#I remember being like that how much it sucked and the parent instincts kick in bcs I want to help younger people navigate a shitty situation

[lastoneout]

I try really hard to treat kids/teens with respect and like recognize that when you're that age even small problems seem huge bcs your entire life is so small and you don't have the perspective on things an adult has, and also bad experiences when you're young really can stick with you even if they seemed small at the time....but like god sometimes I see some of the stuff that gets sent into the tumblr AITA blog and the real answer isn't YTA/NTA it's "you're fourteen" but you can't just SAY that-!

[anashins]

Everything We Can't Forget

Title: Everything We Can't Forget

Pairing: Jaehyun x You

Genre: established relationship au, angst, drama, romance, smut

Warnings: pregnancy, abortion & miscarriage that might get mildly descriptive, smut, heavy angst

Word Count: 10k

Summary: When a heartbreaking tragedy strikes your relationship, an icy exterior frosts around your heart and your boyfriend is the main victim of the cold. In times of pain, it’s easier to push people away instead of letting them tear down your walls - until one day, they give up trying. But Jaehyun isn’t one of these people.

Jaehyun repeatedly fiddled with the keys in his hands, but he couldn't manage to push the right one into the hole, and you chuckled behind him as he then dropped the entire set, the alcohol already clouding your judgement.

“I swear, you're so going to regret making fun of me, y/n!”

Jaehyun still laughed along with you though when he picked the keys up from the ground and finally managed to open the door to his dorm. You both squeezed yourselves through the small frame to the inside, and instinctively, your bodies found each other while Jaehyun shut the door behind him with a kick.

“Yeah? Then make me regret it,” you challenged him.

Your lips connected in a deep and passionate way, your tongues moving in a rhythmic harmony that only fired up the physical attraction between you two, and you ran your hands over his shirt, tracing his abs with your fingers.

Being in your second semester at Seoul National University, you enjoyed your new life to the fullest, attending as many classes as possible, but also partying as much as possible since you had moved out of your parents' homes.

Luckily, you and Jaehyun had been able to stay a couple after getting together in your final year of high school unlike other pairs, and throughout the first two semesters, you had grown to love your boyfriend so much that you knew no man would ever compare to him anymore.

You considered yourself hella lucky.

And he knew.

Jaehyun tasted of alcohol and sweets as you still made out by the door after coming home from his friend's house party, and you two were so needily on heat that you had barely been able to keep your hands to yourselves at the gathering already. You wondered how you had even gotten here on time.

“Jump,” Jaehyun commanded.

Within a second, you had both of your legs wrapped around his waist, his fingers grabbing tightly on your bottom so that you wouldn’t fall. You slung your arms around his neck and grinded your groin against his, luring slight moans out of him that you suffocated with your lips.

Letting your tongue wander along the seam of his mouth, you searched for his tip, and upon finding it, you increased the intensity of your rocking motions, Jaehyun’s growing member pressing hard against you from below.

“In Taeyong’s bed?” Jaehyun muttered between kisses.

“Yeah!” you giggled.

Jaehyun moved with you to his roommate’s bed and placed you onto the mattress. He crawled between your legs, pulling up your dress as he made his way along your thighs with you mewling his name in approval.

“Remember not to be as loud as last time,” Jaehyun warned you playfully. “Otherwise, Ten will go berserk again, because he has classes tomorrow at 8 am and can hear everything through these thin walls.”

“Well, with what I will do to you, Jeong Jaehyun, I won’t be the problem here.”

“We’ll see.”

He leaned down to you and licked your earlobe, nibbling on the skin before he trailed his lips down to your neck and sucked on spots of which he knew you liked it there the most. Eager to finally have him inside you after a whole night of teasing at the party already, you cupped his face and brought his head close to yours, crushing your lips back onto his.

You then ran your hands along his covered chest until you found the area where his shirt was tucked into his jeans, pulling all the fabric out and helping him get rid of the clothing. After having Jaehyun take off your dress as well, you unbuckled his belt and tugged down his jeans along with his boxers.

His dick sprung free and you grabbed a hold of it, having him groan into your ear when you massages hard muscles between your palms.

“Hush! Didn’t you tell me to be quiet?” you laughed.

“Screw that guy Ten!”

Jaehyun’s gaze was filled with pure lust when you angled your body into him so that he was able to unclasp your bra and toss it on the ground. He took one of your nipples into his mouth, causing you to grasp his hair and scratch the back of his head as his tongue wetted your mound with a flick.

“Ohh… yes.”

His fingers played with your other breast, trailing his thumb over the sensitive peak in circular motions and sending shivers all down to your toes in the process. Jaehyun just knew his finger and mouth play way too well.

Getting rid of his jeans and boxers next, he also removed your soaked panties before he withdrew and spread your legs wide in front of his face.

“Are you nuts?” you chided quietly. “You told me to be quiet and now this?!”

You bit into your fist as you let your head fall back onto the pillow. He didn’t want to listen to you, you knew. The flesh on your fist gave in under your teeth as you bit into your skin when you felt Jaehyun’s wet tongue on your nether regions, draping your entrance.

Then, he licked you all up, and instinctively, you closed your thighs around his head, throwing your head aside. If only he knew how much mental strength it took you to hold it all in!

With the tip of his tongue, he dipped into you, then dragged it all along your folds, and you let out a little squeal. Arriving at your most sensitive spot, your boyfriend didn’t think of stopping here as this was where the real fun would actually start.

He rotated softly over your clit, rolling his tongue over it every now and then until the sensitive bundle of nerves was growing and swollen in his mouth. That was when he closed his lips over your clit and started sucking on it.

You bit into your hand even harder, turning and tossing in his roommate's bed and just wishing for the release to come so that you wouldn’t suffer anymore. Your whimpers fell from your pressed closed lips like a never ending melody as you simultaneously sensed a tight feeling coiling up inside you.

But then Jaehyun released you, and you didn’t know whether this was for better or for worse. The answer to your question came right after when he turned your body aside and threw one of your legs over his shoulder.

“This position…!”

His evil grin was answer enough. “What about it?”

He knew you equally hated and loved this position, because it was the one that worked the best for you orgasm-wise. But if you were going to do it this way, you wouldn’t only wake up Ten, but the whole dormitory.

“I hate you,” you grumbled.

“I know,” he chuckled mischievously.

Jaehyun pressed the tip of his dick against your entrance, precum already leaking from its head and coating your folds. He halted for a moment though to put on a condom which he got out of Taeyong’s nightstand.

Deliberately, he then pushed himself into you until he was fully sheathed inside. Giving you a moment to adjust, Jaehyun withdrew shortly and slammed right back into you a second later, causing you to desperately search for hold by his arms.

He gyrated his hips every time your bodies came back together to make sure that each thrust hit you where it felt the most pleasurable, and as he kept pumping away into you, the enjoyable friction between you two only increased. Jaehyun’s one hand was holding onto your bum to angle it perfectly while the other kept your spread leg in place over his shoulder.

You were a withering and whimpering mess under him, and even your hand couldn’t hold your moans back anymore. By all means, you didn’t want to hold it in anymore either. Screw Ten and the entire dormitory even!

“Yesyesyesyes,” you let slip from your lips. “Please, don’t stop!”

With each thrust that penetrated you deep inside, you sensed your orgasm nearing, and whenever he withdrew to only shove himself into you even harder than before, you felt like you would lose your mind, your moans mixing with his and the sounds of your bodies slamming against each other.

Your fingers clenched the sheets to the right and left of you, the fabric rubbing between your fingers before your hips rose up into Jaehyun’s and then, when you felt you had finally overcome the barrier, let yourself fall.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck… Jaehyun!!”

Your body twisted uncontrollably under his as your orgasm took control over you, and Jaehyun groaned loudly at the same moment as he seemingly came in unison with you - a premier to you, you had to admit.

His chest was sweaty and irregularly heaving up and down as you laid on top of him, listening to the knocks that came from both of the room’s sides.

“It’s 3 in the morning, there are people who have classes tomorrow!” Ten’s voice.

And another one added from the other side, “We know how good you are Jaehyun, shut up already!”

You giggled light-heartedly while Jaehyun pressed a kiss on your forehead.

“Go to sleep, we’re done already!” he yelled back.

“You know that I didn’t mean it right?” you wanted to clarify. “I don’t hate you. I love you of course.”

“Of course you love me. What else?” Jaehyun responded nonchalantly.

“Yeah. What else?”

The moonlight illuminated his face that smiled at you, and even after he had long been asleep with you in his arms, you still admired his presence that had been by your side ever since the last year of high school and for many years more, you hoped.

There was just no better man.

____

Never in your life had you ever thought that this would happen to you.

Yet, you still stood here, in front of the clinic, reluctant to set a step on the stairs that would bring you inside.

You were trembling all over, not having been able to sleep, let alone to eat, and puking the entire morning because of nervousness. Or because of certain other reasons. At this point, you didn’t know for sure anymore.

When you had called the clinic to make the appointment, you knew that this wasn’t really you. It was only a robot that followed your counsellor’s advice, and because you were running out of time. In another world, this step wouldn’t be necessary. But in your world now, there was no other way.

You just wished that you wouldn’t feel like this though.

So sad and so guilty.

Instinctively, your hands wrapped around your lower abdomen as though you could protect what was inside, yet you knew it was too late. You had made the decision, and there was no way you could have decided differently. You had no other choice.

Always, you had been careful when it came down to protection. But when you had once run out of condoms and still couldn’t keep it in your pants, you thought that this time, it wouldn’t matter. Technically, according to your app, your ovulation was still days away, so you just went through with it.

What could happen, you had thought. You were so naive.

You always assumed you’d know what to do in this kind of situation. But the truth was that life didn’t prepare you for when this happened to you.

You were now in your second year of university with dropping out not being an option as you had no other way to secure your future if you would quit now, and the same applied to your boyfriend. You were aware of the fact that other couples would give anything to be in your shoes right now.

But you just weren’t one of them.

Yet, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that you were doing the tiny dot in your stomach wrong. Even though the thought of pressing a human living out of your body scared you to the bones as well as the thought of holding a breathing baby in your arms.

You just weren’t ready to be a parent yet.

“I’m sorry that I’m late.”

“Jaehyun…”

Your boyfriend stood in front of you, all sweaty and out of breath as he seemed to have run all the way here.

“I thought your exams-”

“You are more important than exams.” Jaehyun wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. “How could I ever leave you alone in this situation?”

Your fingertips dug into his back and you shut your eyes closed. “I feel so bad… And I’m so scared.”

“That’s okay. Your controversial feelings are okay,” he tried to calm you down while rocking you in his arms. “It’s okay and normal to feel so scared and lost. We’ve talked about it for so long, y/n. Right now, it’s the best decision for our lives. We can’t provide a child with a secure future if we get one right now. Just because others would take another way doesn’t mean your decision isn’t justifiable.”

“It’s not even done yet, and I already think about what he or she could look like…”

Jaehyun’s hug got even tighter. “Me too. Me too…”

An adoption had also been ruled out by you as childbirth wouldn’t only horrify you and restrain your final year in university, but also keep you tied to an offspring for the rest of your life.

You couldn’t imagine always being with your thoughts by a child that was yours but also… kind of not, because it would never get the chance to be with you. Not a day in your life would pass without you searching for it when you were older. Or even plant the seed in your thought of keeping it after it was born.

But you couldn’t weigh either of these outcomes safely. If you would be able to, you would have perhaps decided differently. Whether your decision now was right, you sure wouldn’t sign that. But for you, it was the best one at this very moment.

“When the time is right…” You barely brought the following words over your lips, but Jaehyun already knew what you wanted to say.

“When the time is right, when we’re settled and on the same page, we will try again. This time then, for real. And we will provide that child with everything it needs, loving it unconditionally, every single day of our lives.”

“That sounds perfect.”

You both entered the abortion clinic together, and while you remained in the waiting room, filing out forms about your sexual and medical history, Jaehyun went to grab a coffee. Coming back, he just made it on time for you to be called to the treatment room.

“I’m here,” Jaehyun then told you, planting a kiss on your forehead. “You’ll be fine.”

You had to change into a hospital gown first only to get checked by the doctor a few minutes later whether you were really pregnant, because, even though the chance was so slim to have false positives on five occasions, they had to make sure officially.

You peed in a cup, then they did an ultrasound, and once they were convinced there truly was something inside of you, you waited again. You didn’t even remember how you spent the waiting time anymore before you got called to another room where another doctor got assigned to you.

Laying down on this other doctor’s table, you had to spread your legs wide, the woman to your left giving you an injection in the crevice of your arm.

“Please breathe normally,” she told you. “If you breathe so heavily, you’ll faint.”

You hadn’t even noticed that you were close to a panic attack, so you tried to gain control over your breathing rhythm and forced your body to behave in a way that would be beneficial to you in this situation.

You felt it hard and cold in your nether regions, slowly pushing inside of you, and your teeth sank into your bottom lip as the woman next to you held your hand. It felt like the worst menstruation cramps in your life to you while they did the procedure, and you were on the verge of crying the entire time.

Within a few minutes of carving and sucking, it was over.

“You’re free to dress now, Miss.”

When you descended from the doctor’s table, you were a whole other person, and your boyfriend knew the moment you returned to the waiting room. He didn’t only see it in the way your shoulders hunched and your steps got sluggish, but also in your eyes.

Those eyes that had once been so lively.

They hadn’t only sucked a life out of you, but also the life out of you.

During the 30 minutes which you had to spend in the waiting room before you were able to leave, silently holding your boyfriend’s hand, you didn’t say a word. Not even when another girl asked you how to fill out the form.

You laid in your dorm’s bed for the next three days, shutting the entire world off, and Jaehyun cancelled all classes just to be with you. You hadn’t expected it to be so hard, even though for weeks, you had weighed all the options.

Why was it then that now, you were longing for a child that hadn’t even seen the light of day?

You were walking around in your dreams, looking for your baby. You wanted to see it once, so you wondered whether you’d see it if you were searching in your dreams. But to no avail. Would you now be forever wandering, trying to get closure?

“I’m sorry,” were the first words that you said after three days, still in bed. “I’m so sorry.”

“To the baby?” Jaehyun asked, nestling up to you from behind.

He had sensed it without you even having to explain, that was how well he knew you.

You nodded. “For that I have brought him or her into this world, barely more than a few layers of tissues and barely bigger than an apple seed, and then taken it out of it again. In such a horrible way even without giving it a chance.”

Jaehyun tightened his embrace around you. He felt what you felt. “I believe he or she knows that if it were possible and how it was supposed to be, we would have kept our little boy or girl.”

Unfortunately, you hadn't been able to bring your daughter or son into this world as you were still a broken person in an environment that was spinning too fast, and you were trying to find your place in it. You were just building yourself back up and didn’t have enough to give to someone else too.

You couldn’t be that glimmer of hope, that role-model or that one person someone always depended on. You did not have the strength to fight for two people together. You couldn’t stand up for it either. Not yet. And the very same applied to your boyfriend.

“If everything would have been in place,” Jaehyun continued, “he or she should have been with us in an eight months time. But for us, it’s not now.”

You hoped that your child, who had never gotten to live, could forgive you as you had not done it because it was the best for you, but for your child as well. After all, great parents were the biggest gift one could receive, and you couldn’t give it to anyone right now.

But no matter how little of an entity it had been, in this short time span, it was wholeheartedly loved. You hoped it would at least hear your thoughts.

You let your tears flow while Jaehyun hugged you warmly from behind. When the time was right, you would be the greatest parents a child could have.

You promised that to the son or daughter you had just decided against.

____

“It’s nice, isn’t it?”

You walked into the empty living room, already furnituring every corner of the apartment in your imagination. This would be the second home of your very own after you had both graduated from university, and where your first flat together only consisted of one room in a rundown neighborhood, this one was not only bigger, but was also located in an upscale part of the city.

You had saved up and worked hard for a very long time to finally lead the life you had aimed for. Now, it would truly feel like coming home.

“Nice? No,” you disagreed and turned around to Jaehyun. “I love it!”

With your hands thrown in the air, you swirled around, your surroundings mixing together to a white blur. This would be your new home, a home where you would finally settle down and build a family together.

Now, you were ready.

You didn’t regret your abortion, yet it had still taken you about a year and many session with the university’s therapist to finally move on and continue with your life without thinking about how much your current action would affect your child if it would be with you right now.

Jaehyun had put up with all this, and as you came to a stop in front of him, you wondered, like every day, how you deserved to be with someone like him.

You lifted your arms and interlaced your fingers behind his neck, smiling at him while he rested his hands on either side of you.

“I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time,” he then told you.

You tilted your head. “It’s been two years since graduation. There have been many instances where I was happy.”

“Of course.” Jaehyun nodded. “But all this time… I had the feeling that it’s not the life you wanted. I get it… living in a tiny flat with a twenty minute walk to the next bus stop was not always the life you had dreamed of leading. Then, I realized… You weren’t satisfied with your life, because it wouldn’t be the one you wanted to offer to a potential child again. I promised to myself that, if it happens again, this time, we would keep it. And I started saving up quite a sum each month.”

His words touched you. “I really appreciate it. It’s okay though, we minimized the chances by getting an IUD. I’m not pregnant right now and will not be unless we decide for it.”

But that was not what he meant. “Come.”

Jaehyun let go of you, grabbed you by your hand and dragged you along the corridor to a door that led to a room you haven’t inspected yet.

“Another room? I thought we’d only have two?” you questioned. “That’s only what I was able to offer. Or was this sold at a special price?”

“I saw your struggles, your battles… inwardly and outwardly.” He put a hand on the door handle. “And I couldn’t do anything against it except for being by your side. Even then, I always thought it wasn’t enough, because I hadn’t been able to share the physical pain with you, and not even the emotional pain.”

You frowned. “Jaehyun, of course it’s always been enough, because you haven’t been anything but supportive towards me… So what is it? What’s behind this door?”

He pushed down the handle and opened it for you. While you stepped into the mysterious room, Jaehyun continued explaining, “The money I saved up didn’t go to waste. I wanted to be prepared. So… it went into other things such as looking for a flat that had an additional room, something bigger, nicer. This is not an invitation or anything. I just want to show you that this time, we won’t be having the same circumstances. I couldn’t be there for you the way I wanted to be as I lacked the materials, but this time, I will be prepared.”

You couldn’t believe what unfolded in front of your eyes.

You found yourself in a room almost as big as the bedroom, but already painted in a beige colour, and in the very middle of it stood a wooden crib. Approaching it in awe, you let your fingertips glide over the edges of the oval furniture that also already owned a mattress.

You were rendered speechless.

“I know we haven’t really talked about it again.” Jaehyun came closer to you. “And as I said, this sure shouldn’t sound like an invitation, but whatever will happen now, rest assured that I have it all covered.”

“An extra room for a potential baby?” You shifted to him. “I don’t know what to say… First… how dare you!”

“Saw this coming…” he only muttered.

“Not about the savings thing, because it’s your own money for sure, but how dare you go behind my back and just look for apartments with an additional room without consulting with me first! You knew quite well that I wouldn’t be able to afford it,” you scolded him sharply.

“Exactly because of this,” Jaehyun defended himself. “Because you wouldn’t have agreed.”

“I would have paid my fair share if it.”

“No offense, but I earn twice as much as you. I already had a hard time settling with the fact that you were adamant to exactly the half. But for this apartment, I won’t let you. I’m truly sorry that I went behind your back, but otherwise you wouldn’t have agreed.”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest. “I would have paid it back somehow. Or we would have looked in another neighbourhood, there would have been other options-”

“Can you drop the act already, hug me and say what a great boyfriend I am instead of playing pretend, because I see how to try to sup-… oh!”

The next moment, you had your arms wrapped around him and fell back into silence.

All this time, you hadn’t been aware of how Jaehyun felt. That he thought he had failed as well, but not once have you ever thought his acts weren’t enough. Yet again, he exceeded himself.

No man could hold a candle to him.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

Now, your life together could truly start.

____

You woke up not feeling very well that morning.

From the moment you opened your eyes, you had a feeling that something just wasn’t right. And as you grew able to realize what was wrong with you, you located a sharp, dull pain in your lower abdomen. With sweat already breaking from your forehead, you were wide awake now and sat up, pulling the blanket from your body.

And then, you screamed.

When Jaehyun, who was busy washing up in the bathroom to get ready for work, stormed back into the bedroom, he saw you sitting in a puddle of fresh blood, your face stricken with horror and fright.

He was by your side within seconds, making sure that you were addressable despite the blood loss.

“The baby…” you whispered as you faced your boyfriend, but also looked right through him. “THE BABY!”

You were at the hospital within the next fifteen minutes, and even though Jaehyun was by your side at all times, holding your hand and telling you that everything was going to turn out fine, it was still the longest and hardest minutes in your young life so far.

Arriving at the specific ward, you got referred to a gynecologist right away, your partner having to wait outside.

Silent and with attentive eyes, you watched the doctor putting the gel on your abdomen and then rolled the device over your skin. The ultrasound displayed on the screen next to you looked weird. And it was unbelievably quiet in the room.

That was when you carefully brought over your lips, “The… heartbeat. W-why… why isn’t there a heartbeat? W-why can’t I hear a heartbeat?”

“Misses Jeong, did you have a spotting prior to the heavy bleeding this morning?” the doctor asked you, her eyes focused on the screen as well.

“Only a little. But my gynecologist said that is normal to occur during pregnancies… and then this suddenly happened overnight.”

“Miss…” The gynecologist turned to you, her eyes as soft as her voice, but also full of sympathy. “Please wait outside, I’ll call you in again.”

That moment, you knew that you had miscarried, she wouldn’t even need to call you in for that. Yet, you were still full of hope, putting fears and doubt to the very back of your mind and just talked yourself into mishearing the sounds as you were still in a shock.

There was no way the heavens would let you experience something so seriously, deeply heartbreaking. They wouldn’t let this happen to you, it wasn’t fair to a good person like you who had done nothing wrong in her entire life.

Except for… You gulped.

Your hands were red from all the kneading during the many minutes of waiting, and when the doctor finally called you back in with Jaehyun, you could already read the answer from her face.

“I’m sorry to say this, but I cannot find a fetus.”

“What…” You weren’t sure whether your words were even loud enough for her to hear. “I am nine weeks in. Of course there needs to be a fetus. We could even hear a heartbeat last time, why shouldn’t it be there anymore? Please check again!”

Only a week prior at your gynecologist’s, Jaehyun had held your hand as you both watched the tender outline of your future child and its audible heartbeat filling the room. You had been so happy back then, you thought your heart was going to burst with bliss.

This child was an absolute planned child, and even though it had taken you a whole year to finally conceive again, you were so ready to welcome a baby into your lives.

And now, everything had changed.

“I still have to take your blood to check on the HCG levels, Miss. But I’m sorry to say that you have misc-”

No, you didn’t want to hear it.

So you shut down the entire time the doctor spoke to you in her sympathetic voice that wasn’t able to reach you. When she presented to you the results of the HCG levels later, you also weren’t able to hear her which was why she turned to your boyfriend instead and explained to him that indeed, you weren’t pregnant anymore.

It was the worst day of your life, the most heart-wrenching thing you had to experience.

The entire car ride home, you had your gaze directed to the side window where you watched people enjoying their seemingly unburdened lives outside, and every time you spotted a baby or a young child, you got even sadder as you realized that your own child would never be among them.

At home, Jaehyun placed you on the couch for the time he cleaned the bed and the sheets. When he finally helped you onto the neat bed, you weren’t able to leave it for a long while.

You fell heavily depressed and wept uncontrollably if you weren’t sleeping, writhing or screaming in pain, first on the bed only, then wherever you needed to function: in the bathtub, on the kitchen floor, all while Jaehyun had his arms wrapped around you, refusing to let you go until you had calmed down.

You’d never get to see the child you had anticipated to bring into this world so much. It would always be remembered as an ultrasound picture with a blip on it, its heartbeat audible for you whenever you closed your eyes, yet you had loved it so deeply already.

Perhaps, you then started to think, fate wanted exactly that.

For you to suffer.

On one day, you found yourself sitting in the unfinished nursery, weeping bitterly again while holding onto the wooden bars and imagining the child that would have gotten the chance to lie in there - if only you had been more careful, not that stressed, eaten the right thing for only that crucial chunk of time or simply… wouldn’t have aborted the first one.

“You hungry?” you heard your boyfriend ask from the door.

Since he was home, it must be late in the evening already. You had totally lost track of time as you had gotten here early in the morning after waking up. Or had it been midday already?

“Back then in university,” you started speaking, your voice sounding alien to your ears, “I thought couples with a direct wish to have children took months and years to get pregnant. And out of all these couples, we were blessed with the fact that it had worked without us even actually trying for it. And we got an abortion.”

Jaehyun sucked in a rush of air. “Those people decided to have one. And we decided against one. We’re humans with a free will, nobody can hold it against us. Nobody will.”

“Except for myself.”

He walked around the crib and crouched down on the other side, making eye contact with you. “Don’t do that… Please don’t think like that.”

Your fingers clenched around the bars even tighter. “If… If I hadn’t have the abortion, we would be blessed with a child now. But… but I decided against a baby, because I was so selfish and thought the time and circumstances weren’t right. Our baby now was more developed than the one we have decided against. What gives us the right to decide that we wanted this one but the other not? And now that I want one desperately, I won’t get the chance. This is my punishment for what I’ve done. I know it. Fate refuses to let me experience motherhood.”

Your boyfriend remained quiet for a long time. “It’s not only you, y/n. It’s us. Don’t just burden your own heart with it, because I’m hurting too. But it’s all out of our control, whether someone lives or dies.”

“But we have made this decision for our first baby.”

“Life is never set in stone, we don’t know the future so we can’t always act accordingly. What just happened doesn’t have anything to do with the past. Perhaps, our first child would have lived… but perhaps, the possibility of losing it by the same time would be just as high. The doctor elucidated you about the possibility that losing an embryo and later on fetus within the first three months is high. It’s not your fault from the past, nor from the present.”

But to you, it felt entirely different. There was rarely a moment when you didn’t continue feeling ashamed, hopeless and heartbroken.

“I’m not hungry,” you said dryly, not going into Jaehyun’s statement.

“You haven’t eaten anything in days. You can’t continue like this, y/n. You’ll be harming your body eventually. I even cooked your favorite food again. At least a few spoonfuls, will you?”

“I said I’m not hungry.” You bit into your bottom lip, your boyfriend’s disappointed face totally passing by you. “Please leave me alone again.”

In your world, he didn’t understand you. In your world, he didn’t try to feel what you were feeling. In your world, you were entirely alone with the pain.

Curling up on the floor again, you hugged your knees and stared at the crib from below. You wondered whether this pain would ever subside. Even if not, then that was probably what you deserved for what you had done to your first child.

You were broken in two.

And Jaehyun just didn’t know how to help you.

____

It was hard for you to not feel resentful about other people’s happiness, being jealous of women who proudly displayed their pregnancy all over social media. It was hard to look around, seeing mothers with their children and not to think,

“Okay, they didn’t abort, neither did they miscarry. What have they done in their young lives to be blessed with a child then, and why was I not good enough?”

You blamed your doctor for not having discovered the possibility of complications sooner, you blamed the glass of wine you drank before knowing you were pregnant, you blamed your boyfriend for…

for just everything.

Over the next couple of weeks, you grew brutally mean to Jaehyun. An icy exterior frosted around your heart, and he was the main victim of the cold.

You were in so much emotional and mental pain that you didn’t know how to verbalize any of it. Partially, because you didn’t want to talk about it, but also because you didn’t know where to start. So you did what was a normal human reaction: you pushed him away.

But the more you built walls, the more your boyfriend did everything to tear them down.

On one day, you found a set of fresh flowers on the dining table. Peonies. Your favorite ones. As you touched one blossom, you smiled for the first time in a very long period. But then, you remembered that if your baby had been born a girl, you would have painted peonies on the walls.

“Do you like them?” Jaehyun asked you.

“Take them away,” was your harsh answer.

On another day, you left the bedroom and noticed a delicious smell that was lingering in the kitchen. Jaehyun had cooked you dinner, but today would mark another month when you had lost the baby, and that date, you usually spent grieving.

“Come eat,” he invited you.

“I’m not hungry,” you brushed him off.

On a weekend, a wedding invitation from Jaehyun’s former roommate Taeyong came in by mail. But you haven’t had any social interaction in months, having totally forgotten how to be a productive member of society.

“You want to go? Otherwise…”

“No.”

Jaehyun brought you flowers, cooked you your favorite food, never pressured you to go out or to even function properly. He gave you space when you asked, but always made sure that he was there. He didn’t hold any reaction against you, regardless of how harsh or cruel you were to him.

He endured it all.

Letting you cope and grieve, he didn’t try to make it all go away. He didn’t try to fix you. He waited around, waited for you to be ready to pick up your broken pieces and continue living, no matter how long it would take you.

Yet, it still wasn’t enough. Everything he did was never never enough for you.

Though you blamed Jaehyun, him being the one you let it out on, most of all, you blamed yourself. Your sorrow was your punishment you learnt to live with, and a tiny part of you was envious that he wasn’t feeling it just as hard.

“Where are you going?”

You found Jaehyun standing in the living room one day, next to him a suitcase. You thought there was a business trip you had missed that he was joining, but he was still in his house clothes, facing you with a serious expression.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He rolled the suitcase to his front. “This is yours, packed with clothes and toiletries.”

“Okay.” You frowned. “And why?”

“Because you’ll be the one leaving.”

Taken aback, you were also totally confused. “I don’t understand…”

“Listen…” He approached you and cupped your face, looking at you with a gentle expression. “I love you more than anything in the entire world. This is why it hurts so much to know that you currently despise me.”

“I don-” You paused.

Did you still love him? Of course. More than anything in the entire world as well. But your boyfriend was also the person you wanted to see the least of right now. One didn’t exclude the other.

“I know that you love me, too. But at the same time, you can’t look me in the eyes, you can’t touch me and you can’t be near me anymore. I tried to make your life as easy as possible, but… I can’t anymore. It’s okay to be sad and to cry, and to miss our unborn child. I do too. So very badly,” Jaehyun confessed to you. “But I can’t carry both of our weights anymore. I’m tired.”

All of this, you hadn’t been aware of.

Throughout your veil of depression, you hadn’t been able to see that your boyfriend was suffering too. You had hidden yourself behind your icy walls, leaving him to suffer all by himself instead of letting him in and share your pain.

And now, you’d lose him too.

“No, Jaehyun, I-” Tears started flowing down your cheeks. “Don’t leave me alone, please!”

“I’m not leaving you.” He brushed with his thumbs over your skin, wiping away the tears. “I’ll be here. Always. I just want to give you time for yourself in an environment away from here, because this is where I am, where the events took place. How will you be able to move on when everything here reminds you of our past children?”

“I just don’t want to lose you too,” you cried to him.

“You won’t lose me. But if we continue like this…” He held his breath for several seconds. “I don’t know what might happen. We aren’t arguing, we aren’t speaking… we aren't doing anything at all. This is not a relationship, and I won’t be here to only serve as your punching bag. I’m doing this to salvage what we once had.”

“But I can’t do it without you.”

“You must. I’m only a hindrance to you. And I get it. With me, you can’t forget. I was supposed to be the father of the babies, and when you see me, you see the children you never had, am I right? You can’t get over it.”

His light smile was fading into a sorrowful one, and you wondered whether he was right. If you only continued suffering because of him - the person who was supposed to be there for you, who gave his all for your wellbeing...

… to whom you couldn’t return a single ounce of it.

“Where are you sending me to?”

“To your parents’ house.”

He planted a kiss on your forehead - the first intimate touch you had let happen after weeks of shutting yourself off.

The doorbell rang.

“That’s your father.” Jaehyun rolled the suitcase to the door. “You can stay for as long as you want and need. May it be a few days, weeks, months…” He didn’t dare to speak out what followed after months. “If you decide to come back here, I’ll be waiting. The door is always open for you.”

You closed your eyes as he took your cold hands into his warm ones. “Okay.”

“It’s the right decision for us right now. Just please… I don’t want to lose the girl I fell in love with.”

But you long knew that you were an entirely different person again now.

____

One day, when you suddenly cried in your parents' living room, your dad put a hand on your shoulder and told you, "You've got to be like a stake in the sand: all you can do is stand there and let the waves break over you."

That was the best way in which you could describe what it felt like in the weeks and months following the miscarriage and your physical separation. The waves would break as you cried at night and swallowed it all down in the morning.

Sometimes, they would break when you stood with your mother in the kitchen, preparing the food. Sometimes, they would break when you were playing cards with your father. Sometimes, they would break when you went out with their dog.

They broke whenever and wherever they wanted, and they were unpredictable and different in their size and length.

Between the waves, you tried to pick up the simplest social interactions again like meeting up with friends, going on a run, visiting the cinema or merely talking to your parents. They started off difficult at first, almost robotic, but the more you came back to life, the realer socializing felt again.

The pain wouldn’t go away though. Not for a long while, you knew that. You'd get through each day however you could - wine, TV, work - and the waves would break.

Memories would surface, some people would say insensitive things that they didn’t really mean, others would be endlessly supportive, and the waves would break and break and break until you grew accustomed to them.

Amidst the storms, you totally forgot about Jaehyun.

You also realized that he was the weight, bound to your feet, that would always drag you down whenever you tried to swim to the surface. He had been right. With him by your side, there was no way for you to rise from the ocean of sorrow. With him, you couldn’t move on.

So you left your boyfriend, the father of your children, back on the deep ground. And you scarily grew used to a life without him.

It was the second month at your parents’ house when you suddenly discovered something odd in the garden.

“What’s that?”

Still in your pajamas, as it was early in the morning, you walked to the outside with the dog by your side who was already running towards the spot with a waggly tail. Arriving by it, he sniffled at the flowers. And you did the same.

In a corner of the garden, by the other trees and bushes, you had spotted peonies. It was like they had magically grown overnight, a full bush of pink blossoms, right here where you could see it from your old room.

“Isn’t it thoughtful?” Your father approached you from behind.

“Did you do this?” you asked him, totally touched, but he shook his head.

“Jaehyun stopped by later last night and planted this. It was already late and you were sleeping, so I decided not to wake you up.”

“Jaehyun did this?”

“Yes.”

You bit down your tears.

You hadn’t spoken to Jaehyun in two months all while you were here, and he had neither tried to contact you. While you were trying to come back to life, you assumed that the same applied to him.

Dragging him down with your sadness too, you both couldn’t get over the events while being tied down to the other one. It was the right choice for you as individuals for sure. You just wondered whether two puzzle pieces, that had fit perfectly together before but now forged into something new, could fall back together to a unity.

“He’s a great guy,” your father commented. “He must have thought of you and missed you very badly.”

He truly was, and you suddenly felt like a bad person.

“What is it that weighs so heavily on your heart, dear?” he then asked you.

“I- I can’t go back to him, dad,” you stuttered. “I… I can’t do it. When I’m with him, I’m always reminded of the past… of the children we couldn’t have. How am I supposed to move on, to get over it, when everything I see, when I look at him, is the past and not the future?”

The morning wind was chilly, but your father’s consistent reassuring gesture as he put his hand on your shoulder again, gave you a bit of warmth.

“I don’t believe you see the past when you look at him. I believe what makes you so sad is that you saw your future shatter.”

“Sh… shatter?”

It had all happened so fast. So fast that you hadn’t even really had time to bond, connect or feel like this pregnancy was yours. Because of that, the grief felt so different. Almost like you were not grieving the pregnancy, but the dreams and hopes and promises of what that pregnancy meant for your future.

That you were trying to fix what had gone wrong in the past.

“No… We lost our future. He lost his future too.”

It wasn’t like you didn’t want to see Jaehyun. You were avoiding him.

Jaehyun had wanted that baby so badly and you were consumed with doubt. You haven't forgiven yourself for the events, always placing the blame on yourself, and whenever you saw him, you saw all the great things in life you weren’t able to offer to him because you couldn’t even carry out the simplest tasks - such as keeping a baby.

“I took away his opportunity to be a father.”

“Dear... “ Now your father pulled you into an embrace. “Don’t ever think like that. Even Jaehyun doesn’t blame you, so don’t do that as well. Especially not for robbing him of his future. Life is a miracle. It’s all out of our control whether someone lives or dies, and we need to realize how amazing it is how babies are made. Cherish every moment you live and be thankful for every moment you have with your loved ones.”

“He’s right.”

You opened your eyes, wide. As you pulled away from your father and turned around, you encountered your boyfriend, standing in that exact garden he had been to the night before as well.

He smiled at you, gently. “The loss of our child was also a loss of hope, trust and confidence. Mourning felt… useless, futile and endlessly frustrating. We were fighting hard to reestablish peace and equilibrium in our lives. But there was always something that would throw us back into the pit, might it have been a dish, a flower or a song. It felt like trying to dry off while standing under a fountain.”

“Why do you still want to be with me then?” you managed to whisper, wiping a tear from your cheek.

“Because for me, there is no future without you.” He drew closer to you and tucked a strand of your hair that had gotten loose behind your ear. “You haven’t robbed me of anything. We’re all not perfect, and sometimes in life, we make decisions we later on happen to regret. But what we can do is continue walking along our path into a brighter future. And my future is you.”

You tilted your head and snuggled into his palm, relishing the comfort. “But I’m a different person now again. Do you… still want me?”

“I will welcome every person you evolve into with open arms.”

Back then, the abortion had been the right decision for you, and it wasn’t something you could undo. What had happened to your second child was something entirely out of control. If you wanted to move forward, you had to leave the past behind.

And forgive yourself.

Slowly, you nodded. “I want to go home.”

Maybe you'd get pregnant again, but maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe you'd have all the time and space you needed for your recovery, but maybe the waves would only grow larger in size.

And when they broke, like a stake in the sand, you'd be weather-beaten, but you'd be standing.

With Jaehyun by your side.

____

The past events taught you a lesson about building strength in times of strife and unconditional love for your life partner, a lesson about persevering through life's many mishaps more than anything else that had ever come before it, and also an inspiring and courageous lesson about how strong you actually were.

You, and all the other women who went through the same, were resilient.

Your bodies and minds bounced back and became whole again. You became whole again as you learned to be more gentle with yourself and that time really did heal, but the sadness never really went away.

You were not hurting anymore, but would always remember the babies that you never got to hold or kiss goodnight. And that was alright, not to be able to forget. No one expected that from you.

“You coming to bed?” Jaehyun asked you from the other room.

“Yes, be there in a second.”

Pain had shaped you into the person you were now, and instead of shaking it off, you had let it become a part of you that you had turned into something fruitful.

You learned to empathize a lot better than before you had experienced all this. Going through something like a miscarriage opened your eyes to the world around you. You realized bad things happened and you might never know what someone had gone through, or what someone was currently going through.

It taught you to be a little more compassionate with people, because you had no way of knowing if they too were hurting inside, no matter how trivial or heavy the reason might be. Your friend could have had a bad day and didn’t voice it out. That mother in the park could have just lost a child as well. That man at the bar could be going through a separation.

Most of all though, what these losses had also taught you was to appreciate the things that went right in your life.

Like when a year after you had miscarried, you suddenly spotted two stripes on the pregnancy test you only took nonchalantly because you had missed a period, which was very unlikely for your cycle.

When you had screamed that morning in the bathroom, Jaehyun thought that something must have happened as he was close to breaking through the door. What he surely hadn’t expected was you holding a positive test under his nose.

You hadn’t purposely tried. You hadn’t even talked about going for another child yet as, after your physical separation, you were busy finding your way back to each other as a couple. It was very rough at times, and there were instances where you had thought about giving up entirely.

But your past had taught you to not only be gentle with yourself, but also to your boyfriend when things got hard. It taught you that this was exactly what commitment was about - getting through the hard stuff and drudging through the grief sludge together.

Cherishing the man who walked alongside you.

“Here I am!”

You slipped under the covers and nestled up to Jaehyun who quickly switched off the light so that the bedroom was now only illuminated by the city lights and the moon that shone through the window.

“Finally, I have you all to myself.” His fingers slipped under your top, along your flat belly and rested right under your navel. “Six weeks are over now.”

You blinked in confusion. “Six weeks of what?”

“Six weeks of no sex!”

“Have you truly been counting weeks until now?” you chuckled.

Almost proudly, he responded, “I even marked it in my calendar! Why do you think I came home earlier from work than usual?”

“Aha, I see.” You smirked. “So it just wasn’t about my delicious food, huh?”

In his eyes, you could see the Jaehyun from back then in university showing when he got all cheeky and horny. There had been a time when you thought you would never get to see this side of him again as it was incredibly hard for you to rebuild intimacy after you had returned home.

In the beginning, there was no intimacy at all and you had to start from the beginning, overcoming the fear of letting someone so close to you after a trauma as well as getting pregnant again.

When it had finally happened though, you were on the same page again - emotionally, physically, mentally,

Jaehyun kissed your lips, and you giggled light-heartedly as you wrapped your arms around him. Pushing him backwards, you straddled him on his lap with both of your thighs on either side of his.

“You really ready again?” he asked, resting his hands on your waist. “We can still wait, though.”

But you shook your head. “I feel ready.”

“Okay. But tell me immediately when it hurts.”

You bent down to him, your lips capturing his once again as the tips of your hair grazed his shoulders. He ran his hand through your strands, holding your head in place, while the other found its way under your top, crawling up your back.

His touches felt so familiar, yet so new again as you had missed out on them for not only the past six weeks, but months. That was why they probably seemed more intense now as Jaehyun rubbed patterns on your skin, leaving trails that carved themselves into your memory.

With one smooth motion, you removed your top and tossed it aside, but before you were able to close the gap between you and Jaehyun with another kiss, he sat up himself and rose to your field of vision.

Jaehyun made eye contact with you for a long while so that you slightly became embarrassed.

“What is it?” you asked, bashful.

“You’re so beautiful,” he muttered.

He knew exactly how much you were continuously struggling with your body, having a hard time accepting that a bit of more weight was still a part of you now, but he made sure that he took his time telling you exactly the opposite.

Jaehyun’s lips closed around your nipple, and you threw your head back, your mouth agape while you let him suck on your sensitive spot. You hadn’t quite felt like yourself lately, but he made sure that you’d still feel like a desirable woman around him.

When your lips found each other again, Jaehyun promised you, “I won’t let you off so easily tonight, I swear.”

His fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties and you were eagerly fumbling with the hem of his shirt when the romantic atmosphere suddenly got interrupted by a familiar noise.

You both freezed, your gazes turning to the nightstand while sending a quick prayer towards heaven. But then, mere seconds later, the long delayed scream followed from the baby phone,

“Waaaaaaaah!”

That was the end of your makeout session.

With a groan, you let go of Jaehyun and reached for your bathrobe, but Jaehyun held you back.

“I’m going,” he offered and arose.

“You sure?” you asked. “You have to work tomorrow.”

“It’s okay.” He winked at you when he stood by the door. “I still need your energy for later. When I come back, you’re completely naked.”

In the child’s room, Jaehyun turned on a dim light and approached his six-week-old daughter who was lying in her crib.

“What is it, honey?” he asked and took her out of the bed. “Are you hungry?” He looked her deeply in the eyes, and she returned his gaze with the same intensity, having stopped crying altogether after her father had lifted her up. “No? Okay. Do you have a tummy ache?... No? Okay. What could it be? Maybe your diapers?... No, they’re still dry.”

Jaehyun cradled her tenderly against his chest, and she let out a chortle which made him smile.

“Ah, I see, you only wanted your daddy to carry you. So let’s walk a bit until you’re asleep again, shall we?”

You hadn’t been able to help yourself and sneaked out to watch them with a smile - your now fiancé and your beloved baby.

All this time, you had thought that a new baby would make up for all the pain, fulfilling your lives after this blessing had slipped through your fingers twice already, working towards this only one future.

But you were wrong.

Your daughter had not been born with a job. It was not her responsibility to fill the void inside of you or be a replacement for her lost siblings. She was not a resolution to hard times, nor the means to end your grief.

Because you weren’t grieving for her. She was not them.

She was your own, little happiness, the result of pure love. When she had first seen the light of day, she didn’t make you whole again. She made your lives perfect as you were already whole.

You would never forget about the babies you weren’t able to have, but you wouldn’t put this weight on your daughter’s shoulder. You would carry it yourself. One day, perhaps, you would tell her about what a miracle she was.

A miracle because, during that certain time in life, she had decided to come into your lives, screaming and determined to make the most out of her parents.

And this time, she was able to stay.

[sukirichi]

happy little accidents

— Life is a series of unfortunate events, but sometimes, there are happy little accidents.

REQUEST. (accidental pregnancy, fuck buddies au) + childhood friends to lovers + baby moments with father! megumi

CONTENT/WARNINGS. slight smut, slight exhibitionism (I think? there’s a CCTV lmao) just daddy megumi uwu

NOTES. hi anon, thank you for requesting and joining the event! I have to admit...I don’t really know how to write this and I just had to ask my mother about her experiences in pregnancy LMAO. I apologize in advance if this sucks, I’m pretty good at fluff but domestic and cute stuff with children isn’t my expertise asggkhl I’m awkward around babies and kids so anyways, I hope you like it! OH AND ALSO I HAVE A CAMEO LMAO

Megumi’s hands runs up under your shirt, bringing about a shiver forward when his cold fingers come into with your warm skin. You feel him smile onto the kiss, his grip nothing but teasing before he brushes the underside of your breast, prompting you to grip closer to his hoodie. You and him were childhood friends; having always liked one another until playing house was no longer a game a but dream, but his family was too strict and controlling – they’ve made it clear long ago this relationship could never and would never happen.

His Uncle Naoya made sure of it.

But that didn’t stop the both of you. All the way from highschool until now in your university days, you and Megumi are still stuck together by the hip, occasionally fucking whenever time allowed. Weekdays are spent staring longingly at each other in the hallways, the weekends flourishing into finally’s and hushed kisses under the sheets, completely unaware of the world you both trudged in.

Today was one of those days, and you’re nothing less of passionate as you swipe your tongue out to taste his lips, smiling when you realize he’s also grown used to wearing your mint flavoured lip balm. “Mhm, Megumi, I missed you,” you placed your legs beside his arms, a contented sigh entering his mouth as he closed his eyes.

“You miss me? I’m always around you,” he reminds you, pulling away momentarily to tug your shirt to the side where he leaves a soft patch of kisses. “Never gonna leave your side, baby.”

“You better not. I’m the best you’ll ever have.”

Megumi nods wholeheartedly in agreement, not wasting time before he pulls you closer to him. You’re almost weightless as you crash on top of him, hands tangled into the other’s hair and his large palm squeezing your breast. It produces a breathy moan from you, a thread of saliva connecting your lips when it comes again – that hellish bitter and sour bile that flows up to your throat. You push yourself off him and run to the bathroom, the content of your stomachs poured while your groans echo around the room.

He’s beside you in an instant, crouching beside you to pull your hair up and pat your back. Once you’ve finished throwing up, you clutch at the indistinguishable bloating of your stomach, leaning back into his touch while you slowly regain your composure.

Your head is throbbing uncomfortably again, one that wouldn’t go away no matter how much you press your thumbs against it.

“Wh-what’s wrong? Are you sick or something?”

You chuckle a bit from the way he frets over you, hands tilting your cheeks side to side while he pales, a sheen of worry visible on his hairline. He’s always been such a worrywart. You look behind him and see the box of condoms in your half-open medicine cabinet, the sight making your heart drop in your chest.

“Megs...when was the last time we had sex?”

“Well,” he scratches the back of his head, “We’ve both been busy from uni, so...last month, I guess? It’s been a long time.”

You swallowed audibly. You’ve recently gotten that box of condoms because if you remember correctly, last time you both skipped straight to the deed after realizing you ran out of it. Eyes flicking over his confused ones, your throat ran dry and itchy from the throw up session, your voice low as you say, “I’m three weeks late on my period, Megs.”

He looks just as shocked as you are, but he doesn’t give you the time to recover before he rushes out into your apartment. For a moment, you’re left heartbroken at the cold bathroom tiles, thinking that he left, but Megumi comes back a few minutes later, a pregnancy test kit and some chocolates inside a plastic bag. Your eyes widen when he gently ushers you to sit on the toilet, his feet tapping impatiently on the floor while you both wait for the result.

And there it is.

The timer on his phone goes off. Megumi rushes beside you, his chin resting on your shoulder as he blinks at the test kit. He turns to you and blinks in question, wondering what the hell it meant.

“’Gumi...it’s positive,” you cry out, sending him into a stagger backwards when you jump at him. Thankfully, he’s carried you too many times to count that he’s natural at hoisting you into his arms, still rendered speechless as you announce, “You’re going to be a dad!”

It’s been five whole months since you and Megumi turned into being stable fuck buddies, intent on hiding your relationship from both your families, into homeless and young parents whose fear over life and the future only increased tenfold now with the growing baby inside you.

You still remember that dreadful moment when both of you are kicked out into your family estate, Megumi’s Uncle Naoya especially enraged over the news. He doesn’t even give his nephew a chance to pack his bags before he signals the bodyguards to escort you out, then takes away all Megumi’s privileges and former luxury of being part of the Zenin Clan. You assume he’d want to strangle his pitiful Uncle for the never ending mistreatment, but your now boyfriend is nothing but happy, relieved that he’s been freed from the tight reins that always got in both your way.

Unbeknownst to the controlling Zenin Clan head, his wife is much more cunning than he is. He knows his wife always had some sorts of tricks hidden up in her sleeve, but even you were surprised when Megumi’s Aunt Suki shows up in your college dorm one day, throwing a set of keys your way with a wink before driving off back to become Naoya’s beloved trophy wife.

She lent you one of her high-estate apartments and even a humble car, silently wiring fees into your bank account since Megumi’s was already shut down.

Truly, if it wasn’t for her, you and Megumi wouldn’t be able to live this comfortably no matter how much both of you worked your ass off.

Now, none of you had to worry about not getting to make ends meet, no more worrying about putting your health at risk by working two jobs a day along with university – you and Megumi agreed to take advantage of her kindness just until the baby was born, opting to live quietly and comfortably in your shared home that would soon be filled with more memories. Well, as comfortably as you both could anyway, since pregnancy – although a beautiful experience – wasn’t always rainbows and unicorns.

Megumi comes home one day, the food you’ve always been craving from the Chinese restaurant from the other town present inside his bag. He’s tired from uni, even more so that he shares your burden of becoming new parents, but every time he comes home to you, all his exhaustion is wiped away, especially with the evident growth of your belly.

Your boyfriend runs up to you after placing the food on the counter, his arms wide open to get a hug – he’s gotten extremely touchy ever since the pregnancy – when you reel away from him, face turning green.

Your fingers come to pitch at your nose, eyes narrowed at his confused pout. “Ugh, Megumi, your deodorant stinks.”

“You were the one who got this for me, though,” his brows furrow as he lifts his sleeve up to sniff himself. He doesn’t smell bad... “You said you liked it on me,” he mumbles more to himself than you, staying still in his spot when he sees how colourless you’ve become. “Why are you looking at me like that? I showered today.”

“I can’t stand the smell of you, I can’t, gosh,” pushing past him, you rush to the toilets, the morning sickness well present all the way until sundown as you throw up. Megumi stands at the doorway, hands extended in front of him as he’s unsure whether he could help you or not. You firmly shake your head at him, lips turned into a sneer. “No, don’t get near me or I will honestly whack you with my purse, Megumi. Get rid of that deodorant and find a scent free one or something.”

Megumi is left with a slack jaw when you hop into bed afterwards, too tired and irritated to finish your papers. Seeing that he should probably do the same and pamper you instead, Megumi is silent as he crawls under the covers, only to be kicked out with a harsh kick to his thigh and a fiery, “Get out!”

“Nobara,” he whines into the phone, too fearful to even look at the bedroom at the thought that you’d feel his gaze and get even angrier. Your instincts and senses sharpens with each passing day; he won’t risk it. “My girlfriend hates me!”

“I could see why.”

Megumi groans at his friend’s flippant tone, the sound of a nail file grazing acrylics mixed with lo-fi music playing from the other line. “I’m serious – she doesn’t even want me a foot near her! When I tried to join her on the bed, she literally woke up just to hit me with a pillow. Right in the face!”

“Let me guess, you’re banned from the bedroom and staying on the couch?”

“Yeah, I am,” he sulks on the couch, “I don’t know why she hates me. I can’t imagine what I did wrong.”

“You don’t have to do anything wrong for a pregnant woman to hate you, Fushiguro. It’s not your fault your face is just really annoying,” Megumi makes a sound of protest before slapping a hand over his lips, nervous gaze darting at your door again. He relaxes into the seat; you’ve probably fallen asleep. “But on a more serious note, I think it’s the hormones. She’s erratic right now and you can’t blame her, she’s literally growing a child inside of her, dude, are you crying?”

“She might divorce me because of my deodorant.”

“Idiot, you two aren’t even married!” Nobara bellows loud enough that Megumi pulls the phone away from his ear, waiting until she’s calmed down and continues speaking like she didn’t just burst his ear drums. “Listen, just be extra sweet and careful around her, okay? Don’t open your mouth as well unless you want to die. Now get a notepad or something, we’re going to devise the best Baby Mama Seduction Plan that is guaranteed to win her heart.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Nobara!”

“Hmph, you owe me tickets to that fashion show though. Get your rich ass uncle to pull some connections or something.”

“Nobara, you know I can’t—”

“Oh shit, is that your girl about to kick you in the face?” Megumi yelps as his body flips at the direction of your room, both hands raised in surrender with his phone pressed between his ear and shoulder. He sighs – the door is still closed – he should be safe for now. Meanwhile, Nobara snickers cockily, almost as if she could see everything. As always, Nobara was triumphant. “That’s right, we both don’t want that to happen, so stick to your end of the deal man.”

Megumi stays up the whole night to execute Nobara’s plan. It’s tiring to run back and forth in the open convenience stores just to fill the fridge up with all your favourite food, but Megumi is determined to have you accept him again, even if he knows you’re not actually rejecting him.

By the time you’ve woken up, all beautiful and glowing as you pad out your room, Megumi stands up straight to conceal his body ridden with exhaustion. He just wants to make you happy.

“What’s all this?”

“You’ve been working hard,” he starts off unsurely, a hand scratching the back of his head as he gauges for your reaction. You plop down on the dining table and don’t scowl as you take a whiff of the food, blinking for a few seconds before you dig in. It’s enough for him to take as a go-signal, and he walks beside you carefully, his voice wavering and soft. “I just wanted to surprise you – show you how much I love and admire you...all that.”

“That’s suspicious,” you mouth through a mouthful of dumpling, but smile anyways with your arms extended. “Come here, give me a kiss.”

Megumi is beyond elated as he buries himself in the warmth of your arms again, sighing when you kiss his cheeks and jaw. “Are we good?”

“Did you replace your deodorant?”

“Yes...”

“Good boy,” you kiss him on the lips this time. Megumi has the audacity to blush as if he didn’t just fuck a baby into you, making you laugh before you slap his ass, last night’s irration now replaced with a reminder that this was Megumi – your first love and everything more. There was no way you wouldn’t be ‘good’ with him; you’d go to heavens and back for him, but maybe once you’re done birthing his child. “Yeah, we’re good. Get the mint choco ice cream pint for me?” Megumi sprints to perform your commands, and you reward him by pulling him in for a deeper kiss the time, his lips so sweet and minty. You can’t help but sigh, falling for him over and over again. “You’re such a sweetheart, Megs. This is why I’m head over heels for you.”

“You didn’t want me sleeping beside you for a week straight though.”

Your nose scrunches at the memory – that slight change in your expression making Megumi step back – as you wave a spoon at him, glaring at him in warning. “Like I said, you stank.”

But...pregnancy wasn’t all that bad for the both of you. There were times you’re unable to keep your hands off him. Although unexpected and mostly occurring in the most inconvenient situations, Megumi can’t say he’s complaining, especially not when you push him towards the wall just as the elevator doors closed.

“Daddy,” you moan, guiding his hands into your already soaking wet panties. Megumi breathes sharply as he cups your drenching core, wondering how you’ve gotten this aroused without him doing anything sexual in particular.

The nickname spilling past your lips is unforeseen though, as is his growing kink for it when he hardens immediately.  

“Please, please, please, I need you so much – make me feel good, will you?”

Megumi has to pin your needy, trailing hands all over his chest down to your sides, his pupils blown wide as the elevator ascends from one floor to the other. His eyes dart to the blinking red light from the cameras, his Adam’s apple bobbing when you don’t stop in the slighthest, only leaning forward to tug and nip at the skin of his neck. Megumi groans at your ministrations; you know very well that was his sensitive spot. “Y/N, we’re literally in the elevator, just wait until we get back home—”

When Megumi tries to push you away to stop your hands from palming his boner, you growl, eyes fierce and heated as you turn to him. “Do you want me to chop your dick off and prevent you from having a second child?”

“N-no.”

“Then shut up and fuck me.”

“Fuck, okay, don’t blame me if I make you sore, though.”

You roll your eyes at him, your hands moving expertly as you bunch your skirt up to your waist to show him that your bud was already swollen just for him. “Megumi, my boobs are already are its most sore point, I don’t give a fuck anymore.”

Megumi makes quick work of shoving his pants down just to his knees, gentle yet needy as he pushes your chest flat on the walls, round and perky ass puckered for him to take you already. He could cum just from the sight of you bending over for him like this, your arousal already dripping down your thighs as you wiggle your hips at him, breathless in the desire to be taken once more.

There were still fifteen floors to go before you reached your destination. Megumi’s brows pinch together in anxiety that anyone could press for the lift, but you’re also submissively bent over for him, moaning and gasping his name even when it’s only the tip of his cock sliding into you.

He sees the way your fingers hover over the buttons, clearly more prepared to shut the doors and deny others entry than he was, and he thinks fuck it to himself before he buries himself deep into you, head thrown back at the heavenly and salacious feeling of fucking you raw. You’re somehow warmer and tighter, wetter with puffier lips during your second trimester. Just as he blanches at the thought he could hurt you, he remembers the doctor’s encouragement of more sex. Being the good boyfriend he is, Megumi fucks hard into you, groaning and panting when your walls clamp down on him.

He only wants to help you.

Days of rubbing your feet and singing to your belly were gone – now replaced with laughter pouring into your house and switching from listening to Mother Mother into actually enjoying nursery rhymes playing from the stereo.

It feels just like yesterday when he rushes you to the emergency room, your hand nearly crushing his during your contractions before you gave birth to his child.

Megumi has never really been much of an emotional person, preferring to be calm and stoic unless you’re around; the rare times he actually lets his walls down. Surrounded by a group of doctors, though, Megumi stops caring about saving face when they hand him his daughter. He isn’t the least bit embarrassed when he sobs upon seeing the tiny bundle of joy in his arms, so small and vulnerable that promised there and then – he’d do everything he can to protect his child and give them the best future.

Fushiguro Megumi is a hands-down helicopter dad. The moment you’re able to take your daughter back home, he’s already had the whole house baby proofed. Along with studying for his exams, he’s also switching back and forth to parenting guide books.

You can tell he’s taking his job as a dad very seriously. Megumi doesn’t hesitate to shoot out of the bed in the middle of the night whenever he hears his daughter cry, racing you to her crib while he rocks her back and forth and you prepare her milk. You’re both utterly tired and sleep deprived, your head resting on his shoulder as your baby calms down in his arms. Faintly, you feel him kiss the top of your head, encouraging you to go back to sleep with the assurance he can handle it.

But of course, you’re the stubborn parent, and you drag your boyfriend and daughter back to bed, making sure there was enough space to make her comfortable before falling asleep.

Being a parent – especially with the love of your life – has never felt any more magical.

Of course, it was hard and definitely not a walk in the park, but it was worth it. Every time you came home from school, Megumi would already be there, his daughter babbling nonsensically in his arms while he prepared her meals. At the sounds of the door opening, both of them would run to you, showering you with kisses while you did the same.

Both your families have still refused to accept you back – not that you both minded – but it was getting shameful to keep relying on his relative to provide for your family. Eventually, you and Megumi decided that the other stays to take care of your baby while you work after class.

You’re staggering inside your home like a zombie after a long day, muscles aching from too much work and brain barely functioning due to the lack of sleep. With a long, drawn out sigh, you plop on the couch next to your boyfriend who jolts back awake, still careful not to let his drooling daughter wake up in his arms. Upon seeing it’s just you, Megumi leans over to kiss you on the nose, smelling sweetly of floral detergent powder and baby cologne.

“Welcome home,” he murmurs at your skin, your eyes already fluttering close at the comfort and warmth of home. “Scarlet is fast asleep. She couldn’t wait for you to kiss her goodnight anymore.”

“Don’t be dramatic. Mommy will always come home to the two most precious people in the world,” Now, it’s your turn to kiss Megumi to remind him he’s also doing a great job. You know he’s working just as hard you are, and you honestly don’t think you could do this without him. “Megumi,” you begin, tracing soft circles into his wrist to feel his lulling heartbeat.

“Hmm?”

“Have I ever told you I loved you?”

“I think I know that already,” he smiles romantically at you – even after years, you’re still very much smitten with that smile, and the sight of him and your daughter alone has you relaxing back in your seat.

“Yes, but you need to hear it again,” you tell him, cupping his face into your palms. Megumi sighs as he leans closer into your warmth, his hands patting your daughter’s back to soothe her in her slumber. “You’re such a natural at this – being a father. I’m really lucky I had a family with you. It’s all I ever wanted,” Burying yourself closer into his arms and collecting the both of them into an embrace, you smile into his shoulder, feeling like you’re on cloud nine. “I don’t think life is gonna get better than this, Megs. I’m so happy right now I feel like I could die.”

“Don’t say the d-word around her,” he jokes, the two of you sharing tired and dry laughter. Once the amusement subsides, Megumi’s other hand shifts to squeeze your thigh to get your attention. “Y/N...do you ever think about...making us official?”

“What do you mean?” you mumble sleepily, “How else official could we get? We live together and we have a baby. Soon, we’re going to be employed too and then we can provide better for her and stop relying on Aunt Suki so much,” Megumi nods above you, but his lack of response is worrying that you look up to him, frowning as you see that his face is pulled deep into thought. “We’re already a family, Megs. What’s on your mind?”

“I want to marry you,” he blurts out, “I want to make you mine and mine only – I see a future and a forever with you,” Megumi looks you straight in the eye the whole time. “Marry me, Y/N. Please.”

You’re rendered speechless.

You love him so much, you really do, and nothing about that will change. After spending a lifetime with you, Megumi knows just by looking at your face that there’s a but coming afterward and he clenches his jaw, sadness swirling in his eyes that you have to stop him before his thoughts run off again. “I want that too, Megumi, believe me,” you reassure, brushing his hair back with your fingers; a gesture that always pulled him back to you. “I just don’t want to rush things, you know? We can still barely stand on our own and we have Scarlet to worry about. I think we should focus more on her future than ours.”

Megumi nods, albeit disappointed, though this doesn’t stop him from kissing you straight on the lips before he mutters, “I understand but...think about it, at least?”

“You already know my answer would be yes.”

“Scarlet! I wonder where my little princess is hiding,” Megumi announces from outside your room, your toddler giggling beside you as you both hide behind the closet hand-in-hand. Four years later, you and Megumi are married, and life’s gotten a lot easier – in addition to it being a whole lot more domestic since Megumi takes his husband title just as seriously as being a father. Right now, he’s crawling outside, his voice lowered in an attempt to be scary. “If I find her, she’s going to face the wrath of the tickle monster!”

“Tickle monster!” Scarlet gasps beside you, turning to you with wide eyes. “Mummy, I don’t want tickles!”

“Then we better be quiet so Daddy doesn’t find us!”

With your voice intentionally louder than a whisper, it doesn’t take long before Megumi opens the closet doors, carrying you both effortlessly before dropping you all down onto the bed. “I found you!” You all tickle each other and laugh, your daughter falling into panicked squeals while you chortle at the side. Megumi then hoists Scarlet up before the both of you kiss both sides of her cheeks, sending the giggling child into an utter ticklish mess.

While the two are busy tickling one another, you feign a gasp, clutching at your husband’s bicep.  “Megumi!” your eyes widen, pointing deftly at the kitchen with trembling lips for effect. “Can you please check the oven – I think I left something in there and it might be burning!”

“I don’t smell anything,” is all he says, but runs there anyway. Megumi stands in front of in confusion, Scarlet safely bundled in his arms while her father opens the oven, frowning as he takes the object out and inspects it. “Mittens? But Scarlet is already—” Just then, Megumi’s jaw drops, his grin stretched wide while Scarlet keeps poking at the mittens, trying to make them fit into her slightly larger hands. “No way. Another one?”

“Another candy?”

You laugh at Megumi’s beaming face that matches his daughter’s – the two looking too much alike – but for completely opposite reasons. “We’ll get you all the candies you want, sweetheart,” you swipe a candy from the counter and hand it to your daughter’s grabby hands, pecking Megumi’s cheeks who is still beyond flustered at the announcement. “But yeah we have another one – and it’s a boy!”

[niskoo]

Burrito run

pairing: rich kid! Jake x rich kid! reader

genre: fluff, crack, bff2l! AU

warnings: food, swearing, sneaking out (??)

word count: 3k words

a/n: my dumbass posted this on my nct acc omfg

this was originally for haechan of nct for my nct acc (@daegall) but i thought i could treat you guys to hehe

networks: @enhypennetwork

You had known Jake for more than half of your lives. Thanks to both of your rich ass parents setting you two up for a playdate at the age of 12, now you have found your rock and partner in crime. You know when he's feeling down, when he wants to cause trouble for no reason, when he has an eye for someone, heck, you know when and how to get him out of any situation when needed.

Like right now, as he gives you a side glance as he talks boringly to a group of men. All they talked about was business. Jake wanted to talk about that one burrito place down the block, he wants to get out of there and go get some. He wants to get out of this stupid high class party he has no part of.

He knows you do too, he knows by the way you keep glancing at the back door by the kitchen, and how you occasionally move to each group closer to the door. You know he catches up to the plan, how he also moves from group to group, excusing himself every 2 minutes.

You politely excuse yourself from the many unknown rich aunts who just questioned your love life, giving them a very passive smile, before turning to move to another group.

You don't get to go to another group, because you're already so close to the door, and Jake approaches you.

"Why, hello there, miss Y/n."

You feign shock at his greeting, holding a hand to your chest, "My, Jaeyun, wasn't it? It's been too long!"

Your best friend nods, playing along to the small skit you two have created, "About 2 hours, I think? You've grown very beautifully,"

You flick your hand at him, nudging his shoulder not-so-gently, "Oh stop."

You bite your lip to hold back a loud laugh when Jake winces at your harsh push at his shoulder, watching as his face twists in playful anger. You can't help but thin he looks absolutely adorable, nose scrunched up and eyes narrowed in a non meaningful glare, you ought to kiss his puffed cheeks.

You shake the last thought from your mind, bringing the elegant glass of champagne to your lips, sipping lightly at the sweet and slightly sour liquid. You then take a double check around the spacious room, to see if anyone is watching.

Your mother and father were chatting at the far corner with the parents of Jay, a guy you met earlier this evening. He looked just as bored as you. Jake's parents stood not too far from your parents, greeting anyone who approached them.

This was your chance.

Quickly, as Jake was mumbling something about you growing up strongly as well, you grab his arm. He yelps in surprise, as you drag him through the back door, lightly blushing at your gentle touch at his wrist.

The back door soon slams behind the both of you, and you are met with a large yard.

"Y/n! What if someone caught us?"

Giving Jake a side glare, you start to trudge down the flight of stairs to the garden, "You were too busy complaining about my guns to notice we had a chance to escape. You're welcome."

"You're weak!"

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

You ignore the upcoming argument you could've started, taking off your painful heels. They were absolutely stunning, but stung your feet constantly. Beauty is pain, as mother says.

"Lead the way to the burrito truck you claimed to see on the way here!"

Through the many bushes, and many guards, and even more bushes, you finally make it out the the big mansion, and into the dark streets. It's 10 in the night, you hope the burrito place is still open or your only choice left is a McDonalds about an hour away or convenience store food. Not that you minded, but you haven't had a burrito since you were 18. You had it right after graduation day with one of your closes friends who you have no idea of her whereabouts now.

The last time Jake had a burrito is about last week, the first time he met another rich kid named Sunghoon. Their parents gave them a bunch of money to go spend on expensive and top quality foods, but they both mutually agreed to get cheap burritos that would probably give them a bad stomach.

Jake takes the lead, as expected, for he was the one who spotted the food truck. He took off his blazer some time ago, you don't remember when, but with his jacket thrown over his elbow and sleeves rolled up like that, you can't help but admire.

You notice every single little thing about him, his slow, rhythmic paces, occasionally kicking stray rocks on the sidewalk. You watch as his hair slightly bounces as he kicks yet another rock, and you want to pet his hair.

There was that one time when you were 16 and you had a movie night as your parents went away for some business, he had his head on your lap, you didn't mind for some reason. At some point you had started playing lightly with a few strands of his hair, but you didn't notice. The moment you softly ran your hands through his hair, you realized, and decided to keep your hands to yourself after that. To your surprise he protested against it, claiming it was very comforting. So now every time one of you come over to the other's house, you would somehow find yourself playing with his hair, like pure human instinct.

But now as you observed your best friend more, you have a different feeling running through you as you had an urge to softly play with them once more, as if it wasn't as platonic anymore. But that was absurd. you've been friends for 10 years now, why are you just feeling like this now?

Your heart jumps in your chest when you are suddenly met with Jake's eyes, shining brightly with a slight mischievous gloss glazing over them. "Can we pick up the pace please? I'm getting pretty hungry and I know you are too."

Your heart softens as he sticks his arm out, gesturing you to come next to him. You jog barefoot to his side, instantly looping your arm with his.

It doesn't take long to find the food truck Jake mentioned, just a 10 minutes from the mansion, somewhere near the center of town. You had to drive about 2 hours to get here, and so did Jake, so it's a bit strange how he knew his way around the town so easily. You guess he just is that way.

You practically drool at the smell of savory foods that lingers in the air, sucking the saliva in your mouth.

Your best friend eyes you playfully, nudging your hip with his, "See? What did I tell you? Burrito food truck!"

You don't respond, simply grunting and dragging him to the cashier to order some food.

It takes a lot of time to decide on what burrito you'd buy, there were even tacos, and weirdly, cookies and croissants. It was your dream food truck, really. In the end, you both went for the classic burrito, nothing could beat it.

There were no seats to the food truck, sadly, so you and Jake opted to sit on the curb, legs sprawled out on the road, hopefully no cars drive by.

"You ready?" Your best friend asks you, looking at you with much anticipation. You stare at your own burrito in much more anticipation, it's been 4 years since you had a burrito. You wonder how you could survive that long.

You nod vivaciously, already opening your mouth to take a bite. Jake chuckles as he watches you take your first bite, your cheeks instantly puffing out full of the contents. You shut your eyes in bliss, licking your lips for anything left on them.

As you continue to chew, you shake your head, "Shit, I haven't had anything this good in sooo long." You exaggerate, taking yet another bite of the heavenly treat.

Jake can't agree more, he just had a burrito last week, but somehow eating one with you feels different. Especially when you don't mind him seeing and pointing out the smeared food around your mouth, simply trying to search for it with your tongue instead.

Your best friend wants to cherish this moment forever, keep it deep in his heart and laugh at it in the future when he suddenly gets reminded of it, he wants to brag about it to his friends, maybe even share it with his grandchildren, he doesn't know. All he knows is that you're it for him.

You're the one he's spent all of his teenage years with, his first heartbreak, first sleepover, first drink was with you, heck, you were his first close friend!

You know so much about him, you share so much about yourself to him, he's the one you trust. He's the first person you call out to when you're down, first person you call out to in the best of your times. It amazing how much you've been through together, and Jake thinks anything is possible, as long as it's you.

Falling in love seems so much easier than ever, especially at that moment, eating a burrito instead of the expensive caviar at the party before, just with him. And nobody else.

He wants to make you his. Not just his best friend, his lover, his soul mate, his whole world. Not that you weren't already.

"What's wrong?" you suddenly ask Jake, startling him. "You nudge your chin at the burrito in his hands, "Why aren't you eating?"

Jake flushes, realizing he's been staring at you the whole time, taking a big bite of his burrito, before looking away bashfully. "It's nothing."

You grow suspicious of his actions, watching as he swallows and bites his lip shyly. You choose to leave it there, instead bringing up your parents being out of town next week.

The conversation keeps going, from one topic to the other, swerving all over the place, but that's just how it is, talking to the person you're most comfortable with.

The conversation goes on and on until you find yourself walking along the streets blindly, fiddling with the paper packaging of the burrito you ate. You also find yourself wearing Jake's shoes instead of walking barefoot, he gave to you after you complained about walking over so many rocks, and you didn't like how your heart swarmed and beat dangerously fast as he claimed it would be better if you borrowed them for the night.

Strangely enough, his blazer he took off about and hour ago now stayed on your shoulders, keeping you warm from the cold breezes of the night. All your best friend's actions made you swoon over him, and that wasn't something you would feel often. Maybe occasionally, but not everyday.

Jake doesn't know what got into him when he took his shoes off for you, or when he draped his blazer on your shoulders, or why he took your heels and held it for you. What he does know, is that he enjoys the way your lips purse and a light shade of pink dusted over your cheeks. Or how you pull his blazer tighter around your body and sub-consciously loop your arm around his again.

You two never really got to go through the proper high school experience, your parents forced you to go to a strict school with strict rules, they didn't even have celebrations.

Jake always imagines what it would be like to go to a dance, prom, maybe? Full of fun, dancing, and definitely you. You had a similar vision. Chugging down punch or soda and dancing crazily together until you both get sick and throw up in the bathroom.

Prom was like a mutual yearning for the both of you.

God, how you would kill to have a normal high school experience.

"You know," Jake starts, "this feels like I'm walking you home after prom."

You can't stop the grin from reaching your lips, giving into it and letting out a soft laugh. Softly, you elbow his side, "Corny."

There are a few laughs here and there after that, but overall just comforting silence that goes throughout the night. The crickets that echo throughout the night are your only noises, and the few cars rushing by. You two come to a stop at a random bench by a streetlamp, settling there until you realize it's time to go back to the party.

You realize it, but you just don't want to let go of the moment.

You feel Jake hook his leg under yours, swinging them together in sync as you rest and stare into the night sky. Tonight isn't that much of a pretty night, no stars, barely a moon, but that's alright, you're enjoying the most of it.

You turn your head away from the boring black sky, instead facing the mot interesting thing you find in life. Jake is staring down at your swinging legs, smiling at the sight. He fiddles softly with your fingers, caressing and tracing them as if they were one of the most precious things in the world.

Your eyes trail from your tangled legs, to your tangled hands, all the way up to Jake's face, tracing each and every detail with your gaze. You don't remember when he matured, you only remember the fluffy cheeked bowl cut Jake when you two were still middle schoolers. Now all that cheek has become more defined, especially his jaw, you can't help but admire him. He was like a piece of art. Your favorite piece of art.

For the second time that night, you focus on his hair, and ought to run your hands through them once again. To pull him into your embrace as he rests on you, to simply relax and twirl his strands around your fingers.

It seems like whenever you're staring at his hair, Jake just startles you with his eyes, still glossy, but this time they hold something different.

They admire you just as much as yours admire him.

Slowly, as if an unspoken agreement, you lean in closer to his face. His breath close to your cheek sets goosebumps trailing your body, and his touch now on your neck warms you inside.

Your eyes flit between his eyes and lips, oh those plump, soft lips you dream of. You would never admit it, but you have had many urges to crash your own upon them.

And that's exactly what you do. Though, crash isn't the right word to describe it. They press together softly more than recklessly, pulling into a soft lock, something much more than just platonic love being poured into it. Pure bliss and love are being poured like gentle and calm rivers, the ones you find clear and beautiful in parks. It runs faster as Jake tilts your head to kiss you closer, lips wrapped up in the warmth of yours. It feels like home to him.

Jake is absolutely perfect, you decide, despite all the many nights spent together breaking down, left for each other to pick the other up, it makes him perfect.

He thinks you're the most flawless thing he's ever seen, despite all the gems and crystals he sees in most parties, you're the brightest one shining, he could never find any jewel more valuable than you.

You pull away with one last soft lock of your lips, but stay close and ghost them together. You find his eyes the shining the most you have ever seen in the 10 years you have spent with him, one different emotion fluttering behind them. Love.

You surely don't feel that big of a person when you're at these big rich parties, even if everyone knew of your name. But kissing your best friend and being the one he sees, he loves, being his, you feel like you could rule the world.

You know you're his after this. How could you not? The way he breaks out into a very bashful smile when you leave one last peck on his lips, the way he holds you so close. There was no way he couldn't be yours after this.

A week later you have a very sleepy boyfriend on your couch, his head resting on your lap as you play softly with his hair. Nothing is all that different, except for all the kisses he steals when reaching up to you. And of course, the corny lines being thrown at each other as a competition to see who can come up with the cheesiest, most disgusting pick up line ever.

"I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my baerito."

"Ugh Jake that was just straight but bad! Not even funny or cheesy!"

Jake simply laughs, and wraps his arms around you just as he claimed to have wanted to, mumbling how he agreed into your forehead.

Being in his arms, you feel like you could fight everything that would try to hurt your lover, but for now you stick to the playful pokes he gives to your stomach and sides.

[tth-pdf]

Burning for love; JJK [02]

Contents: Smut, like a little heavy, but just a little, this just started, dirty talk, supernatural, romance, fluff and another painfully unedited chapter.

Pairing: Werewolf!alpha!jungkook x Omega!reader

Summary: A handsome man is hunting you in the dreams world, making every day more difficult to repress the need to come and find him in the middle of the night to submit yourself to his every wish.

Requests: ON

A/N: Hello little ones, I’m really sorry about this chapter because don’t know if this is what you were waiting for but mainly for the time that I promised before but it actually took me more than I thought and this is a tiny bit longer than what I was used to, so hope this makes something for you, thank you for reading! 😭😭😔😔🥺🥺💖💖

Jungkook wasn’t feeling himself that day and the fact that he did’t really knew what was happening with his mind was not really great, all that plus that attitude of yours adopted after knowing the truth behind the bond between your (by that time) unknown mate, so after that one and only night that you let him have you for himself and just himself he knew that he would never had enough of you. Ever since he was just a little pup learning how to shift, watching you so timid, behind your mom’s legs, smaller in size than him and afraid that you wouldn’t be able to have friends, but in fact every single one of the pups around you wanted to be your friend, your glow was just like that, so attracting even as a kid but sometimes you were a little overwhelmed with the attention, almost on the verge of tears, even at that time, being so little old he would feel the need to drop everything he was doing and just held you, maybe a little kiss on the cheek, but just with you, he would cringe if he had to kiss other girls cheek, he wanted to protect you. So his mother knew before himself, and she would just watch with heart eyes, eventually she would explain to him the paths that the moon weaves on her own to reunite two souls destined to be one, and he thought he was dreaming, but he had to wait, until you were ready. You were always good friends, not too close since you were still too shy, just enough to let him scent you every now and then, let him walk you home and even held your hand in the way to end with just a tiny hug but he started to grow up and since he was two years older than you he presented as an alpha first, he had to learn what a heat was, the pain of being incapable of touching you and showing you how much he wanted to spend his life with you, the pain that caused by having you so close but so far away. His mother and father were watching with concern and living the difficulties with him, everything was tolerable until Jungkook turned eighteen, his wolf becoming stronger and more demanding, clawing at him to come and get you but a little part of his brain reminded him that you were only sixteen and not prepared yet, so his parents, with the intention of distracting his mind sent him away to a camp were other future pack leaders trained to make the best of their abilities and it actually worked, but when he was back, a year and a half later, you being a young lady with new fucking aromas, it felt like you were a damn drug, your hormones changed and you were almost ready, but he couldn’t do anything about his desire so he walked away from you and you thought that he hated you, that somehow he changed his mind about you all this time by himself but boy, you couldn’t be more wrong. You tried, you really tried, tried to forget about how he scented you, kept an eye on you in case you would need help, little gazes around, expressing something without the need of words, tried to forget his puppy eyes and that pretty smile of his, not even mentioning the protective bubble that somehow he manages to create for you, but when you thought that every little detail was finally out of your mind your omega blood kicked you in the ribs and the dreams started to come and go, your mind understanding all the feelings that you had with him, but you didn’t wanted it that way, you wanted to be paired with someone simple, just like you, not really wanting to be the center of attention and being with Jungkook just meant getting hateful glances from the pretty omegas around, Jungkook was wanted in more that one way and transporting both of your thoughts to right now, this moment, you wrapped around his hard body as if your life depended on it, reminded you that after all you would be the one he held at the end of the day, always.

It’s to this point that you don’t have idea how both of you ended in what you supposed is his room or at least a place where he spends a lot of time, judging only by the incredible and strong scent of him everywhere.

“Don’t worry my pretty angel, I built this place just for you. I knew since the very first moment I laid eyes on you that you will be mine and a good alpha is the one who takes good care of his omega, right?”

If your mind was gone before now you feel like floating, but at the same time all that’s in your mind is him, him, him and him alone.

He’s caressing your cheek while he’s talking, the timbre of his voice like silk hugging your sense of hearing, your sense of touch screaming for you to past your fingertips between his silky hair strands and to trace his lips, your sense of taste aching to know every single one of his flavors and your sense of smell… Oh hell, that blessing of a powerful sense of smell, sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse, but right now there’s nothing more pleasant for the omega blood running through your veins than that, you wish you could melt with him, right now you feel like its not enough, even with you straddling him, nose buried deep in his scent gland and rubbing yourself on him.

“Pretty girl is having a hard time, isn’t she, where do you want me to touch, huh, honey?”

You couldn’t wait any longer so instantly after he finished that words your hand took his to tease yourself a little, closed eyes while you traveled his hand in the middle of your chest, down your tummy and finally over your hot and aching center.

“Gods above, I swear I can smell every little detail, have I triggered your rut sweet baby?”

You felt like simple jello between the fingers of your seductive lover.

“You want me to rub you over all this layers of clothes, don’t you want me to use my mouth on this glorious cunt of yours, knock you up with a healthy litter of pups, with this amazing tits to drink from, gods, such a dream for your alpha”

There wasn’t any rational thoughts in your mind right now, everything was kind of too much, the roughness of the sheets under both of you, the roughness of his fingers, everything was too hot.

“You made me wait so long for you. My little omega does not have idea of the pain I used to feel just by seeing you smile and blush, felt like a sin to me, smelling like one too”

By the time he’s saying that he was changing positions kneeling you right in front of his pretty thighs.

“I’m really sorry for you puppy, but you will have to wait just like me back then”

You were slightly confused, since your mind was all over your man and suddenly losing his warm touch when he kneel you before him.

“Touch me now little one, touch me with that silky hands, put that pretty mouth of yours on me”

You were gone again, you have never sucked someone off but you were entirely being guided by the heat of the moment and natural instincts.

“Pull me out of the pants angel”

You did as you were commanded, a pretty long length was released in front of your eyes, making you salivate just at the mere view, flushed and veiny, definitely pretty.

“What should I…”

Jungkook could only smile at you with that beautiful glint in the eyes, possessiveness.

“Lick me sweet angel, as if I was your favorite sweet”

Once again you obeyed the orders of your alpha, licking a stripe up his pretty cock just to add a little suck to the dripping head, making him release a loud moan, hands instantly grabbing your hair and guiding your head up and down.

“So good baby, such a good girl, little obedient bitch for the one who owns you, suck a little harder baby, not gonna break”

You did it and he let his head fall back, letting you see his neck, his Adam’s apple bob, more veins appearing in his perfect skin but what caught your eye was a single and simple little place, where you knew he had his scent glands, your little heaven in other words, guided just by the thought of it your canines started to grow in size, wanted to mark what was by the law of the moon yours, but snapped back to reality when you heard him hiss in pain, making him met you worry eyes.

“Hey little one, careful there, it hurst a little bad if you use that fierce canines, you will get what you want if I think you deserve that, so work hard”

His eyes were telling you to behave and to keep going so you attached your lips once more to the head of his length licking and sucking what he had to offer for you, taking little breaks to just breathe a little deeper, only for him to grab again your head and stuffed your mouth full, rough and encouraging him to just go deeper, choking you.

“That’s right sweet angel, choke on that cock, hurt a little that throat of yours just for tomorrow to remember that your big bad aloha did it”

He was loosing himself a little too quickly without giving you nothing, so he separated you from his core, watching with love and lustful eyes the way his cock was connected to your lips by a mixture of his precum and your saliva.

“Bring yourself over here precious thing and let me have a taste of you”

Legs guided purely by the desire burning inside your body, not even thinking twice and throwing yourself in the mattress , imagining already the worship of your beloved mate, shyness suddenly hitting you hard and attempting to close your legs and hide your burning core from hungry eyes.

“Come on sweet girl, don’t be so shy when seconds ago you were all over my cock, I will show you exactly how perfect I am for you so you don’t have that stupid ideas again, of giving yourself to another wolf, even knowing that you will always end up in my arms.”

You frown, taken aback by the little sentence at the end.

“How did you…?”

You were a little surprised that he somehow found out that little comment you have made to one of your closest friends, you had made it without thinking, full of anger after you found out who was you alpha.

“You thought that I would never now?, that little comment that made want to rip every throat in my way, especially the one of that little weak alpha you compared me with…He would never have a female like you, only because you are mine, mine and mine alone, remember that we are connected honey, anywhere you go my senses will be right behind you, that’s a little of how much you drive me crazy and you have to always remember that the moon never makes mistakes”

After that sentence he buried his head deep between your legs, licking a long stripe in that delicate and most intimate part of your body making you look up at the ceiling and letting out the most lustful moan in your short life but the fact that you wasn’t looking right at him while he ate you out with all the love and the possessiveness in the world made him mad enough to suck harder and harder on the sensitive bundle of nerves situated right in the center of your core, taking out of you a little groan of pain, not being prepared for his rough teeth and tongue.

“Look at me my sweet angel, why don’t you want to see your alpha praised your body, watch me prepare you to be the mother of my pups, oh yes honey I know you would raise them well, gods above, our pack will see you so pretty with a big baby bump and smelling of me everywhere”

And at this point you wanted everything he wanted, he was yours and you were his, his desires and dreams were also yours, wherever he went you would be right by his side, expecting to fill any need that he might have, as soon as he bruised your skin with that fangs of his, marking you for life, there will be no return.

Tag list: @min-nicoleee, @in-a-way-that-i-should-not, @imluckybitches, @teresaisla.

Next update: ?

All rights reserved.

[bloody-bee-tea]

Glance

Jiang Cheng is this close to punching Wen Chao in the face. The only thing that keeps him from doing so is the fact that his mother will have his hide if he does it, and so he grinds his teeth together and steps yet again out of Wen Chao’s immediate reach.

Wen Chao has put his hands on Jiang Cheng more times than he really cares to count and not even Jiang Cheng’s hissed “I have a goddamn boyfriend” seems to deter him in his advances at all.

He leers at Jiang Cheng and devours him with his gaze when he can’t get his hands on him and Jiang Cheng’s skin crawls with it.

“I bet you’re lying about your boyfriend,” Wen Chao even says at one point and Jiang Cheng has to do his hardest not to snap the fingers that are yet again itching towards his waist.

He is lying about the boyfriend—not that he would ever tell Wen Chao that—but he has kept that rouse up for long enough that it’s mostly believable.

His mother tried to arrange dates for him for a long, horrible while before Jiang Cheng snapped at her that he was already seeing someone and didn’t need her help.

She insisted on meeting the mystery boyfriend, but so far Jiang Cheng was able to dodge any too personal questions about it, citing he still needed more time before he introduced him into the whirlwind of their family.

That, sadly enough, seemed to garner a lot of understanding from all sides.

“I am not,” Jiang Cheng presses out now, and slaps Wen Chao’s hand away before he pushes him away for good measure, too.

Wen Chao has never heard of personal space it seems and with every step that he takes closer to Jiang Cheng he feels more cornered, feels more panic well up in him.

Jiang Cheng let’s his gaze roam the room, desperately trying to find someone who would be willing to help him, but his siblings are nowhere to be found and even Nie Huaisang and Mo Xuanyu are gone from his sight.

He doesn’t even have think about trying to get help from his parents, because they would just tell him to suck it up and not be this dramatic but if he’s being honest, Jiang Cheng is this close to either breaking down or exploding in Wen Chao’s face and he doesn’t know which would be worse.

When his gaze catches the eyes of another person Jiang Cheng doesn’t even take the time to properly recognize him; instead he immediately starts to convey his dilemma through his eyes, hoping that the guy will have enough compassion to come and save him.

Jiang Cheng’s stomach drops when the guy looks away without moving and he’s hurt enough by that blatant dismissal that he allows Wen Chao’s hand to creep up on his waist again.

“See, it’s not so bad,” Wen Chao croons in his ear and Jiang Cheng wonders if throwing up on him would get the point across.

But instead of doing that he simply slaps his hand away yet again, much to Wen Chao’s apparent delight.

“Don’t touch me,” Jiang Cheng snarls at him but Wen Chao only laughs in his face.

“I love the feisty ones,” he tells Jiang Cheng as if he’s imparting some great secret and it makes Jiang Cheng sick to his stomach.

He can see how Wen Chao’s hand is itching to come forward again and Jiang Cheng braces himself for it, when suddenly another hand comes to rest on his waist.

“I’m sorry I’m late, my heart,” a voice says and then a kiss is being pressed onto the top of his head. “Who is this?” the guy asks and Jiang Cheng sags in relieve.

“Nie Mingjue!” Wen Chao says in surprise and Jiang Cheng blinks before he glances at the guy from the corner of his eyes.

It really is Nie Mingjue and now Jiang Cheng finally connects the dots. He was the guy he made eye contact with earlier and it seems like Nie Mingjue did decide to come to his rescue.

“It’s alright,” Jiang Cheng says with a small shake of his head, and then he steps closer to Nie Mingjue.

His hand on Jiang Cheng’s waist is warm and heavy, and he should hate it, with how often Wen Chao just had his hand there, but all Jiang Cheng can think is that Nie Mingjue’s hand feels grounding and like safety and unlike Wen Chao Nie Mingjue doesn’t use it to jerk him around.

It’s just there; a steady, heavy presence, allowing Jiang Cheng to move like he wants.

And he definitely wants to move closer to Nie Mingjue. It only barely has to do with the fact that he wants to move away from Wen Chao, too. Jiang Cheng takes the step that brings him squarely into Nie Mingjue’s personal space, hoping he’s not overstepping, but Nie Mingjue doesn’t stop him at all. Instead he makes space for him readily.

“Nie Mingjue is your boyfriend?” Wen Chao asks in disbelieve and Jiang Cheng’s stomach drops when he realizes just what he pulled Nie Mingjue into.

Jiang Cheng knows Nie Mingjue—of course he does, Nie Huaisang is his best friend—and pretending that they are boyfriends will get really messy really quickly.

“I would say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but that wouldn’t be true,” Nie Mingjue says, with his no-nonsense manner and Jiang Cheng snorts out a laugh.

“You—” Wen Chao starts but Nie Mingjue doesn’t let him speak.

“Maybe you should go hide at your daddy’s side, before I remember the way you practically groped by boyfriend against his will,” Nie Mingjue calmly advises him, but there’s a sharp edge to his voice and Wen Chao has enough survival instinct to blanche.

“How dare you! You will regret this,” Wen Chao tries to tell them, but now it’s Jiang Cheng’s turn to laugh.

“We will see about that,” he says because he doesn’t think Wen Ruohan cares enough about his son’s hurt pride to pick a fight with the Nie’s and the Jiang’s.

Going by how quickly Wen Chao shuts up, he seems to know it as well.

“Get lost now,” Nie Mingjue advises him and Jiang Cheng presses his lips together to not burst out laughing.

He doubts anyone has ever spoken to Wen Chao like this and he thoroughly enjoys how he goes red in the face.

In the end he slinks away without another word though, and Jiang Cheng lets out a sigh of relieve.

“Thank you,” he says to Nie Mingjue when Wen Chao is out of earshot and he feels more than he sees how Nie Mingjue shrugs.

“You seemed desperate,” he gives back and then takes his hand away from Jiang Cheng’s waist.

Jiang Cheng wants it back immediately.

“I hope I didn’t overstep,” Nie Mingjue says with a wince, hiding his hand behind his back but Jiang Cheng is quick to shake his head.

“No, not at all,” he reassures Nie Mingjue and then bites his tongue when his traitorous mouth wants to add “I wish you’d do it again”.

Nie Mingjue doesn’t need to know about that.

“You told him you have a boyfriend?” Nie Mingjue asks then. “Isn’t he here? I hope he won’t be mad.”

Jiang Cheng looks around before he steps closer to Nie Mingjue again and he can’t help the grimace on his face.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” he tells him quietly when he’s close enough that they can’t be overheard. “I said that to stop my mother from setting up dates for me and then it somehow just stuck around. But Wen Chao will tell everyone that you’re my boyfriend now, and I’m sorry about that.”

Jiang Cheng will have to come up with a reason for a break-up and then he’ll have to endure his mother’s dates and it will be hell for a while, but it’s better than dragging Nie Mingjue into this whole mess with him.

“I’m not,” Nie Mingjue says and it takes Jiang Cheng a moment to understand what he’s saying.

“What?” he croaks out because Nie Mingjue cannot possibly mean that.

He knows Jiang Cheng; he knows what kind of mess he is and there is no way in hell that Nie Mingjue wouldn’t mind being associated with him like that.

“I’m just saying that I’m not against giving this a try,” Nie Mingjue says with a shrug and a light blush on his cheeks and Jiang Cheng quickly pinches his own arm to test if this is a dream.

“You do know who I am, right?” Jiang Cheng asks him, because he very vividly remembers the numerous breakdowns he had in the Nie house over the course of the years; the yelling, raging ones but also the ones that left him as a sobbing mess on their couch.

Nie Mingjue cannot possibly want to have that in his life any more than he already has, thanks to Jiang Cheng’s friendship with Nie Huaisang.

“Of course I know who you are,” Nie Mingjue gives back and he sounds honestly affronted. “And I’ve been paying more attention than you seem to think,” he then adds on and Jiang Cheng jerks with his words, before his memory decides to kick in again.

There’s always that very soft blanket on the couch that Jiang Cheng adores so much, and his favourite drink is always in the fridge just as his favourite snacks are always in the cupboard and Jiang Cheng thought it was all Nie Huaisang’s doing but maybe he was wrong about that.

“I—” Jiang Cheng starts but then he simply doesn’t know how to end that sentence so instead he settles on “You’d have to meet my parents.”

“Okay,” Nie Mingjue easily agrees and Jiang Cheng balks at that.

“No one wants to meet my parents.”

“I can’t say that I want to meet them,” Nie Mingjue says with a shrug. “But I want to date you, so of course I’m going to meet them.”

“You want to date me,” Jiang Cheng repeats weakly, even as his heart beats faster in his chest.

He never allowed himself to give too much thought about these stupid feelings inside of him whenever he thinks of Nie Mingjue, but maybe he’s allowed to now.

“Yes,” Nie Mingjue says with a decisive nod. “If that is something you want to as well. Otherwise we’ll fake a break-up of course,” he says as if it’s the easiest thing in the world.

“Of course I want to date you,” Jiang Cheng hisses out and is not at all prepared for the way Nie Mingjue smiles at him.

Jiang Cheng momentarily forgot about the dimples he has, and it hits him like a brick to the chest.

Fuck, Nie Mingjue is gorgeous.

“That’s decided then,” Nie Mingjue says very smugly and Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to deal with that at all.

“Stop that,” he hisses at Nie Mingjue who only smiles at him more.

“Why should I?” he wants to know and Jiang Cheng goes red in the face.

“Because it’s embarrassing,” he tells him, but Nie Mingjue only shrugs.

“I don’t think so, and I don’t care. You’ll just have to deal with that.”

Jiang Cheng opens and closes his mouth a few times—much to Nie Mingjue’s apparent amusement—before he settles his face into a scowl again.

“That thing you called me, when you came to save me,” he finally whispers, going red with just the memory of it.

“My heart?” Nie Mingjue wants to know and Jiang Cheng nods, not finding his voice. “You want me to stop that?” Nie Mingjue asks him and Jiang Cheng can’t believe he’s going to have to say it but Nie Mingjue’s expectant look doesn’t give him another choice.

“I want you to do it again,” Jiang Cheng presses out and at least Nie Mingjue doesn’t laugh at him or mock him otherwise.

“Of course, my heart,” Nie Mingjue readily says and leans in to press another kiss to Jiang Cheng’s head as well, for good measure it seems.

Jiang Cheng feels a little bit like dying and a lot like this could be the best thing in his entire life.

“Now how do you feel about ditching this boring thing with me and going on a real date?” Nie Mingjue asks him, his hand hovering over Jiang Cheng’s waist in clear invitation and for this Jiang Cheng doesn’t hesitate at all.

He has been missing the warmth of that hand, the security of it, ever since Nie Mingjue first took it away and so Jiang Cheng steps close enough for the hand to make contact again.

“I feel good about that,” Jiang Cheng admits and is rewarded for that with another kiss to his head. “Is that going to be a thing?” he wants to know, unwilling to show just how pleased he is by that little action.

“Yes,” Nie Mingjue decides. “You have the perfect height for it and I love doing it.”

He seems entirely shameless about it too, and Jiang Cheng’s entire being goes hot at his words.

“Fine,” he presses out as if it’s the worst thing he ever had to endure but Nie Mingjue seems to understand him just fine because he smiles at him.

“Let’s go on that date then, my heart,” Nie Mingjue says and gently steers Jiang Cheng forward, only using the hand on his waist to do it.

It feels possessive, in a protective kind of way, and Jiang Cheng walks slower than he normally does, just to feel the slight pressure of it.

He’s going to get addicted to this feeling—and the kisses, and the endearment and Nie Mingjue in general—Jiang Cheng just knows it, but he can’t find it in him to mind that.

Jiang Cheng is looking forward to it, really.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 3/?

Word Count: 1.5k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your name, A/N -Any name (your best friend’s name)

Part 3! Date 2 is going to be underway with this one. Enjoy!

I had to change my pfp and my header cause they were being dickheads so just be aware if you liked looking at the batboys when clicking on my profile lmao <3

Warnings: Swearing, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd, Dark humor.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15)  (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Y/N woke up the next day feeling like she could take on the world, energized, with a new crush, and full of life, a stark shift from how she usually was. She was never normally a morning person and had a severe addiction to caffeine. I mean, the addiction was still there and she still needed coffee before she could go to her 3pm class and meet up with Jason again, but she was happy. She would put on her clothes and pack her bag before even getting coffee.

“G’morning, A/N!”

“Who are you and what did you do with my best friend?” A/N joked.

“Down girl, I’m just peppy today, it’ll probably wear down and it’s probably a once-in-a-blue-moon deal,” Y/N said as she started brewing her coffee.

“You got a date with Jason today?”

“I do!”

“That explains it,” A/N joked again.

“Says the one with a boyfriend,” she shot back.

“He’s not my boyfriend, we’re just hooking up right now, trust me, if he was, you’d know, darlin’.”

“So what did dreamboat ask last night?” A/N asked.

“Well I said ‘What do you want to know?’ and he said ‘We’ll talk about it today, maybe during notes or maybe during our lunch date, we’ll see how i’m feeling.’ so I think that’s good?”

“You kidding? You got that man wrapped around your finger, respect.”

“Shut up.”

“No thanks, I have free speech y’know.”

“Yeah you can say whatever, but I can also use my free speech rights to tell you to shove it, so, checkmate,” you sneered at her.

“That’s fair,” A/N paused and then changed the subject, “Have you heard Brutal yet?” she asked.

“You’re damn right I have, I wonder where that was for me at 17. But to be fair, I would still blast it now at my parents just to make them irk.”

“They would kill you for listening to that song instead of their Christian Rock.”

“Worth it, I’ll die swinging and singing.” Y/N mused.

“It really is Brutal out here.”

“Leave, get out, that sucked, blocked, friendship over.”

---------------------------------

She walked up to her 3pm class, to be greeted by Jason at the door, with of course, her new knowledge of the tabloids and their minions, she questioned why he’d do this.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“’Afternoon, Jason.”

“I’m trying to give the tabloids a show, don’t mind me.” he mused.

“I’m not surprised, but class is in 5.”

“Then I guess we should sit down and get ready to write at lightning speeds.”

She went to sit down, followed close by Jason. She couldn’t help but notice everyone was staring, but she didn’t care. This is going to be fun, she thought, I’m glad they’re gonna get a fucking kick out of this, she finished her thought.

Class went on as usual, with her scribbling down the notes so quick her arms hurt by the end of it, and Jason just sitting around making sure she wasn’t losing her arms to the writing, and casually laughing at the Professor. Then, the Professor brought up Barry Allen. Dr. Barry Allen and what he does for the criminal psychology people. 

“Forensics go hand-in-hand with criminal psych, normally we can tell, as scholars, from the hitting of the weapon why and who might’ve done it.” The Professor said.

 She saw Jason tense up a bit, and whispered over to him;

“You know Dr. Barry Allen don’t you?”

“He’s my uncle,” he whispered back.

“Well, be sure to tell him I’ve read some of his essays when I wanted to go into forensics instead of criminal psychology.”

“Really? He has essays?”

“Many. Very good writing. 10/10.”

“You’re going to make his week if you keep talking like this.” he mused.

“Good.” you mocked.

---------------------------

“So, you’re intermixed with a renowned journalist, a legend in forensic testing and you’re the son of Bruce Wayne?” she asked Jason, she couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth, but there they were, all cards on the table.

“Yeah, I know this is all new to you but famous people tend to know other famous people.” he joked with her.

“Well that’s fair, I guess I kind of know Clark, I met him once at a office party with my mum.”

“He’d probably remember you.”

“Enough of your family ties, huh? You said you wanted to know more about me?”

“Yes, that, did you tell your roommate to pick up your car?” he asked her.

“I did, why was I meant to do that, by the way?” she asked him.

“Because, we, you and I, Y/N, are going to go for a joyride on my motorbike and try to get away from these,” he lowered his voice, “bitch ass cameras,” he grabbed her hand and started running towards his bike, dodging all the paparazzi who just wanted the snag shot of the two. They don’t even know my name, and they’re going off about this, she thought.

When the two met his bike, she looked over it fondly. This guy really likes his red, she thought, that’s fair, I do too.

“Nice bike.”

“Thank you, Y/N. We can ride this bad boy out to the country and try to escape the cameras, which kind of cuts into the lunch date, but hey-”

“That’s just the life someone famous has to live?” she questioned.

“You’re catching on.”

“I could have been a detective if I wanted it.”

He laughed and sat down on his bike and like instinct, she sat behind him and wrapped her hands on his chest and leant in. She didn’t know how to passenger a motorbike, but he didn’t say she did it wrong.

“You ready?”

“Jason, are you going to kill me?”

“Well if the shoe fits.” he mused.

“I’m ready.”

And off they went.

There was something about the way the bike drove through the streets of Gotham that she loved so much, she had already fallen in love with the restless city and called it home long before right now, but this was exhilarating for her. Somehow driving at 120mph was amazing, it brought out this feeling of freedom, something she hadn’t ever felt back home in Metropolis.

It’s worth it, she thought, it’s forever going to be worth it.

-------------------------------------

Pulling her off of his bike, the two of them laid underneath the tree on the small hill Jason pulled over by.

“Do you think we escaped the pap?” she asked him.

“Probably not.”

“Festive.”

“So, Y/N, it’s your turn to open up about your family. Besides your mum, I already know about your mum.”

“So, my twin sister goes to our rival school, the Metropolis one, I think she’s more of a people person than I’ll ever be. My parents are still together, they got married after they had my sister and I, so I’m a bastard,” she laughed, “I always like telling people I’m by definition a bastard, a lot of them get mad all like, ‘don’t call yourself that you’re a lovely girl’ and it’s just funny to me,”

He laughed, “You call yourself a bastard out of spite?”

“Am I supposed to not? I think it’s funny-”

“It’s pretty funny. I live out of spite too,” he said, almost like he was pulling out a bad memory, but she egged him on slightly,

“Spite who?” she asked.

“Spite God.”

She let out a laugh, and he seemed to let go of whatever memory he had clung onto to watch her laugh. It was clearly a distracting laugh.

“God tried to strike you and you just went ‘Nah mate, go away’? Respectable. I would do that.” she said while laughing.

“That’s exactly what happened, Y/N-” and his phone pinged, he turned it over, it was Dick.

“Mind sharing who that is?”

“I don’t mind, it’s my older brother sending me an article of us today. We really gave them a show holding hands,” he began reading, “ ‘Millionaire’s Son, Jason Todd, Caught Holding Hands with the Mystery Girl.’ “

“One day they will know my name. And it will be a massive article. Like a gender reveal.”

“Like a gender reveal?!” he said back to her, laughing so hard his smile reached ends she didn’t expect it to be able to go.

“It wasn’t that funny of a joke, Jason,” she said.

“It’s a better joke than my brothers and sister could ever come up with, Y/N, and they’ve had Galas to practice for,” he retorted.

“I’ll set it ablaze like the California gender reveal,” she continued with the joke, expecting this to be too far, but this also showed her that Jason liked dark humor, and she did too.

He burst out laughing at this, and she smiled.

“You have perfect teeth, Jason.”

“Is that what you’re focused on?” he asked.

“They are the forefront when you smile, it is hard not to.”

“Romantic,” he mocked her.

“I can be more romantic next date, if you want it,” she said, inclined towards him saying I want it. She was right.

“I want it.”

[xnchxntmxnt]

Welcome to the party!

I hope you're ready for a fun time! I'm very happy everyone could make it and you all look great. More on the party later, I have a few words to say first.

I started this blog a year ago today after having barely any idea what the hell I was doing. All I knew is my wonderful friend Poe got me into a new anime and I'd absolutely fallen in love with it. I'd had a love of writing since I was ten, and I thought it was time to put that talent to use.

Words cannot describe how happy I am to still be active. I may not be as active as I once was, and I cannot update once a week like I used to, but I still appreciate all the support I get nonetheless.

Since then I've made so many friends, met so many people, got into new things and done things I never thought I would. I could talk for hours about all the friends I have because I love them all, but I'll try to keep these short so we can get to the more fun part...

@emswordss you were my first mutual and we still talk almost every day and that makes me so, so happy. you're so incredible and i'm happy i could be part of the journey you're on and help you with the crazy shit that is teenage years.

@domestic-void/@nekomas-kuroo my second mutual ever! i am so glad you let me write that lev fic its still the longest fic i've ever written for this (besides that one selfship thing but we aren't counting that)

@shoyotime/@miyamours my first wife <33 we havent talked in a while but i remember how much we did especially when i was first starting out. thanks for all the confidence boosts and all the weird conversations <3

@shirari we havent talked in so long !!! how are you? i don't know if you're really active anymore but i feel badcwe kinds lost touch

@ellesmain/@ellewords I MISS YOUUU ik finals suck i do but i miss seeing you on my dash!!! need my big sister once in a while yk <3 i hope finals are going well and that you're doing ok too! mayeb by the time you're back I'll have another taylor swift cover for you

@maizumis i havent seen you online in forever either !! we gotta talk soon!

@possiblypoe THE OG!!! this brilliant person got me into haikyuu it's her fault you all have to deal with me. poe you are so so so so so incredible and i KNOW how long you've been waiting for your matchup so go read and text me/send and ask and tell me your thoughts!!! love you (/p)

@mysterystarz/@nekonovs wife #2!!! thanks for being the crackhead in my discord dms over the summer /j. no but actually i know we dont talk as much as we did over the summer, mostly because we're both busy, but youre so amazing really. thank you for all the late night conversations and the akaashi brainrot

@k-kazvha i think you were my first genshin moot?? also happy late birthday!!! have fun dancing the night away with diluc. i said some of this yesterday on your birthday but i am SO glad we met you're so funny and honestly great to talk to. i ma not always comment on it but your posts make me laugh a lot (usually the shitposts). you're an incredibly talented writer thank you for being amazing

@rqkuya you literally know all my ocs in and out and you're so so so incredible to talk to about them. you always ahve the funniest one-liners and little ideas to add, and no matter how much you yell at me for throwing angst at them, you love me for it anyway. thank you so so much for making me feel like i always have someone to talk to about anything (usually characters, but even serious things) tor.

@merciemer DAD !! high key you're very like an older brother for me and i talk about you deadass all the time. you give me gender envy a LOT (but in a great way) and youre so pretty in like the most gnc way possible. you're absolutely hilarious and i feel my own parent friend instincts kick in once in a while when we talk but its because i care i swear <3

@animated-moon my fellow tendou simp. we really need to sit down and watch howl's moving castle one of these days. i'm still proud of that tendou fic for you i wrote not too long ago (or maybe it was, i have no perception of time) but it was really fun to write and you're just. so much fun to talk to we really need to talk more bc youre a riot in the best way ever

@kage7ama ANGEL THAT INTRODUCED ME TO THAT SONG— ok i still scream sing that and in the back of my head im thankng you for showing it to me i LOVE it thank you. i was so worried when you deactivated but its ok bc i got the new url <33

@kodzukoi ANOTHER ONE WHO HEARS ABOUT MY OCS i am so glad you're as into sk8 as i am (or almost, idk) and know that langa is giving u a forehead kiss rn. as am i (/p). but you're so easy to talk to and constantly reminding me that im not talking too much which i appreciate also you give the best compliments. jun kinnie (affectionate)

@rudolphsboyfriend AAAAA I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO READ UR MATCHUP URS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. but youre so talented like what the hell??? talented voice, talented writer, my irls hear about you all the time jfc i need to shut up about you sometimes. but yeah i just think you're super awesome man

@sunalma i missed you on my dash !!! im glad youre back though even if it's not as much. fun fact: i was SO SCARED to talk to you for so long but the more time went on the more time i got over myself and tried not to hit the send button on inbox asks and throw my phone to the other end of my bed

@miyagem LAST BUT NOT LEAST i think youre my newest mutual??? we talk a decent amount though so i already call u my friend <33 i definitely need to bother you more tho its fun youre great to talk to

that should be everyone its everyone in my notes w an emoji at least. if i forgot you i swear i didn't mean to !!!!

and an extra extra shoutout to all my anons + anyone who just likes to interact, even if through reblogs! ur messages/tags/anything else mean the world to me !! your support is mostly why i keep doing this and i wouldn't have hit 1 year if not for you.

nOW THAT THE SAPPY STUFF IS OVER BACK TO ME WRITING PROFESSIONALLY

quick preface: when in doubt assume everyone is 22. i don't care how that affects the plot of the original story your character is from, everyone is 22 so we can all drink champagne (if you choose). carry on

The night opens in a giant, golden, open ballroom, perfectly set white tables taking up a decent amount of room. Other tables line the walls, all covered in food (all with various coverings on it so it doesn't get too cold). Come in, take a seat wherever you like. Dinner starts soon.

The room is quiet, save the chatter of people finding seats. Three people stand in the center of the room with various kinds of musical nstruments—L, in the center, (@rudolphsboyfriend my beloved) Blue to their side and Semi Eita on their other. All three are smiling, however L is the most, seeing everyone make their entrances.

Once everyone is seated, he explains: one of his biggest passions is music and he has two incredibly talented friends that agreed to play with him for the first part of the night, then dinner, then the rest of the party as everyone pleases.

They make a speech about how appreciative they are for everyone (see above for that) and the three of them play their set. Music kicks on, they announce dinner is open, and the rest of the night is yours for the choosing.

Do enjoy and tell me how spend your time!

Event Content!

playlist for the night

✧ drabbles ✧

@merciemer - dancing with matsukawa issei @kage7ama - people watching with diluc ragnvindr @animated-moon - eating dessert with tendou satori @rqkuya - xiao (yours didn't get a name but i swear its for good reason) @terushimatwinn - balcony conversations with miya atsumu @kodzukoi - car conversations with langa hasegawa

✧ matchups ✧

for @emswordss ✧✧✧ for @keijinn ✧✧✧ for anon ✧✧✧ for @duckymcdoorknob ✧✧✧ for @possiblypoe ✧✧✧ for @rudolphsboyfriend ✧✧✧ for 🌱 anon ✧✧✧

✧ other additions ✧

my evening with kaoru sakurayashiki

If you didn't get a chance to participate and want to (or you did, and want to add onto what I came up with), please do! Send it in as a submission or inbox message, or just tag me in a post you make! I'd love to add it to the main post!

Only rule about this is you cannot double characters. There are a few taken already, but if you would like to participate, please choose someone else that hasn't been listed in one of the drabbles/matchups to save everyone the confusion.

Thank you all so much again. I could not have done this all without you and I appreciate everyone that follows and interacts with me more than you all know. I hope to do something like this next year around this time if life permits. Other than that, get a drink, some dancing in, talk to new people—the night is yours! Enjoy the party.

[maybeimamuppet]

you happened

hey darlings!! happy wednesday!!!

let’s get right into it shall we?

tw for

discussion of canon events in mg (outing, etc)

discussion of canon events in the prom (homophobia, etc.)

this was requested by @spidy-nugget like forever ago so thank you for your patience and i hope you enjoy!

—

“Oh!” Cady says, interrupting herself in the middle of a sentence. “I just remembered! My cousin is coming to visit next week, do you guys want to meet her?”

“Emma?” Damian asks excitedly. Cady nods. “Yes! Is she bringing the-her… Broadway friends?”

“I dunno, she didn’t tell me,” Cady giggles. “But probably, she said they usually visit her at some point every summer.”

“I should probably be there to stop him from combusting if they do come,” Janis huffs. “But also, yes, I want to meet her too.”

“She’s an absolute icon,” Damian says happily. “God, her song. Still makes me cry.”

“You cried watching Finding Dory yesterday,” Janis retaliates.

“It’s a sad movie! Sometimes!” Damian defends. “Anyway, tell me all about Emma.”

“Okay,” Cady giggles again. “She’s a year older than us, and she’s my cousin on my mom’s side. Um… you know her whole… prom fiasco. I’ve only met her in person once when I was ten, for Rhys’ funeral. But we were pen pals when we were really little. And now we just text and stuff.”

“Cute,” Damian says. “And is her girlfriend coming?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Cady says around a mouthful of Janis’ milkshake. “Her name is Alyssa, she’s, like, super smart. Did every possible activity in high school, that kind of thing. But she’s been with Emma when we’ve Facetimed and stuff before and she’s super sweet.”

“Aww,” Damian coos. “I can’t wait!”

————-

Luckily for him, Damian doesn’t have to wait too long. Emma and Alyssa arrive the following week in Emma’s pickup. Damian has been pressed against the window all day, like a small child watching for the ice cream truck. He gasps dramatically when four people in matching sequined tracksuits also hop out of the backseat, grumbling about being cramped together for such a long trip.

Cady opens the door to let everyone in, and is quickly swamped by a crowd of people much taller than her. Janis pops up on her tippy toes to try and find her girlfriend to save her, but doesn’t succeed.

Everyone heads into the living room, and Janis laughs when she finds Cady being carried in like a sack of potatoes by one of the men that came with Emma.

“Emma, why didn’t you tell me your cousin was so adorable?” He demands. “Look at this, she’s so small.”

“Please put me down,” Cady squeaks. Janis heads over and reaches for her.

“Can I have my girlfriend back, please?”

“And she’s gay!” The man says happily, passing Cady over like she’s a small dog. Janis holds her close and smoothes her hair back to where it was.

“Bi, actually,” Cady grumbles.

“Well, aren’t you something. Oh, my name is Barry, by the way. As if you haven’t heard of me.”

“Barry, we talked about this,” Emma chides. “They haven’t. Except Damian.”

“And where is this Damian? I want to meet him,” one of the ladies says. “Oh, and my name is Dee Dee.”

Damian enters shyly and gives a little wave. Janis cackles, “Dude, you’re totally starstruck, look at you!”

“Uh-hi,” he stutters. “I’m Damian.”

“Aww!” The other lady says. “Look at your little cheeks, what a sweetheart! I’m Angie.”

Damian blushes violently as he’s cooed over by Angie. Barry hauls her off to get a good look at him.

“I like this,” he says. “It’s like a mini me.”

“Just don’t break him,” Emma pleads. “Damian, can I trust you to babysit for a while?”

That prompts a, ‘Hey!’ from all four adults, and an eager nod from Damian. “I can show them around town.”

“This is not a town, darling,” Dee Dee says gently. “But what is there to see?”

“We have… uh-“

“There’s an IHOP!” Cady chirps. “And the mall. That’s kind of it until you get to Chicago. Or the lake.”

“This is the most precious soul,” Barry says happily.

“Dame, we did it. I never thought I’d see the day we found someone gayer than you,” Janis laughs.

“Oh, I like this one too,” Barry says. “Funky little lesbian. She dresses like Emma but goth.”

“I do love the hair,” Emma agrees. “I’m dressed more like Cady today though.”

They both look down at their almost-matching flannels and jean shorts, then back at each other with a nod.

“Same boots though,” Janis cheers, lifting a foot. Emma laughs and nudges it with one of her own doc martens. “Nice.”

“Precious,” Angie says. “Okay, we’ll leave you gals alone now. Damian, show us the sights.”

“It would be my pleasure,” Damian says, leading the adults to the door.

“Yes, show us to the… hopping eyes,” Dee Dee says, sounding both bored and intrigued at the same time. Damian waves goodbye to Janis excitedly and closes the door after him.

“Well,” Emma chuckles. “Oh, I hope he’ll be okay.”

“I think he’ll be fine,” Alyssa soothes. “He’s in good company, and he’s a theatre kid, he gets their… vibes.”

“Theatre kid is an understatement for that boy,” Janis tuts affectionately.

“True,” Cady giggles. “Anyway, we can hang out in my room, if you want?”

Emma and Alyssa nod, so Cady leads everyone up to her bedroom. Janis flops onto the bed and Cady crawls in behind her, lifting her head onto her lap. Alyssa and Emma look around curiously for a second before joining them.

“Who did these?” Alyssa asks, pointing to the paintings and collages adorning the walls. “They’re incredible, especially this one. It looks just like you guys!”

Janis flushes as she points to the one she won her art contest with, of she and Damian and Cady all together. “I did.”

“Dang,” Emma breathes. “You have some serious talent, Janis.”

“Thanks,” Janis squeaks.

“No, seriously! Do you have stuff here?” Emma insists.

“A few things, yeah,” Janis says confusedly, raising an eyebrow. “Why?”

Emma lifts her guitar case onto the bed and flicks the latches open, pulling out her famous instrument. It’s covered in stickers and little doodles, much like Janis’ jackets.

“Will you do something on this for me?”

Janis’ eyes go wide. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course!” Emma chuckles. “There’s room down here if you want it visible, or on the back.”

Janis carefully takes the instrument and assesses the material, trying to put an idea together in her mind. She runs to Cady’s desk when one comes to her, where she keeps a supply of basic colors and brushes in case of emergency. Cady doesn’t mind keeping them, they remind her of her girlfriend.

Cady grins affectionately as Emma and Alyssa cuddle in together. “How did you two meet?”

Her cousin turns to smile at her girlfriend. “I kind of always knew of her from school and stuff, but we didn’t really get close until sophomore year.”

Alyssa nods in agreement. “My mom wanted me to be more creative and have another skill or whatever, so she signed me up for guitar classes. Just so happens she was my teacher.”

“You really sucked,” Emma teases. Alyssa scoffs, aghast, and shoves her so hard she nearly falls off the bed. “Ack! Hey, I was kidding!”

“I know,” Alyssa giggles. “I did suck, I’ve never been much good at artsy stuff.”

“I was never good at art either,” Cady chuckles at their antics. “Jay’s tried to teach me to paint a couple times and it hasn’t gone too well.”

She peeks around the other couple to where her own girlfriend is sitting cross-legged on the ground, tongue poked out to the side as she carefully brushes a stroke of paint onto Emma’s guitar. Janis looks up when she feels her gaze, and grins happily when she sees Cady.

“You have the right instincts, I keep telling you,” she says. “You just get cranky too fast and then start attacking me with it.”

Everyone else bursts out laughing. Emma says, “I don’t blame her, I hated art class. What were we talking about?”

“How we met, dummy,” Alyssa huffs, kissing behind Emma’s ear.

“Oh yeah! So, we started off with actual lessons, but then we started getting to know each other more,” Emma explains. “And then I came out and got kicked out, which… a lot of people heard about, so Lyss figured I was a safe person to tell that she was questioning.”

Cady nods, listening intently to the story.

“I came out to her that summer,” Alyssa says. “And she said she’d had a crush on me all along, and asked me out. So we went on a walk and then got coffee and the rest is history.”

“We forgot to mention the serious gay panic I had during our first lesson,” Emma chuckles. “But that’s the gist of it.”

“How cute,” Cady coos.

“What about you two, how long have you been together?” Alyssa asks kindly, flicking Emma’s ear gently as she aggressively plops down onto her lap.

“Four months,” Janis pipes up immediately.

“Man, you crushed on her for that long without saying anything, Cades?” Emma says, impressed. Janis pops her head up and listens in.

“Oh?”

“She never shut up about you for, like, almost a year,” Emma laughs. Cady flushes scarlet and looks down at her lap with a flustered squeak. “I’m assuming it was you, she never gave a name. But it was always a tall, hot artist with cool hair and nice muscles. And I think she mentioned your butt a few times, she thinks that’s cute.”

Janis cackles as Cady flops facedown onto her bed and groans into a pillow. “How cute, I didn’t know that. But I shouldn’t laugh, I definitely wasn’t any better.”

“How did you get together?” Alyssa asks, patting Cady’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Janis snorts from the ground and Cady gives another groan into her pillow. “What?”

“You tell them,” Cady grumbles, poking her face out just long enough that it’s not muffled.

“Baby, it’s cute,” Janis coos.

“No it’s not!”

“Okay, fine, I’ll tell it in a way that makes me look just as dorky,” Janis compromises. “Caddy came to my school in September from Kenya, and she had these adorable little cargo shorts and socks with sandals on, and-“

“Hold on, what?” Alyssa insists. “Kenya?”

“Cady grew up there, her parents are zoologists,” Emma explains.

“How many conversations have we had with her? And you never thought to tell me she’s from Africa?”

“It never came up! We both had a lot going on the first year and then we just didn’t bring it up,” Emma defends. “And now you know.”

“Sorry,” Alyssa says. “Keep going.”

“It’s all good,” Janis chuckles. “Anyway, I fell for her so bad the first day that I dragged Damian into the bathroom at lunch and made him let her join our group.”

Cady pops her head up and looks to her girlfriend. “You did?”

“Yeah, duh,” Janis says. “We’re not known for socializing with the new kids, I just thought you were cute.”

Cady blushes again, but doesn’t return to her pillow. “Keep going.”

Janis chuckles and continues telling the story as she finishes her small painting on Emma’s guitar. “So we became friends that day, and then had… an ordeal, through the rest of junior year and didn’t really reconnect until spring.”

Cady’s told Emma and Alyssa the whole story, so they both nod at Janis’ quick explanation.

“We got really close over the summer, and apparently we were both crushing on each other. But we didn’t notice, somehow. And then I sorta snapped on her birthday this year and decided to fess up, so I made that,” Janis points to the black and white collage hanging next to one of her paintings on the wall. “But before I could give it to her, this little firecracker got wasted and started crying in my lap about how much she loved me.”

“I wasn’t that drunk!” Cady huffs.

“I found you lying on the ground singing yourself to sleep,” Janis giggles. “And you didn’t recognize me, clearly. Just climbed into my lap and spilled your guts. I was lucky it wasn’t literal.”

“Janis Sarkisian,” Cady grumbles. “Behave.”

“Fine, fine,” Janis chuckles. “Anyway, once she sobered up a little bit we had a chat and realized we both had feelings for each other, so we started dating. And now we’re here.”

“That did not make you sound anywhere near as dorky as me,” Cady huffs. “But yeah, that’s… that’s it.”

Emma snorts once the story is done. “That does sound like Cady. But if that’s what it took, then I guess it was worth it.”

Cady turns to look at Janis again. “It was. But you guys went through a lot more than us, that must have been tough on both of you.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Emma chuckles, trying to sneak a peek at Janis’ work. The angle isn’t quite right, so she gives up before she falls off her girlfriend. “You guys went through a lot. But yeah, it was really tough. I’m so lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Alyssa murmurs back. “You guys know the story?”

“I do,” Cady says. “I think Jay and Damian just know the bare bones. It’s your story to tell, I didn’t want to give too many details away.”

Alyssa gives her a grateful smile, and Cady grins back. “Do you want to hear it?”

“Of course,” Janis pipes up. “I finished, by the way. Um, here.”

“Hey, you stole my idea!” Cady jokingly whines when she sees what Janis has done.

“But it’s so perfect!” Janis defends. Emma takes her guitar to see, and smiles at the new lion with a rainbow mane in the spot they’d picked. “And it’s kind of for both of us.”

“This is awesome,” Emma says. “Oh! I get it, it’s a pride thing! Pride of lions, and then… oh. Clever!”

“It was actually Caddy’s idea, she made me a rock with it at pride last week,” Janis says. “I thought it fit.”

“It does, you’re really talented!” Alyssa says, leaning over her girlfriend’s shoulder to see it. Janis’ text tone goes off, so she pulls her phone out of the pocket of her shorts to check it. Cady peeks over to see what it is too as Janis bursts out laughing. It’s a picture of Damian surrounded by his new friends, now in a matching tracksuit all of his own.

jamian: Sent a picture: JAN LOOKIT

danis: nice outfit

jamian: Thank u it really suits me doesnt it

danis: honestly

danis: yeah kinda

jamian: Sent a picture: Thank u

jamian: Anyway we’re going to ihop next yall should meet us there

danis: kk love u

jamian: Love u too

“I think your little crew adopted Damian,” Janis chuckles at Emma and Alyssa, showing them the photo of a very excited Damian.

“Aww,” Emma chuckles. “I’m glad they didn’t kill him, they can be a lot to handle.”

“He seems fine,” Janis shrugs. “Whose truck are we taking?”

“Oh, is that one in the driveway yours?” Emma says excitedly. Janis nods. “It’s nice!”

“We’ve been in Em’s all day,” Alyssa chuckles. “Probably best to take yours.”

“I call shotgun!” Cady yells, already tugging on her shoes and running downstairs.

“As if I’d let anyone else,” Janis mumbles affectionately under her breath.

————-

The waitstaff at IHOP look more than a little frightened at the size of their group, and especially at the crew in tracksuits.

“Ey, yo!” One of them calls. “Guys, come here! It’s that guy from the thing! That show!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Trent grumbles under his breath. “Why is it always that? I played Hamlet!”

They’re quickly escorted to a large table near the back, and Trent signs a few menus as a little gift to the now very excited waiters.

“Was Juilliard worth it?” He mutters to himself. Angie, who’s sat next to him, nudges him with an elbow to shut him up.

Janis and Emma both order for their girlfriends, and also order themselves the same meal of chicken and waffles. Dee Dee gets french toast, Angie gets an omelet, Trent gets some crepes, and Barry gets the most horrifically sweet looking pancakes anyone’s ever seen. Apparently they’re cupcake flavored.

Alyssa looks very content with her large Belgian waffle, and Cady seems delighted with her chocolate chip pancakes decorated with whipped cream to look like a face. It’s definitely from the children’s menu, but nobody says anything.

“So tell us about you guys,” Dee Dee says once their food gets delivered. She looks eagerly to her friends, as if to say, ‘Look how nice I can be when I want to.’ Barry claps quietly for her.

“What do you want to know?” Damian asks. Dee Dee puts her head in her hands, clearly not knowing how to continue. Trent takes over for her.

“How do you guys know each other?”

“Oh!” Damian says excitedly. “Janis and I have been friends, like, forever. We met in tap dance class when we were three.”

“And you knocked my fucking teeth out in that class when we were five,” Janis grumbles.

“By accident!” Damian defends amidst the giggles of their whole group. “I got really into it. Anyway, so we’ve been friends forever. And then little Caddy happened along in junior year, and we kind of kidnapped her for a while.”

“No, I needed to be kidnapped,” Cady laughs. “I was a total wreck. They actually sort of rescued me from the school bathroom at lunch.”

“You were eating in the bathroom?” Barry asks, sounding both empathetic and disgusted. “Oh, you poor sweet thing.”

“I was the new kid, y’know?” Cady shrugs. “Nobody wanted to eat with the dork from Africa.”

Angie chokes on a bite of her food, and Trent thumps her on the back. “From what now?”

“I’m from Kenya,” Cady giggles. “Well, technically I was born in Oregon. But I lived in Kenya for thirteen years.”

“Just, like, in the wilderness?” Barry asks in shock. “With the lions and tigers and… bears and stuff?”

Cady laughs out loud. “Pretty much. But there’s no tigers or bears.”

“But there were lions?” Trent insists.

“Oh, yeah,” Cady says like it’s entirely normal. “That’s mostly what we were studying. They were kind of my only friends.”

“And they never showed any interest in… consuming you?” Dee Dee asks worriedly. Cady laughs again.

“Lions are just big cats, you know, guys? As long as you’re careful and respect their boundaries they won’t hurt you,” she chuckles. “I got swiped at a few times when I was little, but I never needed more than fifteen stitches.”

“Fifteen?” Angie yelps.

“That is kind of a lot, Cades,” Emma chuckles. “I never had to get more than three as a kid.”

“Oh. Well, I was kind of asking for it, I was playing too rough,” Cady hums.

“With a lion,” Alyssa insists. “Do you have pictures?” Cady nods and passes over her phone for them to scroll through her camera roll.

“Anyway, please keep going,” Angie says, leaning across the table to try to see.

“That’s basically it,” Janis shrugs. “Until you get into the whole mess that happened junior year.”

Cady and Damian nod in agreement. The adults all look very excited at the prospect of some new drama. “Do tell.”

The art freaks all look to one another warily, wondering who should begin. Cady decides to after a second of back and forth.

“Well, um… I sat with these two on my first day,” she begins. “But then just before lunch ended I met these three girls. We called them the Plastics.”

“Why?” Angie asks curiously. Damian shows them all a photo. “Oh. I already don’t like this one.” Janis snorts quietly as she points to Regina.

“Anyway, they said I should sit with them, and Janis and Damian wanted me to so I could spy on them,” Cady says sheepishly. “They have some… personal history.”

“Oh?” Trent asks. Cady looks to Janis, this bit is her story to tell.

“Regina, the one in the middle, outed me in eighth grade,” Janis says. “Carved slurs into my locker, that kinda thing.”

“Oh, honey,” Barry says sadly. “That bitch.”

Janis chuckles weakly. “Yeah. The other two just kind of went along with it. They were just generally bitchy to everyone. But I didn’t have many friends because of her, and I went through a lot of counseling and stuff because of it. Spent some time in the hospital for… reasons, but that’s not… something we need to discuss right now.”

Everyone nods, respecting her privacy. Cady continues telling the story. “So, I pretended to join them and would kind of report back to Janis and Damian. I learned that they had this book, called the Burn Book, where they would write mean things about people from the yearbook and stuff. And at the same time I was crushing for a long time on this boy named Aaron, but he was Regina’s ex. She had dumped him earlier for another guy. And she was actually cheating on him with the other one.”

“Oh, can I tell this bit?” Janis asks. Cady nods and gestures for her to keep going. “So, around Halloween, Cady went to Aaron’s party, and I don’t know exactly what happened, but he basically got back together with Regina.”

“What kind of idiot-“ Trent begins, getting cut off by a stomp on the foot from Dee Dee.

“So poor Caddy came to my house,” Janis says, trying to keep down giggles at the memory. “Fucking slams my basement door open, but Dame and I were watching horror movies. Caddy was dressed as some corpse bride with a knife in her back and everything, and Damian screamed so loud, like, higher than I’ve ever heard. But she was crying, so we helped her and then came up with a revenge plot.”

Dee Dee suddenly looks very interested, leaning forwards slightly and resting her head on her folded hands.

“Caddy had these snack bars from Kenya, they’re… Swedish, I think?” Damian says. Cady nods. “They make you gain weight, like, really quickly. Regina was kind of obsessed with her weight and image and stuff, so we got Caddy to tell her they were actually a diet bar to help lose weight.”

“No,” Angie gasps. Everyone laughs at her reaction.

“Yeah,” Cady laughs. “I don’t think anything major happened until around Christmas. The Plastics did this dance every year at the winter talent show, and we had to wear these skimpy little Santa outfits. But Regina had already gained a fair bit of weight, so her skirt didn’t fit…”

“It fell off in the middle of the routine in front of everyone,” Janis cackles. Emma and Alyssa both look slightly scared of her. “Sorry. Personal vindication. But yeah, that was kind of the beginning of the end for her. Cady kind of… got lost in it, by that point. It was hard to tell if she was pretending or not.”

Cady looks down at her lap in shame, so Janis takes her hand under the table and kisses the side of her head a few times to comfort her. Damian keeps going with the story.

“So, Caddy basically overthrew Regina as Queen Bee of the school. She threw a little party and didn’t invite us or Regina, so she kind of was attacking both fronts. We got pretty mad and stopped associating with her, and Regina was obviously furious,” he says. “And so as revenge for that, Regina photocopied the Burn Book and spread all the pages around the school. I saw, like, seven fights before first period even started that day.”

“But didn’t they know that she had written it?” Trent asks.

“That’s the thing, she put herself in it,” Janis adds, now holding Cady on her lap. “So nobody suspected her. She went to the principal and blamed Gretchen and Karen, they’re the other two, and Cady.”

“I don’t like this story,” Barry whines. “Tell me something good happens.”

“Oh, just wait,” Janis chuckles darkly. “There was an assembly called that day, and they tried to make us apologize to each other and do trust exercises or something like that. I kind of went rogue and only apologized to myself and rallied the rest of the girls in our grade.”

“Go Janis,” Angie says, sounding impressed. “Stick it to the man.”

“Thanks,” Janis laughs. “But it only lasted a few minutes.”

“Damn it,” Barry groans. “What happened?”

“Regina got hit by a bus,” Cady says. Angie spits her mouthful of lemonade over Trent.

“She what?”

“Yeah,” Cady laughs. “So, that time kind of sucked for both of us. She was in the hospital recovering, and everyone was saying that I pushed her in front of it or that she jumped in front of it on purpose because of me.”

“She didn’t die?” Dee Dee clarifies. Everyone is more than a little concerned at the disappointment in her voice.

“No,” Cady chuckles. “Well, she died for, like, fifteen seconds, but she was resuscitated and she’s fine now.”

“And did you push her?” Barry asks. “We’re all friends here, you can tell us.”

“No!” Cady huffs. “I may have been a raging bitch, but I’m not an attempted murderer.”

“You didn’t feed anyone to a lion back in Kenya?” Janis teases gently.

“I’ll do it to you if you’re not careful,” Cady retaliates with a laugh. “Where did we leave off?”

“Regina got hit by a bus and you didn’t push her,” Trent says helpfully, still dabbing some lemonade out of his sweater with a wad of napkins.

“Oh,” Damian says. “Okay, so, I don’t… totally remember what happened in between that and Spring Fling, but it’s really not important.”

“I was suspended for the Book, that’s kind of it,” Cady says, gesturing for him to continue.

“Oh, yeah! Anyway, Spring Fling at our school is basically prom but for underclassmen, prom is just for the seniors. Jan and I were each other’s dates, she decorated our outfits and stuff, we looked killer if I do say so myself.”

Janis rolls her eyes lovingly and whacks him with an elbow.

“And Caddy was banned, so she wasn’t supposed to be there, but she showed up towards the end with the Mathletes,” Damian continues. “And she had been nominated for queen, and she won. So she went up on stage and gave the most beautiful speech I’ve ever heard and broke her crown, and we all got a piece. So now we’re all friends and life is good.”

“Nice ending, Dame,” Janis laughs. “Hasty conclusions. But that it is basically how it happened.”

Everyone blinks at them. Trent says, “That was like being in a war zone. Just one bombshell after another.”

“It kinda was, our math teacher got stabbed in the leg at one point,” Cady hums. “Anyway, what’s your guys’ story? If you want to share.”

“Oh, yeah, I’d like to know more,” Damian says. “Jan and I really only know the bare bones. What was in the news, and stuff.”

“You guys can start,” Emma says, pulling a face as Alyssa gently dabs some syrup off her lip. Alyssa giggles when Emma tries to bite her hand and kisses Emma’s cheek.

“Ooh, okay!” Barry says eagerly. “We were in a show. Well, Dee Dee and I. We were in a delightful little show called Eleanor.”

“As in…” Janis says confusedly.

“Eleanor Roosevelt,” Dee Dee explains. She seems surprised when the kids all nod in understanding. “You’ve heard of her?”

“Yeah?” Cady says, tilting her head. “She’s one of the most famous first ladies of all time, we learned about her in our history class.”

“Not nearly enough,” Janis grumbles. “Gotta make time for the men.”

“Amen sister,” Angie huffs.

“Really…” Dee Dee hums interestedly. “Anyway, it was… not a success. Poor advance sales, and then…”

“We bombed opening night,” Barry grumbles. “Apparently. But it wasn’t the show, it was… it was us. The media panned us as aging narcissists and we had to close.”

“On opening night?” Damian gasps in horror. Dee Dee and Barry both nod sadly.

“Regretfully, yes. So, we had to try to change the narrative,” Dee Dee says. “We decided to find a good cause and do something. So we were going to build houses for Habitat for Humanity.”

“But Barry has a bad back,” Trent pipes up. “So then we thought about, like, recycling or fixing poverty or world hunger.”

“But that was all too much for us to handle,” Angie says. “So I went on Twitter and found-”

“Me!” Emma says. “Apparently that all happened on the same night as the first assembly where the PTA cancelled prom in the first place. I guess we were trending.”

“And they only cancelled it because you two wanted to go together?” Janis asks sadly.

“Yep. Well, nobody knew about Alyssa, but they cancelled it because they knew I wanted to bring my girlfriend,” Emma explains.

“Those bitches,” Janis grumbles. “Sorry.”

“Believe me, we get it,” Emma laughs. “But my bit of the story isn’t quite here yet.”

“Oh, yes!” Dee Dee realizes. “So, we decided to help Emma, but we were completely out of funds and had no way to get all the way to Indiana from New York.”

“But I had just booked a non-equity tour of Godspell,” Trent half-brags. The other half seems rather depressed at that statement. “So we came on the tour bus.”

“Can I start our part?” Alyssa asks. Emma nods and squeezes her hand under the table. “So, they obviously gave no indication that they were coming. Emma and Principal Hawkins had gone to the State’s Attorney by that point and put some legal pressure on the PTA, so we had another assembly to discuss options.”

“We?” Damian asks.

“Oh, my mom was the head of the PTA,” Alyssa says casually. Damian chokes on his drink and Janis nearly drops Cady on the ground.

“Your mom cancelled your prom?” Janis asks in shock. Alyssa nods sadly. “Oh, because you… she didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“It was what it was. She knows now,” Alyssa hums. “Anyway, I was there to speak for student council. I was mid-sentence, and then they come barreling into the gym with signs and yelling at everyone.”

“Educating everyone,” Barry corrects. “Loudly and with signs.”

“Right, educating. Sorry,” Alyssa laughs. “So my mom totally loses her shit. It’s chaos. I think Trent had a cowbell at some point?”

Trent reaches into a messenger bag next to him and pulls out a cowbell, resting it on the table with a quiet thunk.

“You just keep that with you?” Janis chuckles.

“For emergencies,” Trent explains. “You’d be surprised.”

Janis tries to think of what emergencies she’s faced that would either be helped or solved with the addition of a cowbell, and surprisingly, she can think of a few.

“Of course he keeps it all the time,” Emma chuckles. “I don’t remember… most of what happened that time. But after a few days they announced that the prom was back on.”

“Because of you?” Damian asks, looking to the stars.

“No,” they all say at the same time Emma says, “I think so.”

Everyone looks her way. “I told you this at the time, but you guys really scared people! I think you at least had a part.”

“How sweet,” Dee Dee says. “Let’s say we had an ensemble part in getting it back on.”

That gets a chuckle from everyone at the table, before Barry continues with the story.

“I, obviously, had to take Emma shopping,” he says. “She only had one dress and it was… a travesty would be an understatement.”

“I’m honestly not sure where it came from,” Emma chuckles. “Just think Little House on the Prarie but somehow so much worse.”

“So we went to the mall, and found this lovely blue dress and some good shoes,” Barry says. Emma looks like she would disagree with his choice of adjectives, but nods. “Did her hair and makeup all fancy, and bought her a corsage.”

“Aww,” Cady coos. “How sweet.”

“That part was fun,” Emma agrees fondly. “But…”

“When we got there,” Barry says. “Poor thing was so excited, but it was-it was just-“

Dee Dee continues for him, as Barry gets too emotional to keep going. “It was totally empty. Barry took Emma into the gym, and it was just horrific. There were barely any decorations, and they were just thrown up. I would be stunned if they spent more than ten dollars on the whole thing.”

“Oh god,” Damian says sadly. “I heard it was a fake, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“It sucked,” Emma chuckles sardonically, trying not to get too heavy in the middle of an IHOP. “More than anything. I didn’t care about the decorations, I just… it was so lonely, you know? I realized then that so many people I thought cared about me just didn’t. So many people I thought were my friends, weren’t. I had never felt more alone.”

“It sounds awful,” Janis says.

“It was,” Emma mumbles. Alyssa takes her hand under the table and gives it a gentle squeeze. Emma looks up and gives her a sad but grateful grin.

“I was at the… other prom. The real one,” Alyssa continues, seeming ashamed. “I had no idea what they had done, everyone on student council and the PTA hid it from me too. Some of my friends had seen us together and realized I was the ‘secret girlfriend’ and were trying to break us up.”

“Which worked,” Emma admits sadly. “I called her to try to get her to come to my own personal prom so I could at least have her there, but her mom was at the real one with her and she couldn’t leave. And I just sort of… lost it. I hung up and we didn’t talk again for a week.”

“I never blamed you for that,” Alyssa murmurs gently. “You were still trying to process everything and I just added to it.”

“No, you didn’t,” Emma insists. “We can talk more later. Anyway. I ran out, obviously. And Angie actually came after me, which was nice. She just let me cry and didn’t make me do anything. Helped me get my makeup off and stuff. She even slept on my bedroom floor in case I needed something. It was kind of like having a mom there, which I really needed.”

“How fucking old-“ Angie begins, but Trent claps a hand over her mouth. Emma laughs and continues.

“And then the rest of them came by the next day even though I yelled at them,” she says.

“With ice cream!” Barry butts in. “That’s an important detail.”

“Oh yeah, they brought me Häagen Dazs,” Emma laughs. “It was cute. Especially because they thought I wouldn’t know what it was.”

“Can you blame us? You live in the most yeehaw hick town in Indiana,” Trent says. “And that’s saying something.”

“It’s not that bad,” Emma tuts. “Anyway, they brought ice cream and were trying to convince me to do something to bring more attention to what was happening. Dee Dee actually got me on a talk show at one point, but I knew I would never be able to do something like that.”

“You still owe me a house,” Dee Dee grumbles under her breath. “But what she wound up doing was much better anyway.”

“The song?” Damian asks. Emma nods.

“I had it sort of in my head for a while, and I managed to piece it together in about a week,” she replies. “I was terrified, but it was just an overnight thing. I woke up the next day and it already had two million views.”

Alyssa squeezes her hand with a proud smile. “Half of them were me.”

“The other half were Damian,” Janis chuckles. “He made me watch it at lunch one day and we both watched it so many times we knew all the words by the next day.”

“Aww,” Emma says. “You guys are so sweet.”

“We try,” Janis and Damian say at the same time, locking eyes and glaring at each other once they notice. Cady giggles at their antics.

“Anyway,” Emma laughs. “I wasn’t expecting even that many, but people just kept watching, and then I started getting all these comments on it that were so precious. All these other queer kids all over the world sharing their stories too. Eventually it got back to Principal Hawkins and all of them, and they helped figure out how to set up an inclusive prom. And funded it, which was very helpful.”

“Yeah, helpful,” Dee Dee grumbles under her breath.

“Once we saw where the money was going it was so worth it,” Barry says, gently kicking Dee Dee under the table. “It was beautiful.”

“It really was,” Emma agrees. “But god, it took forever to set up.”

“God, yeah,” Alyssa says. “Oh, and we got back together, like, as we were setting everything up, we forgot to mention that.”

“Oh yeah,” Emma says. “Her mom came when she heard what we were doing in the gym because we never got PTA approval-“

“So she was mad,” Alyssa butts in.

“Very mad,” Emma chuckles. “But you came with her and told her to stop talking, which was both hilarious and terrifying. And then you told me you loved me in front of everyone. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.”

“Me either,” Alyssa says quietly.

“Aww,” Cady says, even though she’s heard the whole story before. It’s always a good one to repeat. “How sweet.”

“So after that whole thing we finished setting everything up,” Emma continues, smiling at her girlfriend. “And it was beautiful, even I was impressed.”

“You looked so happy when everyone started showing up,” Alyssa says fondly. “I was so proud of you. I still am. You gave so many people an incredible night they wouldn’t have had without you.”

Emma flushes slightly and looks down at her lap. Alyssa squishes her cheeks in her hand to get her to look back up.

“It really was an incredible night,” she says. “And we finally got to dance together, I think that was my favorite part.”

“That was good,” Alyssa nods. “But you’re a terrible dancer.”

“Hey! Just because I didn’t take dance classes for years,” Emma pouts.

“Oh, hush, I’m joking,” Alyssa says, kissing Emma’s cheek.

“You missed,” Emma continues pouting. Alyssa frowns in confusion and kisses her cheek again, but in a different spot. “You missed.”

Alyssa gives her a chaste kiss on the lips this time, and Emma finally smiles. Alyssa rolls her eyes lovingly. “You’re such a dork, goodness gracious.”

“You guys are almost as cute as Caddy and Janis,” Damian says, trying to snap them out of it and get them to remember the presence of the group.

“Almost?” Alyssa says, her competitive side making a slight appearance. “I think you’re biased.”

“Oh, definitely,” Damian agrees. “We don’t really have any unbiased judges though.”

“True. We’ll say it’s a truce for now,” Alyssa says. “Are we all done? I need to get up for a bit. I’m stuffed.”

“I think so,” Cady says, looking around at all the empty plates around. “We could go to the beach for the sunset, if you guys want. It’s not too far a drive.”

“Ooh, yes please,” Emma says excitedly. The adults play rock paper scissors to work out payment, and Dee Dee grumbles under her breath when she loses.

“Hungry kids. Why are pancakes so expensive?”

————-

“Oh, guys, look!” Damian says, pointing to a window of a thrift shop nearby. “We could go try on dresses!”

“We?” Janis chuckles, carrying Cady on her back. “You gonna get into a ballgown, D?”

“Why not?” Damian asks. “I have the figure for it, shut up.”

“I thought we were going to the beach,” Angie says.

“We can do both,” Barry says, seeming strangely excited. “Wear dresses to the beach.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Cady says eagerly, squeezing her legs together a bit to get Janis to go in, as if she’s riding a pony. “Please?”

“I am not paying,” Dee Dee says immediately. Everyone else nods, that’s only fair.

“Fine, fine. Come along,” Trent says, leading them into the shop as their gaggle of children follow like ducklings.

—-

The employees look a bit concerned as all nine of them parade to the discounted gown section and start looking for ones in their sizes. Damian finds his first, a royal purple gown with a high neck and a slit that would reach about to his knee. He takes it off the rack and heads over to the changing room, rapidly followed by Barry with his silver gown.

“How did-“ Emma stutters. “I guess they knew what they were looking for.”

Angie helps Trent find one that would fit him, an emerald green dress with long sleeves and a nice v-neck collar. He shrugs and follows Barry and Damian. Angie then moves on to find one of her own, and picks out a sleek black dress made of lace and with a shorter skirt, about to the knee. Dee Dee follows with one she seems to have grabbed at random, a nice yellow gown complete with a cape.

Alyssa picks a pink dress with a longer train, since she wore a short dress to both of her real proms and wants to experiment a little. Cady picks a yellow one, with longer sleeves and a bow in the back. The skirt is short, which makes her a little nervous, but she decides to give it a go.

Janis and Emma both look a bit lost, staring aimlessly at the racks and flicking through them weakly.

“Jayjay, try this one,” Cady says, offering a long, red, short-sleeved gown that looks like it would have a rather tight fit. Maybe Cady has some selfish motivations here, but she’ll never admit it. Janis raises a slightly suspicious eyebrow, but takes the dress and hauls her girlfriend off to the changing rooms.

“They all look so itchy,” Emma shudders slightly. Alyssa laughs and takes one of her hands.

“If you got one made of something like this it wouldn’t be too bad,” she says, showing Emma one made of an almost satin-like material. “And it’ll only be a couple hours at most. We’re going to the beach, sand is itchy anyway.”

“True,” Emma agrees with a little nod. “I like this one.”

“So try it,” Alyssa chuckles as Emma grabs an amethyst colored ballgown with a big poofy skirt. “Come on.”

Most of their group is waiting outside the rooms, clad in their ill fitting gowns. Trent’s is a bit too big, Barry’s is missing some sequins, and Angie’s has a small hole in the sleeve, but none of them complain.

Cady and Janis open the curtains to their respective rooms, revealing their dresses to one another. Janis is somehow not tall enough to fill her dress out, which makes her look a bit like Morticia Addams, but she doesn’t mind. Cady’s is almost perfect, but the skirt clings to her legs in an odd way.

“You look nice!” Cady says, gently adjusting Janis’ sleeve as Janis tugs at her collar.

“It’s a bit tight,” Janis says, sounding rather choked.

“I can fix that once we buy it,” Barry says, looking at himself in the mirror. Everyone looks at him in concern. “What? I have a stitch kit, I’ll just cut the collar off it.”

“Oh,” everyone says. Alyssa and Emma exit the changing rooms then, prompting coos from everyone.

“Emmy, you look beautiful!” Alyssa says, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. “The color really suits you.”

“Does it?” Emma says, sarcastically striking a pose. “It feels very… purple.”

“I like purple,” Alyssa hums, adjusting Emma’s skirt.

“You look really nice,” Emma replies, looking at Alyssa’s long dress. Hers is the closest to fitting correctly out of everyone’s.

“Thanks!” Alyssa says, putting her hands on her hips and popping out a knee. Emma laughs and kisses her gently.

“Okay, let’s go!” Angie says happily, having been taking pictures of everyone like a proud mom taking photos for her Facebook. Angie, Trent, and Barry split the cost among them, and they unleash their prom-ready selves onto the public.

—————-

“So you guys just graduated, right?” Alyssa asks, strolling down the shore holding hands with Emma. Cady and Janis are also hand in hand walking next to them.

“Yep!” Cady chirps.

“So you must’ve just had your senior prom too, what was yours like?”

“It was so fun! Damian took me shopping and I had the most beautiful dress,” Cady replies eagerly. “And Janis had a suit to match and it was… she looked… so hot.”

“Ooh,” Emma teases. “Scandalous.”

“Hey,” Cady says. “I’m allowed to think she’s hot.”

“Fair enough,” Emma shrugs.

“What about you guys, how are you handling your post-prom fame?” Janis jokes.

“Pretty well,” Emma chuckles. “Or at least I think we are.”

“You certainly are,” Alyssa murmurs.

“Oh yeah, aren’t you starting a nonprofit or something?” Cady asks.

“Wait, what?” Janis asks.

“I’m trying,” Emma laughs again. “Lyss’ mom is actually helping me. And trying to start a charity looks, like, super good on college applications, so that’s nice.”

“I thought your mom started this whole fiasco,” Janis says confusedly.

“Oh, she did,” Alyssa confirms. “But she’s cool with the gays now. She had a lot of questions and stuff, and she’s still having to work pretty hard at it. Changing opinions and thought patterns that were instilled in you from

childhood is tough. But she’s trying.”

“Yeah, she came to pride with us this year,” Emma says. “It was cute, she had a rainbow pantsuit and everything.”

“Go mom,” Janis chuckles. “I’m glad she turned things around.”

“Me too,” Alyssa murmurs quietly.

“Me three,” Emma says, squeezing her hand.

“So what’s this charity you’re getting going?” Cady asks.

“It’s called the Unruly Hearts Foundation,” Emma explains. “It’s a nonprofit that takes donations and stuff to throw other inclusive events around the country. Create safe spaces. And we also donate a fair bit to LGBTQ+ shelters and stuff, too.”

“That’s awesome,” Janis says. “I’m broke but I’ll donate a bit once I get my commissions business going.”

“Thanks, Janis,” Emma chuckles. “You know, we could use some branding. A logo, stuff for our website. If you’re interest-“

“Yes,” Janis interrupts. “I’m interested. Please.”

“Groovy,” Emma laughs. “I’ll be in touch, get Cady to give you my number.”

“You say groovy too?!” Damian asks eagerly as he makes an appearance. “These two always make fun of me for it.”

“Hell yeah I say groovy,” Emma says, giving Damian a fist bump. “Sometimes it’s the only word that fits the vibes, you know?”

“Yes!” Damian says. “See? Emma gets it.”

“I think ‘tits’ is pretty versatile,” Janis says. “You kind of look like Ursula, by the way, Dame.”

“Thanks,” Damian says, swishing his purple skirt around. “I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”

“It was,” Janis huffs. “As if I’d ever insult you.”

“You called me a ‘fucking deplorable kneecap’ on the way here,” Damian retaliates. Emma and Alyssa rode separately and burst out laughing.

“And now I have grown as a person. Developed myself.”

“It was ten minutes ago!”

“And? I’m not the same me I was two minutes ago, let alone ten,” Janis defends.

“Thank god,” Damian grumbles jokingly.

“Hey!” Janis says, breaking away from Cady and running after him. Damian shrieks and holds up his skirts to run away.

“Do we need to intervene here, Cades?” Emma asks with a slight chuckle as Damian and Janis sprint up and down the shoreline in a sort of oval.

“Nah,” Cady shrugs. “They do stuff like this about once a week. Janis knows she needs him, she won’t actually do anything.”

Just as she says that, Damian takes a hard left and runs full tilt into the lake. Janis pauses for a second before shrugging and running after him.

“Or maybe she will.”

“That water must be cold,” Alyssa chuckles in concern.

“Let’s find out!” Emma says boldly, tightening her grip on Alyssa’s hand and running them towards the water as well. Alyssa shrieks as they leap into the lake with a splash. Cady realizes she’s alone and also runs in, managing a cannonball into the water.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Barry yells, walking up on a sort of puddle of teenagers in soaking wet dresses.

“They’re being kids, let them live,” Dee Dee says. “Unrelated, can you swim?”

“Yeah, wh- don’t you dare,” Barry says, turning to face her.

“Oh, I would never,” Dee Dee says, aghast at the mere suggestion. Trent then comes sprinting up and tackles Barry into the lake. “But he would.”

Angie cackles and high fives her. Dee Dee crosses her arms over her chest and smiles down as Barry pops back up with a splutter.

“Dee Dee Allen!” Barry demands. “Get your ass in here.”

“No, I don’t think I will, thank you,” Dee Dee says casually, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet.

“Oh come on,” Angie coaxes. “It’s only fair.”

“I didn’t push him!”

“You had a role.”

Dee Dee ponders this for a moment before she begrudgingly reaches to take Angie’s hand, and they leap in together.

“Yay!” Emma cheers, delighted that all her friends made it into the lake one way or another. Some of them are significantly less happy about this, but everyone is laughing eventually.

“Hey, Caddy,” Janis says. She swims over to her girlfriend and kisses her gently, before booping her nose. “Tag. You’re it.”

Cady laughs as Janis swims away as fast as she can, rapidly followed by the rest of the group. Cady swims around for a second while she ponders her options to decide who to go after. Emma is a strong swimmer, being on her high school swim team and all. Alyssa is okay, but a bit weaker.

Barry seems to be the slowest, and gives her the best chance of success. He looks very anxious as Cady stares him down before lunging for him. He shrieks as Cady manages to snag his skirt and tap his arm under the water before she backstrokes away.

“Damn it,” he puffs. “I’m having elementary school flashbacks.”

“Better than middle school flashbacks,” Angie calls.

“Amen,” Janis says. She screams as Barry goes for her and swims away, huddling behind Damian for protection.

“Hey!” Damian whines, swimming away from her and creating a sort of three-way chase. Janis quickly gives up on Damian’s protection and swims to Cady instead.

“Protect me,” she pleads. Cady smiles as Janis hides behind her, peeking over her shoulder to check where the threat is.

“You’re so cute.”

“No I’m not,” Janis pouts. “I’m being stealthy.”

“Uhhuh,” Cady says as Janis clings to her like a precious little octopus. “If you get me tagged again I’m breaking up with you.”

“That’s fair,” Janis agrees with a shrug. Alyssa suddenly gives a shriek as Barry taps her leg under the water. “Uh oh.”

————-

After an hour or so of tag, the sun begins to set for the day. The water temperature plummets and everyone swims to shore to watch the sky be painted beautiful shades of pink and orange and purple. The adults and Damian head back to the car to go hunt for towels and dry clothes somewhere.

But Cady, Janis, Emma and Alyssa stay behind, deciding they don’t mind so much if they’re in heavy, cold dresses and getting covered in itchy sand. Cady holds Janis on her lap and Alyssa has Emma in hers, all of them staring out over the expanse of the water before them together.

“You guys should visit more often,” Cady says quietly as the first stars begin to make an appearance.

“Absolutely,” Alyssa says, looking down at her girlfriend. “This was an awesome day.”

“And we’ll have more,” Emma says.

Together.

—-

thank you so much for reading! hope you enjoyed!

lots of love,

ezzy

[coexiising]

Fade Into You - Chapter Four

SUMMARY ✦ Your first day at Vader’s castle.

WARNING ✦ N/A

MASTERLIST ✦ Here.

The first thing you noticed when your senses were given back to you was the warm heat emitting from whatever you were laying on. When you opened your eyes you saw that there was a small blanket draped below you, and you laid on some kind of tiny mattress. Upon further inspection, you saw that you were in some type of room - or much rather a cell, since it was clear that there was no way to get out of here. You felt overwhelmed, mentally cursing yourself to think that this could possibly work. You had walked right into the hands of a Sith, a very powerful Sith whose intentions you didn’t know at all.

Sitting up, a pounding pressure was felt in your head, it was dull and made you disoriented for a moment. Your thoughts took you back to the last moment you could remember, Vader grabbing you by the throat and pushing you up against the wall. Your head must’ve hit the rock hard and you were just now feeling the aftermath that the encounter had on your body. You could still feel the phantom touch of his hand around your throat, instinctively reaching up and touching the pads of your fingers against the nape of your neck. It was a little sore.

The room wasn’t very big, and it looked as though you were the first person to ever set foot in it before. Honestly it looked like it had been put together in a rush, possibly Vader trying to find a place for you. It wouldn’t be the first time that you had been held hostage by someone, but it was the first time that they had held you in anything other than a cell or in shackles. You knew there was no way that he would leave the door open, so there was no point in even trying.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, scanning the area to get a good sense of your surroundings and waiting for him to come. When you did hear footsteps approaching the door, you put your legs up against your chest, watching the knob turn and there was Vader, standing with a plate in his hands. Your stomach rumbled, reminding you that you had yet to eat anything today except for a cup of tea in the Council Room. Was it even ‘today’ still? You still didn’t know how long you had been passed out for.

He kicked the door closed behind him and set the plate down on the side table. “Sorry, it’s the first time I’ve had a guest over.” There was a tone of amusement behind his voice, like he found this whole situation funny.

“I’m so honored,” You retorted, noting the slight strain in your voice that was no doubt from the choking earlier. “But I think I’ve overstayed my welcome, care to let me go?” You gestured to the door, even though there was a one in a million chance that he would actually consider such a thing. You knew that you were stuck, but maybe you could somehow speak to the part of him that you saw in your dreams.

“What happened to finding out our connection?” Vader asked. “And to think you were starting to grow on me.”

“You lied to me,” You told him, eyes squinting. The smirk left his face and was replaced with him biting his inner cheek, eyes darting to the floor and averting your gaze that stayed centered on him. You could feel it in him, that inner torment that often plagued users of the dark side. He wasn’t like this in your dreams, what had changed?

The solemn look on his face left as quickly as it came. “You shouldn’t have trusted me. Isn’t that what your Council always preaches? That the Sith cannot be trusted?”

“I thought that you were different.”

Vader looked back up at you now, eyes looking directly back up into yours. Everything about him was dark except for those eyes, which for a moment you could’ve sworn you saw a hint of blue flash across them. He couldn’t be much older than you, but he was different in many ways, you two were opposites of a sort. And yet, all you could feel was the constant push of the Force towards him, like you had felt ever since you started seeing him. He was using dark energy, but something told you that he was conflicted. Maybe, just maybe there was a chance that you could bring him back to the light side.

He sucked in a breath, ignoring your statement. “You should eat something, you were out for at least a day.” Vader motioned to the plate on the table. Now that it was eye level with you, you could see that there was a piece of some type of bread and a bowl filled with something that resembled the soup you used to be given at the temple. “And then I can give you the tour.”

“Tour?” You asked.

“You are my guest.”

~

From what you gathered through Vader talking as you followed him through the different rooms of the castle, you could sense that he was a little lonely. He never gave away too much about himself or his past, but there was no one else in residence here, though he did mention that his Master came sometimes to check in on him. It was as though he was a different person than who he was when he cornered you at your first meeting. You wondered why. Maybe it was because he had been threatened.

Vader mentioned that there was no way off of Mustafar. He had taken your ship to Maker knows where and there were no other ships for you to possibly hop on. So your hopes of escaping were somewhat crushed, though there was the possibility of you contacting one of your Masters if Vader kept you alone for long enough. Would they even come if you found a way to reach them? You had disobeyed their orders. No. You thought to yourself. That was just Vader’s talk getting to you. The Order cared about you and your wellbeing. They probably had search parties looking for you right now. And your friends Obi-Wan, Rex, and Ahsoka were probably worried and fronting those teams. You had nothing to worry about . . . Right?

Your footsteps stopped in their tracks when you turned a corner, being met with a familiar window and corridor. The one from your dreams. It was the same, which gave you a sense of deja vu when you resumed walking.

“This is towards the back of the castle,” Vader explained, his footsteps significantly heavier than yours against the hard floor. “I don’t know why the dreams always end up here, the only thing here is the view.” That view, which you were nearing now, looked strikingly different in real life. The lava pooled in the same way and the obsidian looked just as dark as it always did, though now you could feel the heat arise even through the glass, and you could see that there were in fact some types of animals crawling on the rocks. They looked like little salamanders, skittering across the pebbles of brimstone. And to your left you could see a clearing where some plants were living, bushels of flowers erupting from the ground.

“I thought nothing could live on Mustafar,” You said out loud. “That’s what they always told us on Coruscant.”

“There’s some indigenous plants and animals, but nothing else could be brought here to live, which was why it was never colonized,” Vader spoke.

You squint your eyes, turning on your heel. “But you live here. Isn’t that dangerous?”

“I’ve always been here,” Vader said, shrugging his shoulders. “Ever since I was young. But it’s the same thing as you and the Jedi, they’re always taking young children.”

“But that’s different. The Jedi take and train kids to be peacekeepers,” You replied. It did pain you to think that you would never know who your parents really were, or if you had a big family. But it had always been that way, the Jedi were your family, they were the ones who cared for you. “They’re trying to make a difference in the Galaxy.”

You heard him laugh, which ticked you off more than it should’ve. “They still take kids from their families.”

“Are you really trying to have a morality competition with me, when you’re a Sith?” You retorted, shutting down this conversation before it went any further. You may be stuck here and you may be connected to him, but you weren’t going to listen to him talk about the Jedi in a bad light. Those were your people, on the right side of this whole war. Just because there was no way that you were leaving any time soon didn’t mean that you were going to be converted to the dark side. If anything, all you wanted to do was figure out this whole dilemma and then cut it off and never see this ‘Darth Vader’ again unless he was at the end of your lightsaber.

Both of you were quiet then, until he said, “I do have a name, you don’t get to come to my home and not call me by it. I won’t be disrespected in my own home. I’m a Lord.”

Now it was your turn to laugh, and you did it shamelessly. Was he really speaking to you about you respecting him, when he wasn’t respecting any of your wishes?

“I’m not calling you by your Sith name,” You said.

Vader didn’t respond, instead turning and grabbing you by the arm and walking down the hall. You didn’t fight back, knowing that he was just taking you back to the room you woke up in. Apparently he’d had enough of your backtalk for today. And he didn’t say anything when he pushed you back in and closed the door. You heard the lock click and shook your head, knowing nothing good was coming out of this.

Time went by, which you spent by exploring the room in depth. There really wasn’t much, but you did find a clock that you propped up against the wall, seeing that it was getting late. And you found another blanket in one of the drawers, you covered yourself in it and sat back down on the tiny bed, if you closed your eyes you could pretend that you were back at the Temple. You reached out through the Force, but everything was blocked. Vader probably wasn’t going to allow any kind of Force communication through, and it was useless anyways. Mustafar was so far away from Coruscant, so only a Jedi passing by would be able to sense anything. And it wasn’t like they were out in this region of the Outer Rim often.

You thought that the most boring thing about the room is that there was really nothing to do. There wasn’t a holopad for you to scroll through videos and articles endlessly, and there weren't even any books for you to read. As time ticked on and it neared eleven at night, you were pretty sure that Vader wasn’t coming back.

Though, like he could sense what you were thinking, the door opened, and Vader was there. He was dressed somewhat more comfortably, a loose black shirt hung off of him unlike his normal, fitted robes. You hated to admit that he looked somewhat attractive like this, shoving those thoughts to the side and giving him a blank expression, wondering what he wanted this time.

“Are you hungry again?” Vader asked. For someone who was supposed to be a Sith, he seemed at least a little bit concerned about your wellbeing. It was as though a switch had been flipped and he was back to his more normal self, if it wasn’t for the glowing amber eyes, you would’ve almost thought that he was a normal person.

You shook your head, knowing that you could wait until the morning to eat something.

“Okay, well, then I’m going to sleep. I’m not sure what will happen now that we’re under the same roof, but from now on our main focus should be figuring out whatever is going on,” He said, like he was suggesting but you knew that it was more of a tell. You wondered what happened after you two discovered this anomaly, if he would let you go or a darker, more sinister fate would fall upon you.

You mumbled something along the lines of ‘okay’ and watched him turn around. But then he stopped, prompting you to raise an eyebrow.

Without even looking at you, he said, “It’s Anakin.” His back was turned to you but he quickly glanced at you, then immediately darted his attention back forward, like he was hiding from you. You looked at him for a moment, not knowing what he was talking about. You hadn’t ever heard that name before . . . And then it dawned on you. That was his real name, not his Sith name. Vader was telling you his real name.

“Anakin,” You said out loud, as if you were testing the name out. It felt good on your tongue, the word spilling off of it with ease. It was a strange name, but it somewhat suited him. Now you could put a name to his face, to those golden locks and the chiseled features that silently knocked your breath away. Anakin was a name of someone you could learn to get along with, Anakin was a name you could trust. That’s who he truly was, deep down, even if he didn’t know it himself. He stiffened as he heard the name come off of your lips, like he hadn’t heard someone say it in forever. It made you even more intrigued, what was his story? He said that he has been here since he was young, how young was he? Who was this Anakin?

More importantly, why hadn’t the Jedi come for him? He was obviously strong with the Force, so why had the Jedi let him slip from their fingers?

“Goodnight, Y/N,” He spoke, not giving you a moment to answer and closing the door. You sat there, thinking about Vader as you finally decided to go to sleep. There was more that met the surface of him, that was for sure, though you wondered how much he would let you know.

Sleep overcame you rather quickly, being swept up into your familiar dreamlike state. But the dream with Vader never came, no matter how much you searched your subconscious for it. Perhaps the Force didn’t want it anymore now that you two were together, maybe this meant that you were headed in the right direction. Instead of meeting Vader literally in your dreams, you found your mind thinking of him, visions of you and him walking together, talking together, laughing together. And when you woke up the next morning, instead of recoiling at the thought of Vader, you were looking forward to your next meeting, hoping that he woke up soon and you two could get started on your day.

Whatever that would entail.

[sisterspooky1013]

Damsels, Chapter Eleven: Street Fighter

By SisterSpooky1013 / Read previous chapters here

Rated E / Tagging @today-in-fic

“Angel, I didn’t think we’d see you tonight,” Magenta greets her, stealing a quick hug.

“I took one more day off, but I was getting bored so I thought I’d come say hi,” Mila replies.

Her hair is down, chin length with yellow bleached tips against the jet-black regrowth; a pixie cut several months grown-out. Her face is bare, her eyes appearing smaller without the heavy lashes and liner, her face rounder without all the contour and blush.

Scully can’t stop staring. She can’t stop the hammering of her heart that seems to be saying Angel. Is. Mila. You. Fucking. Idiot. Mila meanders across the room, stopping to greet people before she finally makes her way to Scully, smiling sheepishly.

“Hey, Desi. You don’t look super stoked to see me.”

Scully shakes her head, her lips rooting for words. “No, I am,” she finally stammers, “I am happy to see you. I just...you look so different.”

Mila chuffs a nervous laugh. “They don’t call it catfishing for nothin’,” she jokes, tucking her silky locks behind her ear.

“Are your eyes a different color?” Scully asks dumbly.

“Yeah, contacts. Maybe you’ve heard of them?” It’s clear that Mila is growing increasingly perturbed by Scully’s response to her appearance.

“M- Angel,” Scully starts, looking at her intensely. “Can we talk, someplace private?”

Mila’s eyebrows furrow in concern and a little confusion, but she nods. Scully stands and takes her hand, guiding her down the hall and out onto the floor. The evening is in full swing now and it’s noisy and dark as she pulls Mila into a VIP room, snapping the curtain shut. She tries not to notice that this is the same one she spent time in with Mulder last night.

Mila stands near the coffee table, eyeing Scully skeptically. “Look, Desi, if you regret what happened that’s fine, we don’t ever have to talk about it again. But you’re acting really fucking weird right now.”

“Are you Mila Chamberlain?” Scully asks, her body postured for a whisper though she’s shouting to be heard over the music.

Mila’s face drains of color as she sucks in a startled breath. Her mouth opens and closes a few times before her lips begin to tremble and tears well in her eyes.

“Who the fuck are you?” she spits back at Scully, her body tensing as though she’s preparing for a fight.

Scully holds up her hands in defense. “I’m not here to hurt you, Mila. I’m here to help you. I’m with the FBI.”

Mila’s fear gives way to confusion. “Help me do what?” she asks, wiping the back of her hand across her nose.

“Get out of here, out of Damsels,” Scully offers, but this only seems to confuse Mila more. “Okay, let me start at the beginning. Your parents requested help from the FBI because they believe you’re being held against your will. I was sent here undercover to locate you so we can get you out.”

Mila’s eyes narrow. “My parents?” she asks dubiously, and Scully nods. “My parents, who I told you are awful people, who raised me to hate myself?” Her tone is growing increasingly angry.

Scully’s face falls as she finally pieces it all together. M.C. The conversion therapy. Their kiss. Mila was never being held captive. She was trying to escape.

“Do you know they tried to have me involuntarily committed?” Mila says angrily, nostrils flaring. “If they find me, they’re going to have me locked away. Better a crazy daughter than a gay one, as far as they’re concerned.”

Scully can’t find the right words to say. She doesn’t know what the right thing to do is. She’s found Mila; that’s why she’s here. But Mila doesn’t want to be found.

After watching Scully try and fail to speak for a full minute, Mila scoffs and moves past her towards the opening in the curtain. Before she leaves she turns back and speaks again, her tone dripping with sarcasm. “Thank you, so much, for your help, Desi. Or whoever the fuck you are.” And then she’s gone.

Scully scrambles for the right next step. This isn’t in any of her FBI handbooks. What do you do when it turns out the victim wasn’t a victim at all? Or that they are, but not of whom you had thought? She needs to talk to Mila again, to understand the situation. She rushes out of the VIP room and looks around, unsure if Mila returned to the back or left out the front. She’s headed towards the bar to ask Queenie if she saw Angel leave when she runs smack into Mulder.

“Sc-Desiree,” he says, putting his hands on her shoulders, “I need to talk to you.”

“Not now, Mulder,” she hisses, looking around for any sign of Mila.

“Please, it’s important. Can we go to a private room?”

She raises her arms and pulls his hands down, moving to pass him. “Get the hell out of here, Mulder, I’m working,” she growls.

He catches her wrist, pulling her back to him. He opens his mouth to speak, but instead lets loose a yelp as Denny’s fist closes around his forearm with a vice grip.

“Time to go,” Denny says in that funny flat affect she’s come to enjoy. As Mulder releases his grip on her, Denny guides him towards the door.

“Desiree! He calls over his shoulder, “tell him it’s okay!”

“Go home,” Scully says with a glare, then heads to the bar as Denny pushes Mulder outside.

“Queenie, did you see Angel go by in street clothes?” she shouts across the rail, and Queenie shakes her head.

Scully is about to go check in the back when a stricken look falls over Queenie’s face, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. Scully follows her gaze to the stage, where a moment ago Lexie was doing her set. Lexie is still up there, but so is a tall, muscled man. Lexie is cowering at the base of the pole, her hands covering the back of her head as the man kicks her repeatedly.

Scully instinctively reaches for her weapon, which is decidedly not holstered to her panties, and then scans the room for her bird dogs. Denny hasn’t yet come back from eighty-sixing Mulder. The other bird dog working tonight is nowhere to be seen. She suddenly remembers something Tibet had told her.

“Queenie!” she shouts, and it takes a couple attempts before the woman peels her eyes away from the stage and looks at her. “You have a baseball bat back there, right? Give it to me.”

Queenie lifts a wooden baseball bat from behind the bar and hands it to her with a horrified look on her face. “Don’t do something stupid, Desi. I’m calling the cops.” She turns and picks up the phone as Scully stalks away from the bar, muttering to herself “I think they’re already here.”

As she weaves through the crowd, she sees the other bird dog lying on the floor; his head is bleeding and he appears to be unconscious. She moves to the side of the stage, approaching from behind the man who is assaulting Lexie. Lexie isn’t moving anymore, but that doesn’t seem to deter him as he delivers swift, sharp kicks to her rib cage. In a room full of men, you’d think someone would have stepped up to protect this woman. Instead they all stand around gape-mouthed, looking at one another as though holding a silent vote for who should intervene. Rage swells in her chest as she steps forward and lifts the bat high over her head, bringing it down against the back of his skull with a crack .

He stumbles forward, falling over the tip rail and onto the floor in front of the stage. Ben seems to have finally realized something is going on and the music cuts out abruptly, her ears ringing in the sudden silence.

Scully wants to go to Lexie, but she knows her perpetrator has not been neutralized. She jumps down from the stage and the circle that has formed around the man expands to include her. With the bat in her hand and this outfit, she feels a bit like she’s been teleported into Street Fighter. He is attempting to push up onto his knees and she holds her weapon ready in a batter’s stance. If only Mulder were snuggled up behind her instead of outside in the parking lot, this may be a more fair fight.

“Freeze!” she commands, “federal agent!”

He lifts his head to look at her and laughs derisively before lowering it again.

She realizes how absurd she must look. All five foot three of her, four inch plastic heels and purple underwear, looking like she’s ready to make a run for first base, no badge to flash. Really intimidating, she’s sure.

“I assure you, sir, I am a federal agent and you are under arrest,” she repeats in her most authoritative voice.

He rises quickly, clearly having been exaggerating the degree of his injury, and as soon as she sees him reaching into his jacket she swings again, making contact with his jaw and sending a spray of blood and spit across the gawkers. Unfortunately, the blow doesn’t knock him off his feet, and only momentarily delays him drawing his gun and leveling it on Scully. She hears him disengage the safety and she closes her eyes.

Mulder puts up a decent fight, though admittedly more of a verbal one. He’s obstinate, but not stupid, and Denny is probably twice his weight.

“You know the rules, no touching,” Denny is explaining again, blocking Mulder from re-entering the club.

“Look, I understand that, but I know her. She doesn’t care if I touch her. Ask her! Go ask her!”

Denny is unmoved, emotionally and physically. Finally, Mulder accepts defeat and trudges towards his car at the back of the lot. Once he’s pulled the door open, he sees Denny go back inside. He sits heavily, one leg hanging out the open door, and drops his head against the headrest with an exasperated sigh. He’s about to give up and head back to Alexandria when he hears the distinctive crack of a gunshot.

His feet kick up gravel like buckshot as he flies back to the doors of the club, drawing his weapon on the way. His pounding heart is a metronome, keeping time in slow motion as it carries him towards her. As he nears the club, people start pouring out. A steady stream of terrified men scramble haphazardly from the small doorway, and he elbows his way past them, the wrong way, the right way, towards her. He makes his way to the floor, a cacophony of screams and shouts. Gunpowder and whiskey permeate the air and he pushes through the mele, towards her.

Continue Reading Here

[pl-panda]

The vines that bind us - Chapter 6

Chapter 1 || Previous || NEXT

Elevator took her all the way to the highest floor. When she exited, the floor was back to perfect condition and several more plants were awaiting her. She promised them silently to check on them soon and went to the main office. She knocked several times on the doors, but nobody answered. Hesitantly, she pushed the doors open, but no one was in the office. After double-checking with security, it turned out that Tim Drake did not show to work. She sighed. Looks like more work for her… Just like Nathalie said.

“Didn’t you cause enough drama…” Lila never got a chance to end that sentence, because Mari delivered a straight one strong enough to send her flying several feet back before she came crashing down. Blood pouring from her nose.

The girl was about to launch herself at the liar and pound her into the ground when two strong arms grabbed her. She noticed the characteristic spikes on the sides of black gloves and stated to trash around. “Let me go you overgrown furry!” She screamed. “I will mix her face with the concrete until it’s nice and even!”

She tried to wiggle herself out of his grip. Most of the class surrounded Lila and were trying to help her. It only served to irate Mari more. She kicked her leg back, hitting Batman’s shin. It was finally enough to let her go. The girl fell down... right into the embrace of Chloe and Adrien who managed to get to her on time. The two blondes hugged her tightly. 

“There. It’s alright Goldie. You got her good. Rest.” The girl cooed and pressed her best friend to her chest, muffling the sobbing. Adrien was just silently there and hugged them both. When Batman tried to approach again, the boy sent him an angry glare. The warning was clear and the vigilante didn’t really need anything from the girl right now. 

After a bit, Mari fell asleep in their embrace. The stress finally caught up to her and she couldn’t hold exhaustion at bay any longer. Chloe easily picked her up and started to walk toward a taxi that was conveniently parked nearby, waiting for them. 

“What!?” Angry Alya looked from Lila who was now being cared for by a pair of paramedics. She turned to Commissioner Gordon who was discussing something with Batman. “You!” 

The policeman looked at her curiously. Alya continued her shouting. “You’re letting her go just like that? She just assaulted Lila! She might’ve ruined her modeling career! Arrest her!”

“Miss.” Gordon shook his head. “These are some of the braves men and women in Gotham, but I doubt any of them would dare to try and arrest her right now. They don’t get paid enough.”

“What?!” Several kids started to protest, but Gordon just ignored them and directed Harvey to start taking statements. He wasn’t paid enough to deal with these brats. 

--------

Bruce sighed as he exited the Batmobile. Almost immediately, he was swarmed by the rest of his family. Jason and Dick practically carried him, still in the suit, to the movie room. 

“Now, Ladies and Gents, we have some of the greatest shows for you. We call it… The Demon Trashing!”

What followed was a clip taken from monitoring in the anteroom of the CEO office in Wayne Tower. He watched as Damian, dressed in civilian clothing, and carrying a simple ninjato on his back entered the room. He walked around for a moment before knocking on the main office doors, but whatever answer he got seemed to have irritated him given the scowl that formed on his face. He walked over to the PA’s desk that stood there, but no one was here. After a short moment, one could see the elevator doors open again and a small girl in a smart outfit walked in. Damian dashed to the shadows before she had a chance to notice him. 

Bruce resisted the urge to facepalm. He could already see where this was going. 

When the girl started to walk to the desk, his son suddenly reappeared with the sword drawn. He pressed the blade to her neck. From the angle, it was impossible to see either of them expressions. The man did not expect his son to kill a civilian for trespassing, but the amount of glee on Jason’s and Dick’s faces was suggesting that his headache hadn’t really started.

The girl suddenly grabbed the blade and pushed it away. Damian, probably acting on instinct, tried to cut her, but she just walked out of the way and disarmed his son before knocking him out. There was a short skip to when Jason and Dick entered the room. The small girl was clearly very much irritated with them from the start and when she reached her limits, she used a pencil as a projectile to open the elevator doors. 

A small smirk made its way to Bruce’s face when he saw her storm past his three sons, carrying the ninjato through a tissue. The video ended with Damian waking up.

“And that’s how Drake’s new PA trashed a certain Demon Spawn. I swear, she could probably give Luthor’s bodyguard a run for her money when it comes to being a badass” Jason commented on the silent video in his typical fashion. 

“Tt. She stole my sword.” Damian huffed.

“You mean the sword she later used to stab Riddler’s man before disarming him?”

“I still consider the best part of today when she called B. an overgrown furry,” Dick said trying to hold back on laugher.

“Wait. I have a new personal assistant?” Tim asked half-awake. 

“Yeah. She was supposed to be an intern, but apparently, Sarah hired her on the spot and quit.”

“Oh… Cool.” Tim said and took a swing from his gargantuan cup. 

“Did you manage to pull the video of her taking down Riddler?” Bruce asked.

“The cameras malfunctioned before she even entered.”

“It was me,” Tim confessed. “I was still in my office when the alarm sounded. I keep a separate copy of my suit in a hidden compartment. To save time I dressed there, but I had to disable the CCTV…”

“Yeah yeah. Whatever.” Jason shut him up. “I also got the part when Damian’s eyes roll back as my new screensaver.”

“Tt. You’re lucky I don’t have my sword.”

“Don’t think you’re getting it back any time soon,” Bruce said in a stern tone and sighed. “What exactly do we know about her?”

“She is from Gotham, but she lives in Paris for some years. She said she was practicing martial arts since she was five.” Dick started

“She is also one bada…”

Jason was interrupted by Alfred, who entered the room with a plate full of cookies and tea. “A young woman just called. She asked me to forward a message to young master Damian.”

“Tt. What is it?”

“I quote. ‘Good luck getting your sword back now. Police took it as evidence. Suck it, Wayne.’ I believe the woman was young miss Chloe Bourgeoise.”

Dick, Jason, and Tim were literally rolling on the floor laughing. Bruce just facepalmed.

“No, you can’t break into the evidence room. You might jeopardize the whole investigation if you taint the evidence.” Bruce said in an exasperated tone. 

----------

It was late after midnight (or even early morning, depends on your definition) when the vigilantes returned from the patrol, only to meet Tim and Barbara working on something on Batcomputer in tandem. Whatever it was, they were completely devoted to it since neither realized they had company until Bruce made a coughing sound.

“Not now.” 

“What exactly are you doing?” The father inside Bruce resisted the urge to force-feed Tim some sleeping meds. 

“We’re doing the background check,” Barbara said while typing frantically.

“On my new personal assistant.” The boy supplied.

“oh?” Bruce raised an eyebrow.

“Like… from what we found she is either the worst bitch on the block or strongest badass around.”

“Langauge master Tim.” Alfred scolded him. 

“Sorry. But like seriously! There are so many contradictions.”

“Check this out.” She pulled out a scan of a letter. It was largely creased, but still perfectly readable. “Her adopted parents one day disappeared, leaving her everything they owed sans some of their clothes. It was like they packed and left.”

“You suspect a foul play?”

“I’m not sure. The investigation was a joke and so was the follow-up proceeding. The interesting part is the custody battle that followed.” 

“Jagged freaking Stone and Parisian Mayor.” Tim interrupted Babs. “It ended with a compromise that Jagged was lawfully named her uncle and Mayor became her guardian. She was the one who suggested it.”

“How can one be lawfully named someone’s uncle?”

“Apparently one can in France. Or they just made some concessions to a celebrity. Seen weirder things.” He shrugged. “She was also his designer for years now. You remember that mysterious MDC?”

“The one you used to fawn over?” Bruce asked.

“She is brilliant so sue me.” The boy huffed. “Also, it stands for Marigold Désign et Création. She runs an internet boutique where she takes commissions from both commoners and celebrities.”

“What does it have to do with anything?” 

“I’m getting to that. Gee.” 

“Maybe I will get there?” Babs tried to take over. “She’s been working part-time as a babysitter to get funds to buy materials for new clothes and received nothing but praise. She also became a class representative. A successful one at that. She also holds the national championship in U-17 Mechastrike.”

“How is that important exactly?” 

“You wanted to know everything about her B., so we are giving you everything.” Tim sassed

“Just… get to the important parts.” He shook his head. What did he do to deserve this?

“Fine. Her school records are a mess. Skipping that they wouldn’t hold to any official inspection, they straight-up contradict each other.” Tim waved his hand in some undefined gesture. “On one hand, she receives nothing but praise from the teachers, but at the same time, there are multiple bullying reports and even several assaults in here. Most of them were met with harsh punishments.” Tim opened a separate file. “Too harsh according to the school charter.”

“It didn’t help that the letter from her parents also mentioned these kinds of things.” Babs chimed in, trying to regain control of the tale. Bruce just gave an exasperated sigh. He just gave up and allowed them to solve it, mentally already cataloging the information. 

“Except! There were statements from several people that contradicted this. Especially Chloe Bourgeois. She said, ‘Puh-lease! Mari is the kindest doormat in the world. I was mean to her for years and she still welcomed me back with open arms.’ Given her track record, I’m inclined to believe it.” 

“There was also this Drama, capital ‘D’, with MDC stealing designs. Several tabloids caught the wind of it and it even led to the police investigation. Only after Jagged Stone intervened, the thing quickly shut up.”

“Now onto the juicy parts!” Babs smiled. 

“And that was what? An introduction?”

“Yup. She has a certified black belt in two different martial arts, is a master gymnast, has an IQ of over 130 and owns two separate businesses in Paris.” She quickly read. “As we mentioned, she is the honorary lawful niece of Jagged Stone, but also designed for Clara Nightingale, Nadia Chamack, worked with Gabriel Agreste, was offered an internship from Audrey Bourgeois before she became her ward. She was seen hanging out with Kagami Tsurugi, world-renowned fencer, and Luka Couffaine, the rising star under Jagged Stone’s tutelage.”

“That was fast.” Tim summarised. 

“Yeah. Also, she was adopted some nine years ago. She originally comes from Gotham.”

“Do we know her biological parents?” Bruce asked, getting serious.

“That’s where it gets juicy. When I tried to pull out her adoption files, the computer shut down to avoid detection. There is some serious encryption on it. Probably due to who her father is. We got some of it. She described her mother as ‘wearing an outfit that showed more skin than her beachwear’, so we suspect she was a prostitute.”

“Hm… It’s not unheard of. You say she was with her mother until she was eight?”

“Between seven and nine the file said.”

“Hm… Do you think she is a threat?”

“No. But I have a different question. Why didn’t the league investigate Paris’ supervillain?”

“We were made aware of him only recently, after what our satellites mistook for Poison Ivy attack,” Batman said in an irritated tone. The fact that there was a supervillain running around for close to four years completely undetected grated on his nerves. “Diana Prince has been investigating for some time now. She has it under control.”

“The only problem I see is that she is only sixteen,” Barbara pointed.

“I mean I’m barely seventeen and I ran this company for two years now. And don’t act high and mighty. You started playing Batgirl at fifteen.”

“Played?!” She screamed. 

“You wore a hoodie and carnival mask at first.”

This quickly developed into an insults contest until Bruce finally had enough. He just shook his head and left. Alfred silently followed him, carrying a plate of sandwiches. 

-----

The next morning, Mari woke up in her bed, with Chloe and her curled together in a mess of limbs and clothes. Of course, she panicked and jumped up, waking the blonde.

“Honestly, Goldie, five more minutes. I need my beauty sleep!” She murmured.

“Um… Why are we in one bed?”

“Because you fell asleep hugging me yesterday and refused to let go at any point. I swear I wanted to get a crowbar. Ridiculous!”

“Sorry…” Mari gave her a sheepish smile.

“None of that! You ruined Lila’s face in one punch. Adrien texted me that in the end she lost seven teeth and will require plastic surgery for her nose not to look like a mashed potato.”

“No…!” Her eyes widened. 

“Yup.” Chloe grinned, popping the ‘p’. 

“That’s awful! I can already imagine how much the class will hate me now! And the employees that saw this! There were cameras there!”

“Some people actually applauded you. It could be also because you called Batman an overgrown Furry though…” Chloe’s voice wandered off. Mari collapsed onto the bed, head buried in the pillows.

“Kill me…”

“Can I kill you with hugs?”

“Fine…”

When the panicking bluenette finally calmed down, Chloe got her to sit down and showed her the headlines.

Brave WE employee saves dozens of lives!

A hero without a suit!

Civilian stopped Riddler!

Personal Assistant takes down a dangerous criminal!

They were all overly positive and showed much support. Only one tried to vilify her based on Lila’s comment and her being punched, but it quoted Ladyblog as a reliable source, so it was dismissed. The majority of the comments were also positive. The ‘overgrown Furry’ was already trending too. 

Only one of the articles contained the list of names of people killed in the attack.

Ted Black - a security guard, put himself between the bullet and another employee Sigfried Osborne - a security guard, died when he tried to stop them from entering Molly Bishop - a PR specialist, called the police when she thought the guards were busy Heidi Dickson - a security guard, killed in crossfire Craig Lloyd - an HR employee, wrestled the gun from one of the henchmen before he was shot in the back. Ethel Arson - A lawyer, killed in crossfire Christian Thorn - a security guard, shot two of the riddler’s henchmen in defense of a group of hostages.

Their room had several live plants on the rail. Mari walked to them and allowed her powers to flow. Slowly, the flowers bloomed. She picked seven beautiful flowers and put them on the table.

“Mari… I’m sure they will understand if you don’t come to work today…” Chloe placed a hand on her best friend’s shoulder.

“No… No. I won’t be scared into hiding by Riddler of all people.” She said with determination and some coldness in her voice. She stood up and walked to her suitcase. From there, she gathered a different outfit. Now she would wear a red shirt, a black blazer with the Ladybug logo on her right breast, a black pencil skirt, and black leather ballet shoes (she still hated heels). But the greatest change was her hair and eyes. She let go of her twin pigtails and allowed her wavy hair to run free. It was no longer black, instead turning dark blue with purple highlights. Her eyes also changed. Her bluebell eyes also changed. The iridescent green she used to suppress was now mixed with the normal eye color, giving an entrancing effect that was hard to stop looking at.

“It’s time to rock this place.” She smiled at her best friend.

------- (Play ‘Confident’ by Demi Lovato) --------

Marigold and Chloe entered the Wayne Enterprises in full stride. Flashing her pass, she got them through control without the queue or checking, much to the shock of the class (who still had no idea Mari was now technically their boss). Adrien showed the girls thumbs up. Lila was seething, but neither Chloe nor Marigold paid her any mind and guards didn’t let her follow them and straight-up kicked her to the back of the queue. 

Mari gave a nod to the receptionist, but they didn’t slow down. Elevator was about to close, but one of the employees held it for her. Once they entered, she quickly checked her tablet and the to-do list she had for that day. First stop: PR. Chloe was going to HR to receive a new mentor after… the previous day.

When she entered the Public Relations department, Mari didn’t stop to chat with the employee that looked at her in awe. Her goal was the department’s head office and that’s where she would go. Gently knocking on the doors before entering, she pushed the doors. While she was smiling kindly, her whole posture screamed professional. 

“Hello. Mr. Drake will need the Friday press conference plan adjusted in response to what happened yesterday. There needs to be a mention of the event, as we won’t want to sound too detached. The press would tear us apart. Some gesture to show the public that we care…”

“Maybe a memory board in the lobby? And perhaps schedule Mr. Drake to visit each of the families somewhere next week?”

“I think it will be okay…” For a short moment, Mari allowed her confidence to drop, but she quickly gathered herself and made a note in her calendar. 

“If that’s all…”

“I will also need a press statement no later than by lunch.” She said quickly. “Make it a priority and forward it to me to read before you post it.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” The man smiled. Mari was about to leave when he spoke again. “And thank you for yesterday. Many people owe you their lives.”

She stopped in her tracks, unable to say a word. Finally, she regained her composure. “Thank you. I… I’m coping.” 

As she left the office toward the elevator, Lila and Alya, who were interning in that department, tried to speak with her, but she didn’t even spare them a glance. Alya tried to grab her, but she was stopped by one of the older employees. As the elevator doors closed, Mari could see the girls receive a serious scolding. A grin made its way onto her face. Lila and Alya would have a really hard life for the next two months. Especially if she had anything to say about it. 

Her next stop was the security office. She entered it with a neutral expression, but it lasted only maybe five steps from the elevator. She didn’t tear up. She was a Gothamite inside. Right as one walked out of the elevator, there was a small bar, behind which a board was filled with pictures. Some looked really old, black and white or even sepia, while some others were high-quality and new. Roughly half of them were the clean pictures one would attach to a resume. The other half were profile pictures from social media. Or a photo that was taken in the forest. One was even a detailed drawing of a person. There were maybe fifty of them in total.

“It’s a reminder. Guards who lost their lives since the founding of WE” An older man said. “Silas Wayne started the tradition after he served in the Great War. You’re here for something miss?”

“Oh… Yes. The security on Friday press conference. We must increase it by about fifty percent. And make sure that only those with invites can enter.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He saluted her.

“Um…” Mari suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable. 

“Don’t worry. It wasn’t your fault.” He said in a comforting voice.

“Thank you, sir.” She allowed a weak smile to enter her face before she left. Only two more stops. 

The elevator next took her to the Legal Department. She had many things that needed to be done here. Chloe met her as soon as she exited the elevator. Mari managed to regain her professional posture and once more emanated the aura of confidence. She wasn’t sure how long she could keep it up, but she was determined to show that she was okay. 

“I already forwarded your requests. At first, Madame McKinsley was reluctant, but apparently, our entrance is already the top corporate gossip. Good job Mari-bear.”

“Good. Thanks, Chlo. Now get back to work before someone sees me get friendly with an intern. I have a plan.” Before they separated, Marigold let a smile ghost her face. “One more thing. You’re free to unleash the foxes of war.”

Chloe lit up at that. Her whole demeanor changed to almost beaming light. She immediately started planning. Mari left her to the devious scheming and instead went to McKinsley office. The head of the Legal Department was a middle-aged woman with short, slightly graying brown hair and no-nonsense composure.

“Miss Bourgeoise informed me of your visit. I already had several documents prepared, but I will need clarification on several things.” She offered the young PA a chair, but Mari refused with a shake of her head. She opened her tablet and started to go through the list.

“First of all, the video that caused the attack was leaked by an intern. What actions exactly can be undertaken in response?”

“There are several options. We could terminate their contract entirely, but as it’s their first offense, it could’ve been seen as too harsh. It would also require to terminate all internships.” The woman was clearly unamused by the situation. Mari just raised her eyebrow and gave her a quizzing look.

“I’m not sure who in their right mind wrote their contracts, but when I track them down they are gonna get their ass demoted to toilet cleaner. It’s one big mess.”

“Don’t I know it…” Mari deadpanned. “So, other options?”

“We can move them between departments, so having them demoted to Toilet cleaners could also work, but it’s not exactly a legal punishment. The fact that it was Riddler really threw a wrench in any legal proceeding as he is clinically insane and the video was not directly calling him out and only speaking about him. I could give you the legal mumbo-jumbo, but the gist is that they are somewhat protected.”

“What about revoking their privileges?”

“Take that to HR.” 

“Will do. Now, about the next matter.”

“It was much easier. She can’t do anything to you, not even forward the bill. You were in shock and there are several recordings showing her taunting you. If she pushes it, she will lose. You’re a public hero right now. Good job by the way.”

“I was only doing what had to be done.” Mari brushed it, doing her best to keep a professional face. 

“Sure…” It was clear that McKinsley did not believe her.

“Now about the last thing?”

“Ah. The slander. I already directed it to our French and Italian departments, but it’s slow-going. That witch made it an international case. It will definitely bite her, but we have to be patient.”

“Brilliant. Thank you for your time.” Mari left the room with a grin on her face. Now onto the HR.

As she strode through the floor, people turned their heads to look at her. In the killing outfit, she looked older than she was and the aura of confidence and professionalism made her seem like a powerful woman. They had no idea just how powerful she was, but the way she carried herself was enough to make them shake in their shoes. 

----

When the doors of the elevator opened, Juleka and Rose were waiting for her. Both looked furious. Before either got a chance to say anything though, Marigold silenced them with a murderous glare that took away their voice. She strode past them looking fabulous. Any other employee removed themselves from her path to avoid her ire. The rumors were already circulating and the fact that she took down Riddler before Batman even arrived did wonder to her image. 

“Hello. I had an appointment.” She said when she entered the head of the department office. 

“Yes. Miss Dupain-Cheng. I was told you forwarded a list of topics, but an intern lost it.”

“Was this intern from my class?” She asked in a cold voice.

“Um… Yes actually.” The woman said after checking a small post-it.

“Then it was probably sabotage.” Mari spat the words. “I asked to have a list of possible punishments in regards to the newest intern group prepared. Two of them were responsible for the leak. Sadly, as one of them is the class representative, she is quite popular.”

“Ah. Well…”

“First of all, both Alya Cesaire and Lila Rossi are to have all possible privileges revoked for breaking the rules. They leaked or were involved in the leak of video. Neither of them is to be handed anything more important than refilling a stapler or bringing someone coffee, to ensure they are no further threat to this company. They will also receive an official warning and an entry to their acts. They are also restricted to the lower floors. If possible, I want their access to electronic devices restricted. Maybe assign them a pager each so it doesn’t negatively impact their work.”

“Hm… I will see what can be done, Ma’am.” The woman replied, already going through her notes.

“Good. Onto the next business, while it pains me to do it so fast, we need to hire more security as soon as possible. But make sure to triple check their backgrounds.” 

“Understandable.” 

“And the last thing. Why was Damian Wayne allowed to bring a ninjato into the building?”

“There is actually no restriction on bringing swords ma’am. We’re trying to fix it, but we’ve been blocked at every turn even when Mr. Wayne was the CEO.”

“And whose permission is needed?” Mari allowed a small grin.

“Yours would do. Sarah was always too stuck up to even leave her desk unless forced so she didn’t care that much.”

“Consider my permission granted. Forward the paperwork to me.”

“And if Mr. Drake disagrees?”

“He can try.” She said coldly, remembering how close she came to being cut in half.

“Oh…”

“Last thing. When is the top floor scheduled for repairs?”

“It should be done already. It was made to withstand an assault from a much larger force, so we only had to replace the furniture. Following the instructions that were left, we repotted the plants into bigger and more decorative pots. As per your request, we added some more plants.”

“Thank you. Plants always calm me down.”

“I prefer cat pictures.” She pointed at the wall where a cheesy calendar with a cat giving her thumbs-up was hanged. It took all of Marigold’s willpower not to burst into laugher at the image of Chat Noir posing for such a calendar.

“Good. Thank you.” With that, she left. This time, Rose and Juleka did not try anything. They were too terrified of her. 

Elevator took her all the way to the highest floor. When she exited, the floor was back to perfect condition and several more plants were awaiting her. She promised them silently to check on them soon and went to the main office. She knocked several times on the doors, but nobody answered. Hesitantly, she pushed the doors open, but no one was in the office. After double-checking with security, it turned out that Tim Drake did not show to work. She sighed. Looks like more work for her… Just like Nathalie said.

----

NEXT

[meyeselph]

Gwenpool: Desperate Misanthrope's Confused Angst

Showtime

Ms. Pool woke up in a familiar room. Not in Krakoa - there are no mutants around. This isn’t a story about that. Look, honestly, without an actual Gwenpool series and the constant breaks in her comics appearance I can’t even begin to give a fuck. I cancelled my marvel universe subbie. I might get back to my stories but single issues are iffy. I read fast and don’t pore over the artwork. So I get 10 minutes of entertainment for….FIVE DOLLARS? When did this happen? Jeezus.

Who even reads comics anymore?

Anyway, long story short, Gwen got out of bed and recognized the room as her old one from the “old times.” The dark times. The ‘not running around in pink and white outfits and shooting people’ times. She panicked (Been there. It is what it is though). The only way out of trauma is through.

She dressed in old clothes, immediately hit by old smells, she couldn’t help but cry. Was it all a dream? Have I gone insane (again)? All the usual self doubts cropped up. I mean, really, if you think this kind of thing didn’t pass through her mind regularly why don’t you transport yourself to a comic book universe?

Oh, you can’t?

Oh. It isn’t actually possible for you and I’m stupid for suggesting it. So, yeah. If it actually happened and you kept that attitude then the logical assumption for a normie is a mental breakdown. Trick for Gwen, though, is it's probably always been both real and her being nuts.

So she goes downstairs to the kitchen to figure out why this is happening and Evil Gwen is having cereal. Let's say cocoa puffs. I’ve been thinking about those recently. You ever remember cereal as something worth cherishing. Not as just bullshit that TV convinced you to want? God damn, now I want Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp wasn’t even ever that good. Why do I want Cookie Crisp?

So also sitting around the table were the faceless versions of her father, mother, and her brother. Just chilling. No BD. Seen Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind?

Yes, I know that references aren’t jokes - fuck you, I’m painting a picture and I CAN’T PAINT, THAT’S WHY THIS ISN’T A COMIC. Fucks sake. Anyway. So, Gwen is so creeped out that she just sits her butt down by Evil Gwen as if she’s the comforting presence here.

Her name’s too long. Let’s call Evil Gwen uh…….Gren. You know, like Grendel from Beowulf. I haven’t actually read Beowulf and this is all a little confusing but I'm solving problems here. Writing this is harder for me than you would think so it’s best to keep things flowing off the cuff. That’s the Gwenpool™ style anyway, isn’t it? Are you laughing yet? IMPROV. “YES AND” MY SHIT, READER!

“So, you ever really look into the retconned past thing, hun?” Gren said, moving her tongue around her food. Being gross as an attempt to be properly evil. She swallowed before continuing. “This is all I could really put together on short notice but i’m pretty sure what the future people created, all that stuff to try and trick you, it was all bullshit.”

“What do you mean? Are you trying to convince me to go all psycho like you again?” Gwen asked, exasperated, realizing she was now back in the whole ‘fuck with Gwen to decide her fate’ song and dance routine from the end of her first arc.

“Nah, not really.” Gren said. A hammer appeared in her hands out of nowhere and Gren swung it into their fake father’s head, snapping his neck..

“DAD!” Gwen instinctively cried as she saw her father’s body slump to the floor. Gren slapped Gwen’s face. “That’s it,” Gren said, “this is what the trick was.This is a poorly created character in a fictional story. Meant to manipulate you into attaching your concept of “father” to it. Even his finished version in the original comics run wasn’t THAT well drawn. Your dad read like a boomer’s idea of a responsible parent. You were going through a mental crisis and struggling to find purpose in life and his genius idea was get a shitty low paying job and suck it up?”

Gren turned to their brother, pushed his face to the table and smashed the back of his skull. . “Brother dearest, too. Going right along with their victim blaming. He gaslighted you as if what you were going through was just you being ‘irresponsible.’ Bitch, people working a minimum wage job aren’t somehow not impoverished and miserable because they get some of that ‘honest work’ that folks keep badgering on about. Minimum wage work is occupied by many physically and mentally disabled people held hostage; they’re people society only pretends to care about. Then they turn it all into you acting like some world ending threat. No questions about what drove you to the edge in the first place. You are just ‘unstable,’ so you’re just a problem to be solved. They say, ‘Let’s all solve this girl being upset and on edge by ruining her concept of self, reality, and memory.’ Brilliant!”

Gwen barely processed this in horror. Gren then slit the poor facsimile of their mother’s throat while continuing to rant, “You see people die all the time, Gwen. Half of the time you are doing the killing. You do it because it’s in a story. In a story the NPCs don’t matter and, after all, your original schtick in the story was to be kill-crazy. The non-marketable characters can be replaced or retconned at the stroke of the artist’s pen.” Gren leans forward as she pulls a Gwenpool mask over Gwens face. “Then the writers convince you that you have some middle class milk toast family and you take abuse and subsume your emotional needs because the problem MUST be you. You aren’t ‘normal’ so you have to be fixed.”

Gwen wiped her eyes over the mask and sighed. A bit of fire filled her gut as she stared at Gren. “So fucking what? You want me to go on a killing spree and be a big time villain to get myself a nice, shiny permanent big bad status? That’s how I stay around right? Just build my legacy on bodies?”

Gren scoffed “You already lost that fight, girly. Where do you think we are? Because this ain’t Marvel Comics.”

Confused, Gwen blinked and tried reaching for the page margins, finding nothing. Wait….why was everything on this page so ill defined and undetailed? Wait? Why was the story in kinda wobbly third person past tense?

Gwen sighed “Oh. I’m in a fanfic. I guess the publishing fight is for another day eh?”

“My advice, personally,” Gren stated, “is that you consider the lobster.”

“Wait, what the fuck?”

Gren pulled aside the kitchen curtains revealing the face of a giant lobster, its claws tapping on the glass. The lobster muttering gutterally about personal responsibility.

“Because there’s a couple thousand giant lobsters outside that would like to claw you until you read their book.”

--

Scared of Girls

On the rooftop, Gren shoved a high powered rifle into Gwen’s hands while she handled the close range threats. So, this conversation they’re about to have is important. Sniping puts Gwen into a sort of zen space, so that’s a better task to keep her focused, after all.

“So, what? You wanted me to internalize that my “origin story” is bullshit? Okay, what does that accomplish, then?” Gwen asked in a bit of a deadpan. She was so tired today. Not really feeling her happy go lucky energy. More like a “happy go fucky” energy. It was hard to always be on a knife's edge. Still the rifle’s kick into her shoulder was satisfying as she blew through two of the creepy looking lobsters at once. “Also, why the lobsters?”

Gren considered this. “Okay, last question first, I had to experiment a lot and do a lot of research to construct this place for your learning and healing in fanfic form....These buddies are a failed experiment of mine that I repurposed because the fic needed more action. Isn’t that right, giant enemy crap?” As she peppers the nearest goon with a hail of shotgun pellets the entire throng of them burst out, sharply muttering about divine symbols.

“As for what I'm trying to teach you, it’s that you aren’t reaching your potential.” Gren grumpily huffed.

“Duh,” Gwen reloads, “I mean you just killed a mannequin version of the voice in my head that says that to me every day.” one of those crustaceans talks about feminine symbolism while she decides on her next target.

“Not like fake daddy’s ‘Be a responsible member of society by paying your taxes’ type of potential. I mean your creative and emotional potential.” Gren flipped off the slavering throng of monsters, noticing they were starting to keep their distance from the roof.

“I never did finish that fanfic idea I had.” Gwen mused.

“God, don’t mention that,” Gren thrusts a finger at Gwenpool. “Not that I don’t respect fanfic, but when comic book writers make you and Kamala squee about fanfiction to try and relate to “the kids” it comes across as so condescending.”

“Really? I mean…..I'm sure it’s meant as support for the concept?”

“Most fucking superhero comics are just legalized fanfiction! The people who created the characters are either long gone or working on someone else’s characters! They just think they are so much better because they got fucking paid. They can’t imagine themselves as on the same playing field as fanficcers even though most of them have the same level of connection to the roots of the work as anyone else.” Gren groused loudly as she seemed to pull Reed Richards out of nowhere.

Confused, Reed looked around until his eyes met Gwen’s.“Oh great, you again.” Reed groaned as he turned to survey the piles of lobster gibs while Gwen cheered the lobster forces’ retreat with a resounding “EDF, EDF!”. The scattered creatures skittered amongst the bland scenery. It looked like a suburban neighborhood but someone forgot to color in the sky….or write that the sky had color. A castle hung out in the distance breaking up the generic normalcy and lay cloaked in shadow despite being surrounded by an endless white void.

“And…..black….you?” Reed pointed to Gren, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I have an evil future self….well I stopped that future so it’s an….evil...alternate timeline self?” Gwen said with a nervous chuckle, abandoning the kill quest for the minute and rested her rifle on the roof.

“Ah. Yeah I’ve been down that road. It’s a rather common occurrence. Multiverse being what it is.” Reed laughed heartily while putting his hands on his hips.

“I’m not sure I’m evil, honestly,” Gren interjected. “I think I’m just really fucking grumpy and I’m slightly more gung-ho on the homicide. Considering Gwen’s already one of the more kill crazy characters on the roster it’s not that much of a distinction.” Gren flipped her cape. “My main distinction is I don’t like that meme from The Incredibles! You can just make it so the cape detaches automatically when it’s pulled hard enough!”

“You could still have it tangled up around your face.” Reed pointed out in his standard know-it-all fashion.

“Don’t make me go into fuck wife mode, stretch.” Gren spat. “Okay, anyway, so I brought him here to illustrate a point. Reed. Explain particle physics to me as a laymen.”

“Huh...i’m not sure why but okay. Particle physics (also known as high energy physics) is a branch of physics that studies the nature of the particles that constitute matter and radiation. Although the word particle can refer to various types of very small objects (e.g. protons, gas particles, or even household dust), particle physics usually investigates the irreducibly smallest detectable particles and the fundamental interactions necessary to explain their behaviour. In current understanding, these elementary particles are excitations of the quantum fields that also govern their interactions. The currently dominant theory explaining these fundamental particles and fields, along with their dynamics, is called the Standard Model. Thus, modern particle physics generally investigates the Standard Model and its various possible extensions, e.g. to the newest "known" particle, the Higgs boson, or even to the oldest known force field, gravity.” Reed rattled this off rather mechanically.

Gren then took out her phone and showed Gwen the Wikipedia article on “Particle Physics,” which is naturally the same words that Reed had regurgitated above, just without any formatting and, again, on a phone.

“Reed can’t be a genius in any subject unless he’s written by a genius in that subject. That’s how stories work. Everyone is limited by the understanding and capabilities of the writer. Same with your origin story and all the people you’ve interacted with. If you are as ‘meta’ as you think you are then you have to realize that you aren’t actually talking to people. You are talking to the writer. Dr. Strange didn’t rewrite your existence to be a part of the Marvel Universe. As far as most of Marvel continuity goes Dr. Strange was never there and doesn’t know or care about his MCU casting…..Hey Reed, buzz off please before the conversation pivots to why you haven’t cured all known diseases.”

Reed looked a little surprised but then pulled out a teleportation device (of course he has one) and blipped away with a shrug.

“How awkward is that going to be when he enters the MCU after Kamala is already introduced with a very similar power set?” Gwen chuckled.

“Keep up the way you’ve been going and you’ll never see it. I’m not exactly expecting a young blonde girl casting call for Deadpool 3 and that’s your best bet.” Gren snarked. Gwen winced with a sigh.

“I don’t get what I'm doing wrong. I have a fanbase comparable to some of the characters that have already shown up but I can’t even get comics written about me most of the time. An MCU push seems unlikely. They would literally have to deal with completely recontextualizing my powers and gimmick”

“Let’s ask her what you should do.” Gren motioned her way to the suddenly appearing long hair future Gwen, looming over them like The Attack of the 50 foot Woman for some reason. Dwarfing the roof they are on. Let’s call her BIGwen!

--

Gold Guns Girls

As BIGwen acclimated to her surroundings she stubbed her toe on a car, dramatically flipping it so that it took out a few more lobsters before caving in a nearby house. The lamentations about clean rooms soaring as the remaining couple dozen of them attempt to clean up some of the bodies of their fallen kin. The large and sort-of-in-charge Gwen hissed in pain and adjusted her boot. Getting her balance as best as possible she muttered curses that traveled rather well considering the lung capacity of a giant.

“You know,” Gren started, “I wasn’t expecting much from our previous uses of the ‘make her big for emphasis’ trick, but it really does only work as a vague ghostly background element. I didn’t just want it to be ‘oh, here's a third Gwen for the conversation, though. Would lack umph.”

“ Yeah, I get it, but staring at my own giant taint is unsettling.” Gwen muttered.

“I’d still, hit it.” Gren grinned, then immediately got punched in the arm. “OWWW! Look, I’m the evil one here and we’re in a fanfic. I’m allowed to make internet fetish jokes.”

“And I’m allowed to hit you for it.”.

“Dirty lampshading goody two shoes. Don’t act like half your fanbase isn’t thirsty. It’s “insert current year argument”, all art is sexy to someone.” Gren complained back,rubbing her arm before hopping off the roof. Gwen followed while listening as patiently as she could considering how many changes in topic her evil-caped self is going through to get to her point. “This chick is the reason you’ve been on the path of good girl. Some vague idea that in the future everything will work out for the best. HEY, DOWN HERE, BIG SHOW!” Gren waved at BIGwen and she looked down curiously.

“Yeah what??” BIGwen responded in a booming and agitated tone. Honestly, being in this fic made every version of Gwen a little grumpy.

“How’s she supposed to be a popular hero that makes it into the MCU and has a stable publication history?” Gren asked.

“Fuck if I know.” Came BIGwen’s response. “Have you tried growing your hair out?”

“Rub it in,” Gwen muttered under her breath, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of depressed now.” Gwen said as she sat on an abandoned car.

Gren hopped on the roof of the car, patting Gwen’s shoulder before squatting with enough force to flex the car’s shocks like a rocking chair just to amuse herself. “Future “good” Gwen wasn’t an actual plot point, it was a call to action to the fans to make fanfic like this and support the character outside of the actual Canon. Chris didn’t trust that Marvel would treat the character right. That, and your obsession with getting a new book, are both the writer’s attempt to turn a marketing tactic into fan engagement. If you want to be real then that makes the fans want you to be real even more, too.”

Gwen sighs heavily and leans her chin on one hand. “I mean...the time traveling through the life of an NPC fan complete with a Never Ending Story reference was a bit sappy even by the standard we sometimes set...damn it it really was just kind of a fan manipulation trick wasn’t it?”

BIGwen Sat down on the street next to them and crossed her legs. “Hey, little me. Don’t get too down. I mean it worked for the most part. You have a healthy cult following. Characters have survived on less and there are worse things to be known for then as a fan first character”

“But I have to fight for attention all the damn time, though. It’s so easy for Wade with his fucking meme bullshit. He even gets runoff enthusiasm from me. Jeff the land shark is all over Oldpool online” Gwen felt rather heavy and tired all of a sudden. Marvel editorial forcing a gun to your head is not a fun way to be.

“All that fight is hell on the fanbase too.” Gren sighed. “Advocating for shit, getting crumbs and being expected to accept it while Disney lavishes all the attention based on some bullshit numbers game. Even if you make it into the MCU will it be a Batroc style cameo with obligatory ‘killed off in case we don’t feel like paying the actor again later.’ Will it be an emotionally rounded character or an ambush bug style joke? The thing is. You're Not the one fighting and you never were.”

“The fuck do you mean?”

“This version of her doesn’t know?” BIGwen whimpered.

“You aren’t real, Gwen.”

--

Head Like a Haunted House

“No….we aren’t having this conversation. Fuck you fuck you i’m not a fucking Nihlist and i’m not going to do this right now.” Gwen said as she scrambled off of the car and pulled out some guns. BIGwen then picked her up off the ground.

“You need to hear this, Gwen,” BIGwen boomed. “The gimmick has run its course. It’s fucking with your canon. You’re never going to be a marketable character keeping up a half fourth-wall Kayfabe”

Gren climbed onto BIGwen’s Shoulders and perched over Gwen all menacing like. “You need to listen. I’ve been trying to ease you into this. Making things more meta slowly until you were ready but it was never going to be easy.”

One of Gwen’s guns was fired from it’s holster and pierced one of BIGwen’s fingers. BIGwen screamed and her grip loosened. Soon Gwen was on the move running up her arm and firing at Gren, who dodged like the nimble and cute badass she is. “Don’t do this Gwen. Just because it doesn’t matter to the comic version of you doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m a real person god damn it! I read the comics out there! I came in! That’s why I know shit I shouldn't know. That’s what I am! THAT’S ALL I AM!” Gwen shrieked as she pulled out a sword from hammer-space and decapitated BIGwen. Suddenly a mess of colored streamers and a pile of Mickey Mouse merch tumbled out. Look, I am busy right now. Gwen is still slashing at my ass. I'm not going to explain it.

For some reason now the remaining lobsters were helping Gren. For Gwen’s own good you understand. This is proof that I’m right for some reason.

Gwen pulled out a revolver, firing pumpkin sized holes in lobsters who were still wailing about self actualization. She fully planned on shoving a sword up her evil self’s ass and getting rid of this doppelganger shit for good. Which is total bullshit by the way. She totally just cut off Gren’s leg because what the fuck you mean I’m not real? I’m going to be real all over your corpse.

Gren didn’t really think that was even a good comeback and also thought you should probably say it instead of meta willing the smack talk into existence, otherwise this fanfic is going to read like trash. Also, Gren’s leg wasn’t actually cut off. In a puff of smoke it is revealed that the cut off leg is a log and her leg is fine. Gren is a ninja now, believe it.

Gwen proceeded to do a sick ass CQC judo throw on Gren and then grab her cape and wrap it around her face like Reed suggested. Callbacks for the win! Callbacks to Checkov’s gun ideas always lead to victory in fights! She then totally shot at her and such.

But the bullet was caught by the cape because the cape was a symbiote! That’s right Gren is also GRENOM!...boy that sounds stupid. Anywho, the cape was no longer around her face and the fight continued and Gren now ALSO had extra powers and special wizard-symbiote armor (that would only show up in the MCU version if Marvel finally got the Sony characters back). The meta powers work like shit in text but this would be really good in CGI or animation if Marvel wanted to adapt this fic and give the writer lots of money. Gren still has more experience with them, though, and Gwen can’t really just kill her way out of this fic so she has to just let the story play out.

…...eh?....oh Gwen’s crying. I love/am you girl but we gotta work on the crying. Fucks sake this is harder than I thought. I’m depressed now too. Well I'll try to get the writing back on track so you guys can see what is going on. Even the lobsters are minding their manners now. Chill vibes, guys.

“The marvel character page for Gwenpool says, and I quote:

Gwenpool arrived in the Marvel Universe from the “real world,” but has wasted no time in making the most of her time in her fictional universe. Using her knowledge of comics to her advantage, Gwenpool causes and solves problems for her fellow heroes.”

Gren drags a lobster corpse slowly toward Gwen and sits on its tail as she talks to her. Taking her time to really scrape the lobster against the ground, smearing the gore on the pavement. Not that it was heavy for her or anything. Totally still has that symbiote, which would make moving it easy. Totally wasn’t a detail added in the second revision of the fic slightly before the lobsters were added.

“The words “Real world” are in quotation marks in that wiki. Real people don’t make it into comics because fiction isn’t real. Half of your versions barely make use of the ‘real person’ gimmick because it’s too meta by half and not every writer wants to waste time justifying it. So they just treat it like Deadpool’s medium awareness. Which it mostly is.”

“I really am just a fucking rip off distaff character.” Gwen moans. “Just a Gwen combined with a Pool. I’m worse than the Batman who laughs. I never mattered because I was never real”

“Fuck don’t say that. You were made with love and care by a team of creators who took a weird offshoot idea and built out a compelling metafiction idea and a likeable protagonist off of it. They just didn’t have the time and foresight to go far enough.” Gren sighed.

“Far enough?” Gwen sniffed as she was pulled up to her feet and dragged toward one of the big castles. As they walked Gren kicked along a Mickey Mouse doll that had rolled out of BIGwen’s severed head. Every time it bounced it cheerfully said ‘hahah. I love you!’

“Too much haha, not enough trauma. You’re not just a joke character.” Gren said as she kicked the Mickey doll into the big front door of the castle. The shadowy thing of course lighting up and being all fantasy and shit as the door opened.

“Well I did end both of my comic runs pretty mopey.”

“Damn right you did. When the jokes run thin they run to your real bread and butter. You’re an empathy machine.” As Gren shoves Gwen through the gate they are swallowed up in the castle, going dark again. “Let’s getcha sad clown on.”

--

Never there

“See, what evil me should have been telling you about in the original run is how to find meaning and purpose when technically nothing means anything. Comic book characters live in a world without real death and suffering. It’s all a puppet show version of real pain and real emotion meant to bring that out of an audience.” Gren opined as they walked through a black void to a couch floating in a nothing area lit only by the static of an old TV.

“Can we turn on a light?” Gwen asked as she sat on the couch. Gren sat on another recliner that suddenly appeared and put her feet up.

“Fuck off. Ambiance is a thing. We aren’t having a ‘lights on with something fun on the TV’ conversation. So look, I am not really ‘evil gwen.’ I’m half an author insert and half a plot device. If we are talking about the reality of the story you are basically talking to yourself. I am speaking about the things you don’t want to admit to yourself. You know, you’ve seen this kind of story sorta... right?” Gren picked up the remote and frustratedly changed channels between a bunch of vaguely illustrative footage on the TV, not finding anything that worked. A lot of black and white footage of trains for some reason. Just what comes to mind when I think of documentary footage? Weird.

“I am not sure how to illustrate this shit visually and this is a text story anyway so I would have to explain the illustration,” Gren griped.

“I basically get it. It’s not that uncommon a trope.” Gwen nodded.

“Because of the level of meta we are on right now we have to really acknowledge that you are basically an author insert, too. I mean, to a certain extent every version of you is more the writer that is working with your character at the time than a set character.” Gren said as she settled on a visual of Gwen being pushed out the window by her own narration text in the original comic run. When all else fails, resort to footage from the last story. That way people can look it up online!

“Right here is where the character crystallized in the mind of the author of the current fic we are in. A vague suicide metaphor wrapped up in the flavor of self destructive escapism. Your parents in the story thought it was a suicide attempt on at least some level. This is serious business. Not just a girl who doesn’t like work and can’t finish her fanfic. In this comic you are built on this understanding. The writer of this fic has ADHD and autism. So his version of you more or less has it, too. Writers bring themselves with them into their work.”

Gwen nods and takes a deep breath. “I….I can feel it. Like the world is closing around you. You aren’t built for anything that anyone wants from you. The one thing you really believe in, the one thing that really defines you, the stories in your head…..it’s just not enough.

You can’t trust you’ll ever make it with writing because you can barely write. You barely have the energy to do anything but wish that you weren’t you. What if someone actually listened? Actually believed in you and whisked you away somewhere else where the world would fit your needs? What if you were someplace you could be someone else, someone strong and confident?”

“Yeah. Like a funny anti hero in a comic for instance.” Gren nodded. “But the original comics sort of left the theme on the table. They were captured by the misconception of Gwen as the problem and not a person who needed help. All that desperation that real fans of the character might feel just bundled up into love for this character that really ‘gets’ them but Marvel doesn’t ‘get’ the character. They won't use her. They won’t go past vaguely gesturing at her mental issues and moving on. They saved the angst for Wandavision.” Gren scoffs.

“I mean the show was okay but they literally have a character built entirely on the theme of escapism and trauma. One that’s custom built for mind-screw visuals and reality bending plots and they think she’s just a lazy fangirl who really likes guns that they can sit beside Deadpool sometimes and stick in the X-Men’s bloated background character roster when they don’t need her.”

Gren leads Gwen off the couch and deeper into the void where a door to a bedroom waits. A room like her own, absolutely slopping over with old toys of comic book characters. An unclean messy space in a run-down house that smells faintly of cigarette smoke. Huddled in bed, reading an 80s era X-men comic with a flashlight, is a 12 year old Gwen.

“This is never going to be canon but this is the version of Gwen in this fic. She can’t stop crying at school. Things that shouldn’t be hard are so hard and she can’t explain why. Everyone says she’s making excuses. Meanwhile her mother is fucked out of her mind on pain killers and her step father killed himself last year ‘cleaning his gun’ while drunk. You know exactly what is on her mind right now?” Gren says as she gestures at the girl.

“I wish the superheroes would save me from this.”

“They won’t. They can’t. They were never meant to.” Gren Slams the door loudly on the scene.

“That is the emotional core of Gwenpool in this fic. The desperation that so many of the fans down here in the fucking muck of the real world feel. Poor and emotionally unfulfilled. Confused and vulnerable. If Disney and Marvel gave two fucking shits about people like that they wouldn’t waste as many stories as they do. They wouldn’t just use untold wealth to make expensive escapist stories with the military. Their gestures toward progressive ideas that they occasionally make in their stories would be THE ENTIRE POINT of their stories and the actual thing they used that money for instead of lobbying the government to keep Mickey Mouse out of the public domain.

“Disney has the power yet they save a fucking miniscule fraction of who they could. Saving people doesn’t make money.”

--

When I Get To The Green Building

Gren stormed through the void. The scene disintegrated around her as Gwen followed. Both now in a bit of a sour mood but with newfound determination.

“Come to think of it. Why is the fucking Hulk getting to fight for social justice in the comics? Why are they making a gay alternate universe Captain America? Why are they grasping at straws so hard to find characters that get to advocate and I am just sitting on a fucking island being grumpy?” Gwen groused. “I’m pretty sure I’m pansexual….at least in this fic. I could advocate for a bunch of shit at once.”

“You have a youth fanbase, a unique story and you technically aren’t an alternate universe version of fucking anything no matter how many people still think you are a Stacey. They made a fucking ‘for the fans’ character and then neglected it. Presumably because some fucking money making metric didn’t pan out despite the comics just being an MCU test kitchen and IP farm anyway.”

“You’re a fucking check mark on a ledger. I don’t even know if anyone technically created Gwenpool as a whole and Disney/Marvel can give the character to whoever they want to do whatever they want completely separate from what the fanbase wants and needs because she isn’t established. The IP landlords have spoken. The fans haven’t risen to enough ‘buy my merch’ calls to action to invest more resources. So tease endlessly until that changes.”

“Gah. Now I'm actually as pissed as you are.” Gwen said as she started fiddling with her guns. “Who do I kill?”

“We can’t do shit. You’re not even a character at this point. You are a meme for an underused character.” Gren smirked all evil like. “See but that’s it. You aren’t just a meme. You’re a MEME.”

“Uhm...I don't follow.”

“Like the concept of Justice. Gwenpool is an idea. Defined entirely by how people who engage with the idea choose to engage with it. The IP law means Disney owns Gwenpool but they don’t own how Gwenpool is perceived. Just like we as a people decide what justice is through popular consent we also decide what Gwenpool is. You see they made a character for the fans…..in my opinion that means the fans can do as they like with it even if it makes Disney uncomfortable.”

“I mean they can’t even stop porn of their characters just because of the sheer volume of the problem. I suppose people could do whatever.” Gwen nodded.

“Exactly. So the fans should just fucking Occupy Gwenpool!” Gren said as she flipped her cape dramatically with a mad smile on her face. That’s right. She was Dirtbag Leftist Gwen all along!

“Squat on that IP. Make Gwenpool a mental health advocate. Make her an LGBTQ activist. Make her fight for social and financial justice so hard that Bruce Banner looks like a poser. Make her talk shit about politicians who put their career ahead of the people. Do all the shit that makes the comicsgate crowd sad. Keep politics in our stories! Rally around that pink and white ass so hard they have to notice and then tie it all to the fact that Disney has great power and with great power they take no responsibility for how shitty the world is.”

“ If they are going to fuck Gwenpool fans they gotta learn Gwenpool fans fuck back. We have already proven we can make all kinds of cool shit. Let’s get serious and make more, harder, faster! Get a hashtag or some shit. They can't DMCA all of us! GWEN IS OURS WE JUST HAVE TO REACH OUT AND TAKE IT. Then they either respect the character and her fans or they just hit a PR disaster.”

“Marvel/Disney neglects fan focused cult character themed protest movements. Proves they are only progressive when it makes them money. They’re so worried about Mickey ending up in the public domain? We’re the public domain! After our entire lives stannin their characters and buyin their merch building them from an animation house into a juggernaut they are just another weight on top of the boot on our necks. They have to take responsibility!” At this point Gren is pretty much ranting maniacally and neglecting the actual writing of the story so this is Gwen taking over to wrap up.

Guys I may not be ‘the real Gwen’ but really, isn’t the version of Gwen that actually came from the real world all of us? Isn’t Gwenpool really the Gwens we made along the way? We could easily bring a little heroism and chaos to the real world (at least to the internet) if we really tried. Put the fear of God into some IP landlords and fight for some cool people that society is screwing over, too.

Prove that even in the fandom abyss people aren’t as powerless as they seem. Use that internet comic fan mobbing for something besides giving Zack more money. Disney is gearing up for their next IP fight for Mickey in 2024. Seems like a fine time for IP themed protests. For now we just need to spread the word that our needs are more important than their profits.

It’s been real. It’s been long. It’s been a real long time coming…..

But I finally finished my fanfic.

See ya, true believers.

[justkending]

The Slip Up. Chapter 7.

Series Summary: After a last hurrah to graduating college with a future to be a family practitioner, a little slip up happens… Seven years down the road, just when things finally seem to be going smoothly, Y/N approaches that slip up from all those years ago. She’s not looking for anything right now. She is just where she wants to be in life. It seems the universe has a different idea though. One called James Barnes. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x (Single mom) Reader

Word Count: 2900+

Warnings: Language, adulting, mentions of sexual past.

A/N: Guy’s writers block has been an actual bitch lately. For some reason this series has been so hard for me to figure out where I want to go at this stage of it. I have a few ideas and end parts made up, but this middle part is like a blank space in my mind... Anyway! I hope you enjoy what little I was able to throw together, and I’m sorry it took so long to get out!!

Chapter 7:

Rori had a soccer game that weekend, and though Y/N planned on just going with Hope and Scott since Doris was in the age group up, she saw it as a great safe place for Bucky to meet her. 

They had agreed to not quite tell Rori that he was her father considering they wanted it to be the right time. Y/N more apprehensive of things working out and scared that she would give Rori false hope of a father figure. Bucky just wanted to ease into it and not scare the little girl away. Though in the back of his head he for sure was ready to step up to the plate. But he respected Y/N’s wishes and told her that he would wait until she was ready. 

That was the thing about Bucky that Y/N couldn’t quite wrap her head around. He was so relaxed and understanding of it all. Almost too understanding. She wanted to sabotage the whole situation in her head, but every time she thought of a test for Bucky, he would pass it with flying colors. 

Asking him to wait to tell Rori the truth, she expected frustration and impatience of the idea. Instead she was surprised with agreeance and a sweet response of, “Whatever you think is best.”

When she told him about how she thought way back when possibly terminating the pregnancy when all this happened, she expected rage and disgust. And once again she was approached with understanding and empathy. 

Even still, she was always going to stay on her toes. It was the instinct of being a mother. 

“Ok sunshine. First real game today. You excited?” Y/N asked as she pulled Rori’s little jersey over her head. 

“Yes! Coach Maximoff said to kick some petunias when I get out there!” she said excitedly jumping up and down once the shirt was on. 

“Of course Pietro would say that,” Y/N laughed with a sigh. “Ok, go grab your cleats and bag, and I’ll go get the cooler of snacks for the team.”

“Yes ma’am!” Rori fake saluted, and ran to the living room where all her things were. 

“Dork,” Y/N chuckled, standing up and going to the kitchen for the last few things. 

______________________

“So what time will he be here?” Hope asked as they walked to the field. 

“Said he would be here right when Rori’s game starts. He had an important meeting or something beforehand, but was going to cut it short for her.”

“Wow, cutting off important meetings for a child you just figured out was yours 2 days ago. Color me impressed,” Hope smiled nudging her friend. 

Y/N rolled her eyes as she began setting up a seat and pulling up the cooler next to her, Rori already in the field and kicking a ball around with a friend. 

“Heads up. Coach is coming your direction,” Hope patted Y/N’s back as she began setting up a seat herself.

“Oh God. I forgot about his flirting-”

“Hello Miss. Y/L/N. You look as radiant as ever, but what’s new?” Pietro Maximoff, the coach of Rori’s team, smirked and sauntered up to the girls. 

“Piet, how are you doing?” Y/N smiled politely. She never actually hated the little comments he would make. She usually just laughed them off, and Pietro was kind about it. It was more playful banter than anything to her. 

“Always deflecting the compliments. I’m good though. How are you ladies doing this evening?” he smiled crossing his arms across his wide chest. 

“As good as ever. Doris is sad she isn’t on your team though,” Hope said plopping down and smiling up at him. 

“I know. They always grow up and leave me. Breaks my heart seeing them graduate from the Blue Jay’s to the Hawks. Next thing you know she’ll be in the Eagles,” he pouted. 

“Ugh, I’m not ready for that moment. Rori’s got one more year with the Blue Jay’s before she moves on,” Y/N said looking out to the little girl with braided pigtails. 

“I’m not ready for that either because that means I won’t be seeing much of you either,” Pietro said with an exaggerated pout. 

“That does suck for you, doesn’t it?” Y/N bantered back, getting a laugh out of him. 

“Love your spirit Y/N/N,” Piet winked, shooting a finger gun at her. 

“Don’t you have kids to coach or something. We have our first game today sir, and if I remember correctly, you told my daughter she was going to kick some petunias,” Y/N said with a smirk and raised eyebrow. 

Pietro’s genuine laugh turned to a nervous one as he started stepping backwards. “You’re right. I have to go get the girls in a huddle.”

Watching the man quickly run back to the girls, he blew the whistle bringing them in. 

“You know, if you let him. He would a hundred percent ask you on a date,” Hope chuckled, grabbing a water bottle and an apple out of the cooler. 

“Exactly why I won’t let him. I don’t need that right now.”

“Oh, I know. I’m just letting you know he definitely has a crush on you.”

“Who has a crush on who?” a voice said from behind.

The two girls turned to see the brunette and blue eyed man. He was earlier than Y/N expected. As he walked up to the two he had a boyish grin littering his face. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to intrude. Just sounded like some juicy gossip,” he chuckled, hands in his pockets. He had on a pair of jeans and an old band shirt on. He looked extremely casual for having an important meeting beforehand.

“You’re fine!” Y/N laughed with a blush at the conversation he had walked in on. “We were just goofing around.” He smiled in return and nodded his head before looking over at Hope. “Oh, this is Hope. My friend from high school and college that I told you about. Her daughter was-”

“The one you were picking up that day. You said her name was Doris, right?” he reached out his hand to Hope and smiled. 

“That would be my munchkin,” Hope smiled back standing and shaking his hand. “You must be Bucky.”

“That’s me.”

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m glad you could come watch Rori play today.”

“I am too. I’m glad Y/N let me in on the fun activities,” he smiled a little wider turning to look at Y/N. 

“Uh, Hope’s husband will be here later. His name’s Scott. Fair warning he’s kinda a dork,” Y/N chuckled, crossing her arms. All of a sudden nerves overcoming her, like a high school girl on a first date. 

“Kinda is an understatement,” Hope laughed sitting back in her seat. 

“Well, I’m excited to meet him,” Bucky said, beginning to rock on his heels. Awkward silence filling the air. “So, uh, where’s she at? I’m assuming already on the field?” he said, peering forward and scanning the grass. 

“She’s number 11,” Y/N turned trying to find her herself. “Um, there!” she pointed. “Little brown pigtails whipping in the wind.”

They were still warming up some, but for 6 year olds it was mostly just running in circles and kicking a ball. No actual warm up happening. 

“Wow,” Bucky said softly to himself. He was squinting some trying to get a better look at her. “She, uh, she looks-”

“A lot like you?” Y/N chuckled. 

“I was going to say you,” Bucky said looking back at Y/N with his own grin. “But yeah, she definitely has me in her.”

“She definitely does,” Y/N mumbled to herself when she thought of those bright blue orbs.

A few moments of silence go by as they watch the group of 5-6 year olds running around with no structure on the field for “warm-ups”. 

“So, uh, someone has a crush on you?” Bucky said, clearing his throat while looking straight forward. Trying his best to come off nonchalant.

“Crush?” Y/N questioned, before realizing what he meant. “Oh! Ha, Hope thinks Rori’s coach has a crush on me, but he’s just a flirt,” she chuckled.

“Oh, I see,” Bucky smiled softly nodding his head as he put his hand in his pockets again.

Another moment of silence, but this one a little more awkward. 

“Uh, so I brought an extra chair for you if you want,” Y/N spoke up. 

“Thanks,” he smiled turning to her. “I didn’t even think about grabbing a chair.”

“Sure thing,” she smiled heading back to the set up her and Hope had started. “I always try and keep an extra in the back of the car cause you never know what parent is going to forget.”

They got situated while they waited for the game to start, and to say it was kinda awkward was putting it lightly. Y/N didn’t really know what to talk about, and Bucky was watching Rori intently on the field wanting to soak up every moment as if he couldn’t miss anymore like this. 

“So, Bucky? Y/N tells me you're an architect,” Hope spoke up.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, breaking his concentration and smiling kindly at her. “It’s been something I’ve loved doing since I was a teenager. Figured I’d make a career out of it.”

“Makes sense,” Hope smiled. 

The two getting to know each other for the next few minutes before a whistle blew and the game started. 

Like Y/N had warned him, it wasn’t much of a soccer game as it was kids just running and trying to get a foot on the ball. Rori though was competitive and actually tried making it to the goal unlike the other kids. Bucky was impressed with her coordination for such a young girl, and found himself smiling through the whole experience. 

That was his daughter. His blood. 

Y/N looked over when she saw Bucky fully immersed in the sport, and a smile of her own grew. She could see the pride and excitement on his face. Clearly he was happy about this new part of his life. Clearly he was excited about hopefully becoming Rori’s father figure. It almost made her wish that all those years ago Bucky had been there… She wished she hadn’t gave up so fast on bringing him into their lives. 

“Y/N,” Hope nudged her. “Y/N?”

“Hmm, what?” Y/N said snapping out of her daydream.

“Games over. We’re about to start packing up,” Hope said.

“Dang, today’s game seemed faster than the rest,” Y/N shook out her head and stood. “Scott, didn’t make it,” she said looking around just now realizing.

“Yeah, he called saying he would be here for Doris, but couldn't make Rori’s. Sorry,” she pouted. 

“It’s all good,” Y/N waved off. 

“Hey,” she looked past Y/N seeing Bucky was still watching the field. “You guys should go celebrate her win. Just you three. Don’t worry about staying for Dori’s game. She’ll have more.”

“No, we never miss Doris’s games. You guys-”

“Go, Y/N. Introduce Bucky to Rori and vise versa. That was the whole point of the today,” Hope egged on, seeing her friend begin to get nervous. Y/N opened her mouth to argue and stall. “Nope,” she shook her head before looking over at Bucky. “Hey Bucky! Rori, Y/N, and you should go celebrate with ice cream. Y/N and her usually do that after a win!”

Bucky turned to the girls and his eyes widened as if coming back to reality. “Oh, I don’t want to impose-”

“Nonsense, that was the reason for today. Right Y/N?” she elbowed her friend.

On the outside Y/N looked completely normal, but on the inside she had more nerves than anything. 

“Right,” she nodded with a kind smile. “That way you and Rori can get to know each other. She would be confused if we didn’t get her celebratory ice cream.”

“I would love that then,” Bucky smiled excitedly. 

“Well, you guys have fun!” Hope grinned. “I’m going to make sure Doris is ready to go. It was nice meeting you Bucky!” Hope began walking to the field waving a quick goodbye to Buck. 

The two walked to the field where Rori was jumping up and down with her teammates as she congratulated the little girl who made the winning goal for the team. 

“Hey sunshine!” Y/N said bending down and opening her arms for Rori. 

“Mommy!” Rori shouted, running over. “Did you see that assist I did?”

“I saw them all baby! You were so good out there!” Y/N congratulated as she ruffled her hair. 

“Hi,” Rori said next looking up at the man standing behind her mom with an awestruck face on him. 

“Oh, sweetheart. This is my…” A pause as she figured out a word.

“I’m a friend of your mom,” Bucky said snapping out of his staring and smiling at the little girl. “My name’s Bucky,” he waved. 

“Hi Bucky. That’s a cool name! My name’s Rori!” she smiled walking out of her mom’s arms and reaching a hand out for him to shake. 

Bucky’s eyebrows raised at the gesture, and he slowly took her little hand and shook it as gently as he could. Almost like he was shaking a porcelain doll’s glass fingers. He looked over to Y/N who was still squatted and turned to them. She had a quirked smile and laughed lightly at his response. 

“Nice to meet you Rori. You have a pretty cool name too,” he said with a smile that he just couldn’t hold back looking at the little girl's face. 

Up close he really did see him in her. Her eyes looked like he was staring straight into a mirror. She had little freckles flecked like gold specks across her nose. Maybe that was her mom in her. Her hair was also like his. A dark brown hair almost black, but under the sun, the highlights of lighter brown and almost reddish tints peaking through. 

“Uh, Rori? Would it be ok if Bucky joined us for our little ice cream date?” Y/N asked, standing and coming over.

“Yeah!” she jumped. “Have you ever been to Moo Moo’s?” she asked Bucky.

“Uh, I can’t say I have,” he laughed at her excitement.

“Don’t worry! I’ve tried basically all the flavors now, so I can help you pick one out,” she said grabbing her bag and throwing it over her shoulder.

“That sounds perfect,” Bucky grinned looking at the giant bag that was basically her size. “Since you’re going to help me out, do you want me to carry that for you?”

“Um, actually, yeah. It’s a little heavy today cause my friend gave me an early birthday gift. But she says I can’t open it until then,” she said, handing off the bag to Bucky’s outstretched hand.

Y/N came up to the side of them grabbing Rori’s hand, leaving the little girl in the middle of her and Bucky as they walked to the car.

“Which friend?” Y/N asked.

“Jenny. She said she wasn’t going to be in town for the birthday party, and her mom told her to give it to me now so they wouldn’t forget,” Rori went on to explain as they walked. Perfectly casual with the new man next to them.

Y/N looked over at Bucky seeing him smile at the little girl as he looked back and forth at her and the sidewalk. Y/N was always going to be a little apprehensive about a man she hardly knew coming in and taking the role of her daughter’s father. I mean you never know who people truly are, so defenses are usually high. But something about his grin was genuine and made her feel at ease about the situation. She started to realize anytime she was with him he didn’t give her bad feelings or make her uncomfortable. How that was possible with a practical stranger, she wasn’t sure.

Rori had moved on to talking about the game by the time they got to the car, and Bucky was nodding as she looked straight to him to explain her position, which Y/N was sure he already knew. They paused realizing they took two different cars. 

“Hey Bucky. If you want we can all drive in my car to the ice cream shop since it’s down the block, and I can bring you back here when we’re done,” Y/N offered.

Bucky looked up and the grin he had while looking or talking with Rori was stuck on his face. “Uh, yeah, that would actually be great,” he chuckled looking back to Rori. “That ok with you?”

“Oh! If you do, I can show you my DVD collection!” Rori jumped running to get in the back seat.

“DVD collection?” Bucky chuckled. 

“She has almost every Disney movie you can think of,” Y/N laughed back, taking the bag from him and throwing it in the trunk of the SUV. “She’s very proud of it.”

“I can see that,” Bucky laughed. 

“Wait ‘till you see how excited she gets when she shows you all the kinds of ice cream she’s tried. She calls herself the expert.”

“And I’m sure she is.”

The Slip Up Tags:

@bornfortherainydays @poppunkdork @mylifeiscrazy0423 @buckybarnesthehotshot @mallyallyandra @fallenoutofrose @storrmynights @maddope @tinymalscoffee @kmuir1

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @heyiamthatbitch @zeilenkrieg @lizzymacy555 @iheartsebastianstan @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravic @traceyaudette @kakakatey @notyourtypicalrose @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @snffbeebee @thefaithfulwriter @marvelfansworld @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan  @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @carls1022 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted​

[cherrybracelets]

We Fell In Love in October

dad!spencer x reader

a continuation of these blurbs. you do not need to read them to read this fic, but they all take place in the same universe

word count: 2.7k | warnings: pregnancy, hospitals, other than that all fluff

We fell in love in October, That’s why I love fall, Looking at the stars, Admiring from a far

There was nothing that broke your heart more than the fact that you were missing your daughters first time trick or treating. But, as Spencer reminded you every day, you were way too pregnant to be out walking around all night while she got candy. You were devastated, but you knew he was right. You were nearing your due date and felt like you were carrying a whale around at all times. There was absolutely no way you’d last longer than 20 minutes without whining about how your feet hurt.

So you and Spencer decided you’d stay home and hand out candy while he took Imogen to the fanciest neighborhood in your suburb so she could get the best candy. You remember trick or treating in the same neighborhood as a kid, and the houses always had full size candy bars and toys. There was one house that made a mini haunted house in their front yard every year, and it was your favorite thing as a kid. You felt sick thinking that Immy was going to experience it for the first time without you. 

“You promise me you will take a ton of pictures and videos? If there’s not at least 500, we are literally getting a divorce,” you pouted, helping Spencer get his costume on. 

“Babe, I promise you won’t miss a second of it. I know it sucks you can’t go, but you have to keep my little baby safe,” he smiled, kissing your swollen belly and then bringing his lips to yours, giving you a small peck. 

“I’m gonna go check on her, make sure she’s got her costume all set. Why don’t you go downstairs and relax, you seem a little high strung today,” he teased, walking out of your bedroom together and into your daughters room. 

“Of course I’m high strung, Spence. I’m a thousand months pregnant and you’re taking my daughter away from me to walk around alone in the dark.” You felt yourself tearing up, one again out of control of your emotions. Being pregnant fucking sucked. 

“Do you not trust me to keep Immy safe? Do you know what I do for a living?” Spencer laughed, and you rolled your eyes in annoyance as you walked down the stairs to go flop on your couch. 

You felt the baby kick, and you placed a hand on your belly. You both decided not to find out the gender, the same thing you did with your last pregnancy. Spencer loved not knowing, claiming you got ‘more gifts’ if you didn’t know. But it drove you crazy. Even though you didn't know for sure, Spencer was convinced it was a boy. He wanted a son so bad, so you played along with his fantasy, but you were pretty certain it was a girl. You felt the same as you did when you were pregnant with Imogen, even craving the same foods as before. You had a mother's instinct- you knew who she was. 

You leaned your head back on the couch, closing your eyes to rest for a moment. You seemed to be constantly exhausted, despite spending most of the day sleeping. You slowly rubbed your belly, always afraid that if you went too long without touching her she would forget you. 

“You ready, Mommy?” You heard Spencer’s voice say, from the top of the stairs. You smiled happily, keeping your eyes closed as the two of them came down to the living room in their costumes. 

“Let me see my loves!” You responded, giggling in anticipation as you awaited your daughters first Halloween costume. 

“Look at me, Mommy! I’m so pretty!” Imogen said, Spencer holding the girl in his arms. You opened your eyes to see her dressed as a fairy- exactly what she wanted. You felt yourself tearing up, which were a mix of happy and sad tears. 

“You both look so amazing!” You stuttered, trying to get your words out through muffled cries. 

“Don’t cry, Mommy!” Immy pouted, wriggling out of Spencer’s arms and onto the couch to give you a hug. 

“Oh, I’m not sad, Im. You’re just so pretty!” You kissed her on the top of the head, trying not to mess up her costume. 

“We should probably get going soon. I don’t want to be out too late,” Spencer frowned, checking his watch and looking outside to see if it was getting dark yet. 

“Right, of course. Please keep me updated, okay?” 

“Of course, my love.” 

“Have fun, you guys. Be safe!” 

Spencer and Imogen waved goodbye to you, blowing you a kiss as they walked out the door. You tried your best not to cry as they drove away, trying to focus on getting ready to hand candy out to other kids. You knew it was probably just your anxiety, and the fact that you and Spence had been watching scary movies every night for the past month- but you had a bad feeling about tonight. And it was only a short time later when you realized your feeling was right. 

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Spencer was one of the smartest men alive- that was indisputable. But where he excelled in book smarts, sometimes his common sense was lacking. Like how he was consistently forgetting to charge his phone. So when it died after only an hour of trick or treating- probably because he hadn’t stopped taking pictures since they left- he felt like a huge idiot. Especially considering how much you reminded him to plug it in every night before bed. 

But he tried not to panic, convincing himself he had recorded enough of the night to satisfy you. Plus, now he could really be in the moment with his daughter, which was what it was all about, right? 

“C'mon Daddy,” Imogen groaned, pulling Spencer by the arm up to another house. And as Spencer followed his daughter, he realized where they were. This was the house. The ‘haunted house’ house that you talked about every Halloween, that the both of you were so excited for Immy to experience herself. And Spencer had promised you a thousand times over that he would record the entire experience. 

‘Fuck,’ he thought to himself, shaking his head in disappointment, preparing for the inevitable fight when he had to tell you he didn’t record it. Unless, they just don’t go? That could work, right? He would just tell you that they didn’t do it this year, and next Halloween they could all go together. The plan was perfect. Except for one thing. 

“Please, Daddy. I really wanna go to this house,” his daughter frowned, crossing her arms in frustration. 

“Immy, please just listen to Dad, okay. Not this house.” His daughter was persistent and adorable, which made this incredibly difficult. 

“No. I want to go to this one.” 

“Imogen Josephine, when your Dad tells you no, you have to listen.” 

“No! I want to go!” She turned around quickly, running up the driveway to the house. Spencer rolled his eyes in annoyance, chasing after her. She was running quickly, not paying attention to her surroundings. It was a disaster waiting to happen, and Spencer knew it. But he couldn’t catch up to her before disaster struck. She tripped over one of the decorations, falling on the pavement and falling on her arm. 

“Ow!” She yelled, her eyes filling with tears as she sat on the ground. Spencer caught up with her, immediately getting on the ground and checking on her. 

“Imogen! This is why you listen to me when I tell you no!” He yelled in frustration, trying to see just how bad her scrapes and cuts were. 

“Don’t yell at me!” She responded, now fully crying and screaming. 

“I’m sorry, peanut. I didn’t mean to get mad,” Spencer responded, wiping the tears from her cheeks and picking her up. 

“My arm really hurts,” she wept, holding her now swollen wrist away from them. 

“Okay, peanut, I think we need to go to the hospital and get that checked out,” Spencer instructed, carrying his daughter down the street and back towards their car. He knew you were going to kill him when he got a call from the hospital. He felt sick to his stomach as he got Immy in the car and started driving. What an absolute nightmare. Maybe he couldn’t do it without you. Maybe his skills as a parent were only valid if you were around to watch him. 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥♥

Seeing all of the cute kids in their costumes was definitely making you feel better. You knew you had to trust Spencer. He was an amazing Dad and husband, and he would always take care of your girl. You knew he would. 

But, everything seemed to fall apart in about five minutes. It all started when you went to check Spencer’s location, a bad habit that you knew wouldn’t solve anything. When it popped up that he couldn’t be located, you felt your stomach flip and your heart skip a beat. 

“Damnit Spence. Charge your fucking phone…” you whispered, shaking your head and digging your nails into your palms. It was okay, though. He was fine, they were fine. Right? 

And then the worst possible thing could’ve happened. You felt a weird pain in your abdomen, one that caused you to nearly double over and fall on the floor. Only a few seconds later, it made sense. Your water broke. 

You weren’t due for another two weeks. This could not be happening. There’s no way. But another contraction a few minutes later made it clear- you were having your baby, and Spencer had no phone. Holy shit. 

You reached for your phone and instinctively called JJ, telling yourself it was because she lived the closest but also knowing she was the only person who could handle being in the delivery room with you if you couldn’t find your husband. 

“I’m going to kill him,” you screamed into the phone, not even bothering to greet your friend or explain the situation. 

“Woah, okay kiddo. What’s going on?” 

“His phone is dead, and I am having this damn baby. I am going to kill him.” 

“Oh, Jesus (Y/N). Okay… um… we can figure this out. Do you know what neighborhood they're in?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay, I’ll send Will to go drive around and look for them. In the meantime, I am coming to pick you up and take you to the hospital. Just relax, take a few deep breaths. Everything will be fine.” 

You hung up the call and grabbed your hospital bag, patiently waiting by the door. JJ was only about ten minutes away, but it felt like you were waiting for hours. You tried calling Spencer’s phone a few times, but it went right to voicemail. This could not be happening. Holy shit, this could not be happening. 

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Spencer pulled into the emergency room parking lot, whipping his car through the lines as his daughter cried in the backseat. He finally found a spot, parking terribly and quickly grabbing Imogen. 

“We’re here now, peanut, everything’s gonna be okay,” he reassured her, not truly believing the words himself. His heart was racing, his breath shaky and his mind going a million miles a minute. He needed to talk to you as soon as possible- he needed you to tell him, and your daughter, everything would be okay. 

“Hi, um, my daughter fell and hurt her arm. I just need to get her checked in,” he spoke, his voice quick and panicky as he stood at the desk. 

“Of course. What’s her name and date of birth?” The woman asked, smiling kindly at the two of them. 

“Imogen Josephine Reid. She was born April 8th, 2017.”

“Oh, wonderful, I’ve got her file right here. Let’s get her admitted.” 

Spencer stood impatiently, holding his daughters hand as she stood next to him, watching the secretary take her sweet time to admit Imogen. Spencer was tapping his foot in frustration, which Imogen quickly noticed, placing her free hand on his knee and telling him to stop. Spencer just laughed at his daughter, who was always so unapologetic, always just telling people whatever thoughts came to her head. 

“Oh no, this is not good,” a familiar voice behind him said. He turned around quickly and saw JJ, a nauseated look on her face. 

“What are you doing here…” Spencer asked, furrowing his brows in confusion. She appeared just fine, and she wasn’t with anyone else. 

“Spencer, don’t freak out, but-” 

“SPENCER REID!” You yelled, your face red and voice fuming. 

“Wait, what is going on?” Spencer looked at you, confused, as you were being wheeled into the emergency room by a nurse.  

“Why are you at the emergency room, Spencer? What happened to Imogen?” 

“Hi Mommy! I fell and hurt my arm!” Imogen responded, her face stained with tears and her costume ripped from the fall. 

“What?” You were seething, staring at Spencer with wide eyes. You were about to yell again, but your whole body seized and pain shot through your body. Another contraction. They were getting closer, and you knew it was only a matter of time before this baby came out. You whined loudly, gripping onto the arm of the chair and closing your eyes in pain. 

“We need to get you in a room now, Mrs. Reid,” the nurse instructed, looking at JJ and Spencer. 

“Wait… are you… are we having a baby?” Spencer’s eyes got wide, excitement filling his face as he realized what was going on. 

“Yes, Spencer. Maybe you could try to not let this one break their arm,” you yelled, immediately noticing Spencer’s shit in tone as you yelled at him. 

“Okay, okay, everyone. I’m sure what happened with Immy was an accident, right Spence?” 

“Yes, yes I promise. She was running and tripped…” 

“See, (Y/N)! Just an accident. So why don’t I take her to go see the Doctor and you guys can go… have your baby,” JJ smiled, doing her best to handle the situation. She was used to dealing with yours and Spencer's chaos. She was also Imogen’s godmother, and she did not take that role lightly. 

“Okay… okay… let’s go have our baby.” 

“Let’s go have our baby!” 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥♥

On November 1st, 2020, at 1:17 AM, your second daughter was born. You weren’t shocked at all when the doctors told you it was a girl, but Spencer was at a loss for words. They wrapped your small newborn in a blanket and handed her back to you. You were even more in love with her than you thought possible, and so was your husband. 

JJ and Imogen were in the waiting room, along with Will and the rest of the team. Immy’s arm was fine- nothing more than a bad bruise. They had given her a halloween ice pack and a bag full of candy, to which JJ allowed her to have a little too much, and she crashed from the sugar rush pretty hard. She was passed out in Uncle Rossi’s arms, drooling chocolate all over his pajamas. 

“Guys… she’s here.” Spencer smiled, walking out of the delivery room to share the news with his family. 

“She? Another girl? I knew it. You owe me twenty bucks, Derek,” Garcia giggled, Derek rolling his eyes in response. 

“Can we meet her?” JJ asked, happy to have another little girl to spoil. 

“Of course. Come on!” 

Rossi woke Imogen up, who was thrilled to meet her baby sister. Everyone walked quietly into the room, where you were holding your sleeping daughter in your arms. You were overjoyed to see all of them, knowing they would always be your family, and the first to meet your baby, because they were her family, too. 

“Mommy!” Immy yelled, running towards you. 

“Shh, be quiet, peanut. She’s sleeping!” 

“Got it. Quiet.” Immy whispered, giggly as she looked down on her little sister. 

“She looks like you, Spence,” Emily laughed, lightly grabbing Spencer’s shoulder. 

“Do you remember how much Imogen looked like (Y/N) when she was born?” JJ asked, smiling down at the two girls. 

“We now have a clone of each of us. It’s only a matter of time before we take over the world,” Spencer laughed, his arm wrapped around you and the baby. 

“What’s her name?” Hotch asked.

“Lola. Lola Danielle Reid.” 

“Welcome to the BAU, Lola.” 

[walkerwords]

“The Unimaginable” - Shane Walsh x F!Reader

GIF CREDIT: http://gph.is/2dJNy3i

Summary: Follows the after and before of when you and Shane lost your only son to the cruelness of the new world and how anger turns to forgiveness. 

Word Count: 5246

Warning: Death of a child, gore, description of death of a child, blood, angst

Song I Wrote To: “It’s Quiet Uptown” by Hamilton Original Cast

Note: Okay, so this idea came to me after I was thinking of some kind of imagine with Shane. I just so happened to hear this song from Hamilton and I got...sucked in. I have never lost a child, but this is how I see the reaction from both parents. Please don’t read if this is something too difficult. Thank you. 

--------

After

When the world ended, you weren't alone.

Running through the fire-lit streets, your family was there beside you. Your husband Shane, and your son, Logan. Instinct had taken over and all you thought about was protecting your boys.

Then, you had found the quarry. You were finally safe, Logan was out of the line of fire, and Shane had gotten both Lori and Carl out of the terror that was the city. The Walkers were sparse and when they did show, they were usually alone, maybe three at the most, and they would be taken care of quickly.

Logan was older than Carl by a couple of years but still, the boys were the best of friends and looked out for each other. Just as their fathers were, they were partners through and through. And just like Lori was to Carl, you were Logan's protector and nothing was going to take your baby away.

At least that is what you told yourself before the Dead began to rise.

Nothing was certain anymore. Not safety, not life, not even having enough to eat. You had to be alert every second of every day. Logan was in your sight, or Shane's, at all times of the day. When you and Shane went for water, Logan was to stay with Lori while Dale and the Dixons watched for Walkers. It was a clear system. One that worked.

Until it didn’t.

Everything around you seemed too...cold. You wondered if what you were feeling was how the Dead now felt. If they could feel anything at all, that is. The world around you was dull, lifeless, and nothing seemed to want the sun to shine again. 

Rain clouds rolled in the distance as you crouched in the damp dirt next to the camp. People, your new family, wandered throughout your homestead, carefully watching you as if they were waiting for you to crumble into dust and bones. 

The only thing you could hear was a muffle of voices and the occasional branch that rustled in the cold wind. You couldn’t remember the last time you slept, let alone ate and you were starting to wonder if anyone could still see you. Or had you truly become a part of a dying world, too lost to see and understand?

Looking up at the sky, you were thrown back into the memory of the worst day of your life. One that changed your world forever and one that you never thought you would see.

———-

Before

Logan was adjusting to the world as well as could be expected. 

He played with the other kids, helped out when he was asked, and never once complained about living in the woods. He had grown closer to Carl in the time since the first Dead began lumbering through the streets. They were as close as two young boys could get while not being brothers. 

He played in the water with Shane, laughing as his father dunked him over and over, trying to get all the dirt and mud out of his hair. Sometimes, when you watched the two of them you could try and imagine that you were on some odd vacation. Maybe there wasn’t actually a virus spreading like wildfire and one day you would be safe again. 

However, the fantasy never lasted very long. 

It was late in the afternoon one day when you couldn’t find your son. You had been with Daryl Dixon, helping him clean the game he had brought back for the group. Daryl was a quiet one, but you preferred that. He didn’t expect you to talk and you were grateful for his silent company when he offered it. 

Once you had finished with the deer, you went in search of Logan. The last time you had seen him, he had been with Carol and Andrea down by the water, helping with the laundry. Amy had been showing him how to skip rocks unsuccessfully. You have called his name and he had waved back, grinning broadly. 

That was the last time you had seen your boy smile. 

Walking through the camp, you checked every tent and in the RV, looking for Logan. “Dale?” You called up to the man on watch. 

“What can I do you for, (Y/N)?” Dale asked. 

“You seen Logan lately?” You asked and Dale shook his head. From his spot on top of the RV, he put his head on a swivel, searching the area, but he couldn’t spot the dark curls of your son. The same curls his daddy had. 

“Sorry, girl, don’t see him,” Dale said and something twitched in your chest. You kept searching for him, but still, he was nowhere to be seen. 

“I think he’s with Shane,” Jacqui said as she folded a couple of shirts.

“What?” You asked.

“I saw him following after his daddy when Shane went to go get more water,” she explained, but you were already shaking your head. 

“No, he knows he’s not allowed to leave the camp. Not even with one of us,” you said, looking around, starting to panic. Logan knew the rules. There wasn’t much that you had to explain to him in the new world, but one thing always remained the same: stay at the camp. “Logan!” You yelled as you did another turn around the camp.

“Logan!” You yelled again, but his voice never returned. It was only a few more minutes that the sound of Shane’s car reached your ears. You ran to him as he got out. He looked at you confused. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, reaching for you.

“Where’s Logan? Is he with you?” You asked, leaning over to look in the car, but it was empty. 

“Baby, what are you talking about?”

“I can’t find him and Jacqui said he went with you to get the water,” you explained in a rush. Shane’s face changed then from confusion to instant worry. His eyes flicked around the campsite and then he began shaking his head. 

“He….he…” Shane stuttered. 

“What?” You asked, trying to get him to focus. 

“He tried to come with me, but I told him no. I told him to go back to you. He was only a few yards from the camp, (Y/N). He was supposed to go right back,” Shane explained. You stepped away from him, your hands shaking.

“He didn’t,” you told him, “I was with Daryl and he was supposed to stay put. I thought he was with Carl or Amy this whole time...oh my god.”

“He was supposed to come right back,” Shane repeated.

“Then where the hell is my son!” You screamed at him. Shane just kept shaking his head as you yelled at him. Just then, you felt arms wrap around you as Lori appeared and tried to get you to calm down. 

“Shh, it’s okay, we’re gonna find him,” Lori said in your ear, but you pushed away from her. Carl was standing a few feet away and he looked just as worried as you felt. Shane looked at Lori and she at him and something felt...wrong.

“I can’t...I can’t breathe,” you said, your hands going into your hair. “Logan!” You yelled, but again, only the wind answered. Andrea, who stood by the fire, watched on with worry. She then looked over at Daryl and then nodded her head towards the woods. 

Without being asked, Daryl picked up his crossbow and then unceremoniously grabbed his brother by his collar and dragged him towards the woods. Merle cursed at his younger brother, but followed him nonetheless. Whether he admitted it or not, Merle liked Logan and Logan liked him. 

You turned back to your husband, staring up at him with wide eyes. “Find him.” He didn’t answer you and instead grabbed his gun and quickly went in the opposite direction the Dixons had gone in, Glenn followed quickly after, holding a baseball bat. 

Feeling frozen in your own body, you collapsed by the fire. You knew you needed to get up and do something, but your legs wouldn’t cooperate. You tried to remember the last thing you had said to your son. Was it, “I love you” or did you just simply say his name? It was all a blur in your mind. 

You felt the eyes of the rest of the camp on you as you sat there. Carol sat not too far from you with Sophia in her arms and Lori kept Carl close to her as well. Watching the mothers with their children had you snap out of whatever trance you had been in. 

Before the Turn you had been a Park Ranger. You knew how to navigate woods and you damn well knew how to kill Walkers and track. Getting to your feet, you went to your tent and grabbed the gun Shane had given you, his backup service weapon. Clicking off the safety, you grabbed a knife and slipped it through your belt. 

You ignored the looks from the others as you followed the path the Dixons had gone down. Daryl was the better tracker, but you could track almost as well and it didn’t take long for you to find their trail. Growing up in the woods of Georgia, the brothers knew how to stay hidden so you didn’t expect them to show themselves. 

Walking among the trees, you kept your knife at the ready. Everyone had quickly learned that sound attracted the Dead like a moth to a flame. You rarely used the bullets when it was just a couple of Walkers.

Stepping around another corner, a slow-moving corpse appeared through the trees, stumbling towards you. You didn’t hesitate as you rammed your blade into its skull, kicking it away from you. Looking down at the monster, bile rose in your throat.

There was fresh blood on its mouth. 

“Could be a deer,” you said softly to yourself, but then you saw something sticking out of its rotting ribs. Kneeling down, you grasped the handle of the knife that jutted from the Walker’s torso. Pulling it out, a silent scream came from your mouth. 

It was Logan’s knife. 

You and Shane weren’t comfortable with letting Logan handle a firearm just yet. Rick and Shane had always said once the boys turned fifteen and they wanted to learn, then they would teach them in a controlled setting. You had given the knife to Logan shortly after you reached the quarry. It was the one you always carried as a ranger. 

He never let it go. He said it was as if you were always there to keep him safe. 

Gripping it tightly in your hand, you struggled to your feet. “Logan?” You rasped out, unable to call for him. Every word seemed to die in your throat. Looking past the monster on the ground, you could see a blood trail. 

If you weren’t looking for it, it wouldn’t look like anything, but you knew what blood looked like. Especially when it was from a wounded animal. “It’s a deer, it’s a deer, it’s a deer,” you repeated as you pushed on through the trees. 

Blood was speckled through the leaves on the ground and smeared on a nearby tree trunk. Placing your hand against the stain, it was still warm and not yet congealed. Your hand fell to your side as you walked on.

Ahead of you, a fallen tree lay between two dying oaks. Blood was splashed across the top of it and as you moved closer, something was behind the trunk and it wasn’t moving. 

“A deer,” you said again, your feet moving on autopilot. “It’s...it’s a…” your voice petered out as you reached the trunk and looked down. 

There was Logan, your baby boy, covered in blood, and his chest was torn open.

Wailing echoed around you as if Banshees had come to take your soul. It took you a few moments to realize that you were the one screaming. Falling towards your son, blood coated your hands and your clothes. The sound called the Dead near, but you couldn’t care about them as your baby’s vacant eyes stared up at the canopy, his right hand still curled as if he was holding his knife. 

“No, no, no, no,” you repeated over and over, trying to reach for him, but you didn’t know where to touch. Low growls echoed around you as two Walkers staggered toward you. You looked at them through the blur of your tears. 

Suddenly, the first one dropped, a bolt protruding from its head. It didn't take long for the next one to fall the same way. Out of the trees came the Dixon brothers and when they saw what was before them, Daryl turned to his brother in shock.

“Get Walsh,” Daryl said to Merle who turned and ran, calling for the deputy. Daryl approached you slowly as if trying not to startle a mother bear with her cub. His eyes were on Logan’s body, carefully monitoring it. Some people changed within minutes, others took longer. “(Y/N),” Daryl began, kneeling down to you. 

“I found his knife,” you said, staring at nothing in particular. “He tried to kill it, Daryl. He missed the head, Why wouldn’t he go for the head? We all taught him to go for the head, right?” 

“We did,” Daryl assured you, trying to take the blade from your hands, but you pulled it against your chest.

“What are you doing? This is Logan’s,” you said, defensively. “This is Logan’s, you can’t have it.”

“Alright,” Daryl said, putting his hands up. “We need to step back, alright? Just a bit, girl.” You looked at him, confused. 

“Why?” 

“Because Logan is…he’s hurt and we don’t want him to hurt anyone else,” Daryl tried. 

“My son would never hurt anyone,” you said, staring back down at his face. “He’s an angel.” Reaching out slowly, you gently pushed his hair back. “My soft, beautiful, angel.” Daryl watched on with concern, but also ready to pull you back at a moment's notice. 

“(Y/N)!” Shane’s voice called through the woods as he and Lori ran towards you, Merle just behind them. 

“Walsh!” Daryl yelled as he stood. Shane stumbled as he approached, his eyes widening at the sight. Shane looked at Daryl and then back at you and then down at his child. His knees buckled and Daryl caught him before he could hit the ground. “I need ya to listen,” Daryl said, trying to get the deputy’s attention. “We gotta move him away from her.”

“That’s my boy…” Shane said.

“I know,” said Daryl. Shane pushed away from him, walking towards you. 

“I found him,” you whispered as Shane knelt next to you. “I knew I could find him.” Shane reached out lay his hand over his boy’s face and then he was sobbing. 

“Oh god,” he cried, falling over his child, his only son. “My boy…” Lori was crying too and Merle and Daryl were watching the whole thing, not knowing what to do. “I’m so sorry, Logan,” Shane cried. 

“Why wasn’t he with you?” You whispered and Shane looked at you in surprise. “Why didn’t you protect him? Shane? Why didn’t you protect him! Why is he….why was he here and not with you? Why? Why!” Shane tried to grab onto you, but you shoved him back. “No!”

“I’m sorry, baby,” he cried, his tears still flowing off his chin. “I thought… He was supposed to come right back.”

“You killed my baby!” You yelled, pushing him back again and Shane took the hit as he continued to cry. 

“We have to move him,” Shane said, but you were shaking your head. You went to argue when movement caught your eye. Freezing, you looking down to see your baby looking back at you but without those warm brown eyes of his.

Instead, they were milky white. 

A ghostly hand moved towards you as Logan reached out, but before you could take his hand, Shane had wrapped you in his arms. “No!” You screamed as he hauled you away. “No, no! That’s my baby! Logan! Logan!”

“It’s not him anymore, baby, it’s not him,” Shane said as he gripped you tight. You screamed in his arms, trying to fight back, but no fight was left in your bones. Shane kept pulling you away as you watched Merle lean over your boy. 

“No!” You yelled as the older Dixon pulled his knife. Lori followed the two of you, keeping your view of Logan blocked. Shane sobbed in your neck as he lifted you up into his arms and walked you away from your child who was being put to rest for the final time.

————

Nobody spoke to you as you sat on the edge of camp. 

Shane sat next to you, unable to move, let alone speak. Everything in his world had just gone out like a light. The way Logan had looked so...broken on the floor of the forest. He felt hatred rise in him, all of it directed at himself. How could he have let this happen? Logan was gone because of him.

Sitting there, you could hear the quiet sobs of your husband, but they did not fully resonate with you.

Why was crying? Had something happened? Was someone hurt?

It took your mind a while to catch up to your body as you too, were sobbing silent tears. You followed the path of your tears as they rolled off your face and onto the material of your pants, leaving small dark spots behind. 

You began to wonder if a person could ever run out of tears. Was that possible? You couldn’t be sure. You did know, however, that when a person cried a lot, it was important to stay hydrated. Looking down at your waist, you searched for your canteen, but it wasn’t there. 

Dried blood was stuck to the side of your shirt and you gently grasped the ruin fabric in your fingers. It felt like a strange paint, one you weren’t sure you would choose to paint with. 

Looking back over at the camp, you could see the others glancing over at you and Shane who sat with his back towards your companions. You didn’t know much longer the two of you sat there before you heard the familiar tread of Daryl and Merle’s boots. 

Daryl entered the camp and approached you. In his arms was your son. His face was covered, but you could see the tuft of dark hair sticking out of the blanket Daryl had wrapped him in. The younger Dixon gently walked towards you and Shane and placed Logan before you. 

“I’m sorry,” Daryl said gently before turning away to go wash the blood from his hands. 

Your son’s blood. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, only staring at the space right above him. Shane, however, moved closer to the body, laying his hands over the wool blanket as if he could feel the life that was no longer there. Shane’s cries turned from silent to hoarse chokes of emotion. 

Keeping your eyes on the same spot above Logan, you couldn’t look at him or your husband. You didn’t know if it was anger you felt or guilt, but right then it was too overwhelming to bear. Logan’s knife was still in your hand as your thumb worried at the handle, feeling the smooth wood against your calloused skin. 

The sun began to dip over the hills and Shane got up. “I’m going to walk the perimeter. Make sure no more Walkers get through,” he said, though you weren’t sure you actually heard him or whether he knew that he had said anything at all. 

Shane walked away, picking up his gun and you stayed put, still keeping your eyes on the horizon. The cold set in rather quickly and shook your bones. Your breath was visible before you, but you couldn’t move and anytime you shut your eyes for more than two seconds, all you could see were the milky white eyes of the creature that had become your son. 

It was well into the night when Glenn approached you, a blanket in his hands. He gently placed it around your shoulders, making sure you were wrapped up tight before leaving you alone. 

You knew you should eat something, but you couldn’t feel the hunger either. You couldn’t feel anything. 

When Shane returned, he sat down across from you on the other side of Logan. “(Y/N),” he called, but you remained frozen. “Please, (Y/N), look at me.” 

This time you did and what you saw confused you. You blinked multiple times, but the man in front of you did not look like your husband. This Shane was a shell, something had gone out in those eyes of his. A flame that could never fully burn again. 

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, hearing the crackling of the fire in the background. “Shane,” you whispered, your throat dry as a bone. 

“Logan,” Shane began, sending a rush of ice to your chest, “he needs to be buried, sweetheart.” Finally looking down, you stared at the bundle that was your child. You reached a hand out, but pulled it back at the last second. It didn’t feel right to touch him.

Not like this. 

“He’s supposed to be in a cemetery,” you whispered into the night. 

“I know, Darlin’,” Shane said. 

“He’s not supposed to be buried in some unmarked grave,” you said. “He’s not supposed to be buried at all.” Shane crawled over to where you sat and pulled you into his side. You barely felt the weight of his body as he pressed a kiss to the side of your head. 

“This is all my fault,” Shane said into your hair. “I am so sorry.” Dropping your head, you once again couldn’t look him in the face. Why hadn’t he walked Logan back to the camp? Why was he alone? Why had he gone off without telling anyone? Was he looking for you?

“If…” Shane continued, “if I could switch places with him…” he trailed off again and then was silent. You didn’t want to hear anymore. Not after today, today was too much already. 

Though, you did agree on one thing. Logan needed to be laid to rest.

———-

Dawn brought light and neither of you had moved, but you knew it was time to get up. You knew you would mourn for the rest of your life, but Logan deserved better than being wrapped in a makeshift shroud before his crying parents. 

You found a quiet place far from where the incident had occurred. Close enough to the water, but not too close that someone would accidently ruin the ground. 

Shane dug the grave alone. Lori had offered to help, as did Glenn and Morales, but Shane had said no. He had to do this on his own. You sat next to Logan’s body, listening to the breeze, his knife still in your hands as you used it to cut away at a piece of wood to keep your hands busy. 

As soon as Shane had finished, you rose to your feet. The others from the camp approached you both, offering a moment of silence as Shane bent down and lifted Logan into his arms. Carefully, he placed your son in the ground, adjusting the blanket to keep his face covered. 

Looking down at him like this, you were reminded of when he would play in the blanket forts you and Shane use to build with him. The one time he had gotten trapped under the roof of one and claimed to be a ghost, chasing the both of you around the house. 

You could imagine the smile on his face when you had tackled him on the couch, laughing. Shane had followed up with jumping on both of you as he used his best impression of a “scary monster”. Logan had laughed, slipping off the couch and telling Monster-Shane that his daddy was a cop and he fought monsters.

You had watched on with a grin from the couch as your boys wrestled on the ground. Shane as the monster and Logan as the cop. The moment had ended with a massive pillow fight that you had successfully won, and the prize? Hearing Logan’s laugh echo throughout the house. 

It had been music to your ears. 

Tears flowed again as you turned your face to the heavens, letting the memory wash over you with warmth. Slowly, you picked up a handful of dirt and sprinkled it over the grave. 

Soon after, Shane did the same. “Goodbye my sweet boy,” you whispered to him and then one by one, the rest of the camp began filling in the grave to say goodbye to the laughing boy with the dark curly hair and the goofy grin. 

You and Shane sat nearby, not speaking and not touching. The Walsh family was now fractured and nobody knew what to do about it. The others had pity and any time they would look at you and your husband, they were reminded that the new world would not stop taking until it had stolen all the light in the world. 

As the dirt was smoothed over and the shovels were put down, you stood from your spot next to your husband, passing your new friends in silent. You ignored everyone as you kneeled down on the soft soil, pressing your hands into the ground. 

Logan was finally at rest.

———-

After

Coming back into yourself, you shook your head as the memory once again settled in the back of your mind. 

Logan had been buried for some time now and whether you chose to acknowledge it or not, you and Shane were still not quite...whole. 

There were days when you never left his grave. Grass has slowly grown through the surface and the rain has made it the color of emeralds and while there was no marker, you knew exactly where your boy was. 

Lori was kind as always, bringing you water if you needed it or offering to help Daryl with the hunts, but you continued to shake your head. You had always helped Daryl clean his game and you weren’t going to stop now. 

Logan wouldn’t have wanted that. 

Carl Grimes was the one, however, that constantly checked on you. You could see how much he missed his friend. He had many nightmares that would wake you up in the next tent over and then you would hear Lori’s soft voice coaxing him back to sleep. 

Carl would sit with you by the grave and draw or just listen to the birds and the wind. When it was time to eat, he would convince you to finally take some food and wouldn’t leave until you proved to him that you were full enough. You had always liked the kid, but now? He was one of the only things that kept you together most days. 

Shane was trying to give you space as he was still mourning in his own way. Shortly after the makeshift funeral, he had drowned himself in responsibility. He took on more watch shifts than before and went on more water runs too. He had become the group’s main protector, next to the Dixon brothers, and it was clear to everyone that he was doing it to keep his mind busy. 

As for Daryl, he had just gone on a hunt that would last at least until tomorrow. He was going to see if he could find any larger game and decided to go alone. He did, however, ask if you were going to be okay while he was gone. You had assured your friend that you could handle his absence for a day or so. He had rolled his eyes and offered a small smile and then left with his bow on his back.

Looking out over the quarry, you heard footsteps and you didn’t need to turn around to see who it was. 

Shane joined you on the ground, leaning back on his forearms. “Glenn is heading out with some others for a run,” Shane said. 

“In the city?” You asked, keeping your eyes forward. 

“Yeah, I guess they’re takin’ Merle this time. T-Dog isn’t thrilled,” Shane sighed. 

“Are you going with them?” You asked. 

“No,” Shane said and then paused. “Did you want me to?” It was silent for a moment before you shook your head. 

“No, we need you here,” you whispered. Shane sat up straighter, folding his legs beneath him. You could see him out of the corner of your eye as he looked over at you, trying to see your face. 

“I don’t know how many more times I can apologize, (Y/N),” Shane said after a moment, his eyes void of tears now. “I can’t stop thinking about that day and if I had just let him come with me or taken him back myself… I don’t know how to stop wondering about what I should have done.” 

“He was stubborn,” you said. “He would have found a way to follow you anyways.” Shane’s mouth fell slightly open at your words, not expecting you to defend his actions. 

“It should’ve been me. I should be the one lying in the ground and if I was, then he would be here next to you and you would be smiling.” 

“No,” you shook your head, finally looking at him. “I would have Logan, but I wouldn’t have you. Do you honestly think I would be happy about that?”

“He was your baby,” Shane reasoned. 

“And you are my...you are my person, Shane. I would never wish you to die, no matter how angry or sad I am. Never.” Shane let out a breath, letting your words sink in. He nodded silently. 

“I had thought about joining in on the run,” he admitted, “but I’m staying right here. I’m not going anywhere.” You returned the gesture and looked out at the grave again. 

“He’s gone, Shane,” you whispered, your fingers playing with the grass. 

“I know.”

“He would have liked it here, don’t you think? It’s so quiet.” 

“Yeah, he would have,” said Shane. “Baby, I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I need you to know that I never…” he once again let the words fizzle out, staring down at his hands. 

Slowly, your reached over and placed your hand on top of his, touching him for the first time in a long time. Shane froze beneath your touch and then just as slow, laced your fingers with his. 

“Please don’t leave me,” you choked out and looked back at him, a desperation in your eyes. Shane shook his head and then leaned in, kissing you softly. You let it happen, finding peace in the feel of his lips on yours.

“Never, Darlin’,” Shane whispered. “I’m never leavin’ you.” 

Curling up in his arms, the two of you sat there in the shadow of Logan’s grave, trying to feel the presence of your boy. Looking down at your boots, you noticed a small stem pushing its way through the emerald-green grass. The beginnings of a wildflower. 

Staring at the start of new life, you leaned against your person and you smiled.

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