walk away from him again.

"Good," you smile, talking at full volume now. Playtime is over.

You do, however, take off your shirt, and let him watch. All he can see is your back, but even that drives him insane. He can't remember the last time he was this worked up without any indication of a release. He's been horny all fucking day.

Pulling a fresh shirt over your head, you're a little sad to see he's tucked himself away when you turn around again.

"Go get ready," you say fondly. "We don't have long."

Jeongguk is pouting. A crease between his brows, he looks hard done by.

" So mean."

His stroppy demeanour makes you laugh. It's so classically him. A Ggukism, if you ever did see one.

"That's what you get for making me call you Daddy," you say quietly. Find it funny how much of a baby he's being - and consider that maybe he's the one that is better suited to the nickname.

He whines again. Louder this time. You glance to the door. Make sure you're still without disturbance.

You want to call him baby.

Just because it works, and it's funny, and - fuck it - maybe it'd be nice.

But it would also be a step too far, you think.

"Shush," you say affectionately, not accenting your command with 'baby' like you really want to. Instead, you walk over to him and cover his mouth with your palm. "What if someone hears you whining, huh? I don't wanna have to tell your mum you've just been tasting your own cum in your brother's bedroom, do you?"

"You're so fucked up," he wails, feeling incredibly hard done by. He needs to learn how to resist you. Never wants to have to endure this again.

"We're so fucked up," you correct. "I wouldn't be so mean to anyone else - but you deserved it."

He can't even argue against it. He knows that this is a product of his own creation.

"Go, get yourself sorted out," you encourage him along. "We don't have long."

He nods. Sighs. Gets to his feet, and does his trousers back up. Is convinced he'll die before your trip to Busan finishes if this is the game you're playing.

Leaving you to get ready (and to let his raging boner die, even if he won't) Jeongguk returns within 15 minutes. He's nonchalant, as if what happened the last time he was in the room was simply a fragment of your own imagination.

You're sitting by the floor-length mirror (which is, of course, adorned in Lotte Giants memorabilia), doing your makeup. Hair claw-clipped now, Jeongguk is a little sad to see your space buns go, but understands why. You seem to be a little more demure than usual.

He nudges his knee against your back, gentle in how he touches you, your body swaying ever so slightly.

"Don't," you smile, pulling the liquid glitter away from your face. "I'll get it in my eye."

There's an innuendo to be made there, but Jeongguk knows better. Just smirks. Plonks himself down next to you; cross-legged, knees up, arms hugging around them. He looks like a condensed version of himself like this, sitting as close to you as he possibly can just so he can see himself in the mirror.

"Little disco ball," he says fondly, watching you dab the glitter onto the inner corners of your eyes. It's not something he often calls you these days, but there's something about hearing the name now that makes you smile.

"Strange, isn't it?" You muse. "This time last year I was just disco-ballin' in your club. Didn't even know your name."

He nods. Smiles. "And now you're in my brother's bedroom turning yourself into a disco ball."

"Funny little lives, we live," you muse fondly. How far you've both come. If it wasn't for the glitter, you don't think you'd recognise yourself.

"Would you have ever predicted it?" he asks. Knows he was intrigued by you from the very moment he first saw you. Has no idea what you thought of him. Wonders if you had 'what if' thoughts about him. Who he was. Who he could be. What you could become. "That you'd end up here?"

"Honestly? Sorta wanted to curl up and die after you found me in your living room."

The memories are a little hazy, but you still remember the look on Jeongguk's sleepy face in the early morning sun that was intruding on his living room at the time.

Jeongguk nods. Smiles. Remembers it far better than you do. "Yeah, wasn't your finest hour."

You turn to look at him, chin resting on your shoulder. There's a glow about you now that Jeongguk can't seem to get enough of. Wants to drink you in like purple starfuckers at 2am in the heat of full-capacity Dionysus nights.

"I mean, I don't know," you say with a small shrug. "How often do you become friends with your punters?"

"Not often," he admits. "How often do you become friends with your bartenders?"

You're coy as you smile. "Not often."

Not ever, actually.

Yeonjun doesn't count - you've never spent any time with him sober, even if you do always enjoy seeing him behind the bar. Even then, it doesn't compare to the way you seem to light up whenever Jeongguk is serving your drinks.

Jeongguk's the first. The only.

Taking the liquid glitter from your hands, Jeongguk scoots a little closer. Gets more product on the wand, and sets the tube down beside him. Pinches your chin between his index finger and thumb.

There's no opposition from you; just a silent acceptance of Jeongguk dictating your movements. Lips parting as he draws a little closer, there's apprehension to the way your eyes flicker between his own pair and his lips.

Jeongguk is pleased, but tries not to let it show. Fights his smile. Battles the inner voices telling him that kissing you would be a good idea.

Breath hitched as his dark eyes survey your face, you're regretful of the way your body responds to him. Friendship tainted by desire; a natural by-product of fucking someone you really care about, you think.

It's no secret that you adore each other, but doesn't everyone feel so fondly about their best friends?

He's slow as he dabs the end of the wand against your cheek, following around the curve of your eye socket. Jeongguk always thinks you look so pretty when you highlight yourself with glitter there. It catches the light so easily that he always notices it. Might have even been the first glitter of yours that he notices in the dreary lights of Dionysus, the hedonistic haze of neon lights and dark shadows creating the disco ball effect he likes so much.

"There," he says quietly as he finishes evening it out. "Pretty little star."

"Careful," you say back just as quietly. "You'll give me an ego."

"Just returning the favour," he jokes, screwing the wand back into the tube, his hands working quickly. "The Daddy thing really did a number on my ego this morning."

Rolling your sparkly eyes, you gently push him away.

"Fuck off, Jeon," you playfully reprimand him for mentioning it again, getting to your feet. Smoothing out your clothes as you check yourself over in the mirror, you're pleased to see that Jeongguk has applied your glitter just the way you like it. Dabbing it out slightly, your heart swells a little with how attentive he is.

Still sitting exactly where he was, Jeongguk strokes up the inside of your leg. It's all very innocent. Just touching you 'cause he likes the comfort that comes with it. You're in sheer tights, there's a softness to them that Jeongguk likes. He tries to forget the garter belt you were holding earlier. Doesn't think you'd wear it out for dinner with his parents.

He's right.

No matter how hot it might be working him up in public, you're not about to go and do it in front of his parents . You have some morals at least, even if Jeongguk does make you momentarily forget about them from time to time.

Reaching down, you scratch his hair a little, just behind his ear. Eyes closed, he leans into your touch like a little puppy dog. So docile and devoted. Cute.

"C'mon," you encourage him, but remain fixed in position. Head versus heart. Wanna stay right where you are in the cocoon of Jeongguk's family home with him, but know you have places to be. "Shouldn't keep your mum waiting."

He nods, head resting against your leg. Sighs. "Yeah. You're right. Let's go."

You offer him a hand up, of which he gladly takes. Checks himself over in the mirror. Is still wearing the outfit he drove in. Considered changing, but he's aware of the way the girls at the service station were ogling him earlier. Knows the outfit probably has something to do with it.

He doesn't mention the change of your outfit; the fact that you're wearing a white shirt too, now. It's tucked into a little black skirt, he's certain you're probably gonna wear those slightly worn out Converse of yours - and he intends on doing the exact same.

"C'mon, kids!" Jeongguk's mum calls up the corridor, echoing your thoughts about needing to leave.

It's nice, you think, to be grouped with Jeongguk in such a way. Makes you feel like this is the way it's always been. Doesn't matter if you're in your twenties, and Jeongguk's mum met you an hour ago. There's an acceptance of you; of your place in her son's life.

He glances over at you, scrunching his nose a little. Is a little awkward. Likes the idea of you being part of his life since childhood. Is sad it'll never be the case.

"You heard her. Let's go."

Ushering you back down the hallway, a hand on top of your shoulder, thumb rubbing the nape of your neck, there's a casual intimacy to the way Jeongguk always finds an excuse to touch you.

It's not scary, nor daunting in the way that you always deem intimacy to be, but it is something . Gets you feeling a little flustered. Has you wriggling out of his grip with a laugh, as if he was tickling you.

"Stop annoying the poor girl," his mother scolds fondly as you come into her line of vision, which just simply earns another protest from Jeongguk.

"She's the annoying one."

You scoff. "That's rich coming from you."

It's all in good humour, and his mother appreciates this. Likes seeing Jeongguk goof around, especially knowing how stressed he's been lately. Has barely called. Missed his father's birthday to study.

All she wants is for her children to live happy, fulfilled lives, and if there's one thing to be noted about Jeongguk's current demeanour, it's that he's undoubtedly happy.

Whether or not that has anything to do with you, she doesn't know - but she wasn't born yesterday. His desire to visit home is understandable after the pressure of his studies. He needs rest - and somehow, he factors you into that rest.

Of her two children, Jeongguk's always been the more introverted one. He needs his time to recharge. Would be the life and soul of the party at school, then come home and remain silent until dinner time.

For a few years, it bothered her. Thought that maybe Jeongguk was unhappy at home - but it was quite the opposite. It's his safe space.

And now he's bringing you into it.

"Is the room okay?" she asks you, knowing that the sheer amount of baseball memorabilia in Jeongmin's room is... a lot to take in. "Interior decoration was always more of Jeongguk's speciality. Had Jimin to give him pointers. Jeongmin... Well, he had an acquired taste... As you've probably already gathered."

Laughing a little, you nod. "It's grand. Thank you for letting me stay. I really appreciate it - and I grew up with a Lions-loving Dad. I'm used to it."

"Ohh," his mother winces, then addresses Jeongguk. "Keep this one away from Jeongmin."

You also turn behind you now, raising a brow. He's just rolling his eyes, a soft smile on his lips.

"Samsung Lions - and their fans - are the scum of the earth in Jeongmin's eyes," he explains, then looks over to his mum. "Is he coming to dinner? Do we need to sit them at opposite ends of the table?"

Shaking her head, she laughs. "No, he's got plans, apparently. I did tell him you were visiting, but you know what he's like."

Jeongguk just sort of accepts this answer. Nods. Shrugs his shoulders, as if it's to be expected. An air of disappointment clouds around Jeongguk, lips pursed, eyes stern.

He and his brother are cut from the same cloth, but have been sewn together with different stitches. For all their similarities, they have stark differences, too. This one has always been the most challenging for Jeongguk; how little his brother seems to care about maintaining a good relationship.

Jeongmin seems to think their status as brothers is enough to keep the bond strong. Doesn't seem to care about fostering an actual friendship with him.

It's part of the reason why Jeongguk is so reluctant to let go of friendships that no longer serve him. They're filling a void. He never wants to be the one who gives up. Doesn't wanna be the reason things fall apart.

"Alright," Jeongguk's mother smiles at you both. "Ready to go?"

It surprises you that she's the one driving to dinner instead of Jeongguk - but it makes sense, given the fact you and Jeongguk will stay in the area afterwards.

She insists that you sit up front, even if all forms of hierarchy would dictate that Jeongguk should be there instead. He doesn't complain. Sort of likes how you and his mum are ganging up on him like a little team.

When you arrive at the samgyeopsal place, his father is already waiting.

He's everything you expect him to be: funny, a little dramatic, and the spitting image of Jeongguk, just with a few more grey hairs and even deeper creases beneath his eyes. Introduces himself with as much gusto as a cartoon character; full of life and pleased to have another person to relay all of Minhyuk's misdemeanours to.

You learn more about the Busan Driving Range circuit than you ever could have predicted - specifically about Minhyuk, the legitimacy of his 'bargain' driver, and how Jeongguk's father is convinced he's been tampering with his balls.

Jeongguk chokes on his drink when his dad mentions that last point. Earns himself a talking to for thinking with such a dirty mind - but after a few drinks, his parents are giggling about it, too.

There's something incredibly easy about being around Jeongguk's parents. It's no wonder he's grown into the person he is.

You feel a little shy. Don't understand the in-jokes at first - but someone always explains them to you. Normally Jeongguk, but sometimes his mother. Never his father, 'cause he'll go on a twenty minute long tangent explaining the lore and the back story. They've learnt this the hard way.

Still, he's a dab hand when it comes to grilling the meat. Takes charge of it all. Plates his wife up first, always. You second, Jeongguk third, and then himself. Head of the house, he takes his place in the hierarchy seriously, but not at the expense of the ones he loves. Will make sure they're provided for first.

Jeongguk is much the same. In charge of refilling the soju and beer, he'll pour for his father first, then mother, then you. Puts the bottle down before he fills his own, which is when you step up and fill his glass. He'll nudge with you his knee beneath the table to make you wobble, but never enough to make you spill it.

Subscribing to drinking norms is something that you never really do with Jeongguk. He's a bartender, after all. Things are always a little unconventional. He's normally the one making you drinks and sorting himself out, too.

Something about this feels incredibly domesticated. Natural. Pleasant.

By the time dinner is done, Jeongguk's parents have to order a taxi. Had a little too much to drink- but you're bloody glad for it. Made it a lot easier for you.

"Your parents are fun," you beam, walking down the promenade of Gwangalli with Jeongguk. It's your favourite of all the busy beaches in the city, but you rarely ever get the chance to see it after dark. There'll be a drone show, soon. You've definitely never seen that. Can't wait for it.

"They sure are something," he laughs, a little embarrassed. They have big personalities, which he's glad of, but he knows they can be a bit much sometimes. "Dad drinks well, so we probably had a bit more than we should have done. Sorry."

Shaking your head, you don't mind in the slightest. Are at that giddy stage of drinking, where everything seems marvellous, and bad decisions cosplay as good choices.

"Are you forgetting how we met? I don't mind having one too many, Gguk."

"True," he agrees, checking the time on his phone. Still a good half an hour before the small show. It's just a free thing that the city council puts on every night, not a huge deal to him anymore, but he understands why people romanticise it. Knows that you have to see it.

Tugging on your hand, Jeongguk checks the road before he crosses, dragging you along with him.

"Hm?" You squeak, taken by surprise. A little tipsy, your reflexes aren't as fast as usual, just like tipsy Jeongguk isn't as good at voicing his thought processes as sober Jeongguk usually is.

"Photos," he simply states, leading you into a small retail unit that houses only photo booths.

It's the standard set-up: wall partitions between self-timer camera units, and curtains instead of doors to the small spaces. Each booth has a different colour background, adding to their own individual charms. The walls of the entryway are lined in discarded pictures; friendship groups, couples, first dates, anniversaries, birthdays. Life events, big and small. Moments of time captured to last forever.

Accessories and props are abundant in the entry area - hats, glasses, wigs, signs. Your favourites are always the headbands. Kitty ears, normally, though sometimes you branch out into bunny ears if you're feeling fancy.

There are five booths in total along the back wall, but one in particular grabs your attention: the one advertising Sanrio-themed frames instead of the standard solid colour outline.

"Oh my god," you gasp, and then it's Jeongguk's turn to squeak with confusion. You point to it. Specifically, to the My Melody and Kuromi figures by the bottom of the ad. "It's us."

He smiles. Doesn't really understand your hyper fixation. Agrees nonetheless. "It is us."

The pair of you goof around, picking props. Jeongguk learns that you find him in any sort of animal ears absolutely hilarious, but the second he puts on a yacht captain's hat?

"Take that off right this second," you tell him, voice stern, eyes wide.

He's bemused. Snorts a little. Teeth on show, he's dangerously pretty. So handsome and yet such a little shit. "Why? Like it?"

You turn your nose up. "Hate it."

"I know you're lying," he laughs. Tilts it down. "Is this getting you all hot, B?"

"I'm leaving," you say, because it's so much easier than saying yes.

Something about him in a white shirt, with that hat? White with a navy peak, gold embroidery on the sides? God, you see why the old money girlies like boatmen so much. Decide that you're never getting on a boat with Jeongguk if you want to retain your sanity.

He takes it off. You don't even realise it, but you pout.

"You're so confusing, Byeol," he says as he playfully puts it on your head - and then he's feeling all fucked up too.

Something about a captain's hat. Just really does the trick.

You've both had too much to drink. There's no reason for you both to be getting flustered because of a stupid hat and yet -

"I don't think we should ever touch hats again," Jeongguk says very quickly.

But then you put a pair of kitty ears on and he starts questioning whether or not furries are actually kinda onto something.

He furrows his brows. Picks up a pair of ears. Bunny ones. Black. They're satin and a little too sexy, he thinks, but he's gotta see himself in them.

And when he does?

He kinda gets why girls dress up like cute animals for fancy dress parties. Doesn't wanna blow his own trumpet - but shit. He does look cute.

"Oh my god, YES," you exclaim when you clock his new attire, and quite literally drag him to the booth. He gets no say in the matter, and honestly doesn't care. Is having too much fun with you to take any of this seriously.

You pick the Sanrio framed booth, because of course you do. Jeongguk pops his card in the slot, and lets you click through on the options that you want - 4cut, vertical frame. The classic style. Your favourite.

Turning to Jeongguk, you tweak his glasses a little. Can't decide if they look better hiked up, or further down his perfectly sloped nose.

All Jeongguk can think about is your nose, and much he wants to nudge his up against yours.

And so he does just that.

Doesn't give a fuck.

The camera flashes.

You're caught, forevermore, in your state of Jeongguk-induced hypnosis. The pictures will survive beyond you. Will be stored in boxes to be looked at once, maybe twice by future generations.

One day, no one will know the name of you nor the boy you're with. They won't know how the scent of his aftershave lingers, nor the way your soft exhale of air sounds as you smile. Your present will be lost to history, this photograph? Your legacy.

Nothing will be known of you, and yet this picture alone will tell them everything they need to know.

"We're gonna waste shots," you whisper. The booth takes six photos, but you'll only be allowed to choose four for the printed picture at the end.

The more to choose from, the better.

"So?" Jeongguk smirks. Holds your neck just beneath your jaw. Strokes across your cheek with his thumb. Looks at you with sparkly eyes and a boyish smile that is just begging to be kissed. "Don't you wanna see what it looks like when we kiss?"

"It's intimate," you remind him.

"Maybe - but it's also fun," he reminds you.

The camera flashes again. That's two shots wasted, now.

If you let this carry on, it'll be three, and then one of them will have to be used in the final print.

And yet as Jeongguk nudges against your nose a little deeper, you let him.

When his lips ghost yours, you let him.

When his lips press down, you let him.

You'll let the third photo be taken, because you'll be too busy kissing him back to pay attention.

The fourth, too.

Lips on yours, Jeongguk kisses you in a way that he hasn't done before. It's delicate, and gentle, but his lips are strong. Intentional. There's no intrusion of tongue, no fervent need to get you moaning, even though it feels like you will regardless.

Your brain screams at you. Something about rules, and breaking them.

You ignore it.

'Cause all you can think about is the way this feels.

You don't think you've ever had a kiss like it.

And it's terrifying.

It's not until the fifth shot flashes that you both pull away; smiles smitten, eyes glossy. Both of you felt that. Ain't no way he couldn't have.

You think that maybe that's even more terrifying.

And so for the sixth shot?

Both of you pretend to throw up, disgust plaguing your giggly smiles and blushed cheeks.

There's distance between you, but as soon as the camera flashes, Jeongguk is pulling you back to his side again. It's just so that you're both ready to look through the pictures that are about to pop up on the little touchscreen. He's being helpful. Glances down at you, and has to stop himself from pressing a kiss into your hair.

Things are just so easy with you.

As soon as the pictures load, you're laughing. "We have to retake these."

"No, no, no," he swats your hand away, then taps on one of the photos, adding it to the preview frame. "My jaw looks really good in this one."

It's shot number four. Mid kiss. His hands on your cheeks, yours out of frame because they were on his waist. His jaw really does look fantastic - but it's sort of devastating when you realise just how happy he looks. He's smiling into the kiss. The most devastating thing of all?

So are you.

"How is that even us," you giggle. Seems so bizarre to see yourself like this.

"Gross isn't it," he smiles, adding more of the pictures to the frame, but you're the one correcting him now, tapping his hand to move him out of your way.

"We need them in order," you say. "A chain of events."

Eventually, the order is settled: the nudging of noses, the innocence of a kiss with the sin of Jeongguk's sharp jaw, the slightly startled look in both of your eyes as you'd pulled away, and then, of course, both of you pretending to vomit.

As they print, you pick out props for the next set of photos - Jeongguk in a pair of purple heart-shaped glasses and a Kuromi headband, you in that damn sailor's hat - and discuss which poses to actually do. This time round, it's all peace signs and finger hearts; goofy angles too close to the camera and a little laughter to set the tone.

"C'mon," Jeongguk says softly as you finish sliding the pictures into the thin plastic sleeves next to the booths. He normally doesn't bother with them. Likes that you seem to care about preserving the integrity of your memories. Hand outstretched, he encourages you to take it.

"Your bird," he says. "Said we'd do it in Busan."

The look you give him is coy, eyes a little sultry, lips a little pouty.

When you're silent, Jeongguk laughs. "Hold my hand, B."

"Getting a little date-like, don't you think?" You say of the night, but Jeongguk just shrugs.

"So? We'll just call it practise."

"Mhhm," he nods, shaking his hand a little because you still haven't held it. He's impatient. It's only as you take his hand that he begins talking again. "You don't wanna go back into the dating world unprepared. What if Mr Mechanical Engineer tries to hold your hand without you being ready for it?" He squeezes your hand, leading you out the door. "Let's get you used to it."

The mention of Seojoon makes you feel guilty. About him? About Jeongguk? You're not sure. It's something you need to figure out. Something you need to figure out fast .

And yet as Jeongguk holds both yours and his shoes in one hand, your hand firmly secured in the other, you choose not to think about it.

Just think of the sand, and how it will be a bitch to get out of your tights. It's sort of like your glitter, in a way.

But just like Jeongguk wouldn't trade your glitter for anything, you wouldn't trade this moment for anything either.

Neither of you say much. Just listen to the waves rolling in. Listen to other people's conversations. Listen to the whir of the drones as they start up and get into position. The show begins. Won't last longer than ten minutes. The silence is comfortable.

He holds your hand, and you move them to your lap in a bid to keep them warm.

Jeongguk isn't really feeling the cold. His heart is simply burning too brightly.

"I'm really glad you're here," he says as the show draws to a close.

"Me too," you whisper back fondly. "It must be nice to be home."

"Well, you know they say," he muses. "Home is where the heart is, and all that."

Been at home for months, B.

You breathe through your nose, exhaling a sincere smile. Could say a million things. Could say nothing at all. Could ask what he means, but you're taking it at face value. Genuinely think he's just happy to be home.

"We should visit more often," you suggest.

"I'd like that," he nods as he squeezes your hand. "You wanna go explore the night markets?"

Grinning, you get to your feet immediately. "Thought you'd never ask."

Jeongguk leads the way. Shows you his old haunts. Gets you hotteok from his favourite stand down by the promenade. Shows you the arcade machine he once spunked away 50,000 won on and didn't even win a prize. Shows you the initials he and Jimin caved into a pavement curb fourteen years ago. Took them hours. Both got blisters. Worth it though. They're embedded in the city, forevermore.

He takes you down memory lane, and you find it's your favourite street to visit with Jeongguk. You love his history; learning what shaped him. Who shaped him. Where.

Not once does Jeongguk let go of your hand.

Not down the markets, not along the beach, not in the taxi home, even when he doses off for a moment, head resting on your shoulder.

Not once. Not until you're both home, and he's saying goodnight outside of his brother's bedroom door. He's still toying with your fingers. Isn't even gonna suggest the idea of doing things you know you shouldn't.

Doesn't wanna taint the night.

In the morning, he'll blame all of his bad decisions on the alcohol. Will say he was tipsy, even though you stopped drinking hours ago.

He hugs you goodnight. Lingers a little too long. Too close. Nudges his nose against yours. Brushes his thumb against your cheek.

"This..." he whispers. "This is what it should be like."

His jaw tenses. He holds himself back from pressing his lips against yours like he so desperately wants to. Knows he's already said too much. Pulls himself away from you, to press a kiss against your forehead.

His lip ring is so hard, and his lips so soft, that it makes you feel all sorts of fucked up.

The most fucked up thing of all?

How badly you want his lips on yours.

But then he fucking walks away .

Closes his door. Shuts you out.

The evening had been so simple. So straightforward. Casual. Nothing confusing in the slightest. You were happy. So was he.

And yet as you lie in bed, all that rattles around in your head for hours on end is the question: what the fuck is happening to us?

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

[elliesspacewalker]

would you write something more on the cuter fluffy side? like baby ellie and reader being friends, maybe reader being supportive of ellie trying to help her somewhat? just them being cuties.

Yess!!

Warnings: pure fluff, mentions of suicide, transgender!Ellie and mentions of gender dysphoria

-

I feel like Ellie would be super emotional about coming out as trans, I think she would think people would think of her differently. Obviously this isn't true, you, Dina, Jesse, cat, and everyone around her loves her so much!

I definitely think she'd cry a lot about it too, you'd definitely catch her crying for "no reason"

"Ellie hey? Why are you crying?" You'd comfort her and hold her as she sobs into your shoulder, moving a comforting hand to rub her shoulder as she sniffles "I don't know" she attempted to calm herself down "Ellie- breathe, please" you put your hand on your chest and breathed in and out, and she starts copying what you're doing "good job, it's okay" she calms down and brushes it off, obviously you weren't happy about it but she did calm down, she was OKAY and that was the point-

I also think she'd spend hours looking up gender dysphoria and thinking there was something wrong with her- that she wasn't normal and there was something severely wrong with her. After months of thinking she calls you over to talk to her, obviously you prepared for the worst because she never usually asked for you to come over and just talk to her because she wanted to kill herself- you could tell by her voice that shes been crying a lot.

It takes you not even 10 minutes to get to hers to see her tear stained cheeks.

"Els? What's wrong baby" you asked her, and she pulls you in for a hug "I think there's something wrong with me" her voice cracks as she holds you tight.

"talk to me Els, what happened?" Your voice is soft, so she knows you're not mad or angry, you're just concerned for her.

"i-i think I'm trans" she mumbles out, now standing in front of you. "Is this all you had to tell me?" You cup her face and wipe away her tears, you almost start crying after seeing her in so much pain "it's okay, I promise" you comfort her

"I thought you'd hate me or something" she sniffles.

"now, why the fuck would you think that?" You chuckle, "I love you for you Ellie and if you want to be a girl then that's who you are babe. no one can tell you different"

After that she came out to everybody except Joel, she's always gone to him for her problems but this felt personal and maybe he would reject her even though she knows he never would.

Until one night Joel misgendered her and she became really insecure about herself.. she barely touched her food and barely talked until Joel asked her what was up and she mumbled 'im trans' and Joel just looked at her, obviously shocked by this but he wasn't mad- Ellie saw this and thought he was mad and immediately broke down crying and Joel comforted her to tell her it was okay, and that he wasn't mad.

"I'm just mad you didn't tell me, I would've called you she if that's what you really wanted... You could've just told me Ellie" he says to her and she wipes away her tears "I'm sorry" she mumbled out "it's okay, I promise" he hugged her tightly..

-

After that, everybody started calling her a she instead of misgendering her and she definitely gained a lot more self confidence from this.

-

A/n: pretty short but I am thinking of making a series about this.... And about my own experiences

[03jyh23]

—  moonlit promises || park seonghwa

idol!seonghwa x non-idol!reader

synopsis: you just miss your fiancé

genre: fluff

trigger warnings: none

words: 1.3 k

reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there! this was written for my best friend when she was having a bad day. "moonlit promises" was personalized to suit her so i decided to post only a short part of the original work. since i posted a lot of angst lately, i think it's a good time to post this short fluff.

love, monika. ♡

if you enjoyed this post, i’d be so grateful for a little love – a like, reblog or comment would truly make my day!

taglist: @hoeforalbedo (if you'd like to join my taglist you can just let me know here!)

You sat by the window, the soft glow of the moon casting a gentle light across your small room. It was late, and the world outside was quiet except for the occasional rustle of leaves in the breeze.  

You hold your engagement ring delicately between your fingertips, and you can’t help but marvel at its beauty. The ring glimmers in the soft light, its facets catching the light in a mesmerizing dance of sparkle and shine. The centerpiece, a brilliant diamond, seems to hold a universe of its own within its depths, reflecting the love and commitment shared between Seonghwa and you. You trace the intricate patterns of the band, feeling the smooth metal against your skin. Each curve and twist seems to tell a story of your journey together, from the moment you first met to the promise of forever that now lies before you. The ring feels like a tangible symbol of your love, a constant reminder of the bond you share and the future you are building together. 

As you gaze at the ring, you feel a swell of emotion wash over you. It's more than just a piece of jewelry; it's a promise, a vow, a testament to the depth of your love and the commitment you have made to each other. And as you slip the ring onto your finger, you know you won't be able to resist calling your fiancé. 

With your phone in hand, you dialled Seonghwa's number, heart fluttering with anticipation as it rang, hoping that he would have a minute or two to talk.  

 "Hey, love," Seonghwa's voice greeted you, warm and comforting despite the miles between you. 

 "Hi, Seonghwa," you replied, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd call you." 

"Ah, I'm glad you did, we already finished our rehearsals for today," Seonghwa said softly. "Did the stars made you think about me again?" he asked, his voice carrying a soft smile that you could hear. 

"Yeah..." You admitted shyly "I miss you a lot, especially on nights like these when the stars are out and shining so brightly. Nights like these always reminds me of you, but even though they shine brightly, they just don't seem as magical without you by my side."  

"I miss you too, baby," Seonghwa whispered "But talking to you makes it feel like you're right here with me." Your heart swelled at his words, your gaze drifting to the sky outside once again. When you look up at the stars, you feel a deep connection to your fiancé, even across the miles that separate you. The stars serve as a reminder of your love and the special bond you two share, it’s like the stars are strengthening your connection despite the physical distance. You sighed softly; voice tinged with longing as you spoke to Seonghwa through the phone.  

"I wish you could be here, holding me in your arms," you murmured, as you wrapped the blanked around you, your words carried the weight of your separation. "The hoodies you left... they've lost your smell already." There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line before Seonghwa replied, his voice filled with empathy.  

"I know, love. Next time I will spray all of them with my perfume twice as much." He laughed softly before continuing "I miss holding you close, feeling your warmth against me. I miss your eyes. But even though I'm not there physically, know that my love for you hasn't faded, not even a little bit." you closed your eyes, a tear slipping down your cheek as you listened to Seonghwa's words.  

"I know," you whispered, your voice barely above a breath. "And I hold onto that." Seonghwa's heart ached at the sadness in your voice, wishing more than anything that he could be there to comfort you.  

"I promise, Y/N," he said softly, his voice filled with determination, "One day soon, I'll hold you in my arms again." you smiled through tears, feeling a glimmer of hope within your chest.  

"You better keep that promise, Park Seonghwa" you replied playfully, voice warmer than before. "Until then, I'll cherish every moment we have together, even if it's just through late-night phone calls and memories of your scent." 

You never blamed Seonghwa for living his life as an idol, truth be told, even after all these years in a relationship, you remained his fan, genuinely thrilled by his success. You knew that no one deserved success as much as ATEEZ. From his early days, you had been there for him, supporting him every step of the way. Yet on a night like this, the ache of missing him became overwhelming. You wished he was beside you.  

"Speaking of stars," Seonghwa said, his voice taking on a playful tone, "did I ever tell you that you're my little star? Shining bright even in the darkest of nights." your cheeks flushed at his endearing words.  

"You always know how to make me smile," you said, heart overflowing with love for him. 

"And you always know how to make my heart skip a beat," Seonghwa replied, his affection evident in every word. As you continued to talk, your laughter mingling with the gentle night sounds, you couldn't help but feel grateful for moments like these, when distance seemed to fade away and your love shone brighter than any star in the sky.  

"I love you, Y/N," Seonghwa's voice came through the phone, gentle and sincere, wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. "And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you" Your breath caught in your throat at his declaration, your heart swelling with love for him.  

"And I can’t wait to marry you," It’s been four years since you started dating, one year into being engaged, but you never got used to hearing those three words from Seonghwa. "I love you too, Seonghwa," you whispered, voice filled with emotion. You lingered in silence for a moment, basking in the warmth of the love you shared, before Seonghwa spoke again, his voice soft and soothing. 

"You should go to sleep, my love," he said tenderly. "What time is it there like... 3 am?"  your eyes fluttered open at Seonghwa's words, a small smile playing on your lips as you glanced at the clock beside your bed.  

"Almost, I’m amazed that you know," you replied softly, "It's actually 2:40 am." Seonghwa sighed on the other end of the line, the frustration evident in his tone.  

"I hate these time zones," he admitted, his voice tinged with longing. "I wish I could be there to tuck you in and cuddle you close." Your heart ached at his words; your own longing mirrored in his. "But I guess tonight you will have to settle for my hoodie," 

"I wish you could be here too," you whispered, voice filled with sadness, "But knowing that you're thinking of me, even from miles away, is enough to keep me warm." Seonghwa's response was immediate, his voice filled with love and reassurance.  

"I'll always be thinking of you, baby," he said softly. "No matter the distance." You felt a sense of peace wash over you, knowing that even in the darkness of night, Seonghwa's love would always light the way.  

Seonghwa's voice continued to fill the quiet of the night, a steady rhythm that lulled you deeper into sleep. His words were like whispered promises, wrapping around you. 

"Sleep well, my darling," Seonghwa murmured, his voice soft and affectionate. "Dream of us, together under the stars, where distance cannot separate our hearts." You smiled, your dreams already filled with visions of Seonghwa's warm smile and the promise of your future together. With his voice as your anchor, you surrendered to the peaceful embrace of sleep, knowing that no matter the distance, your love would always bring you back to each other. And as you drifted off to sleep, Seonghwa's voice remained with you, a constant presence in the darkness, guiding you through the night until the dawn of a new day. 

[dkskposts]

for this week's episode i don't have a lot to say, but let's fucking go:

toey and q need to talk, actually talk; and toey should respect q's time, give the man a break jesus!!! not just bc he took the initiative to ask you to eat with him means everything is fine...

i hat show the only feeling toey though that q could possibly have is anger, bc he can't be hurt about what happened, he can't feel betrayed about it, right?

they made my boy matt pay for six (or seven?) drinks, and they didn't even take a sip of it, that pissed me off

i liked how fang described liking someone, how and why he likes tan (this was to shut up those who were criticizing my and tan's man last week, a bunch of idiots);

oh phum need to use words, he's making everything to read and act on his little crush on peem, but he need to use words... while he's has this ability to read people and show how he feels through acts (taking pictures of peen because he's looks adorable, he is so loser omg), peem seems like he needs a verbal affirmation to finally act how his own feelings (he asking to phum repeat what he said)

OH!!! phum goes to his house, where are their father??? since last week i can't stop thinking about heir father, where is he? their mother died? where is she? have a behind photo that maybe is phumpeem eating with phum's parents but i could be wrong, could be peem's parents too

the photo in question 👆

i want more chainpun! i so want to see more of their story!!

pun is so beautiful my baby boy who could never do any wrong (yeah he signed up his friends to a camp without their consent but look at his face, he can do whatever he wants)

THEY'RE ALREADY MARRIED LOOK AT THEM 🥺

are you jealous sir?

i love my boys and will defend them of everything!! i literally cried with this entire scene like what do you mean they're all just good friend 🥺

i particularly think the best scenes are the ones where they are all together being happy!! also the way peek talked about how he feels when he's with his friends oh god i couldn't read the subtitles because i was crying 🥺🥺

a visual representation of me watching (most of) this week's episode

i will not talk about kluen bc i don't want to and i still want to see what my boy have going on (besides falling in love at first sight with the boy you smacked in the head thinking it was your friend and him making you pay for his drink of course)

i'm going to end this post by saying that: pun is so beautiful! like look at him he's my beautiful beautiful baby

[the-rainbow-lesbian]

if you're a new follower of mine or just don't know who I am and where I am coming from: hi! I am a middle eastern arab woman who is seeking asylum in a western country. I am an atheist ex-muslim lesbian and I left my family, my home, and country because it was not safe for me to stay and I wanted to live authentically according to my own values and who I am. a lot of people said I am brave for what I did but tbh I really didn't have any other choice, I didn't choose any of this like how I didn't choose to be born in the middle east to a muslim family.

I avoided talking about islam and ex-muslim issues even though I passively engage with content made by ex-muslims, because I wanted to move on with my life and not risk it by attaching my face and name to any activism related to being an ex-muslim, but after october 7th I realized that it isn't really as simple as putting physical distance between myself and islamic terrorism/islamofascism because it is making itself comfortable on my doorstep, and our jewish neighbors and friends don't feel safe anymore. antisemites cheered on the biggest massacre against jews since the holocaust, and jews didn't have time to mourn or comprehend the tragedy before they needed to put on defenses against the mob who want to destroy the only country in the world that will protect them. speaking out against antisemitism in this small blog is consistent with everything I believe in as a human being and I don't know why that surprised a lot of people who think of themselves as anti-racists tbh, and this became even more personal to me cause I have a loved one who is jewish and I would very much like them to stay safe and not be bombarded with daily reports of antisemitic hate crimes and worry that they or their family and community are next.

I know that I can't ever go home in my lifetime and that it isn't a safe place for me. I also perfectly understand where hamas is coming from in terms of religious endgoals for their group and why they do the things they do, I support the right of all innocent people to live safely and freely, but you can't guarantee your individual human rights under an islamic fascist state, this is something that people in the west don't understand because they take their rights and liberties for granted and are blinded by their privilege, they don't seem to grasp that others fight so hard just to live as they do. they also don't seem to understand that things can and will get worse if they don't wake up soon. they can absolutely extend their support to people in the middle east, but they are being very disrespectful and racist when they parrot slogans instead of actually understanding the region and its complexities.

[consumedbyfeels]

Ashes to Ashes Spoilers

Okay so I am not okay after "Ashes to Ashes"

spoilers below

First off I love how proud Buck looks when Tommy gets his award.

And go Chim put Gerrald in his place, Also I hate him but you have to admit "I heard you got your wings" was a clever way to insult Tommy, it doesn't even sound inherently like an insult so A+ for creativity even if you are being a dick.

I just love the Gerrald a man who is playing prejudice bingo and winning had to watch a gay man, a bisexual man, a hispanic man, a asian man and a black lesbian receive awards and play nice and be professional while doing so, He must have hated every moment and I love it.

LEAVE HENREN ALONE!!!! WTF they are best parents Mara could have and they were so close to being family. I know they are going to fight like hell for her and the firefam with be with them every step of the way, but damn that women has it out for Hen and she has the power to make her life hell. I hope they can win but I'm scared, that is a powerful enemy to have.

Also Buck being a good friend to Eddie about the whole Kim thing and being supportive but also lowkey knocking sense into him. I have to admit my favorite part is eddie being confuse whos at his back door and even more confused when it's buck who asks if he can come in as if he doesn't have a key and barges in whenever he wants.

Eddie confronting his feeling over Shannon and finally getting closer is going to be great for him after it blows things up a bit. Marosal and Chris could not have had worse timing but it'll end for the better I believe. I just wanted to give Eddie a big hug in that scene, I was about to start crying with him. Poor baby.

Also bobby telling Buck he knows Tommy is a good man because they haven't had to talk about it is amazing. We love a supportive dad.

Athena honey, "there is a part of you I could never touch" ouch. My Bathena heart.

Nooo Bobby better be okay, I just know the next episode is going to be heartbreaking.

You can see Amir getting angry as he looks at the photos. Bobby is going to blame himself and that's going to spiral into something bad. Athena's going to blame herself because she asked Amir to come over and everything and now Bobby is hurt.

Also where is Harry during the fire? May is probably at her place but Harry was staying with them. I'm guessing he wasn't there cuz neither of them went all Papa/Mama Bear but I'm gonna need confirmation of this fact pleas ABC.

I hope Bobby lives and stays at the 118.

They really set up for all kinds of heartbreak in this episode. There was a lot packed into this week.

Why is everything but Tevan and Madney a dumpster fire holy shit, I am not okay. Don't get me wrong I am happy Tevan and Madney are thriving they deserve it but damn,

If you need me I will be consoling my broken heart by reading/writing Tevan fics.

[sillysistersusi]

Her Own Choice

Fandom: The Silmarillion

Summary: When Elrond sails to Valinor, he isn't sure how to tell Celebrían that Arwen isn't with him. So he avoids her. Luckily, Maglor is there to talk some sense into him.

"You should talk to her." Maglor said and even though Elrond was startled, he did not flinch. He had got used to having Maglor back by now. He had searched for him for years and had at last found him a week before he left for Valinor.

It hadn't taken long to persuade him to come along, but that was largely due to the fact that Elrond had left him no choice at all. Not after he had searched for his Atya for so long.

Elrond stared at the ceiling of his room, feeling incredibly young again.

They had only arrived in Valinor a few days ago, but instead of visiting relatives and friends like everyone else, Elrond had hidden himself away and hadn't seen the light for two days.

Because he was afraid. What should he tell Celebrían? After everything that had happened, she had certainly not expected Elrond to be incapable enough to not persuade Arwen to come to Valinor. He simply did not know how to make his wonderful wife, who had already been through so much, realise that she would never see her only daughter again.

But instead of giving a voice to all these feelings and explaining them to Maglor, he simply turned on his side, away from his father. For Elrond was sure that Maglor knew what he was feeling anyway. He was Maglor and he knew Elrond better than most.

He heard his Atya sigh. "Look, I know you blame yourself, but you did not do anything wrong." Maglor sat down beside him and began stroking his hair. "Arwen is happy and that is what really counts. Just like Estel being happy. If they need each other for their happiness and want to be mortal, then you cannot blame Arwen."

"I don't at all, Atya." Elrond said quietly. "Arwen has chosen mortality for more than just love. I have spoken to her at length and her reasons have made me very- " He swallowed hard and Maglor sucked in his breath sharply, for he knew what was to come. "Her reasons reminded me a lot of Elros."

"Finding out that one of my beautiful children is mortal was hard," Maglor admitted quietly, "but it was his choice, and my feelings would never stand in the way of his happiness. And from what you've told me about Celebrían, I do not think she feels any differently."

"Galadriel has probably already told her," Elrond said, rubbing his eyes. "But what- "

The problem was that Elrond did not know 'what'. He was afraid, yes, but especially-

Maglor realised it at the same moment, for he whispered, "You have not forgiven yourself."

Elrond pressed his lips together to stifle a sob but even then, no tears came. "If she is angry or disappointed- I - I do not know what I would do then, Atya."

Maglor's hand stopped briefly in his hair. "Yonya, if what you told me about her is true, then she won't blame you. Especially since it is not your fault."

Elrond turned slightly towards him and just looked at Maglor for a while, unable to believe that he was really there.

His thoughts briefly wandered to everything Celebrían and he had been through. Together.

"Maybe you're right. I - I go, in a few days - "

But Maglor shook his head. "I know you, Elrond. Do not put this off, or it will only make you more upset."

He wrapped an arm around Elrond and gently pulled him into a sitting position. "You can do this, Yonya. I know you can." Then he placed a hand on Elrond's chest, just above his heart. "And I'm sure deep inside you, you know you can, too."

~•~

Celebrían was even prettier than he remembered her. A memory was only ever half as good.

Her hair glittered in the sunlight as if it was made of precious jewels and her eyes were so full of love that Elrond wasn't sure if he hadn't just fallen in love with her all over again.

"Dearest Elrond," she said joyfully when she saw him, tears of joy welling up in her beautiful eyes.

He wanted to answer, so much, but a lump had formed in his throat. She would lose her joy if he told her that he hadn't managed to bring Arwen with him.

Or perhaps she already knew, and her joy at seeing him would be short-lived and would soon turn to disappointment.

Elrond felt his knees trembling and he looked around desperately for something to hold on to. But it was in vain, for they were in a meadow, far away from buildings or trees that could have served as support.

The last time he had felt so helpless was when Maglor and Maedhros had sent Elros and him away.

Without being able to prevent it, he sank to his knees before Celebrían had reached him. She stopped just right before him, arms outstretched, and it apparently took her a few seconds to realise what had happened.

She blurred before his eyes as he whispered softly, "I am so sorry." And finally all the tears that he had been holding back since he left Minas Tirith ran down his cheeks. His chest had always felt so tight, as if something had been trying to escape from it. He had lain awake at night because every fibre of his body seemed to worry.

He felt a hand under his chin, trying to get him to look up. He followed the movement and blinked away his tears as best he could.

Celebrían looked sad, but not in the way he had expected. "What are you apologising for?"

"Arwen." he said quietly, barely managing to hold her gaze as he said it.

Celebrían also sank to the ground and took his face in her hands. "It is not your fault. It is no one's fault that she made her own decision."

"But- " He sniffled and involuntarily pressed his face harder against her palms. "But I promised you I'd look after our children."

"But you did," she said softly, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. "Arwen chose her own happiness. You would only have hurt her if you had forced her to come with you. And I think you know that."

Yes, he knew it. He had always known it. From the moment the fellowship had set out from Rivendell, he had known it. Deep down, he had probably always known, but it still made him so sad. Of course he was happy that his daughter was happy. But being happy for her and actually feeling happy were just such different things. Being happy for her and knowing that he would never be happy with her again was so hard for him to understand at times that he preferred to bury himself in self-pity.

"I miss her, Elrond," Celebrían whispered. "But I am happy that she has found and chosen her own path."

Elrond nodded, unable to say anything because he was sure that if he opened his mouth, all that would come out would be a sob.

Celebrían leant forward a little so that Elrond's head was soon resting on her shoulder and she could wrap her arms tightly around him. "I do not blame you, because it is not your fault. You acted in Arwen's best interests and I do not see how that could be a mistake."

Elrond sobbed quietly and clung to Celebrían. "I love you so much," he whispered softly.

"Oh, I love you too, dearest." She kissed his hair. "I love you too."

[selfshipstorm]

Howdy Bear!!! You're so sweet!!! Thank you for your kind words on my Rebekah Moodboard and writing, it was so lovely to read ;-----;✨💙!!!! I still have to do one for my friendship with Klaus and of course, one for Elijah ;--;

I wanted to invite you to share any thoughts you've had about your platonic f/os recently! Please remember they love you so much and consider themselves lucky to be your friend ✨💙!!!

Moxie @tex-treasures

Please, your moodboards re so pretty and I will always be here to hype them- Can't wait to see the other two, not gonna lie

As far as your invitation, my thoughts have been on fall trying it's best to arrive, and what that would look like in the various friend groups i've pushed myself into.

Fall pushes into San Francisco, and all anyone really cares about is the snacks, and the fact that Halloween is just around the corner. I can say Sitara and I are most definitely going to be going from store to store to gather up all the fall themed snacks and apple cider we can get our hands on.

Fall arrives on Yara, and not much changes. This is the tropics, after all. However, Libertad is definitely celebrating the changing season, and Dani and I are definitely going to wind up driving all over the island to find decorations for the various groups to make their bases a little more festive.

Fall in Hawkins sees both my s/is playing babysitter to the party. Whether or not it's Steve and Rebecca fighting to wrangle the kids to go do something together as a group, or it's Dustin roping his sister into the party's spooky season pranks. On either side, I can see a hayride in our future. The whole nine yards, hayride, pumpkin picking, hot apple cider and donuts.

Fall in Hope County sees one of the few times that the resistance and the project call a truce. Any kids in the county are more than welcome to come for treats at the veteran's center and the compound. There will more than likely be a giant Halloween party thrown, which i'd end up helping Mary May prep for, because she knows I wouldn't mind helping. And if the Hope County Sheriff's Deputies are helping organize the pranks they're supposed to be trying to stop, that's somebody else's problem. ( Probably Sheriff Whitehorse. )

Fall is Astoria's favorite season. Once Astoria and I wind up in Mystic Falls, we have a little more of a chance to interact with the changing seasons, and there's a bunch of going out for coffee and enjoying the leaves changing around town, and there's definitely a lot of late nights watching all our favorite movies with a bunch of junk food.

Thanks for the ask!!

@tex-treasures

[sysig]

Two big softies(?) (Patreon)

[kyouka-supremacy]

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[megumi-fm]

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