#I recommend still looking it up and listening to other people explain it!

[years-n-feather]

what’s the pink, white, and purple flag in your profile pic? Love your blog btw, it has such good vibes!

That's so nice, thank you! 💗

It's a pomo flag (pomosexual, coming from post-modern), it's not that well know but it's essentially a label that rejects the current labeling system. It's a bit broad and vague but I like that a lot about it, it can mean something else to any person and yet I relate a lot to anyone who uses it.

As for me, I can't get a grasp on how attraction works and it's a bit of an abstract concept to me. I can get really in my head because of it but no matter how hard I try I can't pinpoint anything. Because of this I couldn't find a label that fit me.

I felt like every label I stumbled across had a list of requirements that I couldn't fit. I knew straight didn't fit me, nor gay, nor bi, pan, omni, aro, ace, lesbian, ect. Not even queer seemed right to use, I just didn't know and I felt like an imposter for using any label.

I decided that I wouldn't need a label and I can just be me without having to explain myself, that I was ok either way. But I couldn't help feeling lost. I felt pressure to still find something, like I needed to comform, or people would make assumptions about me. I was still constantly questioning, as if being unlabeled was only a short stop and I needed to keep looking for a destination. I didn't want to have to. (Not to disrespect people who are unlabeled at all, I see you and I love you sm I just couldn't feel comfortable with it)

That's when a friend who identifies as pomo too explained that they had similar experiences to mine and introduced me to the term. I did research into it and it finally felt right ya know? I was overjoyed that there were more people out there with similar feelings to mine and there wasn't just something wrong with me.

It's broad and truly feels like it has no requirements, so I can use it without feeling any guilt. I can explain myself better and it has taken away any type of pressure I felt previously. It sounds weird but wearing the label feels like a little shield!

Long text, sorry for that, but I know it's hard to find good info on it so I figured an example of someone's personal experience would help. Thanks a lot for asking! Happy pride <3

[kerink]

in light of people's confusion over cecil's longevity in @sexymanotd i wanted to document a bit of his history for those unfamiliar or nostalgic

welcome to night vale is a podcast written by joseph fink and jeffrey cranor. cecil gerschwin palmer is the main character and voiced by cecil baldwin.

it debuted on june 15, 2012 it reached its peak in popularity in 2013-2014

despite this, wtnv has been one of tumblr's top fandoms since staff started tracking fandom-related data in 2014

for the longest time the only thing we knew about cecil's appearance was: "He is wearing a tie. He is not tall or short. Not thin or fat." and that wasn't until episode 19 which aired march 15, 2013. for almost a full year we had no idea what cecil looked like. so tumblr's collective unconscious kicked into high gear and we did what we do best

we created a tumblr sexyman

from know your meme: "Defining traits of the archetype include skinny body type, trickster or villain role and dapper clothing."

know your meme identifies wheatley (portal 2, 2011) and the onceler (the lorax, 2012) as being likely tumblr's first sexymen. and the onceler fandom was at its peak in 2012-2013, the same time as wtnv. in addition to this, the hannibal fandom has been cited as one of the contributing factors to wtnv's success on tumblr.

so tumblr had created an archetype that worked and the wtnv fandom was made up of mostly hannibal fans - the foundation for putting cecil in a suit was there. and honestly? cecil's at work in the show, why wouldn't he be well dressed?

however, while this explains his attire it doesn't explain some of cecil's more unique sexyman features, namely the tentacles. for this we have to return to the 2014 fandom review analysis where you can see the most popular fandom at the time: homestuck

haven't you ever wondered why almost a quarter (189/923 at time of writing) of E rated wtnv fics on ao3 are tagged tentacles or tentacle sex? why cecil having tentacles for a dick is such a seemingly popular headcanon? well look no further then homestuck cultural hold over.

throughout all of this, the development of the sexyman archetype on tumblr and the rise of homestuck, one creator really stands out: kinomatika

kino was one of the most popular homestuck artists on tumblr at the time, popular for their eridan fanart. if you google image search "welcome to night vale" kino's art is still one of the first results you'll get

their design was so popular in fact it was featured in wtnv related articles from the time

and yes there were absolutely other artists giving cecil tentacles and moving tattoos at the time, but it can't be understated the reach kino had and the influence their homestuck roots had on their design choices

i recommend going through the archive of @nightvaleartclub to see how cecil used to be portrayed back in the early days. unfortunately the earliest fanart i've been able to find is july 2013 and i find it hard to believe it took tumblr a year to draw him. although, i started listening at episode 5 and didn't start drawing him until then myself so who knows...

cecil has had tumblr's heart in a vice grip since episode 1, with "20,000 posts, 183,000 blogs and 680,000 notes using the #Night Vale tag" during its first week. tumblr's love for wtnv has always been fairly genuine, from the impact the writing has had on tumblr humor and future story telling, to how wtnv paved the way for lgbt+ representation in indi media, to how it popularized podcasts as a medium for story telling, to the little comforts some of cecil's quotes still bring people today

cecil is not only a founding father of tumblr culture, but also a blorbo of the people. cecil the character in canon has a tumblr account where he posts his art and slash fanfiction.

although cecil's character has developed over time and we've come to see what a ditzy, eccentric, brat he really is, changing his status from sexyman to babygirl, cecil is absolutely a character you should embrace. and you know what... despite what i've said in the past

#cecilsweep

[ID: Images one and two are Google analytic graphs for the search terms "welcome to night vale" and "wtnv" between June 15, 2015 and January 27, 2023. They both depict very sharp spikes around 2013-2014 until the lines decrease greatly over time.

Image three is a drawing of Cecil from Welcome To Nightvale. He is white, with white hair, glasses, a third eye on his forehead, and he is wearing a suit. In the background is the silhouette of a neighborhood from the WTNV official art, a galaxy, and a moon. It is tinted purple. Image four is the always has been meme. Instead of the earth is the tumblr logo, and the text is: “a wtnv fansite?” “Always has been”. End ID] id thanks to @princess-of-purple-prose

[jhdyuiee]

die with a smile

༯ pairing: soloist!jaehyun x fem!reader

༯ tags/warnings: angst, fluff, smut!, protected sex (reader is on pill), multiple positions & orgasms, kissing/making out, nipple/breast play, oral (f&m receiving), spanking, marking, hair pulling, name calling (good girl), pet names (my love, darling, baby), memory loss, minor drinking, cursing, stranger-to-lovers-to-strangers, car accident/crash, indication of blood, hidden relationship

༯ w.c: 14.3k!

༯ a.n: hi! i’m backs woohoo. this one came to me through hearing bruno mars & lady gaga’s new song “die with a smile” & with the great help of one of my mutals we made it possible! i’m not gonna lie this one was hard because i felt like in order to make it sad enough i had to put myself in that position. nonetheless i hope u all enjoy this one, probably one of my favorite writes. thank u for too for the continuous love and support, i love u all, take care, and stay safe! jiji out 🤍

༯ taglist! @dokyriu 🤍

you hummed the song playing overhead the store speakers as you stood behind the counter, waiting. for the most part, the store was empty, only garnering around 10 people since opening time. you quickly grew bored again, deciding to walk around the store. you fixed some records that were outta place, organized the booth where customers could listen to the records— heck you even swept the place. as you swept the door chimed, a customer. “hello! welcome, please feel free to browse around,” you put on your best employee voice and smile. the individual however didn’t respond, in fact he looked rather suspicious.

he was a tall man, with a black hoodie, face mask, cap, baggy jeans, and some—unusual–shoes. your eyes lingered on him a while longer while he sported straight to the indie records. however your curiosity soon died down, when you remembered you were still on the job.

as you went back to the register, you noticed the man walking towards you. he had a record in hand, you couldn’t make it out just yet until he stood just a couple inches apart. “would this be all?” you asked as he handed you the record.

cigarettes after sex, x’s

before he could even respond you bursted out in excitement. “wow! no way, you’re a fan too!?” if there was one thing about you, it was that you not only adored music in general, but a big fan of cigarettes after sex and their songs.

you kept looking at the man, watching as he brought his mask down. “yeah, i take it you’re one as well by the looks of it,” he says. you’re amazed, with his mask down you notice how attractive the once suspicious man was. not to mention his voice, it was a sweet melody of its own.

you nod shyly, “i’ve been a fan since like, ever.” a small smile touches his lips, “that’s impressive,” he says before taking a brief pause. you noticed as he observed you before asking, “you got any other recommendations?”

before you knew it, you quickly lost yourself in his question and the ones that followed. there wasn’t anything you loved more but to express your love for music, i mean after all this job was the whole reason you applied for it. being in a record store meant being surrounded by music, by your love and admiration. and if there was one thing you learned during your conversation with the man in front of you, it was that you two surprisingly had a lot in common. there were no words to explain how you felt, but you felt drawn to him. looking at it, you probably shouldn’t i mean you still didn’t even know his name!

a laugh came out of him as you blabbered about some crazy experience you had while attending a concert, until a phone started ringing. his phone. he reached for it from his back pocket where he excused himself to answer it.

you rang up his record, waiting for him to return so he could pay. when he did, he apologized for taking up so much of your time. “i-it’s alright, i was in need of a distraction,” you say as you look around the store. “it gets quite lonely here sometimes.”

he takes out a card from his wallet, tapping it on the card reader and when it reads it through, you hand him his record. “i had fun talking, i hope you have a gr-” you had started to bid him goodbye when he interrupted you.

“my names jaehyun. uhm, and if it’s alright can we- can we meet up again sometime?” he asks, noting as his ears turned red. how cute, you thought. also thinking how this was only supposed to be a one-time interaction. however you mind was already set even before you could tell what he was trying to say.

“of course, how about i give you my number so we can keep in touch?” you then proceed to ask. jaehyun nods his head, retrieving his phone and then handing it to you. he looks at you as you typed your number onto his phone, writing your name in the contact.

“my names y/n, y/l/n by the way. i’ll look forward to your call, or message.” jaehyun smiled, putting his phone away and grabbing the record. “i’ll see you then, y/n.”

your heart skipped, at either hearing him say your name or at his dimpled-smile he gave you as he walked out of the store. your eyes lingering on him as he disappeared.

“jaehyun,” you mumble to yourself. his name sounds a bit familiar, but no matter how long you searched you’d neve be able to find out why.

and when you finished your shift, grabbing your stuff from the employee lockers, you looked at your phone. one particular notification capturing you attention, and making your heart skip another beat.

unknown: how does this weekend sound?

you smiled, remembering him again. his smile, his voice, his everything. quickly saving his number, you then replied.

you: it sounds perfect

you: guess i’ll see you this weekend, jaehyun :)

walking out of the store and to your home, you couldn’t help but recount your interaction with him, smiling like a child. oblivious to the change that was about to come into your life.

you sighed, tossing another piece of clothing onto your bed. jaehyun was supposed to come pick you up in a couple of hours and you still couldn’t decide what to wear. you didn’t even know where he was taking you, he refused to tell you. this makes picking out an outfit for a date- wait a moment… was it a date?

you paused to think. he never explicitly said it was, you just sort of assumed it was. oh great… what if this wasn’t even a date and you’re over here trying to dress to the nines.

“ah fuck it,” you curse as you just grab an outfit you’d previously tossed onto your bed. i mean this would be fine right? it wasn’t a date, just two acquaintances meeting up to spark some friendship?

as you did your finishing touches, you glance over at your phone which had just begun to ring. you looked at the caller id, a smile plastered on your face.

“hello?” you hear the deep-dreamy–voice that you couldn’t get out of your head, on the other line.

a beat passes before you realize you have yet to answer. “h-hi!” you stumbled on your words and voice slightly too loud. though you couldn’t see it, your face felt hot with embarrassment.

on the other line a slight chuckle erupts from their throat. “everything alright? you’re not gonna cancel on me are you?” he asks.

“y-yes, sorry about that… just nervous,” you mutter the last words. “that’s a relief then since i’m already outside your home,” he responds.

you felt yourself slightly freeze. jaehyun was outside your home, like right now. when the thought registers in your mind, you quickly fumble, grabbing everything you needed before heading out.

“i’m going out right now,” you say, voice slightly panting at the speed you’re going. something within you didn’t even want to spend a second apart from him, a part of you needed to be in his company again. you couldn’t explain these indescribable feelings, however they didn’t bother you either.

as you make your way outside, you notice a black car parked in front of your home. soon after jaehyun comes out in all his glory. unlike the first time you saw him, he wore a white long-sleeved shirt, green cargo pants, and black shoes. nothing suspicious to the man.

“hey,” he says smiling so hard his dimples pop out. really, really cute, you thought. you fidget your hands before responding with a simple, “hi.”

the atmosphere felt a little awkward, but not uncomfortable. in a way it truly seemed like a date of a newly formed couple. however you squashed such thoughts; it’s not a date and you’re not a couple, you repeated in your head.

“shall we?” jaehyun asks, opening the passenger door. you nod before heading inside. after shutting the door, he makes his way to the driver’s side and begins to drive. plus points for being quite the gentleman, you thought.

the car was silent throughout the ride. in truth, this silence was killing you so you decided to speak up. “you’re not taking me to some place to murder me right?” you light-heartedly joked. you’d hoped it really is just a joke. jaehyun sighed, “you caught me.” you smiled, “well ain’t that too bad, you’ll have to postpone it for another day.”

“are you saying you’ll say yes if i ask to take you out again?” jaehyun says. it was a good thing you had your face to the window because you could’ve sworn your cheeks were pink.

“depends on how today will go,” you respond later. “speaking of which, you still won’t tell me where we’re going right?” you ask, finally gaining the courage to glance at him. to your surprise his eyes were already on yours. that darn red light, you cursed inside your head. a small smile appears on his face, “hm, nope.” he pops the word out as if to tease you.

“you’ll find out soon either way, we’re almost there,” he says, hitting the road again when the light turns green. the chatter between you two doesn’t die down, talking about just anything in the time it takes to arrive at the mysterious location.

looking out you recognized where this was. “a m-movie theater?” you questioned. i mean there was nothing wrong with it but it was definitely not at the top of your list of potential spots.

“i hope you like movies,” he says, unbuckling his seatbelt as he gets ready to get out of the car. following suit, you unbuckle your seatbelt and head out. the theater was quite empty as there weren’t many cars parked. when the two of your began walking you spoke up, “what movie are we watching?”

he faintly smiles, “it’s a surprise.” god, him and his surprises. “you know i think i might be the one to murder you first,” you say, earning you a genuine laugh out of the man. a smile touches your own face at the sound of his laughter, your heart too feeling warm.

you follow him, side-by-side, as you two enter the theater. you watched as jaehyun whips his phone out to present the tickets to the employee up front. when you two made it through he stops to ask, “want anything?” you ponder for a minute, “i guess some popcorn and a drink would be nice.” jaehyun nods before heading off to get the things you asked for. in the meantime, you fished out your wallet.

when he came back with one popcorn, two drinks, and some candy in hand you asked, “how much was it?” you’re not sure if he didn’t hear you or he chose to ignore you, but he began walking to the direction of the theater where the movie was going to be shown.

when you attempt to help him with the drinks, your fingers graze his. in just that small contact you could still feel the burning warmth of him spread throughout you. and of course being the gentleman he was he opened the theater door for you. “t-thank you,” you shyly thanked jaehyun as you stepped into the theater. you briefly waited for him to go inside before you followed him to your seats. located smack dab in the middle was how you found yourself. however curiosity still returned to you, what movie could th- wait, wait, wait.

you glance at jaehyun, only one popcorn. one popcorn and two people. oh god... “u-um, i-is that for the two of us to share?” you asked, hoping it doesn’t rub off the wrong way. “y-yeah, is that alright? i figured this would be most convenient,” jaehyun responded, you noted the slight stumble at the beginning. jaehyun has never once stumbled on his words.

you sink into your seat, god this was making it harder to not think it’s not a date. fortunately, you didn’t have any more time to worry about things as the movie soon started.

a tragic romance.

beautiful was an understatement for the film. you balled your eyes nearly the whole film. two lovers, madly in love until one dies. it might’ve seemed cliche but it was so beautifully written and executed that none of that mattered.

“wherever you go, that’s where i’ll follow.”

the last line the female lead mutters as she places a singular white flower on her lover's grave.

when the ending credits roll around and the lights turn on you suddenly remember you weren’t alone, jaehyun. you whip your head to your side, there he was. he turns his head a moment later. “i’m guessing you enjoyed it by the tears on your face.”

fuck, you forgot to wipe my tears away. you quickly get up from your seat, wiping the tears away talking to jaehyun as he walks behind you. “th-that’s n-not f-fair,” you stuttered on your words as the crying made you unable to talk. “what’s not fair?” he says in a playful tone. “t-taking me to watch a sad romance movie!” you slightly raise your voice as you turn around to face the man who caused these tears.

however your breath was caught. jaehyun only stood a few inches away from you. your eyes widened, face feeling hotter as he inches just a bit closer. you stood there frozen as jaehyun leaned down to your ear. “if i apologize, will you still agree to see me again?” he whispers. jaehyun’s hot breath burning your ear. you could’ve sworn your hearts thumping could be heard throughout the theater.

“we-well th-that’s not- you don’t need to do that… i was just kidding,” you say, your last words sounding more breathless. why, why, why… why were you feeling this way, feeling this way about jaehyun nonetheless?

“that’s a relief then,” jaehyun responds, moving from his spot in front of you to walk outside the movie theater. you stood there for a moment or two later before you rushed to his side again. the burn in your ear neverending.

on the ride back home the car was silent. you were too afraid to speak up, trying to gather your feelings. and before you knew it, you both were outside your home. yet before you could open the door to get out, jaehyun stops you with a call to your name. you turn around, eyes on his. “y-yes?” fuck, the constant stuttering was starting to piss you off. “so what’s your answer, will you go on another date with me?” he asks, so smoothly and calmly it shocks you.

d-date!? wait, so this actually was a date… “uh, uhm, this was a date?” you stupidly asked. jaehyun nods his head, “yes, at least that’s what i thought.”

“i- i tried telling myself it wasn’t…” you admit. “ah, it seems i should’ve made it clear. y/n, i asked you out on a date and i hope you would be open to going on another one with me,” he says so kindly it melts your heart.

god, you’re a fool for him. god, you li…

“i will, i’ll go on as many dates with you until you get tired,” you replied. jaehyun’s dimples popped out when he smiled widely, “you’ll probably be the one who gets tired of me first.” you too are smiling, “well then i hope neither of us ends up tired.”

“i hope so too,” jaehyun says, noting as he brings his hand to the back of your head. with his thumb he caresses your cheek, smiling at you so sweet like a lover does to their most beloved. it stayed like that for a good while before you snapped out of it. he wasn’t your lover… not yet.

“well then, i’ll see you next time. i’ll look forward to where you’ll take me next, just make sure i don’t cry again,” you start bidding him farewell. he retracts his arm, “i’ll keep that in mind. take care y/n,” jaehyun says.

opening the door you get out of the car, but before you leave you decide to give jaehyun a final farewell. “the date was actually really beautiful, i enjoyed it a lot. well then, drive back safely jaehyun,” you said smiling when you see his surprised face. you shut the door however, not letting him get a word in.

walking to the apartment complex’s door, you’re about to open it when you decide to take one final look. jaehyun’s car, unmoved. a small smile taints your face when you use one arm to wave goodbye. you were sure he must’ve seen, though you wished you would’ve seen his reaction.

on the way to your apartment, thoughts of jaehyun and your date today wouldn’t go away. it was the only thing you could think about and the only thing you could look forward to. you missed jaehyun already. it was thoughts like this and others that you finally were able to confirm.

you like jaehyun. The same man you met just a few days ago. no, you’ve been liking him since that day. you weren’t one to believe in that cliche, love-at-first-sight, but that day everything changed. jaehyun was able to do that, bringing you change.

every skip of your heart, every smile, laugh, tear, stutter; everything was a clear indication of your feelings towards jaehyun. and now that you’ve discovered this, you wanted more. you wanted to make jaehyun fall in love with you as well. it doesn’t matter how many dates you’ll have to go on, as long as he’s by your side that’s all that matters.

jaehyun, the man you like- no, love.

it took about a little over a month for you to quickly regret ever liking jaehyun, much less loving the man. thus you’ve spent the day ignoring his calls and messages, your upset and furry being in control for the day.

this all happened yesterday when he took you to the aquarium. there was nothing unusual about this date, well minus the part where he wore a mask and a cap. that was actually the first red flag.

the date was going good, great, superb. however when you were coming back from using the restroom you noticed two girls surrounding jaehyun. you watched as they excitedly talked to the man you were in the middle of date with. from the looks of it they were taking pictures with him before asking for his autograph. ok, red flag two.

a bit more chatter later before they excused themselves, noting the way jaehyun quickly brings up his mask and lowers his cap a little lower. this was your cue to go to him. though when you arrived he acted like nothing had just happened. ok… red flag 3?

fortunately, but unfortunately, the date continued as normal. the two of you exploring the aquarium, looking at the various species of fishes, going under the water bridge, touching stingray, everything.

you even thought maybe he would’ve brought something up on the car ride, but no, nothing. it wasn’t until after you finally reached your home that you decided to take matters into your own hands.

it truly was fascinating just how handy, dandy the internet was. a quick search to the name, jaehyun, and you were presented with just about every fact about the man you’d been seeing.

his name is jeong jaehyun, the same man you love, a celebrity. not just any, a soloist whose album had just come out a month prior to your first meeting with him. the more you scrolled, the more baffled you became because you had to find out his birthday, age, and everything else through the goddamn internet. not through jaehyun, the thought made you sad.

were you not trustworthy? why would he keep such a secret for you so long? was it intentional, or not?

you realized just how different you’re lives were. you a record store employee, he a global star who everyone had their eyes on. it was surprising how no one had discovered the two of you until now. heck, you didn’t even know either. then it clicked, you remembered why his name sounded so familiar. you recounted how some girls just a couple days before your meeting with him were mentioning his name, jaehyun.

and as you laid in bed last night, you couldn’t stop your brain from wandering, presenting various scenarios. what are you gonna do now? continue whatever you two had? end things?

you felt your heart ache a little, since a part deep down inside you didn’t want that. you selfishly still desired the man the world watched, you selfishly loved the man, the star they called jeong jaehyun.

as you continued recounting the events of last night, your doorbell rang. you got up, you weren’t really expecting anyone. however you still went to open it, only to be met with the one person you didn’t want to see.

as you tried shutting the door, you heard his hand bang against the door, stopping it from closing. this man is strong, you thought. succeeding in opening the door again, jaehyun steps in. the more he stepped in, the more steps you took back. neither of you said a word to each other until you almost stumbled. jaehyun quickly reaches for you, stopping you from falling.

what was this? a k-drama? you thought, shooing his arm that was around your waist away. you refused to talk first, so jaehyun did. “is everything alright? you weren’t answering my calls or texts so i thought i’d come over to check if you were still alive,” he says looking straight at you.

you decided it was best to be frank with him, no need to beat around the bush. “i don't know jeong jaehyun, you tell me.”

you note his eyes widen, his lips slightly parting when you said his name. “i- wh- jeong jaehyun?” he says as he stumbles on his words. you roll your eyes, was he really acting dumb right now, you thought.

“yes! you, jeong jaehyun! mr. singer!” you say, practically yelling everything. his mouth opens as if to say something before he shuts it back up again. this was infuriating you, he was infuriating you.

“h- how did you find out?” he decides to ask. “yesterday,” you replied, followed by the recounting of events you saw at aquarium.

“i- i see,” he just says as he turns his head to the floor. “were you planning to keep this from me?” you ask, biting on your lip.

he looks back up, “n-no! no- that wasn’t what i was trying to do.” he gets closer, and when you don’t move back he continues. “that was never my intention, i was going to tell you… though i never found the right opportunity to.”

his face turned soft, almost as if he were pleading with you to believe him. “it’s the truth y/n… please believe me. you know i would never lie to you, you know how hard i’ve been trying to get to know you, to spend time with you.”

“i- i believe you jaehyun but,” you start to say before you pause to find the right words. “you’re a star jaehyun, you and i both know this will not work out. i don’t want to ruin your reputation, your dream you’ve worked so hard to reach.” you felt your eyes begin to blur but you push the tears back. not right now, not in front of him, you thought.

he takes his hands and places them on your cheeks. “n- no y/n, my love… this is why i didn’t want to tell you, i didn’t want this. i didn’t want you like this, i could care less what the world would think about us. all that would matter in the end are my feelings for y-” he stops himself.

my love? my feeling for…? no, you’re lying. this has to be a dream right?

“fuck,” he curses lowly, taking one hand to rub his face. “pretend you didn’t hear that last part, i don’t want to tell you that to you just yet. could you wait a little longer for that?”

you slowly nod your head, “are you sure things would work out? between us?” you question, needing more reassurance before it’s too late to go back. jaehyun looks at you, taking your body into his. he wraps his arms around you, you fit perfectly around him. both of you feeling pleasant with each other's bodies, so warm, so perfect.

“it’ll be more than alright, i’ll make sure of it,” jaehyun says in a tone so reassuring that your worries are instantly washed away in an instant, long forgotten.

you two stay like that for a while, the time seeming to slow down. it was just so warm and comfortable that neither of you wanted to pull away. it was like you two were engulfed in your own worlds. that was until a phone started ringing, causing the warmth to leave you both. jaehyun let’s go of you, just clinging onto your hand as he reaches for his phone.

“it’s my manager,” he whispers. “yo-you should answer it then, i’ll go sit down,” you say but he tells you, it’s fine. you hear a male on the other line, and you were only able to hear him because of how loud he was screaming into jaehyun’s ear. from the looks of it, it seems he was scolding jaehyun for not being at his home so he could pick him up for a schedule.

you glance at jaehyun, the man drove all the way to see you despite having such a busy schedule. the action warmed your heart. you unconsciously, but consciously inched forward, tippy-toeing and placing a kiss on his cheek. the sudden action causing jaehyun to freeze mid-sentence.

“i-i’ll be there soon, bye,” he says, not bothering to wait for his manager to respond before he hangs up. “w-what was that for?” he asks, touching the place where your lips touched. you suddenly felt your face getting warm with embarrassment.

and when you didn’t say anything, jaehyun just smiled, this time he inched towards you. you close your eyes, only to feel his lips touch your forehead. you flutter them open, bringing your hand to touch where his lips touched. however before you could say anything, he started walking to your door.

“our next date, friday. i’ll see you then,” he says, leaving before you could even bid him goodbye. and when the door shuts, your legs give in, falling to the floor. you kissed him, he kissed you. oh god, this has to be a dream!

now than ever before you were wishing a day came sooner. friday. the day your dreams and wishes came true.

friday. the long awaited day. you stood outside your apartment complex, waiting for his car to arrive. this time you were the early one.

you were just too excited for today, too nervous to fall asleep last night. as you thought of the possibilities of today, you notice his car pulling up. a smile spreads across your face.

you begin walking as jaehyun gets out of his car. “you’re early,” jaehyun comments. “and you’re late,” you replied back even though there were still a couple minutes left until your official meet up time.

jaehyun smiles, as his eyes begin to wander your body. noting the way his eyes looked at you, up and down, down and up. and noting the way his tongue darts out to lick his lips, like a predator looking down on its prey.

“you look gorgeous today,” he comments when his lustful state leaves him. unlike the other dates, you dressed fancier as jaehyun recommended you to. so you’re wearing a long white, spaghetti strap silk dress. your heels hidden underneath. not to mention your make-up and hair were also top notch today.

“thank you,” you shyly said, pink adorning your cheeks. “you look handsome as well.” on the other hand, jaehyun abandoned the baggy jeans for some black dress pants and a designer top. his outfit eliciting obscene thoughts to run through your head. god, what if you were the predator…

“thank you, are you ready to go now? i don’t know how much longer i could wait,” he says as he holds your hand to drag you to the passenger seat of his car. “well, i can’t wait either,” you reply, smiling as you sit down.

as he begins to drive, you, like you’ve always done, ask him where he was taking you. however just like the first date, he is insistent on keeping it a surprise, and you know he won’t budge one bit. changing the topic, you ask jaehyun on how his week has gone. in which he talks about a photoshoot he had the other day for a well-known magazine. “i’ll make sure to buy your magazine,” you tease. “oh god, no, no… they’re not very… friendly,” he says as he tries looking for the right word.

you raise a brow at his comment, inquiring him more but he just tells you, “you’ll see.” before you knew it you’d arrived at the date destination. “where are we?” you ask as you look out the window. you were at a house, a big two-story house.

“my home,” he says, getting out of the car. his home?! you thought. “why are we here?” you ask, taking the hand he offered you. “on a date of course,” jaehyun says enthusiastically. “wh-what do you mean?”

“you’ll see,” jaehyun said, smirking as he began to drag you into his home. you very briefly take a look around his home. the vibe befitting of jaehyun, his home almost feeling like your home. you then crash into a hard wall, causing you to wince. however it wasn’t a wall, it was jaehyun’s back. “s-sorry!” you apologized, you were too distracted looking around his home that you didn’t notice he had come to a halt.

he turns around, no distance separating you two. “close your eyes,” he whispers. you obliged, closing them shut. your ears helped map out what was happening. you hear his footsteps going behind you until you feel his hands on both your shoulders. “i got you,” he whispers into your ear, his hot breath distributing throughout your body. jaehyun helps you walk forward, stopping you and you feel his hands disappear, his footsteps getting further away.

you call him, “j-jaehyun?”

“open your eyes, my love,” you hear him yell.

you begin to open your eyes slowly, your breath stopping as you take in the view in front of you. dimly lit lights scattered around the middle of his yard, with cushions and a small table in the middle with all sorts of foods and beverages. to others it might’ve seemed simple, but to you it meant everything.

you descend the steps until your feet touch the grass. no wonder he asked me to dress nicely, you thought. when you reach jaehyun, he takes your hand to walk you to your seat. you sit down on your cushion, watching as jaehyun walks to his.

“so, do you like it?” jaehyun says, a hint of nervousness evident in his tone. “like it? i love it!” you replied excitedly. jaehyun lets out a relieved sigh, his hand going on top of yours as his thumb caresses it gently. “that’s a relief, i spent all day trying to perfect it,” he says. you smile, “you did an excellent job, jae.”

“j-jae?” he asks. you nod, “you’re nickname, you don’t like it?” “n-no! i do, just caught me by surprise is all,” he continues as he smiles widely. “want something to drink?” he then asks. when you nod he then asks, “would you like some wine, or something else?”

“hmm, i’ll take you up on the wine,” you respond. his hand lets go of yours, to get the wine as he tries to open it and pour it in both glasses. “cheers,” you raise your glass, clinking with jaehyun’s. the taste of the wine was smooth, you liked it.

as you two continued downing the wine, the talk continued. making each other laugh and smile, enjoying each other's company. “are you hungry?” he asks mid-conversation. “a little,” you reply. “i got us some take out from this italian restaurant, i hope you like it,” he says as he serves you the food.

you take a bite of the pasta, moaning in delight. “it’s delicious,” you say, stuffing yourself in more pasta. jaehyun smiles, watching you enjoy yourself with the food. just looking at you made him full. however the noises you were making… that elicited explicit images across his mind. he felt his pants tighten.

“jaehyun?” you call out for him when he seems to zone out. “y-yes,” he says, coughing. “are you not going to eat?” you ask as you note he doesn’t have food on his plate. he shakes his head, “too nervous to eat, help yourself.”

oh and you do, the food being the most delicious italian food you’d ever tried. when no more could be eaten, jaehyun takes your hand again. “can you follow me for a moment,” he asks, almost hesitant and nervous. “yes, of course.”

both of you get up, hand in hand as you follow him. you walk a couple of steps before he stops. turning to face you, he grabs both your hands. now you’re nervous.

“y/n,” he calls your name, softly. “yes, jae?” the anticipation killing you. he squeezes your hands, “i love you.” your heart stops.

“i’ve loved you since the first time we met. and every moment we’ve spent since then has been the greatest gift to my life, you are my greatest gift. there isn’t a moment where i don’t think about you, desire you, love you. it’s gotten to the point where i can’t handle it anymore,” jaehyun confesses.

you’re at a loss of words, speechless at the words coming out of his mouth. your vision blurs, “i-i love you too,” you weakly say as tears begin streaming down your face. he lets go of your hands to bring his to wipe your tears away. his heart melts at the sight, you’re just too beautiful, too perfect for him. how could he ever let you go?

“y/n… wherever you go, that’s where i’ll follow. i’ma love you every night like it’s the last night. if the world was ending, i’d wanna be next to you. and if our time on earth was through, i’d wanna hold you for a while, and die with a smile.”

his words only made you cry all the more. you lunged on him, arms wrapping around him as you cried. he whispers to you so gently, so softly, “my love, will you be my girlfriend?”

you clutched him tighter, “yes! i’ll be your girlfriend, i’ll be your everything and anything. just as you’ve helped me, i want to do the same for you. i love you, i love you jaehyun.”

jaehyun too hugged you tighter, “i love you more, and i promise to protect you from  now on… i’ll shield you from those who hurt you.” he lets go to get ahold of your face, cupping it. “after all my love, you’re the woman i fell for.”

you melt at his words, tippy-toeing on your feet as you wrap your arms around his neck. you didn’t need to think twice before your lips found themselves on his. what was supposed to just be a delicate and gentle kiss evolved into something deeper, intense, and passionate.

jaehyun’s hands held you as if to not let go. his lips molding into yours so perfectly, you’ve never felt this way about a kiss before. however before it could get even more heated, he departs. both of you panting, eyes lustful, hungry.

“let’s go inside,” jaehyun says breathlessly, picking you up so easily. your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you inside and onto the second floor.

⋆⁺✧˚ · .₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆₊˚ෆ

in a blink of an eye, you’d made it into jaehyun's room and onto his bed with your dress, heels, panties, and bra scattered somewhere inside. you two, too eager, began tearing each other's clothes off, craving for one another.

his hands couldn’t resist your curves, your soft skin. “you’re even more beautiful underneath,” jaehyun comments as he traces random patterns on your stomach. your legs closed, but your cunt needy. “you gonna be a good girl and let me touch you?” he asks in a low, deep voice. his hands coming to your knees, his lips kissing your legs.

“open up for me, my love,” he says as he looks up at you whilst he kisses your leg. this was so hot, you couldn’t resist. you slowly open your legs, your aching cunt coming into full display. you watch as jaehyun’s eyes get darker, something washing over him. he tugs on your thighs, pulling you closer. your breath hitched as you felt his fingers ghost around your pussy, you clenched around nothing.

“p-please,” you whimper, not being able to take this any longer. jaehyun’s eyes landing on you, “please what darling?” he asks as if to test you. “yo-your fingers… please put them… in-inside,” you shyly asked, pleading to feel him finally touch you where you most needed it.

jaehyun smirks, finding you so fucking adorable as you begged him to practically finger-fuck you. he reaches over, smashing his lips onto yours. you tasted so delicious, already becoming so addicted to you. however you had no time to focus on the kiss as you felt his fingers teasingly stroke your pussy. you moan into his mouth when his thumb rubbed on your clit.

his lips leave yours, making their way down. biting, sucking, kissing, and licking all the way from your jaw to the valley of your breast. trailing his lips to one of your tits, he sucks around your nipple, tongue flickering as he bites down. it wasn’t until he marked your tit up before he moved to the other one, repeating his actions. all the while you tried to keep your voice down by biting roughly onto your bottom lip.

“it’s alright darling, let your voice out. there ain’t no one here besides you and me, and you best believe i wanna hear my name coming out of that sweet mouth of yours,” he says before departing from your tit with a pop. satisfied seeing the marks on your tits, he moves his head to where his fingers continue to tease you.

he watches your face twist when his fingers finally enter you. two digits, inside you fitting so snug around your gummy walls. “well would you look at that,” jaehyun groans, taking his fingers out. “look at how wet you are just from some kissing and tit sucking.” you watch him, eyes-on-eyes, as he brings those two fingers to his mouth. he eats your essence off his fingers, groaning in satisfaction at your taste.

“you taste so sweet, so delicious i could eat you all night- no, all my life long.” once he feels he’s gotten every drop of you off his fingers he shoves them back inside you. the sudden intrusion, shocking you that you arch your back. he scissors his fingers inside you, trying to open your tight cunt up but to no use. you still clench around his fingers, the pleasure fulfilling. he reaches you so deep as he fucks his fingers into you, trying to learn and find your pleasure points. you became a map, one he must find his way around in order to find the prized treasure.

“s-so deep!” you yell out when you feel his fingers grasp at your g-spot. he’s got you now, increasing his pace as he continues hitting that spot. your pussy’s squelching noises echoing throughout the room along with your moans. feeling yourself grow closer to coming, your walls clench around his fingers that weren’t stopping their ruthless fucking. adding his other thumb into the mix, he shoved it into your mouth. “suck,” he says roughly and a bit impatiently.

your eyes look at him, as you sucked on his thumb and swirled your tongue around it. a low curse leaves his lips as he takes his thumb out of your mouth to bring it to your clit. using the wet thumb to freely rub against your clit, sometimes bringing his other finger into the mix so he could pinch the bud.

“f-fuck, y-yes! just- just like that j-jae, ye-yes baby~” you moan, the pleasure consuming you, so close to bringing you crumbling down.

“cum on my fingers my love, i know you could do it, i feel you,” jaehyun says, trying to get his words to send you tipping over the edge. and god does it work, you came hard around his hand, arching your back and rolling your eyes til you almost saw white. nonetheless jaehyun didn’t stop, continuing to fuck his fingers in knuckles deep into your pussy. the over-stimulation, erupting smaller orgasms from you.

“s-so good,” you breathlessly say when he finally stops. his fingers coming back to his mouth where he licked his fingers, swirling his tongue around. jaehyun truly couldn’t get enough of the taste of you. “you’re so good,” he says, bringing his lips onto yours again. you can faintly taste yourself on his lips as he kisses you. his tongue, wanting to enter in which you let it. heatedly kissing, you find yourself beginning to grind against his boxers. you feel the hard, thick cock against your wet cunt.

“w-want you,” you say in between the kiss. jaehyun halts, “me or my cock?” you stay quiet, not knowing what to say. “b-both,” you decide on truthfully answering. jaehyun smirks at this response, leaning back and getting off the bed. you sit up, watching the man as he takes his boxers off. your mouth falling slightly open, nearly drooling at the sight.

he was big, girthy, and aching. you note the residue of pre-cum coming out of his red tip. “don’t stare too much, it’ll be yours soon,” jaehyun says as he comes back onto the bed. your breath hitches when he’s only a couple inches away. he slides his cock between your folds, rubbing himself on you, gathering your juices around his cock.

“i forgot to buy condoms, so we’ll just need to do this for now-” jaehyun explains before you interrupt him. “i-it’s fi-fine! i-i’m on the pill,” you say, getting rather shy at the end.

“shit, i swear you're going to be the death of me,” jaehyun says before grabbing onto his cock. his tip almost enters you before he stops, “ready?” you nod, needing him to enter you now. jaehyun slowly pushes his tip inside, feeling as you tightly wrap around him. “re-relax a bit for me baby,” he softly says. however his words didn’t help, you couldn’t relax around his cock so he decided to distract you by kissing you once more. getting so engulfed in the kiss, you don’t worry and start loosening up, allowing his cock to slowly but surely enter you.

when he parts a string of saliva connects both your mouths. jaehyun looks at your cunt which has now swallowed him. “s-so hot, so tight, fuck,” he curses when he sees the bulge in your stomach. reaching to grab your hand so you could feel him. “fe-feel me? right here,” he says. your eyes widened, he was reaching you deep.

“i’m gonna start moving, hold on,” he warns you. you take up on his warning, wrapping your arms around his neck. he plants a kiss on your forehead before he slides out only to then slide back in. it starts off slow, getting adjusted to one another, testing the waters. however, you had other plans.

“f-faster… please jae, fuck me faster~”

this knocks every last bit of jaehyun’s self control, logic, gentleness, and everything sweet out the window. replaced with a rougher, uncontrollable jaehyun. lifting one of your legs over his shoulder, while the other is pressed down against your chest he starts pounding into you. in the way you begged him to, his cock reaching you even deeper than his fingers. you could almost feel yourself close to coming already. you clench tightly around his cock, jaehyun taking this as a signal you were close to coming.

“it’s al–fuck--alright my-my love, cum around my cock. let me feel you whither around me,” he moans as he feels you clench around him when he ruthlessly thrusts into you. the fucking was so intense, your mind became dazed. all you could think about was his cock, the way he looked down at you with those eyes of his.

“ev-ever since i saw you in th-that dress, i’d wanted to bend y-you over and devour you, my love,” jaehyun says. the slapping of his balls against your ass echoing the room, along with the moaning of both of you. he tightens his grip on your thigh, pulling you body closer, deeper. maneuvering his thumb back onto your clit he starts abusing the now swollen bud again, whispering praises. you felt his cock twitch as your orgasm came crashing out of you.

your body shuddering, gasping for air as you were completely spent. his cock still fucking into you, his hands no longer on your legs or clit but on your waist. gripping onto the flesh tightly, fucking your body onto his cock. your voice loud, moaning as he overstimulated you. he leaned down, capturing your lips as his cock twitched before releasing his warmth. your walls painted white, womb filling up with all of him.

thrusting slower into you now before slipping out. your pussy feeling empty, dripping with cum. jaehyun couldn’t get enough of the sight in front of him, he wanted more. he needed you once more, you needed him once more.

“one more round, please my love,” jaehyun grunts. your fucked state, making him hard again. “p-please,” you beg. he groans before taking your body to gently and swiftly flip you around, your stomach against the mattress. “up baby, on your hands and knees,” his low, deep voice commands.

you weakly do as he says, your body is practically like jelly. from behind, jaehyun feels your ass. he fondles it, loving the way it feels. slap. “ah-“ you shout in shock. the harsh slap against your ass, causing you to stumble forward.

“you like that? what a dirty girl,” jaehyun teases, feeling as his cock rubs against your slit again. his hands traveled to your hips, gripping them and slamming himself into your cunt. both of you letting out moans as you felt one another again. “still so tight for me, aren’t i luck?” you muttered back something incoherent, your brain scrambed as he fucks his cock into you faster, harder, intensely. he reached you so beautifully and effortlessly from behind.

you ached for more so you began throwing yourself back against him. jaehyun watches, stopping his thrusting to watch you cutely fuck back onto his cock. he curses himself, feeling his cock twitch, aching for its release.

you were oblivious to him not thrusting into you, finding yourself enthralled by the pleasure you were giving yourself. his cock, was made for you; he was made for you, the two of you made for one another. you continued for a while longer, turning your head behind to look at the man you love. your thrusting comes to a halt when you notice him just looking at you dangerously.

“wh-what?” you ask confused. drool escaping your lips, tears adorned your eyes. he leans in, “my baby so needy she doesn’t notice the show she’s been giving me,” he whispers before departing. his hands coming to slap your ass again on both sides. his action weakening your arms, you flop on the bed, your ass still sticking up. you hear a low, tsk, come out of his mouth before grabbing your arms, bringing them behind you. you’re lifted, he uses your arms to push you onto his cock.

jaehyun’s thrusting starts again, going insane whilst he also uses you to fuck agaisnt him. and with one brutal thrust of his cock inside you, you’re tipped over the edge. your third orgasm of the night exploding over you. you faintly hear jaehyun groan then curse in the background before he comes inside you once more, filling you all the more.

letting go of your arms, you instantly flop onto the bed. you’re spent, utterly fucked out of your mind. your body still trembling after all the aftermath of the mind-blowing sex you’d just had with jaehyun.

jaehyun too, collapsed onto your side. his arms wrapping around your body as he pulls you against him. he turns you to face him. using his hands to move the hairs stuck on your face. “good job baby, you did good,” he praises you. “i’ll clean you up in a bit, my love, just rest for now.” you feel his lips gently place a kiss on your forehead, fluttering your eyes shut. your breath calms, lulled into a deep sleep.

⋆⁺✧˚ · .₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆₊˚ෆ

you feel something hard pressing against your back. the feeling waking you up, the sun shining through the windows. you attempt getting up when you suddenly feel trapped by something heavy. you travel your eyes down to that something, an arm. you're confused for a brief moment before flashbacks of last night flow through your head. your face heating up, your cunt twitching.

in your attempt to lift jaehyun’s arm you feel the man stir behind you. “mmm, stay in bed for a while longer,” you hear him mumble against your ear. he sounded asleep, but his cock was not. his cock stood proudly against both your bodies. you feel his pre-cum wetting your back. this made your pussy ache, growing wetter. fuck. it only morning and you already want to get dicked down.

biting your lip, you hesitate whether or not to wake jaehyun up so he could help fulfill your desire. fuck it, you thought. using all your might, you get out of his embrace. turning him onto his back, you straddle him. the change in position, waking jaehyun up. he almost believes he’s still dreaming.

neither of you say a word, instead you crawl behind, in between his legs as you hold his cock. it felt rock hard in your hands, hot even. “fu-fuck,” jaehyun curses as you start jerking his cock. you watch his expressions carefully, eyes still on him as you lick up the tip. you dart your tongue around his tip, licking up his pre-cum.

your hands gripping the base, as you began taking him in slowly into your mouth. he was so big and girthy that you struggled in getting him fully inside your mouth, trying your hardest to breathe. you let out a moan around his cock when you feel his hand fist your hair. the moan sending pleasure throughout jaehyun’s body. your mouth was just as perfect as your sweet cunt.

you look up, eyes blurry with tears from taking his cock so deep. you kept your eyes on him as you continued bobbing your head, running your tongue along the shaft. his eyes close, throwing his head back. he fists your hair tighter, finding yourself enjoying it. your wet cunt dripping down your thighs. you increased your pace, hands working in tandem with your mouth as you continued bobbing your head. you felt him twitch inside your warm mouth. however, just as you thought you’d have him cum inside your mouth, he pulled your head back with the fisted hair he had around his hand.

you let out a whine, upset at the loss of having him cum inside your mouth. yet before he could say anything you hovered over his cock, rubbing his tip along your wet cunt. grabbing his cock, you begin sinking it inside you. the stretch feeling so good for both parties. neither of you getting accustomed to each other. your mouth falls open when you feel that he’s all inside, eyes wandering to his.

jaehyun was completely lost in the sight in front of him. the way he felt your sweet cunt felt around him was unbelievable. he grasps onto your hips, finger tips digging into your skin. he watches as you lift yourself up before slamming back down into him. jaehyun enjoyed watching his cock disappearing inside you, turning him on all the more.

“f-fuck, just like that,” jaehyun grunts. your hands on his chest, leaning forward as you throw your ass onto his cock, grinding your clit on him to get some stimulation. his hands travel to your ass, digging into the flesh before slapping one of your ass cheeks. then another, slap. slap. slap. the constant slapping of his hands on your ass could be heard around the room.

“keep riding my cock, my love,” jaehyun said, in a low sultry tone. igniting you, you continue. when he feels your pace falter, he helps you out. digging his fingers into your hips to dive you back on his cock. faster, faster; deeper, deeper.

a rough thrust or two later before you’re a trembling mess on top of him as your orgasm hits you. your lips attaching themselves onto his neck, lightly sucking on his skin. jaehyun still hasn't cum yet, spreading your ass as he dives into you roughly. his lips finding yours, moaning into your mouth when he finally came. his cock twitching inside you, making you feel all warm again.

“fuck, what a way to start the morning,” jaehyun says softly, pecking you on your temple. you giggle, “sorry, just can’t seem to get enough of you.” a chuckle erupted from his throat, “neither could i, it’s almost as if we’re made for one another.” to this you nod, resting yourself on his chest.

the two of you spending the day in bed together, not being able to keep your hands off each other. you two only get up to eat and use the bathroom. even showering didn’t stop him from taking you from behind. orgasm after orgasm, the two of you are completely inseparable. loving one another to the fullest.

“i love you so much my love,” jaehyun whispers when you two find yourselves collapsed on his bed again. you gently place a kiss on his lips, i love you so much more jae,” you muttered before falling asleep again in his warm embrace.

it’s been just over a week since you and jaehyun had officially started dating. not a single moment goes by where he doesn’t show his adoration for you, you two completely smitten with one another. he always makes time in his schedule for you, and you too try being considerate. after all, your boyfriend was a star, not just your star, but a world star.

today however was an important day, a day you and jaehyun have been dreading. the day you meet his manager. although jaehyun made sure to come clean to his company about your relationship with him, they insisted his manager meet up with you. jaehyun agreed under the condition he was there as well.

the date was set for today, so now you’re waiting on jaehyun’s couch for the two of them to come bursting in. the other day jaehyun had given you a key to his home so you could come inside whenever you wanted. your leg shook from nervousness, your mind wandering to stupid scenarios like him kicking you to the curb.

however you reassured yourself nothing of the sort was going to happen, after all they hadn’t told jaehyun he was to break-up with you the day he came clean to them. you take a deep breath in when you hear the door open. fuck. your stomach getting nervous, the food you’d aten wanting to make an appearance on jaehyun’s black fur rug.

you stand up just in time as jaehyun and a male besides him come walking in. he was slightly shorter than jaehyun, clad in casual clothes. “h-hello,” you nervously greet, bowing at the man.

“hello ms. l/n,” he greets you back. you're a bit puzzled at how he knew your last name. perhaps jaehyun told them, you thought as you tried shoving the useless thought aside. “no need to be so nervous my love,” jaehyun says, walking to your side. he’s oddly calm, sitting down. his manager takes a seat across from the two of you, you too take a seat besides jaehyun.

“i already said hello, but i have yet to introduce myself properly. hello, i’m jaehyun’s manager, lee dohwa,” his manager finally introduces himself. “nice to meet you mr. lee, i’m y/l/n,” you introduce yourself as well even if he already knew your name. “my girlfriend,” jaehyun adds, both you and his manager glare at him.

mr. lee clears his throat before speaking, “well it’s finally nice to meet you ms. l/n, your name has gone around the company quite a lot as of late.” you tense, growing nervous. “ah, no need to be so nervous. i’m not here to make you guys end things, nor is the company. we’re in understanding of the situation, jaehyun made that clear a few days ago when he told us,” his manager talks. you listen intently, nervousness washing away at the fact they really aren’t going to break you up from jaehyun.

“which led to the company asking jaehyun whether he wanted to go public, but the guy told us it was up to you to decide.” up for me to decide? you thought, turning to face jaehyun who just listened to the conversation. he looks up at you, bringing his hand to caress your cheek. “it’s true baby, it’s your word. if you want to go public, we’ll go public but if you don’t then we won’t,” he assures you. your heart melting at how much he cared for you, treasured you. it was a big decision to make, you thought long and hard about it. you tried finding pros and cons, eventually scrapping those off. you thought it’d be best to listen to what your heart wanted.

“i- i don’t want to go public,” you say with a bit of hesitation. you glance over at jaehyun to see his reaction only to find him smiling and mouthing, good job. “alright,” his manager says before continuing, “if that’s what you want, we’ll respect both your wishes. however you must still try and keep things under wraps and not get caught because then we’ll have no choice but to confirm the rumors.”

you nod, understanding the situation. “and if you ever change your mind, let jaehyun know and we’ll figure something out,” the manager clarifies. “got it, thank you so much mr. lee,” you sincerely thanked the man. he got up from his seat, “well, then since that’s out the way i have to get going.”

“leaving so soon?” you asked, following him as he walks to the door, jaehyun too follows. “yeah, i still gotta go back and report to the company. don’t worry jaehyun’s all yours for the day,” he says. you slightly blush at his comment, knowing what will happen once his manager leaves. as he grabs the doorknob he stops, turning back around. “ah, i almost forgot, could you get me water jaehyun?” he asks. jaehyun sighs, going back into his house to retrieve a water bottle for his manager.

in the meantime his manager takes the opportunity to get your contact information. “figured i’d ask you now that jaehyun isn’t around since i’d doubt he’d let you exchange information with me,” his manager explains as you type in your phone number. you hand him back his phone, “i’ll have you send me your email later too, the company will probably need it.” you nod as jaehyun comes back. he hands him the water bottle before he finally opens the door. mr. lee bids you both a final goodbye before leaving.

you close the door as jaehyun’s arms wrap around your waist. he tenderly kisses an exposed part of your neck. “what do you want to do now?” you ask. you feel him smile against your neck, “i know of a couple ways to spend the rest of the day, maybe even night.” god, this guy was going to drive you even more insane.

and so for the rest of the entire day you spent it with one another entangled, desiring one another. unable to let the other go, the two of you feeling at home.

“our love’s being the only war worth fighting for.”

10 months later.

d-day. the long awaited encore concert, jaehyun’s encore concert. after almost 10 months of touring the world, it’d finally come to an end today. it felt like it was just yesterday when his company announced he’d be touring. not to mention it was almost a month after you two started dating, that he would start his tour. as a consequence, you two refused to leave each other’s embrace, he devoured you whenever he could as he wouldn’t be able to see you for weeks on end. however you still encouraged him whenever you could, time difference being the only thing making things hard. at times it’d resort to the two of you having phone sex, you two truly were unable to live without the other.

nevertheless, whenever he’d be back, he would make time in his schedule to take you out on dates. the two of you putting up quite the disguise of face masks and caps every time. throughout the months you felt the relationship grow stronger with each passing day. you were the happiest you’d ever been and it was all because of jaehyun, your star.

today however finally marked the final of his tour and his manager encouraged you to come and watch again. you were hesitant at first, fearful of being found out. yet he had the genius idea of disguising you as staff. and so now here you were, entering the building with a staff badge hanging around your neck. you perfectly blended in, going unsuspected. mr. lee finds you, greeting you and walking you to where you were going to reside.

a vip lounge.

when you got there you noticed two familiar faces, jaehyun’s parents. you’d met them not too long after you met with his manager. they welcomed you so openly and warmly it almost made you cry. they treated you as if you were their own daughter.

“y/n!” his mother excitedly says your name when she sees you. you call for her too, being embraced into a hug. when you let go you bow to his father who stood beside his wife. “y/n, nice seeing you again,” he greets you. “you as well mr. jeong,” you politely greet.

“y/n,” jaehyun’s manager calls your name behind you, stopping the joyful reunion. “you’ll stay here, pose as staff and guide them backstage when the concert is concluded,” he explains. you nod, understanding the responsibility you now bear. he bids you three a goodbye before quickly exiting. being a manager sure it tuff, you thought.

“how are you!” jaehyun’s mother continues. and as you answer her the two of your converse into some deep conversations. the hour went by quickly while being in the company of his parents since before you knew it the lights turned off, fans screamed and stood up with their phones out, trying to get a glimpse of the star who was about to go onstage.

you watch intently, seeing him, your boyfriend, being lifted up stage. his presence radiating, illuminating, you almost didn’t wanna blink, afraid you’d miss even just a second of him. he starts singing, you hear as his fans sing along and wave their lightsticks. It warmed your heart, you secretly thanked them for supporting your beloved.

it wasn’t your first time seeing jaehyun in a concert, but you still couldn’t get over the fact that the stage seemed like jaehyun’s home. it was a place where he stood out so beautifully, belonged in. he made you so goddamn proud. and as you continued watching the concert, you found yourself singing along, yelling, and crying— you resembled a fangirl. you honestly didn’t mind, after all you were his number one fan.

as the concert was coming to a close, jaehyun was giving his ending ment. he continuously thanked everyone and everything. however that wasn’t what captured your attention, it was what he said last that not only captured yours but the fans attention as well.

“and very soon, i have an announcement to make. i can’t spoil anything yet but just know i hope that you all can continue to support me,” jaehyun said, smiling so wide his dimples were on full display on the screens. to the fans, they might’ve thought it was an announcement of a comeback, but to you, you knew it was something entirely different.

it all happened a couple months ago during one of the times jaehyun had taken you out. you felt the urge to talk to him about this pending thought. “wh-what if we go public?” you abruptly say in the car as he drove you two to his house. he’s stopped at a red light, the perfect opportunity. he glances over at you, his hand squeezing yours. “it’s whatever you want darling, i’ve told you… wherever you go, that’s where i’ll follow,” he reassures you, taking your hand to kiss your knuckles. “i-i want to go public, well not now but maybe soon, perhaps when we make a year,” you say, his eyes tearing away from yours when the light turns to green. “alright my love, we’ll do that,” he replied back, a smile tainting his face.

though you two haven’t talked about it since then, you both know that your two year anniversary is right around the corner. it made you happy knowing he still remembered. he always seemed to know everything, he truly was the perfect man you could’ve ever asked for.

he sings two more songs before the concert officially comes to an end, his tour finalizing. once he’s off that stage, you and his parents hurry backstage as you try avoiding running into any fans. luckily you two made it without a hitch. you find his manager in the halls, waiting for you three. he then guides you to the lounge area where jaehyun later arrives in. he instantly bursts out smiling seeing all his beloved people gathered. he starts off by greeting his parents, hugging them and kissing them. jaehyun moves along to you, in which you immediately wrap your arms around his neck.

“you did amazing out there jae,” you whisper into his ear. “thank you my love, i could feel your presence and felt all the more motivated,” he says. you two depart from each other's embrace and instead give one another a loving peck on the lips.

the four of you relaxed for a while, until food and a cake came inside. “to celebrate,” mr. lee announces. everyone in there having a good time, you were having an amazing time. although the touch of jaehyun’s fingers on your thigh elicited you to think of other things. your mind goes off the rails. however you knew what jaehyun was doing here, what he was trying to tell you. you glances over at him beside you, only to catch him doing the same. a small smirk spreads across his face, your panties growing wet.

⋆⁺✧˚ · .₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆₊˚ෆ

you two made it to his car before he began tearing your pants off you. earlier as the, congrats-on-a-good-tour, party had been wrapping up, jaehyun decided to excuse you two. he insisted on driving you two back home, which his manager allowed. he knew he wouldn’t win against jaehyun. and so when you two said your final goodbyes to his parents, he practically had you running to the parking garage underneath the venue. he told you to get into the backseat in which he then joined you as well.

now you find him tearing your clothes away from your body, throwing it to the passenger seat. you laid in the backseat, naked with nothing but your cute red panties. jaehyun licked his lips before going in between your legs. he pries them open, each leg on one of his shoulders. he kisses your you inner thighs, nibbling on the skin.

when he comes face-to-face with your pussy he darts out his tongue where he kitty licks you through your underwear. you bite down on your bottom lip as he plays with your clit. your panties growing even wetter, mixing along with him, eventually he finally removes your panties, stuffing them in his pocket before going back down.

with both his thumbs, he spreads your pussy lips apart. tongue licking you up so slowly you felt yourself clench around nothing, you ached. he flicked your clit before suddenly intruding his tongue inside you.

you moaned loudly, arching your back off the car seat as his tongue fucked itself in you. opening you up against your gummy walls, reaching you so deep. the wet noises infiltrated the car. your hips began grinding against him, one of your hands flying to his hair. you urge him deeper, he moaned from the action, sending sensations of pleasure to course throughout your body.

jaehyun kept going at it with his tongue, his pace quick. he travels a hand to your tit. jaehyun groped it as he used his fingers to play with your nipple, pinching the bud hard, and causing you to moan. whilst he used his other hand to start playing with your clit. abusing the poor thing, and not too long after he takes his tongue out of you. you whine at the loss of sensation.

“it’s alright my love, i’ll let you cum soon,” he says before getting up and sitting against the car seat. “come here,” he says, eyes looking at you like a predator.

you waste no time in straddling his lap, his lips coming onto your to engulf you into a steamy kiss. tongues fighting one another, teeth clashing, and a little tug on your bottom lip. “ride me. take me like a good girl right here,” he says in a sultry tone.

you couldn’t afford to waste time, you quickly sunk yourself into his cock. you still couldn’t get used to his length, it took a bit for you to get accustomed. his hands gripped your hips, guiding you into his cock. he plowed you in and out, watching his cock disappear inside of you, exciting him. “shit, good girl. you’re my good girl aren’t yo—fuck—you,” he grunts when he feels you tightening around his cock. an indication you were close to reaching your high. from getting tongue-fucked, it left you desperate for your release.

jaehyun was no cruel man, he helped you reach your high with a pleasurable play on your clit. he pounded into you once before you’re orgams came washing over you. you throw your head back, tongue lolling out.

“fuck, so beautiful,” jaehyun mutters, his high not too far away. as he continues fucking into you, you cling onto him. your arms wrapped around him, your lips sucking on his neck, marking him. and with a slap to your ass, he came inside you. panting heavily, he finally stops. the windows fogging up, you’d hoped no one had seen you two. yet there was something so hot about being seen, the thought turning you on.

jaehyun felt you clench, he knew what you were thinking about, he always did. “you dirty girl, wishing everyone saw you being fucked by me,” he smirks. god, something about the way he talked to you, ignited you even more.

you whisper into his ear, “yes, so fuck me more jae~ let everyone see how much i love you.”

jaehyun felt as though he could die right now, by you and your words. he wastes no time giving you a nice good fucking, round after round until your two couldn’t no more, needing a bigger space. he finally decides to drive off, driving while he had his fingers in your sweet pussy, fucking their way inside you until you saw stars.

even as you made it through the front door he took you from behind, moving to the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and his bedroom. he took you wherever and whenever around his home. and once both you have had enough of one another, you’re lulled into a deep sleep.

jaehyun’s pov.

today was the day, our one year anniversary. i’d planned a big day for the both of us today, and right now i’m heading to pick her up. i’m stopped at a red light, my thoughts infiltrated with her and the year we’ve spent together.

not only was it our one year, but today i’d planned to propose to her. i clutched my unoccupied hand around the velvet box. i purchased the ring a while back, i knew i’d wanted to marry her. she was my everything, i couldn’t live without her, her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her beauty, her personality, her everything, the flaws. at times it felt like she and i were specially made for one another. destined beings meant to be with one another. she had become my greatest gift, and from that day a year ago, i knew i wanted to marry her, build a family with her, and be with her during my last dying breath.

and once i’d propose to her, i’d like to officially announce our relationship and marriage. today was going to be the perfect day. even the weather was in my favor, i couldn’t wait to see her reaction to the ring, her face when she-

crash. bang. slam.

red, my vision was painted red. glass scattered on the floor, i was paralyzed. my car had been flipped over. shit.

no, no, no this couldn't be happening right now. no, please god not now, not today. my mind thought of y/n, she was still waiting for me to arrive. i clenched my hand on the box, it still was in my hand. today was suppose to be our one year, the day i asked for her hand in marriage, the day we’d spend eternity today.

as if a twist of events, droplets of rain began dripping down my face. i could feel my eyes wanting to close. no, fuck, jaehyun stay awake, i thought. y/n is waiting for you, she is-

black, i saw black. the noises stopped, everything became silent. the last thing i saw was y/n, my love, my beloved, my soulmate. i wished i could’ve spent one last time with her, "right next to you y/n, right next to you."

you grew worried. jaehyun hadn’t arrived yet, he hadn’t even messaged or called you to tell you he was going to run late. not to mention something your gut told you something wrong happened. you couldn’t shake off this feeling. you even tried calling him, but to no avail. he wasn’t answering. and so you resorted to calling his manager, but he too did not answer.

you impatiently waited for something, but nothing came until the afternoon arrived. your phone begins to ring, you immediately retrieve it. it was jaehyun’s manager. you quickly answered, not bothering to let him talk first. “mr. lee, hi! have you heard from jaehyun? he hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts, please le-” you rant quickly, wanting to seek answers but are interrupted by a distraught mr. lee.

“y/n, i’ma need you to hear my carefully,” he starts off. your worry increasing and your gut twisting. “j-jaehyun’s in the hospital right now, if you can you should come before his surgery finishes.”

“s-surgery?” you ask, voice wobbling. “y-yes, this morning, i’m guessing on his way to pick you up, he was involved in a car accident, it was bad. jaehyun was unresponsive when paramedics arrived, but was still breathing. he had a pretty nasty cut to his head and the doctor advised to quickly operate on him,” mr. lee explained the situation.

you don’t even remember much after that. you screamed in agony, tears nonstop as they roll down your face. you quickly head over to the hospital, ignoring the herds of news stations reporting. it disgusted you, how could they when your beloved was barely holding up.

you rush to the front of the hospital, asking to let you see jaehyun but that’s when mr. lee steps in to let you go with him. you rush together outside the operating room where jaehyun was at. you shook as mr. lee continued telling you details of what had happened earlier that morning. it hurt you, you couldn’t believe it. today was supposed to be your one year anniversary, the day you two celebrated in harmony, in love, with one another. yet here you were, in a hospital, awaiting news of the conclusion of his surgery. you’d never cried this much in your life.

in the midst of it all, jaehyun’s parents had arrived as well. his mother completely distraught, embracing you as you two prayed for jaehyun’s successful surgery. it felt neverending, like years had been passing by. why were they taking so long, why, why, why. you couldn’t take this anymore, what if he… what if he didn’t… you couldn’t even finish the thought. no, you thought. he was going to make it, he was the strongest person you knew. he was the brightest star that shunned.

“i, i just woke up from a dream. where you and i had to say goodbye.”

an hour or two passed by again before the operating sign turned off and a doctor came out. you and mrs. jeong stood up from the floor. all of you greeting the doctor, standing around him as he started to explain in detail jaehyun’s injuries.

“luckily, nothing life-threatning, the surgery was able to go about successfully. though we’re not sure when he’ll wake up, i can guarantee everything went well. it’s a miracle he made it out alive, he truly is a strong one,” the doctor said as he glanced over at jaehyun's parents during the last part. you sighed in relief, finally being able to breath after getting confirmation he truly was alright. 

you all thanked the doctor, and thanked the heavens above that jaehyun had survived everything.

soon, a nurse came out informing you four that he’d been moved to a room and you all quickly rushed over there. your eyes watered again seeing the state he was in. it horrified you seeing all his injuries, small ones and most notably his head injury. you rush to his side, gently taking your hand in his. and you didn't know if it was just your imagination, but you swore you felt him tighten his hand around yours.

⋆⁺✧˚ · .₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆₊˚ෆ

it’s now been a little over a week since jaehyun’s accident and surgery. you’ve spent everyday by his side, sometimes staying the night. however his mother was growing worried for you and insisted you’d get some rest as well. you just didn’t want to not be by his side when he woke up. and so the days went on, you sat beside his bed. your hand on his, you stared at his face. you prayed and prayed for him to finally awaken, to open those eyes of his you adore so much.

the media was in a disaster the first couple of days, fans and nonfans too praying for his recovery. it came as a shock to everyone. they also arrested the person responsible, he had been under the influence when he crashed into jaehyun’s car. he was the one who ran the red light as jaehyun had just begun to drive.

you continue watching jaehyun when you notice his eyes move, they weren’t opening but they’d twitch. it was almost as if he was trying to open them. you got up, calling his name. your breath got caught in your system when you see him finally pry them open. he mutters something, but you don’t hear as you try calling for a nurse. when you come back you see him looking at you.

“j-jaehyun, is everything alright,” you ask. he doesn’t respond, he just looks at you as if he was trying to recognize you. “don’t worry, i already called a nurse the-” he interrupts you. the words coming out of his mouth, shocking. destroying you, changing your life.

“w-who a-are yo-you?” he asks, voice coming out a bit dry.

“wh-what do yo-you mean? jaehyun, it’s me, y/n… god, no. jaehyun please,” you begin to cry out. you’re refusing to believe what was unfolding, wishing it was some joke. the nurse comes in, seeing an awoken jaehyun and you crying.

you turn to her whisper so jaehyun wouldn’t hear, “h-he doesn’t remember me, wh-what’s wrong. pl-please.” she looks at you then at jaehyun. “ma’am, please calm down for a moment, i’ll go talk to the doctor first,” she says, but you already knew what was happening.

jaehyun had lost his memory, there was no denying that.

you don’t say a word to jaehyun anymore, instead you call mr. lee to inform him of what had just transpired. he tells you he’ll be there in no time. when he arrives, your still a crying mess. however another discovery was made.

“do-dohwa?” jaehyun asks, calling out for his manager. the two of you were shocked, none of this making sense. he remembered his manager, but not you. no, god this was worse. your heart broke to a million pieces. you could feel your world ending, right here, right now.

the nurse came back in, she informed you two that the doctor wanted to conduct a study on jaehyun to see what was going on. you two watched him being transported away. and your tears flowed more.

“h-he doesn’t re-remember me,” you cry out. his manager sits beside you, trying to reassure you, telling you perhaps this was just a temporary thing. that perhaps jaehyun was going to recover his memory soon, it wasn’t going to be anything serious.

yet all your hopes were crushed when the doctor came inside the room to talk to you both. jaehyun had fallen asleep. “he’s lost his memory, precisely memory of around 3 years,” the doctor informs. “is there a chance he could get it back?” mr. lee asks when you can’t even speak up anymore. “it’s hard to say, in most cases they do but there are also those other half who don’t,” the doctor answered. he asked you two if there were any more questions but you both didn’t ask anything more, too shocked by this new discovery.

when the doctor leaves, mr. lee gets up. he walks over to his backpack, opening it and retrieving a small bag. as he walks back to where you sat he hands you the bag. “wh-what’s this? you ask. “open it and you’ll find out,” he just says, it sounded so mysterious. however you do just that, opening the small bag, taking the object outside and into your hands.

a small velvet box.

your heart stops. could this be, you thought. you look up at mr. lee. “they found it in his hand when paramedics arrived, they told they had a hard time removing it from his hand,” mr. lee explained when you open the box. in the middle was the most gorgeous ring you’d ever seen. you couldn’t see anymore.

“it seems he was planning to propose to you,” mr. lee comments. you stayed silent, clutching the box tightly. a beat or two passes before you ask, “co-could you give us a minute.” mr. lee nods his head, stepping out to give you two some space. you get up from your seat and walk over to jaehyun. he was still fast asleep.

you grab onto his hand, tears continuously spilling out as you try gathering what to say to him. “th-thank you jaehyun. thank you for showing me love. thank you for allowing me to love you, for loving me. thank you for thinking of me even as you were dying. thank you for staying strong. thank you for existing. thank you for everything, my beloved.” you had so much to thank him for. “in the course of the year i spent with you, there was never a day i felt sad or regretful because i was with you, in fact that year was the best year of the entirety of my life.”

you let out a choked sob. “i don’t wanna say goodbye to you, goodbye to us. i wished we could’ve spent more time together, be right next to you. and if you ever get your memory back, just know i’d be waiting for you. but until then, our story will have to end here jaehyun.” you lean in to his kiss his cheek before departing. “i’ll love you for all eternity.”

you look at him for one last time before turning around. you’re about to open the door when you turn around again. “and jaehyun, yes i’ll marry you.”

+ + +

“if the world was ending, i’d wanna be next to you. if the party was over and our time on earth was through, i’d wanna hold you just for a while and die with a smile. if the world was ending, i’d wanna be next to you.” - die with a smile, bruno mars & lady gaga.

+ + +

© jhdyuiee

2024. 09. 15

final a.n: hey! you've reached the end of die with a smile, it was an emotional roller coaster. i cried writing the ending, it was truly heartbreaking. the story ended up being longer than i had anticipated, but nonetheless i felt it was necessary to include the falling in love to get a better understanding of the loving relationship. unfortunately though i’ve decided to make this a oneshot, so i won’t be making a part two as i feel it’d be best to leave it this way (sorry i have to leave it angsty). anyhow, i hope to all my readers you’ve enjoyed it, cried, and felt a whirlwind of emotions. thank you for your continuous support, i’ll be back in 2 weeks with my next release! look forward to what i have next! thank you once more & i love you all, stay safe out there! jiji out 🤍

[areislol]

“You really took care of us huh?”

►— pairings. genshin men x gn! creator! reader

►— warnings. nothing that i know of?

►— synopsis. albedo created a machine where it would bring back their creator, who was stuck in another world, back to where they belong. but instead of bringing you here to them, it brought them to where you were.

►— a/n. OMG IM SO SORRY FOR PUTTING THIS OUT LATER THAN EXPECTED 😭 instead of writing i was playing a game so that’s on me, i was also unbelievably tired this week, my fault! but it’s out now 🫶🏻

►— wordcount. 4.1k

✧ part one | ✧ part two | ✧ part three | ✧ part four | ✧ part five | more tba.. NAVIGATION

recommended to listen to: wave to earth - seasons or only - leehi

You never expected, not even in a million years or like.. in a lifetime for the video game characters coming alive and appearing in your room.

And they were handsome too, like, drop-dead gorgeous and the fact that they all respect and love you… You were surely the luckiest person alive right now.

These men also made your bank account cry, the amount of money you had spent on them—pulling for them (and losing many 50/50’s) and their weapon, grinding for hours trying to get their materials to ascend them and for their weapons, artifacts (you’d rather not talk about it) skills and EVERYTHING.

You put more work into making sure they’re all fully taken care of and put to the best of their ability than compared to your work. It was a bit concerning yes but, this game—the characters, we’re so comforting to you than anything else. So of course you poured your whole soul into the game and their characters.

(Also the fact that you also read fanfics about them and now they’re suddenly in your room does not help with your infatuation with them)

And so this brings you to where you were now, showing off their showcase at 10 in the morning.

“Oh wow Y/n! You worked really hard to make us strong.. no wonder why I felt so strong all of the sudden in one day..”

Aether watched in awe and amazement as you showed him his artifacts and his weapons with Venti, Pierro, Diluc, Kaeya, Tighnari and a few others hovering and peeking out from behind your chair, watching as you showed Aether’s build to everybody.

The rest were in your living room, eating breakfast. You had decided to eat breakfast after showing the people who wanted to know their builds.

For some reason their characters were still in the game despite really being in your world. You would have to ask Albedo about this later.

“What about me?” Diluc grumbled, trying his best to ignore the states he got. “What? I can’t ask Y/n something so simple?” Everybody shook their heads “no”.

Smiling, you replied. “Of course! I remember when your skin first came out I was all over it, I made sure to buy it to, did you like it? I think it looked beautiful on you.”

Diluc blushed at your words and nodded his head. “Mhm. I loved it, Y/n, thank you.” He stated, smiling warmly down at you.

You began to stroll through your characters until you found Diluc. “There you are—look at you! So handsome..” you sighed dreamily before snapping out of your trance and cleared your throat and began to go through his build.

Once you had finished showing Diluc and everybody his showcase, more people wanted to know about theirs and obviously you couldn’t say no so that’s how you ended up showing nearly everybody’s build and showcasing their skills and whatnot.

“And yeah! I did spend a lot of money but it was.. I guess worth it? I mean I’m glad you guys felt strong and all!”

Tighnari sighed and rested his hand on your desk. “We are all thankful, but seriously you didn’t have to spend all of the days you worked so hard for..” he explained, Diluc agreed with him.

The rest, too, didn’t want you to waste your hard work but then again for you to work so hard on and take care of them ignited something inside of them, so they couldn’t complain.

Before you could respond, a knock was heard. “Come in!” You shouted, turning around in your chair to see who it was.

Lyney entered the room and smiled at you (ignoring the others) “are you done? Your breakfast may get cold you know..” his gaze wanders off to the guys beside you. “Oh, and yours too.”

You could hear the scoffs coming from Diluc and Pierro. “Yeah I’m pretty hungry right now, and was it (Vietnamese) broken rice I smelt?” You asked, getting up from your seat and walking towards Lyney. He nods his head.

“Yeah, Aether found the recipe in a book and found the ingredients for it, lucky huh?”

As you smiled at him and began to walk out of your room followed by the others as Lyney cocks his head to the side—ordering them to get a move on and out of your room. “Come on, I bet you all are starving right now!”

Making your way to living room, you found everybody already done with their breakfast, with only a few plates placed on the coffee table for you and the others.

“Ouuuuh it looks absolutely delicious? Who cooked it?” You asked, sitting down on a pillow beside Xiao and Wriothesley.

“Thoma did with the help of Neuvillette and Childe, surprisingly.” Cyno responded, eyeing Childe from the corner of his eyes.

“Hey… what’s that supposed to mean?!” Childe yelled, pouting at Cyno before looking at you, betrayed and defeated.

You shrug your shoulders and began to dig in your food with Diluc, Venti, Pierro and Tighnari mirroring your actions, sitting down and eating their breakfast.

Childe began to make his way towards you and pushed the other men away that were behind you, this obviously annoyed them but before they could yell at him (start world war 3*) he had wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck.

“You don’t think I poisoned your food, do you?” He mumbled, even though you couldn’t see his face you knew he was pouting.

You shake your head no, not even reacting to his affection—you were somewhat used to it. “‘Course not, I don’t think you could ever actually.”

Childe smiled on your skin and tightened his grip on you. “Mhm. Thanks snookums.”

Everybody cringed (some nearly gagged) at the corny pet name. “Snookums, really? Out of all the petnames.. and it’s not the first time he called them that.” Kaveh whispered to Al-haitham who was obviously disgusted by the pet name.

“Mhm, it truly is disgusting..” Al-haitham whispered back, looking away from the ginger.

Childe rolled his eyes at their reactions and continued to hold you in his arms, Xiao holding back his urge to tackle him right there and then but you were in his arms so he couldn’t, because if he did you would get harmed and he would rather die than hurt you.

While you were eating your breakfast, you grabbed the remote and began to go through the channels—animal documentary, no.. news, yes. Setting down the remote on the table you listened closely to the news.

You weren’t the type to listen to the news but today was an exception, because you just felt like it. “What’s that?” Ayato asked, eyes ogling at the news reporter in the middle addressing the weather.

“Oh-“ “how does she know the weather so precisely?”

“Because, she is a news reporter, she reports on the weather and gives us all of the latest news about whatever.”

The sounds of them “oooh”ing and “aah”ing could be heard from all around you. With Al-haitham and Dainsleif just giving a small “mhm.”

You spend the next few minutes just eating breakfast and watching them all eye the TV and listen closely to the woman. This was.. interesting to them, they had never experienced this before.

Finally you were done eating breakfast, you were the last one to finish so as you began to wash your dish, you looked back and found Neuvillette behind you.

“Oh- god!” Your body jolted as your heart rate spiked up. “You scared me!” You said, sort of breathless.

Neuvillette sends you an apologetic look and apologies. “I’m so sorry for scaring you like that.. I apologize. I should’ve told you beforehand..” his brows furrowed, he looked extremely guilty it was eating your heart away. You couldn’t just not forgive him!

“It’s really okay Neuvillette! I just got a little scare was all..” you laughed at his scared face and turned back around to wash your dish. “What did you want?”

There was silence at first, Neuvillette didn’t respond, there seemed to be a nervous and awkward tension between you two.

“Neuvillette..? Did you want something?” You repeated, placing your dish in the dish rack before washing the other utensils, still awaiting his response.

“I-..” Neuvillette pauses, cheeks slightly tinted with red. “I uhm. I wanted to..” all of the sudden Neuvillette suddenly pulls you in a hug from behind, his arms awkwardly wrapped around your waist.

You were caught off guard by his action but you already knew all of them were touch-deprived and or just wanted to be next to you all the time.

“What’s the matter?” You asked, letting him embrace you in his warm arms from behind. “When I saw Childe hugging you I just.. felt something weird. I wanted to, lord forbid, push him and take his place.”

His words caught you off guard causing you to laugh abruptly and drop the utensils in the sink, a loud "CLUNK!" could be heard. "Oh whoops.. any who uh- Neuvillette are you.." you turn around and raise your brow, smirking up at him.

"Am I what?"

"Are you jealous~" your teasing voice made his heart skip a beat, his eyes focused on you, brows furrowing. "Me? Jealous? I don't know what you mean." Neuvillette sighed, his grip on your waist tightened.

You eyed him and slowly nodded your head. "Mhm.. sure.." Neuvillette peeks his head to the side and spots the utensils still unwashed. "Would you like me to clean the rest? You could go rest and bond with the rest."

Turning your head back around to look at the utensils that laid in the sink. You hummed for a few seconds before responding—"why don't we both clean them? You wanted to be with me right?"

Neuvillette nods his head, offering you a smile. You two began to wash the dishes together with Neuvillette standing beside you, after a few minutes all the dishes were on the dish rack, water dripping off down into the sink.

"All done! Now let's go join the others" you excitedly hummed, grabbing a hold of Neuvillette's arm and walking over to where the rest were.

Kazuha smiled and waved his hand at the both of you, once spotting you with Neuvillette. "You're back! What do you want to do now?"

You sit down on the end of the couch and sighed. "I'm not sure.. I do need to clean my house though, its been a while since I last cleaned it." ever since the men appeared in your room your house has.. sort of been trashed.

Not entirely trashed (Thoma, Kazuha, Diluc, Tighnari and Al-haitham kept the house clean) but still, you really needed to do a deep clean—ever since you've bought a house it really has been a hassle to keep everything in place as you were still in college and had to multi-task.

The mention of cleaning your house definenetly perked some heads up. "Cleaning? I can help!" Thoma offers, eyes shining with excitement (yes he loves cleaning and cooking and everything domestic, he IS the male wife).

"Me too!" "me three, I can help as well!" others chimed in as well, Childe stood up and raised his hand. "I will be the biggest help, don't worry Y/n! What's the biggest job I can do?"

Everybody groaned at the ginger's words and shook their heads in disappointment. Giving his words a thought, you hummed and put on your thinking face.

"Hm.. well I would say cleaning every single crevice you know.. the nook and crannies." you replied, smiling at Childe. He immediately grabbed a duster and set off to clean single crevice.

"I'll wipe the surfaces and all." Al-haitham states, getting up and grabbing some wipes before doing his thing.

"I'll organize your clothes Y/n! Oh and ours too"

"I'll go mop the floors."

Soon, you pretty much gave everybody a role to do (or they just gave themselves the role) and they all set off to do their jobs. Honestly, this had to be one of the best days ever—your house was going to be squeaky clean and plus you get to see them doing domestic chores.

"If you guys need any help just ask me okay?" you mentioned, dusting the books on a shelf. A collective "yes ma'am!" could be heard. They were so respectful it made you fold.

After what felt like hours of cleaning (it was, approximately 4 hours of cleaning) you flopped down on the couch along with a few others and heaved a great sight.

"Good job everybody!! the house looks so much cleaner now..." you sighed, chest heaving up and down. You were all tired, apart from Thoma, Tighnari, Al-haitham and Albedo, they still had energy left.

As you got up from the couch to fetch a glass of cold water, you got a fright from seeing Gorou sitting at your feet, looking up at you with puppy-dog eyes.

"Gorou? What's wrong?" you asked, your heart melting at the sight of his ears pressing flat against his head. Gorou stared up at you—his eyes glistening.

He inches closer to you, his arms wrapping around your legs. "What. Is. He. Doing." Childe whispered to Pantalone, eyeing Gorou with... some disgust. Pantalone shrugs. "Lord knows what."

"Uhm, If I may ask Y/n.. Do you think I did a good job today? For uh.. cleaning the house."

Your brows furrowed in confusion as he asked the question. What does that even have to do with anything.. "Yes, you have, why?" you questioned, watching Gorou lower his gaze to the floor.

Everybody watches as the scene unfolds, they were confused, scared, worried, but more so confused.

"Could I get a head-pat?" Gorou asked quietly, his eyes still focused on the floor, his head lowered as if to invite you to pat your head. Was he asking for a head-pat (some kind of reward) for his hard work?

Nodding your head, you began to pat his head softly, enjoying how soft his hair was, your hands would occasionally caress his ears and my god were they super soft!! Heat rushed to Gorou's cheeks as he realized you had no intention of stopping. Not that he was complaining.

"Gorou.. did you know your hair is very soft? Like, unbelievably soft! I could touch it all day if I could.." you exclaimed, if Gorou allowed you, you would definenetly be running your fingers through his hair furiously because it was just way too soft.

You wondered if the other's hair were soft too, I mean, all of theirs's looks soft, Neuvillette and Ayato's looked soft and silky. You should go look for an excuse to touch their hair soon..

As everybody watched Gorou enjoy his head-pats, they all eyed him with jealousy (if you look closely you can clearly see fume coming out of their ears right now), wishing that they were in his position—receiving head-pats from you, what a dream. And they were sure to make it come true.

"Ahem, dearest Y/n, don't you think that I too, did a fantastic job in scrubbing the shower too?" Kaeya sighs dramatically, sliding down and sitting next to you, batting his pretty eyelashes at you.

You turned to face him, pursuing your lips. "Well.. I mean.. yeeeessss..?"

It was a bit confusing after that, Kaeya asked for you to pat his head as well, saying that he "deserved it" (which he did) but then after that the others started to ask for some head-pats too. So in the end you had to give everybody a head-pat, it was very time consuming.

Soon, it was 1 pm—it was time for lunch. Time has gone by so fast with them, you (unfortunately) stop petting Al-haitham's hair and stand up from the couch.

"I'll go make some lunch now okay? Something simple like maybe a sandwich or something, is anyone hungry?"

While a few replied with "I'm hungry" some replied saying that they weren't hungry and would eat a snack of some sort. You began to grab out the ingredients to make a simple grilled cheese sandwich.

You made sure that the men weren't allergic to anything beforehand, you would definenetly not be having beans around Itto at all, while you were busy making everybody sandwiches, Zhongli sat on the chair behind the kitchen counter, watching your every move.

It was sort of uncomfortable, yes, but you didn't really mind at all. You were used to their curious stares after all.

"Zhongli, would you like to be the first one to try it out? I want to see if I need to add anything or fix anything up."

This wasn't your first time making sandwiches but still, you were positive they weren't used to your (earth) sandwiches so why not make Zhongli your taste-tester?

Zhongli nods his head, giving you a warm smile in the process and god was he so handsome. "Of course, It would be an honor to be the first to taste your sandwich." and with that you placed the plate – with the grilled cheese sandwich on it – on the counter, waiting for Zhongli to take his first bite and his opinions on it.

As Zhongli grabs the sandwich and takes the first bite, munching on it. You weren't nervous at all, watching him eat your sandwich. Okay that was a lie you were totally nervous. I mean making a grilled cheese sandwich? Nothing big! But the fact that Zhongli, a handsome, fine, fancy man is sitting right across from you and eating your sandwich is!!!

Studying his face got you nowhere. His face was as always, nonchalant and somewhat still, after swallowing, he looked up and set his gaze on your face.

"It's... amazing! I've never had anything like this before, a simple grilled cheese sandwich I've had but to have it made from you and in your household, in your world, makes it all the better. The taste is also immaculate, truly other worldly. Quite literally."

You crack a smile at his joke at the end and breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god.. so it's okay, thanks Zhongli!" you thanked him before going back to making some more before finally setting them all down on the kitchen table, counter, and coffee tables (and some other places as well since those all of them can't fit in three spots).

Tighnari had noticed that you had a couple of plants in your home, they were.. not in the best condition, he had to say. But that was no problem! He could help you raise and take care of them.

"Say, Y/n. Please do not take any offense to this whatsoever but do you take care of your plants?"

The question was out of the blue, yes, and it did catch you off-guard for sure. "Oh- uh, my plants? Well the truth is I haven't really been taking care of them.. I mean I would love to but I'm very forgetful." You explained while smiling sheepishly, it was embarrassing after all.

Tighnari nods at your response and offers you help to which you obviously agree to! I mean who wouldn't? He would take care and nurture your dying plants? Deal!

Everybody began to eat lunch as for the ones who weren't hungry just lounged in your room, Al-haitham read a historical book that you haven't even finished reading (you only bought it because of you thought the cover was really vintage), Pierro stood in front of your window, staring out to the view of the skyscrapers and buildings. Albedo and Cyno were sitting on your bed in silence, waiting for you to finish eating and come back.

"What a total weirdo.." Cyno whispers to Albedo, eyeing the tall, old (and stinky, that's what they call him) fatui. Albedo simply glances at Pierro and looks back at Cyno, confused. "How so? I think it's totally normal to gaze out of the window, don't you think? I mean, the view is absolutely fantastic out there.. so many things we've never seen and don't you agree that the flowers that bloom down near the window looks absolutely-"

Cyno groaned as Albedo ranted on and on, what Albedo was trying to say was basically, staring out the window was "normal". But of course, he couldn't be rude about it so he had to painfully listen to Albedo spitting out nonsense.

Finally, you (along with others) finished your food and washed your dish before walking into your room, leaving everybody else who was still not done (Heizou, Kaveh and surprisingly, Tighnari, are slow eaters).

"You're done eating? What do you want to do now?" Pierro asked, his voice rumbling deeply that it gave Cyno a spook, it gave him the hibbie jibbies. Humming, you thought about your answer but concluded that you wanted to do nothing but sleep.

"Eh, not really. I do want to get a nap in though, I'm sort of tired." You yawned, flopping down onto your bed between Cyno and Albedo. "Would you want us to leave and let you sleep in peace or..?" Pierro asked once again, his face scanning yours.

You shake your head, covering your body in your sheets and curling into a ball. "I'm okay with you guys here don't worry. Pierro could you close the blinds please?"

Pierro nods and closes the blinds at your command, the room now dimly lit. Soon your heavy eyelids take over, but not before the sound of the door clicking open and then followed by Childe complaining about you leaving him.

The obvious sounds of groaning and complaints about Childe could be heard too (Itto was complaining REALLY loudly.), Cyno shushes everybody entering your room, pointing at your trying-to-fall-asleep figure.

"Ooooh, whoops! Sorry Y/n!" Childe apologizes, cringing at the thought of his loud voice waking you up. You could barely hear him though, drowsiness taking over your body and thoughts, nothing was left in your brain except for one thing—sleep.

Kaeya rolls his eyes at Childe before slowing and carefully closing the door shut. "It's only 2:30 pm, isn't sleeping in the afternoon bad or something?" Gorou asked, peeking his head from behind Itto to look at you.

Albedo hums. "Well, yes, but considering that they have been tiring themselves out since we've arrived, I think they deserve this well-deserved rest. Don't you agree?"

The surrounding men agreed, nodding their heads. "I agree, we should let Y/n sleep, I think I should too, without Y/n I'll be bored..." Kazuha yawns, already getting ready to take an afternoon nap with you.

After Kazuha laid down on the mattress, a few others started to mirror his actions. Itto, Ayato, Capitano, Thoma and Kaveh began to settle down on the mattresses while the others went to the other room to take a nap as well (some didn't want to so they stayed out of the rooms and watched the TV or played board games).

Normally when you sleep during the afternoon, you would wake up in the middle of the night, and oftentimes you fail to fall back asleep. And that is exactly what happened to you.

In the dimly lit room, darkness envelops every corner. The only source of light is the faint glow seeping through the curtains, painting the room in a hazy ambiance. You lie on your bed peacefully, your chest rising and falling rhythmically with each gentle breath you take in your sleep, the softness of the pillows cradling your head.

The darkness of the room seems to cocoon you and everybody, it is as if the night itself has woven a protective blanket around you all, the silence is broken only by the distant hum of the city, a lullaby that lulls you deeper into your peaceful slumber.

But soon, your eyelids flutter gently, and in the dark room, you can hazily make out the scene before you. Outside, the moon casted its soft glow through the window, casting delicate patterns on the bodies of the men and on the wall. It illuminates your face.

It was so comforting to you, the soft glow of the moonlight completing everything.

As you take in your surroundings you begin to understand that you were cuddling Kazuha while Ayato had his arms wrapped around you. Smiling softly, you snuggled in closer to Kazuha's chest—pressing your cheek against his warm and slowly rising chest.

And in this dimly lit room, you slumber on, oblivious to the world outside. The darkness embraced you like a mother's embrace, offering comfort, it is a place where dreams are born and nurtured, where the imagination takes flight and as the night deepens and silence engulfs the room, you continued to sleep peacefully, unaware of the outside world.

But then before you could fall asleep your eyes shot open, I have to work tomorrow. Groaning, you nuzzled your face more into Kazuha's chest, knowing the next day would be tiring.

note: IM SO SORRY FOR PROCRASTINATINGGGG i just got home a couple days ago and my jet lag is pretty bad and i have to work and all of that jazz!! thankfully i got myself together and finished it :)

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[lizsos]

Do I ?

Summary : team BEBE joins sfw2 bada cant help but notice how all the leaders are falling for you so she starts to question herself if she likes you

Genre : fluff , smut

g!p bada x reader

Your Aren't the youngest in team bebe .

Heck , your basically older than most of the girls except bada. It was your personality that made people think your younger than your actual age . You easily lit up any room with your cheerful and bubbly mannerism .

Bada always thought that her teammates are cute babies that she had to take care of ,but you in particular were different than the rest of the girls . Where she takes the role of an older sister for the rest of her members .

It was strange for her, team Bebe is a new team . It started with her gathering some students that she thought were fit for joining the competition . Were she , Lusher and Tatter were close because of their joined proformance for Kai , and the others were students from her classes , y/n was chosen to join the group because Young J recommend her to Bada .

At first Bada was skeptical, the girl looks very merk and shy , she saw her a couple of times talking with other members of Just Jerk while passing . But she didn't really believe that the girl is actually one of the famous instructors there .

But the moments that Bada joined one of her class , she was blown away

The girl can dance for sure

Compered to her innocent and cute looks , her dance was the complete opposite . Every move and every step that she takes looks very sensual and seductively. It makes her heart clench for a second then it recovers . That felt weird for her . She didn't know how to explain it but she knew she was in completely and utterly captivated by the sight in front of her .

The rest is history for them . After she finished gathering the rest of the members, the girls became very close quickly, some of them already knew each other from dancing classes together .

Bada is the playful and strict leader . Meanwhile Lusher took the role of the sub-leader who was always there to fill bada's shoes whenever she has some business anywhere . Tatter ,kyma , and cheche are the energisers and sowoen is the quite maknae , that leaves y/n as the team bebes unofficial maknae .

Why do you say that ? Well since you're a very clingy individual, you are always seen at least clinging onto someone thg you trust . So its normal to see you hugging while talking to the girls your smile itself can easily brighten up the room and its not rare to see you listening to the girls ramble , always with bright smile on your face . The girls really did adore you .

Bada wasn't an exception . Youw ere particularly clingy to her since she was older and she seems to like taking care of you . She sometimes buys you food or even takes you home whenever your practice runs late .

The girls had a suspension that their leader had a crush .

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was enough proof that the work payed off , cuz team bebe were invited to join Mnet newest dancing show . They finally have the chance to join the biggest dancing show in Korea and prove themselves , both to the dancing community and also the rest of the world .

Entering the fight zone , the members of the team bebe is actually the first team to enter . Sounds of excitement and amazement filled the big room , when team bebe enters , The stage has really improved compared to season 1 .

Bada walks in with y/n latched to her arms . Looking around in awe at the view in front of her , their team banner hanging on top of the wall .

"This looks really fun right ?" Y/n whispered to badas ears , slightly tugging downwards to actually be able to whisper to her .

Bada smiles in response, her heart with that same feeling again , the feeling that she still can't figure about, she shrugs it , and focuses on the younger girl gesture and expression.

Not long after the screen infornt of them turns on , playing what seems to be other teams commentary of team bebe .

"They're just bada copycats"

"Being badas student is their career"

"If they don't watch it , it'll start and end with bada "

This comment continued coming from each team , that lead to the members faces immediately turning sour after hearing the statements of other teams .

Even y/n has a frown on her pretty face .

They glanced at her before going to their designed seat . Sowoen ,Cheche,Kyma and minah on the second bleacher while Lusher , Tatter , y/n and bada on the front . Team bebe shows their frustration at being bad mouthed. All of them being quite .... awfully quite

" don't worry guys ... we'll prove them wrong right?" A bright voice rang out of y/n grinning at them , trying to lift up the mood . Grabbing the banner from badas head and waving it at them . After seeing that they have cheered up , she goes to put it back badas head , not forgetting to pat it lightly making the leader smile a little at the sweet gesture .

Soon after , the rest of the teams began to come one by one . And seats being finally complete, the door in the stage coming out of it kang Daniel. The room breaks into cheers after seeing the legendary hosts of the show .

"Whahh ..... two seasons in a row" somone from the crowd said .

"Its finally starting" . Another one said

"Hello . Welcome to Mnet original show ,Street Woman Fighter 2 . I'm your host Kang Danial , now let's welcome the judges for this season "

Monika of PROWDMON , monsta X shownu , and Mike songz of Kinjaz came out and went to their seats. Cheers could be heard throughout the room, each member fangirling over the judges .

Y/n wasn't an exception . When monika was called , she screamed as load as she can making the rest of team bebe shocked never have they seen her scream this load .

" I LOVE YOU MONIKAAA!" Her screams can be heard by everyone there .

Bada feels a small burn of jealously burn through her , never actually seeing the younger girl being g this excited over someone else before . "Ive had the biggest crush on her ever since I watched season 1 " y/n excitedly tells her members "its a dream to be able to see her in real life . Someone please pinch me"

Her last comment made her recive a pinch on her side , courtesy of Tatter excited to be able to annoy the older girl

"Owww... it hurts " y/n pouted .

"Well you asked for it . I just followed your order " Tatter gives her unnie a teasing grin.

After sometime they were finally given a break time to change into their clothes into a more battle appoprite .

Following her members to their waiting g room, y/n walks with bright smile, now hugging tatter , as she tries to annoy her for actually pinching her before.

Bada just walks behind the rest fo her members, happy that hey are in this together. She can't think of joining this show with other people.

They have finally finished changing and finishing up their makeup ,and now they were making their way back to the fight zone . Y/n was wearing a simple outfit consisting of a light blue baseball Jersey with a crop top underneath it and a white cargo pants , trying to show off her team color.

"The first battle is the (No respect) battle of the weakest" kang Daniel announced. He then began to explain the rules for the battle , making some of the girls look at their own no-respect sticker , wondering who gave them that .

"First to battle is 1 million redy"

Redy than comes out of her seat going around each teammfor a quite some time , knowing that her comments during the first video has really offended team bebes leader .

"The first person that I have no respect for is Bada from team bebe" redy said , moving towards team bebe section . Hearing that bada immediately stands up from her seat quite pissed at redy . The rest of the girls stood up from their seats to hype up their leader .

"I don't respect you that's it " redy shrugged , both of them facing each other ? "Not redy ... but soo Bin ! You're still an eight grader to me " bada snapped back ,hearing her respond the other teams scream hypes for the battle knowing the history between them .,

"Redy began to dance , her body moving along the rather of the song ,bada just looked at her while smirking , nothing how redy uses the same moves as before. She thought that this was going to be an easy since her opponent hasn't really improved from their younger days .

After redy stopped dancing , the music began to change . Bada stared to dance she walks over to redy , pointing out their obvious height difference and a form of taunting . Seeing her moves , the girls began to scream loving the confidence that bada has . A certain girl from bebe has become shy in particular, seeing another side of her leader as she saw her grind the air and showcasing sexual moves, a permanent blush seems to stuck on her face .

After bada finished dancing , she glanced at her team , notching one of them seems to blushing , smirking inside , she went to stand again inthe center of the stage waiting for her battle result

"Judges card open"

The three judges open their cards to show a 3 blue cards for team bebe insinuating that the Leader has won the battle . Team bebe began to scream in excitement when bada arrives at her spot , Tatter goes to put the Winner badge on their board , while bada goes to put the loser badge on 1 millions board .

The rest of the battle then continues with some them being drama-heavy . It wasn't long before y/n eard her name being called out to enter the fight zone . Tackimg the mic she decided to walk around , looking at the people around her ,whispers could be heard among the contestants,. "Shes really pretty she could pass as an idol " Capri whispers to Biggy . The girl nodding to her comment , not believing that there are a lot of pretty girls this season .

"She looks cute . I wonder how she will dance " Kirsten said to the members of jam Republic . "Yeah , she has the same vibe as Audrey, sweet and innocent " ling nodded agreeing to her . "Its rare to see you invested babe" ling said as she nudged kirsten. "What ?? No , I'm just curious about her I havent seen her dance yet " Kristen trys to defend herself "hmm .... sure , whatever helps you sleep at night" latrice decided to join in .

Their gaze simultaneously drifted to you when they hear you talk .

"The dancer that I don't have respect for is Chocol" y/n called out , making the room shout in surprise . "Waaaaa . No way ! I know I have no guts to call someone out from WolfLo " harimu screamed

"She really has some guts " mina myoung nodded at the small girl sitting next to her .

Chocol then nodded and got inside the battle zone , nodding to the younger girl " its not that I don't respect you unnie , I heard alot about you so I wanna see for myself " y/n said " Well I won't disappoint you then " chocol winked at her playfully making the younger girl blush , suddenly felling shy from the girls charm

Standing up to try getting a clearer view of her battle , bada silently watches the scene infront of her , the rest fo the bebe girls decided to follow along their leader to the side of the stage to watch their favourite member.

"Ready ? Fight ! " kang Daniel said . The music starting right after .

Chocol get to dance first she lets her body move along the beat . Her style was bery groovy and relaxed compered to the other dancers that she saw previously . Y/n just standed at the side watching seriously, face flat , trying to cover her excitement at seeing chocol cool moves . Without realising it , y/n is surprised that chocol is moving forward , body moving closer to her . Suddenly the both of them are face to face , h/n tried to step back , her body moving on its own . Chocol just smiles at her and blows a kiss her before moving back to the center and doing a flashy move before the timer runs out

Y/n is left there in surprise. Cheeks redder than tsubakill colo , trying to hide her face with her hands . The music then changed and she prepared herself . Removing her hands from her face , her expression immediately changed from its previously embarrassed state to looking cold and fierce .

As angles of Tibet by Amaarae started playing she began to jump a little

( your preformance )

You began to make your hips to the rythem hitting every beat , hips moving . Your gaze remained fierce , not giving any fucks to your surrounding , while staring at Chocol with cold eyes. Surprising the crowd around her , not expecting the bubbly shy girl to be dancing this way looking intimidating. She continued her dance with passion shaking her ass at chocol at the end . "Three two one . Battle over " Daniel said into the mic .

Y/n then stopped her movement. Throwing her gaze to her team who are screaming at her excitedly waving their arms to cheer her one . Both she and chocol move to the center waiting for the battle result . "Judges card open " danila announced.

The shy girl , covers her face with her hands , anticipating the result of her battle . The judges then open their cards showing all thee blue cards . The girl gasped in shock not believing she's able to beat such a strong dancer. Especially one that's really hard to beat .

"Y/n really surprised me . To be honest I wasn't really expecting much at the begging , but after seeing her dance I've stared to wonder how come I've never seen her before . Your moves are really fun to watch especially the details in it and the power behind it ." Monika said

"It was a really close battle to be honest " Mike started " y/n really showed us that unique kind of dance that is rarely done and even Chocol showed us the basics of hiphop and how not everyone can pull it off "

Y4n bowed to the judges after hearing their comments , happy and shocked at the same time after listening to the results she goes to face Chocol who smiled at her "its a pleasure to battle with you" y/n bowed

"Its a Pleasure to be dancing with such a beautiful and talented women " Chocol winked and went to hug her placing her arms around the girls waist . Surprised at the unexpected gesture , y/n just squeaked in response and after sometime she goes to uwarp her arms away from the girls neck . Their hug ended. And the girls went back to their teams , one with a smirk on her face and the other one why a shy redded face and a shy smile .

Upon getting closer ,team members wore a teasing smirk on their faces , ready to bully the shy older girl . What she didn't notice is one face that frowning and glaring at the figure of the wolflo members .

Yah, Unnie, what is that?" Tatter exclaimed at the girl in shock. Not believing her eyes that her shy and small unnie can dance that sexy. "And the hug too, are you perhaps flirting with Chocolunnie?" Minah added, gazing questioningly at the girl in front of her. This seems to make the leader frown deepens upon hearing

the younger girl question, questioning herself ( Do i like y/n ?)

"What? No!" Y/n denied the accusation immediately, crossing her arms into an X to further prove her point. "It's just heat of the moment I'm sure.' They goes back to their respective seat. Y/n choosing to cling to Lusher, seeing as the girl hasn't made a move to tease her. After watching battle after battle, they are finally done with filming for today. The teams are going to their waiting room and preparing to go back home, tired after a long day of filming.

The girls of Bebe follow along, moving up the stairs and walking to their room, chatting quietly along the way. After resting and packing their bags, the girls all walk together outside. Their steps are soon stopped by a silver-blonde haired girl that calls Y/n, "Hey, Y/n right?" Kirsten approached the Bebe group. "Huh? Yeah, hi, nice to meet you" Y/n replied in English. "Im Kirsten, nice to meet you guys!" she cheerfully introduced herself to the rest of Bebe, "Anyways, I'm realy surprised with your dance move earlier and would like to congratulate you for winning that battle, it's definitely a cool battle to watch" Kirsten complimented.

The shh said girl blushed after hearing her comments, not used to being praised, especially by a very talented dancer. "Ah, not really, I'm really glad that you enjoyed the battle. Your battle is really cool too, I want to learn your dance style for sure," she complimented, giving Kirsten bright smile to support her statement. "Haha... thank you for your compliment. I'll make sure to teach you some move in the future" "Well, I'l be going now, see you later guys!" Kirsten waved to the rest of the Bebe girls and blowing a kiss to Y/n "Bye pretty!"

The girls immediately teased Y/n after Kirsten figure disappear from their sight. "Wow, Y/n the Ladies Collecter," Cheche commented, making the rest of the girls burst out laughing with the exception of their leader and a blushing Y/n. "It's not like that guys, she's just being friendly" Y/n try to defend herself.

"Uh huh... friendly" Kyma makes a teasing gesture. The rest of them then walk outside, going to their respective vehicles, teasing Y/n along the way. The still quiet Leader finally speak up after the whole thing, "Y/ n, do you need a ride home?" she asked. "Yes, if it didn't bother you" the said girl answer, going to cling herself to Bada's arm, missing the unusually quiet girl touch after being ignored throughout the shooting.

"Okay... Bye girls, take care!" Bada announced to the rest of the girls, walking with Y/n that's still latching on her arm towards her car. Going to the passenger side first, and opening the door for Y/n, taking her bag before making Y/n enter the car. The smaller girl smile and thanked her for her actions. Going to close her door, Bada then went to open her car trunks and putting both her bag and Y/n bags inside before closing it and going inside the driver seat.

Bada started the car before driving . She gave Y/n her phone to play songs, knowing that she likes listening to music , Y/n just takes the phone, entering the password before opening spotify and choosing a calm song, God's forbid she can't hear any more hype songs after today long shooting. Both girls stay quiet during the drive, having thoughts in their minds for today events. Bada decided to end their silence, "How are you feeling?", Snapped out of her trance, Y/n goes to answer the question of the oreo haired girl, "Im fine. It's just very exhausting. I can't believe how exhausting it is to film this show" the smaller girl groaned out, lips turning into a pout. Chuckling at her response, Bada took a quick glance at the cute girl beside her. "Yeah, I mean, I didn't expect to watch so many dance battle's in a day".

"I know right?" the smaller girl pout deepens. "But it's still fun to meet so many new people" Hearing her response, Bada mood turns sour again, remembering how many girls flirted with Y/n throughout their shoot. She didn't like the fact that people are flirting with her girl. Well, not her girlfriend exactly, but Y/n is hers. The girl frown at her thoughts, she didn't like Y/n right? or did she .

After today events, she's starting to think that she has been denying her feelings for the smaller girl. The realization hits her like a truck. Wow, she really likes the girl beside her. Not long after they arrived in front of Y/n apartment. The girl thanked Bada for the ride before going to get out of the car. "Thanks for the ride unnie" she smile widely at Bada, giving her a close eyed smile. She then closed the door and move into her apartment. Realizing that the girl forgot her bag in the trunk, Bada turns off her car, getting the girls bag from the trunk and went to follow her. Pressing the number to her floor, Bada went out and press the bell to the girls room. Not long after she heard footsteps

approaching and the door opening. "Bada-unnie, why are you here? Did you need something?" the h/c haired girl asked, confused on why her leader is in front of her door. "Im here to give you your bag" she showed the bag that is slung over her shoulder, " You forgot it in the trunk". "Thank you so much" Y/n takes the bag that Bada handed to her before moving forward to hug the taller girl. Arms wrapping around her waist before going to release herself from the hug,mher movements is stopped by Bada arms wrapping around her.Tucking her chin on top of the girl head, and hugging her closer. Both girl just sigh in comfort, the hugs seems to take away all their stress of filming. "I love you, Y/n" Bada suddenly blurted out.

Shocking both herself and the girl that she was hugging. Releasing herself from the hug, Bada quickly composed herself and take a hold of the surprised girl hands. "Ive always liked you ever since I met you .

You were kinda shocked from what bada just said but something about that made you feel relived so you answered her back " I love you to bada unnie " bada responded to your answer by pulling you by the neck and kissing , you immediately, kissed her back

Bada was satisfied by finally tasting your lips . Bada slowly pulled away from the kiss and said " how about I show how much I love y/n " in a slow sudctive voice . You were kind of surprised with how bada said that but you answered her "please bada "

Bada couldn't stop herself anymore she kissed you one more time but this time more rough , she pushed her tongue in your mouth and carried you to your apartment and closed the door behind her .

"Please be rough bada " bada was kind of suprised by your comment but she didn't complain

"Anything for you princess" she said but soon said

"on your knees," Bada's jaw was clenched, palms flat against the door, effectively trapping you in. Scoffing, you tugged on her shirt yanking her closer to you, "why don't you make me?" You could almost see the shocked expressionon badas face , "so you're playing that game, huh? fine, have it your way." Was the last thing she uttered before you were pushed down to your knees, a large veiny hand tangled in your roots as you winced in pain.

"ow! Bada− it took me like 3 hours to style my hai−" you were cut off by your bada's hardened length slapping against your cheek, effectively shutting you up. "I don't want to hear your blabbering," she sighed, pushing the bulbous tip past your lips as she shuddered in delight. "now, get to work, slut."

You whined at the derogatory name, licking the underside of her cock before taking her in your mouth again, suckling lightly on the tip. She hissed when you slowly started to take hierfully into your mouth, fingers tangled in your hair tightening with each inch you swallow. You took half of her before abruptly pulling off− her brows twitched in annoyance and she breaths a quiet "enough" before slamming into your mouth forcefully, the mushroom tip reaching the very back of your throat as you sputter and gag on it, not expecting her to be so rough but you asked for it so thats what you get . She keeps going before pulling out almost completely− then brutally thrusting back into the wet heat of your mouth.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The end

[saint--claire]

When I was a little child, there was a particular library book I checked out week after week, endlessly renewing it as much as I was able. The book, How to Raise and Keep a Dragon by John Topsell was a quasi-nonfiction guide to, as you guessed, rearing different species of dragons. I loved it. Tiny-me had plans.

As an adult, I tried to buy it a few times. No dice. The book was so old that no mainstream bookseller stocked it. Even when I tried niche websites recommended by various booksellers and librarians, I still couldn't find it. It was sadly lost to time, apparently not popular enough to make it into the archives.

But.

My best friend had a copy of that book. We're going to call her G, for several reasons not relevant at the moment. I was discussing my search with G one day, for some reason I can't remember now. She got a funny look on her face, asked me a few questions about the cover, listened to me do a very poor job of explaining with my hands how the hardcover copy had included a real gemstone in the dragon's forehead, and then went off to fish it out of her bookcase.

I was Gobsmacked.

I should not have been, given that the history of shared childhood books between us both would have made a circle with ragged edges, more so than a venn diagram, but I digress. The book came home to live in my house for a few months, and I was delighted by the chance to read it again.

Do people remember those type of books? Dragonology, Egyptology, The Stone Age - a way of introducing children to non fiction. They very earnestly spoke about the responsibilities needed to raise dragons, the practicalities involved. There was a record of registration you could fill out, if you had carefully considered the information to your self and felt you were responsible enough to to go through with adopting a dragon.

I vaguely remember filling out some of the riddle and puzzle questions in the Dragonology books. I would never have written in John Topsell's book, it was a library book.

But.

When I re-read G's copy at home, smiling over the familiar artwork, I was surprised to turn the page and find the painstaking, somewhat-wonky handwriting staring back at at me. Baby G, with her name spelled out in freshly-joined but still-not-quite-got-the-hang-of-this-yet cursive lettering. Baby G had filled the registration out in her best handwriting, in glittery green gel pen to denote the importance of the document. This was compared to the earlier, less important checklists done in plain black ink.

I read the registration certificate. Smiled. Smiled some more at the names listed for G's dragon, her dam, and her sire - Eragon was also a great book. Go off, Christopher Paolini.

Breed; standard Western Dragon. The box 'miniture' was ticked, to show that G's dragon was of the minature specic variety, rather than a full size dragon. This was, as she would later explain to me, chosen on the basis that baby-G felt it was the more financially responsible choice. Also so she could keep her dragon in her house with her, but we're not there yet.

I looked at that certificate. Looked at it again. Looked at the calendar, and then looked at the sewing machine I had just been given for Christmas.

G celebrates her birthday in January.

The template came first. I studied the different images of the standard western dragon through the book, picked my favourite, and re-drew it to a significantly larger scale.

Inking the design to the fabric, four times over probably took the longest.

I very subtly asked G the next time she was over (after hurling all dragon-related materials in a panic into the depths of my wardrobe) what type of colour dragon she would have, should it come up. As G later said, that type of question from me truly did not register as anything other than a question asked from theoretical interest. I transitioned the topic as discreetly as I could after she answered, and delightfully, my sneakiness went in one ear, out the other, and she forgot I had ever asked until several weeks later.

I enjoyed painting them.

Don't ask me how many mistakes I made through this process. So many. I do already know how to sew, but it's been a long time. I'd been meaning to get back into it for a while.

Given that various aunts and grandmothers and my mother had a knack for calling when I was up to my elbows in either paint or pins, it became a family affair. Each of them peered at the project through face time and offered their advice.

Some of the advice I took, some I didn't. No regrets about sewing it in pink thread. Considerable regrets about accidentally slicing one of the feet in half and having to fix that.

In the end though, she was finished.

I carefully pinned on her name tag, with the name baby-G had chosen with a little blue ribbon. A collar was unacceptable, this is a dragon, people, come on. Dragon's don't wear collars.

I put the book in the box, open to the registration certificate, and put the dragon on top. Wrapped the whole thing up with a bow and then refused to touch it before I sent myself mad trying to fix details that didn't really need to be fixed.

A bit late for her birthday, sure, but there we are. We'd gone for a trip off to nowhere for a weekend, to go try wine made out of blueberries and hike up a waterfall. (And climb on it. And swim in it. It was a very good waterfall).

I gave her the box, informed her she wasn't allowed to keep the box, just the contents (it was the only thing I had that was big enough for me to keep all of my A3 portfolios in, it had only been temporarily-repurposed as dragon housing), and then left the next bit up to the gods.

A surprise, sitting un-awaited for some 15 years in amber, to catch up to baby G and adult G together.

Happy Birthday, baby and adult G.

[shae-pine]

I Explain the Context for the songs in The Outsiders Musical

Spoilers for the Musical under cut! I was lucky enough to see the show in person so now that the album is out I decided to provide context for the songs so people listening to the album can know where in the story each one takes place/what is happening on stage during. Also some fun tidbits sprinkled in because this show is really so amazing I can not praise it enough.

Tulsa '67:

 The self-explained exposition song. We get the intro being the first line of the book and then we get the song as out introductions to the characters. One thing that is interesting is that there's a projector screen on stage and for this song Pony sits in front of the screen and speaks to the audience while the other characters are behind the screen. Acting out little scenes to show their personality while Ponyboy narrates and at the end of the song the screen lifts up to show a clear view of the stage. It's also right before Ponyboy gets jumped.

Grease Got a Hold:

Right after Ponyboy gets jumped. Like the song says in this version of the story a greaser isn't just something you are born into it's something you "earn" by being beaten down on by the socs. It shows the differences in each character most notably Darry and Dally because Darry hates the idea of Pony being stuck as a greaser, presumably because he wants more for his little brother, while Dally sees being a Greaser as something to be proud of. Presumably the first time Ponyboy gets to grease his hair (this song was also performed on the Today show and I highly recommend looking up the performance it's so good, it should be available on the today show website along with the other songs performed that day)

Runs in the Family:

Darry gets a song! After the previous song we cut to Darry in the Curtis home reflecting on where he was going in life versus where he ended up. In the musical the fact that Darry would be a soc without the gang is played up a lot more. The emphasize Darry's friendship with Paul and their history seems to go a lot deeper than just football buddies. Paul mentions gifting Darry a madras shirt and Darry being over at his house. The rest of the gang piles in at the end of the song.

Great Expectations:

The titular 'I want' song in any musical. The night after getting jumped Ponyboy tells Soda about reading great expectations and after Soda bids him goodnight he starts singing. When he mentions Darry and Johnny the actors come on stage. And at the end of the song the chorus of overlapping voices is the whole gang on the outskirts of the stage looking down/at Pony while Ponyboy sings out to the audience. (This song was also performed on the Today show)

Friday at the Drive-In:

The Soc introduction song. I think an important thing to note is that while the greasers dancing is far more rough and tumble. Jumping around and over each other, spinning and getting out nervous energy. The socs are far more reserved in their movements. They are still dancing around with spins and flips but this scene features a lot of partner dancing that's more self contained than the greasers who jump all around the stage.

I Could Talk To You All Night:

After Johnny tells Dally off/Dally leaves. Ponyboy and Cherry go to the concessions stand together. While in line Ponyboy tells her about Johnny getting jumped to which Cherry tries to defend Bob as Ponyboy already knows it was her boyfriend who beat Johnny up. Her defending him is half hearted though when Pony insists Johnny didn't do anything, he mentions reading Great Expectations to her and she tells him how Pip gets a happy ending before they start this song. It carries the story forward up until the end of the movie/the scene where they try to walk the girls home only for Bob and the socs to stop him. Also, in the musical Cherry does not go with Bob and instead breaks up with him right then and there because she's tired of all the fighting.

Runs in the Family(Reprise):

Ponyboy and Johnny make it to the Curtis house and instead of falling asleep at the lot it's stated that Ponyboy just spent so long talking to Cherry that that was why he was late for curfew. He acts nonchalant about it and Darry bursts into the reprise. There's also a scene here where Darry goes to advance on Johnny only for Soda to step between him(I think this was meant to be a moment where Darry is just lashing out because he's under a lot of stress as a guardian and Johnny is there but it hurts my heart a little to think Johnny was scared in that moment as he backs up and ducks away before Soda steps in front of him) And after the slap Ponyboy freezes until Johnny runs over and tells him they gotta get out of there.

Far Away From Tulsa:

After getting hit is when the two wind up at the park. Their conversation in the book about a life outside of Tulsa is now taking place after Darry has hit Ponyboy which makes his desire to find a place without worries all the more real. Johnny and Pony have this beautiful moment on stage together where they look out to the audience together and imagine a life where they can do and be whoever they want. Which makes it hurt all the more that right after they sing all their desires for a better life is when Bob and the rest of the socs show up.

Run Run Brother:

The two make it to Buck's after the stabbing of Bob where they ask for Dally. It's worth mentioning that Dally straight up mentions his willingness to die for Pony and Johnny, and that he thinks of the two of them as brothers, though I can not remember if this happens here or after 'Grease Got A Hold'. After the first bit of the song the  scene shifts from Buck's to Pony and Johnny running to the train/hiding from the workers as they make their way to Windrixville. There's also a line in the beginning when Pony says 'when I came to there was Johnny with his knife' this is important and I'll explain in 'Little Brother.' I also really like the detail of before, during 'Grease Got a Hold', 'you're a greaser now and you ain't going back' was said as a proud statement and now when the chorus sings it it sounds sad and almost like a death sentence. 

Justice for Tulsa:

We cut back to Tulsa after the boys escape. The cops line up the socs on the stage as they call for justice now that one of their own has been murdered. When Cherry speaks she is doing it at the vigil the soc's are holding for Bob before Randy approaches her. He's organizing a hunting party against the greasers. It's worth mentioning that when Cherry speaks against him Marcia tries to go to her side only for the other soc girl in the show(Bev) to hold her back. Cherry leaves alone and once she's gone Marcia pick up a flashlight, which serves as the symbol for the socs hunting down the greasers with no mercy during this scene. Where in the book Dally mentions Two-Bit getting jumped during this song we see it happen. The socs jump him and Bev holds a lit cigarette to his cheek while the guys hold him down(in the live version of this song we hear Two-Bit's scream) It's worth mentioning that Randy does not get a redemption in this version, in fact, outside of Cherry the socs are pretty much painted at the bad guys with her as the one exception. Even though we get Randy's emotions with 'this can't be real, he can't be gone' rather than feeling sadness over his friend's death for too long Randy switches to anger. Cherry's role as such has been adapted to be a mix of her and Randy from the book in terms of story beats.

Death's At My Door:

The boy's are in the church, as far as I can recall this was after they cut their hair and I believe it was meant to be implied that a day or two has passed since Bob's death. Though if this is before or after Pony read the poem I no longer remember. The two boys are relying on each other in this scene as they reflect on how nothing is gonna be the same again what with their ability to go home taken away unless they want Johnny to be thrown in jail. Something I forgot to mention before is that Pony blames himself for his parents death. In the musical he say that on Darry's birthday he was supposed to pick up a special frosting for his brother's cake from a bakery his mother liked. But because he forgot his parents had to go out of their way to go and get it and thus were hit by the train because they had to go over the tracks. He tells Cherry before 'I Could Talk To You For Hours' that if he had just remembered his parents would still be alive. Which is why in this song he claims death follows him because he believes his parent's would still be alive if he had remembered to pick up the frosting, and that Bob would still be alive if he hadn't run out of the house/if Johnny didn't need to protect him. 

Throwing in the Towel:

We cut back to Darry and Soda after the boys have been missing for a few days. Darry finally breaks down to Soda all the pressure he's under and how he feels like his brother's would be better off without him. He admits how much he thinks this is all his fault for being too hard on Pony and causing him to storm off after hitting him. During this scene while Soda and Darry are singing Ponyboy can be seen at the back on the stage watching them, and during the last chorus of the song 'this it the darkest hour of the darkest night' his voice joins his brothers. (This song was also performed on the Today Show and you should go watch it)

Soda's Letter:

Back in the church now right after Dally gets there after greeting Pony and Johnny he hands over the letter for Pony to read. Ponyboy reads it at the front of the stage while Soda's actor sing behind him/looking at him. Pretty much unchanged in terms of what Soda's letter gives to the story/when it given/read. The final "Ponyboy this house ain't a home without you" is sung by Darry who makes his way onto stage when Soda mentions him in the letter and we see him behind Ponyboy all but begging his brother to come home in this song.

Hoods Turned Heroes:

This is the fire song. We see Pony, Dally and Johnny in the church, I saw Pony light the cigarette and toss it behind him. I saw the flames go up and a terrified Ponyboy going "it's my fault" and then we cut to Two-Bit, grabbing the paper and beginning this song. We see a somewhat split stage in terms of spacing, the greasers back in Tulsa on one side, passing the newspaper between them as they read it, and we see Pony and Johnny in the middle saving the kids from the church. The scene is actually so creatively done and I adore it, outside of the fire they have two actors hold up a blanket and use shadows to show Pony and Johnny pulling kids from the fire since there are no child actors in this production. Interlaced with the puppetry of the saving kids we see Johnny and Pony sliding out from under the blanket and jump around beams that are held up by other actors while the paper is being read. All ending with Dally going in after Johnny. The scene changes to Dally holding Johnny, who's been changed into a hospital gown, and Dally gently lays him on the hospital bed when the song ends.

Hopeless War:

Before the rumble Pony does not leave the hospital. He stays there watching Johnny until Cherry comes in. She looks at Johnny, asking after his health, before turning to Pony and begging him not to fight. But if you recall earlier, as far as the musical is concerned the fire was set by Ponyboy's cigarette(sidenote: I think it'd be cool if every night they rotated who lights the cigarette and throws it and just switch Pony's line from "it's my fault" to "it's our fault" but I only saw the show once so I assume it's the same every time for who lights the fire even though it the book and movie we don't know for sure)  So Pony can't listen to Cherry, even though in this scene she's taking the place of Pony's discussion with Randy in the book about the fight not making areal difference, because he sees this as his only chance to try and do something for Johnny since he can't do much else but watch over him in the hospital.

Trouble:

We cut to directly after Pony's discussion with Cherry. The greasers have their war cry of trouble brewing as everyone prepares for the rumble. While Ponyboy gets ready Darry comes up and begs him not to fight. If you recall during "Grease Got a Hold" Darry says how Pony "better know what you're fighting for" But he still doesn't want his brother to have to fight. But by this point Pony had his reason for fighting and he's the one to rally the gang with the call of "Do it for Johnny!" right before the socs roll up. Dally does say “do it for Johnny” at the beginning of the song but it’s Ponyboy who uses it as a war cry. Dally also has a moment where he calls out Darry for being on the greasers side when he was so against being a greaser before, but Darry looks at him and says confidently "once a greaser always a greaser". Paul has a moment with Darry where he calls him out for wanting to be a soc but Darry shuts him right down and the rumble is on.

Little Brother:

Right after the rumble the entire gang heads over to see Johnny, yes, the entire gang. Not just Pony and Dally everyone gathers around him and tells him about beating the socs. They watch as Johnny tells Pony to stay gold and they all break down when he passes, Dally runs out before anyone can stop him. He makes it to the top of the stage, and he begins his song. breaking down the boards around him in a show of anger and violence while the ensemble sings below him looking up. He says tearfully "I could not save you" remember during 'Run run brother' where I said the knife would be brought up later? It's because Dally was the one to give him the switchblade. Before the socs get their number Dally comes across Johnny staying in the lot while his parents are fighting. He tells Dally how he's been uncertain since he was jumped to be out alone. So Dally reaches into his jacket, pulls out the blade, and gives it to him(that one promo pic) and Dally tells him that "if you're gonna use it, use it" and I believe he says something along the lines of "because if you do there's no going back" Dally gave Johnny that knife to try and protect him, but all it did was sign his death warrant. It protected him from Bob but not from anything else, not from the fire. And when Dally said he would die for Pony and Johnny he meant it. He sings and is joined by the cast who echo him "little brother" but he stands alone at the top of the stage. He makes his way down to the bottom portion of the stage, stepping onto the train tracks(in my mind it's the same spot where the Curtis' parents crashed) planting his feet and squaring his shoulders before the song ends, and the train comes. According to Ponyboy his body derailed the train, and Pony likes to believe that despite that, some part of Dallas Winston managed to make it's way back to New York. (Playbill released Joshua Boone singing this song and it's so heartbreaking because there is no ensemble in that version so you have to sit with the harsh melody when Dally makes his choice to face the train head on)

Stay Gold:

After Dally's death we head back to the Curtis house. We don't get a time frame but going off the book it's been a week or two since they've both died. Cherry comes by with Johnny's things from the hospital, she mentions she volunteers there now, and gives Pony Johnny's letter for him. Pony refuses to read it but after Soda has his break down about "we're all we got left" he grabs Johnny's letter and starts to read it for Pony. Getting a line or two in before Pony asks for it, starts to read it himself, and the song begins. Johnny Cade joins us back on stage as he sings to Pony his hope for the world he has to leave behind. And of course, that request to stay gold.

Finale (Tulsa '67): 

After reading Johnny's letter Ponyboy begins to write his theme. He finishes a page or two before joining his brothers at the table, he tells them what he writing about and Soda tells him to read it. Pony says it's only a few pages but Darry speaks up, "Can I read it?" he asks. And Pony hands it over, it isn't Ponyboy reading that intro again, but Darry, determined to do better by his brother and reading his work. He and Soda pass the theme to each other, taking turns reading sections aloud while Pony sings. Sings about Tulsa and the gang, of Dally who saw being a greaser as a badge of honor, of Johnny who wanted more for himself and more for Ponyboy who vows that "in his memory I'll stay gold!" The entire cast comes onto the stage as they sing, no longer to each other but to the audience, "stay gold!" It is something that has stuck with me and will stick with me to know that those final lines were no longer characters talking to each other, but talking to the audience right as the show comes to an end.

Anyways this got way longer then I thought but if you want me to ramble more about the show literally just ask I can not stop thinking about it. Might make another post about the differences between the musical and the book.

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Sweet Pumpkin Chapter 2

Summary:  Bucky is struggling with the dating world and knows that if he ever hopes to have a serious relationship, that he needs to get through his touch deprivation issues.  It’s not that he doesn’t want to touch people, or them to touch him, but after decades of pain he doesn’t know how to accept physical intimacy from others, or how to give it himself.  He hires Y/N, an intimacy coach and professional cuddler, who comes highly recommended.  Will his heart be able to distinguish between a service given versus real love?

Warnings: mentions of past violence and past sexual assault, language, physical intimacy, eventual smut

**curvy reader

Previous chapter Next chapter

Bucky saw Y/N every Friday for the next two months.  They had made great strides together, and he was able to be touched without immediately shrinking away or flinching.  He now greeted her with a hug every time she opened the door, smiling widely at him with that same twinkle in her eye.  He was able to hold her gaze without feeling the need to look away, to touch her without hesitation.  

“I think we’re ready for the bed,” Y/N announced.

“The bed?” Bucky asked.

“Yep!” she said cheerfully.  She walked over to the bed and climbed up, sitting on the end by the wall, her hands in her lap and her legs spread out in front of her.  She leaned back against the wall and then patted the spot next to her.  “Come sit with me, Buck.”  Bucky followed her and sat next to her on the bed.  They had sat next to each other on the couch not far from the bed, so this wasn’t much different.  She watched him then looked ahead of herself.  “Alright, now I want you to reach over and put your hand on my thigh.”

“Your thigh?” Bucky said incredulously.  “What is this, a date?”

“Yes,” Y/N smirked.  “Pretend you’re on a date with some pretty person and you’d like to reach over and hold onto their thigh.”

Bucky was still surprised, glancing down at her legs.  “Okay,” he said.  “Not hard to pretend when I’ve got a pretty lady right next to me already.”

Y/N snorted, covering her face with her hands as she laughed, Bucky chuckling next to her.  He’d been a lot more personable and flirty with her the last month as he became more comfortable.  They teased each other, Bucky using humor as a way to lighten the mood whenever there were heavy or serious moments.  “Such a flirt,” she scoffed.  Bucky smiled but reached out and gripped her thigh, just a few inches above her knee.  “Easy,” she said, tapping his hand on her thigh proudly.  “Okay, now put your arm around my shoulders.”  Bucky moved that same arm up and over her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.  “Very good,” she said, and he felt a tug of his heart at the praise.  “Can I put my head on your shoulder?” she said, looking up at him.

“Yeah,” Bucky said.  Y/N leaned her head against his shoulder.  They sat like that in silence for a moment before Bucky leaned his head down to rest on top of her head.  

“Very good,” she praised him again.  “Is that comfortable for you?”

“Yes,” he agreed.  “I think I can handle the basic date touching, Y/N.”

“I’m sure you can,” Y/N said, moving to sit back up.  Bucky begrudgingly lifted his head and moved his arm back to his side.  She suddenly sat up on her knees to face him and leaned forward towards his face.  “Staring contest, go!” she said loudly.

Bucky’s lips tightened into a thin line as he tried not to laugh, his eyes widening as he stared at her.  “Jesus, Y/N, why do you keep doing this when you know you’re gonna lose?”

“It’s an exercise,” she explained simply, shrugging one of her shoulders.  “Keeping prolonged eye contact is extremely intimate, and important when talking to people so they feel like they’re being seen and listened to.”  

Bucky huffed a laugh.  “Sure, or it could just be your excuse to look at me,” he teased, arching his eyebrow at her and his eyes narrowing.

She narrowed her eyes back at him.  “Could be. I mean, for 107 you don’t look half bad.”

“Half bad?” Bucky said, tilting his head at her.  “I look fucking hot for 107.”  She fought a wide smile, making her lips twitch in the corners.  He could see her eyes starting to water and decided to up the ante.  Their faces were already close together, just a few inches away, another thing they’d worked on, but now he slowly leaned forward until his nose was nearly touching her nose.  Y/N’s eyes fluttered but didn’t quite close.  “Just admit it, you think I’m hot, don’t you?” he teased.

Y/N’s eyes widened then shut tight.  “Goddammit,” she swore, leaning back and rubbing her eyes.  

Bucky laughed.  “I win,” he said jovially.

“Yeah yeah,” Y/N laughed.  “We’ve still got about 15 minutes.  Did you wanna try cuddling today?”

Bucky nodded.  As much as it was important for him to be able to learn to be in such close proximity with someone, he had been waiting for this part of their sessions.  “Yeah.  How did you want to…?”

Y/N smiled then moved back to where she was before.  She laid down, keeping her upper half slightly propped up in the pillows behind her head.  “Let’s start with me holding you,” she said.  “Unless you’d rather be the big spoon first?”

“The big spoon?” Bucky laughed.  

“You’ve never heard of being the big spoon or little spoon?” Y/N laughed.  “God you’re so old.”

“Hey, that’s ageist,” Bucky said, his hand against his chest.  “How disrespectful of your elders!”

“Oh shut up and get down here,” Y/N huffed, opening her arms up to him.

Bucky chuckled again and slid himself down so he was laying next to her.  They had never done this before, but he felt no fear or worry about it.  He wanted to feel her, for her to hold him, and happily accepted her embrace.  She guided him to rest his head against her chest, just under her chin, then sat still and held him, her hands randomly moving up and down his upper back.  He wrapped his flesh arm around her, his metal arm tucked underneath himself and resting between them across her stomach.  

“How does this feel?” Y/N asked quietly.

“Amazing,” Bucky answered honestly, his cheek slightly squashed against her sternum.  His flesh arm around her pulled her closer to him.  Y/N hummed as she leaned her head down to rest on top of his head.  They sat in silence for a few more minutes, Bucky nearly being lulled to sleep by the beating of her heart.  Her hand on his back moved slightly up and over the back of his neck and it made him shiver.  “Could you, uh…” he paused, feeling embarrassed.

“What is it?” Y/N asked.

“Could you run your fingers through my hair, please?” Bucky whispered.

Y/N huffed a laugh and squeezed him.  “Sure thing, hot stuff,” she said.

“I knew it!” Bucky said loudly, his arm squeezing her again.

“Yeah yeah, you’re hot, whatever,” Y/N said nonchalantly as her hand reached up and her fingers started slowly scratching down his scalp through his hair.

“Oh my god,” Bucky sighed, feeling like he was melting into her.  Y/N’s chest jiggled as she silently laughed.  

“I’ve got you,” she whispered into his hair.  “Just relax.”

Bucky nuzzled into her chest.  He wanted to bury into her, to stay like this forever.  He was proud of himself for how far he’d come over the last two months, but now he was worried.  What would happen if she felt like he was done with their sessions?  He’d gotten to know her pretty well over their time together, and she knew him better than anyone else in his life at this point.  She had quickly become his safe space, and he knew he was in trouble from that first night when she let him touch her face, tracing over her lips.  

He was dozing off until she tapped his shoulder.  “Bucky, wake up,” she called to him softly.  “Our time’s up.”

Bucky whined.  “No, five more minutes.”

Y/N giggled.  “I know, but it’s time.”  She started to unwind her arms from around him, forcing him to get up.  He slowly sat up, yawning and stretching as Y/N scooted to the end of the bed and sat facing him.  “How did cuddling feel?” she asked, watching him intently.

“Great,” Bucky answered, smiling at her tiredly.  

“Good,” Y/N breathed with her own tired smile.  “I’ll see you next week.”

Bucky nodded, standing and then reaching a hand out to her to help her up.  She took it and stood and then he pulled her hand to make her close to him and quickly hugged her.  “Thanks,” he said quietly.

“No problem,” Y/N replied.

@mishkatelwarriorgoddess @cjand10 @railmesebstan

[justnatoka]

Deliver me from darkness

Poly! The Lost Boys x GN! Reader

A/n: This piece is very special to my heart. This is for everyone who felt self-hatred before or like they didn’t deserve to be loved (me included). Of course, these issues are not so easy to solve, but I hope this little thing can make at least a few people feel better. Please, if you know someone who has these thought, show them kindness, a few caring words really can go a long way.

Word count: ~3.2k

Warning: depressive thoughts, feelings of self-hatred, of not being enough, self-isolation, angst with a happy ending

Prompt: “Nobody’s seen you in days.”

Song recommendation: In The Androgynous Dark by Brambles (I know it doesn't fit the vibe of the movie, but it's what I was listening to while writing.)

The fluttering of wings infiltrated the quiet of your bedroom. A slight push, and your windows slowly opened, bringing with them the scent of the warm summer night. Your heavy curtains that kept the room dark for the last couple of days got caught in the breeze, and in the small gap between them a sliver of moonlight stretched across your floor. It was soon blocked out, however, as a familiar figure stepped into the room, pausing for a second as he noticed the lump of blankets on the bed. When all he could hear was soft breathing, he made his way over there, his footsteps echoing loudly in the stillness.

You knew who he was the second he entered, the smell of cigarette smoke clinging to him like a second skin. And as you felt the bed dip behind you and a hand on your shoulder above all the layers, you could faintly make out a scent underneath, one that was all him, so indescribably David.

“Nobody’s seen you in days, darling. We were starting to get worried. I came to check on you.” He spoke with such tenderness, as if afraid that you would shatter any second. It was a tone so uncharacteristic of him, but it made your chest ache with longing. When you didn’t answer, he continued. “Can you say something? Just so I know you’re alright?”

You wanted to scoff at that. You were obviously not alright, and he could clearly see that as well.

“Why did you come here, David?” Your voice sounded rough and unfamiliar, not having been used in a while, and although you couldn’t see it, his eyebrows furrowed in concern at the sound.

“Like I said, we were worried. You didn’t come to meet us on the boardwalk, and none of us heard from you in a while. We even went to ask Michael if he knew anything.”

As he was explaining, you slowly tuned him out, not wanting to hear anymore, not wanting to listen to his concern. It only made you feel more miserable. When he stopped, you spoke up again.

“You shouldn’t have come here,” you whispered. Sensing his confusion you added, “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

David’s heart clenched at how pathetic you sounded, and it only made him more sure of himself.

“Well, I’m not going anywhere, and neither are they.”

You heard whispering as more people stepped in through your window. They were probably waiting outside for a sign to come in, not wanting to overwhelm you all at once. The thought caused your chest to ache even more.

“We won’t let you suffer alone, sugar,” Marko declared.

“We’re here to take care of you, dollface,” Paul added.

“Whatever you need,” Dwayne finished.

You felt tears welling up in your eyes as you finally made a move, slowly turning over and looking at them. Their heart broke when they took in you appearance. You hair was a mess, your skin pale and tired, your eyes puffy and red from crying, fresh tears running down your cheeks. You looked sad and exhausted, and all they wanted was to take the pain away from you, to see your sunny smile once again.

Paul was the first to move. “Oh, honey,” he sighed as he came over, scooping you up and into his lap, enveloping you in his arms. You sniffled as you buried your face into his chest. You felt more hands on you, Marko draping himself over you from the other side, and Dwayne sneaking his arms around all three of you. Not feeling like he had any space left in the group hug, David opted to link his fingers with yours, holding your hand and caressing your knuckles gently.

Feeling all this love around you, you broke down. This time, crying your heart out actually felt cathartic, not full of bitterness and sorrow like the past few days. As if their mere presence, the smallest sign that they cared, that someone cared at all opened the floodgates and washed away all the miserable thoughts you bombarded yourself with while no one was watching.

Their love was overwhelming. It’s what drove you to lock yourself away in a dark moment, the small voice in your head slowly poisoning your mind with doubt. Not feeling like you deserved any of it, your thoughts spiraled, constantly questioning why they chose you, hurling insult after insult towards yourself until you felt like breaking. After a while, there was just numbness, having tired yourself out with trying to withstand the waves of self-hate. But it was also their love that drove the darkness away, and as your sobs quietened down, so did the small voice in the back of your head. When you lifted your head, your eyes meeting David’s over the limbs and shoulders, all you saw was affection and reassurance, and after a long few days, you finally started to feel like you were going to be alright.

When they felt you shift, the boys unwrapped themselves from around you. Your heart swelled as you saw the tear tracks on Paul’s cheeks, moved that he cared enough to cry for you. You reached over and wiped them down, not wanting to see him sad anymore. You couldn’t help but notice that Marko’s eyes also glistened suspiciously, but he turned away, rubbing at his own face in hopes you wouldn’t see.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dwayne’s gentle voice drew your attention.

“No, at least not now,” you shook your head, your voice hoarse from all the crying. “Maybe I’ll be ready to talk about it later, but right now I just want to be with you guys.”

He nodded in understanding. “We’ll be here when you’re ready.”

You took his hand and gave it a thankful squeeze, your words failing you. He smiled back at you warmly.

“Well then,” David spoke up, his gloved hand still holding your own. “How about we help make you feel better, kitten? Come with me, let’s take a warm shower while the boys set everything up.”

He was already pulling you with him, out of your cocoon of blankets, out of the bed you barely left in the past few days. The only time you got up was to get something to eat from the kitchen or dragging yourself to use the bathroom, your limited amount of willpower only able to do so much. Now you let him guide you out the door, sending one last glance behind him at the others, silently communicating as you’ve seen them do so many times before, and you couldn’t help but wonder what he meant by ‘set everything up’.

He brought you to the bathroom, letting go of your hand to turn on the faucet, even pulling off his glove to check the temperature. When he was satisfied, he started making his way towards the door to give you some privacy. A sudden desperation clenched your lungs, and the next instant you were holding onto his hand tight. His face mirrored your own surprise, both of you caught off-guard by your fast movements. You felt your stomach flip, anxiety gradually turning into embarrassment, and you had to drop your gaze to the floor.

“Could you… would you stay with me?” You had to force the words out of your mouth. Shame crept into your mind about how pathetic you sounded, but after the last few days the thought of being alone for just a second sounded even more unbearable. After a long moment, gentle fingers cupped your cheek, the chill from his bare skin creeping into your own. David brought your gaze back up at him, and every little doubt disappeared at the understanding that radiated from his cool blue eyes.

“Of course I’ll stay, kitten, if that’s what you need.”

A smile turned the corners of your lips upward, a small one, but a smile nonetheless.

“There you are,” he teased softly. “That’s my darling I like to see.”

When your smile grew even brighter, he looked visibly relieved, feeling glad that he could finally pull you out of that suffocating cocoon of darkness bit by bit. He sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, making himself comfortable. You looked at him fondly a moment longer, letting the bathroom fill with steam from the hot water, fogging up the mirror. You wondered if he was feeling warm in all those layers as you turned your back at him and started peeling off your own clothes.

Your embarrassment returned when you felt his eyes on your bare back, your shirt dropping to the floor, soon joined by your pants and underwear. You felt completely bare standing in front of him in every sense of the word. He’s seen you naked before, they all have, but this was the first time you’ve been so vulnerable. You didn’t share your dark thought with people, not wanting to hear their pity, not wanting to seem as weak as you felt sometimes. But for the first time, he’s seen your everything, all your flaws and doubts and fears. It was a whole new type of nakedness, and it made you self-conscious. However, when you turned around to face him, all you saw was love in his eyes, and just like that, baring your soul didn’t feel so scary anymore. You knew this was a huge step, a new, deeper kind of trust was forming between you, and it made you feel safer than ever.

You stepped under the warm spray of water, not bothering to close the shower curtains all the way. You didn’t feel the need for it anymore, you had nothing to hide, and in your current state, you couldn’t care less if water got all over your floor anyway. Slowly, the tension in your muscles started to ease up, the hot shower washing away any remnants of the dark cloud that’s been festering in your mind. And you were pretty sure that David’s presence just a few feet away had a lot to do with that too. Just knowing that he’s there was enough.

As you got out of the shower, feeling refreshed and warm after the grime and sadness of the past few days have been washed away, David was already waiting for you with a towel. He wrapped you up, rubbing over your arms and back as you leaned into him, burying your nose against his collar and breathing in his scent.

“I’m gonna bring you some clothes, okay? I’ll be right back.” He seemed just as reluctant to let go as you were, but the shower helped, and you nodded, signaling that you would be alright to stay alone for a few minutes.

As he opened the door to leave, the sound of Paul and Marko bickering filtered into the bathroom along with clattering and something crashing. David and you shared a look.

“It’s okay, go and sort it out. I’ll be fine,” you reassured him. He let out a sigh as left to see what the hell those two were up to. Before you closed the door behind him, you could hear his chastising voice, followed with Marko’s complaining, and you cracked a smile.

By the time David came back, you’ve already dried you hair and was just sitting around, waiting for him. Accepting the pajamas he brought you, you dropped the towel and started getting dressed. This time, the feeling of his eyes on your body stirred something inside you, but you pushed it aside. There will be time for that later, when you didn’t feel so raw, when the memory of your pain wasn’t so fresh.

After you finished, he took your hand again and guided you back into your room. You were amazed at how different it felt now, as if someone sucked out all the darkness and negativity while you were in the shower. You had a feeling that Dwayne had something to do with that, as he was just finishing up with piling every pillow he found in the house on your bed. He had changed the sheets, and made a little nest from pillows and blankets that you honestly couldn’t wait to sink into. You also noticed that all the trash you accumulated the last few days and couldn’t bother to clean up, every single food wrapper, empty water bottle and used tissue disappeared. He even found some candles god knows where and lit them up around the room, creating a truly cozy atmosphere. The curtains were fully open now, the balmy summer night air seeping in through the open windows.

Dwayne raised his head when he heard your footsteps, and by the way his eyes wandered from you to David, you were sure he felt that something had changed between you two. Guided by a sudden urge, you went over to him and wrapped your arms around him, burying your face into his chest, wanting to reassure him that you were better now. You felt him hugging you back, but you couldn’t see him exchanging a look with David over your head, the leader sending him a silent answer to his unspoked question. He smiled at last, satisfied with what he heard, and finally letting himself really sink into your embrace.

The moment was broken by the sound of more footsteps and bickering back and forth, stopping at the door, then everything went silent.

“Babe?” Paul’s voice was hesitant, but as you unwrapped yourself from Dwayne, turned around and smiled at them, all his worry seemed to disappear. A huge grin lit up both his and Marko’s faces, and quickly discarding what was in their hands, they were on you the next second, wrapping you in a tight hug from both sides, almost knocking you over.

“It’s so good to see you smiling again, sugar,” Marko laughed into your ear from behind, while Paul peppered kisses all over your face, causing you to burst out in giggles as well. You couldn’t help but feel your heart grow twice in size, so full of love for these four. A few tears escaped your eyes, and hearing you sniffle softly, they instantly let you go, fussing over you with panicked faces.

“It’s okay, guys, these are happy tears,” you smiled, your voice thick from all the emotions you felt at once. Paul moved to wipe them away from your cheeks, just like you had done to him before. The moment he was out of the way, Marko pulled you against him, his fingers digging into you as he held you tight, his forehead resting on your shoulder.

“We were so worried when you didn’t show up for days. You could’ve gotten hurt for all we knew,” he mumbled against you. “And when we came to check on you and saw that you really were hurting and didn’t tell us I couldn’t… I felt to useless. I felt like I failed you.” His voice cracked at the end, and a fresh bout of tears escaped your eyes as you tightened your hold on him, your fingers sneaking into his hair and stroking his head.

“I’m sorry I made you worry. But you are not useless, you hear me? Do not blame for yourself for this. I should have come to you when I first started slipping into darkness. But that doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that you are here right now, and that’s more than enough,” your voice started to waver. “I love you all so much. And even though I might have some similarly dark moments in the future, I want you to know that you make me so incredibly happy, and I couldn’t be luckier to be loved by all of you.”

By now, tears were flowing freely from your eyes again. However, these weren’t tears of sadness anymore, but of healing. It took a few more minutes for Marko to let go of you, and as you looked into his eyes after retreating from his embrace, they were as red as your own. You sent him a watery smile, and swore to yourself deep within your heart that you would do everything in your power to not make him cry again.

“So,” you started, not wanting to talk about sadness anymore that night, “what were you guys doing in my kitchen?” you peered over Marko’s shoulder to discover two big trays they discarded on top of your dresser when they came in. They were practically overflowing with stuff.

“Oh, right,” Paul picked them up and brought them over one by one, setting them on the coffee table they brought in from the living room. “We got some snacks and some takeout, and we even made hot choco.” He looked very proud at that. “We would have marshmallows in it if someone hadn’t forgotten about them.”

“Hey, I told you already, that was your job,” Marko countered.

“No, it wasn’t!”

“Guys, it’s fine,” you chuckled. “It’s going to be just as good without marshmallows.”

“No, it’s not,” Paul pouted. “I wanted everything to be perfect for you.”

Your heart swooned. “I appreciate it, Paulie. That fact that you guys did all this for me,” you motioned over your little cozy setup of pillows and blankets and snacks, “is already more than enough.”

He seemed to relax at that, his ever present smile sneaking back onto his face.

“And there’s one more thing,” he pulled out a VHS of your favourite movie, having gotten it from the video store earlier. He put it in the player under your small TV, and as the opening credits started to roll, he pulled you with him onto the bed, positioning you into his lap, your back against his chest, cuddling up to you.

“Dude, don’t hog our sweetheart,” Marko complained, already next to you and draping your legs over his lap.

Dwayne handed you a mug of hot choco before settling down on your other side, taking one of your hands in his. Not having any more room right around you, David draped himself over the foot of your bed, resting his head against one of your pillows. He didn’t mind it, the precious moments the two of you shared in the bathroom earlier satiated his need for your attention.

Not long after everyone settled, right before the movie really started to pick up, you felt Dwayne gently squeeze your hand. Glancing up at him, you already found him looking at you, his eyes filled with fondness.

“If you feel like you’re starting to sink again, just tell us,” he whispered. “We’ll be there. We will always be there.”

You heart swelled at his words, nodding that you understood. And you did. You knew that after this night, you bond with them will be even stronger, your trust even deeper, and your love even more all-consuming.

[brooooswriting]

Hey can I request a fic with Jenna or Tara up to you but it’s like reader is not used to people listening and liking her rambling about something she’s passionate about like super hero’s and comics for example and then Jenna or Tara actually do listen without stopping her and saying she’s annoying and then reader gets all giddy and happy

Own world

Popular!Tara Carpenter x reader

“Did you see the Marvel movie I recommended? It’s really great, the way-“ you couldn’t even finish your sentence before your roommate turned away to talk to someone else which made your shoulder sink. This was quite common, your friends never really listened to you, no matter how important the topic was to you. You loved films, it was just a passion of yours as it gave you some sense of comfort in a shitty household. It was also something to do when everybody else was out but you stayed in due to anxiety. You never guessed today would be different.

“Which one? The new guardian of the galaxy?” A small brunette asked, you didn’t even notice her sit down. She must have sat down while you were quiet for a second after you were interrupted. “N-no, the black widow one” you mumbled out carefully, deciding to keep your sentences short, it minimized the risk of getting cut off. “That’s a great one, the Dynamic between Natasha and Yelena is awesome” she smiled at you. You took a second to look at the girl, she was familiar somehow, you believed that she was in your calculus lecture. “Yeah, it’s nice” you mumbled as you played with your water bottle, you guys had a break but you didn’t like eating in front of people. “And she has never watched it?” The girl asked causing you to shake your head, “well which other marvel movie would you recommend and why?” Your face lit up immediately, hers did too. “Oh, the new Thor movie is quite nice, it has a lot of comedy to it but still maintains a balance between jokes and actual storyline. But if you like leading female roles you should watch the new black panther…” you were, again, interrupted by your roommate who now just noticed the brunette in front of you.

“Omg Tara, when did you sit down? I didn’t even notice you, or I would have rescued you earlier” the side eye that was thrown your way was pretty hard but what was even harder was how the brunette, Tara it seems, laughed. You thought she was dearly interested but you were wrong. With disappointment settled into your chest you stood up and walked away, deciding to go back to your dorm room to read some comics you just got. You didn’t notice the way Tara watched you walk away.

The next time you saw her was the next day in your calculus lecture, she sat a row in front of you with two other girls and two guys, while you sat alone. You knew one of the girls that sat next to her, Mindy, she was in your lecture about film and you worked some project together. The short haired girl turned around and waved at you which made you smile as you waved back.

During the lecture you glanced at the group every now and then to notice the following things: 1. One of the guys was watching football while the other one was weirdly starring at Tara, 2. Mindy was asleep by now and her girlfriend was doing some work for another lecture and 3. Tara was clearly not getting shit down there and she was the next person that had to pretend, which made her panic.

“Psst, Tara” you mumbled lightly kicking her chair which made her turn, “come up here and I’ll explain it and give you my work” you told her looking straight ahead so the prof wouldn’t notice. In a matter of seconds the girl climbed over the table and sat next to you, “you’re my savior” she mumbled out as she scribbled your answers down while you explained why you did what. “Miss Carpenter, it’s your turn presenting” the prof called out causing her to stand up, she gave you one last look. You nodded at her as a signal of support.

“Wow, I gotta say I’m impressed. This is the best you’ve been the whole year, seems like you improved. Well, lecture is over” you quickly packed your bag and walked out before the brunette came back up but she seemed to be quick enough to still catch up outside. She stood next to you and grabbed your arm to bring you to a hold, “thanks, you really saved me there. Let me take you out for coffee as a thank you” she smiled at you as you two stood in the middle of the hall, people watching you. It was uncommon, someone as popular as Tara with someone as shy as you.

“You don’t have to, but thank you. I just saw you struggle so I thought I could help, and I’m happy I could, you really don’t though. Mr. Bakers exercises are pretty hard most of the time so I totally get why you struggled” Tara watched you ramble with a small smile, she liked when you rambled. She had been watching you for a couple of weeks now, in the lecture and out on campus, or when you were with Mindy. “As much as I like your rambling, I’m taking you out for coffee. You still gotta tell me a bit” she grabbed your wrist again and pulled you into a caffe on the other side of the street.

She ordered and after a small argument also payed your food. “So, are you at the frat parts tonight?” She asked as you walked over the campus with coffee in hand, “no” you mumbled as you played with the cup in your hand. “Why not? I bet it’s gonna be fun” she smiled at you, she liked your shyness. “I don’t really like big parties especially if I barely know anyone, too many people and I still have stuff do to for the classes” you explained, “you would know me and Mindy and your roommate is gonna be there too right?” You only shrugged which caused her to drop the conversation.

“Tara, nice to see you” one girl you didn’t know called out which caused the two of you to stop. “Hey, how are you?” Tara asked the girl as she gave her a quick hug, you zoned out while they talked not noticing that they walked away, but it seems like they also didn’t notice that you didn’t walk with them. When you zoned back again they were kinda gone already, so you decided to turn around and head to the dorms throwing your coffee into the trash.

It was 10:30 pm when you sat in your dorm watching the Hawkeye series again until there was a knock on the door which confused you, your roommate only left 20 minutes ago there was no way she would be back already. So you finally stood up and opened the door to see Tara in a short dress with makeup on. She looked ready to go, so why would she be here? “Hi” she only said as she looked up at you, “what can I do for you?” You asked her as you looked over her shoulder. “You disappeared today, I wanted to check on you” you breathed out a laugh at her words, “you left with somebody else. I though you wanted to go to the party” she sighed as she looked into the dorm. “I did but I think I’d rather stay with you” your face bushed so hard that you tried to cover your face as best as possible. Nonetheless you took a step to the side to let the girl enter your dorm where she was quick to look around your side.

There were posters from the marvel movies and some pictures on the wall, the shelf’s were filled with comics and some books. “So what are we watching? She asked as she sat on your bed, making herself at home, “I was watching the Hawkeye series but we can watch whatever” you mumbled as you sat next to her. “Is that with the guy who shoots arrows?” You laughed a bit as you sat down next to her, “yeah, Hawkeye or Clint Barton but it isn’t just about him”

Five minutes later you were rambling about what kind of impact someone like Kate bishop had on the whole phase and what could possibly happen between Yelena and her. You were talking on and on without any pause, a smile on your face and your hands wildly gesticulating. “I mean it’s just something different you know? And the way they keep on putting more women into the leading roles just gives us as women a totally new opportunity” and again you just kept on talking until you suddenly stopped and just looked at the brunette in front of you. “What’s wrong? Why’d you stop?” She asked as she scanned your face, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to talk the whole time and annoy you” you said as you tuned away from her a bit. “What? Why’d you say that? I was very interested, come on keep talking” she encouraged you with a hand on your leg. “Really?” The shock on your face made her laugh a bit, “yeah”

So you kept talking, you were all giddy, smiling and laughing as you explained why you were so invested and she listened, sometimes asking questions but all with a smile on her face. “Do you maybe wanna, you know, stay and watch it with me? I could lend you something to wear if you want” she smiled brightly as she nodded.

Ten minutes later you two laid in bed in joggers and hoodies, her makeup was washed off showing her natural beauty. The Hawkeye series was playing in the background, “thank you” your voice was small and she wouldn’t have heard you if you weren’t laying so close. “Why?” She asked as she looked at you instead of you laptop, “because you listened to me, people barely do” you explained which made her sigh. The younger carpenter wasn’t sure what to say so instead she just shuffled closer and cuddled up to you.

Somewhere between the episode the two of you fell asleep, cuddled up with the series playing quietly. You woke up the next morning with a sticky note next to your pillow, it was from Tara.

“I had to go back before my sister kills me. Lunch at 2pm? If not call me

Xxx-xxx-xxx”

You smiled at the note as you got ready.

After some torturing lectures it was finally 2 pm. You went outside to find Tara and her group sitting at a table, she immediately waved you over. “Y/n, good that you’re here. Marvel or DC?” Mindy asked as Tara pulled you to sit next to her. “Marvel all the way” you answered causing Mindy and the younger carpenter to high-five. “No, so not true. DC has way better storylines” Chad said, his twin immediately booing him. “Y/n, tell him how he is wrong” the girl next to you said, but you were to self conscious about your rambling. “It’s fine, trust me” she mumbled as she wrapped her arms around your waist which gave you the comfort to start talking.

This was the first time in years that you finally had someone who wanted to listen to you. You discussed the topics with the others while Tara gazed up at you like you hung the stars.

Again you mumbled a “thank you” to her which made her kiss your cheek. You blushing again

She couldn’t wait to take you on a date.

You were scared of the way people were going to react.

[oathena11-writes]

DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN NANOWRIMO

Time to talk about something I haven’t really talked about before.

Nanowrimo. You know the challenge to write 50k in a month? That starts in November, and usually people start coming out of hibernation to start planning for that now.

And to plan, they often find their way to the forums to find others who are gearing up and thinking about turning October into Preptober.

Only… the forums are closed this year. Why is that?

Well… https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSYcdosGLoPFI_Dc--vuC9Bl4-OUFGcmHgBRt2aHSRVWBPc6su4AMFY5iDgZGyC379Zm8C7zhBd2zuf/pub

Wait sorry that’s a long document though as someone who has been keeping up with this since late October 2023 and knows a lot about what’s going on, this is the most accurate summary I know of offhand.

So… short version? NaNo has been crumbling for a while, between dismissing people’s dislike of the 2019 redesign, not handling conflict well in general, leaving MLs feeling unsupported and unappreciated, and allowing a culture to grow in which a forum mod became the sole moderator of a fast moving teen forum.

This forum mod was accused of grooming. Several people compiled evidence to show why they believed that. The staff at NaNo did nothing. They claimed an investigation happened but no action was taken for months.

I read through a thread where many concerns were discussed and barely listened to. I watched many members of the community went from hopeful and believing in the organization to angry and disheartened over the course of several months after being treated like children, being told things would happen that never did change.

Then things came to a boiling point in November, and the Board got involved. They shut down the forums and started investigating. We had hope. Then they started treating us the same way the staff had.

There are currently no known MLs as all were removed before April, as they need to be vetted and go through some training, only there’s no word on when that is going to happen.

There were barely any proper events during April and July, and some events NaNo advertised were hosted by their sponsors.

There’s a lot more that I could get into, but I think the more I try to explain the more likely I am to get it wrong and there is enough misinformation about this controversy out there.

For now, the latest is this post on zen desk about AI.

Yeah… I have no faith left. Do not even look at NaNo’s official site. They don’t deserve to think they’re getting people to participate. Especially since all they want is money these days.

If you’re looking for a substitute word tracker, I highly recommend trackbear.app. It’s still in beta, but I’ve been using it all year, and I enjoy it. There’s a goals option that includes the graph and par line we all enjoyed with NaNo, and there’s leaderboards to have fun with your friends.

[fatkish]

I would love to hear more about how Hawks and Endeavor take care of the Phoenix child and how Aizawa would react if the Phoenix child is placed in his class.

-🦦

Hawks and endeavor x phoenix child reader

When Enji first brought reader home, Shoto and Natsuo were extremely cold and rejected reader, Fuyumi was somewhat welcoming?

When shoto learned that Enji plans to train the reader due to their powerful quirk, he immediately became protective of the reader, and tried to warn them

When shoto confronted the reader about Enji’s training, the reader revealed that they need the strict guiding from endeavor and revealed their past to shoto, as well as their burns from their quirk

Shoto, and reader, with Enji’s approval, begin to train together, reader flies around and destroys shoto’s ice, and Enji and Hawks both make recommendations so that both reader and Shoto are placed in the recommendation exam.

Reader and Shoto are the same age and act like siblings. Reader tries to help Shoto see that Enji clearly has no idea what he’s doing in regards to parenting but that he’s trying.

Reader has a tendency to space off which is when Shoto will redirect their attention and helps them study.

Reader, secretly acts as a spy for Enji, they give him advice for things that Shoto should learn like, hand to hand combat, weapon usage, first aid, etc. since Shoto won’t listen to Enji himself, reader helps by suggesting things to Shoto, that they then study and learn together

Reader has a fear of cats to which Aizawa helps them get over by bringing them to a cat café. Things go well until a cat bites reader, and they begin to cry, jumping into Aizawa‘s arms, telling him that the cat wants to eat them. Aizawa uses the reader’s fear of cats to ‘motivate’ them. The reader is also very wary of the pussycats during the training camp

When reader isn’t in class, one day, shoto explains that the reader is currently nesting and is broody since they’ll be laying an egg. Aizawa has to take a moment to remember that the reader is nonbinary, and realizes that Todoroki wasn’t joking about the reader laying eggs. Hawks isn’t allowed near them when they’re broody and nesting

Hawks tends to act like a fun Uncle to the reader or an older sibling. Every time reader has a birthday on a school day, Hawks takes his lunch hour and spends it with the reader having lunch with them. The HPSC were originally upset about this but upon seeing his fan’s reaction to him being a good ‘adoptive big brother’ to the reader, they have no choice but to let it slide as Hawks could always use good publicity that he genuinely cares about doing

When Aizawa learns about the reader’s past especially with their parents and how they rejected the reader despite being Heteromorphs themselves or having family members who are, he sits down with the reader and asks them to explain the whole Heteromorph discrimination thing as well as the nonbinary culture

Reader explains to Aizawa, with the help of Shoji and other Heteromorph students, that despite the fact that a ‘normal appearance’ isn’t really a thing anymore, there are still specific groups of people who hate and fear Heteromorphs, even within the Heteromorph community

Aizawa, realizing how much this discrimination has and can negatively impact the mental health and self esteem of his students, then asks the students involved if there is anything that the school can do for them. This leads to the reader as well as other Heteromorph students, going to each of their respective grades classes, and explaining and teaching their peers about the different ways Heteromorphs are discriminated against and how to help in those situations

These classes are taught to the entire school from the hero course to the business course. Nedzu was thrilled and also disheartened by the fact that there are students who have been treated this way simply because of their looks and has set up a group counseling program for Heteromorph students

[blackswan446]

partyisntover.

→ pairing: yan!kth x reader

→ "we could still dance"

→ wc: 1556

→ cws: drugging, kidnapping, slight sexual innuendos

→ notes: this is inspired by one of my favorite songs, specifically the first part "PartyIsntOver", it's by tyler, the creator, and i would recommend listening to (the whole song obviously cus its fire) but specifically PartyIsntOver before/while reading :) enjoy!

parties were like your safe space. it was a strange thing to say, but it was true. for some odd reason, you always felt more at home at a bustling party than your actual house. maybe it was something about the anonymity of parties, how for one night, you could become whoever you wanted, hide the vulnerable parts of yourself within the dim lights and use the alcohol as an excuse if things were to get out of hand.

or perhaps, you just liked the chaos. raised to be a good, studious girl, you didn't get out much for your entire childhood. everything was meticulous, planned out, by-the-book. there was no room for spontaneity, or a new adventure, or even a happy accident. it was nice for a while, having the assurance that nothing would ever go wrong, but after so many years of it, you grew sick of the blandness. it was then, you realized that describing your life as "calm" and "peaceful" was masking the sad reality of it: that your life was dull.

so, the second you left the house, (literally, the minute your parents drove away from your college), you went out and found something to do. that is, you walked into the first random celebration you happened upon while strolling, and you were hooked. now your life revolved around parties, and gatherings, and events, and any excuse to throw on a nice dress and do something fun with new people. and honestly? you wouldn't have it any other way. in a way, it felt as if your inner child was being healed, like you were finally fulfilling the dreams of a little girl who just wanted to have fun.

taehyung, on the other hand, hated parties. he despised the loud music, the drunk people and their sweaty bodies, thrashing around in a closed off space, forming a pit of body odor and bad decisions. not to mention the feeling of social inferiority that he felt when he was there, and the way he just stood around, drinking whatever poison was shoved into his hand by a drunk rando didn't help his case. yet he kept showing up, every single time, he always came back, for one reason.

you.

he couldn't explain it, but the two of you, you completed each other. the yin to his yang. and the two of you, together, would create the perfect balance that you needed, that he needed. hell, just looking at you, his heart was relieved of the negative emotions that came with the social ostracization. like the confidence and happiness that bloomed in your heart was sent to his, traveling by a long, invisible string connecting the two. he knew that it would take work, and the very type of meticulous planning that you grew to hate. he wasn't someone you'd even look at. but he had determination, a drive to achieve lifelong joy, the same type he felt whenever he looked at you.

of course, he had already started by removing the obvious disturbances to fate. he tore them up, burned some of them, dissolved others, and some of them he just buried. it didn't matter where they wound up, as long as they weren't stepping on the string, he didn't care. but they were all gone now, and he could undo the final loop, the one that stopped the string from drawing a straight line from you to him, the one that would finally make things so much clearer. of course, it was a little extreme, but taehyung always took precautions. he couldn't risk the string tangling up again, and how would that happen if there was nothing for it to get caught on?

spying you from across the packed room, you were holding a drink, in your element. somehow, the painful colored lights did wonders for you, the reds and blues giving your skin a purple hue. all he could do was look from the shadows, and wait to catch your eyes. and catch they did, as it was only a few minutes before they met, and with a smirk, approached you.

you could talk later, after all, you'd have all the time in the world to talk and get to know each other after tonight. for now, he just wanted to do what he had to do and get you both out of there. you smiled at him, giving him a shouted greeting. he smiled back and leaned down towards your ear. "the party isn't over yet. want to dance?" he offered, reaching out his hand to lead you to the dance floor.

you nodded, since it was too loud to give him an actual response, and took his hand. he smiled, and weaved through the mass of people holding you tight as he did so. you found yourself in a small corner of the dance floor, away from the large crowd of people in the center. you were surprised at him, since you had seen him around at a few parties, and never saw him dance or even talk to other people. but he wasted no time in grabbing your hips and swaying the both of you along with the music. not that you didn't appreciate his forwardness, you actually enjoyed it, and it didn't take long for you to follow his lead.

"good song, hm?" he asked, leaning down so far that his head was basically in the crook of your neck. you nodded shyly, the heat in your face hopefully being hidden by the colored lights. he gave a short, husky laugh in your ear, as his feet twisted up with yours. "sorry about that, i'm not the best dancer." he apologized. you smirked, turning around to face him. standing up to talk into his ear, you laughed back. "if you're such a bad dancer, then why am i out here with you?" you asked cheekily, smiling as you took a sip of your drink.

what a shame you were facing backwards that whole time. if you weren't, maybe you would've seen the little bag of white powder taehyung dumped into your drink. maybe you could've thrown out the drink, slapped him in the face, and gone home. what a damn shame.

he shrugged his shoulders. "you're taking a chance, i guess." he shouted back, grabbing your waist again and pulling you in closer to him. as your head hit his chest, you felt the room spin violently, too violently to match the level of alcohol you had drank that night. suddenly, the music felt too loud yet muffled and far away. the strobing lights were giving you a migraine, and your legs felt like wet spaghetti.

taehyung picked up on your weakness, right away, almost as if he were expecting it. "woah, okay. have a few too many, princess?" he joked, clasping his arms around you tighter. you shook your head, the idea of forming words and annunciating them too much for you to stomach. he laughed, shaking his head in amusement. "come on, you, let's get you out of here. come on." he told you, reaching his arm under your knees and scooping you off your legs, your drink falling from your limp hands and its contents spilling out onto the floor.

you tried to shake your head more, tell him you were okay, but your movement was too weak as everything in your line of vision began to bleed into one another. he laughed again, as he moved his way through the crowd, you heard the noise of the party fade away, the sound of his voice now amplified in your ears. it was only now that you could hear the darkness in his voice, finally being unveiled as the street lights shined above you.

"god, i can't wait to get you home. we're going to have some fun, aren't we?" he murmured, hands digging further into your legs as he struggled to open the door to his car. that was enough to send you into an adrenaline overdrive, shooting your head up as he laid you gently on the car seats. "huh?!" you sputtered, trying to grab for anything you could to fight back.

"i said, 'your night out is done'. you're drunk, sweetheart, you need to go to sleep, okay? just shut your eyes." he pleaded, standing in between your legs as he stroked your cheek softly. you shook your head, weakly, but you still did it, trying to kick your legs to get him away. he grabbed your calves, stilling the thrashing motions. "stop it. i need to bring you home." he growled, "i'm doing this because i love you."

you looked around helplessly as you struggled to comprehend what he said. "what?" you choked, as he shut the back door and got into the driver's seat. "nothing, princess. just go to sleep. it'll all be good when you wake up, okay?" he comforted, starting the ignition and driving away from the bustling house.

you could feel the strands of consciousness slip out of your hands, and felt yourself falling into the abyss of something deeper than sleep. the last remnants of a thought that you could piece together were ones of panic, and the last thing you could see as your eyes fell shut, was taehyung's glare in the rearview mirror.

[skzhua]

Episode two.

MASTERLIST

pairing: XO, Kitty's Min Ho x Female Reader

genre: Fluff, angst, enemies-to-lovers, slow burn, coming-of-age.

word count: 2.4k

warnings: Painfully obvious hate-flirting, some swearing.

summary: Transferring to KISS was the last thing you had asked for and, yet, a certain tall boy made it seem both worse and better than you expected.

note: Bold - Korean, Italic - Over the phone

a/n: I changed the first part because it didn't match with the show so I recommend you go reread it if you read it in the first ten hours I posted it.

note: Bold - Korean, Italic - Over the phone

(let me know by filling the form in my bio if you want to be added to the taglist!)

"What plan?"

You deadpanned at her. "From what I've seen last, you had something with Juliana, no?"

Her body stiffened and her hold on Dae, that was already tight enough, only got firmer. You and Yuri had some sort of forced friendship but it didn't mean you hated each other's guts. It was quite the opposite. She respected you, you respected her – it was a two-way thing. Still, she wouldn't be the kind to involve you in her problems but you weren't stupid. You knew of her and Juliana and this was beyond odd that she was so suddenly in a relationship with Dae.

"It's complicated." she said with a gulp. Seeing that you weren't convinced, she sighed. "I'll explain later, I promise."

She and Dae left and you found yourself alone so you joined Q again and were displeased to see that his friend had not left his side.

"And you're back." he sighed only to earn a glare from Q.

"Min Ho, stop that." You thanked mentally Q for informing you of his name. "Don't mind him, he's in a mood today." he tried to defend him but it clearly didn't work considering you rolled your eyes in a dramatic way.

"Do you want me to help you find your owner, little puppy? I think you're lost." he joked.

"Shove it in your ass, will you?"

Q held his hands up to separate the two of you while you were in a glaring battle. Thankfully, Kitty came back which only seemed to affect Min Ho's mood even more.

"Excuse me." she interrupted you.

"This girl treats Korean guys like Pokémon. She's trying to catch them all." Min Ho complained and you rolled your eyes again. "Not interested." he said to Kitty in a stern voice.

"Get over yourself, I'm looking for Dae." she replied harshly.

Q looked more confused than ever. "Okay, who are you?"

"I'm Kitty Song Covey."

The two men opened their mouths agape as if they suddenly had a revelation.

"You're Kitty?"

Her eyes grew bigger too and she pointed at Q. "Wait, are you Q? Track star, fellow American, heart of gold?"

He nodded happily. "Guilty as charged. I feel like we should hug right now, should we hug?

You weren't understanding a thing about what was going on but you listened nonetheless, curious on how they knew each other.

"Maybe later, I need to find Dae."

You laughed. "Okay, so you two are Dae's friends which is why she knows you and you know her?"

"You are unfortunately right, I think." Min Ho affirmed boringly and then looked at Kitty. "So you're the pen pal?"

She huffed. "If he's Q, then you must be Min Ho... Of course you are."

He shrugged as a smirk appeared on his face. You scoffed too which caught his attention.

"I told you I'm getting stalked."

"Oh, please. You just wish you were."

He came closer to you to hover over your small figure. "You're one feisty puppy, aren't you?"

Your heart skipped a beat and you looked up at him in silence, unsure of what you were supposed to say.

"Whatever. Where's Dae?" Kitty said, impatient.

You looked around with her and spotted him with Yuri as they were discussing with Jina. She thanked you and rushed to go to them.

"It's almost sad to see her go after him like that."

You grunted in frustration. "Do you ever shut up?"

Min Ho's smug face appeared once again. "Make me."

"Okay!" Q coughed awkwardly. "That's enough. How about we go meet some people, yeah?"

You heard a yelp from behind and turned around right away as soon as you recognized Kitty's voice.

"Oh, shit." you whispered to yourself and ran to her.

Before you could get to her, she slipped again and fell in the cupcakes. Dae was quick to come to her help but she brushed him off. She did, however, gladly accepted that you helped her get up before leading her outside.

Ending the night comforting someone you barely knew as you waited for the airline to answer her call was not what you had expected. School hadn't even started and, yet, there was already more drama than you could handle.

"Are you sure you want to leave? You said you weren't here just for a boy."

She shook her head. "I can't stay here and see him walk around with her. It's too painful."

"Yuri's my friend, I can talk to her."

"Don't. You're nice but I don't want to cause trouble to the two of you."

The front door of the dorm suddenly opened and went shut seconds later. You were about to get up to see what it was until you heard a voice you'd rather not recognize.

"Spill it!" Min Ho exclaimed. "When did you get with Yuri? And when? And how far?"

"And most importantly, why?" Q added.

"Dae, you little scammer!" Min Ho teased.

You cursed at yourself mentally. You should have guessed you were in the boy dorms as soon as you saw the gym bag in the other room. And to top it all, it had to be where Q, Dae, and Minho were staying.

Kitty joined you at the door to listen but you were already in the process of packing your things up. There was no way you were going to be living with men for an entire semester, even less if it involved Min Ho who had managed to make it to your hate list on your first encounter.

"No one's going to blame you for upgrading from a pen pal to an actual girlfriend." he continued to argue with Dae.

Kitty let out a scoff and her hand went up to her mouth when she realized they must have heard.

"Marius?"

"Good going, Kitty." you whispered to her and you both went to hide under your covers.

You heard them walk in and struggle for a bit to take the blanket off Kitty. They hadn't approached your bed yet. They screamed as they finally managed to get the covers off, revealing Kitty who was screaming as loud as they were. As they all ran outside of the room, you uncovered yourself and then followed behind. They were already in shock from Kitty's presence, yours wouldn't be a surprise at that point.

"Dae's crazy ex-pen pal broke into our dorm to murder us." Min Ho breathed out.

You walked into the living room, arms crossed. "For once, you don't blame it on stalking." you said and they jumped as they saw you, Min Ho holding a laptop up in defense.

Kitty got her file and shoved it to their faces. "This is my room."

"What about you?" Q asked you as he took Kitty's document.

"Same." you shrugged and watched Min Ho put the laptop away.

"You're listed as Song Covey." he said after reading the form.

"So?" Kitty frowned.

"Song can be a guy's name. That's why they assigned you to the guy's dorm." Dae sighed.

"That explains for her but Y/N?" Min Ho asked, eyeing you up and down in disgust.

"It might be because the girl's dorms are full or something, I don't know." you responded, unsure yourself on why you were there.

He took the document himself and read it only to sighed in exasperation. "They did this on purpose! To be closer to Dae, and me."

"And just when I thought you aren't so full of yourself..." you said in a whisper.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

He shook his head. "I told you lot, she was hitting me on the plane ride here." He turned to you. "And she hit on me earlier."

"Alright, I'm done here."

You went back to your room and shut the door close. This day was overwhelming enough, all you needed was to sleep. You were going to fix the dorm issue tomorrow.

You woke up to Kitty opening your room's door carefully while she hung up on someone. You got up and tapped on her shoulder, making her almost scream in fear.

"Don't do that again, please." she said after catching her breath.

"You're leaving this morning?"

"Yeah..."

You nodded your head slowly. "I'm glad we met. Have a safe flight."

To your surprise, she hugged you tightly before walking around Dae, who had visibly slept at the door for the night, and went out of the dorm.

You went back to bed and scrolled through your social medias to see what was new. You came upon a video of Yuri's father who was scolding his employees. The next one was the same video but ended with lettuce emojis. You let out a laugh and opened your Kakaotalk.

Y/N: Your dad is going viral.

Yuri: I saw ㅋㅋ

Y/N: Good luck to them for fixing it all.

Yuri: Yeah, it won't be easy.

Yuri: I want to talk, by the way. About last night.

Y/N: You don't have to explain yourself. I'm happy you found someone, whoever it is.

Yuri: Thank you, that means a lot.

You were typing a reply but stopped when you heard someone knocking at your door.

"Kitty." Dae said in a pleading voice. "Me and Yuri, it's not real. It's all fake."

You gasped quietly. Although shocking, it wasn't that surprising considering it involved Yuri.

"Will you just open the door? I can explain everything, Kitty."

You grunted and shoved your pillow over your head. This whole thing had nothing to do with you and, yet, here you were.

"Begging is not a good look."

And he was awake now? Starting your day with your roommate running away, her boyfriend begging to talk with her, Min Ho mocking him... just great.

"I wasn't begging, I was just trying to get my pants." Dae said in defense.

Right, you forgot. This was originally his room.

"Listen, you squatter." Min Ho said, taking over Dae's spot as his voice seemed to be louder than it was seconds ago. "We have to get ready for the first day of school."

You didn't answer, wanting to stay in bed for a bit longer. Plus, if this meant that you were pissing Min Ho off by not opening the door, this was another reason not to do so.

"Don't make us late!" he said impatiently before pounding loudly on the door.

You saw it open by itself and self-noted to remind them that they might want to fix that. Because your bed wasn't directly in their view, they didn't notice you yet.

"And she's gone." Q sighed.

"Sweet."

"Dae, don't worry about it, we'll-"

He stopped talking when he saw that Dae left too. You groaned as you got off the bed which made them turn to face you.

"You're still here?" Min Ho asked dramatically.

"No, I left last night and what you're seeing right now is your imagination."

Q held back a laugh but Min Ho was not having it. "Whatever. I'm making coffee if you want some." he informed and went to the kitchen.

You and Q followed and you leaned on the counter. "Yes, please. I didn't know you were enough of a gentleman to offer me coffee."

He huffed. "This is called basic manners and because I'm not a monster, I could make you a cup."

"So thoughtful, Min Ho."

Q sighed. "This is painful to watch. I'm going to the bathroom real quick."

With that, he went back to his room which meant there was only you and Min Ho in the kitchen. The silence was almost unbearable but the sound of the coffee machine filled it a bit. But not enough to ease the tension.

"I hope you know I still don't want you here."

"Trust me, I don't want to be here either." you agreed.

"Good."

"Good."

And there it was again, the silence. Q joined you two and the coffee was finally ready. After serving you a cup, Min Ho sat down next to his friend and served him his.

"Have you two seen the news?" you asked and Q shook his head. "You might want to see it."

Min Ho took his laptop that he had previously used to threaten you and opened it for the three of you to watch the infamous lettuce video. You heard the front door open but you were too immersed in watching that you didn't budge.

"Dae, have you seen this video? It's kind of blowing up." Q yelled at to who you supposed was Dae.

"I bet Yuri is loving this drama." Min Ho added.

You hummed in agreement. "She is, for sure."

"I don't particularly care." you heard a voice that was too feminine to be Dae.

Turning around, you smiled. "Kitty!"

Min Ho whined in annoyance. "I thought you left."

"I did!" she nodded. "But then I decided to stay. And not that it's any of your business but this isn't all about a boy."

"Oh, sweetie." Q said as a way to comfort her.

You couldn't blame him, it did look as if she was trying to convince herself it wasn't.

"My mom went here, and, I don't know, being here makes me feel closer to her than I ever have. And-"

Her mood changed in a second and she squinted to look closer at the screen that was still playing the news.

"Dae's on TV?" she exclaimed loudly, confused.

You scooted away to leave her some space, not realizing you were almost fully leaning on Min Ho. He was about to push you away but you faces came close which cut his breath short. You saw his Adam's apple bop as he gulped in nervousness.

"... And, 'lettuce' move on." you heard Dae say which broke you out of your trance.

"Well played." Q chuckled.

"Oh my god." Kitty said out loud and pushed you away to see the screen even closer.

You fell onto Min Ho again and he rolled his eyes while helping you get off him. "Stop trying with me, little puppy."

You wanted to argue back but Kitty spoke before you could say anything. "He's faking it. That's a fake relationship!"

She took a step back and her eyes brightened as if she had discovered the biggest secret on Earth. Meanwhile, you debated whether to confirm her assumption or not. Because Dae literally said it when you woke up, that him and Yuri was a fake show.

Now, it was on you to decide what to do with this information.

taglist: @nanaspalette | @schniti-is-in-the-house | @bakugou-katsukis-wife | @soobin-chois

Copyright © 2023 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[ghostybaby000]

After Hours | Part 4

Part 1 Part 5

Pairing: Simon Ghost Riley x reader

Summary: I recommend going back to part one (above) to begin this juicy read!

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: 18+, guns, yelling, light flirting, future smut

(Not fully edited, apologies fro any inconsistencies!)

The next few days you found yourself thinking over your lesson with Simon and how you had wanted to tell your manager that things had changed. You still felt anger, not as greatly as before but enough so that it made you feel physically hot when thinking for too long of it. You broke from your thoughts as an ad came over the television, something about pain relief or migraines. You took the break from your show to grab a snack and make your way back to the couch. 

It had been 3 days since you had worked, and it left you feeling bored and lonely not having any sort of interactions with people other than the occasional text or call. There was no attempt to try and change the incredibly rude managers mind about working so you decided to try and improve on things you hadn’t gotten to do. You had found ways to entertain yourself by going for walks or trying new recipes, anything that kept you moving and out of a slum. If you had let yourself sit in bed you may not have ever wanted to leave. 

The rest of the day is calm, the small house noises making it feel all the more abandoned. The tick of the old clock in the living room, the hum of the fan in the bedroom, the sounds the washing machine made you feel drowsy. Enough so that you decided to drift into a nap, one that you felt was deserved after the day’s chores.

You felt yourself jolt awake to the sound of your phone ringing on the countertop. You scramble to get to the phone, not wanting to keep the person on the other line upset. You slide on the wooden floor as your socks and sleepiness weren’t helping to make your way up and over quickly, finally reaching your phone and reading the bright screen. 

‘Manager Trevor’ You let out a sigh that made you feel a little dizzy after sitting down at the counter, you had to pick up. 

‘Hello?’ You sounded tired and tried to clear your throat before speaking again.

‘Yes, hello Y/N. It’s about time-I tried calling you 3 times already you think you would of answered.’ He sounded angry, as if he had been speaking yet again to someone in a harsh and rude manner. 

‘I apologize, I fell asleep. What did you call fo-‘ you had been cut off when he began speaking again, not to your surprise. 

‘Yeah listen- I need you to come in this week, the rest of the week in fact.’ Your eyes opened father now, his words taking an extra moment to process. 

‘I thought I wasn’t mean to come in, you said I shouldn’t because of the pay.’ You wiped your eyes as you took a moment to look outside, it was dark. A quick glance to the clock had shown you that it was past eight o’clock and you had slept for far too many hours. 

‘Yes I’m aware of what I said, Y/N. I’m telling you now I need you to come in, for reasons I don’t have to explain to you-so can you come in or not?’ Silence sat on the line as you heard him huff, a clear indicator that you shouldn’t say no. You had needed the money anyways and decided to just be grateful he called you and not another worker. 

‘Yes I can come in, no problem.’ You both gave a short goodnight as you let the phone sit back on the counter. 

You had work, you would be able to pay the mortgage, you would be able to see Simon again! You had thought before of Simon and his lesson to you, trying to remember the stances he and taught you, and even how to hold the gun. In the shower you found yourself holding the invisible weapon pointing it at a shampoo, and when doing laundry you tried to remember the foot and hip stances. You find your heart rate picking up as you recognized that this week you might learn to fire the gun, although it still made you a bit nervous when considering how much time it had been since you had last held the weapon. While this was true, the gun had nothing on the nervousness you felt when he had touched you that day, something you promised to not forget. 

The next morning you make your way into the same building, settling into your position and starting your work. You felt good working, and chatting with those who came in asking about where you had been in the previous days. This pattern repeated as you kept working the next day and the day after that, when you saw him again. 

He had come in with an extra to the usual group, making 4 men walking through the shop looking at the ammo and chatting about what would be best for the day. Ghost didn’t motion towards you or even look in your direction, as if your lesson had never happened. You didn’t take it to heart as this was how he treated you before the interaction, and told yourself that it was typical behavior for him. 

The four came up to the desk, purchased their things and headed to leave the shop. Ghost had held the door with one arm, the other holding ammunition as the rest of the group shuffled out of the small shop, taking the smallest moment to look to you. You met his glance as he gave a small head nod, and let the door to the shop close with a chime. You felt your palms become sweaty as a small smile found its way across your face. The butterflies were so pestering now that you couldn’t ignore them raging in your stomach, and decided to have lunch. 

The next few days were all the same, no sight of Ghost or his colleagues in the shop, speaking with a few people about the weather and plans for the summer, your manager giving remarks that left you feeling nasty. It was now time to close the shop, the same visions of your interactions with Simon playing through your head as you heard rain pattering on the tin roof while you locked the door. You felt yourself smile again at the thought of shooting with him tomorrow night as you made your way to your car. 

The next day you wait with baited breath as customers come in and out of the shop, it was a busy day now and you had to pull yourself into a work mindset to get to everyone in a timely manner. You did your job well, making sure everyone had been attended to all the while being friendly and approachable. The day came to a slow end as the customers died down, only now returning golf cart keys and giving their good evenings to leave. You felt yourself sadden, realizing that through your rush of customers you hadn’t seen Ghost or his usual group. You had waited for tonight like a child waiting for a candy store to open, eager for more the second the store closes.

 Your manager was leaving now, a few hours earlier than you had expected-not that you would complain of such a thing, not taking time to say goodnight or bother with a wave as he left through the back exit. Your eyes were now slowing as they looked out the windows to the front of the shop, your heart began to sink. You had been so busy earlier-there wasn’t a chance that you had missed him was there? Military men and women had been checking in and out frequently but you were sure that you would have noticed his typical group had you seen their faces. The last few customers made their way in, leaving you with a goodnight or wave goodbye and you had decided that you would lock up and go home. Your energy from the day had already been depleted, taking a short lunch to help customers had made you feel tired and you needed to rest. 

You begin to pack up your things, taking notice of all the rooms in the building to ensure they were empty, before grabbing your things from your locker with a huff. You made your way out into the main room, turning off the lights as you paced through the building, the only light being the one in front room that you could disable before walking out. You reach down to pick up the lock box from under the desk when you hear it. 

*tunk*tunk*tunk* you freeze.

 Taking a small breath in you slowly stand from where you had been crouched, someone was tapping on the window. 

[atthebell]

do you have any recommendations/resources to learn spanish?? i've been using busuu for about 104 days now, imo opinion it's actually pretty fun and i like it but i think my main problem with it is that it goes too fast?? it's hard to explain. it's also started to feel kinda repetitive to me. i still love busuu and i'm going to continue with my course, but it'd be nice to also have something else. like, preferably not an app, maybe a textbook or a website or something :D i don't really WHERE to find resources for language learning, despite being bilingual, i never really had to look on the internet to learn the languages i speak now, i picked it up from the people around me you know?

i've also been ''using'' duolingo but tbh, i really hate it. it feels boring to me, everyday it's ''ok what sentence am i going to be forced to write for the 40th time today?'' the single 'square' has 5 lessons and a 'unit' has around 10-8 of those squares and to finish a 'unit' you have to do about 50-45 of those lessons, which is shit because a 'unit' is only going to teach about 3 sentence structures and if you're lucky maybe 5. it's so shit, those greedy fuckers basically made it unusable. i've been using for about 140 days now, every single day i take at least one lesson, and it STILL has not taught me a SINGLE spanish tense. btw, i even had an entire phase where i would finish UNITS in about an hour and a half (1 min or less for every lesson) and still not a single ''pretérito Indefinido'' actual pain 🫠🫠 one day ll delete that app, one day (i guess that's why i like busuu in the first place, it actually teaches you these tenses and even some slang while duolingo makes you write ''papá, quiero visitar a nuestra abuela'' for the 700th time this week)

i want to watch vods and stuff, but tbh, i feel way too embarrassed? like, i don't know enough spanish to really understand them and even when they say basic sentences that i understand, i still have to listen to it multiple times and slow down the clip for me to really get it. the thing with spanish is that i'll understand the meaning of the words being said but i need to take a second or so to really comprehend what they mean together you know? i don't want to have to watch the stream slowed down because that would definitely make me feel stupid 😭 maybe when i have better spanish i'll start watching vods. although i do listen to spanish songs sometimes, it's fun :D

first thing: you don't have to feel embarrassed about needing time to process things/needing to listen to things slowed down. language learning is difficult and there are a lot of obstacles for many people; this is something i do understand and want to stress that i get that it's hard. you are not a bad person or an idiot or whatever for having a hard time understanding things-- you are still learning, and besides that, sometimes hearing things isn't someone's strong suit (it absolutely did not use to be mine, but i've practiced a lot and gotten much better at it. i'm still much much better at reading text in other languages, but it is something you can always improve on). if you need to take extra time to watch things, that is not a personal fault of yours nor does it make you stupid. everyone has different skill sets, and you can always practice to get better.

second thing: my own criticisms of both busuu and duolingo, along with their strengths. duolingo first, because i've used it since like. idk like 2016? not consistently but i've used it far more over the years and i'm very familiar with various changes they've made and the esp, ptbr, and french courses. busuu ive only been using for a few months

to get it out of the way, the recent change to laying off translators and using more AI in lessons. this sucks, obviously, for a myriad of reasons. machine translation cannot match with human translation, and frankly never will be able to. there are vast amounts of nuance and cultural context necessary for translation, along with the fact that an AI led course does not actually hit on all the things someone needs, particularly on a basics/foundational level. and from an ethical standpoint, laying off a ton of human translators because you think you can replace them with inaccurate machine translation sucks and is why so many people have dropped duolingo, myself included.

duolingo also has limitations in terms of format-- it gamifies language learning, which can make it feel more accessible to people and makes people want to open it and practice every day. however, most people use duolingo to do one lesson once a day and that's it. they're not getting in practice from lessons previously completed, they're not drilling vocab or conjugations, they're not actually maintaining or even remembering what they've already learned. obviously there are people (like myself, when i still used the app) who practice far more than that and continue to drill previous lessons, but that's not the majority, and it's not incentivized by the app. the paywalling of completing certain lessons and being able to drill error words also sucks for this reason. basically duolingo is not an ideal setup for actually maintaining knowledge once you go through it the first time and also the way the courses are laid out just. does not, imo, actually make sense. they rarely actually explain what they're trying to teach you and they don't get into enough detail on most concepts. and there is no incentive to review, which is hugely important. not an ideal situation for language learning, especially on its own.

my pros for duolingo: it gets you to practice daily. this is honestly what i use busuu for at this point-- when i get a notif for it, i open it up and flick through a lesson, but i also pull out a textbook or two to look at things there and practice stuff. if whipping out duolingo every day helps you practice a language, that is, at bare minimum, something. preferably you should be studying for at least 15min if not up to an hour or more of a language a day in order to really pick things up and maintain them; you can absolutely use duolingo or busuu for that (busuu i think is far less well formatted and oftentimes the lessons are very specific vocab, at least in the later courses).

for busuu, my issues are like. it's a poorly made imitation of duolingo, aside from a few things. the community aspect is something i REALLY like-- being able to send an exercise to a native speaker and get feedback on what to work on is great, especially with how it's a short answer question that lets you form your own sentences and try out vocab in context. that's a wonderful feature, and i really think it gets at something duolingo is completely missing.

but yeah like i said in terms of the lessons, busuu has very strange ways of teaching things. firstly, it's usually super specific topics and vocab that aren't paired with anything conceptually that helps you progress. usually in a language course, it's best to pair a concept you're working on with either relevant vocab or something that can be used to talk about similar subjects/in similar ways (for instance, subjunctive with food/restaurant vocab, so that you can build sentences both with the new vocab and using the new verbal form in ways that make sense, i.e. "I'll have whatever she's having, If I were to order the pasta, I would get a salad too," "If I were richer, I would always order filet mignon" (side note subjunctive is very difficult for eng speakers so idk if these examples actually make sense 😭))

also busuu will repeatedly teach me something phrased one way or with a certain word and then mark me wrong and insist i use a completely different word/phrase. i cannot figure out why it keeps doing this it's very frustrating. and it has recently been teaching me some european portuguese which is not what the course is supposed to be so i'm just baffled by what's going on there.

another positive for busuu, at least in contrast to duolingo, is it teaches you the vocab and phrases before quizzing you on them, which duolingo does not do. this is like a positive and also an "eh, idk" because i get why duolingo does that-- it's trying to throw you into using surrounding context to figure out what a word means, and that's a very good way to practice, but i think it doesn't necessarily achieve it well and sometimes will just spring random words on you without enough context for you to know what it's referring to without just clicking on the word anyway.

also neither app are good at teaching you verb conjugation or tenses which is really unfortunate for spanish and portuguese in particular, as they're both languages where verbs are really really key AND where understanding tenses and their names are important, particularly for native eng speakers who never got taught tense names or like. any terminology for languages in english 🙃

also here is a thing i wrote up complaining about duolingo & verbs ages ago: Duolingo does not teach you things explicitly. It expects you to pick them up in a semi-immersive style, which works okay most of the time for most people but for many people makes actually learning and understanding parts of a language very difficult. For instance, it won't teach you the exact difference in usage between ser and estar, in Spanish or Portuguese. This difference is something I spent weeks on in Spanish class in high school and continued to review the rest of my time learning Spanish in an academic setting-- it is a key element of two of the most important words in the language. Duolingo also doesn't explain stem changes or irregular verbs and their typical endings-- it simply expects you to pick these up and memorize them through sentence usage. Basically it's very obvious Duolingo was created by english speakers who were never taught key elements of their own language (this is not a dig on their personal fault; i was also never taught any of this shit about english) and don't know how to go about teaching a language, and the limited format doesn't help.

third thing, finally getting to what you actually asked: there are a lot of resources for learning spanish online! i'm not as familiar with them as i'd like, as i learned spanish in an academic setting, but i'll do my best to list some things out and anyone else can feel free to add on. i've been meaning to make a language learning advice post for literally ages and i guess this is going to become it lmao.

here is a video explaining how to make duolingo work for you along with other resources: A Linguist explains how to make duolingo actually work (tl;dr pair duolingo with conversation partners, textbook work, listening to music, watching movies, etc. etc.)

i've tagged this with my language learning tag, which has a bunch of resources including some specifically for learning spanish.

tumblr user salvador bonaparte has a drive of free textbooks you can check out here, including a ton of spanish resources. i also recommend looking around the internet/specifically linguistics tumblr to find more resources as well as looking at used bookstores/amazon/etc. for spanish textbooks to use, as that will provide a more thorough foundation along with other programs/types of learning.

i've never used babbel or any other online program like it, but spanish tends to be one of the more resource-heavy languages because it's so widely spoken, so typically spanish programs on various apps/sites are REALLY thorough (duolingo's spanish program is by far their best course, with a ton more resources than most other programs. you can go up to the equivalent of at least c2 on there i believe, versus many other languages where they don't even list the CEFR levels)

finally, the not-so-online answer: if you're in college/have a nearby community/junior college, consider taking spanish classes there! this option probably costs the most out of any others, but i genuinely think an academic setting is the a great way to learn a language for many people. if you're not one of them, that is totally fine, but an actual spanish course at a college is likely to be the most thorough way to learn the language. also many CCs/JCs offer spanish classes online, so if you can't drive or for whatever reason can't go to in-person courses, you'll likely still have options.

this is everything i can think of right now but i also want to add once again that learning a language is difficult!!! i know that, and i know that i complain a lot about monolinguals, but i am specifically complaining about people who refuse to engage respectfully with languages that are not their own and dismiss anything they don't understand as being stupid/not worth their time/culturally worthless. i am not complaining about people like you, who are trying really hard to engage with non-english content AND are trying really hard to learn another language.

i also think learning languages is one of the most incredible experiences there are and that expanding the kinds of cultural and social boundaries that you engage with is a really important facet of humanity that i wish more people would participate in. i get riled up because this is something i'm really truly passionate about, not because i think anyone is stupid or whatever for not learning. i want people to just try it and give it a chance, even if it's hard for them, and i'm glad that you are trying, anon. <333