#I should probably add the whole context to this to explain it…

[kcciny]

The love between Gawain and my Father should be studied

[johnnie-guilberts-eyeliner]

Pls I love this idea sm thank you anon!

[I probably won't be answering asks in order, I'll most likely just do them as the ideas come to me, but I'll try to get them all done!]

Johnnie X Fem!reader (she/her pronouns used) (and jake and tara are still dating here!)

Context you and johnnie have been dating a little over two years. You live w him and Jake webber.

Today you wake up in your shared bed with johnnie, him still sleeping. You turn over and watch him sleep peacefully, not trying to be creepy. He's just genuinely so beautiful in his sleep and he looks so peaceful. You tuck a strand of his hair behind his pierced up ear and kiss him. This wakes him and he kisses back sweetly and passionately. "Good morning sweetheart" you greet him as he groggily tells you "good morning y/n" before smiling at you and kissing you again. Just then your closest friend in LA, tara yummy (also a fellow youtuber) Burst through the door yelling "ITS NEW YEARS EVE BITCHES, WERE GOING TO A PARTY AND YOU WHORES NEED TO GET READY" she laugh yells at johnnie and you before blowing yall a kiss and leaving the room to get yourself ready. Leaving you and johnnie to laugh for a moment before getting up and starting to get ready. You decide on matching outfits. Johnnie is wearing a white dress shirt, his pinned black leather jacket, black pants with white designs, leather boots and chain for his pants and his normal black eyeliner and eyeshadow. You are wearing a cropped white band shirt, with a short black leather skirt w a chain, fishnets, heeled leather boots, and a black leather jacket with studs and spikes on it. You both have your normal rings and other jewelry on. You straightened your hair and curled a couple pieces before doing your normal makeup/eyeliner with glitter. You snap a picture of your matching new years outfits and post it to your Instagram story. You both walk out of your shared room to find jake and tara ready to go and sitting on the couch. "OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS LOOK SO GOOD AAAH IM OBSESSED" tara squeals as she snaps a picture of you two sends it to you. You laugh before telling her "thank you boo, you look mighty fine today as well i should add" you look at tara as she does a little spin and laughs. Jake watched the interaction and says to johnnie "what's the point of having girlfriends if they just flirt w each other" they both laugh before starting to walk out the door. The girls following suite. Jake's driving, Tara's in the passenger seat with you behind her and johnnie behind jake. "So who's hosting the party this year" you ask jake as he drives. "Sam and colbys this year, since we went to kian and jcs last year" jake says keeping his eyes on the road, then hooking his phone up to the aux and playing a random playlist.

*timeskip a while later*

Everyone is enjoying themselves at the party drinking, smoking, vaping and generally just vibing. Johnnie is by your side the whole night with his fingers intertwined into your fishnets and a drink in the other hand. You and johnnie get many comments and compliments on your matching outfits which makes your heart flutter.

*another timeskip*

Your now sitting on the couch with johnnie next to you. Your leg swung over his, one of his hands on your thigh and the other holding his jack and coke. You take your hand and pull his face to meet yours, pecking his lips. He responded by pecking yours again. Just then you get a text message notification from tara and it's a picture of you and johnnie, literally 2 second ago, kissing. You look up from where you are and see her smiling directly at you two before flashing a thumbs up and continuing doing what she was doing.

As midnight approaches you and johnnie observe everyone getting drunker and drunker, like jake and Kian are currently fighting over a cupcake. Couldn't explain how or why that's happening but it is. You watch the time and see that it's 5 minutes away from midnight. Everyone gathers in the living room with their drinks and/or smoking / vaping device and start counting down. By this Point you and johnnie are now stood up, side by side, hand in hand in the crowd of people.

"5..." they start counting down

"4..." as each second goes by johnnie inches closer to you, his drank sat down somewhere he'll probably forget.

"3..." his arms creep up your thighs to sit comfortably on your waist and he holds eye contact with you

"2...." his gaze is so intense as you snake your hand to hold his face and the other to lay comfortably on his shoulder

"1..." you kiss each other with such passion and love as the countdown ends and all the drunk and high people are cheering and throwing confetti and glitter everywhere. You and johnnie stay kissing for a while longer than you intended. Allowing tara to snap yet other picture of you two, sending it to you again.

After the countdown, people almost immediately start leaving and piling into their cars and ubers. You took Jake's keys hours ago because he's way to drunk to drive and so is tara. Johnnie helps lead the drunk jake out the door and to the backseat of his car, a drunken tara following who is just mumbling and rambling on sits next to jake in the back, laying on his shoulder when she gets in. Johnnie then joins you up front in the passenger seat, pecking your lips before buckling his seat belt.

*yet another timeskip. Youre now at you, Jake's, and Johnnie's. *

You decided tara is spending the night bc she's too drunk to function on her own. After taking care of the drunk couple and making sure they get to bed, you and johnnie resign to your shared room where you both quickly change clothes and crawl into bed together. You laying on Johnnie's chest.

"Happy new year my love" you tell him as you kiss him "happy new year pretty girl" he responds before kissing you again and cuddling into you. This is the way you both end up falling asleep. Which you couldn't be more happy about.

(Lmk if you enjoyed and happy new year everyone!)

[takemebacktowheniwassane]

i've been seeing a lot of falsettos posts recently deconstructing the fandoms beliefs and firstly

holy fuck thank you, i try to steer clear of fandom (and fandom-izing thereof) drama but this is getting a lot more visible recently so here's some little tidbits for you

whizzer brown is not an unflawed character!

okay so i haven't seen enough dissecting this but!!! in the chess game!

the whole point of marvin using that game to determine the ending of their relationship is because he suspects whizzer is constantly deceiving him and wants to prove it.

whizzer LITERALLY proves him right!

he asks marvin to help him along (yes i know he says he doesn't want help, hear me out, it's a little more complex than that) and takes advantage of the fact that marvin is- like- infatuated with him.

he draws him into a sense of false security then starts throwing accusations at him ("since you need a man!" "what?" "who's 'brainy'," "or witty, move.") until hes able to win, which he does with ease because he's been using marvin having this idea that he isn't smart against him.

of course, marvin's side of this isn't the best either but honestly, for once the fandom should focus on a different character when they think 'insane asshole'. typically we should also probably change our perspectives a little to be more unbiased cuz fr guys, this is getting really.. annoying.

i understand he's the most visibly flawed but that doesn't excuse constantly picking the worst parts of this musical (without other context, btw) to use against him.

and this post certainly isn't here to excuse anyone either i've just got a lot of opinions that i wanted to share while falsettos is.. trending? right?

2. marvin's (headcanoned but still somewhat researched) autism

this one isn't brought up as much but when i do see it around, it's kind of a skewed viewpoint.

while rewatching bits of the proshot i realized a lot of different neurodivergent traits that he shows-

he's helpless during I Never Wanted to Love You and is childish and regressive when he's upset (not every autistic person is like this either, i know this is a bit of a touchy subject so i just wanted to add that).

usually when people depict it i see it either toned down or joked about which is fine when all in good fun, and when its done respectfully.

not here to attack anyone, just here to point it out and say that yes :) he most likely is neurodivergent, but despite that his actions aren't condoned. he's still kinda a dick who needs to get his shit together

3. ..the lesbians also have shit going on?

just putting this out there- I DON'T SEE ENOUGH FOR THE LESBIANS! OR TRINA!

the girls in this musical are like thoroughly neglected and i think that's kind of shitty just assuming the fact that william finn put them in to demonstrate how gender roles put people in degrading positions (and he even makes it more prevalent by showing marvin as something like a misogynistic character who forces whizzer into more feminine roles to show the audience what woman have to/had to go through in society).

anyways, the lesbians aren't just there guys. they have a plotline too. in Something Bad is Happening, you derive a lot from charlotte singing about the outbreak of HIV/AIDS and realize how she operates on a daily basis (she's passionate about her work and takes every bad day as a hit to her life and career, explaining in a way that as a black, jewish, lesbian, FEMALE doctor in this time, everything that goes wrong is immediately brought down on her so much more than it would as any straight white male pharmacist-).

cordelia on the other hand has to handle the fact that her girlfriend is so adamant about her work ethic that she can't actually be super present in their relationship at times like that.

but either way she still sticks by her and is constantly trying to be supportive and endearing despite feeling like she's not amounting to her gf who's basically a hero in her eyes.

i kinda just wanted to bring that up because they mean a lot to me and they don't get enough love from the fanbase, thank you for listening to my TED talk <3

[archivalofsins]

hey, do you remember if mikoto/john ever made any comment about the viewer's opinions? fuuta outright tells the voices to shut up, amane acknowledges them when fuuta asks her about it, and mahiru mostly just feels like her thoughts and love are being rejected. i dont think mikoto/john ever even acknowledge the viewers thoughts about their situation outside the double mv and vd, and even then that could be about what es thinks about them and not the omniscient viewers.

They do!

It's one of the things specifically highlighted by Milgram and Yamanaka within his tweet about Mikoto's voice drama. Through the fact that they recognize and view what Es has deduced through Milgram as valid.

To keep it short. Mikoto references the audience opinions in these instances.

This has been editted to get rid of spellings errors and add more context. Editted on 02/28/24. (There were so many spelling errors to correct don't know if I got them all. I added so much more quotes from the timeline and interrogations and tried to adjust for tone.)

"Eheheh... But...it's not coming to an end. All of this. With things I've never even heard before, the whole ti- The whole time... Haah... I have to see through all of these irritating experiences...!" (Doesn't directly reference Es just that things now feel like they never end. Along with things he's never even heard before.)

"As for alters... Why do you think they're born?" (Specifically asking Es how they think this works instead of divulging any information he's heard from the audience that would in fact be beneficial to Es who after being asked immediately shows they don't know a damn thing about it. Staying consistent with what happened in Amane's voice drama prior.)

"Right. You're decision to not forgive me is especially stress inducing." (Recognition of the punishment attached to the guilty verdict working properly for Mikoto and that's adding to his stress. So, yeah he's hearing the voices.)

"You know that because of Milgram! I don't care about the law, I want to know what you think!"

His birthday interaction from last year. (Him asking if there's really another him implies, he has heard the audience bring it up.)

His birthday interaction with Futa after his verdict.

21/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday) Mikoto: ……ah, Futa? What’s up? Did you come to celebrate my birthday? Futa: Hah!? Like I care about your birthday. ……what’s up with you, though, you’re usually a lot more excited. I thought you were the sort of idiot who’d make a big deal over your birthday. Mikoto: Yeah, usually that’d be the case. ……I think I must be getting tired. It’s like I’m anxious over something but I can’t really explain what it is…… Like, the feeling that I’ve been totally wrong about something. Haha, but it’s not like talking to you about it is gonna do anything. Futa: Yeah, yeah, just like you say. Talking to me about it isn’t gonna help. ……but, it’s not like I don’t get what you’re saying. Or rather, I understand exactly what you mean. And if it’s the same thing as I’ve been feeling, then it will just get stronger as time goes on…… probably. But anyway, rather than talking to someone like me you should go and bother the others. Go and get showered with their stupid birthday wishes.

Also, the fact that Mikoto's entire defense for his actions pivoted from I don't remember, and Milgram probably got the wrong guy by mistake to the other one did it. Which not much different from the excuse he gave before but was an excuse widely jumped on and presented by the audience after he was called out for faking for a good period of time and being bad rep. Well, to say the least- It puts a different meaning behind this line,

"“He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"

Since it encapsulates what his first trial was like in a nutshell. Where people either called him out for faking/lying or blamed the alter for all the violent acts making him out to be the scoundrel. People even posited that what we see in MeMe is fake because it's far more graphic than the others and cuts and that this could be due to him having DID and lookie here.

In fact Mikoto's mental footage was so violent... "It's unforgivable." That was my judgment. "That too could be just a fake or attributed to multiple personalities, right?!"

Overall Mikoto, like many of the prisoners, does not state what the audience has told him. However, he heavily implies through his actions he's been told something. What that something is we don't know and given his first verdict percentage he would not be as inclined to tell us as the others would. Hell, even then a lot of others don't tell is. We were never shown what innocent does to a person outside of this from Mu.

21/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday) Mu: Yuno. Don’t you have something to say to me? Yuno: Huh? To you? Me? ……ahh, uh? Your birthday, right? Happy birthday~ Mu: How mean…Since it’s my birthday, I really wish you’d said something before I had to come and tell you myself. Yuno: Right, right, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful in future~ Later! Haha… things have become even more of a bother… ……so was that Mu-chan’s real personality, then? It’s probably because the guard did something, right?

But yeah, since you were just asking if he referenced the audience outside of his voice drama and music video there's no need to read the rest here. What comes after this basically goes over how I tend to tell when the prisoners are subtly referring to the audience and other things but it's very long.

Now onto the interesting stuff. Because I wrote this before rereading the question and seeing you were asking about things outside of the voice drama and song. So, I'm leaving it.

Mikoto discusses the audience in the way similar to how Mahiru does. Never referring to the audience or the voices as an individual entity or directly instead either referring to that as Milgram collectively or referring to it as an extension of Es' actions and decisions.

Even in Double and I Love You neither of them refer to a big group of people but go "You".

"What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”."/ "“He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"

Unlike the rest of the prisoners who refer to multiple parties, Mikoto and Mahiru couldn't give a damn less about who is causing them problems and considers the audience, Es, and Milgram all the same entity. Never really separating the three. Because they don't care to.

Other prisoners that do this are Haruka, Shidou, and Kotoko if I'm remembering correctly.

"I will definitely make you love me again."-"Hug me again as you once did."

"You don’t even know yet, and yet."- "What do you mean INNOCENT, if this is my punishment... Now I see, this world is cruel and merciless. The vote that negates the option of death, the love that won’t perish."- "No thank you, it’s none of your concern."- "Shall I fulfill your request and elect to live."

"That's why I became your fangs."- "Tell me why you tell me, “Stop'. Don’t you dare stop now."

Kotoko and Shidou do something interesting in their second trial songs having parts where they both directly refer to Es and the audience separately within their songs. Referring to Es at the beginning and then the audience in the second half.

"I want to be INNOCENT, I want to live. So this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me? That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable. The correct answer, I don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable."

Shidou Trial 2 Voice Drama

"But... as long as Milgram continues in this direction. We won't be able to save those who get injured if I'm not forgiven." ...! "Even now, Shiina-kun is in a condition where any digression could be fatal. She can't live without my treatment. If I'm not forgiven she will end up dying."

Just want to highlight how Shidou uses the same tactic as Mu but somehow what he does ends up succeeding and what she did doesn't. A lot of people may think that's because none of them asked to be put in that situation and Kotoko was the one who attacked. Yet, my honest response to that would be what the fuck is actually stopping Shidou from helping if he was guilty?

Like prisoners who were Guilty once can still move around and interact with others and the things around them. Unless one is assuming that the punishment for being guilty trial two is worse than one. Something I don't believe would make sense and would not be fair considering this would just simply for many of the prisoners be their first time being guilty. Although, this is Milgram so maybe who knows.

Even in a situation where the trial two punishment for being guilty is harsher than trial ones; what the fuck is stopping him from teaching or instructing someone else within the prison on how to help if he were restrained? He even said Amane could be assisting him and Yuno has been. He's very replaceable, actually. So, it's wild this worked.

As we will get into it is wild any of them are getting away with what they are.

He also doesn't say this as if it will change later. Instead he literally states that Mahiru now just can't live without his help which given injuries should not be true. Yet considering that she hasn't been getting better over the course of trial two honestly yeah, I guess he's right.

That's... true I suppose. "From now on conflict between the prisoners will probably become more frequent."

Dude why the fuck does he say this??? Like no I'm being serious why does he fucking say this? Especially considering last we heard from Haruka in his second trial voice drama Shidou and Kazui were meant to have been negotiating a ceasefire? This sounds like something an individual about to start a conflict would say. A person about to throw down if you will.

Like what the fuck does he know in regards to this? The most good faith interpretation is the ceasefire negotiations have failed. Yet, it's still a weird thing to just add. Especially since he says conflicts between the prisoners. Implying that people other than Kotoko may end up instigating fights.

Even though most of the other prisoners are simply attempting to mind their business and he's the only one who directly states hostility towards Kotoko in various ways.

Others that state having animosity towards someone are

Yuno,

Q.11 Which of the other prisoners do you get along with least? Yuno: I wonder. The ones that are painful just to watch are Haruka and Mu-chan.

Futa,

Q.12 Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with? Futa: Can you not tell by looking at my face? Obviously Kotoko.

Mu,

Q.12 Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with? Mu: Yuno has been really cold lately so maybe her a bit.

Shidou,

Q.06 Do you forgive Kotoko? Shidou: No. I can’t forgive someone for trying to achieve thing with violence.

"To extract that fang, now."/“That’s why I became your fangs.”

Oh, and he has some feelings on Mikoto as well.

Q.07 Are there any prisoners you get along with? Shidou: Kayano-kun has become like that, and I can’t spend my time smoking at the moment, so the smoking trio has disbanded, which is a bit lonely.

What those feelings are beyond me. However, he speaks of his current disposition as though it's a problem. So, I'm putting it.

Kazui,

Q.06 Are there any prisoners you don’t get along with? Kazui: To be honest, probably also Kashiki-chan. It feels like she sees through all the things I don’t want anyone to notice.

Amane,

Q.06 Are there any prisoners you don’t get along with? Amane: Kirisaki Shidou.

and Mikoto,

Q.12 What do you think about Kotoko? Mikoto: I don't like her.

It makes sense that we the audience would know whom everyone is hostile towards. Especially since we just blatantly asked in some written interrogations. However, it's not as though many of them have been presenting their hostility towards each other openly.

Outside of Amane and Kotoko everyone else attempts to be cordial with each other or just outright avoid people they dislike. So, it's still weird he would know this unless he's really good at reading the mood and paying attention to others.

Something he has not shown himself to be. Though, maybe he really is. Still considering he has two individuals he'd could possibly have an issues with this really sounds like some shit somebody who wants start trouble says.

"If I'm not there... They will be in even more danger!"

Bitch you will be there- Guilty or not. You're not getting out of this panopticon any earlier unless you see yourself out buddy. Where do you think you go if you're guilty? The sunken place? You gonna mentally tap out because of the guilt and constant bombardment of being told you're wrong by the audience?

Other people who have been Guilty before you with no warning of what that mental or evironmentally entailed were still able to help and speak to others while suffering under the affects of said verdict. The child did it grow a backbone man! You're an adult and apparently you hold a lot of stake in the fact that you are... So, at least make it make sense why you do with your actions.

In case Shidou has forgotten we have a third trial. So, he's just being a fucking manchild here. Does he think we're gonna kill him immediately after he's voted guilty in this second trial out of three? Does he think as soon as the guilty verdict hits Kotoko is going to attack him? That's the most reasonable and good faith interpretation of this statement.

Like she did attack guilty people that's a fair concern to have. Yet, he's currenty being guarded. Because now that an attack has happened once the others are more on guard.

As Yuno implied would be the case,

Q.09 What do you think about Kotoko’s attacks? Yuno: Is she an idiot? Nothing’s going to change in the world if you just act out violently where everyone can see.

If a person just acts out violently where everyone can see most people will reasonnable recognize that person is apart of the problem too. They won't usually assume they're the solution to anything. Plus again the fact that other people were guilty before him and he knows what that could reasonably entail he should be preparing for that possibility. It's clear that he wants to avoid it by any means and is doing his best to do that.

Which I can't fault the man for that's only natural. But-The fuck is Shidou's second voice drama fearmongering 101?! Why the fuck is he acting like this towards the end?

I bet you're thinking Gunsli is this your first time listening to Shidou's voice drama and honestly yeah it is.

This man is in here like what will they do without me. Despite the fact that a majority of viewers have pretty much agreed the child can take him out/is a serious threat to his safety. At the point the previous statement is widely considered a genuine concern true if anyone wants him dead outside of himself in this facility he is going to die. Because we know that from the beginning Shidou has wanted this all to end and to get the death penalty.

That he's been smoking to be unhealthy,

20/08/04 Mikoto: By the way, why did you two start smoking? For me it was just a means for communication with people at work. Kazui: Hm? I don’t really remember……It’s maybe changed nowadays, but in the past it was just natural for everyone to smoke. What about you, Shidou-kun? Do you remember? Shidou: ……I wonder. I suppose…… I just wanted to do something that was bad for me. Mikoto: Ahh, I kinda get that. It’s like eating instant ramen in the middle of the night.

So, he came into Milgram already trying to get out of life in general. So, he can't threaten himself like Haruka can. He's still gunning for that death sentence even now.

"The scale tilts to and fro, I yearn to be found “GUILTY”."

The only thing he can do is what he's always done used the lives of those around him to excuse his actions and validate his own existence.

"But it tilts towards, find me “INNOCENT”. If the voices crying out in pain, can be saved by me- Allow it to be my charge and mission."

Like I don't know why he came in here acting like this verdict gonna make him someone he ain't and never was. Like man you couldn't even take care of your own- You want us to leave you in charge and responsible of even more people. People who have no reason to have to listen to or take him seriously. People who don't even like him.

Meanwhile Shidou's kids in Triage out here looking like they need Yusuke Urameshi not Shidou Kirisaki. What will they do without me? Man I don't know probably have a better grasp of road safety. You know just spitballing some guesses here.

He came in here really pretending to be the guy and for who? Himself because he's fucking weak and emotinally immature. He can't handle the mental stress of a guilty verdict, he couldn't even handle his own social relationships when his wife was alive,

Q.19 What was your partner like? Shidou: A strong person. I tend to be a bit careless in my personal life, so I was always relying on her.

or taking care their kids after she either died or got ill.

Like listening to the end of his second trial interrogation is legit hearing him hype up his own importance. As though he's going to be a meidcal doctor on the frontlines of a war and voting him guilty is equivalent to immediately killing him in front of a bunch of injured civilians. Halting people from getting aid. When that's not what's occuring here at all!

He's still going to be in Milgram and he will still have another trial. Like maybe he thinks that's what's occuring because of Kotoko but that's even weirder. Because there are more people against Kotoko's actions in the prison than for them.

One of which is fucking Kazui who is already guarding him.

Shidou... "I need to be punished... But I also need to stay alive or young lives will be lost."

Oh, Shidou you're such a martyr.... Pushing to the side your selfish desire to die because you're sick of living with yourself, your own failures, and the fact that the things you worked towards weren't the benefit you thought they would be and instead a massive failure-

Q.15 Do you think you’ve made a contribution to society? Shidou: I used to think my work was a contribution to society.

All because you've found something that validates your existence again. Something that,

"Tells me, the reason it’s ok to be here."

Again I need to highlight we're not fucking killing him with this verdict. Telling someone what they did was wrong is nowhere close to comparable to murder. Also, Kotoko can attack prisoners whether they're innocent or not. Jackalope's brought up that the prisoners are allowed to attack each other during the intermission all of them regardless of verdict.

Unless they're physically restrained and thuse made unable to they can still do it. Plus some of them are shown in full restraints within Undercover still ready to attack somebody if needed. It's not like she is completely bound to acting in accordance with Milgram's rules as has been highlighted before.

22/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday) Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time. Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you. Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets. Kazui: Oh, how scary. That girl truly is frightening. ……well then, I wonder what the guard will decide to do with me. That’s the one thing I really can’t make out. Honestly……

Yet, throughout his second trial voice drama he keeps subtly pushing this idea that not only will Mahiru die if we vote him guilty but he will too. That not even really touching on the fact the one to bring up a death sentence or execution as a result of the trials to begin with was Shidou.

He brought it to this point and is now lamenting about it being there like oh what should I do.

"I... I don't know what to wish for anymore. I'm starting to think that I want to live. That I want to be forgiven... Despite being so riddled with sins...! ..." Shidou... Do you remember what i told you? "..." Back when you were still fine with dying at any moment, I told you to deperately want to live. "Punishments for sins exist in the first place because we have an attachment to life. your existence in itself is a sacriliege to Milgram and myself", I said. "Yes... I remember." And now, finally, you've gotten attached to life and finally become a real prisoners of Milgram. That's what I believe. You wanting to be forgiven and your wish... Those are the steps that now represent you. "...That won't do... I musn't be forgiven. Otherwise... the countless lives I've taken will never be paid back." Heh. If you're really trying to give up your life as compensation for the people you've killed, then there's no reason to stay alive that will hold up anyway. "..." Don't face them with a life that you're so willing to throw away.

Es greatly sums up the main issue with Shidou's logic.

He is ready and willing to die.

Yet, all the people he killed weren't. Usually people seek medical attention for help, because they want to live. Because they're in pain and they don't want it to get worse. Thesse are people who are trying to survive and seeking out what they believe is the most appropriate help for either themselves, a family member, hell even a stranger on the street if someone calls an ambulance.

It's incredibly tragic when help doesn't get there soon enough but it's down right dispicable when the help is there and decides no you'll die today because I feel like it. You understand what it's like to have to take in order to give and I need to take from you to give something to myself. We're all suffering and you know some people like myself deserve to suffer less than others so this is just how it has to be.

Since that's the case-

"You're in my way...hurry up and die."

I see no difference between this and this.

"Please, go ahead and die already."

Excpet one of the people making this sort of statement puts a lot of stock in being a mature adult and never acting childishly. While the other is at least emotionally honest about their mistakes.

Why did I bring all of this up? To highlight a key difference between Shidou's voice drama and his song. Es never rebuts Shidou for saying he's the only one that can help or calls what he's doing a hostage game.

Making it more than likely Shidou is referring to the audience and the voices he heard discussing his case or something from his real life given the quotes around the phrase. This is more than likely something Shidou has said in reality or had said to him. I lean more towards the first interpretation when it comes to viewing these put in quotations lyrics as direct snippets of quotes from statements the prisoners have said but I'm not that committed either way.

The point is it highlights that he's not just referring to Es here,

"I want to be INNOCENT, I want to live. So this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me? That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable. The correct answer, I don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable."

He's instead speaking past Es and directly pleading to the audience or voters.

Which is the same thing Kotoko does here-

"So, make yourselves my reason. Just choose the only choice, GUILTY. Say that sympathy is useless. Hate evil as the evil that it is. Don’t you dare stop now. I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it. Give me the next target “UNDER”."

Notably not stating that she became our fang before that but leading into that again. These lyrics (along with the prisoner 011 line in Kotoko's case) recontextualizes the entire song as a direct plea to the audience with allusions of concern towards Es. Mostly merging the two and going if you're on good terms with me I'll be on good terms with all you and your proxy if not things could get messy.

This showcases that they all see no difference between the audience, Es, and Milgram like stated before.

The ones who are more direct while referring to the audience are Yuno, Futa, Mu, Kazui, and Amane. Instead referring to multiple parties through their songs or one.

"I’m the one who chose, let you and you and you all in."

Yuno mentions two others before stating she let "you all" referring to the audience in.

"Don’t get cocky, you in that cypher."- "Tolerate, impress those spectators."- "This prison hosts ears and lethal eyes, I’m sick of it. You and you, throwing around rules for fun, hoisting up morality and feeling good. Should I succumb, make your wish come true? Full of yourselves, are you?"

Futa seperates the prison host from the audience the spectators. In a way showing off that he views Es as an entity hosting an event and the ones spectating as the actual entity he needs to impress or sway to his side. He's basically going if the audience likes me I'll be fine.

"So, it’s wrong? Oh shove that! INNOCENT, isn’t that right?"

It's a personal dislike of mine. People who act based on their sexual urges like that, that is. "It's personal?" Yeah. That's right. "That's strange. I did think that, despite being neutral as a warden you did have some things you dislike, but..." ... "Isn't it unusual to openly reavel a personal dislike as a personal dislike?" You're splitting hairs. "Seems like you really disliked my crime... I get it! Maybe it's because you're so young... Which is to say... ..." Hah? Stop staring at me so openly. It's disgusting. "..." ... [Es punches him]

Honestly warranted he is making fun of Es for the same reasons Jackalope did in Es' voice drama. Being a bit green behind the ears. Which is never fun. So, of course after that the first thing Es does is do the same thing to Amane in her interrogation after this.

... Now I feel better. "-Ow! What are you doing all of a sudden..?!" It was an instinctive reaction. Don't take it personally. "Would you stop just punching me in the face without any hesitation? ...huh Anyways... That's how it is, huh? That's how it is...?"

Kazui stating "That's how it is..." highlights that he does take note of Es' personal feelings. He not only does that but seems to take a moment to mentally compare them to what he's been hearing from the voices over the course trial one. Really honing in on the fact that Es says them disliking Kazui's crime is a personal thing.

Meaning that Kazui knows full and well that Es' personal opinion does not matter when it comes to the verdict and may have concluded as such. Something made even more clear by his second trial song opening with him telling Es to just go shove it. Fuck off get that nonsense out of here.

Kazui literally forgoes Es' statements on his actions from his second voice drama at the jump of cat like oh well the guard said it was wrong but fuck that- Innocent is the right answer. It's the conclusion you all came to the first time so.

Double down. Hence the-

"Lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade. Lick that sin and oppose punishment, until you can meet the king of the masquerade."

The only allusion to Es in Cat is,

"So it’s wrong? Oh shove that!"

This is because Es has already said they personally dislike Kazui's crime or people who act based on their sexual desires. Meaning if Kazui's crime is that of a sexual nature trying to sway Es on seeing it any other way is pointless. So, he no longer has an interest in convincing Es his behavior was okay. Plus he's not even really concerned by what the audience themselves have assumed or figured out. Something alluded to through how comfortable he in while singing Cat in comparison to Half.

Amane's is rather straight forward as well. Considering her song starts with direct recognition of the audience/spectators going-

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! It’s the beginning of a most wonderful day! However, there are blasphemers and silent by-standers, who would have it otherwise. We must not give into them, they are the ones that should be judged." - "I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed."

These are the only references Amane makes to the audience and Milgram. Literally going those who agree with me you know what to do. Those who don't well we can't give into those people now can we!

Then there's Mu,

"I am innocent as everybody desires."- "We are just the same. Don’t you think it’s wonderful to control them with my gentle sting?"

Mu compares how what the audience is doing is no different from what she has done. So of course it only makes sense she'd be Innocent. Then specifically speaks of Es after. The one who is also controlling people with their gentle sting. (This statment does apply to the audience as well. Since we're impacting the prisoners through the press of a button a gentle sting/poke. )

The lines calls attention to the emotional and psychological abuse Kotoko points out as being just as bad as what she's doing in her voice drama. Something Es also brings up as a factor in Mu's case during you guessed it her second voice drama.

When Mu says she never really hit anyone herself and Es goes yeah you just had other people do it for you.

"I haven't bullied anyone! I'd never do such a mean thing!" ... "I've never once hit anyone or poured water over anyone's head. I wouldn't do something like that!" ... "I'm not lying. I'm not being dishonest! I really haven't done anything!" I see. I'll take note of that.

Just like Kotoko did with Es. Saying just because you never hit anyone doesn't mean you haven't caused harm or incited it to occur. As Es attempts to highlight they never really used excessive physical violence/took it as far as Kotoko did with the prisoners. Despite the fact that they have hit them and impacted some of them just as negatively as Kotoko has.

Even more so from the admission of Mahiru in her second voice drama.

"I mean it. It doesn't hurt. Compared to the way I felt when you chose not to forgive me... Not at all." ...! "Not at all... Nothing. None of it hurts. It's not...as big of a deal. Ever since, I've constantly been hearing...voices saying I couldn't be forgiven. Yours? Whose? I don't know... I don't know, but... I've heard them this whole time." Mahiru, calm down... "Was what I did such a bad thing? I just... had a normal relationship like everyone else...! That's all I did! Why can that not be forgiven? Hey, why? Why? Why?"

Kotoko's second trial voice drama does well to follow up on those similarities It's Not My Fault, Bring It On, and Backdraft highlighted between the prisoners and those who watch Milgram. The same mentality to jump into something that is quite frankly no one other than the parties involved business just to turn around and blame others when things get bad.

Later

"Ah- But if you don't forgive me, then Haruka-kun will die. So, I think it'd be best not to do that." ...! So, you've heard about that nonsense, too? "Mhm! Haruka-kun told me. So, I could rest easy according to him. That made me happy... It made me really feel our friendship!" You know about it and you're not trying to stop him? Haruka, that is? "Why would I? Haruka-kun says that's what he wants. So, there's nothing I can do, right?" But you're calling him your friend? "Isn't it exactly because he's, my friend? Isn't friendship about letting your friends do the stuff they want?" ... "Are you planning to tell me, "That's not what friendship is."? Then, what is it? It's about sticking together because it's beneficial for everyone involved, isn't it?" I don't think Haruka is benefitting from that at all. "No way... It's not like you'd know what's good for him." ... You sure are tough to beat. "I really don't get what it is you're trying to say, Warden-san. Haruka-kun is free to decide what he wants, and I'm not doing anything wrong. It's not like I asked him to do that!" I see. So, that's how it is, huh. You don't say anything; just because you're present, the wishes of those around you evolve to benefit you- Oh, so that's it. Like, a born queen. No, it's as if you're influencing your surroundings not with words but with pheromones... Just like a queen bee. "Pheromones...? I'm not sure what you're going on about but I'm not a fan of that lewd-sounding stuff." That's not the nuance i was talking about. "Either way there are prisoners much more deserving of not being forgiven than me. So, I think you should focus your energy on those guys instead. Like, Kotoko-san has been up to no good, for example. Ah, but what she did was approved by you, wasn't it?" ...You're making my blood boil. "Anyway... I think you would do good to forgive me. Then Haruka-kun will be safe, too. Ah, actually- Couldn't you just forgive everyone? Then Kotoko-san won't run amok, and you won't have to think about all the difficult stuff." ...That is...a very enticing proposal. "Right? Hah, hehehe." Abandoning all thinking... How nice it would be if I could just do that. "...If you ask me, I don't really get why you don't do it..." Because this is the role I'm playing! "But this role was giving to you, wasn't it?" ...! "You didn't end up doing this because you wanted to, right? It's not a dream you've had for a long time or anything, Warden-san? So, there's no need to let it tie you down. Couldn't you just quit?" What are you... "Warden-san- We call you warden, because that's what you are, right? And I wa sassigned the role of prisoner, but that doesn't mean I'm now nothing but a prisoner at heart, too. After all, I'm still me." ...! "Are you okay warden? Are you feelings sick again?" Haah...haeuahh... "That's because you keep thinking too much about difficult things." ...Gyh!... Haah... "Just stop. Being the warden, that is."

Es brings up that Mu is emotionally manipulative. That she hones onto any weakness to exploit in those she dislikes and makes herself look small so those around will feel more inclined to help her. Through her voice drama, like many of the other prisoners, Mu uses the same tactics that got her into Milgram to begin with.

From her first voice drama Mu is well aware that Es has issues when it comes to thinking about themselves outside of their job as prison guard. She recognizes it as a trigger which she willfully exploits in an attempt to get her point across better.

Then despite saying what Kotoko did is no concern of hers and since it was approved by the warder it'd be wrong of her to disagree with it earlier in the same voice drama her tone changes a lot near the end.

"Huh? But that has nothing to do with me." What? "The ones who are suffering are the ones who have done bad things right? You know, like, what goes around comes around?" ... "Besides Kotoko-san hurt and was mean to the people who you chose not to forgive, right?" ...Yeah. "Wouldn't it be weird for me to have any thoughts on that, then? After all, I didn't do anything wrong. You forgave me!"

Yet, suddenly when the idea that she might be viewed as in the wrong later comes up Kotoko is running amok and is a prisoner more deserving of not being forgiven than her. Because Mu as she has always done puts targets on other people to avoid being singled out herself. Then to add insult to injury she directly contradicts what she says about friendship and it being letting the people around you do what they want.

By continuing to badger Es into quiting being a guard and stop taking the role so seriously. Because Es taking their job seriously does not benefit Mu. It puts her at risk of being singled out and votes guilty later down the line. So, it's better if they just drop it.

If they don't/can't she has no issues, or qualms making the situation more difficult for them by poking at weak spots until Es-

If you want to betray from jealousy I’ve told you what’s gonna happen.

What's the point of highlighting all of this? Why include all the others when this is just meant to be about if Mikoto references the audience over the course of trial two.

Well, to be completely honest this isn't about them.

Even though at times this seems to be about the others. They're only being used as examples of how I analyzed the information provided and discerned through my own perspective when the audience was being referred to, how it was being referred to and why.

It is just easiest to explain that method over the course of all the prisoners and build up to Mikoto.

It just so happens that this may stand out more overtly with Mu than any of the other prisoners. Because of how consistent a character she is. Like she states in her voice drama no matter what labels external forces put on her, inside, in her heart she will always be Mu. She, like all the other prisoners, isn't changing and has no desire to change.

Their only desire is to escape punishment and gain social power and influence by any means necessary at times.

This is important with how they refer to the audience and the entities they choose to suck up to. Many of the prisoners have recognized being nice to Es just does not matter long term because they are just a proxy. They don't have much power or influence over how the prisoners are viewed.

Sure, it's good to get along with them for images sake during the interrogation but ultimately how well off they are with the guard doesn't heavily impact their verdict.

Yet, as long as they aren't outwardly and overtly malicious, they can get away with harassing Es if they want to. Mu's whole thing is making it appear as though she had no malicious intent or at least if she did it was a warranted response to the circumstances. She's just a victim, an underdog biting back. It's not her fault people were mean to her, but she doesn't just have to take it on the chin and wear it.

She has a right to protect herself after all she was-

"Having such a hard time." and "Trying so hard."

She was at a point where she couldn't take it anymore. Her heart was all dried up and her sorry spells weren't working.

Mikoto is the same way throughout his voice drama.

A mix of Mu and Mahiru's behavior. Basically, they're all passive aggressive about it. Dancing around the point instead of tackling it head on.

Not really elaborating on what they've heard but more so implying it through their emotional states and responses.

"If you just laugh and pretend, usually things will work out in the end right?"

X

"I'm pretty good at that! Making things work out to the best of my abilities." Is that so... "Eheheh... But...it's not coming to an end. All of this. With things I've never even heard before, the whole ti- The whole time... Haah... I have to see through all of these irritating experiences...!" You emerged, huh. "Hey. Looks like you haven't received a beating yet, Warden brat." ...! ... "Hah? What, are you scared?" Like you didn't get beaten by Kotoko...! "Heheh... That was just because she caught me off guard. We went at it again while you were asleep and it's not like i lost there."

Mikoto in his second voice drama similarly to Mahiru and Kazui does not willfully give Es or the audience information. Instead questioning Es on what they believe and what they saw.

"As for alters... Why do you think they're born?" In precise terms it's called, Dissociative Identity Disorder. Generally speaking it refers to when a person experiences severe pain or stress, and a new personality is created in order to isolate the original personality from the resulting trauma. "Yeah. I... probably come out to ease the stress I experience."

It's important to note that Mikoto (John) is not speaking in past tense here but present tense. So, he's not stating I emerged in the past in response to the stress Mikoto was experiencing. He's literally saying I'm coming out now to ease the stress he's currently experiencing.

Subtly calling to attention that Milgram, the verdict and the audience voices are causing Mikoto stress and he was brought out to handle and relieve Mikoto from that.

Even elaborating after that-

"The fact that I come out for longer just means that I'm constantly under extreme stress."

Again highlighting the negative impact Milgram has had on Mikoto's mental health and wellbeing. Yet also calling to attention that Mikoto (John) doesn't have a clue about what the source of the stress is. Just that Mikoto must be stressed for him to be here. Saying that just means and going off the fact that he's here at all to discern that.

Them asking this at least confirms again that they both recognize the audience as well as Es at least know Mikoto has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Something Mikoto states he's heard from the voices on his birthday as well.

The fact that he's questioning if there's really another "me" on his birthday means he more than likely heard that from the audience. He doesn't really get the chance to broach it in his voice drama or doesn't broach the topic.

Yet it is made abundantly clear before that occurs that Mikoto is aware due to the voices he's heard from the audience. So there's that as well.

All this makes the moment after this particularly interesting.

Stress... Namely, the environment of Milgram, right? "Right. You're decision to not forgive me is especially stress inducing. That's why I'm entrusting me with my heart." I see. "Not like I can blame myself. From my point of view, I'm being blamed for a crime I can't even remember." If that's the truth, then... You're the one who committed the murder? "Yeah, it was me. I killed them off." ... "So, I, Mikoto really didn't do it." Can i ask... Why you killed them? "They annoyed me." Who did you kill? "Just whoever was walking around nearby." ... How many did you kill? "Can't remember I was just born back then, you know. It's kind of fuzzy."

Just whoever was walking around-

In this empty ass back alley looking underpass in the dead of fucking night. Okay, Lil' Slugger. I believe you.

I too walk around in the dark of night to secluded spaces with no public foot traffic and a loud passing train that would mask not only my screams but those of anyone else around this is true and reasonable. It's something we all have to do we can't control where our homes are located or find other safer alternative night routes at times. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do and people like Mikoto are there.

Sometimes you have to walk up to or past a suspicious ominously posted up stranger that definitely doesn't look in any way to be waiting to initiate a hit. That's not something any person would want to avoid in the middle of the night on their walk by all means. I would have seen you like this and went whelp fuck my house is that way... Aw, damn he's either gonna kill me or I'm gonna get home but I gotta walk that way. Better start praying and speed walking.

I ain't even a religious person but I need something to have me right now.

We already made eye contact. I saw him see me. That was my first mistake. Can't get out of it now. Whelp, I have the perfect song for this. I'm such a fucking disappointment. Oh, this route will be shorter there's not many people on it! We'll get home faster. Now I'm about to die.

I would be so pissed to die because this guy was just what fucking waiting to hurt somebody. What the fuck man pick up a contact sport and put the bat down!

Think I was fucking around when I said okay I belive you well ha ha; no. I wasn't. I don't believe this is the truth in this instance. However, I one hundred percent believe this is some city shit. The fucked up thing is what he just said isn't unreasonable like that shit happens there's senseless violence all the time. That doesn't make it better he really went on the mic and said,

"I killed someone because it really was just one of those days, I'm quirky like that. I didn't even know them. Didn't even know their name. They were just annoying had those hit me with a bat vibes you know."

Like dude fuck you that's not better. That's substantially worse actually. I'm sorry this has nothing to do with the question. It's just... Rewatching Mikoto's second voice drama is a trip. One second it's like if you did do that for the reason you stated then you're kind of just objectively the worst person here and continuing to vote you guilty would be better.

He just admitted he just does this shit to relieve his own stress and it doesn't matter who he hits. It's not personal in any way. Does having a hard time and demanding job excuse that? I don't think it does. These were all people to his own quick and flimsy admission had no connection to him. Never wronged him, hell they're strangers whose only crime was walking near him.

Yet the child who killed their abuser is barely treading water while he's here coasting-

That's fucked up! The fanbase did Amane Momose dirty and it really just seems like it's because she's a child. Because these fucking adults be acting hell of childish and they are not getting as much heat as this twelve year old has. Be better. The fuck type of defense is this. He really came in here and said,

"I felt like it so I did. What's the problem?"

Then a majority of people went alright go off he's such a victim- Of what nepotism, marginally good looking priviliege?! Being shippable and okay to sexualize leading to people liking and projecting on him more than a twelve-year-old?! Because all of those things are actually helping him a lot if you take a step back to think about. Like if you take in the image in full he's doing quite well now in comparison to the shit start he had.

He literally said I killed just because they annoyed me. I didn't even know them and people went I do not dee the problem with that. Go off king people do be annoying. If you don't want to die don't be annoying in public. Being annoying death penalty actively abusining your child for years and killing a cat come on Amane jumping to murder due to that was a bit of leap wasn't it. Like even if your religion said so sweety killing is bad.

Because the truth is if he was Amane's age and gave the excuse that was given here it wouldn't be working. It would be giving repeat offender energy he would need to learn a lesson. He would be hiding behind his disorder.

Even though Mikoto (John) may only be admiting to committing the murders to cover for Mikoto which I'll go into again later... I'm mostly highlighting this to go this should not have made him be more favorably viewed. Like people really just ignored he said that shit.

Yet, then other times in the voice drama it really sounds like listening to your friend lie about the disorder they have blatantly and without restraint to get out of something they simply did not want to do to begin with. To an individual that is woefully underinformed about how the disorder works. Which is me saying it's fucking hilarious. It is absolutely amazing. He should keep doing that actually.

It's not Mikoto or Mikoto (John's) fault that people are ignorant when it comes to dissociative identity disorder and stereotype people that have it. He should take advantage of what aids him. If that's the ignorance of others in this age it takes ten seconds to start researching. No one has to teach anybody in the real wold except teachers and they ain't paid well for it.

We gotta figure it out on our own. He is in jail he doesn't owe society or anyone in that jail shit especially the truth and he isn't giving it.

Mikoto (John) goes me fronting longer has allowed me to stabilize which probably isn't good and means Mikoto the prisoner is disappearing. That is not typically not how Dissociative Identity Disorder works. I don't know why anyone would want to present it as though it does work the way Mikoto (John) is purporting. He's basically saying that alters are born at random and are immediately violent.

This is a a very weird and stereotypical way of discussing and presenting people with DID. That has led to the demonization and stigmatizing of the disorder. It's not like it can't happen people can have violent alters but usually they're responding to a trigger not just being violent towards uninvolved parties or just lashing out at anyone while outside of stressful situations.

Plus, alters can go dormant but that doesn't just happen due to someone else fronting. They can also be integrated. Everyone is different though. So, maybe that's just how this works for Mikoto. Though, alters do disappear for a bit that happens as well. So, why is Mikoto (John) acting like Mikoto's gonna die?

It's difficult for me not to question how this was phrased, especially given what others have pulled over the course of trial two. A good deal of trial two has been prisoners going well if you vote me Guilty someone else will disappear/die- So, you should just like find me innocent. It's that easy find me innocent and everything will be fine.

Like these assholes have genuinely forgotten they are in here because someone has already died. They really be out here like I will certainly take a life but it won't be mine. Do as I say not as I do. Violence is bad and we wouldn't want to hurt anyone let's all just get along.

Where was this Barney ass logic when you were giving people head-on collisions with bats, knives to people's chest, committing malpractice. Like none of these people have said there's no reason to take a life because they've all fucking done it. Just that there's no reason to take away their lives. At least with the people who have brought that sort of thing up.

Isn't that sort of fucked up? That all of trial two a good deal of prisoners threatened the audience with the idea of someone dying as a result of the audiences' actions. Completely ignoring, downplaying, or evading the fact that someone has already died because of their actions.

Instead, it's about reducing harm in the present suddenly. Yet they weren't thinking about reducing harm when they did what they did. Maybe reducing harm to themselves. Then when their victims come up they get real quiet suddenly. Unless it's Shidou or Mahiru who immediately turn it around and make it about how the victims deaths are impacting them.

How it's making them feel bad.

Even ignoring all of the emotionally questionable things presented here and over the course of trial two. Pushing that to the side and just taking the voice drama by itself.

It's riddled with contradictions. For example, this statement

"Evidently, the time I've been fronting has been getting longer. So, this "me" has been able to stabilize. Isn't that the reason we can talk properly?"

Let's again ignore the fact that you were working and taking the fucking train before Milgram. Something that is not only expressly shown in your music video but corroborated by Mikoto's own testimony that directly conflicts with seeing you on a fucking train,

Q.12 How do you travel to work? Mikoto: Road cycling. It’s one of my hobbies, and it’s good exercise too. The fact I don’t have to worry about making the last train can be both a blessing and a curse.

Meanwhile in clown town where the alibis are shit and keeping a story straight is dead.

Q.17 Do you smoke? Mikoto: Only electric. I used to smoke real cigarettes in the past, but since I started my job I’ve stopped.

Like they even change the tote bags they carry so one has the color we fucking have had associated with Mikoto (John) and the other doesn't so the person taking the fucking train is more than like Mikoto (John).

Not even adding to the fact Mikoto confirms that he's the one who works at night in his fucking first written interrogation through this answer-

Q.06 What do you hate? Mikoto: working overnight / reptiles / violence

All things that appear or are alluded to in MeMe. Either from the tarot cards or expressly shown like with the images of him returning home.

Ah, man it'd be a fucking shame if on top of all that there was canonical merch that showed Mikoto vaping after the murder or holding an e-cigarette.

Certainly no one has that and the staff wouldn't provide us with something so damning because they like to keep things up to interpretation and it's not meant to be solvable. It's about how we all view it, view it in our hearts through our feelings.

Meanwhile the third anniversary art coming in with a steel chair.

(Something I brought up way before, along with the idea that the art from the third anniversary is in fact the prisoners after their crimes. Even getting this merch to check more closely. )

Oh, Holmes I'm absolutely stumped at what this could mean. Surely this is still just Mikoto (John) too. It could be no one else. Mikoto is an honest innocent man who couldn't hurt a fly.

All he did was dream. Except when that witty bastard plum forgot he still smoked cigarettes occasionally just a few times. Quitting is difficult, yes, even when moving over to the same thing in a different form. It doesn't mean he's a liar.

For another example, here

This is not Mikoto (John) in MeMe smoking in the tub but still Mikoto. He's an honest but confused man. Who wouldn't know or rightfully remember no longer smoking cigarettes.

Okay time to stop joking around-

It is more reasonable to recognize that they both appear throughout MeMe and Double and this is subtly displayed through their stated habits, clothing, and facial expressions. Then just ignoring the pile of evidence that shows Mikoto (John) clearly had a life outside of here too.

Along with that again to Mikoto's own admission trial one he was the one more active at night until recently. Stating with extraordinarily little prompting-

Q.20 Are you more of a morning person or a night person? Mikoto: I used to be basically nocturnal. Recently though I’ve been falling asleep pretty early.

Ignoring all of that again he's still just fucking lying.

Just because alters don't front doesn't mean they don't have a stable internal existence. What the fuck are you on about right now? Like at most I can generously say he meant it was becoming easier for him to front but this was bullshit.

This was not a good way of phrasing that. Again alters that don't front have personalities and could even have rich lives internally. So, Mikoto (John) is on some nonsense. Like he's just testing what he can fucking get away with because he knows Es is stupid and ill informed.

Every day I question how he is getting away with it when the honest answer is,

People frankly don't care to see it and that's fine.

There's even the fucking fact that Mikoto (John) directly fucking contradicts himself right after stating this.

"Evidently, the time I've been fronting has been getting longer. So, this "me" has been able to stabilize. Isn't that the reason we can talk properly?" ... "If I had stayed a monster maybe that would've been better. ...What?" You've turned out to be much more rational than I expected... I'm surprised. "I'm a university graduate after all."

Alright, Mikoto (John) which the fuck is it?

Have you only recently been fronting enough to stabilize leading to you being able to communicate properly or did you front for all of fucking college?

You were at least aware enough of it to consider yourself a college graduate. So, what's the truth? Huh which fucking is it?

"Can't remember I was just born back then, you know. It's kind of fuzzy."

I am once again asking how you fucking remember college Mikoto (John)?! Yet, were just born back then?

Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room-

The threekoto or trikoto theory.

Because some people may want to say if you take into consideration the existence of a third unknown alter than all these inconsistencies can be explained, Gunsli. This is what all those inconsistencies are hinting towards, it's the perfect explanation you're just choosing not to see it.

Yes, I am choosing not to see it that way.

Yet that's not only because it doesn't bring me any narrative joy and subtracts from it. It's also because I view that concept as a cheap fix-it solution where a new factor has been shoved into the narrative in order to account for things within it that could be logistically explained by other means. There's also no actual evidence to this being the case.

One could rightfully say what about the inconsistencies you just pointed out though.

Those could simply be explained by a fact that Milgram has brought up since the beginning of the series-

The prisoners can lie.

If the prisoners who are under more restrictions than Mikoto (John) still have the freedom to lie why are people assuming Mikoto (John) isn't lying as well? Especially when being faced with an unknown, dangerous situation, in which he's been threatened with the death sentence? Like wouldn't the reasonable response to such an odd situation be to keep your information yours alone. Not willfully give it to an entity exerting power over you?

So, the inconsistencies found here very well could be there to hint at what exactly happened once all the information is examined together.

Though, let's be serious for a bit.

Let me walk down that bridge with anyone who wants to go there? What's the actual probability that all the information that they gave us-

Including naming the songs,

MeMe and Double.

Along with willfully adding this fucking very overt line,

"Doesn’t matter if you didn’t wish for it, can’t get rid of me now. Just the two of us, relieved, aren’t you? I’ll protect you (us)."

Are all actually statements meant to mislead the audience and both Mikoto and Mikoto (John) are being honest about not remembering the murder and this third more recently born alter is the actual murderer. Because given that statement on the crimes and Mikoto (John)'s admission that yes, he is a college graduate, the lyrics in Double pointing out we made him out to be a scoundrel-

In my opinion that would be the most reasonable conclusion to draw if I were to believe this is true with the information we've been given so far.

Even if that were the case and all of these other things were red herrings.

These would all be objectively the worst red herrings in existence. Because that isn't a red herring it's a fucking school of them. Grab a fishing rod and get to it. This is past the point of being considered a red herring and instead would be more aptly described as a series of overt lies.

You know a good red herring is when people can actually figure out it is that and there's evidence in canon alluding to that being the case and what is commonly accepted as truth being disingenuous. I'm not the biggest Steven Universe fan nor do I hate it passionately. I'm more neutral to it.

So, let's use it as an example.

-Spoilers for Steven Universe-

In Steven Universe it turns out Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz are the same fucking person. There is art that alludes to this before this reveal. There were speculations and theories of this being the case. What Steven Universe did not do repeatedly at any point was go she's not a diamond we swear this is a normal Rose Quartz.

They didn't draw attention to the elephant in the room over and over. Most of the characters in the series believed fully that she was a quartz and had been lied to for years. It's never called attention to because it is a wildly accepted truth. So, nobody questioned it.

Yet, there were still hints this was the case enough for people to speculate such far before it was revealed to be the case. My point is red herrings are seen not heard, not repeated over and over. A red herring by definition is one misleading clue or accepted truth meant to trick the viewer into believing something that is untrue or move them away from the truth.

It's not a consistent pattern.

-End Spoilers for Steven Universe-

Then to add more insult to fucking injury why the fuck would Deco*27 say this-

This isn't a red herring this isn't even within the canon.

This is a statement he made independent of the canon. Outside of that he didn't even have to give a specific number but did anyway. He could have just said what will happen to the Mikoto's now. If they wanted this shit to remain ambiguous. Yet, he still used two unless this translation from the Milgram app is simply wrong and it added that.

It'd be weird but machine translations have been weirder.

Yet, considering everything I've seen it truly makes more sense for me to believe Mikoto and Mikoto (John) are both being dishonest for self-preservation reasons than to believe that the entire series has been lying from jump.

I just find it more likely that these two who found themselves in such a strange situation, who are vehemently trying to convince the audience and the other prisoners around them that they are honest trustworthy men are just fucking lying about a lot of provably false shit. Then as it tends to happen when someone is telling lies off the seat of their fucking pants there are many easily spotted contradictions and direct confirmation of actual truths.

Because the truth tends to be consistent lies aren't unless a person is very skilled at it. (Glances at Kazui.) Throwing all that to the side.

If the idea of there being three alters brings someone joy, then that's all well and good. I'm not trying to stomp that out or rain on anyways parade. I just don't personally want the information I discuss to be associated with that or have any interest in discussing that interpretation.

There are a lot of people who'd have a great time doing that. I am not one of them.

Because I feel using that idea to excuse the fact that the alibi, excuses, other statements Mikoto has given, and the reality of the situation through the songs extracted directly contradict each other in a way that highlights he may not be being honest is not only incredibly convenient for him but somewhat disingenuous.

This includes his voice dramas and the birthday interaction before Double premiered. Unsurprisingly.

I'm not looking for an easy fix for those inconsistencies that keep Mikoto looking infallible and like he couldn't hurt a fly. I'm not looking for something that frames Mikoto as being in the right, a good person, and a victim of circumstance while highlighting an alter as being completely bad and in the wrong always. Because that sort of story is lacking in nuances in my opinion and wouldn't be fun to me.

If that were the case it would make it feel as though the story itself was highlighting Mikoto's character having dissociative identity disorder as the reason for him being a murderer or the only thing that led to these issues occurring. Something that just doesn't feel right to me personally.

It's never like what has Mikoto done/chosen to do or how could he have responded differently or managed stress better. Nope it's always an alters fault, it's always the disorders' fault. There's no respect for Mikoto's own agency because he's a guy with a disorder, he didn't mean it, he couldn't help it, that's just how it is.

The impressive thing is how often Milgram as a series pushes back against this interpretation and simplification of dissociative disorders in general.

Then the fandom pretty much plays into this trying to tell others there's a definitive way to know if someone has it, how many alters they have, and at what time an alter is out just by vibes and speaking patterns alone.

As if dissociative identity disorder doesn't involve a shit ton of masking and trying to appear fine to avoid being singled out by others.

Milgram highlights this issue with the perception of dissociative disorder through Amane's voice drama.

Where Es literally implies that since Amane's case doesn't present the same exact way as Mikoto's and she cannot do the same things as him that solidifies to them that Amane herself cannot have a dissociative disorder. So, in Es' eyes what Amane is doing is just playing pretend by referring to herself as we and god. So, really all she is or appears to be to Es at the end of the day is a kid throwing a tanturm and playing make believe.

Well... It's in vain. So, you might as well listen to me while we're here. "I won't forgive you. I won't forgive you." Prisoners can't attack the warden. This is one of Milgram's core rules, although a certain guy with multiple personalities managed to slip past it. "I won't forgive you... I won't forgive you..." Which means Milgram doesn't dictate who the prisoners are by their body but by their mind. If the mind isn't accounted for then the rule doesn't apply. It bothers me that there's a loophole, but... "I'll kill you...! I'll kill you!" Thanks to this defective rule we can confirm this; The 'you' holding the scissors right now isn't a god or a concept. It's Amane Momose herself. "...I'll..." So, what you're doing right now really is just a game of pretending. This is stupid.

Then Amane later in her voice drama calls out Es for referring to themselves as we. Saying that Es must just be playing pretend to avoid taking accountability for their actions as well.

Es makes the very severe and common mistake of assuming all dissociative disorders present the same way and immediately has their own logic used again them. Leading them to have another crisis of identity. They're shown to have a serious lack of understanding of themselves and their opinion.

Something that from the beginning of Milgram has been shown to cause them discomfort in multiple voice dramas. Mu's first and second one, Kotoko's first and second one, and Amane's second one. This same logic could very well lead to the audience making a lot of the same mistakes as Es is presented making.

Well, that was longer than I anticipated. But, there's a lot of things about Mikoto that imply he not only heard the audience voices but took the reaction he received into account when deciding on how he proceeded.

Other than that, I've got a birthday to have. Sorry for the long answer and going much more in depth than I needed to. I also hope none of this was rude.

Though i can't really control how I'm interpreted.

[fellow-anime-weeb927]

Hii, I'm back. First off, I'm sorry about the request I send yesterday, I think? I didn't see the 'angst' under the 'don't do' 😭 🙇‍♀️but I'm back with a rant (I should pay you rent for staying in your asks this much- I can pay it with kaldo drawings 😭)

I recently checked the sons' ages and well- Doom, Fanim, Epidem and Delisaster were born with only 1 year of difference (also, the whole family was born of 11th of something- Innocent zero was a weird guy. He even shares birthday with Mash lol) and knowing that a pregnancy lasts 9 months there would be 4 months of non-pregnancy state with each of the 4 first sons (I calculated it- I needed to know if it was actually possible to pop out 4 kids in 4 years like that). Yes, they literally were born Doom-January, Fanim-February, Epidem-March and Delisaster-April (Domina was born in May, but Mash wanted to be different and was born in November 😭). There is a problem, Mash and Domina were born the same year, less than 9 months in between their birthdays. To which I can only find the excuses that, again, Mash wanted to be different and decided that he would be born premature lol (or they just speed up his birth, if mother was getting ill or her health was going down). Also, I checked how much each kid weights and I'm pretty sure Innocent zero starved them- BECAUSE WHAT DO YOU MEAN DOOM (who's 2 meters tall) WEIGHT ONLY 88KG??? THAT MF IS HUGE😭 My older brother (who's 25, 5 years younger than Doom, apparently) is like 1,80m and he weights 110kg😭 Domina (who's 1,76,i think) weights 68kg (that's around my weight, I'm 1,65± and 15 y/o). So, knowing that information I want to add that after mother fell into a coma, Innocent zero had more power over the sons so he starved them (bc before it was impossible. If they told mother that they wanted to eat, or even if they didn't, she gave them food and made sure they ate at least 3 times a day. Since she suffered a lot from starvation herself and almost every family member (all of her three brothers and her mom) died due to starvation), and it would also explain why tf Delisaster has such a thin waist.

It's also possible that, instead of her bearing the children in her womb, they just decided to mix their DNAs in an incubator of some sort. Innocent zero would say something that it wasn't necessary for her to bear them and that it wouldn't benefit neither of them, since he doesn't want for a strong ally to be unable to work for over 9 months and he read that it pregnancy can affect her health (again, that means that his ally will be weaker than before (imagine his reaction when she randomly falls into a coma after mash's 'birth'- and doesn't wake up for a long time). And mother would also prefer it by just mixing the DNAs (✨trauma✨, and probably not liking physical touch?). I'm also sure that after some time, Innocent zero would put some spell on mother just to keep her in the coma (let's say her necklaces worked only around itself and since it didn't cause any actual damage they weren't activated) so that he can manipulate the sons more. I also imagine them visiting her, maybe on their own birthdays or her birthday or just randomly showing up to check on her idk.

I also imagine that when Innocent zero is defeated by Mash and mother wakes up and gets context of everything that happened during her 'absence' (she really didn't care if the realm was destroyed since they didn't care about neither her or those similar to her), she would be mad with both Wahlberg and the divine visionaries (even though she didn't like the realm, she had some respect for Wahlberg when they were young bc he had good ambitions and she expected for him to at least try to make them reality) bc "what do you mean after 100 years the law against lackmagic is the fucking same and nothing changed? And then you dump it all onto a 15 y/o boy? Wtf" She would 100% slap Wahlberg in his face (and it's a good one, after all the sons didn't get the physical abilities from their father lol) and say that if they don't change things soon, she won't hesitate to start a revolution. I also don't know how would Mash react to his biological mother appearing out of nowhere. They would probably have a talk, at least and she would say that she won't interfere in his life unless he wants to and that he should contact Domina if he wants to talk with her or needs something from her, since she doesn't have a phone bc she was in a coma.

Also, after Innocent zero is defeated, I'm sure that the castle doesn't fall down, so as she wakes up she goes through it and sees all of her sons (or their remains) dead (Except Doom, since he did live after the battle with Mash) and she doesn't know the cause of it yet, but when she sees the 'arrows' that attacked Domina she would get the puzzle together that Innocent zero have killed at least one of her sons (she couldn't care less about the realm, but won't hesitate to hurt someone tenfold if they hurt her sons in the slightest), he would have had hurried to hunt that mf down, but tending to Doom's injuries is more of a priority at that time.

Anyway, I'm really sorry for that request, it was my bad. I would send a kaldo drawing as an apology, but I can't send photos when asking as anon🙇‍♀️ have a good time

-🎨anon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(original ask:)

A/n: dear anon you sure are discovering a whole lot oh my goodness- now that you explain the entire thing I’m like o_o I’m literally confused about the logic (but anime/manga logic am I right?-) so I’m not sure what to do about this, would you still want the ask?

[shanastoryteller]

same anon and I’m just curious—- are you a fan of barnet newman?

(even if you’re not, you write beautifully about it)

mmmmmm fan is probably a strong word, at least it would have been before i wrote the fic. i actually only knew who’s afraid of red, yellow, and blue iii before writing ta'burni, i didn't even know the print in the iron man 2 was a newman before i googled it. i sort of went backwards with this

i thought that scene of tony taking down the art to replace with iron man pop portrait and pepper getting mad would be better if it was metaphorical. so i decided that the art would be something meaningful between pepper and tony and him taking it down to replace was something pepper would see as tony putting iron man before them and everything they've been through together and tony would see it as him accepting that his legacy was going to be iron man and the merchant of death and not any sort of family he could build with pepper because the palladium was going to kill him before he got that chance. and then i googled what the print was and did some research into newman to see what i could make out of this. luckily, it was newman, so he lends himself to the sort of metaphor i needed rather well. and then i didn't even include that scene in the fic rip

that being said, i do like his work a lot, and i like what he was trying to do and what he was trying to say and how that expressed itself in his pieces. i think a lot of modern/abstract art is context reliant and now that i have context i am a fan

i'm probably about to make an ass of myself here, because i really have zero qualifications to have any opinions about art besides that occasionally i like to look at it. i haven't even taken an art history course

i think a huge barrier to people being able to really appreciate modern art is that society is heavily reliant on self contained art and it's the kind pretty much everyone has experience with. with books and movies and music, they are designed to stand on their own. context never hurts, and can add, but the understanding and enjoyment of these mediums should not be context dependent. if they are, then these works are considered bad. it's a sign of bad artistry to require context in these mediums

then there's, you know, fields and portraits and depictions of history and myth. context always adds, but you can look at almond blossoms or saturn devouring his son and you see a complete picture. you can appreciate artistry without any understanding of what's being depicted or why and knowing why doesn't even necessarily improve the experience. is almond blossoms a different piece now that i know it was intended for a nursery? to some, maybe, but to most, no.

so you have modern art, abstract art, performance art, ect, and you need context. context is half the piece. sometimes the whole piece. it's like seeing two earthlings without knowing the title and going, yeah, that's a nice painting, and then seeing the title and getting that little oh of connection to a species that's been dead for longer than humanity has been alive. and that's not even abstract art! that's a painting fully capable of standing on it's own merits even without the gut punch of context

portrait of ross in la is incomprehensible without knowing that ross died of aids. unfinished painting (1989) is something you can look at and go, okay, that's a piece of art, but without the context that it's basically a the self portrait of keith haring's life, also cut short by aids, do you really understand the art? is it hitting?

is tableu i anything more than straight lines and crayola color paint if you don't go a little deeper and go, maybe this is the start to every artist's journey, maybe this is every stray thought i corral and put into place and attempt to explain?

i think a lot of people stop at "i don't get it" and then shy away because either they think the art is bad or that they're stupid and they want nothing to do with either. but "i don't get it" should prompt exploration, it should prompt a search for explanation. not only in art, but in life. "i don't get it" in history, art, politics, science should always be the start of a journey, not a destination, but a lot of the most commonly consumed art accidentally trains people to reach "i don't get it" and give up

newman is so earnest with his work that i even if i hated every single one of his lines then i could still not help but love it

i do wish that instead of trying (and miserably failing) to restore who's afraid of red, yellow, and blue iii they had just let it hang, destroyed, all three slashes on prominent display

shakespeare's soliloquies were originally a type of call and response, because back in the day audiences were not as quiet and well behaved as they are today

the audience heckling the actors were no more authors than the guy who vandalized newman's work is an artist

however, that being said

who's afraid of red, yellow, and blue? this massive canvas of mostly red calls out

the response: three long slashes, rage and fury and fear in every one of them

claiming bravery, but proving cowardice

and it would have been better than letting some idiot go over it with a damn paint roller

[yumedoca]

Non-Urusei Yatsura fans, which of these IS NOT an actual character? (Answers)

The poll is over and thanks to all who voted since it's pretty fun to see how UY characters may seem from an outsider's POV! And since many were curious, here are the answers for the poll. The characters are listed in no particular order, except for the last who will be the fake one so if you just want the actual answer, just scroll down to the end; and since the poll was aimed at non-UY fans, I'll provide context for the real characters' descriptions so there will be character spoilers ahead!!

A cow monster, who is also the most handsome character in the series.

This is Rei, the female lead (Lum)'s ex-fiancee. The description I gave may sound kinda weird but it probably wouldn't sound as weird if I had stated that he has two forms: one being a mostly humanoid form and the other which is the cow monster one. He swaps between forms at random, mostly depending on his mood and comedic timing.

A princess who wants to lose her virginity.

This is Princess Kurama. She's the princess of the alien race, the Karasutengu (Crow Goblins). Since her royal line was fading away because there were no more humanoid men on her planet, Kurama decided to find a suitable man to mate with, but has no luck when it comes to that since her standards are way too high for the any of the males in the series.

A fire breathing bumblebee.

This is Ten. Like his cousin Lum, he is an oni alien and his abilities are to fly and breathe fire. Ten ended up getting a good number of votes in the poll and I'm guessing it's because people thought I meant a literal bumblebee. I gave that description to poke fun at his character design and I'm pretty sure most UY fans were able to recognize him from the description, and his resemblance to bees has been stated in canon too. But if you did vote Ten because you thought he was an actual bee, I am so sorry, please don't kill me, I should have added the word 'alien' or 'kid' to the description.

A school nurse who regularly beats up her male students.

This is Sakura. She is a shrine maiden and a school nurse at the main high school in the series. I don't think I need to give much of an explanation for her description; she's hot and all the male students are horny so it shouldn't be a surprise that she beats them all up.

A woman hater whose diet consists of baseballs.

This is Tobimaro Mizunokoji. He hates women, which is most likely a result of spending time with his rival's sister who treated him horribly when they were children (and she still does, by the way; we'll talk about her next). Oh, and as the description says, he can eats baseballs whole.. and is able to spit them out entirely too.

A teenage girl who kills boredom by plotting and attempting murder.

This is Ryoko Mendo. She is a rich, well mannered young lady and her favorite hobby is torturing her big brother and his rival (aka baseball boy from above) in many different ways for fun. I wanted to add a bit more to explain exactly how sadistic she is but the wiki does it better, so have that instead:

She will throw grenades and bombs at people while acting calm and composed, and yet will cry over them when they return to her charred to a crisp. She often acts in total secrecy without telling anyone of her plans, such as setting bombs in a giant Christmas Cake, turning a giant Christmas Tree into a firework, and retaliating to people by setting off bombs near them. She also shows an interest in black magic, having used hypnosis and voodoo dolls to torment her brother.

So yeah, she's fucking insane and I love her for it. Have my favorite Ryoko image ever as a bonus:

A sheltered girl who ends up falling in love with her brother.

This is Asuka Mizunokoji, younger sister of baseball boy from above. I feel like her she needs the most context since I think this might be the most questionable description of them all.

As per tradition, the women in the Mizunokoji family are not allowed to meet a single male until they are 15, this includes their father and brother; which is the case for Asuka. Because she has never seen a man, she doesn't know what they are (or anything that falls under 'men', like father, brother, etc.) and was raised in isolation by her mother and her family's all female guards. But her first, unfortunate encounter with a man, which happened before the arranged day ends up terrifying her and as a result, she gets a phobia of men, no matter who they are... unless they are a 'big brother'. You see, when her female guards' explained to her what men are, they unintentionally had them sound.. scary; but they also tell her about 'big brothers' (since she'll have to meet hers) who are a special type of man who look like her and are very nice. Eventually, she finally meets her big brother, Tobimaro (who didn't even know she existed till then by the way), but since the description on what a 'big brother' given to her was incredibly vague and because she has no knowledge of how siblings work, she ends up falling for him unaware of how big of a taboo it is. Naturally, it is a one-sided crush since Tobimaro knows better but that won't change the fact that it causes a lot of trouble for him.

Ok, I'll stop here because that took forever to write. Also, I took some help to write the above part from Asuka's page on furinkan.com, I needed a reference for the entire paragraph because Asuka and her shtick needs one hell of an explanation.

A TV addict with zero social skills.

This is Shingo. He is a boy who went missing during an experiment when he was small and because of that, he grew up by himself (asides from some animals) in a jungle. His only source of entertainment there was a TV, which only has historical dramas. As a result, he became very attached to TVs (he used to think the TV was his grandfather, and no I will not explain), even after he was found and brought back to society. He is also terrible at socializing since he grew up on Japanese historical dramas which are incredibly outdated. He is already weak when it comes to interacting with men, but he is the worst when it comes to interacting with woman since he has no respect towards them (again, because historical dramas). I find it funny he got a lot of votes and according to tags, it's because his description sounded more normal than the others, which makes it even funnier because he's like the only character who actually watches TV (asides from watching TV during lunchtime and stuff).

A cowardly kid who aims for a life of crime.

And here it is, the fake one! With how many characters there are, it was hard to come up with someone (for some reason, I can't be creative when I really want to be) but after I posted the poll I realized that there is a minor character who fits half of the description: He is a kid who aims for a life of crime, but he is pretty strong willed and isn't exactly what you would call cowardly or timid (His name is Kintaro, in case you are wondering- he is only in the manga and 80's adaptation).

And that is all! Thanks for joining me here and I hope you have a great day ahead!!

[yuurivoice]

Not to tell you how to do your job or anything, and I don't think it's the audience's place to give suggestions when this is YOUR profession, it's just a small idea that occured to me.

But maybe in the upcoming Auron audio you could add a little note on the screen saying that new Auron content is coming soon, and then like do the same with future compilation videos, since they tend to do so well!! Like to let people know that if they like the characters, this is not where the story ends at all and they should stick around. I say this mainly cause I remember you once talked about how the major numbers on the Finn compilation didn't translate to a major increase in subscribers. Really hope this didn't come off as rude, I just think maybe if people think the compilations are the ENTIRE story it might not occur to them to subscribe!

It also might yield no results at all, idk. I just remember I didn't subscribe until multipleeee videos had been recommended to me over MONTHS, mainly because I had no idea that there was a story to be followed.

I've written like three different responses to this but as I yap on I get new conclusions and ideas. This is v3 of my answer lmfao.

Preface: People don't pay attention to shit and unless you are clever or use a hammer, they do not care. They want the content. ESPECIALLY if they aren't familiar with you. This makes any deliberate Calls to Action run the risk of annoyance rather than making a meaningful impact on conversions.

Bonus note: If a video is scheduled to premiere, there's nothing I can add to it at this point without doing a whole reupload, giving Thoo a bunch of extra work, and all that shit. So that wasn't ever an option anyway.

My approach in this current iteration of how I do things is that rather than slob on somebody's knob begging for a sub, they're encouraged to either watch more videos or go to the homepage. My working hypothesis is that you're actually MORE likely to get a curious viewer to drop by your homepage before they subscribe, because they want to see what else is available.

The most recent changes I made to the channel homepage should make it abundantly clear that there are multiple stories, characters, and styles of content to jump into. Making sure that the homepage is great has probably made a massive difference in that regard, without impacting the videos themselves.

Playlists are horribly underutilized in this niche in particular, and on lots of YouTube channels really. So I made sure to try and nail that down. Still need to get the channel trailer locked in but tbh I don't know how effective those really are in 2024.

All of that being said, a ~15 second welcome intro at the start that explains what the compilation is and invites viewers to sub/explore the playlists would probably be the easiest way to accomplish that without intruding on the listening/viewing experience in a way that feels desperate or pander-y. That in conjunction with the end screen prompt would probably be the easiest way to do it.

I don't feel like that immediately turns massive hit videos into untapped wells of subscribers that I missed out on, it could help contextualize things a little more and who knows, maybe it WOULD be a big deal. Hard to say!

The context for me not immediately being like OH IT'S A SLAM DUNK HOW DID I NOT THINK OF THIS is because I run a very lucrative business converting viewers to patrons and I have very minimal in-video notes about hearing the spicy bits on Patreon. People often figure things out for themselves if they're motivated enough, and you run the risk of chasing them off if you come across like a desperate ass hoe. lmfao

I appreciate the ask, but also can assure you that I've spent several hours mulling over these very specific issues and I've considered just about every angle. If I had included every little detail and wrinkle of information I was cooking up in the various iterations of this answer it would be a mile long. So trust me. I've thought about it in great detail, have worked with people on it, workshopped things and much more!

Y'all got me yappin' up a storm on here lately. lmfao

[kanmom51]

JK live 27 July 2023 0:00 KST

cr./To the creators of the content used in this post.

So, this one was a pre-scheduled one. Hence the AI translation during the live itself.

As such, JK had to start at the time scheduled, and because the timing wasn't up to him, the man came to us sooooooo tired, telling us how he fell asleep and found it hard to wake up to his alarm.

But that tired feeling it kind of lingered almost throughout the whole live. He does tell us he lacks energy and I truly wonder how he managed to pull through those 2 and half hours.

And I must admit it, this live was a hard one for me to get through too. His low energy was something that effected me as well. I think it might show in this post, lol.

Not too much happened in the live. We did get a few moments worth mentioning though and a lovely lovely ending to the live as well (well a point from which JK decided it's time to end the live).

JK is wearing his bro's new line, shorts and sweatshirt.

He also has the lights dimmed and purple. He explains about the new light bulbs he has and shows them. Then tells us that the reason he has it so dark is because he woke up, saw himself and:

Like looking tired or even worse (his post workout look, lol) ever stopped him from showing himself. He adds that he's bloated (not sure that it's in the same context, but still).

Made me wonder.

The losing weight thing - ugh, it literally drives me nuts. But it's so engraved in them at this point...

Of course JK thanks army for #1 billboards.

Tells us about him going to perform on Inkigayo. Sorry, old news by now, lol.

One thing he does explain is why he's only doing Inkigayo, and that's because that was the only show his upcoming schedule could allow him to do. Meaning, man has a packed schedule coming up, probably including preparations for that second single we were told about in Suchwita.

JK said that at first he wanted to do it live, just get up on stage and perform, but

He says that and he giggles.

I wonder if he's talking about his very elaborate stage set up. You know, the one that celebrates his time in NY with JM.

Our neuro divergent prince gets caught up in the table pattern, more so the texture (that is such an ADHD thing to do). The question I beg to ask is just how often does he actually use that table not to have noticed it by now? Seeing he's supposedly been living there since April 2022 more or less. I ask this especially as towards the end of the live he once again tries to clean the table and is thoroughly surprised that's the actual table pattern.

He was asked if he's going to go back to Jung soon - not really nice and not something that JK liked in the past. JK said no. That he's actually going to cut his hair a little more.

"Did I listen to V's album yet?"..."Did V's news go up yet?" Ahm... ok, so there is news coming (when it lands let's all act surprised).

JK says he heard a couple of V's songs. He's good. They're good. That's it.

Did someone actually ask him if he wants to eat ramen? Him just answering literally, lol. But there is no way under the sun that comment was an innocent one. Yuck. And this won't be the last of the cringe worthy comments he gets during the live. He does mention how the comments are "the same" or "the same style". And we know exactly what he is talking about. I guess that even that line was crossed in the Inkigayo live.

Suchwita - enjoyed filming, well we saw that didn't we? Lol

But he tells us not to look forward to it too much because he didn't say much, mostly ate, lol. Not true JK. Not true.

JK talks about having to go exercise but then also about how there are days when you have zero energy. He felt like that, so he finished work and stayed home all day (Question is when did he finish work and what does he mean by all day. That's actually 2 questions, lol).

his knees hurt. I guess too much JM lifting can do that to you?

30 minutes in approx. he asks if he should play music. I kind of wonder how he made it this far without the distraction of the music, cause those first 30 minutes were kinda rough (as in he's so tired and a little lackluster and pulling through not without difficulty).

And then JK goes on to say that he doesn't know if it's because he's been working and being busy

but

He actually says he liked resting but after going back to work, coming home from work, to an empty apartment may I add, is not great.

Ehm and maybe it's because once again he got used to having JM by his side and being alone at Brunnen is not something that he looks forward to or enjoys or wants or finds easy to do?

Asked if he will do the challenge with Mingyu. JK, ma man, you have no idea what you started with that challenge you did with Mingyu, lol. Well, obviously he did it...

JK asked in the comments if he's happy alone, answers he's not alone. I do believe he was talking about being with army. As simple as that.

JK is such a big goofball. "I'm Iron man"...

JK watches his performance on BBC 1. Does some of the dance moves but he seems a little muted. Like I said, most of this live just felt like it lacked energy.

He does say how he felt bad that day, and it could be him not loving the performance (he nods with his head a couple of times).

He does have a good laugh at the shirt he's wearing - abs showing through the shirt, lol.

Plays Let there be love .

Ok, so JK looks up JK Seven cover and then sees AI covers, doesn't really tell us too much other than that he has heard a few and some are cool, and if you pay for it it would probably be better quality (funny to hear an artist that an AI version of themselves is cool).

And then he goes AI Jimin, which obviously popped up on his screen. Because why would it if JM wasn't part of his search logarithm to start with, lol.

Funny thing is that he looks surprised. and it's funny cause he obviously heard himself and he tells us he heard Tae, but not JM?

Maybe he preferred not to...

Or, the JM just came out because he couldn't help himself, lol.

JK talks about the Seven dance practice that was uploaded. He tells us how it was originally filmed in the Hybe practice room but he personally didn't like it. So as soon as they got to America he had them film it again.

All while he was feeling bad and achy. All while apparently there was really nothing wrong with the original recording other than him not liking it personally.

So yes folks, if anyone had doubts if this specific parallel was intended...

Other than Letter, that is. Or as the translation says Dear.Army (cannot help but wonder if JK actually calls the song by that name).

Comment: Do a seven challenge with V.

JK: I don't think V would do it.

Short and precise and moving on.

Tae did go on stage and do what? 10 seconds? Lol. But yeah, JK was surprised by that one, lol.

Surprised he came. Surprised he got up on stage and joined him.

And once again we have the weird comments - sexy shower, let's eat ramen etc. Like boundaries are non existent to these people. Yuck.

"I'm 18 today can I marry you?" JK: "I'm sorry". Like wtf dude. They should be sorry they wrote something so cringy and stupid.

Coincidence that right after that he's knocking his knuckles on the table for his JM out there for all to see?

Also, Jimin my love, JK answered the question. And it was NO! That should make you happy!!!

So, our millionaire tells us he doesn't game anymore now days and is trying to get rid of his computer. Ok, so first off, seriously? Selling it second hand? Could use the couple hundred dollars he'll get from it? Second off, is he not gaming at all or making do with what they have set up at JM's? Third, not playing at all, meaning not playing with Tae and his mates anymore?

Recommendations he says. "Watch funny BTS moments". JK: "I've already watched those..." Lol.

Question to you all:

Why does he always ask for permission to go to the loo? Lol.

What if he didn't get it?

He just couldn't stop doing the chicken voice, lol.

Clapped his mouth shut at one point too.

Dancing 7 and showing us love, lol.

At this point, we're over an hour and a half into the live and someone in the comments mentions the Love letter from army. He is really surprised by the song being released, goes looking for it and clearly hasn't seen or heard it yet.

He is moved by the song. So much so it brings him to tears. Our adorable loving JK that loves army so much it brings him to tears.

He says he's so moved, tears just flowing.

He once again mentions he hasn't seen the song before and thanks army for the song. crying a little more. and hears it again.

Second time round he is just enjoying the song, still in the feels, puffy eyes and all.

He says he knows JM saw it, explaining there is a review on the reaction (so he saw the reaction but not the song? or is the reaction up there in his recommended, cause dah, it's a JM clip and that's what dominates his search logarithm).

At this point JK talks about how he knows he is receiving love with that song. It's lovely to receive love, and that he'll memorize the song and sing it to us... waiting for it.

He really is all feely.

Continues: "to receive a song as a present from someone it's really...it's really...rare thing to get..... My heart is getting warm..."

Yes we know babe. It's rare and wonderful and you would know, wouldn't you, given this isn't the first song you have been gifted. By the love of your life.

He asks what to do. Again suggested to watch BTS funny moments, he rejects it.

Asked if he saw Barbie movie, answered not yet, but says he does want to see it.

Bam is doing well. He has to go see Bam.

Asked in the comments if he has seen the guitar JM got "I saw it I saw it".

Then JK is suggested to watch another few army songs and he does. He loves them and is moved by them and by the fact that army have created so many songs for them.

So happy, so moved...keeps singing borahae...

And then he goes and asks "should we hear JM's Dear.Army? and starts with his Jimin search, saying his name over and over again.

Knows the words by heart. Of course.

He was watching the live version. No lyrics there. It's all him.

And he is definitley in the feels.

Like deep in the feels, closing eyes little smile, looking at camera for us to see he's loving it.

And it's not about him singing, he's kind of whispering the lyrics. It's not about singing for us, it's all for himself.

And not a word about his part in the song. Nothing.

Ends with:

And still not mentioning his part in it.

Following that with repeating his JM chant - jm jaman jm jaman from the beginning, lol.

But he continues to sing the song. and then it's time to sleep.

like literally minutes earlier he said he's not tired. And now he asking if he should go to sleep. And it's time to go to sleep and does a little adlib with Letter, lol.

Oh, and "how would it sound if we sing JM letter in Kim Jang hoon's version?" the chicken version that is, lol.

But he doesn't go there.

He ends it all then and there.

I thought he wasn't tired.

Perhaps thought he could get on his bike and go to a certain someone that he just heard sing him a song forever...

Cause yep, man was in the feels.

Yeah, this one was tame and mostly uneventful. But we got him answering no to a marriage proposal (assuming that made his life partner very happy) and we got him watching JM sing letter and joining in, even though it wasn't for us. Oh no. That whole part was solely for himself. And once it was over he caught himself and bid us goodnight.

So all and all not one of his wild ones. I mean, JK gave us a run for our money only a day later with his flirt fest with JM while lying half naked in bed. And a couple later we had the savagery of JK after his Inkigayo pre-recording.

But we got this - his JM smile.

And what else do we need?

[cellarspider]

16/?? Chemically inert

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We return to a movie whose biggest enemy is its own script, Prometheus. This is the second post today, because the previous one was so awful and I had very little context to add beyond anger.

So, now we come to a scene that made me wonder in the theater: what the fuck is going on with straight people?

A tangent is required at this moment, before we get back to pondering this question. Some of my friends like to watch their favorite science fiction shows with me, particularly if they have to do with genetics. Orphan Black, for example. This is because it is understood that I will regularly call out “Pause!”, and then they get to sit and listen to me alternatively praise or sputter over the fictionalization of my field of study. 

“Look. Their genetic material pre-dates ours. We come from them.”

Pause!

This is, probably, meant to hammer in the premise of the movie to a lay audience. However, the way she phrased it left me confused for a good long minute, trying to figure out what the fuck she meant. We don’t speak of any extant species as “pre-dating” another, even if they look exactly like their fossilized ancestors: all modern organisms are modern organisms. They have been continuously evolving the whole time they’ve existed. What we talk about is species diverging from each other. We didn't come from chimpanzees, or from neanderthals for that matter: we diverged from them.

(https://news.wisc.edu/naledi/) 

If I were to try and explain what she actually means by this: The particular Engineer they sampled from possess genetic sequences that are present in our evolutionary precursors, but have been lost in humans. That, and/or the Engineer possesses no sequences that are specific to modern Homo sapiens. 

To which my response is: no shit. They’re eight foot tall, completely hairless humanoids, surrounded by advanced technology. This is not Futurama.

This still doesn’t answer all my other logistical problems with when they got involved on Earth, which I already rambled about at length. 

But now we get to the real mystery of the scene: why are straight people?

I’m asexual as a rock. No, not that rock. But I’m not sex-repulsed. Sexual media and art is fine by me, but Hollywood does such a shit job with romantic chemistry that I thought I was for quite a while.

Shaw and Holloway are a couple. We know this, because they are a pair of female and male adult humans who work together in a movie. They have held hands and smiled at each other. Honestly, if Holloway hadn’t called Shaw “baby” soon after they woke up from stasis, I wouldn’t have known. 

Admittedly, this may be due to the fact that my “flirting or not” radar is hilariously non-functional most of the time. I have been on dates before without realizing it. Multiple times. It’s that bad.

This is the scene where we are supposed to see how they are romantic together, and how they grapple with their present situation. Holloway froze a rose in the cargo, along with a bottle of champagne. The fact that he has already been drinking heavily will surely make this especially fun, I’m sure.

Shaw, at least, acknowledges “[t]his is The most significant discovery in the history of mankind,” though I’d argue whichever early hominin first saw the big bald bastards already called dibs on that. I appreciate the gesture toward understanding the enormity of this situation, but her behavior hasn’t demonstrated it so far. Holloway’s, however, is even worse, and I think we are supposed to take Shaw as the more staid and reasonable one because of this.

With this and her further evidence that the Engineers made humans, Holloway immediately says “Okay. I guess you can take your father's cross off now.”

Yes. This is what you should say, when you’re in a long-term relationship with a religiously devout person who lost one or both of their parents at a young age. Definitely.

I get what this is trying to do, thematically. This movie is about the creation of life. We have a religious character squaring her faith with a piece of information that is incompatible with the literal text of her religion’s doctrine. 

Funny enough, we have a lot of religious people who work in biology already. Unless your religion was created last tuesday, there is literally no way it won’t contradict with some aspect of what modern science has discovered. People create the mental space for the supernatural, either merging or separating it from their field of expertise. Or they may not believe in the supernatural at all, instead subscribing to belief systems that provide an ethical and behavioral framework for their lives. 

A lot of scientists who are religious state that their religion is part of why they study the material world: Out of a love for the world, a call to aid others, or because the act of learning is seen as divine in itself.

This is also the kind of conversation that, frankly, two lunatics who believe in ancient alien contact with Earth should’ve had a long time ago. ‘Hey, you believe that big men from space were talking to the Sumerians, how’s that fit in with the whole Christianity thing for you?’

But no, he’s going somewhere hilariously baffling, via a direct route through the state of Wildly Insensitive as he barrels along the Clunky Dialog Highway.

“But here's what we do know: That there is nothing special about the creation of life. Right? Anybody can do it. All you need is a dash of DNA and half a brain, right?”

“I can't. 

I can't create life. What does that say about me?”

He FORGOT HIS LIFE PARTNER WAS INFERTILE.

“Ellie, that's not... I didn't mean… I wasn't talking about…”

Have you ever been so drunk that you made your girlfriend feel like Natasha ‘I’m a monster comparable to the Hulk because I was sterilized’ Romanoff in Age of Ultron

This is, as with most of the most thunderously clunky dialog in this movie, a plot point. There are ways they could’ve done this differently that I will get to at that time

But you know what’s even more baffling about this? Apparently that didn’t kill the mood.

It makes the next scene where Janek seduces Vickers with a jumpscare accordion and “Are you a robot?” almost make sense.

Or, frankly, Idris Elba and Charlize Theron are acting wizards who somehow managed to strangle some chemistry out of that scene.

Next time, the not-so-little death!

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Citations for alt-text rambles:

https://archive.org/details/abbott-and-costello-meet-the-mummy 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Nepenthes_cultivars 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecce_Homo_(Garc%C3%ADa_Mart%C3%ADnez_and_Gim%C3%A9nez)#Failed_restoration_attempt_and_internet_phenomenon 

https://youtu.be/cZyj6GECjZ0 

https://youtu.be/nRr1t80TayE 

http://www.totheescapehatch.com/2012/06/escape-by-playing-stephen-stills.html 

https://www.discogs.com/artist/236968-Stephen-Stills 

Overflow Ramble 1 

I want it noted at the start here: I try to use screenshots where everyone looks as dignified as they can without losing objects or gestures I want to comment on, because otherwise it breaks flow. I could not find a screenshot where Shaw wasn’t stickin h leggy out real far, or making this extremely weird face. I tried. The movie defeated me.

Medium wide shot of Shaw sitting on a couch (loose pillows that don’t have velcro surfaces to keep them in place if the ship rolls), with Holloway in reverse shot, sitting on the other side of a coffee table (no lip to catch rolling objects), with a rose sitting in a cup between them. Shaw is about to stand up, and has just the most goddamn weird expression on her face. 

In the background is a side table (does have a lip, not tall enough to do anything), with a lamp (might be magnetized/gripped to the surface, doesn’t look it), a pile of books (falling hazard), a stick of incense burning in a cup (falling AND fire hazard), and, as previously noted during Vickers’ introduction, there’s the required Cultured White Person African Art Pieces just sort of. Leaned on a tiny little shelf in the background (how have they not fallen over already). Finally, a tropical hanging pitcher plant can be seen hanging behind the lamp, probably a Nepenthes cultivar. Did David keep these alive for two years? 

There is a bewildering buttload of Nepenthes cultivars, with an active enthusiast community in Japan. So, SO many of the cultivars are called ‘[Adjective] Koto’ (cite 2). Like, to the point where someone was clearly breaking out the dictionary to find more words for Koto. Decorous Koto. Effulgent Koto. Effulgent Koto again, there’s two of them. Elfine Koto. Emotional Koto. Felicitous Koto. Feminine Koto. Feverish Koto. Igneous Koto. Immobile Koto. And that’s as far as the Kotos go, apart from Zonal Koto. Somebody in 1984-1994 was literally going A-Z on Kotos before they suddenly stopped at I, turned around, and went back up to throw in Gerontic Koto and Ferny Koto.

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[stormblessed95]

https://www.tumblr.com/stormblessed95/740646993891917824/httpsxcomkmgoogieministatus17509989912175904

Thanks for this. I love how we can always count on you for accurate information.

But didn’t Tae only record a guide at Jk’s place? I don’t think he recorded the actual song. Plus Jk said he got some new equipment for his studio and Tae asked to try recording but he said Tae didn’t do the final thing at his place.

Also, Didn’t Tae say in one of his interviews that the member who heard his album first was Hobi? I know that Jk might have heard some of the songs first or so but Tae said it was Hobi whp heard the album first.

Also, in Jungkook’s Live, when he said “i heard it first” he didn’t mean like he was the first. The translation took away the context of the statement he made. He teased that he heard it “first” before the fans but that didn’t mean that he was the first to hear it. I hope i am explaining

If he wanted to say he was the first to hear it, he would have said this 내가 처음 들었어 but he said he said this 내가 너보다 먼저 들었어 lol. I mean it doesn’t really matter if he was the first to hear it or not but i just thought i should correct this because when weverse translated it, the context was lost as usual and many people misunderstood what he said.

Yes and yes to what you said about a guide and Hobi (I think).

Lol I think I've spoiled yall with my essay length posts when I correct misinformation a lot of the time 🤣🤣 I say lovingly. I do appreciate and love the add on!!! I was just doing this super quick, like one or two sentences replies to every point in the screenshot sent to me. I didn't want to take too much time doing all that and I knew y'all were smart enough, if provided the original content and even just knowing how shippers twist things, to find, interpret and recognize the context on your own 🥰

Plus when I said it's true JK said he listened to it first, it was! JK did say that! Whether he meant it as a tease to ARMYs about hearing it before us (probably) or just as he meant he was the first one to hear a song or two off the album (also possible since Tae did some recordings at his place) but Hobi listened to the album in its whole first, who knows. That extra context wasn't in the spirit of my super quick true or false game that I didn't want to spend more than 30 minutes doing 🤣

Super happy to talk more in depth with y'all about different points now though with asks like this! Thanks for sending it in and giving more context to those who might not know themselves!

Always feel free to send in asks with corrections or further information if needed!

[sailorblossoms]

Unrelated reasons have me thinking about “it was fine, it was sex” again, a line that packs a lot both in context... and even outside of it. 

When we talk about things that (ideally) should be good, just “fine” will be perceived as lukewarm at best, if not just a negatively. Just “fine” is a dismissal. Indifference. It’s indicative of disappointment, even. (I mean, picture cooking dinner for someone and then asking “how was it?” and they go “it was fine, it was food.” You probably wouldn’t want to cook for them again, because it’ll give you the impression that they didn’t really like the damn food. It might even make you wonder what’s wrong with the food, your cooking, or the person who ate it.) We usually regard sex as something that should be “mindblowingly good,” especially in the kind of stories shaping Simon’s perception of how dating and romance ought to be. So good that if someone doesn’t want it, then “something is wrong” with them (Simon’s thoughts in awtwb indicate more than once that he doesn’t get the point of sex for the sake of it).

In context, Simon is one to downplay or to be used to discomfort. He’ll go “it’s fine, whatever, I’ll live” and the dude can’t even move his wings from the pain. But even outside of that, sex is something that can be very vulnerable and complicated. It’s something that, in certain circumstances, can absolutely just feel uncomfortable and weird, even when all parties involved are trying to make it work. Sex is thought of as synonymous with pleasure, but it doesn’t always work like that... Negative or bad orgasms are a thing, associated with going though the motions sex, meaning even an orgasm can feel unpleasurable, uncomfortable, and even hurt (I remember reading a study where someone reported having experienced those with so much frequency they started to feel repulsed by sex). But it doesn’t have to go to that extreme. There’s the notion that men always come fast, but they can absolutely struggle with even keeping an erection and not being able to get off no matter how much they try. 

Arousal non concordance is a thing, meaning that genitals can respond to touch even when you’re not into it at all. The body and the mind aren’t connected here. (Picture absolutely hating the sensation of people tickling you, but you can’t help laughing anyway because you’re ticklish). This is crucial to understand that a body responding to stimulation doesn’t mean someone secretly “wants it,” and perfectly explains how someone like Simon can look back and say “yes, I did it, but I don’t think it proves I was attracted” and then fight the insistence that he was.   

Someone could get wet or get an erection while watching paint dry simply because they’re being touched. Going through the motions sex can have negative consequences on people mentally and emotionally, it can kill relationships, and even make things harder for following ones. All things we normally don’t talk about in the kind of stories – where heterosexual romance is framed as an endgame and synonymous with happiness and success – that Simon would be used to seeing. Add to that traditional expectations that make men active and women passive (it’s “up to the man to perform” while the woman “just has to be pretty” – if we don’t get into the whole “women have to serve” bs) (that men have to always want it and want it early and often) and you get another level of fucked up when Simon finds himself not wanting it and adding it to the list of “I did what I thought she wanted but got it wrong” (his reaction to “does Wellbelove?” [appreciate a job well done] says a lot)

When hearing “sex,” one automatically assumes that desire, pleasure and (positive) orgasm are involved, even we get signs to think otherwise – I mean, I’ve seen people make the very assumptions these book challenge about these characters (some then even giving the author shit over it haha ah). But Simon having had sex doesn’t mean he had to be attracted in some way in order to “be able to do it.” That sex took place doesn’t mean the participants experienced pleasured or that it ended because anyone had any release (going through the motions!). Not wanting it doesn’t always look like being unable to get the mechanics of it done, or “genitals not reacting at all” (again, arousal non concordance is a thing) (this applies to Agatha as well, but I focus on Simon because he’s the one who more often falls victim to assumptions because he’s the boy, and “boys always want it” etc etc).  

Part of it is that it can be something that one wouldn’t (or wouldn’t want to) describe as “bad”  if it doesn’t reach extreme levels of distress or something like that. Even if it’s low-key traumatic and/or experiencing it awakens feelings that makes one not wanting to think or deal with it at all. Embarrassment, shame, confusion, discomfort, etc. It’s complicated. If it happened in a situation where is acceptable or there is even pressure to want it (in a relationship) one might even hesitate more to say or consider it as bad, and be more confused when they’re not into it (especially when one doesn’t want to admit the relationship isn’t working). 

Before being with Baz, Simon lives his adolescence trying to conform to traditional roles and expectations, pushing through while avoiding being alone in his head, reframing and hiding away everything that would tell him “I don’t want this,” “I don’t like this,” “this does absolutely nothing for me.” (”I’m unhappy” and/or maybe even “I’m bored”). He’s absolutely the kind of person who would struggle with even arriving at the questions “what does it mean that I did this thing even though I wasn’t attracted? Or didn't really want it? what does it say about me?”) (”it was just going through the motions” say so much about lack of pleasure/not liking it, even more if you add in how food is the only way Simon can seem to understand pleasure before he’s with Baz, and would contribute to how hard it is to suddenly deal with so much desire when his past experience dealt with no desire at all)

In this vein, I think it’s important that Baz and Simon actually talk and reassure each other about liking it after having sex for the first time, because orgasming by itself doesn’t necessarily mean someone felt good or had a good time. 

[In terms of pressure on Agatha and Simon: to be clear, I think expectations made them pressure themselves. (See Agatha going “I’ll be by his side if that’s where he wants me” but then you pass the mic to Simon and he goes “I was just doing what I thought she wanted.”) It’s “what they’re supposed to do” and so they did it. Maybe not wanting to let the other down, but getting it “all wrong” all the same, because the person they’re with is wrong for them, wrong for the experience, etc]

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

So I did write today. And you could get context but that would require effort on my part.

So lets just say the Isle kids decided to recreate Chaos Games in Auradon and roped good few hero kids to join. (Part one’s out there somewhere and yes I plan on finishing this damn thing.)

Audrey has yet to set out, but she has much shorter walk, nevermind the advantage of home territory.

Though she also has two very impatient Li siblings with a phone on the speaker, yelling into it in Chinese and communicating last-minute details with their parents – they agreed to lend them an unit of the Great Chinese Army, for a practical exercise.

Yes, that’s how they’re calling it.

Anything but „Crazy Death-Magic Game,“ which was Audrey’s preferred title. Or „Chaos Games,“ as they’ve apparently been dubbed by the Isle kids a long time ago.

She supposes she should call Arabella, see if the Atlantica princess is still on, too; she takes out her phone.

„What, princess, getting cold feet?“ asks Anthony Tremaine lazily from where he’s sprawled on the sofa, Ginny Gothel more or less laying in his lap. „You really should.“

„Don’t talk nonsense,“ she scoffs at him, „And if you’re only here to kick my morale under, doors are over there.“ She flicks her hand in the correct direction, ready to finally call Arabella.

„Why, sweetheart, me? Undermining your morale? I’d never!“

Ginny laughs, which has absolutely nothing to do with his statement, Audrey is sure. She glares at both of them, to absolutely no effect. One of the more unfortunate side effects of Isle upbringing, or maybe just coexisting with their unspoken girlfriend.

„You absolutely would, Tremaine,“ she answers, „And for no reason whatsoever, I’m sure. And why are you here, anyway?“

Anthony runs his hand across Ginny’s scalp – Ginny has stopped paying attention to the conversation again – and says: „You wound me, Audrey Rose, you wound me. I’m here as your advisor, and you’re so gonna need one if you want to stand a chance at this thing.“

„I do not!“ Well, now Audrey is offended.

Li siblings have hung up the phone and are now speaking to each other, still agitated. Very unconcerning thing, just as the next sentence from Anthony’s mouth.

„Oh believe me, you do. Harriet could probably take you all herself, if she wanted.“

Audrey freezes for a bit; she so didn’t sign up for this, thank you for asking. Finally, she shakes off her shock: „…Yeah,“ she says as she gestures at his expression with her pointer finger, drawing a circle in the air, „You really have to take off the heart eyes when you say stuff like that. Both of you,“ she adds with a quick glance at Ginny.

Ignoring their wide smiles, she turns around and dials Arabella. The phone rings for about a minute before announcing that the called is unreachable. What a bitch. Audrey glares at her phone for the offense and then turns around again.

„And what are you doing there, Gothel?“ she asks for lack of better things to do.

„Hmm?“

„I said, why are you here?“

„Oh,“ dismisses Ginny, „I’m a neutral party. I can do what I wanna.“ Anthony bends down to kiss her temple. Probably just because he can – Audrey looks away quickly.

„And why are you here?“ she questions again.

„I’m a medic. You’re gonna need me, sooner or later,“ Ginny says easily, as if that explained anything; she props herself up to kiss Anthony properly.

And why, yes, Audrey is starting to regret this whole thing greatly.

She shakes her head at the couple and joins Lonnie and Junior instead: They’ve got a war to plan. And maybe Arabella will finally call her back.

[lyraoctaviawrites]

✨Welcome to the Into the Phantasm Masterpost✨

Okay, should probably give some context here. I post a lot about Into the Phantasm and I just wanted to make this post to… I guess advertise/explain what it is and talk about the state that the series is currently in.

What is Into the Phantasm?

Into the Phantasm is a series of five fantasy novels. It follows the journey of Sarah Taylor and her two best friends Maya Cadigan and Lillian Snow. These three all lead fairly uneventful lives, but all of that changes the moment they meet with a mysterious, hooded traveller who turns out to be not of Earth, but of another world entirely. A wondrous place that exists through the reflective surface of the silver mirror they carry with them. A world where every story, world, character, creature or concept that humans come up with is made real. An alternate dimension called The Phantasm.

Above all else, Into the Phantasm is a character driven story with a focus on the emotional journeys and mental health of not just the main cast, but a good majority of the side characters as well. It is a MASSIVE series with a huge world and expansive lore. So much so that I couldn’t fit it all into the main series. There will be side stories releasing both alongside the main five parts and after they’ve all released. Into the Phantasm has so many different tales to tell over the course of its vast, continuous narrative that only becomes more beautiful and devastating as it goes along… Seriously, get used to book 1 and 2 while they’re there, I don’t fuck around with the later books. :3

ITP also has a focus on inclusivity, especially for an LGBTQIA+ audience. It features gay and lesbian characters, trans characters, ace/aro characters, etc. Also, as an autistic writer, I wanted to include autism, ADHD, OCD, etc, representation as well. Above all, Into the Phantasm is a safe space. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes. If you decide to read the series and spot something that’s harmful in any way to anyone, please let me know so I can change it.

Another thing I should probably add is that I don’t recommend ITP to a younger audience. The whole series, but especially books 3, 4 and 5 delve into some pretty mature themes. Trigger warnings have been included in the descriptions of each book, and if there’s anything triggering I didn’t mention, again, let me know so I can add it on.

Into the Phantasm will be releasing for absolutely free on Wattpad but depending on how things go, might not be there permanently. They’ll be there for a good long while, but will be removed once I have enough impressions and am able to get the books monetised. This will be announced if and when it happens.

If you think this series sounds interesting, I’d recommend following me, following the Into the Phantasm tag and keeping up with this post to see any and all updates.

Geez this section was long…

Updates on the current state of the series:

Currently, none of the parts are available to read. Book 1 was published up until recently but I decided to rewrite it as I felt like it wasn’t up to the standard that I felt it should be. If anyone read the original book 1 (unlikely) and thought it was a little naively written (very likely) I’d recommend trying it out again when the rewrite releases.

The first three chapters are DONE and are available to read!

You can access them here

[iwanttoleavethisblankbuticant]

little fanfic of Remi cause I’m obsessed.

Remi is @aller-geez’s character and Levi is @thekinkyleopard’s character. (I think. There’s a chance that’s flipped. Idk cause my brain is mush rn). I do not own any character’s mentioned in this fic, they are not my oc’s. This fic is based of this post from @aller-geez here (idk if this link works or not. It should bring you to her POV post but it might just bring you to her profile. I’m to tired to mess with it tbh.)

TW: illness, male x male, sneezes (barely any. There’s like three. My brain is really not cooperating), swearing? I honestly don’t remember but there probably is, and there is slight amounts of mess but not anything excessive.

anyway I hope this turned out alright. I’m not the best at writing but I’m trying lol.

fic after the cut:

The whole gang had decided to go on a trip to… well there wasn’t really a destination. They were all just going. It was truly mostly Levi’s idea. And with Levi so hyped for it, Remi just couldn’t say no to his kitten. So, somewhat begrudgingly, Remi went along with his mate’s and his mate’s friend’s idea of a group road-trip, despite the fact that Remi could feel sickness building in his sinuses. 

That speeds us up to now, where Remi sat on his hotel bed next to his beloved mate who was fast asleep as he had driven the group down here through the night. Remi look at Levi as he slept peacefully and juggled with the idea of waking him and asking him to go to the store and pick up some things to help his steadily declining condition. But as he saw his kitten getting his first traces of desperately needed sleep, he couldn’t bring himself to wake Levi. So with a sigh that sounded so scratchy that it was no longer recognizable as a sigh, Remi rose and slipped out of his hotel room and walked down the hall to your room. He went to you for many reasons: he could somewhat tolerate your existence (to an extent), you had a room to yourself so that would minimize the amount of people who got to see him vulnerable, your room was far away from Al’s so he didn’t risk that perverted bastard getting off to his misery, and you suffered from allergies so you were likely to have desperately needed tissues. 

The more he walks to your room, the more he wishes he had woken Levi. But he’s pretty much sealed his fate at this point. He knows he looks like shit, eye bags dark swollen and tinged red near the eye and bruise purple near his cheek, his skin paler then normal, sweat on his brow causing his baby hairs to cling to his clammy forehead. But worst of all, in his opinion, was the terrible unceasing itch in his sinuses. It caused him to hitch and hitch but it refused to manifest into an actual sneeze yet also refused to stop plaguing him. Plus it caused his nose to run like a faucet, and with no tissues in sight he kept having to wipe his runny appendage on the collar or sleeve of his shirt. 

Soon he finds himself at your door, he didn’t quite know how long he’d been standing there since he zoned out thinking about how utterly ridiculous this is going to be. Just walking up to someone he only knows through his boyfriend hotel door and begging for tissues after practically ignoring this individual’s existence up until now. But with an aggravated sigh Remi knocks on your door. 

Remi is surprised when the door swings open almost immediately but he quickly looks off to the side and forces his expression to be neutral. 

"Aye. You got any tissues?" Remi asks, trying to ignore the tickle in the back of his nose

"Levi’s asleep" Remi adds, feeling the need to explain further when met with silence. Though the statement doesn’t do much to explain with no context. But it makes sense in Remi’s fever clouded brain

"Ooookayy?" You mumble, opening your door more for Remi to come in. 

Remi shakes his head no as you motion for him to come in.

"Nah, just hiiiheh’… just give me some tissues and I’ll be on my way. I’m not here for chit chat" Remi says, stoping just before say ‘I’m not here for chit chat with a stranger’. He didn’t figure calling someone he technically knew of as a stranger would help him get tissues any faster. And he definitely needed tissues and soon because that little tickle in the back of his sinuses had decided that now, in front of someone he wasn’t the most fond of, he really needed to sneeze. And he could feel the amount of mucus in his sinuses and he didn’t want to be caught with no tissues when this tickle turned into a sneeze.

You cock an eyebrow as his breath hitches mid sentence but you can piece together why he’s in such a rush to get tissues as his breath hitches and his nose leaks. So you trudge into you hotel room, grab the whole box of tissues, and press them to Remi’s chest.

"Here, take care." You say, then you shut your door, sensing he wants to go back to his hotel room as quickly as possible so he can curl up next to his mate. 

As the tissues are pressed into his grasp and you promptly leave, Remi realizes that maybe your not that bad. You either A: picked up on the fact he did not want to be here, or B: you didn’t want him here to begin with. But something told Remi that it wasn’t the last option. 

So with a faint, unseen smile, Remi turns to walk back to his own temporary quarters. But immediately that itchy tickle in the back of his sinuses reared it’s head. 

His nose flairs as he fumbles to grab a tissue. Then he manages to his his fingers around it just as his brows furrow together. Then with one more breathy inhale, Remi buries his abused nose into the tissue and pitches forward with three large sneezes that make his head spin.

"Hii’ Hetchuu’iew! Hitttchiiew! Hetsheew! Snerrf!" 

From inside your hotel room your could hear Remi’s wet, desperate, and sickly sneezes. The walls were thin so you said a quick "bless you" that Remi was able to hear through the walls. 

Remi blushes slightly out of embarrassment, adding to his feverish flush. Then he makes a mental note to tell Levi of his encounter with you. With that, and a box of tissues, Remi retreats to his mate, cuddling up to him as soon as he can slip under the covers beside him.

[chibishortdeath]

So uh, first actual post I guess. This is all random dumps (taken from my instagram stories, so they’re formatted weird lol) of symbols and things associated with Simon. I’ve never seen anyone do this for him before so mwahaha I guess I’m the first >:3c. Sorry if this is kinda just a random stream of words, I’m just getting a bunch of thoughts down and anyone can use this information for theories, art, story analysis, and etc later d(^^ ).

The first one is a bunch of possibility important references, primarily things from HoD, but also a couple from OoE and the Hanged Man Skeletons, which are explained a bit more in the second and third image. There’s a couple details I didn’t have the space for oof (T_T ). If I remember correctly, the Smiling Statue is found in the area where the Hellmont enemies are. I’m not exactly sure if there’s any significance to any of the statue placements, but they’re definitely supposed to be a Carmilla and Simon reference, not sure on who the Sage statue is supposed to be tho. My best guess is maybe Death since he’s the other Simon’s Quest boss lol, but the statue really doesn’t look like him. It’s interesting. The Hero statue is very obvious, Juste gets the little flavor text that “that’ll be me someday” kinda referencing how Simon looked up to Christoper in a similar way (yes, Christopher, he is mentioned in the first manual in Japan I believe, I should talk about him eventually). The whole Hellmont/Shimon thing is nuts and idk why it’s just never mentioned again. Like the name Simon has the ability to be a pun in Japanese on “Death Gate/Gates of Death” which is 1. Badass and 2. Ominous as heck! I also didn’t get to fit in the random family heirloom clock that’s in ghost Dracula’s castle for some reason in HoD, the one that has the nice description of having been “bought on the day your grandfather was born” (not an exact quote word for word but yeah). It feels significant to me idk, why would family heirlooms end up in there? Also didn’t mention the Bullet Tip (called “Christopher’s Soul” in Japan), but that one’s interesting too.

Also I wasn’t able to fit the OoE and Simon’s Quest maps on there so I might make a post about comparing them later :3. That Anna girl could be talking about someone else, but considering the similarities and references to Simon and his games in the rest of OoE (which I also should explain if I can manage to get it all together) it’s safe to assume she’s having nightmares of one of Simon’s fights against Dracula. Which is also interesting in the context that her whole side quests revolve around helping her cat protect her from dark spirits.

I know this wiki isn’t the most reliable source, but I’ve seen other sources that claim the skeletons on the outer wall of SotN and DoS (I believe) are supposed to be a reference to the whip swinging in CV4. It’s really interesting that they’d make a reference to Simon by having the skeletons be hung by one foot like the hanged man is commonly depicted considering the meanings behind that card, but since the position of the skeleton is pretty much the same in both, it’s probably intentional.

The last Chronicles one is kinda based on the assumption that these are rose thorns, but when looking up thorn symbolism a looooot of the specific red rose symbolism kinda started to line up really well. Roses also have a lot of religious significance too so I figured it wouldn’t be that big of a stretch to say they were rose thorns. Chronicles is not the first time flowers have been mentioned with Simon in mind however, I couldn’t fit it anywhere, but the Japanese text for the fastest Simon’s Quest ending mentions he “brought full blown flowers in next spring”, just a fun fact tho, idk how to add it into anything here tbh (-w-; ).

What was the most interesting about this dive into random symbols and other details was how often things ended up symbolizing “self sacrifice” and/or “martyrdom”! Usually twice or thrice wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but considering the vague nature of all the Simon’s Quest endings in all versions of the game and the general lack of focus on Simon’s story aspect, it’s pretty cool to see some things that line up like that :O! Also I am thoroughly aware that I might just be looking to deep into things and connecting things and aren’t there, but I don’t really care cause I had fun!!! :3 Anyway, do with this knowledge what you will, hope you guys like it.