#I mean it when I say I love them both! The community reactions have been wonderful to watch though

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

You can’t ask me to chose between the two! Maybe in this world they’re twins? Or one of them is one of the many OZZ’s sisters. Please let’s recycle instead of throw out. (Mostly joking btw, you do you!)

They are two parts of the same whole…a universal contradiction…in one universe the comic continues with green, and in another the comic continues with red.

But yeah, I think my will is being tested a bit; the green and red campaigning has been persuasive B,*)

[daenysx]

hiiii I’m not sure if you take nsfw requests but I was thinking about if modern aemond’s gf was too stressed that it was taking longer for her to finish and she fakes her climax, how aemond would react? If you don’t do nsfw just maybe something similar where she is so stressed but won’t communicate it and his reaction when she hides it from him?

soft!aemond is back!! i mean kind of lol. i really hope you like this, i'm taking nsfw requests if you have any, thank you for requesting! <333 (title is from a lana del rey song, the pics aren't mine i got them from pinterest)

wc: 2.9k

modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader, smut ♡ (also fluff, tiny tiny bit of angst?)

burning desire

aemond is in a good mood this evening.

the summer rain hits the window, you kiss your boyfriend to the sound of rain. aemond's body is a nice weight against your body. he kisses you calmly, long fingers rub the soft skin of your waist.

your head is full of things these days. you try to stop overthinking, you're unable to sleep at nights, mindlessly scrolling your phone for hours just because you can't solve any problems. there's not much to solve, not really, you only have to wait to settle down with everything that keeps your mind busy. it's not so easy, though, you're impatient, sometimes eager to doubt yourself and every little decision you made. the stress weighs down on you. you focus on aemond's lips instead.

he's been out of town for the past week. now, he's on your bed with you laying under him. he doesn't say how much he missed you but the kisses are the proof of it. he makes little sounds, doesn't stop until you are desperate for breathing. he looks at you through a hazy eye, his pretty lips swollen and pinkish.

"i missed you." you mumble. "it's hard to deal with things without you."

aemond looks at you with an unreadable expression. you think he likes what you say, he enjoys how much you want him with you. he smiles slyly, fucking attractive, he's gonna test all your patience.

he holds the back of your neck without saying anything, fingers curled in your hair to pull your head back. your entire neck is exposed, you moan when he presses his lips on your pulse point. he gives you a big kiss, the kind of kiss you could lose your mind over. he doesn't leave a mark but it's still nice. his lips draw a line on your collarbone.

"i missed you, too." he says, quietly. "pretty girl."

his fingers play with the waistband of your shorts. the sound of thunderstorm is louder when you're both quiet. aemond pushes your tank top to your breasts, he kisses your belly. you push yourself against his mouth, feeling him loving on you is so nice. he plays with you until you arch your back, you look at him with widened eyes.

"please." you say. he kisses your hipbone.

"gotta tell me what you want." he says. "you know you won't get it otherwise."

his devilish smirk makes your thighs clench. you take a deep breath, your mind feels like it's full of empty bubbles. his touch is cool against your bare skin, he rubs the back of your thighs with his huge hands.

"i'm waiting." he says, gets on his knees on bed. "tell me."

you lift your hips to show what you want. "can you take it off?" you ask. you take your tank top off without asking him. his eye shines when he sees your bare chest.

"of course." he tells you, his fingers move on your shorts. "such a nice girl."

you get more and more impatient with each second. aemond takes off his shirt, your hands touch all the way on his chest to his happy trail. his hipbones are sharp against the fabric of his pants, your breathing quickens to the image of his defined muscles. you can see the outline of his half hard cock, aemond tilts his head back and groans when you touch him through his pants.

"wait." he says. "i'm not gonna last if you keep touching me like that."

you just squeeze him gently one last time. "you didn't even take your clothes off." you say cheekily. "i wanna touch you without them." you whisper.

aemond smiles. it's a perfect smile, his lips curved because of your obvious desire. he sees how hard your nipples get with chilly air of the room, your panties getting wetter as you touch him, your eyes have the look of want and something different in them. he is quick to get rid of his clothes as you wish. you don't move until he gets back on top of you, only the thin fabric of your panties separates you from his cock.

he kisses you for a good minute. you cup his cheeks, happy to hide from the world with his long hair falling around your face. he presses himself to your center, it feels different than it used to. you don't know the reason, maybe you missed him too much, maybe your body tries to remember how his touch affects you. he's more patient than you, even though it's clear how much he needs to release.

"aemond." you mumble, wrapping your legs around his waist at the same time.

"hmm?" he sucks your jawline softly. he's so pretty, you think you'll lose your mind.

"i feel like-" you start, unable to finish any thought. your mind is too full these days. "can you please do something?"

you press yourself harder against him with the last piece of strength you could find. aemond pushes your panties aside. your cunt glints with the wetness but he still wants to prepare you. "it's okay." he reassures you. your eyes are closed, like you're trying to focus. "you just gotta be patient for me, okay?"

you nod. aemond thinks you might be the sweetest thing in his world. he pushes a finger inside you gently with his thumb on your clit. you moan silently, your body needs to relieve the tension, it keeps you awake every night. aemond moves his finger slowly, getting as many sounds from you as he can to guide himself. you part your legs for him, he settles down.

you feel like you're lost in the feelings he gives you. it's weird for a second then it's not. he pushes a second finger in, the stretch is tight but he likes it very much when you clench around him. "aemond, hmm-" you make incoherent sounds. you hold his face to kiss him as his fingers work inside you.

"do you feel good?" he asks. "is it good, baby?"

fuck, you love it so much when he calls you baby. you nod, saying yes three times. his touch is fire, you don't escape. he is hard against your leg, so hard, so bold. you moan again, your brain goes through a haze.

aemond keeps fingering you, his thumb rubs your clit with circles. the touch is nice to feel, you tilt your head back when it gets unbearable. he smiles wickedly as you keep saying his name. you look like you're lost in him.

"are you gonna come for me?" he asks with slow words against your ear. you think you will. "gonna be my nice girl and come around my fingers?"

his words feel wonderful and for a second you really believe you'll come against his hand. you try to open your eyes, aemond keeps moving his fingers quicker. you think you need to push yourself against him to make your body relax. it'll work. it always does.

but then it doesn't. your body doesn't relax, it's still too tense, too tight. you make a sound as if you're coming, aemond's eye is closed. you don't know why it happens, you feel like somethin's wrong. it's never happened before. your voice is too real to him, for a second he actually believes you orgasmed. you don't say anything.

it feels like you'll disappoint him if you say it was fake. you didn't do it on purpose and your body surprised even you, you faked an orgasm for the first time with aemond. you feel upset for a moment, his fingers get still inside you. you put your poor body on bed, quit arching your back. your mind places walls between you and your pleasure.

your boyfriend opens his eye to your tired face. he pulls his fingers, giving you a smile. he's still undeniably hard but he doesn't move, waiting for you to say something.

"what-" he begins, you reach for his hand. "are you okay?"

you think he'll be upset to find out you faked your pleasure. he definitely would understand if you tell him but you still feel tired. you feel hungry for his touch, hungry for a piece of relief. you don't know how to control your mind, how to ease off your worries and all the stress you've been carrying.

"i'm okay." you say. you squeeze his fingers.

"i don't believe it." he says, sitting on bed. "you don't look okay, did i- did i hurt you?"

you shake your head quickly. "no, of course not. i would tell you, you know it."

"then what?" he asks. he pushes his hair back. "you never look like this after you come, i'm sure of it. you should tell me if something's wrong."

you force yourself to sit next to him. your hand is still holding his. "nothing's wrong." you begin, trying to find words. "it's just-"

aemond holds your cheek in his hand. "tell me." he demands softly.

"i was sure, i was gonna finish." you say. it's the truth. "but i couldn't, not really. i mean it felt good but-"

"you didn't finish." he completes. "but you sounded like-"

"i didn't mean to fake it, i promise." you say. "i thought it would be okay, like it always is but- it didn't, but i'd never fake it with you."

aemond's face is strange, like he's embarrassed. he's thinking. is it his fault? did he fail to take care of you? did you need to fake it to finish early? he likes giving you pleasure, he likes giving what you ask of him. he knows you trust him enough to let him take care of you, and he likes it so much when you take care of him. the bond between you two is something precious, it upsets him to see you unsure and sad about it.

"i should've prepared you better." he says. "maybe you weren't ready. i was fast."

"no." you say, kissing his cheek to get closer. "it's probably because i'm too much in my head these days. it's nothing to do with you, baby, you know stress can have these kind of effects."

"what's bothering you?" aemond asks gently. "why are you so stressed?"

"i don't know." you answer honestly. "i really don't. it's too many things about the school and other stuff, and you weren't here. it's easy to get lost in problems when you're not around."

he pulls you to his lap. rain hits harder on windows. "you know- you know you can tell me anything. i'd never force you to have sex with me if you're not in the mood. if i'd known-"

"no!" you stop him. it's far from what happened and this time he gets in his head. "i wanted it so much. i still want it, aemond, i promise. i need you, i need to relax. i just don't know how to do it- how to get out of my head."

"do you still want it?" he asks, just to be sure. "do you want me to make you come?"

you nod, taking a breath to relax the tension on your shoulders. "please."

"i can talk you through it." he says, putting your body on bed under him. "if you can only focus on my voice and nothing else, i can help you relax."

"but what if i-"

"it's okay if you can't finish." he interrupts you. "don't go hard on yourself. you just gotta tell me when it does and doesn't feel good."

"okay." you say, desperate to feel his hands all over you again. it feels good to ask for his help.

"good." he says, with a deep voice. "i'll make you feel better." he promises.

your head goes back to let him kiss your neck, he kisses the same spots as he did minutes ago. you hold his hand, it doesn't take too much for him to get hard again. it's been a week since you last had sex. aemond doesn't like touching himself without you ever since you first made him come. it's addicting to feel your softness against his cock, he feels poorly when he tries to do it himself.

"i need it." you say, numbly. "please."

he holds your waist, kissing the top of your cunt softly. "trust me." he says. "don't worry."

he kisses your swollen clit. it aches with want, you want to have him so much, it hurts your head. he sucks to relieve a bit of tension. "yes." you whisper. "more, please."

he sucks for a nice minute. you part your legs, your wetness mixes with his spit. he's never been ashamed with his intentions but he feels bolder this time. pressing his cock to soft bed under him, he grunts against your cunt.

"i can't take it." you cry. "you need to do something, i feel like i'm losing my mind."

he kisses your belly. "sweetheart." he speaks softer than he ever does. "you're not losing your mind. you just need to be patient with yourself."

you feel a teardrop roll on your cheek out of pleasure. "okay." you say, pulling him back on his spot between your legs.

when he's sure you're wet enough, aemond strokes his cock. the tip of it is dark pink, so sensitive, so needy. he knows he'll feel good when he gets inside of you, he rubs himself nicely before placing himself properly against your hole.

"are you okay?" he asks against your ear. you nod, he relaxes. his back arching towards you gracefully, his cock finally getting what it wants as he pushes himself inside slowly.

you moan, tilting your head back. it's so sweet, you sound wet when he pushes a bit more. he moves his hips carefully, grunts softly when he can breathe against your chest.

"you feel so good, you know that?" he asks, almost begging. "i missed having you like this, all mine, all needy for me."

"i missed you, too." you cry out. the pleasure is blinding when he presses his fingers on your wet clit. "i missed you so much." you hug him, it's more intimate than it ever has been. rain sounds cover your little whispers, you kiss the skin beneath his ear.

"never gonna leave you again." he promises. he keeps moving, pushing himself fully inside. "never gonna leave you lost in your pretty head."

"please." you say. "please, baby, help."

you're too sweet on him, calling him baby when he's desperate to get you come. he feels himself getting closer to his peak but that's not his priority right now.

he hits your g-spot for the first time that evening and you moan loudly. he smiles, kissing your forehead. "relax." he says. "i got you."

"right there." you mumble. "so- so good."

he moves gracefully, hitting the same spot over and over again, his stamina helps him delaying his own climax. you're all spread out under him, he sucks one of your nipples when your chest gets heavy with deep breaths. he holds your hands on top of your head, fucking into you sweetly with hard motions.

"i can feel it." he says. "you're so close, right? so pretty, you should see yourself."

"close." you murmur. "i need it."

he keeps fucking you until you finally snap. your mind goes blank, it's all him. his scent overwhelmes you, surrounds you and there's nothing else. aemond targaryen is everywhere, he doesn't stop until the tightness disappears. arching your back for the last time, your wetness stains the sheets.

aemond can't keep himself any longer. "come for me." you beg. "please, come for me, i need to feel you."

who's he to deny your wishes? he comes hard, grunting, moaning your name. your thighs, your cunt, the sheets, all covered in white cum. he lets out a breath, shaken up by your cunt. "fuck." he whispers, putting his head on your chest. he's spent.

it takes a few minutes for you to get back to yourself. your fingers in his hair, his hands around you, his head on your chest. you stay like this until your mind feels like you again. you are exhausted, finally feel like you'll get a good night sleep.

"that felt pretty real to me." aemond teases when he lifts his head to see you.

"it was." you smile. "it felt so good."

aemond leaves the bed to get a clean towel from the bathroom. he comes back, cleans you up as good as he can. "help me, sweetheart." he says. "can you lift your hips?"

you do as he says, he leaves again. you feel good, your muscles spent for him, your head in that hazy space. you have a lovesick smile on your face when aemond comes back, wearing a clean pair of boxers.

"you'll get cold." he says, helping you wear one of his shirts and clean panties. "it's still raining."

"it's nice." you whisper. "can we sleep now?"

aemond kisses the side of your head. "yes. after you drink this."

he hands you a glass of water, you take three sips. aemond joins you under the covers, you wrap yourself around him instantly. he rubs your shoulder softly, you kiss his neck before burying yourself against him.

"thank you." you whisper. "for taking care of me."

"you think i could leave my girl alone when she needs me?" he says with a low voice. "i'm glad you never need to fake anything with me."

"i trust you." you say, finally falling asleep on him. three words aemond has barely heard before he met you. he thinks it's a nice weight to carry someone's trust. especially yours. you trust him with your body, with your mind. he kisses your head. your hand twitch against his waist in your sleep. he holds your hand through the night.

♡

[twistedlovelines]

Do you have anything for Sebek please, I'm like so desperate for any smut about him cause he's so underrated 😭

sdfHDIFS sebeks so cute , , , he's a little cunt (2 me) i need to shake him in a jar

here's some personal hcs, but lemme know if u want me 2 elaborate or anything!!

18+, gn! dom! reader, sebek zigvolt, breeding kink later on

he's a service sub. 100%.

this man has dedicated his life to serving the future ruler of the briar valley and he will dedicate himself to your pleasure with the same steadfastness and determination <3

this rings particularly true when it comes to oral- he'll ask you what feels good and what doesn't. he's not the best at gauging your reactions since it's all new to him, so direct communication is incredibly helpful and will benefit the both of you in the long run.

mostly voices his pleasure through groans at first, but after you notice how much he's biting his lips and encourage him to be more vocal, you'll hear all the pretty moans he's been holding in <3

i also hc sebek to pick at the skin on his fingers/bite his lips when he's feeling anxious. when you're more familiar and comfortable with each other sexually, i think he's quite touched and gets a bit teary eyed if you were to ever kiss the tips of his fingers with reverence, holding his hand as if it were the finest jewel on earth.

praise kink. i mean is it really that surprising , , , the first time you give him orders in bed you can see his eyes sparkling when he looks back at you , , , every time you praise him, it eggs him on even further and it'll feel as if he has no end to his stamina sdhfuji

i wouldn't say his libido is high but if you tease him and leave him pent up for a week he gets sooo desperate its adorable. he wouldn't voice it out loud (he would never dishonor you!!) but. he's not the most subtle LOL. he gets more nervous and gives excuses to escort you places so that he can walk close to you (just kiss him when u get back to your dorm <3 he will be very receptive <3)

cries the first time you say i love you during sex

his breeding kink is also crazy aiugsdhf. the thought of building a future with you and cementing your legacy together makes his brain go haywire so fast. gets whimpery and whiny when you croon about him marking you and making sure you're his and only his , ,,

he's also a biter LOL. doesn't do it on purpose but he can't help but want to have you in his mouth when he cums , , , (mind, he won't bite your dick off if he cums while giving you oral but he has an oral fixation and enjoys biting akhusdfi). will get so embarrassed if you have hickeys the next day and will beg you to cover it with makeup or clothing to "protect your decency" but gets a half chub when he wakes up and sees them on u.

as for oral fixation . . . i mentioned how he is with oral earlier but he genuinely loves having his mouth on you so much. kissing is so intimate to him. will melt into your arms the second you plant your lips on his and turn your head to the side just so , , ,

but anyways. if u have a cock he will be between your spread legs like it's his last day on earth every time he gives you oral. something about you filling his mouth and being immersed in your scent , , , if you cum down his throat he's swallowing because he wants to savor your very essence. will also stick his tongue out if you ask for proof that he swallowed, no question <3

and if u have a pussy he unintentionally bullies your clit sm asbdhfiS. he can't help it!! he just likes how it feels in his mouth and enjoys how you squirm when he's focusing on it , , but god its so worth it because when he finally parts from you in order to breathe the lower half of his face is shining.

but yeah!! these are my general nsfw hcs for sebek, lmk if you wanna hear more <3

[j0hnj4ej3n]

nct dream's reaction to you ignoring them after an argument

word count: 1.4k 

warnings: slight angst but they mostly end with fluff heh, mentions of food, let me know if i missed out anything

notes: hii loveys! here’s a short post for the month of February <3 i know i said i’ll try to post monthly this year but i’ll be really busy from here on, mostly because of school but i will be working on a Jaemin AU really soon! that will probably be my next post, which i will try to get out by the end of April or early May! until then, please be well everyone, sending all my love <3

𔘓Mark:

He’s been trying to talk to you after the argument you two had last night, but he’s only been met with cold replies. You’ve also been keeping to yourself all day, clearly still dwelling over the argument last night. Mark hates this. He hates that you’re both not being able to be comfortable around each other. He wonders if you’re still mad at him, so he asks you the next time you walk out to the living room. “No…” you say quickly, before retreating back into your shared bedroom. Mark follows closely behind you, “Why have you been avoiding me, then? I thought we talked it out already, if you’re still upset just tell me.” “We did talk it out, and we’re past that argument. But I still need some time to myself… that’s all. I didn’t mean to avoid you intentionally, I’m sorry.” You tell him as you still can’t get over the emotions from last night. Mark comes to sit beside you on the bed, patting your head twice, “You should have just told me that, babe. I’ll give you as much space as you need, just know I’m still always going to be there for you.”

𔘓Renjun:

Renjun knows you’re doing this on purpose. He’s asked you the same question twice, and you are basically refusing to answer him out of spite. The argument is still fresh in both your minds and Renjun is trying to get over it by offering to go get take-out for you both. But since your petty ass is ignoring him on purpose, he wants to be petty right back. “I’m asking you one more time baby, do you want me to get you anything for dinner? I’m about to leave.” Silence. “Fine, I’m leaving.” Renjun storms out of your shared apartment, almost slamming the front door behind him. He doesn’t understand why you’re ignoring him after the two of you already talked it out. You always do this and he doesn’t get it. He’s frowning the whole way to the restaurant but when he leaves, he carries a plastic bag containing food for two.

𔘓Jeno:

“Baby… won’t you talk to me?” Jeno is not new to this treatment from you. Everytime the two of you argue, he’s met with the cold shoulder. It’s like he suddenly doesn’t exist, even if he’s standing right in front of you. You’re just avoidant, and you promise you’re trying to be more communicative but it’s still a work in progress. Jeno has an evident pout on his face, it genuinely makes him sad when you do this. He sighs at your silence, “Okay, I’ll leave you be… I’ll be in the room if you need anything okay? I love you.” Your heart flutters and you try not to show it, you hear Jeno shuffle into your room and the door closes behind him. You can’t ever stay mad at Jeno for long, and this sounds ridiculous but you miss him already. You’re still feeling a little upset and you don’t have anything to say but you just miss being close to him. So you drag your feet towards your shared bedroom, opening the door and walking to where Jeno is on his gaming chair, wordlessly. He quickly turns around, eyes wide and about to ask if you need anything. But before he gets to open his mouth, you crawl onto his lap and drape yourself over him. You can hear Jeno chuckle to himself and feel how quickly he wraps his arms around your torso. He knows well enough that this means you’re okay, maybe still a little bothered but you just want to be near him. And he allows it, so he only pulls you closer because Jeno would choose this over you ignoring him any day.

𔘓Haechan:

“Are you really ignoring me right now?” Haechan stands in front of you with his hands on his hips, blocking your view of the TV. “Hey! I’m talking to you!” He says as he waves his hand frantically in front of your face. You only glare up at him and swat his arm away. “You’re so childish…” “You’re childish.” “Oh? So you respond now…” You just cross your arms and nudge Haechan aside with your feet. You honestly don’t even know what show is on right now, you just need the white noise to drain out your anger. “If you’re still upset about something, just tell me. How am I supposed to read your mind, baby?” “Okay, fine. I’m upset with you.” Haechan sits beside you now. “Okay, that’s obvious… May I know why?” “No.” “Baby.” “I’m not calm enough right now to tell you.” You let out a breath, it comes out like a huff. “Do you always look this cute when you’re angry?” You give Haechan the nastiest side-eye and he just giggles. “What? You’re just so cute.” He says as he reaches out to pinch your cheeks. “Stop it!” Haechan only laughs. “Sorry, sorry…” He replies trying to hide his chuckle behind his hand.

𔘓Jaemin:

This doesn’t happen often, at all. Jaemin and you have been rather calm every time you’re met with a disagreement. But this escalated really quickly and caught both of you off guard. You two ended up arguing over something so silly, saying unkind things in the heat of the moment, and worse still, in public. You got so emotional about it, so quickly. And you feel like you’re being dramatic when you begin to walk away from Jaemin to cool down. He’s calling out for you immediately. He catches up quickly, reaching down to try and hold your hand. But you wrestle to get your hand out of his grasp. “Honey, please… just listen.” But you cross your arms so Jaemin can’t get a hold of your hands and starts to walk more briskly. You don’t look at him, don’t say a word. You hang your head low, staring only at the ground as you keep walking wherever your legs take you. Jaemin isn’t beside you anymore but you can hear him trailing just behind you. He watches your small figure in front of him. He knows you just need time to calm down and he lets you be, staying close until you’re ready to face him again. After another 10 minutes of walking to god knows where, you stop in your tracks and Jaemin walks to stand in front of you. “Are you feeling a little better now?” You nod, now a little embarrassed at the act you pulled. “I’m sorry…” you mumble out and Jaemin only hugs you, “I’m sorry too.”

𔘓Chenle:

“Look at this, it’s so funny…” Chenle shoves his phone in front of you, laughing at the tiktok that’s playing. When you don’t respond, Chenle’s stops laughing and his attention shifts completely to you. You’ve been ignoring him for about 2 hours now, unbeknownst to him. “Hm? Is it not funny? You usually like this stuff.” Chenle mumbles to himself, pulling his phone back in front of him. He’s so oblivious sometimes you want to scream at him. A few minutes later, he’s cackling at his phone and shoving it in front of you again. But this time you nudge his arm away, and Chenle slowly stops laughing. “What’s wrong with you?” And instead of replying to him, you turn, facing away from him. “You’re ignoring me?? Fine, I can do it too!” Chenle says before he turns away from you, curling into himself on the sofa as he huffs.

𔘓Jisung:

Jisung is honestly freaking out. You’re not talking to him and he knows it’s because you’re still upset. It’s a mess in his mind, do you hate him now? Are you going to break up with him? He has no idea what to do. “B-baby, I’m really sorry…” He tells you again as he pokes your shoulder to try and get your attention. Honestly, you’re not that upset anymore, it’s just that the argument just ended. It’s awkward to just pretend like nothing happened and go back to normal, just like that. “It’s okay…” And you don’t say anything else other than that. The silence is deafening, it’s literally eating away at the both of you. You hear Jisung gulp before he speaks again, “You’re not going to break up with me, are you?” You frown. “Why would I do that?” “You haven’t said anything… It's worrying me.” You shake your head, a small smile forming subconsciously. “I just need some time to get over it completely, I won’t break up with you over something like that, silly.”

[akanemnon]

Quick question. Looking back at the comic, how do you manage to subtly shirt into sadder scenes of the story (e.x. Page 26-27 where Frisk and Kris talk about soul possession, something Frisk was oblivious to, or page 45-46 where Frisk realizes they no nothing about themselves. Not even their own age) without it looking too depressing or out of character?

Just wondering as a writer to has a bad tendency to go from lighthearted to disturbing in a matter of seconds. It probably depends on the formatting/genre, but I’m kinda curious to know what you have to say :)

That is a really good question.

I generally try to work with non-verbal communication, i.e. expressions for these kinda transitions and scenes. Characters may say something, but their faces are what really convey how they are feeling.

It often starts with a throwaway line that then snowballs into something bigger. Something generally perceived as harmless but has a huge impact on an individual character.

For example, this part right here

For Undyne and Susie, these statements don't have any negative connotations to them. They are simply stating the obvious. But for Kris, the information held within has huge implications. That is when they realize that the Player is not only gone, but also that Frisk has been going through the same thing they have.

This then snowballs into them talking things over, and Frisk starting to grapple with the fact that it has not ONLY been them doing all these feats and doing the resets. This marks a change in their character, going from over-confident and pushy towards Kris to becoming a little more self-aware.

The same is the case for the later comic parts you mentioned. It all starts with a harmless line, that has personal meaning to a character (Susie asking Frisk how old they are, because of the whole love letter business). In most cases, this would be played for laughs (which it is later on again), but in this moment it is something that triggers a reaction, or rather a realization.

What does help while you're writing these moments, is when the characters can at least get a small positive thing out of them. In both of these cases, it is for character development and a moment of bonding.

[slytherinshua]

HUSBAND MATERIAL

summary. things that husband!matthew does that are a perfect example of husband material. genre. fluff. headcanons. warnings. like 1 suggestive line 😭. all the rest of it is just matthew being perfect and adorable tho </3. i probably wrote him a bit ooc BUT OH WELL LIKE I CANNOT MATCH THIS MANS FREAK LEAVE ME ALONE 😞 pairing. husband!matthew x fem!reader. wc. 751. request. requested by anon (totally an anon.... @heavenfilm) a/n. at this point i cannot deny that matthew is my second bias.. so that's great 🧍‍♀️ i hate my life PLEASE WHY DO ZB1 EXIST

EYE CONTACT

He always finds your eyes from across the room. Whether you’re hanging out with friends or alone at home doing separate tasks, Matthew always scans the room to find where you are. He’ll give you a smooth smile or a wink once he knows he has your attention. No matter how many times he does it, it always manages to summon butterflies in your stomach. It’s mostly another excuse for him to be flirty with you, but he also does it so he can check up on how you’re feeling. He’s always been good at reading your emotions from your face, and he always wants to know if you were ever feeling uncomfortable or down in any way. Matthew always makes sure to make his way over to you and wipe the frown off your face if he needs to.

SELFIES

He will always send you selfies throughout the day. You know exactly what he’s doing practically every hour of the day, because you’re always texting each other. He’ll update you on schedules or let you know when he’ll be back from the gym. If one or both of you are busy for the majority of the day, Matthew will try to FaceTime you during lunch break. Communication is one of the most important things to Matthew, and making sure you’re updated on his schedule is something he’ll always prioritise. 

GRABBING YOUR WAIST

He loves to grab your waist when you’re walking by. Say he’s sitting on the couch and you were walking past him. He would definitely grab your waist and pull you down onto his lap, having no concern for where you had originally been trying to go. This would, of course, be accompanied by plenty of kisses. Your cheeks or forehead are his favourite places to kiss, but if he’s feeling more romantic, he might go for your neck or hand instead. This man is always clingy, and you’ve had to learn to accept that once he gets his hands on you, he will not let you leave until he’s done peppering kisses to your skin.

DATE NIGHTS

Just because you’ve already tied the knot, doesn’t mean that date nights aren’t a serious ordeal for Matthew. He’ll make sure to book a reservation for a fancy restaurant and wear his best suit. He loves to do all the overly romantic things with you that seem straight out of a romcom. He never forgets to tell you how beautiful you look all throughout the date, and if you were ever unsure of how much he adored you, he would be sure to show you later that night.

PICKUP LINES

Cheesy pickup lines are a Matthew staple, and, as your husband, he definitely doesn’t hold back. He knows he’s yours forever, a promise you made with each other on the day of your wedding, and the thought of it just makes his brain go a little crazy. He’s so in love with you, and, unfortunately, his favourite way of playfully expressing it to you is trying endless pickup lines on you. No matter how corny they are, they always manage to make you giggle, which is exactly the reaction Matthew wants. Even if you hate them, you’re never going to be able to get him to stop using them. He’s a bit too addicted to the cliché one-liners. 

BOUQUETS

He’ll bring you back bouquets when he’s been away almost all day. Since he’s very busy, he can’t often spend all day with you like he wants to. Knowing that whenever you miss him, you can just smell the flowers that he gave you puts his mind at ease. Plus, it gives him extra husband points according to you, so he started making it part of his regular routine. He picked up on what flowers you liked the most after a couple weeks and consistently picks out the prettiest bouquets. 

NIGHT TIME KISSES

Matthew has a special night-time routine with you. It’s not skincare or any other hygiene, but in his mind, it’s just as important. When it’s late at night and you’re both drowsy, Matthew loves to give you soft kisses. He has no ulterior motive with them other than showing you how much he loves you. He’ll start with your hand and make his way up your arm, slow and gentle. He takes extra care with your face, making sure the kisses are as tender as possible. Once he reaches your lips, he’ll practically melt into them— the final thing he needs before he falls asleep with you in his arms. 

↳ zerobaseone taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @okshu,, @chewryy,, @haecien,, @sobun1est,,

@emmylksblog,, @talkingsaxy,, @thesunsfullmoon,, @chenleszone,, @sxmmerberries,,

@talking-saxy,, @cupidslovearrows,, @dimplewonie

[dream-with-a-fever]

in defence of ginny weasley (ft fleur delacour)

never thought i would feel strongly enough about this topic to comment on it, but the ginny bashing in this fandom is just insane so i thought why the hell not. ginny seems to get hate for everything under the sun from being being a mary sue who can do no wrong in anyone’s eyes (meaning she’s boring and uninteresting as a character) to being a nasty bully responsible for hurting those around her (??? and they’re both completely contradictory statements btw). when the latter is brought up, ginny’s “terrible” mistreatment of fleur is always front and centre. ‘she’s nasty, she’s cruel, she is a jealous bully etc!’ and i just feel like we should put on our thinking caps and actually take a step back for a fucking second. people may disagree with me, but i think ginny’s reaction to fleur was totally understandable — and reminder, she is a TEENAGE girl, (not to mention both mrs weasley and hermione held fleur in the same regard but no one seems to focus on that side of things).

now in the books, we do see ginny mocking fleur, calling her ‘phlegm’ behind her back, imitating her gait and elegance, expressing her annoyance at her newfound presence in their lives.

let’s look at why she might have reacted that way. first of all, in general, we see that the w are a very humble and welcoming family; they don’t have much but what they do have, they are more than willing to share with others. their financial circumstance plays a massive role in how the characters in the wea clan react and interact with others (as seen with their refusal to accept money from harry etc). their sense of pride in that regard is also quite prevalent. we see that when harry first goes to the burrow, ron is slightly embarrassed by his home, painfully aware of the way many people in the wizarding community view/judge them. when harry goes on to say it’s best place he’s ever seen, we immediately see how touched ron is. ginny is the same in that sense — embarrassed that she has second hand robes & books etc, but at the same time she, like ron, is fiercely protective of what they do have, and what they as a family stand for. they are also very protective of people they love inside and outside of the family (see, ron with ginny, mrs weasleys with all of them etc).

this is relevant because one of the reasons ginny and in turn mrs weasley, have a problem with fleur is the way she talks to them. despite them inviting her into their home, fleur makes her distaste clear even if it is in small ways. she says it’s boring at their house as there’s nothing to do, she often talks disparagingly about how things are done in the weasley household, she loudly mocks celestina warbeck (who mrs weasley loves to play at christmas time) and insults her, she speaks badly about tonks several times etc. her words and mannerisms are also viewed by some (ginny etc) as very pretentious and arrogant — also rather posh, a sign of her family’s wealth (which might have been a sore spot for ginny also).

now don’t get me wrong. i love fleur as a character. i think she’s really cool, charming and brave, and i wish we got to see more of her honestly!! i think she makes a lovely contrast to the other younger characters, and i think she undergoes some nice character development in the books we do see her in. it’s also very clear to me, that when she acts the way she does, it is never out of malice or cruelty— it comes from a place of openness and honesty — which often comes across as quite blunt. it’s a cultural disconnect in many ways; when she inadvertently insults people throughout the books, i think it’s pretty obvious she isn’t trying to hurt anyone’s feelings. but i also think it’s obvious how this attitude might annoy those around her.

calling ginny is a big bad bully for disliking fleur (in the beginning), when her behaviour towards the weasley family would make anyone a bit frustrated, is a bit far. not to mention, her individual treatment of ginny is understandably annoying - ginny complains that fleur is very condescending when speaking to her (‘you’d think i were about three!’).

there’s also the fact that ginny is bill’s little sister. he is her favourite brother (as seen from the way she respects him and his opinions, looks up to him - she wanted to go to hogwarts ever since bill went!). ginny having a reaction to her brother’s new girlfriend is very normal - he’s her big brother! all his attention is now on his new girlfriend - who ginny finds to be full of herself, patronising & annoying. part of her may also be worried that fleur will end up breaking his heart in the end — because she’s protective of her brother.

add the fact that her brother and old crush and basically every man ever is drawn to her because of her godly beauty (as a part veela), her and bill’s wont to shower each other in public displays of affection (who wants to see their brother doing this!?) and the fact that ginny always gotten along with tonks (the person her and molly had in mind for bill’s future partner) has always treated her kindly and as an equal, and therefore would much prefer as a sister-in-law — it’s not that surprising that ginny feels the way she does towards fleur.

nevertheless, do i think this is something ginny would grow out of? yes, of course. we already see changes in their relationship in the final book. besides, a lot of this stuff is surface level, as ginny and fleur don’t know all that much about each other — i think fleur’s love for bill (especially shown in the hospital wing after he’s been attacked by greyback) definitely changes the way ginny regards her. i also like to think that they grew closer as they got older, as with age comes maturity, and with maturity comes understanding. i also feel that fleur was someone who really stepped up when it came to supporting the weasleys after fred’s death, something that ginny would have appreciated. i see them having a nice relationship later in life.

ANYWAY, this was an exceedingly long rant for which i apologise but i have often seen people talk about how nasty ginny is to fleur, and i think it’s so unfair to not look at the context which leads to her being a little frustrated at her future sister in law. plus, she is allowed to dislike someone who she does not get along with and who she finds unpleasant to be around. we all have people like that in our lives but god forbid ginny does…not to mention, ginny is never openly rude to her EVER, and she’s allowed to voice her frustrations to her friends/family. the fact people call her an outright bully for this is just insane.

people on here will defend so many other dubious characters but the second a teenage character with good intentions makes a mistake / doesn’t act perfectly (i.e ron, ginny), they are suddenly the epitome of evil in human form, i mean get a grip, honestly. also one last quick thing(!!!), i do note some people blame jkr for writing her female characters this way, as we’ve seen the way she seems to frown upon conventional/typical displays of femininity (lavender and parvati being seen as ‘silly’ girls with frivolous thoughts, cho chang as overly emotional - despite having a very rational reaction to the death of her boyfriend, fleur as overly feminine and therefore less serious/intelligent). her heroines are women who often conceal or discard these more feminine traits — and i will say that despite loving these characters very much, i do think some more nuance here, could have been very beneficial to the story, and to the message being sent to young female/female identifying readers. there is strength in femininity, and rejecting feminine traits does not make you more or less a person.

okay, rant over. if you actually got to the end, bless you, if not — well, that’s totally fair (lol). also please don’t kill me in the comment section if you disagree. this is just my two cents. ok that’s all.

[historicity-was-already-taken]

pixeljade: #it IS very much a complex issue and I feel like saying that has been pissing off a lot of folks on both sides #one fact i would add to the table is that the current actions against palestine DO constitute a genocide by definition #its a word i hear pro-Israel people get very upset by because they think it is inherently comparing this to the holocaust #but its not. some people DO and thats its own discussion. but calling it a “genocide” is simply accurate and undeniable

Speaking as someone who was that pro-Israel person in her teens and very early 20s, the reactions you're describing are 800% cognitive dissonance freak outs. Most of these people, like me, received either directly or indirectly from their Elders in the Jewish community a very trauma-induced and deeply emotional information about the history of this situation, which boils down to: "They tried to kill us all once and they didn't now we finally have returned to the Promised Land, the only place we have to shield ourselves against It Happening Again. Israel's detractors hate that Jews can defend themselves now, and if any of them, including the Palestinians, were to have their way, they'd see us all dead. We must defend ourselves at all costs, and not let anyone ever put us in existential danger as a people ever again."

And then to have some rando 19 year old who knows jack shit about your or your community or your community's trauma to get up in your face and start screaming at you about genocide? It's only going to trigger that intergenerational trauma, and cause the party being screamed at to dig deeper into their defensive, cognitive-dissonance fueled response. Which, if we were to boil that response down to a thought process, looks like "This person hates me and all Jews. They think we're a hive mind who don't deserve to live. Thank G-d for Israel."

What's complex, is that not everything in that trauma response is wrong, and not everything the dumbass 19 yo who has no interest in unpacking their own learned anti-Semitism was wrong.

Israel's actions towards Palestinian Arabs since 1948 does fit several definitions of genocide and/or ethnic cleansing. And many of the Westerners who scream about it the loudest are fairly openly anti-Semitic.

Now, as someone with big Holocaust intergenerational trauma in her family, I am sympathetic to the Jewish kid in this scenario. But cognitive dissonance is just that: the domain of a child. Adults understand that cognitive dissonance is a little voice in our head telling us "Hey comrade our discomfort with this is a little much. Maybe this is a learning opportunity?"

I mean, that's what I did. But it's difficult. Its uncomfortable, and that scares people. It's much easier to believe that "They call it the Naqba because they hate us and think our survival and access to national self-determination is a disaster,"* than it is to understand that "They call it the Naqba because it was the near total dispossession and ethnic cleansing of Palestinian Arab populations from their generational homes and properties."

And again, everything I'm saying here is a result of my journey from a hardcore Zionist-in-the-contemporary-sense child (though always left in terms of domestic US Politics), to a grown Holocaust historian who understands that Israel is no better and no worse than all the other nation states (for new readers, I understand the nation-state as a political entity, the logical end point of which is genocide and/or ethnic cleansing), and openly criticizes it on those grounds.

*A rabbi in a youth group I belonged to told me this almost verbatim when I was 15. And when you're 15 and somebody tells you they love you you're gonna believe them.

[murainhell]

Helluva Boss Spoilers!

The longer it's been since Full Moon was released, the more I think I like the fight. The writing and acting is incredible, they have done a fantastic job.

I know some people have taken my drawing as Blitzo being the one who acted wrong, while my friends think I'm blaming Stolas because I defend Blitzo when they complain about him. But no, I'm not taking sides. They are both wrong and at the same time right and their reactions are perfectly justified. They are two complex characters with complicated traumas that are clashing at the worst time. As a psychologist, I'm loving all of this. 

All of Stolas' opening dialogue is correct. You can tell he's been thinking about it for a long time, practicing, figuring out exactly what he wanted to say. That's great. The only problem is that when you practice a conversation, in your head nobody answers you. There were two possible outcomes, that Blitzo would say yes and they would see what happens after that together, or that he would reject him and there was no longer any reason to continue the conversation.

But Blitzo reacts in a way he didn't expect. Blitzo begs him not to change anything. “I can do better.”

The entire HB team has done a brilliant job of letting us feel Blitzo as a kid saying the same thing to his father. By now he is flooded by his own trauma. He doesn't accept the gift, he wants everything to stay the same. He wants the book, because:

It's something that works for them, it's something that is simple, why change it? Changing it is uncharted territory, and his past relationships have been complicated. But Stolas doesn't really know about those relationships.

Having the book is an excuse to see each other, it's a chain that binds them together as long as Blitzo needs it for his work. It means Stolas won't abandon him, they have a deal. But for Stolas that same tether is unbearable, because he knows what it's like to be tied down in a relationship, he's suffered the effects of that with Stella, and that means he's condemning Blitzo to the same situation, turning him into the monster he feels he is. But Blitzo doesn't really know that.

Believing it's a lie, a role-play, hurts Stolas, but how to blame Blitzo when he believes he's unlovable? He hates himself, how can Stolas be serious?

And I was hurt when Stolas said that for Blitzo it's always about sex... Bird boy, that's all he knows with you. And you know he thinks you're only there for the sex too, he tells you that in S1E7! Use your words to make him understand!!! 

But Stolas believes that everything he is witnessing is the answer. And he gives up. He's saying goodbye... ready to disappear from Blitzo's life, abandoning him when he can't give him what he asks for, when he's not enough. 

The reaction of both is understandable: Blitzo is ready for a fight (his way of communicating), he reacts poorly to the fact that Stolas is sending him out of his life because in the end he's confirming that rich people are like that, he's been a plaything for a while and now he's left behind; Stolas shuts down, he reacts poorly because he's been suffering yelling and hitting things and insults from Stella for years. 

And it breaks my heart. “Just look my way” Stolas, he's doing it. Blitzo is screaming and crying but he's looking at you. He's mad, but you just have to listen to him. Really listen to him. Because Blitzo has every right in the world to be upset, everything he says is true.

Stolas has dropped an emotional bomb on him, one he wasn't prepared for because in his head no one would want that with him. And then, without giving him time to process, to think, he's dismissing him.

He charges his fury at the social rift between them, but it's just that that difference has existed for as long as he can remember. Blitzo was sold to be a playmate for Stolas. Their relationship began within an abuse of power, where Blitzo sells his body for the book. Stolas is privileged enough not to have thought of any of that until now. It's not that he thinks badly of Stolas (although in his eyes, Stolas is confirming it by sending him away, he's a broken toy), it's facts. They need to put them on the table to grow. 

But Stolas is also within his rights not to listen when that's the tone he's using with him. He's using his coping mechanism to endure the fights with Stella. Blitzo is also confirming his worst fears; sending him away, removing that source of emotional damage he's suffering, is understandable, though by doing that he robs Blitzo of the opportunity to choose and make himself heard. 

Still, they needed this fight. Let's face it, they were not at all in a situation to start a serious relationship. They need it to know what they want, spend time without obligations and chains (as free equals) and to have space to have a real conversation. Because they don't talk, they don't have emotionally vulnerable conversations, where they can understand why the other is the way they are. 

I firmly believe they're going to figure it out. I believe in them. But we'll have to wait. In the meantime, don't hate any of them for reacting like complex souls.

Let's be Team Stolitz.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I Still On1y Care About...

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Sept 2024 Week 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 7 of 12 - Deeeelightful. They are so damn cute + a nice kiss! The rise of the green flag semes continues. I like it when Diew flirts and shows that he does have some experience in a relationship, and he can/will flex his power. Props to God for being a man who remembers to TAKE HIS DRINK with him. 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 4 of 10 - Yep I still like it and all its toxicity. It’s fun to see how closely it follows the original. Now I really can’t wait to see how this one ends. Since this time around we get an actual ending.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 6 of 12 - How did they know that what I wanted more than anything was a side couple = spoiled prince + demon lord? How clever they are to give them to me. Meanwhile, in a shocking twist, the leads have known each other since childhood. Because why be original? 

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Oh it’s very cute. I love Ing. I love that Ai was honest with his bestie. Best friend's older brother trope is a go! Also good kisses all round. 

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 1 of 12 - Ohm has his shirt off less than 5 min in. I guess GMMTV is learning what we want. My boy Title is the creep character again. I’m assuming that’s why GMMTV brought him on board at this juncture. Sigh. New boy, Q, looks like Mek’s younger brother. Ultimately? I'm not convinced on this one. It is doing what it says on the tin, but nothing more than that. I’m not wild about it, but I will keep watching.

The Trainee (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - The more OffGun BLs, the more time they spend communicating as characters in those BLs. It’s kind of charming. They've become the pair that advocates for communication in relationships. I like it as evolution for their brand. Flirting via the printer was very fun. Especially as the Thai script is so beautiful.

Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - I guess this is a lockdown narrative? Odd choice. A lot of familiar faces but from more minor rolls. Is this from the Destiny Seeker people? It feels like that. It’s a bigger cast than I was expecting, and a sort of classic university BL of the kind star Hunter produces. Or the end of love people. Pretty classic Thai pulp stuff. I’m mildly enjoying it. Hali is too hot to be the dorky second lead. Nice to see Boat back on my screen. However, it is… what’s the word I am looking for? Oh yes. Boring. Plus singing. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 5-6 of 12 - I entirely lost my mind over this show this week. Fuck me it's so good. The delicacy sends me. I keep expecting it to be clumsy and then is just isn't - it's so subtle and it demands we pay such close attention. I feel like I'm holding my breath the whole time I'm watching.

Cliff's notes on these 2 eps as follows:

The pure unadulterated tsundere of it all.

The awesome angst, it aches.

The series of repercussions after the fight was pacing genius.

The brilliant juxtaposition of "the kid who self isolates too easily" versus "the one who has been forced into isolation" meets both of them being smart enough to know why they react out of hurt, but neither can stop doing it.

Baby’s reaction to learning he’s going to be left behind = to instantly make plans to do the leaving in the future hurts my heart in the best possible way.

"Maybe what we call eternity is just persistence."

Maybe one boy simply deciding to be another boy's rock is romance. 

Production better nail the second half of this show! It better be the world against them from here on out or the audience is gonna riot.

And by "audience" I mean me.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 5 of 10 - Oh noes! Poor baby boy!!! My heart hurts. But also gah so cute and next week they shack up together! Hooray! 

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 11 - too much time spent on the girl again. I don’t need excuses for why she’s a bitch. So can we talk about Taichi instead? It’s such a good characterization, this boy who understands everything about other people but doesn’t notice anything about himself, including his own abilities of observation. The person who is special never realizes how special they are, I guess. The soundscapes are so good with this show. The moments where prod decided to be silent are so vital and so pivotal and used with such delicacy and strategy, it’s truly audio magic manipulation.  

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 7-8 of 12 - I loved how Orca just jumped on the stage. What a great side couple. CHARMED I TELL YOU. Orca was all… singing? Naw. I came back to fuck the manager's brains out. Anything less than that is unacceptable. 

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 10 fin - Essentially this was a growth story for Takara and an exercise in patience while the two of them learned each other’s quirks and languages. It was also an exercise in patience for me... who doesn’t like the power differential of a weaker younger character having to do all the pursuing while constantly feeling like he is inferior to the older popular hot character. I know this was a BL that was definitely for some people, since plenty liked it way more than I did, but I didn’t like it very much even though there’s nothing objectively wrong with it. It simply wasn’t to my personal taste. 7/10 

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 5-6 of 8 - Enter an ex or something? Well he certainly has a type. Bah. This whole series seems to be mainly about cheating. It’s very annoying because they are all so pretty. 

Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - Based on a manga, longer than usual run time. A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL. Messy gay pain here we go.

Oh it’s exactly what I expected. Do I like it? No I do not. And ya know what? There is plenty airing. I have a bad feeling about this one. DNF 

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Sat Gaga) eps 1-6 of 8 - Gaga picked this one up so we can watch it there. I'm waiting until the end, it seems angsty and confusing and full of awful people being awful. But also... high heat and I'm shallow. So we shall see which devil wins (and how it ends).

The Hidden Moon (Sat ????) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) ‘เดือนพราง’ by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger)... A Bangkok writer is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai which is being converted into a café. He gets into an accident and nearly dies on his way there. After that, he sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, one boy catches his attention. Was substantially recast. Couldn't find it. Didn't really look.

In case you missed it

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. It's just taking me some time. This isn't really a bingable show, not for me anyway. It's A LOT to take all at once. No new one this week.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Plus:

9/9 Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) 12 eps? - Be gay YinWar, do crimes. Dehup gives us Yin, War, Mark and a few other familiar faces in a Leverage sitch, only queerer.

9/14 Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sat ????) ?? eps - Remake of the original. I'm scared too.

9/15 Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - Assistant to a player boss who is in love with that boss decides to quit to save himself. The boss then makes a move. (A gay What's up with Secretary Kim?)

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming SEPTEMBER 2024:

9/17 Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 eps - Lawyer and a con artist meet at a bar, pair up, fall in love.

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

9/? The Time of Fever (Korea iQIYI) 6 eps - HoTae & DongHee are back! Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names I an WILD for this.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Not sure what this is from but I capped it for a reason so, shrug.

The scent trope AND the childhood crush trope? I see you suckering me into one trope because I like the other. Clever, Battle. Very clever.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[willowpains]

pairing: drew starkey x fem. reader!

summary: cast member reader and drew take on poguelandia

warnings: none

disclaimer: english is not my first language so I apologize for any grammar mistakes<3

the release of season 3 was just around the corner, and as a way to interact with the fans and give the new season some promotion, the obx team had decided to launch an event where fans would be able to live a pogue experience with the cast, which created a lot of anticipation in the fan community and had everyone in the world wishing they could attend, cause everyone was gonna be there to have a good time.

y/n was a little nervous, this event was a big deal, and as she arrived at the place in the back of the van with madelyn, her palms started sweating and her heart started racing. she had just joined the obx cast last season, along with carlacia, and this was going to be one of the first big interactions she was gonna have with the cast out in public as well as with the fans. she knew fans liked her character and cheered on her as an actress, but what if that was not the case when they saw her in real life? her impostor syndrome truly winning that day.

“everything ok y/n?” Madelyn asked noticing how the girl kept looking out the window as she played with her hands, a way to cope with her anxiety.

“i’m just feeling a bit nervous, that’s all. nothing to worry about” she answered seeing how the van came to a stop in a secluded area of the event.

her friend understood, to this day, she still got nervous at events, she believed it was impossible to get used to living this life and getting that much attention.

“just breathe, we’ll all be together and you’ll have a great time, trust me” Madelyn told the girl while she gave her a comforting smile. Both girls had instantly clicked since y/n joined the series, and had been glued to each other since then, they found a best friend in each other, and their love and care could be seen in and off screen.

“is drew already here?” y/n asked getting off the van and walking to where some of the crew were giving details on what they needed everyone to be doing.

just as she finished her question the tall man appeared around the corner making her smile, he was with Austin while a couple of crew members surrounded them, looking like they had just come from looking around the event, probably interacting with some fans. As drew noticed the van, he quickly began walking towards them, locking eyes with the anxious girl who relaxed immediately after seeing him approach.

“there’s my girl” he said into smile as he closed the distance between them hugging y/n to his chest, feeling her relax under his touch. “what took you guys so long?”

drew and y/n had met while filming season two of the show, and they had immediately become really good friends, best friends someone could say. they spent a lot of time in each other’s trailers, and their chemistry and the way they looked at each other was something all their friends could notice, but for some reason, it was something that both of them didn’t seem to grasp until long after they met, cause it was just before beginning to film season 3, that they couldn’t keep denying their feelings to each other, finally deciding to be together.

the only thing is, they decided to keep it private. and it’s not that they weren’t sure they loved each other, but they were scared of the reaction of the fans, so to that day, they have been trying to keep it low key, and it’s not like much changed, I mean, ever since they met they have had this bond that had fans questioning if they were more than friends, so all they had to do was keep the pda to themselves, even though they kind of fail in the attempt.

“traffic was insane, but it definitely allowed us to make our grand entrance” said Madelyn while she looked around seeing how they were the last to arrive.

drew could feel y/n’s quick heartbeat in his chest, so looking down to her he asked “is everything ok love?” while putting her hair behind her ear in a loving way.

y/n nodded slowly looking into his eyes and giving him a small smile “just a little nervous, don’t know what to expect honestly” she admitted.

Drew held her face while giving her a small peck on the lips “it’s ok to be nervous, if I’m being honest with you, on the way here my hands were dripping sweat” he said while stroking her cheek “and I’ll be next to you for as long as you need me to”

Y/n inhaled a deep breath while nodding to her boyfriend, she knew he was being serious, after all, since they started being friends and now as a couple, all drew had ever done was made her feel comfortable and secure, always giving her words of encouragement and being there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to have a laugh with.

Drew took her hand in between his and started to walk towards where the rest of the cast was hanging out, as well as where some crew members were giving directions as to what kind of content they needed to film . “Let’s take on poguelandia” y/n said with a smile.

…

After a few hours filming some content for obx’s social media, and interacting with some fans, some of the guys, along with drew and y/n decided you wanted to tag along and enjoy the music.

after your nerves and anxious thoughts had washed away after and eventful day, you let yourself enjoy the event and have fun with your friends, so after you got your drinks and arrived on the platform with the rest of the cast, you decided you were gonna enjoy the rest of the day with the people that you loved.

“feeling better already huh?” drew whispered into your ear as he stood behind you with his arm around your shoulders while he held his drink in the other hand.

you nodded while you let yourself rest your head on his chest behind you.

you two weren’t nervous about being this touchy in public, you had always been that way, which was why you always had the fans wondering if you two were friends or more than that. you had always been very comfortable around each other, and being physical with each other had felt natural from the begging, so nothing had changed about that, all you had to be careful with was no kissing in public, which was definitely hard cause it was all you two wanted to do while being around each other in the warmth of the desert.

“being around you always makes me feel better” you told him while you left a quick kiss to his arm that was still around you keeping you close to him.

drew tried to hide giddy his smile while he sipped his drink “glad to know the effect is mutual love” he answered as he rested his chin on top of your head as you both swayed together to the beat of the music playing in front of you guys.

what had started as a nerve wracking experience for you had definitely turned into one of the best days with your friends and boyfriend.

…

TikTok

*a fan video captured the two of you swaying to the beat of khalid’s music and drew had his arm around you and you rested your head on his chest*

poguelife THEY ARE ADORABLE

sarahswife can they confirm their relationship already?

holybandana stop they’re definitely dating

drewmyman they’re not together guys, they’re just friends and that’s how they’ve always acted around each other

y/ncloset all this videos of them together at poguelandia are keeping me alive

obxcharleston people said they saw them kissing a couple of times

chase4life I’m scared I don’t want them to end up like chase and maddie

twinkielover could y’all leave them alone? if they are or aren’t together is none of our business, LET THEM BE

hourlyrafe MY FAVORITE PEOPLE

*so I had been wanting to write something for drew because he just lives in my mind rent free, first blurb I write in here so I’m not sure is any good, but I did enjoy writing a lot!

[melodiousoblivionao3]

This is going to be long but I’m going to attach a quote from Tierna’s latest podcast appearance (good game with Sarah Spain) where she directly addresses the KA debacle. I think, as one of the only out queer players and a veteran, she answered very well, considering she’s probably not allowed to say everything since they are on a team together.

Tierna for captain. Read below.

SARAH: “There are some favorite players that aren't there, but one of the newer players has been getting different reactions from the fans than the majority of the team, and that's Korbin Albert. This is a real sticky, tough situation. I'm just wondering how you personally are dealing with both the public reaction to Korbin and sort of the internal response about her.”

TIERNA: “Yeah, I mean, I know, I think it's a difficult situation that has obviously affected me personally given what she was speaking on. I think that it is something that you have to learn as a young player, especially with the platform that you're given, is your beliefs or, you know, how you choose to express certain things is very public, and people do look and listen. And, you know, whether or not it's something that you grew up with or it was instilled upon you from a young age, and you might not know better, it is something that can hurt other people.

You know, I think that she has gone through a lot of learning since then, and she has to continue to do that. As we all do as humans, we have to learn from what we do in our lives and how people react to it and understand the hurt that we can cause. You know, I think that it's difficult, because as a team, we have always wanted to be very welcoming to all of our fans, to all players that walk through the locker room.

And so to have that in our space is very difficult. But, you know, I think I have always believed in the ability for people to learn and for people to change and to evolve. And that sometimes requires a very difficult experience, which I think this is that moment for her.

And so, you know, it's something that happens a lot in people's lives where they kind of come between a rock and a hard place, and you're like, OK, what am I going to do? Am I going to pick the left path or the right path? And, you know, it's up to her.

But, you know, I think that she's continuing to do that education, and it's important that she expresses that as she learns. So I think, you know, the ball's kind of in her court for that. But, yeah, I mean, it's been difficult.

It was difficult for me when it first happened. And it's been hard to hear how fans have been taking it because I feel like I want to be able to represent the queer community really well on this team. And so I want to have fans feel really welcome and feel like they can see themselves on this field, in this team.

And so I don't want there to be any sort of feeling that, you know, they are not welcome here. So, you know, I, again, I believe in people being able to evolve and being able to learn. And I'm not someone that's going to meet any sort of hate with hate.

So, you know, she is one of my teammates, and I respect that. And I, you know, respect her as a player. But, you know, it is something that you have to go through with life.

It's like you encounter and work with people that you don't always agree with. But that's, you know, something that you want to try and help people to change. You want to try and help them love.

And, you know, that's what we're trying to do.”

From Good Game with Sarah Spain: Leading with Love with Tierna Davidson, Jul 23, 2024

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-game-with-sarah-spain/id1752100672?i=1000663063610

[simplydnp]

idk why this matters to me but in the last few months they've been acknowledging so many things I never ever thought they would. pinof and the touching. the phude multiple times. dapc slime (ok they had merch to sell for that one but still)

no but actually. phil literally said 'i thought we weren't acknowledging it' about the phude and now they just bring it up all the time.

pinof reacts... i still can't believe we're in a post pinof-reacts universe. how did that happen. i was changed permanently--like something shuffled in my dna when i got the notif for pinof reacts 1. this is not a physical reaction but a chemical one that cannot be undone. for something that was so... sacred. and integral. to their existence and history. pinof wasn't generally talked about unless it was pinof time. and even then it was 'it'll be up soon' or 'we just posted it' and then Never talked about outside of that. especially not the first one! we freak out about the We Know You Know in the newsletter but it's Always been like that with pinof 1. so to see them--new (& natural 🥺) hair for them both, in a house they bought and built together, in the first few months of giving the gaming channel a second chance--reflect on how it all began? absolutely devastating. and to lean into moments and discuss them in new ways. in territory previously not breached! the 'they're toUching'?!?!? the '11 hour fuck session'!?!? the '£9000 champagne'?!?!? like hey we're not supposed to talk about that, dan and phil might see!! shhh!! but they're the ones saying it!! absolutely wild.

in a way, it had to happen. especially with where we're at now (them literally selling merch of them holding hands). in order for them to move beyond that... mindset? i guess? that a lot of fans had, they had to defang it. i really see it as one of the biggest walls they've broken down in the way they communicate with us. the 'hey. it's okay. we've seen it. it's not a big deal. we will absolutely make fun of you for it though. but we're good.'

i'm just really curious whose idea it was. (lbr it was probably phil given dans not a react kinda guy. but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be in the room where it happened when they talked about actually doing it or not, and what it would mean) (big ad revenue thats for sure 🤣 get it kings)

i will never be able to get phil's 'they touched' out of my head and at this point i wouldn't want to. it's absolutely earned. and i guess it makes me a masochist to enjoy the psychic damage it inflicts on me, but such is life i suppose.

the crafts mention really surprised me! i had contemplated a few different scenarios in how they'd go about it, and i'll be honest i feel like they could've committed to the bit a little more but they're forgiven. like what about glitchy interstitials! cuts to the merch website. found footage inserted between sections! i recognize they don't want to 'scare' their usual audience wirh sudden cuts to intense/graphic content but my immersionnn. absolutely shattered by 'oh we have new merch now btw'. cmon boys you love to lie to us. say theres merch up but you dont know where it came from. just that we should buy it 👀 or idk, something clever. and i recognize i may sound like a spoilt brat bc i just got a 14 minute long masterpiece of an unexpected dapc revival, but my immersion. i mean i already bought the merch before they shilled it anyways so it didn't influence me regardless 🤣

ultimately we really are in a new era. even beyond just the revival. i think they're really finding their stride--not only in their content (evidenced by a semi-regular schedule) but also creatively, in doing what they want to do, how they want to do it, and truly not giving that much of a fuck anymore. and i'm really happy for them. phil talked a bit about this in his 'rating my icons' video, where he's kind of decided he doesn't care what people on twitter think, and how it's been good for him, and i think we're seeing that reflected in not only his content, but also the gaming channel. they play what they want. they say what they want. and it's just fun. dan going on the record to say he's really enjoying it makes me so happy to hear, because literally december 2022 he believed he'd disappear after WAD. and now, instead, he gets to play games and make stupid jokes and smile and laugh multiple times a week, and he's really happy about it. he gets to be silly and goofy and crude without having to Stress about it. i keep saying it but they're so settled now. and as someone who's followed them through big changes and turbulent times, getting to see them happy after everything... it brings a lot of hope. and i know theyre millionaires. but there's something to looking at someone you fell in love with 15 years ago the same then as you do now. but instead of it being something scary, something you have to hide, something that feels like it can consume you and everything you have--it gets to be something beautiful. and regular. and embraced. you've read this far you get to listen to me wax poetic about them.

we've been thoroughly boiled and maybe, just maybe, it's warming our hearts too.

[redroomreflections]

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story Chapter 5

Natasha Romanoff x Black!Fem! Reader

Note: This is a repost from my since deactivated account Natsxaddiction. I will be adding the shorter stories to here; 20 chapters or less - sorry TLH fans =(

Masterlist | General Masterlist

Chapter 5/20 (A completed story)

Summary: Natasha and Reader are married. They get into an accident where Natasha suffers serious injuries including amnesia. Natasha no longer remembers her life with reader and their children. All she remembers are her days loving Bruce.

W/c: 5.1k

The key to a good marriage is good communication. Not to go to bed angry with each other. Not to lie to one another. Don’t lie. That’s a big one and if anyone asked you would tell them that you don’t lie. Even then it’s only half the truth. You’ve been lying to people for as long as you can remember. You lied to Natasha for a long time. You’ve been lying to yourself even longer. You stand under the scalding hot water of the shower, trying to stand strong, as you think about all of the events of the past few weeks. Of all the reactions you expected from Natasha, her pulling out a knife was surprising. For years, she’s been your rock and you hers. Since Ultron physically hurting each other has always been off the list. Training sessions were a different platform and often your initial aggression towards each other was handled in the gym of the compound. Going from lovers to enemies to lovers again has been a whirlwind of emotions. Even though all your feelings for her haven’t changed, you can't help but have the tiniest bit of anger at her actions.  

There was a time when you remembered you were happy. Trips to the compound meant fun, joy, and love for your family. Other times it meant work but even then you were okay with visiting. Today, it means something different. You’re nervous about how Natasha will act in front of everyone else. You’re even more scared that Wanda will say something. You’ve already given her notice about Natasha’s attitude and you know she will be on edge about it. For Wanda is your protector, and you are hers. Ever since Pietro died it's a silent promise you made to each other. It’s comforting knowing that even if you’re at odds with your person you have another one in your corner. You can’t wait to hug her. Maybe you’ll get a moment alone to sit with her and tell her how you’re really feeling. Your mind keeps replaying the events of last night like a broken record. Seeing Natasha pull out that knife terrified you though you won’t admit it to her. She looked at you with anger you haven’t seen in years. As if she doesn’t know you. In her eyes, she doesn’t. You’re another stranger that’s lied to her and you understand that. You’re not expecting her to dismiss it. Her hurt is just as valid as it was all those years ago. 

You only wish you had a bit more time to tell her. Natasha’s never been a patient one. 

You step out of the shower, listening for the sound of the girls down in the living room before you walk to your closet. You’re not up to dressing in your usual dressy fits. Natasha used to tease you about how fancy you always looked. Every shirt or dress you touch holds memories. The black and white sweater dress. You’d worn that to a date night with dinner served on a rooftop. After the delicious dinner, Natasha took you home where you barely made it through the door before she was all over you. A silk blouse that you wore when you signed the deed for the house. All memories of the life you’ve been sharing with Natasha. 

You find your bearings, opting for a simple green oversized sweater, loose-fitting jeans, and white socks. You brush your hair into a messy ponytail before walking out of the closet in search of your shoes. A compound is a huge place and you’re going to have to keep both girls in check. You’re bent over your bed, a blanket tossed over the side, as you reach under the bed for your second sneaker. When you stand up notice it. Almost like a zoom lens, your eyes focus on Natasha’s wedding band sitting on its lonesome on her dresser. The responding EMTs gave it to you in a small Ziploc bag after the accident. You had been banged up and bruised but otherwise fine. You waited one long gruesome hour in your own hospital bed for them to tell you anything. No one had answers for you then and that only made things worse. Your mind went through every scenario where the doctor would come in and tell you she died. You remember the nausea that took over your body when you saw a representation of your love in such a careless piece of plastic. You walk over to the dresser, reaching above you to unclip your necklace, to add the ring to it. It slips on easily as you clip the necklace back around your neck. You inspect yourself in the mirror as you hold the ring between your fingers. It serves as a reminder to keep moving forward. 

“Mama, we are ready,” Olivia interrupts your thinking as she stands in the doorway of your bedroom. You give her a once over, noticing her shoes are on the wrong feet when you wave her over. You hold her around her waist, helping her over to the bed so you can kneel to help with her shoes. 

“I have to pack your backpack,” You inform her. “Is there anything you want to bring and show for Auntie Wanda?”

“I think my dolls,” Olivia nods. She raises her left foot for you to place it inside of her shoe. “Mommy, can I go to the doctor and get that thing on my arm like Mama?”

“What thing?” You ask absentmindedly. 

“On Mama’s arm,” Olivia gestures. “She said I can color on it.” 

“I don’t think those are for sale but I can buy you markers,” You offer, now understanding that she’s referring to the cast on Natasha’s arm. She seems satisfied with that answer. You finish strapping her shoes before patting her legs. “Go get your dolls.” You instruct and she toddles out of the room. 

You sigh, standing to your full height, before tucking your phone in your pocket. The next stop is the compound. You quickly pack the girls a bag filled with Lily’s diapers, a few snacks for them, spare clothes for both of them, and wipes. Lots of wipes. From past experiences, you know that's the number one thing you need. You reach the foyer where Natasha is waiting for the girls. Everyone has their shoes on, completely dressed, and jackets zipped. You go over to the key dish finding it empty. 

“I’m driving,” Natasha doesn’t leave much room for argument. 

“Natasha, that’s ridiculous,” You shake your head. “You have a broken wrist and ribs there’s no way you can drive. Top that with the medications you’re taking. It’s unsafe.”

“As opposed to driving with you?” Natasha argues. That’s a low blow. “We don’t all have a shield to keep us safe.” At your face, she continues. “I did notice it last night.”

You take a deep breath. “Nat, that is completely uncalled for and if you have questions I’m happy to answer them. I can cancel lunch and we can stay here. I won’t be doing this in front of the girls.” You gesture to Olivia whos watching both of you. “If you want I will order an uber and pay the insane fee for all four of us to drive or you will get in the car with me and just trust that I can get us there safely. Either way, I’m not going to let too many of those comments pass.” You speak firmly. 

There’s a moment of silence between you and you can see the wheels turning in Natasha’s head. She’s thinking about this and how far she wants to take it. You’re right. She doesn’t want to fight in front of the girls. She reaches into her pants pocket, tossing you the keys, and you catch them. 

“Thank you,” You nod. You pick up Lily and take Olivia’s hand as you all pile out of the door. You turn to lock the front door and show Natasha to the car. Olivia climbs into her own seat and waits patiently for you to strap her in. Next is Lily and you have a little more trouble as she mewls at the idea of being strapped in. Natasha watches you curiously. She wants to see how you’re going to calm her. You reach into the diaper bag, grabbing a sippy cup of frozen breast milk, and her eyes immediately light up. You’re on your last few frozen bags and soon you won’t have the small remedy. Lily takes the sippy cup with urgency, immediately bringing it to her mouth to drink. 

You round the car to get into the driver’s side, taking a deep breath, before buckling yourself in. Natasha climbs into the passenger side and does the same. “Look, Natasha, I understand you’re feeling conflicted and everything is confusing for you right now. I know I’m not your favorite person right now.” You look into the backseat where both girls are occupied. “I just don’t want to do any of this in front of the girls. That’s something we promised to each other.” You leave it at that. You start the car, making sure to check beside you before you drive off. 

The car ride is done in relative silence. Olivia asks a question ever so often, prompting either you or Natasha to answer, as you drive. Most of them Natasha can answer as they’re simple and general. Why is the sky blue? Why do people walk when there are cars? Why does that man lives on the street? Where does the subway sleep at night? Finally, she gets to one that stumps Natasha. 

“Mama, can we call Auntie Lena later?” Olivia asks. “I haven’t seen her in a long time.” 

Out of your peripheral, you can see Natasha tense. She’s trying to connect the dots and sure enough, she’s landing on Yelena. You can tell she hasn’t thought about Yelena during this time. Seeing Melina and Alexei was more than enough of a shock for her. It’s another piece of her life missing that she has to think about. Natasha’s mouth falls open like a fish out of water. She doesn’t have an answer. 

“Mama?” Olivia asks again. 

“I can call her for you later,” You answer for Natasha. Your eyes remain on the road the entire time. “I’m sure Auntie Yelena misses you. She’s in Rome right now on business.”

“Oh, she’s on business?” Olivia repeats as she looks out of the window. She’s pretty used to this sort of answer so she doesn’t ask for more than that. “Is she hungry?”

You smile at her curiosity. “I hope not. If anything we can send her some food.”

“Like spaghetti?” Olivia volunteers. 

“If that's what she wants we can order her spaghetti,” You laugh. Olivia quiets down after that. Besides Wanda, Yelena is Olivia’s favorite aunt to interact with. Laura is also high on that list. She’s come a long way from being the little girl that was afraid of pretty much everything and everyone. 

“Is her number inside my phone?” Natasha asks quietly. She folds her arms against her chest, a sign of nerves that you know well. 

“It is,” You answer. “I think she would enjoy hearing from you. She was pretty worried after the accident and everything but couldn’t come home in time.” You inform her. Natasha nods. “You two are pretty close. I’d think almost closer than Wanda and I.” You add. Natasha processes this in silence, turning so her body faces the door more, and that’s how you know the conversation has ended.

******************************** 

When you arrive at the compound you go through a series of security checkpoints. You offer your name, “Y/n y/l/n - Romanoff,” though no introduction is needed. You give them the names of everyone else in the car and with one look from Natasha, you’re allowed through. 

“This compound has been here for years and you’d think they would let me in on the first try,” You shake your head. You know the real reason behind the guards' hesitance. One that everyone else isn’t privy to except for Sam. He’s called on plenty of occasions for Tony to ask his staff to let him through. 

“Does that happen often?” Natasha asks and you nod. 

“Perks of the job,” You shrug. Being a superhero had its advantages but this was not one of them. You drive down the mile-long driveway to park in front of the compound doors just like always. You place the car in park, thanking the high heavens that you made it safely, while you relax in your seat.

“Mommy, potty!” Lily announces from her chair. In times like now, she’s good with announcing when she has to go but you’re not very expectant that she will. 

“Okay, I’ll hurry,” You call to her. “Nat, Olivia knows the way to the lounge, she will quite literally drag you to it,” You take the keys. You leave Natasha with Olivia while you rush Lily to the first bathroom you can. 

“Mama, are you ready?” Olivia asks from her seat. She’s so excited to see her Aunt Wanda and her uncles. 

“Yes, Myshka, I’m ready,” Natasha speaks quietly. She finds herself anxious but she’d never admit it out loud. Natasha finds that you were right about Olivia dragging her inside of the compound. She pulls her forward, almost into the plexiglass doors that slide open as if they were made in a grocery store. 

“It can see my face, Mama, and your face,” Olivia points to one of the security cameras on the wall to her left. Natasha tries to take in everything. From the high ceilings, the newly buffed floors, and the exorbitant displays of wealth that can only be Tony’s doing. “It’s cool right?” Olivia understands a little bit about Natasha’s ‘sickness’ by taking notes from you and your recent task of telling her everything. “We have to go through the doors. There are two. Then down a long, long, long hallway, and then we get to the ‘Venger’s lounge.” Olivia explains. 

Natasha is a little winded at the pace and distance they’re going and so she asks Olivia to slow down. 

“Oops, I’m sorry,” Olivia giggles. She walks slower, giving a leisurely pace, as she points to Natasha all of her favorite things inside the compound. Once they reach the lounge, Natasha is completely abandoned as Olivia spots her favorite cousin, Morgan playing with a set of blocks. “Morgan! Hi, Morgan.” Olivia greets her. They look to be around the same age though Morgan is a bit taller. 

Natasha is left to look around the place, finding the rest of the adults in the kitchen. She stands by the doorway, watching you come from another one with Lily on your hips. 

“Hello all,” You greet Pepper with a kiss on her cheek and Tony a slap on his back that almost makes him choke on whatever drink he’s drinking. Natasha snickers in the corner but she chooses to remain silent and watch. You give Sam a fist bump and Steve another kiss on his cheek. There’s a woman Natasha recognizes as Sharon Carter. Sharon takes Lily, tickling her, and causing her to laugh. 

There’s another woman that you greet that has Natasha’s blood running cold. You wrap your arms around Wanda, giving her several wet kisses on her cheek, and she proceeds to wipe them off. From the outside, it's an endearing exchange between sisters, but for Natasha, it only causes more confusion. 

“Mama, are we spying?” Olivia whispers almost startling Natasha. She looks up at her mother with pure mischief in her eyes. 

“We aren’t but I do have to say you’re a good spy, I barely noticed you,” Natasha chuckles. 

“There she is!” Tony cheers when he notices Natasha in the doorway. He rounds the counter to approach her, holding out his hand for her to shake, as he walks. “Hello, nice to meet you again, I’m Tony Stark. I don’t know if you remember me but I’m your very, very rich best friend.”

“I remember you, Tony,” Natasha rolls her eyes. “Best friend is pushing it.” She looks him over. He looks older and a bit more mature. Maybe Pepper has finally tamed the wild beast that is Tony Stark. 

“Ouch, you wound me,” Tony holds his hand over his heart. “Though I do understand the best friend title was transferred to Y/n a long time ago.” Tony gestures to you. He bends down to greet Olivia. “What’s up, munchkin, did you steal any hearts today?” 

Oliva laughs at Tony’s ridiculousness. “No, Uncle, I don’t steal. Mama says it’s bad.” 

“That’s right it is,” Natasha brushes down some of Olivia’s hair. 

“Come join the rest of the team,” Tony invites them further into the kitchen. “Did you meet Morgan out there?”

“She’s your kid?” Natasha’s eyes widen. 

“The one and only,” Tony nods. “Pepper carried her right in the oven here. I’m trying to get her to give me one more. A boy.” Tony wraps his arm around Pepper’s shoulder and she blushes. 

“That’s not happening,” Pepper laughs. She pushes Tony’s arm from her shoulder. “Hello, Natasha.” 

“Hello, Pepper.” Natasha gives her a small smile. 

“We missed you around here, Red,” Sam says from his chair. The sentiment is shared by everyone else in the room. Olivia goes around the room to give everyone a hug before she lands on Wanda. Wanda bends down to pull Olivia in her arms, taking her over to the stove where she shows her what she is cooking. Natasha doesn’t know if it’s a conscience move on her part not to introduce herself but she does it for her. 

“You’re Wanda right?” Natasha addresses her and green eyes raise to look at her. 

“Yes, I am,” Wanda nods. “We met a long time ago. I am y/n’s sister.” She introduces. 

“I remember how we met,” Natasha nods. “It’s amazing how much the team has changed.” You narrow your eyes, seeing the shade for what it is, but you remain silent. 

“Everyone has a past but we all joined the team to make the world a better place and wipe our ledgers,” Wanda offers and you pinch her side to get her to stop. You didn't bring Natasha here for them to argue. Wanda barely flinches but she does give you an annoyed look. 

“Who’s car did you drive?” Steve questions. He comes to stand beside Natasha. He gives her a smile.

“A rental,” You wave the keys. “The insurance companies are still investigating and we are going through everything. Our car was totaled.”

“If you need I can have another one to you by the end of this week?” Tony shrugs. He has connections in every single part of this country and others. You don’t doubt he could have you three new cars by the time he hangs up the phone. 

“We can talk later about it if that’s okay,” You nod.  You would rather not discuss the accident at this moment. 

“Can I sign your cast?” Sam holds up a black sharpie. 

“No, Uncle Sam, me first.” Olivia frowns. 

“Have at it,” Natasha holds up her arm and grins when Olivia comes to write her name. She hasn’t completely mastered it yet but she does get the letter O and a squiggly line to accent it. That’s when the rest of the team volunteers and one by one Natasha’s cast is filled with words of wisdom and love. This is the first time in days you’ve seen Natasha so relaxed. Finally, it’s time for you and Wanda to sign. Wanda gives a polite decline but you’re the only person that can’t give a simple no. 

“I think I’m going to give my own message later,” You give a coy smile. If anything you’re still a bit uneasy with Natasha and you’re sure she is with you too. 

“Oh boy, you know what that means,” Tony grumbles. “Don’t tell me you’ll need a babysitter tonight.” He jokes. 

“It has been a long week,” Sam joins in on the teasing, and Natasha’s brow furrows. She’s not dumb she can understand what they’re implying. 

“That’s enough,” You quiet them down though your tone never changes. “Are we going to eat lunch anytime soon or are we here to talk about very private things?” You ask. “I don’t know man,” Sam laughs, and before he has time to react you tap your fingers across the counter sending a surge of magic directly to his hands. He jumps back, giving a small ouch, as he shakes them off. 

“Lunch is ready,” Wanda turns off the stove. Sharon lets Lily down onto her feet and she begins to race around the kitchen with Olivia running after her. 

“Girls, be careful,” You instruct and they run from the kitchen out to where Morgan is still playing. Plates are carried to the big dining table and when Natasha doesn’t sit next to you everyone does take notice. No one is bold enough to speak on it. 

You sit next to Wanda, engaging in small talk with her, as the rest of the team converses with Natasha. Mainly it’s the men giving her a rundown of Avenger’s operations. She’s interested in everything that’s been going on. Lunch goes by without a hitch and you dismiss yourself to go and feed the girls. Truthfully, you need a moment without Natasha there. 

“Since the Accords, it’s been an uphill battle but saving the world isn’t some political minefield,” Steve shakes his head. 

“The Accords,” Natasha repeats. She sits up in her chair. “What are those?”

“Documents signed by about 100,” Steve begins. 

“117,” Tony corrects him. 

“117 countries to regulate the activities of enhanced beings,” Steve continues. “Basically the Avengers are no longer a private organization. Technically we are at the mercy of the government and everyone else.”

“And how did that come about?” Natasha wipes her mouth with a napkin. 

The table is silent for a second conscious of Wanda’s feelings about the situation. She was young and she’s still so young. The youngest in the group besides Peter.  

“There was an accident in Lagos, Nigeria,” Wanda is the one to speak. “There was a mission. A bomb. I did what I had to do and it hurt a lot of people.” She knows she’s dumbing it down but it’s really all Natasha needs to know. 

“So you’re solely responsible for it?” Natasha looks over at her with a challenge. “I’m not seeing how those powers are a help to the team. Or any of us. Really it seems they’re only there to serve the people that wield them.” 

“Whoa,” Steve says and Sam gives a low whistle. 

“My powers have their cons,” Wanda says. “Y/n’s though, she’s used them for plenty of times. Like saving your life.” 

“You mean the accident?” Natasha tilts her head. 

“No,” Wanda says. “I mean if you can look past whatever this is you have going on you would realize she loves you. A lot. You’ve been home two days and you woke up with your guns blazing. Not a real surprise for you but I won’t allow you to tear down her character.” Wanda stands to go and find you. 

The rest of the table sits awkwardly, no one daring to ask what that was about before Natasha stands too. She walks in the opposite direction in search of an exit. She needs a bit of air. Maybe she overstepped and crossed a boundary. Maybe she should have been a bit nicer. What she doesn’t regret is how she feels. In her memory, she met Wanda one time before this, which wasn’t a good meeting. The woman slipping into her mind caused her a lot of pain. It’s something that she counts as one of her worst experiences. 

“Hey,” Steve steps out onto the veranda to stand beside her. He’s holding two glasses of water, passing one to Natasha, and keeping one for himself.

“Hey,” Natasha breathes. 

“That was interesting,” Steve looks over the wooded skyline. “What was that about really?”

Natasha sucks her teeth but never gives him an answer. She doesn't want another one of his speeches about how she should be a good person or give anyone else a chance. 

“Did you know how we met?” Natasha asks. It's a rhetorical question. Yet she still wants an answer. 

“I did,” Steve nods in understanding. 

“And you were able to get past that?” 

“I was,” Steve shrugs. “I’m a pretty forgiving person. You on the other hand hold a grudge.”

“Didn’t seem to work if I’m married to her,” Natasha grumbles. 

“Ah,” Steve breathes. “She told you and what happened? You blew up?” At Natasha’s look, he chuckles. 

“Don’t pretend you know me, Steve Rogers.” Natasha sets down her glass next to her feet. 

“But I do,” Steve shakes his head. “You and y/n are a team. If you don’t listen to me maybe you can have Clint here to come and knock some sense into your thick head. He and y/n are like the only people you listen to.”

“Maybe I will give him a call,” Natasha relents. 

“You’re allowed to be angry, Romanoff, but if you don’t view her as your wife right now view her as your teammate,” Steve suggests. “I don’t know how that works for you but as your captain, I say get it together. I won’t have this on my team.”

“You can’t kick me off the team,” Natasha raises a brow. 

“I can’t,” Steve gives her that. “But I will be very disappointed if you don’t give yourself a chance. Memories or not. She’s there for you.” Steve leaves her to sit with her thoughts once again. Hopefully this time she understands that. 

****************************

Meanwhile, in the lounge, you and Wanda are sitting with the girls. Morgan and Olivia are having their own special tea party while Lily sits at your feet with a doll. You’re having a private conversation with her. Wanda recounted the conversation with Natasha to you. 

“I have no words,” You sigh. “I want to give it a chance. She hasn’t been home very long. I think with time maybe she’ll see?” You don’t say names and you don’t give many contexts in case the very attentive three-year-old across from you picks up on it. 

“I understand,” Wanda rests a hand on your knee. “Through all of that don’t hesitate to come to me.”

You nod silently. “I want to talk to Tony or someone about my powers.” You confess to her. You avoid her gaze before forcing yourself to look into her concerned green eyes. “The accident happened so fast and we both know my shield works instantly. It’s most of the time an unconscious fear thing but I’ve learned to control it since HYDRA.”

“What are you thinking?”

“Maybe it was the hormones?” You wonder aloud. You were preparing your body for IVF and it seems a bit farfetched but you’re not exactly sure. “I’ve kept her safe before and that’s the only thing that’s been different lately. I don’t understand?” You look down at your hands. “I know she blames me.” You lower your tone. “I don’t have answers for her either.”

“It’s called an accident for a reason,” Wanda reminds you. 

“Even still,” You can’t fathom any of it. “What if the girls were in the car? What if they were hurt too?”

“They weren’t and they’re both perfectly fine,” Wanda points over to Olivia who is pouring herself another pretend tea to drink. “You can’t keep thinking about what happened and beating yourself up about it.” 

“I know,” You nod. You can feel a familiar warmth through your body and you turn to find Natasha standing nearby. She’s been watching you. 

“I’m ready,” She speaks curtly. Truth be told you’re a bit surprised she wants to come home with you. 

“Yeah, yeah,” You look down at Lily. “Let me say goodbye to everyone else.” You stand to go and gather your things. You look back to Wanda. “Be nice.” You warn your sister. Wanda’s not one for confrontation but she’s also not one to stand down from a fight. They don’t speak until you leave the room. 

“What you said about her earlier,” Natasha raises her chin. “About saving me what did you mean?” 

Wanda stands, walking over to another side of the room, where the girls can't hear. She expects Natasha to follow and she does. Though she keeps a comfortable guarded distance.

“A couple of years ago,” Wanda says. “There was a mission you had in some part of Brazil.”

“What? The one where we got the girls?” Natasha questions. 

“That’s the one,” Wanda frowns. “It was another place like Hydra. Experiments and things. I don’t know the full details but you two along with Steve and Sam had been appointed to that area. Something happened and someone aimed some kind of magical weapon at you. It was supposed to kill you and instead, Y/n absorbed it. That’s when you found the girls and their mother. Y/n held on until you remained safe at the hospital. She passed out for a week after that.” 

This clearly makes Natasha uncomfortable to think about. 

“She’s cared about you for a long time, Natasha,” Wanda finishes just as you step into the room. 

“This makes me look like an asshole,” Natasha admits aloud.

“It does,” Wanda agrees.

“I have the car ready,” You pick up Lily before calling over to Olivia. “Morgan, we will set up a playdate with your mother soon.” You kiss the little brunette on her forehead. She waves you goodbye. 

Natasha doesn’t give Wanda a goodbye or anything. She walks to the car in silence. She was sitting in the front seat with a frown on her face. 

How was she supposed to feel now? 

************************

When you get home, Natasha asks to see one of the family photo albums. You show her and give her time to absorb all of the information. She seems a bit overwhelmed by it all and excuses herself to her bedroom where she doesn’t come out for the rest of the day. 

You talked about a lot of things with her. The biggest shocker was that she had been breastfeeding Lily. It still seems surreal to her and yet it makes sense. The constant soreness in her chest is understandable. Even as she stands here in front of the mirror, looking at herself, inspecting the changes in her body. She still looks relatively the same. Save for the purple bruising around her ribs and the cast she looks the same. 

She slips off her bra, looking down at her breasts, noting the heaviness of them. She doesn’t know anything about breastfeeding. She also doesn't know how to express the milk for Lily to drink. She’s much too embarrassed and distrustful to ask you. Though she feels it would be a huge help to pump. Throwing on a shirt, she walks to your bedroom, where she finds the pump on her side of the bed. She grabs it. Rushing back into her bedroom, she closes and locks the door behind her. She opens her phone, finding a video to guide her through. 

“Position the breast shield over your breast,” The woman in the video gives clear directions. Natasha does as told, struggling with the right position before she feels she has it. She turns it on, groaning in shock when the suction is a bit more than she’s used to. She stops the pumping, noting that her sensitivity doesn't help, as she tries to prepare herself again. Once she feels that she is ready, she turns it on again, breathing through her nose, as the machine does what it’s supposed to. 

For a while, Natasha doesn’t see anything and she feels as if none of what you said is true. Until a small droplet of liquid gold drops into the bottle. Natasha can’t take her eyes off the machine as she watches more droplets, rather feels the warm, tingling sensation leave her breasts. Actual tears come to her eyes as she realizes this is something she’s been able to do for her baby. 

Damn the Red Room and damn Dreykov. 

Here alone in this bedroom, she realizes her life is vastly different than what she thought it would be. 

[sporadically-writing]

Howdy, I got one for u

But maybe some headcannons for Cassidy with an s/o that calls him when they can so they can hear his voice because who wouldn't wanna hear that nice voice (maybe add in that the reader doesn't like to admit that they're infatuated with him because of his flirting lol)

But eventually he catches on to why they do it and what do you think his reaction would be?

Cassidy w/ S/O Who Loves His Voice

I love this, I love this, I love this!

Cole is away a lot. Not enough for it to be a problem, after all you are away a lot as well. Such is the nature of your lives as agents.

Besides the two of you had always done your best communicating with each other and spending time together while neither of you are on missions.

However, that doesn’t mean that neither of you get lonely when the other is gone. Especially if the mission has been going on as long as Cole’s has.

It would have been easy to just text him but, unfortunately for you, you couldn’t communicate with him until his mission was complete. As much as you hated them, the protocols were there to keep him (and any other agent on similar assignments) safe. You could endure missing him if it meant he came home safe.

You had a friend in administration who, with a smirk on their face, always told you when your significant cowboy was on his way home. They were the one you had confided in long before you and Cole entered a relationship. They knew, even more than Cassidy (and likely even yourself), just how head over heels you were for him.

To their credit, they only teased you a little.

Ok.

Maybe a lot.

But you two were friends and that’s what you do. The point is, they always let you know when you could contact your cowboy.

You usually just texted him in the past, figuring he was probably tired and wanted to rest on the way home, but… it had been a long mission.

You called him instead. To your surprise he answered.

“Darlin’?” You would be lying if you said you didn’t immediately start blushing. Cole’s voice, all saccharine tone and honeyed words, had always had an effect on you. And you know what they say about absence and what it does to the heart.

The two of you talked about his mission. It went well darlin’ he was just tired, don’t you worry about him none.

And you talked until it was clear you were starting to fall asleep.

“Honeybee, if you’re tired we can hang up so you can rest, ya know. I’ll be back when you wake up.”

“No!”

Shit. You answered too quickly. Cole Cassidy might not be considered the brightest bulb in the drawer but he was plenty smart, occasionally too smart for his, and your, own good.

Like now.

Unseen by you, the cowboy smirked, he knew. You had been taking a little longer to answer him all night and even before you were tired. Your own voice had taken on that lovesick quality it usually did when talking to him. He knew it well, he’s used it around you a fair number of times as well.

It did not take Cole long to connect the dots. You just wanted to listen to his voice. He’d been doing most of the talking, which made sense at the beginning when discussing the mission but after that the conversation still managed to be in his court.

You missed him and would rather stay awake to hear his voice than get the sleep you needed.

Well, if that isn’t adorable.

But, Cole would use that information (lovingly) against you later. But right now, you and he were both tired. He’d use his powers for good first.

“Well then,” he began, making his speech softer and slower. He just sort of talked like that for a while until he was sure he had lulled you to sleep.

“Darlin’? Sweetheart?” He hummed contently to himself, “See ya soon Sweetpea.”

Then, not hanging up the phone, he leaned his head back, closed his eyes and fell asleep the rest of the way home.

Request Rules/Character Sheet

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[dairy-farmer]

Hi!

So, I love very very much sweet is the lullaby over your nest and I just want to know moreeee

Like, what do they do with the baby? Tim gets to live in the manor with his pack or he goes to another place? What are Damian's thoughts now that he knows his pack omega didn't want him bc of the loss of his puppy? What does Steph do knowing his ex boyfriend needed her and she took Robin away from him when he most needed her? What about Cass? Did she knew? And Dick, will he kinda step up now that he wants to change his relationship with Tim for the better?

answered out of order:

sweet is the lullaby over your nest is definitly on the more emotionally heavy end of the spectrum of fics ive written and i ended it in a way where i tried to communicate that the entirety of the family was going to be in for a REALLY bad time once everyone finally understood what had been happening.

tim is in a very precarious place, he's been distant from the pack for awhile so as for him staying in the manor or leaving i definitely think if i continued that would be the main conflict that would distressing the pack- the uncertainty of tim possibly leaving. because tim wants his baby to be safe, that's non negotiable to him. but if jason is coming around around the manor and possibly crossing paths with his baby then he'll up and leave if not to his own apartment then to san francisco. also tim likely still has lingering fears that maybe bruce will side with jason or that he might stake a claim on tim's pup. omegaverse legal fuckery means that bruce COULD essentially file for custody of tim's pup and tim has that in the back of his mind because bruce has loose moral and if he thought tim might leave them then he might file to keep danny in order to get tim to stay with them so that would be tim's fear during the fallout (that move would also probably be something bruce considers later on before someone tears into him, probably dick or alfred, for even considering it)

tim's pup is also going to struggle with some pretty severe attachment issues- he hasn't gotten a chance to bond, he's been in an orphanage until then, he has basically been emotionally neglected during a vital developmental time because there simply weren't resources to nurture pups after bludhaven. so there'd be some complex issues in store for tim where he greatly missed his baby and is desperatly attatched but tim's baby is scared and confused and maybe struggling to develop a bond with his mama and the instincts are making it worse and more confusing. so sad times for tim and his baby where they're desperately trying to form this connection years later after they were separated. all while tim is trying to make sure they don't get separated again.

for cass and dick their reactions can be summarized in a word: gutted. dick would definitely spiral terribly before forcing himself to get it together once its clear that bruce is borderline catatonic because bruce would NOT deal well with what he's learned at all. maybe he could twist his brain around enough to find excuses for jason's actions, for finding a way to say that jason was different from murders or mercenaries. but he can't excuse or ignore jason's actions with this, that he has to DO something about this, punish jason for this like how batman would demand he punish him. that if jason were a different cape, if he were a league member and this had been discovered then bruce wouldn't hesitate then but this? its an "ethical dilemma" of bruce's nightmares. if he punishes jason he might lose him if he doesn't he might lose tim, or maybe he'll lose both whether he does something or not. bruce is just trying to find a way to keep his family together but that's simply not possible in this case.

cass would feel gutted because she KNEW something was off about tim, knew he was in immense amount of pain but she'd chosen to leave gotham anyway. dick is ruined because his brother, who he'd been having a tense relationship with for over a year, had been raped, had had a baby and he he hadn't told dick. even before their relationship went to shit he hadn't told dick which meant that maybe their problems had been deeper and goingt on for longer than dick had realized. but tim had told him danny was HIS baby, he'd smiled at him so sweet and dazed and his scent brimming with joy.

even though things had been so rough between them he'd told dick about his baby, he'd SHOWN dick his baby and...dick has done wrong by tim. he's been failing him for a while, and clearly longer than he'd realized so when everything spills out dick is firmly in tim's corner because he's not messing up with him again. he's not going to make tim feel alone ever again, even if tim hates him, dick will be on his side. dick had messed up with jason, maybe that relationship had shivered a long time ago and there was no recovering it because he hadn't avenged him but tim- he can still do right by tim.

damian feels neglected, had for a long time because tim was an omega and BY INSTINCT that meant he should've been damian's caretaker. his provider. he should be the one defending and protecting him from other pack members hassling him, taking food from him, or attempting to harm him because omegas are the den keepers who protect the young, ill, and defenseless and tim hadn't. he hadn't done his job, he never responded to damian's pup cries and outright avoided him at times. he defied instincts to avoid caring for damian and so that of course created bitter feelings for damian, when tim had been disressed and clicking a clear call of 'pup! come to me!' and damian had responded, STILL he'd been brushed aside for what clearly held all of tim's affections. a younger, smaller, weaker pup. a pup that was barely weaned and the omega had chosen THAT over him. i don't think the pack would discolose to damian the circumstances, i think they'd try to shield that knowledge from him given his age but that would just lead to more problems and breed more resentment.

steph would also be in sort of the same boat as dick only that she'd been voicing her issues. she'd been upset and hurt that tim had yet to forgive her or even hear her out about her faking her death or anything from teh last year, she, like cass, had noticed tim had changed but had thought it was just HER he was treating like that. stephanie has a tendency to see things as being sort of her-centric so her realizing that she hadn't been the root of any issues, that she probably hadn't even been a thought for what tim had been struggling with and that tim likely hadn't had faith or trust in her for A WHILE since she hadn't known anything about this would definitely put her a weird limbo over everything.

the situation with jason is definitly complex. because jason is in a situation where one of the things he considers to be the most deplorable things a person can do is now something he's guilty of, out of his mind or not that was still HIM. maybe some weird primal version but still him that was capable of and did that. jason has always been, to an extent suicidal after becoming red hood, if not passively suicidal. coming back to life and coming back in a way he could just feel was WRONG fucked him up in ways he never really adressed, he just distracted himself from it. learning this definitely sends jason down a very dark place mentally. i think once everything starts spilling out jason leaves, doesn't explain himself, doesn't deal with the fall out he just leaves to put distance between himself and try to figure out what to do. i do think jason wants to die after learning what he's done. i think the level of revulsion he'd feel and the hatred he'd feel towards what has occurred would do something to him. jason doesn't believe rapists deserve second chances, he doesn't believe they can be rehabilitated or fixed and he doesn't believe they deserve to live. i do think maybe the only one that could maybe reach jason though his mental spiral would be roy. maybe dick calls roy because he knows jason might do something though he wasn't sure what. that exchange would definitely be a tough one once roy found him holed up somewhere. roy at that point would be trying to argue against jason's own self-destruction. i have thought about how their exchange would play out but its a tough piece of dialogue to really pin down.

jason saying how if he were anyone else, if he were just some random fuck from the street standing on a ledge that that roy wouldn't be trying so hard to talk him down, that he might even goad him to do it.

and roy doesn't deny that. he admits it. but he also admits that jason is different from other pieces of crap. that he tries to leave places better than he found them, that he has empathy for people that are otherwise discarded.

i think that roy's history with drug addiction and his path to recovery, him struggling with his own feelings of self hatred and the person he was would let him get to jason when he tells him that self forgiveness is bullshit. that thing he's read in self help books and pamphlets about learning to forgive your self are worthless to people like them. because roy knew that 'forgiving' himself for fucking himself up so bad wasn't what he needed. forgiveness felt too permissive, like he was basically giving himself a pass for the shitty things he did and the people he hurt and the things he did that he could never take back or fix. roy lays it out for jason and tells him that he owes it to the people he wronged to spend the rest of his life making up for it. even if it makes no difference, even if they never want to see him again- that's his punishment. he doesn't get to die and let himself off easy, he has to work.

the situation with danny would also be difficult but the one thing that jason and tim agree on whether they know it or not as that neither of them wants danny to know what he came from. jason has seen how fucked up kids produced from rape are, the way the light in them just...dies when they realize what they were born from. and tim knows that too. he knows the statistics, he knows the impact it will have on his pup's mental health and wellbeing at knowing. so for his sake, jason learns to swallow back this shredded pain at his chest when tim tells an older danny that his father is dead.

i don't think that jason would want the pup to know him or view him as a father. i think he'd find it disrespectful to tim especially since tim wanted nothing to do with him.

i think jason would always be in the background, trying to make up for something that's impossible to make up for. doubling his effort to keep gotham clean and safe so that tim's pup doesn't have to worry about getting snatched off a playground or felt up by a dirty cop or any of the things that jason saw or went through as a kid.

i think he'd try. just smelling him that one time left jason struggling with his emotions and instincts and everything. whenever tim would be out or around gotham jason would leave the city to give them space, he''d be in an airport and see stuffed animals and toys and things that would've called to him as a kid and..in weakness he'd mail them knowing that tim would probably throw them out but just not being able to fight the need to...provide something.

he stumbles a lot in this new life purpose of seeking to repent. he offends tim by offering him money, angers him by sending clothes, makes the mistake of trying to talk to tim about things that don't relate to their caped duties because tim does continue to cooperate and work with jason he just won't allow any talk of his pup and the fact that tim continued to work with jason makes everyone and especially jason uncomfortable because it just feels wrong.

everything following the reveal is definitely complicated and difficult for everyone involved and its something that would make for a very long fic to do it.

but like i mentioned in the notes i think after years and years and tim's pup grows up to resemble jason in more than one way i think its possible that maybe when tim see jason the first thing he feels isn't hatred. i don't think its ever quite indifference either i think its sort of an 'okay. this is how things are.'

depite being tagged jaytim i don't think it ever can really bloom to that, just too much hurt and pain is tied up in between them. i think if jason ever developed feelings he'd hate himself for them and if tim ever developed feelings he'd be distressed and have sort of a deep mental distress over it. i think it would distress and freak the two of them out too much. them having a pup together however also ties them together in a way the two of them can never really untangle. maybe its why the two of them never really feel comfortable getting mates or siring other pups. tim because danny's birth was deeply traumatic to him in a way he never fully processes and jason because "starting a family" and playing at happy family feels too much like he'd be mocking what he did.

in a way titans tower continues to haunt them for the rest of their lives even if danny grows up happy and better than they ever thought they were each capable of.

i think both of them struggle deeply with it, both of them wish more than anything that it had never happened but at the same time see this sweet and happy child and feel twisted and conflicted about it.

the tragedy for jason and tim is that the only person who can really understand their pain is each other