#I need ratchet to remind me

[silveryao]

Kids, go to bed

[tinydefector]

Human's effects

More a silly little thing that I had to write out.

Warnings: talks about sex, xenophilia, kinks

Word count: 3k

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Human Effects 2 - characters

Request are open

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There were a lot of things that fascinated the cybertronians over humans. Their size, body types, skin tones and those soft they are. 

So many of them become so fascinated over the fact that such small and fragile creatures don't have plating to protect themselves but only wear soft fabrics. 

And it slowly leads a lot of Cybertronians to realising they were Xenophiles. 

A list of kinks and fetishes cybertronians discovered from it. 

-size kink 

-skin fetish 

- hair pulling 

- silk and ribbon play

- cum inflation 

-breeding

-pet play

- vore

-fluid play and consumption 

- spiking warming

- Heart and spark syncing 

- new spike and Valve modifications to test on their human lover

There's originally a lot of unknowns about humans, and cybertronians are rather intrigued, for one the first times the a lot of the crew of lost light had encountered them was on black market and high priced pets, and companions. 

There were exceptions such as Perceptor, Ratchet and Megatron who had been around humans before but for a lot of the bots this was their first time seeing them. that is until they are assigned a human communications, relations Ambassador/ liaison. 

But after the black market incident it had led a lot of bots into research over humans. And it just spirals more with them discovering some rather dark history with cybertronians keeping humans as playthings. And finding out their ‘interface equipment’ isn't that different from their own, just more organic and smaller.  

A late night of drinking at swerve slowly devolved into conversation over their local human. Brainstorm sits nursing his drink of engex while he and others of the ship chat away. "So does it fascinate anyone else over the fact that humans don't have natural plating or any kind of protection for their squishy form?" He brings up, he himself had fallen down the rabbit hole of human porn but didn't quite know how to breach the subject with anyone else. 

"Oh Primus, look who decided to join us, thought you were holding up with your Conjunx Chrome!" Swerve said with a chuckle, placing more drinks down. He hopped up onto one of the bar stools and leaned in eagerly, His attention flicks to Brainstorm. "You bring up a good point, Brainstorm," Swerve replied.

 "Those squishy humans are really something else, ain't they? No armour, no defences - I'd be scared outta my circuits if I was just soft protoform all the time!, like i’m so surprised squishy hasn't been stepped on yet" 

Rodimus nodded in agreement. "Yet they've managed to survive just fine so far. There's obviously more to them than meets the eye. Like i've seen some of the things our ambassador can do like the strange stretching"

"I dunno," Skids chimed in. "Seems pretty fraggin' reckless if you ask me. One good shot and it lights out!" 

Rewind shuddered. "Ugh, don't remind me. Just thinking about all those organics and tubes and who knows what else squishing around in there makes my fuel tank turn." He made a dramatic churning sound effect.

Riptide laughed. "I saw a nature documentary once about these hairless ape creatures the humans evolved from. Now THOSE guys were squishy."

“What in Primus have you been watching?!” 

“some old earth docs that Percy’s has, bots got a lot of info on Terra and the planet's history” The bots shared a collective laugh at the image. Swerve took a swig of his energon. "Frag, maybe there's something to be said about living on the edge like that! Sure keeps things interesting, its still strange that they are somehow one of the top predators of their planet yet are smaller than half the things they eat"

Brainstorm goes quiet for a moment. "Have you seen how flexible they are?"

Swerve nearly spit out his energon. "Whoa hey, I don't need those kinds of vivid imagery floatin' around my processor thank you very much!, keep the squishy interface vids to yourself" he said, waving his hands animatedly. 

"You have to admit, the way those fleshbags can contort themselves is pretty impressive," Skids added. "Must come in handy for.. maintenance." He waggled his optical ridges suggestively.

Brainstorm nodded pensively. "Indeed. Their non-metal structure allows for feats we could never replicate by ourselves." He took a sip of his energon. "Always makes me curious what other evolutionary adaptations they've developed to compensate for such vulnerability. The potential for scientific discovery is endlessly fascinating with their species and ancestors."

Riptide shrugged. "As long as they don't expect ME to try any of their bone-breaking yoga moves," he laughed. "This chassis is meant for tough stuff, not Twister!"

"You think they would be soft, you know if you interface with one?" Brainstorm asked while downing his drink, the engex was slowly going to his processor loosening his lips. 

"Oh don't give me that look I know for a fact you all have thought about doing with a human at least once! Rodimus I know for a fact you eye them up everytime our little liaison walks past you" He calls out Rodimus. 

Rodimus nearly choked on his energon in an attempt to look innocent. "Wh-what? That's not - I never -" he sputtered in protest, flustered optics darting around at the other bots.

Brainstorm smirked as Rodimus squirmed uncomfortably on the stool. "Oh please, don't try to deny it, Captain. You're about as subtle as a combiner in a supply closet." 

"Roddy's got the hots for squishy, who knew!" Swerve giggled uncontrollably. 

Skids nudged Riptide playfully. "Hey, maybe we got a xenophiliac on the ship!" 

"Alright alright, knock it off you glitches," Rodimus growled, though the blue flush across his face said otherwise. "I was just... curious, that's all. They ARE a strange species."

Swerve tried to contain his laughter. "Ohhh I bet you are more than curious, if you catch my drift!, wanna get up close and personal" More raucous peals of laughter from the group.

Brainstorm stroked his chin in thought. "They do feel intriguingly delicate. I wonder if their flexible frames would be more pleasurable to interface with than our own rigid forms..."

"Have you seen videos of them, they stretch a lot, like a lot, like I know human skin is resilient but i didn't think they were that resilient " Brainstorm states remembering some of the videos he had seen online. Other bots peak up intrigued. 

Swerve choked again as his fuel tank nearly turned inside out. "Brainstorm! That's... more than I needed to visualise, thank you very much." 

Skids seemed a bit less phased. "Fleshbags gettin' their twist on, huh? Can't say I'm not curious now." 

Even Rodimus seemed intrigued despite his earlier protests. "Resilient is an   understatement. I've seen some of the contortions that humans can do - it's astounding that their protoforms don't tear apart." 

Brainstorm nodded enthusiastically. "Precisely! With the right lubrication and technique, I hypothesise an interface with a limber human form would provide entirely novel sensory data."

Riptide shifted uncomfortably. "Not sure I'm ready to dive into the fleshy deep end just yet.”  

Swerve shot him a sly grin. "Aw c'mon Rip, live a little! Where's your sense of adventure?" 

Rodimus tried to steer the subject elsewhere. "Let's maybe change topics before someone needs a wipe down. Or Primus forbid, Magnus overhears you lot"

"I hope I did not hear what my processor just heard" Ultra Magnus states while staring down at the group of drinking mechs. A Lot of bots in the bar snicker at the group getting in trouble. 

"Come on Sir, get that wrench out of you aft, join us!" Skids called out.

Swerve let out an audible squeak at Ultra Magnus's stern tone, almost dropping his engex in panic. "U-Um, Magnus sir! Fancy seeing you here. We were just, uh, discussing..." 

He shot desperate optics at the others for help, but they all seemed to shrink down in their seats under Magnus's disapproving glare. 

Rodimus flashed an uneasy grin. "Just having a friendly debate about alien species, you know how it is. Brainstorm was bringing up some, er, interesting biological points..." 

Ultra Magnus sighed wearily. "I'd rather not know the details, thank you. Some topics are best left undiscussed in public."

The whole bar erupted into laughter at the group's misfortune. "Ah lay off em Magnus!" one patron called out. "They're just havin' fun!"

Another bot piped up. "Yeah, loosen up that rusty chassis and join us! One drink won't hurt." 

Magnus scowled, unamused. But as the encouragement grew louder, he glanced around hesitantly...

Swerve spotted an opening. "C'mon Magnus, live a little! I'll even give you a two-for-one special." He flashed a hopeful grin.

The enforcer grumbled but his resolve was cracking. Against his better judgement, he pulled up a stool. "One drink." Swerve whooped and poured him a double.

They cheer as Magnus sits down to drink with them. Skids speak up. "So brainstorm you saying you'd hook up with a fleshy, get nice and personal with a human" he calls out with a laugh.

Brainstorm leaned forward eagerly. "Why of course! The pursuit of scientific knowledge knows no boundaries. Though upon further review, direct interfacing with an organic might require certain, ah, safety protocols." 

Skids peered at him suspiciously. "Exactly what kind of 'research' are you plannin' on doing Brainy?"

Swerve nudged Riptide with a smirk. "I'll bet ya 20 shanix Brainstorm's just trying to find an excuse to get jiggy with the humies!"

Riptide snorted. "No way, I ain't takin' THAT bet!" 

Rodimus dropped his face in his palms with a groan. "can we PLEASE stop picturing Brainstorm fragging humans?" 

Ultra Magnus coughed on his engex, catching the comment he'd really rather not have heard. 

But Brainstorm paid them no mind, lost in scientific contemplation. "The human capacity for sensory input and feedback would provide a rich study on cross-species interface protocol adaptability..."

"INTERFACE PROTOCOLS?!" Swerve shrieked. The table erupted into howls of laughter at Magnus's deeply uncomfortable expression. It was going to be a LONG night indeed.

“Primus Brainstorm you kinky fragger” 

"Fine then everyone servo up if your not at least somewhat curious or thought about it at least once" Brainstorm calls out to all of Swerve's bars patrons

"Oooh, Brainstorm's putting us all on the spot!" Swerve giggled with gleeful mischief. He raised his servo without hesitation. 

Skids was quick to follow suit, slamming his half-empty glass down. "Frag it, I'll admit it! Those soft squishy bodies got me wonderin' what else they're good for." 

To everyone's surprise, Rodimus sheepishly lifted a servo as well, avoiding optic contact with Ultra Magnus. Riptide shrugged and joined in the show of servos, if only to blend in. 

The majority of bots in the bar started raising their hands amid roars of laughter and drunken encouragement. Only a select few hesitated, shooting nervous glances at Magnus. 

The enforcement officer's expression cycled through outrage, resignation and back to outrage as his gaze swept over the forest of raised servos. "I cannot condone such deviant interest in alien biologies," he protested, voice stiff. 

But as more servos stayed stubbornly aloft, Magnus sagged with a weary sigh. After a long moment, he slowly, begrudgingly raised one massive hand as well. 

The bar erupted into ear-splitting cheers. Swerve howled with glee, banging his fists on the counter. "Look's like we've all got a bit of xenophile in us after all! Even you, Magnus my mech!" 

Magnus buried his faceplate in his servos as Brainstorm cackled maniacally. Once the bar settles back down its Swerve who speaks up with a smirk on his faceplate. "So... which one of you charming mechs are gonna be the first to try and get our lovely Liaison?" He teases. 

Rodimus sputtered into his drink at Swerve's question, flushing brighter. "W-what? I never said anything about actually doing anything!, it's all just fantasies Swerve!" he protested in a hissed tone. 

Skids rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, well they do have a cute lil' figure. Bet they'd be a wild ride..." 

Swerve grinned slyly at Rodimus. "Aw c'mon Captain, don't tell me you ain't thought about it at least once! I bet they'd be real fun to break in, get all soft and pliable..." 

Rodimus smacked Swerve upside the helm. "Knock it off!" He shot a pleading glance at Ultra Magnus as if begging for rescue.

But unexpectedly, Brainstorm was the one who spoke up. "While the organic's flexibility is intriguing, directly interfacing could introduce unknown health risks or cultural taboos. Outside the fact our people have kept humans as pets and companions in the past. A more ethical approach would be gaining consent for strictly observational research."  

Riptide frowned. "Not sure the liaison would go for that either Storm" 

Swerve sighed dreamily. "Just imagine wrapping those soft squishy bits all around you though... bet they'd feel amazing..."  

"SWERVE." Magnus's warning tone silenced the cheeky bartender immediately. He turned back to Rodimus with a sigh. "Despite certain... Curiosities, directly engaging an organics  such a manner would be unwise, dangerous even, not to mention our form are much larger and could harm a human."

Rewind nodded gratefully at Magnus, relieved the subject was shifting. But the mischievous glint in Swerve's optic suggested his teasing wasn't over yet. It was going to be a long night indeed.

"Relax Mags I'm just riling these drunk mech up. Unless you're interested in our sweet little ambassador" he teases, making other bots choke on their drinks. 

Ultra Magnus's icy glare could have frozen Swerve's energon. "Need I remind you this conversation is highly inappropriate and unprofessional," he said sternly. 

But to everyone's surprise, Rodimus let out an undignified snort of laughter. "As if Magnus would ever break protocol like that! He'd probably recite the entire Autobot code of conduct while fragging."

The whole bar erupted in howls of mirth at the mental image. 

Swerve was nearly rolling on the floor. "Can you imagine?! 'Paragraph 3, subsection B clearly states interfacing with sentient aliens requires prior diplomatic clearance forms in triplicate!'" he cried in a mockingly stiff voice. 

Skids were wiping away fuel tears. "Primus if MR. RULES AND REGS ever broke the rules, it'd be one for the history archives!" 

Riptide jabbed Skids in the side. "Ten shanix says he'd have them memorising regulations the whole time!" 

"Twenty shanix says they'd run screaming first!" Swerve shot back. 

The bets and ribbing escalated as more mechs joined in. Across the table, Rodimus shoved Magnus playfully. "C'mon Magnus, live on the wild side for once!" 

Magnus's rumbling huff was the only response. Watching his rigid commander finally loosening up filled Swerve with delight. Somehow, some way, he'd find a way to get Magnus to break protocol yet! It was shaping up to be the best night ever.

"Ohhh let's make this fun. I list some bots and you say if you think they would hook up with a human" Riptide states. "Rung, Drift and Ratchet" he calls out the names.

Swerve let out a dramatic gasp. "Ooh spicy!"

"Rung is definitely curious but way too professional. Might let loose over a couple cubes of engex though!" 

Skids broke into hysterics at Riptide's suggestions. "Rung and a HUMAN?! Rung doesn't even touch his OWN interface panel!" 

Rodimus snorted. "Can you imagine? 'My dear, it seems you're experiencing some psychological interfacing blockers. Please, tell me how that makes you feel.'" 

"Drift guy's definitely intrigued by other species, if you know what I mean. Plus he's artsy so he'd probably appreciate the 'aesthetic'." Swerve responds

"Drift might go for it, he's open to new experiences," Rodimus mused with a grin. 

Brainstorm nodded thoughtfully. "Indeed, his spiritual philosophies suggest an openness to cultural exchange that others may lack. I think if he and ratchet weren't together its something he might try" 

"Ratchet. bah! As if that grumpy old rust-bucket would try anything so illogical. Unless she's a doctor too and starts quoting his favourite protocols... then all bets are off!" Skids laughed. 

"Ratchet? Nah, too much of a hard aft. He'd just bitch about human biohazards the whole time," Swerve giggled. 

"Well if Drift was interested I'm pretty sure that mecn could get ratchet to do anything with the bat of his optics" Rodimus remarks.

The table erupted in raucous laughter. Swerve took a playful bow. "Alright bring on the next victims!" 

Riptide rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, how about...Tailgate, Cyclonus, and Whirl?" 

Swerve cackled wickedly. "Tailgate would be way too nervous but he'd try for his Conjunx Cyclonus. Cyclonus would 100% use his broody vibes to charm her pants off but only for Tailgate. And Whirl? He doesn't interface, he destroys! So that liaison better watch her interfacing ports around that lunatic!" 

Chromedome interjects stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Tailgate would be way too nervous and shy, I think. He'd probably short-circuit just from holding hands!" 

Riptide nodded. "Cyclonus has always struck me as the kinky type. Wonder if he's into those squishy bits like Brainstorm thinks..."

"Whirl would frag anything that moves," Rodimus interjected with a grimace. "But I don't think an organic would survive the experience!"

Brainstorm stroked his chin. "Indeed, Whirl's interfacing protocol subroutines seem rather...enthusiastic. Consent might be a fleeting concept. Better to observe from a safe distance." 

Swerve shuddered. "Ugh, don't make me picture that psycho getting 'friendly' with a human! I'm tryna keep my fuel down y'know." 

The names continue being dropped. 

 " First Aid! I don't know if the medic-bot's got it in him to break the rules. But I betcha if he did, he'd be real gentle and caring-like. He'd have them feelin' better than new in no time!" 

Skids grinned devilishly. "Yeah but would they feel better? Aid's so straight and narrow I bet he'd put em in stasis lock from boredom!" 

"Now Perceptor on the other hand..." Swerve tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Bookish type, but you know there's a passionate scientist in there waiting to experiment. Think he'd go slow and methodical, really take his time 'exploring the specimen'." 

"his thirst for organic sciences might overpower his good sense," Rewind remarks. 

“optimus prime, Prowl and bumblebee ” Chromedome interjects with his own inquiries. 

Swerve pretended to wipe away exhaust fumes. "Primus help me, this is gonna be good... Optimus Prime is obviously Mister Morality himself, but you know he's got a secret wild side under all that virtue signalling. Just imagine how freaky he could get with some alien nookie!" 

The bar erupted in incredulous, drunken laughter and cheers. Swerve grinned impishly. 

"As for Prowl, I'm telling you that stick up his tailpipe is begging to come out and play. One roll in the berth with a naughty fleshy and he'd loosen up reeeal nice!" 

"And Bee? He's a sweet kid, but you know what they say, it's always the quiet ones! Between his cute lil' face and that tight chassis, he'd have the human lining up to frag that glitch right into stasis!" 

The bar absolutely lost it, bots falling over each other in drunken hysterics. Even Mirage was struggling not to fall off his chair. Swerve took an exaggerated bow as his audience howled. 

"Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all cycle! Now who's ready for the next round?" More shouts and clanking glasses answered his call. It was shaping up to be the wildest night at Swerve's yet!

 Magnus dropping Megatron's name that really sent them over the edge.

"Megatron?! With the liaison?!" Rodimus howled with laughter, nearly spitting out his drink. "That's the funniest thing I've heard all cycle!" 

But Swerve wasn't done. "Megatron? Now THAT'S an image! 'You pathetic fleshbag, you DARE try to mount the great Megatron?! Grovel before my interface array!'" 

Magnus adds more information which makes everyone surprised " He and the ambassador are rather close" He states

Rewind speaks up from Chromedome’s side. "Y'know... they do have a certain chemistry. I'll bet under all that scowling and chipped armour there's a softie just waitin' for the right tender touch to melt his spark. And they have got sass to spare  bet they could handle Megatron's brooding and snarl!" 

"Twenty shanix says he'd have them trembling and beggin' for mercy in no time flat!" Skids bet eagerly. 

"You're on!" crowed Riptide. "But I still think Perceptor's the real dark horse..."

[in1-nutshell]

How would the tfp autobots and decepticons react to the toy furby

Ooohhh! I remember furby's, granted they were a bit creepy in my opinion. These are a bit shorter than what I usually write, I was trying to get most of the characters in. Let me know if these needed more writing in them.

Hope you enjoy everyone's reactions to the furby's

Autobots and Decepticons reaction to seeing a furby

SFW, mentions of blasters

TFP

How did this all happen? One word to simplify everything: Miko. She thought it would be funny to start leaving these little menaces around the base and to get the bots reaction to it. How did she acquire these furbies, don’t ask any questions. Jack tried to stop her, but she successfully bribed him by promising to send him the video of Arcee’s reaction. Raf promised to edit the videos to be at their finest. Operation: Furby reaction is a go.

Autobots

Optimus Prime

He notices the first furby as it sits innocently near one of the control panels. At first, he thinks that one of those ‘birds’ had entered the base and tried to move the thing.

“Hello little one. How did you get in here?”--Optimus

“SSSQQQQUAAAAKKKK!”--Furby

“I see… Ratchet did you let the creature inside the base?”--Optimus

“Did I do what now?”--Ratchet

Then it suddenly started moving and squawking its native tongue that may or may not have startled the Prime a bit.

He doesn’t mind the furby too much… but does sense something about it.

Ratchet

He notices when he sees Prime slightly startled by something.

He goes to investigate and nearly squashes the Furby thinking it was a scraplet.

“Ratchet! Do not harm the creature!”--Optimus

“Optimus with all due respect, that thing is definitely some sort of scraplet! It might be a different type of mutation but look at it!”--Ratchet

“Ratchet—”--Optimus

“It even looks evil Optimus! I’m getting my wrenches.”--Ratchet

“Ratchet!”—Optimus

He does not care about Optimus’s code on not killing living being. That thing looked at him weird and he is going to end it before it eventually causes trouble.

Bumblebee

Nearly has a whiplash when he sees the little thing. He also thinks it’s a scraplet at first, but slightly calms down recognizing it as one of those human toys he saw on commercial with Raf.

Everything is fine… until it started screeching and moving by itself.

“SSSSSSSCCCCCRRRREEEEAAACCCHHHH!”--Furby

“BBBBBBBEEEEEEEPPPPPPP! (AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!)—Bumblebee

Does not like furby’s at all. Claims that they were trying to speak to him.

Arcee

Her encounter with the Furby is short.

Mainly because she saw something move out of the corner of her optic and blasted the poor thing to bits.

“Huh? What on Cybertron—”--Arcee

“SCCCCRREEECCH—”—Furby remains

Blaster firing intensifies.

She doesn’t know what that thing was, but it started it.

Bulkhead

He is running to see where Bumblebee is after hearing him screaming. He has his wrecking ball at the ready and ready to comm in back up if necessary.

“BBBBBBBEEEEEEPPPPPP! (AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!)--Bumblebee

“What is it!?”--Bulkhead

“BBBEEEPP BEP BEEEEPPP (THAT THING RIGHT THERE!)--Bumblebee

“SCCRRREEEAAACCHHH!”--Furby

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! SCRAPLET! SCRAPLET! SCRAPLET!!!”—Bulkhead

Absolutely loathe those things. It reminds him too much of the scraplet incident that happened. He would be swinging his wrecking ball if it hadn’t gotten stuck in the wall.

Wheeljack

He is running as soon as he hears Bulkhead and Bumblebee screaming. His katanas are out as is ready for some slicing and dicing.

“BEEEEEPP BEEEEPPPP! (PRIMUS ITS MOVING CLOSER!)--Bumblebee

“SCRAPLET! SCRAPLET! SCRAPLET!”--Bulkhead

“Where’s the danger!?”--Wheeljack

“BEEPPP! (ITS MOVING!)--Bumblebee

“SCRREEEECCCHH—”--Furby

“There, its sliced in half. Huh. You two where afraid of this little cute—”--Wheeljack

“SSSSSCCCCRRREEEAAAACCCHH!”--- The two remains of the Furby

Blaster firing and wrecking ball smashing intensifies.

Isn’t a huge fan of the little things. It’s a bit cute in a creepy way. Does remind him of scraplets if they had gotten some mold and gained some sort of upper-level sentience.

Smokescreen

Like Arcee, his encounter with the Furby is short.

He accidentally stepped on one effectively crushing it.

“SCCRRE—Crunch!”—Furby

“Hmm? Hmm.” –Smokescreen

He is completely oblivious to the tomfoolery that is happening all over the base. He is too busy with looking at the latest relic they managed to find.

Ultra Magnus

He finds a Furby near his work area. He tries to speak to the Furby as he would to anyone else.

“Excuse me but you are in classified—”—Ultra Magnus

“SSSSCCCRRREEEEEAAAACCHHHH!”--Furby

“That was unnecessary and—”—Ultra Magnus

“SSSSSCCCCRRREEEEAAACCHHH!”--Furby

“Listen to—”—Ultra Magnus

“Ultra Magnus move!”--Ratchet

Furby is hit with 10 wretches in one go.

He doesn’t mind furby’s like Optimus. Mainly because he was trying to communicate with it and never got to finish his sentences with it.

Decpticons

No one knows how it was done, but the impossible was made possible. After Miko finished getting all the Bots’ reaction to the furbies she decided to do something else. Somehow, she managed to scatter the remaining furbies on board the Nemesis. How did she do this. Not even Miko quite knows how she did it.

Megatron

He finds the Furby on his throne. He doesn’t know what this thing is, but it is on his throne, and no one sits on his throne except him.

“You! How dare you sit upon my throne!”--Megatron

“SSSSCCCRRREEEAAACCCH!”—Furby

Blaster firing intensifies.

The furby would be gone whether he is on Dark Energon or not. Will not admit it but the furby noise sent a little shiver down his struts. Good thing no one saw that.

Starscream

He finds the furby in his habsuite. He is curious in how this weird looking organic thing managed to find his room. He takes the furby to the interrogation room.

“Who are you? Speak worthless organic!”--Starscream

“SSSCCCRRREEEEAAACCCCHHH!”--Furby

“How dare you! I am Starscream, Second in Command of the Decepticon Army! You will—”--Starscream

“SSSSSCCCCCRRREEEAAAACCCHHHH!”--Furby

“Two can play it that game!”--Starscream

“SSSSCCCCCRRRREEEAAAACCCHHH!”--Starscream

“SSSSCCCCRRRREEAAAACCCHH!”—Furby

He ends up staying in the room with the furby for a while. Takes the furby to his room and plays on doing a hostage exchange if it is needed.

Soundwave

Finds the furby on his desk. Lazerbeak deploys and flies around the small thing. Steps a bit closer to getting a good look at it.

“…”--Soundwave

“SSSSSCCCRRREEEAAAACCCHHHH!”—Furby

He immediately groundbridges the furby outside the Nemesis to have it fall and burn on reentry. He does however keep the screeching noise recorded and will use it if necessary… or if he is bored.

Knockout and Breakdown

The pair enters the medbay and finds the furby on the medslab.

Breakdown looks at it and thinks it’s kind of cute. Knockout on the other hand.

“OH, PRIMUS KILL IT!”--Knockout

“Knockout?!”--Breakdown

“THAT IS UNICRON’S SPAWN! KILL IT! BURN IT!”--Knockout

Breakdown smashes the furby to oblivion. Did he regret it? No, it was causing Knockout stress, and he was happy to get rid of it for him. Knockout knows the furby’s horrors, he knows…

Dreadwing

His time with the furby is short. He accidentally stepped on it as he was trying to get some creates to his habsuite.

“SSSCCRR—Crush!”--Furby

“What in the All Spark? Hmm…”--Dreadwing

He does wonder what the weird noise was, but he has other things to worry about, so he quickly forgets about the encounter.

Shockwave

He doesn’t know they exist. There were no furbies in the lab or in his habsuite. The two places he really goes to. He does hear from the others about the furbies though.

“They sound illogical.”--Shockwave

“You’re illogical!”—Starscream

He doesn’t care about the furbies, he has science experiments and war crimes to commit.

Predaking

He finds one near his kennel and does not like it. Sure, the Nemesis isn’t the greatest place, but that spot is his!

“You! Vermin! Who are you!”--Predaking

“SSSCCCRRREEE—”—Furby

Fire breathing intensifies.

Does not like the noises and is quick to end the furby.

Arachnid

She finds one randomly walking in the halls screaming. She just stabs it and puts it on her trophy case. She doesn’t have time for anything else. She has Arcee and Megatron to kill.

[stevieschrodinger]

Eddie goes zero to sixty when he wakes up. He expects to be dead, so the strong smell of disinfectant and boiled hospital food comes as a shock that, at first, he doesn’t believe.

But then the irregular bleating of the heart monitor next to him starts to sink in, the beeps sounding way too fucking fast and that stresses Eddie out even more. He tries to escape out of the bed, gets tangled in tubes and wires, agony burning up his side and through his stomach, practically falls out of the bed when his own legs won’t hold him.

The floor is rock solid and stone cold, and that just ratchets Eddie’s panic further, because now he’s stuck and he can’t escape and there are people – people he doesn't know – touching him, all talking all over each other and it’s so much, too much to handle, the overload -

“Holy shit kid,” a voice Eddie would recognize anywhere, mostly because he’s been warned by that voice so many times about getting caught dealing and carrying and, “Jesus, give him some room a second.”

“I thought you were dead,” Eddie rasps out, voice totally fucked.

“Yeah, well, thought the same about you kid,” Hopper answers, stoic and honest as always.

“I can’t stay here,” Eddie finds his hands twisted up in the material of Hoppers jacket.

Hopper nods, knowingly, “back into bed, give me half an hour.”

Eddie agrees, holds onto that, because the lights are too bright and the noises are all so fucking loud and even the sound of his own breathing is annoying.

“Kid,” Hopper raps on the door frame, and every fucking pair of eyes in the room swivels to him because literally everyone rammed into Max’s room is a kid to Hopper. He narrows it down a bit, looking at Steve, “Munson’s awake.”

Half the people in the room shoot up, Dustin’s fastest despite his fucked up ankle, so Hopper sticks an arm out, wraps him up, stops him even though the kid is screeching and wriggling in his hold, “just Steve, the rest of you stay here.”

There’s a roomful of complaints, but something in Hoppers tone must relay the urgency, because they do obey in the end.

“So, he needs somewhere to go.”

Hopper nods down at Steve, “Owen’s can wrangle it, but it’s got to be somewhere known, somewhere that has the space, somewhere...private.”

Steve gets what Hopper’s laying down, his place is the only place that makes any sense, “yeah, of course.”

Because there’s no question.

Eddie limps across the threshold, most of his weight supported on Steve’s shoulders. They take one look at the mountain of stairs and divert straight to the couch. Steve can see that Eddie’s in pain, that he’s restless, that he can’t settle, “what can I do?”

“Nothing. Nothing. Feel like there’s...fire ants or something, crawling all over, under my skin.”

Steve tuts. Not having a suggestion for that. Eddie’s face contorts again and he’s sweating. The nurse was very fucking clear about the pain meds, and Eddie can’t have any more for another couple of hours at the earliest. Steve doesn’t state that out loud; he’s pretty sure Eddie doesn’t need reminding.

He comes back with a cool sodden towel, feeling helpless, but the second it hits Eddie’s skin Eddie practically screeches and they know that isn’t the answer, so Steve throws it in the laundry.

“I don’t know what to say man, shower? Like, a hot one?”

“Dressings,” Eddie bites back, white knuckled and almost writhing now on the couch.

“Maybe...we should take you back, maybe they can-”

“No. Fuck no,” Eddie’s words bitten out, panicked.

“Okay okay,” Steve surrenders, palms up flat, “what then?”

Eddie’s eyes flick over the back of the couch, he can’t see the stairs from there, there’s a wall in the way, but his expression looks pained just at the thought, “I’ll try anything once.” He tries to make a joke of it, tries to make out that he’s okay, but he’s clearly in fucking agony and Steve has no idea what to do for him so he agrees readily.

Making it up the stairs takes them fully half an hour, Eddie having to wait, panting, on every single step. Steve’s never felt so helpless in his life (excluding that one time Max floated in the cemetery), it’s torture watching Eddie suffer, watching him try and keep in all the pained noises, only to fail miserably.

He manages a half hearted joke about King Steve giving him a sponge bath when they make it to the turn near the top, the wider step on the corner giving Eddie somewhere safe and secure to lean.

Steve doesn’t laugh, “how are you feeling now?”

Eddie swallows, throat clicking dry, “it’s worse. It’s like there’s...like something's under there, moving around,” Eddie draws in a hissed breath, face crumpling, “hurts. So fucking much.”

Steve doesn’t even know what to say to that, so they get moving, and those final four steps are worse than all the others combined. They shuffle through Steve’s bedroom and into the bathroom, and when Steve clicks on the light Eddie makes an agonized noise and Steve clicks it off again immediately.

“S’bright,” Eddie mutters, squinting at the floor, greasy, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead. He looks ill. Washed out. No, gray. He looks like he’s gone gray in the dim light coming through the small bathroom window.

“Okay, okay, no problem,” so Steve turns to get the water going, trying to figure out how the fuck they’re going to do this considering Eddie looks exhausted and half dead already. He hears Eddie make a noise, there's a soft thump, and Steve turns back, concerned.

Eddie’s gone.

He’s just...gone.

His clothes are in a heap on the floor, bloody dressings mixed in, and Steve yells, hopping backward and nearly dragging down the shower curtain, when the pile shifts. Wings emerge. Tails.

Steve recognizes it instantly. It’s a fucking demobat.

“Fuck. Fuck fuck,” Steve backs away, edges his way through the door, thinking of the nail bat in the boot of his car. He usually brings it everywhere with him, when he can, but he was too concerned with getting Eddie into the house to think of it.

He doesn’t take his eyes off the thing as it flops around, trapped in Eddie’s clothes. Steve darts the rest of the way, scouring his room for a weapon and giving up fast; the kitchen, a knife; that would be easiest.

Steve runs for it, closing his bedroom door tight so the thing can’t escape. He runs down the stairs, grabs the biggest knife in the block and then takes the stairs two at a time on the way back up.

Steve opens his bedroom door cautiously, point of the knife sliding through the gap, just in case the thing is flapping around in his bedroom. It’s not, it appears safe.

But Steve knows the danger, he was nearly killed by just one of those things so he isn’t taking any chances. Steve waits a second with the door open...he realizes he can hear it. It’s not making the horrible high pitched screech that he’s used to, it sounds more like...well, it sounds like a whimper. It actually sounds kind of pathetic.

Steve creeps closer, only to find the demobat hopelessly tangled in Eddie’s clothes, it’s struggling only making it worse. Steve stands for a moment, staring. Eddie’s gone...and now that little creature is in Eddie’s clothes.

Eddie. Shit, Steve has a terrible feeling about this, “Eddie?”

Steve creeps a little closer, still pointing with the knife, “Eddie, man, if that’s you, you’ve got to give me something here,” Steve begs desperately. There’s still no response, “oh fuck me, I’m loosing my godamn mind.”

Steve kneels, moving a little closer, “Eddie?”

The Demobat’s strange, worm like head appears from under Eddie’s shirt and sort of...mewls. It’s pathetic, really. The open, rounded mouth in filled with rows of tiny, razor sharp teeth. It’s got four eyes, two above the mouth, and two more set behind that, and they all blink in turn, strange slits opening and closing slowly.

It makes another little noise. “Okay. Okay, lets, try...oh man I am so dumb. Dustin’s never going to let me live this down,” Steve slowly offers the back of his hand to the thing, reasoning that if it bites him, the wound won’t be too debilitating than if he looses a finger or something equally terrible. He waits, watching, poised to drag his hand back at the first sign of danger. He doesn’t need too though, because the demobat potentially formerly known as Eddie, snakes out a too long, thin black tongue, and licks a sticky smear on the back of Steve’s hand.

And that’s all. It sits still, staring up at Steve will all four of it’s beady black eyes, watching expectantly.

“Okay. Okay. I’m going to trust you. But if you bite me I swear to…” Steve mutters to himself as he carefully untangles the bat from the pile of clothing, it’s tails and wings well and truly wrapped up with the material.

It’s not awful. It feels kind of cold, but the skin isn’t like, moist, or anything, it’s very dry and kind of scaly. The wings are more leathery, and the tail is...well, it kind of feels weirdly hollow.

“Okay, I got you Munson. God that’s so weird,” Eddie’s body snakes up Steve’s arm a little way, wings flapping clumsily as he tries to right himself. Steve has to fight his instinct to throw the thing off, the last time a demobat was this close to him it nearly strangled him to death.

Despite climbing all over Steve, Eddie wraps his tail around his arms and chest...but not his neck. Not even close. Kind of like, even in this form, he knows.

Eddie ends up hooking the ‘elbows’ of his wings into Steve’s shirt and just...huddling there. Not doing anything, tail wrapped firmly around Steve’s arm, one wing against Steve’s chest and the other against his back, hugging Steve’s shoulder.

Steve stares at himself, and Eddie, in the mirror, “well, fuck.”

With no idea what the hell he’s supposed to do now, Steve heads to bed. It’s been a bit of a day, and whatever the hell this is can wait until tomorrow. He crawls into bed, carefully lying down. Eddie seems to get it, movements still slow and very clumsy, he shifts completely onto Steve’s chest, sort of walking on the joints of his wings, curling up.

Steve lies there, staring at the ceiling in the dark, “I guess this is...maybe not the weirdest thing to happen?”

Eddie makes a soft trilling noise.

Fuck.

Steve wakes up slowly, very aware of the warm weight on top of him. He blinks, vision filled with a mop of brown curls. Eddie.

Steve is hugging Eddie. Eddie is mostly on top of him. Eddie is very naked under Steve’s hands and his very obvious erection is digging into Steve’s thigh and, “Eddie, you’re people again!”

Eddie lifts his head, squinting, opens his mouth and says, “mrrrrp?”

It’s eerily reminiscent of the noise he’d made last night, as a demobat.

“You’re a dude again, dude.”

Eddie blinks. It seems to take a long time to process before he finally, finally croaks out, “coffee.”

Steve wholeheartedly agrees.

Steve slips out of bed, Eddie either isn’t acknowledging or hasn't noticed his boner situation, so Steve figures there's some sort of bro code here and just ignores it too.

While coffee is brewing, Steve figures his only possible course of action is to call the smartest person he knows. He will never admit that out loud, but luckily Henderson answers on the second ring, like he’s been waiting for Steve to call him.

“Dustin-”

“Can I come see Eddie yet?”

Steve sighs, “I’m great, thanks for asking, so cool of-”

“Steve.”

“Yeah. Yes, come over.”

The little shit doesn’t even say goodbye. He just hangs up.

Steve takes a coffee up to Eddie, who is buck naked and sprawled ass up over Steve’s bed, “okay, Eddie come on, Dustin’s on the way.”

Eddie groans, crawling out of bed, Steve heads over to his wardrobe to dig out something for Eddie to wear so he isn’t obviously staring at all of Eddie’s nakedness. There’s a thump and a, “shit,” that has Steve spinning back around, Eddie sat on his ass on the floor, looking confused.

“You okay?”

“Legs. Apparently you can forget legs really fast.”

It hadn’t occurred to Steve when he woke up, but it does now. All of Eddie is pristine; there’s not a wound, mark, scar bruise, anything on him anywhere. Steve has to step closer, kneeling in front of Eddie to prod his chest, Eddie swats at him, “you’re all healed up.”

Eddie stops swatting at Steve and prods himself instead, “holy shit. I am.”

“Well...that’s a positive, right?”

Eddie hums, and Steve goes back to digging him out a sweater and some sleep pants and boxers. That’ll do for today. Eddie’s a little wobbly when he stands, so Steve hovers in grabbing distance, but Eddie gets dressed without incident.

Steve offers him the coffee from the nightstand, now cool enough to drink. Eddie takes an enthusiastic mouthful and Steve watches as Eddie’s face goes through a series of...something, his mouth obviously full of coffee. His face is definitely doing something. And then Eddie just opens his mouth, “bleaugh,” letting the coffee just...run back into the mug.

And then he hands it back. To Steve. Who takes it reflexively, “I’ll just...I’ll go and get rid of this.”

“Where is he?”

“Okay, okay, firstly, I need you to not freak out.”

“Steve,” Dustin stares at him, “saying that is guaranteed to make anyone freak out.”

“Yep,” Steve agrees, “I mean it though, Eddie is absolutely fine, I swear it.”

“But. There’s a but isn’t there, Steve why is there always a but with-”

“He turned into a demobat last night. Like just, was a bat. And I didn’t know what to do, so we went to sleep, and then this morning he was Eddie again.”

Dustin’s face is a process, before he finally settles on, “are you sure?”

Steve rolls his eyes, “yes, yes, I’m sure. He was Eddie, then bat, the Eddie again. It wasn't complicated, just fucking weird.”

“Right...so where is he?”

Steve opens his bedroom door to find...absolute carnage. His bed has moved, the mattress is off the frame, there’s blankets and pillows strewn everywhere, feathers swirling in the air.

“Eddie?”

Eddie pops up on the other side of the bed, shirtless and frantic looking, “I didn’t, I didn’t do anything, it just, it just...it just exploded.”

Steve stares, the feathers settling. Eddie’s actually naked again and appears to be building some sort of fort on the floor of Steve’s bedroom, Steve blinks, “the pillow doesn’t matter Eddie.”

Eddie nods decisively, “good.” Then, after a moments thought, “do you have more?” And then he’s back on his hands and knees rearranging his fort, like a feral racoon or something.

“Dustin’s here, do you want to maybe come and talk to him?”

“It’s the scientific method Steve!”

“We are not throwing anyone off a roof, anywhere, any time, ever.”

They both turn back to Eddie, watching as he eats another spoon of raspberry jelly straight out of the jar.

“You got any ketchup?” Dustin asks, going back to food again.

“That won’t prove either theory, ketchup is red and sweet.”

Dustin turns to him, “Steve, that is possibly the most intelligent thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Steve’s ready to slap the little shit at this point, but Dustin’s face is earnest. Apparently Dustin actually means what he just said. Like, sincerely.

So Steve lets it go, and Dustin suggests, “we need something sweet but not red, and something red but not sweet.”

“We should go to the store,” Steve adds, then stares at Eddie for a minute longer; he’s basically fucking the neck of the jar with his tongue, “I’ll call Nancy to go to the store for us,” Steve adjusts.

Dustin nods, turning the page of his notebook.

Nancy drops grocery bags on the counter while Robin hops up next to her, “so, I thought we could make red jello and add a bunch of salt or something, I got some soup for him to try, some more jelly just in case, and some more ketchup since you said he really likes that. Two tubs of salsa…”

Steve rummages in the bag next to her, when Eddie pops up next to him, Steve hadn’t even heard him come into the kitchen. Eddie wedges himself right in there, pushing Steve back with a hand and then...hisses. Hisses at Nancy. Like, makes a hissing noise and bears his teeth. Steve just moves, lets Eddie push him back, while Nancy watches, wide eyes and surprised.

She takes a few Steps back herself, closer to Robin, and tries a tentative, “Eddie?”

He just hisses again, before snapping, “mine!” at her.

And then he disappears, there’s a light thump on the kitchen floor. Everyone watches as bat Eddie extricates himself from his clothes, movements much better this time around. He half climbs and half flaps his way up Steve’s body, until he gets to around waist height and Steve grabs at the thickest part of Eddie’s body to help him out. Eddie climbs the rest of the way, draping himself around the back of Steve’s neck, tail wrapped under one armpit, Eddie standing on his wing joints on the opposite shoulder. He hisses at Nancy again.

“Holy shit,” Nancy says.

Dustin is frantically scribbling in his notebook.

Robin, once she’d got over the shock of Eddie’s transformation, laughed and laughed and laughed. Even Nancy was smirking at them. The way Steve was absently stroking over Eddie to keep him mollified, and that Nancy couldn’t come within ten feet of them without Eddie getting all riled up again.

“So, you and Eddie huh.”

Steve just rolls his eyes.

“He’s feeling plenty threatened by Nance,” Dustin adds, really, really, unhelpfully.

“Probably because they were a thing,” Robin speculates.

“So you and Eddie are like, dating?” Dustin asks, and whatever Steve’s face does makes Robin laugh and laugh and laugh again.

Eddie actually manages a graceful glide off Steve’s shoulder and onto the nest/fort/thing Eddie had constructed earlier. Steve was going to try and tidy it before bed...but from the way Eddie is wing walking across it, pathetically dragging the edge of a pillow in his tiny mouth, Steve guesses that he’s not.

It’s also been a bit of a day, and he can’t really be bothered.

He climbs into bed, Eddie flapping out of the way and then climbing his way carefully up onto Steve’s chest.

This is my life now, Steve thinks, as he stares at the ceiling.

And then gets winded, when the very small demobat lying on his chest is suddenly a full sized man again. Eddie nearly headbutts Steve in the chin and Steve rolls over to dump him off, panicked and with the breath knocked out of him. Eddie makes a pathetic and somehow accusatory trilling noise, like this turn of events is all Steve’s fault, before he rolls over and flops over Steve again.

Apparently, cuddling is a thing they do.

Eddie makes a noise like a purr when Steve rubs his hand up and down the naked skin of Eddie’s back.

So, yeah, this is Steve’s life now.

There is more of this series on AO3 - Stevieschrodinger

[mychlapci]

Hopping on the mommy TFA Ratchet train. (I do hate brat behavior, they deserve punishment. And Optimus deserves to get some of Ratchet's milk too.)

Optimus, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee are the youngest of the team. Sure OP acts older, but he's still much closer to Bulk and Bee's age range than Prowl. Prowl doesn't need the milk like they do, Bulkhead is getting his milk through bottles, but Bee is so damn greedy that Optimus can't get a single drop!

Optimus tries to rationalize it, "I'm a full grown bot, I don't need it", "bee and bulk need it more than me", "we have plenty of other fuel, I'm fine." But he's decidedly not fine. He gets more and more cranky, fuel tastes weird now, like something is off, he watches as Bee nurses with jealousy in his optics.

Bee is throwing a full blown temper tantrum about Ratchet preping bottles for the others when Optimus walks in. He then goes off on him instead, goading and rubbing in his face that Ratchet's milk is his and his alone. He only stops once Ratchet orders him to. That snaps Bee out of it real quick. He turns back to Optimus expecting to be scolded for talking to his leader like that only for him to feel even worse by seeing that Optimus is at the brink of tears. It wasn't just Bee's tantrum or words that caused it, his behavior triggered the reminder of how Sentinel would treat Optimus. Being selfish, arrogant, gloating about things he has and Optimus doesn't. He never expected his own teammates to act like that, especially since they know how Sentinel affects him. He walks away without a word and Bee meekly turns back around to look at Ratchet. He sits serenely on the table patting his lap, his chest plates are closed, and his field betrays the fury that his face does not.

Bee gets the punishment of a lifetime, only a little lessened if only because of the genuine regret he felt and his compliance.

Bee limps to Optimus' room an hour or so later. He's just about to knock when he hears a very harsh rumble of a powerful engine and the whine of vents from strain. He peeks inside only to see Optimus laying on his side, nearly motionless save for the tremors his engine causes, and his finials clicked back to the farthest setting. Bee realizes the strain in his vents is from him staying quiet. Their fearless leader... is crying! Bee feels guilt hit him harder than any of Ratchet's spanks, he really did screw up huh? Was he really that selfish? Taking a few minutes to steel himself, he opens the door and knocks quietly. The engine stalls quickly.

"Yes?" Primus, even Optimus' voice sounds bad.

"Ratchet wants to see you in the med-bay, Bossbot." Bee says, clearly and enunciated, but still meek and quiet.

A loud angry growl came from Optimus, and the distinct click of his battle mask engaging. He turns his helm to look at Bee, but a moment later the growl shifts to a slightly softer, more agitated than angry, pitch. "Very well, I'll be there in a few minutes. You are dismissed."

Bee only nods and absconds quickly, running off to find Bulkhead and Sari. He knows Optimus doesn't want to hear an apology right now, but they deserve one.

Optimus arrives at the med-bay 20 minutes later, after having cleaned himself up first. Ratchet has finished preping the bottles and turns to greet him.

"There you are, come here."

Optimus approaches slowly, "I'm sorry about earlier, I should have just-"

"No, don't apologize. I already handled it. I told Bee to go get you and send you to me, if anything he should be apologizing to you."

"I'm fine, Ratchet, it's really not a big deal-"

"Oh really?" He puts his hands on his hips, "not a big deal, ey? Not a big deal that you were driven to the point of tears by a toddler of a mech? Not a big deal that I've seen that look on your face when a certain Chin-the-size-of-his-ego Prime belittles you? I made sure to point that particular comparison out to Bee during his punishment, especially considering his own hatred of the mech. Really took him down a couple pegs."

"Ratchet, I'm a grown mech and there's plenty of fuel around, I can deal without-"

"What? My milk? The milk that you are so painfully craving and jealous of Bumblebee and Bulkhead over? They are grown mechs too, but the three of you are still young and growing. You're also far closer in age to each other than you are to me or Prowl. Hell, Prowl doesn't even need my milk and he's gotten more of it than you! You! Someone who actually needs it!"

Ratchet turned around and sat on the berth, "now come here, Prime," he opens his chest plates and lets his still leaky titties out. Optimus practically starts drooling. "You need this as much as the others do."

Optimus hesitantly crawls into Ratchets lap, "are you sure? I- I can have-?"

"Oh shuddup and suck."

Optimus is forcefully fed Ratchet's nossle, plush lips wrapped around it carefully as he sucked. But soon he began to relax, until his whole frame sagged against Ratchet's, greedily sucking down the milk he craved for weeks now. His engine idled at a soft and smooth purr.

"That's it, bittie, take as much as you need, you've been so sorely neglected recently, after all. Momma's gonna take good care of you."

my wet nurse propaganda is only furthered by this. young bots need their milk, there’s no helping it, it’s why Ratchet was sent with the repair crew in the first place. Optimus pretending he doesn’t need the milk is just foolish… He might be older than Bumblebee or Bulkhead, but he’s still well within the breastfeeding range… 

This is the only time Bumblebee can use his young age to his advantage, insisting that as the youngest he can drink as much milk as he wants to, and he absolutely abuses the hell out of this fact. Ratchet doesn’t actually care at first, he’s just doing his job and if Bee wants to be pushy, he can ignore it... but then... Poor Optimus… it’s all a little too much. Stuck on a foreign planet, saddled with responsibility, and not getting any milk at all? He’s really putting himself through it. He needs some care from momma...

[writeyouin]

Could I request a scenario? During the mutiny of the Lost Light, liaison reader somehow missed the whole thing and is stuck on the Lost Light with no leadership and some bots who are not too keen on them being there. They hide out in the vents and sort of just stay there like “Day 23 in the vents. They haven’t found me yet but when they do they’ll be surprised.” Getaway swears he hears something but bots who are friends with the liaison swear they can’t hear anything.

A/N – Okay, so I actually wrote a full fic for this last year and I was typing it up and the whole thing got deleted and then I couldn’t find the notebook I wrote it in and ever since then I’ve just despised that I lost it and never attempted to re-write it. Anyway, now I’m going to do it as bullet points.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

Maybe it’s just because you were so small that you escaped into the vents unnoticed, or maybe Getaway was planning on keeping you as a hostage, or some kind of fucked up pet. That seemed like something he would do.

Either way, when the chaos began, you went unfound, and you decided to keep it that way, stubbornly hiding inside the ventilation system. You knew them a bit too well because of regular games with Skids where you hunted one another, trying to beat the timer.

You had tried to get to Rodimus, Megatron, Ratchet, and any number of the bots you knew. But there was no reaching them in time.

Now, you were stuck on the Lost Light, unable to return to your room, except for the rare occasions you needed to reach the food replicator. You were damned lucky there were a select number of tiny storage compartments only you could get into which had been turned into toilets for you.

Frankly, you wished more of them were showers, but sometimes it helped to be sweaty and gross as you mentally lived the John McClane lifestyle, though frankly, you could get through the vents upright, with no need to crawl.

Initially, Getaway must have suspected that you might still be on the ship because he put your room under guard and left food traps out for you.

Honestly, how stupid did he think you were?

You were smarter than he knew, and on top of it, you were pissed.

Yet, when it became clear you couldn’t rescue the bots he and his crew had mutinied against, you decided to use your intellect to psychologically destroy him… or at least fuck with him as best you could.

Having fallen asleep in the vents, you had lost track of him. This happened every couple of days or so since you were more determined to watch Getaway than you were to rest.

Honestly, you didn’t know whether you were more or less healthy than before. You were losing weight from tiredness, despite having enough food and water in your pack from the replicator. But you had more stamina and endurance than before from all the stalking you did.

“Target acquired,” You said under your breath as you found Getaway in his hab-suite. He was in stasis.

Perfect.

You got in position, standing directly above his chassis.

“Okay,” You whispered, kneeling and rooting through your backpack. “Ready to deploy, Agent RJ?”

Agent RJ was one of the Roombas you had collected from the vents. They had a more rounded top than Earth Roombas, and kind of reminded you of a horseshoe crab with the rounded top.

This one was Agent RJ, full alias: Rodimus Junior.

You had recruited it, painted it with Rodimus’ colours, and now you were going to drop it on your enemy while he slept.

Lifting the vent grate slightly, you threw Agent RJ as hard as you could, then scurried back where you wouldn’t be seen.

Getaway woke with a start then yelped an undignified scream at the sight of the message on top of RJ.

I’m coming for you, you ship-stealing fragger!

The best part was that it was written in Cybertronian so he wouldn’t ever think of suspecting you. You had learned to write it from Cyclonus a long time ago, though it was impossible for you to speak it.

Take that fucker.

Getaway ran to the other side of the room, starting the alarm. You smiled in satisfaction. It was great whenever he did that. The remaining crew were getting really sick of his paranoid antics. Especially when Getaway claimed he kept hearing someone, but that was also just you pretending to be the voices of those he’d thrown off the ship, though you only did it when he was alone.

Once, Roller had heard you and found you shortly thereafter, but he had let you go and told you to stay hidden.

You asked him why he was helping you, and he’d informed you there were a few bots with regrets about the mutiny.

You visited him when you could, but it was always a risk to leave the protection of your high haven. Still, you felt safe knowing there was at least one bot on the ship who would look out for you, probably more if the rumours about others regretting their actions were to be believed.

You waited for Getaway to get some distance from you before going after him, leaving just enough of a gap so as not to be noticed while you spoke into a… Well, you didn’t know what it was, but for the sake of your sanity, the little machine was a voice recorder, even if it couldn’t technically do that.

“Day 32 in the vents. Mission success. Note: Enlist more Roombas into the rebellion.”

It took a little while to run across another of the little cleaners whilst following snatches of Getaway’s conversation, seeing him every couple of minutes through the grates you passed over.

You snatched up the Roomba, hugging it to your chest.

Then, very seriously, you addressed it, “Welcome to the war effort, Megatron Junior. Sometime in the next 30 days, you will be deployed to the enemy camp when he sleeps. You have until then to train.”

When Getaway finally settled in a seat, grumbling at his subordinates, you took some time to start painting Agent MJ. He needed to look good for his Quest against that double-crossing son of a bitch.

[rex101111]

Ratchet and Clank size matters got added to the PSN store and I got a a major nostalgia pang so I went "eh, why not" and quickly played through it. And I do mean quickly, I know it was a PSP title but dang, last time I finished a R&C game this quick i played Nexus. Anyway, the thing that struck me about this game is that Ratchet is...a bit of an asshole here. And that struck me as odd because for the last few entries...he isn't.

Like this is still early series Ratchet, still on the PS2/PSP, released just before the first PS3 title, which was in retrospect a bit of an incredibly soft reboot. In the newer games, Ratchet is a fairly straight forward protag, nice, willing to help, only a little bit sarcastic if he's really strapped for time or dealing with someone especially annoying. Early Ratchet? Early Ratchet was a jackass, a dick, a selfish, quick tempered loner that only went on this quest because there was a tangible, direct benefit to him specifically. Seriously, in the first game Ratchet couldn't go two sentences without insulting somebody, and that's when he's in a good mood. In act 2 he's even worse, gnashing his teeth at everyone he talks to and threatening to sell Clank for scrap. It takes hours of in game time and half a dozen levels before Ratchet finally chills out, and a few more levels before he actually resolves to act like any sort of hero, and even that only happens after something he personally cares about gets threatened. Ratchet could give a damn, he can be convinced to help people, but he's still a selfish person who needs the situation rubbed in his nose before he realizes how dire it is. Clank having faith in him, throughout the entire game, even when he's being a dick, even when Clank himself is furious with him, meant something. When in the penultimate level he says "that's the Ratchet I always knew was there" and Ratchet brushes him off, you buy it, that beneath this sharp outside there's someone with the capacity to be a hero, an actual hero, a hero who isn't selfless, but one capable of overcoming his selfishness when it matters most.

Back when the first game came out, people complained about this, about their platformer mascot protag being a huge dick, and even the very next game addressed this by toning him down a smidge, but Ratchet in the PS2 trilogy is still very much not a perfect sunshine person. He's very sarcastic, pretty cynical, is very quick to call other people on their bullshit, and still has a very short temper. (Plasma city, anyone?) Ratchet had texture to him, he bounced off the much more straightforwardly nice Clank in a lot of ways, their friendship felt like it had weight and meant something because these two had so many differences between them that the fact they did get along so well and cared about each other so much showed that their friendship was genuine. I like the newer Ratchet and Clank games, played every one of them, but I've never been really happy with the direction they took with Ratchet. Each game made him nicer, friendlier, smoothing down his edges. And the reboot game had it the worst, they retold the first story, where Ratchet was at his worst and a major thread of the plot was him learning to get over his bullshit, but had the sanded down kitty cat of the later games instead of having confidence in their early work. Dickhead Ratchet worked, he had a place and it gave him a place to grow, while still maintaining his inherit sharpness. Ratchet should get to be an asshole again, just for a bit, let him get angry, properly. Sure, he's a hero who's saved two galaxies three times over and then some, but he did that while being a sarcastic little shit who made a joke about a plumber's ass crack showing and fired rockets at people while complaining about how high the prices are everywhere he went.

I dunno, maybe its a bit too late in the game to say this, but something got lost in the shuffle a while back, and getting a reminder of what was simply put it into perspective for me.

[lets-try-some-writing]

okay but what about robots in disguise?? its not a favorite of mine but it’s still pretty good. russel and his dad are decent lol

Frag that show.

It disrespected TFP on every level and for that it has my eternal hatred and contempt. The humans were annoying, and I HATED how many interesting plot threads there were that were either done poorly or with so little tact that the writing team should have just scrapped it. The designs are tolerable, but I hate how canon TFP characters lost so much of their individuality in their designs (coughtheopticscough). Smokescreen is fricking GONE, which bothers me more than I care to admit. We see the rest of the team enough to be reasonable, but they all appear in ways that don't really make me happy.

Ratchet was done well enough in my opinion. I like his RID design. It suites him. Optimus's design can go die in a hole, they brutalized that mech. Same with Jazz. Frag those stupid shoulder pads.

Grimlock is fun, I appreciate Sideswipe, although his helm hair thingies I think need a redesign to make sense in relation to his alt mode. Strongarm was HORRIBLY underutilized and I hardly saw any character growth in her. Drift and his crew were interesting, but similarly not given much room to grow. I really liked Windblade for the most part, especially the episode where she tries to baby Optimus and comes out having relearned that Op is still a PRIME with MILLIONS OF YEARS OF WAR EXPERIENCE.

The Primes who've done nothing but sit on their rears had NO RIGHT to belittle Optimus at every turn. Nor did the show have the right to make him an idiot for the sake of making Bee look smarter. As @nova--spark has pointed out, the personality Bee got in the show matches Smokescreen better. Bumblebee wouldn't have SUCKED so much at the whole leadership shtick. What happened to all that skill shown in the movie huh? HUH WRITING TEAM????!??!?!

While I am on this train. OPTIMUS DIED SO GOSH DARN LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! He should have stayed deceased, or if they REALLY needed him back, he should have either returned as an Civi or came back with actual issues. Like dang hear me out mate.

Optimus is forcefully returned to life, beats the Fallen with his borrowed power, but then has to actually deal with the consequences of essentially being a walking bomb for a while. Make him start losing plating, make his frame HURT, make him slim down again into the TFP base design. Just, give him a reason to have to sit back and RECOVER. Not this whole half hearted limping around garbage. To add to that, don't baby the mech. Let him stay at base and fulfill the role Ratchet did in TFP. Let him use his knowledge to teach and offer wisdom, plan battles and locate enemies. For Primus's sake he could have gone undercover on Cybertron or something if they really needed him to go be useless elsewhere.

THEY COULD HAVE EVEN HAD AN ARC WITH HIM GIVING THE TEAM A WAKEUP CALL!!! SIdeswipe has no respect for the mission, Grimlock is a fool, Strongarm is too snarky, and Bee in this seems to have largely forgotten about the seriousness except for during key moments. They could have made Optimus a minor antagonist, forcing the team to follow wartime standards since they laid down this plot thread regarding issues between leadership styles and Optimus trying to take control of the operation more than once.

I would have paid money to see Optimus's wartime mentality show itself in the best and worst ways through how he worked with this group of non war vets on a Decepticon capture mission. Maybe even have him use lethal force once or twice, or at least hint at it so that people can be reminded that he is a mech who went to war, killed countless bots, and both drove their people to and saved their people from extinction.

Bee could have had to teach Optimus to calm down. He could have helped eased his leader out of his wartime mindset. Or following that whole council running Cybertron route, Optimus could have had his moment of being very much right when he points out WHY he fought at all and gestures towards the new council. There was SO MUCH potential in this show, so many good threads and interesting Decepticon character that could have given so much depth to the war and the aligned continuity as a whole, but they were almost ALL ignored.

*deep breath*

Alright, sorry about that. I have big feelings in regards to how dirty Optimus was done. Moving on, the Predacons were killed off supposedly and that pisses me off ESPECIALLY because it was done in a fricking offscreen setting. What the hell happened to Predaking??? WHERE DID HE GO????

Starscream's design was rad though, not going to lie.

Where is Shockwave? No seriously where is that fragger? After several years of the map he MUST have an army growing in a tank somewhere.

Soundwave. Why. ARe. YOU. HERE??!?!?!? I love you man but dang you are so out of place. He made sense in the context of trying to get to Megatron, but idk he felt like he deserved better. He should have been the big brain behind the Cons on Earth if you asked me. It would have made everything far more intense, especially if the Cons dont follow Decepticon creed as seen by Soundwave.

The humans were annoying. Sorry they just were.

Fixit is Primus's gift to RID and he's one of the few individuals who makes it less annoying. Idk, I just like him in reasonable doses.

WHERE ARE THE TFP KIDS?! WHY HAS BEE NOT CALLED THEM?? GOOD HEAVENS THERE IS A WHOLE SUBPLOT RIGHT THERE!!!

*yet another deep breath*

Apologies.

To put things simply, I would rather a group of fanfic writers put RID together than whoever the writing team was. They could have made a coherent story with deep characters that actually address the ramifications of millions of years of war and lingering functionalist mindsets. They would have done the lore and the world justice even if there were no main characters popping up.

I think RID has so much potential, but that almost all of it went right down the toilet due to either the higher ups sticking their noses where they don't belong or because the writing team couldn't go two minutes without retconning or otherwise destroying established everything.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[talesfrommedinastation]

My Redneck Neighbor Doug Watches 'The Bad Batch Season 3' Trailer

Like all the other Star Wars geeks, Doug cut out of an important Zoom meeting with his work to watch the latest trailer of Daddy Warcrimes 'n Friends last week.

Cue ,y poor phone exploding as he commented on everything, and my director giving me weird looks--because the depity CEO was too busy watching it too and the actual CEO was busy playing video games on his phone. Yes, I work with adults with graduate degrees.

Here's what Doug texted me. Enjoy!

Need a refresher? Here's List 1 and List 2 of what Doug calls the cast of this show.

----------------------------------

Looks like they’re on a mountain pass. Wait ain’t that the truck they used on Kashyyyk? Is Chewbacca on it?

Aw, Church Lady’s back! Hope Sassy Park Ranger’s in the back seat getting the guns loaded and the Slim Jims ready! (I’m not correcting him. Let the man have his rarepair).

Little Orphan Blondie, Stepsister Beth and Daddy Warcrimes are all in the same ugly ass uniform. They all giving me Nurse Ratchet vibes. Didn’t Daddy Warcrimes have a lobotomy or something? 

THE SONS OF ROBOCOP ARE EVERYWHERE!!!!

The Emperor is mumbling again to Jimmy the Scientist but hey the Imperial guard and their cool ass red robes are around. I wonder how often they clean them? You ever read 'Shadows of the Empire'?

Rex seems smaller, is something up?

NUTSY GOT A FLAMETHROWER! GO NUTSY GO!!!

The Chick That’s In Everything AND Gun Safety Muppet are back?! Oh boy! What about Chewbacca? Chewbacca Junior?

Ryan-from-Accounting’s dead, yeah, we know. He’s coming back as Space Gandalf, we know, shut up, we ain’t stupid. 

OH SHIT DAYTONA’S GETTING INVADED. HIDE THE COCAINE AND THE SUSHI!!!!

Oh shit, Little Orphan Blondie’s behind the wheel! Is that the HMS Search Warrent she's on? I don't think so?

Is that a dog? AW HELL YEAH MUTANT JIMMERS* ON THE PROWL!

Julio’s worked up and he’s gonna do something!

HOLY SHIT, JOHN’S-EX-WIFE IS IN THIS??!?!?!?**

*= Jimmers is Doug's very handsome poodle mix from East Texas. He's 80 lbs of golden happiness even if he keeps murdering the raccoons in our alley. It's okay, they were living in sin, according to Doug.

**=New character unlocked! Asajj Ventress = John’s-Ex-Wife? Who is John? What did his ex-wife do?!?!

Tagging Doug's fans: @amalthiaph @merkitty49 @eyecandyeoz @autistic-artistech @eelfuneral @sued134 @techs-stitches @megmca @thecoffeelorian @skellymom @cdblake1565

Remind me if you need to be tagged in here for Doug-isms.

[tinydefector]

Hi! I have to say that since I read your energy fluid au, I couldn't stop thinking about it haha. I could have tfp optimus x gn!human!reader With energy fluid au? That the human is his first time to try something like that.

Tightly Wound energyFluid AU

TFP optimus Prime x human reader

Warnings: Smut, Blowjob, Handjob, fingerings? Valveplug

Word count: 2k

Optimus Prime masterlist

Request and Ask open read pinned post

__________________

"I mean it Optimus, you look like you have slept in nearly a week,I know Cybertronian's probably work differently but you still need rest" the human argue at the Autobot leader, he hadn't been taking care of himself that much was evident to everyone at base. Ratchet had told him off for it too, the others weren't willing to talk back to their leader, but Optimus human charge, They are determined to make sure he rests. They softly scold him as he makes his way towards his quarters. 

Optimus vented softly at their persisting concern, touched by their care for one so much larger than themselves. "Your care for my well-being is much appreciated,but I can guarantee you, I am fine," he states, trying to plead his case, he had more work to do, scans to run and areas that needed to be patrolled. “Don't give me that shit Op, your optics look like they are ready to fall out of your head!” They argue back, it only earns a sigh from the Prime, he knows he's not getting out of this, they were to firey when it came to him looking after himself. 

Settling back against the wall of his berth, he tucked his legs beneath him and gazed down at their small form nestled against his chassis. After a moment's quiet contemplation, he conceded softly, "Very well. I will take your advice and recharge this night cycle. Satisfied?" His optics shoot from them, he knows if he looks them in the eyes he wouldn't be able to fight them at all. “I will be once you lay down” 

A gentle rumble built in his spark at the feeling their presence brought, even as his systems attempted to power down in preparation for repairs. Some battles were won through force, this one was going to be won by his charge, and they knew full well they were already winning, their stubbornness reminded him of megaton at times, not willing to back down, and they were willing to take even himself on For that, he was grateful, they didn't shun away just because he was a prime.

They lay against his chassis watching him vent trying to fall into recharge. It's silent between them for a long while before they finally move. His optics flicker back on watching them move. They sit up against his chassis. One of their hands reached up to his face, tracing it slowly. " can't sleep?" Their voice is tender now, the fight from earlier had left them as they watch Optimus struggle to find recharge.

Though his systems urged him toward recharge, his processor refused to shut down, Optimus could not fully power down; he was too wired, wanting to get things done. His optics flickered warmly as small hands traced gentle patterns along the seams and plating of his facial structure, he  into the gentle touch and a deep noise vibrated through his chassis.

" rest does not come as easy," he rumbled softly, careful not to disturb their exploration. Lifting a digit, he softly returned their touch, letting its tip graze their back with the lightest of pressures. "Forgive me, my processor won't shut down." He sighed, Duty was not easily set aside for him, so many things were at stake. 

 Gazing down at their small form outlined against the blue glow of his sparkchamber. " talk to me Op, what's wrong?" They ask softly. Their eyes looked up at him worried over what was wrong, they press little pecked kiss to his helm. In truth Optimus was frustrated and didn't know how to address it. For a moment, no words came as buried memories and emotions swirled within.

Then, venting softly, he spoke in a low rumble. "There have been many vorns since last I self serviced. Much has changed, I'm as you would say ‘Pent up’ " His voice took on a weary edge. "The burdens of leadership are not easily set aside, even in recharge. Responsibility for so many weighs heavy, and some days the path ahead seems shrouded in darkness. I strive always to make the choices that will safeguard our future...yet doubt can linger that I have made the right ones. And I have Neglected my own sensors"

He gazed off into the distance as centuries of struggle flickered across his optics. "It's something I haven't had the opportunity to fix." His plating fluttered faintly, a faint expression of inner turmoil.

They lean up and press an ever so soft to his lips, " can I help anyway?" They inquiry. Small hands cupping his face as they continue peppering small kisses across his frame. "Blowjob?" The human jokingly asks as laughter spills from their lips. "Sorry, sorry." They laugh more, pressing their face into his chassis. 

Optimus sighs wearily, field damping the warmth of your affectionate touches. While their humor and willingness to aid are well-intentioned, certain acts would go against his principles.

"I thank you for the offer of assistance," he rumbles gently, servos enveloping your smaller hands where they cradle his faceplate. Optics crinkling, he adds, "But I fear certain... biological functions may cause unwarranted distress to your human systems."

Lifting them closer, he gazes down at them with a small smile. His field radiates gratitude and care. While desire is not unknown to him, duty to his cause and their safety comes first. 

"Optimus the size doesn't really phase me if that's what you're worried about" they reply moving further down his form. "Would it help you recharge with some release?" It's an inquiry while they slowly move down his tanks to the interface panel. They run their hands over his form gently in circles. “I'm offering Optimus, I know it may be hard to understand but you deserve to relax and have someone take the burdens off your shoulders even if it's just for a little” 

Optimus vents softly, gazing down at them with gentle optics. While their intention is clearly to provide relief and pleasure, his worry is certain intimacies that could endanger their small frame.

Still, their caring touch along his plating brings serenity amid endless conflicts in his own mind. "You have a kind spark," he rumbles softly. "However, as your Guardian I cannot in good conscience engage in acts that could risk your well-being, no matter how well-meaning the offer." Lifting their face with a digit, he strokes their cheek with another. 

"Optimus just for one night, what do you want, not what you think, what do you want" they ask while pressing soft kisses to his plating. Orion stirs within at the words, 

Their delicate touches along seams and plating bring solace yet kindle fleeting fantasies, he wanted them, but it wasn't something he could allow him. 

"For one night don't be the leader just be Orion, relax, let me look after you" they argue back, and in that moment Optimus realises that he wasn't going to win this argument. " trust me, i know you struggle with trust but trust me " they state pressing kisses further down his interface panel.

He Venting softly. “I haven't done this before” he states. He's worried over so many things but the moment their lips press against a tender spot it has him gasping loudly, as a servo gripping the side of his berth.  His armour plates part with a hiss, baring the metal within to your exploration.

They smile as his spike pressurises. Small hands wrap around him. Slowly moving up and down, they slowly press a kiss to the base. Their eyes flicker down to his valve. "Just relax" they call out to him. 

 Optimus releases a soft ventilation at their careful touch, mental disciplines the sole barrier against fully surrendering to sensation, He traces their back with gentle digits as their tongue teases along heated metal and wiring. An age-old ache stirs within as desire threatens long-banished fantasies. 

The human's exploration pulls sounds from his vocalizer unheard since vorns ago, He meets their upward gaze, One of His digits trace cheek in gratitude. 

One of their hands moves down to Optimus' valve slowly teasing him open, they run their tongue along nodes as they move further down. Their eyes widen at the sweet taste. They dive in for more of Optimus' sweet taste. A soft shudder runs through Optimus' frame as their questing fingers dance across nodes and explore, delving deeper. It has him arching with a sinful moan slipping from him.  

He releases a quiet rumble at the sensations. His spike throbs as their tongue teases unseen nodes, coaxing transfluid rich glowing arousal from hidden manifolds. Their mouth drinks it as quickly as they can, and for a moment he worries over the effect of it in a human's system, but the worry is thrown out the window the moment they take his spike into their mouth. 

A whimpered sound leaves him, optics shutter at the sinful feeling of their mouth against his spike. "Damn you really are pent up" they tease, lips tracing patterns against  his spike, lapping up the small amounts of transfluid dripping from him. "God you taste amazing, so sweet " they call out before trying to take him further into their mouth.

Optimus releases a soft groan at their teasing words, optics brightening at their evident enjoyment. The praise and eagerness to please stir long-dimmed responses deep within his core.

He ventilations deeply as their lips and glossa work flicking lights that line his spike, coaxing fresh waves of transfluid from him. He had never had a partner tend to these sensors so caringly. So many things he didn't know were possible. 

His servos gently cradle them against his spike's pulsing heat, digits tracing their form in wordless rapture,  moans, cries and deep vents fall from him. They take him further into their mouth transfluid leaking from the sides as they lap up the sweet pink fluid. pulling away from a moment before moving right back down to his valve, rotating between both as they work Optimus up slowly. "You look so pretty like this you know" they call out.

Optimus utters a loud gasp as they redouble their attention. “please, please” he all but sobs out, rocking into their touch. Their praise had him melting under them. For the first time since before memory itself. strain-knotted lines, awakening his frame and he's nearly begging for release.

As ecstasy rises within burning waves, "That's it, so good for me, gonna overload for me sweetheart?" They call out, lips wrapping back around his valve node, sucking harder as they press their hand into Optimus' Valve, thrusting in and out quickly. Tremors run through Optimus' frame at their eager ministrations bring him swiftly cresting toward his peak. 

Their hands and sweet mouth coax ecstasy ripening within hidden nodes newly sensitised. Pleasure rends seams locked up his systems And as peak claims his senses, he cries out rocking desperately into each touch.

When Optimus finally overloads, he goes lax against his berth. Their lips and tongue work swiftly with licking up more of his transfluid. his optics online again it's to the view of their lips against his spike lapping up the pink fluid. 

Optimus vents softly as awakening creeps back into weary systems, steam vents from him, fans kick in as he lays there body almost like jelly. He trails gentle digits across their cheek, “what are you doing?” he asked with a static to his voice. 

They continue drinking up his transfluid, trying not to let it drip down onto the berth, eager lips taking as much as they physically can, their smaller body leant against his thighs as they clean him. “enjoying myself” they chuckle. His systems sink into peace, welcoming the touch as they devoted attention to every crease of his plating. They are dedicated to making sure no drop goes to waste, worshipping each sensor until static fades into serenity. 

“never thought you'd taste like Blue V” they chuckle while lapping up more of him, when they do finally pull away from his spike it's with a loud pop. 

"I think I'm going to have to make this a common thing, because i rather enjoy how nice you taste," they call out. Their tongue is stained pink but they continue sucking the sweet tasting liquid from his plating. Optimus ventilates softly at their suggestion, optics half lidded. 

Optimus vents softly as recharge's gentle tide pulls at weary systems so recently stirred alive. His frame relaxes into deepening rest with a contented rumble, his human's smaller form nestled safe against his thighs and interface panel still thrumming warmth. Their face pressed into the metal as they find sleep against his form. 

“You did what with a human!?” Ratchet nearly shouts, he looks ready to fall over when Optimus inquires about the effect of Transfluid on a human's system. 

“Ratchet please, I will explain but I need to know if it is harmful to a human” he pleads. He's worried about his human ward. 

Ratchet sighs as both Ratchet and Optimus stand there researching the effects. 

“no it isn't harmful, but you are now getting a full check up and you are going to explain how this happened!” Ratchet growls as he points a digit at the Prime. 

[in1-nutshell]

Hi!

Can I please request for a platonic buddy that is always following lost light Ratchet around trying to become an apprentice so he get annoyed asking buddy to stop but then one day after a battle Ratched doesn't see buddy until he finds them injured in a storage room.

Buddy just trying their best to show Ratchet their skills.

Hope you enjoy!

Bot Buddy trying to be Ratchet's apprentice

SFW, Platonic, Mention of injury, Cybertronian reader

MTMTE

Ratchet had gotten used being viewed as a mentor figure or father figure throughout his lifetime.

It seemed to happen every couple of years or so.

But no bot had gotten such a… strong reaction.

Buddy was one of the newest additions to the crew after making a stop on Cybertron.

They were fresh from passing their nursing exam and ready to work.

It wasn’t Buddy’s seemingly unlimited optimism that bothered him.

They were realistic on the grimmer situations of life but tried to view the brighter side of things.

Buddy trying to get Tailgate to sit still: “C’mon Tailgate! One more checkup and your good to go!” Tailgate: “But is this one really necessary? I feel fine.” Buddy: “But that would mean you’d have to tell Cyclonus. Wouldn’t you like to give the news to Cyclonus that you are 100% healthy yourself? I think he’d really like that.” Tailgate sits on the med slab: “Do it.”

Ratchet could respect that.

It wasn’t their habit of trying to get everything organized in the med bay.

That was not only crucial, but a habit even he tended to lose every now and then.

Ratchet and First Aid walking into the med bay. They turn on the lights to see Buddy in the corner with several tools in their servos. Ratchet flinches a bit while First Aid jumps a bit. Ratchet: “Kid? What are you doing here in the dark?” Buddy: “Germs produce faster in light. I’m making sure these tools are properly sterilized.” First Aid: “We have a machine for that…” Buddy: “I know.” First Aid: “… Are you going to use it?” Buddy: “Nope. Now, if you don’t mind turning off the lights?” Ratchet: “… Our personal tools are clean and ready to use at a moment’s notice?” Buddy smiles and points to the tools neatly arranged in their place. Buddy: “Even alphabetized them.”

No. it wasn’t that.

It was their increased chattering that rivaled Swerve’s own chattering.

It was a bit endearing at first since most of it reminded him of the younger days when some bots used to shadow him and ask him questions.

One of the more common questions they asked was how he felt about them becoming his apprentice.

Ratchet never gave an answer to that question.

But after a couple of days the chatter began to become more and more annoying.

It was one particular day that Ratchet had gotten into a nasty spat with Drift, he snapped as soon as Buddy got on his nerve.

He nearly tore them a new one if it weren’t for First Aid, Ambulon and Velocity trying to calm him down and let Buddy slip out of the med bay.

It took a couple of hours before he calmed down and started feeling a bit bad for tearing a new one in Buddy.

But he felt like in a way it was a bit necessary, so he didn’t apologize.

Buddy on the other hand felt awful.

They had no idea Ratchet hated them talking so much.

They felt like they needed to make it up to Ratchet in some way.

They knew that the talking so much wasn’t going to go in one day.

That was unrealistic and they liked talking.

No matter how much they looked up to the senior medic, they weren’t going to give that up for him or anyone.

Instead, they thought about getting him something.

An apology gift and to stop mentioning the apprenticeship.

It was the least they could do.

The day of the incident the Lost Light had welcomed the Scavengers.

The rag tag group had decided to visit the ship again.

Spinister spots Buddy and walks up to them. Spinister: “You’re Buddy, right?” Buddy looks at the bot and smiles: “That’s me!” Spinister: “Our ship ran out of some medical equipment. Do you mind sparing—” Buddy: “You don’t need to explain, follow me!” Buddy grabs Spinister’s servo. The mech nearly grabs his blaster with the other but refrains. Spinister: “You’re a perky one, aren’t you?” Buddy just flashes him a smile as they continue to walk down the hall. CCCRRREEEAAAKKKKK!!!!!! GGGRRROOOOAAANNNNN!!!! The ship suddenly stopped and lurched forward, sending both bots into one of the storage units. The doors lock from the outside, not even bugging with Spinister ramming his shoulder into it or blasting it. Spinister hears blaster exchange outside the door. Spinister: “Blasted door! I—” Buddy: “Spinister…?” Spinister turns to see Buddy pinned by one of the columns in the room. The column covered half of their frame. They looked scared once the sight of a familiar pink hue began spreading. Spinster: “…Scrap. Why does the storage unit even have columns?!” Buddy: “I don’t know! I think someone bought them last planetary visit!

As it turned out the ship had been attacked by space pirates again.

It was a whole team effort to get the pirates off the ship.

Once the battle was done, was when the Scavenger’s noticed that Spinister was missing.

Soon enough the crew noticed they were also a medic short.

Ratchet was in the search party with some of the Scavengers when they heard the yelling.

After finally unlocking the door, the group wasn’t ready for Spinister to kick down the unlocked door.

He began yelling at them to get them both to the med bay before Buddy ran out of anymore energon.

Spinister and Buddy were treated for their wounds.

Ratchet gives a quiet apolody to Buddy, who immediately accepts and makes their apology.

It’s after a few more days of them being at their 100% that they suddenly get an opening for an apprenticeship with Ratchet.

They pounce at the opportunity immediately.

Ratchet doesn’t regret giving them the chance.

The only thing he regretted later on, was them bringing the Scavengers with them to Swerve’s during game night.

No one knows what exactly happened to Buddy and Spinister from their time in the storage room, but now they make an unstoppable team in Earth board games.

[mlm-writer]

If I Should Become a Stranger (Smokescreen x GN!Reader)

Pairing: Smokescreen (TFP ver.) x Human!Gender Neutral!Reader Rating: General Audiences Words: 1608 POV: Second Summary: Smokescreen left you over a decade ago to rebuild Cybertron and until today, you had not heard from him since. Note: Read a Transformers novel and then it really dawned on me how beings with such a long life span must view time differently. So this fic explores that a little. Inspired by this song. Tags: angst, hurt no comfort (for smokey tbh), breakup from Smokescreen’s POV and song fic. 

Humans would argue that in war, there was nothing as precious as love. In war, one should hug one's friends more often, hold one's family tighter and kiss one's lover longer. Such was the philosophy of men; cherish what you have now you have it. It was quite befitting to a race with such short lives. Cybertronian's however…

Even in war, many acted like life would never end. There was plenty of time to fight one's friends. There was even more time to find it in you to mend things, patch up the wounds you created together. Even when friends started to lose the light in their optics, when the streets started to fill with the husks of neighbours, when tomorrow was more a wish than a promise, even then, Cybertronians were often found doing anything but cherishing the moment. 

Smokescreen was no different. Sure, he was impatient and young by comparison, but even to him, everything seemed to be able to wait, 'fore there will be a later. Hence why he had no reservations about going to Cybertron to rebuild. Hence why he could look upon his human lover with a smile as bright as the full moon on a clear night, while saying his goodbyes. "I'll see you soon," he had said while swaggering backwards into the space bridge. You had believed him as much as you had loved him back then.  

"Hey Ratchet, any messages for me?" You asked as you always did when visiting the medic at the old base. Ratchet looked down at you with those same sorry optics. He didn't need to say anything, but he always gave you the courtesy of an answer. 

"I'm sorry, there has been no communication for you," he spoke evenly, trying to keep the pity out of his voice. It was always like that. At first you stopped by every few days, then weekly, monthly, every few months… at some point you forgot to go altogether. You moved for work, so it was suddenly a whole journey to come visit. You got fired from that job, then you got a new job. You fell in love, got your heart broken, broke a limb, healed both and what else? It was just life - life without sentient alien robots, explosions and secret government missions. 

It almost seemed like it had all been a dream. You had almost forgotten about all the adventures of your youth, were it not for that scar on your arm you got from a brief brush with Soundwave at the satellite array. That was just the start, but somehow you made it through several threats to the planet fairly unscathed. That scar on your arm was the only big reminder you had of those days aside from the pictures stuffed in a box in your garage, somewhere on a shelf that was too high for you to reach without a chair to stand on. 

You were about to drive back from work to that garage when you caught sight of a familiar car in the parking lot. The colours were not as you remembered them, but it was strange to see a sports car like this at an office like yours. You stared at the vehicle for a long time and then sighed, before opening the driver's door to your car. However, as soon as you opened the door, the sports car you had been staring at earlier flashed its lights and started honking. You squinted your eyes and closed the door again. 

You locked your car and walked over to the other car that was making a ruckus. As soon as you approached, it quieted down and the driver’s door opened on its own. Against your best judgement, you got in. When you sat down, the seat belt wrapped itself around you and the engine revved to life. “Missed me?” A familiar voice came from the radio as the car drove out of the parking lot to God-knows-where. However, hearing that voice, you felt no fear, no worries, just a deep-seated resentment that had been dormant for many years. 

“Smokescreen,”  you greeted your ride with a tight voice. Said Autobot made a joke about how you simply could not forget him. It only angered you more. You had forgotten, mostly, until now. After that greeting, the air chilled down and not a word was exchanged, until Smokescreen pulled up at the side of an abandoned road. There used to be a factory at the end of it, but since the building had been decommissioned, no one used the road anymore; it was leading to virtually nowhere nowadays. 

The seat belt unfastened and you got out. When your shoes hit the dusty ground, the vehicle transformed into a shape that you used to know. You marvelled at his size as if it was the first time you witnessed his transformation. Cybertronians did not age, but that young face you used to know seemed more mature anyway. There was something about his gaze that got more intense, more serious. There was a slouch in his posture that was the telltale weight of responsibilities befitting an adult. 

Smokescreen whispered your name after a while of quiet staring. “Why are you here?” You inquired as a response. Hurt was evident on his face, but you thought it was a valid question. For over a decade, there was radio silence. Why would he be here if not for another danger looming over your planet? 

Smokescreen let out a scoff. “To see you of course!” He beamed in spite of everything. It was your turn to scoff as you crossed your arms. Your ex looked you over and then, very intelligently, said: “You’ve become bigger! That’s really cool! I forgot humans could do that… Want to go to the drive-in theatre today?” 

You sighed and turned to walk back to your car. It was gonna be a long walk, but you were stubborn and too prideful to tell him to drive you back. “There are no drive-in theatres in this area..” 

You barely got a few steps away when Smokescreen yelled from behind you. “I should have left you a message! I’m sorry!” You kept walking, tears prickling in your eyes. “I forgot!” He added as if it was a valid excuse. 

“Well, I forgot who you are!” You yelled over your shoulder, speeding up your walking. You heard your ex transform behind you and like a bad movie, he started driving next to you. All that was missing was pouring rain, but the sky was so clear, you could see the many constellations gradually making themselves known. 

He was driving with the door closest to you open, trying to get you to get in. “Come on! It has not been that long! I admit I have changed a little, but I’m still me, your Smokey…” You tried to block his voice out, stubbornly trudging on down the abandoned road. “I came back, because I started talking about you so much, Arcee practically shoved me into the space bridge to shut me up. It’s been like my processors always circle back to you.” He swerved and came to a halt right in front of you, forcing you to stop walking. “I told you I would see you soon…” 

You took a deep breath, ensuring that whatever you said next would be spoken in a normal, even tone. Smokescreen reverted back to bot mode, looking at you with pleading optics that could once pull your heartstrings. However, those times were long behind you. “Smokescreen,” you started like you were lecturing a child, “it has been like what? A decade and some? That may not be a long time for you, but I am human. A decade right now is about a third of my life. You made me wait a third of my life. Does that sink in with you?” 

Smokescreen seemed to shrink, pinned under your intense gaze. “I’m sorry,” he muttered eventually. His servos clenched and unclenched. You could see his processors working overtime, just to formulate a response. “I guess you’re right. Cybertron has become quite lively. I proved myself a leader. I made a lot of new friends… Maybe it is a long time…” For someone with a seemingly endless supply of RAM, he was awfully slowly putting the events of the past decade in perspective. His voice trailed off after every sentence. Eventually he just whispered one last thing. “A third…” 

You pitied him. You had enough time to mend the heart he broke many years ago. To him, however, he came back like he said, just to find what he left behind to no longer exist. Without a word he transformed into his alt mode. “I’ll take you back,” he stated. You did not resist this time and got in. 

The drive back was quiet. You did not speak. He did not speak. Only white noise filled the spaces between one heavy spark and only a slightly lighter heart. He drove you back to the parking lot where you had your car. You were about to get out when you heard his voice one last time. “For what it is worth, let me just say: I love you. You’re the best thing I ever had.” 

In spite of him being a stranger from the past, your heart ached. “Your life is long. You’ll love again. Don’t worry.” You patted the steering wheel and then got out. You did not look back and by the time you sat in your car, your car was the only one in the parking lot with the lights on.

[skylarmoon71]

Human Optimus Prime (Transformers) - (AU) Oneshot

"The war is over, you don't have to keep looking out for me." 

You watched the Autobot above you, his optics blinked, and he shifted on his feet. Not sure how to respond to your words. 

"You can't be certain the danger is over." 

Through all the battles, life was finally settling down.

Most of the Decepticons were gone, the ones that survived were in hiding. Far too smart to try and plan another attack. Some of the Autobots that were still alive were doing the same. You felt like you'd watch so much of them die. Jazz, Ratchet, you never really recovered. 

You suppose that was the reason Optimus felt the need to be constantly with you. Bumblebee was with Sam, enjoying his life. Peacefully. The remainder of Autobots were all leading very different lives from when they first started. Whenever there was a threat, they lend a hand to the government, but in the meantime, they were just relaxing. Something they hadn't gotten a chance to do fully since they crashed to earth that night. 

For some reason, Optimus took it upon himself to look out for you. So every once in a while he'd stop by to see how you were going, what you were up to. Being a sophomore in college, you were thankful that you were spending more time now on your studies to pursue your profession. In high school it was just one disaster after the next. Now, you could unravel and focus on regular things that college students stressed over, like midterms.

"I think I can handle any danger that comes, I've made it this far haven't I." You were sitting at the edge of the hill, just looking down at the city. When he buzzed by to check on you, he'd ride you to this spot, and the both of you would chat about everything.

You used to look forward to it, but now it was just an unwanted reminder. The main reason behind your refusal for his protection was the fact that your feelings for him had never gone away. In high school, you always thought it was a little crush. 

He was a giant robot who came from another planet and lived for who knows how long. You had no idea why you even fell for him. But the more you were around him, the deeper your feelings got. 

Two years of knowing him you finally confessed exactly how you felt, and his response was that although he was flattered, he could not return them. You cried for a week, but eventually got over it. Surprisingly you were able to salvage a friendship.

That was years ago though. You were on your way to start a life, one that obviously he didn't want to be a part of, at least not the way you wanted. You figured if you were ever to move on, you needed to start making an effort to get some distance. His constant visits weren't making it any easier.

"Is that the true reason you wish for me to stop watching over you?" 

His statement made your shoulder tense slightly. 

"What other reason would there be? " 

You needed to change the subject quickly.

"You can have a life here Optimus. All the other Autobots have, so can you. How are you going to do that if you're always around me."

"You are a part of my life." 

You clench your fists, refusing to let those words play with your heart.

"I can't be, at least not anymore." 

When you looked back at him, he looked a bit sullen at what you said.

"Optimus I..I lied all those years ago. I-I haven't gotten over what you said, or how I feel about you. I think it just got worse as the years went by. I'm in love with you Optimus..." 

You swallowed, because you knew for a fact that you were about to be rejected for the second time. 

"But I think if you just give me space...I'll find a way to stop feeling this way. So please just..don't come by anymore. For your sake, and mine." 

You stood from your spot, and Optimus was just staring at you. He didn't speak, didn't say anything. You didn't need words though. It was clear how he felt. 

"I want to go home." 

You didn't look him in the eyes, you really couldn't. He must have realized that you didn't want to talk about it any longer. With a short nod, he shifted back into a semi. You opened the door, hopping in and closing the door. 

As you sat there, you forced yourself not to cry. When he was gone, and you were back at your apartment, you would have plenty of time to do that. So you stayed silent, watching the trees and buildings as Optimus took off.

~~

"Optimus, are you alright. You look a bit distracted. " 

Sam's words caught him off guard, and he lowered his head at the male. The other autobots in the area stared. Even Bumblebee looked curious. It wasn't often that they saw their leader that way. He'd always been the one with a solution for every problem. Yet he looked like he was struggling with whatever issue he was going through.

"I believe I have...gained feelings for a human." 

Sam's eyes popped open, and from the side he could see Ironhide and Sideswipe high five. Crosshairs just sighed, running a hand over his face.

"Aww you sad sap, I knew that chick was bad news. "

Bumblebee's optics glowed. A song blasting from his speakers.

"Can you feel the love tonight."

Optimus just sighed, and Bumblebee titled his head. 

"What's up doc, you look a bit under the weather."

Sam could only manage a small smile. No matter how many years pass, Bumblebee's use of the radio always amused him.

"I'm a little surprised, I guess I always knew there was something between you two. I see the way she looks at you when she thinks no one is watching." 

Sam's comment gained a look from Optimus Prime.

"How long has she been giving me those looks?"

Sam now looked a bit nervous. 

"Uhh, I'm not sure if I'm the right person to ask about this stuff. Maybe you should just tell her how you feel and.."

"It's pointless. A relationship with a human, with (Y/N), it's impossible. She's a child and I'm a soldier. "

"She's not a child." Sam said it with so much defiance. "She's not a kid anymore, maybe that's why you're so blind. You're still treating her like a kid. She's a woman, Optimus. She should have a say, it shouldn't just be your decision."

"And as for your other problem, I think I have a solution for that as well." Ironhide pipped in.

"A solution.." 

Optimus asked with uncertainty. Ironhide didn't say much more, in seconds he was reverting back to a car. "Let's go, I've been waiting years to show you this!" It didn't take much convincing, they were all interested now.

*****

"A new professor in the department?" 

You nod at your friend, sipping from your coffee.

"Staff has been a bit overpowered. I only heard because I tutor in the evenings. The guy is starting today. Hope he isn't a douchebag like Mr. Renaldo. " 

You mutter.

"I hope he's a hottie, bet you I'd get an A on every assignment." 

You giggle, nodding your head. As strong as you were trying to appear, your conversation was still running over in your head. It irked you more that he just left, you weren't rejected this time, but you might as well have been, his inability to say anything felt far worse. 

"Did he really think I was gonna sit around waiting for him forever." 

He must have known deep down that you never got over him. This whole time it felt like he was unintentionally manipulating you. He didn't want a relationship, but you couldn't be with anyone else with how much you felt for him. Both options left you alone, unhappy.

As you stepped into your class, your new professor was already there. His back was turned, and he was scribbling his name on the board. You could see some of the females in your class swooning. You weren't blind, even from the back you could tell he was probably attractive.

You took a seat, watching the name he wrote out.

"Orion Pax. "

Kind of strange, but who were you to judge. It sounded a bit familiar though, like you'd heard it somewhere before.

When he turned, he was sporting a broad smile, that probably gave a few of the women a heart defect. All he was doing was smiling and you could physically feel the charm sparking off him. Dirty blond hair, emerald eyes, strong jaw, broad shoulders. The guy was a freaking thirst trap.

"You all can call me Mr. Pax. I'll be the substitute Anthropology professor. This department has been under a lot of strain, I'll be lending a hand. Please feel free to ask me any questions." When the girl behind you raised her hands, you could already anticipate the question she was about to ask. She crossed her legs, batting her lashes seductively. 

"Mr. Pax, just wondering, I've been falling behind and it would mean a lot  if I could maybe work it off with some.." 

She paused, licking her lips and leaning forward, purposely pushing her cleavage together. 

"Extra credit." 

You rolled your eyes, and your friend at the side of you sent a small snicker, making kissy faces.

"Why of course, Mr. Renaldo told me all about you." 

He reached over, picking up a thick stack of sheets, dropping it on the desk in front of her. 

"These practice tests should help get you up to speed. Anyone else?" you almost burst out laughing at the bewildered look on her face.

"Well if they aren't anymore questions, let's begin." 

You kind of liked his style. He was a thot destroyer, you could respect that.

With a disgruntled huff, she pulled out her books and you giggled, reaching a taking out your own as Mr. Pax started up the projector. 

"Open your books to page 51, Folklore. This is a topic that I think some of you may enjoy. We've all heard stories of Bigfoot, or the Lochness monster. These may be theories created by very creative minds, but there are some things out there that we may not all understand. Possibly even beings from another earth, wouldn't that be interesting." 

When he said it, you could have imagined it, but his eyes seem to land right on you. 

You shifted a little in your seat, dropping your eyes to your book. You could still feel it, his green eyes boring into you. Your grip tightened on your pen, and you released a shaky breath.

"What the hell.." 

Optimus was the only one who'd ever made you breathless with just one look. So why was this stranger emitting the same energy of the Autobot you were so hopelessly in love with.

For the remainder of the class, you tried not to react. At certain points he'd walk down the aisle when he was making a point. You kept your head down, eyes on the page. For a moment, he stopped, leaning over to see your notes.

"What language is that?" 

Your head raised slowly, and you cursed when you realized what he was staring at. Through the days you spent with the Autobots, you picked up on some Cybertronian. Optimus even taught you some words and a few letters. Unintentionally, you'd scribbled out Optimus's name on the side of your notes. You flipped the page, letting out a nervous laugh. 

"N-Nothing it's just a little doddle. S-Sorry about that. I-I have a really short attention span. "

"Are you implying that my class is boring?"

"N-No! Of course not I was just-"

"I guess since it's so boring, you won't mind staying back to do a little extra work." 

You could hear the little laughs from some of the students behind you.

"Am I clear?"

You nod. "Yes sir." So maybe you were wrong, he was a douche after all. You hated the smug smile he was now wearing as he looked at you.

"Mothertrucker."

So the class pushed on. Thankfully, this was your only class for the day. Unfortunately, you would have to spend it with Mr. Douche.

"I'll text you later, let me know how it goes with Mr. Pax." 

Your friend winked at you as she left, and all you could manage was a groan. He was gathering his files. "I have to drop these into my office, care to join?"

It wasn't a request, you knew that. So you just picked up your bag and followed him down the hall. 

The entire time you stayed behind him, determined to avoid eye contact or conversation. When you got to the door, he opened it. 

"After you." 

With a fake smile, you entered, and He followed right after. The clicking of his lock is what made your eyes narrow. You turned to him in question.

"I apologize for embarrassing you in front of the class, but I needed to ensure that we were alone. "

Just great, not only was he a douche, but he was a freaking creep too.

"Listen, you're cute and all, but I'm not interested. Don't even try blackmailing me. My grades are spotless. I'm not gonna be some booty call. If that's all I'll just be going." 

You gripped your bag on your shoulder, heading for the door. His arm took your wrist, and you dropped your bag, ready to fight if necessary.

"You don't understand." 

The blue light that circled around his eyes made your own grow wide. You clenched your fists. 

"Decepticon!!" 

Yanking your hand back, you raised your fists, firing a punch at his face. He jumped back in surprise, and you used the distraction to grab something to chug at him. 

The lamp on his desk seemed like a good choice. You ripped it off the desk, throwing it, and he dodged, raising his hands as you tried to run for the door. All you had a chance to do was place them on the lock, somehow he was behind you, and your breath quickened in fear. His hands came down on the door, caging you there, and you froze.

"I suppose I should be proud, you do handle yourself very fairly well." 

The change of his voice made you shiver. He sounded strangely like...

"Optimus..." 

You whisper. He just let out a soft chuckle, and when your eyes connected, that's when you knew. His orbs were still glowing a brilliant blue, the same sapphire light you'd seen for years.

"How...what..why are you..you're voice is.." 

You could barely get an actual sentence out, and he smiled at you. 

No wonder the name sounded so familiar, he'd told you about it once. He still had you pressed into the door. His hand came down, resting on your cheek.

"It seems even in death, Ratchet has been looking out for us. When he was still with us, he was looking into getting us to blend in with humans. He wanted us to be protected, especially when we were being hunted by the government."

"So he..he found a way to turn you human?"

"Yes, with the help of my lifeforce, Ratchet has modified a device to assist us. Ironhide had kept it for this very moment. He wanted us to use it when the war was finally over. So we could live in peace. "

He gestured to the watch on his wrist, and you blinked. Up close it seemed like a regular accessory, but as you leaned in closer, you could make out the blue light that mirrored the one in his eyes. The watch seems to be almost fused with his skin.

"Woah..." 

It was crazy, you would have never guessed.

"That's amazing, e-even your voice sounds different. You sound so..so.."

"American." 

He smirked.

"I suppose that was another advantage to his technology. "

"But how come you're teaching here! You need a degree and references and college."

"I'm very versed at manipulating data (Y/N)."

Right, he was an alien robot after all.

"Anthropology, it's a topic that mirrors the studies I did back on Cybertron. It reminds a little of my home. I downloaded everything on the subject into my drive so I could teach efficiently."

There was still the most glaring question.

"Why do all this. I-I thought I was pretty clear yesterday Optimus. I-I can't move on if you're always here. I'm done chasing after you. Now you're here at my college. Are you really that heartless! Why can't you just let me-" 

He leaned in, and you gaped when his lips pressed to your own. You struggled for a moment, trying to push him off, but he was stronger. You hated this, how easily he was able to make you feel so much. Closing your eyes, you gave in.

When you felt his tongue parting your lips, you responded, leaning tentatively into his body. He sighed, tightening his grip on your wrist as he kept your bound to the door. How do you walk away when his kiss felt like your own personal heaven. 

The minute his tongue touched yours, your knees almost buckled. Gosh, how many times did you imagine kissing Optimus. Who were you kidding, there was absolutely no way you could forget about him. Your free hand slipped into his hair, and you tugged, earning an appreciative groan from him. When he finally retracted, you were panting, and a bit confused.

Why did he even kiss you?

"I realized that up until now I've been doing what I can to keep you at a distance. It wasn't because I didn't return your feelings (Y/N). Through our years together, I've always felt drawn to you. I choose to ignore it because I know that I could not have a future with you. As an autobot, I cannot give you what you deserve. "

So this whole time he was just scared.

"It may be hard for you to accept my apology, even after I've hurt you so much for so long, but I would like a chance to be a part of your life (Y/N). I'd like to be in your future, if you'll have me."

He didn't even have to ask.

"Of course I'll have you Optimus, that's all I've ever wanted. " 

He caresses your cheek, and you're smiling a bit bashfully.

"How did you learn to you know..kiss like that.." 

He's now wearing a sly grin. 

"Instinct I suppose." 

When his thumb brushes your lower lip, you quiver, closing your eyes. You want nothing more than his lips back on your own. 

"Back in class, I was sure you'd figure me out. When our eyes connected you gave me that look, one I've seen you wear many times. I finally understand what it means. How foolish that I didn't realize sooner." 

You blush. So you weren't imagining that either. It's almost like you felt him way before you put the pieces together.

"W-We're going to have to be careful at school though. It'll be bad if someone caught us like this." 

You're saying this in hopes that he'll let you go so you can get your heart to stop racing. If he kisses you again, you might not have the will to stop.

"I'm a very careful person," He says smoothly.

"Optimus we-"

"It's Mr. Pax." 

You glare at him, and he's still smirking at you.

"Please, there's no way you're getting me to say that. "

"Really?" 

He says that it's almost like a challenge. This time when he moves in, his lips rest on neck, you pull in a breath, a bit surprised at the move.

"O-O-Optimus I'm serious we can't.." 

He nibbles at your skin, and you can't even bring yourself to finish the sentence. Now he's leaving open mouth kisses, and you're trembling.

"You smell amazing, taste even better.." 

He mumbles on your flesh. 

Your chest is rising with every quick strum of your heartbeat, and you try pushing your thighs together to elevate the pressure. But that just encourages him to lean closer, pushing his leg between your thighs. Where the hell did this side of him come from. He uses his hand to tilt your head to gain better access to your neck, and you moan when his kisses become a bit more determined. There will definitely be marks when he's done. 

"M-Mr. Pax.." 

You stammer out. He stops, pulling back with a grin.

"Was that so hard?" 

You're about to yell at him for his recklessness, but he kisses you once again. With a sigh of defeat, you fold. There's no use pretending you don't love everything he's doing. That's how it's always been.

A future with Optimus, you can't wait. 

[linkedspirit-fanartfunart]

This is the most useless random writing bit but it was an idea and I had to do it. Gosh why are there so many characters though. XD

Link's Favorite Item

-

The group of Links had settled for the night, settled by a fire. Smith prodded it occasionally, ensuring it stayed bright and fed. Glider sat beside it, eyes halfway to glazing over as they watched the flickering flames. Sky seemed halfway to dozing off while Wind and Forest had started some sort of silent face making contest. While Ordon and the Spirit had left to walk around the campsite.

Rinku was working on a device of some sort, ratcheting pieces of metal together with furrowed brows. The Engineer was watching intently, eyes wide with wonder and curiosity. Rinku ignored him in favor of her focus on the work.

"Say..." Hope started as he propped himself against Rinku's back. She glanced up momentarily to glare forward. Sky stifled a laugh. "What's everyone's favorite tools of the trade?" He asked, grinning. "I'll go first. Best thing to exist is the Magical Sword."

"That's boring, anything other than a sword or shield!" chimed Wind, hands moving sharp and quick.

Hope stuck his tounge out at him and he laughed. She sighed, thinking for a moment longer, "The Clock, then. ...man I miss the clocks."

Forest tilted his head, squinting, "Why are clocks important for you?"

"Oh, they stopped time for a bit. I could just do whatever until moving on. It was nice."

"Where did you get THAT?" Forest demanded.

"Monsters dropped em" Hope shrugged, "OK Rinku's turn." Forest gaped at the redirection, clearly still wanting to interrogate him about the time stopping clocks.

Rinku huffed, "Too many and too many different reasons for them to decide."

"Oh come onnnnn," Hope whined, "Pick the first one that comes to mind!"

She glanced down at what she was working on and raised the half done device. "Switch Hook."

"Oh!" The Engineer gasped, "That sounds cool."

"What's a switch hook do?" Sky asked, leaning to look.

"You switch places with what you shoot with the hook." She shrugged, "I lost my old one. I'm trying to make a new one..."

"Absolutely incredible, you must be brilliant" Hope cheered, leaning his face close to hers. Rinku's face flushed, and she shoved a hand in his face making him squawk.

Engie giggled and spoke up, "Can I count my train?"

"HA, if I can't pick my sword, you can't pick your train. We all know you're the train kid."

Engie sighed, pouting as he thought some more.

"Hyoi Pear!!" Wind offered with a grin. He signed, "I can use them to control seagulls."

Rinku snapped her attention to him with wide eyes, "Excuse me?"

"That's my thing." Hope complained lightly.

"The seagulls don't mind it too much. They're mostly there for the free food." Wind said, "Plus, who wouldn't wanna fly around like a bird."

Sky nodded sagely, and Smith shook their head quickly.

"Okay, okay, I've got it." Engineer announced, "The whip!"

Several heads turned toward Engineer with varying levels of surprise and confusion.

"...What?" He muttered awkwardly, "It's a good multi-use tool. I could attach it to wood bars some birds would hold to, and it'd fly me around. Wind's thing reminded me of it."

"Ohhhh" whispered Glider.

"I expected some sort of high-tech future gadget..." mumbled Forest with a slight pout.

"I'm the one with those." Glider said with a laugh, "My favorite is the slate. Of course."

"Yeah, you're so obsessed with the thing you won't let anybody else touch it." Rinku mumbled.

"It's important and I don't need anybody messing with the settings." They huffed.

"Favorite part of the slate then." Forest demanded, smiling.

Glider hummed, leaning backward and looking at the sky. "Bombs." He concluded.

"Bombs? Dang it! I should've gone with bombs." Hope complained.

"Endless bombs."

"You can't be serious." Smith said.

"No way!" Forest shouted.

"Oh come, on why is all your stuff so cool." Engineer grumbled.

"On Hylia, how-?" Sky whispered.

"Who’s helping me steal that thing?" Wind laughed.

Rinku shook her head, though she gave a very inquisitive look at the slate.

Glider laughed, "Still not letting any of you touch it."

"Well, excuseee us for being interested in the most interesting thing you have."

"What about you, Sky? You mentioned that your time had ancient tech, too." Glider deflected.

"Oh! Er. Well there's the Beetle."

"A bug?" Smith asked, raising a brow.

"It's like a flying machine?" He scratched his head, and gestured to show its size, "it's shaped like a beetle and it gives me a view of what it sees and can pick things up."

"Now I want to see it," Glider said with a light pout.

"Can we?" Rinku asked, tilting her head.

"I don't have it with me... I would've if I knew I was going to wind up traveling across- well. Everywhere." Sky chuckled, shrugging.

"Well, I like the Pegasus boots." Smith offered, stomping on the ground twice to showcase the boots he was wearing.

"Oh those are useful," Rinku said with a nod.

"Or- well actually maybe the fire rod..." He mumbled, eyes flickering red. Va shook his head, frowning, eyes turning green, "Actually, the roc cape was really useful... fighting a wind mage and all..... or no! No," blue overtook green with a gesture of his fist, "The power bracelet!"

"OH just pick one!" Hope huffed. Rinku reached up to flick his ear. Hope squeaked, finally leaning up off her.

"They were all useful for different things!" Smith complained, sighing. "Hmm. I guess my favorite thing as a kid was the Kinstones."

"What are those?" Forest asked.

"They're magic tokens that you could match with people, and lucky things would happen.... they were a bit of a fad," Smith said with a shrug.

"Ohhhh that sounds fun." Engie mumbled. "I like matching games."

"What about matching games?" Ordon's voice picked up. Hero's Spirit followed after and settled to float beside Sky, tilting their head.

"Hope asked us what our favorite items were." Sky explained.

"Smith got magic stones to match with other people in his time!" Engineer said.

"Oh! Sounds interesting."

"What's your favorite?" asked Forest.

"Oh, hm." Ordon muttered, brows pinched "Fishing rod?" He offered tentatively.

"What?" Hope spat, "I know you're a fluffy farm dog, but at least pick something worthy of adventuring with!"

"Fishing is just fine of a thing to like," Rinku defended with a light glare back at Hope.

"Oh no I can think of something more adventurous," Ordon mumbled, "eh....the Dominion Rod was fun?"

"What does it do?" Wind asked.

"Let me control certain statues. Mostly just walk em around." He said, "not the most generalizable tool, but fun."

"You are. So boring." Hope muttered.

"Y'all are welcome." Ordon said with a smile.

The group giggled.

"I think other than the Spirit, the only one who hasn't answered now is Forest."

"Oh! Oh..." Forest frowned, pensive as he considered. "Well."

"No pressure, really," Sky said with a light smile.

Forest crossed his arms, "No, I know it. It's the Ocarina." He said eventually. "It is the single most important tool throughout the entire time I've traveled."

Hero glanced at him, their face changing to look like Forest, then an older version of him. Then they flickered to look like a much younger Smith, and a small pink haired Rinku, and back to their self. "Ocarinas tend to be important, don't they?"

"Why do you say that?" Engineer asked, glancing at Smith and Rinku.

"Oh, they just. Keep coming up in my head." They shifted to look like Engineer, clad in green, then Sky and eventually Hope, small and pensive, "Musical instruments in general, really."

A small quiet pause settled through the space. Hope, the usual one to interrupt silence, stared at the echo of his smaller self.

"Huh." Glider eventually huffed, just to fill the space. "Actually, Hero, what about you? Out of all the things you can recall, what's your favorite item?"

The Hero shook their head to clear their mind, shifting back to normal. "Oh boy. I don't really know I- ....wait. Why did so many of you have boomerangs? They're not even useful half the time."

A flurry of noise broke out at once. Rinku snorted. Hope flailed his arms, complaining as if it was a stupid question. Engineer and Wind both laughed. Ordon mumbled something about monkeys and fairies that only Sky seemed to have paid attention to, eyes going wide. Glider just shrugged.

Ultimately, Hero never really answered the question.

[mehiwilldoitlater]

"Ah, there you are! I thought I would never find you!"

The mech stared at you for a brief moment, then scufted a little and kept up with his painting session.

"Did not Ratchet tell you to stop coming into my quarter?"

"Nope! He told me specifically to come every now and then to remind you about your lack of social activity!"

"He's the one who's talking here..."

Despite his attempt to get rid of your presence, Sunstreaker never actually succeeded in it. In some way, he started to think that you enjoyed pestering him—maybe a small revenge from the doctor.

He kept ignoring your presence until he understood where you were putting your organic hands.

"Please stop touching my painting."

"I'm not going to ruin them. You're good at it, you know! Like really good!"

"Pff, like a human, you could even get what I do with that."

"Wanna bet?"

He met his annoyed glare with your challenger one. He didn't need to bet; he knew that a sophisticated mind like his was superior to a simple one like yours! He didn't even want to partake in that silly thing; maybe ignoring you would finally do the trick. He kept it up even after you started to analyze one of the bunches—a composition of lines of different colors—and put it into a strange wave.

"Okay, this one is...chaos, I get it."

"Woooow, Sherlock, nice guess..."

"But I see some order in it. With the color. If it were made with a bunch of colors, I would have stopped at chaos, but I can see that there's a pattern here. You used different shades of red, right? They don't follow some logic themselves, so they can be mistakenly confused with the same shade, but the white and black help to see the differences."

He stopped drawing but refused to watch you, only opting to try to process your rumbling.

"The black line and the white ones don't follow a real one; they look like doodles, but the red ones follow a wave, like an actual movement. There's this blueish tones here and there; they look like...OOOH OHOHOH, it's your brother!"

He finally looked at you, shocked. 

"It-it's...no, it's-"

"Of course it is! Sideswipe behavior always looks quite caustic on its own, but you sense the logic in it! You found an order! And on the red line are his own unique traits? His personality??? Awww, that's so sweet! You must care so much for him!"

He couldn't process the right words; he didn't have any! Which was a surprise; he always had bad remarks, something pitty to say, and now there you were, waltzing around and just leaving him out of words.

You finally decided to leave the painting alone, facing the machine, now in pure confusion.

"Well, as always, I must remind you about Rtachet, Yada Yada Yada, and OH, tomorrow me and Bluestreak are going out; if you want, just call! You know where he sleeps, all right?"

And so you left, like nothing happened. You left him alone in his own thoughts, and he grabbed his brush so harshly that he must have left the sign. He started to torture the canvas on which he was currently working.

"Stupid human, stupid artistic sensibility, stupid psychoanalysis session!"

He stopped passing the brush and started to use it as a knife.

"You can't just come here and be this nice! I don't want you to be nice with me; I don't want you around at all."

He changed colors several times in a row.

"Who needs a human that is this nice and kind?! Who needs a stupid, fleshy person who just cares so much for me?! I don't need you to care for me! They even act like I like them!"

He kept pressing the brush.

"Like they can just come and hang around with everyone! If they like everyone, then why bother with me?! I can't stand it! I-...."

Despite the mess of colors, it was nice. A good view. They looked like flowers—so many colorful flowers. The colors were bright—not too hard, but bright. He held the canvas, realizing that he painted it thinking of you.

And in the center, a bright yellow one stood among the others, screaming, Pick me.

"FRAG IT!"

He threw away the canvas, trying to convince himself that that thing was just his imagination and that there was nothing but a bunch of colors and curves.

And, while conversing with himself, he glanced at the small communication device, thinking about your small trip with Bluestreak tomorrow.

//////////////

@hey-name-arya-name-ar @malewife-overlord @ladyofnegativity

i did it

[dragonridernoobie]

Inspiration has struck again! Okay so, ya know Clementine from the walking dead game?(if you haven’t played it I highly recommend it, make sure you start at season 1) okay so I’m specifically looking for a season 2 Clementine with a mix of season 4, okay so reader is badass, protective, dangerous(oooooo), and grew up in another universe separate from the bots and kids where a zombie apocalypse has occurred! She tries her best to protect the kids while she’s stuck in their world, looking for this other kid she’s was taking care of as well, and I kinda wanna see how she would react to first meeting the bots? I think she’d try and shoot them or attack them if they were in their holoforms, if it was Raf she’d probably try to protect him as she seems to have a soft spot for younger kids and he reminds her of the kid she was protecting- and I’m rambling:,) sorry! Anyways, this request is for Optimus, Ratchet, Bumblebee, and Wheeljack! If you don’t know much about Clementine look up some videos of her! She is awesome and I love her! Oh and she has no hesitation to kill.

(Just a warning I may request something similar to this in the future:,) I have a problem😔)

Thank you! *virtual Head pats*(if okay ofc)

P.S. Feel free to take any creative ideas you have that would fit to the personality I described and add it, I really just enjoy seeing what you come up with

Okay, so first thing fist, I don't know shit about the walking dead. Like, I was never into that stuff because i wasn't interested in it. (I was more into transformers, undertale, and tmnt at the time). But I will try my best, so thank you from the bottom of my heart that you tell me her personality. (I suck at reasurch), but I will try my best. Hope you enjoy it.

Transformers X Zombie Survival Reader

Optimus

When optimus met (Y/N) it was by accident.

Optimus was trying to stop the decepticons from getting a new artifact but when it activated, it and the next thing he sees is a human, in torn up clothes, has a few weapons, including the crossbow they where holding

The human looks between optimus and the decepticons.

After a silent moment, the human quickly throws some things on the ground and soon sparks start to fly.

It blinds them and the human takes their chance to run.

When optimus saw this, he ran after them.

Soo. He found them and told them he ment no harm and he needed to get them out of here.

Let's say (Y/N) dident trust him and yelled at him. Saying that they won't be tricked by a zombie cybertronian!

He was very confused but explained he was not a zombie.

Once he gained their trust, he brought them to the base.

They immediately took responsibility to protect the kids.

They also explained to the team about their world.

They felt terrible for them and told them that they welcomed to stay.

They told them they would rather return to their world since their jack, miko, and Ralphal are still alive and needed their help.

The team then decided to help them home.

Ratchet

When ratchet met (Y/N) it was by accident.

He was alone at base, fixing the land bridge.

When suddenly it malfunctions and causes a explosion.

When the smoke cleared, he is met face to face with a human.

This human was in army clothes, had weapons on their back, and they where holding a crossbow.

After a silent moment of looking at eachother, the human says his name in a whisper.

He told them how they got here.

(Y/N) explained that they where from a diffrent universe where planet earth has become a waste land and there is zombies.

They cried and huge ratchet.

Since ratchet was dead in their universe.

Poor ratchet dude, he had to explain to the team how a new human has been brought to the base

And that it was his fault.

(Y/N) took their role as the kids portecter.

When ratchrt offer to send them back, (Y/N) told them that there was no point of returning home.

Earth of her universe was dead. The autobots are no more, the kids are dead, and the decepticons are all zombies.

They welcome (Y/N) with open arms.

Wheeljack

Wheeljack was flying in his ship when he came across a black hole.

He accidentally got to close and was sucked in.

He found himself in another world.

It was earth but not.

That's when he met (Y/N).

He tried to go into a military base to steal something but came across (Y/N) who attacked him, thinking that he was a zombie.

When wheeljack explained that he wasent a zombie, he took this chance to look over (Y/N).

That's when he noticed how they where dressed.

Crossbow, guns, army clothes, coverd in dirt.

He asked what happened and (Y/N) explained that the decepticons realized a new weapon.

It caused everything alive, including cybertronians, to become zombies.

They where currently the only human alive that (Y/N) believes.

She helps wheeljack to fix his ship, in return he brings her to his world since there's nothing left for them here

He agrees.

After they return to his world, he interduce them to the autobot teams

Wheeljack has a new space traveling buddy.

Bumblebee

Bumblebee met (Y/N) when he was fighting Soundwave.

Soundwave opened 2 portals next to Bumblebee and sent him to another dimension.

That's when he met himself but as a zombie.

Bumblebee ran for his life, fighting for his life and soon found some shelter.

That's when he met (Y/N)

He beeped at them, trying to tell them he wasent a zombie.

Thankfully (Y/N) understood him.

They explained what happened and that the kids, autobots, decepticons, and life on earth are all gone.

Bumblebee felt bad, but offered to bring them back to his world.

(Y/N) was super happy and agreed.

They took him to the now abandoned autobot base and showed them the still intact ground bridge.

When he activated it, he wen thru with (Y/N).

The team was so happy to see him again and welcomed (Y/N) with open arms.

The kids loved (Y/N) and (Y/N) was so happy to see the kids again.

(Y/N) told optimus that they where so happy to see him again.

Since in their world, optimus went missing.

He told them that he is happy that he has a new friend and teammate.