#I once again have too many memes for one post so expect another one shortly

[iamapoopmuffin]

Taking bets on who Idia meant to send that DM to-

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

[akatsukitobi]

Some of you may have noticed that I reblog a lot of Ace posts.

There is a reason for that other than taking pride in myself, and I’ve decided that I want to make a post with my story, no matter how boring it may seem. I even loaded this up on my Chromebook so I could insert a line break!

Where I grew up, you didn’t hear words like “Asexual”, and “Aromantic”. The town I grew up in was what those of us that live here call “Hickville, USA”, and it had a population of 700. Truthfully, the only time I had heard the term was as an adult, and only in memes making fun of it. 

So at 15, I got my first real boyfriend. I had previous boyfriends, of course, but it would be those little elementary school things that “don’t really count.” I had only had friends that were boys up until this point, since me and girls didn’t really click, and boys DID NOT talk about sex and crushes when I was around, so I had no real clue that I wasn’t normal. 

Even after I started dating my boyfriend, I didn’t notice. We did all of the things teenagers do. We made out, we hugged (though we were super awkward trying to initiate contact at first), and eventually, after three months of working up to it, we were sexually active. 

I started having sex because that is what teenage couples do. I felt like it was normal to do so, and didn’t see a problem with it.

Obviously, we eventually started noticing that I wasn’t “getting there” when we had sex, and after months of trying, we determined that it was because of my depression. That there was just something wrong with me. That I needed to be “fixed”, and that it was my fault that we were not having explosively hot sex. On our 8th anniversary, we got married, and my sex drive had not changed. 

The amount we were having sex did. 

I didn’t want to. Like ever. and we assumed once again that it was because of some lingering issues from depression. We couldn’t afford to send me to a doctor, and I was also a giant procrastinating chicken. So we compromised for sex, just like many other things in a relationship.

I started watching Naruto last year because I wanted to learn Japanese. I picked it randomly out of a list of shows to watch alongside my learning, and fell in love with it. I stopped trying to learn Japanese, but kept watching Naruto. Then, I started reading fanfiction. Naruto was the first thing in YEARS that I was able to stick to for more than a couple weeks, and even my husband was impressed. 

I assumed that everything written into fanfiction was exaggerated. You know, the white knight rescues the princess and they have all these magical tingles and feelings that aren’t remotely close to realistic.

I started writing fanfiction for myself shortly after, adding in all of those ridiculous embellishments like fuzzy feelings and loud moans that just simply weren’t true.

Finally, back in January, I created a tumblr to post my writings to and look through fanart, and in less than a week I saw my first post about Asexuality. I had never given the term a second thought until a random page I followed posted a random fact about it, and my interest was piqued. 

I was at work, working alongside my husband, when I finally broke down, went to the bathroom, and looked it up. The definition and descriptions of Asexuality? Literally describing me perfectly.

I went back and told my best friend, who also happens to be my husband, that I might be Asexual. And he shrugs and goes “Probably”, because I somehow lucked into having the most supportive husband and friend possible.

12 years. 12 years of being sexually active and feeling terrible about myself because I was not normal. 12 years of looking at all the self-help pages I could find on the internet and desperately trying to fix myself so that my husband could have all the sex he wanted, with someone who also enjoyed it, and likely only making my depression worse in the process. 

It was nice, having a label. We spent the next 4 hours at work talking it out, talking about how I wasn’t broken, and generally looking at things pretty positively. 

And then when we got home, we started talking about sex, and I learned that everything in fanfiction wasn’t made up. Some people really get to feel tingles when they kiss, they really get butterflies when they are around someone they love, and they actually feel things “down there”. 

Then, it hit me. I wasn’t broken, and that meant I couldn’t be fixed. There was no fixing all these things I couldn’t feel, and there was no hope that we would ever have that “moment”, where we absolutely had to have each other. That sexual connection would remain one-sided for the rest of our lives. 

I found it a bit hard to write for a couple weeks after that. How could I bring myself to continue writing about all these wonderful things that I would never be able to experience? 

Eventually, I pushed past it. This is me, and I still feel better knowing that I actually fit somewhere. 

In August, I determined I was Aromantic, and another piece of the puzzle was put into place. 

Being Aro/Ace is a relief, because I am not broken. I no longer have to fix myself. I still have sex with my husband, but I do not have any crazy expectations about what I should be feeling. We try to make it better for him, instead. 

I still get sad from time to time thinking about how much I am missing out on, but I have never felt more like “me” in my entire life. I feel like a real person, like I fit somewhere after going through a large chunk of my life feeling like an outcast, and all because of one post on Tumblr.

Do I think that by reblogging a bunch of Ace posts that I will help someone find themselves? No. The chances of that probably aren’t that good... but you never know. If my asexuality posts bother you, I am truly sorry, but it means too much to me and (I’m now discovering) plenty of others, who appreciate being heard, simply because now we have somewhere that we belong.

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

104 for Jack, Sammy and Wally?

104. That’s a fact, Jack.

(I’m gonna do something with my ‘the ink itself frees everybody because Joey didn’t feed it’ Au* as I’ve made memes about it but haven’t written (or posted what I have) anything about it. *Title still a wip)

There were many, many, pros to getting freed from the studio, or rather, the studio's loop in most people's cases. Almost too many for anyone who had the misfortune of once living in it to count. But there were also a fair amount of cons. One of those cons being that it was kinda difficult to sneak ink monsters and living cartoon characters into society without raising suspicions. Thankfully for the group, by the time they got back to civilization it was dark and cold enough for coats, giant hats, and long scarves to be normal wear when out and about, making it easy to hide most of the odder ink monsters. But it was obvious that lingering in heavily packed and bustling cities like New York wasn't the greatest long-term investment.

Another big con was that Sammy went missing shortly after the studio went down once and for all. And as it had happened every time that the mad maestro was taken out of the picture 'for good' in the studio, the lost village was once again in a chaotic uproar that were refusing to listen to Henry, Tom and Allison. This time, with their heightened sentience, these angry ink creatures were mostly vocally angry, there were still some lost ones who got physical with the gang, (but they were rare as most of them feared Tom, Allison, Susie, and Norman enough to not try anything.) and ones who were both.

"Ah, for the love of... not these guys again."

"Liar! Liars all of you!"

"I'm gonna rip you to pieces!"

"Fuck off!"

"You killed him! Again and again you killed him! Every single time... You came to OUR village, you defiled OUR church, you had killed OUR prophet, followed it up by killing all of us as well... And now that he won't come back you expect us to grovel at your feet and obey your every whim?!"

"Behind you, Dumbass!"

"Leave us alone! Don't you think you've done enough?!"

"Start praying!"

"What makes you think you're any different from that lying puppeteer?!"

"You can run from your sins, but you can't hide from them!"

"Get them, get them, get them, get them!"

"Kill them!"

"You Bastards!"

"Just like Joey... Just like Joey... Just like Joey... Just like Joey... Just like Joey... Just like Joey... Just like Joey... Just like Joey..."

"Enough, you sons of bitches!"

"Not again..."

"Go Away!"

"You've led him astray for too long false shepherd, now that you've powerless, you can't expect us to follow you too..."

If it was difficult to herd thousands of ink creatures in general, it was even harder to herd them when they were fraught with worry and despair over their missing prophet as well as furious and terrified of the ones they blamed for his disappearance. Who had unfortunately for Henry, had been himself, Tom, Allison, Susie, and Inky, who was very bitter about learning that pretty much everyone in ‘his’ cult were actually only loyal to the missing musician.

The task of trying to get the lost ones and searchers to not start a giant riot that would cause a global eldritch ink outbreak had fallen to Jack and Wally. As the group had agreed that as they were the ones that Sammy was closest to before the studio fell, they’d be the ones who’d the village would listen to out of everyone who had been on Henry's side.

While it was a good idea on paper, in practice, the reality was that a swollen searcher with a hat and sentience and a talking tape recorder simply didn't make good replacements for the Prophet, let alone convince anyone that they were. However, they were mercifully a lot more civil with the pair than they were with Henry's other friends. Well, at least they were for the most part.

"I'm sorry, but I just can't take you two seriously. As leaders, I mean."

"No thanks, but good luck finding someone who will take you up on that."

"The Prophet was a complete loon, and an idiot for trusting the false shepherd in the first place... But he was a loon who had held us together when no one else would."

"Please just leave."

"You weren't there for us then, how can we trust you to be there for us now?"

"We understand that they fear we'll infect the world, but please tell them that they should at least give us time to grieve. We won't be leaving this place anytime soon to our knowledge."

"...He was more than just our prophet to us you know."

"Count yourself lucky none of us have killed you on the spot yet and just crawl back to your precious 'Creator' already."

"I doubt either of you two together have half the willpower he had."

"...Go Away."

"I want to trust you two... but I don't like that you're trying to replace him. Especially so soon."

After a long day of rejections and getting doors either slammed in their faces or having people awkwardly creaking the door closed in their faces, Jack crawled back to his hotel room, collapsed on the bed and chucked Wally onto the pillow of the other bed. Both glad the day was over and dreading the next one.

"Ugh, what a town..." Jack sighed as he was almost about to melt into bed, he quickly reformed with a sense of chilled dread in his tone "...I don't think that Conner or the Ink Demon will be too happy to hear that they don't plan on leaving."

Static played out of Wally's speakers before the tape recorder man finally got his thoughts together. "...Fuck."

"Fuck indeed." Jack nodded. "Fuck, indeed..."

"What are we gonna do?!"

"Calmly explain to the group that the town needs time to process everything going on before they try getting a new leader. ...And hope that the Ink Demon doesn't try to make the situation worse."

"Uh huh... Easieah said than done. How do we pull THAT off?"

"Good point, um..."

As the two mulled over how to break the news to the group, the phone on the nightstand began to ring. Startling both of them out of their thoughts.

"Should I pick it up?"

"Well I ain't got no arms."

"Oh! right..."

The searcher fumbled with the phone for a bit, almost worried that he accidentally hung up on the mystery caller. But instead, a familiar voice came through the speaker.

"Hello, Is this Wally and Jack?"

"Sammy! Thank goodness ya called! You've gotta entiah cult dat misses ya! We've trying gettin' them outta the studio, but they won't budge! They'll only listen to you!"

The speaker paused for a moment, almost as if expecting that response and unsure of how to proceed.

"...Well that's awkward because I only called to ask if you two wanted anything from Europe."

"What?!"

"As long as you're asking and if it's not too far out of your way, there's this Spanish nougat called Turrón. I've always kinda wanted to try it."

"Got it. Wally, what about you?"

"Ya gotta be pullin' my leg! You're going to Europe?! Now of all times?!"

"That's a fact Jack."

"I'm not Jack he's ova there!"

"Wally, it means that I'm not discussing this any further. And in this case, I couldn't even if I wanted to."

"I...!"

Wally thought this through. He knew Sammy and he knew that if he tried to push any more than he already was, he'd only shove him away, possibly when he'd be in danger too. But if he didn't, he'd lose the precious opportunity to get information on where the musician went. But if he did, he'd do unrepairable damage to his relationship with the man who had done everything in his power to keep him and his family off of the streets in his time of need. But if he didn't, Thomas would be mad at him if he told him about talking to Sammy.

He made up his mind.

"...Fine. Get me... da weirdest thing ya can find an' buy in a foreign gas station."

"Got it."

"And Stay safe, ya hear me! I don't wanna hear ova da news dat ya got yerself killed ova somethin' stupid okay?"

"Okay, you two stay safe as well. Bye guys."

"Bye."

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Fallout of Darkness -- Another Meme

I unfortunately don’t recall where I got this one, though I do remember picking it up in the #fallout 4 tag -- I think a number of people were using it for their Sole Survivors. Which is what I did! With the added twist of “let me do this universe’s Alice as well!” So you get double the information for the same price! :P

Note: This is vaguely set I’d say about halfway through the plot of Fallout 4 -- Victor and Alice have had the run-in with Ug-Qualtoth and gotten Alice sunlight immunity (see this post for more details), and they’ve met at least most of the other companions. Also yes, pets -- Victor does indeed adopt the “wounded dog” encounter in my verse! (And if anyone knows of a mod that lets you send her to a settlement for real. . .) Please remember I haven’t actually played much of the main plot myself, so things may be a little vague/prone to changing once I get further in!

name ➔

V: Victor Fitzwilliam Van Dort – my mother wanted me to have an "aristocratic" middle name, for some reason.

A: Alice Pleasance Liddell – yes, just like the historical Alice. I guess after Lizzie decided I should be "Alice," my parents decided to go whole hog with the reference.

are you single ➔

V: [with a warm look at Alice] No, I'm not.

A: [with a warm look back] Not anymore.

are you happy ➔

V: [still with that warm look at Alice] Very much so.

A: [smiling] A lot happier than I was in the past, that's for sure. Which is kind of sad, given it's post the nuclear apocalypse now. . .

are you angry ➔

V: [thoughtful] I – I was for a while. Not so much anymore – the worst of it has cooled. But – there's some things I think I'll always be angry about.

A: I think my answer's about the same. Given some of the nonsense we've been through, some low-level anger is just to be expected, honestly.

are your parents still married ➔

V: . . .they were when the bombs dropped.

A: Mine were when that bastard Bumby set our house on fire to cover up what he'd done to my sister.

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔

V: Burtonsville – it's a tiny village in England. I don't actually remember it, though – my parents moved to Boston when I was only about a year and a half old. I grew up here in Boston and the surrounding area.

A: Oxford, England – my father was the Dean of Christ Church at the college when he was alive. I have fond memories, but I haven't been back since the fire.

hair color ➔

V: Black. Mother occasionally insisted it was dark brown, but – black.

A: Black, though weirdly I actually was almost a redhead as a child. It darkened straight through brown to this as I grew up. I've never been sure why it got so dark, though I suspect all that time lying in Rutledge, getting probably-inadequate nutrition and light for a growing girl, didn't help matters.

eye color ➔

V: Dark brown.

A: Green, though Victor likes being poetic with descriptions like "emerald fire" sometimes.

mood ➔

V: . . .er – generally anxious? Trying to be helpful regardless?

A: Sarcastic? To hide that I'm more worried than I let on?

gender ➔

V: Male, he/him.

A: Female, she/her.

summer or winter ➔

V: Summer – I'm not a fan of the cold. Though spring's my actual favorite season – I love seeing everything come back to life.

A: I feel like I should like winter more, because of the longer nights, but now that we've actually fixed the sunlight issue. . .yes, summer. I'm not really a fan of the cold either.

morning or afternoon ➔

V: Afternoon – I've never been that much of a morning person, and mornings tend to be – stressful in the Commonwealth.

A: To be fair, so are the afternoons, but – yes, generally you're not dealing with threats still wiping the sleep from your eyes in said afternoons. And in my case, they're closer to night, which is still the time when I feel most myself, so. . .

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔

V: [exchanging a very warm look with Alice] Yes.

A: [giving it right back] Very much so.

do you believe in love at first sight ➔

V: Maybe not true love, but attraction? A sense of connection, kinship? Certainly – that's how I felt when I first met Victoria, and later Emily.

A: I can get behind that – my mother said she felt a pull toward my father when they first met. . .but I don't think love at first sight exists. You need to get to know someone – form a solid bond first.

who ended your last relationship ➔

V: [darkly cheerful] The American and Chinese governments, throwing nuclear missiles at each other! [sighing] No, that’s not quite fair – yes, they drove us into Vault 111, but the ones who actually murdered my wife and girlfriend were Kellogg and the Institute. The former more obviously than the latter, but. . . [voice cracks] Damn it, what was wrong with putting everyone's life support back on. . .

A: [puts a comforting hand on his arm] In my case, I never really had a romantic relationship before – even friendships were kind of fleeting, or long-distance. I've gone along with flirtations in the past to get meals, sure, but none of those ever turned into relationships. The closest I had was – well, Heather getting blood-bonded to me, which I didn't even mean to do. I was just trying to help her, and I didn't realize at the time. . . [bites her lip] I ended that – sent her away before she could get hurt by my enemies, explaining that what would make me happiest would be for her to be with her grandmother and stay in college. I wanted to go back and maybe try to help her some more once I was done with LaCroix's bullshit, but then. . .I hope she had a good life, in the end.

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔

V: Not knowingly – goodness, what started off my, Victoria, and Emily's threesome relationship was an attempt not to break anyone's heart! It worked out very well, until. . . [shakes his head]

A: [squeezes his arm gently] I probably broke Heather's heart by sending her away – she looked so sad as she walked out the door. But it was for the best – I dread to think what would have happened to her if the Sabbat had realized I had a ghoul! Other than that – depends on if anyone I've drunk from was hoping for more than just a "quickie." I doubt that, though.

are you afraid of commitments ➔

V: I'm afraid of them being forced on me because of people randomly promoting me every time I even get close to an organization. [sighing, reaching up to fiddle with a chain around his neck] But – maybe a little. Seeing – seeing your wife get shot in front of you. . .then your girlfriend's half-rotted corpse beside her. . .it sticks with you.

A: [nods] Being the only survivor of the house fire that killed your family sticks with you too. As does two of the most prominent men in your life being the bastard who killed them and was trying to wipe your mind, and the bastard who killed you and turned you into a bloodsucker. Add in my own rather unromantic nature, and – yes, I did pretty much avoid commitments for a while. [smiles at Victor] I think I'm a little better about it now, though.

have you hugged someone in the last week ➔

V: Oh, yes – Preston and Piper just the other day, in fact!

A: I'm not usually much of one for being touched, so I don't hug much. . . [thinks for a moment, then hugs Victor] But I'll happily make the answer a "yes" in this case.

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔

V: Does the brief period of time where Emily was crushing on me before Victoria noticed and decided to let her and me know it was okay if we wanted to date too count? Otherwise, I really don't think so. I wasn't popular with girls before meeting Victoria.

A: Bumby never made it clear whether he wanted to just turn me into a prostitute or fuck me himself as well, but I wouldn't count him anyway, because he was a horrible waste of flesh. So I have no idea – don't think so. Heather was – very open about her admiration.

have you ever broken your own heart ➔

V: Again, what happened between me, Victoria, and Emily was an attempt to avoid that. . .I can't say I have. It seems like others always break it for me.

A: Sending Heather away did hurt me a bit – not in the same way it hurt her, but it was nice to have someone else around the haven. . . [looks up at Victor] And I did resist romance initially here. Fortunately tall, dark, and handsome here didn't let me break my own heart.

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔

V: Love, definitely. [going pink] I mean, lust can be nice, but. . .

A: Love – even alive, I wasn't particularly interested in sex. And as a vampire, any urges that way now go toward sucking on people's necks. Which I guess is sex-adjacent, but still. . . Maybe "love" for serious relationships, "lust" for getting a meal.

lemonade or iced tea ➔

V: Oh, I haven't had either in ages. . .and I recall needing a lot of sugar for both to enjoy them. . .I guess lemonade. I think I had that more often.

A: Literally can't drink either these days, for multiple reasons. . .but I'm going with lemonade because I have fonder memories of that. And – hmmm. I wonder if it’s possible to make a variation with that “plasma fruit” Ted came up with at Wildwood Cemetery. . .

cats or dogs ➔

V: Dogs! I had a dog growing up, Scraps, who was my best friend! And Victoria, Emily, and I were going to get a dog shortly after. . . [pause, shakes head] And now I have Dogmeat and Mutt! They’re a good pair.

A: Cats! My best friends growing up were the family cat, Dinah, and her two kittens, Snowdrop and Kitty. Being a vampire does tend to make animals rather mistrustful of me, sadly, but I had some luck feeding ferals pre-War. And we managed to trap a cat recently who didn’t immediately try to claw me and run away – I’ve named her Kit-Kat.

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔

V: A few best friends – I'm n-not good with lots of people, and I just. . .I'm always so awkward, s-socially. I'd rather have a couple of people I know I can trust.

A: The same – I don't trust easily, after all the bullshit I've been through. Give me a small circle of people I know have my back over a larger group of more casual friends any day.

wild night out or romantic night in ➔

V: Romantic night in. I'm not much for parties. I like staying home with the people I love and just – being together.

A: Sort of like "love or lust" above, this kind of depends. I like a romantic night in for any actual relationships, but I did my fair share of clubbing to find someone to drink from back in the day.

day or night ➔

V: Well, I do like a good sunny day, but. . . [looking at Alice] I've really come to appreciate the nights in the Commonwealth. And not just because of the stars.

A: [smirking at him] Flatterer. . .but yes, night. For the longest time, it was the only time of day I could be out in. . .and even though it's wonderful now to be able to go out during the day and enjoy that, night is still when I feel most myself.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔

Victor: No, but that's because I never did. I grew up in the middle of a plague – I didn't have much incentive to sneak out! It took until I was fourteen for cases to drop enough in our part of Boston for my parents to be comfortable sending me to a school with other children, and by then I was so used to staying at home, sneaking out never occurred to me.

Alice: Oh god, yes, the New Plague, that was horrific. . .on my end, yes, I was. I tried to sneak out a couple of times as a small child to have adventures in the garden late at night or in the middle of storms. . .if my parents didn't catch me, though, my older sister did. I think I only actually got outside once, and even then it was only for a couple of minutes before Lizzie caught up with me. Mostly because she was trying to sneak out too, and didn't want her little sister tagging along.

fallen down/up the stairs ➔

Victor: . . .yes. To both. I – I can be pretty clumsy if I'm n-not paying attention to where I'm going.

Alice: [giving him an odd look] I've fallen down stairs – rushing around as a child on imaginary adventures – but never up. I'm – not entirely sure how you manage that.

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt ➔

V: [tugging at the chain around his neck again, which is revealed to have a blue butterfly pendant and a gold wedding ring strung on it] Yes. Something I can't have, I'm sad to say.

A: [playing with her own necklace, which is an old iron key shaped like the symbol for Venus] Same here. I'd like to think your Victoria and Emily and my parents and Lizzie are in the same place, at least.

wanted to disappear ➔

V: Oh, plenty of times. I have an unfortunate knack for saying the wrong thing and then wishing I could melt into the floor. And – well, I suppose every time I've been hiding from enemies and wanted to just turn invisible counts. . .

A: I wanted to disappear in the asylum a couple of times, in the sense of 'just stop existing.' Survivor's guilt does a number on your brain, let me tell you. . .though I can actually disappear these days, thanks to Obfuscate! Though, annoyingly, I genuinely can't do it if someone's looking.

smile or eyes ➔

V: Oh, back to these? [thoughtful] I – honestly, I think eyes. Victoria and Emily's eyes are one of the things I remember best about them. . . [smiles at Alice] And my current paramour has some of the most beautiful eyes in the Commonwealth.

A: You're going to make me blush despite being dead if you keep on like that. Though, what's good for the goose is good for the gander – while I like your eyes, it's your smile that really warms my undead heart.

shorter or taller ➔

V: Um – shorter out of necessity. I haven't met many women who are six-foot-three.

A: Similarly, I'm five-foot-five, so I kind of have to go taller.

intelligence or attraction ➔

V: . . .I assume this means intelligence or looks, and – I can't deny I like a pretty face, but the main reason I got together with the women I did is because I could hold a good conversation with them. Intelligence.

A: My attraction seems to be based on actually getting to know a person, and I don't suffer fools gladly. Intelligence all the way.

hook-up or relationship ➔

V: Oh, relationship. I never had a hook-up. I can't – I can't just do the "one night stand" thing. I need something a little more.

A: Another one where my actual feelings versus how I'd act to get a meal clash – though admittedly, I never had a "proper" hook-up. I'd just get someone in a quiet spot, suck a bit of blood, and let them get on with their lives. But now that things are better, I'm only too happy to commit myself to a real relationship.

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔

V: Well, it’s something of a moot point now, but. . . [he waggles a hand, making a face] I have to admit, I never liked my parents much. They weren’t very “hands-on” in raising me, and I often felt like they considered me a burden. Or a bargaining chip for social status. I did my best not to rock the boat just because upsetting my mother never ended well, but. . . [sigh] It wasn’t good.

A: By contrast, I had a perfectly lovely family life – my parents were kind and encouraged my sister and I in our various pursuits, and Lizzie. . .she was the best older sister a girl could have. I felt like I could tell her anything, and even if the age difference made playing together difficult, she did try whenever she had a spare moment. The reason I have such an “enthusiastic” imagination is because Mama, Papa, and Lizzie never tried to stifle it. I was – I felt so loved and happy the first eight years of my life. . .and then Bumby took it all away. [she looks away] I – it’s not fair.

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔

V: [completely deadpan] I was frozen at the age of 27 in a vault designed to store people long-term for unknown reasons, and was finally thawed 210 years later, to find my wife and girlfriend dead, my son kidnapped, and the world above having been turned into a wasteland of vicious wildlife, super mutants, and raiders. With parts of it still irradiated because people are STILL launching small nuclear missiles at each other. Also the people who kidnapped my son can apparently make synthetic humans and use them as spies. And in the middle of all this, I’ve somehow ended up the leader of a bunch of little farms and such that composes a ragtag peacekeeping force that is still better than the actual assholes in power armor who have moved in. You tell me.

A: I can top that – turned into a vampire at age 20 after moving to Los Angeles to make sure I was far away from a murder I’d committed, then ended up roaming the world after a literally-explosive end to my time there as everyone’s errand boy. Was in Boston when the bombs dropped and got staked when my hidey-hole collapsed in on me, meaning I too got essentially “frozen” for 210 years, until a raider attacking this fellow here yanked the stake out and I responded by sucking him dry. Leaving me in a post-nuclear apocalypse trying to survive in a world where anyone’s blood might be at least slightly radioactive. Also we discovered that vampires are in fact the result of a little bit of some Lovecraftian horror worshiped by the people over at Dunwich Borers leaking into our world and infecting our souls. So that’s fun.

have you ever run away from home ➔

V: No – again, grew up in a plague, never really wanted to leave the house because of it.

A: I threatened to, once or twice, when upset, but I never followed through. Though I guess my moving to California could be construed as a kind of running away after I killed Bumby. . .but I never thought of Houndsditch as home. Same with Los Angeles, after I left there in the wake of that mess with LaCroix.

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔

V: No, though – sometimes I thought my mother was thinking about it. Whenever my social awkwardness reared its ugly head at one of her parties.

A: My parents were never the sort to do that, and Bumby of course wanted me close at Houndsditch. And I left polite vampire society on my own terms after LaCroix.

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔

V: . . .I’m not entirely sure how to classify my relationship with Strong. But I know he thinks more highly of me than I do of him. I – I try to be understanding, but it gets very tiring to listen to him go on about how one day Super Mutants will kill everything.

A: I had to be a lot friendlier to a lot people back in Los Angeles than I would have liked. . .but I don’t think any of them were laboring under the delusion we were actual friends. So no – if I don’t like you, I don’t hide it.

who is your best friend ➔

V: Alice, Preston, and Piper, definitely – they’re the ones I’ve traveled the most with, shared the most with, and just – feel the most comfortable around. [smiles] Oh, and Dogmeat of course.

A: Victor’s definitely my best friend – and frankly, I feel pretty close to Piper and Preston myself. They’re good people. [she smirks] Though Hancock and Nick are definitely the best people to snark with.

who knows everything about you ➔

V: Probably most of the people in the Commonwealth, I’ve had to explain about being frozen and what happened to my son a lot. . .more seriously, I’d say the above three. They’re the people I’m closest to, and the ones I’m most comfortable sharing information with.

A: I don’t know about everything, but – yes, Victor. And probably Piper knows the most after him, given she wanted to interview me for her paper.

[valentinesparda]

F/O Love Tropes all numbers for hmm.. let's go with Jericho :3c

@dzvagabond oh im fuckin YEARNING bro

meme is here

--------------------

1. Aborted Declaration of Love: How long did it take for you to finally confess to your F/O? How did it go? Were there several attempts, or was it just The One?

SEVERAL ATTEMPTS. flubbed attempts. anubis tries to confess too many times only to get interrupted, and jericho tries at the worst times and anubis is like “whatever you are trying to talk about it can wait until we’re out of danger.

whenever theyre both on the same page, anubis lets down some of the walls they had set up to not get close to anyone anymore and jericho can finally fuckin relax and make fun of them for being a little gay boy. anubis swings at him and he catches their hand and kisses their knuckles

2. Accidental Hand Hold: When did you first hold hands with your F/O?

REMEMBER RUNNING ACROSS THE BARREN LAKE?? THERE YOU GO

for those not initiated; the group anubis was leading across a frozen lake had to jet over the ice and jericho grabbed anubis’ hand to make sure they didnt fall through the ice or slip and slide like an asshole

3. After-Action Patch-Up: How does your F/O react when they see you got hurt? How do they tend to your injury?

anubis will always say they dont need to be helped when jericho asks, and he sits back and waits for them to inevitably go “no wait no i need your help” and then it’s the scene from indiana jones where indy asks for kisses. change my mind

....no wait now i have to draw this--

4. Almost Kiss: What was your first kiss with your F/O like?

oh i. like to imagine that jericho grabs anubis and kisses them out of excitement and they’re thrown for a loop because like yeah they expected it but they didnt expect it. oh but he knew what he was doing and once he backs off, he cant stop watching their face between his hands to see how they react

5. Beautiful Dreamer: Who’s usually the first to fall asleep while the other stares and admires?

they both take turns but it’s normally jeric-- *just starts choking*

6. Bodyguard Crush: How does your F/O make you feel safe?

BIG HOT SCARY MONSTER BOY thats it thats all you get

7. Caught In The Rain: How does your F/O react if a sudden rainstorm interrupts your date with them?

pulls anubis out into the rain and they dance and revel in the feeling together. anubis might be a little mad once they realize that theyve probably ruined another nice set of clothes but that seems to happen a lot with je-- *chokes again*

8. Grow Old With Me: How long have you and your F/O been together?

maybe like almost a year in real time, but jericho mentions that it feels like a lifetime that he’s known anubis and theyre like “huh” and he’s like “what”

9. Laugh Of Love: What are some things your F/O does to make you laugh?

gets drunk. flubs a charisma check. trips over his own feet. he’s also the type to recite cheesy pick-up lines or poetry

10. Love Epiphany: When and how did you realize you loved your F/O? When and how did they realize they loved you?

jericho is stupid and fell in love with anubis shortly after meeting them and it took anubis several months to even THINK about admitting to their crush on him

11. Marry For Love: Are you and your F/O married? If so, how was the wedding like? If you aren’t, do you plan on getting married, and if so, how would you like it to be like?

neither of them plan on marrying but it’s for two different reasons; jericho doesn’t want to marry out of fear from his Mentors, and anubis is afraid of the long term commitment so they both focus on the here and now

12. Post-Kiss Catatonia: How did you and your F/O react to your first kiss together?

anubis: silently dying but staring at jericho like he’s got stars in his eyes

jericho: smiling down at anubis, amused and so sure that he feels a garden growing in his chest

13. Sickeningly Sweethearts: Do you and your F/O engage in PDA? If yes, how do the surrounding people react?

theyre the two people that when they do engage in PDA, they dont know if anyone else is around them and think theyre the only two that matter and everyone else at the market just wants to buy their vegetables but cant because these two are tucked in the corner doing little magic tricks while holding hands and staring at eachother

14. You Must Be Cold: How does your F/O keep you warm when it’s cold outside?

ALWAYS cuddling in the same coat or cloak. if anubis is not tucked right up next to jericho, are they even really alive

15. Zip Me Up: Does your F/O help you get dressed for the day? Do you help them?

jericho insists sometimes to help anubis do up their boots (since theyre thigh-highs), or “helps” them by holding their tail out of the way. both situations only prove to cause....distractions.

[thelighthousemp3]

Hey girrrl! First of all, I wanted to thank u for posting your fics. I've been struggling with anxiety and reading dianetti fics helps a lot! Second, can you write a fic settled after episode 18 of the second season, where Gina and Rosa go together to the Beyonce concert they won tickets for, and there they start to realize their feelings towards each other?

hi!! thank you for this prompt!! read on ao3 or below

Gina snatches the Beyonce tickets and waves them ecstatically in front of Rosa’s face, exclaiming something about how they’re her god-given right to own. Rosa simply smiles; she’s happy that the tickets landed with Gina. Gina’s the most enthusiastic person about Beyonce that Rosa has ever known.

To be fair, Rosa doesn’t know many Beyonce enthusiasts. She does her best to not get out much. But judging from Gina’s twitter feed (yes, she’s seen Gina’s twitter), Gina’s the most enthusiastic about Beyonce.

So yeah, Rosa Diaz has some thoughts on Gina Linetti and some on Beyonce. Who’s to judge her?? Everyone has quite a few thoughts on Gina Linetti (and Beyonce). Yeah, so Rosa’ll (never) admit that she’s listened to a few Beyonce songs upon Gina’s recommendation, even though Rosa never takes recommendations from anyone. But that doesn’t say anything.

Oh, it totally does say something. It screams that “Rosa Diaz is super gay for Gina Linetti!!”

It’s not something Rosa’s proud of. She could have decided to subtly crush on anyone, but her damn heart chose Gina freaking Linetti. The human form of the 100 emoji. The most dangerous person (next to Rosa) in the precinct. And Rosa knows that if Gina likes her back, they’d have the ability to take over the world (all while holding hands).

“Hey. Hey. Hey,” Gina says, waving her drink in front of Rosa’s face. “Snap out of it, Diaz. What’re you thinking about that’s more important than me, anyways?”

Rosa blinks a few times before taking a gulp of beer. “Hmm?” she mumbles, redirecting her focus to Gina’s face.

“Hey, sorry that you didn’t win the tickets. You know, because your boyfriend likes Beyonce so much.” Gina pulls a face of (fake) sympathy towards Rosa, who shrugs.

“No problem. They’re your god-given right,” she says. Truth be told, Rosa’s boyfriend doesn’t exist. When Captain Holt had pitched the riddle, Rosa had thought of Gina immediately upon seeing the Beyonce tickets. And that was why she had wanted to win the tickets so badly. She had wanted to take Gina to the concert, not some fake made-up boyfriend.

(Rosa had a whole story planned out. She would have invited Gina to the concert and made up some lie about her boyfriend cancelling. Then they’d go to the concert, and at the end, Rosa would tell Gina that she had dumped her boyfriend over text.)

“Rosa! Rosa!” Gina snaps her fingers in front of Rosa’s face, interrupting the detective’s thoughts once again. “Seriously, girl! Is there something really more important on your mind than me?”

Rosa rolls her eyes; she’s not going to admit that she was just thinking about Gina. “I mean, if the tickets mean so much to you… nah, I don’t like your boyfriend,” Gina says, pursing her lips.

Rosa squints at Gina. “Really? You haven’t even met him!” she says. The boyfriend may be fake, but Rosa’s still offended. She whisks a shot of tequila away from Jake and downs it.

“Well, I do know him well enough to know that he’s fake,” Gina mumbles.

Rosa’s eyes widen. “What? How do you know that, huh?” she demands, satisfied to see Gina grow a little bit smaller under intimidation.

“I just know, Rosie,” Gina says, squaring her shoulders with confidence. “I’m a better detective than all of you.”

“You don’t know that,” Rosa accuses.

Gina ignores this and just asks, “Why’d you want the Beyonce tickets, anyways?”

“If you’re such a good detective, then why don’t you just figure it out?” Rosa snaps.

Gina seems to ponder over this statement for a few moments. She takes a sip of her drink before looking Rosa in the eye. “Huh, Rosie, I don’t know,” she smiles. “But why don’t you take the extra ticket and come to the Beyonce concert with me on Sunday, hmmm?”

Rosa clenches her fists, bewildered. She blinks a few times. “Um, yeah, sure,” she stammers.

Gina grins widely. “That’s what I thought,” she says, snatching Rosa’s beer and taking a gulp. “See, I’m a really great detective. Don’t ask, okay, boo? I’ll pick you up on Sunday.”

“But―”

“I know where you live,” Gina says.

“Stalker,” Rosa mumbles under her breath. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Amy dancing. Rosa quickly swipes the drink that Hank the bartender passes towards Amy, hoping to save everyone from the embarrassment of four drink Amy.

“Not a stalker,” Gina corrects. “Just very informed about everyone’s lives.”

Rosa rolls her eyes and grabs her beer back from Gina. She puts the bottle to her lips and takes a long draught, finishing the bottle off. “Gotta go,” Rosa gasps as she slides off of the bar stool and heads towards the exit to grab a cab.

“M'kay!” Gina calls after her. “Wear something nice!”

Rosa tries to avoid thinking about the heat rising to her cheeks as she quickly gets into a taxi, intending to crash as soon as she gets home.

The next day goes by uneventfully. Rosa stays boarded up in her apartment, ignoring seventeen memes from Jake, fifty-six texts from Charles, one email from Amy, and (unfortunately) nothing from Gina. She idly flips through the channels on the TV, sighing every so often and checking her phone to see if Gina’s texted her anything.

Nothing.

Rosa pulls her laptop closer and opens Spotify. She quickly logs in with Gina’s password (Gina has premium, okay? No ads. Don’t judge Rosa for having access to Gina’s Spotify) and within a few minutes, Beyonce’s newest album is blaring through Rosa’s apartment.

She doesn’t know when exactly she falls asleep, but she wakes up a few hours later with her phone blown up with notifications. Ten new memes from Jake, twenty-seven new texts from Jake, one new email from Amy, and… three new texts from Gina Linetti. Rosa ignores everything else on her phone and quickly opens the texts from Gina.

Gina: bitch stop using my spotify

Gina: i know ur listening to beyonce and while its a very sweet gesture i’d like to use my spotify now

Gina: u can listen to beyonce at the concert with me tomorrow

Rosa rolls her eyes and presses the home button on her phone, leaving Gina’s texts on read. She logs out of Gina’s Spotify and pushes her laptop away.

The day seems to pass incredibly slowly. Rosa can’t wait for the sky to go black so that she can collapse in bed after a day of absolutely no productivity.

Sleep comes to her sooner than she had expected. Shortly after sunset, Rosa falls asleep on her couch, resulting in several uncomfortable positions and stiff muscles. Oh, and also waking up at the literal crack of dawn the next day.

She still has many hours before Gina’s supposed to come and pick her up. Rosa decides to go for a ride on her motorcycle, hoping that it’ll take her mind off of Gina Linetti.

For a few hours, it seems to work. It’s just Rosa, the road, her bike, and the wind.

And then she decides to grab a coffee. She runs into Charles, and the first thing that he says is, “heard you’re going to the Beyonce concert with Gina!”

Rosa squints her eyes at him. “How’d you know that?” she asks.

Charles puffs his chest out. “I’m a detective, of course,” he says, taking a sip of coffee. Rosa stares him down for a few seconds before he deflates. “Okay, okay! Gina told Jake and Jake told five-drink Amy and five-drink Amy told me! And I may have accidentally slipped it into the Boyle weekly newsletter! Sorry, Rosa, but you and Gina would just be so cute together!”

Rosa sighs heavily. She grabs her coffee from the counter and drops a few crumpled bills in its place, swiftly turning around and heading out of the coffee place.

As soon as Rosa gets home, she decides to text Gina.

Rosa: u told jake we were going to the concert?? and he told amy who told charles who told everyone??

Gina: chill rosie

Gina: not my fault charles is a blabbermouth

Rosa: but u told jake?? who told amy who told charles??

Gina: i can tell jake bc he’s my best friend

Gina: can’t blame him for having a big crush on that amy girl he’ll tell her anything

Gina: and when that girl gets drunk she can literally do anything

Gina: can’t wait for the concert tho

Rosa: it’s not a date!! why is everyone saying it’s a date???

Gina: literally did not say that in any of my texts but okay

Rosa: no!! charles thinks it’s a date!!! so now everyone does!!!!!!!

Gina: ur using way too many exclamation points n it’s scaring me

Gina: if u don’t want it to be a date then it doesn’t have to be

Rosa: oh my god all i wanna do is see beyonce

Gina: yeah with me i know

Rosa: no!!!! who said that!!!! stop listening to charles!!!!

Gina: okay okay rosa chill okay?? ur really scaring me with the exclamation points

Gina: don’t murder anyone okay

Rosa: fine whatever but i’m THIS close

Gina: so ur still coming to the concert with me tho right

Rosa: fine

Rosa’s phone dings with a new notification. With irritation, Rosa reads it to see a new email from Amy. And then without knowing why, Rosa taps on it and opens Amy’s email.

And then she’s hurling a knife at the wall because Amy’s forwarded her an article that Charles has written on Rosa and Gina’s relationship. There is a whole paragraph about “unseen sexual tension” and then another on “what their babies would look like.” The email is signed off with a long apology from Amy.

Evening doesn’t come soon enough. Rosa’s already slightly tipsy by the time Gina comes to pick her up.

“This is my nice leather jacket,” Rosa mumbles as she opens the door, remembering Gina’s comment about wearing something nice.

“Are you drunk?”

“Did you read Charles’s article?”

“I don’t read those. I’m too dignified.”

Rosa lets out a strangling noise from her throat. “Yeah? Well, so am I, but that article is a ton of bullshit! Why is everyone all up in our business?”

“Oh, Rosie.” Gina pats Rosa’s arm a few times. “Drink this.” She thrusts a water bottle into Rosa’s hand. “You gotta sober up, girl! Or else you won’t remember the truly thrilling experience of going to a Beyonce concert with Gina freaking Linetti!”

Rosa chugs down about a fourth of the water bottle before looking hesitantly at Gina. “Why am I doing this?” she mumbles.

“Seeing Beyonce? Because it’s an experience, Rosa. And it’s the best thing ever, okay? You can’t back out now, so let’s go!” And with that, Gina tugs Rosa out of the apartment.

The car ride goes by quickly. Rosa ends up finishing the rest of the water, and by the time they get to the concert, she can feel her senses coming back to her.

Gina drags her through the line at the entrance, flashing the concert tickets at the security guard. “I’m also a celebrity, so I get in anyways,” she preens.

“That’s not true,” Rosa mutters under her breath. She tries not to think about Gina’s fingers digging into her wrist as they walk into the filled concert venue.

Somehow, Gina manages to get them to the front (It has a lot to do with Rosa’s intimidating aura, but Gina will claim that it’s because of her celebrity status).

And then Beyonce Knowles gets on stage and everyone goes completely wild. Maybe it’s the blinding lights or the wind that rushes through the room from the big fans or because of the alcohol still in her system, but Rosa’s feeling the ecstasy in the place as well.

Beyonce’s singing some song that Rosa knows she’s definitely heard but Rosa’s attention isn’t fully on Beyonce. Her gaze is fixed to Gina Linetti, the other popstar in the room. And she’s watching how happy Gina looks when her own lips turn upwards and a smile blossoms to her face.

Gina’s eyes dart to Rosa for a moment before returning to Beyonce. And then she notices that Rosa’s not watching Beyonce, and she turns back to Rosa. “What are you doing!” Gina says loudly. “You should be watching Beyonce!”

“Mhmm,” Rosa mumbles under the music. She halfheartedly looks to the stage. When Rosa’s sure that Gina’s attention is transfixed to Beyonce, Rosa sneaks a look at Gina again. Gina’s mouthing the words to Beyonce’s song now.

And then someone pushes next to Gina and Gina momentarily loses her balance, stumbling right into Rosa’s arms. Rosa’s eyes widen in response as Gina looks up at her, breathless. “Good catch, Rosie,” Gina says and returns her gaze to Beyonce.

But Rosa’s eyes never leave Gina. Not when she stops Gina from attempting to join Beyonce on stage and not when Beyonce dives into the crowd and everything seems to go loud and fluorescent. Not until the very end of the concert, when she loses Gina in the crowd for a minute when Gina scurries after Beyonce to get a selfie.

And then she can’t find Gina, even though people are making way for Rosa (because she’s scary, you know) and she’s calling Gina’s name in desperation.

Rosa finally gives up and somehow heads out of the venue, towards where Gina’s car is parked. She leans on the hood for a minute before her legs get tired and she jumps up to sit on the hood of the car.

“Rosa!”

She looks up to the sound of her name being called and sees Gina trying to run/limp towards the car with a single heel in her hand. Rosa slides off of the hood of the car and rushes over to help Gina to the car.

Instead of getting in the car, Gina sits on top of the hood and pats the empty area next to her. “Sit,” she says, so Rosa joins her. Gina starts unstrapping her other shoe, so Rosa idly stares out to the night.

“How was the concert?” Gina asks a beat later. Both of her shoes dangle from one hand.

“Huh? Yeah, it was good,” Rosa says.

Gina frowns. “You’re a liar,” she decides.

Rosa stares at Gina. “What?” she asks with disbelief in her voice. “It was Beyonce. Of course it was good.”

“It was Beyonce! It was fucking fantastic! Amazing! Unbelievable! Not just good,” Gina says. “And you weren’t even watching half the time. Yeah, Diaz. When you stare at me and think I don’t notice, I do notice. Ugh, wait till we go see Rihanna.”

“I don’t wanna make this a whole thing,” Rosa says hurriedly, preparing to get off of the car. Gina’s arm flies out in front of Rosa’s chest, abruptly stopping her.

“You don’t, but I do.”

Rosa looks at Gina with a bewildered expression on her face. “What?” she asks carefully.

“C'mon, Rosa! We both know that if we joined forces, we could take over the world! While holding hands and locking lips!” Gina says, rolling her eyes at Rosa’s expression.

“What?”

“You are an actual idiot. I thought you were a detective. Yet, here I, Gina Linetti, sit, trying to explain the most basic concept to an allegedly smart detective,” Gina sighs. “You like me. I like you. Wanna make out?”

“What about everyone at the precinct―”

“Blackmail files? Uh, duh! And my naturally beautiful and intimidating aura combined with your terrifying presence is sure to make them all shut up,” Gina reasons. “What do you say, Rosie?”

“I don’t know? Kiss me?” Rosa says.

So Gina does, and it turns out to be a great night.

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 2x17 Passion

aka the Whedon character death phenomenon

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and point out / hyperfocus on one detail in it in 10-3k words. Or maybe go through each and every random scene I choose. Rules are fake.

And today I believe is a great opportunity to discuss a bit how television deaths and our attitude towards them changed in the last two decades. Let’s go.

It’s been fascinating watching the pop culture scene change since Buffy aired, and realizing that there are so many fans now who don’t have the context of what the hot takes and popular opinions were of the time.

Case in point, it might be hard to believe for some that there was a time when character deaths weren’t regarded as cheap gimmicks, manufactured to drum up drama on TV shows. (Even if maybe they were cheap gimmicks to drum up drama.)

But at the dawn of serialized television, there really wasn’t that much precedence for beloved characters dying in the first place, so we all gleefully accepted this whole new experience of emotional manipulation. And it quickly became a signature move for Whedon himself, which this old meme relic from below can attest to.

Now, here’s the thing - I don’t believe that character deaths are an evil tool in and of themselves. However, as serialized television gained more and more ground, and writers started using the same tricks to get their audiences to feel something, this device has definitely lost a lot of its impact.

It also doesn’t really help that there’s a pattern and type to the characters that could potentially die, and once you consume enough popculture, it’s easy to pinpoint them early on. At the time Buffy aired though, no one expected prominent characters to die... like, at all. But once the pattern emerged, with Whedon especially, it shortly became predictable and somewhat dull.

Once you watch a few of his shows, you notice how the Whedon characters that die* (*permanent deaths, that is) are usually universally well-liked... but not necessarily in the main focus of the story. They’re also generally more innocent than our flawed heroes, which makes their end all the more tragic, both for the audience and the remaining characters.

...And they are much more likely to be the love interest of another main character, because no one lives happily ever after. Especially in the Buffyverse.

This sort of design (not just with Whedon, but in all media) also meant that supporting characters, more importantly, characters who the writers had less interest in came from a disadvantage. And that often meant women and minorities - which we’re about to get to.

(And then Game of Thrones happened, and pop culture changed again, where suddenly, ‘anyone could die’... And then that’s become a gimmick too.)

I already said that I don’t see character deaths as evil though. Sometimes I watch TV because I want to be emotionally manipulated, damn it, and there’s a unique kind of catharsis that comes from a well-executed character death. But there are two questions that I think any writer should ask themselves and think about thoroughly before touching this device, especially in today’s television.

1. What does this death add to the story and the characters? - What impact does it make both in the short and long term? Am I willing to follow through on those repercussions?

2. What is the social impact of this death? - Have I thought about what impact this death will have on my audience? What am i communicating by killing off this specific character in this specific way?

It’s important to note too that there’s no real connection between these two questions. There are Whedon deaths that I immensely appreciate for how they execute point 1, but find inexcusable for what they mean in regards to point 2, and vice versa.

Opinions on character deaths also tend to be highly subjective, and while there’s not necessarily a connection between the two points mentioned, if someone feels a certain way about one, that will also likely affect what they think of the other.

Speaking of Jenny’s death in those terms, I do believe that this is a very well-executed death storywise. The show never quite forgets the impact this made on the characters, especially on Buffy, Giles and Angel, and it represents a major milestone in the series.

This is the moment where Buffy and the audience first has to truly come to terms with the severity of Angel’s actions. Sure, he killed before, but those were side characters. Neither us nor the Scoobies cared about them, and they were all ready to take him back if ever got de-souled (well... almost all of them).

But killing Jenny... there’s no coming back from that.

Seeing Buffy come to that realization, and finally gaining the determination to do what’s necessary if she’d ever have the chance... That has impact.

But then there’s point 2. For better or worse, the show made Jenny a Romani character, which... I already touched upon, but safe to say, that giving her all that backstory, but then not really developing her further, and then abruptly  fridging her... That’s not a good look.

Like, sure, it’s not the most memorable offender of that point in the show’s history. But it’s still not a great look.

There are also million tiny things to talk about, like Xander being completely tone deaf with his ‘I hated Angel before all of you did and I told you so’ rant... But it’s also the first time in a long time that I finally remembered what I promised after 1x02 about trying to consider how Xander had to kill his friend, and what impact that would have on how he saw vampires. And gotta say, it does help.

(Even if the show never actually remembers that, and canonically Xander’s initial hatred for Angel is like 99% jealousy.)

I also liked the scene between Buffy and her mom. Like, I don’t really appreciate the idea of teen girls being scolded for having sex with their older boyfriends, who then turns into an evil stalker... But then at the end of the scene, Joyce just sits next to Buffy and has one of those sincere ‘I have no idea what I’m doing I just hope you know I love you’ moments, and all is well with the world.

I’m sure she’ll be fine and no one else in Buffy’s life will ever die.

[orbemnews]

He’s a Dogecoin Millionaire. And He’s Not Selling. Last February, when Glauber Contessoto decided to invest his life savings in Dogecoin, his friends had concerns. “They were all like, you’re crazy,” he said. “It’s a joke coin. It’s a meme. It’s going to crash.” Their skepticism was warranted. After all, Dogecoin is a joke — a digital currency started in 2013 by a pair of programmers who decided to spoof the cryptocurrency craze by creating their own virtual money based on a meme about Doge, a talking Shiba Inu puppy. And investing money in obscure cryptocurrencies has, historically, been akin to tossing it onto a bonfire. But Mr. Contessoto, 33, who works at a Los Angeles hip-hop media company, is no ordinary buy-and-hold investor. He is among the many thrill-seeking amateurs who have leapt headfirst into the markets in recent months, using stock-trading apps like Robinhood to chase outsize gains on risky, speculative bets. In February, after reading a Reddit thread about Dogecoin’s potential, Mr. Contessoto decided to go all in. He maxed out his credit cards, borrowed money using Robinhood’s margin trading feature and spent everything he had on the digital currency — investing about $250,000 in all. Then, he watched his phone obsessively as Dogecoin became an internet phenomenon whose value eclipsed that of blue-chip companies like Twitter and General Motors. The value of his Dogecoin holdings today? Roughly $2 million. On the surface, Mr. Contessoto — who dropped out of college and has no formal financial training — seems no different from a lucky gambler who walks into a casino, bets all his chips on a single roulette spin and walks out a millionaire. But he is also emblematic of a new kind of hyper-online investor who is winning by applying the skills of the digital attention economy — sharing memes, cultivating buzz, producing endless streams of content for social media — to the financial markets. These investors, mostly young men, don’t behave rationally in the old-fashioned, Homo economicus sense. They pick investments not based on their underlying fundamentals or the estimates of Wall Street analysts, but on looser criteria, such as how funny they are, how futuristic they seem or how many celebrities are tweeting about them. Their philosophy is that in today’s media-saturated world, attention is the most valuable commodity of all, and that anything that is attracting a great deal of it must be worth something. “Memes are the language of the millennials,” Mr. Contessoto said. “Now we’re going to have a meme matched with a currency.” Mr. Contessoto, an affable, bearded hip-hop fan who goes by the nickname Jaysn Prolifiq, is a first-generation immigrant whose parents came to the United States from Brazil when he was 6. As a child in suburban Maryland, he saw his family struggling with money, and he vowed to become rich. He discovered a love of hip-hop music as a teenager, and after school, he moved to Los Angeles, where he took a job making $36,000 a year as an entry-level video editor while trying to book gigs for an up-and-coming rapper he knew. His dream was to save up enough money to buy a house — one where he and his hip-hop friends could live while making music together. But that kind of cash was elusive, and he spent several years crashing on couches while trying to save enough for a down payment. In 2019, he started buying stocks on Robinhood, the commission-free trading app. He stuck to big, well-known companies like Tesla and Uber, and when those trades made money, he bought more. And in January 2021, he watched in fascination as a group of traders on Reddit successfully boosted the stock price of GameStop, squeezing the hedge funds that had bet against the video game retailer and making millions for themselves in the process. (He tried to get in on the GameStop trade but he was too late, and he ended up losing most of his stake.) Shortly after the GameStop saga, Mr. Contessoto was browsing Reddit when he saw a post about Dogecoin. He’d heard of the currency before. (Elon Musk, who is to Dogecoin fans roughly what Pope Francis is to Catholics, had called it the “people’s crypto.”) But as he did more research, he became convinced that Dogecoin’s jokey, approachable image might make it the next GameStop. “Dogecoin has the best branding of all cryptocurrency,” he said. “If you put in front of me all the symbols of Ethereum, Bitcoin, Litecoin — everything just looks super high tech and futuristic. And Dogecoin just looks like: Hey, guys, what’s up?” He imagines that newbies investing in cryptocurrency for the first time might gravitate toward something fun and recognizable, and that Dogecoin might eventually become a kind of on-ramp to the larger world of virtual money. “I feel like eventually we’re all going to be buying and selling things with memes, and Dogecoin is going to lead the way,” he said. Strange as his investment thesis might seem, it’s hard to argue with the results. Even after a recent crash following Mr. Musk’s appearance on “Saturday Night Live” (in which he joked about Dogecoin being a “hustle”), Dogecoin remains a very lucrative trade. A dollar invested in Dogecoin on Jan. 1 would be worth $203 today — much more than a comparable investment in Bitcoin, Ethereum or any stock in the S&P 500. Dogecoin’s stratospheric rise has also fueled plenty of grumbling among cryptocurrency buffs, who see it as a tacky sideshow that overshadows more serious uses of cryptocurrency. One of Dogecoin’s original creators has disavowed the coin, and even Mr. Musk has warned investors not to over-speculate in cryptocurrency. (Mr. Musk recently sent the crypto markets into upheaval again, after he announced that Tesla would no longer accept Bitcoin.) What explains Dogecoin’s durability, then? There’s no doubt that Dogecoin mania, like GameStop mania before it, is at least partly attributable to some combination of pandemic-era boredom and the eternal appeal of get-rich-quick schemes. But there may be more structural forces at work. Over the past few years, soaring housing costs, record student loan debt and historically low interest rates have made it harder for some young people to imagine achieving financial stability by slowly working their way up the career ladder and saving money paycheck by paycheck, the way their parents did. Instead of ladders, these people are looking for trampolines — risky, volatile investments that could either result in a life-changing windfall or send them right back to where they started. Mr. Contessoto is a prime case study. He makes $60,000 a year at his job now — a decent living, but nowhere near enough to afford a home in Los Angeles, where the median home costs nearly $1 million. He drives a beat-up Toyota, and spent years living frugally. But in his 30s, still with no house to his name, he decided to go looking for something that could change his fortunes overnight, and ended up at Dogecoin’s door. When Mr. Contessoto recalls the way he used to pursue wealth — working hard, cutting back on expenses, saving some money from every paycheck — he sees evidence of a system that is rigged against regular people. “I feel like those experts on TV, the older generation of old money and wealth, they try to scare people into staying safe so nobody gets too rich,” he told me. His new motto, he said, is “scared money don’t make money.” Many things about Mr. Contessoto’s investing philosophy would turn a traditional financial adviser’s stomach. But wildest of all is that despite his spectacular gains, he has not yet cashed out his Dogecoin millions. He thinks the currency’s price will continue to rise, and he doesn’t want to miss out on future profits by selling too soon. (He does plan to sell 10 percent of his stake next year, once his earnings will be classified as long-term capital gains and taxed at a lower rate.) Instead, he is branding himself as a Dogecoin expert, adopting nicknames like “the Dogefather” and “Slumdoge Millionaire” and making YouTube videos promoting Dogecoin to others. “I’m bullish as they come in the Dogecoin community,” he said. “If this exceeded my expectations of Dogecoin, and I only hit it in two months, imagine where it’ll be in a year.” Of course, as with any volatile investment, there is a real chance that Mr. Contessoto’s Dogecoin holdings could lose most or all of their value, and that his dream of homeownership could again be out of reach. Already, the price of Dogecoin has fallen nearly 50 percent from its all-time high, shaving hundreds of thousands of dollars off Mr. Contessoto’s portfolio. But gamblers rarely leave the table the first time they lose, and Mr. Contessoto’s commitment to “HODLing” — an acronym favored by cryptocurrency traders that stands for “hold on for dear life” — is buoying him through the recent market turbulence. Earlier this week, he posted a screenshot of his cryptocurrency trading app, showing that he’d bought more. And on Thursday, when the value of his Dogecoin holdings fell to $1.5 million, roughly half what it was at the peak, he posted another screenshot of his account on Reddit. “If I can hodl, you can HODL!” the caption read. Source link Orbem News #Dogecoin #hes #Millionaire #Selling

[crazy-grrrl-on-the-computer]

I saw this Flight Rising meme by @curlicuecal and thought it looked fun, so I decided to fill it out~ I ended up making my own post instead of filling it out in a reblog because it felt easier for me to keep track of it, so hopefully that isn’t a problem. ;;v;;

0. Your FR name

WolfieGrrrl

1. Your progenitor

Sylph - My darling adorable custom clan leader~ She is a mess, but I love her so much. >v< I’ve talked about her on my blog before because I have a lot of feelings.

2. Your favorite recent purchase/birth

Radioactive bab - I always wanted a radioactive dragon, but I just never went into the Auction House to search for one myself, mostly because I knew I would be stuck there forever unable to make a choice because I love ALL THE DRAGONS. But then my friend Nardaviel sent this boy my way and he is better than I ever could have hoped for~ <3

Honorable mention goes to this sweet pastel floof

who will eventually become a sweet pastel eyeburner

because I FELL IN LOVE AT FIRST SCRY! He is only an honorable mention because he technically doesn’t count... on account of the fact that I picked him up for free from this gen1 thread because I have zero impulse control when it comes to pretty dragons, but I just wanted to show him off because I love him. ;;3;; <3

3. An unexpected fave

I... genuinely have no idea who to select for this. I don’t have any dragons that I never expected to love. I love all dragons instantly because all dragons are good dragons asdhklf I have never seen a dragon I didn’t love with all my heart. But aaaaaaaaaaaaah, how about a dragon I hatched and was surprised by how much I fell in love with their scry?

Logi - I just finished geneing this forest fire boy and I love him so much! Admittedly, his colors weren’t the most impressive compared to the gorgeous lemon girl I hatched before him, but I plopped him into the Scrying Workshop and fell for him because he is a beautiful wildfire prince and I’m gonna have to come up with some good lore to do him justice~ <3

Also, I feel like I should give an honorable mention to this stormy wind bug

because I was in a similar situation with him until I landed on this scry and I tried so hard not to fall in love with Wasp, but he looks so good and my poor dragon wallet is crying, but he’s worth it. ;;w;; It will probably take a year for me to gather enough gems to gene him fully... and I don’t care because I am determined to make this baby even more beautiful than he already is!

4. A fave you’ve had for a long time

Rosette - Rosette is best dragon - #1 best pastel flower mom and grandma whom I have also rambled about here before  - and I have had her since my first day oh Flight Rising because my friend Solar, who told me about the open registration period and got me into the game, sent her (and a few others) as a welcome gift! Rosette is everyone’s favorite and, honestly, I am so glad because she deserves it~ <3

5. A fave you bred for/gened for/spent a long time trying to find

Epinard - I was breeding her parents and, when I was looking through their offspring preview, I saw this one beautiful petal baby and instantly knew I wanted that one... and then En and Atsushi only produced one egg and I hoped with all my might that I’d get that gene/color combo AND that the hatchling would be female. AND HALLELUJAH RNGESUS GRANTED MY PRAYERS I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE LUCKY TO HAVE HATCHED THE PERFECT CHILD. I will never be able to do better than her and I feel so proud! She is the dream baby~ >w<

6. Fave apparel/skin/dragon combo

Aurum - When she and her brother hatched, I joked that they looked like baby cows, which I thought was cute but apparently others thought was a declaration of how unbeautiful they were. XD Then, I happened across the Dalmation accent and previewed it on baby Aurum here and HOLY MOLY SHE IS SO GORGEOUS, so I spent a huge chunk of treasure to grab it off the Auction House for her. I really love how it looks with this elegant rose thorn princess ensemble (which is the perfect combination of her parents’ aesthetic, honestly)~ She is truly a golden child and still my precious baby moo-cow! >v<

Solat - My warrior girl needed a fitting look and eventually I settled on this one. I picked out this accent for her first shortly after I got her because I thought it looked cool with her aesthetic, and then the rest of her apparel and scars came later to give her a more hardened edge. I think she looks suitably badass, so I may keep her this way for a long while unless I come across another “perfect touch” to her outfit.

Caelus - This is another dragon Nardaviel let me take home to my lair (along with Carmenta below) and I love him very dearly, though I had trouble with his apparel for the longest time. I originally had a different accent on him that I really liked because it matched his tertiary gene/color so beautifully. But then I got my hands on the coat and knew he needed it for his look because it gave him exactly the vibe I was trying to express with his other meager apparel items... and when I realized I had this Forgotten Child skin, I previewed it on him out of curiosity and was blown away by how great it looked, although most of the design gets covered up by his coat. *sobs*

Carmenta - I will mention her again later, but I just REALLY love this Eclipse skin on her so much! Maybe I’m more of a sucker for pearly purple and red than I initially expected to be, but here I am asdhklf and I regret nothing because LOOK AT HER. I am amazed by how gorgeous the skin looks with the Pearly Chemistry set, but they match the highlights so well~ Her apparel is sparse, but it really works for her, especially where the skin doesn’t cover and I find it extremely aesthetically pleasing.

7. Fave “lore”

Akihiko and Haruhiko - I have a certain attachment to all of the lore I write for my babies, but these two are forever going to be at the top of the list of favorites for me (right there with their adoptive parents/family) because of how many feels they give me every time I think about them. ;;w;; <3

8. Ugliest dragon you’ve owned/seen/bred (can also be a fave)

Vesta, Sulfur, Ignit - I’ve been told they're “ugly” and it’s true they didn’t turn out the way I had hoped, but I think they’re cuties! I’m thinking of getting them some accents to pretty them up a bit more~ I’m eyeballing a Glitterbelly accent for Sulfur because it would look so gorgeous on her and give her more of a golden look I had been hoping for! And I’m thinking Black Iron Creeper would look badass on one of the boys, but... one thing at a time. I already have so many projects. ^^’

9. A fave dragon that made you change your mind about a gene/color/etc

Carmenta - Once again just like I said! This time, it’s because she changed my mind about Crackle, so I removed her skin and apparel to show that more clearly. It’s not that I particularly hated the gene before either. I just thought it looked really silly and Too Much, but holy heck is it gorgeous with certain color combos and she really works it! It’s rather fitting that it was Nardaviel who gifted me this beauty because we had actually been talking about Crackle very shortly before she offered to let me grab some dragons from her lair... and I was instantly drawn to this crimson goddess.

10. Dream dragon, something you’re breeding/shopping for, or something else on your wishlist!

I have a mighty need for this Radioactive Toxic punk boy in my life! ;;v;; I can’t do breeding projects for multiple reasons (mostly lack of time and patience), so I’m just hoping to hunt down a male Imp with these colors - Orca/Radioactive/Obsidian - to gene up later. For now, I just have my thread open in the Find A Dragon forum and I’m patrolling the Auction House, but if I don’t get a hit at some point, I’ll just send in an application to a dream dragon thread I discovered and hope they can help me. ^^

[lbat1901]

2019 Review

I’ve never posted an end year review on Tumblr. I only post on either Facebook and DA, buuuuut it’s time for a change.

Also I couldn’t decide whether or not to separate it into two parts. I decided to say f**k it and post the whole thing.

Anyway, welcome to the first ever year end review where I recap 2019. Just a side note, I am doing this so you won’t have to. Also there a lot of ranting in this.

Quick thing to know is that I can become very brutal when comes to ranting. Trust me they’re not pretty. Oh and I tend write these things like at either towards the end of June and mid July about the stuff that just happened before coming back to it in late October and early November while adding even more information. That’s how things work.

Anyway with that out of the way, I present to you, Lbat1901’s review of 2019 broadcasted worldwide on this day of December 31st (or either the 1st of January and/or December 30th depending on your timezone).

2018 was a good year despite a few thing here and there. Now 2019 was a tad bit better but we lost the OG actor of Chewbacca from Star Wars. Well this isn’t a bad thing, there’s another actor to play the part.

If deaths weren’t always there to make a year bad, then it would be a person’s own downfall. I’m talking about the downfall of the one and only ProJared. Oh god….when I heard the news that he and his wife were filing for a divorce, it wasn’t good at all. Well it was bad at first, but it got worse when his ex-wife stated that he cheated on her. That took me by surprise, but I was all like: “Ah well. Things can’t get any worse than that, right?”. Unfortunately things did got much much worse.

ProJared was reported for doing some sexual activity on Tumblr. He actually DMed a minor and said some explicit stuff to them. Oh boy….that was a shocker. Due to this, everyone and his fans couldn’t find it in their hearts to forgive him. By the way ProJared at the time reached the milestone of 1,000,000 subscribers. That…later went down. A couple of months later, ProJared posted an apology on Twitter which didn’t make any sense. In reality doing that kind of stuff like that could land you in some legal troubles and you won’t be able to recover from it.

It really sucks and it hurts me a lot when it should be considered that ProJared is one of my favorite gaming channels on YouTube and one of my inspirations for all that sweet comedy gold. His videos are so good along his random commentary and jokes. Plus him working together with PeanutButterGamer, another YouTuber that I like, gave out some great positive vibes of collaboration. It’s going to take me a very long time to get over this and find it in my heart to accept his apology, but for now, I’m taking a break from ProJared.

…Aye I’m just kidding! It turns out that in late August, he uploaded a video explaining what really happened which means I can forgive him. I rate ProJared’s explanation video: “a fixed reputation out of 10.”

Another thing that happened was the suicide of another well known YouTuber that I like, that goes by the name of Etika. You see Etika is known for his reaction video especially when it comes to stuff like Nintendo such as Smash Bros. His DLC reveal reactions were priceless and hilarious. At the time, I never knew he had mental issues since it wasn’t clear onto why he always acts up giving off this destructive behavior. I’ve always believed that he did this for to be funny, but now I look back at it, his reactions were a bit too much. Shockingly before his death, he was went to some mental place and even came out from suffering from depression.

Soon afterwards, his family and his fans all reached out to him, but Etika pushed them all to the side. After that, he released a video saying how sorry his was shortly before he took his own life out. When I first heard about it from IGN, I didn’t believe it. But after awhile it turned out to be true. Etika really did killed himself.

I’ll say this once: killing yourself isn’t an option. Sure it maybe a solution to end your problems but in reality it makes everyone around you fall in deep despair. This is coming from a person who had depression in the past along with some forms of PTSD and schizophrenia. If you’re suffering from depression don’t turn down help. There’s always a light at the end of tunnel waiting for you to go towards it. Don’t stop waking to it. And Etika if you’re reading this, from wherever you might be, I hope you’re doing better than you were before since your now considered to be free from your troubles. All of us are going to see you again. Even though I haven’t meant you in person, you’re still a cool guy to me. Stay awesome.

Okay enough of the heavy feels. You all know what’s coming up next. It’s the part where I rant about the things that have happened this year. And hey, new people, you get to have a front row seat for this. The ranting part always gets my reviews a whole lotta views, making them somewhat popular. Here we go!

Alright…I’ll get this part out the way. Is it just me or was it that January 2019 was a very painful month to get through? No? If you’re living in a part where it’s warm everyday for the full entire year, good for you. You don’t have to suffer. But….can we like trade places? I want 90 degree weather all year long. Why you such lucky things. January, according to parts of the world that snow, is considered to be one of the slowest yet worst months of the year. Plus it doesn’t help that fact that it’s still winter and it’s the first month. I have always believed that January is a very slow month, but January 2019….oh my lord, it was brutally slow. Also January is also known to be the month of severe depression since nobody can hold onto their New Year resolution.

January 2019 felt like a drag. Plus I was still lingering to some of my depression after trying to recover from it after November 2018. It was a really bad time for me even though November is usually fast, but it felt I was being stabbed repeatedly. January 2019 was no different. Oh and don’t come to me stating that February comes after January and that it’s a fast month. That is true, but 2019 had to drug up February with depression pills making that a month of total despair. At least once it hit March 2019 things got better and much smoother.

January and February 2019, umm…what the f**k happened to you? January, I don’t expect anything magical about you, but February 2019, my god, you were supposed to be a better month. You had one job and failed at it that’s for sure.

This year’s review would like to take the attention and put it on Venezuela for once. During the first half of the year, many countries around the world has talked about the crisis in Venezuela. Venezuela is known to be a country in South America to have an oil industry which helps the country be successful. The current president is Nicolás Maduro and let’s be honest here, he’s a horrible person. Why? It’s because all of the things that he has done were quite questionable and he has said some controversial things mostly being related to storages. So far there has been several riots, people getting killed in some of those riots, nobody can get any food or medication due to power outages. It continues to get worse as time goes by. Most Venezuelans fled the country because it becoming a sh*thole and I don’t blame them. I would be fleeing from the country too if I can’t get anything. As I said before, countries around the world have been talking about the issues happening in Venezuela. There are some countries that support Maduro while other countries such as the US supports Juan Guaidó who vows to oppose Maduro. This kinda triggers the 2019 presidential crisis in Venezuela; however Guaidó has been given support by 54 countries as of June 2019. Although there is some competition, nobody should be getting in the way since this is Venezuela’s fight and it’s basically their freedom of speech. They must fight the powers that be.

What’s coming up next is something that I refuse to ignore. Article 13 getting passed. You heard that right folks, they did it. They actually f**king did it. In March 2019, the EU were having a debation on whenever or not to pass Article 13. If you don’t know, the EU created a whole bunch of rules for each country in Europe to follow. Some are good and some are just plain stupid. Article 13 is kinda like Europe’s version of Net Neutrality…only if it were on steroids. Article 13 has some tight restrictions but the most controversial thing to come from is that it kills off anything that has to do with copyright. Anything like music, video games, and of course memes won’t exist and guess what? Those motherf**kers in the EU actually said “f**k it!” and let the thing pass and all thanks to this lovely son of a b*ch, Axel Voss

*sighs heavily*

Axel Voss…why? Why? Just why? Why would you say yes? Months before the voting in March, you were supposed to be hope. I trusted your word. I thought you knew what to say, but you had to say the complete opposite. And do you want to know what my reaction is? Do you really want to see it? Oh I’ll give it you you. Here is goes. All I have to say is….wow, you really f**ked everything up big time and here’s my message towards you all:

F**k the EU! F**k Article 13! F**k everyone who allowed to let this thing get approved and have it take effect two years later! And finally, f**k you Axel Voss! F**k you all! I hope all you will burn in hell for this.

Now it’s time for the star of the show and the main topic I talk about every year, Trump.

Oh my where I do even begin? 2019 was the year on how low Trump can go as a president and as a person. Well he already is low.

I know that there’s a huge like and dislike ratio with this man. If you support Trump and would like to dismantle any argument that I make that is totally against everything he says and does, then that’s great! Now do me favor: GO F**K YOURSELF!!!

I had enough of this man and I am sick of this nonsense! Hell I’ve been sick of it already. He’s done way too much and he’s been tripping all over the place as well.

Why are there still people out there supporting this guy? Like seriously, what is wrong with you people?

I have a feeling that you’re going to say this: “What makes him bad to you? He basically done a lot in the past three years. He lowered my taxes so I won’t have to pay that much”.

Um excuse me? Does it look I f**king care if you don’t have to pay that much for taxes? Abso-f**king-lutely not. I don’t give a sh*t if you’re paying less in taxes along with telling me that it’s raining tacos. Must I remind you that this man ordered a government shutdown for the first part of the year which, bear in mind, lasted 30 days all because he wanted a wall to be built between the Mexican and American borders? Let’s not forget that the president of Mexico already said no to paying that wall.

So yeah, Trump was throwing a tantrum over it. Why not you just build a wall of Legos? It’s cheaper.

The more I think about this, the more I pay attention to the audience in Trump’s rallies. What do I see, I hear you ask? Nothing but basic white people and that’s exactly my point. In most of Trump’s rallies, you don’t see any black, Hispanic, Asian, or Somalian people in the stands. That’s because would they support Trump? All you see is just white people and the majority of them have blonde hair and blue eyes.

They’re not just any white people, they are the ones with the guns, Trump hats, the pick up truck, and the Confederate flag. They are also known as those die hard rednecks that love to spread hatred and racism. I do have to admit that I love rednecks with their Southern accents and charm (expect for the racism), but not the rednecks that love an orangutan that cares about himself and money.

This orangutan is also businessman who seems to have an obsession on running a business to the ground which is exactly what he’s doing to America. Plus he doesn’t think that global warming is real. Uh huh, you might want to tell that to California and its many wildfires, the farmers who had so much rainfall this year and can’t sell their crops due to tariffs, and pretty much to the entire world or you can just act like an idiot which leads into me calling you, and say it with me, a whiny little b*ch.

Oh Trump honey, you and you’re little friends are in so much trouble when it hits January because you’ve got impeached and you were basically whining on Twitter about it. All I heard was doom and gloom and the sounds of a baby crying. Awww….does little Trump want his nappy wampy? Might as well tell your queen Mike Pence that you need one, because you’re losing this chess game.

I can’t get the image of Trump showing off a map on where Hurricane Dorian was going to hit out of my head. He may got the part on where it was going to hit Florida right, but he pointed out that it was going to hit Alabama. Technically that map was outdated and Hurricane Dorian didn’t hit Alabama, but he didn’t say that he was wrong. Instead he just circles on where the hurricane was going to hit with a white sharpie and had a proud look on his face saying “Look what I did, daddy. I’m smart”. He pretty much made the entire state of Alabama fall into a panic.

He was so proud of himself that he phone called his best friend Putin about it. I swear that Putin has something on him and the reason why he wanted Trump to win is so that he can get Trump to do whatever he wants. Trump is basically Putin’s b*ch.

Plus Putin rewrote the Russian constitution which Trump doesn’t even seem to care about America’s own constitution at all. Even his own party members don’t care about it. They seem to care about the 2nd amendment more and it’s a dying shame that all of them will be voted out of office when 2020 hits. Can’t wait for it.

Unfortunately, when there’s a new president, there’s going to be a lot to fix since no one trusts America anymore since Trump ruined everything especially getting out of that deal with Iran. That had to be the most dumbest thing that he’s ever done. Big mistake, Trump.

All he did was claim that Obama gave them money? No he didn’t. The agreement was to see what America was giving to Iran along with unfreezing their money just so they feed their people. But no, blame everything on Obama because why not.

Honestly the current Republican party blame things that happened on former presidents and the Democrats. People also say that the Democrats have gone way too far onto the left, but here’s the thing, the Republicans were the party that actually had the balls of steel, but now they’ve gone completely off the rails allowing their own president to break the constitution just get information on a political rival from a foreign leader which is a violation and illegal. Do the Republicans seem to care about rules being broken? Of course not. What are these people on exactly? Dope? I would sure love to have some of that just so I won’t have to deal with crap.

Most of my year end reviews on what Trump did is hard. Why? It’s because he doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. Again, why is there people out there who support this man? He’s a crook. You might argue with me that he’s a businessman. And? You’re point is? Listen, how can he be a businessman when filed for bankruptcy several times? That’s not a good businessman, that’s a bad one. When are you people going to get that through your thick skulls?

Can you imagine if it were Obama doing the crap that Trump had some so far? Oh god, the Republicans would have his head. The Republicans now? Nah, they don’t want to bother since they don’t want to lose their power. Ahh….that’s too bad, you’re going to be losing that during the senate trail next year.

Speaking of Alabama, they were the first state to pass an anti abortion law, but guess what? Women don’t know if their pregnant in six weeks so why bother. Oh wait, I keep forgetting that the American government is being run by old white men that like taking a giant step back in time where woman didn’t have any rights. Back in the 1960s, doctors wouldn’t tell women about their health but only told it to their husbands. Yeah that’s right, women weren’t treated as as people and it was pretty messed up. Now a few decades before that time period, women couldn’t walk around unless they were with their husbands. Can you imagine that being written in law in this current time period? It would be f**ked up even though it was back then and it still exist in other countries to this day. What���s even worse is that women weren’t taught how to read or weren’t sent to school. That was centuries ago mind you.

2020 is going to be the start of whole new decade. The 2010s weren’t that bad, but it was till the near end were it got bad. 2020 is going to be the year of adios Trump.

Anyway, this has been Lbat1901 reporting last time in 2019. See you in 2020.

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 29 - CGY

4-3 Regulation Loss.

As Sabres fans we’ve dealt with fifty shades of losing the last decade plus. We’ve seen seasons tanked, we’ve seen them lost, we’ve seen them good at the start and bad at the end, we’ve seen them bad at the start and good at the end, we’ve seen every version of losing. When this team went into a tailspin in November it was like old hat. We marched out the think pieces about the “Same old Sabres” that some of us seem eternally on the verge of writing. We manufactured memes about an inactive GM and antiquated coach. We criticized everyone in the organization right up to Terry and Kim for having too much fun in the box seats in Dallas on Thanksgiving. Say what you will about the Pegulas I’ll probably agree with you, but you can’t really get owners fired. Say what you will about Jason Botterill not converting on a trade that’s felt impending for five months now. But have we not seen something unique in Ralph Krueger? Yeah, Jack Eichel has fully arrived as a star in this league and Victor Olofsson has emerged as the first diamond in the rough late-round pick since… Marcus Foligno? But in terms of the overall revelation of having a team that won lots then lost lots and now is once again winning, a new shade of being a fan we haven’t got here in a while, there is an enigma beyond the Captain here: Coach Krueger. I got thinking this way after the Devils fired John Hynes. The Sabres got a Coach fired for the first time since late 2011 when an embarrassing loss to the Sabres got Washington’s Coach fired. Erik Wollschlager at Die by the Blade wrote up the parallel to a remarkably similar 2011-2012 Sabres team that similarly found itself… uh… “competitively middling”. Apart from the weirdness that is the Sabres getting another team’s coach fired, there is a comparison there we’re missing: Hynes lost his job in New Jersey because he failed to motivate a fairly stacked roster there. I’m not saying the Sabres are nearly as stacked but would it be crazy to think part of the reason the Sabres have pulled themselves out of a terrible November unlike so many past seasons is because they have a motivator as Coach? It helps that he’s able to strategize creatively in an odd roster crunch. It’s a theory I’m working on. Give it a good think. It’s making more sense to me each game.

Last night Ralph Krueger’s side ran into a Flames team that knew what to do to frustrate him. Like we’ve seen in most of the Sabres losses the way to beat us is clogging the neutral zone, eliminating second chance opportunities and well… shutting down the almost nonexistent powerplay. Equal time: these two teams stayed close in the shots category the whole game but from about the halfway point on it looked like Calgary had the clear upper hand. The visitors however drew first blood. Victor Olofsson was working the puck around behind the Flames net about three minutes in before launching it along the boards to Rasmus Ristolainen at the blueline. Risto took a mid-strength shot for his standards and both Jack Eichel and Sam Reinhart were buzzing around the shooting lane looking for the tip. The tip that put the puck in past David Rittich belonged to Reinhart. Even before the Flames got the equalizing goal there was daylight for the pessimistic among us in this game. The Buffalo Sabres Hockey team got three powerplay opportunities in the first period. THREE OF THEM. THREE TWO MINUTE SPANS WITH AN EXTRA SKATER. I only yell it because it seems they forgot those are finite periods of time you are statistically supposed to score! They did not. They didn’t in the first or the second period. You know who did? Johnny Gaudreau. JOHNNY HOCKEY cashed in on the very first Flames powerplay to even it up with 3:18 left in the first period. Wouldn’t he look good in Blue and Gold? This game started at 9pm eastern so the second period felt late and for the early bedtimers among us the second period might have fooled you for a nightmare.

Buffalo played confused defense. I don’t know how else to put it. Calgary took over the scoring chances battle, allowing few opportunities for the Sabres in the offensive zone. The time Buffalo was in the defensive zone was atrocious, particularly when it was the Jake McCabe and Zach Bogosian line defending. Bogo seems to think he needs to never look away from the puck carrier to be a good defenseman. To the expense of the defensive scheme both guys just didn’t know how to help. When Calgary finally broke through for the go-ahead goal it was almost comical. Poor Henri Jokiharju loses the puck on the blue line during a Sabres powerplay and Tobias Rieder takes it on a breakaway that ultimately went five hole on Linus Ullmark. That’s right, the go-ahead goal was shorthanded. Those sting. It got worse too, much worse. A few minutes later Mikael Backlund and Sean Monahan teamed up for a fake-out play on the rush. Monahan scored from a tight angle as Ullmark was still getting to the post from the Backlund fake. If the 3-1 lead didn’t hurt enough Buffalo would get four additional powerplay opportunities into the third period that were fruitless. For those keeping track at home that put the Sabres powerplay at 0-for-7 on the night. The powerplay has fallen so far from where it was in October. If it was converting at just 10% the Sabres would probably never have been so far behind. The frustrating night continued into a third period that did provide some surprises for those able to stay up for it.

Who do you hate most on the Calgary Flames? It maybe a hard question to answer since they are so far out of the company of regular competitors for Buffalo. I have your answer: Milan Lucic. Even if you don’t remember what he did to Ryan Miller you don’t need to watch much of his work to hate him. He’s an old fashion goon with zero goals on the season until… ops, I gave it away. A Jeff Skinner pass is intercepted all the way back in the Sabres offensive zone so Derek Ryan and Dillon Dube (both real names) go off toward Ullmark on a 3-on-1 rush dragging Milan Lucic behind as the slowest, heaviest trailer you can imagine. They pass to each other all saucy and what not seeing that it worked on the Monahan goal and drop it to Lucic at the last minute. Ullmark was deked out on the ice with Brandon Montour looking down at him like Mama’s lasagna had just spilled and so my dearest Sabre, perhaps second only to the Captain, gets the indignity of being the recipient of Lucic’s first goal of the season. It hurts just to write. The Flames are now up 4-1 with sixteen minutes left in the third. You’d be forgiven for turning off the TV now. But there was still some fight left and this is something worth mentioning: the Buffalo Sabres attempted a comeback. They didn’t give up, they also didn’t win, but they made it close when they didn’t deserve to. Victor Olofsson and Jake McCabe teamed up for a weird, deflection goal at 17:16 to bring them within two. Then, after Ullmark was pulled for the extra man, Jack Eichel slapped one in to preserve his point streak. 4-3 was where it ended as Eichel’s goal came in the very last minute of play. To be honest, preserving that point streak was a pretty big relief.

I couldn’t rage about this game. I raged for the Boston games. I raged for that Chicago game. I raged so hard about the Minnesota game that I didn’t even write a blog about it. We’re not even halfway through the season, I got to save some steam here. But I am getting defensive of this coach. As I laid out at the beginning of this postgame, I think he’s been blamed a bit too much for the Sabres struggles. Krueger broke up Ristolainen and McCabe, I think I’ve forgiven him for taking so long to do that because the Dahlin injury made me realize, just like with this GM not making a move for a forward, some things are out of the Coach’s hands. His two big bets are paying off: the odd number defenseman/forward rotation remains not ideal in the absence of a trade but has catalyzed the production of Jimmy Vesey, Johan Larsson, Rasmus Asplund and Henri Jokiharju. Sure, I’d like to see Lawrence Pilut in Buffalo but here we are, CC in Botterill on that complaint. The other bet was moving Casey Mittelstadt to the wing. It seems like that was an idea Sabres twitter had as the shit hit the fan last season but now that the Coach is doing it we’re kinda just noticing it in passing. Casey hasn’t yet gotten the goals to show for it but he’s driving play more than we’ve seen. Considering he’s in a contract year I don’t mind this situation as much. And you might have noticed shortly after we all got upset about Colin Miller being in the Press Box, he wasn’t in the Press Box anymore. Krueger makes some confounding moves but when they don’t work he fixes it. He’s willing to evolve and change and the is the fundamental difference between him and Housley. What I’m saying is the problems we still see on this roster lie with the GM, not the Coach. Once again, just a working theory. Like it, share it, and of course comment on it. I suspect defending a Coach elicits some strong reactions just like the Lucic goal elicited a strong emotional reaction from me.

I said going into this trip I expected the Sabres to get 4 out of 6 points. No, even this optimist isn’t sticking to that prediction after they forfeited both points against Calgary. That said, Vancouver is literally a single game better right now and in spite of their better play as of late I don’t think the Sabres will simply lay down and die on Saturday. You can get two points there no matter how rested they are. Edmonton? Well… we’ll cross that bridge when it comes I guess. Are the Sabres back? I thought so. What about them Bills, eh? Do you think they can win the division? Whatever to not talk anymore about this game. Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. And yet again, somehow at the time of the writing of this blog the Sabres remain in a playoff spot.

[pianosmasher]

Polyamory thoughts:

What I want to explore - and what I meant by making this post last week - is what would be an inescapable contradiction in the cultural consciousness. Everywhere I look, I’m seeing two polar attitudes in romantic relationships: passionate monogamists and wholehearted polyamorists.

One of the things you’ll read in the updated edition of The Ethical Slut is Easton and Hardy relishing in how commonplace the word “polyamorous” is in the queer community - to the point where its abbreviation, “poly,” actually signifies the whole word when said aloud. To give proper context to this statement, it’s worth noting that the queer lexicon is (as was once described to me) a labyrinth from which there is no escape, with words falling in and out of use and connotation on an almost daily basis. I myself am only able to keep up with the language by being connected to those within the community through this platform and others, and it’s amazing to watch things come and go. (For example: it’s been a full year since I’ve heard the word “pansexual.” Most people have allowed “bisexual” to absorb the connotations of the word, and those that identify as such often expect others to understand that they do mean all genders, and not just two at the ends of the gender binary). So the fact that a word and its abbreviation have made it out of the fringes and into the commonplace even within its own community is certainly worth celebrating. Easton and Hardy are right to mention it as significant.

And to speak further to polyamory’s legitimacy: unlike the “free love” of the sixties, which was mainly used to describe behavior after the fact, “poly” describes a set of principles, a lifestyle with definite rules and opportunities for trust among its individuals. In this way it is nearly identical to monogamy. And also like monogamy, common acceptance of the term in a cultural arena legitimizes these principles. In both polyamory and monogamy, we agree not to “cheat.” We agree to be honest. We agree to be intimate. We agree to be passionate. We agree to love so long as the expectations that go along with the labels attached to love - “lover,” “boyfriend,” “partner,” etc. - have agreed-upon meanings and rules between the two of us. In other words, if we can recognizably talk about it, we can participate in it publicly. When people ask about our behavior whenever it seems out of the ordinary, we will simply inform them that we are together, partners, dating, whatever the practice tells us will make the most sense to say.

This is all not to say that polyamory is “normal.” This is just to say that enough people know what it is to know what to expect out of polyamorous individuals without needing a separate explanation of the practice. Enough people know that it is a possible arrangement, and so it becomes an institution of sorts. It holds gravity in the form of its meaning. And to clarify, just because a pathway is available doesn’t mean it’s often taken, or even considered on equal terms - look no further than the cultural spike of interest in polygamy during the mid-2000’s as an example, and how even today it’s held in a negatively transgressive light.  What this all is to say is that polyamory has become known. It is here more than it has ever been before.

And I find that fascinating.

I find it fascinating during a time when marriage equality - a monogamous institution - has been strengthened by the supreme court with nationwide power. I find it fascinating whenever I see “wholesome” cultural content (memes, etc.) about how love and support really can be true from one person to another. I find it fascinating when I remember how many dating apps are out there (Tinder, OK Cupid, Grindr, etc.) specifically with the goal of connecting one person to one other person for a romantic interaction, and that those using these apps looking for a third or a fourth are ridiculed for being outliers (though, admittedly, often this is rightfully so). I find it fascinating that, at a time when monogamy couldn’t be more permeable, powerful, and popular, polyamory has, in however small a capacity, risen into the cultural consciousness.

One would think that the idea would be shoved down in disgust, waiting its turn until monogamy could be deconstructed for its flaws on a grand public scale (again). But a good number of my friends are polyamorous, and so are a few minor celebrities I follow on social media. It’s here. Against the odds, a new identity has arrived in parallel to the strengthening of its converse. And I’ve been obsessed with that seemingly impossible thing for some time now. I can’t stop thinking about how strange that is.

For an example of what I mean: I consider a part of the gray area in between to be hookup culture. Now I’ve been to several parties in my life, and had several men and women hit on me pretty hard at these parties. But consistently it’s never been a matter of hooking up once and maybe we’ll do it again. It’s “I’m in love with you, let’s get coffee Sunday morning.” And after talking to my friends that are similarly approached, they encounter similar difficulties even when the physical aspect of the hookup does happen: emotions and expectations intervene shortly after the tryst begins, and the whole thing spectacularly derails. Hookup culture is the one being pushed around.

‘And then there are Tinder dates, which too often happen once and go nowhere. There are bars and clubs, but everyone is on their phones or with their friends. We don’t connect the way we used to. We read situations differently and we don’t talk about how until it’s too late. And if you ask me, we want structures to help ourselves understand how to interact with each other again.

And there’s monogamy, a structure with an infinitely-long history of expectations and behaviors. And there’s polyamory, an equally-thorough but barely established structure, sitting in the corner ready to answer your questions if only you’d just ask.

I know all of this is anecdotal. I know I don’t have the facts to back this up. But these are my observations, my intuitions that I cannot deny. It is what I feel is true. And I may not be alone in that.

And so I wonder what will happen, should polyamory continue to rise. With a whole new set of values and expectations opened up to our realm of possibility, who would we be? What would our problems be? Who would our lovers be? And how would we love differently, if at all? Because you could be poly and only have one partner your whole life. It’s a question of opportunity. It’s knowing you could have more if the opportunity came. What would that knowledge, resting in the back of your mind, do to how you would see your partner? What would it do to you?

If I could love the whole world, one person at a time, who would I be? In a world like that, who would you be? And who would you be to everyone else in your life? To me?

[restoftheowl]

Becoming undoomed

This is the second follow up on Does Culture Need Humans, originally published as an addendum to the book Encyclopedia of Internet Memes and Phenomena. In that paper I argued that memes control genes, and since culture is the main force driving the evolution of homo sapiens, it is a quasi-living entity that is also the pinnacle of evolution. Here I am looking at a scenario in which culture changes due to external factors.

I remember being perplexed finding out futurology was actually about determining possible futures. For me all of science and technology seemed to be pretty occupied with the future, so I expected futurology to be about why there are no masses of chimney pot hat wearing bearded men flying around on planes that seem to be made out of sticks and bed linen, since once that was supposed to be the future, or maybe find out what it was those people did who were better than most at foretelling what was to come.

Anyway, here’s an attempt that goes both ways: determine a possible future and a suggest a more efficient approach to determining it. The original thesis is that life creates the reality in which culture created humans, to carry on the project of expansion and taking over the universe, thus the following is also an attempt at cultural futurology. Our thought experiment is a doom scenario with a twist, and it will be presented with a twirl. The premise is the following:

A cosmic event in the Solar System will render the Earth inhabitable. (An asteroid is about to or has already hit a planet or a moon, causing a cascading effect, changing the orbit of planets, maybe a planet was outright blown to pieces for a shower of megaton asteroids, or maybe it’s a black hole moving in at great speed.)

We find out that we have some 10 to 20 years to make an escape.

Aren’t we lucky?

Midday

All we have to do is move all of humanity into space except those who cannot or will not move. Fortunately we have about ten thousand nuclear warheads lying around, which are no longer useful for their original purpose - that is blowing each other up -, but could be excellent for propulsion, putting really huge vessels into orbit. Background radiation and environmental concerns don’t matter as much at this point. There is some time to manufacture some more nuclear bombs, develop more efficient ways of using them, so we could eventually launch tens of thousands of ships into space. We would like to bring some things with us too, not as much as we could though, since people are priority, so no elephants or sculptures.

At the same time we can set up some serious operation on the Moon, build a few mass drivers, start constructing space habitats of the O’Neill cylinder variety - they are spacious tubular constructions that spin to create comfortable artificial gravity inside. Alternatively we could colonize the Moon and somehow move it out of the endangered region. Also we could do both the space habitat and Moon colony.

A planetary evacuation is costly, but then again a couple of decades worth of military spending, infrastructure building and maintenance, carbon dioxide credits have just become available for funding the great project. People need to be informed, prepared and moved into place in en masse. It’s the greatest undertaking of human history and we can cope all of it with our present technical capabilities.

Day One

Well, nobody expected the whole remaining humanity to fly by Voyager 1, but here we are. The new place is small but cosy. We watched the last spaceships leave and the big farewell party. Now we are on our own in space, gravely depressed for the loss we suffered. Most people lost loved ones on Earth, our planet is gone, our home, our country, history, art, and all the holy places too.

It’s a new life, with new rules. No fire outdoors, no shooting, absolutely no wars (unless we wish to go medieval), no cars. No rich or poor, no growth. Asteroid mining for profit, wiring money through light years, megacorporations, colonialist logic make no sense. Return on investment can wait a couple of centuries. It’s not a sci-fi social commentary metaphor with light makeups, it’s a lifeboat, where you don’t want eat one another.

Most aspects of society needs to be balanced and controlled. A number of things that we considered basic until now are no longer accessible in reality, however we can have them in virtual world. In fact we will probably need to matrix ourselves in an organized way to avoid a total mental breakdown of society. Some mercyful artificial intelligence may help us during and after the evacuation, supervising the efficient dissemination of knowledge, keeping up individual psychological composure.

We have now centuries before reaching another star system and with so much time on our hands and for lack of better things to do, humanity may turn to total spiritual rebuilding. Old religions were tied to our planet in so many ways, most of it had to be left behind, now we need to start anew, incorporate actual Earth-shattering events that went down, the human effort and emotions, integrate our new virtual life, and the holy reality our fleet is drags with itself into the cosmos.

Day Zero

In our cultural futurology thought experiment we now return to the day we find out about the impending doom. Are we better than dinosaurs?

As the news breaks, people realize they don’t really need to keep saving for their pension or pay mortgage. Shortly all stores of value go to zero, stocks, gold, money. General loss of focus and motivation follows. Some panic, some say they were right all along and then panic. Kingdoms fall, all power is lost. Now we are trying to save ourselves, while the whole society is racing down the slope of regression towards disintegration. Some systems, disciplined factions manage keep their act together and evacuate, losing a lot of time and life in the process, for a fraction of effect, meaning serious risk to their actual survival.

Even though societies may have various contingency plans, everyday operation includes the repression of the thoughts of doom and rightly so. Liberal democratic capitalism too is based on the repression of the fact that all turns to dust within an undefined period of time - emphasis on undefined. We need to distort our view of the future in order to be operational.

The good, the bad, and the ugly

What do we do now? You are a leader of your country in live video conference with your colleagues. The news is not out yet and you have two choices. One we call Suppression, the other Unity.

In the Suppression scenario we apparently decide on not letting the news of impending doom go public. The population is kept in ignorance, all available resources are channeled to the evacuation project, all work done behind the veil, until everything is prepared for a full disclosure. Benefits of this approach are: disorder avoided, stress delayed, with tolerable level of efficiency. Downsides are: depriving people of the knowledge is depriving them of pride of being part of the effort, resulting in tension, and the possible burden of those who could have been saved while mankind was kept asleep. The single biggest obstacle to overcome is suppression itself, not only because it eats into your resources, but because what you do involves masses of workers, heavy lifting and numerous nuclear detonations.

How about Unification? You decide to go ahead with the full disclosure. Tell people something like this: “Look, we have a hundred and fifteen months to leave the Earth. It’s terrible news but we can make it. We will work together and try to save every single person. The worst we can do is panic. So we need to carry on with life as if nothing happened. Which will be hard since everything is lost and nothing has value anymore. Only survival has real value, so right now we introduce a new global currency: evacuation karma coin or spacebuck (any odd name will suffice) which will be backed by the effort that goes into saving humanity. You might turn out to be too old, dead or otherwise unfit to leave when the time comes, but with the evacuation karma coin you will be able to save your family or anyone you choose. Learn something that will be useful off the planet, help and encourage your fellow men.”

Quite a sound bite there. We hope we didn’t misjudge mass psychology and the efficiency we gained by openness will not be negated by the insanity and anarchy induced by stress. Also we expect our newly invented emergency currency to soak up fleeing capital preventing total financial meltdown, even better: we use the momentum to turn from growth to post-scarcity.

Now, whether Suppression or Unity would produce better results is up for discussion. As a closure, for such an event I’m offering an opinion and a slogan. Whatever the decision will be, we should choose wisely what we try preserve from the Old World, lest we end up holding on to something in vain. And then our slogan shall be: We are no dinosaurs!