#I love him being a bored gay dad

[pononoin]

Pcov Kyle finally accepting that he is gay after years of denial and the first thing he would do is put this bumper sticker on his car (it was the craziest, most unraveling thing he's done in years and he's thrilled)

[p4nishers]

i need content of codywan that just started working together like the first few months where their dynamic is cody barely resisting the urge to strangle his general and obi wan being like. already fucking head over heels for him.

like cody was expecting someone highly impressive based on his records so he obviously is excited to work with him cause his batchmates already met him on kamino and genosis and they all liked him which was, looking back, probably a prank on codys sanity and his bastard gremlin vode were absulately dying laughing at him. anyway so he obviously has high expectations and then this slutty "hello there" mf turns up with no self-preservation whatsoever, a feral demon child of a padawan, half the republic tailing him for every bullshit imaginable and beef with EVERY SINGLE SITH EVER???? WHICH HE SOLVES BY ???? FUCKING FLIRTING WITH THEM????? so you can imagine codys not having a great time.

meanwhile, obi wan daydreams about cody constantly. draws up their wedding invitations before even meeting him. praises him every opportunity he gets. kicks his feet and giggles about codys sarcastic comments ABOUT HIM while being in a room with CODY. stops talking in the middle of his sentence when he spots cody across the room and waves at him with the biggest smile possible. sets up regular sparring practices with the vode just so he MIGHT have an opportunity to be close to cody. labels the time when cody accidentally fell on him because of an explosion and touched his lips for 0.00001 milliseconds as their first kiss and gossips about it to quinlan. calls bant regularly to update her on everything cody does ever. buys every kind of tea and caf he can afford as an excuse to talk to cody and go into his courters. flirts with cody 24/7 and blushes tomato red when cody smirks at him and thinks about it so much he constantly walks into walls and tables and chairs and shinies and. breaks a table after cody stubs his toe into it. passes the fuck out when cody carries him this one (1) time, not bc of blood loss or anything simply too much attraction. constantly searches the force for codys signature even when they're not in the same system. calls him disgustingly sappy petnames in every other sentence. corners all of codys batchmates and asks thousands of questions about cody bc he cannot get them out of the man for the life of him and yes, wolffe, he absulately will die without knowing codys favorite color what kind of question is that. cody smiles once a month and obi wan thanks him everytime. cody hands him back his lightsaber for the first time and he proposes, loudly, cody ignores him completely and walks away. convinces anakin and ahsoka to drop "subtle" hints that he would be a good husband.

and everyone around them is having the time of their life watching codys right eye twitch whenever he's in a room with kenobi long enough while the man himself doesn't take his eyes off the commander during the entire 4 hour meeting and blushes everytime cody looks at him without a fail. cody barely refrains from throwing his datapad at his general when he suggests some self-sacrificing bullshit again.

it's truly like:

obi wan, beaming and eyes possibly gleaming with adoration: hello there, cody. how are you today?

cody, grinding his teeth together: fine, sir. wanted to talk to you about this report cause it's seems to be mistaken. surely, you're not thinking of blowing yourself up just so that TWO man, who are not even in any immediate danger whatsoever, can escape. right?

obi wan, brightening even further bc he loves their daily "banter": oh but of course, my dear, they're valuable men and anyway, i promised anakin he'd get to use the explosives this time.

cody, right eye starting to twitch horribly: right, of course, stupid of me to ask. one more thing, general, you wouldn't decommission me for anything i do, would you, sir ?

obi wan: what– darling, of course not. why would you–

cody: alright then [punches obi wan then walks away]

obi wan:

obi wan: i'm so in love with that man.

it's said that to this day obi wan still giggles in the most inappropriate times about that punch because cody was SO HANDSOME YOU DONT GET IT MACE THE LIGHT HIT HIM JUST RIGHT AND–

anyway codys hatred lasts till obi wan saves rex by putting himself in danger and when they get back, both bruised and bloody but amazingly alive and obi wan smiles at him like he always does with rex draped across his scarred shoulder, something in cody just settles and thinks. oh. oh. so this is what bly was talking about.

[our-aroace-experience]

My mom is approaching 70 and is in what I can only describe as a Queer Platonic Relationship. My whole life my mom has been ambivalent about romance, and I suspect that if she were young today she’d describe herself as aro. She and my dad were happily married before he passed away, but even so, I don’t really have memories of them being over romantic. Their friends and and family didn’t believe them at first when they announced their marriage (when she was 36!) bc they “didn’t act like a couple”. They worked well as partners and both wanted kids, but there was always something different about their relationship compared to the relationships of my friends’ parents. Since my dad’s death she has shown zero interest in getting remarried and has been happily single for more than a decade.

My mom has an incredibly full life. She’s got lots of friends of all ages, fulfilling hobbies, and a shitty little dog that she loves to pieces. I never worry about her being bored and lonely.

She has this neighbor in her apartment building. They help each other out the way couples do with tasks like grocery shopping, attending family events together, and they co parent the shitty little dog, but she swears up and down that there’s nothing romantic between them. They help each other with medication, hospital visits, and navigating the scary changes of getting old together. She and my grandpa used to argue about her getting remarried to this neighbor bc he didn’t want her to be “lonely”. My mom insisted that she’s not lonely and the relationship was not romantic. There’s love and companionship, but it’s “not like that”.

Back when I started to show interest in dating as a teen my mom was so confused. “You actually want to go on dates? My mom used to force me to date and I hated it.” When I came out as gay as an adult she was like “That’s cool. I still don’t get why you wanna date people.”

My dad once told me a story about how early in their marriage, my mom once accidentally “dated” a different man without realizing that he was taking her out on dates. From her perspective she just was having fun outings with a friend. When the guy “came clean” and told my dad “I’m dating your wife” he just laughed because my mom had been excitedly telling him all about their “dates”. She missed every single clue that this guy had been laying down for her that he was interested. “He invited me to have breakfast on his boat! I’m so excited for the birdwatching that time of day!” (My mom also might be a little autistic but that’s neither here nor there). She just is not a romantically inclined thinker.

I love my mom very much and I’m so lucky to have her as a role model. She’s taught me that happiness is extremely versatile. You don’t have to follow a traditional set route for a complete life with meaningful relationships. Romance is a social construct as much as anything, and you are free to engage with it on your own terms. Don’t be afraid to live and love the way you want to. Your life will be fuller and happier for it.

I’m so happy you’ve had a positive experience, and your mum sounds lovely!

[inkskinned]

she's three years younger than i am, and i put on cascada as a throwback, cackling - before your time! i've been borrowing my brother's car, and it's older than dirt, so the trunk is like, maybe permanently locked. when the sun comes through the window to frame her cheekbones, i feel like i'm 16 again. i shake when i'm kissing her, worried i won't get it right.

in 2003, my state made gay marriage legal. where she grew up, it wasn't legal until 11 years later - 10 years ago. if legal protections for gay marriage were a person, that person would be entering 5th grade. online, a white gay man calls the fight for legal marriage boring, which isn't kind of him but it is a common enough opinion.

it has only been 9 years since gay marriage was nationally official. it is already boring to have gay people in your tv. it is already boring to mention being gay - "why make it your entire personality?" i know siblings that have a larger age gap than the amount of time it's been legally protected. i recently saw a grown man record himself crying about how evil gay people are. he was begging us, red in the face - just do better.

i am absolutely ruined any time my girlfriend talks about being 27 (i know!! a child!), but we actually attended undergrad at the same time since i had taken off time to work between high school and college. while walking through the city, we drop our hands, try not to look too often at each other. the other day i went to an open mic in a basement. the headlining comedian said being lesbian isn't interesting, but i am a lesbian, if you care. as a joke, she had any lesbian raise their hand if present. i raised mine, weirdly embarrassed at being the single hand in a sea of other faces. she had everyone give me a round of applause. i felt something between pride and also throwing up.

sometimes one thing is also another thing. i keep thinking about my uncle. he died in the hospital without his husband of 35 years - they were not legally wed, so his husband could not enter. this sounds like it should be from 1950. it happened in 2007. harassment and abuse and financial hardship still follow any person who is trying to get married while disabled. marriage equality isn't really equal yet.

and i don't know that i can ever put a name to what i'm experiencing. sometimes it just feels... so odd to watch the balance. people are fundamentally uninterested in your identity, but also - like, there's a whole fucking bastion of rabid men and women who want to kill you. your friends roll their eyes you're gay we get it and that is funny but like. when you asked your father do you still love me? he just said go to your room. you haven't told your grandmother. disney is on their 390th "first" gay representation, but also cancelled owl house and censored the fuck out of gravity falls. you actively got bullied for being gay, but your advisor told you to find a different gimmick for your college essay - everyone says they're gay these days.

once while you were having a hard day you cried about the fact that the reason our story is so fucking boring to so many people is that it is so similar. that it is rare for one of us to just, like, have a good experience across the board. that our stories often have very parallel bends - the dehumanization, the trauma, the trouble with trusting again. these become rote instead of disgusting. how bad could it be if it is happening to so many people?

i kiss my girlfriend when nobody is looking. i like her jawline and how her hands splay when she's making a joke. there is nothing new about this story, sappho. i love her like opening up the sun. like folding peace between the layers of my life, a buttercream of euphoria, freckles and laughter and wonder.

my dad knows about her. i've been out to him since i was 18 - roughly four years before the supreme court would protect us. the other day he flipped down the sun visor while driving me to the eye doctor. "you need to accept that your body was made for a husband. you want to be a mother because you were made for men, not women." he wants me to date my old high school boyfriend. i gagged about it, and he shook his head. he said - "don't be so dramatic. you can get used to anything."

the other day a straight friend of mine snorted down her nose about it, accidentally echoing him - she said there are bigger problems in this world than planning a wedding.

[bruciemilf]

AU where Thomas and Martha don't die, but Batman's still a thing!

Instead of Bruce becoming Batman, its Thomas. He's already a huge help to the city, so this nocturnal passion is for sport.

If it wasn't obvious enough, he's not the most stable guy. But he's a loving dad and exemplary husband, so it's mostly fine.

God forbid men have hobbies.

He specifically picked up a bat theme to hopefully cure Bruce of his fear! Just imagine that 6'5 error of nature cladded in black, claws with his costume cause he's sexy like that,

"See? I'm not scary at all!" But Bruce is already sobbing and hiding behind Alfred.

"Martha, you'll never guess who I saw on patrol tonight. Bruce's college roomate! The blonde one with the glasses and gay vibes. "

" Oliver?"

"Oliver who?"

" Queen?"

" Well! I think that fits you better, amore."

" Bruce's childhood friend? Known eachother since infancy? Came to you for tech?"

"Bruce had FRIENDS?"

Bruce, from the other room, " Her name is Harley! You paid her college tuition and killed her dad."

" I've never met her in my life, and i keep my kill list detailed.Anyway, I adopted her. Shes seeing that clown boy and I think his superpower is boring me to death."

The batkids still get taken in, of course. Bruce is already a full adult and outgrew his Robin costume. He just barges in with a feral Jason and Dick, " Look, Brucie! Papa's got brothers for you!"

But Bruce? Looks at these two snarling kids, kicking, thrashing, clawing, and takes them in his arms, " Babies. My babies."

" Uh... Come again,,-" But Thomas raised a spoiled BRAT, so Bruce definetly bites him and throws a tantrum until he agrees to pass full custody. Naturally, Alfred and Martha have no sympathy.

"But you're too young to be a dad!"

" I'm 27."

" Young. A fetus. Cousin Gomez's newborn is older than you." Bruce is already drawing the adoption papers. Fight him about it.

Naturally, instead of dating his rogues, Thomas parents them. Imagine you're Selina Kyle and Batman scolds you for getting caught by the cops, " You know better. Villain privileges REVOKED."

Mr Freeze? Thomas gets it. Do what you gotta do, King. You need some pocket money?

Khoa? Problematic son. Thomas adores him and brags about him to every family reunion. "Your daughter tried to poison you for inheritance? That's adorable, Agatha. Khoa kidnapped Alfred last week. Beat that."

Ivy? Thomas invites her to beer and game night and plays matchmaker with her and Harley.

Waylon is his favourite. Naturally, he's the only one adopted legally.

He fist fights Ra's for Talia's custody and she is desperately shoving Damian in his face. Trust her. You don't want to go through with it.

the image of Batman not being a broody, stoic vigilante and instead Gomez Addams with a cape makes me weep

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

If you are a movie fan and haven't read the book yet, here are some irrelevant details from the book

Henry owns a cardigan

Arthur and Catherine meet on a Henry V play (which they named Henry after), which Catherine went to see and saw Arthur playing. She "shook off her security to disappear into London and dance all night".

Pez listens to kpop, and he got Alex into it

Nora watches drag race and got Henry into it

Henry is an Elton John fan (actually relevant in the book)

Alex is a Hall & Oates fan

Alex wears glasses (actually relevant in the book)

Henry is described by Alex as having lots of moles

Bea is the rockstar girlfriend, at the end of the book she plays on a concert and everything. She plays the guitar and is always wearing a leather jacket. She also has a fat cat called Mr Wobbles. And the queen wanted her to learn violin “since it was more proper” instead of guitar. “Bea was allowed to learn both, but she went to uni for classical violin.”

During the turkey phonecall, Henry is wearing a peely face mask

Amy is trans and has a pansexual wife

(Actually relevant) Catherine was not off in another country the whole story, just battling intense grief for her husband's death, so she wasn't present in her children's life, so they felt as if they lost both parents.

There's no king, she's actually a queen, her name is Mary and she should die (she's so so much worse on the book than the king is on the movie)

David is a service dog

(Actually relevant in the book) June bought a teen magazine at 15 and 13 year old Alex would sneak into her room to stare at the magazine (and the picture of a blonde 14 year old British prince on it).

Bea is the middle kid, Henry is the youngest

Henry is canonically on therapy and on antidepressants (since the start of the book)

I don't remember if they mentioned it on the movie but Arthur was James Bond and died of pancreatic cancer.

Alex’s favorite Olympic sport is rhythmic gymnastics

Bea had an addiction problem when Henry was about 17 (as a way to cope after their father's death) and only got herself into rehab after Henry went to her and started crying about dad was dead and he was gay and scared so she couldn't kill herself. That's how he came out to her

Alex doesn't wanna be president at the end of the book, he starts law school

Henry favourite star wars is Jedi, Alex's is Empire

June is allergic to peanuts

Alex runs and runs to cope and clear his head

He did not know he was bi until after Henry kissed him. Yes, he had a friend with benefits relationship with his high school friend Liam, but he genuinely thought it was perfectly platonic and straight

Also he doesn't keep on touch with Liam after high school (their friendship just slowly fades away, with living so far and Alex being suddenly famous) but they reconnect at the end

Alex and Henry move in together on a brownstone on Brooklyn, eventually they marry (after Henry abdicates) on the lake house, they move to a farmhouse on Austin, they spend their honeymoon unpacking

Pez is lactose intolerant

Bluebonnet is June’s code name, Barracuda is Alex’s

Henry is a big Austen fan, and makes references to her books through the story

Amy knits

Zahra has a sister who recently had a baby

June forced Alex into dresses as a kid

Henry’s favorite food is a cheap falafel stand ten minutes from the palace

Henry really likes sailing

Shaan has a motorbike

Alex is allergic to dust

Henry keeps a copy of Le Monde, the newspaper from the day they were in Paris, on his room

Alex and Nora dated when Alex was 17 and Nora 18 but realized they were definitely better off as friends. When they are bored, they like to create rumors about their relationship

Alex makes tons of lists to organize

Alex wears chinos, and claims kakhis are for white people

Nora is very good at math

Alex grew up catholic

At the end of their e-mails, Alex and Henry quoted historical lgbt love letters

Nora’s one-bedroom is “full of books and plants she tends to with complex spreadsheets of watering schedules.”

Nora is bisexual and on the aro spectrum (not canon on the book than she’s aro, but Casey did mention it somewhere)

Arthur gifted Henry a telescope for his seventh birthday

The karaoke scene happens not while on Texas but in some club full of queer people. The whole group is there, Pez got them matching kimonos. Alex’s says Hoe Dameron, Henry’s says Prince Buttercup. Aside from Henry singing Don’t Stop Me Now, Bea sings Call Me by Blondie, and Pez sings So Emotional by Whitney Houston in a “shockingly flawless falsetto”.

The lakehouse confessions happens while at night

The Kensington fight (after the lakehouse confession) is much more dramatic, they don’t go to the v&a that night, but the next night. That morning Henry got up early, and brought Alex coffee when he woke up. They made up.

Also Alex takes his coffee with cinnamon

Alex, Nora and Henry are gen z, while June is a millennial

[southparktexts]

hi bby! saw ur reqs are open and ur inbox in empty!! so lemme get main three with a makeup gf who wants to do their makeup/skincare :3

AAAA OMG ITS BAE !!! HII BABE ABSOLUTELY YOU ANGEL !!

Doing Makeup on the Main 3

stan;

- okay, you know that episode where stan has a band and he plays a song abt him hating living on a farm?

- if you get it you get it

- you unironically already do his makeup for him

- but not full face though

- you help him with eyeliner on his under eyes

- i can see you bringing up the subject

- one day you were hanging in your room

- stan resting his head on your lap as you play with his hair silently

- eventually you got bored.

“stannnn can i do your makeup?”

“..why? im not performing anytime soon.”

“please..?”

“..fine”

- okay some headcannons time

- you do his makeup on his lap

- you’re doing concealer and he’s rambling to you about a fight with his dad.

- actually kinda stress relieving to him.

- i can see him as a cautious boyfriend when you do his foundation.

“ah- not the eyes..”

“careful.. the beanie..”

- also will slightly regret it..

“this is so gay.. you’re lucky i love you.”

- he doesn’t want to admit that he loves it.

- after you’ve cooked you show him and he gives you a ‘good job’ nod and kisses your forehead.

“..okay get this off me.”

kyle ;

- hear me out, kyles always had a fascination with makeup.

- i can see kyle watching his mom do her makeup and just being so interested.

- naturally, he was curious to see what he would look like with makeup.

- one day he was over at your house, you guys had a date planned in a few hours and you were doing your makeup

- kyle being kyle he watched, noticing how you grew more and more frustrated with your eyeliner.

- wiping it off with a q-tip aggressively.

- he continued watching as he thought to himself

- ‘if only she had someone to practice on..”

- he turned out to be the perfect person.

- he wrapped his arms around you and kissed your cheeks.

“do you wanna practice on me, love?”

“wait.. really?”

- the way your eyes light up, it made him want to ask that question all the time just to see your reaction again and again.

- while you’re doing his makeup he’ll ask you questions.

“soo is this.. blush..?”

“no baby this is concealer”

“oh.. what does that do?”

- he actually was interested and learnt a lot from you

“so now we’re going to use some setting spray.”

“oh i think my mom uses that!”

- off topic but he definitely remembers your shade and buys you makeup pallets and new products.

kenny;

- okay. okay. LET ME COOK.

- so as a juggalo myself, juggalos have events called ‘gathering of the juggalos’

- kenny and you were conveniently going to this event.

- as an icp fan its important to have the iconic black and white clown makeup!

- although you and your boyfriend were over at your house getting ready.

- when you saw kenny using bad drugstore makeup to do his clown face.

“uh.. ken?”

“yea hun?”

“do you want me to do that for you?”

“sure darl’”

- you had to scrub that shit off his face but it was so worth it.

- in the middle of you doing the white foundation you had just done prior on his face he’ll lean in a kiss you

“kennn!! no kisses”

“sorry doll, can’t help it.”

- the most laidback of all the boys

- will randomly kiss you all over

- but he doesn’t stay still when you’re doing the clown features in black.

- after your done cooking, you show him in the mirror.

- he does some silly poses, making you laugh and kisses your forehead.

“i love it my little juggalette”

“i love you to my juggalo”

reqs are open !! also i cooked wtf??

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Prompts Tour, which affords me the opportunity to be supremely self-indulgent]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) 13: laugh (14) (15) (16) (17)

Is this still the number for John Watson?

John pauses, thumb hovering. Before he can choose a response, another message flashes in.

It's Harry

He nearly drops the phone. Or maybe he nearly throws it against the wall. Hard to say. 

His reflex to caretake wars with his lingering resentment of her absence. But he knows he would regret ignoring an olive branch… or whatever this is.

Hi

Everything okay?

No small talk, got it

Yes I'm fine, good in fact

and no I'm not going to ask you for money

He breathes in deeply.

I'm glad things are going well for you

And he is, at least in the abstract.

Thanks

I know this is the part where I'm supposed to ask how you are

But you know I'm pants at texting

Can we just have coffee or something?

John taps his phone to his lip absently and considers his options. A public reunion seems like it could be a volatile mistake, not to mention it's 7pm on a weekday. Sherlock is at the lab, Rosie is having her after-supper blanket time, and John is catching up on charting.

And to be honest, he's pretty bored.

Come to mine for tea?

Harry's three dots wibble for a while, which John supposes is fair.

Right now?

With my schedule, I have to take opportunities where I can

Okay, yeah, I'm free

He sends her the address, feeling both pleased and annoyed. One would think that hitting his own rock bottom would make him more sympathetic towards his sister. But really, it just piles helpless anger on top of guilt on top of anger, ad nauseum.

He's not even sure she knows he's a father, for Christ's sake.

Turns out, she doesn't. She walks through the door he holds open for her, and stops abruptly when she sees Rosie. 'Oh my God,' she breathes, staring. 'Oh my God. You--' She turns to John, eyes wide. 'She-- Johnny. She's yours?'

He nods, and despite everything, he feels his face curve into a proud smile. 'Her name's Rosie.'

'Can I--' Harry indicates the blanket with a sharp movement. 'Can I say hello to her?'

'Yeah, course.' He follows her, and folds himself down behind Rosie. 'Sweetheart, this is your Aunt Harry.'

Harry makes a bit of a squawking noise, probably at the 'aunt' bit, but tamps it down. 'Hi, Rosie,' she manages, her voice rough but determined. 'It's lovely to meet you. What are you playing with?'

'Avocados,' Rosie mostly manages to say, then holds one up for Harry without hesitation. Harry takes it with a giggle, and before long they're thick as thieves with a pile of emoting avocados between them.

Harry glances up at him when there's a lull. 'So. The dad life is treating you well, yeah?'

He hesitates, then nods. 'It is now.'

She eyes him, but doesn't ask about what came before now. Instead, she says, 'I'm just going to ask, alright -- who's the other parent?'

He raises an eyebrow. 'Why d'you say there is one?'

Her eyes twinkle. 'Because you do not have the fashion sense to have bought her this outfit. Your bird rich, then?'

He coughs. 'Well. No.'

She waits, though he can see she's trying not to be annoyed by his reticence. She's never understood people wanting to keep things private. 'No?'

'My… flatmate. He's able to buy her things I don't give a toss about, yeah.'

She blinks. 'You have a gay flatmate?'

John feels his ears heat up. 'I do, yeah.'

She seems weirdly impressed. 'You've come a long way from being a rugby lad, haven't you?'

He snorts. 'I'm learning how to do plaits, if you'll believe it.'

'She's not got enough hair for that yet.'

'Sherlock--the flatmate--insists it's a useful skill, though I've no idea why.'

She doesn't reply, and he looks up from where he's helping Rosie with her current avocado. 'What?' he asks, though he knows it's useless. Harry is no Sherlock but honestly, she doesn't have to be, because his emotions have always been written all over his face. It's a curse and a blessing.

'Oh holy shit,' she breathes out.

'Language,' he admonishes reflexively.

'Sorry, I mean-- Holy noses, Johnny.'

'Don't be smug.'

'Oh, I take no credit for this, I always knew the overcompensating locker room talk was hiding something.'

He rolls his eyes, but his lips are twitching. 'Yeah, insecurity about willy size.'

'Okay, ew, first of all. Second of all-- What the--' He gives her a warning look. 'Ever-loving heck.'

'Short version?' She nods quickly. He decides to also give her the slightly-less-mad-sounding version. 'Got married, got pregnant, had baby, wife passed away, realised I had feelings for my flatmate. Who is a man. And who is effectively fathering my child.'

She claps her hand over her mouth, and for a moment he fears she's going to cry, but then realises she's laughing.

'Oi, that's just not on,' he protests.

'But it's ridiculous!' She holds out a hand to him placatingly, speaking through continued laughter. 'It's lovely and sad and all that, but you have to admit--'

There are tears escaping the corners of her eyes, and he feels it begin to bubble up in his chest, too. Her laugh has always been a thing of beauty, of loud, annoying, contagious, unforgettable beauty, and he can't help it.

And she's right, really. It is kind of ridiculous.

He lets out his own laugh, finally, and reaches for her hand.

[❤️]

[teddie-bear420]

CHARLIE AND VIVA

The princess of hell and her trusty knight are on a mission to save sinners souls!

Doodles and rambles under the cut, and I mean like walls of text

be aware I make shit up a lot, I was very high on drugs and gay sex

Welcome to the show I’ve made in my head, ok where to begin? I guess with how boring I find Charlie nd vaggie in the show proper, I like them, they just don’t have any real spice to them. Charlie is a just a girl, she has no real friends and just surrounds herself with others problems. Check out the beginning of episode four, husk just says that out loud, we saw it once with angel dust and then they totally drop it for the rest of the show. I wanted to see Charlie fail and get back up again, but we don’t see that! Idk maybe I want more out of the text but I hated to see Charlie act like a baby, not a young woman, I makes me so mad that she isn’t really friends with anyone, no fun dynamics, Charlie kinda just looks at her guests and ‘employees’ but she never sees them. I mean like give me some bff moments with Charlie, she has no friends, she a loser baby!

Vaggie is the best better at making friends, and enemies honestly she is the second protagonist. I hated her until I saw her fuck ass bob. I fell in love

Ok so I made a prequel hazbin design that I just fell in love with, here she is. Ok so girls is bugs, vaggie is a moth and lute is a mantis, they grew up together in heaven. Being raised to be an exorcist was pretty sweet except for the military indoctrination!

Wonderful lute convo here

So vaggie is now in hell and is saved by Charlie, who believes that vag is a sinner. Eventually they get together romantically and start working on the happy hotel project, then they get angle dust as a guest. You know the deal, but how did vag get with Charlie? Who asked who out? I love how loyal vaggie is to Charlie but WHY is she so loyal? I think because Charlie wanted to ask about vaggies life and she took the opportunity to become a new person !

I think having char be the ray of sunshine in such a violent place attracts the lost and broken to her is cool. Vaggie tells ridiculous lies about her human life like being ran over by a horse. And being a pirate captain. Vaggies colors go from green to purple, aesthetic goes from Joan of arc lesbian to a captain Ching Shih lesbian yknow what I mean?

Charlie is taken in with this eccentric woman and befriends her. And also when Charlie and vaggie start to get closer char gifts her the red ribbon that vaggie wears all the time. The pink red is Charlies color and it sticks to all of her friends! Like when angel and Charlie get really close she gifts him the hot pink gloves and he wears them for the duration of the show. (I’ll write about that in another post lol)

MY CHARLIE loves to feed people food she’s made, so she just keeps feeding vaggie and the she starts to beef up, buff 5’4 vaggie lets gooooo. They cook food together and help sinners together. I forgot to mention that Charlie in my perfect world does actual charity work, she works down at the soup kitchen and cleans up the parks and gives people work, Charlie is just constantly busy and never gives herself a day off. Vaggie does her best to help while constantly working on her prodigious.

These girls also work at the local theater! They do a lot of dress up! And i really liked the idea that Charlie is astanged from her dad and is no contact with him. So she isn’t some princess that’s throwing money at the poor. She builds her own motel for the happy hotel project so that when it is destroyed they can build the hotel proper and have an actual emotional impact.

A little comic I sketched of out, Charlie was calling her dad for help with the hotel but he completely shuts her down and calls her idea dumb, I liked when Lucifer was a shitty dad that called Charlie a failure, instead of some sad loser who forgets to call his daughter, like I have a shitty dad and he tore down lots of my ideas and then is confused when I don’t talk to him.

Like idk how there are so many characters with daddy issues but they all are poorly written…

What else is there? Ermmm, I suppose I like Charlie as a demon that looks the most human out of the cast, like sure she has clown makeup as skin but giving her round ears and a demon tail looks super cute. And in the first few episodes Charlie hides her tail and uses it as a belt, and as a show of faith she reveals her tail to the hazbin gang!

[stuffyouwantedtosaybutneverdid]

Let me get on my soap box

I’m so tired of this narrative that people seem to have nowadays where it’s a problem if you love a flawed character. That’s what makes them interesting! And what person do you know that doesn’t have flaws!

Specifically tired of this anti Stolas discourse. Did he technically cheat on his wife? Sure. But being forced into a heterosexual marriage when he is clearly gay and being abused verbally and physically by his wife pushed him to his limit. Stolas went his entire life without someone to love romantically and all he had were his books. Books that were romantic and sultry and definitely influenced his reaction to seeing Blitzø again. Blitzø awoke a side to him that had been suppressed his entire life and perhaps he acted rashly but who wouldn’t after 35+ years?

I’ve also seen people say he’s not a good father. Literally where? Ask anyone who doesn’t have a good relationship with their dad, I would love to have the relationship that Stolas and Octavia have. He sheltered her from the abuse that Stella gave him. He was attentive and caring and loved her unconditionally. Just because he finally stood up for himself and decided to get divorced from his abuser doesn’t make him a bad father.

Then there’s the discourse about him having a deal with Blitzø every month. Could he have gone about this a better way? Sure. But think about what he’s been through! He doesn’t know how to be close to anyone romantically. His own parents didn’t teach him, no one was there to guide him. Also remember in the first episode how Stolas proposed the meet ups Blitzø replied with very little acknowledgement. He could have denied it and you can bet Stolas would have still let him use the Grimoire because he’s desperate for connection. Remember that Blitzø had been using it for some time before the proposition was even made. Stolas just didn’t know how to go about getting closer to Blitzø and that was the only way he thought he could make it happen. Yes, technically there is a power imbalance between them but it’s so clear that Stolas doesn’t see it that way. And obviously Blitzø has some feelings that there is that imbalance but that’s why they need to sit down and talk and realize they both feel the same way about one another.

It’s okay that characters are flawed and complicated. That’s what makes them interesting and relatable. Feeling like everyone should only like the “moral” and uncorrupted characters is outrageous and unrealistic and just plain boring.

[ystrike1]

Dear, Teddy Bear - By Pisangu (5/10)

This author is trying to be smart, but it's not working. Everything is too obvious. The mystery is spoiled in chapter one. The guy the yandere is obsessed with is a boring, popular, cute guy. Taboo does not equal flavor, and the art is basic.

Minhyung is a crazy yandere kid.

He was also extremely lucky.

Two loving gay parents adopted him, and this little crapshoot decides to ruin both of their lives. It's so clear that both of his dads are nice, but he immediately falls into obsessive love with the cute and boring dad. He kills kind and handsome dad ONLY because of that. ONLY for selfish reasons.

I really want to feel bad for Lee Jae. I do. He really loved his husband. He really wanted to treat his adopted kid right. He's a good dude. He's cute and popular. He kinda lived a selfish life. His husband spoiled him a little.

Minhyung pushes the competition off a cliff, and Lee Jae becomes even more spoiled. He starts relying on his son????? I know he's traumatized. I know he was sheltered, but he is a grown man and Minhyung is a child. Lee Jae is stupidly naive and trusting. Minhyung is clearly a weirdo who is too obsessed with staying at home with his remaining living dad.

Minhyung grows up handsome and Lee Jae doesn't encourage him to become independent. It's really, really screwed up actually. Lee Jae calls Minhyung constantly because he's afraid his adopted son will randomly die too, and he'll be alone.

Minhyung encourages this fear but AGAIN Lee Jae is an adult. Minhyung is being really obvious and unhealthy. An adult with a brain would have set boundaries.

Minhyung starts treating Lee Jae like a child. Like the child. Like he's the parent and his adopted dad is the spoiled and dependent kid. It's icky. It's ew. Minhyung is a clear yandere, but it's sad instead of hot.

Minhyung has a Lee Jae shrine in his room. IN THE FAMILY HOUSE. Lee Jae is so dumb and naive its just annoying I'm sorry. Sorry your husband died but you suck and you exist to be a cute victim.

Seriously the shrine being in the shared house right out in the open makes Lee Jae look brain dead. Like??? You never go in your son's room ever??????

Hyeon ho is a hotel director. He wants to date Lee Jae because he's....cute...no other reason. Lee Jae is supposed to be an older man with an adult child and trauma. He still has nightmares about his dead husband. Honestly, if Lee Jae LOOKED like an older man this story would be so much better. But no he's a super skinny uwu boy model with perfect skin. If he had wrinkles and idk some brain cells the yandere aspect would be much scarier, but no. Lee Jae is so hot and popular that all of the obsessed guys don't love HIM. Just his cuteness and innocence and overall perfect appearance. Which is really jarring because he's supposed to be in his thirties.

Also.

He was mad.

Minhyung apparently tried to flirt before. Soon after daddy competition died. Lee Jae lost it, and apparently he slapped Minhyung. Tried to beat him for DARING to say that he could easily replace the love that was lost.

That's interesting!!!

But its a flashback!!!!

And in the current story Lee Jae literally acts like a clueless high schooler that can't function if Minhyung isn't coddling him.

I know Minhyung planned that. Encouraged that, but that one flashback is the only interesting part of their relationship. Minhyung boldly tried to step in, and Lee Jae had the balls to turn against him. Now he doesn't. Now he's just an uwu old man that looks like a high schooler participating in emotional ince**.

[tainted-red]

Careful.

Part one.

TWS: Smut, Language, Dub con, Threesum.

Summary: Y/n and her best friends have to share a room for a school trip.

Gosh you loved your friends.

If some guy wouldn't take a hint, Your friends would beat his ass. If you felt sad, Your friends would comfort you. If you were bored, your friends would entertain you.

They cared about you more than your parents.

Sure you were the girl of the group. But it didn't matter to them. They would still fight you, your losing was inedible. They talked to you about girl shit, and you gave them good advice.

You were currently on a boat and you and the whole school would taking the a boat to Mexico for a special school trip. Something about the school grade having all student get up to 90%.

You get to share a room with your best friend's.

Rafe Cameron your best friend since middle school. He bought you a slice of pizza since you had no lunch, and ever since then you became besties.

He was the relaxed one, didn't care about any girl besides you. If you need someone to watch a movie with, he's your guy.

Kelce Leroy, you met him in your homeroom in grade 9, he worked with you on a project with Rafe, and you all became a group since then.

He was the more fun one, always on your hip about letting loose. Being cool.

Topper Thorton, you met him at summer camp in grade six. You became close because he picked up all your period products in grade 6.

A bunch of boys thought it would be funny to go through your bag, they through around your pads and embarrassed you. Making you cry. Topper picked up all your stuff and comforted you.

He was the more caring one. Always saying you can talk to him if you need to. He was basically the mom of the group or dad.

It was perfect cause you were the more rebellious one. Always trying to start something.

Kelce cheering you on, Rafe laughing on the side, and topper trying to stop it.

You are a kook. They liked that, more like Rafe did.

You were currently sitting with Rafe and Kelce as Toppee fetched you some drinks.

“I think I'm gonna ask Jj out” You decide “No, he's a pogue Y/n” Rafe rolled his eyes.

“So what. I'm tired of these stupid restrictions you make. He's nice and hot” You giggle.

“He's dirty as well as his Pogue friends. But Rafe didn't you kiss Kiara in like 9th grade?” Kelce reminds us.

“Oh yeah, I remember. Everyone thought you were weird cause she was two years younger” You laugh with Kelce.

“You dared me to” Rafe remarks.

“Cause she was in love with you, Sarah told me” You shrug.

Topper finally returns to us “here I got diet coke y/n, Sprite for Kelce and Water for Rafe” Topper said handing his stuff when he said our names.

We all thanked Topper.

“They said we will be in Mexico in like an hour from now, Mrs trench said were all sharing a room In the hotel” you told them.

“Two beds” you added.

“I ain't sharing a bed with you guys that's gay” Kelce fake gagged.

“Don't be homophobic. I have to share a bed with one of you guys, so I'm the one losing here” you scoff.

“Nose goes” Kelce shouts as he puts his finger on his nose, the other guys doing it as well.

Rafe doing it last “Hah you two have to share a bed” Kelce laughed.

You slapped him lightly on the chest.

“Why don't you guys just do something fair? Or sleep in a different room” You suggest.

“Mr. Kenneth said if he says anyone sneaking around there expelled” Topper buds in.

“How about we race” Rafe proposes to the boys.

“Why don't I have a choice in this? It's my personal space” you argue.

They all turn to me “Fine, Y/n can pick” Rafe grunts.

“Whoever is nicest to me all day can” You establish.

“Easy” Topper chuckles.

Rafe grabs my coke and opens it for you “Would you like me to hold it for you while you drink, your highness” Rafe half-jokes.

“Yes, peasant” you giggle.

He lightly tilts your chin up, slowly pouring the cold liquid into your mouth.

He stops and lets go of me “thank you kind sir” you wink at him.

“Anything for you” Rafe clicks his tongue.

“Would you like me to spit in your mouth? What the fuck was that guys? So sexual” Kelce lets out a deep chuckle.

“Watch it” Rafe warns him.

“Yes daddy” Kelce fake moans.

Causing us to laugh, besides Rafe.

Rafe leans towards my ear “if you don't fucking pick me ill ignore you for a while” Rafe gives notice to you.

He leans back out and smiles at everyone.

This is going to be a long trip.

“Anyways y/n, Kayla wants to talk to you. Something about her dead dog” Topper just now tells you.

You get up and smile at the boys “I'll be back. Next time tell me sooner” I look topper in the eyes “Yeah sorry” he apologises.

You pat him on the back as you walk away.

Hours have past now.

You and the guys were finally in the bedroom “So who is it y/n?” Topper asks, sitting on the bed beside you.

“Um I chose Rafe” You huff.

“Seriously, I gave you a foot massage y/n” Kelce shouts “Yeah and I carried you all day” Topper reminds me.

Standing up, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Sorry but Rafe did buy me that necklace” You shrug.

“Whatever. Mine as well suck his dick y/n” Kelce mutters.

“Fuck off. You have to share a bed with topper loser” you shout while fake laughing.

“That's it. I'm sleeping on the floor” Kelce sniffs.

“What's so bad about me” Topper asks.

“Nothing he just doesn't wanna” you shrug.

Rafe gets on the left side of the bed, laying down.

Kelce grabs a blanket and pillow and the remote.

Turning on sponge bob SquarePants.

You lay down beside Rafe facing him.

“Thank you y/n” He smiles at you, cupping your face “Thank you for the necklace. It's beautiful” You smile back.

He slowly leans in, lightly kissing your check.

Then kissing all over your head.

He started to playfully fight with you.

He pins you down and starts to tickle you, laughter screaming out of your mouth.

“Rafe- Stop- I can't breath” you wheeze.

He stops tickling you.

You catch your breath and somehow end up on top of him.

Attempting to tickle him “you forgot I'm not ticklish” Rafe licks his upper lip.

Placing his hands on your hips.

Slowly making you grind on him.

“Stop Rafe- we can get caught” You whisper.

“Let them watch” Rafe smirks.

Making you go faster.

Catching the eye of kelce “Ayo, what are you guys doing?” Kelce shouts while laughing.

Sure I made out with the guys sometimes. But usually nothing like this. I only once got to second base with Kelce. We were both very drunk.

“You guys having sex?” kelce asks, getting up.

Topper now turned over looking at us.

“No guys just having some fun” You laugh.

Rafe groaning beneath you.

“Let me join babe” Kelce jokes.

Suddenly Rafe tugs on your shirt. You take it off, throwing it on the floor.

Rafe smiles at your body. Getting harder under you.

“Oh shit. Real-life porn” Kelce laughs.

“Come here Kelce” You giggle.

Getting off Rafe.

Kelce sits on the bed and you push him down.

Taking off his shirt, crawling on top of him.

“Your so hot” kelce groans.

You kiss his stomach up to his neck, licking up to his ear lobe.

“Can I suck your dick in front of them” I whisper in his ear, lightly biting the lobe of his ear.

“Yes Miss” Kelce smirks.

You go on your knees in front of him.

Sliding his pants down, playing with the bulge in his boxers.

Rafe goes behind you and starts to kiss down your neck. Unclipping your bra.

“Can I fuck you y/n” Rafe asks.

“Yes” You moan as he dry humps you.

Rafe takes off his pants and slips off your shorts.

“Seriously, in front of me guys,” Topper complains.

“Come here then” you moan.

Topper quickly gets off the bed running to your side.

“How can I include you” You moan as Rafe snaps his hips into you.

You pull down kelce boxers. Stroking him slowly.

“Can I just watch? Maybe record” Topper requests.

“Fine” You groan.

You start to take kelce inside your mouth.

Topper gets his phone and starts to record “If you show anyone this ill fucking kill you topper” Rafe grunts.

“Yes I know, it's just for us” He smirks. Slowly jerking himself off.

You bob your head vastly for kelce, and grind on Rafe as he slams into you.

“I'm gonna cum” Kelce groans, gripping the bed sheets.

You felt him twitch in your mouth then liquid hit your throat.

You go slow letting him get off his high.

He gets up watching you swallow all of his cum.

“Gosh, you're so perfect y/n” Rafe hissed as he slams inside your pussy.

You felt your climax build up as he said that.

He starts to rub your clit in circular motion.

“Fuck Rafe- don't stop” You whimper.

You felt your legs go numb as you came all over him.

With a few more bucks he pulls out and cums all over your back.

Letting you catch your breath. Rafe then offers “Come on, we're gonna get you clean”.

He picks you up with the boys behind you.

Rafe runs the bath water and places you in it “Find some soap” Rafe demands.

Topper looks around and finds a little bottle of bubble bath, Rafe adds it to the water. Creating bubbles in the water.

“Thank you” You smile at Rafe “Get washed then we're gonna watch some movies order food and cuddle” Rafe lights up a candle.

Rafe made this all worth it.

[bbu-fan-blog]

Is there any kind of facts that you found about Aristotle?

I have some, yes!

Aristotle is Billie's mentor: decided to take up this task amazed on how much she is like her father, and out of the desire to relieve the glory days.

Aristotle goes by he/him and they/them, and is gay.

He and Arthur, for all intents and purposes, were married, just not in the traditional sense.

Aristotle's gem (yes, the purple brooch on his cape is one of the gems) is a magic booster.

This makes Aristotle REALLY powerful; but they're still an axolotl, which means that, despite their magic power, he gets easily hurt.

He's made a name for himself at Dutch's hotel, having tried so many ways to get the wolf's gem. That's why Dutch has wanted posters of the axolotl everywhere, making them enemies. Ari doesn't know which gem Dutch has.

Ironically, Ash ships them as an "enemies to lovers" kind of thing.

Katie and Ash want to include book extracts that Billie can collect during the game, and one of them is a book wrote by Aristotle and Arthur, titled "The ABCs of Magic Casting". This suggests the two of them wrote books about magic together.

And as you can see, they shared a last name together.

Aristotle likes eating worms.

The symbol on Ari's forehead is meant to be an infinity symbol. Specifically, it's meant to represent the iridophores that axolotls have on their skins, that create a sparkly effect when exposed to the light.

In the fandom he's officially known as "Rad Magic Dad"!

In the first concepts, Aristotle was supposed to be calmer and more reserved; the devs made him more akin to goofy yet fun dad since he came off as too boring. Also, apparently he used to be a crow before Ash officially made them an axolotl.

He also used to constantly float in a bubble.

On Mario Kart he'd choose Luigi because they'd feel sorry for him.

His favorite Halloween treat is chocolate covered crickets.

Aristotle is autistic, and he stims by swinging his hips from side to side while waddling the finger, and tends to walk by keeping his hands inwards.

When overwhelmed, he tucks at his gills as if they were hair.

Apparently one of the characters who inspired Aristotle was none other than Pikachu!

He's also inspired by game characters like E.Gadd from "Luigi's Mansion" and Toriel from "Undertale".

He's very talented in magic, and can make magic spheres he'll juggle with.

Apparently he's never met Barnaby.

He loves food and cooking; apparently the devs had in mind to have a cooking minigame with him, but I don't know if that's still going to happen.

Despite being powerful at magic, Katie believes he'd have slow reflexes.

He'd love ice skating!

He's also definitely ticklish!

Will happily recieve hugs, very soft and squishy!

Despite his calm and friendly nature, he's got flaws too: as in, he can be petty, overly confident and sometimes rash. He's been compared to Pearl from Steven Universe, and Ash thinks it's a pretty accurate comparison.

His name is a reference to Ace Attorney!

His go to instrument would be a concertina.

Would be friends with Glamrock Freddy, according to Ash!

He can stand on an orb made of magic, just like Raz from Psychonauts with his levitation orb.

If he owned Pokémon, he'd mostly have a Fairy Type team.

He'd never swear; he's the kind that would go "LANGUAGE!" if he'd hear someone say a bad word.

His way of speech has some Weird Al elements to it.

This is what I have, for now! 💜

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

julia, on a wednesday

the following weekend, julia spent time at a beach house with jim's family. seeing pictures on instagram, annie immediately understood why julia had grown the landing strip. she had a small white bikini on in every photo, and in the ones where it was wet, the landing strip was extremely visible.

annie texted her to ask how it went over. "i'm very popular with his dad and brother now," she replied. "his mom doesn't really look at me. but she also walked in on jim fucking me."

robbie was home again that weekend, and so annie was at ted's, fucking him every few hours, getting stoned with lucy, and sending nudes to robbie, and to julia, and to jim. she's started doing this on a thread with julia, but now frequently sent jim her own pics, and he replied with pictures of his cock in julia and his cum on her skin. annie loved being horny about jim with julia. "i love your fiance's cock," she would text her.

jim let her know that his brother had sent him a kind of horny text about being able to see julia's landing strip through her bikini, and annie had encouraged him to send his brother a picture of julia naked. his brother had reciprocated with a picture of his wife.

"it's fucking crazy," jim said. "i've known this woman for a decade, she is the mother of my niece and nephew, and how i know what her tits and bush look like."

"amazing," annie replied. "you're welcome."

when julia returned, she and annie began shopping for the wedding. dress shopping was so fun. the women plied you with champagne, and when they picked up on annie and julia's flirty energy, often joined right in. particularly claire, a sales clerk in her mid-20s who annie sensed was in this job for the joy of it and not the money. as they chatted annie learned that claire was an aspiring event-planner.

julia was changing into dresses right in front of them, in a thong and lace bra, and when annie expressed interest in trying on a dress, claire encouraged her to, so she also stripped to her white panties and pink bra. when claire mentioned that one dress was the one she'd pick, annie begged her to try it on. she tried not to look too hungrily at claire as she slipped out of her black dress. her trimmed pubic hair stuck out a bit around her thong and her very light, nearly invisible nipples poked out a bit from the top of her bra.

"you're so fucking hot," annie told her.

annie had slipped her her number as they left, no decisions yet made. claire texted her an hour later as she and julia were getting early afternoon drinks.

"i don't normally eat pussy but do you want to get together so i can eat your pussy?" claire had texted. "i have a boyfriend so you know, hush hush."

"yes please," annie had replied.

she met claire at her apartment an hour later. the girl seemed nervous but eager. robbie was out, so they went straight to the bed, and claire let annie undress her.

they fucked for three hours -- sweaty, wild, energetic. they kissed and touched and grinded and licked and spit and gasped. annie loved claire's body -- she was tall and thin, like annie, with similarly big breasts and pale skin. the hair on her head was shorter and her pussy was hairier but those were the main differences.

"that was the best fuck of my life," claire told annie in the shower after.

"me too," annie said.

she met ted for dinner that night, and then couldn't manage to cum on his cock after. she faked an orgasm anyway. when she was done, she texted claire.

"i just fucked my boyfriend and it was so boring," she said.

"ditto," claire replied. "i think you made me fucking gay."

a long, hard morning fuck with ted helped annie feel her heterosexuality again. he put his thumb up her ass and she screamed his name so many times her throat hurt. when he came in her mouth, it was soothing to swallow it. ted wandered out to the kitchen after with his dick out, saying good morning to lucy on his way to the bathroom.

her first patient of the morning on thursday was marie, a bored housewife that annie was trying to get interested in hobbies outside of her home. she seemed to feel obligated to do nothing but chores and was collapsing inward. every week annie noticed it felt like less of her personality was coming through.

"marie," annie asked. "do you ever... masturbate?"

marie looked a little taken aback. "what kind of question is that?"

"i just think maybe it would be good for you to relax a little," annie said. "and that's one way I do it."

"i don't need to know that about you," marie said.

"it's OK," annie said. "it's normal, real life stuff."

"i was raised to not to do that," marie said.

"really?"

"self-pleasure is a sin. my father told me."

"well, i was not raised religiously," annie said. "my parents thought it was a good way to keep me from having premarital sex."

"did it work?" marie asked. "you're not married."

annie laughed. "no, it didn't work. i have a lot of premartial sex."

marie grinned despite herself. "i mean, i did too. with my now husband."

"you little sinner, you," annie said. "i know it sounds strange to get a presecription like this... but seriously. try touching yourself."

"i am genuinely not sure i know how."

annie laughed. "just feel around until something feels good, and then keep doing that."

marie said she would try.

after the session, annie checked her phone. she had a message from claire, a picture of herself masturbating.

that night jim texted annie that he and his brother had exchanged more photos - jim had sent him one of julia's spread pussy and he'd sent a similar one of his wife. his brother had asked if julia ever shaved and jim had sent a few shaved pussy pics, and his brother had sent him a video of his wife in the shower, shaving her pussy and touching herself for him as he filmed.

[remuslupinschocolat3]

My stardew valley headcanons because no one can stop me!!!!!!!

Part one

In alphabetical order

Abigail:

💎Bisexual

💎she/they

💎Hates children

💎In a Polycule with Sam and Sebastian

💎Shares a braincell with Sam

💎smoked weed once with Sebastian and threw up afterwards

💎has random beef with Haley that Haley isn't aware of

💎gets piercings just to spite her dad

💎was only good in English class in highschool

💎regrets being on 2020 alt tiktok

💎 secretly vandalizes their father's yoba shrine (he thinks it's Sebastian doing it)

💎their gay awakening was Keira Knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean (she just like me fr)

Alex

🏈the definition of comphet

🏈himbo

🏈gay man/lesbian alliance with Haley

🏈his first crush was the team captain of an Opponent's school gridball team

🏈 doesn't drink alcohol because he's scared to be like his father

🏈he had a pathetic crush on Elliot when Elliot first moved to the valley

🏈has a bottle of the perfume his mother used to wear and sprays it on his pillow when he's sad

🏈used to go to a gym in Zu City but stopped after a boy there asked him out

🏈dated Haley in highschool for half a year until both of them came out to the other in hopes to let the other down gently

Caroline

🍃not a single thought behind those eyes

🍃fell out of love with Pierre ten years ago

🍃grows marijuana plants in her tea house (have you seen her two heart event?)

🍃dyed her hair green once when she was 15 and never tried a different color again

🍃has a few secret tattoos

🍃the necklace she wears is a gift by Rasmodios

🍃best friends with Jodi and Robin

🍃loves to gossip, she knows everyone's business

🍃almost became an almond mom but stopped before it could affect Abigail in the long run

🍃she has no enemies, everyone loves her but hates her husband

Clint (it's red cus he's a red flag)

🔨4chan user

🔨incel

🔨used to tell his mom to make him a sandwich

🔨called his parents by their first names

🔨knows the Irish dance (I don't know what it's called lmao)

🔨can't have friendships with women because he always thinks they fall in love with him

🔨hasn't exercised since he finished highschool

🔨stalks Emily (that's canon) (stay away from her)

🔨can you tell I hate him yet?

Demetrius

🧪is the reason his first marriage failed

🧪controlling and possessive (Maru's two heart event)

🧪so boring

🧪thinks missionary is the only way to have sex

🧪I know people headcanon him as autistic but I think he's just petty

🧪 arrogant, thinks he's smarter than everyone else because he knows science

🧪was actually an okay step father to Sebastian until Maru was born

🧪him and Robin are not compatible but neither of them want to go through a second divorce

Elliot

🦀 gay and proud

🦀in his mid thirties

🦀 can't swim

🦀 used to write star trek fanfiction as a teenager on fanfiction.net

🦀so fucking tall

🦀went through three separate gender identity crisis before realizing that he just isn't comfortable expressing himself as a stereotypical manly man

🦀demi romantic

🦀gay man/lesbian alliance with Leah

🦀sees Leah as the little sister he never had

🦀 isn't really broke, he's a trustfund baby who wanted to experience what it's like to be a starving artist (thinks it makes his art more valid)

🦀Leah beat him up when she found out

🦀 obsessed with his hair (I'm so jealous of his luscious curls 😭😭😭)

🦀so dramatic (used to be a theater kid for sure)

Emily

🔮the character I headcanon as autistic

🔮 pansexual and asexual

🔮they/she, trans

🔮dating Sandy

🔮knows everyone's zodiac signs

🔮names her plants

🔮gets the zoomies after work (at night)

🔮Haley hates it

🔮Haley's biggest supporter

🔮vegan

🔮thinks of Clint as a genuine friend (save yourself girly pop)

🔮calls Sandy the weirdest nick names "hello my cuddle bear" "it's been too long since we last saw each other my strawberry jam"

🔮suckles on Pennies (she just like me fr)

🔮reads books about crystals for hours on end, Haley has to take the book away from her and drag her to bed sometimes

🔮has befriended the junimos

🔮Sandy sells the clothes she makes

🔮hates the taste of strawberry in candy and stuff

🔮would vape if vapes existed in stardew valley but not in a I'm a thirteen year old boy way but in a I like the taste and I enjoy making smoke rings kinda way

🔮you can't tell me that she's not a pothead

🔮knows Haley is a lesbian years before her sister figures it out

🔮besties with Shane (refuses to sell him alcohol at the Stardrop saloon)

🔮gets extremely flustered around people she deems as attractive

🔮is really bad at doing her own makeup (Sandy or Haley do it for her)

🔮has a huge tattoo that covers almost her entire back

🔮her energy is contagious

🔮high School was very hard for her but college was the best time of her life

🔮wants to buzz her hair so bad but has enough restrain to keep herself from doing so

🔮loves to make cocktails (she makes Gus try them and he always loves them and puts them on his menu)

🔮makes Shane, Sandy and Haley cosplay with her (none of them want to but they can't say no when Emily looks at them with that wide eyed grin of hers)

🔮unleashed a group of rats in JoJa mart because Shane complained once (1 time) about his working conditions, the store closed for two months

🔮can you tell how much I love Emily?

[c-is-for-circinate]

What I mean when I say that Mike and Steve and Hopper are playing out different sides of the same story is that in season four, in the throes of maybe the best monologue in the series, Hopper says, "Ever since I was eighteen...Uncle Sam wants me to go fight some war in the jungle. Charlie's moving south like a plague 'cause of commie bastards like you. And you know, I'm happy enough to go, prove to my old man I'm not the piece of shit he thinks I am." A year earlier, fresh out of high school, Steve complains about the asshole dad who sneers at him about learning responsibility, and then finds himself out on a quest to find Soviet soldiers on American soil, trying to set loose the Upside-Down like a disease.

It's something about fathers and sons and respect and what you have to live up to. Something about the way Ted Wheeler never looks up at his children over the breakfast table. Something about trying to prove yourself with honor and violence, with protection. Steve home-running a demogorgon and playing bait for demodogs in a junkyard, Hopper playing bait in a prison laundry room, Hopper with a sword like the fulfillment of a promise. Joyce and Murray behind Hopper in the face of danger and the almost-hilarious plethora of shots of teens ducking behind Steve at the first sign of monsters. The way you can see Mike stop being a snotty, whiny teenager and Activate Paladin Mode every time someone he loves is in trouble.

It's the way Hopper and Mike both try to Lay Down The Law, we are Not Stupid, friends don't lie. They break their own rules, because who could ever live up to them? But god forbid El does. Steve's favorite word is 'no', for all he keeps getting overruled, all the times he keeps trying.

It's Joyce. It's Nancy. It's El, and El again -- a little bit Robin, and a little bit Will, a little bit all of the kids, but always, there's El.

It's about loving but not knowing how to do it right, because nobody ever taught you, because your dad was a piece of shit who will never be impressed, who will never be proud, because you used to be a boy and then the world said here, little boy, it's time to learn violence instead. It's about trying again and again to love the right way anyway, grasping for advice because of course Joyce and Will know how to love El better, letting Nancy go because of course Jonathan is best. (None of the Byers tell this story, because they're all too busy letting love carve chunks out of them instead.)

It's about being the guy, The Guy -- the one who isn't black or disabled or gay, the one who's not a genius, not a weirdo, not strange in the face of all these things that keep getting stranger. The Guy, who all the laws of narrative say is supposed to be at the center (though Joyce and Nancy and Dustin do more to actively drive the plot in any one season than these guys do in four, though the whole show revolves like a hurricane around El, El, always El). The Guy, knowing you're meant to get the girl in the end, recognizing or forgetting or learning that maybe this isn't that story, that maybe you've never been good enough for her. Never knowing what to do with yourself without her, because you're not special. You've never been special. You're normal. You're boring. You're an asshole. You're a curse.

And Mike is too young to hold a sword, and Steve knows how to say I love you, and Hopper is so much older and more tired and broken than either of them. But Steve walks barefoot through miles of Upside-Down, and Hopper runs barefoot through miles of Russian snow, and nobody says a goddamn word, because they're the same, they're the same, they're the same.